#I wasnt giving up my lifestyle

[crybabykiko]

okay tumblr user nireiisms what about narco!nirei

I took everything from him that’s what.

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

[andragoras-in-vanity]

im convinced that people who actually want to live in cities and dont see the environmental and emotional trauma their inflicting on themselves by enabling those places to continue to grow have just the most severe brain damage

[gravytrainnaturebornn]

the power of self-talk in the fight against self-sabotage (for binge-eaters and ppl who have never been skinny🫶)

disclaimer: this is not proana. this is for people who struggle with binge eating as a form of self-sabotage, emotional comfort, self harm, etc. overeating can cause just as much harm physically and mentally as undereating. please be safe. now, on with the show!

weight loss, but specifically extreme weight loss, equals change. change equals discomfort, so people tend to subconsciously avoid change. this is why starting to see progress on the scale or your body can trigger the urge to self-sabotage that progress and binge eat.

for people who have been big their whole lives, that fear is heightened by the fact that being thin is completely uncharted territory. by following through, youre entering a new world that youve never navigated before. your brain might get scared, say its much too big a mountain to climb, and tell you to give up. its easier to say fuck it because for most people, unhappiness is a comfort zone. if youre used to hating your body and wanting it to change, then actually *changing* it poses a very serious threat to your comfort and the lifestyle youre used to.

questions like: "what if i reach my goal and im still unhappy/unattractive?" "what if i dont look like myself?" "what if i reach my goal, cant sustain it, and then i gain it all back and humiliate myself?" can all make someone feel anxious about succeeding in their weight loss journey. and for people with overeating issues, this is a big trigger for binge episodes.

so how do you combat this instinct to self sabotage? well, im not a psychologist so take this with a grain of salt, but for me it helps to soothe these subconscious fears and train the brain to fight these urges. self-talk and thought-correction play a HUGE role in rewiring the pathways in your brain that lead you to bingeing. truly, practice and consistency are the only things that are going to cause a big change, so stick with it !

correcting problematic thoughts *immediately* when they form is key to preventing problematic behavior in the future, and that starts with being able to identify those thoughts. the moment you catch yourself thinking about food, cut yourself off with a correction. maybe even think about food on purpose a few times to practice recognizing and correcting it.

for example, if you just ate an hour ago, chances are youre not actually hungry yet. tell yourself that as soon as you realize youre thinking about food. i like to tell myself "i dont need to eat, and im not gonna sabotage myself by eating that." by acknowledging it and calling it what it is--literally an attack, by my brain, on my own progress--i immediately attach a sense of accountability to the actions that follow. there's no deniability. its no longer a passive choice. theres no mindless eating or "i wasnt thinking about it." if i eat after acknowledging the act of eating as self-sabotage, then that is me *actively* choosing self-sabotage over self-control. accountability alone can change a lot if you let it.

what i tell myself changes depending on the situation, but i find that repeating some of these phrases throughout the day helps to fight urges in general, and certain ones help for specific cravings and situations.

below are some examples of things i tell myself that have helped me fight the urge to self sabotage. they dont all have to be true when you first say them, the point is training your brain to think a certain way. it may feel unnatural at first, but the more you say them the more natural it becomes, until eventually it becomes apart of the way you actually think and you dont have to work so hard at it. remember: consistency. is. key.

okay ill stop blabbing! here:

•i allow myself to be thin.

•i accept the change that comes with losing weight.

•i am ready to see myself differently and cope with any complicated feelings that may come with it.

•i am prepared for my body to change.

•i will deal with my wardrobe when the time comes, and im not afraid of dressing differently for my new body.

•i will adjust to my new dietary needs and appetite when i reach my goal weight. i will not always be hungry; eating less will be my new normal, and i will be okay.

•i am not afraid of being hungry.

•food does not comfort me, nor does it solve my problems or make me feel better.

•i am ready to navigate a life that looks different to the one im living now.

•i am not afraid of reaching my goal. if i do feel afraid, i am confident in my ability to work through difficult feelings and continue towards my goal.

•im not going to sabotage myself by eating that.

•i accept that people will perceive me differently, and i am ready to navigate that change.

•i am prepared to receive comments about my weight loss.

•i am not afraid of getting what i want.

•i believe i deserve what i want, and im dedicated to working towards getting it.

•i am capable of adapting to new routines and habits.

•fear is not a reason to give up, and i will continue to work even if the possibility of change makes me uneasy.

•i am prepared to face the future, even though i do not know what it looks like.

•i allow myself to make mistakes, and i will not use them as an excuse to quit.

•my long-term satisfaction is more important than what i want in this moment.

•i am in control of my actions and i am capable of resisting the urge to binge.

•i allow myself to have the body i desire.

•i allow myself to change.

•i allow my life to look different and i am not afraid to see a new person in the mirror.

•i am excited to reach my goal, and prepared to navigate any changes that come with it.

•i am ready to meet and introduce others to the new me.

[valeskawhore]

“Y/n Dracula?”

A Wednesday x FEM! Vampire! Reader! Fan fiction!!!

(1/?)

Word(s): 1.4k

Character(s)/parings: Wednesday Addams x FEM! Y/n Dracula!!

WARNING: Hello everyone and welcome, this story will stay to the original plot in the show just with my own reader insert!!! Somethings will be changed so y/n can fit in the story but that’s expect and yes,I will give a heads up before hand every time!! I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!! EVERYONE LIKE THIS IDEA!!!!

THIS IS PART ONE!! AN INTRODUCTION!!

*~*~*~*~

I never saw my father anymore, not even on my birthday.

I have vague memories of him though from when I was just a young girl, And of course there’s the various family paintings spread throughout the mansion chambers but, his face was always blurred or torn out by his own hand.

Not even any printed pictures, he despised them.

It was like living with a ghost. I always felt his presence but it's like he was invisible to the naked eye. Despite never seeing him or hearing orders directly from his own mouth, I still receive them from our house keepers.

Holidays were useless and such a waste of time. We never celebrated them anyways since it was too much pain to remember.

My mother had died around thanksgiving. Ironic? I know. The one time of year when everyone would celebrate the giving season, but given our history– it was not a time to be happy in our household.

That holiday was a lie anyways– it wouldnt even exist if it wasnt for mass genocide so I wasnt necessarily torn up about not celebrating it anyways.

I don't remember much about her, she was human from what I know and from what others have told me she was a very bright woman. So happy and optimistic, definitely a “glass is half full kind of person”-- Or atleast, that’s what I've been told. —-That’s another story for another time though, no use mourning over someone I barely knew.

Still, sometimes I'd long for normality. But in my case, that was merely a dream. Someone like me couldn't be normal no matter what spell or mortal concoction this pathetic world seemed to brew up. I couldn’t even go outside without my ‘ring of cursed sunlight’ on. If I didn't have that, then it was back to the o’l trench coat and sunglasses.

I am Y/n Dracula, the only living heir of the count himself. And no, I can not see my reflection in the mirror.

*~*~*~*~

I am 16 years old. Quite young for a vampire, I'm aware– but I've still got quite the ways to go. According to my research, a half-blood like myself would last only a few hundred years. I'm not completely immortal like a true count should be.

It’s the highest dishonor in my family and because of it, I was considered a sham.

The one living heir to the Dracula legacy wasn't even a full vampire. I was a regret from the moment I was born in my father’s eyes. I’ve never had any other reason to believe otherwise because it’s not like we had a healthy father-daughter relationship like most, He didn’t even talk to me.

On my sixteenth birthday, I received a letter from a principal in a small little town located near a cemetery surrounded by a body of water. Where the skies were dark and gloomy, rain was common, and happiness died along with its resident’s hopes and dreams…

It was like a dream come true, I know.

But what I wasn't particularly fond of was what the school represented, outcasts.

Nevermore Academy; The school of outcasts and those who were rejected from the normal lifestyle we know today. Where weirdos and stoners, rejects and ‘misunderstood’ ‘troubled’ teens got sent to.

What’s even worse was, APPARENTLY— it was my father’s idea.

What better way to make sure your child knows you’re ashamed of them? What a nice birthday present dad.

I didn’t even have a choice either. My bags were already packed for me, and my transporter, Alec, was patiently waiting at the bottom of the stairs, ready to hand me my coat and ring.

I received many hugs and presents from my housekeepers, the closest thing I had to a family.

With a final wave goodbye, I saw myself out of the mansion. Only looking back for a brief moment to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything but,

something had caught my sharp attention when I finally took a seat in the passenger side of our vehicle.

From a far window above,

The one window in my fathers corridor,

The one window he always kept shut and locked without even the slightest bit of light shining through,

I could have sworn, I saw a pale white stoic face glaring at me through the window before disappearing. Almost as if the count himself wanted to see my dissatisfied face before leaving.

‘What a smug bastard.’ I had thought to myself, adjusting in the seat and pulling my sunglasses over my eyes.

As we rounded the mansion's fountain, making a U-turn to be let out the tall dark gate, Alec said my name.

I turned towards him,

“Young mistress, your father wanted me to hand you this, tis’ your birthday present.” His older face crinkled into an eye closed smile.

He held a black velvet box out to me, wrapped in the darkest of ribbons and bows, with a letter and a black rose tucked between the packaging. I took the box,

Pulling the letter from the packaging and removing the dark crimson wax melted “D” from the opening so I could read the letter,

��T’was your mothers, she wanted you to have it on this day.” the letter had read in big bold fancy writing,

And in the box was a small beautiful mirror crusted with rubies and black gems, rimmed with gold and silver.

“Your mother always had taste.” Alec smiled once more.

The sight of the mansion soon disappeared in my rear view mirror, I sighed.

‘What kind of a ridiculous name is Nevermore anyways?’

*~*~*~*

LET ME KNOW WHAT YALL THINK !! DO YOU THIS SHES GOOD ENOUGH TO CONTINUE THE STORY!???? <333

[lesbiandarvey]

okay here are my long meandering thoughts about kathy and lewis cus im kind of obsessed with them. toxic lavender marriage 🫶

i think like, they knew of each other before getting together, yknow they ran in the same circles, so they probably met at half a dozen “coming out” parties and dinners and dances hosted by their parents. im not gonna say shes from phoenix (cus that still perplexes me.. like if he picked her to be some wealthy socialite beard, i cant imagine he’d chose a wife from phoenix??) but shes from the same east coast lifestyle he is. he was definitely a leg up for her though, he was old money and she was new upper middle class money like her father was a doctor or a lawyer or something so lewis opened a lot of doors for her socially. and like when they got married he was 23 but she was 25 so i think as a socialite unmarried woman in the 40s, 25 was pretty old like her options were dwindling. i think she had some reputation for being “spoiled goods” its the only way i can imagine lewis would marry this woman like she was engaged before and there were some rumors of her being pregnant (she wasnt but the rumor stuck) and the first time he “fell in love with her” or at least he realized this was someone he could actually spend time with, its the end of some party and he’s drunk he goes outside to get some air and she’s smoking a cigarette on the steps and he says something and she tells him to go fuck himself. and he realizes that shes just like him and shes not some wilting flower she curses with the best of them and calls him on his shit so i think thats what made him think he could be with this woman and obviously its a lavender marriage. hell never love her, im not even sure he likes her all that much but she can be a companion and an easy beard. but i think. i think she didnt know she was singing up to be in a lavender marriage! i think he tricked her with his money and his status and she bought into into it hook line and sinker and i think the biggest problem between the two of them is that she actually fell in love with him. and she thought he loved her. like he said all the right things for the six weeks they courted before getting married, and then the second they got back from their honeymoon (which was just a long weekend while he was on leave) he starts going out all hours of the night with strange men. and then she starts sleeping around with other men to get his attention but it doesn’t work cus he doesnt give a shit who she fucks. hell he even encourages it honestly i think they didnt sleep together at all before they got married and she thought it was because hes such a gentleman and then their wedding night comes around and hes really drunk (well they both are it was a party) but then he keeps having to get drunk to touch her. and then they get pregnant and he immediately stops trying to touch her. and they have some terrible fight where theyre both drunk and the baby’s crying and the nanny upstairs is trying to calm her down and theyre yelling about their lack of sex life and kathy screams at him that “sometimes a woman just wants to be fucked by her husband!” and he smirks and goes “i know right!” and she screams goddammit lewis do you have to be so fucking vulgar! and throws a glass tumblr at the wall by his head and then they dont talk for a week

and like, i think the thing about kathy and lewis is that they’ve both seen the worst in each other. she’s dragged his sorry ass out of his fathers house and made excuses for him at some dinner he got blackout drunk at and hes held her hair back as she pukes in the upstairs bathroom during some party she drank too much at. and they go from that kind of life of parties and clubbing and dinners to him being in the military and raising a child like they couldn’t really become Real Adults together. but also the fact they’ve seen each other at their absolute worst: him in his drunken self hatred, her at her postpardum depression means they know everything about each other. and instead of that knowing creating a relationship of openness and trust instead it means they both know exactly what buttons to push to make the other fucking miserable. and fundamentally i think they have some kind of murder suicide pact in their marriage. like they both think divorce is for pussies and the best place to keep a grudge is under one roof. shell stay married to him just to remind him how much she hates him and how he tricked her into marrying him and how much she resents him for it

[sable-skies]

I wanna see what you have to say about horses :3

the little horse girl in my heart just screamed something between a "YIPPPIEEEE" and a "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO"

okayokaoykaoyayao i dont even know where to start uhh huh dhfisgdf

It's actually been a few years since I've interacted with a horse! I used to majorly be into them as a kid, hell probably before I got into anything else i was The Horse girl in my school/grade (and got picked on for it but who gives a FUCK those people SUCKED anyway) and i just. never shut up about them

I had a shit ton of books about horses and various breeds, my entire room looked like a horse shrine, the whole nine yards was just. Honse. and looking back im glad I had that growing up, that my mom indulged me on my first major interest and had tried to get me into horse riding lessons a few times! but alas, the 2008 recession hit my mom hard and i had no idea at the time.

Its funny actually because a lot of people around me growing up forgot I was a super big horse nerd because I got all quiet and into other things and such that I stopped talking about them as much, but again, that little horse girl in my heart is ready to pretty much at any time just give me the sleeper agent activation code word and I'm gone brother

I think my favorite example of people not knowing I was a horse kid was back in high school when I picked up a friend of mine, who was also a major horse girlie, (her mom would let her walk in negative degree weather and i wasnt letting that happen) she had been watching a video on her phone and it reflected in the window. and without any hesitation i went "tinker horse?" and she whipped her head around and looked at me in shock like "how did you know??"

the answer of how I knew is because thats one of my favorite horse breeds out there. because im a dork and i never forgot its name (technically i knew it by its old name with the slur in it, look it up if you need to) but regardless: i knew this mf from a mile away

These are tinker horses btw!! Big draft breeds with feathery legs / feet, long manes, and a big impressive build. Honestly as I've gotten older I think my preference in horse breeds has shifted to the draft kind, which is funny because as a kid I would tell you something like a quarter horse was my favorite. (though all horse breeds are good, its kinda like dog breeds in terms of discussion tho just. which ones you like to look at or like interacting with)

as for other favorites, i also really enjoy shires, Friesian, Andalusians, Tennessee walkers, american paints, and a whole lot more!

thats mostly all about like, nostalgic memories and some breed talk though, i dont actually keep up with current horse media or any sort of discussion, so I don't have any comments on lifestyles, conditions, how they're handled, etc. again, i'm really out of the horsesphere as of now and I doubt I'll get much back into it in life, seeing as its such an expensive thing to be into.

but generally: i like horses, i think they're fun creatures and i like to think of them as bigger (and potentially more dangerous) dogs. if i get a chance to interact with one in a good setting i tend to take it, and i usually walk away happy on the basis of "i got to pet a horse thats gonna make my WHOLE week", because honestly I'm not big on riding them anymore, i just like being around them.

but yea thats. some thoughts. oh my god i typed way too much

[world-of-stones-and-colors]

i should probably post what i have for larrys backstory here huh shkffsd heres more or less what i have in my discord server (which u should Totally join if u want ✨️super secrect access✨️ to this kind of character development :3) (tw drug use, drug overdose, suicidal tendencies)

- larry came from a rich family. it was the classic overbearing parents, constant running of his life, no regard for what he wanted or how he was feeling

- the rough and tumble lifestyle was done to get back at them, something that kept escalating well through his teens and into his 20s until he was a well known figure in "that crowd"

- he'd be in jail every other week (to which is parents would always bail him out, not that he asked them to. it wasn't out of concern for his wellbeing either, they were more concerned about the families image)

- all this eventually reached a head in the form of Drugs

- what he had taken though, he couldn't tell you. he never knew anymore, just took what was handed to him and rode out whatever high it gave him

- he doesnt remember much about That Night, only that one minute he was with his 'friends' popping whatever at a party in some old warehouse, and the next he was waking up in the hospital after having overdosed on a cocktail of different drugs

- he doesnt know if it was because of what he initially took, or if he'd taken more after he'd blacked out, but either way he very well could have died if his 'friends' hadnt left him in the parking lot of the ER

- he wasn't alone in this, his older brother that he'd dragged along with him that night (the brother was worried, didnt want larry to go alone, felt like his brother was slipping away and was grasping at any way to relate to him, to get a foot in the door to bring him back to, not his 'old life' his parents wanted, but anything aside from this) had also taken just a bit too much of Whatever along with larry, only he hadnt made it.

- larry, of course, blames himself, hed told his brother to let loose, have fun only for it to end up in tragedy

- after that, larry turned his life around, but not really for the better, at least not for him. he did everything his parents said, feeling like he owed them for the death of his brother

- his dad got him a job at a well respected league office, and since his parents were only ever happy when he got a promotion or did well at the job, he just kept working his way up until he got to where he is now

- if you ask him what he likes to do for fun, he literally cant tell you, because he doesnt really know. his youth was a rebellion, and his adult life is a mask for his parents happiness. what he wants doesnt matter anymore, he took his brothers life away, so its only far that he gives up his own along with it

- he wasnt even supposed to Happen in the first place, his parents only had his brother because youre 'supposed to have a kid' at a certain point in life, and they also wanted someone to pass the Company(tm) down to

- larry was an 'oopsie' baby and thats how his parents talk about him. hes the kid they didnt mean to have but look at him now! all that aggravation was worth it because look how successful he is! he was an accident he was never meant to be so he better make something of himself now

about his gym battles:

- the reason larry hosts his gym battles inside (hes literally the Only leader that does that btw) is to give the illusion that the battle will be mundane, so mundane that no one there seems worried about the dangers of it while theyre eating

- it throws trainers off, making most of them not battle as hard because theyre afraid of hurting someone or something, which in turn gives larry an advantage

- the secret? it lies in the illusion itself, that being exactly what it is; during days where trainers challenge his gym (i imagine there are like, set days/times, at least for larrys gym, which adds to the whole 9 to 5 Thing and also ensures there to be multiple people challenging at once for the gym test to work smoothly) the restaurant has a mr mime put up their 'walls' around the arena area

- and the people in the arena itself arent actually There either, its yet another illusion that disappears when someone solves the test, which again throws people off trying to figure out how things changed so quickly

heres how he feels about his jobs and how they came to be in the first place

some misc facts:

- during those rebellious years, larry was in a band as both a guitar player and occasional vocals there are cds of this but good luck finding one :3c

- being a Rich Kid(tm) larry took many language classes growing up and knows at least conversational levels of the common languages in the pokemon world (IE any language i need him to speak lol)

- his nose his crooked from a past fight but its hard to tell unless you look at him head on

- he likes knitting/crocheting

- hes passivly suicidal

- from those Younger years he has 3 tattoos: a starly sitting on a branch on his right bicep with the branch actually being an old scar from one of his first fights. his brother had said it looked like a branch and that he should get a starly for it, so he did. this one is typically hidden by the sleeves of his shirt.

the second on his simple; 'live to die' is tatted on his left wrist though its normally covered by his watch

the third? a tramp stamp he got while absolutly shitfaced one night, its got the hearts and Everything

- he also used to have piercings; bridge, left brow, tongue, snake bites, dick. he still has the holes for these from Years of having them, and he still has the actual jewelry somewhere (except the dick piercing, that one is still there because anyone who Sees It would have to be close to him, and therefore most likely already knows about his past

- he used to hussle pool

- he used to ride a motorcycle, probably still has it stored away somewhere

- hes banned from at least one bar in every region

[homeofhousechickens]

Sometimes a chicken isnt a good fit for being a house chicken! It really depends on the bird. This is about a Polish named Karen who i rehomed quite quickly after acquiring her. Rehoming is sometimes a taboo subject in some places but really that decision is almost always made with the animals best interest at heart and that also goes for this bird below. So if your someone who may need to rehome breeding birds (or perhaps a pet when circumstances change) maybe this positive story can ease some anxiety and give you a good template for how it should go.

Karen came to me in 2019 to retire here as a house chicken since she had slowed down laying for her breeder and he no longer wanted Polish. She was a good hen to him and he wanted her to go somewhere where she would be pampered and taken care of so she went to me especially since at the time my silkie (also from the same breeder) wasnt integrating with my other birds. I wanted to get him a familiar friend so Karen was the best option. Despite being raised as a confined bird who was raised in a building Karen was very stressed living in the house. She would stay very still in one place or she would constantly make very upset noises that were very loud and sounded like a kookaburra. The other birds accepted her gladly but she was uncomfortable around them and did not adjust well to a house chicken lifestyle. I knew she wasnt enjoying what was supposed to be her peaceful retirement so i reached out to a friend who has a very well taken care of flock and arranged for him to take her in. This person had bought birds from me before and was very kind and gentle. They were known for taking in special needs birds and didnt mind older laying hens so when he saw her he was very happy about taking her in. I really like this family as they spoil their birds and have a lot of outdoor space for their free ranging flock At her new place Karen was very nervous at first since not only had she been moved twice but i also gave her a "haircut" so she could see better which could be quite different then her typical obscured vision. Eventually though she warmed up to her new place and now she is high in the pecking order and going on 8-9 years now which is an old age for a Polish. She likes to boss everyone around and loves to complain when the weather doesnt suit her which delights and amuses her owners. To this day Karen is a happy girl who is enjoying her perfect retirement and is a great example on how rehoming can be the best decision for a bird. Below you can see her upset protests that were much louder in person and very grating on the ears

When she got to her new home she followed their dog around for a bit and even came inside

She even got to learn the "joys" of being rained on (she did not enjoy it and as you can see she went indoors lol)

Eventually she established herself and is a very happy

And when i rehomed Nebby and Baby bird i knew who would be the perfect home for them and Karen welcomed them gladly <3 I am so thankful Karen welcomed them so kindly as chickens can be quite mean to new flock members.

[bright-and-burning]

No bc I love women and football tell me all the gossip with mccabe and foord and the ex (who is she) ☕️

alright this is going to be long im sorry but get me started on woso and i just blabber. uhh most of my sources cited but this is mostly me going back thru texts from during the world cup and grabbing facts/pictures from then so a few of these claims are a little

BUT i promise i didnt make this up LOL i was Deep in google for the entirety of the world cup so i Know i got my info from somewhere

everything else under the cut bc this got SO long im actually so sorry

there's three primary people involved here:

katie mccabe: left back (but honestly left everything wonder woman). captains the irish national team. plays for WSL's arsenal, has been since 2015 (minus a lil bit loaned to glasgow in 2017). those are the two important facts here really but the below is ~flavor~.

she's 28 and 5'5 and she's a DREAM. scored an olimpico at the world cup (FIRST IN WOMENS WORLD CUP HISTORY!!!!) (THATS WHERE YOU SCORE A GOAL DIRECTLY FROM A CORNER. FIRST ONE SINCE THE 60S IN A WORLD CUP IN GENERAL!! LITERALLY INSANITY!!!)

also for context this world cup was ireland's wnt's first ever major tournament appearance. she's the first ever irish goal-scorer (of men and women!). she's amazing. here's her for arsenal:

ruesha littlejohn: striker/midfielder. scottish-irish, but represents ireland at the senior level. 33 years old. has played for a lot of teams club-wise. currently plays for london city lionesses, a second tier team, but that wasnt announced til after the world cup. her most recent wsl team was aston villa (but i mean it, she's played like everywhere lol). 5'6 if you're curious.

here's her in ireland's kit:

caitlin foord: forward! plays for australia internationally, and arsenal (so teammates with katie. this is important.) she's played for arsenal since 2020! used to play for the thorns in the nwsl once upon a time. 5'7, if, again, you're curious. she used to date a swiss footballer (lia walti, who's played for arsenal since 2018) but they broke up like six months before the world cup. walti unfollows the australian team on instragram right after they post a video of foord, it's all very dramatic (THEYRE STILL TEAMMATES AT ARSENAL THIS WHOLE TIME BTW). arsenal man, always at the scene of the crime.

ok so now you've met our main players!!

world cup happened this past summer (2023), btw. to give you an idea of timing.

katie mccabe and ruesha littlejohn dated for 6-7 years (some articles say 6, some say 7). they came out in june 2019 and said they'd been dating for three years already. their breakup was confirmed right before the world cup (like THE SAME WEEK??), in an article where mccabe was like "yeah, ruesha, my partner at the time..." very casual.

and then. in JUNE. (world cup starts july 20th!!)

foord and mccabe go to ibiza w an ex-arsenal player (jordan nobbs). who (in june 2023, not anymore) played at aston villa with. you guessed it. littlejohn. so yeah your ex gf goes on a trip to ibiza w a new girl and your current teammate, you might be a lil pissed off. maybe.

the sun's (i know, BOOOO but this made me laugh so hard) caption on a pic from the trip had me cackling:

(the title of the article was "inside the glam lifestyle of pals caitlin foord and katie mccabe after ireland’s star’s ex snubs world cup handshake." borderline galpals commentary like have writers there never heard of regular synonyms for friends?? there was also a line that just screamed please don't sue us: "However, The Sun does not suggest the Aussie forward had anything to do with McCabe and Littlejohn's break-up.")

so now we've got two exes on the irish national team going into their first world cup appearance, the captain of the swiss national team and an australian player having broken up like six months ago, and much more, but that isn't directly related to This Specifically.

while you, anon, presumably know how the world cup works, ill give a mini explainer for anyone lost: there's the group stage, where the teams get divided into groups (in this case, of four), and your team plays every other team in the group. you get three points for winning a game, one for a draw, and none for a loss. those points add up and top two teams move on. and then you go into the knockout stage, where you have to win to advance, and if you keep winning you make it to the final yay!!

but for this we only care about the group stage. and more specifically, about group B.

group B is made up of nigeria, canada, australia, and (drumroll please) ireland!!! it is the stuff reality tv shows WISH they could make happen.

ireland and australia play. it is (almost*) the very first game of the tournament (but it's still on july 20th). it is at 5am my time. you would not believe the timezone fuckery i went through that month.

(*ok new zealand played norway starting a bit earlier on the same day but that's not as dramatic sounding)

and you know how they shake hands with the other team before a game? yeah well here's littlejohn apparently refusing to shake foord's hand:

here's a lovely photo of a Look from littlejohn to mccabe:

here's a diff irish player (sullivan) separating littlejohn and foord after the game (australia wins 1-0, btw.):

and i already shared this on @powerful-owl's post BUT. here's mccabe's little sister, supporting mccabe. please note the date (july 20th) and the comment from foord (from after the game, im like 99.99% sure) asking if she wants her jersey now. me personally if i just beat my totally platonic friend/teammate on the world's stage i wouldnt be pulling up in their sister's comments asking if she wants a jersey now (also implication of the word now as in previously discussed, etc etc. this was the thing that pushed me over the edge into insanity at like 9am after no sleep)

i admittedly have not kept up to date on anything that's gone down since the world cup so it's entirely possible more has happened! in fact i would say that it is downright likely lol. i love soccer lesbians n the insane charts necessary to keep track of their relationships <3

[lovediives]

secret, mistake and midnight for…erm…lets see…skims thru…yes…all of them 😊

haii oomfiee thank you for feeding into my craziness like usual ehehe

secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

sloth; the fact that she has her friends soul trapped in the doll. no one can know the true meaning of the doll. thats why she carries it around. shes afraid someone will hear the doll one day. hear her friend talking back to them so she has to make sure no one is alone with her. theyre together forever even if its not what she wants.

envy; :/ her shrine. her shrine is really fucked up in a sense of the fact shes been following this idol around as a "fan" taking pictures when in reality she was capturing different angles so she can get a better image of what her face looks like so she could replicate it. its kinda insane. she hates herself for it. but she thinks its what needed to be done.

pride; if anyone finds out he sometimes cries himself to sleep. they might unironically go missing. no one will ever know that.

greed; he's a mommas boy. he misses his mother from the bottom of his heart but he cant get her involved in his lifestyle. he knows that if anyone finds out who she is. they can link back everything to him. plus his mom wouldnt be proud of him. shes still convinced her precious baby is a lawyer whos gonna get married one day.

mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

sloth; girl falling asleep one the day she promised to show up to the hospital to visit her friend. she PROMISED IT WEEKS IN ADVANCE after putting it off for so long just because she didnt want to see the state her friend was in. it haunts her every night because the reason she took a nap was because she was up all night watching TV. no she cant fix it, its too late to fix it, and HELLL NOOO SHES NEVER MOVED ON!!

envy; changing her face/her deal with the devil. she HATES that she did that. she HATES looking in the mirror when that woman exists and she has that life that envy can never have still until SHES GONE. she cant fix it but she "can" the second she can kill her... it will be over and she can take that life and live it instead of the horrible excuse of a life she has now...

pride; lemme scratch my ass. he doesnt THINK anything he does is a mistake. its intentional. he can NEVER do anything wrong according to him. but if i had to say off the top of my head. taking over the company when he has no expertise. hes lowkey getting told what to do to properly run it by the devil while he takes the full credit. he doesnt realize the hell hes in when it all comes crashing down. but everyone just thinks hes so smart so he doesn't' care. 💗

greed; HIS WIFE. he could have had a WIFE but he gambled that away. if anything he would have had MORE money to gamble if he wasnt such a greedy bastard and lied to her and exploited the money she was giving him. if he ran into the negatives, she'd bail him out. if he didnt lie to her and she didnt find out how much of a sleazy dirt bag he was because of it. he would have still been a lawyer lol. he only fixed it by giving up on the law and doing what would make him cash fast. he thought about having her killed before but he has no way to do it scott-free.

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

sloth; buddy. what doesnt keep her up at night? replaying the funeral, replaying showing up late at the hospital to see her dead friend. everything keeps her up. her guilt, the pain, the regret, even her deal. the doll is her only "peace" and even that torments her so much. she talk to her friend then. apologizing for not showing up. apologizing for locking her in the doll just so she can say sorry until her friend forgives her. she knows she cant sleep because of her own mistakes. but she cant stop herself from blaming her friends death on herself.

envy + pride; theyre part of "i drank too much coffee so fuck now im up all night" by themselves, they just do whatever they focus on. envy ends up doing more search on her idol... or sometimes she looks up the latest fashion to maybe one day find an outfit that will make everyone find her super hot and attractive. pride likes to look at pictures of cats and watch dog videos. TOGETHER oh my god. its so annoying. its just pride annoying envy all night like "hey you up ;)" and she responds with a "no" and the two of them end up "bickering" because pride wont leave her alone and envy is trying to do work since he OBVIOUS has nothing for for him!!

greed; answered!

[knight-already]

“Did James isolate her by driving people away like we see him do with Snape  ?” 

From @avegollum97​ ′s post about Severus being a godfather to lily’s and james’ second kid.

You just gave me something to think about.

Because that’s what he did ultimately... and it wasn’t just him alone.

It was her Gryffindor friends too.

I headcanon that lily’s ‘Friends’ you know :  **Alice, Marlene, Mary and Dorcas **were like the mean girls of  Gryffindor the plastics of their year. The female marauders what have you.

"**Evil takes a human form in * Regina George ***. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that. She’s the queen bee. The star. Those other four are just her little workers. " -- Probably any person in their year

I actually don't know who in lily’s friends would be THE  Regina George, cause we don't know a lot about them, something tells me  Marlene but we don't know them all that well to make that call. Lily actually could be Regina but I feel like she was slowly manipulated so she would fit more of a Cady role.

I also wonder if they were in cahoots with each other, because they way I see it is that the school isnt huge and the Gryffindor's like to keep in their circles. So they must have friends of friends. what's more we dont know that James wasnt dating someone.

One of Lil’s friends who was like, “Girl if you don't want him... MOther may I?”

an Lily be like go for it idc. but gets jealous.

anyway with a group like them as Friends I imagine it is hard to make and keep new friends. especially if ya’ll know mean girls... They will destroy you mentally and emotionally just for funzies some may even get physically and whoop yer ass.

So eventually that would have put lily in a ‘all my friends are James friends

as we know the only friend that wasn't a Gryffindor was Severus

Here is an example of the fem Gryffindor's not being angles and possibly bullies, but bulling psychologically starting with Lily first 

to be fair they are fifteen so take that as you will:

For the sake of fairness, I like to imagine that time when Lily was telling Severus,

"Do you know what  Mulciber did to Mary the other day”

We know lily is a bias source we cant trust her to give a reliable story when a Slytherin is involved -- because she will underplay what the Gryffindor did -- she did this to a victim -- her best friend Severus.

anything James or Gryffindor does that isn't good or straight up bullying she 'ok defend. James abused Severus right in front of her he's, "an arrogant toe rag" but anything a slytherin does even for self defense is "evil and dark magic. "

Yo I’ll never forgive Lily for telling Severus after being beaten down physically and psychologically, cause he lashed out at her, “Your just as bad as them.”

Biitch get outta here.

anyway back to this: “Do you know what  Mulciber did to Mary the other day”

I like to imagine Mary picked on either his weaker friend, maybe embarrassed them and

Mulciber -- his hands are rated E for everyone.

so he taught that girl a lesson cause we done been known that the staff wont do anything.

I know Mulciber is a future death eater but right now he’s a kid. A slytherin. And I choose to look at it from this angle. 

I like to think being a death eater wasn't a choice for some kids. If they agreed or not, it wasnt up to them maybe some like bella were into it. but look at her sister, she married a muggle but at the cost of losing everythin. 

Look at Sirius and his brother. 

Sirius realized it was wrong at age 11 but lost his family and everything at 15 (thankfully the potters were there for him but some wont be so lucky) -- regulus at age 18/19

They had to overcome years of brainwashing and teachings.

I know some ppl in this fandom think it was a super easy choice for a kid fresh out of high school to abandon their family, and friends, their lives, their riches, their lifestyle and fight them to the death.. But its not. It wasn't. 

I like to Imagine that after lily spoke to him about  Mulciber Severus stopped hanging out with him. (Doing to Severus what those girls were doing to her)

only for SWM to happen and badabing badaboom Seveus gets over powered by James and Co.

THat attack happened after their defence against the arts exam for owls --

That class was most likely Slytherin and Gryffindor, so only those two houses were around. 

So after the row between Severus and mulciber, where number was like why can't we hang out anymore. And Severus doesn't give him straight answers maybe mulciber makes a guess at Lily being the reason. And says ssomething against her and Severus gets mad and says something like what would you know about Lily your just a death water spawn. and mulciber says find okay I won't help you again. And he doesn't he just stands there watching to see if the mighty Gryffindor take a stand since Severus seem so keen on them.

***

Keep in mind  though it ight seem like I'm ignoring the whole ass war going on outside. and Severus becoming a death eater and calling her a mudblood. I’m not.

Lily is not responsible for anyone's actions but her own. 

if she chose not to speak to severus again thats her call and she’s right to do so.

If she chose to forgive a guy who abused he bestie, that on her. (yes i blame her for that)

***

Severus wasn't innocent but he and the Slytherins in general have faults but not all of the even a few who did become deatheaters for whatever reason but regret it to this day. are evil. and I just wish ppl would see that. 

How dear JK cancel Slytherin, like it was the houses fault,

Knight

[vaingod]

What are some of the things you've noticed about these middle class city gays and their lifestyles? What are some of the things that stood out to you the most that is completely normalized? Because I see these pretty gay boys from the global north on Instagram and how perfect and white their teeth are, iPhone, MacBook, nice restaurants, nice gyms, holidays, expensive clothes that look very plain but you know that plain white t shirt was somehow $100 to me its like when Katniss sees the people in the Capitol and I just can't relate...especially since theyre all so skinny and pretty and have nice things!

Ok im saying this all as an immigrant thats lived here for a decade and still experiences this disconnection between city gays. Its the money, its always the amount of money they are comfortable throwing away on tech like you said but its more than just some rando city person buying themself an apple product once every 3 years or something. In order to live the life that you noticed these people tend to live you need 1 of the 2.

1. Rich parents. Most city gays that you see on Instagram are these. They usually go to school or have a job like one day a week type deal but they dont worry about rent or bills ever, no number on paper scares them to say the least but they are also really weird about you paying back like coffees or miniscule shit.

2. Are in debt. Most of my friends that are middle class are this

Like i wont forget meeting this girl through a drag actor friend of mine and she was cool and one of those all pink people so we vibed nicely until she started pulling up pages and pages of clothes and shoes and furniture that cost more than ive spent my entire life and talking about all the things she wants like a bratty child and i was losing my grip on reality before she talked about her hot pink custom paint job porshe and how her dad payed for it all cus she wasnt gonna drive a boring straight car. Like this attitude specifically is what drives me up the wall cus as someone whos jumped to and from alternative scenes a big appeal was making my own accessories and clothes and fucking shit up and looking trashy but alluring to other people like me. even when i went through my fem diva phase i exclusively thrifted vintage clothes to embody a 60 year old diva i didnt spend hundreds of dollars to look good?? My 90s thrifted furcoat ive worn for 7 years cost me 10 bucks.

As for middle class or poor gays that are in debt that keep going in debt to allow themselves the luxuries that they see gays with (their parents) money can allow themselves, i feel like its a very complex social dynamic that isnt easily explained by poor prople are allowed nice things or everyone deserves luxuries. And its harmful however its explained because very often the sentiment from middle class gays in regards to overspending obfuscates what a luxury is, not a few times have i heard from gays with debt "if i had the money i would take a private jet everywhere i wouldnt give a single fuck if i had access to things that rich people had I would use them just the same or more"

Class division is really like that tho, id compare it to how middle class suburbians dont want better public transport and shut any finances that go into it cus they dont want poor "suspicious" people coming to their neighborhoods. And that shut down of public transport only hurts them and their community but they do it anyway. Ill say it outright most middle class gays in debt that do everything to spend money to live a fantasy of not being in the same social class as poor gays are doing so intentionally.

[dawningsky]

also thinking about loki & mika because of the whole. mikaboshi who built the great wall & deployed a key to the otherworld for the sake of destroying astrals. and lokis lines during edgelands...

Loki: You know… I've given up living like you lot. That lifestyle can stay in the past. The Sky Realm, the Astrals, not even fate—none of it matters. I won't let anyone get in my way. I will do what I want to do. So at the very least, let's try not to get in each other's way.

especially the 'ive given up living like you lot' ? because theres these interactions too just before

Astral: Loki… Why would someone of your stature be here?

Astral: You lout—watch your tongue! A low-birth cur like yourself has no right to address me! Loki: Haha… Don't mind me. Regretfully I had a terrible upbringing. I can't be held responsible for what comes out of my mouth.

Astral: Answer me one thing. What happened to your older brother, Lord Byleistr? Loki: He's dead. Gone for good. Astral: Humph. Of course he is. News of mundane deaths—especially those of fools who chain themselves to the Sky Realm—wouldn't reach us here.

last one i put so much weight to because they refer to byleistr with lord, but loki with 1) nothing like that 2) low-birth (unrelated, but theres also the ending to the conversation where it describes loki as 'composing himself' after he has said everything, so i get the feeling he (rightfully) got annoyed with how his brother was treated. but also using 'lord' and then saying mundane & fool.... like seeing how the astrals on the edgelands are i can see why (the one loki was speaking to was a fighter during the war? right?) but cmon now leave the man alone

Astral: You will not act foolishly if you know what is best for you. Someone like you mustn't interfere in the affairs of the world.

augh....

theres also the fact that true king & violet knight reacted to loki being aware of the otherworld rewriting history as it was happening, and with how loki went 'lol maybe its an astral thing?' and cutting to where mika actually was (because she wasnt there & could confirm)....loki..........was it shown if repti was aware of not? cant rmbr if they touched upon that at all in any way

either way loki saying all that and then increasingly becoming more confused with what he wants to do throughout the arc. my lil dude. ill grab his conversation with mika some other time(unless i alrdy have it somewhere) but i think loki & mika are sooooo...............ppl who are not fond of astral society....mika to the point of almost destroying herself had she not been sealed (with shitori).

theres also....mika was in the sky realm to prepare for the invasion only to start building stuff to target astrals instead (which is so funny on its own like why did yall give her a skydom. what did she say. did noone care. did noone think she was considering to unleash the otherworld on u), but loki wasnt a researcher and he surely wasnt a fighter, was it for byleistr? also the fact he picked up fenrir......fenrir who was created to go against god..... ig zwei falls into it too but its very. people who were rejected. does that make sense. ness is there on society's orders & gandharva. is gandharva. lov u ness tho

[itsthemorph]

I don’t think I’ve shared too much about my OC Julia here besides her bttf context, but she has several different forms! She’s sort of my catch-all oc for when I want to do fun, roleplay stuff. One version went way farther than I thought, and while I’m happy with what I’ve learned in those years, I’m moving on, so I wrote one last piece before I retired her. Writing is under the cut, hope you enjoy 💕

One day, she didn’t come back.

She had been gone for over two weeks, and no matter how hard anyone looked, they couldn’t find any trace of where she had went. This was normal, of course, such were the practices of someone with her lifestyle, yet this time was different.

Evangeline could feel it. It had been time. As powerful as she was, she was mortal. And she wasnt quite sure if her charge was. Now, her and her husband had a kid, and the kid was growing up faster than anything. It was sad. But she had been getting left behind. Evangeline knew she had to move on, and understood why she chose this.

Ben didn’t. That was unusual. His wife was acting unusual. She always came back. Why would this time be any different? And why was his wife just giving up? It took him time, time he usually didn’t need. He had outbursts he normally didn’t have. His cafe shut down for the first time ever. But these werent usual times. And, eventually, he respected her decision.

She had friends. Friends who saw her regularly, and friends who didn’t. Both noticed her absence, though, and all were saddened by it. Many didn’t understand. Only two ever could. It hurt, letting them go. But it was necessary.

Some were sad, some were thrilled. She had made a lot of enemies in her time, whether she liked to admit it or not, and yet she had also made more friends than she could count. But otherwise, the world spun around its axis, moving ever forward.

And so did she.

Forward to the future, with no regrets.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Can you please speak your thoughts on the Fifty Fifty situation? I remember you saying they were putting out good music and now this huge chaotic lawsuit is going down seemingly out of nowhere.

*

Ask 2: BPP have you heard about what’s going on with Fifty Fifty? I honestly thought their company was really competent with how they had been promoting them, but I guess there was a lot going on behind the scenes. I feel really bad for the girls and I hope everything works out, but the situation seems so messy. It also made me really think about how much I appreciate BigHit, because I can only imagine how wrong things could have gone for BTS if they had been with some of these other companies instead.

*

Ask 3: What is up with kpop companies this year its like a shitshow one after another… wasnt the Pmega X group abuse this year, then theres SM doing fuckall to keep their legacy acts and now with fiftyfity… like is it usually this messy? Cuz i feel like before you had only 1 company being messy , each year. But now they decided to do it kne after another even simultaneously lmao cant decide if this year is a success for kpop with the multiple hits -im guessing nj will dominate again with their comeback- or the lowest of lows for the idols themselves

***

Hi @jiminsthighsfr and Anons,

The short answer: yes, this is fairly normal for k-pop. A lot of companies are shady and mistreat/underpay their artists. A lot of people are unscrupulous. All the stereotypes about the k-pop industry didn't come out of thin air. It's more likely for a company to not pay their idols fairly than the other way around. In fact, this is what JTBC was banking on when they came out with the false lawsuit story for BTS in December 2019. By that point, nearly every major and minor agency had idols who had filed lawsuits alleging abuse and extreme coercion, except BigHit with BTS. So I can see why the executives at JTBC thought this was a situation of 'just write the story and the truth will come' - basically, assume that BTS was mistreated and underpaid like many idols and publish on that basis hoping that having the story out there will give the members courage to simply confirm what was 'fact', while banking on the fandom to believe the story right away (which was typical). But we both know that's not how things worked out, ARMYs were the last people to believe it and were asking for receipts because the fandom knew that despite the extremely rigorous lifestyles the boys had endured like most idols, by 2019 it was extremely clear BangPD valued each and every single one of them.

And for people asking for my view on the tangentially related discourse of JK getting his song 'Seven' sent to radio, my view is that I don't think this has changed. I think BangPD still fully values each and every member of BTS, and I don't think any member is being mistreated, abused, or grossly mismanaged. But BangPD is not their father, and his motivation to produce profit is more agnostic/cynical than a lot of ARMYs want to admit. But at the same time, you either trust BTS to handle their business as capable adults, or you don't. It's really that simple for me. More than anybody else, they know their own situation, and are certainly capable of handling themselves.

Anyway,

Like I said when I first mentioned Fifty Fifty, the group has been cashed up from the jump, with CEOs well established in the industry, despite deliberate messaging/omissions about the unusual financing / structure behind Fifty Fifty re: the formation and management of the group. Also, it's normal for players in the industry to try poaching a successful act (BangPD was approached shortly after BTS debuted to sell BTS, he refused), so it was only a matter of time before Fifty Fifty was approached, and Attakt's unusual structure was bound to cause friction. From an accounting POV, it's smart because it minimizes each company's tax outlay/payments, but from an M&A POV to secure IP, The Givers/Attrakt partnership has very obvious weaknesses, which Siahn and Fifty Fifty are capitalizing on. I have no idea how their case will turn out, but I doubt it will end Fifty Fifty. They still have potential so I hope it's channeled well regardless of the outcome of this mess.