#I hope you know I miss you every day

[taytofry]

I’ll always be alone without you. It’s the consequence of still existing.

No white horse right.

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 7: i miss my wife bonbon

[milktea-grn]

🕸

[tunastime]

hiccuping tears into the shoulder + ranchers by chance?

hiccuping tears into their shoulder (1087 words) (x)

For the first time in a good, long portion of his life, Tango despises how silent the night gets. It's not without its natural noise—the balmy, sticky humidity and breeze in the grass, or the crickets, the cicadas quieting down, the sounds of animals rearranging themselves to a comfier sleeping arrangement. He should be doing the same, but he's sitting on the edge of the bed, his spine a rigid line. He can feel the blood in his body, he can feel the spaces where his muscles connect to each other, with every breath he can feel his lungs separate out the oxygen. It's at the very least startling, and at the very most, he feels like he might dissolve on the spot if touched. 

Tango knows how death feels—painless respawn and a few seasons of a life game behind him, but to feel someone else die, too. The echo of death alongside your own. He didn't like that! Not good at all. All his blood and heartbeat-y things are rushing around in his ears. He doesn't even hear Jimmy the first time he speaks up from the other side of the bed, with how his voice scrapes out.

"I didn't know they were aiming for us," Jimmy says.

"Of course not," Tango says, furrowing his eyebrows. "I know you didn't."

He's still looking at his hands, running his thumb over the lines in his palm and pushing into the tiny bones and muscle there. Jimmy flexes his hands like he can feel the pressure and bones moving around. He watches him fold his hand tight around each other and slump, pulling his shoulders to his chest. His breath squeezes in his chest as Jimmy deflates tiredly.

"I just don't want you to think—"

"I'm not gonna think this is your fault, alright?" Tango says, frowning at him. "Why would I?"

Jimmy sighs. His jaw works.

"Cause it usually is," he grits. Tango scrunches his nose on instinct, recoiling out of habit before he manages:

"That's not fair, man."

"This whole game isn't far!" Jimmy huffs, waving a hand about.

"Sure but—"

"But nothing, Tango. I just—I can't lose and drag you with me. That's more than not fair."

"I don't care."

"I care."

Before Tango can argue, though, he tastes the faintest hints of anger and frustration at the back of his mouth fade. He watches Jimmy's face contort as he tries to come up with a better sentence, something he probably thinks Tango deserves. Maybe an apology. 

Tango just looks at him. He kind of feels bad, that little bit of gut wrenching cold that trickles in, but mostly he's just confused. Jimmy's words bat around in his brain like dust particles. Dust bunnies. He definitely assumed they were done with this. That maybe Jimmy made peace like he did—though really he hadn't had that much time to make peace, if he's being honest. He's still bitter. He's sure a lot of people are still bitter. But in terms of Jimmy's whole situation? It's not like it could be helped. They just had to be careful. So Tango was being careful, and Jimmy was taking what Tango thought was a calculated risk, so he was mad, sure, but he couldn't really stay mad for a long time. So he takes a long breath and sighs it out his nose. It still tastes surprisingly reminiscent of smoke.

"So what are we going to do?" he asks softly. Jimmy inhales.

"I don't know," he says. "Go to bed? Wake up and start planning?"

Tango hums plainly. He likes that idea. The small spool of feeling in his chest that must belong to Jimmy gives a little tug, like it wanted to take him down with it. 

"Yeah," Tango says, voice coming hoarse. "Yeah, I think so."

For a moment, Tango runs his tongue over his teeth, runs his thumbs over the seams of his knees. He sighs, and then he leans into Jimmy's shoulder with a definitive huff. He's tired. From the ache in his bones, to the breathlessness of dying, to just taking in Jimmy's stress. Man. He's exhausted. Jimmy snorts quietly. He feels him press his cheek against Tango's head. The hand Jimmy had been fiddling with in his lap ends up at the base of his spine, splayed over the fabric. Tango squeezes his eyes shut.

"Thanks Tango," Jimmy says shakily. He sounds like he's on the knife's edge of crying, so Tango fumbles out a hand and lands it solidly on his knee. It's not a terribly comfortable thing to stretch one of his achy shoulders or biceps that far but he does anyway, and Jimmy huffs out a damp laugh. "Guess I'm just... pissed off."

Tango snorts.

"If you think you're pissed, just wait until they rile me up," he says into the fabric of Jimmy's shirt. Jimmy laughs. Tango tries to hold in a grin that he also smothers into his shoulder, but fails. Jimmy's hand skips over his knuckles and squeezes the hand on his knee.

"Sure thing, Rancher," he teases. Tango makes a half-suppressed noise of indignation, squeaking as he bolts upright. He nearly knocks into Jimmy's jaw as he untangles himself with all the grace of a cat trying to weasel out of someone's arms. 

"I'm just sayin'," he grumbles, crinkling his nose. "You seem like you're in a better mood though."

Jimmy sighs, rounding out his shoulders. 

"Think so," he says, working his cheek between his teeth. Tango feels the sensation of prodding in his mouth. Bleh. "Think so."

"Probably a good idea to make good on that sleeping... thing,” he says, reaching up to scrub at his eyes. He barely stifles a yawn as Jimmy stretches, twisting his tall body around in a way that feels surprisingly pleasant to Tango’s stiff muscles. He can’t imagine, especially with the way Jimmy holds all his emotions in his shoulders, that his upper back is doing him any favors. Jimmy makes a little noise in confirmation as Tango turns, attempting to make ample space for him in the small bed. He knows they’ll end up back to back at some point, but as he lies down, shoulder to shoulder, an easy comfort rolls over him. Sure there’s all the red blood rushing around in his ears, and sure he feels it right up on his skin like a bad rash, but for now, next to Jimmy, he shuts his eyes.

They’ll make this time count for something, at least.

[i-like-forcefem]

Hey so uh I wanted to ask about that candy bar you gave me at the Halloween party last night, I ate it before bed (it tasted really good) but when I woke up I started to notice some things. My voice sounds kinda softer and higher pitched than before, my body feels tingly and kinda soft, my hair looks a lot longer and fuller than I remember it being, and every time I look in the mirror I think I look thinner than before...my clothes feel uncomfortable...people have been saying I look and sound cute and every time they compliment me I start blushing...n-not that I'm in any pain, don't worry, it's just...uh...w-where did you get that candy bar from again?

Awwww, well cutie the bars are ones I make by with plenty of love, specially for Halloween and a secret recipe I can’t just share with anyone

But since you seem to enjoy them so much let’s make a little deal!

I’ll let you Trick or Treat everyday! Just come here with a new fun outfit everyday and you’ll never run out of candy bars!

That said the bars work the best if you eat them everyday (and they can have quite some withdrawal symptoms) and I only have you the first bar because your costume was so so adorable and cute and feminine, and just so you know you’ve set the standard now cutie!

If you want more candy bars you better come back in an even cuter outfit, and also make sure to walk here in broad daylight where everyone can see! No cars allowed, most of the fun from Halloween is that anyone can see your costume, so you do need the show off phase

Got it cutie? Good Girl! Now take one more bar as a free-bee and I expect you here in much more appropriate clothing tomorrow, if you want another bar of course

[arcanegifs]

[sciderman]

i opened tumblr during lunch and the first thing i saw was peter parker britney spears. two of my friends stared at my phone and audibly went “oh” thank you for the blessing

i've had so many people tell me "sci. the only thing i know about you is spider-man and britney spears". and i think that's all there is. you're welcome.

[spaghett-onaplate]

depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

[dykedvonte]

I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

[mejomonster]

being sad because of chronic illness is like... go to therapist. therapist says "well don't be so negative! maybe you can go do X more!" and you're like "well no I physically can't." and then they go "well maybe your doctor could do more, have you checked X Y Z?" and you go "well I have 5 doctors, and saw 4 others, and they've ran a ton of tests and done surgeries for the past 5 years, and I was MUCH worse before so comparatively they've done a lot, and they don't intend to do more, this is as good as it gets, and this is how it is probably going to be for my whole life. So no, I don't think I'll have more energy/ability to do X more in a year." therapist "well, never say never, maybe in a year you will be better!" me "yes. but i will also feel pretty emotionally crushed if i plan to be perfectly healthy in a year, then i'm not and still can't do any of the things i made myself excited to do." therapist "well... focus on what you can do! what can you do today that you like?" and i'm like "well i had to work today, to keep my healthcare, and i had to sit up to see you, which also exhausted me so... either i'll use the rest of my spoons to shower and eat dinner, or watch 1 show episode and eat dinner..." therapist "oh well... maybe you can do something fun... on the weekend?" me "well if i don't grocery shop, i will probably have energy to see 1 friend for a few hours. i may try to do that." also me - just do not mention the nonstop nausea and pain even doing things i like because we will re-enter the beginning of the loop where the therapist asks why can't you take more medicine, isn't there more treatment options, and i have to very hopelessly remind myself that no actually there is no option i'm not already doing and this pain is just something i have to fucking live with and i'd really rather not RUMINATE on that depressing ass situation over and over again.

[mars-ipan]

Tomorrow Is Election Day And I Am So Fucking Stressed

[josecariohca]

.

[totaled-drama]

Morse you draw jcu chase ripper and Zee in the saw bathroom please. And the bro moment they had

Morse😭

Fun fact I have never seen a Saw movie before. Not sure what happens in the bathroom in those films but I’m glad these guys got their bonding moment I guess ajdhsjdhsh

[quarterprioritymidnight]

ngl babes idk how much longer i can do this 😭

[teddybeartoji]

mickey..... you are sooo!!!!!!! feeding my dazai obsession....... i am unwell....... i need him so bad you dont even understand.....

NYEHEHEHEHEHEHHEEE I LOVE LOVE LOVE DAZAI SM HE MAKES ME SO INSANE i cam't stop thinking abt how much he likes playing with your hands btw!!!!!!!! they're like fidget toys for him yk? he just grabs your hand whenever he can, no matter whether you're at home or in public, and just starts comparing hand sizes and then just playing with your fingers. he just likes to hold it too btw. and he really likes to link your pinkies. AAAAAAND i think he'd find it extremely cute if you started doing the same thing with him... like just grabbing his hand when he's rambling abt his day or smth,, he'd just stop for a second and stare at you with stars in his eyes idk he gets really fucking lovesick okay......

[fluffle-writes]

I wanna. Pick them up in my mouth and shake 'em around like a dog obliterating a squeaky toy