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truthseekerthedragon · 2 years ago

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Thoughts on The Flames of Hope

TW: references to abuse, minor body horror, references to violence, brief reference to drugs

And here… we… go.

So, the book was dumb. Like, in my opinion, worse than TDG levels of dumb. How is it possible for someone to set a bar that low and then trip on it? Like how? I must know how Tui fumbled writing a climax this badly. Tui, you already set up an arc, the payoff was right there, and you still missed it by around two million miles. Somehow.

I’ll be analyzing The Flames of Hope from a storytelling or “troper’s” perspective, meaning I’ll be examining the story in terms of plot, characterization, and how well it tells the story it wants to tell. I’ll be looking at how well characters like Luna are written and dissecting why I like or don’t like certain characters or plot points; I won’t judge the story by whether my favorite character died or if a ship I liked worked out, because that would be silly, although expect my personal opinion on things to slip through every once in a while. Expect a lot of sarcasm.

This has been stewing in my mind for some time, so prepare for a lot of thoughts. Trust me, there is a lot to unpack here.

If you disagree with anything that I say, I wholeheartedly respect your opinion. These are just my personal thoughts, of course, and you hold the right to like/dislike this book or any of the characters in it.

There’s a prologue, I think, but it isn’t important. Who was the PoV in it again?

The story begins with Luna thinking about how she’s some kind of glorious Chosen One and how she wants all the HiveWings to die. Is this supposed to be the good guy? Well, it doesn’t matter, because after the first chapter she will lose all this personality and become blander than cardboard! Tui will, of course, prop up an illusion of a personality by making her think about tapestries a lot. This gimmick will be fun the first couple times it shows up but will wear thin very, very quickly.

Speaking of illusion of personality, pretty much everyone on the secret stealth team has, uh, lost their character traits. Not counting those who had no personality in the first place, of course (Sky), or lost it earlier in the series (Moon). Seriously, I can’t think of a single personality trait of anyone on this team other than “annoying.”

So Luna thinks about everyone on the team or whatever, to maintain the illusion of personality, and at one point she remarks that Bullfrog, the MudWing, has a personality that’s “buried deep inside” or whatever. This is Tui’s excuse for not giving him an actual personality. Seriously, what does Bullfrog do except be dumb, dull, and think about cows? He’s a walking MudWing stereotype. And Tui, being stoic isn’t the same thing as having no personality. You have to show something beneath the emotionless surface, otherwise the emotionless surface is the personality.

The team sets off toward Pantala with the magic items they have. Now let’s go off on a tangent and talk about expectations, and I swear this is relevant to the conversation, so stick with me here.

Before this book came out, fan theories and speculation was wild. Tui had released a few tidbits of information thus far, and we were hungry for more. There was a lot of wild mass guessing about what was going to happen in the book. For instance, there was a lot of talk about the possibility of a cure to the othermind being found, or Monarch being restored to the SilkWing throne, or an “I know you’re in there somewhere” fight between Luna and Blue. Standard fare like that. It’s exactly what you’d expect from a mediocre, tropey writer like Tui T. Sutherland.

Heck, I even wrote a parody of the story based partially on what I thought was going to happen! You know, the usual fare: Sky does something dumb and gets the entire team captured, Wasp keeps prisoners instead of, you know, killing them, Pineapple and Bullfrog dies to establish how dangerous Pantala is, and a few jokey things like a Batman reference and a Wasp redemption arc. *sigh* And an othermind redemption arc, too. It was supposed to be a joke. *sob*

No one honestly believed there was going to be an othermind redemption arc, and no one thought Wasp would get randomly taken out by a side character. Heck, in my parody—which I wrote to be intentionally bad—Luna confronts Wasp directly! There was the occasional joke about the othermind getting redeemed or secretly being a scavenger, but no one took these ideas seriously because no one expected Tui to pull something like that.

And… well, Tui did exactly that, thus subverting audience expectations and sacrificing the story for the sake of shock bait, but I’ll explain that in more detail as I go.

Anyways, back to the story. So the team goes to Pantala. They immediately encounter a HiveWing force before they even reach the main continent, because Tui has to establish how dangerous Pantala is, and—gasp—Moon, who is the most useful member of the team by virtue of being able to read minds and see the future, is captured! Oh noes! Pantala is super dangerous, y’all! Oh, and Qibli and Pineapple get captured too, I guess. And Tsunami.

Also, we see a mind-controlled SilkWing, yada yada oh no everyone’s in danger now! Didn’t we already establish this two books ago? Anyways, the mind-controlled SilkWing uses their spidey-sense—wait, I meant lateral line—wait, I meant antennae—to try and find the invisible protags, but the good guys stay still because that’s totally how “air vibrations” (read: sound) work, so they only grab Moon, Qibli, Pineapple, and Tsunami. That’s actually a lot of dragons.

Oh noes, we need to save Moon now! Speaking of her, you know what makes me sad other than her personality vanishing after MR? We never see her read the minds of the mind-controlled dragons and remark how blank they are or use them to predict Wasp’s movements. We never see her get a vision of the future about anything. We only see her use her powers, like, twice, and once in an incident that doesn’t make sense when you think about it for two seconds, but we’ll get to that later.

So Sundew and Lynx decide to go off and rescue Moon—offscreen, of course, because nothing interesting is allowed to happen in this book—and everyone stays invisible. This is gimmicky for a while, but the novelty of it wears off very quickly, and eventually it just comes off as silly.

The team runs around underground and meet the nonbinary representation character, Axolotl the scavenger! They will only be there to be a cave guide and then will fade into irrelevance, only to reappear in the epilogue where they treat Cricket like a pack animal. Hooray.

What? I’m not salty about the scavengers gaining relevance in this series at all, or the fact that they ride sentient dragons like they’re horses or something! I’ll probably explain this scavenger nonsense in detail in a later post, and why usually-standard fare like scavengers riding dragons is especially egregious in this series.

So anyways. Axolotl the nonbinary rep. I was kind of hoping that a) they would get to assert their gender in the story and b) they would get a lot of screen time. We got neither; Wren just heard their pronouns offscreen. Oh well, at least there isn’t an awkward misgendering moment. Oh, and I wanted the nonbinary representation to be a dragon instead of a hairless monkey, but we can’t have everything, I suppose! No, I’m not bitter at all!

Okay. To be fair, I understand the enby rep getting minimal screentime; Tui’s hands were probably tied due to executive mandates. But I digress.

Tangent: How do Wren and Axo understand each other perfectly even though their societies have been separated for five thousand years? Language drift exists, you know, and given that Tui’s first written work was Shakespeare fanfiction she really should know that. This is like if an English speaker could understand someone speaking Swedish or Dutch, except it’s worse in this case because Pyrrhia and Pantala have been completely isolated from each other, meaning zero loanwords or any of that fun linguistics stuff. The thing with dragons is slightly less egregious, because they’ve been separated for two thousand years and Tsunami describes Willow with a strange accent, but it’s still egregious. This is basically the field of linguistics being set on fire for the sake of plot convenience. And honestly, wouldn’t it be more interesting if dragons struggled to communicate with one another to tell each other things like how dire the situation is?

Anyways, Luna and co get led to a group of other dragons also hiding underground, where we meet a few characters, like Pokeweed. Pokeweed is consistently described by the narrative as slow and dull, but his dialogue is actually quite snarky. This is a problem Tui has in general; she relies too much on tell instead of show, leading to disconnects like this and Bullfrog supposedly having a personality when he doesn’t. Oh, and she overuses said bookisms and adverbs in dialogue tags, which is another symptom of the tell-not-show disease.

Luna also meets a bunch of dragonets, because Tui really likes her dragonet characters. I get that she’s a mother of two, but can we not bog down the narrative with useless tiny sidekicks, please?

One of these dragonets is Dusky the orphan SilkWing from the horrendous Bloodworm Hive, because we need to establish sympathy points for him ASAP! Luna gets attached to him, or something, and later she will do arguably the dumbest action ever undertaken in the series for him. My friends, we call this type of character a plot device.

Some people on Discord also brought up that Dusky's backstory only seemed to be there to justify the Bloodworm Hive burning, so there's also that, I guess. Ugh.

Tangent: I’m still angry that Bloodworm Hive’s burning wasn’t addressed at all. Like, the LeafWings probably killed a bunch of HiveWings, and even if no one died—which is unlikely—that’s still a ninth of the HiveWing and SilkWing population displaced plus all material goods in the Hive lost. Why is no one talking about this? I’m pretty sure this qualifies as a war crime and it wasn’t even brought up in this book. I mean, if the HiveWings did something similar to the LeafWings, we’d hear no end of it, but hey, the good guys did it, and that makes it okay! Remember, kids, if you’re fighting for freedom and the oppressed, that gives you the green light to do whatever horrible things you want, because as we all know, the ends always justify the means! Uh, that got a bit racy there. Let’s go back to the book.

Several chapters go by in which pretty much nothing happens, and then Luna decides to go exploring with Dusky. They come across a mural or something, and Luna thinks about the Scorching and how scavengers took something dragons had or something, according to the myths.

Okay, time for another tangent. Fans have been begging Tui for information on the Scorching since the beginning of time, so Tui decided to hand it over, apparently. This book felt a lot like fanservice at points, and so did the previous book. There’s nothing wrong with blatant fanservice (see Spider-Man: No Way Home), but in this case it felt like a monkey’s paw situation, where we technically got what we asked for, but in the worst way possible. Here, the fanservice itself was bad and hurt the story overall. I’ll dissect this later.

Around here Luna meets that random scavenger we saw in the epilogue of the last book… why was she in that epilogue again?… Anyways, this random scavenger we don’t care half an iota about, Raven, appears here and then disappears for the rest of the book. So what was the point of her appearance—wait a second. Why does she have a raven feather in her hair? Doesn’t she spend, like, all her time underground? Speaking of underground, where do the abyss humans get their food? Do they exclusively eat lichens and mushrooms or something? Why is the worldbuilding in this series so broken?

Oh, right. The thoughts post. Ahem.

So then Vole runs up and kidnaps Dusky, and Luna is like, “Oh no!” And she runs after them.

Short tangent: Vole made an appearance earlier in the story, and Luna described him to have a scraggly beard. I must ask… is there a word in draconic for “beard” now? How does Luna know what a beard is when so far she’s only met female scavengers? Why does Luna distinguish a beard on Vole as opposed to, you know, describing him as hairy and scraggly in general? Questions!

Another short tangent placed here because I don’t know where else to put it: This is a problem pervasive throughout the whole book and the series as a whole, but this book was filled with cheap chapter cliffhangers. You know, like, “The monster turned toward them! Want to know what happened next? Go to the next chapter!” And in the next chapter it turned out to be not a threat. (1) It’s cheap, it’s transparent, it’s annoying, and it’s used as a hook to keep the reader in the book when the plot or characters can’t sustain the reader’s interest. Please stop using them, Tui, or if you have to use them, please make them lead into something interesting.

Anyways, Vole jumps into the glowing green abyss—which, by the way, is near Lake Scorpion as opposed to the sinkhole that appeared in TLC. Oh, you thought that random hole that appeared in the beginning of the arc had to be a Chekhov’s Gun? Nope! It wasn’t important, which pretty much relegates the sinkhole to a random thing that appeared and amounted to nothing. It wasn’t even set up as a red herring.

And here… *sigh*

Here Luna does the dumbest thing anyone does in this entire series.

She YEETs herself after Dusky, plummeting toward certain doom and mind control, to rescue a dragonet she’s only known for a few days.

Who cares if she gets mind controlled! What will the team do without her? Who cares! And it’s not like she’s guaranteed to get mind controlled since she’s literally entering the lair of the othermind. Nope, she’ll risk everything, the entire world even, to rescue a random dragonet.

Now to be fair, someone on Discord pointed out that this actually ties into Luna’s character arc of struggling with her bystander status. But it’s pretty telling that I don’t remember any of that character arc stuff, isn’t it? Shouldn’t something as important as the protagonist’s character arc be remembered by the audience? Oh right, Luna doesn’t have a character arc because she has all the personality of a piece of cardboard. You can’t multiply by zero.

Maybe, just maybe, instead of giving Luna a proper character arc Tui was only paying lip service to it to justify Luna’s monumentally stupid decision.

Now here’s a point you might bring up: Luna was a hero! Of course she had to save Dusky!

Uh, no. Luna had no personality to speak of; we never saw her do anything heroic, we just saw her walk around and act stupid for the entire arc. She’s basically a walking plot device that Tui’s using to further the plot. Luna complaining about the treatment of SilkWings even though she grew up in the system and we, the audience, can clearly see SilkWings being discriminated against? She’s just there to explain things to the audience! Her deciding to leave the caves to use her newfound wings even though it was extremely dangerous outside? She did it so she could get attacked by HiveWings! Her deciding to use her silk while being attacked by HiveWings and being unable to stop spinning silk for some reason while she gets blown away like a chump? She did it so she could get whisked off to Pyrrhia and found by Jerboa!

I’ll bring up a counterexample of someone doing something similar to what Luna did: Peter Parker rescuing the kid in the burning building in Spider-Man 2, and I’m using that film because I’m assuming everyone has seen it, not to mention that it’s brilliant and anyone who says otherwise can zip it. And hey, both Peter (in the Raimi films anyway) and Luna have organic web-shooters and were trying to rescue a kid at huge peril to themselves, so it fits!

At this point Peter has given up his responsibility as Spider-Man after a) being a superhero interfered too much with his normal life and b) he lost his powers. At one point he sees a burning building and, upon hearing that there’s still someone trapped inside, he immediately runs in to rescue the kid at risk of him dying a horrible death, and it’s especially risky since his powers are on the fritz. So why does this work? Because Peter has been previously established to be heroic—it’s part of his backstory of not standing by while something bad happens—not to mention that at this point in the film he’s given up his responsibility as Spider-Man, so to him, he can afford to die.

Does Luna have either of these points going for her? No. She has zero characterization because she’s a walking plot device, and she’s probably the only non-mind-controlled flamesilk at this point and she’s on the secret stealth team—there’s a prophecy, remember? Talons need to unite? That includes Luna. Ergo, she’s important, and she should know it.

Short tangent: I am so tired of these either/or prophecies in these arcs. Did this arc need a prophecy, even? The prophecy just undermines tension, because look, the prophecy said the team would succeed if we did this thing! If we need a prophecy, could we make it ambiguous or easily misinterpreted instead? “You need to do X or Y will happen” wears thin after a while.

But no. Luna YEETs herself after Dusky the plot device even though she really shouldn’t have, and don’t try to pretend it’s anything but Tui using Luna as a puppet for plot reasons.

So she enters the abyss and gets mind-controlled, because of course, but before that she sees a room… with a scavenger husk and a dragonet husk, but with plants growing out of their heads. Gasp! Body horror! Whatever, I’ve seen way worse on the SCP Foundation.

And here we get to the point where the book stops trying to make sense, or even form a resemblance of sense.

Because here, Luna is subjected to three chapters of flashbacks! Hooray! It’s not like that got old in the last book.

Yes, you heard that right. Flashbacks. And to pre-Scorching times. How does this work? It’s never explained! When I was reading this, I initially thought the flashback took place on Earth because the descriptions were confusing. And in case you were wondering, the flashbacks take place on the good ol’ dragon planet. Which still doesn’t have a name, by the way.

So in the never-explained flashbacks, we learn that humans used to rule Pyrrhia, but at one point someone named Cottonmouth decided to steal a bunch of dragon eggs to use as weapons of war, which essentially makes this a poor dragon’s Temeraire. As revenge, the dragons flew out and destroyed human civilization. How the dragons defeated the scavengers during the Scorching when previously they’ve been pushed to the fringes of the wilderness by those same scavengers is never explained. Maybe their rage gave them a powerup or something.

To escape impending death, Cottonmouth and a group of followers set out with a dragon egg, making it to Pantala, finding the breath of evil, somehow connecting it to Cottonmouth’s brain—this is also never explained, by the way—and then Cottonmouth connecting the dragonet from the egg to his brain also. And then they died but their consciousnesses remained alive in the breath of evil. Somehow.

“Animus scavenger” would’ve made more sense. And it would’ve been less convoluted.

Short tangent: People keep asking, so I’ll answer: A cottonmouth is a kind of snake, so named for their white mouths. Because in this series, everyone with a snake name has to be evil or at least be very, very nasty.

It really feels like Tui here was like, “Oh, you don’t like the othermind being a sentient plant? And you want to know what happened during the Scorching? Well, here you go! Might as well kill two birds with one stone!” And we ended up with the othermind being a scavenger and a dragon. Plus a bunch of flashbacks that padded out what was supposed to be, you know, the climax of this arc. Can’t we save this Scorching stuff for a Legends book or that dragon field guide Tui’s working on?

You see, monkey’s paw.

After the flashbacks are done, we’re introduced to two new characters, both of whom I absolutely despise: Cottonmouth the scavenger and the proto-LeafWing-RainWing he has with him, then called Lizard, now called Freedom. I’ll be calling her Freedom throughout this even though she’s technically called Lizard until near the end of the book.

Why do I hate these characters, you might ask? What has Freedom in particular done to earn your seething hatred?

Cottonmouth is obviously meant to be hated, but I don’t hate him because his character is despicable, I hate him because of how he’s written. He’s obviously meant to be the Worst Big Bad Ever in the series, even worse than someone cool like Scarlet, and Tui keeps trying to tell us how obviously dangerous he is. Look! He controls, like, everyone on Pantala! He’s been around since the Scorching! In fact, he started the Scorching! He’s so bad and dangerous, y’all, fear and hate him!

Unfortunately, his execution falls flat. He just comes across as a mean old guy with no real character substance, nor does he have villainous panache to make up for it like Scarlet. I don’t know why I should respect this guy, much less fear him. He kind of reminds me of Hush from the Batman comics in this regard: the OMG Most Dangerous Villain Evar who’s just… blah and boring. And also an annoying jerk. Who’s also gimmicky. Look, folks, Cottonmouth is an old guy who’s dead and his consciousness can mind control things, and he started the Scorching! Look, folks, Hush is a doctor dressed up in bandages for no reason who spouts Plato, and he’s Bruce’s childhood friend and he nearly killed Batman the first time they fought! (2)

There is nothing less cool than an author desperately trying to convince you that their character is cool.

Similarly poor execution afflicted the other character who appeared here, Freedom. She’s obviously meant to be pitied because of her backstory, but she has a terrible personality and it’s hard for me to sympathize with someone like her. She’s abrasive, whiny, selfish, sadistic, and 100% willing to help Cottonmouth, none of which are good character traits. It doesn’t help that she unironically says things like “I BARF at you” and “you bozo,” nor does it help that the narrative is desperately trying to get us to sympathize with her. No one calls her out on her actions; instead, everyone is all, “Oh, poor baby! Cottonmouth abuses you and it’s so sad! Here, have some happy memories!”

And this is coming from the person who sympathized with Winter on account of his abusive family backstory, even though he was a jerk—albeit one who was fundamentally good. Cricket, too, even though she had a less nuanced personality than I normally prefer. I sympathize with characters with abusive parents at the drop of a hat, so you have to be impressively nasty or badly written for me to hate you with a backstory like that.

Now, if Freedom had been instead been written as a terrified dragonet, horrifically traumatized from millennia of abuse from Cottonmouth, afraid to speak most of the time but willing to help Luna out of the goodness of her heart, that would give her way more sympathy points than someone who only helps Luna because it will give her memories and enjoys puppeting dragons.

Hmm, let’s do another comparison. Take Anfang the gryphon from The Gryphon Generation, a self-published series that by all evidence has been read by a total of, like, three people, myself included. This will require a bit more context. Anfang is a nasty character. He toys with his murder victims, he eats people, and yet he still comes off as sympathetic due to a combination of factors: he was a lot nicer before the military experimented on him as shown in flashbacks and Thyra’s thoughts; his horrific crimes, horrific appearance, and lack of societal knowledge make wider society reject him, with Thyra being the only individual who still thinks there’s good in him, and even that can get dubious; Anfang wants to be accepted by Thyra and actually tries to be a better individual, which feeds into his character arc; there’s also the fact that pretty much everyone calls him out on his terrible actions. It helps that he has a nuanced and interesting personality, with differing perspectives on things like love and religion allowing him to foil off characters like Thyra, the protagonist, and Matthew, the big bad.

Both characters have been taught that humans/dragons/whatever are fundamentally selfish and horrible, they’re both controlled by nasty bad guys, and they’re both sadistic, but Anfang isn’t a Karma Houdini—he faces actual consequences for his actions, such as rejection by characters who otherwise might have given him a chance. Freedom, though, is, and no matter what she does, she will be given a free Authorial Get out of Jail Free card, because she’s supposed to be sympathetic, look at the babey! Hey, I think I found the biggest reason why I dislike Freedom so much. (3)

Oh, and how many people expected the othermind to be a scavenger? No one. There were jokes, sure, but no one expected a scavenger othermind for real; again, Tui is pulling twists from thin air because it’ll surprise the audience and subvert expectations. Because what we clearly needed after a plant was revealed to be the twist villain was a second twist villain where we learn that the big bad is actually a scavenger! How thrilling! It’s not like this is gimmicky or cheap or anything. Heck, even Disney dropped the twist villain thing after a while because it was getting old.

Is it possible to write a good villain twist? Yes. Pretty much every Brandon Sanderson story has a twist villain in it. However, these are good twists, and always feel like an extension of the story, where the twist makes sense in hindsight and doesn’t feel gimmicky. Unfortunately, Tui does not have Brandon’s skill in executing plot twists, so her villain twists feel shallow and flat.

Anyways, back to whatever the heck the plot in this book is. Luna, Cottonmouth, and Freedom are chilling in a “mindspace,” which also makes zero sense. Where did it come from? How does it work? Very good questions that Tui will never answer, because details are for suckers. Anyways, using the mindspace, the group telepathically views a scene where Wasp tries to get Pineapple and Qibli to get mind controlled by her or something. Where’s Moon, you may ask? She got busted out earlier by Lynx and Sundew in a daring infiltration scheme that happened entirely offscreen. We will never see this scene, by the way. Nor will we hear a recounting of this story by any of the participants. Instead, we get to listen to Freedom whine, because that’s way more interesting than a retrieval mission!

Short tangent: Why does Wasp always want to mind control dragons and leave them alive for them to be rescued instead of just killing them immediately? Sure, she likes mind control, but she literally has thousands of dragons. She doesn’t need two more drones or puppets or whatever. Oh right, I forgot, she’s a villain in the Wings of Fire series, where intelligence isn’t required for villainy.

At least Malachite is in this scene. He wasn’t forgotten or anything, so kudos to Tui for remembering that he exists.

So Qibli and Pineapple attack Wasp. Oh, right, Tsunami was in this too, I forgot. There’s a fight scene here, except it isn’t very exciting because Luna, the protagonist in her own book, is relegated to a passive bystander while she watches Pineapple defeat Wasp with magical death spit.

Yes. Pineapple, the random side character who was introduced in the last book, was the one who defeated Wasp. Not Luna, who is the protagonist, nor any of the other third arc protags. Pineapple. The random side character. Defeated Wasp.

*sigh*

Again, this is Tui trying to surprise the audience for the sake of a surprise, because who cares about things like payoff? Basic narrative structure is for suckers. It’s not like this undermines the story or anything. And as we all know, The Last Jedi and the eighth season of Game of Thrones are beloved for being pure shock bait!

Oh right, the rainbow blood. For some reason, Wasp has green blood in this scene, and Tsunami’s blood is blue. I have zero idea why Tui made this decision, and it’s even more inexplicable that the editor and beta readers failed to catch this, but whatever. Fandom made a big deal out of it, but I have much bigger problems in this book to dissect, so I don’t really care. It was a mistake on Tui’s part, no one has not-red blood except for IceWings, move on.

Short tangent: By the way, Malachite gets his face set on fire in this scene. But the next time we see him, he’s perfectly alright. Tui does realize that getting your face set on fire is potentially lethal, right? At the very least he should have second-degree burns, which are extremely painful, and facial burns need emergency medical treatment immediately to prevent infection as well as prevent or mitigate a potentially deadly inflammatory response. At the very least Malachite should have some facial scarring and/or be seriously traumatized from the experience. But he’s fine, don’t worry about him!

So anyways, Wasp is defeated by a side character, and Luna wants Freedom to help her friends, but Freedom is selfish so Luna has to trade her memories. The friends escape, but Cottonmouth says he has already infected someone on the team… it’s obviously Pineapple, because Tui displays blatant favoritism towards characters who used to be protags, especially Qibli, and it would be especially undignified for him to get mind controlled! Her boi is too smart for that to happen to him! It would be similarly undignified for this to happen to Tsunami, so by process of elimination the mind-controlled dragon is Pineapple.

After that we see Cottonmouth superimpose himself over Pineapple’s body while he’s flying, which kind of reminds me of that Spider-Man: No Way Home meme. It makes me smile. Seriously, it does.

Now, where was I? Oh, right. It’s pretty clear at this point that Freedom is going to be redeemed, otherwise Luna will be stuck in the abyss forever, and there’s no way Tui’s going to let that happen. I wasn’t looking forward to the redemption arc then and I still hate it now.

So Freedom demands Luna to give her her memories. Oh, right, Dusky was in this too, and she wants his memories as well. So they give her their memories, she sees them, and whines about how boring they are because instead of fighting, she sees… gasp… friendship and family! And Luna starts thinking about how she can manipulate this five-thousand-year-old dragonet into helping them.

Is anyone getting a feeling of deja vu?

Because this is a retread of Snowfall’s character arc in the last book.

A whiny dragonet with immense power and sorely lacking in compassion is shown a series of flashbacks, memories, visions, whatever by a plot point outside her control. This causes the character to reconsider her compassion level and perspective on life and becomes better, or something, and does something that says she’s good now.

It’s almost the exact same thing as the last book. The exact same thing, because… I dunno, because Tui liked what she did with Snowfall and wanted to repeat what she did? Did she consider TDG her best book before TFoH came out, even though it was her worst Wings of Fire book by far at that point? What was Tui thinking here?

Short tangent: Around this time we see a bunch of trees near Lake Scorpion or something like that, meaning Wasp was either too lazy to do her job properly or was a liar.

Oh, and Moon appears in the mindspace, even though she isn’t mind-controlled. This is explained by the fact that she can read minds, but… she listens to dragons’ thoughts, she can’t project them or anything. She’s like a mind radio (does anyone still use radios?); she can pick up transmissions, but can’t broadcast them herself.

But, you may ask, what about in MR when Moon and Darkstalker talked to each other?

Darkstalker was a highly trained mind reader; he was likely taught a method to amplify his thoughts so Moon could hear them more clearly. He can’t project thoughts, and neither can Moon; they were two mind readers conversing with one another by reading each other’s minds. In fact, according to Tui, only a NightWing telepath hatched under a blood moon can project thoughts.

In other words, Tui forgot her own rules about mind reading. All for the sake of plot convenience, because poor babey needs memories because she’s so sad y’all, pity her!

So everyone shares happy memories with Freedom, because there’s nothing sweeter than manipulating an ancient dragonet into helping you while not giving her the full picture of what dragonkind is like, because dragons can’t be vicious at all. Aww! Did Tui and I even grow up on the same planet?

As if the “you’re more than your parents” thing in previous books wasn’t bad enough. Subtle, my a—I mean, uh, subtle, my bucket of worms. Right. Hmm, we’ll shelf the theme discussion for now and talk about it later.

Moon uses her mind reading powers to find out that Pineapple is mind-controlled. Everyone freaks out, Pineapple gets frostbreath to the shoulder, something something. At least the end is near, y’all.

Short tangent: I needn’t mention how the frostbreath to the shoulder is possibly deadly, due to the large amount of important blood vessels, nerves, and muscles in the shoulders, and should’ve incapacitated Pineapple, right? But he’s fine! It’s like nothing happened to him at all! He can still move and fight. It’s like no one can get hurt in this book or something.

Oh, and Freedom gets “redeemed” sometime in this horrendous mess of a plot, because she’s nice now! She thinks all dragons are wonderful and warmhearted. How she missed all Luna and Dusky’s memories of HiveWing oppression is beyond me. How does the memory sharing thing work, anyway? Who cares! Explanations are for losers. (4)

There’s some problems here.

So first, the redemption happened way too quickly. It happened in what, a day? Does Tui expect me to believe that a dragonet who has lived with a certain mindset for thousands of years will just change said mindset in a single day or two because she saw some warm fuzzy memories? I know Tui is the queen of unrealistically quick character development, and it’s always egregious, (5) but it’s the worst here.

Freedom’s actions here are also deeply out of character. She has been selfish for thousands of years; having her suddenly decide to help Luna is deeply out of character and just doesn’t make sense.

Oh look, more examples to contrast this book with! I’ll go back to works everyone’s heard of. Take Anakin Skywalker, for instance, particularly his portrayal in the Clone Wars TV show (the 2008 one, although I’d recommend everyone watch the 2003 miniseries as well). He has a key character trait demonstrated again and again throughout the show: he will sacrifice a lot of things, put himself at risk, and go against orders to save those he loves, like Ahsoka and Obi-Wan. The show highlighted this trait a lot better than the prequel films did, and makes Darth Vader’s sacrifice in Return of the Jedi retroactively better, because fundamentally Anakin never acts out of character; it’s just that the circumstances under which he acts changes. He’ll kill a spy/saboteur to save Obi-Wan and a ship full of politicians, he’ll kill a bunch of kids to save Padme… eugh… and he’ll kill Palpatine to save his son Luke.

I’ll use another example from Spider-Man 2 because I feel like it; you’ll just have to deal with it. Early in the film, Otto Octavius tells Peter that intelligence is a gift, not a privilege, and that he should use it for the good of mankind, establishing that he likes science but prioritizes helping humans. He tries to build a fusion reactor specifically to help humans obtain a source of cheap energy. However, after the reactor experiment goes awry and the tentacles fuse to his spine, the tentacles’ AI start whispering into his brain like tiny metal psychic raptors, influencing him to become a supervillain with no regard for human life; he decides to recreate the failed fusion experiment despite the very real possibility of the reactor going wrong again, this time wiping out a good chunk of NYC.

During the climax, Peter even has to reteach Ock that "intelligence is a gift" lesson from earlier in the film. Ock then demands the tentacles to listen to him, and the metal raptors—I mean tentacle arms—cower and stop influencing him, very clearly demonstrating that Otto could've stopped listening to the tentacles at any time. While events such as the failed fusion project and his wife's death did make him more suscetible to the AI, he still chose to listen and do what the raptor arms said. After that, Otto opts to destroy the out-of-control fusion reactor by dragging it into the river, sacrificing himself in the process and preventing NYC from being destroyed by a miniature sunball. In other words, his "help mankind" nature kicked in, and he did what he had to do.

Why did I use these two examples? Because they’re both examples of the “redemption equals death” trope and their heel-face turn itself occurs at the climax of the story, which is also Freedom's whole deal. I was going to use Zuko as an example of how to do a redemption arc, but didn’t because a) he doesn't fulfill either of the above criteria, making him less relevant to this conversation and b) don’t get me wrong, I love Zuko, but there are roughly two million thinkpieces about what makes him so awesome, making anything I say very redundant, and if you want to compare him to Freedom it wouldn’t be hard to dig up one of those thinkpieces. But I digress.

Is Freedom like either of these characters, where her redemption results from a natural extension of her character? No. She’s been selfish for five thousand years, but will suddenly become selfless because the book demands that you feel bad for her right now!

Some people will argue that Freedom changing her mind makes sense because she’s been exposed to new information, but in my experience, people do not change their minds easily; a conspiracy theorist would rather continue believing a lie than admit they were wrong, even when faced with all evidence to the contrary. A shift in mindset, such as Vin in Mistborn slowly learning to trust and open up to others, only works if it occurs over the course of months or even years. Tui does not do that here.

Also, this redemption wasn’t earned. Characters have to actively work toward their own redemption—they have to strive to be better people. They have to realize what they did was wrong, atone for it, and work to be better, making up for their past decisions. Freedom, though, just suddenly decides to be better because warm fuzzy memories. She doesn’t apologize, much less atone, for thousands of years’ worth of mind controlling who knows how many dragons, because all that happened offscreen and no one cares about those dragons anyway. She doesn’t have to work for her redemption, either; she’s handed the warm fuzzy memories on a silver platter, and she has zero self-doubts or internal struggles. She doesn’t have to work for anything, because look at the babey, isn’t she cute! If you don’t feel bad for her, you are a heartless monster and therefore all your criticisms are invalid!

Take the previous redemption examples I brought up. Anakin had to choose between ol' Palps and his son, and Otto had to fight the AI. There were, you know, actual hurdles to overcome in these moments.

And here's another thing. Notice how Anakin brought down the Empire he had helped found, and Otto dismantled the fusion reactor he had built? They were atoning for actions they had directly taken, a sort of 1:1 "I did this bad thing, now I'll fix it" scenario. Freedom, though? She shows how to destroy the othermind, even though the othermind's establishment wasn't her fault; it was all Cottonmouth, that dastardly, evil, mustache-twirling goateed villain. She's atoning for something she didn't do! Tui was so desperate to show how amazing and innocent her super speshul babey was that she forgot to give her something to atone for, and the atonement process is important in a redemption arc. Well, I guess her jerk behavior could be atoned for. That should've been what Freedom did.

You could argue that her atonement came in the form of her willingness to die to save the continent, and that’s a valid interpretation, but I personally think death isn’t as big of a deal for immortals compared to regular mortal people, because they’ve been around for so long and suffered so much that they usually see death as a kind of reprieve; in fact, I'm pretty sure Freedom hated Cottonmouth and wanted to get away from him as fast as possible, and was tired of her life. And I’m usually lenient toward the “redemption equals death” trope, because I see death as the ultimate atonement of sorts, but only for people who are actually scared of death and see it as a bad thing, especially so if resurrection or a fakeout death isn’t a viable option. Not to mention that a bad immortal did a lot more bad things than a bad mortal by sheer virtue of being around for way longer. But I digress.

And here’s another thing. A lot in a story hinges on whether we care about a character or not, one of which is whether we care about their journey and personal growth through the story. We are given zero reasons to care about Freedom, and thus zero reason why we should care about whether she’s redeemed or not. Sure, she has a sob story, but her personality is so loathsome that, by all accounts, everyone should hate her. Well, I certainly did, but Tui must’ve sacrificed her firstborn son to cast some sinister black magic spell that made most of fandom like Freedom or something. My point is, if a character already starts off horrible and unlikeable without any redeeming qualities, such as Freedom, then the author shouldn’t waste their time trying to “redeem” them, at risk of making the character seem like they were too easily forgiven or they got off too lightly for their crimes or the like. In fact, this is exactly how I think of Freedom, if my earlier thoughts were any indication.

Okay, back to the story. Freedom tells Luna how to kill the othermind, though it’ll get rid of her and Cottonmouth as well. Somehow Luna manages to escape the mindspace and wiggle toward where the plant is connected to the husks, intending to sever the connection.

Meanwhile, Cottonmouth has used a bunch of dragons to attack the team, intending to inject them full of breath of evil using a dragon named Carabid. He talks about this fight like he’s a sports commentator or something, except it isn’t any fun because we can’t even see the game—I mean fight.

So while the main action is somewhere else, Luna decides to sever the vine from the husks with a strand of silk. So to defeat the big bad, the protagonist has to do essentially some garden trimming.

This… is such a pitiful anticlimax that it puts the other anticlimaxes in this series to shame. I shouldn’t have to explain why this is bad. Shouldn’t there at least have been a large battle between the team and a mind-controlled army, or a confrontation with Wasp, or at least one explosion? Haha, no. Instead the protagonist spends half the book not doing anything except passively watch stuff happen, and in the end it’s Freedom who tells Luna how to defeat the othermind. We can’t have the book be interesting or even at least follow basic narrative structure like having a decent climax! That might lead to people actually liking the book!

Luna tries to sever the connection between Cottonmouth and Freedom because she doesn’t want Freedom to die, and I actually expected Tui here to have her cake and eat it too. I wouldn’t have put it past her. Surprisingly, though, Freedom actually has to die, because… something about how the breath of evil is semi-sentient or whatever.

So if the plant is semi-sentient and Cottonmouth was keeping it at bay, then wouldn’t getting rid of Freedom just make the plant problem worse? Or is it only semi-sentient when it’s connected to a mind? How does that work? Even without a mind making the plant semi-sentient, then isn’t it still a parasitic mind-affecting plant, as shown in the flashbacks? Why does getting rid of Freedom fix the problem? How does this make any sense?

But then, it means Freedom dies, so I’m not complaining much.

However, since *checks notes* Dusky has skewed priorities and wants to give this dragonet a name instead of, you know, saving the world before something bad happens, everyone’s all, “Oh, you sad poor babey, you need a name other than Lizard!” And she picks… Freedom.

Why, out of all things, did Tui have to pick a word so closely associated with ‘MURICA!? Because Tui loves ‘MURICA! and wants everyone to know it. It’s not like a childish yet cute name like Destroyer would’ve been good. Nope. Had to be a word that was associated with ‘MURICA! Tui wants to proclaim her ‘MURICAN! patriotism to everyone who might listen; it’s not like this is distracting and puts off all non-Americans and a lot of Americans reading this story.

Someone argued that Freedom picked this word because she was now free from Cottonmouth and the breath of evil. Fair point, but why didn’t Tui pick one of the numerous synonyms of the word “freedom” that doesn’t remind the reader of ‘MURICA!? You know, such as independence, liberation, or amnesty? Because, again, ‘MURICA! IS! THE BEST! AND TUI WANTS YOU TO KNOW IT!

And then Freedom dies and it’s supposed to be sad, but I didn’t feel a thing except relief this book was nearly over. Gasp! I’m such a heartless monster!

And now for the ending. There are so many problems with it I don’t even know where to start. Warning, it might get a bit racy here.

So first, Wasp and her sisters are dealt with offscreen while Luna makes out with Swordtail. What. The. Ffffffffudge. Why why why why why is the bad guy we're first introduced to in this arc and made to be a big deal in the books handled by Sundew offscreen, instead of by the actual protagonist? You know what, I already talked about this when Pineapple defeated Wasp, so I'm not going to repeat myself. You know how bad for the story this is.

For contrast, I'd like to add that Brandon Sanderson's decoy antagonists, despite not being the big bad, aren't tossed aside like garbage after the true villain reveal. They still have a large impact on the story as a whole and are dealt with accordingly. I'd list examples, but Brandon Sanderson isn't well known in the Wings of Fire fandom, probably because he mainly writes adult fantasy, and I don't want to spoil. (6)

In addition, we're told that all Wasp's sisters except Jewel were locked up in the flamesilk cavern. We were given some lip service to Bloodworm's cruelty, sure, but what about the other sisters? We're never told, much less shown, why these other sisters are terrible. We're just given Tui's word for it. I would've appreciated at least a comment or two about what the other sisters did to warrant a punishment as bad as the one given to Wasp and Bloodworm.

Anyways, in the epilogue we see a bunch of Pyrrhians coming to Pantala. Uh, why are they coming here other than because the author wanted a nice visual image? Are the Pyrrhians coming because they intend to move here? I mean, from what I've seen throughout the series the Pyrrhians in Possibility and the like live pretty cushy lives, and as for places like the Scorpion Den, if the way Tui thinks about queens is any indication, such places will probably be improved in the near future. So why would Pyrrhians risk their prosperity and happiness to move to a continent they had never seen before? I mean, unless everyone was told that Pantala was like 'Murica, aka the land of opportunity, then it could've made sense, but we never see that. It's just, "Oh, a bunch of Pyrrhians are here now and Luna is making a tapestry, hooray!"

Or maybe they're just tourists and I'm overthinking this, but you probably came here to see me overthink things anyway.

Sundew's replanting trees on Pantala, meanwhile, using… Pyrrhian trees. Okay, no. Just no. Those trees will either die because the soil composition, climate, etc is different, or those trees will become invasive and harm the growth of native trees by way of stealing resources. The Pyrrhian trees will be bad for the Pantalan wildlife, too: they may have defense mechanisms such as poisonous leaves or thorns that Pantalan animals just aren't accustomed to. All in all, terrible idea. There is a reason why trees planted in, say, the Northwest Coast are native to the region. And since according to this very same book, non-jungle trees are still present on this continent, maybe use the seeds from those? And even if there weren't, Cricket literally found a tree seed on a field trip. Those things are probably everywhere. Why use invasive species? Just… why?

Short tangent: Cricket's tree turns out to be from the fig family, even though when we were first shown the sapling, it was a conifer. But I digress.

Luna has the wonderful idea of splitting the SilkWings, HiveWings, and LeafWings into two separate nations, with the SilkWings and LeafWings living in some kind of forest paradise called the LeafSilk Kingdom; the SilkWings, LeafWings, and three good HiveWings in the entire tribe are going to live there. Putting aside the fact that Luna could have, you know, called it anything, this is a terrible, terrible idea. Splitting up the historical oppressors and oppressed isn't going to make things better, it'll just make them worse, because now interactions between the groups will be more limited, allowing more ignorance, and more hatred, to fester. And what about things like the fact that SilkWings made up, like, half the HiveWing empire's work force? I'm not saying that SilkWings should stay at their menial jobs, mind you, although they need a pay raise at the very least. What I'm saying is that the HiveWing economy will collapse if the SilkWings move to a separate country. But who cares! The HiveWings are the bad guys, so we don't care about their livelihoods.

Also, the HiveWing kingdom and the LeafSilk kingdom will fall into a cycle of warming relations and a violent war. How do I know? Search up India-Pakistan relations. It isn't a perfect 1:1 comparison, but they both involve ethnic groups that hate each other moving to different countries. And you can't say that the HiveWings and LeafSilk kingdom will never have a disputed territory. Luna and friends are carving out a whole new country from an old one, there's bound to be a border dispute.

The HiveWings, meanwhile, get a new queen! It's Jewel. You know, the dragon who literally has objectified SilkWings in her Hive? The one who throws parties all night instead of taking care of her Hive and probably has terrible crime rates as a result? Yeah, she'll make a good queen, all right. At least they don't call her "Jewel the Illiterate" or something because they think she can't read.

We're also told that some HiveWings want Wasp back, mind control and all. Gasp! This is obviously Tui trying to make a statement on white privilege (note to self: make a post talking about why the racism metaphors in Wings of Fire are… bad), but let's put that aside for a moment and look at it from the HiveWings' perspective.

For your entire life, you've been told that LeafWings are terrorists that need to be stopped. You think it's all propaganda and LeafWings are actually extinct, but around this time, a bunch of rebels steal the sacred text of your religion. Wouldn't that be scary? You don't even know why they stole it; for all you know they plan to burn it. Oh, and then it turns out that LeafWings are still alive, and they burn down an entire Hive. Maybe you were from that Hive and barely escaped with your life, losing all your belongings, or maybe you had a friend or loved one who barely escaped or died, or maybe you keep hearing about all the horrible eyewitness accounts of the stampeding panic and thick, choking smoke and the flames as they crept closer and closer.

As retaliation, Wasp gets everyone and sends them to attack the LeafWings and wipe them out once and for all in a decisive strike. You think this is justified, of course; they hurt the country, and you want them to get what they deserve. There's maybe a battle and it's confusing, but Wasp seems to think she's won, and everything kind of goes back to normal.

And then a bunch of strange dragons, from tribes you have never seen before, show up out of nowhere and throw Wasp and most of her sisters into prison. They get all the SilkWings to live under a separate government, the LeafWing terrorists return to your country's lands, the lands which Wasp pushed them out of, and now Jewel, whom you've always viewed as the most incompetent of the sisters due to her constant throwing of parties and neglect of crime rates in her Hive, is queen now. And those new dragons? Well, even more of them are coming to your country now. Maybe they're tourists, but maybe they're here to take over your country and subdue you. For all you know, these new dragons collaborated with the LeafWing terrorists and SilkWing traitors to take down your queen, and they probably did, in fact! Maybe they want to carve up your country and take the pieces for themselves! You don't know!

What I'm saying is that I'm surprised there aren't any HiveWing rebellions or resistance or separatist movements. Oh, and the "good guys" automatically dismiss these HiveWings as "evil," because this is a message about white privilege or something. Why do authors keep putting bad racism allegories into their fantasy books? Please stop. Just… stop.

So there's all this, not to mention all the things that weren't wrapped up and were seemingly forgotten by Tui. What happened to the flamesilks? Were they freed? I'd assume so, but we're never told what happened to them. How are they doing in actual society? Did Blue make amends with Admiral? What about the underlying and systemic oppression of SilkWings? Is anyone working to dismantle the system while the brand new separate kingdom is being planned? How did the HiveWings react to the arrival of Pyrrhians? Do they see Moonwatcher as the reincarnation of Clearsight? What about the fact that HiveWings learned that everything they were ever taught is propaganda? How are they dealing with the LeafWings returning? Speaking of LeafWings, did the PoisonWings and SapWings ever reconcile? What about the Pantalan refugees who moved to Pyrrhia? How many of them came back, and how many chose to stay and why? How are the queens handling the new scavenger law? Is anyone actually following it? How is Snowfall handling the IceWing nobility now that she destroyed the most important aspect of their culture and traditions? What happened to Pineapple, Bullfrog, and the other Pyrrhians? Did they go back to their continent, or are they staying to help run things in Pantala? Oh, and why is the burning of Bloodworm Hive still not brought up?

Absolutely none of these questions are answered, because the book was rushed and was probably only half done when Scholastic published it.

And now, let’s talk themes. They’re not as important to me as plot and character, but they encompass the overall work, so I’ll talk about them here.

Tui has gone on record saying that the theme of the third arc is empathy vs resistance. To quote an interview, "Arc 3 is about empathy and resistance - Tui wants her dragons to get along and understand each other, but at the same time there’s a point where you have to stop trying to understand the bad guys and just stop them."

It's a nice theme that allows for some nuance, although I would've preferred more of a gray area. This is clearly the theme, the central message, of the story in the first two books in the arc: how far should you go when fighting a dictatorship? Should we reach out to the citizens or attack them? Accomplish goals or empathize?

But then the thirteenth book rolls around, and the bad guy is revealed to be a sentient plant this entire time! And if you inhale its smoke, you'll get mind controlled!

Okay. The breath of evil is weed. We get it, Tui, don't do drugs. That's the theme now. Don't do drugs.

But then we get to this book and we learn that the sentient plant is actually a scavenger, and that scavenger stole a dragon egg once? Is the theme of the story now "don't steal dragon eggs?"

And thus, the original theme is discarded in favor of drugs, which is discarded in favor of… this. I mean, what? I am so confused. Where did the empathy and resistance stuff go?

Oh, and the title of the book makes zero sense. Tui was probably mandated by Scholastic to put the word “hope” in the title, but at this point this is just extreme nitpicking, so I'll stop.

All in all, this book was a complete dumpster fire. It is terrible and I will never reread it, even if I'm offered a million dollars to do so. Okay, then maybe if I’m desperate, but otherwise, no. This was Tui’s worst Wings of Fire book, and she should admit to mistakes made and learn to improve her writing in the future.

Unfortunately, Tui actively avoids criticism of her books. I understand that criticism can hurt an author’s feelings, but many authors have coping mechanisms to deal with this—Brandon Sanderson, for instance, reads one-star reviews of Terry Pratchett books, since Pratchett’s his favorite author, to remind himself that there will invariably be people who dislike even the best authors. One suggestion I have for Tui would be for her to request her friends or family members to read negative reviews of her books and summarize them to her; this would minimize exposure and reduce the sting of the reviews.

However, since Tui avoids criticism, she can’t learn to improve her writing. She continues to make the same mistakes: clumsily written characters, telling instead of showing, flailing around with the plot, prioritizing characters she likes over telling a good story. In fact, the second half of the third arc seems to be her worst work: the characters are bland or straight-up unlikeable, she tries too hard to please the fans and sacrifices story as a result, the pacing is a mess, there are too many poorly handled plot twists, and the anticlimax is worse than in the previous arcs.

And here’s what I’ve concluded from all this: Tui is tired of writing Wings of Fire.

She’s been writing the series for about a decade now. That is a long time to be writing a single book series without any breaks, and her writing quality near the end has taken a turn for the worse. She’s clearly rushing the books, trying to finish the series so she can move on to other projects.

And I get it. Writing is hard, and writing something for long periods of time even more so. Tui needs to stop writing the series, even if the fans won’t like it, even if Scholastic won’t like it. She needs to stop, get away from the laptop, and book a trip to the Bahamas or something. Her mental health probably isn’t the best for the aforementioned reasons above, not to mention the death of her pet and longtime companion Sunshine, which occurred while she was writing TDG.

Tui, I know it’s unlikely that you’ll ever see this. You actively avoid social media and actively avoid fan reviews. However, if you do read these words, I’ll drop the sarcasm and directly tell you this:

If you need a break, take it. If writing has become tiring for you, stop for a while and work on something else. Learn a new hobby. Dust off an old hobby. Find a TV series to watch. Go for a walk. Find a therapist if you’re still struggling over Sunshine’s death. Wings of Fire isn’t the totality of your existence, and don’t let it be.

Sincerely, a fan,

Truthseeker

(1) My brother likes to use a hook in the Warrior Cats book Fire and Ice as a prime example of a bad cliffhanger: “These half-starved WindClan cats were ready to attack.” Turn the page. “Fireheart realized they would follow the warrior code and wouldn’t attack.”

(2) I would use the term Villain Sue here, but the term Mary Sue and its constituents have been so overused that they’ve lost their meaning at this point.

(3) It doesn’t help that Freedom is mollycoddled by the fandom, and I seem to be the one of five people on the planet who don’t like her. And to me, there are few things more annoying than a character I dislike being widely liked by the fandom for some inexplicable reason. To me, it seems that Freedom is widely liked despite her jerk tendencies and authorial bias toward her due to her backstory and status as a dragonet. If you like her and want to tell me why, feel free to elaborate; I’d genuinely like to know why people like her so much.

(4) At this point I checked the wiki to clarify some points, and according to the wiki, Freedom has a high, clear voice. In other words, she sounds like Tui! Jeez, no wonder Tui loves her so much.

(5) Pretty much the only circumstance where I will accept character development occurring over a period of time less than a week is if it occurred in a film, simply due to medium restrictions—plot events in a film can only occur over a short period of time, so by necessity things like character development need to be speedrun. A novel, though, can take its time.

(6) I'd suggest reading Brandon Sanderson's books yourself if you want to know more, although you should be reading them anyway. They're that good. Don't worry, they're clean but it's adult fantasy so expect a lot of potentially triggering content. Brandon also has a few YA and middle grade books if that's your cup of tea; they tend to be less existentially heavy, with less potential triggers as well.

#wings of fire #the flames of hope #wof luna #wof wasp #wof pineapple #wof cottonmouth #wof freedom #wof jewel #truthseeker thoughts

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jawabear · 4 years ago

Text

Din Djarin NSFW Alphabet

Not my GIF

A/N: Thank you for all the support on my last fic! it really didn’t deserve all those notes though.. But nonetheless, here is my NSFW alphabet for everyone's favourite Mandalorian (okay, maybe not everyone, but certainly mine). As with my other ones, my ideas and opinions may differ to yours and others so please be respectful of mine and others’ views of different characters. Enjoy. Sorry for any mistakes. Stay safe.

Genre: smut

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of sexual activities, no actual sex though, Pedro Pascal comes with his own warning

Summary: An A-Z of Din Djarin’s bedroom antics...

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Din is a little awkward to begin with. He doesn’t really know what to do after sex. It’s usually you who ends up taking care of him after sex. But as time goes on and you end up having sex more often, he gets a little more comfortable.

And from this he will make sure you’re okay, not hurt or anything. He will ask if you need anything, if you’re thirsty or hungry. And then he will hold you until you fall asleep because he’s cute like that.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On him, he’s not really bothered. He hadn’t every really thought about himself in that regard. And plus being covered in armour doesn’t really aid him in his decision making. But if he had to choose, he’d probably say his hands. They’re useful for many things. Fighting, shooting, fixing, flying and fingering...

On you, because he’s a soft little boy, he’d go with your eyes. He is a strong believer in the concept of the eyes being the window to the soul. And with you that is very much the case. He loves to look into your eyes, he’ll get lost in them in seconds. But more sexual the loves your legs. Especially your thighs. He loves to stroke them and squeeze them. And he loves when they press against his head as he eats you out....

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

When he does come it’s quite an overwhelming amount to be honest. He doesn’t really like to come inside you (unless you specifically say) because there is a lot and always the chance of pregnancy and neither he nor you feel ready for that. Plus he feels like he’s dirtying you and he doesn’t want to ruin your perfect body.

But, he will do what you say. So, if you want him to come inside you, over you, whatever, he will.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Saying that though ^^ It’s fair to say that Din has a slight breeding kink. Slight being huge. It more to do with the fact that he does what to have a child with you. But also he would find it hot to fill you up completely.

He obviously hasn’t said anything but it’s hard to keep his thoughts at bay when you’re begging him to come inside you and you’re wrapping you legs around his waist to pull him closer to you...

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Din isn’t all that experience. He’s never really cared much about sex before he met you. He had done it once or twice in his life but he didn’t really care much for it, he didn’t really have the time. He was far to preoccupied with his bounty hunting work to find a suitable partner. So it was kind of down to you to teach him. But you didn’t really mind.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He loves the classic missionary position. It’s easy and enjoyable.

But he is also a huge fan of you being on top, riding him. He loves to have you take control. And it gives him a better opportunity to feel your body.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Certainly more serious. I don’t think Din is a very jokey person in or out of the bedroom. Sometimes you will try and make it a bit lighter but it doesn’t really work. Not that that’s a problem...

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Being covered head to toe in armour means that Din doesn’t really need to bother with his appearance both upstairs and down. So he’s not particularly tidy. But as you haven’t voice any complaints (quite the opposite actually) he hasn’t bothered to tidy himself up down there.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Din goes full romantic in bed. He will touch and feel every part of your body. He will caress and kiss every inch of your skin. He will make love to you. Because he has someone who loves him.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Personally, I don’t think he gets the same satisfaction from touching himself then he would from fucking you.

There are a few occasions in which he has got himself off to the thought of you. But I think he would only do it as a last resort.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He had a hidden (but massive) breeding kink as mentioned.

I don’t know if the blindfold thing really counts as one because he does it so you can’t see his face while he fucks you but if it counts then this is a big one.

Also biting. Din is quite possessive and wants to mark you as much as he possibly can so that everyone know you belong to the Mandalorian. Plus it helps in muffling his moans, one) so he can hear yours better, and 2) he gets a little shy and embarrassed at hearing his own...

Does dry-humping count? Because that too. A big one. Just something about it really gets him going, plus it saves him having to faff with getting all his armour off.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Inside somewhere he knows and trusts. So mainly his ship, in his bed.

Although, there is the rare occasion he will take you in the cockpit. He will sit in the pilots chair and you will ride him. That’s about the only other exception to his bed.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

To be honest, I think it would take quite a lot to get Din going. Being a little sexually naive, I think you’d have to really go out of your way to turn him on. Meaning therefore that it is mostly you who initiates sex.

But there is the odd occasion that he will suddenly be in the mood for it. And then he doesn’t really hold back...

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

I don’t think there’s a lot that he would do. At least in the early stages. He very much stuck to the basics because he found it enjoyable and he didn’t really need anything else. But when you started...let’s just say you were getting a little bored, you tried to coax him into branching out in his sexual preferences.

He would never hurt you. That was for certain. He doesn’t find tying you up to be all that appealing either, but if you really wanted him to do it he wouldn’t say no, he just perhaps wouldn’t enjoy it as much. He relates it too much to bounty hunting and he doesn’t think that’s a good mix, but you disagree.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He definitely prefers giving. Out of everything he’s done to you sexual, eating you out and fingering you has to be what he’s best at. Especially oral.

But he wouldn’t ever say no if you wanted to suck him off...in his pilots chair... because no one in their right mind would turn it down.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It really depends on his mood. Although, saying that, he doesn’t often take his bad mood out on you. It’s on those days (where a bounty has been particularly hard or frustrating) that he will be the one to initiate sex. And you certainly don’t complain. And it is also on those days where he is a little more rough and fast.

But most of the time he likes to take it slow. It is something he enjoys and something he wants to take his time in doing.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He isn’t a fan. He doesn’t find them enjoyable as much as he would taking his time.

They have happens a few times, but by accident. As in you were taking it slow but something would come up, beeping and blaring of alarms would start and he would have to go quick to finish because he didn’t want to just stop.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He probably would be once you both started to get a bit more comfortable and adventurous. It’s still a learning process for Din so it’s a gradual thing but he’s all about making you happy and fulfilled so he will try most things you suggest whether they be risky or not.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Din is a tiered man. Let him rest. Chances are he can really only go one round, but he knows this and makes it the best damn round you’ve ever had.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He certainly does not use them. (He probably doesn’t even know about a lot of them).

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He kind of is a tease but he kind of isn’t. It depends on the mood. It’s he is going fast then he’s more likely to tease to rile you up more, but more often then not he just lets things happen in the bedroom.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Din isn’t much of a talker. He’s very much the silent but deadly type and he’s mostly the same in bed too. He isn’t partially loud, but he’s also not particularly quiet either. He isn’t a constant moaner, but lets just say it’s very easy for you to know when you’re doing something right and making him feel good. Then he will be a bit louder.

But he gets a bit embarrassed at the noises and buries his head in your neck to silence himself despite you telling him you want to hear him.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He really really really wants to watch you get off. He’s heard you do it (not that you know that) and you sounded to be really enjoying yourself so he wants to watch you. And maybe learn a thing or two about how to properly touch you.

But yes, he really desperately wants to watch you touch yourself, maybe he’d touch himself too...

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I don’t think it’s a secret that he packing. He tries to act all cool about it saying things like “I’m not that big, am I?” But we all know he’s full of shit. He knows he’s that big. But to be fair, he hasn’t ever seen any other one so he doesn’t really have anything to compare it too.

But we all know that man is huge...

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s surprisingly low. Again, it depends on his mood or the day. He isn’t constantly in the mood for sex. Which he guessed made it more enjoyable.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Din finds it difficult to sleep for many reasons. But sex always seems to relax him enough he falls asleep almost instantly. Of course, after making sure you’re okay.

Which is why you will often fuck him after a long day just so he will sleep.

13/12/20

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfiction #star wars #smut #pedro pascal #fanfic

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wiypt-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Riding On

Ch21: Her Hooves Set The Beat, My Heart Sang The Song

Summary: There’s a feel good factor at the Gallagher-Adler’s as Alex hits another milestone, but their happy little bubble his shattered with some bad news at the stables, and Fliss is forced to say a heart-breaking goodbye…

Warnings: Bad language, 18+, animal death.

Pairing: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: So, for those of you who don’t know, Heidi was actually real. She was my beloved horse of a lifetime who I lost in July 2018 to complications associated with old age. At 28 I she had a good life, and for the 20 years I had her she gave me everything. Writing this brought back a lot of memories and was quite therapeutic in a way, but if anyone wants to skip over it for fear of being triggered, I won’t be offended.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding On Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 20

April 2020

“Go away!” Mary laughed, pushing Fliss’ arm as she tried to peek over at what she was writing on the piece of card upon which she’d been designing the Wedding Invitations. “You can see when I’m done!”

Fliss chuckled and backed away, hands raised, palms up.

“Okay, okay.” She walked backwards a few steps before she turned and her eyes fell on Alex who was in his pack and play loudly banging some coloured blocks together. He looked up at her and gave a huge smile before he shuffled a little to the edge of his pen and reached up, curling his hands onto the sides. As Fliss watched, he tried to pull himself up into a standing position but only got so far before he landed on his butt, and waved his arms and legs shouting something in, what Frank called Bean-Babble. Fliss grinned and moved to pick him up.

“Not quite mastered that yet have you, baby?” She smiled, kissing his cheek.

Alex let out another loud squeal of contentment as he perched on her hip and she made her way over to the kitchen area. There, she settled him in his high chair and headed into the fridge to grab him an apple. Since he had started eating solids it had fast become apparent that he was particularly partial to the fruit, something Frank directly attributed to the fact that Fliss had eaten so many of them when she was pregnant thanks to her craving. Fliss carefully chopped the fruit into large pieces before she placed them down on the tray of his chair, kissing his soft hair again as Alex grabbed a slice in his hand and promptly jabbed it in his mouth, making appreciative noises.

Happy that he was content, Fliss then turned her attention to their dinner. She soon had the base of the cream and garlic sauce for the seafood linguini simmering nicely in the pan so she then turned her attention to shelling and de-veining the fresh, king prawns Frank had brought home the night before, along with chopping up the squid and cleaning the mussels before she turned her head and looked over to the table across the large family room.

“Mary, do you want mussels in yours?”

“No, they taste like snot.” Came the simple response.

“You know what snot tastes like?” Fliss pulled a face. “Gross.”

Mary didn’t reply, her hand was busy scribbling on the paper. Fliss shrugged and placed some of the sauce into a separate pan before she dropped some of the seafood through to cook, before pulling a cod and mash potato puree out for Alex for his dinner. Whilst that was in the microwave, she tossed Mary’s sauce through some of the pasta, before sprinkling over a little bit of parmesan and setting it down on the breakfast bar.

“Mary, dinner.”

Mary hopped down from the table and made her way over to the counter. With a thanks to Fliss she tucked in as Fliss smiled and sat next to her, feeding Alex.

“What time is Dad home?” Mary asked.

“I’m actually expecting him any time now.” Fliss glanced at the clock. “He has no meetings tonight so he shouldn’t be too long. Did you want him for something? I can call him.”

“No, I was just curious.” Mary swallowed her mouthful of food. “Do you mind if I don’t ride tonight?”

“No, of course not.” Fliss gave Alex another spoonful of his dinner before she turned to Mary. “Is everything ok, Stack? It’s not like you to pass up an opportunity to ride.”

“Well, I thought I could spend some time with Frank.” She shrugged. “I haven’t seen him properly this week.”

“I’m sure he’d appreciate that.” Fliss smiled, giving Alex more food.

“Just figured if you’re at the stables and Alex is in bed, it’ll just be the two of us. No offense.”

“None taken.” Fliss chuckled, as Mary grinned and continued to eat. And she meant it. Over the past two weeks or so, Frank and Alan’s son had decided to expand a little and as such had been meeting with potential new suppliers, often working until later in the night, something Fliss knew was hard on him because it meant his time with the kids had really been limited to a quick hour over breakfast, the morning school and crèche drop offs and weekends. Fliss had assured him that the kids were fine, she was fine, and reminded him that he was doing this for the family, for their future but it didn’t stop him feeling guilty.

It was kind of ironic, when she thought about it. As she’d been expecting to feel the same guilt after going back to work full time but as she was self-employed, she’d been able to work her time-table quite well around the kids. She’d taken on another stable hand to help with the day to day chores leaving her free to teach more freelance in the area and school horses when they came to her for training. Joanne was now taking the group lessons completely, having passed her final teaching exams earlier that year, and Alex had settled really well into his day care, going two days a week to the centre round the corner from Mary’s school which had come recommended by Bonnie’s sister. The other two days a week Verity (and nine times outta ten Bill) came look after him or take him out, meaning on those days Fliss worked later- scheduling in evening lessons for clients as Verity would sort the kids dinner before Frank got home, and then on Friday, Fliss did her paperwork so Alex stayed with her . It was busy, and often required military planning as to who was picking which child up and when, but they worked it well, and Fliss had been very surprised at how easily they had picked it all up.

They continued chatting, and just as Mary had polished off her desert, Thor gave a little woof and padded to the back door as it opened and they heard Frank giving his usual jokey greeting.

“The boss is home.”

“Yeah I know, she made dinner.” Mary shot back and Fliss laughed, giving her a hi-five.

Frank walked into the main room and smiled at them both, giving Fliss a quick kiss before he ruffled Mary’s hair as she shoved him away, rolling her eyes, jumping off the stool to escape him.

“Good day?” He asked, and Fliss nodded.

“Yeah, not bad. You?”

“Busy, but productive. We got the final Price Lists negotiated so…” he trailed off, nodding to Alex who was smiling at him. “Looks like he enjoyed dinner.”

“So did Mary.” Fliss mused, nodding to the empty place on the side. “She ate a full dish of linguini and a massive piece of Mum’s chocolate cake. Think she’s going through another growth spurt.”

“Great, more clothes to buy.”

Fliss chuckled as she fed Alex the last of his peach and apple puree before she reached for a baby wipe and scrubbed his face and hands clean, much to the baby’s annoyance. She stood up to clear away his dish, leaving the spoon in Alex’s hand as he was busy banging it against the tray of his chair. Frank sat down on the stool she’d vacated, kissing Alex’s head. .

“Hey, Pal. Meet any hot girls today at crèche?” He asked. Alex shrieked in response, banging the spoon harder and Frank nodded. “Oh really? Well, you play it cool and she’ll be putty in your hands.”

“Like I was in yours?” Fliss asked, turning to face him and Frank grinned as he settled on the stool.

“Think we both know it was the other way round.”

“Don’t you forget it.” She smirked a little.

“Like I’d have a chance.” Frank winked at her and Fliss smiled.

“Do you want your dinner now or-“

“Oh, can I show you the invitation first?” Mary suddenly piped up from across the room and Fliss nodded.

“Sure.”

She jumped off the table at the chair and approached them, placing the card on the breakfast bar in front of Frank. Fliss stood behind Frank, her hands sliding round his shoulders as she kissed his cheek, both of them glancing down at the design Mary had come up with.

The front was a simple square piece of card. Across the top Mary had cut letters out of a magazine to spell out the words “WE’RE GETTING MARRIED” and underneath it she’d stuck a copy of a photo of the four of them which had clearly been taken at Bill and Verity’s a few weeks ago. Mary and Alex were both looking at the camera, whereas Frank and Fliss were both laughing as they looked at each other as Frank held Alex, the baby’s back to his chest, supporting under his butt with one arm, the other held across his front.

“Where did you get that?” Frank asked, grinning as he looked at it.

“Poppa Bill.” Mary looked at him. “He said it was like the five thousandth attempt at trying to get us all to look at the camera.”

“That was Frank’s fault.” Fliss laughed, “He kept nipping my ass.”

Frank shrugged, before Fliss spotted one of his arms snaking backwards, blatantly intending on doing the same and she slapped his hand, making him give a dirty chuckle as he pulled it away.

“Turn it over!” Mary urged. Frank obliged and they both smiled instantly at the back. It was written in Mary’s untidy writing, in bright multi-coloured felt tip.

“Oh Mary, this is just what I wanted!” Fliss grinned. “For it to look bright and unique.”

“You haven’t read it yet.” She looked up at Fliss rolling her eyes, but before she could comment Frank started to laugh as he had and his chuckles continued as Fliss read the words out-loud.

“Mary and Alex Adler would like to invite you to their Mom and Dad’s wedding.” Fliss took a deep breath at the word, looking at Mary who gave her a small smile. Whilst Mary had referred to Fliss when talking to other people as her mom, she’d never actually used the word directly to Fliss yet. But, now wasn’t the time to dig into that. Fliss cleared her throat and read on “Frank and Fliss met at the stables. Frank was smitten, Fliss was too. But they were too dumb to admit it straight away. And then Frank took her sailing (not driving) on a speedboat. They kissed, made a baby and now it’s time for a party. (And a wedding too).”

Fliss burst out laughing, as Frank tried to gain enough control to read the final bit at the bottom, which was situated underneath the details of time and venues, before it went on to state their address.

“RSVP to Mary (not Alex, because he can’t read!)” He managed to wheeze out, wiping at his eyes. “Oh, Stack, you’re killing me.”

“You like it?” She grinned and Frank nodded.

“Mary.” Fliss’ laughter died down as she took a deep breath. “It’s absolutely perfect!”

Once they had finished laughing at Mary’s Invitation Prototype, Fliss and Frank ate dinner together, Mary chatting away to the pair of them as she sat at the end of the breakfast bar, sipping a milkshake, informing them both about her day, before Frank took Alex to get him bathed and changed into his pyjamas.

“This bath is supposed to be for you.” Frank grumbled as Alex enthusiastically splashed at the water with his little hands, those little babbling noises emitting from his mouth as he glanced up at Frank with his big blue eyes, making another sound that could almost have been interpreted as a question. Which, maybe it was. “You heard me.” Frank looked at him. Alex studied his dad for a second before continuing with his splashing, laughing loudly as he tossed a plastic boat to the end of the tub before he stretched towards it, then realising he couldn’t reach the toy, promptly burst into tears.

“Seriously, Pal?” Frank rolled his eyes, stretching his right hand over to retrieve the precious item. As soon as he passed it back, the over the top tears stopped and Frank raised an eyebrow. “If you wanted it so badly why did you throw it away in the first place?”

Alex responded with another noise, this one a gurgle and Frank nodded.

“Okay, understood.”

At that Alex looked at him, cocking his head to one side, making another puzzled noise and tossed the boat this time over the side of the bath, a grin spreading across his face as he studied his dad. Frank arched an eyebrow. “You know, just because I love you doesn’t mean I sign up for this whole throw and fetch shit you got going on.” He picked up the toy and tossed it back into the water. “That’s Thor’s job.”

“You know, if his first word comes out a swear, you’re in deep trouble.” Fliss arched an eyebrow as Frank turned his head over his shoulder to look at her as she stood in the bathroom doorway. At the sight of his Mumma, Alex gave a huge grin and let out another gabble of noises.

“There are worst things it could be.” Frank shrugged, looking back at him.

“Like what?”

“Trump.” Frank deadpanned and Fliss let out a chuckle as once more the plastic boat came out of the tub onto the floor.

“Right, I think play-time is done pal.” Frank looked at Alex, who glanced up at him as he made sure to keep one hand behind his son’s back whilst reaching for his little hooded towel, which was patterned with tiny little ducks. “Come on.” No sooner had he lifted Alex out of the tub, the eight month old started to protest, dramatically, screams once more hitting Frank’s ears. “Oh, hush…” Frank chuckled as he lay him down on the towel before wrapping him in it and picking him up, rising to a stand and gently jiggling the now hysterical baby up and down.

“Anyone would think we’re tryin’a kill him, not simply dry him off after he’s spent fifteen minutes in the bath.” Frank rolled his eyes, an amused expression on his face at Alex’s dramatics.

“Well, he’s a right little water baby, aint you Bean?” Fliss leaned over to kiss Alex’s head as his cries suddenly died down as he had become instantly distracted with the buttons on Frank’s shirt. He made a little “oooh” of approval, his tiny fingers reaching to the ones near the collar. “Ha, look at that, he’s easily distracted, just like his daddy.”

“Yeah, well, I won’t deny, I quite like undoing your buttons.” Frank teased, dropping a kiss to her mouth. “Shall I dress him or do you wanna do it?”

Fliss took a deep breath, of course she wanted to dress him, she wanted to do everything for her baby, but she also knew that Frank had been out of the house early every morning and this was the first evening since Monday he’d made it home before bath time. With a smile she shook her head. “It's okay, you can do it. I’ll clean up in here.”

“Leave it, I’ll do it later.”

“It won’t take me five minutes. Then once I’m done and he’s settled, I’ll head over to the yard so I can ride and finish off. I won’t be too long, just an hour or so.”

“Then we got some us time?” Frank asked, almost pleaded and she smiled.

“Then we got some us time.”

“Perfect.” Frank gave her a soft smile before he kissed her again and carried Alex into the nursery. Before long he’d managed to wrestle a very wriggly baby into a clean diaper, a fresh romper suit and headed downstairs. Mary was now sat on the couch, her eyes glued to something on the TV as Fliss was warming Alex’s bottle up.

“You going with Fliss, Stack?”

No answer. With a raised brow he turned to look at Fliss who was biting her lip, trying not to laugh as he switched his attention back to Mary.

“Earth to Mary.”

With a groan she looked at him. “What?”

“Less of the attitude.” Frank looked at her. “I asked if you were going to ride?”

“Oh, erm…” She hesitated and Fliss chuckled.

“She wants to stay here and spend some time with you.” She smiled as Frank looked at her, then to Mary.

“Wow, me over Monty, I’m flattered.” He smirked. Mary rolled her eyes.

“Don’t get used to it, it’s only because I’ve not seen you properly this week to hang out.”

Frank snorted before he sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. It won’t be forever.”

“It’s fine.” Mary shrugged, her eyes back on the TV. “Not like I’m neglected, is it?”

“Good to know you feel that way.” Frank nodded seriously, before he caught Fliss’ eye and she gave him a wink.

He placed Alex down on the play mat in front of the TV and within seconds the baby had flipped himself over and pushed up onto his hands, rocking back a little onto his knees, emitting more excited noises.

“Mary, I’m just gonna grab a drink.” Frank looked at the Alex, before he turned to Mary. “Keep your eye on your brother will you?”

“Sure.” She shrugged, her attention now completely on the baby as she dropped onto the floor and shuffled over to him, talking to him as she did so.

Frank watched for a moment, giving a silent groan as Alex flopped gently down face first onto the mat.

“Oopsie!” Mary grinned, and Frank braced himself for the dramatic screams, but they never came as this time, Alex managed to right himself and roll back over onto his back, giving Mary an excited grin and a loud shriek as Mary waggled one of the toys from the baby gym over the top of him.

Satisfied they were okay, Frank headed into the kitchen where Fliss was busy finishing off the lunches for the next morning, dropping a kiss to her cheek as he reached into the fridge, grabbing a beer.

“You wanna do bedtime as you’ve not had chance this week?” Fliss asked, nodding to Alex’s bottle where it stood in the jug of boiling water.

“He’s my son, course I wanna.” Frank frowned as he looked at her, flipping the top off his beer. “You know, it’s not like I’ve been working late on purpose, Fliss.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Fliss narrowed her eyes at him as he took a long pull of his drink. “And you know it. So less of the shitty tone, thank you!”

“Sorry, Honey.” Frank sighed, dropping a kiss to her lips. “Just, well, I didn’t think Mary would have bothered as much as she had.”

“She’s fine.” Fliss shook her head. “And she isn’t bothered as such, she just wants to get you to herself for a little while. I mean, let’s face it, how often does she get chance to do that now?”

“True.” Frank nodded. “Maybe I should take her out on Saturday somewhere, just the two of us. Would you mind?”

“No, course not.” She shook her head. “I can take Alex down to the beach with Bonnie. You can always join us later on.”

“Yeah.” Frank nodded. “Sounds good.”

“And tonight, why don’t you spend a bit of time in the pool before she showers?” Fliss suggested, as she slid her hands up round his neck. “Then maybe when I get back, me and you could-“

But whatever filthy water-based shenanigans she was about to suggest, Frank never found out, as at that moment Mary let out a yell.

“Oh my God! Alex is crawling, quick!”

In a flash the parents rushed over to where Mary was sat at one side of the play-mat, waving Alex’s huge stuffed elephant at him, as he unsteadily made his way over to her, one hand and knee moving at a time.

“Frank, quick!” Fliss nudged him as she dropped to her knees behind Alex, her hands settling either side of his little body, getting ready to catch him if she needed to.

“I got it…” Frank muttered, as he crouched next to Mary, his phone out. “Alex, buddy, you reckon you can make it all this way to Daddy, huh?”

Another few little movements later, Fliss’ sharp eyes saw the baby’s arms beginning to wobble and, just as they gave way she grabbed him and pulled him backwards, swinging him up and pressing her to his chest, smothering his face in kisses.

“My clever little man!” She beamed as Alex laughed, grabbing at her hair as she kissed him. “Oh my baby, you’re getting so big!”

Alex clearly decided that his crawling efforts were done for the day as he made no attempt try again as Fliss held him in position on the mat. With a shrug, she gently placed him on his back where he began to grab once more at the toys hanging over him.

“Obviously had enough excitement for one night.” Frank chuckled as he reached over and tickled the baby’s belly, drawing a gaggle of laughter from him.

“I’m so glad we all got to see it.” Fliss beamed round at them both and Mary nodded enthusiastically. “Right…” She rose to her feet. “I’m going to go ride and finish off. I’ll be back in an hour, hour and a half.”

Once she was gone, Frank turned to Mary. “Fancy playing in the pool for a bit before bed?”

“Errr, yeah!”

“Okay, well give me half an hour or so to get him down and then we’ll head out. I wanna see if you can master a back flip this time instead of a front one.”

***** Alex went down, as usual, with minimum fuss and once Frank was happy he was settled he changed into his swim shorts and headed downstairs. Grabbing the baby monitor screen from the side in the kitchen, he and Mary headed out to the pool, Mary wasting no time in cannon-balling straight in. Not one to shy down from a challenge, when Mary told him to beat her splash, he did just that. The two of them enjoyed a fun filled forty minutes or so, racing one another (Frank let Mary win a few, but not all) play fighting, diving and generally larking around as the sun dipped behind the eye-line of the fence and the lights in the pool kicked in, reflecting against the bright blue tiles which lined it.

Frank climbed out of the pool to check the time on his phone, and realising it was now almost eight, he told Mary it was time to get out. She protested, but he shot her a no-nonsense stare and with a loud groan about how unfair life was, she climbed out and Frank wrapped her in a towel before giving her a drink of water and then packing her off upstairs for a shower, promising her she could read in bed before lights off at nine.

He showered himself, pulling on a pair of sweats and a well-worn light blue T-Shirt, and by the time he had finished and headed across the landing to tuck Mary in, she was already out for the count. With a smile, he placed her book down on her night stand, gently kissed her head and then flicked off the lamp before he moved to the next room to check on Alex. He was also fast asleep.

He headed back downstairs, grabbed another beer and settled in front of the TV, giving a snort as he glanced at the time. It was now ten past nine. So much for Fliss being just an hour. No doubt she’d ended up chatting to one of the clients about something, as usual, which had delayed her locking up. Firing her a good humoured, sarcastic text about how he should grow a mane, tail and two extra legs so he could get a look in, he tossed the phone down onto the coffee table, frowning as it instantly began to light up. It was Fliss.

“Hey, Honey, I was only joking, take as-“

“Frank, there’s something wrong with Heidi.” She cut him off, her voice cracking. “She’s got colic and it’s bad. I called the Vet and he’s on his way but she won’t get up. I can’t get her on her feet to try and walk her round she’s just…”

Frank took a deep breath, his stomach falling as he digested her words. He wasn’t clued up on a lot of horse lingo or issues, but he knew colic was fatal to some horses, depending on the severity. And even without the fact that Fliss was clearly concerned, he knew that with Heidi being as old as she was this wasn’t good.

“How long is the Vet going to be?” he asked.

“They said about half an hour, he’s on his way but as it’s night it’s an emergency call so he’s coming from home.” She took a deep breath. “Frank, I’m gonna lose her.”

“Look, you don’t know that for sure.” He placated her gently as he stood up from the sofa. “Listen, let me grab the kids and we’ll come over.”

“Frank, they’re sleeping.” She began to protest, “And Mary will be so upset to see Heidi like this, and if the vet has to put her to sleep then…”

“Then she’ll be mad as hell she didn’t get to say goodbye.” Frank reasoned as he made his way into the hallway. “I don’t want you over there on your own, sweetheart. Not if…”

There was a pause. “I don’t want to do it on my own either.” She whispered and he took a deep breath as he headed up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time.

“And you don’t hafta.” He replied. “Give me five minutes. Do you need anything else?”

“No, I got everything here.”

“Okay.” He nodded, pausing outside Mary’s bedroom. “We’ll be with you in five.”

She sniffed. “Thank you.”

Frank stuck his phone in the pocket of his sweats before he opened Mary’s door and headed over to her bed. Standing on the bottom rung of the ladder of the cabin he gently leaned over. She was led, facing away from him, face snuggled into her pillow as Fred lay by her side. He raised his head questioningly at Frank as he softly brushed Mary’s hair off her cheek, pressing a kiss to her face.

“Stack, hey…come on, wake up.” Mary gave a groan as she pulled her covers up further, her eyes still closed. Frank spoke a little louder, his hand softly shaking her shoulder. “Mary, sweetheart, I need you to wake up, come on.”

She stirred a little, before she rolled onto her back, blinking sleepily at him before she frowned.

“Frank, it’s still dark!” She glared at him and he bit back the smirk at the fact she’d reverted to Frank, not Dad. Something she always did when she felt he was being a jerk.

“I know you haven’t been asleep long, but Fliss is at the yard and we need to go be with her. Heidi isn’t well, the vet is on his way.”

At that she sat up, all tiredness evaporating from her system. “What’s wrong with her?”

“It’s colic, Sweetie.” Frank answered gently. “But Fliss is on her own, so I need you to get dressed whilst I grab Alex, okay?”

“Okay.” She nodded, and Frank smiled softly before he turned and headed over to the nursery which was quiet bar the soft sounds of Alex’s little baby snores. In the stream of light that illuminated the room from the landing, he could see his son sleeping, halfway down the crib, head tilted to the side, the pair of them meticulous in the way they set him down at night. He crossed the room and gently picked Alex up out of the crib, the baby giving a little sigh as he did so but other-wise remaining asleep. He grabbed a little fleece blanket and as he made his way back out into the hallway, Mary appeared in her jeans and a red t-shirt.

“Why don’t you bring your laptop or something, just in case we’re there for a while and you get bored?” Frank asked. “You can sit in the office with Alex.”

“It’s downstairs.” She answered. “I’ll go grab it.”

They headed down stairs and Frank settled Alex in his stroller which was by the kitchen door as Mary grabbed her stuff. Frank slipped his feet into his sneakers as Mary stuffed on her boots and he wandered into the laundry room and found a warm top for them each.

“Frank it’s like almost summer outside.” Mary looked at him, “It’s hot!”

“I’m well aware of the climate, thanks.” He looked at her, stashing the hooded tops and cardigan on the underneath space of the stroller, before he made sure that Alex’s little blanket was set around his legs. “But it might get a little breezy if we’re there later.”

Truth be told he had no idea why he was taking them, other than the fact it felt like something he should do even though it was still in the low 70s at night. He was a little lost, this was something he’d never dealt with before, and there was a sick feeling in his stomach that it wasn’t going to end well. But, there was no point worrying about it until they knew what they were dealing with. He had to be strong, be calm. Taking a deep breath he looked at Mary and nodded. “Get the door, Stack.”

By the time they had reached the Yard, Fliss had managed to coax Heidi to her feet. As Frank and Mary walked round the side of the barn Fliss was heading to the paddock, Heidi trudging behind her.

“Hey.” Frank looked at her, and she gave him a tight smile, not stopping.

“I’m sorry, but if I stop she’ll…” She began to explain but Frank waved her away.

“Do what you gotta do.” He watched as she cast a look over her shoulder. “I’ll settle these two in the office and then I’ll be out.”

After doing just that, instructing Mary to keep an eye on Alex and promising her he would come get her once they knew what was going on, he wandered back to the paddock and without a word simply took Fliss' hand in his as she continued walking Heidi. Frank could hear the horse was making grunting noises and every so often tried to stop and kick at her stomach, but Fliss kept walking, her face set. She didn’t say much, making a little small talk, but Frank simply stayed by her side as every so often they changed direction.

“Where the hell is this vet?” Fliss gave an exasperated sigh and looked around, almost as if she expected to see him.

“It’s not been that long yet, Sweetheart.” Frank soothed her.

“Well it feels like forever.”

Frank kissed her head as they continued walking and about five minutes later a dark blue Hyundai pulled up the drive and Fliss let out a sigh of relief as she saw it was Scott, their usual vet and not some random on-call one. She led Heidi onto the main area of the yard, the horse rapidly becoming even more agitated. Fliss gently ran her hand down her neck, as she turned to Scott and gave him a quick low down and he nodded, patting Heidi.

“Okay old girl, let’s see what’s going on…” Scott hooked the stethoscope into his ears and moved to listen to her belly, taking a deep breath as he looked at Fliss. “Yeah, there’s absolutely no gut noise at all. It’s definitely colic, but you know that already…” he unhooked the ear pieces, leaving the item hanging around his neck before he moved to her head and examined her nose to get a look at the mucas membrane colour, then did a quick check on her gums which Frank noticed were pale instead of the usual pink.

“She’s in shock.” Fliss sniffed a little, noticing the change in colour and Scott wrinkled his nose.

“Not uncommon if she’s in a bit of pain.” He stood back. “Okay, I’m going to give her an anti-spasmodic and some pain relief which should help, and a mild sedative so I can do an internal examination.”

“Yeah, whatever you need to do.” Fliss nodded as Scott turned to head back to his car to prep what he needed.

“Internal examination?” Frank looked at Fliss, “Like, is he…” He mimed fisting something and despite herself, Fliss let out a snort of laughter.

“That’s exactly what he’s gonna do.” She shook her head as she gently stroked Heidi’s face, the mare giving another grunt and huff as she butted Fliss out of the way a little. “Still a sassbag, eh girl?”

“Like her mom.” Frank looked at Fliss and she shrugged, turning over her shoulder as the vet approached, two large syringes in his hand.

“Look, can you call my mum and dad?” Fliss looked at Frank. “I don’t think…well, Dad especially is going to want to be here if…”

“Sure.” Frank nodded and turned away, obligingly.

He wandered back into the office, Bill who answered the phone instantly asked him what was going on and when he explained he simply stated they would be there as soon as they could be and hung up.

“Is she going to be okay?” Mary asked, as Frank checked on Alex where he was still sleeping in his stroller.

“I honestly don’t know Stack, but as soon as I do I’ll tell you okay?”

“Okay.”

“You’re doing a good job in here, watching him.”

“Don’t patronise me, Dad.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s asleep, and I’m reading. Not like it’s hard.”

Frank blinked, before he gave a little scoff and turned to head back onto the yard.

The Vet was just finishing giving Heidi the first jab and he gently rubbed the horse’s neck and then nodded to Fliss.

“Okay so that’s the pain relief and anti-spasmodic administered. Take her back in the paddock and give her another couple of minutes’ walk round whilst it kicks in.”

Fliss nodded and led the horse away, waving off Frank’s offer to come with her, Thor trotting behind.

“What’s the chances, Scott?” Frank turned to the man and he pulled a face.

“It’s hard to say.” He sighed. “If she was younger I’d be optimistic but with horses that age, well everything like this can be a risk. If this doesn’t work then I’ll know more after I’ve done an internal.”

To their despair it didn’t work, and if anything after another minute of walking around Heidi had gotten even worse and her bright, chestnut coat was now damp with sweat, her chest area and parts of her chest covered in a thin sheen of white foam.

“Scott, she’s in agony.” Fliss sniffed as Frank curled an arm round her.

“The sedative will help more with the pain.” Scott assured Fliss, pulling out the second needle which he administered into the horses neck. “Atta girl. We’ll give that a minute to work.”

As Scott snapped on a pair of rubber gloves, Frank and Fliss both turned to look as they heard another car heading up the gravel driveway onto the yard. Verity and Bill appeared shortly after, exchanging a look before Bill headed straight to Heidi, giving her a soft stroke on the nose before Verity did the same.

“You okay, Titch?” Bill asked, dropping a kiss to her head and she swallowed.

“Not really.” Her eyes flicked to Scott as he moved behind Heidi whose head was now slumped down, resting on Fliss’ shoulder as the sedative had kicked in. No one spoke for a moment, before they all heard a heavy sigh from Scott as he pulled his arm back and shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Fliss.” He sighed, and immediately her face crumpled and she took a deep breath.

“Don’t say it, please.” She begged, her chest tightening painfully as her voice cracked.

“Her gut’s twisted. The only option is surgery, but given her age and the stress that would put on her heart…”

He trailed off as Fliss shook her head, wiping her nose on the back of her sleeve. “I’m not putting her through that.” She whispered, “It’s not fair. She’s too old.”

“In that case then, well, you know what I’m gonna say.” Scott dropped his head as Frank softly placed his hands between Fliss shoulder blades as she nodded and took a deep breath “I really am so sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault.” Fliss shook her head, sniffing loudly. “I don’t want her in pain longer than she needs to be. Can we…can we get on with it, please?”

The Vet nodded. “I won’t be able to arrange for her body to be collected until the morning.” He looked at Fliss who took a shuddering breath, more tears rolling down her face. “So errr, where do you want to….”

“Why don’t you use the barn at the back?” Bill cut in gently. “I can move the tractor out for the night. There’s enough room for her to go down peacefully and she can stay in there until someone can collect her.”

“Yeah, it’s clean in there and a soft landing for when…” Fliss took a deep breath before she began to cry as she pressed her face into her beloved horse’s neck, her shoulders shaking as Frank gently rubbed at her back.

“The kids are in the office.” He turned to Bill and Verity, “Mary’s gonna…”

“We’ll sort it.” Verity assured him. “I’ll take Alex back to the house.” She turned to Fliss and gave her arm a gently squeeze before she gently scratched at Heidi’s wither, her head bowing as she walked away.

The next five minutes passed in a blur for Fliss, and somehow she found herself in the barn at the back, as she led Heidi in, the mare following her faithfully.

“Do you want another couple of minutes?” Scott asked kindly.

“Just one, for us all to say goodbye.” Fliss nodded, as she stroked down Heidi’s nose, the tears pouring down her face. She turned to Mary who was stood with Frank, her eyes wet and Frank picked her up, carrying her over as the family crowded round.

“Goodbye, Heidi.” Mary sniffed, pressing a kiss to her nose as Frank gently gave the horse a scratch on the neck. “Frank says we all end up in the same place eventually, so we’ll see you again.”

At that Fliss let out a loud sob and clamped her hand over her face as she broke down. Bill wiped at his eyes as he dropped his arm round his daughter.

“Do you remember when we went to see her before we bought her?” He asked and Fliss let out a choked laugh. “She was in that field, and she came straight over, but so did that big black horse…”

“And she kicked it.” Fliss laughed. “Then she bit Steve. That’s why I picked her.”

At that Frank let out a soft chuckle.

“Yeah, he held a grudge about that, still does.” Bill smiled softly. “God, you had some moments with her. Falls, disagreements, battles of wills, but you got there in the end.”

“She’s been amazing.” Fliss smiled, pressing her nose to Heidi’s. “Turned herself inside out to please me. The best horse I could ever have had.”

Bill smiled, before he reached up and stroked Heidi’s face. “Night, old girl.”

At that he stepped back a little, the three of them plus the vet giving Fliss a moment alone with her old faithful.

“Dad’s right.” She smiled, her hand stoking Heidi’s nose, “You were an asshole for the first four months but, I knew you’d be special, I just had to get your trust. You gave me everything, baby girl, and I’ll never forget you. I’m gonna miss you so much. Your stupid temper tantrums if I don’t pay you enough attention, the fact you rule the pastures…” the tears poured freely down Fliss’ face as she took a shuddering breath, pressing her head to Heidi’s, taking a deep breath. “Sleep well.”

At that she turned to Scott and nodded, and he stepped forward.

“Okay, you’ve seen this before, right?”

“Yeah.” Fliss nodded, “But Mary hasn’t so…”

“Right, so, Mary, I’m gonna give her the first shot and that’s gonna knock her out pretty much, she’s likely to rock back and sit down like a dog before she flops sideways so, be prepared okay.”

“Kay…” Mary spoke in a quiet voice from where she stood in front of Frank. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders and bent down.

“You sure you wanna watch this?”

Mary nodded. “Yeah. Heidi doesn’t know what’s going on. She should have her family here.”

Frank smiled, pressed a kiss to the top of her head and stood up, his hands remaining where they were as Bill gently strode forward and grabbed Thor’s collar, removing him from the barn and out of the way.

Within seconds of Scott administering the first injection, Heidi did just as Scott said. Fliss gently pushed back with the lead rope, guiding Heidi back and the horse fell onto her haunches before flopping sideways, her head landing heavily on the straw bales that Bill had positioned to cushion her blow.

With a loud sob Fliss dropped to her knees and cradled the horse’s head in her lap as Scott then bent over to give her the last injection.

“So now she’s just basically gonna fall asleep and never wake up.” He looked at Mary who nodded, giving a loud sniff as she reached up to grab Franks hand.

“You okay?” He asked and she nodded, wiping at her face with her other hand. Bill moved, dropping a large hand to the back of the small girl’s head as Fliss gently stroked Heidi’s face as the animal’s eyes closed.

With a final, laboured breath, the animal’s chest grew still and Scott bent over.

“She’s gone.” He looked at Fliss, who gave another loud sob, bending over to press her face into the side of Heidi’s cheek.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t fix you.” She cried, her voice broken. “I’m so sorry.”

Frank was surprised to find his own eyes misting up, and as Mary turned to him, pressing her face into his T’shirt just above the waistband of his sweats, he glanced up at Bill who had tears trickling down his cheeks. He nodded to Frank who gently looked down at Mary, who stepped back and moved towards Bill as he opened his arms, allowing Frank to move into the barn.

“Hey, Lissy…come here.” He dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms round his girl who turned and pressed into him, her body wracked as she almost screamed out her sobs.

*****

It was pushing midnight before they made their way back to the house. Fliss had broken down once more as Frank and Bill had pulled the huge barn doors shut where Heidi’s body lay, covered by a tarp, ready for collection in the morning. The Vet had been nothing short of fantastic, as sympathetic and understanding as he could and for that Frank had thanked him profoundly as he’d been packing his kit up. Without a word said between any of them, they walked down the little pathway and through the gate that connected into the gardens of the house and walked slowly across the gravel driveway. Fliss was walking a little ahead of them, every so often Frank would notice her hand falling to Thor’s head, almost as if she was checking her faithful dog was still with them as well.

She opened the back door which led into the mudroom and walked in, kicking off her boots and then headed into the family room where Verity was sat watching TV. She stood up immediately, took one look at Fliss and then she held her arms out.

“Mum…” Fliss choked and Verity swallowed, her own face creasing into sadness as Fliss stepped into the comfort of her mum’s arms, sniffing slightly.

“Oh, Sweetheart.” Verity pressed a kiss to her daughters head. “I know this is no consolation but she had the best life ever with you, she was so loved and looked after.”

Tearing his eyes away from Fliss, who continued to sniff softly as her mum held her, Frank gently turned to Mary who had tugged on his sleeve.

“You okay?” He asked, his hand gently cupping under her cheek and she shook her head.

“I’m just sad.”

“I know.” He agreed. “You will be for a while, and there’s nothing anyone can say or do that’s gonna make it better, but if you wanna talk about it…”

“No, I think I just wanna go to bed.” She shrugged slightly. “And give Fred a hug.”

“Alright.” He nodded. “You go up, I’ll come tuck you in, in a second.”

She nodded and then walked towards Fliss, hesitating a little, before she continued and gently reached up to lay her hand on Fliss’s elbow. Fliss broke away from her mum and turned to look at Mary, wiping her eyes. Mary blinked and Fliss gave her a soft smile, crouching down to give her a hug, kissing her head.

“I love you, Mom.” Mary’s voice cracked and Fliss pressed her face harder into her hair, pulling her even closer, before she pulled back a little bit and smiled.

“I love you too. And I’m proud of you. You were so brave then.”

Fliss straightened up as Mary walked from the room after bidding everyone a goodnight, before she turned to Frank who was watching her carefully, knowing from the way her face was crumpling that her emotions were about to boil over completely. “Frankie…she…” Fliss stuttered, her chest heaving as Frank stepped forward quickly. “She just…”

“I know…” He wrapped his arms round her and pulled her close as she began to sob, her face pressed into his t-shirt. He stood, his large arms holding her against him, one hand gently resting on the back of her neck, his thumb gently arching over the skin at the back of her ear as he slowly rocked her to-and-fro on the spot, pressing a kiss to her head.

“I’ll make us some tea.” Verity swallowed, and Frank looked at her gratefully as she passed, Bill following, the man gently squeezing Fliss’ shoulder. The room was silent apart from the clinking of mugs as Verity gathered the items she needed to make them all a drink, and Thor’s soft little whines of concern, the dog eventually sticking his head in between Frank and Fliss, nudging Fliss’s thigh with his nose, his noises of distress becoming more and more high pitched. Fliss looked down, Frank’s arm curling over her shoulder as she reached down and scratched behind his ear, before the dog stood on his hind legs, his large paws reaching Fliss’ shoulders as she stooped towards him as he gently licked the tears from her face, his noises dying down a little. Frank watched the animal, a warm feeling in his chest. He’d never seen him react in this way before. He knew from tales Fliss had told him that he’d often comforted her before once her shit bag ex had given her a battering, and he’d seen the dog seek her out when she was upset or worried, but never in such an overt way like this.

“I know you’re not keen on the idea.” Fliss sniffed, looking at Frank and he turned his eyes from the dog to her. “But, can he sleep on the end of the bed, just for tonight?”

Frank looked at her, then back to the dog. Having never had pets as a kid, the bond between a human and an animal was never something he’d really given a second thought to, that is until Mary had found Fred. But since meeting Fliss, seeing the way she was with Thor and her horses, seeing how Mary was with Monty, he’d started to really comprehend that the ties went beyond a simple love. They were bonds, bonds that transcended species, bonds that snaked their way around your heart and latched on with barbs and having one of those bonds wrenched away was not only excruciating but it was devastating.

In simple terms, it was like losing a member of your family, and that Frank could relate to. It was a physical pain, a searing knife which twisted in your heart every time you thought about the person you’d lost.

The lump in Frank’s throat grew even larger as he reached out and scratched Thor behind the ear, the dog turning to him and licking the underside of his forearm, his bushy tail wagging against Frank’s leg.

“I think we can make an exception for one night.” He smiled, looking at Fliss before he pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

*****

Frank was glad their bed was a kingsize. Whilst he never minded particularly that Thor would lounge on the bed with them before they were going to sleep, or in the mornings when they got up, having the big animal on there all night could have been a problem, but as it stood, the dog was perfectly happy to curl up round the peak in the covers which Fliss’ feet made, and she pointed out to Frank that he’d probably hop off and get on his basket at some point during the night.

“He used to do that, anyway.” She shrugged. “When I was in the annex that is. Asshole never let him on the bed. If he was ever away for a few days and I let him or Loki up, I used to have to change the bedding so he wouldn’t find out. One day I forgot and…well, you can figure the rest.”

“Shhhh.” Frank kissed her neck softly as he pulled her closer, her back pressing into his chest wrapping his arms around her. “Try and get some sleep, Sweetheart. It’s late.”

“Thank you.” She whispered.

“What for?”

“Just being you.” She let out a deep breath and turned her head so she could look at him.

“Well, that is one thing I’m pretty good at.” He quipped and Fliss gave a soft chuckle before she took a deep breath.

“I know you’re busy at the shop, but is there any chance you could start late tomorrow?” She asked him softly. “I don’t wanna be on my own when they come to take her.”

“I’m not going in tomorrow.” Frank shook his head. “And Mary’s not going to school. We’ve had a late and upsetting night so I think we should all take it easy, spend some family time together. I thought maybe we could go for a drive, head down to Bay Vista Park.” He suggested. “There’s plenty of shade to sit in. We can take a picnic, climb some trees, me and Mary can have a game of Ultimate Frisbee, perhaps a swim. Hey, we might even spot some manatees.”

“Sounds great.” Fliss agreed, turning her head back round and laying down on the pillow. It was silent for a while, and Frank thought she’d drifted off to sleep until he felt her take a shuddering breath and her shoulders began to shake.

“Hey, come on.” Frank pulled her closer, pressing another kiss to her neck and she turned in his arms, pressing her face into his chest.

“I can’t believe she’s gone.” Fliss sniffed, as Frank’s hand ran up and down her back.

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart. I wish there was something I could do to make this better.”

“This is helping, a little.” She spluttered and Frank gave a soft chuckle, kissing her head again.

“Then you can stay like this all night.” He replied, closing his eyes as he simply held her close.

Eventually, Frank felt Fliss’ breathing grow even, and even though he couldn’t see in the dark of their room he knew she was asleep.

“Night, Baby.” He whispered, kissing her forehead and at that he heard Thor give out a little huff as the dog hopped down off the bed, his basket creaking before there was a soft thud indicating he’d bedded down there.

And, as Frank drifted off, he couldn’t help smile at just how the faithful dog had waited until he knew his precious human was asleep before he left her side.

***** Chapter 22

Dedicated to my gorgeous, wonderful, bad tempered but oh-so-loyal and loving chestnut mare, Sandybrook Hideaway. Keep waiting on that rainbow bridge until I find you again.

#riding on #frank adler #frank adler x ofc #frank adler x original female character #frank adler x oc #gifted #gifted fan fic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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trashcatsnark · 4 years ago

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Oh, let me continue the subject of the jealousy of these two. You're saying that Johnny isn't the type to hold back when it comes to emotions. And it really is. But... there is a moment in the game when V talks about his exes or about stupid compliments in a conversation with River. And Johnny doesn't say anything. I would write it off as a scenario move, so as not to shift the focus from the River. But this isn't the only time Johnny ignores events in this quest line. See the second question

Part 2 for context: So... I continue. Do you remember the moment when you watched brain damage and lost consciousness, when you and River were searching for clues about the mayor's murder? Johnny never ignored the moments when V passed out. Here River comes to the rescue, and you would think that he knows that there is someone to help and nothing to worry about ...But in similar situations with Judy and Panam, he would appear and deliver his moralizing remarks or make snide comments. 🤔

Personally, I do believe this is sort of a meta issue. I’ve talked about it a little bit before in a general post; how given his characterization, Johnny does not in my opinion talk as much as he should. In a more comedic example, I mentioned how could anyone honestly look me in the eye and say that Johnny wouldn’t have a comment on the guy with the exploding penis implant???? Like Johnny is majorly characterized as a guy who can’t leave well enough alone and always has something to say; yet theres a fairly large percentage of gigs and missions and moments where you’d think Johnny would have something to say and he doesn’t. There’s also times where lines are blatantly reused and in a jarring way.

Like, I could be wrong, but I think they reuse him saying “There it is” with both V getting Nibbles and a man committing suicide in a gig. Like?????

Meta wise, I do think it’s partially a fear of over incorporating Johnny to the point players found him annoying. Because even now, some people find him irritating and wish he’d talk less. So, that could be a factor. The idea of not sidelining love interests is a factor of course. While, he has commentary through out each love interests questlines. He always does mostly bugger off during the romantic lead up and the actual kiss then sex. Because well, it might be a bit of a buzzkill and if you’re trying to get laid and Methed Out Future Keanu Reeves is yelling at you from the corner of the room. I mean, it’d probably enhance my experience but some people aren’t into that.

As for why stuff like, him ignoring V getting zapped by the braindance in River’s quest. I’ve always thought that was ooc. Like, short of potentially the bd having fried him up for a bit, kinda like the emp blast does when V and Panam take down the AV. But overall, over and over again, Johnny is shown to be the first one there when V gets hurt. Even if its to yell at them for going into the toxic water or he waits a beat to appear once Panam is done looking over V.

And that could be because they potentially again wanted to give more attention to River or... and I always hate to get into this sort of discourse, cause I know it aggravates some people. It was an oversight, something not caught, something not thought of, just because to be fair...River has the least polished questline of the love interests. The male love interests in general imo were sidelined more. But, River A) has the least amount of quests to build up to his romance, B) is the most easily missable love interest since he’s not even required to meet for the secret ending the way Kerry is. and C) this could just be my own personal experience, maybe cyberpunk 2077 provides unique bugs for everyone, but his quests are the buggiest for me.

And to be perfectly clear, this is not me being a dick to River. Do, I think some aspects of his character are kinda tone deaf, sure, but I like River. I think he’s a sweetheart, who’s usually pretty stiff, but has his cuter jokey moments and is a puppy dog underneath. I love doing his quests because they’re truly very emotional, being able to help his family. Like, being able to save Randy is one of the best feelings in the game to me, knowing you saved him and so many other young boys. That’s why it honestly breaks my heart to see how little polish and attention his quests were given. From the calls glitching, him not staying on comms in the first quest, Johnny in my game doesn’t even give the dialogue warning my V about River wanting to sleep with her, like it just does not show up for me, The cobbled together family photo. The weird pacing of the romance that goes from 0 to a 100. Randy’s face glitches and clips through the mask when you’re saving him. Like the concept, the investigation, the intense stakes, and the emotional impact of his quest are all so good; but CDPR just did not in my opinion take enough time with it.

So, maybe they didn’t bother to script and put Johnny in that scene despite it being something he’d most definitely pop in for; cause they just didn’t take their time with it like they could have/should have.

And in regard to Johnny in universe and talking; while like I said he’s more upfront and direct with his anger and side comments that he uses to hide his real feelings. I do think, especially if its post oils field convo, a part of him tries desperately to bite his tongue and just sit with his feelings if he think its best for V. In the more love dovey romance moment with River, I could see him being like, “okay, V wants this, as much as it pisses me off, V deserves to have some good in their life” and tries to hold back and be good and then five seconds later “CANT BELIEVE YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME FUCK A COP” cause he can only behave for so long.

And I do wanna note; I am by no means consider myself a Johnny Silverhand expert. I’ve said this before, his characterization and just him as a person can be very messy, very all over the place, and contradictory at times. He can try to kill V and then the next day pop up to chat with them in a diner and be like “why aren’t you happy to see me?????? you still mad?????? its been a whole ass 5 hrs since I told you to kill yourself and bashed your head into a window, gotta learn to let shit go dude.” So, sometimes I worry I’m making him ooc, but its fun nontheless, so.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #cyberpunk 2077 spoilers #johnny silverhand #silverv #kinda???? i spent a lot of time complaining about how they did river's quest dirty so #not tagging him though cause uhhhhhhh me no wanty discourse #idk if i said anything discoursable but just in case #orly-view

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abortionado · 4 years ago

Text

Quick tips for writing Penelope since I’ve actually gotten a lot of positive feedback on how I write her :) ! 💕:

- Her light-hearted, over-the-top, fairy-princessy personality is not rooted in naivety or lack of intelligence, it’s a choice!

She’s not a little girl, despite the fact that she adopts the sort of aesthetic that a little girl might aspire to—she’s a grown woman who wakes up every day and makes a choice to be a positive force in the extremely taxing environment where she works. She mentions quite a few times (when Spencer’s been poisoned, when dealing with the pig farm, etc) that she finds it difficult to be her usual self—she chooses to always behave in a way that makes her friends feel safe, happy, and loved, and that choice takes genuine effort!

Her overwhelming positivity is partially artificial, and it’s rooted in her desire to see her loved ones happy. It’s draining for her. She’s not stupid—she knows a bad situation when she sees one, and the reason she jokes around with them through horrible things is not because she doesn’t understand the gravity of these situations, but because she puts her “family’s” happiness before her own. They need her, and she knows that.

- She’s not self conscious.

Literally not at all. The opposite tbh. She’s happy with herself, has a strong sense of individuality, knows that she’s attractive and desirable, and, apparently, gets a lot of dick. I’m not saying to never ever write her as being self-conscious about anything (because she gets really upset about even the slightest of errors in her work), but there’s really not a whole lot of good reasons to write her as body-conscious when that’s clearly not the case. It’s out of character, and it’s a tired and boring portrayal of plus sized women that we don’t really need more of 🤷🏼‍♀️

- She’s scared of Hotch and Rossi.

The rest of the team (especially Derek and Emily, who are closer to them in age than JJ and Spencer are) are more comfortable around them because they frequently travel together, but Penelope doesn’t do that, so she’s very intimidated by them. She calls them “sir” and makes a genuine effort to look like she’s behaving herself when they walk into her office. (She literally never is so I’m always curious who she thinks she’s fooling with that.) Their relationships get warmer as time goes on, but keep in mind that she’s always a little stiffer around her superiors.

- She’s never, ever, ever jealous or catty or snarky to the other women.

I don’t know where this thing came from of giving her this “Not Like Other Girls” personality, but I don’t like it >:(

She LOVES Emily and JJ just as much as she loves Spencer (I was gonna say ‘and Derek’ but he’s clearly her favorite), and they love her, too! JJ shot a man point blank in the chest for her!!!! They go for girls’ nights!!!

She values her female friendships and worries about her girlfriends female friends!!!

- She has a breaking point.

Like I said ^, she doesn’t stay bubbly forever. I don’t know exactly what that point is on a case-to-case basis, but I know for a fact that she sobers up really quick when one of her teammates is in danger.

She absolutely doesn’t keep up the flirty, jokey baby-talk routine when someone is hurt. If you remember when Hotch went missing after Foyet stabbed him, she was completely drained and in tears the whole time.

- Speech!

Last quick tips I wanna give without going into trauma analysis or whatever are speech/behavior:

- She almost never stutters unless she feels guilty, scared, or caught-by-Strauss. She’s very sure of herself.

- Ornate language! In addition to the obvious nicknames, I mean. She’s like Spencer in that she says a lot of extremely ridiculous, flowery things that would sound insane coming from literally anyone else. (The difference is that she’s doing it for comedic effect, not because that’s how she thinks!) Language is one of the best things about writing Penelope—have fun with this one lmao

- Unlike Spencer, her speech varies a lot depending on who she’s speaking to. Obviously, she’s flirtatious with Derek, typically soothing and motherly with Spencer, stammery and nervous with Hotch, etc. She’s not gonna talk to everyone the same way!

- Nicknames—totally have fun with them, but if you’re stuck, she follows a pattern:

“You [compliment] [adjective] [noun]” for the team

and

“My [gross compliment] [gross adjective] [noun]” for Derek

Okay that’s all folks hope this helps

#oc #characters

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aqvarius · 5 years ago

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[REVIEW] Her Love in the Force: Shusuke Soma - Who I Once Was

Guys, I’m supposed to be dieting during this quarantine period but Voltage is keeping me FED with all this new amazing Soma content.

HLITF fans, we have been blessed with amazing Soma content recently. Soma’s S3 Love’s Battlefield route was probably one of, if not the, most memorable HLITF routes I’ve ever played. I also adored his PoV despite it not covering all the moments that I personally wanted to read. (I understand disappointment over it, but I found that the bonus scenes they gave us made up for it, and it allows me to play with my own imagination a bit and potentially write up some fic for the scenes not in his PoV hehe.)

Like the manic Soma fan that I am, I had to IMMEDIATELY buy and read this route. I love him so much I am willing to do anything just to understand him even a little bit better. To my delight, I’m not even a little bit disappointed. And the route even made me spend 300 more coins to buy Goto’s Episode 0 so well done Voltage lol.

I will summarise my thoughts on this story and then get into some more detail in the cut below. With that said, if you know Soma’s back story already, there isn’t much information to spoil. But I’ll leave some of the more surprising details under the cut.

This story shows us an unfamiliar Soma. This is a Soma that is far colder than even when we first meet him as a Special Instructor at the Academy. He battles with his conflict over his future and what he feels like his life’s purpose is, which is all sparked over his sister Kurume’s comment that she sees him as a hero. Throughout the route, he struggles with aimlessness and his futile attempts to investigate the metro gas attack even while doing his work in the Criminal Affairs/Investigations department, where he becomes the mentor for new recruits Ichiyanagi and Goto. That’s RIGHT, we finally get the Soma/Goto/Ichiyanagi Criminal Affairs dynamics that I have been waiting for years for ever since finding out that they all worked there together! (The only thing missing is Hayase but I guess he’s from a different timeline lol).

This is something that makes the route super enjoyable to read because we get to see a Soma who isn’t as gentle and reticent as the one we know. He’s a bit colder, a bit harsher, and has less tolerance for antics. We also see Soma as a mentor before he became an instructor and it’s so cool to realise that Goto and Subaru are so capable partially because of the harsh but fair mentoring of Soma and the way that he’s not only drilled the fundamentals of police work into them but also supported them emotionally through the trials of losing a loved one. This route really helps you understand why Goto has so much trust and respect for Soma (and I’d like to see more Soma/Subaru interactions!)

We also get to see Kurume for what I believe is the first time, which is incredible to be able to put a face to the name. I am such a sucker for big brother Shusuke and seeing more of his life with Kurume really adds depth to our understanding of his character and why/how losing him has made him lose perspective of his own life and identity.

(I don’t know if I can explain in words how devastated seeing the two of them together made me feel...)

The route also gave some more insight into the Goto/Kazuki situation which was used really well to offset Soma’s own situation regarding vengeance and unresolved grief. We also get to see more of the relationship between Soma and Goto and how much Goto respects him as a senpai even though Goto transferred to Public Safety first (on the recommendation of a certain elite ;)). There are also some great Ishigami/Soma moments which I’ll elaborate on under the cut, as well as some things I discovered while cross referencing between this story and Goto’s Who I Once Was.

I love that there’s a theme running throughout the story, which is about defining a hero. This is a crucial question which underpins Soma’s incessant yet pointless attempts to figure out his identity and purpose in life. I love that we begin to see him figuring out what being a hero means to him and that Goto’s own grief and slow road to recovery, and the way that he’s affected Goto’s life, is what sets him on this path towards figuring out where to go from here on out. This path is then what leads him to his MC, who we can see is someone who grabs him by the hand and pulls him ever forward.

To put it briefly, this is a route you’ll enjoy if you love Team Ishigami. You get to see both Soma and Goto pre-trauma (you get to see a younger Goto than in his own episode 0), but then you see both of them forced to confront grief head-on, and then you can see how they both help each other to move forward in their own subtle ways. This story also showcases the best of Ishigami, a man who is collected and analytical but is always thinking of how he can help those around him who are hurt. Like how Ishigami and Kaga are saved by Namba, I would say that Soma saves Goto, then Goto returns the favour, and then Ishigami saves them both.

Keep reading under the cut to see my further thoughts on Soma: Who I Once Was. I provide extra details about the story and provide some analysis on his relationships with his colleagues and his MC with lots of screenshots for evidence!

Okay so first off: Soma’s parents are ALIVE??? Why have we never met them?! You would think that they would come to Kurume’s grave on Soma’s birthday to see their children at least. For some reason I genuinely thought it was just him and Kurume but no it turns out that he’s had parents this whole time?! Either way, it’s so wonderful getting to see Soma’s home life from back when he was a teenager.

In the past, I’ve made joking comments about Soma being confused over familial and romantic love and wondering if he just cares for his MC like he cares for Kurume because how can you have sex with someone and then still wonder if you just care for them like a SISTER. But this story definitely helped me understand his mindset a bit better and why he sees similarities between his MC and his sister.

So I think we’ve discovered quite early on that Soma’s sister died on his 19th birthday. We also see scenes of them when Kurume is in high school and already having to fill out forms about her future. So she would be 15 at the very least while Shu would have been probably in his first year of uni? I think he’s mentioned that Kurume and his MC would be around the same age but I was really reminded of that in this route.

Honestly it devastated me to read that conversation because her future was just stripped away from her like that. And to see her get all excited about all the possibilities her future held just wrecked me emotionally. She was considering being a florist or a baker or a pharmacist. She would have been around the same age as the MC :’( To see Shu suggest that Kurume could consider studying agriculture made my heart ache because it made me think of how much care Soma puts into maintaining his plants and how much it means to him that his MC takes care of them for him when he can’t, especially because that’s what Kurume did. I also now believe that Soma is so invested in doing whatever it takes to guide his MC towards the best possible future for her because it’s his way of almost atoning for Kurume never being able to live out her dreams and future.

So rather than mistaking familial and romantic/sexual love, I think it’s rather that Soma sees his MC as symbolic of how his sister might have grown up. Rather than thinking of his MC as his sister, he wonders if he’s just fond of her because she’s similar to how she might have been, sort of like how you might make friends more easily with people that remind you of other friends or siblings/people close to you. That’s why he gets so confused when he feels more beyond just affection and can’t control his emotions, because he’s never felt love beyond just worrying and wanting the best for someone until his MC.

On a side note, Soma did a 4 year degree at a university before joining the police academy? What did he study?!?! I want to know!!!!!

I also love that we got to see Soma not really wanting to be a mentor. We get to see him at his most candid, and at a time in his life where he’s still figuring himself out and doesn’t have any goals except for getting to the bottom of the Crimson Wings case. So when he has to take two rambunctious young men under his wing, it’s so amusing to see how much they annoy him at first with their bickering. In the main stories, we only really get to see a bit of this when he deals with Kurosawa but when he does that, it’s kind of jokey and snarky but man Subaru and Goto really pissed him off at times LOL. Like I mentioned, we’ve only seen him as a seasoned instructor who goes out of his way to help you develop, but he is so reluctant to look after these kids at first. He calls them goons, the gruesome twosome, annoying, a pain in the ass… It’s so funny seeing this side of Soma.

I did think it was so cute that Subaru immediately jumped to calling him Shu and Goto was so polite and called him Soma-san but then somewhere down the line ended up calling him Shu as well (which is what he still calls him to this day. I would literally DIE to see some present-day Subaru/Soma interactions – will someone who’s played Goto’s Adversaries let me know if the two of them interact? Subaru is so alpha male especially now, I’d love to see him defer to Soma in the present day.) It was also so cute that they tried to throw him a birthday party (but also very tragic because his birthday is also the anniversary of Kurume’s death and none of them knew that).

I also loved seeing Soma’s response to Kazuki’s death and the way that Goto’s loss and Soma’s loss kind of play off each other. He knows how it feels to lose a loved one, he’s been dealing with the repercussions of it for at least around 5 years at this point with frankly very little progression. If Goto was not able to move forward because he was stuck in time, Soma is not able to move forward because he is lost. Goto’s grieving puts in in a static place where he can’t move, but Soma’s grieving has him constantly moving, but without direction. He’s haunted by Kurume’s words and even says as much: “I had no idea where I was supposed to go… I just let myself float along”.

This is why Soma scolds him both in his own story and in Goto’s story, and it is Soma’s experience that allows him to guide Goto towards his growth. It’s also (at least partially) because of Soma that Goto ends up in Public Safety.

Ishigami approaches Soma for an evaluation of Goto, stating that “students raised by an elite teacher are elite themselves”. Soma’s evaluation sets the stage for Goto to eventually be able to confront his grief and develop as an undercover specialist through Ishigami’s guidance; Goto even calls him his “benefactor”. In Goto’s story, he says “It has to be him. The one who found me on the neon-lit street” and Goto then mentions a line about being blinded by revenge that I’m pretty certain is something that Soma said during their nighttime (and thus presumably neon-lit) back alley chat. So I’m not 100% certain who Goto has in mind but 95% he’s thinking about Soma, especially since he later thanks him for the transfer.

We know that Soma essentially helps Goto without trying because he’s confused when Goto calls him his benefactor. In evaluating Goto to Ishigami and cornering him in that dark alley, without even knowing it, Soma effectively helps to push Goto into facing his future – the two facets that Goto says makes someone a hero.

We also discover that Soma is recruited to Public Safety through a recommendation by Goto, who is presumably “the elite who nominated” him. I love that if Soma pushes the frozen-in-time Goto into moving forward, Goto helps the lost Soma begin to find some direction.

For years, Soma has been chasing this elusive concept of “being a hero” without even knowing what that means, which is why he never gets closer to fulfilment, because he doesn’t know what it’s supposed to be like to “feel like a hero”. No matter what he himself does, he is never able to see himself as a hero either because he couldn’t prevent the death of the one person he wanted to save. I will say probably that the thing that first changed Soma into making him feel like he has more sense of purpose in becoming one step closer to the “hero” that Kurume said he was is that Goto basically called him his hero. I think it’s so special because here we can really see the links drawn between Goto’s life, Soma’s life, and the narrative theme of being a “hero”.

Something that I thought was missing was how Goto (and potentially Subaru?) finds out about Soma’s past. We never see him tell him about it, but I wonder if that’s the reason why he nominates Soma to join Public Safety? We know that Ishigami knows about it, but I think Goto would probably have found out through Soma himself?

On another note, I actually wondered why Soma, Goto and Kurosawa all have fairly similar strategies and strengths as detectives while Kaga and Shinonome have more specific specialties. Now I realise it’s because Goto trained under Soma, and Kurosawa trained under both Goto and Soma.

These two routes made me realise that Goto needed Soma, Soma needed Goto, and they both needed Ishigami and Public Safety in order to be able to keep walking forward without being trapped in neverending grief. I just need to talk for a little bit about how incredible Ishigami is. Ishigami’s judgement in picking his team is amazing. The fact that he finds these people who have personal vendettas who are working covertly and independently to achieve vengeance and then sees how they evaluate each other shows that he is actively building a team that respects each other and work well together. He sees that they have the skills for Public Safety work but also that they have personal issues that Public Safety can help them deal with, and then he does everything he can to help them attain their peace. Ishigami is unbelievably supportive. He works quietly and diligently within the system to get his subordinates to where they need to be and I LOVE THAT SO MUCH.

Okay with all this said, I cross referenced between Goto’s Episode 0 and Soma’s Episode 0 and found some timeline discrepancies? Right after Kazuki’s death, we know Goto spends a while completely depressed until Subaru drags him up to go to Kazuki’s funeral. Then after her funeral, he becomes obsessed with working independently to try to avenge her death. This goes on for long enough (weeks) that Soma has to corner him in a back alley to lecture him (which by the way happens surprisingly often with Soma lol). Goto transfers to Public Safety soon after Kazuki’s funeral. We know this because he transfers and we see him start doing work for Ishigami but when he goes to see her grave and Subaru says that he’s transferring to SP department, this happens on the monthiversary of Kazuki’s death (not even her funeral). Then, it says that Soma transfers to Public Safety a few weeks after Goto’s transfer (meaning it would have happened within a couple months at most after Kazuki’s death).

In Soma’s route, we know that he goes to see Goto a few weeks after Iijima (Kazuki)’s funeral with the bananas. This occurs while Goto is still at Criminal Affairs because Soma references “the other day” when Soma lectures him about his personal life getting in the way of his job. I’m assuming this happens after the back alley lecture when Goto has returned to normal life for that one week before he gets called to transfer to Public Safety. However, later Soma, still working in Criminal Affairs, says “Years have passed, but the one responsible for [Kazuki’s] case wasn’t caught”. This suggests that Soma was still at Criminal Affairs for years after Goto’s transfer to Public Safety rather than weeks? So what’s the TRUTH?

I also just briefly want to gush about how much I love the CG. We see those typical important Soma elements (his hair and the bonsai) but I just love the look on his face. I mean he looks impossibly handsome, but he looks so serious and determined while at the same time still lacking the warmth that we see in later CGs that he only develops after meeting his MC. Am I reading too much into this? Maybe, but let me PRETEND.

Finally, I want to end my thoughts on how this relates to his relationship with his MC. Soma says that she’s helped him to face the future. As I previously discussed, I genuinely believe that part of this is because his MC lets him see glimpses of what Kurume could have been. Soma is attracted to her brightness, her bravery, her diligence, her conviction and her optimism. (He also starts enjoying everyday life with her when they pose as a married couple and let’s not forget that he does find her physically attractive even before he falls in love/realises he’s in love lol). But more significantly, I feel like this is because of how important he is to her.

Soma has previously said that he doesn’t trust Public Safety, but for some reason they seem to trust him. This reveals that he’s not sure of what his value is to his department or to his colleagues. While he has moved forward, he’s still working towards being that “someone who pushes you to face the future” and “helps people without trying”. Even though Goto basically implies that Soma is the one who has helped him face his future, Soma sort of interrupts so he doesn’t explicitly voice it. However, when his MC confesses how important he is to her with that unwavering conviction of hers, I believe in that moment he suddenly realises his own worth. His MC, who in some ways is a vicarious symbol of Kurume’s potential, helps him see that he has already been a “hero” to those he has saved through his Public Safety work and to his colleagues. This, combined with her trust in his colleagues and them actually coming to the rescue, is what makes Soma able to trust his colleagues. Because he finally knows his own worth, he can finally see how significant he is to his colleagues and how far they would go for him. I think this is also what makes him believe in Public Safety as an institution. For years, he’s been unable to trust or forgive Public Safety because of what happened to Kurume, but now he can finally see that they as an institution have actually helped people and saved people’s lives, and this is partially due to his own involvement.

Finally, the last facet of his relationship with his MC that I want to talk about is how mutually important their relationship is. I’ve already discussed how his MC sees him as a hero by those guidelines that Goto helped him set down, but by those same guidelines, his MC is also his hero. I mean first off, he first became conscious of her as a woman when she gave a ridiculous display of bravery. But more importantly, if a hero is someone who helps people without trying and someone who pushes you to face the future, she has done both of those for him. He says so himself: “With her, I think I can focus on the future and moving forward”. And she has helped him just by being herself. This theme really comes to a head when she literally throws away her own future to help him finally get closure. When he decides to cut his hair, he says this:

“I’ll make the cut, draw the distinction between the past and the future, because I love them both.

I have to let go of what I’ve lost and look to what I can still gain.”

He learns this because of her.

Soma: Who I Once Was is an incredible story that really helped me to understand my favourite character’s psyche, history and relationships just a little bit more. For that, I’m so thrilled and so grateful. I’m so pleased at the quality of this content and all the insight it provides, and I’m excited to see how Soma and his relationships continue to grow and develop in the future.

#shusuke soma #seiji goto #hideki ishigami #subaru ichiyanagi #her love in the force #hlitf #voltage #voltage inc #voltage otome #otome game #otome blog #otome romance #love 365 #love 365 find your story #snow writes #review

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divine-motion · 5 years ago

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finished pathologic 2 so day 9 to 12 thoughts below because i have to

the abattoir was fucking rough i can only imagine artemy is running around with at least broken arm after that bc worms hit like a brick shit house

also nara... nara... i’m sad. didn’t feel good.

i love pathologic but didn’t so much like “the plague was sent from earth to kill people” that sounds too much like those ecofascists going on about how corona is “cleaning up” or whatever. i think it could’ve been a Miracle of earth without being a punishment you know?

really wish i could’ve had artemy be angrier with isidor in that dream. i know you love your dad and he was your only family you had left before you accidentally became a dad, artemy, but isidor is an old bitch and i hate him.

seriously releasing the plague on purpose?? what the fuck?? “oh it’s a vaccination” yeah that cost tens of thousands of lives?? summon your son back so he can risk death and infection every day as he tries to fix what you did??

isidor: these seven children will build the future of this town and that’s why i released a plague sand pest: *immediately infects specifically those seven children* isidor, presumably: welp son looks like you gotta deal with that now

also the plague just coming to my house and infecting ALL of my children??? what the fuck??? grief and aspity got infected too it was so stressful but luckily i had just enough panaceas and shmowders to save them all but all the conversations with the kids were fucking gut-punches... murky bringing funeral wreaths for sticky... fuck...

artemy dialogue options to people other than grief: i can vouch for grief, he’s good, deep down, and he didn’t want any of these cutthroats running around. it was really ugly of lara and stakh to just leave him behind. lay off grief, ok, he’s a decent man, better than most! artemy dialogue options to grief: what’s up you idiot crime clown stop whining and stop talking about puppets already, also for the love of god don’t become a monk i don’t even want to imagine it

maybe he just wants to play along and let grief think that his Criminal Mastermind act has fooled him i don’t know

day 10 really had me running about desperately trying to save my children and then some dude tells me “did they execute lara yet?” and i had to sprint off to save her and felt awful seeing her say she didn’t want to live anymore... pathologic is sad

also i told her “hand me the gun ok, discreetly” but my inventory had no space for a gun so it looked like artemy just dropped it on the ground after she handed him the gun and was like “ok it’s fine it’s fine let’s go let’s go”

of course after i thought nothing could get more stressful than day 10, day 11 of course managed to be more stressful, at least time-wise, because at least i knew that i could cure all my kids and friends

out of morbid curiosity i performed an autopsy on madam inquisitor and uh. ma’am. ma’am? you had no blood and no organs whatsoever. what’s up with that??

daniil dankovsky bachelor of medicine really straight up murdered an innocent courier because he wanted the polyhedron to survive and cursed about how this “wretched town” should be sacrificed instead huh

also he just had to praise himself by saying “smart of me not to eat the letter and burning it instead” like this man really thinks that he’s the smartest man in the world for just doing what any other person would’ve done

i love daniil dankovsky he’s an idiot

house of death is still the scariest thing in the game for me bc i hate being chased but the fucking. army approaching from all sides around me and the changeling, trying to find a way without soldiers to escape through... i don’t know it was just. scary. they were just walking towards me with their rifles drawn. also i knew they could all kill me in like one shot so that added to it

in the context of pathologic 2 being a play, what does that make the Other Artemy Burakh? like i know it’s because there are several actors that can play the haruspex but like. imagine watching a play and then the main character stumbles upon another guy who says “no i’m the actor that’s gonna play you now”. would it look like it’s some guy who got snubbed at the audition ran on stage and started improv’ing about killing the courier and the rest of the show just went along with it? the “real” actor maybe starts beating the snubbed guy up on stage?

i went with the diurnal ending partially because of the whole “echoing ecofascist words” that’s unfortunately there in some of it, but it still felt bad when faced with the fact that the miracles were going to die out if i went through with it

also, managed to only have two people die of the plague and it was the two Vlads! so, you know, no great loss. sorry capella you’re orphaned now but you seemed to get on well

it was worth it to see murky and sticky standing outside the burakh residence and talking about living there with artemy

also to hear lara say she was going to help me raise them

stakh is way more sarcastic and jokey than i originally expected of him. he’s gonna do well as artemy’s apprentice

“what are your commands, mentor” “my first command is for you to never call me that again”

they are brothers.

immediately felt like reloading and choosing the nocturnal ending when i spoke to aspity and realized she was dying and once again felt like crying when artemy said that he still needed her and apologized to her

miss aspity i’ll let the plague live next time just for you

in conclusion pathologic 2 good game, can’t wait to play marble nest next

#pathologic #pathologic 2 #i don't really have anything of worth to say here i just needed to get my thoughts out #and to tell everyone i think isidor is a bitch #murky was right

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inuitakumi · 5 years ago

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i uhhh decided to make a profile for cheng’mei as im updated/rewriting his lore, i don’t expect anyone to actually read this but you’re welcome to lmao

Full Name: C’hengmei Tia/Hengmei’a Xue

“Alias”: Cheng’mei Xue

Full Name Meaning: His parents were a Seeker (father) and Keeper (mother) Neither seemed to fully agree on what his name was, and though while his parents were in the same room he seemed to be ‘C’hengmei’ his mother exclusively referred to his name as ‘Hengmei’a’ when his father wasn’t present (which was often). As a result, he was never quite sure what his name actually was

Alias Meaning: After the Calamity hit and Cheng’mei was left alone, he began traveling with an Elezen who had nursed him back to health, in that time he decided to permanently use his mother’s surname Xue, his first name changing entirely coming about as an accident as his name had been misspelled somewhere as they were making passage to Thanalan. Since it showed no real association with either tribe and was entirely it’s own, he chose to keep it like that.

Nicknames: Cheng, Mei, Warrior of Light/Darkness etc

Pet Name: Occasionally called MeiMei if someone is feeling particularly affectionate

Handwriting/Signature: incredibly messy, as he was mostly ignored during his childhood he never really got much of a formal education.

Gender: Male

Age: 23, probably closer to 24/25 by the end of ShB but who knows how the fuck time works in this game

Birthday: 32nd Sun of the 5th Umbral Moon (Oct 31st) year 1554 of the Sixth Astral Era

Birthplace: Limsa Lominsa

Immediate Family: Father, C’yahng, Mother, Hengmei’a Xue, and younger sister Ahqing Xue. Their current whereabouts are unknown

Distant Family: Presumably has family in a small Xue tribe in the Black Shroud and family in the C tribe. Though his parents are now separated he assumes that if they survived he likely has other half siblings roaming around somewhere.

Upbringing:

Infancy [0-2]: ah what a good time to exist. Too young to realize that his parents definitely should not be in a relationship with each other.

Childhood [3-9]: From about 3-5 he still felt the warmth and affection of staying by his mother’s side. Despite having trouble responding when called due to not fully comprehending what his name was, he felt happy and loved at this point and was excited when his father would come home from his ‘merchant’ trips (cough piracy cough) and play with him. Though there were other Miqo’te children his age from the tribe his father came from who were nearby, they never seemed to want to play with him partially from his being different as he looked like a keeper, and because his father was splintered away from the tribe for coupling with someone despite being a tia, and with a keeper. Either way, at that age his mother rarely left the house, and as a result he rarely left too, thus resulting in no friends even from the local non-miqo children in Limsa.

From 5 onward his mother became more and more distant from him, insisting more and more often for him to leave the house on his own which was an incredibly odd turnaround from before. Traditionally of course Keeper males wandered between groups and generally did not stay with their families. Though looking back, Cheng’mei also suspected there was resentment she held against him since he’s pretty sure that keepers don’t make their sons leave at THAT young of an age, and without any sort of male figure to keep an eye on them. This also created more tension between his parents, with his father thinking it ridiculous to let a small child run around on his own in Limsa Lominsa, especially when Cheng’mei almost got kidnapped on multiple occasions.

At the age of 9, he now had a younger sister that his mother clearly paid much more attention to. Their parents also had no arguments over her name, and his father relented easily in letting his sister have a fully keeper name since he was never home anymore anyways. When his father randomly decided to take him on a trip with him on a “merchan” ship, he thought things were looking up. He ended up disappointed because even on the ship he was sat on a barrel and largely ignored by his father, with his only entertainment being from some Lalafell who took pity on the bored child and entertained him with stories from Ul’dah and Thanalan, which is where they hailed from. Upon returning home they were greeted with an empty house, with Cheng’mei’s mother having left with his little sister. He suspected his father knew this would happen, but he never got an explanation as to why.

Early Teens [10-17]: Now with only his father, Cheng’mei now spent even more time alone. Despite the fact that in his youth, Cheng’mei’s father would get mad when his mother left him alone or pushed him out of the house, he now did it even more often than she did. Again, he’d spend most of this part of his youth wandering Limsa, seeking out strangers to tell him stories or take pity on him and give him snacks. When he was 16, he picked up a job at a tavern, where he was able to witness more adventurers passing through with their own stories, and he continually remembered those Lalafell who talked to him about Ul’dah. He ventured out on his own on occasion, making it to Costa del Sol by tagging along with adventurers, but it resulted in the scars on his face when he was attacked unaware.

Late Teens [18-23]: The Calamity hit when he was 18 years old, and he doesn’t actually remember what he was doing or where he even was at the time, he only remembered a blur, and waking up with an Elezen who had taken him in and nursed him back to health. They continued to travel together, helping out what little they could. During this time, he had even considered the possibility of going to Gridania to find his mother and sister. He ultimately decided against it, as not even his father knew where his mother’s family lived and hunted in the Black Shroud, since their meeting had been an off chance moment when she had entered Gridania. And even then, he wasn’t actually sure if any of his family were still alive or not.

Ul’dah [23]: Cheng’mei and the Elezen who helped him parted ways when arriving to Thanalan, now newly christened with his new name after a flub, Cheng’mei traveled to the thaumaturge’s guild to begin some of his first proper training in being an adventurer. It was there in his fledgling adventuring time that he met Thancred and the Scions for the first time, and began his ascent into the role of the Warrior of Light. Despite being able to defeat Lahabrea and destroying the Ultima Weapon, he never felt comfortable in his role as a Black Mage. Despite all the anxiety and reservations that he held whenever he was in Gridania with fear that he may run into his mother and sister and general discomfort with not fitting in with any traditional miqo’te structure (the only miqo’te he was close to at the time being Nashu, who was quite untraditional), he tried his hand at archery and felt at home with a bow and arrow, and even befriended Leih Aliapoh, relating to her confusing feelings about family.

Despite having spent the least amount of time in Ul’dah versus Limsa Lominsa, he considers that he truly came into his own the most during his time there, and even works with the Immortal Flames to this day, as such to most people he’s considered to be from Ul’dah.

Evolution (How has your character changed since they were younger?): as a child he never really formed bonds with anyone because he had the assumption that they’d ultimately ignore him like his parents would. Instead he got his entertainment from stories and fleeting entertainment he got from others never getting very close with them. As he got older he slowly started growing more attached to people like the Elezen who helped him and came to the issue of growing immediately heavily attached to people who would show him slight affection. In the Scions, he often followed Thancred like a swooning maiden just because of some light jokes Thancred would make about following him around. Perhaps because he didn’t enjoy a normal childhood, he definitely acted a bit more childish and rough than someone should at his age. He irritated Urianger at first, for seemingly not taking any of his written out notes or information seriously, until Urianger finally confronted him about not reading anything and Cheng’mei had to tearfully admit he could barely read anything and felt some insecurity for not feeling as intelligent as the other highly educated Scions and just being more of a pawn who was directed in their every action. They became closer as Urianger, along with Y’shtola, helped teach him showing him that despite lacking formal education, he was actually quite perceptive. (Y’shtola earned the nickname of Auntie Shtola as a result of her patience with him) Despite his supposed crush on Thancred, it was actually Haurchefant where he first started experiencing something akin to actual love, and the resulting heartbreak and pain from his death changed Cheng’mei drastically. He’s constantly horrified thinking that it could have been another fleeting attachment from someone who gave him affection or if it ever could have been something else. Though still jokey and sassy, you could see the experiences of battles begin weighing him down as his rough childish edges began wearing down. He started focusing more on his relations with others, and even started considering Alphinaud and Alisae like the siblings he never got to have after not even getting to begin a relationship with his own sister. He even felt quite a bit of anger with how Thancred treated Ryne at first, looking back to his own neglecting parents.

Species: Miqo’te

Ethnicity: Mixed Keeper of the Moon and Seeker of the Sun, appearance is solely Keeper of the Moon

Facial Type: Round

Eye Color: Left eye light blue, right eye two shades darker

Hair Color: Black, with white streaks

Hairstyle: Tends to stray on the long side

Skintone: Very pale

Complexion: Clear, though very often a bit sunburnt

Makeup: Using a rather elaborate red warpaint design on his face to draw attention away from his scars (and sunburn)

Body Type: Ectomorph

Build: Lean and small for speed, very in tune with the average build of a hunter miqo’te, which is probably why he felt such a strong connection with archery when he tried it.

Height: 5′2″ (157cm)

Weight: 53kg/116 pounds

Facial Hair: none

Birthmarks/Scars/Tattoos: He has a scar over an eye and a smaller one on his cheek from being caught unaware while tagging along with adventurers when he was 15. He draws attention away from it with warpaint. He also has a white tattoo on his nose that he got while traveling with his Elezen companion, who like the color white.

Senses: He sees in the dark very well with his Keeper genes, unfortunately as he grew up in very sunny warm places, his wide pupils only made his vision worse in these places. He makes up for this by hearing very well. Any angry squinting is just him not being able to see shit.

Handicaps: CAN’T SEE. No really he probably needs glasses but he hasn’t bothered yet.

Mental Disorders: honestly after everything he’s been through it’s no surprise he’s shown PTSD symptoms

Lovers: Presumably with Haurchefant, though it never really reached any sort of proper status before it was nipped. Seems to have something going with Aymeric or G’raha but whether or not these will truly become something more is unknown.

Occupation: Part time Warrior of Light, Part time Fetch Quest boi.

Work Ethic: He does his best to help people as much as he can in any way that he can. Even if the requests irritate him slightly, he still goes out of his way to try to make people happy.

Wealth Status: Though at this point he probably has more money than the usual citizen due to all the money he gets from helping people, he’s not exactly the greatest at ‘saving’ and ‘budgeting’ which results in him having to pinch gil more often than he’d like to admit.

Past Work Experience: Waiter, messenger, Professional Loitering Child That You Wonder Is Homeless Or Not

Organizations/Affilications: Scions of the Seventh Dawn, Thaumaturge’s Guild (formerly), Archer’s Guild, House Fortemps, Immortal Flames

Education: Barely existent. His mother taught him the very basics when he was 5-7 but he never progressed much past that. Though he learned ‘street smarts’ and enough reading to handle working in a tavern, he mainly relied on others to do that part for him. It isn’t until he joins the Scions that Urianger and Y’shtola improved his abilities greatly, though he’s still behind most of the scions. How the hell he managed to study Thaumaturgy with his basic-ass reading could be anyone’s guess.

Religion: Again, his parents butted heads with Menphina or Azeyma, so out of following his parents he simply prayed to which ever he thought of first. During his times as a Scion, he supposed Hydaelyn was the one he followed but now he’s not sure where he stands with the gods. If anyone asks though, he dryly responds that he’s a born-again Halone worshiper. No one knows if he’s joking or not.

Desires: Because of his less than stellar childhood, he wants nothing more than to keep the family he has now.

Wishlist: at this point he just wants a nap.

Accomplishments: Defeating primals, defeating Ascians, leading revolutions. Y’know. Basic WoL things.

Greatest Achievement: He claims its swimming. Just to tease Alphinaud and Urianger.

Biggest Failure: Despite having done so much, feeling like he’s a failure for not saving people he loved.

Secrets: During his time training as an archer in Gridania, he saw his sister. Though it was only at a distance, and the fact that he only knew her when she was an infant, he just felt it was her. But it was not his place to suddenly show up in her life, so he simply watched her go.

Regrets: Never confessing to Haurchefant. Both of them knew something was there, but Cheng’mei continually thought ‘after this is all over, i’ll say something’ but ‘after this is all over’ never happened and he lost Haurchefant before then. Those thoughts still haunt him to this day as he often has dreams wondering what it would have been like had Haurchefant not died that day.

#INFO DUMP BABEEY #faiz plays ffxiv

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