#I poured my heart into this omg im sorry

[rafecameronsslut4ever]

CASUAL pt.2— lando norris (angst)

pairing; fem!reader x lando norris summary: it took lando too long to realise it wasn't just 'casual'. warnings: a LOT of angst, toxic relationship, sexual implication, not proofread a/n: casual part 2 was not really a part of the plan but the audience had demands 🦧also i think this was too long lmao. AND IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG DELAY OMG

part 1 - casual

miami grand prix: the biggest pr nightmare for every driver—especially lando norris.

the media had been all over him that weekend, going to the lengths of literally calling him 'the hottest catch on the single market'. hollywood stars and instagram models were so desperate to marry him and have his kids that they didn't catch on the fact that he was a 23-year-old racing driver who couldn't give a fuck about them.

because he was stuck on you.

for weeks, he'd waited—hoping you’d reach out, or at the very least, watch his instagram stories. he posted shirtless photos, sun-kissed photos—hell, he even threw out a thirst trap just for you. But you didn’t take the bait. you didn't take the fucking bait.

you hadn't texted him or spoken to him since the moment you walked out of that hotel room weeks ago, so he didn't try to reach out either. "would've been a blow to my ego," he'd told sainz.

but now, he didn't give a shit about his ego. he was tired of waiting.

his eyes darted across the packed club, friends and guests scattered all around. he couldn't wait to get out of there.

he hadn't been drinking. didn't really feel like it. truth be told, he hadn’t been feeling much of anything at all.

pool parties, clubs, yachts, champagne and girls.

he was tired of the glitz and glam of his life, and you were the only escape from it.

but you were gone.

his mind wandered to that morning, when you had kissed him and the two of you had ordered room service. when he had held you for the last time.

he hated how the only thing on his mind was you. how it was the only thing on his mind all through the celebrations, as hookers danced around him and people tried to pour drinks into his mouth.

for fuck's sake, he had won a grand prix for the first time in his life, and yet he was unhappy.

how did he get here?

he looked up, eyes falling on a group of men in the VIP section, the lights illuminating their faces.

everyone could tell something was off with lando. he didn't want to do any of this.

all he wanted was you. you, you, you.

the girl who had left without an explanation.

why had you left, anyway? no calls, no texts. your friends avoided him, and you avoided his friends. it was like the two of you were nothing.

lando norris was many things, but he was not a fool. he could recognise when something was wrong, or when a situation had escalated beyond his control.

he knew that there was a reason why you left, but the reason never clicked in that thick brain of his. what had he done wrong? where had he gone wrong?

"i'm not feeling too well, mate." he muttered, handing the beer bottle back to the guy standing next to him.

okay, maybe not admitting his feelings for you had fucked things up. but, what could you expect? he didn't have the time to give you what you deserved.

not right now, at least.

lando norris had the world on his fingertips. he could have any girl he wanted. anyone, really.

"what are you waiting for, then?" the other man asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"what?"

"just call her, bro. i know it's about a girl because there's no way any sane man would say no to expensive beers and a million hot hookers."

did lando even know this man? probably not.

"i can't call her. she doesn't want to talk to me. trust me, i've tried."

"have you?"

he didn't know how to deal with rejection. not like this, not with you. you weren't supposed to leave.

"judging by your sulkiness, i doubt you're going to find a girl like her again. and you'll never have her if you're here."

lando didn't have a heart of stone, as much as his social media persona might suggest. he didn't care for any of this. the women, the money, the fame.

he wanted to hold you again. kiss you, tell you he loves you. he wanted to hold your hand. he wanted to be near you, and only you.

so, when his feet hit the floor and he found himself walking towards the exit, he wasn't surprised.

yeah, it was foolish of him to leave a party full of women who were celebrating him (literally) for a girl who had ghosted him, but the need was stronger than his pride.

out of the yacht, he was dialling the only number he'd ever memorised. the phone rang, and then it rang again.

would she be wearing his clothes, or would she have gotten rid of everything related to him?

maybe she'd found another man, finally realising that lando was a bad investment.

as the phone rang, you were hidden in your apartment with blankets wrapped around you and a youtube video playing in the background.

it had been months since you'd heard the word 'casual' leave his mouth. months since you had fled london and monaco to move to miami.

at first, his words had echoed in your mind constantly, and you'd cried yourself to sleep a few times more than you'd like to admit.

but just like every heartbroken poet in history, the hurt faded and the pain slowly morphed into hatred. and anger.

you wanted to slam your head against a wall. scratch that, you wanted to slam his head against a wall.

it was so stupid, and you hated yourself for believing he'd been genuine.

it was just sex. that's all it ever was. it truly was just casual.

the phone was still ringing. your finger hesitated over the answer button. you weren't going to answer it.

it wasn't worth it. you didn't want to hear his voice. didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing that his words had hurt you. you didn't want to know if he was sleeping around, if his girlfriends were prettier than you.

so the line went dead.

lando stood by the harbour, watching as yachts and ships sailed past him. the air was humid and his t-shirt clung to his body, the heat almost unbearable. the sound of waves, the distant laughter and music, and the sound of his ragged breaths.

he ran his fingers through his hair, looking around. where was his car?

he had to find his way back to his hotel. he was a mess, and his clothes were sticking to his skin. he needed to fix his appearance, buy a bouquet a flowers.

he checked the time on his watch, and cursed as he saw the numbers. it was almost 3 am. he wouldn't find flowers anywhere at 3 am.

"fuck it." he said, running over to his car. the drive was quiet, save for the low hum of music and his occasional swearing when someone drove a little bit slower than he'd like.

lando norris had the world on his fingertips. he could have any girl he wanted. anyone, really. but he only wanted you. he was a hopeless romantic, and you were his muse.

when he pulled up outside the apartment, his nerves were going haywire. he ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath before getting out of the car.

he knocked twice on the door and when it opened, his eyes lit up.

you stared back at him, sleepiness in your eyes and confusion etched on your face.

and god, did you look gorgeous.

he loved you, he realised. he had to cross his hands behind his back to stop them from reaching out and holding you close.

"lando?" you breathed out.

he had grown a slight stubble since you last saw him. his hair were still the same, except a little bit longer. his blue eyes were wide as he looked at you.

"hey," his voice was shaky.

"what the fuck are you doing here?"

he wanted to say so many things. ask you why you left, where it went wrong, why you moved to miami. he wanted to declare his love for you, press his lips to yours, hold you by the waist. he wanted to hear you say that you loved him too.

he was so in love with you, and you had no idea.

"lando? why are you here?" you asked again.

he was at a loss of words. what could he say? he couldn't exactly just stand there and say nothing.

"because," his voice cracked, "i miss you."

your throat went dry. he could not just say that.

it had been weeks. weeks of him not contacting you, weeks of you not speaking to him. the phone calls had stopped, the text messages had stopped, the late night chats had stopped. everything was just gone.

and now, he missed you?

tears welled up in your eyes, a lump forming in your throat. you shook your head, pushing back the tears, "go away."

"what? no, wait. wait. don't do this." he pleaded, his voice fragile and desperate, like a child trying to avoid bedtime.

"lando-"

he interrupted you, voice louder than before. "can we please talk about this?"

"what is there to talk about?" you were raising your voice. you hated him. how could he act like this after all that happened?

"everything. just—please, can i come in?" he sounded so pathetic. he felt so pathetic. his hands were slightly hovering over the door, ready to push it open and walk in.

the request took you by surprise. "i-no."

you missed him. there was no denying that.

you wanted him to tell you it was okay. wanted to go back to that night in his mclaren, the night he told you he liked you. wanted the weekends spent in london with his family. you wanted him, all of him.

his curly hair wrapped around your fingers, blue eyes staring at you, soft lips kissing you. his cold hands grabbing yours, and his voice saying your name. you wanted it to not be casual.

"i just want to talk to you."

he was drunk. there was no other way he would've showed up here, let alone begged to talk to you. the fact that he needed to be drunk to have this conversation made your blood boil.

"do you still have my jacket?"

of course, you still had his stupid jacket. the one that had his smell embedded into the fabric. it was an exclusive print mclaren had given him, and he had swung it around your shoulders after the night you had first made love to each other.

but he didn't care about the jacket, and neither did you. it was just a reminder.

you were silent for a while, taking in the sight of each other. it was his breath mingling with yours.

"i love you." he whispered.

your breath hitched in your throat, the tears finally falling out of your eyes as you sighed.

"i love you," he repeated to himself. "yes, i do. and i've known that since the day i met you."

you choked back sobs as you shook your head, "you're drunk, lando."

"i'm not," he chuckled, "maybe a little, but not enough."

then, he added, "i mean it. i love you." his voice was steady. he truly meant every word. but he didn't know what would happen now.

"what do you want me to say, lando?"

he sighed, "anything."

you laughed bitterly. anything, he said.

anything would've been better than what had happened.

"i don't think i can do this, lando."

"we can take it slow."

"you've never done slow."

he fell silent again because you were right. he'd never done slow. he didn't know how to take things slow. he was a fucking formula 1 driver, after all. slow wasn't something he did. he'd always lived life like it was the last day. and that's how he had lost you.

"i'm sorry," he began, his voice breaking. "i should've been a better person. i'm sorry for everything i did. i should've given you more, i-i should've loved you more, because you deserve so much more. i'm so, so, sorry."

"lando," you whispered, "it's not—"

"don't make excuses for me, please. i love you, i realy do. and if i have to spend the rest of my life proving that, i will." and he meant every word. "i just want you back."

your mind was racing, a million thoughts running through it. it was like a movie. his blue eyes, his voice, the desperation in his tone, the way he stood before you.

"okay," you muttered.

"wait, okay? does that mean—"

"you're gonna have to work for this," you said.

"i know, and i will. i promise."

you sighed, rubbing your temple. this wasn't a good idea. "get in."

lando's face lit up, and before you could change your mind, he had walked into the apartment. he hadn't really been here before, considering you moved here after the two of you had stopped talking. but the apartment was lovely, homely. everything you.

you closed the door behind him, watching him look around the living room.

"how'd you know where i live?"

he chuckled, turning to face you. "i'm a famous driver. i have my sources."

"i'm sure." a tense silence followed, neither of you knowing what to say.

"i'm not letting this happen again," he blurted, "i'm not. i don't know how, but i won't."

"i don't believe you." you scoffed.

"fuck, baby, what do i have to do for you to believe me?" he stepped towards you, closing the distance.

"stop calling me that."

"you are my baby." he tried to joke.

"lando, i'm not joking."

"i'm serious too," his voice was sincere, "i love you, and i'll do whatever it takes for you to believe me."

you had been through a lot together. the highs, the lows. you had seen him at his best, and at his worst. the good and the bad.

he moved closer, reaching a hand out to hold yours. you didn't know why, but the moment his hand touched yours, it was like a switch had flipped inside of you.

you let his hand wander over yours like a ghost, his calloused fingertips tracing over your knuckles. he intertwined your fingers together, eyes casted down.

"i've never cared about anyone the way i care about you." he admitted in a soft voice.

and then he pressed his lips to yours. his other hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

and god, did he taste the same. lando had a way with his lips. it was a talent. he kissed you like he needed your lips to survive. he was desperate for your touch as if he had been starving without it.

you were so lost in the feeling that you hadn't realised how far you had pushed him until the back of his knees hit the couch, and he fell on top of it.

his eyes were wide, mouth hanging open. his shirt was halfway unbuttoned, exposing his chest and toned abs.

the two of you stared at each other, eyes searching the other's.

"i love you." he murmured for what seemed like the hundredth time that night.

maybe it was the way his blue eyes bore into yours, or the way his lips quivered, or maybe it was the fact that he had driven across the city to say this.

but for the first time that night, you believed him. suddenly, the anger was gone. it was all gone.

"i love you, too." you whispered.

it was the only thing the two of you needed. the confirmation, the reassurance. the love.

you leaned down and connected your lips once more, hand reaching up to his curls and tugging lightly. he moaned into the kiss, pulling you on top of him.

your tongue entered his mouth, the taste of him making you lightheaded. his hands roamed over your body, the feeling of his skin against yours.

"baby," he whispered between kisses, "i want you so bad. i've waited so long."

his lips trailed along your jaw and down your neck, sucking marks into the sensitive skin.

"i want you," he murmured against the crook of your neck, "so fucking bad."

but he pulled away, flipping the two of you over so he was on top of you. he took off his shirt, and rested his head on your chest. he cleared his throat, "i should've asked this question earlier, but are you single?"

"yeah." you chuckled, running a hand through his curls.

"so, can i be your boyfriend?"

"lando norris," you hummed, "did you finally get the guts to ask me out?"

"yes," he smiled, lifting his head up to look at you, "yes, i did. will you be my girlfriend?"

"you're a dork."

"that's not an answer."

"yes," you laughed, "yes, i'll be your girlfriend."

lando grinned, and you grinned back.

it wasn't casual anymore.

(u guys im so sorry if i've tagged someone who doesnt want to be tagged i just had no idea how to let non-followers know part 2 is out bcs tumblr is not letting me reply to comments😭if anyone wants their tag removed, feel free to dm me!! i hope u liked this) @oscarpiassrri @meglouise00 @f1fantasys @technicallypleasanttree @ggaslyp1 @obxstiles @nataliambc @prudyhoo @idkwtdwml123 @ushygushybaby @emilyroxy @yootvi @fishingarden @pillowprincess4him @herexpertcollector

[nsingcat]

ON REPEAT! C, LECLERC.

summary ✶ fans take notice when charles keeps streaming this underground singer’s two newest songs.

pairings ✶ charles leclerc x underground singer!reader

faceclaim ✶ jueun lee

notes ✶ i am the worst at summaries anyway- i hope you enjoy! i used many artists music for this (for specifics, check the end !). also ignore the fact that their relationship seems kinda fast, lets just act like a time skipped happened !1!1

#INSTAGRAM: YOURUSERNAME !

liked by user, user, user, and 10,636 others!

yourusername in the (home) studio (´△｀) ♪ 🎧

view comments

user YN NATION ARE WE READDYY

user IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE.. TURN IT UPP 🗣️

user OH MY AGEHEHE

user IS IT AN ALBUM? EP? SINGLE??

➥ yourusername eyee don’t knowww ¯\(◉‿◉)/¯

➥ user AHHHH

user pretty girl making pretty music ☹️☹️

user I USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THIS 🙏🏼

user we better get a tour announcement with this song/ep/album 😤

➥ yourusername i don’t think i’m big enough for that yet (゜-゜)

➥ user DOESN’T MATTERR

#INSTAGRAM: YOURUSERNAME !

liked by charles_leclerc, user, user and 11,536 others

yourusername i hope everyone enjoys my two new songs every summertime & h.s.k.t ft wonstein off of my upcoming album, love yn coming 09.02.2024 ᡣ𐭩

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user YOUVE DONE IT AGAIN MOTHER!!

user HSKT IS ON REPEATTT

user BABY ILL GIVE UP EVERYTHING TO TRY AND CHANGE YOUR MINDD 🗣️

user ALBUM ANNOUNCEMENT + TWO SONGS OFF OF IT 😵‍💫😵‍💫 WE’RE BEING FEEEDDD

user september needs to hurry up wtf

user did anyone else notice that charles leclerc liked and unlike this post??

➥ user YEAH

➥ user what does he know about MY queen 🤨

➥ user RIGHT LMFOAOA

user talented brilliant incredible amazing show stopping-

user i am NOT sorry for the person i’m gonna become after this album

#TWITTER: FAN ACCOUNTS !

#INSTAGRAM DMS: CHARLES & YOU !

#TWITTER: FAN ACCOUNTS !

#INSTAGRAM: YOURUSERNAME !

liked by charles_leclerc, user, f1 and 342,638 others!

yourusername congratulations to ＠charles_leclerc for winning monza!! i had a blast being there today! p.s, thank you for the dinner ᡣ𐭩!

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user THIS IS THE GIRL CHARLES HAS BEEN LISTENING TO?? GORGEOUS OMGG

user all these f1 fans.. 🤺 GET BACK I SAY 🤺

user HE TOOK HER TO DINNER?? OH MY GODD

user he looks so good in that photo wowza

charles_leclerc As my lucky charm, you are now forced to come to every race until the end of the year. ❤️

➥ yourusername would there be more dinner dates?

➥ charles_leclerc Of course! Maybe even more?

➥ yourusername then i accept your offer, mr leclerc ! (>ω^)

➥ user JUST DATE ALREADY OMG

user okay can yall date now or whatever

user can’t believe my queen isn’t nugu anymore 💔

user all these people in her comments.. yall better stream her album when it comes out 🤨!!

user did yall see the way he stared at her when he was on the podium??? NGNGNNGN

#INSTAGRAM: YOURUSERNAME !

liked by charles_leclerc, user, user and 566,234 others!

yourusername my debut album ‘LOVE, YN’ is out now! I really poured my heart and soul into this album & I hope i was able to convey that. i wish you all enjoyment while listening to this album ᡣ𐭩!

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user not you copying album of the year omgg

user AND JULY IS THE BEST SONG OFF THE ALBUM

➥ user not when round and around is right there!1!1

➥ charles_leclerc lovesick stole that spot I’m afraid!

➥ user WHATATAGSG

user THIS PHOTOSHOOT?? MOTHERR

user this is best album ever released i do NOT care what any of yall say

user HAPPY LLOVE YN” DAYY

charles_leclerc Absolutely fantastic Ma Cherie ❤️

➥ user ma cherie… don’t couples call each other that !2!1??

➥ yourusername thank you charlie ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )

➥ user CHARLIE??? OH YALL KNOW WHAT IM THINKJNN

user charles being a lovesick truther iktr !!!

user you’ve come so far… *sniffs* i feel like a proud mother omg

#INSTAGRAM: CHARLES_LECLERC !

liked by yourusername, user, carlossainz55, and 953,621 others!

charles_leclerc God, I’m so lovesick, what have you done to me? ＠yourusername.

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user i fell to my knees

user IM GONNA CRASH OUT?:?/!2?

user SHES SO CUTE WTAF

yourusername i’m glad i answered your embarrassing dm that day :D

➥ charles_leclerc HEY! you said I didn’t have to feel embarrassed??

➥ yourusername oops uh

user USINGN LOVESICK AS THE CAPTION CHARLES YOU SICK SICK MAN 💔

olliebearman mama y papa !

user HER CAT 😔😔

user charyn pls never die 💔🙏🏼

user idk if i wanna be her or him

ferrari welcome to the family yn !!! (pls sign my cd of ur album 🙏🏼🙏🏼)

➥ yourusername got it admin (・ω<)!!

user i cannot believe this

user THEYRE LITERALLY SO CUTE I CANT 💔

nymphia talks. artists music i used for yn’s discography! i hope you all enjoyed the fic <3!!

lee hi — h.s.k.t ft wonstein, only

NIKI — every summertime

yves — diorama

yukika — neon 1989

youra — rawww

seulgi — anywhere but home

yerin baek — ms delicate

beabadoobee — the perfect pair

2xxx, miso — girl, interrupted

heize, dean — and july

jo yuri — round and around

laufey — lovesick

[starlightazriel]

glass heart

desc: fem reader mated to azriel short one shot/drabble based on this request

warnings: ANGST, death of a child/stillbirth, time jumps

a/n: i received this request last night and my fingers were ITCHING to get it out omg i hope you enjoy the angst as much as me ! masterlist

wc: 1.5k

Drowning in the dry air.

Like all of the breath had been completely sucked from your lungs.

There was no sound, you couldn't hear anything, despite the cries and screams coming from your mouth you couldn't hear it. You couldn't hear what Azriel was saying as he held your arms in place, they were all trying to, but you needed your babe. You needed your beautiful baby girl. She was blue, wrapped in linen, not a breath, not a cry... Nothing. It was as if she had taken everything out of the world with her, any bit of happiness and light that you'd ever felt, she put it out, with her blue little body. Born like that, not a coo nor a wail.

You had failed. You failed yourself, you failed Azriel, you failed the beautiful baby and the family you were supposed to have with your mate. Your ears rung, the sound from the room eventually dialing in, none of them mattered, because they weren't your babe crying.

"Baby look at me, look at me," Azriel begged, pleaded with you to do anything besides scream. Feyre was holding the babe still, looking frightened of you as she stared back at you clutching your cold baby to her chest. "Calm down," Azriel continued to beg, anger ripped through you. How dare they. You needed to say goodbye.

"Give me my baby girl," you shrieked, your voice echoing through the room, she slowly advanced, placing the babe in your arms. You stared down at her face, blue, never able to take her first breaths. Her tiny wings took your breath away, another sob broke through you. Everything hurt, there was so much blood everywhere due to the complications, but no amount of physical pain you were feeling could compare with the hole that was now in your chest, marked onto you for life, never to be filled. You were lucky to even be alive, but you wished to be dead, how could you live with yourself anymore? Another sob ripped through your chest as you rocked and rocked, holding her to your chest.

"Y/n," Azriel pleaded with you desperately, his eyes were clouded, but his tears didn't fall. You ignored him, nothing mattered, you couldn't breathe, your heart was shattered... Gone.

"I'm sorry, Im sorry, I'm sorry," you sobbed over and over again, kissing the babes head, your little daughter, gone before you could even have her

-

You shook softly as Azriel poured the water over your head, washing away the soap he had put in your hair. He hadn't left your side for even a second, he hated how you were blaming yourself, how you refused to accept any other reality besides the one that involved you completely destroying yourself. Azriel carefully lifted you from the tub, setting you down on the small bench and carefully drying your body. He knew your knees would give out the moment he tried to make you stand. He pulled your nightgown over your head and scooped you up in his arms again before he carefully laid you back on your bed.

Sobs racked through your body, you rocked and rocked, Azriels shadows held you, caressed you. He sat in the chair by the fireplace in your shared room, a blank expression on his face as he watched you. He felt so numb. There was nothing he could do. He couldn't save you, he couldn't take your pain away. He didnt dare speak, he didnt dare approach you, or try to touch you again. Beyond bathing and clothing you wouldn't let him touch you.

Last night, he had tried, and you threw a vase of flowers at him that Mor had dropped off to signify her condolences. He couldn't talk to you, no one could, you refused to talk to anyone. It had been a whole week and you hadn't touched any food. He was desperate for you to say anything to him, to let him know you were okay, even though he knew you weren't.

"I love you," he tried, but you only cried harder, he winced, rising to his feet. You didnt ask where he was going, didnt even bother to look when he exited the room. He crossed the hall and went out the door to the balcony, shooting himself into the rain filled sky.

-

"Please come out of the room tonight," his tone was soft, so soft. It was the only way he had talked to you for eight months. You were starting to get sick of it, it was starting to build rage deep inside you. You knew it was eating him up inside to watch you wither away, but you didnt need his pity, this was your fault, you couldn't birth your baby. Frustration coursed through you because no one understood, not even Azriel. "It's winter solstice," he tries again when you don't respond, still in that same soft pathetic tone like he just felt so bad for you. He had been waiting on you hand and foot, barely working because he refused to leave your side for more than a day, bringing endless trays of food up to your room even though you refused to eat, bathing you and washing your hair, dressing you, even though you wouldn't leave the room. He had been so patient, and it almost drove you more mad.

"You can stop talking to me like that, Im not as fragile as you might think," you bite back, venom in your words. He draws back, you feel him, you feel his shadows shy away from your aggression, from your anger.

"Im sorry," he retorts, a similar bite lacing his tone, "but what the fuck do you want from me y/n?!" he demands, you twist around in the blankets, surprise covering your face, you can't even remember the last time he'd used a tone like that with you. "Everyone has told me to give you time, I have given you time. It's been eight months, you've barely left this room, Ive never seen you this skinny, you don't eat, you barely drink unless it's wine, you don't talk to me, you don't kiss me, we haven't had sex in I don't even know how long. I don't even know you anymore! I want my mate back," he was frustrated, you knew him well, he was going crazy. He didnt know how to cope with this new version of you, this shell of yourself. "I lost our baby too you know!"

"I killed our fucking child Azriel, we were supposed to be parents, and youre worried that we haven't had sex?" you look at him, disgust and horror written on your face. It didnt matter how many times he told you that it wasnt your fault, that everything happened for a reason, that you would try again in a few years, none of it helped, none of it made it better. It only made you more angry. And he expected you to leave your room when you couldn't even stomach being around Feyre and Nyx, you knew it wasnt fair, but the jealousy ate you up any time they came to visit.

"Oh you know that's the least fucking important thing out of everything I just said," he furrowed his brows, rising to his feet to look down at you, his shadows swirled and licked around him angrily. "When are you going to stop blaming yourself? When are you going to let it go y/n? You can't spend the rest of our lives in this room," he was so frustrated, so exasperated, he didn't know how to help you, how to fix you.

"Let it go?" Each word was drawn out slowly, laced with so much venom that Azriel took a large step back. "Our babe is dead and you want me to let it go," your anger and hate and depression was like a dark heavy cloud hanging over the room, it had been there for months. "No Azriel, no I will not be leaving the room, and no I will not be letting anything go," you're seething, your body trembling as you stare back at him.

"You know I didnt mean it like that," he breathes, softening and hes about to reach for you but you turn your back on him, staring into the dark winter night out your window. He sighs and a few long moments of silence pass. "Happy solstice my love," he says before tossing a small wrapped box onto the bed beside you before leaving you alone in your depression den, sucking all the warmth from the air out the door with him. You hadn't wanted him to leave, to back down, you wished he had forced you to come with him.

Hesitantly, with shaking fingers you grab the box, carefully undoing the ribbon and opening the box inside. You suck in a small breath, tears welling up in your eyes again. It was a beautiful silvery chain with a glass heart hanging from it, encapsulated in the heart was a tiny fragment of your babes wing. You sobbed softly, clutching the pendant to your chest. Your eyes squeezed shut, your body shaking with each cry. Guilt washed over you, you shouldn't have treated Az like that. He didn't deserve any of it.

Tomorrow you told yourself. Tomorrow you would leave your room.

-

a/n: sobbing

[chrisevansonly]

𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜

✯social media au

✯what’s better than marrying your fiancée and then surprising the world?

✯another charles because i can’t help it lol

y/n’sinsta added to their story!

comments

my favs are in lake como 😍😍

DO I SMELL WEDDING VIBES?!

i wonder what the two love birds are doing in lake como….

best vacation spot ever!!!

y/nleclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, vogueitalia, francisca.cgomes and 5M others

pour toujours me semble parfait, je t'aime sans fin♥️

tagged charles_leclerc

see 250,000 comments

username I KNEW IT I KNEW IT😭😭

username look at them!!! IM SCREAMING

username y/n looks so beautiful 🥹

francisca.cgomes the most perfect weekend and wedding ever love you both so much ❤️❤️

>pierregasly was perfect until you ditched me on the dance floor..

>y/nleclerc not my fault you suck at dancing frenchy😗

username AHAHA PIERRE

arthurleclerc so happy for you both❤️

liked by charles_leclerc and y/nleclerc

charles_leclerc je t’aime tellement chérie, so grateful to have you as my wife❤️❤️

liked by y/nleclerc

charles_leclerc

liked by y/nleclerc, apmmonaco, carlossainz55 and 6M others

I am the luckiest man alive to call you my wife, y/n you are nothing short of brilliant, beautiful and kind. you brought so much light and love into my life at a time i needed it most. you are the sun to my moon, the stars to my sky, and the answer to all of my questions and prayers. there is no one else who is so perfect for me, and I’ll continue to love you for as long as i can. thank you for for being my best friend, my partner and now my wife.

je t’aime tellement chérie, tu as tout mon cœur♥️

tagged y/nleclerc

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username i couldn’t even make it through the caption without crying😭

username charles being the biggest sap for y/n😭

landonorris mate…cmon now

>carlossainz55 i’m crying too dw

>alexalbon 🥹🥹🥹

username I CANNOT

landonorris so pick me, choose me!

>y/nleclerc pop off meredith grey

lilyhme omfg😭😭

>y/nleclerc i know 😭

y/nleclerc charles i love you so much, you have my whole heart and soul forever. you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and i’m so grateful and thankful i get to call you my husband. thank you for making me cry all weekend, je t’aime, je t’aime, je t’aime…

liked by charles_leclerc

>charles_leclerc♥️♥️

y/nleclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt, scuderiaferrari and 1M others

little details from the best day of my life ♥️

tagged charles_leclerc

username omg the custom lace?!

username the way it says ‘hot wives club’

carmenmmundt everything was so stunning 🤍🤍

liked by y/nleclerc

username this weekend looked like a dream!!

charles_leclerc let’s do it all over again amour ♥️

>y/nleclerc same time next weekend?

>landonorris I CANT CRY AGAIN NO

liked by charles_leclerc

y/nleclerc added to their story!

*comments disabled*

y/nleclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, F1 and 998,000 others

honeymoon vibes only, sorry for not answering our phones, we’ve been busy😁

tagged charles_leclerc

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username HAHAHA BABY LECLERC INCOMING

>y/nleclerc @/charles_leclerc 😁😁😁

liked by charles_leclerc

username y/n dropping hints to charles already😭

username my favs!!

username greece looks so good on charles

danielriccardo there are kids on this app…

>y/nleclerc don’t worry lando’s not here 😌

>landonorris HEY!

>landonorris for the record i am scarred for life

>charles_leclerc good.

username poor lando💀💀

[st4rc4t]

hasan piker x weed smoking reader hcs

disclaimer! i do not condone underage marijuana usage!! this is just something silly for ppl who do/have smoked weed before. if ur under 21 in the united states don’t do it !!!

cw: marijuana usage, friends to lovers sorta idk the situation is weird, autistic coded reader ? it kinda just happens, semi pining, gn!reader

wc: 1.1k+

a/n: just me and my 3 weed smoking gfs

most of his friends in the youtube/twitch scene also smoke weed so he doesn’t really care

he smokes occasionally but only at night to help wind down a little bit

he doesnt mind the smell but he really hates when his clothes and hair smell like it

so when he’s around you make sure you’re either outside or blowing it out of a window

you never smoke inside his house

he didn’t ask you not to, you just assumed he wouldn’t like it

he doesnt and it makes him blush a little at ur consideration

whenever you get high and he doesn’t, he never says “omg ur so high” while ur trying to talk

cus like . yeah obviously that was the point ! and its not like ur completely different while high, just a little floatier and it takes you a minute to get thru ur sentences

but you talk about pretty much the same stuff and he loves talking to you

and u laugh a lot he likes that too

dont tell anyone tho

you looove getting high with him its such a special treat

ull be gathering ur paraphernalia to take out on the patio and he wanders out of his stream room looking like the sad hamster

he sees you getting ready, getting a bottle of juice and such and asks if he can join u

gasp of course he can !!!!!

asking how fucked up he wants to get so you know the best method of smoke delivery

he wants to sleep Good tonight so indica in the bong it is !

he’s nervous ab the bong so u bring out a bowl too incase he gets cold feet

he watches you get comfy in your seat outside, a comfortable warmth from the california setting sun

arranging everything ready on the table

“you look like a tweaker”

“im gonna make you a tweaker if ur not careful”

he laughs but he keeps watching you carefully pick out a healthy portion from the large bud you have, pushing it into the prongs of your grinder and twisting the two pieces against each other

he watches you pour the contents of a reusable water bottle into the large glass piece, eyeing the level of water

he watches you stop and put it to your lips, taking a pretend hit and making sure the water level is good

he watches you carefully pack the ground up flower into both bowl pieces, using your fingers to pat it level and dusting the excess back into the grinder with each one

you notice him staring but dont say anything until you’re already done

you make him an offering, bong and bowl in each respective hand. eyebrows raised as if to say, “which are we feeling?” but when he continues staring at the contents of your hands, you actually speak.

“dude are you already high, whats going on?” you laugh cautiously, genuinely a little worried but keeping it light hearted. he seems to snap out of it at your voice.

his eyes dart around for a second as he reenters his surroundings, chuckling when your word’s finally register, “no, yeah- sorry… really long day today,” his words fizzle out as he goes along. you cant help but feel bad, you dont know how he deals with streaming sometimes. you also feel weird about giving him a mind altering substance while he already seems spaced out.

setting the pieces down safely on the table, you look at him seriously before speaking, “are you sure you wanna do this? you’re kinda out of it,” you’re hard trying not to sound condescending, but you doubt he can read your tone that well right now anyway.

he smiles the most minuscule amount and looks away, but you see it. “yeah, im sure,” he sighs out gently before continuing, “i need to empty my brain,” he finishes by looking back to you with already tired eyes. you nod in understanding, relishing in knowing exactly how to fix his problem.

picking up the little glass bowl and a lighter, you hand both to him. they instantly look tiny in his hand and you’re not sure how he’s gonna actually do this. after realising you gave him green hit, you remind him to take a small hit. he just rolls his eyes sarcastically and scoffs, like of course he would, but you both know he would’ve blown a lung.

you watch him fumble with the glass, trying to get a good grip that covers the carb and wont burn his hand when he lights it

he eventually gets it and takes a little corner hit

a bit bigger than he was expecting tho so he does that thing where u cough the smoke out

just awful btw

u give him some water hes fine but boy does he love to complain

u just laugh at him and take ur own hit

breathing in deep, holding it for a second, and letting it go watching it escape into the open air

when he sees other people smoke it usually feels more rushed and energetic, like they were trying to ingest as much thc in as little time as possible

but you take your time. gathering everything and getting comfortable, settling into the ritual of the action. you take your time and let yourself feel it, you take your time and make sure he’s fully prepared before offering him anything

oh no he likes you !

he does end up hitting the bong but like the smallest baby hit so it doesn’t even count

he is sooo silly when hes high loves to laugh

he will def devolve into political rants if you let him, but you’re pretty good at making him laugh and redirecting him when hes like this

bc he smoked an indica this time his eyes are even more droopy than they were before and you can tell he’s getting tired

you clean up and follow him back inside amd he goes completely baby mode at the sight of kaya sleeping on the couch

petting her and pressing his face into her fur, going on and on about how soft she is

you laugh and sit on the other end of the big sectional covered in pillows and blankets

when hes done melting into kaya he sits down next to u with his arm around the back of the couch

real smooth .

it works 1000%

watching smth stupid like family guy (genuinely my fave show while high i will not elaborate)

chilling until he decides to go to bed at like 8:30

he convinces u to sleep on the couch bc ur both too high to drive and he would freak out at the thought of u in an uber rn

okay i have to be done i basically wrote a oneshot in the middle bye bye

[nayanogs]

mha boys and their singing voices! includes: izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugo, shoto todoroki, eijirou kirishima tw: my opinion requested: no a/n: havent written in a whole year forgive me guys... requests are open btw and part 2+3+4 is coming soon!

everyone thought izuku midoriya only had a high range, but that's.. not actually the case.

he's a tenor but his range is WIIIDE

will he belt high notes and high notes only? yes.

can he also sing with the baritones and sometimes the basses if he really feels like it? also yes.

thought he was a terrible singer for his whole life until he started singing to himself in his room one day when he was looking for hand weights and was like OMG WAIT IM KINDA GOOD

can moderately control his vibrato, but can't switch it on and off on command

pretty versatile and can go loud but gets shy and quiet

either sounds very happy or like he's breaking down. no in-between..

if he was a theatre kid and had more confidence, he'd destroy EVERYONE at auditions wtf..

sorry guys, katsuki bakugo doesn't actually sing. unless..

there is no unless. he literally does not sing. but if he did;

his range isn't as wide as the others, but he def makes the most of it

would probably be categorized as a baritone

doesn't ever intentionally use vibrato and when he does he just clamps his mouth shut and stops

his voice is very in-tune with his facial expressions, so if he's not showing it on his face, you're not gonna hear it in his voice

his placement is always like... really good. always knows where to put his tongue or change his posture ect

(surprising since he has terrible posture)

(ANYWAY...)

he could probably be good but he never practices or tries or cares so he's just kinda mid unless he's trying to beat deku

shoto todoroki never actually thought about singing.

smooth and silky like his perfect eyelashes (who said that)

baritone, definitely not low but not high either

VERYY short range.. his yelling voice is about as high as he can go but he still rocks karaoke every time

no vibrato whatsoever. has no clue what it means. thought it was a quirk.

not really any emotion..? he usually has good pitch but you can tell he dgaf about what's happening

knows he's not that good but he tells everyone "I'm not even trying I'm just tired 🙄" and everyone believes him because he's good at everything

guys, not to brag, but eijirou kirishima is a pretty awesome singer...

you guys know the reference I just made right.. RIGHT..

as a proud kirishima fan I do NOT EVER WANT TO SEE HIM WHIP OUT THE MIC AGAIN.

you probably thought I was serious huh.. WRONG! his voice is UNIQUE and a little weird but UNIQUE!!

idk if this is the right way to say it but he pours his heart into it.. kinda like amy winehouse but in a manly way????

uncontrollable vibrato and if you ask him what that word means he awkwardly laughs and then walks away

slightly tone deaf. not a lot but it's enough to make people cringe a little

pours his heart and soul into that shit so you BETTER be clapping for him

always sings manly masculine men songs.. best believe he was belting "I'm just Ken" with half of the dorm cheering and the other half groaning.

[shotanzz]

hii can u do sohee as bf?

SOHEE AS YOUR BF based on astrology ~

reminder: this is for fun and astrology is smth I study for a hobby, these are all inferences based off of observations and not exact fact unless I knew him myself !!

Scorpio Sun: The stereotype that scorpios suns are secretive is so played out they're just technically shy imo im sorry LMFAOOO. Once a scorpio fully trusts you or has something they genuinely want to tell you they just keep GOING. And the same probably applies to him especially since his Mercury is in Sag. In the beginning he might seem hard to crack or not one to spare many details but once he's sure of you and you two are officially together and solidified oh he's a plain open book. Ofc he's not gonna pour every aspect of his heart out but being secretive really won't be an issue. He has an aspect of sun and uranus so he won't really act in ways that aren't true to him, his freedom, or expression so he'd practice authenticity even within the relationship so you better be in it for the real him !!

Libra Moon: Similar to Wonbin he'd be pretty considerate and would weigh pros and cons before doing anything to ensure fairness. His chart makes up of placements centered around truth, fairness and morals so ngl being equal+in balance is something he'd want for the relationship. Sometimes there's a tendency for Libra moons to end up complacent or non argumentative to keep the peace but I think it wouldn't be as severe considering his sag placements. Rather than being complacent he'd be pretty passive, he'd be willing to engage in trivial debates and significant convos but wouldn't break his neck to prove his point or show that he's right unless it was absolutely necessary. His moon is sextile his venus so emotional balance is crucial so he'd avoid constant disturbances in the relationship so you two remain in harmony; downside he might become TOO passive and too invested in harmony to where needed conflicts are dismissed or he doesn't express himself fully.

Sagittarius Mercury: So...blunt LMFAOO. Honestly Sohee probably says crazy stuff or is more sassy behind closed doors he has sm mercury aspects even some with pluto and mars. He might be conflicted sometimes, has moments of being super blunt and even saying stuff without thinking and then his libra moon brings him back into peaceful mode and he's like "uuuhm my bad". Probably likes fake arguing or small debates. Makes fun of you most definitely but compared to Eunseok it'd be easy for him to apologize if he realized it was too far or hurt you. Instead of yelling he might talk pretty fast and "word vomit" whenever he's dealing with big emotions or anger (especially with his mercury square mars) and due to this he might go quiet during arguments (if they ever even happen) because he knows when dealing with his outbursts he could say the wrong thing or be hurtful when not meaning to. Likes to be playful and even a bit nonserious and childish in convos and tries to make things lighthearted.

Sagittarius Venus: Sigh omg a bestfriend and boyfriend in one quite LITERALLY. Sag Venus has a hard time settling down because they value their freedom and life path so much and they don't really get into -serious- relationships unless they're genuinely enamored with you and can see you fitting into their expanding life. So once he's with you and realizes he's actually in love with you and it's beyond just flirting and pining he's essentially all in. Freedom will be evident in the relationship and there may not be a super specific power dynamic laid out outside of the cheesy "look at how my gf takes care of me.”. He wouldn't abandon his career for the relationship but wouldn't completely abandon the relationship as a whole either but just know there'd be an attempt to split both. He'd be loving and wouldn't be too restricting, flirts via jokes quite literally he would end up being the funniest man you know especially with that sag mercury on top. He values optimism and change and would implement that into the relationship as well.

Pisces Mars: His Sag Venus paired with his mars could show that he'd be ok with someone being the initiator or taking the lead but would still be ok with wanting your attention and doing things to get it (not in a toxic way ofc) . Like he'd want to impress you with unconventionally/casual romantic things or "best friend dates" that soon lead to more. Aw man he's probably a friends to lovers trope type of man like anton :((. Tbh him having a Sag Venus + Pisces Mars such a chill relationship like I said earlier it'd be just like dating your friend.

[iris-draws]

Aftermath of Full Moon🌑

Sorry for the emotional whiplash but whoo double post! (Pls don't hate me guys)

Also more rants about full moon (sorry yall im a yapper at heart):

Everyone is bashing blitz rn but honestly I'm kinda on his side? Not completely I think they had both good points and obviously it got emotional and blitz was being defensive and self destructive and didn't exactly mean what he was saying but honestly I think he had a point. The way stolas handled it was weird to me. He told blitz to come on the full moon- basically leading him to belive it was their transactional thing when really he wants to have a very serious talk about their relationship. I feel like he could have specified that he wanted him to come over to talk? (Although I will have a counter argument saying knowing blitz that might scare him away into not showing cause feelings are scary to him) I understand an emotional talk can scare people into not thinking logically- I just think it would have been smarter to full on say what he wanted so it wasn't so abrupt and sudden to blitz, causing him to react the way he did. He would have been better prepared and handled it better.

Now about Blitz. I know he has very crazy emotional trauma and refuses to believe anyone loves him and pushes people away bc of that. But he's getting better as we've seen the past few episodes. He wants to atone- he made up with fizz, he wants to make up with Barbie, and I'm pretty sure him and Verosika will make up in Apology Tour. But he definetly had a point. Up until about Ozzies was Stolas actually more upfront about his feelings. Because most of Season 1 was haha horny bird. Remember in S1 episode 6 when Blitz had that bad trip and he had to crawl up to stolas in chains showing how he feels like just an imp serving his master? Yeah. Stolas has referred to him as an "impish little plaything" Really only solidifying his belives. Then at ozzies he doesn't deny any of the allegations that him and Blitz are anything but sleeping with each other.

We as the audience know stolas wants a relationship with Blitz, but Blitz doesn't see those heartbreaking moments of him pouring his heart out when he's alone. No one does. Stolas has been very upfront but he's never had an actual for real talk with Blitz about his feelings. Then when he randomly spills all that out on him he sees him confused and is (understandably, with how Blitz mocked his feelings as a roleplay) hurt. He moves on and just dismisses Blitz thinking that's his answer. Blitz argues back and gets angry and I really think he was right in this argument, Stolas should have talked about this sooner, or handled it differently. Then right as things get heated in the discussion he just sends him away. They didn't get the chance to really talk, one said their feelings, the other got defensive, and then that's it.

I'm not really blaming Stolas or Blitz for this argument. Stolas is my favorite character so trust me this is in no way stolas hate. But I wanted to shed light on this and sees if anyone agrees with me Blitz is not only in the wrong.

Omg I'm sorry for the long yap session if yall read to the end you're a real one fr.

[desswright29]

On Bended knee

Pairing: Shuri X Fem reader

Word Count: 7.3k

Contains: Sexual content (not really smut), Angst, Cheating, Physical fighting, Drama!, Lots of tears, Shuri begging

A/n: Enjoy the drama! 🥰

Song inspo: Dreaming with a broken heart- John Mayer, Since you been gone-Day 26, Shame-Tyrese

Present

“Shuri are you going to be ok? Do you need anything? Nakia was very worried. Shuri seemed to be going into her mind. Her eyes had been consistently glassy, but no tears fell. They’d finally made it to the hotel and Okoye and Nakia escorted Shuri to her room. “I’ll be fine both of you. I just need some time to myself. Okoye please inform everyone I would like to be left alone for the rest of the evening.” She said peering between the two women. “We’re here for you Usisi. If you need anything.” Okoye says, reaching to touch Shuri’s arm. Shuri flinched stepping out of her reach a bit. She nods. “ I know. Enjoy your night.” She walks away entering her room. 

 Shuri looked around the luxury hotel room. Finally alone. She leaned back onto the door, taking a deep breath, blinking fast trying to stop the tears from falling, still one stubborn tear fell. Wiping it away quickly she walked over to the fully stocked bar, grabbing a glass and a bottle of bourbon. She poured a generous amount, and took it with her to the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Alone. Taking a sip of her drink and leaning forward, her knees on her elbows, drink still in hand. She let her head fall forward allowing the tears to fall freely now. Big silent tears fell down her cheeks as she placed her drink on the night stand and crawled to the middle of bed laying in fetal position, fully clothed from the day. There she cried long and heavy until she fell asleep.

————————————————————————

Flashback

“OMG Shuri! Yessss! Fuuuckk meeee.” Shuri pounded into Eve. They were in the back of the car Shuri had bought Eve a few months ago. Shuri was silent, biting into her bottom lip eyes shut tight. Eve dug her nails into Shuri’s back as she got close to the edge. “Omg! Baby im sooo clooosseee!” Shuri drilled faster reaching between them to play with Eve’s clit “I’m cuuummiiinnngg” Eve quickly reached her climax. Shuri pulled out pressing her kimoyo bead, retracting the strap and immediately fixing her clothes. 

“Shuri you didn’t even cum. I wanted you to fill me up baby! You weren’t as into it today.” Shuri remained quiet as her eyes began to water. What was she doing. “Baby, what’s wrong.”

“Stop”

“Stop what?”

“Calling me baby. I’m not your baby.” Eve scoffed. “Then what am I. You pay for my house, you bought this car, and you fuck me. I’d call that a relationship.”

“I’d call it bribery.” Shuri looked at Eve incredulously. “No. Don’t do that. I didn’t make you start fucking me again. You came to me.”

It was now Shuri’s turn to scoff as she buttoned her slacks. “You’re right. You didn’t make me fuck you again. But, I never came to you for shit! I ran into you. You looked good. I fucked up and you bribed me into buying shit for you and I thought I might as well get some pussy for my troubles. Don’t flatter yourself. Because I stopped wanting it a long time ago. You’re the one begging. ‘Shuri, I neeeeed it, I’m feening, you don’t want Y/n to find out do you.’”

“Puh-leez Shuri! For all the shit you put me through after you met that bitch. I deserve everything I get from you!” Shuri sat back with a huff. Rubbing a hand down her face. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. Sighing she leaned her head back against the headrest closing her eyes. Once again she attempts to speak. “I-I’m sorry.” Eve immediately straightened up. She dared not say anything. She needed to hear the rest. “I know I never said it, I get it. I waisted four years of your life and when Y/n came along I threw it all away with no explanation. I get how that would make you feel less than.” A tear dropped from Eve’s eyes, she’d never expected to get an apology from Shuri. “I guess I never apologized before because it made me feel better making myself believe I did nothing wrong. So I’m going to say it now. What I did to you was wrong and I sincerely apologize. What we’re doing now is wrong and I’m once again being inconsiderate of your feelings, because I love that woman Eve.” 

“If you love her so much Shuri why are you here!?”

“Because I’m fucking stupid! I’m an idiot Eve and I’m going to loose her if I keep this up! You are a connection to my past. Everytime I think about Mother, o-or brother, or Baba, I find myself running to you because you were there and you knew and loved them just like me. But that doesn’t mean we’re good for eachother Eve. The truth is I was scared to move forward, scared to be happy. So I continuously do things to sabotage myself. It always feels good in the moment but afterwards I always regret it. Now it doesn’t even feel good anymore. I’m not scared of happy anymore Eve. I want to move forward.” 

They both sat in silence for a while before Eve broke it. “So what now?” Finally turning to face Shuri, she saw her staring at the car ceiling. Shuri reached up wiping at her nose. Turning to Eve, she spoke “Your house is paid for, this car is paid for. I can set up an account where I send you a monthly amount that we can agree upon. But we can’t see eachother anymore. I want to do better. Let’s let bygones be bygones, and leave this here.” Eve huffed.

“ You think it’s that easy for me Shuri? What if I love you.” Shuri’s head dropped shaking it from side to side. “You don’t Eve” She reached over gently touching the side of Eves face wiping a tear with her thumb. She closed the distance and placed a kiss onto her cheek. Pulling back she gave Eve one last once over before saying “I’m sorry” once more. With that she exited the car, and never looked back.

That was a year before she asked for your hand in marriage.

————————————————————————

It had been five months since the proposal and Christmas was near, snow was falling and the smell of cookies and eggnog was in the air. You were at the home Shuri had built for you both in Manhattan. You called it the entertainment home. It had a full studio, A bowling alley, A fully equipped theatre room, 3 kitchens a huge backyard built for entertainment and three Five bedroom Five and a half bathroom guest houses attached to it. It was were you worked with and entertained other artist and industry people. And if things ran late. They could always stay. You were here working; and starting on the planning for your wedding that you both decided would be in October. Shuri was in Washington on business with the avengers and would be joining you in Manhattan for awhile once her business was complete. 

The past few months had been some of the happiest of your life. Spending time celebrating with your fiancé. Actually doing sit down interviews together for the first time. Making love over and over and over. It didn’t matter where you were. You’d be quick to excuse yourselves to enjoy eachothers bodies. Currently you, your mom, your sister, your best friend Bruno, and his girlfriend Zoe were gathered at the kitchen island going over wedding destinations. Bruno being more so in the way. 

“Mommy, we have to have our first ceremony in Wakanda. The elders have to bless our wedding and I’ll be crowned Queen. I’m not marrying just anyone. We have to follow protocol. It’s going to be beautiful!” Grabbing an olive and a peice of cheese from the charcuterie board, your mom frowned. “I didn’t say it wouldn’t be beautiful, I just want everybody to see my baby getting married and crowned Queen. Why won’t you guys televise it.”

“Absolutely not! We could never give outsiders any view of Wakanda. You all were allowed in on the strength of me and were thoroughly investigated before you were granted entrance.” Your sister cuts in to save the day. “Mommy it is what it is. The first wedding will be private and in Wakanda case closed can we get to the second location. So we can get to the fun stuff!” Your mom rolled her eyes a smile ghosting over her lips. “There’s a fun part of planning a wedding” Bruno jumps in looking bored elbow on the island chin in hand as he scrolled on his phone looking agitated. “Why don’t you go to the arcade or something babe. I’m tired of looking at your pathetic little grumpy face.” Zoe says. “Please” “head on out” “make your exit” You all excuse Bruno at the same time, laughing. “Thank you ladies that sounds amazing. I’ll be taking these.” He grabbed a cup of the spiked eggnog and picked up the entire plate of cookies. “What are you doing!” All of you yell as he ran off laughing. “There’s literally so much food in the Ar-“ 

You were cut off by the sound of the doorbell ringing. Which was odd because you weren’t expecting anyone and Griot  usually notified you of visitors. The only way you could be granted access to the property without being announced is if you had a specific kimoyo bead connected to the gate. So, you figured Shuri was home early with her hands full and couldn’t enter the code. “Bruno! Put that stuff down and make yourself useful. Answer the door!” He rolled his eyes as he put the drink and plate back on the island and went to answer the door. Upon opening the door Bruno was met with Eve. She wore a tan trench and brown leather gloves. A brimmed hat tilting slightly over her eyes. Her way of being inconspicuous. “ How can I help you?” Bruno asked curiously, eyes scanning the stranger, until they fell on a large Manila envelope. “Is Y/n here?” She said her Wakandan accent thick. 

“Yes. I could go get h-“

“No!” She quickly cut him off. “Just give her this for me.” She lifted the envelope to give to him. He hesitantly took it. But she didn’t immediately let go of the envelope causing him to look up at her. “Tell her I thought it was best she knew all of the information first. Only a small portion will be national. Tell her I’m sorry. It won’t be enough, but it was all I got for the hurt I was caused.” She let go of the envelope and strolled away. Bruno stood at the door watching her hop into a Jag and drive away. “Y/n!” He yelled before closing the door heading back into the kitchen. “Yo, that was some weird cryptic shit!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Some lady was at the door. She told me to give you this. Said something about you should know all the information and She’s sorry” Your heart immediately jumped into your throat. Something in the atmosphere had changed. And something told you things were about to be different. “What did she look like? Did you get a name.” Your sister says.

“I can’t really tell you she had on a trench and her hat was covering her face but she sounded Wakandan.” You walk over to him eggnog in hand and take the envelope. “This is probably Shuri playing some type of kinky game” you laugh as you open it. You dump the contents of the envelope onto the island. Spreading them around with your hands. The mug slides out of your hand and crashes onto the floor.

————————————————————————

Shuri sat in the meeting manspread leaning back in her chair head perpendicular to the ceiling. Rocking a black turtleneck and black slacks with black and gold heeled boots. Accessorized with her Kimoyo earrings, a three layer gold chain, a gold Rolex, and her fingers adorned with several rings. Her perfectly tailored trench coat was draped across the back of her chair. Your fiancé was scrumptious as usual, and she was anxious to get back to New York to be with her fiancé; but this pointless meeting was the only thing holding her up. “Could you atleast act like your interested” Peter exhaled.

“But I’m not and I took a vow of honesty”  She rolled her eyes.

“Panther, I think you have bigger problems right now” Colonel Rhodes announced as he walked into the room changing the monitors to CNN. 

News Anchor One: -Young lady claims to be the ex-girlfriend to recently engaged Queen of Wakanda, Who we all know is engaged to pop super star y/n y/l/n. She released documents proving the Queen has been paying her off to keep quiet about the illicit affair. 

News Anchor Two: That’s right Nadine. There are also some explicit photos and videos of the pair that have been leaked it’s pretty clear who it is. The young lady is well known model Eve Wanimi. I can only imagine how Y/n is feeling right now this is such a sad situation.

The voices slowly fade from Shuri’s ears as the walls close in around her. Everyone in the room was dead silent. Heat radiated through her entire body. Her eyes watered and her hands were clammy, and shaking. She could hear her heart beating in her ears. This couldn’t be happening. Nakia, and Okoye had accompanied Shuri on this trip with thoughts of celebrating the holidays with You and Shuri and helping with wedding planning. They rushed inside the room beside Shuri who was stuck staring at the screen that she’d tuned out long ago. A look of disbelief frozen on her face. Nakia placed her hands on top of Shuri’s hands, that were frantically twisting and pulling on the rings upon her fingers.

“Shuri.” Nakia spoke softly. “Shuri let’s get you out of here. Ok” She didn’t move. She couldn’t if she wanted to. She’d done everything she told Eve she was going to do. The affair ended almost two years ago and she hadn’t missed a payment. Why was she doing this? A tear fell from her eye. “We’re going to have to move her Nakia. We’ve got to get her to the ship before the media figures out she’s here and starts to swarm.” Nakia nods as they both get on either side of Shuri grabbing her arms and wrapping them around their necks. They lift her to her feet, snapping her out her trance. “Hey, we gotta get you to the ship Shuri. Are you good to walk?” Shuri nods. “Let’s go” She grabbed her coat from her chair and stormed out of the room fast not acknowledging anyone in the room as she left, Okoye and Nakia trailing behind her. 

All eyes were on her as she walked out of the room. Her usual perfect posture slightly slumped. She was starting to feel like she was choking, her breathing becoming irratic. ‘Just get to the ship, just get to the ship’. Once at the glass doors of the building they could see media gathering at a respectable distance; but they saw her and the flashes began. “Take off your jacket Shuri.” Nakia grabbed at the sleeve helping her pull the sleeve of the trench as Shuri pulled her arm out. She takes off the jacket and they cover her head guiding her out of the building to the car that would take them to the hanger. As soon as the door opened they began to rush. “Your highness, is it true that you’ve been having a salacious affair with your ex!” “Is it true she’s stayed in you and y/n’s shared home when she was away?” “Are you Ashamed your highness?” Other Avengers immediately came out to help. “She is not making any statements today!” “This is government property please remove yourselves” “Leave her the fuck alone!” 

They got into the car, the driver honking as he pulled off, giving the reporters warning to move out of the way. The ride was quiet as Shuri sat forward elbows to knees her fingers locked into her curls, as her forehead pressed into her palms. The car came to a stop as they finally reached the hanger. They exit the car and enter the ship. Upon entering Shuri immediately began to pace. “Shuri what the hell is going on. Are you cheating on y/n with Eve.” Nakia gave her the most disgusted look she could muster. Shuri looked into Nakia’s eyes shaking her head. “I I-it. I need to call her. Maybe I can get ahead of it before she sees huh? Griot call umfazi wam” She says voice rattling in her chest. “Calling umfazi wam, Panther” They all stare at the projection as the beads chimed. Once, twice, three times. The call ended. Shuri continued to stare at the projection. You’d discontinued the call. “Panther, It seems Umfazi wams beads have been destroyed.” 

Her heart dropped into her stomach. You knew. Shuri sat. Slouching into her seat, a tingling numbness taking over her body. She bit into the pillow of her bottom lip chewing nervously. A wet exhale escaping her lungs. “Take me to her.” Okoye walked away getting ready for take off as Nakia sat across from Shuri. Tears began to pool in Shuri’s eyes and she turned to look out of the window as they took off. Her thumbs nervously fiddle with the rings on her fingers as her bottom lip began to quiver and the tears fell. She began letting out painful huffs of breath to try and settle herself. Nakia got up kneeling in front of her grabbing hold of her hands. “I’m going to *deep breath* I’m going to lose her Nakia. She’s going to leave me.” Her head falls as she began to sob.

“No, no. I don’t know what the story is. But, you can’t panick now. You have to get yourself together so you can talk to her. You have to prepare yourself to tell her the truth, and see where it goes. But you can’t unravel right now.”

“I’m scared, I’m not afraid of much, but I’m afraid of loosing her Nakia. I love that woman with all of my being. She’s already given me a chance when I didn’t deserve it. I fear this is it.”

Shuri looked at Nakia searching for reassurance that wasn’t there. She closed her eyes and prepared herself for what awaited her once they landed.

————————————————————————

They all sat in silence. The ship had landed about fifteen minutes ago. Shuri sat staring at the ceiling. She couldn’t stop herself from trembling. Whatever happened once she stepped off this aircraft would be final. And no secenario she conjured up turned out well. “Prolonging speaking with her won’t change the outcome Shuri” Okoye spoke. “I just need a moment” 

“You’ve had several. The longer you sit here, the less likely you are to go through with this.” Shuri swallowed. Suddenly she stood putting on her trench, she placed a skully on her head covering her hears, her curls that lay neatly on her forehead still making an appearance. Putting on her gloves. She took a deep breath and made her way toward the exit. Leaving Nakia and Okoye behind. 

The walk from the ship to the front porch of the house felt too short. Like she was being sent to the electric chair. Walking up the steps she decided she’d ring the doorbell instead of just walking in to give herself time to think. She pressed the button and immediately her entire body went hot. She stood waiting shuffling from one foot to the other. And then the door opened.

Bruno stood before Shuri. His face draining color once he saw her. “Ay, Shuri. I gotta be real with you. I don’t think it’s the best time for you to be here. Maybe give her a day or two.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s in the living room with my girl, Dani, and her mom but I-“

“No I’m right here.” Bruno’s shoulders dropped as he closed his eyes and bowed his head. Moving slightly over but still standing between you and Shuri. Shuri’s lips began trembling the moment she connected eyes with you. Your eyes were swollen red and puffy, face bare wearing large pajamas and your hair was wild. 

“Come in Shuri it’s freezing out there.” Bruno said before you quickly intercepted. “No Shuri, you stay right there. Why are you here?” Suddenly, Shuri felt the chill of the snowy night all too well. Your mom and sister appeared behind you staying at a distance. “I-I came to talk. To explain myself” you let out a chuckle that sent chills down her spine. “Oh she’s here to explain herself guys. This should be good. Let’s hear it!” You smiled, and it was chilling. Crossing your arms over your chest tapping your foot and raising your brow, you give her the floor. Shuri licked her lips squeezing her fists as her anxiousness kicked up a notch. “Y/n can I come in and we could just talk about this alone.”  Her voice trembled as she spoke.

You scoff, “Alone! Everybody in the world knows you’re a fucking a cheater Shuri, no need for privacy now, so you can speak were you stand or get the fuck off my porch.” In the years you’d been with Shuri, you always handled her gently. Hardly ever raising your voice. Today, you spoke hard and callous. Looking deep in your eyes she searched for the love that was always there. It was missing. Shuri began to panick. She felt out of breath just standing, trying to speak as she looked inbetween all of you. “I-It’s t-true” she let out. “But I ended it a year before I proposed. I swear I haven’t cheated since. I’ve changed Y/n I promise you.” You nod impatiently, biting your lip to control your anger. “Thank you for the explanation. Explain something else to me. Will you? Tell me how long had we been together before you proposed Shuri hm?” 

“T-two years.”

“Two fucking years. Ding ding, correct! Your a genius for a reason huh… so tell me mathematician. If we were together for two years before you proposed and you ended things with Eve a year before. That would mean you cheated on me for a year of our relationship. Not to mention the five months you spent pursuing me! ‘Making it right’ for the last time you had me fucked up with Eve. Would I be correct?!” Your voice was coming out hoarse with emotions but your point was coming across crystal clear. Shuri was continuously blinking back tears as she tried to control her breathing. She nodded as she used the back of her glove to wipe at her eyes. “Yes” She let out with a breath. “During that time you bought her house, and if I’m not mistaken that Jag she’s riding around in too?” Shuri bit the inside of her cheek as she turned her head away nodding again, not bothering to speak knowing her voice would betray her. “$300,000 a month, that’s the amount of hush money you send her so she can maintain her lifestyle. While you also still cover all of her properties expenses. Don’t bother. that one wasn’t a question.”

Shuri’s head dropped in defeat. “Anything else you want to explain yourself about? Or is that everything Shuri?” Her head shook from side to side breathing becoming shallow, she could feel herself weakening. “Oh really?” You walk out of eyesight into the kitchen grabbing the envelope, quickly coming back reaching over Bruno and dumping the contents inside at Shuri’s feet. “That there says there’s a whole lot more to tell.” Shuri looked at the photos that were facing upward and that was the moment she lost hope. “Multiple. Several fucking women in the span of a year.” You say calmly. Shuri officially couldn’t breath. “You bitches were having orgy’s! Ha! She brought you all the hoes huh? While I worked and stayed faithful. Missing you! Seems like she was a blast! Huh. She was nice enough to leave that out of the media for you though.” You were now in a puddle of tears. Your sister began to step up now but your mom held up her arm holding her back for the time being allowing you and Shuri to have your moment with Bruno tucked safely between you two. 

Shuri opened and closed her mouth not having any words. Her head was swimming and she felt faint. All she could muster was an “I’m sorry.” And with that something snapped inside of you. “Sorry.” You repeated. “She’s sorry! You hear that everybody THE QUEEN is sorry!” You threw your head back in manic laughter, your sister already clocking the signs stepped forward, but not quick enough. You charged toward the door clearing Bruno before he could get a hold of you. Just as your hand was about to connect with Shuri’s face She stepped back in shock slipping on a patch of ice. She fell back on her butt, but you continued charging as everyone tried pulling you back, you broke free again, and tried to making contact with her face again. She fell all the way back and threw both hands up crossing them over her face as you threw blows that only connected with her forearms. Okoye and Nakia heard the commotion and ran over to assist. “FUCK YOOOOUUUU!!!” You screamed at the top of your lungs. Tears streaming down your face. 

“I loved you all the time! I was faithful to you all the time! And you had me out her looking ssstuuuupiiiid!” you were still struggling to break free as Shuri still lay on the ground hands still blocking her face her legs curled in fetal position as she rocked from side to side, hyperventilating and repeating “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” 

“LEAVE! Stay the fuck away from me! Get her away from me! Get her away from me!”

“I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go” Shuri repeated hysterically. Everyone was in tears. 

“Get her in the house!” Your mom yells to Bruno and your sister as Zoe comes out and helps them pull you inside shutting the door behind them. Leaving your mom, Nakia and Okoye outside with Shuri who now lie on the snow covered porch in fetal position clutching her stomach she lets out a blood curdling scream that was accompanied by body racking sobs “Pleeaaassseee! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry. I changed, I changed!” 

Your mom sat in the snow next to Shuri and placed her head in her lap, rubbing her back. “You gotta try and calm yourself Shuri.” She said calmly as Nakia and Okoye watched shedding tears. Shuri couldn’t calm herself. She’d run hundreds of scenarios in her head. Never did she picture it turning out this badly. Shuri’s sobs became hoarse and shallow and she began to wheeze. “She’s gonna pass out. She’ll be alright her body needs it that’s the only way she’s gonna be calm” No later than your mom said the words Shuri’s body went limp. And she was silent save for a few whimpers. Your mom stroked the side of her face and leaned down placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. “I wish it turned out different baby girl.” She looked up at Okoye. “Take her” Okoye approached lifting Shuri from the ground laying her head on her shoulder. “Thank you” Nakia says as they take Shuri back to the ship and head back to Wakanda.

————————————————————————

Shuri woke up in a bed on the aircraft. Her head was pounding and her eyes were glued shut with the crust of her tears. Nakia got a notification from griot that Shuri had woken up, and hurriedly grabbed a bottle of water from the mini fridge, heading to the bedroom. 

As she entered the room. Shuri was pulling herself up to lean against the headboard. “Hey there Usisi.” Nakia whispers. Shuri looks at Nakia as she hands her the opened bottle of water. She took a large gulp feeling extremely parched. Looking back at Nakia, she asks the question that had been on her mind since she’d opened her eyes. “Was I dreaming?” Nakia looked down, hesitantly shaking her head side to side. Shuri nodded to herself, looking away, jaws clenching. The feeling of loss flooding her chest once again. “So, I lost her?” Nakia didn’t have words, but they all knew the answer y/n was gone and she wasn’t coming back. Shuri couldn’t think of a gesture in the world that would make up for her transgressions. She could see it in your eyes that this time you were done. “I lost her.”

————————————————————————

Opening the door to the place you and her had called home in Wakanda, a waft of air brushed against Shuri’s face. The smell of you both combined hit Shuri like a ton of bricks. Knowing that over time the lingering smell of you would slowly dwindle and all that would be left was hers. Closing the door behind her, she pressed her back against it taking in her surroundings. The memories flood her mind, she felt as though she was drowning. Releasing a low groan she slid down the door, as she hit the floor she heard a ruffling underneath her. She reached under her finding a Manila envelope. Her heart rate picked up as she slowly opened it. Inside she found a picture of her and Eve with a note attached. In the photo they were younger. Teenagers, about sixteen. Shuri’s head lay in Eves lap, on a couch in the common area of the palace looking up at her smiling, as Eve looked down adoringly at Shuri. Shuri began reading the note. 

I did. I did love you Shuri. And watching you love her was killing me. How could you throw us away so easily?

Shuri threw the picture and note to the side as her tears reappeared. “Bast.” She whispered. Now she understood. She’d underestimated the amount of love Eve had for her. It always seemed as though she was just in it for the status. Figuring that Eve would let her go if she took care of her financially had ultimately been her downfall. Feeling sick to her stomach. Shuri crawled to the bathroom, crying so uncontrollably she began to dry heave until the contents of her stomach released themselves. What kind of person was she really? Nakia had been right. She should’ve healed before continuing a relationship with either of these women. Now she’d scorned her first love, causing her to lose the love of her life. 

“I made a promise to you Bast. That I would give my all to her. That I would be better and I am better.” She sat on the floor of the bathroom at one of the lowest pointsof her life. Hiccuping from all the tears she was shedding. Once again finding herself finding solace in Bast. “I will continue to be better. I want to make my family proud. And Bast, I want to make her proud. I want her to know it wasn’t a front. I became better because I wanted to be better for me, so that I could be the best for her. I need her to know that.”

————————————————————————

Living without you proved to be difficult. Shuri couldn’t sleep in the room, so most nights she spent working tirelessly in her lab, not sleeping, not eating. She’d closed herself off and never ventured out of Wakanda for the first year. She’d find herself still sending gifts, and letters of apology. All of them going ignored. Your mom and her would speak often but she wouldn’t give information about you. Just let Shuri know you were ok, and make sure that she was doing ok as well. She wasn’t. Not until one day, after about three months, she finally collapsed. 

She was walking the halls feeling ill and her body gave out. A Dora saw her falling and caught her just in time. She was starved, dehydrated, and overworked. They’d taken her to the med bay and made her stay. Force fed her through tubes and gave her meds to make her sleep. There she had to face herself. And with the help and the guidance of those who loved her. She became strong again. When she’d been released back to her home, it was a little easier. But she looked in the mirror and what she saw didn’t resemble how she felt. Grabbing the clippers from the drawer she cut her hair as low as possible. She was now 27. She’d grown and learned so much. Now she looked in the mirror and saw the mature woman she was. Afterward, she ran a bath, taking the time to reflect, only shedding a few tears. Progress. Putting on her silk pajamas once she was out and applying her shea butter, for the first time since you left her. She slept in her bed.

————————————————————————

Present

Shuri woke up still in the center of the bed, fully dressed down to the shoes. Groggy, from crying. Sitting up, she saw that it was now dark outside. Checking the time she saw it was 2:33 am. Standing from the bed she walked to the bathroom, running the tap and splashing water on her face as she looked into the mirror. She took a towel drying her face and ridding it of all the dried tears. Still not having the energy to get undressed, she just unbuttoned her blazer and walked out. Grabbing her drink off of the night stand and taking a sip, she walked towards the living room. Sitting in an accent chair in the corner across from the door to the hotel room. Placing her drink next to the lamp on the table beside the chair, she turned on the dim lamp. Manspread, head leaned, backeyes closed, blazer opened so far it barely covered her breast. “Griot, play American soul music” 

“Playing American soul music” 

Piano sounded softly throughout the room as “Bended Knee” by Boyz II Men began to play. Taking a deep breath she took another sip of her drink. Suddenly, she heard a card being swiped at the door. Not bothering to look up or open her eyes as the door opened, already knowing who it was. Shuri called out softly “Nakia, I thought I told you I wanted to be left alone.” She heard the door shut and a couple of steps were taken. When a voice responded softly “Hey. Sweet Lady”

Shuri froze, she unconsciously squeezed her eyes shut tighter. Believing she was hearing things. The room was silent, except for the music, as you waited for Shuri to process. “Open your eyes Shuri” you finally say, realizing that she wasn’t going to move. Slowly she opened her eyes, looking forward seeing your silhouette, the lamp casting a soft glow onto one side your face. Her chest felt tight at the sight of you. Your perfectly curvy body, clothed in a white form fitting maxi dress. Your beautiful natural hair had been taken out of it’s updo and it fell heavy at your waist in all it’s full kinky glory, just the way she’d always liked it. You looked like an Angel. Shuri’s hands shook as she reached for her drink. Taking a sip and placing it back down as you two stared at one another from your respective places. 

“How did you find me?”

“Nakia.”

“She sent for you?”

“No. I reached out to her.”

Shuri was taken a back. “Why?” She whispered. “I don’t know” you answer honestly. Once again Shuri grabbed the drink, at this point it was just there to give her hands something to do. She leaned foreward knees on her elbows both hands cupping the glass. Her voice shook as she spoke. “Congratulations are in order yes?” You look down at your feet unable to maintain the intense eye contact. You had forgotten the effect Shuri had on your body. She’d matured beautifully since you’d last seen her and it made you feel things you weren’t allowed to. Why did you come here? “Married. Wow.” She chuckled with no humor behind it. “I really fucked us up.” You remained silent, looking down. Shuri stood as another song began to play. A song she’d listened to many times since you’d left.  One that said all the words she couldn’t find as she made her way toward you. 

I need your forgiveness

And your mercy too

I must be all kinda crazy

For what I've done to you

I hope you understand

That my heart is true

Mistakes, I've made 'em

But I'm making change for you

Shuri was now in your space, her powerful presence starting to feel suffocating. She stood in front of you intense eyes trailing your body up and down, before settling on your face. “Bast, you’re more beautiful than I remember.” Walking away she drained the rest of her drink and placed the glass on a nearby table. The last time you saw this woman you’d left her in a literal ball in the snow. Now you couldn’t gather your thoughts enough to speak to her. Next thing you knew she was back in front of you. “May I touch you, sthandwa”. Without looking up and without thinking you nod. Slowly Shuri’s hand came up to grab your chin. Pulling your eyes up to meet hers. That’s when you finally saw the tears. The red rimmed eyes. You noticed the shake in her hands. 

Have I learned is your question

And my answer I have

“I never got the chance to express to you how sorry I am. But I don’t t-think there are words that I could say that would suffice. Ndophukile (I’m broken). I’ve learned to function, but everyday I suffer with the loss of you. And sorry will never be enough. I know it’s too late. But I wanted to say it now that I have the opportunity. I was young and dumb, and hurting and I should never have dragged you into it. I should’ve waited, healed and come back to you better. But I was also selfish, by the time I’d gotten better, the damage had been done. Everyday I lived in fear that the things I’d done would catch up to me. And they did. And it hurts baby girl. It ( trembling exhale) Hurtssss” The S turned into a sob as tears streamed down her face. She grabbed ahold of both sides of your face. As if on command your hands came up to hold her wrist. Placing her forehead against yours, you trembled under her touch.

I know why you left me

But since you've been gone

My understanding

Has more than grown

I've come to this conclusion

Over and over again

I don't want an enemy

I just want back my friend

You step closer, removing a hand from her wrist you place it on her bare skin revealed by the open blazer. She lets out a soft breath closing her eyes basking in your touch, as your hand lingers on her toned stomach before gliding around her waist pulling her closer to you. You both released shuddered breaths as your bodies connected. Shuri dropped her hand from your face. One going to your waist the other went underneath your hair to grip the back of your neck as she nuzzled into your neck. Inhaling your scent. 

Oh, I'm ashamed of me 

I wish I never done you wrong

Every night of us I dream

That I wake up in your arms

Shuri sang the lyrics into your neck, sending vibrations throughout your body. You’d always loved Shuri’s singing voice. You’d begged her to do a song with you, but she’d always say her voice was for your ears only. The combination of her voice, the meaning of the lyrics, and the feel of her pressed against you again after so long, sent signals straight to your core. Both of your hearts thumped loudly against one another. As you stood in the embrace.

Wish I could say sorry

Oh, and you come back home

Hey, baby, yeah

I was diamonds can do it

So I wouldn't have to be alone

Yeah, hey

If I knew then what I know now

Everything would be fine

I’m soooo ashaaamed

Shuri’s voice broke as she sung. And suddenly you both were on your knees in a full embrace. Both of your hands around Shuri’s waist inside of her jacket. Her arms wrapped around your shoulders. Your noses brushing against eachothers, wrapped up in eachother like you never wanted to let go. “I wish I’d never done you wrong” She speaks through her tears. Unwrapping her arms she slides down your body head lying on your chest. As she completely broke in your arms. 

I'm ashamed of me, yeah

I'm ashamed of all the lies I told

Wish I’d come home, wish I’d  come home at night

Girl, I wish I've never creeped, oh, Lordy

(I'm ashamed of me) said I'm ashamed

Baby, I thought there was something better out there for me, yeah 

You broke with her. Lifting her head to face you as sobs shook her body. The powerful woman that was before you when you entered was long gone. Before you, was a woman aching for your love, someone who had learned long before she lost you, but still had to suffer the consequences of her betrayal. With everything she’d lost, she’d learned and grown and become a better woman. And you wanted her, you wanted nothing more than to fall back into the arms of the woman you loved. But you were married. You leaned down to Shuri and placed a peck on her lips. Then another, then another as she sat up onto her knees, allowing her better access to your lips. The next peck lasted longer until you were in a full blown French kiss. She’d pulled up your dress, picking you up and placing you in her lap. Both of your hands going to the back of her neck, as you tried to swallow her mouth. You began grinding against her as her hands gripped underneath your ass spreading you apart. You released her lips and hungrily began to attack her neck. “Ssssss fuck y/n”. The sound of her pleasure sent a jolt through your body, causing you to moan out as your core leaked with want. The feeling made you pull back. Snapping out of it, both of your breathing was heavy as you looked into her eyes. You knew then you were still very much in love with Shuri Udaku. You immediately hop out of her lap. 

“I-I gotta go. I’m sorry I came here.” You say as you head to the door. 

“Y/n baby wait! Please!” You stop still facing the door. 

“I’m married Shuri.” You spoke in a shaky voice. 

“I can’t do this without you sthandwa. I-I just can’t.” She pleaded. Finally you turned to look at her. Fresh tears falling. 

“You can and you have to, because we’re done.” Turning away, you walk out and close the door behind you. Leaving Shuri, The Queen and Black Panther on her knees, for the final time. 

Baby, I’m ashamed

I'm so sorry, babe

I'm so sorry

—————————————-————————————

A/n: This is the Final Chapter of Shame!! Thank you guys so much for reading I hope you all enjoyed this series as much as I enjoyed writing it! 😘

[ln4-llingforu]

Her Kiss The Colour Of A Constellation

Charles Leclerc x Verstappen!reader SMAU

As much as you loved your brother, something you loved more was annoying him and there was nothing more annoying than stealing his friends

Or

The one in which you're in a secret relationship, but you're terrible at keeping secrets

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@/yourusername and @/landonorris spotted on a beach in Cornwall following the British Grand Prix after posts on their instagram stories show the pair on a 'cute date' in a local restaurant.

Username1 OMG my y/nlando heart cant take this

Username2 I would pay to see max's reaction to this

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Yourusername

Tagged: maxverstappen1

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Post race dump <3 P.s max very quickly made me remove the red jacket

Charles_leclerc red is so your colour 😍

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Username4 lmao not charles thirsting in the comments

Danielricciardo thank you for helping me reek havoc y/n

yourusername any time danny boy

Maxverstappen1 christian said if you wear red again he wont let you in the garage

yourusername fine ://

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In a now deleted story, @/landonorris shared an image of the current wdc's sister y/n verstappen who appeared to be cuddled up with a mystery man, though with his entire face covered there is no way to tell who he is

Y/nlandogirlie sad it's not lando but im now very intrigued

Username3 lowkey think it might be charles, he was flirting in her comments and they are quite close...

username5 man idk i think thats a bit of a stretch

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@/charles_leclerc spotted with a mystery girl in monte carlo following an instagram story also featuring an unidentified girl

Username4 kinda looks like @/yourusername no?

supermax33 omg! Youre so right

username4 and she posted on her story that she was on a date

username6 and the watch in the story did kinda look like charles'

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Location - monte carlo, monaco

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Life lately..

Username2 mother is mothering

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Charles_leclerc

Location - home

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One whole year with you ma chérie. Aucune quantité de mots ou de temps ne sera jamais suffisante pour montrer mon amour pour toi <3 No amount of words or time will ever be enough to show my love for you

Yourusername Je t'aimerai pour toujours <3

Landonorris thank god i can finally talk about it

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charles_leclerc sorry guys but i was sworn to secrecy

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The toxic!charles fic is coming but i couldnt get this idea out of my mind

P.s if anyone has any charles x verstappen!reader fics please show them to me, this paring lives in my mind rent free

As always requests are open

[strangelysamantha]

roomates ☆

damon salvatore x gn!reader.

warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, flashbacks, mention of death i think that's it

words: 2,456.

summary: damon and you are talking about becoming roommates, when a werewolf breaks in and causes some trouble.

request? no this is self-indulgent basically!

a/n: need more damon stories omg

my masterlist

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you find yourself on the salvatore front porch. your mind racing. damon gently opens his door. bed head apparent, with sleepy eyes to match. "what are you doing here, silly?" he quickly welcomes you inside, pulling you into a much-needed hug. "just missed you, sorry." he kisses the side of your head, "don't be sorry, baby." he leads you over to his couch and starts the fireplace. "it was rainy out. it was nice." he nods, pouring you a glass of bourbon. you shiver slightly, the rain dampening your clothes, leaving you with a slight chill. he hands you the cup, "i’ll be right back, okay?" upstairs he grabs you one of his shirts. he also grabs a fluffy blanket. "here, you should change into this." he hands it to you, taking your cup and setting it beside you.

you quickly slide your shirt off, replacing it with his soft shirt that smelt like him. you look up at him and grin. "thank you, that was so thoughtful." he shakes his head, "it's okay, you're so cute snuggled up in my t-shirt." your face flushes from his attention. "damon join me." you jokingly pout while you pat the couch. he quickly sits by you. you put your head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around you. "how would you feel if i maybe, moved in?" he thinks, this makes you worried. "i think that would make me feel very happy."

"really? that's a relief." he shrugs, "i mean it makes sense. i want to protect you, and being your roommate would make it a lot easier." you grin, "gotta make sure i'm tucked into bed at night." he tickles your side, "hey, it's not my fault you wind up in my sheets every chance you can." you shake your head, "it's not for you, you just have a better bed than the guest bedroom." he rolls his eyes at your comment. "okay brat, i'll remember that next time." you frown, "no! don't kick me out, i just moved in less than five minutes ago."

"in all seriousness, can we move you stuff in tomorrow?" maybe damon was urgently rushing the process because he wanted to get it over with. or maybe he was worried that you'd change your mind, not wanting him to be overbearing. his negative thoughts swarmed his head, his eyes cloudy. you took notice immediately. "hey what's going on in there? talk to me please." he sighs. "nothing baby, just overthinking that's all." you reach for his hand, squeezing it gently. "i love you damon, i want to move in. no doubt in my mind." a weight off his chest is lifted, and he takes a breath. "tomorrow works, yes, but let's worry about that later." you cuddle into him, grabbing his arm. "agreed."

the fireplace crackles. you leaned against damon, his arms holding on your waist. "im hungry, do you want anything?" you ask. "im okay, but you can help yourself." you kiss his lips, muttering a soft “be right back,” you head to the basement grabbing a blood bag. you walk upstairs to the entry hall. you look out the front window, noticing a ripple in the trees. a shadow speeds by. you go to alert damon, but he's nowhere to be seen. you take deep breaths, fear settling over you.

"damon!?" you yell out. you turn around, seeing a giant monster jumping at the window. its eyes yellow, with a deep growl, and slobbery white teeth. you jump back, trying to avoid the sneak attack. the glass shatters everywhere, you fall to the floor, using all your strength to keep it from biting you. damon yells, reaching for the nearest item he can use to damage the wolf. he stabs the wolf with the end of a lamp post, being daring, he rips the wolfs heart out and it collapses to the floor. you're gasping for air, frantically looking around. damon drops to his knees, holding your face in his hands. "it's okay, i'm here. you're okay." he soothes your aches, the comfort in his words melting all pain away. "day one, and i protected you, guess i am qualified for the job."

except damon didn't protect you. the wolf had grazed your thigh, a giant gash from its teeth. and damon was too ecstatic to do a full checkup, he was so stoked that you were alive, and the adrenaline in his veins made him forget to inspect the rest of your body. you frown looking up at him. his gaze softens, his mouth falling into a line. "what's wrong baby?" you can't come up with the words, knowing your fate is in place. "i know it was scary, but he's gone, we'll be okay." your eyes well up with tears, looking at the lifeless body in front of you. you have to look away, the sight nauseating. "i'll take care of that, don't worry." you nod.

you get up, going to get the broom to sweep up the glass. you bend down quickly recovering the floor. you discard the shavings, slightly struggling to make it to the couch. "damon." he turns around at your voice, his chest revealing a giant bite mark, red, and raw. you shake your head, you slide your pants down slightly, showing him the scar on your thigh. his face drops, "no, please, why didn't you tell me sooner?" he rushes up to you, carrying you upstairs to his room. he shuts the door, gently laying you back on the bed.

he stares with sad eyes; you reach out to him. "i'm not ready to lose you damon. please don't tell me this is it." he groans lying back on the bed, "i'm not letting that happen." he reaches his phone out dialing a number. he pauses, "i need a favor." you sigh, hearing klaus on the other side of the line. "and why do either of you deserve my blood?" you sniffle slightly, reaching for damons phone. "please klaus, you don't have to save me, just make sure damon makes it. please." you blurt out quickly, ensuring damons safety. he shrieks, "what are you saying? you need it too!" you shake your head, "if he's only willing to give it to one of us, damon, you have to take it. i love you, but i can't live without you." the idea of waking up in the salvatore house, with no damon by your side was absolutely gut wrenching, and you couldn't bear the idea of that.

"true love, how sweet." klaus remarks, "well good luck." he quickly hangs up on damon, leaving silence to follow in the room. you pull him into a deep kiss, your arms reaching for his shoulders for some support. he is holding you tightly. "damon." a tear streams down your face. "please tell me this isn't happening." stefan knocks on the door. you don't say anything, "come in." stefans eyes widen at the sight of damons bite. "what the hell happened?" his eyes are low, and he looks distraught. "a wolf attacked us. got us both. klaus won't give us any blood." stefan begins panicking. "cmon guys. what are we going to do?" you lean into his side, holding him tight. "nothing we can do." you close your eyes, trying to rationalize and plan out any and all case scenarios.

damon and stefan had been strategizing for an hour. you held tightly onto him, savoring every moment you had with him before the bite took one of you out. their nonsense had you even more stressed out. you close your eyes, trying to have a second of peace. instead, a graphic image of your childhood best friend appears. blood was drenched all over the shirt, deep bite marks on the neck. you whine at the mutilated depiction of your former best friend, a whimper falling from your lips while your eyes pool with more tears. damon shakes you softly, "hey, hey, what's happening baby?" you shake your head, "scary, blood, my best friend..." stefan sighs, "that is not a good sign." he stands up, getting you a pillow to rest your neck, damon holds you up, trying to get you to focus on him. the room was spinning, your head kept flashing graphic memories, and your ears were ringing.

"breathe in baby, breathe out. it'll be okay, you're so strong." his breath catches in his throat, his train of thought out the window, instead he was struck with the moment he was killed before transition. stefan comes back, watching his two roommates groan in agony. "i don't have enough pillows, fuck." he swiftly lifts your neck placing the pillow beneath you. he runs to get one for damon, quickly doing the same thing for him. damons grabbing at his chest, feeling like his heart was burning himself alive. "is there anything i can do?" stefans watching the two of you crumble under horrendous conditions, "please, say something. either of you?" you shut your eyes, gripping your thigh tightly. "it hurts so bad, thats all i can say." damon finds a way to hold you through the pain, his hand reaches for yours and you immediately place it in his. you lean into him, resting your forehead against his arm, "fuck stefan. we're going to die." stefan hesitates, "i wll call him myself."

"call who?" stefan turns around, seeing klaus standing in the doorway. "you're here?!" relief washes over you, some hope creaking through. "well i was so amazed by damons burning passion, and the amount of love they share. i found it... inspiring." klaus hands stefan two viles of blood, "call them romeo and juliet." he chuckles, going to leave. stefan halts him, "thats it?" he scoffs, "no conditions?" klaus shrugs, "i'll need you later down the line, but the time will come for that." this confuses stefan, "and i'm just supposed to move on till then?" klaus grins, "of course not. you'll think about it. every day, waking up wondering if today is the day i'll need your service, always being on edge." stefan stares, unamused. "okay. well thank you klaus."

stefan hands you two the bottles of blood. damon and you clink the tubes together, swallowing them quickly. you hesitate. still a little nervous about how easy it was to retrieve the blood. after a few seconds you and damon heal, shock falls over you, and immediately you're relieved. "thank you so much, i can't believe it." damon leans in for a deep kiss, holding you tightly. "i was so scared i'd never see you again." you look back at stefan, "are you worried about klaus?" he looks away, tightening his jaw. "i'll do it. i don't want too, but he saved your guys life." damon jumps out of bed, lifts you up, spinning you around. excited he wasn't on death bed anymore. "stefan i'll support you when it goes down. anything you need." stefan slaps his back, "thanks brother."

the house settles down, stefan writing in his journal. damon and you lay in his bed upstairs, engulfed in covers while cuddling close to each other. the air is chilly. "today's been a long day." you snuggle closer into damon, he hid his face in the crook of your neck. "i know, i'm so ready for bed." you nod agreeing, closing your eyes you kiss him gently before getting comfortable and resting. he soon drifts off to sleep with you.

using the broken window from earlier, one of klaus witches stand below. a alter in front of her. she chants under her breath, smoke forms as the spell gets completed. "it's done." she whispers, she packs her alter up and swiftly leaves town. damon was showering, after waking up in hot sweats he needed to cool off. you lay in bed sleeping soundly. while no one was aware, klaus had only given you guys one vile of actual blood. the other one was a magic potion mixed with animal blood. you unfortunately did not get a single drop of hybrid blood. the witch below undid the spell, revealing your decrepit body was actually deteriorating all night. the potion had cloaked any evidence of symptoms as well as pain. however, the potion was removed, you immediately cough up blood, your senses overwhelmed as you were fine, then all at once every ounce of your body was burning. your mind goes back to your memories, the bloodiest and graphic situations you've ever been through, on replay.

damon hops out the shower, humming lightly. he quickly changes, quietly heading to the bed. he lifts the blanket from above your hidden body. you barely make out a whisper, "it hurts." damon falls to the floor, his attention fully on you. "what happened? how are you feeling? i'm so sorry." you cry silently as you can't process a response, terrified to even move. "STEFAN."

stefan runs to the room, shock settling when he noticed your state. "i don't know what happened, i-" damon runs his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth. "but damon you're fine? what does that mean?" stefan gasps. "he gave us only one cure." damon bites his inner cheek, face cold. "this can't be happening." he joins you in bed again, lifting you onto him, he hugs you whispering in your ear, "i love you so much. i'm right here. stay with me."

"i love you so much damon." you lay your head against his chest, arm wrapped around his shoulders. he cries silently by your side, getting inside your head. he showed you two happy together, moved in, baking brownies, and taking you on dates. your breathing slows, a small smile on your lips. your eyes drift closed, grey lines starting at your neck going to the top of your head. your lifeless body lay still in damons arms, his cheeks stained with teardrops. stefan stands silent by the door. "we were careless stefan... why did we trust him to begin with?" damon heads downstairs to get bourbon, stefan, aware of how fragile he is currently, follows him.

"how would we have known? he made a deal with us." stefan sits down, head in his hands. damon throws a bottle of alcohol, glass shattering on the floor. now when he wants you, he'll have to dream. "i told them i would protect them. i was supposed to keep them safe." damons pacing the room, he adjusts his shirt. "i failed."

"you didn't fail, i did. you were infected too, remember?" silences settles for a few minutes, "i want to kill him stefan." damon is now sat in the chair, his legs crossed, his hands crossed together, "okay damon. how are we going to kill klaus?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to be continued :-)

like if you enjoyeddd!

[milksnake-tea]

OMG COULD I FOR THE FFOR TH- SAMPO 66666666ckfkuff 0PRŌMPY

OKAY I GOT THIS! FOR THE EVENT COULD I JAVE FLUFF PROMOT 6 ACCIDENDNFLLY FALLING ASLEP ON SAMPO???? HAVE A GREAT! YOUR WRITING 🥺☺️😊

❀ ˎˊ- prompt: You accidentally falling asleep on them. ❀ ˎˊ- 1k followers event ❀ ˎˊ- character: sampo ❀ ˎˊ- warnings: mentions of alcohol ❀ ˎˊ- a/n: IM SORRY IN ADVANCE IM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO WRITE SAMPO,,, HOPE U LIKE IT THO VI !!! also this hinges on the masked fools sampo theory so coughs

It's late at night at a bar in Epsilon, the home of the Masked Fools. The sound of laughter, the pouring of alcohol, and the songs of bards fill the air. Bright, warm lights, coupled with the darkness of night outside, create a beautiful balance.

You laugh at one of your fellow masked followers' jokes, leaning on Sampo as you sip at your preferred drink. Your lover in question is prattling on to another follower, retelling the story of Belobog and the Astral Express in a far more entertaining and dramatic fashion.

You'd love to live in this moment forever, basking in the blessings of the Elation. However, you were still only human, and the hours without sleep were beginning to get to you.

But you weren't one to ruin the joy of others on your account. A simple nap would do. Just a few minutes, and you'd be back on your feet with everyone else. Just a few... minutes...

Behind your mask, your eyelids drooped, and your head lolled onto Sampo's shoulder. Soon enough, five minutes turned to ten, and ten into twenty.

"Huh? Oh," Sampo laughed when he saw you dozing off on him, his chest rumbling with his laughter. "Would you look at that."

In one fell swoop, he swept you into his arms, and stood up from the table. He does it so easily, it's almost like second nature to him. Meanwhile, you are none the wiser, lost in your own dreamland.

"Well, it seems our night together is coming to an end, my good friends!" he declared, keeping his voice loud and joyful, but not too loud that you would awaken. He bows the best he can with you in his arms, careful not to drop you. "Let's continue this tale another time, yeah?"

He only chuckled when his friends jokingly boo him, sauntering off as they ushered him away. Using his foot to open the door, Sampo finds that the outside is much quieter than the roars of the tavern. Much more peaceful, he muses.

As he headed towards your shared inn, your head bumped against his chest, jolting you awake. You yawned in his embrace, stretching.

"Sampo..?" you said drowsily, blinking deliriously at him from behind your mask. "Where... are we?"

"We're just about headed home," he replies, grinning down at you with that cheeky smile of his. You don't know how he did it, but he'd already removed his mask. Why he didn't remove yours, you didn't care to find out.

"Mm." You hummed, curling into yourself to snuggle closer against his chest. "You didn't have to leave, you know."

"Yeah," Sampo agreed, "but how could I leave my little angel to sleep in such a loud place? Just isn't right."

You laughed, the sound warming Sampo's heart. "You're so sweet."

"Aren't I?" Sampo chuckled. "Make sure to tell the guys and girls over at Belobog that, won't you?"

"I always do." You let out another yawn, closing your eyes once again. Sampo wanted to protest, but you were already knocked out. He sighed to himself, smiling fondly as he arrived at the inn.

"You are so high maintenance sometimes, you know that?" he said to no one in particular, not really meaning what he said. "Eh, whatever. Still love you though."

reblogs w comments are appreciated !!

[ihavemanyhusbands]

I Need You (18+)

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

You've been casually hooking up with Aaron for a while, but even if you want something more, things aren't always so simple.

WC: 2.7k words

Warnings - SMUT!! MINORS DNI (18+), HEAVY on the angst lol, cursing, p in v, oral (f receiving), casual-ish sex, unprotected (don't be silly wrap ur willy and whatnot pls), not sure what else so lmk if I missed anything!

A/N: Omg ive been so burnt out from work I'm so sorry i promise im still writing my queue of reqs but for the sake of my sanity I needed to write this lmao I had this idea suddenly and I just LOVE ANGST!!! So I had to! Considering writing a part 2 to give them a happy ending lol in the meantime, hope you like!

It was the perfect night to stay inside. It was raining so hard that it threatened to become a deluge, thunder rumbling in the distance and only getting closer. You had brought out a couple of blankets to the living room to snuggle under, a cheesy old horror movie waiting for you on the TV. 

You dumped popcorn into a big bowl and poured yourself some more wine, humming along to a song that was stuck in your head. 

Because you weren’t expecting anyone at all, you were in full-on slob mode. Your pajamas consisted of an oversized t-shirt with a picture of Garfield and Odie on the front, along with yellow underwear that had “Tuesday” stitched on them – even if it was actually Friday. 

Your hair was braided into two pigtails, still damp from the shower. You always loved how it looked all wavy right after undoing them in the morning, like you’d just been at the beach.

Outside, there was a quick, bright flash of lightning, and you really hoped the lights wouldn’t go out. From the kitchen, you almost didn’t hear the knocking on your front door. You’d been counting the seconds between that flash and the inevitable growl of the skies – One, two, three, four, five…

But then you registered the desperate, staccato rhythm of fists pounding on wood. You rushed towards the door, peering through the peephole before throwing the door open. 

Standing on the threshold, drenched from head to toe, was the handsome Aaron Hotchner. It was at that same moment that thunder decided to rumble, but you’d long since stopped counting. The two of you momentarily stared at each other, almost as if in disbelief. 

Aaron had been your neighbor for some time now, living just at the end of the block. Still, despite the proximity, you didn’t see him very often, so your heart began racing at this turn of events.

His gaze roamed over you, taking you in, but you didn’t feel self-conscious. He always made you feel confident and sexy, no matter what you were wearing… or not wearing. He flexed his fingers anxiously, like he wanted to reach out but was holding himself back.

“May I come in?” he asked, breaking the spell you were both under.

You nodded quickly, stepping aside to let him in. He took his shoes off as you helped him remove his blazer, hanging it up by the door. You dashed toward your bathroom to retrieve a towel and handed it to him. 

“Thanks,” he murmured, toweling off his hair first. It was the most disheveled you’d ever seen it, and you’d ran your hands through it plenty of times in the past. It was a charming sight, really.

“Did you just get back?” You asked.

He nodded, draping the towel on his shoulders. You could see the bags under his eyes and the tense set of his shoulders, which you immediately wanted to help ease. 

Some time ago, he’d confided with you that he was a profiler for the FBI. He often traveled to aid in all sorts of cases, sometimes having to be away for extended periods of time, but he’d never disclosed any details about any of them.

 It was the reason you rarely saw him, but you didn’t really have the right to complain, since you two weren’t actually together. Instead, you took what you could get. 

“Come sit, you must be exhausted,” you said, starting to lead him to the living room. 

“I am,” he sighed heavily, reaching out to grab your hand to stop you. “But I just… needed to see you.”

Drawing you closer, he snaked his arms around your waist, and you rested your hands against his chest. You wiped a strand of dark hair away from his forehead, looking into his bewitching dark brown eyes. A soft smile tugged at your lips.

You remembered well the day you met him, out on the run around the neighborhood. The two of you had looked at each other and just kind of… stopped, unable to help it. It was as if the connection had been immediate.

The two of you spent the rest of that day walking around and talking, quickly finding out you lived on the same street. As time passed, one thing led to another, and soon you found yourself under him, your moans a melody in his ears.

But even if you had a burning desire for more, things were kept purely physical between the two of you. He’d explained his job was very demanding, and he wasn’t able to keep a serious relationship at the moment.

Once, he’d even told you that being with him would be risky for a myriad of reasons. And yet, he admitted he didn’t think he could keep himself totally away from you.

You said you didn’t mind, wanting to keep seeing him too, betraying your heart in the process. You found that each time you saw him, you fell just a little bit more for him. It was hard not to.

Not that you would tell him this, of course. It felt a little… selfish to feel that way. So just being around him was enough for the time being.

“Welcome home, I’m really glad you’re here,” you whispered, fingers trailing over his shoulders. “Why don’t we get you out of these wet clothes and warm you up? I can take care of you.”

His gaze became heated, and without another word, he bent down to kiss you. His hands cradled your face as you opened your mouth, granting his tongue access. 

You began undoing the buttons of his shirt, fumbling a little as your tongue tangled with his. You did not stop kissing him even as you slid it off of him, along with his undershirt. You pressed yourself against him, his cool skin a nice contrast against all the warmth you emanated. His hands traveled south, towards the hem of your shirt. 

You only separated for a moment as he pulled it over your head, but then he was on you again, kissing not just your lips, but your jaw and neck as well. You sighed contentedly, eyes fluttering closed as you surrendered to pleasure. 

“I needed you so bad,” he rasped against your throat. “I missed your smell, your softness.”

You melted at his words. It had not been easy to get Aaron to speak so freely. It definitely took a lot of patience and understanding, as well as a lot of honesty of your own. That feeling of mutual trust was not one you took lightly.

“I’m here,” you assured him, tangling your fingers in his hair as his lips trailed further down, leaving open mouthed kisses in their wake.

He took one of your nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. Your back arched as his hand tweaked your other nipple, at the same time that his teeth lightly grazed the sensitive skin. He smirked at your sharp intake of breath.

Then suddenly, you yelped as he pulled back only to pick you up, carrying you to your bedroom. He gently laid you down on the bed, undoing his belt and kicking his pants off before crawling over you. His mouth was back on you, licking and sucking and kissing all the places he knew would make you squirm.

“Oh, Aaron…” you sighed. “Did I mention I missed you too?”

“I know, baby, I know,” he said, planting a salacious kiss on your navel. “I’m gonna make you feel so good to make up for it.”

You couldn’t help but shiver in anticipation. 

He chuckled at your choice of underwear, eyes gleaming with fondness as he looked up at you. You gave him a sheepish smile as he pulled them down, kissing your thighs as he pushed them apart. Your hips jerked as he dove forward, licking a long, languid stripe through your folds. He groaned against your skin at the taste of you, inserting his tongue into your center.  

You fisted the sheets as you rocked your hips, seeking more friction. He brought a hand up to keep you steady, thumb brushing over your sensitive clit. The way you whimpered and moaned for him was glorious. He knew the sound would be stuck in his head for days to come. His mouth replaced his thumb on your clit, and he insterted one finger into you as he sucked your bundle of nerves between his lips. 

“Holy fuck,” you hissed, fingers tangling in his hair. “Don’t stop, please…”

Your wish was his command, so he only doubled his efforts, inserting a second finger into you. Your muscles tensed, and you were unable to utter any more coherent words. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you kept his head in place, that tight coil that had formed in your stomach finally snapping. He felt you clench hard around his fingers as you came, pride swelling in his chest. 

When he rose to his knees, the lower half of his face glistened with your arousal, and he was smiling with utter satisfaction. If there was one thing he truly enjoyed – and was really good at – it was giving you as many orgasms as he could. He loved seeing the heavy rise and fall of your chest, along with the blush that spread over your cheeks and nose. The beatific smile that inevitably followed, always directed at him. He would never tire of it.

This time, you pulled him towards you, kissing him fiercely, humming at the taste of yourself on his tongue. He groaned, helping you pull his briefs down before settling his hips between your legs.

“I need you,” you whispered against his lips, bucking your hips so his hardened length slid against your soaked pussy.

He wanted to tease you a little bit more, to make you beg, but the need to be inside you was much greater. Reaching a hand down, he lined himself up with your entrance and ever-so-slowly sank into you. He leaned his forehead against yours, both of you exhaling sharply when he was fully seated inside of you.

Your thighs squeezed his hips as he began to thrust slowly, letting you feel every inch of him. You’d missed the feeling of him stretching you, his body flush against yours, unsure of where you ended and he began. 

Soon he picked up the pace, groaning out your name as the obscene sounds of flesh slapping together filled the room. 

“You take me so well…” he praised between pants, feeling your walls flutter around him at his words. 

“H-harder, Aaron, please,” you begged. “Fuck… your cock just feels so good.”

He couldn’t deny you anything, truly. Pulling back a little, he brought your legs up so your ankles rested on his shoulders. He felt impossibly deep at this angle, the sensation close to being overwhelming, but not in a bad way. He pounded into you, and you gripped his shoulders tightly, as if attempting to anchor yourself.

Your mouth was slack in pleasure, brows furrowed and eyes fluttering closed. His name fell from your lips like a prayer, completely at his mercy. His movements soon became more erratic, hips jutting at an irregular rhythm. When he realized he was close, he wanted you to come along with him, so his hand snaked down between you. He rubbed your clit in quick, tight circles, your muscles tensing once again. 

“C-can I…” he tried to formulate, unable to finish his sentence.

You understood him all the same, nodding enthusiastically. “Yes, inside me, please!”

Mere seconds after you said that, the two of you stumbled into oblivion, unable to hold back any longer. You cried out his name as he groaned, movements halting as he spent inside of you, his cock twitching. He shuddered as he felt you clench around him, milking out his orgasm.

“There’s a good girl. You like coming for me, don’t you?” He grunted, smirking at your flushed features.

You smiled demurely at his words, nodding. “Oh, I love it.”

As he started to come down from his high, he continued to gaze down at you adoringly, kissing your calf as he gently brought your legs back down. In his eyes, you were the most glorious sight of all, completely bare and undone. All thanks to him. 

Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he already felt like you were his. Despite keeping you at an arms length, he held his feelings for you close to his chest. He cared too much about you to put you in any sort of danger, which was why he did not let himself have what he truly wanted. 

He lied on the bed facing you, pulling you closer to him and kissing the top of your head. You nuzzled his neck, breathing him in and rejoicing in the feeling of having him here, all to yourself. At least for the time being. 

“I think this is my favorite part,” you said against his skin, almost purring at the feeling of his fingers stroking your hair.

He huffed in response, staring vacantly at the wall, deep in thought. It had to be his favorite part, too. He could feel as your heart rate slowed to a steady rhythm, matching his. Your lips planting lazy little kisses all over his throat.

To have you like this felt incredibly selfish, and he hated himself for putting you in this position. He couldn’t help his thoughts from beginning to spiral, depite the influx of euphoria running throughout his body.

“Have you ever…” he began, clearing his throat as he searched for his courage. “Thought of seeing somebody else?”

You pulled back to frown at him, but he didn’t meet your gaze. “What?”

“I mean, is just this good enough for you? Don’t you ever want more?”

“W-where is this coming from?” You asked, pulling further back. “Did you meet someone? Is this your way of telling me?”

He quickly shook his head. “No, nothing like that. I guess I just have a hard time believing you’re content with seeing me only every so often, no commitment, no guarantee of anything… I can’t think of the reason why.”

You averted your eyes. “Does there have to be a reason?”

He shrugged, unsure of what to say. Frankly, there were instances in which you wondered the same thing, but deep down, you already knew the answer. You were scared of facing it, yes, but you were even more scared of him finding out.

“Well, to be clear, if I didn’t want you around – if I didn’t want this – you wouldn’t be here right now,” you said, idly tracing patters in the sheet beneath you with your finger. “So maybe you’re just gonna have to take my word for it.”

Sometimes you truly couldn’t understand why he thought the world would be out to get you for being with him. You were no one, you reasoned. You were merely a sinful secret, a reprieve from the harsh realities of the world. Realities that he never wanted you to witness, especially not after everything he knew you’d already been through.

You were yet to teach him that you truly could take care of yourself, too. In due time, perhaps.

With a deep sigh, he wordlessly embraced you once more, keeping you close for a long moment. He tried to memorize the velvety soft feel of your skin, the light freesia scent of your shampoo, and how you would always eagerly melt into his kiss. He’d need something to hold on to until the next time he saw you.

“Are you going to stay tonight?” You asked softly, wanting to pretend a little longer.

He nodded, looking down to meet your gaze as you pulled back once more. “But I have a really early start tomorrow. I’ll probably be gone before you wake up.”

You stroked his cheek tenderly, silently holding his gaze for a moment. 

“How many times are we supposed to say goodbye to each other, you think?”

“As many as it takes.”

Until it’s real. Until either of us actually means it.

[simpinberry]

for my mental health i need hcs of bella ramsey x fem or gn reader with words of affirmation love language ‼️‼️

hi guys i’m back to feed you some more bella content ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ hope i did this right and that u guys like it :) also tysm for the requests

listen listen!!! after taking a shower she would 100% leave sweet compliments on the foggy mirror for u to read. will add ‘kiss your s/o’ to your to do lists.

will text/send photos of random things that reminds you of her throughout the day. she does this especially when she’s on set and you guys can’t talk much. they have your favorite snack there? sends u a photo and tells u theyre thinking of u. lots of i miss yous, love yous and that she can’t wait to be home to see u again. “text me abt what you get up to today babe” “pedro is making fun of me because i’m apparently such a simp for you, he is absolutely, in every way, correct ;).” “i saw a butterfly today n it reminded me of the pretty tattoo you have”

will watch u like the weirdo she is when you’re getting ready in the morning. sneaks up behind u and repeatedly attacks ur face with kisses. “i have the most beautiful gf in the world” “omg i love this purple eyeliner on you, it rlly suits you” “your curls look really defined today, the new conditioner you got is so good!! my beautiful bby”

is the type to whisper compliments in between kisses. yk like corny spelling out of i love you in between pecks? yep, does that. “i really really like you” “my darling” “mine” “you’re so cute” in between kisses hehehe.

spam texts you when you send/post a photo. in your dms/comment section screechingggg!! my mans is DOWN BADDD. needs and loves to comment “first” on ur posts. they actually make up most of ur comment section. “BABE IM DYING YOURE TOO BEAUTIFUL” “so glad we’ve advanced technology so i can stare at this photo 4life if i want to” “you+this dress= my death”

randomly tweets a photo of you, captioning it “this is my darling, be jealous, gn”

very validating when you’re upset and talks you through it. thanks you for speaking up and communicating abt anything that’s been bothering you. SPILLS THE TEA WITH YOUUU. you have a co worker you hate? she hates them too. listen to me when i say she is on ur side, she is shocked and they’ll even remember stuff you’ve previously told them to add to the fire. best bf frr “thank you for telling me babe, i’ll really keep it in mind next time, i’m so sorry for hurting your feelings like that” “it sounds like it’s been difficult for you to complete (insert task) you’ve been working through it so well :)” “he said what??? yeah like he’s one to talk, go go! continue tell me more i’m invested” “babe you’re honestly so right, this is why i always listen to u”

definitely acknowledges you so so much when you accomplish something. will go on about how proud they are of you, how well you’ve done and how wonderful it is. big or small, bellas on her way to pour her heart out to you. would be unbelievably encouraging throughout the process too, telling you to keep going and trust the progress. “you’ve got this babe, go on :))” “that drawing is absolutely amazing, you’re so talented omg look at the details” “you submitted your assignment?? ahead of time?? that’s my girl frr” “these cookies are amazing, thank u sm for baking them ughh give me a hug you’re the best baker ever, they’re so soft!!”

you guys will be facetiming one night when shes away in a different country for filming. she’s been gone two months and you really miss them. you get a bit emotional talking abt it and they really listen, telling you to let it out. just before you guys hang up they tell you to look at the last drawer of your jewellery box. turns out she wrote you a letter before she left, many letters in fact, for when you really miss them. you can’t help but sob reading it. she attached a polaroid photo of you guys kissing at bottom of the page. she’s so incredibly kind in the letter, telling you how wonderful its been getting to know you these past few months. "hehe youre probably crying from how nice im being" istg this mf even teases you in writing. when you're finished you call her back, they immediately burst out laughing at your blood shot eyes, “hahahhs i knew you’d cry”. sneaks in a ‘you look so pretty even when you cry’. tells you they have more hidden around your room and that when you need it she’ll tell you where you can find more ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ

goodnight!! if i made any mistakes, no i didn’t. byebye!!

[dansevilpianotea]

what are some phancoded songs?

hiiii omg thanks for the ask!! i absolutely love talking about songs i associate with my interests!! (autism has been activated to the highest degree so this will be a long post, you have been warned)

here are some of what i think are classic dnp coded songs:

Guys by The 1975 (i see this as more about the phandom than about dnp tbh but its very very dnp coded no matter how you interpret it) That's So Us by Allie X Still into You by Paramore The Only Exception by Paramore

i have a whole ass 100 song long playlist about dnp but let me give you my favourites that aren't the usual classics:

Eighteen by Pale Waves

This city depresses me But you try to be everything I need We sat on the corner kissing each other Felt like I could finally see in colour I was 18 when I met you Poured my heart out, spilt all my truth I finally felt like I could feel for the first time When I met you

i mean????? thats 2009 dan and phil????? dip and pip??? hello!!??

also fun fact!!: this band is from manchester and this song was written by their non-binary drummer and lesbian lead singer (who lowkey gives lesbian version of dan). you should rlly listen to pale waves. idek if theyve heard of dnp but theyre true phannies to me.

Starlight by Muse

this song, man. never heard of muse until i got into dnp and then i this song was the first one is listened to.

Hold you in my arms I just wanted to hold You in my arms

i feel like it says sth about the expectations of being in a relationship while also presenting yourself on a massive public platform. wanting to be authentic and produce content^tm vs. being closeted and wanting to protect your relationship. 'I will be chasing a starlight, Until the end of my life, I don't know if it's worth it anymore'. Is worth it to constantly push the content out while feeling like a fraud for being inauthentic about your identity? 'And our hopes and expectations, Black holes and revelations'. the future may seem very dark and hopeless sometimes, it may not turn out how we expect or hope, but only once we face instead of fight it (embrace the void etc) we will forgive our past selves and see that the future really is bright. so yes, very dnp coded.

Anniversary by Autoheart

Years of nothing have subsided We have fixed each other up Giving you up? What are you on about? I'll never give up believing in us Giving you up? Now why would I do a thing like that? No I’m not giving you up, no way I will never stop when it comes to you

this song is not only dnp coded (kind of an october 19th theme song) but also has gained a new meaning since the return of dnp games <3. they didnt give up on us. they came back. and we really helped each other get here <3. think about it like that when listening and i guarantee you will be sobbing. the song also has some marriage themes bc theres wedding vows during the bridge so i will just let you live with that <33

Where the Lines Overlap by Paramore

Tracing patterns across a personal map And making pictures where the lines overlap No one is as lucky as us We're not at the end but oh, we already won Call me over And tell me how Well, you got so far Never making a single sound I'm not used to it But I can learn

we werent ready for their comeback / we're still learning to get used to it / just look at them / boiling frog theory / hard phaunch / do i need to say more

Yellow by Coldplay

this song became part of my playlist when phil didnt know a single coldplay song. unfortunately i cant take it serious anymore after dan was turned into a golden pig, then was literally glowing golden during a book event all while #pissyourself4dan was trending and every phannie on twt made their pfps yellow. i will curse your mind to with the lyrics and mental imagery: (im sorry but im also not bc this is how my autism thinks humour works)

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And everything you do Yeah, they were all yellow ✨✨ Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful ✨✨✨ And you know, you know I love you so 💛

✨✨✨

(im sorry again)

Safe & Sound by Tonight Alive

Dan in BIG: "for the first time since I was a tiny child I actually felt safe."

Nothing compares to what we share I don't have a care in the world Cause even if it all came crashing down, As long as you're around, I'll be safe and sound. 🧡

ending it with a nice one because its beautiful and sappy and its so them afterall. they really won rpf.

thank you for this ask, i enjoyed answering it!! (im sorry for taking so long. im on day 11 of a cold so ive not had much energy.)

[elsfairy]

OMG OMG PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOUUUU. Could you do one were sevika is deeply in love with the reader and the reader loves her back BUT LIKE SEVIKA IS LIKE LOW-KEY RUDE TO HIDE HER FEELINGS and the reader is getting the wrong impression so Jinx tells sevika how the reader actually feels about her but sevika scares them to much AND THEN LIKE HOW SEVIKA WOULD APPROACH READER AND POUR HER HEART OUT .

I WOULD DIEEEEEEEEE FOR THIS WOMAN! I JUST WANNA SQUISH HER FACE BETWEEN MY HANDSSS AND KISS HER ALL OVER MY GOODNESS!

───── ENDEARMENT.

Just a warning, I have never written a full somewhat fic in my life... so if this sucks I'm sorry, it's 3am, idk what im doing and I'm all over the place... I do hope you enjoy it tho<3

w/c: 1.7k

Sevika didn't get crushes. That was something she barely even had time to think about. Of course that went straight out the window when you walked into the picture. With your bright smile, giddy charms, and beautiful fuckin face.

Sevika didn't get crushes.

She told herself that for months.

Over that time, she got to know you. How you prefer to wear something baggy and comfortable than something tight and suffocating. She learned that you are a great dancer when you're fuckin drunk out your mind. How you loved to pick flowers and give them to random people in the street. How selfless you were and loved to make people happy. How free you felt when you spoke about things you loved.

Sevika did not get crushes.

But no, the minute you giggled at something she didn't even think was remotely funny, you had her hooked. You had your claws dug deep right into her heart, and she didn't know what to do. She's never loved anyone before, how the fuck does she love someone? how does someone act so happy around her knowing what she does? who she is?

Sevika would be ruthless, she would push you away in any way possible just to protect her heart. Would slide snarky replies into conversation towards you. Would even go to the lengths of ignoring whatever it was that you told her, simply because she was fuckin scared to love someone. She never meant her words, but sometimes her mouth runs course by itself, and half the time it ends with a "Can you leave me the fuck alone?" never intentionally trying to hurt you, but she has never let anyone have her heart. How could she let someone so precious for this world have it?

She's never seen someone look so defeated, heartbroken, and overall done with life until she noticed those tears running down your pretty face. You've been nothing but kind and sweet to her, so why would she make you cry? why was she being mean to you when you've done nothing wrong? You didn't know, fuck, even she didn't really know why, all she knew was she thought she was protecting her heart. And somehow it ran away with you when you quickly stormed out of the Last Drop.

The thing was, she was in love with you. She loved the way you didn't care about anyone's opinion, but you cared deeply about hers. Just hers. She adored it when you would light up, a bright smile on your face at the mention of something you liked doing. She studied you, constantly. She loved when you would cover your face, hiding the blush coating your cheeks behind your locks at how she looked at you. Loved your smile. She thought you were so beautiful, yet she was the one who made you cry. She didn't like that.

You were intimidated by her, to say the least. She always had that cold, blank emotionless look in her eyes that pretty much said "Don't speak to me, or breath near me" but that just made you try harder. You loved that she could shut someone down with just a sigh. Loved that she could scare someone just for looking at her the wrong way. Loved how she didn't take shit from anyone. You were so in awe of her and then knowing she didn't even want to know you? That breaks your heart more than anything.

Jinx, as much as she could not stand Sevika with the fuckin life of her could tell just how much the situation upset you more than angered you. She wasn't stupid, god she was never stupid. You stayed in your room longer than necessary. Barely smiling when she saw you. You didn't even have the efforts to make yourself look presentable.

She upset you a week ago.

A week you have not stepped foot outside your apartment.

That blue-haired girl could always catch the Brute at random, awkward times, so it was no surprise she almost shoved the woman down the fuckin stairs, having some decency to not actually let her fall.

"God fucking damn it. Watch it, you little devil"

"Listen to me you Ogre. Do you understand how badly you have fucked up? I know you have a hard time seeing things because you're so old, but do you see what you've done?"

"Did you snort shimmer, or am I missing your point in this question?"

"Do you not see how much you upset them?"

As much as Jinx despised her, she wanted to fix this for the both of you. She could tell how much you adored Sevika just by how you watched her, how you watched the way she tucks the loose strands of hair behind her ear. How you eyed up the way her mechanical hand rested under her cloak, tucked away from everyone else, but you saw. And it just made you want to touch it. Brush your fingers lightly over the metal, to feel the low hum of the piece of art. Treasure it like she did.

Part of Sevika wanted to run back out of the office the second Jinx closed the door. Slightly worried she was going to either try fuckin ripping her arm off because of what she had said to you or scream, but the other part of her, wanted to listen. She needed to listen.. or just hear how you were. Jinx was also never one to sugarcoat shit. "You're both disgustingly in love with each other, I'm sick"

Of course, the Brute is going to deny it the minute those words are in the air. Denying she has any feelings towards you. Because it's what she does. She can't handle her own emotions most of the time. No matter how fuckin hard she tries, just hearing how much you adore her, how much she makes you feel safe, and how fucking cool she is, she can't help but finally let that frustrated sigh out. She hated how upset she made you. How she made you cry. Oh, the crying.. she hated herself.

"I know you are like so scary or whatever, but please fix it. God fix it, or ill hurt you"

Rain. You never minded it, sometimes it just made you feel content with the world around you. You loved tracing the condensation that accumulated on the window, drawing random patterns and sometimes hearts. This time? Sevika's name. You felt like a lost puppy who just lost it'sfuckin owner, and you were pondering the meaning of life. You missed her. You missed the cigarette-mixed alcohol musk she always had clinging to her clothes. The way she would deviously smirk at whoever lost against⎯

"Can you open the damn door? It's fucking freezing out here!"

Poor you almost fell into the bookshelf at the sudden voice. You've not heard her voice in a week, somehow you slowly forgot what she sounded like, and the fact she was here? right outside your apartment door? that made you panic. Worried she was here to yell at you again. Scared. Hopeless.

"What do you want..?"

"To talk to you, please open the door"

In all honesty, both of you were exhausted. You both felt like nothing was going to be okay until you talked this out. Deep down, even if she was afraid to admit it, Sevika needed you. She needed you more than anything in life, and she wouldn't be able to bear it if you hated her.

Fresh tear-stained, red cheeks were what Sevika was met with when you finally gained the courage to open the door, hair messy and more than likely tangled. She looked like she hasn't slept in months, even though it's been a week. Before she looked so full of life, glowing even, and right now she looked like she would rather be drinking constantly than be happy.

"What did you want to talk about?" Your voice was barely there, and that made her tense. She didn't like she was the reason you looked and sounded so defeated. If only she could have just accepted her feelings for you from the start, then you both wouldn't be here like this right now.

"I just⎯ don't actually know how to word this, never really had to apologize before⎯ but I don't want to be like that with you... I want to be honest with you. I don't want to be scared to admit things to you. To admit that sometimes I can be an asshole, even when I don't mean to be.. I can be cruel.. I can be heartless but with you it's different. You don't treat me like that.. you treat me like a person and sometimes it freaks me the fuck out because you're the first person to⎯ to see me, all of me.. and it fucking scares me how comfortable and safe i feel with you. That night, i never meant to hurt you or upset you, i was just scared.. you scare me⎯ wait, that's not how i meant to word that, you scare me because i actually trust myself around you by being myself, i trust you and that scares me. Im scared because i love you, and i have no idea what I'm doing"

Human contact with anyone always made her freeze, so it wasn't surprising she tensed up the minute you wrapped your arms around her body tightly when you spotted her own tears running down her face and she was shaking like a leaf, she was not used to this kind of affection. But she did relax, when you rested your head against her chest, holding onto her like she was about to disappear, inhaling that cigarette alcohol mix left on her shirt.

"Don't have to be scared around me, I won't ever hurt you Vika. Love you too much to ever think about hurting you. Just wanna make you happy, never upset or hurt"

If she could, she would gladly stand in the middle of your home, holding onto you until her last breath. She loved the way your smaller body fit between her arms, and she already decided in this moment she never wanted to let you go. "I'm sorry i hurt you, Sweetheart"

"You're here now. That's all that matters to me, Vika"