#I wish I could gift those. I'd buy one for every one of my friends | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ideasarestuckinmyhead · 5 months

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The song "Suger Daddy" by Qveen Her by kinda reminds me of Auron and Rook in a way.

If possible could you do a one shot based on this song of Auron and Rook, if not that's fine.

-☯ Anon

Give me the card, please?

When Auron and Rook's relationship got out finally every magazine and paparazzi asked them if they were his sugar baby. They answered no obviously, they didn't really get gifts because they didn't want him to spend money on them. They fell in love for his personality not his money, plus the gifts they did get were full of thoughts of them and to their preference like if it was a clothing piece. The type of fabric, cutting, and size was tailor to them and if wasn't their preference he'd just buy another.

They thought it would give the public their fill on their relationship but no. Of course it didn't people are nosy, like these fucking trophy wives at this gathering. Rook was in a simple classic outfit that Auron made for them, matching set and it looked so sexy on the both of them. Rook didn't care what these people thought of them but these fucking ladies and men even kept asking them questions.

"Well how much does he spend on you?" Looking up and down the lady in front of them was decked in Gucci. Rook simply said enough to make them not look fake, unlike that ladies dress. It got them a huff and the lady walking away from them.

"Child he has all that money and you don't wanna use it?" Greedy eyes looked at them, these one piss Rook off. They told the man that they had so much money they didn't know what they wanted to use it on. Happens when your partner has so many comas in his bank and loves to spend it on you when you wish. His jaw got clenched at those words and simply nodded.

"By the way you act so coldly to us I'd think Auron simply has you to fuck." Everyone hushed at those words, Rook turned slowly and saw some nepo baby looking back at them. They seemed a year younger than them, Rook didn't even flinch as they got in their face. "Your not a sugar baby, your just a slut he gets to use when needed." Gasps and 'oh's' were heard as the crowd parted for Auron to come to Rook.

"Mrs. Goldburg, I think I misheard you. Did you just call my partner a shameful name?" Glaring down at the blonde copy and paste bitch who tried to look innocent. Her name, what was it again? Rook wondered as they downed their glass of champagne.

"Oh, your name is Aubrey. Aubrey Goldburg, your family has been doing business with Auron for a while, yes?" Questioning the younger woman as they gestured a bus boy to them to place their glass down. Aubrey, surprised Rook even known her name nodded watching their moves.

"You will no longer be working with us. A shame really, your father was a respectful man when I met him last year when making the contract. I actually was the one to introduce him to my lover." Nonchalantly saying as they took another glass from the bus boy they saw Aubrey blink rapidly.

"W...Wha-" She was cut off abruptly by her Father rushing to the scene. His face grew pale as he saw who was in the middle of the crowd with his daughter. Richard really needed her on her best behavior, but of course she had to act out in their family name.

"Aubrey, dear, what did you say to them?! Rook, my friend I deeply apologize to you for my daughter." Richard knew he needed to kiss ass so bad right now but also knew that Rook would ignore him so he looked at Auron. Which was a bad idea because he was glaring down at the man who he was just sharing a drink with a minute ago.

"Richard, look. I'll be nice since I do see you as a true friend of mine I met when i first came into the public like this. Your contract with us will be suspended, Auron?" Not looking at their partner they knew he already notified Trish to fucking burn it if necessary.

"Of course dear, I will be exterminating that contact as soon as we get in the limo." Everyone began whispering and gossiping about the two Goldburg's in the middle as the power couple of the high society shot them down from fame with simple words. Rook didn't even show any emotion as Aubrey began to cry because her family contract with Auron was everything. A long tried sigh was heard by everyone as Rook threw a glass by Aubrey.

"Auron, take me home. This girl ruined my mood to enjoy this party." Annoyance was heard in their voice as they began walking to the door gesturing the coat man to get their coat quickly. Auron followed right behind them as he talked quietly with them. These actions caused everyone to talk about what just happen and sadly Richard was trying to calm his daughters cries but she started to just scream random things.

"And Richard?" The said older man snapped his head at them as the room quieted to hear them, "I'll have Auron recontact you if your daughter is properly taught etiquette of how she should act to the people who help her. Good night everyone." Leaving swiftly with Auron to the limo their words shook the high society that attended that night.

In the limo Auron was looking at them in his lap as they slumped into him. Tired form having to keep their guard up around those fucking assholes, but ripping that bitches life apart in front of her made it worth it.

"Are you okay, dear?" Softly spoken as Auron pet their head, and kissed their head. Rook nodded, feeling like being nonverbal was the best choice by speaking so much at this event. But then an idea came to them, how about they show those asshole's a real sugar baby?

"Auron, I want to spend money. Can I have the card, please? For tomorrow?" Sweetly asking and this clicked quickly in Auron's head as he nodded smiling a them.

"Of course dear." Happily saying as Rook doesn't usually use his money to throw at their problems. No matter what they bought the money would come back as quickly as it left.

"Thank you, sir." Seductively saying as they kissed his cheek. Giving a giggle as Auron kissed them in return, this turned in to them having a bit of fun in the back seat. As Rook woke up they saw a Black credit card by their table side, smiling at the note Auron left saying 'buy anything dear, I'll cover it.' Rook got dressed up in the most expensive outfit Auron bought them and went straight to a big mall. They even invited Aubrey and some of the people from the party Rook actually enjoyed talking too.

"Hhmm, Aubrey where should I shop at? I want to just spend money because I can." She took them to Prada, Gucci, Louis Vuitton and other stores Rook couldn't bother remembering. While shopping Rook sighed in annoyance as no one was trying to help them, didn;t these people know who they were?

"Hi, I was here for a while can I have someone help me please?" politely asking a worker who huffed and went to get a manager. Who rudely told them that they would't have anything for them, Rook pissed off then decided to ask. "How much can I buy this mall for?" The manager started to stutter asking them what they mean. "Ugh never mind I'll just ask Auron." This caused the manager to sweat more.

Ringing up Auron Rook looked at their entourage and smiled "I'm just going to buy this all so I can just take what I want whenever you know? Just sssooo much easier on me!" Then turning to talk to Auron about buying the mall. After a few minutes, Rook closed their phone and walked back to the manager. Giving him a big smile as another man rushed to him, greeting Rook first before telling him quickly.

"Sir, this Mx is now the owner of our shop. It is nice to meet you Mx." Sweetly saying as he tried to seem composed in front of them. Rook just nodded as the other manager looked shocked as everyone looked at him to see what he would say.

"Mx I apolog-" Rook held up their hand and sigh deeply before looking around and stopping at the new man that rushed ot them.

"Your the new manager now, got it? And you your fired get the fuck out." Everyone looking was staring at the now ex manager. Who simply nodded and walked to the back of the store, because what do you do in this incidence?

Aubrey looked in awe as Rook commanded five people to help them choice something to wear. Rook threw things they thought were ugly to the workers that were rude to them. And giving tips to the workers that were nice to them, showing to them that if they ever try Rook again they'd make their lives hard.

"I'm tired of this shop let's go somewhere else. I think I want a smoothie." They yawned as they wore a fur coat and had a whole new outfit that fit them perfectly. And just like that Rook had the best shopping spree as they walked in to a shop and grabbed whatever they wanted. Who would stop them? No one, even when there was paparazzi asking them why they bought the mall when walking out to their new limo.

"I just wanted to shop. Why? You have something to say?" This caused the paparazzi asking them questions stumble over their words. Rook shrugged them off as they got into the limo, after giving commands to the men holding their things to take it to the pent house. While in the limo they fanned themselves and started to complain how shopping made them tired.

"We should go to a spa!" One girl said Lizzy, she was really sweet telling Rook the options there. Rook nodded and told the driver to go there, everyone was chatting as they got in. Enjoying their time gossiping about the couples and drama between families. Then it was 6 pm, Rook sighed deeply again everyone looked at them as they pouted.

"Sorry everyone, I'm tired from having so much fun with you all. I think I'm going to go back to my lover now. I'll have limo's drive you home. Hugs and kisses to all of youu!" Rook said as they got in to a separate limo. They smiled as they saw Auron in the limo, giving him a smile as they showed off their outfit.

"Don't I look amazing? Too bad it'l probably only be wore a few times after this. Oh well!" Giggling as they leaned on Auron getting their battery recharged with him. They then asked about Auron's day, he went on about doing a recontact and how Richard was groveling the whole time. They fell into a silence as they felt this hectic day come to a end as they got back to the pent house.

While they enjoyed their time inside tabloids and articles were going insane how "Sugar Baby to the cold CEO rich man spent so much money in one hour alone." Rook had a feeling that they would be enjoyable to read so they decided to leave that for tomorrow for when Auron had a day off to make fun of them with Rook.

#red rants #yuurivoice #yuurivoice auron #red answers #red writes #ngl I was writing this for a wuick minute #idk how this is a short story bc I yap too much </3

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secretlywritingstories · 1 month

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I am not a gift person. Not a gift giver and not a gift receiver. It feels like there are so many rituals involved in it and most of all it just stresses me out and makes me feel like I'm constantly one step away from tripping up.

Like, I can see how the concept is lovely in an objective sort of way. You appreciate the people in your life and you want to get them something nice that'll make them happy or make their days easier or anything of that sort. It's a noble thing! I can see that.

But the fact that gifts in a lot of instances is "required" makes me tense. Birthday parties, Christmas, anniversaries, weddings, accomplishment celebrations, house warmings. So many things! I don't like shopping, not even for myself, and now you want me to find something for you?

I want to give people things that they like or need but I am also stumped at every turn when it's usually gift-giving coming up on some sort of deadline. Oh, I have to figure out something before this date or it'll be too late and I'm a bad friend/guest/family member/etc. I don't want to be! Just please don't make me buy gifts.

The only times where I'm not stressed out is if people have a very specific wish list and I can grab an item off the list. I'd happily do that. Tell me exactly what you want and where to get it and I'll do it. Or if I am aware of some niche interest or preference that makes it easy to come up with a thing that fits with that.

And I have bought spontaneous gifts now and again when the opportunity has presented itself. When I was in a bookshop and saw a cool bookmark, I just bought it for my mum. When I was buying a cute bracelet online and I saw a friend's fave animals on another design, I bought it for a friend. But those instances are rare and far between.

It's not even that great for me to receive gifts because I worry about having a poor reaction if I don't like something (or having to pretend). And the fact that it reminds me that this is a reciprocal relationship and next time it'll be my turn. And I still smile and say thank you, and I have gotten some absolutely lovely things through the years that I do treasure, but it still wears at me.

Generally, I'd much rather spend time together and just chill. (When I was younger, I was very appreciative of my family getting me things that I couldn't legitimately afford, but I'm an adult with adult money now and I know that's a privilege in itself). Go to dinner, see a movie, go for a walk, just exist with each other.

And I wish I could do the same, but no, there are expectations and I will continue trying to stumble my way through, stressing over which gifts to get (in particular for the ones that have nothing specific they wish for but the situation still requires a gift), except when in rare instances inspiration and opportunity strikes.

Maybe I'm alone in feeling like this. I promise I do love the people in my life, gift giving just isn't my love language, I suppose.

#friends #family #gifts #love language #spilled thoughts #my tumblr dabbles

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mcalhenwrites · 24 days

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I was lamenting to a friend about how little I had read this year (compared to how much I wanted to). They mentioned that I was doing my best while juggling two jobs - which led to me adding that I work more than that. On top of self-publishing and my receptionist job, I do take art commissions and I sell amigurumi at events (hate that for me). I'm also going to be working at the dog treat bakery when it shows more profit. (Not a matter of "if" but "when" here, and that's likely within the next couple of months.) Then I pointed out that... I have read 90 books this year so far. It is actually 91, and almost half of them are manga/comics while the other half are novels.

A ton of the books I have read come from libraries, which still is good for authors! And it is very good for the libraries to show traffic. :) I have purchased some or been gifted books this year. I decided to take a photo of the ones I know I've gotten this year, though I can't tell you if they're all here. I remember buying two of these as a reward for publishing Geckos. Hahaha. I'm saving for a car, but sometimes it's nice to reward myself with a book every paycheck, if I feel like I can get away with it.

Oh, and I bought Reverie on kindle for $2 bc it was on sale and I had just started my new job, so I thought it would be an acceptable treat at that price. (Ryan La Sala posted about the sale and I was like, "Oh, I liked The Honeys! I should read that!") I'm really sad that I can't do more. When I was whining, I was partially upset bc I had hoped to catch up with reading online as well. I haven't been that great at keeping up with AO3. I have browser bookmarks of things I want to read just stacked up. There are some authors on tumblr I want to catch up with. I can tell you right now that I love Lily Mayne's stuff and wish I could buy the entire Monstrous series in one go instead of every few months or so with no idea when I'll get the next. I'd love to have more manga, esp if it stops getting published! (Too burned by the past on that one, now I fret about how many I probably will never own and aren't at libraries to read.) So yeah, anyway. I do want to be better! But I did move twice (states and then apartments) and acquire a job and do a ton of other things, I'm trying really hard to stay afloat financially. BTW... NOT buying a book every paycheck might save money in the long run, but is still isn't enough to buy a fucking car or a house, and I'd like to better tolerate my life in the 3000 years it would take for me to save for either one of those. And right now, I'm shifting more toward reading library books and avoiding any purchases of books to save a little. I haven't bought a book in... the last month or so? I'll be so happy when I'm finally secure enough to not just buy books from all the authors I love but afford to always preorder (this is very good for authors!) and gift friends books!!! And commission artists for all sorts of things! And buy prints! I'm gonna give all the love I can! (And in the meantime... if anyone wants to buy my books... hahaha... It would go for a car right now, not books, but hey, maybe if I sold 1000 copies of Geckos, I could also splurge on a nice box of books and hold a giveaway.)

#mcalhen personal

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leontyne · 10 months

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My birthday has never been important or special. I was the middle kid of 5 and only girl so you'd think there'd be something there but alas.

My birthday falls in December. It's too close to Christmas to be remembered. Too close to Christmas to be worth the hassle. Not close enough to fall into that "it's both your birthday and Christmas present" category.

I realized my birthday was a burden when I was 11-12. I woke up excited, as you do. I always was that kid that never mentioned the day, I didn't like the idea of seeming greedy and I always secretly wondered if I'd be forgotten. I think it was around lunchtime it clicked for my parents. They seemed frustrated about something, wished me a happy birthday and told me they had to go visit someone (aunt?) And then I could open my presents.

When they came home they gave me a shopping bag full of this and that, the only things I remember now is the colouring book and one of those generic art supply packs we all probably got at one time or another. Nothing was wrapped but I didn't really focus on that. Nothing was wrong per say, I was big on art at the time. It took me a little to click that they had forgotten about me.

I remember every year after that feeling like I wasn't allowed to talk about my birthday coming up because it was a bother, it was so close to Christmas that of course they'd be broke and busy and shouldn't have to deal with that stress.

I stopped asking for things. If I was asked, I'd offer the cheapest thing I hadn't the time to get myself. One year dad built me a tv cabinet. Beautiful thing but 10 years later I no longer had a tiny block tv but a plasma followed by an lcd. I didn't have the room anymore so I was made to feel guilty about having to get rid of it. It truly was lovely..

I never had a party growing up and whenever I went to parties we couldn't afford gifts which I didn't understand at the time, I just thought you didn't take anything. Everyone else did, so I always felt terrible but always forgot by the next party.. there weren't many.. maybe 4?

On my 18th I had 2 parties. One organised by my college friends, one by my mum. The first was with friends at a bowling alley with cake and my favourite people. My 2nd eldest brother also came but it took a while to realize he'd come to hit on my friends. That's another story. Never mind. The second party was at home and involved alcohol, a bbq, my parents, 2 eldest brothers and 2 cousins and one of their gfs. We went to the pub for a drink then went home again. The night ended in a fight between the cousin and gf and didn't really make an impression.

I've had birthdays without any gifts, birthdays without any calls, birthdays wrapping my own stuff to unwrap again on the day, birthdays where I was made to feel bad for checking if I was still allowed to have the $50 they'd give me instead of a gift, birthdays where my friends had me spend my money on them for junk jewelry, birthdays where I simply cried in my room until the day was gone.

My birthday is not special. It was never special.

I am in my early 30s now, I have a death anniversary to share with it (obviously not their fault), I have no girlfriend or children, my family is busy with nibblings and hospital and Christmas.. f**king Christmas.. which I now take almost complete responsibility for, for my nibblings on my mother's behalf because otherwise they'll run themselves into debt at the last second.

So I just don't mention it anymore. If I'm asked, I ask for an exacto knife, a watering can, a charger, a book. Most of the time this just gets my hope up and they forget anyway so that's also fine.

I'm not one to point any of this out though. If I did I'd feel terrible for even wanting something nice to happen. I'd feel terrible for the guilt they may feel or the financial strain I'd put on them or I'd simply feel like anything that did happen was born of pity and not want in celebrating the day.

So I just buy myself a nice pair of converse or a game or a movie and just move past it and start counting down again.

But sometimes.. sometimes I wonder if I could ask a stranger, a pretty lady with kindness in her eyes, if she could spend the day with me. Make me feel like that day means the world to her because it's the day I was born. Make me feel loved and worth it and special and individual. Maybe a swim at the gorge, a walk around town, a stop in at the book store, a picnic in the park, a cozy night in with my favourite movies, trashy take out and some star gazing, falling asleep in a huge ass fort we made in the lounge while telling secrets and stories no one else knows. She wouldn't have to love me. She wouldn't have to know me. It'd just be enough for her to pretend that I was important for that one day.

The day is close and my heart is breaking and I just can't wait for it to be gone again.

Perhaps someone will remember the day this year past fb wishes and awkward texts that only come once a year.

Perhaps I'll stop hoping and it'll stop hurting.

Perhaps.

#depressing shit #dont mind my rambling #nevermind #ill be fine

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swansworth · 2 years

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Liv you're a mom right? I need advice on what to gift my friend for her baby shower

I am a mom, yes.

The go to answers for me are:

1) Something off her registry. If she has a baby shower registry somewhere, and you can afford something on the list, buy it from the registry. At my baby shower I had a registry and everyone bought stuff that was listed, but no one bought it from the registry itself, so I ended up with a lot of duplicates and my guests were frustrated.

2) Newborn diapers and clothing. Most people bring diapers and clothing for larger babies because it's hard to know how big or small a baby will be. But that means a lot of parents don't have a lot of diapers and clothing for when the baby is first coming home. The hospital I was at gave me a small supply of diapers, but I had only a handful of onesies that fit.

3) Gift Cards. I swear I know it sounds like a cop-out, but babies are expensive and sometimes there are unexpected last minute things you need. Gift Cards are fantastic whether it's to Amazon or a baby store or even a maternity store (because maternity clothing is expensive). Parents are always needing diapers and such so they'll appreciate it.

4) A gift basket. You could throw together a little basket with a cute onesie or two, a small pack of diapers (I'd ask the mom if she has a preference on brand and such because some moms are very particular), a gift card (doesn't have to be a lot, could be $20, every bit helps), and if you really want to wow them, and you're comfortable around babies/children, you could throw in a voucher for one night of babysitting. It's hard, and expensive, to find child care and I wish I had friends/family who were willing to step up and help when I needed it.

I'd avoid blankets and stuffed animals and baby shoes. They'll get plenty of those and only use about two of them. Also, babies out-grow their shoes so quickly and don't really use them.

I hope that helps! Have fun ☺️

#t: ask #anonymous #baby stuff

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captains-simp · 3 years

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@tomy5girls

Fhskdhwksnsns I accidently posted this before I was done writing it 🤡🤡🤡

I love Wanda so the first part took me ages to write but writing soft Carol made this either the messiest or best fic I've ever written

"Do I mean that little to you?"

"Was it all a lie?"

"I think I'm inlove with you."

Warnings: cheating and me fucking around with the MCU timeline regarding when characters are introduced

6.7k words

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Your relationship with Wanda had always been far from perfect. It was evenings like that difficult one that made you reflect on just how many red flags you had ignored. You had chosen to live your life with her in blissful ignorance, thinking it would work out.

But as time went on there were things that were harder to ignore. Things that hurt you to notice, both about Wanda and yourself. You thought they would go away. They only ever got worse.

That night was the final straw. You couldn't deny the issues that had been growing like weeds in your relationship for a year when you walked into your appartment to see Wanda's head between another girl's legs.

You didn't feel mad. Or upset. You felt empty. Empty at the long awaited realisation that you had committed to the wrong thing.

You didn't say anything, too shocked to know what to say and not knowing if you would even be capable of stringing a sentence together.

The woman's eyes flickered open and met yours and in that brief moment you saw the familiar look of lust before it turned to fear. She roughly pushed Wanda away as she looked anywhere but you and moved away from your soon to be ex girlfriend.

Wanda gave her a questioning look before whipping her head around to see you after following the woman's uncontaminated glances. She stood up instantly and straightened her shirt while the woman on the couch got dressed.

"You're home." Was the first thing Wanda said. Yeah. You were definetly done.

"I am." Your mouth was dryer than sandpaper but you somehow managed to say that.

"I should..." The woman muttered as she awkwardly glanced between you and Wanda before rushing past you and out the door.

Neither you nor Wanda spoke for a while. You were still looking at her, searching for any signs of...anything. She didn't meet your eye. She made no attempt to defend herself. To defend your relationship. It was downright heartbreaking.

You needed to sit down, but there was no way you were sitting where Wanda had just been. Not that knowing what Wanda had done on that couch had bothered you before.

You left the hallway to wander aimlessly towards your bedroom, knowing you weren't the only one Wanda had fucked in that bed, but you had never had to see that.

She followed you into the room, more trailing really. There was no urgency to her pace and she still didn't speak. Did she really not care?

You sat down on the bed and stared at the floor, mot knowing what to feel. Wanda didn't sit next to you. She made no move to comfort you. You didn't need comfort, not from her. You needed an explanation.

"When did it start?" You wanted to ask how many, but you already knew the truth would hurt too much. The ones you knew about were enough.

"I don't know." Wanda huffed. She sounded frustrated, as though you were wasting her time. That finally pissed you off.

"I deserve an explanation, Wanda." You said clearly, keeping your voice surprisingly steady as you looked up at her. She still didn't look back.

"What's done is done." She said simply.

"Do I mean that little to you?" Tears sprung to your eyes as you said that. Wondering for the first time if Wanda had really ever cared about you.

When Wanda finally looked at you you wished she hadn't. Her eyes were full of pity, watching you like a stray puppy in the rain. She moved forward and sat down next to you on the edge of the bed.

"I loved you." You didn't fail to notice the past tense, it cut through you like a knife. "But I wasn't ready." You had started dating so soon after Ultron. At the time you knew Wanda was grieving badly, you had questioned if it was best for her to dive into a relationship the way she had in that state.

Her self-confidence and driven nature always put your mind to rest. There were red flags before the relationship had even started.

"When you realised that...you didn't have to stay." Your voice wavered slightly.

"I know that." God the pitifulness was even in her voice.

"So why did you?" You held your breath waiting for that an answer. Wanda took a few seconds to consider that, like she wasn't quite sure herself.

"I like being around you." She sounded truthful, but you didn't allow yourself to believe her.

"When you weren't around them." You couldn't help the bitter tone that crept into your voice. Wanda didn't like that. Thinking she actually had any right to be mad at you.

"Oh for the- we had fun, didn't we? It's not like it was a complete waste of our time!" She exclaimed, standing up to face you.

"I wasn't dating you for fun, Wanda. It was so much more than that. I wasn't just someone for you to fuck like all of those girls, I was your girlfriend!" You felt proud at what you had said. You were right. About all of it. You were especially right to use the past tense. Something you didn't think you could manage to do. But that pride was short lived.

"You were a distraction!" You froze. Every fibre of your being turning ice cold from her words. You and Wanda stared at each other for felt like an eternity. She didn't take it back. There was an unreadable expression painted on her face. You knew it wasn't regret.

That's all you ever were to her? A distraction? Everything you thought you had...

"Was it all a lie?" You whispered. You hated the question. You would hate the answer. But you had to know.

Wanda's expression faulted and for a second the pitifulness returned. It was quickly pushed to the side when she spoke again, remaining stoic.

"Call it what you want." You bit the inside of your mouth in an attempt to stop your bottom lip trembling as you finally looked away.

"I'd like you to go. We're done." You whispered, turning away from her.

She left without another word. Her boots thudding against the floor as she walked away in the purposeful way she failed to show you that night.

The door to your appartment clicked shut before you broke down into tears.

You had gotten a hotel room that night, unable to stay in your own home. You couldn't lay in your bed without wondering how many people had been in it. Wondering how fewer it would have been if you had just confronted Wanda about it when you first knew. But you didn't, and those months of heartbreak were finally coming to the surface.

You arranged for time off of work once you got back to your appartment. Once that was done you flipped over the couch cushions, retrieved your toasted pop tarts and sat down to watch your comfort show under a bundle of blankets.

It worked for a while. The plates (yes plural) full of pop tarts and the hours of TV took the edge off of the numbness you were feeling. That was until a text from Carol brought you back to reality.

Care Bear: you okay?

You smiled a little. Carol was definetly something that would provide you with comfort, living up to her nickname as always. But she worked with Wanda, and the last thing you wanted was to make her life awkward.

Carol was your best friend. She was Wanda's friend too. That was how you had met. After Ultron Carol had introduced you to Wanda at one of Tony's parties. She had even been a wingwoman for Wanda, you pondered over what Carol would do if she knew Wanda had cheated.

The blonde had always been protective of you. It was sweet. Especially the small acts she never even noticed she did. Like standing closer to you when you were in a room full of self righteous jerks. Always being the one to catch you when you tripped over thin air, even if she was preciously on the other side of the room. Knowing when you were uncomfortable in social situations and casually taking you away from them in the most subtle manner that didn't cause a scene. You had never been able to confide in anyone like you could with her. Not even Wanda, although that was probably because she never shared either.

You: 👍 :)

Care Bear: --_--

Care Bear: Wanda's here

You bit your lip as your thumbs danced over the keyboard; evaluating the best response. You were surprised Wanda was even at the Avenger's headquarters. You had assumed she would be spending her nights with random hookups for a while rather than just one night. She finally had the full freedom to do that but she went back to the Avenger's Headquarters instead?

You: she okay?

Care Bear: I haven't seen her since she went to her room, doesn't seem to be in a talkative mood

Care Bear: you guys okay? 👀

Carol never liked to pry into yours and Wanda's relationship. She always let you confide in her. But in the cases where it was obvious something had happened between you, she checked in on you in the least subtle ways. Carol was smooth in a lot of way, but that was not one of them. It had become a joke between you and Carol ended up embracing it.

You: we broke up

Care Bear: CHSKSBSKSBAMZBMZDBAL

Care Bear: I'm on my way!!

Care Bear: or I can give you space to mope?

You couldn't help but smile at Carol's messages. Your reply was instant. You would love to have Carol binge shows and eat trash food with you.

You: come mope with me :(

Carol confirmed she was on her way less than a minute later and you got up to toast the last of your pop tarts and get a drink.

You weren't sure how soon Carol arrived on your balcony. You were sure very few things had made you happier than the sight of your goofy friend proudly holding up a multipack of poptarts while dressed in her sweatpants and goose t-shirt. The shirt was one you had gifted her for Christmas one year and if she wasn't wearing her Captain Marvel uniform, she was most likely wearing that shirt.

You got up to open the sliding door for her as you suppressed a chuckle. Carol appearing on your balcony without warning had stopped scaring you around the ninth time it happened. That was about the time you stopped trying to convince her to just use the stairs like everyone else.

As soon as she was in your appartment she threw the box to the couch and enveloped you in a bear hug. You wrapped your arms around her middle and closed your eyes as you held onto her. You smiled at the familiar smell of vanilla and cat hairs, being so easily comforted by it.

"Are you okay?" She muttered into your shoulder.

"I am." You said truthfully. You hadn't slept well the previous night, even at the hotel. You had cried for a while. But the next day you had felt better, as though a weight had been lifted from.your chest. You were still hurting, but you would be just fine.

Carol pulled away and rested her hands on your shoulders as she studied you, trying to find any evidence of a lie. Upon finding none she nodded and smiled at you kindly. That was something you loved about Carol. She never pitied you, even when the worst happened. She was sympathetic and supportive and never condescending.

"What are we watching?" Carol asked as she picked up the box on the couch and took it over to your toaster. She knew you wouldn't want to talk about Wanda yet. She would wait for you to bring it up. Until then, she would act as though you were moping because you were sick rather than the reality.

You replied to her with your comfort show that she had grown familiar with and sat back down on the couch with the blanket over you. Carol soon returned with two plates of pop tarts (it wasn't like you had eaten anything else) and two hot chocolates. What you really craved was some alcohol but you decided to leave that till later on.

Your blonde friend sat back down next to you when you lifted the blanket for her. She instantly brought her legs up under her and put her arm around you. You easily leant into her and rested your head on her shoulder before she leant her own head on yours.

Neither of you spoke for a while. Carol occasionally laughed at something on the TV and you found yourself smiling at the sound of her laughter more than the show. It had always been contagious.

Wait. Should you of been smiling that much for someone who had walked in on their girlfriend cheating less than 24 hours prior? Probably not. But then again. You had seen it coming. All the signs prior had softened the blow.

"You alright?" Carol asked again as a whisper as she pretended to keep most of her focus on the show.

You hummed in response and fiddled with the edge of the blanket for a while until you spoke.

"She cheated." You muttered. You could feel Carol freeze. Her whole body tensed up making her as stiff as a plank. Her shoulder wasn't as comfy when that happened. "But it's okay." You assured.

Carol took ahold of both your empty plates and placed them on the table before turning her body towards you so she could see you better.

"That's never something that can just be 'okay', y/n." Carol said in a gentle tone.

"I know but...I already knew before... before I saw." You could hear Carol breathing heavily as you avoided her gaze.

"Christ, y/n." She whispered. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I don't know I just...I guess I thought if I ignored it it would go away." Upon reflection you really weren't sure why you never addressed it.

Carol didn't say anything at that. You glanced up nervously to see her looking deep in thought, trying to understand what you meant. Carol was never one to hope things would go away. Her life as a hero had taught her to comfront every obstacle she faced.

"And you saw her..."

"Yeah, I did. I thought I could handle knowing what she was doing behind my back but actually seeing it...it was hard." Carol breathed out hard as though she had been holding her breath and pulled you into another of her infamous bear hugs. You wrapped your arms around her again and squeezed your eyes shut.

The blonde gently stroked your back in soothing circles until you moved away, not wanting to but knowing Carol wouldn't move away first and Lord knows how long you would have ended up staying like that.

"And you're really feeling okay about it?" Carol asked with a slightly furrowed brow, reading your face for any trace of a lie as you spoke.

"Yeah." You smiled assuringly. You didn't feel like telling Carol the rest. About how you had only ever been a distraction to Wanda. But there was something else you wanted to admit. "It was for the best." You started. Carol could tell something more was coming so she sat up a little straighter to show you you had her full attention. "Even before I figured out I what she was doing things just didn't feel entirely right with Wanda. She was great, but it always felt like something was missing." Carol didn't show any reaction to that. She seemed surprisingly stoic, like she was trying to suppress something. You figured it was probably just that she was thinking about what you had said.

"Enough about all that though." You said when Carol hadn't spoken. "You never got to tell me about your super amazing mission last month." Carol's eyes lit up at the mention of her successful mission.

There were some missions she wasn't allowed to talk about. Some she could. And some she could eventually talk about. Her last one was the latter and once she was clear to tell you about it she did, in great detail and the most animated way. It had been one of her best missions and you were incredibly proud. But you were interrupted by a false alarm at the Headquarters before she could finish.

You loved hearing about Carol's work that she was passionate about. You loved hearing how she could handle herself out there. Recalling some of those missions put your mind to rest when you hadn't heard from her in a long time. And you needed the distraction. Carol knew that.

You listened to Carol intently with a smile but the stress and upset of the previous events had you suddenly feeling very tired. Your eyelids began to feel very heavy and your head became empty as you felt yourself drifting off to sleep.

You woke up in your own bed, beyond comfused. You couldn't remember getting into bed or falling asleep. Still in a half asleep state, you tried to recall the events of the night until you remembered Carol. Had she carried you to bed? Had she left?

Your heart ached at the thought that your best friend wasn't there. Refusing to believe it, you wrapped your duvet tightly around you and trudged out of your room.

She was sleeping soundly on your couch with the blanket you had been curled up together under. You smiled at the sight of her looking so peaceful, taking a moment to consider yourself the luckiest person alive to have a friend as caring as Carol.

You came back to your sense when you realised how creepy it felt to be standing over your best friend and staring at her sleep, not to mention how freaked out she would be if she awoke to your duvet covered silhouette. But you didn't want to leave her side.

Carol stirred when she felt you kneeling on the couch. Countless nights of sleeping next to her had taught you she was a fairly light sleeper. You were thankful that she wasn't startled by you kneeling over her as you adjusted your blanket.

"Y/n?" She muttered as she rubbed her eyes to try to see you better.

"Go back to sleep." You murmmered back before laying down on her stomach and holding the duvet over you both.

You felt so at home in her arms. She didn't protest to you and instead wrapped her arms around your back and closed her eyes again with a content smile.

You rested your head in the crook of her neck and soon drifted back to sleep. Carol, on the other hand, struggled to sleep for a while. You had slept in the same bed before, countless times, but you had never been so close together when you did. It had never felt so intimate.

It was making the butterflies that had started arriving years ago whenever you were around dance around happily. As much as Carol tried to ignore them, her feelings for you only ever grew.

Over the next few days Carol visited you a lot. You had always been happy to spend time with your friend, but in those days you appreciated her company even more. In fact you were pretty sure you craved it.

She checked in on you often and stayed the night when you asked her to. You tried not to be too clingy with your friend, knowing she had a busy life and a lot of responsibilities to take care of and you didn't want to keep her away from her hero life.

It made the moments you could spend with her even better. You had always had that thought process with Carol, but it was enhanced since the night you slept ontop of her on the couch - something she never commented on.

You mainly spent your time together in your appartment, but on that day Carol had another idea.

"I promise it's safe." Carol grinned at you as you looked over your balcony for the umpteenth time in the last five minutes. You never really realised how high the sixth floor was until your friend was encouraging you to jump off your balcony with her.

"You need to get out of that appartment." Carol insisted.

"I could go on a walk to do that! You know...like a normal person." Carol laughed at your defiance to try what she had offered.

"Just five minutes, you'll love it." Carol said genuinely as she took ahold of your hand. You had never realised how her hands seemed to fit perfectly in your own before. You smiled at the sensation of a slight tingling in your hand upon contact with Carol's.

"Ease off." You giggled, shaking Carol's hand.

"I'm not doing anything." Carol protested earnestly, giving you a comfused look. You gulped and tried not to think about what the feeling was. "If you don't like it I'll bring you right back, you're safe with me - the Strongest Avenger." She said with a cocky grin, she had heard someone say it once and it went straight to her head. You rolled your eyes at her with a smile then paused, biting your lip as you considered the offer properly.

"Okay." You breathed out.

"Okay?" Carol asked with an excited grin.

"What the hell, sure!" You exclaimed. Carol chuckled and went to stand behind you. The material of her suit pressed against your bare arms and made you shiver slightly, you assumed from nerves. Carol had told you you didn't need to wear a jacket or coat, claiming her powers would keep you warm.

She wrapped her arms around your waist to hold you tightly against her and you gripped onto her forearms, not being able to stop yourself smiling.

"You ready?" Carol asked as the yellow swirls started to surround Carol and heat up your back and stomach. Blue and red glimmers occasionally appeared amongst the swirls and you tried not to get too distracted by the beauty of Carol's powers.

The next thing you knew your feet were slowly leaving the ground until the tips of your shoes were an inch away from the floor. You felt weightless and couldn't help but laugh a little at the absurdity that you were floating on thin air.

"Okay?" Carol checked.

"Okay." You confirmed.

As soon as the word left your mouth you felt like you were being catapulted through the air. Wind whipped your hair across your face and everything was a blur. All you could focus on was the whirling colours and Carol's strong grip on your waist.

You were going directly upwards for a few seconds until Carol eased you both forwards slightly, angled so you could finally take in your surroundings.

The speed at which you had been going to get so high in such a short amount of time was insane. It was impossible to know exactly how high up you were, all you knew was the faint clouds in the nighttime sky were closer to you than the ground. A lot closer.

The small gaps amongst the thin layers of clouds gave a glimpse at the stars that shimmered above you. The view below was just as breath-taking.

The city was lit up by the lights emitting from each building, each playing a part in the beautiful display. The lights shimmered and twinkled just as the stars did, the two very different worlds having the same beauty from such a height.

As Carol leveled herself out more you felt your legs drop infront of you and away from Carol. Your grip on the hero tightened in response to the new position.

"Do you trust me?" Carol asked carefully. You nodded, not knowing what your friend was planning but knowing you would go along with whatever she had planned.

One moment Carol had her reassuring grip on your waist, guiding you through the night air, and the next she was gone. You plummeted through the air in an instant, a silent scream escaping your throat. You squeezed your eyes shut tightly, not wanting to see the world spinning as you fell, but as soon as you were falling you were safe again.

You landed on Carol's back surprisingly lightly. You blinked a few times in shock, not understanding what had happened until you realised that Carol was flying horizontally and the position allowed you both to have a much better view and in a better position.

You sighed with a grin as stared down at the city in awe, your eyes occasionally flickering up to the dark sky. You rested your head in the crook of Carol's neck and wrapped your arms around her front, easing into her as easily as you had that night on the couch.

It was the happiest you had felt in such a long time. You felt safe with Carol, even from such a dangerous height and the whole event had you feeling more relaxed and content than you could ever remember.

A warmth spread over your body as the pair of you gently flew over the city. While you wanted to believe it was from Carol's powers, you knew deep down that that wasn't it. Because you had had that warmth for Carol on the coldest nights, you had had it when she was on the other side of the room, it had been there for as long as you could remember. And it was only getting stronger.

It didn't take anymore encouragement to get back into your usual way of life without any issues. Thanks to Carol there didn't seem to be much difference. The times that you would have been spending with Wanda you spent with Carol. She knew you were okay and that you didn't need her to mope around with you anymore - not that you had really ended up doing that together much. But you wanted her with you; she seemed to want to be with you too.

While you had slept in the same bed multiple times since you had on the couch, you never cuddled close to her like you did before. You knew that if you did that warmth would return. You knew, deep down, what it meant. However you had no idea if Carol's feelings for you were anything more than platonic, it was a line you weren't willing to cross, so you pushed those feelings to the side as much as you could.

Despite your efforts, those mornings you woke up next to your friend you found that you had your head resting on her shoulder or an arm hooked around her waist or one of your legs tangled with hers. She never seemed to mind, in fact one time you could have sworn you saw her eyes drop when you separated yourself from her. You told yourself you were just seeing things that weren't there.

So one night when Carol casually invited you to an Avenger's party you almost choked on your popcorn. You had always gotten along with the team - ever since the mix up on the mission that had led you to meet them and Carol. You had been to a fair few of those parties in the time you had been friends, but that party would be different.

Carol had assured you that no one else on the team knew exactly what had happened between you and Wanda. Your friend knew you didn't want people knowing and Wanda wasn't about to announce it, all the team knew was that you had broken up.

"You don't have to." Carol said quickly. "Wanda will be there." She informed in unimportant fact kind of way. "I just thought it would be nice for you to see everyone again. They miss you."

"They do?" Even thought you had known the Avengers for years, you still couldn't help but be a insecure before seeing them. You didn't have any powers or training. You always wondered what you could possibly bring to their table. Those worries were always put to rest once you were settled in, the smiles on their faces and laughter they emitted when you saw them was hard to fake. Besides, it wasn't like they had any reason to fake it.

You very quickly stopped being insecure when it came to Carol though. You had spent so much time together and knew each other so well that you never worried what she thought of you. She reminded you often of the traits she loved so much, it had been something you had started.

"I'd love to go." You smiled at Carol then went back to the screen. You never liked to make things awkward with exes. It wasn't like you and Wanda were going to become best buddies any time soon, but you were determined to be civil. You just hoped she would be too.

"Great." Carol concluded after studying you for a bit, wanting to be absolutely sure that it was what you wanted. "I'll pick you up at eight on Saturday."

"It's in two days?" You exclaimed, turning to Carol with a horrified expression.

"It is?" Carol confirmed in a not-too-sure tone, not understanding what the big deal was.

"Jeeze, Carol, give a girl a better warning next time." You huffed as you leant back against the couch. The blonde chucked next to you and muttered an apology.

Carol continued watching the film she had put on while you planned when and where you would get an outfit. You knew the dress code of those parties, that wouldn't be an issue, but part of you wanted to match with Carol.

"What are you going to wear?" You asked casually.

"Haven't decided yet."

Damn. You would just have to wing it.

Carol knocked on your door at exactly eight o'clock on the night of the party. You were startled at the sound of it at first, not expecting her to actually use the door for once.

You opened the door with a wide grin on your face but felt as though you had the breath knocked out of you when you saw your friend. She was wearing a tailored dark y/f/c suit with a neat white blouse. Her hair was slightly tossled and hung loose around her shoulders. It all went perfectly with her familiar warm smile. She looked beautiful.

Carol's outfit was strikingly similar to your own y/f/c dress that was a much lighter tone but the similarity was still there.

"H-hey." You stuttered as you continued to take in her outfit.

"Hey yourself." Carol grinned smugly, not oblivious to your stare.

"You look...really...amazing." You couldn't help but say. It was the truth.

"You look really amazing too." Carol said a lot more easily than you did. You giggled and stepped out of your appartment and locked it.

"Milady." Carol said in a terrible English accent as she offered her arm for you to hold.

"Milord." You went along and put your arm easily through hers before you started walking down the hallway, unable to contain your smile at the childish and loveable act.

When you arrived at the party you were bombarded with people wanting to talk to Carol. You had grown used to that, but it was still a downer when you wanted to stay by Carol, at least for a while.

Eventually, you were summoned away from your friend by the Avengers who were eager to catch up with you after so long.

"How've you been?" Nat asked with a welcoming hug as she outstretched her arms I'm an open hug.

"I've been pretty great." You replied honestly as you hugged her tightly. There was no one you were closer to than Carol, but Nat was someone you considered a friend without a doubt.

"What about you?" You asked genuinely as you pulled away.

"Same old." Nat smiled in her familiar way she saved for those she knew rather than the strangers in the room she had to play nice with.

You talked to Nat for a while as though nothing had changed. You hadn't seen Wanda and you had no idea where she was and no one mentioned her. You were thankful there wasn't any tension around the group. They all talked to you in the same way they always had with the exception of them asking about Carol more. You kept missing their knowing smiles hidden behind their drinks.

After a while you and Tony had your own convosation and it seemed as though being around the others was the only kind of self control he had when it came to refraining talking about relationships. As soon as you two were left alone he didn't hesitate to start saying what he had been thinking.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, you and Wanda seemed great, but I always thought it would be you and Carol who would end up together." Tony said as though he was voicing a passing thought.

"Me and Carol?" You tried to ask smoothly. Admittedly you had been thinking a lot about what it would be like to date Carol. You couldn't seem to stop your mind wandering at night to imagining scenarios with her in which you were dating. It always made you smile so your cheeks hurt until you reminded yourself it wasn't real. Carol would never see you that way, would she?

"Well I didn't see it until Nat pointed it out. Then we actually all kind of assumed you were dating before you and Wanda became a thing." Tony continued in his casual manner before taking another sip of his drink.

"Really?" You looked over at Nat who was talking to Carol. Nat seemed as though she was trying to convince Carol to do something because the blonde had the conflicked look upon her face that always appeared when she had been thinking long and hard about something.

"You certainly acted like it." Tony snickered as he followed your line of sight. As if on cue, Carol and Nat glanced your way and a heat began to grow along your neck at the feeling of embarrassment at being caught staring.

Nat had a small smirk playing along her lips while Carol mirrored your expression guiltily.

You missed Tony and Nat exchanging knowing smiles. You missed the way Carol's cheeks became tinted pink too.

"Excuse me." Tony said as he put a hand gently below your shoulder before walking off in the direction Nat had also departed too.

You smiled at Carol and wandered towards her place on the balcony, glad that she turned around entirely to face you. Unfortunately the blush on her cheeks had faded by the time you would have been close enough to spot it.

"Enjoying the party?" Carol asked as you stepped out onto the balcony and leant against the railing.

"I am." You said certainly. The blonde turned to copy your position so you could both gaze out at the buildings below you. The view you had gotten with Carol was undefeated, but the Avengers tower provided something special too.

"I told you they missed you." Carol grinned as she nudged your side with her elbow.

"Yeah." You blushed and peered down at the railing.

"I don't know about you but my shoes are killing me and I think I've talked to enough of these guests to bore me to death twice over." Carol sighed with a childish smile. You grinned back and nodded.

"You want to stay at mine tonight?" You asked hopefully.

"I'd love to." Carol's smile grew as you held her arm out for you to link your arm through again.

"Milady." The hero said with the same terrible English accent.

"Milord." You mocked as you put your arm through hers easily.

Maybe Tony was onto something.

That night when Carol took the same place she always did in her home that was as much hers as it was yours, you couldn't focus on the movie playing on the screen. You couldn't focus on anything except the blonde beside you.

You had your head resting on her shoulder and everytime you moved to get your drink and turned back to her your eyes instantly strayed to her lips, images of kissing her filling your head.

You remembered the night she moped with you after your breakup and how she had been the best friend you could ask for. Except you didn't want Carol to be just your friend. You wanted her to be more.

Your mind had been racing since since party, considering what Tony had said to you and how true it was. You and Carol really had always acted like a couple. You had never thought anything of it, even when Carol did it considerably less when you were dating someone.

Because you had been in more than just one relationship in the time you been friends with Carol. None of them ever felt right. You always thought there was something missing. Something that the next person would fix. No one ever could though. Because what you had been looking had been right infront of you the whole time.

All those feelings that had come bubbling to the surface the couple of weeks prior, they had been there all along. Christ, you were such an idiot.

"Carol..." You whispered, more afraid of what you were about to say than anything before. You wanted to back out. You didn't want to mess up what you had with Carol, but you had never been so sure of something than you were for your feelings for Carol in your entire life.

"Yeah?" She said softly.

"I think..." You held your breath and you could have sworn Carol did too. "I think I'm inlove with you." The blonde froze for a solid minute. Neither of you spoke. Tears threatened to come to the surface as you realized what you had done.

Eventually, Carol put her bowl of popcorn down and slowly turned towards you. You didn't dare meet her eye, instead playing with the edge of the blanket over you both and hoping it would trigger a sink hole beneath you.

"You do?" She whispered. You nodded and bit your lip in an attempt to hold back your tears. Carol lifted your chin gradually so you were looking at her. She had an unreadable expression.

"I love you too." You half laughed half sighed in relief as a smile spread across your face and the tears finally sprung free.

"Yeah?" You choked out. Carol instantly cupped your face and wiped your tears off of your cheeks as she smiled back at you.

"Yeah!" She giggled. "I've wanted to say that for so long." She admitted in a rush.

"Why didn't you? It could have saved us so much time!" You exclaimed and gently punched her arm.

"I was scared, even with Nat trying to convince me to say something." Carol explained, it was her turn to look away in embarrassment but you quickly pulled her back the way she did.

"That's really sweet, I'm here now." You assured genuinely.

Carol smiled back at you as her eyes glanced down at you lips. You grinned at the obviousness of what she was thinking and bravely closed the gap between you. After that prompt Carol eagerly met you half way and smiled into your long overdue kiss. Her lips were so so soft and moved against like a perfected dance. When you pulled away for air you rested your forehead against hers and breathed heavily with a heart filled smile.

"We have to do that more often." Carol said as her hands landed on your waist.

"We absolutely do." You agreed before pulling her into another kiss, engraving the memory of that night into your mind forever.

#brie larson #captain marvel #captain marvel imagines #captain marvel x reader #carol danvers #carol danvers imagines #carol danvers x reader #marvel #wanda maximoff

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marindram · 3 years

Text

full transcription of Marin's blog from Omega Mart!

huge thanks to @b0chelly for recording a scroll-through, which i typed this out from. (and warning for Omega Mart lore/story spoilers. second half is in reblog)

Marinknows.best

Location: Seven Monolith Village

Last Login: 12/31/2019

Profile Views: 101,275

About me: I love listening to music and glitter

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June 26, 2018

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!

So 14 feels way different than 13. For real. I think it's because I was expecting 13 to feel different, but sometimes when you expect something it turns out the opposite ya know?

Plus, 13 is like, "I'm new to being a teenager!!"

14 is more like, "I'm becoming the person I want to be." At least that's how I want it to be. I wanted to start this blog as a record of all that.

I should ask Did you guys feel the same way when you turned 13 and 14?

But probably nobody's gonna read this because I'm just a weirdo in the weird dessert. I mean, I know my best friend Jesse is reading this (hi Jesse). Besides her, crickets.

But yeah, if you are reading this and you don't know me - I live in Seven Monolith Village, a teensy tiny town that you've only heard of if you're into aliens or homesteading. And I'm literally stuck. As in, I'm physically unable to leave. My first memories are of all the adults in my life (Charlie, my great-uncle/father-figure - Rose, my what? Roommate? Mother-figure? Pseudo-aunt? All of the above? and my mom, Cecelia. who doesn't live here) telling me that for some reason, there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't leave a certain radius of where we live. I got older and thought that they were just exaggerating to keep me safe, but then last year I tried. And it was, let's just say not good.

Anyway. That part of my life sucks, but not everything sucks. This year is all about Marin Dram 2.0. Not new, but definitely improved.

And maybe someday, somehow somebody will read this and care about what I have to say. Somebodies, even. Until then, this is Marin Dram signing off and sending my lame contemplations into the void!

July 1, 2018

Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 20 (and some of these will never happen like are literally unable to happen but JUST LET ME DREAM

1. Kiss someone (who???)

2. Meet HTB (kiss him) (jk he would never) (plus meeting him would be enough)

3. Go to Paris

4. Go to Rome (or somewhere cooler in Italy, look up where is the best pasta???)

5. Go to Greenland (why not???)

6. Go to New York City

7. Go to LA (with a dream and my cardigan lol)

8. Go to the Grand Canyon (this isn't mine, but 9, Jesse is sitting right here and she went to the GC when we were 12 and she's like blah blah blah it's my favorite place in the world and you'll love it. I'm doing this so she'll shut up.

9. Live in a normal house with normal rooms → ideally 12 of them: living room AND TV room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, study/library.

-plus an upstairs downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I got my own

-plus an upstairs/downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I get my own room with an actual door. Very into doors.

10. Go to a mall (Jesse says there's a bunch of bonkers ones in Vegas)

11. Make friends who aren't Jesse (no offense, Jesse)

12. Get Cecelia (my "mom") to teach me about business stuff so I can open my own cool coffeeshop/bookstore someday

13. Learn to drive (ask Charlie to teach me, he's obsessed with his truck) (Jesse says she can teach me because she's Little Miss Mechanic and thinks she knows everything about cars but news flash Jesse: you're you get than me)

14. Figure out my signature style- like I want people to send me pictures of things and be like "this just screamed Marin" and for that to be true

15. Liquid eyeliner??

16. I'm stopping here because I just read over all this and want to die/cry because easily 3/4 of these are literally impossible?

17. Kill me

18. Bye

19. Lololol Charlie just came in and I was complaining about this, not being able to leave and stuff, etc and he said that I should visit new places by... reading books?? And I mean I like to read. But dude. That's the dumbest thing I've ever head.

July 30, 2018

Okay so this is what I want my life to look like:

I want a pink room. Not just pink... P I N K. Cool pink wallpaper (floral? jacquard??), pink carpet, lots of pink flowers everywhere, a four-poster bed with a pink silk canopy, lots of cool pink throw pillows. Like, so pink that

people think I'm being sarcastic! Oh, and BOOKS. Floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and some of the shelves have, like, STUFF on them that isn't books, like gifts people gave me, or things I've collected on my JOURNEYS. You know, normal stuff that people who live on normal places and do normal things have.

If I lived in in this room, it'd be in awhite three-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac (did you know "culs-de-sac" is the plural? Not "cul-de-sacs"? crazy) and I'd wear very classic girly clothes and my hair would always do what I wanted it to. It'd be one of those towns that people call small, but it's actually a city. just one with a kinda small, cozy feeling. Somewhere that gets cold enough to wear cute jackets but not so cold I have to to like, shovel my driveway. Not a non-place with like 100 people where you can't even go outside without going crazy.

August 2nd, 2018

I guess I should explain where I live, for all my avid fans out there! (lol) (hello??)

So like... I don't live on Earth. At least, not the Earth you think of when you think of EARTH. I live in some some weird off-brand version of Earth called the Forked Earth where there are aliens and magic wells of magic energy and everything is MAGIC but like the crappy kind of magic, where the sun never fully rises and some goo called "runoff" has made everything wacky and oh yeah, my mom is responsible for that and everyone here hates her!! LOL

Also, I can't leave! Like, literally can't! Rose says I'm a "special child of Source" and that's why but that LITERALLY explains tells me nothing, in fact it just raises further questions that no one can seem to answer! AHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway, the last time I tried to leave I felt. When I try to leave I feel like I'm being pulled back by something, like you know those old cartoons where someone's on stage doing something dumb and then someone offstage pulls them away with a giant shepard's crook? It felt like that, and when I opened my eyes I was back in 7 Monolith Village. UGH.

I know this sounds crazy!!!!! But believe me when I say that I am the least crazy person here. Also, """here""" is C R A Z Y. Runoff has made everything the bad kind of psychedelic and then people here actually DRINK IT! Not only do I not DRINK THE STUFF THAT HAS MADE THE WORLD INSANE, I also do not talk to aliens (or whatever Nula are) like Rose or believe crazy conspiracy theories like Charlie, so I believe that qualifies me as the most normal person in the Forked Earth, thank you for this honor, I accept this award with humility and grace!

September 4, 2018

I had the weirdest dream last night?? I was swimming in a pool full of cereal, and when I came up for air, my mom was pouring milk on my head like she was rinsing my hair. She had her hand over my face like I was a little kid and she was shielding me from soap getting in my eyes.

Anyway I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I went to bed hungry and I need to take a shower? Lol

October 16, 2018

I was trying to hide this entry from Jesse, but JESSE IS A NOSY PERSON. She says that blogs are for readers, and if I wanted something to be private then I should "Just write in a fucking notebook and hide it under your bed like a normal person, Marin." I'm allowed to have secrets!! Anyway, I'm making her a freaking playlist, that's why I wouldn't tell her what I was writing about. but EVEN STILL! I'm allowed to have secrets!! But I have this blog because I wanna get my feelings out, I wanna see everything in my head typed out all nice in a way that doesn't make it look insane. You know? I don't know who I'm asking.) Because, it's not like I go to a normal school or have a normal life where I'm surrounded by normal people I can talk to. No one knows about me! I'm trapped in this crazy place and This blog is my only outlet to the world outside. I KNOW that's heavy but it's true! The point is: Jesse's birthday is coming up. The central consistent thing in pretty much my whole life is sharing headphones with her and listening to music. The soundtrack to my entire existence is her. I wish I had money and could buy her the best presents of all time, but I can make her the best playlist of all time. I want it to be so good it feels like magic. I want her to think I'm magic. I had another dream the other night. I don't remember much, just glitter. I must be crafting too much. Or looking at festival makeup tutorials. Or both.

November 12, 2018

WARNING- Weird thoughts ahead, lol.

I can never tell which feelings are normal, and which are me being a giant weirdo. But for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling like every part of my body that's possible to have a ribbon tied around it, has a ribbon tied around it. It's so weird. I can't see the other end of the ribbons - how far they go. where they're attached, nothing. And sometimes it's fine, because sometimes I can hardly feel them. I can forget about them for days at a time, weeks, months if I'm lucky. But then other times I can feel them like, pulling at me. It's freaking spooky, to have something pulling at you from somewhere you can't see. I can't tell if it's pulling me toward whatever it is? Or if it's trying to warn me? Or if I'm just insane??

Does that make sense? Does anybody else feel that way? (she asks into the void)

So idk I guess this ribbons-feeling is why I'm really careful all the time. Like I'm just a careful person. Charlie tried to give me a hard time about it, and I can't be like "I don't wanna pull back in the ribbons too hard without realizing it and wreck something!" because he'd be like "WTF Marin, do we need to get you help?" But also, more and more, I want to be the opposite of careful. I want to take a pair of comically oversized scissors and cut the ribbons into so many pieces that nobody can even tell what they are any more.

I don't know why I'm such a freak, only that I am. I don't know why I can't leave 7 Monolith, only that I can't. But there must be a reason, even if I can't see it, and I feel like it makes sense that the ribbons-feeling is part of that reason, right?

There's just a lot.

January 15, 2019

Happy new year! Lol I forgot to write on the actual first day of 2019, but OH WELL!

I got this new glitter nail polish, thanks to the monthly makeup subscription box my "mom" sends me as an outlet for her abandonment guilt. It has like, every color glitter imaginable without quite reading as "rainbow" which is fine just not really what I was in the mood for and it's vaguely halographic and shifts into all these different colors depending on the light. I'm obsessed. Anyway.

I was putting on another layer because I chipped it like 20 minutes into wearing it, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I recognized the glitter? Like I felt this thing way deep in my gut and for a minute I couldn't breathe. It's the closest thing I've felt to how books and movies make Christmas look. Like I was home, with family, cookies and cider and all that stuff. Familiar and safe. I almost didn't recognize that feeling. And it came from the nail polish. How weird is that.

I mean, I don't want to make it sound like I've had this awful Charles Dickens childhood - Rose and Charlie are the best ever and always there for me and I love them a lot. But things never feel like...home. You know?

My mom always says this cryptic stuff about how I'm "special" and I wanna strangle her because I'm not, but you try getting my mom to stop doing anything she wants to do. Rose told me once that one day, I would "lead the charge into a new era of existence and access" because I'm "of the Source" and I was like uhhhh okay?? Charlie mostly treats me pretty normal, except when I ask him questions about our family. my mom or any Dram. He knows that I want to know more about them and he's my only real entrypoint, but apparently he's like the black sheep of that whole family. He and my mom were close way back right before I was born, but now whenever she comes to visit he barely even looks at her.

So that's to say: nobody tells me anything, ever.

January 16, 2019

Okay this is so weird. I wrote that entry yesterday about glitter and then last night I dreamed about glitter. Then I woke up with purple glitter in my bed?? Like not a lot, so at first I thought it was from my nail polish, but it was just a handful of purely purple glitter that looks nothing like my nail polish. SO WEIRD!!!!!!

February 14, 2019

Rose has an old book full of "ye olde" style fairy tales, and I flipped through it for the first time in forever today.

Not so weirdly, I've always been drawn to the story of Rapunzel.

Rapunzel couldn't leave the tower, or else she'd break her neck and die.

Same.

February 19, 2019

I was reading this article the other day in one of the teen magazines my "mom" gets me a subscription to and it was all about body positivity, which is great, but it was basically just like "wear a crop top if you wannna wear a crop top! it doesn't matter what size you are! You go, girl!" And like, sure. Yes. I am all for that. But doesn't it seem like there are some steps missing in there? Like, I can physically put on a crop top and wear it outside. But how do I convince myself that everybody isn't looking at me and making fun of me in their minds? How do I unlearn the last almost-fifteen years? How do I get actually positive about my body, not just put on a crop top and fight the urge to cry all day?

It's the same thing like when my mom sends me brochures from the CEO camp she ten when she was my age (her dad started the camp for her, which is an insane thing just by itself, but she did all the work, which is even more insane) and she's like "Marin, you lack direction for your life" and I'm like, cool mom. Yeah. I can see that. What I can't see is how to get there from here.

March 2, 2019

This is what I want my life to look like, volume 2:

The walls of my room are covered in Polaroids of me and my friends. There are lots of mirrors in all kinds of shapes. hearts and moons and stars. There's a record player and a lot of vintage records by Billie Holiday and Lena Horne and Peggy Lee and Nina Simone. And Christmas lights! Everywhere! Lots of of pink and purple Christmas lights everywhere.

If I lived in this room, I'd have so many friends and be part of so many clubs. My best friend would have a collection of vintage cameras, and every place we go to that has a photo booth, we'd get photos taken. Every time I'd look at myself in one of those mirrors, I'd feel happy at what I see and never weird or sad. (Jesse hates taking pictures, so even when I actually do normal stuff with her there's no evidence. What even is a life supposed to be without evidence? That's not an actual question you need to answer Jesse, it's just a question)

Anyway, if I lived in this kind of room, my mom would probably be like, an art history professor at a liberal arts college. That's how come everything looks so cool, because I would know stuff about art. My mom and I would love to try new recipes together. We get each other new cookbooks for every special occasion, and right now we're working out way through a Moroccan one. Moroccan Mondays.

In actuality, there's a dust storm happening outside and my eyes sting.

March 9, 2019

Here's what I'm obsessed with lately.

Can. You. EVEN???

February 3, 2020

Omg I totally forgot this blog existed!!

I lost the password and instead of just resetting it I got in one of my super stubborn moods (Taurus moon lol) and just kept putting in guesses and jokes on me, it locked me out. Anyway, that's a boring story.

But my friend Ximena is really good at hacking and stuff, so she got me back in. Yeah you read that right - I have friends. Obviously a lot has happened since my last post. Ximena moved out here a couple months ago (X's family used to live here but they moved away a while ago) and she introduced me to Lora who I sorta-not-really already knew, and Jesse and I have been hanging out with them a ton. Jesse kind of more than me. Which is fine!!

Anyway I'm 15 now? If I lived somewhere normal I'd be psyched about almost being 16, because I'd get a car and have a Sweet Sixteen and eat a huge PINK cake, but I don't!

February 16, 2020

I read this fanfic the other night that was written in the second person so everything was like "you." "you're doing this" etc you know?

So... You go to a drive-in movie with Heartthrob Boy, and he spills soda on you by accident. And you take off your shirt ( you have a tank top on, don't worry) to clean it up, bit you're still all sticky and self-conscious about being sticky and HTB like... used his tongue to get it off??? AAHHHHH I'M DISGUSTING

but also I wonder if a boy will ever touch any part of me with his tongue

March 2, 2020

Hi I don't know if you heard but I have friends :)))

March 15, 2020

I think I'm so into painting my nails and doing my hair because those are things that always fit. I don't have to worry about places not carrying about a size 8, or places that carry XLs but when you read the measurements they're actually size 8s too and it's like jesus if that's an XL what am I

My "mom" was confused why I needed new pants because mine still look new, but I showed her the thigh holes and she was like "that's a weird place for a hole, how did that happen" and I realized that when your legs are a certain size, you just don't know about thigh rub and what it does to clothes. Pants could just last for years.

No matter what, I can paint my nails with a different color nail polish on every finger, and I can always do a braid crown. And I know I'm cute as hell, etc, so this is not a Marin Needs to Learn to Love Herself thing. It's just an UGH thing

April 17, 2020

So Rose does all these Source experiments on plants and flowers and stuff. Tbh, it's just one if those things I hardly even register anymore because it's just always there. She's explained to me a million times what Source is/does/means, but the way Rose explains things sometimes is just a LOT to take in and she refers to me as a "child of Source" but I kinda figure that's like "child of God" right? What else would that mean?

But anyway, it's really annoying because dried flowers are a part of my new aesthetic and I pinned a bunch of them up on my wall but I woke up this morning to a freaking jungle of very alive flowers. I freaked out. on Rose, and she Rose said she didn't do it and I was like WELL THEN WHO DID and she said that I did??

Which like. Obviously that doesn't make sense. I asked her what she meant and She just shook her head and said " It's happening. We should have known" which is some horror movie shit that she refused to elaborate on. I love to feel safe and normal!!

Or maybe it's not a horror movie at all. But maybe it's a superhero movie? Maybe there's some kind of origin story I don't know about yet, and all of this will be worth it once I figure out my powers. I wonder what my costume will look like. Lol.

April 23, 2020

Is it possible to die from longing? I know that sounds melodramatic, but I'm also kinda serious?? Because it seems like one of those things that could fester and get infected and kill you. It's like when you fall down and bang up your knee, and you need to put a band-aid on the scrape for a while, but THEN you need to air it out - but how do you know when you're supposed to do each one of those things? And if you do either one too much, your knee gets infected. What if I smother my heart with band-aids for too long and it gets infected? This isn't about anybody. I just keep having these dreams about someone I never expected to have dreams about and they're so intense that they keep leaking into my life and I wonder if I need to do something about them.

May 2, 2020

So Jesse's gotten really into metal music, and I tried to get her to play me something since, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, that's what we've literally ALWAYS DONE with music and each other, and she kinda looked at Ximena out of the corner of her eye and said like "I don't think it's really your thing" And it was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me.

So later I looked up Zenion, the band she was talking about, and I listened to every single fucking song they've ever recorded turned up as loud as it could go with my own headphones that are better than hers anyway, and I loved it. And I didn't love it just because she said I wouldn't. I loved it because it was loud and weird and wild and when I listened to it it made me feel like it's not crazy when so feel stuff so hard it's like my heart's gonna vibrate out of my body. And I would have told Jesse all this and we could have shared it, but I guess she thinks just because I like HTB and glitter and stuff, I don't have the capacity for anything else.

She clearly doesn't know me at all. So much for any kind of whatever, why would she ever want to kiss someone she clearly sees as like a stupid baby.

May 7, 2020

The dreams are getting weirder and they're happening more. I'm getting scared to go to sleep. Not that the dreams are always scary (they almost never are, or not scary like in a typically scary horror movie way). I mean, I've only ever been me. I don't know what other peoples' dreams are like.

The other night in one I was jumping on a trampoline, which is something I've never done in real life. I told Rose about it when I woke up, and she said "do you even know how to jump on a trampoline?" and I said "Rose, it's not like riding a bike. You don't have to learn. You just jump." and then we got into this whole thing about how some things we just know, and jumping's one of them, and how that's so weird. Sometimes I really like talking to Rose about stuff.

May 19, 2020

So, it's prom season in the real world. If I lived somewhere normal, my prom dress would be pink with lots of tulle and silk flowers at the shoulders, and it would fit perfectly and trying in dresses would be fun and not anxiety-inducing.

But since there are only like 10 teenagers currently in 7MV, were not having a homecoming. Cool.

May 27, 2020

So, mom came to visit this weekend, and I asked her about her prom. She was Typical Cecelia at first, very "Prom is a waste of time and money, Marin. It's a night when lesser people play dress-up to engage with their aspirations of grandeur." And I was like eyeroll forever and just stopped talking. BUT THEN she actually talked to me like a human being. She was like, "I actually didn't go to my prom" and when I asked her why she said that she didn't have a date, and was very self-conscious about it. I almost passed out at her admitting that she's ever been anything less than perfect.

(gonna continue this in reblog)

#omega mart #marin dram #omega mart lore

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moosekateer13 · 3 years

Text

Your Sympathy

Former! Sam x reader

@supernatural-jackles tell me a story

Bingo square filled: Road trip

@wonder-cole colesfortunate500 prompt:

"When I had you to myself, I didn’t want you around.”

Warnings: Angst, Mention of Break-up, Unplanned pregnancy

Summary: After her break-up with Sam, she has headed out on a road trip. With nothing but her music and thoughts to keep her company. She reflects on their time together.

Inspired by Taylor Swift's Bye, Bye Baby

There's so much that I can't touch

You're all I want, but it's not enough this time

And all the pages are just slipping through my hands

And I'm so scared of how this ends

Sam, my first love taught me a valuable lesson just because you love someone doesn't mean it's enough. A lesson I learned the hard way even in the hunting life. I thought you were my happy ending. That couldn’t have further from the truth. I was never enough for you. I'll never forget that hunt where we first met.

5 years ago…

Los Angeles

I am teaming up with the famous Winchester brothers for this Dragon hunt. I prefer to hunt alone, but I ran into them when I was grabbing a sword from a local hunter's weaponry place.

Rather than fighting for the only one they had, we teamed up.

These dragons are pretty cheesy hiding in an abandoned mine, of all places.

Now down in the mines, we finally locate them. One of them tries to use it's pyrokinesis to kill Sam but I don't give it a chance. I manage to stab through it's back before it gets to him.

" Damn, that was close. I guess I should buy you dinner for saving my ass." Sam said.

"If that's your odd way of asking me out I'd love to," I replied.

Sam smiles at me, his dimples slightly popping out.

There were many amazing times together, but that one was always my favourite. I could have got lost in those multi-spectrum hazel eyes of his forever. It wasn't in the cards for us. Every girl we met on a hunt, he would introduce me as his friend and nothing more. They would shamelessly flirt with him and it didn't seem to phase him. Only Jody, Donna, and the girls knew of our relationship.

People always assumed Dean was the one who didn’t commit. They couldn’t have been more wrong. Dean’s engaged to a hunter named Holy. They met while we were hunting down a Dijin in Berlin, New Hampshire. Dean and her have been together as long as Sam and I have.

After 5 years of it, I couldn't take it anymore. So I made a heartbreaking decision to leave while he was out with Dean. I knew if I had to face him again, his sweet words would pull me back in. I packed my things and left a note in my place. With one simple phrase from poet Nicole Lyons.

“It is what it is and we are who we are and no measure of hope or time wasted wishing, will ever make it never so.”

I hopped into my blue 1976 Chevrolet Impala Sport Coupe and headed to Vegas somewhere Sam would never look for me. As if on cue, I hear the text tone come from my phone. It's from Sam, of course. No doubt he's found my letter by now.

I know I messed up please come home; I miss you.

"When I had you to myself, I didn’t want you around.”

Now I regret it, nothing is the same without you.

Please love, come back.

I don't bother replying because my answer will always be no because it's not just me I have to worry about anymore. I lightly place a hand on my stomach.

It's time to start a life away from hunting for both of us.

Don't worry, Sam, I'll tell her about you and all the wonderful memories we shared. I still kept all the mementos of our time together, including that gold locket with our picture in it. The one you gave me on our first anniversary. Part of me will always love you. After all, you gave me the greatest gift of all our daughter. Every time I look at her, I'll always see a part of you.

I turn on my stereo and hear Taylor Swift's voice come through my speakers.

Bye, bye, to everything I thought was on my side

Bye, bye, baby

I want you bad but it's come down to nothing

And all I have is your sympathy

'Cause you took me home but you just couldn't keep me

Oh, you took me home; I thought you were gonna keep me.

Bye, bye, baby

Sequel: Look What You Me Do

#your sympathy #former! sam x reader #tell me a story bingo #colesfortunate500 #supernatural fanfiction #moosekateer 13 #Angst #Mention of Break-up #unplanned pregnancy #road trip #"When I had you to myself I didn’t want you around.”#bye bye baby #taylor swift

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slimepuparibaba · 4 years

Text

ChiLumi | Hidden Meaning

Okay, so, basically, this takes place in between the Archon missions and before Golden House.

I'm gonna leave bullet points just cuz it's easier that way and I'm so bad at writing. I might make a fic of it later though if enough people want me to XD

There might be some additional parts to this too cuz I wanna put in detail how the Golden House fight went down, how Childe's story mission worked, and every other ChiLumi headcanon after that so yeah.

They may be a bit OOC but this is how I imagine it playing out

So we're clear, Childe has used his charms to woo over many to gain information for the Fatui. He sees Lumine slightly falling for him so he decides to use this to his advantage no one tell the boy he is in love yet, he refuses to believe it

Childe invites Lumine out to run some errands around Liyue. His excuse? The group is running out of food and needs to cook up some more stuff for their future adventures.

His conditions? Everyone else must stay behind, including Paimon. Paimon says no to this, obviously, since she hasn't left Lumine's side.

Lumine, however, says yes.

Most of the team is heavily against this outing, but Kaeya, Barbara, Chongyun, and Xiangling seem to be on Lumine's side, letting her go and convince the rest to let Childe and Lumine do as they please. (Side note: Kaeya and Barbara are huge playing factors in this entire ChiLumi saga)

Childe and Lumine start wandering around Liyue and stop by the beach, where Lumine starts picking up some starconches behind Childe's back

She hands it over and says it's a gift for him. When he asks why, she says she wants to try and convince Childe to join them on their adventure.

Lumine isn't dumb; she knew Childe did this to try and squeeze info out of her, hence why she accepted. However, she decided that she wants to try and convince Childe to leave the Fatui and switch sides.

Childe isn't convinced, obviously, and says that he is her enemy--she can't expect him to switch sides that easily, could she? Especially not when he's made it clear that he, Tartaglia, the 11th Harbinger, wants to conquer the world!

Lumine, however, begs to differ

"How about we make a deal?" She asks. "I'll take you sightseeing around Liyue Harbor while we run errands. I want you to take a good look this time and see the people of Liyue not as people you collect debt from, not as people you need to defeat, nor as people you need to conquer. I want you to see the as people with families and lives, living their days out peacefully... as your average human being, like you or me. If you can do that, at least consider leaving the Fatui, okay?"

Childe scoffs, saying that he'll only take the deal because he knows it won't work. Lumine shoves the starconch into his hands and pulls him along, smiling sweetly. His heart slightly flutters but this stupid idiot thinks the world is black and white and he can't be in love with the enemy so he ignores it.

Lumine starts heading to some stalls and buying some food, sharing it with Childe. He states that he's already done this before, but she wants him to experience it from a different point of view. She leads him to Wanmin Restaraunt and the two feast.

Childe doesn't know why, but for some reason, the food tastes a bit better than when he tasted it the first time he came to Liyue. He looks to Lumine, who's enjoying every bite, and softly smiles.

After paying, she continues dragging him everywhere. To drink tea, to hear stories, or to even watch kids fly kites (and even convince him to fly a kite with her)

Then, they get to the middle of Yujing Terrace

Childe was having a great time so far and was almost forgetting that he was supposed to be dragging out information from her, but when they got to the scene where the Exuvia was supposed to be, where the crime scene had taken place days earlier, he remembered that he was a Fatui. What was he doing, having fun without getting his job done? He needed to get that Gnosis, after all, from Rex Lapis' corpse.

Lumine leads him to one of the altars and says that even if the Rite of Decension is no more, she still wants to make a wish with him. Childe is amused that she would do such a thing and agrees.

She lights the incense stick and lights the altar, making her wish. Childe starts to question her.

"Y'know... I would like to know what you wished for, Oujo-chan. Convince me that the Tsaritsa is wrong about this whole thing... that the world shouldn't be our enemy and that there's still hope."

Childe was expecting Lumine to turn him down, but she answered with her wish.

"...I want to be reunited with someone special to me. We were always attached to the hip whenever we traveled together, and even if we parted ways, I knew where to meet him. I knew where to go. But I lost him... and I'm so scared. I wake up in the middle of the night because I keep seeing nightmares where he walks away from me and I can never reach him."

She has a sad look in her eyes as she keeps continuing.

"If anything, I just want to see him again and know he's safe... and, along the way, maybe gather up more friends. I want to have the people of Teyvat united and happy together... if I can gather more people together, I'd like that... we can go hunt for treasure, solve puzzles, discover ruins, fight ruins... all while trying to find our own goals, we can come together, as a family."

Childe smiled at her answer, and when Lumine asked what he wished for, he hesitantly answered. He began to murmur, searching for the right words, but all he could come up with was the answer he knew all around him expected from him.

"...to become stronger and... conquer the world...?"

He sounded unsure, because he was. Lumine didn't pick up on that and just laughed, saying that sounded so like him. But, truth was, he was conflicted on his wish.

In truth, he wanted a resolve like Lumine.

He wished someone would tell him that he doesn't need to constantly fight and bring chaos.

He wished someone would treat him as a friend, or even as family, unlike the Fatui, who either despised him with their entire being or feared him, whether out of respect or their sheer will to survive in the Fatui.

He wished someone would tell him it's okay to feel vulnerable--that the world was okay, and that he can live as a person. Not as a Harbinger, not as a Fatui...

He wished someone would tell him that he can protect those he loves without constantly destroying others who are loved by their own families.

He looked to Lumine, who started gazing at the stars above and realized one thing and one thing only:

He wished that Lumine would tell him that he isn't alone anymore.

The next day, when Lumine woke up, Childe handed her a bouquet of Windwheel Asters.

When Lumine asked why, Childe brushed it off as telling her to get stronger for their upcoming battle.

Deep inside, though, those weren't Childe's true intentions. In fact, what he meant to say was this:

"When that fateful day comes, beat me... make me change sides. Become so strong that I have no choice but to listen to you."

"Prove to me that I'm a monster worth saving."

my heart aches for these two, because childe in this entire storyline is literally trying to convince himself that he can't switch sides and he's already gone too far deep to be saved

honey plz lumine is trying to show u that you're just like anyone else. you don't need to conquer the world to protect those you love oh my gOD

#chilumi #genshin impact #headcanon #genshin childe #childe #lumine #genshin traveler #genshin #angst #genshin angst #just pure and utter angst #childe for fucks sake please switch sides lumine didn't say it verbally but she loves you #yes lumine loves childe #she didn't say it verbally but she loves him #childe goddammit why are you so stuBBORN #plz excuse my bad writing hahahahahahaha #tartaglia

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genshinconfessions · 3 years

Note

I'd love to pull for Thoma, Zhongli, Kazuha, and Xiao when they rerun, and certain new "leaked" characters... too bad I don't have loads of money to drop into the game, and MiHiYo is so stingy with events and dailies/endgame content that it won't compensate for poor rng mechanics. It's endlessly frustrating and I wish I could get a refund for what I *did* already put in because in the end it got me ONE five-star, for $120. ONE. The only reason I stick around now is to get my money's worth in time and to sometimes play with a friend. I am so sick of everything being locked behind resin. "No more game for you unless you open your wallet, and lmao your chances of getting the artifacts or things you need to progress are abysmal even then." This game is predatory and it has made me hate MiHiYo.

huh. u realize ur criticizing the game after having ridiculous expectations right? do u even hear urself. "oh i want all of these 5 stars even though the game is totally honest about how many wishes it takes to get a guaranteed banner character and 5 stars are supposed to be rare but i want them to drop like hot cakes into my hands". if you could do math youd know that it costs $365 for a guaranteed banner character. it takes 180 pulls to get a banner character for sure if you're really unlucky and if you buy that much in primogems it would cost around $365. how do i know that you may ask?? oh because genshins very honest and open about how the wish mechanics work and how much everything costs and i have a brain?? like you spent your own money thats on you did you expect to get 5 five stars or something> the five stars are supposed to be rare with a base drop rate of 0.67% (once again genshin tells us these probabilities as they are open about it). nobody is supposed to have every single 5 star they want with little effort otherwise they wouldnt be rare and the game wouldnt be fun if you effortlessly get what you want? maybe youre jealous of whales who DO have everything they want but theyre also putting in a LOT of money so thats their choice, it isnt just being handed to them. also do you even play genshin?? did you see their livestream for the upcoming update?? i've been playing since this game launched and im sick of all you new players. genshin consistently has a LOT of events with a lot of primogems and theyre all different with so much variety and fun to play. i literally hadnt played in like 2 weeks because of school and played this week and gathered like 30 wishes in one week just from all the gifts they gave and the rewards from the new event. and just from like actually playing the game?? i dont play a crazy amount because i dont have time so its hard for me to farm primos, but if i wanted to they exist in excess throughout the game if youre playing at a normal rate and not speedrunning everything. if youre speedrunning this game just for primos and youre only looking to play so you can get every single character you want and you have no other interest in the content, then just quit. nobody wants to hear you whining, the rest of us are -playing this game as a de-stresser or because its beautiful and we appreciate the efforts of the developers. i want certain characters too so i understand the frustration. i wanted hu tao, eula, childe, and ayaka and of those i only got ayaka. and i dont even like ayaka as much as the others, i just needed a dps to go well with my mona. so i really dont have any 5 stars that i REALLy wanted in this game. however im happy playing and ive learned to enjoy every character... like a normal person?? im playing this game for fun and i understand how probability works so itd be stupid to rage quit just because i didnt get all of the five stars i really wanted.

long story short, life is full of worse hardships than not getting every single five star you want in genshin. youre not gonna get everything you want in life and you definitely wont when theres a 0.67 probability of getting it and its SUPPOSED to be rare. if you wanna complain about how unfair a gacha game is then go cry to someone who cares idk.

- keith

lol sorry about your spending habits but mihoyo ain’t forcing you to spend jack. look, i want huxiaobedo too but guess what? i’m not pulling for hu tao during her rerun. why? well, i’m f2p and know how to prioritize my primos. i’m guaranteed for albedo and with all the amazing events with many amazing rewards, i’ll be guaranteed for xiao before he reruns as well, and they’re the only two i super want as of now. also, i know for sure that i won’t be able to give both hu tao AND xiao good weapons, so i’d rather just save for hu tao’s second rerun later lmfao.

i do apologize if you have a genuine problem with gambling addiction, but instead of complaining about it to us (when we’ve always made it very clear that we support mihoyo), i suggest getting real help.

- katheryne from liyue

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin confessions #genshin headcanons

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needleanddead · 3 years

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I would agree to be Lucas' house-spouse if I got the FULL NINE YARDS. I want to be courted (flowers, simple dates, and very little touching. A hand hold, a hug and a couple of quick smooches AT MOST until officially married) The courtship process would just make me feel a little more respected.

I want to have a REAL wedding (doesn't have to be huge, just a few friends and family and I'm able to walk down the isle in a pretty gown)

I want a honeymoon even if it's just a stay in the next town over, I want him to dance with me on late nights when nothings going on (in the comfort of the house or under the stars)

I want him to agree to cook with me on occasion, I want use to go all out for major holidays, and I'd want to parent at least one child together, and from that point we can grow happily old(er) together.

If I don't get that the deal is OFF 👏 THE 👏 TABLE 👏 now could I get those demands or am I gonna get killed?

( this whole ask is basically "But I'd like the pie heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side. And I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If it's out of a can, then nothing." and I'm so sorry)

Oooh, see, he wouldn't find any of these demands necessarily unreasonable . . . but that doesn't mean you're getting them </3.

- The courting? He'll do that; he'll probably struggle with not a lot of physical touch because he really wants to hold you! But he's pretty traditional at heart and he can respect that. He's already very likely to bring gifts! He doesn't want to risk taking you out anywhere until he's really sure that you're not going to run, though, so dates might be more of the 'at home' variety!

- The wedding . . . that one's difficult. He's not exactly living off the grid - he has a couple of little vices and creature comforts that means he goes into town every so often, and has some manner of identification . . . But he doesn't really like things being known about him in an official capacity. And, alas, you are probably a missing person! Lots of things need to be sorted out here, including him trusting you to insist that perhaps something horrible happened and Lucas has saved you, actually-- but, again, the traditional mindset means that he gets why you want it. And . . . he'd be lying if he said he hadn't fantasised about having a sweet, small, understated wedding with his beloved.

- Honeymoon would definitely not be too far away from the woods, but you'll be surprised just how fond people in the next town over are of him - and how happy they are he's found somebody! He's on edge all of the time because this kind of public living is really not his forte, but he's willing to try anything for you! He'll dance with you (he likes country music and has a record player; perhaps convince him to buy something a little more romantic).

- He likes cooking! He's been doing it for himself for years. If I've given the impression that his house spouse is a glorified maid, that's not it at all; it's just that he wants someone nice to come home to who keeps the house in order when he can't! He's more than willing to pull his weight. And if you're willing to eat his preferred meat . . . well, he finds something very intimate in cooking together and eating together to begin with. He's not just going to leave you to do everything!

- Christmas, he can handle. Lots of sweet romantic affection to be given around Christmas! The same for Easter; living in the middle of nature really means you get to watch a lot of things happen. New Year's and Halloween are a little more difficult for him; he doesn't like being paranoid or loud noises (military-related PTSD). He'll happily celebrate New Year's with kisses and countdowns, but . . . skip any kind of fireworks, okay? And Halloween makes him nervous. He'll buy candy and you can watch a scary movie (he has a very old television and VHS tapes), and he'll hope that's enough for you! It goes without saying that he loves Valentine's Day, especially with you by his side <3.

- And the child thing . . . He's perfectly happy to not have kids, but if his beloved did want them, that would also be more than fine. The idea of having a kid running around the place makes it feel more homely! By this point, hopefully you're no longer a missing person and there won't be any kind of that drama. There'd have to be a lot of discussion on it, but it's certainly not off the table!

(FWIW: I personally don't really like thinking about kids/family in a Murder OC universe, so this kind of vague answer is usually as far as I'm comfortable going. All of my OCs basically exist in a vacuum of wish fulfilment, as a 'if this is what you want, they're fine with it, and they're fine if not, imagine what you will: but it's not something I'm gonna get further into'! No shade or anything to this ask (I appreciate you ;_; <3) but I feel like it's a good time to express these personal boundaries now it's come up fnkjgbfgkjnbnf).

So! As to whether you get killed . . . I guess that's dependent on how flexible you are to how he feels comfortable fulfilling your demands! He really does just want to make his beloved happy, so he tries really hard as long as he trusts that they love him the way that he loves them!

#🦇 pip squeaks #lucas tag #cannibalism mention

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fayeimara · 3 years

Text

Meant To Be || One For Every Billion

8. Fan Behaviour

Your impromptu group has slowly made way through the long street of vendors over the last hour, sampling different treats and picking up small trinkets and mementos of the festival.

It's been pretty exhilarating not only with the exuberant energy of the younger girls with whom Akari somehow seems to blend right into, but also the odd tension between you and Suna. He's mostly stayed by your side as you stroll behind the others, his watchful eye on his sister and her friends but you've also caught his discerning stare aimed your way many times as well.

In as little as sixty minutes, that's quite a lot of time to make eye contact with a silent and seemingly immovable companion for the night. You don't let his demeanor throw you off, however, and continue on, immovable in your own way. Which means you say what comes to mind but don't follow the urge to stumble or yammer to fill any quiet gaps in conversation.

Somehow, it works and instead of being awkward and uncomfortable, you find myself at an odd peace, even with the feeling in the air as if you're at a precipice.

You haven't felt this level of comfort and familiarity with someone since... well, since Toru, you suppose. At the thought, a prickle rushes over your skin but you shouldn't have anything to feel bad about. You're in no way committed to anyone and you're sure nothing will happen here, regardless.

"Sorry," You look over at Suna's quiet intervention to your thoughts, "I don't have a jacket on me."

You raise an eyebrow before realizing you must have shivered outwardly at your last thought, hm, you really are letting your guard down to have let a physical reaction slip through. And he really is as perceptive as you first thought to have noticed that small movement.

Looking over at his own simple yukata that suits him incredibly well, you feel the corner of your lip lift before replying, "No, but it's so worth it."

He flicks another one of those sideways looks at you, chin lifted slightly and face angled so you can't read too much of it, "Yeah? Like what you see?"

"Oh yeah." You bite down on your lip to stop your smile from breaking into a flirty grin. You really cannot stress how incredible attractive his laid back confidence is to you.

A small smile of his own breaks through and you catch it before he turns his face away to the stalls on his right. When he looks back, it's gone as if it never happened but there's a look in his eyes that makes you feel almost breathless.

You think you actually do lose your breath when he smirks and casually adds, "Me too."

"Y/n-chan! Rin-onii!" You don't get a chance to respond as Rika bounces back to you both, "We're at the end, but Akari-chan found us a perfect place for the best view for the fireworks!"

"Then lead on, brat." Suna huffs out in mock annoyance. Yeah, you've been getting slightly better at reading him over the past hour. It's a gift.

The two of you follow behind them again, heading towards one of the bridges over the river beyond the street you were just on. There are glowing paper lanterns floating in the water below, lazily passing underneath and by in groups across the length of the bridge. Strung up above you all and reflecting in the dark water are similar lanterns, casting a warm glow over your group's chosen little corner with only a few people some distance away from you all.

Even if the view of the fireworks isn't all that great from here, which you're not sure about since you don't know quite where they've been set up, this ambience is enough to make this a perfect place to rest. Suna leans his back against the railing, right beside where you've chosen to lean forward facing the other way, with your forearms resting on the wrought iron as you survey the lanterns that are carried away.

"Do you game?"

You jerk your head up at his random question, looking up at him where he's got his classic side gaze trained on you. Hm, maybe not so random as probing. You answer just as succinctly as he asked his question, "I do."

"Okay." Another smile tugs at his mouth, you're sure he knows you're being stubborn. "Your voice..."

He's baiting you but what exquisite temptation, you can't help but ask, "What about it?"

"It sounds so..." He trails off, as if lost in thought but you think he's just torturing you for your sass earlier.

You're usually patient, you swear, but.. "Suna." but, you're starting to think his patience might just outweigh yours.

"Familiar." His eyes meet yours again as soon as the word leaves his lips and you're called back to the moments you were thinking that being around him felt familiar too.

But that's not what he means is it? You wait for him to speak again and when he does, even though you're expecting his next implication, you're somehow still both surprised and flattered, "I really like your channel."

"You watch GameOverGirls?" Yeah, that's literal disbelief in your voice. You know you and Vee have a lot of followers on the channel the two of you started back in the fall, especially thanks to both your fans from other clubs and activities, but here in Japan? At least any family you have hear that know about it would make sense, they know you from the first degree. But how would Suna Rintaro have found you already?

He shrugs casually, expression unreadable when he answers, "I like your voice. And you actually know what you're talking about." Then, with a smirk, "The streams aren't too bad either."

You don't even know where to start. The audacity of this pretty boy. Now you're flattered, flustered, and somehow offended at the same time. "When did you figure it out?"

"Just now."

"Seriously?"

"I couldn't place it at first. But then I just did."

"Huh."

"Pretty sure this is where you say thank you."

"For what? Entertaining you?" You pretend to yawn with a hand to your lips and a roll of your eyes, "Talk about fan behaviour."

He tilts his head back fully to study the sky, "Guess I can't deny it, huh?"

With a laugh, you mirror his stance, turning around to lean back against the railing and tilting your head up to survey the stars. After a pause, you give him an opening, "Unless you think you can do better?"

"Well, I could have cut some serious time on that run through of Sekiro. And yeah, I'd be the one carrying you through Warzone." He pretends to grimace and you smack his arm in retaliation.

"Please, squad up and let's see who carries who."

"Okay, bet."

You're about to turn to look over at him to see if he's serious or not about his offer to join your party sometime when something streaks over the sky. You've been expecting the fireworks but when you realize what it is, you suddenly reach out to his arm with one hand and point with the other, excitedly exclaiming, "Oh my god, Suna, a shooting star! Make wish, quick!"

Then you're watching its briefly brilliant light slowly disappear, scrambling to think of your own wish without realizing you're already making one by wishing that you could enjoy more moments like this. It takes you a little bit to realize you're still lightly holding Suna's wrist and he hasn't said anything.

After another beat, once the star has completely disappeared, your eyes slip back over to meet his only to realize he's already been watching you. You're compelled to break the building tension and choose to ask, "Did you make a wish?"

The serious, piercing look in his eyes holds you in a trance as he replies, "I did."

Light blooms across his face just as he answers, sharp, bright bursts accompanied by loud booms and pops, but you can't tear your gaze away from his own immovable, captivating gaze. It's better this way, the reflection in his eyes as they echo the light cast by the fireworks.

So the two of you stand there watching each other instead of the fireworks, surrounding by the cheering of your group leaning on the railing across from you both, conveniently facing away from you to give the illusion of a private moment. One that belongs just to you and Suna.

x-x-x-x-x

The rest of the night flies by quick as you and Suna are pulled to rejoin the rest of the group shortly after your interesting moment together. You don't know what it means but what you are sure of is that you'll be replaying it over and over in your head later, unable to stop from analyzing such a poignant moment with a guy that was a complete stranger to you just hours before.

Neither of you really have the chance to explore it further either, as you're both pulled this way and that by the others for the rest of the activities. No more breathtaking moments relatively alone together, but you don't mind too much, you have to think it over after all and need a minute to catch your breath in the meantime.

Everyone writes down hopes and wishes on paper lanterns before setting them afloat to join the hundreds of other dreams that float away hopefully to a benign deity. Your group then stops at the shrine, placed at the apex of the location, to offer your respective prayers before returning to loop around to any stalls you missed.

As you're all winding down for the night, Rika asks for your socials and you happily oblige. Suna, on the other hand, manages to slip your phone out of his sister's hand as the two of you are exchanging the devices back and taps at it briefly before handing it back to you. You smirk and mouth 'fan behaviour' when you see he's added his contact info, including his twitter handle.

He just raises an unbothered eyebrow and replies out loud, "Just wait until it's you asking for my autograph. You'll thank me then."

"I won't need to thank you if you're my friend."

"But you'll still need my autograph?" He smirks at you.

You can't help but tease about something you both had discussed earlier, "Didn't you tell me you were scouted to go to school here? I'm sure I'll be wanting your name on a paper someday."

"You'll want my name, huh? At least buy me dinner first."

You blush as you realize how he twisted your words and, for once, you don't have a comeback. So you make a reckless, last ditch effort to act like he didn't just win this round and do the opposite of denying his words, "Sure, Suna Y/n has a nice ring, I guess."

Holy shit. You didn't think anything couldn't completely break his impassive expression but you think you might have accidentally have won this round as you see the shock roll his expression right before the red of a full blush sneaks up to kiss his cheeks and tips of his ears.

His surprised eyes are wide on yours as if he's frozen solid by your words before he blinks and then it's like a shutter as he recollects himself and suddenly he's completely unreadable again. But you saw it, that moment that Suna Rintaro was completely caught unaware and absolutely flustered.

You both know who won, though somehow, he still gets the last word, "Well, that's definitely one way to get a permanent autograph."

The two of you turn and start to move forward to the exit in mutual silence, neither you nor Suna noticing Rika still by you both, having watched your exchange in delighted surprise and gears now turning in her head as she realizes her half baked idea earlier seems to have worked even better than she could have ever imagined.

Prev | Next

Masterlist

Behind The Scenes!

-Remember Vee's tweet back in the Falling Into Winter Interlude? Sept 18th (21-09-18 timestamp if you're curious) - she was promoting her and Y/n's gaming channel - GameOverGirls :)

-There was still another hint connection in regards to it back in the same episode

-One that may be one or two degrees of relation as to how Suna found the channel ;)

-He really does like Y/n's voice specifically (even though Vee's got a nice one too but he's barely noticed lol), long before he saw the pretty face to match :D

-Y/n and Vee only suffered through Sekiro on a bet from Key and Tee

-Suna realized it was crazy since he just met Y/n tonight but... he kind of liked how his name sounded with hers..

A/N: Seriously, why is everything about him so pretty??? His name, looks, voice. Just...why? Anyways, with this episode, I've caught up to where I'm currently at in written segments for this series so updates might be slightly slower than usual until I can pull back ahead. Additional notes - I don't know why but I'd mixed up the pic for Suna's priv with his main so ended up using the same one for both since it was too late by the time I realized. It'll be fixed from here on. Also, clearly, the yukata pic makes him look older but he's still 14, it's more about the visual of him in his simple (but striking) yukata <3 Finally... can we all guess which precious bby boy is next???

Taglist: @delusivist, @prettyinblack231, @kac-chowsballs, @sakusasimpbot, @hawkthekinnie, @poppi144, @oikawasbuttcheeks

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marica-ya · 3 years

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On the last day of a transformative year I went to the desert, I learned how to sand board (sitting down) and understood I could trust my body-earth connection again. I went through a beautiful trail to see prehistoric mastodon footprints. I thought about what M said about me having to go back to my past and think about how my life was before my last relationship. There were tadpoles on the little pools that formed in the footprints. I saw how it's the past that creates the places that harbor life, pero el tiempo es uno igual.

I ate a delicious yahuarlocro, it was an incredible moment. It's interesting because I hardly ever wanted to try it before as no one in my family liked it. It's a soup made with sheep's tripe and sheep's blood cooked with spices. My mom will eat it and like it but my dad was always squirmy about it and I grew up thinking it must not be very good. I hated soup as a child so I wasn't in any hurry to challenge that belief.

As I grew up I associated the flavor of goat and sheep with luxury, good quality food like goat cheese, manchego, and ibérico. With seco de chivo (which I could only access once a year or so) or with lamb chops. I loved the flavor. As an adult at my culinary institute they taught us how to make yahuarlocro as it's one of our national dishes, and I tried it then but it didn't rock my world. Do have to mention my classmate got tricked into buying pig's blood instead of sheep's, so it was not the same. I didn't think much of it.

Then my friend insisted that their hometown had the best yahuarlocro in the world and I was curious to try it. It was absolutely delicious. It was just so incredibly good, as only a recipe that has been practiced for decades can be. As good as a dish that takes hours to make can be, that holds a complexity and depth of flavor that I consider a true gift and a luxury. I was so grateful to have it.

We showered to scrub all the sand off. The desert is very particular because the sand has mixed with the ashes of the Chimborazo and the sand is grey. They planted native pines all around to avoid erosion and sandstorms, so it's a very welcoming desert. There is relatively abundant flora. It is a deep wish of mine to see the deserts in Africa, so infinite and y tan para sí mismos.

We went around town with G. to find underwear to wear for the new year. I haven't done most of your NYE traditions as my parents believe they're just unaceptable superstitions. I think I remember packing my bag and walking the block with them when I was little, but for over a decade we've only burnt the viejo and have had the 12 grapes at midnight. G. always gets yellow panties because their grandma used to get them those every new year, for wealth. I've been thinking about love and wanting to experience romantic love, so I decided I'd buy a red one for myself. Thought about the symbolism a lot, but in the end I mostly wanted to participate in my culture again. I also found some amazing hilarious underwear at that store and bought it happily.

We then stopped by the market of la merced because G. wanted jugo de carne. I saw a juice place and wanted to get some. I was wondering if my stomach would take it as I haven't had street vendor food in a while. Street vendors here, specially in little towns do not follow international sanitation laws. They handle the food with the same hands they use to handle money, no washing in between. I grew up with that being the norm, but then Quito started being more cosmopolitan and even street vendors do follow hygiene protocols now. Not in Riobamba though. I decided to go for it anyways.

They surprised me by letting me know they use the ice Baltazar Uscha brings from the Chimborazo. It is likely that this practice will die with him, he's the last hielero. That meant I was drinking a part of taita Chimborazo, the highest volcano in Ecuador, a part that renews daily and is brought to that little store by the last hielero. I had a naranjilla and alfafa smoothie, which is something Ecuadorians give picky eaters to help with their nutrition. Caldo de carne is also used for this purpose.

We sat to drink next to kids from the neighborhood playing with their uncle, doing fireworks and laughing at how we all have that one uncle who has no respect for death, but whose instincts allow him to skirt the surface so masterfully. That's something I've been thinking a lot about lately.

We got another mask for the viejo because we originally got a viejo we didn't feel a particular urge or connection to burn. From all the mask options I suggested we burned "abstract fear" (a blue and yellow mask from a scary indistinct creature) but G wasn't convinced, so I suggested getting one of the squid game masks to symbolize capitalism and they loved that. We also got fireworks and wine for dinner. Turns out G's dad gets migraines with red wine, but he appreciated the gesture very much.

We saw the handmade viejos from offices that were going to burn one of their coworkers, and I'm thinking I'll make a viejo of myself next year. We have turned to burning viejos of people we hate, but I think originally your burnt someone to give them good fortune the coming year. I want to write will so bad too! I'm glad to be back.

We walked back home, saw some viudas, some more characteristically bizarre stuff. We dropped off some stuff at home and went to get food at the diner in front. All diners for me have a twin peaks vibe but this one had it specially. Got milkshakes and fries. I am always wary to get milkshakes because they're never great. These were delicious.

When we paid the check G showed me the old postcards on the front of the cashier with naked women on them. I thought about all the things you see as a kid growing up here.

We then came back to get ready for dinner. I wrote my eulogy, so to speak, for the year. We saw a movie that I thought was too american in the way that S used to say about shows I liked, and it's easier for me to see that now. I have had my fill. It was very inventive and good and definitely shaping. So many children's humor will be formed by it.

My sister called me twice, once at lunch and once at night, to wish me a happy new years. She said she loved talking to me and it shows, which is strange because I always feel so self-conscious when I speak to her. My angel.

I feel again the same autistic detachment+boundary around sentimentalism I had instinctively as a child who did not like to be hugged or engage in declaraciones de amor. I am happy that as an adult I've learned how to connect with them, it's a much fuller life.

There are many things I feel as I did when I was a child. The main one is being part of the world. On the quebrada of chalan I saw the cortadeira selloana growing in spurts in the field and I touched it. I actually touched it. A ghost hand didn't reach from the ether to try and make an impossible connection with the world. I touched it in mind, body, and spirit. It was a miracle.

We had dinner. G's dad made a real big effort to give them a good NYE dinner and it was very sweet. The food was good but I had eaten too much throughout the day so I only had a little bit to not be rude. New Year's struck as I had my parents on the phone and we finished dinner.

I bought cherries instead of grapes this year and instead of making wishes I picked a few of them during the night to eat mindfully as I gave thanks for one thing that happened this year. Ripe, sweet, dark, spitting put the pit towards the burning viejo. We could see the town alive and the fireworks from the ceiling where we were playing with the fireworks we got and burning the viejo. I was only able to jump over it once, but once is enough.

We went back inside, I took the wine to my room and got a little drunk, just enough to have a deep sleep. The wine was delicious, I've found my new favorite wine. I texted the people I care about the most, and went to bed.

G's dad is very sweet and I respect him tremendously. I wouldn't be myself if I couldn't experience this type of depth in a single day. I am grateful that was my last day of 2021.

#the last day of 2021 #el ultimo dia del 2021 #aqui hablando

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catcze · 3 years

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Oh, Catte, my beloved... The bracelet is so beautiful. Goodness, did I cry when I took it out of the envelope. It's almost as beautiful as you are, I love it so much! I'm never ever taking this off. Oh starlight I'm so happy, you may as well have just proposed! I love you so so much, thank you💜💜💜

I'm glad Cyno is doing well for himself these days! It's not really that complex of a spell, simple transmutation really, but I'm sure he didn't want to overwhelm you. He may not talk a lot but trust me; he cares. I should write him sometime, if only so the next time an emergency arises he won't think I only remember he exists when I need his help, hehe... I'm joking of course, he's not the kind of person to care. I do still owe him a favor though. Two, now that he's gone out of his way to teach my girlfriend magic, and specifically for helping you make me this wonderful present. Send along my thanks please, but please don't mention that I said I'd write him, just in case I somehow forget to. You know me, heh..

Also I'm a little surprised to hear that name again! Collei was quite the visitor when she was here a few years ago, it's a long story, and one I doubt very much she'd want me to tell. Suffice to say she and Amber are good friends, but I'm sure she already asked you about her as soon as you mentioned Mondstadt. I'm so relieved to hear she's safe, and studying medicine no less! Tell her I'm proud of her. She'll do great things in her life.

I must admit I'm slightly bothered to hear that so many scholars accosted my poor babygirl to ask if I'd return, I'm so sorry darling. If they give you any more trouble, oh I'll come visit alright. To dispense punishment(although I'd definitely grab some food on the way as we left). Speaking of food, that's so sweet of you to offer to learn the local cuisine just for me~ you're so thoughtful, it's one of the many many things I love about you. My reputation around the school is honestly the only accomplishment you'll find though sweetheart. I wasn't really all that social there, aside from talking to the professors and scholars. I couldn't afford to procrastinate if I wanted to learn everything I could. Funny, that sounds completely unlike me, now doesn't it~ Those lectures can be tiresome at first, did they provide you with the appropriate reading materials, or are you only listening? I still have my copy of the first semester alchemy textbook--it's only about 800 pages, but they're packed to the brim with knowledge. I still reference it sometimes.

Like I mentioned though, most of my time in Sumeru was spent at the Academy or at the local restaurants. If you wanted food recommendations, those I can provide, but unfortunately I won't be of much use otherwise. Sorry cutie~

[the next page of the letter is a list of local restaurants, many with recommended dishes written next to them. There's also a fair number of heart shapes and "I love you"s doodled around the edges of the paper]

I hope you'll try at least some of those and tell me what you think. The more you talk about it honestly, the more it's beginning to grow on me. I do want to go back and visit with you, my love. I miss it, even if I don't want to admit that. It would be so much fun to sight see with you, being able to just meander aimlessly through the city, not a care in the world, and with you by my side... That sounds amazing. I'd want nothing more. Perhaps for our honeymoon~? [the last sentence of the paragraph is crossed out with a single streak of ink cutting through it]

Your photos are all amazing, darling. I just wish I had as many to send you in return, but unfortunately I don't own a camera, nor can I afford to leave the library long enough to travel to Liyue and buy one. That being said, Albedo does have one, and he already took that first photo. Darling, I'm curious, and please, *please* say no if it would bother you even slightly. If I... Perhaps wanted to take some... Pictures, just for your enjoyment~ ...would you mind if I had Albedo continue to serve as the photographer? I want my baby to be thinking of me, especially since I'm not there to pleasure you myself~💜 again, PLEASE say no if you'd have any problem with that. Or I could ask Jean if that would be better. I just want to treat my princess to some candy~

That line is going to have me up all night, I swear. I do wish I was there for you in every sense, but goodness does my heart ache for you. I miss the way you taste so much, my precious little munchkin~ you're not going to sleep at all the first night you're back in my arms, I hope you know that. I'm going to edge you so hard you'll cry for me, hehe~ I'm a little peeved you didn't take notice of my comment about punishing you! There will be ropes involved when you return to me. Just the way you always like it, cutie~ tell me, how bad do you miss me? Miss my tongue you love so much~? Don't worry baby--you'll get everything you could ever want for when you come home. I can't wait to taste you~ goodness, excuse me a moment baby... I need to scratch an itch before I finish writing this letter, hehe...~

Okay, I'm back. That was quite the itch, it just kept coming back~ that picture you sent with this letter may have helped with that... Celestia, you're so so beautiful, my rose..~ I love you so much.

Where was I... Ah yes. I'm very glad you've been eating and sleeping properly. Such a good girl you always are~💜 and don't worry; I'm taking care of myself as well. I've been becoming more adjusted to the late nights lately, since your letters often arrive around this hour(it's 11:30 right now, although up until a page ago it had been 10:15, hehe...). I don't mind it at all, since you know I love to sleep in anyway. I love reading your letters sweetheart. They truly do carry your love across the distance. I'm so happy that you're my partner. I love you so so much. I reread your letters every day, they put such a smile on my face.

Also, what's this about ideas you're having ever since I mentioned the uniform? Tell me!! Pretty please~? 💜

I'm going to call my letter to a close here, before I end up needing a bigger envelope, hehe~ I love you so much, starlight. Please take care, and I hope you're well rested when you read this. Hopefully I can put a smile on your beautiful face. I just wish I was there to see it. I love you so much, take care and write me back when you can, promise~?

Yours Always,

- Lisa 🌺💜

Milddd nsfw here muaH <33

Hi, love, I’m so happy that you like your gift! I love you very much as well— hopefully it can give you comfort on some particularly hard nights where I cannot be with you, dearest. Sort of like a reminder that although I cannot be there with you in person, you always carry a piece of my heart with you, you know?

I’ll be sure to relay your message to Cyno and Collei! They were rather surprised when they found out I was your girlfriend, haha! In a good way, of course— they’ve been great company so far.

And don’t worry about the other scholars, Lisa dear. I can handle them plenty fine. I’m sure they’ll go running if I even so much as imply that you wouldn’t be pleased with them for their behavior, my love. They wouldn’t want to mess with one of the best sorcerers to ever roam those halls, you know?

Regarding the lectures, they offered to loan me some textbooks actually, but I had to turn them down since, well, I am just an observer, and carrying so many books with me to and fro would weigh me down. Still, although I sometimes get confused while I observe, It’s such a fun and interesting experience! I can’t say I’m remembering every bit of knowledge I hear, but I’ve definitely learned at least a thing or two.

Just yesterday, there was a bit of a lull in lectures that I was attending— something about one of the scholars who had agreed to host me taking their class out to fieldwork, and I was unable to accompany them. So I took the time to check out some of the restaurants you listed for me! I went to just one of them for lunch, since I didn’t want to get too full throughout the day, and I enjoyed it very much!! I included a picture of one of the dishes you noted for me (a best seller of theirs, apparently) and I didn’t regret purchasing it at all. It was so good! In my free time, it’s one of the recipes that I hope to familiarize and bring back home to you— I think you’ll rather like it, especially since there’s no meat. Hopefully I’ll get good enough at making it that you’ll be able to savor the flavor too!

Though, I don’t mind either if you’d rather return with me next time, and we can have a dinner date here? I really like the ambiance of the place— its both romantic and private. And the view from the balcony here is absolutely magical. Or we can maybe visit a couple of the other restaurants you’ve recommended to me? I doubt that I’ll be able to try all of them this time, and being able to experience it with you would make the experience a million times better.

Also, regarding the photos you mentioned— well, I’m fine with it if you are. As long as you’re comfortable with whoever is photographing you love, then it’s perfectly alright with me. Besides, I know that we’re devoted to each other, so there’s no cause for me to be uncomfortable 💞 If you so wish to grant me such photos, I eagerly await them, love! They’re not the same as you being here, of course, but I’m sure they could help me with how much I miss you.

And ah, sending such things only makes me miss you more! Perhaps I should take a good, long rest before I come back to Mondstadt, if you plan to keep me up all night. And who says I didn’t notice your comment? Perhaps I was just teasing you by keeping quiet about it, especially if I know what’s awaiting me back home. And yes, I miss you so so much, I miss your tongue and you lips, your touch on my skin, the way you hold me and make me feel so good each and every time— Love, really, if your intention with that letter was to get me all worked up, then safe to say you’ve succeeded. My, I doubt I’m going to be getting any sleep tonight, thinking of you.

And regarding that bit about the Academy uniform… well, I might have found a local seamstress who was willing to make me a version of it, tailored to my measurements. It’s not ready quite yet, but hopefully I can send you some photographs soon 💞

By the way, love, there’s no need to have to wait up for my letters, not if you’re not getting enough sleep! I don’t mind waiting a bit for your reply as long as I know you’re sleeping on time. I worry about you as much as you worry about me, so for both your sake and mine, promise me you’ll get enough sleep? Either way, though, I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself, dearest. It makes me happy, knowing that you and the others are doing well. I love you very, very much you know? Please continue to stay safe, dearest, and know that I’m always missing you.

And, well, regarding a proper proposal, though I can’t say I haven’t thought of it before (how could I not? I can fully envision spending the rest of my life with you) I would much prefer if I were able to give you the ring and ask you in person, love. That being said, take the bracelet as a promise that I’ll return to you soon— and hopefully with a ring that I think you’ll like and a question that I plan to ask you.

All the best wishes, dearest. I love you very much 💞

—Catte 💞

#Character anon 💌 : Lisa #Kisses from Catte 🦩#Catcze.Lingerie 💦#liSA anon ily <333 please get enough rest babes!!!#muAH 💞💞#ALSO have a nice day!!!! ILYSM <33 #Alsooo regarding your other ask I'm so glad you liked the bit about the bracelet aaAA 💞👉👈

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