#I need some interactions with her and Dazai people!

[thedarkone121]

Yuko Tsushima Implementation In Bungou to Alchemist (Ideas )

Boy, it’s been a minute since I gave my two cents on what it would be like if Tsushima Yuko was in the Bungou to Alchemist game. Mostly because I wanna see a weird family interaction with her and Dazai. That said, while I talked about her as character in a previous post, I never really indicated how she would be implemented in the game and how Dazai would find out. So let’s get right to it!

Idea 1: Yuko is summoned to the Library as normal. The Alchemist has brought her in and when introduced to the rest of the Authors, Dazai instantly recognizes her. He screams and takes off running. He spends weeks hiding from her in the Library until his friends dragged him out so the two can properly meet.

Idea 2: One of Yuko’s books is tainted and Dazai — being the only Author connected to her — has to go in and save it. Though he is very reluctant, Dazai is convinced to go due to how well famous she became out of his shadow and that this is the least he could do for her.

And that’s it. I feel like, if ever given the chance to see the kid he left as a baby, Dazai would be absolutely terrified of facing her. Because what can you say? He knew he messed up, he knew he caused a lot of misery in her life. He knows there’s no fixing it.

But still, you can’t help but wonder if given the chance, Dazai would’ve find the time to read all of her books. I’m sure her becoming an author would’ve been a huge surprise for him. 

[libraryraccoon]

I was wondering how a Dazai!Reader from BSD (preferably 15 year old Dazai) would interact with the HH crew

Btw, I love your stuff sm, have a lovely day if you see this!

Gender : GN

Pronouns : None

Info : I haven't watched BSD for a long time, so it's probably wrong/inaccurate, sorry. Reader have 15 years old.

Message fom Raccoon : What ? Dad!Lucifer ? Dad!Alastor ? Okay, take that Dad!Husk !

TW : Suicide (mentionned); SH (mentionned)

General Headcanon

Finally.

After all this years of trying, after all this attempts, you were finally dead !

And what do we do when we have achieved such a feat ? We drink until the morning !

As you drank, you recounted your feat of finally dying to the bartender, some sort of cat-bird demon.

He gave you a judgmental look when you told him you were 15 and died of suicide.

But you were used to it, people often judge you while you were alive and was trying every second to die.

After a few hours, you were drunk and followed the bartender back to his place, a small apartment in a quiet corner of Hell.

You shouldn't follow someone to their home, you know that, but for your defense, you were drunk and he was a cat. And you have a weakness for cats.

Two things making it impossible to refuse his invitation.

And, if anything ever went wrong, you always had your gun with you, which had appeared at the same time as you in Hell.

The bartender's name was Husk and he kind of adopted you ? You weren't even sure if one sinner could adopt another sinner.

Life was calm with Husk, and you somehow helped him with his work.

By that I mean you were stopping the powers of other demons with your power, so you used it to kick out all the assholes who attacked him from the bar.

You and Husk had this dynamic of "Father who will kill for his child & Child who will sacrifice themselves for their father."

And then, one day you had to move to the Hazbin Hotel because Husk find a work there.

Alastor was surprised to see that Husk now had a kid–he didn't think it was possible for an alcoholic like him to have a child.

And he learned that Husk had cut down on his drinking, so he could be a better father.

*very kindly and not at all suspiciously notes this fact in the back of his mind.*

The hotel was quite shocked to know that you were a child from a fucking mafia and that you had died of suicide at 15 years old. If Husk hadn't informed them about that, they never would have suspected it.

Your humor worries them more than anything else.

Charlie is worry every time you make jokes about suicide while your dad rolls his eyes at it.

Husk was used to your jokes after a few months of living together.

The hotel wasn't.

Charlie is like your older sister, optimistic and a little naive at times.

She always tries to make you see the bright side of things and to make you forget this idea of double death.

Spoiler : it doesn't work.

Lucifer sees you like one of his children.

He spoils you like he spoiled Charlie when she was just a child.

Husk often makes side eyes at him, accusing him of trying to steal his child.

And that was true.

Lucifer, Charlie, Husk and Angel Dust are the ones who are the most concerned about your mental health.

Alastor wanted to make you sign a contract "I become powerful and Alastor releases my father from his contract in exchange of stopping trying to kill myself."

You didn't sign it.

Alastor tried to use you to spy on Vox and the Vees because he was bored and wanted some entertainment.

It worked.

Alastor do radio shows with you sometimes, you two are called "The RadioDuo".

His audience LOVES you.

You gained Alastor some listeners btw.

You help Niffty with her work at the Hotel.

Even if Charlie said you didn't have to do it, you do it anyway.

Vaggie take all your guns because you apparently “didn’t need” them.

You managed to recover them with a little manipulation.

Angel Dust could see himself in you.

You reminded him of his little human self, Anthony, broken by the world and wanting to end it. A family running the Mafia and forcing him to join it.

You're a bit like him, but compared to him, who fought to survive, had a reason to survive, you had nothing, no reason to fight, and you gave up.

When Angel Dust isn't working, he usually stays with you and Husk.

He doesn't want to abandon you, leave you alone in such a rotten world. He wants you to be protected and to be the child you never could be.

He will never let anyone touch you, never.

Husk and Angel Dust are usually the ones who bandage you after SH, Angel Dust doesn't say anything as he does it, because he understands. Husk doesn't speak as well, but you can see that by doing so he's blaming himself, making you instantly regret it.

Don't try to kill yourself in front of them, please. They're already worried enough, don't add more.

Hotel Hazbin was, in a way, your family.

And you would kill everyone in this room before killing yourself before anything happened to them.

[ethereal-blossom]

My thoughts on dating... Dazai!

Credits to @kisara-16 because she basically co-wrote this through our conversations about Dazai. Seriously, these headcanons wouldn't look like this without her amazing insight on Dazai!

sfw

-Instant love is not an option when it comes to Dazai. He can think you're pretty when he first lays his eyes on you, and he can be impressed and admire certain qualities, but he's not going to fall in love that easily. Falling in love requires vulnerability and indirectly the acceptance of a possible loss. No, a slow burn sounds more right.

-Building up trust is the key to getting Dazai vulnerable. You're going to have to prove that you won't leave him. It's not an easy task as Dazai will make you face many challenges, like calling you up in the middle of the night because he's "too drunk" to walk home from the bar yet you're chasing him around the entire city up till dawn.

-However, there are more things needed to win over Dazai's heart. Little things over a long span of time, to be more precise. Dazai is a stranger yet attracted to sincerity and kindness, so a combination of these two things would pull his heartstrings.

-Imagine Dazai sitting at his desk and suddenly you put a can of crab on it. He's confused, but then you explain how you rarely see him eat at the ADA. When Dazai asks you why you chose a can of crab, you answer that he once tried to convince Kunikida to buy it for him with the promise he'd finish that long overdue paperwork. Dazai would be so surprised if someone, you, paid attention to him and remembered a detail from an interaction that didn't even involve you. (Credits to Kisara for this scenario!)

-Dazai would be oblivious to his crush on you at first, may it be because he's scared or the foreignness of the emotion. When Dazai does realize he has feelings for you, he tries to distance himself. As Dazai said, everything he wants is lost the minute he obtains it. He can't afford to add another wound to an already scarred heart. It's crucial to be consistent and prove you're not willing to leave, and that you desire to live.

-You'll have to confess first. Although Dazai easily picks up on other people's emotions and knows how to manipulate them, he has trouble handling his own. Vulnerability is something Dazai fears and that includes opening up about his feelings to you. He would wait until you make the first move.

-If you're scared though, don't worry! Dazai picked up on your crush on him as well as your struggle to confess. He'll tease you until you're convinced he needs to have some interest in you. Imagine being in the ADA kitchen and Dazai pops up behind you. His front is pressed against your back while he's trying to grab something that so accidentally happens to be at your coffee maker. "Don't mind me," he whispers softly into your ear. He could grab it much faster but why wouldn't he take his sweet time? After all, it's so cute how your body reacts to his close presence. And who knows, maybe it makes you confess sooner.

-When you do confess, Dazai might act light-heartened about it. "Oh, Belladonna, I knew you'd fall for my charms eventually! What about a lovely double suicide for our first date?" But don't let it fool you. He's excited yet nervous that you asked him out. He just needs to hide it for the both of you.

-You might also need to kiss him first. Dazai will turn it into a challenge to see how long you can resist kissing him. Imagine Dazai catching you looking at his lips. You turn your head the second you notice Dazai caught onto you, but then his slender fingers grab your chin, turning your head back to him. His eyes lock with yours, the air is filled with want... and then he lets go, focusing on whatever you were doing. The longer you wait for him to kiss you, the more seriously Dazai takes the challenge.

-Dazai's kisses are usually playful and teasing. He knows what makes you stand on the tip of your toes for more. One of the cuter things is when he taps on your shoulder only to appear on the opposite side to kiss your cheek.

-The PDA will be very clownery. Not sure if I wrote something similar for another post, but: If Dazai wants to cuddle with you at the ADA, he's going to drag you to the couch whining like a child needy for attention. It's all to hide that he craves your touch. Physical touch is an intimate action for Dazai as he rarely lets someone that close into his personal space and when he touches someone, it's rarely to show affection. Such an intimate action is something Dazai prefers to hide from his co-workers and strangers, so the way he goes around it is by using his desire for your touch to strengthen his reputation as a lazy clown.

-Nevertheless, there are going to be intimate, hidden touches throughout the day. He'll lightly bump into you at the copy machine. He'll then place his hands on your shoulders as if to steady you and innocently smiles "Sorry, can't have you falling for me again, sugar cube!" Or when nobody is watching and he delicately caresses your lower back for a split second. And perhaps the times your shoulders brush slightly aren't as accidental as they appear to be.

-Physical touch is more intimate when you're in one of your dorms, though. It's where Dazai doesn't have to worry about appearing soft or vulnerable. He loves it when you play with his hair, although it'd be an unfamiliar sensation at first. He'd relax so much if you made him lay his head in your lap while you do your skin-care routine on him. When you fill him in on everything that's going on in your mind while touching his skin aka giving him personal attention... He could never get tired of it.

-Dazai's favorite love language to receive is physical touch. He's so touch-starved, especially with the layers of bandages decorating his skin. It's going to take a long time before Dazai feels at ease and safe enough to remove the bandages around you, though. It's not something he's going to be comfortable with doing at the start of your relationship. Honestly, a lot of things that require even a bit of vulnerability turn into slow burns with Dazai. Even holding hands is a huge milestone that feels intimate to him. You really need to have patience and while you sometimes have to push him outside of his comfort zone or take the initiative, you cannot be too pushy either.

-Once Dazai agrees to remove his bandages, be extra tender with him. Kiss him softly and gently remove the bandages around his neck. Instead of staring at his skin and making him feel self-conscious, start placing kisses on his neck and then slowly trail down to the exposed part of his neck, leaving hickeys at places you couldn't before. Don't immediately let Dazai remove all his bandages. Take it step by step. Leave days between them. You don't have to remove his shield in one go.

-Dazai doesn't often initiate dates as he's rather easy in that aspect. It's not to say that he never takes you out, though! What Dazai values most on dates is the proximity of you and the memories that are being made. When Dazai wants to go on a date, they're rather spontaneous and unpredictable. One minute you're working and before you know it, he makes you chase him to a park. A fun date idea could be escape rooms! Of course, Dazai is smart enough to escape within five minutes, but he enjoys the proximity of it. He'll have already figured out where the key is, but why would he say it? Not only does that make you leave the room sooner, but he finds your cute dedication to escape it endearing. Dazai would also really like cafe or bar dates, but he also wouldn't say no to a date filled with surprises (if you manage to be sneaky enough to surprise him, that is).

-Dazai takes care of you from the shadows. He's a tsundere. So when he does an act of service, it's hard to tell it's him. For example, let's say you're very tired. When Atsushi is ready to grab a cup of coffee from the cafe, Dazai randomly brings up how tired you've looked all day. Next thing you know, Atsushi brings you a cup of coffee.

-Dazai isn't the one to get jealous easily, but oh does he taste it when somebody else thinks they can wrap you around their fingers when you're already wrapped around his. Softly said, it's not appreciated. It's hard to tell when Dazai is jealous, but he does get extra clingy and starts making it obvious that you belong to him. They're looking at your hair? Oops, Dazai is brushing it behind your ear. They're looking at your cheek? Dazai kisses it. They're trying to make a conversation with you? Dazai is answering all the questions in the most annoying way. They try to stand closer to you? Dazai has an arm around your waist, pressing you against him.

-When you need a hug for comfort, Dazai will make a remark on how clingy you are. But when you want to pull away, he hugs you even tighter and doesn't let go until he feels your heart rate go back to its usual tempo.

-Dazai prefers to sleep next to you. It doesn't necessarily helps him fall asleep (although it does make him feel more relaxed) but Dazai enjoys to have you in his arms, listening to your steady heartbeat and breathing, feel your warmth, and loves to have you close even though you're sleeping. It makes the night a bit more bearable and less lonely.

-Dazai isn't very used to praise, and if he does, then it usually doesn't mean anything to him. He knows he's smart. He's aware people perceive him as handsome. Nothing new. However, he'd secretly get flustered when it's you who praises him. It's the way you praise him with such sincerity and admiration without expecting anything back that makes the blood want to rush to his cheeks. Dazai knows how to smoothly hide his face, although you can still catch a tiny hint of him being flustered if the praise comes so unexpectedly.

-He's not always going to believe your praise, sadly. Not because Dazai doesn't trust you, but because Dazai doesn't believe himself to be a good human. So, whenever you praise him for being kind or beautiful, he's hesitant to internally accept it.

-Dazai calls you cringy pet names in public + Belladonna, but in the safety of your dorms he calls you "love" and "dear." All credits to Kisara and I'm still fangirling over how accurate this feels: "Sweet angel princess Belladonna, would you possibly... reconsider my double suicide offer?"

-Self-care does not come natural to Dazai. He is a pro in neglecting himself, so it is important that you motivate him in taking care of himself. Dazai will whine about how he does not want to shower only for him to do a full 180 turn when you offer to shower together. He clings to his can of crab, claiming it is all he need, only to change his mind once you make a delicious homemade meal (emphasis on you because there is something about knowing you made it that makes the food more enticing).

-To be fair, there are downsides to dating Dazai that you have to deal with. His acts of service often isn't noticeable, he has trouble opening up and sharing what is happening inside his head, and he requires patience on many surfaces. There are times he is as ungraspable as the wind. However;

-If there's one thing Dazai considers most important then it's your life. He has lost too many and he's not ready to lose you, too. So, it's almost a given that Dazai feels protective of you. He wouldn't let anyone harm you and if someone does... Well, that automatically makes them Dazai's enemy and we know what saying goes around. If you actually once get seriously hurt on a mission, it's going to keep Dazai up for the next couple of nights. Sure, the Agency has Yosano and she fixed you up like a pro, but still. What would've happened if they got you to Yosano too late? Especially if you got hurt in Dazai's plan, he'd beat himself up. Either way, he's going to feel like he should have predicted it. He praises himself for his intelligence but couldn't even use it to keep his love safe? Pathetic. Dazai is going to find it endearing though if you decide to stay up with him even though you're basically falling asleep on his shoulder.

nsfw (mdni)

-As I mentioned before, holding hands is already going to be a huge achievement, so I don't think you will sleep together very soon in the relationship.

-This man is unmotivated to do anything until we're talking about how many orgasms he can get out of you. Dazai is both a fan of overstimulation and edging. He will edge you for what feels like hours on end to then go full out without hitting the brakes because "Wasn't that what you were begging me for, my Bella?"

-I am not saying Dazai has a praise kink but he is going to be flustered the first few times you praise him during (oral) sex. Imagine moaning his name in the middle of the act and Dazai, the tease that he is, asks "Yes, love?" "Mhm, you are doing so good, Osamu." Instantly, Dazai's pace stutters and slows down as he lets the words sink in. "Is that so?" he replies before muttering to himself "Better live up to the expectations then." Good luck walking the next day, you will need it.

-He probably has been praised before when pleasuring other women but it never did matter as much to him as your praise does.

-I don't think Dazai is that much into degradation. I can't see him wanting to degrade someone he deeply cares about; the closest you will get him to degradation is when he teases how desperate you are for him. However, if you are into it, he will degrade you more because he knows it serves the purpose of pleasuring you.

-Dazai is going to be soft and gentle the first time you will do it. He is self-aware enough to know the times he has been cruel, so he feels extra motivated to do this right. If it is your actual first time, Dazai is more scared of hurting you and feels more pressure to make this time as memorable and pleasurable as possible. He will prep you extra well, entering you slowly while observing every sign that tells him you are hurting, and he will take all the time in the world before he starts moving in and out. During all of that, he coos lovely words that comfort you and distract you from the pain.

-Dazai is a switch with a preference to dom. It will take a while before he takes the role of the sub. When he does, make sure to be gentle with him.

-At the start, Dazai prefers to give. He barely prioritizes himself, so he doesn't make a huge deal out of being on the receiving end. It is quite the opposite: Dazai is aware he does not show love easily and this is a skill he is confident in to show you how devoted he is to you. Yet, a new world opened to Dazai when he realized how good this feels with you. The difference between before and now is the emotions and attachment he feels towards you, which increases his pleasure during such intimate acts. Soon, Dazai will want to drown in the pleasure that you give him and crave more of it like a selfish man.

-Dazai is a pro with his mouth and fingers. Not only that, but he mastered the art of sensuality. He understands roughness, speed, and impatience are not everything. He knows how to make your body tremble with the unbearable slow trace of a single finger against your bare skin, the intimacy of an intense gaze, and the tone of his voice when he tells you all the things that will you crave more of him.

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

BSD Dead Apple manga highlights!!

Kunikida is insane. "Oh yeah getting shot in the gut is no big deal dwai" and then he proceeds to run around and fight both his own Ability and Demon Snow after this. Jesus.

Kunikida's so resourceful tbh. I love watching him fight. Akutagawa's later fight with Rashoumon (where he demonstrates similar resourcefulness using the molten metal) is also cool for the same reason, because like it's one thing to be TOLD these characters are cool under pressure and smart as long as Dazai's not there to piss them off and a whole other to be shown it.

SO THIS CONFIRMS MY THEORY. I need a fight scene where Yosano detaches her limbs and uses them as weapons after she heals them omg she's so fucking badass. Side note the fact that Kenji and Yosano held up so long against their Abilities is so impressive? Like all of them are ofc but Undefeated and Thou Shalt Not Die are both like, extremely powerful. Your fighting a power that rearranged a mountain and a power that basically can't be killed. Like damn.

Lmfao Akutagawa's main priority is watching their Abilities fight each other

D A S H

I love how casually he says this lmfaoo Also LMAO AKUTAGAWA DO U HAVE SOME UNRESOLVED FEELINGS TOWARDS DAZAI OR SOMETHING?? HMM??

Confirmation Dazai fucking hates both of them. He was probably tearing his hair out internally this whole time. Literally him going "friendless behavior" at Shibusawa lmao- ALSO THE 'MEOW EXCHANGE. HE ACTUALLY MEOWED. THIS IS SO FUCKING DRY LMFAO.

Akutagawa's monologue is conveyed in a really cool way via manga adaptation... like DA has some great development for Akutagawa, Kyouka and Atsushi, but Akutagawa's in particular stands out to me because it doesn't really disprove his strength-based worldview?? He finds his own self worth through that view instead which is interesting, by overpowering his Ability instead of finding somewhere he's valued beyond it like say, Yosano.

This is also SUCH an interesting panel. "That I control Demon Snow/That I didn't want to hate her" it's like Atsushi has previously only seen Kyouka as a victim, as being controlled against her will and never wanting any of the violence she partook in when this kinda... confirms it's not all the case? DA as a whole kinda tries to break Atsushi's black and white worldview but I also think, between this and how well Akutagawa and Kyouka work together in DA, there was likely a part of Kyouka who knew she was good at killing and violence, and liked that about herself, if nothing else. The ability to not be completely helpless, even if her circumstances as a whole were not within her control.

"Are you fucking serious" he is SO DONE with Dazai's shit lmfao.

Soukoku are fucking insane. What do you MEAN you noticed Dazai's hidden message from a mention of a microscope. What do you mean you remember all your interactions with him that clearly. What do you mean-

Ohh my fucking god is that a tear in the last panel?? Oh my god did Chuuya mean he just doesn't want Dazai to stop him in Corruption. Chuuya cannot catch a fucking BREAK oh my god.

So Ango is also suicidal right?? Like sure he has a reason for saying this but also this is not a normal thing to say. He uses Chuuya's vow to kill him to try and stop Chuuya from what he sees as a suicidal mission later. Like this is not normal.

"Dazai doesn't care about the ADA!" shut the fuck up

Oh my god. This was so fucked up oh my god. Poor baby Atsushi oh my god.

The repetition of "I raised by claws" is SO chilling here omg. But I also find it so so interesting that I think Atsushi is... the only BSD character who just... wants to live. Not for other people, he definitely doesn't want to die. Like so many characters in BSD (Dazai, Yosano, Chuuya, Kunikida, Kyouka, Ango, arguably Akutagawa) are in some manner suicidal, or even the ones who aren't have reasons they life for. But Atsushi's base desire is just... he wants to live. That's where his Ability comes from. It's why he killed Shibusawa. It's so interesting.

So there are two sides to Fyodor's Ability. But he CALLS HIMSELF crime in this case?? Bc the Crime avatar is wearing what Fyodor was wearing. I've seen theories Fyodor himself is just the manifestation of his own Ability or something and tbh... that might have merit.

Tbh, I often wonder how Ango ended up working with the government. It's repeatedly mentioned how he dislikes and opposes their use of human lives as value metrics, or plans like this for the 'greater good', and yet he still does their bidding. He's still here. Even though no one listens to his oppositions. Why?

Anyway so if anyone has manga translations past Ch 13 please help I can't find any lol.

[aureatchi]

˚୨୧ ｡ ˚ IT WAS A NIGHT TO REMEMBER . — osamu dazai

⟢ SYNOPSIS. after a long week of work, you and your best friend retreat to a bar to distract yourself from your responsibilities. however, you find it unfulfilling and decide you need to just go home. as you head out the door, you bump into someone more than familiar.

a/n. it’s the way i immediately thought of him when i first heard this song. <3

info. fem!reader. exes to lovers!au. we have the full recipe…fluff; light angst; gets really sugg. mentions of drinking; scars. your best friend hates dazai. hc dazai doesn’t bandage his tummy. (ᗒᗜᗕ) ﾉ wc. 3.6k

“It’s just a lot.”

You just finished the final shift of your job for the week, and you were more than exhausted and burnt out. You had called your best friend immediately after to get some comfort, and despite how busy she was, she agreed to meet you for some drinks and listen to you rant.

“My coworker’s getting on my last nerve,” you continued venting. You had already told her about select crappy people you had to interact with during the day and then your boss, who regarded you with no empathy whatsoever. “Today’s already been bad enough, and then she decides to just pile more stress on me.”

You swished the ice around your emptied glass, creating clanking sounds while coating the cup in water.

“Maybe you should just quit,” your friend replied, taking a sip out of her glass. “I would’ve been long gone if I had to deal with annoying people all around, nine to five.”

She looked up at you. “Besides, you’re well off anyway. I don’t see why you’re working. Are you…trying to distract yourself?”

You sighed. She knew you too well.

“Love, don’t tell me you’re still hung up over—“

“It’s not what you think,” you cut her off, yet you avoided eye contact. It was easier to lie that way. “I just feel I’d have too much free time on my hands. I’m not sure what I’d do with it.”

You let out a dry chuckle. That wasn’t wholly false in itself, either. At your age, everyone had their own things going on—your best friend being an example. Therefore, you couldn’t find much time to go out with any of your friends, and you weren’t interested in meeting new people either.

You could blame your job. Perhaps the ones you meet every day put a sour taste on your tongue, making you lose any desire to interact with strangers. You could blame your exhaustion. Or…

“Honestly, I think that calls for someone new in your life,” your friend replied. “That’ll surely cure your boredom.”

“No thanks. I don’t feel like dating anyone right now.”

“I’m just kidding,” she laughed. “But it’d help you feel less lonely, no?”

“…you didn’t believe my answer to your earlier question, huh?”

“No. Of course not.”

It had been over five months since you broke up with your boyfriend. You tried seeing people after that, but in truth, you were only using them to try to move on.

Once you realized that it wasn’t working and it wasn’t fair for others to play with feelings, you decided to take on a new job on the other side of the city so you’d still get out of your house and have a change of scene.

“…But you know what? Screw him. I will keep saying again and again, I hate that man. Suicidal maniac. I know it’s hard, but you’re too hot to keep dwelling on this. You need to learn to move o—”

Your friend’s phone suddenly buzzed, interrupting her little lecture.

She picked it up, and you waited for her to finish speaking.

“I’m sorry, I think I got to go. I left my boyfriend with my cat, and he just told me he lost her already…” she shook her head. “Have you gotten out everything you wanted to say?”

“Yeah, thanks,” you replied. “I think I’ll go home soon, too. Not really feeling it.”

She stood up, handing you a bill with a smile. “Drinks on me tonight. Don’t complain—I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer. And we didn’t order much anyway.”

“That’s okay; I appreciate you coming to listen to me anyway,” you replied.

“The offer is still open, by the way! If you want to find someone, I’ll schedule a date by this weekend.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever. Thanks.”

…

You only had one more drink before you decided to leave, still mostly sober—you figured it’d just be best if you’d take care of yourself at home.

Another thing your job was also distracting you from was witnessing all the relationships around you. Your friend had to go home for her boyfriend. You noticed a few couples at the bar you were at. You’d probably see more when you walked outside.

Not that you minded, is what you tried to tell yourself every single time. You didn’t have to be with someone. It’s okay to have a break.

But was it okay to still have a particular person at the back of your head all the time?

You stood up, leaving the bill and tip for your bartender before you walked toward the door. Opening it caused the bell attached to it to jingle. You were greeted by a cool, night breeze—and someone’s torso.

“O-Oh, sorry,” you replied, too tired to even catch the face of the person you bumped into.

But you had no choice when the man didn’t move out of the doorframe to walk in or allow you to pass.

So, when you met the almost-surprised, caramel-kissed eyes on a face framed with dark brown bangs and wavy hair, you felt your heart plunge into your stomach.

You whispered his name—almost scared to say it, the syllables feeling foreign from not having spoken it aloud for months.

“…Osamu.”

He was halfway through saying your name when you dashed for the exit, shoving him aside and speed-walking out.

“Wait! Bel—“ he caught himself and shouted your name once more.

You started walking down the parking lot, unsure of where you were trying to go, except away—away from Dazai. You had forgotten this bar was in the heart of the city. You didn’t know Dazai came to this one, but you knew his work was somewhere close.

“Hey!” you felt a breeze behind your back, and then a hand gently land on your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks.

“What…why are you following me?”

You turned around, getting your second full view of your ex for the night.

His hair was a bit longer. He still had those bandages on his neck—did he bother to change them out recently? His scent was as still as you remembered—grassy and toasty, a resemblance to green tea.

“I’m not sure why I’d leave a girl I know to walk alone at night,” he shrugged. “It’s dangerous!”

You continued walking, not responding to his reply.

“Where are we going?”

“Who’s we?”

“Aw, that was really rude.”

You ignored Dazai, making sure your stroll stayed a few feet in front of him.

You then entered a park, him trailing behind you.

“Why were you at the bar alone?”

“That’s none of your business.” You walked down the path, trees casting dark shadows onto the grass under the moon’s light.

“…And I wasn’t alone the entire time. I was with a friend, but she left to attend something.”

Dazai nodded, trying to catch up to your face. You immediately gave him more than enough space when he reached you, not wanting any invasion of your personal space.

“But you usually don’t drink unless you’re either celebrating or stressed,” he said. “And from what I’ve seen, it looks like the latter.”

You stopped again. “Again, it’s none of your business. Maybe you should focus on yours. You go and drink tons when you’re stressed, too.”

“Hey, I’ve actually gotten better at that…”

“You still ended up at a bar midweek.”

“But I didn’t even go in, no? I’m with you at a park right now.”

You were silent once again. But now you couldn’t complain that he was following you.

Why do I care if he drinks or not?

No. It’s normal. You’d care for the well-being of anyone you know.

You approached a set of swings in the center of the park. It had been ages since you’d been on one, swinging back and forth in carefree.

“Want me to push you?” you heard Dazai over your shoulder when you examined the equipment.

“Heck no,” you responded.

“Why not? It’d be fun!” He moved closer.

“No! I’m not sure if it’d even carry me,” you laughed. “It’s for kids.”

“You can try it. Just sit. And I’ll catch you if it breaks—“

“Shut up. I can catch myself.” You lowered yourself onto the seat, seeing that the metal poles did hold. You swung yourself a bit to test if it’d keep up your weight.

“It works.”

“Great! Can I push you now?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t trust you.”

“I won’t kill you, bel—I won’t! I promise.” Dazai childishly held out a pinkie toward you.

You sighed. “Fine. Just please don’t push me too high.” You clasped your pinkie around his.

“I got you!” You felt palms on your back, and then a light push that moved you forward, and then gravity pulled you back toward him.

Everything pulls me back to him—my mind and the universe both.

You were suddenly pushed higher, catching you off guard. You felt yourself fly multiple feet off of the ground, and you clutched the metal in panic.

“H-Help—Osamu!”

“You’re fine. You won’t fall,” Dazai chuckled. He pushed you again, sending you even higher than the previous time. You wanted to scream, but it came out more as a laugh.

“Is the thrill fun?” he asked while you were in the air, noticing your smile.

“Yeah, it is—HEY!”

Dazai had pushed you hard, sending you swinging all around the equipment, in a complete three-sixty.

“Osamu!” you cried, the momentum spinning you around once more. You couldn’t stop it—it was too fast.

You were clutched from behind, arms tightly wrapped around your torso to stop the swing. You could hear the sound of Dazai being dragged through the rocks below, but he was able to ground the both of you before you went flying again.

And you felt warm. Despite the evening’s cool air, you felt like you were encompassed in a fireplace’s heat on a winter day.

“Got you.”

You let out a giant exhale of relief. And then, you turned around in anger.

“I told you not to push me that high!”

“But I didn’t kill you, did I? You stayed on the swing the entire time! You were safe! Plus, I think you enjoyed it.”

You stood up, causing Dazai to let go of his arms. “I’m dizzy now.”

“Do you need water? We can buy some. And did you drive here?”

“No, I took a taxi.”

“Let me drive you home then,” he said.

“I think I’m fin—“

“Please,” he cut you off almost urgently, but then he caught his tone and reverted.

“I mean, many kidnappers disguise themselves as taxi drivers. Especially at night.”

“You’re still so cynical,” you replied. “Stop being so protective. It’s not like we’re…nevermind, sorry.”

You didn’t dare look at Dazai’s expression.

…

You each got a yogurt drink, and it helped soothe your dizziness immediately.

You walked by Dazai silently, but compared to earlier in the night, you were no longer repulsed to standing by him.

He opened his car door for you before getting in his seat on the other side.

“What have you been up to these past months?”

You asked as he found his keys, turning them into gear.

“A case. It’s something huge going on.”

Dazai’s work accounted for part of your breaking up with him. He was too secretive—despite you knew that he trusted you so much that he explained to you exactly what his job consisted of, and he only left details out to protect you from getting involved, you couldn’t handle it.

Maybe you were selfish for that. But you needed to know what your boyfriend was up to—if he was safe. Perhaps that was another reason why. You would never let him go if you knew of the exact danger he was volunteering himself in.

“I see. Sleeping okay?”

“If I do, sure.” He was suddenly reaching over your body, grabbing your seatbelt.

Your heartbeat fastened as Dazai hovered over you, pausing to look at anticipating eyes and a risky glance at slightly parted lips.

He sighed before fastening the buckle and moving away, acting like nothing happened.

…

You two drove in silence, you gazing out of the car window to admire how the city looked in the absence of the sun.

A song was suddenly put on. You looked at Dazai.

“Do you still like this song?”

“Yeah,” you replied. He had put on your favorite song, indeed.

You silently thanked him for it. The awkward tension to speak to one another had vanished; you could indulge yourself in music.

Until it ended, of course, but by then, you could see you were almost home.

“Osamu.”

“Yes?”

“This was a really bad idea. I hope I never see you again after this.”

“Probably, but maybe I wanted it to happen. Maybe I thought about you so much that I had to seize this opportunity.”

“What?”

“What if I hope to see you again after this?”

“You can go flirt with any other girl for entertainment.” He did a lot of that, too. Even if it was Dazai’s most efficient tactic for getting information, he had also said he simply couldn’t help it sometimes.

“I don’t find that interesting anymore.”

You looked at his distant, faint reflection through your window.

“…you think about me?”

You were answered with a nod.

Dazai turned, pulling you into your driveway.

“I’ll continue to even more after tonight,” he said. “Whether we see each other again or not. It plagues my mind every day. What I could’ve done better—how much you deserve that I failed to reach.”

He parked. “Of course, I’ve tried to move on. It’s the most fair thing to do for you. But if someone were to ask me, bella, saying that I don’t still love you would be a lie.”

“You’re selfish,” you commented.

“I know. I’m very.”

You opened the door, stepping out of the car.

“Thank you for driving me,” you said.

You walked towards your front door and then looked back at Dazai, who was standing by his side of the car.

You contemplated for a second.

“D-do you have something to do for the rest of the night?” you carefully asked.

“No.”

“Can you stay? Just for a bit. We can talk about things. And hopefully, you get some answers that will help you stop occupying your mind of me.”

You said that as if you were trying to convince yourself, rather Dazai.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” You pushed open the door.

Dazai followed you as you walked through the house—through the hallway and to the kitchen.

“Do you want something to eat? Or drink?”

“I’m okay, thanks,” he replied.

“Alright. Uh…feel free to make yourself at home. I’m going to change, I’ll be right back.”

…

You walked into your room, first washing your face in the bathroom. You stared at your face through the window, noticing how pigmented your cheeks were.

Why did I do this?

You were in the middle of changing your pajamas when Dazai knocked on your door.

“Can I come in?”

“Uh—“ you hastily buttoned two thirds of your shirt before, “Yeah.”

A smell of your favorite scent immediately flowed into the room as Dazai came in. It was of the candles you had around your house.

“You lit my candles?”

“Yeah. I got curious because the flavors looked nice. I like them. The scent matches you perfectly.”

“Oh…thanks,” you mumbled. You didn’t know how else to respond.

Dazai glanced around your room. Some things changed—you had moved some things around, redone the decor on your nightstands, changed your bed sheets…what he didn’t know was that you actually donated them after the break-up so you would never see them again.

“Did you need something?”

“Yeah. Do you still happen to have bandages?”

“Yes.” You had Dazai sit on the bed while you searched your closet for the box of bandages you would keep for whenever he came over. Unlike your sheets, you had kept them for your emergency first aid.

Or in case he happened to be in an emergency.

“What do you think you could’ve done better?”

There was a silence right after. You had hit Dazai with a hard question first.

“I’d stop disappearing so much without warning. I only realized how much I took that for granted when we stopped seeing each other. I would try to communicate better…” He looked down. “I’m terrible at it, I know, but I would try harder.”

“Why me? You could move on and find some other girl to treat right the first time.” You found the box, pulling it out.

“Because I would feel like a loser,” he added your name to the end of the sentence. “I was a total jerk to someone who loved me, and then I decide to switch it up for someone new and pretend to start on a clean slate? No, bella—I’m cursed with not forgetting and forgiving myself of the past. It feels cowardly.”

“Osamu, stop. You hurt me, yes, but you weren’t the only one in the wrong.

“I-I’m sorry.” You hadn’t apologized to him yet, through months.

You noticed his eyes almost widen, surprised.

“And I also forgive you. It took awhile, but I’m forgiving you of the mistakes that hurt me,” you continued. “And I’m apologizing to you too. So please forgive yourself. You don’t need to feel guilt.

“It’s only fair to you as well to move on.”

“Why, bella? How is it fair? How is it fair when the only person I want to see is you?”

“Osamu.”

You were right in front of him, the closest you’d been to him that night, discarding how he had tightly hugged you on the swing earlier. You were drowned in emotion that surrounded his desperate pleas.

“Can you please bandage me?”

“Why?”

“I miss your touches.”

You regret asking. He had no shame in expressing his thoughts, no matter what you two were going through. You regret asking, yet…

“Your coat.”

You climbed behind and rid Dazai of the top portion of his clothes—his vest and dress shirt. Then, you started unwinding the bandages on his arms, chest, and neck.

Gently, your fingers grazed the scars that hid underneath his attire, and his mind. Months ago, you had learned what every single mark came from after knowing where each one was—it was one detail Dazai fully opened to you about.

You were thankful you couldn’t see scars of the heart.

He would have thrice as many. Perhaps one of them would include you.

You rewrapped Dazai, leaving only his stomach unbandaged. You moved to do his neck when he paused you with his eyes, mere inches away from his face.

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

You wish he weren’t so pretty. You would’ve been able to rationalize yourself quickly—you would’ve been able to give him a final answer without hesitating. But he ended up being the face of your dreams and the depth of your heart.

“I tell myself it’s fair,” you whispered. His nose was almost touching yours. “I tell myself it’s better that we’re done. But my heart isn’t so sure. It asks the same—how is it fair? To keep myself longing?”

Your arms were around Dazai’s neck with the bandage, yet you did not move to finish.

His gaze moved to your lips. A hand moved to your hair.

“Is it fair? If it truly is, push me away, bella.”

He didn’t force himself any closer, leaving you with the choice despite his yearning appearance. You could feel the warmth of his body on yours and the soft air of his breaths on your cheeks.

“Yes. It’s fair, Osamu.” You came to your conclusion.

Yet, you dropped the bandages, cupped his face towards you, and pressed your lips on his.

“But I’m selfish too.”

You moved your hands to waft through brunette locks as Dazai pulled you onto his lap. He held you tightly—desperate at the acceptance of your invitation.

Closer, along with the fresh scent of green tea, there was a note of sweetness as intoxicating as chocolate. You came to know this pleasant surprise every time you were pressed up against him, tucked well into his embrace.

A hand moved down your waist, tracing your curves. Meanwhile, his kisses became sloppier, changing course to your jaw.

“Bella,” he whispered.

“Osamu?”

“Too much? Just let me know.”

“Don’t stop.”

He planted his lips on your neck, leaving a mark when he moved to the next area.

“I don’t want to lose you again. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” you replied, pulling him down over you.

“Everything about you,” Dazai continued. “It’s enchanting. How you smile when you’re flustered—like right now, and how you react when I touch you here…”

His hand found its way under your shirt, and you started laughing. He knew how and where to draw every specific reaction out of you, including where you were most ticklish.

“Osamu! Stop, hah-!”

You let him stay hovered over you and left his curious hands to wander your skin. Dazai looked free of emotional distress for once—being able to calm just by admiring you. It was like medicine.

“Do you still keep a spare pajama set?” he asked.

“Yes. However, the guest room is being renovated.”

“It’s fine. A couch was a luxury for me at one point.”

“Or you…could stay here. And you can have your favorite side, the side closer to the window.”

“Because I always see how the sun’s rays lay on your skin when I wake up,” he smiled. “And how spellbound your eyes make me when you open them and the light hits it.”

“You remember so much.”

“I told you how much I think about you, belladonna. I remember every night that I’m with you.”

dazai listens to music w/ u if u rb. reblogs are cherished; they support me as a creator. <3

© AUREATCHI 2023. no reposts or translations. do not steal.

[noodlesoup1819]

Day 2: Mental Disability - Autistic Ranpo

I didn't get to doing anything proper for this day, but Autistic Ranpo is featured heavily on Day 7, so keep an eye out for that. (this can sort of be read as the background for that post if you want to know what my personal interpretation is.)

Instead let's talk about some of my Autistic Ranpo Headcanons! (ft. Poe and emotional support animal Karl)

(these are my personal hcs based on my autistic experience and is not reflective of everyone's interpretation and experience of autism <3)

I think Ranpo went undiagnosed until several months of living with Fukuzawa. Because of Ranpo's intellect, no one ever really questioned the things he struggled with until Fukuzawa.

The first time Fukuzawa started thinking there might be something actually up (rather than Ranpo just being Ranpo) was the first time he properly got lost trying to navigate the subway. Ranpo ended up going missing for serval hours 4 towns over and Fukuzawa finally found him curled up on a bench having a meltdown.

Another thing that clued him in was food. Fukuzawa, trying to be the Responsible Adult™️, pushed a little too hard about not having so many sweets. It wasn't until there was a big blow-up fight about it that Fukuzawa understood that Ranpo wasn't just being picky.

It took a little time, but the two of them fell into a rhythm and Fukuzawa became a safe space for Ranpo.

Before the agency was set up properly, Fukuzawa kept stim toys and earplugs in his sleeves for whenever Ranpo needed them. (now he keeps them in his desk drawer)

After getting a diagnosis and settling into the agency, Ranpo manages his autism much better. The agency always has someone there to help him navigate, everyone respects him in spite of his childish demeanor, and he has a very set routine.

When things do get overwhelming, he still has places within the agency to calm down. Fukuzawa will always let him join him for tea in his office. Having made a bit of an adoptive sister in Yosano she let's him chill out in his office if he ever needs any down time (everyone's too scared of her to bother him when he's in there.)

The rest of the agency is good at accommodating him too. Kunikida has no problem using his ability to make stim toys or aids for him whenever they're out on a case. Dazai, while kind of a pain in the ass, gives him some good intellectual stimulation when they hang out that's hard for him to get elsewhere (they're besties you can't convince me otherwise). Atsushi carries around snacks for him. And everyone regardless of who they are will help him navigate transportation.

Eventually he also has Poe who he can either go to or call to come and bring Karl. The author has a really calming presence and having a soft animal to pet and play with always helps.

Speaking of Poe, their first interaction will always haunt him as one of his autistic blunders. Ranpo really respected him as a detective and wanted to complement his skills... but didn't quite realize comparing him to himself would sound like gloating. He's really glad to have met Poe again (even if it was through a 6 year revenge plot).

Poe also understands his autism in a way that most people don't, being autistic himself.

The first time Ranpo had a proper meltdown around Poe was before Ranpo had the chance to explain his autism to him. After calming down, Ranpo was super impressed with how Poe dealt with it and it led to a conversation about both of their experiences growing up and why Poe has Karl as his emotional support animal.

Ranpo also gets headaches frequently. He's never really found a cause, but he suspects his autism has something to do with it.

When he was young and lived with Fukuzawa, Fukuzawa would let him sleep with his head in his lap and play with his hair when things got bad. (He would still let him, but Poe does it most often now)

This got long 😅 but I hope you enjoyed! 💖

[elvestoneanzelote1]

A:n- you can find the story in wattpad too! Also hope you like it!

Y/n here is pronounced as he/him and its a male reader..! Though others can also read it.

Warning: 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗱, 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀, Y/n is 17-18 around as Dazai is 14-15 around.

You can view it romantically or platonically..

It was overwhelming silence.

The dull exterior features.

Walking on the hallways.

Murmurs among the people.

The death of the mafia boss was overwhelming.

Some.. where confused of what to do.

The people were murmuring as the boy watch the man who killed the boss talk among the others.

They believe, his lies.

He witnessed them.

Those bloods.

But, who will belief, it either way.

And what's the point of, him telling it out.

No one, will belief him nor, he cares about it.

The darkness of endlessness void his eyes held, His hands and an eye have have a bandages, His dull lifeless brown stares mindlessly beside the raven hair male.

They come to the conclusion to choose the next boss.

It was.. none other then the man, himself that kill the previous as no one suspect maybe some.. But who are they to raise their voice to the superior, right?

The satsification.. can be seen in his eyes as the boy was quiet.

The proclamation of whatever was happening he, care less about it.

The room of emptiness as he lay on bed to let the day pass by.

The next day, was the day officially for the ravenette hair male to be the boss of Port Mafia, Ougai Mori as he sighed in satisfaction with the interior design of seats to his liking for now.

He can change it latter after some days latter.

"Can one of you go and call, L/n?" Said Mori while, taking a seat to his new seat after analysing the room. The boy stood beside him, he doesn't know.. what anguish will occur in his life nor he find the meaning by been here.

The guard nod and bow as they left.

It was silent, as the boy stare blankly at the front.

"The person, will be your new teacher to teach you some basics" said the man directing to the boy which was a lie more like teaching him deciplines while, side glance at the boy, whose eyes widen a bit yet, a blank dull expression present on his face as the older male smile in satisfactions.

It was already, two days after the incident, yesterday was a rest, today is the day he started accepting the life of killing..

There was a knock snapping the boy out of trance as the male told the person to come in.

The small boy stare at the new person on the room with, a blonde hair girl clutching on his left hand.

"Oh~ you brought her on time, I was getting worried if, she is straying for far too long, from me" said Mori smiling at the young male who looks to be around 17? Or 18? It was none other then you.

You bow a bit with your right hand on your chest as the girl came to the boy side curious of him, though she knows better to be near him.

"Greetings, Sir, is something you need to called me, out here? But it also, help me to message out my thoughts today.." You asked and mumble out the last words while, straightening your posture as a blank expression present on your expression.

"Well, y/n-kun.. I brought you a new student! And today you will start training him, so he will become my right hand man! But if you need an assistance I will gladly ask, someone" Said Mori happily or so he seems while smiling at you as your eyes catches on to the dull brown eye who, gaze away from eyes contact.

"I have no interest in keeping an student nor an assistant, Sir" you said dismissing any formed of interaction with the kid.

Mori smile widens as he slowly shook his head as Elise chuckle while, on Mori lap.

"Well, why must you know I'm the boss here"

"You must have forgotten, I plan to leave." you said simply with a bored expression as Mori smile stiffens recalling the contract as he chuckle.

"Well, I will say.." As he glance at the boy who was staring at you, "he have an interesting ability"

"And, what may that be?" you asked as Ougai tilted his head while, keeping an hand on Elise head.

"That's yours, to find out"

"..." You sighed while massaging your forehead as your eyes landed on the brown ones again.

"So? Do you consider to take him as your student now? Y/n?" Said Mori smiling as he knew he perk your interest.

"Alright" you said simply as Mori nodded making the boy confused.

"Is there a specific thing I need to keep in mind?" You asked with a neutral expression as Mori thought for a moment as Elise whispered something to him making him chuckle then stare at you.

"Just be yourself, with him however you want! As I don't care as long as he is been trained, you can hurt him, torture him, experiment him, Break him, but don't kill him off alright?" Said Mori as Elise chuckle.

You nod while glance at the boy who was now stood beside you.

"We shall be taking.. our leave" you said bowing a bit about to walk off with the small boy until.

"Ah right, Dazai.. can I have a word with you.. And Y/n-kun, can you wait for him a couple of minutes?" Mori spoke out as the boy stopped on his way as You walk out of the room awaiting them to talk it out or whatever, it seems.

✼••┈••✼••┈••✼••┈••✼••┈••✼

"What's your name?" You asked while, holding holding his left hand on your right hand (even I am confuse.. You got the idea right? I hope).

The boy look up as his eyes was a bit not weary but also not too comfortable.

"Osamu Dazai" (first name to last name).

"Alright, Dazai.. My name's Y/n L/n, and today on wards I'm.. Your teacher" you said with a doubt in tone as you clearly wasn't planing to have a students.

It wasn't painful how he thought it will be, tiresome it is but not painful.

Dazai was confused of the male, his teacher been calm and serious while training him.

He assume it to be harsher.. Yes it is harsh regime training as he could handle it either way but you never raise your hand nor beat him to vulnerable in mistakes.

"Take a break" Asked a voice, the boy eyes felt onto the taller male who had kept an hand on his shoulder.

His eyes stared at the e/c eyes that was warm yet, at the same time cold.

The boy hesistantly nod as he assume you to be easy for the first day.. Maybe, you will start showing your true colours after some times.

As it is port Mafia, violence is common isn't it?.

"Do you understand, Dazai?" You asked Monotonely as he blink in confusion.

"Can.. You repeat it?" He Muttered out as you nodded.

You repeat the words as you were Patience enough.

Maybe that's why.. You seem kind.. Maybe your patience was the reason of tolerating him.

He is an orphan after all, your just tolerating him.. Aren't you?

Your just tolerating him, right?.

But.. why is he believing you? Like a fairy tale book that he can be loved by someone, When Every time you said, he can talk out with you.. His feelings..

He don't need you.

He doesn't need you.

He shouldn't need you.

He should not need you.

Yet, Why does he yearn for your warmness of your hands while, patting his head as a praise or hold his hand when, he have anxiety outburst.

Why does every time.. he achieve bigger, despite the others praise he yearn for your words.. Of what you have to say?.

Is it.. because you are.. ordered by Mori?

Is it.. because you are.. forced?

Is it.. from your.. own kindness?

Or is it.. from your greed?

Is it..?

He doesn't know, why..

He doesn't know, why you take the small samples of his bloods.

He doesn't know, why you stare at him like.. He is important.

He doesn't know, why you wanted him.

He doesn't know, why you are curious of his ability..

He doesn't know, why you smile at him in fondness whenever, he crack bit of his ability.

He doesn't know.. Why..

He knew, The endless dreams of nightmares of his misfortune.

He knew, he was made for.. bloodshed.

He knew, he is just a kid.. But also a monster.

He knew, everyone feared of his overwhelming progress in ranks to become Mori, right hand man.

As the time went by, that day change his view for you.

The blood on his hands make him feel sick as the blood of the enemy was satisfying when it died slowly, he lick off the blood on his hand.

(Here the pic, sorry it didn't came out earlier)

"Dazai" a voice call out his name as he flinch, his hands no.. His entire body tremble as he slowly turn to see what he dreaded.

"Sensei.." He muttered out as he knew he did something he shouldn't have..

He murder someone without your approval.

It was.. his fault!

It was.. The person!

It was the person provoking him..

He wanted to speak up as he dropped the knife when you approached him.

As you signed the other guard (two) to leave the bloodied room.

"Sen..sei.. I.. I-" he couldn't speak his words in denial as he feel his anxiety perking up again.

It is a place of violence.. And killing but.. He did that without your words..

He disobeyed you.

He kill the person who held information.

"Why did you kill.. him?" You asked while bending on his eye level as he stare back in fear.

"I.. I didn't meant to! I-i!"

"Calm down, tell me what happen"

As he froze, at your word.. You want him to calm down? Aren't you angry at him? Aren't you going to punished him? Why.. Are you saying him to calm down..

Maybe, to know what really happens then be punished accordingly..

"He.. Started to..provoking.. And.."

A finger of yours on his lips shushed him as he doesn't know why, his tears fall and hands tremble.

His lips tremble not from cold but, in fear that you are going to abandoned him.

"You may leave to your room... We will talk later.." You said standing up while arranging your gloves and approaching the death body as he knew what it means.

You were disappointed in him.. Right?

Your going to abandoned him.. Aren't you..?

"Don't.."

"..huh?"

"Don't abandoned me!" He shouted to you alarming you as he hugged your waist as his head behind your back.

"I will take any punishment! But don't leave me!"

"Dazai"

"Please! I know I have disappointed you, I!"

Dazai eyes widen as you let go from his hug and turn to face him.

He shouldn't cry..

He shouldn't have cried..

He shouldn't show weakness..

He shouldn't have shown weakness..

He shouldn't react to provocation.

He shouldn't have..

His hands tremble more as he realise he is going to lose your warm.. Your love.. Your worriedness.. Your love.. Isn't he.. No.. No.. He can't.. You can't just do that.. Will you?

"L/n-sensei! Please don't-!"

He frozed as he felt the embrace of yours to his pettite formed.

Tears fall as he hug you back in unbelieving expression.

You were hugging him.. Why?

"Calm down, He is already death so no need to be worried.. Your still learning".

His eyes close as he let himself feel your warmness.

" will.. You abandoned me?" He mutter as he feel you shook your head making him sighed in relief as he felt asleep on your embrace.

He finally realize.. That.. Your kindness is from your own.. And not ordered..

Yet, He realize that.. You also, care for anyone who you become, close with.

He realize that.. You are patient to anyone even if, you have to repeat thrice or fourth times.

He realize that.. You cared for him.

He realize that.. You are kind.

He realize that.. No one but him knows the kind side of yours.

He realize that.. You get worried for him..

He realize that.. You are important to him, too....

He realize that.. He can share his feelings openly with you.

Over the pass months you are the person who he was been loved and is love.. Right..?

But.. Why?

..........

....

..

...

...

..

.

"L/n-sensei"

"Yeah?"

He clutch on to the hem of your coat making, you look at him.

The older female who was around your age stopped talking as she flinch at Dazai appearance suddenly, present here.

She bowed excusing herself as you softly smile and spoke some words as she blush and left happily.

He hate it.

He hate it.. When, you smile to others.

He hate it, when you are wasting your time.. Socializing, uninteresting people.

He hate it... When your attention divert from him.

He doesn't know.. why he hate it.

Yet, he still does..

"What is it, Dazai?" You asked as now your attention was on him as the fourteen year old boy smile up at you.

"Sir Mori, said to call us in his office."

.

.

.

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗲.. 𝗪𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻�� 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁.. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼 𝗼𝗻𝗲.. 𝗘𝗹𝘀𝗲..

A:n- that's all good day/night to you all! Hope you have a great day ahead.!

[nauseaspecters]

i don't enjoy the fandom depiction of chuuya being the 'second choice' character trope all his life.

unedited rambling under the cut. i'll structure my text posts better when it's not 4am

he's experienced and underwent through a lot of situationd of abandonment and betrayal, with unreciprocated attachments, definitely.

for the sheep, although they were almost like his family, since they were all he knew for 8 years, they viewed him as a weapon and a tool. stormbringer elaborates and adds complexity to this later but as a basis, it was true that they viewed this young teenager (chuuya) as more of an indispensably strong weapon to protect their survival, yet dispensable as a human if chuuya were to 'fall' to the other side. so much so that they jump to the chance to stab him (literally.) it's true chuuya does experience varying levels of not feeling he is doing enough.

however, to dwindle his character trope down to being "the other woman" type trope or the "constant second choice" is a misunderstanding of not only his character, but the characters around him as well. i see this seen most with dazai, mori, kouyou and the sheep.

in the case regarding dazai: chuuya is often labelled as the second choice to oda, and sometimes people use it as a point to pity chuuya in. however, it should be considered that chuuya and oda, and what they meant to dazai, cannot be compared. their relationships and significance to dazai were not in the same realm, and to think of it as "dazai chose oda over chuuya" ignores all the other factors as to what their relationship is built on. also, dazai choosing to leave the pm is not choosing oda over chuuya, it's hardly even related to chuuya, and especially not some decisive battle. it was dazai who was impacted by his dying friend's wishes and words, and he left for many reasons. ugh i will speak forever so i'll make that a different post. TLDR: chuuya is not the second choice to 'oda'

in the case regarding kouyou: i don't see this as commonly and i'm honestly a sucker for chuuya angst, but i don't think it's also right to think of chuuya as a second choice to kyouka in terms of kouyou's affection/care. firstly, kyouka is a young girl, and kouyou identifies herself in kyouka, with a deeper attachment of obsessive protection and instillment of what kouyou experienced. since kouyou was hurt by trying to reach the 'light', and she sees that same self in kyouka, kouyou shields kyouka in an unhealthy manner and isolates her from what she think will ultimately fail her. chuuya is a boy and from what we know, kouyou most likely does not see chuuya in the same style of projection and reflection. she's set to mentor chuuya in a very professional PM standpoint, and most likely does not form that deeper neurotic attachment that she has to kyouka. yes, chuuya calls her ane-san, but that doesn't mean they're necessarily also the closest. so to say that chuuya is the second choice to kyouka is strange, as it's not even a choice. chuuya is not in the picture for the type of internal bond that kouyou feels towards kyouka.

some additional stuff bdcause im rambling:

there's some weird extreme perceptions of kouyou as either someone that doesn't care about chuuya and a very close older-sister like doting on chuuya (the latter being a popular interpretation). i think kouyou cares to some extent, yeah. i think a lot of the pm that interact more extensively cares about each other to some extent. however, we do need to remember this is in the context of the PM. it's an inherently toxic and unstable environment, rooted in , well, Crime and power dynamics. kouyou was probably not the perfect mentor to chuuya, and nor are they some close healthy protective sibling-type dynamic either. the PM is rooted in abuse and a dark environment, it's unrealistic to think that a relationship we barely see much of is sunshine and rainbows.

ps: also sometimes it's not the matter of being a second choice he is just not a choice. as sad as that may sound.

[starlightshadowsworld]

I got asked earlier what my thoughts are on the Mori is Atsushi’s dad theory. And personally I don’t buy into it (full breakdown is here incase anyone’s curious.)

But I find it an interesting idea and wanted to play around with it. So here’s my concept for what if Mori was Atsushi’s dad.

Mori knew he’d need a successor for when he took over the Port Mafia. It’d be easier for it to be his own heir. But he wasn’t exactly jazzed about having a baby to look after.

As time went on tho Mori did develop a bond with Atsushi. He wouldn’t call it love but he did feel some affection for him. A feeling that definitely grew when Atsushi manifested a powerful ability.

At first as far as Mori knew, it was simply to turn into a tiger. Which in enough itself was impressive. But that Atsushi got into an accident (as babies do) but miraculously his ability seemed to heal his wounds.

Upon closer inspection Mori realises it wasn’t quite regeneration. But reversion, bringing him back to his original state and thus no longer being injured (same analysis Yosano makes in season 1.)

Definitely does has a “of course he has a powerful ability, he is my son after all” moment. And things would’ve stayed mostly peaceful until the Great war. Mori ends up heading off and has enough sense not to bring his 4 year old with him (but bringing an 11 year old is clearly fine.)

And so Atsushi is left in the care of his mother. Mori and her aren’t together, they are amicable and only really interact if it concerns Atsushi. She’s even dating another man, a cute Russian man who offers to look after her son when an emergency comes up.

One he is directly responsible for because ✨surprise ✨ it’s Fyodor. He takes Atsushi to a far away orphanage, weaving a story about a poor child he found in a bin. Atsushi’s mum is horrified when she comes home, and turns out Fyodor was in disguise and using a fake name.

And because there was a whole thing about the northern lights in the Great War causing emp waves (or something), the phone service is shit and Mori doesn’t find out until he returns. He doesn’t exactly take the news well.

It’s then that Natsume reveals to him what the book is and Atsushi’s connection to it. Saying he didn’t say anything prior because he wanted to be completely sure. And had he known this man was after Atsushi he would have. Mori’s not exactly happy but he understands.

This whole thing only fuels his desire to be PM Boss. Knowing he’ll gain the resources to locate his son. Life carries on and Mori sits on the throne of the PM. The only people who knew of his son were Dazai and Chuuya, and Mori tells them at the same time.

When Chuuya is lashing out in Mori’s office about what he’s lost to the old Boss Mori says he understands. He understands how it feels to lose everything you hold dear, but also to rise above and take control. “I had a son. He was stolen from me, and I will rake this earth until I find him alive.”

When Chuuya joins he says something like “when the day comes you find a lead. I will do everything in my power to bring your son back to you.”

That lead would come 6 years later when a bounty for a tiger is given to the PM. And Mori freezes at the sight of its eyes, he’d know those eyes anywhere.

Everyone’s confused as to why the bounty isn’t being taken, except for Chuuya who puts two and two together. Akutagawa is instructed to bring the weretiger back.

But under no circumstances is he to hurt him. This goes out the window once Atsushi joins the Agency and Dazai, while captured purposefully riles up Akutagawa. Because he realised Atsushi’s identity and won’t let Mori take him.

Things carry on, Akutagawa’s on thin fucking ice as is Kouyou but things go on.

Atsushi and Mori still meet in Anne’s Room. Atsushi thinks he looks familiar and Mori pretends he doesn’t know him. And gives him advice, he’s curious to see what his son has grown into. And also doesn’t want their reunion to take place here.

Mori is also more open to a truce even if he doesn’t accept it right away, especially when learning it was Atsushi’s idea.

Atsushi doesn’t learn the truth until Dead Apple. He doesn’t take it well but learns to accept himself. Akutagawa gives him a good tongue lashing for not telling him and the Agency accepts Atsushi.

Atsushi and Mori don’t meet properly until the Cannibalism arc, truly wonderful timing. He feels guilty for worrying about Mori. Speaking of, Mori finally learns Fyodor’s the one who stole Atsushi, after being stabbed by him.

There’s really no easy way to break it to Atsushi that the Agency are going to kill his dad. He’s against it (even more so than in canon) and wants to try and find a different solution. But after the lead is a failure, all Atsushi asks is if he can at least say goodbye.

His friends grant him that at least.

Atsushi walks up to PM headquarters to Chuuya who stops the goons from trying to shoot him.

Atsushi: Do you know who I am?

Chuuya: The Agencies Weretiger?

Atsushi: Not that. It’s…About your Boss.

Chuuya: So you found out. Yeah, what about it?

Atsushi: I want to see him. I don’t know what’ll happen but, I know this might be my last chance.

Chuuya passes a message on, gets the okay and sends a goon with Atsushi to go up. “And kid, for what it’s worth. He’s missed ya.”

Mori is sat up in bed and sends Kouyou out. It’s awkward at first but Mori doesn’t seem phased by it. Asking how Atsushi is and sharing old stories.

Atsushi getting emotional because he was told he was abandoned. Mori firmly remarking that he wasn’t, that Mori scoured the country and than some for him.

That he was missed, dearly.

Atsushi saying that he wished they had more time. And that he’s trying to find a different solution, giving a teary smile when Mori comments he truly did take after him. Mori has no doubt he’ll survive this but simply says he has faith in Atsushi.

If he says theres a solution where everyone survives then there will be. And that when it comes they should get dinner, whatever he likes.

“Do you still love chazuke?”

“It’s my favourite.”

“Mine too. Chazuke it is then.”

Atsushi leaves with hesitation and the assassination plot kicks off and fails. The rest of the plan is carried out and the end has Atsushi and Mori eating chazuke together at a restaurant.

Atsushi knows what kind of man Mori is, but he’s also his dad. He knows he cares in his own way and wouldn’t hurt him. And they are allies currently.

Chuuya goes back for Atsushi during the rescue and finds he’s missing. Which gives Mori a heart attack until he realises Atsushi snuck out with Kyouka and made a deal with Fitzgerald.

Does he wish Atsushi came to him? Yes, though he does understand Atsushi’s reasoning and touched he didn’t want to drag the PM into this (oh dear boy we were involved when you got dragged into it.)

Also doesn’t appreciate Fitzgerald manipulating his son.

Things go on, worlds saved until it isn’t and Mori gets up to greet Atsushi. And for the first time, hugs him. Atsushi breaks down and Mori tells him this will all be fixed.

That damn rat had taken too much from Atsushi, he wouldn’t take anymore. Ability or not, Mori would find a way to kill him if he tried. He couldn’t even be happy at having his son in his rightful home.

Fyodor was going to pay dearly.

[kunikida-spotted]

hi hi!! since you like kunikida, i feel like you’re the right person to ask :D

how do you think kunikida would act/show care for people around him? the ada for example.

i’m writing a fic about how kunikida silently shows his care for the agency, but i tend to struggle with characterisation so i need your thoughts. because he obviously cares for the ada members a lot, but i don’t know how to portray it in a way that’s not too “soft” or “goody-two shoes” while still making it clear that he does love these people.

sorry if this is out of the blue lol :’) ty for your time!!

ACKKK THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!

I love analyzing characters 😼

this is going to be a long one. I do not apologize because I love kunikida

also tumblr ate this ask so I found this in my notifs and not my ask box

(also I want the fic please please please I want to read it please)

Some things are canon (first few) others aren't.

We already have seen a few ways he shows care for members!!

Dazai;

-Calling daily. It's in his schedule to call Dazai. And to make sure he's coming into work.

-Telling Dazai he can always vent if he needs to.

-"You were so talented. I couldn't have asked for a better partner."

-Buys Dazai food. Also Kunikida makes food for Dazai. (not canon but hey. he would and you know it)

-They banter a lot, but we still know Kunikida cares.

-Kunikida listens to Dazai (Dazai rambles a lot)

-Also hugs. A lot of hugs. Like he just gives him hugs. Kunikida will hold Dazai and rock him, idc what anyone says.

Atsushi; (I've realized this is all canon info and not personal headcanons)

-Praise. He does respect Atsushi, especially after he saved Kyoka. (After saving Kyoka, he praised him by saying 'good job')

-Yes he gives Atsushi lectures and reminders.

-Kunikida is proud of everything Atsushi has done. He compliments Atsushi's work (Kunikida compliments everyone for their work btw)

-Kunikida trains Atsushi!!

-Also let's not forget the hug they shared during the reunion.

Ranpo; (this is also all canon..)

-Kunikida praises Ranpo often. Like really often.

-"We'll be counting on you, Ranpo-san."

-"The ideal detective— no, in fact, the ideal ability user."

-Even after learning about Ranpo not being gifted, he still acts like Ranpo is.

-They do have a close bond. Ranpo has told Kunikida that he's the strongest. Ranpo also supports Kunikida, and tells him to stay calm and act like Fukuzawa during the cannibalism arc. (This is more about Ranpo, but still it shows they're close enough to say this stuff to each other)

Yosano;

-Respect! He does respect Yosano just like the other members.

-He surrendered his own life for Yosano's. This was because of the Hunting Dogs. (this goes along with respect)

-He knows Yosano's schedule. Take that as you will.

-Kunikida fully believes that Yosano can always help him no matter the injury. He doesn't care if he's injured because he knows Yosano can help him.

-Because of that one, I'd believe that he'd do a lot for Yosano as thanks. Gift giving, hugs, whatever Yosano is comfortable with.

Kyoka;

-Kunikida is very kind towards Kyoka. He opens up to her after her entrance exam. Which we can see the differences in the anime and manga.

-Kunikida gives lots of advice to Kyoka. He does the same for Atsushi. I'd say this is because he's technically a "higher up" because he joined before the two of them.

-He has also given Kyoka a page of his notebook in case of emergency while Kyoka was trying to save Atsushi. (canon)

-Definitely helps her with tasks. If she's struggling, no she isn't, Kunikida is right there.

-Headpats!! And he gives her stuffed animals as gifts.

-Did I mention that he definitely carries a stuffed animal on him at all times just so he can give it to Kyoka? Because he 100% does (prove me wrong challenge) (level impossible)

Kenji;

-Kunikida actually knows a lot about Kenji. Specifically his ability and the way he acts with others.

-Unfortunately there aren't many interactions of the two.

-However, I think Kunikida would do everything Kenji wants. Not just because he's a higher up/ superior, but also because he has a weakness to Kenji. nobody wants Kenji angry.

-Both can easily give bone crushing hugs, so I think it's easier for them to hug each other than to hug other people.

-Yes Kunikida buys Kenji food. Yes he gives Kenji blankets for when he falls asleep. Asagiri told me himself trust me

-Kenji and Kyoka play with stuffed animals and dolls/ toy animals. Kunikida now keeps some random toys and animals with him just to calm them down.

-Kunikida also buys Kenji stuffed animals because he realized Kyoka liked them and Kenji seemed to want them as well.

Junichiro;

-Canonically, they do trust each other!

-I think Kunikida treats him to food a lot. Just as a little treat.

-Also praise. If we know he canonically can give praise then he should praise Junichiro for his hard work.

-Junichiro likes physical touch (my opinion) so I think Kunikida gives him hugs and pats on the back.

-Like you know that thing people do where they pat someone's back and then rub it? That's literally Kunikida to anyone I think. Just mainly Atsushi and Junichiro.

Naomi;

-I don't think they've like canonically interacted?

-Also treats Naomi to food. Just mainly sweets because she loves sweets.

-Hugs. The Tanizaki siblings love physical touch. That's their number one love language.

-Pats on the head for good work.

Haruno;

-They don't hang out much. But he will visit her.

-Daily check ups. He just visits her or goes to her during work and asks if everythings okay. (I think he does this to everyone, just a headcanon)

-Also headpats. At this point he has probably patted every single person's head at some point. Except for Fukuzawa (out of respect for him)

Fukuzawa;

-He has a lot of respect for him. We know this.

-Asking how his day was, making sure he's okay.

-Buying/ making him tea.

-Taking him out for food or drinks, whatever Fukuzawa is preferring in the moment.

-Hugged him once. Was horrified about it. Was also embarrassed because he didn't even mean to like it just happened.

-Fukuzawa didn't mind and hugged him back. This only made Kunikida more embarrassed. Also I think Kunikida's face and ears go read when he's embarrassed.

Katai; (if you're including him)

-They've known each other for ten years. They know each other well.

-Kunikida visits him often. Normally he reminds him to do chores, or does the chores himself.

-Kunikida encourages Katai to go outside. He'll also tell Katai to try going out without his futon.

-They're very close! Kunikida knows basically everything about Katai, and knows how to help him out.

-Kunikida praises Katai. (all above canon and this too)

-Kunikida makes food for Katai. I think he does it because Katai doesn't eat healthy food often.

-Kunikida and Katai cuddle. Trust me guys (whatt I'm definitely not a kunikatai shipper hahaa that'd be so weird..)

-Kunikida tries to go out with Katai but because Katai is a hikikomori it's pretty hard to do.

-Kunikida listens to all of Katai's ramblings on literally anything. Katai will listen about Kunikida's ideals too.

-Kunikida gives Katai words of affection a lot. Katai is insecure and Kunikida knows. That is why.

----------------

Unintentionally he will headpat people at the agency. Like "Good work." and then suddenly his hand his on their head and he pats it. Not even for a specific reason, he's just did it so frequently to the younger members and now it happens to everyone.

He takes everyone out for food/ drinks seperately, just so they can have a little bonding moment.

----------------

This definitely didn't take like two or three days tee hee

Lots of tags because this took a lot of time

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Anime Convention (feat. someone real). Interlude I

Self-Aware! Ayatsuji Yukito x GN! Reader

Description of Interlude I:

Cats can be mischievous thieves. And, sometimes, they could steal something interesting.

Ayatsuji try to make sense of what he has learned and take a trip down the memory line.

🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️

For Ayatsuji Yukito, self-awareness was a blessing. For Ayatsuji Yukito, Real World is big and unexplored. Yukito Ayatsuji must learn, how to interact with Real World.

Yukito Ayatsuji has two cats. And there is only one can of cat food left. He also has almost no tobacco left.

He needs to face Real World and went to the store.

He is lucky, that Guiding Light is also home.

A.K.A. Shy and timid Reader are more important, than they think they are.

🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️

Ayatsuji's P.O.V.

Warning: OOC. English is my second language. Slight mentions of stalking (BSD Cast had access to Reader's messenger and phone). Reader have some negative feelings towards them. Reader try to be better.

Set at the same time, as Part I, and flashback took place two weeks before Part I. [Before people started gossip about Reader, but, after people saw Albatross and Doc]

Mall trip incident described here

<| Part 1 |_________| Part II | >

___________

Ayatsuji was sitting in his chair, reading a book [Y/N] gave him. To be more specific, it was a library book, that Ayatsuji wanted to read and that was put under [Y/N]'s name. The book was a compilation of mystery novels by different authors.

It not only was a way to spend time for Ayatsuji. It was a “training”. Training, before Ayatsuji could read a book with his name on a cover.

He knew, that there was a specific someone in this world. Author. Reason, why Ayatsuji existed in the first place. The reason, why his ability was named Another, why his ability worked the way it worked. Author was the reason of everything, that was happening with Ayatsuji Yukito.

Ayatsuji can't say, for sure, who exactly he meant by “Author”. His namesake… Or…

Meowing, that came from the door to Ayatsuji's room grabbed his attention. Meowing sounded odd. Like it was muffled. Ayatsuji knew too well, what it means. Cats were back from “treasure hunting” and wanted to show him, what they have found.

Ayatsuji put a bookmark between pages and closed the book. He signed and looked at his cats. Mei and Misaki¹ were good cats, but, sometimes, they liked to steal something to show their master.

Ayatsuji blamed Karl and Poe for that behavior. Karl often brought things to Poe, and Poe also asked Karl to bring small things to Ranpo. This behavior rubbed on Ayatsuji's cats, and they started to act the same way. The only problem was that Ayatsuji didn't ask for anything to be brought to him. Unfortunately, cats refused to stop. The list of stolen things already included Dazai's bolo tie, Q's doll, Ranpo's glasses, Kunikida's notebook and Yosano's hairpin. Thankfully, cats were careful, and all things were returned to their owners good as new.

“What did you two steal this time?” mumbled Ayatsuji, standing up.

Mei, black cat, meowed again. She was holding a few papers in her mouth. No, not just papers. There were some text on them. A document?

Misaki, a calico cat, pawed on the corner of the document. Before cats could damage it, Ayatsuji took it away. Cats looked at Ayatsuji, waiting for a praise. Ayatsuji crook an eyebrow.

“You do realize, that earlier we will have to apologize for your behavior, right?”

Cats looked unbothered by it. Ayatsuji sighs and adjust his glasses. He starts reading the document's text.

“Okay, who it belongs to…” Ayatsuji's eyes widened. It was a rent contract. With [Y/N]'s name on it. And it wasn't expired.

“They're still keeping their old apartment… Why?” whispered Ayatsuji. His gaze stopped on the rent's price. It was higher, that before.

All of them knew, how much you paid for your previous apartment. You always send screenshots, proves of successful payments, to your landlord.

Why were you renting an apartment you didn't use?

Cats rubbed against his back. They looked at their master, waiting for something. For praise, or… For an order?

Ayatsuji took his phone and took a picture of the contract. He kneeled before his cats, holding contact towards them.

“Mei, Misaki, thank you. Now, please, took it back where you found it. And I… I need to go to my collection.”

The cats purred, and Misaki took the document in her mouth. Ayatsuji and both cats left the room. Mei and Misaki ran towards [Y/N]'s room. With the corner of his eye, Ayatsuji noticed a familiar striped tail. That explained, how his cats managed to open whatever drawer, where [Y/N] hid the contract.

_____

Ayatsuji Yukito was glad, that he was able to took his collection here. It helps him think.

Surrounded by puppets, he sat in an armchair. His eyes were closed.

“Why… Why [Y/N] are keeping the apparent?” Ayatsuji mumbles under his breath.

Did [Y/N] leave something in the old apartment, that they can't move to the new house? Unlikely. Ayatsuji remembered the day they helped [Y/N] with moving out. All furniture and washing machine belonged to the landlord. The biggest and heaviest of Guiding Light's belongings were a mini fridge, microwave, mini stove and vacuum cleaner. They and the rest of [Y/N]'s belongings were transported in Annie's room and didn't take too much of a space.

So, not it.

Are [Y/N] planning to leave them? Did he and others do something wrong? Were they too forward? Are [Y/N] afraid of them?

Should Ayatsuji confront [Y/N]? Should he tell others?

Ayatsuji shook his head.

Stop. He is getting too worked up. No. He should start with the first question.

Are [Y/N] planning to leave them?

Ayatsuji opened his eyes and focused on one of the dolls. The first new addition to his collection.

Present from [Y/N].

🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️

/Two weeks ago/

Mei and Misaki were rubbing against his legs, waiting for their food.

Ayatsuji send a quick glance towards his pets, smiling slightly, but frowned, when he looked at the shelf in kitchen's cabinet, where animal food were kept.

Enough raccoon's food and birds' seeds.

And only one can of cat food left.

Enough for today. But he had to buy more.

Had to go outside, to the pet store, and buy more cat food.

Mechanically, he opened the can, put food in two bowls and put them down on the floor. Mei and Misaki purred gratefully, before digging in. Ayatsuji pet both cats, looking out the window.

Outside… All of them fight tooth and nail to get into the real world. Not only to see Guiding Light, but to finally start living their lives.

Who could guess, that they would be horrified of the real world.

Ayatsuji wasn't an exception. He was also nervous about the Real World.

And “Another” wasn't the reason for his fear.

At first, self-awareness was “shocking, but it doesn't change things for me”.

Ayatsuji, back in their world, was forced to stay away from most people. Even after they gained self-awareness, he was forced to stay away.

His uncontrollable ability could still work on others. No one would want to find out, what would happen, if Ayatsuji saw some event in the manga, that makes his ability activate.

Ayatsuji can't blame them. No one wants to die.

When Oda Sakunosuke, Shibusawa Tatsuhiko and André Gide returned to life, after Guiding Light got their cards, the experiments began.

Soon, others dead characters returned to life.

And Ayatsuji was finally part of the group. Now the results of his ability could be “fixed”.

Still, Ayatsuji could hear them. Whispers about him. If he should be allowed in real world. Specifically, if his ability should be allowed near Guiding Light.

If someone started a vote on “Should Ayatsuji be left behind”, Ayatsuji himself would say “yes”. He wanted to go to the Real World, have a full life, met Guiding Light (or Porcelain Treasure, that's how he called them, after hearing from Tsujimura about 'personal nicknames for Guiding Light'), but, he also didn't want to harm Guiding Light. What if they were a criminal? He didn't want to pay for their kindness with murdering them!

The situation was resolved in an interesting way.

They believed, that cards affected only 'dead' characters. They were wrong.

Ango, when he was trying to raise Guiding Light's chances on getting Yosano's cards, discovered, that they could change their abilities for a bit.

Ayatsuji was among people, who wanted to have their abilities changed. He only asked for one thing. To have control over his ability.

And it was time to wait. He could test, if changed works only in Real World.

He was grateful, that the only crime [Y/N] have committed were a crime of adorableness. At least, if changes didn't work, [Y/N] won't be harmed.

They only need to find a criminal.

With some fake documents and snooping around the police station, Ayatsuji managed to find one. A burglar, who break in a house, steal everything and murdered owners.

And when Ayatsuji explained in great details, how he solved the case, he felt it.

His ability was waiting for his command to be activated.

Changes worked.

Self-awareness was a blessing for Yukito Ayatsuji. His ability wasn't a problem anymore.

Now, there is just one issue was left.

All this people, that lived in real world.

All of them knew, how crowded and loud cities are. It was a well known fact, one of many bits of information, that were there, the moment they became self-aware. Knowledge, they were born? with created to have?

Despite “Yokohama” being a dead city. No other people, except them, no other animals, except Karl, Mei and Misaki.

Only almost two years of silence. For two years, they only have each other and Their Guiding Light.

And then, the Real World greeted them with noises. With stable day and night cycle. With animals and people. Full of life.

And this life was scary and unfamiliar.

Ayatsuji felt, like he was a sheltered child, who was taught about the outside world, but never was allowed to take a step outside. And after years of sheltered life, he was kicked in the middle of “reality” and now must live in almost unfamiliar world.

Ayatsuji shook his head, chasing away the flood of memories and thoughts. No matter, how much he was nervous to go outside, he has to buy cat food.

He will simply grab his coat and wallet and go to the pet store, while smoking his pipe.

********

He was out of tobacco. Now, he has to go to one more store.

“Just two shops. Everything will be fine…” Mumbled Ayatsuji under his breath. He was sitting in the living room, trying to get a hold on himself. He was so deep in thought, he didn't notice, that he got a company.

“Ayatsuji… Are you okay? You look nervous.” the voice, that became so familiar and dear for the last two years, was coming from behind.

Ayatsuji turned around, looking at [Y/N]. They tilted their head, a concerned expression was clear on their face. Ayatsuji couldn't help, but smile slightly. He skipped his normal distant and cold attitude. Jouno's warning was fresh in his mind.

“Mind what you said around [Y/N]. Their heartbeat… They accept all our words for truth.”

“I am fine. I'm simply trying to get enough courage to step outside and do some shopping.”

[Y/N]'s concern was replaced with worry.

“Courage?” 

Ayatsuji shrugged his shoulders.

“Mhm. Real World is too loud to immediately accept it. But I need cat food and tobacco right now, and have no time to wait before I get used to the real world.”

For one second, [Y/N]'s expression changed. Ayatsuji couldn't put his finger, on what emotion it was. 

or, perhaps, he knew this emotion too well, but didn't want to admit, that [Y/N] felt the same emotion

Nevertheless, the emotion was gone, and [Y/N]'s expression became determined.

“Do you want some company?” they asked, taking a step forward. “I need to get a package from the post office, besides, I am currently free, so, I can go with you… If you want, of course.” Immediately add [Y/N]. 

Ayatsuji thought about the proposal. It would be good to have [Y/N] near. Someone, who was comfortable in Real World. Ayatsuji nodded with a smile.

“Thank you, I will be happy, if you join me.” 

For one second, [Y/N] looked shocked, but, quickly, smiled in return.

“Got it. Give me a minute, I will be ready in a minute.” [Y/N] turned on their heels and headed to their room, only to be stopped by Ayatsuji. Detective put his hand on [Y/N]'s shoulder.

“Wait, [Y/N], do you think, I should change my outfit? I don't want to grab people's attention.” Ayatsuji shivered involuntarily. Gogol's story about that trip to the mall was an unpleasant but important warning. When you go out onto the streets of this world in your ordinary outfit, you can expect a wave of fans with a desire to take pictures and touch you, people who consider you a pervert and accusations of satanism.

[Y/N] were silent. They looked at him from top to bottom, then walked around him, taking a good look at his clothes.

Half-rimmed, light-colored sunglasses, white shirt with a vermilion-based checkered border and a gray knit vest, dull orange checkered knickerbocker pants, and beige boots. Ayatsuji decided to add something.

“I will wear my hat and coat.”

 [Y/N] nodded, stepping once again before him, then took their phone and started to type something. After a moment, [Y/N] looked away from the screen.

 “Hey, Ayatsuji, can you please take your glasses off? Okay, thanks. Now, please, put them on again. Thanks again.”

 [Y/N] put their phone back.

 “You don't necessary need to change your outfit. I don't think, that you would get too much attention. But, if you are worried, I think, you could change your coat and vest. You can keep hat and glasses. If someone asks about eye color, tell them, you are wearing contacts.” 

 Ayatsuji raised an eyebrow.

 “But with Gogol…”

 [Y/N] raised their hands, shushing Ayatsuji.

 “Gogol's looks are… I mean, he is… You are… Umf…” [Y/N] hide their face in both hands, breathing heavily. After a minute, [Y/N] spoke again. They were speaking slowly, choosing words carefully.

 “Gogol are well-known among… other fans… You are… Details of Kyougoku's case aren't known by everyone… I guess.”

 [Y/N] looked up. They looked extremely guilty.

“What I mean… If we didn't run into hard fans, we would be okay. I think.”

'Why [Y/N] looked like they are on a verge of crying?' ignoring the thought, Ayatsuji hummed.

“Understand… Thanks for your advice, [Y/N]. Let's meet near the front door in ten minutes.”

[Y/N] nodded and hurry to their room.

////////////////////////

You washed your face with cold water. Familiar feeling of helplessness and disgust squeeze your insides.

You almost (if not already) messed up. First, you thought, that someone was rude to Ayatsuji and that's why he didn't want to go outside. Then, you had to mentioned BSD Media fact. Ayatsuji and others have enough on their plate, and don't need any reminders about their origins from you.

you didn't regret of offering help that's what friends do

They would be right, if they choose to leave you. If thinking rationality…

You splash more cold water on your face. You need to remember psychology books you like to read.

Your negative feelings were unhealthy, and you really need to control your habit of trying to rationalize your feelings and find “logical” reason to fell/ not to feel/express/not express them.

You will go with Ayatsuji to the mall, you will be happy, and you won't mess it just by being near.

“You are an interesting person, you are an interesting person, you can keep friends…” you repeated this sentence like mantra, while getting ready.

/////////////////

Shopping trip went, mostly, smoothly. As [Y/N] predicted, no one was bothered by Ayatsuji's appearance. People didn't pay any attention to him and [Y/N]. They were just another people in a crowd.

*******

You were glaring at the cans of cat food, Ayatsuji choose, like they were your worst enemies. Without warning, you turned your head towards Ayatsuji.

“Ayatsuji, if remember correctly, Pushkin will do the cooking tomorrow, right?”

Ayatsuji nodded.

"Yes. Something wrong with it?"

You point at the can.

"No. But, just you know, that tomorrow your cats will have duck with wild berries, while we'll munch on plain pasta with sausages."

And Ayatsuji saw it in [Y/N]'s eyes. They were waiting for something. And they were nervous. Ayatsuji chuckled.

"Agree, people, who produce cat food, really should mind, how to name their products."

Happiness, that shined in [Y/N]'s eyes were the biggest reward he could ever ask for.

***********

You didn't comment on tobacco he bought. Right after leaving the shop, Ayatsuji filled his pipe, light it and start smoking. 

Tobacco from Real World felt different. And Ayatsuji prefer it to whatever he smoked back in “Yokohama”.

Suddenly, [Y/N] let out a quiet laugh.

“You remind me of Sherlock Holmes."

Ayatsuji pulled deeply on his pipe, before asking.

"Of whom?"

In one second, your expression from happy became guilty.

"Genius detective, who smokes and wears a hat. Didn't I... watched something about him, while you were... I am sorry..."

That expression again. The expression of shame. Without hesitation, Ayatsuji put his hand on [Y/N]'s head, ruffling their hair.

"Don't sweat it, Porcelain Treasure. All of us, you included, have a long way before us. There's nothing wrong with keeping our origins in mind. Or we would have another "Gogol's shopping trip" incident.

He could feel, how [Y/N]'s cheeks were burning with embarrassment. They still weren't used to nicknames. 

"If I insisted on him wearing a disguise..."

Ayatsuji rolled his eyes and flicked [Y/N]'s nose.

Yup, they were burning with embarrassment.

"Okay, hush. Don't put the weight of our decisions on you. Otherwise, we will never learn."

[Y/N] opened their mouth to say something else, but change their mind and stay silent. 

'Okay, now, to change the subject' 

"So, can you tell me more about that Sherlock Holmes guy? He sounded interesting." Ayatsuji observed [Y/N]'s reaction. 

'Why do they look... defeated?'

"He is a book character... Created by Arthur Conan Doyle. I should have one of the books at home. I can give it to you..." it looks like [Y/N] were trying to say as less as they can. 

'Come on, I see, that you want to say more! I want to hear you! I want to talk to you!'

Ayatsuji squeezed [Y/N]'s shoulder. 

"Tell me more, please. I want to know more."

**********

Ayatsuji was waiting outside the post office, trying to hide his smile. Hearing [Y/N]'s passionate speech about Doyle, mystery novels and Sherlock Holmes were a real treat. [Y/N]'s eyes shined, when they were talking about things they liked. And when Ayatsuji paid attention and asked questions.

You still had a big smile on your face after you finished your businesses in the post office and returned to him, holding a big package in your arms.

************

Ayatsuji didn't expect that [Y/N] will come to his room later that day. They were holding a cardboard box into your arms.

"Hey, Ayatsuji, I have a present for you."

They hand him the box. 

It was a ball-jointed doll. The box looked old, but the doll looked good as knew.

"You like it?" [Y/N] sounded nervous. Ayatsuji nodded. 

"Yes. Thank you, [Y/N]." He smiled warmly at them. [Y/N] returned the gesture.

"You are welcome. Don't be bothered by an old box. This doll were with me for many years now."

Ayatsuji raised an eyebrow.

"Favorite toy?" Ball-jointed dolls wasn't that good for playing with them, but, maybe...

[Y/N] shook their head.

"No. Present from distant relative. My parents kept it hidden. They wanted to keep it for 'better times'. You have no idea how much I wanted to play with it. I often looked at the box, dreaming about playing with it. But, my father always said, that doll was a possible investment in my future." [Y/N] let out a quiet chuckle.

'They wanted to sell it in a future' mentally translated Ayatsuji. Meanwhile, [Y/N] continue talking.

"But, now, I am an adult, it belongs to me, I am the only one, who can decide, what to do with it."

Ayatsuji put box on the table.

"Are you sure? It seems, doll was important to you."

[Y/N] just waved their hand.

'They looked confident'. They are sure.'

"I am sure. Among two of us, you will be the one, who can truly appreciate the doll."

"Thank you again." Ayatsuji nodded slightly in appreciation.

[Y/N]'s smile was bright.

"You are welcome."

🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️

Ayatsuji was gently holding his new doll.

"No. They aren't planning to leave."

In a quiet basement, Ayatsuji's voice sounded louder, that it really was.

But it means that...

He should face it. Few things, that Ayatsuji willingly ignore.

[Y/N]'s nervousness and fear.

And almost empty chat list. With chats, where [Y/N] were ignored.

Bruises, Doc were talking about.

And that little fleeting expression on [Y/N]'s face. Expression, that was too familiar to Ayatsuji Yukito. Expression, he sometimes saw in the mirror, before he stopped constantly thinking about his ability. Expression, that he saw on Gide's and Verlaine's faces.

It was an expression of self-resentment. Of self-disgust.

"Why? Why can't you see, what a great person you are?" whispered Ayatsuji. "Who... Who did this to you, [Y/N]? What could we do to help you?"

There were no answers. For now.

Ayatsuji put the doll back, leaving the basement.

Flags must return soon. They wanted to investigate your workplace.

First steps were made.

As he said, they have a long way ahead of them. He and others should learn to live in the Real World. [Y/N] should get used to have them in their live.

And Ayatsuji and others should show [Y/N], that they won't be alone and won't be ignored anymore.

_______

¹As long as I knew, Ayatsuji's cats don't have official names. So, I decided to named them after Misaki Mei, Main Character of “Another” novel.

[lavender-bundle-blithe]

yknow what. Human Abilities AU where people's abilities are just... their own person. similar to a modern au but the abilities are also there but as actual people ^^ starting with sskk and skk! (am i making it into yin-yang w|w and double black m|m? maybe. i dont know myself. i think.)

byakko would be the strict but motherly protective tiger that i headcanon her to be. very protective of atsushi since he still goes through hell in an orphanage, and really, she has no filter but is nice enough to place one on for... five minutes. voice claim... ethereal but monotone. my girl's blunt. ex: tigress from kung fu panda rashomon would likely act similar to aku in a sense, but... more teasing. she likes to rile byakko up, but those happen on, like, a good day. which is one out of... two-three weeks. but similar to byakko, she's protective of the siblings very much, and can and will spoil those two with sweets since the whole slums situation. now her voice claim would likely have an elegant voice compared to byakko, yet both have the same bite. ex: yae miko from genshin impact but toned down. --- how these two interact... hm. probably how atsushi and aku were from day one in canon, they hated each other. but it could go two ways: where they catch fists or egged on by rashomon's teasing... "or is she threatening?" <- byakko. but after some time, from hating each others guts when on site and also not, it more or less evolves to them... liking each other's company. byakko helps rashomon regarding seeing things in other perspectives, however blunt they are. and rashomon helps byakko with the social cues. neither of them are the talkers, but when its just them two, no words would be spoken and yet they just understand what they need.

now for no longer human, whom i shall call "null". null is... silent. the silent eerie character that rarely talks but is just... there. not much cues in his blank and expressionless face, and his posture is solemn and tight. he acts much similar to 15!dazai but more melancholic. he took the brunt of whatever happened in his and dazai's childhood, he's a lot more mature than that. his voice claim would be a deep voice, could be heard as monotone or angry to strangers, but with those who's familiar with him, it's just... calming. ex: the horse from the boy, the mole, the fox, and the horse. for the tainted sorrow, or more or less arahabaki... he's basically a chuuya but more destructive, and he doesn't want to slow down. but when it comes to null, its either that he has to be in pace with the other or he can and will drag them. they don't care. but of course, others wonder why he cares so much for null if its said that he doesnt care at all. now some might say that no one could manage to understand him, others would say that he might speak riddles. a sort of ethereal tone, and it's oddly pitched. possible ex: sphinx from dragons dogma 2. --- this one's different, how they interact. basically: arahabaki would try and egg null on, get them riled up, but for the sake of proving the man wrong in his own point. it's unfortunately that both null and dazai have that sense of not being human. and while chuuya has his own way in showing dazai he has a life worth living, arahabaki's situation is a more difficult one. because null's more observant and quiet, the man likely has several scenarios going through his head on what's to happen, and has definitely figured out what arahabaki's planning on doing and avoided it with some certain word of phrase. so, arahabaki turns those words against null. two can play that game. but while arahabaki helps null with that, null helps with arahabaki's destructive and explosive tendencies, managing to defuse a situation in mere seconds and get them out of trouble. they're looking out for each other, and they have their backs.

[2econd2ight2aver]

I need to know if ANYONE would be interested in a fanfict about 15 or 16 Chuuya accidently becaming a teen parent with an original female charcater OR fem Dazai. 'I have concepts of a plan', it will have HEAVY and I mean HEAVY angst, some dark themes like anorexia, suicide. Self-harm, alcoholism and Dazau stuff (if I decide going with Fem Dazai) I'll start writing it on Ao3 if this post gets interaction of people wanting to read it.

And yes don't worry English is my second language and ive recently been at the hospital for 2 times catching severe staphylococcus and needing to have 5 teeth taken

Edit: I might actually write is since I've seen some people want it, although I'm not so sure. I think I need a few more people telling me they want it for it to be worth writing.

Some information on the Female OC:

Her name is Rosalina Hyde, in this AU she is 16. She is stunningly beautiful. Long Blonde hair that reaches her waist, with slight curves and waves which gave it volume. Her eyes weren't a specific colour, a mix between green and blue, which gave the effect of heterochromia. She is 162 cm, or 5'3 and a half in freedom unites, making her slightly taller than Chuuya (only because she stopped growing early). She's slim, curvy in some places, not overly sexualized. She has quite the truamatic past, but I'm not spoiling anything.

[dazai-anon-archive-taketwo]

Your answer is complete bullshit. What the dazai anon did is nowhere as serious as what you are doing. You want her personal life basically sabotaged, and all she did was send you a couple of cruel messages that made you have a bad day, guess what? That’s everyday for the dazai anon. She’s just fucking tired of the treatment her favorite character faces form this shitty fandom, even his own “stans” join in the hate against him but there seems to be some hypocrisy against chuuya or even the fucking pedophile mori.

All she did was send mean things out of frustration and anger, she deserves to feel that way. I don’t agree with death threats, but nothing about her behavior is “harassment” or “grooming minors” you’re all dumb fucking idiotic children and it shows seeing how you label petty internet fights as “crimes”, at the end of the day, did you lose your degree? did you lose your job? are you in constant fear and suicidal ideations because you’re scared you’re going to jail over THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER CHUUYA NAKAHARA of all things???? No! You are completely fine and living your life with no fears or anxieties as she is. Your blog is also completely useless btw! No one is gonna make a case on this, your parents didn’t which is why they asked u to delete the previous blog. Follow their advice again and leave the Dazai anon the FUCK alone and have the balls to actually face her without holding legal threats over her head. You pieces of shits.

What she does is tell people to kill themselves and say that she hopes they die, that their pets die, that they fail their finals, that their mental health/life gets worse. All over fictional characters, and we are just documenting it. At most she might get a fine, or have her Tumblr/Twitter privileges removed. I'm not sure how that second one would play out but I know people have been banned from sites.

As for the. having a bad day bit. I've mentioned this to her before but I have several disorders that make everyday hard for me too, most notably that I've been either passively or actively suicidal for the last 6 years. How do you think her damn near constant hate and harassment of me and my friends affects my mental state? I say it doesn't get to me because it doesn't incapacitate me and I don't want my friends to worry. The shit builds up. I have blocked her, I have reported her, I have ignored her, I have asked her to leave me alone. None of that has worked.

I understand the frustration she goes through, that's the whole reason I don't interact with the pjo fandom anymore. I was taking everything personally, I couldn't play nice with others and I realized that I was problem so I stopped interacting with it. That is my oldest special interest that has kept me alive multiple times. I do not post about it. Because it is unreasonable for me to ask everyone else in the fandom to only see it my way.

She has become the problem here and needs to deal with that. It is not fair to everyone else here for her to decide that her way is the only right way and everyone who disagrees is against her specifically. She absolutely has every right to feel angry or frustrated but she does not have the right to take that out on everyone else, if she doesn't want to block people and respect people blocking her she needs to leave until she can play nice.

As for the legal action, she can stop harassing people right now and case will likely go nowhere. And I have tried to talk to her about the things she does without "threatening legal action" and she called me a cunt and stupid and jobless and a dickrider and a doormat. She isn't willing to talk things out and treat others with respect, so we have this blog. And we have gotten a few asks regarding legal action, we haven't answered them publicly because Kavya tends to harass anyone mentioned here.

-2

[zoi3e]

"call me later?"

- how you meet.

Requested by: no one

Warnings: mentions of suicide(Dazai), implied Mori's weird ass shit (Dazai), light mentioning of drugs (Dazai), mentions of kidnapping (Tetchou)

Charecters: Atsushi, Osamu, Chuuya, Ryuunoske, Ranpo, Kunikida, Poe, Fukuzawa, Sigma, Nikolai, Fyodor, Tetchou, Jouno,

Nakajima Atsushi

• you both met when Kyouka ran off one time while they were buying crepes.

• Kyouka kinda scared you as she stared at you bluntly while you just nervously smiled back before Atsushi found her and apologized profusely for her in-politeness.

"I'm so sorry! She uh... isn't very good with manners.."

"Oh, it's alright...'"

"YES! Uhm, I'm Atsushi Nakajima and this is Kyouka."

• He insisted on buying you some crepes in apology. You said no, but he really insisted.

• I geuss Kyouka was a wing woman.

Dazai Osamu

• Unfortunately, you two met through Mori.

• Mori at the time had found you before he got Dazai after his suicide attempt. He took you in at a time of weakness and you just wanted someone to give you attention. You'd later regret it.

• You worked alongside Mori when Dazai was given to him after his suicide attempt.

• You basically watched over him while Mori was in meetings, making sure he ate, and took his pills.? You were dead silent most of the time until after a few weeks and you warmed up to him.

"Uhm..."

"..."

"What was your name again?"

"... (name)..."

"Cool name! I'm sure you already know mine. Thanks for taking care of me I geuss. Mori Sensei's pretty weird...."

"...Agreed."

• From then you two beame friends and you usually patched him up after missions and Mori's weird shit.

Nakahara Chuuya

• You also trained under Kouyou when he came to the Port Mafia so you two met from her.

• He believed you to be a polite and calm person compared to other people he's met. COUGH COUGH DAZAI COUGH! Pardon me!

• You were actually squealing in your mind of how pretty you thought he was compared to your calm demeanor of what he saw. (ITS TRUE)

• You two and Kouyou would have tea often.

• Somehow you and Dazai were really close which blew his mind from the polar opposite personalities between you two.

• You 3 would often get put on missions together.

Akutugawa Ryuunoske

• You two met through Chuuya.

• Chuuya thought Akutugawa needed someone to be around and one of his subordinates (you) was perfect!

• And plus, you were good friends with Gin!

• Akutugawa was sort of angry at first but after a bit, he calmed down and you two just got fig tea together at a local tea house in Yokohoma.

• He sort of ghosted you after but you both worked on missions together from time to time.

• He'd get closer to you through Gin and your's friendship. Other than that, originally, he wanted nothing to do with you.

Edogawa Ranpo

• You were from the guild. (RAHHHHHH 🦅🇺🇸🍻🇺🇸🦅 MY PRONOUS ARE USA 🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🍻 WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER?!?!?!??🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅)

• Poe would talk about you like a all mighty being and he'd talk about Ranpo the same way to you. So you both were really interested in eachother.

• One day, Ranpo came into Poe's house unexpectedly while you were there.

• You both looked at eachother up and down, tilting your head to the side at one another before introducing yourself to one another. It was sort of like the interaction between Nezuko and Muchiro before Hantegu showed up.

"So.... You are (Name), right?"

"Yes, I am. And you must be Ranpo Edogawa, correct?"

"Of course I am! I'm the best detective in the world, you must know me!"

"Poe said you enjoy sweets. I brought some chocolate-chip muffins over if you'd like some."

"That would be great!"

• Poe and Karl kinda just watched in silence before Karl followed you and Ranpo into the kitchen to try and get some crumbs that Ranpo would drop while eating.

Doppo Kunikida

• You two met in high-school, actually.

• He was a literal delinquent at the time and you were the student council president and you had to tutor him in math, algebra. (Lmao it's what he taught before the ADA if you didn't know.)

• You hated him a bit in the beginning.

• You both bonded over your abilities you two had that no one else.

• You two got out of high-school and didn't stay in touch.

• You ended up at the ADA and than boom! He was there after a few years too!

• Which rekindled a few things both of you thought you buried deeper than Oda.

(I have a headcannon that Kunikdia used to be a delinquent in highschool but got some big reality check that made him how he is now.)

Edgar Allen Poe

• KARL THE WINGMAN ! !

• Karl saw you in the book store while with Poe and for some reason really liked your scent. So while Poe was distracted, he ran after you which lead to paniked Poe and a racoon running after you because you had a danish in your pocket.

• Karl ran after you into 2 different stores until you sat down at a cafe and he jumped into your lap, breathing in your scent like it was cr@ck.

• Anyways, Poe put a tracker on Karl because of how much he runs off (lmao) so he found him at the cafe you were at.

• You were frozen because a racoon was just chilling in your lap.

"Karl! Kar- Oh, there you are Karl!"

"What?"

"I-I'm so sorry Mx, t-this is Karl and he must have chased after you, ple-please forgive me for h-his behavior..."

• He was litterially a blushing mess talking to you because he thought you were really pretty/handsome.

Fukuzawa Yukichi

• Yall met durring his training when you were younger.

• You, him, and that fossil man (Fukichi) became a friend group and you'd sneak out of your fancy private school that was across the street from their training building to go out on the Town.

• Later on, the school found out, and they told your parents so you were sent back to Tokyo away from them.

• So no more Yukichi.

• Until one day, you were working at your little bakery and then a man and a younger looking boy came in.

• The younger one ordered like half of your store but the older man caught your eye. It was like you've seen him before.

• And then you overheard the younger boy talking to the older man and said the name "Fukuzawa!"

• I looked over in curiosity and while the two paid I asked:

"I-is that really you Yuki?" (Nickname lmao)

"(N/N)? Is that you?"

"Ew get a room you two...."

• Anyways you two exchanged numbers and decided to talk more later

• It made him really happy lol

Sigma bbg

• You are Nikolai's bestie ofc.

• However, he liked you because you'd annoy everyone except him. Wonderful!

• Anyways you two met when Nikolai and him first met so (just a hc) they met at a meeting for the Decay of Angels

• You were honestly playful with him while he was a literal school basketball; sweaty.

• You realized that you should be a little more calm while Nikolai didn't give one shit. That motherfucker was all up in his face and crap like a Spirt Halloween animatronic..

• Anyways you two became friends because you liked card games!

Nikolai Gogol

• So you work at the Sky Casino and for some silly little reason Sigma left for "business" and left the manager position to you! (You don't know about the DOA yet lol)

• One of the workers while you were on break came and said that someone was cutting through the roof from the top of the building

• So you were like "mkay fuck you I'm on break give me a second." And by the time you got there he was already goofing around and there was a square cut out to the outside on the roof where he cam in.

"Uhm, sir, you could have used the door."

"Oh, but it's more fun."

"Sigh, fine. Just don't do it again, and your gonna have to pay for the roof fixing by the way."

"Just put it on Fedya's bill!"

"Who?-"

• You then learned when Sigma came back that he was banned the first time he came here a few years ago and does this about every week. The roof gets broken every time.

• So now he breaks in and tries to get to you while Sigma cries in a corner bc he got pranked by Nikoali.

Fyodor Dostevesky rat man

• jsjsjsjs okay so to sum it up you and rat man met bc you and Nikolai were siblings and Nikolai wanted to go back to Ukraine for you

• Nikolai one day sort of just disappeared from backstage at the curcis you both worked at together. You were like wtf where'd did his goofy ass go??

•You two were like Lyney and Lynette from Genshin Impact btw lol

• While you were backstage alone you were pulled into a more secluded area of the circus where you saw a man and your brother together

"Koyla?! W-where have you been?"

"Ehe, sister, meet Fyodor. He's going to help us be free!"

"What? But...."

"No! No! We're going with him."

"O-okay...?"

• Anyways Fyodor was interested by you and that's why he let Nikolai come back for you instead of just letting you die or something.

• From then, Fyodor burnt the circus down and brought you two back somewhere. Imma geuss Russia.

Tetchou Suehiro

• You were a hostage.

• Yes. Superman babygworl.

• Basically your like rich person's child (NOT FITZGERALD) And some rival people took you and your parents called Fukichi (the fossil) for help.

• He's sent Tetchou and Juono to go and bring you back safely

• By the time he and Juono came to the building you were being held hostage at you were stumbling out before fainting with a giggle.

"I geuss aunties lessons helped...." *BANG*

"Did you see that Juono?"

"I'm blind you dumbass."

• Anyways Tetchou carried you while Juono complained of how loud your heartbeat was.

• You woke up, looking around confusingly.

"U-uhm..."

• You three stopped at a coffee shop and you saw his strange soy-sauce-coffee.... yeah.... 💀

Juono Saigiku

• Juono felt like a full on third-wheeler, making snarky comments here and there about you and him.

• Fukichi invited you over for one of their fancy military annual parties and introduced you to Juono

• Though he couldn't see your face, he liked how calm your presence was and thought that your breathing and heartbeat wasn't as annoying as others.

• Until someone infiltrated the party.

• You were bait by the fossil. That's the whole reason.

• Anyways the group threatened everyone until sort of holding you with a knife to your neck.

• Still, Juono sensed how you were still calm which for some reason made him... worry...?

• Anyways you beat the shit out of the guy which was cool ig

• He liked your methods so he stayed in touch just in case you wanted to help him in torture time for criminals. :)

[hannigramislife]

I am not a dazai hater by any means, but you talk so respectfully (and make a lot of sense) about your opinions on him I can't help but really enjoy your blog! I particularly loved your ship opinions posts. Any other characters you want to share ship opinions on?

Hi friend!!

I'm glad I came off as respectful and left a positive impression on you! I do a lot of shit-posting about Dazai, but I do feel like I am at least fair to him when I am analyzing his actions? Other times, yeah, I'm just indulging in my desire to beat him bloody. Just, like, once. To get it out of my system XD. For science.

And the ship posts! Those were soooo fun to make. And oh, let me think about any other ships and my thoughts on them...

Fyolai (Fyodor / Nikolai) – Remember how I was like "there's just some things you don't write if you don't want people to ship two characters?" This is another case. This is the reason I disagree with people that go like "bsd is the only manga where no ships are necessary," like bro, there's so many things wrong with that sentence. It is absolutely necessary to make a bond such as these two's feel almost tangible to the viewers. It is essential to understand Nikolai's emotional dependance on Fyodor as a driving factor to his actions. Nikolai is orbiting around him, and you can see Fyodor having a genuine interest in this man, who doesn't play a big role in his grand plans. To me, these two feel kinda like Soukoku? Something something "the stars aligned so we could meet." 10/10 ship.

Ranpoe (Ranpo / Poe) – What God do I need to pray to in oder to get about 50 OVAs with these two?? Season 4 Ranpoe was the biggest treat and gift to me, personally. I love love love their dynamic so much. Like, yeah, Poe idolizes Ranpo, but he is now just as much in Ranpo's radar as well! Ranpo imprinted on him, he is Ranpo's emotional support rich boyfriend for fuck's sake. The way Ranpo uses his ability seamlessly?? Like it belongs to him?? Like he's so goddamn comfortable with it?? And what about the, "What would I do with myself if Ranpo-kun were to die..?” They're literally soulmates. They met and clicked so hard, they found each other, they suit each other, they complete each other. 10 million/10.

AtsuLucy (Atsushi / Lucy) – Firstly, I love Lucy, I think she's a great character, I love her design and personality and ability and everything. My baby. However, I have no particular attachment to this ship. It's not bad, and it's perfectly valid, but I don't see like- a need for it, you know? They understand each other, have stuff in common, and impacted each other's lives; I do love when two characters save each other left and right, so kudos for that. Honestly, they seem like they'd be absolutely amazing friends, really close, and honestly, I would love to see Atsushi have such a friendship, I think it would be good for him, but personally I don't see them in a romantic light. 9/10 ship due to the lack of feels I got from their interactions.

HiguGin (Higuchi / Gin) – I think that they're amazing and I would die for them. I need a spin-off of them. I need at least a whole WAN episode of them going on a date and shopping and eating ice cream and training and going to the beach– basically everything because they'd have the best relationship ever. I can just see them cuddling on a couch and watching TV as sskk fight over the last dumping in the kitchen. I need more about them like I need air. Also, petition for Beast Higuchi and Beast Gin to take over the Mafia. For reasons. 10/10 ship.

FukuMori (Fukuzawa / Mori) – Yeah, yeah, they're divorced Double Black and whatever, but let's be real for a second; no one can convince me that when Fukuchi first showed up, y'all's reaction was not, "Hold on a second Fukuzawa, what about your husband?!" The way Fukuchi behaved with Ranpo screamed new boyfriend trying to gain the son's approval, I was dying XD. "But Fukuchi knew Fukuzawa first!!" Yeah, yeah, I don't care– I'm not a zskk shipper until Fukuchi enters the screen. Let Fukuzawa and Mori be the yin and yang pillars of Yokohama. 9/10 ship because Mori is *sigh* a bad guy. Sad.

Odango (Oda / Ango) – They are married. No, I will not accept criticism. This is canon to me.

KuniBram (Kunikida / Bram) – My sister has decided they're also married and coparenting, so the conclusion is that they're married and coparenting.

I can't think of any ships right now, but do mention if there's one you like that I have missed!

(Honorary Mention: Dead Apple Trio) – So, we agree they fucked, right?? That wasn't subtext in the slightest, that was the greatest amount of subtle and yet ostentatious display of repressed homosexuality I've seen since SuperWhoLock hit this website. Dazai did not look that good to simply not be pushed against a table/wall. That's a disservice to him.