#I think the thing that scares me the most about performing with the burlesque group is not the actual performance part

[nope-body]

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[noonachronicles]

The Malebranche Pt. 1

Im Changkyun/I.M. X Reader & Lee Jooheon X Reader

Word count: 9.4k

Warnings: There is cursing. It’s a story about demons so...probably a little dark in theme. This is demon smut. I’m not being flippant or dramatic. It’s literally smut with demons. This is 18+. I’m not your mom and I’m not the fan fiction police. So just don’t have unprotected sex and don’t fuck demons. There’s also some edging. 

Genre: Demon AU. Modern Fantasy. Sorta Soulmate AU

A/N: This is for @nemesyis​. You probably just wanted some porn without plot but if you haven’t noticed... I’m incapable. Here is some porn with a light sprinkling of plot for flavor instead. 

‘The Path to Paradise Begins in Hell’ - Dante Alighieri

The Eighth Circle was a beautiful burlesque club. It was expected by many to be a front for a brothel or a drug ring but there had never been any proof of it even after several raids and countless undercover investigations. Everyone just assumed that something illegal was happening there, and no one could blame them. It was a cesspool of sin and debauchery.

The club was located just outside of the city in a three story Victorian style mansion. The inside had been completely gutted and renovated by the owners but the outside stayed essentially the same. Only a new layer of paint had been applied. Wine red paneling, black trim, and gold accents. Gothic Barbies dream house.

Inside there was a large foyer with blood red carpets and gold walls. The ceiling was covered in a renaissance style painting. Though the art was not light and angelic like one might have expected. It was dark. It demons and sin. It was the inferno. Beautifully done, but terrifying if you looked too long or too closely. The foyer broke away into three different theatre style rooms. The Red Room, The Purple Room, and The White Room.

The Red Room was the most popular room, it was the most sinful of the three. Named appropriately for it’s color scheme. Red furniture, red floor, red walls, red velvet panels draped overhead. The only things that weren’t red were the crystal chandeliers. Those were consistent through every room in the house. The Red Room experience stood in the center of the four corners. Night club, burlesque club, strip club, and sex club. Consent was the only rule in The Red Room.

The Purple Room offered a slightly more cabaret atmosphere. Mostly purple everything with silver accents here and there. The performances were rambunctious and inclusive. Despite the dark aesthetic it was a classic good time. Usually The Purple Room housed bachelorette parties and birthdays. Large groups of women just looking for a memorable night out.

The White Room, the third of the triplets, was mostly white with accents of gold. It was the most elegant room The Eighth Circle had to offer. Sheer white fabrics hung from the ceiling along with gold and crystal chandeliers. The floor was a bright white marble laced with rivers of gold striping. The couches and chairs were white velvet cushions on gold framing. Women, scantily clad in white lingerie, carried gold trays filled with champagne in crystal stemware. The White Room was mostly for politicians and businessmen that would bring in out-of-towners to impress and seduce them into working with them. Occasionally vanilla couples would partake in The White Room as well if they were trying to spice up a fading love life. Typically if it worked the couples could be found in The Red Room within a week.

The owners of The Eighth Circle were the Malebranche Brothers. Sometimes they were referred to as the Malebranche Twins. Though you’d seen them before in town and couldn’t imagine they were at all related. Most people, however, just called them the Demon Twins.

You would have normally suspected that particular nickname had to do with all of the references to Dante's Inferno that surrounded them whether intentionally or unintentionally. You found it much more likely that the people thought the brothers had a hint of evil in them and less likely that they would have picked up on the literary references. It wasn’t that you thought everyone in town was an illiterate moron. You’d lived in this town your whole life. You knew that everyone in town was an illiterate moron.

The brothers, if that’s even what they were, were young. In appearance they seemed about your age but there was something about their mannerisms that made them seem much older. It’s part of what attracted you to them. They were unlike every other bachelor in this town. It was like they were from somewhere else entirely. A bigger city was your only guess. They had a sense of class and elegance that made them entirely desirable. Unfortunately they weren’t only desirable to you. Every woman and several of the men in town flung themselves desperately at the pair every chance they got. So while you continued to fantasize about them, you knew that’s what they would remain, a fantasy.

From what you knew of them Jooheon was the older of the two brothers but not by much. He was known for his unbelievably plush lips and unmistakable dimples. His hair color usually changed with the seasons but you always thought he looked best with a darker tone. He was also said to be the kinder of the two. He had a pleasantness that his brother seemed to lack, which was probably why he was the one known to take care of the business side of The Eighth Circle.

His brother was Changkyun. He’d been nicknamed the Evil Twin by the people in town. Mostly due to the stern, unimpressed look of his lips when his face was resting. On occasion you’d seen him out to lunch or in a shop with his brother and thought he’d seemed quite playful and even childish. He didn’t scare you too much.

Though you knew Jooheon was meant to be the kinder of the two brothers you would never forget the first time you’d seen them. You were shopping in the city. Jooheon had just stepped out of the car and was headed into a restaurant when he’d turned in your direction, looking just over his shoulder, and his eyes met yours. It was terrifying, just the way it felt, like in that instant he was inside of you.

It was as if he knew every one of your thoughts, every desire. There was just something about him. Lust incarnate with the way your attraction to him tugged at you like there was rope around your waist whenever he was nearby and he held the opposite end firmly in his grasp.    

In that sense you felt lucky that they were a deviant desire and nothing more. Certainly you wouldn’t be able to handle either one of them.

-

Changkyun stood on the third floor balcony that overlooked The Red Room. He was leaning over the banister, soaking in the immoral energies of the night's patrons. A wicked grin grew across his lips as he watched hands grasping flesh. Lips on lips. Very little attention made to who was partaking in who. He loved his work.

“Honey.” he said as his brother moved behind him, not bothering to turn his attention from the activities below.

“Kyun.” Jooheon said leaning against the bannister beside him.

“How are things running?”

“Smooth as ever. Smoother even. Busy for a Wednesday.” Jooheon shrugged, sipping from his glass of bourbon.

“Lucky for us, brother, sin never takes a day off.” Changkyun laughed and snatched the liquor from his brother's hand to take a drink.

Jooheon grew silent, closing his eyes. Changkyun looked over just as they snapped back open to show pitch black orbs. He inhaled deeply, his hand gripping the wooden banister so tightly his knuckles grew white with strain. When he exhaled his eyes lightened to their normal brown.

“She’s here.” he gulped.

Changkyun’s eyebrow perked with mild interest, “Your little townie girlfriend?”

“Don’t be an asshole.” Jooheon glared.

“Where is she? No! Wait!” he chuckled enthusiastically, “Let’s play a game.”

Jooheon shook his head, “I don’t want to play with you. You cheat and you’re mean.”

“Don’t be such a fucking infant.” Changkyun snapped, but his smile had returned in the same blink, “Pleeease, Honey. You never play with me. I’m bored.”

He sighed in quick defeat, prefering to avoid another of his brother's temper tantrums, knowing that Changkyun could always make things worse if he was denied what he wanted.  “What’s the game?”

“If I can figure out who she is on my own, without any hints from you, I get to fuck her.” Jooheon’s jaw clenched, but his brother wasn’t done yet. “I get to fuck her...first.”

“Changkyun.” he growled between tight lips.

His brother only laughed, “Oh please! Please, brother! Who knows if I’ll even be able to figure it out?”

“No.”

“What if I make it a little harder for myself?” he asked, “I only get three guesses.”

Jooheon rolled his eyes knowing full well Changkyun was not going to let it go until he agreed to play. “Fine. Three guesses. No hints.”

“Deal.” Changkyun grinned and held out his hand.

Jooheon grabbed his brother's hand and in an instant they were wrapped in a bind of fire to seal the deal. Jooheon could see the flames dancing in his brothers glistening black eyes, he already felt defeated. His brother always got everything he wanted. Why should she be any different?

After the deal was sealed Changkyun clapped his palms together. “Let’s begin! ONWARD! To the foyer!”

-

You stood at the bar in the foyer suppressing a yawn. Requesting a date on a Wednesday night meant this guy had already been docked points in your book. Being late meant he’d lost even more. Mostly you just hoped he wasn’t going to stand you up. You chewed on the stem that had been attached to the cherry that came with your drink and eyed yourself through the mirror behind the bar.

You looked so good tonight considering the speed with which you had to get ready between getting home from work and the original meet up time. Your dress was stark white and tight against your curves. The hem sat against the tops of  your thighs, not even thinking about nearing your knees. The neck was a deeper v than you normally wore but the white lace sleeves made it seem more classy than slutty, so you thought anyway.

Your blind date was forty minutes late and you had to decide between getting another drink or calling it a night. You lifted your hand to grab the attention of the bartender, ready to close your tab and giving this date a time of death but then you felt it. A tightening in your stomach, you crossed one red stiletto covered foot over the other, squeezing your thighs together and tried to keep breathing. You didn’t know how you knew it was him, you just knew he was somewhere nearby. This wasn’t the first time you’d felt it.

“Did you need something?” the bartender asked. “Refill?”

You shook your head and after a slightly put out look she turned and went to the next guest. Turning around you leaned your back against the bar and searched the room. It didn’t take long before you saw him. Not your date. Jooheon. Standing at the top of the stairs with his brother at his side.

Changkyun was saying something energetically as he looked over the crowd of club attendees. With a gulp you looked Jooheon over. His hair was bright red tonight, the last time you saw him it was blonde, and pushed back off of his forehead. You could see the dip in his cheek from his dimple from where you were, that's how deep it was, and the double slit in his eyebrow.

You bit your bottom lip as they made their way down the stairs, your heart was racing. He’d missed a few buttons on the black silk shirt he was wearing, intentionally you assumed, and you were mesmerized by the thin silver chain around his neck with its pendant that bounced against his bare chest. Your gaze had just made it to the holy grail, a golden snake belt buckle and a pair of tight black, leather pants that had your mouth a confused mixture of desert dry and waterfall of drool.  

That was when you heard, “Did it hurt?”

Moving your focus you met your date, Kihyun, with the single red rose he said he was bringing. “Huh?”

“When you fell from heaven?” he grinned.

Oh. No. You faked your very best chuckle. “That’s cute.”

“I’m Kihyun.”

You lifted the rose he’d handed you, “I’d gathered.”

“I reserved a table in The White Room. People say it’s hard to get a reservation here but honestly I found it easy. I always get into wherever I want probably because-” he continued to brag, not even humbly, but you had stopped listening anyway.

With every step The Twins moved closer. They walked right past you as if in slow motion, the sleeve of Jooheon’s black blazer brushed the back of your hand and you nearly lost your breath completely. Wishful thinking had you believing he’d even looked at you, however briefly. He hadn’t even gotten two steps away and you’d already imagined about four different ways he could take you right then and there. You could probably kill someone if it meant running your hands through his hair, kissing that dimple, knowing that man. Honestly you couldn’t help but to think to yourself that you might have to just sleep with Kihyun tonight even if things didn’t go well because you were pretty sure you were in heat. And why should you have to suffer through the night just because this guy hadn’t yet had the decency to apologize for being an hour late.

“Y/n?” he said, placing his hand gently on your forearm.

You jumped slightly, you were so incredibly wound up. “What?”

“I asked if you wanted to go to our seats now.”

“Yeah, let’s go...” You said with one last longing look over at The Twins.

-

While you were getting comfortable with Kihyun in The White Room, Jooheon was following Changkyun around on his mission through The Eighth Circle. First the foyer, where he would look at every guest and then back at Jooheon to search his face for some sort of slip up. Then The Red Room where he moved around the room in his charismatic way, gently touching guests on their hips or arms, asking them if they were having a good time and trying to read their energy. By the time they stepped out of The Purple Room he’d wasted two of his guesses. Changkyun was furious and Jooheon was feeling hopeful. Only one more wrong guess from his counterpart and he was free to pursue you.

“Give me a fourth guess.” Changkyun huffed, “One for each room and the foyer. It’s only fair.”

“What’s fair is you playing by the rules we’ve already set.” Jooheon declined the request, “One more guess.”

He hoped that in his frustration Changkyun would get reckless with his last guess. Guess on a whim, be wrong, game over. When they stepped into The White Room it was hard for Jooheon to not look directly at you. He also didn’t want to completely avoid you either, as Changkyun would be looking for that as well. His hands were shaking as he made it to the bar and requested a drink to steady his nerves.

Changkyun sighed deeply looking over the room. “Well, she’s definitely in here.”

“What makes you think that?” Jooheon asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“If you were vibrating any harder, every woman in this room would cum in an instant.” He grinned.

Jooheon shrugged, trying to remain casual. “Well, I mean, if you’re sure. You have one guess left.”

“Tiny or tall. Big or small.” Changkyun hummed to himself, “Blonde or Brunette. Virgin or...slut.”

“Are you and your horrid rhyming skills done yet?” Jooheon asked, “Shows about to start. Maybe you’d like to take a break from your boring little game.”

Ignoring Jooheon, Changkyun had a thought. “Maybe she’s neither virgin nor whore. Maybe, maybe she’s part innocence and part evil. You wouldn’t be attracted to anyone too good, that’s bland. But she couldn’t be too evil either or it would annoy you. You need someone just right. A Goldilocks.”

“What are you talking about?” Jooheon sighed. “How could you know what any of these women are like? I’ve never even met her. I don’t know her personality. There’s no way you could.”

“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong, dear brother.” Changkyun grinned and placed two fingers against his lips as he scanned the room. “Eenie meenie...miny moe.”

Slowly he pointed his two fingers out like a gun and took aim with you in his crosshairs. His eyes lit up and his thumb dropped as he released a pop from his lips.

“Found her.” He blew a gust of breath on the barrel of his finger gun and looked over at Jooheon with a wink. “Dressed like an absolute angel but there is... nothing very nice inside of her.”

Jooheon swallowed the lump in his throat. “Fine. Congratulations, you won your dumb little game. Please, don’t do this.”

“What’s the point of winning if you don’t get your reward?” He asked and sneered over at Jooheon who was pouting, “Oh good God. Stop acting like you’re in love with her or something, you don’t even know her. It’s pathetic.”

“If she says no to your advances…”

“Then of course nothing will happen,” Changkyun scoffed, “I’m not a fucking monster.”

“Guess that depends on who you ask.” Jooheon muttered.

“Well, this was fun but I think it’s time to collect my winnings.” Changkyun looked over at Jooheon curiously, “Are you going to watch?”

Jooheon rolled his eyes and finished off his drunk, “Go fuck yourself, brother.”

“Oh but I won’t have to!”  Changkyun laughed to himself as he watched Jooheon storm out of the room.

-

Kihyun had gotten you a new drink before the two of you took your seats in the front row booth he’d reserved for your date. However he’d also talked so much, about himself, that your drink was already down to the ice cubes. You half listened to him as he described in detail what his average work day looked like and half watched the runoff of your melting ice. Taking a sip every time there was enough collected at the bottom of the cup to warrant taking a sip. What felt like three hours, but was only about twenty minutes passed before he finally looked at his watch.  

“Wow, I can’t believe how fast time is flying.” He said with a smile.

“Who knew investment banking was so fascinating.” you offered with mediocre enthusiasm.

“I think they’re really about to get started soon. Would you like me to refill your drink again beforehand?” he asked.

You nodded gratefully, “That would be amazing, thank you.”

“Okay, but last one.” He laughed sliding out of the booth. “No one likes a girl that can’t keep her wits about her.”

Suppressing an eyeroll that hard nearly gave you an instant migraine. The second his back was turned you pulled out your phone and sent a text to the friend that had set you up on this blind date to let her know she was now your ex-friend. You cleared out a few of your awaiting notifications and then before you could even stop yourself your jaw dropped in the biggest yawn you’d ever experienced in your life.

“A yawn that big does not bode well for my business.”

If Changkyun was any other man in the world you assumed you would probably despise him based on his tacky fashion sense alone. Tonight he was wearing a silk, snake print shirt under a purple, velvet blazer. That alone would have been enough to turn you away from any other man, then on top of that his belt buckle was a massive, eye catching, howling wolf's head. Infact, rather than being repulsed by the outfit you found yourself staring quite unabashed as he stood in front of you. His pierced eyebrow was raised as he looked you over, and you noticed the flash of silver on his tongue as it moved across his bottom lip.  

In your head you thought of at least ten clever, sexy comebacks to give him. Ultimately, after too long, all you gave him in reply was, “Huh?”

He snickered to himself, knowing full well he’d already ruffled your feathers and he was only just warming up. “If you’re not having a good time, I want you to know I will make it my personal mission to make sure that you do.”

Shaking your head you blushed, “It’s not...The club is great. Beautiful. Entertaining beyond comparison.”

His eyes darted over to the bar, lingered on Kihyun’s back for a moment, and then went back to you, “Oh no, it’s not...your date? Please tell me you’re not here, in that dress, with someone who is yawn worthy boring.”

Your mouth opened and then you closed it slowly into a smile as Kihyun came back to the table. He handed you your refreshed drink and took his seat in the booth before realizing Changkyun was standing beside your table.

“Hi...can we help you?” he asked, clearly confused.

“How rude of me…” Changkyun held out his hand and Kihyun accepted it. “I’m Changkyun. This is my club. Well, half of it anyway.”

“Do you often walk around to make sure people are having a good time?” Kihyun asked.

“Ahh.” Changkyun smirked, “Only when I see a truly beautiful woman in one of my seats.”

“Yes, well, y/n is a stunning specimen.” Kihyun smiled tightly, “I’d thank you for the wonderful time we’ve been having, but the conversation has been all us. The chemistry...spectacular.”

You could see the look in Changkyun’s eye, the one that said he had something witty waiting on that sharp tongue, but the lights began to dim. “Can I sit with you? Just for the first performance? I’d hate to be in anyone’s way.”

“I don’t think-”

“Of course.”

You and Kihyun spoke together, but ultimately you scooted into the booth further and allowed Changkyun to slip in beside you as the music began and that was the end of the discussion. The room went dark and a bright white spotlight hit the stage where the white velvet curtains parted to show the stage. An old, big jazz band song started to play and you watched wide eyed as a huge silver ring descended from the ceiling and sitting on the bottom arc of the circle was a scantily clad woman. You watched fascinated as she began moving around the ring. Hanging, dangling, contorting her body all around the thin bar.

Taking just a moment to break your gaze away from the stage, you grabbed your drink to take a sip. Your eyes caught Changkyun’s hand, resting on the top of the table, his fingers thrumming against the white table cloth. Silver bands on two of his fingers and black nail polish on three. Placing your glass down on the table, it took maximum efforts not to reach for his hand.

They looked so long and soft. You wanted to feel them and feel them on you. You realized that this might be the closest you ever got to one of the brothers, so you let your eyes wander. Over his hands, over his wrist with the thin silver bracelet that dangled from it, over his body. The rise and fall of his smooth chest, that you could see clearly from the way his shirt rested open loosely. He was leaning back against the booth and his neck looked so long you gulped. His profile was flawless, jaw sharp, chin perfectly curved, nose...god, his nose. There was a smirk across his lips when he turned his face. His eyes locked with yours, refusing to let you go, not that you’d have looked away anyway.

Changkyun lifted his hand to your face, dragging his fingers down your jaw before holding your chin between his fingers. You felt dazed in a way you had never felt before. You leaned towards him, you were nearly there, lips ready to press against the ones that waited there for you. Then you blinked. Just a blink and you were sitting back in the booth, the lights coming up from the end of the performance. Kihyun was applauding enthusiastically and Changkyun was slipping out of the booth.  

“Wait!” you said suddenly. Changkyun turned to look back at you. “Do you...have to leave so soon?”

“Y/n,” Kihyun reached out and placed his hand on your knee, “I’m sure he’s a busy man with a lot to do. Let’s not bother him further. We can go get dinner.”

“Didn’t you say it was your personal mission to make sure I had a good time?”

“I did say that, didn’t I?” he grinned, “I suppose I could spend a while longer with you.”

“...that’s really not necessary.” Kihyun said quietly, but it was pretty clear he was quickly becoming the third wheel on this date.

You bit your lip as Changkyun sat back down next to you. Kihyun watched flabbergasted for several minutes as the two of you flirted right in front of him before he got up with a huff and took off. You felt a little bad but not enough that you would have gone back in time to change anything.

Changkyun, one of the widely sought after demon twins, had his arm over your shoulder and all of his attention focused on you. You pinched yourself several times until you flinched because it just didn’t seem real.

After a few more performances you mentioned needing to think about calling a cab to go home. Changkyun offered sweetly to take you home and you jumped at the chance. This night started out as such a flop and had turned into a fantasy.

“Stay here.” Changkyun said, letting his hand drag over your hip. He’d walked you out of The White Room following the last performance, and into the busy foyer. “I’ll call for the car.”

You inhaled deeply and let out a relaxing sigh. Being around Changkyun had you so tense, so unbelievably aroused. The knot in your gut was screaming for release, and though you didn’t want to be presumptuous you thought you might actually have a chance with him tonight. A big part of you wished you’d caught Jooheon’s eye, but getting to be with either of the twins was more than you could have hoped for yourself.

“Did you enjoy yourself tonight?”

Your blood prickled as Jooheon stepped next to you, his hands in his pockets.

“I..heh...um.” you shook with nerves.

Jooheon just smiled, his dimple digging deeper into his cheek. You wanted to swim in it.

Looking over at you completely he smiled kindly, “Be careful on your way home tonight. We’d like to have you back here again soon.”

“Wow.” You gasped.

You’d never seen him up close before, and honestly you weren’t ready for it. Changkyun was something. Jooheon was something else completely. His eyes were dark but glistened like galaxies. His lips were so...wet. Soft, plush clouds. Your heart was pounding so hard against your chest you were certain it was about to crash all the way through.

“What?” He asked quietly, like a whisper, just for you.

“It’s just..you’re breathtaking.” You’d be embarrassed about saying it later on when you remembered but for now it just had to be said.

He blushed at the compliment. “I could say the same for you.”

There was just something about him. Something inside you was so drawn to something in him. You thought about what it would feel like to just be held by him. He looked like the definition of comfort.

“Y/n.” Both of you turned to see Changkyun, standing in the doorway looking, in contrast, like the definition of devious. “We’re all set, are you ready?”

“Have fun.” Jooheon bowed out and you watched as he turned and left.

“Yeah, ready.” You smiled at Changkyun and he led you to the car waiting outside.

You slid over the black leather of the backseat and Changkyun slid in after. After you gave the driver your address the two of you sat quietly together. Several blocks passed by the window before Changkyun turned to you.

“You prefer my brother.”

“What?” You asked as if you hadn’t just spent the last ten minutes thinking endlessly about Jooheon and his impossible dimple and his unstoppable lips.

“It’s okay. It won’t hurt my feelings.” He assured you.

You sighed, “I don’t have a preference, it’s only that I’d noticed him first.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Why?” Your whole mood dropped.

“It’s just Jooheon is deeply interested in someone right now.”

“Oh…” you didn’t know why it stung so badly, you should have already known someone like him would have someone.

“She was there tonight at the club. Absolutely stunning young woman.”

“That’s so nice...for them.” You wished he’d stop talking about it already.

“It is, isn't it? Then there’s two poor, lonely idiots like us. Right?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

You scoffed lightly, “Poor, lonely idiot...that’s definitely me.”

Changkyun looked down at his lap and sighed, “Well, unfortunately I can’t get you what you want, but I can give you second best if you’re willing to settle.”

“What?” You asked in genuine disbelief. “You...would be interested in someone like me?”

“Not someone like you.” He corrected. “I’m interested in you.”

“Really?” You asked, “I don’t mean to sound...so surprised. It’s just, I find it so very hard to believe someone as handsome as you would be interested in me.”

“Why do you think I spent my whole night with you?” He chuckled.

“Honestly? Pity.”

“Not at all. Not even a little bit.” He looked over at you and smirked, “I spent my night with you in hopes of getting a kiss.”

You practically snorted in shock. “What?”

“Something small. Just to taste you.”

“Are you serious?”

He shrugged, “Only if you wanted it too. ...but since I’m not Jooheon.”

It would have been stupid to waste even another second so you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. You could taste how smug he was. The tip of his tongue swiped at your lips and you opened your mouth to him without hesitation. His tongue was soft and slick with the exception of the little metal ball that massaged your tongue.

You moaned into his mouth while his hands roamed over your body. He’d turned his body to yours, his fingers slipping up the thin fabric of your dress until his hand was your hip and the skirt was pulled all the way up to your stomach. You were a panting, breathless mess and his hands were only urging you further.  

You pressed your palm against his chest, “Changkyun…while this is nice and I desperately want more...your driver is like right there.”

“Who?” He said looking towards the front seat and then back to you, “Minhyuk?”

“Yeah…” you nodded, “He’s probably already heard everything I doubt he wants to see it too.”

“Don’t worry. He’s deaf, and blind...and mute.”

“Your driver is deaf and blind?” You smirked.

“Sure he is.” He leaned in and sucked the skin of your neck until you whimpered . “Isn’t that right, Minhyuk?”

When you looked over you saw Minhyuk's eyes flicker to the rear view mirror and then back to the road.

“See, and mute. Like I said.” he slipped his hand between your thighs, fingers grazing your wrecked panties. “Now tell the truth, since your soaked pussy already has. You kind of want him to watch.”

You shook your head, “I don’t care about that. I just...It’s you. I really want you.”

A fire flickered in his eyes and his chest puffed up enthusiastically, “You do?”

“Well...yeah.” you laughed, brushing his cheek with your hand.

“Then you should have me.” His hand pulled gently on your hip.

The pull wasn’t aggressive, only suggestive, until you were throwing your leg over his lap, and sitting on top of him. As the car moved through the streets the backseat filled with the sounds smacking lips and desperate, lustful moans. His hands spread out over your ass and he brought your hips into his. The size of the bulge you felt between your thighs was more than you could have expected. Your eyes rolled back while your hips rolled forward in a needy attempt at getting the friction you hadn’t realized you were missing out on.

Changkyun sat smug beneath you, enjoying the frenzied way that you thrusted against him. Your teeth dug into his lips. It was as if you’d lost all control. Your animalistic need for him was outweighing any desire you had to preserve an image of a respectable woman. Then you were close, you could taste your orgasm on the tip of your tongue. All you needed was maybe ten more seconds with his bulge. And then it was gone. With a surprising amount of strength he plucked you from his lap and you were back on the seat, stunned into silence.

“It seems we’re here.” Changkyun said calmly as he straightened out his shirt and jacket. “Thank you for a lovely evening.”

“I..umm.” you straightened your skirt down your trembling legs. “Well… thank you for the ride. I appreciate it.”

“I should thank you for the ride.” He laughed and then he asked in a slightly condescending tone, “You didn’t expect me to go in with you did you?”

Too embarrassed to even look at him, you shook your head and opened the door, “Of course not. Uhm, bye.”

You slipped out of the car and began the shameful walk inside. You heard the door shut and were waiting for the car to drive off when you heard Changkyun call out to you.

“Why would I be expected to come inside when you didn’t even ask nicely?”

Turning around you smiled at the sight of him standing beside the waiting car, looking proud of himself for fooling you.

“Changkyun… would you like to join me inside?”

With his hands in his pockets he walked over slowly. Casually, taking in the outside view of your apartment building, until you were standing chest to chest. Leaning down he whispered against your ear, “I would love to come inside of you. Oop, I meant with you.”

Without even asking your brain permission, your hips pushed forward until they were pressed against his. “I-uh…”

“Go on…” he prompted. “Tell the truth. Tell me again what you want.”

He was so close you couldn’t miss the opportunity to taste him again. Kissing softly along his jaw until you met his ear you whispered, “I want you.”

“Want me to what?”

You blushed and shook your head, “Just you.”

“Come on, y/n.” He grinned, “I know how filthy you can get. I just watched you hump me relentlessly in the backseat of my car. Stop playing coy and tell me what it is that you want.”

“I want you to fuck me until I can’t feel my legs.”

He inhaled sharply and stepped back with a pleased smile, “Wonderful. Lead the way.”  

-

Somewhere between your initial excitement outside of the apartment building and the ride up the elevator you remembered that your apartment was a mess. Usually your home had that typical ‘lived in’ feel to it, but it wasn’t a pigsty. However after the hurricane you had become in your attempt to get ready for your date it was a sloppy disaster. You tried to talk  Changkyun into waiting out in the hall while you cleaned up but, too amused by your panic, he refused.

“May I have a look around?” Changkyun asked politely as you hurriedly picked up loose clothes from the floor.

“Sure...it’s messy. Obviously.” You warned, “I hadn’t planned on having anyone up.”

“Not even your date?” He called curiously from the living room as he surveyed your belongings.

You let out a quiet sigh as you considered how to answer him. Shaking your own head in disbelief you said, “I don’t typically do this kind of thing. You know, just… invite people home on the first date.”

Changkyun laughed heartily from the doorway of your bedroom and it made you jump. You hadn’t realized he was right there. “You don’t have to lie for my benefit. In fact I prefer your filthy, slutty honesty.”

Between the suggestive tone of his words and the dark look in his eyes, goosebumps popped up all over your body. He swiped his long, wet tongue over his lips and then casually turned his back on you to continue perusing your belongings.

“Can I get you anything? Water...wine…” you asked, lighting a scented candle and then leaning against the dresser once you’d finished your quick clean.

“Do you have any banana milk?” He asked and looked over his shoulder at your surprised face before he laughed, “I’m fucking with you. I don’t want anything.”

Your thighs rubbed anxiously together as you watched him look over your bookshelf. He opened a few boxes to find letters and photographs before moving on.

“You look like you’re looking for something.” You said with a tiny gulp.

“I am.” He said honestly before tugging open one of your bedside drawers.

“How do you know I even have what you’re looking for?”

He smirked as he made his way around the bed to the second drawer. Placing his hand on the handle he watched your cheeks flush and he said, “You absolutely have what I’m looking for...angel.”

You were practically shaking as he pulled the drawer open. He laughed again before reaching into the drawer and pulling out your favorite teal colored vibrator. Turning towards you he spun it around in his hand.

“Not even in the cute, silk drawstring bag for added privacy. Just sitting right on top where anyone can find it. What a bad girl...” He stepped over to you and dragged the toy against your thigh. “This guy must see a lot of action.”

“Maybe.” You said as he moved the vibrator up under your dress. “Why were you looking for it?”

“I wanted to see what you’re used to.” He leaned in until you felt his breath on your neck. “I wanted to see if you could take me.”

Your eyes closed gently, “And?”

“Inconclusive.” He said inhaling you deep into his chest. “I’ll have to conduct further tests. So if you’d be so kind as to go lay down for me.”

“Okay…”

“So agreeable.” He watched you slip past him and move toward the bed. “Take the dress off first.”

You stopped just at the edge of the mattress and unzipped the side of your dress. His eyes stayed on you as you tugged the dress off your shoulders and slipped it down your hips and thighs until it fell to the floor at your feet. Turning around you looked at him, his head was tilted and there was something evil in his smile as he took you in. Noticing that you hadn’t moved he looked up and caught your eyes and with a small shiver you climbed onto the mattress.

“No bra.” He noted.

“Doesn’t go with the cut of the dress.”

“Interesting that you didn’t plan on having any visitors tonight, and yet you’re wearing such mouthwatering panties. Maybe you’re just the type that owns only fancy matching sets.” He said, pushing himself off of your dresser and moving towards the bed, “If I check your panty drawer what will I find, y/n? A dozen matching lace, satin sets or a mismatched  mess of cute cotton panties with pineapples and puppy dogs on them.”

“What do you think?” You asked softly as he sat down on the mattress next to you and crossed one leg over the other.

“I think I’d prefer you in neither.” He grinned, his pierced eyebrow raised and you realized his comment had been a subtle command.

Biting your lip, you squirmed as you pulled your panties off your hips and down your thighs. Changkyun cleared his throat and held out his hand once they’d unhooked from your ankles. You handed him the laced satin fabric. Fisting them in his hand he brought them to his nose and inhaled deeply with a satisfied groan.

“Mmm. That’s a five star cunt if I’ve ever smelled one.” He smiled, and placed the bundle of fabric in his pocket. His fingers danced across the skin of your stomach, over your hip, and down your thigh. “I’ve already done such a nice job on you. And we’ve only just begun.”

You watched quietly as he pushed your legs open and teased your soaked sex with this fingertips. They slipped over your slick folds, circled your sensitive clit, and dipped briefly into the velvety depth of you. He kept his eyes on your face the whole time, taking in every reaction, no matter how small. No matter how hard you tried to hide it from him, he was learning you too quickly. He lifted his glistening fingers to his mouth and hummed pleasantly as his tongue ran over them.

He dropped his hand down to your mouth and said, “Open.”

You twisted your tongue around his fingers before sucking them into your mouth. When he groaned and his eyes fell closed you wanted to cheer in celebration that you’d finally gotten him. Even if it was small, and even if he was definitely going to own you much harder, you internally celebrated your little victory. After a long minute passed with his fingers in your mouth he removed them from your lips and cupped your face in his hand.

“I...like you.” he said softly, rubbing his thumb against your cheek.

Dropping his hand beside him he picked up the vibrator that had been laying on the comforter. A shiver went through you when he clicked the toy on and brought it between your legs. Your toes were already starting to curl into the blanket beneath you and all he’d done was drag the vibrator over your pussy. He circled the toy around your clit several times before dragging it down and back up. You didn’t know exactly what his plan was but you loved how it felt. Once he’d gotten the vibrator as dripping wet as you were, he pressed it inside of you slowly. Your mouth fell open at the sudden filling sensation of it.

“Touch yourself.” he requested.

As your hand reached down to play with your hardened clit, Changkyun leaned forward and took one of your nipples in his mouth. There was something so...detached and demeaning in the way you were completely naked and exposed while he remained fully dressed. Despite how small he had you feeling, you still felt incredibly powerful with all of the focus being on you. It was surprisingly sexy. You moaned as you felt your oncoming orgasm for a second time that night, while he fucked you with your own vibrator. Your free hand slid up into Changkyun’s hair and massaged the back of his head as he continued to suck and tease your breasts with his teeth.  

“Fuck!” You shouted, back arching off the mattress, “Don’t stop, I’m so close. I’m gonna cum.”

You were right there that moment of agony before the ecstasy. Except ecstasy didn’t come and neither did you. Changkyun had pulled the vibrator from between your legs and turned it off and with the loss of the fill your hand had dropped subconsciously.

“Why?” You whimpered.

This was the second time he’d done that tonight and you were annoyed and furious and so aroused you wanted to scream. He looked down at you, his fingers brushing a few stray strands of hair from your sweat beaded forehead.

He shrugged, “It’s funny. You’re very cute when you squirm.”

He stood up from the mattress and pulled his jacket from his body before folding it and hanging it over the plush reading chair in the corner. He hummed a cheerful song as he walked back to the bed, rolling his sleeves up his forearms.  Standing at the end of the mattress, he looked over you. Grabbing your ankles and he dragged you down the bed slightly until he had you where he wanted you and then he climbed onto the bed between your legs. Spreading your legs wide open he admired what he’d done so far. You laughed to yourself as he inspected your swollen, sticky cunt.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, spreading your lips open.

“Nothing.” you answered quickly.

You gasped as he smacked your sensitive sex, “Don’t lie. Tell me what you think is so funny. I love a good joke just like anyone else.”

“It’s just…” you sighed, “If you’re going to try and eat me out...it’s not going to work. Not after you’ve already gone so hard with the vibrator. It just won’t be enough to get me off.”

He laughed lightly, “Do you mind if I try it? If you think it won’t work, it probably won’t work but, I’d still like to try.”

“I’ve never said no to head before.”

You’d had one boyfriend in the past who always asked you to sit on his face. It was some of the best head you’d ever gotten. The way his tongue got deeper than any other before him, you were sure it was the only way you could come from oral alone. That was until now, until Changkyun.

He started out so timid. Tiny kitten licks, a long slow swipe of his tongue from bottom to top. It was nice but as you’d suspected it wasn’t about to bring you to orgasm. Then he changed tempo and once he had you suspected that his original apprehension was a red herring.  

He pushed your legs open and put the weight of his arms down on them to keep from moving, which was smart because in seconds your body was attempting to snap them shut on his face. He sucked your clit between his lips and beat it senselessly with the tiny metal piercing on his tongue. You’d been wrong, and if he’d asked you would have admitted it readily. However he didn’t ask, he just kept going. You fisted his hair in between your shaking fingers.

“What...the...fuck.” you gasped as he snaked his tongue inside of you.

Not just inside of you, but deep. Deeper than should have been physically possible. There was half a sense of concern, what had he actually shoved inside of you, but the rest of you just didn’t care. The part that didn’t care won over as your hips started to push up into his face, needing more.

“Oh my god!”

Your gasps turned to shouts of pleasure as he brought out his secret weapon. With his tongue impossibly deep inside of you, the piercing massaging your slick sensitive walls you thought you could come like that. Then his nose brushed against your clit. You couldn’t breath. Your eyes blew wide and it felt like everything you thought you’d known about your own body was a mistake.

“Yes!” You screamed out as your hips tried to buck further into his face, “Fuck! YES! Oh god! Oh- shit!”

He kept on and you kept screaming until there was aggressive pounding on your bedroom wall from your neighbor. You knew you should stop screaming, that you should pull yourself together, but Changkyun and his devilish relentlessness wouldn’t let you.

“Fuck! I'm gonna cum! I’m! Gonna-”

Changkyun pulled away from your pussy with a pop. He licked his lips as he pushed himself up off the mattress.

You deflated against the pillows like a sad balloon. “I don’t like you.”

He shrugged, “For a minute there it sounded like you were incredibly fond of me.”

“Why? Why do you hate me?”

“You said I wouldn’t be able to make you cum.” he said innocently, “It would have been so embarrassing for me if I failed, so I thought it would be better to just quit while I was ahead.”

Grabbing the pillow from beneath your head you swung it into his face. He grabbed the pillow with a genuine laugh and tossed it back on the bed.

“You know I was right there. You know you were going to get me off.” you glared. “Asshole.”

Walking around to the side of the bed he grabbed your hips and tugged you ruffly until your legs were hanging off of the edge where he stepped between them. He leaned forward and sucked the skin of your chest between his lips, moving up until he was latched onto your neck. Your arms slid up his back until your hands were hooked over his shoulders, holding him close.

Finally he pulled back slightly and whispered, “Maybe I just wanted to feel you cum on my dick. Would that be so bad?”

“No.” you said breathlessly as the dark look in his eyes washed over your body like a wildfire.  

A gulp traveled down your throat as he stood fully and removed his belt and unzipped his pants. “Flip over for me.”

“I want to see it.” you said curiously. 

“Fine.” he smirked and placed his hands on his hips. “Go ahead.”

Without a second thought you sat up on the bed and reached to unbutton his pants. You dragged them down his hips just slightly, along with the black boxer briefs beneath. Then, teeth digging anxiously into your bottom lip you freed the massive bulge you’d enjoyed so much earlier in the car.

“Oh.”

It was what you could only describe as the holy grail of dicks. Smooth and long, with perfect and even coloration. It was pretty. The thickness of it made you both nervous and excited. It sat heavy in your palm and the tip glistened with precum. Leaning forward you pressed a sweet kiss against the head and then sat back to lick the taste of him from your lips.

“Will it do?” he asked

“Only one way to find out.” you turned around, and dug your knees into the mattress.

You could feel his hand move between your legs once more. He pressed three fingers inside of you, just to be sure you wouldn’t be stretched too uncomfortably. When he finally sunk into you, you lurched forward onto the bed.

“Is that okay?” It shocked you how thoughtful and caring he sounded.  

You nodded and pressed back into him for assurance. “Don’t stop this time.”

“I won’t.” he promised, his hands wrapping around your hips as he continued on.

It was so slow and easy at first, you thought it would be nice if he could just keep doing it forever. A long satisfied moan escaped your lips. Once he knew you’d taken to his size he went harder, faster. Reaching forward he grabbed your hair tightly in his fist and pulled you back against his chest. It surprised you how sensitive your skin was against the silk of his shirt. Almost as sensitive as your pussy had gotten to his silk cock. The arm that wasn’t hanging onto your hair slipped around your body, his hand cupping your bouncing breast.

“Oh! Fuck me! Harder!” you begged as he slammed into you.

Your orgasm was close, coming faster than any of the ones before and only building bigger with every hard thrust.

“Oh, baby…” he panted against the top of your head, feeling you start to contract around him.

Then your eyes went wide, “NO! What are you doing? Don’t you dare.”

He’d pulled out and hadn’t pushed back in with the swiftness as he had before.

Changkyun only laughed. “Calm down. I just want to see that pretty little face you’re about to make when you cum all over my fat cock .”

You flipped over one more time and looked up at him skeptically. “I swear to God...”

He chuckled as he lifted your leg up around his waist and sunk back into you. “God doesn’t give a fuck if you cum. I do.”

There was something about being face to face. Having your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, his forehead pressed against yours, your tongue being gently sucked in between his lips. You were glad he’d made the switch. This was nice. And though he was still fully dressed it felt intimate.

“Oh..Changkyun...yes.” you cried out as your orgasm tore through you threefold. You’d never come so hard, you weren’t sure you could stop. The tightening of your walls milked out his own orgasm soon after. Your body shook almost violently as you came but so sweetly your voice flowed against his ear when you breathed out a simple, “Kyunnie…”

It wasn’t something he’d ever wanted anyone to know. If people found out it would make him appear soft and weak. However, as intentionally uncaring and cruel as he often came off, all he’d ever wanted was to be wanted. Really, truly wanted. Not wanted because he was attractive or rich or had a big dick. And it was impossible for him to know what you’d really wanted him for but it just  felt different with you. It felt like more when you said his name like that, like you still wanted him even though he was done with you.

He knew when you said his name like that he’d fucked up. All he was trying to do was piss off Jooheon. It had been a joke. He didn’t plan to actually like you, he didn’t want to. He wanted to discard you like trash. Give you away to his brother as sloppy seconds and see how much he wanted you then.

“Stay here.” he said hurriedly. He pulled out of you and tucked himself into his pants before disappearing into your attached bathroom.

“Where would I go?” you muttered, before dropping back onto the mattress exhausted.

You closed your eyes and listened as he moved around your bathroom, trying to figure out what he was doing in there. You had figured he was just washing up but it was taking longer than you expected. When he finally returned you were nearly asleep.

“Not yet…” he said waking you up and then helping you off the bed. “Can’t let you go to bed looking like some teenage boys used sock.”

You snorted out a laugh and leaned your head against his shoulder. “You’re just so romantic I don’t know how to handle myself.”

In the bathroom you were genuinely stunned to see that he’d run a bath for you, complete with overflowing bubbles. He helped you step into the tub and eased you down into the warm water.

“Kyunnie…” he looked away from you and then gulped before looking back, “This is actually really sweet.”

“Well,” he grabbed a washcloth, dunking it into the water to use on your skin, “it can’t take all night. Minhyuk is still downstairs waiting for me.”

Lifting your hand you moved it over his neck and pulled him down for a kiss before muttering against his lips, “You can tell him to leave...stay the night with me.”

“I can’t.” he stood up from the tub and dropped the towel in the water. “I’m going to clean up out here. I’ll be back to get you out in a minute.”

He was panicking and he needed to get his composure back. It might be nice to stay the night with you. It might be what he wanted to do, but he wouldn’t. Not only was Minhyuk waiting to take him home, but Jooheon was waiting there for him. Jooheon. His brother. His only friend on earth. The only person who ever would and ever could understand him completely. The only person that would ever put up with his bullshit no matter what.

Jooheon. The one that he was certain was bound to you. At least if the mark on your forearm had anything to say about it.

So he took a deep breath, cleaned up the mess he’d made of your bed and went back to help you out of the tub like he said he would. He even dressed you and tucked you into the bed before getting his jacket off the chair. When he turned to say goodbye you were looking at him with big needy eyes and your lip between your teeth and he hated it.

“Will I see you again?” you asked.

He looked at you with one of his classically smug smirks that you’d seen over and over again all night and said, “I’m sure you will.”

[zahra-kha]

Dear Diary 30

I’ve been incredibly busy.

On purpose, but I don’t mind it at all. There’s been a sort of peace locking myself up in my apartment, writing songs and practicing for shows. I wish I could say I’ve been up to more but outside of Plume and the strange plated leves adventure I’ve been reclusive.

I’ve been having a lot of bizarre dreams of late. One reoccurring dream I’ve been having is one where I feel like I’m floating in this dark pool. I try to swim to the surface but just as I get to the top and reach out someone reaches out to stop me. When I look up I see a reflection of myself, but it’s not me. Her hair and eyes are the color of blood and she looks down at me with resentment.

I can’t hear what she’s saying and when I try to read her lips the water blurs what she’s trying to say. It’s when I try to respond that my lungs fill with water and I wake up struggling to breathe.

I’ve had to leave the lights on of late too. I’m not sure why but being in the darkness triggers my claustrophobia like when I was a child. It’s just dark, tight spaces now, but of late I can’t even be in the room unless there’s a dim light. I start feeling like I’m suffocating - or like something’s trying to crawl out of me.

It’s been hard to sleep again. I think I might start taking tonics. If I don’t have those dreams it’s just other nightmares. Dreams about me dying in a fire, or I’m running and I keep trying to scream out for help but no matter how hard I scream nothing comes out. I feel helpless and frustrated.

So you can understand why I keep drowning myself in work, right?

My shows have been going well, the solidarity show was a success! There were so many of us there, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many raen and xaela in one place! It was a warm feeling.

Tyme’s performance was absolutely stunning. I just want to point that out. Kaito’s was funny, he’s a great performer. I may get at him one day for a duet. It’d be hilarious. And Suki’s was beautiful!

And there were Kha! I didn’t really get to talk to any of them, but I wanted to. Sometimes I feel torn - I love my family, but there’s a part of me that wants to know where I came from too. Did my birth family love me? How was it growing up on the Steppes? What sort of traditions did I follow? I don’t remember any of it and a part of me was afraid of it. Afraid of how I’d be seen.

But they were warm. Orghana was kind and offered for me to stop in and learn more about their culture if I taught her a bit about dancing (not that she needs it, she’s amazing!). 

There was also someone who had been saved by the Kha once and she told me nice things about my clan, and told me my songs had moved her (she also gave me a considerable sum of gil). I feel like I’ve met her before, but I couldn’t pin down where with her mask on.

I think I’d like to make friends with Baatu too. He’s a Kha, and I’ve seen him before at the Bandee Pakshee.

The next day I performed at the Gilded Stag. There were a lot of people I knew there! Kaito, Koh’a, Vel, Vin, Gail, even - to my surprise- Trystan! I’ve seen him pop in and out but I’d sadly not been able to really sit and chat him up, so I was happy he was there! Apparently he’d come to see me and Vin’s performances. I was...a bit apprehensive since I don’t think he realized it was a burlesque show but...he found out quick enough once the clothes started coming off!

Everyone’s performance was amazing. I could have done without seeing Kaito’s dick but I knew what I signed up for! So...I guess I’ll have to live with that going into work next Plume. Vin’s performance was stunning as always. I think poor Trystan wasn’t sure how to think or feel.

A burlesque show was different for me and probably my most ‘out there’ performance I’ve done. I let myself relax and go with the flow. And no, I don’t mean I flashed all my goods but. I might have thrown off my top. At the end!

Gods, I did that with Trystan watching. Nothing like having one of your best friends watching you halfway strip to make you feel so embarrassed you want to die. Too late to regret now moving on.

Anyway! After we went to Gail’s shop and tried to catch up. Apparently Gail and Vin have joined a group called GHOST. They sound like a well funded and organized group and I’m happy for them. I was a little sad to hear Vin had left school because it wasn’t offering her what she wanted, but it sounds like she’s happy with where she is and what she’s doing.

Somewhere along the line Vin lost an arm, too. I don’t know how and I guess she doesn’t give people a straight answer so. I didn’t ask.

I found out Trystan has been working and he knows a bit about what’s going on with those towers that have suddenly popped up. Not a whole ton, it’s still being investigated, but it looks like adventurers aren’t going to be short of work anytime soon. I’m glad he’s still out there doing what inspires him. I know it was hard for him when his father was ill. Adventuring is such a part of Trystan, I can’t imagine him not doing it.

Vin had to leave, and we ended up discussing ...well me. What happened and the things going on with my troupe. I talked to Gail about the investigation and she asked me what I wanted to do about it. I told her I didn’t feel right having everyone be cut off from things like that after they risked their lives to bring me back.

Trystan had stepped out but came back in time to overhear a good bit of what had happened to me. I wish there was something I could do to ease his guilt. I know he feels bad for not being there, but he was out there doing something incredible - he doesn’t need to feel guilty. We’re all out here doing what we feel is best for us, but it does make me feel less alone knowing I have so many friends that care about me. It’s been...hard.

I hope he can join us when we go out there to look deeper into the mystery, and I promised to treat him to some lunch to tell him everything that happened. I should have written him more, but I admit I’d been feeling out of sorts and reclusive of late. I’ve just had so much on my mind I just retreated into my thoughts whenever I was alone.

Gail opened up to us and we learned why she doesn’t like to talk about her nameday. I won’t reveal it here because it’s not my story to tell but- I decided I won’t pry into it or Jasper’s nameday any longer. Sometimes people have reasons for not wanting to open up about those things and I shouldn’t be insensitive.

We then got into the idea of soulmates and the concept of love itself. Gail has some strong views on it, and I ended up realizing I do too. I have a feeling Trystan does as well but maybe he was content to let us hash it out. He did chime in on it, and I think he’s of the same mindset as I am.

I wonder if Gail is afraid of love because she’s seen the rock bottom of what a toxic love can do to someone. That’s not something I can understand, but I can get being scared of love. When you’ve experienced heartbreak, it makes you hesitant to want to try and love again. Like when you first experience touching fire.

But I always run away from everything, and I’m so tired of that. And while I’m not going to rush in guns blazing with the feelings I currently have, I don’t want to run away from them either. I have someone I like. When I’m around them it’s a nice, warm feeling. They make me laugh, sometimes they frustrate me. I get flustered when they compliment me, and sometimes when they do reckless things I get angry, worried, or sad.

But then they give me an apologetic smile and I can’t feel upset anymore, and that’s okay too. I don’t want to see these feelings as something bad. It just is.

I want Gail to find happiness. It doesn’t have to be with someone, but I want her to be happy.

[nightwingshero]

I would like to know all of them for dahlia and alfie.. for the nsfw ask 👁️👄👁️

jkfjda YOU THOT!!!  But thank you, dear!!! <3

1. What was their first time like? Okay, it wasn’t really supposed to happen, to be honest. The first time was started because Dahlia was approached by a suitor at the shop, or a potential suitor. Rubbed Alfie the wrong way, Dahlia didn’t know why. But hours later, she tries to talk business with him and he busts out a bottle of rum and they end up having sex on his desk. 

2. Who usually initiates things? Alfie is more likely to initiate things, and he does it when it’s least expected. Dahlia will from time to time, especially if he’s caught up on business and frustrated/stressed.

3. How often do they have sex? In the beginning, not that much. Alfie doesn’t really talk much about what it is that’s going on, and Dahlia fears and assumes that it’s not going to last. It’s just fun for now, unitl Tommy either needs her back in Birmingham, Alfie gets tired of her, or the business with him and the Peaky Blinders go bad. 

4. Who is louder/noisier? I think that would Dahlia, and honestly, that’s because Alfie makes it a point to make sure she isn’t quiet. She isn’t quiet normally, why the hell stop then, you know? He’ll taunt her and stuff during to get reactions out of her. 

5. Who is more sensitive? Dahlia. She’s had some experience, but not a whole lot, she tends to avoid it. She’s picky about who she spends her nights with (if she ever decides to), and so there’s only been a handful of men she’s actually had. So, she’s not as accustomed being touched and all that, so it makes her very sensitive and even jumpy at times. 

6. What’s foreplay often like? I know this sounds bad, but I found it a bit weird that there wasn’t hardly any in the show, and I guess that kinda makes sense, because the plot and story is way more important. But my headcanon is that Alfie is big in it, he just seems like the kind of guy to take his time and do it right? But it’s typical finger play, then oral, then so on. 

7. Favorite place to have sex? I would say it would eventually be the bedroom, but in the beginning, it’s definitely Alfie’s office. It’s the only time they’re actually together when this all starts. Dahlia is lowkey self conscious about him being in her living space, and honestly...it’s a trust thing. She’s a Peaky Blinder and a Shelby. Betrayal happens between Alfie and Tommy, so they both try to keep that wall up. Well...it doesn’t work. Eventually, she starts staying the night at his house.

8. Favorite position to have sex? They don’t really have one, meaning they mix it up and try a bit of everything. Him having her sitting on his desk is a very common, then with her bent over a chair or his desk. She’s even rode him in his chair a time or two. Doggy style is one, missionary is another...honestly, it just changes.

9. Who’s the best at oral sex/oral headcanons? Sorry Dahlia, but Alfie is the best. Not saying she isn’t good, but she’s not that experienced, and the experience she’s had, it was disappointing. Dahlia was self conscious about it because she doesn’t believe she’s good at it, but eventually she just says ‘fuck it’ and goes for it. Let’s just say she’s not so self conscious about it anymore.

10. Who’s most likely to tickle their partner? I would say neither, but if I had to pick, I’d say Dahlia. I could see her trying to use a long feather against his neck while he’s working to get her attention. I could also see Alfie touching more sensitive parts of her body for the fun of it, but not necessarily tickling.

11. Who’s more romantically sexual? Dahlia is, when the relationship finally gets to that point. Embarrassingly enough, she’s had to get a lot of pointers from Pol for these kinds of things, she’s not used to it. She gets worried that Alfie will react negatively to it, but she’s pleasantly surprised, even if he does tease in his natural smartass Alfie way.

12. Who’s better at dirty talk/dirty talk headcanons? Alfie is better with it because of how he does it. To me, he likes to talk in circles to confuse you and then gets you when you least expect it. That kind of translates over, except it’s not as complex, if that makes sense? He does it (as said above) to make Dahlia more vocal, purposefully saying dirty things or even asking suggestive questions to work her up more and make her louder. Dahlia isn’t as into giving dirty talk, to be honest, but if she ever does, she’s very blunt about it. Most common phrase would be telling him to “fuck her” or “fuck her harder”. It usually works.

13. Do they have sexual nicknames or titles? Not really, no. They might slip and call each other “love” here and there, but nothing that really is considered a nickname or so. 

14. Who’s more likely to be caught masterbating? Listen, Dahlia would and she would do it on purpose. She would do it where and when Alfie can catch her. It’s her power play and she doesn’t keep that power long after she’s caught. Alfie takes control rather quickly.

15. Who looks at porn more/porn headcanons? I don’t really think either of them would, but I will say that after Alfie saves her in that alley (before they’re formally introduced), he would go watch her perform...you know, for science reasons. 

16. Who usually cums first? I don’t know if this is just me being a feminist and I’m desperate for equality in this show, but I like to believe that Alfie is a supporter for it, and makes sure Dahlia is always the first. If that’s not the case, they come together. Now, if she’s performing oral, and he can’t return the favor right away, he will definitely ambush her later when she least expects it.

17. How long can they go? Depends on a lot of things. If they’re more stressed and frustrated, it’s usually quicker. But they could go for a couple of hours on a good night. 

18. What are their safewords? Don’t really have them. Alfie is good at reading Dahlia, and he’ll usually know to stop before she can even say it. But most of the time, she’ll just tell him to stop and he’ll stop immediately. And vice versa.

19. Any routines? I know this isn’t original, but it always starts with a rough kiss. Always. Dahlia would feel used, like she’s just some random girl if he didn’t kiss her. It makes it less personal, and Alfie has a lot of respect for Dahlia. He wouldn’t treat her like that. Also, most of the time, if Alfie is pouring her a glass of rum (when alone and not for tastings), chances are, they’re gonna end up in bed together. It’s a joke between them.

20. Do they have a dynamic (Dom/Sub) or are they versatile? 9/10 times, Alfie is the dominant one. Dahlia loves it, it’s a nice change and break from everyday life. It’s also a sign of trust that’s building. And I mean...come on, Alfie is a boss. Don’t get me wrong, however, he does like it when Dahlia takes charge on the times she does. It just doesn’t happen often.

21. What roleplay scenarios do they have/want? The only thing I can think of is Dahlia dressing up in her old burlesque outfits for him. He loves seeing her in them, and she loves the way he looks at her in them.

22. What sextoys do they use? Not even sure if any were invented at this time, but I mean...let’s be honest, they don’t need it. They’re doing just fine on their own.

23. Who, if anyone, would they most likely bring in to join them? Yeah...not a soul. Alfie isn’t too fond of the idea of someone else touching her and she’s not exactly comfortable with people seeing that side of her. She takes her name seriously, and she knows that women are treated differently in that area (all areas in this time period, let’s be honest), so it’s important to her that she doesn’t do anything to spoil her name or reputation. She doesn’t trust a fucking soul to invite in. 

24. Shared kinks/fetishes? Ooff. Not sure. Dahlia has a thing for his beard, that’s for sure. She’s used to being around clean shaved men, from her cousins, to the suitors and men that she was raised around. And it’s not that she’s never seen beards before, its that she’s never seen someone look so damn good with one. It’s not exotic, but its so different for her in general. Pulling hair is another, she loves it when he does it. He likes it when she bites his neck. They both like rough touches. 

25. Something they tried and won’t do again? Sex in public. The risk is too much, and isn’t worth it to Dahlia. She is too scared of getting caught and it’s so out of the norm, that she’s unsure of it. 

26. What would each member say their favorite thing the other(s) is? For Alfie, its her hair and eyes. Dahlia is part gypsy, and he’s not used to being around people from that culture, and Dahlia has some gypsy features. And he also loves her legs. He’ll run his hand up and down them every chance he gets. For Dahlia, it’s his beard, eyes, and voice. He has pretty eyes that she gets lost in, but that voice and the way he talks? It confused the hell out of her at first, she couldn’t understand him that well. But she’s grown to love it, she can’t get enough of him talking.

27. Any headcanons not touched on? I don’t know if this counts as a kink or not, but Alfie is very protective. Their relationship isn’t toxic from jealousy, but he doesn’t like it when men he doesn’t know or trust lays a hand on her. He knows she’s rather good at looking after herself, but he did have to save her from a group of Sabini’s men, it’s how they first met. So he’s always wary about it. That being said, Alfie is quick to make his claim. He will stand close to her during the conversations or kind of walk up with his arms crossed and glower at them quietly. And after...well, they make sure his office door is locked. He leaves love marks on her, and places where no one else can see, but them. 

[wordsandwickedthings]

the politics of living

Simon and baz meet up at a protest after meeting at a burlesque club and though penny and Lucas insist its a date (however weird a protest date may be) Simon is skeptical and dealing with a lot of strange feelings; but there was no doubt Baz and Simon needed each other there.

warning: homophobia

“it sounds like a date.” Penny was skipping next to Simon, a giddy smile on her face.

“it’s a protest,” Simon reminded her.

Simon Snow was a fish out of water again. Surrounded by strangers in the street, screaming and marching and grabbing at one another. There had been protests and riots ever since the news of the police raids in America a few weeks ago, and because of it, the world was burning. it was a strange but invigorating movement. He didn’t feel like he belonged there – but he wanted to be there, he needed to. This was too important not to be.

That didn’t stop his heart from pounding against his ribcage.

“but he invited you.” Lucas’s voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“to a political march.” Simon scrunched his nose, flicking at his friend. “That doesn’t scream I like you.”

People had dates in coffee shops, not protests.

Lucas wrapped his arm around his close friend’s neck, evermore an optimist than Simon, “maybe for him it does?”

Simon scanned the crowd, chewing at his lip. He wasn’t nervous – he wasn’t.

“What does Niall say?”

Penny laughed, poking him in the cheek, “that he’s winy and into you.”

“and do I even want to know what you said?” the golden-haired boy groaned.

“The truth,” penny said, smirking at him. “You’re winy and into him.”

“Penny!”

She hit him and laughed, “It’s true, isn’t it?”

“you know it’s not that easy right.”

Penny sighed, “yeah I know. But it should be.” She gripped at Simon’s arm, pulling her best friend to her, “it should be boy meets boy, boy likes boy, boy falls in love with the boy, happily ever after.”

“tell that to them.”

On the outskirts of the streets, there were counter-protesters. Maybe calling them counter-protesters was too kind, to clean off a word for what they really were; they were bigots. Simon breathed out; he knew they wouldn’t call themselves that. The protesters – bigots - were screaming too, but not about wanting acceptance and being who they are, but about God and sin and what they thought about who the people marching were. Who Simon was. The only thing separating them, and the crowed Simon was a part of was a strip of street that the two groups had silently decided was no man’s land – Simon didn’t want to think about what would happen if someone did cross that line.

“I’ll tear ‘em a new asshole if you want!” penny said far too casually.

“yeah baby,” Lucas pumped his fist, “all’s fair in love and riots.”

Simon groaned, “we are not rioting!” he held his hands up, saying, “we are protesting.”

Based on how the last few protests went; he didn’t know whether to believe that or not.

Before he could dwell on anything, he looked up to see Baz. Simon paused to remember how walking worked.

Baz was leaning against a statue’s base, his foot propped up against the concrete so you could see his knee through the rip in his jeans. He was smoking, getting ash on his leather jacket in a move that Simon would call painful. That jacket didn’t deserve that, it was too great.

Baz didn’t look out of place – though Simon couldn’t recall a time he did. They hadn’t spent a lot of time together since that night at the burlesque club, mostly Baz showing up at his school to have lunch with Niall and them. The couple times Baz had called Simon had sent the boy’s stomach into a hurricane of butterflies. But in all those instances Baz had confidence in his own skin that Simon didn’t understand, blending in and standing out of a crowd all at the same time somehow.

The raven-haired boy just had a way of holding himself that looked comfortable surrounded by people.

Lucas and penny catch the look in Simon’s face, fallowing his gaze.

“hey, Baz!” Lucas screamed between his cupped palms, starting to run over to him.

Simon tried not to flush crimson. He didn’t succeed.

Baz whipped his head around at the sound of his name, catching Simon’s eye and smirking at the other boy’s embarrassment.

“penny, you’re about to be an only child.”

Penny cackles, “so you’re my dad now?”

“shut up.” Simon couldn’t hide the way the corners of his mouth curled.

Simon and Penny walked up to see the boys doing the weird handshake ritual again, Baz joining in this time. Simon cocked an eyebrow at the dancer, earning a roll of the eye when Baz caught it. The golden hair boy couldn’t help it, getting a surge of confidence, he winked, which clearly took Baz off guard for a moment before he composed himself, winking back.

“hey,” Baz said, far too casually.

“hi,” Simon prayed to god he was blushing.

The conversation moved idly. The group talked about school, and the war, and the new bakery shop that was opening down the street. Anything that wasn’t that moment; anything that wasn’t the reason they were there.

Not yet, Simon let out a breath, I don’t want to hang my head so heavily yet.

For a moment he just needed to be Simon.

The moment wouldn’t last though, because Baz was looking at him with such intensity that the others were bound to notice.

And of course, the first to notice was Penny.

She glances between the two boys and said, “Hey, Lucas, Niall, there’s someone with spare poster board over there. Want to go make signs that would make homophobes cry?”

Niall punched Lucas’ shoulder. “I like her.”

“Yeah?” Lucas asked, “she’s usually too aggressive for most.”

“I’m blunt! Fuck off!” Penny yelled at him as they shuffled away. Leaving Simon and Baz somehow alone in a crowd.

“hi,” Baz said, “Like hi, hi.”

Simon tilted his head, trying not to giggle. “Hi, hi?”

“Yeah, we didn’t get to, y’know, have like a proper hello.”

The golden-haired boy didn’t try to contain his laughter then, “a proper hello? What did we miss?”

“I don’t know,” Baz laughed along, “we need like a secret handshake or something.”

“well, you did have your man shake with Niall and Lucas.”

Baz burst out laughing, dropping into a squat. Simon jumped back, staring down at the dancer in confusion. The raven-haired boy looked at him from his stance on the ground, “Fucking manshake?”

“It wasn’t even that funny!” Simon rolled his eyes, laughing.

Baz hopped back up, “it's so dumb!”

Simon smacked at his shoulder without thinking, “what do you think 90% of my personality is?”

“dork?”

Simon laughed, hitting him again.

“I like it,” Baz said, looking at the other boy.

Suddenly Simon had to remind himself how to talk – it wasn’t working very well.

“thank you,” Baz whispered out of the blue, “for coming, I mean. I didn’t know if you would.”

“why wouldn’t I?” Simon asked.

Baz bit at his lip, looking anywhere but the golden-haired boy, “because you don’t seem very comfortable with that part of yourself.”

The other boy frowned, “what part of myself?”

“uh,” Baz scratched the back of his neck, “the part that likes me, if you know what I mean.”

“I’m not uncomfortable with liking you the way I do,” Simon insisted, even though he knew it was a lie.

He didn’t feel shame with the way he thought about Baz – at least not wholly. He had felt like this before with other boys, maybe not as intensely, but he had felt a shadow of it.

“but you’re uncomfortable with what that means, and this movement is the embodiment of that.” Baz flared his hands around.

“Stop dancing around and just say what you mean, Baz.” Simon was trying to contain his anger.

“you know what I mean.”

“But I want you to say it!” Simon yelled, catching the attention of a few people around them. “shit,” he muttered, “sorry,” is what he said to the people who had turned.

“You’re still scared, Simon,” Baz brought his voice down, seeing how freaked out the other boy was getting. “you’re still afraid of being gay.”

“I also like girls.”

“You know what I’m saying. You’re scared, and I get it – I really do – but If you never let go of that fear it will eat you alive.”

Simon huffed, “it’s a bit hard to do that when there are so many who would love to see me be eaten alive.” Simon waved his hand over to where the counter-protesters were.

“fuck them!” Baz stepped closer to Simon, cupping his cheeks in his palms, “they don’t get a say in who we are.”

“tell that to them!”

Baz looked between the bigots and Simon, gears clearly moving in his head. “sure,” Baz said while smiling, pulling away from the golden-haired boy.

“wait, no, Baz!” Simon yelled after him, “it was rhetorical.”

“hey!” Baz jumped up on the mount of the statue, towering over everyone in the march – fully staring at counter-protesters. Simon couldn’t help but hide his face in his hands. “listen up dickwads! Who the fuck do you think you are?” he threw his arms up, clearly using his performer’s essence to his advantage, “who are you to speak for some guy in the sky and tell me I’m wrong? Who are you to tell me I can’t have a crush on a dork with cute curls and freckles is abhorrent?” Simon didn’t miss how his cheeks tinted pink, “fine, I’ll tell you who. Fucking assholes. Complete fucking wankfaces. So, you know what?! Fuck off!” Baz was panting, staring at the people as if he expected them to bow their heads in shame. When he realized they wouldn’t – Simon didn’t think they ever would – he flapped his arms, throwing his shoulder back in what the golden hair boy would assume was defeat.

“Okay, okay,” Baz said, far more somber, “Maybe we do need to be better about helping people understand, and maybe we need to educate others so our world can move forward. But you know what? Not today.” The dancer ran his fingers through his hair. “I can’t be your fucking experiment all the time. Sometimes I just want to exist, and live, without having to be someone else growth.” Baz shrugged. I get it, we all need to think about each other, but right now I’m thinking about my wellbeing. Go fuck yourself.”

The performer took a bow and jumped off the stage as the bigots began to scream.

Simon tried to control his breathing when Baz came back to him, looking more sheepish than he had when he headed for the statue.

“That was foolish,” Simon couldn’t help but say it, “brave, but foolish as shit.”

“yeah,” Baz breathed out.

Simon grabbed at the boy’s bicep, “are you okay?”

The raven-haired boy nodded his head in such a way Simon didn’t believe him. The golden-haired boy didn’t think before pulling Baz into a hug, gripping at his leather jacket. Baz froze at first until he let out a breath and wrapped his arms around the other boy.

“it was really brave,” Simon whispered in Baz’s ear, “I couldn’t have done it.”

Baz tightened his hold. “they want me dead,” he mumbled back, nuzzling his head into Simon’s neck, “so I’m going to live. I’m going to live so boldly and bravely – and happily - just to spite them all.”

Simon squeezed back, “let’s do it together.”

[imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul]

Voulez-Vous - Ronald Speirs

Fic #11 of the Mamma Mia! Prompts Song: Voulez-Vous

Pairing: Ronald Speirs x Reader Word Count: 1,475 Synopsis: Ronald is reluctantly dragged along to a Burlesque show, where he falls for the reader, the most beautiful performer.

“I don’t care what you say, I don’t need a day off.”

“That’s not what Major Winters said,” Lipton said carefully. “He instructed me to bring you along on our outing. He seems to think being out in public would do you some good.”

“I’m not getting out of this, am I?”

“No, sir,” Lip said with a smile. Ronald sighed and stood up, dusting off his clothes. They were back in Paris for a few days, before they would be traveling off to London and then a flight home. The war was over, but it seemed that Winters still had more missions for him.

“Where are the men going?”

“A burlesque club.” Lipton pulled him along as he started to roll his eyes, giving him no choice but to come along. 

As they stepped into the club, heaving music was playing as thick smoke swirled above their heads. He tried to hide in the back of the club, but Luz and Babe both pulled him to the stage. Usually scared by him, the liquor in their bodies gave them new courage to push their commanding officer to the front. 

A number was just wrapping up, and Ronald saw a group of five girls’ asses stroll off the stage. There was considerable booing at the lack of female presence on the stage. He looked around the room and saw that most of the men in the room were all service men. 

Swanky music started to play again, a loud trombone blasting into his ear. He pulled away, his eyes averting from the stage, just as the announcer came back with his final roll call for the night.

“Gentleman put your hangs together for the ever lovely, ever charismatic, every sexy, Miss Y/N!” There was screams, and just as Ronald looked up, he took in the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, wearing one of the most ridiculous things he had ever seen. 

You walked on stage, glancing out among the crowd, holding out your hands to them, garnering more cheers. Your eyes danced over to Ronald’s and you winked softly before turning around. He blushed, and suddenly he felt that it was inappropriate for him to be staring at you in this way. 

The music became loud again, and pushed out any silly thoughts of turning his eyes away from you. You strolled across the stage, and laid yourself carefully across the back of the piano. The piano man handed you a microphone as you turned to the face the crowd. The lights dimmed, and the cheering got louder, and just when Ronald thought he should up and leave, the lights slowly rose up on you, as you slowly brought your leg into a sexier angle.

“People everywhere,” you began to sing in a sultry voice, “A sense of expectation hanging in the air. Giving out a spark, across the room your eyes are glowing in the dark,” you said, looking right into Ronald’s eyes. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, making you smile. You jumped off the piano, and gave a little shake, garnering another round of calls from the crowd.

“And here we go again, we know the start we know the end,” you sang stepping down the steps from the stage one by one. You left from the opposite side of the stage, but it seemed like your eyes were only on him. You could spot an uncomfortable soldier in the crowd, apparently. You sauntered towards him, continuing your song. “Masters of the scene. We’ve done it all before and now we’re back to get some more.”

You were in front of him now, and if Ronald had taken his eyes off of yours, he would have been able to see down your shirt. Everyone around him was whooping and hollering as you ran your hands through his hair, smirking at him.

“You know what I mean,” you sang in the sweetest voice he had ever heard. You were magnetic, and as he was about to lean in, you pulled away, and danced up the stairs. You gathered your skirt in your arms, giving a view of you legs to the crowd. They cheered, and this time, Ronald joined in in their cheering. Bull clapped him over the shoulder as he gave a heart whistle. 

“Voulez vous. Take it now or leave it. Now is all we get. Nothing promised, no regret. Voulez vous! Ain’t no big decision, you know what to do,” you sang, using your finger to draw in the crowd. It seemed that every man felt your eyes were only for him, and each of them took a step closer to the stage. You reached out and touched some of their hands before going into your full dance. 

Every turn, every shake, every dance move made the crowd scream with delight. You pulled your skirt up and showed your legs, you bent over and showed your chest, all the while, smiling with beautiful red lips. Once the crowd had truly gone wild at your last dance move, you grabbed your microphone again, singing in your sweet, sexy voice.

“La question c’est voulez vous!” you belted, holding out every single note. Once you were done, you took one last bow as three dozen roses were thrown onto the stage. You blew kisses and blinked once more at Ronald before walking off stage. 

The lights came up in the club, and slowly, the waitresses started showing them off. A few chose to leave voluntarily as there weren’t any dancers around, but some still stayed for drinks. Just as he was about to leave, a flash of a pink skirt drew his attention.

“Leaving without saying hello?” you asked in a voice as sweet as your song. 

“I didn’t think you’d come out here among the men.”

“Oh, there not so bad,” you said with a smile, “Get the real rough ones away and all the sweeties will stay. Are you sweet . . .”

“Speirs. Ronald Speirs.”

“Are you sweet, Speirs, Ronald Speirs?” He laughed and shook his head.

“Depends who you ask.”

“Why don’t you buy me a drink and maybe I can answer that question.” Luz made kissing sounds behind him, but Ronald quickly stood and followed you over to the bar. “I haven’t seen you in here before.”

“My men convinced me to come along.”

“Convinced or dragged?” He smirked and shook his head.

“Depends who you ask.”

“You’re funny,” you said, taking a sip of your drink. “I don’t get many men who blush when they look at me and turn away.”

“What’s wrong with turning away?” he asked. You leaned in close, staring at his collar, making him feel hotter. 

“You’ll miss the whole show,” you said breathlessly. “What brings you to Paris?”

“A layover until we go to London, and then back to the States.”

“Oh, say it’s not so. I could use a few sweet ones in my crowd every night.”

“You talk this smooth with every new schmuck who comes in here?”

“Jealous?” you asked with a twinkle in your eyes.

“Unfamiliar.”

“I’m not going to invite you up to my room, Ronald,” you said with a smile. He laughed a little and nodded, trying to relax. “You couldn’t afford me.” His face fell, making you laugh harder. “I’m kidding.”

“Oh. You’re funny, too.” 

“Thanks. Stay for another drink?” He nodded softly, and accepted the drink from the bartender as you waved him over. That went of four more times, until he was nearly drunk. Most of the men had left already, but a few hung around to see what would happen with the two of you.

“Ron, I have to go or my boss will kill me,” you said, looking over your shoulder.

“Can’t stay for one more drink?”

“No, but how about tomorrow night?”

“I’ll be here.”

“Perfect.” You stood up and adjusted the fabric around your chest. Your hair had fallen into your face, making you look much softer than you had on stage. “Until tomorrow.”

“Y/N, wait,” Ronald said as you started to walk away. He touched your jewel clad wrist and spun you around, planting a quick kiss to your lips. When you pulled away you were smiling.

“Hmm, maybe you aren’t one of the sweet ones after all.”

“Ask me again tomorrow?” he said with a smile.

“You got it,” you said, trailing your hand down his chest as you started to walk away. Ronald collapsed in his chair, his heart thudding. Lipton and Luz walked up to him, patting him on the back.

“How are you going to convince Winters to give you leave for tomorrow, too?”

“I don’t know. The same way I’ll ask him to let me stay in Paris forever.”

“Come on, lover boy,” Lipton said, pulling him out of his seat.

[razorsadness]

Things I forgot to say in my last post, + some new things:

1. On that trip to SF/Oakland where I met P., I performed at an event called the Big Gay Cabaret. (That’s when I mainly performed music, both after and before my spoken word years, but I digress.) Part of the reason I made the trip out there at that time was so I could be part of the BGC. Now, the organizers called it that because there’s a nice rhyme to “Big Gay Cabaret;” ostensibly it was an event for all us LGBTQIA+ folks. After the fact, I heard that some of the organizers complained that not all the performers were “queer enough,” and I’m pretty sure I was the most egregiously “not queer enough” performer. I was wearing a very “girly” dress that night, and I played a song I’d written about P.—I introduced it by saying: “This is for someone who’s in the audience. Hopefully he won’t run screaming away when he hears it.” So, yes, I was very feminine-presenting and mentioned that the song was about a “he,” but like: the song itself didn’t have any pronouns in it, so it could’ve been about anyone of any gender. Not to mention, they didn’t know my gender identity and sexual orientation, or P.’s. For all they knew, P. could’ve been bi or non-binary or trans, and I’m bisexual and non-binary, no matter what I look like or who I’m with. Yeah, I wear dresses and fuck dudes sometimes. Still here, still queer, get over it! That whole thing made me a little salty. But whatever, the other performers dug my shit, and after the cabaret a group of us went to a burlesque show, and P. and I drank absinthe, and a bunch of half-naked burlesque girls told me I was gorgeous, and when we went outside to smoke P. let me wear his leather jacket (because June in San Francisco is cold) and he took a photo of me that’s one of my favorite photos of me, ever, and then later that night I told him I loved him.

2. Last week, on a night when I couldn’t sleep because it was too hot, I was sitting out on our back steps, and I saw a shooting star flash its green length partway across the sky before disappearing. (Yes, I made a wish.)

3. Our date on Saturday was really nice. It was so good to be out in the world. There was hardly anyone else in the bar we went to, and the staff are all fully vaccinated (they have a sign on their door stating so) and so are we, so we got to sit at the bar, and talk to the owners, and oh my god! A conversation with other humans not in my pod! In a bar! And we loitered a bit in my favorite alley (what, you don’t have a favorite alley?), taking photos and looking at all the scratchings people had left. I saw the names of three old flames, all of whom were people I met and fell for in ‘03 or ‘04, which is a time period I have been thinking and writing about a lot lately, and it felt a bit spooky. Later on, we sat out on our patio, and our neighbors across the street were having a graduation party for their son, and they had a DJ spinning old soul and R&B, and so we got to enjoy their music while we sipped our fancy cocktails.

4. I love that people are having parties again, and going out again (I know, some people never stopped doing those things, but I am talking about the world-at-large), but I hate the uptick in mass shootings that has come with it. I’m no longer so scared of catching CoViD when I go to a store, but I am now, once again, scared of getting shot. Fuck the NRA and all the politicians who are paid off by them to further their agenda. That’s all I’ll say about it for now, or I’ll get too angry and upset.

5. Saturday night, I had another intense dream. This one wasn’t sexy or fun-weird or even melancholy, no, this one was straight-up horrific. It involved a cursed house, and floods, and murder, and suicide, and the murders and suicides were extremely graphic. It’s been a while since I’ve had a nightmare like that. I used to have graphically horrific nightmares at least once a month, if not more, and thank god they’re more infrequent now—but when I do get them, oh, they’re still just as awful as they ever were. Sometimes horror films don’t do it for me because my subconscious creates way more horrific stuff on its own. Maybe this is a sign that I need to start writing horror. If I could create a discernible plot to go with my dream from Saturday night, it would make a pretty damn good piece of horror fiction.

6. My area is going through a terrible drought; the worst we’ve had in about 16 years. I hate it because it’s ruining crops, and I worry about the environment, but I also hate it on a personal level. I love summer rainstorms, and I love walking barefoot in the grass when it’s all lush and cool and soft—but right now it’s dry and brown and dead and scratches my feet. I’ve been doing rain-summoning spells and I guess they worked a little bit—rain wasn’t in the forecast for today but wind and dark clouds came up out of nowhere about an hour ago. I stood out in the backyard and talked to the sky, and it did rain. It rained hard, but only for about 15 minutes. Better than nothing, and I immediately threw all the windows open because that is another thing I’ve been missing—the smell of rain on dirt, the smell of rain on hot pavement. I’m going to continue with my spells; the more I do them, the more rain they’ll bring.

7. One of the best things about being full vaccinated, and this summer as opposed to last summer, is that, though my allergies and sinus issues are in full effect, I don’t freak out thinking I have CoViD every time I have the slightest tickle in my throat.

8. Last night, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, and noticed a post from N.—photos of who she was hanging out with. And one of those people was D.S. When I knew N., she lived in Wisconsin. And when I knew D.S., he lived in Austin. Now they’re both in New Orleans. N. was an almost-lover of mine, and D.S. was a lover of mine (and in fact he asked me to move to Austin to be with him, and I did consider it at one point). It just freaked me out, because—I’ve often been accused of holding onto the past, but even when I’ve let it go, I inevitably get reminded of it. This isn’t the first time (not even close) that people I know from completely different times and places encounter each other without my introducing them. Is it that I’ve had too many lovers/almost-lovers and not enough friends, or is it just a small fucking world? Anyway, after I saw that, P. and I were trying to be intimate, and I had a hard time getting into it because I was thinking about N. and S. and— It’s not that I was wishing to be with either one of them, truly. N. and I have become great friends and I no longer have romantic feelings for her; I barely think about D.S. these days, and when I do, it’s only as an amusing anecdote from my misspent youth. It’s just that I felt haunted by, to quote Lynda Hull, that vast hotel, the past. And I recently read 100 Boyfriends by Brontez Purnell, and the whole concept of that book is that, when you’re in a room with a lover, both of you bring all your ghosts with you. Queue the Laura Marling: these are just ghosts that broke my heart before I met you.

[devilishdewitt]

Ladies of Burlesque, June 2019

Short’n’Sweet, off we go!

First things first, the most important part of any review I shall ever write:

~The Eternal Disclaimer~

It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.

Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.

Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.

However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.

All is sickly without self-irony.

Now, onwards! To fabulousness!

Ah, Michel! Beautiful as you approach it, delightful as you step in, courteous waiters, excellent food!

The stage seemed a tad bit too small and a little bit too close to the audience (to my liking), and seemed quite stifling, really. However, certainly not the worst option in Moscow!

Our gorgeous swan-queen host, Anja Pavlova was on top form both nights. Her hosting excelled  - the marriage of her Moscow State University philosophy faculty, English teacher experience (hello, fantasies), European lady class and Russian intelligentsia wit provide endless charm, wittiness and grace. Brava!

The chorus line was better. The routine was polished, they had fun - and so they were fun to watch. But still, ladies! Waists! Synch! It’s not that hard! A little shape goes a long way!

You, dearest darlings, already know how much I adore Ladies of Burlesque.

However,  h o w e v e r, there is just one thing I can’t for the life of me understand.

The fascination with Marie Weinberg.

Is she sweet? Undoubtedly.

Is she talented? Sure.

Is she good in this show? No.

Her tone of voice is just not suited to the mood, the vibe, the occasion.

Or she simply doesn’t make it work.

She seems dead scared every time she walks on stage, she doesn’t own the audience, she doesn’t seem to enjoy herself - and the audience feels it!

Being harsh is never my intention, and I have a healthy amount of self-doubt (believe it or not, darling reader!), so I decided to ask a certain number of fellow spectators. An opinion in unison…bland.

She doesn’t feel the energy of the songs she’s singing, either. She seems to simply enjoy the sound of her own voice.

And don’t even get my started on the crumpled, non-ironed dress (girl! Get a steamer!!) and the ill-fitting gloves. Oh, Whineberg…

Blanche de Moscou. Excellent! She completely transforms on stage. The sparkle, the charm, the stories, the moves - it’s all there! This time she entertained us with her “Pink 60’s” and “Kinky” acts. Both were great, though the Kinky one still isn’t Kinky - and even inserting a fox-tail butt-plug into her belle-chose (instead of it’s derrière-destiny) at the Kinky Party didn’t help the cause.

Elisha Fox - excellent as always. Unfortunate that the video projector got in the way of his dance flow (a very low ceiling for a tall performer (especially in those heels!)). 

However, his magic is inextinguishable.

Especially the “My Little Pony” addition in the end of the “Magic Lamp” number…self-irony at it’s best!

I know what you’re thinking, darling. It seems as if I write about Elisha is every review. That’s because...it is the truth! He is indeed one of the few (ahem, two) performers who are invited to almost every event. All the cliques, groups and cults want a slice of his boylesque extravaganza. Of course it’s due to the fact that he’s really, really good - but also, he’s one of a kind, and being a boylesque performer in Russia is an act of bold, glittery rebellion.

However, Elisha does get elephantine bonus points for being, indeed, the first and only of his kind in Russia. So if I were to judge our luminary on an international scale, he wouldn’t shine quite as bright, and here’s why.

The marvel lends too much focus to the technique. Burlesque is about the magic of connection - that is what the tease does, creates electricity between the performer and the audience. The tease, the joy, the desire to inspire, the will to share the story...Elisha has everything. Now he has to let it go and enjoy his time on stage. The dancing is perfect, but it doesn’t have to be. Make eye contact! Make a mistake! Breathe! Allow yourself to be alive on that stage. Because the audience wants to be alive with you.

If I could make one wish on the lamp of our dazzling genie...it would be that Tanya, aka @konfetki​, would look the part. The producer of such a dazzling event deserves to look as brilliant as the show. Oh, did I say deserves? I meant should. This is in no way an attack on anyone’s freedom of expression, but there are fairly simple style rules that would amp up the full experience. It’s a question of atmosphere, of vibe, of team spirit! When the team spirit is brilliance, you dress accordingly, darling!

It’s a damn shame that Victoria Semmybird wasn’t able to come. Tales of her Dumbo act travel far and wide, and St Petersburg burlesque quite often offers a refreshing quirkiness. Moscow takes itself so seriously...perhaps we shall see a flourish of comedic acts sooner rather than later!

Tamasina Beansun was alright. Her Vaping Moon act was syrupy, sensual and full of deeply-set inner emotional drama, and her Butterfly act was syrupy... sensual...and...well, you get me.

She did expertly get rid of a naughty button - rip it off and throw it away! That’s the temperament that could make her future acts truly shine.

Her Siberian Prime inseparable, Katerina Sahara, was her usual fabulous self. Starting with her Heartbroken act, that suits any occasion with its elegant languid flow & elements of enticing percussion. But it was her second act that really made the room explode with excitement. Take a Russian jazz-pop classic, add a feisty tropical/Cuban costume, add rum, twerking and brilliant charm and you got yourself a treasure.

Masha Arzamasova, a journalist, sex blogger and all-round brilliant lady did a stand up act on night 2 - and it was excellent. Sassy, confident, hilarious - the room was buzzing long after she sat back at her table. Refreshing!

I have a feeling that the Ladies might be lending this modest little writing endeavour a pinch of their attention, as Elena the Stage Kitten had her moment to shine and it was delightful! You go, Lena!

Wish I could say the same about Jeva Noir.

I must say, it takes talent to take one of the most adored and vivid female comic book characters - POISON IVY!!, choose the deliciously malicious Uma Thurman version, make some fern fans…and make it so bland.

Girl.

Posture.

That corset does NOT fit. It’s supposed to SYNCH YOU IN.

The wig is tragic. I’m sorry, but it’s just a fact.

Actually, no. I am not sorry. The reason why I’m making these comments is because I want the quality of Russian burlesque to rise and conquer the world. Someone’s gotta tell the truth!

The choreography is awkward and doesn’t do anything. It’s just moving for the sake of moving.

You can’t take one of the most ironically sexy songs in the history of mankind and NOT make fun of it or at least ENJOY it.

Apparently there is such a thing as too much glitter  ( g  a  s  p )

Also, sticky jewels on one’s forehead stopped working since every single festival-going chick started sticking them everywhere.

Caught a glimpse of Eva out of costume - my God, how gorgeous she is! Her elegant bob haircut suits her flawlessly, she carries herself with poise…so what happens when she’s in character?

A perplexing addition to the pantheon of LoB elegance.

I have the antidote to the sadness of this last paragraph, darling reader - our paramount lady, Anja. The two acts she brought to us this time were “A Lady Loves” (the big fan one) and “You’re My Thrill” (the moon act), dedicated to her lucky Persian prince husband.  

Well, let me tell you, she was our thrill. 

The lady loves and oh, the lady’s loved!

What really makes her stand out is the grace, the raw emotion, the adoration of the music (we can feel it in her bones), and just how much she loves this show and burlesque.

Another thing I must mention is the costume changes. God, I love a good costume change, and Pavlova did indeed bring. it. on.

From her breathtaking golden iris Mucha Bond-girl fantasy to a vivacious green glitter tassel Christmas tree fantasy (sewn in one night with no sewing machine!), it was endlessly entertaining and captivating - much like the lady herself! Also, the new wig length worked superbly well. I daresay that a longer style suited her much better than her usual curly bobs.

“Burlesque is unapologetic”, she manifests towards the end - and god damn, the gal is right! Unapologetic in its confidence, playfulness, storytelling and celebration of being alive in those bizarre, beautiful bodies of ours!

Hoorah, ladies and gentlemen! (of burlesque and beyond)

PS

The Ladies of Burlesque Halloween show will take place on the 1st of November at the same venue, Cafe Michel.

[gothxmsirxns-blog]

After Midnight [Burlesque AU Part Three]

pairing: Batfam x Female!reader

[part one] [part two] [part 4.0]

plot: Burlesque AU : After graduating college, [Y/N] becomes a dancer at The Dark Knight, a prestigious Burlesque club located in Gotham City as a way to stay on her feet while trying to find a ‘proper job’

warnings: sexual implications, cursing

tags: @memento-scribet @4evahevah @dc-hoe @freethecagedeggs

words: 2049

a/n: okay, so i’ve decided to extend the poll until sunday at midnight. I was planning on closing it tonight but because this part is only going up now i’m going to keep it open. As with part two, Jason is still in the lead with 41% of the vote, you all must love Jason because they’ve only interacted twice and it’s been bare minimum. Anyway! Enjoy and don’t forget to vote. I should also have a stand-alone oneshot for Harper coming out soon because my little bird needs some love.  It is also now one am, so I’m sorry if this sucks and I’m sorry it’s shorter than the other two parts. 

“Thank you.” [Y/N] was shocked, hearing the compliment come from Barbara was amazing as, after she got the job and went home the night before she spent a few hours watching videos of Barbara dancing from a young age to the night before the accident that made it so she was now in a wheelchair and she was left in awe of how graceful and beautifully the red-headed woman moved.   [Y/N] reached a hand out to take Barbara’s and she shook it, squeezing it gently to make it firm, something she was always told to do as a child.

As both hands retracted back, a smile spread across Barbara’s face as she motioned to the two girls who were standing beside [Y/N], “I hope everyone, including these two menaces, are treating you well?”

Nodding, a small chuckle passed through the lips of [Y/N] as she looked to the two girls from the corners of her eyes, “They have. They're all very lovely.” Barbara nodded as well and ran a hand through her red hair, pushing a loose hair behind her ear and tucking it behind her glasses leg. “That’s good. Come one, Bruce wants to talk to you three about next week's theme and dances.”

The three girls followed behind Barbara, [Y/N] remained somewhat silent while the other three engaged in conversation with one another and [Y/N] only spoke when she was spoken to by one of the other three, they all seemed confused as to why she wasn’t engaging in the conversation but she simply didn’t want to interrupt because they seemed so close and she was still a bit of an outsider.

“So, [Y/N], what brought you to Gotham?” Looking to Stefanie, who had asked the question, [Y/N] let out a small sigh, not one of annoyance but one of contempt and acceptance. “I just graduated college with a major degree in chemical engineering and a minor degree in business, somehow my father managed to get me an internship  with a big firm here, I can’t even remember the name.” As she started to twiddle her fingers, [Y/N] looked to the ground.

“But I’m not type of person who gets coffee for a misogynistic asshole who would do nothing to help me further myself in the field and would instead force me to get him coffee for the rest of his career and make unwanted sexual advances towards me. So, I quit before my first day and my roommate, Ivy, told me about the opening here.”

“I think you’re talking about Bryce Martel, he’s a sleazebag that used to come here all the time. Babs was his favourite dancer. I actually think his daughter marina auditioned with you?” Looking over to Cassandra now, [Y/N] thought about the other girls she auditioned with and what their names were.

“Yeah, there was a Marina. Didn’t seem to happy that I got the job.” All three of the girls shook their heads, as if that was an expected response from the girl. “Sounds about right. Marina is a daddy's little girl that's used to getting what she wants, has been trying to get a job here since she became legal. We think it’s just because she hasn’t gotten over Jason, they were a thing when they were both teenagers, but it was nothing serious.” This time it was Barbara that spoke.

Jason, [Y/N] thought back to who Jason was and an image of the man out front with the messy black hair that had a white streak through it and the brown leather jacket that seemed to fit his broad shoulder and arms very well, showing of his muscles well. “The bodyguard?” The others nodded and [Y/N] let out a ‘huh’ sound.

Barbaras knocking on the Bruce’s offices door broke her out of her train of thought and the deep ‘come in’ that sounded through the door sent a shiver down her spine, as even from a distance the voice of Bruce Wayne was intimidating. Barbara opened the door and as the four girls entered the office they were greeted with Dick, Jason, Tim, Duke, Harper, Helena,Kate (who she had meet that night while getting a bottle of water when she first arrived) and another man who was unfamiliar to [Y/N], but he was tall and handsome with bright blue eyes and dark hair, much like Bruce, but he had a much kinder look about him than Bruce did.

“This is my associate Clark Kent. He’s a journalist and wants to run a piece on the members of the team here at the Dark Knight, as well as the club as a whole. “ Bruce looked over the group he had with him and then his eyes settled on [Y/N], “[Y/N], I know your situation is….complicated, so you will not have a personal piece written about you.” Nodding along, a sigh of relief pass through [Y/N]’s lips, she didn’t want her parents finding out about her and they liked to read the papers so a personal piece about her was a sure fire way to find out about her. “However, you will have photo takens of you during the performances next week. These photos, though, will be mainly be long shots where it will be hard to make out faces. You should be fine.” Again, [Y/N] nodded.

“Clark will interview some of you tonight before closing.” Bruce pushed his chair back and crossed one leg over the other while he leaned his elbows on the arms of his chair, clasping his hands together and pressing it against his chin. “On the topic of the next week’s performances, they will all be from the hit musical Chicago. All of you will do mid-night performance of The Cell Block Tango, as well some of the other dancers to make up the numbers, and you will be partnered up. Dick with Cassandra doing the cicero, Tim with Stefanie pop, Jason with [Y/N] doing the six, and Duke you will be with Helena and you will do uh-uh part.”

The group looked at their respective partners, and they all seemed comfortable with their partners, even Jason seemed comfortable as he looked [Y/N] up and down. But, [Y/N] was slightly intimidated, this was a big dance and she didn’t know if she was ready for it. “I know they don’t seem like it [Y/N], but Jason and Tim are also dancers, they just choose to do different things in the club that they are better at. However, because this is a piece about family then they will be taking part whether they like it or not and you will be dancing in Barbara’s place.”

“You will also be doing a solo dance to a Chicago song of your choice and it will be choreographed by Dick.” That seemed to be the end of it as Bruce spoke one last time, “Now, the club is closing soon. You girls better prepare for the final dance and then you may all go home. Be safe going home though, Gotham can be dangerous at night.”

Everyone soon filed out of the room and went back to their respective places, the girls to the stage, Tim to the control console for the stage, Dick to backstage, Duke to the DJ booth, Helena and Kate back to the bar, and Jason back to the doors as people prepared to leave slightly drunk.

The final dance was quick, and when she finished [Y/N] was out of breath and sweaty but she was happy as the adrenaline coursed through her body and the applause of the crowd filled her ears.  

The other dancers were quick to leave, simply stripping from their costumes and getting into a pair of sweats and tank tops, giving goodbyes as they leave. [Y/N], however, spent some time getting her breath back from the performance and wiping the makeup that was beginning to smudge from her face and this left her as, what seemed to be the last person there. Of course that wasn’t true.

“You nearly done?” [Y/N] jumped slightly, Jason's voice scaring her as he spoke from behind her, never mind the fact that she was now simply standing in her underwear. But she paid no mind to that aspect as she pulled on her change of clothes, grey sweatpants and a red top that was branded with ‘New York City’.

“You scared me.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to. But you gave me quite the scare as well. Didn’t think there was anyone else here and I can’t lock up until everyone’s gone.” [Y/N] glanced over to Jason with a raised eyebrow.

“Sorry. Didn’t know that I was holding you back.” Jason shook his head, “Nah, I don’t mind. But now I’m gonna take you home because it’s dangerous at this time of night and I wouldn’t trust any of the cabbies in this city as far as I could throw them.”

[Y/N] now stood up straight with her eyebrow raised higher and her arms crossed over her chest, “I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.” Jason chuckled slightly and ruffled his hair, “You probably could kick most of the thugs in this cities ass if you’re fighting skills as good as your dancing skills.” Now [Y/N] rolled her eyes and let out a chuckle,”Okay, you got me there.”

[Y/N] lifted her bag, a sports bag, and moved the strap over her head so that the strap was on her right shoulder while the bag itself sat against her left hip and gave Jason a smile that he returned. “So you’re ready?” [Y/N] nodded and she followed Jason out of the building and towards the car park where a lone motorbike stood, Jason lifted the helmet that sat on it and handed it to [Y/N], “You’ll need it more than me.”  As she placed the helmet on her head, [Y/N] watched as Jasons back muscles flexed under his jacket as he got onto the back, his arms stretching out to grip the handles and turn the key to turn the motorbike on.

“Climb on.” [Y/N] barely heard the sound of his voice over the sound of the motorbike, but she did as she was told and threw her leg over the the motobike and wrapped her arms around Jason’s torso tightly.

Jason kicked the stand up and revved the engine for the bike before he started off, [Y/N] didn’t question how Jason knew where he was going as she just presumed that as the security he knew where all the staff lived.

The journey was quick, but it was exciting as [Y/N] felt the wind whip against her arms and sting at her skin as she had nothing to cover herself with, having only worn a short sleeved shirt. When Jason pulled up to her apartment complex, [Y/N] climbed of the bike and removed the helmet, handing it back to Jason as a smile broke onto her face as she brushed her hair back with her hand.

“That was amazing.” Jason smirked and raised an eyebrow, “Ah, so the princess is an adrenaline junkie?” A scoff of disbelief passed [Y/N]s lips as she rolled her eyes and briefly looked away from Jason to her window, where she saw Ivy peeking out, “I am not an adrenaline junkie.” Pushing against Jason chest as he sat back slightly on his bike and cross his arms. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.I just liked the feeling of the wind against my skin and moving so quickly through the silence of the city. It was...amazing. I only ever feel anything like that when I’m performing.” Jason’s smirk now turned into a smile, “I guess I’ll have to take you out again sometime.”

“Yeah, I guess you will.” [Y/N] stepped forward slightly and pressed a kiss to Jason’s cheek before she stepped back once again, “Thanks Jason. Good night.” With that, the girl turned away from Jason and walked into her apartment building, ignoring the pounding of her heart against her chest, not from the ride but from Jason.  

[lilleen]

So back in February I added to my list of goals that I would Get Out of My Comfort Zone, basically I’m going to try something new each month, that kind of “scares me” a little, in a good way, in an attempt to broaden my horizons and gain new experiences.

A few months ago, while at a burlesque show, I off handedly mentioned to my Bestie how I thought it would be a lot of fun to do. Welp, one thing lead to another and I was given the opportunity to kitten for Hotsy Totsy’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer tribute show.

  One of the things I love so much about burlesque is that the men and women involved exude such confidence and body positivity. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe that showing skin is the ONLY way to show off body positivity, but let’s be honest, you wouldn’t be able to, unless you had that confidence in yourself and your appearance. Performers come in all shapes and sized and every single one of them looks like they are having an absolute BLAST on stage. There is something just so beautiful and infectious about the atmosphere of a burlesque show. The audience is encouraged to be rowdy and ruckus, though it is important to remember to be respectful. I find Hotsy Totsy shows to be especially fun as they often center around geeky themes, which is clearly right up my alley.

Photo Credit: Jason Laboy; From L-R: Le Grand Chaton as Buffy, Puss-N-Boots as Drucilla, Handsome Brad as Giles and Cherry Pitz as Cherry Pitz, Vampire Slayer

  When I was given the chance to kitten for the show, I was both super excited and mildly terrified. For those of you not familiar with the term, when one is a Kitten at a burlesque show, duties include setting and clearing the stage for each act,helping out with the raffle and collecting tips at the end of the night. Sure, I grew up doing theatre, but unfortunately once I finished college the opportunities to perform on stage are few and far between, most of my life is spent behind a camera now. It had been many moons since I have been up in front of a live audience.  Plus one of my duties was selling raffle tickets and I am shit with math, so that was a little nerve-wracking.

  Giles and Amy Madison

Gotta tip your Go-Go

Sassy

Raffle Time

Despite my nerves, I managed to mostly pull it together. Was I the greatest ever? Hardly, but I like to think I managed a pretty good job, and I would be a complete liar if I said I didn’t have a TON of fun.

I lucked out with a fantastic line up. Not only were all of the performers fantastically talented, but also so sweet and welcoming. I couldn’t have wished for a better group to work with as a newbie. I also had a whole bunch of friends come out and support me, which was so amazing.  Honestly, I find myself at a loss for words to describe what a truly  unique and wonderful experience it was.

I would also be remiss if I didn’t HUGE praise to my EXTREMELY TALENTED Bestie, who not only encourages me in all my whims and endeavored, but is also a costuming magician and in a matter of a few days whipped together my costume. Seriously, she is a miracle worker.

For those of you who wanna check out one of their shows,  Hotsy Totsy’s next tribute will be to The Coen Brothers on April 13th. Click here for all details.

Challenge Accepted: Being A Kitten So back in February I added to my list of goals that I would Get Out of My Comfort Zone…

[sexhealtheduuncg]

Anjali Valentine, CA

1) I'm probably in the anomaly when I say this, but my healthcare experience has been quite positive, actually as someone who's LGBT-identifying. (I'm bisexual). I didn't really come out (I don't count being outed) until I was 17-18 years old, and I didn't publicly come out (on social media) until I was about 19. When I first started realizing I was bisexual, I was in a relationship with a guy, so it never really occurred to me that my healthcare might be differently impacted by being bi. When I was single and in LA, (and I hope this comes off right through text) I'd say I was open to the possibility of sexual experimentation with girls and definitely was attracted to some, but got really turned off towards the idea because I was constantly being pressured by male partners to be with girls for their pleasure. That said, I had an amazing doctor at UCLA (also an OB-GYN) who was really well versed and non-judgmental about having LGBT patients. I told her I was bisexual and she instantly told me about how most STI tests were very geared around assuming patients were sexually active with the opposite sex, and that she could order panels for certain STI's that were often overlooked for people attracted to the same sex. HIV testing was part of the STI test panel regardless, but you didn't get tested for things like trichomoniasis. UCLA also had an LGBT resource center that was fantastic, especially with offering meetings and events to discuss queer sex education. They offered dental dams, female condoms, regular condoms, and pamphlets on resources available for queer issues (even ones not related to sex education). I would definitely have to say that I was the most comfortable in my sexuality while living in Los Angeles in just about every facet - I could be open about it with my professors, peers, healthcare providers (including my therapist), the campus assault advocates, and so on. 2) The healthcare system needs to be reformed in more ways than just the medical field. It needs to be an all around effort to raise awareness about LGBTQIA+ identifying people and it also needs to have separation of church and state. Right now, tons of states still fund abstinence-only sex education because of a heavily influenced Christian agenda about premarital sex being a sin and whatnot. If we can't even discuss contraception/protection for heterosexual people, then there's no chance we can even begin to discuss what it means to have a healthy sex life as a queer-identifying person. Sex education is simply not current anymore, either. Right now, we're at the lowest birth rate we've had possibly ever because most millennials are deciding not to have children for a multitude of reasons. Sex education is still heavily centered around preventing an unplanned pregnancy (the agenda to end teen pregnancy was really big when I was growing up with shows like Secret Life of the American Teenager) but not nearly enough focus is given to preventing STI's (unless you want to show graphic pictures of what STI's look like as a scare tactic to young, impressionable adolescents). Most kids learned about sex because of scare tactics in their sex education classes, not because of a healthy and open conversation to answer any questions they might have. On that note about STI's, most people I know still never get tested because of the stigma surrounding having an STI in general. (The other common barrier is financial limitations, which I will address later on). It's also worth mentioning that in many areas, it's still an option for parents to opt their kids out of taking sex education to begin with because they think the information will make their kids more interested in sex (god forbid) or that it's evil in some way. I also think that gym teachers shouldn't be the ones to teach sex ed classes, it should be people actually educated beyond basics (such as Planned Parenthood staff). I think the majority of the issues surrounding LGBT healthcare have to do with ignorance of LGBT people in general. The movie Philadelphia, with Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington illustrates this beautifully because it came out during the height of the AIDS epidemic and shows attitudes towards people afflicted with AIDS - even highlighting the social death AIDS-afflicted people often face because of misinformation about the disease. If you check out a documentary called United in Anger, it's about a group that formed in New York City called Act Up (AIDS Coalition To Unleash Power) to raise awareness about people with AIDS (this is also the group that went to the White House lawn and scattered loved ones ashes who had died from AIDS as a message to former President Reagan for never addressing AIDS once in his presidency). One of the biggest barriers to tackling LGBT related healthcare issues is the lack of accessibility to drugs to treat HIV, one being AZT and a new one called PrEP+ that just came out. (AZT helps prolong the lives of people already afflicted with HIV so it doesn't progress to AIDS, and PrEP+ is a drug to protect people more vulnerable to being given HIV from someone else to help their body develop immunity). Most people afflicted with the illness are already marginalized in so many ways that being able to afford a potentially life-saving drug is simply not possible. This is also reflective of a larger issue within American healthcare, which is the constant refusal from our government to implement universal healthcare. 3) I'd say I'm pretty satisfied with the level of care I get, but that said, I also know I speak from a position of privilege by having access to quality health insurance and an amazing doctor who works at an LGBT-friendly clinic here in Salt Lake City. I'm also in a relationship with a man, as opposed to someone female or non-binary, which often doesn't make my sexuality obvious to people.    4) I really don't think most medical professionals are educated on LGBTQIA+ related issues. This is also pretty reflective of a lot of larger issues within medicine, such as how most doctors appointments are done on a time crunch, which doesn't allow for much trust to be built with a patient. There's also so much to tackle within intersectional identities in patients, such as racism, sexism, sexual orientation, and so on. A lot of beliefs are still pretty heavily ingrained such as POC having a higher pain tolerance, women often being written off as hysterical or overdramatic when they talk about pain, and so on. It also doesn't help that medicine is still such a white male dominant field, and I've had friends from more marginalized populations who try to be a change in the system only to be bullied out of their pre-med classes, or face discrimination from professors, and so on. 5) I don't have any other thoughts for now, but I'm def gonna send more your way if they come up! I could honestly talk about this forever because of all the intricacies and nuances that accompany any kind of marginalized identity, but I don't think they'd make a whole lot of sense in an email. Name: Anjali Valentine Pronouns: She/Her/Hers Something unique about me: I love to dance and perform! I take voice lessons and train in urban and hip hop, jazz, tap, heels/burlesque, and a little bit of ballet. I want to be in the entertainment industry as either a cast member for Saturday Night Live, or on Broadway (or some kind of theatrical equivalent in another city). I also love to do photography! 

[artificialqueens]

To New Hytes (Group fic) 3/? - Mac

AN: Again, bless Meggie for betaing this! I literally could not do any of this without her. She is a literal angel.

Summary: Vanessa is pissed, Brooke doesn’t care, Kameron is most probably falling in love, and Trixie meets an interesting woman at the bar.

Vanessa looked out the window to the bus and observed the passing greenery. There was a strange sort of calm she always got when travelling that made the passing trees look friendly.

The other passengers did not have this same sense of calm, however. Specifically, Scarlet.

The young stage manager was anxiously looking around the bus, knee bouncing up and down so aggressively that Yvie had to place her hand on Scarlet’s leg at least four times during the trip. The older girl finally gave up after the fifth time and threw her own legs into her girlfriend’s lap to stop the bouncing.

Scarlet gave her an apologetic smile but Yvie reassured her it was fine with a small peck.

Vanessa groaned in the seat across from them.

“You two are disgustin’.”

“They’re always like that, get used to it, chica,” A’keria spoke up from beside Vanessa, without looking up from her book.

Trixie popped up from the back of the bus to yell over to them. “Do you guys remember when we were in Stockholm and they got caught-”

“Okay, okay. Enough! We get it!” Scarlet interrupted, face flushed all of a sudden.

Vanessa turned back to A’keria who rolled her eyes at Scarlet and Yvie’s PDA.

“How’d that happen?” Vanessa whispered, tilting her head in the direction of the young couple.

“Honestly, I’m not really sure,” A’keria admitted, finally pulling her attention away from the book in her lap. “For as long as I’d known Scarlet, she didn’t look twice at anyone who was interested in her. Then one day Yvie and her started talking. It was weird cause all the sudden they both started acting like middle schoolers.” A’keria motioned to the couple in question as if to say ‘see what I mean,’ before continuing. “Scarlet softened almost overnight and started talking to the rest of us like we were people finally, and Yvie has had that dumb smile on her face ever since.”

“They seem like polar opposites.”

“They do, don’t they? That’s the weird thing too.” A’keria shrugged. “But they work real well together. And for all the grief we give ‘em, they make each other better.”

Vanessa hummed.

Satisfied with her answer for now, Vanessa chanced a look around the bus, taking in the faces of her fellow dancers.

A row ahead of her, Nina and Monet were putting the final touches on the promo video for the North American tour. Call it last minute, call it procrastination, call it lazy, Vanessa had noted that Nina and Monet did their best work when under a time crunch. They were giggling and joking like they were the only two people in the world.

A few rows back, Trixie and Blair were talking animatedly about something or another. Blair was rifling through notebook after notebook to Trixie’s repeated squeals of joy.

Violet sat in the very back with the girls from the burlesque number - Dela and Jinkx were their names from what Vanessa could remember - they sat squashed between a few crew members. They all chatted like old friends while Violet scrolled through her phone looking bored out of her skull - so her usual look.

Brooke and Kameron sat in the front looking out the windows and whispering with small smiles on their faces.

It was weird seeing Brooke so calm. Nerves not eating at her, stress not making her snap. She and Kameron looked at peace with each other. It made something settle in Vanessa’s stomach, something… decidedly not pleasant.

Brooke glanced over at her and caught her staring. Vanessa blushed. She fucking blushedand Brooke shot her a smirk before turning back to her conversation. Kameron gave Brooke a knowing smile and rolled her eyes.

Vanessa was fucked.

…

Kameron placed the last piece of equipment in the truck.

She turned back to the now empty theatre; most of the crew members had turned in for the night after Kameron assured them that she had it handled.

This was Kameron’s favorite part of the job. When the theatre was empty, the adrenaline humm in the air was still present, but less intense. It was like a warm blanket wrapped around shoulders that made her feel like anything was possible.

It was also two thirty in the morning. The added sleep deprivation might have also played a part in the feeling.

She made her way back into the theatre, checking to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything.

She looked out at the now empty audience. The urge she always got when standing on a stage was brought back. It gnawed at her gut like a hunger from which she would never be full.

She sighed in and out and looked left and right, even though she knew no one was around. Fine. Fine, she said to the urge. Just once.

Kameron took center stage, ignored the unrelenting nerves and let herself breathe, finally. She hadn’t danced in almost two years. She didn’t know if she could still do it.

Who was she kidding? Of course she could still do it.

She let herself breathe, filled her lungs with air that felt like long nights and early mornings in a studio she didn’t own.

In and out.

Then, she let go.

She let years of fear and nerves and holding herself back disappear like they never existed.

She let her body find its rhythm. She turned and dipped and moved like she didn’t let two years of fear keep her from doing this thing she loved. Kameron brought her arms up to float beside her. They found their timing. It took a moment, but they found their timing.

She let her head slow down and her body take over. The music that was always playing in her mind came to a crescendo. She let it happen.

And when it was over, she let herself come to a stop. She breathed in and out heavily and tried to keep from smiling like an idiot.

She failed.

A soft clapping from behind her jolted Kameron out of her head. Blair was standing on the side of the stage looking at her like she was a vision. Like she was beautiful. Like she still has it.

Kameron felt so incredibly powerful and scared shitless at the same time.

She blushed but mimed a bow, making Blair giggle.

“You didn’t tell me you were a dancer!”

Kameron walked over to her slowly stumbling over her words and trying to keep from stumbling her feet. “I’m not. Well, not anymore.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Blair teased.

Kameron smiled.

Blair smiled back.

“You’re a little late ya know, you gotta wait for a real audience next time.”

“You are a real audience.” Kameron’s mind spoke before she could stop it.

Blair blushed but hesitated a moment before speaking. “Why don’t you-”

“The limelight isn’t really my thing.”

Blair gave her a knowing smile. “Now you’re the one lyin’ to me.”

Kameron bit her lip at her own words echoed back at her.

She sighed.

“You don’t gotta tell me if ya don’t want to,” Blair quickly reassured. “I just… I think you’re real good. That’s all. Didn’t mean to overstep.”

Kameron tried to placate her, while at the same time not giving too much away.“You didn’t. It’s just… not a pretty story.”

“You think just cause I make pretty things I can’t handle a little ugly?”

“No, I just mean-”

Blair cut her off gently. “I know what you mean, Kameron. It’s okay. You don’t gotta tell me yet.”

Kameron wanted to. God, she really wanted to. She had no idea why, but she trusted Blair implicitly. Maybe it was the young girl’s openness at their first meeting. Or maybe it was how kind her eyes looked. Maybe it was because Kameron was assuredly falling in love with her.

“One day, I will. I promise,” Kameron spoke softly.

“One day,” Blair echoed.

…

Vanessa was pissed.

It had been almost a month since she joined the company and she hadn’t performed once with them.

She had her number all prepared.

Actually, her number was more than prepared. It was technically perfect.

She had been so hell-bent on getting it right that Vanessa recruited Alyssa to work with her after hours. Vanessa had spent hours upon hours perfecting her craft, not including the additional hours when she rehearsed with the other girls.

And still, she wasn’t allowed to perform.

Vanessa was pissed.

Vanessa stormed up to the nearest dancer, all flames and Puerto Rican spitfire. “Where’s the boss?” she demanded.

“She’s somewhere back there.” Violet barely looked up from inspecting her nails and waved her hand dismissively to the backstage of the theatre they were performing at tonight.

Vanessa took off in the vague direction Violet gave. She wandered around for a few moments before spotting the ridiculously tall ballerina in the corner on her phone.

Vanessa set her jaw and stormed up to Brooke.

“What gives?”

Brooke looked up from her phone and gave Vanessa a once over. “What do you want, Mateo?”

“You brought me on, make me work my ass off every day of my life but still won’t let me perform.”

“You aren’t ready,” Brooke answered simply.

“The fuck you mean I’m not ready? I been doin’ the damn work.”

Brooke tucked her phone in her pocket. Vanessa now had her full attention. It was almost too intense to be on the receiving end of the unyielding stare.

Brooke took a few steps forward, crowding into Vanessa’s space.

Vanessa didn’t back down, no matter how much she wanted to cower.

“You. Aren’t. Ready.” Brooke punctuated each word with a step forward.

They were inches apart now, tiptoeing ever closer to the line they had drawn on day one. It was equal parts exhilarating and scary.

“You’re wrong.” Vanessa cursed her voice for breaking.

“I’m never wrong.” Brooke answered cooly, as she took another step impossiblycloser. “But maybe this is a first. Maybe bringing you on was a mistake.” Brooke looked up to the ceiling like she was thinking for a moment, like she was genuinely considering firing Vanessa. The next second, Brooke’s eyes were burning holes into Vanessa’s own. “Was it?”

“No,” Vanessa whispered.

Brooke pressed her luck. “No, what?”

Fuck

“No, mami.”

Brooke gave a huge smirk.

Checkmate.

Brooke tucked a piece of Vanesa’s hair behind her ear. “Next time I see you, your hair better be pulled back.” The gentle gesture was perverted by Brooke’s tone. Commanding and stern, but with an edge of… something else. “I have rules, or did you forget already?”

I have rules.

Brooke said I. Not we. Not the company. Brooke.

Brooke had rules.

Vanessa watched, mouth agape, stomach still somersaulting, as Brooke turned on her heel and left without another word.

…

Trixie didn’t like going out.

So, when Violet and A’keria drag their fellow performers and crew members out to a local bar to ‘let loose’ Trixie planned on calling it an early night and curling up in her hotel room with some Netflix and shitty hotel food.

But it was A’keria’s birthday, and she insisted that everyone adhere to her every whim. She had practically pulled Trixie out of her room and all the way to the Uber.

Trixie resigned herself to the bar for the night and sipped her drink for a while, aimlessly searching the room for anything interesting.

She noticed Nina and Brooke on the dance floor chatting loudly over the music. They were giggling like children and hanging off each other in a way that betrayed their ‘just friends’ label.

Vanessa was standing by the far wall with Kameron, finding any excuse to touch up on her arms.

Monet was sat next to Trixie staring none too subtly at Nina and Brooke.

A’keria and Violet were chatting with their latest conquests. Trixie rolled her eyes at the poor girls who had fallen into their trap.

Trixie got so lost in her own head she hardly noticed the young blonde sliding up next to her.

A thick Russian accent accompanied the woman’s presence. “Friends dragged you out too?”

Trixie turned her head to look at the woman. She was dressed…eccentrically. That was the only word that really encaptured the woman. She had on a t-shirt dress covered in bright red rhinestones with her hair in a style that resembled braided space buns, but if you looked close enough, it just looked to be a tangled mess. Her knee high boots and hand earrings completed the odd look.

“How’d you figure that one?”

“It’s the only reason such a pretty girl would be looking anywhere but at me,” the stranger replied with a wink.

Trixie laughed.

So eccentric and cocky. The stranger was beautiful, Trixie gave her that. She was that kind of weird beauty that took a second to sink it. But it did sink in.

“Gotta lot of confidence for such a plain Jane,” Trixie shot back.

“Oh, baby, there ain’t nothin’ plain about me.” The stranger had suddenly lost her Russian accent, causing Trixie to do a double take.

The stranger just laughed.

Trixie tried to not let it phase her, and kept her tone light and teasing. “You’re telling me. I mean, who wears that to a club?” Trixie nodded in the direction of the stranger’s attire.

The stranger suddenly got very sullen and cast her eyes downwards. “It was my babushka’s.” The stranger spoke softly now. “She passed recently. This was her favorite outfit.”

“Oh, fuck-”

“Katya,” the stranger interrupted, through sniffles.

“Katya, I’m so sorry.”

The stranger - Katya - turned away from Trixie and the young girl could only make out her shoulders shaking in the dim bar light.

Great fucking job, Trixie, you finally get the guts to talk to a girl and she’s now crying.

It took an embarrassingly long time for Trixie to realize that Katya was not actually crying, but laughing.

“I’m messing with you, myshka!” Katya said through giggles as she turned back around in her chair to meet Trixie’s eyes.

The younger girl punched her in the arm, her face tried to conjure up a look of anger, but settled on bemusement. “That’s not funny! You can’t do that to people!”

Trixie should have been mad… or weirded out at the least. She wasn’t. She was…intrigued.

“Well, you aren’t just people, now are you?” The flirty tone and lack of accent were back with full force again.

Trixie felt like she had whiplash.

“What makes you say that?”

“I have a knack for spotting interesting people.”

“Oh really?” Katya nodded. “Anyone else interesting here, besides yours truly of course.”

“Of course,” Katya echoed with a predatory smile. “Well, you see that short one in the corner over there? The one touching up on that absolute beefcake of a woman?”

“Her name is Vanessa.” Trixie interjects.

“Ahhh, Vanessa. Makes sense.”

“Does it?”

“Hmmm, yes, she was a knight in a past life.” At Trixie’s confused laugh, Katya explained, “Did I fail to mention I’m also a psychic?”

“You seem to be failing to mention a lot of things.”

“Ahh, yes, such is the fault of a genius, I’m afraid.” Katya pointed to her own head, and Trixie laughed again.

In a rare moment of vulnerability, Trixie’s mouth spoke before her brain could process. “You are by far the most interesting person I’ve ever met.”

Katya didn’t miss a beat. “Wait till you meet my grandmother!”

Trixie laughed, a full bellied one that left her straining to catch her breath. She didn’t. Or she couldn’t. At least not until later.

She and Katya talked for what felt like hours, but was probably only minutes. The banter was easy and fun. Light and sexy at the same time that it was deep and meaningful.

Trixie would have been content to sit at the bar all night and day hearing Katya talk. Her accent harsh, but her words soft as they spoke about the places she’d been or the people she’d loved.

It was the kind of immediate connection you felt with a person. Almost like your whole life had been leading up to this one interaction. Or maybe that was just Trixie’s romanticism getting the best of her.

Because only a few moments later, their little bubble was burst by Dela grabbing Trixie’s arm to pull her attention and whispering that they had to get back to the hotel now. Something about Nina needing to be taken care of.

Trixie looked over to see that yes, Nina did in fact need some assistance. She was practically hanging off Brooke for stability and stumbling around the room, running into people left and right. At one point, she even leant up to kiss Brooke on the forehead. That was the point at which Trixie knew she was needed.

Trixie shot Katya an apologetic look before getting up to help her friend. Katya stopped her with a hand to her wrist.

The enigmatic woman reached over the bar, much to the chagrin of the bartender, to knick a pen. She left her phone number in swooping numbers and a little heart with an arrow through it on Trixie’s wrist.

The younger girl tried to not swoon at the sight.

She left Katya with a wink and a promise to text her before being dragged out of the bar to the cool night air.

As soon as she got the chance, Trixie saved the contact in her phone with an emoji of a heart with an arrow through it.

[gothxmsirxns-blog]

Show Me How You Burlesque

pairing: Batfam x Female!reader

[ part one ] [ part three ] [ part 4.0 ]

plot: Burlesque AU : After graduating college, [Y/N] becomes a dancer at The Dark Knight, a prestigious Burlesque club located in Gotham City as a way to stay on her feet while trying to find a ‘proper job’

warnings: sexual implications, cursing

tags: @memento-scribet @4evahevah @dc-hoe @freethecagedeggs 

words: 4180

a/n: sorry this is late! My life is been a bit hectic lately with a few assignments due the past week and for the next month I’m pretty busy with assignments and end of year stuff for college, but I will try and have chapter 3 up within the next week or two, depending on when I get free time. Also, remember to take the poll on who reader should end up with! As it currently stands, Jason is in the lead with 41% of the vote and Tim is second with 37% of the vote.  

Here is a list of the batfam’s position in the club;

Bruce Wayne - owner

Alfred Pennyworth - manager

Dick Grayson - choreographer

Barbara Gordon - social media, advertising,websites - former dancer

Jason Todd - security

Tim Drake - stage design, special effects

Stefanie Brown - dancer

Cassandra Cain - dancer

Damian Wayne - no job, behind the scenes

Duke Thomas - music/dj

Kate Kane - bar

Helena Bertinelli - table dancer, bar

Harper Row - costume and makeup, special effects.

After being told that she would be the new dancer, [Y/N] was lead into the back and to Mr.Wayne's office in order to go over some legal documents that included her contract, insurance policies, and confidentiality agreements because apparently some heavy hitters from the Gotham social and political circle liked to frequent the club and they needed their secrecy.  

Their meeting didn’t take too long and when it was completed, [Y/N] was lead to the costume and makeup department by the child she had previously met earlier, this time he had introduced himself as Damian Wayne and he was Bruce’s son that tended to help behind the scenes with the recruitment and keeping things runnings by helping where it was needed.

Here she was meet with a young woman who had electric blue hair and a measuring tape around her neck, with her hands skipping through outfits that were hanging on a rail a few feet away from the many vanity mirrors that were lined against the wall opposite the door she had walked through.

“Row.” Damians voice cut through the air and caused the young woman to look around with a displeased look on her face and an eyebrow raised, “Yes Damian?”

Motioning towards [Y/N], who now looked slightly uncomfortable as the two people with her stared each other down with a slight look of disdain on both of their faces, Damian spoke with a stiff voice, “This is [Y/N] she’s the new dancer.” Now he turned to walk away, only to speak once again before actually walking out the door, “Father wants you to take her measurements so  you can prepare costumes for her. The first one for tomorrow nights performance.”

Looking between the two, [Y/N] was slightly panicked. She knew she was starting soon, but the next night wasn’t expected and Bruce didn’t say anything to her about a starting day but she guesses tomorrow night wasn’t too bad.

Harper now looked at the girl for the first time since she walked into the room and she had a small smile on her face as she did, her eyes scanning her body up and down and this caused a blush to rise on [Y/N]’s check as she watched ‘Rows’ eyes wander. The blue haired girl walked towards her with the smile still on her face as she reached up to take the measuring tape off her neck.

“I’m Harper, I’m in charge of costumes and makeup. I also help Tim with the special effects of the show. So fireworks, smoke machine that sort of thing. I need you to take your clothes off “ [Y/N] he removed her clothes slowly and shyly as Harper removed the measuring tape from around her neck and wrapped it around [Y/N]’s waist, pulling her close to her body using the two side of the table before meeting the edge of the tape with the actual tape where it would give an accurate measurement of waist size.

“[waist size], that’s a good size. Now let's get your chest size.” Harper removed the tape from [Y/N]’s waist and wrapped it around her chest, above her boobs, “Can you lift your arms up for me and straighten your back?” Doing as she was told, [Y/N] failed to suppress her blush as it brightened as Harper’s hands wrapped around the top of her chest and then around under her boobs to get an accurate measurement for chest size.

“All good. Next is your legs.” Harper moved down [Y/N]’s body, her hand trailing over the side as she did and stopping at her thigh as she now wrapped the measuring tape around her thigh to get its measurement before moving down further to get the measurements for her calf and ankles before measuring her actual leg length.  As Harper stood back up, her face was very close to [Y/N]’s face, who happened to have a rather large blush that had spread to the entirety of her face from her cheeks and this caused a smirk to rise on Harper’s face slightly as she stepped back from her position in front of the girl to once again look at costumes.

“You took Barbara’s place, right?” [Y/N] nodded slowly as she started to redress, only to vocalise her response once she realised Harper couldn’t see her responses, “Uh..yeah.”To this Harper nodded and pulled out an outfit, a white bra with diamante stripes on one cup and white material on the other with what looked like leaves sprouting from the back matched with a nude bottom covered with diamantes as well with a sparkling belt that provided a puffy white fabric at the back. “This was supposed to be her costume for tomorrow's performance, the theme for costuming is ‘fairy garden’, for some reason. With a few adjustments it will be ready for you for tomorrow night.”

Nodding, [Y/N] looked over the outfit once again. It was pretty and she was sure she would be able to dance in it, having danced in some extravagant outfits before. “Thank you Harper.” Harper waved her hand, brushing the comment off, “No problem.” Turning towards [Y/N], Harper smiled at her and let her hand fall down, the costume almost hitting the ground as she did, “Hey, don’t worry. Stef and Cas are super nice and Helena is an amazing mentor. You will do fine.”  Giving a small smile back to Harper, [Y/N] brushed her hair behind her ear and let out a small sigh, “Thanks.”

[Y/N] jumped slightly as she heard the door slam behind her, she didn’t think whoever entered meant to slam the door, but they did in their haste to enter the room.  A deep chuckle left the lips of the person who had entered and a voice that [Y/N] recognised as Dick Grayson spoke to her and apologised for scaring her, “Sorry about that.”

Turning to look at Dick, [Y/N] shook her head and looked down to the ground and let out a small chuckle, “It’s okay. I just wasn’t expecting that.” Crossing his arms over his chest, Dick looked down at the smaller girl and smiled at her. “Come on. Bruce wants me to run through tomorrow night’s routines with you to let you see it and then he wants me to go over it with you again most of tomorrow before the club opens to make sure you have the routine down”

Nodding, [Y/N] turned once again and said goodbye to Harper before following Dick out onto the main stage area, which was connected to the costume and makeup room from one side while the control panel for the lights and special effects were on the other side. On this side stood a man, smaller than Dick with slightly broad shoulders and dark hair that matched that of Bruce, Dick, and Damian and he was fiddling around with something under the control panel. “Tim!”

It seemed he was deep in thought, or deep in fixing something to the point where he wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings and jumped at the sound of his, apparent, name which caused him to bump his head against the control panel. He came up to look at Dick, who was biting his lip to stop from laughing, with a hand rubbing his head where he hit it and his mouth spurting a few curses at the panel and at Dick.

“What’s up?” Dick crossed his arm over his chest and used one hand to motion to [Y/N] before returning it to it’s original position over his chest. “This is [Y/N], out new dancer. Why don’t you come over and introduce yourself?”

‘Tim’ now moved his hand from his head and walked towards the duo on the stage with a sheepish smile, reaching his hand out when he got to the two. “I’m Tim Drake. It’s nice to meet you [Y/N].” Letting a smile spread across her face, [Y/N] took Tim’s hand and shook it, “Nice to meet you to Tim.”

Tim then moved back to his position behind the control panel and [Y/N] turned around to face Dick as he explained to her what was going to be shown to her. “Okay, so tomorrow. You will be doing a group dance with all the other dance, a trio dance with Cassandra and Stefanie who used to do the trio dance with Barbara and a solo dance.”

____

“Yes mom….I’m fine.” Moving around her kitchen, [Y/N] spoke to her mother on the phone with a roll of her eyes almost every second as she listened to her mother's voice on the other line, with the occasional input of her father. Reaching up to lift a mug out of her cupboard, [Y/N] let out a sigh, “Yeah...the jobs going fine.”

Of course,the job they were talking about wasn’t the job she actually had but the job her parents had arranged for her to have that she quit before even starting because it wasn’t what she wanted. “Love you too mom.” As she lifted the teapot from its position on the stove and started to pour her tea into her cup she heard her father fussing about how the job they had got for her was perfect for her. “Dad….Dad I have to go. My roommate needs help moving some things into her room.”

She rolled her eyes once again as her mother, for the 12 time during their phone call, told her how proud she was off her and how much she loved her. “Ye-yea-yeah mom. I know. Love you, gotta go.” Hanging up her phone, she placed it screen down on the counter and lifted her mug, taking a sip of her tea and throwing her head back slightly in contentedness when she pulled the mug from her lips.

“Good day?” [Y/N] turned to face her roommate, a tall redhead with a love of flowers who worked as a successful botanist who only took on a roommate at the request of a friend. Nodding, a smile took over [Y/N]’s lips, “It was a very good day Ivy.” Her roommate, Dr.Palmela Isley, went by Ivy because her love of her flowers gained her the nicknames while she was still in college.

“I got the job at The Dark Knight and meet a cute guy and girl.” Palmela smiled and walked to the cupboard, taking out her own mug and filling it with hot tea, “That’s good. When do you start?”

“Tomorrow night. But I’ll be in practice all day with Dick, the choreographer to get the routine down.” Palmela nodded and took a sip of her tea, it was a herbal tea that she had picked up that day and was actually quite good.

“Congratulations, take it your parents don’t know?” Palmela had known [Y/N]’s mother, having met her previously while attending a lecture with Harley on psychology and became somewhat of a friend to the woman. [Y/N] shook her head and looked to the ground, “No, I don’t know if it’s a permanent solution or not. I’ll look for a job that suits my degree, but the pay's good and if I like it I’ll stay.”

___

The next night, after an intense run through with Dick and the other dancers, including Stephanie and Cassandra who were as nice as Harper said they were, [Y/N] was preparing for her first preparing for the first performance of the night. It was the opening performance that included all the dancers that Bruce had, a total of a dozen or so. The costume was different than the one she had been shown the day before by Harper, she was informed that it was for her solo dance which came after Cassandra’s solo and was followed by Stefanies solo and then their trio dance.  

The first costume was a little more basic than the solo costume, it was a simple sparkly leotard that was mesh from under the bob to wear it connects with the underwear with a hold in the side of it that exposed her bellybutton but still looked quite nice and sleek on her.

As she started to apply her makeup in a way that was shown to her earlier by Harper, Stefanie, who had already finished her makeup and looked stunning, came up to her with a smile on her face and placed her hands on her shoulder. “Let me.” With a gentle nod, [Y/N] let Stefanie turn her around to face her and started on her makeup and as she worked conversation flowed between the two.

“So, how long have you been dancing?” The first question was from Stefanie and as [Y/N] moved only her eyes to look to the ceiling so Stefanie could apply some purple eyeliner she answered with a slightly strained voice, “Um...since I was 6.” As Stefanie told her to look straight ahead she did, “My mom is a former ballerina turned psychologist and put me into ballet and gymnastics when I was old enough to start and that developed into me taking on acro dancing in my early teen.”

Stefanie nodded along as she listened to what was being said, “Acro’s my favourite, though I do a lot of aerial work here, I like to always go back to it when I need a reminder of why I dance and why I’m here.” [Y/N] had never done any true aerial work, she had done the simple stuff with the chains the day before but not any real aerial work that put her in harms way and she was fascinated as Stefanie continued to talk about her aerial work and how she did it and how amazing Dick was as a choreographer, really honing in on each girls individual skill for their sets and dances.

“There. All done.” When [Y/N] looked into the mirror, she was slightly amazed as she knew she wouldn’t have been able to do such a good job herself when it came to the makeup. It seemed simple enough, but she knew it wasn’t. It was a dark green eye that blended out into some purples and reds at the edges with some purple eyeliner on the bottom lid with perfect winged eyeliner on the top lid with a simple dark green metallic, and slightly shimmery, lip.

“Thank you Stefanie.” A smile spread to Stefanies lips as she looked over the girl, “It’s not a problem. Here we look for each other and you’re the new girl, so it’s our job to make you feel comfortable here and out there. Best way to do that is with a killer look, so even if you mess up, you look good doing it.” A small chuckled passed [Y/N]’s lips as she looked to Stefanie who extended her hand to the girl, “Now come on. First dance starts soon and we need to be in position.”

Taking Stefanies hand, [Y/N] followed her to where the stage, where the other girls were getting in position. On the stage was 12 chairs, all set equal distances apart and in a set pattern with ties loosely tied around the back for the performance and on each side of the stage, leaning against the stage walls were the dancers. [Y/N] and Stefanie went to the right hand side, closest to the control panel where [Y/N] have Tim a small smile, which he returned. Here they were joined by Cassandra, Stefanies partner in crime, and Helena who would ‘mentor’ [Y/N] and help her with any routines she needed help with, and two other dancers called Tess and Lacy.

As the current went up and the music started,[Y/N] took a deep breath and tried to find her center as she started to dance along with the other girls, starting at the wall and then walking towards her assigned chair that was marked at the back so the audience wouldn’t see it. As she danced, any chance she got she looked out into the audience, slightly amazed at how many people were there and how they all seemed to be enjoying the dance whether they were male or female or whether or not they were with partners or now. The applause she heard, drove her to do better and she got more into the dance, determined to show off and do her best for her first performance. When the dance ended, she took a bow with the rest of the girls before rushing off stage to allow for the first solo performance of the night.

Adrenaline buzzed through [Y/N] veins, she had forgotten how much she loved to perform for a crowd and how much it drove her to do better in her dancing. Helena came up behind her with a smile on her face and she placed her hand on [Y/N]’s shoulder, “You did great out there!” With a smile and a small chuckle, [Y/N] turned to Helena and let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you.”

It was a relief, to know that someone who had been here for so long and was so experienced through they did good, it was a nice feeling. Dick then came up to [Y/N] and congratulated her, and then reminded her that the hardest part was still to come and that was the solo. [Y/N] shook her head and reassured him that she was ready for it, the solo was something she knew, something she had done before because Bruce had insisted she use the choreography she auditioned with, and of course she agreed because it was something she knew and something she had very little chance of messing up having done it so many times.

Now all she had to do was get ready. Sitting down at her vanity, [Y/N] looked into the mirror and saw the beads of sweat start to run down her forehead, not surprising, but it was only a tiny bit of sweat that she was wiping away with her makeup to start on the makeup for her solo and for her performance with Stefanie and Cassandra.

She made quick work of wiping away her makeup and applying fresh makeup, though this one was much simpler than the previous one as it with a simple black lip and white eyeshadow covering both her eyes, as if it was a mask. But, hey, it worked with the costume she had to wear so she wasn’t going to question it, besides she trusted Harper knew what she was doing when she planned all this stuff out. Once she was done with her makeup, she changed into her costume and made her way to the side of the stage and stood beside the control panel, beside Tim, where she could watch Cassandra’s solo.

Cassandra moved so beautifully, her dance was slower than the rest of the girls dances but she moved so fluidly and gracefully that no one really cared. This was her style, her style leaned more towards the contemporary ballet style but was mixed with the sexiness of burlesque and some gogo techniques and it worked so well when she moved that when she finished she was meet with a huge applause, even from her fellow dancers and this left her with a grin on her face as she walked to the side of stage and stood beside [Y/N], reaching down to take her hand and squeezing it gently as she did. “Good luck.” The words were whispered softly into her ear by Cassandra and Tim gave her a thumbs up and a reassuring smile, too busy to talk as her focused on the words coming through on the headphones he wore on his ear.

[Y/N] gave them both a smile as she walked to the stage and to where she would start, she wasn’t starting in the middle of the stage but rather closer to the front where everyone would be able to see her and how she moved, as well as being the location of the chains she needed. As she got in position, letting her hand wrap around the chains, the lack of lights hiding her from the view of the guests, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, waiting for the music to begin. As the music began, she felt the energy of the room change from the graceful bliss that was Cassandra’s performance to a more erotic feel to match her song and dance. She got lost in the music, moving fluidly and quickly between moves and when the dance came to an end the applause she heard was deafening, it seemed that the guests were impressed with the new dancer replacing a crowd favourite. But of course, there was one person in the back simply looking at the stage with a murderous glare as [Y/N] moved, before they stood from their chair, knocking it and a glass over onto the ground causing it to smash as they did.

With a brief bow, [Y/N] moved of the stage and to the side beside Cassandra who congratulated her on a job well done as Stefanie moved to the stage, the chains that previously been there replaced with velvet material that hung in large amounts from the ceiling. Again, [Y/N] watched in awe as Stefanie moved beautiful from her dance on the ground to the dance in the air as Tim moved the fabric higher up, with Stefanie attached to it and moving beautifully. At the end, [Y/N] was sure her heart was going to burst out of her chest as she spun down from the fabric, with the fabric wrapped around her, as it seemed to [Y/N] she didn’t have enough fabric to reach the bottom, but she did, and she spun until she was a foot of the floor and could easily let herself down. Again, she was meet with a deafening applause, like the one received by Cassandra and [Y/N], even from her fellow dancers as she never ceased to impress them when she danced.

Stefanie then walked over to the panel with a smile on her face and her hand strung together in front of her, her fingers locked together, as she rose an eyebrow at [Y/N], “You ready?” Nodding, [Y/N] smiled at the blonde and let out a happy sigh, “Now more than ever.” Stefanie smiled at this and took both [Y/N]’s and Cassandra’s hand, dragging them onto stage as the curtain went down for a moment, letting Tim prepare the stage for their performance, meaning he got rid of the props and the fabric and the chains and anything else that would get in the way of the performance, except the chairs they were using.

The curtain started to lift and the music started to play, and as the lights shined down on the three of them, the dance began. It was a simple dance, compared to the solos they had completed, there wasn’t as many stunts but it was still sexy. In fact, it focused on being sexy instead of showing of the individual skill of the dancers like the solos did, and it worked. Anyone in the crowd would say that it was sexy, and Dick was proud of how it had worked out.

So was Bruce, as Bruce watched on from his position at the bar, having come out during Cassandra’s solo to see how it all went and to see if [Y/N] worked well with Cassandra and Stefanie. Of course, the final dance was shorter than the rest, lasting only a minute, but it was enough to get the crowd riled up a bit more and it still gave him the chance to see how the three moved together and, to Bruce, it seemed like a perfect combination.

As they moved off the stage, taking the chairs with them as the next performance didn’t need them, they were greeted with well dones and [Y/N] was greeted with ‘you did so good!’. And ‘congratulations on a successful first night’.

When the three girls got back into the changing room, the first thing that Stefanie and Cassandra did was wrap [Y/N] up in a hug and congratulated her, telling her how well she did and how she was going to fit right in. However, an unfamiliar voice to broke through them and caused them to silence as they all turned to face it. There before them was a redheaded woman in a wheelchair, [Y/N]] presumed it was Barbara.

“It’s nice to see that they got someone good, with a passion for dancing in to replace me.” She wheeled towards the three and reached a hand out to [Y/N], “Barbara Gordon, you did well kid.”

[artificialqueens]

Le Cirque des Reines (group fic) - Ch. 1 - Debbie

A/N: I was just writing this for myself to begin with, but then I started putting a lot of effort into it so I thought some other people might enjoy it too! It’s pretty inspired by this fic written by The Wolf which I read a while ago, but with enough differences that they aren’t too similar… Plus I’m just also very interested in circuses right now! Everyone are still drag queens in this, but I use she/her pronouns in and out of drag for all of them (except for Major Scales, who by the way is an amazing drag king/performer who works with Jinkx very often, if you don’t know). Excuse me being a bit vague about certain things (like when this is taking place… I’ll just say it isn’t present day at least) and for any mistakes (English isn’t my first language). I don’t know how many chapters I’ll write, but I’m already working on chapter three so if people are interested there’ll be more! There’s a few pairings in this, but they aren’t the main focus of the story (Major and Jinkx aren’t together in this for starters, just best friends). Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

Jinkx couldn’t help but excitedly grab Major’s hand and squeeze it when they finally saw the tents appear in the distance. He squeezed back before speeding up a bit, pulling her along through the crowd of people heading the same directions.

They had spent hours getting ready in the back room of the small cabaret they worked in (well Jinkx had spent longer obviously and so Major had been stuck pacing around and making sure his tie was straight at least a hundred times or so while she was finishing up).

It had been months since they first heard about Le Cirque de Reines… The rumour going around was that the circus was made up entirely of drag queens and queer performers, so as soon as they heard that the circus was coming to town, they had started preparing.

The pair was, as they so often were at this point of their lives, disguised as man and wife. Jinkx was in the only drag outfit she owned herself, but that she loved very dearly: A ginger wig (slightly lighter than her natural hair colour), a long white lacy dress that had belonged to her grandmother once, her corset, stockings and the jewellery she had stolen from her mother before she ran away from her home in Portland and traveled with Major to Seattle while they were in their teens.

Major was wearing his trusty old suit that he had spent almost all of his savings on several years ago and have treasured ever since, along with an old white shirt, hat, tie, plus some old black shoes he had attempted to shine up as much as possible.

They had heard that one of the old performers at the cabaret (also a drag queen) had left to join the exact same circus, long before Jinkx and Major got the job, but it was quite possibly only a rumour. Most of their returning audience there were queer (all the performers certainly were) and they had been happy working there for a while, even for the rather small amount of money they made from it. They could be themselves backstage and were allowed to stay there for most of the day (which they often did), but they were both big dreamers and dedicated performers so they had decided to take a chance and (if all went to plan) join the circus.

As they bought their tickets, Jinkx felt the ticket lady’s eyes on her and suddenly got worried about how much she was passing. She rarely had any problems fooling people when she had to, but this lady was looking her up and down like she could see her dick clear as day right through her dress. Jinkx forced herself to uphold her confident persona and told the lady “Thank you” in her most feminine voice when they were handed their tickets. She only got a knowing, but not unkind smile in return.

“She was giving me a weird look… do you think she could tell?” Jinkx whispered worriedly as they entered the slightly crowded carnival space surrounded by colourful tents in various heights and sizes.

“Maybe she could tell because she’s a queen herself? If the rumours are true that is…” he whispered back and gave her a comforting pat on the back.

“Perhaps… I couldn’t see her very well… but we’re here now! Where should we go first?” Jinkx asked excitedly, grabbing her best friend’s arm so they wouldn’t get separated.

“How about that one?” he said pointing to a small silvery tent near them.

They cautiously stepped into the small dark room which was only lit by various candles.

“Well… It’s about time! Hello darlings…” greeted the figure sitting in the middle.

“Uhh h-hello… What do you mean?” Jinkx asked, taken aback by the forwardness of the mysterious woman.

“Sorry dear I didn’t mean to startle you! Don’t worry, I’ll explain, I promise. Come sit down! have a biscuit!” she told them and smiled brightly, putting Jinkx and Major more at ease.

They both did sit down and took a biscuit each from a tray on the table (neither of them were ever known to say no to free food).

The pair then took a moment to look around and take everything in. The woman was pale and slim, presumably rather tall, but since she was currently sat down at her low table you couldn’t tell for sure. Her hair was grey despite her young appearance. Jinkx couldn’t help, but notice her rather flat chest under her black dress and started wondering for a second before her thoughts were interrupted by the woman speaking again.

“My name is Max, what’s yours darlings?”

“My name is Jinkx and this is Major” Jinkx told, Major adding a cheesy “Pleased to meet you” and a brief handshake that made Max’ smile widen.

“Such good manners…! It’s very lovely to meet you too sweethearts! You see, I’ve been expecting that some new faces would join our little family soon… and I think I’ve found our pair” she explained, gesturing vaguely at them and nodding particularly in Jinkx’ direction, giving her that knowing look again.

Jinkx felt herself blush a bit under her many layers of makeup. Was she really that obvious?

“Does that mean you’re looking for new performers?” Major asked eagerly, seemingly not having noticed Max’ gesture.

“Well… We’re usually always open to people joining us, but we rarely seek them out ourselves these days. When I was reading my tea leaves the other night however, they told me that some new, but kindred-spirits would arrive soon and my cards said the very same thing… And judging from your energy and attire, I assume it’s you who I’ve been waiting for… You’re hoping to get a job here, correct?” she finished, grinning confidently.

“Y-yes we are” Major confirmed, looking surprised.

“So what do you do then?”

“Oh a lot of stuff really! We both sing, Major plays piano and writes music… Some burlesque, commedia dell'arte and comedy! A-and we’d like to learn more stuff too!” Jinkx rambled, trying her best to sell their abilities as effectively as possible.

“We’ve worked at a cabaret for a couple of years now and have studied commedia dell'arte in our free times” Major explained, sensing Jinkx’ nervousness and taking over before she started rambling too much. They were always fooling around trying to learn new tricks backstage so they had a fairly lengthy repertoire at this point.

“That all sounds very interesting! I’m sadly not the one who gets to make the call, but I’ll take you to Bianca after we’ve closed off and put in a good word for you! I’ve got a very good feeling about this” she promised cheerily.

“Really? You’d do that for us?” Jinkx asked incredulously. Max just nodded.

“That would be incredible of you…! We’ll see you later then I suppose” said Major.

They both thanked her gratefully before heading out of the tent again, baffled over what had just happened.

“Well that was unexpected…” mumbled Jinkx.

“It sure was…! Do you think they’ll actually let us in?” he asked, leaning in to hear her better.

“I don’t know… I sure hope so, but I’m scared of getting my hopes up too early… she said that she wasn’t the one we had to convince” she answered.

Major squeezed her hand comfortingly and grinned at her before speaking.

“This is already going better than expected though! You know what? I think this calls for a celebratory treat!” Major said, already dragging her towards a colourful food stand.

“But we already spend a great deal of our money on the tickets!” Jinkx argued worriedly, but couldn’t help staring wide eyed at the beautiful cakes and sweets as they got closer.

“Don’t worry about it! We’ll share… and we have to eat something today anyway! I promise it’ll be okay” he begged.

“Oh alright…” she said, her face lighting up instantly.

The lady in the food stand smiled widely at them. She was rather tall and was wearing a gorgeous lavender costume on her fuller figure, despite of it being hidden somewhat behind the counter. Her makeup was unlike anything Jinkx had seen before and she was completely mesmerised for a moment until the woman asked them what they wanted, her voice lisping slightly in what Jinkx thought was a quite endearing way.

They ended up buying a bag of caramel popcorn which they both agreed was the most delicious thing either of them had tasted in their lives.

The next tent they entered was bigger and already had some other spectators gathered inside. In the middle of the tent, on a slightly raised platform stage, were three clowns in very contrasting clothes and makeup.

One of them were tall, with big painted lips and a gap between her front teeth. She had big frizzy hair and wore a colourful bodysuit with a bizarre and complicated design.

Another was mainly in pink, with huge blond curls and face paint that looked reminiscent of a porcelain doll. She was wearing a big poofy dress with loads of tool sticking out from underneath and a big poofy collar to match.

The last one was bald, but had a big felt crown resting on her head. Her big purple coat was almost comically too large for her, swallowing up most of her body. She had painted her eyebrows dramatically geometric and added some painted hairs in between them.

They seemed to be wordlessly acting out a dramatic comedic scene, only ever gasping animatedly as a reaction. They used multiple props and had several interventions of tap dance, unicycling and other strange acts in between the fake arguing and visual comedy, all to the rhythm of instrumental tracks playing from an old gramophone.

Jinkx and Major watched the performance for a while, both impressed at how involved and convoluted it was, but eventually dragged themselves out and into another tent.

This one was in the classic red and white colour scheme and of a fairly average height and size. Inside was a beautiful blonde woman on a smaller raised platform, juggling several knives like it was the easiest thing in the world. The small crowd of audience in the room kept their distance from the spinning weapons, but all had their eyes glued to the performer throwing them. She was clad in a sparkling silver costume, crystals seemingly dripping off of her.

The number finished and the juggler let the knives hit the wooden scene floor one by one, just barely missing her feet before bowing elegantly.

Major was about to turn around and leave, but Jinkx grabbed his arm before he could, still watching the woman closely as she picked up some strange sticks from a table and then lit the end of them up with a candle.

She smirked at the audience before putting the flaming end of the stick into her mouth and holding it with her teeth for a good few seconds, then took it out to show the still burning flame.

Jinkx was mesmerised, both watching in awe and slightly in fear of the woman’s safety. She didn’t realise her hands were still tightly holding Major’s arm before she finally broke out of her trance and glanced at her counterpart who was grinning at her.

Jinkx kept talking about how incredible the previous performance had been and how much she loved this circus already until they entered the next tent. Inside this one was a row of burlesque dancers in gorgeous costumes that made the old one Jinkx borrowed at their cabaret look boring in comparison. Half of the group wore white and the other half black, their corsets and feathers contrasting beautifully as they danced.

“This is nothing like the show we usually get to see” mumbled Major, Jinkx nodding in agreement.

Tent upon tent they went it completely dazzled the pair. There was a brilliant blonde contortionist, a stunning aerialist, an eery looking snake charmer and many more. They truly wanted to visit every tent, but had trouble tearing their eyes off the performers and leave once they had entered. Jinkx noticed that many of the performers received cash tips from the audience and wished she could give some herself, but wasn’t willing to gamble anymore with their remaining bit of money.

Suddenly a bell rang somewhere nearby and a voice informed them that the circus would begin closing up in half an hour. Jinkx pouted, but suggested to Major that they visited the biggest of the tents lastly.

Above the entrance was a sign reading “Menagerie” in golden letters against the thick red and black fabric.

In the middle of the hay covered floor stood a woman in an elegant ringleader suitjacket over a short black dress. She watched the audience playfully from under her big lashes while calling for her assistant in a surprisingly deep voice.

The doors of a wagon at the edge of the stage suddenly opened and out came a younger girl with messy black hair riding on the back of a lioness. After taking a quick stroll around the edge of where the audience was standing, the girl brought the lion over next to the first woman and hopped off. The lion sat down obediently in between them and they begun their tricks.

The ringleader and lion trainer had a charming playful energy, the former ordering the other around, but the girl kept snapping back sassily as she helped the animal up on platforms and showed it where to run around.

The lion was then brought back into it’s wagon and the crowds attention was directed towards a bigger wagon at the opposite side of the tent. The doors opened and out came an elephant and a beautiful blonde woman with a baby elephant trailing behind her. The younger of the girls finished locking up the lion’s wagon and came over to take care of the baby, while the adult elephant lifted the blonde up onto it’s back. She was wearing a light blue ballet inspired costume and posed easily on the elephant’s back like it was nothing.

The tricks continued and so did the slightly teasing banter between the women, the elephant trainer joining a bit in as well in an accent Jinkx didn’t recognise.

The audience laughed along at their jokes in between the “oooo’s” and “aaaa’s”. Time flew by them quickly and Jinkx was almost shocked when the ringleader announced that ththeir last performance of the the night was over and told people to start heading towards the circus exist. The three women helped gather the two animals back into their wagon after waving goodbye to the crowd.

Jinkx and Major headed out of the tent as well, searching for Max in the crowded space outside.

Just when they were getting a bit worried they heard an “Oh there you are!” called out by a familiar voice behind them. The two turned around, relieved to see Max smiling at them and that she hasn’t forgotten about her promise earlier in the evening.

“Come on, I’ll take you to Bianca!” she said and pulled them both by the hand into one of the larger tents.

Inside sat several of the performers, some already beginning to de-corset and take their makeup off. They all watched Jinkx and Major curiously, but didn’t question Max on why she had brought two strangers with her backstage.

“Have any of you seen Bianca?” she asked them. Most of them shook their heads, but a blonde woman in a tight red bodysuit, that Jinkx recognised as the contortionist she had seen early, raised her hand.

“Da! I just saw her and Adore talking near Ivy’s tent” she told her, a russian accent touching her words.

“Thank you Katya!” Max said, Katya smiling wide back at her before the three left the tent again.

Max snickered at Jinkx and Major’s slightly bewildered expressions.

“We’re an odd bunch” she stated simply before pulling them around a corner over to a red and white tent that the pair had gone in earlier.

In front of it stood the ringleader and lion trainer, who Jinkx and Major presumed were Bianca and Adore. Neither of them could say that they were surprised that the stern ringmistress also was the circus’ leader.

Bianca was seemingly in the midst of untying Adore’s corset and raised one eyebrow as the she noticed the three of them. She finished unlacing the garment and turned to face them fully.

“Thanks Bee” said Adore while eyeing the newcomers curiously, but walked off nonetheless.

“And who are these two?” she asked Max. Jinkx and Major glanced nervously at each other. The woman didn’t sound so inviting to say the least… Max didn’t seem faced by her unimpressed tone however.

“Remember I told you that I saw some new people joining us soon? I think I finally found them!” she explained excitedly.

“I knew it was them the instant they walked in! And they’ve got experience too!” she continued, Jinkx and Major confirming her words by nodding eargerly.

“Alright alright! I’ll consider it.” she told Max who thanked her and walked off again, Jinkx watching her leave nervously.

“So what are your names?” Bianca asked, finally turning her full attention to Major and Jinkx.

“My name is Jinkx Monsoon”

“And I’m Major Scales”

Bianca looked Jinkx up and down quickly and forwardly asked “You’re a drag queen, right?”

Jinkx nodded again, a bit flustered that she’d been seen through once again tonight.

“Y-yeah… I also go by Jerick if you want, but I usually prefer Jinkx” she explained, still not dropping her slightly higher, feminised voice.

“And my real name is Richard, if you prefer that” Major jumped in, likely trying to divert a bit of Bianca’s attention on Jinkx as he could tell it was making her more nervous. Jinkx appreciated his thoughtfulness, but was still determined not to get freaked out by the stern looking woman.

“No that’s alright, we usually all go by our drag names around here” Bianca said nonchalantly, confirming the two’s suspicion without having to ask.

“I used to do full drag too and I’m willing to do so again, but we seem to convince more people this way” Major added.

“What do you two do then?” Bianca asked.

“We do a lot of things. We’ve worked at a cabaret for a couple of years now, where we do music performances, some burlesque, comedy and a bit of commedia dell'arte when we get the chance” Jinkx explained.

“Could you show me an example?”

“…Do you have a piano by any chance?” Major asked.

Bianca led them to yet another tent which had a beautiful piano located in the middle of it. Neither of them had seen the performance that had happened here, but they were certainly curious about it.

Major sat down and started playing one of their pieces, making sure to pick one that showed off Jinkx’ opera-esque notes and their performance energy.

They were both so focused on the song and on doing their best, that neither of them noticed that Bianca was smiling until they finished, both of them breathing heavily.

They both turned and looked expectantly at Bianca, who nodded and raised both her hands in mock defeat.

“Alright, I like you. I could see you fitting in our circus family just fine, but… Are you really prepared to do this? Understand, we’re leaving this city tomorrow and then you’d be permanently on the road for a long while. I’m pretty sure the pay is higher than at a cabaret that allows drag queens to perform, but it isn’t exactly luxury living…” she told them, her face falling back into her serious expression.

“Oh trust me, leaving isn’t the problem. We’re currently staying in a dirt cheap hotel room and we usually stay in a small messy dressing room all day…” Jinkx promised her, trailing off. Major jumped in instead.

“We’re prepared. We aren’t scared of difficult living conditions and we’ve always wanted to see the rest of the country anyway! We’re already pretty much done packing in fact.”

“Alright alright… Well we do have an extra wagon at the moment… Yes okay, you’re hired! Be here tomorrow morning and I’ll get you properly officiated” she told them, a wide smile back on her face.

Jinkx made an excited noise and they both thanked Bianca endlessly.

“Yeah yeah that’s enough” she said, but still smiled and accepted a brief hug from the both of them.

“Now get home and get some sleep in your shitty hotel room for the last time, we get up early around here” she advised them.

They ran into Max on their way out, who was now out of makeup and had shorter blonde hair without her wig, and she got a hug and “thank you” from each of them too.

Once they were outside the circus, Jinkx squealed excitedly again and pulled Major into a tight hug.

“It’s finally happening…!” she said, letting an accelerated breath escape her lips.

“No turning back now… But we can do this!” he answered, sounding determined.

Jinkx turned to look at the circus one last time for the night, before they started walking the long way back to their tiny hotel room. She couldn’t wait for tomorrow…