#I wanted to colour in all the important words but tumblr wont let me for some reason

[bunnycat4]

hobby ideas!

these are some fun ideas of things to do. I would like to do a little reminder at the beginning that if you want to start doing anything, or want to try something, that it doesn't mean you have to like it. you are allowed to try to pick up a hobby, but then decide it's not for you, and you don't want to do it anymore. then you can drop it! that's all cool! and that, it's something I often find, that if I'm not as good at something as people I see, I feel as though I don't deserve to do it- if that makes sense. [I think it's called imposter syndrome. unsure.] but that's not true! and we have to remind ourselves that something we do for fun needn't carry any pressure to it. there is no need to get to a certain level or certain achievement in anything if you don't want to. there aren't rules to enjoying anything! so, if you're bored or want something to do. I make a list of potential

the list starts with things I do, and then I will go through activities I may not actively participate in

of course the first thing I will say is beading. I love beading and if you don't get too excessive with it, it can be quite cheap. I use pony beads, and I like elastic string, but it isn't a necessity. you can get supplies at most dollar shops or art stores I would say. beading is my main interest/hobby, so if you have any questions I am. very enthusiastic and open :]]

review writing is also something you can do. I do it in a notebook or in Google Keep or the Notes app, but I think you can do that anywhere really. you can watch movies or shows or read books and review them on what you think, even analyse it a little if you want. or you can review products if you want. I think it's fun to do, and I pretend I'm telling someone or putting it in the newspaper.

you can also do other types of writing, like poetry or story writing. fanfiction is always an option. vignettes are also a pretty easy thing to do i think. fake news articles. honestly you can write about anything.

origami. im not the best at origami, i can only fold really simple things but all you'd need is paper. If you want to be fancy you can get patterned origami paper in different sizes, but otherwise you can cut anything into a square and fold stuff

fanart forever ✨ i draw a lot of fanart when i cant think of any original stuff to draw. just draw little guys a lot. i find it fun to imagine animal characters as more humanoid.

playing games, either board/card games [i am a board game and card game enthusiast, i would love to talk about them] or online games. it's a fun thing to do and you can get your friends/family involved, or not.

trying recipes is also a fun thing to do. I am notoriously a bad cook but that does not stop me :D I like to try recipes from magazines. This may be a more costly thing to do, check what you have in your cupboard. if you like your neighbours enough you can give them things you make to get on their good side

experiment with makeup. with a cheap eyeliner you can do quite a lot of funky things. try out different styles and shapes, follow tutorials, copy references, etc. if you have sensitive skin you may have to be choosy with what products you buy, and it may take a while to find something that doesn't irritate you. also, would recommend using makeup remover before you go to bed, or whenever you want to take it off

doing your nails. this is another expensive one, i think. nail polish costs a fair bit if you want to get different colours, but its a fun thing to do if your bored. im not sure if the chemicals in nail polish actually matters so i cannot advise on that, but i usually pick up a bottle from the health food store whenever im there.

paint anything. you could paint pictures or buy those things from art stores or bunnings that you can paint. I like painting coasters. you could also paint bottle caps and stick safety pins on the back to make little badges

make/decorate hair clips/pins/headbands. These things are pretty cheap i think, and you might be likely to have some lying around in your home. decorate by sticking stuff on them, like little toys or beads and other things you find

clay. im unsure about the actual price of clay. but you can do quite a few things with it. you can buy airdrying clay from department stores, it takes a couple of days to dry in my experience

loom bands. they are selling them again and they are pretty easy to do. you can spend days on end making them. there are many possibilities

knitting or crocheting. I can actually only french knit but i am learning to crochet. wool 👍 and whatever tools you need

journalling. I'm not sure if that counts as a hobby but i think its good. there are a few different types of journalling and you can find prompts. i have some journalling stuff from my therapist [you do not need to be mentally ill to journal. to clarify.] which i can share if anyone wants? but its fun to talk to yourself and feel more useful for it. just talk about anything

ah, another jewellery making thing. i should have organised this list better. I might redo it later. but you can make woven friendship bracelets by tying little knots and stuff in embroidery thread

you could also do embroidery with said embroidery thread. I dont really remember how to do it anymore but i could ask my friends. Yeah.

paper filigree. I tried this one time and never finished it. probably start by buying a kit. it looks pretty cool

customising clothes, if you have clothes you want to do that with. You could embroider on them or sew little cutouts of fabric on. tie-dye is also something you can do. unsure of how expensive that is.

making pom-poms! you can make them out of wool and a fork and scissors. also stick googly eyes on them to make lil soot sprites :33 which is cute. and hang them on your bags maybe

collaging, maybe. Cut up magazines and stuff, and glue

does going on walks count as a hobby? sometimes i do that when im bored. just walk to a park or a trainstation or anything nearby, or just in a circle. and talk to myself or listen to music or make up stuff about the houses around me, maybe talk to dogs/neighbours.

make flower crowns or clover crowns

make playlists! making playlists is really easy and you can make them for pretty much anything. i make playlists for incredibly specific situations and also for every month of every year. Its a greaaat way to keep track of your mental state as time goes on and ensure you dont get bored of your music. since you'll have loads of playlists. You can also make character playlists and oc playlists and playlists for everyone you know that you'd never show to them.

joining a club is definitely not a hobby but is something you can do for fun. and you get to talk to people which i know gives me a sense of achievement. and you can always drop out after one day 👍

make edits of characters, if that makes sense. like, play songs behind them and cover them in sparkles or something

colouring in, that's a good thing if you dont want to draw. you can buy a colouring book or download and print off of the internet. there are a lot of options in colouring in

gardening as well. you dont necessarily have to plant stuff, you could just weed your garden or pick flowers and put them on your dining table. or you could look after a succulent

do courses on random topics. again, may not be a hobby. but there are places you can do courses for free

reorganising things like your bookshelf, your furniture, your wall, your cupboards

on that topic, decorating your home is also something you can do! Stick things on your walls, line up things you collect. it has the benefit of making you feel more at home and express yourself. I find it calming

sewing stuff. I think this is also more costly if you want to buy patterns. buttt idk.

birdwatching or animal watching in general. you could list what you see or just observe, or even sketch/draw the creatures you find interesting or cool

is plantwatching a word? probably not. but you could walk around and see what little plants you see. and you could get little bits of plants you like and stick them in your journal or press them. you could even keep a plant journal.

nature photography, or photography in general. you could get fancy and use a fancy camera, or really just your phone is surely fine

you could make films maybe. I think that it wouldn't be too difficult to get supplies for that

that's all I've thought of for now! I might add more later, or feel free to add on if you have more ideas! remember that whatever you do, make sure to take breaks every now and again, drink water, eat, go to the bathroom, etc :))

tagging @sleepy-vix because she wanted to be tagged

[princemick-archive]

i’m not the original anon but i’d personally love to see an in-depth gif tutorial if you’re willing to do it!💜

alright lets go, its gonna be long with screenshots so its all below the tab. I hope all of this makes sense btw idk if it does I learned this all myself so I do not have the right words for it aksjbdkjb

first off I use OBS to record and Photoshop to gif but lets go

aight so first off ofc u have the video file which I just straight import into photoshop without doing anything by going

file -> import -> video frames to layers

then I use the lil thingys at the bottom to select the part I want to gif

then u wait like 6 hours because fuck photoshop and then you always need to remember to have your timeline on which you do by going

window -> timeline

otherwise you wont see the video. then it all depends on what and how I wanna gif, the video I'm using now I recorded with OBS which I know imports at 0,02 second per frame thats the lil number at the bottom of your timeline

I personally like my gifs to be pretty quick so I just add 0,01 to it so when I record w obs I almost always make it 0,03 sometimes slower if I want it to be.

sometimes a video records quicker or slower I always just play to see what I got to work with. anyway you change it by going to the three lil stripes on the side and click on the select all frames and then I change it to 0,03 otherwise u only change the one you clicked on atm

after that I change the amount of frames to what I want. most of my gifs are about 60-80 frames but it depends on if I wanna show something specific.

but for this I wanna gif 220 frames so I just use my calculator to devide it into the amount of gifs I want. for this I'll do 3 so its at about 73 frames. so I make sure I have the 73th frame selected before converting

then we go to the lil three lines again and click on convert to video timeline this time

this is what it should look like when you do that

then the first thing I do is use the little selection dragger things to to to my little marker so the selection is at 73 frames (that selection is the part you're eventually gonna export)

then I select all my layers on the layers tab, select all of those layers and convert them to smart objects by right clicking and going to convert to smart object in that tab

I do this to make the gifs smoother and so I can sharpen them. after you do that you should only have one layer and your timeline should still be able to move if you click play

then we do the actual fun part. so first things first, shape it to whatever size you want, there are like size rules for tumblr for gifs in like what way they show the best I am lazy and just do what feels right with what gif.

for this I'm making it easy and just giffing the full screen so we're just gonna grab the lil crop tool and well.. crop

then this is what it looks like rn for me if I export the gif, this works but I normally sharpen and colour to make it more aestetically pleasing and all that

so what I do at this time is open a psd I have saved with a bunch of different colouring and my watermark to make it easier for me. so I add the watermark at this point and then I start sharpening.

sharpening is a bit more detailed and its all up to your own preferences but to sharpen you make sure you have your layer of ur gif selected and then you go to

filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen

and then you just do what looks good I have two sharpening presets which look like this

and the second is this

and then I like a lil more spice in my sharpening so I also add a 'sharpen edges' which is with the name filter -> sharpen area as before

and this is what a sharpened gif looks like without colouring but I think the difference between this one and the one before is pretty big already

then the actual fun fun part COLOURINGGG. so for me I have a psd saved with a bunch of colouring that works for differents things like podiums, interviews etc, for this I obv dont have a saved psd so I'm just gonna play around with colouring

you do colouring by going to your layers all the way down and clicking on the little half moon, here you just play around and do what ever u want.

for me the first thing I do is to to 'levels' and choose what part I want black, then I fix basic lighting changes with 'color balance', after that I go into 'vibrance' and kick up the vibrance bc I love a colourful gif and then I just play around with 'selective colour'

(if ya'll wanna know how I do colouring I'd love to explain into more detail if u all want)

and then, then we go onto the shitty part the export so you go to

file -> export -> save for web (legacy)

then you see a big very probably complicated looking screen so I'm just gonna show my settings, you can play around with this if you want until its something you like but this is what I personally like the most

then at the imagine size I just change the size until the mb is small enough for tumblr.

tumblr gifs work best if its less then 5mb (you can see the mb on the bottom left, in the sc here its 17.m) so I just change the size until its up to that 5m currently its at 900 x 723 so I just change the with to 500 and its linked so its automatically gonna take the height to 402.

this is still to big eventually the size that worked was 420 x 362. then you click on save and name it whatever u want also in the end I croped the size a lil but

this is the final result.

yay lil purple mick

I hope this helped someone in how I work and for those who dont gif it made it clear how much FUCKING time it takes to make these. this took me like 30 mins so if I didnt have to type at the same time one gif takes me about 15 minutes to make and I have a pretty new and fast laptop so it can take a lot.

anyway yep, mwah hope this helped anyone have fun giffing!!

[yeoldontknow]

❧ check in tag

tagged by the sweetest angel @propinqxity to do this little tag. this is such a cute list of questions, and some of these i dont think ive been asked before. thank you so much for the tag and the tumblr crush mention lovely. you truly are a bright spot on this website and i mean that sincerely <333

going under a cut because im certain i will ramble ~

1. Why did you choose this url?

its sort of like a pun between yall dont know and the fact that, hopefully, sincerely, chanyeol does not in fact know that i run this blog lmao i changed to this after a long time of being bread-jinie and i wanted to rebrand. i will, however, do my best to never change URLs again because the masterlist switch over was a complete hassle

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them

i have a fic recs blog called @yeoldontknowiread. as to why i have it, i know it hasnt been updated in ages since ive been kind of on hiatus, but i think reading and sharing work on this platform is immensely important. i actually read quite a lot of fanfiction, and i try my best to share the things i read. im very very behind on recs at the moment cause i try my best to write something substantial for every recommendation i make. as a writer, i know exactly the kinds of thoughts and feedback on fics that make my heart soar so i try to put in the same energy to my recs. community is only fostered when there is reciprocation

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

hmmm since april 2017. i actually had my 4 year anniversary this year and i did have plans for things but i got roped into real life things and couldnt celebrate the way i truly wanted to :(

4. Do you have a queue tag?

no but sometimes i think i should. i view tags as a library on top of my knee jerk response to things. most of my tags are just my initial thoughts or feelings at any given moment, so those take precedence over a specific queue tag

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

when i was getting into exo, i was reading fanfiction like crazy. i used to write fanfic quite a lot in other fandoms, but at that time i hadnt written anything in about 2.5 years. exo was the first re-introduction to that feeling of excitement and inspiration. after about 3 weeks of straight reading, i decided i wanted to write again. i wrote the prologue to hero in about two hours and tried logging into AO3 to post it. sadly i forgot all of my log in information because it had been years, and was getting frustrated. i really wanted to put it somewhere out of fear that id lose interest if i didnt do something with it, and everything id read had been on tumblr. so i made a tumblr just to put hero lmao i didnt have any mutuals. it was a blog with straight 0. i hadnt even created an account to interact with writers before that moment, i really thought id be a silent reader forever. but exo woke me back up and for that i am eternally grateful.

6. Why did you choose your icon?

the yours music video is...so stunning? like the colour theory throughout the whole thing is truly so inspiring and gorgeous. and this shot of chanyeol looking at the painting took my breath away, truly. tulips and the color of peach, like do you know how evocative that is? ugh

7. Why did you choose your header

my header was made by @jamaisjoons for my birthday this year because shes literally the most talented person when it comes to graphics. and this was so kind of her to do, i cried a lot

8. What's your post with the most notes?

uhm....either the body through time or truth i cant remember which but i checked recently and its one of those

9. How many mutuals do you have?

honestly at this point im not even sure. i know ive lost a bunch while i was on hiatus because i was basically a dead blog, and some people do dash cleanses. and im certain others have left, too, for their own reasons. still, i have a good core of friends though who are active and that is enough for me

10. How many followers do you have?

more than i probably deserve

11. How many people do you follow?

399

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

uhm i guess? there was a time when nng was not updated and every wednesday id post the days go by music video in sadness and grief but im not a big shitposter. if i make a text post its usually a life update or me crying about chanyeol, theres no inbetween lmao

13. How often do you use Tumblr every day?

tbh i havent used tumblr that often, not since march i think. i used to use it many times a day, checking in on friends and stuff, but once i started focusing on my phd applications i was only here sporadically. i didnt make an announcement either, just let my blog run on queue so i wasnt totally gone. i think i was checking in twice a week or maybe once every two weeks to refill my queue and check mentions etc. but now that my interviews are done im trying to get back on here daily to reconnect

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

ive had my share of disagreements with people and any details about those situations shall remain as they are meant to: private

15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

in what context? like, you need to reblog this or your wish wont come true? or like, please reblog this to spread the word/spread awareness, etc? in the case for the former, i scroll right by. in the case of the latter, if im around and see someone raising a go fund me or some major event is occurring and i find a post with good sources or charities i will reblog. mostly though, the full extent my activism isnt really on this blog. its my escape from reality. my activism is usually placed on other platforms.

16. Do you like tag games?

i doooo!!! theyre so fun i love learning about my friends

17. do you like ask games?

i love those too! theyre so cute and usually a nice way to have interaction immediacy with people in the community

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

no one. can we please abandon this notion of fame on tumblr? arent we all here to write about some dick and some smut and some fluff and then hang out together and log off? lmao tumblr isnt reality and followers/fame is so arbitrary on this platform, no one has any control over any of it

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

i am in love with so many people here. let me name a few:

@yehet-me-up @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @jamaisjoons @inkedtae @kookdiaries @yoonia @dulcetvk @kithtaehyung @imdifferentshadesofpurple @ditzymax @sugaurora @sahmbtsficrecs @junghelioseok @yeojaa @augustbutwinter @joonscore @btssavedmylifeblr @cutechim @sunshinekims @kimtaehyunq @ouvuo @delhyun @exo-stentialism @sooibian @softyoongiionly @jinseunie @zibermuda @bratkook @1kook @luffles424 @xjoonchildx

and so many other people and mutuals that i am certainly forgetting. love is such an expansive feeling, and it encompasses platonic ardor and creative desire. i admire every single person listed for so many different reasons, and cherish and treasure them or what they provide to the community. love is such an important and broad experience. truly, i hope they feel adored every single day x

[nafeary]

“Therapy Session”

⚬ Pairing: No romantic pairing.

⚬ Characters: Dazai, Isaac (mentions of Arthur, MC, Leonardo, and Napoleon)

⚬ Word Count: ca. 2,5k

⚬ Warnings: mentions of anxiety/panic attacks

⚬ Genre: mostly angst, Confused Newt™️, fluffy ending

✧✎ Synopsis: Dazai refuses to open up. Isaac refuses to see people as humans instead of equations. Perhaps, the time was ripe for the residents to pull the strings behind the scene.

✧✎ A/N: @arsnovacadenza HERE IT IS!!! I haven’t written in ages, so after fending of good ‘ol writer’s block, it took a while to finish this. I hope that you will like this, sweets... I’m not usually self-conscious, but I’m just like 😣. ENJOY AND DRINK WATER!!! (I might change the mood board into a banner... I dunno man.) ALSO, pls tell me if the read more link isnt working... y’all know how bitchy tumblr is.

Dazai couldn’t remember much of his mundane life; nay, he preferred not to.

Most of this mortal coil had been spent in debauch; whoring around, neglecting his studies, committing attempt over attempt at ending his breath. He wrote it off as a tragedy, preferring to build the plots of his own stories rather that the one of his being.

Life is fleeting. For some it is akin to the joy of chasing butterflies, flower fields embedded in their sundry wings, fluttering away with no worries plaguing their minds.

For most, however, these nonchalant butterflies aren’t an omen of euphoria and felicity. They are the begetter of anguish as it sails beneath the wrong colours, maelstrom’s created by the fortune of others. Destructive. Noxious. A storm ready to destroy one’s entire motivation and spirit. Whether it be in form of capitalism or a simple shtick.

Life is unkind.

Thus, the author didn’t see the point to relieve any of his memories... but one particular scene kept his mind awake. It was fuzzy, fuming paper assaying to its destruction.

But what he could remember was a certain tale relayed to him as the moon reigned mighty, futon feather-like below his boyish body, and a tranquil voice would envelope his senses until all he could see was the palette surrounding him sponged into shadows.

He remembered the fable of a celestial guardian, a dragon so gentle it prefers flying as to not bring harm to a single organism of life. The birth of a human signified the birth of such dragon, a Kirin. It acts in protection of benignant households, as the unseen force guiding them back to morality. He was told his cousin’s birth foretold the creation of their guardian.

As a mere child, he believed these words. He believed that someone would shield him, serve as a warning sign for impending danger.

He believed someone would come to open the cage he had locked himself in. He believed someone would burn its cover, guiding him to long-lost light. He believed someone would teach him to take flight again.

He believed.

“Unlock the godforsaken door, you insolent fools!”

Sir Isaac Newton was annoyed. Horribly aggravated. Excruciatingly narked. And more so than usual. His ire had multiple fountains, one of these being these insolent fools that had chosen to bolt the room, muttering something akin to “therapy session”.

If he had to be plain, he expected such action from the frivolous author and his partner in crime (a young woman who had arrived a few months prior, the second humane addition to their otherwise monstrous community).

However, the physicist hadn’t expected Leonardo and Napoleon to agree to the couple’s notion.

Another cause fueling his irritation, like a mosquito buzzing to and fro and disregarding any clemency, was their reason for imprisoning him.

“You heard our condition, ‘ol boy,” the voice of the reformed Casanova reverberated. “Neither of you are leaving that room until you’ve talked. Thoroughly.”

That’s right. He wasn’t the only one.

His attention redirected to the owner of the lair they were currently stuck in, simpering away in his wonted manner. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that their predicament was the Japanese man’s fault.

Dazai Osamu was a pest. The neighborhood rascal ringing every door’s bell, pestering everyone’s existence with the sole motivation of garnering the final laugh. As of right now, he seemed to have succeeded in his mission.

“Are you satisfied now?” He couldn’t help the prominent sneer from forming. “If it wasn’t for your countless jests, we wouldn’t be here!”

Dazai spared him another nonchalant smile, moving to take a seat at the dark mahogany desk. “Do not fret, Ai-chan. They’ll open the door... eventually.”

A few hours had passed, and the warmth in Isaac’s chest, welted into disdain and anger, had mellowed his mind. Enough so as to admit that he might have been one of the causes of their situation, too. Frankly, it was due to the atmosphere Dazai’s room granted.

Soft and gossamer strands of alabaster light enlightened the room in a serene glow, aiding to the eminent scent of books. The smell was slightly musky, akin to aged paper, but a comfortingly nostalgic vellichor. Outside, a symphony created by Mother Nature herself resonated; tree branches rocked against each other urged by the gentle breeze as insouciant hummingbirds frolicked their sweet tunes.

It wasn’t his first time to share the author’s company in his room; on the contrary, the well of his silent animosity sprang forth from their last meeting (which had rendered him drunk on accident). Seldom at most, Isaac would traipse across a formula he just couldn’t solve, but Dazai was without compare.

He had barely asked for a sliver of information, the wish to befriend Dazai more genuine than ever. Alas, aiming to divert the topic, he had been fooled into a lull of folklore.

Hurt. It pained him to admit it, but Isaac was hurting.

With nothing else to occupy his mind, his eyes wandered to the fibster whose orbs told fables of the sun. Clad in purple, his hand was infallibly hidden beneath the fabric of his traditional (and knowing him, probably slovenly worn) garment, choosing to hide his cards just like everything else.

The empyrean galaxy of spotted crystals did not appear unlike the author; thus Isaac always found himself discovering their contrasts. He didn’t like the man, but he was a sight to behold, just like his beloved sky.

Dazai was ethereal, be it his fluid manner of dipping his feather into the abyssal ink pot, his elegant smile adorning his cheeks, or his voice carrying the voice of chiliad angels, or—

“If you continue staring at me, you’ll make me blush~”

Having been caught red-handed, the exclamation sparked an oppugnant reactions, leaving his cheeks at the mercy of scarlet apples and making him want to bury himself beneath mounds of bedsheets.

Declining the teasing and averting his head to the side , Isaac said “I suggest we pretend to have discussed our... quarrel. You know they tend to worry endlessly.”

There was a subtle shift in the nuance of Dazai’s posture, almost resembling a covered bird’s cage, waiting for its turmoil to be revealed.

“Don’t delude yourself.”

It was barely a transient whisper, lightsome yet so immensely heartsore Isaac had to halt, processing if he’d heard correctly; the uncharacteristically deafening scratching of a pen sliding across paper deepened his shock.

...this was what Arthur had meant when discussing the possibility of Dazai’s mayhem. That void in his eyes.

Quite possibly, were the physicist to reflect upon his following thoughts and actions, cruelty and manipulation reigned the battlefield in his view. Oblivious as he was, he never realized his actions to have a much purer and innocent fount, rather than for the single desire of gaining knowledge.

After all, love was more than just a unique concept to him; whether it be platonic or intimate, it had always seemed so... afar. Unreachable even. An unfamiliar ground, ruled by sweet chaos.

...it was utterly absurd! He sank his brow into the the palm of his hand. Why was he so worried for the fellow vampire? They all had issues, didn’t they? They all carried baggage from their previous life... so why did he care so much about the author’s troubles?

Isaac couldn’t possibly still want to befriend him?

...Nay, it was his insatiable thirst to solve every equation, surely. And he was a scholar with the sole purpose to solve the equation of this world, and its variables finally seemed to arrange in his favour.

Said variable being Dazai’s unforeseen display of trauma.

“You cannot possibly believe that they’d ignore your vacant spot at dinner,” Isaac started, alert in his tone. “Especially Arthur’s... whatever-she-is-to-him will succumb to her usual tendencies.”

The other vampire wasn’t smiling at him, no, his facade was an eerily empty one, unlike any of his expressions he’d laid his eyes on. Not only his smile was void, his eyes had lost their habitual mirth as well. Black holes mirrored in the pupils of his eyes.

“Besides, it’s not like you don’t enjoy our company...”

By then, the black hole kept growing, threatening to swallow him. Its intense stare prompted goosebumps to litter his skin, vulnerable. He’d never seen this sorrow portrayed by the charlatan.

To hell with it. He wanted to leave the discomfort.

“Listen, I’ll let you jest me without complain— for today. So can we please just agree to have talked?” he asked. “Or we could talk... whatever makes you happy, I suppose.” He tilted his head, closing his eyes in thought, peeking one opened as he waited for Dazai to reply.

“Go ahead without me. I’ll stay here, Ai-chan,” he declared, glee pulling at his lips as if he wouldn’t have just waddled in some unknown swamp.

“They’ll ask me questions about it, you know?”

“Very well.” Isaac’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. That was all it took for him to open up? “Dazai Osamu isn’t my real name.”

He was about to snap, irritation bubbling in his voice at the useless information he used to dodge the topic once again, but was able to stop himself. Epiphany chasing away the storm clouding his mind, he realized an important piece to solving this equation.

It was something Arthur had droned on about, one of Dazai’s works, No Longer Human. The protagonist wore a facade of hollow jocularity as he was unable to present his true self. Additionally, a piece of yourself slithers it’s way into every piece of art you create... according to Leonardo, at least.

A facade of hollow jocularity... observing the male opposing him, that phrase seemed gruesomely familiar.

“You still haven’t answered me,” he told the Author.

“Pardon?”

“I asked whether you’d be happier wit—“

“My happiness mustn’t be your concern.”

Muscles tensed as these eerie words coursed through his mind, nature’s symphony from earlier drowned out by it’s unforgiving echo. Albeit, as much as he desired to crawl someplace secluded, apart from dealing with human emotion, his mind dictated his stay.

Mustering up the courage from the depths of his heart, he spoke, “But you aren’t weak, Dazai.”

The man visibly startled, arm jerking violently into the desk, garnering a quiet foreign-sounding curse. Isaac took the opportunity to join Dazai’s side, blasé to the anxious trembling of his own lip.

“Arthur is quite familiar with your works, and I kept one particular quote in remembrance.”

The Japanese almost seemed to cower in his seat, shoulders hunched as he held his throbbing elbow.

“The weak fear happiness itself,” he recited to the best of his abilities. “As far as I’m concerned, weak doesn’t exactly describe you.”

As if he’d burned a bird cage’s linen, breaking its lock open only for the bird to panic in distrust, Dazai flew up into a stand. Eyebrows scrunching as his mouth spit bigger poems.

“How could you know? How could you possibly know of all my fears?”

Isaac’s feeling of helplessness commenced its intensity, pushing his shoulders to earth’s core. But he couldn’t stay his efforts then.

“I don’t need to. Seeing you standing before me gives me enough reason to believe so.”

“I ended my own life.”

He had to control every fiber of his being to rule his body into submission. The waltzing hairs couldn’t be precluded from showing their discomfort, however.

“Do you realize what this makes me? I’m a coward— a coward who only stands before you to— to—“

Had he finished his sentence, it would have been incoherent at best. Isaac could only watch as the author’s shoulders sacked into themselves, chest jumping in no particular pattern. His fingers snaked around the pristine fabric, just above his heart, as though he tried to confine the bird once again.

He was having a panic attack, a foe not uncommon to the physicist himself. But how could he possibly act as a cure when he was the disease?

Barely conscious of the act, his hands curled around the man’s iron grip; they struggled to enshroud the pain of his throat constricting, mutating the simple feat of breathing into a conquest of charging air puffs.

This wasn’t his domain. He’d never had to be along side a troubled person, inclined to walk the earth alone. There was no need for a circle of brethren when he had his formulas that constructed his life.

Humans were no formulas. And Dazai was no equation. His feelings were no variables. Isaac battled to come to terms with the fact that he couldn’t continue striving in solitude.

He realised that that must have been their reason for locking him inside the vicinity. The constellation of empathy coming undone before him. They’d wanted him to accept the fact that he couldn’t live like the everything could be solved in the same manner as his mathematics.

He’d show them. He’d create a formula solely for him, just as he had created multiple ones for every other problem he had encountered.

“There is a phenomenon, a mirage at the end of a horizon—“

“A-Ai-chan—,”

“Just keep quiet for one minute,” he snapped, “I know that is strenuous for someone as verbose as you, but right now, allow me to talk.”

If it was possible to solve an equation by keeping to a formula, surely it was the same for humans? But life was unique, every being disparate, an especial star.

“It distorts the objects, rendering it unrecognizable,” he elaborated. “Such phenomenon is referred to as Fata Morgana.”

He’d commit perjury were he to claim that he was calm. Forces of all kinds threatened him to collapse onto all fours, leaving him at the mercy of his lungs to commence his breathing. Yet, he kept his facade of cool determination, the fear of the man further breaking stronger than his own.

“I don’t know of all the horror you might have gone through,” he said. “But perhaps, it is distorting you to think that you are undeserving of happiness.”

“I—“

“Perhaps, you simply don’t realise that you standing here doesn’t mean you are a coward, but that you are strong.”

Before he even realised his body’s efforts, he already felt silken fabric caressing his cheek as his arms pulled him toward the other man. Choosing to ignore the charlatan’s droplets of anguish falling onto his shoulder, he shuffled his feet as he didn’t know how he should position himself.

“As such, I believe that your happiness is indeed my concern.”

He made a mental reminder to thank Leonardo for his philosophy books later, grateful for the lessons he could convey.

A rough, yet mellifluent laughter enveloped his ears, the urge to scratch where bouts of air were tickling his ear were stilled by the comforting notes.

“Who knew you were such a charmer, Ai-chan?”

His blood running a marathon across the veins of his cheeks, he drew his face nigh into the men’s chest in an effort to mask his crimson shade.

“Shut up.”

Dazai truly did believe in his guardian hitherto. Especially as the man brushed with the faintest of cherry blossom petals embosomed in his arms.

And Isaac might have been unable to teach the bird to take flight again, unqualified of the task himself, but perchance, they could aid one another to learn the art of raising yourself to face the winds, leaving them no choice but to carry you.

[mckittyarts]

hey guys sorry about the couple of days i wasn’t posting!! this thing took a little longer than i thought-- but yeah! i’ve seen other artists draw their own interpretations of all the incarnations of Links, and i finally decided to draw the versions i’ve made up together with a friend of mine all in one place! get a load of these fools

tumblr wouldn’t let me post these in rows without them getting super blurry so there’s gonna be closeups, headcanons, etc under the cut

Time (Ocarina of Time/Majora’s Mask):  - post-majora’s mask but he still has the scars from oot(dont ask me how idk either)  - Really Fucked up. Very Strange Grandpa  - despite actually having had the years to grow up this time he still acts like a kid  - idk i can’t really describe him but he’s just been through so much stress his only remaining emotion is essentially just “:)”  - he’s gone back to hyrule and is just kinda wandering around he got those two shoulder pads as a gift and they’re based off of the ones he has as a ghost  - the gauntlets are redesigned golden gauntlets only because i forgot what they looked like  - he’s missing his right eye from a wolfos and lost his finger when Ganon slapped his sword out of his hand also he has goron tattoos on his shoulders  - headcanon that he’s Zelda’s twin brother but they just never were told about it

Sky (Skyward Sword):  - he’s got Sleepy Bitch Disease  - just wants to rest...... please let him Sleep For Once  - he gets very snappy and Rude, especially when he’s tired but he’s pretty patient and sweet around people he’s fond of  - headcanon that he has some form of asthma(because in game hes like constantly gasping for air)  - after the events of his game hes just Tuckered Out and just wants to sleep for the rest of his life  - i didn’t really give him any redesigns, just let him keep his skyloft outfit  - his scars are from demise and ghirahim(jerks)

Twi (Twilight Princess):  - COUNTRY BOYYYY I LOVE YOUU  - furry boy go awooo  - amazing with animals and kids but doesn’t really cope too well in social situations because he gets Nervous  - GAY. I WONT ACCEPT ANY OTHER ANSWER  - headcanon that he’s the direct descendant of Time  - goes back to his Farming Ways after the War and just chills with the rest of Ordon village  - most of his scars are from those stupid Ghost Rats but he also has some others from Ganondorf

Wild (Breath of the Wild):  - ‘scuse me everyone certified ROWDY BOY comin through  - he seems very normal from a distance but as soon as you get close to him you will realize that you just found a Raccoon  - *sees anything* oh! yum!  - really, really loves cooking and is actually really good at it even if his ingredients come from questionable locations  - headcanon that along with every other memory he lost, he also forgot most of what was pressuring him before his Death and is now completely unhinged and will not stop for anyones social standards  - he has a couple scars from being blasted by guardians but honestly most of his other ones are because he just really loves rolling down mountainsides

Warrior (Hyrule Warriors):  - hh,,, Anxious boy :(  - he just really wants approval and he damn well deserves it  - when he first got appointed as the hero of whatever and got the master sword he was honestly starting to get a bit cocky  - but then Cia Promptly ripped all of that confidence and Rude Boy Behaviour out of him and he became :( again  - he could speak beforehand but he got an injury during the battles and is now rendered practically mute  - has a couple major scars underneath his scarf/tunic but he managed to keep his face mostly unscathed somehow

Albi (A Link Between Worlds/Tri Force Heroes):  - Shy,,,, doesnt like Attention  - honestly just wants to be left alone but since he’ss the hero of whatever people just Gave Him Too Much Love  - broke down and is now Fashionable  - sometimes likes to sew or paint  - headcanon that he’s colourblind(tritanopia)  - those little marks on his skin are little “wall cracks” from merging too often  - has a few scars but no important ones tbh

Minish (The Minish Cap):  - small and Super Mad About It  - he’s extremely quiet and only really ever talks if he’s mad or asked a question  - and even then he says as few words as he can possibly muster  - really dedicated blacksmith and is pretty good at his job despite his age  - still hangs out with Zelda a whole lot theyre still Best Friends  - the scar is from his fight with Vaati and he got an undershirt with a collar to hide it a bit because he feels a bit self conscious about it :(

Engi (Spirit Tracks):  - BABY BOY. BABY  - fuckin LOVES trains. he would Probably Die without them. still an engineer  - completely polite and sweet, calls you sir and stutters a whole lot  - also likes to fidget when he doesn’t have anything to do with his hands  - secretly completely RIPPED and could probably break you in half if he just weren’t such a sweetheart  - missing tooth from Byrne smacking him in the face with his Metal Hand and constantly has scratches but thats just cuz hes clumsy  - headcanon that he’s the grandson of Wind  - another headcanon that he can see ghosts since he was the only one who could see Zelda when she got absolutely annihilated 

Wind (The Wind Waker/Phantom Hourglass):  - SHIP AHOY BITCHES  - absolutely Stupid. goddamn Fool, complete and utter buffoon  - tends to be a bit direct and a little too honest but as i said before. complete Dumbass  - ADORES to tease and poke fun as long as no one gets hurt  - swears like a sailor and IS a sailor. Its All Connected  - has a crooked nose because SOMEONE launched him at a wall that one time. Also from that explosion that launched him into that other wall that other time  - all his little jewelry things are treasures he found along the way

Alti (A Link To The Past/Oracle of Seasons/Ages/Link’s Awakening): - oof this boi has been through So Much - just so tired of this shit.......... wants a break already - has pink hair because nintendo cant convince me otherwise and also has black roots because that’s his hair colour in the gameboy games - still misses everyone from the wind fish’s dream :( also idk know if he ever came back from the ocean tbh - honestly i know jack shit about any of his games so,,, sorry my boy

Classic (The Legend of Zelda/The Adventure of Link): - the boy who started it all!!! god i love him so - honestly don’t really know much about him either,,, and honestly i dont think there is a lot to know the classic games are pretty plotless - but i like to imagine he’s like every Good Protagonist trope but none of the other links appreciate it a whole lot - “dont worry guys i believe we can do this! :)” cut to the whole group throwing trash at him - also gave him sectoral heterochromia to match the way his eyes look in the first game’s sprites

[parkjinwoo]

hi! idk if you've already answered smth like this, but would you ever make a gif-making tutorial? i dont know where to start with gif-making >< but if not, it's totally cool! would you happen to know where i can learn how to make gifs like you? thank you!

sure! i absolutely would!! i’ll just do it under this ask haha 

so for making gifs i use photoshop ( i run cc 2017 bc it was th only free version i cld get ldsfkhsdf) and vapoursynth!

first things first: getting the video you want to gif. obviously the better the quality of the video the better the quality of gif, so when im downloading from youtube i usually use a 4k video downloader

if its  vlive i use soshistagram !!!

next step after youve downloaded your gif is to get the frame layers from the specific section that you want to gif. thats where vapousynth comes into play.

if you drag the video you downloaded into vapousynth, you choose the part within the video you want to gif, so say im remaking my last gifset id drag the video into vapoursynth put in like 00:05:40 (the starting time in the video where i wish to gif) and then like 00:00:03 (how many seconds of the video after the start i want vapoursynth to render) and then it’ll open up a tab that looks like this 

from here this is where i usually do my cropping, sharpening and denoising – i use to use topaz labs but that shit hurt my computer like it would take so long for my computer to render it it wasnt even worth it. but i mean topaz labs is pretty good so if your computer is strong enough i definitely suggest looking into it. i just cant lmao. 

okay after you choose the settings that you want (honestly the way i found my preferred settings was just by playing around w them!!), you copy and paste the coding in the white box in the right corner into the app that will open on your computer once you run vapoursynth it looks like this 

you paste the code into the section that says ‘paste here what you copied from resizer’

and if the section of the video runs longer than you wanted (like the screen changes n u just want to cut it out) you can trim it in this app as well if you go to Script > Preview and find the first frame and last frame that you want in the gif. honestly i dont usually do this, i just delete frames in photoshop bc im lazy but then it obviously takes longer to render but . again. lazy.

ANYWAYS once you’re ready to render your video, you go to Script > Encode video and another screen will pop up. make sure you change the header section from ‘no header’ to ‘Y4M’ or it wont work. n then just press start and it’ll do its thing. on my computer it saves the video to my ‘output’ folder and its always titled ‘output.mov’ so it shouldnt be hard 2 find !!

ok !!!!!! hardest part is out of the way!!!!!!! wee!!!!!

now its time for photoshop *crowd boos*

once you’ve opened photoshop, you go to File > Import > Video Frames to Layers and find the video that you got from vapousynth ! once you do that this will come up 

here you can cut down the video / limit the frames for its import. i usually limit frames only by 2 or i find it gets a lil weird, this helps a lot if your video is long and you want 2 get it all in the gif without missing parts while also staying under tumblrs gif limits (which i know have been made a lot bigger but i still try to keep mine around 3 MB). then once all thats Done just press OK n it’ll look like this !!

ok lets break this down

TIMELINE 

timeline is basically where u go to adjust the speed of your gif. if you press on the three lines on the right side and press Select All Frames then you can click on the time (in the screenshot its 0.02) and adjust it. i usually go with 0.05-0.06. but it depends. again its all up to your preferences. you can also delete frames n stuff, thats usually what i do to trim down a gif.

LAYERS SECTION OR WHATEVER ITS CALLED 

ok so these are all ur layers !!! usually i select them all and group them so its easier to manage. but this is where you’d add your colouring PSDs or text PSDs to spice up ur gif. 

at the top where it says ‘Add an adjustment’ is where you can edit the colour of your gif, you can obviously mess around and make your own psd or even go Crazy and make a new psd for every gifset. but personally, out of laziness, i just searched tumblr for gif PSDs and used the one i liked the most, and through that i adjust it depend on what i think looks best for the gif im working with. psds make the gif tbh

like the difference... the spice.... the vibrance... its beautiful. 

sometimes i use the sharpening action and in order to use the filters in photoshop you have to change it into a video timeline (see timeline section, at the left bottom corner theres that icon thingy beside where it says forever. just click that) then you select all your layers at the side and go to Filters > Convert for Smart Filters.

then you can go Sharpening and i usually use Smart Sharpen. and its again messing around until your satisfied with how the gif looks. this is my preset for it!

also through this you can blur out words in the gif (which obv u dont have to do its another preference thing i just personally prefer to do it) and once your gifs been converted for smart filters you can use the marquee tool to section off the part you want to blur and then go to Filter > Blur > Gaussain Blur and adjust the strength of the blur !

anyways. thats basically it???????? after your finished and you’re happy with how it came out go to File > Export > Save for Web (Legacy) and this will pop up 

here you can see how many MB’s your gif is to ensure you dont go over. also adjust the presets on the side, thats just how i have mine obviously you can adjust yours to however you want them !

and make sure where it says “Looping Options” it says forever, or else your gif wont loop and you’ll want 2 rip ur hair out once u realize it.

n then boom 

gif ! 

i hope this helped ???? n wasnt too confusing im rly bad at explaining things.. i also hope i didnt miss anything .. but i dont think i did. if you have any questions pls feel free to message me ill b happy 2 explain anything else im able to ^________^ !

[educxtional]

I was really struggling this week. Working way too hard, skipping breaks and meals, not staying hydrated, not showering, not taking my meds. it was bad. even at the busiest times, self-care is so so important. if I needed help, then I'm probably not the only one. all of these lil ideas are small and relatively easy and I highly doing something nice for yourself, even if it’s not on the list. hope you all have a wonderful day/week/year. 

(my personal favourites in bold)

drink some cold water

wash your hands and face with cool water

make some tea

get a blanket and snuggle it around you

snuggle an animal/stuffed animal

buy your favorite candy from the gas station

close your eyes and listen to your fav song on repeat for 10 mins

put on some throwback jams (high school musical, mamma mia, 90s, u do u) and dance around ur room in ur undies 

make a calming playlist

call a friend/relative just to say hi and hear someone else’s voice

rewatch cute/funny/happy clips from ur fav tv show/band/movie on youtube

put on a skirt and twirl (yes boys/agenders/trans u can do this too)

scribble really hard with black pen on a blank page and scream

look at the sky/moon/sunset/sunrise/stars

write

watch kitten/puppy/small animal live streams on youtube

go outside, even if its just by ur front door, and take some deep breaths

eat something - fruit, veggies are best

change ur contacts/clean ur glasses if you wear those

change your underwear

if u can't get urself to shower, wash off w a damp washcloth/baby wipe

put on a cute/comfy outfit that makes you feel good about urself

dont put eye makeup on so you can rub your eyes & they wont feel heavy

stretch, do some yoga or meditate

get a breathing/meditation app and use it (headspace is gr8)

take a nap

go to bed before 11 pm

brush your teeth

turn off bright harsh lights and use smaller, warmer lamps

unplug. give your eyes/brain a break from screens for a half hour

get one of those pet/family apps/games and care for someone else for a change

find cool people on tumblr and send them anonymous compliments (that you actually think are true - spread love)

find a quote, write it/print it nicely and stick it on ur wall

watch a new movie

boil some cinnamon sticks/vanilla bean for 5 mins so ur house smells pretty. if in ur room, use essential oil drops or candles

make your bed

vacuum 

wipe down ur desk w some disinfectant

clean something - a backpack, small area, fluff ur pillow, put away one shirt

do your makeup all pretty and nice just because/dress up just because

research into your dream job/vacation/city/whatever

open up pages/canva/photshop/etc and make something just for fun

build a fort and crawl under it

find an easy diy and do it/ be proud of ur creative genius

make a list of things that make you happy. stick it somewhere you’ll see it all the time

print a picture of someone/thing that’s pissing u off and throw things at it (tape it to a dart board if u have one)

reread a book that makes you happy

clip your nails, clean the dirt from under them

send some good old fashioned snail mail to someone u like just for fun

take some selfies if you’re feelin it (see #40)

fuzzy socks. enough said. 

make yourself a fancy meal/cocktail/coffee/tea latte/drink/whatevs

open ur window or put on a fan/air purifier. get some air circulating

draw, even if u think u suck. 

reach out to kids help phone (canada) or a suicide hotline if you need to talk to someone about more serious matters. you deserve help and care and support. (message me if you need resources)

donate to a local animal shelter (if u have the means obviously)

go for a walk/run/bike ride

put on a face mask

take a bubble path

shave ur legs and moisturize

moisturize 

bake some cookies

go on spotify/youtube and find some new music you love

make a really fun upbeat playlist for next time u get the aux cord

scroll through some wholesome or funny meme accounts. whatever you’re in the mood for. 

take some cool pictures of whatever you want

change up your room in any small ( or big) way that you can

teach urself a new skill on youtube (simple like a hair style, or complicated like an instrument, whatever u want)

sign up to volunteer at a library/homeless shelter/soup kitchen/retirement home/daycare center/etc. help those who need it. be giving. 

put on sad music and cry. let ur mascara run. be dramatic. let it out.

put rock music on and stomp and scream throw (soft) things. let it out. 

teach urself the words to a fast rap song thats cool right now so you can impress ur friends/classmates/family

print off some kid colouring pages and dont stay inside the lines

brush your hair, take it out of a ponytail if its been like that for a while, or put it up if its down and in ur way

diy a hair mask (coconut oil) and do that

exfoliate ur whole body and feel like a whole new person

clear out ur phone/laptop. delete old messages, numbers of people u dont like/hang out with, get rid of photos of shitty friends, apps u dont use, etc

find cards against humanity online (or if u have it use the cards) and play with urself - make funny matches just because

empty a drawer (or multiple) and fold ur stuff neatly

do something that will make u sweat (gym, dance, clean) then take a nice shower

take a second to listen to ur body. unclench muscles that are clenched, fix ur poster, massage/stretch tight areas

move to a different area of the house for a little while. clear ur head. 

go out, anywhere. window shop, go to a coffee shop/library and work. people watch if ur broke. 

update your planner

make Pinterest board/real life vision of things that make you happy for when in this situation again

find a youtuber you like and watch their videos

lie on the floor, listen to music and do nothing for a while

give yourself a pep talk in the mirror and then stand like superman for a few mins. sounds silly but it works. its called powerposing. look it up. 

repeating this bc important: hydrate!!!

start a new tv show

order something online so u have something to look forward to

go sit with a family member and keep them company. u dont have to talk to them. 

the app ‘trump dump’ will make u feel better about the current us political situation

read happy news: find stories of students doing something cool, women kicking ass, men being amazing, whatever. bonus points if this inspires u

sort your garbage from recycling and help the environment

smile at people you see just because. smiling is good and nice. 

look at old pictures of u and ur fav people

go through old yearbooks and take a second to appreciate how far you’ve come

go to a park and watch kids play. remember what it’s like to be young. realize you are still young. go on the swings and go as high as u can

play in a sandbox just because u still can

xo soph

[findingaliceinadarkplace]

Because I am a very bored insomniac/

1 - Who was the last person you texted? My big sister.

2 - When is your birthday? In the summer (not giving a date to remain anonymous). 

3 - Who do you want to be with right now? Would be nice to be with all of my siblings (both biological and unoficially adopted), my partner, my bestie and her partner. 

4 - What sports do you play? I really don’t to be honest, I do like to swim though. 

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts? My besties partner (its alphabetical and hes an A). 

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment? Currently really into Galway girl or Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran 

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with? My partner, bestie or big sister, I think any of them could be grounded and level headed enough to get us off the island. 

8 - What do you feel right now? Rising panic about deadlines, super tired, looking forward to visiting the zoo on monday. 

9 - What chocolate is your favorite? Cadburys. 

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have? A few, but only one serious.

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account? A friend was on it and I wanted to see what all of the hype was about, that was about 6 years ago now and I am still at it.

12 - Who is your favorite blogger? Really awful but I dont know anyone as such, I like all of the blogs that I follow but I dont pay much attention to usernames. 

13 - Where do you want to be right now? Near the sea. 

14 - What do you want to be in the future? I want to be a counsellor, 

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why? Earlier today, I had a low blood suagr and was attempting and failing to open a tin of tuna, I was crying at my failure (things which arent really tings become things when you are low). 

16 - Are you happy? Not overly, I have moments of happy, but I arent at my best right now.

17 - Who do you miss? All of my siblings, bioligcal and adopted. 

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life? Yes and no, I have a dark past which I am still trying to get over, and given the chance i would love to make myself more confident, more able to love life and not be such a pain in the ass, but my life and all of its shit has brought me to the people i know and love today and i cant escape that fact, and i love the people who i do love all the more vigorously because I had such a shitty start, so in some ways it has been a blessing as well as a curse. 

19 - What was the best thing you were given? My big sisters trust. 

20 - Who was the last person who called you? My besties partner. 

21 - What is your favorite dish? Fajitas. 

22 - Who is your bestfriend? I wont name her, but she is a beauty and she is wonderful and i love her to bits. 

23 - What is your biggest regret? Not speaking up about my abuse sooner than I did, and leaving my younger siblings/. 

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner? Never. 

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with? Partner, bestie, big sister. 

26 - Name someone pretty. My bestie. 

27 - Who was the last person you hugged? My partner. 

28 - What kind of music do you listen to? Absolutley anything, I like most things. 

29 - Are you over your past? Not even fucking close, I wish i was though/ 

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts? A dickhead who I was forced into group work with, I really need to delete his number because I’d be happy never to see the bastard again in my life. 

31 - What kind of person do you want to date? Already dating and I am happy with him, he pisses me off and gets on my nerves, but also wont take too much of my shit and can keep me in check when its needed, hes a good balance.

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night? Yes, I am up here writing answers to this thing because I am having trouble sleeping. 

33 - From whom was the last text message you received? My big sister.

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt? Jeans.

35 - How’s your heart? Hurting, broken at times and clogged up with junk food, but also kind when it wants to be. 

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”? I did a very long time ago, his name was Josh. 

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment? Yeah, I kind of like my partner. 

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend? Fucking hit us up once in a while, we all miss having you around (seriously, I am on good terms with him). 

39 - Do you have any phobias? dark, spiders, heights, snakes, men, car horns, small spaces, being trapped, the list is pretty extensive. 

40 - Did you try to change for a person? Yes, for my parents, and everytime they werent bothered and I felt like shit so i have stopped trying now. 

41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone? I wrote my bestie a full notebook full of quptes which are inspiring and hopefully make her feel stronger and then gave it to her a couple of christmasses ago, it made her cry. 

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship? Nope, I am happy with my current one/ 

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood? Neither, I am feeling pretty neurtal.

44 - Name someone you can’t live without. Partner, bestie, siblings (bio and adopted). 

45 - Describe your dream date. A carpet picnic with all my favourite foods and fizzy pop, followed by the making of a den and watching disney films while being chilled, lots of laughing. 

46 - Describe your dream wedding. Unusual, i want things which are slightly more non-traditiona. I want a tea length dress, but i also want a pair of white converse because i hate heels or anyything too girly. There have to be lights everywhere, I want to feel as though there are stars surrounding me even when i am inside. for the first dance i want it to finish with a kind of flashmob. if anybody is bored at all i will be unhappy, i want lots of laughter and people being together. The colour scheme is pink and blue, to match my engagement ring and our favourite colours.

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s? None, we dont celebrate it. 

48 - Have you ever been kissed? Lots. 

49 - How long is your longest relationship? 5 years and counting.  

50 - Do you regret your past? Some of it, not all.

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else? I have done on multiple occasions, but if it helps them it isnt stupid. 

52 - Have you ever cried over someone? lots of times. 

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone? A few people, i’d like to say i dont but i would be lying. 

54 - Are you a crybaby? At certain things, at other thing i am the most hard faced bitch in the world. 

55 - Do people praise you for your looks? My partner and bestie do at times, i think they lie though. 

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t? Once when i was younger, onlly because he was gay though and apparently i was the only person in the world who couldnt see it/. 

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret? Yeah, I said a few choice words to someone who was a horrible, nasty piece of work. I shpouldnt have done it, but i dont regret it to this day. 

58 - Do you like getting hurt? No, but from the amount i do you’d think I do. 

59 - Does anyone hate you? Probably, i tried to take my abuser to court so at the very least I imagine he and his family hate me. 

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”? Never slapped anyone. 

61 - What hair color do you prefer? I love bright colours, give me a pink or a blue anyday, I did it once before but i arent brave enough to do it again and it is a pain in the ass if you want to change colour again. 

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it? My reaction to trauma/ 

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment? yes.

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself? yes.

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school? I’m at uni, and i did up until about a month ago but theyre no longer in my life so its fine now. 

66 - Can you live without internet? Yes but it would be a struggle I imagine.

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone? We found love, Rhianna/ 

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears? Sometimes and around some people. not so much around certain others. 

69 - Are you a crybaby? Sometimes. 

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical? Most of my life/. 

71 - Are you a KPOP fan? Not overly.

72 - Do you study hard? When panic overtakes me.

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? yes, my mental health and almost sanity to protect my siblings. 

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight? yes.

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat? yes. 

76 - Did you have an accident last year? Yes, every flaming day of the year probably, i am accident prone, 

77 - What kind of person are you? Id like to think i am caring and compassionate, I am very quick witted, sarcastic and stubborn as a mule. Easily anxious, but I will do anything if i love someone enough, it takes me a long time to trust though and i am wary of poeple which might make me seem standoffish at times. 

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone? i had a really bad intrusive thought once about stabbing my abusive stepmother, but i am in control of myself so i put down the knife (it was a butter knife and wouldnt have done any harm anyway) and went into a other room and went back to finish my food later. I dont think i could deal with bbeing a murderer. 

79 - Have you ever been jealous? Not really. 

80 - How can you prove your love to someone? Be there for them always, let ythem know you wont leave them and supportthem even when they are being difficult and when thir demons dont play well with yur own/ 

81 - What are you thinking right now? How much id love to sleep.

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts? Another member from that infernal group whose number I also need to delete to have them truly removed from my life. 

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase? oh yeah, the vast majority of my childhood. 

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel? yes, so many times. 

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone? of course, but only to my bestie and that doesnt count, shes a sounding board as i am to her. 

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone? of course, I have lived over 20 years  you’re bound to argue with someone in that time. 

87 - Do you have trust issues? Massive ones. 

88 - Are you broken-hearted? Somedays/ 

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”? My partner. 

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it? Jury’s out. I have been told it is but I arent sure, and I arent sure I am really qualified to make that opinion yet. 

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? Nom i wasnt abused as a child because it 3wwas meant to be, my life isnt a fucking superhero movie, i was abused because a sick fuck abused me, there is no higher power or bigger picture to it, it was just shit. 

92 - Who do you want to marry?My partner. 

93 - Do you believe in destiny? Not really.

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”? I dont do soulmate, but I have already found the person i want to spend the rest of my life with/ 

95 - How do you look right now? Like utter shite. 

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies? yes

97 - Have you found your true love? i hope so

98 - What should you be doing right now? sleeping or studying

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.nope/ 

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough? all the fucking time.