#I have fomo on all the GOT lore I’m missing out on

[star-spangled-man]

might fuck around and start obsessing over a new piece of media again to fill the void

[a1nsl3yyy]

sorry for this long rant but i need to know if anyone else feels the same way.

(i wrote this when i was in class lmaoo)

bro, tell me why i’m actually about to cry. i saw hayden announced new merch dropping next week, and i got so hyped. i was reading through the comments, and apparently, she’s bringing back some of her older designs too. that’s when i started really thinking about her music—the vibe, the layers of instruments, the lyrics, the meanings, everything. i got so emotional i literally started tearing up.

maybe it’s because i have the absolute worst fomo. i found ethel in august, around the end of the preacher’s daughter era. when i first discovered her and got into her music, i felt this instant spark, this deep connection to her art, like she was saying things i’d been waiting to hear. and what i think is getting me down is that i missed out on seeing her grow and release the albums that shaped her into the artist she is now. i’m insanely proud of her and just want to celebrate every part of her journey. she pours her heart into her work and deserves all the spotlight she gets, if not more.

i mean, i’m only 14—i was 12 for most of 2022. i just hate joining in the middle of something, feeling like i missed out on so much. i’d see old tumblr and instagram posts from people who were there for PD before it even dropped, celebrating streaming milestones, and i’d scroll through reddit threads filled with lore and theories.

i don’t normally feel this way about artists. i actually haven’t ever felt this way before. she’s the first artist i genuinely wish i’d been there for from the start. the fact that i wasn’t makes me feel a little upset, almost unworthy of listening now, like i missed being part of something truly special.

anyways… hayden’s work is so rich and beautifully crafted, not just with PD but across all her albums, EPs, and singles. every piece is incredibly thought out. she has such an extraordinary mind and such a beautiful way with words, and there isn’t a single song by her that i don’t love with everything in me. i absolutely cannot wait to see what she does with perverts.

[daidai-kawaii]

With the recent event reruns for Arknights and Fate/Grand Order, I’ve been thinking about how they compare and what I like about each! As of writing this the event for Arknights, Mansfield Break, has just finished it’s rerun and there’s one more day for the FGO Las Vegas event. I somehow managed to get the free character from both and my experience with each was vastly different due to just how each game handles events.

Firstly, they’re both gachas so with the reruns of the events came the reruns of their respective rate-up banners, i.e. the Solo Mountain Banner for AK and the Summer Servants Banner for FGO. I play both on the Global/NA/EN/whatever you wanna call it server so I have the benefit of foresight on whether or not I should save up for certain upcoming events. The main difference there being global on AK is behind by about 6 months and NA for FGO is behind by about 2 years. Personally I feel like 6 months is the perfect amount of delay to plan out my gacha currency usage and 2 years is just way way too far ahead for my liking.

As far as events go Arknights has Side Stories, Intermezzi, and Vignettes. Side Stories are exactly what it says on the tin and Intermezzi are just more relevant to the main story, going into the backstory of characters and groups like the Abyssal Hunters. Vignettes are like a collection of stages and you can use the event currency you get from them to buy mini stories to read. All of these come with a free operator (most of the time) that can also be earned by completing certain stages, typically about halfway through the story, and upgrading by spending event currency. None of these need any sort of story progress like being caught up to Chapter 9 or something like that. If you miss an event in AK it feels very forgiving because the stages are added to the Side Story and Intermezzi sections and are playable at any time and still give rewards like Originite Prime. FGO is only recently getting this from what i understand with the Main Interludes, but those need Rare Prisms which can be spent on other things like Mystic Codes whereas Arknights has a separate resource used only to unlock previously unplayed Side Stories that you get for free once a week. There’s also the relatively new Record Restoration in AK which allows people who missed events or just didn’t get all the copies of an Operator from the store to obtain/max out that respective Operator and other goodies. This combined with playing on Global and being able to guess what is getting its respective Restoration when is so nice and just doesn’t have this extreme FOMO feeling of “I NEED to get this Operator NOW and ALL of their copies” because I can just finish the stages later and the only thing I miss out on are some Medals.

Speaking of which the medals are a nice way to show of things that you’ve done in AK and add a nice touch of personality to each profile. I’m not too aware of things that FGO gives for challenge quests besides things like summon tickets, Crystallized Lore, and other upgrade materials, but I like being able to show off my accomplishments in-game. I also feel that FGO has waaaayyy more to farm with regards to materials than Arknights. Arknights has a few EXP cards and LMD, similar to Leveling Cards and QP in FGO, but in regards to the actual materials you can buy it feels that FGO has a lot more that are easier to get without worrying about having enough for other things in the shop. Neither has every material available in the shop, but it helps being able to just farm for the Free Servant in FGO and use the currency that i got from doing that to buy materials to upgrade their skills and the skills of my other Servants.

Both have their merits that FGO is a lot more drawn out, at some points too much so and Arknights is very relaxed but it’s very easy to do the whole thing in one day and burn out. However Arknights stage design is very replayable and event stages even lean towards using Operators that are either on rate up for that event or the free Operator that you get from playing.

[zechleton]

Ranting and Raving About Magic in 2022

I haven’t written about Magic in ages, so what better way could there be to get back into the habit that a stream of consciousness spiel about the 2022 announcement?

Strap in, folks, because this is going to be long and poorly edited.

Actually, it’s not that long, about 1500 words. It might feel longer, though.

Neo-Tokyo or something idk

As one of the five people on r/magictcg that didn’t want to return to Kamigawa in standard set, I have to admit this one looks surprisingly awesome. The couple of pieces of art Wizard shared looked fantastic, as usual, and I’m a sucker for that blue/pink colour scheme. I’m not a huge fan of time travel as a story telling device but since the Magic story has always served the card game, using tropes I don’t enjoy is far from a deal-breaker. Yeah – I’m cautiously optimistic about this one.

Someone Made Elspeth an Offer she Couldn’t Refuse

Obviously, we know much less about this set. Still, it sounds right up my alley. I’m curious how Wizards is going to make Magic meets The Godfather work, but the good kind of curious. On top of that, I’d really like to have some more shard-based commanders on Arena for Brawl, and I assume we’re the “three-colour demon crime families” isn’t referring to clans (triome?) again after leaving Ikoria behind. Also, come on, how can you not love the sound of demon crime families?

Glory, Glory, Dom United!

There is a part of me that gets nervous about nebulous concepts like design space whenever we go back to an old plane again. All these crossovers (more on those later) take on a different appearance when viewed through an “are they running out of ideas” lens. Still, Dominaria was fantastic, by far the best “return to” set – though I’m hoping Innistrad claims that throne in a few weeks. With that in mind, I’m expecting Wizards to knock it out of the park with DU, just like they did with Dominaria.

The Nostalgia Wars

I might scoff somewhat at Magic’s storyline sometimes, but I’ve read the stuff that people think is good. I own both collections of the Artifacts Cycle. They all pale in comparison to good fantasy, but they’re not bad, and they hold a special place in my heart from when I was more invested in stuff like lore and story. The point of that ramble? 2022, more than ever, is Wizards’ mining the seemingly neverending mineral that is nerd nostalgia. It further adds to my “are they running out of ideas” worry, but I can’t say the nostalgia hit/psychological manipulation isn’t working on me. Hell, Return to Return to Innistrad has me more excited than any set for a couple of years now so I guess I’m part of the problem.

Uncaring

The phrase “not for you” is thrown around distrubingly often in Magic circles nowadays. Unfinity, however, is decidedly not for me. And that’s fine.

Dungeons And Dragons Battle for Baldur’s Gate Commander Legends I Think That’s The Whole Title But Maybe I Missed a bit I’m not Sure

Yikes, what a mouthful. I hate the title, both its length and unwieldiness. I don’t really have much interest in the set either. Commander Legends was a neat idea with a lot of flaws. Adding crossover flavour from another IP I have little-to-no interest in isn’t helping matters, though I appreciate that Adventures in the Forgotten Realms was super popular. For me, AFR was pretty much just a core set without any of the usual references to sets I do know and care about. Another “not for me” release.

Double Trouble

Hmm. I’m torn here. As a primarily limited-focused player, Masters sets have been some of my favourites ever. Original Modern Masters is still one of my in my top five sets of all time, and I have fond memories of almost all of the others, too.

Original Double Masters, though, was a victim of apathy brought on by the never-ending deluge of Magic product being released nowadays. I have never even seen a booster of this product, much less opened one. Without looking it up, I can’t even tell you if it was hurt by the pandemic or not, because there’s just way too much fucking stuff nowadays. I don’t know what else to say.

Oh, hang on. Was this the set with a $100 VIP Booster? Hahaha, fuck off.

Jump Around

The original Jumpstart was surprisingly enjoyable on Arena. I never wanted to play it more than a few times, and sometimes you got packs that relied entirely on your opponent getting mana screwed, but those few times I played it were pretty fun. I think putting stuff like obvious eternal format staples like Alosaurus Shepherd in a set like this is some extremely anti-consumer bullshit, but as a play experience it was an interesting mesh of draft and sealed. Not as much fun as either of those, but close enough that the novelty carried it into the “pretty fun, actually” camp. I expect more of the same – I’ll probably do a few runs if I have gems or gold spare.

Universes Beyond: Warhammer 40K Commander et al

Really, this is the bit about all the crossover stuff.

Another vomit inducing title and one that has left me with some introspection to do. Like many people, I find a lot of this crossover stuff distasteful, but I can’t really say why. The fact that the Street Fighter one – an IP I have some amount of investment in – seems less egregious than Warhammer of D&D makes me think that I don’t necessarily object to crossovers on principal. Does my dislike come from the fact that, so far, all of the other crossovers don’t involve properties I care about? Maybe. Even the mechanically unique line of text that pissed off so many people when the Walking Dead set came out doesn’t bother me that much, because Commander is a format I can take or leave.

The Fortnite one rubs me a different wrong way, though. Partly, it’s the sheer fucking inevitability of it all. Of course a popular part of the nerd sphere will have a crossover with Fortnite because that’s just the world in which we live. Partly it makes me feel old, uncool, and excluded, like all the other crossovers I don’t care about, sure. But there’s something more visceral about Fortnite. It’s fucking everywhere and I resent feeling like I have to have an opinion about it. Still, I don’t really have strong opinions about most of the other crossovers, so why this one? I really don’t know. Maybe this is one “this isn’t for you” too many from a game that has been part of my life for over 20 years.

I haven’t bought a single Secret Lair, but I’m generally willing to accept that they’re a bonus product that isn’t needed by anyone but is wanted by some. Hell, if they put out Secret Lair: Snapcaster Mage with good art (at last), I could probably te tempted into picking one up. It would be against my better judgement, though. Something about all these “not necessary but also don’t miss out, aren’t they cool, spend more money please” products rubs me the wrong way. Playing Magic and hating capitalism are difficult interests to reconcile. That’s it. That’s the tagline for this article.

Oh, right, it’s just a blog. Never mind.

Oh, God. The Fornite Secret Lair is going to be the Snapcaster Mage one, isn’t it?

Then there’s Lord of The Rings. My pal Kristen will be thrilled about this, was my first thought. I’m less enthusiastic (shocker, right?), but at least LOTR makes sense as a thing to crossover with. I mean, apart from the obvious business sense. It doesn’t have any guns and it isn’t an obnoxiously ubiquitous battle royale FPS, so that already puts it ahead of two of the other three crossovers. Indeed, without LOTR, you can make a reasonable case that MTG would never exist in the first place. Personally, I view LOTR in the same way I view The Beatles – they were important, and worthy of respect, but have been surpassed in every way since.

And the movies are better than the books. There I said it.

Regardless, this one is fine, actually. I still don’t particularly care for crossovers in general, especially as the setting for a standard set, but at least it makes sense this time.

Shut up Already

Alright, I hear you. I know a lot of that was negative towards the end, but I want to reiterate that a lot of the stuff happening in standard sets next year is really exciting, if a little unoriginal. The crossover/sellout stuff and the interminable deluge of FOMO-driven products is worrying and disappointing, but I guess we just have to try and ignore the ever-increasing number of “not for you” products and focus on the stuff we do like. Seriously, Neon Destiny looks amazing, and I don’t even like anime.

[jenthebug]

Drinking and tumblring

I’m watching speedruns, too. :D Some dude’s fuckin destroying Sonic 3 & Knuckles.

I’ve decided to start speedrunning Smartball, a weird little SNES game that very few people know about. It doesn’t even have an entry on TVTropes. You play as a ball. He’s actually a boy who got turned into a ball by an evil wizard, who’s in cahoots with the ball’s brother, because he wants to marry the ball’s girlfriend. There’s all kinds of lore in the Japanese version that’s not in the American version. Whatever, it’s platforming, and it’s kinda hard.

Every once in a while, it’s good to learn a kinda hard new skill from scratch. It’s a brain workout.

Aurora, Colorado is my hometown. I am deeply ashamed of the Aurora Police Department, both the officers who murdered Elijah McClain, and the higher-ups who let it happen. I have been donating (what I can, which is only a little), making noise (a lot), and cheering on everyone fighting for justice for Elijah. As someone who spent the entirety of her formative years in Aurora, I can say from the bottom of my heart, fuck the Aurora Police Department. My hometown is full of fuck, you guys. First we had the Chuck E Cheese murders in 1991 (former employee shot 4 people after the place closed). Then the theater shooting. Then the cops murdered a guy. I would love to just distance myself, but I’m from there.

Just like in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, in times of great stress, I send out a psychic signal to where I was born. It’s part of me. And if that stress involves a child, I send out a psychic signal to wherever my child is. He’s part of me, too.

In lighter news, I just told Momo, “Did you know that dogs aren’t allowed to drink vodka? It’s in the Constitution.” I hope she believes me.

I’m having all the Covid FOMO right now. I miss PLACES. I miss doing THINGS. Like, I used to be able to go to the bar and drink there. With my friends. I could even give them hugs!! If I could*, I would go to a coffee shop tomorrow and work like an Official Remote Employee, sipping coffee and enjoying the air conditioning.

*I mean, I totally could. Places are open, and I have a car. But I’m not allowing myself to, because my immune system is shit and I know this. Other people are going to restaurants and shopping at malls, and I’m just grounded. Takeout and chill, Couch is Life, etc.

Next time I can go to a place, I’m (hopefully! if it’s open!) going to Akihabara, the Japanese arcade bar. I’m gonna drink fruity ridiculous drinks and play Taiko no Tatsujin until my fucking arms fall off.

Speaking of places and crowds and stuff, I (still!) miss working at the amusement park. I wish I could take a vacation to like September of 2004 again; operate some rides, get all shitfaced at the Labor Day party, hang out with my future husband (did you know that Husband worked at the amusement park with me?), watch people, have crushes, see sunsets through the beams of a roller coaster, and enjoy that incomparable feeling of “Oh yeah! I remember that!”

[moonlit-maiden]

So it's looking like WSFM is most likely gonna come on the big March 25th update for LN and I'm over here cussing at myself cause I dumped an extra 500ish dias on the Barbie pavilion. My reasoning was it is legit NEVER coming back and come oooon blue dress! I got the necklace from the model suit and the stupid backpack antenna thing from the space one. And dupes. fuuuuuck!

And now it's practically been confirmed WSFM is coming and I'm SO pissed at myself gods DAMN it! IF I'm lucky I can get Wind and Flower without dropping actual cash to buy dias. Just... I'm so pissed at myself. I've been waiting since JULY of last year, saved up to 17k... and then November hit with the 4 Wars event which I did restrain myself well so at 12k dias… then 4 Stories came and that event IS one of the Hell Events I actually give a shit about so... Down to 5k dias. then Ghost Gathering came and I could finally get Miss Bone and Flower Mirror cause the first time the event came I legit didn't understand wtf was going on cause I was new.... down to 2k. Then all the damn pavilions... Ugh.

Like yes, it's on me and I don't blame anyone. I don't. I just hate that I didn't just leave it at getting the stunning throne. the blue dress, unposed, isn't even that great like come on me! You knew that! Fuck. The stupid "it's never coming back" crap hooked me in the end. Never. Again.

I just... look. If anyone who follows me plays LoveNikki, you know how the devs have not been wanting to let old events and recharge suits return for crafting. It's really become a big issue. It's also unfair because on every other server they return. For us it's like pulling teeth! It's so fucking disrespectful. Doesn't look like it'll stop either. So I won't lie, when I see something I like I get a bit anxious now. I think I'll try and figure out strategies to defuse the fomo anxiety. Because I love the game and I'm lucky to have some expendable cash (not much but) to give to this game. But enough is enough and this game should make me happy. Once I started spending on the game it's gone semi-downhill. I'd never spent money on a mobile game before cause they're replicable but LN is genuinely unique regarding the variety and quality of the outfits. Plus the lore, fun events, etc. That's WHY I started dumping money; it was a unique product I found I could see myself keeping in the long run.

But yeah. I'll start reminding myself it's 1. just a game and b. even though it's like pulling gods damned TEETH, the stuff WILL return one way or another. And that it's genuinely better to save for hell events and drop SOME spare dias on events I really love the outfits of (like the Divine Psalm pavilion and the Fate Trio event) because those are the outfits you use a lot and the events that make you happy and not semi-regret using dias for instead of saving.

(but that throne was worth it, okay guys? Worth. It. Barbie Throne. And apparently the drop rate for it is about 1.5% so I got HELLA lucky getting ti in only 11 pulls aka 840 dias.)

[docandprof]

In Which I Pick Up The Pieces

Buddy,

May I just say you really have a way with words - so eloquently expressing your thoughts and feelings in writing. As I sit here thinking about all the things I want to say to you I feel like they are many, so let’s take the plunge. 

It has not been a week yet since my last post, but I haven’t just sat around all day, technically. I had an accounting exam Monday night and you know I went into accounting with confidence that “it’s easy” and “I’m so smart,” but in the days leading up to the exam I realized that it is precisely when I feel like that that I need to work my hardest. I actually just recalled something Mrs. Merchantz told me sophomore year and it is this: “Don’t become complacent.” Now I’m telling you the same thing, because complacency is the enemy of improvement - moe on that later. So I studied for the exam, and I just hope it went well. Later that night, or rather very early Tuesday morning, was spent exploring the Ringed City - the final installment of the Dark Souls saga. I haven’t completed it yet (tough bosses!), but it makes me sad that a franchise that I honestly feel has changed my life is coming to a close (just look at my username for crying out loud!). Yet it is still tons of fun and a great challenge. It also reminded me the magic of uncovering new little lore notes within the Souls universe and I hope that I am able to imagine amazing worlds like that of Souls when I become a game designer. (Since watching One Piece and the exploits of Monkey D. Luffy, I’ve realized that the best way to accomplish your dreams is to cut out the “ifs” and the “maybes” or “hopefullys” and just deal with absolutes - which is a fallacy in itself, but moving on). *segway* I’ve been watching quite a bit of One Piece this week too, which is a beautiful feat of the importance of friendship thus far. I also just got DJ started on Attack on Titan since season 2 is coming this weekend! Last night also featured RENT, the musical. Which was totally awesome! The Honors College still had free tickets left, so I said what the heck and went. Amidst all of this my week has consisted of trying to figure out housing for the summer which is such a pain. Legal documents are the bane of reason and belief in human decency. So that’s been my week, now to address your situation.

You mentioned there were a couple things bothering you, so I’ll try to say things that maybe help you feel better about them. Let’s begin with FOMO - that crippling fear that keeps us out far too late into the night and keeps us up even if we’re in. Personally, I think it’s great that you feel this way about your group of friends. I know I definitely felt that fear a lot back home, so I usually made sure to hang out with everyone, because feeling like you’re missing out on a good time sucks. However, I think this fear is rooted in insecurity in the self. I sometimes felt like when I missed out on things people had more fun than usual, which made me feel like I was no fun to be around, but you call these people your friends. They’re your friends for a reason and I think you should remember that the next time FOMO strikes. We all have responsibilities to family, work, school, etc. so we can’t be there for every experience with our friends, but we can make sure to make the most of the time we do share with them. Hang on to those memories you make, and don’t forget that your friends care about you! 

Boy - you are a strong independent woman and you don’t need no man for validation. But seriously I think you have self-imposed expectations and that’s not right. (Keep in mind during this section that there are lots of exceptions). You said you feel something in your life is lacking, and the first thing you mentioned was a significant other - a girlfriend, if you will. Now, is it okay if you want a girlfriend? Yes. Is it okay if you think you need a girlfriend? No. There are a lot of expectations put upon American youth, but I just want you to know that what others think isn’t as important as what you feel. We never talked about feelings much because we’re “men” and we don’t do that often because society said so, however, I’m pretty confident that you only liked one girl from junior high through high school, but you had a couple other girlfriends along the way anyways. I’m not trying to judge or offend, but I wonder if that’s just because you felt like you needed a girlfriend. I feel like I’m going to start talking in circles so I’ll stop myself, but I just want you to know that you have lots of great friends and shouldn’t feel like you need a girlfriend unless there’s someone you really feel a spark with (more on that later). 

During high school, I don’t think we appreciated physical education enough because I have definitely lost some physical ability too. I’m going to put my foot down on this one and say that a healthy lifestyle is important and that involves being physically active. Although we like to pretend that walking to class constitutes enough exercise, or come up with all sorts of excuses not to work out, neither of us is in the physical shape he wants to be. For me, the biggest challenge is getting to the Rec center. So my advice is to just get there. If I try to think of a workout or come up with a plan of when to go, it doesn’t really work out. But yesterday I was walking back from class with some friends and said I was going to the CoRec and that I just wanted to hurry up and get there before I changed my mind - and I finally went for the first time in the past few weeks. 

As for the challenges of academia, just don’t give up. You floated through high school on a zephyr because you are just a smart kid. You’re in the big leagues now and that means you need to bust your ass, and I think you’ve realized that by now too. I don’t think you’re struggling because you’re being lazy or the course material is too hard, I just think that adapting to change is difficult and that’s what you’ve had to do.  You didn’t have to work hard in high school, but now you do. You probably knew all that already, but sometimes it’s nice to hear someone else agree (I hope). 

The bottom line is just as you said - all of these things are controllable. In RENT one of the main characters, Roger, has this dream of writing an amazing song before he dies of AIDS and struggles to do this throughout the play. He wants to be able to look back on his life and say he did something amazing, all of which is made clear during “One Song, Glory.” In One Piece there is a young boy whose father was killed by the Arlong pirates and all he can think about is revenge and is obsessed with the fact that the pirates killed his father. However, when our beloved protagonists defeat the Arlong pirates and liberate the island from their tyrannical rule the boy reacts differently than expected. He is talking with a supporting character who comments that she thought he would be more upset that they didn’t defeat the pirates sooner so that his father would still be alive, and his response is very mature. Thanks to Crunchyroll’s subtitles, I know he says this: “But now I’m thinking about the future...starting tomorrow we have to start from scratch on our own. There’s no way we can forget what happened in the past, and I don’t think we need to. But, I think what’s most important is what happens from now on! What we do now. What things we need to do.” And I still remember what Merchantz told me three years ago about not becoming complacent. We all want to make a difference in this world, leave a legacy, but to do that we can’t dwell on the past. We need to look forward with confidence and remember that nothing of great value ever comes easy. I’ll tell you what you told me - trust in yourself (and in God) and things will work out. 

Thanks for reading to the end. My recommendation of the week is live theater. Nothing quite like it, and I doubt you can ever have too much of it. Remember I’m only a phone call away if you ever need anything. If all of that above wasn’t enough to think about I will ask you this - what is it about stories that grabs our interest as humans so much? 

Wishing you well