#I mean bill's parents would be happy to have a grandchild

[mogomoago]

gravity falls in my art style . Pr 1

Because the book of bill came , even if I didn't get the book yet ( I don't have interest to have a Evil triangle in my head ) , I had to draw them ; honestly , I loved when I understood this is was Canon , they make such a gay toxic old cupple ! ~

I loveit ...

I tried to make Bill look more like carton qnd I used of blue palette , and I noticed that I'm the only one that made bill's gloves blue , ( I wanted it to be a reference for his blue fire , when make deals )

Drawing Ford was really hard for me ...

[jinnie-forthe-winnie]

Princess

Part 1 (months 1-6)

Jin x oc

Pregnancy au

Word count: 4.5k

I didn’t know what gif to use so here’s jin and his giant baby🥰

Jin and Hana had met during the year 2013, just before Bangtan had debuted. She had been with him through thick and thin, the highs and lows and everything in between. With Jin constantly going on tour and his military service coming closer the couple had decided to wait until after at least one was out of the picture before settling down and starting a family. Well that is until someone else came into the picture.

Month 1

For the third day in a row Hana had woken up her husband Jin as she ran to the bathroom. Without much thought Jin throws the covers off of himself and rushes to follow her. Navigating the way proved to be difficult with his blurry vision and groggy state of mind, the light in the bathroom is the only clue as to where to go.

As he enters the bathroom he is met with a view of his wife kneeling on the ground, head over the bowl letting everything out. The sight is enough to unsettle his own stomach.

Ignoring the queasiness he grabs her hair from her face and pulls it back behind her head, tucking the strands behind her ear. He grabs the elastic from his own wrist and ties it lightly around her hair.

A quiet thank you is heard in between the gagging. He sits down beside her and the toilet and lets his arm rest on her back, rubbing slow circles to comfort her in any way he can.

After a few minutes the worst of it seems to have dissipated, and she can now comfortably lift her head away. He reaches up to the handle and he once again flushes the remnants away.

“I’m sorry Jin, I didn’t mean to wake you up” she says bowing to him lightly then going down to rest her head on the seat.

“Honey, you know it doesn’t bother me!” He says holding the side of her face giving it a light squeeze. “I would do anything for the love of my life, you know that love, right?” He says smiling to her, his head mimicking the angle her head is on.

She lightly giggles and gives him a matching smile back. “I love you” she says reaching her hand out, his hand comes and grabs her giving it a tight squeeze.

“I love yo- oh no! Over the bowl honey!” He yells out as he sees her rushing to get her face over the toilet. He laughs and rubs her back while grabbing some tissues from the cupboard. He wipes her spillage up and continues comforting her as she lets more and more out, seemingly never ending.

“Don’t worry Love, Shrek always said Better out than in!” Jin says, making her laugh while she regains her composure.

Once she is finally done she hits his leg as she gets his help to stand up. “You are so annoying, you can even let me throw up in peace.” She says grabbing a plastic cup and filling it with water from the tap. After gurgling multiple times she and Jin go back to bed together.

A couple minutes go by while the couple lay facing each other in bed, their feet the only part touching. Jin speaks up asking her something that’s been on his mind, “Hana, I think you should take a test.”

She gets nervous from his statement, she knows exactly what he is saying but she just doesn’t want their very unplanned plan to be messed with. “No! no more math tests, I finished those years ago!” She yells out to him making him let out a chuckle, but she feels his stare on her face making her nod back. “Yeah, Yeah I should,” she says quietly.

“You know I love you, no matter what.” He says putting his arm around her hip pulling her an inch closer to himself.

“Yes, and you know I love you, as long as you behave right?” She says.

“Yes mom” he says, turning away from her in the bed. She laughs and starts spooning him.

Later that day Jin and Hana are sitting together on their bathroom floor holding each other’s hand tightly. The three tests they bought that morning sat on the counter, waiting for the timer to reach 3 minutes.

Hana’s eyes are trained to the floor in front of her, her mind off in another universe trying to forget the reality of the moment. Jin however keeps his eyes on his wife and every few seconds it shifts to the timer set. Each second goes by slower and slower, after what seems like ten hours the timer hits 3 minutes. Jin squeezes her hand bringing her back to their world.

“I love you no matter what, Okay Hana” he says softly trying to ease her stress.

“I love you too” she says before taking a deep breath. “I’m ready if you are” she says while standing up avoiding looking at the counter.

“Ready as I’ll ever be” he says as he slowly gets himself up from the ground. Jin leans down and gives her a kiss before grabbing her hand and pulling her to the counter.

The three tests all lay in a line, their eyes scan over all three. Each one with a positive result.

“Oh my goodness Jin!” She yells out before hiding her face into his chest, his expression turns into a happy one as he holds his wife. His arms rub her back as he feels the tears soaking his shirt. He tucks his face into her neck and gives it a kiss.

“We did it baby” he says smiling while placing more and more pecks all around her neck. “We’re having a baby” he cries out, his own tears now running down her neck.

“We gonna be parents” she says as she pulls her head out of his chest trying to meet his eyes as he lifts his head back up.

“I can’t wait for our princess to be here,” Jin says, putting his hands on her flat belly. He kneels down and kisses it, he says a quick hello to the baby before he rises and gives her a kiss.

“Mmmh I think you’re right about a baby girl” she says before returning his kiss.

2 Months

After a month of keeping the news a secret they finally decided to share it with their families. Both sets of parents were over the moon for a grandchild, especially since it was both of their youngest having kids first.

Jin’s brother cried when he heard the news, causing Jin to make fun of him and his soft heart. Though Jin's sister in law and Hana’s sister both started jumping for joy when they found out. Each of them grabbed her belly and asked to help plan the baby shower.

Now with their immediate family knowing the news they finally decided to let his Bangtan family know. Their plan was to slowly give out clues during dinner until someone figured it out.

They were all sitting in the dorm's dining room just about to start to eat, their final additions to the table was all that was left.

“I need some wine, does anyone else want any?” Jungkook asks, making his way towards the kitchen.

Jin cuts him off before he can make it there, “no alcohol Jungkook, Hana can’t have any so don’t tease her” he says putting his arm around her while looking at him from across the room.

“Since when? Didn’t she go out with us not four months ago?” Jimin asks, pouting his lip in confusion.

“Oh this started recently, it’s just for a couple months that I have to stay alcohol free, probably better for everyone” she says shrugging.

The older three eye the couple suspiciously while the younger boys start digging into their food. Jin and Hana give each other a look and let out a quiet laugh before beginning to eat.

Once everyone starts eating they start having conversations amongst themselves, their suspicions lessened as time moved on. Only Yoongi was keeping a strong eye on Hana.

He began to notice how much larger her appetite had been from the last time he saw her, not even a week ago. She was shovelling food into her mouth as pleasantly as she could manage.

Jin catches Yoongi’s eyes as he puts more food on her plate, he whispers something into her ear. From what he could read on his lips he said something along the lines of, eat up, princess needs lots to eat.

“You’re pregnant?!” Yoongi blurts out, catching everyone at the table's attention. The couple stare at him for a moment blankly, before Hana breaks into a laugh and Jin pouts.

“Pay up Jinnie, I told you he’d figure it out first” she says putting her hand out. Jin stands up and goes to his jacket and grabs his wallet. He places a ten thousand won bill into her hand. “Can’t believe you thought Jungkook would figure it out first”

“I had faith in him, I thought he’d know when his playmate was coming!” Jin says, letting out a laugh.

“Wait so you are?” Hoseok’s voice says breaking the couple's banter.

“Yep, we got a bun in the oven” Jin says smiling brightly to his brothers. All the boys excluding Jungkook got up happily and ran to give them hugs and congratulations.

After everyone got their hugs, the couple noticed Jungkook sitting in his seat with a small pout on his face.

“Jungkook, what’s wrong honey?” Hana says walking over to his chair, as she waits for his response she brushes his fingers through his hair.

“I thought I was your baby! I already share you with Jin, now I have to share you with a baby” he says crossing his arms, his face trying to contain the smile he is dying to let out.

“Oh Jungkook,” she says as she leans her head down to his ear and whispers something to him.

“Deal!” He says and then stands up and hugs her. He then rushes over to Jin and squishes him into a hug lifting him up from the ground.

Hana laughs and goes back to her seat and starts to eat again. With the baby she had begun eating double what she used to, normally this early on pregnant ladies couldn’t eat much but she on the other hand could eat a whole horse given the chance.

“Well congrats Jin, I’m very happy that you get to have this opportunity with Hana!” Namjoon says, smiling and holding onto Jin’s shoulder. “If you’d like, I can talk to management with you.” He offers being the leader he is.

“Thanks, we can talk to him together soon.” Jin says, patting his arm. “And thanks for all your guys congratulations, I can’t wait to be a dad and for all of you to be an uncle!” He says to the whole group.

3 Months

Now that Hana had reached the third month of the pregnancy, she had started her second trimester. Now there would be more appointments coming up for the couple to attend. With Jin’s busy schedule he can’t make it to all of them but luckily he could for the most exciting to date.

They could finally listen to the baby's heart beat!

Hana had just reached the start of the second trimester of her pregnancy. Her eating was the same as the first trimester although she could no longer stomach garlic (which made eating at home easier as Jin was already allergic to it).

Jin had become over the moon when he was finally able to come to an appointment with her. He had been so caught up with practicing since the tour was so close, that he didn’t have enough time. But now on a Sunday evening they got the time and went into the clinic to finally see the baby.

Hana had been offered many times during her ultrasounds to see the baby but every time she refused since she wanted Jin to see their baby for the first time at the same time.

Inside the clinic the couple were in one of the rooms along with the sonographer. Hana was laying on the hospital sized bed with her shirt pulled over her still flat belly. The sonographer had the jelly already smoothed out on her stomach; the cold feeling had worn off after the second time.

Jin was eagerly waiting on the bedside with his hand holding hers tightly. His eyes stay locked onto his wife’s figure, never leaving her body, not even when the sonographer talks to them about her habits and feelings.

“I have a feeling you don’t really want to talk to me today” the sonographer says, letting out a laugh as she looks at Jin, only now catching his attention. “Would you like to see your baby?” She asks.

Jin's eyes light up as he looks quickly down to his wife seeing the same light in her eyes. “Yes please!” He says to her while still looking at Hana, he gives her a squeeze on the hand and lifts it up and places a kiss on her knuckles.

The sonographer smiles fondly at the couple as she starts setting the screen up for them to see the baby. She breaks the moment as she places the device back onto her stomach moving it to the right spot, before turning the screen fully for them to see.

“Jin and Hana meet baby Kim” she says as she holds it in place.

“That’s our princess right there Honey!” Jin let’s out, most of it coming out as a soft cry. His eyes have tears threatening to come out.

“There she is,” he whispers as he lowers himself to the bed, his elbows leaning against the bed. He scoops their intertwined hands up with his other one, the ball of hands serve as a hiding place for his face. He lets his tears out into his hands, occasionally kissing any part of her hand he can find.

Hana admires the picture for longer, the blob in a baby shape brings a smile to her face. Tears slowly leave her eyes in happiness, not only from the baby but seeing his reaction.

She knew he had wanted a baby for so long, months into their relationship he had mentioned how much he wanted kids. Unfortunately with his work he didn’t have the time, or the privacy to live out the dream the way he wanted. But he wouldn’t change this experience for the world, he was so happy with everything they had right now.

4 Months

“Jin!” Hana's voice yells out from the kitchen. Since it’s still early in the pregnancy he knows it shouldn’t be something major, as long as it isn’t one of her mood swings that always seem to come when she’s hungry.

“I’m coming Hana!” He yells back as he starts going down the stairs to her voice.

“Well hurry up!” She shouts out sounding a little too grouchy for his liking. His slow walk turns into a jog not wanting to be on her bad side.

“I’m here love, I’m here” he says slightly out of breath as he enters the kitchen. “What is the matter?” He asks, eyeing her figure that is staring into the fridge.

“Where are the pickles?” She whines out turning around to give him a view at her upset face.

Jin walks forward to the fridge to grab the giant jar he bought two days ago for her, “there is a giant jar in there Hana!” He says while searching around the fridge for it. “Where are they?” He whispers out.

“I ate the jar already, now they're all gone.” She says frowning to him, tears spilling from her eyes.

Jin leaps up and brings her into a hug. “Honey it’s okay we can get more pickles!” He whispers into her ear like a sweet nothing, “it’s okay”

“Can we go shopping right now?” She asks while crying into his shoulder.

“Yes we can baby!” He says happily trying to cheer her up.

After a much longer than anticipated shopping trip, Hana has her pickles (enough to last a month at the rate she is going) along with a large tub of ice cream and many many different types of chocolate snacks.

Obviously shopping with a hungry pregnant lady is not the best thing to partake in. But as long as she was content and healthy Jin couldn’t help but be happy.

Jin carries the bags of pickles and chocolate from the trunk of the car into the house. Hana opted to only bring in the ice cream and one singular jar of pickles.

Jin sees Hana already opening the ice cream container as he walks into the kitchen. He laughs seeing the jar of pickles open with a few pickles cut up.

With the pregnancy she seemed to gain some super human abilities of being able to make food at lightning speed. She also was now able to pickle jars with no issues.

She also gained some odd cravings during the pregnancy. The most recent one was pickles and ice cream, but mainly pickles and Strawberry ice cream with chocolate sauce drenched on top.

“Having your usual lunch?” He asks continuing to stuff the pickles into the already filled fridge.

“Mmhmmm” she hums to him, her bowl nearly overflowing with all her ice cream. “Want to try some?” She asks him while reaching around him to get to her chocolate sauce that is in the fridge.

“Are you willing to sacrifice me ice cream and pickles?” He asks skeptically.

“As long as you make sure the fridge is always stocked up then you can have it all the time” she says grabbing another bowl out of the cupboard.

Jin sighs he wasn’t actually planning on trying any since she had never let him even have one singular pickle in the past week. He watches as she prepares him a big helping of ice cream (tiny compared to hers) and places a full pickle worth of slices into the bowl.

She grabs the bowls and brings them to the dining table, Jin follows behind shortly after with the chocolate sauce in hand.

“Eat up hun” she says smiling at him.

“Thanks honey” he says while grabbing his spoon and hesitantly scooping up some of the ice cream, a pickle on top in its glory. His stomach grumbles at the sight, but unlike Hana it is not because he can’t wait to devour it.

“Wait Jinnie! You forgot chocolate sauce” she yells while tipping the sauce over top of his spoon. It lathers the spoonful and covers what was seen before, almost making it easier to get, almost. He waits as she covers the rest of the bowl in the sauce before he even attempts eating it.

He brings the spoon to just outside his mouth, he pauses watching her chomp down on her giant spoonful. Her cheeks flush seeing him watching her as intently as he is.

“Don’t look at me like that, eat it” she says while covering her nearly full mouth.

“I didn’t actually want any,” he says, his ears turning red.

“I know!” She laughs out, “but I thought you might as well have some now, cause if you don’t eat it all I will have it” she smiles at him.

“Have it” he quickly says, pushing his bowl over to her.

“You have to eat the spoonful though” she says seriously.

“Woah calm down, I’ll have it mom” he says raising one arm up over his head and the other up to his mouth.

“Okay let’s see it baby!” She says enthusiastically, making him roll his eyes. “Hey, no attitude! Eat your food now!” She says semi sternly.

He sighs and slowly brings it up to his mouth, he closes his eyes and opens his mouth. His hand waits for a second before her hand starts pushing it faster to his mouth, only a second later the spoonful is fully in his mouth.

One second is all it took to taste the awful mixture.

He gets up and runs off down the hall, Hana can hear his gagging but stays planted in her seat.

“That’s what you get for trying to tease me for my cravings” she mumbles, “more for me” she shrugs and starts eating again.

5 Months

Early Saturday morning Hana was wide awake getting changed into some nice clothes to attend their family gathering later that night. As she was about to button up her blouse she caught sight of herself in the mirror.

Her eyes widened seeing her body, she slid the blouse of her arms and set it down on the bed. She went closer to the mirror to get a better look at her now visible baby bump.

She looks into it sideways to see the curve that her stomach takes. It was hardly noticeable but when looking for the bump it was clear as day.

Their little (possible) princess was now big enough for her to be found, this thought made Hana so happy and emotional. She smiles with teary eyes at her reflection.

Unknown to Hana, Jin is awake and gazing with so much love at her and the baby. He quietly gets out of bed and walks up to her.

As he reaches behind her she can see him in the mirror, she turns her head to him but stays standing the way she was before.

Jin pecks her lightly on the lips and then back hugs her, his head sits on top of her head. His hands cup the very small bump, both of them smile seeing how small “she” still is.

“Jin?” She asks, looking him in his eyes through the mirror. He hums back not wanting to divert his attention from the bump. “This feels like a picture moment,” she says.

He doesn’t respond but when he leaves the room it tells her yes, he is going to get the camera he got years ago that he has been using to document their life together.

After a few minutes he comes back with the camera and a Polaroid camera. She smiles at him knowing he wants the picture for his wallet, currently he has a photo of them on their wedding day, some dates and the ultrasound picture inside.

No words are spoken as the two set up the cameras, neither of them thought through the idea of how to make it look good with the cameras inside the picture.

After many failed attempts filled with bad angles, awkward faces, wrong timing, and horrible camera placement they finally get a few that they can live with.

Jin’s Polaroid caught his favourite picture, Hana didn’t know he was taking the picture so it is just of her cooing at her bump in the mirror.

6 Months

Hana quietly opens the door to the rehearsal room where the boys of bts are practicing for a performance. Jin refused to leave her alone at home after she had been complaining of a headache that morning.

So he brought her into work and took her to the lounge and let her lay down and told her to come see him when she felt better or if she needed anything.

Hana finds a spot along the mirror to sit down and lean against it. Once finding a comfortable way to sit with her now (much bigger) visible bump she watches the boys start practicing ON.

She smiles seeing Jin dancing and lip synching his parts. Half the smile is from seeing him doing what he has grown to love and the other half is the proud feeling of seeing him grow into a great man, and soon to be dad.

While watching them she feels a soft tap on her stomach. Her head whips down to look at her belly, her hands that were already sitting there are now shaking. After a few seconds she feels another little tap close to the same spot. Her shocked expression morphs into a happy face.

She slowly gets up off the ground so she can get Jin. Normally she would never interrupt their training but right now she was too happy to let anything stop her.

“Jin!” She yells out her voice filled with joy. All the boys stop and look over in confusion, but Jin rushes over to her once seeing her very happy expression.

“What is it love?” He asks laying his hand over her hand that rests on her belly. She says nothing as she moves his hand onto the spot where the baby had been kicking.

She looks into his eyes as she feels another one, his face lights up with happiness. His eyes grow wide and look teary knowing the baby is healthy and moving around.

He looks up and pulls her into a tight hug, but not too tight not wanting to crush both of them. He leaves a bunch of kisses over top of her forehead and hair, his excitement very obvious for everyone in the room to see.

All the boys are watching from afar at the couple with a heartwarming feeling seeing their oldest member living out one of all of their life dreams.

Jin let’s go of her slightly and moves one hand from her back to on top of her bump. He chuckles when another kick happens as soon as he touches it.

“She loves me more!” He says sticking his tongue out at her teasingly.

“She spends more time with me so who does she really love more?” She says sticking her tongue out at him mockingly.

“I don’t force her to hang out with me unlike you” he says accusingly.

“I do not!” She says exaggerating her pout. He laughs and pulls her back into a hug. They stay holding each other for a moment until she becomes an emotional wreck for a moment when thinking about the timing.

Jin stands confused while hugging her, his wet spot on his shirt keeps growing making him worried. “Hana what’s wrong?” He asks softly not wanting to set her emotions off again.

She turns her head to the side and puts her head over his heart listening to the beating to calm herself down.

“Princess must have heard the music and wanted to dance like her daddy” Hana says to him in a sad voice making him laugh at her for getting emotional over that. “Don’t make fun of me” she whines which succeeds at making him laugh even harder. This causes him to get a smack on the chest which only hardens his laugh.

Permanent Tag list:

@jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger @softbobamilktae

[official-weasley]

Molly's Wrath (The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley AU)

Warnings: Molly being...well Molly

Word count: 3,502

Characters: Charlie Weasley and my OC Nova from TICW which you can find here

Charlie

“Do you have everything?” I asked the second Nova came down the stairs.

“We're only going to be gone for a few days,” she gave out a gentle smile, “if everything goes well, of course.”

“I don't care what they say, it's our life.” I walked to her and pressed a gentle kiss on her cheek.

“Are you prepared to answer all the questions?”

“Like what?” I asked bemused.

“Like why did it happen, how could you be so irresponsible, where are you going to live and your answer better not be the Sanctuary!” Nova imitated my mum.

“How about I just roll my eyes every time like Ron usually does?” I chuckled.

“Charlie, this is serious!” Nova whined.

“I know you're nervous but you worry too much.” I made her let go of the bag she was holding and wrapped my arms around her in a tight embrace.

“What if they don't approve, what if your mum doesn't approve?” Nova started to panic.

Ever since we found out we are going to have a baby and I mentioned that we might be scolded by my parents for getting pregnant before getting married, Nova has been having a hard time falling asleep and dreading to tell my family.

“And what is she going to do? Ground us?” I giggled.

“What if...what if...” Nova's lip started to tremble, her gaze on the wall next to us.

“What if what, love?” I tilted my head, hoping she will look me in the eyes.

“What if she makes us give her away?” Nova whispered.

“Her?” I gasped. “We're having a girl?!” I exclaimed. “How do you know?”

“I-I don't.” Nova smiled sheepishly. “I just have a feeling it's a girl. I can't quite explain it.”

We haven't been to St Mungo's yet as Madam Finch suggested us to go but we made an appointment and we are going there after our visit to the Burrow. The night after we found out about the baby, we discussed if we would like to know the gender and we both agreed that we would like it to be a surprise – we would be happy whether it's a boy or a girl.

I was certain that I would be as happy having a daughter as having a son but now that Nova said she thinks it's a girl, I couldn't help but hope for it to be true. I have 6 siblings, only one being a girl so when I imagined having a family with Nova I first thought of a girl that looks just like her.

I couldn't stop my lips from curving into a smile imagining a little Nova running around our living room, giggling as I am chasing after her, trying to tickle her while Nova is sitting on the sofa and laughing at our shenanigans.

“Char? You with me?” Nova waving her hand in front of my face brought me back from my daydreaming.

“Huh, yeah.”

“What were you thinking about?” Nova pressed her lips together not to chuckle.

“Oh, nothing. Just us having a girl.” I scratched the back of my head, feeling the heat on my cheeks.

“You're adorable, do you know that.” She ruffled my hair and kissed me on the lips before starting toward the door.

“Nova, wait.” I reached for her hand to stop her.

Her saying that we're going to have a girl made me completely forgot about her worries about telling my family.

“C'mon, Char. We can daydream later.” She chuckled. “We have to go if we don't want to miss our portkey and you know I don't want to know what apparition will do to my stomach. I already don't like apparating.”

“I just don't want you to go there all worried, thinking that my mum will make you give up the baby. She will probably be mad but she loves children and has been nagging us to make her a grandmother for years.” I tried calming her.

“I know, but Molly is also very traditional and I got pregnant before we got married.” “And you'll give birth after we get married. Problem solved!” I lifted my hands in the air, enthusiastically.

“Right.” Nova's eyes were narrowed, still skeptical of my optimism.

“Your mum was happy about it.” I won't stop giving her reasons for her not to worry.

“No,” Nova giggled, “my mum was ecstatic.”

“Exactly! My mum will be just as happy.” I rubbed my chin. “If your mum didn't tell her yet.”

Nova's mum visited us a few days ago and since it was the day after we found out we decided to tell her. Well, Nova more or less blurted it out because she couldn't hold in the excitement and Olivia would find out sooner or later, because she always knew when we were trying to keep a secret.

To say that she was happy to have a grandchild was an understatement. She already asked if we need anything, offered to move to Romania so she could babysit, started to lecture Nova about all the baby things she has to know before she gives birth, and of course, cried her eyes out along with her daughter.

“We made her swear.” Nova sounded confident that for once, our mums won't tell each other everything about us that the other doesn't know.

“You made her pinky promise, love.” I bestowed her with a soft smile.

“Hey, those a serious!” Nova laughed.

“We're going to be fine. Now, come on.” I kissed her one more time and gestured for us to leave our home.

—

The second the portkey transported us to the hill at the Burrow I began to feel nervous. Nova grabbed my hand to get my attention and nodded toward the tree where I surprised her with a midnight picnic all those years ago.

I smiled at the memory that rolled in front of my eyes. We barely started dating back then and now we lived together, were about to get married, and had a baby on the way. Sometimes I still need to pinch myself to know that this is my real life as I never imagined it to be so perfect.

“There they are!” The second we stepped through the door my mum pulled us both in a tight hug.

I looked at Nova, who looked paler than usual and I knew that her nerves were getting the better of her.

I knew at once that all of my siblings were probably playing Quidditch outside and as much I was would like to join them, I found this a perfect opportunity for us to tell my parents the news alone.

“So, how's the planning going?” My dad asked the second we sat down in the living room.

“We're on a tight schedule but we're managing,” Nova said, covering her mouth with the cup of tea my mum brewed.

“What Nova is trying to say is that she can't decide which of the girls will be her maid of honor.” I chuckled and took a sip of my tea.

“You still haven't decided!” My mum returned from the kitchen, looking perplexed.

Nova swallowed thickly and shook her head slowly.

“But you're less than 10 days away from the wedding.” My mum forgot how to close her mouth.

“They are coming to visit us in a few days and they'll discuss it then. Right, love?” I put my hand over Nova's to make her stop having a mini panic attack.

“Yeah.” She nodded quickly and started blowing on her tea to distract herself.

Nova has never been afraid or intimidated by my mum. On the contrary – she saw her as a mother figure and it always meant a lot to me that they get along so well. But ever since we announced the date of our wedding, my mum has been sending her letters non-stop about how she should do and arrange everything.

Nova, of course, couldn't bother with so many things because we wanted to keep it as simple and as minimalistic as possible. So picking out the right napkin color and the right flowers was something that just didn't concern her. The second she mentioned that to my mum – making a mistake of telling her that she doesn't need all that even though she appreciates her help – my mum raised her voice at her for the first time since they were introduced at King's Cross when we were 12.

Nova knew that Molly was just excited and that she didn't mean anything bad by saying a few things a tad too loud. Nonetheless, now every time we visit or she gets a letter from her, she becomes nervous and acts like a child waiting to be scolded by their mother.

I talked to her about it and she said that she just can't help it – saying that she loves my family so much and wants the wedding to be perfect for everybody. She has calmed down a bit over the last month but knowing we would have to do a lot of things last minute, she was still a bit shaky.

“Did you at least talk to Bill yet?” My mum asked another question after a moment of silence.

“No,” Nova mumbled.

“She is going to talk to Bill when he will accompany her to her dad's grave tomorrow,” I answered for her.

“I just don't understand why do you have to do everything so last minute.” Mum sighed.

“They're busy, Molly. Give them a break.” Dad said gently, then turned to me and sent me a wink. “I am sure the wedding will be just lovely.”

“Of course, it will be lovely. We have been waiting for this for years.” Mum pursed her lips.

“Speaking of waiting for something for years.” I cleared my throat. “We have something else to tell you.”

“Oh, more exciting news?” Dad jumped in his seat.

“We're...”

“Oh, thank Merlin, you're finally moving!” Mum clapped her hands together, interrupting me.

“No.” I shook my head.

“Molly, let them finish.” Dad put an arm around mum's shoulder, shaking her a little.

“Why not?” Mum completely ignored dad's gesture and furrowed her brows.

“Mum...”

“Haven't we been through this?”

“Can you just listen...”

“You can't live in that Sanctuary forever, Charles.” She kept interrupting me.

Dad sighed, shrugged, and tried to calm me down with a faint smile. I glanced at Nova, who was nervously tapping her foot and biting the inner side of her cheek, her eyes on my mum.

“Mum, please...” I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“I didn't say you have to come back home but nobody's going to tell me that there isn't a village in the apparition distance where you could find a nice house and...”

“I'm pregnant!” Nova blurted out, leaving my mum speechless.

“You're...” Mum's eyes kept switching between me and Nova, her mouth slightly opened.

“We're going to be grandparents!” My dad got up so abruptly that he almost knocked over the coffee table.

He walked to Nova, looking at her tummy, teary-eyed, and pulled her into the tightest hug I think she has ever gotten from him.

“Congratulations.” He whispered in her ear before letting her go and coming to me to do the same. “Do you know the gender yet?” He asked excitedly and I shook my head.

“Molly, come on, say something.” Dad wiped his eyes and sat back down.

“What's the rush?” She said under her breath.

“What?” I asked, incredulously.

“What's the sudden rush? What happened to 'no mum, we aren't ready to have kids yet, let us enjoy life'?” Her voice rising.

“You're the one that nagged us about making you a grandmother!” My brows came together and I raised my voice at her.

“This wasn't planned, was it?” She hissed at me, ignoring my comment.

“Molly, calm down. We should be happy for them.” Dad extended his hand to prevent her from standing up.

“Planned?” I let out a laugh. “Like Bill was planned? Like I was?”

Mum gasped but said nothing.

“We're not even two weeks away from the wedding, what does it matter?” We all turned to Nova now.

“She's right, Molly. They are getting married and they are starting a family. It's all you talk about since they got engaged.” Dad tried calming mum down one more time.

“But they are not ready, Arthur!” Mum turned to dad, giving him an angry look. “They don't even know how to plan a wedding, let alone have a baby. They live amongst the most dangerous beasts not even thinking about moving! How can you be supportive of this?”

“Molly, that's enough!” That was the second time I have ever heard my dad raise his voice.

The only other time was when the twins nearly burned down the house in my second year.

“They are adults, they both have a good job and they can take care of themselves, right?” Dad's frown disappeared when he looked at us.

“Y... Excuse me.” Nova put her hand over her mouth and got up.

“Nova...”

“It's alright, Char. I got it.” She said as she disappeared on the stairs.

“She already has morning sickness?” If I didn't know any better, I would say that that was concern in my mum's voice.

“Oh, now you want to know more?” I rolled my eyes and stood up. “I need some fresh air.”

“Charlie, wait.” Dad made me stop walking as he closed the front door behind us.

“No, dad. I'm sick of this. She never listens and she has never been supportive.” I sighed and leaned against the wall next to the door. “She shouted at me for 3 hours when I made my final decision to move to Romania and she sent Bill a Howler when he accepted the job in Egypt. I have enough of this.”

“I know. I'm sorry.” Dad put a hand on my shoulder.

“You have nothing to apologize for, dad. You have supported us all in everything we ever did.”

“She will come around. The news just caught her off guard. You have to know that you and Nova starting a family has been the main topic of our conversations for months.” Dad smiled at me.

“Then why did she throw such a tantrum? Why can't anything ever be easy with her?” I frowned, trying to keep my voice down.

“You and Nova remind her of us when we were your age. Yes, it's no secret that neither you nor Bill were planned,” dad's cheeks turned scarlet, “and we struggled to get everything in order. Your mother is just worried because she doesn't want you to go through the same thing. She wouldn't trade you two boys for anything in the world but she wishes she would be more prepared and she just doesn't want you to struggle as we did.”

“But we won't. We might not know everything about babies but we are willing to learn. Olivia said she will send Nova some books and we have an appointment at St Mungo's tomorrow and yes, we didn't plan to have a baby quite so soon but dad,” I took a deep breath, “you should've seen us when the test showed a plus. We were so excited. We might not be the most knowledgable but I know we are ready for this.”

“I know you are, son,” dad pulled me into a hug, “you're going to make great parents.”

“Thanks, dad.” I couldn't stop the grin from spreading all over my face. It meant the world coming from him.

“Parents?” We broke apart when we heard voices behind us.

Ginny, Fred, George, and Ron were looking at us, their mouths wide open, brooms in their hands.

“I'm...I'm going to be an aunt?!” Ginny started shaking from excitement.

“We're going to be uncles!” Fred and George said in unison.

“Is Nova really pregnant?” Ron smiled and I nodded.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Fred dropped his broom and stepped to where dad and I were standing.

“We want it to be a surprise, so we don't know.” I chuckled.

“Fred, I will bet you 3 Galleons that it's a boy.” George turned to his twin, offering him his hand to shake.

“You're on!” Fred shook it at once.

“I want to bet too!” Ron appeared next to the twins. “I think it's going to be a boy too!”

“I think it's going to be a girl!” Ginny lifted her chin confidently.

“Ginny, you don't even have 3 Galleons.” George laughed.

“I don't need them, because I am going to win.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Are you going to bet too, dad?” I turned to him.

“Why not!” Dad shrugged. “I'm with Ginny.”

One by one my siblings hugged and congratulated me before grabbing their brooms and running towards the shed.

“I'm going to check up on Nova.” I turned to my dad.

“You do that, son. I'll talk to your mother.” He opened the door for us.

I ran up the stairs, stopping in front of the bathroom to catch my breath, ready to knock on the door when I heard voices inside.

“Let it all out, dear.” I heard my mum say gently, Nova vomiting. “There you go. Almost there, you're doing great.”

“Thank you, Molly,” Nova said as she flushed.

“I think I owe you an apology.”

“It's okay. I understand that this isn't ideal.”

“No, it's not okay. I know I made Charlie very upset and I didn't even ask you how you feel about it.” Mum sighed.

“I want a family with Charlie but I always bottled it, telling myself it's not the right time and that we should wait. When we were walking to the store to get the test I panicked because I wasn't sure how I would feel if the test showed that I was pregnant. But as we were waiting for it to show the result, the excitement in my chest growing, I knew that I would be sad if we would see a minus and Charlie wanted it to be positive too and when we finally looked we were so happy. We both want this and it feels right.”

“It really does.” I heard my mum move as Nova started vomiting again. “There you go. You can do this.”

“I am sorry. I should have approached the situation differently.” Mum said after a few seconds of silence when Nova stopped once again.

“Perhaps.” Nova let out a chuckle.

“I just don't want you and Charlie to be like me and Arthur. We had no idea what we were doing when Bill was born and we had no one to help us.” Mum inhaled and exhaled sharply.

“But we have you and my mum and we are eager to learn as much as we can before the baby arrives.”

“I know. It's different. You'll manage just fine.”

I knocked on the door, deciding to stop eavesdropping.

“Can I come in?”

I heard my mum stand up and unlock the door.

“Of course, Charlie.” She said gently, avoiding my eyes.

I sat down next to Nova and kissed her forehead.

“How are you feeling?” I whispered.

“I think it's going to end soon.” She smiled gently.

“It's better than yesterday then.” I tried being positive.

“Oh, definitely. Yesterday we camped in the bathroom.” She giggled.

“We are going to the healers tomorrow. They'll tell you if you can expect this to end any time soon.” I pressed my lips against her forehead again, stroking her hair.

I looked up at my mum, who was standing silently at the door, smiling and tears in her eyes.

“Mum? What's wrong?”

“Oh, nothing!” She swung her hand while wiping her eyes with her other one before kneeling next to us. “I am so sorry, Charles.” She sobbed. “I was wrong. You are ready and you will be so great at this. Congratulations!”

I pushed Nova gently off me and hugged my mum. After dad calming me down and hearing mum talking to Nova, I decided not to hold any grudges. I understand that she just wants the best for us but sometimes doesn't know how to show it properly.

“It's okay, mum. You just need to learn to think before you speak and just listen to us.” I said nonchalantly.

“I know. I am working on it.” She nodded even though I knew she felt called out.

“Does your mum know already?” She turned to Nova after she flushed the toilet again.

“Yes, we told her a few days ago.” Nova smiled.

“Oh, I am going to go and write her a letter.” My mum clapped excitedly and left the bathroom.

“They will probably discuss if it's a boy or a girl.” Nova giggled and I followed because I knew that that was exactly what will be the main topic of their correspondence until our baby is born.

[wiypt-writes]

Riding High

Ch21: The Truth ‘Bill’ Out…

Chapter Summary: Fliss and Frank both struggle to deal with the aftermath of their break up.

 Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

 Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

 A/N: Ok, I’m sorry I upset you with the last chapter… 

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 20

Take a shot in the rain, one for the pain, and listen up

Frank woke the next morning fully clothed on the sofa. Squinting, he groaned at the pain in his head, scrambling to find his phone. As he swiped it to cancel his alarm, his thumb paused as he glanced at the photo of Fliss and Mary on the screen. Swallowing he turned the screen off, tossed his phone onto the table and pushed himself up, trudging to the shower. 

He had spent most of the night drinking the expensive scotch his mother had bought him, trying to understand what had happened. He had tried to call Fliss, messaged her but her response had been a single text telling him she was sorry and requesting that he respect her decision. The worst thing had been trying to explain to Mary. Frank didn't believe in lying to her, certainly not if he could help it, but he had completely chickened out and told her that Fliss had some paperwork to do and would be staying at the annex for the night. Mart had accepted this, and it had bought him enough time to figure out what the fuck he was going to say. 

He stumbled into the shower and then decided that the state his head was in he wasn't going to function in work. So once he was dried and had awoken Mary, he called his supervisor and said he had a migraine so wouldn't be in. He then made Mary a sandwich and then once she was packed off on the bus he turned and headed back home. 

Once in the living room he looked around. It was littered with reminders of her. Photos, a hoody draped over the back of the chair, those fucking scatter cushions on the sofa. It was screaming at Frank to get rid if it all, but he couldn't. Not yet. He was still clinging to something desperate hope that she would come back, explaining what had happened and they'd work through it. 

And then there was a knock at the door. He paused for a moment, before it opened and a familiar voice called his name.

"Frank? Son?"

He turned to face Bill as he walked through the door.

"She sent you for her stuff?" Frank asked and Bill eyed him for a moment before he shook his head.

"No. She hasn't. And, well even if she asked me to come get it I wouldn't...this is her mess, not mine."

Frank looked at him for a moment before he shrugged and headed into the kitchen grabbing the coffee from the cupboard.

"So what are you here for, Bill?"

"Honestly?" Bill raised his eyebrows, "to see how you were..."

"Fucking marvellous." Frank said, slamming the cupboard shut. "M’girlfriend's left me, giving me no reason, I'm hungover to shit and at some point today I gotta figure out what I tell Mary."

 He leaned back against the kitchen counter and pinched his nose before he scrubbed his hand down his face.

"How is she?" Frank looked at Bill. Bill sighed and shook his head.

"Hardly said a word since she came home yesterday evening." Bill shrugged. "Other than to tell she had ended things with you, that it was her decision and she wasn't going into it."

"She didn’t go into it with me either so..." Frank snorted, shaking his head. "So if you've come to find out what’s going on I can't help you because I don’t know."

"No, honestly Frank...I meant it when I said I came to see how you were. V and I were worried..."

Frank was about to shoot some sarcastic response back but when he saw Bill's face was arranged with genuine concern he simply shrugged and looked down, shaking his head.

"I love her, Bill...and I thought things were going great. I just don't understand."

With a sigh Bill stepped forward and gripped Frank's shoulder.

"I'm really mad at her Frank." Bill sighed. "But I know she’s hurting too...don't give up on her. Not just yet."

Frank scratched at his head as Bill released his grip on his shoulder. "She made it quite clear she doesn’t want to see me or talk to me.”

"She doesn’t know what she wants" Bill shook his head. "All am asking is that you at least try to talk to her."

"I need time too, Bill." Frank sighed. "I'm angry and upset myself. I can't face her yet. It’s gonna be bad enough taking Mary up to see Monty..."

"I know." Bill nodded. “And if you ever want me to take Mary instead so you don’t have to, certainly for the time being, I'm happy to do so."

Frank nodded. “Thanks Bill."

"Well you know where to find me." Bill shrugged as he took a deep breath. “Look, you know me and Verity love you and Mary, we really do. Verity’s besides herself at the possibility you’re not gonna be in our lives again, and-“

He trailed off and Frank saw a flicker of worry flash across the older man's face.

"Bill..." Frank shook his head gently. "I'll not stop you and Verity seeing Mary. As long as you're happy to do so. I just, well I just don’t want it to be awkward for you and Fliss, meaning there's to be a point later where you leave her life too. She’s had enough turmoil over the last twelve months to last a lifetime ..."

"No I get that." Bill nodded. “And thanks Frank. You're a good man."

Frank nodded and Bill gave him another small smile before he turned and headed out.

 ***** Mary didn’t take the news brilliantly, as Frank had anticipated. She’d teared up and asked Frank why Fliss wanted to leave them, to which Frank had answered as honestly as he could, that he simply didn’t know but that it was nothing to do with her. And then she’d surprised him by saying, for the first time ever that she didn’t want to go to Roberta’s that night, but she wanted to stay with him. They ordered pizza and watched a film, huddled together on the sofa. She didn’t mention Fliss again other than to say she didn’t want to go for her riding lesson either the next day, instead saying she would go during the week. Out of courtesy more than anything Frank messaged Fliss to let her know. After an hour or so she replied simply to tell him that it was fine and she would make sure he was looked after.

Monday morning rolled around and Frank was glad of the distraction if he was honest, burying himself into his work. And during the day he was ok because his mind was busy but in the evening, after Mary had gone to bed and he himself was getting ready to hit the sack, he found himself simply staring at Fliss’s toothbrush and toiletries. Unable to look at them anymore he grabbed the various bottles of stuff belonging to her and placed them all in one of the wicker boxes held under the sink in the unit.

Tuesday evening he spent with Simon and Greg. Simon had heard from Bonnie what had happened when she had called Fliss. Simon informed Frank that Fliss had refused to talk to Bonnie about it and just asked the woman to leave it alone. They had a few beers, talked, it was a good distraction for a while but again once they left, Frank was alone with his thoughts and an aching in his chest.

And it wasn’t just his thoughts. It was the physical reminders. As well as the photos and cushions, there was the dog basket in the bedroom that belonged to Thor, when he decided to sleep on it and not Mary’s bed that is. Fliss’ favourite mug, the blue and gold shimmering wine glasses they’d bought at IKEA, her clothes in the fucking closet. Frank had no idea what he was supposed to do. Did he pack it up and take it to her, or wait for her to come and claim it?

Wednesday morning Mary told him she wanted to go and see Mary so Frank nodded. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. On the one hand he was happy he’d at least get to see Fliss, maybe they could have a reasonable conversation but on the other he knew seeing her was going to tear him in two. He also was a little worried how Mary was going to react. He called Fliss, and unsurprisingly she didn’t pick up. But she did call him back a little after lunch.

“Hi.” he said, a little nervously as he answered.

“HI.” she replied quietly “I err, I had a call so…”

“Oh, yeah, erm, Mary wants to come up and see Monty so I wanted to make sure it was ok.” “Of course its ok.” she said gently, “Frank, I’d never stop her coming up to see her pony.”

 “No I know that, I just…” Frank took a deep breath, “It doesn’t matter, we’ll see you later.” “Ok, erm, bye.” “Yeah, bye.”

He cut the call, his throat was dry and he felt like his heart was about to pound out through his chest. And that had been simply at the sound of her voice. It had been a week since he’d heard it and now it had knocked him for six. And suddenly he wasn’t looking forward to seeing her at all.

****** Fliss tossed her phone down and ran her hands over her face. She was tired. Since moving back into the annex she hadn’t been sleeping properly, having nightmares for the first time in almost a year. She wasn’t eating either and she was continually snapping at her parents too as they were crowding her she felt. Almost as much as when she had left Boston. She knew they were simply concerned, as was Bonnie but she just simply wanted to be left alone. She was hurting too, leaving Frank had killed her, it was the worst thing she had ever been through, worse than any beating John had inflicted on her.

She also knew at some point she was going to have to face him, go round and collect her stuff. Her mum and dad had made it quite clear they weren’t going to bail her out on that one, which was understandable she guessed. They were upset too, her dad especially as he was very close to Frank, and they both loved Mary as if she was their own grandchild.

It wasn’t just her own life or Frank’s she’d thrown into chaos, it was theirs too.

She wiped at her eyes, stood up and headed out into the late October sun, striding over to the paddock as she rolled her shoulder which was sore from the tumble out of bed she’d taken in the middle of the night. It was her dodgy shoulder, the one John had dislocated as part of one of his beatings, so she knew that was going to be troubling her for a good week or so now she’d jarred it again. But in some sick, twisted way she relished the pain. A physical manifesto of the agony she was feeling inside.

She had three clients that afternoon, so the time whizzed by and before she knew it it was half four and Mary would be arriving any second. She turned and headed into her office, trying to calm herself down, feeling her anxiety spiking. Thor, having sensed it, gently nuzzled his nose onto her lap as he always did and she sat for a quiet fifteen minutes simply breathing and stroking his soft head and ears, glad he was giving her something of a grounding. And then his ears pricked up as he caught the familiar sound of Frank’s truck and giving a low whine of excitement he shot off across the yard.

Taking a deep breath Fliss stood up and walked out of her office and saw Frank walking onto the main courtyard, Mary’s hand in his.

“HI…” Fliss greeted him a little tentatively, and he gave her a small smile, his eyes hidden behind his aviators.

“Hi.” he said gently.

“HI Mary.” Fliss looked at her and Mary glanced up, before she looked away.

“Hi.” she replied a little stiffly. Fliss swallowed and then took a deep breath.

“Do you want to ride today or…” “No.” Mary shook her head “Not with you.” “Mary.” Frank looked down at her “Remember what I said in the truck…”

Mary took a deep breath and looked down at her feet, her boots kicking at the slate gravel which covered the yard before she looked up at Fliss “I just want to do my jobs and brush him today.” “Okay, well, he’s in the pasture. Do you want me to come-“ “I’ll ask Joanna.” Mary said, as she let go of Frank’s hand.

“She’s in the back barn, tell her I sent you.” Mary didn’t reply, she simply headed off.

“She’s upset.” Frank explained as he watched her go. He turned to Fliss and shrugged “She’ll come round.”

Fliss gave him a small smile. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

“No, I’m good, thanks.” he shook his head “Think I’m gonna go with Stack, actually.” “Sure.” Fliss nodded, “I’ll be in the office. If she needs me or changes her mind about riding, just…” Frank gave her a tight smile again before he headed off.

Fliss watched him leave, claiming her hand over her mouth tightly before she pinched the bridge of her nose, screwing up her eyes to try and stem the tears which were threatening to come. Composing herself she turned and headed back into her office and started to busy herself with some lesson plans.

It was about forty minutes later when there was a knock at the door and Frank poked his head in.

“We’re gonna get off.” he said, “Do you want Monty back out or…”

“No, it’s fine.” she stood up “I’ll do it later once he’s been fed.” At that he nodded, turning to go.

“Is Mary ok?” Fliss asked and Frank stopped. He took a deep breath and turned to face her.

“What do you think?” Frank’s voice was a little harsher than it had been before and Fliss hung her head.

“Sorry. Can I talk to her.” “Be my guest.” he shrugged, turning once more to leave “Not sure it will do you much good.”

Fliss rose from her chair, her hands shaking a little as she headed out after him. Mary was packing her brushes back in the little box kept by Monty’s stable.

“Hey.” Fliss greeted her “Was he a good boy?” “He’s always a good boy.” Mary shrugged, standing up and stroking his nose.

“That’s true.” Fliss said, her hands slipping into the pockets of her breeches. “So, do you want to ride at weekend? We can try that jumping…”

"Why don't you love me or Frank anymore?" Mary cut her off, spinning to face her. Fliss felt her heart break even further as she looked at the little girl who was staring at her, her large eyes wide and wet with tears. "No, no Mary..." she crouched down and looked at the girl. "I do. I do love you, I love you so much, I just..." "You just don't love Frank anymore?" Fliss took a deep breath, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I'll always love Frank." "Then why did you leave our home?" Mary began to sob. "What did he do?" "Mary." Fliss shook her head "I just had to. I wish I could explain it better but I can't. You're too young to..." "Stop saying that!" Mary yelled and she spun round, pointing at Frank who had up until that point had been stood at the door to the barn, deliberately looking the other way. Hearing her outburst he turned in time to see Mary raise her hand towards him. "He keeps telling me that too, but I'm not stupid! Why do you both keep treating me like I am?" "Mary..." Frank said softly as he strode towards her. "Come on..." "I hate you.” Mary glared at Fliss who looked as though she has been physically slapped. Her head dropped and she looked down at the floor taking a deep breath. "Mary." Frank shook his head "Don’t say that." "I do." Mary's face was full of rage "She made you cry, she made me cry! She promised she would always be there and now she's not and..." "Okay." He said gently, crouching down in front of her, a meter or so away from Fliss. "I get that you're angry but be kind huh?” "Why should I?" Mary shook her head. "Because I'm asking ya to." Frank said softly. "I told you before on the way here that this..." he gestured with his hand between himself and Fliss, his eyes flicking to the woman's face as she wiped a tear from her cheek, “us breaking up...it doesn’t mean that Fliss doesn't care about you." "If she did she wouldn't be leaving me!" Mary blazed and at that point Frank shook his head. "It’s me she's leaving Stack, not you."

 Fliss took a deep breath and stood up, turning away, her hand covering her mouth. Frank glanced up at her before he turned to Mary.

"Go wait in the truck." He said to her gently "I won’t be be long"

Mary shot one last look at Fliss before she did as Frank had said and headed off out of the barn and disappeared out of sight.

"Sorry." Frank looked at Fliss as she turned to face him "She shouldn't have said that."

"It doesn't matter..." Fliss shook her head avoiding his gaze. "She’s every right to be angry. I have let her down."

"I think it might be best, certainly for the foreseeable if you take care of Monty." Frank kept his voice even and Fliss looked up at him, a mix of sadness and surprise on her face.

"But he is her pony..."

"Oh come on Fliss." He snorted and shook his head. “Surely you can't be that naive as to think that thinks could just carry on..."

"No but..."

"How can I bring her here if every time she comes she’s gonna react like that?" Frank ran his hand through his hair. “It's me that has to deal with the fall out and I'm struggling to deal with my own feelings at the moment"

 “Okay, if that’s what you want…” “No, I don’t want!” Frank shook his head. “I don’t want any of this, but you’ve made it perfectly clear you do and I’ll respect that. I just wish you respected me enough to tell me why.” “Frank, please…” “You left, with no explanation, other than it wasn’t working, but there’s more to it, I can see it written on your face.” his voice was level but his jaw was twitching “Don’t you think I have a right to know?” Fliss tipped her head back and looked up at the sky, blinking back her tears as he continued.

“How would you feel if I had walked out on you, with nothing more than some shitty explanation about it not working and needing space, when a month before we’d been planning for a future together? Fliss, I wanted to marry you, spend my forever with you and…” He trailed off, shaking his head looking around “I’ve spent the last week in a daze, I lay awake at night trying to understand and I just can’t…and that’s the worst bit.” Fliss looked down at her feet and shook her head softly.

“And that’s all you can do or say?” Frank snorted “Absolutely fucking nothing?”

“I’m sorry.” she looked at him, her eyes full of tears “I really am.”

“Yeah, well, so am I.” he said simply, “let me know when you want to collect your stuff from the apartment, I’ll make sure it’s ready.” and with that he turned and left.

*****

“I think it’s the fuel line…” Bill walked back into the office where Fliss and Verity were sat having a coffee whilst he had been taking a look at Fliss’ wagon. It was early Friday evening and she’d wanted nothing more than to load Heidi up and take her for a blast down the beach to clear her mind, but when she had gone to start the wagon to move it out so she could load up her tack it had refused to start. “But I can’t be certain. Not something I can sort really…you’ll need a mechanic.” he turned to look at her “If only you knew one…” “Don’t start Dad.” Fliss shook her head. “Just…”

“Bill…” Verity gave him a warning glare, and Bill simply took a deep breath, shaking his head.

“I’ll speak to Alan, see if he knows a decent one that can come look at it.”

“Thanks.” Fliss said, standing up “I’m gonna go check the fields. Can you just throw the keys back in the drawer?”

“Sure, see you at home yeah?”

She nodded, called Thor to her and headed out.

Bill shook his head and moved to open the drawer to the desk. He tossed the keys inside, and then frowned as he saw the manila envelope that was stuffed inside.

“What is it?” Verity asked.

“That…that’s a Boston post mark….” he mumbled, lifting it out. With a frown, knowing full well there was only one person really from Boston that would be sending Fliss stuff, he turned it over and pulled out the printed photograph. His eyes scanned it and he let out an angry noise and strode out into the courtyard.

“Fliss!” he bellowed “Fliss, get back here right now…” “What’s going on?” Verity asked, and he thrust the photo at her by means of an explanation.

Fliss, having heard her dad shouting stopped dead and turned back to look at the office. She glanced down at Thor before she turned back and headed towards him.

“What’s…” she stopped dead as she saw the envelope on the desk and the photo in her mother’s hand.

“Care to explain this?” Bill said, snatching the paper out of Verity’s fingers and slamming it down on the desk."

"You had no right to go looking through my stuff." she looked at him, angrily.

 "Oh cut the crap, Liss." Bill shook his head “When did you get that?”

“Last Wednesday.” she said softly.

“Last Wednesday?” Verity frowned, “that was the day you finished with Frank…” she trailed off as the dots connected in her head as Fliss looked down at the floor. “Oh please tell me I’m wrong…” 

Fliss didn’t respond.

“I cannot believe you.” Bill looked at her “This? This is why you ended it? Over some pathetic threat without even telling him?"

"It isn’t pathetic!" Fliss looked up at her dad, her eyes blazing. "I know what he is capable of..."

"Well in that case don't you think Frank has the right to know?" Bill glared at her. "If you believe Mary is in danger then you should have told Frank and gone to the police..."

Fliss swallowed and looked down, shaking her head "I know John. This is about having control over me. If he thinks he’s won he will leave them alone…”

"You’re so fucking stupid." Bill sighed.

“Bill…” Verity spoke gently, trying to calm him down but he was too far gone to listen.

"You've let him win Liss, after everything you went through….”

"This isn’t about him winning!" Fliss practically screamed "This about keeping Mary and Frank safe...not only from him but…well, can you imagine what Frank would have done if he’d seen that?"

“So have you rung John and told him you've done what he wants?"

“Of course I fucking haven't"

"No fault whatsoever in your logic there, huh Titch..." Bill snorted, sarcastically "Tell me, how exactly do you expect him to know it’s over?"

 Fliss looked at her dad for a moment, floundering for a response. But she didn’t have one.

"Frank has a right to know about that photo, and more so he deserves to understand why you walked out on him." Bill shook his head, as Verity gently placed a hand on his arm. 

“"If you wanna discuss rights then I don’t have the right to put a target on his or Mary’s back.” Fliss screamed back before she took a deep breath, shaking her head “Now I’m going for a walk. See you at home.”

Bill watched as she left the office, an angry noise escaping from his throat.

“You were a bit hard on her there Billy.” Verity said, looking at him.

“She needed it.” Bill sighed. He placed both his hands on the desk and hung his head slightly “I can’t believe she’s been so stupid.” “She’s scared.” Verity said gently “She’s not thinking straight…” “You can say that again.” he looked at the photo for a second before he reached out and grabbed it, shoving it back in the envelope. He paused for a second, holding it in his hand before he turned to Verity “And I’m not standing for it…come one” “Where are we going?” Verity called after him as they made their way towards his car.

“To find Frank.” “Bill, we can’t…” Verity shook her head “If we go behind her back…” “Then you can wait in the car Verity.” he looked at her. “I don’t care what she says anymore, I’m not standing back and watching her throw anymore of her life away over that ass hole. And that aside, Frank has a right to know. So seeing as she’s too fucking stubborn to do it herself, then I’m gonna do it for her.”

***** “Thought I might find you here.”

Frank turned to look at Bill as he slid into the seat at the opposite side of the table to him in Ferg’s.

“Yeah well, not like I got much else to do.” Frank shrugged, taking a drink from his bottle.

“How many have you had?” Bill asked

“What are you my dad?” Frank shot back, turning to glare at him. Bill merely raised his eyebrows in response and Frank sighed, shaking his head.

“Sorry…” he took a deep breath “This is my first. Not been here long”

“Good. You're still sober enough to think straight.” “Think straight about what?” Frank frowned. After a second or so pause Bill reached into his pocket and slid an envelope across the surface of the table.

“What’s this?” Frank frowned.

“An explanation.” Bill sighed, “Well, of sorts anyway.” Frank looked at him, frowning before he placed his bottle down and picked the envelope up. He pulled out the paper from inside and glanced down at it. As soon as he saw the message typed out he felt the heat rise up his neck and into his face, anger flooding his system.

“Fuck.” Frank said loudly, shaking his head “He sent this?” Bill nodded.

“And this...this is why she broke it off?” “She thought if she finished it, gave John what he wanted as in to make her life a fucking misery, that he’d back off and it would mean you and Mary were safe.” Frank ran his hand through his hair “Why the fuck didn't she tell me?” “Because she was scared. Scared of what he would do and scared of your reaction” “My reaction?”

“Tell me you’re not thinking about hunting the fucker down and killing him yourself.” Bill looked at him and Frank looked away.

“If it wasn’t for Mary I’d have done that months ago.” he shook his head.

“Exactly. She was worried that this might have been that step that pushed you over the edge.” Bill shrugged. “Look, I’m not saying she’s right... in fact I’ve told her the opposite but, well, I just thought you had a right to know.”

“Can I keep this?” Frank asked after a moment’s pause “Regardless of what Fliss says, I’m taking this to the police this time.” “By all means.” Bill said. “But they’ll want to speak to Fliss so…”

“Tough.” Frank shrugged. “Now he’s pulled Mary into it I’m not fucking about anymore Bill.”

Bill nodded and stood up, clapping him on the shoulder. “Don’t think too badly of her Frank. I know she’s fucked up but she did think she was doing the right thing. We do stupid things to protect the people we love, as you know only too well.” Frank looked up at him and then back down to the photo. Bill turned to leave before he stopped and looked back over his shoulder.

“By the way, she’ll be at the yard.” He said, locking eyes with Frank. “Probably for another hour or so if the last week has been anything to go by. Just in case you wanted a more detailed explanation straight from the horse’s mouth so to speak.”

And with that he left Frank at the bar. Frank once more glanced down at the photo, before he rubbed at his beard. Now he had his explanation, his head was a mess of thoughts. He was angry, so angry that she’d done this, that she’d kept this from him but despite all of that, despite the fury and resentment he was feeling he couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of sympathy for her, that she’d tried to deal with all this on her own to keep him and Mary from having to.

“You fucking idiot, Lissy…” he mumbled, before he shoved the photo back in the envelope and stood up, heading out to his truck.

**** Fliss was hanging Heidi’s bridle up in the tack room after a spontaneous ride around the fields when Thor gave a quick bark and shot out. Frowning, she headed to the door of the office, her eyes growing wide as she saw Frank striding purposely towards her, the setting sun illuminating his tall figure and the familiar envelope clutched in his hand.

Fuck…

“Care to explain this?” he waved it in the air as he reached the office threshold

“How did you…” “Your Dad.” he said, thrusting it at her “He came to find me. Thought I had a right to know, and you know what…I’m kinda inclined to agree with him.”

“Frank…” “Were you ever gonna tell me?” he asked, tossing the envelope onto the desk “That he had made a threat towards Mary?” “I dealt with it.” she shook her head “There was no need to worry you.”

“You dealt with it?” His voice was disbelieving “How? By ending things?” “Yes.” She nodded “Breaking it off with you…it was the best way of keeping you both safe.” “You are fucking unbelievable.” he shook his head “You ripped our lives from underneath us…”

“This hasn’t been easy on me either Frank!” she cut him off, angrily “Fuck, leaving you…it broke me. Like nothing I’ve ever felt before. You know, I’d rather take thousand beatings from John over that because…” she trailed off as Frank looked at her, her words sinking in as she shook her head and looked away, tears falling down her face “…because at least the physical pain would die down…”

“Don’t.” Frank shook his head, his voice cracking “Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth. I had to keep you safe.” she turned her head to face him, “Both of you…”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he pressed.

Fliss looked at him, her mouth opening before she shut it again and shook her head, her eyes dropping to the floor “I had to keep you safe…” “Keep us safe…that’s not answering my question.” She shook her head again. “Damnit Lissy, look at me.”

She raised her face to his, obediently.

“Why?” he pressed.

“I was frightened it might tip you over the edge…make you do something stupid.”

“Stupid? Like what?” “Like go and hunt him down.” she swallowed.

“Seriously?”

“Yes!” she nodded. “You moved Mary over a thousand miles to keep her away from your own mother...”

“That is NOT the same…” Frank blazed at her

“And I was scared that if you saw this…you’d do something bad and then both of us would end up without you and…” “Fuck!”  Frank exploded, slamming his open palm down on the desk with a loud bang. Fliss immediately jumped back, her eyes wide with fright and Frank took a deep breath, as he realised he’d scared her. Besides him Thor gave a low rumble of a growl, and the large dog moved towards Fliss, turning his eyes on Frank. Fliss laid a hand on his head.

“Thor, shh…” she said softly, and he immediately stopped, but never once averted his gaze from Frank.

“Sorry, I…” Frank swallowed, concentrating on his breathing as he looked at her. “Why didn’t you just talk to me?” “I don’t know…I’m sorry.” she sniffed, wiping her face. “I just…”

“Have I ever given you reason to be scared of what I’d do or say or…” “No, of course not…” “So what the fuck makes you think I wouldn’t understand how upset and scared you were over this?”

“I don’t know.” she shrugged “I wasn’t thinking straight…” “You weren’t thinking at all…” Frank shook his head “I can’t believe you’ve been so goddamned stupid.”

“I’m sorry…” she looked at him, looking down “I know…I was an idiot and you’ve every right to be angry and hate me…” “I don’t hate you Liss.” Frank sighed softly “I fucking love you, more than I can even begin to explain.” At that Fliss let out a loud sniff and wiped at her nose with her hand. 

“And you know what the worst thing about all this is?” He spoke again and she looked at him, waiting for him to finish. “Is that I know I’ll never be able to stop loving you.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. It was the truth, he couldn't ever see a point in his life where he would be able to switch those feelings off. Fliss' drew in a ragged breath and as he looked at her he saw something on her face which he recognised instantly, it was the same look she had worn when she told him she had found out John had been released, utter broken helplessness. She shook her head sadly and he could do nothing but watch, his own chest rising and falling deeply as she slid down to the floor, her knees buckling beneath her. Thor pushed his face into hers, gently nuzzling at her as she tangled her hands into his fur.

"I don’t deserve to be loved..." she shook her head as her silent tears continued to flow freely "not at that cost..."

Her words hit Frank like a tonne of bricks and he took a deep breath and shook his head.

“Don’t…” he stumbled over his words slightly as he took a step towards her “Don’t say that! Ever again you hear me?” he knelt in front of her as she hugged her knees tightly to her chest. Thor, eyeing Frank again, moved back a little, clearly deciding the man posed no threat. Frank reached out and scratched his ear slightly before he gently placed his hands on Fliss’, prising them from around her knees gently, moving her arms so that her body opened up slightly to him “Fliss you are worthy of all the love in the world...why don’t you see it? Why are you pushing me away?” “I’m sorry… I’m… I…” She fell into him, sobs wracking her small frame as she pressed her face into his chest, her hands moving from her knees, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt. "Hey...sshhh..." he hushed her, one hand on the back of her head as he cradled her to him "it's okay…” He sat with her on the tiled floor of the office, no longer even bothering to fight his own tears as he pressed his face into her hair and kissed the top of her head as he rocked her gently whilst she cried. Eventually her sobs began to die down into soft cries, her body finally stopped shaking as the cries then subsided into sniffles but still she clung to him as if her life depended on it, simply concentrating on calming herself, allowing his familiar touch and smell to wash over her, ground her. Frank made to pull back slightly, but the moment caused Fliss to panic slightly and she made a grab for him. "No, please...don't go...don't..." "I'm not going anywhere." he promised her quietly as he cupped her cheeks with both his hands, turning her face up to look at him. "You're a fucking idiot you know that?" She gave a soft, watery splutter of a laugh as she nodded in agreement, his thumbs gently wiping her tears away. "But you're my idiot." "I don't deserve you..." she shook her head, averting her eyes from his "Frankie, I don't..." "Stop it." He said sternly, his grip on her face became a little stronger "Liss, look at me..." She swallowed and turned her big brown eyes to meet his, the hurt and pain evident on her pretty face. "I love you." He repeated his earlier statement and she took another deep, shaking breath. "I love you too." she sobbed, fresh tears rolling out of her eyes "Well then..." He looked at her, raising his eyebrows. "The question is, do you think that's enough to put this behind us?" "You want to?" She asked him, her voice almost a whisper, surprise still evident in her tone. "Of course I do." Frank sniffed and smiled at her. “I never wanted you to leave in the first place, Sweetheart." "What about Mary? She hates me..." Fliss shook her head. “And I don’t blame her." "No, she doesn't. She’s angry and lashing out. She tells me she hates me all the time, remember?" Frank smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind Fliss' ear "You might get the silent treatment for a day or so but well, some might call that a pleasant break." Fliss gave a snort of laughter before she finally let go of his shirt, reaching up with both hands to wipe at her face. "I bet I look a right state." She shook her head, looking down at her hands as the fingers on her left hand began to anxiously play with the ones on her right. "No more than usual." He quipped. "I still think you're beautiful." "Charmer." She said, her mouth curling up at one side into a glimmer of a smile, eyes still cast downwards. Frank reached out and gently took her chin between his finger and thumb, tilting her head upwards. She looked at him for a moment before he leaned down and gently pressed a kiss to her lips. A soft, lingering one, that was loaded with meaning as his hand once more rest against her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, her left hand coming up lay over his, her fingers sliding into the spaces between his own. He gently, pressed his forehead to hers, his own eyes closing as he slid his nose up against hers. "Take me home." She whispered to him and he could tell from her tone it was a question not a demand. He opened his eyes to see her looking at him with a hopeful expression that matched the tone of her voice "please." He smiled at her and nodded, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before he pushed himself up off the floor and offered her his hand. She took it, allowing him to pull her up on the floor and lacing his fingers between hers, he gently led them both towards the door. Once outside he paused to let her lock it before he gently slid his arm round her shoulders and she leaned into him as they walked towards his truck, Thor happily trotting behind them.

**** Chapter 22

[hjh-ceilo-monster]

Who live next door? : Dragon next door (KSJ)

Author note : Finally, I’m back you guys. My uni decide to move my final exams schedule for the third time. Anyway, hope you enjoy my first os after break. 

Shout out : The plot belongs to Hybrid Prompts @Ungnyeo in wattpad. (I think you also have your blog here, but I forgot. Sorry.)

Summary : Your ancestor was a well known dragon hunter. However, now is 21st century and you decided not to continue training. You moved out from your hometown and started a new life in a city. What you didn’t expect was your handsome neighbor/love at first sight will turn out to be a dragon. Not to mention that he is a sassy one.

Author pov.

“Be safe, dear.”

“Don’t forget to visit us, y/n.” Those were the last sentence from your parents before you left the house. Inhaling the fresh air for the last time and mumbling a goodbye for the last time, you jumped onto the bus.

You tried to calm your nervous self down by plugin the earphone into your ear and listen to music. Gazing out the window, you sighed. Many thoughts ran in your head.

Is your decision correct?

Will you have friends there?

Will your neighbor like you?

Train of thought lost you from reality. You didn’t realize yourself until a voice calling you.

“Miss, can I sit here?” You just nodded and moved a little for that someone to take a seat.

“You seem nervous. Perhaps, are you from out of the city?” Now you looked up and find a guy sat beside you. The beauty of his face made you quickly looked down and flushed. What a handsome guy.

“Did I startle you? I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s..I...nervous.” Your stutter made him chuckle.

He seemed to use lots of effort to strike a conversation with you. However, thanks to your stutter, it made things awkward. Still, he continued talking to you and ensured that you were doing great.

“And here we are, our stop.” 

“Our?” 

“Oh, I forgot to mention it. Your address is next to mine.” He scratched his nape and glanced at your house. He then jogged toward his house and turned around.

“Welcome, new neighbor.” Giving you the last wave, he entered his house.

There my heart, shaking as if it wanted to come out. You think you have a crush on him.

A week later everything seemed to be good. You found a job at a local bookstore. The owner was so kind and gave you the job without any interview. Saying that it isn’t common for someone in the town to want a job here.

“Namjoon-ah where should I put this box?” You stood still at your spot. Waiting for the boy to give you an order. 

“Oh over here.” He ran toward you and picked the box out of your grip. 

This boy was the grandchild of the owner. He was as sweet as his grandpa. Having you as the employee, he didn’t let you work much. All you need to do was the cashier work. He became your friend here in no time besides.

Your neighbor, Seokjin, which you got to know his name three days after your first encounter, was great. He was really helpful and always walked with you downtown.

Despite his warmhearted persona and stunning face, you noticed some odd things about him. First, he always wore a beanie or a hat when he hanged out with you. Secondly, no matter how hot the weather was, he would always wear a jacket or some days layer it all. 

Finally, his body temperature seemed to be warmer than usual. You once joked around with him and clung around his arm. However, you felt hot so you suddenly ask whether he has a cold or not. He said that it was normal.

Another week later you guys plan to have a movie marathon and sleepover. Honestly, you tried to convince yourself to act normal and not to imagine that this was an indirect date. 

Ring... Ring...

“Oh you ar...rive” You glanced at pillows in his embrace. You didn’t mean to look as if you were judging him. Counting the number, he carried 4 pillows from his house.

“You don’t need to carry them here since I have mine.” Now Jin was panic. He forgot that you didn’t know his secret yet and it was the reason behind his weird act.

“Ummm I just don’t want to use your belong that much since I always see you do laundry 3-4 times a week.” 

‘Wow, he notices?’ You impressed and got distracted a bit.

“Can I go in?”

“Oh sure.”

Watching a movie wouldn’t be fun if there was no Jin. He could turn every serious moment into jokes, even if it was a scene in a horror movie. Both of you now cuddled on the sofa. The pillow he brought become useful since they all fluffy. It made the place fluffier and more comfortable.

“Tired?” Jin asked. Notice your body that busied cuddling with him and wiggled in his embrace to get sleep. Your eyes were half open and seemed to not focus on the screen anymore.

“hmmm,” You only hummed with a nod.

“Good night then, blossom.” He bent down and kissed your forehead to you who already drifted to dreamland.

Next morning

You woke up because you heard a growl and mumbled of someone. The realization then hit you. Looking around. you were in Jin’s embrace. All the growl and mumbled sounds came from him. 

“Mine...” Your eyes widen when you got to hear those sounds. Every question started answering on its own in your head. Connecting all dots, you got the final answer.

He is a dragon.

“No!” You got out of his embrace by pushing him. Seokjin was awake and looked at you with eyes full of confusion.

“What happen blossom? Did I do something wrong?” He asked with a sleepy voice.

“You...you are a dragon.” Now he was fully awake from his beauty sleep. All of sudden he felt his heartbeat drop.

“Uhhh I can explain i-”

“You tried to fool me, did you?”

“No, I di-”

“I am very disappointed in you, Kim Seokjin. I thought we were a friend and it turns out you fool me. Perhaps, you want to kill me? Why yo-”

“Stop! If you are going to accuse me then stop. Ok, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. I trust you, y/n, but I also know you were a hunter. What do you expect me to when I meet you the first time and find out that my mate is also the dragon hunter?”

Now it was your turn to be shocked. First, you fired your anger toward him. Second, you accused him without thinking straight. Now, knowing a piece of new info that you were his mate.

“Seokjin, I a-”

“Save it, I know this will happen. Sorry for bothering you all this time and I won’t do it again. Have a good day.”

And he left.

2 weeks later

“Namjoon I fuck up.” 

“For the hundred of time, when will you stop saying this to me? I suggest you go to his house and apologize to him.”

“No, it isn’t that easy. You know I...” You told Namjoon the full story without missing any detail. You trusted him when it comes to advise.

“Now I know. I’m not surprised that hyung feels upset. I will all feel upset if that happens to me as well. We only have one mate in a life time s-”

“Wait right there, what do you mean we?” Namjoon then chuckles with your reaction.

“I thought you know about this city.”

“I have no idea.”

“Y/N-ah This is a dragon city. Most people here aren’t just human. The ones who look like normal humans are mostly not human either. You are one of a few citizens here that are pure human.”

Namjoon then explained more about the town and promised to bring you and meet his friends. 

“Now go to him and apologize to your man.”

Ring... Ring...

“Who dares to interrupt my bea- huh?”

“Is Jin here?” You asked the guy who opens the door. You assumed that this must be one of his friends. He nodded and let you inside.

“Upstairs, turn right.” You bowed as a thank you before went to the room according to the direction.

You gathered all your courage together and knocked on the door. Waiting there for a while, there was no answer. You dropped all the manner and entered Seokjin’s room.

“Yoongi, I swear I’m not hu- oh it’s you. What brings a little missy here?”

“Jin, we need to talk.” You spoke and tried to be calm.

“And what do you want to talk about? How I will kill you? How you will kill me?”

“No Jin it is no-”

“So what is it then? I didn’t pay for the grocery bill last time that we hang out? Oh no, I brought some of my food too. Let me think again. I parked the car too close to your entrance?”

“Jin stop, I come here to apologize, ok? I fucked it up, yes. I will admit that. I just want to correct things between us. I know I said those words and you are upset. I want to apologize for that. I didn’t know why I got so angry when I found out you were a dragon. I shouldn’t do that. Hell, I should be happy because I am your mate and you are my crush from the first day I arrived here. You might not forgive me and that’s fine. At least, remember that I am sorry for everything.”

Jin froze in his place. He didn’t know how to act, what to say, or even what is his feeling right now. He felt the guilt eating him because of his attitude toward you minutes ago yet his heart full of delight when he heard that he was your crush.

The moment of silence made you upset little by little. His face showed no emotion. You assumed that you were too late.

“I’ll go now and sorry again.”

The moment you opened the door, it closed immediately. The door slammed shut and then your body toward it. Jin towered your body and stared deep into your eyes. You felt like he was searching for your soul.

“I love you blossom.”

“I...” You didn’t get the chance to reply when his lips connected with yours. The kiss was heat and rough yet passionate. He continued to savor the sweet taste of your lips without caring that you were now out of breathing. 

Your hand tried to push his check as a signal. His lips left yours with a string of saliva. Your face was flushed. Your heartbeat echoed in the room. Jin then grinned widely before carried you to his bed.

“Wh..what are you doing?”

“Cuddle.” He answered and placed you on the mattress. Kissing your forehead, he wrapped his arm tightly around your figure. Making you feel secure.

“I’ll make it up to you tomorrow then”

“Hmmm just sleep for now blossom, I’m tired. Besides, you have your whole life with me anyway.”

“Nah, you didn’t ask me out yet, Seokjin.”

“Very well, then be mine?” You turned around and faced him. You decided to tease him a little by peck him before answered.

“I’m yours.”

“Bold and eager are you?” He flipped then hovered you. 

Guess what? No nap time for both of you.

Author note 2.0 : I hope you enjoy this one. I’ll see you next story(not sure whether it’s going to be in this series, but will write something soon). Thanks a lot and take care of yourself.

[just-a-poor-boy-queen]

Part 17 of Jimercury Kid series

Freddie had known this wouldn’t be easy.

These were his parents after all. They weren’t bad people; model citizens in fact, far more decent than half the folk on the street who had lived in England their entire lives. But they were products of their time; stubbornly devoted to a religion that demonised their only son’s very existence. They loved him; he knew that – what was the saying? Love the sinner but not the sin?

They loved Khaleel too, despite their reservations about the adoption. Freddie couldn’t help but smile as he watched the little boy chattering away to Jer, his little hands balled in the quilt that his grandmother was in the process of making him. She had been working on it for months; it was a beautiful shade of baby blue, embroidered with flora and tiny little birds. Every time they visited, Khaleel would excitedly watch her sew, asking every five seconds when it would be finished so he could take it home. Bomi, though far more reserved than his wife, would prop the boy on his knee and show him old photographs of his Baba when he was a child, and listen to his grandson natter away about what he had gotten up to at school that day. As far as grandparents went, they were exemplary.

But he knew it wasn’t the same. There would always be that underlying fact that Khaleel was the child of same-sex parents, a union that neither Bomi nor Jer saw as valid. They knew about Freddie and Jim – they had known from the moment they met the Irishman, call it parent’s intuition – but while they liked Jim, they would never truly see him as Freddie’s husband, or their relationship as anything but sinful. Hoping that they would ever understand was wishful thinking on Freddie’s part.

‘Have you thought any more about what we said?’

The frontman resisted the urge to roll his eyes as his father cornered him in the kitchen, having lured him in there with the excuse of putting the kettle on. ‘Not now, Papa.’

‘You’re going to have to come to a decision eventually.’ Bomi insisted. ‘The boy needs a mother.’

‘He doesn’t “need” anything.’ Freddie snapped back; eyes still focused on the stove as he willed the kettle to boil faster. ‘Khaleel is perfectly happy just the way he is. With his fathers.’

‘Stop being so stubborn. You’re putting your own selfish desires before your child. We’re only thinking of what’s best for Khaleel-’

‘No.’ Freddie whipped round, sizing up the old man like an angry dog, though being mindful to keep his voice down. ‘You’re not doing this for Khaleel. You’re doing it for yourself, to make you feel better. You’d rather I marry a woman and spend my entire life living a lie than face up to the fact that your son is a queer-’

Bomi slapped him. It wasn’t hard (at least not as hard as Bill Reid used to swing) but it took Freddie by surprise and jerked his head to the side, a small pink mark appearing on his cheek that he quickly covered with his hand. Tears filled his eyes, but he forced them back.

‘Don’t you dare use such language in this house.’ Bomi growled, voice dangerously low, finger pointed threateningly at his son’s face. ‘Your mother and I have spent years trying to overlook your behaviour, turning a blind eye to all the rumours and gossip. And this is how you repay us. You had everything going for you, a beautiful woman you could have made your wife, and you threw it all away for-’

‘For what?’ Freddie interrupted, taking his hand away from his face so he could ball it into a fist. ‘For a man who I love to every corner of the Earth? Who’s made me the happiest I’ve ever been in my life? Forgive me for refusing to live by your standards, Papa. Forgive me for being myself.’ A single tear fell from his eye, rolling to his jaw. ‘I love Jim. I will always love Jim, Papa. And if you can’t accept that, then you’ll have to get used to not being part of Khaleel’s life.’

He made a move for the kitchen door, but Bomi grabbed his arm.

‘You will not take my grandson away from me.’

Freddie scoffed, though it was far from humorous. He leaned close to his father until their noses were almost touching. ‘Watch me.’

He tore his arm from Bomi’s grip and threw the door open, being mindful to calm himself down and wipe away his tears as he entered the living room to where Khaleel was sitting with Jer.

‘Come on, darling.’ He said, avoiding his mother’s eyes as he leaned down and took the boy’s hand. ‘Terry’s waiting for us outside.’

‘But Dādī hasn’t finished my blanket.’ Khaleel whined, pulling away in an effort to get back to his grandmother.

‘Now, Khaleel.’ Freddie said firmly, giving his son a look that wasn’t to be argued with. ‘Uncle Phoebe will have your lunch ready soon.’

The child pouted but didn’t protest any further.

‘Don’t forget these.’ Jer set down her knitting needles and picked up the little box of cheese biscuits sitting on the coffee table, handing them to Freddie. ‘You’ll be back next weekend?’

Freddie felt his mouth go dry. He could see his father standing in the kitchen doorway in the corner of his eye, but he refused to look at him.

‘Goodbye, Mama.’ He replied, avoiding her question, and leaned down to kiss her cheek. ‘Say goodbye to Dādī and Dādā, Khaleel.’

It was all he could do to keep himself from bawling like a baby as Khaleel scampered over to kiss his grandmother on the cheek and waved his tiny hand at Bomi before allowing his Baba to tug him out the door.

It was only when they had arrived back at Garden Lodge and Khaleel had been herded into the dining room by Phoebe to have his lunch, that Freddie went into the garden to where Jim was pruning the roses, threw his arms around his husband and sobbed into the crook of his neck.

Oof, yeah this is angsty. I just answered an ask about Freddie's parents, and what I wrote in it coincides with your characterisation, even though this is a fictional setting.

I feel like there could've been two scenarios: One where they accepted and loved their grandchild but did not approve of how he was being raised, as you wrote here beautifully. In the second scenario, it's possible that they didn't accept the child (but were warm towards him because it is a child), since it represents what they don't approve. What I mean to say is that throughout Freddie's life he hid his sexuality from his parents even though they were aware of it. He was never blatant about it, never flaunted it in front of them, at least after he got famous. But here, he is openly raising a child with another man. This is a change in situation that may not have been received well by his parents.

But of course, the first one is as likely as the second, because this is fiction, and we can never know how someone would've reacted to something that never happened. And as I said, you've explored this subject beautifully in this fic.

Jer and Bomi were products of their time, and for them a family constituted of a mother, a father and children. Anything in exception to this is still considered wrong (for example, last year the indian government challenged the petition of a few same-sex couples in the supreme court who wanted marriage equality. The reason which they gave was that indian traditional values define a family as a biological mother, biological father and their children. Anything in violation of this structure cannot have a place in this country. This happened in 2020. Imagine it being a lot worse a century ago when Bomi and Jer were growing up in this country).

Gosh, I went off topic here, haha. But this provides a bit of context to their thinking, and the fact that they probably never accepted their son, not in his life and not after his death.

I loved this part, anon. You truly have a gift of conveying every type of emotion—anger, sadness, happiness, love. You're simply amazing💙

(More drabbles by writer anon)

[sophielovesbarnes]

All or nothing, chapter two.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Winchester!reader

Warnings: Fluff, pregnancy and cursing.

Author note: Alright, here we are, hot out of the oven! Sorry if it took long, I got stuck on a scene but I finally broke the writer’s block and was able to finish this chapter, we will get to see a bit more of SPN on this chapter.

I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what do you think, dm me if you want to be tagged and remember requests are open.

Chapter one

Masterlist

Chapter two

“Come on ladies! They are not called suicide running drills for nothing!” Your coach screams, you are beyond exhausted, your legs feel like they will give in, in any second now, you are covered in sweat from head to toe and your lungs feel like they are on fire. With the National competition getting closer every day your coach gets more demanding and the training sessions become more intense.

“So.” You manage to get out. “I don’t know if calling him is too straight forward.”

“Well.” Ingrid answers with her chest heaving. “It’s not like you have cared about that before.”

“Winchester! Fritz! If you are able to speak then you are not doing it right!” 

Ingrid smiles at you and then you both get back to running, an hour; that feels like an eternity later, you are under the shower letting the water wash away your exhaustion, you still have two classes left and you need to mentally prepare yourself for them. 

When you are changing into a pink dress Ingrid returns to the topic.

“So what are you going to do?” She asks while brushing her hair. “Are you gonna call the hot FBI agent?”

“I think I will.” You tie your hair up and close your locker. “There’s something really special about him, I just can’t put my finger in what.” 

“Aww little Y/N has a crush.”

“Shut it Ingrid, at least I’m doing something about mine.” You say teasingly.

“Hey I’m your base, you don’t wanna bother me.” You both look at each other with serious looks in your face and then burst into laughter. “No but seriously, tell me how it goes.” 

“Will do, bye babes.” You kiss her cheek and then leave the locker room. 

During class you are barely able to pay attention, when your psychodynamic teacher is talking about the five stages of psychosexual development and the fixations in the oral stage your mind is traveling far away, focused on soft brunet locks and shy smiles.

After school you go back to your apartment, you order chinese for dinner and when the food comes and you are so distracted you are almost sure you gave the delivery guy a 50 dollar bill and told him to keep the change, you eat absentmindedly and then head to your bathroom toying with your phone, after taking a bath you are on your bed, dressed with clean pajamas and your hair wrapped up with a towel, then you finally gather enough courage to make the call. 

The phone rings three times before he answers.

“Hello?” Your heart flutters at the sound of his voice.��

“Doctor Reid?”

“Who is this?” He asks, you can hear the nervousness in his voice.

“It’s Y/N Winchester.” You answer calmly .”You gave me your card at the FBI lecture at Louisville.” 

“Right, how- how may I help you?” He replies.

“I have a lot of questions, and you told me to call if I had them.” You take a deep breath and then say with a wide smile on your face. “But I thought it would be unfair to just ask without giving something in return, so what do you say about me buying you coffee tomorrow? If you’re still in town.” 

Silence.

You mentally slap yourself for being too straightforward, what made you think that he wants to go out with you? He most likely has a girlfriend and here you are throwing yourself to him? God, you are so stupid.

“I-I yeah, that would be…” You listen to him taking a deep breath and then he continues. “That would be nice.”

“Great! We should go to Quills, they make this mean peach- lavender lattes.”

“Sounds good.”

“Does four o’clock work for you?”

“Yeah, that’s okay.” 

“Hey pretty boy, who are you talking to?” Says a voice on the back, then the call ends.

You are smiling so hard your cheeks hurt, you have a date; well, meeting with doctor Reid, and you can barely hold your emotion. What are you gonna wear? What are you gonna say? Maybe this was a rash idea. 

The ring of your phone snaps your mind out of it, when you pick up you see your brother’s face and on the back you hear the sound of vomiting.

“I’m guessing Jo hasn’t passed the throwing up all the time fase.”

“At this point I am pretty sure she kind of hates me.” Says your Adam.

“I don’t kind of hate you Adam, I hate you, hate you.” You hear Jo say, then the sound of vomiting returns.

Jo’s pregnancy had caught everyone off guard, she and Adam were always fighting or calling each other names, but then at the New Year’s Eve party Ellen threw on the Roadhouse they both had too much to drink and the next thing you knew was that you were going to have another nephew or niece in nine months, there was a lot of crying and at some point Ellen threatened to cut your brother’s balls off, now she was just happy with the idea of having a grandchild. 

After the initial shock you were happy as well, this wasn’t your first nephew/niece though, Sam and Jessica had two beautiful daughters you adored, Dean had Ben; who was only a couple years younger than you, which was weird; and with Castiel, Dean had applied to be a foster parent, they now had a little boy; Leo, and were hoping to get another child.

You had such a beautiful family and were so grateful for it. 

“How are you baby sis?” Adam asks, ignoring Jo’s comment.

“I’m good, very tired, our coach is killing us, and I have a duckton of homework, but in general things are going great, what about you, how are things going on Kansas?”

“Things are good, the workshop is getting a lot of cars, Sam, Jess and the girls visit us every now and then, and Dean and Cas are all about Leo.”

“That’s gonna be you in a couple months you know? Have you thought of any names?”

“Jo likes William or Genevieve, I like Magnolia or Jebediah, Jo doesn’t like them so we have reached an impasse.” You see Jo exiting the bathroom and standing next to your brother.

“Those are old people’s names, tell him Y/N.” Jo says. “Tell him they are horrible names and we are not naming my child like an old person.”

“Our child” He corrects, “And they are good names Joanna.”

“I hate to not be on your side bro, but Jo is right, they are horrible.” You say.

“Thank you Y/N at least one Winchester is using her brain.” Adam rolls his eyes and you laugh.

“They are good names!” Adam insists.

“No they are not.”  You and Jo say at the same time, she was your best friend and somehow you were always in synchrony. 

“Now if you can’t reach an agreement Y/N is always a good option, it has character, it’s pretty, and let's be honest, the world could use another Y/N Winchester.”

“We don’t need another traitor.” Adam answers with false hurt. 

“Ugh, stop being such a drama queen Adam, you know what? Your baby wants an Oreo McFlurry.” 

“Five minutes ago you were throwing up and now you want a McFlurry?” 

“Yes, so better get on the road because they are going to close, don't do this for me Adam, do it for your baby.”

“So now it’s my baby?” They both start bickering and you swear they already act like a married couple, eventually Jo wins the discussion, because being honest there is no better argument than “I am carrying your baby” so Adam says his goodbyes and leaves grudgingly.  You and Jo stay talking for hours, it’s almost 3 am when you hang up, and you fall asleep right after.

When you wake up you feel well rested and you feel like you slept for so long, the sun comes bright through the window and your whole body feels relaxed, which is weird because you went to sleep really late last night, which gets you thinking that you never heard your alarm.

Wait.

You take your phone and press the side button, but the screen doesn’t turn on. 

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” You didn’t charge your phone, so the battery is dead which means that you are probably very late, you look up at the watch that’s on the wall, which indicates that it is already 12:15 in the morning, you are definitely very late. 

You jump out of the bed and run to the bathroom, no time for showering, you brush your teeth and get dressed with a pair of jeans, plain white t-shirt and sneakers, you tie your hair on a high ponytail, take your bag and run to the kitchen, you grab a banana and a bottle of water and run out of your house. 

You race on the road and make it to school on record time, at this time of the day it is barely impossible to find a parking space that is empty, when you manage to park it’s almost one, you mentally curse, get out of the car and run to the classroom, this promises to be a hell of a day. 

*****

Spencer has never liked this kind of conferences, they bring him back to his college years, which are not something he likes to think about, he didn’t have the standar university experience, most of the time he was made fun of, being the target of stupid pranks or being just ignored by his classmates, so yeah, college wasn’t something he remembered fondly.

He was on edge until yesterday, when he saw you on the lecture; he had already seen you on the football field being thrown into the air and then landing perfectly with a magazine worthy smile, of course he thought you were pretty, because you were one of the prettiest girls he had ever landed eyes on, but you were also most likely the type of girl that only cared about vain things and would have never noticed him if you had been one of his classmates; he was proved wrong during the lecture.

You weren’t only pretty, you were also smart, probably the smartest girl in that classroom, you were informed and you clearly cared about the topic, and when the lecture ended you went to him, when all the girls went with Morgan or Rossi, you decided to go with him; he was in such a rush he even had the bravery to give you his card.

And then the impossible happened, you called him, and not only that, you asked him out and he hasn’t felt this nervous in ages.

“Reid, Reid.” Morgan’s voice brings him back to the room, he and Rossi are looking at him with worry. “Everything alright pretty boy? You have been acting weirder than usual since yesterday.” 

“I am fine.” He answers almost automatically.

“Are you sure?” Rossi asks with an eyebrow raised. “We are worried about you kid.”

“Yeah.” He says. “Colleges just bring me to the edge.”

“Well, don’t worry about it pretty boy, we are just going to be here three more days and we are back to Quantico.”

“I know.” 

*****

The whole day you feel like you are running, you are late for class which gets you a reprimand from your teacher, which gets you late to your next class, which ends up getting you late to cheerleading practice. Your coach is so mad she has you running suicides and practicing toe touches until your legs feel like jello. 

“Point your toes Winchester! And smile, you have to sell it!”  She screams at you, everytime you jump you feel your muscles pull and your empty stomach hurls, you are almost sure that if you keep jumping you might throw up. 

When your coach finally lets you go it’s already 4:20, you mentally do the math, if you go to the locker rooms and shower you will be in the coffee shop at almost five o’clock, and agent Reid is probably already waiting for you, so you just grab your bag and run to your car mentally cursing yourself for not charging your phone. 

****

Spencer manages to escape Morgan and Rossi, avoiding their questions and he makes it to the coffee shop you indicated by 3:45, minutes go by tortuously, he sees people coming in and out from the coffee with cups on their hands, he sees people laughing and students dragging their feet, the exhaustion of exams and projects reflecting clearly on them, he gets a lot of looks and he starts to grow desperate, he calls you over and over but the calls go straight to voicemail.

By 4:30 he decides you stood him up, this was most likely a prank, how did he not notice? He was a grown ass man, an FBI agent, he was a profiler and still he fell for it. He feels terrible, how could he believe such a beautiful woman would ask him out and actually show up? He takes his bag and gets up from the chair, when he is leaving he sees a car parking and a y/h/c haired girl wearing a Cardinals hoodie and grey yoga pants getting down and running to the coffee shop. 

It was you, you didn’t stand him up, you were actually there, he can barely hold his emotion. 

“Doctor Reid.” You say, your forehead is covered in sweat and your chest is going up and down rapidly. “I am so, so, so, sorry, did I make you wait too long? I’m sorry, my phone died, and my alarm never went off, and I’ve been late everywhere, and my practice lasted too long, and i didn’t have your card so I couldn’t call you from another phone, and I came here right out of my training, so I must smell like a monster and I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t wait for long.” He lies, and you smile at him, and he can swear it is the most beautiful smile he has ever seen. “Should we order?” 

“Yeah, yeah.” You lead the way and stop at the bar. “Hey Lindsey.”

The redhead barista smiles at you and then you look at him and he notices how your y/e/c sparkle with the white lights of the coffee shop. 

“What do you want?” You ask.

“You said something about peach lattes?”

“Peach-lavender lattes, it sounds weird but they are great.” You reply, and by this point he’s sure he would believe if you said the moon was made of tofu. 

“I’ll have one.”

“Great, two large peach-lavender lattes and a bagel please, can I also borrow your charger?” Lindsay marks your order on the cash register and tells you the total, when Spencer takes out his wallet you stop him. “No, I said I was buying.”

“No, I insist.” 

“Doctor Reid, put your wallet down, I was terribly late and I said I was buying, you can pay the next time.” The fact that you imply that there might be a next time makes his heart flutter. 

“Alright.” He agrees, when you get your orders you sit on the table he was waiting on and there’s a moment of awkward silence he is not sure how to break. “So, so you said you had questions?”

“Yes, I do.” You take a sip from your coffee and then look at him, he is expecting questions about the FBI, but that’s not where you go. “You have three PhDs, three BAs and you are only thirty-four, how is that even possible? Are you like a genius?”

“I, I don’t believe intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute.” You stare at him with your eyes wide open and a smile on your lips. “...yes, I’m a genius.”

“That’s… wow.” The conversation flows after that, he talks about some of the most interesting cases he has had, you intervene every now and then making questions or comments that always seem to go to the correct point, and he feels like he can speak freely with you.

“Well, the vast majority of unsubs with a similar MO aren’t driven by the killing, they are merely fascinated by the body parts, it’s like they psychologically exist in a realm where fantasy meets delusion, it’s basically like the blueprint to create the perfect serial killer… I’m rambling aren’t I?”

“It’s okay, it’s fascinating, please go on.” You are one of the only persons he has ever met that reacts that way, most of the time he gets interrupted, he is about to start again when your phone rings, you take a look at the screen and then say. “Sorry I have to take this, it will be just a sec.”

He smiles and nods and you slide to answer. 

“What is the point of having an expensive phone if you never answer? Do you know how worried I was?”

“Hi Dean.” You reply, internally laughing at the overprotectiveness of your brother. 

“Don’t “hi Dean” me, where have you been? Why haven’t you been answering your texts?”

“I’m in a coffee shop, and my phone died last night and I couldn’t charge it until now.” 

“Who are you with?”

“I’m with a… friend.”

“Friend? Are you out with a boy? Who is he? Let me talk to him.”

“Stop being so jealous Dean.” 

“So you are with a boy.”

“I’m sorry I have to go, love you, bye.” You say and you don’t even give him time to protest before you hang up. “Sorry about that.”

“No problem.” He must have guessed you wouldn’t be single, he feels jealousy invading him, and he fiddled with his empty cup. “Was that your boyfriend?”

“Gross, no.” There’s a wave of relief when you answer that, and he probably shouldn’t feel it, he’s leaving in a few days, it’s not like there’s the possibility of a relationship. “It was my brother, he can get all Mama Bear when he is worried.”

“Oh, is he your only brother?”

“No, I have three, Dean, Sam and Adam, I am the youngest, like by far, Dean is 19 years older, Sam is 15 years older and Adam beats me by 8 years.”

“That’s a big difference.”

“Yeah, Dean and Sam are my half-brothers, from dad’s first marriage, their mother died when they were very young and dad took it very hard and started to move them around the country, that’s how he met my mom, he went to Minnesota they had a one night stand and she got pregnant, but she didn’t tell him about Adam until he was like six, then he went back to Windom, they fell in love, dad moved them to Kansas, he married my mom and then they had me, hence the age gap.” You explain. “What about you? Any brothers or sisters?”

“No, I’m an only child, I grew up with Doctor Who and Star Trek as my companions.”

“Doctor Who?”

“Yeah, it’s, it’s good.”

“I know, I’m not gonna act like I didn’t mourn for a week when Ten left Rose on the beach.”

“You like it?”

“I may look like your stereotype cheerleader, but I’m a huge geek, Dean and his best friend Charlie made sure of that.”

The conversation flows as freely as water after that, for some reason you find it easy to talk to him, you tell him so many things you haven’t even told Jo, you talk about everything, favorite holidays; yours is Christmas, his is Halloween; tv shows, characters. You delite with his rambling and pay attention to every word he says, when you finally realize it, the sky has turned dark and you are the last people in the coffee shop.

“I think we should probably let them close.” 

“Yeah, we should.” You both take your bags and stand up. “Hey, when are you leaving town?”

“On friday.”

“Let me make you dinner, I make a killer lasagna.” You look at him expecting an answer but he can barely say anything, he just had an amazing evening with a gorgeous girl who is now inviting him to her house, he should probably pinch himself to make sure he is not dreaming. “Spencer?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“It’s a date then.”

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Riding High Ch 21: The Truth ‘Bill’ Out

Chapter Summary: Fliss and Frank both struggle to deal with the aftermath of their break up so Bill decides to take things into his own hands...

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Ok, I’m sorry I upset you with the last chapter… and a shout out to my partner in crime @icanfeelastormbrewing​ for her input in this chapter.

Chapter Song:  Wait for Me by Kings of Leon

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist 

Take a shot in the rain, one for the pain, and listen up

Frank woke the next morning fully clothed on the sofa. Squinting he groaned at the pain in his head, scrambling to find his phone. As he swiped it cancel his alarm his thumb paused as he glanced at the photo of Fliss and Mary on the screen. Swallowing he turned the screen off, tossed his phone onto the table and pushed himself up, trudging to the shower.

He had spent most of the night drinking the expensive scotch his mother had bought him, trying to understand what had happened. He had tried to call Fliss, messaged her but her response had been a single text telling him she was sorry and requesting that he respect her decision. The worst thing had been trying to explain to Mary. Frank didn't believe in lying to her, certainly not if he could help it, but he had completely chickened out and told her that Fliss had some paperwork to do and would be staying at the annex for the night. Mart had accepted this, and it had bought him enough time to figure out what the fuck he was going to say.

He stumbled into the shower and then decided that the state his head was in he wasn't going to function in work. So once he was dried and had awoken Mary he called Paul and said they he had a migraine so wouldn't be in. He made Mary a sandwich and then once she was packed off on the bus he turned and headed back home.

Once in the living room he looked around. It was littered with reminders of her. Photos, a hoody draped over the dining table chair, those fucking scatter cushions. It was screaming at Frank to get rid if it all, but he couldn't. Not yet. He was still clinging to something desperate hope that she would come back, explaining what had happened and they'd work through it.

And then there was a knock at the door. He paused for a moment, before it opened and a familiar voice called his name.

"Frank? Son?"

He turned to face Bill as he walked through the door.

"She sent you for her stuff?" Frank asked and Bill eyed him for a moment before he shook his head.

"No. She hasn't. And, well even if she asked me to come get it I wouldn't...this is her mess, not mine."

Frank looked at him for a moment before he shrugged and headed into the kitchen grabbing the coffee from the cupboard.

"So what are you here for Bill?"

"Honestly?" Bill raised his eyebrows "to see how you were..."

"Fucking marvellous." Frank said, slamming the cupboard shut "girlfriend's left me, giving me no reason, I'm hungover to shit and at some point today I gotta figure out what I tell Mary."

He leaned back against the kitchen counter and pinched his nose before he scrubbed his hand down his face.

"How is she?" Frank looked at Bill. Bill sighed and shook his head.

"Hardly said a word since she came home yesterday evening." Bill shrugged "other than to tell she had ended things with you, that it was her decision and she wasn't going into it."

"She didn’t go into it with me either so..." Frank snorted, shaking his head. "So if you've come to find out what’s going on I can't help you Bill, because I don’t know."

"No, honestly Frank...I meant it when I said I came to see how you were. V and I were worried..."

Frank was about to shoot some sarcastic response back but when he saw Bill's face was arranged with genuine concern he simply shrugged and looked down, shaking his head.

"I love her Bill...and I thought things were going great. I just don't understand."

With a sigh Bill stepped forward and gripped Frank's shoulder.

"I'm really mad at her Frank." Bill sighed "but I know she’s hurting too...don't give up on her. Not just yet."

Frank sighed and scratched at his head as Bill released his grip on his shoulder. 

"She made it quite clear she doesn’t want to see me or talk to me Bill." Frank shrugged.

"She doesn’t know what she wants" Bill shook his head. "All am asking is that you at least try to talk to her."

"I need time, too Bill." He sighed "I'm angry and upset myself. I can't face her yet. It’s gonna be bad enough taking Mary up to see Monty..."

"I know." Bill said "and if you ever want me to take Mary instead so you don’t have to, certainly for the time being, I'm happy to do so."

Frank nodded "thanks."

"Ok, well you know where to find me." Bill shrugged “And I was hoping that, maybe when the dust settles a little, me and V can still take Mary out once a week, for a burger or something. You know we love that little girl, and nothing is gonna change that."

Frank looked at Bill and saw a flicker of worry flash across the older man's face.

"Bill..." Frank said gently "I'll never stop you and Verity seeing Mary. As long as you're happy to do so. I just...well I just don’t want it to be awkward for you and Fliss, meaning there's to be a point later where you leave her life too. Mary’s had enough turmoil over the last 12 months to last a lifetime."

"No I get that." Bill nodded "and thanks Frank. You're a good man."

Frank nodded and Bill gave him another small smile before he turned and headed out.

***** Mary didn’t take the news brilliantly, as Frank had anticipated. She’d teared up and asked Frank why Fliss wanted to leave them, to which Frank had answered as honestly as he could, that he simply didn’t know but that it was nothing to do with her. And then she’d surprised him by saying, for the first time ever that she didn’t want to go to Roberta’s that night, but she wanted to stay with him.  So they spent the Friday evening with a pizza, watched a film, both huddled together on the sofa. She didn’t mention Fliss again other than to say she didn’t want to go for her lesson either the next day, instead saying she would go during the week. Out of courtesy more than anything Frank messaged Fliss to let her know. After an hour or so she replied simply to tell him that it was fine and she would make sure Monty was looked after.

Monday morning rolled around and Frank was glad of the distraction if he was honest, burying himself into his work. And during the day he was ok because his mind was busy but in the evening after Mary had gone to bed and he himself was getting ready to hit the sack, he found himself simply staring at Fliss’s toothbrush and toiletries. Unable to look at them anymore he grabbed the various bottles of stuff belonging to her and placed them all in one of the wicker boxes held under the sink in the unit.

Tuesday evening he spent with Simon and Greg. Simon had heard from Bonnie what had happened when she had called Fliss. Simon informed Frank that Fliss had refused to talk to Bonnie about it and just asked the woman to leave it alone. They had a few beers and it was a good distraction for a while but again once they left, Frank was alone with his thoughts and an aching in his chest.

And it wasn’t just his thoughts. It was the physical reminders. As well as the photos and cushions, there was the dog basket in the bedroom that belonged to Thor, when he decided to sleep on it and not Mary’s bed that is, her favourite mug, the blue and gold shimmering wine glasses they’d bought, her clothes in the fucking closet. Frank had no idea what he was supposed to do. Did he pack it up and take it to her, or wait for her to come and claim it?

Wednesday morning Mary told him she wanted to go and see Monty so Frank nodded. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. On the one hand he was happy he’d at least get to see Fliss, maybe they could have a reasonable conversation but on the other he knew seeing her was going to tear him in two. He also was a little worried how Mary was going to react. He called Fliss, and unsurprisingly she didn’t pick up. But surprisingly she did call him back a little after lunch.

“Hi.” he said, a little nervously as he answered.

“HI.” she replied quietly “I err, I had a call so…”

“Oh, yeah, erm, Mary wants to come up and see Monty so I wanted to make sure it was ok.” “Of course its ok.” she said gently, “Frank, I’d never stop her coming up to see her pony.”

“No I know that, I just…” Frank took a deep breath, “It doesn’t matter, we’ll see you later.” “Ok, erm, bye.” “Yeah, bye.”

He cut the call, his throat was dry and he felt like his heart was about to pound out through his chest. And that had been simply at the sound of her voice. It had been a week since he’d heard it and now it had knocked him for 6. And suddenly he wasn’t looking forward to seeing her at all.

****** Fliss tossed her phone down and ran her hands over her face. She was tired. Since moving back into the annex she hadn’t been sleeping properly, having nightmares for the first time in almost a year. She wasn’t eating properly and she was continually snapping at her parents too as they were crowding her she felt. Almost as much as when she had left Boston. She knew they were simply concerned, as was Bonnie but she just simply wanted to be left alone. She was hurting too, leaving Frank had killed her, it was the worst thing she had ever been through, worse than any beating John had inflicted on her.

She also knew at some point she was going to have to face him, go round and collect her stuff. Her mum and dad had made it quite clear they weren’t going to bail her out on that one, which was understandable she guessed. They were upset too, her dad especially as he was very close to Frank, and they both loved Mary as if she was their own grandchild.

It wasn’t her own life or Frank’s she’d thrown into chaos, it was theirs too.

She wiped at her eyes, stood up and headed out into the late October sun, striding over to the paddock as she rolled her shoulder which was sore from the tumble out of bed she’d taken in the middle of the night. It was her dodgy shoulder, the one John had dislocated as part of one of his beatings, so she knew that was going to be troubling her for a good week or so now she’d jarred it again. But in some sick, twisted way she relished the pain. A physical manifesto of the agony she was feeling inside.

She had 3 clients that afternoon, so the time whizzed by and before she knew it it was half 4 and Mary would be arriving any second. She turned and headed into her office, trying to calm herself down, feeling her anxiety spiking. Thor, having sensed it, gently nuzzled his nose onto her lap as he always did and she sat for a quiet 15 minutes simply breathing and stroking his soft head and ears, glad he was giving her something of a grounding. And then his ears pricked up as he caught the familiar sound of Frank’s truck and giving a low whine of excitement he shot off across the yard.

Taking a deep breath Fliss stood up and walked out of her office and saw Frank walking onto the main courtyard, Mary’s hand in his.

“HI…” Fliss greeted him a little tentatively, and he gave her a small smile, his eyes hidden behind his aviators.

“Hi.” he said gently.

“HI Mary.” Fliss looked at her and Mary glanced up, before she looked away.

“Hi.” she said a little stiffly. Fliss swallowed and then took a deep breath.

“Do you want to ride today or…” “No.” Mary shook her head “Not with you.” “Mary.” Frank said, looking down at her “Remember what I said in the truck…”

Mary took a deep breath and looked down at her feet, her boots kicking at the slate gravel which covered the yard before she looked up at Fliss “I just want to brush him today.” “Ok, well, he’s in the pasture. Do you want me to come-“ “I’ll ask Joanna.” Mary said, as she let go of Frank’s hand.

“She’s in the back barn, tell her I sent you.” Mary didn’t reply, she simply headed off.

“She’s upset.” Frank said as he watched her go. He turned to Fliss and shrugged “She’ll come round.”

Fliss gave him a small smile. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

“No, I’m good, thanks.” he said, shaking his head “Think I’m gonna go with Mary…” “Sure.” Fliss nodded, “I’ll be in the office. If she needs me or changes her mind about riding, just…” Frank gave her a tight smile again before he headed off.

Fliss watched him leave, claiming her hand over her mouth tightly before she pinched the bridge of her nose, screwing up her eyes to try and stem the tears which were threatening to come. Composing herself she turned and headed back into her office and started to busy herself with some lesson plans.

It was about 40 minutes later when there was a knock at the door and Frank poked his head in.

“We’re gonna go.” he said, “Do you want Monty back out or…”

“No, it’s fine.” she stood up “I’ll do it later once he’s been fed.” “Ok…” he nodded, turning to go.

“Is Mary ok?” Fliss asked and Frank stopped. He took a deep breath and turned to face her.

“What do you think?” he said, his voice was a little harsher than it had been before and Fliss hung her head.

“Sorry.” she said softly. “Can I talk to her.” “Be my guest.” he said, turning once more to leave “Not sure it will do you much good.”

Fliss rose from her chair, her hands shaking a little as she headed out after him. Mary was packing her brushes back in the little box kept by Monty’s stable.

“Hey.” Fliss greeted her “Was he a good boy?” “He’s always a good boy.” Mary shrugged, standing up and stroking his nose.

“That’s true.” Fliss said, her hands slipping into the pockets of her breeches. “So, do you want to ride at weekend? We can try that jumping…”

"Why don't you love me or Frank anymore?" Mary cut her off, spinning to face her. Fliss felt her heart break even further as she looked at the little girl who was staring at her, her large eyes wide and wet with tears. "No, no Mary..." Fliss crouched down and looked at her "I do honey, I do love you, I love you so much, I just..." "You just don't love Frank anymore?" Fliss took a deep breath, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I'll always love Frank..." "Then why did you leave our home?" Mary began to sob "what did he do?" "Mary..." Fliss shook her head "I just had to. I wish I could explain it better but I can't. You're too young to..." "Stop saying that!" Mary yelled and she spun round, pointing at Frank who had up until that point had been stood at the door to the barn, deliberately looking the other way. Hearing her outburst he turned in time to see Mary raise her hand towards him. "He keeps telling me that too, but I'm not stupid! Why do you both keep treating me like I am?" "Mary..." Frank said softly as he strode towards her. "Come on..." "I hate you..." Mary glared at Fliss who looked as though she has been physically slapped. Her head dropped and she looked down at the floor taking a deep breath. "Mary..." Frank shook his head "Don’t say that..." "I do." Mary's face was full of rage "She made you cry...she made me cry...she promised she would always be there and now she's not and..." "Ok. Ok..." he said gently, he himself crouching down in front of her, a meter or so away from Fliss "I get that you're angry but be kind huh.” "Why should I?" Mary shook her head. "Because I'm asking ya to." Frank said softly. "I told you before on the way here that this..." he gestured with his hand between himself and Fliss, his eyes flicking to the woman's face as she wiped a tear from her cheek, “…us breaking up...it doesn’t mean that Fliss doesn't care about you." "If she did she wouldn't be leaving me!" Mary blazed and at that point Frank shook his head. "It’s me she's leaving Stack, not you."

Fliss took a deep breath and stood up, turning away, her hand covering her mouth. Frank glanced up at her before he turned to Mary.

"Go wait in the truck." He said to her gently "I won’t be be long"

Mary shot one last look at Fliss before she did as Frank had said and headed off out of the barn and disappeared out of sight.

"Sorry." Frank looked at Fliss as she turned to face him "She shouldn't have said that."

"It doesn't matter..." Fliss shook her head avoiding his gaze. "She’s every right to be angry. I have let her down."

"I think it might be best, certainly for the foreseeable if you take care of Monty." Frank said his voice even and Fliss looked up at him, a mix of sadness and surprise on her face.

"But he is her pony..."

"Oh come on Fliss..." he snorted and shook his head. “Surely you can't be that naive as to think that thinks could just carry on..."

"No but..."

"How can I bring her here if every time she comes she’s gonna react like that?" Frank ran his hand through his hair "it's me that has to deal with the fall out and I'm struggling to deal with my own feelings at the moment"

“Ok, if that’s what you want…” “No, I don’t want!” Frank shook his head “I don’t want any of this…but you’ve made it perfectly clear you do and I’ll respect that. I just wish you respected me enough to tell me why.” “Frank, please…” “You left, with no explanation, other than it wasn’t working…but there’s more to it, I can see it written on your face.” his voice was level but his jaw was twitching “Don’t you think I have a right to know?” Fliss tipped her head back and looked up at the sky, blinking back her tears as he continued.

“How would you feel if I had walked out on you, with nothing more than some shitty explanation about it not working and needing space, when a month before we’d been planning for a future together? Fliss, I wanted to marry you, spend my forever with you and…” He trailed off, shaking his head looking around “I’ve spent the last week in a daze, I lay awake at night trying to understand and I just can’t…and that’s the worst bit.” Fliss looked down at her feet and shook her head softly.

“And that’s all you can do or say?” Frank snorted “Absolutely fucking nothing?”

“I’m sorry.” she looked at him, her eyes full of tears “I really am.”

“Yeah, well, so am I.” he said simply, “let me know when you want to collect your stuff from the apartment, I’ll make sure it’s ready.” and with that he turned and left.

*****

“I think it’s the fuel line…” Bill said, walking back into the office, where Fliss and Verity were sat having a coffee whilst he had been taking a look at Fliss’ wagon. It was early Friday evening and she’d wanted nothing more than to load Heidi up and take her for a blast down the beach to clear her mind, but when she had gone to start the wagon to move it out so she could load up her tack it had refused to start. “But I can’t be certain. Not something I can sort really…you’ll need a mechanic.” he turned to look at her “If only you knew one…” “Don’t start Dad.” Fliss shook her head. “Just…”

“Bill…” Verity gave him a warning glare, and Bill simply took a deep breath, shaking his head.

“I’ll speak to Alan, see if he knows a decent one that can come look at it.”

“Thanks.” Fliss said, standing up “I’m gonna go check the fields. Can you just throw the keys back in the drawer?”

“Sure, see you at home yeah?”

She nodded, called Thor to her and headed out.

Bill shook his head and moved to open the drawer to the desk. He tossed the keys inside, and then frowned as he saw the manila envelope that was stuffed inside.

“What is it?” Verity asked.

“That…that’s a Boston post mark….” he said, lifting it out. With a frown,  knowing full well there was only one person really from Boston that would be sending Fliss stuff, he turned it over and pulled out the printed photograph. His eyes scanned it and he let out an angry noise and strode out into the courtyard.

“Fliss!” he bellowed “Felicity Rose Gallagher, get back here right now…” “What’s going on?” Verity asked, and he thrust the photo at her by means of an explanation.

Fliss, having heard her dad shouting stopped dead and turned back to look at the office. She glanced down at Thor before she turned back and headed towards him.

“What’s…” she stopped dead as she saw the envelope on the desk and the photo in her mother’s hand.

“Care to explain this?” Bill said, snatching the paper out of Verity’s fingers and slamming it down on the desk."

"You had no right to go looking through my stuff." she looked at him, angrily.

"Oh cut the crap Liss." Bill shook his head “When did you get that?”

“Last Wednesday.” she said softly.

“Last Wednesday?” Verity frowned, “that was the day you finished with Frank…” she trailed off as the dots connected in her head as Fliss looked down at the floor

“Oh please tell me I’m wrong…” Verity looked at her, shaking her head.

Fliss didn’t respond.

"Oh, I cannot believe you.” Bill looked at her “This? This is why you ended it? Over some pathetic threat without even telling him?"

"It isn’t pathetic!" Fliss looked up at her dad, her eyes blazing. "I know what he is capable of..."

"Well in that case don't you think Frank has the right to know?" Bill glared at her. "If you believe Mary is in danger then you should have told Frank and gone to the police..."

Fliss swallowed and looked down, shaking her head "I know John. This is about having control over me. If he thinks he’s won he will leave them alone…”

"You’re so fucking stupid." Bill sighed.

“Bill…” Verity said gently, trying to calm him down but he was too far gone to listen.

"You've let him win Liss, after everything you went through….”

"This isn’t about him winning!" Fliss practically screamed "This about keeping Mary and Frank safe...not only from him but…well, can you imagine what Frank would have done if he’d seen that?"

“So have you rung John and told him you've done what he wants?"

“Of course I fucking haven't"

"No fault whatsoever in your logic there, huh Titch..." Bill snorted, sarcastically "Tell me, how exactly do you expect him to know it’s over?"

Fliss looked at her dad for a moment, floundering for a response. But she didn’t have one.

"Frank has a right to know about that photo, and more so he deserves to understand why you walked out on him." Bill shook his head, as Verity gently placed a hand on his arm.

"If you wanna discuss rights then I don’t have the right to put a target on his or Mary’s back.” Fliss screamed back before she took a deep breath, shaking her head “Now I’m going for a walk. See you at home.”

Bill watched as she left the office, an angry noise escaping from his throat.

“You were a bit hard on her there Billy.” Verity said, looking at him.

“She needed it.” Bill sighed. He placed both his hands on the desk and hung his head slightly “I can’t believe she’s been so stupid.” “She’s scared.” Verity said gently “She’s not thinking straight…” “You can say that again.” he looked at the photo for a second before he reached out and grabbed it, shoving it back in the envelope. He paused for a second, holding it in his hand before he turned to Verity “And I’m not standing for it…come one” “Where are we going?” Verity called after him as they made their way towards his car.

“To find Frank.” “Bill, we can’t…” Verity shook her head “If we go behind her back…” “Then you can wait in the car Verity.” he looked at her. “I don’t care what she says anymore, I’m not standing back and watching her throw anymore of her life away over that ass hole. And that aside, Frank has a right to know. So seeing as she’s too fucking stubborn to do it herself, then I’m gonna do it for her.”

***** “Thought I might find you here.”

Frank turned to look at Bill as he slid into the seat at the opposite side of the table to him in Ferg’s.

“Yeah well, not like I got much else to do.” Frank shrugged, taking a drink from his bottle.

“How many have you had?” Bill asked

“What are you my dad?” Frank shot back, turning to glare at him. Bill merely raised his eyebrows in response and Frank sighed, shaking his head.

“Sorry…” he took a deep breath “This is my first. Not been here long”

“Good...then you're still sober enough to think straight…” “Think straight about what?” Frank frowned. After a second or so pause Bill reached into his pocket and slid an envelope across the surface of the table.

“What’s this?” Frank frowned.

“An explanation.” Bill sighed, “Well, of sorts anyway.” Frank looked at him, frowning before he placed his bottle down and picked it up. He pulled out the paper from inside and glanced down at it. As soon as he saw the message typed out he felt the heat rise up his neck and into his face, anger flooding his system.

“Fuck…” Frank said loudly, shaking his head “He sent this?” Bill nodded.

“And this...this is why she broke it off?” “She thought if she finished it, gave John what he wanted as in to make her life a fucking misery, that he’d back off and it would mean you and Mary were safe.” “Jesus ...” Frank ran his hand through his hair “Why the fuck didn't she tell me?” “Because she was scared.” Bill said “Scared of what he would do and scared of your reaction” “My reaction?”

“Tell me you’re not thinking about hunting the fucker down and killing him yourself.” Bill looked at him and Frank looked away.

“If it wasn’t for Mary I’d have done that months ago.” he shook his head.

“Exactly. She was worried that this might have been that step that pushed you over the edge.” Bill shrugged. “Look, I’m not saying she’s right... in fact I’ve told her the opposite but, well, I just thought you had a right to know.”

“Can I keep this?” Frank asked after a moment’s pause “Regardless of what Fliss says, I’m taking this to the police this time.” “By all means.” Bill said. “But they’ll want to speak to Fliss so…”

“Tough.” Frank shrugged. “Now he’s pulled Mary into it I’m not fucking about anymore Bill.”

Bill nodded and stood up, clapping him on the shoulder. “Don’t think too badly of her Frank. I know she’s fucked up but she did think she was doing the right thing. We do stupid things to protect the people we love, as you know only too well.” Frank looked up at him and then back down to the photo. Bill turned to leave before he stopped and looked back over his shoulder.

“By the way, she’ll be at the yard.” he said, locking eyes with Frank. “Probably for another hour or so if the last week has been anything to go by. Just in case you wanted a more detailed explanation straight from the horse’s mouth so to speak.”

And with that he left Frank at the bar. Frank once more glanced down at the photo, before he rubbed at his beard. Now he had his explanation, his head was a mess of thoughts. He was angry, so angry that she’d done this, that she’d kept this from him but despite all of that, despite the fury and resentment he was feeling he couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of sympathy for her, that she’d tried to deal with all this on her own to keep him and Mary from having to.

“You fucking idiot Lissy…” he mumbled, before he shoved the photo back in the envelope and stood up, heading out to his truck.

**** Fliss was hanging Heidi’s bridle up in the tack room after a spontaneous ride around the fields when Thor gave a quick bark and shot out. Frowning, she headed to the door of the office, her eyes growing wide as she saw Frank striding purposely towards her, the setting sun illuminating his tall figure and the familiar envelope clutched in his hand.

Fuck…

“Care to explain this?” he waved it in the air as he reached the office threshold

“How did you…” “Your dad.” he said, thrusting it at her “He came to find me. Thought I had a right to know, and you know what…I’m kinda inclined to agree with him.”

“Frank…” “Were you ever gonna tell me?” he asked, tossing the envelope onto the desk “That he had made a threat towards Mary?” “I dealt with it.” she shook her head “There was no need to worry you.”

“You dealt with it?” he said, his voice was disbelieving “How? By ending things?” “Yes.” she nodded “Breaking it off with you…it was the best way of keeping you both safe.” “You are fucking unbelievable.” he shook his head “You ripped our lives from underneath us…”

“This hasn’t been easy on me either Frank!” she cut him off, angrily “Fuck, leaving you…it broke me. Like nothing I’ve ever felt before. You know, I’d rather take thousand beatings from John over that because…” she trailed off as Frank looked at her, her words sinking in as she shook her head and looked away “…because at least the physical pain would die down…”

“Don’t…” Frank shook his head, his voice cracking “Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth. I had to keep you safe.” she turned her head to face him, “Both of you…”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he pressed.

Fliss looked at him, her mouth opening before she shut it again and shook her head, her eyes dropping to the floor “I had to keep you safe…” “Keep us safe…that’s not answering my question.” She shook her head again. “Damnit Lissy, look at me.”

She raised her face to his, obediently.

“Why?” he pressed.

“I was frightened it might tip you over the edge…make you do something stupid.” she said, quietly.

“Stupid? Like what?” “Like go and hunt him down.” she swallowed.

“Seriously?”

“Yes!” she nodded. “You moved Mary over a thousand miles to keep her away from your own mother...”

“That is NOT the same…” Frank blazed at her

“And I was scared that if you saw this…you’d do something bad and then both of us would end up without you and…” “Fuck!”  Frank exploded, slamming his open palm down on the desk with a loud bang. Fliss immediately jumped back, her eyes wide with fright and Frank took a deep breath, as he realised he’d scared her. Besides him Thor gave a low rumble of a growl, and the large dog moved towards Fliss, turning his eyes on Frank. Fliss laid a hand on his head.

“Thor, shh…” she said softly, and he immediately stopped, but never once averted his gaze from Frank.

“Sorry, I…” Frank swallowed, concentrating on his breathing as he looked at her. “Why didn’t you just talk to me?” “I don’t know…I’m sorry.” she said, the tears pouring down her face “I just…”

“Have I ever given you reason to be scared of what I’d do or say or…” “No, of course not…” “So what the fuck makes you think I wouldn’t understand how upset and scared you were over this?”

“I don’t know.” she shrugged “I wasn’t thinking straight…” “You weren’t thinking at all…” Frank shook his head “I can’t believe you’ve been so goddamned stupid.”

“I’m sorry…” she looked at him, looking down “I know…I was an idiot and you’ve every right to be angry and hate me…” “I don’t hate you Liss.” he said softly “I fucking love you, more than I can even begin to explain.” At that she let out a loud sniff and wiped at her nose with her hand.

“And you know what the worst thing about all this is?” He spoke again and she looked at him, waiting for him to finish “Is that I know I’ll never be able to stop loving you.”

The words were out or his mouth before he could stop them. It was the truth, he couldn't ever see a point in his life where he would be able to switch those feelings off. Fliss' drew in a ragged breath and as he looked at her he saw something on her face which he recognised instantly, it was the same look she had worn when she told him she had found out John had been released, utter broken helplessness. She shook her head sadly and he could do nothing but watch, his own chest rising and falling deeply as she slid down to the floor, her knees buckling beneath her. Thor pushed his face into hers, gently nuzzling at her as she tangled her hands into his fur.

"I don’t deserve to be loved..." she said, shaking her head as her silent tears began to flow freely "not at that cost..."

Her words hit Frank like a tonne of bricks and he took a deep breath and shook his head.

“Don’t…” he stumbled over his words slightly as he took a step towards her “Don’t say that! Ever again you hear me?” he knelt in front of her as she hugged her knees tightly to her chest. Thor, eyeing Frank again moved back a little, clearly deciding the man posed no threat. Frank reached out and scratched his ear slightly before he gently placed his hands on Fliss’, prising them from around her knees gently, moving her arms so that her body opened up slightly to him “Fliss you are worthy of all the love in the world...why don’t you see it? Why are you pushing me away?” “I’m sorry… I’m… I…”

She fell into him, sobs wracking her small frame as she pressed her face into his chest, her hands moving from her knees, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt. "Hey...sshhh..." he hushed her, one hand on the back of her head as he cradled her to him "it's ok…” He sat with her on the tiled floor of the office, no longer even bothering to fight his own tears as he pressed his face into her hair and kissed the top of her head as he rocked her gently whilst she cried. Eventually her sobs began to die down into soft cries, her body finally stopped shaking as the cries then subsided into sniffles but still she clung to him as if her life depended on it, simply concentrating on calming herself, allowing his familiar touch and smell to wash over her, ground her. Frank made to pull back slightly, but the moment caused Fliss to panic slightly and she made a grab for him. "No, please...don't go...don't..." "I'm not going anywhere..." he said quietly as he cupped her cheeks with both his hands, turning her face up to look at him. "You're a fucking idiot you know that?" She have a soft, watery splutter of a laugh as she nodded in agreement, his thumbs gently wiping her tears away. "But you're my idiot." He looked at her. "I don't deserve you..." she shook her head, averting her eyes from his "Frankie, I don't..." "Stop it." He said sternly, his grip on her face became a little stronger "Liss, look at me..." She swallowed and turned her big brown eyes to meet his, the hurt and pain evident on her pretty face. "I love you." He repeated his earlier statement and she took another deep, shaking breath. "I love you too..." she said, fresh tears rolling out of her eyes "Well then..." He looked at her, raising his eyebrows questioningly "the question is do you think that's enough to put this behind us?" "Do you want to?" She asked him, her voice almost a whisper. "Of course I do." Frank sniffed and smiled at her "I never wanted you to leave in the first place sweetheart." "What about Mary? She hates me..." Fliss shook her head "and I don’t blame her..." "No, she doesn't. She’s angry and lashing out. She tells me she hates me all the time, remember?" Frank smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind Fliss' ear "You might get the silent treatment for a day or so but well, some might call that a pleasant break." Fliss gave a snort of laughter before she finally let go of his shirt, reaching up with both hands to wipe at her face. "I bet I look a right state." She shook her head, looking down at her hands as the fingers on her left hand began to anxiously play with the ones on her right. "No more than usual." He quipped. "I still think you're beautiful." "Charmer." She said, her mouth curling up at one side into a glimmer of a smile, eyes still cast downwards. Frank reached out and gently took her chin between his finger and thumb, tilting her head upwards. She looked at him for a moment before he leaned down and gently pressed a kiss to her lips. A soft, lingering one, that was loaded with meaning as his hand once more rest against her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, her left hand coming up lay over his, her fingers sliding into the spaces between his own. He gently, pressed his forehead to hers, his own eyes closing as he slid his nose up against hers. "Take me home." she whispered to him and he could tell from her tone it was a question not a demand. He opened his eyes to see her looking at him with a hopeful expression that matched the tone of her voice "please." He smiled at her and nodded, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before he pushed himself up off the floor and offered her his hand. She took it, allowing him to pull her up on the floor and lacing his fingers between hers, he gently led them both towards the door. Once outside he paused to let her lock it before he gently slid his arm round her shoulders and she leaned into him as they walked towards his truck, Thor happily trotting behind them.

[himynameisgrapes]

Dying memory.

The restroom light blinked effortlessly. I was groggy from sleeping all day and could fall right back to sleep if I wanted. My refrigerator was the next spot I craved. My bed was no longer comfort other than stinking up with my depression. I existed. I wasn’t this dead shell of a overweight, divorced man. I flush and got to the sink to wash up. My skin was worn and hairy. I wasn’t younger or happy looking.. I in fact have never been truly happy except for what she called ‘being in love’. I went with what I felt and then I’d.. I did propose. I almost forgot about that bitch. Excuse me, I had to mutter out after that vulgarity. She wasn’t but I never settled for physical play. I didn’t believe in love. I believed in a partner to be honest with me and she was a theif. A lying one. I made plenty money but pills are expensive. She wasn’t herself and she worked all day and nights were at parties. She had good taste and everyone loved while hated her. She was a bitch! So I hated calling her one because it paid. She didn’t care if it was crooked. She didn’t need a Ferrari. She didn’t need diamond, jewels, or fact vacations. She didn’t care where we lived because she was rarely home. She loved our children and they were blessed with good genes. I’m the square with a good reputation but she just died. Fucking whore slept with the wrong husband. Can you fucking believe it?! She never cheated on me but was raped and then paid... well. A cheating man ended up killing her because of his wife. The woman had a case of the baby blues and.. well, ya know! She deserved it as I stood and sobbed. I was missing her because she had been gone. She had deleted me from her life. Everyone at work didn’t look at me. My shifts were cashed in by some younger kid. 22 years old and banking off my spot. Eh, it happens. I could retire but I was still sorta young. I was tired of women though and straight as an arrow. Falling in love sounds... nice. That’s the problem. My children are getting older and have kids that wanna stay and Play in our dead ranch. These creeps wanna (sisters) perform rituals because my animals are on ancient soil. “The fear would suffice our god.” I hung up the phone as they laughed. I wanted to die. I didn’t wanna die alone. So I invited them. I can’t wait till their parents, I mean ungrateful grandchildren, worse than their poor grandmother. Disrespecting the fuck out of me! Witch craft and sacrifices on the animals that paid my bills. I had millions they were living off of. You’re grandmother was a regal being who whisked in screaming!!!! Ahem... Audrey Hepburn. Your fucking dead brats are shit from my animals behinds.. I think that’s who their eating now. Other, brats of mine didn’t have kids but wanted my will. I slyly made them think I was dead. They hated me. My last grandchild pepped up their childlike voice to mimic someone from my insurance agency. She told me they said they couldn’t wait till I died. No ones come around to look or notify me about their dissappearance. I am close to death now being that my pills are choking me slowly. I can hear my wife cackling in the living room where we had a big argument. She laughed just like that. She told me, I’d get what I deserved and I thought she was being manic and like I should fear her. Turns out her crying in between was from me dying and me distinguishing later her spirit from the times she lived and loved me here trapped with my dying memory. You’re just like everyone else now, you fucking bitch. Dead. Enternally..

Here lies John and Jane Doe. 1945-1999/1946-1997

Together forevermore ⚰️👻🎃

[ms31x129]

Chimera

Woohoo! Time for Chapter 2! I had to make a DJ! I felt compelled! @cultureisdarkbeer @monikafilefan @today-in-fic

Chapter 1 - Courage to Jump Tumblr LINK or if you like AO3 it is HERE. 

Chapter 2: Luck of the Irish  (Click on the name for AO3) or if you like Tumblr just clickity-click on the Keep Reading link below.

{Summary:  Months after watching the death of his adoptive parents and Mulder and Scully’s tearful exchange on the pier, Jackson decides to take the risk and head back to his home. He is in search of answers left behind and possibly something worth keeping as a remembrance before the house is sold and all is lost forever. In the attic he finds a letter from his birth mother and as he reads each line, the power and love each word possesses causes his mind to connect with the letter's past, one that he shares, and through visions he relives each moment including an answer to a familiar quarter that his birth grandmother would later carry on a simple chain around her neck only for his birth mother to do the same after his grandmother’s death.}

"My task, which I am trying to achieve is, by the power of the written word, to make you hear, to make you feel--it is, before all, to make you see." -Joseph Conrad

The handwriting drew him in first—elegant and delicate. The shapes of the letters remarkably strong, written with expertise and confident symmetrical lines. Beautiful strokes, both straight and curved, the letters flowing into one another with care and precision. His own handwriting was jagged: no artful roundness or discernable style. Sometimes his Os looked more like As and Ys like an S. They did not have that in common. With a deep sigh he dared to plunge forth, to jump and read the first line.

One day, you’ll ask me to speak of a truth of the miracle of your birth; to explain what is unexplained.

He paused at the word “unexplained” . Something within that word haunted him. His heart inexplicably raced, vision blurred and his mind blazed. Like a great rush of water, the memory returned as if he entered a time machine.

February 5, 2002  - "Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs" -Pearl Strachan Hurd

Silver. A quarter.

The delicious smell of something baking in the oven. A smile came into focus that was highlighted by lines and age. Security and warmth when he was cradled within her arms. She was an older woman, holding him tenderly with dark hair and a glimmer in her hazel eyes that matched the shiny quarter she had retrieved from her purse. After setting him down in his bassinet, she displayed it in front of his eyes. The woman flipped the quarter over like it held pure magic. As if she had never seen one before. Her features cracked into a familiar grin.

“This is luck, William. A coin in a baby's hand means they will never want for money. It’s an old Irish tradition. I put one under your Uncle Bill’s pillow when he was a baby. Same with your Uncle Charlie and your mother.”

Baby William grabbed hold of the coin. Jackson recalled the feel of it in his hand. Cold metal, yet warm in places where she had touched. With both small hands he tugged the solid object from her grasp.

A worried look clouded over the woman’s brow as she stroked his fluffy hair.

“William, I know you are special, but you will always be my grandson. You will grow to do many great things. Change the world in ways only you can dream. Always remember my dear, sweet grandchild, you can survive the unexplained—survive anything if you feel loved… and I do love you.”

The older woman with the hearts in her eyes took one last heavy breath before reasserting her smile. Even at his young age, her eyes and mind communicated to him and the words resonated making him bubble with laughter and kick with joy. The woman let out a laugh, loud and beautiful. Her face was aglow with new beginnings of a world he was ripped from and would never get to see. Their moment was interrupted by the front door and a familiar voice: Mother .

Her face bright and cheery as she finally came into view. “Mom, watch so that he doesn’t put that in his mouth.”

Mother knelt down as she took the quarter from his fisted baby hands and it angered him. He began to fuss and kick, desperate to feel the coin’s texture against his skin again.

“Shh, look,” she soothed while she held the quarter near his face. He let out a laugh as he reached for it, only to make it disappear. Jackson felt himself frown as baby William. Then his mother squeezed his button nose and out popped the quarter. She then held it out in the center of her palm for him once again, and a squeaking giggle rumbled out of his little chest as she laughed along too."Your daddy showed me that trick," she said and smiled so bright it warmed his body from his tiny rounded toes, to his now drooling, smiling mouth.  

“I was going to place it under his pillow. Give him some Irish luck,” the woman answered softly while coming back into his vision, drinking from a steaming cup.

“You know I don’t believe in superstitions, Mom, but I guess it would be alright.”

His mother’s hand gently stroked the swell of his cheek with her thumb and her bright blue eyes danced between his, connecting. A quick electric-like spark ran through him as if he were shocked. Her eyes narrowed onto his at the realization of the connection made while her hand jerked away from the softness of his face.

Jackson’s head snapped back and he found himself staring at the attic’s wooden ceiling, inhaling the musty oak while the past scent of his mother mingled with the present. He gripped his thighs and forced his breathing to slow.

“What the fuck?”

The length of the memory freaked him out. He had experienced snippets or clips of what he knew to be memories of his life as a young boy, but never to this amount of detail, and not even close to lasting that long before. His mind had never worked in a manner that society had deemed normal and this was just another example shoved in his face of how screwed up his head really was.

He scoffed and kicked the box next to his foot, angry as he glared at the letter that had floated to the floor.

“Why am I even doing this? I’ve lived my past and it certainly wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine.” Jackson shook his head and stood to pace the floor, tucking his chin to his chest as the low beams brushed along his wild chestnut hair.

Questions overwhelmed him.

“Who am I really?” he huffed, biting his lip and running a hand down his face. “Jackson or William? Some kind of freak with alien DNA? A Changeling? A Chimera? And do I even wanna find out?” Truth was he did. He wanted to know who he was and get his life back, take control of what could happen in the future. But in order to do that, he knew he had to look to the past no matter how painful it may end up being.

Overall his life was a happy one, for a kid who felt like an alien in his own skin a little more as each year past with no idea as to why. He’d laughed, played practical jokes, had friends, took family vacations, and learned life lessons. But, the bad soon followed the good.

At times, it certainly wasn’t the happiest of childhoods and sure as hell wasn’t normal; the unexplainable powers he’d just happen to acquire growing up put a wrench in the standards of normalcy. Beyond that aspect, his parents loved him and they showed it. Sometimes embarrassingly so. Perks and downfalls of adoption, he supposed. But after shit hit the fan as his powers grew and was forced to switch schools, he utilized his above average intelligence to hack into the State of Wyoming’s county birth records. That had only spurred his curious mind into overdrive. Searching high and low for clues within the confines of his bedroom, where is parents hovered less often, was his only real way to find his own answers. The answers that his parents nor doctors could ever truly give him.

The only way to find the truth was to seek it. And seeking it through unauthorized channels, after finding out his genetic material was not shared with his parents whom were raising him, was his only choice to answer the questions firing through his mind every hour of every day and throughout each night laced with dreams he couldn’t explain.

“Follow the breadcrumbs, Jackson,” Mrs. Wilson told him as she leaned over his desk, thumbing through his advanced science book. “There are always clues left behind to help guide you when you lose your way. No matter how small they may seem or how cloaked in misdirection they are, the truth is out there.”

And that is exactly what he was doing now: searching for his truth.

An average day in his grade school science class had turned into a room full of shocked classmates and a seriously freaked out teacher calling his parents to pick him up when he had hatched an egg out of thin air. Jackson cringed at the memory of being picked up from school that day and seeing the look of what he now knows to be apprehension plastered across his mom’s face. That incident only spurred his parents into action, calling the genetics specialist at the Children’s Hospital of Wyoming to make yet another appointment.

Jackson stopped pacing and slammed his eyes shut, recalling the very occurrence that flipped his childhood world upside down and had finally given him his very first breadcrumb he was unknowingly searching for already.

“Come on, come on, Jackson! Get your long legs moving!” his dad teased as he ran ahead through the reeds of the waving grass.

“You cheated!” he hollered, his golden brown hair that frizzes in humidity flopped into his eyes with each pound of his foot into the ground.

He was taller than most kids at age eight but still hadn’t honed his ability to use the length of his legs the way he wanted. The new spring sun shone brightly into Jackson’s eyes as he ran through the rolling hills of their farmland behind the house.

The competitive side of him ached to catch his dad laughing at him from the bottom of the hill and a sudden surge of anger rushed in as he picked up the pace. He was known for his swift shift in temperament recently and had even unintentionally shattered the sliding glass door after his mom had scolded him. That same anger resurfaced and Jackson stretched out his limbs as he raced down the steep hill, leaping over a branch only to fly awkwardly through the air and land crushingly hard on his arm.

“Jackson!” He heard his dad yell and run towards him. The pain shooting through his forearm was overwhelming and when he looked down, he saw the bone had broken and was protruding out jaggedly beneath his skin. “Oh, my God! It’s broken, Son.” His dad gently touched his wrist and told him he was going to get help.

No tears came while his dad disappeared into the house. He only stared hard at the bone and endured the pain as he narrowed his eyes, focusing on just making it go away. “Please go away, go away, go away…” As soon as he chanted that, a searing sharp pain lanced through his head and down to his arm, heating and mending the break right before his widened eyes.

Jackson sat in the grass, covered in damp smelling dirt while he watched the bones in his arm straighten back out in utter shock. It was like nothing ever happened. He had done it. He had just healed himself; and he felt completely alone.

Even as his parents arrived and hovered over him, shocked and confused, Jackson had never felt more different, alien—knew in his intelligent mind that his life would never be the same again.

And it hadn’t. Not one day since then. That was the day he had overheard his parents speaking in hushed tones through the doctor’s door at the Children’s Hospital, telling them that more testing should be done since his birth parents might hold the detailed answers to their son’s medical history and the key to his future health.

The rest of his life had been spent rebelling and testing his powers in some sort of weird competition with himself. Jackson had been trying to fill in the gaps on his own and it just wasn’t cutting it anymore. He had a thousand questions he wanted to ask his mother, questions to which they needed to find the answers. There was only one way to get them now.

The question still remained: was he ready to receive them? And was she?

A loud bang and muffled noises caught Jackson’s attention and he moved to the attic’s window.

“Shit!” He jerked away from the glass and gasped as he saw two men in suits walking up the driveway.

Closing his eyes as he listened to the sounds and movement of the men outside, he heard the “For Sale” sign creaking in the wind again. An idea struck. He fisted his hands and scrunched up his face in concentration. In a matter of seconds and an exhale a breath, he was now the man shown on the sign sporting a fake smile and a bad haircut.

The front door rattled and Jackson knew that the men in black weren’t going to give up until they did a full sweep of the home. He moved to the doorway of the attic but just before he exited, he looked longingly at the letter written only for him. The decision to take the letter with all the beautiful words of nearly two decades ago etched into it with him, or let it collect dust and age without knowing every single word his mother had meant for him to read ended up being an easy one for him to make.

He lunged down and snagged the letter, folding it up in his pocket just as the back door flung open and smashed into the wall.

Using his illusion, Jackson stood before the surprised men and asked, “what can I help you with? If you’re here to see the house, another walk through is happening in a couple hours.” His voice was deceptively calm since his heart was pounding in his ears. The fact that he could easily kill them where they stood didn’t mean he wanted to do so. He felt like a monster enough already.

“You’re the realtor?” The man with thinning hair and glasses asked as he palmed what Jackson assumed was a gun at the spine of his back. “No one else has been here?”

“No, but who are you?” Jackson made his way casually to the front door and narrowed his eyes at the man’s hand. When he got no answer he unlocked the door and flung it open. “You should leave before the authorities notice that piece behind your back. And since you’ve basically broken into a home up for sale, I think they’d have probable cause to search you.”

The men shared a look and stiffened at his icy tone. Silence hung in the air until the decision of whether to explain anything to him finally came.

“We’ve been monitoring this place since the event of last year for classified reasons. No need to waste your time on a worthless phone call.” Spinning around in place, they stared up toward the landing on the second floor, as if they expected him to just pop out of his room and wave. “Seems hard to believe a house like this is still on the market,” he chuckled and nudged his partner with a smug expression. “I guess the multiple homicides might turn people off.”

It took all of his strength to not beat the hell out of these assholes standing in the exact spot where his parents’ killers stood, aiming their murder weapon at his own head from the stairway.

“Then go,” he sneered. “Unless you plan on buying?”

Attitude and rage oozed from his teenage mouth and he didn’t give one shit. His control was waning at a faster rate than he had anticipated and if they didn’t leave soon, he could only imagine how the entryway walls would look with a fresh layer of red blood painted across its pristine eggshell white.

The taller man took the hint and made one final glance around and nodded for his partner to follow him out the door and down through the front lawn. They slowly got into their car and drove off, but not before tossing out a look that could kill. And Jackson had no doubt that the men had done just that multiple times before.

He slammed the front door and locked it. His head banged against the heavy wood.

“Jesus,” he exhaled as he dropped the illusion. “I gotta get out of here.” He ran a hand through his longer hair now and slid his fingers in his pocket, brushing them along the letter he had yet to finish. “That’s just it, man… you never finish what you start,” he laughed, annoyed and frustrated with everything including himself. “But maybe now, it’s time to try.”

[rosapeachhogwartsmystery]

It runs in the family - part 1 (Hogwarts Mystery Imagine)

Masterlist  (To view my Masterlist, visit my Tumblr page)

Words: 2.2k

A/N: This story is based on the imagine I wrote about MC being raised by her grandfather, because their parents are in Azkaban.

Also you can comment to let me know what pairing(s) you would like to see in part 2. See the end of the story.

Summary: You and Jacob were raised by your grandfather ever since your parents were away sent to Azkaban prison. Your grandfather was a strict man and your summers were pretty boring and quiet most of the time. Luckily, you were going to meet your friends in Diagon Alley to buy your school supplies. Even if your grandfather was going to Diagon Alley as well, you were certain things would be a lot nicer than usual. Although, during your trip, your grandfather seemed to know things he shouldn’t even know of.... How did he get this information?

_______________________________________________________

“What’s on your mind, Y/N?”

You looked up to your grandfather when you two were sitting quietly nearby the fireplace of his home. The warmth coming from the fireplace made the room feel a lot nicer than when the fire wasn’t on. Your grandfather’s home was mostly dark and it felt pretty empty most of the time. You didn’t always enjoy your time here, but you didn’t have somewhere else to go.

“Not much.” You told him, staring at the fireplace.

“Are you sure you aren’t thinking about Jacob or your parents?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe.”

Your grandfather shook his head. “There is nothing you can do. Your brother disappeared and he is probably on the run for something. And your parents are stuck in Azkaban, probably for the rest of their lives.”

“So, everything for them is useless?”

“I wouldn’t say useless, but the chances they will get out of trouble is low.” He said honestly and then he looked seriously at you. “You are also on your way of getting in serious trouble as far as I am informed by your Headmaster.”

You blinked. “What did Dumbledore tell you?”

“That you are looking for these Cursed Vaults like Jacob did. I’m telling you; it’s only getting you in more trouble than it’s worth.” He huffed.

 Of course, he thought it was all a waste of time, thinking you should focus on your studies and talents instead of the Cursed Vaults. He thought you were going down the ‘same’ path as your brother and parents. In his eyes, Jacob and your parents are disappointments. Your brother was a failure for getting his wand snapped and your parents were a disappointment the moment they were caught by some Aurors. You were his last hope in some way. He only had one son and you were the last grandchild who could do something great.

‘Dark arts are fine, as long as you don’t get caught’ was one of your grandfather’s mottos. He wasn’t a supporter of You-Know-Who, but he definitely wasn’t a good wizard either. He was a regular at Knockturn Alley and people seemed to fear him.

“You should focus more on your studies. Really, if I keep hearing you get in trouble, I will personally make sure you transfer to Durmstrang.” He said seriously. “At least they teach their students Dark Arts.”

You grimaced at the idea of being transferred to Durmstrang. “I will try to focus more on my studies.”

“Good. I don’t want to see your grades slipping. It could ruin your chances at getting a good job.”

  “So, you are going to Diagon Alley tomorrow?” Your grandfather asked.

“Yeah, I need to get my supplies for my fifth year.” You said honestly.

“Ah, yes, of course.” He mumbled. “And you will meet your friends there?”

“They asked me to meet up with them, that way we can gather our supplies more quickly.”

“Well, all right then.” He said, nodding a bit. “Perhaps we should travel to Diagon Alley together, I have some business to attend to in Knockturn Alley. Just selling some old artefact I have laying around here somewhere. It would be a waste to leave it rot in the house.”

“Sure…” You mumbled, not being too happy to travel to Diagon Alley with your grandfather. People tended to stare at you when you were with your grandfather and the looks they gave you two weren’t too friendly…

 _____________

  The next day you travelled together with your grandfather to Diagon Alley, side-apparating nearby the Leaky Cauldron without being seen by any Muggles. Your grandfather might be old, but he definitely didn’t lose a lot of his magical skills when he got older. His apparition was really precise and you almost were jealous you weren’t able apparate yourself yet.

Once you both were in Diagon Alley, you noticed people were already staring at you. At least, the Wizarding families were staring at you two. The Muggleborns didn’t seem to know who you or your grandfather were.

You spotted Rowan nearby Flourish and Blotts, waving at you. You waved back, looking slightly uncomfortable when you realised she was also with Ben and Penny nearby the book shop. Your grandfather already raised his eyebrow, knowing he was going to examine your friends a bit more.

“Are they your friends…?” He asked

You nodded a bit, looking slightly nervous, afraid your grandfather wouldn’t like your friends and want you to limit your contact with them.

“Well…? Are you going over to them...?” He said seriously when he looked at you.

You nodded again and walked over to your friends. Your grandfather followed you.

  “Hey.” You greeted, giving them a small smile. “This... This is my grandfather.” You said when you glanced at your grandfather for a moment.

Penny, Rowan and Ben tensed a little when you mentioned the man, who walked next to you, was your grandfather.

“It’s nice to meet you, sir.” Rowan said, trying to be polite.

Penny and Ben nodded when Rowan said that, trying to be nice as well.

“It’s nice to meet you all as well.” He said slightly seriously and then he looked at Rowan for a moment. “You must be miss Khanna.”

“Y-yes, you are correct.” Rowan said honestly, looking slightly nervous.

Your grandfather nodded and then he scanned the other two.

“And you are Miss Haywood and Mister Copper.” He said seriously.

“Ah, yes, sir.” Penny said softly.

Ben nodded quickly, looking even more nervous than he did before.

“Interesting.” Your grandfather just said and then he turned to you. “I expect you will floo back home when you are done with your errands.”

“Of course.” You told him honestly.

“All right, I suppose I will be on my way. If you get in trouble, you know where to find me.” He said before he walked away from you all.  

  “That was… interesting...?” Penny said softly when your grandfather was out of your earshot.

You sighed and then you gave them an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know he would come over to you as well… I didn’t even know he was planning on going to Diagon Alley until he asked me about going here yesterday.”

“It’s fine, Y/N.” Rowan said with a smile. “I mean, I definitely understand why you used to be so cold and quiet… He definitely doesn’t have a warm expression on his face…”

“Well, he isn’t always this bad… At least not anymore.” You said honestly, knowing things slowly changed a bit when you were opening up more because of Hogwarts.

“Maybe he tries to be nicer...?” Ben said, not sure what to think about it.

“I’m not too sure about that… I mean, he is going to… Well, you guys probably know where he is going to.” You said honestly.

Ben grimaced a little and then he nodded. Penny and Rowan nodded as well.

“So….” You began, wanting to change the topic. “What have we planned for today?”

“We wanted to start at Flourish and Blotts, so we have at least the books we need and then we will go to the other shops to get the other supplies.” Penny said. “We just have to wait for the others.”

  It didn’t take too long until your other friends arrived. You gave them a small smile and greeted everyone.

“So, what did we miss?” Tulip asked when she looked at Penny, Rowan, Ben and you.

You blinked for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“You, Rowan, Ben and Penny seem to be giving this certain look, meaning something happened before we came here.” Tulip said honestly.

“Now you mention it, you are right, Tulip. They are looking a bit tense.” Tonks said honestly.

“Don’t tell me you were being bothered by some people, Y/N.” Bill said, looking a little concerned.

“Where you bothered by people, Y/N? I can help you ward them off if you want.” Barnaby said, looking determined to help you fight off people who bothered you.

You shook your head. “No, no, I wasn’t bothered by people. I mean, besides people staring at me, no one bothered me.”

“Well, that’s good, I mean, it’s definitely not a lot of fun to be bothered by people because of your last name.” Charlie said honestly, trying to a little more positive about the situation.

“But what did happen?” Andre asked. “You are making us curious, Y/N.”

“Uhm… My grandfather decided to say ‘hello’ to Rowan, Ben and Penny just now… In his own, peculiar way.” You told them.

   “Aww…. Did we miss him? I always wanted to know how much you two looked alike.” Tulip joked.

“I bet we can find some similarities when we look at Y/N’s behaviour before she became friends with us.” Tonks grinned.

The group stared at Tulip and Tonks for a moment, giving them a certain look.

“Oh… Sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood a little.” Tulip apologised.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Tonks said, rubbing the back of her neck with a sheepish grin.

“It’s fine.” You told them giving them a small smile. “I’m just feeling bad for Rowan, Penny and Ben to meet my grandfather like that. It was like he was examining them.”

“Then he probably didn’t have a good first impression of me…” Ben said, looking slightly more nervous.

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much. He probably would have said something if he thought anything bad about you.” You tried to reassure Ben, although you weren’t sure what your grandfather thought about the friends he had seen.

“I was surprised he knew our names, like he already had seen us before.” Penny pointed out.

“Yeah, I was surprised by that too.” Rowan said.

You shrugged. “I have no idea how he knew who you were.”

 “Anyways, he went to do his own errands here. So, you don’t have to worry about being creeped out by him.” You told your friends. “I mean, most people tend to get scared of him.”

“Sounds a lot like my grandmother.” Barnaby pointed out. “People seem to be scared of her as well. “

“Maybe grandparents only are sweet or scary. Like, there is nothing in between.” Tonks joked.

You began to gather your supplies with your friends, feeling more at ease than you felt during the entire summer you spent at your grandfather’s house.

 ________________

  “How did you know who my friends were?” You asked your grandfather.

You still were confused about how he knew your friends’ names. You definitely wanted an answer from your grandfather. He had never seen them before. You might have mentioned them, but it was impossible he knew how they looked like.

“Well, what do you think the reason is...?” He asked you, keeping his eyes on you.

“…Have you been spying on me?” You asked, looking slightly nervous when said that out loud to your grandfather.

He rolled his eyes and smirked slightly. “You honestly think I would spy on you?”

“Well, I’m not sure how else you would know about them…”

“It’s an ability that runs in the family, Y/N. You probably should know what I am talking about.”

You blinked for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“You have the ability to see inside Jacob’s mind sometimes, am I right...?”

“The ability to see inside to Jacob’s mind...?” You looked even more confused than you looked before.

“Come on, you know what ability I am talking about. Your father had the same ability.”

“Wait… Do you mean you used Legilimency on me?”

“Exactly.” Your grandfather said seriously. “Your mind is pretty easy to enter for a Legilimens and that could be dangerous.”

  You frowned slightly, wondering what your grandfather has seen already. Then you realised what your grandfather just told you. “Wait, did you mention I was able to see inside Jacob’s mind...?”

“Yes, I did mention that.” He said honestly.

“So… I am a Legilimens?”

“Just like your father and brother.” He nodded. “I think it would be time to teach you the arts of Occlumency… You would need that ability to keep things a secret…”

You blinked, wondering why he would bring that up right now.

“I don’t trust Patricia Rakepick and I definitely don’t want her nor anyone else to find out what is going on in our family. Also, it would cause us both a lot of trouble if people knew what we were up to…”

You nodded slightly, looking a bit nervous again.

“We are the Y/L/Ns… We are known for the Dark Arts and secrets. It’s a matter of time before they would think you are up to no good either. No matter if you are actually doing something good. It’s better to be prepared for the worst-case scenario.” He said seriously. “I’m just going to teach you how to protect your mind from others.”

  “If you can see inside Jacob’s mind, maybe he can see inside your mind as well.” Your grandfather said honestly.

“Is that a bad thing…?” You asked, looking slightly more worried.

“We don’t know what Jacob is like. He could have changed completely over the years. We wouldn’t want him to take advantage of you, would you?”

“No…?” You said softly.

“Very well, then we should begin this training.” He said seriously. “It’s time to control your emotions. I’m pretty sure you haven’t forgotten how to control them, have you?”

“Of course not… I know how to control my emotions.”

“You also need a lot of patience… I hope you are ready for this… Try to get me out of your mind.” He said seriously before he began using Legilimency on me.

_____________

Do you want a part two?

What main pairing(s) would you like to see? 

fem!reader x Barnaby Lee

fem!reader x Charlie Weasley

fem!reader x Bill Weasley

fem!reader x Ben Copper

fem!reader x Tulip Karasu

fem!reader x Penny Haywood

fem!reader x Merula Snyde

Or do you want a story without a pairing? Please leave a comment and let me know what you would like to see in the next part ^^

[lexrius]

Miracles

Miracles. Romania (November 2003) I awoke with a cold sweat to the sound of the grandfather clock chiming at the stroke of midnight. Charlie's arms wrapped around my body. My stomach lurched and twisted. I rushed out towards the bathroom as my stomach lurched more. Bile and last nights dinner came forward and into the toilet. I heard the bed rustle in the other room. Footsteps appeared behind me and my hair was pulled back. "Easy love...." I felt rough a rough calloused hand on my bare back; rubbing small circles in between my shoulder blades. "Was it dinner darling?" I shook my head as I gasped. I wiped my mouth on an old towel and leaned against Charlie, My head was spinning. He rubbed his hands on my shoulders and kissed the back of my head. "I don't know what caused this all of a sudden. I just woke up feeling ill." I then stopped and placed my hand on my stomach. "That's not possible.....L-let's get back to bed. I'll go see a healer tomorrow." Charlie nodded and helped me up. ---- I sat on the small bed waiting for the healer to come back. My hands shook in fear and excitement. 'This isn't possible. I can't bare anymore.' I heard the door open and I looked up to see the healer walk in. "Your speculations are correct Mrs. Weasley. Congratulations Viper; you're pregnant!" I looked at her in disbelief. I left the healers tent with my stomach in knots and my heart fluttering. My feet trudged in the snow heading up to the cottage. The sound of dragons in the distance. I made my way to our stables where Storm was waiting for his afternoon hay. I gave him the hay and brushed his coat. The Granian bumped his nose against my stomach. "So that's why you've been doing that? You knew?" I placed my hand on his snout and rubbed the soft fur with my thumb. I walked inside and put a kettle on the stove. Then tended to the garden outside. "Viper!" I turned and spotted Charlie walking towards me. I smiled and rushed over to him. "How was work love?" I kissed him on the cheek. He buried his face in the crook of my neck,"Like everyday love; amazing. Especially coming home to you. How was the visit to the healer?" I stopped him with my hand,"How about we discuss this over tea. I hear the kettle boiling." I kissed him and walked in the house. I fixed him a cup of tea which he gladly accepted. "So what did the healer say?" He asked me with a worried look in his eyes. I took a sip of my tea then put it down. "I-I had a hunch. There's only one other time I have felt like this." I looked up at him and smiled,"I don't know how, but Charlie..." I took a nervous breathe,"I'm pregnant...." I looked at him worried. He looked at me in shock and dropped his tea cup. He rushed towards me and embraced me,"I'm gonna be a dad?" I nodded and returned his embrace,"Charlie! We're going to be parents!" I finally cried out. Tears fell down my face as Charlie kissed my temple. "Mum will be so happy to hear she is getting another grandchild." Charlie laughed kissing me. Tears streamed down his face. He placed his hand on my stomach rubbing it lightly. By nightfall I laid curled in a blanket with a book in my hand. I looked outside to see  the snow falling on too our front yard. Charlie sat up and looked over to me with tired eyes. "Can't sleep?" He asked rubbing my back. "Yeah. I just can't seem to fall asleep." I leaned into him. My eyes now feeling heavy. Charlie noticed this and marked my page and put my book on the nightstand. He then turned the light off and pulled me down with him. "You're anxious and most likely nervous considering what happened last time." He spoke softly. He wasn't wrong. I am happy that I'm pregnant, but the last time I was our child died before it was even born. "When do you want to tell everyone?" I asked. He scratched his beard in thought,"Might as well do it on Christmas." He kissed my forehead and pulled me closer. "Get some sleep love. We have a busy next few weeks." I smiled and snuggled closer to him. --- It was a rough few weeks to get by. The morning sickness was brutal. I would spend about an hour in the bathroom or with a bucket next to me. I was snapping at Charlie more. I noticed my stomach was slightly bigger. Christmas was two days away now and we were invited to stay there with Molly and Arthur. We apparated to the Burrow which was a terrible decision as I immediately threw up afterwards. "Okay...no more apparating. Let's head inside love." We walked towards the house and was greeted by Molly with open arms. "Charlie! Viper! It's so good to see you! How are you both?" She pulled Charlie into a hug and then me. "We've been really good Molly! Let's head inside it is incredibly chilly outside." We made our way in and saw that Bill, Fleur, George and Angelina were already here. I even saw little Victoire playing with her toys. Bill noticed us come in and raised his water glass,"Well look what the owl finally delivered!" Fleur came up to me and embraced me as well as Angelina. "You make it seem like we hadn't been around in a while." I playfully punched him. I felt little hands on my leg. I looked down and saw Victoire hugging my leg. I smiled and picked her up,"And how is my little niece doing!? Are you behaving?" I blew a raspberry on her cheek making the little girl giggle. "You are so good with kids. 'ave you and Charlie ever thought of having any?" I looked at Fleur then to Victoire and nodded,"We've been thinking about it." I looked over to Charlie who was chatting with George and Bill. Angelina joined Fleur and I. She brought Fleur and I wine while she only had a pop. I put Victoire down who went to her grandpa who was working on a radio. "You are not going to drink with us Ange?" I asked her. She shook her head and leaned in close. "I can't. We're going to surprise everyone on Christmas morning. I'm pregnant!" I looked at her in shock,"How long?" She moved her jacket and showed the tiny but noticeable baby bump,"Three months!" I laughed and handed her my wine glass,"Well while we're on the subject I need  pop too." Fleur looked at me flabbergasted,"But I thought you couldn't-" I smiled,"It's a bloody miracle, but I'm pregnant as well. Charlie and I were going to do the same thing and surprise Molly." Angelina and Fleur both put down their drinks and hugged me tightly. "Wait how long are you?" Angelina asked. "About a month. Maybe two. The healer didn't tell me how long I was." Angelina handed me a pop with a smile. We heard a pop outside the house and spotted Ginny and Harry walking up and he had little Teddy with him. They walked in and Victoire wobbled over to Harry who was holding Teddy. He put Teddy down and watched as Teddy and Victoire hugged and went to play with the toys. Ron and Hermione showed up not much later. Percy was the last to show up because of his job. ---- After helping Molly with dinner we all sat down and talked about all kinds of things. George then stood up and raised his glass. "We have an announcement to make. Angelina and I are going to have a baby!" Molly squealed while everyone else was freaking out. Charlie looked at me in shock. "I guess its just that time of year." I laughed quietly. We finished with dinner and watched as Harry and the other Weasley's hopped on brooms and started playing against one another. Molly stood next to me with a smile on her face. "You and Charlie seem to be doing well. Has life in Romania been nice?" She asked. "It's been lovely. But I can't wait to get back to my students." I smiled and watched as Harry and Charlie chased the snitch. "Well I was just saying that you are just glow-" She stopped and looked at me with shock,"Oh my God! Are you?!" She pointed at me in excitement. "Surprise." I smiled,"We didn't want to take away from George and Angelina." Molly had tears in her eyes as she hugged me. "You should announce it tomorrow morning when we're opening presents!" She squealed. "It was supposed to be your Christmas present Molly!" I laughed. We noticed them land and now covered in sweat and dirt. Charlie walked up to me and kissed me on the cheek. "Love you should've played! Everyone knows you are the best chaser in all of Hogwarts history!" He said. Ginny thumped him on the head and glared at him. "Well if your brain worked correctly; you would remember that I am the best Chaser in Hogwarts history. I play for the Holly head Harpies remember?" "Yeah but Viper was given the opportunity to play for Ireland!" He stated. "But she's from England, why wouldn't the England team offer her?" Hermione asked. "They were too busy trying to get Charlie on their team. Plus my mum is from Ireland." I told her. Molly then invited us inside for tea. I enjoyed the fresh smell of peach tea. We sat and talked for a good hour when I noticed the time,"It's getting late. We should head out." I placed my hand on Charlie's arm. HE nodded in agreement. We said our goodbyes and left for the night. That Christmas was the best Christmas the Weasley family had ever had. ---- Seven months later. I laid in bed listening to the summer wind's lullaby. I hummed as I rubbed my stomach calming the two babies that were kicking my ribs. I looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly midnight. Charlie had been working all day and night. I winced as another round of kicks hit my ribs. I jumped as I heard the door crack open. "Lumos!" I whispered as I pointed my wand at a tired looking Charlie. "God Charlie; you nearly gave me a heart attack!" I sighed. He grinned at me and stripped his shirt off. I threw a pillow at his head causing him to laugh. He leaned towards me and kissed me gently,"Now you going to tell me what's wrong love?" I looked at him confused,"What do you mean?" "You look like hell darling." He rubbed his thumb on my cheek,"Plus you're still awake. You should be sleeping." I sighed,"The twins are keeping me awake. It's almost like they're playing football in my stomach!" Charlie brought his hand down to my stomach and began to rub circles. He leaned forward and kissed my ribs,"Will you two stop kicking you're mother? She's not a football you know." He smiled as he kiss my stomach again. The pain went away and soon I drifted to sleep, but not before getting a kiss from my love and hear a whispered,"I love you." I felt like I had only slept for a couple of minutes when I woke up in pain. I sat up and rubbed my back thinking it was just an early contraction. I tried to lie down again but another shot of pain went through my body. I whimpered and shook Charlie. "Charlie...Charlie!" When he didn't budge I grabbed my pillow and swung it at him. "Bloody hell woman!? What do you want?" He looked at me groggily. I felt liquid pour down my leg and panic ensured my heart,"We need to go to the healer...NOW!" He rubbed his eyes and then froze,"Wait, but you shouldn't be due for another two months!" "She said they could come early! Charles, my water just broke!" He grabbed a shirt and pants and then helped dress me before rushing me to the hospital. I was now in serious pain and my breathing felt labored. I felt Charlie's hand on mine. A glint of joy in his eyes on that worried freckled face of his. ---- After 17 hours of labor pains, screaming and Charlie trying to calm me down; the cries of our children filled the room. The healer placed the two bundles in my arms. The baby boy was quietly sleeping while the girl in my other arm was crying out loud. Tears fell from my eyes as I held my children in my arms. "They're beautiful." I brushed my thumb over the blue blanket. Charlie looked in awe as he sat down next to me on the hospital bed. He kissed my forehead and smiled down at our new additions. "Of course they are. They take after their mother." He kissed my shoulder. "Nuh uh. Our daughter has your hair. Look; it's red." He looked and smiled at the baby girl. I handed our daughter to Charlie,"Easy with her head." "I have younger siblings Viper; remember?" He cradled our daughter close to his chest while cooing at her. "What do you think of the name Avalon?" I asked him,"Ava for short. Our little apple." He smiled and kissed Ava's head. "And what about Gideon?" He looked at the baby boy in my arms. "After your late uncle?" "Yeah. My uncle's were the bravest men I've ever known." He leaned into me as he smiled at our children. ----- (Three years later) I watched as the two three year old kids running around the house chasing Galleo. Charlie laughed as he caught Ava and gave her a raspberry on the cheek. Gideon ran into the kitchen looking at me with his big ol' blue eyes at me. I gave him three cookies,"Share with your father and sister." I laughed as he waddled over to Charlie and Ava. Charlie put Ava down and grabbed the cookie from Gideon with a smile. He made his way into the kitchen with me as I pulled another batch of cookies out of the oven. I hummed to the music playing on the radio. I smiled at the papers on the counter that were faced down. "You seem very cheerful today love; any good news?" He asked me kissing my temple. "Only one." I smiled as he wrapped his arms around me. "Mmm and what would that be love?" I turned and looked him in the eyes,"What do you think about having one more?" I said glancing towards our children who were playing with their toys. Charlie looked at me in shock,"Well I'd be thrilled but do you want to go through the pregnancy?" He looked at me with worry. "The healer said I would be fine. My body's healed enough to the point where there would be no complications." I smiled as I handed him the papers. "That's gre- healer? When did you go see a healer?" He looked at me in confusion. "When I started getting sick the last couple of days." I hinted. He then looked at the paper in his hand and then back at me,"Wait...you're-!?" I nodded and waited for his response. He laughed and pulled me into a tight hug. "We're going to have another baby!" I laughed as I hugged him back. The two kids were looking at us in confusion. I smiled and looked over to Charlie,"So do you want to break the news to them or do you want me?" I laughed at him. We made our way to the kids with smiles on our faces. I looked in the corner and I saw Jacob smiling at me and the kids. I felt my heart break as he then disappeared. Jacob. That would be a good name for our son.

[m-is-for-mungo]

So, I think it's time.

Personal time, scroll past if you aren't interested. I wish I could say I made any of this up.

TW: emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse, homelessness, depression, incest, dog death

Some of y'all may remember that I moved to Montana and basically kept the blog updated with my journey. Some of my mutuals know why I moved. But I'm ready to talk about it.

I moved to Pennsylvania in 2016 to live with my then fiance. I was pressured into moving much sooner than I wanted, to a place me and him had never discussed prior to his dad getting him a state job in Mansfield, Pennsylvania. I had to drop out of college, I left all my friends and family. I gave up musical theatre, and missed out on a big part that had my name on it because my fiance and his mother had been badgering me and pressuring me to move early.

So I did.

One memory that is burned into my mind is my mom standing in my grandmother's kitchen asking me one last time if I was sure I wanted to do this, and that it wasn't too late for us to just drive back home. I wish I had gone home.

But I drove alone to an apartment I had never seen before. While I was in those four walls, I was subjected to verbal abuse, emotional abuse and neglect, the deepest bout of depression I had ever had and am still recovering from, and that was just from my fiance. That doesn't include the abuse from his mother, the constant "You aren't good enough for my son," "when are you giving us grandchildren, we were your age when we had [ex-fiance]." I was 22. He was 24. We were barely making it with us two and a dog, and they expected me to get pregnant and have a grandchild for them.

This went on for a year, in person. We had been on the bad end of the relationship before I ever moved but I thought it would fix things. I threatened to leave multiple times, but how could I leave with not enough money to get home, care for my dog on the trip, fuck myself I could make it but I was worried for her. So I stayed.

I stayed even though I was being abused. Emotionally, verbally, and sexually. I overheard him every night on the PS4 talking to his friends how much of a cunt I was, if sex hurt, it wasn't his problem, how I don't do anything for him.

I cooked, I cleaned, I took care of him. I wasn't his partner, i was his second mother.

A year and some change in, I finally had it. I sat him down and I gave him his ring back and I told him I could no longer be with him. I would start working and save up money and get out, but until then, he had to work with me and be a roommate and just make the best of it.

A month later, he lost his job and began to pull unemployment. He would stay up nights on end, playing games with his friends until he would pass out where he laid, stay there for 16-20 hours, wake up, and repeat. During this time, I reached 245 pounds because I was emotionally eating and no longer cared for myself.

He and I spoke briefly about him considering moving back with his parents, as during this time, my parents sold the house in Mississippi and moved to Montana. It was no longer an easy drive for me to leave. 2 days of travel turned into 4. He said he would think about it. He left to see his parents for Christmas of 2017. On January 2nd, 2018, I got a message from him that he would be coming up on the 4th to get his stuff.

He had not involved me in any decisions.

I had $1.14 in my account.

I had no phone as he hadn't bothered to pay any bills for months.

I had no food.

My tires were going bad in my car.

And I had a sick dog.

That night, or early in the morning of the 3rd, my sweet Lily died. She had started to have seizures and I had nothing to help her. I couldn't get a hold of my ex to have him call an emergency vet. My mom couldn't get a hold of him, and she did her best for being across the country. I still hear Lily's last breath in my head. I remember the scream ripping through my chest and the absolute despair I felt.

And all he had to say to me was "I knew she was sick but I didn't do anything about it."

So I cut contact with him. I paid 4 and 5 months backed bills on a part time minimum wage job, leaving me pennies to live off of. My parents did the best they could, they paid my rent so I could still have a roof.

I went months alone. I lost 40 pounds that first month he was gone. Whether it was not eating, not eating the shitty junk food he ordered every night, or the stress, I don't know why I lost so much so fast.

And then my ex boyfriend came into the picture. I had worked with him for months at goodwill. Harmless flirting, he had a girlfriend after all. Just a joke here or there, and then we'd get back to our tasks. Until one day he came in, looking rough as hell, and only said "I don't have a girlfriend anymore."

So I reached out to him. He had been cheated on once again by the girl, and was hurting a lot more than he was showing. So I gave him a hand up. I didn't want to see him sad. And as we talked, he got deeper and deeper and he cried. I offered him a place to stay, since he had nowhere that was safe. And we started dating.

My lease would be up by the end of this month, and so we worked and worked on my place, we both quit goodwill and got much better jobs. He was able to start his much sooner than I did. Things were honestly looking up. He reconnected with his dad, who offered us a home. So slowly, we moved my stuff over there.

And then it happened.

On a Tuesday night in May, we moved the last bit of my stuff to his dad's. We had a great night, and he asked me if I regretted anything. I told him I didn't.

Wednesday morning, we had a small spat and he left. Walked back to his ex girlfriend and reconciled.

Thursday, my dad flew out and we got my affairs in order.

Friday, I no longer had a place that I could say I lived. My parents shelled over money to get a uhaul and my ex' s dad was a good man who took the day off so I could get my stuff, and I wrangled up some friends to help me pack the uhaul. Me and his dad were talking when his phone, my phone, and his step mothers phone all went off at the same time. His aunt had been keeping an eye on the situation and sent out a screenshot of his Facebook where he announced that he asked his ex to marry him.

They're step siblings.

By Sunday morning, they were married and me and my dad were in Illinois.

And the rest has been... blessedly boring since I've moved to Montana. I stayed with my parents for two months. I got my head on straight and then moved an hour away and have been providing for myself. I met some great friends, both irl and online. I've met an incredible guy, Matt, or as Oz calls him, Rangar the Red.

I'm happy. I don't feel the need to run away to Tumblr for an escape nearly as much as I did when I originally made this blog. It has finally moved into a "I'm doing this because I enjoy this community and content", not "I spend my every waking moment on Tumblr because if I stay in reality too long, it'll be the end of me."

And I know this was long, and I promise, I left a lot out, but I needed to get it out. I've talked about it here and there to friends, but it's finally become my story to tell and I'm at peace with what I have left in the past.

I appreciate every single one of y'all. For a while, this blog was my only purpose. And each and every one of y'all were my reason to get up for another day and provide what little content I had to share.

I will never be able to properly convey how much you all mean to me, but I can keep trying.

[thatssomental-blog]

Too Coward for the "Coward's Way Out": Living with Passive Suicidal Ideation

TW: This article may be hard for some to read, but is intended to assist others who may be dealing with passive, or active, suicidal ideations. The following text contains details of suicidal thoughts (without intent) and mentions self harm (briefly, and without detail), in addition to depression and it’s relationship with suicidal thoughts. 

So many people label suicide as the “coward’s way out”. If that’s true, then why is it that I feel like a coward because I could never follow through? Passive suicidal ideation is defined as wishing you were dead or that you could die, but having no intention to take your own life. Whereas, active suicidal ideation means one is not only struggling with these thoughts, but may have full intention, or a plan already in place, to take their own life. Passive suicidal ideation is still a risk factor among patients with depression and suicidal thoughts, and just because you are not planning your great escape from this world now, doesn’t mean you should skip out on your therapy sessions. All that being said, it is very real, your thoughts are just as valid, and you are not alone in feeling the way that you do.

Before I continue, I would like to specify that “wishing you were dead or that you could die” isn’t a reference to how you feel waking up in the morning, before you reluctantly drag yourself to work/school, it is in reference to a very real, deep desire to stop living, that may come or go, or may stay with you incessantly, even on your best days when everything seems hunky-dory. I am specifying this, because as someone who suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, the mental illnesses that myself and others suffer through daily are not meant to be #relatable, just because you like things neatly organized or hate your job/school.

My own struggle with suicidal thoughts is a plague that I can't seem to get rid of. I suffered from them long before I even knew what suicide truly was. I was about 14 when the first thought came along, and I clearly remember it. I was putting away the clean dishes and took a knife from the dishwasher. I stood there for about five minutes straight, just staring at it, and thinking that I could just slash my wrist open and the numbness I’d been feeling for weeks would all go away. I scared myself with that thought, put the knife away, and didn’t do it; I couldn’t do it, and I wouldn’t have done it. I can’t remember any other thoughts as vividly as that single instance, but sometimes they were there, and sometimes they weren’t, and every time I had them I could never bring myself to act on them.

Health care is necessary for a healthy life. In the US healthcare is expensive, whether you have coverage or not. Health Insurance, especially with Mental Health included, is hard to come by. Even if you’re one of the “lucky” ones that manages to land a job that provides it, a good plan for yourself, not to mention a whole family, can easily eat up what little bit of wages you work for, and have to live off of. In the past several years, life has been difficult for me, though it was mostly adjusting to living the independent life, learning how to pay bills, and learning how to take care of myself. Despite all of the challenges and obstacles I’ve faced in that time, I was doing pretty well. Even through the trauma of sudden death, which my family is not equipped to handle, I managed. Within the past eight months, I attempted to better my situation by leaving a toxic work environment and moving on to something new. Unfortunately, by choosing to leave that job I also left what little health coverage I had, and since have had to move on to even worse challenges and obstacles, all with untreated, depression, anxiety, body and gender dysphoria, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. If you’ve never been through that, I’ll tell you right now that it is hell, and as petty as I am, I wouldn’t wish anything I’ve been through on my worst enemies.

Factoring in all of the above, with the soul crushing feeling that your whole life and all of your freedom is crashing down around you, like an imploding dumpster fire, it really adds up. In my last few months before moving back home with Mom and Dad, something none of us want to do even if we love our parents with a fiery passion, I was at rock bottom. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything but the bare minimum, which made moving day tougher than it already was, and left me feeling hopeless and drained of life. I would lay on my couch for hours, wrapped in a blanket, staring at the wall with an empty mind and heavy heart, it was the worst I had ever been, and I allowed myself to wallow in it, only making it worse.

Even now that I am home, and surrounded by the love of my family, I frequently wish I was dead. I don’t think such things only when everything is going wrong in my life, but the harder times get the more I just want all the pain to go away. I think of scenarios in which I could put myself out of my misery. I own a gun, I have access to others, and medications, not to mention every knife in the block or kitchen drawer that could easily end all of my suffering. But, why is it that despite my desires to no longer deal with life's stresses, my battle with my seemingly, ever changing, gender identity, and my unbridled hatred for the world we live in and the multitude or horrible people in it, do I refrain? Why, when it seems like the only option for peace of mind and escape from the emotions I can’t control, can I not do it? Why, when I wish for the calming embrace of death, do I fear strangers who could kill me in cold blood? Why, if I want to die, did I seek medical attention, without any health coverage, and go to the ER when I legitimately thought I was dying?

Fear of the unknown. I was raised in the Christian faith from a very young age, and was even baptized twice. My mother was raised within that same faith, and my father is an atheist. Despite my current pagan-leaning/agnostic dogma, there is a fear bread into me from childhood that I will burn in hell. Since becoming “woke”, so to say, I have completely denounced the Christian god for what he is. Despite my genuine certainty that this god does not exist, and if he does, he’s actually quite a terrible deity, because of how I was raised, I will more than likely carry that fear of denouncing him and burning in hell with me, for the rest of my life. Religion aside, and taking things from an atheistic perspective, maybe I’m just going into a hole in the ground when I die, but the thought of everything being black forever is also terrifying for me. Even though I am aware that, in this scenario, I will literally not be conscious of my own death, it is almost impossible for me to wrap my head around it, and as someone who has exhibited a very present case of FOMO all of their life, that just doesn’t fly with me. Regardless of whether we go to sit at Odin’s table in Valhalla, or up to a magic golden kingdom in the clouds where everyone is happy and wants for nothing, or we just literally kill over like a toy with dead batteries, no one actually knows until they actually die.

Fear of failure. I have had a very hard time succeeding at pretty much everything I’ve tried in life. No matter what I do, I never feel like the product is good enough. I am my own worst critic, and, on top of that, I am a rage-quitter. If I am not instantly or naturally good at something, I get bent out of shape when I mess it up, maybe I cry, then I quit, and I move on. (Though that statement doesn’t apply to absolutely everything, it applies to a pretty big chunk of things.) One of the greatest fears that keeps me from “attempting” is knowing that if I mess up, I may not recover. Some people are saved at the last minute, and depending on what you’ve done to yourself, sometimes the wounds or the manner in which you’ve attempted will mend. However, if some things are done incorrectly, i.e. putting a bullet in your brain, or a fall that just wasn’t quite big enough to kill you, you may still survive, but there could be permanent consequences such as brain damage, loss of mobility, etc. I’m sure you catch my drift. I suppose this also technically falls under fear of the unknown, because you never truly know what’s going to happen until it does. Sometimes you just have to stop and ask yourself, would you rather be depressed and fully functional to the best of your capabilities? Or depresses and handicapped, and therefore, with your anxious/depressed brain, if it works anything like mine, an even heavier burden on those around you?

Forcing others to suffer. I am very lucky to have an amazing family that is full of love. Even for those of us living a life that others may not agree with, disowning and/or not loving one another is not in our vocabulary. I am very close to my mother and my grandmother, and it would devastate them beyond comprehension. That used to be my only line of thinking, however things have happened and times have changed. Less than two years ago, we buried my grandmother’s youngest child, my mother’s youngest sister, and one of my best friends, who was more like my sister than my aunt, along with her unborn son. Even if I intended to follow through on my own suicidal thoughts, and even excluding the above reasons, I could never force my mother to bury her only child, or my grandmother to bury another grandchild. I also have an amazing SO and friends who would at least be a little devastated, as well.

I just can’t. Ignoring every other reason I have included, I just can’t do it. Despite my fear of death, failure, and hurting those I love most, I just don’t have it in me. It’s not the pain that I worry about, one could easily swallow a bunch of sleeping pills and hope to not wake up, and as much as I hate to admit it, I have physically self harmed before, way back in my teen years. I don’t know how else to explain it, other than I just can’t. I have a huge fear of missing out, if I don’t know all the details of something it will drive me nuts, and I hate surprises. Despite how great it would be to just not have to worry, and despite how hopeless I feel, there is a part of me that knows something better is coming. If I were to take my own life, there are countless things I would miss out on, things I’ve always wanted and things that I may not even know that I want yet. The future is a mystery, and I’ll never find out what it holds if I don’t have one.

Do those things make my suicidal thoughts invalid? No, and though your reasons behind your lack/full intent may differ from mine, they do not make yours any less valid, either.

I am by no means encouraging suicide, though if you ever lose your battle just know that I will never call you a coward when you’re gone. Suicide is the final side-effect of losing your battle with a very real illness, one that may not be visible to even those closest to you.

My parting wisdom is this: Whether you intend to follow through on your suicidal ideations or not, if you take your own life, you will never be around to see it get better. I know it seems hopeless, I personally feel hopeless about 95% of the time, and I know that sometimes it seems like the only escape from not only the world, but your own mind. I really do. I know it hurts, and even if I don’t know what you’re going through, or how you feel, perseverance is the answer, not death. If you are strong enough to make it this far, through all the grief and torment and suffering, then you are strong enough to build your own future. Please don’t take that away from yourself, no matter how much you may want to.

If you, or someone you love is feeling suicidal, please check thatssomental.tumblr.com/resources for a list of suicide and mental help phone lines, chats, and websites.

©thatssomental.tumblr.com 2019

[stitching-in-time]

Oh boy I saw the DW Christmas special and I have to vent:

I'm quite frankly appalled by the anti-First Doctor smear campaign in the Christmas special. I wasn’t gonna watch it, but my mom was watching it while I was making Christmas cookies so I couldn’t tune it out entirely- I can confirm that it was 100% as bad we all feared. I have no idea why they dragged the First Doctor into it at all, because it added nothing to the story, and it was just used as an opportunity to portray him as a doddering, clueless old chauvinist, which is neither accurate nor funny. 

And holy mackerel, if I hear one more person use that ‘jolly good smack bottom’ line as proof of the Doctor’s sexism, I’m gonna scream. In the actual First Doctor era, that line was said by a grandparent to their grandchild who was a teenager. People speak a lot more familiarly to their kids than to strangers- the Doctor being annoyed and teasing his grandchild for getting into trouble is a lot different than eavesdropping on a conversation that doesn’t involve him, and then saying such a thing to a grown-up, adult woman who is a complete stranger, whom he has no parental relationship with. I mean honestly, what the fuck? The First Doctor would never have been so rude to Bill. 

And don’t even get me started on the sexism and racism inherent in having him expect Bill to be the cleaning girl(!!!). Holy fuck Steven Moffatt, what are you doing? It’s unbelievable that he would think these attitudes are comedic, and yet here he is, in the year of our lord 2017, writing the Doctor as a prejudiced asshole for his own amusement, under the guise of showing how much more ‘enlightened’ we are now. Does no one see the irony in that? I suppose I shouldn’t expect any better from a man who seriously said that Rory being distracted by Amy wearing a short skirt is Amy’s fault, but when he’s using my favorite characters as the avatars for this bullshit, I’m going to be a little salty. 

I gave up watching New Who because I didn’t like what I was seeing anymore, and I was so happy to find Classic Who so that I could still have more Doctor Who adventures to watch without dealing with the things that bothered me in New Who. But now even that’s getting crapped on by the current show, and I honestly don’t see why they can’t just play in their sandbox and leave us to play in ours without having to insult us to feel better about themselves.

Please kids, don’t think this is anything like what the classic series was about!

I sincerely hope Jodie’s stories will be better written. She deserves better, and so do we.

[vestedbeauty]

Midlife Woman Discovers the Trees Are Still Green on Life's Detours

New Post has been published on https://vestedbeauty.com/midlife-woman-discovers-the-trees-are-still-green-on-lifes-detours/

Midlife Woman Discovers the Trees Are Still Green on Life's Detours

Puzzled by your own life’s detours? This lady has a gift for you.

Young women make plans. Older women do, too. But we know that even if the plans we made as young women mostly played out, the path from here to there took some twists. Even more, we know that sometimes life’s detours gave us a better view than we ever imagined. Teresa unwrapped a surprising gift in midlife – and she’ll share it with you.

Peace and Quiet in a Small Minnesota Town

Follow her gaze, and you’ll feel your stress melt away. Leaves on the trees fluttering in a gentle breeze. Frogs croak in the tall grass rimming the nearby pond. Her napping dog sighs and snores, the model of contentment.

It wasn’t always like this. There were days, even years when Teresa’s path looked like it was descending into hell instead of anything resembling this idyllic scene. When we first met, this destination wasn’t even a dream yet. 

A lifetime ago, I’d written a book and created a course for moms who wanted to stay home and get paid to write. To test out whether my strategy would work as well for others as it had for me, I posted on WAHM.com, an old-school bulletin board. I offered the course free. Despite that price tag, the responses to my offer ranged from silence to downright ugliness. However, Teresa jumped in with both feet. She says I taught her everything she needed to get going and build a business that fed her family for years.

But running a successful business doesn’t mean life suddenly turns sunny every day. It doesn’t undo the damage we sustained beforehand. And it certainly doesn’t mean we suddenly know how to love ourselves – or others.

“This is who I am, with all my flaws, faults, weirdness, and crazy path. And it’s okay.”

Here’s the story of how this 58-year-old gave herself – and everyone around her – the best gift ever.

Tell Me What You Want, What You Really, Really Want

Teresa says one part of my book really shook her. It was the part where I talked about being bold enough to ask for what you want from your business… and your life.

Honestly, answering, “What do you want?” is pretty tough for many people. I’ve seen people paralyzed by pondering that question. Ask a kid, and you’ll get an answer immediately. Ask an adult, and they’re likely to go into a tailspin. We want a list of available options to choose from so we can answer. 

Of course, it’s a lot easier to rattle off all the things we don’t want.

That’s not a bad thing. It just takes a little thoughtful reverse engineering to turn a “don’t want” list into a more resourceful line of thought.

But that’s not what many people do. They recite the list of what they don’t want, noting where life’s detours have left them hurt, dissatisfied, and feeling like a burned pile of ashes. 

Teresa used that question to create a beautiful life. Not an uncomplicated one, but one that echoes her favorite advice: “It all works out.”

No Stranger to Tragedy and Pain

Teresa’s early childhood looked like any random family in the 1960’s and ’70’s. Remember those days? You’d go outside to play. Mom might even lock the door behind you, and you wouldn’t come home until the street lights came on. She and her five siblings fought, played, and loved each other. Nobody had any hint that everything was about to change.

When she turned nine, her family was in a car accident that killed her mom, a brother, and a sister. Teresa, her dad, and one sister spent a long time recovering in the hospital. After leaving the hospital, it seemed like everyone expected her to just go on with her life.

This was 1972. Counseling wasn’t really a thing. 

Her family was Catholic. The response she most often got in her grief was, “Well, it’s God’s will.” Can you imagine anything more horrible you could tell a child in this situation? “Half your family got killed because God wanted it that way.” 

Deep in his grief and desperate to take care of his surviving children, Teresa’s dad remarried quickly. His new wife instantly became the stepmom to four grieving children. They moved frequently. They did their best to right a life that had turned upside down. Where Teresa’s mom had been all cookies and ice cream, her stepmom was strict – a caretaker who did her best but who found herself in a story gone off the rails.

They also adopted an unspoken rule: “Don’t talk to Dad about it.”

With today’s broader understanding of how humans work, you might be thinking that’s a great way to raise a whole family of alcoholics. And you’d be right.

No writer is complete without a good dog.

The Troubled Years You’d Expect

Teresa says her teenage years were a nightmare, at least from the perspective of a parent. She partied and ran around with boys, grasping at what looked like happiness like her life depended on it.

She got pregnant with her first child. Her landlord sexually abused Teresa, disintegrating any fragile feelings of trust she’d managed to salvage. Teresa began to drink heavily after her daughter was born.

Eleven years later, she had her second daughter and got sober. She’d hired a babysitter to care for her girls while she worked. It turned out that her babysitter’s husband was a pastor. Old-fashioned, wearing homemade dresses, and baking bread from scratch, this woman brought a sense of comfort and safety, a throwback to the distant past. Teresa went through a born-again Christian experience, which set the foundation for her life from then on. She went to Alcoholics Anonymous. She went to church. Life was good.

Eventually, a man came along who swept her off her feet. They married, and Teresa thought maybe life’s detours had come to an end. Perhaps she’d finally found what she always wanted. 

“This is my first wife’s grave.”

Standing in the cemetery on her wedding night, Teresa realized she’d made a horrible mistake. Her groom had just revealed a secret – that in a fit of PTSD-induced rage, he’d shot and killed his first wife. She was wife #5, and she soon discovered that her husband was an abuser on a mission to isolate her from everyone she loved.

“I married a crazy person,” Teresa says. The marriage lasted a total of six months, from the wedding day to divorce. During those six months, Teresa and her girls survived constant abuse and gaslighting. Her husband even managed to have Teresa’s youngest committed to a mental hospital while she was a second-grader… over Christmas vacation.

Breaking free from him was both terrifying and absolutely critical. Teresa began putting the pieces of her life together again.

And then her daughter got pregnant at 16. Teresa was a 35-year-old grandmother. An unexpected blessing, but Teresa loved her grandbaby beyond imagination. “There’s something about a grandchild that’s so different from your own child. This child was my whole world,” she says.

And Now for Something Completely Different

Fast-forward to 2009. Teresa had moved to Minnesota and become active in her church. She even acted in a play her church produced, cast as the wife of a man she’d come to have feelings for. Al was nothing like anyone Teresa had ever dated. He’s a wonderfully kind man, short of stature but tall in character. Not classically handsome, and certainly not the bad boy she’d typically found attractive, Al was just a sweet and devout guy. Knowing he was traditional and a bit old-fashioned, Teresa waited for him to make the first move, which wasn’t easy. But eventually, they married.

If you’re waiting for Al to turn into Mr. Hyde, you’ve been paying attention. Relax. It doesn’t happen!

However, more of life’s detours were in store. Soon after their wedding, Al needed surgery. Then Teresa had a bad pap smear that led to a hysterectomy and a mountain of medical bills – all within four months of their wedding. She also has fibromyalgia, and her body went crazy after the surgery. Where she’d once been energetic and engaged, she became listless and drained. Her social life evaporated.

Not long afterward, one of her grandchildren came out as transgender. While this revelation could shake a family anywhere, living where they do, “this was not okay.” Teresa felt confused, distressed, lost.

Her daughter had been reluctant to talk about it. She’d worried that Teresa and Al would beat them over the head with the Bible. However, her grandchild was more than ready. 

Just Love Her. Just Love Them. Just Love Him.

Teresa prayed and prayed. “God, how do I do this?” God’s answer was clear. “Just love her.” 

As time went on and Teresa started to adjust to this twist, the message changed. “Just love them,” she heard. And then finally, it changed again to, “Just love him.”

One day as Teresa scrolled through Facebook, she saw that her grandchild had a new profile picture and a new name. That’s when it became really real.

“Ask me whatever you want. Say whatever you want to say,” her grandchild told her. Teresa marveled at how well her grandchild was handling it all. “Watching this kid deal with the time it took for his loved ones to get onboard was astonishing,” she says.

A year later, though, as many transgender people do, her grandson was really struggling. He’d dropped out of school and was suicidal. He started going to Teresa’s house during the day to do his schoolwork online. They spent a lot of time together. Teresa’s one goal was to let him know she was on his side no matter what.

Unconditional Love Wins, Even Along Life’s Detours

Some might struggle to reconcile living as an evangelical Christian with fully embracing a trans person. But for Teresa, there was no way she’d have anything but love and compassion for her grandchild. 

She stopped going to church, which caused some challenges in her marriage. After all, their shared faith was the foundation of their marriage, which was changing for Teresa. She battled a lingering sense of fear that this plot twist would wreck her whole life. 

Al had a hard time with it all at first. Teresa describes him as a rule follower, not a rebellious person in any way. “But every single day, he prays in the morning for our family, marriage, and all the grandkids,” she says.

When Kameron turned 18, he went to court to change his name and gender on his driver’s license. He didn’t go alone. Instead, he sat surrounded by his family as witnesses. Al and Teresa united to support him. Teresa says, “From the day Kam’s name change became official, Al’s never used the birth name again. This guy can be a rule follower – it works for him. But he can also accept the fact that I’m not, and we can be okay. That’s when I started having more peace again.”

Teresa puts it beautifully:

“It’s not about tolerance. I’m not about to just tolerate this kid. I love him with my whole heart.”

Life’s Detours Make for Unimaginable Beauty

It was a rough go for a long time for Teresa. Looking back, life was certainly not the smooth ride any child might expect. Even the past decade had some of the toughest times she’d seen. In battling health and financial challenges and emotional upheaval, Teresa went through a debilitating depression that isolated her. She’d found it too hard to focus on her writing, and she felt like she’d destroyed her career.

But her story of life’s detours is one of resilience. She says:

“Even when your dreams don’t pan out the way you plan, misery is a choice. Even when circumstances are tough – and that can make clinical depression worse – it’s up to you to take care of yourself and say, “You know what? Look around. I have a beautiful home, a beautiful yard and trees and a pond I can see, and my family and grandkids.

It all works out. You hit that place where it’s all okay. Even along life’s detours, the trees are just as green. Don’t stop looking for what you really want until you find it. No matter what it is.”

Teresa has become an advocate for LGBTQ people, and you can read more about her story on Medium, and find support on her new Facebook page, Call Your Mama T.