#I wish I had the energy to draw I NEED to
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EVERYONE SHUT UP. I’m so in love with her actually shut up
She is actually so fucking gorgeous looking at her is like. Breathing for the first time. She is my EVERYTHING. I would kill somebody for her idc. She says jump I say HOW HIGH. I would jump over the fucking. CN TOWER. If she wanted me to.
She’s stunning. Don’t even she is STUNNING. She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen I feel sick.
#I would go to war for her#she can do no wrong#I feel nauseous like she’s actually so beautiful I am DIZZY#my WIFE…..#I wish I had the energy to draw I NEED to#selfship#f/o gush#mel medarda#♡.love letters
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the forbidden cookie
#yakuza#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#龍が如く#saejima taiga#taiga saejima#saebaba#art#he can't chew on him unfortunately#wish i had the same energy to draw the stuff i need instead of dumb things
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Through the years, from popinjay to coxcomb to maccaroni to dandy to dude
#and from dude to gigolo if i have anything to say about it#baby i can the sweet mama to your sad and lonesome#this was so fun to draw my favorite hobby is historical fashion#are they accurate? not answering that. i refuse to draw codpieces#at my heart i am unfortunately a coward#i know i gave dandy kayne a short haircut at first but then i remembered all the mullets ive been seeing and i had to give it a try#i hope it looks like he as having fun throughout the eras <3#malevolent#kayne malevolent#but anyays like i as saying theres no ay king is appearing regularly in a three piece suit and not bringing that energy to#every other century#and i almost drew him in like plate armor but if he’s like snapping his fingers and ppl explode bro is not gonna get a suit of armor#that was wishful thinking on my part i remedied it he dresses like a bourgeoise i have to accept it#if i did this with the yellow king it would be like 5 inages of the same dude copied and pasted#i started giving the yellow king a pennanular brooch and even then i as like whoah thats kinda lavish for john#i dunno maybe i should fuck around with his robes and try some stuff out#hmmmmmmm i do like jewelry……….#new project: project runway but with john doe#and then eventually ill help poor arthur out#tho honestly i think he really probably dos have an eye for quality clothing i think he’s probably respectably fashionable but he#cares more abt quality#id love to put my boy in a fishermans sweater tho i feel like he needs something warm and sturdy on his journeys <3
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My brain wanting to draw Dandy, Wally, and Ivy being a wholesome family but also wanting to draw more and more gift art for those I love and adore but also wanting to draw my stupid Dandy au with Beta but also wanting to draw the other neighbors but also wanting to draw Wally a thousand times wanting to write personal WH fanfiction with Dandy but also-
#and then also wanting to draw Sun and Moon and kissing them a hundred times#but also wanting to watch fraggle rock but also wanting to watch muppets and also draw art for those shows but also#augh i wish I had infinite time#i wish I didnt have work#AUGH#anyway-#laying on the floor#text post#just rambling#i want to create so much but energy low and time very limited#awah but yall are always so nice about my Dandy stuff I need to draw Dandy and Ivy more and also AUGH!!!
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decrepit hag let out into the doodle page for a few minutes of recreational Once a Year Smile time
#a doodley#maybe will try to add a body to this for his bday tomorrow...#but also it looks like he's r***** c*** and idk if i have the energy. for drawing that rn.#sorry... that gay vampire had me thinking about my own gay vampire.#i wish i was a good writer of characters i know talon wld be a big hit to someone in some universe. (in a meaningful way!#bc i know ppl like him but im bad at like. plots. backstories. resolutions. all of it)#also idk if this doodle wld even be canon i just know i cant help but snap and turn all my men into lovesick clingy princesses.#here we see a completely domesticated cat...#I NEED TO FINISH DESIGNING GENEVIEVE SO I CAN DRAW THEM TOGETHERRRR AUGH#ok gnnnn <- delirious
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"he turns around and he pulls down the mask and you can see the gashes on his face. and clearly, since you last saw him, time has not been kind to him"
#sorry. feeling normal about mark winters hours. i wish i had art energy i need 2 draw him so badly . hrrhrgrhgrhghrhrhhrrhgghrgrhhhhhh#putting him in the FUCKING blender. i hate his ass#blahblahblah#jrwi pd#“you think i dont know that? that i dont look in the mirror every day and think that?#i know im not the father he deserves. and i never will be“#FUCUUKKKKKKKKK. IM GONNA CRYYYYYYY
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Mute and Elbë finally got their date! 💙 Thanks to everyone who voted! I think they look great in these outfits, so yay.
#my art#sketches#ocs#home is a distant wish#finally it's ready phew#I had fun drawing this and it reminded me that I need to draw my characters doing cute stuff more often#but my brain is still lacking inspiration and energy
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BNHA 423
So, I can't say I feel much of anything reading this weeks leaks.
I'm not shocked that Shigaraki died, nor would I be surprised if his death is taken back next chapter and he gets brought back to life in some way.
The thing is despite people saying Shigaraki dying messes with the themes of the story the themes have always been more then a little shaky. IDK if it's just a difference in culture, but Hori has a way of setting something up as being a big deal/theme and then doing something that completely contradicts it.
It's really no surprise he might have killed off most of the villains including Shigaraki despite setting the story up in a way where saving villains seemed to be a theme. He did the same thing with self-sacrifice being portrayed as bad, but later showing it as good.
I will say I don't necessarily agree with how some people are framing Shigaraki's death as throwing abuse victims under the bus. I do get the frustration because Hori did focus a lot of how Shigaraki was used by AfO and in a lot of stories that would be used to absolve him of guilt for all the destruction he caused. But Hori never had Shigaraki change his mind. His last words are him continuing to wish he could have destroyed more and wanting Izuku to relay to Spinner he never stopped fighting for destruction.
I think if this had been a more thought out and focused story you really could make it a great tragedy. It feels unfair that he couldn't be saved, that despite Izuku's effort, at the end of the day Shigaraki wasn't able to break away from the destruction he was manipulated and groomed into believing.
In that way I can understand the anger of some fans, because the story is essentially a tragedy framed as a simply triumphant narrative. It always felt like it wanted to have some deep meaning, and always seemed on the verge of it, but never stuck the landing. The one thing I've always been left wondering is: what is Hori trying to say with this story?, and IDK if the ending, given what's on the page right now will really give me an answer.
If anything I think perhaps Hori was trying to say to much at once. I'm sure a lot of it gets lost in translation and cultural differences, still part of me thinks he bit off more then he could reasonably flesh out. Thinking back many writing choices feel like he had an idea or passing thought and added it because it was cool or thought he'd have time to do more with it latter but due to shitty writing conditions couldn't implement properly.
#mha#bnha#bnha spoilers#bnha 423#boku no hero academia#bnha leaks#idk#im sick and rambling#at this point i check in on bnha to see how it ends#because i genuinely have no idea how it's gonna end#it does sort of feel like a story that was so much cooler in Hori's head#like I honestly wish I could just have him explain it to me#cuz I do think alot of stuff got cut or dropped because he didn't have the energy to draw it#I think it's a huge lesson in why working conditions matter#and why some stories and authors don't do well when released chapter by chapter#let alone weekly#over years of time#I think One Piece is a huge outlier#and should not be counted#i guess I feel like BNHA could have been really good if it had been released more like a novel series#like one book every year or two#because I think Hori needs time to edit and really pick a direction sometimes#which a weekly schedule did not give#and as disappointing as it is I can't help but give the man props#I can barely start my stories#let alone finish them#and I don't draw them ontop of that#like his art is fantastic and I loved a lot of his characters#never would have bothered to keep checking back if I didn't like something about it
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after they actually Get Married For Real, Grillby spends half of the day happily sobbing bcs gaster casually called him his husband
(also lmao, 5 months later the first image is outdated. she's his niece now. lol)
#these two images have somthing in common: this grillby trans. i love him. i've had a long day okay I need to draw cool gq people#undertale#fanart#rough#traditional art#razzmatazz related drawings#i wanna write. wish i had the energy to write. the past 4 days have been exhausting I haven't written a word#Kindling keeps his ring on a chain bcs he'd keep clinking it against glasses uncomfortably constantly if he had it on his hand :]#OH RIGHT#FUKU FIRE#SHE'S HERE TOO. SHE'S ALSO TRANS. TRANS FLAMES SOLIDARITY#she's not '''really''' his cousin but she might as well be#gaster#grillster#oops i completey forgot i drew him in there. grillby brain today. no thoughts only grillby
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Mutuals may know me as cool art creature, but I am also, ✨️stupid✨️
#shout out to my zoloft for not doing its job and also actively making me feel worse <3 yes queen give me nothing! (more depression)#im okay i promise its mostly funny akfhakfjskfhs#meds they put me on for depression i no longer had made it come back??? gods worst jokes happen to me her silliest creature#anyways maybe the vitamin d supplement i stopped taking a month ago will fix me <3#<<< it probably wont but god i wish#i have All The OC Thoughts and None Of The Creative Energy#hell world hell world#the he pronouns referring to Lux— local system silly guy and also co host who has almost no concept of consequences for things sometimes#need to draw a system map so i can properly call out our other alters for doing dumb shit and also so i remember who did the dumb shit
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a heem heem whimper
#it finally sank in that the zola anniversary is only 10 days away#and i'm suddenly very mournful that i didn't actually prepare anything#i've just been working on utau things and plp2 covers and character sheets and irl diy projects and other miscellaneous things for months#and it finally hit me that it's coming up and it feels like i've got a pit in my stomach#i want to participate and enjoy celebrating these boys who've been a large part of my work for the majority of those 10 years#but i also#can't really muster up the energy to do much of anything#the thought of drawing something leaves me feeling exhausted#and i can't really think of any composition that would really matter#i definitely can't finish a cover in that time frame#and all the “”“completed”“” covers i have are seriously outdated#and though in theory i could get Something™ small done in 10 days#i also. need to finish art for an upcoming campaign and get back on my oto work . . . . . .#i just feel very terrible and weepy ; ; ;#and just kind of wishing i hadn't dropped what little i'd had ; ; ;#(even though i know i would have been miserable if i'd forced myself to keep working on it through till now)#augh . . . . .#the agonies of unmedicated ADHD i suppose . . . . . .
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GOOD DAY EVERYONE, HAPPY EL WOO WOO WEDNESDAY! I haven't been tagged and I didn't have anything to share. In fact, I was feeling Pretty Bad, but then I got hit by a sudden Moment of Inspiration and I wrote 480 words for The Class Menagerie, which, compared to earlier progress reports, is huge and I want to share that!
Have some Kurt lore:
“How did you get into teaching?” Blaine asks. Kurt lets out a sigh. It isn’t a big marvellous story. Teaching wasn’t his dream growing up, but that is fine. Sometimes you work hard on something, only to realise that it isn’t what you want after all. That’s what happened to Kurt. He was enrolled in a drama school, but he wasn’t feeling it. This only stressed him out, because he’d worked hard to be accepted into the school. He thought that acting on stage was his dream, so it really messed him up when he realised that it wasn’t true. Still, he saw no way out. He was committed to finishing his degree. Then in his second year he had to do an internship and he did it at a school. He helped out in a drama department and it was as if the clouds in his head parted. He realised that he was still young and that he had his life ahead of him, so he made the big decision to quit drama school to learn to become a teacher. During that time, he realised he preferred the pre-school age. “And here I am,” Kurt wraps up his story.
I am still not finished and I hope (HOPE!) to have finished it on the 30th, so that I can post it within the posting period, but I am carefully and yet totally obviously planting the seed here that I might not make it. I did revise my plans for the ending, but alas, I don't know the concrete plans. But it's a-going!
As usual, have a Mimi:
And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @blurglesmurfklaine @coffeegleek @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @1908jmd @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @cutestkilla @wellbelesbian @artsyunderstudy @martsonmars @facewithoutheart @shrekgogurt @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites @blackberrysummerblog @whatevertheweather
#wip wednesday#tagged in#basically i am happy i got some writing down#these days i am just so tired#like i havent even attempted any audio editing in weeks even tho jenna made me that video cause i an tired#like i haven't been doing well for almost 3 weeks now#cause of all the aforementioned stress caused by my current degree#i am just so busy and then once i am done in the evening i just play viddy games#cause that feels the easiest#i wanna draw and read and write but i am just Tired#and that feels like more energy cause i am currently playing (and enjoying) a very cosy game#oh and splatoon which does occasionally makes me want to tear my hair out#but that is splatoon#but yeah i am stressed but still comfortably dressed and i even ordered a second hand ring fit adventure in order to release stress#trying to manage my stress yada yada#and around 8pm - 9pm i tell myself i need to be done with study stuff unless i really cannot afford it#so that i have the evenings off so that i can hopefully decompress#ANYWAY#that is life#god i wish i had a mimi to cuddle
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IM asking you to ramble about bg3 au and autism blast everywhere. and makeout and how sexy and funny you are.
I love you both so much our wedding is coming soon
Anyway OK listen. Listen to me okay Bg3 refers to baldurs gate 3 and for all you need to know it's a dnd video game where the characters get infected with literal brain worms which should have turned them into murderous cultists, but somehow they got spared that fate, and come together to get rid of their brain worms
The party is made of
Grian: a gnome druid whose preferred wild shape is a bird and who might have some hidden aasimar origins because Grian HAS to be God's favorite princess all the time
Scar: an elf ranger who was torn away from his family when he was kidnapped by illithids, and whose closest bro Cub (a warlock who's made a pact with archfaes) was also infected but sadly was turned into a cultist. Scar is desperately looking for him.
Scott: a tiefling bard/sorcerer who does most of the group's talking with npcs both due to his travels making him the more knowledgeable of the group about the region but also because as a bard you can do wild shit like just convince really powerful entities to just kill themselves for fun and that's a very Scott thing to do
Mumbo: a half drow artificer who tbh is the most normal of the group (as far as everyone knows anyway)
Jimmy: half aarakocra (bird :D) vampire cringefail rogue who. Well yeah he's a stand in for astarion me and my friend just wanted a cringefail vampire with negative charisma ok
Joel: A half elf barbarian who has a little secret. The secret is that he's a murderous bastard. But like in the most literal sense of the word
Joel's role specifically has me so mentally ill. Okay. So like. You need a teensy bit of lore for this ok and this will include spoilers for baldy gate 3 if the 2.5 people who read this far intend to play the viddy game well stop reading but still kiss me on the mouth.
So the Lore has many gods and the gods are just real tangible all powerful beings. Much like with Greek mythos, you following a specific god isn't because you only believe in that God, but because you're most devoted to them. Well that's how I see it anyway. And there are three gods associated with death and evil (it's more complicated than that in my hc but we don't have time). One of them is Bhaal. And Bhaal, get this, is the most metal fucking fictional god I've seen because he's the god of MURDER.
Something something he had to give birth to people called Bhaalspawn for some reason who are his direct children and carry a piece of him within them or something (Bg/dnd superfans don't come at me) and it's all part of his grand plan to take over the world. WHATEVER
But Joel IS a bhaalspawn. And he was Bhaal's specialest most favorite bhaalspawn. And now, okay, the thing about bhaalspawns is that they're not actually inherently evil, but they do carry that part of Bhaal within them - his will, and his potential for power. Some Bhaalspawn are raised specifically to be daddy's best little murderers and of course that's how Joel was brought up.
He was examplary because he was trained to be. He was capable of some of the most rancid bloodshed because it was what he was taught, and rewarded for. He was created to be murder incarnate, so any other emotions (love, empathy, etc) were shunned until Joel was either incapable of it, or refused to show it.
Except something happened. He got betrayed, usurped, and infected with the aforementioned brainworms which led to his memory loss. What did remain, even as he escaped the ship keeping him captive, even as he joined up with other infected survivors, was... A primal need. Like it was coded in his DNA, like it was in his blood itself: he had a need to kill. Not just kill, but spread misery, spread pain, and acquire power at any cost. He mostly unleashes those urges onto his enemies, but it never feels like enough. Like a scratch he can't quite itch. Of course, that's all Bhaal trying to reel him back in, Bhaal trying to reclaim him.
But like clockwork - because such ingrained training doesn't go away no matter how much one thinks they forgot - he finds himself relishing in it. In the violence of it all. The only time he feels truly alive is when he's covered in blood and gut.
... That is, until he finds himself growing closer and closer to Jimmy. After a night where Jimmy, desperately trying to hide his very obvious identity as a vampire but also desperately hungry, tries to feed off of Joel, and reveals his secret... Well, Joel had all rights to kill him right then and there. He reasons that there's no fun in killing someone so helpless but in truth there's something a bit charming about Jimmy. He's earnest, and he's just so... Not exactly innocent, but also sort of? He gives Joel to urge to protect him. To hold him so tight and close as to choke him. But in a sweet way. Probably.
Joel won't be able to put it into words for a long while yet, half because he refuses to let himself feel such things because he's so horrifically repressed. He was the only one at camp who didn't even guess Jimmy was a vampire before the big reveal because he's got negative int and wis (his strategy in battle is just hit things hard before they can hit you and honestly it works most of the time) so he'd just never noticed the obvious signs. Anyway. Because his blood is the tastiest and somehow he's one of the companions who acts the least weird about it, which really says a lot, Jimmy ends up mostly feeding off of him. And, well, something about letting your homie regularly suck blood out of your neck is bound to lead to something more. Joel becomes a bit possessive of his little birdie.
When Joel learns that he's Bhaal's special little princess, in truth he's fucking elated, because he spends weeks torturing himself in an attempt to remember who he is, what he's doing, what's wrong with him - and he's finally afforded answers. He leans fully into it. He's so happy to serve his God with bloodshed.
Until he's faced with him. With Bhaal. And after Joel committed countless atrocities (which the rest of their group didn't mind that much as lokgi as they stayed in the clear. They're all bad people) bhaal asks him to shed one last bit of blood before receiving his blessing, before becoming his chosen, he who will enact the murder God's plans. He needs to get rid of his pesky earthly desires and affections. They have no place within murder incarnate. He asks Joel to flat out kill Jimmy or die right here and then.
You'd think Joel would hesitate with how intensely pro-Bhaal he is. You'd think it would be a difficult decision. Jimmy would have thought too. Except that Joel's response is instant and intense. He tells Bhaal to go literally fuck himself, that he'd rather kill every last Bhaalspawn and make sure his bloodline ends with him, rather than lay a finger on Jimmy. Jimmy, whose helped his heavy heart feel so light and free. Jimmy, who makes him feel true warmth. Jimmy, who makes Joel want to appreciate every sunset, every breeze, every breath of fresh air. Jimmy, who treats Joel as so much more than a bloodthirsty beast.
Joel never thought he would want to be anything more than a bloodthirsty beast.
So of course Bhaal kills him because he's literally a god. Right in front of Jimmy. (there's plot and dnd magic that brings him back but it's definitely the culmination of his arc; that Joel, groomed to become murder incarnate, was given an opportunity to find another meaning to his life)
Also they have CRAZY sex
#Me and my buddy have been very autistic to each other abt this au I needed to scream#I wish I had more time and energy to draw I wld draw am#I'm so fucking unwell#Long post <3#Also I realise it feels like a 'character a gets saved by luv uwu' and. Well#Sometimes u do just rly need to be loved yeah
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Just stumbled across my half-finished Luckity Donut Hole animatic and I'm like MAN I wish I finished this.
#i talk#karmaland talk#all the easy parts are done... so it'd just be the harder ones#ughhh#I wish I had both the time energy and motivation to draw#I miss it I haven't drawn in so long#which... probably says a lot about ya boy's mental health but that's besides the point#frick. I need a vacation just to draw or SOMETHING
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Happy Valentines Day!!!! Or just "Happy Heart Chocolates Day" as one of my pals likes to call it!
Definitely not gonna be able to draw anything for Valentines day. A shame. So much hit me all at once so I hadn't been in the state of mind to do it.
Oh well! Maybe I'll make something late for Valentines day. Oh or my birthday! I should focus on drawing something for my birthday-
#text post#just rambling#toast you dont need to post on every holiday#BUT I WANT TO ndjdkfkd aaa i wish I had infinate time and energy!!!!!#so much to do so little time#picking up Wally and Dandy and making them kiss in my mind since i didnt draw it in time#just imagine them in love#HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BTW YALL KISS KISS SLASH PLATONIC!!!!!!!
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Found a sketch lineup I did a few month ago and decided to polish up and color this one bit-
Adventure 03 AU my beloved,,
#digiarting#arukenimon#archnemon#god i wish i had the energy to draw more au stuff i wanna talk about 03 so baaaad#i need to draw mun's new outfit#those two are STYLIN#they're back and they're alive and they're making the most of it#in STYLE
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