#I wish I trusted them with anything but I don’t and don’t think I ever will so im just going to keep doing this

[amara-scott]

Never been loved.

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x Slytherin!female Reader Tags: Angst, Angst, Angst

Prompt: "You've never been loved, I can tell."

It would have been a beautiful spring day in the courtyard of hogwarts. But standing before Mattheo—you knew this was possibly a turning point about to happen. Your best friend. Having built that trusting relationship with him was hard. On both sides. But you stuck together and knew each other well.

But now the tension between you and Mattheo is thick, like a storm ready to break. You can feel it in the air, the unspoken words that hang between you both, electrifying the space. And yet, the weight of it all crashes down with the finality of your words, words that you didn't even realize held so much truth. "You've never been loved, I can tell." You don’t know why you said it, why the words slipped from your lips like a confession, an accusation. But the moment they leave your mouth, they settle over him like a shadow, dark and unavoidable.

You watch him, frozen, as his gaze falters, as if a part of him dies with your words. His shoulders drop, and for the briefest moment, he looks almost… human. Vulnerable. The walls he so carefully constructed around himself seem to crack, and for the first time, you see the weight he’s been carrying—the one he’s never let anyone see.

But Mattheo doesn’t speak. Not right away. His lips tremble, just slightly, as if the words he wants to say are too much to bear. His breathing is shallow, uneven. It’s a quiet sort of pain, the kind that threatens to swallow him whole, but he refuses to let it. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mutters, the harshness in his voice an attempt to mask the tremor you caught. His jaw clenches, his eyes narrow, but they can’t hide the flicker of something deep within them.

You wish you could take back the words, erase the hurt you’ve caused him, but you can't. The damage has been done, and now all you can do is watch him retreat behind that mask again.

“You don’t know me,” he snaps, cutting your thoughts off. The rawness in his tone pulls at your chest, makes your heart ache for him in a way you hadn’t expected. He’s breaking, but he won’t let you see it. His walls go back up, taller and colder than before, as he presses his lips together, trying to maintain control.

“You don’t know my name,” he continues, but it’s not the name he’s referring to. It’s something deeper, something that has been built over years of pressure, expectations, and burdens no one should ever bear.

You reach for him, words forming on your tongue, but they choke you as he takes a step back. The tears that threaten to spill seem to freeze in your throat. You want to apologize, to explain yourself, but the words are too heavy, the apology too fragile.

He shakes his head then, and you feel the weight of his emotions like a physical blow. “No,” he says, voice cracking. “You don’t have the right to talk about me. Talk about love. You don’t know anything about me.” His voice raises, and you flinch, a tiny part of you bracing for the anger that you know is coming. But then—then his eyes soften, and a single tear escapes, rolling down his cheek, tracing the path of all the years of grief he’s kept locked away.

The world tilts as you see that tear. It shatters everything you thought you knew about him. The bravado, the indifference—it all crumbles. He’s not invincible. He’s not the cold, untouchable boy he’s shown everyone.

You want to reach out, to take his face in your hands and promise him that it doesn’t have to be like this, but the fear that grips you—fear of what he’ll do, of what this moment will mean—paralyzes you.

When he speaks again, his voice is low, but it cuts through you like a knife. “I think it’s best if we part ways from now on.” The words hang in the air, and for a moment, everything goes still. The wind dies, the distant sounds of the castle fade. His voice is the only thing that matters now.

Before you can process what’s happening, he’s turning away from you, walking toward the castle with a speed that leaves you breathless, leaves you empty. You stand there, a hollow ache settling in your chest.

Your feet move before your mind catches up, and you grab his arm, forcing him to stop. “Mattheo, no—don’t say that.” But he doesn’t even look at you. His body stiffens, his hand brushes yours off as if it’s a weight he can’t bear.

“I’m only saying what you would expect of me. Your image of me is quite apparent. Since you know me so well.” His words are cruel, but they are truth. And it cuts deeper than anything he’s said before. You step back, your heart sinking with the realization that he’s right.

With one last glance over his shoulder, he’s gone, leaving you standing in the shadows of the evening, alone.

Days pass. You bury yourself in your studies, pretending like it doesn’t matter. You let the ache settle in your bones, telling yourself that you’re stronger than this, that you’re better off without him. But every time you close your eyes, you see him—his face, the way his eyes softened for the briefest moment before he pulled away from you, the tear that marked the end of everything.

Pansy finds you in the library, but even she can see the storm brewing inside you. She drags you out, forces you to confront what you’ve done, and somehow, you find yourself standing at the threshold of the common room, looking at Mattheo across the room.

You stand frozen at the entrance to the common room, your breath shallow, heart pounding. The noise around you seems to fade into a dull hum as you lock eyes with Mattheo. He’s sitting there, looking as casual as ever, but there’s something in his gaze that stops you cold—something colder than you’ve ever seen before. It’s like he’s trying to shut himself off from you, a wall rising in the space between you that feels miles wide.

Pansy’s grip on your sleeve is the only thing keeping you tethered to the present, but even her silent pressure on your arm doesn’t make your feet move. She knows what’s going on in your head, even if you’re too caught up in the chaos to say it.

Mattheo’s face remains unreadable as his eyes flicker between the fireplace and the others in the room, but the tension in the air is thick. You can’t tell if he’s angry, hurt, or simply indifferent—but the chill in his expression tells you enough. It’s the same kind of look he’s given you every time you’ve pulled away, each time you’ve said something wrong, like you’ve been a weight dragging him down.

“I think I should go,” you mutter to Pansy, your voice barely louder than a whisper. You can feel your hands trembling, the nervousness creeping up your spine.

Pansy doesn’t let go of your sleeve. Instead, she gently pulls you forward, her usual playful tone gone, replaced with a sharp, no-nonsense edge. “No. You’re not running away this time. Not from this.”

Your throat tightens, and for a moment, you feel like you might suffocate under the weight of it all—the fight, the guilt, the fear that he’ll never forgive you. But Pansy is already moving, leading you towards the fire where the others are seated. The firelight flickers in your eyes as you step forward, your body feeling heavy, like you’re walking through quicksand.

Mattheo doesn’t look up right away, but when he does, you feel the full force of his gaze. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t ask you how you’re doing or what you’ve been up to. It’s like the space between you has grown into something vast and impenetrable, and no words can bridge that gap. You wonder if that’s what you deserve after what you said, after what you did.

“You don’t have to do this,” Pansy says softly, but there’s a firmness beneath her words. “But if you don’t, you’ll never know if things could be fixed.”

You can’t breathe for a moment. Everything in you screams to just leave, to hide away again, but you know she’s right. You’ve never been good at facing what you’ve done. But if you leave now, you might lose him forever. And you can’t do that.

You stop in front of Mattheo, the words stuck in your throat. For a long moment, you don’t know where to start. It feels like you’ve already said everything you could say, yet nothing at all. But it’s different now. You’re standing here, staring at him, and for the first time in a long time, you’re not running.

"Can we- talk?" You don't hear your own words as you speak and hold your breath while you wait, still contemplating if you could make a run for it—but Pansy is right. Mattheo doesn't spare you a glance as he simply stands up and walks past you, toward a secluded corner in the common room, two armchairs next to each other, a dim lit candle and tall bookshelves rising to the ceiling. You join him as he sits, fiddling with my robe until you take a deep breath, finally looking up at him.

“I—I’m sorry.” The words feel like they’ve been stuck in your chest for so long. You swallow hard, voice cracking slightly. “I never meant to hurt you.”

He stares at you in silence, his jaw tightening, but there’s something there now—a flicker of recognition in his eyes, something that tells you he’s listening. Not because he has to, but because he wants to. You don’t know if that’s a good thing, but it’s a start.

“I know I fucked up. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I—” You pause, unsure of what to say next, your chest tightening with the weight of all the things you should have said before. “I care about you, Mattheo. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone.”

He doesn’t speak for a long while, and for a moment, it feels like the world has frozen around you both. But then, slowly, his lips part. His voice is low, almost like it’s coming from somewhere deep inside him, a place he’s been hiding for too long.

“You don’t have to keep apologizing.” His gaze is soft, almost vulnerable, and it shakes you to your core. “You don’t have to say anything you think I want to hear.”

“Then what do you want to hear?” you ask, almost desperately. “Because I don’t know how to fix this.”

“You don’t have to fix it. Just… be here. With me. No more walls.”

Your heart beats faster at his words. It’s not perfect, it’s not the answer you hoped for, but it’s something. Something you can work with.

And when he stands, taking a small step toward you, you feel the knot in your chest loosen just a little bit, so you stand as well. His arms, warm and familiar, slide around your shoulders, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you don’t feel so alone.

“Let’s not do this again,” he murmurs against your hair, pulling you close as you clutch his dress shirt, shutting your eyes tightly.

And you nod, knowing that no matter how long it takes, you’ll keep trying. You’ll keep showing up, even when the storm inside you feels too strong to bear.

For him. For you.

For what you both deserve.

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

google search how do I ask the people that are considered my parents that I really badly need to get antidepressants

[yourneedylilpup]

thinking of having a roommate who loves seeing me walk around in an oversized shirt with no bra and pj shorts that make them question if i’m even wearing anything underneath because of how they’re hidden by the shirt.

i want them to be a little creep who gets off on how trusting i am towards them.

who sneaks into my room when i’m out to steal my panties and use them as a cum rag before putting them back in my closet. knowing i’ll wear them even if i see the stains cause i’ll just assume i ruined them myself and decide they’ll work until i get some new pairs.

who watches me put on lotion after i shower, seeing me rub the white cream into my skin and wishing it was their cum covering me instead, taking my half empty bottle of cream and adding a couple loads of thick cum to it, loving the way i don’t question why the bottle is little fuller now, nearly creaming their pants seeing me cover myself in the cum filled lotion, it’s almost like they’re claiming my body marking it as theirs.

who can’t take it anymore and sneak into my room while i’m asleep, find me sleeping in those ridiculously short pj bottoms, moving them to the side, seeing my pretty pussy presented just for them, getting me nice and wet with their tongue while stretching me out with two fingers, adding a third to make sure i’m nice and prepared, finally getting to fuck me all nice and gentle like a cute princess, so blissed out finally being able to touch me in the the depraved ways they’ve been craving and hearing me make those sweet sleepy moans that bring them so close to the the edge that they don’t notice how rough they’re getting with me, pausing mid thrust when they hear me whisper their name, looking down to see my half awake and unfocused eyes, slowly starting to thrust again while cooing at how cute i am to be having such a depraved dream about my roommate, lulling me back to sleep while still fucking into my wet cunt, cumming harder than they ever have before right into my pussy only to pull out and watch it leak out of my hole, using thier thumb to push it back into my cunt before wiping their hand in my hair and fixing up my shorts, going back to their own room completely spent and ready for sleep.

who wakes up the next morning to see me act like nothing happend and i don’t have dried cum covering my thighs and making my bed head worse.

maybe my lovely roommate will decide to start making nightly visits to my room to test just how oblivious i can be.

[caotictimmy]

I ATE THE WHOLE DAISUKE DATING HC AND I MUST SAY ALL THE BRAINROT THAT HAS BEEN STEWING IN MY MIND!!!

I think he's such a golden retriever bf 😭 like both ways— sfw and nsfw. HES SO DOWN BAD FOR YOU, he loves you so much and fjdkkd if his partner also has physical contact as a primary love language, he would die for headpats. Like genuinely, give this guy headpats be when you two are cuddling or when you are both in an intimate moment. You could reward him with a little patpat on the head when Swansea is not looking, and he would lean in to your touch a little bit before reminding himself, he needs to learn!! he needs to make you proud

NOW NSFW-WISEE.....

Praise kink goes so hard on him is insane

He could be eating you out with sparkles in his eyes, almost like asking if he's doing a good job, and if you do express it, tell him he's such a good boy, how good you are feeling because of HIM, he's going to go harder on you out of pure happiness—hes doing a good job!! you're like this because of his work and that amazes him

i could write more but my mind is a mess and im so sleepy wnwnkd.

🐁 out!!!

🐁 anon I love your thinking please don’t spontaneously combust. BUT IM SO GLAD THE HIM LIKING HIS HAIR/HEAD TOUCHED IS CATCHING ON OMG….

Sfw headcanons/thoughts

- Now that I’m thinking of it. I should have known he’d like head pats. LIKE I ALREADY GOT THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BF VIBE FROM HIM.

- But he definitely loves getting head pats or his hair ruffled! Specifically he really likes it after/is doing something good. Like normal head pats are fine but. Knowing your giving him them because he did something good?!?!

- You guys have definitely gotten called weirdos by Swansea, cause you patted Daisuke’s head. Swansea wont say anything cause this man is emotionally constipated 💔. But he’s glad Daisuke has someone who Daisuke can be his true weird self.

- If your hand is somewhere close to his head, and he wants head pats. Daisuke will head butt his head against your hand to show he wants you to either play with his hair, pat his head, scratch his scalp, etc ect.

- I think like the first time he head butt your hand for attention was when y’all were cuddling. You had your hand by his head. And you weren’t taking hid obvious hints! (Slightly nudging at you). So well he just thunked his head against your hand. Ever since then he keeps doing that when he wants you to play with his hair

NSFW - DO NOT READ IF YOUR A MINOR OR UNCOMFORTABLE WITH NSFW (mostly AFAB some Gn )

- Omg please pull his hair. PLEASE. He loves it so much. Like holy moly. If you pull his hair while he’s deep inside. HES COMING IMMEDIATELY! Like pull just right and omg. It’s like a switch in his brain. And that man is going HARDER AND FASTER. Like I hope to burnt curly Anya can lend you a wheel chair.

- Omg just imagine Daisuke pulling his hair back during sex. OMG MY GYATTTT. Guys I see the light and it’s Daisuke pulling his hair back.

-(AFAB) I just thought of something. GYAHH IMAGINE SEEING DAISUKE TIES HIS HAIR BACK TO EAT YOU OUT(might need to make this into a FIC).I’m Actually foaming at the mouth. Guys wait let me cook.

“wait!”. Daisuke said. Before rolling a hair tie he had on his wrist for working on machines. Biting it as he collects his hair. Tying it up in a ponytail. Before pushing his sleeves up. Daisuke Looks back at You with a smile. “Now I’m ready” he say cheekily.

- Guys someone please draw Daisuke with a sexy man ponytail please I’ll be in debt with you. PLEASE HE’LL LOOK SO HOT JUST TRUST MY VISON!!!!

-(AFAB) Omg and grip his hair while he’s eating you out. Like omg if you’re pulling at his hair moaning. He’s gonna feel so good about himself knowing he’s pleasing you. Also if you ever shoved his face in your cunt while he’s eating you out. You gave yourself a death wish. CAUSE THIS MAN WILL NOT STOP UNTIL YOU HAVE TO PULL HIS HEAD AWAY.

You couldn’t take it anymore. It’s like he couldn’t stop. The pleasure was getting to much. You gripped his hair. Feeling him moan in you. You pull his head back, letting out that breath you didn’t know you were holding in. You could hear him catching his breath before hearing him let out a sad noise. You looked down seeing Daisuke giving you these sad puppy dog eyes. “Did I do something wrong.” He asked, genuinely concerned.

“No no! Just needed-“. You huffed, “need..need a moment.” You said dazed. He paused for a moment. The glimmer in his eyes back with a vengeance. He starts to grin. “Did I..” He started. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, cleaning your slick off around his mouth. “Did I do good?” He asked. Daisuke happily looking up at you waiting for your response. His grin got wider as he felt your hand rub against his head.

Authors note: GYAHH I LOVED THIS REQUEST SMMMM. Like, reblogd, and especially comments are appreciated! This was so fun writing thud.

[mythmerth]

does anyone ever get into a magic reveal wherein Arthur is upset not only about why did you never tell me but also grieving that I was hurting you for so long and never even knew.

Cause I see a lot of complex emotions in Arthur and merlin surrounding various magic reveal scenarios- the betrayal, the love, the sadness of now being trusted by the one you trusted the most, thinking you had someone’s full heart but it turns out you didn’t, the confusion and love lingering behind the anger, but what I don’t see often is Arthur being consumed by the thought that, all this time, he was causing the man he loved so much fear and pain. Yes he wishes that merlin trusted him sooner, but he also realizes that he’s been seen as a weapon by the person he always let his guard down to the most and grieves for merlin that that’s who he was to him. I also think this is why there is no way that Arthur didn’t know how much merlin loved him in the end. he realized he was loved so deeply that even if merlin subconsciously feared him as a weapon and arbiter of death, he stayed with Arthur and cared for him and valued him above any other for no other reason than love.

but seriously could you imagine finding out that someone you share a soul bond with and that you love so deeply and purely fears their life while existing around you? Id be devastated on their behalf, like the last thing I would ever want is for them to fear me but I’d also be in awe that they stayed anyways and I’d do anything I could to ensure they felt safe around me like I do around them. magic reveals can be explored in so many different ways and I would love to see more people flesh out that response

[borathae]

If I Was Your Boyfriend

"If he was your boyfriend, he would give you the actual world. Sadly he is just your best friend with the biggest unrequited crush ever."

Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader

Genre: Unrequited Crush!AU, Idiots in Love!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU, Slice of Life, Fluff, Romance

Warnings: OC is scared of a bug (me fr), he kills it for her, he would do anything for her, yearning, unrequited feelings (? mhhm ?), listen. he may be a lil bit dense when it comes to reading signs jsjjss bless his heart, i need him as my boyfriend, so much tension between them, jsjsjs this is pure torture i want them to kiss!!, brief mention of adult toys, miscommunication because he suuucks at love confessions, protective & slightly jealous!Kook, he is the greenest flag though like seriously, the happiest end hihi, the inspo was seven mv kook, she is shorter than him because i have the hugest size kink with him and this is so self-indulgent <3, once again i need him as my boyfie

Wordcount: 10.5k

a/n: sometimes i have ideas for one specific trope without wanting to write the whole book lmaooo, so enjoy this lil slow burn fluff scenario which is so self-indulgent and fanfiction coded. also, it was inspired by a real life event where i found a bug in my bed and i had to kill it on my own :( i was being very brave about it 😔 ps: this is very unrealistic 'cause like why would you only be best friends with HIM? that wouldn't be an unrequited crush if that was me. happy birthday to kookie 💛

The call comes around two at night. Jungkook picks up with the first ring. He was working out before that.

“Hello? Are you okay?” he asks, resting his head against the edge of the sofa as he is currently sitting on the floor. He was doing sit ups before that, trying his hardest to regulate his sped-up breathing right now.

“Kook, please help me.”

Jungkook sits up straight.

“Where are you? Are you safe?”

“I don’t know. I think it’s following me. I locked it inside my room but I can still hear it.”

“Stay with me, I’m getting dressed”, he says, jumping to his feet to hurry to his front door.

“Please hurry please. I’m so scared.”

“I’m coming, don’t worry. Are you home?”

“Yes. Hurry please.”

“I’m coming, stay strong. Yeah?”

“Yes, thank you”, you say and end the call.

Jungkook curses, shoving the phone into his pants pocket. He puts on his jacket as he runs down the hallway and puts on his beanie once he is inside the elevator. He is restless in the small space, wishing for it to go quicker. It’s too slow.

“Come on, come on”, he stresses it, knowing that it is fruitless.

You are his best friend. Well, at least that is what you would call him. Best friend. Jungkook sees so much more in you. His best friend, his person of trust, his crush. He would never tell you his feelings because he doesn’t want to make it awkward. But if there were no consequences for speaking up, Jungkook would tell you that you are his dream girl. You are funny, sweet, caring, talented, intelligent, wonderful, perfect, amazing, beautiful, pretty, stunning. Yes, Jungkook thinks that you are all of these things and more. When he is close to you, his heart races and he wants to keep looking at your face. When you are sad, he wants to make you happy again and when you smile, he wants to keep it on your face. When you aren’t with him, he misses you and when you are with him, he hopes that time stops passing. You are the person he updates on the most mundane of things and whose text messages always bring a quick flutter to his chest. Your voice is the voice he could listen to for hours and your face is the face he doesn’t get tired of staring at when you and he video chat late night till you and he both run out of things to say. And at the same time, you are the person with whom Jungkook never runs out of things to talk about, if he didn’t have to breathe, he would continue to babble to you until your ears wore off. Jungkook swears that if there were no consequences for his words, he would tell you all of this. 

But alas, there are consequences and so Jungkook is left keeping his true feelings hidden.

The outcome of tonight’s phone call obviously wouldn’t have changed whether or not he had romantic feelings for you. Jungkook loves you as a friend as well. And he will always be there for his friends. Especially when they are clearly scared by something.

Jungkook rings your bell. You open the door as if you were waiting for him, grabbing him by his wrists to drag him inside. Jungkook’s entire body flutters at the feeling of your touch. 

“Finally you are here. Come in quick, please”, you tell him.

You must have been sleeping already. You are in your pyjamas and have no make-up on. Jungkook swears that you have never looked more beautiful before. 

“What happened? Did someone break in?” he asks instead of telling you that you are beautiful.

“Worse.”

“Worse?”

“Kook, there is a huge bug in my room. Please kill it.”

Jungkook stops in his tracks. You call him over for that? You stop when you feel his strength all of a sudden, looking over your shoulder. He has his right brow cocked up.

“What?” you stress.

“You give me a heart attack for that?”

“What? Of course. It’s a bug.”

Jungkook sighs in annoyance, “seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.” You round him to shove him by his back. “Kill it for me, please Kook.”

“Fine, I’ll kill it”, he gives up and groans, letting you shove him to your bedroom. Jungkook would never dare to think this way, but right now he wished that you were shoving him to your room for something else. Nothing dirty of course, just cuddles. Lots of cuddles. He would literally trade both his kidneys so he could hold you in his arms until you fall asleep just once. He would make sure that you were warm and that you felt safe in his embrace. He would kiss your face and tell you sweet nothings like how he thinks of you when he listens to love songs and how he wishes that it was you and he whenever he sees a romantic scene in a movie.

God, Jungkook is so done for. 

“Where is this stupid bug?” he acts annoyed to make the yearning a little easier. It is difficult when you have your hands on his back and they are so, so warm.

“In there.” You open the door carefully and look around. “Follow me”, you say, tiptoeing into your room.

Jungkook follows you, smiling fondly. You are cute when you are acting like this. 

“Where is it?” he asks, trying his hardest not to think about how he wants to snuggle you for being cute.

“I don’t know. It was right there when I last saw it.”

“Maybe it’s already gone.”

“No, it was-” 

The bug flies past you, you scream instantly, jumping at Jungkook for help.

“The bug! Eeeek Kooook! I hate bugs!” you squeak, hiding away in his chest.

Jungkook hopes that you can’t feel his racing pulse, because it is racing. You never touched him like this before, let alone snuggled so close to him. 

Act cool. Act cool. Act cool. 

He wraps one arm around you, patting the back of your head. 

“There, there you big baby”, he teases.

“I hate bugs so much”, you whine, snuggling closer.

He glances down at you, feeling every beat his heart takes.

Act cool! Act cool! Act cool!

What if he wrapped both arms around you? Would that go too far? He wouldn’t mean anything dirty behind it, he just really wants to hug you and feel you melt in his arms.

“Kill it, Kook please”, you whine and move your head so you were looking up at him. Your eyes lock.

Jungkook bites down on his tongue, forgetting to breathe for just a few moments.

ACT COOL! ACT COOL! ACT COOL!

What if he cupped your face right here and now to kiss your nose and cheeks and forehead and chin and lips and eyes? What if he did that?

“Please kill it.”

“I am, you gotta let go for that”, he gets out, surprised at how normal his voice sounds eventhough he is currently losing his mind.

Please don’t let go. Please don’t let go. 

You let go. Disappointment from his side. You hide behind him and grab his waist for moral support. Butterflies in his tummy, his knees buckle a little. Holy moly. Holy moly. Wow. Oh wow oh wow oh wow. 

“You’re seriously so brave for this”, you tell him.

“Yeah, yeah or maybe you’re just a scaredy cat.”

He has no idea how he is able to talk properly right now when you have him literally messed up. 

Jungkook inches close to where the bug is sitting on the wall while his thoughts and heart are racing. He has to act nonchalant about the situation. You are only holding him like this because you are scared.

“Do you have a shoe?” he asks you, hating his hand for shaking when he presents it to you.

You bend down and take off your right slipper, “will this do?” 

“Perfect.” 

Jungkook takes the slipper and carefully moves closer to the bug. Your fingers tighten on his waist.

“Careful now”, you comment.

“I am” he gets out, concentrating vigorously. He can’t mess up now, you are counting on him. 

“Almost there. Almost there”, you cheer him on.

Jungkook slams the shoe down. The bug has no chance of escape. You scream.

“Gotcha.”

“Did you get it? Is it dead? Kook, is it dead?”

Jungkook lifts the slipper and looks at the squished bug on its sole. He shows it to you.

“Dead.”

“Yay, it’s dead. Ew how nasty, you can see the intestines.”

“Right. Give me a minute, I’m cleaning it.”

“Use acid for it. Just to be sure it doesn’t come back.

He chuckles, “sure, I’ll use acid.”

He leaves you in your bedroom to hurry to the bathroom. 

Your apartment is familiar to him. He spends a lot of time here. Mostly to chill on your couch and watch shows with you. Sometimes you also cook dinner together and then eat it by the table, while other times you do a workout together. Seriously, you are his fucking dream girl. 

One time as you and he were cooking together, he needed something from the shelf above you, but you couldn’t step away from the stove. So he got it while you were right in front of him and his chest brushed against your back and he swears that he heard your breath hitch for a moment. Jungkook wanted to hug you back then. When you later that evening turned to let him taste the cooking only to use the same fork to taste it yourself, Jungkook almost kissed you. 

One time when you were watching a show, you got cold hands and Jungkook offered to warm them for you. He didn’t think you would accept, but you did and so he ended up with your cold hands under his hoodie as you warmed them up on his skin. Jungkook swears that he wanted to pin you against the sofa and kiss your cute face back then.

One time when you were doing a workout together, you struggled with a movement and asked him for help. He ended up having to hold you by your hips as he guided you through the movement. He wanted to flip you and kiss you senseless back then. 

He never felt like this before. He was scared of these feelings at first, but now he can’t get enough. You are a foodie, a romance lover and a lover for couple workouts and it’s so impossible for him not to be in love. You are seriously his dream girl. There is no fucking way around this.

Jungkook knows that tonight will be such a memory as well. the kind of memory which tingles, but which also makes him regret that he didn’t act differently. When you cuddled into him, he wanted to hug you properly. When you grabbed his waist he wanted to turn in your grasp and kiss you against the door. But he knows that he can’t. He would ruin what you are having and he could never get over this heartbreak.

Jungkook looks at your toothbrush as he cleans the shoe. Sometimes he thinks about how it would feel to be represented in your bathroom as the second toothbrush right next to yours.  

Jungkook bites down on his tongue, burning holes into the empty space next to your toothbrush. He would put so much effort into taking care of himself so you could always look at the best version of him. He would do skincare nights with you. He would try out hair masks with you and rub body lotion on the spots you can’t reach. He would brush his teeth, floss them and use mouthwash religiously just so his kisses would always taste good. He would do all of this if it meant you had an attractive boyfriend.

Jungkook looks away. He is doing it again, he is getting delusional. He shouldn’t do that. It isn’t his right. 

He turns off the water and leaves the bathroom so he could return the slipper to you.

You are in the kitchen, looking at him instantly.

“Is it gone?” you ask him.

“Yup, it’s gone. Your slipper.”

“Thank you seriously. You just saved my life”, you say and lift a bottle of his favorite beer. “Thank You Beer?”

He shakes his head, “I need to drive.”

“Okay. Then a Thank You Water?”

“Yeah, I can drink that.”

Jungkook accepts the offer because he can stay with you longer that way.

“Coming right up. Get comfy in the meantime.”

Jungkook waits on the sofa, but stands up when you come inside the room. He accepts the water and sits back down. You plop down right in front of him, pulling your legs onto the pillow. Your knees are almost touching the side of thigh.

“You seriously saved my ass tonight. I was already in bed when I felt something tickle my arm and then I turned on the lights and it was right on my arm. I screamed so loud, you have no idea.”

“That sounds traumatic.”

“It was traumatic.” You shudder. “I hate bugs.”

Jungkook laughs softly.

“What? Are you laughing at me?”

“No, just laughing ‘cause I agree. You really hate bugs.”

“I do. Awful things, seriously.”

He laughs and you laugh as well. Your eyes meet again. He takes a sip of his water then asks a question which scares him a little.

“Why did you call me?”

“Why not?”

“I, I mean”, he stutters, feeling his heart do somersaults.

“You were my first thought. It’s probably because you’re always keeping me safe.”

Jungkook swears he wants to kiss you right now. He is the first person you think of when you need help. He is your safe person. Wow, wow, wow.

“Is that weird to say?” you ask him shyly.

“Not at all”, he gets out in a terribly hoarse voice.

“Okay phew. I knew that I could count on you.”

Jungkook gives you a smile. One you retort with a vast glance at his lips.

Jungkook brings the empty glass to the kitchen to clean it after he finishes it. You follow him. 

“You don’t have to clean that”, you tell him, trying to reach for the glass but he moves it away.

“I got it”, he assures you, looking at you over his arm.

You and he are so close again. He can’t stop looking into your eyes. He knows that he is delusional, but in his mind, your eyes are so bright when you look at him. But it’s not real and he is acting stupid when he is staring like that. He turns his head away, blind to the few more seconds your eyes seem to linger on his face.

“What were you doing when I called you?” you ask him, watching his hands as he washes the glass.

“Working out.”

“Really? At this time?”

“That’s when I get energised.”

“Of course you do. What were you doing?”

“Just stuff on the floor.”

“Nice. Like push ups and stuff?”

“Yeah and sit ups.”

“That’s cool.” 

He has his back turned to you, putting away the glass. He is wearing a white oversized shirt, but the movement makes it stick to his body, showing not only his skinny waist but also his built, muscular back. His shoulders grew so much over the past seven months. (Seven months ago was when you decided to download a dating app and told Jungkook about it. Jungkook started working out harder since then.) 

He closes the cupboard and turns. 

“Something wrong?” he asks, somehow oblivious to your stares. 

“Nothing, no uhm.” You look to the side. “You probably wanna leave now?”

He doesn’t want to leave.

“If you still need me here, I can stay”, he offers.

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.

“Really?”

He nods his head, giving you a sweet smile with teeth. He would do anything for you, even mess up his sleep schedule.

“Maybe there is another bug, you know?” you say, playing with your own fingers shyly.

His heart is jumping in joy. He can stay longer. 

“That could be possible, yeah. Should we check?” he offers as calmly as possible.

“Yeah, please.”

Yay! Yay! Yay!

“I know I sound so stupid.”

“You don’t. Come on, I’ll check.”

You and he go to your bedroom together. Jungkook wants to hold your hand, but knows that he can’t. You close the door to your bedroom. His pulse flutters for a moment. In another lifetime, this would be the moment you pull him into a kiss. But Jungkook knows that stupid things like different lifetimes are stuff of movies, not reality.

He has to act as your best friend who doesn’t have a crush on you if he wanted to or not. He lifts your blanket and shakes it out.

“No bugs”, he comments.

“That’s good, yeah. I should probably check the pillows.”

You crawl onto bed and make it your job to flip each individual pillow. Jungkook looks at you for a moment. He hates that things like different lifetimes are stuff of movies. Because in a different lifetime, he jumps onto bed with you to hug you. He listens to your giggle and makes you giggle even harder by tickling your sides.

You, oblivious to his longing stares, flip yet another pillow. 

“No bugs here, thank god. I probably sound insane to you, but I’m actually so scared that there’s a whole bug family in this room.”

“You don’t sound insane. I’ll take care of them if we find them.”

“You’re seriously my hero.”

Jungkook is thinking. Maybe he could still make you laugh, he thinks. Not by showering you in skinship, but differently. 

“Hey, check this out”, he says.

“What? Did you find another bug?!” you gasp, whipping around instantly.

“I’m a bug. Bzzz”, he says and jumps onto bed, flapping his arms as if he was a bug flying.

You cough out air, following it up with a loud laugh.

Jungkook flops onto his back and wiggles his limps.

“Now I’m flipped onto my back and can’t get up”, he says, squirming from side to side stupidly. “Help me. Bzzzz.”

You laugh to the point it becomes just a little ugly and way too loud. At least you would call it that. Jungkook calls it the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. He loves to be goofy when it means that he can make you laugh. Some people call him childish and tell him to act his age, but Jungkook doesn’t care about these people because you love the way he is. You always smile and laugh so much when he gets goofy and childish and it is so worth every rude comment he gets. One time, he played around with a snapback hat, acting silly with it until you cackled loudly. Another time he showed you a card trick with goofy sound effects, basking in the giggles you gave him. He knows that he looks stupid in these moments, but he would literally turn into a silly jester if it meant that you could laugh just one more time.

“Help me, I’m a bug and I can’t get up”, he whines dramatically.

“Wait, I’ll help you”, you joke and place your hands on his torso. One on his chest, the other on his stomach.

He tenses up like a board of wood, forgetting all about being silly. His limbs drop, as does his heart. You are touching him! This never happened before when he acted goofy. What should he do? What is the correct reaction to this?

“Why are you such a heavy bug? I can’t flip you”, you are still being playful with him, but Jungkook can’t find humour anymore. He is starstruck. 

He chuckles deeply, letting out a breathy, “yeah.” 

You glance at him. The second your eyes meet, his heart is racing. You are so fucking beautiful. 

“Heh”, he lets out and places his hand over yours, eyes flitting to your lips unknowingly.

“Hm”, you let out, studying his gazing eyes. Your lips feel kissed just from his look. 

“Mhm”, he hums and smiles, shimmying his head just a little closer to you. He feels your minty breath swirl over his face like this, squeezing your hand in reaction. What if he just did it? What if he just kissed you right here and now?

Your smile falls.

“Sorry”, you whisper, pulling your hands back and sitting up. 

Jungkook gasps for air, coming back to reality. What was this moment? Is he going crazy? Why would he do that?

Your eyes meet for a brief second then you look away again, rubbing the side of your neck.

Jungkook sits up, “I should, uhm, probably check under the bed too, right?” he tries to change topics and rolls over to stick his head under the bed. He might die of heart palpitations.

There are a few boxes under the bed, some shoe boxes and an exposed adult toy. Jungkook does a double take. Oh god, panic.

Jungkook shoots back up, staring at you with big eyes.

“What?”

“You uhm…”

“What?” You crawl to the edge and bend down to look, shooting up again within a second, “What did you see??”

His entire face flushes, he looks to the side instantly, right hand coming to rub the side of his neck. Your entire face feels on fire, you want to die on the spot.

“I, I didn’t see anything I swear”, he stutters.

“Kook, please don’t remember this”, you insist, shaking him by his shoulders.

“It’s seriously fine”, he assures you, panicking so so much.

“This is so embarrassing.”

“No, it’s okay. Sorry for invading your space like that.”

“I’m actually gonna cry, please don’t remember this”, you beg him.

“I didn’t even see anything”, he lies, feeling his heart give up. For real, it will give up. He feels so guilty. You are so upset and uncomfortable and it’s all his fault. “I’m sorry.”

“No you, I guess, I don’t know, I just”, you stutter, unable to form any coherent sentences.

Jungkook feels just as awkward as you, suddenly needing to stand up.

“I think I should go”, he says.

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s getting late.”

“Oh, yeah. Totally.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. You fucked it. You are internally panicking, blind to the fact that Jungkook is panicking as well.

His face is so red and it’s making him scared that you can see it. He doesn’t want you to think that he is imagining you like that, because he really isn’t. But for just a second it crossed his mind and it managed to dye his face so red that he feels like crying. Of course he wants to stay with you. Of course he wants to spend every single second of this night with you, talking and laughing and looking at you, but he might not be able to get rid of this blush right now. He needs to leave.

You follow behind him, panicking more and more. You let him put on his shoes and his beanie, you watch him close his jacket unable to say anything. You swear that you always clean up after yourself, but you were busy this morning and forgot to put it away after sanitizing it. Jungkook was never supposed to see it. Not him. Everyone but him.

“I’ll text you once I’m home”, Jungkook tells you.

“You’re not disgusted now, are you?” you finally get the scary words out.

“What?”

You are both dragging out the inevitable. 

“I don’t know, just…I tried the dating app stuff. I met people, you know?”

Jungkook feels like dying when you talk about this stuff. He stands in the apartment complex hallways, looking at you as you tell him about your hook ups and he wants to fucking die as he does. He has been loyal to you ever since he started this stupid crush on you. Of course he knows that it is impossible of him to expect the same from you. But he has been so fucking loyal to you that you literally broke his heart seven months ago when you told him about your newest download. He wasn’t strong enough to get over his crush, so now he dies all over again each time you tell him about your hook-ups.

“And it just felt weird. I couldn’t do it”, you confess.

“Really?” suddenly what happened before is wiped from his mind. You never went through with it? His loyalty was reciprocated? Jungkook knows that he is being so delusional right now and yet he still hangs on to your every word like a worshipper of your syllables, staring at your lips as you talk.

“Yeah, but I still have needs, you know? Oh god, why did I say that? This didn’t make it better. Just forget I ever said anything.”

“I, I didn’t hear anything”, Jungkook stutters, feeling weak-kneed. The wall between him being a good person and a reckless person is as fragile as a sheet of fresh ice. One wrong step from you and he might actually confess how he really feels.

“Okay good, let’s keep it at that.” You push at his chest. Jungkook swears he actually whimpers as you do it. “Go home and let us forget about all of this, please.”

Should he do it? Should he be reckless?

You step back, now standing in your apartment.

Do it! Open, mouth!

“Text me once you’re home, okay?”

“Okay.”

No! This isn’t the right thing to say! Be reckless!

“Thank you for tonight, sleep tight.”

“Sweet dreams.”

Tell her! Fucking tell her!

The door closes.

Jungkook falls out of his fearful trance, gasping for air. His heart tells him to knock for another chance, his mind tells him not to. He turns and leaves, hitting his own head as punishment for being the most stupid person that ever existed. Tonight could have gone so well. He could have had more time with you, he got the confirmation that you never tried the dating app thing, he had everything and he has to ruin it by being a creep. Why did he look under your bed? That’s where most people store their sexy stuff. Why did he have to make you uncomfortable? What if you never want to see him again? What if he ruined your friendship without ever doing the one thing he always wished to ruin it with? In his dreams he always ruined it by confessing his feelings, but his reality was because he was a creep.

Jungkook cries in his car on his way home. He forgets about texting you and spends a sleepless night regretting his choices.

Maybe he did fall asleep, otherwise it would be impossible for his phone to rip him awake the next day. He barely opens his puffy eyes at first, but opens them widely when he sees that it is you calling him.

“Hello?” he picks up hastily.

“Oh thank god. You didn’t text me last night and I was worried.”

The text! Jungkook slaps his own forehead, sitting up straight.

“I’m so sorry, I…”

“It’s okay, I already had a gist that you forgot”, you assure him, “do you have time?” 

“Of course, what’s up?”

“You know, uhm.” You laugh in embarrassment. “Last night was a mess, wasn’t it?”

“No uhm, it’s fine.”

“You wouldn’t be down for a grocery trip with barbeque and beer afterwards, would you? My treat, as an apology for traumatising you.”

“Of course, I would. Today?”

“Yes, in like two hours? I’ll get off work soon and could go straight to the store.”

You and Jungkook often go grocery shopping together. You already have a favourite store to go to. Jungkook loves these moments. He loves to carry the heavy bags for you and get the stuff you can’t reach. He loves to push the cart while you tell him about your day and then load the groceries into the bags with you. In another lifetime, you and he push the cart together and he steals kisses between aisles. In another lifetime, he holds your hand and the bags in the other. And in another lifetime, you and he go to your apartment to cook dinner for date night on the couch. Jungkook really wishes to live a different life sometimes.

“Two hours sounds great”, he agrees in a cool voice even if he wants to squeal. He gets to go grocery shopping with you! How amazing!

“Nice, then we’ll see each other there.”

“Yes, we’ll see each other. I’m really excited for it.”

“Me too. See you later, yeah? My boss is coming back.”

“See you later. Good luck at work.” 

“Thanks, Kook. Bye bye.”

Goodbye, my everything, my dream girl, my love. He thinks.

“Bye.” He says.

The phone call ends. Jungkook drops back into the pillow and lets out a yelp of celebration, following it up with excessive kicking and punching of the air as well as  squeaky giggles. 

He didn’t ruin everything and he will see you in two hours. Today is the best day of his life! But wait! Jungkook gasps and jumps out of bed.

“I need to get ready! Shower and wash my hair and pick an outfit! And do my skincare and brush my teeth! There is so much to do, oh god” he talks to himself, running through his apartment.

You are pacing in front of the store. Jungkook isn’t late, you are just early. Early enough to become painfully aware of your nervousness. You wonder how it will be between the two of you after last night. You could barely fall asleep because you were so embarrassed. Work didn’t distract you either, your thoughts kept repeating what had happened last night. You hope that he doesn’t look at you differently after what he had to see. It would literally ruin you.

Jungkook is your best friend. But if someone asked you honestly, you would say that he is the boy of your dreams. He is everything you ever dreamed of and everything you will never be able to have. He is too perfect for you. If there were no consequences for your actions, you would tell him how you really feel. You would tell him that you think that he is the most attractive man and person you have ever seen, that he is the kindest soul with the sweetest heart. That he is talented and amazing and the funniest person ever. And that you feel safe with him. 

You would tell him that every time he comes to your place or you to his’ and you spend time together, you wish that it was a date instead. You want to tell him that every time your bodies touch, your heart jumps out of your chest. You want to tell him that you keep repeating all the moments with him over and over again and that sometimes at work, you text him because you can’t stop thinking about him. You also want to tell him that you thought about killing the bug yourself before deciding to call Jungkook just to have him close.

And the worst of it all? You want to tell Jungkook that the only reason why you downloaded the dating app was to get over your feelings for him because you knew that someone as perfect as Jungkook would never want to have you. But actions have consequences and so you call him your best friend whilst secretly wishing for him to just be reckless and kiss you.

Jungkook appears on the horizon, swerving through the crowd in a stoic expression. Your heart speeds up instantly. He is wearing black pants with a stripped shirt and a black jacket today. His hair falls on soft waves, his skin glows in the sun. He is so dreamy and handsome. 

His eyes find you in front of the store, his face lights up and he lifts his arm to wave at you. You wave back, bouncing on your tiptoes. He saw you! He is waving at you! 

He hurries through the crowd faster than before, reaching you within moments.

“Hey there”, he says.

“Hey”, you tell him and give him a hug. 

Jungkook short circuits. He gets no time to react before you already step back again. You just hugged him. Holy moly, wow. 

“Sorry, was that not okay?” you ask, studying his frozen features.

“What?” He flinches back to life. “No, it was amazing, I mean, it was okay. I uhm, I have this for you.”

He lifts a bouquet of sunflowers.

“Sunflowers? For me?”

“Yeah, I saw them and thought of you.”

“You did?”

You accept them with shortened breath and a quickened heart. You are currently screeching inside. You feel on cloud nine.

“A-as a best friend of course, because we’re best friends.”

“Oh. Yes.” You clear your throat. “We are. Thank you for the friendship flowers. I’ll put them in water once I’m home. Hopefully they’ll survive till then.” 

“I’m sure they will. That’s why I put the paper towel there.”

“I know, I saw. That’s so clever.”

“Yeah, thanks.” He does a little twirl so he stands next to you, hands stuffed into the pockets of his pants in a cute way. “So what do we need? Any particular groceries in mind?” 

You and he start walking to the store. He opens the door for you, holding it until you are inside. He follows and goes straight for the carts. You are next to him.

“Yes, I’m out of multigrain rice so I’m buying all of them to make my mixture again and I wanna stock up on udon because they have a sale going on.”

“Neat, a sale. I’ll get some too”, Jungkook says, leaning his elbows on the cart as he pushes it. “I wanna see if they have the lychees again. They were so yummy last time.”

“They were. Especially with that sauce you made.”

“I can make them for you again.”

“Really?” 

He nods his head, “sure, you could come over Saturday and we’ll watch a movie. I heard that there’s a few new movies to stream.”

“I should be free on Saturday.”

“Nice, then you’ll come over.”

You and he exchange a look, breaking it quickly to look at opposite sides. Unbeknownst to either, you are both panicking. Jungkook is so excited to have you come over but is also terribly nervous about the aspect of it. You can’t wait to visit Jungkook but are also scared of the yearning. 

A moment of silence where you each fill the cart with stuff you want. You and Jungkook always fill up the cart together and then separate the groceries afterwards. In another lifetime, you don’t need to separate the groceries. In another lifetime, you share the same bag and fill the same fridge to cook from the same pots and eat on your shared couch whilst a show was running. 

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks because other lifetimes don’t exist and in his real life, the only shared thing he gets with you is time.

“It was okay. Yours?”

“I woke up like two hours ago.”

You chuckle, “of course you sleep while I have to work my ass off.”

“Hey, I’m on a well-deserved break, I earned the night owl lifestyle”, he throws back, making you laugh with it.

“I’m not saying anything against it. I need a break soon.”

“Is work stressful?”

“Yeah, quite. There’s been lots of new projects coming in.”

“No, I’m sorry. If there is something I can do, let me know.”

You look at him. 

“I will, thank you.”

In another lifetime, you would hug his arm and rest your head against it and you would tell him that you don’t mind a stressful workday when it meant spending time with him afterwards. 

Jungkook meets your eyes. His heart flutters nervously, speeding up more when you look away. If he was your boyfriend, he would hold your hand and tell you that you looked beautiful after a long work day. 

“I like the way you did your hair today”, he says instinctively. He has no idea why he said that because he never says stuff like that to you. He panics because of it. His tongue worked quicker than his brain. 

You reach up to feel your hair, “you do?”

“Yes, it fits you really well.” 

“Thank you”, you murmur and cross a corner without warning, leaving him alone for a few seconds.

Jungkook follows after you hastily, confused as to why you so abruptly fled. Oh no. He went too far with the compliment. He definitely creeped you out again. 

You are squatting down in front of the grain section, reading the labels carefully. Jungkook parks the cart next to you, standing still. He tries not to, but still looks at you. You shift your eyes to him, widen them and look away again. Jungkook swears he might cry. He made you uncomfortable. 

“I’m sorry for saying that. I, I meant it as a friend.”

“Hm? Ah, it’s okay. Thank you for saying it, I liked it”, you say and stand up, filling the cart with the grain. Jungkook’s heart flutters happily. He didn’t mess up. Yay!

“Got everything you wanted?” he asks.

“Yep, except black rice. Do you see it somewhere?”

“Up there”, Jungkook says, pointing at it. The lower racks are empty, only the racks which are clearly for staff to reach so they could refill the store are stacked with the rice. 

“Nice.” You try to reach it, but fail. “Kook, can you get it?”

“Sure, let me”, he says, stepping right behind you to get the rice from the staff rack. His chest brushes against your back. You gasp. He feels dizzy, but acts nonchalant.

“There we go your….rice”, Jungkook says, eyes flitting down to you looking up at him. He didn’t even realise that you turned. 

There is almost no distance and so Jungkook tries to step back to be respectful because friends don’t stand this close. You grab him by his jacket, making him gulp and panic greatly. His left hand grabs the edge of the shelf, his chest lifts in a deep gasp. You are taller today because of the shoes you are wearing. The shortened distance between your lips is making him dizzy.

“About last night”, you begin, but he interrupts you before you apologise for something you have no reason to.

“It’s alright. I shouldn’t have snooped, I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t snoop, I just…I clean up, I was just busy and forgot and I”, you exhales deeply, “I’m not making it any better talking by about it, am I?”

He laughs softly and reaches down to cup your hand, caressing your knuckles softly. The lines blur more and more. You both feel weightless. You can smell his cologne like this, he can smell your perfume. It’s like you are high on each other.

“If it makes you feel any better, I have some toys too”, he says, making your eyes widen. You look to the side and let out a giggle. Jungkook knows that it is of shy nature and so he giggles with you. “Did that help or did I just embarrass myself for nothing?”

“No, it helped.” You meet his eyes, fingers squeezing his jacket. 

Jungkook holds his breath, fingers tightening on the shelf. He is being so greedy. It’s so unfair to you. 

“I, uhm.” He clears his throat and slips his hand from the shelf to present the rice to you. “Your rice.”

“Oh? Thanks, uhm, put it in the cart.” 

He steps back. Your hands slip from his jacket, his fingers stop holding you. They tingle in the memory of how it was to cradle you this way. His thoughts are racing, trying to calculate the weight of his confession. If he confessed, what would he lose? Your friendship, your time, the movie hangouts, the cooking together, the shared workouts, your texts and calls and video chats. All your laughter and smiles and giggles. Jungkook gulps. The loss is too great. He can’t confess. Nope, never. 

He grips the cart and pushes it, hoping that walking it off will help with the heart palpitations. You walk next to him, resting your hand on the metal cage part of the cart.

“Did you sleep well last night?” he asks you.

“Can I be honest? Not really. I was so embarrassed.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m just awkward.”

He chuckles, you chuckle with him. You give him a glance.

“I think I don’t have to ask you if you slept well at night because you never sleep at night.”

He laughs, you do as well.

“That’s not true. I can sleep at night too, I simply choose not to. Oh wait. I need buckwheat noodles.”

You and he stop in front of the section. You stay by the cart while Jungkook browses the options. 

“Should I make you makguksu?” he offers mindlessly.

“Today?”

“Yeah.”

“So you don’t wanna go for barbecue and beer?” You chuckle and nudge his arm, sending tingles all over his skin. “Did you already forget again, you doofus?”

“I might have.” He gives you a sorry, cute smile.

Jungkook makes you laugh with it.

“Kook, you little scatterbrain you”, you chuckle, leaning into him. 

Jungkook leans closer, placing his arm around your waist without touching you. In another lifetime, he would close the last distance. But not in reality. He looks at your lips, asking himself why you seek him out today and why he takes the chances so greedily. He shouldn’t do that. You are just friends, nothing more.

“Uh, sorry”, you say and step away again. 

Jungkook gulps, gasps for air. He doesn’t understand what today means, but whatever you are doing is actually messing with him. He hasn’t been able to breathe properly ever since that hug you gave him. You seem so clingy, but he doesn’t understand why. 

You grab the cart and push it.

“I think I have everything I need. You?”

“Yeah, yeah sure”, Jungkook stutters, stumbling after you like a lovesick puppy. He doesn’t know where to put his hands and so he ends up stuffing them into his pants pockets while his eyes are glued to the back of your head. He is seriously under your spell. Every part of him.

You load the groceries on the conveyor belt together and then load them into separate bags. You pay for all of them and wish the cashier a good day. Jungkook carries the bags like always, while you are allowed to walk freely with the bouquet of flowers cradled in your arms.

“I’ll pay you back at home”, he says, swerving outside as you hold the door open for him.

“Today’s on me. As a thank you for yesterday and an apology.”

“What? But I bought so much”, Jungkook gasps, pouting sadly.

“It’s fine. I have money.”

“But-”

“No buts. I’m paying.”

Jungkook pouts, huffing out air in defeat.

“Fine, but I’ll pay for your stuff too one day.”

You chuckle, “deal.” 

You and he walk together.

“You should really start accepting when I offer. It’s not a competition.”

“I just feel uncomfortable making you pay.”

“Why?”

Because you’re his dream girl and you should never have to pay for him. He should be your wallet whenever you are out together, he should fulfil your every wish. 

“I don’t know, just so. You work so hard for your money.”

“You work just as hard”, you say and chuckle. “Kook, you’re so competitive.”

Jungkook smiles, shaking his head in defeat. 

“I guess am.”

You grin, hugging the flowers tighter. With a little skip in your steps, you close the distance. Just enough that one small movement would be enough for your arms to brush. 

Jungkook glances at you. You are gazing at the flowers, smiling so brightly that your nose scrunches up. He could swear that your eyes are sparkling. 

The lines blur again. He wonders if it would be okay for him to be a bad person, if he was allowed to slip his hand into yours even if you never gave him consent for it. There is not much he can still take.

You lower your nose into the flowers and smell them, closing your eyes in a happy squint. The metaphorical glass of how much Jungkook can take floats over.

He says your name and knows that the next words are coming out of him before he can think them through.

“Yeah?” You look at him.

He is nervous and scared, but still talks, “can we talk about something?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

Panic. His situation finally sunk into his consciousness. 

“I uhm…uh…I have a crush on someone.”

Microexpressions wash over your face. Shock, surprise, disbelief, jealousy, hurt, friendliness. A smile curls your lips. It doesn’t reach your eyes.

“Yeah? It’s about time you do”, the words and your voice carry a hint of teasing, but most of all forced friendliness.

You lower the flowers, carrying them in one hand by your side. They look sad like this. Jungkook doesn’t notice because he is staring at the road in front of him because otherwise he would pass out in nervousness. He is almost twenty seven, but feels sixteen again.

“She’s like really, really great and awesome and amazing and wonderful and so kind and perfect”, Jungkook continues, heart racing to the point he feels dizzy. He saw this kind of confession in movies. He always thought that it was so cute when the guy did it. It isn’t obvious enough to ruin everything just in case you didn’t feel the same, but it is still cute enough that you can’t help but be giddy.

“Mh-hm”, you hum, nodding your head. 

“And I keep thinking about her. She is so pretty when she laughs and I love being in her presence. She likes my jokes and she always makes me laugh in return. Yeah…”

“That’s great.”

“Yeah, she is so great. I really wanna ask if she feels the same.” Jungkook falters in nervousness. He is going to ask the question. He is so scared. “If you were me, what would you do?”

You take a deep breath and release it loudly, “I don’t know. I haven’t had a crush in so long.”

Jungkook falters, heart tightening. Oh no. Oh no, oh no. Oh. This is bad. This is really bad. 

“Ah, I see.” He gulps.

“But let me know if you figure it out. Then we can go on a double date.” 

Wait. Wait. This is bad. Double date? This is so bad.

“What do you mean?” he asks weakly.

“You know, you and your girl and me and my boy.”

“You have a boy?”

“Yeah, soon. I’m talking to this boy on the dating app. He is very cute.”

“But…didn’t you say that you gave up on the app?”

“No uh…no, it’s just that I only talk to this one boy now.”

Jungkook bites back tears.

“I see.” 

“Mhm, yeah. Let’s go on a double date.”

No. No this is all wrong. No this isn’t what was meant to happen. No. 

“Please.”

Jungkook doesn’t even realize that he begged out loud until you look at him in question.

“Please what?”

You and he stop. Strangers stream past you like you and he were two rocks in a river. You are facing each other, so close yet so far away. 

You lied to him. There is no other boy. There never was and never will be. But there will always be other girls for him while you stay his best friend. Lying is all that you have at this point. 

“Please what?” you repeat the question.

“I…” Jungkook breathes. “I…nevermind.”

Silence. Your eyes are locked so deeply that the world around you is blurry.

“Okay?”

“Mhm yeah.”

His jaw tightens and he breaks the eye contact, looking to the side with his tongue in his cheek. He seemed angry. You would be lying if you said that you weren’t feeling angry yourself. You turn away from him and continue walking. You don’t want to be next to him right now. It hurts to only stay his best friend.

He looks at the back of your head and how it becomes smaller and smaller from distance. He doesn’t understand you. He thought that the way you looked at him in the store meant something. And yet all this time you had another boy. He feels so betrayed that for just a second, he considers walking the other direction and leaving you to wonder where he went. However, two things hold him back; his competitiveness and his honest feelings for you.

He won’t stay your best friend any longer. He just decided that. He is going to fight for you, make you fall for him and forget all about the stupid boys you meet on this stupid dating app. He is better than any of them. He could treat you better, make you laugh harder, give you better hugs and kisses and provide you with afterglow so addicting you will get hot cheeks at work just thinking about it. He is your best friend, goddamn it, and he knows you better than any of these strangers ever will. And he is not going to lose you to some boy.

He jogs to catch up with you, calling your name with a certain harshness.

You turn. Your eyes meet. Jungkook’s brain short circuits.

“What?” you ask him, sounding small because of being called so harshly.

“I, I was just wondering, uhm, should we get ice cream after?” he asks because he panicked.

You shrug your shoulders, “I guess.”

“It’s on me, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Jungkook inches closer, saying your name softly.

“What do you want?”

“I messed up before.”

“What do you mean?”

“I, I just. I thought that I was doing a good job, but I think I made you think something else.”

“Jungkook. I had a long day, please don’t talk in riddles.”

“Don’t date other boys.”

“Excuse me?”

Jungkook gulps, panicking because of your offended and harsh tone.

“I, I, I just”, he stutters, widening his eyes.

“No. What do you mean? I can date who I want.”

“I know, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that, oh god, I meant that I don’t want you to see other boys.”

“Huh?”

“Ah no, wait.”  He slaps his own forehead. “Wait.”

You cross your arms in front of your chest, “what makes you think that you can tell me what I can or can’t do?”

“No I didn’t mean it like that. Wait just give me a moment, please I’m panicking.”

You purse your lips, studying his face intensely.

“Are you also so nervous?” he asks.

“What’s with you all of a sudden?” you ask him, honestly worried. His face is as red as ripe strawberries.

Jungkook closes the distance and takes your hands, eliciting a gasp from you. He squeezes them gently, staring into your eyes as deeply as possible.

“This wasn’t how I always imagined this to go, but I can’t stay quiet anymore. ___, the girl I have a crush on is-”

“Seriously?”

You and Jungkook turn around at the angry voice next to you.  

“Suho? What are you doing here?” you ask.

“Who’s that?” Jungkook says.

“Kim Suho. I met him on the dating app. We went on like one date a month ago”, you explain and slip your hands out of Jungkook’s hold to turn to the other guy, “what are you doing here?”

Jungkook stares at him darkly, clenching his jaw. You told him about this dude in passing. He hates him so much, hating him even more now that he interrupted this moment.

“That’s what you’re going with? Seriously?” Suho throws back.

“Yeah, you-”

“What the fuck are you doing with him? I told you to stop being friends with him, didn’t I?”

Jungkook looks at you with big eyes. You never told him that. You always said that you lost interest in Suho because of different hobbies, but never mentioned that he could have been the actual reason.

“And I told you that you can’t tell me what to do. Jungkook is my best friend and I won’t give him up for a man.”

“Yes but I wasn’t any man, I was your man.”

“Huh? No you weren’t. We went on one date and you totally lost it when I told you that I had a male best friend.”

“Because he isn’t just your friend. You’re in love with him.”

Jungkook swears that he passes out standing up for a second. Feelings? You have feelings for him? Did you tell Suho that or is he assuming because he is one of those weird men that think women aren’t allowed to have male friends? What does all of this mean?

“What?” You laugh nervously. “No? Of course not.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous. I followed you from work and through the store. I saw everything.”

“Huh? What?” you gasp, hurrying to Jungkook instinctively because you know that he will keep you safe.

“Dude, what the fuck? You creep, stay away from her”, Jungkook says harshly and steps in front of you, feeling the fire of protectiveness start to burn in his chest.

“I saw what I saw. You have feelings for each other”, Suho says, pointing an accusing finger at you and Jungkook.

Jungkook and you exchange a look. 

“No I…”

Suho scoffs and looks at Jungkook.

“And you? Gonna fucking pretend that you’re just friends or should I start punching you?”

“Dude, I’ve never even met you”, Jungkook defends himself, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“I’ll still fucking punch you.”

“Don’t you dare”, you hiss at him.

“Shut up, ___.”

“Hey, don’t talk to her like that”, Jungkook speaks up loudly, making himself bigger. He doesn’t care when people are aggressive to him, but he cannot accept aggression towards you.

“Or what?”

“You wanna find out? Don’t talk to her like that.”

Suho rushes to Jungkook and pushes at his chest. He thought that he could move him, but he can’t. Jungkook just gawks at him in utter surprise.

“What are you doing?” he asks confused.

“Why aren’t you budging? Fall over you idiot”, Suho growls and tries again with all his might. 

Jungkook takes a small step back but then stays unmoving. 

“Dude, seriously. What are you doing?”

Suho growls and punches Jungkook. Except that he is so bad at it that Jungkook can easily dodge him. He reacts calmly to the aggression, redirecting Suho by turning him and giving him a gentle push away from him.

Suho stumbles and whips around.

“You-”

Jungkook steps closer, “give it up, man.”

Suho shifts his attention to you, pointing his finger at you. He tries to get to you by swerving past Jungkook, but the latter steps in front of you again, stopping Suho with a firm hand on his chest. He didn’t show it, but the contact was definitely made with strength because Suho stumbles back from it.

“I said. Give it up. I’m not gonna repeat myself again”, he warns. For just a second his voice was deeper than usual and his eyes darker. You can’t stop staring in awe, feeling so attracted to him that it is difficult not to grab him right here and now.

Suho ignores him, talking over Jungkook’s shoulder.

“It’s over. I’m breaking up with you.”

“Huh? We weren’t even together in the first place?” you say very confused.

“Yes, well…. Now it’s really over. And just so you know, I’ll block you on everything.”

“I mean, okay.”

Suho turns and runs down the street clumsily.

A moment of silence. Jungkook turns to you. He is ready to take you into his arms if you need support.

“Everything okay?” he asks hesitantly.

“Honestly? I couldn’t care less about this tantrum. What the fuck was that? We went on one date and it sucked ass. I mean, who in their right mind expects someone to give up their best friend? I don’t even know this dude.”

“Would you have done it if you liked him?”

“What? No, of course not. I like you, not him.”

“What?!”

You look at Jungkook with big eyes.

“I, I mean…” you look at his lips and Jungkook finally notices.

Holy fuck. Suho was right.

He drops the grocery bags and closes the distance, cupping your face. To his delighted surprise, you practically melt into his hands, gazing at him with dreamy eyes and your fingers closing around his wrists greedily.

“Was he right?” Jungkook asks, looking between your right and left eye. “Do you have feelings for me?”

“I’m scared”, you whisper.

“Scared of what?”

“You are so perfect and I’m not. I don’t want to know how you feel about me, so just…let’s just forget about what happened please.”

“You’re not perfect? What the fuck? You’re literally perfect. If someone’s unworthy, it’s me.”

“What?”

Jungkook gulps. 

You touch his chest.

“Kook, what?”

“You’re my fucking dream girl, ___” he finally confesses and now can’t be stopped, “I get excited when you text me and get sad when I don’t hear from you. Each time we hang out, I kinda wish that we somehow magically end up together. I repeat every little touch and shared laughter and look. Sometimes I can’t fall asleep because of you, but wish to do so because in my sleep I can meet you in my silly, wishful dreams. Do you have any idea how in love I am with you?”

“Are you serious?” 

Jungkook nods his head, forcing your tears to finally flow. He gasps and begins wiping them away instantly.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry, I promise I won’t try anything. You, you won’t lose your best friend.”

“I’m just happy. So happy.”

“You are?”

“I feel the same for you. I have done so for a long time.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” You sniffle. “You’re my dream boy too, Jungkook.”

“Oh my god. Oh my god! Yippie!” he exclaims and overtaken by happiness, he swoops you off your feet to twirl with you, making you squeal happily as you hold onto him for dear life. Strangers definitely look at you weird, but you couldn’t care less. They are non-existent for you and him. He likes you and you like him back. This day is the best day you and he ever had.

He sets you down after the twirling, cradling your face so he could hold it still for way too many kisses. He gives you kisses everywhere except your lips, making you giggle and laugh and tingle the entire time.

“I’m so happy, you’re so pretty and perfect and amazing and pretty and amazing and I’m gonna kiss you there and there and there and oh my god you’re so perfect, I’m gonna kiss you there and there, wow oh wow…” he babbles between kisses, truly sending your heart into overdrive.

He probably would have continued his babbling for hours if you hadn’t stopped him by lacing your fingers in his hair and pulling his mouth into a kiss.

“Andmhgmh”, he lets out, gawking at you first before the realisation of his situation sinks in. His knees buckle, his left hand grabs your hips and his right hand cradles your head, eyes falling closed. He is kissing you. He feels weightless, floating in time and space. His heart races so much that he feels it throb against his ribcage, the butterflies in his stomach are unbearably exciting. He dreamt of this moment a million times before, fantasised about it twice as much and yet he still wasn’t ready for it. Your kiss is like heaven on earth. He swears that he gains new life through it. He wants to kiss you until his lungs run out of air, but you break it.

“Was that okay for me to do?” you ask him shyly.

Now it’s his turn to spill tears and for you to wipe them.

“I’m sorry, I should have ask-”, you don’t get to finish your sentence, getting kissed again by Jungkook.

“I’m so fucking happy, you have no idea”, he murmurs, showing you his feelings one deep kiss at a time. “You taste so good.” Kiss, oh so deep. “Your lips are so soft.” Kiss, the kind which makes your knees wobble. “You’re perfect, you’re so perfect.”

You giggle, gazing up at him droopily. Jungkook giggles as well, peeling his eyes open to gaze dreamily. You and he cup each other’s faces, resting your foreheads together.

“I’m happy.”

“I’m happy too.”

“Wow, I’m so happy.”

“Me too. So happy.”

You giggle together, swaying from side to side. Nothing, truly nothing, has never felt as right as this.

“Were you trying to confess to me before Suho interrupted us?”

“Yeah.”

You giggle as you talk, “you were really shit at it. I thought you were talking about someone else.”

“I know, I panicked so bad. I was so nervous”, he is giggling too, “are you actually talking to another boy?”

“Of course not, you doofus. I lied.”

“Oh my god, I’m so relieved”, he gets out and sweeps you off your feet again, carrying you under your butt. He twirls with you, smiling up at you as you squeak and laugh with your head thrown back.

“Jungkook stop please, I’m getting dizzy.”

He sets you down, but keeps touching you, seeking your closeness by rubbing his nose against your cheek. He is so close that the sunflowers are getting squished between you and him. It is a price you sadly have to pay in exchange for finally being able to be glued together.

“I’m so happy, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Kook. So like barbeque and beer? Is it a date?” you ask.

“It’s the datiest date that has ever dated”, he says, making you giggle because he is so cute and funny and you like him so, so much. He giggles with you because you are so perfect and perfect and perfect and he likes you so, so much.

“I feel like we have a lot to talk about.”

“Yeah, oh god.” He kisses your cheek multiple times. “You have to tell me all the thoughts you had when we hung out. Were you also so giddy, oh god, I was always so giddy and I kept looking at you because you are so pretty. Were you looking at me too? And, and did you also wish for me to be reckless? I always wanted you to just kiss me. I’m talking so much, wow, I’m so happy.”

You giggle, cuddling into him, “you’re the cutest person ever. I can’t wait to tell you everything.”

You nudge him to leave, but stop when Jungkook exclaims a loud “wait!”

“What’s wrong?”

“The groceries. I almost left them here”, he says, bending down to get them.

“Oh god, you’re so cute”, you snicker, hugging his arm and nuzzling into him like you always wanted to do.

[thebearer]

love me tomorrow |carmen berzatto x reader| part three

prompt: after time apart, you and carmen meet up for the first time since the fight.

or part three and the final part of the devastation fic (spoiler- the resolution haha). part one and part two can be found here :)

contains: angst. hurt with comfort (finally lol). mentions of mean!carmen, past fighting. past trauma, family trauma. carmen's been to therapy (yay). language. mom!reader x dad!carmen. fluff at the end, i had to make it a little funny and end on a light note bc it felt so heavy lol. word count- 4.7k+

“He’s here,” Sugar announced, the chime of a doorbell following nearly cinematically. 

Your shoulders tightened, stomach twisting with an ache of nerves you tried to swallow. You were so nervous- why were you so nervous? He’d fucked up, not you. He was here to grovel and beg for forgiveness, not you. Still, you felt your hairline prick with heat, hands clammy when you heard the door opening downstairs. 

“Okay,” You tried to steady your voice, exhaling slowly out of your nose. “I’m almost done.” 

Sugar nodded, not leaving, keeping her post behind you. “You know you don’t have to do this.” Sugar looked at you through the mirror, arms folded over her chest, watching you carefully for a sign- anything that would give her a red flag, make her call this off. 

“I know,” You swallowed your buzzing nerves, jittery in the pit of your belly. 

“I’ll tell him to go away. You give me the word, and I’ll kick him out.” Sugar stood, pushing off the door frame and walking towards you. “Seriously. One wrong word, wrong look, anything, he’s gone. Say the word.” 

You gave a small smile. “I think I’ll be alright, but thank you.” You muttered, looking down at your bare ring finger. You still found yourself reaching for your ring, heart spiking in a panic when you’d see it was gone, only to sink when you remembered why- why you left it. 

“I feel like it’s time.” You admitted, trying to convince yourself more than Natalie. You were still unsure, so jarred and hurt by the last time you’d spoken to Carmen. The things he’d said, how he’d hurt you. “I think we have to figure something out.”

“You don’t have to do anything.” Sugar gave you a pointed look. “Trust me, if this was me, Pete would never live that down- never. He’d be at my mercy for the rest of his life, if I even let him back into it.” 

You knew Natalie wasn’t joking, that she would do just as she said, but that was also easy for her to say; when Pete could not fathom ever thinking those things about her, let alone saying them to her. Sometimes you wished Carmen could be softer, a little more like Pete in that way. 

“He’s been going to therapy,” Richie’s voice played in your mind. “He’s, uh, he’s doin’ good. Tryna get better for you, for both of you. He loves you, you know that, sweetheart. He’s just… He’s fucked up, y’know? We all are a little, but he’s workin’ on it.” 

You hoped that was true. For your marriage, for your baby. Sugar and Pete had been taking Teddy to see Carmen. You couldn't bring yourself to see him yet, but depriving him of Teddy felt cruel and inhumane. 

Downstairs, you could hear her gurgling, Carmen’s soft tone greeting her in hushed excitement. It soothed you, even for just a moment, it felt familiar- felt like home. What you’d missed so badly, what you longed for to have again. 

“Uncle Carm, why haven’t you been staying here too?” MJ’s tiny squeak of a voice rang up the stairs, greeting you as you quietly crept down them. 

“MJ,” Pete muttered, shaking his head gently. “C’mon, bud, you know Uncle Carm’s been on a business trip.” 

“Right, yeah.” Carmen nodded, his hand patting Teddy’s back gently, soothing her and him. Just feeling the weight of her back on his chest, it put him at ease. She was bigger now, longer than he remembered, but he tried not to think about that, nose pressing into her soft tufts of hair. 

MJ saw you first, his face falling into a pout. “Aw, does that mean you’re going home?” He whined, looking at you then back at Carmen. “Are you takin’ Anchovy and Teddy?” 

Anchovy skittered towards you, running up the stairs at the mention of his name. He’d been a trooper with MJ and Maggie, both kids enamored with the cat who was less than impressed with them. 

Carmen stiffened at the sight of you, spine rigid, heart skipping and falling in his chest. There was a pause of awkward uncertainty, neither of you sure what to say. “If you’re good,” Sugar stepped in. “Maybe your aunt and uncle will let you play with them a little longer while they go out.” She looked at you, shrugging gently at the suggestion. 

You looked at Carmen, eyes meeting him in a brief, unsure gaze, before nodding. “Yeah, that would be- that would be great, MJ.” You gave a soft smile to the boy. 

Carmen stood, passing Teddy off to Sugar with a quiet muttering of thanks. He met you in the doorway, hand reaching for yours, but stopping himself, pulling back hesitantly. Instead, he held the door open, letting you pass by him first. 

The car smelled like a mix of cleaning supply, masked with car fresheners he’d stuck in the vents. He’d been smoking, more than usual, you were sure of it. He’d gotten down to one a day after Teddy was born, paranoid that he’d give her asthma or a rash or something worse. 

“Um,” Carmen hesitated, his voice shaking in a way that he hadn’t since your first date. “I was… I was thinkin’ we could go somewhere t-to talk?” Carmen’s gaze met yours, lips pressing together, swallowing around the lump in his throat. 

You nodded, your hands clasped in your lap, both of you too rigid, too uncomfortable. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.” You looked down at your nails. “We could go get coffee? Go to the one by the restaurant.” 

Carmen’s heart burned with a dull ache. The coffee shop a block from The Bear had been a staple in your relationship. When you’d first moved in together, to the shitty downtown apartment to be closer to the restaurant, Carmen would go every Sunday. Sometimes he’d pick up, other times you’d come with him, sit in the corner seat side by side in a booth- like the couples you used to roll your eyes at, lovesick. 

Someone was already sitting in that booth when you got there, so you settled for a small two seater in the back, secluded and empty. Carmen brought you your coffee without asking, he knew the order by heart now, etched into his mind permanently. 

“Thank you,” You muttered, accepting the paper cup, your eyes not meeting his, but your hands brushing. You didn’t pull away this time. 

Carmen sat across from you, a dread filled silence falling thick between the two of you. His knee bouncing under the table. “I, uh, I wanna talk first if-if that’s good with you.” Carmen’s eyes lifted under his ball cap, pulled low on his head, curls peaking out. 

You nodded, twisting the paper cup around on the table, too nervous to drink it. Carmen took a breath, trying to calm his racing mind. “Take a deep breath before you start. It’s ok to take a second to get your words in order, Carmen. Collect your thoughts.” Dr. Mullins’ words rang through his head. 

“I wanna start by saying that I’m sorry.” Carmen looked at you when he said it, eyes rounding in a pathetically sweet way. “I-I’m sorry and I…I didn’t mean anything I said. I would never- It wasn’t you.” 

You looked down at the table, the familiar heat burning in your nose and throat, a threat of tears already. “Hey,” Carmen said firmly, leaning forward. “C’mon, look at me. Please?” You look at him hesitantly, jaw clenching, trying to keep yourself from crying. 

Carmen held your gaze, his lips pressing together in a tight line to keep his own emotions in. “It wasn’t you.” His gaze was intense but soft all at once, holding yours. “It… It was all me. All of it. I-I was overwhelmed, I was stressed, I fucked up, a-and-” Carmen’s voice cracked, breaking at the end, his hand running over his face to try and calm himself. 

You felt your own eyes well with tears, chin ducking closer into yourself, leaning towards him. You wanted to reach out, to grab his hand that rested on the table, squeeze it in comfort like you always did. Instead, you looked at him, waiting for him to continue. 

“And I shouldn’t have said any of that shit because-because none of it was true.” Carmen continued, his voice strained. 

“So why’d you say it then?” You surprised yourself with the firmness in your tone, edging on a snap. 

Carmen blinked, surprised but not entirely shocked. His knee bounced faster and faster under the table. He took a second, holding his breath before exhaling, trying to keep the growing tightness in his chest to a minimum. 

“I was stressed. I was tired. I-I was overwhelmed, and… and I was an asshole.” Carmen admitted, but you still didn’t seem convinced. You knew him better than anyone, better than Dr. Mullins, better than even Fak or Richie or Sugar. 

“I… I was hurting. I was hurting an-and I was so fuckin’ angry. I don’t-I don’t even know why I was so angry.” Carmen admitted, nodding slowly, eyes flickering from your gaze to his hands nervously. “I just… I think I wanted someone to hurt like I was hurting. I just, I don’t know, I wanted someone else to feel like I was, an-and I should have- it was fuckin’ stupid, an-and selfish, and…” 

Your eyes were glassy with tears you tried to hide, blinking a tear that fell down your cheek, wiping it quickly. Carmen’s chest ached, burned with hurt at the sight of you. 

“And I’ve never regretted anything more in my life.” He looked at you sincerely. “I-I-I never said anything more untrue and fuckin’ stupid in my life.” 

“You…” You took a breath, your voice shaking with emotions. “You really hurt my feelings, Carmen.” You admitted looking at him. He nodded, jaw flexing, neck blossoming with splotches of emotion. 

“I just don’t really understand how-how you didn’t mean to say those things. I mean, clearly you-you’ve thought that before.” Your voice lifted higher and higher, climbing with a cry that threatened to break. “I know you’re saying you didn’t mean those things, and I get that, but my problem is you’ve thought them before-” 

“-No, no, I swear-” 

“-You have, Carmen. Clearly you have. You wouldn’t- You didn’t just come up with that shit out of nowhere.” Your voice was beginning to climb, trying to level it out in the cafe, keeping your composure. You took a breath, pinching the bridge of your nose, pad of your thumb swiping the corner of your eye to catch a stray tear. “Just… Just don’t lie to me.” 

Carmen pressed his hands together, trying hard to remember his breathing while his mind was racing. Sugar was right, it was uncomfortable, worse than he could have imagined. 

“You’re right,” Carmen admitted with a nod. There was no point in lying, not to you, you always knew better, knew him better. “I-I did, but not-not like that. Not,” Carmen’s breath hitched, chest tight with a wave of anxiety. 

“You know wh-when I was at the restaurant, and I… I would be ready to rip my fuckin’ hair out. Everything was just goin’ to shit, o-or we’d realize there was a critic on the books, or I’d forgot to order some shit, I’d be going fuckin’ crazy, ya know?” Carmen rambled, words spilling out in tumbles of jumbled truth.

 “I’d go to my office for a second, just to-just to take a fuckin’ breath, and… and I’d check my phone and I’d see a text from you.” His heart swelled at the memory. You’d text him updates through the day, knowing he’d seen him when he could. Baby Teddy in her crib, Anchovy in the bassinet, her outfit for the day, nap time- all the moments he missed at work because you wanted him to see. You had considered him. Carmen missed it more than words could describe the past days, checking his phone out of habit, hoping to see a little OOTD with a smiley face and a wrinkly baby Teddy attached- instead, he saw nothing. 

“I’d just… I don’t know. I was sittin’ there, just fuckin’ stressed o-or angry, and then I’d see that and I-I’d feel,” Carmen paused. Gather your thoughts, gather your thoughts. 

“I felt… I just felt weird about it?” Carmen’s brows pinched together, looking at you for help, unsure. Your face fell, his heart lurching with fear. 

“No, no, no, no. Not-Not like that. I- fuck, that’s not what- I love the pictures. Love them. I-I- They’re the only things that get me through the day, it-it’s not that-” Carmen stuttered out, head dropping into his hands in defeat. Way to go, Berzatto. 

“Felt weird?” You repeated, calm, your way of soothing him. Keeping your voice even, steady without any tones he could read into and spiral. It was second nature at this point. “Weird how?” 

“It made me feel like… like I was, I was missin’ out.” Carmen admitted, eyes shining bright and a little wide like they always did when he’d finally admit something. Wide eyed, scared, almost, like he shouldn’t have told the truth. 

“I felt like, I’m at work, an-and you were at home with Teddy, and…and I felt like I was bein’ a shitty dad. Like I was there too much, an-and I’d miss out on her, and then I’d miss you, I’d just…” Carmen threw his hands out lightly, cheeks puffing with a slow, shaky exhale. 

“I was jealous, maybe? Ma-Maybe that’s the word, but I just… I didn’t want to be there, and I know,” He lifted his voice before you could begin to speak. “I know I’m th-the boss, and-and I get that. And it’s not- it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault you’re home- I’m glad you’re home, I am, because you’re doin’ so much. You are, an-and I know that, I know. You’re-You’re doin’ the most important job in the fuckin’ world, I mean, you’re keepin’ ou-our baby alive.” 

Carmen laughed humorlessly, a scoff that turned into a sniffle, shaking his head. You sat quietly, listening to his words, taking them in with a slow nod. Carmen looked at you, trying to read you, taking in your expressions. Your shoulders less tense, tired, face neutral but he saw the way your lips twitched, holding back a cry. 

“Just sometimes when-when I’d be in the shit, I’d just want to be home.” Carmen admitted. “I’d want to be home, but… but I knew I couldn’t be. I knew I had to-to take care of things, take care of you an-and Teddy, and I don’t- fuck, I don’t mean it like a bad thing. I like doing it, I mean obviously I fuckin’ do, it’s just- it-it’s a lot sometimes and I get-” 

“-Carm,” You cut off his ramblings, reaching across the table, your hand sliding over the top of his, squeezing it gently. 

Carmen thought his lungs might have given out, his heart too, looking down at your hand in awe. Bolts of electricity shot through his body, tingling at his skin that touched yours with excitement. He’d missed this, missed your touch, missed you. It felt surreal, sitting here, feeling you, seeing you. 

“I’m sorry.” Carmen whispered, turning his hand to hold yours. Hands clammy, fingernails bitten to the quick. His fingers intertwined in yours, holding your hand so tightly your fingers tingles. He held your hand like he was scared to let go, like if he did he might never get to hold your hand again. 

“I’m sorry. It-It wasn’t fair. It..It’s not fair.” Carmen squeezed your hand, shaking his head lightly. “You didn’t… I don’t know how to say how much you mean to me.” Carmen looked at you, eyes glassy, red rimmed with tears that gathered at his water line. 

“I, uh, I-I tried to- Well, Richie’s thera- my therapist told me to, uh, to try an-and write out what I wanted to say to you. Take time and reflect and give it to you, but I, uh, I was up all night because I kept starting over.” Carmen rambled on. 

“Everything I was tryna write it just… it didn’t feel like enough. It didn’t do you justice.” Carmen looked up at you, thumb brushing over your knuckle gently. “I felt like it just wasn’t enough. They’re aren’t any words to describe you. To…To describe what you mean to me, an-and how much I love you.” 

You swallowed back a sob, looking into his eyes. An intensity you hadn’t seen since he said his vows, maybe more now. “I-I love you so much, and… and I don’t deserve you. I don’t fucking deserve you.” Carmen choked out, a sob slipping out between his confessions. 

“I-I’m a fuckin’ loser, an-and a psycho, and I-I’m a shitty dad and husband…And I-I’m fucked up, and you-you chose to love me anyways. An-And to marry me, and have a kid with me- start a family with me. And what do I do? I fuck it up, and I don’t deserve you. I never have, an-and I never will.” Carmen rambled, tears sliding down his cheeks freely, leaning towards you, shoulders stuttering with a choking of tears.

“Don’t say that.” You sniffle, shaking your head. “Don’t say that-” 

“-No, it’s true, it’s fuckin’ true-” 

“-No, it isn’t. Carmen, don’t say that.” You reach your free hand out, cupping his cheek across the table, thumb swiping over his cheek, wiping away a stray tear. You held him, feeling the heat in his cheeks, he turned into your touch, breath slowing. 

“You’re not a loser. You’re not a psycho. You’re not a bad dad, or-or a bad husband either.” You leaned forwards, closing in the gap between the two of you, the edge of the table digging into your stomach. “You made a mistake-” 

“-No, that’s-that’s- it’s worse than that. It’s so much fuckin’ worse than that. Don’t-” 

“-You made a mistake.” You said, firmer this time, cradling his cheek in your hand. 

Carmen took a breath, squeezing your hand in his, sniffing deep to keep his tears in. “I don’t… I don’t want to be like my parents.” He whispered, eyes rounding in a scared way. “I-I don’t want to fuck up you o-or Teddy or… I just don’t wanna end up like them. I wanna be different.” 

“You’re not gonna end up like them.” You shook your head softly. 

“No, I-I was actin’ just like them.” Carmen muttered. “Yellin’ at you a-and actin’ like a complete fuckin’ lunatic. Just like them, an-and I don’t wanna live like that.” 

“You won’t.” You reassured him gently, whispering across the table. He shook his head in protest. “Carm, listen to me. You’re… You’re not like them, ok?” 

You could feel Carmen start to shake, a trembling through his system that was a tell-tale sign of a panic attack. Your eyes scanned over the restaurant, filling up with the mid-afternoon rush. “Come on,” You nodded towards the door, pushing your chair back, hand still in his. “Let’s get some air.” 

Carmen didn’t argue, he wouldn’t- couldn’t even if he wanted to. Your hand in his, squeezing his gently, pulling him towards the car. Carmen pulled the keys out with shaky hands, unlocking the door. He reached for the passenger door, but you pulled the back door open instead, surprising him when you slipped in the backseat, nodding at him to follow you. You squeezed into the middle, Teddy’s car seat pressed to your back, Carmen pressed into your side, shutting the door.

“You’re not like them.” You broke the silence, turning yourself towards him. “You’re not.” 

Carmen leaned his head back against the seat, tears leaking out of his eyes. “You-You don’t have to do this, say that.” He shook his head. “I don’t deserve it.” 

“Carmen, you’re not like your parents.” You reached for his hand again. “The fact that you’re scared to be like them, scared and trying to stop it, that shows me you’re not like them.” 

Carmen’s chest stuttered, a hissing of a cry leaving his lungs. “You made a mistake.” You swallowed, your own heart aching. “But… But that doesn’t mean you’re as a whole a bad person. It just means you made a mistake, and if you learn from it and become better, then it’s ok. It’s a lesson learned.” 

Carmen nodded, eyes squeezing shut, tight like he was trying to keep everything in. “I just…I really fucking miss you.” Carmen admitted through a wobbly voice, eyes still closed. “I-I really miss you, and… and I want you to come home.” 

You shook your head, tears sliding down your cheeks. “I miss you too.” You whispered, squeezing his hand. “I missed you so much.” 

Carmen turned, arms wrapping around your body, pulling you tightly into him. His nose pressed into the top of your head, breathing in detergent that didn’t smell like what you used at home, shampoo, too. You held onto him, fingers digging into his shoulders, pushing him further and further into you until it felt like your bodies were meshing together, fusing into one. 

Whispered apologies shared through teary, wet sniffles filled the space. Carmen’s nose rubbing against yours, hesitating before he kissed you. You pulled him into you, finally soothing the aching longing that had built in your chest, your lips catching his, the two of you staying unmoving, wanting to feel the other. Clinging to each other, hands grabbing, lips parting, Carmen pressing you against the car seat, hand cradled on the back of your head. 

“I-I understand if you still don’t wanna come home.” Carmen muttered, breath hot over your cheek, nose rubbing against your skin. “But I really fuckin’ miss you.” 

“I miss you too.” You muttered, lips buzzing against his neck, tears hot and trickling onto the collar of his t-shirt. “I-I want to come home.” 

“A-Are you sure?” Carmen’s eyes lit up with hope, though he tried to hide it, the way he always did; too scared to let him get too excited, too hopeful because he always feared it would end. 

“Yeah,” You whispered, nodding gently, balling the back of his shirt between your fingers. 

“Yeah?” Carmen repeated, lips pressing together to keep his cry in, a different one this time. One of relief. For the first time in days, he felt like he could breathe, like his lungs weren’t constricting and on the brink of collapse. His mind didn’t race and cloud with delirious confusion. No, here and now, holding you, Carmen had clarity. 

The both of you stayed in the back of the car, holding the other, chest to chest until your heartbeat became the same, steady rhythm, matching the others. 

Carmen held your hand on the drive back, pressing wet kisses to your knuckles, trying to wipe his eyes of any tears. “Can’t let Pete see me cryin’ again.” He muttered. “That was a new fuckin’ low.” You had giggled softly, enough to have his heart fluttering. He’d never admit it out loud, not now, anyways, that he was thankful for Pete. How he’d taken care of you, of Teddy, of Anchovy. He’d stuck up for you, even if it was against Carmen, and that meant the world to Carmen. 

Pulling into Sugar and Pete’s house, Carmen shoved the gear shift into park, his hand still in yours, both of you sitting in each other's company for a minute longer. Just a little bit longer the two of you, before you had to face the others. 

“Oh, uh, one more thing.” Carmen’s thumb ran over your knuckles before he let go of your hand for a moment, raising up in the seat to dig into the front pocket of his jeans. 

“I, uh, I brought your rings back.” Carmen’s voice dropped, a shake in his words that matched the shake in his hands, pinching your wedding band and ring in between his fingers. 

You swallowed at the sight, Carmen holding the ring between his fingers, it took you back to years before when he’d proposed. Nearly as nervous as he was now, just as shaky, but for a different reason. 

“You don’t have to put them on or anything. I don’t- I’m not tryna make you do that, it’s your choice, obviously. I just,” Carmen took a breath, looking at you. “I thought you might want them back.” 

You paused for a moment, looking at the rings, the sting of the last time you saw them still burning and aching in your chest, but this time, it wasn’t as crushing. It was more of a dull ache, a tiredness that came with it instead of devastation. 

Reaching out, your fingertips tickled his palms, gathering the two rings in your hand. You looked at them, turning them over in your hands. “Thank you,” You mumbled, looking up at Carmen. He swallowed, giving a nod, trying to mask the hurt that you hadn’t put them back on- you didn’t miss it. 

“Do-” Your voice caught in your throat. “Will you put them back on?” You blinked at him, wide eyed, asking so sweet, Carmen thought his heart might give out entirely. 

You held the rings out towards him. “Will you put them back on for me? Please?” 

Carmen didn’t deserve you. The notion rang loud over and over in his head again, throat burning, welling up with tears. He didn’t deserve you. You were too good, too fuckin’ good for him. 

His hands trembled, holding yours and slipping the rings back onto your ring finger, back to their rightful place. Carmen twisted them, a deep breath of a sob that was threatening to break filling the space. His fingers intertwined with yours, free hand cupping your jaw, pulling you into a kiss over the console. 

Sugar looked out the window, peeking through the blinds. “What’re they doin’ out there?” Pete whispered behind her, like the two of you might hear them. “Do they look happy? Sad? You don’t think it went bad, do you? I mean, Carmen can be-” 

“-Pete,” Sugar snapped with a soft huff. “Look for yourself.” She moved, biting back a small grin. 

Pete slid in her place, pushing the blinds apart, sneakily looking out the side of them. He could see the two of you in the car, Carmen’s hands on the back of your head, holding you while you leaned across the console in a deep, passionate kiss. 

“Well, lookie there.” Pete grinned, letting the blinds fall. “I guess there was a happy ending after all.” 

Sugar rolled her eyes, lips twitching in a small smile. “He still has a lot to make up for. I hope she didn’t let him off the hook too easily.” She grumbled, crossing her arms. “But I am glad they made up. I would kill Carmen if he fucked things up with my favorite sister-in-law.” 

Pete let out a small laugh, looking out the window again. “The kids are gonna miss Teddy and Anchovy when they go back. MJ’s gonna be devastated they’re taking them.” Pete muttered, Sugar nodded. 

Pete paused for a moment, looking behind him with a soft frown. “Y’know, this is gonna sound crazy, Nat, but I’ll be kinda glad when Anchovy is gone.” Pete admitted in a hushed tone, like Anchovy might hear him. 

Sugar snorted lightly. “Yeah. Except MJ and Maggie will be begging for a cat of their own. They’ve already started and I told them-” 

“-No, I mean,” Pete turned, watching the orange cat slink around at the top of the stairs, Anchovy glaring down at Pete before disappearing to the guest room. “I don’t think that cat likes me.”

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hi!! could I request Argenti, Boothill and Jing Yuan when someone tries to flirt with their s/o? I absolutely adore your writing btw!! Hope you're doing good!!

Boothill

Has a bullet with their name written on it and it was in times like theses where he wishes his shit hadn’t been tampered with, just so he could curse the bastard out for merely brushing shoulders either you.

Words such as:

Mother fudger

Heck

And Gosh darn it

Weren’t exactly going to scare the person flirting with you off with their tail between their legs but threatening to shot them would. However after the person had scampered off, Boothill would be subjected to you scolding him about threatening people for simply flirting with you, when there were other ways to do so without the inclusion of unnecessary violence.

Boothill can’t help it! He hates it when people flirt with his darling and he isn’t one for sharing you either, he’d much rather hog all of your time and attention for himself! You were his partner! Not everyone else’s!

‘Boothill.’ You said warningly.

‘What?’ He said as he tugged you into his side, keeping his arm at your waist possessively. ‘He was getting a little too cosy and I had to remind that fudging idiot to keep his hands to himself.’ He adds with a smirk, stealing a kiss from your lips.

His jealously stems from his own hatred towards his metal body, you could find someone else who could feel you in your entirety beyond from their face and head, unlike him.

‘I get that and I thank you for running them off, but you know you don’t have to worry about me looking at anyone else.’ You reassured him as you held his face in your hands and watched as his smile falters and his featured relaxed into your touch. ‘You’re all I want, you’re all i’ll ever need regardless of your inability to physically feel.’ You then pressed your forehead against his, feeling him push himself further against you in a selfish need to feel you. ‘You’re my handsome, handsome cowboy.’ You whispered.

‘I am your handsome, handsome cowboy.’ He muttered under his breath.

Argenti

He’s not jealous in the slightest.

He’s the most trusting in the strength of your relationship and you to even allow for an ounce of doubt to permeate his thoughts.

If anything he’d agree with everything the person was saying about you while adding onto it, making the person feel as though their attempts at flirting with you were useless, especially when the cherry haired knight beside you was casually waxing poetry on your ethereal beauty.

‘Indeed they are a beauty to behold indeed.’ He’d say as he knelt before you and held your hands in his all the while making sure his eyes remained glued on you as he spoke. ‘I’d kneel before their alter for the rest of eternity if it meant achieving the impossible and catching their gaze, they truly are my reason for breathing, the reason I see beauty whenever I travel, as they are the true beauty I have been seeking for my whole life.’ He finishes by kissing the back of your hands softly, his thumbs caressing the skin there as though they were porcelain.

The person who was flirting with you left not long after because how could they compare with that?!

All they said was that you were cute and Argenti took that and made you come across as though you were a deity lost to time, finally having been found after so long.

They knew they couldn’t win and left for easier people to pull their mediocre pick up lines on.

Argenti is your Gomez, you are his Morticia. There was no one getting between you two because the love you had was stronger than most.

Jealousy doesn’t exist when you actually trust someone whom you claim is half of your own soul.

Jing yuan

He finds the face they make upon realising who’s s/o they’ve been flirting with particularly funny to be even remotely jealous.

Not to say that he doesn’t get jealous, he does but it’s not nearly as evident. He’s self assured in his relationship with you that he didn’t even think of the person flirting with you as a threat even in the slightest.

‘I’m sorry to interrupt your riveting conversation but I’d like my partner back now.’ He’d say as he stood behind the person flirting with you.

‘Look buddy I found them,’ the person looked behind them, and upon realising who was behind them, the words of annoyance were quickly discarded as they could only stare at a smiling Jing Yuan, ‘first…’

Jing yuan raised his brows as the Cheshire smile on his lips only grew at the evident regret across their face. ‘Hmmm? Cat got your tongue? You seem a bit pale, maybe you should go sit down and rest.’ He suggested and watched in amusement as the person didn’t fight back, but instead wordlessly followed his instruction and walked away for you both to go somewhere else.

‘You’re having too much fun with this.’ You’d tell Jing Yuan as he placed a hand on the small of your back and guided you out of the establishment.

‘What can I say, their expressions may be the same every time but that doesn’t stop them from being more humorous than the last.’ He replies with a chuckle as he presses a tender kiss to your forehead. ‘However I cannot blame them for finding you as appealing as I do if they’re so desperate as to flirt for your attention.’ He adds and you huff and crossed your arms. ‘As if you were any different.’

Jing yuan raised his brows, silently telling you to continue.

‘When you wanted my attention, you would sit next to me and rest your head on my shoulder before falling asleep.’ You added and Jing yuan chuckles. ‘I didn’t-‘

‘All. The. Time.’ You cut him off, emphasising each word that left your mouth. ‘Yangqing told me that you only did that to me, no one else got that special treatment from the all mighty general.’ You smirked at Jing Yuan who muttered a soft ‘Yangqing.’ under his breath as you held onto his side. ‘It doesn’t matter now because I thought it was extremely cute.’ You reassured him with a kiss to the cheek as you both walked home, tucked closely against one another, the events that happened prior having completely been forgotten as you reminisced the past.

[yuu-kantokusei]

Happy New Year✨️🎈🎊

Story: Yuu and Grim spend their New Year with each dorm + Ramshackle dorm

Reader is Yuu

TW: none, just wishing a good and healthy year🎉

❤️Heartslabyul🖤

The New Year’s celebration at Heartslabyul was in full swing, and Yuu could hardly believe the amount of effort that had gone into it. The rose garden sparkled with fairy lights, red and white roses seemed to glow in the moonlight, and the long tea table was adorned with an array of pastries, tarts, and steaming teapots. The decorations were pristine, though Yuu suspected they only looked that way because Trey had quietly cleaned up after Ace and Deuce’s haphazard attempts.

“Oi, Yuu, look at this spread!” Grim said, hopping onto the table and sniffing a tart. “This is what I call a feast fit for the Great Grim-sama!”

“Get down before Riddle sees you,” Yuu whispered, quickly pulling Grim back into their lap. “I don’t want to get dragged into another lecture.”

As if summoned by the mere mention of his name, Riddle appeared, straightening his blazer. “I trust everything is in order for the midnight countdown? I expect everyone to behave themselves and follow the rules. This is a formal occasion, after all.”

“Yes, sir!” Deuce said earnestly, while Ace muttered something about it being a party, not a trial.

The evening passed with laughter and games, though not without its share of chaos. Cater had everyone posing for photos, insisting on “just one more” until even Riddle begrudgingly joined in. Grim spent most of the time sneaking treats, though he loudly denied it when Trey caught him with powdered sugar on his nose.

As the clock neared midnight, the group gathered in the garden, bundled in scarves and coats against the winter chill. Sparklers flickered in the dark, their light reflecting in the frost-dusted roses.

“All right, everyone,” Riddle said, his voice firm but softer than usual. “It’s almost time. Let’s make this a New Year’s to remember.”

Yuu glanced at Grim, who had nestled against their side, his tail curling around their arm. “Grim, you ready?”

“Pfft, of course I am! This is gonna be my year,” Grim said, puffing out his chest. “The year Grim-sama rises to greatness!”

As the countdown began, voices overlapping in excitement, Yuu couldn’t help but smile. Being here, with this strange and wonderful group, felt like a gift.

“Happy New Year!"

The garden erupted in cheers as fireworks exploded overhead, painting the sky with bursts of red, gold, and silver. Grim let out a delighted yowl, jumping up to chase a stray spark that flickered down toward the ground.

Riddle, for once, didn’t scold him. Instead, he raised a teacup in a quiet toast. “To a year of success and order,” he said.

“And fun,” Ace added with a grin, dodging a playful punch from Deuce.

Yuu felt a warm glow settle in their chest as they watched their friends bicker, laugh, and celebrate together. The New Year stretched ahead, full of possibilities. Whatever challenges came next, they knew they wouldn’t face them alone.

As the fireworks faded and the group slowly drifted back inside, Grim fell asleep against Yuu’s shoulder, his soft snores blending with the faint hum of lingering magic in the air.

“Happy New Year, Grim,” Yuu whispered, their voice barely audible above the quiet. The little monster only snuggled closer in response, and Yuu couldn’t think of a better way to start the year.

_______________________________________________

💛Savanaclaw🖤

The New Year’s celebration at Savanaclaw was unlike anything Yuu had ever experienced before. The dorm was alive with energy, the air filled with the rich scent of grilled meat and the crackling sound of the enormous bonfire that had been built in the center of the courtyard. The fire’s golden light danced across the sandstone walls, casting long shadows that flickered like living beasts.

Yuu stepped into the dorm, Grim perched on their shoulder, his nose twitching as he sniffed the air. "Oh, yeah! This is the place to be for New Year’s!” Grim said, practically drooling as his eyes locked onto the buffet table piled high with roasted meat, steaming bowls of stew, and skewers sizzling over open flames.

“You better not embarrass me,” Yuu muttered, but Grim was already scrambling down and bounding toward the food.

Nearby, Jack was stacking logs by the bonfire, his muscular arms flexing with every movement. He gave Yuu a quick nod as they approached. “Good to see you here. Savanaclaw knows how to celebrate New Year’s the right way.”

“Looks like it,” Yuu replied, watching as a group of students broke into a spirited wrestling match not far from the fire.

“Oi, herbivore,” came a lazy voice from the shadows. Yuu turned to see Leona lounging on a pile of cushions under the shade of a large tent, his golden eyes glinting in the firelight. “Try not to get caught up in the chaos. Savanaclaw’s parties aren’t for the faint of heart.”

“I can handle it,” Yuu replied, crossing their arms.

Leona smirked. “We’ll see about that.”

As the night went on, the celebration grew wilder. The bonfire roared higher, and the students gathered around it, laughing and challenging each other to games of strength and speed.

Jack tried to teach Yuu how to arm-wrestle, but Yuu’s attempts were quickly interrupted by Grim, who declared himself the "strongest beast" and demanded a match with Jack. It ended with Grim flat on his back, his tail twitching indignantly as Jack chuckled.

Meanwhile, Leona watched from his spot, only getting involved when someone dared to challenge him to a game of strategy. He won every time, his smug grin growing wider with each victory.

Grim, determined to prove his worth, entered a tug-of-war contest, gripping a rope with his teeth against a team of Savanaclaw students. Yuu cheered him on, though it ended in comedic disaster when Grim’s tiny legs couldn’t hold up, and he was sent flying into a pile of hay.

As the clock neared midnight, everyone gathered closer to the bonfire. The heat was almost overwhelming, but the energy was infectious.

Leona finally rose from his spot, stretching lazily as he walked toward the fire. His presence commanded attention, and the rowdy group fell silent as he spoke.

“Here’s to another year,” he said, his voice carrying effortlessly. “Another chance to prove we’re the strongest, the smartest, and the ones to beat. Don’t slack off, and don’t waste it.”

A cheer erupted from the crowd as the countdown began. Yuu joined in, the excitement bubbling in their chest as the numbers grew louder.

“Three… two… one… Happy New Year!”

The roar of voices was matched only by the roar of the bonfire as someone threw another log onto it, sending sparks spiraling into the night sky. The celebration resumed immediately, drums beating in a rhythmic cadence as students danced around the flames.

Grim, perched on Yuu’s shoulder once more, licked a bit of stew off his paw. “Not bad, huh? We fit right in with these guys!”

Yuu laughed, watching the wild revelry unfold. Despite the chaos, the sense of camaraderie was undeniable. This was a place where strength was celebrated, where even the smallest victories mattered.

Leona passed by, his usual smirk softened just slightly. “You survived the night, herbivore. Not bad.”

“Happy New Year to you too, Leona,” Yuu replied, smiling.

As the party raged on into the early hours, Yuu found themselves feeling strangely at home among the howls, laughter, and blazing firelight. Another year had begun, and it was bound to be unforgettable.

_______________________________________________

💜Octavinelle🩶

The New Year’s celebration at Octavinelle was unlike any other, a mix of elegance and intrigue that left Yuu wondering what kind of tricks Azul and the twins had up their sleeves. The entrance to the dorm was lit with soft, bioluminescent lights that shimmered like underwater stars, casting the coral-like walls of the dorm in an otherworldly glow.

“Oi, Yuu, you sure this is a party? It looks more like one of Azul’s fancy business meetings,” Grim muttered as they stepped inside.

“I heard that,” came Azul’s smooth voice, his smile sharp as he emerged from behind a nearby pillar. “But rest assured, this is a party. Octavinelle knows how to ring in the New Year with style.”

Grim immediately perked up at the sight of a lavish buffet spread across the central lounge. Trays of fresh seafood, sparkling drinks, and desserts that glittered like gemstones covered the tables. “Now this is more like it!” Grim exclaimed, dashing toward the food.

“Don’t eat too much, or you might find yourself signing a contract,” Yuu warned, earning a laugh from Azul.

“Always so suspicious,” Azul said, adjusting his glasses. “But tonight, I’m simply a host. No contracts, I promise… unless you want one.”

The lounge was transformed into an underwater ballroom, with glassy floors reflecting the soft blue-green lights. Floyd had strung glowing jellyfish decorations from the ceiling, their tendrils swaying gently as if floating in water.

“Isn’t it so pretty, Shrimpy?” Floyd asked, suddenly appearing beside Yuu with his signature grin. “Makes you feel like you’re in the deep sea, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s amazing,” Yuu said, glancing around. “Did you help with this?”

“Nah, I just did the fun parts. Azul did all the boring stuff, like planning.” Floyd leaned closer, his mismatched eyes gleaming. “You gonna dance later? I’ll join if it looks fun.”

Before Yuu could respond, Jade approached, his posture as impeccable as ever. “Now, Floyd, don’t scare our guest. They’ve only just arrived.” He turned to Yuu with a polite smile. “Do let me know if you need anything. Tonight, we aim to ensure all our guests leave with fond memories.”

“Fond memories, huh?” Yuu said with a laugh. “I’ll hold you to that.”

As the clock crept toward midnight, the atmosphere in the lounge shifted. Azul stood at the head of the room, raising a glass as the lights dimmed, leaving only the glow of the jellyfish and the soft reflections in the glass walls.

“My dear friends and guests,” Azul began, his voice smooth and commanding, “thank you for joining us tonight. The New Year is a time for opportunity, for growth, and for making dreams come true. Let us toast to a prosperous year ahead.”

The crowd raised their glasses, and the countdown began.

“Ten… nine…”

Yuu glanced around, noting how even Floyd seemed unusually focused, his grin replaced by a curious intensity. Jade stood quietly, his sharp eyes watching everything like a predator waiting for the right moment.

“Three… two… one… Happy New Year!”

The room erupted in cheers, and the jellyfish decorations lit up brilliantly, their tendrils glowing with a soft golden hue. A gentle mist rolled over the glassy floor, making the entire lounge look like an enchanted underwater realm.

As the festivities continued, Yuu found themselves sitting with Azul at one of the quieter tables. Grim was nearby, fast asleep with a belly full of food, snoring softly.

“Enjoying yourself?” Azul asked, his voice quieter now.

“Yeah, it’s been… magical,” Yuu admitted, looking around at the elegant decorations and the laughing students. “You really know how to throw a party.”

Azul’s smile grew, though it held a hint of his usual cunning. “I’m glad to hear that. Octavinelle prides itself on offering unforgettable experiences.”

Floyd suddenly slid into the seat beside Yuu, his usual energy restored. “Shrimpy, you didn’t even dance! Next time, I’m dragging you out there.”

“Be careful with your ‘dragging,’ Floyd,” Jade said, appearing with a tray of sparkling drinks. “We wouldn’t want to scare them off before next year’s celebration.”

Yuu laughed, feeling oddly at ease despite the chaotic trio. As the party carried on, they couldn’t help but think that celebrating New Year’s in Octavinelle was like stepping into a dream—beautiful, mysterious, and just a little dangerous.

As the lights dimmed and the music softened, Yuu leaned back, watching the glittering room with a content smile. Whatever the new year brought, they were ready.

_______________________________________________

❤️Scarabia💛

The New Year’s celebration at Scarabia was a dazzling, sunlit affair that glowed with the warmth and vibrancy of its hosts. As Yuu stepped into the dorm, the rich scent of spiced tea and honeyed pastries wafted through the air, accompanied by the rhythmic beat of drums and the gentle chiming of bells.

The main courtyard had been transformed into a festival of light and color. Golden lanterns swayed gently from the tall palm trees, and colorful carpets covered the sandy ground, creating a space that was both luxurious and inviting.

“Welcome, my friend!” came Kalim’s cheerful voice, cutting through the hum of conversation and music. He bounded over, his smile as bright as the stars above. “I’m so glad you could join us! Tonight’s going to be amazing!”

Before Yuu could respond, Grim let out an excited yowl. “Look at all this food! This is my kinda party!”

Jamil appeared behind Kalim, his expression calm but with a hint of exasperation. “Kalim, maybe let them settle in before overwhelming them.” He turned to Yuu, nodding politely. “If you need anything, just let me know.”

“Thanks, Jamil,” Yuu said, glancing around. “This is incredible.”

Kalim clapped his hands together. “Then let’s make it a night to remember!”

The evening began with a feast. Long tables were laden with dishes that seemed endless: roasted meats, bowls of vibrant fruits, golden breads drizzled with honey, and desserts spiced with cinnamon and cardamom. Kalim flitted from guest to guest, making sure everyone was enjoying themselves.

“Try this!” Kalim said, handing Yuu a small bowl of something sweet and sticky. “It’s my favorite!”

Grim, meanwhile, had already piled his plate high and was halfway through a mountain of food. “This is paradise,” he said, crumbs flying everywhere.

After the feast, the courtyard came alive with music and dancing. Drummers sat in a circle, their hands moving with practiced precision, while a few students twirled in intricate patterns, their robes catching the firelight.

“Come on, Yuu! Dance with me!” Kalim said, grabbing their hand and pulling them toward the center of the courtyard.

Yuu laughed but didn’t resist, letting Kalim’s infectious energy guide them. Around them, students cheered and clapped to the rhythm, the joy in the air palpable.

Even Jamil, usually so reserved, seemed to relax. He stood at the edge of the crowd, a faint smile on his face as he watched the celebration unfold.

As midnight approached, Kalim led everyone to the highest balcony of Scarabia, where the view stretched out over the golden sands of the desert. The sky was clear, the stars shining brighter than ever.

“Okay, everyone!” Kalim said, his voice full of excitement. “It’s almost time! Let’s make a wish for the new year!”

The crowd grew quiet as the countdown began, voices echoing across the open desert.

“Ten… nine… eight…”

Yuu glanced at Kalim, who was practically bouncing with excitement, and then at Jamil, whose calm gaze softened as he looked out over the horizon.

“Three… two… one… Happy New Year!”

Cheers erupted, and Kalim threw his arms around Yuu in an exuberant hug. “Happy New Year! I just know this one’s going to be the best yet!”

Fireworks burst into the sky, painting it with shimmering golds, blues, and reds. The colors reflected off the sand, making it look like the desert itself was alight with magic.

As the celebration wound down, Yuu found themselves sitting on a soft carpet near the fire, sipping a cup of spiced tea. Grim was curled up beside them, snoring contentedly with a full belly.

Kalim plopped down next to them, his energy still unflagging. “Wasn’t that amazing? We should do this every year!”

Yuu smiled. “It was perfect. Thanks for inviting us.”

Jamil joined them, holding his own cup of tea. “Kalim may be impulsive, but he does know how to bring people together,” he admitted.

The three of them sat in comfortable silence, watching the last of the fireworks fade into the night. The desert stretched out around them, vast and timeless, a reminder of the adventures yet to come.

As Yuu leaned back against the cushions, they couldn’t help but feel a sense of peace. The new year had begun, and here, under the starlit sky of Scarabia, anything felt possible.

_______________________________________________

💜Pomefiore❤️

The New Year’s celebration at Pomefiore was nothing short of extravagant. The dorm, known for its opulence and polished charm, had been transformed into an elegant ballroom of shimmering gold and silver. Long, crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, casting soft glows that sparkled off the sleek marble floors. There was an air of refinement, a sense of quiet but undeniable luxury.

As Yuu entered, they couldn’t help but feel like they’d stepped into a fairy tale. The walls were lined with velvety curtains in shades of lavender and amethyst, and the air was perfumed with the delicate scent of floral arrangements. A string quartet played soft, classical music in the corner, providing the perfect background for the evening’s festivities.

Grim, perched on Yuu’s shoulder, let out an impressed whistle. “Wow, this place looks like a palace! Think they’ll let me eat everything in sight?”

“Don’t get any ideas,” Yuu warned, though a smile tugged at their lips.

Before they could go further into the grand hall, a voice as smooth as silk called out to them. “Ah, Yuu, you’ve arrived. Welcome to Pomefiore’s New Year’s gala.”

Yuu turned to see Vil Schoenheit, his presence immediately commanding the room. His elegant attire shimmered under the lights, his silver hair impeccably styled. He gave them a cool, perfect smile. “I trust you’re prepared for a night of refinement?”

“I’m not sure I could ever be as prepared as you,” Yuu said with a laugh, trying not to feel too out of place.

“Don’t worry,” Vil said, with a gracious tilt of his head. “Tonight is for all of us, regardless of rank or appearance. Let’s make it unforgettable, shall we?”

The evening was a whirlwind of luxury. The menu was carefully curated, with fine delicacies laid out on golden platters: foie gras, delicate pastries, and vibrant fruits from across the world. The table stretched endlessly, gleaming in the soft candlelight. Even Grim was caught in a moment of awe, though he couldn’t resist sneaking a bite of a particularly shiny pastry before Yuu could stop him.

“Grim!” Yuu hissed, but Grim only grinned around the food. “What? I’m just enjoying the refined cuisine,” he said, his mouth full.

As the night went on, Pomefiore’s guests mingled, their laughter and chatter soft and refined, fitting the tone of the dorm. Vil moved among the crowd, exchanging words with students, offering quiet compliments, and keeping the atmosphere impeccably elegant. He spoke to each person like they were the most important guest, making everyone feel like they belonged in such a stunning setting.

Yuu, on the other hand, found themselves lost in the glamour of it all. Rook Hunt appeared beside them, his gaze sharp and observant as always. “Ah, mon cher Yuu! I see you are entranced by the beauty of this evening. But one cannot merely admire—one must partake! There are many moments waiting to be captured in this night’s story.”

“I’m not sure if I’m ready for all that,” Yuu chuckled, glancing around. “This is… a lot.”

“But of course! The world of Pomefiore can be overwhelming, but I believe you have the heart of an adventurer. Embrace it! Let us enjoy tonight’s splendor.”

As the clock neared midnight, the lights dimmed, and the guests gathered around a large fountain at the center of the hall. It was decorated with crystal ice sculptures and surrounded by a circle of delicate candles. The air was filled with the soft sound of a string quartet playing a slow, melodic tune.

Vil stood at the front, raising his glass. “To a new year,” he began, his voice steady and commanding. “A year where we all rise to greater heights, where beauty and grace continue to shine in everything we do. Let’s make this year unforgettable.”

Everyone raised their glasses, their expressions solemn, but filled with hope. The countdown began.

“Ten… nine…”

Yuu glanced at Grim, who was standing next to them, nervously eyeing the sparkling drink in front of him. “You’re not planning to drink that, are you?” Yuu asked, though they already knew the answer.

“Who, me? Nah, I’m just admiring it. But if I accidentally spill some…” Grim said with a sly grin.

“Three… two… one… Happy New Year!”

As the clock struck midnight, fireworks erupted outside the windows, lighting up the night sky with brilliant bursts of color. The guests cheered, their faces illuminated in the reflection of the fireworks. A soft warmth spread through the room, and even Vil allowed himself a rare, genuine smile.

The rest of the evening unfolded in a graceful rhythm. Guests danced slowly to the music, the atmosphere serene and elegant. Rook had already started capturing moments on his camera, whispering quietly about finding the perfect angle.

Yuu, feeling a sense of peace amidst the lavish surroundings, found themselves standing by the fountain with Vil.

“Thank you for letting us be a part of this,” Yuu said, their voice soft but sincere.

Vil looked over at them, his smile a mixture of pride and something gentler. “It was my pleasure. This night was about more than just perfection—it was about celebrating the efforts of everyone here, no matter how small.”

As the night wore on, Yuu found themselves at ease, surrounded by a group of people who valued beauty, elegance, and their own quiet strength. The grand celebration had felt like something out of a dream, and as the final notes of music played, they realized the true gift of the evening was the chance to experience something so rare—an unforgettable New Year, spent with the unforgettable people of Pomefiore.

_______________________________________________

💙Ignihyde🖤

The New Year’s celebration at Ignihyde was unlike any other. The dorm, typically dark and quiet, had transformed into a cozy and peculiar space, suited to its inhabitants’ unique charm. The fluorescent lights cast a cool, neon glow over the rooms, giving the atmosphere a digital, almost virtual feel. There were no grand decorations, no lavish feasts—but the sense of camaraderie was there, in its own, understated way.

Yuu entered, Grim on their shoulder, looking around the familiar but surprisingly festive space. Large monitors displayed dynamic, colorful graphics, almost like a tech-themed fireworks show, while soft, ambient music filled the background, perfectly balanced for a calm yet engaging evening.

“Yuu! Grim!” Idia Shroud’s voice echoed from the other side of the room, and Yuu turned to see him sitting at a desk, his face illuminated by the glow of a screen. His usual hoodie was replaced with a slightly fancier version, though it still carried the same signature digital motif. “Come in! It’s time to start the…uh, the celebration!”

“Looks pretty low-key,” Yuu said, taking in the quiet room. There were a few chairs scattered around, and some digital party games set up on various screens. It was clear Idia wasn’t one for grandiose gatherings, but the effort was there.

“I—I tried! I thought maybe a virtual New Year’s event would be cool, so I’ve got a bunch of online games set up for everyone to play together,” Idia explained, fidgeting nervously. “I mean, it’s not like…uh, Pomefiore’s or anything, but I think it’ll be fun!”

Grim sniffed the air and immediately noticed a tray of snacks. “I’m sold. No fancy parties, but the snacks are top-tier!”

Yuu chuckled as Grim bounded over to grab a handful of chips. “Well, you know how to keep Grim happy.”

While most of the dorm’s activities were centered around virtual games, there was an undeniable charm to how things unfolded. Idia introduced the group to a series of multiplayer games, each more ridiculous than the last. Some involved outrageous challenges, others were simple strategy games, but all of them carried Idia’s signature flair for creating unique experiences.

Despite the digital nature of the event, there was something almost personal about it. Idia had carefully chosen each game to ensure everyone could participate without feeling overwhelmed. Even Grim, though clumsy, found himself absorbed in a silly online battle.

“Take that!” Grim yelled, pointing at the screen, where his character was decimating the competition. “I’m invincible!”

Yuu laughed, sitting next to Idia, who was engrossed in his own gaming session. “You really put a lot of effort into this, didn’t you?”

“I guess so,” Idia muttered, his voice slightly embarrassed. “I mean, I didn’t want it to be, like, boring. I know I'm not great at throwing parties in real life, but I can at least set up something fun in the digital world.”

“You’ve done a great job,” Yuu said, genuinely impressed by the thought he’d put into it. “It’s a nice change of pace.”

As midnight approached, the mood shifted. The game paused momentarily, and everyone gathered in front of a large screen where Idia had set up a countdown timer. The numbers ticked down slowly, almost like a ticking clock in an old video game. There was a brief pause before Idia, suddenly realizing it was almost time, quickly scrambled to adjust a few settings.

“Alright! We’re almost there! Time to celebrate!” Idia said, his voice a little shaky, but there was a sparkle of excitement behind it.

Grim let out an exaggerated yawn, rolling over onto the couch. “Ugh, it’s already past midnight? Is this party even real?”

“Grim!” Yuu scolded lightly, but then smiled.

With only moments left, the countdown continued, and the screen filled with bright, digital fireworks. Idia, perhaps realizing he had created the perfect balance of his own personal style, finally allowed himself to relax. The display of colorful pixels on the screen reminded everyone that despite the low-key atmosphere, it was a shared experience.

“Five… four… three… two… one… Happy New Year!”

The room was filled with the sound of digital fireworks, and Idia quietly let out a sigh of relief.

“Happy New Year, Yuu… Grim,” he muttered, glancing up from his screen to smile shyly. “Thanks for spending it with me.”

As the digital fireworks faded, the group lingered for a while longer, chatting about their favorite games and laughing at each other’s in-game antics. Idia, still a little socially awkward, seemed at ease, his shoulders relaxed. He had succeeded in making the night memorable—just in his own way.

Yuu leaned back in their chair, content, watching the digital world they had all entered. It may not have been the most traditional New Year’s celebration, but it was still meaningful. A quiet, digital kind of joy surrounded them, the perfect blend of gaming and companionship.

“Best New Year’s party ever,” Grim muttered from the couch, already half-asleep from all the excitement.

Idia’s face flushed slightly at the compliment. “Thanks, Grim…” He paused for a moment before adding, “Next year, I’ll make it even better. Maybe with VR, and… oh, I could probably add a few more mini-games too!”

Yuu chuckled softly, glancing at Idia, who was now enthusiastically brainstorming ideas. They couldn't help but smile, realizing that despite his quirky, introverted nature, Idia had created something truly special.

The night was winding down, but the warmth of the celebration lingered in the air. And as Yuu looked around at their friends in Ignihyde, they couldn’t help but feel that the New Year had arrived in its own, perfectly imperfect way.

_______________________________________________

💚Diasomnia🖤

The New Year’s celebration at Diasomnia was unlike any other. The ancient, mysterious dorm, draped in deep shades of violet and black, carried an aura of quiet grandeur. The towering stone walls, adorned with arcane symbols, seemed to hum with magic. Outside, the night was clear, the stars above casting a serene glow over the quiet expanse of the forest. The air in the dorm was cool and crisp, tinged with the scent of pine and earth, and the atmosphere was more subdued than the boisterous celebrations at other dorms.

Yuu stepped through the heavy, ornate doors, feeling the weight of the space. The grand hall was lit with soft, flickering candlelight that illuminated the elegant, gothic architecture. The space was almost otherworldly, filled with rich tapestries depicting ancient dragons, fey creatures, and legendary battles.

Grim, perched on Yuu’s shoulder, let out a low whistle. “This place is kinda creepy, huh? But also… kinda cool.”

“Definitely a lot quieter than the others,” Yuu said, scanning the room.

Just as they stepped further into the hall, a figure appeared from the shadows. Malleus Draconia, the dorm leader, stood tall with an air of quiet authority. His deep green eyes glinted in the candlelight, and his dark, regal attire seemed to blend seamlessly with the atmosphere around him. A faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he approached.

“Ah, Yuu. Grim,” Malleus greeted in his usual low, commanding voice. “Welcome to our humble celebration. It’s good to see you here.”

Yuu smiled warmly, though they couldn’t help but feel a little out of place in the grand and mysterious surroundings. “Thanks for inviting us. It’s beautiful in here.”

“We may not have the grandiose parties of other dorms, but I believe we can find joy in quieter moments,” Malleus replied, his gaze steady and sincere. “Tonight, we shall celebrate the passing of the old year in our own way.”

The gathering in Diasomnia was intimate, with only a few familiar faces present. The table was set with simple, elegant dishes—dark bread, rich cheeses, and roasted meats, complemented by chilled wines and herbal teas. A small group of students sat nearby, enjoying the subdued conversation, while the room’s serene ambiance allowed them to feel comfortable in each other’s presence.

As the evening wore on, Malleus remained a composed figure in the room, exchanging quiet words with those who spoke to him. Lilia Vanrouge, on the other hand, was far more animated, though his lively energy still carried an eerie sense of mischief. His laughter echoed off the stone walls as he interacted with everyone, occasionally darting between guests like a playful shadow.

“You two finally made it! I thought you’d be lost in the forest on your way here,” Lilia teased, his sharp eyes glinting as he approached Yuu and Grim.

“We got here just fine,” Yuu replied with a chuckle. “The path was a little dark, though.”

“It’s always dark around here,” Grim muttered. “Everything feels like it’s from some creepy fairytale.”

“Ah, but that’s the beauty of it, isn’t it?” Lilia grinned. “The world outside may be bright and loud, but here, we can enjoy the silence and find peace in the quiet.”

As the night deepened, the members of Diasomnia shared quiet stories of the past—tales of dragons, forgotten kings, and ancient magic. Malleus spoke sparingly, but when he did, the others listened intently. His words carried weight, as if his very presence commanded attention.

As midnight approached, the atmosphere shifted subtly. The sounds of soft conversations faded, replaced by a growing sense of anticipation. Malleus stood by the grand fireplace, his silhouette outlined by the flickering flames.

Yuu, who had been admiring the view through the large, arched windows, turned back to find Lilia next to them. “You seem a little… out of place. Not used to the quiet?”

Yuu shrugged, a little embarrassed. “It’s different. But in a good way. It’s nice to slow down for a change.”

Lilia smiled knowingly. “That’s what this night is about, after all—reflection, renewal. The year has passed, and the future lies ahead. It’s important to remember both the calm and the storm, for they shape who we are.”

As the clock neared midnight, the room fell still, everyone gathering in a quiet circle. Malleus raised a glass, his deep voice breaking the silence.

“May this new year bring prosperity to us all, and may the strength of the old ways guide us forward. Let us raise our glasses to the passing year and the promise of the future.”

The clock struck midnight. The room was filled with the soft clink of glasses as they toasted, and outside, a series of ethereal lights began to flicker across the sky. The stars above seemed to shine brighter than before, and the forest around Diasomnia shimmered with a subtle, magical glow.

As the night continued, Yuu found themselves at the edge of the grand hall, looking out through the open doors at the snow-covered trees and the flickering lights in the distance. It was as if the entire world had paused for a moment, offering them a chance to simply exist in the stillness.

Lilia appeared beside them, his voice soft. “It’s rare to see this kind of peace in our lives, isn’t it? We live so fast, chasing after the next thing. But sometimes, you need to pause and just breathe.”

Yuu nodded, the weight of the evening settling around them. “I think I understand now. It’s not about the noise or the big celebrations. It’s about finding the beauty in the quiet moments, too.”

The two stood there in companionable silence, watching the world outside. Malleus eventually joined them, his presence calming and steady. “The year is a cycle, Yuu. A beginning and an end, like the turning of a wheel. Let us cherish both moments, for each is fleeting.”

Yuu smiled, grateful for the quiet wisdom that came from the people of Diasomnia. The New Year had arrived, not with fanfare or fireworks, but with the peaceful embrace of time itself. In the heart of the forest, surrounded by ancient magic, Yuu felt like they had found something far more valuable than mere celebration—they had found a sense of belonging.

_______________________________________________

🤎Ramshackle🖤

The New Year’s Eve celebration at Ramshackle Dorm was unlike anything Yuu had ever experienced. It wasn’t glamorous or flashy like the parties at the other dorms, nor was it as quiet and mysterious as the one in Diasomnia. Instead, the evening was filled with a peculiar charm—a mixture of ghostly antics, eerie laughter, and an atmosphere that could only be described as “comfortably chaotic.”

Yuu walked through the crooked halls of the dorm, which, despite its disarray, had a certain warmth to it. The cobwebs on the ceilings and the creaking floorboards were familiar now, and the flickering candles and broken chandeliers only added to the odd coziness of the place.

“Looks like the place is ready for something,” Yuu muttered, adjusting the collar of their jacket as they glanced around.

Grim, perched on Yuu’s shoulder, squinted suspiciously at the dim-lit corners. “You sure it’s safe? I’m starting to think those ghosts are up to something.”

“I don’t think they’d hurt us,” Yuu replied with a half-smile. “But let’s keep an eye out just in case.”

Just as Yuu was about to head further into the building, they were greeted by a faint, soft giggle. The sound echoed through the hall, and before they could react, a faint, translucent figure appeared before them.

“Oh! You’re here!” Spade, one of the friendly ghosts, floated up excitedly, his translucent body shimmering in the candlelight. “We were just waiting for you. We’ve got the best plans for tonight!”

Yuu raised an eyebrow but smiled warmly. “Plans? You mean the ghosts have plans for the New Year?”

“Well, not exactly the normal plans,” Spade giggled mischievously. “But it’ll be fun! We’ll have games, some stories, and a little bit of spooky fun to welcome the new year! You’ll see!”

As the evening progressed, Yuu found themselves swept up in the strange and whimsical festivities organized by the ghosts of Ramshackle Dorm. It wasn’t a grand banquet or a glamorous ball, but the night had a distinct charm. The ghosts were quite the hosts, although their way of celebrating was... well, unorthodox.

There were haunting games—one involved bobbing for apples that turned out to be more challenging than expected, as they floated just out of reach, taunting Yuu and Grim. Another game had them trying to solve riddles posed by the resident ghost, Ace, who loved to pop up unexpectedly and demand an answer to some eerie puzzle. His voice echoed and changed pitch as it bounced off the walls, giving an unsettling effect to his otherwise playful tone.

“We have to figure out who is the quickest at finding the haunted objects hidden around the dorm,” Ace said, floating upside-down in front of them, his ghostly form twisting and turning in the air. “First one to find the cursed mirror wins!”

Grim jumped to his feet, eyes wide. “A cursed mirror? That sounds like a trap!”

Yuu couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s probably just an old mirror. Let’s just go with it.”

As the night wore on, the ghostly games got stranger and stranger, but they never lost their appeal. There was dancing, though it wasn’t quite what you’d expect. The ghosts floated around, creating ethereal patterns in the air, while Yuu and Grim attempted a few wobbly steps, trying to mimic the movements.

Laughter echoed through the halls, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Yuu felt genuinely at ease in the odd, haunting dorm. Even the creaky floors seemed to welcome them, rather than be a nuisance.

The final moments of the year approached, and the ghosts seemed to grow more animated. Grim, who had been getting more into the spirit of things (and more than a little excited about the ghost-themed treats), was bouncing around, yelling out to anyone who would listen.

“Midnight’s coming! Midnight’s coming! What happens when it strikes?” Grim demanded, looking between the others as if expecting them to know.

“Relax, Grim. It’s not like there’s a curse tied to it,” Yuu said, though they were just a little nervous themselves.

The main gathering area was bathed in soft, flickering candlelight as everyone prepared for the midnight countdown. The ghosts, all gathered in a circle, held their hands—translucent or otherwise—together.

“Ten... nine...”

As the countdown continued, the atmosphere shifted. Despite the mischief and lighthearted pranks, there was a palpable sense of anticipation. The ghosts were just as excited as anyone else for the new year. Their giggles faded into soft murmurs, their eyes glowing with a mix of excitement and something deeper—a hope that the year to come would be one filled with new memories.

“Three... two... one... Happy New Year!”

At the stroke of midnight, an eerie but warm mist filled the room. The lights from the candles flickered brightly, casting a soft glow around everyone. A strange, magical sound, like a chorus of voices whispering in the wind, filled the space. The ghosts cheered, floating in circles, as fireworks without the usual noise erupted outside, casting a soft, glittering light through the windows.

Grim, looking up at the fireworks, beamed. “Now this is what I’m talking about!”

Yuu smiled, feeling a surge of warmth. It wasn’t the most conventional New Year’s celebration, but it was filled with something even more precious: the laughter and joy of friends, old and new. The ghosts of Ramshackle, in all their otherworldly eccentricities, had made sure the night was one Yuu would never forget.

As the final sparkles of the magical fireworks faded, the ghosts of Ramshackle Dorm returned to their usual ethereal, almost sleepy selves. The night was winding down, but the echoes of the evening’s fun lingered in the air.

Spade floated up to Yuu and Grim, a grin wide on his face. “Did you enjoy our celebration? It may not have been as flashy as the others, but we sure know how to throw a spooky, fun party!”

“It was… definitely something else,” Yuu said, glancing at Grim, who was still nibbling on ghostly sweets that had appeared out of nowhere.

“You can say that again!” Grim added with a grin, wiping his mouth. “Best food and the spookiest fireworks!”

Laughter filled the room once more, and as the clock ticked away the final moments of the night, Yuu realized that the ghosts had given them a gift that couldn’t be replicated—memories forged in an unforgettable, hauntingly joyful New Year’s celebration. In the end, they didn’t need all the glitz and glamour. The eerie charm of Ramshackle Dorm was all they needed to welcome the new year with a heart full of warmth and laughter.

[zzbubblegumbitchzz]

teach me? // Quinn Hughes

a drunk conversation leaves your best friend wondering.

AN: based off this anon, this is the first of a few ideas i have for this topic so enjoy part one!🫶🏻

WC: 1.1k

CW: smut, quinn talks you through it, fem masturbating, a little bit of possessive quinn.

Quinn knows he should leave, he knows he shouldn't break your trust and listen but his feet won't move. He can hear your giggles, not a sign of discomfort in the conversation. A drastic difference from anytime you've been around the guys when these topics are brought up.

“y/n! Are you telling me you’ve never gotten off?!” There was another laugh, he couldn't tell who. Too focused on your answer. How could no one treat you right? No one’s found pleasure between your thighs? Tragedy for them, he thought to himself.

“Oh my god, no. I have gotten off, just not manually? If that makes sense. Like, no one else. No hands, nothing but the handy dandy vibrator.”

He needed to leave, his mind wandering and he knew all the guys would just chirp at him if he walked back with a hard on.

Everyone started to slowly make their way to bed, calling it a night yourself around 1:30. Your room right across from Quinn’s. You knew he was already locked away, trying your best to stay quiet while you were in and out of the bathroom that shared a wall.

Finally settling in your bed and grabbing your phone, seeing a text from Quinn. Come here, please. Followed with another text, Don't knock, just come in.

“Hi Q.” He was quick to pat his bed, “I need to ask you something, and you can tell me no or to fuck off and I wont ever bring it up again. I just, I need to ask.” You nodded at the man, who's now pacing. “I’m telling on myself and I'm sorry in advance. I was walking by when you and the girls were chatting and somethings been stuck in my head since and it makes me feel so bad because you absolutely don't deserve that kind of shit treatment. Oh god, I'm rambling. Anyways, no one ever made you cum? I can show you, oh my god I need to shut up.”

Your face was flushed, your nerves were setting in. Did Quinn just offer to get me off?

As if he could read my mind, “I don’t have to do it! I can just tell you what to do. Like you get yourself off and I just kind of lead the way.”

“You wanna teach me how to make myself cum?” Your voice was small, he was sure if he wasn’t staring at you he wouldn’t have heard. He nodded.

“Yeah, okay. Teach me, Quinny.”

That dumb conversation led you here. On his bed, pj shorts on the floor, legs spread and Quinn watching you from his desk chair.

You were both giggly about it. The nerves settled, it seemed a little funny, silly even. But he's your best friend. Who cares? All bad thoughts went away the second your legs spread and the man's eyes went a little wide, pupils blown as he watched your hand roam down your body.

“Fuck. You’re pretty.” He whispered to himself.

This wasn't sexy, well it wasn't meant to be, at least to your brain.

“Uh, like this?" you asked, a little embarrassed. "Fuck, this is stupid."

You were against his pillows, unable to fully look at Quinn who was still at his desk, starry eyes watching you intently.

Your hand was down the front of your body, shaky fingers searching for something you shared you'd never been able to achieve on your own.

Quinn adjusted himself, his growing cock pressed against the fabric of his shorts. Forever wishing he put on boxers before you came to his room.

He didn't know the rules when it came to getting yourself off in front of your best friend. So he kept it a little light, laughed breathily and asked, "Are you even touching your clit?”

His words ran through you, a simple question truly but it was bordering on the dirty talk you desperately craved to come from his mouth.

You squirmed, shrugging, but he was watching your hand move, content with seeing your fingers moving through your folds.

"I think so?" you claimed. "I don't know. It's just, it's too wet to feel anything really."

Quinn felt his breath get stuck in his throat.

You finally looked up at his face and watched his cheeks burn, wondering if he'd move closer if you asked him to.

You dont know what fell out of your mouth, your brain is just on autopilot. Quinn’s now at the edge of his bed. Hands holding your ankle, rubbing softly.

"No, I know. fuck, um-" Quinn swallowed, shifting again. "Move in circles, be a bit softer. Fuck, sweetheart. Yeah, you'll feel it."

So you did, two fingers exploring slowly, up and down between your folds, moving a little higher until you reached the spot he was just picking on you for, the pads of your middle and pointer touching a little bump that made your breath hitch.

“There you go, just like that.” He spoke.

You laughed to yourself, feeling stupid, and floaty, searching for that high. You crinkled your nose, as you did slow circles, soft and shy.

"Oh," you mumbled, mouth parting slightly. Still watching Quinn. He pressed his lips together, eyes flickering from your hand to your face.

"Yeah? Does that feel good?"

"Uh huh, feels good."

You thought you heard him let out a groan.

"Will I come?" you asked, still feeling small. "If I keep doing this?"

You were squirming again, moaning softly, chasing your high. He was watching you, open mouthed.

He was too far gone to try and hide it anymore, when he dragged his palm over himself, you moaned, eyes following his movements.

"Yeah, fuck. just keep doing that. Do what feels good, okay?" voice hoarse and wrecked, "you're doing so good, baby."

The praise made your hips lift from the bed a little, fingers moving down a little further, confidence building as Quinn kept rubbing over his cock, "Holy shit, that's fucking hot. You gonna show me how tight you are?" he croaked.

"Uh huh", head tipped back into the pillows. you wanted him to keep talking. You just didn't know how to ask him.

Your foot slipped, bumping into Quinn’s arm and he caught your ankle, wide palm wrapping around as he held you, making you shiver. "Oh, there you go," he murmured. "That's it, baby. Fuck, you're so good. Gonna have to stretch you out more if you ever want me in there, baby. Fuck. Can't believe you're gonna let me watch you cum. Gonna be a good girl and show me how bad you want it? Won't ever need anyone else after this. Just me and you."

[steddiealltheway]

Steve sighs as Robin cackles and opens the door to the break room to add yet another tally to the “You Suck” side of her whiteboard. He hopes she lingers for a bit so he can get a break from the constant reminder that yes, he does suck. But the stupid hat and sailor uniform is enough of a reminder already.

And okay, maybe he enjoys Robin’s company a little bit, so maybe he doesn’t want her to linger for too long.

But he’ll never tell her that. Not in a million years.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spots someone walk into the entrance and he turns to give his “ahoy there” speech that Robin refuses to utter a single word of. Only, he gets a little choked up when he realizes he knows the person.

Well, not exactly knows him. But it’s hard not to know of Eddie “The Freak” Munson. Especially if you go to high school with him and happen to be a jock, god forbid. Not that Steve ever disagreed with the things he said, although some of it went right over his head - okay, most of it did. But! All things said, Eddie had a habit of making himself known to people.

“Ahoy there!” Steve announces louder than intended. “Would you like to set sail on this ocean of flavor with me? I’ll be your captain.” He leaves out his name because what’s the point? It’s not like Eddie isn’t aware of his existence or at least his last name which sometimes made a feature in his tabletop speeches.

“Steve Harrington,” Eddie says for him, apparently knowing his first name. “I didn’t expect to see you here.” Surprisingly, it’s not said in complete distaste. In fact, Eddie is smiling widely at him, eyes roaming over the uniform and landing on the hat.

Steve sighs, “Trust me, I know. So, what can I get for you today?”

Eddie smiles wickedly and asks, “Why don’t we set sail on this ocean of flavor and you can show me around, captain?”

A blush creeps its way up Steve’s neck and begins to burn at his cheeks. Probably from the humiliation. Nevertheless, he points out each different flavor and goes into detail about what’s in each since Eddie seems to be enjoying the humiliation, but Steve doesn’t mind it too much since he feels like he’s getting his undivided attention. And something about that makes Steve feel… less sucky.

He glances up at the end of his speech about the last flavor and catches Eddie staring at him with a small smile on his face, more genuine than before.

“What?” Steve can’t help but ask.

Eddie shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says, but the lie is clear to both of them. “I’ll get the USS Butterscotch.”

Something about the flavor makes Steve hesitate.

“What?” Eddie asks this time, slightly defensive.

“Nothing,” Steve says with a shake of his head. “Cup or cone?”

Eddie laughs, “Come on, you can’t do that.”

“Do what?”

Eddie gestures at him. “Make that face and then pretend like you weren’t thinking anything.”

Steve raises his eyebrows at him. “And you can?”

Eddie’s mouth opens and closes a few times before he leans across the top of the glass dramatically and puts his head in his hands. “I’ll get a cone please.”

Something about the image makes Steve laugh as he grabs a cone and scoop, making the order for Eddie. "You know." he says, wishing the ice cream was the slightest bit softer, "I was expecting you to get something like death by chocolate or coffee."

"Why's that?" Eddie asks curiously.

Steve glances up at him and shrugs. “Those flavors are more…” he struggles to find the right word.

“Metal?” Eddie asks, sounding almost hopeful.

“Exactly.”

The smile on his face grows. “Well, I’m glad you see me as someone metal, Steve. But what, just because you’re a jock, I’m supposed to expect you to like some gross flavor like bubblegum?”

Steve frowns. “I like bubblegum ice cream.”

Eddie sighs and runs his hands over his face. “Of course you do.” He takes a moment to look over Steve again. “But looking at you now, I’d assume your favorite flavor would be the USS butterscotch.”

“Because of the stupid hat, right?” Steve asks as he drizzles extra caramel on the top of the cone.

“I think the hat is cute,” Eddie replies.

The comment sends Steve’s heart into a bit of a frenzy for a moment before he collects himself and hands the cone over in exchange for the bill in Eddie’s hand. He counts the change two times, trying to make sure he doesn’t make a mistake as a bunch of panicky thoughts go through his head. He hands the change over quickly but hesitates when Eddie stares at it and frowns. “Something wrong?” Steve asks.

Eddie glances up at the menu, down at his change, and takes a moment before saying, “Sorry, you just charged me for a single scoop when this is a double with an extra topping.”

Steve frowns and looks at the cone. “The topping is on the house, but that’s a single scoop.”

Eddie glances up at him and raises his eyebrows.

“A generous single scoop,” Steve corrects himself.

There’s a pause before Eddie’s smile widens, and the corners of his eyes crinkle up cutely. “I think i just found my new favorite ice cream place.”

Steve laughs, “Better than Linda’s Ice Cream Parlor?”

“Linda would call this a triple scoop and wouldn’t give me a topping but she would still make me pay the extra just for asking,” Eddie complains with a smile.

“Well, I would never do that to you.”

“Is that so?” Eddie asks, leaning forward a bit.

Steve’s eyes glance down at Eddie’s lips momentarily as he tries to come up with a response.

“Hey dingus, there was a horrible delivery you missed…” Robin trails off as she looks between the two, effectively ruining the moment.

“See you around, Harrington,” Eddie says with a wink, tongue darting out and gathering up a bit of white ice cream and letting it disappear into his mouth.

Steve feels a familiar heat in the pit of his stomach and nearly groans. Instead he hurriedly tells Robin, “I’m taking my break!” And effectively ignores the look she’s giving him.

Back in the break room, Steve walks up to the board and stares at it, glancing at the “You Rule” column and whispering, “Almost,” before sighing and putting his head in his hands.

He can’t believe that Eddie Munson is sending him into a sexuality crisis. Yet, he hopes he comes back often the rest of summer. And maybe he’ll finally be able to get that “You Rule” tally.

[brittle-doughie]

Can you write a story on the aftermath of Y/n cookie "Taking on" Mystic Flour cookie.

basically mystic joining the y/n kingdom after ..that

“Y/N Cookie, are you alright?”

“Yeah, fine as I’ll ever be!”

“So how was your…battle with Mystic Flour Cookie?”

“Turns out, she really needed someone to talk to about her and hold from time to time, even powerful cookies like her needed a shoulder to lean on every now and then..”

“Oh, it was that kind of battle. With the way you and her were talking about it, I thought it would be more like…”

“No? What did you think I was talking about when I said I was going to take her on?”

“It’s..nothing.”

“Hmm…alright. Although, Mystic Flour Cookie did enjoy our conversation and would like to do so again, therefore, she’ll be heading to the Cookie Kingdom with me.”

“What?! Her in YOUR kingdom?! Do you not see how dangerous that can be?!”

“Don’t be so surprised when it comes to Y/N Cookie, they already have so many following under them, including you. What’s one more to you?”

“As if I’ll allow you to be in the same continent as them! How do I know you won’t try to corrupt them into your sly and foul ways!?”

“I have come to this conclusion after my conversation with them and realized that it was futile to deny what I wished from them. Just like how it’s useless to try and away my decision, I have already gathered my things….”

“Is this really the path you want to take, Y/N Cookie? Having a Beast in your Kingdom that could harm your subjects at a moment’s notice?”

“She was genuine in our conversations, I want to trust her..”

“…If you insist. But heed my words, I will not hesitate to cut her down if she ever tries anything!”

“I won’t bring harm to their cookies nor to Y/N Cookie, I promise…”

“Fine, but I have my eye on you, Beast…I do not want to hear about you causing them ANY trouble…”

“I’m glad you’re onboard with this, Dark Cacao Cookie. I knew you had faith in me.”

“Just..be careful, Y/N Cookie. I’d hate to see you hurt…”

“Thank you….now can you help me with Mystic Flour’s luggage? She says her frail hands are too weak to carry!”

“Seriously?”

“Hehehe….”

[s-lorelei]

I personally feel like Harry Potter is one of those franchises that's been practically corrupted by its fandom.

The fandom should respect the author, but doesn’t.

The fandom has people in it who say:

"I don't trust JKR with her own Intellectual Property."

"She doesn't know anything about the Marauders. The world and characters belong to us now."

"She would just make all the Marauders straight, white, and cis." (Not everything has to be gay? Wtf)

It's HER story. None of you children (or adults with immature minds) have any right to say that she doesn't know her characters. If she hadn't written them in the first place, you'd have nothing to do, would you? There would be no wolfstar or jegulus or marauders era to begin with.

And you guys do understand that Regulus is fucking dead, right? James and Lily got married. Remus and Tonks had Teddy. Sirius was too focused on the delusion that he thought he got his best friend back (through Harry) to give a shit about Remus. Evan Rosier was never important to the plot. Lily is actually an important character. "Pandora" Lovegood doesn't exist in the books (her name is never mentioned except on Pottermore), and, no, she isn't Evan's twin so stfu. Marlene McKinnon is mentioned once (and it's implied that she married a man). Y'all can't even get Dorcas Meadowes's name correct.

The amount of canon-divergence absurdity in fanon culture is appalling.

...

Name mention counter (in the books):

Marlene McKinnon: 1 (twice if you consider "the McKinnons" as a mention)

Pandora Lovegood: 0

Evan Rosier: 1

Dorcas Meadowes: 1

Grant Chapman: 0 (because he is an OC/self-insert)

Mary Macdonald: 1 (in a flashback)

...

Like- there is absolutely no miniscule amount of evidence that Wolfstar could've ever been anything other than old friends. I wish you guys could see that and stop making up plots and delusional headcanons. (And just because headcanons are what "you believe/think about a character" doesn't mean they don't have to be logical and actually fit into the canon story, so I don’t wanna hear it.) 🙄

And before you tell me "if you don't like it then don't read it"— I don't "read it." I don't read ATYD or Crimson Rivers or Art Heist or whatever other fics are out there that you've decided is canon now. I read the real story, y'know, the seven, very much canon, books. And I was gonna read ATYD, but once I found out how y'all treat it as the Holy Grail of the 1970s Wizarding World, I decided it wasn't my cup of tea because I want to read a fic that is canon-compliant, that doesn't push every hot character into a gay relationship, that doesn't have explicit sex involving minors, that doesn't have self-inserts..

Thanks for reading all this if you did.

(This is me venting because I hate so much of fanon and I'm about to crash out.)

If you don't agree or have nothing nice to say about this post, move along and kindly do not engage. Thank you.

[cosmicbyeol]

𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 : 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛

take this however it resonates.

calm down and take deep breaths.

pick an image!! each corresponds with a pile.

♥︎ pile 1. Luther – Kendrick Lamar & SZA

hey…

all though you’re strong… there’s no doubt about that, we have to choose and pick our battles correctly. we can win for sure. don’t get me wrong. but there’s consequences if we choose the wrong one. not everyone is worth our spark, not everyone is worth our fire. and who do we look like wasting it. it sure as hell ain’t us. that’s for sure.

we’ve worked so hard to get were we are. everyone who says “working hard or hardly working” irks me. but alas, we should take a break. we need to take a break. it’s so close. the sweet sweet time off. it’s time to sit back and relax. take that time off work. it’s time to treat yourself, we have the right of way.

we’ve got everything that we’ve ever wished for and maybe more further in the future. we have all these things and gifts. I think we should share them. what do you think about that? everyone needs help every once and a while. but be careful with who you give it to. some people could drain you for all our worth and then we’d be left with nothing.

we’ll learn to use our gifts a little later, you’ll develop the energy to be the light around people. you’re energy might be in you now, it’s just a little hidden. but once you get the hang off it and tap into it, people will feel like they can do anything when they’re around you. you make them feel like they’re strong and powerful too. but again make sure you’re around the right people.

you have a select few or a small group of people that are good for you. you love them and they love you too. some celebration is in order. maybe an anniversary or an accomplishment is coming up or in the future. it’s good to celebrate closeness or a bond. you’d do anything for them in your power, and they should be able to do the same.

it’s okay to stand your ground. it’s okay to be outspoken, especially if it’s something you believe. especially if it’s about you and your wellbeing. I just want to see you win. you have the tools and your soul in your corner. fight for yourself with your whole being. you’re ready. stand up for yourself. You’ve got this!!

it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. and it’s okay to tell someone about it. someone you trust, someone who won’t judge you.

♥︎ pile 2. 30 for 30 – SZA & Kendrick Lamar

hey boo! ,

it’s confirmed. we’re not for everyone. and that’s okay. people are meant to be in and out of your life. we have the strength and power to overcome anything. why would we settle for less huh? we don’t need someone that’s going to treat us like shit, we don’t need someone that wouldn’t tend to us and our needs. we don’t need someone that won’t do what we would do for them. we’re stronger than that. it’s been put in our heads that we deserve below the minimum. we’ll never be at peace.

we should should learn to love yourself and our being before going to someone else to seek what we need. find that feeling you need in yourself first, before you give it to someone else. learn your worth know that you’re worth more than anything you could imagine. you’re worth more than that person you think is treating you right. KNOW YOUR WORTH DON’T YOU DARE SETTLE FOR LESS!!

learn how to love you!! take yourself out on a solo date. learn about yourself. learning and knowing yourself can take years, but at least you have somewhere to start. you’ll feel a little less lost. learning about ourself is the best thing we can do. it’s the best thing we could do for us and the people around us that truly care about us.

you don’t have to be with a partner or a significant other to have a good time. go out with your friends. go have that girls/boys/theys night. celebrate finding yourself and dumping that piece of trash. I know they didn’t let you go out. treat yourself.

with this new mindset you’ll do wonders. you won’t ever settle for less again. promise you’ll stand up for us, make more buzz and be a boss. never settle for less than your worth. WIPE THEM DOWN. ( but don’t go to jail! )

♥︎ pile 3. miracle – wayv

hey bestie ,

we need to learn to love ourself. and we need to learn about ourselves too. how else can we ascend? how else can we exist in that plane? how can we peacefully open our eye? we need to learn about us before we can start our journey, we can’t open doors if they’re locked. we can’t enter windows either. no hidden doors will work. “dreams can take you far, find out who you really are”

I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this, but to open these doors we can’t hang on to everybody. we can’t hang on to certain places or people. you can’t grow in a place with no water and no lights. you need to make that decision for yourself. no one else can make it for you. only you can give yourself water and light. and maybe plant food.

you definitely have the strength to grow and take yourself to a whole new level. you have the power to transcend all the things you deem “meaningless”, to reach that orbit. to replenish your energy and grow countless of times. it’s something more than psychical for you. you could even get the the point where you don’t even need to open eyes to feel and see things.

this definitely isn’t a journey you can quite get through alone. but most of it will be done within you. but as long as you have someone in your corner and someone that knows about this kind of thing. but maybe finding a like minded person or people can do you some good 😌. you won’t regret it. you guys might be on to something.

don’t get too deep in that ascending and bigger than life feeling. keep yourself grounded, just because you’ve reached this state doesn’t mean it can be taken away from you. especially if you start to abuse it. this feeling can cause some miscommunication in your circle you’ve made. it might cause a rift, but sometimes not everything is meant to be. this miscommunication could lead to you to question if your ideologies and feelings are the same as your circle. you might need to take a step back and see if your circle is for you.

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Seong Gi Hun X Reader: Make believe

A/n: the love i have for this man isn't normal. I need him so bad 😚

Warnings: fluff, age gap, kissing, talks of death, Jung Bae being a cockblocker (slightly), gn reader, pet names (sweetheart), not proofread.

Word count: 1.9K

“I don’t want to die.”

The words slip from your lips before you can stop them. It’s a silly thing to say, a sort of obvious affirmation that didn’t need to be verbalized but ended up making its way out your mouth anyway. You're staring at the ground, knees pressed to your chest. You don’t look up but you can feel him gazing at you from where he sits beside you. 

Gi hun watches you for a moment, not knowing how to respond to your confession. You were the quieter one from the group, often keeping to yourself. Gi hun wanted to tell you it would be alright. He’d been here before, he knew what would happen. Or at least he thought he did. He wasn’t so sure anymore. But he would never tell you that. Not with the way you looked now, your body so tense from fear he was surprised you weren’t shaking next to him. 

“I wanted to go to college. I knew we couldn’t afford it but my mom said it would be ok.”

Gi hun listened as you talked, a small frown gracing his features.

“I could tell things were getting bad when the letters started coming. Mom said it was nothing but I knew better. I started working to help her pay but it wasn’t enough and then she…”

You took a deep breath in, eyes closing as you tried to blink back tears. Gi hun's hand twitched beside him, the need to place a comforting touch on your shoulder was threatening to consume him.

“She got sick and we couldn’t pay the bills. I watched her fade away and there wasn’t anything I could do to help.”

You finally raise your head, looking into the darkness for the first time.

“She did a good job at keeping me in the dark. I only found out how bad the debt was after she passed.”

Memories flooded Gi huns brain. Your words made him remember things he wished he could erase from his mind. 

“I joined so I could pay them back. So I could get my degree.”

You let out a bitter laugh, turning to face Gi hun for the first time since you’d started talking.

“Don’t think that's gonna happen huh?”

Gi hun's hand made its way to your shoulder, his big eyes looking at you with such determination that it almost frightened you. 

“We are going to end the games. And when we get out you’ll go back to college and get your degree. I promise.”

You wanted so badly to believe him. You trusted Gi hun with your life but you weren’t one to believe in miracles. And that's what it seemed like you were wishing for. A miracle. 

Your eyes moved to Gi huns lips before darting back to his eyes. Ever since you’d met him you’d felt a strange pull towards him. You shifted your body slowly, inching yourself closer to the older man. If he was aware of your small movements he didn't show it. It was only when your shoulder brushed against his that he displayed any reaction to the proximity. He gazed at you with a questioning look. You watched his lips open to ask you something but before the words could come out you covered his mouth with yours.

Gi hun was frozen for a moment, he didn’t know how to react. He could feel your lips on his, your warm breath fawning over his cheek but he couldn’t move. He had never expected you to do something like this. You were at least two decades younger than him. He would have never thought you would be attracted to a guy like him.

His lack of reaction made you self conscious. You knew it was a risky move. A stupid move even. But with death looming over your every breath you seemed to stop thinking clearly. You pulled away quickly, desperately trying to put distance between you and the older man.

“Sorry i don’t know where that came from i’ll-”

You moved to get up, your heart beating so loudly it seemed to drown out any other sound. You would go wake one of the others up to keep Gi hun company. You couldn’t trust yourself to not do something stupid again. But before you managed to lift yourself off the ground, Gi huns hand wrapped around your wrist.

“Don’t go.”

Your brows furrowed at his words. You’d expected him to tell you that this was inappropriate. That he was far too old for you. But instead his hand found its way to your cheek, caressing it softly. 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to go.”

Your shoulders relaxed at his words, your body slowly settling back into his previous position. 

“I shouldn’t have kissed you without asking. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You were caught up in the moment. It’s all the fear this place causes. It makes you not think straight.”

Except that you weren’t not thinking straight. In fact this was the most sure you’d been of yourself for the last two days. 

“Gi hun.”

“Yes?”

“What if I wasn't caught up in the moment? What if i just really wanted to-”

“I’m too old.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“You would. If we weren’t in here, locked in with each other, you wouldn’t have spared me a second glance.”

“That’s not true. You’re very handsome.”

Gi hun couldn’t help but flush at the words.

“Plus, I happen to have a thing for older men.”

You gave him a shy smile and Gi hun couldn’t help but laugh. You watched him shake his head at you. You moved your hand to his face, cupping his cheek as he had done to you moments prior. Gi hun looked at you with those wide puppy eyes of his and you couldn’t help but feel your heart skip a beat. 

“What would you have done if we met at a bar or something?”

The question was made to distract you. Gi hun knew you needed to think about something other than the games for a moment and he was more than willing to help you out. You guided your thumb against his cheek causing him to close his eyes. You continued to caress him as you thought of how to answer his question. 

“I’d be on the dance floor, swaying to the music that was blaring. You’d be sitting in a corner near the bar, a beer in your hand.”

Gi hun would never go to a club that played loud music but he kept the thought to himself, not wanting to ruin the moment. 

“From the moment I caught a look at you I would be able to tell you needed some company but I wouldn't walk over to you right away. Well, not without taking a shot anyway.”

Gi hun’s hand made its way to your thigh, squeezing it slightly in an attempt to tell you he was listening despite his eyes still being closed. Little did he know you’d shut your eyes too, desperately trying to conjure up the images of what  you were describing to him in your mind. 

“After my bit of liquid courage I'd finally make my way to you. I’d take a seat right beside you, staying quiet until you noticed me.”

“I’d notice you the moment you sat down. Wouldn’t be able to resist such a pretty sight.”

You flushed at that. You hoped he was still with his eyes closed so he couldn't see what his words did to you. 

“What would you say to me?”

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing in a shitty place like this.”

You laughed, opening your eyes. Gi hun watched you as you laughed.

“What? Too cliche?”

You smiled at him, your hand moving to rest on his chest.

“A little. But it’s okay. I like cliches.”

Gi hun gave you a grin and you nearly fainted at the sight. He’d smiled in front of you before, of course,  but it was always a brief smile and it was never directed at you. He had such a lovely smile. You wished you could see it more. His hand moved to your face, tucking a stray hair behind your ears before moving to cup your cheek. You leaned into his touch, adoring the feeling of his warm skin on yours. Gi hun called out your name in a whisper.

“Yes Gi hun?”

“Can I kiss you?”

You couldn’t hold back the smile that spread over your face.

“Please do.”

Gi hun was gentle. He inched himself closer to your body in a slow pace, his lips settling against yours in what you could only describe as a loving manner. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer into you. You would have stayed all night like this if you could but a sudden cough made you break apart.

The two of you turned to look at where the sound had come from. Jung Bae stood behind you in the darkness, a barely contained grin plastered on his features. Your face flushed with embarrassment. Gi hun wasn’t better off, his hand moving to the back of his neck awkwardly. But his discomfort only lasted a second because soon he was turning to Jung Bae.

“What is it?”

His tone made it clear that he was a bit annoyed at his friend. 

“It’s time to switch shifts.”

“Oh.”

Gi hun looked at you with a bit of disappointment. You got up from your spot so that Jung Bae could sit down. Before you left you leaned down and placed a kiss on Gi hun's cheek. 

“When your turn’s over, come lay down with me, ok?”

“Okay.”

“Night.”

“Sleep well.”

You’d barely made it four steps from the two of them before Jung Bae started teasing Gi hun. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. 

Later that evening you lay in your bed, trying to rest but unable to sleep. You heard the sound of footsteps causing you to turn to your side. You could barely see him in the dark but you recognized his stance immediately. You shifted in your bed, making a space near your body before patting the spot. Gi hun inched himself onto the bed, a sigh escaping his lips when he finally managed to lay down. The two of you looked at each other for a moment. 

“You can come closer if you want.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Gi hun shifted until your head was pressed against his chest. your arm moved to rest against his waist. The older man gave a content hum at the action, adoring the way you nuzzled into him. 

“I have a proposition.”

“Is that so? Okay, then let’s hear it.”

“When we get out of here you can take me on a proper date.”

“To a fancy restaurant?”

“It doesn't have to be. I don’t care where we go as long as we go together.”

Gi huns chest tightened at your words. Here you were making plans for when you got out and he wasn’t even sure his plan would even work. He wanted to believe it would but he also knew the risks. He pushed down his fear, opting instead to look down at you. You gazed up at him as his hand moved to caress your face.

“When we get out of here we’ll go anywhere you want sweetheart.”

He placed a kiss to your lips as if he was sealing his promise to you with it. Content with his answer you nuzzled into his chest, your eyes closing as sleep took over your body for the first time in hours. 

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

hii congrats on 5k!! i love your writing ! if you’re still celebrating could i request a carmy blurb where maybe you’re syd’s besite and carmy has this biggggest crush on you (im talking this mf is Yearning) and she gets on him sooo hard about it like teasing him and reader and him end up together ? TIA <3

Not So Secret.

carmen berzatto x female reader

warnings - cursing.

written for my 5k celebration- post here, masterlist here, inbox here.

“You’re gonna stare a hole through her fuckin’ head.”

“Shut up.”

Richie laughs, following Carmens eyeline to where it’s fixed on you.

You’re stood in the restaurant with Sydney, both of you giggling at something she’s showing you on her phone. When you look up, you smile at Carmy, all soft and sweet and like butter wouldn’t melt. He almost melts, a puddle of yearning on the kitchen floor.

Sugar appears next to the two of you, holding out a piece of paper.

“This is a really rough draft of what we kind of want them to look like. Obviously you have full control, but this is kind of the vibe?”

When Carmen mentioned wanting a more personal touch on the menus, Sydney quickly offered your services. You’re the most artistic person she knows, gifted with naturally gorgeous handwriting that almost looks like calligraphy. Plus, she knows how much everyone at The Bear likes you, having been a part of their transformation. It’s a win - win.

“Yeah, I get you. So you want the title words like Dessert in more of a cursive, and then the actual dishes and descriptions in a typeface?”

“Yes! Do your thing. We trust you.”

She gives you a side hug, careful not to hit you with her bump.

“I’m gonna need some nice paper, and probably a new calligraphy pen so I can start from scratch. I’m gonna head to the craft store, and I’ll be back.”

“Carmy will go with you!”

Richie shouts it from the doorway, where he’s been not so subtly watching the conversation. Carmy blushes, clearly caught off guard.

“He needs to go to the craft store too, right Cousin? Good. Go. Bye!”

Carmy’s practically being pushed out the door, uncomfortable and flustered. You smile reassuringly, grabbing your bag and walking over to your car.

“You’re okay with me driving?”

“Course. Shouldn’t I be?”

You laugh, and he can’t help but grin, the sound settling nicely into his ribcage to warm him up.

“I’m a good driver, I promise. Despite what Sydney might say.”

He looks worried but gets in anyway, ever trusting you and anything you do.

He can’t help but sneak glances at you as you drive. You’re completely focused on the road in front, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you concentrate. Carmy feels heat bloom across his chest at the action, wishing he could reach out and release it for you before you draw blood.

A text chimes through the air, startling you both. You press the button on your steering wheel so your car can read the message out loud.

From Sydney: Carmy. Tell her immediately or I’ll lock you in the walk in freezer. Sick of you acting like a lovesick puppy. This is your chance. Don’t blow it, asshole. We’re all tired.

Both of you freeze, your hands tightening on the wheel. Carmy wants to throw himself out of the moving car, but decides against it at the last minute.

You pull the car into the craft store parking lot, choosing a space and yanking the handbrake on. You turn to him, looking at him for the first time since the bombshell.

He’s blushed all over, chest heaving and bottom lip pulled between his teeth. You almost want to reach out and release it for him, before he draws blood.

“Carmy.”

“I think, uh, yeah, I just - that was clearly sent to the wrong person. Not meant for you.”

You laugh, suddenly, and it spooks Carmy so much that he jumps out of his skin.

“Yeah, Carm. That I figured.”

He laughs with you then, unsure and nervous. You reach out and place a hand on his knee, trying to calm him down. It just makes his heart lurch.

“What’s Syd talking about? Tell me what?”

He looks down at his lap, hands knotted together.

“I think you know.”

“Wanna hear you say it,” you whisper.

He finds the courage to meet your gaze, taking a deep breath.

“I like you. So much. I can’t stop talking about you to anyone and everyone that’ll listen - to the point that everyone at The Bear gives me so much shit for it. Sydney won’t get off my back, either. She says I’m ‘yearning’.”

You chuckle, rubbing patterns into the material of his jeans with your thumb.

“They’ve all made bets,” he continues, “about if I’ll ever tell you or not.”

“Who bet on you? And who against?”

“Syd and Richie against me. Marcus too. Tina and Sugar are on my side. Not sure why.”

“Wanna make Tina and Sugar some money?”

He quirks a brow questioningly, eyes going wide when you lean over the centre console and plant your hands on either side of his face. You’re so close to him that your breaths tangle together, one set of lungs working overtime.

“Kiss me, Carm.”

He doesn’t think twice, closing the gap and pressing his lips to yours. You tangle your fingers in his hair, trying to pull him impossibly closer. His hands find your back, tugging you into him as much as the limited space allows.

You whine when he bites at your lip gently, and he has to pull away to take a steadying breath before he passes out.

“You should get your eyes checked.”

He tries to process for a moment.

“Huh?”

“You must be blind if you can’t see how much I like you, Carm. How much I’ve always liked you.”

He grins at you, bright and white, and you shake your head before leaning in to kiss him again.

When you don’t make it back into the restaurant that day, everyone has never been happier to not see the both you.