#I played a goblin once and I love her as I speak

[chahut-maenad]

[doromoni]

Gear Shift Failure | MV1, LN4

Ships : Lando Norris x presenter! Reader , Max Verstappen x presenter! Reader

Genre : Fluff , Angst

Sub tags : Mutual Pinning , She fell too early , He fell too late.

Summary : A new f1 presenter and journalist has entered the paddock and she brings chaos along the way. And as competition looms , will the current Champion be as fast outside the track?

Face claim : Sofia Wylie

A/N: Upon receiving many requests, here’s the continuation you lovely goblins 🤍. Also I am still continuing the Clash of Champions ~ i promise (finals end this week!!)

Part 1.

You fought the smile that was forming on your face, as you re-read your conversation with Lando from yesterday.

It has already been a week since your interview with Lando, yet you somehow found yourself in constant communication with the young British Driver. You weren’t going to deny that you enjoyed spending time and talking to him. And maybe going out on dates with Lando would do you good.

“ Ok, so I have a friend and she has a dilemma”

You suddenly broke the silence in the room. You were in your designated office inside Sky yet again, but this time you had the older drivers lazying around your space. Some with a book in hand — while the rest just played on their phones.

“What’s your dilemma muñequita? “ Fernando asked as he set down his phone, giving you his entire attention.

“Not me Nando! My friend” you exclaimed at the Spanish world champion who was lounging on your couch still munching on the chips he found in your stash.

“Mhm… yes your friend. Continue, sweetie~ “ Lewis urged you to speak, as he settled further into your couch right beside Fernando

“ Yes, let the girl speak! What is it Liefje” Nico added as he clutched your oversized plush into his arms, a half-opened book dangling in his hands.

“My friend likes this guy right? The two of them are very close and they share this connection that to others seems more than a friendship- and at one point my friend thought that he felt the same with her a—“

You once again didn’t finish your sentence when Nando interrupted you once more.

“Really? What happe-“The Aston Martin driver was invested

“LET THE GIRL SPEAK!”

“FERNANDO! “

“MATE, I SWEAR!”

They all collectively scolded the Spanish driver — prompting him to laugh and raise his hands in surrender

“Ok. So my friend thought that the guy that she liked was starting to like her back. But not a week later, the guy that she liked was rumored to have a girlfriend. And he started to avoid my friend…. This was 3 months ago by the way.” You finally finished your story, and now you look at their reactions

Fernando, Lewis, Nico, and Valterri had all fallen into thinking.

“So how long is the guy and the new girl going out? And how does your friend feel” the quiet Finnish driver gently asked you.

“Oh, officially for a few weeks, I guess? My friend felt hurt of course. But it gets less painful overtime… uh she said that to me”

“Oh. That’s good for your friend, liefjie! By the sound of it she slowly moving on” Nico uttered, a sense of comfort rushed through you

“How is your friend now, Is she feeling ok?” Lewis asked empathically

“ She’s great, and you��re right Nico. She slowly moving on.”

“So what’s the problem muñequita?”

“Well, another person had asked her out and she feels guilty because she doesn’t want to use him to get over the guy she likes” you explained to the 4 older drivers.

“WHO ASKED YOU OUT !? Young lady tell us this instance!” You didn’t expect Lewis’ outbursts — you expect Nando to react that way, but not Lewis!

“It’s not me!!” You tried to bluff once more

“Y/N, we know it’s you” Nico explained with a smile, while you pouted as they all chuckled.

“OK FINE! It’s me” You utter as you gave up the act.

“So I assume the guy you were talking about was Max, right?” Valtteri asked, finally speaking.

“I’m very obvious aren’t I?” You said defeated, as you stood up from your seat and wedged yourself beside Nico.

“Everyone with a pair of eyes knew something was between you and Max, “ Nando said as Valterri nodded in agreement.

“Young lady, you haven’t answered my question. Who asked you? Is it another driver?” Suddenly you felt like you were on the hot seat — as all their eyes focused on you with eyebrows raised. It felt like you were being questioned by your dad.

“Uhmm yes, it’s another driver… it’s Lando” You said as you picked on your nails. A shy smile graces your face.

“ He finally had the balls to ask huh?” Nando snickered

“What?? You also knew?!” You asked flabbergasted. You surveyed the room and saw all of them snickering amongst themselves.

“He did ask for my permission, sort of… it was just jumbled words that didn’t make sense then” Lewis explained as he visibly got less tense.

“Lando asked permission from you?? What are you, my dad?” You asked amused, come to think of it Lewis was sort of a father figure to you. Being that he always supported and guided you ever since the start of your journey in Formula 1

“Well, you sticking around me like a toddler in your first year here doesn’t help, sweetie.” Lewis could only laugh at the memories of him taking care of you. Memories like Lewis driving you around, giving you food, telling you to talk to others.

“And what are you guys? My uncles?” You asked the 3 drivers, who only shrugged and nodded.

“Well, should I say yes to Lando then?” You asked dropping all pretense and just laying it all out

“It wouldn’t hurt to try, Liefjie” Nico advised

“Yeah try something new, Dear. Max had his chance and he didn’t take it. So go have fun with Lando!” Fernando added, patting your hand.

You set your eyes on Valtteri — who only nodded his head with a smile.

“ You have our approval, and we’ll support your decision, sweetie! Do what will make you happy” Lewis said comfortingly

the.Y/N

liked by lewishamilton, landonorris , maxverstappen1, and 472,002 others

the.Y/N Apparently, @lewishamilton is my father?? I was only made notice now, ok I guess.

lewishamilton thank you for the flattering pictures , sweetie 🥲

the.Y/N oh no worries, pops! More to come I swear🤍

user1 Y/N please don’t dogshow the old man 😭

user2 HAHAHAHAAH I swear Y/N is a different breed

user3 Awwww! I always loved it when Lewis calls Y/N sweetie.

user4 The grid father and daughter pairing 🤍

landonorris Oh, You weren’t aware?

the.Y/N No, I was not :)) . I was made aware when someone asked for permission.

landonorris well glad to be of service

lewishamilton @landonorris get your act straight! I already approve

landonorris @lewishamilton will do my very best, sir. Thank you 🫡

the.Y/N I hate and love you both 😮‍💨

User1 Approve of what Sir Lewis?? Lando is approved for what??

mercedesamgf1 family photo with Roscoe when?

the.Y/N already have tons of it in the gallery 😛

You continued to scroll past your feed and Kelly’s post appeared …

kellypiquet

liked by maxvestappen1 and 638,073 others

kellypiquet Happiest when with you 💙

view all comments

maxverstappen1 💙

You knew that you shouldn’t feel jealousy or anger, but you couldn’t help but frown as you saw Max and Kelly acting all sweet. It still stung that you didn’t mean anything more to Max, all the memories you’ve made you’ve looked at rose-tinted, shattered.

So you strengthened your resolve and focused all your thoughts on your work. You then remembered that you had a date with Lando. You went back to your conversation a while ago

Then slowly, without noticing, a smile bloomed on your face at the thought of Lando Norris.

One date with Lando turned into two, two turned into three, then four and five.

the.Y/N

liked by landonorris, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, fernandoalo_oficial, and 629,920 others

the.Y/N So much fun , laughs , and food 🧡 10/10 would do again!

charles_leclerc you aren’t sneaky with that orange heart y/n

the.y/n 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

lewishamilton stay safe and go home early ~ i’m watching you two.

the.Y/N hehehe will do, promise

User1 Ms. Y/N are you seeing someone 🧐

the.Y/N I dunno~ maybeeee

User2 ok! Im invested. Who is it @the.Y/N?? Please spill

User2 this is so Lando Norris coded I swear.

User 6 I know!! Golf and karting? Could they be more obvious. Ughh I ship it🧡

User3 you look sooooooo pretty Y/N!! who ever’s dating , I hope they could fight . 😤

liked by landonorris

User3 LANDO NORRIS LIKED MY COMMENT??? HELLO?!

User4 Lando????!!

You were progressively forgetting your feelings for the Dutch Red Bull Driver . How can you not? When Lando Norris had been showering you with so much love and affection.

Then finally, Lando asked you to be his girlfriend. You said yes. You were ready to let someone else in your heart— and this time you were sure that there was someone to catch you when you fell.

your story close friends

viewed by landonorris , charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 , and 35 others

story replies

charles_leclerc I made this couple 💪 It was all MEEEE.

landonorris 🧡🤍 someones getting bolder ey?

maxverstappen1 haha i’ve been replaced as your bestfriend 😂

landonorris story

viewed by the.Y/N , charles_leclerc , carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 , and 5,628,926 others

the.Y/N And I was bold? Ok soft launch ~ Kudos mr. Norris! I won’t go down without a fight tho 🫡

charles_leclerc someones being braveee

carlossainz55 Landino! Are you and y/n ready to share to the world then?

The two of you kept everything on the low, yet you didn’t keep it a secret — only very select few knew. Lando and you wanted to enjoy what you two had to yourselves first. Everyone outside your circle thought that the two of you were just friends.

But that didn’t stop either of you from posting online.

Max saw your posts and the feeling of something clawing in his stomach resurfaced. He didn’t like it one bit. It has been 2 months ever since he found out that Lando held feelings for you. And it has been a month since the two of you properly spoke. And if he were honest to himself, Max missed your presence dearly.

Kelly didn’t have anything in common with him. And most of the time, he grew bored and he just wanted to crawl back to his sim and drive constantly.

Max missed talking about everything and nothing with you. He missed how you shared his interests and how the two of you explored every one of them. Max just missed… You.

The longer he stared at his phone screen, the deeper his anxiety rose. He didn’t like what he saw, not one bit. He needed to do something about it.

***

You are lounging in your Boyfriend’s condo, dressed in a hoodie that you stole from his dresser. Soft music played on the centralized sound system.

Lando was inside his streaming room live on Twitch, while you made your way into his kitchen and started to cook dinner for the two of you. Lando did love your cooking.

Then suddenly your phone rang and to your surprise it was Max calling. Without any further thought, you picked up the call.

“Hello, Y/N?” You heard Max’s voice on the line, the usual butterflies present in your stomach were now absent. You didn’t feel the bubbling sensation you used to feel when Max unexpectedly called.

Then suddenly, you heard Lando shout nonsense, probably at his best mate. A smile grazed your lips as you heard your boyfriend’s shout in the distance.

“Oh, hi Max! What’s up?” You asked curiously, balancing your phone on your shoulders as you took out the ingredients from the fridge.

“Where are you, right now? No one’s answering the front door” Max’s reply startled you. Why is he at your house all of a sudden?

“What? You’re in my house… uh why?” You asked, a tone of confusion present in your voice

“It’s Wednesday, Movie night remember” You were filled with even more perplexity for the Red Bull driver. The two of you haven’t talked one one-on-one for nearly a month, not even through chat. Movie nights with Max were long forgotten.

“Max…. We haven’t had movie night in 3 months.” You replied carefully.

“Uhm, we can start again?” You sensed the hopelessness in his voice.

“I’m sorry Max, I’m at Lando’s right now… and I don’t think your girlfriend would appreciate it if we suddenly continued movie nights”

“You’re at Lando’s? Y/N its already la-”

“Max I think it’s best if we kept our distance… yeah?” You suddenly interjected, clearly stating your boundaries.

“What?! Why?” Max asked incredulously

“Max … you have a girlfriend! I don’t want to create any misunderstandings. And I don’t want Lando to have doubts … considering that I used to have feelings for you before. But we can still hang out … but in a group setting”

You didn’t mean to spill everything and tell Max of your past feelings for him, but you found yourself relieved of letting it out of your chest. Now you could truly say that you have moved on.

There was silence before Max had finally answered. “Oh… ok. I understand”

“Bye Max” At that you ended the call, leaving that part of your past behind.

The sound of the call ending echoed in Max’s head. The words you’ve said slowly dawned on him.

You liked him? Since when? Suddenly understanding and relief filled Max. He realized that he liked you more than just a sister. He didn’t look at you as just a friend. He suddenly understood the emotions that he was so afraid to explore before. What he felt for you was something so strong that it scared him. It wasn’t like what he felt when he was with Kelly, no. But with you, He felt vulnerable, He felt like everything was on the table because you understood him so well.

Then suddenly Max froze, as if cold water was dumped all over him. You said liked … past tensed. You didn’t like him anymore. Max was suddenly filled with dread, chest hurting as if tons of weight pressed on it.

He had his chances in making you his, and his alone. Max Verstappen maybe the fastest driver on the grid , but outside the track — he had failed to switch gears from making you from a friend to much much more. He had lost you and it was all his fault.

landonorris

liked by the.Y/N , mclaren, carlossainz55, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc , and 1,639,829 others

landonorris the world should see the forever view of my camera lens. Love you , stranger 🧡

tagged @the.Y/N

the.Y/N I love you more, stranger🧡

taglist: @spookystitchery @bibissparkles @newlifeforus @steamy-smokey @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @charizznorizz @evesfile @j-lesca @gr1mes-cc @ironmaiden1313

[meanbossart]

Hi! I'm almost certain you've answered asks regarding Drow being a companion love interest before, but I'm not sure if my question was specifically discussed. If so, I apologize!

Say I wanted the smelly, gore lusting man (God the things I'd do), what would the player find themselves needing to do to gain that relationship with him?

HMM good question, lets see!

Generally speaking, to gain approval you would have to:

Show ruthlessness during dialogue and interactions (succeed intimidation checks or jump straight into combat)

Be kind towards animals, and honest/patient with children (He will be neutral if you just coddle them)

Oppose the absolute and antagonize mindflayers, gith, and drow.

Be nice to Shadowheart.

Pick a lot of the joke/playfully mean dialogue options.

Be a little hard-to-get in romance interactions until act 3.

Responding to his advances with more mellow, romantic dialogue will earn you more points than overt sexuality (In some cases, the latter may even get you disapproval).

Make him laugh.

To trigger his romance, you have to have good approval and sleep with him once. Following that, pressuring him to sleep with you again or shaming him for not putting your life in danger by trying will earn you disapproval, and an eventual break-up if you continue to insist. He enjoys being wooed, but not chased, and dislikes when you misunderstand his visceral attempts to emotionally reach out as sexual propositions; he will play along either way, but it will put him on a Bhaalist path.

Some quest choices that will get you on his good side:

ACT 1 -

He's indifferent if Arabella dies, but you gain approval if you save her.

Let him take on the Loviatar Priest when he requests it.

Don't get the Absolute's mark from Priestess gut.

Save Mayrina, but then either break or keep the wand.

Let Astarion kill Gandrel.

Help Karlach.

Either let Shadowheart kill Lae'zel, or stop the fight.

Don't kill the owlbear mother or cub.

Send Barcus flying (He doubles over laughing)

Kill Minthara.

Side with the mercenaries at Grymforge.

Kill the gith student refusing to fight.

Refuse to give the inquisitor the artefact.

ACT 2 -

Help Arabella find her parents.

Don't release the pixie from the moonlantern.

Help Mol cheat against Raphael.

Let him massacre the goblins at Moonrise Towers.

Get the Thorm bosses AND yurgir to kill themselves instead of fighting any of them (again: You are rewarded with him laughing his ass off about it)

Don't comply with Araj.

If you save Zevlor at the mindflayer colony, shame him for giving into the Absolute's call.

Antagonize the emperor after his reveal and refuse the astral tadpole.

ACT 3 -

Help Yenna with either gold or food, but don't invite her to your camp.

Kill Arfur once you find out about the explosive toys.

Forge an alliance with Gortash.

Win the Laff riot contest.

Don't surrender Dame Aylin to Lorroakan.

Don't sign the contract, but agree to get the Orphic hammer through other means later. (Anything to not rely on the Emperor anymore)

If she hasn't become a Dark Justiciar, don't surrender Shadowheart to Viconia (He will fight the party unless you leave him at camp and succeed a deception check later). He doesn't care what you do if she's a DJ.

Vanra's quest can get you either approval or disapproval at different points. He approves of you agreeing to help her, then also approves of you killing her for the money, but he disapproves of you letting the child die or of siding with Ethel.

Agree to the Avenge The Drowned quest (He just thinks they're hot)

Don't let Astarion Ascend, or kill him if he does.

Kill Sarevok.

Let him take on Orin by himself.

Don't turn into a mindflayer (he will break up with you later), nor let Karlach do it.

If he's become a chosen of Bhaal, let him control the Absolute.

[megs-mostly-past-random-fandoms]

In My Sister’s Place (Part 1 of 2)

Based on this request:  Is it possible for me to ask for a Jareth fic? Reader is Sarah and Toby’s older sister (she was on a date that ended badly so that’s why she wasn’t the one babysitting that night) and insists on running the labyrinth in Sarah’s place. Jareth agrees. You can decide if reader chooses to leave or to stay once she’s done running the labyrinth.

Here you are, lovely! *Familiar Characters are NEVER mine!*

Fandom: Labyrinth

Warnings: Mentions of bad dates, poor step-parenting, and the beginning events of the movie. This is part 1 of 2 as it was getting too long for only one part!

Pairings/Characters: Eventual!Jareth the Goblin King x fem!reader, Sarah , Toby

You let out a sigh as you opened the front door. You could hear Merlin barking from the shed. Your stepmother must have made Sarah put him there. Heaven forbid anything make her gleaming-white floors dirty. Maybe that wasn't fair. You were in a bad mood after all. Your date had been awful.

         From a young age, you'd dreamed of the kind of partner you'd read about in story books. The type of men that were in the plays your late mother had acted in. A hero. A knight. A king. A lover. Needless to say, your standards were probably too high but you were determined to get as close to that kind of man that you could. That lead to many uninteresting dates. Not that they were all "bad" people, per say. They just weren't what you were looking for.

         You were pulled from your pity party by the sound of crying. Clearly, your dad and stepmother had made Sarah babysit again. Now you felt bad. Sarah shouldn't be responsible for an infant and if you hadn't gone out on what turned out to be a horrible date, she wouldn't be.

         "Sarah? Everything okay?" you called out as you made your way up the stairs. Instead of an answer, you were greeted with more crying. You weren't surprised. Sarah was never any good at calming Toby. When you reached the landing, you found Sarah leaving the room Toby slept in. Before you could greet her, you heard her say, "I wish the goblins really would come and take you away." With that, she closed to the door to head back to her own room.

         "Sarah!" you cried as Toby's own crying suddenly stopped. Sarah met your gaze for a moment in confusion. You both ran, nearly knocking each other down, and opened the door again only to find Toby missing from his crib. "Sarah, what have you done?" you whispered as lightening flashed once more. You approached the crib slowly. Definitely no Toby.

         Before you could speak again, you heard what sounded like giggles and small feet running. Toby couldn't pull himself out of the crib so it wasn't him. And if it wasn't Toby, who was it? You jumped when you heard something smack against the window. Sarah's gaze kept darting around the room, but yours was drawn to the white owl at the window, trying desperately to get in.

         Another strike of lightening and a gust of wind made you jump. The window practically flew open and the owl darted in, flying into both your and Sarah's faces. Sarah let out a scream as the owl backed off. The next thing you knew, standing where the owl had been, was…well, he looked like a man, but you knew he was something more. You knew exactly who he was, but it was Sarah who voiced your thoughts.

         "You're him, aren't you? You're the Goblin King." You stared, drawn into the beauty that stood before you. You really needed to snap out of it. He had your brother and you needed to protect Toby and Sarah. "Please. I want my brother back. Where is he?"

         "You know very well where he is," the Goblin King responded, his voice sending shivers through you. "Please, bring him back," you managed to say. His eyes shifted to you and he regarded you closely for a moment. "What's said is said."

         "But I didn't mean it!" Sarah protested. "Oh you didn't?" he asked, taunting the younger girl.  "Please, bring Toby back," you finally spoke up and that was when the Goblin King's eyes met yours. In an instant you saw a dozen emotions pass over his face. "There is only one way to bring the baby back. She," he stated, pointing to Sarah, "Must run my labyrinth."

         "I'll do it," you declared, "If the stories are true, then surely you can bend the labyrinth to your will and make it difficult for me." He arched a brow before looking between you and Sarah for a moment. He moved behind you and pointed out. "Do you know what that is?" he asked. Before your eyes, the night outside your window changed into something else. Something that should have been terrifying but instead filled you with excitement.

         "The castle beyond the Goblin City," you replied. The Goblin King nodded and you felt him move closer to you. "You have thirteen hours to best my labyrinth. Should you win, I will let you and the baby go. If you lose, Toby shall remain here, as a goblin." You nodded.

         "Turn back, Y/N. Before it's too late," he told you as he backed away. "I can't," you whispered and glanced at him over your shoulder. He frowned a bit. "You cannot win." You smiled. "I have to try." His tall form began to fade away. "Wait! What is your name?" you asked, earning a surprised look from the king that quickly became a smirk. "Best my labyrinth and I may tell you." You huffed as he disappeared. With a sigh, you began the long trek to the castle.

(a/n: I hope you like it! Part 2 will be posted after the 2nd part of “Deduce Me”)

Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard​ @supernatural4life2022​

[fierymiasma]

ʚ Keeping his promise ɞ | Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Request: Can I request HufflepuffMC x Sebastian, 10 years after Hogwarts? Like they see again in some kind of reunion (they have been writing to each other but not so much) and Seb is like taken back how lovely the MC become and all? If u would like Could u also do the same with Ominis? (Is thats alright with u ofc). I know Im asking much sorry -From omg-edzia-stuff

Summary: It's been a whole lifetime since she's seen Sebastian.  Ten years since she refused to speak to him, terrified of the person he was becoming.  Years of absolute silence from her, never once opening any of his letters.  Now, ten years later, with their class reunion coming up, he can't help but wonder if she had forgotten about their time together.

Sebastian certainly hasn't.

Words: 2.6k

My work: FieryMiasma

It was one of their rare moments of peaceful quiet.  The winter of their 5th year was fast approaching. The last few leaves of autumn were starting to fall.  Sebastian had invited her to the shores of the Black Lake to witness "the best sight of all of Hogwarts" and conjured up a soft blanket for them to sit together.  It was either good fortunate (or good planning) that the sun was setting right onto the Black Lake's surface.  His Hufflepuff was sitting next to him, bundled up in Slytherin robes that she'd borrowed from him to protect herself from the incoming night chill.  He couldn't help but admire how the dying light shone through her hair, giving her an almost golden glow.  

"You know after all of this is over, and Anne is back to her usual self, I would very much like to do this again, maybe at the Three Broomsticks, just the two of us, and…under a bit different circumstances."

"Sebastian Sallow."  There was a blush on her cheeks.  "Are you asking me out on a date?"

Sebastian couldn't screw the courage to look at her in the face.  "If you find it agreeable."  

Her shy hand found his.  "Yes, after finding a cure for Anne, defeating Ranrok, getting all this silly Keepers' nonsense out of the way, and of course, passing our OWLS,"  Sebastian chuckled.  "I would very much like to start seeing you."  

Sebastian grinned.  For the first time since his sister had been cursed, his heart truly felt light, free of its chains.  He was itching to kiss his Hufflepuff, to show her how wonderful she truly was, to suffocate her with his affection.  "It's a promise then.  A date after all this is over."

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Solomon.  Lodgok. Professor Fig.  Anne.  The unforgivable curses.  Ominis…

...A particularly nasty fight that changed the course of their friendship forever…

Sebastian sighed.  Sitting by himself once again in the corner of the Leaky Cauldron, he stared at his untouched drink in front of him.  They never did manage to go on that date did they?  Even after ten years had passed, Sebastian couldn't help but play the memory over and over in his head, like a pensieve on loop.

After…everything that happened, they drifted apart.  Her, consumed in her grief of her mentor, now burdened as the last living Keeper of ancient magic.  And Sebastian….a remorseful idiot, who lost everyone he loved with just one spell.  

He tried.  He yelled.  He begged.  He manipulated.  He cried.  He pleaded on his hands and knees, for her to give him a second chance.  For him to show her who he truly was.  He was lucky he supposed, that she didn't just throw him into Azkaban like Ominis and Anne had intended.

To this day, the fear reflected in her eyes still made him want to hurl.  How, the most powerful witch of this century, who didn't bat an eye at trolls, goblin generals, or a hoard of dark wizards, feared Sebastian.  She was terrified of him.

It was years, years of groveling for his best friend's forgiveness, years of caring for Anne at her bedside, and years of grieving at his family's graves, wondering where it all went wrong.  Sebastian hoped he'd changed in the 10 years since graduating Hogwarts.  At least, Anne told him he did, but she always had that way of saying things to make him feel better.  He hoped he'd change from that vengeful wrathless boy he once was to…at least someone worthy of a fraction of her time.

Finally picking up the goblet of firewhiskey, he tried to find the energy to drink it.  It wasn't the first time he got lost in thought thinking about her.  He'd become an avid reader of the Daily Prophet, every morning frantically combing through the pages, seeing what next great wizarding accomplishment she'd achieve.  What impossibilities she did with the smallest modicum of effort.  

Of course, he wrote to her obsessively.  His poor owl flying around the globe trying to find her.  It always seemed to come back exhausted, with Sebastian's unopened letters in its beak.

Speaking of letters…Sebastian dug Poppy Sweeting's invitation from the confines of his robes.  He had been sitting in the Leaky Cauldron for the better part of two hours, half debating on jumping into the floo fireplace and going back home to Anne.  Scanning the invitation, he reread the details he had already memorized.

A 10 year reunion of their Hogwarts classmates.  At Hogsmeade.  Tonight.  

He wondered if she would be there.

Mustering up the courage he didn't have as a lad, he threw back his shot of firewhiskey.  Slamming down two knuts on the table, he smoothed his dress robes, wondering why he even bothered up to dress up for this whole silly affair.  He made his way over to the fireplace.  Sebastian hoped he wouldn't regret his decision.  Climbing into the floo network, he turned around and declared:

"Three Broomsticks!"

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

She worried at her bottom lip, wondering for the millionth time, if this whole thing was a mistake.  Merlin, she felt like a schoolgirl all over again.  Looking at herself in the butterbeer, she nervously touched at her make up that Natty helped apply on her, smudging it worse than before. She's gotten a fair amount of new scars since Hogwarts.  She was by no means that fussy over her own appearance, but…if Sebastian were coming….ugh.  Her make up was definitely fully smeared now.  The ugly scar on her face was peeking through.  Now, Natty was going to yell at her again.

"What if he isn't coming?"  She couldn't stop herself from asking her own reflection.

"Oh, he'll be here alright."  Imelda answered from behind the former Hufflepuff, throwing her now-long cascading hair back behind her shoulders.  "He's a simple man.  Any hint of the ‘greatest witch of our generation’ being here at Hogsmeade and Sebastian will apparate here faster than a diriclaw."

The former Hufflepuff blushed heavily.  "You know the Daily Prophet makes all it up right?  Half of that stuff is just utter rubbish."

Imelda laughed, adjusting the padding on her professional quidditch uniform.  "Yes, yes, humble as ever.  You haven't changed a bit since Hogwarts."

"Imelda," Natsai Onai, the up and coming auror, appeared at their side. "Help me with the decorations!  They're not going to hang themselves!"  

"Duty calls."  Imelda drawled as Natty swept the quidditch player away.

Alone, she sat next to the fireplace, with nothing but her worry.  She couldn't help but speculate if Sebastian had changed at all.  She wondered if she'd ever again see the charming, hot-tempered, loyal Slytherin she met at the first day of Hogwarts.  He'd all be disappeared by the end of their 5th year, replaced by a darker version of the boy she had fallen in love with.  Overcome with grief, she had left Hogwarts and London behind, traveling the world with Natty, far away of any new possible mentions of new Dark wizards in England with wild brown hair and gorgeous chocolate-eyes.  

"I’ve always said that travel broadens the mind."

Her head shot up, almost afraid to see who was going to step through the fireplace.

It was Sebastian Sallow.   The second the pair made eye contact, he couldn't help but smile.  "Well, there's my favorite Hufflepuff."

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

She was dazed.  She could hardly believe that the man before her today was Sebastian.  He had filled in since she had last seen him in 7th year.  His shoulders now broad and strong, his arms thick, and bare forearms sun kissed.  His face was more defined and masculine, freckles now erupting all over his cheeks.  He had expensive well-tailored dress robes that showed off the hard lines of his figure.  The only thing that had stayed the same was his wildly untamed hair, looking as soft as the day she first met him.

The biggest change of all were his chocolate eyes.  They were no longer cold and harsh.  They looked so kind, a couple of soft creases around the edges, warm and inviting.

She stood up from her seat approaching him for a closer look.  She couldn't believe he was even real.

"S-Sebastian, hi!  Wow, you've….you've certainly changed a bit."

"And you've looked just as gorgeous as the day I lost you."

Sebastian was delighted at the way her skin turned pink.  Her blush traveling from her cheeks and spreading to her neck, just like how it used to.  It was a lie, in a way.  Somehow, the most beautiful girl in all of Hogwarts turned even more lovely.  Her body no longer hidden by baggy school robes.  She was now dressed in an Adventurer's outfit.  Dragonhide, leather straps, armor, and buckles adorned the skin tight clothing.  Her clothing gave Sebastian a nice view of her full and very nice curves.  Her eyes which used to be so soft and full of hesitancy were now sharp.  They were quick and bold, daring her enemies to challenge her.

Of course, the biggest difference was the new (or was it now old?) fading scar that was across her nose.  It figured that she of all people would have a scar that only made her look more powerful than ever before.  Sebastian couldn't help but want to duel her once again.  To have a girl as amazing as her knock Sebastian back on his ass with a few well-placed spells.  Their very first duel was still the most thrilling experience Sebastian has ever had.  

"How have you been?  How's Anne?" she asked.

"She's been well.  Wishes, she were here but…you know."  He shrugged.  "We take it day by day.  Some days are better some days are worse."

"Well," she bit her lip in worry, hesitant over what she was about to say.  "If you need any help, just say the word-"

"No," Sebastian gently stopped her.  "I'm through with asking you to give up everything for me.  I might have done it in my youth, but…no longer.  You have my word."  He chuckled darkly.  "Not that it means much given everything that has happened."

Her shoulders softened.  "Sebastian, we were both young and quite stupid.  Those days are behind us now.  I forgave you then, and I still forgive you now.  You did everything out of love.  I can see that now.  What can be a better reason than love to turn to the dark?"

Sebastian laughed, his voice now a deeper rich baritone.  "Well, it's nice to know that I still have one good friend by my side."

She hid her face behind her butterbeer.  Hoping to get away from touchy subjects, she shifted focus.  "What are you up to now?"  She asked.

Sebastian spread his arms out, allowing her to get a good look at the emerald green healer's dress robes he was currently wearing.  "I'm a healer now.  I'm the head of the Department of Irreversible Curses and Dark Maladies at St. Mungo's.  It's a new branch, just founded a year ago, by well, me I guess.  You, Anne, even Ominis, really inspired me to take a bit of a…different path than the one I was headed on."  

She blinked in surprise.  Sebastian?  A healer?  Well, she supposed it made sense.  He was always buried in books when they were in school together, constantly researching the next healing breakthrough for Anne.  It was no wonder that he managed to pick up a thing or two here and there.  "And…that's it I suppose?  No more, dark arts?"

"Now, hold on."  Sebastian teased.  "I didn't say that.  I'm the head researcher into the medical dark arts at St. Mungo's.  A new subject invented by yours truly of course.  There's so much untapped unexplored magic out there, that can be used for good, incorrectly mislabeled or misinterpreted as the dark arts.  It's the cutting edge, it can really help our patients with otherwise incurable diseases."  He laughed at the alarm on her face.  "Don't worry.  No more inferi.  No more unforgivable curses.  No following the advice of a clear lunatic like Salazar Slytherin. Anne is an associate healer on our team when she can make herself available.  Half of my projects would be nowhere without her.  She keeps me in check, making sure everything I do is by the books.  She'll wring my neck if she ever found me even toeing the line of something dangerous."  

She felt slightly bad, jumping to conclusions like that.  "Sebastian, that's…that's amazing to hear!  I'm so glad to know that you and Anne have done so well."

Sebastian took a bold step closer.  "Well, you might have been able to hear about it sooner, have you opened the letters I was sending you."

She winced.  How could she explain herself?  Would he even understand?  How broken her heart was after she left Hogwarts.  How that sly, cunning boy that she first met had turned into a wicked dark wizard who was a stranger to her.  How it tore her to pieces seeing what he became after using the Unforgivable curses.  How terrified of him she was looking into those unrecognizable cold eyes.  Lately, every time she saw his harried looking owl, she was sent into a panic.  All of her life she has only heard bad news.  Her parents.  Lodgok.  The curse of being a Keeper of ancient magic….Professor Figs.  She couldn't bring herself to read any of his letters.  If, Sebastian Sallow had turned into the new Victor Rookwood, who else but she, the Hero of Hogwarts, would be expected to put down the new threat?

"I'm sorry, Sebastian.  I'm a coward."  She admitted.  "I couldn't bring myself to read your letters.  The thought of learning of something awful happening to you.  To Anne."  She shook her head at the thought.  "I couldn't bear it."

Sebastian stepped close, their shoes practically touching.  "And I can't bear the thought of you being alone out there.  Traversing the world all by yourself, on all your dangerous adventures, without me watching your back."

She took step forward.  They were only a breath apart. She inhaled, smelling the rich oak scent and soft cologne that was unmistakably Sebastian.  "Things were a lot easier, when I had you fighting those nasty insects in the Dark Forest with me."

"Spiders."  Sebastian couldn't help but correct.  "Spiders aren't insects."

Her glare had no heat behind it.  "I suppose I deserved that one."  

Sebastian laughed, wanting more than anything in the world, to wrap her up in his arms.  To go all the way back to 5th year where they were sitting together by the lake, watching the sunset.

"You know," he drawled.  "I never did take you to that date to the Three Broomsticks that I promised you, did I?"

She blinked rapidly.  "I nearly forgot.  What, with everything that has happened, that you tried to pursue me during our 5th year."

Well, Sebastian, certainly hasn't forgotten even a second of that night.  "Well, what do you say?  We're here already.  With a lot more friends and a lot less privacy than I planned.  Want to make me a man of my words?"

Feeling bolder now that she was older, she stood on her tip toes, body mere inches from his, planting a soft chaste kiss on his cheek.  "I have a better idea.  Why don't use the very first spell I learned from you, disillusion ourselves, and sneak out of the party.  Let's go back to the lake again, just like back in 5th year. We can bring some butterbeer and some of Poppy's pastries."

He couldn't wipe the smile from his face.  "You do remember."  Wrapping her tightly in his arms, he held her close to his side, casting evanesco over the pair of them.  

"I'll follow your lead." He said, as if they were suddenly back in 5th year, about to fight another goblin camp.  

She laughed.  Her hand found his invisible one, lacing their fingers together.  

The bustle and laughter of the party was loud in the Three Broomsticks as friends and family alike reconnected.  No one noticed how the large oak front doors seemingly opened on their own to a twin pair of laughter disappearing into the moonlit night.

[cardboardqueen]

ok so i read The Goblin Emperor recently (absolutely recommend) and it's given me some thoughts about a:tla specifically post canon zuko

he is the very young very new leader of a nation that's very abruptly lost its previous monarch. He's spent the last few years away from court and almost certainly isn't used to using his court manners even if he does technically know them. He's taking the country in a very different direction than his father with bold new political ideas and radical friends. The only heir to speak of is someone he'd really rather not pass the throne to. While he does have some support from his elders he was absolutely Not trained to take the throne and certainly not with so little warning.

sound familiar?

so now I'm thinking of a post-canon zuko fic of epic proportions that goes into as much detail in the world building and politics as TGE does.

Zuko finding a good secretary jesus christ please

Zuko slowly learning how to talk to his cabinet members as an adult, trying to balance being their Fire Lord, trying to be seen as an equal in competency and not a boy king, and acknowledging that he really isn't up to speed.

Zuko learning all the servant's names

Zuko's struggle not to lose himself in the overwhelming force of being The Fire Lord

learning regular teenage emotional regulation but instead of telling your dad you hate him because he asked you to turn the music down you're screaming at your minister of agriculture in front of the whole cabinet and you can't remember why it was important

he was expecting the assassination attempts and even the coups. He wasn't expecting the more subtle attempts to lock him out of his own government

look i know we all love ignoring the political implications of gay shipping, but zuko is absolutely not in a stable enough position to be the first fire lord to get gay married. we're ignoring the opportunities presented by a well suited marriage of convenience. are they co-conspirators in world betterment and shenanigans? does the fire lady get him to take a fucking break for once? is it a slow burn where they eventually fall in love but like, 7years into being married? do they have elaborate arrangements of 'cultural informants' and ladies in waiting that are just a stream of consensual lovers? some options for your consideration under the cut

Yue (in a yue lives au)

most reassuring to an international audience

nonthreatening to a domestic audience

the optics of marrying the NWT princess are great and logical without requiring too many mental gymnastics

has spent her whole like preparing to do something unpleasant for the sake of her tribe and would probably consent to the marriage

politically powerful but a non-bender, very low chance of a waterbending heir

zuko has grown up around girls that could kill him and respects women, the fire nation might be an improvement on the NWT

once she breaks out of her shell she'd be a snark machine

the in world artists would get a kick out of the water/fire symbolism. there would be so many plays and paintings and poems

i understand that her death has symbolic and narrative importance but let me play here

Mai

relatively reassuring to a domestic audience

minimally objectionable to international audiences

marrying into a family that was powerful and favored in Ozai's time would pacify traditionalists without requiring zuko to actually make traditionalist political decisions

Mai can play the court game even if it drives her mad

azula would have an internal fit but they may be able to maneuver it such that it manifests as azula being driven to make Mai the most successful fire lady that ever was

Random Earth Kingdom Noble

afiak neither bumi nor kuei have children. idk what the heir situation is but i know there's an earth prince in alok so idk

'marrying an earth kingdom noble is a very logically and politically sound move' says zuko's cabinet. 'ok' says zuko, 'which one?' chaos ensues

someone tries to propose mai as an earth kingdom noble because her father was governor of New Ozai. the eyeroll is audible

great potential for OC shenanigans

Suki

sokka would throw a fit

potential for lovely zukki ot3 a la many of erisenyo's fics

allying with an important figure from mostly neutral kiyoshi island might translate to a mostly neutral political move and minimize outrage on all sides

she can make very heavy handed speeches about 'if we can forgive him so can you' when the earth kingdom representatives start getting mean

gives her an excuse to stay and keep and eye on zuko (and keep some warriors around to keep an eye on him too)

even if she didn't grow up in court suki is sharp, she'd pick up on the important bits quick and the rest she could pass off as her quaint provincial upbringing

imagine how the fire nation court fashion would respond to the Fire Lady in the Kiyoshi Warrior Gear. the heat exhaustion alone

Toph

objectively hilarious

i don't actually think it fits with her character arc about independence and growth but it's not significantly worse than making her a cop sooo

i really don't ship them so i'm imagining this for practicalities and logistics only but you do you

it would be absolutely hilarious for the bei fongs to go from 'no we have no children' to 'yes we would like to propose that our daughter marry the fire lord' overnight. even funnier if it's toph's idea and she has to wrangle proof that she is actually the heir of one of the wealthiest families in the earth kingdom

relatively reassuring to an international audience

the domestic audience doesn't know what to think. on paper she's a foreign merchant's daughter which is fine. in reality didn't she destroy like 10 war balloons? is that a war crime? she won't stop jump scaring the treasurer?

she'd get a kick out of redesigning all the parts of the palace that make zuko sad

the agni kai arena is now her earthbending practice ground, i hope you weren't attached to those tiles!

zuko's cabinet is free of secret loyalists in a week. toph spends her first month there roaming the halls listening for lying hearts

minor concern of earthbending heirs? she gets a kick out of all the anxiety

toph and azula would be hysterical to see interact. like introducing two cats through a bathroom door. maybe they fall in love idk. they almost certainly fuck at least once. their sparring matches threaten to destabilize the architecture and also the rim of caldera city

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

FourRaccoonsInACoat Masterlist

Thanks for stopping by my masterlist, I am thrilled there are people who are interested in my writing! You may be asking, did I really create a logo for a nonexistent book series that only exists in the BG3 universe and features Malta the crime-fighting cat, all for the sake of a gag?

Yes. Yes I did. I will speak no more on the matter.

My fanfiction is centered around Baldur's Gate 3 and explores the romance between Astarion and the Dark Urge. The Durge MC in my works is based on my first BG3 Durge, a female half-drow warlock named Eli. I currently have one ongoing chapter fic, as well as a few one shots that all take place in the same universe.

I write fanfiction for myself as a way to decompress from life and because I enjoy sharing my stories with others. It legitimately makes my day when someone is entertained by my writing, so thank you for every comment, like, message and kudo. Much love and appreciation to you all!

Also, if you're here for BG3 Incorrect Quotes, follow that link for the masterlist.

____________________

AO3 Account - All of my works are crossposted to AO3.

Ongoing Work

Head Full of Ghosts:

Current Rating: M

Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Eli has spent a lot of time combing through her fractured psyche, trying to piece together any semblance of facts about who she was before she awoke on a mind flayer nautiloid. In all that self-reflection, she has concluded there are two things she is very good at. Killing people and drinking.

Neither of which is proving very useful as she tries to navigate interpersonal pitfalls after being appointed leader of a ragtag group of maladjusted misfits who are trying to source a cure for the illithid tadpoles in their heads. As if that isn't problematic enough, she's also having to contend with the growing affections between herself and the group's resident vampire spawn, Astarion.

Between fanatic cultists, goblin raids, murderous urges and cryptic memory loss, Eli figures a relationship is the last thing she ought to get herself wrapped up in. And from what she's seen of Astarion, the cavalier rogue seems to have his own breeds of specters haunting his steps.

Neither one of them has any business mucking about with romance. But, neither one of them is particularly good at staying away from things that entice.

____________________

One Shots

In chronological order:

Fall for Me ---> Faint of Heart ---> Midnight Prayer

Fall for Me

Rating: E NSFW18+

Astarion wakes from a nightmare and goes to Eli, seeking reassurance as he struggles with the denial of his feelings. The last thing he wants to do is give someone else control over him, not after he’s so recently regained a taste of freedom. Over the past 200 years, every relationship Astarion was involved in had been nothing more than a means to an end, with Astarion either playing the role of manipulator or the one being manipulated. Attachments were leverage, giving someone a hook they were able to dig their claws into in order to gain ground. Isolating himself from connecting with others was how he had survived.

This, however…this was different. 

Rating: M

Faint of Heart

Somewhere along the way, more and more truth has begun to slip into the words Astarion has been using to charm Eli into his bed. He's not sure when it started, but sometime between their passionate nights and hard fought days, genuine feelings began to stir.

It all comes to a head after the crew stages a prison break out of Moonrise Towers. Now, during a rare evening of respite, Astarion is determined to make a confession, regardless of his fears over the fallout.

Rating: M

Midnight Prayer

Neither Eli nor Astarion knows what they're doing when it comes to romance. Their combined histories with healthy relationships adds up to an unsurprising total of zero. Astarion once admitted to Eli that he couldn’t remember ever bedding the same person twice. And Eli…well, she can't remember anything, frankly. Her memories of past lovers are nonexistent…at least…

At least until today. Today, when they’d finally met the infamous Enver Gortash.

[unreadpoppy]

Wild Magic Surge

A little something based on a moment that happened while I played. Enjoy.

Summary: Gwen discovers that she can summon cambions midway through a particularly nasty fight.

This was a most inopportune time. 

They were losing the fight. Badly. Gale was crying for help, with Halsin trying to get near him to heal the wizard up. Gwen had misty stepped too far away from Shadowheart, and so the cleric couldn’t see where she was. Dame Aylin was a great help but she kept missing and Rolan was doing his best to support. 

‘I never figured a wizard would be this hard to kill’ Gwen thought to herself. 

As she managed to kill the opponent closest to her, Gwen began to mentally count how many scrolls of revivification she had, for the odds were distinctively not in their favor. 

And that’s when she felt it. That tingling feeling at the tip of her fingers, the way the air almost began to move differently. While Gwen loved her powers, there was one thing that was sure to cause problems.

Wild magic surge. 

She couldn’t control it when it happened nor what it brought. Sometimes, she’d go weeks without having trouble. Others, it was every day. But no matter when, it always happened when Gwen least needed it. For example, one time the surge made her, Karlach and Shadowheart all become cats and dogs. Cat Karlach had still been able to kill a goblin, so it wasn’t that worrisome then.

Still, she didn’t like her odds. 

As Gwen cast magic missile on her enemies, she felt the effects of a wild magic surge taking place. In a puff of smoke, she had summoned a being from another plane. Usually, she’d expect a mephit but this time it was a familiar figure. 

In fact, a very familiar cambion. 

Raphael. 

…

Raphael was having a peaceful day, for once since meeting the tadpole adventurers, when he was snatched from his house by forces unknown. Looking around, he seemed to be in some sort of tower, in a balcony, surrounded by books. 

But also, he was very clearly in the middle of a fight. 

He saw Gale of Waterdeep, on the other side of the room, in a balcony, casting spells from a safe distance. A bear was underneath him, beside the ladder, surrounded by two elementals. Shadowheart, the cleric, had slipped on the mud in the floor and was prone. The aasimar missed yet again and a tiefling Raphael had never seen before cast a spell powerful enough to end one of the elements. 

“Oh great, what in the hells are you doing here?” He heard a familiar female voice behind him speak up. 

It was the little mouse, Gwen, all bruised and bloody.. Looking down, a red haired man lay beside her, probably dead. 

“I should ask you.” He exclaimed, hearing the wizard shouting as he cast a spell. “How did you summon me?!”

“I didn’t! It just happened!” She shouted. Gwen looked past him at the chaos happening in battle. “You know what? Since you’re already here, you might as well help!” She said. 

“WHAT?!” He shouted. You will not make me-” 

Before he could finish, another elemental had gotten up to where they were and beat him. Raphael slowly turned around, angry. Without a moment’s hesitation, he struck the creature, wounding it badly. 

Gwen saw that and smiled. “That was good! Keep it up.” She said. Raphael rolled his eyes. 

…

Eventually, all but one of the elementals were dead. 

“I can’t see him!” Shadowheart shouted towards Gwen. “I think they became invisible.” 

The tiefling groaned. “Gale, do you have any see invisibility scrolls?” 

The wizard rummaged through his things but found nothing. He shook his head. Gwen sighed. The good thing about the creature turning invisible was that it allowed the party some time to rest. 

The bad part is that, thanks to Volo’s botched surgery, Gwen was the only one capable of seeing the invisible. She would have to go where the elemental had last been seen by anybody and hope she’d be able to off it before it knocked her out instead. 

“What’s happening?” Raphael asked. At this point, he had transformed into his more devilish form, wings spreading around. 

“There’s one elemental left and the bitch turned invisible.” She brushed past him, towards the ladder. “I have to go find it.”

Before he could argue, considering how in such a poor state she was, Gwen had already misty stepped towards one of the floating furniture. 

The elemental was revealed and before she could even react, the creature struck her, Gwen falling down. However, Shadowheart dealt the final blow and soon, the druid Halsin - now back to his normal form - rushed towards the tiefling, healing her up. 

Raphael flew down to where they were, seeing Gwen standing up on shaky legs, supported by the large elf. The others had gathered around. 

“What are you doing here?” The cleric asked him.

He pointed a clawed finger towards Gwen. “She summoned me here, I do not know how.”

“I think…it was… the surge.” She breathed out. Halsin cast another healing spell. 

“Ah, wild magic surge.” Gale exclaimed. “I remember reading somewhere that powerful sorcerers were capable of summoning cambions to our plane of existence during one of these events.” He looked Raphael up and down. “This is probably what happened. 

The devil scrunched his nose. He was aware of how the wizard felt towards him but chose to ignore it. For now. 

“I shall take my leave, then.” Raphael turned to look at the Nightsong snapping the red haired wizard’s back. “Before she does that to me.” 

Gwen chuckled, clutching her side as she did so. “Well, thanks for the help.” He nodded his head and snapped himself away. 

“This was…weird.” The druid said.

“Yeah.” Gwen said. “Let’s hope this doesn’t happen again. We already have Mizora to deal with, don’t need another cambion fooling around.” 

[jewishbarbies]

I didn't know about the antisemitism in hp because while I wasn't explicitly taught "this is antisemitic" I still learned those tropes. I just didn't know they they were tropes. The only thing I knew was nazi propaganda, because that was in textbooks. We didn't learn about everyday antisemitism. We didn't learn about the history of jews in any other country. And that doesn't excuse me or the school I went to. But I know better now, and I can look around and recognise certain tropes. But I can also recognise that jkr was hateful to so many different groups of people. Jews, the Irish, asian people, gay people, trans people, ironically women in general (Ginny Weasley in particular who only existed as a character for Harry to save and get married and have babies with) and women who like "girly" things (Lavender Brown deserved better.)

at this point, so much of pop culture is steeped in these antisemitic things (tropes, imagery, caricatures, etc.) and a lot of fantasy lore in some areas is just antisemitic to its core so while I’m angry I have to sift through the distressing nonsense, I try not to get angry at people who genuinely don’t understand. because you can spread antisemitism while not being an antisemite. the entirety of the witch aesthetic is stolen and twisted from jewish caricatures, antisemitic history, and practices appropriated from indigenous cultures - but that’s just The Witch now. same with goblins. that’s just what That Thing is to people now, so if you want to stop it, you have to throw the whole thing away and barely anyone is actually willing to do that. on top of that, they believe they don’t have to.

with HP specifically, I don’t blame anyone for not picking up on the bigotry from the books they read as children. now, if you reread it as an adult and still don’t get it, that’s another issue. but at least with the antisemitism, it’s much more obvious with the movies and a lot of people try to excuse JKR from it bc of that, when she had such a heavy hand in making those films. she had/has enough sway to change literally anything. and I think a lot of people understood the antisemitism more when they could see just what these goblins were supposed to look like, and that brought it all together. however, there are people obsessed with goblins (I think there’s a lot of neurodivergent people who have a special interest in goblins for one reason or another and that makes it more difficult to let go, in my experience) who absolutely refuse to come to terms with the antisemitic nature of the creature to begin with, when it’s antisemitic originally AND in JKR’s interpretation. I never got into HP so I didn’t know about the goblins, having not seen the movies, and it was really easy to not interact with it once I did. I can genuinely understand how heartbreaking it is to find out something you love goes against what you believe in, bc for jews it’s just part of our lives. we find out creators of and the things we like are nazis or antisemitic every single day. moreso than usual as of late.

imo the racism and general bigotry of JKR should be more than enough for HP fans who claim to care about other people, but it’s hella odd that antisemitism is the sticking point for so many people. they’ll say they’re streaming the movies and playing the games and reading the books but but but they’re not giving money to JKR and therefore not supporting her transphobia and racism, but you mention her antisemitism and the fact that the HP game was just antisemitism the simulator and they immediately dismiss it. her bigotry is embedded in the work. it’s in the imagery of the franchise. hell, there’s a storyline where a villain is a villain bc he wanted to stop the holocaust. that speaks for itself, and should be enough for literal adults.

(on the It’s The Thing Now point, it’s happening with lizard people as well. everyone is calling themselves a goblin and making lizard people jokes and it’s just apart of the young people dialogue now. I could go on for hours but I think I made my point.)

[kingkenzieofmold]

My favourite dungeon and dragons character duo I have ever played. Alastair a Paladin of devotion and Raccoon a Goblin Child Artificer!

Backstory Raccoon a goblin child, grew up in the city alone. shunned from society decided to make herself a family from trash. It was during her exploration outside the city that she found a warforge half buried underground, hidden. Opening a few panels she finds a lose power core. Snapping the core back into place. He powers on, static blares out of his mouth, unable to speak. Raccoon terrified runs and hides behind the ruins.

Alastair once just a machine who swore to his creators an oath of devotion to the people. Forced to turn on his creators to protect the innocent from them. He would be knocked down as his core dislodges from a fatel blow. He would later sleep for centuries before awakening with a jolt. His body deteriorated from the weathers and years his voice box static. he would attempt to coax the hiding child from her spot unable to move. She would watch him struggle with rebuilding himself enough to move and would slowly make her way to him. She would begin helping repair his body, asking questions even though she got no answers. Nodding along to each questions, together they finish repairs by sun down. He would motion for paper writing down his words but soon learns his new companion can’t read. Raccoon offers him to be part of her family and he would accept, mentally vowing to protect her till the end.

I hoped you enjoyed! I love them both dearly<3

[entropiceye1342]

Spoiler free review for Netflix's live action One Piece!

WOW.

A lot of stuff to love! I absolutely ADORE this take on the adventure of the Straw Hat Pirates!

The Straw Hats are all cast perfectly, the supporting cast is spot on. Everyone NAILS their characters!

Give the man a crown!

Iñaki Godoy as Luffy is goofy and oblivious in all the right ways. He sticks the perfect landing of the emotional intelligence that was crucial to bring the deeper side of Luffy to life, and doesn't neglect the hyperactive child side either! Seeing him gleefully bounce around - both in and out of fights- was special. The CGI was pretty good! Better than I expected, really. I appreciate making Luffy a little more level-headed, it's a good choice to tone down the chaos goblin for live action 🤣

It was magnificent to see Luffy grow into a "real" pirate in this arc, and he will be the KING!

Mackenyu as Zoro is a bit "too cool" but honestly I expected it to happen, people tend to overlook the fact that 90% of the time he's just as dumb as Luffy 🤷 but MAN is he cool. He really surpassed my expectations for the fight scenes, and did not skip on the brutality! 3 Sword Style was stunningly realized and incredible fun to watch- even without drawing a single blade!

His one liners and sarcasm are on point, ESPECIALLY regarding Sanji 🤣

Emily Rudd as Nami is INCREDIBLE. Smart as a whip and wily as ever, this cat burglar lands on her feet! In and out of combat, Nami is quick on her feet and with her wit. One Piece passes the Bechdel test once again, and her story is every bit the emotional powerhouse as its manga and anime counterparts- better in some moments! 'Nuff said.

Jacob Romero Gibson as Usopp is delightful, though unfortunately he doesn't get as much time to shine as the others. When he does though, it's fantastic!

He really got the little things down about the character without needing to be as over the top as his counterparts- a bullseye from the sniper!

Sanji is perfect as well, you can SEE the training Taz Skylar went through for the part, from the mouth watering food to the killer martial arts. Every bit as fun to watch as the rest of the Monster Trio! My expectations for him were already high, and he kicked them into the stratosphere.

I'm glad they toned down the flirting, they found the right balance and played it well. Sanji matches Zoro in the bickering spectacularly, an absolute must that exceeded my hopes in both of their performances.

I'm not gonna list everyone but because I love this stupid fucking clown:

Jeff Ward as Buggy is an absolute TREAT, I am a huge fan of this take on the character. The perfect storm of bumbling dipshit who wants to be taken seriously, but still pretty intimidating at times. LOVE it. His jokes are GOLD.

Speaking of! Gold Roger, the man who started it all! *mwah!* Dazzling performances from him AND the Marines.

The few nitpicks I have are minor, the childhood acting ranges from ok to abysmal, Lily Fisher as young Nami is a notable standout. Some of the "minor" characters suffer from wooden acting, but honestly that's about the worst of it.

The Fishmen look a little low budget in their early appearances, but are absolutely PERFECT when they are the ones in the spotlight. Absolutely phenomenal work from McKinley Belcher III, my biggest fear from this was Arlong being done wrong and he CRUSHED IT!

The soundtrack was rousing, it truly felt like a call to adventure! And above all the SET DESIGN 😭

They TRULY brought the world that Oda Senseii has been drawing for us all these years, to life.

And now, anime One Piece is trending on Netflix.

THE GREAT PIRATE ERA IS HERE!

Here's to hoping Netflix doesn't Netflix it 🍻

What did you think?

Especially if this is your introduction to One Piece, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts!

[mythrae]

Invisible String

Part One: Time, Curious Time

Summary: Divya is surprised to see Dammon at the tiefling party, he’s surprised she’s even speaking to her at all. And they're both surprised they have feelings for each other.

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: 18+ (minors do not interact), things get a bit frisky, slight blood mention, otherwise just fluffy (Dammon understands consent!)

Author’s Notes:

Divya (pronounced Dih-vee-yah) is a Zariel tiefling monk. She’s also pictured below until I can find a better pic of them together.

The work title is based on the Chinese legend of the Red Thread of Fate, that there is an invisible red cord around the finger of those that are destined to meet one another, regardless of place, time, or circumstance. The magical cord may stretch or tangle, but cannot break.

Thought it was interesting how we interact with Dammon in all three acts of BG3, almost as if it was fate that brought us together 👀 so enjoy. This man needs some lovin’ and I’m gonna give it to him whether you like it or not!

Read it here on ao3 :)

“Looks like you’ve saved us once again, our noble hero.”

Dammon raised a chalice from his place at the campfire, cheering to Divya and her party on a job well done. It was no easy feat infiltrating to goblin camp and taking down its leaders, but with the fearless tiefling monk as their figurehead, anything was possible.

To celebrate their triumphant success, Zevlor had wanted to throw a proper party back at their camp, and invited all the tiefling refugees to join in on the fun. They knew there was still trouble ahead as they made the dangerous trek to Baldur’s Gate. But for now, they drank, they danced, they reveled in their own company.

They’re anticipated darker days ahead once they left the grove. But for the first time in a long time, the tieflings felt a sense of peace.

“I know I would have loved to see you take those goblins down.” He continued, “especially only using your fists. It’s remarkable what you can do without a weapon, you know.”

“Ah, thank you, Dammon.” She replied, taking a seat in the spot next to him, leaning back against the boulder behind her. “Hopefully things stay quiet for now, though, and we don’t have to battle any more goblins off. I’ve had enough adventure to tire me out for a lifetime.”

“Agreed.” He said, swiveling his red wine in his hand before taking a languid sip.

Divya looked out at the rest of the party-goers. Rolan was showing a few new tricks to Cal and Lia, Alfira was performing her newest song in dedication to Lihara, and she spied Lakrissa getting a little friendly with one of her own party members. There were a few that chose to simply watch, but everyone was smiling, happy for the first time in a long time.

“Seems most everyone’s having themselves a good time tonight. Are you?” She turned to face Dammon, his gaze watching the flames flicker in the air.

He grinned. “Hm, well now I am.”

In that moment, she thanked the Gods it was dark enough that he couldn't see her blush.

“Y’know, I’m not really one to attend gatherings like this.” He continued. “I usually like to keep to myself, if you couldn’t tell. But, well…”

He didn’t even think he’d get the chance to speak to her tonight. With how popular she had become amongst the tieflings in the grove, there wasn’t anybody who didn’t want to speak to her, to sing her praises, for giving them a second chance at life after the fall of Elturel.

Yet, here she was, sitting next to him by the fire, a smile creeping across her face as she pulled her chalice away from her lips. Full, plump, a deep maroon…

Dammon couldn’t help but wonder what her lips tasted like.

“… I wanted to see you again, before we left for Baldur’s Gate.” He finished, his eyes still gazing into the fire.

“Oh, really? And why’s that?” She playfully nudged him with her shoulder.

Though he tried to play it cool, he was burning redder than all of the Nine Hells combined.

“I’ll just... miss seeing you around the grove.” He confessed, “You have a face that few could forget.”

She chucked a bit to herself, “Funny, I was going to say the same thing about you.”

She had definitely drank a little more than her usual fill of wine tonight, giving her some more confidence than she usually had. Plus, she knew he hadn’t seen her in her usual camp attire, which was a bit more revealing than what she usually wore. Seeing the way his eyes gazed upon her form made her want to be more bold, more forward with him. There were many things she wanted to say to the infernal mechanic right now, but she knew if her tongue slipped too much, she’d regret them in the morning.

She sensed Dammon move a bit closer to her, his fingers accidentally brushing against her hand.

“Ah, I’m sorry about that…”

“Don’t be.”

She took his hand in her own, gently rubbing his worn, dry knuckles with the soft pad of her thumb.

“I don’t mind it a bit.”

For a moment, Divya and Dammon locked eyes. His piercing blue gaze, glowing with Hellfire, felt as if it was cutting right through her skin, staring deep into her soul. The warmth in his smile made her heart nearly jump out of her chest — if she didn’t calm down, she just might burst. It felt weirdly intimate, for him to look at her this way. Like they were soulmates who had fallen in love ages ago, raised a family together, and intended to spend the rest of their days as each other’s lover, no matter where life took them.

Something about him felt… right.

But the moment was over as quickly as it started.

“Oi, Div!” She heard her fiery tiefling friend shout, startling them both, “You two should kiss!”

Divya’s hand moved from Dammon’s as her eyes darted over the roaring campfire. Above the flickering flames, she saw Karlach, joined at her tent by Wyll and Astarion. They were watching quite attentively, waiting to see who would make the first move.

“Gods above…” she muttered, her tail twitching in embarrassment. “Have you been watching us this whole time?”

“We’ve been watching for long enough,” Astarion chimes in. “But we want to see some action, darling! Put on a show for us!”

Chucking a bit, Dammon played along with the pale elf. “Hey now, we can’t get too hot and heavy out in the open, or else Karlach’s engine might explode!”

Gods, help me...

“Please excuse my companions here,” Wyll calls out, placing his hands on Astarion’s shoulders. “They’ve had a few too many tonight. I think it’s time to get them some rest.”

“What are you talking about?” Astarion retorted, shrugging off the warlock’s touch, “I haven’t even had anything to drink yet!”

Dammon laughed as he sipped the last few drops of his wine. “They seem like a wild lot.”

“You don’t even want to know the half of it.”

He looked up at the twinkling night sky, the full moon rising higher and higher above camp. “Seems it is getting a bit late, though.”

“Sad, isn’t it? We haven’t had a single moment to ourselves.” She tutted, taking another sip from her chalice.

“Well, I’m happy to share any moment with you.”

“Really?”

“I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.”

“Well…” she hesitated, realizing what she was about to ask him before actually saying it aloud. It had been a long time since she had been with anyone, in that sort of sense. Especially since Elturel had fallen, and her whole life got turned upside down.

But the way Dammon looked at her — Gods, the way she felt herself melt under his gaze — made her feel excited, anxious, and lustful, all at once.

“… if you’d like, you can come back to my tent later, once things have settled down a bit.”

She couldn’t take the words back know, she just had to hope that he was feeling the same way about her.

“I’d love to.” He says, giving her a wink before standing up. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

***

Divya was usually calm and collected while in battle. Escaping the Nautiloud? Easy. Fighting off hoards of goblins? Not a problem.

But right now, for the first time in a long time, she was anxious.

When was the last time she shared a bed with another? Sure, she’s had a few partners that got so lucky, but she had known these people more than a tenday. Sure, she felt close to the handsome tiefling, but there was so much she didn't know about him. What if he tried to slit her throat in the middle of the night?

She was already feeling nervous about him visiting her tent tonight. But she was also worried about him not showing up at all.

Rejection from anyone feels awful. She's dealt with it, she's also given it. Hells, she had to reject Gale's advances just the other day. But a rejection from Dammon would hurt worse than getting a stake jabbed through her heart.

Luckily, she didn't have to wait long. As soon as that thought crossed her mind, she heard the rustle of grass further out in the trees, then the light tapping of footsteps in the dirt of their camp. Soft, as if not to disturb the others. The sounds came closer and closer to her tent, until she saw a familiar shape standing at the entrance.

“Div?” Dammon whispered, “Are you awake?”

She opened the flap to her tent, her nerves rising as she saw him actually coming to see her. He has changed from his apron into a much more comfortable shirt and pair of trousers, which clung to his body in all the right places. He wasn’t even wearing his green scarf, her cheeks warm from seeing his chest peeking through the neckline of his shirt…

“Dammon!” She said softly, unable to hide the excitement in her voice. “I’m surprised you actually came.”

“And miss out on seeing your beautiful face again?” He replied, dipping his head into the entrance of the tent as he sat across from her. “Not a chance.”

“Beautiful?” She nearly laughed out loud, “I don’t think anyone has ever called me beautiful after defeating an entire goblin camp before.”

“I s’pose there’s a first time for everything.” He smiled, reaching and cupping her face with his hands. His hands were rough, cracked from years spent working in the forge, but his touch was delicate, soft, like he didn’t want to break her.

Holding Divya’s face so close to his own, Dammon never noticed how many freckles she had, sprinkled across her cheeks like the stars above. He saw her spots where her skin lost its pigmentation, no doubt a bit of an insecurity of hers. Her septum piercing, one that he didn't see too often among other tieflings. And her eyes, that didn’t have the same Hellfire glow that many of their had, but glowed in their own way…

All of it made her who she is. And he thought everything about her was beautiful.

When he kissed her for the first time, he was gentle, careful, as if he could make her fall to pieces if he did too much, too soon. Her lips tasted like the wine she was sipping on through the night — red, rich, with a just hint of sweetness.

Absolutely delicious.

When she kissed him back, he craved her more, wanting to get drunk off her lips alone. Caution was thrown to the wayside as their kiss went deeper and deeper, as one of his hands moved to the nape of her neck and the other at her waist. Gods, the way the soft skin of her body felt under his touch nearly made him melt. It tugged at his loins so greatly, he was almost ready to burst.

Divya pulled on Dammon’s shirt collar, as if begging him to give her more. He obliged, shifting their bodies so she laid on her back and he was mounted over her. He broke the kiss to plant extra pecks along her jawline, her neck, until he bit her — hard, hearing her yelp in delight.

“Nine Hells, I could listen to that sound all day.”

His hot, wet tongue lapped at the broken skin, cleaning up the little drops of blood seeping from her wound.

“That is, as long as I’m the one making you sound like that.”

He moved up to kiss her lips once more, his hunger growing by the moment. She could sense his hands setting themselves at her waist as his lower body pressed into hers. Her breath hitched as she felt that his desire had grown for her, rather large and intimidating. One of his hands slid itself under her top, fondling the swell of her breast…

Stop, her mind interrupted her train of thought, her eyes going wide with panic, you’re not ready for this yet.

As much as her body had told her to give herself to him tonight, her mind was begging her to slow things down.

It wasn’t that she had a bad feeling about the infernal mechanic on top of her, not at all. But in her heart, she wasn't ready for this kind of divine intimacy, for their two bodies to quite literally become one. With him, she wanted to take her time.

She had real feelings for him. And over time, as long as they stayed alive, she wanted something real between them.

“Ah, Dammon…” she breaks their kiss, taking a moment to catch her breath.

“Yes, dear?”

“Can we… can we take this a bit slower, please?” She turned away from him, feeling embarrassed for interrupting him so quickly, “I’m, ah...”

“Are you okay?”

Her head spun back to look at his face, eyes glowing like baby blue stars in the midnight sky.

Fuck, he’s so handsome.

“I’m okay, promise. I just might… not be ready for all this right now.”

In the past, if she told someone she wasn’t ready to spend a night like that with them, they would usually get angry with her, sometimes even storming away like a child throwing a tantrum. It was something she was used to by now, with long term partners and late night trysts alike.

But Dammon? He was different.

“I understand, trust me.” He replied, shifting his weight back to give her some space to breathe. “Do you… want me to stay with you?”

She sat up in her bedroll, reaching to hold his hands in her own. “I do, please. I don’t know when I’ll see you again.”

“Oh, it’ll be sooner than you know it, I’m sure.” He smiled, kissing the back of each of her hands.

“I hope so,” she sighed. “Um, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Can… can you just hold me?” she asked sheepishly.

“Your wish is my command.”

Divya shifted in her bedroll, giving Dammon space to lie on his back. As he settled himself on the wool blanket, she rolled to her side, resting her head on his strong, sturdy chest. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling the two of them close together, keeping them warm as a cool breeze blew through their camp.

“Mmm, this feels nice,” she whispered.

“Haven’t had a good night’s rest in a while?”

“Oh, are you kidding? With this bunch? Definitely not!”

She shared with him stories of their journey so far — infiltrating a dungeon of massive spiders, meeting a devil (hells, multiple devils, actually), running into a bugbear rutting an ogre, and even taking down a hag in her own lair.

“We also met this mummy in a crypt named Withers who stays with us in camp,” she continued, “and I think he actually might be a God!”

“You don’t say?” He replied, nearly in disbelief. “Seems like you’ve got quite the party to share your travels with.”

“They sure are… different, but they’re great companions.” She concluded. “Say, have you done a lot of adventuring? At least, before Elturel fell.”

“Can’t say I have, honestly.” He answered. “I’ve spent most of my years working in the forge, getting better and better at my craft.”

“And it’s definitely paid off,” she said, “My colleagues have enjoyed using the weapons you’ve made for us.”

“Really? Well, that’s a surprise, considering the state of my shop.”

“Didn’t you mention having to work with wooden tools?”

“Yes, Gods yes! I don’t know what those damned druid’s were thinking.”

Dammon shared how he had to scavenge for metal, pilfering through the corpses of dead goblins to bring to his little forge. How the forge couldn’t get as hot as he wanted it to be, so he worried that the quality of his weapons he made had declined. And how the elderly human across the way, Auntie Ethel, had made odd passes at him and offered to give him as much metal he would ever want — until one day, she vanished, never stepping foot back in the grove.

As he drabbled on about his time in the grove, he realized that the female tiefling had fallen silent. Turning his head, he saw she was fast asleep in his arms.

Beautiful, even as she sleeps.

“Sleep well, Divya.” He whispers, his lips brushing the tip of her nose as he kissed her one last time before he dozed off.

***

Dammon woke up before the sun has crept over the horizon. As he slowly gained consciousness, he realized that in the night, the two had shifted positions — her back was pressed into his chest, his arm wrapped around her, fingers intertwined. Looking down, he also noticed the tips of their tails were wrapped together.

Carefully, he sat up in the tent, observing Divya as she slept soundly in her bedroll. He watched how her chest rose and fell with every breath she took, the curl of her lashes as they rested perfectly on the top of her cheeks, the way her lips were slightly parted while she slept, how she laid her hand to support her head, even with a pillow underneath…

He wasn't lying to himself when he thought that every part of her was beautiful.

He moved a stray hair from her face, planting a gentle kiss on her temple. She stirred lightly, and Dammon thought up a quick prayer to the Gods above that she wouldn’t wake up in that moment.

"Mmm... Dammon..." she mumbled, a soft smile crossing her face.

In that moment, he could feel her pulling at his heartstrings.

Hells, he didn’t want to leave her, not yet. But Zevlor insisted that the refugees begin their trek Baldur’s Gate as soon as dawn broke. If he didn't make it to the caravan in time, he would get at best an earful from their leader. At worst... he didn't even want to fathom.

But what if this was the last moment he would ever spend with Divya at his side? What if the tieflings didn't make it to the city? What if she was killed before he got to see her again?

I have to fight on, he thought. If not for my future, then for her to be a part of it. And just hope she does the same for me.

He leaned in one last time, pressing a goodbye kiss to her cheek. He wanted to savor this moment, for he didn’t know when he would see her again

"See ya soon, Div."

In the dewy morning fog, Dammon left the party’s campsite and began his journey to Baldur's Gate, to his new start at life. And he hoped that some day, Divya could share it with him.

Click here to read pt 2 :)

[flooficandii]

all the school doodles i have so far of a certain spider and her villains!!

a few notes:

so far i have experimental designs for paloma's black cat (felicity hwang) and green goblin (nadia osborne- originally written above as norma osborn)

they both have. Very interesting relationships with paloma both in and out of costume

felicity is a model moonlighting as a thief that pulls major fashion heists. paloma pascual is one of the big names she targets

she's utterly and completely infatuated with spider-velvet and believes she can be a better lover to her

nadia osborne is the matriarch of the osborn fashion house, of which paloma was a part of before becoming an independent designer

nadia played a big part in paloma's career, acting as a mentor and mother figure to her. the two had a falling out and are now rival designers

theres a lot of very fucked up mother-daughter dynamics there that im excited to explore TEEHEE GIGGLES

speaking of fucked up!! surprise!!!!! in paloma's universe miguel is an mj variant! (miguel javier witrago-o'hara)

this miguel is actually a pretty cool person and also paloma's husband

ex-husband**** (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

they were married.... once . then paloma had to choose between a career she'd built from the very foundation and the love of her life

🤭

this totally has no bearing on how she acts with earth-928b miguel btw... haha absolutely none at all... i swear i promsies...

[thebawdybaldurian]

BG3FicFeb Day 12

SFW: Karlach introduces Tav to Dammon, and the bard tries her hardest to stoke the love connection between the two tieflings.

NSFW: Gale and his tiefling love interest share a bed after her dramatic rescue from Moonrise. Yet to confess their true feelings for one another, they share their bodies for the first time instead.

SFW: Meeting Favorite NPC

Background: Karlach has just returned with the tiefling caravan, having traveled with Halsin and Gale back to the Grove for a few days after the goblin camp was cleared. Karlach is a fan of some of Tav’s literary work, including a steamy romance book featuring a tiefling heroine.

“So,” Tav rejoined Karlach after finishing a few things for the party later in the evening. “When are you going to introduce me to this handsome mechanic of yours?” Tav asked, glancing over at the golden-skinned tiefling currently helping chop wood. “He’s barely taken his eyes off you.”

“Really?” Karlach nervously played with one of the buckles on her clothing.

“Mmmmhmm,” Tav grinned. “Every moment he hasn’t been helping someone with something. He seems lovely.”

“He…” Karlach glanced over at him, catching his eye. “I really like him,” she waved at him, beckoning him over.

“Hi, I’m Tav!” She reached out for his hand as he approached. “Wow, strong grip,” she prepared to butter up the both of them. “It’s no wonder she couldn’t stop talking about your prowess.”

“Has she?” Dammon blushed slightly, looking at Karlach. Karlach’s cheeks had already darkened and she glanced over at Tav wondering what she was doing.

“Oh yes, which speaks highly of you. She’s an excellent judge of character, alongside that killer body of hers. She’s the whole package really.”

“Tav!” Karlach gritted her teeth.

“You know she killed an entire room of goblins single-handedly and one of them still proposed to her with his dying breath.”

“Wow,” Dammon laughed, his cheeks still flushed.

“I’m serious,” Tav turned and patted the hidden scar on her back. “One of them stabbed me and she defended me with her life. She’s an amazing friend,” Tav gave Karlach a genuine smile, wishing she could hug her.

“Oh, what are friends for,” Karlach grinned widely, feeling a little sentimental herself. “And who would write the sequel to The Hellion of Hammerstaad if you’d died?” She nudged Tav carefully with her elbow.

“You wrote that?” Dammon looked at Tav curiously.

“You’ve read it?” Both women said nearly at once.

“Skimmed it,” he smiled. “No offense. I just thought Iraeya should’ve ended up with the tiefling ship captain instead.”

“But she and Alain were perfect for one another,” Karlach exclaimed, having read the book several times over.

“Perhaps in another book,” Dammon smiled. “But I still think he had some of his past to work through before he could give his heart fully to her.”

“Skimmed, huh,” Karlach teased him.

“Maybe that is something to explore in the next book,” Tav grinned widely. Not many would have caught onto the complexity of Alain’s character arc so accurately. She knew Karlach was in good hands with the handsome mechanic, in several respects. “Will you join us at our table tonight?” She asked, hoping to continue the love connection.

“Of course,” Dammon nodded with another smile at Karlach.

NSFW: Tav and LI forced to share a confined space or bedroll before confessing feelings

I couldn’t come up with a scenario where this happens with my Tav and either of her LIs, so I decided to use Gale and his OC LI, Syma.

Background: Syma is a tiefling sorcerer that Gale met at the post-goblin camp party. They spent the evening flirting, the excitement of their new connection causing Gale’s orb to act up. He was forced to reveal his affliction to his new love interest, which she was understanding, but confused about it. They kept in touch during their separate journeys via sending stones. Syma was captured in the caravan attack in the Shadow Curse and taken to Moonrise.

Content and Warnings: Male human x female tiefling. Oral & PIV sex, prehensile tail play, creative use of mage hands and grease spells, anal fingering.

Gale waited impatiently in the Last Light Inn. He paced between the front balcony that overlooked the bridge and the back balcony that overlooked the lake pier. He wasn’t sure which direction the stealth team would be coming in by, if they were successful in their rescue mission. When he saw what looked like a boat coming across the lake towards them, he ran downstairs as quickly as he could. He pushed his way past the Harpers that were guarding the dock, seeing a few people already off-loading from the boat. Tav stood on the dock helping everyone out of the crowded boat. “Gale!” He heard a voice call over the clamor of the frightened prisoners.

“Syma!” He spied her willowy in the middle of the boat, huddled in her cloak. He embraced her as soon as she stepped onto the dock. “Thank the Gods you are alright!”

“We nearly weren’t,” she trembled in his arms, weak from a lack of food and water.

“Are you injured?” He looked her over, caressing an old bruise on her face.

“Just tired and hungry,” she sunk into his arms.

“Come on then, let’s get you inside,” he pulled her away, giving Tav a thankful nod.

He helped her up to the inn and got her settled at a table, then went to get her something to eat. She ate voraciously, relaying everything that had happened between bites. She finished both her meal and story with an exhausted sigh. “Let’s get you upstairs to bed now,” Gale gently stroked her hand. She nodded and let him lead her upstairs.

“I can sleep on the floor,” Gale pulled back the covers of the bed for her and fluffed the pillows.

“Nonsense,” Syma smiled a little, unlacing her robe. “We are both adults. We can squeeze in together.”

“You’re sure?” He blushed a little.

“Of course,” she nodded, pulling open her robes. His face grew redder as she smiled wider. “I’m just going to have a quick wash,” she slipped her robe off, leaving her in only her underclothes.

Gale began to undress, unable to keep his eyes from her. She washed herself slowly, her tail swishing sensually as she wiped herself with a damp cloth. Gale felt himself growing hot all over and climbed into bed, turning his back towards her. When she finished washing, she turned towards the bed, disappointed to see that he’d already climbed into bed and was turned away from her. Despite her exhaustion, she’d had hopes for something more, as the last few times they’d spoken via sending stone, had ended with heavy breaths. She climbed into bed facing him, her knees pressing into the crook of his slightly.

He shifted slightly, putting a hand to his tattoo. The Elminster had stabilized the orb, but he still worried that too much excitement would push him over the edge. He still hadn’t told her about what Mystra had tasked him with either. He didn’t think it would be fair to start something with her if he was going to die soon. She noticed his hand there and wrapped her arm over his shoulder, entwining her fingers with his. He let out a quiet sigh and settled back against her slightly. They slept through the night nestled together. Gale awoke first, but he remained still so he could enjoy the warmth of her body.

His heart began to flutter as she stirred, pulling him closer to her. She nuzzled his neck, letting out a long sigh as she opened her eyes. “Oh…Gale,” she blushed a little, having awoken from a particularly racy dream, forgetting it was actually him there beside her and not just in the dream.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked, squeezing the hand that was still wrapped around his.

“A little too well,” she shifted slightly, the wetness of her thighs sliding against her skin. “Gale?” She took in a sharp breath, her cunt still throbbing from the dream. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Of course,” he carefully turned over in the cramped bed, seeing the flush across her lilac skin, her tail stroking her thigh absentmindedly. “Are you alright?”

“I,” she paused, not sure if she should just kiss him without another word. “I like you, Gale…I like the times we’ve spent together…even when we were apart,” she blushed a little more. “But…I’d like…something more,” her tail moved up to her hip, teasing along the hem of her underpants. His eyes glanced down, seeing the wet spot between her thighs, making his throat nearly close up.

“Are you…?” He took in a deep breath. “Do you want to…have sex with me?”

“Only if you want to,” she blushed even deeper. “If…if it’s safe,” she placed her hand on his tattoo.

“I…I very much do,” he took her hand, feeling a heat growing at the base of his spine. “It’s just that…I don’t know how long I have and it wouldn’t be fair to,” he continued before she put a finger to his lips.

“If we only get this once…that will be enough.”

“Then we should make it count,” he took her finger in his mouth sucking on it hungrily before he rolled her onto her back.

He climbed on top of her, already feeling a rush of blood heading for his cock. He kissed her greedily, barely letting her take a breath. He finally moved his mouth southward, pushing her nightshirt up to take a breast in his mouth. She felt a tickle near her waist, tugging at her underpants, but both Gale’s hands were fondling her breasts.

“What’s that?” She gasped as he sucked on her nipple.

“I needed more hands,” he grinned, as the invisible mage hand slowly pulled down her underpants.

“Well, if we’re letting ourselves use magic…” she bit her tongue playfully. She had to one up him, casting a grease spell alongside her mage hand, slipping the invisible hand into his shorts to stroke his hardening cock.

“Gods,” his eyes widened as the slick hand took a firm grip of him.

He nibbled down her torso, his mage hand finished with removing her underpants and heading back up between her legs, where his mouth joined it. He spread her legs apart, taking a generous lick of her sex, the magic hand working on her clit. “Mmmm,” she giggled, squirming against his tongue. “Your beard tickles….don’t you dare ever shave it.”

He grinned widely at her, soaking said beard in her arousal as his tongue explored every fold. She moaned and trembled, her greased mage hand still working up and down his shaft as she ran her fingers through his hair. She finally pulled his face up, looking at him in desperation. “I need you,” she used the hand to pull his cock completely out of his shorts. “Now.” She couldn’t even wait for him to pull them off.

He moved back between her thighs, finally taking control of his cock, teasing it near her entrance. “Please,” she looked in his eyes, holding his gaze as he slipped inside her. “Ohhh…”

“Syma,” he sighed on top of her, slowly sliding back and forth inside her.

“Gale,” she purred, wrapping her legs around his waist as he gripped both her hands tightly.

Even their mage hands met, tickling against one another as their conjurers decided what to do with them next. Soon the hands went back to work, exploring each other’s bodies. Gale’s returned to her breasts, teasing and pinching her nipples. Syma’s gripped his ass tightly, the greased fingers lingering near his asshole. “Do you….mmmm…like a finger or two…?” she breathed heavily as his pelvis circled around her clit with each thrust.

“I, uh…never really tried it,” he blushed.

The sex he performed with his Goddess had always been quite straightforward. Mystra received the majority of the pleasure and he was mostly there for the ride. He felt a little tinge of bitterness towards her, especially since she would deny him this new love. He shook off all thoughts of her and redoubled his effort with Syma, fucking her harder and begging her to fuck his ass with her mage fingers. She started slow with him, watching his expression as the greased finger eased its way in. He grunted lowly, his mouth twisted in a curious smile. “A little more?” She asked.

“Please,” he nodded as the finger went deeper. “Mmmm….yeah, more, uhhhhmmm,” he grunted, edging closer to climax.

“Ohhh you like that?” She teased, slapping the tip of her tail against his ass.

“Yes,” he begged. “I like all of it.”

“Mmm just don’t stop, Gale,” she moaned, fingering his ass and snapping her tail against his golden cheeks. “I’m so close.”

“I’m close too,” he moaned, increasing his pace, letting his mage hand add to the pressure on her clit.

“Yes….Gods, don’t stop Gale, oh….fuck….uhmmmmmm,” she cried loudly as he erupted inside her with a primal, guttural groan, having never felt release like that before. He trembled on top of her as they both lost concentration on their spells and quivered against one another.

“Ah…fuck…I…never, uhhhh,” Gale tried to catch his breath, his forehead pressed against hers.

“You are incredible,” Syma smiled, kissing him deeply.

“You are…indescribable,” he grinned happily, looking into her eyes. He felt ready to pour out his heart, desperate to tell her how he felt about her. But she needed to know about Mystra’s ultimatum first. He let himself enjoy this moment with her, rolling gently with her so she was now on top of him. She nestled against his chest, letting her hand stroke the soft hair that covered him. “Let’s stay here all day,” he traced his finger up her pointed ear and into her hair.

“How about a ten day?” she smiled and left a little kiss on his nipple before settling back against him.

[seanpultz]

Two Muppets and Two Wednesdays in The Haunted Mansion

The Great Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat approach the outside of Gracey Mansion, which resembles the Joel Rathbone mansion, a Gothic Revival Pointed-style villa designed by Alexander Jackson (A.J.) Davis, in the upper Hudson River Valley area of Albany, New York.

GONZO: (Looking up at the mansion with awe) "Wow, Rizzo, this place is a real spook-tacular! Can you feel the chills running down your spine?"

RIZZO: (Rolling his eyes) "Gonzo, it's just a bunch of bricks and mortar. Nothing to get your feathers in a twist over."

Christina Ricci and Jenna Ortega appear, walking down the path towards the mansion, both dressed in stylish yet slightly gothic attire.

CHRISTINA: "Hi, Gonzo! It's been ages since we've seen each other."

GONZO: (Spinning around with excitement) "Christina! You look absolutely…uh…normal."

CHRISTINA: (Laughing) "Thanks, I think."

GONZO: "And this must be the incredible Jenna Ortega. I've heard so much about you."

JENNA: "Hi, Gonzo! It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm a big fan of your…uh…stunts?"

GONZO: "Why, thank you, Jenna. I do try to keep things interesting."

Rizzo: (Leaning in) "You two know each other?"

CHRISTINA: "Oh, yes. Jenna's been doing a stellar job carrying on the legacy of my dearest character, Wednesday."

JENNA: (Nods) "It's an honor, really. Christina set the bar so high."

GONZO: "Rizzo, this is Christina Ricci, the original Wednesday Addams herself!"

RIZZO: (Doing a dramatic bow) "Enchanted, Miss Ricci. And you must be the newest addition to the Addams clan, Miss Ortega."

JENNA: "Guilty as charged. And I've got to admit, I'm a bit nervous about meeting you two legends."

GONZO: "Legends? Oh, please. We're just a couple of guys looking for a good time."

RIZZO: (Nudging Jenna) "And maybe some cheese."

Everyone laughs as they make their way to the mansion's entrance, ready to embark on their haunting adventure.

Entering the queuing area through a pair of ornate gates, we find ourselves in the mansion's nearly-neglected gardens and grounds. The queuing path leads guests past a knocked over birdbath, a black carriage hearse led by an invisible horse, and finally leads into the awning.

GONZO: "Look at this place, it's like we've stepped into a real-life gothic fairy tale!"

RIZZO: "Or a horror movie set. Remind me why we're doing this again?"

CHRISTINA: "To face our fears, of course! It's all in good fun."

JENNA: "And maybe we'll get some inspiration for our next projects."

RIZZO: "Well, as long as it doesn't involve any actual ghosts or goblins, I'm game."

We are greeted at a gate with several busts of a family that once lived in the mansion that killed each other over inheriting a large fortune.

GONZO: (Grinning at the busts) "Ah, a family affair turned sour. Sounds like a plot straight out of a melodrama!"

CHRISTINA: "You're always looking for a story, aren't you?"

JENNA: "It's like we're on the set of a movie."

RIZZO: (Munching on some popcorn) "Speaking of movies, I hope the snacks inside are better than this stale popcorn."

Embossed musical instruments on a crypt that once touched a haunted tune mysteriously plays.

CHRISTINA: "Oh, listen! It's like the mansion's serenading us."

JENNA: "It's eerie, but kind of…beautiful."

Water and bubbles emerge from a crypt belonging to a Captain Culpepper Clyne.

GONZO: "Ah, Captain Clyne's crypt. It seems he's still causing a splash, even in the afterlife!"

CHRISTINA: "This place has so much history and mystery. It's like the perfect setting for an Addams Family reunion!"

RIZZO: (Sarcastically) "I'm sure Uncle Fester would love a swim in there."

JENNA: "Do you guys think the stories about this place are true?"

GONZO: "I say, let's find out!"

Words inexplicably appear upon on a tomb belonging to a poetess named Prudence Pock.

The group chuckles as the words on Prudence Pock's tomb materialize before them, hinting at her tragic fate.

GONZO: (Dramatically) "The pen is mightier than the sword, it seems, even in death."

RIZZO: "Or in this case, the tombstone."

CHRISTINA: (Reading aloud) "Here lies Prudence Pock, who took a penny-farthing to the heart. How poetic."

JENNA: "But also…kind of sad."

Then they reach the servant's entrance where we enter the mansion.

GONZO: (Pushing open the creaky door) "After you, my fellow thrill-seekers! The adventure awaits!"

RIZZO: "Why do I have a feeling we're about to walk into a trap?"

CHRISTINA: "Don't worry, Rizzo. We've faced worse than a haunted mansion on set."

JENNA: (Grinning) "Besides, I've had some experience with the macabre."

The door groans shut behind them as they step into the dimly lit foyer, the air thick with anticipation. The floorboards creak beneath their feet as they cautiously move forward, their laughter echoing through the empty space.

We enter the elegant-but-spartan foyer as a distant pipe organ plays a dirge-like version of Grim Grinning Ghosts. Following this hallway, we enter a foyer, which features a fireplace to the left side. There is a picture hanging above the fireplace, which shows a handsome, young man (quite possibly the owner of the mansion).

GONZO: (Whistling the tune of Grim Grinning Ghosts) "Ah, the sweet sound of home."

RIZZO: "If your home is a mausoleum, maybe."

CHRISTINA: "Look at this painting, it's so…hauntingly beautiful."

JENNA: "It's like he's watching us."

GONZO: "I'm sure he's just a friendly ghost."

RIZZO: "Friendly or not, I wouldn't want to run into him in a dark hallway."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "When hinges creak in doorless chambers. When strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls. Whenever candlelights flicker when the air is deathly still… That is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight."

RIZZO: (Jumping and dropping his popcorn) "Who said that?!"

GONZO: (Startled) Rizzo, look!

While this is being said, the picture above the fireplace starts transforming Dorian Gray-style from that of a handsome young man, to that of a rotting corpse.

The group watches in amazement as the portrait morphs before their eyes, revealing the grim truth behind its once charming facade.

GONZO: (Whispering) "I didn't know they had Snapchat filters back in the day."

CHRISTINA: (With a shiver) "It's like the mansion is coming alive around us."

JENNA: "It's definitely setting the mood."

Once the picture's transformation is complete, one of the walls opens up next to the picture, revealing an octagonal room.

GONZO: (Motions to the open wall) "After you, my dear friends. The show must go on!"

RIZZO: (Sarcastically) "Oh, joy. More surprises."

We enter this octagonal room from the Foyer. Four paintings (A bearded gentleman holding a document, A pretty young lady holding a parasol, An old woman holding a rose and A man in a bowler hat) flanked by candle-wielding gargoyles, hang from the walls in this chamber.

The foursome steps into the octagonal room, the air thick with mystery and the faint scent of dusty antiques. The paintings on the walls seem to watch them with unblinking eyes.

GONZO: "Now, this is more like it! The grandeur of the theater in a haunted mansion setting."

RIZZO: "I'm starting to feel like a character in one of your plays, Gonzo."

CHRISTINA: "It's like we're in an art gallery, but with a twist."

JENNA: "Speaking of twists, do you guys feel like we're being watched?"

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your Ghost Host. Our tour begins here in this gallery. Here, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There’s no turning back now."

The doors we enter slam shut, The room begins to stretch upwards, the paintings on the walls elongating with it to reveal a comically gruesome end for each subject:

The bearded gentleman holding a document is revealed to be wearing only his undergarments from the waist down and standing atop a lit keg of dynamite.

The pretty young lady holding a parasol is revealed to be balancing on a fraying tightrope above the gaping jaws of an alligator.

The old woman holding a rose is revealed to be sitting atop a tall gravestone, at the bottom of which is a stone bust of her husband George with a hatchet embedded in his head.

The man in a bowler hat is revealed to be sitting on the shoulders of another man who sits on the shoulders of a third man who is waist deep in quicksand.

GONZO: "Well, they do say that art imitates life. Or in this case, afterlife!"

RIZZO: "Very funny, Gonzo. But these guys are obviously in a worse spot than any of us could ever imagine."

CHRISTINA: "It's fascinating, really. The macabre humor is so… Addams Family."

JENNA: "I'd say it's more like a cautionary tale about the perils of greed and vanity."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination — hmm? And consider this dismaying observation, This chamber has no windows and no doors… which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!"

The Ghost Host laughs as our focus is on the ceiling.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Of course, there's always my way."

The lights go out and lightning flashes above. The ceiling vanishes and gives a view of the mansion's cupola, where the skeletal corpse of the Ghost Host sways from a noose tied to the rafters. Christina and Jenna scream, which makes Rizzo scream, which makes Gonzo scream. After a few seconds, the room becomes pitch black and a dreadful scream is heard, followed by the sound of bones shattering. Just as suddenly as it had begun, the horror ended, and the lights flickered back on. They blinked in the sudden brightness, their eyes adjusting to find that the skeletal corpse was gone, and in its place, a wall had slid open, revealing a hidden passage.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Oh, I didn’t mean to frighten you prematurely. The real chills come later. Now, as they say, ‘look alive,’ and we’ll continue our little tour. And let’s all stay together, please."

JENNA: (Panicking) "Guys, I think… I feel something… grabbing my ankle!"

GONZO: (With a gasp) "What?!" (Looks down) "Oh, it's just you, Rizzo."

RIZZO: (Shaking uncontrollably) "What?! No, it's not me! It's…it's…"

GONZO: (Picks up Rizzo) "Looks like someone's had a little too much excitement."

CHRISTINA: (Laughing) "You two are priceless. It's just your nerves playing tricks on you."

RIZZO: (Embarrassed) "Yeah, sure. Just…keep an eye out for real monsters, okay?"

JENNA: (Patting Rizzo's head) "Don't worry, little buddy. We're in this together."

GONZO: "Onward to the next act of our spooky adventure!"

The trio steps through the newly revealed passageway. We continue onward down a long hallway, leading to a short queue that is used to board the Doom Buggies.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "And now, a carriage approaches to carry you into the boundless realm of the supernatural. Once on board, remain safely seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside. And watch your children, please."

GONZO: (With a flourish) "After you, Miss Ricci!"

Christina steps into the Doom Buggy, her gothic attire fluttering around her. Gonzo follows, his enthusiasm unabated.

JENNA: (Cautiously) "Ready, Rizzo?"

RIZZO: (Gulping) "As ready as I'll ever be."

The two settle into the buggy behind them, Jenna's eyes wide with excitement and Rizzo's tail twitching with nerves.

CHRISTINA: "I can't believe we're actually doing this. It's like being part of a live-action version of your show, Gonzo."

GONZO: "And what a show it shall be! Hold on tight, Christina. We're about to embark on the ride of our lives!"

The Doom Buggies lurch forward.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Do not pull down on the safety bar, please. I will lower it for you. And heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times."

The safety bar is lowered, locking Christina and Gonzo and Jenna and Rizzo in their respective Doom Buggies.

Their Doom Buggies enters a rather steep stairwell and pass under a landing where a floating candelabra floats in the darkness. After they pass under, they enter a hallway. To the left are two windows with white sheer drapes; lightning crashes and thunders outside. To the right are four paintings: a woman in a black sheer dress reclining on a daybed, a sloop on choppy waters, a knight on a rearing horse, and a woman in a Greek temple. With each flash of lightning, the paintings become: an anthropomorphic tiger, a ghost ship in a tropical storm, a skeleton knight on a skeleton horse, and Medusa in Greek Ruins.

GONZO: (Looking around with excitement) "This is fantastic!

JENNA: (Nods in agreement) "It's like being in a real-life haunted house scene from 'Wednesday'."

CHRISTINA: (Laughing) "I feel like I've come full circle. From the Addams Family to the Haunted Mansion."

RIZZO: "Remind me never to visit an art gallery with you and Miss Ricci again."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Oh yes, and no flash pictures, please. We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights."

Leaving the hallway, we enter into a rectangular library, which is filled from floor-to-ceiling by shelves lined with hundreds of books. Phantom hands pull books from the shelves. An empty chair rocks gently back and forth, and a ladder slides to and fro as an unseen force searches for a good read. Among the shelves, marble busts glare at Christina and Gonzo and Jenna and Rizzo as they move along in the gloom.

GONZO: "Oooh, a library! The perfect place for a little literary levity!"

RIZZO: "I think I'd rather not be surrounded by books that can jump out at me."

CHRISTINA: "It's like stepping into a scene from a classic horror novel."

JENNA: "But with a touch of whimsy."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): “Our library is well stocked with priceless first editions, only ghost stories, of course, and marble busts of the greatest ghost writers the literary world has ever known."

JENNA: (Nods at the busts) "It seems we've got an audience."

GONZO: "Ah, the busts of the great ghostly scribes. They're quite the literary entourage."

RIZZO: "Creepy is more like it. They're giving me the heebie-jeebies."

CHRISTINA: "Just ignore them, Rizzo. They're only marble."

The marble busts continue to follow them with their unblinking stone gazes, seemingly oblivious to their comments.

Leaving the library, we enter the Music Room. In the room, our heroes find an invisible ghost playing a Rachmaninoff-style arrangement of Grim Grinning Ghosts on the piano. The ghost's shadow can be seen cast upon the floor, while a storm brews outside.

GONZO: (Leaning back in his Doom Buggy) "Ah, the sweet sound of an invisible pianist. How…hauntingly melodious."

RIZZO: "Can we just get through this without any more surprises?"

JENNA: "Don't worry, Rizzo. It's all part of the experience."

CHRISTINA: "It's like we're in the middle of a ghostly concert. Bravo, maestro!"

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "They have all retired here, to the Haunted Mansion. Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here. But there’s room for 1,000. Any volunteers?"

GONZO: (Nods to the invisible pianist) "Maestro, you play with the finesse of a phantom."

RIZZO: "I'd play if you'd just hand me the cheese."

JENNA: (Giggling) "I think we're going to fit right in here."

Their Doom Buggies glide through the Music Room, the haunting melody lingering in the air.

Next, we enter the main stairwell of the Mansion. Here in this M.C. Escher-like void the stairs go right-side up, upside-down, sideways, slantways, longways, back ways, front ways, square ways, and any other ways that you can think of. It is on these steps we see the ectoplasmic footprints of the Mansion's ghostly residents.

GONZO: (Looking around the stairwell in amazement) "This place defies gravity! It's like we've entered a ghostly funhouse!"

CHRISTINA: "It's quite disorienting. It's no wonder the spirits are so playful here."

JENNA: "It's like the stairs are dancing to their own tune."

RIZZO: (Clutching the Doom Buggy's bar) "Just keep me right-side up, please. I'm not into extreme sports."

Their Doom Buggies ascend the stairs, twisting and turning, as the spectral footprints dance around them, seemingly leading the way to the top. The group can't help but feel like they're part of an otherworldly ballet.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Well, if you should decide to join us, final arrangements may be made at the end of the tour. A charming ‘ghostess’ will be on hand to take your application."

The foursome exits the stairwell into a hallway where the walls are adorned with glowing, blinking eyes that seem to follow them as they pass. The pattern on the wallpaper comes to life, creating a disconcerting sense of movement in the stillness of the mansion.

GONZO: "Would you look at that? The wallpaper has a mind of its own!"

JENNA: "It's like we're in a cartoon nightmare."

CHRISTINA: "It's eerily enchanting, isn't it?"

RIZZO: "I'd prefer wallpaper that doesn't watch me. It's giving me the willies."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills."

The Doom Buggies pass a second floor passageway that seems to go on forever, lined with doors. A lone candelabra floats in midair halfway down it. Flanking the hallway entrance are a subtly-moving Suit of Armour and an armchair designed to have a "face."

JENNA: "Look at that candelabra, it's like it's floating in the middle of nowhere."

GONZO: "It's the ghostly decor that makes this place so charmingly spooky!"

RIZZO: "Charming? More like unnerving. I'd rather have a cheese platter than floating furniture."

CHRISTINA: "And those doors…I wonder what secrets they're hiding."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): “Shhh, listen!”

A keening sounding like a banshee is heard.

GONZO: (Frowning) "What was that wailing sound?"

CHRISTINA: "It sounded like a banshee. In folklore, they're known to foretell death or disaster."

RIZZO: (Panicking) "What? Did you guys just say 'banshee'?!"

JENNA: (Nods towards the scene in front of them) "Never mind that, Rizzo. Look!"

They ride past an alcove-like conservatory, the space choked with decaying and overgrown plants and vegetation. Outside the huge glass walls is a misty landscape, with only the gnarled limbs of leafless trees visible in the gloom. A raven perches on top of a stand with a withered funeral wreath, and in the center of the chamber is a coffin whose occupant is trying to get out - skeletal hands attempt to push the lid open saying "Let me out! Let me outta here!", which based on the nails sticking through the wood was meant to stay sealed.

RIZZO: (Eyes wide with terror) "Guys, did you see that? Someone's alive inside that coffin? This isn't fun anymore!"

GONZO: (Grinning) "Oh, Rizzo, don't be such a scaredy-cat. It's all part of the experience."

JENNA: (Patting Rizzo's shoulder) "It's okay, little one. We're in a magical place. Nothing to fear here."

CHRISTINA: (Teasingly) "Except for maybe the ghosts of forgotten cheese plates."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): “All our ghosts have been dying to meet you. This one can hardly contain himself. Unfortunately, they all seem to have trouble getting through."

Their Doom Buggies is then carried backward down an ominous corridor, a series of doors on either side of the car. Growls, screams, maniacal laughter and pleading voices emanate from behind them, as if something is trying to get out. Doors bend, as if they are breathing, knockers clack and rattle, and the walls are adorned with some "family portraits" of corpses.

GONZO: (With a dramatic flourish) "Ah, the grand reveal of the mansion's spectral tenants! What a macabre meet-and-greet."

RIZZO: (Squeaking) "Gonzo, I think we should've stuck to a more…traditional form of entertainment."

JENNA: "Don't worry, Rizzo. It's all just special effects. Right, Christina?"

CHRISTINA: (Grinning) "Well, if it is, they're pretty convincing. I feel like I'm in a real-life Addams Family episode."

At the end of the hall lies a grandfather clock, with its arms spinning wildly backwards and the clock striking 13. A shadow of a clawed hand passes over the face of the clock.

RIZZO: (Shrieking) "Jenna! What's happening?!"

JENNA: (Gently stroking Rizzo's head) "It's just the grandfather clock, Rizzo. It's part of the mansion's charm."

The shadow of a clawed hand sweeps over the clock face, causing Rizzo to burrow into Jenna's lap, his tiny eyes squeezed shut.

GONZO: "Rizzo, you're missing the best part!"

CHRISTINA: "Don't worry, he's just a little spooked. Aren't we all?"

We next enter the shadowy Séance Circle. The buggies travel in a circle facing a large table and high-backed chair in the center of the room (a raven perches on the back of the chair). Above this table floats a crystal ball containing the spirit of Madame Leota, chanting incantations that summon the spirits to appear.

MADAM LEOTA: "Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat, call in the spirits, wherever they’re at! Rap on a table — it’s time to respond. Send us a message from somewhere beyond…

JENNA: (Whispers to Rizzo) "It's okay, Rizzo. It's just a floating crystal ball."

RIZZO: (Trembling) "Yeah, with a floating head in it!"

CHRISTINA: "Remember, this is all in good fun. Besides, I've faced worse."

GONZO: "She's right, Rizzo. She faced a Headless Horseman!"

Their Doom Buggies continue to revolve around the table, the flickering candles casting eerie shadows across the room. The air feels thick with anticipation.

MADAM LEOTA: Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween, awaken the spirits with your tambourine! Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond, let there be music from regions beyond! Wizards and witches, wherever you dwell, give us a hint, by ringing a bell!"

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize. They’re assembling for a swinging wake, and they’ll be expecting me… I’ll see you all a little later."

Next, we travel along a balcony overlooking the hall. A major party is underway as a multitude of transparent spirits engage in all sorts of revelry. A long dining table covered with decayed floral arrangements and dusty silverware plays host to a birthday feast, and whenever the orange-haired birthday ghost blows out the candles on a birthday cake at the head of the table, the other ghosts seated there vanish, only to reappear when the candles light again; nearby, an old woman disappears and reappears in a rocking chair. Several haunts drift into the hall from a hearse parked in a doorway, while cloaked wraith-like phantoms fly in through the broken windows from a stormy night outside. While a number of ghosts - including the notorious Pickwick - gadabout on the chandeliers above the room, a pair of duelists emerge from their respective paintings on the far wall and take shots at each other, forever reenacting their age-old feud. The open floor whirls with waltzing couples as a ghastly organist plays Grim Grinning Ghosts on a pipe organ, where tiny spirits emerge from the pipes.

GONZO: (Laughing) "Rizzo, look at all these spooky spirits cutting a rug!"

RIZZO: (Trembling in Jenna's lap) "Can we just get out of here?"

JENNA: (Petting Rizzo) "It's okay, buddy. It's just part of the show."

CHRISTINA: (Nods) "You're right, Jenna. It's all for the entertainment."

GONZO: "But what a show it is! It's like a ghostly ballet!"

Leaving the Grand Hall, we ride through a dark, dusty and cluttered attic, where the sound of a beating heart and a sinister piano rendition of "The Wedding March" can be heard. Among the brick-a-brac are several pieces of wedding paraphernalia and decor, and five different marriage paintings, depicting the same bride but with a different groom in each. As guests watch, the heads of each of the grooms disappear, only to reappear moments later.

GONZO: (Leaning closer to the paintings) "Oh, the drama! It seems this poor bride had quite the collection of…unfortunate grooms."

RIZZO: "I'm starting to think marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be."

JENNA: (Chuckles) "Rizzo, you're not even looking for a cheese wedding, are you?"

CHRISTINA: "It's just a clever trick, Rizzo. Don't let it get to you."

After passing the source of the music, a broken-down piano with an invisible pianist (only a shadow of a man cast on the wall and keys), we come face-to-face with the ghost of the bride, Constance Hatchaway.

CONSTANCE HATCHAWAY: “In sickness and in… wealth. You may now kiss the bride. We’ll live happily ever after. Till death do us part. Here comes the bride. As long as we both shall live. For better or for… worse. I do. I did.”

She laughs while, periodically, a spectral hatchet appears in her hands.

GONZO: (With a wink) "Looks like she's had quite the eventful marital history, don't you think, Rizzo?"

RIZZO: (Peeking over the edge of Jenna's shoulder) "I'd say she's had one too many 'I do's'!"

JENNA: (Giggling) "Maybe she's just looking for the perfect match."

CHRISTINA: "It's definitely a cautionary tale for the romantically inclined."

We escape from the attic through a window.

Following leaving the Attic window, the Doombuggies move down the balcony outside the house and down a flight of stairs backwards. A raven caws at guests from a tree branch. The shapes of rising spirits can be seen everywhere.

GONZO: (Looking around with excitement) "Ah, the great outdoors! Or is it the great beyond?"

RIZZO: (Breathing a sigh of relief) "Finally, some fresh air. No more floating heads and creepy music."

CHRISTINA: "You know, it's oddly peaceful here."

JENNA: (Looking at the raven) "It's like nature's own haunted house decor."

The raven caws again, and the four of them exchange glances, the tension from the mansion's eerie interior replaced with a sense of camaraderie as they continue their journey into the unknown.

GONZO: "Rizzo, do you think we'll find any new friends out here?"

RIZZO: (Nods) "I hope so, as long as they don't want to borrow my hat."

JENNA: "Or eat my brain."

CHRISTINA: (Laughing) "Well, if we do, I'm sure we'll handle it with our usual flair."

GONZO: "Indeed, we're a formidable team. Now, shall we proceed?"

Upon reaching the ground, the graveyard Caretaker can be seen with his dog, the two of them utterly petrified by the sight before them. Music is all around, while playful spooks pop-up from behind their tombstones. To the left, a group of five phantoms play a flute, a horn, a bagpipe, a harp, and pound on a tombstone to create an unearthly vibe. A King and Queen balance on a see-saw while a Duchess swings from a tree branch while she drinks a cup of tea. In the very back a skeletal wolf is seen howling at the moon.

On the other side of the path, five Singing Busts come into view, bearing very vividly lit, expressive faces as they sing:

♪ When the crypt doors creak ♪ ♪ And the tombstones quake ♪ ♪ Spooks come out for a singing wake ♪ ♪ Happy haunts materialize ♪ ♪ And begin to vocalize ♪ ♪ Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize ♪ ♪ Now don't close your eyes ♪ ♪ And don't try to hide ♪ ♪ Or a silly spook may sit by your side ♪ ♪ Shrouded in a daft disguise ♪ ♪ They pretend to terrorize ♪ ♪ Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize ♪ ♪ As the moon climbs high o'er dead oak tree ♪ ♪ Spooks arrive for the midnight spree ♪ ♪ Creepy creeps with eerie eyes ♪ ♪ Start to shriek and harmonize ♪ ♪ Grim grinning ghosts come out socialize ♪ ♪ When you hear the knell of a requiem bell ♪ ♪ Weird glows gleam where spirits dwell ♪ ♪ Restles bones etherealize ♪ ♪ Rise as spooks of every size ♪

Other ghosts materialize, gathering around a hearse and drinking tea. A Mummy sits in his sarcophagus, trying to make contact with an elderly spirit who is just too deaf to understand him. Two "Phantoms of the Opera" blast their ghostly voices into the night. A Beheaded Knight, his Executioner, and his Prisoner all sing as a trio, while the poor ghost behind them tombs himself up. Our hero's Doom buggy enters the Mausoleum at the end of the Graveyard sequence where they are immediately "greeted" by the Raven who caws at guests while perching on the door to the Mausoleum.

GONZO: "Look at them, Rizzo! They're throwing quite the shindig!"

RIZZO: (Still trembling) "Yeah, if you're into the whole 'haunting' scene."

JENNA: "It's like a ghostly flash mob. Pretty cool, right?"

CHRISTINA: "It's definitely got a certain charm to it. Who knew the afterlife could be so… festive?"

GONZO: "Maybe we should join in, show them some of our dance moves!"

RIZZO: "I'll pass. I'd rather not tango with a spectral suitor."

JENNA: (Giggling) "Don't worry, Rizzo. They're just trying to have some fun."

CHRISTINA: "Speaking of fun, let's see if we can catch a tune from these ghostly troubadours."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Ah, there you are! And just in time… there’s a little matter I forgot to mention. Beware of Hitchhiking Ghosts!"

They pass by three hitchhiking spirits; a Traveler, a Skeleton and a Prisoner.

The four friends, still aboard their Doom Buggies, glide into the Mausoleum, where they encounter the Hitchhiking Ghosts—Ezra, Phineas, and Gus. The ghosts try to thumb a ride, hoping to escape the confines of the Haunted Mansion.

GONZO: (Leaning out of the buggy) "Sorry, fellas. This is a private carriage!"

RIZZO: (Nervously) "Yeah, and we're not exactly headed in that direction."

JENNA: (Playfully) "Maybe we could drop you off at the next spectral bus stop?"

Their Doom Buggy passes by a wall of mirrors showing that the Hitchhikers are sitting in their vehicles.

GONZO: "But I don't think our ride is quite…dead enough for you, is it?"

RIZZO: (Panicking) "Gonzo, maybe we shouldn't antagonize them?"

JENNA: (With a smirk) "Don't worry, Rizzo. They're just trying to hitch a ride out of here."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "They have selected you to fill our quota, and they’ll haunt you until you return!"

A very small being only around the size of a doll. She wears a white satin dress with a long, non-transparent hood, often mistaken for a veil, of the same material. She has visible long blue hair and glowing pale blue skin. stands atop the ledge of the crypt holding a bouquet of dead flowers. She is Little Leota, the Ghostess.

LITTLE LEOTA: “Hurry back. Hurry back. Be sure to bring your death certificate, if you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now! We've been dying… to have you…".

GONZO: (Looking up at Little Leota) "I think we'll pass on the death certificate for now, Leota. We've got a bit more living to do!"

RIZZO: (Nods frantically) "Yeah, and I'd like to keep my corporeal form, if it's all the same to you!"

JENNA: "She's got a point, though. We should enjoy life while we can."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Now I will raise the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home!"

The safety bar is risen and our riders disembarks their respective Doom Buggies. As we head for the exit, we hear the ghosts sing this following passage:

♪ If you would like to join our jamboree ♪ ♪ There's a simple rule that's compulsory ♪ ♪ Mortals pay a token fee ♪ ♪ Rest in peace, the haunting's free ♪ ♪ So hurry back, we would like your company ♪

GONZO: (Turning to the others) "Well, I don't know about you all, but I've had quite the spook-filled evening!"

RIZZO: "You call that a 'token fee'? I think I've had enough haunting for one night!"

JENNA: "It was definitely an… interesting experience."

CHRISTINA: (Grinning) "I'd say it was a little more than just 'interesting'. It was magical."

They all nod in agreement, the sound of the ghostly chorus fading as they exit the Haunted Mansion's gates and return to the safety of the Magic Kingdom. The four of them walk back down the path, the warm glow of the park lights a stark contrast to the eerie mansion they've just left behind.

RIZZO: (Looking over his shoulder) "You know, I think I might miss those ghosts a little."

JENNA: "Don't worry, Rizzo. I'm sure we'll find some more 'interesting' places to visit next time."

CHRISTINA: "And who knows? Maybe we'll even bring a little of their magic back to our own projects."

They share a laugh, their friendship stronger than ever after facing the chills of the Haunted Mansion together. As they disappear into the night, the mansion's door closes with a creak, the ghosts' laughter fading into the distance, and the park goes on, forever enriched by the stories of the fearless foursome's adventure.

[over-active-imagination]

Family Matters (Fredrick Chilton x reader)

Synopsis: Will and Jack get to see a side of Doctor Chilton no one was aware existed.

A/n: I have not watched Hannibal in a hot minute but my thirst for Raul is strong. We are also just going to pretend our little baby is perfectly fine and NOT in danger.

Warnings: Family stuff, mentions of crimes, tooth-rotting fluff, my bad writing

Y/n sat outside by the pool watching her three-year-old and four-year-old children play around in the water splashing around happily with each other as she rubbed her swelling baby bump. Jasper and Aspen were completely content to battle it out in the shallow end of the pool. It was a nice summer day in Baltimore and Y/n was hoping these activities would wear the children out before their father came home. Sadly it didn't seem to be the case when she hears the family dog Sigmund start barking happily alerting Y/n that someone had just come home.

Throwing a glance over her shoulder she smiles seeing her husband patting the pup affectionately before the children are drawn to his presents.

"Daddy!" Aspen giggles and toddles out of the water as fast as her chubby legs could carry her rushing towards her father's waiting arms even in his full suit from work. Something that caught his company off guard.

"Hello, my darling girl" Fred smiles lifting her into his arms not paying much mind to how dripping wet she was, or the fact his wife had called after Aspen to get a towel.

"Wait...Aspy I want a hug from daddy too" Jasper the four-year-old cried also rushing out to his father who had moved to the pool deck.

"Now now Jasper of course you can have a hug too, no wining" Fredrick teases and sets his daughter down kissing her head before hugging his son. Aspen instantly peered around and noticed her father's two coworkers awkwardly watching the out-of-character display.

"Who are they? Your friend's daddy?" Aspen asks looking up at him with her bright green eyes. "Hi daddy's friends" She says not waiting for an answer causing Y/n to giggle at her daughter shifting to rise from her chair.

"Yes Aspen..now daddy and mommy need to talk can you go swim with Jasper and show him all the cool tricks you learned at lessons?" Fred hums catching her attention and she nods taking her older brother's hand and toddling off to the pool once more.

Now with the children, busy Frederick came to properly say hello to his wife. Seven months pregnant and still trying to come to him.

"Ahahah Mama, you stay right there " He hums moving to her side settling his wife back down and brushing back her hair "I need to speak with Agent Graham and Crawford about some case stuff in my office. I couldn't finish it at work I'm sorry my love"

"Thats alright handsome...oh no Aspen got your suit all wet" Y/n sighs taking in the damage of his expensive suit for work "leave it on the bed and I'll handle it okay" She fusses and he chuckles

"My love they are just clothes and its just water, it will dry on its own" He attempts to sooth her and she lets out a huff

"I know I know, but you are always so proud of your clothes baby. Ill make sure it doesn't winkle" Y/n hums and he relents nodding and leaning down to press a kiss onto her swollen stomach. “Are they staying for dinner” she adds smoothing his hair.

“I’m not sure…will gets a bit antsy when someone else prepares food” Fred hums and y/n nods gently

“Well you better invite them just in case. I won’t have them thinking we’re rude” she says sternly and Fred let’s out a small chuckle.

“Well they-“ Chilton is stopped by a finger to his lips

“Let me change the phrase..I won’t have them thinking I am rude. Now go, I have to get the little goblins bathed and wound down before dinner” she hums and he nods kissing her once more before departing to his office.

While her husband was busy, Y/n let the children play a bit longer before ushering them inside to wash off the chlorine and put on pjs. Turning on a child friendly movie Y/n sits on the couch with Aspen between her knees gently braiding the dark brown locks she inherited from her father while Jasper snuggled siggy on the love seat.

Once finished with her daughter Mrs chilton rose and headed to the kitchen to finish with dinner. She took into account of what her husband said and decided to go for a less meat heavy dish. Opting to make the children there chicken casadillas and a nice creamy Alfredo for the adults. She was just in the middle of cutting up the salad when three pairs of footsteps had her eyes rising to the hall. Fredrick was still speaking to Agent Crawford as they walk down the hall being tailed by a tall man with a mop of unruly curls and black circles under his eyes. She didn’t like how anxious the poor man seemed and bit her lip about to say something when Aspen bounces into the room.

“Daddy daddy look I drew a picture” His little girl giggles lifting the page with scribbles on it. A wide grin broke over his face as he turned his attention to her.

“That is beautiful my love. Look at this boys” he turns and shows his companions. Jack who had children of his own knew how to play along cooing over how magnificent it is while Will looked a bit lost.

“What do you think mister daddy’s friend” aspen urges in a way only she could causing will go clear his throat.

“That’s…definitely a picture” he decided on saying causing Aspy to look a bit exasperated her little nose scrunching up hands falling to her hips in a manner that reminded Y/n to much of Fred.

“That’s not what I asked. I asked if you like it” she says in a stern little voice tapping her foot causing Jack to chuckle and will to tilt his head with a small sigh.

“It could be better” Will says and the room fall silent just as Fred was about to rip him a new one Aspen cuts in.

“You’re probably right. It needs more shading on mommy’s hair” and with that she takes the paper and rushes back to the living room.

“You got lucky there…I was expecting her to start crying or Chilton to rip your head off” Jack muses coming over to Y/n and leaning on the counter.

“Oh not little Aspen. She’s too much like her father to cry infront of a stranger” She hums moving to pull three beers out of the fridge for the men. “Dinner is almost ready if you two would like to stay. I didn’t cook any meat or anything it’s all relatively vegetarian aside from the children’s meal”

Will watching as mrs Chilton rings her hands a bit anxiously. He notices that she wants to make sure he is comfortable which is something most people don’t do. Jack was about to deny the invitation when Graham beats him to it.

“I would like that very much.” He says curtly and takes a swig of beer ignoring how Fredrick and Jack look at him confused.

“Great you boys go sit at the table I’ll wrangle the children” Y/n smiles gently rubbing her hand down her husbands arm and Will watches him instantly relax. It was odd seeing Chilton in such a…domestic state, far from the domineering, obnoxious and annoying doctor he was professionally.

Slowly they make there way to the table, Fred sitting at one end Jack on the other. Just as he was about to sit the two children come skipping to the room and much to Wills dismay sit opposite each other. So either way he would have to be near a kid. It’s not that he didn’t like children…Will always wanted some of his own…it was more that he didn’t know how to talk to a child. Never having much practise and this little Aspen creature was very chatty. So doing some quick deducing he was going to sit next to the boy but a little hand stopped him.

“Mister if you sit here with me Siggy will come sit under your feet. He loooooves this side of the table and I saw you like him” she says cheerfully and Will was shocked at how much she paid attention to his behaviour

“Well I-“

“The only reason he likes that side Aspen is because you drop food on the floor for him” Jasper pipes up and Will watches the girls head twist to glower at her brother

“That is not true. And you can’t prove that it is” Aspen retorts sticking out her tongue. Causing Fredrick to stifle his laughter after a glare from his wife.

“Children. Stop it, you are being rude to our guests. Please will sit wherever you like” Y/n says gently patting his arm “I can move Aspen if you’d like to sit next to Freddie”

“No no..it’s okay” Will says and sits down slowly next to the small girl who was happily swinging her feet looking up at her father. Will caught Fredrick make a silly face causing his little girl to erupt into laughter.

Soon after that dinner was on the table and Y/N finally sat down rubbing her belly gently. Jack and will suddenly felt bad for not offering assistance and Jack went as far as to say it but she waved him off with a cheery smile.

“All I do is sit around while this baby plays soccer in my stomach. I don’t mind standing up and moving” Y/n reassures and they both nod.

They all tuck into there food Fred asking about her day. Playing little tricks on the children as they eat and Aspen talking a mile a minute without any chance of slowing down, where as Jasper sat quietly only speaking to contradict his sister or ask for more juice. Will had a strange sense of calm wash over him as he sat in the Chiltons dinning room, something he hadn’t felt for a long time and suddenly he was jealous of Frederick for being able to come home to this. While he was spinning inside his own head looking at his plate Will was suddenly drawn out of his reprieve by Aspen shrieking.

“Mommy mommy little baby is doing the weird alien thing” she shouts feigning disgust causing Wills attention to be drawn to Mrs Chilton baby bump. Where he saw the perfect outline of a little hand pressing against her dress.

“Yes it appears they are” Y/n sighs seeming less freaked out then Will, Jasper and Aspen as she simply places her own hand over it pushing the little one back. “I’m sorry sometimes I just don’t notice, this little one likes to make sure everyone knows they are there” she laughs.

“Aspen you scream but you used to do that to your mama too” Chilton teases his daughter who makes a face

“Icky. I never want a baby if they do that” Aspen huffs and Will chuckles looking at her.

“Me either” he says softly and she giggles up at him

“But your a boy. Do can’t carry babies like mamas do” she says and Will pauses for a moment then looks down at her again.

“I suppose you’re right. But still, I wouldn’t want to wake up in the middle of the night and just see a little baby hand poking out of my partners belly” he teases a bit making a little hand gesture.

Frederick watched the display and chuckles a bit. He had never seen Will warm up to anyone as fast as he was with his family. Perhaps he would talk to his wife about inviting him around more. It may help with the social anxiety he tended to fall into. Shaking his head he hears Jasper let out a little yawn and look up at him.

“Daddy can I go to bed” he asks softly and Fredrick ruffles his hair “of course bud. Take your dishes to the sink and say goodbye to Mr Crawford and Mr Graham”

Jasper nods taking the dish and coming back to say goodnight getting a hug from his mother and waving awkwardly at his fathers friends before heading upstairs to his room. Fred smiles and looks over at his wife who was looking back at him. He gently stands and takes the dishes with the help of Jack leaving Aspen, Will and Y/n at the table.

“Aspen I believe it’s also your bedtime” the Mother hums to her child and Aspen pouts.

“But I don’t want to go to bed. I want to stay awake” she argues and Y/n smiles shaking her head.

“I’m sorry little one but you and I both know you will be cranky in about ten minutes now. Say goodnight to Mr Graham and head up to bed. Daddy or I will be up shortly to tuck you in” The older woman hums and Aspen let’s out a whine before rising to her little feet.

Will expected the girl to be like her brother and wave goodbye before hugging her parents but she surprises him. The little girl moves to him first wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a small kiss on his cheek. Y/N watched Will look confused and suppress a little giggle as Aspen makes her rounds and toddles off to her bedroom.

After a polite cup of coffee and desert Will and Jack both rise saying goodnight and moving to the door. Y/n stands next too Freddie his hand around her hip as they see the agents off. But not before mentioning to Will that he is more than welcome to stop by and see the kids and the dog at home.

As soon as they are gone Frederick sighs slouching a bit. He looked completely worn out which caused his wife to chuckle a bit.

“Fred why don’t you go get ready for bed. I’ll turn the dishwasher on and be up on a moment”

Frederick let’s put a small sigh nodding and disappearing up stairs while he wife finished cleaning up. Slowly she made her way up the stairs smiling when she hears her husbands voice floating through aspens bedroom door. The younger woman pauses leaning on the doorframe listening to him lull the youngest child to sleep with the tale of Cinderella, a story he often said was ridiculous and promoted women to rely on men to rescue them but…he couldn’t say no to his little princess.

If anyone had told Y/n six years ago that she would be standing listening to the arrogant, rude and often cruel hospital administrator reading a bedtime story she would have laughed in their face. Yet, here she was, heart filled with love an admiration for her husband who was squished into a bright pink canopy bed cuddling a little version of himself.

The woman smiled and left the pair to daddy daughter bonding time to check in on Jasper who was out like a light. Snuggled deep into his bright green sheets his mouth hanging open much like his fathers did. Y/n giggled and kisses his head before turning out the light and heading to her own room. Smiling when she found that for once Fred had followed her orders.

Carefully she picked up the expensive designer suit, moving it to lay out on one of the chairs until she could tend to it in the morning. Then heading off to complete her own night time routine. Coming back out of the en suite bathroom Y/n see her husband laying out on his back only in his boxers, his eyes closed hands folded against his chest. A small giggle leaves her lips as she moves closer to him prompting the man to open his eyes sleepily and smile brightly up at his wife.

"Come here my love" He says softly reaching out for her making little grabbing gestures.

"Alright alright Mi Amour I'm coming" She giggles and slowly climbs into the spot next to him resting her head on his chest.

"Sometimes I wonder how I got so Lucky" He mumbles as his wife traces her hand over the pale scar on his stomach. letting out a little giggle looking up at him.

"Mm maybe I am just mentally unstable" Y/n teases and he pinches her hip with a playful chuckle.

"Hey watch it" He teases "thank you for today"

"It was nothing, to be honest it was nice to have someone other then two toddlers to talk to" She giggles "now lets get some sleep"

The pair snuggle deeper into the covers and relax, Frederick falling into a deep sleep feeling happy and safe with the love of his life.