#I haven’t had wise in months so maybe I hate them now

[layingonarock-thinkimightdie]

I’m fully content to be sad and eat a family size bag of chips today.

[prettyboyeddiemunson]

what’s your favorite scary movie?

summary: porn star eddie is doing a halloween film with his costar, one that involves a certain mask.

pairing: porn star eddie x porn star reader

word count: 5.9k

warnings: being filmed, daddy kink, use of a realistic plastic knife (nothing weird with it, though), unprotected sex, creampies, choking, brief oral sex (m & f receiving), mentions of anal, breast play, anal fingering (f receiving), degradation, rough sex, kinda dubcon

a/n: im aware halloween is over, but its always Halloween in my mind! also, sorry if anything like this has been done. I just returned to tumblr, and haven’t read many fics here in like 8-9 months.

18+ ONLY. minors do not interact or follow, or you’re getting blocked.

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Ring! Ring!

The phone next to you was ringing its familiar ringtone, and you looked at it with an eye roll. Unknown number, typical. You were acting the part of someone who didn’t like spam calls, but you hated them just as much in real life, too. You turned your attention back to the TV, ready to forget all about it and delete any voice mail they may leave, when it began to ring again. The same number popped up, and you killed the call. They called again, and again, and after the fifth time, you’d finally had enough.

“What do you want?” you asked irritably.

“y/n,” a deep voice came over the phone. “How nice to catch you.”

“Who is this?” you asked. 

“That doesn’t matter,” he said, and you could hear a grin in his voice. “I was lonely, and thought I would give you a call.”

“Very funny,” you said. “Tell me who you are.”

“What’s the fun of that?” he asked. “Isn’t mystery supposed to be more fun?”

“Is it?” you asked. “You’re probably just someone I know, trying to play some kind of weird joke.”

“Am i?” he asked. “I don’t think I know you at all.”

“Then how did you know my name and my number?” you asked. “Answer me that.”

“Maybe I have my own methods,” he said. “Ever think of that?”

“Ha ha,” you said with an eye roll. You hung up, but the same number called again and you picked up. “Yes?”

“That wasn’t very wise of you,” he said dangerously. “You didn’t even let me ask my questions.”

“They’re probably something really fucking gross,” you said. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Now, now,” he said, tsking. “What do you take me for?”

“A pervert,” you said.

“You’re right,” he said with a dramatic sigh. “But that isn’t why I’m calling you.”

“No?” you asked with a chuckle. “Coulda fooled me.” 

“What’s your favorite scary movie?” he asked, and you could almost hear the grin in his voice.

“What the fuck?” you asked, sitting up on the couch. “What kind of question is that?”

“Are you going to answer it?”

“No, now goodbye–”

“Hang up again, and you’ll regret it.”

The threatening tone of his voice gave you pause. “Who is this?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?” he asked again.

“Whatever,” you said, and dared to hang up. It didn’t last long until he called again, and you rolled your eyes as you answered. “What?!”

“I’m sorry for disturbing you,” he said. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“I’m not gonna entertain you,” you said. “You’re a fucking creep.”

“Just answer my question and I’ll leave you alone,” he said.

“Fine,” you said with a sigh. “I really like Psycho, Halloween, Friday the 13th, The Exorcist.”

“I know you like Friday the 13th,” he said, and he laughed evilly on the other end. “I can see that you’re watching it right now.”

You froze, sitting bolt upright. “What did you just say?”

“Never mind that,” he said. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No..” you answered automatically, looking around the darkness of your windows for any signs of life. “How do you know what I’m watching…?”

“Just a guess,” he said.

You got up and turned on all the lights, looking around again to see if you could spot someone. “Look, I need to go–”

“Don’t hang up,” he nearly shouted.

“Look, this isn’t funny or cute anymore,” you said. “I’m really uncomfortable, so if you could please–”

“You look really sexy in your pretty lingerie,” he said. “I mean, I think that’s what it is. You’re wearing that pretty pink babydoll with a thong. You like to tease people, y/n? That isn’t very nice.”

“Fuck you, creep,” you said.

“You didn’t ask what my favorite scary movie is,” he said.

“I don’t care!” you cried. “Leave me alone!”

“It’s The Strangers,” he said, and you could swear his voice sounded different now. More echo, closer somehow. “You know, that movie where those people break into that house.”

“I’m–” you began, and your back collided with someone as you backed away. 

You played the part of terrified really well, and you could see the cameraman giving you a thumbs up as you kept the facade. You turned around slowly, shouting in surprise when you came face to face with a man in a mask. He was in all black, and the rest of his mask was black as well, except for the face. It looked like a ghost, its mouth agape in some kind of eternal shock. In his hand was a knife, but you knew it wasn’t a real one. It was plastic that was made to look like the real deal, something the director found at a joke shop for a little bit of nothing. You shrieked and tried to run away, but he grabbed you and held you against his back as he stroked your hair in a near-loving gesture.

“Shh,” he said in your ear, trailing the knife down your arm. “It’s okay. I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Could have fooled me,” you said, feeling yourself already starting to get wet as you felt him hardening against your ass. “Why are you here, then?”

“I was hoping maybe I’d get lucky,” he purred, moving the knife between your breasts as you shivered. “You’re so much hotter up close.”

“And what do YOU look like under that thing?” you asked, your voice conveying the whole “stall him” vibe that the director wanted you to go for. “It’s not really fair that you see me and I can’t see you. If you’re really not gonna hurt me, then why won’t you show me?”

“I’ll show you,” he said, and you could hear the smirk in his voice. “If you do one thing for me.”

“What?” you asked, turning your head so that you could look at him slightly. 

“Show me those pretty, perfect tits,” he said in your ear, running the knife between them again. “Outside of that baby doll.”

“And what would you do for me in return?” you asked, turning around in his grip and looking into that mask. “Let me live?”

“Maybe,” he said, looking you up and down. “But first, I’ll just show you my face if you do. Let’s start there, yeah?”

You smirked at him, lowering the thin straps of the baby doll and biting your lip. “You’re probably some total asshole under there. I mean, who calls random women at nine on a Friday night, stalks them, then breaks into their house?”

“Keep going,” he said, his eyes on your breasts. “Show me.”

“You’re a real pervert, you know that?” you said.

“And look what you’re doing,” he said smugly. “Giving into me.”

“You came here to kill me,” you said. “I know that to be true, but it seems like you changed your mind. Why?”

“Because why would I waste such a good set of tits?” he asked. “And I know that pussy of yours is also perfect.”

You swallowed, but smirked as you pulled the baby doll down. You exposed your breasts to him, and heard him suck in a breath. That wasn’t scripted; it was his genuine reaction. You bit your lip again, smiling as you stood before him. He took the knife and dragged it over one erect nipple, causing you to shiver and moan slightly. That also wasn’t scripted or an act, and you knew that whatever happened from this point onward, it was going to be genuine. Well, aside from the basic acts they wanted you to perform on each other, but the reactions? It would be all you, and him. 

“Like what you see?” you asked, shaking them a bit as he groaned.

“Fuck yes,” he said, his ringed hands coming up to grope them. You moaned a little, head tipping slightly as he massaged them in his hands. “I guess I need to hold up my end of the bargain, too, huh?”

“Mmm hmm,” you said, mewling as he gave your nipples a soft pinch. “Shit…”

He stepped back, and you whined at the loss of contact. He lifted the mask with one hand, revealing his face underneath. You acted as though you were surprised to see just how sexy he really was, and his pierced tongue came out between his lips with a devils-horn gesture at the top of his head. You smiled, moving closer to him and running your hands down his chest as he looked you up and down again. Soon, he was grabbing your head forcefully, and drawing your lips to his in a passionate, hard kiss. It turned sloppy, your hands wandering and his, too, finding purchase on your hips as he squeezed. Your tongue played with his piercing, and you could feel the presence of the cameraman in front of you both as you made out. One hand tangled in his hair, the other palming the big bulge that was forming in the front of his pants. His hands came up, grabbing your breasts hard as you moaned into his mouth. He tugged your lower lip between his teeth, moving away to start kissing down your neck. 

“You feel so big,” you breathed, mewling as his teeth found your sweet spot. “Fuck…”

“You have no idea,” he said, pulling your body to his before grabbing your ass. “I want you so bad.”

“Come on,” you said, taking his hand and leading him into the living room. You pushed him down on the couch, straddling his lap before grinding against his dick. “You know what I want you to do?”

“What?” he panted. 

“Want you to rip this thing off of me,” you said in his ear, tugging the lobe in your teeth. 

“Oh?” he asked, grabbing the back of it and tearing it down the middle. “Like that?”

“Mmm hmm,” you hummed, kissing his neck as he moaned. “And I want you to put the mask back on.”

“Okay,” he said, smirking before his face disappeared beneath the Ghostface mask again. 

“You know what else I want?” you asked, moaning as you continued to glide along his clothed erection.

“Hm?”

“I want that big, thick cock down my throat.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

You could hear the smirk in his voice, and it would have infuriated you under any other circumstances. Right then, though, you were too turned on to care. You moved from your spot on his lap to slide to your knees, keeping your eyes on him as you did so. You palmed the bulge in his pants again, feeling how hard he was and suppressing a moan. He watched you from beneath the mask, both of his arms stretched along the back of the couch as you pulled his pants down. His breathing picked up a bit as you put your mouth over his cock through his boxers, and soon, you were pulling those down, too. He was exposed to you now, all nine inches of his thick, pierced, flushed erection at your mercy. As per the script, you teased him a little, sucking on his piercing before swirling your tongue around his slit. He mewled, panting as you took the tip in your lips and sucked eagerly. His arms remained on the back of the couch, not moving yet as you started planting messy, noisy, open mouthed kisses all over the entire length of his cock. You moved farther down to take his big balls into your mouth as well, sucking on them with a moan as you jerked him off skillfully. He was panting a little more heavily now, and you traced his large vein with your tongue as you made your way back up his length.

“Don’t fucking tease me,” he growled.

“Sorry, uh…” you said. “I don’t know what to call you.”

“You can call me Daddy,” he said, reaching down with one hand to stroke your cheek. “And what shall I call you, huh?”

“Anything you want,” you said with a wink, spitting on his cock and jerking him off. “Such a big dick, fuck.” 

“What did I say about teasing?” he asked, tilting your chin up with the knife.

“Sorry, Daddy,” you said, opening your mouth and taking his entire cock.

You gagged for a moment until you got your reflex under control, which was something you’d gotten good at in the business. You could feel him in your throat, stretching, his piercing at the back of it as you drug your head up, then back down. He was moaning above you under the mask, his head tipped back as he tangled a hand in your hair. You looked up at him, bobbing your head slowly as you gripped his base in one hand. You began to jerk him off in time with your movements, ignoring the camera man as he came around to get some close up shots. It felt as if he wasn’t even there, that’s how into it you were starting to get. You could feel your pussy throbbing, wetness settling in the thong you still wore as you sucked him off.

“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, tugging on your hair as you hollowed your cheeks. “You’re so fucking good at that. You’re a filthy little cock slut, aren’t you? I mean, who else just gets on her knees for a man she’s just met, especially one who broke into her house to hurt her?”

You responded by twisting your wrist, eyes still on him as you sucked him off messily. Drool cascaded from his dick and onto the floor below, and your throat was starting to hurt a bit from his piercing. But he was so hot, THIS was so hot, and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. His hips bucked upward with a loud moan, and you choked as more of his cock went down your throat again. He stroked your cheek tenderly, before yanking you off of his dick. Spit bridged your lips to the tip, and you looked up at him in surprise. Was this scripted? You couldn’t quite remember, but either way, it sent a fresh wave of arousal to your cunt.

“Rub my dick across your tits,” he said. 

“Those are one of my biggest insecurities,” you replied, but did as he asked as he moaned filthily. “But you like them, huh?”

“Fuck yes,” he panted, watching as you sucked his tip again. “You’re so hot.”

“Thanks,” you said, and you continued to alternate between rubbing his dick over your breasts and sucking him off. After a little while, he forced you to stop by grabbing your jaw. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re gonna make me cum if you keep that up,” he growled. “Did I say I was ready to cum yet?”

“No, Daddy,” you said, reaching out to jerk him off. “But I can’t stop worshipping this huge, perfect dick of yours.”

He grabbed your wrist and pinned it to the couch, causing you to whine. “Let me make you feel good.”

“You already did,” he said, grabbing your spit-soaked chin in one hand and forcing you to look up into his mask. “Now, it’s my turn.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, trying to take him into your mouth again, but you were greeted by a light slap to your cheek. “What?”

“I said stop it,” he said, pushing you away as he got up off the couch. “Sit up here for me.”

You whined, but did as he said. You sat down on the couch, watching as he lifted the mask again. He kissed you hungrily, sloppily, one ringed hand squeezing your jaw before it found your throat. He choked you for a moment, and you moaned as his hands found your breasts. He massaged them skillfully, his rings cold against your heated skin, his fingers rubbing your nipples until they were hard buds. He pinched them, tugged on them, swiped his fingers across them, all while you moaned hotly in his mouth. He grabbed his plastic knife, running it over & between your breasts before dragging it over your waist and stomach. 

“I’m going to show you just what I’m capable of,” he said, kissing down your neck after leaving a series of hickeys in his wake. He nipped at your collarbones, before he found your breasts. “You have the hottest body I’ve ever fucking seen.”

“All the other girls you broke in on weren’t as hot, huh?” you asked.

“Not even close,” he said, pulling one of your nipples in his mouth and sucking generously. “Such an amazing set of tits.”

“Fuck…” you whined, one hand in his hair as he tugged your nipple in his teeth. You knew the cameraman was probably getting a pretty good shot with that; Eddie was skilled, he knew what he was doing and how to work a woman’s body. You were reacting to him, wetness pooling in your thong, and you spread your legs for him as you grabbed one of his hands. “I want you to touch me. Please, I need it.”

“So needy, princess,” he said, giving your other nipple the same treatment as the last. He drug the knife down, running it over your cunt as he smirked. “I’ll bet you’re soaking wet for me, aren’t you? You’re such a depraved fucking slut, you know that? Putting out for me like this, soaking that pretty thong for me.”

“Touch me the right way and find out, asshole,” you challenged, and you could feel him grinning against your breast. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” he said, smiling up at you as he started to kiss his way down your stomach. They weren’t gentle, tender kisses; they were needy, hard, bruising. You knew you’d have some marks there tomorrow. “Just that you think it’s so funny and cute to be calling me names right now, when I’ve got the upper hand.” 

“Who says you’ve got the upper hand?” you asked, and he slapped your thigh hard as you yelped. “You didn’t have to do that!”

“Shut up,” he snarled, kneeling in front of you and spreading your legs as wide as they would go. He peeled off your thong, and the cameraman moved behind him to get a shot of your pussy. “Fuck, look at that. So fucking pretty and so goddamn wet.”

“I can’t help it,” you said, shivering as he ran the knife over your bare cunt. “Daddy…”

“I’m going to make you fucking scream, baby,” he said, and he immediately began to devour you.

You had never been eaten out like that before, either off camera or on. The way his pierced tongue moved through your cunt, so skillful and hungry, had you moaning loudly. You usually had to fake your moans, or at the very least, over exaggerate them. Not now; right now, every single noise that fell from your lips was genuine. He was devouring you, his tongue flicking your clit with every drag upward, his hands gripping your thighs tight enough to leave more bruises. You reached down to grab his hair, and he moaned as you pulled it roughly. His piercing dragged through your saturated folds, slowly and teasingly, before he pressed it tightly against your clit. More wetness soaked his face, and his fingers soon joined the mix. The cameraman was getting some great shots, and Eddie began to fuck you roughly on his fingers while his mouth did its magic.

“Fuck, you’re so good,” you gasped, rutting against his face as you clenched around his fingers. “I need more.”

“More?” he asked, his free hand dragging the knife over your thigh. “How much more? I’m giving you all I can, you greedy whore.”

“I want more,” you insisted, your eyes nearly rolling back as he started sucking on your clit. “Please…”

“Is this what you want?” he asked, gathering some of your wetness on the fingers of his free hand and pushing a finger inside of your ass. “Huh?”

“Yes,” you gasped, looking down into his big brown eyes as he started to eat your pussy again. “Fuck, please…”

He took his fingers out of your cunt, instead focusing on your ass. He shook his head back & forth rapidly, growling, his eyes still trained on your face. You kept looking down at him, playing with your breasts as his tongue swirled your clit. You tugged your nipples, and soon he was slapping your hand away with his free one to take over. He squeezed it, massaging it, pinching the nipple as hard as he could. You cried out, and you could feel the familiar sensation in your lower stomach that indicated an orgasm was imminent. He kept going, lapping at your pussy as if his life depended on it, shaking his head occasionally, using his piercing to his advantage. He began to fuck you on his tongue as he fingered your ass, moaning as more of your taste flooded his tongue.

“So fucking good,” he mumbled, moaning as he reached down to jerk himself off. “I’m going to fucking cum just from eating your pussy.”

“I’d rather you cum inside of me,” you said. “I wanna feel that big dick in my tight, wet pussy right now. Wanna feel you pumping me full of cum, and feel how good you are inside of me. Please.”

“You’d rather cum around my dick?” he asked, raising a brow at you.

“Mmm hmm,” you said. “But you gotta put the mask back on.”

“Tired of my face already?” he teased, pulling his finger out and putting the mask back on. “Alright, have it your way. How do you want me to fuck you?”

“From behind,” you said.

“Just like a disgusting fucking whore, huh?” he asked, slapping your ass as you stood up. “I’m going to make you feel so fucking good, baby.”

“Then do it,” you said. “Stop talking about it and just do it already, asshole.”

He slapped your ass hard, leaving a large red handprint in his wake. You yelped but giggled, wiggling your ass toward him as he spanked it again. He held the knife to your throat, pulling you up by your head as his mouth found your ear. You could feel his giant cock throbbing against your ass, and knew he was close already. But if everything you heard about his reputation was true, you knew that didn’t mean anything. He could apparently hold off for quite awhile, even that close, and you were looking forward to having him inside of you. In fact, you needed it more than you ever needed anything. You were tired of doing films with men who had average or below average dicks; they didn’t do anything for you, and you always had to fake it. But with Eddie? You highly doubted you would have that problem.

“Keep calling me that and I’ll slit your fucking throat,” he said in your ear, pressing the hard plastic a little more firmly to your throat. “You’re in no position right now to be a fucking bitch.”

“I think I am,” you said, grinning smugly at him as you pushed back against his cock. “You’ve got me right where you want me, right? So, instead of making empty threats and being a douchebag, why don’t you just fuck me?”

He slapped your ass hard again, dragging the knife across your throat ever so gently. “You’re fucking lucky I think you’re so hot. Otherwise, I would be ending this right fucking now by cutting you wide open.”

“Fuck me already!” you said. “You’re–”

You were cut off by a loud moan as you felt him pushing inside of you. You cried out as his thick length stretched your pussy, and you could feel his piercing deep inside. He held onto your hips to anchor himself, bending you over the couch as he pushed himself deeper. You nearly screamed as you felt that piercing on your cervix, but it hurt so good. You reached down and squeezed his hand, and you could tell that he was trying hard not to break character to hold your hand. He had to know how it felt, and you could tell that he was holding back, even still. The director seemed not to notice, though; he just instructed his cameraman to get a shot of his cock buried deep inside of your pussy. He was almost fully inside, and it took you a minute to adjust to how it felt. Never had you been this full, never had anything felt so good, and you weren’t sure how long YOU would be able to last. He was moaning behind you, and you felt his dick twitch. That caused you to moan filthily, and you looked behind your shoulder into his masked face, a smirk on your own.

“What are you waiting for, Daddy?” you asked, biting your lip. “Fuck me.”

He started to thrust, keeping them slow and shallow at first. The cameraman looked up questioningly, and the director simply shrugged and instructed him to keep filming. You moaned, feeling that piercing against your cervix again with every movement inward. He kept hold of your hips, and soon, he was fucking you a little harder. You knew that he was making sure you were okay first, something that he seemingly didn’t do with any of his other costars. Maybe he found a soft spot for you, or maybe the rest of them were used to taking dicks his size. Either way, you thought the gesture of going off script was rather touching, and you looked back at him with a smile. You couldn’t tell if he was reciprocating, but the sharp thrust inside of you somehow told you that he was.

“You’re so fucking tight and wet,” he said, starting to absolutely DRILL you as you nearly screamed. “Listen to that, can you hear it?”

You could. As he fucked into you harder, you could hear just how wet you truly were for him. His fingers dug into your skin, his breath in your ear, and you just moaned as you clenched hard around him. That caused him to groan, and you smirked as you did it again. This brought another loud crack to your ass, and you yelped as the knife made another appearance at your throat.

“Stop doing that,” he growled. “You needy bitch.”

“Sorry,” you said, but did it again.

He stopped thrusting, putting the knife down to grab your throat with his hands. He choked you for a moment, chuckling darkly as you kept clenching around him. He began to move again but kept his grip, letting go only when you started clawing at his hands. He reached around to grope your breasts, rubbing the nipples as he absolutely pounded you against the couch. He was panting and groaning, the sounds filling the air as the cameraman got another shot of him fucking into you. You could feel your lower stomach tightening, but you weren’t ready for this to be over yet. Fuck, he felt so goddamn good; you never wanted it to end. You would have been content going on forever just like this, with him inside of you as you whined desperately. He knew you were getting desperate, too; he reached down, rubbing your clit in hard, fast circles as you cried out. You clenched again, his hands now on your shoulders as you braced against the couch. He drilled your needy, soaking cunt, each bump to your cervix causing you to moan even louder.

“Cum for me,” he said. “Show me just how much you fucking love what I’m doing to you. Show me what a greedy whore you are for my cock.”

You moaned, and were shocked to see that he was pulling out of you. The director was about to intervene, but Eddie was pushing you onto your back on the couch. He lifted your legs to his shoulders and pushed inside of you again, causing you to moan hotly as he filled you up again. The director stopped and instructed the cameraman to keep going, and you looked up into his masked face with a look of pleasure on yours. You arched under him, writhing, your hands finding his clothed back and digging your nails into the fabric. He pounded you hard, the new angle causing him to hit into your sweet spot. He didn’t use his entire cock this time; instead, he decided to get creative, and fucked directly into your G-spot. The feel of the piercing against it was so fucking good, and you tore at his dark shirt as he pounded against you.

“That’s it,” he cooed, the strokes of his cock remaining shallow and deep as your mouth fell slack. “Cum around my cock, princess.”

“Fuck,” you whined, your jaw still open as your head tipped back. “I’m gonna cum so hard, Daddy.”

“Cum for me,” he coaxed, his fingers rubbing hard circles on your clit again. “Do it for me. Show me how desperate you are to let some stranger fuck you like this.”

Tears began to leak out of your eyes. They weren’t bad; it was just so much, so overwhelming. You could tell that he was having doubts, so you sat up slightly to bury your face in his neck. He groaned, thrusting harder before pushing you back down. He pinned you to the couch, both of his large hands holding you down as he mercilessly pounded you. More tears leaked from your eyes, and he laughed wickedly under the mask.

“What’s wrong?” he taunted. “Is my dick too big for you, you disgusting slut? Can’t take it all?”

“No, i can,” you said, trying to get out of his grip. 

“Then take it and cum for me,” he coaxed, fucking you as hard as he could. “Go ahead, show me you can do it.”

It didn’t take much more for you to cum. A few more strokes of his cock, a few more swipes with his fingers, and that was it. You screamed in pleasure, and none of that was exaggerated or fake, either. You squirted around him twice, and the director was staring in awe as the cameraman caught everything. You kept arching, moaning, bucking up against him as he continued to pound into you. He was panting above you under the mask, moaning as you felt him twitch inside of you. He was fighting hard to keep going, but you knew he was going to lose that fight very soon. You reached down and took his knife, holding it up with a smirk.

“You wanna hold this to my throat again?” you asked. “Maybe that would get you off.”

He took it and did just that, holding it on your throat as he pounded you. You moaned, clenching around him, bucking your hips up against his thrusts to aid him. He looked down at your breasts, then back to where the knife was held to your throat, and you felt him twitch twice. You knew it was coming and, sure enough, it did a moment later. He came hard inside of you, moaning through it, his head bowed as he allowed his orgasm to take him over. He continued to thrust until it was done, stopping and nearly collapsing on top of you before pulling out. But he wasn’t finished, and you already knew what was coming because of the script. He pulled you to a sitting position and opened your legs, eyeing your dripping cunt as he rubbed the knife between both of his hands. 

“Look at that,” he said, running his fingers through your sensitive pussy before he knelt in front of you. “I made such a mess of you, didn’t I?”

“Mmm hmm,” you said, moaning as he lifted his mask. “What are you gonna do about it?”

“I think you know,” he said, dragging the knife over your thigh again before he started eating you out once more. “I’m nowhere close to being fucking done with you, you fucking slut. If you think that I am, then you’d better think again.”

“So much for scary movies, huh?” you asked, moaning as he began to devour your pussy even more desperately. 

“I think this is much better,” he said, eating you out more feverishly. “You know what we should try? You know, since you’re such a filthy girl.”

“What?” you asked, moaning as he fucked you on his tongue.

“Giving it to you up the ass,” he said. “I think that would be fun, don’t you agree?”

“And cut!” the director called.

You whined as Eddie broke away from you, standing up as he helped you. The director was coming onto the set to talk to the cameraman, both of them seemingly pleased with what they’d gotten. Eddie sat the mask and the knife down on the couch, grabbing a water as someone on set offered one. He handed it to you, and you accepted it with a big smile. You took a drink, and Eddie’s hand was on your shoulder in a comforting gesture. He pulled his pants back up and gestured for someone to bring over your clothes. You slipped them on once they did, and Eddie wrapped your jacket around your shoulders for you with a smile. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. “I mean, I didn’t hurt you or anything, did I? I tried to be as careful–”

“No, I’m okay,” you assured him. “Really. I just wasn’t used to someone that big.”

“A lot of the women aren’t,” he said with an apologetic grin. “I always ask them to let me go in slow and careful, but they never really let me. I guess they don’t want to shatter the illusion. It’s just…you were crying, and i was so scared that i was hurting you.”

“Well, I can promise you that I’m totally fine,” you said, taking another sip of the water. “Do you think we did well enough for them?”

“Oh, I think we did,” he said with a chuckle. 

“Something tells me they’ll be asking us to do another one together very soon,” you said. 

“In that case,” he said, smiling as he leaned closer to you and offered an arm. “How about I buy you dinner? I know I’ve worked up a hell of an appetite tonight.”

You grinned, taking his arm with a nod. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.”

____________

taglist: @littledemondani @andvys @wroteclassicaly @succubusmunson @eddieschains @trashmouth-richie @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @reidsbtch @taintedcigs @happylilthought @sunkillerdreamer @battymunson @whore4romance @hallovoid @harrys-housewife14 @alovesongtheywrote @filthy-gorgeous @emmyshortcake @softgoodsstyles @deathlyweird 

[vroomvro0mferrari]

LN4 | Yeah

Summary: After many failed dates, Lando is always the one to comfort you. Perhaps it's time you look for love in a different place, in someone you already know?

Lando Norris x Reader

WC: 1.0K

Warnings: Curse words, if that’s even a warning.

Masterlist

"Is she okay?" Max said as he saw you storming into the home you shared with him and Lando. You had just come back from a date and let’s just say it did not end well. You had been dating Jack for a while, but he was just expecting too much from you, so you broke up. This was the umpteenth boy that was.

You jumped on your bed, face down, and groaned. Would you ever stay together with someone for longer than a month? Probably not. You twisted around in your bed, trying to find a comfortable position. Not being able to find one, you decide to get into your pyjamas first and take your makeup off.

When you finally finished, you plopped on your bed once again, hearing the boys whisper outside your door. They always tried their best to take of you, especially when your behaviour was worrying them, like now. As expected, soon after, a knock came. "Hey love, are you okay? Can I come in?" – it was Lando, Max had pushed him in to confront you because he knew you the longest and the best out of the two of them – or at least that's what he told Lando to convince him.

You just grumbled as an answer, Lando took it as a yes and walked in silently, moving to lay next to you on the bed. He held his arm out for you to lay on as he asked you, "What happened?"

As soon as he stretched his arm out you were cuddling into him. "We’re over," you said, hiding your face in his chest.

"I’m sorry," he said, holding you a little tighter.

"'T is alright," you said acting as though it didn’t have any effect on you, as always. And to be honest, it didn't impact you as much as it should have; you knew it wasn't going to last.

Nevertheless, this wasn’t an irregular event for the two of you. You had been through numerous break-ups in the one-and-a-half year you’ve been living with the boys, and after every one of them, Lando would always be there to comfort you.

You hated that every single one of your relationships – if you could even call them that – would always end the same way: they wanted something you couldn’t give them. You had figured it out by now; after so many break-ups, you had come to the conclusion that you were the problem and you’d end up alone. It would end after about a month every single time. Why? Because you couldn’t let them in.

You had never been really lucky relationship-wise. The very few times you found someone you allowed in, they’d leave you heartbroken. Because of that, you haven’t been able to do it again, afraid of the same thing happening once more.

“Maybe you should try to find a different type of guy. I think that could help,” Lando said, trying his best to be helpful. He knows where your relationships are getting stuck; you had confessed to him, although it took much convincing to get you to finally admit it. Also, he has enough of this being a regular occurrence, so he will give any suggestion he can come up with to ensure you don't come home disappointed from your dates any longer.

"How would a different type of guy help? I’m the one who can’t open up. I’m the issue,” you mumbled with your head still hiding in his chest.

“I don’t think that’s true. If you don’t feel like you can open yourself up, then the guy is not right for you. Maybe you should try picking guys up someplace other than the club or online.”

“Are you really questioning my choice of men?” You ask Lando, lifting your head up to look at him, squinting your eyes. Who is he to say you're choosing the wrong people? It's not as if he's picking the greatest, most wonderful girls for dating.

“Well, so far it’s not really working out it, is it?”

The look you gave him said enough, but really, you knew he was right.

“Look, I know it’s your decision to make but every time you come back from those dates disappointed, and I think you deserve better than that. Don’t you agree?” He waited for you to answer, but you were unresponsive as you put your head back down on Lando’s chest. “So, maybe it’s time to look elsewhere.”

“Where am I supposed to meet guys then?”

Lando thought for a second. He thought about how maybe you didn’t need to meet a new guy, that maybe you should look at the people already around you. At the people you had already let in, and who hadn’t broken your heart. But he couldn’t say that straight out. You would ask him what he meant, who he was talking about: was he referring to himself? He'd say no, but you'd look straight through him. He knew you well enough to know how well you knew him.

“I don’t know. Your work? At the shops?” Should he say it? If he brought it up naturally, maybe you wouldn’t notice he was talking about himself. Fuck it.

“Maybe you’ve already met someone you could be in a relationship with, but you haven’t realised it.”

You looked up again, brows furrowed. “What on earth does that mean?”

Lando shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe you could fall in love with someone you already know, someone you’ve already let in, someone you’re already friends with,” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

You looked at him while you thought about it. “And who would that be?”

Silence.

“You?” You continued.

Fuck. Of course, you’d know Lando was talking about himself. He expected no differently, although he had hoped, and wished, you didn't realise it so quickly.

“Someone like me, yeah,” Lando responded, still looking away.

“Someone like you, or you?” You whispered.

He finally looked at you. “Maybe me.”

“Yeah?” You responded, holding the eye contact.

“Yeah”

You thought about it for a short moment, and came to your conclusion; “I’d like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah," you confirmed.

Silence, again. But this time he held your eye.

“Can I kiss you?” You whispered.

“Yeah.”

[mrhaitch]

Hello Mr.Haitch!!

I hope you’re having a fun weekend at your parents ^^

1) Do you have any phobias? Or a general disgust for something? For instance, reptiles of any and every kind, make my skin crawl.

Just an hour ago, I was in my balcony, and my soul almost left my body as I peeped a house lizard in the corner. I’m kinda ashamed to say that I shrieked like a banshee, to the amusement of my neighbor in the apartment opposite mine😭 I think all the lizards should be wiped out right alongside the ducks…the lizards disgust me🫠

2) I’m gonna ask you the same question I asked Haitch yesterday— if you were to be an anime baddie villain , what would be your default outfit and theme song? Bonus- what would be your special power or weapon? And in this villain arc will Haitch be your partner in crime?

3) Between you and Haitch who is a better driver? Do you know how to ride a motorcycle?

Or a horse? (When I was in middle school I had to choose between horse riding and skating as extra curriculars and for some reason my mum thought that horse riding was a safer option lol. I haven’t ridden a horse in forever)

4) Do your kids like watching cartoons? Is there any cartoon that you hate but your kids love?

5) Lastly, I’m gonna start studying for my French B1 level DELF certification exam (which is in three months) any pointers you could give me? I’m actually very nervous about that exam

Thank you for your time, I hope you have a relaxing weekend~

1. Heights, spiders (but I still deal with them), and cars. Well, car crashes to be specific - I walked away from a couple of big ones when I was a kid so I'm not the most stoic of passengers at times. I've got a good handle on it now, and am a fairly confident driver.

2. Jesus. Okay.

The outfit would be something practical, probably along similar lines to what I wear on stage: black t-shirt and black utility trousers with a pair of sturdy boots, probably accompanied by some kind of jacket (basically what I wear now).

Music wise: if we're going villain arc, let's make it something tragic. It'd have to be something by Breaking Benjamin (Feed the Wolf) or A Day to Remember (2nd Sucks).

Special weapons and powers: a whole host of medieval weaponry, probably supported by extreme durability or maybe teleportation.

3. Haitch, definitely. I can ride neither.

4. They do, and none come to mind honestly. We all love Bluey.

5. I'm terrible with languages, but I'd look at past advice given on how to structure study time effectively to avoid burnout.

[grapefruit-personified]

Do you actually watch barca league games? As someone who watches every single one you would understand how crucial alexia is to the team. Just because results wise barca haven’t dropped says nothing about alexia’s impact. For months we struggled through a lot of games since her injury the team felt disjointed and often struggled a lot. Thankfully we have a lot of exceptional players who make up for the difficulties in the team as a whole with individual moments of brilliance. But that’s what makes alexia so special that she is able to shine above all the other stars and dominate. Beth had a fantastic euros but arguably went missing in the biggest games e.g. against spain and germany. If you really want to base it on the euros performance i would argue keira walsh was a better and more important player but of course just because she doesn’t score goals nobody considers her.

Since you want to be condescending, yes I do in fact watch plenty of Barca, I have actually gone out of my way to be able to see them in person. Hell, I have even met multiple Barca players Alexia included and they were all such sweet and kind women. I'm not going to deny the team struggled, the team also had plenty of major changes going into this new season, along with plenty of the Barca players also having conflict with their federation so Alexia's injury wasn't the only catalyst that could have caused disjointedness. Alexia while yes has an impact I HAVE NEVER DENIED THAT you yourself even state that the team has "a lot of exceptional players" so putting all of Barca's success on Alexia is kind of a slap in the face to all of them.

Beth's Euro performance was in my own opinion great you don't become the first person to win the golden ball and player of the tournament for nothing, I also think she performed well for Arsenal. The logic you used about Barca being disjointed after Alexia's injury can also be used for the struggle that Arsenal is feeling right now that was only exasperated after Viv also got injured.

Keira has had a great performance for club and country, and in fact, if you decided to even look a little further past the posts that include Alexia on my page you would see that I talk about this exact issue. More defensive players who maybe don't score goals a lot don't get the recognition they deserve and it's an insult to the sport as a whole to never even give their success the light of day.

Just because you have some complex about protecting your favorite at all cost doesn't mean I'm an idiot, it doesn't mean I have no clue what I'm talking about and it doesn't mean I don't have a right to my own god damn opinion. People will say I'm being aggressive but honestly the amount of absolutely hate-filled ask I have gotten simply because I don't agree with who won a stupid award is honestly insane and I'm honestly really tired of it.

[todayisafridaynight]

Dude saying people haven't had any major complaints about rgg games after 0 is DERANGED LMAO did you conveniently forget about the response to 6 💀 most you hear about it is people disliking it... the response to 7? wasn't all that sunshine and flowers either considering the new protag and gameplay style. gaiden was also not that appreciated by quite a few people.

Also in case you forgot gaiden was written after 8...... not before...... the quality did not "go down"

Saying they hyped 8 too much as an excuse to hate on the story is also hilarious... that's on you my guy all they said it that it would be the longest game yet + a grand adventure... which... it was...

IMO Maybe you should replay the game and pay attention since stuff you complain about is... just wrong? You have the entire security company plot wrong...

It really seems like you're just viewing 7 like it was the best masterpiece ever written now that 8 has come out. Be honest dude 7's story is just as messy as you make out 8 to be

response became longer than i thought it'd be LMAO SO rest of the reponse is under the cut so i dont jumpscare anyone with a wall of text

If i made it sound as though i think titles from 0-7 were all perfect with no flaws nor complaints, then i’m happy to agree that those titles actually aren’t perfect and they do have flaws (as if i have to remind everyone anyway how i feel about Y7’s ending, but i dont think its ending is its only flaw on top of that). Highlighting 6 in its entirety is a great example of that really, as i still (rightfully lol) regularly see criticisms for 6 without needing to look for it. However, acting as though- bar 6- the rest of the rgg titles following 0 haven’t received minimal complaints is just dishonest. As i said prior, i don’t doubt that people have their issues (i remember specifically that someone criticized yagami’s character as saying it was nonexistent and that lost judgment as a whole is awkward with its characterization of its previous cast members), but compared to the likes of 1-5, it’s less common to see people’s grievances naturally; original titles following 6 were both judgment games, Y7, and gaiden, entries that i seldom see get the same treatment as pre-0 games (plot wise anyhow- i still remember when everyone was complaining about y7’s gameplay to me LOL). That’s what makes the quality of IW’s story so jarring: nearly five games in a row (again, minus 6) of satisfactory stories, and now there’s an entry whose shortcomings are glaring in comparison. Whatever ill will people had towards 0 especially back then doesn’t compare to how often 0 nowadays is put on a pedestal as one of- if not the best- title in rgg’s history (whether that title is accurate is subjective of course, but as a consensus that’s the opinion easily observable)

Gaiden being written alongside- if not mostly after- IW isnt grounds to excuse its writing. Arguably, the timeline of the games being produced could have ended up shooting IW’s writing in the foot (off the top of my head, i think of hanawa’s presence feeling less significant not just to the plot, but to kiryu compared to how we saw them in gaiden. He isn’t a major character overall of course, but kiryu’s reaction to his death felt more cold than you would’ve expected considering their established relationship). The overall warm reception gaiden received, once more, is what makes IW’s story’s shortcomings more obvious, especially when the titles were released less than three months apart.

The atmosphere leading up to IW’s release additionally didn’t help hide its storytelling quality. While i concede that yokoyama didn’t word-for-word say it would be the ‘best game’, alongside the RGG summit and yokoyama building up the hype of the game and wanting to build upon their prior successes was the start to building expectations. Particularly the quote saying that the efforts they put into Y8 compared to Y7 made the game ‘end up being about 130%’.

Alongside that quote, hiroyuki sakamoto and yoko promoted that IW was a result of ‘gritt[ing] [their] teeth… put[ting] everything we have at ryu ga gotoku studios’

in fairness, it is their job to build up hype for their products, especially when using language like ‘festival-like’ in interviews. With that anticipation however, it’s expected that we find the final product warranting these praises (and gameplay wise, it absolutely does- it’s just the story that falls flat).

even despite the team’s advertising, IW was nominated for one of the most anticipated titles at the game awards last year, and the copious amounts of early-launch reviews giving the title a clean, unanimous 10/10, 9/10, and 5/5 and dubbing it not just one of rgg’s best entries, but one of the best rpgs period was- again- doing an excellent job at making the title worth looking forward to. If the official team wasn’t calling it their best entry verbatim, then consumers were doing so, which is typically the reviews we value the most in practice. All of these in mind, there’s minimal fault on the players for walking into the game imaging they’d have an exemplary experience both gameplay and storywise.

As i previously admitted, i can accept that my memory can be spotty and i’m absolutely capable of misremembering things. However i don’t imagine i got the security plot wrong: after the tojo and omi dissolved, daigo and co set out to start their security company as they said they would. Business was fine until rumors began to spread, and despite doing ‘all they could’ they ultimately had to shut down. Im not sure what i could have missed, though i dont doubt that’s the basic rundown of the plot- a plot that, if portrayed efficiently, wouldn’t have garnered so much criticism from myself.

Rounding things off, i agree that i can let my biases guide my opinions- but that doesn’t mean it’s accurate to say y7 (and other recent entries- subtracting 6)’s flaws are comparable to IW’s storytelling. again, by no means are the other entries perfect (nor did i say they were, just that they demonstrated enjoyable stories compared to IW’s and less casual criticisms), but when comparing the quality of them to IW’s plot and characters, it’s fair to say there was a noticeable shift in quality. I still enjoy IW and i agree with the reviewers praising its gameplay, its story is the only gripe i have with it.

[sapphicsandscience]

20 questions for fic writers

Not going to lie - no one tagged me in this lol - but I am doing it .

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

47.

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

322,829.

Crazy number for me. I know some have literal millions but I can’t believe I’ve written that much in like the last two or three years??

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Star Trek (TNG/VOY/PIC & some DS9). ER and Criminal Minds more so in the past. But ER I’ll never leave you.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Aster

- my labor of love - no pun intended.

- i WILL finish her (manifest it pls).

A Flame In Your Heart

- going to be honest writing post s3 isn’t something that interests me the most.

- however, this is a cute story and i wish i had some more ideas for it as i feel like i lack direction.

I Should Have Moved Moons For You

- ahhh.

- a fic I really should have pre-written before posting but i do have fun with it.

- i am half confident she will be finished in time but it stresses me out thinking about it and my outline lol.

- but like most of my WIPs the chapters are all outlined and i do have semi-concrete endings for them or at least know the main plot.

A Lot Of Things Can Happen In Two Months

- like the concept but i think i could have written it better ?

- feels a bit messy but also there are a lot of feelings in it.

- but happy i got it finished !! and i am proud of it overall.

Eighteen Minutes

- ngl I forgot I wrote this lol.

- the only one-shot here.

- def benefited kudos wise from being posted after the second episode aired.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! And I love to give comments regardless if I get a reply from the author. But personally, I like to reply back as the commenter has taken their time to do this. And you can have some really lovely and funny interactions in the comments haha … I just love talking about fic.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well…it would have to be either of the ones I killed Beverly in - Last contact or Too Late.

Not sure which is more angstiest?

However, as for a multichap ending that ends the most angstiest and wasn’t written to be a character-death-fic - maybe - A Lot Of Things Can Happen In Two Months. Which sucks cause it’s pretty much canon compliant LOL.

Hmm now I am tempted to write another multichap with a less than happy ending…

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics that have an ‘ending’ are WIPS that I haven’t finished yet lol.

But maybe Our Turn - it’s just Beverly and Jean-Luc enjoying everything wonderful in their lives <3

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not really - I doubt anyone cares enough lol. But I am ‘fortunate’ that some of the more ‘controversial’ ships I may write have had writers come before me and take the brunt of any crap :(( but they’ve created a lovely sandbox for the rest of us to play in <3

9. Do you write smut?

Not often but I have yeah…and *deep breaths* … I have no idea if I am even acceptable at it LOL. It’s definitely something I sometimes want to add to my fics and lately I’ve been giving in a little.

Okay, someone tell me if I am terrible and I will stop.

10. Do you write crossovers?

It’s not my go to thing but yes I have. Including the fusion ER/TNG fic that three people have probably read (but three people I love).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but that would be cool as!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! With my lovely and supportive ER fic buddies ❤️

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Not sure how best to answer this. It is very dependant on my current hyperfixation and I am one of those sapphics that very much is into the woman more than the man in terms of interest in f/m ships…

However, at the moment it’s Beverly/Jean-Luc and I can say I am definitely more invested and interested in Jean-Luc’s character than I have been with other men in f/m ships. So that’s another reason.

But I love to read/write Crusher/Janeway ❤️ and LOVE those characters. Kerry/Sandy too is special to me.

Can honestly say apart from helping me give Emily Prentiss a baby in my fics I never cared that much for any of her ships I wrote (sorry 😭).

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

Probably better I don’t answer this. It stresses me out cause I want them all to be done 😭

I’ll answer with a WIP I never posted which was a dystopian AU with Kerry and Sandy. Field medicine, babies (it’s me so ofc) and friends trying to survive together.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmm - I think I can come up with some good ideas. I can be good at description and introspection … probably more than dialogue.

And I am very strong in the art of giving Beverly Crusher lots of babies. And also making her go through angsty stuff. But I make up for that with the babies I think.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Long intricate plots ? I would love to be better as balancing many themes and plot points in one story. I struggle with dialogue sometimes as well.

Also I am very word count preoccupied at times which is a hindrance as a writer. I sometimes really struggle to get anything out in a session then can overcompensate later by writing too much? But honestly either way I just let myself go with the flow these days otherwise I stress about it.

Yeah and I probably need to edit better.

And smut.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Is this controversial?? I don’t have any issue with it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

(redacted)

20. Favourite fic you've written?

These are both not what I would consider my best work (idk what that even is) but probably Gone (Ice)fishing or It Takes A Village.

Both were written as gifts and out of my comfort zone (for different reasons) but I am really proud of them both.

But I also love some of my Kerry/Sandy one-shots I did here on this blog. And Aster is definitely a personal accomplishment in terms of length as a writer. I love it too ❤️.

Oh, also - To Build A Home - cause it’s tragic & angsty but also BABY🥹 - it’s just my brand.

—————————————————

Okay -I’ll shut up now.

Anyone feel free to do this and tag me.

[swluminekin]

To the one theorist who bounces theories with me:

Thank you.

Do you know that I haven’t theorized properly in at least years almost 4 at this point? We have a mutual friend - you know who I mean - and they can tell you that a lot of the time I’m still scared. They can tell you my story - I think they already have - but it would be better if it came from me.

There was a time a few years back - the “before times” if you will of the world as we know it now. The ego fires didn’t go out because we were always getting new information, new tastes, new hints. It was early days of the official community server, run by the gladiator himself. The theories channel was always busy but it got to a point where things died down a little. Basically people started pulling at straws to figure things out. I had seen one person mention something, and I tried to voice my own thoughts, agreeing with them. Immediately, I was shut down and told that I was wrong. Didn’t really give a good reason as to why, just shut me down completely.

Not too long after that, in a completely different community in a completely different place, I put out another theory. Once again, I was near immediately shut down, told I was wrong. They at least had some sort of explanation, but for the most part they just shut me down and told me I was wrong.

I was hurt, lost. I felt that if I theorized anything, thought anything, I would be hated, told I was wrong, be berated and yelled at. Just for thinking, for theorizing, for having fun. In my mind, if I couldn’t theorize, then I couldn’t create. If I couldn’t create, that meant I couldn’t do any form of art, which included stories and any sort of drawing.

For months I was hurting, the only person I could turn to being our friend. When I tried to do anything creative or theorist wise, I would always hesitate or stop entirely. It caused me physical pain to even try. There were even times when I would cry because I wanted to return to theorizing, to creating so bad, but I felt that I couldn’t. They listened to me cry and comforted me because I wanted to return to that but was afraid to.

Eventually I found I could draw again. But when I drew, the art felt hollow - at least it did to me. I was excited that I could do art again but it just... never felt right. Even when did “draw this in your own style” stuff, it didn’t feel right.

I don’t even remember what happened, what video caused it, but one day I finally wrote a theory. Specifically, it was the Convergence theory. But I was so scared about what I was talking about and that I would be shut down again that I felt like I had to show my proof, show that I knew what I was talking about. I pointed out specific videos and discussions and Instagram posts. Heck, I even put up the pictures of the discord channel as well as my proof as to the channel’s naming.

Because I was scared.

After I wrote that theory, I was tired. I was so worn down. It was all because I felt like I had to prove myself. Like I had to show the world that I had something solid to back me up. Our friend could tell you that while I was proud of myself, I was exhausted and had one hell of a headache. (To be completely honest, I’m surprised at how well the Convergence theory is still holding up three years later with the I.R.I.S. lore? Like what?)

Ever since, I’ve rarely done theories - maybe having done a couple here and there, but not many. If I theorize, I’ve almost never written them down, I’ve just said them out loud. But I’m able to draw again, and I can write stories again. But I’ve never been able to really feel proud of myself, feel completely happy with anything I’ve done. All because of that fear of failure as an artist, creator, and theorist.

Then you came around. You looked at my theories. You were willing to bounce off of me. Counter me with “... but this... and because of...” rather than just “No and I won’t say why.” You’ve helped me with relearning and accepting my theorist side. The fact that we can bounce theories off of each other has helped me to think about things again. Our friend can tell you this. I still don’t theorize like I used to, but to know that I’ve actually somewhat met people who understand what I’m talking about, who accept me and my theories and thoughts? It helps to ease the process and the want to write them down again.

So I say to you again, thank you.

Your mutual theorist,

“Scarlet”

[calypso-finale]

Eighty Nine. Part 2

I left everyone behind and got on the jet and came to London, I wasn’t going to wait around. Rylee was saying about going and I said no, and just left them. There is no news at all, it’s like everyone is hell bent on telling me it was on scene, and I refuse, Oakley doesn’t do that shit so why the fuck would he. I am hurting, like that is really out of character of him and I haven’t spoken to him for months because of this shit, everything became awkward for us, and I understand why but I missed him, I did. I pray he didn’t do this on purpose, like he can’t have done that to himself. He is in remission, and he has the new baby, Aziel wants him. What is he playing at to do that, I hope it’s not him doing that to himself. YBeez said he would meet me outside hospital, he said that it’s very busy and nobody is speaking. His family won’t allow anybody, nobody is saying anything and that is his manager, so I won’t get far “here, I know this guy” I pointed, Ybeez waited for me on the corner because the hospital itself is full of fans and people there “Chris” shaking his hand as he got into the car, nodding my head “I am in shock, like it’s been hours. Sun rising, not a word, nothing. Like he made me, a big guy like me cry. I love that kid, raised him like my own so I am just here confused. They keep saying like he gone, and nobody want to say shit, I refuse to believe that. I just don’t know bro, like I just hear this shit out of nowhere? I spoke to him when he had his new kid and then this?” YBeez shook his head “why ain’t you in there?” I asked “locked off, they won’t let anyone in. Family wise” looking at my driver “I need to go go there and get as close as you can, I need to go there. Like on god, I love that boy, I refuse to let him go out like that, he is crazy to think he leaving us. We just broke communication when this all started, and now I am just hating myself for that” shaking my head “he wasn’t been himself, I know that for sure” putting my head down “of course he wasn’t” seeing the biggest crowd outside the hospital “wow” I said “I told you, they been singing his songs outside since, like it’s giving me goosebumps, but I want to know what is happening. You think if we push through we can get there” nodding my head “oh for sure, I’m not letting up. We will get out here, join the party outside. This is crazy” they really out here just busting out songs for Oakley, they are really showing out for him. Getting out of the car, seeing this, this love is amazing, and he is loved just in that moment he didn’t feel it and we can’t blame him for it “wow” YBeez said, I feel emotional “yeah” I breathed out, this is hitting my heart too, they are just singing his songs and chanting his name “let’s go” YBeez placed his hand on my back to walk, I sniffled putting my head down.

To see people crying, to see them really just expressing themself for him. Nobody knows what is happening, but we know he is here “I am his manager, this is his brother” YBeez lied, the police are locking the place off “we know that ain’t true, right? But go through” he let us go through which is a plus “thank you” tapping on my story, I have to post this because the love, I just know he ain’t leaving us like this. Rylee was being dramatically bad, like the girl was wanting to top herself with painkillers, she was scaring Aziel and he was crying because of her, I left and came here and told her to stay away because she is unstable, and nobody wants to see her face here realistically. Adding a caption to the story ‘Real love’ pressing send “Rimz, bro! Hey!” YBeez shouted, he looked at us “what the fuck is happening!?” He asked him “can’t get further, the guys are here. I saw Wadz, but he is being consoled. He found him, I don’t know where they at with him” walking off, I need to know more because this whole notion of him maybe not here with his is making me sick, I can’t accept that “if you are asking about Central Cee then no” she said to me “no but I’m asking about Oakley” her face dropped “well I wasn’t expecting that but still I can’t, the hospital is filled with everyone asking” nodding my head, where else would they have someone that had an overdose, intensive care “alright, B. Come with me” I said walking off, I’ll find it myself. There may be police there because of the fans and everyone but I can work it, I need to know what happened to him properly. I need to know he is with us, I can’t deal with the thought of losing him, I love that boy. I feel I let him down but it’s so hard when my daughter is just stupid” looking behind me “what we doing?” He asked “intensive care, where else would he be? I refuse to believe that he is dead, I won’t accept that shit. He is with us” YBeez nodded his head, I know he is deflated but I can’t believe that he is not with us, I refuse to cry too because he is with us “you right bro” walking up the stairs because I don’t want anyone peeping where we going, I just know he is in there because where else would he be.

I just knew it, I knew he would be on this floor, and I was right “Wyge, please tell me he’s ok” Wyge turned around, they are all outside because it’s intensive so you can’t exactly go in there. His whole family is here, they are all here, Wyge walked over to us slowly and he is crying, that is making me sick because why is he crying “I need you to tell me he’s ok” I said to him “oh fuck, I just” he wiped his tears “he erm, look I can’t speak” he shook his head “please just tell me” I sniffled “please” wiping my tears “bro please” he sobbed out “I’m sorry, I just” placing my arm around him “Oakley wouldn’t do that to us, man. He knows he is needed” Wyge cried on my shoulder, now I am crying “fuck” I said “Wadz” I said, he sniffled “we don’t know” he just said, “it’s been hours!?” I spat “exactly” he mumbled “it’s been so long that I’m scared that they going to say it, I rather they didn’t do I’m content with not hearing anything. With everyone here and wanting to know, outside being a mess they are taking their time. But erm, I found him” he sniffled “he found out the baby wasn’t his, and it tipped him over the edge. He tried to play it off cool and said to Kenza, it’s fine we friends. He left, I followed him, and he just shrugged it off. And then he sees a clip he was tagged in and” he sniffled “he watched it and it’s the Kardashian thing, it’s a trailer and Aziel is in it. It’s the first time we seen him since, and he just burst out crying, then Saint is playing ball with him, and he just cried. Like it’s been so long since he seen him and he’s grown, so like that hit him hard, that all this was for nothing, the battle, the arguments. Everything, so we went back to his mom home, he told her. And I said to him like I’m going to be here for you, but it’s Oakley. He just keeps quiet, everything will be ok he said. He was calling people, and texting. He said to me drive me to the store, I did. He took a while, I see a guy we used to hang with he came out, Oakley did too. He came back with a bag, he got in. I drove him to the apartment.”

“He said I’m good, see you tomorrow. I watched him walk in; I never drove off. I just sat outside his place, for a good hour you know, just thinking of him. Like I have lived through it with him, I have a loving family, I never got kicked out, I have it. But he my bro so we ride it together, so whatever he went through I did. I made myself homeless for him, but I always had a home. But yeah, I thought fuck it. I’ll go in, got out and went inside. I have access to his place, so yeah. I went in, I shouted aloud saying look I just rather be with you bro, went inside and I see his shoe, like he is laid out but moving and I just rushed. I see bro on the floor, he is having seizure, I saw him just there, I didn’t know what to do man, I didn’t” he sobbed out, hugging him “you did your best, whatever you did you did right by him, don’t cry” I feel for Wadz “Wajid” looking up “me” he looked behind him “you are the next of kin” my heart fell “nah bro, nah” he shook his head “I am his mother! What do you mean, speak to me” she shouted “can I speak to the next of kin and the parents, please. Follow me” the doctor said “and Juke, his brother please” I am shaking myself “fuck” I breathed out “I am just going off what is on the paperwork, I am sorry” he apologised to his mom “I gave birth to him! That is my boy!” she screamed “I think he tried to take his own life” Wyge mumbled “he did” looking at him “he been really on edge, he really has been. I think things were just adding, he was saying how tired he is. He doesn’t sleep, he is just stressed out. He has medication for it too, but it isn’t working, like I think he really did that. And it kills me that I wasn’t there for him” I am just worried about what is going to be said in that room “please god, he deserves life. He deserves to be happy” I said to myself, I am praying to god, this can’t be it “he doesn’t understand how much we love him, I love my bro so much” Wyge is so emotional, he won’t stop crying.

Utter silence between us all, nothing is being spoken. We can’t speak because what is there to say, “why is police here?” I asked Wyge “because there was people coming here, fans and stuff” nodding my head “they here” I said pushing myself off of the wall, they look sad but not crying I don’t know what to think of it “come, come” Wadz said to us, making our way over “Neil, speak” Wadz said “he is in an induced coma, he is stable but in a coma. I think we can all agree this is good news, they pumped his stomach, to get any trace of tablets, Wadz found the tablets there. A lot of it got into his system but they gave him Naloxone, to counter what he did. It worked but Oakley had a seizure, they are concerned for his head, his brain so they have put him into an induced coma until the swelling has calmed down, but he is stable and that is all they have. They don’t know for anything else, but for what it is worth” Neil strained out, he paused looking down trying to not cry “he is still in remission, his cancer check up came back clear for that, but wow. My boy” he turned away, shaking my head. He really tried to take his life “my god” shaking my head “YBeez, put something out” Wadz said to him, he really did that, and I am sad and hurt that he got to that point that he was done “I didn’t think he would have done that, man” Ybeez mumbled, I think we are in shock but glad he is stable but what damage did he do to himself. His body is already trying to heal, and now this but he is the type to not care “Rylee didn’t need to do what she did, his character wasn’t what she was saying and doing, he was tired” I put my head down, I told my daughter to stop but she wasn’t listening to anyone but herself.

Pressing my phone to my ear as it rang out, I am calling Robyn to tell her “poppa” she answered “hey, I thought I would let you know, YBeez is putting something out, Oakley is stable. He is in a coma, he tried to take an overdose what it looks like to me, they won’t confirm anything just that he is stable and there is complications because he had a seizure and he fell and hurt his head, there is swelling so that is why. But if Wadz didn’t find him in time” my voice broke “we would be speaking on something else, I feel so bad. For someone to do that he was on their last straw, and Wadz said he saw the trailer for the Kardashian, and he also found out the child isn’t his” Robyn gasped “no way!?” she spat “oh my god, no this is so bad. The poor boy” I feel like shit “it’s like you battled nothing, it was nothing and you missed months for what, good guys always finish last. I am fucking so upset for him” I sniffled “I feel so bad, I wasn’t there for him” wiping my eye “I understand, I am just keeping an eye on Rylee. She is devastated, I am not telling her a thing, let her find out with the rest. I am not going to tell her it was your fault just yet, she is so upset” doing things like that has consequences “she had a big part to play in it but you right” I rather she didn’t point fingers just yet.

[yaminerua]

Hhhh my face is giving me hell

well I guess it was nice to have a couple of months where my face was marginally less red but with the anti-inflammatory antibiotics course done and finished it’s just erupted right back to where it was before I’d started on it, minus the spots but I’m sure they’ll come back as soon as the inflammation goes unchecked for long enough.

idk what I’m going to do tbh I’ve done all I can wrt changing my diet and trying to cut out everything that triggers this perpetual flush but it seems to just do it on its own with no discernible immediate trigger. I wake up with it before I’ve even eaten or done anything, or it sets in several hours after any meal regardless of what was eaten (and also I eat the same shit every day atm to try to monitor it for consistency and there IS no consistency). I eat the blandest shit with no seasonings atm bc it’s supposed to be safe from flare ups and I don’t touch any of the things on most trigger lists. And yet now it’s the same as tho I’d had a big old tomatoey curry even tho I haven’t touched tomatoes or spices of any kind since early June.

Thermal temperature is hard to control but I do know it plays a role. I can’t eat my meals warm, I have to wait for them to be cold. And bc this house heats like a sauna on even mildly warm days but it gets frigid cold on cold ones and when the heating is on that’s just as bad as if it was a warm day and i have to sit with a fan on to try to keep burning out of control.

I can do nothing about that or the heat in the kitchen when cooking. But even with those factors there was still a good period in the middle of this course of meds where my face was relatively calm and only faintly pink and yet it’s slipped back over the last two weeks as tho I wasn’t still on those meds at all. And aside from meds reducing inflammation idk what else made it work before that isn’t now bc as mentioned I haven’t changed anything about what I’m doing. My routine is the same now as it was at the end of June and yet the response is completely different.

I’ve been using my calming skincare shit this whole time too but that’s burning a hole in my pocket. I thought it was working bc it does usually have an immediate redness reduction effect when I use it but now it doesn’t feel like it’s working either.

it’s like my face is just immune to every attempt I’m making to calm it

at this point I can only assume it’s a negative feedback loop from stress. It must be something like that. It’s the only other thing that’s completely out of my control

irl is so stressful rn money wise and I’m perpetually waiting for terrible news to do with the house that I know is coming bc the deadline is reached and there’s nothing that can be done about it and it’s been looming and destroying my mental health for ages. I can’t use stress relief methods bc I’ve never ever found one that works in any capacity at all so I’m always stressed and that makes my face flare and that makes the stress worse and you can see how that just goes from there…

I feel pretty hopeless tbh. Like yeah maybe I’ll eventually be able to afford to have some laser therapy (I don’t think I can get it on nhs for this so it’ll need paid for I think) to try to deal with any blood vessels that need shrunk but like I wish I didn’t have to resort to that but it’s basically an inevitability at this point. If I can keep the inflammatory spots happening that’ll be good at least but it’s the redness in the face that makes me want to just never be perceived again bc it was so intense that people would point it out to me like what did you do to your face? I look like someone took a hard edged brush of bright red and drew an exaggerated anime blush in a thick line across my cheeks and nose and I hate it. I look like I’ve been skiing with goggles on in the snow and burnt the shape of the goggles under my eyes

and it burns and prickles and itches so much when it heats up. It’s almost unbearable.

But until then idk how to bring it under control and it’s making me feel so awful.

I mean like. I’m white and Scottish so like. Yeah. So many of us get this shit. Ruddy faces are a common sight. My dad’s side of the family all mostly have it, in the form of the visible blood vessels but all of them only have it localised to the cheeks, like some rosy cheeked Santa Claus look. Nothing on the nose or any kind of diffuse redness all over the face. And none with the inflammatory spots form, or even the burning or hot feeling. It’s like I got a completely different rosacea and it’s just. So unfair. I could handle it if I looked like the rest of my family but I look so much worse and idk how much worse it might go on to look and feel and I’m just.

Tired

Idk maybe it’s just that I handle stress so badly it manifests more severely for me. I’ve had trauma to wrestle with since before I reached double digits in age and there are a great many things I just don’t handle well at all. But god that was bad enough on its own in the ways it hinders my life without all that stress also giving me new issues to be stressed and depressed about. Like honestly what next

I want to do things I enjoy and write and draw and go out and see friends and this shit is sucking all of what little enjoyment I can find in life right out of me. Can’t eat the foods I used to love, can’t exercise in the fun ways I used to, can’t do anything I used to without this horrible burning redness cursing me wherever i go and of course you KNOW it gets worse when I have to wear a covid mask bc of the hot humidity of my breath in the mask but that’s not something i can give up bc covid is still around and I refuse to stop protecting myself from it bc as far as I know I’ve never had it yet and I just know with my luck if I ever get it it’ll fuck me up really bad.

so idk what to do other than sit here venting about it and wanting to cry bc of how awful and hopeless it feels

feel like I’m waiting for a life changing miracle to get rid of my stress but like lmao the world itself is stressful in general with all the awful things going on. How is anyone supposed to feel optimistic or hopeful or not stressed about everything…

Idk what I’d expected after the meds ran out tbh I knew from the start it would only temporarily offer relief and then it would surge back. I just had hoped maybe I’d be wrong.

hhhh fml. I should just go to bed

[getlostinthesounds]

Does the “read more” function still exist on this website?

Oh thank goodness it does. We’re back to virtual diary vibes apparently lmao. Read on at your own risk I guess. This is more for me to remember than anything else.

Being drawn to this site again and doing this diary shit again makes sense. I’m doing all this heavy, heavy childhood trauma processing in therapy right now. Talking about things I haven’t considered or maybe even talked much about as an adult. Reflecting on things so differently than I have before. There isn’t really anyone friends-wise in my life right now who knows about what certain things were like for me when I was at some of the lowest points growing up. Obviously that makes sense. It’s just not something I’ve really sat with before. This website was a place I could put things back then, and in this moment it is again.

I was just down this rabbit hole of music that I listened to in middle school. I was reminded of a song by The Fray that I listened to on repeat so many times, and just kept finding more and more songs and albums that I haven’t listened to in ages. I landed on a different song and boom. I felt in my body an experience I recognized as something I felt so, so often at that age.

I didn’t know what was going on with me and my brain at the time. I just knew I was sad, and hated myself, and I was so angry at everything and everyone. I rarely felt understood. After talking about the shit that was happening at that time yesterday, I’m realizing that so much of what was happening to me was grief. Heavy, horrible grief that no one really guided me through. I don’t think I ever really connected the dots to that. Like of course it fucked me up to watch one of the only people who always made me feel cared for and unconditionally loved go through a cancer diagnosis, chemo and radiation, fall asleep at the wheel and crash her van into a highway median, have her move into the room next to mine because her family wasn’t providing the level of care she needed when she was incredibly sick, and then she moved back in to her family’s home where I saw her in the process of dying, and said goodbye to her the day before she died — over the course of years, all when I was that young. And it was compounded by so many other things. I began the process of not believing in god a few months after she passed, was fighting with some of my family members a ton, I started dieting by eating only salads for lunch for at least an entire school year, and had my first experience of wanting to die. I’m glad I decided to stay anyway.

I’m grateful to be able to be awake enough again to be present for my middle school self right now. It feels good to be honoring them with the music that kept me alive then. That made me feel less alone. Maybe music can carry me through actually engaging with the present day grief I’m steeped in but often dissociated from around COVID, and the isolation of still being cautious. The grief around Palestine and Sudan and Congo, and the horror of it all. Among others.

[diaryofageminivenus]

Rating the signs (sex wise)

i haven’t had sex with all 12 signs, but i have had sex with a few of them so let’s take a look at the signs.

ARIES - havent had sex with one as of yet

TAURUS - 5/10, he was good at the moment. i was clouded by my hormones & ovulation that i didn’t realize he was a complete weirdo. im mad that he gave me BV, he was uncircumcised as well. (bling)

GEMINI 1 - 6/10, his dick was huge. i just hate car sex, i do wish that i got to fully experience him. (bowler)

GEMINI 2 - 6.9/10, i wish we did more positions. his dick was girthy which was amazing, it probably would’ve been amazing if we actually took the time to have sex instead of just trying to smoke. he was a cool ass person to be around tho. (story coming soon)

CANCER - 8/10, his dick was so pretty. he was an eater, and i loved him so much. although his dick was average he knew exactly how to work it. he was almost my first nut, but he always came before i could. he took the time to actually experiment and learn the things i like. he actually cared for me and wanted to always make sure i was good. (bonnet)

LEO - haven’t had sex with one as of yet.

VIRGO - give it a month maybe and i’ll have sex with one.

LIBRA - 1/10, small dick. he did make me extremely wet, i will not explain further. i will MAYBE write a story on him.

SCORPIO - 3/10, lost my virginity to him but nothing about the experience was truly memorable. the dick was subpar but that head? omg i almost melted out of my body that’s how good the head was. (stoner)

SAGITTARIUS - 9/10, he took his time with me, this man is up there with the biggest dicks ever. he took care of me, i couldn’t nut from his dick because it was too big for me to really just be comfortable, but he was amazing. i did nut from his head. i miss him at times, but i think that door is closed especially after the terms we left off. (swimmer)

CAPRICORN - havent fucked one yet, might not actually idk.

AQUARIUS 1- 6/10, he was a little musty, and he was quite rough with me. other than that he was a good lay. he wanted to fuck again but i just couldn’t bring myself to do it again, i feel pretty bad about it but thats in the past now.

AQUARIUS 2- 4/10, his dick was big but why did i even fuck him for real? he wasn’t bad at sex but it was just boring, like i really gained a body for us to just do missionary, backshots, and the occasional ride. he also acted pretty hollywood which was weird to me (bimbo)

PISCES - 9.6/10, save a horse ride a cowboy amiright???? lmaooo, but this man made me cum 4 times in one night. who knew a one night stand would be my best body, i want to go back and experience him again. he wasn’t even the biggest dick ever, it was just his aura that made me comfortable around him. (cowboy)

if this list puts anything into perspective, it’s that I attract water and air signs a lot. i mainly attract air signs, maybe it’s because of my venus. i would definitely recommend water signs for head.

[kaseyskat]

hello everyone! so. i am still on my own personal mini hiatus but over said hiatus i have been developing... a swap au! it's going to take me forever to write said swap au, but here is a little drabble set somewhere post reunion storyline-wise, for y'all :333

~~

“The moon in Amphibia is red?”

The question is uttered breathlessly, as Anne herself stares up at the sky in awe. The bags under her eyes, here, are less profound, and she only looks wistful, less haunted. This is, inexplicably, a good thing, because Marcy thinks she might cry if her Anne keeps looking so sad.

“Isn’t it unique?” she says in response, sitting down next to Anne on the hill overlooking the town. It’s peaceful now, but Marcy has some potions tucked neatly into the pockets she had sewn herself into her cape, and Anne has the sword she had stolen from the tower, and maybe she’d be more worried if this were any other situation but it’s Anne.

It’s Anne.

That shouldn’t make Marcy feel as nervous and tingly as it does.

“This place is so weird,” Anne snorts, but she scoots over when Marcy sits down, allowing her space to lean against the tree. It’s not quite big enough for them both, though, so Marcy just ends up half leaning against Anne’s shoulder, tucked away neatly into her with a sigh. “I mean, giant bugs? Red moons? These gigantic herons attacked the tower once a little bit ago, it was… the most fun I had while I was there, honestly.”

“I’m sorry,” Marcy says, automatically.

“You’ve apologized so many times, Marmar,” Anne says listlessly, though she does turn her head with the smallest, wry little smile on her face, “I get it, it’s okay. I mean, you didn’t mean for us to end up so far away from each other, right?”

“Of course not!” Marcy protests, and she takes one of Anne’s hands very gently, squeezing it between her own. “I never wanted to put you in danger, you know? You’re… everything to me. I wish I could’ve gotten you out of the tower sooner.”

“Aww, Marmar,” Anne sniffs, and the smile on her face morphs into something… real. “Thanks. I know you haven’t had the best time here either, huh?”

“Well, I did live in the woods for a month,” Marcy recalls, and she crosses her legs at the ankle, still holding Anne’s hand as she leans against her. “It was really cool, but also really dangerous! Also, there’s not much to eat if you don’t know what’s poisonous or not… and I sprained my ankle really badly at the beginning, did I tell you that?”

“You didn’t, no,” Anne shakes her head, and there’s something akin to amusement sparkling in her eyes when Marcy looks up at her. “I… like hearing you talk about yourself.”

Marcy squints at her quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“Well, back home, you would talk a lot, but… never about yourself? It was always about other things.” Anne shrugs, and she squeezes Marcy’s hand. “I had a lot of time to think, in the tower, and I realized… I feel like I don’t know you very well anymore.”

“Oh, Anne,” Marcy coos, “that wasn’t your fault, that was mine.”

Anne just looks at her, big and owlish.

“I was…” and she trails off here, because she’s barely come to terms with her own flaws, she only just started growing the confidence needed to put herself out there, surely she shouldn’t be saying stuff like this yet? But no, it’s Anne, and Anne, her oldest and dearest friend, deserves to know. “I hid myself a lot, you know? I can recognize that now. I was so afraid that you and Sasha would hate me - or worse, that you already did and were only tolerating me for what I could do for you - that I backed away on purpose. And my parents had so many expectations for me, it was just easier to hide behind the lives of fictional characters and everything else. So don’t blame yourself, Anna-Banana: it was all me.”

“But I like who I am now,” and Marcy brushes at her hair, giggling at how it falls over her eye, “I’m not ashamed of myself anymore. I want to be someone that you are proud to be friends with, you know?”

She squeaks, then, because Anne has pulled her into a hug, wrapping arms around her shoulders. It’s one of the most awkward experiences of Marcy’s life, but she leans into it, sighing as Anne squeezes her tightly, so tightly she can almost forget the absolute mortification of spilling her own secrets into the air.

“I am proud of you,” Anne whispers, and her voice is all hoarse, like the words have gotten caught in her throat. “I mean, look at you, you’ve grown so much! I hope…” she trails off here, and then laughs, pulling away from the hug with a shake of her head, “nevermind. I’m glad you’re doing okay here, Marbles.”

“Just you wait, Annie, you’ll see how cool Wartwood is,” Marcy promises, and though they’re not hugging anymore, she leans against Anne’s arm once again, keeping that same closeness. “They’ve already accepted me here, so they’ll accept you soon for sure! You’re so… good with people, anyways, I bet it won’t take nearly as long.”

Anne blinks, long and slow. “...you think I’m good with people?”

“Well duh!” Marcy laughs, and she nudges Anne’s side teasingly, though her cheeks flush up. “You’re so good with people, it’s insane! You make connections so quickly, and I just know the town’s gonna love you… in time, of course. You should’ve seen the first few weeks I was here!”

Anne laughs, and she’s blushing hard now too, finally not looking as worn and forlorn as she had, “I can only imagine. Okay, okay, alright. Will you show me around tomorrow?”

“Yes!” Marcy cheers, and she leaps to her feet, pumping her fist before offering Anne her hand. “Come on, Anne, we should head back now anyways. Long day ahead of us, yknow? Oh! I can introduce you to Wally! And Loggle! Oh this is going to be so much fun, you won’t have any regrets, promise!”

Anne laughs again, and she takes Marcy’s hand, allowing Marcy to pull her to her feet, “okay, Marbles,” she says, quietly, and her eyes sparkle in the vague light of the stars, “okay.”

[finniestoncrane]

"You don’t have to do this! But I really like your prompt list 🖤🖤 please and thank youuu" - anonymous request

Hate In An Elevator, Dano!Riddler x Hero!Reader, word count: 1521

ok i had so much fun writing this request and i put in as much as i could!! it's dano!riddler but i went a little off-canon in that he's more of a nuisance at this point and not quite the cuddly domestic terrorist we know and love yet, so it's just cute and silly and eddie being a pain in the ass 💚 reader is (hopefully) gender neutral but if i'm mistaken pls let me know!

request info • prompt list • send me a request

minors DNI!! 🔞 sfw i guess, some language

“So do you want to talk about it?”

You looked towards him, unmasked now and surprisingly innocent, almost cute looking. But it didn’t do much to your attitude towards him, and how much he irritated you.

“Not particularly. And not with you.”

“Well, I do. At this point I’m not even mad that you tracked me down, or that you chased me into this abandoned building, or for trapping me in an elevator shaft where you set about pummelling me into the ground.”

“Oh yeah, well what are you mad at? Because you definitely have an attitude.”

“I’m mad because you thought it was appropriate to smash my face against the floor so hard that you managed to shift a hundred-year-old, rusted beyond repair, elevator shaft into the most inconvenient position possible.”

“Is that all?”

“So far, yes. You’re lucky you’re pretty or I wouldn’t be so calm.”

You were taken back by his compliment, how genuine it seemed. But it couldn’t undo months of having religiously watched him spew hateful vitriol on his little streams with his pathetic following of hyped-up loners. He irritated you, lived in your mind, gnawing at it constantly, and you were sure he barely gave you a second thought. He probably hadn’t known you had existed until this evening, when he’d felt you following him. Face to face for the first time, holding him to the ground, which then sank from underneath your bodies, trapping you both in this musty and confined space.

Admittedly, it might have been a better idea to wait until you had backup, but you wanted to prove yourself to Gotham, prove you were deserving of working alongside Batman and the GCPD. You could do just as much good as them. So you’d gone in early, risking everything. And now you were stuck, stupidly, with for all intents and purposes, your worst enemy. From the pack on your back, you produced an energy bar and opened it up, taking a bite.

“I’m hungry.”

You turned to look at him, narrowing your eyes.

“What do you want me to do about that?”

“I’m just letting you know, jeez! I thought maybe…”

“We’ve been in here for five hours. You can’t be starving yet.”

You rolled your eyes, sighing, turning your head away from him to stare out of the tiny gap between the roof of the elevator and the floor.

“I didn’t have breakfast…” He pouted at you, noticing it from the corner of your eye. “You know, food is fuel right. When you don’t eat, your body runs out of its glucose supply pretty quickly. And with low blood sugar, you’re useless. Sluggish, tired, weak. Maybe if we perked up our energy supplies we could have another go at trying to open the doors a bit wider? I think it would be wise for us to at least try. No?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, were you talking to me?” You bit off another piece, chewing loudly as you spoke. “Because I wasn’t listening.”

He snatched at the remaining half of the bar, stuffing it into his mouth greedily and smiling at you, all teeth with bits of food stuck to them.

“Gross.”

He giggled, tossing the wrapper at you.

“Don’t you have some sort of backup?”

“No. No one knows I’m here. And my alert signal only goes off if I haven’t returned home by 5am. The GPS will send my location to someone then, but no one is tracking it.”

“That’s stupid. What kind of ridiculous system is that for a vigilante?”

“It’s the kind that was cheap and easy to programme.”

“So…no one is coming for us? Good.”

You looked at him, trying to figure out what was going on in his head. You could swear there was a hint of blush on his round cheeks. He offered a small smile, taking his glasses off and fumbling with them. Was it sarcasm? Or did he have something more sinister planned? Either way, it would be unwise of you to let your guard down around him, even for a second, even when there wasn’t much he could really do to make the situation worse.

“You know, I’m impressed you actually solved my puzzles and found me here.”

“I…didn’t solve any puzzles. I followed you. You left puzzles?”

He looked at you, wide-eyed.

“I-Yes! I left so many! Are you telling me those were all a waste of time?”

“Must have been, because I didn’t notice them.”

“Maybe if you spend more time observing your environment instead of stalking me you would have.”

“Maybe if your little puzzles weren’t so convoluted and difficult, I would have been able to recognise them easier.”

“Well maybe if you weren’t so dumb, my riddles would make more sense.”

“Ok, do you ever shut up?”

You hated to show it, but he was really getting to you.

“OH, you’re cute when you’re angry!”

You lunged at him, pinning his back to the wall, palms on his shoulders. Your noses were pressed together and your combined heavy breathing fogged up his glasses. He looked afraid, but not enough. There was something underneath, a faint hint of pleasure, confirmed by the way he giggled under your show of strength.

Trying to keep your cool, you shook him once and threw him back, letting him go with a thud. He slid down the wall slightly, smile still on his face, and you curled into your knees in the opposite corner, trying desperately to stay as far away from him as possible. He let out an occasional giggle, or amused hum, but for the next hour you both sat in otherwise complete silence. You refused to give him the time of day. He was an irritant. A pain. And you hated him. But more, you hated yourself for being so stupid and careless.

“It’s colder now, huh?”

“Yep.” You hated to agree with him, but the temperature had dropped considerably the later it had become and you had been fighting back shivers.

“You could come and sit…closer if you wanted. I don’t bite.”

“Thank you, but I’d rather die of hyperthermia!” You shot him a nasty smile, but he edged closer to you anyway, and you didn’t have the energy to put up a fight. The heat was minimal, but nice all the same. You rested your head on your shoulder and closed your eyes, trying to think of what to do.

“You dozed off.”

“Wh-what? Where…Aw…”

“Sorry, I hadn’t noticed. You looked so pleasant, but I thought I better wake you.”

As you adjusted to your situation, your body stuck on the word ‘pleasant’. It was kind of creepy actually. In fact, his whole demeanour the entire time had been a bit off. The giggling, the jokes, the weird compliments. There was definitely something up.

Not once had he tried to escape either. He didn’t even seem that bothered about getting out of the elevator shaft. And it was so easy to follow him here, he must have heard you coming up behind him, either on the streets or through the empty halls of the building. And if the elevator shaft was so obviously broken, why had he been heading towards it in the first place?

“This was a trap.”

“Hm?”

“This. The elevator. It was a trap. For me.”

“Yay!” He giggled, face cracking into a wide smile. “You finally got it! See, I knew you were smart.”

“Oh no. Oh no no no no no no-”

“Yes! Do you think I didn’t notice you on my streams? Following me around? Coming to my place of work, well done on that one by the way, very clever!”

“So…why the trap then, Riddler? Not brave enough to kill a vigilante?”

“Not yet. And not one as pretty as you, at least.”

Your eyes were wide, unblinking as he explained how long he’d been aware of your presence, lurking, or so you thought, at the shadows of his life. How he’d been so pleased to finally have someone on his tail, like a little fan club. And the compliments kept spewing forth. You looked so cute. You were so pretty when you were trying to solve a riddle. Your motivation was unparalleled. You really knew how to dress for your shape with that little costume you picked. You made him feel like he wasn’t alone. He was a complete weirdo. But, embarrassingly, even if they were on opposite ends of the scale, your obsessions over each other were equally intense.

“Besides, we kind of need each other, right?”

You scoffed, eyebrows raised high as you questioned him, silently.

“We do! What is a vigilante without a criminal, and what is a criminal without someone to hunt them?”

You considered his words. He was right.

“I suppose, yes, I wouldn’t have much of a reason to do what I do without pain in the ass psychopaths like yourself.” You smirked at him.

“See, and you thought I was just an annoyance.”

“Oh, you still are buddy.”

“You heard it here first, folks! We’re buddies!”

“I hate you.”

“Well, I love you.”

[iwadori]

Hiiii!!!! can you do like when you guys are supposed to meet up and they waited for about an hour or so and kept texting you you but you haven't replied so they thought you ditched them and got mad at you and stuff then they decided to go home and while on their way home not too far from their school they found you unconscious body with a large wound on you back and your head bleeding?.

can you pleaseease do tsukishima, yamaguchi, ushijima, bokuto (I'm sorry if that's a lot)

Haikyu Boys when you get hurt Pt 2 (Ushijima,Bokuto

Part One Part Two Part Three

Word count: 2.6K

Genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

Ushijima

You were having the worst week this week,  from battling a cold and your boss making you do all sorts of extra jobs (that were definitely not under your job description.) As easter was swiftly approaching you and Ushijima had your annual plans of going to the local kids community center and helping them with an easter egg hunt. But you don’t think you can manage it this year.

Ushijima gets home from practice with 4 bags just filled with easter eggs ranging from all different sizes, “woah there Toshi, you’ve got enough there too feed all of england” you laugh  

“I don’t think these eggs will be able to sustain England Y/N” he says seriously making you laugh even harder. As you were laughing, you felt another migraine come along making your cringe in pain. “Toshi, I don’t think I can do the easter egg hunt this year?”  

He sits down next to you alarmed that something is wrong, “why what happened Y/N” he asks

“I’ve been feeling terrible all week, and I even have a migraine right now” you say to him thinking he would understand.

“That’s it?” he questions thinking what you said was a joke “I think you can handle a migraine, remember we’re doing this for the kids”

His words were making you feel slightly guilty since maybe you were being over dramatic. “Y/N if it’s really ‘that bad’, i’ll make you some tea so you can feel better,” he says going into the kitchen to start on your tea. You murmur a quiet “thank you” and you end up falling asleep, hoping that by the time you wake up your head stops pounding.

As you wake up, you realise you slept all the way through the night and over to the next day as when you look at your clock it says 12:32 pm. You look at your nightstand and saw that Ushijima wrote you a note saying:  

Y/N I've left out early to set out the easter egg hunt, I’ve made you breakfast so eat up and get prepared for the event which starts at 4pm. Please don’t forget.

Sincerely – Ushijima Wakatoshi.

You chuckle at the fondness of the note, before realising your pain. Your brain felt like it was having a live concert inside that definitely was not going to end soon but you still got up prepared for the day. You didn’t want to let Ushijima or the kids down.  

When you go to the kitchen , you see the cute breakfast that Ushijima made you consisting of all of your favourite foods and with another simple note of him saying ‘ I love you. ‘ Ushijima has always been a lovely boyfriend, treating you like the queen you are always making sure that you were okay. Of course, his bluntness and his lack of social cues was something to get used to but when you did get accustomed to it, it only made you fall in love with him more.

You got ready, feeling even more sick as the piping hot shower that you usual have, did not help as when you were showering you felt heavily faint. However, you persevered since you did not want to let Ushijima down.

You finally were prepared to leave the house, with the community center being on 15 minutes walk away you were leaving out at 3:50pm since you were planning to take your car anyways. When you leave your home, you realise that you forgot your car keys so you dash up the stairs (a bit too quickly) to go and find them. Scrambling through your draws, your head is pounding harder and harder and the more it pounds the quicker your moving making you even more faint. You eventually find your keys and you’re ready to zoom to the community center but your body gave out and you pass out tumbling down the stairs landing at your front door.

Ushijima was waiting outside of the community center waiting for you to arrive it was 4:05pm and he was wondering where you were (knowing that your place was only a 10 minute drive away) he sent you a few texts asking where you were but when you don’t respond Ushijima becomes slightly annoyed, plastering a fake smile on his face and entering the community center, starting the easter egg hunt.

The easter egg hunt came to a close at 8pm and Ushijima assumed that you would’ve showed up some time in the middle of the event, but you obviously didn’t show. After making sure that all the kids left safely Ushijima decided to call and text you more and when you continuously don’t respond and your calls go to voicemail he says ‘Y/N, im really disappointed with you right now. How could you do this to me? You said you would show up, the kids were really upset, how could you be so selfish?’

He walks to your house knocking on the door, but when you don’t immediately answer he knew something must be up now, since you haven’t responded to any of his texts and calls and didn’t show up he figured there was something deeper then you just ditching the event.

He used his key to open the door, surprised when the door hit something. He tried again hitting the ‘object’ that was laying at the door again. He carefully pushes the door to make enough room for him to fit through the gap. When he entered, he was startled at the sight of you, there you lay completely knocked out with a blood stain next to your head. He knelt down next to you and touched your cheek you were extremely cold, he had to get you to a hospital stat. He called an ambulance, panicked. Worrying about how long you’ve been out for since it would have to be atleast more than 4 hours he assumed.

You woke up in a foreign room, with your head slightly stinging. You place your hand on the back of your head and wince, then you remember you need to be at the easter egg hunt so you bolt up ready to move.  

“I don’t think that’s wise for you to do that Y/N” Ushijima says to you  

“Toshi, what happened?” you ask still in pain

“It seems you fell down the stairs and hit your head” after he said that all your memories come flooding back, and you remember rushing to the community centre, looking for your keys, and then falling down the stairs and everything going black.

“I’m sorry Ushi for missing the easter egg hunt, I really tried to get there,” you say with an apologetic look on your face  

“It’s fine Y/N of course you wouldn’t of been able to get there after falling down the stairs” he says “Also, this is proof of why you shouldn’t run down the stairs”

You eventually get discharged with the doctor telling you all you need to do is rest and stay off your feet. Ushijima took the doctor's orders very seriously, becoming your loyal servant and waiting on you hand and foot, tending to your every need. He did also make you were eating healthy and taking all your medicine so you could have the best recovery possible.  

Also, after realising that this could’ve all been avoided if Ushijima didn’t guilt trip you in the first place for having a migraine, he made sure to never ignore or dismiss when you say you are ill or have anything wrong with you even if it’s a migraine, a lost limb or a simple paper cut.

Bokuto  

The Olympics were coming up and Bokuto couldn’t be any more excited than he already was. Everything he’s talked about for the past month he manages to find a way to relate to the Olympics, and as annoying as it got sometimes you were just as excited for it as much as Bokuto was.  

Bokuto was heavily busy with extra practices so you were bored and lonely, since your boyfriend was at practice all the time so you chose to take up a new hobby. You decided to paint, although you weren’t an award-winning painter you still found joy in it. Being Bokuto’s girlfriend you had some slight unwanted attention on you: the usual fans of Bokuto that just followed you to have an extra aspect of him in their life's, or his fangirls that adored him.  

You didn’t mind the fangirls for the most part since majority of them were pretty tamed and did fawn over your relationship. However, there was the minority of fans that did make it known to you that they DID NOT like you at all. When you started posting your paintings, it seems their hate for you amplified since they always found the need to leave an astray of mean comments on your post. But that didn’t mainly bother you since you thought that they only had that energy behind the screen.

The days went by getting closer to the Olympics, with Bokuto always asking you every day “Y/N you are coming to my games, right?” to which you always replied “Of course Kou, I’m coming” which always made him smile.

When the Olympics came, you’ve went to all the games cheering Bokuto and the team on as they were winning round after round. Whilst this was going on, the group of girls that were sending you horrible messages and making mean posts about you weren’t stopping. At first, you didn’t care for them but it seems their posts only gotten worse making comments about your artwork, your face, your body type ect.  

You didn’t want to tell Bokuto as you felt that it would ruin his Olympic momentum and you thought you could handle it all on your own.  

It was nearing to the final game of the Olympics, and Bokuto was ecstatic he made sure that you promised you’d be there claiming that you was his ‘good luck’ charm.’ You were excited to go too, the feeling of watching Bokuto play was exhilarating seeing him fully in his element was great for you to see.

On the last game day, Boktuo was already at the stadium since him and the team had to be there earlier to practice and you planned to meet him there just before the game started at 4:30. You went to a florist before the match getting Bokuto the biggest boquet that you could buy.  

On your way to the stadium you here somebody whistle from behind you, you turn around and see a group of girls waiting behind you smirking. “Hi?” you say more like a question then a statement “do you want something from me?”

Some of them laugh, but the one standing at the front who you mentally lable the ‘main one’ steps closer to you and says “We want you to stay away from Bokuto” you realise that these were the girls sending you hate online for these past weeks.

Before you can even blink, the girls jump you, hitting, kicking and clawing at you. You are in pain, screaming and crying for them to stop and leave you alone. You lay there, letting them beat you up thinking that you’ll probably end up dead out of this. All you can think about is Bokuto, you didn’t get to wish him good luck, or give him your flowers (that you spent a fortune on) or even tell him that you loved him one last time.

You think the girls eventually stopped but you couldn’t tell because your body was throbbing and you hurt all over. You tried to get up still wanting to go to the match but you collapse going out cold.

Bokuto was scanning the crowd over and over for you, hoping to spot you there. But he couldn’t, he was wondering where you were getting sadder and sadder by the second since he really believed you were his good luck charm and he probably wouldn’t be able to win without at least seeing your face once.

They didn’t win. Bokuto knew he wasn’t playing at his best, since all his mind was on was thinking about where you were. You’ve never missed one of his games, so he was incredibly worried. After he accepted his second-place medal, he rushed out the stadium to go to your house but he was stopped by some fangirls ‘I guess signing autographs is the least I can do’ he thinks, the fans were being a bit odd today but he didn’t have time to focus on that as his mind was racing thinking about you and your whereabouts.  

One of his fans did give him an alarmingly big boquet of roses which he appreciated ‘these must of cost a fortune’ he thinks. Although it was a probably a long shot, he decided to ask the fan if he saw someone who looked like *whatever you look like* to maybe see if someone else saw you. Which the fan replied “yeah I saw them with some guy at this restaurant whilst we were going to see you!” they exclaimed.

‘A guy’ he thought ‘that most likely wasn’t you.’ Seeing Bokuto’s confusion, the fan followed up with “I'm pretty sure it was her I mean we all know who Bokuto Koutaro’s girlfriend was.” Bokuto didn’t reply just walking away making sure to thank them for the flowers.  

He was rushing towards your house on foot (since all the taxi’s and ubers were fully booked because of the Olympics) whilst running he stumbles across your passed out body all black and bruised with scratch marks and bleeding all over you. “what happened” he whispered, knowing you obviously weren’t going to respond.  

He picked up your near-dead body, and cradled you in his arms taking you back to the stadium (since he knew that getting an ambulance to come here or running to the hospital would basically be impossible.) When he got back to the stadium, he did get odd looks from strangers but he didn’t care, his only agenda was making sure you were okay.

You woke up, and saw Bokuto pacing the room repeatedly you tried to get his attention by saying his name but your throat was damaged. He eventually notices you and runs to your side, stroking your face softly and giving you a gentle hug making sure not to hurt you.  

“Who did this Y/N?” he asks with worry in his eyes  

You ignore his question and look at the silver medal wrapped around his neck making you sad “I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the match, I tried I really did try” you said with your voice sounding even worse after you said every word.  

“Don’t be silly, I’m just glad that you’re okay babe, I was really worried about you.” he said

The Medic came in and said that you had multiple broken ribs, but beside that you were fine you just needed to rest your throat and let your bruises heal. You eventually told Bokuto that it was some of his fans, he was upset that you hid this from him for so long but he was just glad that he got to you as soon as he did. He managed to play at the next Olympics and you were there fully present, with your even bigger boquet of flowers watching win gold.

Authors Note: I tried to make it as close to your request as possible, but I hope you enjoy as I really do think this is my favourite work so far.... :3 Comments and feedback appreciated.

[hyunjilicious]

I just read what is and what should never be and it was PHENOMENAL! I love everything you write anyway so I was wondering if you could do a small one where Bucky is alone and depressed and he calls yn because he feels lost and she is just there for him? No worries if you can't! I love you anyway 💕

Omg!! You’re too sweet! I really wanted to do this one justice, but I suck at angst... I love you too!! and I’m sorry if this sucks!

Summary: after the events of Endgame, you and Bucky part ways. Even though you haven’t spoken in months, when he needs you, you’re there ANGST 2.2k

Warnings: overall angsty vibes. Sad Bucky. Idk depictions of depression I guess? shitty writing!

“You came” Bucky's surprised tone pulled you out of your thoughts.

Before saying anything else, you shook your head in disbelief. From certain points of view, he looked exactly the same as when you last saw him months ago, but if you looked past his rugged exterior, it was very easy to tell something was truly eating away at his heart.

“Of course I came” you frowned, “You called me”

“Thought you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore” Bucky mumbled.

You looked him up and down, thoroughly confused by his statement, but decided to keep the tone of the conversation from going too dark too fast. “Shut up, Barnes” you scoffed, “Don’t even joke about that.” A hint of a smile appeared at the corner of his lips, but it was forced, you could easily tell he wasn’t truly being himself. “What’s up?”

Bucky took a deep breath as if gathering the courage to word his thoughts. When his eyes met yours he flinched, the pain clouding his otherwise bright blue eyes. He started with a long sigh and a shake of his head but then, cringed as he finally spoke up. “I need help”

His confession went directly to the pit of your stomach. “What happened? Whatever it is, you got it, but what-”

“Nothing happened” Bucky stopped you, “I need help”

“I don’t understand”

“I need someone to-” he sighed, closing his eyes as his head fell forward in what could only be described as shame, “I need someone to talk to” and it was funny, considering he just walked out of his psychiatrist’s office. “Someone that’s not paid to listen to me” he added, “Someone who understands”

It was moments like these that you truly wished Steve was still here. Or Nat. Your best friends, yes, but they were the glue that held you all together, and now in their absence, you were all threatening to fall apart. 

But of course you’d be there for Bucky. Whatever he needed you were more than eager to provide, but at the same time, you were fully aware that your capabilities were limited. You didn’t lack the understanding or the experience, but you lacked the words. You had the sympathy, but not the advice he needed. But you were there. Like you have always been and always will be, so, that afternoon you ended up on his living room floor.

Surrounded by empty bottles of alcohol that had no effect on either of you whatsoever, you sat and listened to him rant his heart out until his throat couldn’t take it anymore. And then he broke down - completely. A full on mess, tears staining his cheeks as the temperature dropped in the room with every other pained groan he’d release. But he let it all out and the weight he had been carrying on his shoulder was unimaginable. There were too many things eating away at his heart, but the guilt was what kept him under its spell, what kept him up for the last months, what was physically destroying him.

“Y/n... “ he called for you, face hidden in his hands as he spoke, “I know you’re gonna say no, but-”

“No,” you stopped him, “Then don’t ask me”

“Please”

“No, Bucky” you sighed, grabbing his wrist so you could look him in the eyes, “If you already know it’s a bad idea, please don’t tell me because I’m afraid I’ll actually go through with it right now”

“But i can’t fucking sleep!” he cried out loud, falling back against the couch, arms propped up on his knees, “I keep having the same nightmares over and over again, and I can’t take it anymore”

“You don’t-” you took a deep breath, “You don’t want me to erase your mind, do you?”

The look in his eyes proved that that was exactly what he wanted. And the unshed tears that coated the otherwise pure and radiant blue of his eyes was almost enough to convince you.

“Please-” he begged, “I-”

“No, Buck” you shook your head and shuffled to face him properly, “As time passes, it’s only gonna get worse. The past will eventually catch up to you. You’ll want to know what you did”

He didn’t have it in him to fight you, so silence settled for a while. “You know sedatives don’t work on me?”

“I… never thought about it, but that makes sense”

Bucky gathered his lips into a tight line and nodded his head.

“Lady shrink isn’t of any help?” you asked.

“I have no clue what she’s doing” he shrugged, “Maybe it’s good in the long run, but fuck if I know how she expects me to make any kind of progress right now”

“You are, tho” you reassured him, “Making progress I mean”

“Am I?” Bucky laughed incredulously.

“Yes! You’re almost completely on your own feet. You really pushed through”

“Or maybe I’m just ignoring all of my problems”

“You just told me about them” you chuckled, and threw an arm over his shoulders.

Hesitatingly at first, he eventually leaned in into your hold, allowing himself to completely fall against your chest. “I hate this”

“I think that’s a given” you laughed, curling your fingers around the roots of his way too short hair. “A wise man once said that whenever someone acts like they have their shit together, they’re either lying or delusional”

“Who said that?”

“I don’t know” you confessed, “I saw that on the internet”

For the first time that night, you actually heard him laugh, and it sounded so good - it was short and weak, but it was sweet and honest. “That’s a pathetic attempt at cheering me up, but I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it” Bucky said as he pushed himself up.

“I wish I could do more” you mumbled, “But I don’t know what, or how, but-”

“Thank you”

“You don’t have to thank me, you know that” you smiled.

He didn’t know that. He’d never stop thanking you for even the smallest gestures. The day where Bucky would understand that kindness, in some cases, is a given, was far away, but you had the patience and determination to work for it.

As you talked and talked, and the topic of conversation kept shifting from one area to the other, the sun set, night settling outside his small windows. It was time for you to leave, and you would’ve done it, had he asked you not to at the last second.

You had your shoes on and one hand on the door handle, when he stumbled over his words, obviously too shy to properly hold his ground. “Actually can you- can you-” he mumbled, pointing to his couch, “Can you stay here tonight?”

And of course you did. The night didn’t last much longer after that, with Bucky settling on the floor, only a blanket to keep him company, and you sprawled out on the couch as silence settled.

But your mind was too busy to drift off. You knew his’ was too, but decided to refrain from speaking up, hoping to let him fall asleep, even for a short while.

It was loud inside your head. You always promised yourself you’d never intrude on someone’s thoughts and read through them without their approval, but you physically felt Bucky radiate energy, and your mind just slipped. But then, your heart almost stopped.

You saw yourself. You saw yourself slapping him back in Wakanda when he decided to go under ice again, you saw yourself moving a car out of his way back in Bucharest, when you risked your life for his because you trusted Steve that much, and because you were that good of a friend. You saw yourself at Tony’s funeral, eyes shiny with tears and then felt an almost uncontrollable urge to hug yourself - and then realised it wasn’t your urge, it was Bucky’s. At this point, your heart beat so fast you were actually afraid he’d hear it. But when goosebumps appeared all over your skin, you realised he couldn’t hear you, that he was asleep and that the nightmares started materializing. 

What convinced you to act on it was the sudden jerk of his body and the way to fully tensed instantly after. So, unable to just sit and watch, you rolled over to the side and allowed your hand to fall by his temple, little specks of light rolling off the tips of your fingers as you forced the thoughts away. Seconds later, you saw him relax and shift around, gathering the blanket he laid on to his chest as he drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

His relaxed form and the steady pace of his breathing put a smile on your face. But you made the mistake of thinking this was a one time thing, however, before you realised, you found yourself leaning over him again, ushering yet another wave of nightmares away. And it kept being an ongoing process until the sun rose, and you cursed yourself as you did not get one second of shut eye. But it was worth it. The sight of him finally resting, knowing he spent his night in his happy place that you this time did not intrude on, made up for your tiredness. 

When Bucky drifted out of his deep sleep, you figured it was safe to relax too. But knowing that if you went to sleep right now you wouldn’t wake up until noon, you stood up, determined to give him the full best friend experience.

But all you found in his kitchen was a box of stale cereal, a soft cucumber and candy wrappers. Had he not looked so adorable sleeping shirtless and curled into a ball on the floor, you would have woken him up yelling. But instead, you decided to order some food, and the simple fact that the sound of the delivery guy ringing the doorbell didn’t wake him up, actually terrified you. With a life like yours, no one sleeps that deeply, but then there he was, snoring away the late hours of the morning. 

By the time he finally stirred awake, the food was already cold, and you were bored out of your mind. “What- what time is it?” he mumbled, voice rich with sleep.

“A little bit past 2” you yawned from your spot on the couch.

“2 pm?” Bucky huffed, sitting up in a hurry and rushing to grab his phone. “What the-” he turned to you confused, “It’s 2pm…”

“Yeah” you sighed, “And the food is cold”

“Food?” Bucky gawked, looking over at the small table by the window, “You got food?”

“You didn’t have any” you defended yourself. You wanted to scold him for not taking better care of himself, but he looked so homey and cozy and vulnerable, that you couldn’t bring yourself to.

Eventually, you stood up and walked over to him. “I’ll let you eat, Buck, but I gotta go” you sighed, giving him a hug, “Got some stuff to do” you lied, by stuff meaning sleep, since you were exhausted.

“Yeah, of course” he mumbled in agreement, wrapping his arms around your frame, and bringing you closer. He sank his head into the crook of your neck, holding you to his chest for a moment longer than you would have considered friendly. But you didn’t complain, his hold was stern and loving, and you really needed that right now. “Thank you” Bucky added when he finally let you go. His right palm cupped your cheek as he looked down at you, awe and admiration in his eyes.

“Nothing to thank me for, Buck” you smiled, and then pulled away.

He silently watched you get ready to leave, following you around until you reached the door and turned around to say goodbye. And it was weird. Your heart boomed against your ribcage, and you didn’t have to read his thoughts to know he was feeling the same kind of nervous. And it may have been the one too many stories you read but you actually feared something was going to happen. Thankfully, it didn’t. Instead you shared another hug, and parted ways.

However, all you managed to do was reach the staircase before you heard his door open, followed by the sound of his bare feet sprinting down the hallway. “What are you-”

“Can you stay?” he asked, shaking from head to toe, “In New York I mean, can you please stay? Just a few more days”

“Well, I- yeah, I guess I can” you mumbled.

“I just, I need a few more days. You’re screwing my head back on, I just need you now. Steve is gone, and Sam is all the way in Louisiana and I hate phones and I-”

“Wow-” you laughed, “I’m not even the second choice, I’m the third?”

“Shut up, Y/n” Bucky frowned, “Stop being a smartass for a second”

“I’m sorry” you rolled your eyes, but he didn’t care.

In the blink of an eye, Bucky threw his arms around your shoulders and hugged you close, and you weren’t sure if the ‘I love you’ that echoed inside your mind had actually been spoken or just thought, but it was everything you never knew you needed.