#I thin I'm okay
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various art trades from the past month! had FUN as usual
#my art#furry#anthro#monster#dragon#oc#not my own but nevertheless#these characters are all lots of fun....thank you everyone for giving me cool guys to draw#also BIG things coming (said for the sixth time over the course of the year)#anyway i went apple picking for the last time this year recently which pretty much brings scrumping season to an end#here's a review: blackberries EARLY. annoyingly early but they were okay. greengages amazing. brings a tear to my eye#cherries SUCKED. cherries do better next year. grapes i'm still harvesting actually but doing well. sweet#and apples kind of popped off!!! year of the ugly apple this year - the beautiful red ones were worse than the scabruous pimply brown ones#which were crisp and had thin skin and a beautiful sweet-mellow-nutty taste...wonderful
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"I seldom cahoot"
babe wake up biblically accurate Hades just dropped
#he is so unserious I love him#I love one (1) uncle#h name gods are the only chill ones so far I guess#(hades and hephaestus if that was not clear)#and like we already know we're fuckin with hestia so#okay wait hera's a bitch actually I take that back#and hermes is on thin ice with me#anyways the point is that Hades and Hephaestus are the only valid gods so far#I'm softening on poseidon as we speak#percy jackson#percy jackson series#pjo#pjo spoilers#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson spoilers#hades#jay duplass
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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more of xu da's internet activity, placed thoughtfully (to me) in the reincarnated band au, featuring the most beautiful woman alive, one bug person crouched on the rooftop of the recording studio while ouyang is being Fussy downstairs, and the rarest creature ever to be caught on film: grumpy bitch ass smiling. permission to imagine esen, chin to chest, flopped on the couch, staring at ouyang's photo, ablaze with jealousy at all of his interactions with xu da, while wbx rubs at his temples in preparation for yet another oblivious, nonsensical sibling conversation.
#the radiant emperor#she who became the sun#he who drowned the world#ma xiuying#zhu yuanzhang#general ouyang#xu da#my art#yes another installment of me making you look at my handwriting#also last time i drew ma in this context she was way too thin and i did my self reflection and Fixed my mistake#i love this au okay i'm not giving up on it#xu da is their mixing guy and jovially goes along with both whatever 'original analog sound' bullshit ouyang wants to use#and with zhu asking for re-recordings only to change the whole thing without telling anyone bc she wasn't 'vibing'#band au
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maybe i'm a bitch but if i hear you go out of your way to judge someone's weight, i immediately lose trust in you & will probably forever find you a little unbearable . yes also the little floating bar over my head will start reading [hostile]. this is natural and u caused it.
#IF you do the therapy to stop being an asshole and make a POINT of being like#''i used to be a jerk about this but now i'm not''#..... we can reevaluate ....#btw i hope this doesn't need explanation and everyone can be normal on this post#and not be like#what if i am a DOCTOR and i was aSKED#like we all know what i'm referring to here#you're like in target and lizzo is playing in the background and they're like#DID YOU NOTICE THAT LIZZO IS FAT?#or ur on instagram and like some dude's comment is like#NICE ART BUT WHY ARENT YOU THIN#like .... okay we get it. we get it . go to sleep . go to therapy. bye.#ALSO BTW i am in recovery for an ED and im saying this AS someone with Brain Problems#pls do not clown on this and be like ''actually i'm allowed to be rude and judgemental''#no u aren't. none of us are. having an ED is not a pass for being a fucking dick#it can make you ACT like a dick. that isn't something you should be proud of or seek to continue#hence.... therapy!!!!!!!!#i know it's kind of controversial to say it but frankly i don't believe in infantilizing mental illness#by being like ''oh they can't help themselves''#bc that kind of thinking is .... unbelievably toxic lmafo#you might not be able to control your split-second thoughts/judgements#i have ocd i understand#but like. . . .. you know#we both know#this post is not about ''u blurted something u regret''#this post is about. THAT GUY
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there is something so crazy about the cognitive dissonance between 50% of my online art presence coming from self portraits of my own body in a resting position, where it's received specifically as fat art, people refer to it as body positive / plus sized (or sometimes bbw content. it's whatever), the notes are like yeeesss this made me feel so good abt my body, stretch marks rolls etc fat women are beautiful 🙌🙌 and then I take a picture Standing Upright, and then some of Same people who have literally Seen My Body Before go ummm... what tha hell. you are LITERALLY thin ?! you are literally doing this.
#(sits down and lays down) fat body#(stands up straight) thin body#...OKAY?#the pounds didn't change between these two positions#and neither have my lifelong experiences of living in This Body#girl these are the SAME WOMEN. I stay fat while sitting standing walking laying down etc. I know it's hard to understand.#like oh thank god you identified it for me. apparently I must've been drawing thin women this whole time too#like you have gotta try harder to not be so annoying.#you've GOT to.#sergle answers#i'm not 'thin' you're just not used to seeing my torso. but can you come w me to see my doc. maybe he'll stop encouraging me to lose weight
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I wish more people understood that bodyshaming is wrong even when it's against someone you don't like.
EVEN WHEN IT'S SOMEONE OBJECTIVELY SHITTY.
Every single one of my friends is left-leaning and tries to educate themselves and just generally not be bigoted pieces of shit. But every single one of them will still resort to "fat" and "ugly" as go-to insults as soon as it's someone we all agree sucks. As if they were all waiting and holding back because The Fat Friend is here but now that we all agree [insert person of discussion here] is a bad person then it must be fine right? We're not hurting GOOD people's feelings.
Those celebrities you talk shit about will never see it. Trump won't know or care that you called him a fat orange fuck on twitter. Lizzo won't care that you only started insulting her weight once it was revealed that she abused her backup dancers. But we will. And then you'll be another person that we have to accept doesn't actually love us because of who we are but in spite of it. We'll know that you still associate attractiveness and thinness with goodness so you won't love us as much as you could as long as we don't fit those ideals. That as soon as we fuck up and upset you in some way, it's gonna be thrown in our faces because it's always lingering just under the surface when you look at us. That you're only ignoring respecting who we are as long as we 'behave'.
And you won't even know the damage you've done with your off-handed comment. Every single fat person I know has vivid memories of someone we care about saying fatphobic shit about someone else and realizing that said person's entire worldview is colored by their hatred of fat people. For y'all it's just Tuesday.
#my words#fatphobia#body image#sorry if the last line seems weird to some people#I forget that raul julia's M Bison doesn't live rent free in everyone's head like he does mine#but tbh the fatphobia thing feels a lot like when people misgender others on purpose#but only when they fuck up#like when Ezra Miller went fucking unhinged and everyone was suddenly he/himming them#like oh I see you only deserve your preferred pronouns if you're a good person#as soon as someone doesn't like you it's okay to misgender you I guess?#only good babies get all of the human rights#as usual you have to be thin attractive and white to be treated like a full person#and the worst part is that this whole post is gonna fall on deaf ears#because every fat person already knows#and people who have never been fat I'm afraid just will not relate
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so i started playing coral island a few months ago and this encapsulates my entire personality right now
#yes my farmer is blue and pablo is on THIN ICE hence the lower effort lol#i love rafael so much. i must undo him with love :)))#i've been holding off posting about it until i got this drawing done and now i'M FREEEEEEEE brace yourselves#rafael sanchez#coral island#evt draws#also to the person that guessed it was rafael i'm marrying you if that's okay
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You know how some clay artists make a little kiln god to protect their pottery? I need to crochet a little yarn god to make sure my projects always have good omens near them because I think I need that 😭😨
#crochet#art#if anybody has ideas for a yarn god PLEASE i think that would be cute#context: using a thin acrylic yarn (oh no) for a new project (fuck) that uses a stitch i'm okay with but not an expert on (SHIT)#and the only way to access the pattern is by video (thankfully the video maker is alright 🙏)#you know how people say that chunky yarn is hard to work with? i'm the opposite#i'm finding this acrylic yarn to be really fussy and i'm not sure i like it as a yarn at ALL#and some people make CLOTHES out of this yarn? i think i fear those people the most in this world#fiber art#holy shit this yarn is also a navy blue and this pattern is classed as intermediate#you know how they say to 'trust the process'? well i'm not trusting the process rn!!!! let me off!!!!!!! 😭😭😭
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i am anti luke castellan. i'm also anti chiron. and anti adult new rome population. and anti most other named adults in the series. frederick chase stays on thin ice. paul and sally should be ruling this universe. maybe naomi.
#hylla is same level as frederick i feel like she could have intervened more but also she didn't actively cause problems either so#actually other than attacking percy alecto also wasn't terrible#i mean she was way too okay with letting nico run around homeless bc she didn't intervene but imma put her on thin ice#emily zhang and maria di angelo can hang out with paul sally and Naomi#but marie tristan and beryl are OUT#actually i'm okay with way more adults in this universe than i originally thought#but two of them are dead so maybe not?
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zeddison headcanons because i want them both and i need them back neow
they're both queer (not really a niche headcanon but i'm putting it)
it took zed many months to get over the dog imitation habit
(ignoring the queer headcanon for a sec) addison is the biggest ally to ever ally. like one of those obnoxious allies but it works for her
^full on rainbow cake and celebration when literally anyone comes out, but she'll also be lowkey if requested
they are "me? obsessed with you? yes, yes i am" personified (about each other, ofc)
addison was zed's anchor when it came time to learn how to control his zombie state (similar to kipo and her anchor from kataow)
addison knows enough of the zombie language to have conversations but struggles with pronunciation (i'm slightly projecting with this one i fear)
they're literally always holding hands or linking their arms/pinkies (literally canon)
addison lets zoey dress her up and do her hair, especially after she got her true alien hair
^zed has a whole album of pictures of addison after zoey's makeovers (simply just because he loves them both so much, literally only like 3 were taken for funny reasons)
zed has dyscalculia but thought that it was just a zombie brain issue for the longest time (yes, he's canonically top of his class. yes, i'm giving him dyscalculia. both can be true)
^once he figured out what he had, he had to be practically begged by addison and his friends to ask for accommodations
addison is insanely touch-starved but presents herself like she's not (i definitely feel like dale and missy weren't the most physically affectionate parents, and i assume that angie (her most touchy relative) died when addison was young)
addison is closer to eliza and bonzo than zed is to bree (this is pretty much supported by a handful of scenes in the movies but whatever)
^don't get it confused, zed and bree are still very friendly to each other, as she is addison's best friend and bonzo's girlfriend
addison's baked dessert of choice is muffins, especially fruit muffins
^zed hates the sensation of cooked fruit (we're projecting again) but he eats them anyway to make addison happy
^once addison finds out he doesn't like cooked fruit, she then feels really bad for giving him so many muffins to taste-test and recruits zoey and bonzo instead
zed is greek (at least on his dad's side, due to the "-polis")
zed ends up pursuing a career that does not require more years of school due to his gifted-kid burnout (we all know he has it) being so bad
^addison most likely pursued something in the hospitality industry, became a politician like her mom (but like an actually good one), or became a defense lawyer
^i also feel like addison's the breadwinner of their relationship (not that that matters in the slightest just a thought)
#this was originally gonna be just a zed list but i couldn't think of many things#so now it's zed addison and then zeddison as a whole#as a whole probably isn't the right phrase#“they're both queer” no because to me this is basically canon because of the fact that disney put them specifically in the pride chibi thin#“well they're there to represent the zombies franchise” i'm like 80% sure that side characters from other media made the list so...#they purposely put zeddison on there holding hands and being cute#okay “and then zeddison” makes it seem like there's order to this....there isn't#i'll probably make a pt 2 cause i think about them so incredibly often#zed also gives stay-at-home dad but it was getting pretty lengthy so that's going here instead#like even though he likes football i can't see him going pro idk why#ignore how many “^” i put i felt like i had to elaborate and give more details so i did#add this to the list of posts where i thirst for zeddison on main#(on main like i have a side blog heheh)#disney zombies#zombies#zombies 2#zombies 3#zombies 4#zed necrodopolis#addison wells#zeddison#zoey necrodopolis#zombies bonzo#zombies bree#eliza zambi#missy wells#dale wells#bree zombies#bonzo zambi#bonzo zombies
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those arms exist to cuddle kids and crush mariana
#i like charlie in any interpretation but his real shapes are too unused in art community#also i'm talking about characters okay???#i mean#in slimeriana charlie is mostly a twink and mariana is buffed but actually its exactly the opposite#thats not bad just funny#i have feelings for 'tall-thin/short-thicc' dynamic you know?#q! slimecicle#q! el mariana
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listing stuff for resale online and i'm just... so tired of taking pictures. cropping pictures. taking measurements. weighing out postage. finding boxes. writing descriptions. i'm so tired.
#i've been putting stuff up on mercari for like idk a year and a half ish now#started with mainly just stuff from the two book box subscriptions that i have if they aren't something i really want to read/keep#and then i started thinning out my bookshelves a little and listing those (standard edition) books#and now lately i've been putting up clothes that i've been decluttering from my closet#and those i've started cross-posting on poshmark too#and like i don't really have anything fancy other than some of the special editions from my book boxes#so i'm getting like two or three dollars for most of my sales#and it does add up. not to a lot. but. you know. better than nothing.#it's just... so tedious... for the two dollars...#buttttt also i've had several unexpected Big Expenses pop up#(tree damage from the tornado. hit and run car repairs. new insurance year so i haven't hit my out of pocket max for med expenses. etc.)#and it would be very nice to have a bit of extra cash coming in#like i'm okay overall#this isn't a dire situation by any means#i would just like to soften the blow a little ya know?#(and also complain on the internet while i'm doing that)
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sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye
#cats#love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed#Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor#I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase#looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me#a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful#I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold#and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only#concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other#less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need#background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something#and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav#orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I#love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac#is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless#you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t#he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol#One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic#to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat#had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything#about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able#to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat#basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp#and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh
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When i transitioned i had to give up my versatile singing voice and all my skirts and heels. I miss them all equally even though i dont regret a single thing about transitioning. I haven't worn a dress in five years but that doesn't mean i don't want to. My four-inch-heeled blue sequined boots still fit me and sometimes i wear them around the house even if i'm too shy to be gnc in public.
These feelings stopped me from transitioning for a long time and they didn't change when i finally did. I hope that resonates with you
bless you anon! i'm really glad that it's something you don't regret, and i'm glad you're living closer to the you that you want to be - but i also hope you can conquer any fears you have and present to the world the way you want to be seen. i think life's too short to make compromises!
me, i don't think i could go all the way - i think there's a lot about myself i just - i don't want to change. (i'll be honest, the biggest thing i'm scared about with T is what goes on between your legs. i'm terrified of that. i know it's different for everyone, but that makes it even scarier. i'm so familiar with what's down there. i don't want to wake up one morning and it's different. the horrors of one puberty was enough for me. i'm still recovering from my first puberty. i don't want to go through it again. not again. oh dear god.)
i think that's another part of why i thought "oh, i must not be a boy. because i don't want to transition. i have top dysphoria, and Dear God I'd love Top Surgery, but i like what i have between my legs. i like my voice. i like being soft. i like my girlish hobbies. if i like being feminine so much, how does it make sense to claim i'm a boy?" and i think that's a silly line of thinking i had. and i only realised how silly that sounded when other people said it to me. someone said they were worried about identifying as non-binary because they're very pink and very femme. i said - the whole point of non-binary is that it's something you define. pink and femme have nothing to do with it. it's a label you don't have to qualify for! you don't have to qualify to be trans. i know a lot of people trick you into thinking that but - it's just not true. whatever shape you are, whatever preferences you have, whatever you're comfortable wearing, whatever you're comfortable proclaiming - it's on your terms. nobody can tell you what you're meant to feel or how you want to be seen. that's you. you have to define yourself, i guess. nobody else should be able to do that on your behalf!
so i'm a boy, i guess. right now. i'm allowed to be. i declare it so! i'm allowed to be a boy. even in my pink sneakers and my little love-heart chains and all my girlish ways.
#sci speaks#i'm fortunate that i love most things about me. i love my voice and my body and everything. okay i don't like my chest. that's the one thin#i realise actually that's quite lucky. i shouldn't feel guilty about that.#it's a good thing to love most things about you. i shouldn't question it and say “mmmh. but that means you're faking huh??”#i'd never say that to anyone else. so it's stupid to say it to me.#what a silly thing to do. hate yourself for loving yourself. that's?? what kind of mental gymnastics are those.#so i know i'm lucky. i'm fortunate. i know what dysphoria feels like. i don't want to feel More of it. the amount i have is enough.#i know where my dysphoria begins and ends. it's pretty consistent. i'm in a lucky spot. all of this is so lucky.
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blasting the music ray: 🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, and publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers 🎶✨
Aw heck yes! I'm always a sucker for music games:
"Androgynous" by the Replacements
"I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl" by Nina Simone
"Amelia" by Joni Mitchell
"Der Weg" by Herbert Grönemeyer
"Sur mon épaule" by Les Cowboys fringants
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#ask games#are you talkin to me#musicblogging#music#the only problem is that then i listen to all of these#and then i get EMOTIONAL BECAUSE THEY'RE SO GOOD#goddddd music is amazing#i also tried to pick songs where i adore not only the music but also the lyrics#i can't sing along to the last two without choking up a bit tbh#'der weg' gets me bawling EVERY time#(thank you to whoever made the subtitles... they still can't communicate the power of the original but they're very good)#(HG is notoriously untranslatable)#and 'sur mon épaule' is so romantic i want to DIE#the immediacy of the gentle sweet love like a tiny campfire in the ocean of hopeless dark that waits just below the thin skin of life#a speck of brave warmth against the known and unknown horrors of the cold surrounding night#and 'androgynous' is just... so meaningful to me. so incredible. so ahead of its time. i swear i could write a thesis on that lyric#aND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON 'AMELIA' OKAY I'M SHUTTING UP NOW
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