#I know I’m not funny but I like to think I am💔
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dollishsz · 5 hours ago
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WEIRD QUIRKS BATBOYS HAVE IN A RELATIONSHIP ── .✦
A/n: I can’t stop thinking about batboys who have gen z humor in relationships like please💔 RELEASE ME. Like imagine these fighting crime then laughing while watching TikTok on a random Sunday??
(Tags: batboys x fem!reader weird quirks)
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DICK GRAYSON ── .✦
Emotional Support Golden Retriever BF: Dick will send you a random “I love you” text with 15 heart emojis and the rainbow hearts in one line (ugh DISGUSTING 🤢) followed by “I miss you” five minutes later… even if you’re in the same room. (STUPID MILLENNIAL.)
Chaotic Selfies: He’s the type to send you selfies with the dumbest captions like, “Why am I kinda hot tho?” or “Babe, if you leave me, you’re blind.”
Random Dance Breaks: Dick will randomly break out in TikTok dances in the middle of your conversations. You’ll be arguing about what to have for dinner, and he’ll just hit this (here) saying, “Can’t be mad at this, babe.”
His Comedy Bit: Anytime you trip or stumble, Dick’s like, “Are you falling for me again?” Cue your eyeroll as he grins like he just invented comedy.
JASON TODD ── .✦
The "I Hate Everyone but You" BF: Jason sends you TikToks that scream “us” energy. Think of the “grumpy bf, sunshine gf” trope in meme form.
Trash-Talking Together: He doesn’t even pretend to like people. “He looks like wind whistles through his head,” he’ll whisper to you about someone in a coffee shop, and you’ll lose it laughing.
Petty King: He sends screenshots of your arguments back to you like, “Tell me I wasn’t right tho.” But he’ll also say, “We’re not fighting, I just think I’m funnier.”
Affection, Jason Style: If you’re cold, Jason’s like, “You should’ve brought a jacket,” then gives you his. But only after making a snarky comment like, “This makes me look good, doesn’t it?”
TIM DRAKE ── .✦
The “I Can’t Sleep” BF: Tim sends you memes at 3 a.m. with “this is us” captions. Then he sends another an hour later saying, “No fr, we need to sleep.”
Weird Intellectual Tangents: Tim will randomly look up from his laptop and ask, “Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?” You’re too used to it at this point.
Social Media Detective: He likes your posts so fast it’s suspicious and always is the first comment with “❤️” . “How did you see that in two seconds?” you ask. He shrugs. “I have notifications on.”
Soft Nerd Energy: He makes playlists with names like “thinking about you in the Batcave” or “late-night snack runs with you.”
DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦
Blunt Affection: Damian’s the type to say, “You look ridiculous,” but if anyone else says it, he’ll glare and be like, “She’s perfect.”
Random Acts of Service: He’s not into grand gestures, but suddenly your favorite snack is waiting on your desk, and he’ll just mutter, “Don’t make it a big deal.”
Reluctant Meme User: He pretends he’s too sophisticated for memes, but you’ll catch him smirking at one you sent. “It’s not that funny,” he’ll insist, but you know better.
Sass King: If you call him cute, he’ll say, “I know.” But if you ignore him for too long, he’ll sulk like, “I don’t require your attention. But also, why haven’t you looked at me in 10 minutes?”
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milesworld96 · 1 year ago
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Immediately thought of this during collision
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yoohyeon · 4 months ago
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My goddaughter is 10 today, I again feel old 😭
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pomegranatesarchive · 1 month ago
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Could you do a part 2 to please date my sister in law with max and r getting married?
wedding of the century | max verstappen
part 2 of ‘please date my sister in law’
pairing: max verstappen x reader
summary: one year after charles sets up his sister in law with max, the world is preparing for the wedding of the century.
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, landonorris, and 819,717 others!
maxverstappen1: to be wed 💙
view comments below!
user1: OH SHIT ITS HAPPENING
user2: STAY CALM EVERYONE!! STAY CALM!! STAY FUCKING CALM
user3: charles leclerc found yelling out in happiness, 3:21 AM, monaco.
user4: oh my god
user5: omg
user6: the pictures are so cute 🥹
user7: THAT SHOUDLVE BEEN ME
user8: marrying max? or marrying yn?
user7: BOTH
user9: max waited no time to put a ring on that
user10: AHH IM SO EXCITED
user11: i can live out my wedding fantasies through you guys 🥹
user12: i know charles is freaking out rn
charles_leclerc: oh yes. i’ll be over with the binder in five minutes.
user13: he’s actually at lot more calmer then i expected
yoursistersuser: nope! he yelled for a straight ten minutes after this was posted
user14: yeah that sound more like him…
user15: so happy for you two 🤞
landonorris: so when can i pick up my bridesmaid dress?
maxverstappen1: you mean your groomsmen suit?….
landonorris: i know what i meant
user16: i hope max takes her last name
danielricciardo: how funny would it have been if she said no
maxverstappen1: not funny at all
danielricciardo: tough crowd
user17: ahhhh congratulations!!
user18: NO PLS NO
user19; you have shattered my heart
yourusername: FUCK YOU BEAT ME TO IT
maxverstappen1: YOU TOLD ME I COULD MAKE THE ANNOUNCEMENT FIRST??
yourusername: I LIED I WAS GOING TO BEAT YOU TO IT
maxverstappen1: HAHAH SLOW POKE
user20: these are the two getting married btw
user21: i didn’t want you anyways 😒
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liked by, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 916,016 others!
yourusername: officially a #fiancé! 😾
view comments below!
user22: so it’s real….
user23: why wouldn’t it be real?
user22: idk i was hoping max went crazy and just started making shit up
user24: you know what. hell yeah.
user25: mama a happy future ahead of YOU 💜
user26: CONGRATULATIONS!!
user27: no….
user28: this just broke my heart
user29: so happy for you two 🥹
user30: if anyone deserves this happiness, it’s you!! congratulations 🎊
oscarpiastri: oh he wasn’t kidding
oscarpiastri: you said yes?…
yourusername: i cannot deal with your negativity today oscar
oscarpiastri: IM JUST SAYING
oscarpiastri: you said yes?…
user31: let’s all say thank you charles!!
charles_leclerc: YES THANK YOU CHARLES! WE ALL THANK CHARLES!!
charles_leclerc: and too think they all called me crazy for setting them up!
charles_leclerc: HA
charles_leclerc: and to think…
user32: you’re talking to yourself babe
landonorris: i can’t wait to pick up my bridesmaid dress
yourusername; we talked about this lando
landonorris: i know 😔
user33: does this mean lando isn’t a bridesmaid? because i would KILL to see that man in a dress
user34: HELL YEAH!!
user35: true love, rock on 🤘
user36: 50 percent of marriages end in divorce
user37: genuinely, why would you say this
user36: i’m a hater to my core
user38: no you’re a bitch to your core
user39; oh damn
yoursistersuser: love you babe 💜 but pls tell charles he can calm it with the wedding planning
yourusername: and you think he’ll listen to me?
yoursistersuser: no, but it was worth it a try 💔
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liked by, yourusername, maxverstappen1, and 720,015 others!
charles_leclerc: it’s always hows the wedding plannING? and never hows the wedding plannER? 😕
view comments below!
user40: nobody gaf how you are, WHENS THE WEDDING?????
carlossainz: when’s the wedding?
user41: you signed up for this buddy, when’s the fricking wedding???
oscarpiastri: when’s the wedding?
user44: uh huh, uh huh, yep totally agree! when’s the wedding?
user45: who cares, when’s the wedding?
user46: i don’t care, when’s the wedding??
landonorris: when’s the wedding?
user47: don’t give a shit, when’s the wedding?
user48: chop chop wedding planner, when’s the wedding????
danielricciardo: when’s the wedding?
user49: OMG CHARLES NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, WHENS THE WEDDING????
user50: shut up when nobody asks, when’s the wedding????
maxverstappen1: when’s the wedding?
user51: boy who asked? when’s the wedding?????
charles_leclerc: I WAS GOING TO ANNOUNCE THE WEDDING DATE. BUT YOU SICK FUCKS DONT DESERVE IT! SO FUCK YOU ALL!!! YOU WONT KNOW WHEN THE WEDDING IS!! HA HA HA. LOSERS.
user51: charles wait we were joking
user52: don’t pmo
user53: DONT BE SUCH A BABY!!! WHENS THE FUCKING WEDDING?
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liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz, and 1,027,017 others!
maxverstappen1: i’ve reached peak happiness
view comments below!
user53: you are fucking kidding me
user54: CHARLES I WILL KILL YOU
user55: WHAT
user56: WHEN
user57: HOW
user58: WHERE
yourusername; 💙💙
user59: BUT YOU JUST PROPOSED??? LIKE THREE MONTHS AGO
user60: no, you guys are actually so fake for this
user61: wow, i can’t believe this
landonorris: congratulations!! i still think me as a bridesmaid would’ve been amazing but….
maxverstappen1: let it go lando
landonorris; FINE
user62: charles when i find you
user63: i say we all kill charles on his birthday
user64: how could you guys do this to me??
oscarpiastri: loved the shrimp! 🦐
user65: THEY HAD SHRIMP
user66: charles planned a whole wedding in 3 months???
use67: that’s actually so impressive
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liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, user68, and 927,518 others!
yourusername: i win! 👰‍♀️
view comments below!
user68: you’re actually fucking kidding me. charles leclerc when i find you
user69: not to much now, he did plan this in 3 only months
charles_leclerc: THANK YOU!! HOW ABOUT SOME APPRECIATION FOR MY PLANNING
user70: stfu. it’s your fault non of us knew when the wedding was going to be
user71: these pictures are so cute 🥰
user78: living through you guys rn
user79: someday i hope to be married to someone who loves me as much as max loves yn
user80: con😭gra😭tula😭tions😭
user81: so happy for you guys!!! i will go kill myself now!!!
user82: THAT SHOULDVE BEEN ME
user83: that man did NOT wait to put a ring on it
user84: if he wanted to, he would
user85: let this be a reminder to women that if someone wanted to marry you, they would!! congratulations 💙
oscarpiastri: loved the shrimps 🍤
user86: we get it oscar
oscarpiastri; no. you don’t. the shrimp were delicious.
user87: don’t brag
oscarpiastri: i’ll brag all i want. you can’t do anything about it because i had the shrimp and you didn’t 😹
user88: oh damn
user89: someone’s passionate about the shrimp…
yoursistersuser: love you to the moon and back 🌙
yourusername:💛💛💛
charles_leclerc: i’m hearing a lot of ‘love you’ and ‘shrimps’ but i’m not hearing enough ‘thank you charles for planning a beautiful wedding in 3 months and taking time out of your very BUSY racing career to make sure my wedding was amazing’
yourusername: don’t act like you didn’t beg me to let you plan the wedding
maxverstappen1: yeah, me and yn were fine with eloping
charles_leclerc: please guys, no need to thank me! it was my pleasure ❤️
oscarpiastri: the shrimp were great man
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liked by carlossainz, maxverstappen1, user90, and 710,761 others!
charles_leclerc: since no one else will say it 😒 thank you charles for planning a beautiful wedding in 3 months and taking time out of your very BUSY racing career to make sure my wedding was amazing
view comments below!
user91: i’m still pissed at you for not telling us when the wedding is
user91: it was a beautiful wedding tho
charles_leclerc: thank you charles!!
charles_leclerc: of course charles!!!
charles_leclerc: beautiful work!! especially with the very short time you were given
user92: maybe we shouldn’t let charles plan anymore weddings, it looks like they’ve drove him insane
carlossainz: i look gorgeous
oscarpiastri: the shrimps were chef kiss 🤌
landonorris: what is with you man?
georgerussell63: are you still drunk?
user93: charles posting more photos then the actual people who got married is so funny 😭
user93: it really sums up their relationship
user94: beautiful wedding planning charles!! 👏
user95: how much do you charge??
user96: i still can’t believe yn and max got together, engaged, and married in less then 2 years
user97: i bet she’s pregnant
user98: WOAH
user99: where tf did that come from
user100: or maybe they just love each other??? not everyone waits years and years hoping that their shitty bf will propose to them
user101: oh! okay!
user102: you ate those decorations up charles
user103: the flowers??? gorgeous
user103: if yn and max ever divorce, i will kill myself
oscarpiastri: great shrimp 🥰
user14: what tf is wrong with you
. . .
thank you fo rrequesting!!! life’s been busy but i hope you guys didn’t forget me 🩶
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wonysugar · 2 months ago
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don’t modify | jang wonyoung
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♫⋆。♪ ₊˚��� ゚. everyone adores you (at least i do) — matt maltese
synopsis : everyone knew jang wonyoung had standards, but you were afraid you didn’t meet them like she initially expected you to.
pairing : stuco!wonyoung x gf!femreader
genre : smut, it’s kinda sweet i think
tags : wlw, hurt/comfort(?), fem!reader starts doubting herself, self-esteem issues, yn overthinks everythingg, YN YOU’RE GIRLFRIEND ENOUGH, <//3, couplez are very present haiii, i care them so much, jiwon is stewpid (affectionate), and rei lives for it, LESBIANS, worried gf wony, she loves yn guys, GUYS, now onto the sex, semi-public sex, so risky sex, ooouh scandalous, fingerfucking, making out, LOTS of it, kinda body worship, clit play
warnings : this fic contains self-esteem issues and lack of confidence, be warned :]
word count : 4,8k
a/n : heyyy… DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THATTT I’VE BEEN BUSY💔💔i’m trying to work on as many fics as i possibly can when i have free time, this is one of them<//3 i hope you like it, i personally don’t know to feel about it butfkdmfm yeah
i also kinda didn’t proofread this; it’s almost 2 am as i’m typing this out and i’m EXHAUSTED,,, if you see mistakes of any kind just please ignore,, for my sake
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man, student council really was no joke.
sitting at the same table as your girlfriend, wonyoung, and her peers, you could feel the undeniable tension in the air. 
this was originally gonna be a double date, but it very quickly turned into a last-minute student council meeting, for some unknown reason. you weren’t part of said council, therefore had no clue what the hell they were on about this entire time. all this talk about budget, organized events, it all made you dizzy. the only thing that was keeping you somewhat calm was wonyoung’s warm presence and the slow jazz music that was quietly playing from the vintage jukebox, the one sitting in a corner of the place. 
you accompanied your girlfriend thinking this was going to be a cute opportunity to meet the two other girls! yknow, knowing that they seemed to be very close friends of your girlfriend’s, you figured it would’ve been nice to get to know them but it now just mostly feels like you infiltrated a top secret reunion that no one else could know about. 
and the funny thing? you were already somewhat nervous to meet other student council members in the first place, and this wasn’t helping. now, it’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but the first time that you met your significant other… yeah, you were mostly intimidated by her beauty and maturity, but also by her status in the school. it’s almost like you felt bad about crushing on somebody as influential on campus, let alone eventually dating her. so, i guess you could say meeting anybody equally as important as her fellow stuco members was something that made you rather anxious; what if they thought of you as clumsy? dumb? or even worse, not good enough for their president, their best friend?
quickly interrupting your train of incredibly messy thought, the blonde girl, whose name you don’t quite remember, spoke up. 
“nevermind any of that! we came here, on a week-end, with the intention to relax, to have fun and to finally take a breather from everything stressful that’s been going on in our lives, and what did we end up doing? talking about the school’s budget, like we always do. seriously guys?” she watched how the two other girls averted their eyes, clearly guilty. 
she especially noticed how you seemed to be uncomfortably shifting in your seat whilst they were talking, so, giving you a subtle reassuring look, she added on.
“let’s leave it for when we’re at school and not in front of y/n, how’s that sound?”
the two other girls looked at each other, then you, and eventually nodded. just like that, the tension in the air disappeared, and you already felt calmer.
but not calm enough to be confident about meeting your girlfriend’s friends and actually enjoy this small get-together.
however, you couldn’t sit there and pretend that the silence that settled in between all of you wasn’t a comfortable one, especially with the way wonyoung’s hand rested on yours, it was a nice contrast to what was actively going on in your mind.
until it was brutally killed by the dramatic sigh that came from the familiar tall and bright haired girl’s mouth.
“well, i’m pretty damn hungry, aren’t you guys hungry? cause i sure am pretty fucking hungry!“
you internally laughed, acknowledging that she was naturally quite funny. you apparently weren’t the only one to think so, considering how that also earned a small giggle from the almost just as tall girl who you assumed was her girlfriend, since she was practically always looking at her with heart-shaped eyes, regardless of the situation; you could tell when a girl was whipped for another, and it was as clear as day. 
she was more than whipped for the blondie.
“you know jiwon, if you wanted to get up and go order, you could’ve just said that.” she said, smiling at the girl in question and looking stupidly in love. 
“well yeahh.. but it’s essential for everyone to know how famished i am at all times, darling; my hunger is everyone’s problem, i thought we knew this!” was what jiwon said back, her bright smile making the dimple on one of her red cheeks, her left one, even more prominent than usual, since it’s quite literally always visible. that earned a playful eye roll from the other girl as she continued giggling. 
the pet name helped confirm your theory that those two were a thing.
“you guys want anything?” she softly asked, quickly making sure.
“nope! we’ll get something later, thank you rei.” was what wonyoung responded before warmly looking at you, slightly tilting her head in a way that silently asked you if you felt like ordering. you politely declined by shaking your head, hand waving around as you’re doing so, for extra insistence.
after that, they stood up together and proceeded to walk towards the counter to order. their hands were grazing each other’s for a little moment as they talked, almost hesitant. that is, before jiwon gently grabbed the other girl’ hand and intertwined their fingers together, both now having acquired their place in line. smiling to yourself, you also particularly noticed how jiwon, her face now completely red, seemed to trip on literal air as she walked with the reason for that was giggling endlessly. 
man, what a match they were, you thought.
rei, if you remembered her name correctly, was soft spoken and careful with every little thing she said and did, her gentle tone offered some sort of contrast to jiwon’s, who on her part, was louder, more outgoing and spontaneous. being polar opposites, they complemented each other amazingly; from their behavior all the way down to their body language, it was impossible to miss how different yet similar they were.
it seemed as if wonyoung noticed you staring at them from a distance, so she assumed it would’ve been a good idea to give you a little bit of funny context. “can you believe they’re not dating yet?” she asked, looking at them with you.
“wait.. what? they aren’t?” you exclaimed, surprised at the almost unbelievable information your girlfriend just dropped on you. well there goes your theory, “are.. are you sure?”
amused, she shook her head, eyebrows raised, “mmhm.” she said, putting emphasis on the first m. “i swear at times it feels like i hear them gushing about the other way more than i see my own mom.”
you giggled, your eyes darted back and forth between her and the other girls, in disbelief. actually.. the more you looked at them, the more whatever wonyoung said seemed to be true; despite being this close and intimate with each other, there were signs of uncertainty, as if this was new for the both of them. like when jiwon seemed to avoid rei’s gaze whenever she spoke, or maybe even when rei seemed to blush at quite literally anything silly that came out of jiwon’s mouth, which was very often, by the way.
“crazy, i know.” she laughed, staring at the two with you. “i mean, they practically are by now, they’re just not aware of it themselves yet.”
okay yeah, you thought, nodding at your girlfriend, it made sense. 
they did look like a newlywed couple if they didn't know they were married, and that just made it all the more endearing to see, honestly. you were glad wonyoung was friends with such kind-hearted and genuine girls. 
that somehow contributed in bringing back that nerve-racking doubt you had ever since you stepped foot in here, however, and your amusement was once again quickly overshadowed by worry. see, those two seemed so happy with each other, despite not even dating, that it got you thinking about your and wonyoung’s relationship. 
rei and jiwon sort of reminded you of what you and your girlfriend were, way back before you started dating, back when she knew absolutely nothing about you and was instead curious regarding your person, intrigued.
you thought that maybe you didn’t end up exceeding her expectations like she initially believed you would, that you maybe weren’t as interesting of a girlfriend than she would’ve hoped, that she could do so much better than you. 
hell, maybe even the two friends you were staring at prior thought so.
you noticed how wonyoung stared at you with a focused expression, the one she always had on whilst she tried to comprehend something complex, whatever it was. many things elicited that reaction, sometimes it’d be an important yet contradictory school document, other times it’d be an attempt to read something that was written in one of the languages she’s not so familiar with, as rare as that was. 
right now though, she was probably trying to read you, a language she thought she was perfectly fluent in, yet was always met with a hard time understanding completely.
then, upon realizing that you were staring back at her, her eyes widened ever-so slightly and she gave you a warm smile. doing your best in not letting your insecurities spill through the cracks of your face, you smiled in return, as to not potentially worry her.
“we’re backk!” announced jiwon in a sing-song tone, quickly catching both you and wonyoung off-guard as she obnoxiously placed her tray down on the table, almost dropping it. rei’s, on the other hand, was set gently on the wooden surface whilst she carefully sat down on the seat, smiling to herself upon staring at the delicious looking food, completely disregarding the conversation happening right beside her. 
you nodded to yourself, that was truly respectable.
“already?..” asked the tall and brown haired girl in response, wearing a mischievous smirk girl at the blondie before continuing, “and here i thought that we were finally gonna have a break from you.” jokingly groaning and rolling her eyes.
“never gonna happen, unfortunately for you.” jiwon giggled at the banter, grabbing a handful of fries from the tray in front of her before forcefully shoving it into the other girl’s mouth, cutting the latter successfully.
that earned a giggle from everyone at the table, but rei’s tiny and polite laugh was especially noticeable among the bunch. 
turns out she always listens when it’s about jiwon, huh.
“what about you, y/n?” asked jiwon, distracting you from the conversation you were about to engage in with the delicious burger that nestled in between your eager hands. you looked at her, allowing her to carry on, “are you volunteering anywhere?”
all of a sudden, all three different pairs of eyes were on you, and you only. 
you cleared your throat, setting the hamburger down, now having caught a glimpse of what the conversation was actually about. volunteering, huh? is that a thing that student council casually members do when they’re bored..?
you didn’t want to seem like an asshole, but it’s not like you could afford to lie, either, especially not when wonyoung was staring at you so intently, like she was excited to merely hear you talk.
you felt guilty for even placing a word.
“oh uh,” you focused your eyes on the table, unsure of your response and the reaction you would get. “i would, but i barely have the time, unfortunately.. you know, with my job and all..”
“you know,” rei chimed in, shaking her medium-sized soda drink around before taking a sip, “you can say that you don’t care enough, we won’t judge.” she said in a joking manner, earning laughter from everyone at the table.
that was a joke, it’s obvious that everybody would be laughing. 
“ahah, yeah..” 
except you, of course, the best you could do at that moment was crack a slight smile since you were basically stuck inside of your own head by now, contemplating whether they were actually making fun of you in your face or if you were just overthinking everything again, just like you always do.
man, with each thought you had, you felt uneasy. the more they talked, the more overwhelmed you felt, especially if the conversation revolved around you;  self-consciousness wouldn’t even begin to describe it, despite your desperate attempts to sit and actually enjoy the moment, as well as the food in front of you, for that matter.
but alas, that annoying voice in your head had won again. the same voice that always goes on and on about how every person around you thinks you aren’t enough, and that you’re uninteresting and unlikeable, sometimes just plain annoying. 
that got the best of you today.
you reluctantly stood up, which caught the two girls’ attention, but especially wonyoung’s, all of their eyes perking up at you. “where you going?” asked jiwon.
“just the bathroom.” you replied almost immediately, “sorry, you guys can keep talking, i won’t be long.”
you make a beeline for the restroom after rambling out those words, not looking back for even a second. you push the door open once you get there, quickly closing it behind you before turning the sink on and looking at yourself in the mirror. 
get it together, y/n, you told yourself, don’t embarrass her any more than you already have.
you proceeded to splash some cold water onto your face, taking advantage of the fact that you conveniently decided not to wear any makeup today. to call it refreshing would be an understatement, as it helped you gain back composure.
that’s when you heard, and noticed from your peripheral vision, the restroom door cracking open. you turned off the running sink in hurry and turned to the door, wiping the water off of your face with your palm and forearm.
“..you okay?” 
“huh? yeah..” 
she looked at you some more. it was clear that she did not believe you for one second, she therefore locked the door behind you, as to not have anybody interrupt. she was going to ask again, however, she refrained from doing so and let you speak of your own accord.
you quickly understood that she was going to ask again, however, refrained from doing so and let you speak of your own accord. you took a deep breath, then you allowed your vulnerability to manifest itself through your words, just this once.
“..i just feel like.. i don’t know—“ you tried finding the right words to say, but nothing could potentially make the situation any worse than you’ve made it, “are you happy with me, wonyoung?” 
long pause. a very long pause.
she furrowed her eyebrows upwards, “…what?” her voice was now just above a whisper as she processed your words, slightly shaking. despite how subtle it was, you heard the fear in it. “o-of course i am, why wouldn’t i be?”
“i just feel… i feel like you deserve better than me.” you turned away from her, your eyes settling on the mirror before you, once again. “i’m sorry, i don’t wanna be annoying—“
“do i make you feel that way?” she asked almost immediately, cutting you off. her expression giving away her heavy dejection despite her best attempt to mask it. “do i make you feel like you’re not enough?”
hurting you is the last thing she would ever want to do, she’s certain she’d rather die a horrible death on the spot than cause you pain.
“no, of course not!” you responded just as fast, your gaze meeting hers as you turn to face her once again, “you’re great towards me, amazing, even. it’s… it’s just that, i’m scared that you’re doing it out of pure guilt.. is all—”
she, in response, was no longer taken aback. finally having understood what was on your mind throughout this whole outing, her worry evaporated from her face, leaving room for a sympathetic expression, “guilt?” she walked your way and stood beside you, her big hands now cupping your cheeks and holding them in a warm, loving embrace. “if i really was dating you out of guilt, would i really ask you to go out with me to meet my friends?”
“i don’t want you doubting my love for you ever again, okay?” she added, her eyebrows furrowed, now looking practically offended. “i mean, come on, let’s not forget that i have standards.”
interpreting your silence and the way you looked up at her as uncertainty, she continued, smiling at you, “and you exceed every single one; you’re amazing, y/n. you’re gorgeous, so incredibly smart, talented, understanding, so kind and genuine, too. the list could go on, honestly, but most important of all, i love you, i love you so much, and there is truly nothing in this world that’ll be able to change that.. i never, ever, wanna hear you say any of that again. also, never scare me like that? ever?”
“but—“
“nuh uh!” she hovered her index finger over your mouth, silencing you before you could protest, “no buts! you’re perfect and i’m very incredibly lucky to be with you, that’s final.” she insisted, before mumbling to herself, “also, i should probably tell rei to cut it down on the sarcastic jokes, shouldn’t i.. she gets comfortable way too easily—“
“no wony, i know she meant no harm. plus, i would’ve found it funny if i wasn’t so in my own head..” 
she sighed, then nodded. and as corny as it was, that whole conversation was enough to fully reassure you again. you cracked a shy and content smile, to which she happily reciprocated whilst gently stroking your hair with her hand, leaving a loving kiss on your forehead. “i love you, wonyoung, i’m sorry.” you muttered, barely audible. 
she groaned, having heard you, and rolled her eyes jokingly, “will you stop apologizing so much?” before smiling with nothing but love and admiration in her eyes, “i love you too dumbass, so much, and i’m afraid i’ll never stop.” she added, before leaving a small peck on your lips.
you returned the kiss, having wonyoung leaning into you and gently pushing you onto the sink. your hands went on both sides of her face and cupped her cheeks, your girlfriend melting into your touch with a smile immediately before pulling away and looking into your eyes.
now being in the right headspace and paying proper attention to her appearance, you just now noticed how good wonyoung really looked that day; her long brown hair perfectly straightened at the top and being more on the wavy side on the ends, the whole hairstyle being all, quite literally, tied together by a lavender-coloured ribbon. you’ve also noticed that she decided to wear her favorite  navy blue and white striped knit sweater and tucked it under the waistband of her blue denim jeans, incredibly effective in drawing attention to her waist whilst also keeping a cozy look.
she looked beautiful, there was absolutely no doubt about that, but your mind kept wandering further. you thought about how much more beautiful she’d look wearing nothing, before being hit with the sad truth that the two of you are in a public bathroom, and that the latter was very unlikely to happen.
still though, you smiled to yourself as your eyes trained down on her body, getting lost in dirty thought before looking up at her again. once your gaze met wonyoung’s, you watched her lips form into a stupid smile before she spoke again, making you realize how dearly you missed listening to her honey-like voice despite having heard it roughly 30 seconds prior.
“and what are you looking at exactly?” she tilted her head slightly, flirtatiously sliding her hand up and down your sides as she awaited your answer.
it’s crazy how your girlfriend of several months could still manage to turn your stomach to literal mush, every single thing about her made you short-circuit; her mannerisms, the way she talked to you, the way she always put her hands on the right spot, her smile… she was clearly out to get you.
and it didn’t look like that was going to change anytime soon.
“..nothing,” you replied, taking a short pause as you took in all of her features, before adding on, “you look good, babe.”
that pet name made sense again, you felt like yourself again.
“yeah?” she spoke back, now placing her two hands atop each side of the sink that you were already leaning on. her face now mere inches away from yours, your nostrils suddenly invaded by the hypnotizing smell of the sugary, expensive perfume she had on, the one that drove you nuts, “thanks for noticing.”
it took one last dorky smile from her before you officially lost your shit and pulled her back in for a kiss, this one hungrier than the previous, and it didn’t take much for wonyoung to acknowledge the desire you felt for her, either. she’d also be lying if she said she didn’t want you just as much. 
you could taste the cherry lip gloss she had put on previously as your lips danced in sync with hers, 
“wait,” you said in between kisses, “what about the others?”
“oh don’t worry,” she chuckled, wearing a knowing expression and slightly shaking her head in amusement at the thought, “they’re definitely keeping each other distracted. i would even go as far as to say that they completely forgot about us even coming along in the first place.”
as insane as it may sound, you could totally picture jiwon completely discarding her food and endlessly rambling about quite literally the dumbest thing ever whilst rei admired her silently, listening to every word the other girl spoke, entranced as she took tiny sips of her drink, perhaps as an attempt to make the moment last forever.
the two of you giggled to yourselves, seemingly having thought of the exact same thing before the urge to have wonyoung ruin you in this very bathroom hit you once more, only harder this time. 
it didn’t take long for your girlfriend to lean back into you, now making her painfully slow way down to your jaw, then to your neck, planting messy and lazy pecks across the skin. you felt her smiling against you with relish, taking in each and every soft noise that escaped from your mouth. her hands were growing more and more curious by the second, which caused them to explore and slide further down from the spot they initially settled on; your lower stomach and waist. they eventually worked their way up your black pleated skirt, teasing your entrance through the soft fabric of your already damp underwear.
that went on for a long while, so long so that you felt the pool in between your legs growing with each rub of the finger she gave you.
“god, look at you,” she then whispered against your neck, marking it up right to her liking, “perfect, always so perfect for me.” and watching you not-so-subtly grinding your hips against her hand at the words, longing for any sort of friction you could get. 
“wonyoung–” you whined out quietly, using all of your willpower to not make too much noise so as to not let the other people in the restaurant hear you through the closed door. she heard you though, she heard you loud and clear and that was all that mattered to her. she pretended that she didn’t, however, and pulled away from your neck to properly look at you to raise a knowing eyebrow at you. the back and forth motion she was doing on your clothed pussy now much, much slower. “what was that baby?”
“please.” you breathed out shakily, “i need you.. bad.”
“do you now?” she responded, cocky.
you nodded almost immediately.
she let out a tsk sound in response, “couldn’t even wait ‘till we get home, huh?” that confirmation was all it took for her to finally push your panties to the side just enough to be able to spread your cunt and squeeze her fingers into it, which was very wet enough to welcome her digits, she slowly inserted them further in. 
“so impatient, just for me, right?” she whispered, watching you as you nodded once again, this time more keen. she then paused, quietly taking in all of your reactions to her different  words and teasing, more than satisfied, she scoffed, “fuck, i love you—“
she pressed her lips against yours again, eager; she truly couldn’t get enough of you, everything about you was all she could ever want. you couldn’t help but let a guttural groan escape from your lips in response to her two fingers fully sliding inside of you in one swift motion, filling your insides up perfectly. you were undeniably loud, but the kiss definitely contributed to quieting you down, muffling the noise of your pleasure, the squelching sounds of your pussy being the only audible thing occupying the air.
it didn’t take long before she started pumping her fingers in and out of you, finding a slow and steady pace before fully ravaging your core. she quickly pulled away to catch a glimpse of the scene happening on the lower side of things; her hand reaching into your skirt and working its magic. the sight of that worked the both of you up even more, and she would’ve completely gotten rid of every piece of the clothing that’s in her way to you right then and there,
but then again, this was a public bathroom.
and you two were very quickly reminded of that once you heard knocking at the locked door, as well as tussling of the doorknob. wonyoung and you froze, albeit a very polite pair of knocking and turning, it scared the shit out of you.
“y/n? wonyoung? are you guys okay in there?” you heard rei’s easily discernible voice on the other side of the door. your eyes darted between it and wonyoung, mere inches away from you (who also seemed visibly panicked, as well as amused.)
well wonyoung was incredibly wrong in assuming they forgot about you two.
in a silent, mutual agreement sealed by a nod, you came up with a pitiful excuse, fighting back every potential shake of your voice that could manifest itself, “y-yeah, uh, i’m just fixing up my makeup and—“
suddenly, you felt your girlfriend’s thumb pressing on your sensitive and swollen bundle of nerves without warning, and began to rub it in a slow and painful circular motion, wearing a slight smirk while doing so. your stomach immediately dropped at the feeling, and your first instinct was to bite your lip as you tried your hardest not to moan out wonyoung’s name out loud,
obviously, you wanted to, but couldn’t; especially not when rei’s on the other side, worried about you two.
the tall brunette threw you a teasing glance, her expression practically reading ‘go on, keep going.’ so, as a matter of principle, you did. you pulled on her knit sweater in overwhelm, oh so desperate to just cum already and not risk getting caught and definitely kicked out, just imagining that walk of shame gave you goosebumps, “w-wonyoung’s with m-me.”
“okay! oh and also, jiwon wanted me to ask if you were gonna finish your food.” 
as bad as it was, your thoughts at that moment resembled ‘oh my god why isn’t she leaving yet’, especially when your love thought it was an amazing idea to casually fingerfuck you again, her fingers finding their familiar pace and curling against your g-spot perfectly. you kept tugging on her top, mouth slightly agape in surprise and overwhelming pleasure as you tried to come up with an answer.
“yes!” you cleared your throat after having that first word coming out a bit too excited for your liking, then continued, “yes, t-tell her she can have all of the remaining fries s-she wants.” you looked at wonyoung with hooded eyes right after slurring out those words, shaking your head in desperation. not at all in the right state of mind to even listen to her friend’s response who then thankfully left, you mouthed the words ‘i wanna cum so bad.’ to her.
she was gonna keep teasing you, but she decided that you’ve endured more than enough for that day. with her other hand, she settled her palm onto your mouth; she knew how loud you got when hitting climax. a few more pumps of her fingers into your puffy cunt was all it took for you to grip onto her sweater as you came all over her hand, eyes rolled back whilst you moaned and pleaded into her hand, bucking your hips into her and riding your high on her palm, her thumb still pressing your clit.
pulling her slander fingers out of you, she quickly made you taste how good you were and made sure you thoroughly and carefully licked every inch of it clean as you hazily muttered ‘i love you’s in between lick and sucks.
one thing was for sure, sitting back down at the table wearing underwear full of your slick was definitely an element of great embarrassment,
but at least you were now fully reassured that dating you was not at all one for wonyoung.
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lewisvinga · 7 months ago
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awooga | max verstappen x fem! wolff! reader
summary; in which y/n thinks she’s fawning over her boyfriend on her priv, until she realized she just exposed her relationship on her public account
fc; erika hasseur
warnings; suggestive comments, cursing
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03 @c-losur3
note; requested ! awooga is so funny
masterlist !
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend, and others !
yourusername: AWOOOOGA🤤 i wish i can post him on the main all the time looooook at him😩 but i guess i’ll stay on the priv😔😔😔
yourusername: i wanna sit on those thighs tho
yourusername: imma call him, make him my booty call🥴
username: HELPOAKDKSND
username: uhm…..
username: HOLD AWNNNN
username: does toto know??😃😃
yourbestfriend: oh,,,, girl…..
yourusername: i am just a girl thirsty n horny for her bf on her priv😪😪😪
yourbestfriend: that’s the thing… it’s not your priv
username: she doesn’t realize this is her public account IJBOL
username: MAX??? MAX VERSTAPPEN???
maxverstappen1: wrong account, schat, wrong account !
yourusername: oh!
mercedesamgf1: answer the phone, now. - toto
yourusername: oh fuck
this post has been deleted !
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by maxverstappen1, lewishamilton, and others !
yourusername: uhm…. anyways! photo dump w my boyf
tagged; maxverstappen1
maxverstappen1: pls stop calling me ur boyf on the main im scared ur dad will find me.
mercedesamgf1: count your days, verstappen. - toto
yourusername: who gaf what he thinks ur my sexy boyf AWOOGA🤤🤤
georgerussell63: pls stop saying awooga it hurts
maxverstappen1: ur jealous 😂🫵🫵
username: she’s so chill abt accidentally leaking her relationship 😭
username: shes winning the idgaf war
username: off topic but her fits are always😍
username: how did toto and susie react pls tell🤔
yourusername: well susie was amazing! love herrrrrrr🩷🩷🩷🩷
yourusername: my father on the other hand…… let’s just say if we were on the paddock no headphones would’ve been safe 😆😆
mercedesamgf1: was not happy. - toto
yourusername: pls for the love of God make an instagram account i’d be soooo good at managing it!!!😞😞😞
mercedesamgf1: leave max then. - toto
yourusername: then no🙄🙄🙄
maxverstappen1: i was threatened a lot 😄😄
lewishamilton: well! that’s something !
yourusername: look away, lewis, look away
lewishamilton: i’m afraid your roscoe privileges are revoked
yourusername: NO PLEASE NOT MY ROSCOE😭💔💔 i know max has cats but please 😔
maxverstappen1: guess i’ll have to make y/n a cat person now😁
lewishamilton: anyways! roscoe needs a babysitter this monday!😆
yourusername: I’M IN!!
username: NOO LEWIS AND TOTOS COMMENTS ARE SENDING MEE😭😭😭😭
username: y/n ur so real for saying awooga to max😩
yourusername: have you SEEN those thighs? AWOOOGA
yourusername: i’m afraid i cannot speak on his thighs any further 🥴🥴🥴🥴
georgerussell63: STOPPP
charles_leclerc: please stop we have children here
oscarpiastri: 😨😨😨
maxverstappen1: the lady can say whatever she wants! 🙄🙄
mercedesamgf1: no she cannot. not when it’s about you. - toto
maxverstappen1: you’re so right, sir! sorry about that, mr. wolff!🤗🤗
yourusername: oh nah my dad got mad max scared asf of him
maxverstappen1: his threats are working, schat, help….😰
3K notes · View notes
arieslost · 7 months ago
Note
ok i don’t know if it’s just me who gets really giggly when it’s late at night but imagine laying in bed with lando and you’re just rambling about smth so stupid that it ends with you two just giggling at nothing. like getting full on stomach cramps from laughing but there wasn’t even anything funny to begin with
anon u and i are the SAME! once its past midnight i always end up becoming a victim of the late night sillies 💔
© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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1:30 am | ln4
you knew you were up too late when you nearly tripped over the loose edge of the blanket you and lando had been sharing on your way back to the couch, and when he had caught you before you could hit your head or anything, you started laughing.
“oh, no,” he’d groaned dramatically. “got the late night giggles already, huh?”
“uh-uh,” you shook your head, even though him saying the words “late night giggles” was enough to make laughter start bubbling up in your throat again.
something always shifted in you when the clock struck a certain hour at night, and lando had only been witness to it a handful of times before you moved in together.
now, you’d managed to get through the rest of the movie the two of you were watching without laughing, even if it meant biting your lip hard and refusing to make eye contact with your boyfriend. it was bad enough feeling his eyes on you every time he wanted to see your reaction to something that happened on the tv. making eye contact would just take you out entirely for no reason whatsoever.
which is why you think you’ve successfully avoided making a fool of yourself when you’re both finally laying in bed with the lights out at the fine hour of 1:30 in the morning.
“you’re so far away,” lando grumbles, dragging your body into his so his one arm is around your shoulders and your face is nestled in his neck.
“better?” you ask, smiling when he shivers as your lips brush his skin.
“mhmm.” he’s quiet for a moment, running his fingers up and down your arm. “you’re gonna come to miami, right?”
“yeah, if you want me to.”
“what kind of question is that, babe?” he cranes his neck in a way that tells you he’s fixing you with a judgy look even though you can’t see each other.
you shrug, feeling the giggles building up again for no reason whatsoever. “i dunno.”
“obviously i want you there, why wouldn’t i?”
“i dunno,” you repeat. “it’s miami. maybe you just wanna party with all your homies.” and just like that, you’re laughing again.
“oh dear god, here we go,” he sighs, pressing his lips together to repress his own laughter as your body shakes against his. “my homies? when have i ever referred to any of my mates as my ‘homie’?”
he sounds so incredulous that you laugh even harder. “oh, you’re so british! i can’t call them your mates, lan. it sounds too weird.”
“so homies is the word you went with? why can’t you be normal and just say my friends?”
“why can’t you be normal and say your friends?” you shoot back, and that does lando in.
“it’s not funny,” he tries to admonish, and it’s entirely true, but it’s a moot point when you can barely understand him through his laughter.
“stop laughing then!”
“you stop!”
naturally, that makes you both laugh harder still, to the point where you have to roll away from him, clutching your stomach from how badly all the laughing is making it hurt.
“i can’t breathe,” lando gasps from behind you.
“stop laughing,” you repeat. “you’re killing me.”
“i think i’m dying,” he continues like he didn’t hear you, and he honestly might not have because your face is half shoved into your pillow in your attempts to stifle yourself.
a few more minutes go by of the two of you absolutely losing your minds before you’re finally able to catch your breath.
“ow,” you whine, holding your stomach. “i think i just grew a six pack.”
“i think mine just became ten times more defined,” lando says, voice raspy from all the exertion on his vocal chords.
“ooh, lemme feel.”
“absolutely not, because you’re going to tickle me,” he grabs your wrist out of thin air. “i know your tricks, baby. i’ve laughed more than enough tonight thanks to you.”
“not my fault you’re weird and british.”
“i love you,” he says sweetly, pulling you back towards him and kissing your forehead. “now’s where you say, ‘i love you too.’”
“i love you too,” you reply dutifully, blindly reaching for his face so you can kiss him properly. “even though you’re weird and british.”
he kisses you again. “i thought it was especially because i’m weird and british.”
you snuggle into his side, now thoroughly exhausted. “please don’t make me laugh more, lan.”
you both know he’s right, of course, but you usually need to have the last word, so he lets you get away with it. he does love you, after all, even though you had him in stitches over nothing at 1:30 in the morning.
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word count: 790
masterlist — join my tag list here!
note: this was sooo self indulgent, like i was laughing as i wrote this because the term “homies” is so silly to me for some reason. also helped me test my dialogue skills!! n e wayz…
requests are OPEN, and my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation!
reblogs are greatly appreciated <33
dividers by @/saradika
tags: @venusacrossthestars @67-angelofthelordme-67 @emails-i-can-send @nelly187 @cixrosie @fangirl-dot-com @sainzluvrr @imheretoread @mellowarcadefun @yourbane @monsieurbacteria6 @c-losur3 @papayatori @ssprayberrythings @namgification @maih23 @evlkking @witchycarmen @ilovethispookie @maxverstappenfan79 @sya-skies @sweatrevenge5436-blog @kimis-gloves @mia-rrrs @decafmickey @customsbyjcg-blog @bigheartsthings @tania2748 @scuderiadevils @iloveyou3000morgan @ctrlyomomma @hiireadstuff @daemyratwst @arian-directioner @evelyn-ny @avg-golden-retriever @likedbygaslyy @vintagefucksstuff @piastorys @jisungstuff @personwhoisther @bernelflo
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formulafics · 1 year ago
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★ THE JPG CHRONICLES | PART 2
Scenario: the long awaited jpg account from everyone’s favorite mclaren reserve driver is here. with her second and third post, yn accidentally strikes some confusion in the fandom.
Pairing: f1 grid x fem!reader
A/N: and the drama begins 🤭 who do you think the bf is? who do you want the bf to be? 👀 hope you guys enjoy!
PART 1 | PART 3 | PART 4
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liked by landonorris, logansargeant, oscarpiastri, georgerussel63, and 234,762 others
yn.jpg user @/oscarpiastri is eepy and hungry
view all 3,421 comments
oscarpiastri idk how to feel about this one
⤷ yn.jpg you should feel honored to be featured on my account :)
formulanorris yn it’s a little past 9 pm…
⤷ yn.jpg sorry my bf was harassing me at that time.
⤷ formulanorris BOYFRIEND?
⤷ gretavanf1 …ain’t no way bro 💔 my wife has a boyfriend
piastrispastry yn said “be there at 9” then showed up at 2 am
⤷ rizzciardo she just like me fr
papayabull does this mean oscar is this weeks favorite boy?
⤷ yn.jpg yes but he doesn’t get full credit. we were going strong and then he hurt my feelings (he said he wouldn’t go out to eat with me)
⤷ oscarpiastri because zak brown, my boss, told me i had to be at work. key words: boss, work.
⤷ yn.jpg you hate me. it’s fine.
logansargeant every day i fear that i’ll be on this account
⤷ yn.jpg your time will come don’t worry
⤷ logansargeant i’m scared
norrisnation ARE WE IGNORING THAT YN SAID “bf”
⤷ sainzchili yes bc she’s silly and probably was joking
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liked by landonorris, pierregasly, alex_albon, daniel3.jpg, and 254,678 others
yn.jpg two posts in one week? 😱 crazy, ik. anyways, here’s a lil appreciation post for the boy who’s taught me all i know about photography. <3
view all 3,458 comments
norrisnation THESE ARE SO CUTE
landonorris i didn’t know you were capable of taking good pictures
⤷ yn.jpg i didn’t know you were capable of being funny - oh. you aren’t.
⤷ formulanorris LMFAO I AM SCREAMING THIS IS SO FUNNY i love yn 😭
norrisnation …is this a bf reveal?
⤷ yn.jpg nah lando is just my bestest friend in the world and i love him
⤷ rizzciardo yn and lando are my favorite friendship :( they’re my kids, i feel like a proud mom
landaurnorris this is a lil TOO appreciative for yn and lando 🤨 i think this is the announcement team
⤷ norrisnation she said no 💔 i thought they’d be cute together
⤷ formulapapaya if you ask me, she and oscar are dating. i’m 100% convinced
⤷ rizzciardo i need a full twitter thread abt this rn or else
⤷ formulapapaya BET. i will literally start working on it now because i’ve believed in oscyn for so long now 🤭
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🏷️ | @jsjcue @treehouse-mouse @renarots @minkyungseokie @raizelchrysanderoctavius
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aestheteangel · 1 year ago
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THIS IS MY FIRST ASTRO OBSERVATIONS POST SO TAKE IT WITH A GRAIN OF SALT LMAO💋💜( I am not an astrologer) :
Venus in the 6th house adore animals, they might be also a bit of a freak about health.
I’m not 100% positive of this but I can tell Neptune in 6th house natives suffer from compulsive disorder about health, on a daily level. I know a person that has this placement, and they overthink about every detail they about to do. 💔
Mars in the 8th house or in Aries OR in Aries degrees tend to have anger issues, they have a hard time dealing with anger when things don’t go the way they want.
Jupiter in the second house have huge appetite, they are obsessed with food and love to try new dishes, even if they are thin.
Moon in the 3th house think with their heart more than their mind. they take everything to the heart, sadly they get offended easily. they are attached to their siblings🥺💜 they also overthink about every little thing. 😭🤷🏻‍♀️
Venus in the 8th house get males attention easily,kind of giving the vibes of “the most attractive and mysterious in the room”(do u guys want me to do a post about Venus in the houses? )
Taurus in the 9th house is a super lucky placement for the areas the house rules , people with this placement are nerds, they get good marks, they lowkey love studying, they travel all over the world , they-
I saw a post the other day and it was about how weird Virgo risings smile in pictures and it’s TRUE 😭😭 they tend to awkwardly smile while staring when you get them a picture🙂🤷🏻‍♀️
I’m sorry but obviously Virgo Venus, Capricorn Venus, libra Venus are the hardest to impress, but when they fall in love, they fall HARD. 🥺❤️ am I right?
As someone who has the Saturn in 11th house.... I have nothing to say but it’s never fair. 🤦🏽‍♀️ like no matter how nice I am I get misunderstood and everyone being rude for no reasonnn??? Such a unfairness placement. 😢💔💔
The intimidating energy lilith in first house gives 😫🖤.
mars In Leo could be the funniest to be around , but don’t try to disrespect them in front of anyone, their mood could switch in a second and get back at you right away 😟🤣also with Scorpio mars, they are not the type to shut down when stuff like these accrue to them🤪🔒.
Neptune in the 6th house makes the native think like “what if - what if “ a lot in a DAILY routine lmao. Sorry I know not funny.
Venus in 10th house are ATTRACTIVEEEE they have a lot of admirers, also a stellium in such a house with positive aspects surely indicates the same thing. Could be also in 5th house. LIT 🔥.
Venus in 1st house gets people to like them for their mesmerizing beauty, innocent like beauty,the vibes they give in fIrst impressions are ADORABLE 🥺I’m not sure but they could use that to get away with things. 🤣😭💗
Are Pluto in the 5th house the obsessive one or the ones who attract obsessive people? 🤷🏻‍♀️(I know the answer lmaoo)
Mars in the 9th house have passion for travel, they are so strict in religious matters, they could find what makes them happy in what the 9th house representatives areas
Moon in the 11th house is such a cute placement , I wish I have it 🥺.
Let’s just agree that moon in libra is such a infinite beauty indicator? Madison beer has it, should I mentions more? justin Bieber , and ME. srsly every libra moon I met have some type of beauty in them wether it’s physically or in the heart, even both! I mean after all their heart is ruled by Venus 😩🍭💗.
Well this is a quick random one, I wrote this in less than 10 minutes cause I’m bored lol so 🤣💜(comment for paid chart readings 💕$)
1K notes · View notes
aouiaa · 6 months ago
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[✶] — YOUTUBER!ELLIE HEADCANNONS
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DISCLAIMERS & WARNINGS — EIGHTEEN PLUS, Mentions of pooping + Cursing (Girl cursing like she just learned) + Mention of hand pics (I think that’s it).
AUTHORS NOTE, took fucking forever to make that image, but i love it. — inspo layout: @andersonfilms :3
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Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who is blatantly honest on youtube. It’s scary.
She’s playing a random indie video game she found on steam, and giving her commentary as usual. Until there’s a sudden cut and she’s now in different clothes than the previous and she goes on to explain why.
“Hey, guys. Sorry, I had to take a massive shit, but guess who survived? This guy!” she says with a comical smile while pointing at herself before unpausing the game and playing as if nothing happened.
But for some reason, Youtuber!Ellie can’t let go that she pooped.
“But yeah, guys, like, shit, that fucker was begging to come out, so I’m sorry if I was acting different. I was clenching my asshole.”
How charming….ANYWAYS.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s videos who have these stupid sound effects or pop-up memes for certain scenes.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie having a resting bitch face when she’s focused.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who cusses too much even in her intro, she’s literally cussing.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who got a warning from YouTube themselves for it.
Imaging Youtuber!Ellie who literally said “Fuck that, I’m not following Youtube’s rules.” and continued cussing until she realized that she was getting less ads on her videos to which she decided to do a test. To see if her subscribers would notice if she did a full video, not cursing.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who’s laughing while reading the comments on the video.
DarthVaderfan101: “Yo, y’all noticed how Ellie didn’t cuss once?”
Quacketyquack12: “Great vid btw no cussing?! THAT’S A FIRST!”
Elliesprettygirl: Sooo when’s our wedding?
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who does eventually swallows her pride and abides by Youtube’s rules.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie whose user is some cringe 2011 based name; Ellieswolfgang.
God, I can just fucking imagine Youtuber!Ellie intro and how it would correlate with the user.
“Yo! What’s up my little wolves! *Queue the wolf howling* We are back with another video and today we’re playing another puppet combo game!”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who thinks it’s too hilarious, and doesn’t change the username. And it’s always funny to see people every now and then comment about it.
Iloveellieswolfgang: “Woah, are we apart of your pack or something?”
Ellieswolfgang: Yeah, if you’re subscribed then you’re a part of the gang.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who has the most funniest responses when replying to fans.
Wolfgangnation: “Yo, Ellieswolfgang! 👋”
Ellieswolfgang: “Yo, Wolfgangnation!”
Dyk3ang3l: AHHHH I LITERALLY JUMPED WHEN I SAW YOUR NOTIFICATION POP UP ON MY PHONE JEHDBSHAS
Ellieswolfgang: Ma’am, this is a library.
les4elliewilliams: So why is your name, Ellieswolfgang?
Ellieswolfgang: I don’t know, les4elliewilliams. Why is yours, les4elliewilliams?
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who wakes up at the asscrack of dawn—her words—to make Youtube videos, and edits them before eight am.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who is known for her out of pocket humor.
“That isn’t a guy! That’s an ass with eyes!”
“GodDAMN, that bitch can lick three assholes from that tongue.”
Imaging Youtuber!Ellie who asks her followers on twitter to send her funny videos or scary videos to react to.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who flinched so hard while watching a scary video a subscriber sent, she fell off her chair.
Gamerpro121: “Surprised she didn’t fall off her chair this time LMAOO
Ellieswolfgang: Literally the lowest point in my life… 💔
Gamerpro121: Oh shit, sorry man.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who has to explain her jokes from time to time because some boomer doesn’t get it.
Ellieswolfgang: No, not actually. 😭 nvm..
Gamerpro121: Oh…OHHHH
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who was shocked when her merch quickly sold out after minutes of it just being released.
“Holy fuck, thank you guys for selling out my merch?! Didn’t expect that shit to happen! Man, y’all attacked it like flies attacking shit!”
Charming as always…
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who sometimes blogs, showing her day to day life, going to the gym, running errands, rating foods from restaurants, etc.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who reacts to edits her fans make of her and is also shocked how many people love her hands.
“Woah, fuck youtube, Ima start selling hand pics. Missing the real bag here.”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who collabs with her best friend Jesse, playing GTA, Minecraft, cod, and whatever games that her subscribers suggest since they love their dynamic.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s fans who love her dynamic with Jesse because they’re always talking shit to each other.
“You dumbass! That guy was right in front of you!” Ellie yells at Jesse who just got them killed during a 1v1 on Fortnite.
“How is this my fault? It’s not my fault, you suck!”
“Says you! A blind three year old can play better than you.”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who makes a video reading hate comments.
Allthegirlslove: “Ellie looks like she smells like shit!”
“Well…Allthegirlslove, new flash, All the girls don’t love you because they’re too busy watching my videos.” She says with a smirk, “And new flash,” she stops and sniffles herself, “I just shower before making this video, thank you very much.”
The video cuts and starts again of her showing the cologne she uses, “This is what I use, buy one and spray it in ya ass!”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who actually dresses to impress when she’s about to record a new video.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who has her serious moments on the channel and that’s when the true love and support come into light. And she is truly grateful for the fans who can put the joking aside and just be there for her.
Youtuber!Ellie who genuinely loves how far her channel has come since she first started, and genuinely appreciates everyone who helped her meet her milestones.
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FIRST PART - NEXT PART
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TAGLIST ; @dyk3ang3l, @elliesprettygirl, @les4elliewilliams, @ellies2fingers, @r3starttt, @slut4mascss, @marsworlddd, @bready101
ELLIES TAGLIST ; @herelieskrisy, @mikellie, @slaysksmska, @mina-281, @teawithnosugar, @kitkatkittycat111
416 notes · View notes
userlando · 1 year ago
Note
i am a starved woman with all the Lando content and.... the selfies ah... please if you can write some soft smut with him idk lazy riding him under the sheets while saying something funny, laughs interrupted with moans and all that intimate sex im weak for ma'am
ohhhh my god PLEASE I am a weak woman 💔
rustling sheets (1.7k words) lando norris/fem!reader fluffy smut nsfw
“Behave.” Lando says it lowly, jokingly with a sly smile on his lips that drives you just a little nuts.
You pout and pull your hand away, placing it in your lap as you continue staring at him. Maybe you’re hoping for him to finally give in, to disregard the fact that your hotel room is adjacent with George and Carmen and that management had managed to find a five star hotel for the entire grid to stay at, with the thinnest paper walls to ever exist.
Just a moment ago, you could hear the buzzing coming from George’s electric toothbrush and he’d already pounded his fist against the wall when you laughed a little too loudly at Lando’s ridiculous wet hair when he’d stepped out of the shower.
You’d tried to initiate sex two times now, but Lando had found your advances too funny to give in and so he’d made it his mission to give you the female equivalent to blue balls. Truth was, he was also a bit weirded out that you could hear everything through the walls because he made a lot of embarrassing noises when he was busy getting his rocks off.
Lando was loud and so were you, even if you claimed that you weren’t, and he wanted to be able to look his colleague in the eye tomorrow morning without thinking about how George knew what Lando sounded like when he came.
You were getting harder to resist though, sitting beside him in bed and looking so beautiful that he had to almost fist his hands to keep from reaching out to you. You were only in your pajamas, cotton blue ones that he was tempted to rip off of you because you were pouting. Like you'd reached for the cookie jar and he'd slapped your hand away.
He couldn’t see it, eyes staring a little too hard at his phone screen like he was reading something very interesting but he could very much feel your eyes boring into the side of his head.
“Lando?” You asked, the softness of your voice breaking the silence and Lando grunted.
“Yes, baby?” He tried to sound indifferent, casual and cool. Like he wasn’t growing hard at the gentle touch of your soft thigh against his.
You smirked, knowing that he was close to breaking his resolve because you could see the tips of his ears turning pink.
“Finding anything interesting?” You asked innocently and Lando glanced at you a little questioningly. You nodded your head at his phone in his hands.
“Oh.” He heaved a sigh. “Yeah, just reading some comments from fans on today’s quali.”
As if that’s more interesting than you. You almost rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t keep the sigh from escaping your lungs as you sat up in bed, tucking your legs under you with your body positioned in front of him. Lando wasn’t even sparing you a glance, and you wanted to get back at him so bad that you didn’t even give it a second thought as you hooked your fingers under the hem of your shirt and yanked it over your head.
Lando made a noise in his throat that sounded a lot like a dying animal grasping for its last breath, and you blinked at him in mock innocence. His eyes were as wide as saucers, unblinking as he stared at your tits unashamedly.
“What are you doing?” He asked in a whisper, voice high and cheeks flushing a pretty pink.
“What?” You asked, looking down at your chest like you couldn’t figure out why he was reacting the way he was. “I’m warm, and you know I hate sleeping with a shirt.”
“No you don’t.” Lando said immediately, because you almost always slept without trousers but not a shirt. You knew he was a boob man, and fuck were they looking good right now.
His resolve broke and he was just about to toss his phone to the side and reach for your waist when you sighed dramatically, clambering to pull the covers over you and settle into bed. Lando stared, perplexed when you turned your back to him.
“Well, I am now.” You said. “I’m going to sleep now, can you get the light, honey?”
Lando narrowed his eyes at the back of your head, because honey? Really? You were really playing with him now and he didn’t care one bit that your antics seemed to have the desired effect on him, dropping his phone somewhere and scooting down on the bed. He could spot the smile on your face when he spooned you, pressing his entire front body against your back and resting his chin on your shoulder.
You wiggled a little, feeling his hard on against your ass and Lando opened his mouth to bite your shoulder in retaliation. It made you squeal with a laugh, squirming to get away from him but he had an iron grip on your body, arms tightening to keep you in place.
“I changed my mind.” He rasped in your ear and you giggled when he nipped the sensitive skin under your earlobe.
He tugged lightly on your torso until you turned around, raising your head up to press a kiss to his lips. Lando exhaled through his nose, a delighted noise against your mouth as he pried it open in order to taste your tongue.
You pushed on his shoulder in a silent request to lay down, making an effort to straddle him and sit up but the covers got all tangled up with your legs and it set Lando off into a fit of laughter.
“Don’t laugh at me! I’m trying to be sexy.” You tried to pout but the smile on your face was hard to keep at bay because your boyfriend’s laughter was too contagious.
“Aw, baby.” He grinned, cheeks flushed as he reached for your head and brought you in for a kiss. “You’re still sexy to me.”
“Really?” You asked, like you weren’t straddling him and feeling every inch of his half-hard cock against your crotch. He must’ve had the same thought because his hips jutted up, making you gasp at the unexpected sensation. “Okay, I believe you.”
“Good girl.” He said, looking all too smug but he looked wildly hot as well and you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad when he tugged on the waistband of your shorts. “Now, take these off so I can fuck you silly.”
You scrambled to get them off, struggling with how you were sitting on top of Lando but he was nothing if not patient, holding back laughter until you were finally sat naked and pretty on his lap. His hand wandered down between your spread legs, fingers touching the wetness of your folds and pinching your clit just to hear you whimper.
Lando couldn’t take his eyes off of you as he got his fingers inside of you, stretching you out and allowing you to ride his fingers for a bit. You were in your own world, gasping and moaning beautifully for him with your torso all stretched out and tits on display. He blew out a breath, deeming you stretched out enough because if he waited for a moment longer, he was sure he’d blow in his joggers.
You pouted a little mournfully when he slipped his fingers out, but Lando didn’t miss the way your eyes lit up when he pushed his joggers and underwear off to get his cock out. He spit in his hand and slicked himself up as best as he could, but you were way more impatient than he was and it showed by the way you gripped him in your hand and guided him to your hole.
The moan you let out made Lando’s chest clench in absolute need, feeling him stretch you deliciously and you hunched forward to place both of your palms on his chest. The skin there whitened as you dug your fingertips into it, taking him to the base and quivering at the stretch and burn from the lack of lube.
You loved it though, moving your hips to establish a rhythm but Lando was quick to still you with his hands on your hips. You leaned your head forward to look down at him, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
“The bed is creaking.” He whispered, eyes a little glossy but wide. You laughed, grinding forward and immediately stopping when the bed gave off a protesting groan that you'd failed to notice earlier. “Fuck’s sake.”
You clenched around him, gasping when his hands dug into your hips.
“Don’t fucking do that.” He hissed, a desperation in his voice that made you smile.
You did it again, this time putting a little roll to your hips that had Lando’s eyelids fluttering shut as his eyes rolled back. He pressed the back of his skull against the pillow, the stretch of his exposed neck straining as he struggled to hold in his groan.
“What do you expect me to do?” You frowned, glancing at the floor beside the bed.
Lando followed your line of vision, eyebrows jumping like he just had a good idea. The unprepared squeal you let out was loud in the room when he turned the both of you around, pressing you into the bed and sucking kisses into your neck. It had you laughing and squirming under him, hands covering your face from the onslaught of attacks but he was quick to grab your wrists and pin them to the sides of your head.
“Want to shag on the floor?” He asked, lips brushing yours and you grinned up at him.
“That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me, Norris.” You pretended to fawn, giggling along with him when he dropped his weight on top of you.
Your hands quickly found their way under his joggers, gripping his bare arse cheeks in your palms and Lando groaned playfully against your cheek.
“What am I going to do with you?” He nuzzled his nose against your cheek and you smiled.
“I have a few ideas.” You whispered, pulling him against your body. “But we’ll need to be quick, before George puts his fist through the wall.”
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
let's pretend i didn't write this at work. but hey, i hope this is what you wanted anon! i had a lot of fun writing this, let me know what you think. ily all &lt;3
2K notes · View notes
landitolover · 1 year ago
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𝒅𝒖𝒍𝒄𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆 part two | previous part ౨ৎ oscar x reader
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WELCOME BACK TO DULCE HOTLINE!
enter your password: ***********
message list !
y/n l/n
lando norris
message y/n l/n?
yes > no
you have sent a message!
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oscar
heyo
y/n l/n
hi oscar
sooo
ur famous.
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oscar
uh yeah
is it gonna be a problem?
y/n l/n
not at all
😆
oscar
you don’t see me
any differently now?
y/n l/n
uhm
no?
i mean, you’re not taylor swift famous….
oscar
glad about that
must be a bit tiring being that famous
y/n l/n
i’d assume 🤔
if u don’t mind me asking
where do u live
oscar
the uk, for the most part
i travel lots though cause of my job
you?
y/n l/n
i’m living in france for a bit
with my two friends 😁
oscar
that’s nice
i like it over there
y/n l/n
yeah it’s quite alright
oscar
how long have you been
living in france?
y/n l/n
not too long
originally i just came here for a wedding
then my friend bought an apartment while she was drunk
oscar
how does one buy a whole ass apartment
while being drunk 😭
y/n l/n
honestly
i have zero clue
kinda funny tho
tell me more about yourself 🥸
oscar
well it’s my first season in formula one
i’m kinda awkward in person
i started karting when i was 10
i prefer dogs over cats
i like tim tams
sorry i don’t know what else to say……
y/n l/n
rookie season, wowie
i’m also awkward in person dw!!
karting at ten? woww i was eating chips on
my bed and watching austin & ally…
dogs over cats……… immediate no 🌝
tim tams are yummy
oscar
it’s your turn to tell me yourself
y/n l/n
okay okay uhm
I’m in uni atm
i have two cats named cinnamon and sugar
oscar
two cats?
y/n l/n
yes yes
oscar
oh! so uhm
how are u on this fine evening
y/n l/n
🌝🌝
very very good
you?
oscar
that’s good
i’m better now that I’m talking to you
y/n l/n
🫣
you’re a flirt, piastri
oscar
🤔🤔
maybe i am
but you like it, don’t you?
y/n l/n
i do
😵‍💫
oscar
i have to go now, sorry
bye :)
y/n l/n
bye oscar!
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y/n ⛄️
guys
he wants me so bad ong
xienma 🛐
dulce hotline guy?
y/n ⛄️
yes yes
okay so
i know a bit more about him now
xienma 🛐
do tell
madeline 🤺
yes, tell us abt ur man!!
y/n ⛄️
okay so he’s an f1 driver for mclaren
so basically just cars??? it’s his rookie season
he started karting when he was 10
he loves tim tams
he prefers dogs over cats 🌝
madeline 🤺
that’s kinda boring
xienma 🛐
leave her man alone 🤓
but dogs over cats??
what ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN?????
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madeline ⛄️
nah fr
he could POSSIBLY be the father of
cinnamon and sugar 🤔🤔🤔 if he likes
dogs more!!!
y/n ⛄️
dw guys
i can change him 🙏🏼
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LOOK AT THIS GORGEOUS MAN
madeline 🤺
we’ve lost her to a man
xienma 🛐
aww he’s a cutie
i’m a ynoscar truther!!
madeline 🤺
i guess i’ll support u guys
just don’t let this be like ur old situationship
xienma 🛐
i second that
y/n ⛄️
i won’t guys, trust!!
he seems like a sweetheart
xienma 🛐
well, i hope everything will
work out for you guys 😁
just want u to be happy!
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oscah 🦅
lando
norris
landoh 🤓
yes ?
oscah 🦅
i am so heavily attracted to her
landoh 🤓
dulce hotline girl???
oscah 🦅
obviously
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look how beautiful she is
landoh 🤓
did you insta stalk her mate
….🌝
oscah 🦅
uhm
🤣🤣!!
maybe i did
she has two cats
cinnamon and sugar
landoh 🤓
wow mate
are you going to be a father to cats 😱
oscah 🦅
uhm no
i dunno
🤔🤔
landoh 🤓
how does she feel about like
you being famous
does she care?
oscah 🦅
no I don’t think so
she said i wasn’t “taylor swift level famous”
landoh 🤓
thank fuck you aren’t though
that’s good that she doesn’t really mind
about you being famous 🤔🤔
oscah 🦅
i agree
oh my god
oh my hod
landoh 🤓
what ????
oscah 🦅
she messaged me
oh mgmgod
-&;@2&;@?&2&/_*{+~£|¥_£|¥_
bye
bye
TALK TO U LATER
landoh 🤓
I’m actually SICK
seeing u obsess over a girl
this isn’t you babe 🥺🥺🥺
what happened to landoscar
😭😭💔💔
Read 15:00
WELCOME BACK TO DULCE HOTLINE !
YOU HAVE ONE MESSAGE
y/n l/n has sent you a message
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y/n l/n
hi oscar 🤓🤓
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oscar
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y/n l/n
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oscar
hi y/n :)
also, you’re sending me all these memes of myself
so does that mean i’m in your camera roll?
y/n l/n
woah
oh
yeah you kinda are.. taking over my camera roll
didn’t even realize
oscar
wow are you already obsessed with me?
y/n l/n
uhm
i don’t think so, piastri
maybe YOU’RE the one obsessed with me!!
oscar
are you trying to use reverse psychology?
clever girl
y/n l/n
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clever girl?? i’m blushing
oscar
wasn’t my intention but i’m glad
bet u look cute
y/n l/n
you’re insane for saying that
lord.
oscar
sorry sorry
y/n l/n
yeah no it’s fine
just !
😵‍💫🤔
oscar
quick topic change..
you know why i prefer dogs over cats?
y/n l/n
hm no
why?
oscar
cause i’m scared of cats
y/n l/n
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how could you be scared of this baby
oscar
okay well i’m not scared of your cat in specific
just other cats…
y/n l/n
oh so ur biased 🙄
oscar
yes
well
no?
maybe
y/n l/n
you’re never meeting my cats.
oscar
wait no
trust i’ll change for them
y/n l/n
you know what’s funny
you kinda look like a cat yourself
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oscar
oh my god
wait
why do i kinda look like one
y/n l/n
oscar pastry is a cat confirmed
piastri***
oscar
🥐
i’m oscar pastry fr
y/n l/n
wowie 🤓
okay i’m gonna go eat now
#dinner time
oscar
alright, bye
have a nice meal
y/n l/n
byee!
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y/n ⛄️
HIIIIIII GUYSSSS
xienma 🛐
someone’s happy
what’d he do now
y/n ⛄️
he’s just so
sooooo 😍😍
madeline 🤺
we lost her
she’s down deep
xienma 🛐
i think they’re cute idk
pretty good looking couple imo
y/n ⛄️
i think so too, i might be a little biased though…..
do u guys think that men obsess over
girls the way we obsess over them
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like this better be him 🤣🤣🤣
xienma 🛐
GIRL 😭😭
madeleine 🤺
no cause real shit
i wonder if they get giggly n shit
y/n ⛄️
FORREAL U GET ME!!
madeleine 🤺
like do they just go :3 when we message them
xienma 🛐
totally
y/n ⛄️
he totally goes like that when i msg him
he’s so cat coded idk what to tell u guys
madeline 🤺
no wonder y u want him so bad
y/n ⛄️
🌝🌝
xienma 🛐
i’m ynoscar truther forever
madeline 🤺
they barely kno each other 😒😒
THEY MET ON A DATING APP
xienma 🛐
okay girl just cause your little situationship
didn’t work out, doesn’t mean u have to be a hater..!
madeline 🤺
don’t bring that shit up again……
yall fake
y/n ⛄️
woah man
I didn’t say anything
i’m eating dinner!!
and mad, what if he has a cute lil friend 🤫
i’ll set u up 🔥🔥
madeline 🤺
our wag era 😈
y/n ⛄️
ok bye i’m leaving
😴 nap time
xienma 🛐
dream abt oscar xx
Read 16:20
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౨ৎ sorry i didn’t post anything about dulce hotline yesterday, i just couldn’t think of anything to write 😭 i might possibly do a double update, so keep a lookout for that!
taglist, @d6za1 @amoosarte @ch3rryknots @moneygramhaas @alessioayla @cherry-piee @chasing-liberosis if you wanna be added, please comment ౨ৎ
525 notes · View notes
meowzfordayz · 2 years ago
Text
on the phone during (; — kokushibo, muzan
Author’s Note: no normal thoughts allowed! 😤 Only 😏 thoughts! 😂
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on the phone during (; — kokushibo, muzan
Kokushibo x Reader, Muzan x Reader
Word Count: ~900
CW:  18+NSFW, degrading language, Fem!Reader, implied bondage, overstimulation, squirting
Emergency Request Fulfilled: I was wondering if you write for Muzan and Kokushibo. It might be crazy, but it could be funny. The reader is Sanemi’s sister. Maybe some headcanons of Muzan and Koku making love with the reader, while she’s in the middle of a call with their brother? They try to stay focused but our evil pals make it hard👀❤️
~faqs~
Immediate disclaimer that these headcanons are going to be #short bc they’re for an emergency request
(I specify in my faqs that the trade off for emergency requests being prioritized is that they’re also consequently ~shorter)
Anywho, onto the spice 😌
Update 1: jk, it’s mostly crack oops 😅
Update 2: jk, I got carried away writing Muzan’s 🥵
KOKUSHIBO
—Alright, so I just read a bit of Kokushibo’s backstory on wiki (which is what I often do when writing for unfamiliar-to-me/new characters #don’t mind me being an anime only gal)
—And DAMN
—I knew it was tragic, but like *le sigh* 💔
—I digress 😶
If you were on the phone w/ someone Kokushibo might deem ~competition, then he’d def be cocky and sly and merciless #riperoni your pussy as hell 😎
But since it’s Sanemi aka your brother?
Kokushibo’s mostly embarrassed 😖
“Hang up! Hang! Up!” he hisses into your ear, thrusts stuttering at the sound of Sanemi’s irritated grumble crackling through your phone, “Why did you even pick up?????” 😭
“No, Sanemi,” you grin faintly, biting at your tongue to suppress a breathy whine, “I’m not busy.”
“You’re having sex,” Sanemi scoffs plainly, markedly unimpressed, “Is this payback for when you walked in on me and-”
“YOU TOLD ME YOU’D BE OUT FOR THE NIGHT.” 😡
“Plans change. Sorry our house was closer.”
“Sorry you couldn’t wait to get your dick wet,” you snap, “Sorry you couldn’t text me a heads up so I could stay the fuck away!”
“WELL YOU GOT YOUR REVENGE, SO END THE FUCKING CALL.”
“Why didn’t you end it when you realized what was going on?” you smirk
“Because I wasn’t 100% confident,” he growls, tacking on darkly, “Until you confirmed my suspicions, of course,” scowling to himself, “And I’m trying to be less of an asshole and not just randomly hang up on you.”
Meanwhile, poor Kokushibo’s cock is slowly but surely softening, his hands splayed awkwardly on your ass 🫠
“Aww Sanemi, that’s actually really thoughtful of-” 🥺
*Sanemi randomly hangs up on you* 😞
“Are you satisfied?” Kokushibo pouts immediately, chest pressing hot against your back as he leans over you, practically batting your phone out of your hand, “I need help.”
Giggling, you roll your hips backward, chin turning to peer at him, “Thanks for your patience.” 😇
“Don’t thank me yet,” he mutters, watching the arch of your spine, thumbs digging into the plush of your sides, quickly recovering from his momentary loss of arousal, voice lowering smoothly, “You’re going to help me, hm?”
“Am I?” you hum nonchalantly, clenching your walls around him, laughing at his unabashed groan
“You certainly are,” he murmurs, always so poised before the storm
You know you won’t be answering any more calls when he pushes your face into the mattress, other hand slipping between your thighs
“That’s right sweetheart, you’re going to help me cum with those pretty, needy orgasms of yours.”
MUZAN
—I did my best to write Muzan ~not entirely toxic, but like, well, it’s Muzan lmao 🥴
Needless to say, Muzan and Sanemi do not get along 😬
But, again, since Sanemi’s your brother (vs a potential/past lover), I don’t think Muzan would be particularly fond of you talking on the phone w/ Sanemi during sex 🤨
Perhaps a case of butt dialing would be more likely?
Or maaaybe
Sanemi’s calling you repeatedly (for stupid, sibling shit lol)
But you’re in no position to answer 🫢
No position to answer = tied spread eagle to the bedframe w/ a vibrator held firmly—by Muzan, obvi—against your clit, bedsheets already damp from your sweat and earlier orgasms
And eventually, Muzan loses his patience 🙃
Sure, he could just relocate your phone
Or break it
Or put it on Do Not Disturb
But he already dislikes Sanemi, so he might as well put him in his place (???)
—Muzan, Do Not Disturb really would’ve solved the prob, but #you do you 🤠
Still holding the vibrator against your clit, Muzan reaches for your phone 😵‍💫
“Hello Sanemi, most people give up calling after their second attempt.”
Your head lifts when Muzan says Sanemi, both intrigued and flustered, but before you can voice your confusion, Muzan pinches your thigh Pay no attention here, focus on cumming for me
“Why the fuck did you pick up?” Sanemi snarls
“Because your sister’s occupied.”
“The hell does that mean?”
Smirking, Muzan glances nonchalantly at your trembling form, your orgasm steadily building as your shiny, swollen clit makes a mess of the vibrator
“Do you really want to know?” Muzan drawls, mouthing a command to you
Cum
Your silent orgasm spills over as Sanemi promptly hangs up (no doubt red in the face), Muzan’s smugness permeating through the bedroom at your open mouth and dazed expression, tears pricking the corners of your eyes from the overstimulation
Bc Muzan’s still holding the vibrator against your clit
“Keep going,” he murmurs, fixated on the pleasure-pain writhing through your body, soft ropes taut as you try (and fail) to escape from the vibrator’s pressure, your strangled wail music to his ears, “That’s it darling, just like that,” his stare fully darkened and in control as you convulse, finally squirting with a overwhelmed scream
Taking pity on you, he sets the vibrator aside, rubbing greedily at your shaking legs, your skin smeared and glistening as he roughly thrusts two fingers into your pussy, relishing the wet, sloppy noise of your essence
“What a filthy cunt,” Muzan grins, “So beautifully wrecked.”
Dw! 😃
You have a safe word in case you actually feel wrecked, and Muzan respects your boundaries 🫡
After all, he needs to gain your trust before he can push them 😃
—WOWIE I did not mean to get so intense for Muzan 🫣
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whyse7vn · 1 year ago
Text
FUCK MARRY KILL -
[ot7 x reader]
Tumblr media Tumblr media
GOLDEN OUT SOON
8 participants - 8 online
———————————
jin: just googled what champagne confetti means and wtf????
jimin: the fact that you had to google that 💀
namjoon: it’s been how long since the song came out?
y/n: wow jin ur really old as hell
💀💀💀💀💀
jin: IM NOT
hobi: bro had to google champagne confetti 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
jin: A LOT of people don’t know what that means
tae: a lot of old people 💀💀💀
jin: can you stop with the skulls
jimin: 💀💀💀💀
jin: i bet jungkook doesn’t even know what that means
jk: i do
why would i say it if i didn’t know it stupid
hobi: jungkook just called u stupid 💀
jin: bye
y/n: i’m turning evil
hobi: yesss feminism 💞💞
jin: how?
y/n: i just am
stay out of women’s business
jk: no guys it’s true she didn’t make me breakfast today 😰😰😰😰😰
yoongi: are you 5? why does she make u breakfast
jk: love
you wouldn’t get it
tae: i love an evil woman
they get me going
if you know what i mean
wink wink
y/n tell them what me you and namjoon did yesterday lol
namjoon: shut up
y/n: if you keep talking i’m going to block
you
tae: baby 💔
she doesn’t mean that guys
jimin: what did you guys do?
y/n: nothing important
hobi: i’ve decided that enhypen are my biggest enemies in life
I HATE THEM
jk: i love jikjin ❤️
namjoon: that was treasure
jk: no
namjoon: ok
jimin: what did enhypen do to you
hobi: exist
i’m not fucking with them
the vibes are off
and there are too many australians
y/n: isn’t it jake the only australian one?
yoongi: why do you know his name
y/n: because i’m nice and remember people’s names
hobi: i’ll literally kill jake like wdym oh naur??? like only i can say that
fucking bitch
UGH
i hate him
jimin: wow ok
namjoon: hoseok be the bigger person here they are kids
hobi: i’m skinny
bigger person?? absolutely not!
jimin: he kinda real for that idk
y/n: LMAO
jin: i’m saying fuck enhypen AND newjeans
hobi: literally
y/n: haters
jimin: NO FUCK NEWJEANS FOR REAL HAD ME DANCING TO ETA
LIKE I’M A MAN
jin: ha
jimin: what’s funny?
jin: 😚
jimin: i literally agreed with you idk why ur trying to fight me rn
jin: i didn’t even say anything
jimin: you didn’t have to
namjoon: ok both of you stop
jk: what if i was a giant meatball
yoongi: that’s nasty
tae: no cuz i get it
are you the meatball or is the meatball you
if you know what i mean
jk: i know
tae: no bro
we know
yoongi: ur sick
both of you are extremely sick
hobi: wish enhypen was sick
with the plague or something
y/n: that’s not nice :(
hobi: i would say i’m sorry
but i’m not
and i don’t lie
i just don’t
jk: guys can we cook rocks
y/n: no
jk: why not
y/n: they are rocks
jk: ok but have you tried
y/n: shut up
jk: yes
hobi: i could so play alexander hamilton
jimin: isn’t that the guy who drives the fast car?
jk: the fast and furious man?
tae: vin diesel????
yoongi: lewis hamilton you fucking idiots
hobi: i’m talking about the founding father
jk: what did ur father find???
namjoon: isn’t that an american thing?
jimin: finding fathers?
y/n: i can find mine
jin: so can i
and last time i’m checked i’m not american
tae: does america think koreans are fatherless?
yoongi: you act like u are don’t blame them tbh
hobi: no guys don’t you know the musical??
jin: about fatherless koreans?
jk: or the car man?
i thought that was a normal movie
did i miss the singing part???
y/n: omg didn’t jimin do a song for fast and furious??
jimin: OMG I DID
namjoon: wait i’m confused
hobi: lin-manuel miranda???
tae: wtf is that
jin: a sauce?
y/n: is that not the lip bite guy
hobi: YES
yoongi: give up hoseok
hobi: i have faith in them
yoongi: don’t
hobi: ur right…
jimin: anyways
tae: thinking hard rn
namjoon: i’m impressed
tae: thank you its the first time i’ve ever done this
i’m fucking with it lowkey
yoongi: go away
tae: can someone ask me what i’m thinking about
jimin: no
tae: since you asked i’ve got a really important question
jk: i’ll answer
tae: no you won’t
hobi: y/n do you want cookies?
y/n: PLEASE
jin: can i have some
hobi: no
jin: :/
tae: y/n
y/n: what
jk: 😍
tae: fuck marry kill
like out of us
rn
this shouldn’t be hard
y/n: ur right it’s not
fuck jin marry hobi kill jimin
tae: just fell to my knees
jimin: kinkyyyy
hobi: 🥺
jin: real!!!!!!!
jk: wait what
yoongi: lol
tae: clutching my chest
namjoon: would you all get a grip
tae: i have a grip on my heart
i’m having a heart attack
ohmygod
it’s fading to black
help me
beep beep beeeeeeeeeeeppp
(i’m dead)
yoongi: thank god
jk: y/n you can kill me yk?
won’t even be mad i swear
like fr
as long as ur thinking of me ha
idm!!!
y/n: but i picked jimin to kill
jk: oh lmao yeah!
you picked jimin
silly me lol
yeah
ur right lol
ha
jimin
yeah
jin: you wanna fuck rn lol?
yoongi: shut up
jin: ur mad
yoongi: i’m not
it’s just a stupid game 😂
jin: EWWW YOONGI JUST USED “😂”
i could throw up
someone kick him
jimin: when you kill me can you do it by strangling me
i feel like that would be the best way to go
namjoon: gross?
hobi: i think we should have a spring wedding that would be SAURRRR cute
y/n: NAURRRR ur so right
jk: ha ha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
jimin: wow he’s insane
jk: i could die better than you
i would die instantly
i wouldn’t fight back
i wouldn’t struggle
i would just die
jimin: the struggling is the best part
namjoon: stop
yoongi: fucking freaks
tae: she’s in love with me i know it
y/n: did you not just have a heart attack?
tae: can you kiss me like yesterday
y/n: absolutely not!
tae: wow u want me so fucking bad
jin: yesterday?
jimin: let’s a have threesome
hobi: bro can’t count
jimin: no
i just don’t vibe with jin fr
jin: ur such a hater it’s crazy this is why she’s killing you
and fucking ME
jk: LOL
LOOOOOOOOOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLL
y/n: guys can we talk about rn gojo pls I’m feeling sentimental
namjoon: who is that?
y/n: sighs looks out window
yoongi: don’t let her start
y/n: gojo was a hero to many a enemy to some a teacher to a few but to me
to me gojo was everything
jin: already don’t care can you come over lol
y/n: you want an in person gojo explanation???
jin: if that is what people are calling head now absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!
y/n: jin i could cry
i’ll be there 😭🙏🏽
tae: me and joon are here
well like more me than joon but he can come if you want
i’m here babe
pls
don’t go to jin
jimin: wtf are you talking about 💀
jk: she didn’t even kill me guys
wow
like
wow
she didn’t even kill me….
hobi: she married me
jimin: ur clearly not on her mind bro
jk: no ur right
why would i even be on her mind anyways
i’m just a stupid idiot that no one loves
or wants to kill
y/n: get a grip
jk: grip gotten
yoongi: ur all dumb as hell
y/n: don’t be mad i didn’t pick you
yoongi: i’m not
jimin: iM nOt
yoongi: she literally killed you stfu
jimin: so?? at least i was on her mind
jk: WHY DIDNT YOU PICK ME OHMYGODDDDDIDJDJJDJJz nxbsjsh
tae: ok but be fr did you forget how to spell my name y/n be honest
tae: my name is tae
y/n: i know!
jk: i thought it was taehyung?
tae: CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP RN WE HAVE BIGGER ISSUES
jk: i’m sorry ur right
no one loves me
hit me in the head with a shovel
tae: ok LOOOOLLL but out of the remaining people who would you fuck?
y/n: joonie 🙏🏽
yoongi: u think ur so funny
y/n: ?
sorry for speaking my truth
jin: literally
tae: NAMJOON FR????
AFTER ALL I DID
and you pick the man that basically sat behind you the whole time
jin: wait
namjoon: taehyung
tae: WHATEVER
jin: waittttttttttttttttttttt
y/n: let’s not wait actually
jk: y/n are you sure you don’t want to kill me
jimin: shut the hell up
tae: AHHHHHHHZHSHSHSUDUDH
UGHHHHSYSZHSSBDBDN
YOU WANT ME
i hate life
you want me so bad
i know it
FUCK YOU
tae left “GOLDEN OUT SOON”
yoongi: wtf
jimin: wow
hobi: didn’t know it was that srs
jin: i have a theory
namjoon: you don’t
jin: no i definitely do
y/n: shut the fuck up
jin: wow u guys are nasty
yoongi: ????
jk: y/n did you change ur mind?
jimin kicked jk from “ GOLDEN OUT SOON”
tags: @piw6n @jvmisvu @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @junghoseokshusband
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giyuusbelovedwife · 7 months ago
Text
I am feeling horny tonight, and decided to satisfy the need myself. I have tests tomorrow 🥰 (it’s 10:45PM rn)
Sub!Modern!Giyuu x SoftDom!Reader
Reader is G-N, but afab 🫶🫶
(This is like my first time trying to actually write something so 🥰🥰😁)
Warnings - idk rn cuz I’m still writing </3, porn w/ no plot (I think?), literally just put modern Giyuu so I could use a normal bed, cum eating/swallowing, reader can give really good head for some reason, I think reader has no gag reflex??…. 😭😭🙏, Giyuu is very needy 😋, giyuu just wants to nut but reader wants him to last a lil longer 💔💔
Not proofread btw 😝
NSFW UNDER THE CUT <3
.
.
.
.
Ah yes, nothing more satisfying than the sight of him squirming in your mouth, all hot and red. A while ago, Giyuu was feeling a little… horny. And like the great person you are, you decide to help him with it. After all, how could you just leave the poor guy with his erection?
“Mmh… love please..ahhh..~” he moaned sweetly into your neck. He sat patiently on the bed, waiting for you to help him. He can’t take much anymore, not while you’re sitting on him and caressing his member through his shorts. “No teasing tonight?” You look down at him and tuck his hair behind his ear. “Mm-mm.. please… please just- g-gh-!~” his body tensed and shook the moment you pressed down on his cock. He desperately hugged and clung to you like a little kid, it just shows how much he needed you, how could you refuse? And just like that, he got what he wanted. “Alright hun, just let me know if it’s too much, ‘kay?” He shyly nods in agreement, his eyes looking down and avoiding yours .You push him to lay on the bed gently, and take his shorts and boxers off, exposing him. Hard from his erection, his dick sprung up the second you pulled his boxers down. The beautiful sight of his cock always excited you, his slim but long shlong (sorry I wanted to be funny)(7in), with that beautiful shade of pink adorned on the tip (#DA8E83). With his back on the bed, his legs slightly spread open, and his head looking up at you, he waits for your next move with flushed cheeks. You lay down and rest yourself in between his legs, your face right in front of his cock. Taking your finger and running it along the shaft of his cock, eventually licking his beautifully pink head. “Hhh… mmh~….please, ‘wanna cum.. ‘needa cum so bad..”He looks at you with desperation, guess there’s really no time to tease. In a split second, you switch from licking him, to letting his cock all the way in your mouth. Flattening your tongue to fit him easier, you look up at him to see how he’s doing, and GOD, he is majestic.
Giyuu’s untied hair resting on him, his head thrown back, his lips curled back into him, and his hand suddenly gripping your hair. The grip was sudden, but so were you. “a-ahhh..~ oh love.. please..~ please make me cu- uHm!-~ ooh!~..” His grip on your hair grew tighter every second. Bobbing your head up and down at a painful but steady pace, you keep him on the edge, wanting you to go faster. Giyuu’s small huffs along with his squinted eyes looking down at you were just perfect. You both know how bad he wants to cum, but will you let him? Of course you will, after all, it’s what he’s been waiting for. “H-ahhh…aah-!” His back arched up beautifully. His legs closing into your head, wrapping you into somewhat of a triangle-choke position. His stomach rises up and down beautifully, his rough hands grip to the sheets in desperation, and his hips start to move and grind against your mouth to get more of the feeling. He needed to cum so bad. The cracks and breaks in his voice sign him as close. “Ahh~! uggmhh-! hhh….oohgodohgodohgod-!~ mmHh!~~” You have to push his legs open because of how hard he’s squeezing around you. His muscle toned thigh look so pretty, shaking and tensing up, all for you~ Adorable, is it not?
(Kms I had to re write the next part cuz I accidentally deleted it bye 💀💀💔😔 All my hard work for nothing smh….)
You then (gonna continue this later it’s 2 am 💀💀 I ain’t boutta redo allat rn)
Edits:
Hi guys so it’s 11:36 PM so I’ll continue this tmr cause I got school and I’m feeling tired😪😢
Erm hi I'm gonna try to write again later cuz last time I lost motivation after I slept 🤓☝️(5/16)
Hi I’m back guys 😋😋 so um I literally can’t find time to write/finish this so uhh y’all’s are gonna have to wait for like another few weeks cuz I am BUSYYYY 😭😭😭🙏🙏 There may be some small updates here and there tho 🥰🥰 (5/25)
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nightcolorz · 5 months ago
Text
Top ten dumb pop songs that you didn’t know were actually written about Part 1, Chapter 4 of Queen of the Damned, The Story of Daniel, the Devil’s Minion, or the Boy from Interview with the Vampire!!!!All the creators of these songs u often hear on the radio actually were inspired bu thus iconic chapter in Anne Rice’s queen of the damned!!! Featuring evidence
Teeth by five seconds of summer (it’s about a guy going crazy over his crazy girlfriend with teeth and blood metaphors 🤷)
ET by Katy Perry (Katy perry is in love with a sexy alien, she wants to be his victim and his lover, she isn’t sure if he’s a devil or an angel. 🤷 he’s from a whole nother world, a different dimension. Just replace alien with ginger boy vampire and it’s basically devils minion chapter by Anne rice)
Your love is my drug by Kesha (daniel molloy said this about Armand but rlly he’s just addicted to his blood womp womp. Ur blood is my drug, laugh out loud)
Addicted by Kelly Clarkson (same as the last one but uses the metaphor of addiction to portray how a fucked up relationship is consuming Kelly. Your love is my drug intense scary version. Devils minion the way Daniel is addicted to that thang)
One way or another by blondie (one way or another he’s gonna find ya he’s gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha. Haha run boy 🏃🏃🏃haha)
Tainted love by soft cell (once I ran to you 🕺🕺now I run from you 💃💃 this tainted love you’ve given, I give you all a boy could give you 🕺🕺take my tears and that’s not nearly allll —-Daniel molloy. Yknow they’ve got that tainted love yknow.)
Bad blood by Taylor swift (controversial but true) (um idk blood and break ups and stuff lol, it’s funny)
Pompeii by bastille (cuz they first got together in Pompeii and then their relationship fell apart lmao I’m clever) (Pompeii getting exploded by the big volcano is a metaphor for Armand and Daniel breaking up 💔)
Animals by maroon 5 (this song is so odd lmao, but you can start over you can run free, but u can’t stay away from me, baby I’m praying on you tonight 😾 hunt u down eat u alive 🦁🦁 baby u think that u can hide but I can smell ur scent for miles 🐺🐺. This song is aboit Maroon Five having a abusive relationship where he is threatening some gal about how no matter how she tries to move on he’s gonna hunt her down and swallow her alive like deviant art so like just like Armand devils minion am I right tumblr ha ha)
sweet but psycho by Ava max (I think that Daniel wrote down the lyrics to this song feverishly in his journal as original poetry venting his complex feelings on Armand as he hunts him down)
paparazzi by lady Gaga: (armand he stalks Daniel Lmao)
BONUS: Anne rice actually did irl say that she associates the nine inch nails song “the only time” with Armand and Daniel’s romance so do with that what u will
LEAVE UR DEVILS MINION SONGS IN THE COMMENTS BELOOW??!!
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