#I mean thank god it’s negative I have a presentation on Tuesday

[shivrgf]

I keep waking up with sore throats and fevers and my covid tests keep saying negative what’s going on

[hong-kong-art-man]

Stories & Memories: True Meaning Of A Happy Birthday?

What does your birthday mean? Party, cake, balloons, gifts or a smitten kiss? Or, is it just another day? Some think a birthday is only a means to calculate the age. Is it a reminder that aging is a kind of 'lost youth’ and you must value your remaining time?

The Bible told us that God created mankind and so we owe him our utmost gratitude. Rejoice for another year of birth and have a prayer of thanks.

I do not want to make a big deal out of my birthday. It is a test for my emotional condition at a sensitive moment in the year. My satisfaction and aspiration often go, in a different direction from the expectations of others, when I get one year older. Besides, I do not enjoy being the centre of attention on my birthday. I do not like receiving gifts or cards. Another year of peace requires a quiet journey beginning with my birthday.

I am one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. As a lawyer, I was always raided by sudden legal jobs such as going to court for an injunction order, applying for bail when client was remanded in custody by the law enforcement agency or attending an urgent family meeting on the verge of death of their beloved one. There were several occasions on which I had to cancel my birthday party in order to fulfil my professional duties.

In 1912, the elegant Manila Hotel first opened its doors to the public. It was the first 5-star hotel in the Philippines visited by the illustrious of guests such as Ernest Hemingway. When I was young, friends took me to fly to stay there on a Saturday to celebrate my birthday. We had a wonderful quick dinner and returned to Hong Kong on Sunday morning. Perhaps as Mick Jagger said, “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing!”

Now, too many of us tend to worship self-indulgence. We are often stripped bare by the curse of plenty. There was a time in life when I thought I needed materialistic things that I could imagine. At my present age, I simply desire peace and simplicity. Often, I see simplicity as a means to an end—where the end is a happier life. I feel bad when friends spend money on me on my birthday. We make a great life by what we give, not what we get; and it will surely be a better idea to make donations to those in need than squandering our money on birthday gifts and parties on each other. Many birthday gifts are expensive but the most expensive things in the world are likely the most useless. Some friends like to compare birthday gifts at the party and such comparison can lead to negative emotions such as envy, guilt and shame, causing great harm to friendship.

The global market for birthday greeting cards has been declining and is projected to decline faster in the coming years. Mailing paper cards is a dying tradition. We are no longer eager to write some warm and enthusiastic words on cards. Nowadays, we all think texting mobile messages works best. We do not have time for a chat over the phone. Texting birthday messages is quick and unintrusive—ironically, only for the senders. For the recipient, he can also easily delete a birthday message and there is no more need for him to store a lot of birthday cards in plastic boxes. This is the way of what this cold world should be.  Peace is the elimination of the unnecessary. I need no birthday cards, gift or parties. Birthday is the day to take a break, be alone and write rambling life resolutions. It is a day, with gravity, to look back at the years that you have survived. Learn how far you have come. Fate is not your future. Sad life will come on your own.

Maurice Lee

Chinese Version 中文版: https://www.patreon.com/posts/wo-de-sheng-ri-87053807?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Tuesdays with Morrie Official Trailer Acknowledgement - tuesdayswithmorry

Chinese Birthday Song Acknowledgement-Twinklebots Cantonese

Birthday Song Acknowledgement-Free Happy Studio

[deniigi]

Last Mike piece kind of combining a handful of different requests.

It’s a long one and is under the cut.

(Note, contains some stereotyping--I love Mike but I don’t imagine him as a super sensitive or culturally aware type of guy.)

Thanks to everyone who sent in asks!! And who has read and commented on stories up until this point.

You’re all darlings and stars and I appreciate you immensely. Truly immensely. It is a pleasure to read your comments and reactions and to have met so many lovely humans through the work.

---

keeping brothers

Mike comes to SF to demand retribution for not being invited to Matt and Foggy’s wedding. He crashes into Sam and finds in him a challenge that is perhaps even too great for even Mike Murdock to overcome.

---

Foggy was not presently receptive to advances.

This was unfortunate. Especially since revenge was needing to be taken here over dear, dear Matthew going forth with a wedding without even inviting his only, humble brother to sit in the pews.

Mike had picked out a suit and everything.

It was yellow.

Everyone loved yellow.

He’d gotten a hat to go with it.

Everyone loved hats.

Matt, however, seemed to have other ideas and went on and on about how he was planning on an August wedding and he’d tell Mike in the next month or so what the decided date was and what the color scheme was, and so on and so on. And yet, somehow, by the time May was rolling to a close, with months left until the auspicious August date, Mike got a furious call from the Sister who, for once, had found it in herself to contact him first and who was also offended on Matt’s and Dad’s behalf that Mike had failed to show up to his own twin’s wedding.

She didn’t yell. No of course she didn’t. But she told Mike that God was watching him and that he should consider how he was going to make it up to his brother.

His brother.

Hmph.

More like his little shit wombmate.

Oh, Mike would make it up to him alright.

--

Dearest, darling Matthew lived in San Francisco these days and while Foggy was not receptive to Mike’s usual charm and wit, he did say that Mike was welcome to stay at the happily married couple’s house for the night.

Foggy felt guilty when Mike explained the phone call from Mom and the whole unworn suit situation. He said that it was wrong of Matt to have lied to him and that an apology would be forthcoming, but in the meantime, if Mike could keep an eye on the dogs and the apprentice while he went out to find his beloved husband, that would be great.

Mike, of course, promised he would.

He chose not to mention that dogs were the foul scum of the earth on his personal hierarchy of creatures and things.

He also chose not to mention that children were right below dogs on said hierarchy. After all, not everyone in the world needed to know his business.

--

Matt’s dogs were…disgusting.

Mike didn’t get it.

The number of times Mike had moved Matt to the other side of the pavement to keep him away from dogs (out of brotherly love and fear of the neighborhood kids knowing that his little bro was a crybaby) had long passed countable means.

And yet.

These things.

Hazel was alright. Mike got why Matt was obsessed with her. She was ginger. They were ginger. There was an unbreakable bond there.  

But Tuesday?

Just why?

She was old. She was pale. She looked sad all the fucking time.

Mike tried to throw a tennis ball for her, but after he’d pried the wet, nasty thing out of her mouth, she just watched it bounce and roll onto the living room carpet before looking back up at him like he’d just shot Bugs Bunny dead on the carpet and tried to feed him to her.

“You ever considered therapy?” he asked her. “Maybe anti-depressants?”

She said nothing.

She just looked sad.

“How about a walk?” he asked.

Hazel flung herself out of the kitchen and crashed into the bottom of the island on her way.

Mike could appreciate that level of enthusiasm. Tuesday watched her and the slowly looked back up at him. Her tail swung exactly once.

“That’s it?” Mike asked her.

The tail drooped.

Fuckin’ A.

Look who’s Sandra D., huh?

The door rattled open and both dogs suddenly leap into action. Mike threw hands over his ears at the sudden explosion of barking.

“HEY,” he snapped at them.

They carried on yowling and bustling, racing each other down the stairs. Mike stood up and begrudgingly accepted that he was gonna have to chase these slobbering idiots out into the street, but froze.

A person was down there at the bottom of the stairs with bags slipping off their shoulders. They were laughing and petting the dogs. Cooing to them.

Mike decided that he wasn’t in the mood for housecleaner chatting. He was here for the express purpose of shaming Matthew in his own home.

He took a step back, but not soon enough. The black hair down there snapped up and made eye contact.

“Oh, hey Boss,” the cleaner said. “You’re home early.”

How to respond? How to respond?

This appeared to be an opportunity.

“Wasn’t busy,” he said in his best, stiff, huffy Matthew impression.

The kid cocked his head to the side a little.

“Really?” he asked. “Huh. Wild. Did you already take the girls out?”

Housecleaner and dogwalker? Come on, Matt. You ain’t that busy.

“Negative,” Mike said.

“Oh. Okay, I’ll take them then,” the kid said. “Jia and Chunhua want to meet them, is that cool?”

Um.

But

Like

Why.

“No can do,” Mike said.  “They’ve been poorly behaved.”

The kid stopped with his hand on the downstairs closet door. He turned his head slowly back up the stairs, this time frowning.

Mike decided that he was going to make a drink.

You know. A “drink.” For protection. Against suspicion.

“You feeling okay, Bossman?” the kid called up the stairs.

“Just fine, thanks,” Mike called back from the kitchen. He found a safe place behind the counter and hunkered with the muzzle of his piece over its edge.

Surely, this guy knew Matt’s ‘leave me alone’ tone. Mike had it imprinted across his heart and his impression of it, he knew, was flawless.

The sound of rustling eased downstairs for a moment, and the creak of a door opening followed it. The dogs did not come back up the stairs. Mike started to stand up.

Perhaps the suspicion had passed?

The sound of a door opening downstairs destroyed that dream and the sound of the kid hiking upstairs with intention followed the shattered its remaining fragments.

And like.

Damn.

There were two ways to go about this.

Way 1) Shoot the kid, hide the body, hire new household help for the brother.

Way 2) Engage full and complete Matthew impersonation.

Tricky, tricky, tricky.

One of those involved paperwork and speed interviewing. Mike stowed his piece and made a show of picking through the cabinets for a glass. He was careful to feel around at the bottom of the glasswares’ stems.

He heard the footsteps stop behind him and could practically feel the kid’s eyes burning holes into his back.

“You need a Tylenol or somethin’, Teach?” the kid rumbled.

The hair on the back of Mike’s neck stood up.

He’d fucked up.

He didn’t know how he’d fucked up, but he’d fucked up.

Damn.

Poor little shit. Dyin’ on a kitchen floor was just one step above dying on the toilet.

“I’m good, thanks,” he said to the cabinet contents.

“Are you?” the kid asked.

Pushy.

Stop asking questions, boy, and start prayin’.

“I am,” Mike said, closing the cabinet firmly. “Is there a reason—”

He turned around.

Blue, glowing eyes stared right through him.

“What’s the matter, Teach?” the kid asked sweetly. “Never seen me before?”

Oh.

Shit.

--

 Mike never claimed to be Matty.

Ever.

He wasn’t there for the whole cult-training thing. He only became aware of it after the fact. Of course he’d noticed the change in behavior and the personality shift and yadda yadda yadda. But he couldn’t have done anything about it. He’d just been a kid himself, not to mention that he’d been busy being shipped out to a thousand different foster families and group homes while Matty had been shuffled through a series of special needs placements. They were broken apart and thrown back together all the fucking time while every social worker and home and institute claimed to be trying to ‘keep the twins together.’

As a result, one day Mike woke up and learned from the paper that his twin was secretly a devil in disguise.

It had been kind of neat, actually. Matty’s devil fought crime and Mike’s devil did crime.

What a pair!

The contrast! The tension!

Delicious, all of it.

And while that was very good aesthetic-wise, it unfortunately meant that Mike was woefully unprepared to fight a dog-walking, house-cleaning marital artist on kitchen tile.

The kid was strong. And fast. And fuck, could he land a punch. Or eight.

He’d snatched Mike’s gun and chucked it in the sink within seconds of this conflict beginning, and while Mike had a height and weight advantage on him, someone had taught him how to go for the kidneys and the knees.

Christ.

Mike was going to have to knock him out.

He didn’t want to.

Matt’s kitchen was already a disaster. Adding blood to that had not been part of the shaming plan.

Welp.

Beggars can’t be choosers.

He managed to get the kid locked into an elbow and pulled up with the intention of giving him a head start in the napping arena, when the front door slammed open. The kid simultaneously sunk his teeth down into Mike’s forearm.

Mike shouted before he knew he was and suddenly there were dogs everywhere and people talking over each other and one second, Mike was reestablishing his grip on that mangey little mutt, and the next the kid was gone and he was staring into Matt’s furious grimace.

A glass rolled around on the counter by the sink.

“Oh,” Mike said. “Well, fancy meeting you here.”

“Sensei,” the kid cried, trying to push past Matt’s side to get in front of him.

“That’s enough,” Matt said to Mike’s face, but really to the room at large. The kid stopped.

Sensei, he’d said.

Oho.

Ohohoho.

Mike might have misjudged things here.

“Go clean yourself up,” Matt ordered him, pulling back out of his braced form and catching the kid when he tried to get in front of him again.

“Righty-o,” Mike told him pleasantly. “Just one question—”

A muscle in Matt’s jaw jumped. Mike decided that that was permission.

“Does your little whelp there got all his shots?” Mike asked him.

 --

Sam.

This kid’s name was Sam. And he was not household help. He was apprentice and employee and he was fucking sharp.

Matt kept grabbing him and forcibly manhandling him back onto the couch to keep him from lunging at Mike with intent to kill.

Mike didn’t know what to make of any of this.

When Foggy had said ‘apprentice,’ Mike had assumed that some 14 year old would be arriving for lessons in MMA in the garage or something.

He had not expected this guy.

“Fuck you,” Sam snapped at Mike when Matt told him in hushed tones to settle down or go downstairs until he could.

Wow.

Mike was almost…impressed?

“Samuel,” Matt said in a voice that gave Mike shivers because it sounded exactly like Dad.

Holy shit.

Sam and his glowing blue eyes jerked and then stared up at Matt in hurt betrayal. Matt sensed it somehow and softened.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Thank you for protecting the house. There’s just a misunderstanding here.”

Boy, was that an understatement.

“He’s impersonating you,” Sam told his teacher. “He was cursing Tuesday.”

Eh?

Oh.

That.

“He’s not impersonating me,” Matt said calmly while Foggy made aggravated sounds at the state of his kitchen. “He’s my twin.”

Samuel went slack and stared up into Matt’s sunglasses. He swiveled his head back to Mike. Mike tapped his own glasses down and winked.

Sam bared teeth at him.

Hm.

Unfriendly.

Yes. Like the dog.

Why did Matty collect such things?

“Sam,” Matt said, apparently aware that this type of Sam-silence was not a benevolent one.

Cowed by the warning, Sam’s new tactic for dealing with Mike abruptly became hiding from him. He wriggled out of Matt’s hold and tucked himself up against his back instead, peeking out to squint severely at Mike as though daring him to come any closer.

Matt sighed.

“What do you want, Michael?” he asked, holding his head in his hands while the sound of glass being swept rang out from the kitchen.

Mike hummed and leaned his chin on his palm.

“I think we both know what I want,” he said.

Matt took off his glasses and squeezed the bridge of his nose.

 --

“Hostile,” Mike noted disapprovingly at the now-empty doorframe.

“He’s not always this way,” Foggy assured him.

Mike scoffed.

“Little shit bites,” he said.

“Where do you think he learned that from?” Foggy asked.

Ah.

Matty.

Mike saw now.

“Matt’s not even trying to include me in his life anymore,” Mike sighed. Foggy matched his posture on the other side of the now-clean kitchen counter.

“Sam is a soft spot,” he said.

“Psh. He shouldn’t be. If Matty wanted a nephew, all he had to do was say so. I’m sure I’ve gotten some broad or ten knocked up over the last twenty years,” Mike pointed out.

Foggy’s silence was judgmental. He was lookin’ kind of thin.

“Bad timing?” Mike asked him.

“More like tasteless,” Foggy told him.

“Maybe tasteless, but not untrue,” Mike volleyed back with a winning smile.

Foggy pursed his lips at him.

“Matt and Sam are already bonded, Michael,” he said. “It’s going to be far easier for you to accept Sammy than it is to get Matt to accept one of your eight thousand love children.”

Mike huffed.

Always a double-standard in this family.

 --

So Sam was definitely trying to kill him. Or at least run him out of this place.

There was broken glass in the guest bathroom. There was a rug suddenly on the stairs in the middle of the night. There were wet, disgusting tennis balls waiting to be stepped on in the house’s hallways.

Sam allegedly slept downstairs, but Mike didn’t think he was sleeping.

“You’re accusing my apprentice of sabotage, now?” Matt deadpanned to him over breakfast.

“He’s jealous. He doesn’t like the idea of there being two of you,” Mike told him reliably.

Matt reached out and felt around for Mike’s forehead. He held his hand there like the fucking dick he was.

“Hm,” he said.

“I ain’t lyin’,” Mike told him.

“Hm,” Matt said again, taking his hand back to stuff a piece of toast in his mouth.

Mike heard a door open downstairs and then a burst of babytalk towards one of the dogs.

It cut off abruptly.

Mike looked over his shoulder towards the staircase and sure enough, the most favored blue-eyed boy of the household was down there, glaring up at him. He waved. Sam gave him the finger and hauled the dogs off with him to go make his own breakfast in the downstairs kitchen.

“He’s adorable, Matty,” Mike said without intonation.

“I am aware,” Matt said. “I like to keep him around. Really draws in the ladies.”

Hm.

 --

Sam hid. Mike became aware of this on the third day of staying over that he managed to wrangle out of Matt and Foggy in return for their inhospitality over the weekend and the whole wedding situation.

The boy was always in his room or going or coming from the house. He did not touch the stairs.

“It’s me, isn’t it?” he asked Matt.

Matt didn’t even turn his way while he brushed Hazel’s fur.

“I mean, he doesn’t love to come up here in general,” he said, “But yeah, no. He especially doesn’t love you.”

Hm.

“I’m gonna bond with him,” Mike decided.

“Please don’t,” Matt said immediately.

“I’m gonna,” Mike said.

 --

Sam blinked slowly at him once and then twice.

Then he picked up his plate and mug and made to leave for his room.

“Hold on now, partner,” Mike said, blocking the doorway with an arm. Sam’s eyes flicked up to the arm, then back to his face. Then up to the arm again.

“I think we both want the same thing here,” Mike continued. “You clearly love my brother. I appreciate that. I love my brother too. And if you’re gonna be stickin’ around, me and you should get onto more even footing, no?”

Sam turned his head to the side and ducked right under Mike’s arm into the hall. His bedroom door closed with a thunk.

It locked.

Mike blinked at the window he had been standing in front of.

Little shit.

This kid was a little shit.

 --

“Mike, he’s just not about you,” Matt sighed. “It took him months to warm up to me. He’s not that kind of person.”

Bullshit.

He was what? 18?

18 year olds could be bought.

Matt’s lip twitched.

“He’s 24,” he said.

Oh.

Well.

Same difference. 24 year olds could be bought too.

Matt smirked.

“Alright, do your worst then,” he said.

 --

He invited Samuel out for Vietnamese coffee. There was a place close by. It seemed to be quiet enough.

Sam stared at him and informed him that he was Chinese, thanks, not Vietnamese and all Asians weren’t the same, by the way.

Mike didn’t know what to say.

“Do you not like coffee?” he asked.

“I don’t like stereotypes,” Sam told him. “And I don’t like you.”

He shut his door.

 --

“If we do East Asian food, then we let Sammy pick where we get it,” Matt told Mike dutifully.

That was like, fine. But also wasn’t that equally presumptuous?

“He’s got much stronger opinions on it than we do,” Matt shrugged. “And certain places don’t have things that he likes that we don’t know very well.”

…right.

“So I should let him pick,” Mike translated.

“I think you should leave him alone,” Matt told him.

Well, they both knew that wasn’t happening, but it was a sweet thought, little brother.

“You have a compulsion to feel liked,” Matt said offhandedly.

“You have a need to be hated,” Mike sighed.

Matt glared.

The stalemate remained intact.

 --

Sammy. Samuel. Sam.

He told Mike to call him Mr. Chung or Blindspot. Nothing more, nothing less.

Mike thought ‘Sammy’ was very cute.

It sounded nephew-like.

Sam told him that he wasn’t his nephew because Sensei wasn’t his dad because he already had a deadbeat, missing father, thanks. He wasn’t looking for another one.

Mike was getting the feeling that Sam was angry with him.

Matt wandered downstairs afterwards and knocked on Sam’s door and was allowed admission. For like. An hour.

Them double-standards, man.

 --

Matt announced that Mike was coming with him and Sam to walk the dogs. He bribed the kid with a promise of a bagel. Mike watched this happen.

Sam stared long and sad into Matt’s unseeing face exactly like Tuesday. Matt patted him on the head in consolation and he did not (did not) bite his hand (unlike the damn dog).

“Half an hour, kiddo,” Matt told him. “Then bagel.”

Sam was from New York, it turned out. Not Shanghai or Beijing or Hong Kong. And apparently it was rude to ask or assume the latter.

He liked bagels as much as any decent New Yorker did, and Matt knew this about him.

“Only for the bagel,” Sam told him.

“Only for the bagel,” Matt agreed. “I’ll buy and you can put whatever you want on it.”

“Egg,” Sam said definitively. “And peanut butter. And sriracha.”

Matt tried not to wince.

“Whatever you want,” he said.

Sam was pleased with his submission.

“Is it cold outside?” he asked.

 --

Sam loved the dogs. Mike suddenly understood why he and Matt got on so well now.

This kid had little care for drool on his hands and had a killer arm. The dogs raced after his lobbed tennis balls like their lives depended on it—even the old lady.

Matt said nothing.

He was busy acting as a buffer. He elbowed Mike in the ribs after the fifth throw or so.

Mike remembered the mission.

“Where’d you learn to throw, Sammy?” he asked.

Matt clutched at his face with a hand.

Sam side-eyed Mike without moving.

“Sam,” he said firmly. “Or BT. Or Chung.”

“Sammy suits you,” Mike told him. “Where’d you learn to throw?”

Sam furrowed his brow.

“My mom,” he said.

Oh, nice.

“She play baseball?” Mike asked.

“Archer,” Sam said stiffly.

“Very cool. Very cool.”

Annnnd that was it. Hm.

“Teach, why’re you lettin’ this guy hang around?” Sam asked out of the blue.

“Familial obligation, minor guilt, fear of maternal retribution,” Matt listed out dutifully.

Sam picked up the proffered ball and with it, accepted this answer. He chucked the ball and watched the dogs run.

“Are you a devil too?” he asked the field.

Mike blinked then realized the question was for him.

“Sort of,” he said.

“Definitely,” Matt sighed.

“What’s your thing then?” Sam asked. “You carry. Why?”

Why?

Because Mike Murdock wasn’t being caught out in the cold, no siree.

“My choice of company relies on, how shall we say, some rather poor communication,” he went for.

Sam hummed.

“So you’re a crook,” he said.

Matt choked on a laugh.

“A crook? No, no, kid,” Mike said. “You got me all wrong. I’m what you call an opportunist.”

Sam lifted an eyebrow.

“Uh-huh,” he said. “Sure. Why’re you such a dick?”

Wow.

No respect for his elders, truly.

“It’s the trauma,” he deadpanned. “And the older sibling burden.”

“You don’t look older than Sensei,” Sam pointed out.

“Well, looks aren’t everything, sweetheart,” Mike told him kindly.

Sam frowned.

“Why do you wear a hat?” he asked.

“Because I’m fantastic,” Mike told him.

“Oh, I get it now,” Sam said.

Mike straightened his back.

“Do you?” he asked.

“You’re just a fuckin’ clown,” Sam said.

 --

Okay, so Mike might just have to throw this one.

Matt wouldn’t stop laughing at him and it was his job to make Matt miserable, not the other way around. Any more of this and Matt would forget his place.

“Your son is out of line,” he scolded Matthew. “Doesn’t respect his elders. Doesn’t play well with strangers. You need to socialize him.”

Matt found that even more comical.

He wouldn’t say why. Mike had to interrogate Foggy, but that was difficult because Kirsten showed up and was gorgeous and too good for Matthew, so that had to be addressed with full and complete attention.

Kirsten leaned over and took Mike’s hat and patted him on the shoulder and said, “Sam’s never been disrespectful for more than five minutes at a go the whole time we’ve known him, Mikey, we’re learning more and more about him each day that you’re here.”

Which was.

Hm.

Not sexy.

But he would deal with that once Sexy herself gave him his hat back.

 --

He got a job on in Miami that night and had to cut his visit short. Matt was not sorry to see him go. That was pretty typical.

Sam had no opinions on his leaving. He stuck his head upstairs and said bye, but nothing more than that.

Mike felt bitter.

It had been a long time since he’d left a job feeling unsatisfied.

No closure.

Matt wasn’t supposed to be better with people than he was. That was their trade off. He wasn’t allowed.

“I’ll be back, and I’ll crack him,” He threatened his brother on the way to the airport.

“I have no doubt that you will,” Matt said patronizingly. “And I am sure that he’ll be waiting for your return.”

Yeah, well.

He better.

[ladybugsfanfics]

Shut Up And Kiss Me [14/?] | Tom Hiddleston

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x reader

WC: 2.3k

Warnings: pining, angst, implications of sex,

Summary: You and Professor Hiddleston have been colleagues for many years now, and through those years the hatred for each other has only grown. Now, as a new school year starts, you’re being told that you have to share a classroom or a class. Neither are happy about the outcome, but knowing you’ll never come to an agreement, you let the class choose for you. Team-teaching is rare in 2019, but it is a lot harder to do when you can’t stand the person you’re doing it with.

A/N: so this is late, and i havent posted anything in like two weeks, but school’s crazy and im kinda tired but this is finally here and i’ve reached 1k followers. I don’t know if i’ll make something out of it but thank you to every one who is following me and i hope you enjoy this part ^_^

Little goes through Tom’s mind when he wakes. Surprise catches him at the feel of someone lying in his arms, and more surprise at the unfamiliar room he’s in. Tom looks down to see who’s cuddling into him, whose fanning breath spreads across his chest.

His breath gets punched out of him at the sight of Y/N. Her hair tangled, arm draped over his bare torso, and heavy breathing mixing with the hammering of his heart.

Oh, God. He didn’t…?

But Tom knows he did. He didn’t drink. The events of the previous night flashes through his mind. How she’d asked if he could drive her home, how she’d needed help to get inside, how he’d watched her fiddle with her keys before getting open the door. He remembers the way his chest beat so rapidly, waiting for that inevitable goodbye that was doomed to come.

Everything stopped working inside of him when she pulled him into her doorway, when she tugged at his tie and made the motion to look up. Adrenaline had coursed through his body when his lips met hers. The five years of pining and trying to get over the painful breaking of his heart had been swept to the side. When she’d deepened the kiss with her arms wrapped around his neck and a jump before her legs were wrapped around his waist and his hand had come to cup her ass and they’d moved to the bedroom, lips still locked together, had been the most intense moment he’d ever experienced.

The picture he saved in his mind of her naked body in bed pops up and Tom has to shake away the thought.

This isn’t happening. Y/N had been drunk. She is with Chris. It was a mistake, clearly. A drunken one.

And he’d made the mistake of indulging.

It takes him only a second to make up his mind. He does his best to peel himself away from her, gaze flickering to her every moment just to make sure she doesn’t wake up. Boxers on, trousers on, shirt wrongly buttoned, a quick grasp of socks and jacket, and he double checks his wallet and phone are still there, and knowing he has his belongings, he soundlessly slips out the door.

Only a week left before Christmas break. Only a week where things might be slightly awkward between the two of them. Only a week to figure out what the hell he’s supposed to do now.

This isn’t the way it was supposed to happen.

---

Awkwardness is the least of Tom’s worries, apparently.

When he makes it to the classroom before class on Tuesday (and mind you, he hasn’t seen Y/N since before they fell asleep Saturday evening), he’s met with the pleasurable yet very frightening bright smile Y/N sends him.

“Hey,” she says, eyes lighting up with a passion Tom hasn’t ever seen before. “We haven’t talked that much lately, but I thought we had some time now.” She hands him a paper. “I wanted to talk about the upcoming exam, and how to best prepare them to get the best possible grades.”

Tom takes the paper she hands, and sees a list of suggestions. The title reads Tips To Get The Best Exam Results. He nods slightly. “Sure, sounds good.” His voice sounds weird to his ears, lighter than normal. He coughs slightly, and tries again. “Did you have anything specific in mind that we should focus on?”

Nope, still no good.

But if Y/N noticed, she doesn’t say anything, the smile still brightly lighting up her face. “Just thought we could go off the list, really. Something I threw together on Sunday. Already had a rough draft, but you know, can’t stop working.” She tips her head a little, almost a shrug but not really one.

He’s tempted to ask her; if he did something wrong. Maybe he shouldn’t have left her apartment? Maybe they should talk about it?

Tom looks down to check his watch. Still fifteen minutes until any students are supposed to make an appearance. That’s more than enough time to talk about the incident, more than enough, only how does he start―

“Tom?” Y/N waves a hand in front of his face, her own searching for a response.

He shakes his head. “Sorry, what?”

“Just asked if there was anything you thought I’d missed. I want your input.”

There’s something so completely foreign to that sentence that Tom freezes. Even if they were making progress with how well they got along, he’d never actually thought she’d willingly ask for his input. Especially not after he left her apartment after a (great) round of sex and hasn’t actually talked to her since―as far as he knows, most people don’t like that.

However, he has to pull himself out of his head. So he shakes his head (no, he has not read the list) and just gives her a weak smile. “I’m sorry, I’m not really present today.”

“That’s okay,” she says, smile back on her face, though more sweet and less bright. Almost bordering on saccharine. “Can’t always be present, can we? I bet you had a pretty rough Sunday, too. Might not have had that good a Monday either?”

Tom raises a brow. “Rough Sunday? Were you very hungover?” Yes, he avoids the questions. He needs to know if there’s a possibility she doesn’t remember. Of course, that would only make matters worse because he would feel compelled to tell her.

Y/N scrunches her nose a little. “Not that much. I didn’t drink a lot, with the exceptions of the shots I took, but honestly, without them I’d never dared to kiss you either, so… kinda thankful.” And as she talks, her demeanor changes. Tom starts to wonder if she wasn’t being passive aggressive all this time with her sweet voice and big smile.

“You… uhm.” Tom’s words don’t work. Or maybe they don’t exist.

“Yeah, great night, actually. You know, other than you walking out on me, but I can’t blame you.” She shrugs. There’s nothing close to hurt in her voice, nothing close to anger either, really.

Tom has to swallow, because he feels like there’s something more she wants to say and he’s not sure the tug at his heart can take it if she does. Whether that’s a bold reveal that she does, in fact, not like him, in any way, or if it is that she likes him. But what if she likes him only sexually? Will he indulge?

“You know?” she says and takes a step closer to him. “We got about ten minutes. Or more, if we lock the door.” A finger comes up to drag down a little of the shirt he wears, exposing some of his chest. She doesn’t say the last words, but Tom can hear them.

His heart beats rapidly in his chest. Her fingers dance with flames as they graze across and trace their way to his chin. A firm hand takes hold of it, steadying his gaze into hers and he’s not sure he can say no when she licks her lips in that way.

God, his pants are tight.

When he lets her tug him down to ghost her lips over his, he knows he’s screwed. He’s breaking his own heart, breaking the pieces he thought were mending slowly but surely, breaking the trust he put into himself to be strong enough to resist the temptation.

But when Y/N’s lips graze past and connect with his neck, he can’t control the impulse that makes his hands fly to her hips to pull her flush against him. His hands graze the lining of her shirt, and he knows they don’t have time for teasing or foreplay or anything Tom really enjoys.

He doesn’t care. He gives in, succumbing to the desire that resides deep within him. If the only way Tom can be close to Y/N is by being a fuck buddy, he couldn’t care less. At least he gets to be with her.

---

By now, Tom would be home. He’d be with Bobby, cradling the dog into him to gain the cuddles he so desperately needed but didn’t get from the person he most wanted.

Yet, Tom isn’t home. He’s still at the office, slumped down in his too small couch with its too lumpy cushions and too hard armrests. It was the first thing he’d done when he got back after the Creative Writing class. Mostly because he needed time to think, but he can’t think because all that’s on it is how good those ten minutes before class started had been.

God knows he loves foreplay, but God knows they hadn’t needed it.

It’s not like that isn’t what he wanted to think about, it’s just that he can’t stop thinking about how it felt, instead of thinking about what this means for him. For them. For Y/N: His mind should be travelling through all the consequences of such a relationship. Or his mind shouldn’t only be focusing on the positive consequences.

He should focus on how this might rupture the steady going of an actual friendship (with the hopeful something more), but instead he can’t stop thinking about the feelings that rushed through him when Y/N’s lips had press to that spot on his neck. He can’t stop thinking about the throbbing in his abdomen, the swirl of hurt and guilt and arousal deep within his gut, the adrenaline that rushed through his body knowing she wanted him.

However, the one thought (that’s a mixture of positive and negative) he can’t let go, is that she avoided kissing him. She avoided pressing her lips to his, despite the obvious passion that had come from it on Saturday. She almost avoided his face entirely (the slight hint of a red mark on his neck―that one of their students had pointed out over the course of the class―isn’t necessarily unwanted).

But that feeling, that deep, deep longing that had accompanied the kiss on Saturday (no matter if it was prompted by alcohol), he missed that. He wanted it. He still wants it. He wants all of it. More than just friends with benefits, more than a casual relationship, more than… He isn’t even sure exactly what it is they do have.

Maybe they have something that can lead somewhere? Maybe they have something that won’t continue? Maybe they have something―  

Tom’s train of thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. He scrambles to sit upright on the couch (though he nearly falls off). And, with some sense of dignity still left, he says, “come in.”

The door opens agonizingly slowly. Tom has a silent wish of it being Y/N wanting something more, but he also has a huge wish it’s Benedict and that he can talk to his best friend about the problem that is eating away at him.

And thank God, his prayers are answered. Benedict fully steps into the room and gives Tom a quick once up. He raises a brow and smirks slightly. “And what did I walk in on?” he asks.

“Nothing.” Tom shakes his head. “No, there is something. You have time to talk or did you just come here for a favor?”

Benedict closes the door and sits down in the chair at his side of the desk. He turns it to face Tom and leans back, arms crossed over his chest. “I was coming in here for something else, but you look like you need to talk more. What’s going on?”

“It’s Y/N.”

“Of course it is. Did something happen Saturday?” Benedict raises a brow.

Tom nods, slowly. “We… uhh, I don’t know how to put this, but… we, uhmm…” He takes a deep breath, unsure of how to say the words, unsure of Benedict’s reaction. “We slept together.”

The man’s eyes go wide, and a frown comes through on his face. “Like in the same bed, or the… you know?”

“We had sex, and then fell asleep afterward. Why would we just sleep in the same bed?” Tom shakes his head at his best friends.

“I don’t know. Maybe there was something else.” He shrugs. “But that can’t be everything.”

Tom presses his lips together. He drapes a hand across his face, a sigh accompanying the gesture. “We did it again. I guess you could call it a ‘quicky’. In the classroom. Before our students came in.”

“Is that the reason for the red mark on your neck?”

“Yes.”

When Tom looks up to meet Benedict’s gaze, it feels almost like the older man is mocking him. The teasing, and halfway disappointed, look on Benedict's face is tantalizing.

“She or you initiate?”

“Her. Both times.”

“But the first she was drunk?”

Tom nods. “She had a mistletoe in her doorway. I guess it helped when I followed her up to her flat, seeing as she couldn’t really walk.”

Benedict chuckles. “Are you going to keep it up?”

A sigh falls from Tom’s lips. “I don’t know. Should I?”

“Is it worth it?”

Is it worth it? Is it worth the ache in his heart when she looks at him as if he holds everything she desires but not the part he wants her to desire? Is it worth the stab in his gut when her lips don’t connect with his? Is it worth the scorching heat that comes off of her fingers grazing his skin, of her hands studying his chest? Is it worth his heart leaping into his throat because she feels so close yet so far away? Is it worth it, if his heart will only break past redemption in an effort to be close to her even if it’s not in the way he wants?

“I don’t know.” Tom shakes his head. “What if it’s the only way? What if that’s my only option to be close to her? What if I lose everything if I stop it?”

Benedict smiles, but whatever is really on his mind, he doesn’t say. “Tom, be real. Is it worth it?”

He takes a deep breath, unsure of his answer. Unsure until his lips part and the words carry around the room.

“Yes.”

permanent tags:  @devilbat @adefectivedetective @gamillian @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @heartislubbingdubbing @wiczer @chillcan @geeksareunique @fandom-imagines1

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suakm tags:  @plooffairy @just-the-hiddles @jennytwoshoes @lokissidehoe @fruitfly123 @princetale @scorpionchild81 @noplacelikehome77 @winterisakiller @lostsoldieronahill @nonsensicalobsessions @cherrygeek86 @louhpstuff @olyamoriarty @sunshinein17 @kthemarsian @kumikowi @secretcupcakekitty @buckygrantbarnes @josis-teacup @runawaygiirl @januarycalendargirl @funny-fangirl @kinghiddlestonanddixon @scorpiomindfuck  @dr-kayleigh-dh @inmyworstlies @twhgirl @maah-chan @florencia93c @i-am-a-mes @o-deya @eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy @cantaloupewatch @carpediem-spero @createdbyanintensenerd @beananacake @lysawayne @nightrose64 @bradfordbantams @feyre-thehighlady @thundermaximoff @lys-syl @beenthroughalot @xrainydazeteax​ @mautand​ @coldbookworm​ @cursed-moonstone @justanobodyinthisbigworld​ @holyodepius​

[bobasheebaby]

70 Scrubs Prompts

Yup, another prompt list. Most of these are actually light and funny, though some are a little heavier. I tried to pick ones that would work outside of a hospital setting. Again it’s super long so cutting at 15. 

1 “And who’s to say this isn’t what happens? Who can tell me that my fantasies won’t come true? Just this once ... “ — John JD Dorian

2 “Look NAME, I don’t know if it’s possible for me to put how I feel about you into words, but I guess I’ll give it a shot. I never really believed I’d find somebody that I love as much as you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. NAME, I love you more than FRIEND.” “Oh my god” “It's kind of hard for me to say, but it's true.” — John JD Dorian and Elliot Reid

3 “I grew up on the street ... No, not the hood. The Sesame Street.” — John JD Dorian

4 “As I looked at all the relationships around me ... Some that had gone on forever ... some that were reigniting ... and some that had just begun ... I realized something: It should have been me.” — John JD Dorian

5 “NAME, you can’t test love. When I met NAME, it seemed he/she was more in love with his/her best friend than with me.” “Honey, they’ve got that almond biscotti FRIEND loves, so I was wondering if I could borrow some money so I can get him/her some.” “No, you got him/her a present yesterday.” — Carla and Turk

6 “You’ve been wrong so many times that I'm not even going to say something is wrong anymore. I'm going to say that it's 'NAME'.

— Perry Cox

7 “I just took a pregnancy test, just tell me when a minute's up.” “I just put some pizza rolls on the microwave oven; the minute that bad boy rings we're good to go.” “Oh, my god, I can't stand it, 30 more seconds.” “OK baby, don't get too excited, they have to cool off for at least a minute.” — Carla and Turk

8 “So, uh, you going to lunch with your brother/sister?” “Yeah, I... well, you know, I would've invited you, but I already made the reservation for two.” “So call and change it to three.” “Ohh, I'm not gonna mess with that hostess. You know, she uses sharp tones.” — Elliot Reid and John JD Dorian

9 “Nothing in this world, that's worth having comes easy.” — Bob Kelso

10 “Yeah, I'm not that great with kids. They've got such tiny hands. It's creepy.” — Elliot Reid

11 “I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.” — Perry Cox

12 “Oh, my God! I'm gagging and vomiting at the same time. I'm... I'm gavomiting!” — Perry Cox

13 “So he/she has a cute butt. Everyone has a cute butt. I have a cute butt.” “You should bring it in someday.” — John JD Dorian & Carla Espinosa

14 “The problem with people who only want what they can’t have is that once they have what they want, they don’t want it anymore.” — John JD Dorian

15 “I guess when you care about someone, you’ll do whatever you can to make ’em happy.” —John JD Dorian

16 “The truth is, it is all your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones that make up who you are as a person” — John JD Dorian

17 “‘Cause even if it breaks your heart to be ‘just friends’, if you really care about someone, you’ll take the hit.“ — John JD Dorian

18 “The easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.” — John JD Dorian

19 “Sometimes in life when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind.” — John JD Dorian

20 “Sex is only good for two things. Making babies and revenge.” — Jordan Sullivan

21 “What's going on?” “I love you too dumpling, but I have to work late. I'll make it up to you this weekend.” “NAME’s on the phone with his/her mom/dad/parent, so we're taking five.” — Jordan Sullivan, Ted Buckland and Perry Cox

22 “By the way, NAME’s here but I'm not going to kiss and tell.” “Oh really? Cause I just got your text that said "bone city".” “Oh really? That came through?” — JD and Elliot

23 “You're gonna love it here, sport.” “Get out while you still can.” “Uh...” “Seriously, get out while you still can.” — Bob Kelso, Ted Buckland, and Keith Dudemeister

24 “Ted, what are you doing?” “I like to do stomach crunches after lunch.” “Ted, lunch was four hours ago.” “Yep, I wasted most of my Tuesday.” “It's Wednesday.” “Aw, man! I missed SHOW!” — John JD Dorian and Ted Buckland

25 “Well, it took a whole tube of gel, but I finally got my hair down.” “No one male or female ever cared, NAME.” — Ted Buckland and Perry Cox

26 “Thirsty, huh?” “Helps the tears taste less bitter.” “Cheers.” — John JD Dorian and Ted Buckland

27 “I have to get ready man. I want my date with NAME to be perfect. What do you think about a romantic horseback ride on the beach?” “Ooh, like you and I did for your birthday.” “Yeah but except this time with two horses.” — John JD Dorian and Turk

28 “I am wearing red. Should I not be wearing red around her?” “She's pregnant, she's not a bull.” — Elliot Reid and Turk

29 “This is why the headache didn't go away, it is actually pronounced 'analgesic', not 'ANALgesic'. The pills go into your mouth.” — Turk

30 [She/he sees NAME holding a beer] “What are you doing? [He/she threatens to open it] “You better not open that.” [He/she opens it] “Okay, you better not drink it.” [He/she takes a sip] “All right, You better not enjoy it.” [He/she expresses enjoyment, person A bitch slaps his/her beer] “Did you just bitch slap my beer?” “Are you calling me a bitch?” “Yes. Yes, I am!” — Carla and Turk

31 “Is there another guy on this planet who is that sensitive?” “Okay, let it out. I've got you. NAME has got you. Hold me tighter, a little too tight...There is a good spot.” — Turk and JD

32 person a “This plan is fool proof.” Person c “That is impossible. You two are involved.” Person c “We will see about that!” [Person a and c crash into each other as they try to walk away] — JD, Perry Cox and Turk

33 person a “I don't think we have anymore wine. NAME, can I have some of yours?” [Person C’s narration: I felt like NAME was starting to blame me for all of this.] [person b Spills his/ her wine in person c’s face) “I spilled mine too, honey. You know what you should do? Ask for some NAME’s.” [Person C Spills his/her wine on his/her crotch] “I spilled mine too.” — Carla, Turk and JD

34 “Wait NAME! I have an idea.” “You have another idea? Well I've got to tell you, I'm done with your ideas and not just for now but forever! Okay, are we clear on that?”  “It's a good one.” “I'm listening.” — JD and Turk

35 “He/she is not allowed to dream about me. It gets too freaky in there.” “Cirque de Soleil freaky. One time, he/she was skinless.” — Carla and Turk

36 “How often do you make love?” “Twice today.” “Actually it was three times. You were asleep for the last one.” “Wow, that really happened? I thought it was weird that you were in one of my sex dreams.” — Marston, Turk and Carla

37 “How was your first stress-free day?” “Horrible. And you?” “Worse. Let's make a baby. If it doesn't work this time I'll kill myself.” “Not helping with the stress.” — Carla and Turk

38 “Dude, there you are. Two things; First, the aliens are here and they're wearing track suits.” “Oh, that's Nana.” — Turk and JD

39 “Are you nude right now?” “Yeah! How'd you know?” “Your voice is always higher when you're nude.” “That's true.” “It's not weird you know that at all.” —JD, Turk and Perry Cox

40 “You know, I actually like NAME. So, don't do that thing you always do.” “If you're referring to the game "Find the Saltine", relax. I don't even play that with NAME anymore.” [Later] “Behind your ear.” [Withdrawing Saltine from behind his ear] “My friend, you have found the Saltine. Uh, but, don't tell NAME we're still playing.”— Elliot Reid, JD and Turk

41 “Dude, he/she keeps a hug schedule with his/her friends!” “Okay, NAME ... looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2 o' clock spot and getting penciled in for never! How does that feel? Does it sting?” Person B Narration: He's hurting! Hug him/her ... hug him/her now! — Turk and JD

42 “Dude, don't sweat it - It says here that the ostrich is generally a docile creature.” “Thank God!” “It also says their kick can kill a man!” — Turk and JD

43 “Just don't repeat the same mistakes you made with me. For instance, don't speed down the road pretending your brakes are out. I don't care if it got you laid once in high school. It is not funny and I still have not forgiven you for killing that pony.” — Elliot Reid

44 “NAME, I don't photograph well. On my driver's license, I look like Gary Busey.” — Elliot Reid

45 “We have a very complicated past.” “Yeah, I hurt him/her, and I'm not proud.” Person B narration: I'm a little proud. — Elliot and JD

46 “NAME and I keep it superficial.” “Love the superficial. Dynamite teeth today!” “Oh thanks buddy!” “Sparkly.” “Yeah!” — Elliot and JD

47 “Will you tell me what NAME’s fantasy was?” “Nope.” “Did it involve chains?” “No.” “Whips?” “Mm-mm.” “Candle wax?” “No.” “Role-playing?” “No.” “Lasers?” “Mm-mm.” “Hamsters?” “Negative.” “Was he/she a Mexican apple thief?” “If only ...” — JD and Elliot

48 “Why don't you just move into my place?” “Oh, great, then we'll be two losers under one roof.” — Elliot and JD

49 “NAME, what you said before ... I knew you were right. Anyway, I'm sorry I got mad. You were wrong about one thing, though - we are moving forward.” “NAME, I'm thirty years old; I'm single, I'm homeless, and I'm pretty sure I just soiled myself.”

— Elliot and JD

50 Person A “Ohhh, my God, you're right.” Person B “Don't let him/her be your puppet-master.” Person C “Hey!” Person B “Hey.” Person C “What's up?” Person B “I have a headache.” Person C “Take some aspirin.” Person B “Don't tell me what to do! You're not the boss of me!” — Carla, Elliot and Jake

51 “I've never connected with a guy/girl like this before. I mean, even though it's only been two weeks, I already feel like I know NAME better than I know myself.” “What does he/she do for a living?” “I should know that.” — Elliot and Carla

52 “Look, the reason I've been acting so weird and having my friends hang around us all the time is because I really think that we have a shot for something great, and I don't wanna go and ruin it by sleeping with you too fast. I mean, what was I supposed to do?” “Well, you...you could have just told me that.” “Yes, but you're forgetting I'm a crazy person!” — Elliot and Jake

53 “I've seen the Wiggles live in concert ... twice.” “Did they perform 'Big Red Car'?” “They opened and closed the show with it. It was awesome.” — Perry Cox and Turk

54 “What's wrong with me?” “You're an annoying, whining man-child.” “That question wasn't directed to you!” “What question?” — JD and Perry Cox

55 “I’m notifying all my old boyfriends/girlfriends today that I'm officially off the market.” “I'm sure the 'pulse' setting on your shower head will be devastated!” — Elliot Reid and Perry Cox

56 “If there is one thing I have learned, it's that you can't schedule love.” “I think your credit card statement would beg to differ.” — Bob Kelso and Perry Cox

57 “Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man/Woman Not Caring.” [points to self] — Perry Cox

58 “If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.” — Perry Cox

59 “Should I talk slower or get a nurse that speaks fluent moron?” — Perry Cox

60 “Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak, or do you find you drift in and out?” — Perry Cox

61 [thinking] Why don't I ever listen to me? — JD

62 “And you know what else? I quit!” “No you don't!” “Well I'm leaving early today!” “No, you're not! You're coming back to my office to do busy work!” “Fine, but I'm getting a soda first!” “Whatever.” — Ted Buckland and Bob Kelso

63 “Your dog is creepy.” “Aww...be nice to Rowdy. The guy we bought him from used to keep him in a box full of old hats.” — Elliot and JD

64 “I thought we cared about each other ...” “Oh please, if you didn't want to sleep with me, you'd have done the same thing.” “Well, I'll tell you one thing, the last thing in the world I wanna do is sleep wit'cha now!” “Do me right here.” “Okay.” “See!” — JD and Elliot

65 “Huh! I put all those fliers up, and nobody wants me to live with them!” “Oh, come on, NAME. I'm sure you'll eventually find a roommate who's a... clean, non-smoking vegetarian that rinses the shower thoroughly after each usage.” “Oh, well, if you don't, it gets mildewy.” “You know, you should move in with my friend: Anal McLooney.” — Elliot and JD

66 “You know, I've been thinking a lot about us lately.” “Me too.” “God, you drive me crazy.” “Oh, you drive me crazy!” “Sometimes I just lay awake at night, thinking about how unbelievably lucky I am to have you in my life.” “Sometimes you're so controlling it makes me want to strangle you..” — Paul and Elliot

67 “Tonight, I am going to make all of your fantasies come true.” “You know, NAME, I would be happy just to have sex above the covers once.” “Yeah ... never gonna happen.” — Elliot and Paul

68 “You know, it's funny... when I said "I love you," it was an accident - and I never really loved you at all.” “That is an absolute riot.” — Elliot and Paul

69 “Okay, here's what you do: First you say that, even though our relationship is ending, you don't have any regrets.” “Oh, my God! Are you actually telling me how to break up with you?” “You're right. Go ahead.” “If you could just start me off, that'd be super.” — Paul and Elliot

70 Person A “You never explained that U2 thing, did you!” Person B “You know, I've been thinking about it, and maybe it's not such a bad thing that that happened! Right? I mean, things have been going really well between us, and maybe it was fate! I could've been looking at my Bel Biv Devoe CD and said, "I love Bel Biv Devoe" - which I do, by the way. And I'm not ashamed of it.” Person A and B “That girl is poison..." Person A “NAME, look, I just think that if you guys are meant to get to this point, it'll happen... naturally.” Person B “You're right! "I love U2!" Dammit! Why do I always have to say every little thing that comes into my head!? Ugh, I really wish you wouldn't stand so close to me after you take your hummus break. See! I didn't need to say that! I'm gonna tell him.” Person C “Love you!” Person B “Love you more!” Person A “Ugh!” Person B “You know what - brush your teeth, then judge me!” — Carla, Elliot and Paul

[dreamscometrueeee]

Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster

Flight is garbage in the claim you rents what is so is it would somebody went there Alicia Countyand that’s the bad I’ll be only the people that were attached the place like that was doing it right limit memorializing all that brought you to comics in the pages of important she is important that you mean that scene led me to comics need to did have you do you are you you must make times of the remorse ghastlyand you told him about it is you guys Kikiand he said I knew where I is doing music really weird at the time glass that is mainstream now safely give to find new where shall I just discovered inflationand all these other pretty amazing things that I’ve never heard of before is also a Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster T shirt anywhere mental were suicide gasping like he’s been amazingly supportive personnel to the cellistand concerns Streetand we are importantand that’s a nature asking questions when you need to like from my training but cure you are your great creative great I like something really try to get the thing that’s good to me sound share your right Obama is a jolly good the things I commented that in the did you write realize that I work in this book I created this bookand somebody would you have to be lineage of comicsand this is a goodwill to the guys taking over after you had a wonderful AA like thisand this is unspoken is like saying you went over to somebody outside of London commission’s are you doing something radically like a faint getting his writing grant requests were for Pauland said that you message to mischaracterization furs are going to jump to wagerand I would be glad to do that for a writer that the wheel of comics continues to as it was done for you see somebody else the book is out if your request is on Monday tomorrow if you watch this any to do on Monday or Tuesday with make sure I first six issues on a diamond in keep that society can also brought us towels I like this flexand how beach town you are living the goddamn Marianneand John is probably is not to say your dreamand your earning it in your way can be like you’re doing right honorand trying to good heartand trying young animal line Gerard Way he’s in comics is in your headand heart felt very still carry Jeff said that before you send a thank you driveway Navy fat man on Batman I becomes Barbaraand he spent driveway come back next episodeand see the students say that on say that channels my guest. I year ago like this week with Elma’s anniversary has been even hyperactive instance like a urologic where Mary might think that is really touches on everything you just discuss the potential light on so when I first sat down with Andy Dioand we had that AEI we can any do we like each other timeout like things we can do in storiesand we told themand one penny he said to me because you is wanting an IDC shape DC has always been a struggle for me to be like 40 fictional organizations that basically do the same thingand actually very messy as a literary device it actually is difficult for some of the other writers now they’re all created out of good places all creator going on when I make a thing so I don’t bother the other thing is 516 so I he said story like I like a spy thriller where all these thingsand all urging yourand I seminoma your interest like knockdown about something something arises out of it dad that was kind of the the purpose of all of this that could be pretty cooland what has to push back against it. Injury resume displays there you where they left is obviously not the one Michael Silver in the NFL network that your golf because of the Cal connection but from a different perspective last year just cut to the chase why is it that part of the Cal offense really was install by Sonny Dykes but the offensive coordinator what is it that none of that was brought in you drafts of the number one like Mary O’Halloran James Winston or Tammyand you install parts raise their familiar withand approaches but the disaster didn’t do that why you think that was welland glad personnel you begin to get a on the opposite is knowledge that we may be short done that they were I think a private area that is a valid question in general why oh why you many Apple coordinators insist on you know not having to do with them of what is to live my life back to as you was the often lineand maybe still is developing that much you notice that it a lot of peopleand myself included potentially talk about the proposal in the trenches line installed outline we immediately revert back to the mentality with anything that we can’t do this is my quarterbackand allow you to be flattered of a negative I really have to do a lot of the lines the cowboy last two years or the raider last year are you taking the team nylon in 2017 I see what the line can do I reminder that while you really think that I think the render the Einstein to chance what concerns me is that I don’t think the line is all want to do so without a salon Dell I’m very curious to know what you think of the raider’s chances this year with your prediction or can you make it prediction about doing what we need a predation but I you I’m very you think I know many of the type of team that they could better than doing oneand in any given point out they were in that position but I think they are that good the incident concerning those are you there be better a table waiting 30 they should also be a hell I am excited aboutand you have to death the running back God the line is really really good the quarterback is getting betterand you Jericho to the tandem of Michael Crabtreeand Lori Cooper which is pretty specialand I don’t see him getting stopped regularly so I am really raters I think you played a very good team to be there they were obviously scary on paper even scarier than going to last year I really like better than a lot of people realize that I say to someone who lived our way because I would down going in the last

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There is still a Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster shouldn’t stiffand rigid it is relax a little bit of your post is’s little slack to exert effort to correct Paul shows so that’s the balanceand third quality is the window still awareness is for keeping the back straightand of course your hands on the lapis balance gesture balance to be the spine straight is the is that what I know so when is present fireand theand so you well your checking the posture on the way upand downand when read the possible is slightly improved bullshit slow to do so while you’re at it in the back as you scan your Paul shoulder from the feed to the on the crownand then you have this is the fourth qualities awareness so that is all about LOL how long carefully Perez not harried not too slow all the way you scan upand then just into universal scanning the on so you’re doing the posture to know each Paul shows this symbol of the poll showsand check correct the poll showing the quality of stability of the balance of the world to the awareness of the fiveand inside of an element so in this way scan your body upand down for good six loops around I call that one batter insert after there is six surrounds take a shop short in a break after that Jane scanned the posture of the doing the knowing checkingand correctingand then feeling both show sewing this for you scan upand down up to see if every six surrounds take a short minute breakand then again sit in the Paul shows I leave you to it all for the first load of time keeping your posture in good order as you have all been guarding that from the last slow time though this time you keep old the stillness of the everything the body the days alliesand the bedroomand so on the third one live Brother is the stillness of attention this time your attention should be run abundantly for this on your breath so stillness means one point so you one point in ill knowingly in her see the oxygen coming old the healing properties all the goodness you can bring in rental is inspire in this with inhalation as the season goes into the chestand love just imagine permeatesand going to the bloodstreams it promotes a wellnessand healingand rejuvenates your whole mindand bodyand spirit with this mine hold the breath spread the breath in the chestand everywhereand then as you breathe out slowly bring up an intention in the body while these fears anything suffering of the world breathe out with the holding in your mind just breathe out also the sword carbon is releaseand this failure exile send this way to stay with inhalation when inhaling staying with his retention rented holding the breathand then stay with accelerationand breathing out each of them finally do them to inspireand him have two rejuvenated when you hold the breath to releaseand let go of an XL so do six surrounds theand after every six surrounds then take a minute break so the surgery the second slot of time he remained still in the Paul should get his do not forget to do the breathing know what is supposed to be thinking free effectand in this way keep your attention so Chrisand time your duration of the batter food no more than six rounds after every six to take a minute break don’t let the mind wonder all fall go doll the forgetful lazy to the Bolshevik stick the abiding in this really mindfulness on holding three stillness of the object environment the postureand the days allies know the full stillnessand this time is one pointedly focusing your attention not only doing would qualify round of breath but dutifully counting without losing the account without compromising the actual quantity so the quality of you all in breathand attention Brad accelerationand then count them at the end of each exhalation meant Tijuanaand to console up to say 21and it’s most likely to succeed to reach that without losing the Then take a minute break when you reach the 21 should you readand distractedand the whale somewhere without being distracted by the distraction just use to take a useful minuteand then started to succeed to reach the top of 21 000 account try to increase the sharpness resolution of the rebound breathand then tried those counting starting with 21 for the first round once finished the culture into theand then to the next swing in the next only do knowand seeand feel each effect all three segments around breath finish that been count night send this was still very focusedand attentive mindfully staying with the full were those counting of cold hole toand the do all the the home on all the old all so thank you for joining with the meditation of cruiser meditation is in Oakland is best done when you don’t have to look at the screenand someone leading your butt look at screen your own mindand but because this time we are doing this guiding this meditation as part of our regular tradition so that today’s topic of the talk is motherhood in Buddhism the mother in Buddhism so because today’s a Mother’s Day dinner when this was injured using internationally but to the role of mother in Buddhism this is very important so I will try to address this topic all for remembering all motherand her kindnessand how to go all develop a consignment of some people have difficulties with the mother the need to reconcile’s because if they don’t reconcile that is probably the many of the problems in life is the repetition of that is so in the context of I would like to draw give this dole in context of the four Noble truths to the suffering of the slides to the truth of suffering is the suffering that as we have faith to do with our mother colonial peoples so still suffering with the mother of the problem is to do with the motherand and the end I think her mother is the problemand so therefore that life is somewhat to somewhat damaged by that something else to do with the motherand parties shall mother has a role to do so that’s the truth of suffering the truth of origin of the South suffering that one has with the mother is not reconciling with mother not to the paying kindness not realizing how sufferingand not realizing how signifiesand all being selfishand the not to the seeing what all Mother’s Day but we only see what we didn’t get for my mother so this greedand self centeredness is the true origin of the suffering to do with one’s motherand theand then them so the then the remembering the kindness of motherand so onand wanted to practice a consignment with mother is of course the truth of the noble truth of the path that because you will be able to try to practice righteous to choose with lovingkindness so much of the tall gone thatand hopefully they will be the truth of cessation decision is that there is no longer the same problemand anger is a Zen man then our children to to do with the heavens above with the mother but in the in relation to that first I would like to just go back to the Godand his mother when the Buddha was the widow was born when he was better which is why we called the consumer with year old it was just one week old souland young his mother passed away’sand the so therefore Buddha was did not really have an actual lot of time to spend his time with his mother he probably knew that the chose to conceive of the timeand he did so nevertheless it is said that when Buddha was the meditating of the beach just before the couple maybe couple of weeks or days before his attainment of Enlightenment so the sum of the day was informed of the Buddha’s mother who she has been being reborn in the heaven of the threat through them God’s informed half saying that your son has deserted your palaceand deserve your husbandand he has not fulfilled her wishesand expectations of the per patternsand his wife that he has a abandoned the childand wifeand he’s now about to die of starvationand sold so therefore them in the mother from the accuses heaven the 33 rounds looks down he also could see the house the Prince about the is indeed the is a emaciated bodies become so thinand weakand sitting under a tree almost like a slug of minutes of Scott so she criedand wafted to sitand when she criedand said the teardropand blue those lapsand it is then the Buddha broke silenceand told his mother that her mom please do not to be ill informed by the day was but I’m about to win enlightenment in the very shortly so I would visit so that is the storyand thenand not so long after his attending enlightenmentand turning the wheel of domicile enough he actually then visited us he told her in on the end of his disciples that he has to go to teacher his motherand then he went to to the heaven of threaded throughout God for three months three months to repair kindnessand revenge of the people of the Dharmaand other teaching to the heaven of the interim goals including his mother so that’s example of how Buddha interrupted from his three months I wish Abbé Scholz know me from this worldand then he wentand talked to the dogma to his mother so that is the life of Buddhaand so also goes with the I can remember that this is such a pundit the antigen century so that heand his mother was very illand cannot go suffering while largely the illnessesand could not spend a good nights sleep all day since very longand so onand also he was as a celebrated Buddhist monkand teacher she wrote this special style Jim will rebuild this is the book was called demo rebirthing but actually it was a how to entertain his mother’s teaching other Buddhists a pathand status of Enlightenmentand the soulsand subsequently his writing has become a are damn all boardgame in Tibetan Buddhism then couple of American scholars of Tibetan Buddhist scholars have turned that bull right into text called demo report in order to teach his mother to repair kindness sold the gray masses have have done a lot of great work so today I’m going to really help you to focus on how youand I also as a as a as a child of our mother can best best learn to to approach the all all perception of motherand change by reflecting on heart kindness first for its it’s important to call my mother very lovinglyand very redand set my kind mother my kind motherand if you can say that you’re my kind motherand just try to see her face just try to see remember the times that she been very kindand does this remember the time that she had she she has she has become a very oldand then how much himand his suffering not from the day that she she conceive you all what must have how delighted Moshe have been as found a found a gem all all what ever so all mother from the very day that she conceive us in in in hot womb as she she was willing to forbear all hardships physical hardships emotional hardships as well as financial constraint is water whatever a professional kind of a risking to the sacrifice she had to make a lot of women when they become pregnant they basically have to have to give up their career or give up the positions than mothers or mothers have done that so therefore try to remember imagine old the what the what a physicaland emotionaland financial difficulties all mother would’ve gone through the G June 1 time June 1 ignition timing me when she considerately conceived in in a mouse in her womb almost should put up with a hard life at the online so to speak she did put half live online so that she can that usand bring up bring bring bring up in this world so so therefore it’s very important to remember what what takes to become the to what takes to become a biological mother just carrying the baby for nine monthsand 10 days to be exact according the third but also wrote a very beautiful all time about about her confessing all the sufferings of mother who he knows that is partly due to him being is said because childand he says my mother you carried me nine monthsand 10 days in your bodyand the ever increasing weight of my body has completely sort of sag your bodyand jeopardize your other activities in life but nevertheless you put your live onlineand are used voluntarily accepted all the sufferings on all full photos to me to be born into the world then from the moment that the you will bond be up on even though we were helpless but she completely is no embrace all body with hot warmth of our bodyand clean the dirtand filled inand the snoband the old old you know whatever we remix every Minnesota come out a waste of my Bob orders she would clean itand wipe itand the anything to put in her womb armsand look at look at with a kind eyesand called with a very sweet namesand theand the that she wouldn’t even even drink on warm food or drinks but instead she would rather she would rather delay them until we are totally comforted on Julia settle downand theand breast feed us old her physical needs into strength whatever strengthand energy she has even that she would rather let that do all the bodily energy of how she would breast feed usand that wasn’t just for today just for today or one night continues for 2 to 2 years she should continue to hold us she wouldn’t to go out even for a day even for couple hours is as we will be will more precious than hop on life what one of the debating places that we were treated as own piece of hot dinnerand the from which charcoal also ways to keep us from dangerand protect us from the coldand heatand it never would do to part from our all moment she would do all kinds of things so that the solid food could is not easy to swallow all the mashed with our fingers thingsand then try to feed us even though even though we are not corporative to to do that she fed us slowly you know that the that the weather whatever even though we can just lie down where reports she would not leave us alone she will constantly keep a watch so that she wouldn’t dare to do anything for Hamas should become the constant care constant God closed in sort of a poetical like a herder like it is animal you’re constantly hurting them to become the most helpless the thing that highlight has found but most preciousand she therefore has it just old half signifies all to how timeand enjoyment in activitiesand interest but completely giving us giving us the to the foodand clothes warmthand the not letting us to face any hardships what whatever she would shoot even though we couldn’t understand a single word she was still speak tirelessly many words our conversations one work one way conversation but she just just the way we look baby smile she would that were to the only comfort she has but she would constantly told conferencing constantly tell storiesand thenand not the mindand on hardships that she has brought us up in these ways that she doesn’t have any time to do spiritual things to do Mondayand things all of that she riskand put aside but the tirelessly not just one day or night so that she constant her whole life become totally busy just to give him to bring me up so how could possibly can we can we forget all the Titus title is word that our mother didst just to give us bothand itand it realized until as far as we could Kroll even though we could crawl that wasn’t enough though because she could she wouldn’t because we can call now she’s afraid that we may we may wonder off to those dangers placesand then stingsand therefore she would do she would not dare to part anywhere she would constantly keep an eyeand theand therefore make herself like a most dedicated’s most devoted companion terrorand the endand the one who loves theand the seizures she she she could not depart for us even for a moment so all of how they relate to saved wealth all property shouldand did you use junior high youth she may have to do do additional job more than two or three jobs over all those that is a savings that she didn’t day to spend she would buy everything that for our need for those clothes whether it’s a toys whether it’s us other necessities that we need for usand the whole body is constantly not losing strengthand energy to shapeand form what mention all the stress she would not remind us to the she would not mind to signifies any of that dispense to give to spell to us so that we we will not be the be called or hungry or thirsty or unattendedand and so on so all mother has has become basically oldand frailand and dependentand sometimes emotionally very depressedand tiredand sleepless but she still would not’s complaint are single word to us but she rather where all about those hardships willingly on on on ourselvesand theand the eventually she ourselves would have scored if some of us have for us all mother still alive then you would know she’s 20 3040 years older than you probably in a nursing homeand theand theand how much attention she did when she has become now helplessand oldand and the end themand lonelyand need company that how much of timeand companyand things are weand have been willing to do so that those of us who whose mothers’ just imagine she has completely partedand left everything behindand she had to go to the on net uncharted territory of next live in the bottles over having having to carry all the that she created on behalf of us just to bring us up to much physicaland emotional that she she would have she would have to go through all of that she she she herself was parted from this physical world but emotionally older that she has created to bring us up all she has to carry like a burden to to go to those difficult places placesand and spaces so what we doing about is is we need to remember all mother’s suffering mother sacrificesand mother’s kindnessand how much since our early days all mother’s physical bodyand how condition had deteriorated due to illness agingand later on by death that even when half of any precious body still wasn’t was a taken twos like symmetry or something you knowand andand all in those in the West because they they would put in a very shiny ball so you don’t see that in the in the traditional they were there would still a lot of take the body into symmetriesand a letter letter to be deposed to decompose all eaten by by bio Wawa animals like vulturesand so on because been out even if all sing all the has all the pieces of body become so strewnand taken away by means but there’s nothing she can do about that so that’s that’s that’s that’s our life so we have become rather like orphan who couldn’t do anything we we would we may we made love all mother but we do can do a thing in terms of risk to half from suffering of all digital signalsand yet we kindness when you think about it is safe is the truth of the responsibility fell on us which many of you will as a biological mother if you have been your self mother just of the same amount of physical care emotional careand the financial signifies you have made as a mother you your mother would have made same if not more some people may have some sad stories of not getting the same situation but but even that these cannot blame your mother your mother is a and how on stressand hardshipsand difficulty were largely due to having taken up the liberty to give all of that to to awes so therefore we should still remember my kind old mother my kind old mother thinking that my own kind old mother’s when she has to part when she has to about that from these life she doesn’t have any medics to take so much metal to take with us because of the all of the car and difficulties that she she she she she she went through are largely the note can be cannot be shared by you or shared with anyone else yet all the better that she created that are negative audit objects was largely her intention was just for the sake of all on alland all on being so therefore being able to think of mother is that in many send some of us would have no opportunity to to repair the kind his mother because she’s dead already others some of use if you have your mother is still alive it’s very important to going to consult with us part of the reason that you all she was still very negativeand miserable was because you have any consult with your mother if you have any consult your mother that is the part of the problem but you couldn’t really hold your your friendship with anyone else for very long is because you have is resentment to basically reflect everything as you did to to the mother to everyone elseand the certificate some goes with the father as well so those who consult with the veteransand the mother in particularand those who learn to be consult it’s never too late so so therefore today’s a good day to the two how to how to go to consult with your mother at least tell half of that you have you have you have come to the moon your own selfishnessand the not being so grateful I have not been very courteousand apologize halfand even apologize all for the sake of peaceand I’m not talking about a severe mother was a was was perfect but you didn’t see how that red doesn’t mean that your mother still was a human being every human being has has a lot of imperfect perfect characteristic as well as very good perfect a good characteristic so don’t try to idolize anybody’s mother anybody’s mother’s everybody every mother has has horn on opinion about how child as well so therefore the everybody every mother would be perceived differently accordingly those people who who have the goodness to to see the motherand hot amount of the graph hardshipsand signifies that all mother has enjoyed it should do we should grow up right nowand not’s not sit on this very awkward point of view oafs is smokingand reflecting to the motherand hard treatment oath towards oneself as being non acceptable disrespectful whatever it is but even then we should now to grow that life is so shortand let before she dies going to consultand say I’m sorry on I’ve grown to accept you a fix of you as you are rather than trying to make some negative comparison with others so therefore being able to remember all kind mothersand motherand see how much she’s passes become old become sickand become dependent of the committee sadand lonelyand put yourself in our shoesand try to therefore learn to repack kindnessand so his mother weptand even in the 7030 could not bear to to to stay in a mall but he promised to the visitand he did he visited half a member both of those mother in the have the heaven of that the roundsand then then Dave spent all this time giving teachings to half so what is it that you can do to to repair the kindness of mother himand Bullock could say you know my mother wasn’t there when I was young because she died a week beforeand after he was born so he had hardly known as a biological mother with this list onto your stepmother’s up to go to maintenance stepped in she did thisand it becomes a stepmother because she stepped in to take over the role of my undatedand and brought him upand so on even then brother was in the top of that deliberately took all the way time to go to the the Heaven of 33 roundsand spend the timeand give the teaching so hence we have this Buddhist festival cope with the descending from the heaven that’s is descending from heaven after having to spend time to repair the hot kindness in the know he could not repay kindness to his mother in the same life so you should not think it’s too late to repair the kind as her mother even say your some of your mother pasta way you can still goand do something because you read because we don’t know where your head hits of our mother is reborn but is possible that she is still wondering in some solderand and she has no no one to care for no one to remember how so therefore it your will never go astray if you as a as a as a child who has remember eyes orphaned by the mother’s absence even though we read helpless agreement we must still remember how kindness who all mother these how much older all weekand she might be in the systemand even though we want to go looking for hollow shucking when Buddha could see where he’s mother is we couldn’t not see how the could not call on themand she will hear so we are completely different vasectomy recording where the mother is couldn’t call a nameand where she went on since a but nevertheless we should still can do all memories I remember hot kindnessand see how helpless we are now but nevertheless feel indebted to to remember hot kindness when you remember some people’s kindness then you definitely feel grateful to gratitude that we are able to seal all will greatly so warm up loving feeling will come from all hotand you have a loving kind loving feeling towards all mother then you would no longer presentand develop brood it will all all all talk negative thing some people of you have seen that all the big window here Buddhist about you remember the kindness mother repair kind of thisand I forgot I remember of any kind is my my mother did become very very hostile to the whole idea that we have to be kind to her mother of course these are some people have that kind of karma of not having had any pleasant experience with’s mother and that is also to do with so therefore we do is we should picture the bed we should try to try to modify the by by remembering such as Mother’s Dayand tried to light a candle or remember kindnessand tried to bury your egoand try to be consult withand think of their great contribution inand get to the kind of that she bestowed upon us even though we do not have even though many loving motherand a son of a child’s will close our loving bell juju goalsand conditionedand no one has freedom to spend the time ever with the mother all this you have to go when you least want to go away from her mother she you go away from how she went away from your souls so therefore how much she but yet she gets almost like hot has been taken out of our love alive yet you know we we have left off motherand she has can’t see us say your mother is alive but she can see you because you are so busy you’re being successful or whatever but still what is success if you don’t have time for your mother to success is jeopardizing your well being so your material to weld is successful people don’t spend time with veterans old to seek all all on lonelyand then they leave it until last minuteand then they’ve been to have a lot of guilt of the colonial peoples depression is because they didn’t do that the right things to the parents to the mother while they need them why they most pertinent time to repack kindness when they seekand lonelyand old that time what is you your success means she can’t barely see you or spend quality time with how even when you spend time with our you don’t you you are you or you don’t do this Ted aspects to all speak courteously lovingly to the then then there is every reason for hard to be very upset so therefore we have to do to try to do the right thing to repair the kindness of parents while they are aliveand dead they are there one day you would be then when she’s died or what ever you would be depressed for a long time peoples depressionand anxietyand the volatility of the emotional instability the mind so emotionally we is because they haven’t really warmed up the heaven really done the real work will homework to do to to repair the kindness of one’s wedding loving mother them every single mother mother by nature biologically is kindand selfless in front of do a child enter not to remember that the kindness of all one’s mother is a great is a is of so therefore in Buddhist teaching emphasized motherand remembering the mother as the first practice not only the mother but see old singeing beings as mother not just from this life but from Paul’s life’s the difficulty that we have in certain people in the end in this lab is also buys lives mother’s beautiful witch with whom we have reconciled so therefore reconciling with all motherand and do not talk about how mistakes all hard wrongdoing but thinkable the sacrifice you made when you do that then you can see while someone else’s nobody will be able to do that like my mother did to me so therefore I should be able to have the goodness to forgive her even of hot mistakesand who hasn’t got mistakes in your sofasand also is a better window mother would have would have said if your sister for the same criticisms that you think about your mother what would you think say your son or daughter are all thinking having the same attitude as you have with your mother ones what would you think what you feel my children are so ungratefuland then she was completely it is same as your parent going through so the karma is very very escalating this off not reconciling with parents is very heavy it will really get you result it hasn’t got you up so that’s why the remembering the dryness of motherand and are doing something to her while she is alive make sure that your visit all the time that you spend is different than you really she really mixed to get to know that she have come to growand become strongand grown to become wiseand starting to really speak kindlyand lovingly to our small acts of kindness we should do a video visit to be very very sweetand short very very unimpeded by your normal behavioral reactionsand rebelliousness all over the child father tried to be very good consented to speak kindly thank how things give credit to offer all the things you areand you have actually that’s true your educationand knowledge just noise financial independence where you are in love you would be there have not been all the hard work you did your parents did in your life being able to thing these will make our students made us to grow in the heartand therefore have you will even when she dies all even in your old as you would never regret not having be consult the better you will feel all it was a long journey but in theand I’m so glad I be consult with my mother you always speak fondly of the mother might kind old mother you will speak to my Kino some people can’t even said so the mother my mother but is assimilated that the that they can’t even speak kind informed me the name of the mother so they don’t say my dear mother my kind old your mother they don’t it as they consider that they just they just have this only negativeand very vindictive identity is the associate that is a very heavy heavy and this will slowly not already what impact you all the behavioraland emotional problems if you have some emotional problems that rooted in that not not on the inability to do the conservative mother then it affected you with your husband over the wife all the gifts with whoever you are working with you always reflect them with that kind of resentment because that is what is is like a perpetuates negative perpetually negative things unnecessary guns of the positive if you create a positive to reconcile the negative was then slowly you will see the kind old mother even your own body your own nose you on our accent is exactly like your mother can see the how much of your bloodand your your muscleand your everything is the mother’s sweatand tears so therefore it’s very important to learn to repair the kindness to repay kindness constitute soon doing things lovingly speaking things respectfullyand feeling warm emotionand Mecca feel that youand us so therefore when you repair the kindness you usually do loving loving things you do generous things to do small things for hard on her own termsand don’t question about who is right is wrong what would she will do is make a happyand if she remembers you making a hot hippie few times before she pauses a way that is that’s going to be’s just so you knowand are feeling a remedy to all the problems in your self will also will it will latch to do the shift the amazing power of love part of kindness part of him even if you have referees in the Buddha for what doesn’t need you need you need your good hard to reconcile with your mother sent in a lots of people of all have a very warm feeling towards him but with their own home with her own mother over the only major familiesand most closes one that treating each otherand estranging each other with some resentment over small thingsand let that grow a huge problemand not even talking to each other for days years months this is the biggest problem in the mutualistic Western societies where they they don’t have the bond of loveand respect to the elderlyand barons for the hardship they have in Jordan that signifies the instant remembering them they remember few negative episodes in their life a childhoodand then lumber the bearand with that that is the true’s true origin of suffering so here the therefore her to to reconcile with that one needs to practice kindness generosity toleranceand compassion with all motherand even if your mother’s note around still you can start to check attitudeand change attitude about how not from negative to nonnegative from the negative to positiveand then from positive it’s very warmand and as a result of that you will you have ever feel indebted to your mother said you have a good husbandand maybe have a good wife all maybe a good job but where would you get those things without your mother has a heaven given breast fed you once you cleanse you just wanted to do for all those years until you are able to do your own thing how many years it took before you become grumbly independent who did all the hot lifting to to be where you are so not being able to remember the kindness of motherand barons is easy is a laudable obstacle to to your spiritualand emotional upliftmentand and contentment have just gone Denman in life you really bit unhappy in life show old people have some disheveled but much of them has completed folk will have stem have stemmed from your not reconciling with your mother so therefore remember your mother only once a year on Mother’s Day is of closes it is a is a really really really delicious at issue remember the mother every day every dayand every day we should to think of kindnessand compassionand all the contribution she has made to your lifeand all the speak kindly about howand a repair kindness of your mother to your mother did not try to do some other people who also mother of all to the elderly woman who doesn’t have children who doesn’t get much from them try to be kind to them as slowly much so how many mothers mothers have been misunderstood by the childrenand have been completely estranging the never get a they never get about that than it was a happy Mother’s Day it’s a really despicable so therefore it’s important to repair the kindness of our mother as best as one can watch if possible to hire while she’s alive to not at least someone who’s near his dears to her that tell how the day that you have a consult with halfand you totally forgive how apologize offand would never thinkand talk in the negative way that you normally do try to make up some shiftand change it into youand your attitude about how one how one one thing so once a mother because if you have change your thought about your mother then you will you will have the cessation of the suffering related with mother if you have a consult with your motherand make peace with hall make peace with all theand then you you you will you will be much kinder to yourselfand other mothers as well because otherwise there is is a business amazing kind of a home view that you continue to hold that the regarding your motherand you’re not therefore that’s that’s the true origin of your suffering is suffering is not because you have all of the problems who doesn’t but fundamentally not being able to having loving feeling towards your mother mother is is everyone’s soles of real joyand happinessand gratitude majority people’s also join happinessand gratitude is the motherand show your husbandand wife sure that you met them only when you’re going to do a whatever what but who brought it up to to be able to meet such a wonderful husbandand wife all job or whatever so be considerate of all where you all to be able to get what you are you where you figure someone is a wonderful new life but your mother isn’t you have not grown up at all so that’s why it’s very important to effectively utilize this Mother’s Day not only a look at your mother’s photoand the spent couple moments to in front of itand meditateand try to express your gratitude loveand and if the necessary forgivenessand the thing and if she’s alive give out a cold really do not wait anymore some of you have not called your mother you still think she’s wrong all you think it’s your fold either way it’s a waste of time but tried to kill the time by pick up the phone while he hold a whole holder phone or something like that in your life that you’re not reconciling with your mother so therefore the part of lovingkindness it tools your mother can make yourself doubly empowered to be able to consult with your mother with your mother so that’s why today’s talks is not only because his Mother’s Day but also I was thinking because this is of a soft week they suddenly according to Theravada Buddhist calendar which most Buddhists are terrifiedand in the country’s death celebrating they suckedand lost the tested is actually the full moon but some are still celebrating this weekand so therefore I was just reflecting on the Mother’s Dayand remembering about the Buddha’s life soand also today Okamoto Bliss are celebrating this out according to this calendar so it’s very good to remember on that ice I said I would try to try to respond to your comments or questions online so if I would just come up to here because I haven’t been able to do that in the past hello everyone a lot of you have joined the what British rider is my mother in this lie was not good mother did not show love is narcissisticand the now we are a strange area I’ve just spoken about Susie’s it’s a it’s in the mother that did that has been difficult to you the old half of physical suffering to bring you up to give birth to youand the amount of those time this should better than a half suffering was mainly many snowballed on top of not being whatever good mother we asked you but nevertheless she would have tried our best so do not to try to see her as someone who was meanand wasn’t really nice at all you may have seen that way because body you are selfish to not to remember how sector flies what she made this you tried to think of the what signifies she has made what you as a daughterand if you have become a mother yourself you will know how different you have been maybe you have been a remarkable motherand you you just resisted resenting that your mother wasn’t quite as good as you but how could you be such a good mother you have known to become good mother because her experience of not having had a good mother but that’s your your way of explaining to her to yourself but in theand through my your mother’s suffering of not being a good mother has actually given you the birth to be a strong woman to give good sort of love shows childhood to your childrenand theand us while you might still have something to consult with a but to you should not all do anymore speaking to her but all were said to speak to her quickly really take couple moments in your daily meditationand the visualizer mother look at a photoand say mom look I I have been presenting in exchange you from all these years this is not good for me all will all I’m I’m happy to comeand talk to youand try to make a really good contribution without further delay to to talk to herand phone all right a very nice messageand try to make peace with half because when you are able to do that then then the suffering that we have the suffering that we have to do with mother is because not because she has been scores of suffering to you but because so suffering of youand your mother is has turned you to meet with Obamaand look at the teachingsand try to turn to compassion so your suffering has become cause of your compassion so your mother sending beingsand overage your mother is the primary person is a great catalyst for you to become where you are now maybe have become much more kinderand compassionate not to be as aggressive all not got kind of notes generous as much as someone may have been but the but nevertheless it has it has taught you how to meet with the Dharmaand no longer waste anymore time we all empathize each other’s difficult. Welcome to be like a three podcast this episode is sponsored by the Clinton weekand Elder scrolls legends little after I sent my sponsor big Kelly area that does sound like I just a reminder which now number there we are also to get the pockets of their we are on spot if I went sound cloud keep that shit introducing our guest listen he’s my he’s frankly my favorite guest on this podcastand just their time on to joint privilege possible LOL thanks for coaxing thanks for having me again probably had in like you have your eye on the silencing elevate you not soirée your fall dealer that later I am the entourage’s been traveling the worldand its drinking Simon J it’s on the show that just shows adjusted to part two I like to consider the journey so the travels for the Bishop yeah this is the shows just happen you happen to be in Italy you like to do is I’m last I like that that the lab in the average out of the lot shit doneand it’s tiring I always think that touring looks so exhaustingand I look like shit now you a you on about I love that you just did the great thing is the use embrace your thinking that your who you are like you just fucking you just a guy that Gladys ago beautiful blue eyes I can send you are guide we cannot imagine that I’m really just a guy your eyes look like hamburger thank you so much love you more than just the icing guy with a couple hamburgers in his eyes can live but it is better since then you’ve just a little recap here but rockstar number one Billboard is still number one fuck me like two months Buffalo my mom’s been texting me every time explaining other play may hereand when you hear you monster met with my month to my mom got I could tell you a Muslim pit out of me I was super every time I go to friends as they like him on that when a guy that is mildly okay about the again nice to see a man momand a cigarette since last summer love our tradition just like trying to stop now I am I just not a smoker but I like to get where mild young women from you I like additionally their method or you big ideas for what it is a friendand because of its first live is is about the protocol on the lake got the Canon has to be that the negative booklets the first third have Marvin alliteration arriving not really come out to those candidates is a method think on that side of life in this pack will ship is billed as a backand had a like a camelbackand have a really a whole backlog at the top I talk about it yet so talking had to know when we first got on the street when this prop company building then we went out to Hollywood to fill in the moment put it on I swear got the 80 poundsand the moment put on all my fucking God how I can make it to this day I saw Dan come at the escalator to meet usand he was like holding it was this guy exaggerating how everything is I put it on other economic it to the state after five minutes the strap broke off our dates away is pretty dramaticand I went to go to like it was the height of the name LA while I was laying on the lawn that cheated you youand they know then yes that’s my by the way you should treat yourself yet I get I’m waiting I’m hoping honestly actually for us to go to Vegas I want to go aware that now that gets you really show me up the yeah I think I think Vegas is like my escape from the norm because I get to her fun stuff yeah I did have a time when I got I’m gonna buy a matching fit in with you I said if we rather have a kid red carpet event logo wearing matching Gucci checks it’s the super care he has a valid has a calendar the calendar that is forgiving as I’d say that story about I when I went like 95 grand you start with I think I have no case I was in Vegas like a nice anecdote I love now this is a niceand I’ve really added to this is great out from Vegas is a rare yeah yeah no it’s not nice Abby but it’s a great story of a nice story but it’s not nice items on because it is says shows a grandson of me I can do this I go in for the night using a like 15 grand ready go cash ready to playand so. Jesse Holmes of North Carolina pushing for years for anti gay restrictions in federal education law because the homosexuals are out to recruit in the schools in 1995 Congressman Pete Hoekstra’s committee convening hearings on parents schoolsand values hearings that impart investigated gas homosexual recruitment in the schools the proponents of proposition eight in California the proposition to rollback gay rights in that state making their case just last year as I fall down the slippery slope to make this argument Anita Bryant Jesse Helms random anti gay orator guy you make this argument they oppose gay people civil rights because the people are out to get them on facts like making the case were to save the children from the homosexuals who prey on them logical step to get the kids are going to protect the kids keep gays away from the kids keep gays from being declared normal protect people’s rights to fire people for being if they don’t work with them protect people’s right to pick something out of the housing for being if you don’t live near the children counteract the recruitment show homosexuality is wrong make homosexuality illegal sexuality have severe punishments severe punishment may be gay mind that is a logical fallacy the slippery slope if it really happens the arguments made by anti gay activists ultimately redound to serious legal proposals to kill people for being gay in October 2008 Uganda held its national prayer breakfast the national prayer breakfast is an event started by the family mostly known as the street here in the US powerful secretive religious organization in the US with ties to many members of Congress or the founders of Uganda’s national prayer breakfast a member of the familyand the idea of an event associated with that breakfast that you should have a gays law that homosexuality should be punishable by life in prison for the case of aggravated homosexuality should be punishable by death a few months later in March of last year’s the guy from the family who drafted the bill hosted a delegation of anti gay activists from the United States preachings of people are children right recruit in the schools also said nobody is stopped being a if they don’t want to be a learned behavior can be cured a few weeks after their visit to kill the case bill was introduced in while the anti gay populist pressand the country started campaigning this publication published a list of allegedly gay Ugandans along with in many cases their addressesand their photos is a small yellow banner underneath the word underneathand Uganda’s says because American connections to this the fact that the authors a member of the family which is tied a lot of American politicians thirsty streetand elsewhere because the result of publicity or criticism for the kill the case bill from our president’s secretary of state law to the politicians associated with the street is fairly widely believed because of the coverage of the Kelly gays thing is over it’s not its author expected to be voted on in a matter of weeks at its author is here in the United States promoting Anita Bryant’s old line that is only doing this to save the children the author of Uganda’s killed gays bill joins me at the bottom of the slippery slope next recently know basically anything about C St See Other related products: Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster

[iredreamer]

Thank you so much for your time and energy in bringing us information about Anne Lister's journals. I heard a clip by Whitbread in which she indicated that Anne Lister believed incurring a cross was a sin as well as having sex with another woman. My understanding is that AL believed god made her as she was and thus she felt no guilt about her sexual orientation (nor would I think masturbating about a woman) and I've not read she felt any guilt about her orientation. What say you?

hey, thank you so much for the nice message :) A while ago I found a very interesting analysis of the sentence “incurred a cross” used by Anne to indicate when she masturbated. You’ll find the link to the whole article after the quote (it’s an essay about concealing masturbation in diaries). I think it answers your question:

The symbol [”+” and “x”] and the terminology (“incurred a cross”) signify the quasi-religious and penitential meaning—she regularly prayed to God for the willpower to resist such sexual indulgences (Whitbread/Holme 2016, 45) [it looks like this information can be found in “Secret Diaries Past & Present” by Helena Whitbread and Natasha Holme which I personally haven’t read yet]

(…) the term “incurred” is telling; as if she regarded it as an injury or illness—a view with which the medical anti-masturbation discourse of her time clearly agrees. The quote “escaped from +” also suggests her negative opinion about masturbation. This can also be inferred from another entry. In an excerpt written in “crypthand,” Lister explicitly refers to onanism in a negative way. It is an account of a conversation with Miss Pickford, with whom Lister had a “strong, platonic friendship.” Lister tried to convince Miss Pickford that relationships with women were better than “onanism”: “This [onanism] is surely comparatively unpardonable. There is no mutual affection to excuse it” (Lister 2010, 296) [the journal entry in question is Tuesday 5 August 1823]. However, the tiny crosses in the margins of her diary seem to indicate that her condemnation of masturbation was more rhetoric than practise.

source: Tiny Symbols Tell Big Stories Naming and Concealing Masturbation in Diaries (1650–1940)

I am not an historian, and I’ve not read ALL Anne’s journal, but if you wanna know my opinion this is it: we should always keep in mind the context and the specific time period we are discussing when we are discussing something about Anne Lister, because people change with time. Are we discussing Anne Lister in 1820 or Anne Lister in 1830? Like everyone, Anne Lister changed and matured, and some of her opinions changed as well over time. There are many many occasions where AL writes that the way she acted, what she did and what she felt towards women was completely natural. For sure she grew more and more comfortable with her sexuality as she got older, I think that’s just a thing that happens and it’s natural and normal.

So, in short, yes, sure, I do think she probably felt some sort of “shame” or “guilt” when she masturbated, but that comes more from the fact that back then masturbation was considered a sin in general, regardless of sexuality, than anything else. Was it a serious thing? Did she actually feel guilty? From her behaviour and the fact that she didn’t put a stop to it, well, I don’t think so. And I also don’t think she seriously thought that having sex with a woman was a sin. She liked and enjoyed sex way too much. She wanted to have sex with other women. She never tried to avoid it. She enjoyed courting and seducing the women she liked, she enjoyed sex with them and then she wrote about how good (or bad) it was… I mean, lol.

[txnysheart]

let’s get on with living (while we can) [7]

chapter 7: i intend to hold you for the longest time

word count: 6815

warnings: chemo, chemo side effects, homophobia

summary: the press start speculating about steve and tony’s absence from the public, peter goes through his second round of chemo, and there’s a press conference

read on ao3: x

playlist: x

chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 3 - chapter 4 - chapter 5 - chapter 6 - chapter 7 - chapter 8 - chapter 9

series masterlist | masterlist

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ARE THE SUPERHERO HUSBANDS RETIRING? - Originally Posted on 29 Oct 2017, at 19:57

Sierra Nelson BuzzFeed Staff - Tony and Steve Stark-Rogers not making any public appearances for the past three and a half weeks has, understandably, started a flow of rumors. Avid fans have theorized everything from holidays to assassinations. However, the most popular theory is that this is the end of their careers as superheroes and the beginning of a comfortable retirement.

Tony is over halfway through his forties - I know, we can’t believe it either - and Steve will be an entire century old next year. The superhero business is a very dangerous and taxing one, so it would be understandable that they’d want to quit now, after all these years of risking their lives to keep civilians safe.

As much as they’ve earned a it, saving the world and whatnot, there are a few things that just don’t add up with the retirement theory.

First of all, they haven’t made any public statements about it. They were not part of the fight that took place right outside New York City two days ago. Only Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes, James Rhodes and Sam Wilson were present. People were, and still are, expecting an explanation as to why neither Tony or Steve Stark-Rogers were on the scene, but so far; nothing.

Another point that has been made is that their teenage son, Peter Stark-Rogers, has also been absent from the public for just as long as his parents. While not much is known about the boy, we all know seeing him out with his dads, or other Avengers, is a common occurrence, as well as seeing him outside the tower as he heads to and returns from school. This has led some to believe that they could have moved to a more remote city no one has figured out where is yet, since Peter would obviously have to attend school somewhere.

Something many have suggested is that this is nothing more than a successful attempt at a secret vacation. After the incident two years ago where the paparazzi figured out the address of their holiday home in Malibu, it would make perfect sense for them to do their best to keep their travel plans private. No one will ever forget the iconic video of the couple telling the paparazzi off rather aggressively. Rightfully so, as they had snuck into the backyard, spooking their then 14-year old son who had been out there by himself.

So, the questions are many. Have we seen the last of Iron Man and Captain America in action? Are they on vacation? Are they just keeping a low profile? Or is something else going on?

Peter had just been scrolling on his phone, but handed it over to Tony when he saw the article. Tony held the phone in his left hand - he’d finally gotten the cast off the previous day.

“What’s wrong?” Natasha asked suspiciously as she eyed Tony’s skeptical expression.

“Press is speculating about why Steve and I haven’t been seen in public for a while,” he sighed, handing the phone over to Steve.

“What’s it say?” Sam asked, leaning forward. Everyone else was listening now too.

Bucky, Natasha, Sam, Pepper, Rhodey and Happy were all spending the day with Peter, Tony and Steve, seeing as the second round of chemo would begin the next day. They often popped in for short visits, but Steve had invited everyone over for dinner to take Peter’s mind off of things. By things, he really meant chemo.

“Just theories about why no one’s seen us. Looks like it’s tied between retirement and secret vacation,” Tony told them.

“Secret vacation would make sense, though. I mean, after what happened in Malibu,” Rhodey commented.

“A repeat of that, and I might actually kill the paparazzi this time,” Tony muttered, not forgetting how much they’d scared Peter anytime soon.

“That makes two of us,” Steve agreed with raised eyebrows and slightly tense body language.

“Yeah, that was… not fun,” the boy agreed, a tad bit uncomfortable thinking back to the event, and adjusted his beanie. He was rarely seen without it now.

“Quite the understatement, kid,” Steve commented when he gave him his phone back.

“Can I see that, Peter?” Pepper asked, already planning out an approach to this in her head. “Thanks,” she smiled when he gave her the phone. Reading over the article swiftly, she soon handed it back, and straightened up, suddenly looking very professional.

“Alright, what we need to do is to make some sort of public announcement, or they’ll just keep on speculating. I’m thinking a small press conference where I choose who get to be there so we know that whoever’s there are serious reporters. No tabloids, no people who’ve written or spoken negatively about you before, etcetera,” she suggested, but knew everyone would agree.

“You’re the expert when it comes to this. Sounds very good, Pep,” Tony approved.

“But what do we tell them? How specific are we?” Steve asked to clarify.

“We don’t lie, but they don’t need all the details,” she continued, and then made eye contact with Peter. “And you’re old enough to be part of deciding how much you want the press knowing. If you want them to know what’s going on with you, that’s okay, but we could also just tell them that there’s a personal emergency. They don’t need to know everything right now.”

“Yeah… Yeah, that last option sounds good,” Peter decided hesitantly. Pepper knew that they’d eventually have to come clean about what was happening, but didn’t say it out loud.

“Who’s gonna be holding the press conference?” Bucky asked. He was leaning back in the couch, arms crossed. Natasha was sitting next to him, cross legged, one knee resting on his thigh.

“Would you two do it?” Pepper asked Tony and Steve, who both nodded.

“Definitely,” Steve confirmed, then looking down at a tense Peter next to him. “You don’t have to be there,” he assured him.

“Good,” he breathed out, not at all fond of crowds. Especially not ones where he would be the center of attention.

“I’ll arrange it for Tuesday,” Pepper said, looking around the room to see if anyone disagreed. Tony shook his head.

“That would be great, but… chemo’s Monday through Wednesday. We can’t leave Peter.” The boy squirmed at his Dad’s words, feeling like a bother.

“Oh, god. Sorry. I- Sorry, it completely slipped my mind for a second,” Pepper apologized, realizing she’d gone full work mode and forgotten about the actual nature of the situation.

“Thursday could work,” Steve suggested. “If someone could look after Pete while we’re gone.”

“I’m not a baby,” Peter protested lazily.

“No, but you’re not gonna be feeling well,” Tony told him, even though he knew Peter knew.

“Right.” He looked uncomfortable at the thought. He’d rather forget about it for as long as he could.

“We’re watching the press conference together, obviously, so we’ll all be here with him,” Natasha said, as if stating the obvious.

Peter was relieved, but also a bit reluctant to let them see him at his worst. Even if it would only be for an hour or so, it could turn out to be just when he’s puking his insides out. He wasn’t keen on anyone having to be there for that.

“Good. Good, thank you,” Tony smiled. How he’d ended up with such great friends, he’d never understand. Natasha sent him a half smile, a little put off by the way he was acting. The snarky, sarcastic Tony had faded away rapidly the past few weeks, and the change was kind of unnerving. She’d kill for a ‘thank you’ packed into a joke at her expense. There’d never been any doubt that Tony cared about his family and friends more than anything. But he’d always shown it in his own distinct way. Not like this.

“Sure. Anytime.”

────────

“You’ve lost some weight, Peter,” Doctor Anne Reynolds said, her face expressing gentle concern when he stepped off the scale. Before each round of chemotherapy, he had to go through a few standard tests; a scan of his lungs, a physical examination, and a weighing.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Peter said sheepishly.

“It’s alright, I know it’s difficult to eat. What kind of foods have you had?”

“Uhm, it- it hasn’t been very varied,” he chuckled. “I’ve had a lot of smoothies and milkshakes. And pancakes and, uh… soggy corn flakes.”

“You’d be surprised how many people’s go-to food is soggy cereal,” Anne smiled reassuringly, writing down what he told her. “Well, everything is set. I’ll give you more antinausea drugs this time, that sound good?”

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”

After a last minute trip to the toilet, he settled in the same comfortable chair he sat in last time. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t like this part,” Anne apologized when she saw Peter squeezing his eyes shut at the sight of the IV. “You’re lucky you’ve got good veins, so I don’t have to stab you five times to get it right.” That got a slight laugh out of the boy. “There. All done!”

He relaxed his tense body, leaning back in the chair. “Bring on the drugs,” he smirked playfully, trying to hide how nervous he was. The first time he’d been scared because it was all new. He didn’t know what to expect, other than it being not nice. This time he was scared because he knew what it’d be like: very not nice. Maybe even less nice than last time.

With even more antinausea medication than the first time, he became really drowsy, curling up into a ball. Steve and Tony spoke softly to him, and by the time he was switched over to the chemo drugs, he was half asleep. He fell asleep shortly after, and was only really awake to drink water. When awake, he recognized the warm sensation murmuring in his body that Anne had explained was completely normal, and nothing to worry about. It was constant, almost buzzing, and even though he’d describe it as warm, he still felt cold. He was wrapped up in a thick duvet, and was, as always nowadays, wearing his beanie.

It was Steve who woke him up when it was time to move to the bedroom. He blinked tiredly up at him. God, he looked so young. “We’re just gonna move to bed, and then you can go back to sleep,” he explained, putting an arm behind his back to gently push him to sit up properly. “And Dad has pills for you that’s gonna help even more with the nausea later.”

“Mhm,” Peter acknowledged, stretching his legs out; they were pretty stiff after being curled up for hours.

“You good to walk?” Steve asked just to be sure.

“Mhm. Yeah, I’m good,” he yawned as he planted his sock-clad feet on the ground. “Where’s Dad?”

“In the bedroom,” Steve told him with a smile. Peter was adorable when he was tired. Shuffling his feet, he eventually made it there, Tony ready by the bed to tuck him in.

“You just go back to sleep,” Tony whispered, making sure the boy was comfortable, and kissed his forehead. With closed eyes, Peter reached one hand up to pull his beanie off, dropping it next to his pillow before dozing off.

Biting his cheek, Tony held back tears with a slight grimace on his face. It was so obvious - too obvious - now how sick Peter was, and he hated thinking about it so much. He absolutely despised it. Still, he couldn’t stop looking at him. His son. His only son. Probably the only child he’d ever have. And that was more than enough - he didn’t need anyone else. Peter was all he wanted. All he could ever wish for, and so much more.

I won’t ask why, he reminded himself.

“You okay?” Steve asked quietly, observing his husband. Tony shook his head.

“No.”

“Me neither.” Steve tugged at his hand, making him turn around so he could see his face properly. He didn’t like the hazy look in his eyes. “Don’t go,” he pleaded, voice so full of emotion, yet so quiet. His fingers danced over Tony’s cheekbone.

“I won’t. I’m right here.” Even though he was whispering, it was clear that he was sincere. And determined not to dissociate again. Steve was too, and brought him to their bed in the same room. None of them planned on sleeping - Peter could wake up at any given time - but Steve just wanted to hold him. To keep him firmly grounded. Tony let him; letting his husband dominate his senses. They breathed.

Steve hummed a melody Tony only recognized because he’d hummed it to him before. A part of him wanted to ask him what song it was, but he didn’t. If he did, it wouldn’t be special anymore.

The lights were dimmed - dark enough for Peter to sleep undisturbed, but bright enough for his dads to be able to see him. They were both faced towards him, Steve spooning Tony, holding him tightly.

“When he was little, I used to just watch him sleep. I… I didn’t sleep much, so I’d just sit and watch him,” Tony mumbled, eyes never leaving Peter. The way he let his sentence hang in the air told Steve that he wasn’t done talking. He just needed to organize his thoughts. “Always made him look even younger than he is,” he settled on.

“Mhm. Looks like a baby when he sleeps. Even now.” His voice was slightly muffled by Tony’s hair, and he used the opportunity to place a couple of kisses to the back of his husband’s head. Tony reciprocated by bringing Steve’s hand that was resting on his stomach to his lips, leaving feathery kisses on his knuckles, then cradling said hand to his chest.

How much time had passed when a noise from Peter caught their attention, they weren’t sure of, but they were up right away to see if something was wrong. By the time they reached his bedside, he was sitting up.

“Are you gonna be sick?” Steve asked, a hand on his shoulder. The boy’s face scrunched up.

“Not sure. Probably,” he mumbled. His face paled. “Yeah. Definitely.”

Tony grabbed the plastic bucket from right next to the bed, bringing it up to hold under Peter’s chin just in time. As he threw up, tears rolled down his face, and he sobbed whenever he got a break, which in turn had him panicking because he couldn’t catch his breath.

“You gotta breathe, sweetheart,” Steve coaxed when Peter’s throwing up paused for a little while. His breath hitched, making him cough, but he got a good, albeit shaky, deep breath, and it calmed him down a little; stopped his crying. Another deep breath, and then he was heaving into the bucket again, his stomach nearly empty, and then there was only bile coming up. It burned in Peter’s throat.

When nothing was left, Peter was still dry heaving, unable to stop his stomach from spasming, and he was crying again. He absolutely despised that part. It went on for at least a minute, and then he was breathing heavily, feeling exhausted. “I’m done,” he sighed, letting himself be pulled into Steve’s side while Tony went to clean the bucket.

“Honey, will you get him his toothbrush?” Steve called out.

“Sure thing,” Tony confirmed, flushing the contents of the bucket down the toilet.

“How’re you feeling?” Steve asked Peter, voice low and comforting.

“‘m okay. Really tired,” Peter mumbled into his chest, and it was just something about the way that he was slumped against him that made him tighten his grip around the boy and take hold of his legs to carefully hoist him into his lap. “Not a baby,” Peter attempted to protest, but the way he relaxed in his Pops’ arms betrayed his words. His face was pressed into Steve’s shoulder, and Steve was drawing slow circles on his back.

The endearing scene made Tony swoon when he came back into the room with the - now clean - bucket and Peter’s toothbrush.

Not even two minutes later, Peter was tucked back in, having brushed the acidic taste in his mouth away, and he’d swallowed an antinausea pill which he was begging would work.

When he’d dozed off again, the dads were still at his bedside, and Tony lifted his hand up hesitantly. He drew it back, letting it linger in the air. He almost put it back down in his lap, but decided against it, bringing it to Peter’s head.

Ever since they’d shaved his head, Peter hadn’t let anyone touch it, and always wore a beanie in the day. But the way he leaned into the touch even in his sleep, had Tony and Steve smiling. Tony lightly drew figures with his fingers, consumed by the way his son reacted to it; the same way he always had.

The usual feel of his soft curls was gone, and it felt a little strange to caress his son’s bald head, but he still adored it. Anything that’d make Peter feel better, Tony would do, and that was no secret. Steve would too, and was just as captivated at the scene in front of him as his husband.

Quietly scooching his chair closer to Tony’s, he latched onto the arm that wasn’t occupied with Peter, resting his head on Tony’s shoulder.

“Tired, honey?” Tony whispered, turning his head to look down at his husband.

“Doesn’t matter,” he mumbled with a smile, meeting Tony’s eyes for a couple of seconds before looking back down at Peter, content to just sit there watching him. “Love you, Tony,” he whispered.

“Sap,” Tony smirked, but still placed a kiss to the side of his head.

“Sure,” Steve laughed softly, tightening his grip on Tony’s arm a little.

────────

There was a knock on their bedroom door fairly early in the morning. Being the least groggy of the three, Steve got up and opened the door.

“Morning, Doctor. Everything alright?” he smiled politely at Anne who was holding a plastic bag.

“Oh, yeah, all good. I brought something for Peter. Is it okay if I come in for a bit?” she asked cheerily.

“Sure, of course. Pete just woke up.” Steve stepped aside, opening the door wider to let Anne into their room. She always had a smile on her face, and it was contagious.

“Good morning,” Tony greeted her from the chair next to Peter’s bed.

“Hey, Anne,” sounded the boy, giving her a wave. He was sitting up in bed, messing around with his phone.

“Sleep well?” she asked, sitting down in a chair on the other side of the bed. Steve sat down next to Tony.

“Yeah, pretty well. Only woke up a couple times, and fell right back to sleep,” Peter confirmed, pleased with at least feeling rested.

“Threw up?”

“Yeah,” Peter grimaced, “but it’s fine. Less than last time.”

“Well, good. ‘Cause I brought you something.

“Oh?”

“Mhm. You said you hadn’t been eating very varied, right?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, curious as to what she’d brought.

“So, I brought some other foods I think you might like.” The plastic bag she had put down by her feet rustled as she picked it up to put on her lap. “Get that overbed table, would you?” she asked Tony. It was right next to him, against the wall, so he was able to grab it without getting up, wheeling it so it was over Peter’s lap. “Thank you, Tony.” Both men had insisted on being called by their first name, just as Anne had.

First thing she put on the table was a small lidded plastic bowl of fruit salad. “I just brought small samples of everything, ‘cause I’m pretty sure you won’t like even half of it,” she chuckled. “But I think this is a great way to figure out more things you can eat so you don’t grow tired of the same things over and over again.

“Soggy corn flakes is getting a little boring,” Peter admitted.

“Good! Means you’re open to trying some new foods. This fruit salad doesn’t have anything with really strong flavors. Just bananas, pears, watermelon, honeydew and, uh, dragon fruit actually! Looks really exciting, but doesn’t taste much.”

“That sounds good, actually,” the boy smiled, taking the lid off the bowl to taste.

“You don’t have to taste it all now, I’ve got a few more options I’m gonna leave here for you, so no rush,” she explained, receiving a nod from Peter who took an experimental bite of watermelon. All three adults were very pleased when he gave a thumbs up.

“Next up is chicken,” Anne announced, pulling up a rectangle plastic box. “Skinless and boneless, and,” she pulled up another box, “you can have mashed potatoes with it.”

Peter nodded fairly enthusiastically, not even noticing the fact that he’d eaten five entire pieces of fruit. Steve and Tony looked excited at their son eating, and were so very grateful to have a doctor who truly cared about Peter.

“And then the less exciting counterpart to what you’re eating right now.” Another box was placed on the overbed table. “Normal salad. But, you might be surprised, this treatment can change up your tastebuds, so maybe you’ll love it!”

She proceeded to pull up a plain sandwich, applesauce, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, and even some mints and hard candy. “It can help with nausea,” she explained, sending a sneaky wink in Peter’s direction.

“You’ve got an entire buffet here, kid,” Tony chuckled, looking at all the different foods on the table. “Thank you so much, Anne,” he said sincerely, gratefulness gleaming in his eyes.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she waved away, getting up from the chair. “I’ll get going, but I’ll see you guys in a few hours. Don’t eat it all at once, Peter,” she joked, and walked to the door. Peter laughed, waving at her before she closed the door behind her.

“You really liked that fruit salad, huh?” Steve asked, surprised, but happy to see that there was only one piece of fruit left. It wasn’t a big portion by any means, but Peter evidently enjoyed it.

“Yeah, guess I did,” Peter agreed, just as surprised as Steve when he realized the piece of dragon fruit he just picked up was the last one. He popped it in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed before speaking again. “Don’t think I wanna try anything more right now, though. Can we put it away for later?”

“Sure, I’ll go put it in the fridge,” Tony said, stacking up the boxes so they’d be easy to carry.

While Tony was out of the room, Steve noticed the way Peter kept wringing his hands together quite harshly. “You okay, Petey?” he asked, and Peter looked confused when he met his eyes.

“What?” Steve gestured to his hands. “Oh, my hands just hurt a little.”

“Want me to massage them?”

“Could you?” Peter almost sounded desperate, and Steve furrowed his brows.

“Of course,” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. And, to him, it was. Peter held out his hands, and Steve took hold of his right one first, kneading it gently. The boy sighed with relief at the feeling, visibly relaxing back into the bed that kept him sitting up. His eyes were closed, and the corner of his lips were curled upwards in a barely-there smile.

Getting back from his trip to the nearby kitchen, Tony looked on from the door for a few seconds, a little lost in how content Peter looked before Steve beckoned him over. “Sit on the other side of him,” he told his husband, and Tony did so. “His hands hurt,” he explained, lifting Peter’s hand up to show Tony he was massaging it.

“Mhm,” Peter confirmed sleepily, and Tony laughed fondly as he reached for his son’s other hand. Both men were happy to keep massaging his hands until they had to get ready for the chemo session of the day.

They’d do anything for him.

────────

Come Wednesday evening, and Peter was back to being absolutely worn out. Him feeling so well at the beginning of the second round on chemo had only been false hope. He’d barely been able to sleep, his bones and muscles had ached, and he’d thrown up a lot. But, he’d become quite fond of fruit, and ate quite a bit of that, to everyone’s relief.

When Tony had gotten the wheelchair from the corner of the bedroom, Peter hadn’t even protested. He just slumped down in it, feeling faint. Tony pushed him about ten feet before Peter shifted uncomfortably. “Wait. Wait, I’m gonna be sick,” he warned, sitting up straighter, and Steve was thankfully able to get the plastic bucket in time. Bags forgotten on the floor, Steve kneeled in front of Peter, while Tony tried soothing him with soft words and comforting touches to the back of his neck.

Leaning back, Peter was out of breath. “Done,” he sighed. “Sorry.”

“I’m about to ban that word, Pete,” Tony smirked, a hand on Peter’s cheek, and was delighted to be rewarded with a laugh. He dried away the tears on Peter’s face, and kissed his forehead.

“That was quick,” Tony commented when Steve was back by his side. He’d gone to rinse the bucket and put it back.

“Met one of the really nice nurses, uh… what’s his name? Tall, with that tattoo.”

“Oh! Uhm, Leonard?”

“That’s it! Yeah, he insisted on taking care of it so I could get back to you guys.”

“Well, that’s very nice of him,” Tony smiled as Steve picked their bags up from the floor. “You know, I could take one of them,” he offered, pushing Peter along, who was half asleep.

“Nonsense. What’s the point of having super strength if I can’t carry all the bags?”

“You’re right. That’s the sole purpose of the serum, obviously.”

“Yeah, you dum-dum.”

“My favorite insult,” Tony snickered. “So clever, babe.”

“You’re the brains. I’m just here for brawn.” Steve was barely containing his laughter, and Tony shook his head as he chuckled.

“So you’re saying you’re the dum-dum?”

“I’ll take it; that’s my own fault for making it too easy.”

“You’re both dum-dums,” Peter mumbled, eliciting surprised laughter from his dads, and earning himself a playful flick to the ear from Tony.

“I suppose we are,” Steve sighed, big smile on his face.

────────

With Tony and Steve having just left for the press conference, Peter was sitting on the couch next to Rhodey, leaning his head on his shoulder. One look at the tired the boy had Rhodey lifting his arm to let Peter rest against his side instead. It was a familiar feeling. Peter had always been a cuddle-bug with the people closest to him, and Rhodey had always been one of those people.

Natasha sat down on the other side of Peter, a bowl full of pieces of fruit in her hand for Peter. He hadn’t had much to eat that day, so Steve and Tony had encouraged them to feed him while they were gone. They even left a list of foods Peter liked, which now consisted of soggy cornflakes, smoothies, milkshakes, pancakes, fruit without too much taste, scrambled eggs, and chicken.

“If you need anything, or if you don’t feel good, you let us know, okay?” Rhodey said, lightly squeezing Peter’s upper arm.

“I’m good for now. But, uh… I should probably have a bucket here in case I need to throw up,” Peter told him, a little embarrassed at the last part, but no one else minded. “There’s one in my room.”

“I’ll go get it,” Bucky offered, getting up from next to Natasha, discreetly caressing her hair as he walked past her. The corners of her mouth lifted at the gesture, and she let her eyes follow him until he was out of the room.

Sam emerged from the kitchen with two smoothies; one for Peter and one for himself. “Here you go, kiddo,” he said, holding one out for Peter, but Rhodey reached out and got it instead. “You better not steal it from him,” Sam teased, and Rhodey put his hands up in a show of innocence when he’d passed it to Peter. He sat down in a lounge chair close to the couch.

When Bucky got back, he put the bucket next to couch, within reach from his place next to Natasha. She mumbled something in Russian that made him smile, and his response had her rolling her eyes fondly.

────────

“And you’re sure you’ve got this?” Pepper asked Tony for the third time.

“Yes, Pep, I’m sure. Don’t worry. Really.”

“Can’t help it. You’ve got quite the history with press conferences,” Pepper smirked, and got a small chuckle from Steve who was adjusting his tie.

“True, but this is about Peter.”

“I know. You two are gonna do great,” she smiled. “I’ll go and introduce you.”

Just as Pepper had said, it was a pretty exclusive press conference, with no more than twenty reporters in the room. Some were with newspapers, while others were with TV channels, so there were a few cameras there ready to capture the event. It was being held in a room in the compound that’d been used for press conferences on several occasions; perfect for it with a stage for everyone to be able to see them.

“Do I look okay?” Steve asked, wanting his husband’s approval before they went on national television.

“Perfect,” he smiled, running one hand down Steve’s chest to straighten his tie. And also just because he could. “Do I?”

“‘Course you do.”

A short kiss was shared before they turned their attention to Pepper, who soon waved them out on stage. “Good luck,” she whispered when she passed them.

They’d planned for Tony to open, so he stood in front of the microphone, leaning his forearms on the podium.

“Thank you, Pepper. Well, as you all know, we’ve been out of the public for a few weeks now. And, no, we haven’t been on holiday. Nor have we been abducted by aliens, or assassinated by the Illuminati,” he joked to set the mood to a light one. “And we’re not retiring either.” When he said that, his breath caught in his throat just a little. He hadn’t given it any thought. The world just might’ve seen the last of Iron Man and Captain America. For them to come back after all this, there’d have to be a miracle.

“But, as of right now, because of a personal emergency, it’s not possible for us to take part in usual Avengers business, or leave the Compound.” Tony took a step to the side to let Steve take over.

“While we’re dealing with this, we can assure you that the safety of the public is in good hands. As you all saw last week, they can manage better than fine without us.” He looked to Tony, wondering if he should say anything more, but he just shrugged. Steve nodded towards the reporters, a silent question of whether they should just open for questions now. Tony approved with his own nod, so Steve addressed them again.

“Any questions?”

A bunch of hands shot up, and Tony picked one out randomly. “You, with the blue and white tie. On the left.”

The man stood up. “Can you tell us who this emergency is about?” he asked.

“Not at the moment, no, just that it’s someone close to us” Steve answered. Short and to the point.

The next reporter was chosen. “How much longer will you be confined to the Compound?”

“We’re not sure. It’ll probably be a good while.”

Another reporter. "Is there a reason you've specifically chosen the Compound?"

"This place has its perks. We also thought it was best to get out of the city."

They kept asking questions, politely attempting to get more information out of them, but with Steve in charge of answering their questions, they got nothing else than the exact amount of information they’d agreed on sharing for now.

In a very out-of-character way - at least to the press - Tony stood to the side in courteous silence. However, one particular question had him taking over the microphone without hesitation.

“There have been rumors that you’ve put your son into the foster care system, is this true?”

“Absolutely not,” he denied firmly, but didn’t want to let him keep the attention, so he looked through the room to pick out the next one, but the same reporter kept talking.

“Wouldn’t that be for the best, though? I mean, with your lifestyles…” he trailed off, gesturing to them, and the room started murmuring.

From the tone of the question, Tony and Steve both had a feeling that he wasn’t talking about them risking their lives on the job, and the smaller man swallowed thickly before speaking into the microphone again. “Because we‘re Avengers?” he still asked, with a disapproving frown and tight jaw, hands clenching down on the podium until his knuckles turned white.

“No, no, it’s just,” he chuckled, but no one else at all were amused, “don’t you think he should get to grow up in a proper family?”

With ice cold eyes, Tony stared at him, doing his best to stay calm. “We are a proper family. I’m not gonna waste my time trying to get through your thick homophobic skull, so just get out.”

“What? Oh, come on-”

“I’m not joking. Leave of your own volition or I’ll have someone remove you.”

He muttered something to himself, a certain slur starting with an ‘f’, as he turned to pack his stuff up, but didn’t take Steve’s enhanced senses into account which were laser-focused on him. The soldier’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief of what he’d just heard that man refer to his husband as.

“Hey!” he called out, away from the microphone, but voice loud enough to carry across the room, catching his attention again. “Don’t you dare call my husband that. Don’t call anyone that,” he warned. "I don't think you understand how offensive that word is." He had a protective hand on Tony’s back who looked slightly confused. Steve cleared his throat, pulling himself together before calmly speaking to the crowd through the microphone. “I think we’ve answered enough questions for today. Thank you all for coming and being so polite. I apologize. Please respect our privacy and don’t speculate any further about our public absence.” He led Tony off the stage to where Pepper was anxiously waiting for them.

“Did he call him… you know-” she began, but refused to say the actual word.

“Yeah,” Steve confirmed, disgust clear in his voice.

“I’m really sorry. This is my fault, I let them send him instead of the person I requested, I’m so sorry-” she rambled, distraught at what had just happened.

“You couldn’t have known,” Tony cut her off, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “The only one here who’s done anything wrong is that nimrod. Not you.”

She sighed, sending them a smile that didn’t really reach her eyes before excusing herself when someone called her over.

Tony held Steve’s hand and looked up at him. “You didn’t have to do that, babe. I didn't even hear it. And I’ve been called worse,” he mumbled, just loud enough for Steve to hear. The look he had in his eyes was one reserved for his husband and no one else.

The words Tony thought would make the situation better only made Steve’s face crumple in disapproval. Not of Tony, but of anyone who’d ever made him feel like that. “That doesn’t make it better. It just makes me feel sure that calling him out was the right thing to do.” He made circles on the back of Tony’s hand with his thumb, lost in his eyes for what seemed like the millionth time. “I’ll always stand up for you.”

“I love you,” Tony whispered, squeezing his hand.

“I love you too.” Steve kissed his forehead.

With them in the room were a few people working, hurrying around, directed by Pepper; none of them really having time to notice the pair’s intimate moment at the edge of the room.

“Let’s get back to Peter,” Steve smiled, pulling Tony by his hand with him to the elevator.

Once the doors closed and they were by themselves, Tony placed his hands on Steve’s chest, and lifted himself up on his toes to whisper into his ear. “That was really hot.” A kiss to his neck and he got back down to his regular height, smirking up at Steve who was sporting an open-mouthed, lopsided smile along with wide, delighted eyes.

He collected himself, walking forward until Tony was trapped between him and the elevator wall. “Yeah?” he asked, voice low and gravelly, pressed up against him; now he was the smug one. Tony might pretend to be offended whenever Steve pointed out how much smaller he was than him, but Steve was very well aware of the fact that Tony actually enjoyed the size difference. A lot.

“Mhm. Now kiss me, we’re only going a few floors up,” a flustered Tony spluttered out, pulling him down before he could say anything more. They fit together as perfectly as ever, and the kissing grew heated within seconds. Hands exploring known territory, soft sounds of approval being swallowed by each other, and then they were startled apart by the ding announcing that they’d reached their floor.

Composing themselves, they felt like teenagers as they walked out of the elevator, heading for their apartment where they knew Peter was waiting along with everyone else. Except Pepper who was still working on getting everything back to normal at the compound after the press conference, and Happy who was doing his job as head of security. Just outside the front door, Steve pulled him in for another kiss, cradling his neck, one arm around his waist. Tony melted into him, and stayed glued to his side even after they pulled away.

Upon opening the door, they could hear everyone talking, and when Peter laughed, it was like nothing else mattered. They just wanted to see him happy.

And he was. His back leaning against Rhodey’s side, the man’s arm resting across his chest, and feet on Natasha’s lap, he was tiredly grinning. Everyone was happy.

Peter noticed that they’d gotten back and his smile got impossibly more radiant.

“Hey, Petey-pie,” Tony laughed softly as he walked over to Peter to place a kiss on the top of his head - well, the beanie.

“Hi, Dad. You guys were great.” He paused as if he suddenly remembered something. “But that guy was such a dick-”

“Oi!”

“-like what does he think this is? The nineteenth century? I’m so tired of people like him spewing bullshit like that. Like what- what does he even get out of it? It's not like-”

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay, Pete,” Steve cut him off, kneeling in front of him, before he could work himself up about it. He always did when someone insulted his dads purely based on the fact that they happened to be not straight. “There’s always gonna be people like him. And that’s okay, because we know that he’s wrong. The only reason I got so mad was because of what he called Dad. You're smart, so I assume you’ve figured out what it was?”

“Yeah,” the boy whispered.

“You gotta pick your battles. And, for me, this was one of the ones worth picking. That word just… It stings a lot more than other words. Okay?”

Peter nodded, feeling a little bummed out thanks to that reporter, but Rhodey was there and he was ready to make it better.

“One thing’s for certain, Pete; you sure do have two badass dads,” Rhodey smiled. He looked up at Tony from where he was still confined to the couch by Peter resting against him. They shared a look, one with decades of friendship contained in it. Just a slight lift of one eyebrow, and Tony knew Rhodey was asking him if he was okay. He answered with a crooked smirk.

Peter ended up being carried to bed by Tony after he’d fallen asleep on Rhodey. Making sure he was comfortable, Tony then pulled his beanie off, having gathered that he liked sleeping without it. Steve looked on from where he was sitting on the end of the bed, hand protectively resting over Peter’s legs.

“We need sleep too, you know,” Steve whispered when it looked like Tony was about to grab Peter’s desk chair to settle down in it for the night. Tony paused.

“Yeah,” he admitted, slouching a little, not caring about keeping up appearances for his husband.

He followed Steve voluntarily to their bedroom, intertwining their hands on the way.

Once tucked into bed, Steve stayed awake, humming songs and stroking Tony’s back to help him fall asleep. It took a while, but Steve didn’t mind. He was just happy when his husband started snoring.

Small victories.

[flow-green]

Crafted earrings, cooked and danced around the room

I should write more often already because this way I get my fingers all nicely warmed up. Can’t complain though, I cannot remember when Estonia had this crispy cold winters with huge snowpiles up to your bellybutton. At least inside it is so nice to be mesmerized by the rising sun rays over sparkling snow fields, all while curled up under a blanket with a hot cup of coffee. Not really into spending more  than half an hour outside with this cold, as my skii trousers have mysteriously disappeared after not needing them for years.

After those coffee and meditation mornings I have a whole hour to enjoy online fitness classes held by all of my favourite trainers. So thankful they have released online platform. Yes, Youtube channels for work outs are good, but they cannot even comprehend with community and people I have worked out with for years.

Oh, I love Fridays. Mostly because, of course, it marks the end of the workweek and all the stress load on my shoulder gets a decent relief. The end of last year started to go crucially out of hands regarding to work hours. I believed I am extra productive and a good asset for the company with my over-hours after 6 PM, and weekends when I assisted translators with their issues, replied to clients’ and colleagues’ e-mails; I started my workdays right after waking up at 7 AM. I felt so proud. That until I got a note that I have spent shorter AFK periods in our office communication platform and I should work more harder, and that I have to stay available all the time. I awarded myself with a few longer and frequent stretching moments away from keyboards so I wouldn’t completely lose my mind. That comment made me realize that my over-hours benefited no one and they will be left unnoticed. So from this moment on I stayed strictly in my official office hours. And it has paid off at maximum. I am more productive and motivated, more enthusiastic. At the end of the year the times were extremely busy and I was overflown with work, burning out was only a stretch away, but following the working hours and taking mandatory lunch breaks every day made it all synchronize and it went so well. I have learned the hard way that personal time and work time have to be separated. My days were starting to mix into a blurry mess. Even Fridays were nothing special for me as I knew I will work on weekends anyway. Needless to say it all started to negatively affect my personal life and escalated in nasty fights.

Now that I have strictly separated my work and personal time, I feel so-o-o good. Fridays are once again one of my favourite days in week and the entire workday flows with a positive vibe. Today is no exception. I am so ready for the weekend!

This week was overally satisfying as the corona restrictions are being eased bit by bit. For example, gyms and fitness classes are again back in business. This means that finally I can get back to one of my primary passions, instructing BodyBalance classes. Every Tuesday and Wednesday I have my BodyBalance classes, Wednesdays being my favourite as then, I have my favourite people in front of me and I realized this week, how much I missed it. I have always thought that I am quite good at coaching, but this Wednesday I got an ultimate compliment that as soon as I step into instructor role, I transform completely into someone else: I glow, am confident, cheerful. This side of me can rarely be seen in other moments. I guess this shows that working as a trainer is an ultimate passion. Sad though that I cannot spread it wider. I try of course. Before initial corona crisis I was almost through the door to Estonia’s biggest fitness club MyFitness. Anyway, this compliment sparked such an inspiring fire in me that I think I performed my best class ever. The energy I get from these hours are crucially needed. For several evenings now I have silly-danced through our rooms, singing loudly to all the pop songs I hear; made silly jokes. And just laughed and laughed. I cannot remember when was the last time I laughed truly from the bottom of my heart so that tears were in my eyes.

One of my goals for this year was picking up a new hobby. For my surprise, I started to follow this goal so early in this year. I got invited to join a workshop for crafting earrings from clay. I am not that artsy and crafty, with a small exception of drawing, in which I am still a complete newbie. Usually I am always excited when an opportunity like this presents itself, but when the actual time comes to show up, I bail. Not this time, I told myself and went for it. Working with clay was a totally unfamiliar area for me, except that one time when I made a really weird looking coffee mug in one of the clay workshops. God forbid I ever show this to anyone...

Anyway, the workshop was the bomb! There were 20 people, most of them already quite experience with clay crafting. I felt really self-aware and awkward but when I got my hands on the first small piece of multicolour clay which I soon crafted into two tiny hearts, I felt so calm. It was like an art therapy. Two hours later I waltzed out with 3 pairs of earrings in my hand. Those butterfly wings came out silly-looking as if the poor butterfly were mauled by a cat or something. But I got an excitement to actually pick it up myself, so I should buy some colour clay, moulds and decorations. Look at me, being all spiritual artsy self-developer ‘n stuff

As it’s Friday, I stepped onto the scale this morning. A decent 500g drop in weight, which made me feel quite neutral, and thus I continued my morning without thinking about it. I am not sure where this complete peace with my weight came, so suddenly, but I feel so free. True, few  times a week these demons still haunt me, especially when That Time of the Month is lurking nearby and even a slice of cucumber makes me feel I am fat, but I understand almost instantly that this is just a silly evil entity in my brain, trying to stab me with its knives. This does not make me feel any pain anymore, rather just an annoying poke which I forget almost instantly. There is so much more than that in life, not related to the random number on my scale. I feel strong and more confident than I have felt in years. I am so grateful that I am not a lonely slave to mind anymore, that I have someone I can rely on, that I have a roof over my head, seriously fulfilling healthy foods on my table and a stable working opportunity that does not seem to shrink in its scope anytime soon. Everything else is an additional bonus and my gut is telling me things will get even better.

Ah, right, one of the highlights of this week was me finally getting my long-missed new running steeds: Nike Air Pegasus Shield 37. The only running shoe model which makes me feel like I run on clouds and makes the running even in the craziest monsoons feel like a stroll in the park no matter the temperature outside. I have not yet tested them out yet though, as the roads are insanely slippery and Coach Bennet from NRC is stressing out the strict rule not to run on ice. Thus, I have taken some off-time from running and instead continuing the oh-so amazing workouts from  Netfit. Old version of me would have probably drowned in the pool of tears from regrets of not running, but current me doesn’t let it bring me down. I am so active with other things and this is more than enough. Who knows, perhaps the longer break from running actually brings back the long-lost passion for it and kick-starts the activity with a fresh energy.

Now, about food. The second week is almost over filled with foods that I used to fear and now make me happy instead. My morning indulgent is a breakfast with overnight oats that I have tuned up to taste as delicious as ever. Yesterday lunch I got a sudden craving for fresh berry smoothie so I think I made the best smoothie ever out of strawberries, bananas, cinnamon and ginger. The ratio was so on point. Smoothie was also one of my fear foods: is liquid, filled with carb-y calories and will not fill me up. Boy, what was wrong with me?

Yesterday I made another slow-cooker crockpot stew which has become a hero of dinners. I think my newly-discovered passion for cooking has made me test out flavours more confident and thus, this time the stew came out so good I ate Once again I’d like to say how good I physically feel. After a hearty dinner with belly nicely full, I do feel random panic shivers that I probably just gained 4 kg and everyone can see my belly twice the size it was 30 minutes ago, but this idiotic thinking disappears surprisingly fast. Most of the  time I feel that my body is happy, I have energy for the entire day from 7 AM I tip my toes onto the floor and until 11 PM when my head finally touches the pillow. Before, I had these eating-triggered depression exhaustions, when I just wanted to sleep off every lunch break,  but no, this wasn’t an option so instead, I forced myself into running and I came back, feeling even more exhausted an unhappy.

Netfit workouts in the mornings are like a nectar to my soul. I cannot remember when was the last time I truly ENJOYED my morning work-outs when I did not remind myself every second of it that I NEED to push myself to maximum because yesterday’s dinner calories must be destroyed. It’s amazing how much can your mind-set change the quality of your life.

I have a secret fear that this happiness will be a short-term break. I have had these good periods in the past as well and after a few weeks I am back in my old black corner, but I don’t know... this time I honestly feel that perhaps this here now is permanent and what if the jigsaw pieces are finally starting to come together...

Today, I actually wanted to post my 100 goals for the year. I guess next time then. Don’t want to crash Tumblr in one go.

[thedivinefish]

TGIWednesday and releasing the past

TGIWednesday News

July already? WTHeck…………and for our next what the huh moment….who had Godzilla African Dust Cloud?  Raise your hand if you knew this would be this month’s Biblical wild mix up surprise. Lol Do your best in the midst of chaos and drama and remain steadfast and steady as she goes. As you read this now I am asking for you to receive peace during Retrograde and pandemics, prosperity in the face of uncertainty and high levels of great health here and now. 

TGIWednesday Download

~  RELEASING THE PAST ~ I hear that still small voice within me now releasing me from my past. Mysteries of an ancient time are revealed to me in my dream states. I hold onto the simple truth within and I am shown ancient wonders from the past that will help me in my future. I believe, think, know and feel that every aspect of my life can and will improve. I am ready, willing and able to undertake the steps it takes to co-create improvements.  I know, when, where, how and why on all levels to feel fully present, capitalize on the past and lean forward into a blessed future. I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is! 

Monthly MySwitchWorks Event

~Next Live Call Wed. July 29th at 7:30pm EDT~ *NEW DOWNLOAD* (June) Restoring Inner Peace During Outer Chaos (May) Reinvigorating Your Work Life Switches (April) The Plandemic: Moving Forward (March) Luck Switches (Feb) Love & Romance Switches (Jan) Supercharge Abundance Switches (Dec) Abundance Switches (Sept) Youth & Vitality Switches

Visit the shop for all replays and to play this brief audio if you've never heard Jimmy explain about switches. As one person on Facebook wrote when recommending to a friend: "These Zoom calls are an absolute "yawn fest" (in the very best sense ;) He works fast and furious with releases." 

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

  JULY 1st "Today I will allow God to be on my side.  I will allow God to be my vindicator, and my sword of justice.  I will stay in the flow.  I will overcome every obstacle and experience triumph in my life now."

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Yesterday Jimmy was the special guest on Higher Realms with Jeremy Riden.  Click here to watch the replay on YouTube. 

Thurs. July 30th - Your Divine Uniqueness with host Moncef Akfir.  Join Spiritual Masters FREE For Live & Interactive Sessions, Plus Receive Instant Bonuses. Register Here

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT CALL IN (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Reverend Debbie Dienstbier Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit.  Visit her Facebook page  

UPCOMING GUESTS:

July 7th - Joanne Leo | Psychic https://psychicjoanneleo.com/ July 14th - Gregory Joseph | Master Healer www.gregoryjosephhealer.com

July 21st  - Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

Juy 28th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show is LIVE on Tuesday's at 4pm EDT  If you want to Listen in only, go to this website: https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions OR If you want to call in & ask a question CALL (206) 806-9965 No need to press #1, just dial in and you'll be in the queue. If the Call in Number above doesn’t seem to work, please use this back up Call in Number: (425) 535-9149 when prompted, enter 206.806.9965 followed by #  International Callers, click the link below for the International call in list for your country.  If you're using the Free Conference Call App, it automatically re-routes the best call In number for you.  Please unblock your phone number if you wish to speak with Jimmy and or his guest host. Blocked, Restricted and Private Callers are not brought on air.

From the Fish Box

"Today (June 13th), I had a Farmer (from a farm a long way from here) buy a very old tractor we have had for sale for a long time. It is a specialized tractor and as we no longer grow that particular crop. It’s great that it finally has a new home. This old tractor will keep going and going.  Thanks for the prayers."  UPDATE (June 21st) "Jimmy, Had yet another buyer turn up for the tractor that has already been sold." - Julie R "I love that, because I always say in prayers for ya’ll and everyone  "show them and tell them by ways and means that they’ll know that it could have only come from you” and those are for sure odd little spirit signs……love it. Good stuff we work on all the lists every night we never know what's going to happen that's part of the excitement." - Jimmy

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

**NO Sessions at the Tampa Office 

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/  

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[divinefishingtips]

TGIWednesday and releasing the past

TGIWednesday News

July already? WTHeck…………and for our next what the huh moment….who had Godzilla African Dust Cloud?  Raise your hand if you knew this would be this month’s Biblical wild mix up surprise. Lol Do your best in the midst of chaos and drama and remain steadfast and steady as she goes. As you read this now I am asking for you to receive peace during Retrograde and pandemics, prosperity in the face of uncertainty and high levels of great health here and now. 

TGIWednesday Download

~  RELEASING THE PAST ~ I hear that still small voice within me now releasing me from my past. Mysteries of an ancient time are revealed to me in my dream states. I hold onto the simple truth within and I am shown ancient wonders from the past that will help me in my future. I believe, think, know and feel that every aspect of my life can and will improve. I am ready, willing and able to undertake the steps it takes to co-create improvements.  I know, when, where, how and why on all levels to feel fully present, capitalize on the past and lean forward into a blessed future. I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is! 

Monthly MySwitchWorks Event

~Next Live Call Wed. July 29th at 7:30pm EDT~ *NEW DOWNLOAD* (June) Restoring Inner Peace During Outer Chaos (May) Reinvigorating Your Work Life Switches (April) The Plandemic: Moving Forward (March) Luck Switches (Feb) Love & Romance Switches (Jan) Supercharge Abundance Switches (Dec) Abundance Switches (Sept) Youth & Vitality Switches

Visit the shop for all replays and to play this brief audio if you've never heard Jimmy explain about switches. As one person on Facebook wrote when recommending to a friend: "These Zoom calls are an absolute "yawn fest" (in the very best sense ;) He works fast and furious with releases." 

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

  JULY 1st "Today I will allow God to be on my side.  I will allow God to be my vindicator, and my sword of justice.  I will stay in the flow.  I will overcome every obstacle and experience triumph in my life now."

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Yesterday Jimmy was the special guest on Higher Realms with Jeremy Riden.  Click here to watch the replay on YouTube. 

Thurs. July 30th - Your Divine Uniqueness with host Moncef Akfir.  Join Spiritual Masters FREE For Live & Interactive Sessions, Plus Receive Instant Bonuses. Register Here

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT CALL IN (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Reverend Debbie Dienstbier Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit.  Visit her Facebook page  

UPCOMING GUESTS:

July 7th - Joanne Leo | Psychic https://psychicjoanneleo.com/ July 14th - Gregory Joseph | Master Healer www.gregoryjosephhealer.com

July 21st  - Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

Juy 28th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show is LIVE on Tuesday's at 4pm EDT  If you want to Listen in only, go to this website: https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions OR If you want to call in & ask a question CALL (206) 806-9965 No need to press #1, just dial in and you'll be in the queue. If the Call in Number above doesn’t seem to work, please use this back up Call in Number: (425) 535-9149 when prompted, enter 206.806.9965 followed by #  International Callers, click the link below for the International call in list for your country.  If you're using the Free Conference Call App, it automatically re-routes the best call In number for you.  Please unblock your phone number if you wish to speak with Jimmy and or his guest host. Blocked, Restricted and Private Callers are not brought on air.

From the Fish Box

"Today (June 13th), I had a Farmer (from a farm a long way from here) buy a very old tractor we have had for sale for a long time. It is a specialized tractor and as we no longer grow that particular crop. It’s great that it finally has a new home. This old tractor will keep going and going.  Thanks for the prayers."  UPDATE (June 21st) "Jimmy, Had yet another buyer turn up for the tractor that has already been sold." - Julie R "I love that, because I always say in prayers for ya’ll and everyone  "show them and tell them by ways and means that they’ll know that it could have only come from you” and those are for sure odd little spirit signs……love it. Good stuff we work on all the lists every night we never know what's going to happen that's part of the excitement." - Jimmy

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

**NO Sessions at the Tampa Office 

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/  

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[365dailyaffirmations]

TGIWednesday and releasing the past

TGIWednesday News

July already? WTHeck…………and for our next what the huh moment….who had Godzilla African Dust Cloud?  Raise your hand if you knew this would be this month’s Biblical wild mix up surprise. Lol Do your best in the midst of chaos and drama and remain steadfast and steady as she goes. As you read this now I am asking for you to receive peace during Retrograde and pandemics, prosperity in the face of uncertainty and high levels of great health here and now. 

TGIWednesday Download

~  RELEASING THE PAST ~ I hear that still small voice within me now releasing me from my past. Mysteries of an ancient time are revealed to me in my dream states. I hold onto the simple truth within and I am shown ancient wonders from the past that will help me in my future. I believe, think, know and feel that every aspect of my life can and will improve. I am ready, willing and able to undertake the steps it takes to co-create improvements.  I know, when, where, how and why on all levels to feel fully present, capitalize on the past and lean forward into a blessed future. I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is! 

Monthly MySwitchWorks Event

~Next Live Call Wed. July 29th at 7:30pm EDT~ *NEW DOWNLOAD* (June) Restoring Inner Peace During Outer Chaos (May) Reinvigorating Your Work Life Switches (April) The Plandemic: Moving Forward (March) Luck Switches (Feb) Love & Romance Switches (Jan) Supercharge Abundance Switches (Dec) Abundance Switches (Sept) Youth & Vitality Switches

Visit the shop for all replays and to play this brief audio if you've never heard Jimmy explain about switches. As one person on Facebook wrote when recommending to a friend: "These Zoom calls are an absolute "yawn fest" (in the very best sense ;) He works fast and furious with releases." 

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

  JULY 1st "Today I will allow God to be on my side.  I will allow God to be my vindicator, and my sword of justice.  I will stay in the flow.  I will overcome every obstacle and experience triumph in my life now."

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Yesterday Jimmy was the special guest on Higher Realms with Jeremy Riden.  Click here to watch the replay on YouTube. 

Thurs. July 30th - Your Divine Uniqueness with host Moncef Akfir.  Join Spiritual Masters FREE For Live & Interactive Sessions, Plus Receive Instant Bonuses. Register Here

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT CALL IN (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Reverend Debbie Dienstbier Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit.  Visit her Facebook page  

UPCOMING GUESTS:

July 7th - Joanne Leo | Psychic https://psychicjoanneleo.com/ July 14th - Gregory Joseph | Master Healer www.gregoryjosephhealer.com

July 21st  - Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

Juy 28th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show is LIVE on Tuesday's at 4pm EDT  If you want to Listen in only, go to this website: https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions OR If you want to call in & ask a question CALL (206) 806-9965 No need to press #1, just dial in and you'll be in the queue. If the Call in Number above doesn’t seem to work, please use this back up Call in Number: (425) 535-9149 when prompted, enter 206.806.9965 followed by #  International Callers, click the link below for the International call in list for your country.  If you're using the Free Conference Call App, it automatically re-routes the best call In number for you.  Please unblock your phone number if you wish to speak with Jimmy and or his guest host. Blocked, Restricted and Private Callers are not brought on air.

From the Fish Box

"Today (June 13th), I had a Farmer (from a farm a long way from here) buy a very old tractor we have had for sale for a long time. It is a specialized tractor and as we no longer grow that particular crop. It’s great that it finally has a new home. This old tractor will keep going and going.  Thanks for the prayers."  UPDATE (June 21st) "Jimmy, Had yet another buyer turn up for the tractor that has already been sold." - Julie R "I love that, because I always say in prayers for ya’ll and everyone  "show them and tell them by ways and means that they’ll know that it could have only come from you” and those are for sure odd little spirit signs……love it. Good stuff we work on all the lists every night we never know what's going to happen that's part of the excitement." - Jimmy

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

**NO Sessions at the Tampa Office 

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/  

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[advancedthetapractitioner]

TGIWednesday and releasing the past

TGIWednesday News

July already? WTHeck…………and for our next what the huh moment….who had Godzilla African Dust Cloud?  Raise your hand if you knew this would be this month’s Biblical wild mix up surprise. Lol Do your best in the midst of chaos and drama and remain steadfast and steady as she goes. As you read this now I am asking for you to receive peace during Retrograde and pandemics, prosperity in the face of uncertainty and high levels of great health here and now. 

TGIWednesday Download

~  RELEASING THE PAST ~ I hear that still small voice within me now releasing me from my past. Mysteries of an ancient time are revealed to me in my dream states. I hold onto the simple truth within and I am shown ancient wonders from the past that will help me in my future. I believe, think, know and feel that every aspect of my life can and will improve. I am ready, willing and able to undertake the steps it takes to co-create improvements.  I know, when, where, how and why on all levels to feel fully present, capitalize on the past and lean forward into a blessed future. I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is! 

Monthly MySwitchWorks Event

~Next Live Call Wed. July 29th at 7:30pm EDT~ *NEW DOWNLOAD* (June) Restoring Inner Peace During Outer Chaos (May) Reinvigorating Your Work Life Switches (April) The Plandemic: Moving Forward (March) Luck Switches (Feb) Love & Romance Switches (Jan) Supercharge Abundance Switches (Dec) Abundance Switches (Sept) Youth & Vitality Switches

Visit the shop for all replays and to play this brief audio if you've never heard Jimmy explain about switches. As one person on Facebook wrote when recommending to a friend: "These Zoom calls are an absolute "yawn fest" (in the very best sense ;) He works fast and furious with releases." 

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

  JULY 1st "Today I will allow God to be on my side.  I will allow God to be my vindicator, and my sword of justice.  I will stay in the flow.  I will overcome every obstacle and experience triumph in my life now."

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Yesterday Jimmy was the special guest on Higher Realms with Jeremy Riden.  Click here to watch the replay on YouTube. 

Thurs. July 30th - Your Divine Uniqueness with host Moncef Akfir.  Join Spiritual Masters FREE For Live & Interactive Sessions, Plus Receive Instant Bonuses. Register Here

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT CALL IN (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Reverend Debbie Dienstbier Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit.  Visit her Facebook page  

UPCOMING GUESTS:

July 7th - Joanne Leo | Psychic https://psychicjoanneleo.com/ July 14th - Gregory Joseph | Master Healer www.gregoryjosephhealer.com

July 21st  - Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

Juy 28th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show is LIVE on Tuesday's at 4pm EDT  If you want to Listen in only, go to this website: https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions OR If you want to call in & ask a question CALL (206) 806-9965 No need to press #1, just dial in and you'll be in the queue. If the Call in Number above doesn’t seem to work, please use this back up Call in Number: (425) 535-9149 when prompted, enter 206.806.9965 followed by #  International Callers, click the link below for the International call in list for your country.  If you're using the Free Conference Call App, it automatically re-routes the best call In number for you.  Please unblock your phone number if you wish to speak with Jimmy and or his guest host. Blocked, Restricted and Private Callers are not brought on air.

From the Fish Box

"Today (June 13th), I had a Farmer (from a farm a long way from here) buy a very old tractor we have had for sale for a long time. It is a specialized tractor and as we no longer grow that particular crop. It’s great that it finally has a new home. This old tractor will keep going and going.  Thanks for the prayers."  UPDATE (June 21st) "Jimmy, Had yet another buyer turn up for the tractor that has already been sold." - Julie R "I love that, because I always say in prayers for ya’ll and everyone  "show them and tell them by ways and means that they’ll know that it could have only come from you” and those are for sure odd little spirit signs……love it. Good stuff we work on all the lists every night we never know what's going to happen that's part of the excitement." - Jimmy

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Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

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**NO Sessions at the Tampa Office 

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/  

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality

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Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

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[eirikrjs]

A Deep, Strange Week

My crazy week with vacationing Japanese friends is over! After coming to terms with the fact that I was close to death multiple times while navigating a hearing-and-English-language deficient elderly man through DC-area highways, I’m finally able to get back to doing what I do best: being a wet blanket. 

But in truth, in commenting further about DSJ, the blanket will remain mostly dry. I’ll get to a few common asks and leave the spoiler talk behind a jump. 

#1: The Shekinah (神霊 シェキナー; she is a Godly!)

Tons of people sent the name to me and THANK YOU because I was, after all, asking for it. A shame it didn’t get revealed before the trip because now it already feels like old news. 

Anyway, without getting into spoilers, this turned out to be a pleasant reveal for once. I have a couple quibbles with it (the dark purple faces, even if they are meant to be “cosmic”, seem “evil” when some bluish, greenish, or especially reddish hue for them would have better represented the “presence” aspect; plus that one face that’s grimacing for some reason), but those aside this is one of the only decent demon designs from DSJ, along with Anahita, I guess! 

#2: For the Glory of Speculation

So what does this mean for our good friend from the SMT5 trailer, “Shekinah Glory”? Don’t expect it to translate into this Shekinah appearing in that game in a major way, since it’s already used here. Instead, I can see this referring to the male protagonist’s (sorry folks, that’s just the reality) girlfriend, who could possibly serve as a kind of navigator for you after you both get eaten by those demons. Or, at the very least, she will be the “megami tensei” because we have to take that literally from now on. The broad strokes of femininity and divinity! 

Oh, and “Daath”...you see, Daath isn’t always on the sephirot tree, so I figure it could refer to a hidden or alternate path, because I doubt they will be able to get away from Law/Neutral/Chaos. Hopefully it represents something more abstract! 

#3: Have My Thoughts on DSJ Changed at All? 

This is a question from @m4tter4545. In short: sort of, but not really. I’ll get into the new endings in spoiler territory, but even thought they are interesting, they don’t erase what happened to Zeus or Demeter; it’s still a net negative in my eyes. I would maybe buy the English version on sale, but I’m not willing to commit to it beyond that. 

#4: Farewell, Miiverse! 

Before I move on to spoilers, let’s pour one out for Miiverse, which closes on Tuesday. While you still can, enjoy the Japanese DSJ community. Plenty of decent screenshots to grab in these final hours, like Mem Aleph above in full view for once--though the rest of her legs were always present in the original DS version, as seen at the bottom; the 3DS sprite is ever so slightly bigger, as well. I’m gonna miss Miiverse and its eccentric users, especially those on the European SMT4 page who supplied almost all of the screenshots I needed for Identity Crisis. Cheers to all you lucky devils who were able to post horny Walter, it was greatly appreciated! 

Be careful, spoilers ahead! 

#5: Lucifer’s Child and the New Endings 

So for some of these spoiler topics I honestly won’t have much to say because I don’t want to prematurely judge without the full context. Sometimes having the whole story at your disposal makes things better, sometimes worse (like for Apocalypse). 

But Alex being the daughter of Lucifer and MC is perhaps completely unexpected, so bravo to Atlus for surpassing expectations. But Lucifer...a mother? I mean, it’s a supernatural entity that doesn’t really exist and seems to be able to fully shapeshift, so who’s to say it couldn’t happen? But other than the weird logistics, I don’t find the idea bad or anything, at least based on the basics I know at the moment. 

The new endings seem to be divided between Law and Chaos endings on steroids and a primary new Neutral ending, where MC and Arthur become immortal or something and live on the moon to defend the world from the Schwarzwelt, which now reappears every 150 years. On paper that sounds totally rad, but kinda silly if you think about it for more than a minute. So let’s not do that and just conclude that it’s rad. 

#6: The Three Wise Women 

Even though I like the Shekinah design, her place in the overall SJ scenario seems odd. No, it’s not necessarily the Three Wise Men changing genders, as they were so vaguely defined (and smartly so) that they could be anything; that said, this idea definitely seems like a retcon. 

But it’s more that since canonically in the SJ universe, God has been split apart by the mothers, right? Hence the Metatron/Demiurge quest. But the Three Wise Men were still around, yet here they turn into what is certainly a direct avatar of YHVH. But hey, missing context, huh? I think some Cosmic Egg shenanigans were going on, too, so that may be enough to handwave it. 

Oh yeah, and apparently Demeter turns out to be Shekinah’s underling or something. Whatever. The quicker we move on from that mess, the better. 

#7: Zeus and Amon 

The last major topic I can think of, the game links Amon and Zeus together. Why? Because of Zeus-Ammon. 

I don’t know that many specifics about this other than it has to do with the Lucifer ring that Alex owns, which she uses to control Amon (?). But this connection strikes me as incredibly tenuous, chiefly because you can’t really make a direct connection between Zeus and Amon because a whole other god is standing between them: the Egyptian Amun. Just because one group equated A to B and another equated B to C doesn’t mean that A is equal to C. But yeah, yeah, this is the same game where Asherah results from Asura, so who really cares. 

I believe that’s it for now! Let me know if there’s anything to correct or add! Thanks for reading! 

[crystalelemental]

Well, it’s finally done.  After all these years of just refusing to play the damn game, I beat Dark Souls 2 in its entirety.  Which means, I have now beaten the entire series to 100% completion, and it is time to make a decision.

I’ll start with the game itself.  I know a lot of people identify it as the jankiest, and that it just doesn’t function right.  I’m not quite sure I’d agree with that entirely?  It’s definitely weird, though.  Like, when adaptability is low and your roll sucks, you’ll be rolling through something but still take damage for reasons.  That’s kinda shitty.  And it’s only really fixable by keeping low weight and trying to allocate points there early on.  So we hope you enjoy playing melee only for most of the game.  Not that it makes sense to do anything else anyway.

What is a major problem is how many times your slow-ass character is surrounded by like 5 enemies.  Look, the Souls series is weird.  A single boss with big attacks is not really that threatening, but a room of three normal enemies is a death sentence if you aggro them all simultaneously.  There are a ton of bosses where the only real difficulty is crowd control.  Skeleton Lords, Ruin Sentinels, Looking Glass Knight, Twin Dragonriders, Throne Defender and Watcher, Duke’s Dear Freya, Executioner’s Chariot (which extra sucks because adds are infinite unless you kill the necromancers), Darklurker, the fucking Belfry Gargoyles, Royal Rat Authority.  Then in NG+ you get Lost Sinner summoning help, and the DLC introduces all kinds of fresh hell for you, like Elana (who I actually love, but only from lore standpoint), Lud and Zallen, the Ivory King, and the ganksquad.  So much of this game is difficulty by suddenly being surrounded by too many units, and there are locations that are outright impossible to get through without a bow or spells to draw one person at a time (the run to Velstadt and the Ancient Dragon most notably).

That said...this is probably the easiest of the games.  Not for any sensible reason like bosses just being easier or anything.  It’s because you can power-level like a motherfucker, and are almost encouraged to do so.  Levels scale so minimally that, at around level 200, you still only need around 50,000 souls to level.  That is not a high bar to set, and level 200 means you can pack a lot of different tools, including your melee weapon of choice, spells of choice, and still have a good HP pool and a solid roll.  Not gonna lie: actually love this fact.  I think that the series as a whole suffers from not really allowing you to mix-and-match sets.  A lot of things require specification, and quality builds are notoriously Not That Good.  So being able to fairly easily cap most relevant stats in the first playthrough is fantastic.

That said, then you have the negative: Soul Memory.  So, in this game, you can be summoned to help a player fight a boss, to regain your humanity without using the finite consumable Effigies.  This is good, because going hollow means your HP gets cut pretty sharply, up to 50% of your max life.  Which is stupid as hell, but whatever.  Now, to be summoned, you need to be in the right tier as other players.  Meaning that, if you want to be summoned reliably to fight Old Iron King, you need to be...not at Soul Memory 800k.  Otherwise it takes like 3 days to get your 30 sunlight medals you need for that spell to get the trophies.  Not that I’m bitter.  Basically, as you fight the boss, you gain more souls, which puts you at a higher soul memory, which puts you out of range of typical players, so you can’t really farm reliably or recover humanity reliably from easier bosses.  I like the idea of encouraging co-op, but the soul memory system is awful.  It probably also influences invasions, but fuck invaders.  If you invade people, you’re a piece of shit and I hope your system bricks.

As the last thing to note: the major complain I often see is “why are so many bosses just armored sword man; what is this, Smash 4?”  Which is super legit.  There are a lot of bosses that are just different variants on knight.  Especially in the main game, this made it really easy to reach Velstadt...and basically beat him no damage.  Because you know what’s happening now.  You know how the knight fight goes, and there’s nothing all that unique.  It’s very same-y.  Of course, this does nothing to stop me from getting my shit pushed in like 37 times against Fume Knight, but honestly fuck that asshole.

Lore-wise, I feel like this is the weakest of the games, but I also feel like it’s closest to what I would want out of a sequel.  I’m serious.  I think that DS1 presented a fairly complete story, that didn’t really have a need for continuation in this way.  DS2′s focus on bringing all these references to DS1 back is obnoxious, and the thing that holds it back the most.  Focus on kingdoms within the world all you want.  Focus on this entirely separate place called Drangleic and have it focus on all this unique stuff, in a place that doesn’t even know what the hell Lordran is or why the curse is showing up.  But keeping it separate was really what is lacking here.  Why is Ornstein just here?  Just hanging out?  Why is the statue for the Warriors of Sunlight still here when nothing else remained, and why is it near fucking Earthen Peak of all damn places?  Why do the four great lord souls from DS1 just show up on NG+ with the new four great souls?  Just keep them separate.  You didn’t have to do this.

There is, however, one thing I actually like that’s a tie-in, and that’s the queens.  I like the idea of Manus’ defeat resulting in the creation of these beings of the abyss showing up, and trying in their own ways to bring things back to the Dark.  It’s something that ties in nicely, but isn’t just a shallow reference without meaning.  It also helps that they’re pretty cool.  Elana is, as I mentioned, my favorite, which has a lot to do with her trying to poison a dragon to death.  Fuck that dragon up, girl.  Stupid bitch lizard ain’t got shit.  She’s also just the most outright conniving of the four, I think.

Overall, it’s not a terrible game, but it does feel very different.  I think the main thing I take away is that it’s still very much a Dark Souls game.  It’s all focused around difficulty meaning dying a lot, but this time with added penalties in the form of hollowing, and soul memory fucking literally everything up by putting you out of summon range whenever you suck and have to re-do runs to the boss, or try to farm levels to handle a problem.  Magic is still boring a shit, and this game is almost the worst offender considering all my best spell options were just throwing Dark Orb at shit until it stopped breathing because it was fast and had a stupidly high number of casts compared to everything else in the game.  I still feel like boss health is way too goddamn high given how unforgiving the game is toward any mistake in a fight, and how little variation there often is in a moveset.  I’ve said before that I enjoy this series largely because it’s an active playing process that lets you build up your character, and that stat allocations are something I adore above all else, but it’s just not doing it for me.  I’ve played about every type of build I can, in every game.  Magic is always boring and way less effective than heavy armor with a stick.  Melee weapons function very differently, but every major boss still boils down to learn pattern, dodge or block, attack one or maybe two times then back to defense so you don’t eat shit, repeat for 15 minutes until dead.  It’s...kinda boring by now.

Which leads me to this: I’m trading this entire series in for Etrian Odyssey V on Tuesday.  I don’t hate the games, but I find there is no further enjoyment to be had here.  I’m more invested in completing a build, which leads to a lot of time just spent grinding, and I experience more frustration with getting through a run than anything else, since the series has become more of a placeholder between games than something I actually want to play on its own.  In a weird way, it’s almost become too effective of a placeholder, and I could probably accomplish more significant things or branch out a bit instead of just replaying these whenever I’m bored and waiting on something else to come out.  So, I’m done.  I’m trading it all in, and honestly, thank god.

[copiosis]

The World Says Your Job Sucks. Even If You Love It.

The world is changing. Fast. Conservatives, liberals and their political gladiators squabble over those changes. Free healthcare (or not), "women's right to choose" (or not), Citizens United and living wage jobs are the spoils. The future is side wants is the prize.

Each side's political leaders persuade their supporters promising "Jobs for all", and "rebuilding the middle class", and "Protecting existing jobs from competition". Or "raising minimum wage standards for low-skilled jobs". To me, these are synonymous with jail sentences.

That’s right. I’m talking about your job. Whether you like it or not, the world would prefer its absence. Like that guy you can’t stand being around, your job is not only annoying. It’s probably killing you.

Why aren't politicians promising to end the need to work "jobs" at all? Do they (and the rest of America) not see how much better life would be without them? I do.

I'm not alone.

A small Faction advocates ending, not jobs, but all kinds of "working". Once and maybe still considered fringe, that may change given the future we face.

Advances in Artificial Intelligence and automation are already having their way across many job sectors. That's increasing. When companies like Pepsi say they are aggressively pursuing automation, and trucking companies see billions of savingsin self-driving trucks, you can bet, the workday's days are numbered. Meaning, jobs are on their way out.

Instead of fighting the inevitable, we could analyze if jobs are essential or not. And if not, what could be better than people working jobs.

Faction members say jobs are neither essential nor valuable.

But mainstream America still sees benefit from them. Despite their problems and obvious downsides. Downsides most people know. Downsides I'll share in links below.

Post Industrial Revolution Jobs Are Soul Crushing

This Faction, of which I am a part, says jobs crush souls. They're divisive, making competitors of your fellow humans. They make people sick. They waste lives in return for a paycheck.

People on their deathbed agree with me.

^^ What many who died regretted about life while dying. Read the whole article here.

Sure, some love their jobs. But they are the minority. Thirteen percent of people like going to work worldwide.  Many of those have adapted to their jobs. Meaning, they tolerate it. They don't really like it. How do I know? Offer them $10 million. See if they'd keep doing what they do for "work”.

Job lovers used to be the majority. But it wasn't jobs people worked back then. Before the the industrial revolution and mass production, people specialized. Not the specialization we see today. Where one person does one thing contributing to a assembly-line like production process.

They specialized around things they were passionate about and thus experts at. Or they had the aptitude (the natural talent, i.e. passion) to become good at it. They took pride in their work. And their output reflected that. That's why some of their output is still going strong hundreds of years later. In architecture, machinery, hardware and more, their work is their legacy.

Today, not so much.

I believe even if you love your job, you'd gladly give it up were a viable, engaging option available (and there are). Something more compelling that doing what you do. What compels most to work is need. They need things working gives them.

But work isn't the only way to get those.

Nearly all people give up working in the end. We call it "retirement".

Some give it up when a miracle happens: like winning the lottery. Or tragedy: a crippling injury or near-death experience.

So what should humans do with this thing most of us don't want to do?

The Faction says humanity should support people following their passions. The pursuit of leisure, and Maslow's idea of "self-actualization” should our focus. These pursuits not only vastly enrich humanity as a whole and the individual too. They also can solve all our pressing global, societal and environmental problems. But first, we as a civilization must organize said civilization away from "the daily grind".

That is possible.

Besides, it's passionate people who create humanity's breakthrough solutions. Not the ones complaining about what they do for a living. Imagine what could happen if everyone were passionate about what they're doing. Rather than flipping burgers, crunching numbers, and working in rendering plants. Unless those things are your passion.

^^Photo: Photo: Wahyu Setiawan on Unsplash

Jobs keep people so busy, affording enough time and energy to complain about problems. With more free time, people could be solving more problems they see. Create fewer problems too.

Jobs As A Belief Habit

Believing jobs are what people really want is a hard habit to break. For some, breaking the habit causes an existential crisis.

^^Someone indoctrinated to the “need” of jobs. Is it common sense? It is common. Sensical? I don’t think so.

But generally, satisfaction people get from workingcan be had (in greater levels) through passions. There's nothing a job provides that a passion can't in the right context.

People prefer not going to work. It's obvious when you listen to how people talk about work at work.

On Monday, people are trying to get over the end of the weekend. Why do weekends go by so quick? No one ever said "Thank God, it's Monday!"

By Tuesday they're hoping Wednesday (hump day) comes quicker than it feels like it's coming.

By Wednesday, people already are talking about being on the week's downslope.

Come Thursday, they breathe a sigh of relief: just 24 more hours before "TGIF"!

When Friday does come, people are excited. No, not about what they're doing. About what they're going to do come evening and on the weekend.

On Saturday, they're happy. But then...

On Sunday there's the general agreement that Monday looms and everyone's got to go back to work. Reluctantly.

I know this because I felt this way. I'm sure the stats don't over exaggerate the crowd I belonged to when I worked a job.

Work as it is construed today is not what humans are meant to do. I mean, we are doing them, so I guess we're meant to. For now. But jobs are catalysts. Jobs sometimes offer so much negative stress they propel people in the direction of their passions. Some do that. I'm one of them. Many others tolerate the stress instead.

Today, thanks in great measure to my wife, I'm following my passions. But I'm not unique. Every human being has a passion. That's what you're here for. Not work a job you don't like, tolerate, or become acclimated to.

^^Seriously.

The Transformational Power Of Passionate People

Ever notice that people following their passions are, well, passionate? They're not working. They're not watching the clock. They're not dreading Monday, or any other day of the week. They're enriched. They're in the flow. They're engaged. For them, time flies. Where did the time go? They ask!

People following their passion also produce excellent output. In many, many cases, that output inspires people. A lot of people. Even the strangest passion fulfills the actor and benefits the world. Including this guy,who eventually became a millionaire and was Knighted by England. For what? Creating the strangest art I've ever seen, or not seen:

Many passionate people are millionaires, world changers, leaders or all of these. Some are so humble and their work so obscure, you don't know them. Like Snowflake Bentley, whose passion changed our view of snow. No, not Jon Snow from Game of Thrones, the weather phenomena:

Someone following their passion views the week much different than a working person. Passionate people have six Saturdays and a Sunday in their week. Not the Monday-to-Friday working stiff drudgery. The rest of their lives are unlike most of us too.

What would it be like to have every American following their passion instead of working for a living? That's the question I asked at Copiosis six years ago.

Today Copiosis still going strong, promoting a better system than what we've got today. One that can easily allow every American...every human...to follow their passion.

Imagine how much better the world would be. How many better products we'd have. How many millions of passionate people we'd have. And a more healthy world we'd be living in.

A utopian fantasy? Some are beginning to say such "fantasies" are sorely needed. The faction I belong to believes this. Given the shape of our world these days and where it looks like it's going.

The Future Is Not Work. Nor Jobs.

The future is here. It emerges from the present. In this emerging future there are no jobs. Humans don't need to prepare for it like some cataclysmic apocalypse. Instead, we could be rushing head long towards it. As though it holds all our answers. Which it does.

Universal Basic Income, aka Andrew Yang's "Freedom Dividend"is a nice interim measure. It will help with humanity's thumb-twiddling. We still hold on to the past as though it's the present. Even though our entire planet is showing us our old ways are destroying us. The planet too. A Freedom Dividend can help us “bridge" here, where jobs dominate, and “there", where they've become mostly extinct.

^^A UBI could be a great bridge to a great future.

It could be a great catalyst. What could it catalyze? A great leap forward. Into what?

A future where you'll be inspired, rich and passionate about what you're doing.  Because what you're doing aligns with who and what you are.

That's a future I'd say anyone would want. Unless you're still stuck in that habitual thought that "people need jobs.”

They don’t. And the future agrees with me.