#I was in Pennsylvania I think. Does anyone follow me who lives in pennsylvania ?? there were MULTIPL buildings with

[callmesel]

Sapphic Perciver AU

I don't know what but I have the urge to make a sapphic Perciver au.

It all started when my sister was complaining that I always talk about gays (by that she means that I only talk about Percy and Oliver and that I needed more variety in the parings I'm obsessed with.) And we started talking a bout different parings and I just jokingly tell her that I would just make them lesbians so she wouldn't hear the same thing over and over.

Even though it was a joke, it stuck with me for all this week and I cannot stop thinking about it. So I'm making this post so I can forget about it.

Their names:

Oliver - Olivia, being the female alternative of Oliver and wanted to keep as similar to their original names. Her pet name would be commonly used by her team as Ollie as a short form, like in many other fics that feature Oliver, but I like to think that Percy, being her best friend would have a specific pet name that only her could call her and that would be Livvy. I didn't know that you could use that as a pet name but I find it interesting and quite unique in some form.

Percy - Percy, as Percy is also a girl's name with its origins in France. it also could be use as a short form of Persephone, that many authors use in they fics when portraying femPercy. I like to keep her the same name as the original as it's related with being brave, something that Percy was, even if it in a different types of braveness that it normally shown in media. The name Percy also means hard working, patient, responsable, inteligent, determined and honorable, all traits I see in him and also would see in his female counterpart.

Penny - Penn, I have not really a'n explanation except the sake of keep the names as similar as possible. Searching for the male alternative for Penelope I found Penn. It is used as an abbreviation of the US state of Pennsylvania, but it's also referred to someone who lived on a hill or near a hill. Take that information whoever you want.

Other characters names are the same as in the canon so I don't really care. Would Molly have other four kids when she already had a daughter? No but is for the sake of the plot.

In my head, their story would be much like the song "Little Miss Perfect", (it screams Percy in so many ways). By that I mean that Percy, as a top student and a rol model for the younger kids, couldn't be a homosexual (in her head), in 1992 wouldn't accept her and probably harass her if anyone found out, and also her family (more like her parents) wouldn't approve either and we know that he just want their validation. Scared of not being perfect and messing up, she would ignore anything involving romantic relationship to avoid suspicion. Unfortunately for her, she would discover one night that she might be in love with her best friend, Olivia.

She doesn't take it well and does all in her power to stop seeing Olivia that way. She distants herself and gets a boyfriend, who is the boyfriend you might ask, well, is not other that Penn! Her other best friend who she asked out and accepted. They don't know what a platonic relationship is and Percy thought that this love she was feeling with Penn was "curing her" from her "sinful mind". (She comes from a religious household, non of her siblings follow this believes and neither does she, but her mother does so she thinks that her mother would think she is a siner and disown her.)

Olivia notice this suden change in Percy's actitud and she is a bit worry about her friend and crush. But because she knows Percy, she isn't going to ask her, because she probably won't response. So she asks her brothers for answers, Fred and George are not help and just tease her for asking, saying things like "Why do you wanna know? Do you goes have something?", it is a joke but it makes Olivia nervous because she doesn't want Percy to know yet. Ron didn't help either and just told her that she was worrying for now reason. However, when she asked Ginny she said that she saw her been a lot with a boy. Olivia heart shattered at that moment.

Fred and George over heard the conversation and the rumor spread like fired. There is a lot of suspected candidates that "Perfect Prefect Percy" might be dating but there were three that were the more popular. One is Cedric Diggory as it has been seen before that they are very close but Cedric deny it and he said he was already dating Cho and they where in a date the day that Ginny saw her sister, so people forgot about that. Other was Penn Clearwater as they are best friends and all, but what was the fun on that? Just two best friends who had fallen in love. Too boring for the students to be spreading around. Surprisingly, the most popular candidate was Marcus Flint, it was a wild guess but people love the drama that it would be that the good girl was dating the bad boy. Some students said that they were siting at the library together a lot that week, was it true? Olivia couldn't tell.

She was definitely devastated with every posible man that was dating her best friend, but Flint? That was a backstab she couldn't forget. She wanted to scream to Percy, to tell her that she doesn't want her to be with any other men, that she stays with her and only her. But of course she could say that as it would destroy their friendship even more. She wasn't even sure if Percy knew about the rumors, but if she did, she never said anything.

She tried to confront her once, but it end up them fighting and Olivia leaving yo the quidditch pitch. It was that day that she found Marcus Flint, still annoyed from the earlier fight with Percy and her own jealousy at the possibility that her enemy on the pitch was dating her friend, she started screaming at him.

Marcus was very confused by this and he was scream at her too. But out of nowhere, Olivia started crying and Marcus was more confused. Why would she cry infront of him? In front of her rival. He felt uncomfortable so he tried to make her stop by hugging her, which make it worse.

For the sake of the plot, Percy went to the quidditch pitch to find Olivia and apologise to her, but when she heard crying on the looked rooms, her stomach sank. Her Livvy was crying because of her, she was the cause of her pain and it was killing her inside. She rushed inside to try and comfort her friend, tell her she was sorry, but that stopped as she saw her in Flint's arms. Olivia quickly push Flint away when she saw Percy entering but it was too late, Percy had seen them and had left as fast as she came.

Percy runned back to the castle, not knowing what to do. Why was she so hurt? Wasn't she cured from this cursed? She cried feeling that her heart being ripped away from her.

The next day Olivia tried to talk to Percy, to tell her that what she saw yesterday was not what it seems. That she and Flint are nothing more than acquaintances. But she didn't find her anywhere.

Penn found himself comforting his crying girlfriend. He was really confused at first, and he wasn't really understanding what Percy was saying but he was going to do anything to make her feel better.

After hours of explaining and crying Penn understood, Percy was in love with Olivia and she couldn't keep dating him. He wasn't as heartbroken as he thought he would be, but that is not his priority now. Long talks about her feelings and fears, by the end Penn had convinced Percy that there was nothing wrong and the he would love her no matter what and he was sure that Olivia would do too.

Later that day, Olivia found Percy at their room and run to hug her and tried to explain but before she could say anything, Percy had kissed her on her lips. Too quick to even process it properly, Percy started to tell her how she felt, who she really was, and she was sorry but she had to tell her. That if Livvy wanted her to move rooms she would but she had to get that out of her chest.

Before she could leave, Olivia kissed her, passionately, to show her exactly how she felt. Word couldn't describe their happiness when they found out that they love each other.

They started dating, but they couldn't be public. Percy didn't feel like she was prepared for that. So they agree that Penn would be Percy's "boyfriend", the school already had spread their relationship thanks to the twins so that wasn't so difficult.

As time go on, they were more affectionate in public. Light touches, holding hands when walking along, Livvy resting her head in Percy's lap, Percy playing with Livvy's hair, even kisses on the cheek. No one thought anything because, they are best friends! Best friends do that! Even if Olivia had called Percy her girlfriend in some occasions, but so did Angelina when she hangs out with her girlfriends. Yeah, they were just friends.

They did live together when they graduated and they have matching rings with their iniciales but that is just normal bff behaviour!

It wasn't until years later that anyone had started suspecting anything.

It was Ginny who noticed the way her sister looked at her friend, the way they always seen touching each other. Friends don't do that. But she won't tell anyone, because Percy didn't say anything, she won't tell. She tell her that she knew, that she would love her no matter what.

Charlie had noticed them the first time he got back to England, his little sister wasn't exactly really secretive, or that is how he saw it.

One by one, all her siblings had found out and to be honest, it was very obvious.

It wasn't longer a secret at this point and in 2014, they officialy got married. And they become gay icons in the magic community.

Olivia is a world champion quidditch player, known as THE keeper. She plays with Puddlement United in a mix group. She is the most famous female athlete for her impressive moves and record scores.

Percy, (I like to headcanon that he did become the Minister for Magic) she became the first Ministress for Magic of all time. A dream come true. She was selected when she was 29 and was really happy. Hermione is on the same party and they have chosen Percy as their candidate as Hermione was busy with other at that time.

They didn't have kids until they were both 35, they when to a clinic and asked for a sperm donor to impregnate (never thought I would use that word) Percy as Olivia's work was more physically demanding. Percy carried their child but Olivia wanted to breastfeed, so she started taking hormones to do so (prolactin and oxytocin). Percy told her that she didn't need to but Livvy assure her that she wanted to help and when they found out that they where having twins they were thrilled. But Fred and George were even more. They have been begging for having their names match their inicial, something like Grabiella and Fionna. Olivia and Percy didn't really like the idea.

Molly and Lucy were born from minutes apart and Percy did lost a lot of blood in the process but thankfully, she made it. She did have to be there for two weeks before going home to be sure but it was a well time of rest after months of stress.

It doesn't really makes sense to me that Percy would name her daughter after her mother but maybe is to give that name a new meaning. To stop association it to her mother and more to her daughter so she isn't so hurt. (Her mother doesn't fully accept her, despite her efforts.) Also, they are fraternal twins instead of identical twins as they originally thought.

It is kind of funny to see a family only composed of women. Some people have been against them say that they needed a father figure in their kids life, (Molly l) but with so many uncles, men representation is not something really lacking from their lifes.

The twins favourite uncle was Charlie, despite Fred and George's best efforts to be their favourite. (They wanted to have a double twins stuff with them) he introduced them to their dragon obsession, Molly more that Lucy but still, they are obsessed and always want to talk about it with Charlie that is more than happy to be able to talk to someone who also is so in love with his dragons.

I think that is about it, if anything else pops out I will repost it and put it there. I been writing this for the past three days and to be honest, I think I can add more. Like who would their relationship change with the other characters, because I tell you, there is change. Like Percy and the twins's relationship. The daughter mother dynamics. The Me Crouch Sr situation, (Olivia almost broke up with her because of that and Percy discovered that she also likes men, she definately had a crush on her boss and Olivia didn't like it, she is a jealous girl)

But idk, how would you think they would be? I want to hear more about it. Idk. I really like Fem Percy a lot, being mtf or cis, I don't care, I just like it a lot.

And maybe she could be mtf, that would make sense why Molly continued to have children after her. And maybe she transitioned before going to Hogwarts so almost no one remembers that she was originally born as a boy but idk. I would talk about in another post, this is already too long.

Also, I made a bit of fanart. It's crappy but I like it.

I mess up the colors but it's okay also

Flustered Oliver

They were in the same page if you didn't notice.

[moonchildreads]

small town

Chapter 4 - Manic Monday

IN THIS CHAPTER: The worst counselling session ever, a talk about hair products, and Eddie explains what's in a (nick)name [4.1k]

WARNINGS: brief mention of a deceased parent (more nostalgic than angsty, i promise)

masterlist - prev - next | playlist

And if I had an aeroplane, I still couldn't make it on time 'Cause it takes me so long to figure out what I'm gonna wear

Monday, April 7th - 1986

“You look pretty today,” James said, looking over the top of his newspaper at his daughter who was currently rummaging around the fridge, his mug of coffee halfway to his mouth.

“Thank you!” she beamed. “I have a presentation today.”

“About?”

“Former presidents. I got Benjamin Harrison.”

“I don’t remember that one.”

“Don’t think anyone does.”

“Ouch.”

Dottie sat at the kitchen with her dad, poured milk over her cereal and read her notes while she ate. Occasionally she scribbled on the margins with a pencil and practiced a sentence in her head while gesticulating to no one with her spoon. The radio was turned on in the background, the morning news blending into the kitchen’s comfortable silence. James and Dorothy Burke had no one else in the world but each other, and because of that they had developed a simple but effective routine that included being in each other’s space consistently. Dottie’s mother had passed away before she’d even had her first birthday and Dorothy had been raised by a young single father that had to actively refuse to be consumed by grief whenever his little girl looked at him like the sun shone out of his ass. It certainly helped that all his college friends inserted themselves into their lives, acting as aunts and uncles, babysitters and bad influences, mentors and teachers.

There was Auntie Rachel, who had taken her to the mall to buy her first bra, and Uncle Johnny, who signed her up for free swimming lessons at the community center when she was eight. Uncles Robert and Joseph who let her do her homework on their desks when they had just opened their law firm, her feet never reaching the floor; Aunt Mary Elizabeth - not Mary, not Elizabeth, Mary Elizabeth - who chose her as her flower girl for her wedding day, Uncky Paul who had moved down to Texas for work but still called every Christmas morning at exactly 10:30 am. Dottie had not had a mother, but she had had a loving and dedicated father, a gaggle of extremely cool aunts and uncles that provided her with a myriad of younger cousins to babysit, kind Grandparents in Florida and Pennsylvania that she loved to visit during the summer, and the knowledge that she had been deeply, truly loved her entire life.

Growing up surrounded by young adults who considered her part of their families was, perhaps, the reason Dottie had had so much trouble fitting in at school as a kid. It wasn’t that she had been a complete loner in New York, but it seemed that it was easier to be relegated to the background when your modest birthday parties were always full of then 30 year olds that insisted on wearing colorful party hats and most of your free time on the weekends was spent being a babysitter for your nephews and nieces.

“Aunt Barbara called while you were getting dressed,” James mentioned.

“What did she want?”

“She says that you should call her back when you get home from school and that she is very proud you want to follow in her footsteps and shape the minds of the future.”

“Did you tell her what I really want is to finger paint all day?”

“I thought it’d be better if she heard it from you,” he said, standing up and putting his mug in the sink. “Come on, get your stuff, gotta go to the post office before work today.”

Dottie hurried to brush her teeth and grab her bag from where it was resting at the foot of her bed. She patted the outer pocket to make sure Donny’s borrowed mixtape was there and briefly glanced at her college acceptance letter pinned to her cork board above her desk. Congratulations, said UMich. Thank you, said Dottie, and ran down the stairs.

James was enjoying this new part of their morning routine where he could drive his daughter to the same high school he had graduated from so many years ago. Moving back to Hawkins had been, perhaps, a sudden decision that was born from a call from a desperate ex classmate who knew James had experience working in urban development, but he couldn’t deny that it hadn’t been a favorable experience for both of them. He got extra time with his baby before she spread her wings and left for college, and she seemed to finally be finding her place in the quiet, small town. As they pulled away from their driveway, he put on the tape Dottie had spent almost all Sunday working on and listened to her recite her presentation to him, almost amazed that this young woman in front of him had once been the little kid that had cried so hard she vomited on his shoes after a particularly scary roller coaster ride.

Shit I’m late I’m late I’m late I’m late I’m late was the only thing going through Dottie’s mind as she hurried through the hallways heading to the school counselor’s office. Ms. Kelly was always very understanding when students’ classes ran a little bit late and Dottie had been so anxious while giving her presentation that when the bell rang, she had taken a few extra minutes to unwind and get her breathing back to normal in the privacy of a bathroom stall. She was in such a hurry that she didn’t even register that she had run through the basketball team’s huddle until she heard someone calling out to her.

“Hey, look where you’re going!” one of them had said, a tall brown haired boy standing next to the guy she recognized as their captain.

“Sorry!” she said, head turned towards them as she sprinted before she felt herself collide with a solid but soft mass in front of her.

“You okay there?” she quickly registered the new voice as Gareth’s as she had sat with him during her Political Science class, and realized she had bumped into Jeff’s back in her manic dash.

“Hey!” she beamed at them, frankly happy to see friendly faces. “Sorry, I’m super late, can’t stay to talk, but this is yours,” she stammered at a hundred miles per second, reaching into her bag pocket and pulling Donny’s cassette tape out. “I rewinded it for you and everything so it’s ready to go.”

“Wow, thanks. Did you like it?” he asked nervously. There was such a vulnerable feeling whenever he showed someone his mixtapes, like they were gonna judge him for listening to Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath but also side-eye him because his mixtapes weren’t only comprised of metal songs.

“It was great, we played it in the car all weekend. I hope you don’t mind but I kinda stole some of your songs for a tape I made for my Dad.”

“What songs?”

“Uh, Ace of Spades was one, we both loved that one. The Helter Skelter cover and the Bruce Springsteen song that’s at the end.”

“My Dad loves that one too,” Donny affirmed, knowingly. “Glory Days.”

“That’s the one. Again, thank you, it was a lot of fun.”

“Any time!”

“See you guys around, ‘kay?” she started to power walk away from them when Gareth called out to her, making her turn around again.

“Hey, you’re sitting with us for lunch, right?” a few people turned to see who he was yelling at.

“Uh, sure! Save me a sea-” Dottie managed to get out before she bumped into someone else.

“Woah, where are you running to, princess?”

“Eddie!” she grinned up at him. Now that they were standing practically inches away from each other, he noticed how much shorter she was than him and quickly stored that information in the part of his brain that had been replaying her laughter like elevator music for the past two days. “Gotta go, I’m so late! See you at lunch? Gareth just invited me so you can’t kick me out!”

And with those final words, Eddie Munson stood in the hallway watching her go, feeling as dazed as he had been since he’d formally met her. That girl is gonna be the death of me someday, he thought dramatically before joining his friends, noticing that at the end of the row of lockers, a certain Lucas Sinclair was staring at them with confusion written all over his face.

Ms. Kelly’s office was cozy and inviting, but for the first time since she’d met her, Dottie wasn’t entirely too interested in spending her lunch period hiding away in it. The counselor began the meeting by reviewing her grades as she often did, praising her for her GPA and her glowing reports from her teachers. Dorothy Burke was not exactly a teacher’s pet, but she was a quiet student that kept to herself and worked hard in every class, and the faculty at Hawkins High School was all too happy to provide her with the resources she needed to succeed in her very near future. Not all of them knew she had already been accepted into a great college, but those who did were infinitely proud that someone that had gone through their class was on course for a great career regardless of her future choices.

“You look happier today. Any updates about Michigan?” Ms. Kelly took a guess.

“No, not really. Although my Aunt Barbara wants to talk to me about my major.”

“Have you decided already?”

“I think I’m down to only a couple of options. I like their Elementary Teacher Education program, and my aunt teaches Economics in Vegas so I thought she could answer some of my questions to help me decide.”

“That’s very sensible of you,” Ms. Kelly smiled. “What happened to the English program you mentioned last week?”

“I still like it! I just don’t see myself, I don’t know, being an author?”

“Well, that’s not the only thing an English degree is for. You could be an English teacher if you really like working with children, or you could be an editor for a newspaper. You could even be a reporter if you wanted to.”

“I’ll… I’ll think about it. I don’t think I have to choose the first year I’m there so… I’ll keep thinking about it and take a bunch of classes I like and see where that goes.”

“Okay,” the counselor said, writing down something in her file. “So if it isn’t college news, then what’s going on in your life?”

Dottie wondered how much she should be sharing with Ms. Kelly right now; not because she was worried about being in trouble, but because she was well aware of the optics of her Friday outing. There was a reason Dustin had mentioned the presence of “other girls” when he had invited her to join their club, even if that had turned out to only mean Erica and her relentless sass. She chewed on her lower lip to stop the smile that threatened to break out when she thought of her lunch plans. Ms. Kelly waited patiently for an answer.

“Um. I-I think I made new friends?” she settled on saying.

“Really? That’s wonderful news, Dorothy. Would you like to share more?”

“Do you know Dustin Henderson?”

“He’s a freshman, isn’t he?” Ms. Kelly’s brow raised as she wondered where this story was going.

“Yes, I think so. He… he was really nice and invited me to join his board game club last Friday. It was cool.”

“He invited you to that hell club?” she seemed concerned.

“Hellfire. Hellfire Club,” Dottie sat on her hands and leaned back a little bit. “It’s just the name of the group, it’s not… dangerous or anything. I think they took the name from a comic book? We use dice to battle against monsters and solve mysteries that Eddie writes for us, it’s a lot of fun.”

“Eddie,” she muttered, searching for a face to attach the name to. “Edward Munson?”

“I think he’d be upset if he heard you calling him Edward,” she chuckled.

“Dorothy, I don’t think you shou-”

“I know. I know how this sounds like. But honestly, all the boys were really nice. They didn’t make me feel uncomfortable or anything like that. Eddie is a good leader, he takes care of everyone. And I’m not the only girl there. I promise you it’s really safe. It’s just board games. My Dad knows and he’s okay with it, I told him everything.”

She didn’t understand why she was getting so defensive over a group of people she had only known for a few days but if she was being honest, they weren’t the worst kind of people she had encountered in her life. She used to go to a big city school in New York filled with all kinds of students from all walks of life, and she was certain that a few lockers down her own, there had been a kid that kept a knife hidden behind his balled up gym sweatshirt. Yeah, maybe The Hellfire Club had a reputation. She had heard the news about what the country thought Dungeons and Dragons was, and her dad had laughed and laughed so hard he had choked on his own spit when he heard the words “Satanic cult” attached to what he knew were a bunch of nerds pretending to have magic powers. They were just a group of misfits making up fantasy worlds. Who gave a shit about dumb, ignorant rumors?

“I understand that making new friends is very important to you right now,” Ms. Kelly began, noticing that a door that had been wide open for months had been closed in front of her in a matter of seconds.

“I’m not going to tell you what you should do with your life, you are going to turn 18 soon, and if your father trusts your choices, then what I say really holds no weight for you.”

“They really aren’t bad people,” Dottie said, her voice just loud enough to not be considered a whisper. “They invited me to join them for lunch. No one has done that since my first week here.”

“And that sounds really lovely. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t be so trusting of people you’ve only just met. You’re headed to a great college with a scholarship that a lot of Hawkins kids would love to have. I would just hate to see you get lost right at the finish line.”

She doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about, Dottie ground her teeth as she walked down the hallway to the cafeteria. They are good people. Who cares if they smoke a little weed sometimes? Dad did it in college and still graduated with honors. I’m like 95% sure Uncky Paul was high when he walked up the stage to get his diploma. She hadn’t noticed she was sulking until she walked into the cafeteria and spotted Dustin and Gareth waving at her enthusiastically. The corners of her mouth lifted and she hurried to them, the paper bag containing her lunch (a cheese and tomato sandwich with mayo on white bread, perfectly boring and made with a lot of love by her dad) swinging wildly from her hand.

Dottie sat down between them, instantly tuning into the discussion Mike and Donny were having about a comic book she hadn’t read and knew nothing about. She picked up the tab from Dustin’s soda can that was discarded on the table and fiddled with it while she listened to them. At some point, Jeff burped and the entire group erupted in protests. She felt… cozy. Included. She felt less lonely, less awkward, less invisible. Like she finally belonged somewhere.

“You read comic books?” asked Gareth, who was sitting to her right.

“No, not really. I prefer books.”

“What do you read?”

“Anything, really. Whatever I can get my hands on. I get my books from the library mostly,” she dropped her tone to resemble a stage whisper. “Sometimes, if I’m feeling adventurous, I pick a book only if the cover looks cool.”

“No way,” he gasped dramatically, matching her tone. “What happened to not judging a book by its cover?”

“What can I say, I’m a rebel,” they both giggled, knowing that out of the two of them, Gareth was the closest thing to a bad boy and yet he was still miles away from a regular Danny Zuko. “Can I ask you a weird question?”

“Sure,” the boy said, intrigued.

“Do you do something with your hair before you come to school?”

“I shower?”

“That’s it?”

“Is there something wrong with my hair?” he lifted his hand to touch his head, worried about what he could find.

“No, that’s why I ask,” she laughed, reaching to touch his hair too. “Your curls look great. I can’t get mine to be this defined in this weather.”

Gareth’s body began trembling with laughter, his head bumping into her raised hand as he rocked back and forth completely taken aback by her question. Certainly hair care was not in his list of topics to talk about during lunch, or at any point in his life, really. He just used the shampoo his mom bought and called it a day. Dottie laughed with him too, realizing that she was asking a metalhead about curl definition.

“What are we laughing about?” Dustin asked, curiously.

“Hair products. Any recommendations for curly hair?” Dottie said, sending Gareth into another fit of laughter.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” the younger boy said mysteriously. Steve would never trust him again if he knew he had shared his sacred routine with others.

The cafeteria began clearing out soon enough as everyone got ready for class again. First Dustin and Mike, then Jeff, Donny and finally Gareth until the only ones left at the table were Eddie and Dottie. She waved goodbye to the boys as they left, noticing that her being at the specific table she was sitting at seemed to be some sort of must-see sight for other seniors. Dottie was all too aware of the way the two preppy girls that sat to her left in Psych were gossiping into each others’ ears while taking peeks at her on their way to the door. When she turned to the only other person left seated at the table, she found Eddie analyzing her with big brown eyes. He resembled a lost puppy when he tilted his head to the side.

“Everything okay?” he asked, his voice softer than she’d ever heard coming from him before.

“Yeah. Just, y’know,” she shuffled closer to him so they could chat without the whole table separating them. “The staring. I thought I’d stopped being news around the third week of January.”

“They aren’t staring because you are new,” Eddie crossed his arms. “They stare because you are sitting at the freaks’ table. And forgive me for saying this, darling, but you don’t exactly look like a freak.”

“You don’t know what I look like under the makeup,” she argued.

“You aren’t wearing any.”

“Are you a makeup expert now?”

“I’m an expert in many things,” he leaned forward. The cafeteria was almost empty. “You have English Lit now, right?”

“How’d you know?” she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Because I am pretty sure you’ve been sitting like three seats away from me since you got here.”

“Oh.”

Dottie felt her ears grow hot. She’d said a lot of stupid poetic shit in that class without knowing he was there too. She hoped he didn’t remember any of it. Actually, she hoped none of her classmates remembered anything she had said in English Lit for the past three months. All her assignments had been particularly depressing and dramatic lately; one could only be thankful that the teacher didn’t make them read their work out loud.

“Come on, we’re gonna be late and I’m really trying to graduate this time around.”

“This time?” she asked as they walked to their shared class.

“I, uh,” Eddie scratched his ear. “I got held back. Twice.”

“Oh. So you’re 20?”

“19. I turn 20 in May.”

“Well, you know what they say, third time’s a charm.”

“I really hope you’re right, princess. Hawkins High is my own personal circle of Hell at this point.”

Eddie noticed that she was chewing on the inside of her cheek as they got seated for class. He also noticed that she had sat at the table right next to his instead of the one she had been using for most of the semester. No one would bother her, the entire back row tended to remain empty, especially whatever seat was next to his. But still, it was a welcome change, if an unexpected one. Some of their classmates looked at them with mild confusion, but he was positively certain that by the time class started, they’d have forgotten about the new seating arrangement. There was loud chatter as the bell rang and everyone tried to squeeze in their last bits of gossip before the teacher arrived.

“Eddie?” she asked, pulling him out of his trance. “What’s with the nicknames?”

“Huh?”

“The nicknames. You kept calling me princess and darling on Friday, and that was okay, but you’re doing it now too and… you don’t call the guys anything special out of the game. I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or not.”

“Does it bother you?”

“That you’re making fun of me?”

“I’m not making fun of you,” he said, suddenly serious.

“Oh. Okay then.”

“Do the names bother you?”

“No. Not if you’re not making fun of me.”

“I’m not.”

“Then they don’t bother me,” she was strangely quiet and detached when she said that, not even sparing a glance in his direction.

Mrs. O’Donnell walking in and greeting everyone dislodged her from her stillness and she busied herself with finding the book report the old lady was requesting would be passed to the front. Eddie noted that his looked significantly shorter than hers, at least by a full page. He lowered his voice so it would be masked by the soft chitchat and leaned towards her seat.

“I like alliteration,” he confessed. “Jeff the Just, Gareth the Great, Dottie the Darling,” she blinked at him, her report still in her hand. “I already used daring and deadly for Dustin and Donny, it was either darling or destroyer for you, so, take your pick.”

“And princess? Because Erica gets to be a Lady?”

“No, I just like seeing you get all flustered,” he admitted, a playful smile on his lips.

She rolled her eyes at him, he chuckled, and all the nervous tension between them dissipated. Neither had noticed that all the reports were being counted by the teacher while they were talking.

“I’m missing two, who didn’t do their homework? Munson?” Mrs. O’Donnell asked, not an ounce of patience in her voice.

Both misbehaving students sprang to attention, sitting very upright and avoiding each others’ eyes. The boy was about to say something to defend his honor when Dottie stood up, snatched his paper from his desk and delivered it to the teacher along with her own. The woman looked at her curiously, noticing that she wasn’t seated at her usual spot; a different boy was occupying that chair today. She directed her gaze towards Eddie who was trying very hard to look nonchalant by staring at his own crossed arms resting on the table.

“Miss Burke, do you want to sit closer to the front?” she asked, her voice low to add privacy to the conversation but the classroom was so quiet a pin falling to the floor could have been heard.

“No, ma’am, I’m okay with my seat,” Dottie smiled confidently, and walked back to her chair. As soon as the teacher had recovered and turned around to start writing on the blackboard, she leaned over to Eddie for one final time. “I like the nicknames, Eddie the Endearing,” he was suddenly thankful his wild hair was covering his red ears, but she noticed his reaction anyways. “Or maybe you’d prefer to be called Master. You seemed to enjoy that one on Friday.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he managed to get out, a mischevious grin spreading on his face. She held back a chuckle and sat back straight in her seat, picking up her pen and starting to copy the names on the blackboard onto her notebook. Eddie stared at her for a few seconds, the gears in his brain spinning at double time, before he too grabbed a pen and began taking notes to force himself to stop looking at her profile like a creep. This is gonna get very interesting, was the last thing he thought before getting distracted by threats of pop quizzes and overinterpretations of what authors had really meant in their prose.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I was roaming aimlessly around google maps earlier and just came across a dunkin donuts and was struck with emotion .....aaaaaaa.... I hate living in a place without them now I miss them hgjhvbhjc

[buckleyblueyes]

buddie + " you're shivering. here, take my jacket. "

So, it's July, it's 95 degrees outside, and I have written Christmas/winter themed fluff ft. Eddie being touch starved and having a conniption over wearing Buck's jacket. Blame the prompt? I hope you enjoy!

Eddie isn’t cold. He’s not. It’s barely below sixty degrees fahrenheit, so he isn’t cold. It would be ridiculous for anyone to be cold. He’s fine. He’s sitting outside, on the frigid stone edge of a large fountain, in the middle of December, and he’s fine.

“I told you to bring a jacket,” Buck says smugly. “I knew you would be cold.”

Eddie grits his teeth. “I’m not cold.”

“Uh-uh.” Buck gives him a look of fond exasperation. “Which is why you’re currently staring down a mall Santa like if you glare hard enough at him, he’ll move through the line faster.

“I am not.” Eddie is not glaring at Santa Clause. He would never glare at the physical embodiment of Christmas joy. Least of all on what will probably be one of Christopher’s last trips like this. Next year he’ll be eleven, a full fledged preteen. He’s already expressed doubt over the legitimacy of Santa Clause. Next year Eddie is sure his son will want to skip the mall entirely. So, no. Eddie is not staring down Santa and willing him to move fast. Santa’s Elf on the other hand?

Buck grins. “Not glaring or not cold?”

“Both!” Eddie snaps.

“You’re shivering,” Buck sighs, eyeing him carefully, before pulling at the sleeves of the coat he’s wearing. “Here, take my jacket.”

Eddie wants to protest, opens his mouth to insist he’s fine, that he’s not cold. But the wind picks up, and his body betrays him, openly shaking in the chill of the December air. Buck gives him a look, as if to say see? before sliding his jacket the rest of the way off.

Eddie takes it, holding it in his hands. It’s a beige hoodie, with a thick fleece lining that’s soft to the touch, and it smells like Buck, warm and spicy and comforting. “Won’t you be cold?”

Buck shrugs. “I’m from Pennsylvania, Eddie. We have this thing called snow? It’s white and cold and it falls from the sky. I’ll be fine.”

Eddie could do without the sarcasm, but he can’t bring himself to turn down the jacket. He pulls it on and immediately relaxes into the warmth. It’s something akin to the feeling of being wrapped up in Buck’s arms--which is something Eddie doesn’t have nearly as much as experience with as he wishes, a desire which he finds himself desperate to give into everytime Buck pulls him into a bro-hug, a want so strong that he is always the first the pull away--and if wearing this jacket is the closest he can get to being held in Buck’s arms for an extended period of time, well. He’s going to take it. “You know,” he starts. “I have seen snow before.”

Buck laughs. “Maybe on TV.”

“In real life!” Eddie insists. “It snows in Texas sometimes!”

“Yeah, maybe,” Buck admits, thinking back to the news stories about the freak storms in Texas. “But not regularly, and not in El Paso, and certainly not when you were a kid, old man.”

“I’m four years older than you,” Eddie huffs. “Anyways, it frosted sometimes.”

“That’s not snow, Edmundo.” Buck rolls his eyes. “I’m talking about waking up in the morning to see your normally boring suburban block is covered in at least a foot of snow. I’m talking about boots stuck in snow drifts. I’m talking about peeling off your cold, wet clothes at the end of the day and curling up in front of the fire.”

Eddie has to admit, it sounds nice. “Alright, I’ve never seen that kind of snow before.”

Buck grins, a slight twinkle in his eye. “Maybe I should show you that kind of snow sometime.”

If it was anyone else, the idea of casually implying a shared vacation with your totally platonic best friend might seem weird. But it’s Buck, and knowing Buck, he’s probably already envisioning teaching Christopher how to build a snowman and thinking about how to make sledding as accessible as possible. Not about the inherent romance of a cabin in the snow, sitting by the fire, surrounded by nothing but quiet and calm. Eddie shakes his head, as if he can shake those thoughts out through his ears if he tries hard enough. “Maybe,” he agrees, quietly, even though he thinks he should probably say no.

Buck looks like he’s about to say something else, but that’s when Christopher gets up to Santa. Eddie reaches into his jeans pocket to pull out his phone, but he stops when he sees that Buck already has his out and is snapping pictures.

“Send those to me, will you?”

Buck is giving him that fondly exasperated look again. “Obviously.” In moments like these, when Buck is taking pictures of Eddie’s son with Santa Clause, and Eddie’s wearing Buck’s jacket, and their thighs are pressed together, he thinks Buck might be feeling what he’s feeling. The fountain shoots up behind Buck, creating a sort of halo around his head, and Eddie wants to kiss him. He doesn’t.

“Just making sure,” Eddie mumbles into the hood of Buck’s jacket, turning his head to focus on Christopher, watching as he laughs at something Santa says.

“He’s getting so big,” Buck says wistfully. “I remember the first time I came with you guys for this. He was so much smaller then.”

Eddie’s chest burns at the reminder of their first Christmas in LA, of Shannon coming back into their lives, only to leave permanently. But it’s a happy memory, too, one of the best memories they have as a family. So, he shakes it off. “Pretty soon he’ll be too old for this.”

“Don’t make me think about that,” Buck shudders. “He’s supposed to stay a kid forever.”

“Unfortunately, that’s not how it works,” Eddie responds, watching as Christopher hops off Santa’s lap and begins heading back towards the fountain. Eddie reaches out as Christopher approaches, pulling him into a quick hug.

“What’d you ask Santa for, Superman?” Buck asks, smiling widely.

“Can’t tell you.”

“Aw, come on.” Buck faux-whines, before leaning down to Chris’s level. “You can whisper it in my ear, if you don’t want to tell your dad.”

“Nope,” Christopher shakes his head. “I can’t tell anyone, or it won’t come true.”

The exchange is very familiar to Eddie, who just shakes his head. “Alright boys, let’s head home, and maybe Buck can make us his peppermint hot cocoa.”

Christopher’s eyes light up. It’s not a secret that both Diaz men love Buck’s hot cocoa recipe (which is really just a variation on Bobby’s cocoa recipe, but with a touch of peppermint extract). “Will you?”

Buck avoids looking directly at Christopher, knowing he’ll fold instantly if he does. “I don’t know, do you think it’s cold enough for hot cocoa?”

Christopher glances down at the thick coat that Eddie bundled him in earlier, because of course he remembered Christopher’s jacket and not his own. “I think so.”

Eddie pinches his lips together. “Does cocoa necessitate cold? I feel like it’s just a festive thing to do.”

Buck groans. “You’re so stubborn.”

“So, is that a yes or a no on the hot cocoa?” Eddie asks.

“As if you didn’t know the second you asked that I would make it.”

Eddie did know, but it warms him all the same to hear it out loud, and a smile pulls on the corners of lips, as Christopher cheers. “I know.”

Buck just turns and walks off towards Eddie’s truck, Christopher following close behind him. Eddie lingers for a minute, watching his son and his--well, the man he loves--continue to talk and laugh.

The voice comes from behind him. “You have a wonderful family.”

He gives the elf a small smile, even as his heart aches. “Yeah,” he agrees, because they are wonderful, more wonderful than he probably deserves. “I do.”

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

💭- ɟ

Heellooo babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 I’m so sorry for the delay, but I’ve been pretty busy. I haven’t forgotten about you. I’m alive, and as I said I would, even if late I will always answer you. And trust me, I feel so bad for the delay, but I’ve prepared a bonus at the end of the post that I hope will make it up to you 🙏🏼

Now. Without making you wait any longer, let’s move on to the questions Mari sent to me.

I can sure try, dear Anon 🙃 1) Yes, I firmly believe in the theory that Lauren went to Camila right after the concert. 2) Camila ended up in the hospital for the same reasons she’s been there other times too: stress, lack of sleep, dehydration, weariness, and, you know, general weakness because they were overworked. 3) No, she was already gone at that time. That episode was released on November 1, 2014, but was filmed on August 21st in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania during the ‘Austin Mahone: Live on Tour’. Camren were already official in April 🥳

 I really don’t think she was watching porn, dear Anon. I have two theories on this, but neither of them includes porn. Theory number 1, Camila and Lauren arranged to pull a prank on the girls, not giving a damn about the cameraman. They faked those moans to prank DNA. Theory number 2, it was all true (at that age especially, are more the times when hormones control you and not the other way around 🤣) and they didn’t give a damn about the cameraman and anyone else also for an act of rebellion.

The takeover begins with Ally. While Ally talks to ‘us’, Lauren is shown for literally two seconds while she’s on a video call with someone. At 0:04, you can hear her say something like “Hey, it’s okay, baby”, followed by “I wanna do it” at 0:08. Lauren is no longer seen for the rest of the takeover.

The first “Ahh” said by (in my opinion) Camila, happens at 0:50. The way DNA crack up, and Ally’s cheeks that get so red with embarrassment, I find hilariously funny in itself. As well as the teasing made by DNA towards Camila. But Normani… NORMANI KORDEI HAMILTON, guuurl! And do we want to talk about Ally? The “You too with your water” said in THAT way after Camila’s “Have fun with the movie”? Whatcha mean, girl, whatcha mean? 😝🤣

At 2:05, while Camila is eating, Lauren says something like “Gimmie” to her before Mila reaches out her arm to really give her whatever she’s eating. At 3:00, people hear “Keep going”, while I hear “Don’t stop” with a moan, immediately followed then by the other “Ahh”. Lauren, in my opinion. “Ahh” that Mani then repeats at 3:08 to make fun of them. And no, don’t tell me things like ‘but she hit her head’ because if you see the scene in slow motion, at 0.5 speed, you’ll notice that she doesn’t hit it at all and that she said it to imitate them and make Ally laugh. And then, there’s the difference in the “oww” she says at 3:14 when she hurts herself for real, and you can see how different the two verses are.

Whether it was true, or whether it was a prank, for me this is still a big proof. And this big proof, Camila and Lauren didn’t give it to me per se. Ally, Mani, and Dinah did. Why? Well, because all of this does nothing but show how used to hear that kind of thing they were. So used to it, that not only were they comfortable enough (except for having a camera pointed at their face during this time) but that they even teased them.

I don’t know if they didn’t really notice or if they did it on purpose to get more views and likes. I just know that AwesomenessTV no longer has it in their videos, but the Fifth Harmony page does. Same page that was/is managed by whom? By the same people who still want Camren dead but who exploit them when it suits them best. As in this case because views and likes produce money that ends up in their pockets.

Yes, dear anon, I truly believe that.

The funny thing for me is that Lauren called Paul Martinez her first love when she was much younger. But that only after their breakup. At the time, she even believed that they would’ve gotten married. She explained that they’d been best friends before they got together and that he then broke up with her and that she didn’t eat, didn’t sleep, and that she was able to move on only when she wrote her first song about how she felt about it on September 17, 2011.

The reality of the situation, however, is different. Lauren really fell in love for the first time with Camila. She realized the real difference later. Lauren and Paul were together for not even two months. They were together for literally only 50 days. That one, I mostly define it as a strong infatuation. First experience of a relationship, even if brief, with someone. First time she has experienced the real pain of a breakup and having a broken heart. And at that age, everything seems more and more intensified and even worse than it is. For Lauren who’s an empath, even more so.

So, yeah. I truly believe that both were the first true and intense love of the other. And no, dear. No one has topped that yet. Neither for one, nor for the other 😉

 If you don’t mind, dear Anon, I would prefer to answer your questions in reverse and start from the second question first because it connects to the first one. That way, it’s simply easier for me to explain to you what I mean 😄

I don’t think so?! I mean, I’ve never experienced love at first sight. I’m a rational person and who follows logic a lot, therefore, if I were to think to want to shout a serious ‘I LOVE YOU!’ on the face of a person I’ve just met and of whom I know absolutely nothing, I’d feel crazy. How could I think I’m already in love with them? It’s something I would think to be absurd because honestly, what the fuck? I’d think of being definitely delirious.

I know what it’s like to look into a person’s eyes and think ‘wow’. I know what it’s like to look into those same eyes and lose myself in them, and feel myself melt, and getting soft, and feel light, and literally feel a passage of energy through my body that turns into goosebumps.

I know that kind of instinct. An instinct that pushes you towards this person, that pushes you not to let them go. You can’t let them go and you don’t want to. You want to know this person. Right from the start. You want to know their interests, what they like, what music they listen to, and everything in between. It’s something you can’t control. You can try, but it’s impossible and it gets you out of your mind. It’s difficult, weird, and exciting at the same time. And it’s different from the normal attraction. The normal attraction is only physical. This is mental. It comes from your mind but is also guided by something else. Something that after, only after, you understand to be your heart. And what does THAT mean? That you’re starting to fall. And after having really got to know the person better, also feeling esteem for them, after that complicity was created, that passion, that intimate and mental connection, that’s where true love is born.

When you see someone for the first time, and you like that someone, you obviously feel attraction. Love, true love, happens over time. And that’s what I think happened to Camila. I think she felt an immediate attraction as soon as she saw her (2012), which turned into a huge crush (2013), and it started with the fall which in turn blossomed into love (2014). Maybe she didn’t understand this metamorphosis right away. Maybe she has understood this over time and maturing. And the moment that she understood it (ex: Terrified, Must Be Love), was also the moment in which she was able to explain it to us and deliver it to us in different songs. Another striking example that comes to mind now is “Seventeen when I started to fall” 🎵.

It was different for Lauren, but the process was similar. She herself said she found her cute initially. I think that the attraction was born when she started to know her better (2012), and that this was already an alarm bell for her because she didn’t want to. And not because she didn’t want to be attracted to Camila, but because she didn’t want to be attracted to a girl again. One with whom she should’ve spent a lot of time together, by the way. So she tried to keep this attraction at bay. But the more she tried, the more it grew. The more she denied herself the desire, the more she got to knew Camila, and the more attracted she was to her. Then she succumbed to the attraction and simultaneously started to develop a crush, and this threw her for a panic loop even more because she COULD NOT have feelings for a girl. She simply couldn’t. And that’s how the 2013’s back and forth started, the ‘Like Friends Do’ situation that led her to start falling hard and the eventual definite falling in love in 2014.

 Good question, dear Anon, a really good question. You see, EL has always puzzled me. In the sense that for quite some time, I didn’t know whether to believe if they were really a friend of theirs, or if it was just a person in the industry who had only worked with them for a certain period of time, or if they were just a fan with a huge luck in guessing certain things.

I think this because many times they’ve contradicted themselves and said very general things that anyone with a good knowledge of the girls and how the industry works could have predicted. I’ll give you some examples. I remember that at first, they said they had a relative in the industry, then they changed and said something like Lauren was one of the most important people in their life. Then they changed again and said they knew a lot about the Camren’s relationship because they were close to them, but that they wouldn’t delve into their private lives out of respect, yet, at the same time, they said about their first kiss and their first time. Um.. like, what?? How does this make any sense? Stick to one version, can’t ya? That alone, already made me doubt their credibility very much.

Another example I can give you is that they said the purpose for the Bad Things music video was to show how straight Camila was and to kill the rumors about her sexuality. But then, they said the video would have hints of her true sexuality and Camren’s too. Um… Again. What?? Not only did they contradict themselves, but they also said something rather generic and predictable. Think about it. If the video was to kill those rumors and straighten her image in the first place, why then would they have agreed to put hints on her sexuality and on something related to Camren? What would have been the point of trying to straighten her image then?? Not to mention that it’s pretty easy to say that we’d find things related to Camren when there are CS who would be able to find something even when there isn’t. Because we know that there were and still are those who find things that are actually completely absurd and non-existent just for the sake of having proofs. So, do you see my point here?

As for who they were, you can rule out most of the industry people who worked with them, and DNA and all people related to them (DNA) for one simple reason: ExposingLaucy was fluent in both English and Spanish. You can rule out Camren because they would never, ever risk being hacked and discovered. And that leaves us to the friends of the Camren’s clique and the fans. Wanna know what makes me think this person was actually a fan? The fact that EL also knew a lot about 1D and that Camila and Lauren’s true friends never got involved in Camren’s world publicly. You’ve never seen Marielle and Sandra or Brittany, Keana, Alexa, and Erica say anything about Camren publicly. They certainly wouldn’t have created an account to expose Laucy when exposing Laucy would’ve meant not helping their friends. And then, come on, they had their own lives to think about.

Now I want you to think about something else too, and I’m gonna take precisely me as an example. In my very first post, ‘There is a light at the end of the tunnel’, I created a little skit during which Shaky misgendered Sam Smith. As we all know, it actually happened in real life just over a month after my post. In my ‘PR stunt relationships’ post, I said I was convinced that Shabby had grown his hair out to look like his obsession for years: Matthew McConaughey. Five days after my post, Chauffeur admitted exactly that and of copying his style in general in the Late Late Show interview.

What does this mean? That I knew all this was going to happen? Hell, no. That I’m a white version of Raven Baxter? Maybe 😎🤣 No, but kidding aside, I just said what I thought of him both times. I only expressed my opinions, and the first time I did it through that skit because my gut had always told me that he’d be the kind of guy to be an insensitive asshole like that. And by the way, I was shocked, surprised, and even a little proud both times because I was actually right. But what’s the point? My point is that I could’ve taken advantage of this from the start. I could’ve pretended to be an insider from my first post and prove to you that I was one for real with these two things that I would’ve told you were ‘proofs’. It would’ve been pretty easy. But I didn’t. I would never have been stupid enough to start something so risky with the risk of being discovered as has happened with many other fans. And I never would have done it especially because that’s not who I am. I don’t need to pretend to be something that I’m not, thank you very much 😁 I’m more genuine than that.

Unfortunately, though, there are a lot of people who don’t think like me who have and continue to create accounts pretending to be insiders. All of those accounts are nothing more than fans who crave attention. Fans who pretend to be insiders who have information, without ever proving them though, and who say generic things and who sometimes are lucky enough to guess. That’s all. But EL, had something these other fans didn’t have. My best guess? EL was just a Harmonizer lucky enough to have someone from the industry in their (5H) circle, maybe really a relative as they initially said, who sometimes passed information to them.

 Because Camila was constantly out there working, dear Anon. You know, interviews, performances, tours, you name it 🙃

 I’ve already answered this question, dear Anon. Go check out my ‘🗯️ - ɟ’ post 😄

Yes, dear Anon, they’ve both hurt each other many times, and you can imagine how a parent might feel about seeing their child suffer. I’m not a mom, so I can’t speak from experience in that department, but I can give you another type of example to make you understand and maybe even make you better relate to what I want to tell you.

Imagine having two friends, okay? These two friends, are both your best friends. You care about them in the same equal way. These two friends of yours are together, and every time they fight, they come to you to vent. You unintentionally find yourself in the center of this situation, but not because you get in the way or because you take the side of one of them, but simply because you’re literally the person they go to for venting and to ask for advice. Every time you hear that one of the two has fucked up, you automatically ‘hate them’, in many quotes, for making the other one suffer. Maybe you also try to justify their actions because you know them and love them and you want the two of them to make up, but it’s still automatic for you to feel momentary anger towards them for making your other friend suffer.

Now that you know what I mean, double, triple, even quadruple, that momentary anger because that’s what I think a parent feels. It must not be easy to see your child suffer in general, but to see them suffer for someone you know, who is the cause, must be even harder. Especially in their case that they saw Lauren grow up with their daughter.

Camila’s number one best friend is Sinu. Camila has always told her everything. And Sinu has also always been very present, especially since the beginning of September 2016 when she’s become a permanent presence. Sinu must have seen the developments over the years with her own eyes. And I also think that Sinu and Ale have that kind of relationship where they talk about everything. I don’t know, but I think the Cabellos would have preferred to see her single rather than in that kind of pain in those times of severe toxicity between them. Because those are the periods that Camila refers to in both songs if you notice (I don’t consider First Man in this case).

Don’t get me wrong. I still to this day think Camila and Lauren are considered as daughters by both families. The problem at the time, wasn’t Lauren specifically because I think they would’ve thought it no matter who their daughter was with. And same thing in reverse for Camila for the Jaureguis. Besides, I don’t think the Cabellos consider Lauren a bad person at all, in fact, quite the opposite. The Cabellos love Lauren and the Jaureguis love Camila. It’s always been like this, despite they’ve tried to make us believe otherwise. I think that in those two songs Camila has only blown it out of proportion for the sake of the songs themselves and that’s why it looks more serious than it really is.

 I think the answer is in the question itself, dear Anon 😆 Their problems have always been caused by the lack of communication. So they fixed that. They’ve learned to speak for real. To communicate for real and without keeping anything inside. They’ve learned to listen and not bite each other’s heads off. They’ve learned to put pride aside. And they both have set boundaries. They healed each other the same way they broke each other: together. I don’t think they’re 100% there yet, also because no relationship is perfect, but I think they’ve improved a lot compared to before. Or at least, I hope so since mine are just assumptions.

 No, dear Anon. I never believed that rumor, and unless a picture of them kissing or something like that gets leaked, I don’t think I ever will. I’m sorry, but that sounds way too ridiculous for me to even think about it 🤷🏻‍♀‍

As for your last question, I believe Ari has already answered it herself in 2019. You remember Monopoly, right? Well, that “I like women and men” made me jump from my chair so high, I don’t know how I didn’t break something when I landed on my feet. I don’t even know how I landed on my feet and not tripped or directly fell to the floor honestly 🤣 “I’ve been on a roll, where you been?” dead, Ari. I died after what you said, okay? I knew about Victoria because she’d already come out, but you hadn’t done it yet so don’t ask me where I’ve been because I’ll tell you where I’m now, and I. Am. Deeeaad! Dead.

Ahh… How I wish our Mila would come out in that same so chill way, you know? Without making too much of a big deal out of it 🤩 But anyway. Ari didn’t want to put a label on herself because she never felt the need to, and I respect that 🙏🏼

BONUS

I call it ‘The truth in the lies’.

I was re-reading some old Camila’s interviews when I came across a particular one that made me literally burst out laughing, shake my head, and say what with them has now become my phrase: “The math… The math”. I’m referring to the interview with BBS News titled: Camila Cabello: ‘An absolute force of nature’, published on December 5, 2019.

I copied and pasted the part that interests us: As soon as the Grammys wrapped up, however, Cabello stepped away from the limelight to concentrate on her second album. “She said, 'I’m not going to come out of the studio until I’ve beaten my last album,’” recalls her manager, Roger Gold. In total, it took eight months, covering a period where “other artists were putting out back-to-back albums, only a few months apart,” he says. “So it was hard for us, and for her, to ignore the noise and go into the studio and take the time she needed.”

I’d like to underline the ‘As soon as the Grammys wrapped up’ part (big ass liar 🙄), and the more important one ‘In total, it took eight months’ (to complete the album). I repeat, 8 MONTHS. And that’s the truth. Okay, are you ready to do the math and for the explanation? Good 😏

The Grammys they were referring to were the Grammy Awards which took place on January 12, 2019. Romance was released on December 6, 2019. From January 12, 2019, to December 6, 2019, it’s 10 months. We already know regardless that this would’ve turned out to be bullshit because Camila started recording the album in September 2018, and not January 2019. But just to prove to you even more how much bullshit they said for this album, I wanted to include it anyway.

Would you like to see another proof with the same date? Okay. Now let’s try from January 12, 2019, to July 12, 2019, which is the PR day in San Francisco. It’s 6 months. You can also move the dates by a few days because it’s logical that Camila wouldn’t have recorded the same night as the Grammys and, according to their stupid narrative, Used to This was recorded right after San Francisco and was the last song recorded for the album. Wanna try, I don’t know, from January 15, 2019, to July 16, 2019? It’s still SIX MONTHS and NOT EIGHT 🤣 Let’s go on.

Let’s try to calculate with the actual recording start date now and not their narrative dates.

We know First Man was the first song recorded for Romance, and we know it was recorded in Nashville. Camila was on tour for Taylor Swift’s Reputation Stadium Tour at the time. Two dates that interest us on that tour are the one of September 8th in Kansas City, and the one of September 15th in Indianapolis. Why? Because for those five days in between, from the 9th to the 14th, Camila stayed in Nashville. For the first few days, she worked first with Amy Wadge on First Man, and then in the following ones, with Ed Sheeran on South of the Border, which they finished on September 14th. All you have to do to have a confirmation of this is to check out the video C posted on July 12, 2019, where she’s rehearsing her verse with Ed, and the picture she posted on September 14, 2018, and you’ll notice that she’s wearing the same shirt.

Since First Man was finished either one day or two prior, let’s take the South of the Border date as a reference for good measure. Also because as I showed you before, moving the date by just a few days to do the calculation still leads to the same result.

So let’s try, from September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to December 6, 2019 (Romance album release) it’s 1 year and almost 3 months. Soooo, nope. Next.

From September 14, 2018, to July 12, 2019 (PR in San Francisco) it’s 10 months. 🤣🤣🤣 NEXT.

Come on, Faby, when are you gonna tell us the real date that corresponds to the 8 months? Now, babies, now. And I actually can offer you two.

We know that Camila finished Romance in May, and we had even more confirmation when she posted an Insta-story on June 3rd of a Dropbox folder called CC2 with the album already mastered and more than ready. Wanna try with both a May date and this June date? Okay.

From September 14, 2018, to May 21, 2019, that is, the rehearsals for the Señorita’s music video, it’s 8 months and 7 days exactly.

From September 14, 2018, to June 3, 2019, that is, the IG-story of the Dropbox folder, it’s 8 months and 20 days exactly.

We have our winners, guys 🥳🥳🥳

Let’s recap just because:

From January 12, 2019 (Grammy Awards 2019) to December 6, 2019 (Romance album release) it’s 10 months.

From January 12, 2019 (Grammy Awards 2019) to July 12, 2019 (PR in San Francisco) it’s 6 months.

From September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to December 6, 2019 (Romance album release) it’s 1 year and almost 3 months.

From September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to July 12, 2019 (PR in San Francisco) it’s 10 months.

From September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to May 21, 2019 (Rehearsals for the Señorita’s music video) it’s 8 months and 7 days exactly.

From September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to June 3, 2019 (Dropbox folder) it’s 8 months and 20 days exactly.

Now do you understand why ‘The truth in the lies’? 😏

Aaaaand I’m done 👩🏻‍💻 I hope I made it up to you with this bonus 🤞🏼 Thank you, Mari, and thanks to all of you for your questions, I swear I’m loving them more and more, so please, continue to feel free to send me as many as you want 🤗💪🏼

Remember to be kind, to others and to yourself. Remember to be a good example. Remember to be patient. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I send you lots of love and virtual hugs 🤗🤗🤗 Oh and, of course, keep shipping our submarine 🤣 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

___

Ten answers for ten anons, that’s a lot of writing to do. Great work, F

[snowonthebeachmp3]

February 2016

Feb 11th - Kanye debuts his song Famous at his Yeezy fashion show. It contains the infamous lyric, 'I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous.' Gigi Hadid and Austin Swift are quick to express their disapproval. (x)

Feb 12th - Taylor's publicist Tree Paine releases a statement saying "Kanye did not call for approval, but to ask Taylor to release his single 'Famous' on her Twitter account. She declined and cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message. Taylor was never made aware of the actual lyric, "I made that bitch famous.’" (x)

Ruby Rose condemns Kanye, tweeting, 'Too many lines crossed. If I put myself in the shoes of the women he has hurt recently. Victims of Bill Cosby, the slut shaming, Amber… And now my dear friend Taylor.. Right before another huge moment for her.. Can I still support him and call myself a feminist? A friend? No.' (x)

Kanye claims on Twitter that Taylor thought the lyric was funny and that she came up with it herself. He also claimed Taylor told a mutual friend over dinner that, 'I can't be mad at Kanye because he made me famous!' (x)

Sometime in the days leading up to the Grammys - Taylor's 73 Questions with Vogue interview is filmed in LA (it is not published until April, soon after her Vogue cover is released). In the video, she says she is currently busy 'working out and getting ready for Grammys' (presumably referring to rehearsals since she was the opening performer that year). (Update: turns out the interview was filmed on the 2nd Feb.)

Some other answers she gave in this interview:

What are you completely bored of in life right now? Clickbait.

What's your favourite food? I mean, if we're just saying, like, what I wish I could eat every day if calories didn't count, is like, chicken tenders.

What's one thing you still have from your childhood? My insecurities.

What's something you've always wanted to try but you've been too scared to do? Coachella.

What advice would you give to anyone who wants to become a singer? Uh, get a good lawyer.

What's the one thing you wish you knew at nineteen? If I could talk to my nineteen-year-old self I'd just say, hey, you know, you're gonna date just like a normal twenty-something should be allowed to, but you're going to be a national lightning rod for slut-shaming.

What do you think is the most important life lesson for someone to learn? That karma is real.

Feb 15th - Taylor attends the 58th Annual Grammy Awards in LA. She opens the televised show with a performance of Out of the Woods (x) and debuts her Anna Wintour-esque bob (x).

After her performance, she is seen crying in the audience while Selena (her plus-one for the evening) comforts her. Apparently she is upset about missing a note while performing. (x) (video)

1989 wins Album of the Year, making her the first woman to win this award twice. In her acceptance speech, she references the situation with Kanye, saying, 'I want to say to all the young women out there, there are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success, or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame.' (x)

Taylor attends the Republic Records afterparty with friends and then-boyfriend Calvin Harris, who was not there for the awards show itself. (x)

In her 2020 documentary Miss Americana, Taylor had this to say about the 2016 Grammys: (x)

My life had never been better. I had won album of the year at the Grammys for a second time, which I never thought was a possibility. And I remembered thinking afterward, oh my god, that was all you wanted. Oh god, that was all you wanted. That was all you focused on. And you get to the mountaintop and you look around and you’re like, oh god. What now? I didn’t have a partner that I climbed it with that I could, like, high five. I didn’t have anyone I could talk to who could relate to what I was – you know? I had my mom. But I just wondered, shouldn’t I have someone that I could call right now?

Feb 16th - Calvin posts a photo of Taylor accepting her AOTY Grammy to social media with the caption, 'Congratulations to my beautiful girlfriend.' (x) I cannot believe this post is still up 💀💀

Taylor goes for lunch with Scott and Andrea at Cecconi's in LA. (x)

Feb 17th - Taylor is seen out shopping in Beverly Hills. (x)

The NME Awards take place in London at the O2 Academy. Taylor wins Best International Solo Artist but is not there in person. Instead, a pre-recorded video of her accepting the award is played at the ceremony. (x) Her outfit and haircut suggest that the video was filmed on the same day as her Vogue 73 Questions interview at her LA house.

Feb 19th - Taylor announces on Twitter that New Romantics will be the next single from 1989. (x)

She is seen getting off her plane in Reading, PA (x) and visiting her childhood home. (x)

Feb 20th - Taylor is the maid of honour at her childhood best friend Britany Maack's wedding in Pennsylvania. (x) She brings Vogue reporter Jason Gay with her, and he writes about the weekend for Taylor's Vogue cover story, published in the May edition. (x)

A few excerpts from that weekend (not published until almost two months later): (x)

Swift says she is ready to lie a little low. After the wedding, she will go to New York, where she will be spotted dining with her friend Lena Dunham, and then be seen a week later in Los Angeles with her brother, Austin, and her friend Lorde at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party. As for future plans . . . who knows? For the first time in years, Swift is not sure exactly what is next. She is very much OK with this.

So what the hell are you going to do with the rest of your life, Taylor Swift?

“I have no idea,” she says, with a sigh that’s more blissful than anxious. “This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t known. I just decided that after the past year, with all of the unbelievable things that happened . . . I decided I was going to live my life a little bit without the pressure on myself to create something.”

//

Because I’m a hopeless cheeseball, I can’t help asking: Being part of this wedding, does it make Swift think about being married some day? For the past year, she has been seeing the Scottish DJ-producer Calvin Harris. Harris is not here with her, but in early March, he and Swift will post cutesy notices on social media—his on Snapchat; hers on Instagram—commemorating the one-year status of their relationship. Soon after, both will post photographs of an idyllic, whereabouts-unknown vacation in the tropics, with ts + aw written in the sand. (Harris’s given name is Adam Wiles.)

“I’m just taking things as they come,” Swift says. “I’m in a magical relationship right now. And of course I want it to be ours, and low-key . . . this is the one thing that’s been mine about my personal life.”

//

“I think the world is so bored with the [Kanye] saga,” she goes on. “I don’t want to add anything to it, because then there’s just more.”

Feb 21st - Taylor donates $250,000 to Kesha after she loses her lawsuit against Dr Luke and Sony. (x)

Taylor goes to New York and visits the Vogue offices. (x) She also meets Lena Dunham for dinner. (x)

Feb 22nd - Demi Lovato tweets, 'Take something to Capitol Hill or actually speak out about something and then I'll be impressed.' The tweet is widely interpreted as shading Taylor following the news of her donation. (x)

Taylor is papped arriving at and leaving Milk Studios, a photography studio in NYC. (x) I think this was when they shot her Vogue cover (she wore a wig for the cover shoot and only bleached her actual hair in April when the magazine came out).

Feb 23rd - Kanye brings up the Famous controversy while onstage at 1 OAK nightclub in LA. He claims Taylor said “Ooh Kanye, I like that line!” when he told her about the line 'I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex.' “Then she won her award and said something completely different! She not cool no more. She had two seconds to be cool and she fucked it up.” (x)

Feb 24th - Taylor and Jack Antonoff go for dinner at the Maia restaurant in LA. (x)

Feb 28th - Taylor attends the Vanity Fair Oscars afterparty in LA. (x) She is photographed with Lorde and Austin.

Intro // February // March // April // May // June // July // August // September // October // November

[hiswhiteknight]

Unbelievably Outlandish– Part 2

Summary:  Before starting down a new crossroads, the Reader goes onto an adventure of literary traveling. Suddenly tossed into an unbelievable story that has swept the world, The Outlander Series itself. How will a twenty first century woman survive?

Note: I own no characters, except reader, clearly this is based off the lovely book series Outlander by Diana Gabaldon and tv show. This follows more the tv show, but it’s far from accurate. I’m going to try to get better with using less proper English, but who knows maybe I’ll get into Scottish slang.

Pairing: Jamie Fraser x Female Reader

Words: 1600

Warning: Angst, playfulness, cursing, slow start

               “The firebird is broke, Davy,” you mumbled. Your brain was vibrating, your mind was whizzing about with voices and slight colors.

               There were voices all around you, “The lass is waking up,” someone said.

               “This isn’t just a bad dream,” you opened your eyes, the images of blurred bodies started to come clearer. Bunch of men were huddled around a little room. With the vision of kilts, you concluded they were the Scottish rebels the Captain was looking for, “Can you guys lower your voices, I believe I have a concussion and your ramblings are really not helping.”

               “Who are you,” someone questions.

               “What is a concussion?”

               “Where are we,” you said trying to completely understand your surroundings.

               “We ask the questions here,” another voice said, “What’s your name and where you from?”

               You were too exhausted to fight back and too confused to make clear arguments, your head was just fog, “Y/N O’Mulligain and the colonies,” it was all you could say.

               A nervous chuckle came over the group, “An Irish woman from colonies?” They were having trouble with the notion of an Irish person living in the colonies at this time. You were not sure of the facts, but having clear thoughts was a struggle at this point, “Why are you here?”

               You rubbed your head, trying not to chuckle at the realization of your current reality. You rolled your eyes, laughing while thinking of the woman you last saw before this moment, “Adventure.”

               “No,” someone yelled. You winced with the sound, “Ya should have seen the girl. She battled Captain Randall, she knocked him out. I’m not sure what she is, or who, but I bet my best shirt she isn’t a spy.”

               “It doesn’t matter,” another voice said, “Randall is going to be looking for us. We need to go, we need to get Jamie out of here before-.”

               Another voice spoke up, “Why don’t we leave the witch, Randall might want her more since she beat him? Slow him down.”

               “No,” another voice yelled, wincing. By the sound he was making, he was in some pain, “We are not about leaving another person to the British.”

               “Jamie, how bad is it? Can you ride,” your vision was coming to. I didn’t know the story of Outlander, but you got the guise this guy was the Jamie that supposedly was more dreamy than Mr. Darcy, which you knew was to be completely impossible.

               You still haven’t gotten your vision focused and the room was lit only by fire near the chimney, “Hurts sitting still, couldn’t manage a horse.”

               From what you could gauge, his shoulder was dislocated, “We got to put it back.”

               All the man group around this man, they were just going to pull his shoulder up with force. You started to laugh, “You are all so dumb,” you laughed again, with them all turning to you, “You’re going to be breaking the man’s arm like that.”

               You tried to stand, still using the chair for balancing, “What do you know of it? You a healer?”

               Shaking your head, “No, my brother used to get injured every other day. I had to learn how to take care of his countless injuries.”

You started to walk up to the man known as Jamie. When you saw him with fresh eyes you could feel your cheeks blush. He truly was a man fit to his description, what a Greek god. Everyone just looked at you in confusion and distrust, looking like they had no idea what you were saying, “May I,” I push into the group, asking the red head if it was alright to help him with this injury.

               He nodded, “This is going to hurt,” you hit one of the guys shoulders, pointing at this Jamie character, “You’ll need to hold him down.” The men steadied him, “Jamie is it,” you ask gently. He nodded quickly, “This is going to hurt, I mean really hurt.” He nodded understanding what had to be done, “I’ll go on the count of three.” He took a deep breathe, you moved his arm into the right place, “One,” before you could get to two you snapped it back in place.

               Jamie grunted, but instantly looked relieved, “Thought you said on three,” he looked up at you.

               “Just an old trick, I didn’t want you to be thinking of the pain,” you shrugged, rubbing your arms together as you crossed them, “I’m sorry,” looking down at you feet become instantly shy all over again. You not really good with strangers unless your professional life needed it. You whispered, “You just got to keep off the shoulder, massage, and heat will help. Does anyone have a belt or cloth?”

               The man in charged looked to another man and demanded a belt. You slipped it around his body trying not to get into your own brain about this situation. Not only were you out of your comfort zone, but you were out of anything you’ve ever known. Jamie nodded, watching you closely, “Let’s get the horses, we’ve got to go.”

               “I’ll let you guys go, I’ll just be on my way back,” you started, but your arm was grabbed and spun around.

               “You’re coming with us mistress, until we get some more answers.”

               “You aren’t the boss of me, mister,” you said back to him.

               “More like prisoner,” he answered, smiling, “Jamie, you’ll ride with the spy.”

               “I’m not a spy,” you yell back, “I’m just a woman, taking an innocent stroll through the very lovely forest of Scotland.”

               “A regular lady, in pants. Sure,” one guy laughed at you.

               The man in charged approached you, gripping your arm harshly. It took you ever once of your control not to swing around and smash him right in the jaw, “You stay close by us, try anything and I’ll slit your throat.” You stopped breathing for the second, “Come on, give me your foot,” the grumpy guy barked at me.

You gripped Jamie’s hand and mounted the horse, “Haven’t you ridden a horse,” he whispered after feeling your fidgeting.  You shook your head ‘no’ quickly. Being on this horse with this man felt so intimate and it didn’t help it was raining. You didn’t have much clothing for this weather, and you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into. Jamie started to make motions from behind you, “Excuse me, what do you think you’re doing,” you harshly whisper back to him.

“You’re shivering,” he stated, “Seeing if my plaid loose can help cover you lass.”

“I’m not cold, I’m from Pennsylvania we have harsher winters than this,” you said more to yourself than him, “This is just spritzing,” you motion to the rain.

“I’m not sure what any of that means, but,” he chuckled, his breath tickling your neck, “You are shaking so hard you’re making my teeth chatter,” he chuckled again, especially when you helped him wrap it around your waist.

Turning around, slightly bumping his shoulder you ask, “We are going to ride till sunrise?”

“Probably the next as well,” he grinned again.

You rolled your eyes, you had to start formulating a plan to get back to those damn rocks, and hoping they worked once again.

                 You woke to the sun beaming down, you were not sure when you fell asleep. The sun was up and shining, it was beautiful and felt so good to be out of the rain, “Sleep well,” Jamie asked something from behind.

               Forgetting he was almost there, you pulled forward. Honestly, his warm felt so nice, which is probably why you fell asleep so easily, “How long have I been sleeping?”

               Someone rode past, saying something in Gaelic and chuckling with the group. You proceeded to flip him off, which you instantly forgot they had no idea the gesture, “Just a few hours. You haven’t missed anything.”

               You nodded, looking around you. Scotland was for sure dense and you could walk for days and only see one person, but it felt weird to let your guard down. Redcoats were all about this area at this time and place, “Shouldn’t you be worrying about the British raids? I would imagine they’d be rustling about this area,” you said to him. He chuckled but didn’t answer. Your eyes were drawn to this rocky mountain in the distance, “That out there, it looks like a-?”

               “Back of a cock’s tail. Aye, Cocknammon Rock.”

               Turning to look back at him. You were trying to remember what your friend had said about the books and the show, “I am serious. Don’t you find it strange we haven’t heard anything from the redcoats?”

               He watched you carefully, not knowing where you were going with this conversation, “What do you mean?”

               Turning back to look at him better, “The locals know the area better than anyone, but still the redcoats catch outlaws and rob villagers,” he still looked confused. “That up there, that high point is most likely where some redcoats watch, for the vantage point of seeing travelers down here.”

               He looked down in thought for a second, before nodding, “That’s a bonnie place for an ambush right enough,” he quickened up to the front, “Dougal.”

               They started to speak in what you imagined to be Gaelic and you could imagine they were talking about how suspicious your account was and whether it could be good information or not. The man named Dougal leaned into whisper to you, “You’ll be telling me how you come to know there’s an ambush up ahead.”

               “I just do,” you answered quickly, “I have military experience and I’m telling you – the odds are high that there is an ambush ahead.”

               Staring deeply at you, “You’ll be explaining more when we get back?”

               “Get back? What do you-,” Dougal yelled something in Gaelic and you were met with the loss of my breath.

               Jamie looked down at you, “Hide and don’t be going far.”

PART 3 

[tsuzuruchipalace]

the other day i came up with, what i think is, a funny and great idea for an a3! american community college au fic, but i don’t think i have the mental strength to see it through. the last long fic i cared about was started in 2015 and i haven’t touched it since january 2018.

idk i may just write little ideas and scenes and keep them in a compilation, but i’d really like to flesh out the au more. but honestly, this is basically me vicariously living the toxic lifestyle i’ll never have through this au.

The working title is “vlog2/26” and I plan to make it a tsuzuru-centric tsuzuita fic

for reference, this story takes place during the school year of 2018-2019 in a fake little town I called Byles Ridge, Pennsylvania. I based it heavily off the city I live in. It’s a shitty northeastern suburb near Philly with a community college five minutes away from my house. In this au, most of Mankai  are Asian-Americans attending or working at Byles Ridge Community College. In my characterization, they all act like typical American gen z kids or millennials, if not slightly exaggerated. My main inspiration was the fic, now book, 006. I also drew inspiration from Community and my real life

here are some of my favorite lines from my outlining:

(fair warning: there is definitely not pg humor in this. if this is going on ao3, it’ll most likely be rated m)

Excerpt from the synopsis: Tsuzuru is like any other emotionally repressed American teenage boy in the 21st century; his hobbies include being single, jerking off, and pretending not to cry when he watches Toy Story 3.

Tsuzuru: “God is Dorothy from Finding Nemo and I’m that little goldfish she shook to death.”

Tsuzuru: “I’m atheist, but everyday I thank god that I wasn’t born British, ‘cause I don’t know how I would’ve handled having to pretend that Mr. Brightside is a good song.”

Tsuzuru: Being friends with Masumi sucks because it means that he’ll refuse to give anyone the aux. I’ll admit, Masumi can have good music taste. He introduced me to a lot of new artists on his “going to Taco Bell” playlist, but when he’s in a pissy mood, he’ll exclusively play XXXTentacion and now I know all the lyrics to Sad! and that’s not the person I want to be.

Masumi: “Sakuya, what the fuck is The Prince of Denmark. I talked up Miss Tachibana about Romeo and Juliet and said I was a big Shakespeare fan, then she started reciting old English.”

Sakuya: “Tsuzuru, are you okay? You look like you’re having another Michael in the Bathroom moment.”

Excerpt from Chikage’s profile: Does Zumba and weed on the weekends.

the entirety of tenma’s profile i’m so proud of this one

Tenma: is a popular football player who is still living off the high of being the Gerber Baby of Lucky Charms in 2003. He’s a first-year theatre major like Sakuya. Thinks he’s Troy from High School Musical. He uses Axe body spray and TikTok thirst traps to hide his increasingly apparent homosexuality and his middle school obsession with One Direction... There are two wolves inside you. One wolf is homophobic. One wolf finds Zayn Malik hot. You are Tenma Sumeragi.

Tenma: “It’s not gay to watch High School Musical bro. HSM is a cultural phenomenon and belongs in the Library of Congress. If you don’t like it, you’re a traitor to America.”

Yuki: “I have more balls than either of you and I’m wearing a Hello Kitty bath towel right now.”

Misumi: “Of course I do weed. I’m autistic, not a loser.”

Excerpt from Kazu’s profile: Has 100k followers on Tiktok for shaking his ass and being a local nuisance. Cried when Vine shut down.

Kazu: “How many times do I need to dance to Doja Cat before I get my clout?”

Excerpt from Taichi’s profile: Considered opening a cat femboy OnlyFans back when he didn’t have enough money to pay for his growing Bakugan collection. Kissed a boy once for a dare and didn’t like it, but still vibes to Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl cuz that shit slaps.

Banri: *after listening to Troye Sivan for the first time* “I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me.”

Taichi: “Everyone rise for the national anthem: Sk8ter Boi by Avril Lavigne.”

Azami: “I’m gonna go listen to Pierce the Veil and cry until Gerard Way comes back.”

Tsumugi: “At this rate, I’m going to have to find a man on Christian Mingle.”

Excerpt from Tasuku’s profile: Has repressed the idea that he’s in love with Tsumugi ever since they kissed in Christian summer camp when they were 12. Doesn’t remember that, due to the repression. But Tsumugi does.

Excerpt from Homare’s profile: He either dresses like it’s 1940 or like he’s the hero from the children’s show Lazytown. Will start crying if someone brings up the Library of Alexandria

Azuma: “Do I sleep with strangers? Yes. Do I take money from strangers? Yes. Am I a prostitute? No, because those are two separate occasions.”

Guy: “Can you inform me what a Juul is?”

“That’s a fucking Baja Blast in his hand.” “What the shit.” “Itaru Chigasaki orders fucking Baja Blast from Taco Bell. Unbelievable.” “Who doesn’t. Baja Blast fucks.” “I’m snapping this.” “You’ll put that camera down right now before I snap your neck.” “The public deserves to know.” “A man has a right to privacy, especially when it comes to his eating habits.”

And if you’re interested in this au, here’s my playlist for it, subject to change (feel free to suggest songs). Some songs are what I imagine the main characters would listen to and some just fit the vibe of the au:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIjsgyx8Ea22wwH4eO-QlywAiIVWZNcCx

[ledenews]

A State Judge, A Texas Attorney, and a Colt 45 – One Year Later

She still doesn’t know what was more shocking. Was it that a state judge had a Colt 45 on his bench during a trial in Wetzel County? Or was it that no one in Wetzel County seemed to care? Was it because those folks knew Lauren Varnado was a native of Georgia who lives and works in Texas? Maybe they thought she should be fine with guns, right? Even in a courtroom, of course, because it is West Virginia, right? “I didn’t know what anyone was thinking,” she said a year after representing EQT Corp. in a royalties case. “I had not experienced anything like that, and yes, I do live in Texas.” According to a July 15, 2022 article written by journalist Chris Dickerson of the West Virginia Record: Second Judicial Circuit Judge David Hummel was overseeing a trial in a case styled Huey et al. v. EQT regarding royalty payments to landowners. Houston-based attorney Lauren Varnado was leading the legal team representing EQT. The incident in question occurred March 12 during a rare Saturday hearing involving only trial counsel. Varnado was representing EQT Corp. in a jury trial in Wetzel County in March 2022. (Image: Google Earth) And then, four months later, Derek Redd, managing editor of Wheeling’s morning and evening newspapers, reported on Dec. 3, 2022: Former Second Judicial Circuit Judge David Hummel, who resigned last week, also agreed to never again seek judicial office and accepted a public admonishment from the West Virginia Judicial Investigation Commission following several complaints against him. The complaints against Hummel paint a picture of a judge who belittled children who came before him, who improperly used funds meant for the court and also one who violated his own rules concerning handguns in the courtroom. Varnado’s truth, and the fact video proved the Texas attorney's claims against the judge, gained national attention. “It was crazy, but it was OK at first because people found out I was telling the truth the whole time and  I really didn’t mind the attention that came from the article in People because that publication reaches a lot of different people, and I believe everyone should be aware of what does and can take place in our courtrooms,” said Varnado, managing partner of Michelman & Robinson LLP in Houston. “I would hope what happened to me in Wetzel County was an isolated incident, but I’m already hearing that there have been more locally, and more across the country involving other people on the bench. And that’s crazy to me. “So, if someone read the People Magazine article and decided to do the same things I did to correct the situation, good for them. That’s exactly why I agreed to do that interview,” she continued. “But I’ve been asked by other publications that I’ve turned down because I’ve never been involved with this whole thing because of the attention. Trust me, I could have done without any of this.” The Daily Beast, an online news website, was the first to report the incident that took place just over a year ago. March to March Varnado has been interviewed by print and radio media outlets in the Upper Ohio Valley, and last week was a guest on River Talk-Ohio Valley. The Texas attorney was back in the region handling matters in western Pennsylvania. She’ll return to the Mountain State, too, whenever necessary. “I’ve really come to love West Virginia because it’s beautiful here, and I love the people, too,” Varnado said. “The people are the best part every time I travel back on business. “I’m sure I’ll continue getting a lot of the phone calls because those have not stopped coming in since all of this went national, but otherwise, I’m done with it,” she said. “Professionally, I moved on immediately, and now that’s taking place on every other level. I’m good.” The Daily Beast, a popular digital media website, was the first to publish Varnado’s story, and since the news has spread across the world. “I don’t mind when people ask me if I’m ‘that attorney’, and I do answer their questions when they ask. But that’s the kind of person I am, too,” Varnado said. “One of the first things I do, though, is crack a joke by saying, ‘Oh, you saw those reports?’ That usually gets a chuckle out of them, but then we always move to their questions and what they want to know. Varnado was raised in Macon, Georgia, but went to law school in Texas and now practices in Houston. “I tell everyone who asks that this kind of corruption is everywhere and not just in West Virginia. It’s actually rampant in state courts across the country,” she insisted. “If there is something good that can come from my whole experience, it’s that people will not be afraid to report the issues they experience instead of being afraid of a judge or afraid of the system. It’s very tough in rural areas because everyone knows everyone in those communities, and if you don’t know the right people it’s very difficult to get justices in a lot of cases.” Along with her complaint, Varnado said the state Judicial Investigation Commission also heard from several residents who expressed concerns about cases involving children.   “When people speak their truth it can inspire others to do the same thing,” Varnado said. “That’s what we saw happen in my case because most people don’t want to be the first person to speak up. That’s really, really common in situations like these and usually, nothing opens up until after the first person speaks up. You see it takes place that way all of the time. “Plus, when my situation broke loose, I had some lawyers in this area contact me and thank me because of what they say they have experienced in the past,” she said. “Because of them, the resignation and the admonishment were what needed to take place, in my opinion.” Read the full article

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

@serfin-u-s-a replied to your post “who do you want dead and gone?

enchanted that she doesn't know the difference between "on android" and "on an android"

All right, let's do this. I'm entitled to be weird in this area and I think maybe this is a place where I should introduce myself.

My name is Marisa, I am 16 years old, and I live in Pennsylvania with my mom. I am mostly in the Harry Potter fandom (to the extent that that is a thing I do) and also the world of the Wheelocks. I am on the android right now because I have limited access to my dad's phone, and if I can just find a way to get some of it back I can get myself some of the time I spent with him.

(Actually, I think I have gotten at least half of it back. He is a slytherin and has long since left this world, so the phones will be used by a Slytherin to talk with his helpful Slytherin friends, who are also Slytherins.

…probably not gonna happen.)

Okay, this is going to be very American, so it's probably better if you don't read any further unless you absolutely have to.

QUIZ 1

Answer the questions, then press the "Quiz Next" button.

1. Have you ever fallen in love with someone and later regretted it?

2. If your life were a book, what would be the plot?

3. Where would you most like to go on a first date?

4. What would be your ideal first impression of me?

5. Would you like to be married one day?

6. If you are talking to someone and you realize you love them, will you still like them afterwards?

7. You are the captain of the soccer team and the third goal is one minute away. Your number is 13. Who do you pass the ball to?

8. Two girls were dancing and the man who was with them noticed you were a wizard and asked you to join in. Are you now allowed to dance?

9. What are you looking forward to in the next week?

10. Is there any other wizarding world countries besides the UK and USA?

11. Who was the last person you spoke to?

12. Do you ever read the bedtime stories for your children?

13. Who is your favourite famous wizard?

14. What is your favourite colour?

15. What is your astrological sign?

16. Do you want to be a headmaster?

17. Would you like to be the editor of a wizarding publication?

18. What would your name in Harry Potter universe be?

19. Would you be interested in becoming a parent?

20. Do you want to become a head girl or head boy?

21. If you were a wizard, what kind of wand would you use?

22. Have you ever won a million pounds?

23. Do you like burgers, or only fries?

24. Which Hogwarts teacher are you most like?

25. What would your Quidditch team be made of?

26. Which House are you?

27. If you were a lich, what would your name be?

28. Do you want to be a very powerful wizard, or a very lowly wizard?

29. If you could live and be immortal, what would you do?

30. What would you name your son or daughter?

31. What does your god home look like?

32. What does your demon home look like?

33. What does your elf home look like?

34. What would you name your future child?

35. Are you a follower of Voldemort or Dumbledore?

36. If you had to spend a night in the darkest cell of Azkaban, what would you do?

37. What is your Patronus?

38. Has anyone seen you in the last seven days?

39. Does your arm ache? If so, why?

40. Are you a good singer? A bad singer? A magic singer? A singing wizard or a singing witch?

41. Is there anything else you want to add to the quiz?

[jwood719]

Thurmond, West Virginia: a Rail Road Town that the World Passed By, Then Found Again (sorta’) - Updated.

As I explained recently over a dinner with friends in town (for the first time in how long?!), Thurmond, West Virginia was south and west of Pittsburgh, so it seemed like a good option for a kind-of side trip on the way home from Pennsylvania.  Little did I know how long the trip south would be, but glad I was to have done it.

A CSX coal car drag passing the Thurmond Depot, as seen through the window of the yardmaster’s office. [1]

The town was founded by one Capt. W.D. Thurmond in 1873, the same year the Chesapeake & Ohio Railway completed main line track building through the New River Valley.  The New River Valley was scene to intensive coal mining in the latter half of the 1800s and first half of the 1900s, and Thurmond was literally and figuratively at the heart of it all.

I believe the tall structure visible through the coal smoke and vented steam is the coaling tower. [2]

Thurmond in 1988.  Conspicuously absent now are all the structures on the left side of the tracks -- as well as the tracks to the left. [3]

The New River Valley was also the scene of some of the worst of the “coal field wars:” the operators paid by weight, ran company towns and stores, and lured unsuspecting laborers into the valley with promises of good wages -- promises that never materialized.  Instead, coal weight was shorted, company rents and store fees were exorbitant, and rules were enforced with extra-judicial posses, bought-off law enforcement officers, and state militia at times.  Miners were repeatedly denied recognition of their unionizing efforts, scabs were thrown in between the simmering, or boiling, antagonists, and strikes devolved into shooting matches.

Thurmond in 1988. [3]  Two generations of water towers (near center) holding hundreds of thousands of gallons of water for the thirsty steam-powered engines, and the post office building (at right)  CSX removed the water towers in the 1990s.

Concrete footings for the water towers seen in the 1988 photo above.  The post office building still stands (at far right), and is still U.S.P.S. property, though it is no longer in operation. [1]

Thurmond was the vital hub for the C&O and for all the various people who moved through the Valley throughout the coal mining years; in 1910, Thurmond  moved more freight and passengers than any other town the rail road serviced.  It’s hard to imagine today, but from its founding until the early 1920s, Thurmond could only be reached by rail, and thousands of people moved through or lived in the town, going to work in a mine, working for the C&O, or providing goods and services.

The Marilyn Brown house, with the roofline of the Fatty Lipscomb house beyond. [1]

At one time, Thurmond boasted many commercial structures, scores of houses (like those above), and was also a service hub for the C&O’s engines and rolling stock.  Steam-powered rail road engines require daily maintenance, work that was effected in a large engine house that was perched above the river.

Thurmond in 1988. [3] The engine house is right of center in the mid-ground, behind the trees.  Some of the remaining private houses can be seen uphill behind the commercial buildings, as well as the one “street” that wound across the face of the hill.

Like so many towns built around 19th century industries, Thurmond’s importance declined dramatically as the 20th century proceeded.  The use of diesel rail road engines left steam engine mechanics unemployed; many of the mines played out, and those that remained (and remain still) employed far fewer miners to pull the coal from the seams -- or blast it from hill tops; and people who would have been passengers on the trains began driving automobiles.  The world, if you will, moved on, and Thurmond dried up.

Two views of the Fatty Lipscomb house. [1]

As coal mining declined, though, tourism increased, and in the 1960s and 1970s, enthusiasts of outdoor sports found the U.S. Congress receptive to the idea of setting aside some of West Virginia’s landscapes for boating, hiking and camping.  In 1978, a substantial swath of West Virginia was designated as the New River Gorge National River, and later, lands along the Gauley and Bluestone Rivers were conserved, designated as National Recreation Areas in 1988.

Another house, here perched on the hillside above the commercial district, and a stretch of the local roadway, looking downhill. [1]

Once the land along the rivers became national reserves, Thurmond basically passed into federal control, though up until the early 1990s, up to 50 people still resided there.  The Chesapeake & Ohio had also declined, and became a foundational holding of today’s CSX Transportation rail road company.  CSX still moves coal through Thurmond in long drags of hopper cars, either full and destined for power plants, or empty and heading back to the mines.

In 1988 (above) [3] and in 2021 (below). [1]  The view below is perhaps the best known angle of the old commercial buildings.  From right, these are: the Mankin-Cox Building, the oldest of the three, which housed a druggist and a bank; the Goodman-Kincaid Building, which housed a dry goods store as well as offices and apartments; and the National Bank of Thurmond Building; all held a variety of business concerns before business fled.  To the upper right is the Erskine Pugh house.  The track in the foreground has been removed.

Circa 1900 [2]  The engine house is right of center, with the commercial buildings to the left.  The large building at far left was a hotel, but it burned down and was replaced by an Armour meat company building -- which also burned, in 1963 . The depot (seen following photo) is at the far right, with the rail road trestle just in view.

The 1904 passenger depot, now the NPS visitors center (as of 1995), and yes, Amtrak does have Thurmond as a stop! [1]

The NPS owns most of the remaining buildings, and efforts began in the early 2000s to keep them from deteriorating further, with roof repairs and seals to keep out the weather. There are still 5 residents in Thurmond, all are on the town council, and in addition to being active within the park, they are also seeking ways to keep the town alive.  

The red house at left is new construction, but on an old foundation, and where possible, older building materials have been recycled in its build-out.  A project of Thurmond’s residents, the hope is to have it available for seasonal leases; my guess is it’ll wind up with a long wait-list -- and my name will be on it! [1]

Old rail road ties in the dirt: now an access road, the C&O service track that led to the coaling tower were once mounted here; the engine house would have been to the extreme right and partially out of view; the depot is dead ahead, and my road-weary car is parked near the trees. [1]

Maybe I was taken-in by the town because of the setting, nestled as it is among the hills and above the river; maybe it’s because the old buildings have that “certain something” that makes history buffs like me snap more photos than is reasonable; maybe it’s the potential that I can see in them (provided anyone ever coughed up the money to really rehabilitate them); if I was to get metaphysical about it, maybe it’s because of all the lives and history that occurred in the area and the energy left behind calls out still (y’know if I got metaphysical about it -- past lives anyone?); perhaps it’s all of those.  What-ever the reason, I’ve been thinking of making a trip back in mid-Autumn, take a long weekend as the leaves are turning and it’s got chilly -- and shoot yet more photos than is reasonable.

The 1922 coaling tower (above), built by Fairbanks Morse (as noted on the sign below). [1]

The reason for the coaling tower: a pair of the last steam engines in Thurmond: 1953. [2]

I briefly stopped at the New River Gorge visitors center where I got directions, and figured I could at least find out where I was going before getting off the highway for the night.  I arrived in Thurmond just before 5 PM, but even that later afternoon hour left plenty of daylight to walk about and take photos.  My thought had been to simply find Thurmond, then make my stop-over somewhere nearby (Beckley, WV is less than 10 miles away) then return in the morning.  That thinking quickly became “Oh! I can come back for more in the morning!” 

Up the hill: the old church. [1]  The church grounds now host the local triathlon and reunion events for those who once lived in Thurmond.

What I realized as I strolled around in the afternoon, was that the light would be dramatically different if I arrived early the next day (yeah: a “well duh!” moment if ever there was one), an effect of the changed daylight hours mixed with the topography that proved itself quite wonderfully -- and is why the images here show both the golden glow of evening and the cool white of morning.

Amtrak’s Cardinal route-train, on-time (or nearly) on a Friday morning. [1]

Standing by my car, having a sip of coffee, looking around as other visitors arrived or departed, I just, well -- “sighed with contentment” is an apt description. 

A view of the ticket agent’s office. [1]

For more information on Thurmond:

The National Park Service’s web page for Thurmond, WV.

Thurmond, WV on Clio, a history and culture website.

Both of these share some of the same information, and each has additional images, both historical and contemporary.  

A view of the New River Valley from the west side, across from Thurmond (note the houses and rail road cars on the far bank below the hill). [4]

The historical narrative written here was gleaned from the NPS hand-out for Thurmond, as well as from the Summer 2021 issue of National Parks magazine, published by the National Parks Conservation Association (“Miner’s Angel” concerning Mother Jones and the coal field wars of West Virginia, by Nicolas Brulliard).  Identification of the Marilyn Brown house made possible by access to a PDF of the NPS’ structural assessment report of buildings in Thurmond, revised edition, published in 2002.

A view of the yardmaster’s office [1]

Atlas Obscura’s “22 of America’s Best Preserved Ghost Towns”  Sorry, Mental Floss, you were forgot.

Looking south toward the depot past the three old commercial blocks. [1]

[1] Photographs by R. Jake Wood, 2021.

[2] Historic photographs displayed on-site by National Park Service, photographed on-site and edited for this posting by Jake Wood. 

[3] Photographs by Jet Lowe, 1988, for the Library of Congress’ Historic American Building Survey/Historic American Engineering Record; retrieved from the Library of Congress’ Prints & Photographs Online Catalog, with minor editing by Jake Wood.

[4] Photograph by the Detroit Publishing Co., circa 1910; from the Library of Congress’ Prints & Photographs Online Catalog, with minor editing by Jake Wood.

The depot, alongside CSX trackage. [1]

CSX coal drag outbound with hoppers full of coal.  The post office building is visible just beyond the engine. [1]

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Best lyrics on 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑘𝑙𝑜𝑟𝑒.

the 1 - 

“And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow.” 

“We never painted by the numbers, baby, but we were making it count. You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.” 

cardigan - 

“And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.” 

“I knew you tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy. I knew you. Leavin' like a father, running like water.”

“I knew I'd curse you for the longest time. Chasin' shadows in the grocery line. I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired, and you'd be standin' in my front porch light.”

the last great american dynasty - 

“The wedding was charming, if a little gauche. There's only so far new money goes. They picked out a home and called it "Holiday House". Their parties were tasteful, if a little loud. The doctor had told him to settle down. It must have been her fault his heart gave out.” 

“Filled the pool with champagne and swam with the big names, and blew through the money on the boys and the ballet. And losing on card game bets with Dalí.”

“They say she was seen on occasion, pacing the rocks, staring out at the midnight sea. And in a feud with her neighbor, she stole his dog and dyed it key lime green. Fifty years is a long time. Holiday House sat quietly on that beach. Free of women with madness, their men and bad habits. And then it was bought by me.”

“I had a marvelous time ruining everything.”

exile ft. Bon Iver - 

“I think I've seen this film before, and I didn't like the ending. You're not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now? You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out.”

“I can see you starin', honey. Like he's just your understudy. Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me. Second, third, and hundredth chances. Balancin' on breaking branches. Those eyes add insult to injury.”

“I’m not your problem anymore, so who am I offending now?”

“You didn't even hear me out. (You didn't even hear me out.) You never gave a warning sign. (I gave so many signs.)”

my tears ricochet - 

“We gather here, we line up, weepin' in a sunlit room. And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too.”

“I didn't have it in myself to go with grace. And you're the hero flying around saving face. And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed. Look at how my tears ricochet.”

“We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean. Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring. You know I didn't want to have to haunt you, but what a ghostly scene. You wear the same jewels that I gave you, as you bury me.”

“And you can aim for my heart, go for blood. But you would still miss me in your bones. And I still talk to you... (When I'm screaming at the sky!) And when you can't sleep at night... (You hear my stolen lullabies!)“

“You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same. Cursing my name, wishing I stayed. You turned into your worst fears. And you're tossin’ out blame, drunk on this pain. Crossin’ out the good years.”

mirrorball - 

“I'm a mirrorball. I can change everything about me to fit in. You are not like the regulars, the masquerade revelers. Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.”

“And they called off the circus, burned the disco down. When they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns, I'm still on that tightrope. I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me. And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why. I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try. I'm still on that trapeze. I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me.”

seven -

“Please picture me in the trees. I hit my peak at seven feet in the swing over the creek. I was too scared to jump in. But I was high in the sky with Pennsylvania under me. Are there still beautiful things?”

“Sweet tea in the summer. Cross your heart, won't tell no other. And though I can’t recall your face, I still got love for you. Your braids like a pattern, love you to the Moon and to Saturn. Passed down like folk songs. The love lasts so long.”

“And I've been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted. Your dad is always mad and that must be why. And I think you should come live with me, and we can be pirates. Then you won't have to cry or hide in the closet.”

august - 

“But I can see us lost in the memory, August slipped away into a moment in time. 'Cause it was never mine. And I can see us twisted in bed-sheets, August sipped away like a bottle of wine. 'Cause you were never mine.”

“Back when we were still changin' for the better. Wanting was enough. For me it was enough. To live for the hope of it all. Canceled plans just in case you'd call, and say, ‘Meet me behind the mall.’ So much for summer love and saying ‘us’, ‘cause you weren't mine to lose.”

“Remember when I pulled up and said, ‘Get in the car’? And then canceled my plans just in case you'd call? Back when I was livin' for the hope of it all.”

this is me trying - 

“I've been having a hard time adjusting. I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting. I didn't know if you'd care if I came back. I have a lot of regrets about that. Pulled the car off the road to the lookout. Could've followed my fears all the way down.”

“They told me all of my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential. And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad. I have a lot of regrets about that. I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere. Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here. Pouring out my heart to a stranger, but I didn't pour the whiskey.”

“At least I’m trying.”

illicit affairs - 

“And that's the thing about illicit affairs, and clandestine meetings, and longing stares. It's born from just one single glance, but it dies and it dies and it dies! A million little times.”

“Take the words for what they are. A dwindling, mercurial high. A drug that only worked the first few hundred times.”

“And that's the thing about illicit affairs, and clandestine meetings, and stolen stares. They show their truth one single time, but they lie and they lie and they lie! A million little times.”

“And you wanna scream, ‘Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby". Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me. You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else. Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby". Look at this idiotic fool that you made me. You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else.’”

“‘And you know damn well, for you I would ruin myself a million little times.’”

invisible string - 

“Time, curious time, gave me no compasses, gave me no signs. Were there clues I didn't see? And isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?”

“Bad was the Blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to LA. You ate at my favorite spot for dinner. Bold was the waitress on our three-year trip, getting lunch down by the lakes. She said I looked like an American singer.”

“A string that pulled me out of all the wrong arms, right into that dive bar. Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire. Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons. One single thread of gold tied me to you.”

“Cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart. Now I send their babies presents. Gold was the color of the leaves when I showed you around Centennial Park. Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven.”

mad woman - 

“What did you think I'd say to that? Does a scorpion sting when fighting back? They strike to kill, and you know I will. What do you sing on your drive home? Do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn? Does she smile? Or does she mouth, ‘Fuck you forever’?”

“And there's nothing like a mad woman. What a shame she went mad. No one likes a mad woman. You made her like that. And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out, and you find something to wrap your noose around. And there's nothing like a mad woman.”

“Now I breathe flames each time I talk. My cannons all firin' at your yacht. They say ‘move on,’ but you know I won't. And women like hunting witches too. Doing your dirtiest work for you. It's obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together.”

“Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy. What about that? And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry.”

“I'm taking my time, ‘cause you took everything from me. Watching you climb over people like me. The master of spin has a couple side flings. Good wives always know. She should be mad, should be scathing like me, but no one likes a mad woman.”

epiphany - 

“Keep your helmet, keep your life, son. Just a flesh wound, here's your rifle. Crawling up the beaches now. ‘Sir, I think he's bleeding out!’ And some things you just can't speak about.”

“Something med school did not cover. Someone's daughter, someone's mother, holds your hand through plastic now. ‘Doc, I think she's crashing out!’ And some things you just can't speak about.”

“Only twenty minutes to sleep, but you dream of some epiphany. Just one single glimpse of relief, to make some sense of what you've seen.”

“With you I serve, with you I fall down. Watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out.”

betty - 

“You heard the rumors from Inez. You can't believe a word she says most times, but this time it was true. The worst thing that I ever did, was what I did to you.”

“But if I just showed up at your party, would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself, or lead me to the garden? In the garden, would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing? I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything, but I know I miss you!”

“I was walking home on broken cobblestones, just thinking of you when she pulled up like a figment of my worst intentions. She said, ‘James, get in, let's drive.’ Those days turned into nights. Slept next to her, but I dreamt o’ you all summer long!”

“Yeah, I showed up at your party, will you have me? Will you love me? Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends? If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings? I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything, but I know I miss you! Standin’ in your cardigan! Kissin' in my car again! Stopped at a streetlight, you know I miss you!”

peace - 

“But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm if your cascade, ocean wave blues come. All these people think love's for show, but I would die for you in secret. The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me. Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?”

“Your integrity makes me seem small. You paint dreamscapes on the wall. I talk shit with my friends, it's like I'm wasting your honor. And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences. Sit with you in the trenches. Give you my wild, give you a child. Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other. Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother. Is it enough? But there's robbers to the east, clowns to the West, I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best. But the rain is always gonna come if you're standin' with me.”

hoax - 

“You know I left a part of me back in New York. You knew the hero died so what's the movie for? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars, from when they pulled me apart. You knew the password so I let you in the door. You knew you won so what's the point of keeping score? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars, from when they pulled me apart. But what you did was just as dark. Darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.”

“My only one. My kingdom come undone. My broken drum, you have beaten my heart. Don't want no other shade of blue but you. No other sadness in the world would do.”

[theangriestpea]

Road Bumps | Sweet Pea

Summary: After finding out that his girlfriend is pregnant, Sweet Pea decides to take her away from the dangers of Riverdale for a little while. Missing scene to where Sweet Pea was during the end of season 3 and beginning of season 4 <ao3> 

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader 

Rating: Teen+

Word Count: 2.7k+

Warnings: Teen pregnancy 

A/N: This was requested by the amazing @sweetsfuckingpea​! I hope you enjoy it, mom! When trying to think of motivation for Sweet Pea to leave Riverdale, pregnancy was the only thing I could come up with??? Probably because I currently have baby fever. x.x And I mean....who wouldn’t want babies that looked like Jordan Connor? 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” You asked for the millionth time as you sat across from Sweet Pea at a small dinner in a rural part of Pennsylvania. “With all that’s going on in Riverdale-”

“That’s exactly why we needed to leave.” He said seriously. “There’s too much drama there right now. We need to get away for awhile. Especially with the condition you’re in. I’m not risking your lives by staying in a town infested with mysterious seizures and drugged up rival gangsters.”

You let out a sigh, picking at your basket of fries. You hadn’t had much appetite the past couple of weeks. “My condition is exactly why we shouldn’t be travelling the countryside right now. We should be saving money! I told you I could have just taken out a loan and gotten it taken care of…”

Sweet Pea reached out, putting a steady hand on top of your shaking one. “Y/N, I know this is hard but we agreed not to do that. If you’ve changed your mind then I’ll support you, but I don’t want you to do it unless you’re absolutely sure.”

You withdrew your hand from his and hid it on your lap. “I don’t know what I want. It all just happened so fast. I haven’t had time to process anything.”

He sighed, wishing you would stop pulling away from him constantly. He went back to eating his food slowly. “Coming out here will give you time to think about it. Plus you told me countless times how you always wanted to road trip coast to coast. This might be your last chance for a while.”

A small smile formed on your lips, “you’re right, thank you, babe.” You leaned in for a quick kiss before going back to eating.

A week prior Sweet Pea had insisted that the two of you go on a road trip. Even though it was towards the end of Junior year, he said it wouldn’t matter since most of the time neither of you went to school anyway. You could always retake it the following year which didn’t seem so bad right now.

After many nights of not-so-careful screwing, you had wound up pregnant with only one possibility for the father. Sweet Pea was taking it amazingly well. You had expected him to punch a wall or make you leave or demand you get an abortion, but he did none of those things. Instead he sat in stunned silence for what felt like hours.

Eventually, when he did speak, he asked what you wanted to do. You didn’t know as you were still wrapping your head around the whole thing. You had suffered from a bad seizure months before and there was still no real explanation as to what caused it. Plus with increasing tensions mounting between the serpents and the gargoyles, Sweet Pea felt that Riverdale was no longer a safe place for you. Either of you. He wanted nothing more to protect you until you came to a decision.

You kept in contact with your friends back home as little as possible. It was too soon to tell them what was going on. Rumors flew by so quickly in the small town that you didn’t want to be known as the highschooler that got knocked up by a serpent. There were worse things to be said about you, sure, but it was still a sensitive subject. You weren’t even showing yet but who knew how long that would last.

“How does this spot look, princess?” Sweet Pea asked as he walked around a clearing in the small wooded area you had parked near. You had been camping out most nights, enjoying the sounds of nature with nothing to keep you warm but your boyfriend and your shared sleeping bag. It was nice, peaceful, and much less stressful than home.

You looked around, “are you sure there’s no bears around here? You know Archie got attacked by one once. He almost died.”

Sweet Pea rolled his eyes, “I’ve got my 12 gauge if there is one, come on, is this the place for tonight or what?”

Your eyes met his and you smiled lightly, “Sure. The ground is even at least and there’s that stream nearby.”

He came up to you and pulled you into a tight embrace, his head resting on top of yours. “Ready to get started or do you need to rest?”

You pushed him away gently, rolling your eyes. “I’m pregnant, Sweets, not disabled. Let’s go ahead and get started.”

That night, after everything was set, Sweet Pea had scoped out a local bar to go to. Naturally  he had his leather serpent jacket on while you went with something a bit more classic. Skinny jeans and a low cut t-shirt. Nothing too risque as you didn’t pack anything too revealing to wear. It’s not like you had planned on going bar hopping any time soon since you couldn’t drink.

But currently you were in a food desert and really the only place to grab a bite was the bar about twenty minutes away from your campsite. It was remote enough that neither of you thought anyone would mess with your tent, deciding to keep a majority of your possessions locked in the saddle bags of his motorcycle.

You arrived at the bar, noticing the plethora of bikes parked out front. Naturally your anxiety started to rise. If they saw Sweet Pea as some kind of rival then things could get ugly. “Maybe you should take your jacket off.” You murmured to him, already seeing a few passing by bikers give him a tentative look over.

“A serpent never sheds his skin.” Sweet Pea said faithfully, “It’ll be fine, baby girl. No one is going to mess with us.” He got off of his bike and put an arm around you, leading you inside the small bar. “Just worry about whether or not the food here is any good.” He joked.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him while you walked. He led you to a back corner and placed you at a booth there. “Stay here, I’m going to get some menus, okay? Stop looking at me like that, nothing is going to happen.” He said, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze in an attempt to reassure you before he left to go to the bar.

He disappeared behind a sea of bodies, while the bar wasn’t super crowded, the dim lighting made it hard to see far away. You huffed and pulled out your phone, trying to quell your anxiety by mindlessly scrolling through social media. He had wanted to hustle some pool as well to get you both some extra cash.

Someone sat down next to you, “Back already?” You asked, eyes not looking up from the screen.

“No, sweet thing, I’m just arriving.” A voice said smoothly. Your head shot up to see a somewhat thin biker sitting next to you. You immediately moved as far away from his as possible, which wasn’t much in the small booth.

“My boyfriend is coming back, you should leave.” You said, trying to keep your voice from shaking.

“That kid wearing the snake? No, you look like you could use a real man.” He said, breath reeking of cheap beer and tooth decay. It nearly made you gag.

“I’m seventeen.” You replied, hoping the fact that you were underage would get him to go away. Unfortunately it only seemed to make him more interested.

He smirked, “Good, I like ‘em young.”

A scared look crossed your face, your heart sinking deep down into your chest until you saw a hand with a tattooed thumb grab the intruder by the shoulder. “I don’t believe the teenager is interested in your pathetic ass.” Sweet Pea seethed, ripping the man out from behind the table. He stumbled forward, catching himself before straightening up.

“Southside Serpent, huh? More like Southside Street Rat.” The man said, looking up at Sweet Pea. His inhibition from the alcohol made the much taller boy’s large frame unfrightening.

Sweet Pea quickly grabbed the man by the collar of his old t-shirt, yanking him up onto his toes. “Want to say that again?” He asked, voice low and even but nevertheless filled the rage. “Or do you want to hit on my girl some more?”

“Fuck off man, this is my territory. Not yours.” He said, eyeing the guys around him.

Sweet Pea looked at the men coming towards him, “You guys really want to defend a pedophile? Be my guest, I’ll take you all on.”

“Sweet Pea…” You mumbled, trying to get him to calm down and not make the situation worse. Especially since he was alone in a sea of bikers.

He glanced at you and you could tell he couldn’t really see you through his anger. When he saw red it was literally all he saw.

“Put him down, kid.” A much older, bearded man said as he parted the crowd. The man looked down at you, “was he bothering you, miss?”

“Y-yes.” You stammered, terrified of what may happen. Your hand instinctively went to your stomach and it did not go unnoticed by the newcomer.

“And you’re a minor?” He probed and you could only nod your head in response, your voice no longer worker. The man turned to Sweet Pea, “then I’ll deal with him. We don’t take kindly to our guys trying to mess around with teenagers.”

Sweet Pea stared at the old biker, contemplating whether or not he should comply. He let out a large breath out of his nose as he set the offender down. Multiple guys grabbed him before he could make a break for it. They pulled him away and back through a back door.

“Sorry about him, son. I have suspected his...tendencies for a while now but had no proof. Sit down, you and your bird’s food is on the house.” He patted Sweet Pea’s shoulder before signalling for the crowd to disperse.

You felt like you were going to faint as Sweet Pea sat down next to you. “You are one lucky son of a bitch,” You croaked to him as you tried to regulate your breathing.

Sweet Pea was still very much upset, now unable to take his feelings out on anyone. “You okay?” He said, his voice not matching the words. They sounded much too rough.

You put a gentle hand on his bicep, trailing it downward in an attempt to soothe him. “I’m fine, you got here right in time. My hero.” The last part was a joke in an attempt to make him smile. It didn’t work until you gave him a light peck on the cheek. “I’ll have to make it up to you tonight.” You whispered into his ear, knowing the thought of a reward later would make him cool down.

His cracked smile grew and he put an arm around your shoulders. “Oh yeah? You owe me big time.” He teased, hand dipping down to brush against your side. “I got us free food.”

“Pretty sure, I got us free food. But okay, you win.” You said with a light giggle, kissing him once more.

“I love you.” He said, seeming out of nowhere. You looked up to see his eyes burning with emotion that you didn’t quite recognize. “I never loved anyone the way I love you.”

A blush spread hot across your face. “Not even Josie?” The question came out in a mumble. You had always been a bit insecure when it came to his feelings for her. After all, he was still getting over her when you two decided to start hooking up. It had been difficult at first because he was obviously still in pain over the rejection, but eventually he moved on when you showed him that you were more than happy to be his full-time girl.

Sweet Pea pressed a light kiss to your forehead, “not even Josie.” He added softly, knowing how much of a sore spot it was for you. “That was just a dumb crush. You’re...different. You always have been but I just ignored it, not thinking you felt that way.”

You buried your head into his shoulder, clearly embarrassed. “You’re an idiot. I’ve loved you since Freshman year.”

“What? Really?” He asked, clearly surprised as he tried to pull you away from him but you had latched onto him much too tightly. He wanted nothing more than to look into your eyes and see that what you were saying was the truth.

“Oh yeah, I fell pretty hard after you beat up the Ghoulies that were trying to jump me.” You said softly into his jacket, enjoy the smell of him and the leather mixing.

Sweet Pea couldn’t help but chuckle lightly. There was no way you could have taken on all five Ghoulies that had cornered you but you looked like you were bound to try with a heavy textbook in your hand as a makeshift weapon. “You were so cute. Looking like a bunny trying to fight off some strung out wolves.”

“Idiot.” Was all you could say, trying to mask how mortified you felt knowing that you didn’t look intimating in the slightest. “You came in swinging like a giraffe out of hell. Ready to kick ass and take names for seconds.”

He rested his head on top of yours, his grip on you tightening as his body trembled with silent laughter. “Yeah, had to defend that cute little bun. She was way too innocent to let her get devoured by some mangy mutts.”

“So you wanted to devour me instead?” You asked jokingly and he only laughed more.

“You got me.” He murmured softly into your hair and you swear you had never felt more at peace in your entire life then you did in that very moment.

Over the course of the next few months, Sweet Pea took you all the way to the west coast. You stopped at kitschy little tourist traps and adorable mom and pop places. He hustled pool, darts, really any bar game he was good at just to get you some spending money. Eventually you started to forget about Riverdale entirely. In fact, it had been weeks since the town even crossed your mind.

Until you got a phone call from Toni. You had just arrived in the outskirts of western Indiana when you decided to answer. It was the fifth time she had called you that day, and you knew that it had to have been important. Sweet Pea’s phone was turned off for this very reason, he didn’t want anyone bothering him.

What she had to say left you feeling cold. Jughead Jones was dead and they could just make it to his funeral if they started driving tonight. Sweet Pea said nothing. He was eerily quiet as he packed up everything and hopped back onto his bike with you behind him. And he drove, only stopping when he absolutely needed to sleep. Distantly you wondered what everyone would say about your protruding stomach. You were only a month shy of being full term. That was why you both had started heading back. And now everyone would know and there would be no escape. Not again. You weren’t ready but you had to be. There was no other option.

After a rough night in a motel, Sweet Pea finally noticed your distress. His mind had been preoccupied on the serpents for obvious reasons. “Hey, Y/N, come here.” He whispered and you moved closer to him. He enveloped you in his arms and breathed you in, almost as if it would be the last time you’d get to be alone together. “Everything is going to be alright. We’ll get through his just like we’ve gotten through everything else that has been thrown at us. Remember when we thought there was a bear and it was really just a stray cat going through our garbage? This is just like that. It’s just a cat. Not a terrifying bear, okay?”

You let out a low sight, “yeah...okay.”

“Do you trust me?” He asked, his voice so serious that it worried you.

“Of course.” You muttered back, not understanding what he was getting at.

He smiled softly, “Then trust me to get us through this.” He kissed you once more before finally getting up to get ready for the last leg of the drive. You’d be in Riverdale by late afternoon and your road trip would unfortunately be over.

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[excorcismic]

      ❛ remember the time . . . in SAN FRANCISCO ? with me by your side , in SAN FRANCISCO ? you are such a  s i g h t  , the deepest brown eyes , my dear . . . ❜

                                                                      ❛ MISA MISA !! ❜                                            playlist . plotting call . listen as you read !

the mirrors surrounding you did as they were meant to, reflecting back a spitting image of HIRAI MOMO  -  but it’s clear something is wrong from the moment that a vision of VALENTINE’S DAY , 2011 strikes you.  perhaps it was a passing daydream in the frenzy of the funhouse. you reassure yourself  -  you’re MISA AMANE ! ,  a TWENTY-FOUR YEAR OLD STREAMER / MUSICIAN whose virtue lies in your + LOYALTY & + OPTIMISM , although you’ve been told that you tend to be quite - NAÏVE & - IMPULSIVE ,  and you’re associated with BLACK PAINTED NAILS HOLDING A FOUNTAIN PEN , RUBY RED LIPS & EYES THAT MATCH , GIVING HIM YOUR EVERYTHING IN EXCHANGE FOR JUST HIS HEART by those around you.  suddenly,  however,  you’ve found LIGHT’S WHITE JACKET on your person - was that always there? from the moment you leave the funhouse,  memories from your life in DEATH NOTE have begun to return - leaving whoever you had been before in the mirror’s reflection behind you.  you can almost hear SAN FRANCISCO by THE DRIVER ERA following in your wake. ( she/her & demigirl )

                       this is the story of a very lonely girl .

I . WELL , LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW !

born in alucard , pennsylvania - misa amane was the child of celebrity parents who settled down in the small town . as of course , a TEMPORARY break . a director father and a failed actress mother , they were determined their daughter continue the legacy and turn into a star . and after a few good , normal years ( if ‘normal’ involved going to school & playing during the day then coming home to intense acting , singing , dancing practice ) , she managed to get wrapped into the world of stardom . 

first , it was through commercials . then , small parts in movies that called for cute little girls . then . . . a deal with a children’s network at age nine to star in a series about a child detective . affectionately called , THE MYSTERIES OF MISS MISA-MISA !

from nine to sixteen , she’d work tirelessly - becoming an instant hit the moment the pilot episode aired , selling merchandise all over the country and making appearances on other television shows . 

but then there’s the inevitable - kids start to grow up . the childish charm is lost & the children start to realize they were deprived of so much for the sake of fame . such things , like friends . and misa . . . although initially asked for a sequel series that would tackle the child detective now as a high schooler , declined in favor of going back home to pursue her high school years as a normal teen . of course - to the chagrin of her parents . she’d go back home to live with an aunt in alucard for a year , finishing her sophomore year , then her parents would follow - she’d move back in again at the start of her junior . and . . . it was not at all easy . considering a , she already had a reputation as a child star - which was equivalent to a target along her back . and b , the lack of friends was obvious - and even when she smiled at everyone , complimented their styles , helped them out with work she could assist with . . . most of the time , she’d sit by herself at the lunch table . or , with people that she didn’t know if they were actual friends or not . 

graduation comes , and misa amane stands to accept her diploma . there isn’t a graduation party ; she just sits in the back of her parents’ car , ready to go out to a fancy dinner she isn’t looking forward to .

II . YOU’RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE !

BUT ALL HOPE IS NOT LOST ! graduation is the end of a chapter - and the beginning of the next rests in amane’s hands . three months pass , and once again the family puts pressure on her to go back into showbiz . it isn’t too late , you’re young & pretty - you’re meant for movies . but . . . misa , of course , refuses . she actually is looking into maybe making another name for herself . . . but in a very different way than her parents would hope .

it’s an argument . an argument about how misa has talent she’s ignoring & an argument about how her parents can’t control her forever . one friend she has sits in her truck in the parking lot as misa packs her bags , and the heated argument ends with the blonde girl slamming the door and her parents telling her to come back only when she has her head screwed on straight . but it’s fine . misa’s alright with this - she’s going to be a star in her own right , since a band she’s started playing in underground has just gotten noticed . YOUR FRIENDS & THE SKELETONS - a hard pop-punk band influenced by the likes of my chemical romance , paramore , two door cinema club , the 1975 , what have you . 

alucard is left behind when the recognition comes since misa amane needs the change of scenery . but that doesn’t mean she is gone forever , as sometimes the pursuit of other things only lasts for so long . 

III . YOU’VE GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT !

the next few years are kind . the band experiences a nice success that means misa gets to live her dream - but she realizes the burnout when she looks back on everything she’s accomplished . the constant moving around , always only talking to the same few people or never anyone she gets to know - it registers that she’s still in some sort of box . and maybe a break from said box is needed .

your friends & the skeletons goes on a touring hiatus , retiring back to alucard . misa does not tell her family she’s going back - she doesn’t give a shit , and she doesn’t think they do , either . she gets an apartment by herself , and starts frequently streaming to still connect with her fans even though she’s taken a step back out of the spotlight . 

alucard is quiet . and alucard is home . but there’s a lot that misa again has to face .

she has a history here , yes - but nevertheless , there is still that feeling of loneliness . in every aspect - she never had many friends . little of her relationships lasted long , always ending with unrequited love , quick heartbreak , what have you . only her bandmembers did she have , even though she tried to throw herself at every friendly face she saw .

because she’s always been friendly . always a friend to everyone else , even if they aren’t a friend to her . only hoping maybe SOMEONE ELSE can see her as someone - begging to be somebody’s top-pick , somebody’s vip , somebody to someone . because her whole life she’s lived as only the bridesmaid , but never the bride in the eyes of those looking away from stardom . because it’s one thing to be adored by fans - it’s another to be adored by individual people .

IV . AND THEY’RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK !

nevertheless , amane is never one to give up quickly . because she believes that someday , maybe she’ll get what she wants . . . even though of course , when things go south , she still quickly accepts maybe she isn’t meant to be somebody’s someone . 

but she always smiles .

misa amane is one of a kind . she’s got so much love in her heart to share - she’s sensitive , maybe she gets hurt easily . maybe she’s IMPULSIVE and naive to where she bites off more than she can chew and believes things she shouldn’t . she jumps into things without realizing how much she could get hurt . talks without thinking . but she is friendly - she’s kind , outgoing , and cherishes those she admires even if they don’t cherish her back . her heart is forever on her sleeve , and all she wants to be loved . she’s been lonely for a long time .

she’s talented ! not only fronting her band with vocals & rhythm guitar , but also taking interests in visual art , crafting . aside from streaming , she runs a little etsy shop where she makes jewelry and keychains of her own little style . she of course can act , but hates it at this point . she also knows how to play the piano & the drums !!

she regularly streams for her fans - whether it’s to watch movies or shows with them or to play video games she has with them . she’s social , in that she always loves to talk to someone . her batteries recharge through social interaction , as an extrovert’s extrovert .

i wouldn’t say misa is stupid . she’s clever - witty . but sometimes she’s a little ditzy and acts without thinking ; i like to thing she did pretty well in school in terms of her grades , but her tendencies to both act and speak without thinking and sometimes forgetting simple things can give the impression she isn’t too smart . but she is ; just in her own special ways . she’s not dumb at all .

she also knows no fear - courageous to some points where it’s even dangerous . she regularly likes to go on adventures in the dark to investigate possible haunted areas , always is the one to kill the bugs when everyone else is scared , heights and the dark are never an issue . she also lives and breathes for the occult , heavily believing in everything supernatural . she even practices witchcraft ! 

also she's hardcore pan if u think misa is straight U Are Mistaken

it is almost a certain guarantee that misa amane is perhaps one of the friendliest faces in alucard . the one that only hopes you like her as much as she likes you . and maybe one day she’ll find that - until then , she will never stop persisting . she goes everywhere and she smiles at everyone ; a shimmer of sunshine in black platforms & cross earrings .

WHAT YOU WAITING - WHAT YOU WAITING - WHAT YOU WAITING - WHAT YOU WAITING - WHAT YOU WAITING FOR ?? . . .

                    . . .  holding on , i’m holding on to our story . . .

there is a girl . a very lonely girl . a very lonely girl that looks back at misa when she stares into the house of mirrors . and that lonely girl is a thought that misa can’t get out of her head , along with the newfound feeling that there is something - no , someone missing from her life that should be there . or was there . a missing piece that she doesn’t recognize . and the white jacket , a bit too big for her to fit , that appears on her person - the attachment she feels to it gives her security , like a safety blanket ; even though she has no clue where it came from , or who it actually belonged to . . . 

god i fried my own brain writing this but anyway HELLO EVERYONE once again i am hylia and . . . i have finally finished . my monster of an intro for misa . once again if u want to look at my plot/connection ideas pls click the plotting call link at the top of this post !! i love this girl to death and i hope u guys like her too c: bc she is my BABIE and i ,,, am so stoked to write her here . I’LL SEE Y’ALL WHEN I GET OFF WORK !! <3 

[spn-safeandsound]

09. Hurt Feelings

Safe and Sound

Dean Winchester x Original Character

Episode: 1x13; Route 666

Word Count: 10,028

Warning(s): Mature language, canon violence and gore, arguing

Author’s Note: New chapter alert! Sam and Julia finally talk about her feelings for Dean? Hope you enjoy! Reblog and like!

Masterlist in Profile Description!

Julia paced up and down the candy aisle at some gas station that she hadn't bothered to learn the name of. Her sweet tooth was out of control so she wanted to stock up on sweets before they continued on their journey to Pennsylvania. She already had some chocolate bars, goldfish crackers, and a couple of mini pies for Dean in the basket she was carrying around but now she needed fruity candies.

She reached forward, picking out a bag of Air Heads and then hesitated, eyeing the Skittles and Starbursts. After a couple of seconds, she grabbed a bag of each and threw them in the basket with the other snacks. As she moved on to the drink coolers, she grabbed a bag of jerky for Sam.

Sam found her by the Gatorade, searching for her favorite blue flavor.

"Are you almost ready?" he asked as he searched the basket, clicking his tongue in disapproval when he saw all the sweets. "Dean wants to get going."

"Well, Dean can wait," Julia stated. "I need a drink."

Sam sighed and opened the cooler door, reaching above her head to grab the lighter of the blue Gatorades. "There you go, Glacier Freeze."

"Thanks!"

"You should get some water, too," Sam advised as he grabbed a couple water bottles from the cooler. "You're gonna need it if you're eating all that sugar."

"Sam, hasn't anyone told you never to comment on a girl's eating habits?" Julia pursed her lips at him; Sam sent her an apologetic smile. "Okay, so, did you find a way around that construction?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," they walked through the aisles and to the counter. "We're not going to Pennsylvania anymore."

She smiled at the worker as they put their things on the counter so they could pay. "What? Why not?"

"An old friend of Dean's called. Her name's Cassie," Sam informed her as she slid her card through the machine. "I guess she needs our help."

Julia wrinkled her nose, trying to figure out Cassie was familiar to her. "Wait, Cassie Robinson?"

"I guess so. Why?"

Julia took the plastic bag from the worker. "Thanks so much," she said before she and Sam started walking out of the gas station. "Dean called me, like, two years ago drunk out of his mind and—"

"What?" Sam interrupted her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"That was after you two stopped talking, Sam," she reminded him; he nodded in realization. "Anyway, he was drunk and for some reason he called me."

"About Cassie," Sam assumed.

"Yep," Julia slowed down as they exited the building, her eyes on the Impala where Dean was waiting for them. "Did he say anything about her to you?"

Sam shook his head. "Not much. Just her name and that her father was killed in a car accident."

Julia hummed. When Dean had called her about Cassie, he was upset that she had dumped him. He had given her the ghosts-are-real-and-I-hunt-them speech and she had bolted, breaking up with him and calling him crazy. He had been in love with the girl, too. It was one of the only times that Dean had ever been truly honest with Julia about how he was feeling—though she was pretty sure it was because he was wasted.

Julia never mentioned it again and she didn't even know if Dean remembered calling her. She was just a little apprehensive about them going to see Cassie; she was protective of her boys and she didn't like when anyone hurt them.

"There you are," Dean sighed in aggravation as Julia and Sam slid into their respective seats, shutting their doors in unison. "What'd you need? A stockpile?"

"Well, I guess I can go return the pie I got..."

Dean eagerly turned around, an enthusiastic smile on my face. "Apple?"

"And cherry."

"Ooh, baby, you're so good to me," Dean playfully winked at her as she passed up two of the pies. Her cheeks flushed a dark pink as he turned back around and, when Sam gave her a small smirk, she practically threw his bag of jerky at him.

As Dean pulled out onto the road, a bite of pie already in his mouth, Julia spoke up, "Sam told me about Cassie," Dean paused mid-chew but he eventually he nodded. "Where does she live?"

"Cape Girardeau, Missouri."

Julia nodded and tore open the Almond Joy bar, ripping the almond off the top and throwing it into the garbage bag they kept so the Impala wouldn't get dirty. She stuffed the coconut and milk chocolate in her mouth, enjoying the sweetness on her tongue.

"So, this Cassie..." Sam looked over at his brother with a curious smile. "By old friend, do you mean...?"

"A friend that's not new."

"Wow, thanks for that," Sam rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean, Dean."

"Fine," Dean grunted in annoyance. "we went out."

"You mean you dated someone?" Sam seemed surprised. "For more than one night?"

"Am I speaking a language you're not getting here?" Dean snipped. "Dad and I were working a job in Athens, Ohio, she was finishing up college. We went out for a couple of weeks."

And fell in love, Julia supplied mentally, and then broke up because she thought you were crazy.

"And...?"

Dean shrugged in avoidance.

"Okay," Julia sighed and rested her chin on the back of their seat. "not to be negative here, because it's really sad that she lost her dad, but it sounds like a normal car wreck. I'm not seeing a connection to what we do."

"Which, by the way, how does she know what we do?" Sam added, both of them looking at the oldest Winchester for answers.

Dean licked his lips, like he was about to say something, but then pressed his mouth shut, thinking better of it. He avoided their eyes by keeping his right on the road, which was unusual for him. Julia was pretty sure that Dean was one of the most distracted drivers she had ever seen in her life but somehow he was still one of the best drivers.

Sam could connect the dots about Dean's awkward behavior. "You told her. You told her the secret," he proclaimed, voice completely shocked but a little angry, too. "Our big family rule number one: we do what we do and we shut up about it."

Dean sighed but Sam wasn't finished.

"For a year and a half, I do nothing but lie to Jessica and you go out with this chick in Ohio for a couple of weeks and you tell her everything?" he asked in disbelief. When Dean didn't answer, he raised his voice. "Dean!"

"Yeah," Dean finally spoke. "Looks like."

Sam gave his brother a bitch face but Dean pointedly ignored it.

"I know this isn't the best time but...Sam, why did you sound more upset about the fact they were Ohio than anything else?"

Sam gave Julia the bitch face, too.

-

The newspaper that Cassie worked for was squished into a small brick building in downtown Cape Girardeau. It was actually kind of cute, with small clusters of desks put together so that all of the workers were grouped with their own—the reporters with the reporters, the photographers with the photographers, the editors with the editors.

Julia, Sam, and Dean had been pointed in the direction of where Cassie would be by the receptionist. They made their way over to a gathering of three people conversing in the back corner of the office. Two of them were men and the woman had to be Cassie.

Cassie was beautiful with light brown skin and dark curls that seemed to lay perfectly. And, despite losing her father only days before, she looked well put together. It took Julia two weeks to even leave the house after Naomi died, so she knew Cassie had to be a strong woman. Dean wouldn't have fallen for her if she wasn't.

The man on Cassie's left was confronting the other man when the three of them walked over. "Two black people were killed on the same stretch of road in the same way in two weeks."

"Jimmy, you're too close for this. Those guys were friends of yours," the man tried to placate him before turning to Cassie. "Again, Cassie, I'm very sorry for your loss."

The second man turned and walked away and after a few seconds, so did Jimmy. Cassie was left alone but her eyes quickly fell upon Dean who was watching her with a small, if not awkward smile.

He nodded at her when her eyes widened.

"Dean," she sighed in relief, walking toward them. Her eyes were only for Dean, though. She hadn't even noticed Julia or Sam.

"Hey, Cassie."

Sam and Julia exchanged a small but amused smile when Dean and Cassie continued to silently stare at each other for around twenty seconds.

Finally, Dean cleared his throat. "This is my brother, Sam," he nodded at Sam and then at Julia. "and his friend, Julia."

Julia gave Cassie a quick smile in greeting but then it promptly fell. Why had he introduced her like that? First of all, she was Sam's best friend—as in, he was her brother and she was a sister to him. Second of all, she considered Dean to be her friend so did he not consider her as one?

"Sorry about your dad," Dean continued.

"Yeah," Cassie agreed sadly. "Me, too."

A half-hour later, Julia, Sam, and Dean were squished into a small couch with each other at Cassie's house. Cassie had made Julia and Sam some tea, with Dean declining the offer, and then sat on the seat across from them.

"My mother's in pretty bad shape," Cassie told them sadly. "I've been staying with her. I wish she wouldn't go off by herself, she's been so nervous and frightened. She was worried about Dad."

"Why?" Dean wondered as Julia and Sam sipped at their tea.

"He was scared," Cassie answered. "He was seeing things."

"Like what?"

"He swore he saw an awful-looking black truck following him. "

"A truck," Sam repeated, setting his teacup back on its saucer. "Who was the driver?"

"He didn't talk about a driver, just the truck," Cassie told him. "He said it would appear and disappear. In the accident, Dad's car was dented, like it had been slammed into by something big."

"Now, are you sure that this dent wasn't there before?"

Cassie shook her head. "He sold cars. Always drove a new one. There wasn't a scratch on that thing," she stated. "It was raining that night, there was mud everywhere. There was a distinct set of muddy tracks leading from Dad's car leading right..." her voice broke; Julia could feel her sadness and grief. "leading right to the edge, where he went over. One set of tracks—his."

"And the first victim was a friend of your father's?" Julia asked, taking another sip of her tea.

"Best friend. Clayton Soames," Cassie confirmed; at least she knew the difference between a friend and a best friend. "They owned the car dealership together."

Julia pressed her lips together thoughtfully. "The same thing?"

Cassie nodded. "Dent, no tracks, and the cops said exactly what they said about Dad. He lost control of his car."

Dean gave Sam a pointed look and then asked her, "Can you think of any reason why your father and his partner might be targets?"

"No."

"And you think this vanishing truck ran them off the road?"

Cassie laughed slightly at Sam's question, though it sounded bitter. "When you say it aloud like that..." she shook her head. "Listen, I'm a little skeptical about this...ghost stuff or whatever it is you guys are into."

Dean scoffed. "Skeptical," he repeated angrily. "If I remember, I think you said I was nuts."

Cassie pursed her lips. "That was then," Dean hummed sarcastically. "I just know that I can't explain what happened up there so I called you."

The front door opened and a woman walked in—well, stumbled in. Cassie jumped to her feet to rush over to her, while Julia, Sam, and Dean stood politely.

"Mom, where have you been?" Cassie steadied Mrs. Robinson. "I was so worried about you."

Mrs. Robinson waved her off, eyeing Julia, Dean, and Sam. "I had no idea you'd invited friends over."

"Mom, this is Dean, a..." Cassie hesitated before continuing. "friend of mine from college. This is his brother, Sam, and his friend, Julia."

Julia waved slightly, hiding her bitterness with a sympathetic smile.

She didn't even know why she was so bitter that Dean didn't consider her a friend. If he didn't, that was fine. They had only known each other for twenty years and spent almost everyday of the last seven months together in close corridors.

"Well, I, uh, I won't interrupt you," Mrs. Robinson went to walk out of the room but stopped when Dean spoke.

"Mrs. Robinson, we're sorry for your loss," he apologized. "We'd like to talk to you for a minute, if you don't mind?"

Mrs. Robinson looked at him wide, angry eyes. "I'm really not up for that right now."

As she walked out of the room, Cassie turned to them apologetically. "Sorry, she's having a rough time."

"It's no problem," Julia assured her. Grief effected everyone differently; Julia was rather avoidant and distant, herself, when she grieved. "It's late, we should get going..."

Dean nodded and stared at Cassie for a few seconds; she stared back, neither of them saying anything. It was incredibly awkward—for Julia, at least; Sam looked very amused at the situation Dean was in.

-

Julia was angry about something. Sam knew it from the moment he woke up to her shoving clothes back into her bag with quiet huffs that seemed to boom across the room. Dean was still dead to the world when she went to get ready for the day but now Sam was fully awake. He quickly got dressed and was pulling his toothbrush from the toiletry bag they shared when she came back out in spandex leggings and her Stanford crewneck, her hair pulled up into a high ponytail.

"I'm gonna go for a run," she informed him and it was only the second or third time in their life-long friendship that he heard her grumpy first thing in the morning. "Then I'm stopping at the diner for breakfast. Do you want me to bring you something?"

Sam shrugged. "I could eat."

"Then you will," Julia grabbed her debit card and license from her wallet and zipped them into the small pocket on her thigh. "See you in a bit."

"Be careful."

As Sam brushed his teeth and made sure his hair was neat, he wondered what Julia was angry about. The only thing he could think of is the fact that they were here on a case for Cassie. He wasn't sure if she knew about her feelings for Dean but he sure did.

His brother and Julia were both oblivious, though. It was concerning for both sides because Dean usually knew when women were attracted to him and Julia was pretty smart. How they couldn't see the feelings they had for each other was so frustrating, especially since Sam actually wanted it to happen so bad.

Dean was awake when Sam left the bathroom, his hair pointing in all directions like a hedgehog.

"Morning," he greeted his brother as he sat at the table to log into his laptop.

"Morning," Dean grumbled back, his eyes scanning the room. "Where's Jules?"

Sam hid his smile behind his laptop. "She went for a run. She's bringing back breakfast."

"Oh, good, I'm starving."

Twenty minutes later, Julia showed back up with breakfast. Sam watched his brother check her out—just like he knew he would because she was wearing those spandex leggings Dean loved—as she set the plastic bag and two coffees on the table.

"I got you a cheese and ham omelet," Julia said as she pulled a styrofoam container from the bag. "and toast with no butter."

Sam grinned as he took the coffee and food from her. "Thanks, J."

"No problem, Sam, that's what friends do."

"What'd you get me?" Dean bounded over to the table with a look of anticipation.

"Oh," she said flatly. "I didn't know you wanted anything."

Okay, this wasn't good. There were three different channels Julia would take when she was angry. There were the tears—which was her most usual one—the silent treatment—when she was so angry she didn't want to say anything to make it worse—and when she was petty, it meant that she was hurt and angry.

Not getting Dean food in the morning and then claiming she didn't know he wanted some was petty. Julia knew full well that Dean was hungry from the second he got up, sometimes even sooner. There had been numerous occasions the past few months the three of them spent together that Julia would pick up food early just so Dean could eat as soon as he got up.

So, she's hurt, too, Sam assumed to himself.

Dean gave her a horrified look. "You got Sam food."

"We're best friends."

"We're friends!" Dean exclaimed.

"Are we?" Julia's voice was dead calm and a lightbulb went off above Sam's head. "I hadn't known."

Julia was mad that Dean introduced her to Cassie as only Sam's friend and not their friend. Her friendships were important to her—Sam was pretty sure it stemmed from the fact that she didn't have many friends while growing up because she was from a prestigious family and she skipped a couple of grades, which freaked her classmates out. She was possessive and protective of her friendships and when Dean hadn't called her a friend, her feelings had been hurt.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Dean raised his eyebrows at her. "Of course we are. I've known you your whole life!"

Julia pressed her lips together in an even line and hummed before walking over to her bag and pulling out normal day clothes. She told them she was taking a shower before walking out of the room and slamming the door shut behind her.

Dean waited until he heard the water start before he looked over at Sam for answers.

"I think you hurt her feelings," Sam said quietly as he opened up his food container; Dean eyed it enviously.

"What'd I do?"

"You introduced her to Cassie as my friend."

"She is your friend."

"No, you made it sound like she was only my friend and not yours, too," Sam explained patiently; Dean wasn't the best with emotions.

Dean raised his eyebrows incredulously. "I didn't mean it like that," he defended himself. "That's really what she's hurt about?"

Sam nodded. "Well, and angry."

Dean huffed, pressing his lips together. "How'd you know that?"

"She didn't bring you breakfast," Sam pointed out and Dean frowned at the reminder. "She's being petty."

"Petty?"

"Yep," Sam confirmed and went on to explain as if he was a Julia-whisperer. "See, Dean, there are three channels of anger Julia takes. Tears, silent treatment, and pettiness. You've seen the first two before and now you're seeing the pettiness."

"So, when she's petty, she's angry and hurt?" Dean's voice was flat, like he couldn't believe that Julia could react that way. It was surprising to Sam since Dean could be pretty petty himself.

"Yeah."

"Well, she's a grown ass woman, it's not my fault her feelings were hurt," Dean huffed and reached for the second coffee Julia brought. His eyes softened when he saw his own name on it. "Damn it."

Sam's lips quirked at the look of regret on Dean's face.

It was quiet until Julia came out of the bathroom dressed in skinny jeans, a gray sleeveless blouse, and a black cardigan. "I need to do laundry tonight," she informed them, shoving her running clothes into her laundry bag. "What about you, Sam?"

"Yeah," Sam said thoughtfully. "I could."

"Good, I saw a laundry mat a block or so from the diner," Julia slipped on her gray ankle boots. "We'll hit it after dinner."

Sam nodded and Dean took the chance to try to get her attention. "Shortcake—"

"I also need more shampoo and conditioner," Julia interrupted like she hadn't heard him say her name. "I saw a Target in town, so maybe we can go there."

"Okay," Sam agreed.

"We can get you guys some more undershirts and things while we're there, too," Julia went on. "And I'm pretty sure you guys need shaving cream."

"Yeah, I think we're out."

Julia nodded and grabbed the notepad that the motel provided from the nightstand. She sat at the table and wrote down a list of things they needed; Sam smiled when he saw her include cooling and windshield wiper fluid for the Impala.

Dean finally had enough of her ignoring him. Maybe he realized just how much the two of them usually interacted compared to the silence she was giving him now.

"Julia, I'm sorry for telling Cassie you were only Sam's friend," he apologized quickly.

Both Sam and Dean looked at her expectantly. Julia just waved a hand at him. "It's fine."

Dean looked to Sam, perplexed, but Sam just shook his head. It wasn't fine.

And now Dean was getting mad. Sam could see the stormy look growing in his eyes. He knew he was in for a day of tense silence and angry looks. He was just grateful it wasn't as bad as their last argument; Dean probably wouldn't let their anger get that far again, though, since he still felt guilty about her getting injured while he was supposed to be her backup.

Two hours later, after getting a call from Cassie to tell them about her another death, they headed to the scene of the accident. Her boss, Jimmy, had crashed on the same stretch of road that Mr. Robinson and his business partner had died on.

When they arrived, Cassie was already talking with the man they saw her and Jimmy with the day before.

"Jimmy meant something to this town," the man said solemnly. "He was one of our best. We won't be the same without him."

"Our best seem to be dropping like flies," Cassie retorted angrily. "Clayton, my father, Jimmy..."

The man gave her an exasperated look. "What is it exactly you want me to do?"

"How about closing this section of road, for starters?"

"Close the main road," the man scoffed. "The only road in and out of town? Accidents do happen, Cassie, and that's what they are—accidents."

Dean stepped in then, probably sensing that Cassie was about to blow a gasket. "Did the cops check for additional denting on Jimmy's car to see if it was pushed?"

The man looked to Cassie. "Who is this?"

"I'm Dean Potter, private investigator," Dean informed him before Cassie could answer. "This is my partner, Sam Granger—" he gestured to Sam and then Julia. "and our assistant, Julia Weasley."

"They're family friends," Cassie added to the man, before introducing him. "This is Mayor Harold Todd."

"There was one set of tire tracks," Mayor Todd said matter-of-factly. "One. That doesn't point to foul play."

"Mayor, the police and town officials take their cues from you. If you're indifferent about—"

Mayor Todd cut her off indignantly. "Indifferent!"

"Would you close the road if the victims were white?" Cassie demanded.

Julia, Sam, and Dean's eyes all went to the mayor, waiting for an answer.

The mayor looked at her in shock. "You're suggesting I'm racist, Cassie?" he asked her and went on without an answer. "I'm the last person you should talk to like that."

Cassie pursed her lips. "And why is that?"

"Why don't you ask your mother?"

The mayor walked away without a word, leaving Cassie severely frustrated and confused.

"Uh, Jules and I are gonna go talk to some people, see if we can find out some more information," Dean said awkwardly; Julia pursed her lips, unhappy that she was paired up with the brother she was fighting with. "Sam, you stay with Cassie."

Sam nodded and stepped closer to Cassie as Dean and Julia walked away to question some of the police.

"So," Cassie started; Sam turned to her to see that she was looking over at Dean and Julia, who seemed to be arguing more than trying to find a person they could talk to. "How'd you and Dean meet Julia?"

"She's family friend, my best friend," Sam told her. "We've known her almost all our lives."

Cassie hummed and crossed her arms over her chest. Her gaze was still on the pair and he looked to see that Julia was playfully pushing Dean, a suddenly amused look on her face. He must have told her a corny joke or something because Dean was laughing too.

That was how a lot of their arguments ended. Dean would tell a joke that wasn't really funny—Julia was a huge fan of dad jokes—and she would get distracted. They laughed together and then they'd get over whatever they were squabbling about. Sam much preferred those arguments than the ones that ended with Dean storming out of the room to cool off or Julia bursting into tears and hiding in the bathroom only for Dean to lure her out with a candy bar or cookies a half-hour later.

"He looks happy with her," Cassie commented softly. Her tone wasn't jealous or even bitter. It was simple and to the point like she was stating a universal truth.

Sam smiled softly as he continued watching his brother and best friend. Julia had gestured over to one of the coroner's employees and, when Dean nodded, she started toward the woman. Dean's eyes followed her for a few seconds before walking after her.

"Yeah, he does."

-

Sam walked out of the bathroom, shrugging on his suit jacket as he went. Julia was already dressed in a casual work-dress and black heels as she stood in front of Dean, reaching up to straighten his tie for him.

"Well," he spoke up, earning a brief glance from Julia. "Cassie sure is fearless."

"Mmhm," Dean hummed, keeping his eyes on Julia's face.

"I bet she kicked your ass a couple of times."

Dean finally turned away from Julia as she finished with his tie and gave Sam an annoyed look.

"What I think is interesting is the fact that you two never look at each other at the same time," Julia spoke up as she went to sit at the foot of Dean's bed, crossing her leg over the over; Dean's eyes followed the movement. "You look at her when she's not looking and she looks at you when you look away."

"That's true," Sam agreed. He had noticed that as well but he also noticed that the same thing applied to Adrian and Julia, too.

Dean gave them both annoyed looks now. "You think we might have more pressing issues here?"

"Ooh, Sam, I think we hit a nerve," Julia cooed teasingly.

Dean pressed his lips together. "Oh," he complained, turning away from them to leave the room. "Let's go."

Julia smiled and raised her eyebrows at Sam, earning an amused grin in return.

The three of them went down to the docks by the river, looking for friends of Jimmy's that were both his next of kin. They were posing as insurance agents who needed to investigate the matter of Jimmy's death. Sam and a reluctant Dean let Julia take the lead on the questioning since she had a better track of getting old men to answer her questions.

"Excuse me," Julia walked over to a table where two men who matched the description of who they were looking for sat. "Are you Ron Stubbins and Clarence Thomas?"

Both men nodded.

"And you were friends with Jimmy Anderson?"

"Yeah," Ron confirmed when Julia smiled charmingly. "Whatcha need, girly?"

"Me and my partners, here, are from Mr. Anderson's insurance company, All National Mutual," Julia informed the men. "We just need to ask you a few questions to make sure our report is correct. Is that okay?"

"Sure thing, sweetheart."

Sam saw Julia flinch only slightly—a left over response from her run-in with the shapeshifter—and then cover it up with a smile. "We were just wondering, had Mr. Anderson mentioned any unusual recent experiences?"

Ron furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean, unusual?"

"Well, visions, hallucinations," Sam listed helpfully.

Ron and Clarence gave him a weird look.

"It's part of the medical report, Mr. Stubbins and Mr. Thomas," Julia assured them kindly. "It's just standard questioning with car accidents."

"Right," Ron nodded. "Well, no, he wasn't."

"Had he mentioned seeing a big black truck?" she continued to dazzle them. "We've got some local reports so wewant to make sure there's no correlation to Mr. Anderson's accident."

"He didn't say anything to me," Ron denied.

"Was this truck a big scary monster-looking thing?" Clarence asked.

"Yes, sir."

Dean and Sam gave each other impressed looks. Julia was crushing this.

"I've heard of a truck like that," Clarence said. "but it's been years."

Julia raised her eyebrows curiously. "Years?"

Clarence nodded. "Back in the sixties, there was a string of deaths—black men," he informed them. "Story goes, they'd disappeared in a big, nasty, black truck."

"Did they ever catch the person who did it?"

"Never found him," Clarence shook his head and scoffed. "Hell, I'm not sure they even really looked. See, there was a time this town wasn't too friendly too all of its citizens."

Julia gave him a sympathetic smile and reached out to shake both of their hands. "Well, thank you for answering our questions, gentlemen," she said sweetly. "You two enjoy the rest of your day."

"You too, honey," Clarence grinned at her while Ron smiled gratefully.

Sam and Dean each shook Ron and Clarence's hands before they left the dock.

"The truck," Dean spoke up when they were far enough away from the dock so they weren't overheard.

Sam nodded. "Keeps coming up, doesn't it?"

Dean hummed. "You know, I was thinking...you ever heard of the Flying Dutchman?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "a ghost ship infused with the captain's evil spirit. It was basically a part of him."

"Yeah, so, what if we're dealing with the same thing?" Dean theorized. "You know, a phantom truck, an extension of some bastard's ghost, reenacting past crimes."

"The victims have all been black men," Julia said thoughtfully. "but they're also connected to Cassie's family in some way."

"I was thinking the same thing," Dean agreed with her.

"All right," Sam nodded. "Dean, you work the Cassie angle and go talk to her."

"Yeah, I will."

"Oh, and you might also want to mention that other thing," Sam suggested.

Dean gave him a confused look as they approached the Impala. "What other thing?"

"The serious unfinished business," Sam reminded him. "Dean, what is going on between you two?"

"All right, so maybe we were a little bit more involved than I said," Dean admitted.

Sam nodded skeptically. "Oh, okay."

"Okay, a lot more, maybe," Dean sighed. "And I told her our secret, about what we do, and I shouldn't have."

"Look, man, everybody's gotta open up to someone sometime," Sam told his brother, his eyes darting to behind Dean, where Julia was leaning against the Impala and staring at the river with an impassive glare.

"Yeah, I don't," Dean stated as if he didn't already know that. "It was stupid to get that close. I mean, look how it ended."

Sam smiled at him.

"Would you stop?" Dean gave him an uncomfortable look. "Blink or something!"

"Dean," it was Julia who spoke this time, getting both brothers' attention. "you loved her."

"Oh, God," Dean groaned in disgust.

Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You loved her but you dumped her?"

"No, she dumped him," Julia corrected him absentmindedly.

"She dumped you?"

Dean shot her an annoyed look. "Julia, what the hell?"

Julia gave him an innocent smile but it didn't seem to work.

Dean huffed and opened his door. "Get in the car," he ordered, sliding into his seat. When neither Sam nor Julia moved, he repeated himself, "Get in the fucking car!"

Julia and Sam exchanged another amused look before getting in their respective seats.

-

"Got any fours?"

"Nope," Sam replied. Julia sighed and leaned forward, picking a new card up out of the deck.

The twenty-four-hour laundry mat was empty except for them, though it was because it was close to midnight. The air was cold and Sam was chilled but Julia sat on the counter in just pajama shorts and a tank-top, unbothered by the temperature. The girl had fire in her veins, she was never cold.

They broke out the deck of cards as they washed all the dirty clothes they had, taking up four of the washers and dryers. Luckily, they were almost done. They had one last load of Julia's clothes in the dryer that had to finish and then be folded, but other than that, they were pretty much finished.

They'd gone through two games of rummy, one game of war, and one game of slapjack by the time they settled on go-fish. It was child's play but it was better than doing nothing. Julia's iPod was turned on and they were able to listen to music that didn't have an insane drumbeat.

"Do you have any nines?" Sam asked as Yellow by Coldplay started playing.

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you...

Julia pouted and pulled a nine from her hand, passing it over to him. "Why are you so good at this?"

Sam chuckled. "It's just luck, J."

In truth, it was because he could see her cards. She wasn't the best at hiding them but he didn't say anything because it amused him. It was like with Dean when he only picked scissors when they did rock-paper-scissors.

And everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow...

Julia hummed doubtfully. "Okay, go again."

"Um, two?"

Julia's face lit up. "Ha! Go fish!"

Sam made a show of rolling his eyes while he grabbed a new card.

"Do you have an eight?"

Sam silently handed over the card to her, making her pump her fist excitedly as the chorus of the song played.

"Okay, what about a five?"

"Go fish."

"No!" Julia sighed dramatically, picking up a card. "Your turn, S."

"Ones?"

"Go fish."

"Tens?"

"Go fish."

"Fives?"

Julia gaped at him in disbelief. "You said you didn't have any fives, Samuel!"

"And then I picked one up," Sam defended himself with a slight smirk. "So, do you have a five?"

"I hate you!" Julia threw the card at him.

"No, you don't," Sam put down his pair. "Okay, ones?"

"Go fish."

I swam across, I jumped across for you. Oh, what a thing to have done and it was all yellow...

"This is a good song," Sam commented as he grabbed a card from the deck.

Julia nodded. "Yeah, it reminds me of someone."

Oh, really? He thought to himself. Someone, whose name rhymes with Wean Dinchester?

He decided to just bite the bullet. "Someone like Dean?"

Julia's eyes immediately darted up to his. "What?" she shook her head in denial. "No, of course not."

"Right," he nodded in agreement. "Of course, not."

And you know, for you I'd bleed myself dry...

As the guitar solo started, Julia blurted, "Yes, it's someone like Dean."

"I knew it!" Sam grinned. "I knew you liked him."

Julia rolled her eyes. "God, I never thought I'd be having girl-talk with you, S."

"Yeah, well, how many times did you listen to me yearn over Jess?"

Julia chuckled. "For about a year," she grinned fondly. "and then, when I got back to the dorm, she'd talk about you."

Sam changed the subject before the grief could start in. "You should tell Dean."

Julia raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?"

"...No."

"Sam, Dean isn't the love type of guy," she reminded him. "He doesn't do relationships."

"He loved Cassie and he dated her a couple of weeks."

"Yeah, well, obviously, that's different."

"Yeah, you have more history and chemistry with him," Sam pointed out. "You've known him your whole life."

"Exactly!" she pointed at him. "He still sees me as a kid—do you have a two?"

"Go fish," Sam answered. "and trust me, J, he doesn't see you as a kid."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean that he'd be in jail if he looked at a kid like he looked at you."

Julia scoffed and reached forward, slapping his thigh. "Samuel William!"

"What, it's true!" Sam rubbed the spot where she hit him. "You should see the looks he gives you. You look at him like that, too."

"I don't leer at him!"

"I didn't say anything about leering, you said that on your own. Do you have a one?"

"I don't have any ones, Sam, God!"

"It's the only card I have left."

"Well, now you have another one."

Sam reached for a card from the deck. It was a one. He chuckled and set down his last pair, grinning triumphantly at Julia's disappointed pout.

"Why do you have to win every game?"

"Because I'm awesome," Sam said quickly. "Now, back to Dean..."

"Okay, first of all, you're way too excited about this," Julia jumped off the counter as Sam started picking up the deck. "Secondly, Dean and I aren't gonna happen."

Sam closed the deck and slipped it back into Julia's purse. "You don't know that."

"Why hasn't he called us yet?" Julia asked pointedly. "He never goes over an hour to check in if we're by ourselves. It's been six hours since he went to Cassie's and there's been no word."

"So?"

"So, obviously something is going on over there and I don't think it's because he's in danger."

"Okay," Sam had to admit that she was probably right. "but that doesn't mean they're together. Dean's had one-night-stands before."

"Not with someone he loved."

Sam sighed. "Look, Dean may have had feelings for Cassie but I doubt it was love."

"Oh?"

"When Dean loves someone he fights for them," Sam declared and Julia's lips twisted thoughtfully. "He fought to find our dad. He's fought for me so many damn times that I've lost count. So, if he really loved Cassie as much as you think he did, he would have stayed and changed her mind."

The Coldplay song ended and one by Britney Spears started up. The last dryer beeped, signaling that Julia's clothes were done.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, Sam," Julia sighed as she brought the laundry cart over to the dryer to take out her clothes. "It just gets my hopes up and I don't want to deal with the fallout when Dean inevitably rejects me."

"Julia..."

"Seriously, Sam."

"Okay, fine," Sam gave in and walked over to the table where the rest of their clothes were, already folded. He picked up one of her t-shirts and folded it, putting it in her pile. "You know, we should go see a movie soon."

"Yeah?" Julia raised an eyebrow at him, approving of the subject change. "Which one?"

"I saw that Stick It is getting good reviews."

"We'll go for your birthday," Julia promised. "The lucky twenty-three. God, you're so old."

"Shut up."

-

Julia acted like the conversation she and Sam had the night before hadn't happened. Sam didn't bring it up, either, especially since Dean never came back to the motel room. She seemed okay, though, she didn't seem jealous or bitter like other twenty-year-old women might have been when the guy they had feelings for met up with an old flame and spent the night with them. There were moments where Julia could be a little brat—like most younger sisters—but the older she got the more mature she was getting.

And, when they got a call about the mayor's death, she was the one to call Dean to tell him about it.

It was way too cold for mid-April, so Sam and Julia were bundled up in their warmest jackets—which, really, was just Sam's usual canvas jacket and one of Julia's crewnecks—as they went to see what had happened to the mayor. They questioned the police, using the same private investigator alias that Dean brought up the day before, and waited for Dean to meet up with them.

Just as they were finishing up with one of the police officers, the man's eyes flickered behind them. Julia and Sam turned slightly and noticed that Dean was approaching them.

"He's with us," Sam informed the police officer. The man walked away and Sam expectantly turned to Dean. "Where were you last night? You didn't make it back to the hotel."

Dean turned away from Sam and Julia, watching the mayor's body bag being carted by. "Nope."

"I'm guessing you guys worked things out?"

"We'll be working things out while we're ninety," Dean grumbled. "So, what happened?"

"Every bone in the mayor's body was crushed," Julia spoke up, curling her hand into the sleeves of her sweatshirt. "Internal bleeding all over the place...none of the cops know what happened."

"It was like something ran him over," Sam finished.

"Something like a truck?"

"Yep."

"Tracks?"

"What was the mayor doing here, anyway?" Dean wondered.

"He owned the property," Julia informed him. "Bought it a few weeks ago."

"Yeah, but he's white," Dean pointed out. "He doesn't fit the pattern."

"And the killing didn't happen up on the road, so that doesn't fit, either," Sam stated.

"Okay," Dean sighed, running a hand down his face. "I'll go see if Cassie can help me get access to whatever happened in the sixties. You two go to the courthouse to see what you can find out about the mayor and why the truck came to this place."

The three of them split up again, Julia and Sam teaming up once more to form their dynamic duo. With two of them being able to research without Dean distracting Julia—who was already prone to being distracted—they easily found the property records that the mayor just purchased.

They called Dean when they got back to the motel with lunch.

"Yeah?" Dean answered.

"Okay, the courthouse records show that Mr. and Mrs. Mayor bought an abandoned property," Sam informed his brother while Julia munched on her lunch of grilled cheese and fries. "The previous owner was the Dorian family, for, like a hundred and fifty years."

"Dorian?"

"Yeah."

"Didn't you say that Dorian family used to own this paper?" they heard Dean ask Cassie.

"Yeah," Cassie confirmed. "Along with everything else around here. Real pillars of the town."

"Right, right," Dean hummed; Julia and Sam heard the light clicks of a computer mouse. "That's interesting."

"What?" Julia wondered, popping a fry in her mouth.

"This Cyrus Dorian, he vanished in April of sixty-three," Dean told them. "The case was investigated but never solved. It was right around the time the string of murders going on back then."

"Well, we pulled a bunch of papers up on the Dorian place," Julia sighed. "It must have been in bad shape when the mayor bought it."

"Why's that?"

"The first thing he did was bulldoze the house."

"Mayor Todd knocked down the Dorian place?" Dean asked Cassie.

"It was a big deal," Cassie told him. "One of the oldest houses left. He made the front page."

Dean clicked his tongue. "You got a date, shortcake?"

"The third of last month."

There was more clicking on the other line. "Mayor Todd bulldozed the Dorian family home on the third," Dean declared. "The first killing was the very next day."

-

Julia passed the cup of tea to Cassie with a small smile, making sure she wouldn't burn herself.

Cassie sighed heavily. "Maybe you could throw a couple of shots in that."

Julia just gave her another smile and sat down on the couch next to her. Cassie had called Dean an hour after they had eaten dinner, frantically telling him that she had seen the scary black truck that had been killing people. The three of them rushed over to her house to keep her safe and comfort her.

"You didn't see who was driving the truck?" Dean asked from Cassie's other side.

Cassie shook her head. "It seemed to be no one. Everything was moving so fast and then it was just gone," she gave him a frightened look. "Why didn't it kill us?"

"Whoever was controlling the truck wants you afraid first," Dean told her.

Sam, who was sitting in one of the chairs across from the couch, turned to Mrs. Robinson, who was sitting next to him. "Mrs. Robinson, Cassie said that your husband saw the truck before he died."

Mrs. Robinson stared at him, the teacup in her hands shaking.

"Mom?" Cassie prompted.

"Oh, Martin was under a lot of stress," Mrs. Robinson said. "You can't be sure about what he was seeing."

"Well, after tonight, I think we can be reasonably sure he was seeing a truck," Dean bristled, his voice growing firm. "What happened tonight, you and Cassie are marked, okay? Your daughter could die so if you know something, now would be a really good time to tell us about it."

Cassie gave him a warning look. "Dean."

Dean didn't back down, staring at Mrs. Robinson expectantly.

"Yes," Mrs. Robinson answered. "Yes, he said he saw a truck."

"Did he know who it belonged to?" Julia asked.

"He thought he did."

"Who was that?"

"Cyrus," Mrs. Robinson answered Dean, her lips pressed together emotionally. "A man named Cyrus."

Julia turned to Dean and Sam with raised eyebrows, getting similar looks back from both of them. She pulled the newspaper article that Dean had printed about Cyrus Dorian from her purse and showed it to Mrs. Robinson.

"Is this Cyrus?"

Tears filled Mrs. Robinson's eyes. "Cyrus Dorian died more than forty years ago."

"How do you know he died, Mrs. Robinson? The paper said he went missing," Dean asked, his face falling in realization. "How do you know he died?"

"We were all very young," Mrs. Robinson started to explain, her voice trembling. "I dated Cyrus for a while and I was also seeing Martin—in secret, of course. Inter-racial couples didn't go over too well back then. When I broke it off with Cyrus and he found out about Martin..." she paused and shook her head before quietly continuing. "I don't know, he changed. His hatred—his hatred was frightening."

"The string of murders," Sam assumed.

"There were rumors, people of color disappearing into some kind of truck," Mrs. Robinson confirmed. "Nothing was ever done."

Julia frowned, angry that the people who were killed by Cyrus didn't get justice for what happened to them.

"Martin and...Martin and I, we were gonna be married in that little church near here but last minute we decided to elope because we didn't want the attention," Mrs. Robinson went on, sniffing back tears.

"And Cyrus?"

Mrs. Robinson's face contorted as a sob escaped her throat. "The day we set for the wedding was the day someone set fire to the church," she cried; Julia inhaled sharply, her own tears filling her eyes. "There was a children's choir practicing in there. They all died."

"Did the attacks stop after that?" Julia whispered shakily.

"No, there was one more," Mrs. Robinson told them through her sobs. "One night that truck came for Martin. Cyrus beat him something terrible but Martin, you see, Martin got loose...and he started hitting Cyrus and he just kept hitting him and hitting him."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Why didn't you call the cops?"

Julia gave Dean a pointed look; he knew damn well why they didn't call the cops. She didn't blame them; Cyrus deserved what he got.

"This was forty years ago," Mrs. Robinson cried. "He called on his friend, Clayton Soames and Jimmy Anderson, and they put Cyrus' body in the truck and they rolled it into the swamp at the end of his land. All three of them kept that secret all of these years."

"And now all three are gone," Sam said quietly. "and so is Mayor Todd."

"He said that you, of all people, would know he is not a racist," Dean looked to Mrs. Robinson. "Why would he say that?"

"He was a good man," Mrs. Robinson's cries calmed as she placed her hands on her neck. "He was a young deputy back then, investigating Cyrus' disappearance. Once he figured out what Martin and the other had done, he...he did nothing...because he also knew what Cyrus had done."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Cassie asked her mother, her voice breaking.

"I thought I was protecting them," Mrs. Robinson's sobs started up again. "and now there's no one to protect."

That's not true, Julia thought to herself. She has Cassie.

Dean had the same idea. "Yes, there is," he told her before looking over at Cassie. Mrs. Robinson did, too, her face falling in realization.

Julia, Sam, and Dean reconvened out by the Impala to discuss what they found out.

"Ah, my life was so simple," Sam sighed playfully as he and Julia leaned against the car and Dean paced back and forth in front of them. "Just school, exams, papers on polycentric cultural norms..."

"Translating old Hebrew proverbs, comparing and contrasting Islam and Christianity, trying to tell the difference between classical Latin and archaic Latin..." Julia added wistfully.

"Well, I guess I saved you two from a boring existence," Dean stopped pacing to lean against the car, too.

"Ah, occasionally I miss boring," Sam sighed heavily.

"So, this killer truck—"

"I miss conversations that didn't start with this killer truck," Sam added, more playfully.

Dean chuckled a little. "Well, this Cyrus guy. Evil on a level that infected even his truck," he stated. "When he died, the swamp became his tomb and his spirit was dormant for forty years."

"So what woke it up?" Julia asked,

"The construction on his house," Dean told her. "or the destruction."

"Right," Sam nodded. "Demolition or re-modeling can awaken spirits, make them restless. Like that theatre in Illinois, you know?"

"And the guy that tore down the family homestead, Harold Todd, is the same guy that kept Cyrus' murder quiet and unsolved."

"So, now his spirit is awakened and out for blood."

"Yeah, I guess," Dean shrugged. "Who knows what ghosts are thinking, anyway?"

"You know we're going to have to dredge that body up from the swamp, right?" Sam pointed out.

Dean smirked at him, causing Sam to let out a groan. "What?" Dean asked innocently. "You said it."

"Yeah."

Dean shook his head and looked toward the house, straightening up when he saw Cassie walking toward them. "Hey."

"Hey," Cassie smiled at him. "She's asleep. Now what?"

"Well, you should stay put and look after her," Dean told her. "and we'll be back. Don't leave the house."

"Don't go getting all authoritative on me," Cassie shook her head with a small smile. "I hate it."

Julia wrinkled her nose as they flirted, looking over at Sam to see that he was already smiling at her. She smoothed out her face and tried not to react as Dean apologized to Cassie and they started making out right in of them.

This is so incredibly awkward, she mused.

Sam cleared his throat and Dean reached behind his back to give him the finger.

When Dean pulled away from the kiss, he told Cassie, "Julia's gonna stay with you, all right?"

"What?" Julia spoke up, unpleased. "I'm going with you and Sam."

"No, you're staying with Cassie," Dean's tone was authoritative and it made her bristle. "I don't need to babysit you while this is going on."

"Dean."

Sam winced as Julia's eyes started to water. "Babysit me?" she scoffed. "How many times have I saved your ass since I started hunting with you?"

"Don't change the subject," Dean almost barked. "Do what I said and stay by Cassie's side."

Julia angrily pressed her lips together and grabbed her laptop from the backseat of the Impala. "You're a dick," she spat at Dean as she stormed past him, Sam, and Cassie back up to the house. "Don't come crying to me when you need my help!"

It was awkward and quiet when Cassie came back into the house and sat with her in the living room. Julia had already booted up her computer to work on an upcoming essay in her Hebrew class when Cassie spoke up.

"I'm sorry you had to stay with me," she apologized.

"It's not that I have to stay with you," Julia assured her with an apologetic smile. "It's that Dean treats me like I'm a kid and I can't make my own choices."

Cassie hummed knowingly. "I know what that feels like," she shared. "If it makes you feel any better, though, I think he's doing it to look out for you."

No, Julia thought, he wanted me to look after you.

She just gave Cassie a small smile, deciding that if Dean wanted her to be with Cassie, it was because he trusted her. Either way, she was still irritated. She didn't like being bossed around; if he just asked her to stay instead of commanding it like she was his assistant, it would have been fine.

It was another hour later that Sam called Julia, asking for information about the church so they could get rid of the spirit truck which was now following Dean around the back roads. Cassie gave Julia the information and she called Dean right away.

"What?" Dean snapped, the engine revving in the background. "This better be good."

"Where are you?" Julia asked as she looked down at the map Cassie had pulled out for her.

"In the middle of fucking nowhere with a killer truck on my ass!" he shouted, causing her to wince from the volume. "It's like it knows I put the torch to Cyrus."

"Listen to me, this is important so I have to know exactly where you are."

"Decatur Road, about two miles off the highway."

Julia scanned the map, easily finding the road. "Okay. Are you headed east?"

"Yes!" there was a loud crash of metal and then, "You son of a fucking bitch!"

"Okay, turn right," Julia said hurriedly. "Up ahead, turn right."

The squeal of tires met Julia's ears. "Did you turn?"

"Yeah, I made the turn!" Dean shouted. "You're gonna need to move this thing along a little faster."

"Do you see a road up ahead?" Julia consulted the map, biting her lib anxiously.

"No—wait, yes, I see it."

"Okay, turn left."

"Okay, now what?"

"You need to go exactly seven-tenths of a mile and then stop," she advised him.

"Stop?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"Exactly seven-tenths, Dean."

"Seven-tenths, seven-tenths..."

More tire squealing and then just the engine of the Impala as it idled.

"Dean, are you still there?"

"Yeah."

"What's going on?"

"It's just staring at me," Dean reported. "What do I do?"

"Just keep doing what you're doing. Stay still and bring it to you."

"Wha—?" Dean stammered. "Come on, come on, come on..."

There was a loud roar of an engine, much different than the Impala's, and then it disappeared. Julia looked up at Cassie, who was looking at the phone with an anxious expression.

"Dean, are you okay?" Julia called, knowing that he was probably okay. There would have been a loud crash, otherwise.

"Where'd it go?"

"Dean, you're where the church was."

"What church?"

"The place that Cyrus burned down and killed all those kids," Julia informed him. "Even if it's not still standing, it's hallowed ground. Evil spirits cross over hallowed ground and sometimes they get destroyed. Sam figured it out and I had to find the location."

"Well, what if it hadn't of worked?" Dean almost yelled.

Julia frowned. Even when she and Sam saved his ass, he was still a dick. "Hey, I was just following orders," she snapped at him. "I guess that's all I'm good for."

She snapped the phone shut and threw it in her laptop case. "The spirit's gone," she told Cassie, a little snippily. "If you want to talk to Dean, you'll have to call him from your phone."

"Yeah, no problem," Cassie nodded. "Thanks for your help, Julia."

"I didn't do much of anything," Julia sighed and gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm really sorry about your dad, Cassie."

Cassie smiled sadly. "Me too."

-

It was silent in the motel room that night. Dean had gone to town as soon as he dropped Julia and Sam off at the room and, an hour and a half later, he still wasn't back. Sam had started reading a book that Julia told him about and she watched America's Next Top Model re-runs next to him on the bed.

Sam looked away from his book every so often, seeing that Julia's nose was still wrinkled in displeasure. From what Sam understood, it was because Dean had yelled at her on the phone after the two of them saved his ass

"You okay?" he asked her, slipping his bookmark into the book where he left off.

Julia turned her head away from the television. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. "You just seem sad."

"Oh..."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Julia's eyes stung as she practically lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Sam, you are the bestest friend ever. I don't deserve you. Seriously, I love you so much. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," Sam chuckled into her hair. "You tell me every day, J."

"You deserve to hear it every day, S," Julia declared as tears leaked from her eyes. "You're a good man."

Sam felt her body shake with her cries. "Why are you crying?"

"Cause I'm just happy to have you in my life."

"I'm happy to have you in my life, too," Sam forcefully unwrapped her arms from him and gave her an amused smile as she pulled back. "but you were choking me."

Julia frowned and gave him an apologetic look. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

The motel door opened and Dean walked into the room, carrying a couple of plastic bags. One of them was from a local Chinese restaurant, while the other two were from stores in the mall.

"Hey," Sam greeted him as he got off the bed. "Where'd you go."

"I got a peace offering," Dean proclaimed, walking over to Julia's side of the bed. "Junior, I'm sorry for everything, okay? You are my friend and you did save my ass tonight. I'm sorry I wasn't more appreciative."

Julia's lips quirked a hint.

"So," Dean pulled a Converse box from the larger of the bags in his hand. "I got you these to replace the ones that were ruined at Roy's place."

"Thanks, Dean," Julia whispered, opening the box to see the low-top white Converse. They were the exact ones she had been looking at recently. "These are great."

"And," Dean gave her the other bag, which was smaller. "This is because you've been kicking ass lately."

Julia gave him a curious look as she pulled out a small rectangle box. She gasped when she opened it to reveal her own switchblade with a design on the handle and 'Shortcake' engraved on the blade.

"Dean!" she squeaked, tears coming to her eyes again. "Thank you so much, oh my God!"

Sam grinned as Julia jumped up and pulled Dean into a tight hug, crying into his shoulder. It was already a cute situation but damn it if Sam's heart didn't melt when Dean kissed her on the forehead in return.

(Gif is not mine)

[goatsandgangsters]

Autumnal asks! Cider, harvest, spice (the correct answer for which is my old living quarters you now gaze upon out the window)

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?

pickles. used to hate them. now I’m the “eats the pickles of everyone who doesn’t want theirs” person at restaurants (back when we still went to those)

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

okay I don’t want to drag myself too hard here by giving you names. but I’m sure there’s a noticeable pattern on my blog where my favorite type of fictional character is “absolute bastard with a tough exterior and some kind of angry/cool/aloof persona, who isn’t actually as tough as they project and probably actually a dumb loser nerd on the inside (with some unaddressed pain and probably a mean dad?)” ...... like a piece of bruised fruit. a particularly surly piece of bruised fruit, with an angry face drawn on it in sharpie. and it’s mad because it’s the mean little plum that’s been left at the bottom of the plum barrel. 

which is not me in the slightest! I have a gooey marshmallow center, which pairs with my equally marshmallow exterior. and also my dad is great. but, you know! sometimes you just gotta love the bastards (the reminder that messy people are still loved) who have softness inside (the narrative catharsis when the forbidden soft spot shines through). I equally love “character you thought was slick is a loser nerd” as much as I love “character you thought was a bastard Hurts Inside” and I love when they’re the same person. angry fictional bastards have the most fun, I love them dearly, and I wanna watch ‘em break a little just to get put back together again. you know. for the emotional catharsis. the narrative tension. 

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?

of course I have, I’m from Pennsylvania, that’s why this is going under a cut because it’s about to get LONG

first of all, I DON’T REMEMBER YOU MENTIONING THAT YOUR PREVIOUS APARTMENT WAS HAUNTED. I will wave at the ghosts from my window. 

HAUNTED HOUSE: PENNSYLVANIA

But, as stated, I’m from Pennsylvania, which is Especially Haunted as far as US states go. It’s not Maine, but it’s up there. There was a ghost tour on the street that I grew up on. It was not a ghost tour for the town or for the neighborhood. No, it was a ghost tour of the street. Granted, this is the same street that once housed Washington’s troops during the Revolutionary War, so there’s a lot of ghosts accumulated. Fortunately, my house was one of the newer ones on the street (built in 1888) and it was not haunted. 

But my friend two doors down, her house was built in 1750. And it was HAUNTED! (I want to note that it wasn’t even on the ghost tour. The family was asked by ghost shows multiple times if they could film there, but the mom said no because she didn’t want to annoy the ghosts). 

I never encountered anything specific there myself, besides feeling completely uneasy in the older parts of the house (and that unease would instantly dissipate as soon as I went into new construction additions that had been put on the house). Especially late at night, the old parts just felt... bad. I once went home barefoot because I left my shoes on the other side of the house and I refused to cross the house alone in the dark to get them. 

There was something... wrong with the basement, also. I don’t remember the specifics of this, but I remember something about the shadow of a man who only appeared on the wall in December and would proceed down the stairs over the first week of December and then vanish, or something along those lines? (I’m not still in touch with the neighbor, but I texted a mutual childhood friend, who also recalled something about a man on the stairs specifically in December without my prompting). Their dad always claimed that there were Revolutionary War soldiers buried in the basement, which I don’t think was true (there are 100+ buried farther up the street though). But I never went in the basement! It was the only part of their entire house where we NEVER went! They had a repair guy in the basement once. He left. Because he got too freaked out down there. 

The mutual friend also told me she experienced weird dreams where voices told her they wanted to talk to Sarah. And she never thought anything of it, because no one named Sarah lived there. As an adult, she found out that our friend’s mom—who went by Sally and didn’t want to film ghost shows for the sake of the ghosts—was actually named Sarah. One time a bead curtain (y’know, it was the early 2000s) went absolutely WILD when no one but my neighbor was home. It may have even broken, if memory serves? 

HAUNTED HOUSE: LONG ISLAND

A house we rented one summer at the beach was definitely haunted. Nothing menacing, but similar to the above, I always felt super nervous and creeped out in the old part of the house, but would feel instantly relaxed in the newer addition. My uncle smelled pipe smoke constantly, in a family where no one smoked (nor did the owners). My dog spent that summer barking at nothing (and she was not a barker, despite being a beagle). I don’t know how old that house was, but it did have a fire once because there was an article about it framed on the wall. I don’t think anyone died though? But that house had... some vibes which were not ordeal. 

HAUNTED DORM: BOSTON

I believe I’ve told you the story of Shaft Girl, the ghost who opened my dorm room door my freshman year of college? 

So (and there are a few college people who follow me who can corroborate this story) the dorm I lived in in college was built in 1920. I don’t remember the particulars of her origin story, but the upper floors were haunted by a ghost nicknamed Shaft Girl (I thiiiiink she was supposed to have been the daughter of an architect or engineer or something, who fell down the elevator shaft and died during construction? She definitely fell from the upper floors into the elevator shaft and died, because that’s why her name was Shaft Girl). 

One time, I was watching a movie in my dorm room with two friends. One left, but I left the door unlocked in case he wanted to come back. And these were those heavy dorm room doors—the kind that does NOT stay open, they swing shut right away, and they’re generally pretty heavy and loud. So my friend and I are sitting on my bed, watching the movie. And the door opens about 45 degrees. It swings towards us, so we can’t see who’s holding the door open. But no one came in. It just... stayed open. And we go, “um.... [Friend Who Left]?” 

The door closes. We immediately get up and open it. No one is there. My dorm room was at the end of a very long hallway. And no one is in the hallway. We didn’t hear any other door open or close before we looked (remembering that these are college dorm doors, so you HEAR them), and we looked pretty quickly. There’s really nowhere anyone could have GONE that quickly or that quietly. So naturally I was freaked out, the friend stayed over because my roommate had already left for winter break, I went home in a couple of days, and I didn’t think anything more about it. 

THE NEXT YEAR—AND THANK GOD SHE WAITED UNTIL I WAS NO LONGER LIVING IN THAT ROOM TO TELL ME THIS—A FRIEND FROM THAT FLOOR TELLS ME A STORY ABOUT SOMETHING WEIRD THAT HAPPENED. Her dorm room was near mine at the end of the hall. She was coming home from class, the floor was pretty empty and quiet, and she stopped to look at the bulletin board. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a girl with long hair in a white dress standing at the end of the hallway, right in front of my dorm room (and I expressed my gender very different my freshman year of college, so that conceivably Could Have Been Me). So my friend turns to say hi to me, but no one is there. She keeps walking to the end of the hallway to return to her room and... no one is there. Again, it’s the end of the hall, and there’s nowhere anyone could go without either the loud open-and-close of a college dorm door or the emergency exist stairs that set off the alarm when opened. 

She tells me this one night. AND THE STORY OF MY DOOR OPENING BY ITSELF COMES RUSHING BACK. AND THAT WEIRD THING I NEVER THOUGHT MUCH ABOUT SUDDENLY TAKES ON NEW MEANING. BECAUSE HEY, APPARENTLY SOMEONE ELSE SAW A GHOST HANGING AROUND MY DORM AND WHO ONE TIME OPENED THE DOOR. Those are the only two particularly creepy incidents I know about with this dorm. But yeah. It freaks me out. 

HAUNTED RESTAURANT: MANHATTAN

OH AND HOW COULD I FORGET!! I was seriously about to post this without THE BEST GHOST STORY!!! How could I forget that one time @meyerlansky and I were on a date in John’s, The Historical Gangster Restaurant You All Know And Love From Boardwalk Which Was Actually Frequented By Actual Real Life Gangsters. You know, this one (and they actually sat us at that table too, which was aaAAAA). And coincidentally, it was Charlie’s birthday. I want to clarify, we did not go on a date for Charlie’s birthday—but I was home from college for Thanksgiving break and meeting up in Manhattan was the most convenient for us at the time. 

Anyway. Here we are in this historical restaurant, frequented by historical gangsters, on historical Charlie Luciano’s birthday. We talk. We eat. We pay our bill. We loiter. We talk. And then we start deliberating on whether or not we should get going. 

And very suddenly, the candle on the table goes out. It didn’t look like the oil burned out, and despite being by the door/window, it didn’t feel drafty at all. Maybe the oil did burn out, but the timing of it was impeccable. It was literally “do you want to go?” /CANDLE OUT. 

And we booked it out of there pretty fast! Because being paranoid people, our first thought in the gangster restaurant was that gangster ghosts were... threatening us or warning us or something. So we book it, we go home, and later that night, I’m recounting this story of being in the historical gangster restaurant on a historical gangster’s birthday and suddenly the candle goes out and—oh, I realize. That’s what you do on birthdays. You blow candles out. 

SO I’M NOT TRYING TO SAY THAT CHARLIE LUCIANO’S GHOST ONCE THIRD-WHEELED ONE OF OUR DATES, but like... it’s possible. And honestly, he would.