#I should work instead of drawing random crap

[somewhere-on-kamino]

Cross'tooka a few weeks ago, you spotted this slightly malnourished and scarred stray tooka on your way home. He didn't seem to trust anyone and kept his distance but you felt bad for him and fed him regularily since you've discovered him. Over time you've earned his trust and even brought him into your home. While he secretly enjoys your company, he usually pretends not to care when you leave the house for work and just sits grumpily in a corner. When you finally come home, he's pissed that you left him that long. In his anger, he ate grass and threw up on the couch. Curiously, there's often a blade of grass sticking out of his mouth.

here's Rex'tooka, Fives‘tooka and Hunta‘tooka with Omega‘tooka

[flaetsbnortoriginals]

I've just had a dream that was so steeped in Magic: The Gathering lore that I need to post it to tumblr on the off-chance that people who know enough to understand it will be able to read it, because if I tell it to the people I usually tell my dreams to they won't understand a dang thing. Sorry @one-time-i-dreamt

So. The dream was in Ravnica, and was about this planeswalker lady. She was white, with long straight blonde hair, and a fancy blue dress. I have the feeling that I was dreaming I was her before my dream remembered I'm a boring cis man without any amazing powers so as far as I can recall I'm just following her, like the main character of a story. I'm not sure I should call her my OC since she was created without any prompting of my conscious mind but none of the characters in the dream have names so I'll call her that.

OC was walking down a boulevard in Ravnica with this dude. They were pretending to be a couple, but the dude was actually a Dimir spy she had bested and was kind of her prisoner. Dimir guy wasn't very happy about it but wasn't too angry either, he saw his "custodianship" as a work thing and kind of respected OC, so they were chill.

OC saw a woman who she realized wasn't from this plane, although she was pretending to be a local. She challenged Dimir guy to point out what made them realize this. Now I expected this to go like a Sherlock sequence, with each one pointing out a detail in the woman's outfit or some very precise behaviour. Instead, OC starts by pointing out that this woman is wearing

A FRIGGING BRIGHT BLUE SOCCER JERSEY

and not only are soccer jerseys not usual clothes in Ravnica, (at least not until Hooligans at Rakdos Stadium is released), but it also has a giant number on it (77 if you're curious), except that Ravnica uses a different writing system, so any planeswalker would immediately clock her as an outsider. (I think that it's only sort of implied that each plane uses a different writing system, but in the dream that was settled truth.)

OC is so apalled at how poorly this woman - who needs a name, so I'll call her BadKellan for reasons that will soon become apparent - is at hiding herself, she decides to have a word with her. BadKellan realizes she's being followed and hoofs it - but OC and Dimir guy immediately use their Dimir crap to become invisible. BadKellan thinks he's shaken them off, but she's quite rattled, so she goes to her safehouse, which happens to be just around the corner. OC and Dimir sneak in behind her, then make themselves visible.

Now I should tell you that Dimir Guy does nothing else in this story. I was going to say that he's just Ken, he's just there, but it's actually worse - his presence makes the story make no sense, since OC is about to reveal some secrets to some random lady. But the dream didn't forget him: I vividly recall that he was still around all throughout this part of the dream, even though he does nothing else.

So. OC reveals herself and tells BadKellan that what she's doing is very dangerous. She tells her about the Dimir (the guild, not the random guy) and says that if they see her poorly sneaking around and think she's going to be trouble, or even can't figure out what her deal is, they're just going to kill her. Which means it's incredibly dangerous for her to go around like that.

BadKellan reveals a few things about herself. She's from Earth - yes, our real world. She's not a planeswalker. She was brought to Ravnica against her will and told to blend in and pretend to be a local. She doesn't feel comfortable revealing who told her to do that.

OC decides to give BadKellan a few pointers on how to lay low on Ravnica. She explains that she would dress mostly in gray, since colours are strongly associated with the guilds and she should stay away from them to stop making waves. She asks her to change her outift and she'll say if it draws attention.

BadKellan changes clothes. She's now dressed entirely in gray, which is good, except that her shirt

HAS A LARGE, GLITTERING PRINT ACROSS THE FRONT READING

girl

IT'S THE EXACT SAME THING AS BEFORE. IT'S A LARGE PRINT USING OFF-PLANE SCRIPT. It's not as large as the jersey number, sure, but I'd like to remind you that it's glittering!

OC is apparently as taken aback by this as I am, because she turns her into a squirrel.

In fact, she specifically turns her into the squirrel from Bloomburrow key art.

OC's logic is that BadKellan is so bad at blending in that this is the only way she can be safe. OC intends to release "squirrel girl" in a park while she tries to look into exactly whose plans she just ruined and how bad of an idea it was.

There was more to this dream, but my memories are fuzzy and it's (even more) uninteresting. I think it involves the Boros having a special currency that they gain when they help people but the Dimir also use it in a kind of ironic way? I don't remember.

[losing-it-lately]

Hi!!! Can I request a song fic, “Maria, Count me in”, with Remus Lupin x reader!!

Dear Maria, Count Me In

wc: 0.7k

best friend!remus lupin x reader

fluff, i could only find the song dear maria, count me in, but this was so fun and it was kind of cheeky to me, so i decided i would write about a best friend remus who would do anything for you, including playing along in your schemes (ends in some kissing too 🫣)

You weren't short on cash, but it never hurts to have a little bit more? At least, that's what Marlene Mckinnon said to persuade you into making personalised charms and potions for students. It's tough to be an entrepreneur stuck in high school, but you were determined to work this out. The first iteration of the plan started in the great hall after hearing some kids complain about how often they misplaced their robes. “A crystal orb showing the location of an item could be helpful,” you whispered to your friends, and when everyone agreed instead of laughed at the absurdity, Lily realised you had a gift; your final iteration of your plan was with Remus in the Astronomy tower.

“I think I should start my own business.” Nights like this were perfect for everything; gorging on whatever snacks you want, sharing your most intimate secrets, planning out stupid pranks, and tonight, it would be for gauging your new idea with Gryffindor’s best prefect. You could feel Remus shift on the blanket next to you. As he continued to look at the stars, he started humming in approval. Maybe this was a great idea. And so the star gazing was cut short for a detailed plan including marketing, price gauging and magic; Remus Lupin doesn't half-arse things as he says every single prank.

In the bathroom with Moaning Myrtle, a sign was placed: “Out of Order” with both of your initials underneath. Next was the word of mouth. Kids from all houses, mostly older teens, started purchasing things. Sweets to prank their friends, a drink to reduce hangovers or to keep them awake, a charm that can write notes for you. Then the littles came in, asking for ways to track lost items, maps to see which staircases are changing, charms to turn drawings into little friends that follow you around- business was truly booming.

But it wasn't too long before a professor found you both. While Slughorn and Mcgonagall loved having you as students, there was a “legal guideline” that prevented you from selling to students without a license and having unchecked charms and potions. You both had become totally busted, losing all your Hogsmeade privileges for the next month and having a detention every Friday, and you felt so horrible. Every week Remus would be stuck cleaning random cauldrons and crap because of your idea, the one that he refused to get money off of. You were so sure that you could have taken the brunt of the punishment, but he refused consistently. It made you sick to your stomach.

“I still don't understand why you're here, Remus.” The feeling was eating away at you. “This wasn't your idea! At most, this is 90% my fault.”

Remus hated seeing you sulk like this. He just didn't want you to be alone in these detentions (or wanted to be alone with you), of course, he would admit being a part of the problem.

“I’m your best friend, if I bail, who else will you be counting on?” A shy smile spreads across his freckled and scarred face; Remus loves all the different ways that he is yours.

“I just…”

“Stop feeling guilty. This was my choice, I’m not going to let you clean these flasks alone” His hands were on your shoulders, and his eyes were bearing into yours… until they weren't. It was so miniscule, the faintest flicker down to your lips. But you saw it, and worse, you felt it, you felt the tension shift. One hand crept upwards to your neck, resting patiently at the base. You let out a hasty breath and he responded in the softest chuckle. It was too late before you realised you had been looking at his lips the entire time.

“Can I,” the softest whisper that made your chest coil up.

You squeaked a response out, “what?”

“Kiss you. Can I kiss you?” If he hadn't been leaning in, you wouldn't have heard the full question, but it didn't matter; you had started nodding as soon as you responded.

He brought himself closer, using gentle hands and even gentler lips to bridge the gap; Remus kissed soft and then he kissed harder with passion.

He pulled away momentarily (pulled away being a stretch as he still resided in your personal space, you could feel him breathing in your air). “We should stop, we have the pots.” His cheeks rosied a little. Like a little kid with candy, he didn't want to ruin it too quickly. “Can you kiss me when we are done too? Maybe on a first date?”

[dognonsense]

My original folkpunk song Train Track Diorama

its about how my bus stop was being redone so they keep skipping it now when im taking the bus home, so instead i have to take a route where i take the train tracks home.

When walking home i like to listen to folkpunk and sing as loud I want cause ill often be heading home at 1am and be like ah yes karaoke time on the train tracks.

But when its not 1am and brighr out I'll hunt for train spikes since i think they look cool. The most I collected was twenty in one day but i changed it to nineteen because i enjoy lying and think its a funner number to say. I think I have about 30 spikes total. I keep 4 spikes in my bedroom inside the diorma box that i keep random crap i find. Sometimes i take photos and draw whats there. I also pick up random thrown away toys, art supplies and bits and bobs :3

the chorus is kiss me with teeth, rip into me and take a bite, show me a fight. i like to bite :33 monch monch I'm a puppy girl i bite what can i say. I guess its kind of an exploration into my own repressed sexuality of growing up in singapore and having so much of sexuality being taboo, to the point where if i kissed ppl with teeth theyd always be like woah omg ive never kissed someone like that ur such a violent kisser and its just so weird. Repression of sexuality and all that and just outright yelling KISS ME WITH TEETH!!! and i also really like the imagery of teeth. I have a human teeth necklace and about 10 fake tooth necklaces!

I feel like I should reveal that I am stoned right now writing this. So stoned that i was meant to be grinding my weed and got 4 nugs in it before writinf this essay. And now my cat is yelling at me from outside my door. Allow me to compose myself. I was always meant to be watching ruthless lesbians on the button by film cooper on youtube. My life is so busy yall. I have to watch youtube, smoke weed, and post on tumblr ALL AT ONCE!!! I dont know how I manage it.

I forgot where I was in the song. Oh then! Look up at the ceeeeling! Greet the spiders!! Im looking up right now and there she is a cobweb with a spider above me in my bed. I'm working on having a good relationship with spiders and treating them as friends since they kill bugs.

oh but im new to spiders because in singapore our lil bug eater is a gecko! So growing up in the tropics ur little geckos live in ur house year round and eat ur bugs hide behind paintings and stuff. I was going to add a verse about how my dad tried to train a gecko in his room by killing ants for it and leaving them out and leaving bottle caps woth water out for it. My dad was not a fan of ants. It was very silly of him.

hope you enjoyed this deep dive into train track diorama with your favourite folk punk jester: Meme!!!

[thejennydreadful]

Last Post Until Labor Day

No, really. :-p I posted about this yesterday, but I am taking a summer vacation from social media. That includes Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr. (I already quit Tik Tok… that was a short-lived stint.)

I will be posting at Patreon.com/JennyDreadful, though. I had been thinking for a while that I wished I could go back to just posting in one place, instead of 500. Well, if I’m going to post anywhere, it should be the one place where people are giving me money, right? :-p

There are free posts there, too… people just have to pay to see the ones that contain nudity… but, it is now my one repository for whatever random crap I want to post and get out of my head. :-p (Well, that and the Discord channel that you get access to through Patreon.)

In addition, I have accounts at Medium.com/@JennyDreadful and YouTube.com/@JennyDreadful that I post to every once in a while.

I’m keeping these, technically social media, accounts, because they are places for me to post my creative works. However, they don’t have the feeds that the others do… the toxic feeds that draw me in and steal my time and sanity. I mean, it’s not like I have a lot of those things to throw around as it is! :-p

Labor Day, I’ll be back. Whether I stay back will depend on how much I missed social media. I’m hoping I don’t, but to make this manageable, I’m going to allow myself to reevaluate at the end of the summer.

Oh and yeah, I dyed my hair last night. My hair was driving me crazy so it was either that or cut my bangs… I think I made the right choice. Look, there’s a lot of changes going on and I need control of something! :-p

P.S. You can still email me (jenny @ jennydreadful.com), too!

[shebben]

I imagine that Nancy is telling Kasey about her day after work lol also everything that Nancy is saying is true for an archeological dig some Egyptians did in 2018. I know it’s not the right time period for the story but I was watching a documentary while drawing these haha.

If you want to know, in the 2018 archeological dig, they found a tomb of some dude and it apparently belonged to the guys brother but he turned it into his own. And to prevent himself from being punished for his sins after he died, he wrote on one of the walls that he is one of the 42 judges so he’ll simply just say that he’s innocent and that will excuse his wrongdoing. For context, the ancient Egyptians believed that when you die you go through a certain number of trials. In one of these trials, you are put in front of 42 judges to see if you are worthy of living in the afterlife (since I think if you fail you literally just vanish from existence. I’m not sure tho). After you testify to the 42 judges, they put your heart and a feather on a scale. If your heart is heavier than the feather, you’re guilty. If your heart is lighter, you’re innocent. Writing all of this out made me wonder, who are the 42 judges? Did they have a life on earth? Are they dead souls who just have to be judges for all of eternity? Are the judges the same for every person? And why 42? That’s such an oddly specific number. What does it represent? Are there 42 gods in the ancient Egyptian religion? Has there always been 42 judges or did they add up over time? Since the rules of the religion changed from pharaoh to pharaoh.

I can’t figure out what clothes to give her while she’s actually uncovering lost Egyptian tombs and doing her job lol. The colored sketch of her in overalls with the green shirt gives gardening vibes but they’re literally work clothes. You’re basically meant to get overalls dirty. Maybe if I made the colors more brown and desaturated? I want to keep the head scarf bc that’s how women in the 60s kept their hair protected, but maybe I should just give her the scarf in the sketch on the far left. Maybe I’ll just have her wear some dress pants, a white or beige button up, and suspenders like that archeologist in the 20s. Also, did you know, when you see the super dressed up people at archeological dig sites in the 20s, their clothing was considered casual. Like it was the equivalent to a random shirt and pair of jeans today. There was actually a controversy about some politician who wore a suit to work instead of a fully decked out suit with tails and everything. Everyone was mad that he was so underdressed but now, in 2023, we consider that really fancy. Like holy crap. I bet the people of the 20s or even 60s would be so confused at seeing people now in 2023. Like “why are there so many poor people wearing rags????”

These two blue dresses are just little doodles I made of her. And since I really liked her blue variation, I colored them blue. That’s all for this post. If you read the whole thing, wow thanks. Congratulations have a whale bc they’re cool 🐋

[ronin-deactivated19851026]

so i've been extremely overwhelmed by....... i guess everything online lmao, it's really hard to focus on things when you're constantly bombarded with things you don't really need at the moment

i'm trying to get back into journaling but damn it's so hard. i know my head isn't empty, i spawn walls of texts almost daily, but my mind goes blank when i'm in front of an open notebook because i don't know what's truly worthy of writing down? it's kind of like with drawing at this point. i'm stuck with the art block because i don't know what's worthy of drawing. and guess what made me feel this way? the social media lmfao. i hate that literally every idea i consider cool i never depict because my brain immediately goes like, "who cares about this?", "this won't get noticed and also you're too late, so don't be cringe", etc

i hate this so much idk. anyway, i think i'm going to make a list of things to focus on, both personal projects/artistic inspirations and fandom related ones. i do have things i overfixate on for years, so why am i letting myself be distracted by some random content ideas that only matter to me for like a day or two...?

i should also start limiting inspirations in general, looking at my folder rn and realizing that there are just WAY TOO MANY things i want to incorporate into my work and it really overwhelms me. reminds me of various artists saying that "less is more" and holy crap i should start limiting myself. this is something i slowly started to realize on my own when i did some pixel art, which is limited already due to its nature, with some color palettes instead of randomly staring at a color wheel for half an hour, not being able to decide which one to use.

also i found out about artfol, social media for artists, and so far it seems promising? haven't tried it yet, maybe i will upload some stuff there later. also maybe i'll finally sort everything here on tunglr dot com and make a separate art blog and will use this one as my "main"-diary-esque blog where i won't post much. it's not like i'm on here anyway, my dash feels overwhelming so i don't even scroll past 3-4 posts a day anymore on here. i'm tired of social media. it doesn't feel personal anymore, it's not fun, not interesting...

fomo effect used to fuck me up before something clicked and i stopped scrolling things. because due to nature of the modern internet, i have more chances of stumbling across useful/interesting information if i just keep scrolling through junk. since as you know, google is dead anyway, shit is hard to find these days, and indeed, every cool thing i managed to find was through random braindead scrolling (post 2016 i mean, i miss mid 2000s era when stuff was actually GOOGLEABLE and you didn't need to scroll long ass feed to stumble across cool things, you could get there at your own pace while just surfing the web). so the habit was made worse by "damn what if i miss some obscure post that features obscure cool thing that will matter to me once i get to know it??" but i'm just so fucking exhausted... everything i love about the internet because so dormant, niche even. the internet, as i define it, is dead to me. it's really heartbreaking

[andrewlloydwebber]

@jampharos asked what i would do to fix the 25th anniversary phantom production at royal albert hall.

hal prince did not direct phantom 25, but it was heavily based on his direction. i don't know why this was the case, it appears to not be a scheduling conflict, but instead probably to save money on royalties. instead, they got laurence connor, notorious hack director of the hit musical bad cinderella, to impose his own vision on it. laurence was formerly resident director of phantom west end, where he was quite controversial for introducing "the music of the night is a literal music lesson" and "christine considers suicide before all i ask of you", ideas that would carry over into his UK tour premiering the following year. this is the same production that would later be presented across north america, and in australia and vienna. i am not opposed to non replicas on paper, but i would rather the producers start from scratch when choosing a creative team, instead of hiring former associates and assistants of the original creative team. this weird half-baked, hal prince-lite production did not work for me.

the insistence of hiring 3 LND cast members and also introducing LND-reminiscent blocking choices, like a rough and aggressive jerk of a raoul, christine's vanity facing the audience, belty and non-ballerina meg, sierra directed to play a much more passive and phantom-preferring christine than she would later play on broadway... barf

the venue!!!!! sorry, i know that the royal albert hall is a prestigious venue that holds 5,554 people which meant more people could go in person. BUT this meant that her majesty's theatre, where the musical had actually played for 25 years, was closed! also, the limitations of the venue meant that the set consisted of ugly LED projection screens, 2 staircases, a few select actual replica furniture like the managers table and chair, the organ, a random couch not designed by maria, and a non crashing chandelier also not designed by maria and not looking anything like the palais garnier chandelier. so no mirror bride, no il muto bed, no hannibal elephant, no GOLDEN ANGEL, no DRAPES and physical backdrops, no ornate masquerade staircase, the mirror is another LED screen, and did i mention that the CHANDELIER DOES NOT RISE OR FALL. the mysterious, shadowy, suggestive, jewel box world that maria created is all replaced with garish LED screens. not many people realize that while phantom does have elaborate and ornate set pieces, they're using sparingly. you'll have one or two big set pieces, then drapes and backdrops and lighting allow your brain to fill in the rest of the manager's office or graveyard or rooftop. it's not always literal. meanwhile the uk restaged tour fills the phantom's lair with a bunch of random crap reminiscent of the london production of LND. so i guess the phantom 25 sets are minimalist, but the stupid ugly LED screens take you out of the moment every single time.

hadley fraser had no right to play raoul. sorry!!! i know he's a talented musical theatre actor, but he was never in the show before this and it seems like his casting was influenced by his friendship with ramin karimloo (red flag). so he didn't have a hal prince-direction basis to draw his portrayal from and instead had to learn from the hack director. i'm sure he saw LND london too. this guy literally was afraid he was going to forget the lyrics and all his misinformed stans think it's funny. sorry but he was so aggressive and grouchy and eye-rolly, he tried and failed to give raoul an arc, this post is already too long but i could write another post on how annoying and terrible his raoul is. please, all of his fans should know better.

to summarize: if it had to take place at a larger venue, it should have been one equipped to have a proper production. the cast should have been completely different and drawn more on international cast members besides sierra. and laurence connor should have stayed far, far away.

the phantom 2004 movie >>> 25th anniversary concert

at least the 2004 movie tried to do its own thing and wasn’t a cheapened bastardization of Hal prince’s vision

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 25, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Holy crap, Episode 25! We’re halfway through! *Cue Bon Jovi*

Hunt Invitation

After taking a nice long break to watch Word of Honor pick lotus pods, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli return to stressing over the shitshow that is the post-Sunshot cultivation world. Jin Zixuan has come to invite them to the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, with a special invitation from his mother to Jiang Yanli. Jiang Cheng reacts to this in a mature and reasonable manner, while Wei Wuxian...doesn't.

On the surface, Jiang Cheng has matured in recent months; much more than Wei Wuxian, with his secret burdens, has. But it's only on the surface, as we'll see later in the episode, when Jiang Cheng's insecurity will take the reins.

Jin Zixuan is adorably pleased by Jiang Yanli's acceptance of the invitation. Wei Wuxian is less pleased, but sort of tries to suck it up. 

Jin Zixuan kind of undercuts the romance of his errand by asking Wei Wuxian for the Yin tiger amulet as soon as Jiang Yanli is out of earshot. 

As always, Jin Zixuan makes an impression by being the best Jin currently in existence, but the Jins are terrible. JZX is working to advance his dad's ambitions, and as such he is currently Wei Wuxian's enemy.  

(more after the cut)

Opening Ceremonies

There's a bunch of cultivators arranged for the opening ceremony. Later someone will say that this is more than 5 thousand people. Ok, sure.

As I've said before, it's best to think of it like a theatre production and assume the other 4,900 people are offstage or, you know, painted on the backdrop.  

The young lead cultivators from the four main clans are standing together. Nie Huaisang is trying out some new body armor.

The clan leaders are seated up on the stage, along with Jin Furen and Jiang Yanli. Unfortunately Jin Furen doesn't seem to have a personal name that I can discover. Her title Fūrén ( 夫人)  means she's the primary wife of the head of the family, according to this excellent meta. 

So “Madame Jin” is a decent translation...if you're French?  I feel like instead of English subtitles including borrowed words from French (”Marquis” in NIH), Greek (”Water of Lethe” in WOH), and other European languages, we could try borrowing Chinese words instead. Jin Zixuan's mom is titled, not named, Jin Furen. Since we don’t know her actual name, I'll call her that and abbreviate it JFR.

Wei Wuxian's childishness continues at the opening of the hunt, as does Jiang Yanli's encouragement of his childishness. I know she's had a rough couple of years, and it's understandable to want to baby her little brother out of a sense of nostalgia. But it's not good for him, and she shouldn't do it; she should encourage him to be more mature, just as she does with Jiang Cheng.

War Crimes Contest

Jin Guangyao says they're going to have an archery competition, and they're going to liven it up by endangering some prisoners. These prisoners are Wens in Wen cultivator uniforms, meaning they're not the noncombatants that were being hunted down earlier. But they’re still helpless people in chains. 

There are three different reactions when the Wen prisoners are brought out.  All the Jins are pleased, or neutral. All of the Jiangs, including Wei Wuxian, are upset.

The Nies and the Lans, what we see of them, are a little shocked, but not obviously upset. Based on those reactions, it seems like this is a maneuver that in-world is considered shocking and cruel, but not necessarily unethical or immoral.  Shocking, cruel displays of power are pretty normal in this world; remember when Wen Chao lit a Lan cultivator on fire just to say hello, and nobody complained? 

This whole scenario, of course, has been designed to provoke Wei Wuxian. One major goal of this event, and the whole reason for wanting Wei Wuxian to come,  is to get the Yin Tiger amulet.  Making him lose his shit in front of 100 5000 cultivators is a good step toward compelling him to hand the amulet over.  

We see Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli both signaling Wei Wuxian to keep it together, and he takes a step back and tries to chill.  

Meanwhile, Jin Zixuan seems annoyed by all this, and goes to take a shot at it, making it clear from his demeanor that this is easy and JGY is making a show of nothing. 

He hovers in the air and makes a perfect shot, pleasing most of the crowd and impressing Jiang Yanli. 

Then his cousin Jin Zixun taunts the crowd, challenging anyone to do better.  This presents a bit of a problem for Wei Wuxian. For the sake of the Wen prisoners, Wei Wuxian should just take this taunting and let the contest end, if no-one else is willing to take a shot. But for the sake of the Jiang Clan’s status, and his continued control of the Yin Tiger amulet, he needs to put the Jins in their place.  

Every Day is Blindfold Day

This moral dilemma is resolved with an abrupt tonal shift, where the humanitarian concerns of all parties seem to vanish. Wei Wuxian flirts embarrassingly with Lan Wangji and then goes as far over the top in besting Jin Zixuan as it's possible to go.

The flirting hits differently, incidentally, when you edit Jiang Cheng's annoyed reaction out of it: 

Lan Wangji doesn't seem embarrassed by Wei Wuxian's request, despite it happening in front of 100 5000 of their fellow cultivators. He looks Wei Wuxian straight in the eye for longer than necessary before turning away; it’s not exactly stern disapproval. We’ll get very used to this look, in Wei Wuxian’s second life. 

Fortunately, Wei Wuxian carries a blindfold with him wherever he goes, (gifset here), and he is such a good cultivator he can hit 5 parallel targets simultaneously without even holding his bow straight or tightening the string.

(OP fixed the angle of the bow for this gif, which is why everyone is standing on a hill in the background).

Everyone is pleased by this shot except Jins Guangyao and Zixun; even the Jin cultivators are clapping, and Madame Jin is presumably this happy any time Jin Guangyao’s plans go wrong.

With that they start the hunt. Jin Zixun challenges Wei Wuxian to do the whole hunt blindfolded. Wei Wuxian agrees, but the censorship committee said no, apparently, so we don’t get to see that.

Flute Hunting

We do get to see Wei Wuxian luring monsters into his nets by being too sexy for his robe, too sexy for his robe, and playing the flute.  

We also get to see Jiang cultivators looking puzzled while random monster roars happen in the woods around them. We do not get to see any monsters, which is probably just as well.

Jiang Cheng is annoyed and concerned, muttering "I told you not to overdo it" which means he didn't, you know, tell Wei Wuxian NOT to do this, just not to do it quite so well. Jiang Cheng knows what Wei Wuxian’s abilities are and he is making use of him, as he should, but he doesn’t have the courage of his convictions. 

Tree Confession

Wei Wuxian sees Lan Wangji and starts to say hi, but then he has a desaturated flashback to Lan Xichen telling him to back off, so he stops himself.  But then Lan Wangji comes over to talk to him.

Lan Wangji starts off talking to him about his latest anti-resentment musical discoveries, and Wei Wuxian pushes back, even calling him Lan Wangji, but gently.  Wei Wuxian asks "who am I to you?" and Lan Wangji turns the question right back at him, then waits a looooooong time, eyes downcast, while Wei Wuxian thinks of a serious answer.

Wei Wuxian says "I used to treat you as my zhījǐ" --which, as we’ve discussed before, is variously translated soulmate, confidant, intimate friend--with a strong meaning of "the person who truly knows me." Lan Wangji says "I still am." Coming from Lan Wangji, who NEVER says how he feels about Wei Wuxian or about anything, really, this sounds a lot like a confession of love. 

It definitely takes the form, visually, of a love confession, as Lan Wangji speaks, then gazes at Wei Wuxian while he waits for a reply.  Wei Wuxian's reply is this:

I don't think Wei Wuxian is oblivious (I'm speaking strictly of CQL, not MZDS, as always with these posts; they are different works). I think he loves Lan Wangji back, and knows it. But Chenqing and everything it represents are between them.

Lan Wangji is quite literally NOT his zhījǐ any more, because he doesn't truly know Wei Wuxian right now. He loves him desperately, but he doesn't know about his core, and hasn't accepted his cultivation method.  So Wei Wuxian answers his confession by showing him Chenqing, effectively declining to accept his still-conditional love.

Snake Measuring

Next we get terrible hetero courtship in the form of Jin Zixuan finding snake discharge on the ground and talking to Jiang Yanli about comparative snake measuring. Seriously: that is the actual conversation that they are having.

Jin Zixuan boasts for a bit, and then awkwardly tries to ask Jiang Yanli on a date. When she turns him down he gets mad, because he's a typical heterosexual dude even though he's secretly a delightful person...very, very secretly. Jiang Yanli, for her part, can't string a fucking sentence together to save her life whenever he's around, so she's not helping their mutual understanding. 

Lan Wangji attempts to hold Wei Wuxian back from beating Jin Zixuan’s ass yet again, but eventually JYL wants to leave, JZX tells her to wait, and WWX intervenes. Why doesn't Jiang Yanli have a maid or Jiang cultivator with her while she's on a date, incidentally? These kids are confused about whether they're doing feudal patriarchy or whether they're doing modern social life.

Jin vs. Jiang

Wei Wuxian jumps in between Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, which JZX objects to. Jin Zixuan has no fucking business objecting and Wei Wuxian is 100% right, at this point. As soon as WWX shows up JZX should hand her off to her Shidi, bow, and leave her the fuck alone. Instead, he draws his sword on Wei Wuxian, and kind of on Jiang Yanli since she's right behind Wei Wuxian.  Fortunately, Lan Wangji blocks him. 

This instantly blows up into a Jiang-Jin Clan conflict, with Jiang Cheng unfortunately absent since he let his unmarried sister go off in the woods alone with the son of the Cultivaton world's most famous lecher. It looks like it’s a personal conflict, but since Jin Zixuan already told Wei Wuxian directly that Jin Guangshan wants his amulet, any arguments between them are part of a larger power struggle. 

Cousin Jin Zixun comes running up to start shit. Wei Wuxian pretends--I am SURE he's pretending--not to know who he is. The dude hassles Wei Wuxian every time he sees him; Wei Wuxian is a troll, and right now CJXZ is butting in to something that doesn't concern him. Rather than argue, Wei Wuxian insults him by telling him he’s not memorable.

Jin Furen shows up with several maids and cultivator dudes in tow, which is the proper way for a highborn woman to wander around in the woods. She also brings Clan Leader Yao, because if it's Wei Wuxian Blaming Hours, Yao is going to be there.  

I initially found the deep friendship between superhot Yi Zuyuan and dumpy Jin Furen implausible, but then I remembered that my lifelong bestie is a smokin' hot redhead with impeccable fashion sense, while I am a roly-poly nerd.  Friends don’t always match. Also, Jin Furen's actress, Hu Xiaoting, looks like this: 

...so she is actually hot in real life. Not as hot as Zhang Jingtong (who plays Yu Ziyuan) but literally nobody is as hot as Zhang Jingtong. Don't @ me, you know I'm right.

This is a heck of a long scene, so we’ll pick it up in part two! 

Soundtrack: Livin’ on a Prayer by Bon Jovi

Writing prompt: Newly-divorced, cold-hearted CEO Yu Ziyuan buys an apartment next door to newly-divorced, warm-hearted pastry chef ...uhh let's call her Jin Dàngāo (蛋糕), sure. She can name her business after herself. 

They discover their daughter & son are in the same college class, and so they meet up over coffee....several times...trying to matchmake their hopeless, hapless kids, while bonding over their own terrible (former) taste in husbands. Who will Cupid strike first, the kids or the moms?

[sparring-hyena]

love language.

you know what time it is, folks: i ramble about random things for a few hundred words :)

OR, Poppy’s journey to realising she’s in love, and all the ways she says “i love you,” without actually saying it until she finally does.

-

i. giving gifts.

this starts off as an accident.

she’s out walking around the city when she finds herself in a store packed tight with random knick-knacks. and that’s when she finds a ceramic cactus sitting between a dusty old lamp and rubber band ball.

she’s not sure why she decides to buy the cactus. or why she thinks it would look nice on AJ’s desk beside her stack of textbooks. but it’s not like she’s actually going to give it to her. that would be ridiculous.

so she takes the ceramic cactus home. tries to find a place for it in her room, but it never looks right. because when she looks at it, all she can think of is AJ and that it should be in her room instead.

and maybe she accidentally gives the ceramic cactus to AJ the next time she sees her. but it’s nothing, okay?

ii. acts of service.

this one is strange, she thinks. strange because there really isn’t any reason that they would do things for each other. that they would go out of their way to do things for each other. and yet...

“you really didn’t have to bring me soup, y’know?” AJ says.

“you’re sick. obviously i’m going to bring you soup.”

“i wouldn’t want you catching whatever i’ve got, is all.”

“i don’t get sick.”

“i’m touched that you’re using your superpower to help me then.”

Poppy rolls her eyes at the comment, but does little to suppress her smile.

“but if you do get sick, i promise that i’ll bring you soup too.”

“you’d better. now shut up and eat your soup.”

Poppy does get sick a week later. but true to her word, AJ brings soup and medicine and sleeps over every night until she’s better.

iii. quality time.

they aren’t dating. if they were dating there’d be grand romantic gestures. probably fancy dinners and quiet mornings in. what they’re doing is decidedly not that.

see, currently they’re sitting on the kitchen floor eating dry cereal straight from the box because... actually, Poppy doesn’t know why they are. she’d just come over and found AJ already on the floor with a box of cereal.

and it’s not like she came over because she wanted to. AJ had texted. had asked if she would. and obviously she did and now she’s not so sure if that actually helps prove her point of not.

but whatever, that’s not the point. the point, she guesses, is that they’re sitting on the floor eating dry cereal. and it’s not like she’s actually enjoying it anyway. she’s definitely not enjoying the way their sides are flush together. and she’s absolutely not enjoying the way AJ’s drawing random things on her leg that she’ll just have to wash off later. and—

“thank you for coming over tonight,” AJ says, eyes focused on drawing.

“of course,” Poppy says, her voice quiet like a promise, because of course she’s going to come if AJ asks her to.

she presses a kiss to AJ’s shoulder. and AJ smiles quietly to herself as she finishes her drawing.

and okay, maybe they are dating.

iv. physical touch.

so they’re dating. so what? no big deal. it’s not like it’s— no, Poppy’s not even going to think the word. why bother thinking it when it’s not what they are?

“you alright?” it’s AJ’s gentle voice that brings Poppy out of her thoughts.

“hmm?”

“you okay? you seem spacey.” and then AJ reaches across table to place her hand on top of Poppy’s.

and the touch sends some kind of spark zapping through Poppy. not like static electricity though. because she doesn’t at all want to pull away.

“yeah, just tired.”

“sorry for dragging you out then. i know it’s late.”

“it’s fine. i like spending time with you.” and that... she hadn’t mean to say that. the admission had just sort of slipped through her lips. and now she holds her breath in her throat, because AJ is bound to make a comment about that. and then they’ll both laugh and pretend it means nothing, even though it means everything. but no comment comes.

AJ just smiles and says, “me too,” and then goes back to reading the menu in front of her. but she doesn’t pull her hand away. in fact, she links their fingers together on top of the table and then gives Poppy’s hand a little squeeze. almost like she knows Poppy is looking.

the gesture fills Poppy with something warm and makes her wonder maybe it is—

then her heart thumps in her chest and her stomach leaps and flips because this is new, this is exciting. it sends little jolts out to her fingers and toes. makes her smile secretly to herself as she dips her head to look at the menu that she’s not at all focusing on because her hand is still in mine and now she’s rubbing her thumb in circles and— oh.

oh.

crap. maybe it is love.

v. words of affirmation.

it takes a while to get here. there are bumps along the way—secrets and fights and misunderstandings. but they work through it all. learn to communicate and kiss it all better.

so when they’re alone in AJ’s room one night. showered and dressed in warm and soft clothes to ward of the chill that set in weeks ago. Poppy looks up from her phone and finds AJ finishing an essay at her desk.

she breathes, “i love you,” almost like a sigh of relief.

“what was that, babe?” AJ looks away from her laptop, face scrunched up in adorable confusion.

Poppy smiles and slips out of AJ’s bed and goes to straddle her in the desk chair. the position’s a little awkward and uncomfortable, but AJ holds on tight to Poppy and makes sure she won’t fall.

AJ smiles up at Poppy with that dopey grin that’s so earnest and open and carries no expectations.

“i love you,” she says again, whispered like a promise into the small space between them.

AJ beams that megawatt smile, and Poppy can’t help but feel like they’re the only two people in the world.

“what a coincidence, because i love you too.”

then their lips meet in a gentle and brief kiss, and when they pull apart, Poppy rests her forehead against AJ’s with a smile on her face because suddenly everything makes so much more sense.

[pokemoncreepypasta]

Tommy Boy

[STORY SOURCE]

It was one of those sleepovers, just me and my bestie, when we got bored and had a dumb idea. Well, she got the brilliant idea anyways.

Apparently, she thought it would be “fun” to try and perform one of those summoning rituals, even though she knew anything and everything paranormal gave me nightmares for weeks. Which is why I think she wanted to do it so bad.

Of course, I wouldn’t willingly go along with the ritual, so my friend had to persuade me by offering her Darkrai plushie which I had coveted for a few weeks now. I remember wondering if the risk of eternal damnation was worth it for just a toy...

Apparently the answer was yes, since I eventually went along with this freaking idea.

The requirement for the ritual was paper, pencil, a candle, 6 random dolls, and 60 minutes of your time.

It had to be in a dark house, or in the middle of the night. We did it around midnight, after everyone else was asleep.

The first step was to put the 6 dolls in a circle.

Then draw a summoning circle on the middle of the paper and put it in the center of the circle of dolls.

After placing it on the floor, recite, “Any entity, you may enter.”

Wait for a while, around a minute, then prick your finger and put your bloody fingerprint in the middle of the summoning circle.

Recite, “By blood we are bound.”

You then turn off all the lights, if any are still left on, then light your candle and recite, “Whomever loses may never leave.”

Afterwards, you stumble around in the dark and play hide-and-seek with whatever you just summoned, if you even successfully summoned anything.

You must switch the room you’re hiding in every 10 minutes or else you will automatically be found by default. If you candle doesn’t blow out within and hour, then you win, and allegedly whatever spirit you summoned will be bound to your eternal service.

If it does blow out, then you’ve been found and you lose. Whatever happens afterwards depends on whatever spirit, peaceful or malevolent, that you summoned.

While me and my friend were huddled in the laundry room whispering and giggling about stupid things, the candle flickered out. I promptly flipped and hid in the corner with my hands over my head waiting for the worst to happen, while my friend laughed at pathetic little me.

After about five minutes of trying to convince me I wasn’t going to die, she told me she had blown out the candle herself. That made me feel a little better, even thought I still didn’t believe it.

Though, the Darkrai plushie I received the next day helped wash my worries away.

Though it wasn’t enough to wash away everything else that was about to happen.

Later on that day after my friend left, my little sister had begged me to let her play my Pokémon Emerald. I let her, since all she did was pretty much give free training to my Pokémon.

I was watching TV, and was a bit peeved when she ran into the room and started nagging me about a green Trapinch, so I waved her off. It took me a few seconds before I realized my grave mistake, so I quickly snatched my GameBoy back.

I was pleasantly surprised to see my sis had somehow managed to find a shiny Trapinch.

I told her to back off and let me handle this, since I wasn’t about to let her try to catch it. Although, things looked bad as my Pokémon were all too strong to weaken it.

But I was feeling confident with over 40 Ultra Balls in stock along with a few backups, so I kept throwing and throwing until one of them worked.

The trouble was, this stubborn Trapinch didn’t want me as its trainer. 

I might not have been able to weaken it, but it still chewed through nearly every one of my PokéBalls.

I was awash with horror at the thought of failing my first ever shiny. That’s when my sister offered to catch it for me.

I didn’t want to hand it over to her, but then my mind rationalized it by thinking that if she failed it, losing the Trapinch would be her fault, not mine.

I was shocked again as she handed me back the GameBoy less than a minute later with a brand new shiny Trapinch in my party named Tommy Boy.

The only response I could think of at first was, “Tommy Boy? Why name it that?”

“Because, it’s a boy and I wanted to name it Tommy, so Tommy Boy!”

I didn’t even want to know what went on in my sister’s head, but I quickly stopped caring and all I could do was just stare at my newfound shiny.

I went to immediately test him out and see what he could do against a wild Sandshrew.

“Tommy Boy refuses to attack!” 

I tried to fight, but I got this refusal instead. I tried to attack the Sandshrew again, but I just kept getting the same message.

“This is a load of crap.”

“Oh, I can make him attack!” My sister stole the GameBoy back and then proceeded to defeat the Sandshrew with no further issue.

“What the... How did you do that?!” My sister gave me a stupid grin, “He listened to me because I’m his mommy!” Sure, whatever, I thought privately to myself.

I was happy to let her train this Trapinch into a Flygon for me, anyway. I was puzzled by its behavior, to say the very least, and decided not asking anything would be better for my health and just kept watching TV.

I thought she would grow bored of training the Pokémon, but no. For the rest of the day and deep into the night, she worked tirelessly to gain experience for Tommy Boy. I wondered how someone could stand training the same Pokémon for so many hours without getting bored at all.

Finally, around 11 PM, she had to go to bed. Unwillingly, she saved the game and turned it off, but not before saying good night to Tommy Boy and kissing the GameBoy goodnight.

I was still allowed to stay up longer, so as soon as she was in bed, I quietly grabbed my GameBoy out from under her bed sheets. Emerald was already in, so I simply switched the game on.

Once the game was loaded, I saw that Tommy Boy was the only one in the party, for some reason.

But he was already evolved into a Flygon, and at level 66. Too bad she only had interest in training Tommy Boy, so much that she decided to stuff all my other team members in the PC.

I started to leave the desert where my sister had last saved when I ran into a wild Baltoy. I lovingly sighed as Tommy Boy came out sparkling. Then, my expression became a bit more serious.

That freaking pixel better listen to me this time.

I clicked on “Fight”. He had new moves: Crunch, DragonBreath, Sandstorm, and Hyper Beam.

I selected Hyper Beam, and desperately hoped that he would obey. I held my breath.

“Tommy Boy refuses to attack!”

“Dang it!!” I yelled at the screen.

Tommy Boy got hit with and attack, which didn’t do too much damage. I kept cursing at the Pokémon. I couldn’t believe I had a shiny in the palm of my hands and it wouldn’t even listen to me!

I selected DragonBreath, despite knowing he wouldn’t obey anyways.

“Tommy Boy wants his mommy!”

I gawked at this line of text. I surely hadn’t seen any Pokémon do that before. I almost wanted to laugh, the way that line was written almost sounded funny, but I was off-put and confused. Tommy Boy got hit with another attack.

“Come on, can’t you at least show some pity for your aunt?!” I spoke aloud to the game, like my sister had started doing. Tommy Boy offered me no pity and kept refusing. I didn’t want to deal with him getting knocked out, so I just turned the game off and begrudgingly went to bed.

The next morning, I found my little sister leaning back in a chair contentedly playing the GameBoy. I realized she snatched it from my room while I was asleep, which I guess was an equal exchange. I asked her if anything weird was happening with the GameBoy, but she said all was fine.

Then she asked me why I was playing on the GameBoy last night.

“Uhh... because it’s my game? I should still be able to play it too.”

She eyed me. “Just don’t mess with Tommy Boy again. Just because you’re his aunt doesn’t mean he likes you.”

She immediately changed her threatening disposition by cheerily calling out, “Oh, good boy, Tommy! You showed that Sandshrew! You make mommy so proud!”

I decided to shrug it off. I wasn’t about to get into an argument with my sister about a video game.

A few days into this, I was over her shoulder watching her play.

She was in the desert, and kept battling the Pokémon there over and over again. Tommy Boy acted like a normal Pokémon, and did nothing unusal.

“Why do you only battle Pokémon in the desert?” “Because, Tommy Boy only likes to battle Pokémon here.” She kept playing, as if everything was normal. After a moment, I thought of another question, “Why will he only obey you and not me?” “I told you, he’ll only listen to his mommy.” “It’s my game he’s on, so I should be his mommy, shouldn’t I? How does he know YOU’RE his mommy?” My sister paused for a moment. After a minute she responded, “Tommy Boy says screw you.” She giggled, while I gave up and left, fuming.

However, days turned into weeks, and my sister had been spending our entire vacation so far just sitting in her room. Apparently, she had started neglecting to eat or drink anything, and would only ever fall asleep when she passed out, GameBoy still in her hands.

It started getting so bad that my mom told me at one point she threw up blood. We’d tried taking the game way from her, but she’d screech at us like she was possessed and tear the whole house apart trying to find it.

Mom said they were arranging for her to see a therapist and get an opinion on what the heck we should do, but for the meantime she was allowed to keep the game, to make things easier for everyone until getting an appointment.

But I wasn’t satisfied with that. I needed to intervene.

One night, I decided to work up the nerve to confront her about her addiction. I found her in her room, as always. She was on the bed with the covers over her head. One would think she was sleeping, but the quiet sounds of the GameBoy gave her away.

I pulled the sheets away from her and she hissed briefly at me before continuing with her eyes glued to the screen. I hardly recognized my happy-go-lucky sister. She looked half dead. I tried holding a conversation with her, but all I got were distant “Mm-hm”s and “It’s fine.” The only way I could get her to talk to me was to attempt to take the game away, to which she immediately responded.

“NO! He’s my baby!!! He NEEDS me!” My sister screeched at me. 

“IT is an inanimate object! It doesn’t NEED anything!” I yelled back at her, clutching her arm that was holding the GameBoy. I managed to rip the Emerald cartridge out of the game while it was still running, causing it to let out horrible screeching sounds. I then pretended to throw it out an open window into the darkness outside of our house, to which my sister immediately pushed me onto the floor and jumped out into the yard after it. 

Picking myself up, I noticed she had dropped my GameBoy, too, so I discreetly plopped the game back into the system and stuffed it into my pocket.

I spitefully closed the window behind my sister. She could come back inside once she realized what this game was doing to her.

What... WAS this game doing to her, I wondered?

Once my sister had collapsed from exhaustion and been carried back to bed by my confused dad (to whom I lyingly explained I had no involvement in this), I decided I would find out for myself.

When I booted up the game, I was in the middle of my secret base in Route 120.

I checked my party to find only Tommy Boy, at a whopping level 100. Since it hand only taken her a day to get him to level 66, she must’ve reached 100 long ago, but she’d still been playing this all month.

Was she seriously doing the same battles over and over, despite him not being able to go any higher...?

When I exited the party screen and was back in the base though, a circle of six Pokédolls were around me that I hadn’t noticed before, which quite frankly creeped me out.

When I tried to move, a text box popped up saying, “Any entity may enter.”

“By blood we are bound.”

A strange red circle appeared in the middle of the circle of dolls, and I quickly realized I didn’t want anything to do with whatever was about to go down.

I tried to step away again, but another text box appeared. 

“Whomever loses may never leave.”

I tried running for dear life out the exit, but I was stopped.

“You may never leave.”

A shiny Flygon appeared in the middle of the circle and let out what I assumed was its cry, albeit I was too horrified for my life at that moment to care much for details, and the game froze.

I shut the game off, stared at it for a second, then suddenly every memory of what I had done earlier in the summer came flooding back at once. I knew exactly what Tommy Boy was now, and I was absolutely terrified.

I wanted to hold myself, cry my eyes out and throw this game into the woods where no one would ever find it, but then I thought about my sister. I thought about how if I didn’t get rid of Tommy Boy now, things would probably get worse and soon I’d wake up to find my little sister stabbing herself to death, or me.

Through my tears, I turned the game back on.

“It’s just you and me now, Tommy. Rematch. Double or nothing.”

If he won, he could take us both. But if I won, he would take his sorry demon hide back to wherever it was he came from. He seemed keen on my offer, as the game started up with no problems.

Once the game was up and running, I found my character in the middle of a dark cave. 

I instinctively went to my party to make someone use Flash, but then I remembered more than likely Tommy Boy was going to be there.

I braced myself...

But I was pleasantly surprised to find there were just some random Pokémon instead.

Of course, I didn't have the HM for Flash. Or the TM for Dig. Or any Escape Rope.

...

Wonderful.

So I stumbled around in the dark, trying to find my way out of this mess.

I kept bumping into walls and rocks, climbing up and down countless ladders, but there was no exit in sight. Or any trainers in sight, for that matter.

In fact, I hadn't run into any wild encounters either, until I came to the conclusion that there was only one Pokémon I would be running into here, and that I should avoid it like the plague.

Was spamming Super Repel going to protect me from a level 100 demonic Flygon? Probably not, but I couldn't be too careful.

After some time nowhere near an hour, I found myself in a small room that had nothing in it. I tried to go back the way I came, but I was stopped. My character wouldn't move. I started to tense up again.

The light surrounding me in-game was snuffed out, and all that could be seen was darkness. I was about to turn the game off before something happened, but before I could, something happened.

“Found you.”

The text in red popped up with a Flygon cry to accompany it, and the game froze again.

"No!" I yelled desperately, flickering the game off and on again. "One chance, give me one more chance!"

Instead, when I loaded the file, I was met with a glitchy, pixelated mess of a screen flashing multicolored lights while blaring the loudest beeping noise I'd ever heard in my life that sent my ears and eyes ringing. I quickly shut off the game and stared at the empty screen in disbelief for I don't know how long.

Had I lost the game?

I couldn't accept that. I was going to play this game all night if I had to. One of us would be leaving tonight, and it wasn't going to be me. Bracing myself, I tightly closed my eyes and powered the game on again. I expected another cacophony of buggy sounds and flashing lights, but surprisingly, I was able to boot up my save file just fine.

But, unfortunately, I didn't get the Round 3 of hide-and-seek that I had vainly asked for.

Instead, I was at the bottom of Mt. Pyre.

I still had the same team as before, unable to Fly or Surf away from this nightmarish set of circumstances that I'd been put in.

I don't know what Tommy Boy was getting at, or what he wanted from me now, but I knew the only way to understand exactly what I was dealing with would be to play along, just for now.

My only option left was to climb Mt. Pyre.

I felt a mounting suspense that kept rising each floor I went to, although I didn't know why. Maybe it was because every floor, even indoors, were all unusually foggy.

However, the wild Shuppet started to make quick work of my low leveled Pokémon.

I then got the sudden idea that maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all. If my entire party fainted, I could get sent back to a Pokémon Center and escape the boundaries of Tommy Boy's "game."

When they all fainted though, I didn't get sent back. Instead, I was still trapped on Mt. Pyre.

All of the Pokémon that were protecting me were gone now.

I still ran into Shuppet, except I kept sending out a large "?" where a Pokémon should've been.

I kept whiting out, only to return to the position I'd started the battle in.

After a nerve-wracking climb though the graveyard, I reached the top.

Surrounding the pedestal at the top were six PokéBalls.

As I checked each one, a picture of a Pokémon would pop up.  They seemed really familiar, and soon I realized all the Pokémon here were part of the team I was just using.

After I checked the sixth Pokémon, I found my character to be trapped in the center of the pedestal with no way out.

I frantically mashed the D-Pad in hopes of finding some way to escape.

In the midst of my panic, a glowing red circle materialized on the ground, connecting all the PokéBalls surrounding the pedestal, with me still in the center.

I remember at that moment thinking, I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die, and I wholeheartedly believed I was going to.

Then, a large text box in all red with a Flygon cry popped up...

“YOU MAY NEVER LEAVE.”

That right there sealed the deal.

I wasted no shred of time pulling out that Emerald cartridge and cutting it into an unrecognizable pile of green plastic with my scissors.

In my desperation, I brushed the remains of the cartridge into my trash can, wrapped up the trash bag, and went to the extent of escaping through my window and throwing it into the woods. Screw littering, screw the police, I didn't want that thing in my house.

And especially screw Tommy Boy. Screw his little game, screw the thought of him having any sort of control over me.

The only way to win is not to play, and I made sure no one would ever play this game again.

The next morning, my much more well-rested little sister asked where my GameBoy was, and I was about to tell her she was never allowed to touch that thing for as long as she lives, but then she asked to play Mario Party Advance on it.

I was baffled, to say the least, but found no problem in it and let her play it. She showed no signs of becoming obsessed and got bored of playing it after an hour, so I was relieved and assumed that the worst was over.

You can be sure I am not, and will never, plan on performing any more summoning rituals any time soon.

Thankfully, my little sister's gone back to being completely normal. If anything, her only sign of change is that she's getting into that "girly stage". She'll get Pokémon plushies and sit them all in a circle and play tea party with them in her room. At least, that's what I think she's doing with them.

Doesn't matter to me though, I'm busy with my own things. I'm happily content with my dear Darkrai plush that took entirely too much effort out of my life to obtain. I feel really bad for neglecting him these past few weeks, but it's okay.

I won't be giving any more of my time or attention to anyone else except my little baby.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S5 Ep 18: A Series of Ecological Disasters

Booting up ye old Yugioh, booting up a new aesthetic playlist to type to. (today’s playlist is webcore, which would feel like such a damn fake aesthetic, if it weren’t that every single one of these -core aesthetics are pretty damn fake and everyone knows it.)

Anyway, it’s been so long that, I’ll be honest, I thought I booted up the wrong episode:

I usually skip the anime intro, but I try to watch it once each arc, cuz the intros change, and this arc was like “screw it, here’s all the other villains, just pretend this arc isn’t happening.” They had Pegasus, they had Marik, they have Bakura (who is kind of in this shot as well, you can see him phasing in there.) And like...I guess they’re hiding the villain of this arc or something because that was it. Alexander the Great got just nixed from this villain list and that’s a shame.

Just a real weird choice, but since apparently this arc didn’t air in Japan they probably had to outsource this anime intro and whatever studio in charge of it just cobbled together stuff from every other season and then a couple of shots of capsule stuff.

Speaking of capsule stuff: get a load of how many freakin lines the animators have to deal with every time they draw Grandpa.

Bro saw this and was like “oh yeah, this is a Shonen Jump” and yeah. The hair does give those vibes. We got a good look at what Vegeta would look like if he really let himself go.

(read more under the cut)

Sorry, my playlist started playing a song where every single line of the song is “Adrien Brody” and it took me like a few minutes to realize I was listening to “Brodyquest” completely seriously.

Damn it, webcore, don’t betray me like this.

Anyway, this arc does something super surprising: Yugi actually hugs somebody and doesn’t look like he’s going to pass out standing up.

It is pretty fitting that the good Yugi hug would go to Grandpa.

And, as night falls, Joey Wheeler has gotten hungry, and there is nothing to eat but his new best friend and spirit animal, baby dragon. Unfortunately he shares life points with the dragon, and I think if you eat it that just instakills you.

And directly underneath him--since this world is like 100 feet wide and things just conveniently happen--Tea has told everyone that they needed to stop worrying about Joey. Which is a lot coming from Tea, because her worrying about Yugi/Yami getting hurt is most of what occupies her headspace in this series.

But even Tea was like, screw Joey, I guess.

Who kinda just falls directly into them upside down, and shows us what Joey’s hair looks like when it’s sticking straight up.

For reals, admire how long Joey Wheeler’s hair is. If Tea were upside down, she would have the same length of hair.

Also speaking of Vegeta, I am low key concerned that Joey has what appears to be a significant amount of male pattern balding going on for a teenager.

Apparently getting set on fire many, many times did have an effect on Joey, and this massive pompadour he wears is a combover. Poor baby.

Holy crap, if this is what card stress and getting killed multiple times did to Joey Wheeler, can you imagine what’s going on under Seto’s bangs? That’s probably why his bangs ride so low, Seto likely wears a freakin toupee.

Guys, Joey’s gonna lose his hair at 25 at this rate. Those locks just aren’t long for this world. Poor baby.

After Joey rejoins the party, he immediately eats all of their food. Not sure why they can’t just have Baby Dragon eat like...whatever Baby Dragon naturally eats...and then transform that into shared Joey Wheeler life points, but it’s not clear exactly how much of a life-connection they have with their Yugioh monsters. Not like it matters because Joey Wheeler is default starving all the time anyway.

Tristan has decided we should start laying blame, I guess because Duke Devlin isn’t here anymore to be the local kill joy. This doesn’t seem to be important at any point, and most of the characters are just ignoring Tristan because like...once you’re in the haunted game in a haunted tomb in a random part of India--it’s kind of moot to argue about who’s fault that is, youknow?

Joey reminds us that he found this quest item in a treasure chest under a secret waterfall. No one says “that was convenient that you landed there after getting chased through a ravine by man-eating birds after you got your dragon from when you got your crotch injury from getting spliced by that tree.”

Which is when Tea says “Wait! We haven’t had a plot thing happen in like 4 seconds! Wait!”

Hey what degree of “I don’t trust nature” do you have to be to assume that all the flowers are trying to eat you?

Like what level of anxiety is Tea where she not only is like “pretty sure the flowers are going to destroy us?” but also...she’s correct? Like she’s not wrong.

They set the dog flowers on fire, but unlike the Jungle Book this doesn’t solve any problems (which apparently got taken off the Disney+ kid’s menu so...yet again, I make a Disney reference in these recaps that future generations will not understand because so much of the Disney library has been banned from the vault. It’s almost like Disney should let go of that copyright they held on for like a hundred years, because what they’re holding on to is only going to get more racist with time. But nah. Gotta hold on with their greedy mickey mouse gloves.)

So instead of using fire, Tristan used his monster to electrocute the air (?) and blind the dogs. Wisely, the animators quickly jumped to this other scene so we wouldn’t have to analyze why it’s suddenly daytime or why that plan would even work.

Joey and Tristan do a lot of buddy buddy stuff this arc. Usually we see a lot of Joey and Yugi’s bottomless friendship, but we don’t get this much Tristan/Joey love. So shippers rejoice, these two seem to have several coordinated dances and songs...and I’d say that teens don’t typically do that, but I went to summer camp, there are situational places where teens will sing the entire vacation and make coordinated dances.

Weirdly, since Joey and Tristan share so much time together, this also means Tea and Yugi actually sit next to eachother for a lot of this arc, almost as if they were a couple. Mind you, they’re chaperoned closely by Grandpa, but youknow...that’s a different energy than I’m used to seeing.

That and like, they can’t have Tea dance with them because last time she did a dance, it was like a DDR fight and she elbowed some guy like it was a fisticuffs situation. Like there was some sort of dance war going on behind the scenes of Yugioh’s card war, and it came up once and I guess Tea resolved it and the dance fights haven’t come back since.

Overall, if they did a dance with Tea, they would get kneed in the face, so that’s probably why they insist on doing cancans as a duet and not a trio.

After Joey and Tristan freak out over having no food, Tea decides to just start eating in front of them.

and like...didn’t Joey eat that food yesterday? Like last night? The short term memory loss on all these fools.

Immediately after this we realize something weird in the water. That’s right, it’s a massive head.

Yugi seems to have forgotten they lit this turtle on fire and electrocuted the entire sky the night before. Not that it mattered.

There were like...nesting birds on those trees on that island. What the hell? They just killed so MANY of those man-eating dogs that are flowers.

Seriously are land turtles allowed to just...dive underwater for long periods of time? How does that ecosystem even work? It’s like...That’s wild to think about.

Inside the temple, they have to fight a genie or something.

In case you were wondering, the only reason Tea and Grandpa got iced is because they were the closest to the door. The two who were actually standing out of harms way were the closest to harm the whole time.

Bro tells me this is also what will happen to you if you are in the front or the back of the party while playing Cthulu D&D

Anyway, Pharaoh decides to disclose that his big problem of feeling guilty all the time and taking all the blame, which he did all of last season...is still a huge problem he will probably never tackle.

Straight up, don’t be fooled by my caps, everyone else has completely forgotten about Alex, who is still running around that temple up there. They haven’t even asked Grandpa “hey is this your protege? Is this your mentee you never told us about?” Nah. They already forgot. 

How wild is it that Pharaoh thinks this is all his fault when he was the only one who was like “YUGI IT’S A TRAP DON’T GO IN THE- well...OK I guess we’re doing this, fine.” Is he upset he didn’t take control from Yugi and walk back to the plane? Because that’s the only way he could even be partially responsible, He was the only guy who was like “I see the end from the beginning on this y’all, and it’s the massive pyramid in India.”

Speaking of forgetting, they came across this language Pharaoh has decided to have nothing to do with.

This was actually a riddle and it was like...it was a riddle, sure, I guess.

And so Joey Wheeler does not hallucinate his dead wife from a previous incarnation and get on the back of his Baby Dragon to sail away into the sunset. Instead they’re just gonna walk.

Too bad Tea’s orb covered in wings only seems to hover a bit. Every single wing on that weird orb is absolutely useless.

And then Pharaoh’s pokemon is just a fire--which is hard to sit on--and Celtic Guardian...who would allow it, sure, but probably doesn’t fly (I think. He might fly)

And then Tristan’s Pokemon kinda seems like if you sit on it, you will get electrocuted. It can probably fly though. It’s very round. Seems like an anime thing that the more round your mascot character is, the more likely it can at least bounce a good distance.

So, next time, I’m just going to assume that we are going to do even more camping. And youknow, if you told me exactly HOW MUCH CAMPING was in this card game show with super future tech, I would not have believed you. But like...a lot of this series is set in the woods right? Like a lot a lot? I have grown to appreciate the woods.

Anyway, as always, if you just got here, this is a link to read these in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

See you next time!

[gunterfan1992]

Interview with Half Shy (the songwriter of “Monster”)

For the last few months, I’ve been collecting information for a second edition of Exploring the Land of Ooo that will also cover the production of Distant Lands. This means that I’ve started to look into the new songs that we have been graced with this year, and this of course includes “Monster,” the beautiful track from the masterpiece that is “Obsidian”. And so I reached out to the song’s writer, Half Shy, who was kind enough to chat with me via email about the songwriting process!

(Photo courtesy of Half Shy)

In many ways, Half Shy is living the creative Adventure Time fan’s dream: She got asked by Adam Muto himself to write a song for “Obsidian” after he heard her music through Bandcamp! (I’ve dabbled in fan music before, and the fact that someone from the show might listen to it just blows my mind.) What an opportunity; I am so excited for her!

Since a second edition of my book won’t be coming out until after all the Distant Lands episodes air, I thought it would be best to share my Half Shy interview now. Read on for the fascinating behind the scenes story of how Half Shy and “Monster” came to be..

GunterFan: What is your origin story? How did you get involved in music, and how did the Half Shy project come to be?

Half Shy: I’ve been making music pretty quietly since I was in high school with a keyboard and guitar. I played one or two shows a year after college when I could find a friend or my brother to get up on stage with me, but I don’t really have that performer gene in me naturally. I get too much in my head and forget what the lyrics are to the song I wrote, or what the next chord is. Total brain freeze. So that whole experience is a bit of a mental drain. It’s something I think I’d like to dig into and figure out, but right now I’m really enjoying the time writing.

Even playing a song for my friends I still get pretty nervous. That’s where the name Half Shy comes from. I’ve always been interested in making things that by their nature draw a bit of a spotlight, but at the same time, I am just really quite nervous about the attention.

I recorded my first songs under my old name Hey V Kay in my bedroom and started putting them up online one at a time. When I got enough I thought about packaging it up into an album, but then got really distracted by learning how to fix up motorcycles and going to automotive tech school. When I eventually got back around to it I named the album Gut Wrenching.

After a few years I realized that I didn’t want the day-in-day-out life of a mechanic, I just wanted to know how to fix cars for myself and to have that knowledge in my back pocket. I got back into making music but grew frustrated at the process of writing and recording songs. I felt like I wasn’t able to capture the ideas I had in my head. Like trying to draw on your computer with a mouse. Doable, but it’s not going to come out like you’d hoped.

So these last couple of years I’ve focused more on learning the technical aspect of it, from the initial ideas and lyrics, to the recording and mixing. During that process I put out Bedroom Visionaries, and while writing I happened upon the name Half Shy in an old Thesaurus which felt instantly right. Learning all of that has been fun, I even went as far as to create my own book to solidify a daily writing routine (lyricworkbook.com). All that has been a bit of a tangent from actually making much music though. I should be getting my books in December from the press so I’m really looking forward to getting back into making more music instead of dealing with printing presses, setting up websites, and sourcing ribbon suppliers.

GF: What is the story behind "Monster"? How did the show get in contact with you?

HS: I keep a log of “Song Starters” with neat things I’ve heard in the world, and I would look through it every now and then and notice just how many came from Adventure Time. Eventually I thought well, I have to make a song about this show that just keeps breaking my heart. It was around the time I was nearly done with the first [Adventure Time-inspired] song “In My Element” that I got an email from Bandcamp saying “someone bought your album (Bedroom Visionaries).”

I get maybe one or two of these a month at most so I love to go in and say hi to the person and say thanks, be curious about who they are, [and] what they’re all about. Turns out it was Adam Muto, the executive producer of the show. (I asked and he has no idea how he happened upon my stuff. He guessed that I must have tagged something #adventuretime and he just happened to see it.) So I sent him an email saying, “Hey wow thanks for checking out my tunes. Also... holy crap you’ve made the best show I have ever seen in my life.” [I] played it real cool like. After finishing up writing my second [Adventure Time-inspired] song “Betty” I couldn’t help but fangirl real hard [and I sent him another message saying], “I’m sorry this is probably awkward, but I really love your show and I wrote these songs about it.” He was incredibly kind and shared them with his Twitter Universe, and a while after that I got a random email from him saying basically, “Hey, I’m working on this thing I can’t talk about, would you be interested?” I was like… well you know I’m pretty busy working at a sign shop so I’m gonna have to pass on this once in a lifetime opportunity (J/K. Obviously I fan-girl squealed and said yes immediately).

We chatted a bit about what the project was going to be and the direction. He mentioned there [would be] two Marceline songs in the special, [and he asked if I] would I be interested in giving the love song a try? Trying real hard to suppress my instant imposter syndrome I was like, “Yea, totally I’d be into giving that a shot!” So I read through the story and loved the idea of the dragon mirrored in Marceline, thinking through how they’ve both built up a protective shell, how she grew tough for a reason, but now she can open up and be vulnerable with PB.

From there I wrote the initial demo with the first two verses mostly intact and we went back and forth a few times editing it down into the final version. I recorded the final parts for the show in my little home studio in Seattle.

GS: When you were writing the song, what emotions, thoughts, or ideas were you channeling? Was there any sort of memory of event that you were trying to artistically "catch" or "recreate" with the lyrics or music?

HS: As far as channeling an emotion, generally I’d say just the experience of existing as a human. It can be so hard to open up and be vulnerable. I can remember that feeling even as a young kid—getting really excited about something and having someone completely trash it or look at you like, “Why are you so interested in that? It’s dumb.” [It causes us to grow] a little more weary to share ourselves because we know that hurt and embarrassment. The pain of being misunderstood is something I think a lot of us can relate to. Then having to decide whether to keep sharing those vulnerable parts of yourself or think, “They’re just not going to get it, I’m going to get hurt, so why bother?” and then stop putting yourself out there. You lose a lot with that thick armor though. You might feel protected, but you’re not feeling a whole lot of anything else other than the weight and chafing of it (I had a whole lot of armor-related metaphors that I didn't end up using.).

I struggle with this in songwriting too. I’m not the bolt-of-lightning type. There are pages and pages of cliches, total garbage, bad jokes, and cheesy lines that I have to get through in order to get to something that I am excited to put out there into the world: “Here I did this thing, I know it’s a little (this or that), but I made it... What do you think?” It’s hard to open yourself up to hearing the other end of that question.

I filled about 5 little pocket notebooks just thinking through the story, ideas, and trying to get this song right. I wanted it to feel familiar and honor the past songs of the show ([e.g.,] using the ukulele and referencing a few of the familiar chords from “I’m Just Your Problem”) but also be pretty open and vulnerable and different for [Marceline]. [I wanted to] show that she’s going through some tough emotions but also figuring herself out and growing.

GF: I feel like “Monster” is, at its core, an ode to the “Bubbline” ship. How do you feel about your song being intimately connected to one of the most famous LGBTQ+ relationships in animation? Do you have any general thoughts on Marcy and PB, Bubbline, etc.?

HS: Oh, I’m a total fan girl of Bubbline. The whole story of how Rebecca Sugar and Muto slowly morphed it into this deeper relationship is just great. As a part of the LGBTQ community myself it really means so much to see the representation of characters like yourself portrayed in an intelligent way. Growing up I was too young to fully understand what was going on but I saw Ellen getting cancelled, and [I] heard people around me saying they’d never watch her show again after she came out. That stuff sinks in as a kid and so to have these characters who are not only intelligent, but funny, complex, and unapologetically strong who also happen to be queer is really great. I love that the story here isn’t about their orientation, but that they’re people struggling with how to be open and vulnerable in a relationship.

It feels like something sci-fi and animated shows do so well—to show that ridiculousness of limiting who a person should and shouldn’t love. Marceline is a 1000+ year old half-demon/vampire and PB was born from the Mothergum of an apocalyptic radioactive world, but you’re going to get hung up on them loving each other? It sort of brings it into perspective in a really interesting way.

GF: Do you have any other thoughts about the experience that you'd like to share?

HS: Just how lucky, thankful, and honored I feel to be a part of my favorite show, writing a song for one of my favorite characters. It’s also incredibly cool how the people on the show are so willing to connect and collaborate with their fandom. Everyone [on the production crew] was very open and a real joy to work with.

I’d like to give a huge “Thank you!” to Half Shy for agreeing to participate in this interview; she really was quite amiable! If you’d like to hear more of her music, check out her website and her Bandcamp. You can also follow her on Instragram here and on Twitter here. And of course, here is Half Shy’s awesome video of “Monster”.

[nurvuss]

I Watched the First Episode of Every New Spring 2021 Anime Airing on Crunchyroll

Hey, are you like me, and feeling like you're not getting the most out of your Crunchyroll subscription? Sure, there's stuff on there that you know you like. But whenever I look at the big long list of simulcasting shows, my eyes glaze over and I don't even know where to begin.

I wanted to change my habits and see if there were any shining gems that I should be watching. So, as per the title, I watched the first episode of every new Spring 2021 anime on Crunchyroll. And guess what? There’s a lot of crap! But indeed, there’s some stuff that’s worth your time.

Some clarification: I've only watched shows that began their first season in April 2021.

Backflip!!

Show Link

The Lowdown

As Futaba Shotaro comes to the end of middle school, his interest in baseball has begun to wane. Soon he notices the Ao High Boys Gymnastic Club and becomes enthralled, especially after seeing them perform. Once he learns they're down two members, he chooses to sign up and pursue the art of gymnastics. The club is also joined by Misato Ryoya, a star solo gymnast looking to expand his technique through teamwork.

Our Thoughts

Pretty formulaic shoujo sports anime: you've got your himbo, your thug, your ladies' man, your stoic guy, with Shotaro rounding out the cast as the shy and awkward audience surrogate. It looks wholesome enough, and the choreographed routines employ CG in a way that's quite convincing without being hideous.

Who It's For

Fans of  FREE, or Yuri!!! on Ice, or any similar shows about cute boys who succeed at athletic feats. 

Borscht Rating

Burning Kabaddi

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The Lowdown

Legendary high school soccer star Yoigoshi Tatsuya has given up on sports! That is, until he's blackmailed to join the high school kabaddi team, under threat of his online persona being leaked to the entire school. Although Tatsuya initially writes kabaddi off as stupid, the unexpected happens as he begins to have fun.

Our Thoughts

Kabaddi is kinda like competitive tag, or dodgeball but with your body instead of a ball. Burning Kabaddi is basically the shounen alternative to Backflip!! above, replete with nosebleeds, pratfalls, and dudes punching each other. The main cast don't seem to like each other very much; that probably changes as the show goes on but at first blush it's a dynamic I always find annoying.

Who it's For

Fans of Haikyuu!!? Maybe?

Borscht Rating

CARDFIGHT!! VANGUARD overDress

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The Lowdown

The newest series based on Bushiroad's collectible card game, featuring character designs by the beloved collective CLAMP. Petit middle schooler Yu-Yu just doesn't know how to say no. As his older students dress him in drag to use as live makeup practice, he suffers a panic attack and flees into the streets. After being accosted by a pickup artist, he's befriended by Megumi, who invites him to witness a Cardfight match at the local abandoned amusement park. However, Yu-yu is too shy to tell Megumi he's actually a boy…

Our Thoughts

What an unexpectedly weird concept for a show about a card game. Our hero spends the whole episode in drag, whimpering and simpering at the sight of any conflict. Then they show off the latest series of cards, which all seem to be giant buff knights with names like "Bad Steve" and "Violent Bruce". Your guess is as good as mine.

Who it's For

Cardfight!! lovers, Japanese gender studies majors, or the most desperate fujoshi. 

Borscht Rating

Cestvs: The Roman Fighter

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The Lowdown

The year is 54AD, and Nero has taken the throne as the youngest emperor of Rome. At the bottom of the population, Cestvs is a young slave training to be a colosseum boxer. Reluctant, his only choice is to fight or die.

Our Thoughts

Seeing Nero depicted as a gentle little twink is pretty funny. It's also pretty funny that the central character is named after a Roman boxing glove. The animation style transitions to some very uncanny CG when a major fight takes place, and I didn't like that one bit! This seems like a pretty average tournament anime but with a historical setting. It's currently unknown if any of these dudes are fucking each other. I'm gonna say probably.

Who It's For

The venn-diagram of Greco-Roman history buffs and lovers of tournament series?

Borscht Rating

Don’t Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro!

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The Lowdown:

Hachioji Naoto is a nerdy, introverted student who spends his time studying and avoiding socialising. When pages from the fantasy manga he's drawing fall out of his bookbag, they catch the attention of a younger student named Nagatoro Hayase. Nagatoro begins to tease Naoto for his otaku interests and awkward demeanour, peppered with some suggestive flirting.

Our Thoughts:

What would you do if a younger girl flirted with you? Would you cry? Piss your pants maybe? Maybe shit and cum? Don't Toy With Me… attempts to barely conceal its BDSM fantasy with its comedic elements, but it's incredibly apparent as Nagatoro always wipes away Naoto's tears as a sort of aftercare. It's like a lighter, comedic version of Aku no Hana, but lacking any of the ponderings or danger that made that work so special.

Who It's For: 

People who search Pornhub for "bratty sister femdom".

Borscht Rating:

86 Eighty-Six

Show Link

The Lowdown

The Republic of San Magnolia and the Giad Empire, have been at war for nearly a decade. Using advanced military technology, the frontlines are fought by giant mecha drones called Juggernauts, controlled remotely by Handlers. Major Vladilena Mirizé is one of the military's most talented Handlers in the 1st District, and one who is constantly teased by her peers for the humanity and empathy she shows her squadron. The government line is that drone warfare has kept casualties to zero, but unbeknownst to the public these "drones'' are piloted by 86ers—the lowest class of citizens, forced to live in military internment camps in San Magnolia's 86th District.

Our Thoughts

This is incredibly my kind of thing. We've got a dual narrative being set up here: Vladilena as the kind, reluctant officer of a fascist regime, and the Bad Company-esque antics of her new ragtag squad, Spearhead. The first episode is split pretty evenly between the two, with each story converging at the end as Vladilena "meets" Spearhead for the first time through her comms station. It's an explosive and enticing first episode, and I can't wait to watch more of it.

Who It's For

Fans of Fullmetal Alchemist, Psycho-Pass, Gundam, or any number of anti-imperialist war stories.

Borscht Rating

Fairy Ranmaru

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The Lowdown

In a quiet corner of the city sits Bar F, a modest drinking establishment staffed entirely by five hot young men. Unbeknownst to the general population, these men are a crack team of fairies sent to the human world to gather the latent energy of "attachment". They do this by solving the problems of young women, taking their hearts in the process.

Our Thoughts

Hubba hubba, a little something for the ladies! It's Weiẞ Kreuz with a bar instead of a flower shop, fairies instead of assassins, and some pretty revealing outfits. There's definitely a little Persona 5 inspiration here too, from the punctuating phrase "Take your Heart!" to many of the visual cues. Make of that what you will.

Who It's For

Fans of Weiẞ Kreuz, slash fic authors.

Borscht Rating

Farewell, My Dear Cramer

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The Lowdown

Onda Nozomi was once the star player of her middle school football team. Completely unmatched, she no longer plays as there's no opponent she deems to be on her level. Meanwhile Suou Sumire far outpaces her teammates, causing her frustration. By a twist of fate, these two girls find themselves joining the scrappy Warabi Seinan High School FC as they begin to learn the value of teamwork and friendship.

Our Thoughts

I don't know sports. And I really don't know football. I had to look up what the title meant, and now I barely know who Dettmar Cramer is. I'm really not the best person to judge this, but it seems like a pretty good female-driven sports anime. 

Who It's For

Fans of Ace o Nerae! or other sports manga/anime about those ever burning bonds between young teammates.

Borscht Rating

Gloomy, the Naughty Grizzly

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The Lowdown:

Pitty lives with his pet Gloomy, a massive pink bear. Can a boy and a bear truly get along?

Our Thoughts:

This is a series of minute-long gag episodes in which Gloomy mauls Pitty and blood squirts everywhere. It's definitely meant to be a morbid parody of Sanrio or San-X; it might be a Rilakkuma parody in particular? Gloomy is the kind of thing you might laugh at if it came on in between shows, but it's pretty slight to go through the trouble of putting on.

Who It's For:

Gag anime fans with one minute to spare.

Borscht Rating:

Higehiro: After Being Rejected, I Shaved and Took in a High School Runaway

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The Lowdown

After a night of drinking in Tokyo, slovenly salaryman Yoshida encounters a teenage runaway sitting under a lamppost. She offers to sleep with him in return for letting her spend the night in his apartment. Yoshida refuses her offer but allows her to stay. The next morning the girl, Sayu, reveals she's travelled all the way from Hokkaido, sleeping with random men in return for lodging and money. Feeling responsible for her safety, Yoshida agrees for Sayu to stay indefinitely in return for handling household chores.

Our Thoughts

This is kind of the inverse of Koikimo (see below), but without a scumbag character and from a male perspective. It's not nearly as nauseating as that show, but it's still a fantasy about living with a busty teenage girl.

Who It's For

Libertarians.

Borscht Rating

I've Been Killing Slimes For 300 Years And Maxed Out My Level

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The Lowdown: 

Office lady Aizawa Azusa dies of overwork in her early 20s, and finds herself standing before a lecherous goddess. Allowed a wish as compensation for her untimely demise, Azusa wishes for an endless life of leisure. The goddess reincarnates her as a 17-year-old immortal witch in an RPG-coded fantasy world. Thrilled, Azusa lazes about, brewing potions for her neighbouring villagers, and kills a small amount of slimes each day to supplement her income. After doing this every day for 300 years, she inadvertently finds herself at Level 99. Her peaceful life is soon upended as adventurers and dragons come from miles around to challenge the legendary witch.

Our Thoughts:

I'm not really an isekai fan, and that goes double for series which aren't set in an RPG, yet use RPG mechanics. Levelling up, grinding stats, min-maxing, as if it's a part of the fabric of the setting. I don't get it. I like watching numbers go up as much as the next dork, but I don't need to watch numbers go up in absolutely every piece of media I consume. Just play a fucking video game, Jesus Christ almighty.

I thought this might be setting up a fun series in which a layabout is reluctantly called upon to undertake a dangerous quest, but I don't think that's what's going on at all. When the red dragon Laika wrecks Azusa's house, she transforms into a cute young girl and the two begin living together, teaching each other the pros and cons of hard work and slothfulness respectively. The trajectory of the series might be as laid back as its protagonist in the end, which, ultimately, would be fitting.

Who It's For:

Isekai fans, slice-of-life fans. The twain have met!

Borscht Rating:

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood

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The Lowdown

In alternative history Japan the Meiji Period continued well into the 1930s, and the ongoing Tokugawa Shogunate has brought technological prosperity to the nation through a magical energy source called the Dragon's Vein. Sawa Yukimura runs a bookshop where she lives with her little sister by day, but by night she's an assassin for Nue, the shogunate's secret police. As the terrorist group Kuchinawa deploys transforming beasts in an attempt to topple the shogunate, Nue springs into action with their own abilities.

Our Thoughts

There are a lot of concepts competing here, and a few too many flashy transformation sequences for my taste, but I'm really into it! Nue are made up of sex workers and street musicians, often overlooked and therefore easily able to blend in. There's a supernatural Standalone Complex vibe to how the team operates, and they're almost assuredly on the wrong side. Worth a shot!

Who It's For

Fans of alternate history science fiction, Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex, Demon Slayer.

Borscht Rating

Koikimo: Koi to Yobu ni wa Kimochi Warui ("It's Disgusting to Call This Love")

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The Lowdown

Amakusa Ryo is a womanizing salaryman concerned with nothing but his own base desires. As he slips on the train station stairs one morning, he's saved by the swift action of Arima Ichika, a kind-hearted high schooler. When it turns out Ichika is friends with Ryo's younger sister Riou, he decides she's his soulmate, and begins to pursue her no matter how many times she refuses him. Comedy ensues!

Our Thoughts

Yeah, OK groomer.

Alright look, Korikimo is written by a woman and told from Ichika's perspective, so this is obviously meant to be a lighthearted "older man" shoujou romance. As an older man, all I saw were the adventures of a paedophile and the teenager he's stalking. Fuck off.

Who it's For

There's probably other stuff like this, right? If you like that, here you go.

Borscht Rating

Let's Make a Mug, Too

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The Lowdown

After the death of her mother, Himeno and her father relocate from bustling Tokyo to quiet Tajimi City in Gifu Prefecture. The former salaryman opens a quiet cafe using the remarkable mugs made by his late wife, while Himeno follows in her mother's footsteps and joins the school pottery club. Although her first project ends in disaster, Himeno makes fast friends with the eccentric pottery enthusiasts who make up the club.

Our Thoughts

It's no Eizouken, but I guess it's probably not meant to be. I'm not a big iyashikei genre fan, but if that's your thing, you might enjoy the wholesome non-adventures of three girls trying to make a mug. It's worth noting these episodes are only about 12 minutes long, with the remaining runtime segmented into live action episodes where the voice actresses tour Tajimi and unconvincingly pretend to be interested in Gifu's famous mino-yaki pottery. I think this must be a tie-in with a local tourist board. 

Who It's For

People who enjoy stuff like Aria, actually.

Borscht Rating

OddTaxi

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The Lowdown

In a Tokyo populated by anthropomorphic animals, a solemn walrus named Odokawa spends his nights driving his cab around the bustling metropolis, spending his free time drinking with his pals. Odokawa soon finds his quiet life disrupted by a caper involving a missing girl, some crooked cops, and the animal yakuza. 

Our Thoughts

A deft blend of working class slice-of-life with mystery, cute animals, and striking visual design. OddTaxi might be the sleeper hit of Spring 2021.

Who It's For

Fans of existentialist film noir with absurdist comedy, Polar Bear Cafe, walrus lovers.

Borscht Rating

Osamake: Romcom Where The Childhood Friend Won't Lose

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The Lowdown

Suehiro Maruo Sueharu Maru has his heart set on Shirokusa Kachi, the hottest girl in school. When she begins dating a young actor, Sueharu confides in his childhood friend Kuroha Shida, who's openly in love with him and he rejected in the past. Kuroha suggests the two get revenge on Shirokusa by pretending to be in love. Will Sueharu fall in love with Kuroha for real, making her dreams come true?

Our Thoughts

Give me a fucking break.

Who It's For

I don't know and I don't care.

Borscht Rating

SD Gundam World Heroes

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The Lowdown

The newest instalment of the SD Gundam media-mix franchise. In a world populated by super deform mecha, a burning meteor lands in the middle of Captain City. From it launches a terrible mechanized beast: Naughty Lion. When the police are powerless to stop it, a crack team led by Zhuge Liang Gundam and Liu Bei Gundam sorties to bring Naughty Lion to justice. When the beast stops rampaging, it transforms into Sun Wukong Gundam, a youthful amnesiac mecha horrified at the destruction he wrought. The Three Kingdoms Gundams welcome Sun Wukong into the fold to make sense of this mysterious event.

Our Thoughts

I'm an 80s kid, I know a 30-minute toy commercial when I see one.

No, seriously though, I'm aware of SD Gundam's merchandising—they're cute designs, and I even used to have a bunch of the gum rubber mini figurines. I've played the SD Great War Super Famicom games, they're fun! This is a vehicle to get kids hyped up about the latest toys, which are...based on  a hodgepodge of Journey to the West and Romance of the Three Kingdoms this year? There's even a little SD Guan Yu Gundam with a big long beard!

I kinda wanted to like the idea of a bearded robot, but the mechas are super busy and overdesigned. I guess there's only so much you can do to make your next series of toys bigger and better, so these guys are all decked out in gold accents, capes, horns, and antlers, and half the time I couldn't parse what I was seeing.

I'm so glad I don't have to watch any more of this. 

Who It's For

Very, *very* young mecha fans.

Borscht Rating

Seven Knights Revolution: Hero Successor

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The Lowdown

Long ago, the Dark God Nestra ruled the world through fear. Standing against him were the Seven Knights, seven brave warriors chosen by the Light Goddess Serrass. With their powers combined, Nestra was defeated and the lands returned to peace. Hundreds of years later the wicked Physis Cult seeks to revive Nestra, summoning undead beasts to ravage the countryside. With the Seven Knights long dead, the Granseed Academy has risen to train the next wave of heroes to combat this threat. Using special cards, the students of Granseed are able to call upon the power of the Seven Knights to guide them in battle.

Our Thoughts

As soon as the opening started with its transforming heroes and lovingly depicted weapon cards, I realised this must be based on a mobile game. Indeed, this is based on a free-to-play gacha from Korean developer Netmarble. Even before I was able to confirm this, Hero Successor failed to draw me in, eschewing details on the nature of its world in lieu of a glamourised marketing push for its source material. What's here is incredibly slight, and likely to be of little interest to anyone who isn't deep into this game.

Who It's For

Seven Knights whales, I guess.

Borscht Rating

Those Snow White Notes

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The Lowdown

Sawamura Setsu mourns the death of his grandfather Matsugorou, a talented shamisen player who refused to pass his secrets on. Not knowing what else to do, he leaves his remote village for Tokyo, taking nothing but his shamisen along with him. Soon he finds himself wrapped up in the complicated life of aspiring actress Yuna and her scuzzy rockstar boyfriend Taketo. When Setsu opens for Taketo's band, he stuns the audience with the raw emotion of his playing. However, his heart is still tumultuous. 

Our Thoughts

An entertaining first episode of a speciality music series, which is the kind of thing I have a place in my heart for. I couldn't shake the feeling of some latent misogyny that suggested the role of a woman is to inspire a tortured artist, but I might be wrong. The final few minutes take a twist by introducing Setsu's weird, horny mother who seems to have her own personal SWAT team, and it looks like the series becomes a more conventional high school anime from episode 2 onwards. Don't know about that!

Who It's For

Fans of Kids on the Slope, Sound of the Sky.

Borscht Rating

Tokyo Revengers

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The Lowdown

Former delinquent Takemichi is unsatisfied with the way his life turned out, living alone in a paper-thin apartment and working a minimum wage job under a boss who doesn't respect him. When watching the news one evening, he learns that his highschool sweetheart Hinata was killed, alongside her little brother. On the way to work the next morning, Takemichi falls in front of an oncoming train and wakes up 12 years in the past. Armed with foreknowledge, he attempts to turn his life around and save his onetime lover.

Our Thoughts

This is drawing from a lot of sources; the whole train sequence is lifted straight from Gantz, while the story itself initially seems like a Life on Mars kind of deal. In fact, Tokyo Revengers sees Takemichi jump back and forth between the present and the past, seemingly making small changes until he achieves his desired outcome. It feels like a very video gamey depiction of time travel, and one that's not super interesting.

Who It's For

Steins;Gate fans, maybe? Delinquent manga (Shonan Junai Gumi, Crows, etc.) fans, maybe? It's pretty self-serious compared to any of those.

Borscht Rating

To Your Eternity

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The Lowdown

An immortal being in the form of an orb falls to earth and becomes a stone. Years pass, an ice age sets in, and a white wolf stumbles onto the tundra and dies. The orb, able to take the form of anything that leaves a strong impression on it, transforms into the wolf and slowly learns how to use its newfound ambulatory body. The creature treks back through the tundra where it meets a boy living alone, after the rest of his village left in search of a better life. The boy recognises the wolf as his beloved pet, Johann, and the two begin living together in the harsh, lonely wastes.

Our Thoughts

I'm being a little coy with the synopsis here, and there's a major shake-up at the end of this debut episode. This one's based on a manga by the critically acclaimed Yoshitoki Ooima (A Silent Voice), and it's a depressing, compelling, and exciting start to a series. Lots of potential here!

Who It's For

Fans of NieR, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon, Last Exile, Kino's Journey.

Borscht Rating

So, there you have it. I'm hoping this will be of use to anyone who experiences a similar sense of dread when faced with so many choices. Maybe we’ll do this again during the Summer 2021 anime season.

Also, please don't get mad at me if I'm snarky about your new favourite show! It’s just TV and I'm a big idiot anyway.

[pinkjiminssi]

So.. About That Hickey..

I think I’m still processing all of this and reminding myself I’m not dreaming 🤣 I seriously only got 3 hours of sleep last night and when I woke up the first thing I did was check twitter to be sure this “drunk bridal-style spinning hickey neck biting proudly showing off” moment actually happened!! 

.. I hate the way my brain works though. I was so happy that it took me forever to fall asleep, spent all day on cloud 9 despite being tired, .. and then my old nemesis, anxiety, stepped in. Well kind of. TBH if all of the MOTS ON:E Jikook moments we got happened with Jimin/anyone else or Jungkook/anyone else.. I would seriously be sitting here saying “well fuck.. I believe they WERE a couple, but looking at all of this it seems they are no longer together.” So really, this just confirmed what I already knew about Jimin and Jungkook: they’re a couple. My anxiety is over.. why? Why show us this? If they can cover all of JK’s tattoos, a hickey/bite mark/whatever we’re calling it should be super easy to hide. Sure it was just rehearsal.. but it was rehearsal with cameras rolling with every intention of releasing what was being filmed as future content. It could have (and some might argue should have) been covered.

Guys... I’m confused. And concerned. ❗❗❗ TW for drama, hate, homophobia, the usual anti issues

That “official” explanation.. again.. why? I’m assuming Jimin and Jungkook were asked and allowed to explain because of the chance of it being spotted and armys freaking out, so BH (or possibly even Jikook) thought to get ahead of the speculation by just being up front about it all.. but THAT explanation? I suppose it works for covering up the army panic of “Jungkook has a girlfriend?! *insert fangirl sobbing*” .. but that’s literally all it does (and only barely if you go looking at some of the anti’s reactions to it all). Really, all it did was draw even more attention and speculation. I mean.. this is, essentially, what we were told: Jimin and Jungkook were together the night before drinking, apparently without the other members as they didn’t seem to know all of this already (and they would have if they had been there), somehow hanging out and having drinks turns into Jungkook picking Jimin up bridal style (random but some of the k-army reactions on twitter were translating through google into “princess style” and I just think that’s so cute 🥰), spinning ensues, Jimin gets dizzy and wants Jungkook to put him down, ... and so he proceeds to do the only logical thing that any of us would have done in that situation... biting Jungkook’s neck? And hard enough to leave a mark the next day?? And instead of being peeved about it (like most of us would have been if our friend bit the crap out of us), Jungkook looks happy?? proud even??? 

And they arrived together the next day and continue to be cute and playful? 

I just.. I mean.. come on. First of all.. that’s a hickey. A bite leaves teeth marks. And one would assume a wild, drunken “let me down” chomp would be something that happens suddenly and ends very quickly. I know I for sure would drop someone on their ass if they decided to take a bite out of my neck (assuming I was even picking up and spinning around with one of my friends like that to begin with.. but let’s not even get into why that was going on at this point) .. but the way this bruised? Yeah. There were no teeth involved (at least not hard enough to leave indentations) and this took more than a couple of seconds of mouth-to-neck contact to still be that visible the next day. So.. in short. Jungkook arrives with a hickey, JK decides to not cover it up (or he would have shown up with it hidden and we see him get out of the car that morning with it clearly visible), BH staff sees it and also decides to not have it covered up and actually have it explained... and the explanation is “oh yeah Jimin just bit him, you know.. no big deal hehehe isn’t that funny?” 🤯 WHAT?! Yeah.. that’s totally normal, platonic behavior between adults...

I’m not saying Jimin and Jungkook are lying btw. I have no doubt it played out more or less exactly as they said with the exception of what they’re calling the end result. Jimin and Jungkook are fine.. I mean, what were they supposed to say? They’re not going to show up saying Jimin was sucking on Jungkook’s neck the night before. We’ll probably never know why Jungkook decided to not cover it up before arriving, but it’s his body and he gets to decide. It’s BH that has me so puzzled. Other than antis and people who refuse to see what’s literally right in front of their faces when it comes to Jikook.. who were BH expecting to believe the bite thing? Just among staff and the other members, it’s a laughable but safe “oh of course *wink wink*” explanation that allows everyone to carry on like normal. But to the public who don’t know them personally, don’t know their usual behavior and patterns, and who don’t have something like a non-disclosure agreement or professional courtesy preventing them from openly speculating.. it doesn’t fly. Pretty much everyone teen and up knows what a hickey looks like (either from having gotten/given one or at least seeing one on someone else in person or online). It’s immediately obvious what it is. And even if there was some uncertainty.. that it’s on his neck (instead of other easily accessible and less sensitive/stimulating locations) and just so happens to be right near his mole as it Jimin were aiming for it? Just another “too many coincidences” thing when it comes to Jikook.

Even antis on twitter couldn’t deny what it was and, so, had to resort to the “well I do that with my sibling and my uncle’s pet raccoon all the time it’s just family things” excuse and/or the “yeah well someone ELSE in the group (or a girlfriend) gave him that and they’re just covering by saying it was Jimin.” Oh. And the same old “it’s just fan service” excuse (as if Jungkook would let someone bruise his neck for the purposes of fanservice which, again, BTS has never done or needed to do. Forever pissed off that so many in this fandom act like Jungkook is a puppet doing whatever the “evil company” tells him to do regardless of his personal feelings or boundaries. The man has tattoos covering nearly every inch of his arm despite that being looked down on in Korea. At this point he can do whatever the fuck he wants). So.. why?? Seriously, why? This all could have easily been avoided with simple makeup.

When they’re doing official content they’re all literally followed around by a flurry of staff fixing hair, dabbing sweat, touching up makeup, etc. Even though it was rehearsal, staff were everywhere in the footage that’s made its way online. If they were worried that it would be seen in the background and “taken the wrong way,” just have the staff occasionally touch up the makeup. “Easy peasy lemon squeezy.” But instead of doing the obvious, BH decides to: not cover it, draw attention to it by asking about it and letting them continue to talk about it, go out of their way to get a camera on it, and then include it in the final cut of the content they sent out?

BTS is literally the most popular group in the world right now and BH has become a behemoth of a company that runs like a well-oiled machine. They’re not stupid; this was not a mistake. For some reason they wanted us to see this and, one would assume based on the lack of a more believable explanation, they wanted us to come to the conclusion that we all have: Jimin gave Jungkook a hickey. You know they have teams dedicated to monitoring reactions to content on social media. You know they know the dialog surrounding Rosebowl, Black Swan MMA, the Memories 2020 “almost kiss,” etc. etc. All of this got “jikook,” “hickey” and variations of their names trending for HOURS (in multiple countries and worldwide). 

Out of curiosity, I decided to check the trends at the time of writing this. As of 3 AM CST (about 24 hours AFTER the clips started showing up online), there was still a hashtag trending related to all of this: #FREEJUNGKOOK.. and the tweets being directed toward BH are.. disturbing to say the least:

While I agree that the boys should trend more often based on their talents and music.. what’s going on right now is a homophobic 💩 show accusing BH of “scripting” interactions (rather than.. you know.. Jungkook interacting with whoever he wants however he wants.. the usual “mindless puppet JK” narrative), trying to coordinate the mass sending of angry emails, trying to get people to stop buying paid content, accusing BH of taking advantage of the members.. I mean it goes on and on. And BH know what’s going on right now. They’re seeing the reactions... the good and the extremely negative. And still they let this out. And this is all not even CONSIDERING the mountain of other moments that made the cut on MOTS ON:E. 

(side note, the above pic just oozes happiness and it’s so cute I love it!! 😭)

So.. even though I’ve said it dozens of times already... WHY? W H Y? I’m an anxious person by nature and not very trusting. I believe Jimin and Jungkook and I don’t think they’ve been lying and pretending for “fanservice” all of these years. I respect them both too much as individuals and artists to believe that they would stoop to such tactics just to generate a little more “interest” and revenue. I’m suspicious of BH. BTS doesn’t need fanservice to get attention; literally all of 2020 and 2021 so far has proven that beyond a doubt. Even if they suddenly made the decision to do fs.. why not go with the most popular ship (taekook) or at least one that isn’t so hotly debated on social media (remove Jimin, Jungkook and Tae from the equation and you still have four members to “play” with who have much less potential to have fs devolve into a toxic crap show all over the internet). Showing us this will do nothing to help BTS as a group or Jimin and Jungkook at this point. In fact.. all it can do is hurt. Hurt BH, hurt the group, and hurt the individual members, heck.. even potentially hurt other BH/HYBE groups. I’ve already seen people on twitter saying they’re “done” spending money on anything BH or BTS puts out because they’re “sick of jikook in their faces and just two of the seven hogging all of the screen time.” Whether or not that “spending freeze” actually materializes into anything noticeable remains to be seen of course.. but the threat is there and always has been. What is the motive? And why now? As much as my “hopeless romantic” heart would like to believe they’re preparing us for Jikook to be “out” .. I seriously don’t think that is ever going to happen. Certainly not now at the height of the group’s fame, with them being given Presidential honors and ambassador status, and with military service still looming over them all. And let’s not forget... Korea is NOT a safe place for a queer couple. Letting us see and know what they did through what was released has the potential to put Jimin and Jungkook (and the other members by proxy) in danger. Sure.. BTS has never been hardline rule followers and have been breaking molds and shattering norms from the start, so “officially” having an openly gay couple in the group wouldn’t be impossible.. just... highly highly improbable. Especially right now... and I’m concerned. I don’t want to sound like the creeps I posted a screenshot of above throwing blame at the company. The boys chose to renew their contracts with the for a reason so we have to trust their judgement as a group... but still, I’m worried and I’m questioning what the purpose was here. 

[borathae]

↳ Index [Chapter 24 - The Art of Crumbling]

Warnings: regrets, strong feelings, minor sexual tension lol

Wordcount: 8.2k

Seokjin had opened a website for the diner over the weekend and apparently it was working. People are swarming into the diner like flies. Good for Seokjin as he finally makes enough money to actually put some in his saving accounts. But bad for you and Jimin, who basically break your backs catering to every wish.

You are on your way to work on this cloudy Thursday morning when an unremarkable motel catches your attention. You’ve never really paid any attention to it up until now, it was just a normal good old motel after all. The outside was stuck in another decade and the inside, so you can only figure, probably twice your age. It was nothing to pay attention to really, unlike today when a certain black Harley catches your attention.

You know this bike, you’ve sat on it a million times before and you’ve kissed the owner even twice as much. You stop, studying it from a safe distance. What is it doing here and where’s Jungkook? Also where is Yoongi’s bike? They must be here together after all. That is. What if Jungkook is only here to have sex with a random girl. Fuck and forget, like he so enjoyed to do before he met you.

Jealousy bubbles in your stomach, before confusion replaces it. Why are you so worried about that? You aren’t dating him anymore. Your fingers tighten on your handlebars, look at you being jealous after all those promises of being angry at him for the rest of your days. Why are you like this?

“Oh, shit”, you gasp, making yourself smaller when a room door opens and Jungkook comes outside, wearing his signature black leather pants and a grey tank top. You hadn’t even realised it when you saw him at the gym but his entire left arm is inked up as well. You can’t really make out what it is, but you know that it makes you feel sad. Is that the tattoo you were supposed to get together? Your hand reaches for the drawing in your inner jacket pocket. You promised each other that you would get it together, that you would hold each other’s hands and help each other with treating the tattoo. He stole that moment from you.

You were so lost in your own sorrow that you hadn’t noticed Jungkook’s eyes falling on you and him proceeding to make his way to you until it is too late.

Your heart starts to race. Crap. He wasn’t supposed to see you and now he is too close for you to drive off. You look around in panic. Shit, he is coming closer. Uhm, where to go? There is a tree close to you. Should you hide behind it? But he is so close to you now. What to do? Send help.

“What are you doing here? Are you stalking me?” Jungkook says, brushing his hair out of his face as if he was posing. At least he hasn’t changed that much apparently, still posing like he was the sexiest man on earth.

“I was just about to leave”, you mumble, wanting to start your bike only to be stopped by Jungkook getting in front of it.

“Hey don’t leave, now that you’re here, how about we talk a little?” he says, holding onto the handle with all his might.

“Let go Jungkook, I’m not in the mood to talk”, you grumble, feeling embarrassed about getting caught. You yelled at him for ‘stalking you’ and then you are the one getting caught creeping on him. You feel like a complete hypocrite.

“Fine with me, there’s a queen sized bed back in my room if you wanna let our bodies do the talking instead”, he suggests with a cocky smirk on his lips.

“Are you fucking serious?” you squeak from how taken aback his bluntness made you feel.

He can’t actually expect you to jump into bed with him after all that he has done.

“I am fucking very seriously. I can also be rough and fast or gentle and passionate, all for you baby”, he jokes, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

You scoff at that, feeling yourself grow angry. How on earth did you feel bad for yelling at him? He is obviously fine and here you were feeling like an asshole for four days straight. He is so infuriating.

“Safe that shit, like seriously if I came here to fuck with a coward you would know. Congrats you ruined it”, you spit and turn the keys so your engine springs to life.

“Wait ___ I just made a stupid joke. I’m trying really hard here, I thought it’d make you laugh like it normally did. I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to offend you, please don’t drive away”, he begs, eyes wide in panic.

“Let go, I don’t wanna have to drive over you”, you warn, letting the motor howl loudly.

Jungkook shakes his head, furrowing his brows as he tightens his fingers on the handle.

“No more cocky biker personas I promise, I just wanna talk like we always did, just you and me. Please”, he begs with a pout.

“I said let me go”, you growl, howling the motor again.

Jungkook pouts, shaking his head aggressively. He reaches for the keys before you can, turning your bike off and then pulling the key out of the keyhole.

“Jungkook!” you yell, staring at him with big eyes.

“Talk to me”, he insists, stepping back as you reach for the keys.

“Seriously you’re so childish. Hand me back my keys”, you growl, fishing for him over and over only to grab air every time.

“Get them if you want them”, he says, stuffing them down the front of his pants.

You stare at his crotch with big eyes.

“Are you insane?” you squeal, jumping off your bike to rush to him, “give me my keys. Give me my keys. Hand them to me. Give them back”, you yell, hitting his chest repeatedly.

Jungkook doesn’t budge one bit, he doesn’t even stop you from hitting him.

“Good hit me. Let it all out”, he says, taking a step closer to you.

You raise your head to stare up at him, anger literally spilling out of you as if you were a leaking oil mine.

“You’re enjoying this?”you spit, pushing at Jungkook’s chest so hard he actually stumbles back. He gasps in surprise, cursing under his breath as he tries his hardest to find his balance again.

“How fucked up are you?” you squeal, shaking.

Jungkook straightens up, hand on his chest to rub the spot on which your hands landed.

“Damn girl, since when are you so strong?” he mumbles, eyes big in shock.

“Getting choked to death makes you want to take on a few tricks or two”, you growl, pushing at his chest again, “give me my keys.”

You can practically see Jungkook’s entire aura change. His eyes cloud over with sadness, his lips starting to tremble.

“Fuck ___”, he croaks, he stumbles back, hand on his chest, “I ruined us.”

You pause, furrowing your brows in confusion. Whatever he wants right now, you are not in the mood to fall for it. He is going to start crying again, get you to feel bad for you. Holy shit the thing on Sunday was probably just an act by him to get you to feel all guilty.

“The fuck you on about now? Just hand me back my keys, seriously”, you spit, stretching out the palm of your hand.

“I ruined us. You were never supposed to get hurt. Not in the alleyway and not at the motel, you were never supposed to get hurt”, he says sadly, head hanging low.

You blink, opening and closing your mouth to talk only to fall silent. Did he seriously bring this up now? You study his face. He looks so guilty, so regretful, like he wants hell to swallow him whole and punish him for all eternity. Jungkook raises his head. Your eyes meet. As confused as you look, Jungkook mirrors it with sadness.

“The fuck? Don’t say that”, you hiss, pushing at his chest again.

Jungkook stumbles, reaching for your wrists. He pulls them from his chest, holding them tightly instead.

“I know you don’t wanna hear it, but I fucking hate myself so much for what I did to you. I never wanted to hurt you and yet I did. I’m so sorry ___.”

Is he trying to gain sympathy from you? Is that what this is all about? Hearing an “it’s okay” from you?

“Yeah?” you wiggle in his grasp, soon giving up as you realise that he is still stronger than you. Instead you make him stumble closer to you with a simple tug, challenging him, “And yet you did. You hurt me more than anyone else on this godforsaken earth.”

You shake your arms one last time. Jungkook tightens his fingers around you, pulls at your arms until moving is impossible. He steps closer, making your breath hitch. When was the last time you had such close, intense eye contact with him? Too many months ago.

“I know, fuck I know. Please what can I do to make this right? ___ please what can I do?”

You can’t crumble now, you can’t crumble now, you can’t crumble now. Don’t crumble. Don’t.

“Jungkook come on, don’t be like that all of a sudden”, you say, voice wavering.

"I haven’t been happy in months. I’m constantly crying and I’m having all those night terrors again. I know this is the universe punishing me for what I did to you, and I know that I deserve all of it. I just-", Jungkook steps closer and places your hands on his chest, "-I miss you so much ___", he whimpers, squeezing your hands gently as he fights with his own tears.

"Jungkook", you have to look away, "fuck", you press through gritted teeth, twisting his shirt in order to distract yourself from your own tears threatening to spill.

“When you yelled all those words at me at the gym all I could think is that I deserved all of them. I deserve your hatred and all the curse words you can offer and yet it felt like you were ripping my heart apart. I never wanted you to hate me that much”, he croaks out, having to whimper in order not to cry.

You are crumbling. Falling like an old, weak tree in the strong wind of memories and regrets.

“Please give me another chance. I made the biggest mistake in my entire life when I left you and I know that my stupid jokes before made it look like I just want you back for sex, but I don’t”, he pauses to swallow down a sob, rubbing at his eyes, “I wanna be called your boy again, I wanna make you laugh again, I wanna watch you when you wake up and hold you when you fall asleep, I wanna-“, he sobs, “- I, I wanna take pictures with you and fill my notebook with drawings of your pretty eyes”, he whimpers, pulling you closer until he can rest his forehead against yours, “-I wanna call you my darling again and then watch how it lights up your face so beautifully.”

You force your eyes closed or else you would have cried. You kind of really want that too.

“You’re so unfair”, you choke out.

“I know, but I’m so desperate it makes me selfish”, he whispers, sobbing quietly afterwards.

“Yeah, you really are selfish”, you raise your head, looking at him. Your vision is blurry, your eyes burning. God fuck, even through your tears and with his face covered in them he still looks just as handsome as he did when you first laid eyes on him. God fuck, even after all those months hating him he can still make you feel so incredibly warm in your chest. God fuck, even after swearing to yourself that you will hate him forever you still clutch his shirt as if it was your lifeline.

“You break my heart, leave me for three months and then when I’m starting to accept the fact that what we had is gone you say all this stuff to me”, you say, voice shaky. You try to push him again, but you can’t. Instead you pull him closer until the smell of peaches and honey surrounds you.

“Maybe…”, he lowers his eyes, “…I don’t want you to heal without me.”

You scoff, covering up a sob that would have otherwise escaped your heavy chest.

“So you rather see me unhappy for the rest of my life?”

“Of course not, I just”, he takes a shaky breath, fingers closing around your fists, “I’m selfish and I wanna see you happy with me, not with someone else.”

You look up at his eyes, lips trembling like crazy.

“You are so goddamn unfair”, you croak.

“I know”, Jungkook whispers, abandoning one of your wrists to cup your cheek instead.

“Jungkook don’t”, you say, turning your head away.

“___ please, just one more chance”, he begs.

“Kook just-“, you take a deep breath, “-I’m running late for work.”

“Please”, his voice is merely above a whisper. You scan over his face one more time, before sighing loudly.

“Just meet me at the diner after work, Taehyung’s gonna be there too if you wanna talk to him too.”

This is not what you had wanted to say and yet you did. Jungkook almost squeals, squeezing your wrist before he wiggles his shoulders.

“Yes! I’ll be there! Thank you!” he blurts out, almost bursting in happiness. He reaches into the front of his pants, still smiling like an idiot as he pulls your keys free again.

“Here”, he says, stuffing them into your hands.

You study them with a look of distaste, “why the front of your pants out of all places? They’re so warm now”, you whine, making Jungkook scoff.

“Cause I’m an idiot. Also I can’t help it that my balls are naturally just very hot.”

You snort, before chuckling. You didn’t want to and yet you did.

“You should get that checked out, I don’t think balls are supposed to be hot all the time.”

Jungkook grins, it is playful with his eyes all sparkly and his nose scrunching up.

“I’ll remember it”, he giggles, nudging your arm, “good luck at work today.”

“Uhm I-“, your eyes fall to his lips, heart fluttering. You quickly look away, clearing your throat, “thank you”, you mumble, quickly making your way to your bike.

You drive off before your heart can tell your body to do something you will regret later on. Jungkook is watching you the entire time, even going so far as to wave at you until you are a tiny dot on the horizon.

“Hello? I am talking to you”, Jimin says, waving his hand in front of your face until you blink and look at him.

“What?”

“You’ve been cleaning this same exact spot for the last twenty minutes. You dropped three glasses today and messed up far too many orders. What is going with you?”

“Nothing.”

“You’ve been acting weird ever since you came into work this morning”, he says, resting his hands on his hips.

“It’s nothing. I’m not weird, I don’t know what you’re on about”, you mumble, avoiding eye contact.

“Did Hoseok ask you to be his girlfriend?” he asks in typical blunt Jimin fashion.

“What?” you cough, “no of course not, what the hell?”

“Well, then what is it? Did you ask him to be his boyfriend?” Jimin points an accusing finger at you.

Your face heats up as you look to the side.

“No, I didn’t. Okay? Leave me alone Mister-I-have-hickeys-all-over-my-neck”, you retort, pulling down his turtleneck to reveal his bruised neck.

Jimin’s hands fly to his neck, covering his skin as he starts blushing.

“It’s not what you are thinking”, he insists, eyes big.

“Sure, that’s why you didn’t come home since Wednesday?” you roll your eyes at him, “You’ve been rolling around the sheets with Yoongi lately?”you ask, imitating his voice.

“Okay, you know what? Mind your own problems”, he mumbles.

“Sending that right back”, you scoff in amusement, “but for what it’s worth I met Jungkook this morning and we kinda…talked.”

“Talked? With your mouths or your bodies?”

You send him an icy glare.

“Fun fact, Kook suggested the same thing. You are both horny idiots so it seems.”

Jimin shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, checking his nails.

“Sex is nice what can I say”, he states dryly before looking at you, “in all seriousness though. Is that why you are so zoned out? Did you guys yell at each other again?”

You shake your head, “we didn’t, but I may have told him to come over after work to talk to me and uhm..”, you scratch your neck, “..Taehyung.”

“You did what?” Jimin almost yells, making two of your customers stare at you in confusion.

You look at them, sending them an apologetic smile before dragging Jimin into the back.

“Listen, I don’t know why I did it. He told me that he regrets leaving Taehyung and me, so I thought I could make them talk today. Okay? I panicked”, you hiss.

“And you think Tae would want to talk to him? Doesn’t he hate him?” he whispers.

“I don’t know”, you groan, nuzzling your face into Jimin’s arm, “I just I thought maybe if I told Tae that I was willing to hear Kook out he would be too."

“Okay next question. How are you going to get Tae to come over today?”

“He is coming over anyways. We’re hanging out after work."

“Did you guys fuck?” he gasps.

“Okay, I did not sleep with Taehyung or Jungkook. Is that clear?”

“Guys seriously?” Seokjin appears next to you, “is that starting again? I thought we were over those biker dudes.”

“No listen Seokjin, ___ told Jungkook to come here after work and I’m pretty sure she had sex with Jungkook or Taehyung or both”, Jimin gasps, “oh my god ___ did you have a threesome with them?”

That earns him a healthy slap on the back of his head by Seokjin’s spatula, making him grunt in pain.

“I don’t want this type of language in my establishment”, he warns, “also stop being so noisy Park Jimin. Not when I watched you leave with that broody biker guy on Friday.”

“I knew it! So you weren’t at the beach!” you say, clapping into your hands victoriously.

Seokjin shuts you up real fast with a single cock of his left eyebrow however.

“Guys what are you doing? Why are you giving those men a second chance? They literally screwed you over”, he says, disappointment lacing his voice.

“We’re not giving them a second chance. Listen you wouldn’t get it”, Jimin says.

Seokjin crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“I wouldn’t get second chances? Do I have to remind you of what happened with me and Fleur Connoisseur?”

“That restaurant chain in The Capital? What about it?” Jimin asks, tilting his head to the side.

“I founded it, I created the recipes only to be thrown under the bus by my own wife. She cheated on me, I divorced her and when she came begging to me for a second chance and I granted it to her. You know what she did after? Steal half my fortune and the rights to my own restaurant chain. So believe me I know a thing or two about second chances.”

“Why does everyone in this town have such dramatic backstories?” Jimin mumbles.

“Who else other than the tormented and broken would choose to live in a town like this?” Seokjin states dryly. Jimin tilts his head to the side in a nod of agreement and cocks his right eyebrow up.

“Fair enough.”

Seokjin crosses his arms in front of his chest, “also screw you guys, I literally told you that story before. Why are you so surprised to hear it now?”

“We aren’t surprised, bro I literally held you when you were sobbing for three months straight don’t act like I wasn’t there for you”, you say, pinching his arm.

Seokjin relaxes.

“Yeah I know, but my point still stands. Don’t give those guys a second chance or you’ll regret it. Jimin doesn’t Hoseok have that one very buff cousin whose name is also Hoseok? He would be perfect for you and ___? You’re better off with Hoseok, at least he’s a decent guy and he is rich.”

You groan in annoyance.

“I’m not going to discuss this with any of you guys. I’ll go out there now and serve the customers, who I heard come in right this moment”, you say, stomping off afterwards.

“Wait a minute ___!” Jimin stumbles after you, reaching you when you are out the door.

“Let go of my arm, I’m trying to work here”, you hiss, wiggling your arm in his grasp.

Jimin lets go of you, following after you instead.

“So you really think Kook and Tae are going to talk to each other? What if they don’t want to?” he asks.

“I don’t know-“, you send him a quick look over your shoulder, having to turn your attention to the customers afterwards, “Good morning and welcome to True Fellas. My name is ___ and I will be your waitress for today. What can I do for you?” you say in your customer voice, making sure to smile extra brightly as you hand each of them their menus.

Jimin stays by your side right behind you, sneaking glances at your face like the biggest idiot ever. The customers are clearly confused for a second.

“My colleague’s new here. I hope you don’t mind him watching me like that. He is still learning”, you explain, looking over your shoulder with such a bright smile Jimin knows you are silently telling him to fuck off with it.

“It’s fine, honey can we order already?” the father of the family speaks and a moment later you are busy writing down their orders. Once that is done you thank them with a bright smile, taking their menus and making your way back to the kitchen.

“So? What are you going to do if Tae refuses to talk to Jungkook?” Jimin continues his annoying questions.

“Bro I don’t know”, you hiss, handing Seokjin the order and then going to the front to make their beverages, “I honestly really hope that he doesn’t. Kook misses him a lot and also Tae?”

You look up from the coffee machine to look at Jimin, “he told me that he would love to have Kook and Yoongi as his brothers back, so deep down I think he would really want a conversation with them even if confessing that would hurt his pride.”

 “He told you that?” Jimin leans against the counter, lost in thoughts.

“I mean not directly, but I think he secretly really wants them back”, you confess, scratching your neck.

���So you’re basically just gambling here”, Jimin says, scoffing in disbelief, “someone likes to cause drama.”

“Hey don’t say that, maybe they’ll talk and we will witness a newly blossoming friendship”, you insist with your brows furrowed, “anyway! I have to work now and you? Take care of that girl that came in some time ago.”

“On it”, Jimin says, skipping over to the frowning girl sitting on a single person table and typing away on her notebook aggressively.

Like that you work your time away, chatting whenever there is nothing to do and scurrying from one table to the other when customers wait to be served by you. It is the perfect day. Not too busy but also not too boring, just right. There isn’t one moment you wished to “just be over already”, there is always something to do to distract you, which also brings its disadvantages with it, as you are now made very aware of the fast passage of time. One look at the clock and it is already six.

“Lord give me strength”, you mumble as you stare at the clock, biting on your fingernails.

Jimin appears next to you, “quick question, I just watched Taehyung pull into the parking lot. Was he supposed to come first?”

“What? Tae? Oh no, he was supposed to arrive after Kook”, you squeak.

“Well he is here now aaaand here comes Jungkook too”, Jimin says. Your eyes follow a dark biker on a black Harley roll up on the parking lot.

“Fuck, Jimin come we have to prevent the worst from happening”, you say, grabbing his hand and zooming off with him.

“Jesus, girl slow down”, Jimin whines, stumbling after you.

You rush outside, watching Taehyung get off a bike, you had never seen before, and take his helmet off when you can already see Jungkook roll up next to him. Taehyung had wanted to smile at you, but now he is watching Jungkook climb off his bike with the darkest frown, you had ever seen on a person.

Jimin, who had magically appeared next to you, gasps, “well that is awkward now.”

You send him an angry look, “no shit Sherlock, thanks for your input idiot���, you spit. You tighten your fingers around Jimin’s, “come on lets go.”

“___ hey!” Jungkook calls out, making Taehyung frown even more.

“Jungkook hi, uhm”, you are panting when you finally reached their sides, “Taehyung hi.”

Taehyung sends you the quickest of glares before he looks back at Jungkook.

"___ is he bothering you?” he asks coldly, “want me to punch him?”

“No”, you step between him and Jungkook, “I actually asked him to come over today.”

Taehyung’s eyes grow big, mouth falling open.

“Why did you do that?” he gasps, the first indicator of hurt flickering in his voice.

“I thought maybe you wanna talk to him. You and him and I talking it out, Jimin’s gonna be the mediator.”

“I am?” Jimin gasps quietly, 

“What do you think?” you say, burning up in nervousness as you study Taehyung’s face.

“No? Fuck that dude the fuck? Why would I wanna talk to him?” Taehyung spits, nostrils flaring and fists clenching by his side.

“Taetae I really miss you”, Jungkook tries to join the conversation, only to earn the deadliest of stares from Taehyung.

“Do you want your face bashed in? Is that it?” Taehyung is so close to yelling, he would have jumped at Jungkook if you hadn’t stopped him with a strong hand on his chest.

“Tae calm down”, you warn.

“I just wanna ta-“, Jungkook starts only to be silenced with a raise of your hand.

“Can you give us a moment Jungkook?” you say before you take Taehyung’s hand and pull him away.

You drag him to the dumpsters, hiding behind them so nobody could see you.

“What are you doing? Why are we hiding?” Taehyung asks, looking around with questioning eyes.

“So you wouldn’t go bashing peoples faces in”, you say, poking an accusing finger into his chest.

“He deserves it”, he growls, crossing his arms in front of his body, “I’m so mad at you. Why would you betray me like that? You know I don’t want to talk to him.”

“But Tae”, you say, holding his hands to calm him down, “maybe hearing him out would give you a little closure? He told me that he misses you a lot and that he really regrets leaving you. He just wants to talk to you Taetae.”

Taehyung scoffs, shaking your hands off to cross his arms in front of his chest instead.

“Honestly if I knew you would do that to me I would have just stayed up there and took another day of therapy”, he spits, turning away from you.

“Hey Tae”, you place your hand on his arm, “please don’t be mad at me. I just wanted to help.”

“Who? Me or Jungkook? How on earth is a conversation with him going to benefit me?” he growls, challenging you with a cock of his right eyebrow, “ever thought of that?”

You lower your head, “I just thought that-“

“Yeah you just thought, of course you just thought. You always just think but somehow that never reaches the point where you think about how other people may feel”, Taehyung spits, scoffing in annoyance afterwards, “I don’t want to talk to him.”

“Fine”, you say, crossing your arms in front of your chest, “I get it. I’m sorry. I’ll just talk to him without you.”

“Well, I don’t want that either. You promised me we’d hang out today”, he says, crossing his arms as well.

“Can’t we do this tomorrow?”

“No, tell Jungkook to come over tomorrow and have that friendship date with me that you promised me”, he whines, wiggling himself out your arms. He looks down at you with a big pout, “I don’t want to change my plans and I don’t want to talk to him.”

“Tae come on…”

“No!” he insists with a pout, shaking his head vigorously.

Gosh he is so stubborn. You sigh, massaging the bridge of your nose, “okay fine, I’ll tell Jungkook to come over tomorrow.”

Taehyung doesn’t smile at that, he just nods and grunts.

“Thank you”, he mumbles, still pouting.  

“Sure”, you say, looking everywhere but at Taehyung before you decide that walking back to Jungkook and Jimin would be the best thing to do here.

They are talking when you round the corner, well, having a very heated discussion would be the better word here. Right now Jimin is scolding Jungkook, pointing an accusing finger at him whilst the later just listens with his head lowered and nodding occasionally.

“-and that’s really shitty of you to do. Oh, hey ___”, Jimin stops scolding Jungkook to look at you instead.

“Hey Jiminie”, you greet him, looking between him and Jungkook, “what happened here?”

“Nothing”, Jimin shrugs his shoulders, “I just told Jungkook how I felt about him and Yoongi leaving us.”

You look at Jungkook, who still has his head lowered.

“I imagine that went splendidly.”

Jungkook scoffs, nodding once. Jimin lowers his eyes at Jungkook whilst speaking.

“I just told him what I told Yoongi too. He deserves to hear it.”

“You could have laid off on the curse words a little if I’m being honest”, Jungkook mumbles, earning himself an annoyed look from Jimin whilst simultaneously making you snicker in amusement.

Jungkook raises his head at the sound of your laughter to send you a playful grin only to let his eyes flit over your shoulder instead. You turn around, coming face to face with Taehyung’s chest.

“Tell him ___”, he says, letting his dark eyes flit down to you.

“Tell me what?” Jungkook asks, eyes racing between you and Taehyung.

“Uhm…”, you look back at Jungkook, clearing your throat, “..uuuh… Jungkook would you mind coming over tomorrow instead?” you say, scratching the back of your neck.

“Why? You told me to meet you here today”, Jungkook says, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Well she lied, now scurry off”, Taehyung spits.

“Tae”, you warn.

Jungkook looks between you and Taehyung, outlining the inside of his cheek with his tongue.

“I already planned what I’m gonna say today, what if I forget it until tomorrow?” Jungkook doesn’t want to back off that easily.

“Write it down then”, Taehyung grumbles. You can feel him grab a piece of your hoodie, twisting it in his fingers.

“Taehyung come on”, you warn, which only makes him tighten his fingers on your hoodie even more.

“I don’t have pen and paper”, Jungkook retorts, crossing his arms in front of his chest whilst standing his ground with confidence, “I just wanna talk to you, please.”

“Write it down on your phone”, Taehyung says, hand resting on your side now, “I don’t want to talk though.”

Jungkook’s sighs in exhaustion, closing his eyes for a moment to massage them. When he opens them again they look desperate.

“You know that I don’t have one”, he mumbles.

“Listen man, she told you to meet her here tomorrow so fucking accept it. Don’t think that you can come here after three months and still have a right to order her around. You left her so take the consequences and accept the fact that she dumped you”, Taehyung spits, making you all look at him with shocked eyes.

“Tae”, you gasp, sending him a warning glare. He just shrugs his shoulders, clearly not wanting to back down.

“No he’s right. I abandoned you and now I have to bear the consequences. I’ll go don’t worry, have a nice evening and see you tomorrow”, Jungkook mumbles, hurt lacing his voice. He puts his helmet back on, starts his bike and drives off, but not before letting his tires screech dramatically.

“The fuck dude?” you growl, nudging Taehyung’s chest.

He ignores you, draping an arm around your shoulder instead.

“Want to go now?” he asks, smiling now that he got what he wanted.

You grind your teeth, “fine let’s go.”

Taehyung drives off first. You want to follow him, but before you can Jimin holds onto your arm, making you open your visor to look at him.

“Did you sleep with Taehyung too?” he asks, eyes lowered in suspicion.

“Jimin seriously I told you, no I didn’t.”

“Well, why’d he react like that then?” he asks.

“Cause he is mad I tried to force him to talk to Kook.”

“You’re seriously just friends?” Jimin tries again, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“StoOp”, you whine, growing tired of his constant questioning.

“Tell me ___, I’m your best friend you can trust me”, he insists.

“Jimin, I have to go before I lose Taehyung. Let go of me”, you mumble, shaking his hand off,

“Fine”, Jimin takes a step back, “have fun”, he pouts, crossing his arms in front of his chest as if he was sulking.

Normally you would ask him what’s wrong, but you know what was wrong and you are not in the mood to start this discussion again.

“Bye”, you say instead, driving off afterwards.

You catch up with Taehyung at the next stop sign, rolling up next to him. He signals you to turn left and then drives off already with you following him close by. Your journey takes you up the coast, past the fun fair and the junction leading to the mountain plateau then down the mountain to what only can be described as a little fishing hut in the middle of an empty beach. The sand is black, looking even darker against the gray, wild ocean. You park your bikes at the end of the path and climb off afterwards.

Taehyung walks to you, hiding his hands in the pockets of his pants. He is obviously still tense, it is written all over his body. You aren’t any better off than him, having so much tension in your chest you feel like you are legitimately going to burst. You are so angry at him.

“You like the place?” he asks, kicking an imaginary stone.

“Mhm, yeah it’s pretty. I like the little fishing hut on the stones over there”, you say, pointing at it.

Taehyung turns around to follow your line of view.

“Oh, yeah. It’s pretty neat. Want to go check it out?” he suggests coldly.

“Sure”, you say dryly.

You climb over the rocks in silence, maybe it is because you are too busy with trying not to fall, but you both know that is not the actual reason for the awkward silence. You are both angry.

Under your feet the ocean digs its way through the black stones, splashing water up your clothes ever so often. Taehyung leads, climbing over the rocks without taking a look over his shoulders to check up on you. Then suddenly out of nowhere a big wave hits the rocks, splashing up high enough to drench his face and entire body in cold, salty water.

He yells in shock, coughing dramatically to get the salty water out of his mouth. You break into hysterical laughter, holding your belly as you almost stumble from the rocks from laughing so hard. Serves you right, so you think as you keep laughing at him.

Taehyung snaps around, revealing the full effects of the wave as the water runs down his face, making his black hair stick to his face in wet strands. Your laughter grows, tears collecting at the corners of your eyes.

“Look at you, shit this is hilarious”, you cackle, pointing a finger at him. Laughing like this makes you feel a lot lighter in your chest, the tension is basically falling off with every shake of laughter that courses through your body. Schadenfreude. The German language even has a word for what you are feeling right now. 

“It’s not funny”, Taehyung growls, pouting.

“Yeah it is”, you make your way to him. You use the sleeve of your jacket to wipe his face, still giggling in amusement.

“There all better now”, you say, patting his cheek, “don’t pout, you look prettier smiling”, you have decided to stop sulking, instead you decided on lightening the mood or maybe you are still a little bit salty and annoying him with fake happiness is fun.  

Taehyung scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“Whatever”, he mumbles, turning around to start climbing again.

“What’s his problem? He got what he wanted in the end”, you whisper to yourself, watching Taehyung with your brows furrowed in frustration.

Three more stones and you’ve reached the fishing hut. It is obviously abandoned and the door is gone, revealing nothing much than three broken fishing nets and one bucket with the bottom missing. It smells like rotten fish here, faintly mixing with the strong salty scent of the ocean, surrounding you.

Taehyung sits down in front of the hut, legs crossed and hands supporting his weight as he leans back. You join him on the ground, crossing your legs as well.

“Why are you sulking?” you ask.

“I’m not sulking”, Taehyung answers dryly.

“Yeah you are. Don’t play dumb with me.”

Taehyung sneaks a glance your way.

“No I’m not”, he insists.

You study his face for a moment.

“Okay you know what? Let me tell you something Tae. I’m mad at you too and yet I’m not over here acting like a little child. Either tell me why you are sulking or let it be”, you say coldly, making him look at you.

“Why are you mad at me?”

“Because of how you exploded back at the diner. Those things you said to Jungkook were really uncalled for and mean. I can talk for myself, I don’t need you to throw insults at people in my name.”

“He had it coming, I just said what everyone else was thinking.”

“No, you didn’t. I wasn’t thinking those things.”

“Well, what were you thinking?”

“That I’m really sad that you don’t want to give this friendship a second try.”

Taehyung scoffs and looks away, shaking his head.

“No you weren’t, you were probably thinking ‘oh no now I have to go on that stupid friendship date with Tae and leave my cute Kookie’, admit it.”

“Is that what this is about? You’re jealous?”

Taehyung nods, clenching his jaw.

“Why?” you chuckle breathlessly, “I’m here with you now aren’t I? What’s there to still be jealous about?”

“You talk to Jungkook and agree on a conversation behind my back, you force me to talk to him and get all angry when I’m mad at him. You are just pitying me that’s why you are here now, cause you feel bad.”

“I’m not pitying you, how often do I have to tell you?” you spit.

“Yeah you are. You just felt bad because you saw how sad I got because of your betrayal and didn’t want to come off as a bitch.”

“Wow, calling me names? How mature of you”, you growl, turning your back to him.

Taehyung studies you for a moment, body starting to shake from all the emotions coursing through him.

“I, I wasn’t calling you a bitch. I just meant that-“, he groans in annoyance, grabbing a big bundle of his own hair to twist it painfully, “-fuck, I’m such an idiot. You must hate me so much.”

It makes you angry, the way he wallows in self-pity. You whip around, ready to snap at him only to shut up instantly.

“Just stop-“, you bite down on your tongue to stop the anger from escaping. You take a deep breath, closing your eyes for a moment to find your chill again. This is his brain being a bitch and telling him things that aren’t at all like they are. He got like this a lot in the old days, his brain started filling his heart with mean lies until he believed them and got so scared he exploded in anger. You shouldn’t be mad at him.

When you open your eyes again, Taehyung is looking at you with a frown and panic burning in his eyes.

“Is that how you are feeling?” you ask calmly.

“Yes”, he answers quietly, nodding.

You scoot closer to place a hand on his knee, squeezing it gently.

“I’m not pitying you Taehyung and I don’t hate you. I’m just a hopeless romantic who thought forcing you into a talk with Kook would work. I should have talked to you first before arranging a meeting with him, because you mean a lot to me and I would never willingly want to make you feel like you and your feelings aren’t important to me”, you say, caressing his knee the entire time you are talking.

“Then why did you do it in the first place?” he asks, gnawing on his lower lip.

“Because-“, you exhale loudly, looking out at the ocean, “-I’m a selfish bitch that’s why. You became one of my dearest friends and I love hanging out with you and I’m scared that if I decide to give Kook a second chance I’d lose you. So I thought maybe I should force you to your luck, but I see now that this was wrong of me to do. I wasn’t trying to hurt you believe me and I’m sorry. I really am.”

“Do you mean that?” he asks, eyes racing over your face.

“Yes I mean that”, you send him an encouraging smile.

“It hurt me”, he mumbles.

“I know and I’m sorry that I hurt you”, you confess, caressing his knee.

“Okay, apology accepted”, Taehyung lowers his eyes.

He looks at you for a moment before he scoots closer to you. He wraps an arm around your middle, cheek resting on the crown of your head. You are tense for the briefest of moments, not knowing how to react to the sudden body contact.

“Is it okay for me to hug you?” he asks, fingers caressing your sides softly.

“Yeah, it’s okay”, you say, resting your head on his chest.

It is really nice to feel another warm body pressed against yours, especially with the cool wind brushing over your skin and especially when that body smells like lavender and violets.

There in the distance an old fishing boat sails past you. You can count three fishermen scurrying around on it, all three dressed in bright red coats and floppy straw hats. They must return from a long day of work. Were they successful or did their buckets stay empty today? Judging by the loud laughter echoing over the waves you figure it must be the first outcome. They will probably come home today to their partners and children, put the fish and seafood on their grills and have a jolly good time until late into the night. Oh what a lovely way to end your day.

“Can I ask you something?” Taehyung says.

“Sure.”

“Why do you believe in my capability to forgive so much? Not even I believe in myself that much.”

“Because I know you Tae. You hated yourself so much that you thought you deserved all the pain and loneliness”, you look up at him, “but you learned to forgive yourself. You forgave yourself for all the times those sad thoughts came and you ended up wanting to drown them out with those pills, you forgave yourself for making human mistakes, you forgave yourself for not being yourself for quite some time. You forgave your worst enemy and actually started to love him and I think that’s really awesome of you.”

“You’re going to make me cry, don’t say that”, he murmurs, blinking quickly.

“I mean it Tae”, you say softly, squeezing his side, “I’ve watched you forgive yourself, so I know how capable of forgiveness you are. And I’m sure if you gave that talk with Kook a chance it could be really healing for you too.”

“I don’t know”, Taehyung leans on his hands again, stretching out his legs.

 “He really regrets leaving you Tae and he misses you a lot, like a very, very lot. Why don’t you join us tomorrow and talk it out with him too?”

"Because I don’t want to talk to him tomorrow and”, he looks at you from the corner of his eyes, “this is your conversation.”

“Really? I don’t wanna make you feel like I am going behind your back, seriously you can join us I have no problem with that.”

“No, it’s fine with me. Just talk to Jungkook tomorrow, hear him out and then report back to me. Maybe then I’ll think about that talk.”

“Are you sure? Again I have no problem with you joining us and Kook would like it a lot too.”

“I’m sure”, he says, looking at you with an honest smile on his face, “The only thing I’m really worried about is that I’m going to lose you again”, he lowers his eyes, “you became one of my dearest friends too and I love being with you, but”, he takes a deep breath, “I know how Jungkook can get, especially when it’s me getting close to his girl. I’m just scared that if you go back to him I end up with nothing in the end, because you don’t want to ruin your relationship with Kook by staying friends with me.”

“I promise you I won’t let it come to this. I like you a lot Tae and I don’t wanna hurt you”, you say, never having meant something as much as this, “Our friendship is really important to me and you helped me a lot in those past three months so I will never want to give you up.”  

“You promise?” he looks at you with big puppy eyes.

“Yes I promise you”, you nod your head and nudge his knee playfully, “I mean I did choose our friendship date over the conversation with Kook.”

Taehyung starts blushing, eyes flitting to the ground.

“You did, true”, he smiles shyly, nose scrunching up, “I didn’t even realise that.”

You both look back out at the ocean, sighing in content simultaneously. Another fishing boat drives past, one lonely fisherman with a yellow jacket and matching hat. He doesn’t look as happy as the other fishermen you saw.

“What do you say to my new bike?” Taehyung breaks the comfortable silence.

“Dude it’s really cool. I like the chrome rims you chose. Since when do you have it?” you say.

“Since yesterday. I bought it at a garage in the town where I have my therapy. I actually saw it two weeks ago and decided to buy it yesterday.”

“Where’d you get the money from?”

“Well…” he chuckles nervously, scratching the back of his neck, “I may still have a couple of bucks saved up from, you know, uhm…”

“Drug money?” you cock an eyebrow at him, “dude, no joke.”

Taehyung’s face basically becomes a tomato, eyes racing from side to side nervously.

“In my defense I did earn that money so it’s not like I stole it”, he says, raising both of his arms in defense.

“I mean..I guess..” you say, scratching your chin before having to laugh, “I can’t believe you bought a new bike with drug money. You’re really one of a kind Kim Taehyung”, you chuckle, sending him a playful grin.

Taehyung returns it, cheeks still blushing.

“How much money do you still have?” you ask him to which he shrugs his shoulders.

“Not that much. Maybe ten grant?”

“Ten grant? You call ten grant not much?” you squeak, eyes growing twice in size, “what the frickedy frick frack?”

“In the grand scheme of things ten grant aren’t much”, he says, playing with his hair nervously, “but can we not talk about that anymore? I don’t want to like be associated with that lifestyle anymore.”

“Sure I get it”, you say, leaning back so you would be resting against his chest again, “but you do know that you need to buy me at least three cheeseburgers, now that I know that you are basically rich?” you joke, making Taehyung laugh.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll pay for you damn food”, he grins and wraps his arm around your shoulder.