#I sound gross ew

[intomyworldunknown]

I get giddy and then I remember

[redrobin-detective]

I think an underappreciated aspect of s1 of Elementary is Joan being like “ugh grisly murders? dangerous crimes? other bizarre problems and antics my client is getting up to? Can’t wait to be done with all this” and turning around and getting so invested in solving the case. Like no wonder Sherlock was offering her an apprenticeship by the end of the season, despite what she said Joan was not only highly skilled but also very interested in Sherlock’s work.

[stripedstarsblueflags]

when i was 13 i set fire to a pyrex measuring cup’s worth of rubbing alcohol and water and then poured in half a bottle of soda and the resulting explosion was less chaotic than whatever the fuck i just witnessed

[nanamis-bigtie]

i think the funniest thing coming from having a hands-on experience with sex is learning that some of the "fanfiction lied to you, here's how it really is irl" takes have even less in common with reality than some random smut you run across on tumblr

in the end, sex is a very personal experience, there's no such thing as universal recipe for what will feel good and what will turn you on. and the other way round too. the key is to have open mind and to experiment - not only with a partner - and to remember sex is supposed to be fun

[allastoredeer]

So, hear me out...

Alastor's Shadow X Alastor

Depends on how independent you see it, but... I bet even his own Shadow tops him. (´つヮ⊂)

Anon, have you been on Twitter recently

Cuz I know there's an art trend happening with Alastor's Shadow topping him.

And YES I am so into it. Literally been saving every single Al!Shadow/Alastor smut art I've come across. God bless the artist who started the trend 🙏

[swagging-back-to]

the way literally every fucking person has been REPULSIVE about euthanasia lately.

[charles-and-no-one-else]

Gang. can we not piss off Icarixis by existing in the Worldport. They’re stressed enough with whatever the fuck ash’s world is doing, you Rifts aren’t making it better :/

[danger-tits-lute]

{ it has come to my attention that I have been using the word “Drabble” incorrectly. And that a Drabble is exactly 100 words. And there are people who this bothers A LOT.

I deeply apologize for applying the word “Drabble” to mean written prose of a stand alone scene that is not enough for a one shot fanfic.

I have a ukulele around here somewhere for my formal apology video }

[catchyhuh]

Feeding the beast once more because you're on a roll with pairings (and these two have been on my mind since I've gotten into the fandom, shhhh) :)))

Too old for this shit (spiritually). Obsessed with Lupin (literally). Hats. They're definitely a rarepair, but not the rarest (props to any zenigoe shippers, lol). So, thoughts on Jigen x Zenigata? I feel like they've got a lot of potential despite not interacting all that much, platonic or otherwise.

this one has always intrigued me because the very few times where they do interact directly its just. so funny. they have such a funny dynamic that i want explored so much more. also funnily enough the next ask after this one is zenigata and goemon so!! isn’t that a cute little perfect triangle of asks!!

i used to joke with my friends (IN A PRE-LUPIN ZERO WORLD) that jigen could very well have been older than zenigata and lupin was just fucking with zeni by insisting he was the old man. not really related to anything but it’s always so funny to me. but like you said spiritually at least, jigen is significantly over the hill, and it’s hilarious that in this case the ACTUAL older guy is the one with twice the energy

i think, honestly, like with all of the gang proper, zenigata would be shocked by how much he has in common with him. it’d take forever and a day to get there but when they GOT there he’d be like “wait you also think ketchup on eggs sounds gross when you say it out loud and yet not that bad of a flavor combination in theory but you’re too lazy to actually try it?” and there’s this weighted pause before jigen kinda shrugs like “Yeah.” and zenigata goes “Damn…” 

the size difference is so funny because it means zenigata COULD just sling jigen over his shoulder but would never out of fear of retribution. like yeah you can pick up this little pomeranian but look at those eyes do you trust that thing to not lunge for you when it’s at face value?? if he ever has to do it he just repeats “sorry sorry sorry” under his breath the whole time until theyre out of range but really i think jigen is pretty ok with not dying. and also with being scooped like that lmaooo you see the way that guys ex-boyfriends are built?!!?!1!?

they would be absolutely terrifyingly effective working together because they would actually listen to each other, and neither would really be fighting to “lead” the attack. but on the other hand the contrast between the one who looks like he’s putting every single muscle in his body focused on this one minute task vs the guy who looks completely effortless doing some crazy shit like untying alexander’s knot or what the fuck ever is kind of funny. AND LEAVES YOU UNDERESTIMATING THEM LEAVING YOU OPEN FOR A TAG TEAM ATTACK WHUPOW!!

guy who takes up whole couch watching tv + guy who unironically does the tv dad stand = finally the world is in fucking balance

[drawfee-quot3s]

birds give birdth. to other birds

they DONT they lay eggs

yea they give birdth to the eggs. and then the eggs give beggth. to the baby birds

- jacob + nathan

drawfee: random sound effect drawing challenge

[quilleth]

I'm going to need a dlc to go fist fight mystra, mizora, and zariel. IDK how we get to deal with Shar or Vlaakith so might need to throw them in there too.

I'm on a quest to fight some gods, devils, etc for fucking with my friends. Like no, fuck off. You already had a chance to not be a dick, now meet me in the fucking pit bitches.

[malusrecord]

((Not me looking for something in my archive only to stumble upon one of the rare times where I recorded my gross ass voice for a meme answer and it's a 10 minute rant about how underappreciated my boy is and how they ruined him, his characterization and his growth in the sequel and on and on and on and----

(....and I'd do it again.))

[kissingmendotcom]

guys I'm soooo screweddddd, so I don't like saying this but I don't know how else to explain it but I get off like a lot, probably not what most people think of as a lot but like at least once a day and I find it gross to an extent when I do it but that's just the way things are, but lately I've found myself not being able to get off unless I'm thinking about him and wearing the collar he picked out for me, and like the stuff I usually read or watch to get myself off just doesn't work, like it has to be his voice and his face and his body in my head or it just doesn't work, I'm pretty sure that when I get my hands on him properly for the first time I won't even be able to get off at all unless he's physically there with me

[guided-by-stars]

The thing is, I feel as if Mirabelle and Siffrin's relationship very much could fit under a pale framework to some extent, as Mira being the pacifier and Siffrin being the physical protector, (and both of them feeling some level of Pity for the other) but the moment that Mirabelle learns that moirallegiance is considered a type of romantic relationship (1.) she would immediately drop the idea. (2)

(1. [loudly] ALL FOUR QUADRENTS ARE ROMANTIC BY DEFAULT!! None of this (Moirails are like super best friends) here, please let's be serious.)

(2. Any relationship can be made aromantic or asexual if the people involved Say So (you can date someone without sex or date someone without romance or both, for instance) but I feel as if Mira's repulsion is so strong that she wouldn't want to do that kind of thing. I also see her as someone who wouldn't want to exchange earrings, even purely platonically, for the same reason)

[faksyan]

Living in my house be like *finds mold everyone knew about but ignored* *finds mold everyone knew about but ignored* *finds

[thepileofclothesonyourdesk]

Dear everyone who works in audio ads! I do NOT want to be unwittingly assaulted with the sound of someone crunching into something!!

Visceral disgust!