#I just like Chess: In Concert. I can't even PLAY Chess.

[tiredemmet]

I'm sure this observation has been made before. But I like comparing the games Black and White to the origin of Chess.

The origins of Chess are pretty vague and don't have much conclusive evidence, however here are vague reports of it originating in India as a modified version of the game of Chaturanga. The Shahnameh, a long poem written in the 11th century, paints a story of the origins coming from a fight between two brothers. To summarize, two half-brothers, Talhand and Gav, battle for the throne and one ends up dying without being attacked. Amidst the mother's grief, the other brother uses a checkered board with game pieces to explain how he had no fault in the other's demise.

Of course I'm not comparing these brothers to Emmet and Ingo, I'm comparing them to the legendary twin heroes of truth and ideals, who fought for control of the Unova region. But the inclusion of black-and-white themed twins in the game's present is a nod to them, and therefore also can be compared to the Shahnameh.

It's fun to make comparisons.

[eddieisashifter]

what it's like dating percabeth

because I need to brag about my loves <3

Percy Jackson

The definition of a skater boy, he's so silly

he loves physical affections just as much as I do.

I swear, we're always holding each other's hand, and if we're sitting together anywhere, you'll find us in each others' laps

he's working on helping me get over my thalassophobia. It's going terribly.

but, we do swim together in the lake, sometimes at midnight when we can't sleep

Dates to the aquarium, skatepark, to-go coffee as we walk around downtown nyc, and rock concerts. He loves to go out and do stuff. Always on the move, flowing from one thing to the next like water.

he also loves to go thrifting with me, especially in my small hometown

I swear this man does not breath. When he kisses, I feel like I'm gonna pass out from light-headedness (not that I'm complaining ehehe)

He loves graphic novels and comics because of his dyslexia, since he still likes to read. I've taken him to the comic shop several times and bought him some (spider-man is his favorite)

He loves jewelry too. He has a few layered necklaces on all the time (including his camp one with a trident on it, one that says 'seaweed brain' from annabeth, and a locket with pictures of me and annie inside from me)

bracelets are his favorite though. he's stolen some of my spiked leather cuffs and annabeth's charm bracelet. But he's also got a few from thrifting and gifts from us

he also keeps hair ties on his wrists so he can give one whenever me or annabeth need one (or estelle when her hair grows out)

He loves cheesy pet names, and he's made a few personal ones for me (and for Annie!) But his favorites for me are: ghostie, darling, babe, azzy, and sweetheart

He's got really bad self-esteem though, we do our best to encourage him whenever we can bc he's so amazing he just doesn't see it :(

Annabeth Chase

I love this girl sm it's not even funny

Dates to the library/bookstore, coffee shops to play board games, small business shops in my small hometown, baking (she helps me bc i'm scared of the oven :,)

I swear to gods this girl can play chess.

Like I thought I knew how to play, but she's literally the daughter of the goddess of strategy I stand no chance

It's okay though, she'll say "checkmate" and kiss me on the nose and it makes it all worth it

We'll annotate each other's favorite books (in Greek bc it's easier for us both) and exchange them <333

hers are neat and actually interesting comments about the book while mine look like a wattpad comment section

When I'm not taking care of myself properly she'll use that commanding tone to make me do shit (like eating or drinking water) and I immediately melt

She doesn't hesitate to tease me about it either, usually using words of praise, which makes my blushing ten times worse

Her and Percy make bets to see who can make me blush first and they're wicked competitive about it. She likes to whisper in my ear in public and watch me try not to make a fool out of myself.

When she wants to lead me somewhere she'll hook her finger on my choker/collar and drag me along

We'll sit in bed reading together. She'll be sitting up straight and I'll have my head in her lap usually.

She isn't big on pda like Percy is, but she gives little kisses and touches when people aren't paying that much attention.

I'm so whipped for them it's not even funny

[sunthyme]

Okay, now is technically the last one before my prefect design lol. OOPS I FORGOR fuck well here they finally are lol...

😭Other Side Characters😭

I drew so many cutie patooties in this batch omg they're adorable. But first we'll kick off with the Royal Blade characters!

🐱Chenya🐱

Because I'm not spelling out his whole damn name 💀

(he/she/they/it/ whatever pronouns you can think of lol) Genderqueer - Pansexual

Teehee I forgot to colour in the damn hair clips... I'm gonna kms /j

- Genderqueer cat. Any character based on the Cheshire Cat is genderqueer to me istg. Chenya is no exception.

- I kept most of her design the same but added in some heterochromia for funsies and used those colours for the hair clips and earrings. Xe is also Hispanic, idk it just felt right.

- Totally has ADHD. The impulsive thoughts are obvious with this one and I think that Neige serves as its impulse control. They made like, a pact of sorts (after their Headmage yelled at Chenya for doing something) that Chenya tells Neige whatever the impulsive thought is and Neige either tell Chenya 'No, you can't do that' or 'We can do this instead'.

- Broke asf. I dunno but I feel like Chenya has like the worst habit of impulse buying you've ever seen so they never carry money on they to try and avoid it at Trey and Riddle's recommendation. It's mostly worked as Neige buys anything Chenya needs when they go out anyways.

Speaking so much of Neige,

🐦Neige LeBlanche🐦

(he/him) Transmasc - Biromantic Asexual

God I love how Neige came out, look at him!!! He's such a cutie patootie omgomg I love him sm

- Anyways, I was fighting my demons to not make him black and I lost. I dunno, we don't have enough sweet, cute black boys in media and that is a crime.

- I gave him some hairclips with cute lil charms on them and some of those silly little acne patches. Idk if he actually has acne, he totally could, but I think he'd wear them either way to like normalise not be ashamed of it, y'know?

- I gave him some cute little apple earrings which were a gift that Rook gave him after a concert with one of his letters lol. He wears most of the jewelry gifted to him at one point or another but he really likes the apple earrings.

- Has a crush on Vil. Idk how popular of a headcanon that is but as soon as they interacted, I felt like it made sense. I love the one-sided rivalry lmao with Vil hating his ass and he's just like, 'Omg, she's so pretty and cool and smart. Wow, I'm so glad we get to work together so much!' It's really funny ngl.k

- Loves to crochet, knit, and sew. All are kinda skills he picked up while caring for the dwarves but they're his favourite to do. He's made Chenya a few sets of mittens (because for some super mysterious reason, they always go missing) and a quilt at some point.

- Likes anything with apples in it, pies, drinks, you name it. Fall is his favourite season because of apple cider alone (otherwise it'd be spring).

Onto the Kingscholars!

🦁Cheka Kingscholar🦁

(he/him)

He's so cute!!! I love him omg I'd actually love to babysit him look at those eyes

- I kept his design also pretty on model, darken his skin a smidge and textured his hair to match Leona's. Smacked some dimples and birthmarks on as if he wasn't cute enough already.

- The gold eyeliner is like a royal thing, maybe be specific to the crown line or maybe Leona's just too fcking lazy, probably the later.

- He's actually really good at chess. He's played many games with Leona, even though he didn't get it at first, but now he can beat most people who play him (still not Leona lest he really screws up something). Most of his birthdays, he gets a new pretty chess set and he has a little display of them in his room.

Now for his dad! The only character here without a canon design (as far as I know... which I'm upset about).

👑Farena Kingscholar👑

(he/him) - Heterosexual

I woulda also made a design for his wife but I don' think she even has a name?? So maybe in the future.

- I based him more on Leona, trying to make sure that Cheka didn't just get his trait lmao. I think that he got his piercing actually after Leona got his because the palace staff were criticising him for it so Farena went and got one.

- I dunno, he's giving bi wife energy. It helps that the women of Sunset Savannah are buff and cool and I'm so mad we never saw them 😭😭😭 I wanna see Leona's sister-in-law so bad ;^;.

- He's not as much into the intellectual side of things like Leona is, would rather defeat people with strength which is why the two really don't get along super well. Though I think it's only perceived on Leona's side, I don't think Farena realises how much hurt Leona's had throughout his life.

- Angst aside, he doesn't get much in the way of free time what with all his royal duties and such. His favourite activities are spoiling his family and getting used as a weight for his wife's daily exercise!

We got even more other family characters incoming...

🐍Najima Viper🐍

(she/her) - Bicurious

Fair warning, I haven't encountered any of the last three characters lol.

- I didn't change much here either, just added some red streaks to her hair and matched her palette to Jamil's.

- I don't know if her age is ever implied but I think she'd be younger than him by like a year. She went to a different school with Kalim's cousin (who they're like besties).

- I feel like Najima didn't get the same set of exceptions set on her growing up and so her relationship with the Al-Asims, while still not necessarily healthy, was nowhere near as damaging. I think that while Jamil definitely envies that, he'd rather die than make her go through the same thing as him.

Up next,

🧢Mama Spade🧢

(she/her) - Bisexual

Never met her either 😭😭😭

- I based her off my Deuce design and really just added some more piercings. I actually toned down the blonde streaks but I think they'd both have just a few.

- I believe she has a small business??? Or something? I didn't read the wiki but her hat had a delivery service me thinks but I stan her having a small business.

- She loves her son very much and was super excited when she saw his new piercings. Also, super accepting when he came out, obvi and thinks that while Ace is a bit of a rascal, they do click together.

I don't have a ton for her but I want that event to come back pleaseeee 🙏🙏🙏

🐉Meleanor Draconia🐉

(she/they) Agender - Aromantic Pansexual

- I had so much fun with her horns. I made them more branchy and I think a full grown dragon (well, like an old one) would basically have a web of antlers. I added some purple to the tips for the 🌸aesthetic🌸.

- Also added some wave to her hair. Malleus looked in her spitting image so I figured I'd give Levan's genes a chance lmao. They're also super tall, probably even taller than Mal herself and especially with the horns.

- I think she'd have left some things that Malleus ended up growing up with not realising they were from her, like a hair clasp, some assorted jewelry, a couple toys and items that Lilia gave him when he was old enough. Pieces of her for him to grow up with, y'know?

Anyways, I'm so sorry for this posting without anything lmao I was real tired last night! Prefect is next on the chopping block!

[modelbus]

did you ever plan on making a part two to your accidental confessions fic with wilbur? would love to read more!! <3

Your wish is my command <3

Check out Part 1!!

Pairing: Cc!Wilbur x Gn!Reader

Friends to Lovers - Accidental Confession Part 2

“I have the worst headache.” Wilbur groans, rubbing his temples while collapsing into the chair next to you.

You poke at the cheap hotel breakfast, trying to ignore the nerves fluttering around in your stomach. Last night was fresh in your mind, occupying every bit of thinking space. Wilbur’s dopey grin, his words. The only question was if he remembered it. If he truly meant it all.

From across the table, Ash raises his eyebrows at you. You nudge his foot with yours, a silent threat. If Ash brings it up, you will ensure his suitcase "accidentally" gets left behind.

“Don’t drink so much wine next time.” You suggest, dropping your fork onto the plate. Your plastic fork, might you add. The hotel didn't even offer metal utensils.

“God. I don’t even want to perform.”

“That’s why our concert is tomorrow.” Mark chimes in. “Because we all knew you’d hate having it today.”

“You are a fucking genius, Mark.” Wilbur slumps further down into his chair, and you stand. Joe doesn't even look up from the plate of food he's absolutely devouring.

“I have to grab my wallet. Anyone else need stuff?”

Silently, you pray they let you go alone. Really, you only think you could face Mark or Joe right now. Even though Wilbur was the one you were trying to avoid, Ash definitely knew something was up between the two of you. And that was assuming Wilbur didn't run his drunk mouth last night.

“I’ll come with you.” Wilbur quickly says, also getting up. “To grab Ash’s camera.”

A rush of nerves fills you, but you shrug. He hasn’t said anything about last night yet, so what are the chances he’ll say something now? Or at least that's what you're telling yourself.

The two of you walk down the halls in complete silence. You attempt to focus on anything but his presence beside you. The blue carpet, the beige walls. You’re suddenly really fucking glad your rooms are on the first floor. An elevator ride might've killed you. You couldn’t just forget what he said, not when you so desperately wanted it to be true.

“I’ll grab my wallet while you grab the camera?” You suggest, unlocking your door with a swipe of your keycard.

Wilbur follows you into your room though, not going along with your plan. “We aren’t in a rush. Are we?”

“Maybe.” You grab your wallet off the bedside table, turning to see him lingering by the doorway when you make to walk out. “Time-wise it made more sense, but if you want to be slow-“

He reaches out and loosely grabs your wrist, making your words die in your throat and your legs stop moving. It's the contact, more than anything else. The feeling of his warm hand touching your skin makes your heart pound wildly.

“Calm down, okay? I can tell you're nervous."

"I'm not nervous." You boldly lie, barely able to look him in the eyes for a second.

"I'd like to think I know you well enough to know when you're lying." He scoffs. "If this is about last night-"

"It's not. About last night, that is." You cut him off.

His hand falls away from your wrist, but neither of you moves from that too-small doorway. Part of you mourns the loss of contact, while the other part is just trying to calm your heart before you go into cardiac arrest.

This is a challenge, one you can't back down from without losing. You're more afraid of what he's going to say next than anything that happened last night. Will he drop it? Unlikely, Wilbur also never backed down. What will he say?

"No?" He asks, and you pick up on the glimmer of amusement in his tone.

"No."

"So you aren't interested in if my feelings changed at all from last night then?"

Your eyes are drawn to him in surprise, only to see him grinning at you. Shit. You've played directly into his trap. This is why you don't play chess with him anymore.

But you'd be lying again if you told him no. Every bit of you was itching to know if he really meant it last night, to the point that you could jump out of your own skin. Every bit of you was hoping to hear things hadn't changed.

"Have they?" You speak so quietly that he has to lean in close to you. Or maybe he's just leaning in because he wants to.

You can't look away now, not from him. For a second the entire world seems to hang in its balance around the two of you.

"Lets check."

His lips crash onto yours, and he's suddenly kissing you. It hardly takes you a second to register what's going on and kiss him back. Wilbur braces an arm on the doorway behind you, and the two of you pull apart.

"Have an answer yet?" You ask.

"I think I need another kiss to tell. What do you think?"

"Yeah, I think that would help."

This time, when both of you manage to pull away, he steps out of the doorway. You follow after him without hesitation, letting the hotel door shut behind you with a soft click.

"Yeah." He nods.

"Yeah?" You echo, confused.

"Yeah, my feelings have changed." Your heart drops. His feelings have changed? After you fucking kissed? Twice?

"I definitely like you more than I did last night." He grins, and you hit his chest.

"Asshole!"

Wilbur laughs loudly, and you find yourself grinning with him.

[antialiasis]

Chess på svenska

Wow, this one really is entirely different from the others. This is a Swedish translation of Chess from 2002, and I mean translation very loosely: half the songs here have just been repurposed to be about something entirely different and/or take place in some entirely different context within the plot, and the lyrics may or may not have any relation whatsoever to what the original lyrics were. ("I Know Him So Well" is just literally the exact opposite of the original song, Svetlana arguing that Anatoly needs structure and rules i.e. her and Florence that he needs freedom i.e. her.)

The bit where doing it in Swedish means they have to write new lyrics does give them a lot of creative freedom to restructure the story. An English version has to try to find some configuration of the existing songs and write its way between them, or else actually get Tim Rice to write entirely new lyrics. Chess på svenska knew the language change meant it didn't technically have to do that, and just really milked that for all it was worth in figuring out an entirely new way to tell something loosely like the base story using some of the same melodies (and some new ones).

This time around, Anatoly is the main-main character (he's played by Tommy Körberg, who was Anatoly on the concept album, and I do like his performance a lot). We start with him at home, singing "The Story of Chess" to his son after an argument with Svetlana, who already thinks he's cheating on her on his chess trips. There's only one chess tournament once again, in Merano, with Freddie as the champion and Anatoly as the challenger.

I think this was the best beginning of Florence and Anatoly's relationship in any of these. She really does vent her frustrations about Freddie to him (in a completely rewritten version of "Someone Else's Story", taking place after she witnesses Freddie with other girls at a club after "1956 - Budapest Is Rising"), and he's interested in her father, and he sort of pulls her with him when Molokov is distracted so he can go apply for political asylum. All in all I quite liked much of the first act here, the way it also gave focus to Florence's trauma and the way they connected and the generally effective staging, and was prepared to speak generally positively of it by the time of the act break.

On the other hand... where Chess in Concert's first act was far too slow, this one really dragged in act two. We spend a while on the romance drama, and in act two it all gets a lot blander and lengthier.

We start Act II by doing "Argument" from the concept album but as a totally rewritten argument between Florence and Freddie, which is fine. Then we do "Pity the Child", which is one of the songs that's just legitimately a translation, although it loses the whole parallel of the repeated "Just in case they said...", boo. Then we do an argument between Anatoly and Svetlana at their hotel (Molokov had her and their son just plan abducted and taken there) after Anatoly cavorting with Florence has been publicized... and we use "Endgame" for it, and it's partly a translation, has Svetlana berating him for only caring about himself and him telling her she never understood, etc. I was like huhhh, we're pulling out the super-dramatic climax song now? Okay, I guess it gets a reprise for the climax? But okay, cool, fine.

Then Florence does "Heaven Help My Heart", which is not really a translation but still fairly generic love song. Then Svetlana sings a new song, "He Is a Man, He Is a Child", about her relationship with Anatoly. Then we do a "Merano" reprise where Florence and Anatoly go out to dance somewhere and Freddie arrives extremely drunk to warn him off her because she's a terrible woman don't you know women are the worst (can't believe every version of this musical is wildly different from the others but apparently every one of them chooses to include Freddie's misogyny verse, even the Swedish version that has to move it to an entirely different spot in the plot in an entirely different song). Then we do a long sequence with some acrobats doing cool acrobatics while Florence and Anatoly gaze in each other's eyes. Then they do "You and I", as a generic love song. At this point I looked up at my husband and went, "So like, is the chess tournament still going on at this point?" Don't get me wrong, the acrobats are great, it's very artistic, but as far as the story goes we've just ground way to a halt by this point, in my opinion, and my attention was definitely wandering.

I think the problem is there isn't a good enough sense of actual emotional progression to all this - of course dramatic arguments can totally be gripping storytelling, but here it kind of feels like you could put these bits in any order or skip some and they'd all make the same amount of sense - it doesn't feel like anything actually changes for Florence and Anatoly because of Freddie showing up the way he does, or like Anatoly's argument with Svetlana affected his emotional state or informed how he acts in the dance scene, or anything. As a result, it feels like it's just kind of spinning its wheels here, doing scenes that are dramatic on their face but aren't actually progressing anything for the narrative.

After this the Arbiter does announce they're going to continue the chess match (what even is the Arbiter in this version, incidentally). After the rewritten "I Know Him So Well", Anatoly meets Molokov and asks when he'll get to meet his son, and Molokov tells him he's sure adopted the Western ideology of selfishness fast and you know what'll happen to your family if you stay in the West and if you know what's good for them you'll lose the next match and then rescind your defection. (Oh, and Molokov gets a song here about the wife he used to have whom he betrayed as a sacrifice for the cause.)

Then they do the match, under the "Champions" chorus, and Anatoly just... quietly loses. No "Endgame" at all other than the one during that argument near the beginning of the act! I actually managed to miss the moment he even lost and had to rewatch it to be sure exactly how it went (it's not even explicit whether he threw the match on purpose per se). It's quite an anticlimax compared to the bombastic high drama of "Endgame". I do get what they're going for with this, though, the quietness and the ominous choir reciting the champions in the background just making it all very small and sad, and we don't really need words here to know this Anatoly loves his son so much it was never a choice for him under Molokov's explicit threat - after that Molokov scene, this is the most effective this ending could be, and I think they made a good call doing it this way, given they went for that.

I like Anatoly and Florence in this version, although I feel like they get muddled and less distinct in the second act. Freddie here is the boring asshole version, never really humanized beyond the obligatory "Pity the Child", which isn't enough by itself to make Freddie feel like a compelling character. I found myself particularly disappointed in Svetlana, though, because she does get a significant amount of focus but never in a way that really makes her sympathetic or likable or interesting, as she's constantly just being pitted against Florence and Anatoly rather than truly getting developed as a person with her own independent existence and feelings that aren't about grr Anatoly and grr Florence. One of the things I liked about "I Know Him So Well" originally is that it's about Florence and Svetlana, who are theoretically romantic rivals, each being sympathetic to the other's point of view (even if they don't know it) - originally Chess doesn't pit them against one another at all, instead only having them echo and back up each other. Not so here, where Svetlana calls Florence a whore and "I Know Him So Well" is instead an argument where they're both going, "No, mine." I just enjoy that dynamic a lot less, and Svetlana just feels kind of one-dimensional.

So, all in all, I think this version had cool promise and did some cool things, Tommy Körberg was great, but it also definitely floundered in various ways particularly in the second act, in my opinion. I may write one more post of final synthesized Chess thoughts now that I've experienced all the main plot strains as far as I understand it.

[27emailsicantsend]

Set it Up: A Rina AU

Chapter Seven

Gina: They made up? Like actually, actually?

Ricky: Well, EJ didn't scream at me this morning, so I take that as a "yes".

Gina: I can't believe it! We did it. I was getting worried that Nini was going to try to make me miss the wedding Saturday night...

Ricky: Wow! I can't believe you almost flaked on your wedding with Jack! He must really like you to stick around!

Gina: Ha. Ha. Very funny, Richard. It's Kourtney's wedding(my roommate if you remember). And he's my date for the night, so he will be seeing me. You don't win this time.

Ricky: Oh, but on the contrary, I have won every game of digital chess we've played today.

Gina: We played one game.

Ricky: And I won. So, therefore, I'm the winner.

Gina: I'm leaving the conversation now! Bye!

Gina blushed as she set her phone back on her desk, resuming the work she had put off for the morning to play online chess with Ricky. Somehow, miracles really did come true because she now had Saturday night available and she was not about to miss her best friend's wedding.

Nini knew about the wedding since the day after Kourtney and Jet got engaged, but after the huge blow up EJ and she had, Gina knew she might have had to kiss that P.T.O. good bye.

About twenty minutes into typing, Gina saw a large hand smack the top of her computer. It left little remnants of finger prints on her privacy screen. She looked up jokingly annoyed at Ricky, before opening her desk draw and grabbing a small screen cleaning cloth. She whipped it once in the air with her wrist which was then preceded by her rubbing the prints off the screen meticulously.

"Gina! How could you! Those were the markings of me!" Ricky teased Gina before leaning his body against the high reception desktop.

"Which is exactly why I erased them," Gina easily countered, the smirk creeping up on her face. Ricky gave her a goofy face as a response back.

Ej rolled in, his demanding voice making the two of them jump. "Ricky, Jessica, Nini's office. Now".

Gina stood up, grabbing a notepad and a pen, muttering, "does he really not know my name?"

Ricky walked around the desk, so that the pair met up to walk to Nini's office, matching each other's pace. Ricky leaned in, his shoulder brushing Gina's as he whispered, "I'm surprised he even knows mine".

Gina had to do her best not to freeze; the momentary contact made her heart skip at least two beats. She regathered herself, hoping Ricky didn't notice her shift in confidence as they continued to walk.

Once the two entered the room, they saw Nini sitting in her desk chair and EJ standing close to her. He had his arm on her shoulder, with her hand reaching up to grab his. This small touch was enough to signal to Ricky and Gina that the two really were back together.

No one in the room acknowledged the mended fence, however. Instead, Nini kept her posture straight as a board as she began speaking, with the same confidence and power she normally had.

"We need two tickets to the Beyoncé concert this weekend," Nini instructed, not blinking an eye at her demand.

Gina, still as gentle as ever when it came to Nini asked, "But Nini... how are we supposed to get those? You know that concert has been sold out for months".

"You're my assistant. Figure it out".

"But-" Gina was about to keep arguing before Ricky grabbed her arm and pulled her close to him. His fingers wrapped tight around her bicep which made her feel like she was about to sweat profusely. She didn't know he had that kind of strength. To make matters worse for her, he whispered in her ear again, the tip of his words tickling her ear. This gesture made everything Gina was about to say to Nini flew out the window. Her mind had vanished.

"Just agree. We will figure it out. Kourtney, remember?" Ricky reminded her.

Gina, still feeling a little dizzy, made a couple steps forward towards Nini. Gina tried her best to keep her cool, not wanting Nini to hear her words wavering because of Ricky's touch.

"I... I will get-t them, Nini," Gina blinked, not sure what other movements her body could do. It was as if all functioning shut down.

Ricky stood in the back, his arms crossed proudly. He didn't know he could shake Gina up like that. He made a mental note that he could remind her of his strength when she tried to intimidate him.

However, just as the thought came to his mind- a stronger, brighter image of Lily flashed. Ricky swore to himself he would never let Lily know what he just thought.

Gina nudged her head toward Ricky to follow her out the door, before they made their way back to the reception desk. Ricky noticed that Gina didn't look pleased at all to be taking Nini's request. In fact, she looked paralyzed with fear. Gina slumped down in her desk chair, propping her elbows on her desk so that she could massage her forehead.

Ricky grabbed another swivel chair from the office across from them and rolled it behind Gina's desk, before taking a seat next to her. Ricky reached out gently, trying to use his hand to comfort her by placing it softly on her arm. It was supposed to be a warm gesture, but Gina turned her face and gave Ricky a "look", which he interpreted as her uncertainty to his touch. Ricky quickly shot his hand back, using his next words to distract her from his reckless action.

"I-uh-I... I know a guy, Gina. We're lucky we work in the music industry. He worked with EJ for a long time, as well as Beyoncé. I'm sure he can get us tickets. Then you can go on your," Ricky hesitated, "...date. And I can go to my party while they're at the concert".

Gina sat up, gratitude overcoming her eyes. She surveyed Ricky a few seconds, wondering why he was being so kind to her as of recent. Sure, the thought had crossed her mind a few times before this, but she thought it might have been him stressed and sleep deprived from the baby.

But this time was different.

Ricky was full of his same energy and zest. He still had his same playfulness he always did. But it was like Gina was uncovering this side to him she had never seen before. Or maybe she had seen, but she was finally noticing. A brief thought came and went in her mind about how she doesn't remember Jack ever comforting her when she was stressed about work.

Gina bit her lower lip, using the rest of her mouth to give Ricky a little grin. "Thanks, Ricky. I mean it... and did you say party?!"

Ricky looked unsurprised, not understanding why Gina didn't know about the party.

"Yes, Gina. The party!" Ricky repeated.

"You never said anything about a party? What for? With who?" Gina probed, not even sure herself why she was so intrigued by Ricky's plans. She justified that she was probably curious because Ricky didn't seem like the party type. But then she realized that he did like to have fun and a lot of his tendencies could be written off as "child-like". So, she was back to square one.

"Yes, Gi, a party," Ricky responded. Gina's heart fluttered a little hearing him use her nickname. She wondered if he would use it more often. "Lily is having a bunch of people from her play get together to celebrate their month long streak of sold out shows".

Gina couldn't describe what she was feeling, but hearing Lily's name made her blood boil a little. She thought about how awful Lily was to Ricky and how he sacrificed everything to be with her, and still continued to do so. She also had a sarcastic response she wanted to say about Lily's theater only being about, 30 seats, but she decided to bite her tongue.

"That sounds... fun," Gina knew her voice couldn't muster up the slightest bit of excitement for Ricky. But she was going to die trying.

"It will be..." Ricky's voice trailed off. He actually thought about asking Gina to join the party. But he knew she couldn't ask her with the wedding that same day, so he let the sentence float in the air.

Not sure of what to say next, Ricky made a small comment about needing to get back to his work. Gina echoed with "m-me too", and before Ricky knew it, he was back at his desk, making a call to his music industry buddy to get tickets.

*********************************************************************

Early Saturday morning, Ricky heard a few taps on his apartment door. He walked over and swung it open, seeing who he expected to see. He just didn't expect to see how nice she looked.

"Gina!" Ricky exclaimed, gesturing for her to come in.

She was in a sleeveless yellow dress, that had a tight top and a billowing skirt. Her hair was pulled back in a bun that made her curls waterfall on the back of her head. A tall pair of skinny, white heels pulled the ensemble together.

Ricky couldn't help but notice how Gina's smile paired with her dress made her radiate like sunshine.

Ricky's grin stretched from ear to ear, as Gina pulled a card out of her small white handbag (with a long chain to hold it on her shoulder). She smacked the card playfully on Ricky's chest, to which his hand brushed hers as he grabbed the card.

Gina's entire body stilled from the touch. After taking a couple of seconds to recollect herself, she remembered why she came.

"I called the guy like you told me to and the concert is now booked. We have our Saturday back!" Gina celebrated. Still facing Ricky, she turned her head to look around Ricky's living room. She knew he said he didn't have a lot of money, but she didn't know how much he meant. She assumed he lived in a decent apartment with Carlos and Seb paying rent. In her mind, three incomes (two of them from the music industry) made it possible for Ricky to afford a relatively nice place.

However, Ricky's apartment was small and humble. Any arrogance Ricky once showed Gina dissolved looking at his living situation. The cozy atmosphere made Gina think about what it might be like for her to be there more often.

Gina's thoughts were interrupted by Seb who asked, "Gina, you're going to wear that to the party?"

Seb was in pink shorts with bananas and pineapples scattered on them. He had on a button down white short sleeve, with the top few buttons opened to reveal his chest. He looked like he was about to go on a seven-day cruise, with his sunglasses atop his head and neon green flip-flops to match.

"No... um. I-I didn't know I was invited... I was just going to hang around town until the wedding tonight..."

"Of course you're invite-"

"Um, Gina probably has better things to do. Right? I'm sure you have all sorts of errands to run until then," Ricky cut Seb off awkwardly. Gina felt a little hurt that Ricky was trying to play nonchalant to the party. And even worse that he was trying to make up an excuse for her to not come.

What she didn't know, was that Ricky and Lily had a pretty big argument the night before. Ricky noticed Lily had been hanging around a lot of her male friends as of late. They asked her on several dates and she didn't even try to not flirt with them via her texts. She accused Ricky of not spending enough time with her because of work (even though their time together grew an exponential amount once Nini and EJ got together) and said that was why she was texting other guys. Ricky tried to be understanding, considering how much time he had spent around Gina (something Lily wasn't totally aware of), but he justified his anger with Lily's absolute lack of regard towards him as person. At least he still had that with Lily.

Lily promised to be better and that she would make time for him at the party. Ricky promised to be at the party with her as well. He retaliated Seb's invite because he felt like if he showed up with another girl (Gina), it was going to look bad for his relationship.

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true," Seb walked over and put his arm around Gina's shoulders, giving her a tight squeeze.

"Yeah, I actually have some time on my hand-"

Ricky interrupted again with, "But she would need a plus one as well. And I'm going with Lily and you're going with Carlos".

Ricky gave Seb a look to hint that it wasn't a good idea, but Seb was too sweet to catch on. Seb, although sassy at times, was also a pretty big empath. The fact that he saw Gina look excited to be invited, made him push the issue further.

With his arm still wrapped tight around Gina, Seb said, "Carlos wanted to spend the day shopping and if I look at one more 'murse', I might combust. Gina, you can be my plus one".

Gina's expression broke into excitement, which made Ricky feel a little terrible for how hard he pushed for her not to come. He thought about how it was just a party and that he was going to be with Lily all night. It probably didn't mean anything that Gina would be there too. Especially as Seb's plus one.

Regaining his peace, Ricky joked, "what's a 'murse', Seb?"

"A man-purse, Ricky!" Seb retorted, half-humorously, half-offended. "I know you're a male, but don't tell me you're still stuck in the 50's".

Ricky pursed his lips together and then gestured at the pair to come with him out the door. On the way out, he asked, "are you sure you can dance in those heels?" to Gina.

******************************************************

The party was everything Gina was hoping it would be and more. Every person was in cocktail dresses and rave outfits. The girls put on excessive amounts of make-up and the boys had too much gel in their hair. The room was warm and sweaty, but the atmosphere was lively.

It was a two-story dance club, with lights and deafening music. Everyone somehow looked elegant, even if they had water dripping down their faces from dancing. About every ten feet, there was some guy or girl flirting with another guy or girl (or two).

Gina didn't understand Ricky's comment about her shoes. Most of the girls had heels on at least a couple inches higher. They seemed to be dancing just fine.

"Do you want to dance?" Seb yelled loudly, but not loud enough to catch Gina's attention.

Gina watched as Ricky went over to whom she presumed to be Lily (from the pictures it would be wild if it wasn't her) and placed his hand on her upper arm. Gina had flashbacks of Ricky touching her arm earlier in the week. Each flashback appeared like a punch to her mind.

"Gina, do. you. want. to. dance.?" Seb asked again, more abrasively.

"Huh?" Gina asked him, now watching Ricky pull Lily in to kiss her on the cheek. She tucked her head down and giggled, her blonde curls falling perfectly by her cheek.

"You know what- I- I'm sorry, Seb. This might of been a bad idea. I'm going to go hang out outside," Gina started to hasten toward the door, but Seb gloomily asking her "why?" got her to stop and talk to him again.

"I just... don't do well with..." Gina looked at Lily who was now dancing with Ricky, her hands on his shoulders and his hands on her waist. They were dancing upbeat to fit the lively music.

"...Crowds," Gina finished her sentence, feeling like someone had just sucker-punched her in the gut.

Seb didn't argue with her, he just gave her a little smile and understanding nod before going elsewhere. Gina, as much as she wanted to leave, somehow found her way to a table. It was placed in the back corner of the second floor of the dance club. No one could see her, but she could see everyone.

Gina sat down at the table before taking a water from a waiter who was carrying several on a silver tray.

Instead of sipping the water, Gina reached into her purse and pulled out her phone. She opened up her messages from herself to Jack.

Gina: Hey, I'm sorry I won't be able to make it tonight. Have to stay late to help Ricky with something.

Gina: I got the invitation for the wedding. It starts at 4 on Saturday, if you still wanted to go with me.

Gina: Are you ok if we sit at Kourtney's family's table? I know them the best out of anyone there. Just let me know.

Gina: Hey, just let me know what time I need to come get you for the wedding. I was thinking 3:45 today?

Gina sighed, reading over the messages that looked more like she was having a conversation with herself. Jack had promised her several weeks ago that he would attend Kourtney's wedding with her, which made Gina feel incredibly special. She was used to attending weddings without a plus-one, or her plus-one being some random lady that didn't have one either.

Gina put her phone face down on the table, as if that would help her avoid the ache in her heart. She liked Jack, that wasn't a question. But she knew that there was something deeper for Ricky. Seeing him with Lily basically confirmed that for her and she didn't know how to ward off the feelings anymore.

But Ricky looked so happy in his horrible relationship. He wouldn't have kept pursuing it if he wasn't gaining something from it, Gina thought to herself. Gina propped her elbows on the table, using a large exhausted breath to place her chin in her hands. She stared blankly at a guy and a girl several feet from her; the guy hitting on the girl and the girl trying to turn him down politely.

Gina wondered if that was what Jack was trying to do to her. Or worse, Ricky when he made his failed attempt at keeping her away from the party. Out of any of the feelings she had had so far, rejection was the worst one of them all.

Gina wasn't sure how long she had stared at the couple, then another couple, then another couple, then finally the wall, before she felt a hand on her shoulder. The hand felt strong. Familiar.

"Aren't you so glad you came?" Ricky joked, but something in his tone seemed defeated.

"You don't sound so glad yourself, Mr. Bowen," Gina replied, still refusing to make eye contact with Ricky. He sat in the chair on the other side of the table, his body positioned forward to see the dance floor. He lifted his arm to rest it on the red table cloth.

Ricky clicked his tongue as if he was about to respond, but then closed his mouth and nodded his head, his expression irked. Gina noticed he was watching something, and when she turned to see what he was looking at, it was actually someone. Lily was giggling and talking to two guys, who both had their shirts off (every part of their torsos were carved to perfection). Gina watched Lily place her hand on one of the guy's chests flirtatiously. Gina snapped her focus back to Ricky, who was now looking down discouraged.

"Jack hasn't texted me," Gina broke the silence, hoping it would help Ricky feel better. Or distract him. Or both. Gina didn't really care. She just hated seeing him so dejected. It was like looking at a kicked puppy.

Ricky glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, concern ringing in his eye sight.

"Um... yeah," Gina continued, now speaking a little more confidently. "The wedding is at four and he hasn't texted me in... several days. I guess I'm going alone. Maybe me cancelling our dates too much is what caused this. I guess I squeezed my salamander a little too hard".

Ricky smirked at first, but then couldn't fight off the chuckle as he replied, "that's not the metaphor".

Gina rolled her eyes. She didn't think she was ever going to get it.

Ricky looked up at her with the warmest expression she had seen from him yet. It was a mix of concern and understanding, defeat and trust. In that moment, it was like their minds were connected. They didn't have to say anything to produce a mutual agreement of how terrible the situation was.

They just knew.

After a few moments of what seemed to be the most comfortable silence they had yet, Ricky spoke up again. "He doesn't deserve you".

Gina saw the sincerity in Ricky's eyes, how much he meant what he said. She swallowed, her eyes feeling a little sting from the tears trying to form. Gina blinked several times to pull herself together; Ricky's calm voice running through her head over. and over. and over.

He doesn't deserve you.

Ricky looked over at Lily again thoughtfully, pondering why he decided to try to make things right with her again when she was just going to revert back to her old ways. How he was supposed to be here with the love of his life, but instead he was sitting on the second floor of a dance club, about as far back away from the crowd as he could get, with another girl at the table, and he couldn't be more at peace.

Ricky didn't mind the big parties or all of the famous, well-known people acting like they cared about each other. He didn't mind Lily having interviews and scheduling photo shoots. He didn't even mind the idea of fame, considering he wanted to be a musician. But something about the day and this party felt off, and it only felt better at this moment. With Gina.

Ricky spoke again. And although it was off the cuff, he didn't regret what he proposed to Gina when he said, "I'll go with you".

Gina was sure she choked on her drink. The one that was still on the table. That she hadn't drank out of yet.

"You'll what?!" Gina exclaimed, knowing her shock sounded more excited than it did perplexed.

"I said, I'll go with you," Ricky repeated, now watching Lily pull one of the shirtless men close to her face, her hand around the back of his neck, as she danced with him.

Ricky was trying his best not to combust into a million irate little pieces.

"Yeah, you need a plus-one," Ricky resolved. He was upset with Lily, but he knew that wasn't the only reason he was offering. The sunshine Gina brought in earlier, seemed dampened by the darkest cloud because of Jack. Ricky couldn't stand to see her even remotely frown and he was willing to do anything to fix it. When the cloud over Gina formed, somehow it had hovered over Ricky too.

"What about..." Gina looked over at Lily. Gina wondered if anyone even knew Lily came with Ricky the way she was eyeing the other guys.

"Trust me. I don't think she'll notice I'm gone," Ricky sneered.

*************************************

Jack hadn't responded by the time Ricky and Gina made it to the wedding. They stopped by Ricky's apartment for a moment so he could change into a nicer outfit. He opted for an entirely black ensemble, a short-sleeved black button-up, matching slacks, and shiny leather shoes. He was wearing a gold watch that hung a little off of his wrist and his curls were dressing the top of his head perfectly.

When Ricky walked out of his room, Gina was sitting on his couch, rifling through some old newspapers on his coffee table. When she heard him come in, she looked up and thought she had went into cardiac arrest. Ricky looked devilishly handsome and all she wanted to do was kiss every inch of his face.

Gina decided she wasn't going to push her thoughts away anymore, especially after Jack disappearing into thin air.

To make matters worse, when he stepped in closer to her, the waft of his cologne hit her nose. It was a dark, musky scent. It smelled like nighttime in a fancy bachelor pad.

Gina was sure she was going to have to get checked into a hospital with her heart palpitations.

"Well... how do I look?" Ricky teased, spinning in a circle like a little girl showing off her new dress.

"Please," Gina rolled her eyes, hoping Ricky couldn't see her blushing. She stood up and walked past him so he couldn't watch her bring herself back to reality. Over her shoulder she said, "you already know I look better".

Ricky couldn't have agreed more.

Ricky and Gina gasped when they got to the destination of the wedding. It was the same dock where Jet had proposed, with candles and rose petals everywhere. There were string lights strewn around the railings of the dock and vines wrapped around the lights. Tables with white cloths and single red roses were placed randomly around. There was a DJ, a long banquet table, and a greeting area with a "sign-in" book and a place to put presents.

Gina was beyond curious what the venue would look like when Jet and Kourtney first said where. About a million logistical questions went through her mind about if the railing was tall enough, if the wood was sturdy enough to hold all of the furniture and people, and how Kourtney would even walk down an aisle. Gina wanted to help decorate, but Kourtney's parents ended up paying people to decorate for her. So everyone who came (besides the decorators) were in disbelief at how beautiful the reception area looked.

At the end of the dock stood a tall wooden arch with white curtains and green leaves draped around it's poles. Kourtney was standing under it in a long silky white gown with cold shoulders that barely reached her upper arms. Her hair was picked out into a beautiful afro, with two gold hair clips to pull back one side. She had an assortment of gold earrings running up both of her ears. Gina couldn't help but think about how ethereal Kourtney looked under the arch.

As soon as Gina saw Kourtney, she bolted straight for her arms. The pair gave each other the tightest and most loving embrace, with Kourtney eyeing Ricky over Gina's shoulder. Ricky looked away, pretending not to notice Gina's best friend interrogating him with her glare.

"Kourtney, you look like an actual Greek goddess! I just can't believe you're getting married. All of this is stunning! Oh! I almost forgot to introduce you! This is-" Gina began to introduce Ricky, but Kourtney unfortunately jumped the gun.

"Jack! He is really cute!" Kourtney tried to act excited but was absolutely covering up some disgust. Gina knew she was faking her emotion because Kourtney knew about Jack not messaging Gina back either. Kourtney had about lost her mind with Jack and Gina's messy back-and-forth over the last few months. Gina presumed the only thing keeping her sane was her wedding.

Gina's eyes widened, not sure how Kourtney mixed up the two boys so badly. She hurriedly fixed Kourtney's assumption.

"Ricky! This is Ricky. Who I work with? Remember?" Gina was trying to stare death down Kourtney so she wouldn't make that mistake again.

"Right! Right! Ricky! I've heard so mu-normal amount about you!"

Kourtney's awkwardness made Gina wanted to run so far from the wedding. She started to ruminate on how much of a mistake it was that she brought Ricky. How she should've just shown up solo instead of this terrible idea.

"And I've heard... so normal amount about you too?" Ricky joked, arching his eyebrow. He was definitely unsure about what to make of Kourtney. One thing was certain to him, however: meeting Kourtney made Gina's mannerisms make a lot more sense.

Ricky still didn't totally get Gina, but he was starting too.

"Ricky, this is Jet!" Kourtney grabbed Jet's arm to turn him around and, as if in a movie, Jet slowly turned around and connected immediately to Ricky.

Kourtney introducing Jet to Ricky was like reuniting soulmates. Jet mentioned one word about music to Ricky and the two of them couldn't stop talking. In fact, they talked so much that both of them walked off to get some appetizers at the banquet table while Kourtney and Gina took seats elsewhere.

"I guess my fiancé stole your boy- I mean, your date- I mean, your Ricky," Kourtney fumbled, obviously trying (and failing) to not put a label on whatever Ricky was.

Gina knew that she talked a lot more about Ricky than she did Jack. She also knew that Kourtney always had a knowing look whenever Gina mentioned Ricky. Gina also knew that Jack was probably not going to come back, so it wasn't going to hurt her to open up to her best friend.

"I know you were trying not to say boyfriend, Kourt. But Ricky's not with me. He's with Lily," Gina said disappointedly.

"You don't want him with Lily, do you?" Kourtney replied softly, reaching her hand over to hold Gina's.

"Yeah... I guess I don't," Gina admitted. She didn't care if Kourtney knew about her true feelings since it probably wasn't going anywhere anyway. Gina accepted this fate because if Ricky stuck with Lily through all of the other terrible things she did, she believed that there was no way Ricky would leave her for another woman. Especially a coworker.

Kourtney just squeezed Gina's hand understandingly. Gina knew that Kourtney wasn't going to try to make her feel better or change her mind. In that moment, a supportive friend was all Gina needed.

The wedding went phenomenally well. It all took place on the dock, which Gina had failed to see that the tables had been set strategically so there was a "fake aisle" for everyone to walk up. Gina took the arm of the best man (Jet's best friend growing up) and stood on the left of the arch next to Kourtney. Tears streamed down Gina's face as she listened to the wedding vows that would make the largest, most intimidating man weep.

What Gina didn't see, was Ricky watching her the entire wedding. He couldn't have told her what vows were said or even what the color of Kourtney's earrings were. All he saw was the most gorgeous being in yellow, overcome with emotion for the person she cared so deeply about. Ricky began to wonder if he would have friends like that who would be that emotional over his own wedding day. He sure hoped so.

After the wedding was complete, the bride and groom did a few of the traditional after wedding celebrations, like toasts, getting the garter, and catching the flower bouquet. Gina wanted to catch it, but Ricky jokingly reached in front of her and caught it himself. When Gina crossed her arms and gave him a lovingly-annoyed look, his face broke into a huge grin. He handed the bouquet to her which only resulted in Gina laughing before she tried to walk away.

Kourtney had noticed this interaction, giving Gina a sly eye. As she saw Gina walking, she yanked Gina to the side and said, "just so you know, we're going to start the dance soon".

"Ok, cool!" Gina obliviously replied, not sure why she needed to know that information.

Kourtney decided to press a little further, making sure Gina got the hint. She grabbed Gina by the shoulders and made her face Ricky, who was now laughing hysterically at something Jet had just said. It must have been really funny, because Ricky was holding a drink and when he threw his head back, he nearly spilled it.

"There is going to be a dance soon," Kourtney reiterated in Gina's ear, shaking Gina's shoulders a little to catch her attention.

Gina turned around to look at Kourtney with a bit of panic on her face. Kourtney just chuckled and pushed Gina toward Ricky. About the same time that happened, "Everything" by Michael Bublé came over the outdoor speaker.

Kourtney began by dancing with her dad, a tall well-built man who Gina was sure terrified Jet the first time they met. A few moments later, Jet cut in and swayed around with Kourtney. Gina and Ricky watched as more pairs stepped in, the wind adding to the silent tension between them.

Gina wanted to ask Ricky to dance, but was worried about what Lily was going to think. She wondered if she could play the dance off like a fun, casual thing. Or if she was stepping over her bounds by even thinking about Ricky dancing with her. She wondered how well Ricky could dance, or if she would be the one who needed to lead. She wondered if Ricky is the kind of guy who makes eye contact while he dances or uncomfortably avoids contact by looking over the girl's head. He made eye contact with Lily earlier, but she wondered about someone new.

Someone like her.

The anxiety from her thoughts continued to build and build, making Gina wish the song wasn't so long and so slow. She wanted nothing more than the moment to be over so she didn't even have to think about dancing with Ricky. But, at the same time, all she wanted was to dance with Ricky.

A few moments later, after the wait became nearly unbearable for Gina, she opened her mouth to ask Ricky to dance.

Just as she went to talk, however, he spoke over her. Ricky was standing next to her, therefore he didn't know he had just interrupted. "You're a great dancer, right?"

Gina felt her heart pound about a thousand miles in her chest. She didn't want to seem too eager or obvious, even though she knew where this was going. "Yes, it's something I've done since I was little".

"Why don't you show me?" Ricky asked, now looking down at Gina.

Her gaze went up to meet Ricky's, but she wanted to be one hundred percent sure she knew what he was asking. "Like... go out there... and dance? ... by myself?"

"Gina," Ricky looked at her sarcastically, as if he couldn't believe she could have missed such an obvious hint. "Teach me how to dance".

Gina gave Ricky a small smile as she grabbed his hand (for the first time, which made her hands feel like they were profusely sweating- she was hoping Ricky would just blame the warmth on the hot summer night) and led Ricky out to the dance area in the middle of the dock.

Once in an area they could dance (without bumping into tables or other people), Gina held her hand out. Ricky grabbed it before she placed his other hand on her waist, and her other hand on his shoulder. The intimacy of the moment was already enough to make Gina feel faint, but that feeling tripled when a light breeze pushed the scent of his cologne toward her. Gina had to stiffen her body to maintain her composure.

Pushing through the dreamy smell, Gina directed, "So, you're just going to put your left foot back with my right. Then make your feet meet. Move over to the side... no other way. There you go. Feet meet. Same movement as before... no before that. Good... feet meet again..." She continued to show him this basic step, wondering how he had never learned how to slow dance before.

She wondered for a moment if Ricky had ever slow danced with Lily. Not the fast, new age dancing they were doing earlier. But legitimate, orchestrated slow dancing.

Ricky hadn't. And it was all he could think of the entire time he danced with Gina. He wondered when was the last time Lily had taken a moment out of her day to teach him something new... or to even acknowledge when he asked. Gina directed him slowly and with kindness, not making him feel bad or silly for not understanding. And he couldn't help but notice how radiant she looked under the twinkling lights and stars. It was all he could do to pay attention to what Gina was saying.

Ricky became so fixated on watching her, that as soon as he thought he had the movements down, he started messing them up again. To counter the awkwardness, Ricky spun Gina playfully under his arm. She giggled, which made Ricky feel about a thousand thuds in his chest.

If he wasn't dating Lily, he would have kissed her brilliant smile right then and there.

But Ricky was dating Lily which made watching Gina's face difficult because she seemed so irresistable. To counter his thoughts, he pulled Gina close to his chest, so her head was now laying on it while they swayed. He did it to avoid his impulsive thoughts, but somehow having her face touch him made it really hard to see past his feelings.

"Jet and Kourtney are the funniest pairing to me," Gina pondered out loud, completely unprompted. "Like, Jet is so grumpy sometimes. He is quiet and will sass anyone that gets too close to him. And then... there is Kourtney. Who is beautiful and kind and isn't afraid to take up a room. You would think that they would hate each other..."

"And yet," Ricky continued her thought, which made Gina pull her head back to fully hear what he had to say. "... they are perfect for each other".

In that moment, it hit Gina harder than it had the entire night. Ricky and Lily couldn't be any more unalike. She was brash and angry and made Ricky feel terrible. Ricky was more like a golden retriever who sometimes played a little too hard. He never wanted to hurt someone, but didn't know how to contain his teasing sometimes. They were complete opposites.

"... is Lily your 'and yet'?" Gina asked, trying to hide the sadness in her voice.

Ricky took a big breath, not because he was afraid of what to say, but because he didn't know what to say.

"What do you mean?" Ricky responded, his eyes searching Gina's, trying to understand where she was leading this conversation.

"Like you said... Kourtney and Jet should hate each other... and yet they're perfect together. You know everyone despises Lily (Ricky responded, "true") and sometimes it seems like you do too. And yet..."

Ricky didn't know what to say. What Gina was saying did make perfect sense in the context of Lily and him. But they didn't get along. They weren't perfect together. If they were, he would be at home, cuddling happily with her on the couch. But instead, he was slow dancing with another woman who he couldn't stop thinking about no matter how hard he tried.

Gina laid her head back on Ricky's chest after he didn't respond to her any further. Gina was expecting him to jump for joy and say that Lily was everything he could have hoped for. That he would take her over to that arch and marry her right now if he could. That Gina just reminded him of the love he had been missing all along.

But instead he was despondent and distant. It was like Gina had touched a nerve and she couldn't get happy Ricky back. All she wanted to do was hug him and tell him everything was going to be ok. But she also didn't want everything to be ok with Lily and him.

So, she kept dancing with him in silence.

The song ended and everyone- sitting and standing- cheered. Ricky and Gina's spirits came up with the next song and the next few after that. They danced and giggled and made fun of how each other danced (even though Ricky knew that Gina was only dancing badly to make him feel better).

At one point, Gina and Ricky walked over to Kourtney and Jet who were standing by the food table, taking a break from dancing. Gina gave Kourtney another overjoyed squeeze and said, "Kourtney, this was the best wedding ever. The wedding to top all weddings".

Kourtney pulled out of the hug, laughing. She was still holding onto Gina, when she used one hand to brush the side of Gina's head. "But?"

Gina didn't know how Kourtney could do that. Read her mind, practically. There was more Gina wanted to say, but she didn't want to make Kourtney feel bad.

"It's Saturday night... and I'm with you... and there are no..." Gina's eyes were glossing over, which made her feel a bit dumb about how emotional she was getting over a lame tradition in their decaying apartment.

"Wings," Kourtney smiled at Gina, her hand still on her head, giving Gina's hair a gentle squeeze.

Ricky raised his hand as though he was going to ask a question, but instead volunteered, "I can do it!"

Gina's head snapped around to look at Ricky. She was confused that he was so quick to help her with something so miniscule. But his hand raise had persistence.

"You want to get wings? I'll go get you some wings. There's a store right across the street from here," Ricky insisted, making Gina wonder why he suddenly wanted to come to her rescue.

Gina was grateful for his assistance, but he really didn't understand the context of what she was needing. "I'm sorry, Ricky. I don't think you know what I need wings for..."

Ricky's face dropped suddenly and in the blink of an eye he went from giddy to dejected. Gina felt incredibly bad for making him feel so useless, so much so that she turned around completely and immediately started defending the request.

"Oh, Ricky! I appreciate it. I do. So, so much. But Kourtney and I have had this Saturday night tradition where every weekend we get wings... and we've been doing it for years..."

"Except the last few months," Kourtney acknowledged, giving an apologetic shrug.

"But that's no ones fault. You had wedding planning... I had..." Gina was about to say "Jack", but Ricky's face still looked incredibly somber. Gina made herself shut up.

"Just because I'm moving out doesn't mean we can't keep our tradition up..." Kourtney started, before giving Ricky a knowing look. "And sometimes... traditions can be met with other people".

Gina's initial reaction was to panic. She wondered if Kourtney was really suggesting Ricky join her on such a special quest? If he could actually fulfill the duty of what her best friend was supposed to do?

Ricky, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to just make Gina happy. Not only had she been stood up that night (she hadn't mentioned Jack once), but she also was losing years worth of tradition to her best friend getting married (another loss). Ricky couldn't bear to see the same cloud come over her as it did earlier that day.

"Gina, let's go get you wings," Ricky pushed again, smiling at her sincerely.

Gina's finally let herself feel delighted at Ricky's generosity, because she knew that meant Ricky wanted to spend more time with her. And that was all she wanted that night too. Ricky nodded his head to encourage Gina's decision, so Gina finally accepted his act of service and said her good bye's to Kourtney and Jet.

As Ricky and Gina walked away for the night, Kourtney was standing in the background with Jet. She gleefully said, "let's go ahead and cancel that last event for the night. We can eat the wings once we get to the hotel".

Jet shook his head in amusement, before placing his arm around Kourtney's shoulder and her hand reaching up to grab his.

*********************************************

Ricky and Gina stopped along the way to Gina's apartment to get two boxes of the cheapest and sloppiest wings. Once they got into her apartment, they both surrendered themselves to the couch. Gina took off her heels and flung them across the room, before they simultaneously opened their boxes with joyful expressions.

Both of them sniffed the air happily before giggling and taking a huge bite out of each of their wings. Gina got up and grabbed some napkins, before sitting on the couch and turning on her TV.

Ricky, not sure where Gina was going next with the night asked, "Are we going to watch a show?"

Gina remembered that since the interaction with Kourtney, she had failed to inform Ricky about the entire tradition. She began to explain, "so the tradition is actually called 'Weekend. Wings. Women'. Kourtney and I get our wings, throw on our PJ's and watch a musical with an amazing lead woman. Sometimes there are male leads, but we absolutely watch it for the woman. It's like... this weird empowerment ritual we have".

Ricky didn't find it weird at all. In fact, he found it sweet that two best friends took out so much time to be with each other, especially living in one of the busiest and most populated places in the world. He couldn't remember the last time he intentionally hung out with Seb or Carlos alone. He made a mental note to reach out to one of them to do something fun that week together.

"What movie will we be watching, then?" Ricky said with a massive grin. Gina clicked the side of her mouth before shuffling through the available streaming services. She settled on Disney+ and asked if Ricky would be ok watching High School Musical 3.

After excitedly accepting (Ricky was secretly a huge fan of the franchise), the pair put the movie in and watched. Before they knew it, they were standing up in the living room, dancing and singing along to "I Want it All".

When the song ended, Ricky looked down to notice Gina was using a lightly sauced wing as a microphone. When Gina saw what he was seeing, the pair immediately burst out laughing. They couldn't stop for nearly a minute and then laughed even harder when Gina accidentally smacked herself on the cheek with her wing.

Ricky, nearly in tears, took the wing out of her hand and set it back into the box. "Here, let's put this down before you hurt yourself," he teased.

Gina started to cool off, now giggling lightly under her breath. When Ricky stood back up, he faced back at Gina. The two were looking deep into each other's eyes. Gina felt nervous and confused and excited. She was a bundle of emotions and the longer she met Ricky's gaze, the more out of control she felt.

And that was when he reached his hand to her face to wipe the sauce off her cheek with his thumb.

She wanted to kiss Ricky.

She wanted to kiss him bad.

But instead, when his hand dropped to his side, she lowered her voice and said, "this was the best Saturday night I've had in a long time".

Ricky continued to watch her, not breaking their moment with any sort of movement. He couldn't tell, but it seemed like Gina might have been moving closer to him. Little microscopic actions that made this scene feel like an eternity.

An eternity that Ricky was ok with not ending.

However, both of them thought about the same thing at the same time, and Gina finally said, "Lily... you... she probably wants to see you tonight".

Ricky wasn't sure why Gina was trying to kick him out so fast, but for whatever reason, she was done for the night. He could have sworn she was enjoying the connection they had, which made her switch up feel really unexpected. However, he wasn't going to push the issues. Respecting her wishes, he nodded his head and began to walk toward the door.

As Ricky made his way out, Gina asked, "wings for the road?"

Ricky paused facing the door. He turned around to request, "and still in the box. I'm a gentleman, Gi," before he gave her a sly wink.

And with that gesture, Gina felt herself melt into a puddle on the floor.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Michael/Harry (5sos + 1D) Masterlist

a dream for white light (ao3) - merlypops luke/calum, michael/harry G, 1k

Summary: A breeze picked up, stirring the dried autumn leaves where they were littering the tarmac around him. The wind seemed very localised - none of the trees edging the car park were moving and even the man sitting on the other side of the steps appeared unaffected - but Michael's hair was being tousled and the cool air felt like fingertips stroking his cheeks for a moment, reminding him that he wasn't alone. ‘Not now, Ash. Please not now.’

At Calum and Luke's wedding, Ashton helps Michael move on.

and i remember us now (ao3) - thedeathofhyacinth E, 2k

Summary: Michael hasn't seen Harry since the Brits and he feels homeless.

burnt eggs & broken promises (ao3) - kingscrossinseptember G, 4k

Summary: “…So after a month or two of getting hounded by people, I may or may not have invented a fictional boyfriend.”

Luke glanced up at Ashton with worried blue eyes, as if he was expecting to be berated for lying. Instead, Ashton shrugged. “I can see why.”

or,

Ashton’s always found his roommate, Luke, nothing but aggravating, but when they make a deal where Ashton has to pretend to be Luke’s boyfriend for a night, his opinion starts to shift slightly…

couldn't be what you need (he's just seventeen) (ao3) - zayndotcom E, 6k

Summary: "Michael's first encounter with Harry Styles after nearly two years of avoiding him couldn't have gone any worse if he tried. Fuck."

i just miss your accent and your friends (ao3) - bellawritess T, 2k

Summary: Of all the people Michael might have expected to see at the CALM release party, Harry Styles isn’t one.

I Just Miss Your Accent and Your Smile (ao3) - FayeHunter michael/calum, michael/harry E, 4k

Summary: "Harry (9:04am) I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I’m in LA if you want to hang.

Michael sits and stares at the text for a while, unsure if he’s fully comprehending what’s in front of him. It’s not unusual for Harry to text him when he’s in town, but normally he’s a little more subtle than this."

Or Harry's in town and Michael can't wait to see him again

Like Cardiac Arrest (high voltage when we kiss) (ao3) - orphan_account E, 4k

Summary: Michael didn’t want to do anything but accept this kiss from Harry at that moment. He forgot all of the words that were spinning around in his head and everything was quiet except the sound of Harry’s wet lips against his own. And that’s what Harry did, he made Michael forget.

Not That Important (ao3) - sammyswagstar M, 2k

Summary: "Michael tilted his head back further into the pillow, deciding he was doing too much thinking for a teenage boy about to have his brains fucked out." OR Michael and Harry have turned fucking into a regular thing between them and they might as well enjoy it.

some are like the heat (ao3) - clemmingtine M, 2k

Summary: The heat is driving Michael insane. Or maybe it's just Harry. Set during TMH.

somehow you kicked all my walls in (ao3) - estrella30 E, 15k

Summary: Enough time passes between the last Manchester show and the next time he sees Harry that Michael thinks he probably imagined everything that had happened between the two of them.

or, Harry and Michael hook up a lot over the course of the tour

something to prove (nothing to lose) (ao3) - bellawrites T, 1k

Summary: Michael props himself up on his elbows and gives Harry a blank stare. “You want to finish the chess game? Instead of make out?”

Voices Singing (Let's Be Jolly) (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) T, 4k

Summary: Harry loves Christmas and singing in his community choir. Michael hates Christmas but is playing the piano for their holiday concert, anyway.

we'll stumble through it all (ao3) - nemesina77 T, 6k

Summary: “You’re Twitter flirting with Harry Styles.”

“This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”

Luke leans in, impossibly closer. “Michael, this is a life-changing moment. One day you’ll look back and remember this and it’ll be the moment that changed the rest of your life, for better or worse.”

Ashton huffs and Michael’s eyes bug out impossibly bigger. “Wow Luke, way to freak him out even more. Just trust your gut Mikey, it’s worked so far.”

Will You Marry Me? (ao3) - kallie_larry_forever G, 1k

Summary: Michael is proposing to his boyfriend and Harry is so oblivious to what is going on

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #176

Do you think you could handle a job in the medical field? Why or why not? No. I could never handle a patient dying, and there's also a lot of gross stuff I don't want to see.

What is one electronic device you own that you have not used in a long time? A Nintendo DS Lite.

Do you prefer to play chess or checkers? I only know how to play checkers.

If you had to go an entire week without using any technology, what do you think you would spend most of your time doing instead? Reading, drawing, writing, probably exercising extra. I'm sure I'd be way, way more productive...

Would you rather travel to Asia or France? Asia, I think.

Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? My preference is milk chocolate, but I also do enjoy dark. There are very few cases where I've liked white chocolate, it's too sweet.

Would you rather visit Australia, Germany, Croatia, or Jamaica? I fully intend to visit Germany at least once.

Would you prefer a pet rat, mouse, snake, lizard or spider? If I could only pick one to have period, snake. At this moment though, like what I most want to add to my family now, is a tarantula, either a Brazilian black or skeleton leg.

Have you ever fallen into a hole or crevice whilst hiking? I've never even been hiking.

A romantic meal, a trip to a theme park, or go to a concert? In general I'd prefer to go to a concert as a date, however Girt actually doesn't enjoy concerts so I wouldn't drag him to one. With him, I'll take the theme park, when my legs are a-okay.

How often do you wear necklaces? Basically never because all the ones I have start to bother my skin really quick/turn it greenish. I want a necklace I can keep on so bad, I really love how they look. If I'm putting any of my necklaces on now, it's for going out somewhere.

Would you rather wear a bracelet or a necklace? Necklaces, I actually don't like bracelets for the same reason I don't like long-sleeved shirts that thin out/get stretchy at the ends (I know that is so specific and you probably have no idea what I'm talking about), I don't at all like feeling something tight-ish around my wrists. I'm the same about pants that only reach my ankles.

When was the last time you had a donut? Maybe like, a month ago. Or more.

What’s your favorite song by Miley Cyrus? I genuinely do love "The Climb."

Who do you absolutely adore? My boyfriend and his immediate family, my own mom, nieces and nephew, Mazzy, and Tez. I care about more people, but as far as "adore" goes, it's them.

Have you ever had a crush on a kinda-country boy? lol no, I don't think I've ever been romantically attracted to a notably "country" guy.

Do you care about any of your exes at all? I care most about Jason, but no longer in a romantic sort of way. Of course I still feel some amount of softness towards Sara, but I can't truthfully say I "care" about her anymore. I just have nostalgia with her.

Who last slapped your butt? Probably my friend Chelsea, we used to be really close when I was still friends with her sister, and we were sexually playful with each other in a completely "just joking" kind of way, neither of us actually felt anything romantic. She's married with a kid now.

Where have you lived throughout your life? The same general area of eastern North Carolina, near the coastal plain/Piedmont divide.

What kind of cake did you have for your last birthday? I actually didn't want a cake, we got donuts instead.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Many. I'm more prone to anxiety attacks, but panic attacks have definitely happened.

Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? Yes, my mom's at the start of next month and my nephew's in the middle of August.

When at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap? I probably would if it was messy food.

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? Electric.

Are your biceps at all noticeable? lol no

When are you moving next? I don't know. It's looking to be very possible that our landlord will be selling this house and getting us into another somehow, things are very uncertain right now, and if that doesn't happen it will probably be whenever Girt and I hopefully move in together.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? No.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No.

Do you call your boyfriend “Monkey”? I've seen this question appear in so many surveys over all the years and I have never understood why, I know literally nobody who does this.

Would you rather go to Greece or France? Greece.

How would you spend a day at the beach? At this moment I wouldn't go to the beach, not until my legs are stronger; the last time I visited the beach, my muscle atrophy was kinda early on, and I struggled VERY BADLY walking in the sand. While great progress has been made, I just don't think I'm ready to where I'd be able to enjoy the experience. But anyway, to answer the question in general, I tend to stay in the water; I hate the feeling of sand but love being in the ocean. I'm sure we'd bring a tent thing for shade, so I'd probably sit under that with the people I'm with, maybe have some snacks or read. I'd definitely bring my camera to try to get some nice pictures. Hopefully one day soon I CAN go on a vacation like this and not be in torment lol.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? No. Like everyone though I've definitely experienced the ear popping in planes and even when driving through mountains.

Was the last show you watched a re-run? Not for me, no; Ma and I were watching Deadliest Catch, some of the first season. She's seen it at some point.

What’s your biggest priority right now? Improving my physical health, I think. I've gotten too far to let it start slipping again.

What does it feel like to fall asleep in someone’s arms? If I'm not hot, I absolutely love it. In the spooning sense anyway lol, if we're PROPERLY lying down so we're actually comfortable, I am such a cuddlebug. If I'm sitting up in some way, then I'm uncomfortable/am gonna wake up feeling like death lol.

Do you recall the first time that you learned the truth about sex? 5th grade, sex ed/"family life" classes. I feel like a rare exception where my parents actually never taught me about this stuff, so my education on it was very aggressively abstinence-based and made HIV/AIDS sound like a total death sentence that you'd contract from your very first pre-marital intercourse. I am very unhappy with how I was taught about my own body parts and men's, like there is still probably so much stuff I don't know and it's honestly pretty embarrassing.

Do you need the opinion of others to make yourself feel worthwhile? uh... admittedly, right now, yes. I am very, very bad about needing external validation, because otherwise I'm convinced I'm an awful person who shouldn't treasure herself. This is a very major problem with me that I'm still trying to fix.

Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? ugh ew no, I hate feet

What is one thing you fantasize or daydream about doing? Being able to support myself with nature photography, going all over the world seeing amazing things...

What would you rather: lethal injection, electric chair, or hanging? Lethal injection sounds by far the least painful... I'd think. I guess I don't know exactly what the body experiences during these.

Have you taken someone's virginity? No.

What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I'd be pretty fucking pissed off, especially when one of his relationship dealbreakers is cheating, so wouldn't that be ironic. I'd break up with him immediately and probably stop talking to him. Wow I don't like this question, even when I have full trust in him to never do this.

Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? lmfao yes he's very aware

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? He was leaving to go home.

Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No.

Who would you like to see in concert? Rammstein is fucking obviously #1 lol, even before I was super super into them I woulda gone because their concerts are very highly praised. I'd also really like to go with my mom to a Metallica concert (she would fucking die), as well as In This Moment, who she also likes a whole lot. I would include Ozzy here, but he seems to be done touring and probably should be with his health state. There are plenty of other bands I'd go see, I really like concerts, but those are the immediate, strong answers for me.

Who was the first person to ever ask you out? I think one of the boys that harassed me in pre-k, but honestly I don't even know if we knew what "asking out" was yet, there were just two boys who would chase and try to kiss me during recess.

What's one thing your partner must be able to accept about you? Sometimes I need time to myself, and also that I'm a mentally ill person that is not always going to be in happy shape.

Are there any videos of yourself on YouTube? No, not to my memory. Certainly not on my current account.

What’s one thing that’s annoying you about the book you’re reading now? It doesn't majorly annoy me, but Sutherland has a very strong habit of overusing separating paragraphs for emphasis, in my opinion. She's slightly more dramatic than I prefer in reading.

Do you have trouble letting friends go when you need to? YUP SURE FUCKIN DO

If you had a daughter, would you allow sleepovers? I'm going to guess you're implying her sleeping over with a boy, because obviously I'd allow her female friends to????? I probably would allow sleepovers with a boy she's actually dating only once she hits 16; I know what I did at 16 with my boyfriend, and I was abstinent then, I'm not inviting my teenage daughter to get pregnant if we can avoid it. I also include the fact they'd better be actually, officially dating because I'd likely wring a fucker's neck if he tried to lead my daughter on by never committing.

Which do you like better, your first name or your middle name? My first, I'm thankful I actually like my first name lol. My middle name is pretty imo, but it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO common.

Where is your brother? He lives in Tennessee, but I actually don't think he's there right now; he's been traveling the country doing track races in I think he's aiming for every state.

Do you like using terms of endearment? Yes, I am extremely verbally affectionate.

Do you have any plans for tomorrow? Yeah, Girt's gonna be coming over.

What's the longest movie you've ever seen? I THINK Troy, but I'm unsure. I don't generally like super long movies, by like around two hours I'm done.

What was the last thing you wrote down in the notes app on your phone? I have one list of drawing ideas, and I added something to that.

Would you ever want to visit South Korea? Nah, I'm not particularly interested.

[amassgraveofsaints]

start somewhere

as i write this, it's june 18th, 2023.

mom is out on a business trip, dad is asleep, not for long though as he has to wake up in a few minutes.

it's my friend's birthday, and while the day is young and it's a worthwhile reason to celebrate, this is the lowest i've been in a while.

i was supposed to go to new york with my dad last night, my idea of an early father's day gift, however earlier he fell and hit his head on a table. thankfully, he's okay, though it did put a scare on me and a damper on my mood for a good portion of the day.

he's still in high spirits, eager to care for his youngest as always, and just as ready to go to work like every other day, and i can't blame him. can't let small mistakes ruin your mood.

i feel as though i'm wired different from most, though. either that or all those small mistakes are piling up, as when i walked alone for the first time in years to the supermarket, everything just... hit me.

i remember when, too. 6:45pm; an hour and 15 minutes before aew collision, and around the time the first openers were to come on at that show.

maybe it was the music. maybe it was the situation i found myself in. maybe it was the loneliness. maybe it was the shoes, which i had bought for that concert and i saw as a reminder of how much my parents love me in spite of the stupid shit i ask of them daily.

i looked tired on the outside, and i was looking for tea, so to the passerby, i'd probably just look like i was looking for a pick-me-up. internally, all of my fears, sins, and bad memories had come back with a vengeance.

there's way more negative i can say about myself than positive, but there's only so much time in the world for me to bring it all up, and the one thing i hate worse than myself is how little time there is in the world.

i can't spend forever looking back or looking forward. and yet i despise looking at the now. the past looks empty, the future looks like nothing, and the present looks even lesser than both.

but this doesn't stop the clock from ticking. and ticking. and ticking.

midnight always comes one way or another, no matter what we do.

and so the clock moved, and yet as it moved i forgot everything i did in that supermarket.

i got my stuff and left, and everything else is a blur.

i got home at around 7:58, eager to watch aew collision with my dad in lieu of the concert. i gave him the father's day gift i was to give him today then and there, and he embraced me for a hug.

aew collision began, and we watched. and as i watched, all my fears had vanished.

dm's from friends rolled in as one spectacle happened that night after another. me and my dad were ecstatic at the big spots.

it didn't fully hit me, but i understood at that moment, something i probably won't understand again in my life.

time is finite, and ever crawling. one day we will be here, the next we won't. make the most of things that disrupt your pattern. spend what you have with people you care about. chess, or a funny co-op game, or watching tabloid news shows/pro wrestling together. even if it's only for a little bit, or if it's mundane, cherish it.

as i write this, it's june 18th, 2023.

it's 4:50 am, dad is asleep. he's only slept a handful of hours due to caring for me amidst mom not being here, and yet the couple of times he woke up he's still got a smile on his face and a thumb pointed upwards.

it's my friend's birthday, a day we started off with by playing chess and cod at the same time, many a laugh to be had before she went to sleep.

i'm alone in my bed. i feel nothing like the alone i was at the supermarket.

i'm 20.

my friend is 20.

my mom is 53, 54 this wednesday.

my dad is 47, 48 next month.

the clock moves.

i know our time is finite, but for now at least, all i see is "today after today after today".

tomorrow, at night, mom will be back from her business trip and things will be back to normal, most likely.

uncle wakes up to go to work at 4:50pm, dad comes home at 5:30pm, i watch inside edition at 7pm, and the occasional chat with my online friends throughout.

last night was an outlier, as dad was off work the whole day and it's the first time since february me and him spent the whole day together.

that time we went to a concert.

this time we didn't.

there's more chances, and i won't let this roadblock fuck my day up for now.

even as things go back to business as usual, i will, at least for a couple of days, learn to appreciate today for what it is. maybe even convince dad to go to a concert next week just for us to make up for it.

will he agree? probably not.

but if not, then at least i'll have a newfound appreciation for the time we all spend together.

after all, you never know when the clock will stop unti

[ssadumba55]

Spencer Reid x Fem!Punk!Reader Headcanons

Request: Last request I swear! Can I please request headcanons for Spencer Reid falling in love with a woman who's a genius like him but is bold, rebellious, and wild with a punk aesthetic to match?

This would actually be really cute because Reid would 100% not know how to act around you at all

Sure, he's been around powerful badass women and he appreciates them but he's never been around a woman quite like you. You have a lot of confidence that he isn't used to and your music taste isn't quite the same as his

He's surprised to find he likes you anyway. You're new and you're not just a pretty face. You're smart, you can keep up with him even when others would normally fade away.

The two of you play chess together, read books, solve puzzles, even sit and watch Doctor Who.

Although you refuse to listen to classical music with him. It's nice but just because you're a 'nerd' doesn't mean you have to listen to boring music with no lyrics. Punk music really speaks to you in a way that Beethoven never could.

A lot of times people who don't know the two of you are very confused how you get along. You seem to be completely opposite of each other, there's no way your relationship would ever work in their opinion

Often times, you have to tell people off for either being rude or ignoring his cues/discomfort. He appreciates you immensely for it.

He's not a huge PDA guy but he will hold your hand in public. However, he will cuddle lots in private and will most often initiate it.

If you have dyed hair, he loves it. He thinks it looks really good on you but he will definitely glare at you if you ever suggest he should dye his own.

Tell me he wouldn't take you to a concert (even if it's not really his scene) just to make you smile

and then tell me you wouldn't take him to a fancy library and sit and read with him

Seriously, dates with you guys are either really loud and exciting or quiet and uneventful

But neither of you would rather it any other way

Pretty sure the team would be wary of you at first, like who is this weird person dating Reid. But they would quickly grow to love you too. You can't tell me that you wouldn't get along with Garcia the best, she would love you so much. She may not be punk but she still appreciates the aesthetic.

[tothe8andbeyond]

D-8 SVT 5TH ANNIVERSARY: FAVORITE GOING SEVENTEEN EPISODE - MT SVT REALITY, GOSE 2019 EP 3-4 & 7, DEBATE NIGHT, SVT PLAYGROUND, DON'T LIE, BOO SEUNGKWAN'S PAST LIFE DESTINY, INSOMNIA ZERO (#2), AND MORE

Season 1 began in 2017 (another reason 2017 is ironically Seventeen's year) and SVT content was changed forever.

It began as more of a behind the scenes with everything from Don't Wanna Cry, Diamond Edge, Clap promo, and all the fansigns inbetween. This season just made me really sad I wasn't a carat sooner but it was a cool vlog for the boys and they were so excited to be filmed, precious bubs. I don't really have a favorite episode but here are some iconic/favorite moments

"Goiiiiing.. SEVENTEEN!" "goinggoing~~~"

Covering the camera with Hoshi's hand

"What if I die?!" "Then you die!"

SVT Energy Skincare™

Jun leaving people "frozen"

Angry MC Santa Wonwoo

Asking for the unicorn frap at Starbucks and having the order total turn out to be $17 thus triggering the members

Minghao flexing on everyone's life (again) on the trampoline

Hoshi being depressed about not getting bday wishes

Dino's "fanboys"

"Americano, aMEricano, ameRIcano, ameriCANo, americanO"

Make It Shine blooper

The dog from the concert poster photoshoot

Dabhao was thriving

My I behind the scenes 🥰

Any Junhao moment bc I'm whipped

Little 8 practicing his singing 🥺

Trauma (Seungkwan remix)

Spin-Off started introducing us more to GoSe in a variety format

We got variety-esque episodes like with the members cooking, writing letters to themselves, making flower crowns, drawing, and the arcade episode! But it was still mostly vlog-esque where we got to see behind the scenes of Thanks, Ideal Cut Concerts, Japan Arena Tour, 3rd Anniversary, their exhibit, Oh My/YMMD, and BSS promo. Again making me emo I wasn't a carat earlier missing all these iconic moments 🥺

My favorite episode is easily MT SVT REALITY and Hoshi yelling out the window still might be one of the most iconic moments ever, PERIOD. My other fave moments include

DK and Jeonghan fake laughing for like 5 mins straight

Minghao's mullet, period.

Driver Minghao for TTT

Jun abandoning DK to help Wonwoo with his apron instead

The birth of the legendary "T H E to the 8" rap (feat. the return of imma)

Producer Woozi

Episode 20 (yes I have that memorized) when Minghao hosts a cute little hotel date 🥺 he tells fans not to think of him romantically and then pulls this shit pretending to feed us and everything which is why I'm sad lol

Minghao's giggle when he did the bottle flip 🥺

Vernon full on losing it during an arcade game while Hao who's playing with him is dead silent

V8 vs. older bros

"you're over, Yoon Jeonghan"

Junnie winning at the fighting game uwu

The iconic Thinkin About You looks

That pose Jeonghan does that screams "your crush is coming, act natural"

Mingyu getting too excited and spitting on the cake so the members cover it but Mingyu thinks they're doing a team cheer

Hoshi screaming "2 captains!" repeatedly while Woozi regrets his life's decisions

Killing the8 in mafia just for returning from China

GoSe 2019 was the birth of the true variety show. They even made a theme song and everything 🤣😭 SVT are such natural entertainers ohmygod (and the editors really stepped up their game thank u staffs)

There was still some behind the scenes like the 4th Anniversary, Japan concerts, and Minghao instructing for Chinese Ver. of home, but they kind of started transitioning behind the scenes content to a different spot on the channel and honestly carats are so well fed with content #blessed. ALSO THIS WAS AROUND THE TIME I BECAME A FAN IM EMO

My absolute fave eps are the ones when they were brainstorming their own ideas for the show (3-4), the making of the intro/theme (7), debate night, and SVT playground but honestly the whole fucking season has so many iconic moments

Vernon not being able to read red marker bc of his red glasses

Jun's 1+1

Honestly it's so entertaining hearing them talk about their ideas even without them implementing them yet, they're seriously so creative

They do skits/roles so well like Jun pretending he's from the Chinese restaurant next door and Woozi being CEO of Going Entertainment dndkdk I cannot make this shit up

"Jeonghan act tired" Jeonghan: *fully falls to the floor and drags his body to the couch djdkdkdkkdld he's so fucking dramatic I'm still dying at this

Wonhao running around dead S.Coups

Minghao doing the going dance down the stairs (flexing again)

Pabo latte

Enthusiastic Minghao in Japan 🥺

The MBTI hidden camera

Diva Boo being pissed he didn't get Beyonce's MBTI but someone else did

Monsta X saving them at karaoke

Pigeon DK thriving during debate night

Geppetto Minghao looking fine af during debate night "I said so many nonsenses, I hope you liked it"

TTT fun - meerkat line rise, Jeonghan and Hoshi catching bugs but screaming the whole time, network love unit playing except Hao and he just gives them a cute "fighting!" Like they're his kids but he's just trying to relax lol, more mafia, Jun being hilarious during try not to laugh, S.Coups wanting to kill the staff (as usual), THE MEMBERS PLAYING WITH KITTENS

Froghao was thriving during svt playground

Bothering Woozi during secret santa

Hao's face when Jeonghan took the iPad

Dino literally got gifted a brick??

Junnie's light up grills

GoSe 2020 continues the variety so well and each member gets a month! So sad they shortened the theme but they gave us subs! Also the previews for next episode are great! They also stepped up the editing too. They are all working so hard for this and it really pays off

My favorite episodes so far are Don't Lie, Seungkwan's Past Life Destiny, and Insomnia Zero (especially part 2). I'm so damn hyped for Debate Night 2. Again so blessed for this content 😭🙌

It's harder to list moments when the entire episodes are iconic!!

DK failing at his own mystery food game

Minghao literally lucky number 8

The saga of Minghao being amazed at Mingyu's eating continues

Hoshi singlehandedly admitting he's mafia then getting Mingyu killed instead then openly killing the citizens at night without needing to hide and then winning the game ohmygod I cannot at how fucking wild and hilarious this episode was

Sleepy Jun during Seungkwan's Past Life Destiny

Junhao, evil twins, seoksoon, mingyuzi rise

Dino rejecting Mingyu with a moonwalk

The overall betrayal of couples omg

SA DALLA

Jun showing the Made in China tag djdkkd

Limbo was fucking wild

The members are all whipped for Woozi that shit made me soft as hell

Talking shit when other members are trying to sleep

Woozi loves dad jokes so much omg

They are so damn dramatic for the ASMR in Insomnia Zero pt 2 omg

TASTY

Jeonghan purposely not answering Hoshi's call to come back

Hoshi giggling that Woozi lost and Woozi fully having a crisis

Wonwoo identity crisis as one of the chill members

Brain Survival and Escape Room made my brain hurt but they're so smart

Minghao jump scare poor bb

Kicked out members becoming audience reactors

DK and Jeonghan fucking around with the props instead of helping

Their delivery food episode just made me hungry

S.Coups not flinching one bit at arm wrestling Hoshi

Trying to act cool when the move spots on the chess board

Seungkwan's wipe out

Getting debate night 2 really saved my life I can't wait for the rest of 2020

I typed way more than I should have but I just love Going Seventeen and all Seventeen content, being a carat really is a blessed life!

[antialiasis]

Chess - 1990 Long Beach version

Honestly I was very pleasantly surprised by this one? It's apparently a slightly modified take on the Broadway version, which I had the general impression was pretty poorly received, but whether it's Broadway or the modifications, in many ways I think this one works best of the three versions of Chess I have watched so far.

Florence is distinctly the main protagonist here; we open with a sequence with her child self and her father who's been teaching her to play chess (he's the one who sings "The Story of Chess"), and the narrative is pretty focused around her generally. Florence actually plays chess in this one! Not even just as a child, with Freddie too! She gets all the added Florence bits that were in the Sydney version but also more focus otherwise (the book here has a lot more dialogue and less singing than the previous two). The pacing is solid, they do sell the romance okay, Anatoly is sympathetically troubled as he is suffocated by political pressure (Molokov goes a lot further in this one, telling Anatoly all about how by the way Svetlana's lost her house, and so has his brother, oh and his brother's five-year-old son has had an """accident""", since he defected).

(Walter, meanwhile, is made less of a total asshole in the end here, which feels a little funny given in the first half he definitely felt like a total asshole and I feel kind of disoriented by exactly at what point he stopped being that or whether there was any kind of sensible trigger for it. I can't help but feel like this version made for American audiences wanted to make the American government the Good Guys and the Soviet government the Bad Guys, which is pretty eye-roll-worthy. Chess in Concert made them both manipulative assholes, but in distinct ways, and that feels a lot better thematically.)

Freddie, again, gets no redemption arc and no "Talking Chess"... but he does feel coherent in his pathetic, toxic, pitiable sort of way, in a way I didn't really feel in the Sydney version. In this one, Anatoly is actually the reigning champion and Freddie is the challenger (like in the Sydney version, it's just one championship match and it's Anatoly and Freddie all the way through); Freddie feels kind of generally portrayed as just not actually that great of a chess player, and has an insecurity streak a mile wide, angry about losing or being challenged. After Florence leaves him for Anatoly he's just made of raging impotent jealousy for the entire rest of the play; "One Night in Bangkok" is a montage of him boozing and womanizing instead of showing up to his matches for a while after she quits. "Pity the Child" is him in his hotel room and ends with him curling up wrapping himself up in his blanket, which feels pretty appropriate in its childlikeness.

During the final match (which Anatoly is late for, like in the Sydney version, but this time it's because he's desperately distracted by the whole we're-physically-threatening-your-five-year-old-nephew thing, and Florence actually encourages him to show up), Freddie is a nervous wreck and can't concentrate - only for Anatoly to throw the match and let him win anyway, for the sake of Florence and her father (yes, originally the whole point was his refusal to throw the match and then in this version he just casually does the exact opposite of what the original ending was about; welcome to Chess, apparently). Freddie obliviously assumes Anatoly just made a mistake and accepts victory, never to learn that he should've lost this one. All in all Freddie is a reasonably well-portrayed character here, I think - a character who is a terrible, pathetic, petulant bundle of issues who learns nothing, and I don't enjoy him the way I enjoy Chess in Concert Freddie, but he makes sense and you can feel a little sorry for him.

At the very end here, Florence actually reunites with her father, thanks to Anatoly's sacrifice; it's a little unclear exactly how, since Walter tells her Anatoly thought he was being exchanged for her father when really it was for an agent and they weren't able to find her father, but then I think(?) Anatoly's friends have just managed to hunt him down anyway? I gather in the original Broadway version, Molokov brought in an actor to pretend to be her father and it ended with Walter telling her actually sorry that wasn't your father, your real father's probably dead, goodbye. Which is profoundly twisted. Weirdly I don't entirely hate that, in that "politics screws everyone over terribly" is a theme here and boy, that sure is some politics screwing everyone over in the most enraging possible way. On the other hand, the ending here where Florence does get screwed out of her relationship with Anatoly but also does reunite with her father is nice and cathartic without entirely killing the overall vibe.

There were some slightly awkward bits with song placements and such. I particularly noticed how "Nobody's Side", which is placed after "Florence Quits" here, just doesn't make as much sense - her feelings about Freddie during "Nobody's Side" are obviously supposed to be way more ambivalent than she naturally ought to be right now after he's just gone full woman-hating dick on her and also nearly hit her. You see your present partner in the imperfect tense, now? You don't see how you can last? Did you not just already full-on walk out on him, Florence?! "I Know Him So Well" also just hits weirdly when Florence has known him for the space of exactly one (1) chess tournament, instead of for an entire year (I felt the same with the Sydney version). I was also actually expecting "Someone Else's Story" to come a bit later than it did - I'd been thinking that the line in it about "I could be in someone else's story / In someone else's life / And he could be in mine" was a major giveaway that it was originally written for Florence who actually has a specific him that she'd be thinking of there, but at least here, it happens before she gets to properly know Anatoly, which surprised me. (But then again "Nobody's Side", which is usually placed there, also has a line suggesting Florence is already thinking of Anatoly in a romantic context for some reason - at least that's how I read "The one I should not think of keeps rolling through my mind". It doesn't make any sense to me that Florence has anything resembling romantic feelings for Anatoly before the mountain/terrace duet. I'm just confused by this generally.)

Also, it bugged me that when Anatoly was obviously being threatened and coerced into returning to Russia, Florence seemed to immediately take it like he just wanted to go back? What are you talking about, Florence, why are you not listening to him or showing the slightest sympathy about this.

Overall, this version definitely feels a lot more... black and white than London/Chess in Concert (ha ha, chess, black and white). One of the things I enjoyed about Chess in Concert was it being pretty gray about things. Freddie is terrible but also increasingly unhappy about being manipulated until he decides to help Anatoly; Anatoly is sympathetically suffocated by politics but also spends the climax fiercely arguing with Florence and Svetlana on why he's not going to lose the match for their sake; Walter and Molokov are slimy and manipulative but all in a relatively benign sort of way. This one has much harder, clearer lines. Anatoly is a good guy: he's sympathetic, his marriage to Svetlana hadn't been much for many years and she's accepting of the affair, during the final match he makes a noble self-sacrifice for Florence's sake because obviously she's more important than a chess match and his freedom. Freddie is a bad guy: he's terrible and pathetic and abusive and while he has his Freudian excuse he has no redeeming qualities. Walter is a good guy, somehow, in the end: he tells Florence everything, and that they did all they could to get her father. Molokov is a bad guy: he threatens innocents and all his friendly remarks about his wife are lies because he's never even been married. It's not really bad, exactly, but it does make it a bit less nuanced, just not quite as interesting.

But, all in all, I think by itself this version was a pretty decent musical, which successfully kept me interested and made me care about the characters while it was going on. If this had been the first one I'd watched, I'd have felt reasonably positively about it. But I still wouldn't have latched onto it the way I latched onto my favorite bits of Chess in Concert, which were pretty specific to my brain.