#I wanna eat pussy

[s1lverspr1ngs]

Feeling extra gay tonight idk

[ovaryacted]

I have so many headcanons of Leon, like so fucking many. Maybe one day I’ll actually sit down and type a few of them out even though it’s hard to pinpoint them as concrete ideas.

But one of my favorites is the fact that he knows how to eat pussy. Like I’m sorry, you can say he doesn’t know how to fuck or he’s a little naive/clueless when it comes to the actual fucking portion, but pussy eating is his specialty. He has a pretty face, pretty lips, the type that just looks so inviting and welcoming. He loves it when his face becomes the next IKEA seating best seller. I just feel like he knows what he’s doing, even if he hasn’t had sex in so damn long, he knows what to do with his tongue and his fingers.

Leon is perceptive, he’s smart, and he knows how to read situations and what’s needed to be done so his partners have a good time. I can guarantee you, that man knows when it’s munch o’clock, and frankly I think that’s his actual skill in the bedroom. If I’m gonna be extra real, he prefers eating pussy over actual fucking anyway, he’s a selfless type of guy, doesn’t give two shits about his own pleasure. So long as he gets a taste until he gets lock jaw, that’s all that matters to him. Leon is a sensual lover too, likes intimacy, will hold your hand as his face is between your legs. He’s also the type to fall in love during one night stands, that’s why he’s better off alone cause lord knows he doesn’t need to be doing none of that crazy shit.

Pathetic munch is really Leon’s brand. He’ll prefer to have his nose deep in your cunt and grind his aching cock against the mattress all night long, making you cum on his face over and over again until it’s the last thing he can sense. Hell he’ll die by pussy before he dies for his country. That’s what you call real acts of service for munch nation.

[secretlytranced]

Sit me between your legs, put your brainwashing headphones on me, and have me lick and suck and get you off while your programming sinks deep into my mind

[moghedien]

Shipping Cassandra and Leliana is so funny because I feel like the only people who actually do it have either only played Inquisition or don't think much past "Well they're the Left and Right Hands of the Divine" because you KNOW they only get along to the extent they do in Inquisition because they've never had an actual conversation because the second Leliana opened her mouth about her theology in front of Cassandra, they would have been trying to strangle each other

[bwoahtastic]

I tempted to write the max/Charles a/b/o uni au where Charles pays Max to be allowed to eat him out just cos I feel like writing smut sksk

[thedandeliondyke]

One time this butch ate me out so good i swore god gave me a high five during the orgasm

[butchtranny]

"Hoot," said the owl with his head so white

"a lonesome day and a lonesome night!

Thought I heard some pretty girl say:

Court all night and sleep next day."

"No, no, no." said the turtledove.

"That's no way for to gain her love.

If you want to gain your hearts delight,

Keep her awake both day and night"

~ "The Bird's Courting Song" - Appalachian folk song, specific lyrics from Elizabeth LaPrelle's rendition.

[pinkmirth]

snake got no damn reason to be lookin’ so sexy!

[bl0gger4n4]

If you look like her hit my line🤤🤤🤤 I need her three finger combo!

[snipersfucker]

idk yknow that thing where men's beards would bleach from eating hoohaa too much? imagine that with mirage with his chin just rusting from eating cunt too much oml

i see somebody's trying to be hornier than me in my own house again....... (i absolutely see that happening he's so pussydrunk it's making me wanna break my legs.) & he'd be proud to just walk around like that.... "yeah i eat cunt for breakfast lunch and dinner whatcha gonna do :)"

[supernova351]

Men(?) with Catholic guilt are either the best at eating pussy or scared to touch it

[marley-manson]

Huh, just saw that not everyone takes "Captain Sodom and Captain Gomorrah. He's Gomorrah," as a gay joke. Not adding this to the post going around because I don't want to come across as argumentative or rude, but seeing it does compel me to overexplain why I think it's unambiguously a gay joke lol.

"Captain Sodom and Captain Gomorrah," would be a generic joke about debauchery imo. "He's Gomorrah," is what makes it a joke about gay sex specifically, by pointedly referencing sodomy. Because while technically sodomy refers to a lot of things, based on my own experience and 20th century media consumption I feel like I can pretty confidentally say that in public consciousness, at least in US media, it's functionally a synonym for gay anal.

Like I'm no expert here so maybe I'm wrong and biased in my media consumption and experiences, but if I saw someone on TV using the word sodomy to refer to het sex acts without it being in the context of like, an informative conversation about how sodomy doesn't just refer to gay sex, or like, in the context of a deep south bible thumper type railing against all non-piv sex in antiquated terms, I would be very surprised. I'd at least expect a woman to be specified if it's meant to be het pia, and idt I've ever seen it used as a synonym for blowjobs except in real life 'fun fact' discussions lol. (Also fun fact, cunnilingus is not legally sodomy.)

"He's Gomorrah," also just doesn't function as a joke if it's just referring to general heterosexual debauchery, the whole point of that line is to make the reference to sodomy in particular explicit, in differentiation from Trapper. And in this context Hawkeye isn't calling himself an enjoyer of receiving blowjobs or fucking women in the ass in comparison to Trapper who only has good christian piv sex, he's differentiating himself from Trapper in terms of his effeminacy, something he does often in comedic contexts.

And my impression is that the point of the gay sex jokes in general isn't "Hawkeye is bi representation" or "getting gay references past the censors sneakily," it's "Hawkeye making jokes about being unmasculine which includes making jokes about getting fucked in the ass in an exaggeration of his gender expression, which is not actually all that out there in the 70s counter-culture context."

[sweetbabygirlbee]

ugh i know it’s pathetic how wet and needy my pussy sounds when i play with it after making myself think for hoursss about being used but fuck it feels so good!!

[flying-bi-son]

.

[erzvolnes]

made plans to go out for a walk with my dad Weeks ago. we're meant to go Tomorrow. I get up today and he says he doesnt wanna go anymore. I'm disappointed, obviously, but I say that's okay.

I resign myself to not going, so I don't make any preperations wrt my dog, what im gonna eat (cant exactly stop at subway when im GF). I just figure we can go next weekend.

Dad feels guilty, says we can go after all. I say not to worry, if he doesn't wanna go, he doesn't wanna go. We can do it another time. 10pm comes around and He turns it around and starts guilting ME about how he really wants to go all of a sudden. "We'll leave at 8am. If you're not up by 7 I'll assume we aren't going 😔" DUDE YOU DIDNT WANNA GO. WHY IS IT MY FAULT NOW? I cant take the dog and have nobody to check on her. I haven't been able to find anywhere to eat so now i have to stay up late packing lunches for me and him. It's 2am and he wants me up my 7 so we can get there early enough that he has time to drink when he gets home.

He's usually great but I really cannot fucking stand him sometimes like I can't just LEAVE like he can. I have to actually Make Preparations. He saw I was disappointed and couldn't just Let Me Be disappointed.

It's a minor problem i know im being petty but. im up looking at our cupboards trying to make lunch for us both and im so tired. like its easy for him to just Go somewhere because he doesnt have to think about food, or the dog, or money besides what it costs to drive there. im sick to death of it.

[hungharrington]

i’ve got a wip post floating around somewhere but i can’t find it!! but i’m still quietly writing my loves!! as a treat, have a snippet :D