#I honestly miss this hyperfixation so much man

[ganondoodle]

in all honesty, im feeling a bit burned out on totk, the more i think about it the more i dislike its story and lore, i dont know what to make of it it being so loved by everyone else makes me feel like theres something wrong about me :/ gonna try and take a step back from it all

[avelera]

Man, there’s all these little beats in OFMD S2 1-3 where people keep EXPECTING Stede to be upset or horrified about Ed’s actions and then he’s just. Not. In a way that reminded me of how a lot of fanon kept softening Stede into someone who doesn’t swear and is horrified at Ed for setting those ships on fire when imo to my eyes he was horrified for Ed because Ed was still so clearly distressed about it.

- Zheng Yi Sao asks Stede how he’s doing now that he knows Ed did horrible things to his crew and there’s this beat and Stede just pivots to, oh yeah, sometimes Ed is troubled. Like it didn’t occur to him to be upset on the crew’s behalf he’s worried about Ed.

- Izzy keeps trying to spare Stede’s feelings and cover up Ed’s spiral, but Stede clocked what was going on with Ed immediately and wasn’t the least bit intimidated or bothered. The knives brought the room together. Of course Ed’s trying to burn the world down or die trying. Duh. And I genuinely don’t think the STUFF in the Revenge mattered even a fraction to Stede as much as the signs of Ed’s breakdown broke his heart. It’s just STUFF, who cares.

- Lucius had to SPECIFICALLY call out Stede for not being surprised or bothered by what happened to him. What Ed did. Stede has to almost consciously remind himself to express polite concern. He just doesn’t actually care, instinctively or automatically, about what happened to Lucius. Part of it is he blames himself more than Ed. Part of it is he just doesn’t care, Ed is the priority.

They’re little blink and you’ll miss it pauses in some cases. Micro-expressions. The absence of a reaction. But honestly, I will scream it to the end of time, Stede is not some nonviolent creampuff scared or upset by Ed’s evil ways. He wants to join Ed in the atrocities. The man ran away to become a pirate. He asked if Lucius was taking notes during a murderous raid.

Stede’s at least a little on some kind of whackadoodle pirate comedy neurodivergence spectrum to the point where he actually really actually struggles to empathize with people, even people he cares about!, if their feelings conflict with his hyperfixation (piracy) and the love of his life (Ed Teach). He’s always, ALWAYS going to pick Ed over Lucius or Izzy or his crew or even his own feelings, if the option is there. He will literally throw himself overboard to get to Ed’s side. No pause. No consideration of anyone else or even his own safety.

Stede sometimes seems to have to consciously remind himself things like, oh yeah, the crew, I need to see to them. Not because he’s heartless or doesn’t care, but because it takes a bit of conscious effort for him to see beyond the laser-focused spotlight of what and who he does care most about, he has to remind himself of social niceties and other people’s feelings (just see him running away in the first place!) when he gets an idea in his head. It’s as if he had to train himself to consciously care about some things other people care about and as a neurodivergent person myself, that felt very familiar in a comedically writ large sort of way. I’d even argue that’s where all his aristocratic social niceties come from. They were his guidebook for how to do things “right” in a world that otherwise made no sense to him outside his hyperfixations. He practiced being a person through the aristocratic training because it was all so foreign to him from the start, including caring, actually caring, about the needs of others. Not because he’s consciously evil or consciously a jerk. The instinct just isn’t there unless he practices at it until it becomes reflex to ask how others are doing, because on his own his brain just doesn’t really notice or care.

I just… hope the fandom notes and has as much FUN as I do noticing all the little moments where even people inside the story of OFMD expect Stede to act in a normal way and instead he remains unhinged, laser-focused on Ed.

Stede’s not just an Ed apologist, he truly doesn’t blame Ed for any of it. He blames only himself. He doesn’t always voice this but he really really only cares about anyone else including the crew as a DISTANT second and he has to consciously REMIND himself to do so. He is able to rally to take action, to care about their physical needs like safety during the rescue, but he still struggles, deeply struggles, to remember to show empathy in a non-performative way for anyone except his special person, Ed.

Stede’s not a creampuff, not a nice guy, not some emotionally or morally perfect angel. He has to consciously practice caring about literally anything else but what he wants to do and his special person. And to me that’s a thousand times more interesting than shoving him in a box labeled “the blond, pacifist do-gooder good guy” in their relationship.

[vvallent1ne]

Taking What’s Not Yours

sebastian solace x gn reader :))

ehe. the hyperfixation is bad …

i honestly wrote this because a friend asked me to, so thank you to them!! 😊

wc: 1,401

small description: you haven’t seen sebastian in a good long while.

warnings: hugging, sexual innuendo(s)??, just a lot of tension overall tbh, seb is kinda 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, but nothing actually happens besides hugging you FREAKS, seb and reader both love each other 😊, small relationship doubts from reader, honestly just a very anxious reader altogether, seb is tall as fuck, reader is a human prisoner!!, reader is GENDER NEUTRAL !! ���👏

song that inspired fic: taking what’s not yours by TV Girl !!

This run around the Blacksite was particularly taxing. You’d been here for hours and you still haven’t gotten past door 45. The entities really seemed to have it out of for this time around, appearing more frequently than usual.

Maybe they were all just cranky today. You understood.

To make matters worse, you had accidentally flashed Eyefestation with your flash beacon out of fear and enraged it. Great. Just what you needed. You had also previously opened a false door out of pure impatience and got a big chunk of your health taken off. You were low on health and patience today.

Luckily, you knew that Sebastian’s room would be coming soon, and this realization brought a heat and hue to your cheeks. You were excited to see him. Him, a monster you once feared, turned into the man you were excited to see. You sighed to yourself, knowing that you were stupidly falling head over heels.

Soon enough, you had walked into room 49 and immediately heard the familiar sound of the metal of Sebastian’s vent hitting the concrete flooring. It used to startle you, but now, it brings you a sense of comfort.

“You know where to find me.” His sirenic voice cooed from inside the vent, practically drawing you in. You could feel your face slipping open with an idiotically happy smile as you began to maneuver down the vent.

“I know where to look.” You responded, your glee evident in your tone. How many days has it been, you wondered, since you had last seen him? Did he miss you, as you missed him? Did he share the same aching of your ribs, the enclosing feeling that you were far from the one you loved? You hoped he did.

You paused at the eye of the vent, right before his office, and furrowed your brows in worry. What if he wasn’t happy to see you? What if he was enjoying his break from you, a “silly human” as he liked to call you.

Were you reading too much into this, or too little?

“Hey now, you know I don’t bite… unless you want me to.” He teased, the last pasty said under his breath, but still heard by you. Your cheeks warmed, questioning if he truly did mean it in that way or not. You shook your disruptive thoughts out of your mind and continued to crawl outside of the vent and into Sebastian’s office.

You turned your body around so that you could land on your feet instead of your face. You had learned from a previous encounter that Sebastian was never going to let you live that down. Hell, even if you died, he wouldn’t let go of it.

“Woah now, don’t hurt that pretty face of yours again.” He chuckled, the memory flooding back into his mind. You noticed the small compliment thrown in with this teasing. Pretty, huh? He should look in a mirror. The realization soon set in that he had called your face … pretty? You felt your entire body heat up once again. Why was he being so flirtatious today?

Throughout you two’s relationship, though only having begun a few weeks ago, Sebastian had never been this charming with his compliments or as… direct with his innuendos. This side of him seemed like a completely different person. What had changed about him since you were gone?

You made a conscious effort to ignore his fluster-inducing compliment and made sure to land securely on your feet. You looked a bit to the right, expecting him to be in his normal place.

Instead, your eyes caught view of him practically right in front of you, his height towering over you like a human to an ant. That was also, coincidentally, how you felt around him as of now. Like a small, crushable ant.

You had to crane your neck all the way up to look him in his three eyes, and you noticed that each of them lingered only on you. It felt weird to have so much of his attention on you all at one time, you were practically squirming under his vice-like gaze.

“Long time no see,” You spoke, trying to alleviate the awkward tension you were feeling. Sebastian, on the other hand, seemed to have no problem with it. You moved around him, heading towards his tail to hopefully be cleared of his stare, but it was of no use. “How’ve you been?” You asked genuinely. You were told once that the best way to get someone’s attention off of you, was to get them to talk about themselves.

However, Sebastian just stared at you, as apathetic as ever. You guessed that he saw through your tactic, and you were now suddenly very nervous. He slithered his tail away from you, right as you were about to buy a first aid kit for your wounds, and came towards you with his upper body.

He lowered himself down as far as he could without discomfort, and his arms were around you in an instant. You stood there, still, unmoving, for at least seven seconds. Your mouth gaped and your eyes shot wide open, not at all expecting his gesture. You eventually snapped out of your dazed state and wrapped your two, music smaller arms, around his neck.

Despite being a combination of a bunch of cold-blooded fish, he was still the warmest thing you’ve ever felt. You practically melted into the hug, and he grasped your waist with two hands to keep you upright. His other hand came to the back of your head, pushing you into his clothed chest and playing with your hair.

So this was heaven, huh?

You’ve never felt so loved, so doted over, so cared for. All of the horrors from outside these four walls faded into a distant memory in the back of your head. That’s what Sebastian did. He protected you, inside and out, and held you like you were the most important thing in the world to him, and you held him the same. Because it was true. You were his world, and he, yours. Any and all of your doubts about him from your time away dispersed the second he touched you, held you, loved you.

In a place where there was no love to be found, he gave you the supply you had been missing. And so did you.

“Cut the small talk, I’ve missed you so.” He spoke in a hushed whisper against the shell of your right ear. You reddened immediately, however you weren’t sure if it was because of his words, or the fact that he was so close to you. Maybe both.

“Really?” You spoke, a teasing lilt in your voice. You hadn’t even realized how sultry it had sounded until it came out of your mouth. Your eyes widened m, fearing his reply, and praying it wouldn’t come with more teasing—you don’t think you could candle any more of it.

“Of course I do, I have no customers as great and pulchritudinous as you.” He replied, every word sounding genuine. You weren’t quite sure what that last adjective was, but you were blushing anyway. Damn him and his attractively wide vocabulary.

“You best not.” You spit back, unbridled jealousy obvious in your tone. You were too tired to try and hide it. Plus, Sebastian figures out everything you seem to be hiding regardless. He seemed to see through you almost, as if you were made of glass.

He gripped your hips tighter at the covetousness dripping from your words, his claws lightly grazing your skin through your diving gear.

“Oh, is that so?” He chuckled before smugly smirking down at your face, buried in his rumbling chest. “My, do you truly believe that anyone else could make me feel the things that you do, mon chéri?” He finished his teasing question by prying your head off his chest, using his third hand to grip your smaller chin, forcing you to look at him when you answered.

“I don’t know how I make you feel…” You trailed off. His eyes on your face, your cheeks, your lips, made you doubt anything you had said. You wanted him to approve of you so, so badly.

He looked down at you with an almost predatory hunger. His eyes became half-lidded as he leaned down to face you head-on.

“Would you like me to show you?”

[da-rulah]

Hello lovely!!! I am so glad that you are back! Hope that you had a pleasant trip to Amsterdam (even if it was for work hehe but you have to earn that coin somehow I guess). Is Amsterdam pretty? Never been there myself so you have to let me know🖤

About that ask🌚

How would the Papas react if you asked them to wear their Papal robes (like the ones they used for the rituals) for sexy times? And for Copia please if you could do it with the military jacket+vest it would be awesome (I might have an unhealthy hyperfixation with that outfit hehe)

🖤🖤thank you🖤🖤

-SR🐀

Hey lovely! Amsterdam was exhausting, 5 days of conferences when you have the social battery of an iPhone 3GS isn't ideal, but I love the city so much and it's always such a pleasure to go back! (I have pics on my insta here if you wanna see hehe).

Onto the ask... Papas in robes, but Papa Copia in his Military outfit. I can absolutely do that. Let's fuckin GO.

18+ beyond the cut, MINORS DNI!

Primo

He wears his robes daily, that's just him.

In his old age, he's a very gentle lover. The feral beast in him has not been seen for quite some time, but you don't mind.

It's better than him overexerting himself and slipping a disc in his back again...

One evening, you're enjoying another night in with your lover. Some gentle kisses and heavy petting...

He moves to remove his robes that he usually neatly folds on the armchair in the corner of your bedroom, but you stop him.

"Would... would you keep it on, for me?" you ask, biting your lip.

You almost see his white eye sparkle...

That man unleashes whatever feral beast he'd kept under lock and key for so long.

He had you on every surface, in every position, cumming over and over again that night.

"You can give your Papa another, no?"

He's never used his title to dominate you before, but when you slip up and call him Primo just once, he spanks your ass and reminds you just who is fucking you.

The adrenaline keeps him going, but his joints protest the next morning...

Secondo

He acts a little precious about it when you ask him at first.

"You want me... to defile my robes? To sully my sacred attire?"

You almost feel guilty for asking, "Forget it, I shouldn't have asked…"

But he grips your chin, forcing you to look at him.

He makes you beg. No way will he do anything in these robes without you begging. On your knees, worshipping your Papa.

But truthfully, he's more than happy to oblige.

Man has a corruption kink and it is going BRRRRRRR...

"Good girl/boy... Worshipping your Papa with your mouth, eh? And you'll swallow my unholy communion, every drop I give you..."

The messier he can get his robes the better...

Cum stains, sweat, arousal, spit... They are filthy when he's done with you.

Part of the whole ordeal? He makes you wash them by hand, standing over your shoulder to remind you that's what you had done. It was part of the shame, the degradation of it all.

And you would soon do one more, time and time again...

Terzo

You don't need to ask him. He sees it.

When he's performing any ritual, any mass... He sees that look on your face, notices the squirm where you sit in the pews.

Usually after a mass, he'll hang the robes up in his office and head back to your quarters in the suit he wears beneath them.

Until one night, he doesn't.

He comes to you, still dressed in his robes and mitre. He doesn't miss the look of shock and the whimper you emit when you see him stood in the doorway to your bedroom.

"P-Papa...?" ... "Papa's here, tesoro. And he needs you..."

It's quite embarrassing how easily he can read you, honestly. You realised you must have made it so obvious you wanted him in his robes and it makes you shy.

He stalks over to you slowly and backs you up against the bed until the backs of your knees hit the mattress and you fall to your ass below him.

He parts his robes and you see he's completely nude underneath, already hard.

"Spread your legs for your Papa, tesoro..."

Copia - The Military Outfit

After his fitting for tour, Copia comes home with the final products and you beg him to show you them.

He flashes the sequins of his red and blue jackets at you, shows off the shirt with those flared cuffs and the batwings specially made for him.

The last of his outfits, was The Military Outfit.

Your jaw dropped when you saw it. How majestic he looked, how powerful...

The lace up trousers were so tight on his thighs... The waistcoat hugged his chest, the squared shoulders of the jacket giving him an aura of power.

You stepped towards him without a word, and he looks so confused.

You trace the embroidery on his waistcoat, fingertips grazing over each of the gold buttons on either side of the jacket, playing with the dangling fringe on his shoulders...

"Cara, are you okay?" You haven't spoken in..." he checks the wall clock, "7 minutes..."

Your eyes snap up to look at him, painted like he would be onstage, and the butterflies in your stomach make themselves known. Violently.

"Fuck me." You state it plain as day. His eyes widen.

"Eh?"

"Fuck me. In this. Now."

A darkness descends on his face and he's gripping your hips to pull flush against him as his lips smack against yours. You didn't have to tell him twice.

[hanakihan]

oh my fucking god

my friend just texted me after finishing watching Monte Cristo adaptations and asked me why man went so hard on revenge shit because it’s not like his time in prison was that bad and he had treasure on him why not just move on or do it other way

head in hands

see that’s what I mean by adaptations missing the key point of his imprisonment time

without knowing what happened in château d’if, without understanding how much of his life was destroyed here along with his psyche and morals, without understanding that he was so destroyed that by the time he met abbe faria, even faria himself high key was regretting teaching/telling dantes who screwed him over because at this point he helped to finalize monster in dantes, because if faria didn’t tell him that, dantes would’ve never even decided to have revenge because he didn’t had need/target for it

i just keep noticing that people who watch adaptations without reading source material always get confused on ‘why’ of his revenge because the start and result don’t weight the same for them and such people more than right to ask the question what stopped him from starting new life with treasures faria left him

dantes with his wealth honestly could’ve simply hired assassins or mercenaries to kill people he deems responsible for his demise and call it a day. but no, he wastes even more of his years for a revenge and even went overboard with it because it’s extremely personal for him in his broken unhinged mind. his broken psyche concluded that death would be too easy for them, they need to go through equal amounts of hell he went through. because his revenge is more psychological torture focused than physical one, he is a broken man who doesn’t understand he overstepped boundaries of equal revenge and only snaps out of it when his plans backfire on people uninvolved.

his hyperfixation on such hard to execute and too complex revenge is pretty much what is keeping what remains of his broken mind and morals intact, since he in his head (as well as narrative) justifies his actions and goals based on what he went trough in prison. because if abbe faria didn’t unintentionally given him a goal, a target of revenge, even if he proceeded to escape and find a treasure, he simply would’ve started his life anew.

so yea adaptations missing on fatalism and mindfuckery of his time in château d’if is what ruins them all. book really gives you time to savor the shit he went through here, starting from time passage, changing of his cells and how ‘life’ around goes up to his mood and behavior changes through years, from hopeful hysterical boy to depressed apathetic half corpse who ironically considered his jailers as some sort of friends he can talk to even if they don’t talk back to him anymore

[night-willows]

Hi hello I’m thinking about Kirihara today so I’m subjecting you all to another infodump

TW: everything in Kirihara’s chapter (abuse, violence, etc.)

Interrupting my regularly scheduled Asakura hyperfixation with a Kirihara hyperfixation! This man is very in my brain today. I love him he’s so very fucked up. His absolute obsession with his brother is just so… sad honestly. But god I love the angst so. He has based his ENTIRE identity around someone who has only ever hurt and abused him, because that’s all he’s ever known. We don’t know much about his parents but I doubt they were great if they just let his brother abuse him. His brother was likely the only person paying much attention to him at all. He was his whole world. Sure he was treating him horribly, but Kirihara didn’t even know what being treated kindly felt like. All he knew was his brother’s violence and how it made him happy. All he wanted was to make him happy, because he was his everything. He was all the attention he’d ever received. And then suddenly he just doesn’t have that anymore because his brother abandons him. He’s not better off without the abuse because it’s all he’s ever known and he doesn’t know how to exist without it. He gets terrible abandonment issues from this, he feels so deeply insecure, like he’s not good enough to satisfy his brother anymore. The role he’s played his whole life was his brother’s victim, all he’s been good for is bringing him a sadistic sense of pleasure. He’s very jealous when it comes to his brother too, he needs to be his one and only victim or else he loses his sense of purpose. Who is he without that? Kirihara’s world is his brother, being his brother’s punching bag, without that there’s nothing. At its core I think it’s that sense of nothingness that his brother leaves him with that drives him. He goes on to do everything in his power to get him back. Both literally looking for him and molding his own personality into his memories of him. He has become the exact same kind of violent abusive person that his brother was, desperately trying to hold onto his image. He’s trying to capture his brother’s attention, maybe he’d notice what he’s doing and be proud of the violent person he’s become. Of course, he’d adopt the role of his victim again the second he found him. Actually Kirihara IS still playing the victim role, with his Mizuno persona. Mizuno is the victim, Kirihara is the abuser, and with that he keeps his and his brother’s relationship alive within himself. EVERYTHING he does is some sort of desperate attempt to get his brother back. He’s become him so he won’t have to be left alone and purposeless. Acting like his brother brings him comfort, getting beat up brings him comfort. All because it helps him feel connected to him. And what’s really sad is we know his brother is dead. He never even had a chance at ever finding him again anyway. And Kirihara will never know what he’s missing out on, he’s so focused on trying to become his brother’s victim again that he’ll never know what it’s like to genuinely be loved and cared for. Even if anyone tried he wouldn’t be able to enjoy it, he’s so used to what he considers “love” being abuse. His world is still only his brother. Even though he’s free from the abuse now, he doesn’t see that there’s so much else in life to experience. He doesn’t see his brother’s disappearance as freedom to explore what the rest of the world has to offer, but as the one thing in his world, the one person who needed him, being lost. He doesn’t want anyone else, he doesn’t want anyone who will treat him kindly. To him they’re nothing, all he’s ever known is violence so that’s all that matters.

I hope that made sense?? Sorry I’m just rambling but. Kirihara <33 love him <33 it WOULD be cool to see him get character development and learn to let himself be loved and move on from his brother but. Unfortunately I’m pretty sure he dies in canon- as I said I am an angst enjoyer though so I am throughly entertained by his story even without a happy ending

[secondsonaym]

honestly as much as i love this story and cotl as a whole, given my current energy state, and the fact i don't know how long i'm going to be like this, i'm considering putting it aside for now so i can work on something original that i haven't touched since the hyperfixation took hold

like, said fixation i think is finally waning for now, though that's perhaps in part due to my energy fluctuation, but i'm currently of the mindset where if i have energy, i want to use it on something i am still fully passionate about

like i was planning and developing a whole game of my own before i fell into the lamb pit, and i still want to work on it, so???

like man, look at this stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i miss it! i miss my original world and to actually make a playable game out of it (albeit a demo) was so fun and fulfilling!!!!!!

[ferinehuntress]

Okay, I had a bit of a rough week, so I haven't been on my best mind or thoughts because of things.

However, I do finally want to do a belated New Year's greeting and appreciation to some people who I think I want to say things about because they are the reason why I'm still on my blog and what has made my life beautiful.

I do not celebrate New Year's, however, I do believe in trying to look to the better, to hope for better. It is not about a new year and erasing everything that has happened, but having a chance to build yourself how you want to. I do not do resolutions nor do I believe in the idea of New Year's meaning kissing or drinking. It's a time to appreciate what you have and who you have it with.

◈　@shimmerbeasts　 ⋯　 I would have never expected to have made such a powerful and impactful relationship with Miss T when I first met her. And yet, after six months, she has become not only my best friend but someone I consider family. I can't even imagine my life without Miss T now, it's like finding someone who is a long-lost sister, who understands me better than I know myself at times. I don't think there are enough words or phrases to express how much I truly appreciate her and her friendship, and I hope for many more months of enjoyment in our hyperfixations and the things we enjoy. <3

◈　@goldenfists　 ⋯　 Joo was such a surprise. We started talking over small plotting, and then suddenly, we bonded so deeply. Joo is a sweetheart and I love getting to talk to her about everything, from real life to plotting to so much more. Joo has a heart of gold, and I truly hope she gets to have so much more this year; new friends, new adventures, and I hope I get to be there to share it. <3

◈　@gauntlets-shot　 ⋯　 Royal is absolutely a sweet lady! While we do not talk often, I can say that she is one of the people I never get tired of seeing on my dash. I think she is doing amazing things with her college schooling. I always love getting to spaz on Discord about our stuff. <3

◈　@decidentia　 ⋯　 I have known Puffin long before I joined the League of legends fandom. I think it's going on a year in a half now that I have known her. She's a mom, I'm a mom, and we are both stressed with kids and life. I think she's one of the few people who understand the struggles of parenthood because she's always one too <3 Honestly, I would follow Puffin anywhere, because not only do I love her writing, but she as a person is a sweetheart. I really do hope for great things for you this year. <3

◈　@jynxd　 ⋯　 My empathic buddy <3 It's only been a few months, but Bli is amazing. they are sweet and kind, but easily understand my hyperfixations and excitement over things. Bli has so much in their mind and I love how they easily understand my mind thought processes and get just as excited over plots. I love our trio <3

◈　@ofspvrta　 ⋯　 Ikaros is someone I have known for..... three years now. Man, I can't believe it's been that long!!! They have my love of Assassin's Creed. I haven't written in the fandom in a long time, but it still has been our linking connection that made our friendship blossom! I don't regret anything, and now they are one of my closest friends through thick and thin. I don't have my other friend's url, Apis, but these two are probably my longest-known friendships from Tumblr who are still on Tumblr. We've been through so much and still, we hold strong <3

◈　@playgroundmonsters　 ⋯　 Ama is the sweetest, she has such a good heart and a good soul despite what the world throws at her. We both have similar struggles but she's been such a joy to have in my life and I have no regrets. From our threads to our talks, I hope I can continue to be here to help her as she has helped me. I'll always need her in my life <3

◈　@blackrosesmatron　 ⋯　 Lucy has so much love for her muses and her OC. She came out of nowhere and now I'm just like 'Yes, she is mine imma keep her' when I got to talking to her about Angelica. Lucy is such a sweet lady, she loves her muses as much as I love mine (if not more!) and I'm always happy to get to write with her. I hope things continue to get bigger and better for her.

There are many more of you that I follow, though, that I appreciate and I truly hope that 2024 offers you opportunities and great things to come your way. I hope your health stays well and that everything you need is given to you. Never forget how important you are. I listed everyone I follow below, its a small list (I only have 30 of you guys XD)

@knifvd, @piltover-sharpshooter, @torntruth, @demacianhcart, @weavertali, @deadn30n, @elicertis, @valhiir, @naitfall, @runes-menagerie, @zaunseye, @rebelquilledl, @realmyths, @sheavoid, @spectrophobias, @lowlifetopfloor, @mcnagerie

[akaakeis]

gnawing at my nails rn i miss my bf (i dont have one) how do u pick like,,, one person to selfship with bc⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

like there r so many options ushijima i dont even know who's my favourite character rn ushijima like guys☹️⁉️⁉️

BUT I cant wait for savyaku😼😼😼😼😼 SOCUTE

goshiki is my babey though he is sososososososososo cute and i would want him irl and i bet i could even pull him irl toooo

yk what this type of starting is called! a HOOK sentence cuz u got HOOKED and now ur reading this long ass ask. WAIT FUCJ mattsun guys hear me out here ANYWAYS. HRU SAV!!!!!!!!!!!! its 4am for yew rn right!!

anyways.. its 4pm havent had lunch yet am so fucking tired but soft rice.. soft white rice.... i want to sleep but rice....... call me basic but soft white rice is the best fucking thing in the entire world right after u. teacher gave my english composition an 80 i think ill end up on the news. i just stood up abruptly and the world went 🌀🌀🌀🌀 should i be worried..!!!!

THERE WAS AN OWL ON OUR ROOF THE OTHER DAY SO COOL i almost started writing akaashi hurt comfort (???) at school today but i didnt get time and now im Too Tired :(

im reading and the mountains echoed by khaled hosseini and erm. the plot is so questionable at times like wdym the guy was in love with his chauffeur wdym she tried to kill her sister and changed her mind last second so it was only paralysis but its ok bc she killed her fr next time. wdym this one girl dated her moms ex and then married her friend's ex like guys.. guys i have Questions..

IDK IF U READ JJK MANGA BUT U SHOULD READ JJK MANGA

i cant wait for ur birthday #weirdkidthings Im So Funny Guys Im So Funny

im going to sleep so hard tonight grrgrgrhrgrg i had ice cream on the way home from school YUM and then math kid era p2 i finished this one thinf before everyone else even started and the teacher asked if i did it qt home cuz wtf. ew now i remember her using her nail to create indentations in the paper and i feel nauseous my skin is crawling

WHATEVER eRmmrmrm im sitting on the stairs rn hashtag procrastination ahahahahah ive been writing this and zoninf out for the past 7 minutes yyyyyippeeee

im so tired guys let me sleeeep

my parenrs were supposed to find baby gender today but the little shit kept its legs shut and didnt let them see (just like me frl)

correction im lying on the stairs rn ..

honestly me x goshiki would be Bomb why is he so unpopular all his fics are mid or questionable so far,,,, anyways. konoha is so beautiful i would want him excpet i have like no grip on his character so #tweaks. i hate andrew tate so fkn much. i cant wait till i turn 16 idk i feel like life will be significantly cooler then. anyways bb i take my leave gotta go eat lunch

i hope youve eaten by the time ur reading this!!! stay hydrated and safe and dm me to be silly together whenever >:]]]]] i hope u have a WONDERFUL day sav!! ily <3

look at my man hes so gorgeous btw

alina... bf... :D alright then! umumumummm honestly there were many characters that i wanted to do a selfship with but i didnt want to be self shipping with the same character that someone im following consistently self ships with LMAO cause i feel like it gets weird for me at that point cause all the hcs in my head get mixed up? ANYWAY i just think of selfships with any character im hyperfixating on at that very moment... in fact my selfship very well may change!!!

anyway since im replying after you decided on yuulina... NOYA AGHHH U GUYS WILL BE SO CUTE TOGETHER!!! IM UR NO 1 SUPPORTER THIS IS YUULINA SUPPORT CENTRAL‼️‼️‼️

savyaku sounds so funny i need to thank of something that sounds better stop rn 💔 BUT I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH IM SUPER EXCITED TO DO SOME SELFSHIP STUFF :))

u would so pull goshiki irl 🙂‍↕️

HELP thanks for the english lesson lina 😭 those terms always make me shudder because they were drilled into my head in my college comp class it was horrifying. and NO not mattsun i do NOT approve of that at this point in time!!!! AND IM OKAY!! tired as hell and i have 3 projects to work on <3 (i stacked my classes this year, im not proud.) IT IS NOW 3 PM AS I ANSWER THIS ASK SO SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE 12 HOURS WOAH

honestly u were probably tired because you didn't eat but i digress... AND SOFT WHITE RICE HAS MY HEART IT MAY BE AN ASIAN THING?? and awh stawp😋 ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE ENGLISH TEACHER THAT YOU CORRECTED IN CLASS? THE ONE THAT CANT SPEAK AS WELL AS YOU?? insanity 😨 i may end up on the news as well. AND YOURE PROBABLY HUNGRY AND DEHYDRATED GO EAT AND DRINK WATER IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY WHAT??? PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!

WHAT AN OWL ON THE ROOF THATS SUPER COOL!! bro i love owls :( and ugh i get what u mean i feel like sometimes the time just slips away... but its okay! you'll have time at some later date <3 make sure you rest enough!!

guys what my jaw just dropped?? THOSE WERE THE MOST RANDOM PLOT POINTS YOU COULDVE LEFT ME WITH. NOW IM JUST CONFUSED? KINDA WANNA READ IT NOW (my readlist has 100+ books on it)...

AND IVE READ SOME OF IT BUT IM NOT UP TO DATE RN I HAVENT HAD MUCH TIME TO CATCH UP RECENTLY

im excited for your bday too!! im trying to math away the time differences in my head so like i would dm at 12 pm the day before your bday so i would catch u at midnight i THINK.

i hope u are having an AMAZING sleep rn alina!!! and u are so smart <3 barf ur teacher needs to stop doing that thats lowk unsanitary? in my book

HELP ME NOT THE JS LIKE ME FR 😭😭 hopefully u guys are able to figure out the gender soon!! im so excited for you guys <33

goshiki is under appreciated as a character honestly and i think its cause of his fuckass haircut 😭 NO OFFENSE TO YOU WHATSOEVER IM SORRY!! HES CUTE BUT THE HAIR IS NOT FOR ME. when i saw him shirabu AND tendou i was like "what the HELL is wrong with shiratorizawa they are all fucked" no they werent they had semi and ushijima BUT THAT WAS FIRST IMPRESSION ANYWAY also konoha UGRHSHSBNDMSJABD hes so!!! so!!! yeah!!! i love him sm... also how did we get on the topic of andrew tate hes such a weird guy i dont like him 💀 AND SO REAL im excited to be 16 <3

AND I HAVE!! make sure u eat something nutritious before school! and drink some water!! i hope your day is lovely <3 ily!!

[deergravity]

The time travel poll is really my love letter to my friend who killed himself nine years ago.

Adam was the first openly trans person I became friends with. He was also one of the first people to affirm my queerness, to say that my feelings were enough, and I didnt need to score my experiences to reach some threshold.

He told me once, "people try and say that my partner and I are straight, but there is nothing straight about a bisexual woman and a trans man dating." That concept was radical to me at the time. Transformative.

We worked at a really shitty job together, one that ground up young activists and spat out jaded liberals. Adam helped keep my spark alive. He was in a leadership position and he used that to push back on bs from higher ups and protect those of us lower in the org. He lifted people out of those lower ranks based on their aptitudes, rather than the nepotism that usually ruled.

He just cared so much. He paid so much attention to people. I said once, offhand, I wanted to stop saying "you guys" by default. And he would call me out when I slipped up! Just like, "hey, I thought you didn't want to say that anymore." And I think that moment of realizing that people pay attention to what I say made all the difference in that change actually sticking.

When a friend of mine was promoted with a hint of that nepotism, I sought Adam's advice. How to navigate those feelings? Unpicking professional jealosy, concern and frustration... deciding if I should speak up or let it go. He talked me through the whole thing. Reminded me that my friend might also be feeling out of their depth. Encouraged me to find ways to offer the perspective I thought they lacked. I was drunk and thought I would forget so he wrote it down in my journal. It's the one bit of his handwriting I have.

He moved away a few months before his death. The last time we spoke, we sat on a bar balcony and talked about politics, about gender and sexuality. The golden glow of the sunset behind him.

In the state he moved to, he started a network of young trans men. He helped get them access to binders, to doctors that would prescribe hrt. Always a helper.

I think of him in this red polo shirt, oh my god it was so basic, but that's Adam to me. A polo and khakis. His buzzed short hair. His acne and his smile. God, his smile. A cig between his fingers as he stepped out for another smoke break.

He picked me up from the train station once. I was so tired, running on just a few hours sleep. I asked if we could get some coffee. He said sure, but we were going to this place he knew because "the coffee at this station is baby shit." That still makes me laugh...

I wish I could tell him how much he changed me. How much I still look to his example. I miss my friend, but I respect his decision.

I'm also envious of him, sometimes. Or, perversely happy he didn't have to see everything that's happened to our world since his death. He lived in a world where Trump was never president. A world that was transphobic, of course, but before the bitter backlash we're living through now. This is probably the most complicated thing I feel in the wake of it all. Idk if it's right, but it is. It gives me some peace to think of all the suffering he didn't have to witness.

The anniversary of his suicide is a few days before my birthday. A bit sobering, but honestly his memory is a blessing. I was lucky to know him and I remember him with love each year.

He felt especially close to me this July. To be honest, part of my hyperfixation on brat is because of him. Or, I held it closer bc of the piece of him I see there. In particular, So I has sent me to tears several times. A song about a friend, a mentor, gone too soon. The mark they left on your life. Wishing you had more time, grateful for what you made together. Wondering what they'd think of you now. I'm sure you could pick through this post and see what memories I dredge up with each line.

I love you, Adam. I miss you dearly. And I'd really, really like to time travel so I can just hug you for five minutes without saying a word.

[ladyseidr]

So, as you may know from his muse page, Rory has ( obviously undiagnosed ) ADHD. I wanted to delve more into this ( and project some of my ADHD onto him lmaooo ).

so, we'll start heavier and then move on to the mostly lighter stuff: yes, his ADHD is disabling. no, he does not know that. yes, he's thinks he's just lazy and stupid ( he's not </3 ).

no, his would-be-shitty-no-matter-what parents do not help the above, although his mom's emotional abuse / judgment actually gives him the bigger complex abt it

he does struggle academically despite the fact that, talking to him about his interests / stuff he's knowledgeable about, he clearly comes across intelligent. he struggles with focus, some memory issues, plus general test anxiety despite claiming to not care about school. he hears a lot of "try harder" despite, like, actually putting effort in for many years of his schooling.

he graduates high school, barely ( as in, highly considered dropping out for 101 reason, including the ADHD ). no, he doesn't even consider college.

the combination of untreated ADHD, C-PTSD, and definitely an ( un ) healthy dose of depression make it hard for him to work "traditional jobs," so he does mostly odd jobs. at some point after getting his own place, i def think he starts diving into his art a little more. can aspen write a muse who isn't a creative? tune in next time to find out.

unrelated, but i am serious about the band idea. about him joining some local, semi-decent band as a singer.

ANYWAY some lighter stuff now: guy who always has one major ( months and months long ) and one minor ( 1-2 weeks ) hyperfixation going on at all times.

his common types of hyperfixations tend to be: specific comic book series or characters, specific bands, D&D, video games, and so forth.

he does get pulled back to previous hyperfixations sometimes, especially favorite characters ( like batg.irl, green ar.row, nightc.rawler, spid.er-man, etc )

please let him infodump at you. please let your muse find it endearing when he talks for 30 minutes straight about the latest Batm.an series. or about his new spray paint. or about anything.

btw i'm adding this just to be petty because i brought up comics but i promise you he called in and voted for jason not to die. i think older rory read "Under the H.ood" and felt the most validation he'd ever felt in his life. this isn't even fn.af-related anymore, let me get mad about D.C for a second—

( actually let's be real rory relating to jason big time is Real and Canon to me. anyway hayla, if you're reading this—)

sometimes his brain moves faster than his mouth and he literally can't say what he wants to say fast enough to get it out coherently ( real real real ).

he does miss social cues sometimes, but how much of that is ADHD vs him just not being properly socialized prior to school is debatable. pre-bite, he's able to laugh it off when someone calls him on it.

projecting big time but i think he should be a rocker ( as a stim ). if he's sitting down, he's probably rocking or bouncing his leg or something. if he's standing, he's shifting foot-to-foot constantly. that's not to say he can never be still, but he stims quite a lot. it's not always ( or even often ) a sign of nerves, he just gets restless.

in fact, honestly a lot of his idle behavior can scream "nervous" if you don't realize he's simply restless.

his recklessness is honestly not something i'd attribute to his ADHD. he has little care for his own safety, but i think that's a lot broader then ( or even wholly unrelated to ) his ADHD

does he ever get diagnosed? it's probably well into his 30s before he can even be convinced to try therapy, but yeah, i think eventually he gets diagnosed and tbh i think he probably cried the first time he read the, like, symptoms of it and realized it fit him. also when he gets on medication. this is supposed to be a happy bullet point but AGH </3

anyway rory infodumping at your muse starter call when?

[misculenica]

Expressions + Mannerisms (part 2)

By semi-popular demand, another analysis of Solas and his expressions :)

For all you fanfiction writers and solavellans!

I would like to state, for the record, a lot of what I say/have said is purely my own personal interpretations and understandings, and by no means should you take my word as gospel here. This is just some fun :)

I stated in a previous post (I shall call 'Part 1' for simplicity) how Solas has 2 expressions; his 'in the moment' expressions, in which his true feelings are on display, and his 'in character' expressions, in which he's very much putting on a persona.

If you're in solavellan hell, have some hyperfixation-tendencies and/or unresolved feelings towards a specific fictional character (like myself), you'll probably be able to tell the difference between these 2 expressive states of his.

Allow me to elaborate ;)

Solas, In the Moment "when he's honest/caught off-guard/not 'in character'"

Solas clearly has trouble with lying; he's rather terrible at it. I would go so far as to say he only ever lies to you once in the entire game (lying outright, I mean); and it is after the Winter Palace;

"You miss court intrigue... When were you at court?"

"Oh. Well, never... Directly, of course." <- big stuttering liar.

He can't lie worth a damn, but he's by no means honest; he's manipulative, deceptive and sly. I believe I heard someone describe him once as having a 'malicious compliance with/towards the truth'.

I believe his expressions, as well as mannerisms, follow this mentality.

I'll show you several images/scenes in which I believe Solas is being honest/showing himself without his guard up. (And in 2. Solas, In Character, I will show you the contrast).

This one will be hard to show without gifs (which I'm clueless on how to create, forgive me);

A. He blinks a lot, very a-rhythmic.

B. He gets this look about him, and I don't know how to describe it, beyond "'scuse me?" (the long face gets longer, shrug)

Genuinely surprised:

C. He looks very deep in thought/far away - and sad (this man needs some therapy) this is the face he makes when he knows no-one can see him (I'll make a part 3 going into these comparatives of 'you can see me'/'you can't see me');

No ones looking, it's okay (it's not, but whatever) face :

D. He just looks sad when he's being quiet/honest/not putting on some bravado/persona. (You know how 'resting bitch face' is a thing? This man has a resting depressed face, and i think it has to do with the tragedy - he practically embodies philosophical pessimism)

Acceptance/I don't see a way forward/I need a break face:

E. He has the softest look about him when he's touched/shown affection (yes these are all from the dream-kiss scene) (bless my poor solavellan heart)

Yes, I like to be held, please kiss me on my face face:

F. Smug face... He has a smug face (to be fair, this is literally him revealing he has complete control over when you're awake/asleep... and much more, given the context of Tevinter Nights - idk this face always creeped me out actually XD like i knoooow this guy could fuck me up if he wanted)

"It's my world, you're all just living in it" face:

G. He fidgets a lot when it's just him, or he's talking to you honestly. Like he always has to be doing something with his hands. (I noticed he doesn't do it when he's in groups, or with others) - not a facial expression but I thought it was interesting behaviour. In fact, his movements in general increase a lot - he fidgeted, he sways, he wobbles, he gestures, moves his head a lot. (Just watch all of his personal quest, you'll see what I mean). (He also does this when you first meet him, but I chalk it up to he's just super excited that you're not dead and finally you can fix his mess - since he was 100% sure you'd be dead and he was ready to bolt with his 'i didn't say it was a good plan' plan)

At the risk of just listing typically behaviour in people with certain emotions, I'll move on to his 'in character' part.

2. Solas, In Character.

A. He blinks rhythmically, every like... 5/6 seconds?? (yeah, I know... I do have a hobby besides this stuff i swear XD i just like this egg). It's soothing, like a heartbeat. The blinking just always stood out to me with his character, idk.

B. He smiles a lot, but I can't tell if I know who he is and what he's doing, and that's clouding my vision, but it feels very much like a job interview kind of smile. Like, every split second it falters just a bit.

This man just doesn't want to smile (though, I suppose this is early in game when he's very much 'these aren't people' 'oh i have to pretend really hard rn'

C. He stands pretty damn still and stiff - if he's doing this i'm 99% sure he's being manipulative with you, sometimes the only movements he has in a scene is him blinking, perhaps glancing sideways. - think just before the journey to skyhold when he gives you a talk about the orb and how you need to prove yourself - he's in 110% manipulative mode

The trouble with Solas is, he doesn't have many tells - but the ones he does have are big. And, without delving into scenes as they stand, I'd have a hard time expressing this.

But I will leave you with my favourite expression-transition in the entire game.

How he goes from optimism/pride when standing beside Inky, to when the figure passes him, his expression becomes so serious/foreboding. I love it so much.

And I once again want to mention how much I just adore the little details of animation, from eye movement, skin twitches, or full on bodily movement. - especially for a character I adore. It's beautiful to look at, especially as someone who studied animation (absolutely wasted degree on me, I swear) and gets very attached to fictional characters (particularly ones as complicated as the dread egg).

In future parts, provided I get flycam to work on my pc - I'll be able to go through scenes of the egg to give him a bit more of an in-depth view (with gifs and whatnot, can you imagine?).

[wannaeatramyeon]

sorry for my general inactivity on here and longass procrastinating/lack of responses to comments/asks. I've been doodling a lot more with my time and trying to force myself to write inbetween. Literally just been throwing things on here and peacing out. Anyway-

Responses below as well as lookism spoilers!!

first things first. yes education is important, but fanfics and our lil blorbos are importantererer. (Also not sure if you sent the ask before, and it's not on anon so....) THANK YOU FOR READING. Screaming. I... can't lmao. There's too much of my bs on here. And you spent your time reading it??? 🥹🥹🥹

bbgirl love you too

My god. I really wanna read more about his backstory - because I was done with the HTF men, pretty much. Even my lil meow meow Taehoon just doesn't hit the same, yknow what I mean? And then along comes Joshua with his greasy charm, obnoxious face tattoos, and drip. Man is a big screaming red flag that's beckoning me closer.

Lol it's not embarrassing at all! It's sorta daunting firing stuff into peoples ask box cos you forget what you put and you don't have a chance to read back. Hope you caught up on sleep by now!

‼️‼️ Lookism spoilers

Hey @slimesam!! Yeah my hyperfixation is no longer hyper at all. I think I'm a bit delayed with this, but the latest one - 471, I actually felt hyped again seeing the 4 crews whereas before my interest was seriously dwindling. I JUST WANT THEM ALL TO BE FRIENDS.

The last one i remember being excited about was Zack/Johan, Vasco/Eli fight chapters. Jake and Samuel were fine, and I'm never gonna complain about seeing more of Jakey, but Samuel is a complete caricature.

(...And Jake's win felt a bit like an asspull. Don't come for me please.)

I think honestly I just don't care that much about the general plot or the two body mystery anymore. I just wanna see more canon character interaction and fun shit.

Hey @lotus-n-l0ve! First - Sukuna is pretty goddamn hot isn't he. Surely this was Daniel?? I didn't even think this could be Jake's bro. Tbh I've been pretty shit at guessing stuff so... I could be wrong.

I thought the guy under the covers was Sinu 😅. Damn I miss that rizz master. Why is PTJ introducing all these characters then ditching them??

Anon, I did read this when it came in. And I pulled this face 😠

Thankfully, you jinxed nothing!! Don't apologise for your english!!!

lmao. ok - so you know how injuries don't really stick in the PTJ verse? Smashed through walls? Fine. Skull making a sizeable dent in the ground? Also fine. Sure people get scars and shit-

Wouldn't it be hilarious (not for Jake) if PTJ for some reason decides out of all the injuries that people get in Lookism, that THIS one will be the one that has some degree of accuracy? And that Jake truly would't be able to have kids?

GAPPY IS A DILF!!!!!! What do you mean you don't know why? Sure he has no morals and is a cheating bastard, but you have eyes don't you????

As you can tell, I'm simping right alongside with you 😁

[fifteensjukebox]

tagged by @amidalleia tysm!!💖

last song: winning by emily haines & the soft skeleton has been in my head and i have whatever a photographic memory but for music is called so i think it counts. i was trying to figure out the change in timing starting about a minute into the song and my memory wasn't good enough to figure it out, and i think the last song i actually listened to was wet blanket by metric (emily's band) in the car yesterday. what can i say i love her! (the update is that I tossed this post into my drafts earlier and i have now actually listened to winning and almost figured out what she's doing but i'll have to discuss with my music theory-knowing brother)

favourite color: turquoise/mint/teal/sage/cool amethysty purples/the denim blue VW car colour (my beloved first car was a vw beetle we called lulu so that colour is now lulu blue in my house à la dodie yellow)

currently watching/reading:

rewatching btvs and angel mid s4/s1 respectively while showing it to my mom and brother for the first time! it's taking ages but we're having the best time

gilmore girls - (late mid s3) first watch w my parents! there's so much i know from here and so much i don't but i know i love jess

grey's anatomy - watched s1-17 with my family a few years ago (begrudgingly at first bc i so did not want to watch a medical show. and sooo long! but it really is that good (sometimes)) & have been watching weekly as it airs since, but we just caught up on the first bit of the current season yesterday bc i didn't realize it was back. and i love the new class of interns so much we are SO BACK

not dead yet - the only show i'm currently watching by myself week to week as it airs and of course my favorite character is the white man i hate it here... i do love the women too though!!

doctor who 12th doctor rewatch but i stopped like a month ago in the middle of the episode before the cybermen plot starts bc it's just going to break my heart to lose bill for a third time. but i miss them! missy most of all so i will get to it soon

i'm not really reading anything at the moment but i have a couple audiobooks on hold at the library (yeah this is jenny's answer exactly but it applies!)

relationship status: single and i don't go out enough so i doubt it'll change anytime soon

sweet/savory/spicy: i want to say sweet bc i loooove sugar but i add salt to everything lately, i even added it to a rice krispie square the other day, so....

current obsessions:

also still nancy drew forever and always, but honestly i don't have a fandom hyperfixation atm! it's all about furniture shopping.... i'm looking for a small chair/stool for my bedroom desk, and a bigger table to go with my living room big chair so i can have my laptop/food/whatever else i want bc i seem to spend most of my time here

and emily haines/metric music (lately i haven't been listening to much me after 2007, but i love the more recent stuff just as much!

last thing you googled: something about the st vincent rock&roll hall of fame exhibit bc i'd seen a clip about it on someones story but i couldn't find the full video (still haven't)

no-pressure tags: @redheadedbrunette @apolloamy @godofsmallthings @jemhowling @acafemmeic @electrictouchfeaturingfalloutboy @coldnightairinmylungs & anyone else who wants to! i love these sm

[gelatomesomeironqrow]

I'm not sure if I already made a blog post about characters I believe to be part of the Asexual/Aromantic spectrum community but I'm bored and AO3 is down and I have a headache so I can't even attempt to write any of my fanfictions like I want to so here we go.

Starting off with my baby.

Ikkaku Madarame. I personally headcanon this wonderful man to be Demisexual. I would say he is aromantic but honestly I feel like a man who writes poetry. Yes, he writes poetry, and makes accessories for children, has a romantic side.

In the anime he has not once expressed interest in anyone, be it the most attractive woman or man, and yet... he is so in tune with Yumichika that he can recognize his laughter from across a battlefield while in the midst of a fight. So, yes, he is demi for Yumichika. The only one who he fully trusts and respects, such is the ways of a Demisexual.

Moving on from this wonderful specimen of a man... we enter the world of dreams.

Yes. Dream of the Endless. The man of everyone's dreams and nightmares. The dude is so much of a Demisexual that it took thousands of years for him to even admit to himself that Hodge is his friend, let alone the potential of a future love interest. Yes. I know he has had romantic relationships in the past, and that he had a kid with a gorgeous woman. Demis still have sex. He trusted her enough that he came to her aid to save her. He just wants intimacy with someone but it takes him forever to trust and let someone in.

Also, the dude has canonically turned into a black cat. Cats don't trust as easily as dogs.

Anyways. Moving on to a character that is canonically AroAce.

Isaac Henderson and this other kid that I don't know if we ever got a name from.

I, too, would prefer books over being in a relationship but alas... with my personal health issues, I need someone to be somewhat intimate with.

Now... I have watched many, many shows and movies and I try to find myself in so many of them. I know. Weird. Trying to find relation in entertainment to better enjoy something. I can still watch and read things if I don't have someone like myself in there. Anyways...

Going into the world of MDZS.

Nie Huaisang.

This man is 100% an Asexual who thrives on finding queer platonic friendships.

Also. The guy has hyperfixations in birds, fans, art, and getting revenge for his older brother's murder.

I love him. I can relate with hyperfixating, I cannot relate in the art of revenge. His level of dedication is unmatched.

Moving on.

Arcane is something I'm currently obsessing over so... let's dive into the world of headcanons since everyone has a million and no one knows for sure what is Canon.

Viktor. My man. The Jesus of Hextech.

It took getting rid of his emotions to realize that Jayce was the only one he ever wanted but it was too late. Such a doomed situationship. Anyways. I think of him as an asexual who valued companionship and wanted that intimacy. Again. With Jayce. The himbo who didn't realize what he lost until he lost it twice.

Hot take... and I could be completely wrong... but Jinx, herself.

I think if it came down to it. She would have sex but she hates physical intimacy. To the point where the only ones she willingly ever approached for human contact were Vi, Isha, Vander and Silco. Her found family that she had no romantic or sexual feelings for. I know alot of people ship her and Ekko. I can see it. But the girl is traumatized and has so many mental health problems. Maybe more of a Gray ace/Aego spectrum?

Speaking of. Let's talk about Silco.

I think he would be Asexual. Similar to Jinx if I'm being honest. He would be open to that level of intimacy, with the right people. But he has never had that kind of connection with anyone besides, possibly Vander. But... that situationship ended in tragedy and bitter feelings so... yep. Welcome to the Ace community, my love.

Ignoring that and moving on...

RWBY.

Miss Ruby herself.

Honestly. She needs that level of connection and trust before she would even consider that form of intimacy. If she ever thought about it. Which. I don't think she does.

Ending with my main girl... Neopolitan, would be a Demiromantic Ace. She has romantic feelings for Torchwick. But that's it. Girl really chose to become one with a mystical tree so she could finally move on from him.

There are plenty of more. Penny Polendina from RWBY. Castiel from Supernatural. The only one confirmed on this list is Isaac but, I mean. Come on. Look at all these neurodivergent, lovely people and tell me otherwise.

[shjiyemis]

Warning!!! Gonna mention topics like racism and transphobia, and internalized versions of them. Heavy subjects that we know are going on with these characters are not being ignored just not going into them fully!!!

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Ok guys get ready for trans guy Bro Strider concept with a side of Dirk and Dave, it is a novel so look out LOL

This is an interpretation and concept I made up for fun with my headcanons, a theory even. So don't put words in my mouth. None of this canon nor am I saying it is. (but it's definitely canon in this head of mine, leave me be GJVFHCHF)

This is not me making excuses for Bro either, I am simply giving him a backstory and more layers.

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I headcanon Bro Strider as a trans guy (bc I headcanon Dirk as trans-masc), but like a trans guy who's lives in the down-low about being gay but completely hides that he's trans. I imagine he strayed away from any family he had before transitioning and was like, never gonna go back lol. Im pretty sure Bro was like a young adult around the 70s or 80s too so like we all know what was going on around those times tbh, plus the general prejudice that happened during those times (and to this day) can definitely imagine him dissociating from that in general.

IT ALSO ADDS ON BC I HEADCANON HIM AS BLACK SO LIKE black trans gay guy, pls that'd be a monstrosity of trauma whether it was indirect OR direct. 😱😱😱

My whole idea is that Bro was dissociating from most of that, probably met Mom Lalonde at some point in the past (like not romantically or sexually or anything of the sort). He's always been smart and a strong guy and able to work around shit but I think later on he actually starts becoming successful in the p0rn industry. Kind of where he was at his high but yeah, after he started gaining such popularity and success during that time is where Dave comes into the picture.

Uses training that he's seen in anime (stupid idiot) and as well as like Lil Cal guidance,,, let's not forget that puppet possessed in the beta universe... (And honestly I wouldn't be surprised if Bro Strider had an already general idea of extreme physical training before hand btw) Also like.... Bro is an asshole btw,,,,, A HUGE ONE!!! empathy is low, just cares about solutions but not really process, as long as it gets good results it doesn't matter.

Generally a shitty guy who won't give most people the time of day, unless he's getting something out of it.

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I skipped a lot of things that are like more important to Homestuck bc I'm mostly talking about Broooo rnnnn so if you were like "there's stuff missing" it's bc I skipped it GJCGJVGVJGVJ

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I also headcanon Dave as a trans guy, which is funny because all the striders really hopped on the trans ur gender train lololol

Dave's transness is way more different from Bro's though, more through experience. Dave was simply raised and he believed himself to be a boy because Bro was a boy and he also liked the stuff aligned with it. He never went to public school, he was homeschooled but he walked in the city alone alot, probably made a few friends in parks or near school grounds but was never IN school.

He was a boy no one really questioned it, so it only came up that he could be societally aligned with girls later on, like probably 10-12. But was probably pushed out of any traumatic shock by Bro about it and Bro was probably giving Dave a lot of like "man up" mentality. He was never actually able to process it much so it just never bothered him until later on in his life (probably mid-meteor ride).

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Like the trans Bro kind of came up one day when I was hyperfixating on Dirk (whom I headcanon as trans-masc, not a trans guy persay but he definitely leans into man label, I've been playing with his dislike for labels and kind of putting him under queer haha!) which is also fun and interesting to play with Bro because that also implies he's non-binary but like doesn't understand that label on the slightest nor cares enough to identify as anything else but as a guy!!

(Also quickly wanted to add that a good label that aligns with Dirks gender /for ppl who need it/ would be nonbinary guy/demi-guy/trans-masc nonbinary, Dirk just doesn't strictly label it, nor does he want to)

Like a few friends I've talked to said Bro would definitely be a transmed and honestly he probably is but more to the degree of not understanding ppl that go against the transmed ideology but like not caring bc it's not business (in my whole concept anyways), he's not interested in it or most people so he doesn't really blurt out about it. He'd probably think people like Kalvin Garrah and ppl similar to him are dumb as hell bc like, "cis ppl have always hated us wtf are you on?" But he also doesn't involve himself in any LGBT politics/problems, at most keeps up with stuff so he gets his down low business done safely.

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Dave would be considered to literally be a stud if he was known to be afab, he also has small breasts like Dirk/Bro too so a compression shirt would do the trick easy. He never actually medically transitioned until probably post-game, as an adult.

Upon actually going through puberty Dave was simply given the pill. Bro didn't raise Dave as a trans kid, he raised him as a boy without transness in mind!

Bro didn't educate Dave about trans ppl or anything of the sort, he simply raised him. Dave was a boy and still a boy, just not the same way as Bro, expression-wise and in experience.

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Will also definitely say this too, Dave did not know that Bro was trans.

Bro was like literally living and identifying as a cis man and his down low life was more about being a gay black man rather then a TRANS gay black man.

There's definitely a possibility he ran into a few trans men/trans-masc ppl and felt more comfortable with exposure with a few of those individuals but like yeah he kept his transness in the down-low bc even gay who were cis looked down on trans gays

Especially as someone who grew up in the 70s-80s where's trans ppl in general were seen as weirdos even within the lgbt community in certain areas AND racism. Both of those existed inside and outside the trans community.

So yeah, like. He couldn't really hide the fact he was black (though can't say he was ashamed of being black the same way he was ashamed of himself being trans, but he probably does have some slight internalized racism in general), but it had gotten "better" atleast a couple years prior of Dave arriving. His transness tho is very easy to hide. He did not need any top surgery bc he had already had small breasts and testosterone can make your breasts decrease in size as well, along with his very heavy increase in muscle? All of that made it so he didn't really need surgery at all and he made his own bottom prosthetics for himself for easy hiding during any possible sexual encounters.

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Hope y'all enjoyed feel free to send asks about this if you want 🥺