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fluentmoviequoter · 4 months ago

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Find Another Moment

Pairing: Jim Street x fem!SWAT!reader

Summary: Through a trip to find his mom, a series of explosions and executions, and an impromptu dinner date, you realize that you need Jim Street by your side all the time. Almost as much as he needs you.

Warnings: spoilers for 2x22 "Kangaroo" and Cinque story line from s2, angst to fluff, Karen Street being a bad mom, lots of comfort and love!

Word Count: 4.2k+ words

A/N: I shocked myself by making a rewrite that isn't chock-full of verbatim lines from the show! I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!🤍

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There are very few people you rush to answer the phone for. When Jim Street calls hours after your shift ends, you nearly trip over your feet to get to the phone and talk to him.

“Street, hey,” you greet when the line connects.

“Hey, sorry for the late call,” he says. “But I, uh, I wanted to ask if maybe you could get another ride to work tomorrow? I know it’s late notice.”

“Sure. Is everything okay?”

Street sighs, and your worry and concern for him grows.

“You can talk to me, Street. You know that. But you don’t have to.”

“No, I want to,” he answers. “It’s my mom. That thing with the credit card information worked out and I got an address. Now that I know where she is, I can do something. I’m going to go check it in the morning before I head to HQ.”

“No problem. Family comes first. If you want me to come along though, just wait in the car, I can. You shouldn’t have to do this at all, but it’s really messed up that you’re having to do it alone, Jim.”

You don’t often call him by his first name, so you hope he doesn’t take it as trying to force your way into his personal life. He gets enough grief from Hondo about his mom, and the last thing you want to do is make him think you want to interfere and give your opinion, too.

“Your decision,” you add. “But I can definitely call in a favor from someone else. And my car should be back from the shop this week, so I’ll finally stop asking you to chauffeur me.”

“I don’t mind. Just… with my mom, I don’t want to make anything awkward between us if she is there.”

“Street, there’s nothing that could happen that would change how I think of you or our relationship,” you assure him. “I understand if you want to go alone, though.”

“I don’t,” Street says softly. “I really don’t.”

“Then pick me up before you go. What harm can some moral support do?”

“Thank you.”

“What friends are for.”

“No, really. I don’t think you realize just how much you’re doing for me. Thank you.”

“Goodnight, Street.”

Street sits back and sighs. You said nothing could change your relationship, but after moments like this, he wants to be the one to change it. Being friends and teammates is great, but you could be more. And, for once in his life, Street wants to do something for himself, to be happy with you without any care for what others think. If his mother doesn't scare you away, by some miracle or chance of fate, Street will tell you that he has feelings for you. Then, you get to take it from there because Street has been manipulated too many times in his life to find comfort in causing others to rush into big decisions. Especially when his heart and happiness are on the line, too.

The following morning, you wait on the curb of your usual parking spot for Street. He seems nervous as he pulls in, and you hope that the moral support you came to provide eases him. You’ve heard the horror stories about his mom but haven’t talked to her extensively like some of your other teammates. If she is here, you’ll give Street room to do his thing and then navigate the rest as he instructs. Street is special to you, and you refuse to lose him by overstepping or pushing his boundaries. He’s your friend, and you stay there because if you lose Street, you lose everything that matters.

“This is it?” you ask.

Street leans over the steering wheel to look at the old, sinking apartment complex. People wander aimlessly around the building, and clothes and furniture hang from windows. A distinct sense of doom and gloom escapes through all the cracks and crevices, showing the building's age and lack of care.

“Come in with me?” Street requests. “Please?”

You nod as you open the door. As you walk toward Street, you have to step over broken beer bottles, cigarette butts, and empty nos canisters. At his side, you smile, trying to remind Street that you’re with him, no matter what.

Inside, you follow Street up a staircase lined with trash. The hallway at the top is dark and dirty, and the cheap laminate floor is peeling from the corners. No one deserves to live like this, you think as you notice someone sitting at the end of the hall, rocking back and forth.

Street slows beside an open door, and you stop as he pushes it open further. Music plays inside, and Street looks over his shoulder at you and nods once.

“Good luck,” you whisper. “I’m right here.”

You watch Street step inside, then turn slightly to see inside the apartment. It’s trashed and nearly unlivable, but Karen Street is sitting on the floor and laughing at an old cartoon. Your eyes move to Street as he tries to get her attention. A sound down the hall draws your attention momentarily, but you turn back quickly when Street asks who someone is.

“Bryce,” the unseen man answers.

“So, you leave the apartment and disappear for weeks without a word and starting using again ‘cause you chose this guy?” Street asks.

“Name ain’t ‘this guy,’ it’s Bryce,” Bryce says. “And you need to go.”

You can see Street, but not Bryce from your position in the hallway. When Street stands quickly, you step inside and watch as he shoves the man against the fridge.

“Okay,” Bryce pants.

“Hey, stop it,” Karen calls as she stands. “Stop it, stop it! Eddie, baby, please.”

While Bryce asks who Eddie is, you debate whether you should walk back into the hallway or try to help Street. When Karen hugs Street while talking to his father, you wait. You step toward him as he shoves his mom back.

“Oh, Jimmy,” Karen says when she realizes it's Street and not her husband. She pulls her robe closed and murmurs, “I’m gonna… straighten things up.”

She moves toward the kitchen, and you follow her, nodding at Street. You gently place your arm before Karen and smile when she turns toward you.

“Hey, Mrs. Street,” you greet softly. “I can straighten up for you, but why don’t we go somewhere else for now?”

“What’s she on?” Jim asks behind you.

“We took a mix,” Bryce answers. “A mix of a lot of things.”

“Maybe we could go get breakfast,” you suggest. “Wouldn’t you like some time with Jim?”

Karen nods and turns toward Street. “I can make waffles,” she offers. “I might have to go to the store though.”

“I don’t want waffles, Ma,” Street answers.

Street grabs a blanket from the table and drapes it over his mom’s shoulders. “I’m taking her home,” he says as he places his hand on her back. “Bryce.”

You follow Jim and Karen for a few steps, then stop. “Bryce,” you call. “If I find out that the mix of a lot of things was your creation, I’ll be back.”

“It wasn’t!” he yells after you.

You wave your hand over your shoulder as you exit, leaving the door open behind you. When you catch up with Street, he’s almost back to his car.

“You take her home, I can call someone,” you offer.

“I’ll drop you off. Tell Hondo I’ll be late?” he replies.

“Sure.” Street closes the car door, and you catch his wrist as you ask, “Are you okay?”

He shrugs, and you nod in understanding. You squeeze his hand gently, then release him to get in the car. Street means more to you than he’ll ever know, and you’ll do everything you can, even covering for him to Hondo, to be here for him.

“Street, it’s me,” you say to the voicemail. “Hondo knows you’re running late, but I didn’t tell him anything specific. I’m going to the courthouse with Cortez. Um… if you need anything, let me know.”

After you hang up, you exit the car and meet Jessica on the sidewalk. She knows who you called, you’re sure of it, but you’re hoping that she won’t try to meddle or give you advice. The walk into the courthouse is a comfortable silence, which you’re grateful for. As you sit, Jessica speaks to the reporter on her other side, but you keep your eyes on the defendants before you. When they stand suddenly and begin chanting, you roll your eyes. They’ve been saying the same thing since they were arrested.

“The time to be good to each other has passed,” they add. “The system will be burned to ashes, starting with this courthouse.”

You look at Jessica as you lean forward.

“That’s new,” she says.

Outside the courthouse, people begin yelling, and you don’t hesitate to stand and walk toward the door. Jessica follows behind you, and when you enter the hallway to see Cinque on the screen, you stop in your tracks.

“Cinque,” Jessica says. “He must have hacked the feed.”

She raises her phone to film the live video, but you listen to Cinque rather than focus on who is with him or where he is. Hondo and the rest of your team will be watching back at HQ, but if you can help, you want to be prepared.

“So,” Cinque continues, “this time we don’t want money and we don’t want to bargain. We’re going to burn the system down and rebuild on its ashes.”

Cinque raises a phone and presses the screen. Several cars outside the courthouse explode, and you duck down as the people around you scream. Jessica pulls her gun and instructs people to move farther into the courthouse. You stay beside her and fight every instinct to run out and help the people closest to the explosion.

“Cortez, this isn’t over,” you say over the chaos behind you.

Jessica holsters her gun and pulls her phone out of her pocket. “He’s going to sentence a politician on live television every hour,” she tells you. “He’s just getting started.”

“That was the 4th Street bridge, but he’ll move. You need my team.”

Your phone rings before Jessica can respond. Street’s name on the screen is the best thing you’ve seen all day, you think as you answer the call.

“Street,” you greet when the call connects.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine. Cortez is good, too. No casualties here. How are things there?”

“Hectic. When are you coming back?”

“When am I coming back?” you repeat, looking at Jessica. She shrugs, it’s your decision. “I’m not. I’m going to stay with Cortez and keep an eye on everything here.”

“Be careful,” Street implores. “Keep me updated.”

“You, too.”

“Councilman Strub’s body, hanging from the 4th Street bridge, it seems familiar.”

“Figure it out, Street, we both know you can.”

“I have to tell Hondo all is good there.”

“I’ll see you later, Street. I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Less than an hour later, you’re still at the courthouse when Cinque executes another politician. You don’t watch this time, but you text Street to be careful immediately after the broadcast ends.

Back at HQ, Hicks tells Street, “Get the rest of your team and go grab Cinque!”

“The rest of my team isn’t here,” Street mumbles as he and Deacon exit the situation room.

“I know you’re worried about her,” Deacon says, “but she’s okay. If we want to get her back here safely, we have to stay focused, Street.”

Deacon joins Luca as Street calls for Chris and Tan to visit the location of Cinque’s last IP address. As he works, Street realizes that Deacon is right and wrong at the same time. He doesn’t just want you back to be part of the team, Jim Street wants you by his side all the time. Having you at his side, as a teammate, when things are bad, is great, but that’s not all he wants. He needs more.

After successfully saving Councilman Washington, 20 Squad is surprised to see Jessica back at HQ. Street, however, only looks for you.

“She’s still at the courthouse, waiting for things to settle there,” she tells Street. “Deputies didn’t mind the help.”

Street nods and watches Jessica walk to her office with Hondo. He’s glad you’re okay and safe, but he’d prefer to see you in person. You stepped up this morning to help him with his mom, and now, Street isn’t sure when he’ll see you again.

“We need to find Cinque,” he tells Luca.

“For personal reasons or the public’s safety?” Luca asks knowingly.

“Why not both?”

Your phone rings during a conversation with a bailiff. Jessica’s name on the caller ID makes you answer it before you even excuse yourself.

“Cortez, hey,” you greet. “Everything okay?”

“It will be. Cinque is in custody, and Deacon and Hondo are reviewing all the intel we have to find the last Emancipator. I need you to join me at City Hall, if everything is under control at the courthouse?”

“As under control as it can be. They’re understandably freaked about the explosions and the live broadcasts, but they can spare me. I’ll be there in twenty. Do you think we’ll actually find anything or have to wait for another lead?” you ask as you exit the courthouse.

“I wish I had an answer for you.”

Before you leave for City Hall, you text Street to let him know where you’re going. You hesitate over the ‘Send’ button, then add, I’ll see you soon. It’s a promise.

“Find anything?” Street asks as he enters the situation room.

“There’s a live press conference at City Hall, we think it’s the next Emancipator target,” Hondo answers. “Cinque’s been planning all of this for a while. Was there anything going on at City Hall in the last year?”

“Let me see,” Deacon murmurs. After a quick search, he pulls up a record and photos. “They installed new security cameras four months ago, and the installation crew had to scan IDs to gain access to the building. And that work crew sure looks like our Emancipators on trial.”

“They used the installation job to plant explosives inside City Hall,” Hondo realizes.

Street’s phone buzzes, and he continues listening to Hondo as he reads your message and rereads it.

“Cinque likes an audience. Now he’s got one on live TV,” Hondo adds.

“Tell Cortez,” Deacon urges.

“She’s not the only one there,” Street says, looking up from his phone. “They’re both in a death trap.”

“Call her,” Hondo commands as he raises his phone to his ear. “We need everyone out without raising flags.”

Standing in the crowd at City Hall, you watch as Cortez turns to the side and answers her phone. Your phone begins buzzing immediately after, and you step back to answer the call from Street.

“The Emancipators are planning to blow up City Hall,” Street says, skipping his usual greeting. “Hondo wants everyone out.”

“Got it,” you answer.

“No, hey, listen to me. You get out of there.”

“Street, I will.”

“Don’t wait, just get out of there and come back here. Okay?”

“I’ll be back soon, Street. I promised, didn’t I?”

Now, you just have to keep that promise.

Back at HQ, Hondo preps 20 Squad, and they roll out in Black Betty less than five minutes later. In his seat, Street forces himself to pay attention to Hondo. If he doesn’t focus on his job, his mind will run rampant and make him think of everything that could happen to you.

When people begin exiting City Hall, the final Emancipator detonates one of the explosives hidden inside. You’ve strayed from Hicks and Cortez to make sure everyone gets out safely, and when the building shakes and the first explosion echoes through the halls, you cover your head.

“Go, get out of here!” you yell to a man in the same hall.

The explosion sounded like it was on the two-side of the building. Though you know the sound may have been distributed oddly and you could be wrong, you begin moving that way. Street told you to leave, but you’re this close; you can’t sit back and do nothing.

“Go,” you call as you run past civilians exiting doors off the hallway.

You near the two-side as the explosions continue, ranging in speed and location. Without communications with your team, you have no idea if the bomber is even in the building. Or anyone else, for that matter.

“22-David, Chris got the bomber,” Luca alerts.

“30-David to D-Team. Status,” Deacon requests.

“26-David, clear,” Street answers.

“25-David, clear,” Tan adds.

“20-David, all clear,” Hondo reports after a moment. “And I’ve got Cortez.”

“Just Cortez?” Street asks.

Street doesn’t wait for an answer before he rips his phone from his pocket and calls you. You don't answer, and Street runs toward one of the only standing entrances. As he enters the falling building, he yells your name, screams through the dust, ignores the burning in his eyes and throat, and climbs over the rubble.

“Talk to me!” he yells, feeling ready to collapse. Leaning against a pile of debris, Street yells your name once more.

Each explosion disorients you more. Between the dust, the noise, and how the closer explosions throw off your balance, you lose sight of the exterior wall and your escape. Instead, you focus on moving forward and keeping your hope of finding any door.

Someone yells in the distance, but you can’t decipher where they are. Everything is muffled, and your steps are growing slow and heavy in your oncoming lethargy.

“Street,” you whisper, reaching for your phone before remembering you dropped it while running past a falling pillar.

Your eyes flutter closed as you lean against a wall. Investigators will be inside soon, so you rest amongst the wreckage and consider simply waiting for them. Until someone yells your name, that is.

“Street?” you ask without opening your eyes. You try to imagine the voice in your head again, and the simple thought of Jim Street gives you the strength to stand. “Street!” you yell. You’re interrupted by a cough, but you call for him again and hope you aren’t imagining his presence.

“What can you see?” Street yells.

He sounds closer now, and you smile as you reply, “Dust!”

“Cute,” Street says, his voice quieter but clear.

You turn to the side, and your eyes widen when you see him. Street steps to you and pulls you against his chest, hugging you tightly. He cradles your head against his chest for a moment before he pulls back and lays a hand against your cheek to look at your face.

“Let’s get out of here,” he suggests. “You feel okay?”

You nod and agree, leaning against Street as he follows Luca’s radioed directions to a clear exit. In the light of day, you can see that you and Street are both covered in dust, but there’s no one else you’d rather have beside you for support. You like having him by your side, you realize, and you wouldn’t mind staying at his side even when you’re off-duty.

“Thank goodness,” Street sighs. “I thought I’d forgotten what you looked like without all the City Hall powder on you.”

“You stare at her enough it should be burned into your mind,” Luca teases as he waves at you. “Have a good one.”

“You too, Luca,” you call.

“You want to come over?” Street offers, pulling his backpack onto his shoulder. “I can make you dinner.”

You smile as you close your locker. “I really want to, Street. But isn’t your mom at your place right now? Don’t you need to spend time with her, before, you know?”

“Is that the only reason you’re saying no?”

“I didn’t say no,” you argue with a smile. “I don’t want to intrude, though.”

“Come with me,” Street repeats, offering his hand.

You lay your palm over his, and you know you are home. Your place has always been by Jim Street, and you’re finally seeing that.

“Go ahead,” you murmur at Street’s door. “I’ll either be here to take you to my place or I’ll come in later.”

Street nods and squeezes your fingers gently. As he enters his apartment, he sighs. “Hey,” he tells his mom.

“How was work?” she asks.

“It was good,” Street lies. You were in danger, it was terrible, but his mom has enough to deal with already. Not that he would have told her the truth anyway. “How you feeling, Mom?”

“My headache’s cleared away, so… Thank you so much for coming and getting me. Uh, thank your friend, too. You okay?”

Street doesn’t answer, his eyes straying to the door, where you’re waiting to be everything he needs and more. Not because you have to or feel some obligation or twisted sense of responsibility for him, but because you want to.

“I’m so sorry, Jimmy, that you had to see me like that,” Karen continues. “Sometimes your mom’s just pretty sick.”

The door opens, and Street doesn’t turn around because he knows it isn’t you.

“Mrs. Street,” Karen’s parole officer says, “I have to remand you back into state custody for parole violations. You missed several check-in appointments and were found under the influence or narcotics.”

“You reported me?” Karen asks Street.

“So that you can get treatment, get better,” Street explains.

“I can’t go back to jail. Jimmy, I can’t go back to prison, I can’t. After all I’ve been through and all I’ve done for you, you’re sending me back? What kind of son would do this to his mother?”

“The kind that doesn’t want you to die.”

You watch as Karen is led out of Street’s apartment. With her back to you, she never sees you, but you heard everything. The door is still open, but you knock regardless as you step into Street’s home. His eyes are on the floor until you enter, and then he looks up with sadness evident on his face. Jim Street has never been one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but with you, he’d rip it out of his chest and place it in your loving hands without second-guessing that you’d treat it better than he ever could.

“Jim,” you say softly. “I’m so sorry.”

Street gently grabs your left wrist, closing his fingers around your skin and feeling your pulse thump beneath his touch. With his other hand, he pushes the door closed. When you step closer to him, Street pulls you into his arms and drops his head to your shoulder. Carefully, you move your hands to rub between his shoulders while gently brushing through his short hair.

“You did the right thing,” you promise him. “You love her. Even if she can’t see it, you did the right thing.”

Street’s arms tighten around your waist, and you close your eyes as you hold him.

“What do you want for dinner?” Street asks against your shirt.

You chuckle at his sudden change of subject, but neither you nor Street move. The comfort, the peace, the love you feel at every point of connection you have with Street is better than anything you’ve ever felt or will ever feel in the future.

“What if we order from your favorite place?” you suggest.

“Why?” Street mumbles, his hands clutching the back of your shirt.

“Uh, because you like it.”

“No, I mean, why stay with me, be here for all of this?”

You gently push Street back to look into his eyes. With your hands on either side of his face, you smile and answer, “Because I want to be. Right here is the best place I’ve ever been.”

Street smiles, his dimples appearing beneath your thumbs at your honesty. With his hands at your side, Street leans his forehead against yours and sighs.

“I really am hungry,” he admits.

“I thought we were having a moment,” you tease, brushing your thumbs over his dimples.

As you look into Street’s eyes, you desperately want to kiss him. After everything that’s happened, you don’t want to make him uncomfortable or force him into something he isn’t ready for yet. So, you wait.

“You didn’t listen to me. When I told you to get out of City Hall… you were all I could think about and when we realized what Cinque’s crew was doing, I realized that I need you, all the time,” Street confesses.

“I thought you were hungry,” you whisper.

“You can’t have it both ways,” Street replies happily. “Unless you want it both ways, and then I’ll find a way to make it work.”

“I want you, Street,” you say. “Now and forever, I want nothing but you.”

“Even with all the drama?”

“And the trauma,” you affirm with a nod. “We all have pasts and baggage, Street.”

“Would kissing you immediately after sending my mom back to jail be weird?”

“Now that you’ve pointed it out, yes, it would.” You step back and suggest, “Dinner and then we try to find another moment?”

“Only if you’re in it,” Street answers.

#jim street x fem!reader #jim street x reader #jim street fluff #jim street fic #jim street imagine #jim street #swat cbs #fem!reader #hanna writes✯#swat x reader #swat #the comfort Street deserves

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miasmaghoul · 1 year ago

Note

May we get some Dew fluff or comfort, he may just want snuggles, maybe he had a nightmare and wants comfort? -🌱

A little softness for Mountain Monday, perhaps?

(Dew is still here, don't worry!)

Another night. Another city. Another unfamiliar ceiling.

Mountain stares at it without really seeing it, flexing sore fingers and shifting on too-starched sheets. Listening to the hum of the air conditioner and the dull, creaking drone of pipes. Swiss has been in the shower for ages now, always one to abuse the bottomless hot water that hotel stays provide.

The tour has been brutal so far - the festival circuit always is - and the exhaustion runs bone deep. There are only three shows left before they pack up for home, and Mountain would be lying if he said he wasn't looking forward to the break. Life on the road isn't bad by any means, but it does wear on a ghoul after a while.

He misses the things they all miss - his own bed, coffee that isn't from a gas station, the relative peace of the abbey. Misses the scent of the rose gardens and the feel of grass beneath his feet. Misses the comfort of his element the way the ghouls always do when they're stuck in glamour for weeks or months at a time. That's half the reason Swiss is busy boiling himself alive, trying to satisfy the fire inside him that demands the heat. Rain is probably doing something similar, submerged to his nose in a tepid bath until he's wrinkly as a prune.

Mountain wishes his element was so easy to access. He hasn't so much as seen a tree in three days.

A soft sound drags Mountain from his wandering thoughts. At first he thinks it's Swiss, thinks it's the movement of shampoo bottles. It takes a minute to identify the sound as the gentle rap knuckles on something solid, a light knock, and he blinks at the ceiling. It repeats after a moment and Mountain pushes himself up with a groan, his aching back protesting the movement as he pads to the door on sluggish feet.

He sees steam pouring out from under the bathroom door as he passes it, catches a whiff of herbal soap. He can hear Swiss singing under the sound of the spray as he crosses the room. It makes him smile.

Mountain yawns as he unlocks the door, scratching at his chest. He doesn't know what time it is, but they were late getting to the hotel and it's been hours since then. It's late, is the point, and there's no one he's expecting.

Least of all Dewdrop, baggy eyed and swaying in place in a shirt that's far too large for him and a pair of ancient flannel pants.

"Droplet?" Dew gives him a tired blink, hugging his own chest.

"Hey Mount," he murmurs, voice thick. Strained. "Did I wake you?"

"Hmm? No, no," Mountain assures him, taking in the deep creases lining Dew's face. His own brow furrows. "You okay, Dew?" The little ghoul sighs, rubbing at his eyes.

"Tired," he huffs, as though that much isn't painfully obvious. "Really fuckin' tired."

"Yeah, I can tell," Mountain chuckles, and Dew chuffs out his own laugh. He's not upset, then. Just wiped out. "Same here." He yawns again and Dew gives him a sympathetic hum.

"Think we all are." Dew mirrors his yawn, contagious as the things are. Then, "Can I come in?" Mountain blinks down at him. He sounds...shy.

"Sure, of course," he mutters, stepping inside and gesturing for Dew to follow. "Swiss is in the shower, I have plenty of room."

Dew groans low in his chest, shuffling inside and perching himself at the edge of the bed Mountain had been occupying. He sits like a gargoyle, knees pulled to his chest so he can tuck them under that ridiculously oversized shirt. Mountain is certain that if he pressed his nose to the fabric, it would smell like Aether.

"What's going on?" Mountain locks up again and strides back to the bed, plopping himself right next to the little ghoul. Watching him pick at a cuticle. He rests a hand on Dew's little foot, brushing over soft skin with a callused thumb. "I can tell something's on your mind."

"'s it that obvious?" Dew rests his chin on his knees and exhales through his nose. He gives Mountain a half shrug. "It's nothin' big."

"Something small is still something," he replies, moving that soothing hand to Dew's back instead. Rubbing slow circles into soft cotton. He's close enough that it's easy for Dew to lean into him, pressing his small frame to Mountain's side.

They sit in silence after that, the quiet only broken by Swiss's raspy voice and the soft splash of water. Dew's so warm against him, even in his glamour. It seeps into Mountain's bones, forcing relaxation into tense muscle. If he could, he'd purr with it.

At length, Dew speaks.

"Think I'm just...lonely, I guess." The tone makes it sound like he's not convinced. Like it's not quite the right word for how he's feeling. Mountain understands it - loneliness is a weird thing to feel when you're constantly surrounded. "I know it sounds stupid, but -"

"No it doesn't," Mountain tells him, voice low. He wraps an arm around Dew's shoulders, tucking the little ghoul's head under his chin. "I get it. How can I help?"

Dew answers by burying his face in Mountain's neck and wrapping those skinny arms around his chest. It's an awkward angle at best, but neither of them seems to care. The closeness is what matters.

"You wanna stay here tonight, fireball?"

Dew nods against his shoulder, nuzzling closer.

"'s that okay? I got roomed with Cir and you know how she is."

Mountain certainly does. Cirrus is a creature of habit on the road, refusing to share her bed or break her evening routine of peppermint tea and a strict 9pm bedtime. If Dew needs contact, he wouldn't get it from her. Not tonight.

"Course," Mountain buries his nose in Dew's hair, inhaling the scent of cheap shampoo and a hint of woodsmoke. "Whatever you need."

Dew sighs, his shoulders relax, and Mountain scoops him up like he weighs nothing. Carries him the few feet around the bed to settle the little ghoul against the pile of pillows at its head. Dew scooches under the covers without prompting, curling up on his side and shooting a questioning glance over his shoulder. Mountain answers it with a smile, crawling in after him and molding himself to Dew's back as he tugs the covers over the pair of them. Dew gives him a pleased hum, pawing at his arm until Mountain wraps it around his waist, pressing his palm to the center of the little ghoul's chest. Dew laces their fingers together, and Mountain can't help his fond smile.

"'m glad you're here," Dew mumbles, already sounding half asleep. He snuggles further under the covers, pressing his face deeper into his pillow. Mountain gives his a squeeze and drops a quick kiss into his hair.

"Me too, droplet."

Dew's snoring in no time, and Mountain knows he won't be far behind. That little body is so very warm against him, so familiar. He can feel the strain threaded through his body melting away with each passing moment.

Distantly, he's aware of a door opening. Of a change in lighting and a soft laugh. Of a large hand ruffling his hair.

"Mind if I join?"

Mountain hums, nods, and soon after the mattress dips. In the low light of the room he watches Swiss climb into the other side of the bed. Watches him settle between the sheets and pick up Dew's limp arm, tugging it over his own waist. Watches him press a soft kiss to the little ghoul's forehead with a gentle smile. He reaches over to stroke Mountain's cheek with his knuckles, and Mountain presses a kiss to his palm.

It's the last thing he does before sleep takes hold, and as it does, Mountain almost feels like he's home again.

For now, it's close enough.

#miasma's work #the band ghost ficlets #mountain ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #swiss ghoul #mountain monday #this is about as fluffy as i can get lmao

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kairiscorner · 1 year ago

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Gonna request 🔥🔥🔥 (don't do this if you don't want to or if someone else requested this before)

So, HCs Spider-Noir with a sensitive (or just cries easily) s/o

like, they make small mistakes but they feel really bad about it, crying when they feel pressured, feeling pressured easily (like, when playing a game of teams and they feel nervous because they don't want to make the team fail for their fault), crying easily when someone is mean to them, feeling bad with jokes towards them even if it isn't serious (an example is that one time my sister told as a joke that she hated me and I cried) and etc.

(This is based of me, one time I cried because I accidentally bought a more cheap soda when I had more money for a bigger soda)

HIII wait that's also like me what.......... like man, i am so easy to overwhelm, i'm sorry you feel that way sometimes too ;-; but know this, if you wanna cry, fucking cry if you have to. it's free and it feels good, but also feels bad, but in the end, you'll feel way better than you would if you held the urge in. i hope you like this and always remember your feelings are valid 🫶🫶🫶

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

noir x sensitive!gn!reader headcanons

it hurts noir when you beat yourself up over small mistakes, and seeing and hearing you cry about it aches his heart tbh :( he wants to tell you so badly he loves that you're trying even if it looks hard and that you don't have to be the best at everything or get that many people to like you because you're perfect already the way you are.

he feels so bad when you start to overthink, but for every bad or negative thought you have of yourself, he has an honest to goodness truth to counter them. thinking you're disappointing your whole team if you do badly? well, you aren't the only member, you won't be the cause of their failure. you're worried other people won't like you if you make an impulsive decision because they're rushing you? well, he likes you and wants what's best for you, think it over, he'll deal with those people rushing you to make a decision.

if you're okay with it, noir would pat your back or head, hold your hand, wrap his arm around your shoulders or waist and just hold you to calm you down. he feels over your knuckles and the back of your hand when he does that, it's kind of his way to assure you everything will be alright, you have time, you don't need to do things too quickly, don't feel bad that you have needs, and of course you have wants that might not be what everyone else wants--and that's okay.

he doesn't get mad when you cry over a mean joke, he himself gets pissed off when other people think you're easy to fool or too sensitive or a crybaby when you cry about it. he would not hesitate to beat the shit out of whoever messed with you, but of course, he'd reason with them first. if words don't get through them, you know his fists will be.

but honestly, those people don't matter to him, because all that matters to him is you being okay. he doesn't want you to dwell too much on the bad things they did to you, so he tries to help you get past it, help you forget it and distract you if need be. he reminds you that your crying is valid, not everyone likes mean jokes, and you just happened to be one of those people.

"love, it's okay to cry about it. they didn't know you didn't like that, and they'd better learn that you don't... but your crying is valid, if they say otherwise, i'm beating their jaws in."

overall, noir just wants to be there for you and be the shoulder you cry on. he understands you're not the toughest person out there, but you're strong enough to admit to your vulnerabilities; and noir definitely looks up to you for that. he's here to provide you both all the comfort and space you might need, just say the word, he'll do any and everything he has to to keep you happy and wipe those tears from your eyes.

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @sabcandoit @binibinileonara @k4tsu3 @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @thee-fantastic-mrfox @fiannee @arachnoia @ophanimgold @fictarian @yuridopted0

#spider noir #spider noir x reader #spider noir x you #spider noir x y/n #spider noir fluff #atsv #atsv fluff #atsv imagines #atsv x reader #atsv x you #atsv x y/n #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse x reader #spiderman across the spiderverse fluff

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brothermouse · 2 years ago

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Why Queer Latter-day Saints Don't Like Oaks

So, I keep seeing some variation of the question "Why don't Queer Latter-day Saints like President Oaks." I want to try and give an answer beyond the usual "isn't it obvious?"

In order for the physical human body to survive it needs both food and water. Without one or the other, you die. Our spiritual bodies have two basic similar needs: The Law and Mercy.

The Law is basically a moral code of conduct. This is good, that is bad. Do this, don't do that. This is right, that is wrong. The Law provides much needed structure and clarity to an otherwise chaotic world.

But, because the mere act of existing is hard, The Law is often difficult to keep. If we were fully honest with ourselves we would each admit that we break The Law all the time. That’s where Mercy comes in. Mercy says that it’s okay to keep trying. Mercy assures us that failure is not final. That you can do the wrong thing but still end up being a good person. Mercy is basically the motivator for us to stick with The Law.

Now, if you know literally anything about President Oaks, you can probably deduce that he’s a big Law guy. That’s fine, lots of people like structure. Nothing wrong with wanting rules and order and nothing wrong with asking people to follow the rules. The Law is like food, if you don’t eat you die. The Law is ESSENTIAL to our spiritual health.

But here’s the thing about Queer Latter-day Saints: we are (to put it mildly) familiar with The Law. I would be surprised if you met a Queer Saint who is ignorant of The Law. We are, on that front, very well fed.

What we need is the water of Mercy.

It’s like this: imagine you’re in the desert. You have a backpack full of beef jerky but no water. Then you come across a settlement by an oasis. One of the leaders of the settlement comes out to meet you. He sees you sunburnt skin and chapped lips. He proudly says, “ I know what you need!” Then he presents you with a grilled cheese sandwich.

You try and tell him, “Actually, I’m good on food, my pack is full of it, what I could really use is some water.”

He smiles, nods and says, “Yes, I understand what you need!” and he produces…another grilled cheese sandwich.

So you decide to compromise a little. “Thank you for the sandwich,” you say, “do you think I could have some soup to go with it?”

“Oh, yes, soup, of course! Here you are!” he says, and then hands you yet another grilled cheese sandwich.

Now you’re getting frustrated. Sure the sandwiches are well made with high quality ingredients. The man obviously knows how to make them. “Yes, thank you! These are very delicious, but now I'm a little parched. Could I please have a glass of water?”

“How about another sandwich, instead?”

"No," you say, "I don't need a sandwich, I need WATER, I'm dehydrated!"

"I'm sorry to hear that, may I offer you a grilled cheese sandwich during this trying time?"

This is why Queer Saints get so frustrated with Oaks. We NEED the waters of Mercy, we CRAVE a drink from the well of living water. We LOVE to hear about the atonement and of Christ’s love of us. But Oaks just keeps handing us grilled cheese sandwiches.

This is particularly frustrating because we KNOW there is no shortage of cool, refreshing living water in the Church. We have received sweet servings of it from so many in our wards and families. What we don’t understand is why one who is charged with bringing all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people to drink would be so stingy with it.

Some will probably say something like, “When the prophets repeat a commandment, it’s probably because the people need to shape up and follow it.”

To that I say, We do follow it.

So many Queer Saints are following the commandments Oaks repeats. His grilled cheese sandwiches are not going uneaten. But for many, our throats get too dry to choke down another one. WE NEED WATER. As I said before, Mercy is what motivates us to keep The Law. Mercy is what gets us back up when we fail to keep The Law. Mercy is what gives us the strength to try again.

We dislike Oaks because everytime we try to be yoked with Christ, Oaks calls us back to the Law of Moses. We WANT to live the higher law. We WANT to be one with Christ. We tell him this, over and over. We tell him what we need. And each time he tries to give us the same grilled cheese sandwich.

Again, We know the law. We know what’s expected of us. What we need is the good news of the Gospel to inspire us to be strong.

Nevertheless, parched as we are, I see Queer Saints eagerly awaiting the day when Oaks finally and fully embraces his role as a proclaimer of the Good News of the Gospel and leaves behind his former role as an arbitrator of man’s laws. We pray for him to grow in knowledge and love.

But until our prayers are answered, people shouldn’t be surprised if we turn up our noses at yet another grilled cheese sandwich, and go in search of a cool glass of water.

#tumblrstake #lds #mormon #lds church #ldschurch #just mormon things #mormon church #ldslife #queerstake

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hetalia-club · 5 months ago

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GOT Lore- House Tyrell

Other Houses: Targaryen Stark Greyjoy Lannister Tyrell

GOT vocab for non watchers- Ward- This is when a member of a noble house is 'taken in' by a member of another family. They are treated as one of their own and are an 'honorary member' for the duration of their stay which is typically their entire childhood. They train, eat, sleep, and celebrate with them as if they were their own family. Sometimes the Lord of the house they are staying in will find a groom/bride for them as if they were their own child. But offering your child as a ward is basically giving them to that family to raise how they want. This builds the bond between houses and helps pivotal future members form life long friendships. The Vale- A castle in the north East part of Westeros in the Eryrie. The lands are ruled over by the Arryn family. They live in a tall tower that is impossible to attack since climbing up it involves a donkey and an elevator pully system. Just don't make the High Lords mad here or you may find yourself taking a one trip tick out the Moon Door.

House Tyrell Lore for non GOT watchers- The Tyrell family are the Wardens of The South. Where do I begin with house Tyrell? The Tyrell Family are known as the Golden Roses, that is their family coat of arms. They want to be a scheming dastardly bunch but they have too much honor at the end of the day (Which isn't a bad thing). They care about the small folk a lot. Instead of viewing them as things in their way they actually want to give them a nicer life. They hold alliances well. They are the most powerful house because they own the most amount of land in a very fertile spot so they basically supply all the food to the whole seven kingdoms. So making them mad cuts off your food supply. On top of that they have the largest army in Westeros surprising that of the king with me on foot. They have a connection with their common people so people willingly and happily enlist in the military to defend them without much nudge. But They mostly just chill. They don’t really like to start shit but they will wait it out and join a winning side and finish the job. The Tyrell's are considered to be the heart of chivalry of the Seven Kingdoms. Their Knights are known far and wide for being kind and generous. Basically doing what knights should do. Their Lords and Ladies visit orphans, do charity work at the poor house, donate copious amounts of food. They tour the streets in their carriages giving food to people who line up personally handing it out. Now if you were a peasant who would you like more as a Lord? The one who personally gave you a hug and a loaf of bread and assured you life would get better and found you work after you lost your leg? Or a Lord who you've never actually seen in person and just sat in their castle all day and just taxed you blind? The answer is obvious. The people LOVE them. Because they provide for them. They just walk around the streets of neighborhoods unguarded and they treat the small folk as equal. Though it's all strategic. They know having the small folk close means they have a bigger army. They know if they are attacked by another house there will be OUTRAGE. But just because they are land locked does not mean they can't command the sea as well They have the second largest armada, their ships over power that of the Kings easily. Their castle Highgarden is a castle tucked away in a garden on top of a hill, surrounded by a maze made of rose bushes. Members of this house often have curly brown/auburn hair and brown eyes and are known to be attractive. They got them good genes.

^^ Concept art for Castel Highgarden

Francis Tyrell- Francis is the Lord of High Garden and Warden of the South. He's a relatively newer Lord. His elderly father passed a few years ago leaving the title to him. He's a great diplomat but not known to be the best sword. He prides himself on having flashy gold and green armor with roses engraved intricately into it, rather than practicality for fighting. He's known for throwing some of the grandest parties in Westeros. He’s just vibing really

Feliciano Tyrell- The second born of the Tyrell twins. Feliciano has a love of music. He plays the lute for high born ladies at his fathers parties. He isn't the best swordsman but he is very good with a cross bow. He prefers ranged fighting over close combat. Much like his father he prides himself on his intricate armor and flashy sword (that he hardly uses).

Lovino Tyrell- Lovino is the first born twin and heir. He prefers to be up close and personal when he's fighting. He has never gotten in a real life threatening fight before since his family has not been in a war in his life time, he does however enter a lot of tourneys. He has never come in first but he's come close to winning. He is a bit of a sore loser and losing does put in in a very bad mood. But he does normally have all the girls cheering for him since he is a Tyrell and he is handsome. He hands a rose out to a lucky maiden before every tourney as a favor. Lovino is currently a ward at Casterly Rock to train and build relations with the two houses, something that was set up by his Aunt Elizaveta. Though he still sees his family often since it's only about a week long ship ride from Highgarden to Casterly Rock. He is betrothed to Amelia Stark (but not for long).

Roderich Tyrell- Roderich is Francis's younger brother. Roderich lives in Kings Landing where he serves as Hand of The King. He has an extremely stressful job and the King rarely listens to him or takes his advice. So he does get blamed a lot for stupid decisions the King makes since he's supposed to prevent that from happening. Though it's not his fault. He can only suggest that the King not burn people alive with his dragon for entertainment. He can't actually boss the King around and say 'you're not allowed to do that'. And at small council meetings King Gilbert would rather talk about planning a tourney or grand party of some kind or mess around with his carved dragon figurines instead of doing anything about the smallfolk uprising going on because he cut their food surplus so he could throw a tourney. His solution would simply be "let me send my dragon to teach them a lesson" so Roderich normally takes care of all those little details by himself while the King is occupied with his dragons and wine. The crown is heavily in debt as you can imagine. Because if the King wants a party...there will be a party.

Elizaveta Tyrell/Arryn- The older sister of Francis and Roderich. She is the Lady of the Vale. And has not been home in quite some time. Is currently having a love affair with Ludwig Lannister. It's a good thing her husband is a moron and has not questioned why his wife takes so many trips to Casterly Rock. She simply says it's for 'diplomatic reasons' and since she has worn the armor in their relationship and basically is the ruler of the Vale just without the title due to her husband’s incompetence he doesn't question it. He didn’t even question why his only son and heir was born with golden hair when he and his wife both have dark hair.

Laura Tyrell- The youngest child and daughter of Francis. She is relatively young so she doesn't do much of anything yet. But she does have a fondness for honey cakes and her big brothers lute playing and singing.

#Hetalia #hws france #hws romano #hws italy #hws austria #hws belgium

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captainrogers-thepatriot · 9 months ago

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The Forgotten Child part 1

Summary: Steve goes on a mission to find a weapon at a Hydra lab and instead discovers a boy with strange powers. The child is found malnourished and badly abused. Steve decides then to take the child home and give him a loving home. Yet things take a turn when they discover other plans had been made for the child by people who wanted to use him for there own gain.

Trigger warning: mention of abuse and neglect

---------------

It had been a total of 60 years since Steve had went back in time to start a life with Peggy. They got married, had children and now the two of them lived together in the home they raised their kids in. Peggy was in her 80s and certainly was begining to look her age. Although Steve still believes she was still the most beautiful woman he ever laid his eyes on. Steve well he looked the same as before. Still fit and looked in his 20s, although he was far from that in years.

When Peggy and him were raising their kids, Peggy worked at shield and Steve was a stay at home dad to their children. Now Peggy had recently retired and Steve was going on missions for shield. Although only high level agents even knew he was still alive.

On a recent mission he rescued a boy. This boy was being used as a lab rat by Hydra. They had injected him with different chemicals and liquid elements hoping to create a super serum of their own. Most of these chemicals only caused the child pain and horrible side effects.

Steve entered his home holding the boy in his arms. The child clinging onto Steve as if he was a life raft. The child was extremely pale and had scars and bruises all over his body. He was extremely thin. Hel looked like he hadn't eaten a good meal in a long time. He had long blonde hair and blue eyes.

Peggy sat in the living room reading when she saw Steve and the child. She couldn't but gasp at the sight of the child. She immediately got up and rushed to them.

“What happened to him?” Peggy asked.

“Hydra. They were experimenting on him, trying to recreate the super serum.” Steve told her.

“Those heartless bastards.” Peggy exclaimed. “I knew they were bad…but this is a new level. This poor. Does he have any family to go to?”

“The mother died. I tried to save her, but she was killed as we were trying to escape.” Steve told her.

As he said that the boy began to cry silently. Peggy put out her arms and motioned for Steve to pass her the child.

She rocked the child and kissed his head.

“Your alright, dearie.” Peggy assured the child. “Your safe here. We won't let anyone hurt you.”

“The father, isn't around. The kid said he never met him.” Steve continued.

“Anyone else? An aunt or uncle.”

“I checked. There's no one else.” Steve answered. “So don't freak out, hear me out. I was thinking we could take him in and raise him. This poor kid has been through hell and the last thing he needs is more term oil. He needs love, a home and family. We can provide that for him. If we're to go into the foster system, it's likely he will get a family that wont care about him, who won't give him the attention he needs. It's a broken system. He also has abilities, ones that he can't control and I'm sure if he went into foster care, he would just be shuffled from home to home. He doesn't need that he needs stability. I know that you just retired and I know that you were looking forward to spending more time together. Especially now that the kids are out of the house. But I really think we need to help this boy. He really needs us and I think-”

“Steve, would you shut up for a second?” Peggy laughed. “Of course we can take him in. I agree he needs a good home, a good family. We can provide that for him. I don't know how many years I have left. But I know I want to continue to make a difference in people's lives until I die.”

“Your the most amazing woman to ever exist. That's a fact.” He replied.

“Aw Darling, your so sweet.” Peggy answered. “Your a good man, with a big heart. It's wonderful that you want to help him. I will be at your side to do that too.”

Peggy set down the kid onto the couch. Then Steve hugged Peggy and kissed her lips. He felt so thankful to have a wife as kind as her.

She then looked to the child with a smile.

“Hello little love, my name is Peggy Rogers.” Peggy began. “Your new friend Steve is my husband.”

The child just stared at her, nervous and unsure about this new person.

“I just made some chocolate chip cookies would you like to try some?” Peggy continued, putting out her hand to the child.

The child looked to Steve. He smiled at him and nodded.

“You can trust her.” Steve told the child. “I have trusted my life to her many times, she has never failed me once.”

The boy moved forward and then took Peggy's hand. She then lead him to the kitchen.

****

Peggy watched as she sat across from the boy and he scarfed down her cookies. It was strange especially cause she was a horrible cook. No one liked her cookies, expect steve. Whom she’d venture only said he liked them to make her happy.

She looked at the little boy up and down, he looked as if he hadn't eaten in days.

“Did they feed you at Hydra?” Peggy questioned.

“One meal a day, it was a protein bar with water.” The boy answered. “My mom would sometimes try to sneak me more food. But they would hurt her if she got caught. I didn't like seeing mommy hurt.”

“Course not.” Peggy answered with sympathy.

“Did you see what happened to your mother?” Peggy asked.

She hoped the answer would be no. This child didn't need more emotional scars.

“Me, and mommy and Mr. Steve were running out of the building. The bad guys they had guns and they shot at us. A bullet came toward me and mommy blocked it. She got hit instead of me.”

“Sounds like she's a very brave woman.” Peggy said. “I wish I could have met her.”

“She was the best. Me and her played lots of games like ‘I Spy’ and ‘Going on a Picnic’. Oh and she loved to tell me stories about heros like Hercules and Robin Hood. She knew lots of stories just from her head.”

“Wow that's really lovely.”

“Do you know any stories?” the boy asked.

“I don't know many by heart. I do have a bookshelf of stories though, that I can read to you.”

“wow that's a lot.” The child remarked.

“Do you have a name by the way?” Peggy asked.

“They called me 2342 at Hydra.”

This saddened Peggy further.

“Well we will have to change that and think of something proper to call you.” Peggy told him.

“Okay.” He answered simply. “Like what?”

“My husband and I, raised all girls. They were wonderful, strong, beautiful girl who grew into extraordinary women. Anyways Steve always said if we had a boy, he'd want to name it James after his best friend.”

“I like that name.” The boy answered.

He was silent for a moment. He appeared to be thinking.

“Are you and Steve going to me my new mommy and daddy?”

“If you want us to. We're going to take care of you. You don't have to call us mommy and daddy if you don't want to you. You can if you’d like too.”

“....Well I never had a Dad so I would like one. I ldon't know if I want a new mom, I really liked the one I had.”

“That's okay, love. I understand.” She told him. “You do what feels right to you.”

“One last thing, do you know how to take a bath? Cause honestly, my love, you stink.”

“What's a bath?” James asked.

“Your gonna find out.” Peggy answered.

Peggy then took the child to the bathroom and drew him a bath. As she took off his clothes she noticed scars on his back. She didn't want to know how or why. She was sure it was a tragic story. They were long scars as if he had been cut. On his arms were red bumps, which she had assumed were injection scars. She cleaned the child. There was layers and layers dirt on his skin, she had to scrub hard to get any of it off.

*****

Steve had been cooking lunch in the kitchen. It was a simple meal of homemade macaroni and cheese.

He had set the table with the macaroni pot in the center of the table. He also had the radio playing the latest baseball game. He loved the LA dodgers, he used to root for the dodgers when they were in Brooklyn.

Peggy then entered the kitchen holding James’s hand. James was dressed in one of Peggy’s pajama tops. It had pink and blue striped with buttons down the front. He wore matching striped pants and a pink robe over the outfit. The clothes were clearly to long for him. The sleeves consumed his arms and he had to roll up the pants legs to be able to walk.

Steve could contain his laugher at seeing the child.

“I didn't have anything in the the house that would fit him.” Peggy explained. “I tried putting him in one of your pajama sets but it was worse.”

“We will have to go into town and buy him some clothes tomorrow.” Steve replied. “For tonight, it's fine, at least he will be warm and clean.”

“Thank you for the clothes. These are comfy.” James spoke. “I like them alot. I didn't get many new clothes before.”

They then sit down and begin to eat.

“Can I ask a question.” James spoke.

“Of course, always.” Steve answered.

“Why did you save me?” he asked looking to Steve.

Steve was taken back by that question. Did he not want to be saved? Wasn't he unhappy living the way he was?

“Well because Hydra was hurting you and I wanted you to be safe and happy.”

“But you didn't even know me. Why would you care about someone you don't know?”

“people are people and they all deserve to live happy lives. They deserve to be shown love and joy. Your no different. When I see someone in trouble, I want to help, I want to help them have a better life.”

“That's really kind.” James answered.

There was silence as they continued eating.

“Also Peggy said you two had daughters. What happened to them?” James asked.

“They grew up, they are still around.” Steve told him. “They just don't live here anymore. One has a family of her own now and the other moved away to follow a job.”

“Oh. Are they nice?”

“Very. ones a school teacher and the other is working as an field agent for the government.” Steve answered. “you will meet them some day.”

“I would like to meet them.” James answered. “There your kids so I'm sure they are really nice.”

“Is there anything you want to know about us?” Steve asked.

“What do you do for work?”

“I'm retired. I used to be the director for a government organization.” Peggy answered.

“I was retired and now I'm working as a agent to a government organization. Which your going to have to keep a secret.”

“I can do that.” James answered.

****

Then suddenly Tony Stark showed up at the home. He has a key since Peggy has always been close with, ever since he was a child. she saw him as a son she never had.

“So we have a bit of a crisis going on.” Tony began. “How come neither one of you answer your phone?”

“There turned off. It's dinner time.” Peggy answered. “You could eat with us if you like, Anthony. Just grab a plate.”

“no thank you Aunt Peggy.” Tony answered. “Although I'm sure the food is great. I'm here on shield business.”

“What's wrong?” Peggy questioned.

Tony noticed the child sitting with them.

“No no no no no! What is wrong with you!?” Tony shouted.

Then he glared at Steve then pointed to him.

“Him. Are you trying to get me fired? Or are you just unwilling to follow any instructions set for you? You were supposed to retrieve him and bring hin back to shield that was what was agreed on. That was your mission.”

#trigger warning mention of abuse and neglect #steve rogers #captain america #marvel #peggy carter #mcu #bucky barnes #marvel comics #tony stark #black widow #shield #hydra #hawkeye #sam wilson #iron man #nick fury #the forgotten child #thread series the forgotten child

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miguelmeiai · 3 months ago

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Life is Strange 2 - What if Esteban hadn't died? - Part V - EPISODE 1 FINISHED

Sean wakes up after a horrible nightmare. His dad also wakes up to him and Daniel screaming.

— Calm down, my boys. ¿Qué pasó?

Daniel can't stop crying.

— What happened, enano?

— Sean, I dreamed of our dad being killed in front of us. And then we had to escape from the police. It was so horrible.

Daniel hiccups from all the crying. Sean hugs him.

— This is weird, ‘cause I had the same nightmare.

— You can calm down now and rest assured that papito is still here, alive, perfectly fine, and healthy.

Daniel calms down and stops crying. With the warm hug from Esteban and Sean, he slowly falls asleep again.

— I guess he's calmer now.

— Yeah, I think so, hijo.

— Dad, isn't it weird that Daniel and I had the same dream?

— It seems like you're traumatized. I get you. It wasn't easy when I immigrated to the US. People used to treat me as if I were a bad person or a thief.

— And how did you handle all that?

— I just didn't care. Bad people are everywhere.

— Sometimes they live very near to us. Like our asshole neighbor, for example. By the way, dad, Can you tell me more about why you're so obsessed with Puerto Lobos?

— Well… you know, Sean, it's my hometown. Besides, despite the lack of good job opportunities, it provides us with freedom. Something I as an immigrant will never find in the US.

— I get you, dad. Will you ever take us there?

— One day, hijo, one day.

— Anyway, Sean, since you’re older now and probably feeling attracted to other people already and having quite a few crushes here and there, I think it's about time we talk about “that stuff”.

— Come on, dad!

— It's important that we talk about this — Esteban insists, with a strong Mexican accent.

— Dad...

— Don't be ashamed to ask me anything you might not know. I know you might know a lot of stuff, but...

— Dad, what's the point of this conversation?

— I just want you to know that sexuality is a broad spectrum. But I want you to be aware that I'll always love you, hijo, no matter who you end up falling in love with.

—I'm completely lost, dad. Can we change the topic?

— Oh, you're not ready to talk about this with me. Okay, no pressure. Oh, yeah, I want to know one thing… What about that Jenn, hijo?

— Well… I didn't go to the party, so… yeah, I missed my chance to impress her and maybe kiss her. But at least I could spend some time with you and Daniel in the woods. It was quite fun.

— What about Lyla then? You two are so close.

— Well, ehm… we are only friends… I guess…

— Then why are you so nervous?

— Dad, come on…

— Okay, Sean. I’ll leave you alone. It seems you don't want to talk to dad today. You prefer to keep hiding things from me and leave it all up to me to guess everything, huh? Okay, no problem.

─ What do you mean? I...

─ Well...

They go back to sleep. The next morning, they play hide and seek beside the river after eating breakfast. Esteban is the winner, and the boys had a hard time finding him. They finally go back to the road. Esteban plans to stay a bit in Arcadia Bay before returning to Seattle.

After a whole day of driving around, Esteban stops at Otter Point. Sean looks at Daniel, and he is in the backseat sleeping while hugging his dog.

— Daniel being Daniel.

Esteban sneezes.

— I think I will get out of the car to breathe some fresh air.

He gets out and stares at the city from the Otter Point. Sean does the same.

— Are you okay, dad?

— Yeah. I’m just… thinking about some things.

— Things like?

— Nevermind, Sean.

— Are you thinking about my mom?

Esteban sighs.

— Sometimes I still think about her, it’s inevitable. Sometimes I think about what I could’ve done differently.

— Dad, you did nothing wrong. It was all her fault. She was the one who abandoned her own family.

Esteban turns his back and goes back to his car. Sean does the same.

— You’ll get a driver's license soon, hijo.

A few kilometers ahead, he stops at a roadside motel. They unpack their things in their room.

— Great, my boys. Now I’m going to take a shower. I will come back in a few minutes. And, please, don’t fight!

— We won’t, I promise — Daniel promises.

Esteban hugs him.

— I know you can be a good kid, Daniel.

He looks at Sean.

— Please look after him until I come back.

Sean rolls his eyes because he finds caring for his little brother boring. Esteban goes to the bathroom to heat up the water. Daniel picks up the remote control and turns the TV on.

— Can you watch this episode with me, Sean? Please?

— Nah.

— Why?

— I have seen it a thousand times already.

— When did you become so boring?

— I’m not boring, it’s just… I’ve grown older, I’m not a kid anymore.

Daniel starts getting mad.

— Besides, I wanna call Lyla right now. I miss her. We can watch it later. There are some things I have to tell her and…

— I want to do it now!!! — Daniel screams, furiously, after his brother refuses to give him attention.

The lights oscillate, a strong wind torrent enters the room through the window, and objects begin floating and being thrown at Sean. Sean is scared and Esteban rushes to see what is happening.

— What’s happening here?! — Esteban asks.

Sean hugs Daniel.

— Calm down, Daniel…

Daniel slowly calms down and everything goes back to normal. He is also scared himself.

— What… happened…

— Woah… you have powers? — Esteban is surprised.

— Am I a monster? — Daniel asks, about to cry.

— It was a bit unexpected, but… no, hijo, you aren’t a monster.

— I think it’s better if no one else finds out about this — Sean suggests. — At least for now…

— I just don’t understand… what could’ve triggered it?

They are all shocked by what happened.

END OF EPISODE 1 - “BROTHERS”

I will probably write fanfics about the other LIS 2 episodes as well if I get enough support and see that people are enjoying what I wrote. Please like it and comment if you enjoyed this fanfic.

#au #esteban diaz #fanfic #fanfiction #fiction #life is strange 2 #sean diaz #daniel diaz

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rezitio · 11 months ago

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┊⋆ ˚✯✩ :: 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐘 𝐌𝐄! 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐁!𝐌𝐂

13/08/23

✩:: 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐘𝐌𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐁!𝐌𝐂✧

A/n : I hope someone hasn't done this before.

Warning : Fluff/Headcannons. AFAB!reader

Characters : Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub

:: Lucifer

When he heard the news, he was in a little bit of shock and confusion. First he didn't really believe you and tried to laugh it off but when he saw how serious you were he began expressing his concerns but assured you he was willing to take care of the child if you chose to keep it.

"Wait, you're being serious?" the blank expression you had on your face answered him. "But how? we were so careful..."

"I know but this is a good thing right?" You say trying to sound cheerful "I was thinking maybe, we should keep...it?" You say fidgeting with your hands.

"Keep it?" He replied. "You know this isn't a very good place to raise a child, especially with them around" he says referring to his brothers

"I know but-"

"And I haven't really heard of demon-human mixes unless you mean giants but are you sure you can take care of a giant?"

"I don't think they will-"

"Food and support is going to be hella expensive and we don't know if it can live here or the human-world, what would it eat? And it's going to be time-consuming are you sure you're ready for that? I don't think you are-"

"Can you stop referring to our child as 'it'?" You shout. He hushed a bit surprised by your outbreak. "I know I'll do everything in my power to provide for the child, the question is will you?"

He sighs and embraces you in a hug "I will baby, just worried" he kisses your forehead

"I'm worried too but I know if you support me we can power through"

He looks at you "I'll be with you both of you all the way"

:: Mammon

First he will be a little but worried but other than that he's happy! He's ready to try his hardest to be the best father he can be for both you and the spawn. He loves you so much, he's willing to make sacrifices (use his credit card) for the child

"So my sperm is growing inside ya? Just like that? No complications, no problems?"

"I mean if you exclude the change of taste buds and vomiting, yeah I'm alright" you laugh

He scoffs "I'm going to be a father- Huh..." His tiny smirk turns into a wide grin as he surprisingly picks you up chanting 'Im going to be a father' he eventually puts you down after much protests from you.

"You don't have to do any work now, let me take care of you, ok?"

You giggle "Ok, prince Charming"

:: Leviathan

First he was shocked and didn't really process what you're just said. He also didn't understand how it worked but seeing as you were just as worried as he was he began to comfort you, then you started planning your baby in his room.

"It's not that big of a deal, we can take care of it" he held your hands with one hand and wiped away your tears with the other.

"But are we even ready" your voice cracked. "I mean you weren't ready when you came here, I wasn't ready when you came into my life was I?"

"I mean yeah, but-"

"But we survived now look at us now" he point to him then to you with a cheeky smile "Mom and dad" then pointed to your stomach "bi-species mix" making you giggle a bit

Seeing your smile he smiled a little more. "Ok, as long as you'll be here with me"

"I'll never leave your side. Now what are we going to name them if it's a girl"

"I'm thinking ___"

"___? What about Ruri" he argued

You just gave him blank stare "But __ is also fine!"

You laugh, and you two continue talking about the child.

:: Satan

At first he was not having it, he was like "Haha, funny, you're joking" and wouldn't accept any other explanation, but when he realises that you are in fact serious, he tries to calm you down. He may not be super thrilled about having kids but for you, he'll bite.

"Satan! I'm being serious, I-I'm pregnant. Do you not want a baby that bad" You say on the verge of tears

He finally sighs giving into reality "MC..., I'm sorry. It's just a huge step" he says trying to hug you but you push him away tears keep flowing.

"Do you want me to leave th-"

"No. Please y/n don't leave me." He sighs yet again

"Look I may not like the idea of kids very much but...for you, I'll do anything darling."

:: Asmodeus

You wouldn't have to tell him, he'll tell you. He's the avatar of lust, sex and everything that comes as a result of it. He knows whether his seed met your egg or not.

"I- I think we're pregnant love..." He looks you dead in the eye sounding generally worried.

"We?" You ask and he nods his head.

"See how you've been vomiting all over the place and you don't like my gremlin churros anymore but you pick Beels donuts- we're pregnant!" He exclaims. Again you wanted ask were he came in the We but you let it slide.

"Yeah, I know we are Asmo but I- i don't think we can keep it."

Silence fill the room for a second before Asmodues speaks. "I'm not gonna force you, since it's growing in your stomach but... I'd like to keep the baby."

One of your worries was Asmo wouldn't want to keep the baby, as you see now that problem is solved but unfortunately it was only one of your worries.

"Baby I- what if we- I don't think I'm ready to be, what if I mess up? I can't" Tears pool your eyes and brings you into a tight hug

"I'm not ready to but, with you, I know we can"

:: Beel

First off let me say Beel would not have a problem with having a child in the beginning infact he wouldn't even fully process it till you start going into labour, so when you tell him you're pregnant with worry and tears on your ears he can't seem to understand where it's coming from. He does try and comfort you in whatever way he can.

"Hey, hey its fine really." He says trying to comfort you but you can't stop crying. "If anything is my fault I came inside, look I don't mind the kid, sure it means I have to share my foods but really we'll get through it."

"I'm worried Beel, what if-"

"Enough with the what ifs, you're going to be fine. We'll be fine and we'll raise this baby together."

You hug him and he hugs you back slightly caressing your back. Although there were a few complications with your pregnancy because of the half breed when the day arrived you delivered your baby, after much panicking from Beel, who had now processed what was going on, that you had to comfort him.

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me headcanons #lucifer headcanons #obey me x reader #mammon headcanon #obey me asmodeus #satan headcanons #asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub #obey me leviathan

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schhwifty · 6 months ago

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The Royal Sorcerer Navlaan

Due to Royal Sorcerer Navlaan being today's subject of crackpot connections and speculations, I'm going to give a heads up on some referencing and structure to prevent possible confusion For matter of context and understanding, I'll be referring to the 'Good' side of Royal Sorcerer Navlaan as The Sorcerer and referring to the 'Bad' side as Navlaan. As for the structure - everything is structured in the order of what I found interesting while investigating, which usually isn't how I structure these segments, and I thought it would be fun to switch things up to see how it flows A fair warning, you may have some "But wait!" moments with how information is provided as this segment progresses and I reassure you it's all part of the process Everything will make sense later. Hopefully.

With all that said And so, here we go!

Part I: Navlaan's 'Murder List'

Let's take a look at the list of individuals Navlaan wants the Bearer of the Curse to un-alive

Navlaan: "I want you to kill a merchant named Gilligan. A greedy, foul man. He won't be missed, I assure you. Hmm…Yes… Bring me a Ladder Miniature as proof."

Laddersmith Gilligan

Gilligan mentions he's a fugitive from lands West of Drangleic, so, if memory serves correctly the lands in the West that are not 'very far West' of Drangleic is Volgen Volgen is also mentioned by other characters as being in the West and very merchant focused

Via his dialogue: '"I'm on the run, don't give me away! You're a fugitive too, eh?"' '"Huh? No, I wasn't born here. I'm from a wee bit…I'm from a wee bit out west, that's all."' "You wouldn't believe the shenanigans that happen in my business. I thought at least here in the middle of nowhere I could stay clear of, you know, my auld pals."'

Gilligan sells an assortment of bleed focused items such as Lacerating Knives, Bleeding Serum, and Claws along with the Thief Mask and the Black Leather Armor set I think these items could connect to his "business" with the "auld pals" he mentions, and the fact that he's a fugitive on the run However, to be fair, when he says "business" he may be speaking literally and referring to being a merchant, so, I think it could be interpreted either way

He also has a Melu Scimitar, which I think he may have stolen from somewhere or someone in Volgen Per its description: 'Nothing notable about this weapon, except perhaps the luxurious jewels embedded in the hilt'

Navlaan: "Your target will be Cale, the man who's drafting that map. While I was trapped in here, he touched me, that maniac, like I was some rare specimen. He wore a strange helm. Bring it back as proof."

Cale the Cartographer

Mr. Cale is from Mirrah, fond of maps, and wants to make maps Via his dialogue: '"I am a traveller, like yourself. I'm navigating the continent to create a map."' "I was born in the land of Mirrah."'

His memory is foggy in regards to why he came to Drangleic and why he loves maps The lack of memory isn't unusual as almost every character Bearer of the Curse talks with mentions experiencing memory loss shortly after arriving in Drangleic, and they seem to retain the main reason behind their journey without remembering the finer details of why they're doing it

Cale's armor set mentions being 'of a light Mirrah foot soldier' and he 'procured this inexpensively second-hand', so, I think it's fair to speculate Cale could be a Foot Soldier Scout from Mirrah because keeping track of the lands traveled and being a Scout go hand-in-hand I also think Cale being sent to Drangleic to obtain a current standing condition report, layout, and mapping of the land is a reasonable possibility

An interesting note - Cale uses an Uchigatana when attacked and there's no way to obtain it because he doesn't drop the weapon when killed and he's not a merchant, so, he doesn't sell it either

Navlaan; "Your target is Felkin, the hexer. As proof, bring me that peculiar sceptre of his. But he will be formidable. Be cautious."

Felkin the Outcast

There's a lot of really interesting information and connections between Felkin and the The Sorcerer / Navlaan

Felkin attended a "great school in the South", which I assume is Melfian Magic Academy due to Melfian being South of Drangleic per mentioned by Carhillion and Rosabeth being from there as well

Via Felkin's dialogue: '"I w-went…I went…I went to a great school…in the south…But neither sorcery nor pyromancy appealed"' "I-I learned nothing…nothing at all…I-it was there that I happened upon the Dark. It drew me in…The nebulous Dark…Soon, I was drawn to this land, where Dark runs deeper than anywhere else."' "Hexes ar…are more than mere tools to me…I feel affinity…and warmth…Something universal, nostalgia…even…"'

Something interesting to keep in mind for later - Felkin created the Dark Weapon, Resonant Flesh, and Resonant Weapon hexes

Felkin sells the Archdrake Chime and Archdrake Staff, two items not easily obtained due to being given to Archdrake sect members of Lindelt, and he also sells the Ring of Life Protection The ring's description mentions: 'Divine ring that watches over one's life. Created by the students of Ivory Rhonnes, sage of Lindelt.'

An interesting note - The only way to get the Chime, Staff, and Ring from Felkin is via trade because he does not drop them if killed

When attacked, Felkin uses the Sunset Staff which is a Staff 'said to have been forged in Aldia' He also equips a Chaos Rapier and Chaos Shield for melee combat, which is very interesting because both items belonged to Navlaan in the base game before the item descriptions were changed in SotFS to fit Felkin's lore The Chaos Rapier and Chaos Shield are also dropped by Enhanced Undead located within Aldia's Keep

Navlaan: "I want you to kill the girl in Majula known as the Muse. They say that she is the last Fire Keeper. But they say a lot of things…That she's a gentle shepherd, lighting the way for you cursed fools. Nonsense. Once she is dead, I will have no regrets, and I will be content to remain here. The girl will have a peculiar feather. Bring it to me."

Shanalotte / Emerald Herald

There's a lot that can be mentioned for Shanalotte overall, however, for sake of focus I'll keep it simple by staying limited to her dialogue and because it ends Part I

Via Shanalotte's dialogue: "Bearer of the curse. Long have I awaited one such as you, one who might shatter the shackles of fate. One who can set me free."' "My journey is already complete. My name is Shanalotte. The dragon gave me this name, for I was born with none. I was born of dragons, contrived by men. By ones who would cozen fate herself…They are the ones who created me. But they failed. I did not come out as intended. Fate would not be bested, and men were cursed once again."'

Part II: The summery focus and reflection on who is the Sorcerer known as Navlaan

And so, here we go!

First, let's begin by taking a look at these items Navlaan has available for trade

Moon Hat

Astrologist's Set

Thunder Quartz Ring+2

Great Magic Weapon

Strong Magic Shield

I believe these items provide enough to speculate The Sorcerer spent some time within Melfia attending the Melfian Magic Academy I also believe he had met Felkin (before Felkin became an Outcast) at Melfian Magic Academy, and possibly studied Hexs with Felkin before Felkin had left the Academy

The Sorcerer had an interest in the art of resurrection and created Scraps of Life and Darkstorm, the two Hexes that lead to his exile then execution along with his entire village

For context and understanding:

Right?! How is this feller still causing havoc if he was executed is exactly the same thing I thought too!

Well, I found some nifty nito info about that

!!!!Something Worth Mentioning!!!!

The descriptions of Scraps of Life and Darkstorm can understandably come off as confusing due to referencing the existence of Navlaan being executed and not The Sorcerer being executed, while pretty much all signs point to The Sorcerer being executed before the known entity Navlaan appeared I think this is just a simple reference thing, like, they wanted the reference to be directly known and when the player meets The Sorcerer he is The Royal Sorcerer Navlaan, so by directly using the name Navlaan it's easier to make that connection If they had phrased it as 'The Sorcerer' or 'A sorcerer' instead of Navlaan then it would have been confusing due to there being many sorcerers within DS2 both literally and in mention

!!!!Okay Moving On!!!!

When Bearer of the Curse finds Navlaan sealed within Aldia's Keep his skin is blue like a Fenito He's not a Fenito, though, and this is something I am certain of Without going into another full segment on why, I'll keep it simple by stating the most direct "hard" backing evidence being Fenitos are not living Humans or livng beings to begin with and were created (all signs point to Nito being their creator, however, it doesn't state that right out) to watch over the dead, particularly the Undead Crypt in DS2 However, the Fenito being 'not living' beings while also not Undead Humans and have blue skin, is worth noting

Moving on!

The hood Navlaan wears provides some interesting information to consider

Chaos Hood

The rest of the Chaos Set doesn't state much while also providing a lot

Now, with everything previously mentioned so far considered…

I believe Navlaan could be a sentient soul accidentally created by The Sorcerer during his study of resurrection, and that soul possessed the body of the The Sorcerer after he and his entire village were executed

The Sorcerer partially resurrected himself through hex magic and it created Navlaan with Navlaan now being a part of The Sorcerer's soul

Circling back to the Chaos Hood and it's description, let's hammer out some notes worth considering

-The description of the Chaos Hood states its wearer as being 'a chaos sorcerer' and uses 'the man' as reference instead of Navlaan or the title of Royal Sorcerer

-The rest of the Chaos Set, that the Chaos Hood is part of, provides a context delivery like it's a deceleration saying the chaos sorcerer is no longer just a chaos sorcerer, He is now known as Navlaan

-The mention of sentient magic in a form of a question provided me with the interpretation that 'the man' (aka The Sorcerer now Chaos Sorcerer before becoming known as The Royal Sorcerer Navlaan) spoke of sentient magic and the sentient magic being Navlaan (The Sorcerer confirms he sealed himself away and goes into detail why, which I provide later)

-If we were to consider the possibility of Navlaan being a form of sentient magic, it is worth considering the possibility Navlaan is using the body of The Sorcerer as a catalyst to survive, which brings me to this interesting point - when Navlaan is aggro'd and attacks he is able to cast hexs without the use of a Staff or Chime Also, if The Sorcerer's body is being used as a vessel and catalyst that may explain why his skin is blue because the body is more so being used as a tool than being a living being

Now this crackpot is cooking! So, let's keep going

If we take the Affinity Hex into consideration, the possibility of a sentient magic or sentient sorcery seems more likely than not

Affinity

As I mentioned before, there's dialogue provided by both The Sorcerer and Navlaan which is important and provides direct information The Sorcerer speaks to Bearer of the Curse while in Human form, as Navlaan speaks while in Hollow form

Via their dialogue:

(The Sorcerer) "P-please, just stay away." "No, please, don't come near me. Nothing good will come of it." "Just leave me alone, please." "Leave this place, and leave me be, as I'd not see any harm befall you" "I haven't said anything strange, have I?" "I have absolutely no intention of leaving here."

(Navlaan) " This? This contains my power." "Long ago…This…naive vessel of mine set about devising new spells. The fool dreamt of bringing new forms of magic into the world. But instead, he created me. Mostly by chance, but he did a fine job, I must say. What he sought was strength. And so, I decided to demonstrate. While my vessel slept, I'd find my mark, and hunt him down. But my vessel did not approve. And so while I slept, he sealed the both of us away." "Now, I don't have anything against humans, but how is it that you go about defining good and evil? I'm only using what the Gods gave me. How can that be so wrong?"

So, yeah, there's a lot of straight to the point information there and, in my opinion, it all supports the speculation of Navlaan being some kind of sentient sorcery or sentient hex that's using the body of its creator to roam the world hunting down and un-aliving its 'marks' Also, the line "I'm only using what the Gods gave me." is quite peculiar, however, if we consider how soul sorcery was created and how hexes are also a form of sorcery then, well, Navlaan's point technically isn't incorrect with how he uses something that that Gods created to kill his 'marks'

And…we've reached the halfway point! Nice! Don't worry! The last two sections are not as long as the first two Still, though, feel free to get a drink and some snacks or use the bathroom if need be

…

Anyway, moving on!

I'm sure you're wondering just as I did at this point - How did The Sorcer Navlaan end up in Aldia's keep?? Good question! And the good question leads into the next section!

Part III: The Sorcerer seeks resurrection, finds Royal Chaos

The word Royal is seemingly applied to a certain type of individuals within DS2 while not being the same as DS1 or DS3 in meaning, and holds more of a connection to Knights, Guards, Warriors, and pretty much anyone serving some kind of military-esc importance for a King or Kingdom To be a Royal Sorcerer, one can speculate that the title would pertain to someone who's a Sorcerer serving directly to or under a King or King's order in consult, creation of magic, battle, and possibly all of the previously mentioned

However, there's barely anyone with such a title or position and there's other individuals of title and status who hold important positions to Kings and Kingdoms such as Chancellor Wellager

So, who the heck was The Royal Sorcerer Navlaan royally working for?

Spoiler: I didn't find out

Although, due to a good chunk of consistent information, I was able to connect many points then come to the speculation The Sorcerer may have became close with Aldia to the point of reaching 'Royal' status while being one of Aldia's Chaos Sorcerers, and then in turn went from being The Sorcerer, to Chaos Sorcerer, and final forming into The Royal Sorcerer Navlaan

Also, something I mentioned previously which feels like way back at this point, we know Felkin the Outcast was in Melfia before traveling to Drangleic We know Felkin also has various items directly tied to Aldia's Keep along with some of those items being created at Aldia's Keep

So, here's my crackpot speculation right off the bonfire;

The Sorcerer reached a revered position within the Melfian Magic Academy eventually becoming interested in methods of resurrection using sorcery, he studied with Felkin at some point which would have influenced the interest in hexes, hexes being sorcery of the Dark, and the Dark being a known source of power to bring back life even if Undead or otherwise Any sorcerer using or interested in hexes or dark magic were met with harsh scolding by other sorcerers and the Melfian Magic Academy with cases like The Sorcerer leading to eventual forced exile Now exiled, The Sorcerer continued his study in resurrection with sorcery and hexes until being executed with his entire village, which lead to the birthing of Navlaan from the creation of a sentient magic in either hex or sorcery form attaching to the The Sorcerer's soul, and Navlaan possessed The Sorcerer's not-living and not Undead body

Still with me? Okay good! Let's continue

Then, post-exile & execution The Sorcerer now existing as one with Navlaan, he traveled to Drangleic along with Felkin because Melfia certainly wasn't a safe place for those who dabble with hexes, and Felkin directly states within his dialogue "I happened upon the Dark. It drew me in…The nebulous Dark…Soon, I was drawn to this land, where Dark runs deeper than anywhere else."

Once in Drangleic, I think both The Sorcerer and Felkin eventually met up with Aldia or were drawn to Aldia due to Felkin being drawn to the Dark, which I also think Navlaan shared in feeling as well Felkin eventually leaves Aldia's Keep taking the various items with him (Chaos Rapier, Chaos Shield, Sunset Staff) becoming an 'Outcast' The Sorcerer remained within Aldia's Keep acquiring the Chaos Set becoming The Royal Sorcerer Navlaan (similar to Aldia's warlocks / Prowling Magus) and helped Aldia with various experiments, pyromancies, weapons, and I'm inclined to believe Navlaan had a hand in creating Shanalotte (Don't worry! We'll get to that in a bit) Eventually The Sorcerer becomes aware of Navlaan un-aliving people and seals their body within Aldia Keep locking them both in place until Bearer of the Curse rolls in to say "Holla!" and either leaves them sealed away, kills them, or let's them out which allows Navlaan to continue his murder spree

Speaking of murder spree!

The Royal Sorcerer Navlaan has Zullie the Witch's set available to trade except for the Black Witch Domino Mask and Black Witch Veil, which are only obtained from defeating Phantoms in Belfry Sol

Due to Navlaan having a thing for invading and murder, I'm inclined to think he has Zullie's armor set because he killed her and could have possibly killed Alva the Wayfarer too, after Alva had 'relinquished his knighthood' and joined up with Zullie (mentioned per the Alva Armor set)

Side note: Within DS3 the Locust Preacher's dialogue mentions '"One was a wayfaring knight, on an endless, forbidden search. Only the Abyss granted closure, if not reunion with his beloved."' The dialogue seems to be directly referencing Alva as the 'wayfaring knight', as well as Alva invades as a Red Phantom within The Ringed City directly nearby The Black Witch Set However, Navlaan having the Black Witch Set and the Black Witch Set also being present within The Ringed City makes things conflicting, unless Zullie had more than 1 set or something?

Anyway No distractions!

Now back to the murder spree stuff And so, let's go!

Part IV: Giving Thanks for Murder

Let's go over what Navlaan gives 'in thanks' for fulfilling his requests on unaliving people Or…not actually killing the 'marks' and bringing him the items he asks for as 'proof'

Dispelling Ring

Navlaan having this Ring makes sense, in my opinion, due his Chaos Set having high Fire, Dark, Magic, and Lightning defense along with Poison, Bleed, Curse, and Petrification resistances Having this ring adds onto all that protection, which makes sense to me because Sorcerers are all about that power and protection especially in DS2

As to how he may have acquired it; Olaphis existed during the time when Bastille (known as Lost Bastille when Bearer of the Curse shows up) became overflowing and many sorcerers with pyromancers were pushed to the South, so, I think it's possible this ring made its way to Melfia and The Sorcerer (before Navlaan's existance) either bought it, found it, or stole it

For context: the Warped Sword description mentions 'A curved sword forged from the soul of the Flexile Sentry…The sentry crammed inmates of the overflowing Bastille onto a rickety ship, and cast them out to the open sea. The majority of them drowned or starved, but a few hardy survivors made land to the south, and imparted their knowledge of sorcery to the people there.'

Simpleton's Spice

The benefit of 'this spice makes a chosen spell attainable with 1 less intelligence' is great for any spell user, however, I think the requirements for using it is more intriguing

The Simpleton's Spice needs to be brought to Magerold of Lanafir for it to be used, and Magerold mentions via his dialogue: '"I'm mainly a treasure hunter, you see. I'm only a merchant on the side."', and the Traveling Merchant Coat Magerold wears mentions 'Lanafir is the farthest land to the south and follows a strict edict of isolationism. The rare visitor from Lanafir is always a little odd.'

Magerold is also very aware of Petrified Eggs, one being on a Dragon Shrine (which Magerold knows about) within Dragon Aerie (a place Magerold must have had access to at one point or at least knew about along with where the Petrified Egg was), and he offers Bearer of the Curse to join the Dragon Remnants covenant if Bearer of the Curse gives him the Petrified Egg

Being how involved Aldia was with Dragons and Navlaan working with Aldia at some point, I think it's possible Magerold may have crossed paths with Navlaan within Aldia's Keep while Magerold was treasure hunting throughout the lands

Forbidden Sun

Not much to say about this other than although it doesn't directly mention Navlaan creating the pyromancy, I think it's reasonable to speculate he had involvement with its creation because it was 'developed in Aldian rites.' and 'What could possibly justify excessive destructive power? In all likelihood, the madmen of Aldia never even questioned the need.'

Unleash Magic

If the Forbidden Sun pyromancy wasn't enough of an example, destructive sorcery and pyromancy that comes with a cost and required sacrifice to create is nothing short of a common occurrence from Aldia and within Aldia's Keep

Now, let's take a look at the items Navlaan requested as 'proof' then determine if he cared more about the murder of those individuals Oooooor If there is more to why he wants the items than he's letting on…

And so, let's go!

Ladder Miniature

I'll be direct with ya, I have no clue why Navlaan would want this other than a keepsake trophy knowing or thinking Laddersmith Gilligan is dead The description mentions it 'is sold at an exorbitant price', however, I get the impression something like that isn't of Navlaan's interests Navlaan mentions the Ladder Miniature being a 'trinket', so, I'm leaning more towards it's just a trophy of success in un-aliving one of his 'marks'

Cale's Helm

The helm doesn't look like anything special and the item description pretty much states the same by mentioning 'Apparently Cale procured this inexpensively second-hand, but it's surprisingly well-made.'

However, the Helm does something that is rare within any other gear in the game - it gives +2 to Dexterity and +1 to Endurance Navlaan also directly mentions the helm and calls it 'strange', and let's be honest here anything that's strange to Navlaan is likely really something odd or unnatural However, considering the stat increase isn't directly mentioned with the item description it's uncertain if Navlaan would be aware of this and the argument can be made on this being an unsupported speculation

Sunset Staff

Via the Staff's description mentioned previously, it was 'forged in Aldia' and is 'particularly powerful for casting hexes., while being able to cast sorceries as well When Navlaan tells Bearer of the Curse to kill Felkin he doesn't mention anything about Felkin or any regard to why and that Felkin is a "formidable foe", which is very different than when Nvlaan speaks of the other individuals he wants dead I think that's because Nvlaan having Felkin as a 'mark' is personal

The Sunset Staff also mentions 'Those invited to the manor disappeared, replaced over time with malformed beasts that roamed its halls.' I'm inclined to believe Felkin became an enemy of Nvlaan when Felkin had left or escaped Aldia and Aldia's Keep taking various items and knowledge of the Dark with him Even if Nvlaan is capable of casting Hexes without the need of a Chime or Staff, having the Sunset Staff in his possession would be another powerful item within his repertoire

Aged Feather

Wanting this item is self explanatory because of its ability to be used repeatedly as a means of quick-travel, which is likely how Shanalotte was able to travel long distances quickly

If you release Navlaan from the sealed barrier his dialogue will be the same regardless of if you complete all of Navlaan's requests of murder-death-killing

(If you're Human and release him) The Sorcerer: '"By the very gods…What have you done…You've really done it…You'll never escape him…"'

(If you're Hollow and release him) Navlaan: '"Hmgh…I hope you appreciate the ramifications. Well, no matter. What's done is done. Besides, I've found myself a new mark…Gah hah hah…I'll spend some time travelling the lands…Slowly tracking my new mark…"'

Nvlaan will then invade at various locations throughout Drangleic if Bearer of the Curse is in Human form This happens if we complete his tasks or not and I still believe having an item like the Aged Feather would only support Navlaan's thirst for murder throughout the lands

Also, I believe wanting Shanalotte dead could be a personal matter because of how he speaks about her within his dialogue For context: '"Once she is dead, I will have no regrets, and I will be content to remain here."'

The 'regrets' Nvlaan speaks of could be related to what Shanalotte mentions within her dialogue: "I was born of dragons, contrived by men. By ones who would cozen fate herself…They are the ones who created me. But they failed. I did not come out as intended."

For a relentless murderous blood-thirsty entity like Navlaan having a regret to the point where he's not content until it's dealt with tells me Shanalotte means more than a mark or regret, she's a failure in his eyes and erasing that failure feels better to him than knowing she's still existing within the world

And that's it! You made it to the end.

This entry in my crackpot connections and speculations was rather lengthy, and that's something I do not regret the slightest because I had a lot of fun putting it all together and typing it all out For me, this kind of stuff feels like I'm going about a short journey of adventure to hopefully find new and exciting things

If you enjoyed this or it has helped you in one way or another that's an extra bonus flask of Awesomesauce Estus for me

However, if that's not the case, that's okay Simply being here for the ride is fun too!

Until next time!

#Dark Souls 2 #Royal Sorcerer Navlaan #Crackpot #Speculations #Soulslore

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strawberry-metal · 2 years ago

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Considering how Narancia was during the Death Loops arc, how would he have reacted if he found out about Fugo's unrequited crush/love for Sakura?

Ok I'm gonna provide some lore for both context, and for the fact that it will technically answer this question, but I gotta give a trigger warning for self harm and suicidal thoughts. Click read more if reading that won't trigger you.

We technically get an answer to this during Rei in the Illusion World Fernande creates as the council tries to punish the witch and warlock for the many things they've done that go against the mages code. I'm just gonna copy and paste here from the writing what Fernande did in the illusion world (also I'm just gonna spoil this, Fernande is speaking with Granny Ann at the end, but Ann's words are not listed, they're for your imagination):

*The unconscious mind is followed by a long silence, the world that they wake up to is very different*

"Saki... your interference wasn't too big of a problem. If anything it proved quite entertaining. How just your presence alone could change the outcome of a world so greatly....however you advocated for them. You supported them, and you were always able to keep Narancia calm. You may remain, but you will return to your timid self."

"Mista, you weren't afraid to speak up and try to snap him out of it whenever his delusions acted up. One time you both clashed so bad it got you both killed. It's mostly the women here who became a problem, but... if I leave you be, you will interfere. You simply have too much love and passion, you're also reckless. I'll simply have to make you more apathetic and lazy. But don't worry.... you will still have the others, as well as your skilled gunmanship."

"Yasha. You're very close to Saki. If she changes so suddenly that definitely won't go down well with you. Not to mention, you're very blunt and speak your mind. You're also most likely to interfere. I will simply make you what you claim is a doormat. Yamato Nadeshiko. You'll still get along with everyone...but now you'll never speak out."

"Everyone else can just do with a simple memory alter...but....hmm....if you two end up getting together again, it'll be a problem. I hate to interfere with someone else's love affairs to stop this one but..."

"....Fugo. You'll do. You never truly got over her, have you? You still have feelings for her deep down... perhaps if it was you who confessed and got with her, so much of this chaos could of been avoided. This is your last chance."

".....What's that....?"

"No....I will be keeping close watch for anything else that needs altering, I assure you...."

"Hmm.....?"

"Yes. I promise you it will be most entertaining...."

"But...isn't that all you ever care about? A cure for your boredom?"

"....Forgive me, I spoke out of tone. .....Yes, I shall get started right away."

Mareike was also sealed away in one of Sakura's earrings and it needed to be broken open to release her, which sends Sakura into a spiraling rage because that earrings was her first ever, a gift from her dad, and the wounds of her parents dying over and over are still too fresh. Fernande at one point tries to get Setsuka to get with Narancia when she sees his deteriorating condition, to which she refuses and leaves, and the witches, Lucy and Cressidia, help to free everyone by giving a crystal that helps with rememberance. Ultimately, everyone breaks out of the illusion world by their own power and sealed away memories, the crystal only helps. Which eventually leads to the final duel with Fernande. I've talked about this before I think?

However I still haven't answered your question have I? Sorry, I just wanted to provide more context and lore while I was at it, heh. But as you read, that means Fernande tried to make Fugo and Sakura into a couple. (Obviously they both break out of it and it doesn't last. Sakura almost dies from her attempt though as the spell is way stronger on her than anyone else and Giorno has to heal her, as the spell was so strong it tried to kill her.) Narancia's reaction? It was violent.... but he didn't attack Fugo. He had violent thoughts of attacking Fugo and in response to those thoughts he instead harmed himself. He clawed at his own arm until it bled and wanted to take his life with his knife to which Bruno confiscated it before he had a chance to.

All Narancia ever wanted was a family. He got that with the Bucciarati Squad. Narancia lost his mom at age 10 and his father was a piece of shit, and his 'bro' from the streets betrayed him, and all his street 'friends' left him. Narancia values loyalty and wanted a group he could call home, a group that could be a found family. Narancia just. Wants. Love. He would rather die than cause harm to any of the gang members, that includes Fugo.

So this is how he reacted. I imagine that his reaction if he ever found out about his actual crush would probably be similar. He hates that he has these terrible thoughts, and he doesn't want to hurt his family.

#lore #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #cw yandere #yandere #cw self harm #cw suicidal thoughts #Sakura Amakura #au #alternate universe #Narancia Ghirga #Pannacotta Fugo

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90sloverwithinsomnia · 3 months ago

Text

Switch Rivals - Chapter 20/21

This is one of many archived fanfics featuring 1st and 2nd generation K-pop acts that I've come across recently. It's all in good fun, and maybe a bit cringeworthy! Just to clarify, I don't post fanfics, so I hope to the people that post and read K-pop fanfics makes sense. Credits go out to the original creator 90s_love.

*Note: Nothing in their post will change (unless necessary), other than being posted here, and the (Link) will be provided to the page that i found it on.

Characters:

Kim Jaeduck, An Seungho (Tony), Moon Heejoon, Jang Woohyuk, Ahn Chilhyun (Kangta), Lee Jaewon (H.O.T.), Eun Jiwon, Lee Jaijin, Kang Sunghoon, Ko Jiyong, Jang Suwon

Summary:

Sechskies has gone too far and Tony can't take it anymore.

Chapter 20: Threats

It's been months since Tony's (actually Jaeduck's) accident. He still hasn't woke up and Tony was starting to get more worried by the second.

"Wake up. Wake up." (Tony)

"Chanting "Wake up" is not going to help." (Heejun)

"Still, it's been months and the reverse potion only works if both of us are conscious." (Tony)

"I know what you mean but the only thing now is to be patient." (Woohyuk)

Tony sighed and looked at the unconscious Jaeduck. The others were also worried about him.

Meanwhile, on Sechskies side...

"Where is he?" (Jiwon)

"I'm not telling." (Suwon)

"And why not?" (Jiwon)

"It's his hiatus and I promised him." (Suwon)

"Hyung. Being mad isn't helping." (Jiyong)

"Suwon. We realized what we were doing. Even Jiwon hyung." (Jaijin)

"And we want to apologize." (Sunghoon)

"Well that's gonna have to wait." (Suwon)

Suwon left them and went to the hospital to check on Jaeduck. The others decided to follow him. The followed him to a hospital but were stopped by one of the attendants.

"I'm sorry. This hallway is restricted except for a few."

"But our friend went in there." (Jaijin)

"He's one of the people who have permission. And you do not."

"Can you tell us who's the patient he's visiting?" (Jiwon)

"That, I can't tell either."

"What is up with people these days?" (Sunghoon)

"Restricted areas? Suwon went in it. Could it be Jaeduck?" (Jiyong)

"I don't think so. The news said that Jaeduck carried Tony An." (Jaijin)

Tony was in the hospital room for days and still nothing happened.

"Mister Kim. I think you should go home."

"Not until he wakes up." (Tony)

"I know you're sad but we can assure you that he's alive."

"Then, I'll come back tomorrow. Thank you, doctor." (Tony)

He went home and saw the merchant reading a magazine.

"So, how is he?" (Merchant)

"He's still unconscious but is still kicking." (Tony)

"That's nice to know." (Merchant)

The merchant looked at Tony as he was looking at a picture of him and Jaeduck together on vacation.

"You miss him, don't you?" (Merchant)

"Yes. All the time." Then, Tony gets a phone call. "Hello?"

"Hyung!" (Suwon)

"Suwon? What is it?" (Tony)

"The others..." (Suwon)

"The others what?" (Tony)

"Their threating me to tell them everything!" (Suwon)

"What?! Where are you?!" (Tony)

"In waiting room 267 in the company building." (Suwon)

"I'm coming! This has gone too far." (Tony)

"I'm coming with you." (Merchant)

"No. It's too dangerous." (Tony)

"I'm the reason for all this. I should be responsible." (Merchant)

"Okay. If you know what you're doing." (Tony)

They rushed to the DSP building and ran to room 267 to see Suwon tied up in the chair with his mouth taped.

"Okay. This is really bad." (Tony)

They freed Suwon and he cried.

"Hey... Don't cry." (Tony)

"I... was so scared." (Suwon)

"You did well. I'm proud of you." (Tony)

"Well, well. Look you showed up." (Jiwon)

"Eun Jiwon. Don't you think you took this a little too far?" (Tony)

"Watch your mouth, Kim. And call me hyung." (Jiwon)

"How can I if you are even treating Suwon like this?" (Tony)

(And also, in reality, we're the same age.) Tony said in his mind.

"Jiwon hyung. Really! We shouldn't do this." (Jaijin)

"You too, Jaijin? What should I do as a leader to get you to do what you're supposed to do?" (Jiwon)

"How about you give us some freedom to let us say our opinions?!" Tony yelled at him.

They others, except Suwon and the Merchant, were surprised that "Jaeduck" had to confidence to yell at them.

"You've been treating me like trash and now you're being nice to me?! What good does that bring?!" (Tony)

"Nevermind that. Who's that guy?" (Sunghoon)

"I'm the merchant responsible for their first accident."

"So, you're the one who sold the death posion?" (Jiyong)

"Luckily, it wasn't the death posion, so no." (Merchant)

"So what was it?!" (Jiwon)

Tony, Suwon and the merchant hesitated for a good while. They looked at each other and feels like they should know the truth.

"It was a switch posion." (Merchant)

"Switch posion?!"

"Like switching places?" (Jaijin)

"Yes. Which means the Jaeduck that has been with you for the past year wasn't really Jaeduck." (Merchant)

"So... who's this right now?" (Jaijin)

The person who was supposed to be Jaeduck took a deep breath in and out until saying, "Tony. Tony An."

"WHAT?!"

#kpop fanfic #old fanfic #1st gen kpop #2000s kpop #kpop #h.o.t #sechskies

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kafkaoftherubble · 6 months ago

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宛如庄子梦蝶

“我是庄周梦到自己是蝴蝶，还是蝴蝶梦到自己是庄周？”

It was, after all, just a dream in the end. It isn't real.

I like dreams that make me feel happy and great, but I also know from our experience that what follows a good dream is often a bad day. Or at least, a disappointing day.

Yea, I know what you're thinking. Maybe the dream was so nice it set us up by raising our expectations. That's dopamine-rigging already; we are expecting rewards in spite of legitimate reasons to form such an expectation in the first place.

Yea, several of us have already hypothesized this. This is why I tried to keep my expectations low. It's just a dream! It's just a dream. The only thing that's real is this precious, rare type of happiness—the joy of getting something you secretly want but rarely grasp in the real world—that only rare dreams seem capable of providing. I tried to turn it into fuel for practice; feelings are impermanent, but if I can use it to propagate good effects...

Oh, it didn't work, of course! This is Lyndis we're talking about, after all. Most of the time, a lot of our efforts don't net us the results we had hoped to gain.

I mean, surely it's not a fault of "heightened expectation" if, say, you feel a bit of a crash from good feelings when your day starts with a passive-aggressive tract from the-other-person-in-the-house about why you keep "forgetting this" or "doesn't know how to take care of yourself" or "has your age even taught you how to act like an adult already"?

I pretended not to hear her for a while, and then I revealed I heard her by joking, "Wow, did you wake up this morning and decide to roast me for exercise? That's a lot of repressed complaints you've got there."

Did it matter what she said in response? Nah.

I wondered if we'd grown too attached if They could easily torment me by suggesting ways to see "for yourself" that ya know, the other person doesn't really care about you as much as you do.

How many times have we been down this thought already? Plenty of times, right? But why is it so hard to refute?

It's against our principles to wish for something against reality, but I wished the feelings from that dream weren't impermanent. In there, I was so assured that I was important to them, exactly as much as I valued them. But out here, suddenly, I'm not at all confident about the equivalence of values.

I wondered if my dream was a wistful one, after all. Why did it feel like I was falling short when they talked about someone else who was legitimately important to them? Why did hearing about someone yearning for someone else—because, again, they haven't seen each other for a while—somehow feel like a sting? Am I boring to them? Have I finally spoken so much that I'm finally annoying to them?

There's no reason to think this, and yet... while I so outwardly express how much they mean to me, and how much they occupy my thoughts, and how even a dream like that could make me so happy ( it's like I've finally gotten something we so rarely get)... the opposite didn't seem true, at least from our point of view. I don't feel as assured as I was in my dream. They are asking me questions I can't answer confidently.

The blackout on Monday, I think, made us realize something. A lot of the chatter after we recovered was about them. "Oh, will this worry them?" "Oh, will we inconvenience them if this happens in front of them?" "I gotta tell them this!" "I really hope I don't die so soon, because what about them?" "I'm scared and I wanna tell them that. I hope I can get some solace from them."

"Oh, but if they were worried or concerned, then why doesn't it feel that way?"

"What do you mean? Of course they are concerned!"

"Are you sure? They don't sound like that at all. They sound corporate, don't you think?"

"No, they don't! ...Right? Look, they just aren't good at expressing their feelings, man!"

"You're not good at that either, but man, you tried a shit fuck ton, don't you? You tried so fucking hard. You practiced a lot. You tried stringing so many types of words together. Tried to imagine how it'd sound to the other side so that they could feel what you're dying to get across, despite The Gap No One Had Been Able to Cross. But is the same effort coming from the other side?"

"You don't know that!"

"You don't know enough to refute me either."

"It won't hurt them even if you die in an accident, mate. That's very likely the truth."

"They will move on real easily. They have like, what, a shit ton of friends they value anyway. Best part is, they are all within meeting distance. Unlike you. At best, you're as real as a bunch of digital codes across the internet. Yall never grow up together. Yall never hung out together for real. You don't feel as real as their other friends. Real friends. You're like a chatbot with a human's history."

"Don't believe me? Look at who they dream of the most. It ain't you. It's this kickass dude they think highly of! Sounds like a way better conversational partner too. You know how much they wished they could be seen as a guy, and this dude, oh, he made them feel like a guy. Can you? ...Oh, I wish I could meet him and befriend him too! He sounds like a real personality with an interesting life and a way cooler future, hahaha!"

"Have you ever like, wondered if you got into their way for a lot of things? Like maybe they would have found someone better if it weren't for you getting in the way."

I think I'm clinging. Surely, the only reason why They could say something like this, knowing it definitely gets me, is because I've grown more attached than the First Lyn Who Started This had decided.

But how can I not cling? It's not like I want to. Blacking out for the second time, like that, with no build-up, and in public... that shit changed the most recent Lyns after it. It felt like at any time, I could just cease to exist. Mortality felt like it could happen in seconds, without warning. What if the next one is right next second, and this time, I don't recover? What if it happens while I'm asleep?

Oh, I confided about that, too. But they said, "Well, I think I'd rather die not knowing than being conscious. If that's how it's gonna be, then that's how it's gonna be."

But you don't have any fucking experience blacking out now, do you? You don't know how terrifying it is to be forcefully unconscious. Or to have your life terminated before you've done much. You don't think it's unfair because you're not like us; you're probably satisfied with how your life has been led thus far, and honestly, why won't you? You're not some failure the way we are. Imagine working so hard only to die a mediocre failure, unconscious, not even knowing you're dead. There ain't gonna be someone telling you 'Oh, hello Lyndis, you're dead now, but really, you sure were a useful person whose existence had benefitted many' because there ain't no afterlife. It's fucking silence, just like that blackout before the hallucinations kicked in! And then what would I have left behind? Nothing! I would have left behind nothing! Not a useful web of actions now, would it?

And so much of what I think about is you. But you won't think about me as much, will you?

So why am I clinging if I'm growing certain that you don't actually feel the same way as I do?

Oh, I know. It's because I really hope you're that one person I can feel the thing I felt in my dream.

But it's not doing you or me good. Worse, I'm afraid I'm going to suffocate you with all of this. This is not the kind of friend we wanted to be to you. This doesn't help improve your well-being, which is against our goal.

Could it be that, to actually improve your well-being, I have to put in more distance? Maybe other people being attached to you is good. But us being attached to you is not good. We have way too much baggage—as expected from someone who's been ghosting around for way too much of their life. This is what the Gap was for, isn't it? We're like a hungry ghost who has been hungry for so long that the first person kind enough to actually notice us and feed us becomes someone we want to swallow whole.

... Fuck, who the fuck sneak in that "Hikaru" comparison?! Goddamn it! This isn't fiction! ... I know it resonates, so what?! This entry isn't meant for anyone to read, so what's the point of drawing a fictional analogy?

I really hate that panel when he went to that auntie's house and talked about how he can totally take it because he's a monster, and then just sobbed on the table despite voicing some inclination to be detached from Yoshiki because "ughh, I don't want to be alone, ugghhhh. Yoshiki, ughhhhhhh." I hate it too, Previous Lyn.

I just hate how much I understand how he feels.

I actually hate "Hikaru" more than Kei sometimes. At least Kei was more like the Lyns in a more distant past, even if some of those traits lingered. But "Hikaru" feels too close to the ones we are now.

I really, really hate it.

#a piece to the rubble

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staronline · 10 months ago

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beneath the charge of questions , zack takes note of the way milo's eyes dig into him , sifting him for answers. though responding to them all now feels unnecessary , like he'd only be answering them to prove a point and not to satiate any genuine curiosity. sure , it would be good to know these sorts of things about the person you're romantically involved with and zack truly didn't have a problem sharing — he never has , not with milo. but he's never been asked to do so and to bring it up on his own seems shallow ; flaunting a wealth that wasn't even his own.

“ milo , if you want to know these things then we can talk about it another time — but not here , like this. ” both for the sake of proper setting and the pair of relatives they were probably keeping waiting back inside. “ it's not like i'm keeping any of this from you . . it's just never come up. ”

as he goes on , the younger's eyes are lit with an inner fire that zack tries desperately to understand , and slowly he does , each example provided painting the picture for him and knocking his gaze lower and lower , one by one. eventually he's stuck staring at the dirt beneath him and he doesn't look up even when he hears the other leave his side because — god , it kind of is weird , isn't it ? and zack feels a little ashamed that he needed it spelt out for him to realize the other side of it.

though eventually his eyes lift to milo and he sees that he's tense , more dismayed than anything now as he speaks. zack doesn't know what's going through his boyfriend's head , what kind of thoughts must be drawing behind the frustration worn on his face. but the older boy sits along the table beside him , reaching a gentle hand back to milo's leg as if to stop the spin of such thoughts. “ you're not a bad boyfriend. it's okay to not know everything yet , ” and he wishes he could say more then to assure him , but the words don't come as easy as he hopes. “ um , look , i can talk to my mom. i can ask her to see if there's a job at the university she works at or something . . i don't know . . but i'll ask. i'll fix it. okay ? ” the palm on milo's thigh tightens and zack lowers his head just a little , bridging the gap between their faces , “ okay ? ”

A PART OF MILO FEELS GUILTY for disturbing the nice and friendly family night and turning things as serious as they've become , but that's the thing : this should be taken very serious. luckily zack takes the first step before he has to and milo gets up , eyebrows no longer furrowed but face stoic. he supposes it resembles the grumpiness he shows when he's awake and hasn't had any breakfast yet.

'' that wasn't obvious already ? '' he doesn't blame it on zack , doesn't have anyone to blame really. not even his boyfriend's parents can take the blame for this. '' why don't we ever talk about your parents ? what do they even do ? are they really that rich that they can afford a cleaner every week ? '' the questions spill like a waterfall between his lips and he feels a little dizzy that he isn't able to answer any of those questions. he's only ever been busy with zack that he hasn't thought of the boy's family for a second. '' my mom works for your parents. as in , she cleans their house , as in — ''

a part of him feels a flame of fury inside his chest and yet again , no one to take it out on. zack doesn't deserve that. he looks confused and lost and milo genuinely believes he had no idea of this. he couldn't have. fuck. '' she needs your family's money to live. she makes their beds and cleans their bathroom so she can make our food. my boyfriend's parents provide for my mother's wealth. that's weird , zack ! '' he's not mad at zack. he swears he's not. hands clench into fists and he sits down on the wooden table standing in the middle of their little garden. '' and i just feel weird for not knowing ... that ... about your parents. i feel weird and ... a bad boyfriend for not asking or knowing. ''

#╰ ♡ . 𝐳𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐝𝐨. … ( 𝟎𝟎𝟏 ) thread.#lowskey #babies.... pppookies...#kiss and make up....

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shiny-jr · 2 years ago

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Have you ever thought of the imposter au with the staff of raven College? I could just imagine Crewel being the reason the reader is summoned to twst while not fulling knowing it (Probably coming in at the end to safe then after realize shits going down). That and maybe Crowley and Vargas going full mad dog and just chasing the reader like crazy. Maybe Trein tripping over his cat while chasing and reader/imposter feeling bad about it. Along with Sam using shadow creature to track the imposter down. Just a fun ideas I've been having, feel free to ignore.

I have thought about it before. I believe I even once mentioned that I would make a separate post for it eventually. Recently been thinking about platonic yan staff, so like fatherly type stuff for those of you with daddy issues.

Platonic yan Crowley! Wants to be your father figure so bad. Why won't you let him take you under his wing? You'd be his little fledgling! Ah, he must do his best to protect you! He is the headmaster of a prestigious school with unfortunately many arrogant troublesome students. Often he'll dramatically lament, inquiring why you don't wish to spend time with your dear old father? When you reply with a deadpan, "You're not my dad, Crowley." He'll break out into a melodramatic wail, oh woe is him that his own child does not wish to partake in any activities with him! Ah–– a way home, you ask? Well, during one of his many hours long searches in the library to find you a way home, something he adamantly assures you he's been doing, he had the most profound idea which he shall so graciously share with you! Why not stay in Twisted Wonderland and allow him to formally adopt you? Then you shall be his child and he will be sure to provide you with all the love and care you need! Isn't he a genius with such boundless benevolence?

Platonic yan Divus! Probably believes the whole world is out to get you. You poor little thing, far from home, lost and afraid, with no where else to go. Eventually he'll begin to doubt that Crowley is taking proper care of you, and deem his efforts as inadequate. Look at this wretched place, an old dorm filled with cobwebs and ghosts is supposed to be your home? An old oversized uniform and a handful of cheap worn clothes from the shop are all you have to wear? And your classmates, his own students, oh he knows what they're like. A bunch of ruthless mischief making pups! This is unacceptable! Divus will spoil you like his own. He has a soft spot for you, so when he's improving your conditions and getting rid of the old dirtied items, you hold up that feral monster cat and go, "Can I at least keep Grim? Please?" Ah, the puppy eyes. How could he say no to you? But that cat is getting a bath first. Oh, and he's incredibly wary of all the students. In his eyes, none of them are good enough to be your friends, and he's beginning to suspect all of them of trying to take advantage of you. Listen here, darling, you are not to trust any other men besides himself, are we clear?

Platonic yan Vargas! Oh god, not another one. Somehow, he's worse than the other two dads you've acquired. Especially because he thinks your escape attempts are some sort of crazy athletic training regimen. He's come to think of your monthly escape attempts as survival training, so not only is he enjoying himself but he's more than capable of keeping up and capturing you. Then dragging you back to NRC with a proud grin, boasting about how you got so much further than last time! "Let me go! Let go of me!" That's the spirit, he cheers. Seems like you're raring to train again, but now's the time regain your energy for next month! Eagerly tells you stories about his youth, how he was the strongest and most popular! He really wants you to look up to him, and he likes to think he's your favorite dad. Especially when it comes to Crewel, let's say they have differing opinions on how to properly care for you. While his counterpart prefers to pamper you, Vargas believes you need more activity and excitement in your life! Wouldn't you agree with him? Come on, give him a smile now!

Platonic yan Trein! The only real dad on the list. He has two sons that are already full adults now, and he believes you'd get along wonderfully with them. You would be their new younger sibling. "That's kinda... dumb. I'm not their sibling though." You comment, as he responds, it is not foolish to want all three of his children to get along. It's a bit annoying that you can never really get on his nerves, despite him being notoriously strict and a little intimidating with his stoic look. But like most of the dads on this list, he too has a weak spot for you. He still expects you to be a well-behaved though. No matter what you're like, he can handle it. After all, he's been a professor at NRC for so long, that he's seen and taken care of countless students. If you're looking for quiet time, he's probably the best to be with by far. He'll let his feline familiar Lucius sit on your lap as he serves you a platter of cookies with a hot beverage. When you do try to get on his nerves for whatever reason, it never works, so you end up plopping down beside him on the couch in defeat, angrily opening a magazine as he calmly continues to read a book. Now that the opportunity has present itself, he'd like to have a word with you. You should know that you are his pride and joy. That being said, should any of his students be pestering you, inform him immediately and he'll handle it promptly.

Platonic yan Sam! Most likely the best one to be with. It doesn't even feel like he's trying to be your dad, he's more like a cool but still concerning weird uncle. But if you had to classify him as a dad, he'd be the chill one. Although it is scary that he seems to know way more about you than you ever told him about. You suspect it has something to do with his friends on the other side. Whenever you're not with him, you have spied an oddly moving shadow or two... But the upside about that is, he always seems to know what you want. If it's small, he'll offer it for free. If it's a bigger item, he'll let you have it if you work the shop with him for a few hours. What's say you, huh? Sound like a deal? He'll entertain you a trick or two while you're here! Sam likes to call you his little good luck charm, because you tend to bring in more customers and just put him in a good mood. He choses to trust you, more than the other dads, probably because he knows you can't escape because he's always watching you somehow. You go on ahead, just be back by dark, you hear? He wouldn't want to send his friends to force you back home if you stay out late, m'kay?

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