#I have a big test tomorrow on a subject I’m shit at my laptop I was doing work on just died the way I learned something was wrong and my

[sunny-m00n]

You ever just get so overwhelmed you just

[simpsiren]

trailer of you

park jisung x reader

main masterlist

description. “Will a 30 second trailer really tell you everything you need to know about a person and know what you’re getting yourself into?” The only question that resonates in my head after my smooth relationship with the guy next door started to get rocky. Judging from his trailer, he seemed normal at first glance. Should I even open my heart to him? I trusted him too quickly with his baby face and sweet words, only to find him hurt my heart with his expertly hidden agenda.

genre. college!au, trailer!au, strangers to lovers!au, betrayal but soon get back together typa au cudndjdn 

warnings. nonee

a/n. as you can probably tell the idea came from the 30 seconds trailer trend on tiktok and i liked the concept so i wanted to try it out! this is my first time writing jisung HAHA other than that this is going to be a long ass ff so buckle up! :D 

“Did you know?”

I groaned as I heard Jaemin speak. “Dont tell me you have another mind blowing discovery fact that I just had to know.” I waved my hands around in the air jokingly as i kept my back towards Jaemin and continue writing my essay on my laptop.

I’ve been friends with Na Jaemin for a long time. Probably too long. Ever since I got to meet him in high school due to being in the same mathematics class and sitting next to each other almost everyday, it didn’t take the two us long to become close and soon, best friends.

Of course the two best friends decided to attend the same college together. At the very least, not all our classes were the same. The only class Jaemin and I signed up together was psychology, since we both shared an interest in that field. Apart from that, we went about pursuing our other interests. For me, it was modern dance while Jaemin decided to take some class about Geography, a subject I just seem to never come to like.

To top it off, we got a room in college together as well. Might seem weird to others since almost everyone shares a room with the same gender but then again, it felt completely normal for us.

On days like these where the two of us ended our classes around the same time, we would usually stay in for the day and just hang out.

“So you know how the room beside us is empty?” Jaemin sat up from his bed while I spun my chair around to face him. I rolled your eyes clearly at him, making him snicker.

“It’s not another ghost story i swear!” Jaemin lifted his arms up in the air in defence. I chuckled and raises my eyebrows, motioning him to continue and elaborate.

“I found out that a new student apparently enrolled.” Jaemin sayed nonchalantly, moving to the edge of the wall and letting his back lean on it.

I shrugged. “So?”

Jaemin folded his arms and gave me an unimpressed look.

“High chance he or she will move in next door.” Jaemin clicked his tongue. I turned my chair back to face my desk and resumed typing on my keyboard.

“Not to be rude, Jaemin, but that fact is practically irrelevant to me.” I mumbled, loud enough for him to hear. “Who knows?! He or she might get possessed by the spirit lingering in that room!” Jaemin retorted. I heard the bed creaking as he stood up and took two wide steps to reach my desk, his hand placed on the headrest of my chair and having him bent down beside me.

“You said this wasn't another ghost story.” I bore my eyes at Jaemin. I shook my head and pressed my finger down on the period key, signalling the end of my paragraph for today. I let out a sigh of satisfaction as I used my mouse to scroll through my essay, scanning over my sentences and paragraphs briefly before proceeding to shut down my laptop.

“I get that you hear banging on the walls but that happens in basically every apartment.” I added on, standing up from my chair and walking to the kitchen to find something to eat in the fridge. Jaemin followed closely behind me.

“Okay yes well apart from that...” Jaemin pauses for a moment while I went to the fridge and pulled out a packet of KitKat. As i peel the wrapper off, I jerk my head up with raised brows. “That...” I repeated his last word to signal him to finish his sentence. “We should make friends with him or her.”

I kept silent as I started to think about Jaemin’s idea. Making friends? It’s not my thing, never has either. The only person I would consider to be my friend is Jaemin. Other people whom i’ve met were just merely people I consider acquaintances. College was no different. Jaemin is clearly the more outgoing among the two of us. Having plenty of friends and quite high of a social status within the college. It was he who had to force me to socialise by bringing me to parties or outings with his friends, though the only group of friends he have that i seem to get along with decently are his hockey friends.

“I guess that’ll be okay?” I reply, the tone of doubt that i tried to hide away somehow shined through. Jaemin pat my head as I break the KitKat into two, unconsciously giving Jaemin the other half and taking a bite of mine. “It will be. Remember, I’m always there to guide you if you feel the awkwardness” Jaemin reassures me, lifting his half of the KitKat in the air before taking a bite. He grins happily, a feature of his I will never get tired of. His ray of sunshine and liveliness has always been a vital part of our friendship. I truly appreciate the fact that he always has a happy aura around him to get me through college.

“Do you know when the student’s moving in?” I ask, leaning my hip against the kitchen counter. Jaemin copied my posture and nodded his head. “I heard from Jeno that they’ll be moving in tomorrow.” Jaemin quickly finished his KitKat and washed his hand. I wasn’t even half done through my stick.

Shaking off the excess water on his hands, Jaemin walks back to the kitchen counter. “I’ll text you when I end for the day and we can meet him together.” I only shrug my shoulders in response, finally finishing the stick and throwing the plastic wrapper into the trashcan and washing my hands. I heard Jaemin’s footsteps going away from me as I assumed he went to the living room, hearing the television switching on.

I took my seat beside Jaemin as he opened up Netflix, browsing through different movies we could watch on our free day. “We can see his trailer as well. I really hope it’s not boring like many others.”

In my opinion, all the trailers of the people I came into contact with were really boring. It didn’t seemed to peak an interest in me and I overall felt that I wouldn’t be able to fit myself into their life as my life just didn’t seem to fit well with theirs. Jaemin was the only one who had a trailer whom I found interesting and I immediately thought that I could be close to him. Hence, becoming best friends.

“You’re just way too unique. Honestly when I saw your trailer it made me think Looks like I'm the only one who can fit into her lifestyle. And now look. I’m your only best friend.” I smacked Jaemin in the chest, making him let out a wince in pain. Lucky for him, he was used to my beatings and recovered right away.

I shook my head as a waved a finger in front of him. “Nuh-uh yours was as weird as mine. You don't know know how skeptical I was watching your trailer.” I retorted with a scoff.

I tried making myself comfortable while Jaemin was still browsing the movie section. With impatience taking over my body, I snatched the controller away from him and decided to choose a horror movie that had an interesting cover with an intriguing synopsis.

“Both our trailers were weird, and that’s why we’re a match made in heaven.”

“No shit, dork.” I lay my head on Jaemin’s shoulder as the two of us grew silent and paying our attention onto the tv screen.

Classes today went by as usual. Not surprised by the fact that I received my results for my History of Architecture test and earning an A+. It always felt so good when my hard work of staying up and having daily night long sessions of completing workload paid off. Well, it was mainly my determination but also Jaemin’s ability to get me my milk tea from Liho that pushed me through those sleepless nights.

I finally ended my last class. I was packing up my stuff when someone bumped into me, i assumed accidentally as he walked away without even reacting to the fact that he bumped into me and caused me to drop my pencil case and having my stationery falling out.

I scoffed in amusement. “Rude, much?” I mumbled to myself as I brought my gaze upwards from the floor to see the back of the person who caused me this mess.

He was wearing a black backpack and a black jean jacket which had green accents on it, along with black jeans and a pair of Classic Old Skool Vans. I creased my forehead as I quickly shrugged it off, not wanting to make a big deal out of it and went back to packing my bag.

“You sound annoyed. Sorry i guess.” My eyes blinked rapidly as I heard a voice. I knew from the guy who bumped into me as i heard his footsteps coming back to my direction.

It irritated me how he sounded arrogant and had a somewhat husky voice. Though I thought it was the kind of voice where the owner of it would be bright and lively like Jaemin, but dangerous once you anger them. I wanted to take a look at his face but he was soon out of my sight as he exited the classroom.

While i was walking out of class and making my way down the halls, I took out my phone and texted Jaemin to ask where he’s at. After not receiving a reply, which was odd since he has always been able to reply my texts in the matter of seconds, I only assumed he had an important matter to attend to or his class was being extended. So, I decided to head back to our room.

I unlocked the door and headed inside, tossing my bag onto the chair near my desk and throwing myself onto my bed, letting out a long sigh as i felt the comfort of my bed, grabbing my stuffed toy fox to indulge myself with even more comfort.

Bringing out my phone that I had in my hand, I got comfortable in my bed and started to play on my phone till Jaemin finally sent me a reply. I opened the chat instantly.

nAnA 😤🙄✌️: Hey sorry for not replying. Class got extended. I’m heading back to our room. You’re there right?

y/n: yeah i am. see you soon dork <3

I put my phone under my pillow as I look down to my fluffy stuffed toy fox. I got lost in its beaded eyes as i start wondering about how the person next door is like. More importantly, how his or her trailer would look like. What kind of moments would the trailer show that could describe their life story in 30 seconds?

My thoughts got cut off when i heard the door open, knowing it was Jaemin. He closes the door behind him and throws his bag off to the side of his bed and walking towards me to take a seat at the edge of my bed. I knew he was about to tell me about how we should be going to meet our new neighbour but before he opened his mouth, I lifted my hand up to put his words on hold.

“Do you even know what time he or she ends today?” I asked, sitting up straight and hugging my stuffed toy close to my chest.

“Firstly, it’s a male. Secondly, I found out that he’s in the same elective as Mark, he told me that it’s their last class for the day so they should be finished by now.” Jaemin rambled on as he glanced at the time on his phone’s home screen.

“You seriously have way too many connections with way too many people.”

Jaemim chuckled. “It’s not wrong to have connections that would never fail to benefit you.”

I shrugged and pushed Jaemin off my bed so i could get up, planting a quick kiss on my stuff toy before placing it neatly in front of my pillow. I looked towards the body length mirror in between the two beds to adjust my clothes. I then tilt my head up to Jaemin. “Shall we go then?”

Jaemin nodded. I grabbed my usual essentials as Jaemin opened the door for me and we headed out.

It only took us about 6 steps to reach the room where our unknown neighbour lies behind the door. However, I also started wondering if he’s even in his room or not. Who knows? He could be busy and hasn’t arrived yet.

Regardless, Jaemin took the initiative to knock on his door. The two of us could only wait silently as we didn’t seem to get an immediate answer. Jaemin bobbed his shoulders and knocked on the door one more time. We waited, again, longer than previously.

I was about to open your mouth to tell Jaemin that he’s probably not in his room until he puts a finger in front of me as he leaned towards the door. I paused my actions as I could hear footsteps from the other side of the door coming close.

Finally the door opens, revealing a blonde haired guy who looked like he had just woken up from his slumber. His eyes were half opened as he rubbed one of them with his hand while the other hand ran through his hair. He shakes his head as he widened his eyes to focus on the two strangers in front of him.

I scanned him up and down. Taking notes on his posture, actions and appearance. As my eyes went down, I took a look at his outfit. It matched to the guy who bumped into me at the end of class.

“Quinn?” He asked while he yawned. I tilted my head in confusion.

“Oh you know Quinn?” Jaemin asked back, surprised as he pointed his finger at you.

He looked taken aback for awhile trying to process the situation. I started wondering how he knew my name.

“Uh yeah. I’m in her Architecture class.”

“But how do you know-“

“I saw your name on your notebook when i bumped into you.”

Jaemin cocked an eyebrow as he noticed an unknown tension.

“So what’s your name? Im Na Jaemin, and as you know, she’s Quinn.” Jaemin introduced, his hand gesturing to me. I barely bowed my head to greet him. “Park Jisung.” Jisung introduced himself, shoving his hands into his pockets. It made a clear voiceless statement that he didn’t want to shake our hands or have any form of contact.

“We live next door to you so i guess we’ll be seeing each other often. Especially Quinn.”

Jisung doesn’t reply, constantly switching gazes between me and Jaemin, probably having the same idea as us. Jaemin however was the first one to speak up. “Could we... perhaps watch your trailer?”

“I’d like to see yours as well.” Jisung jerks in head towards us. Jaemin and I nodded, proceeding to do the same actions as Jisung to reveal our trailers.

Putting his index and middle finger in the air, he places them beside his head and swiftly bends it forward slightly. That resulted in a see through screen popping up from his head.

Jisung watched Jaemin’s trailer first, reaching his hand out towards his screen and pressing the play button.

Jaemin and I exchanged glances before clicking on the play button for Jisung’s 30 second trailer to begin.

While Jisung was looking at Jaemin’s trailer, I noticed a few things.

Honestly speaking, what i was seeing in the trailer didnt exactly match the person whose standing in front of me. The trailer showed a lot of moments where he smiled, eyes forming into a thin line and a scrunched up nose whenever he does. It showed him doing what I assumed to be hobbies like dancing and playing video games.

I thought about how Jisung and I have a common love for dance, something I hold dearly and thought it would be a great way to get close to him. I just have that common connection with dancers, since they know things about dance that's unique which others don't.

I only saw one group of friends around him. They seemed like the group of friends who are always chaotic and would have play fights with each other almost every second, but that was what showed me that Jisung had a close relationship with them. It was heartwarming to watch.

I also saw him trying to cook in the kitchen. I see a few of the same friends in the kitchen with him. Only one of them seemed decent in cooking while Jisung was practically clueless. It made me laugh softly. I found it cute how he’s dorky and clueless.

As i finished watching the trailer, taking into account all the moments that showed who Jisung really is, he seemed like someone i could vibe with. Someone I could possibly be my quirky crazy self like how I am around Jaemin. The person in front of me may not seem like the one in the trailer, but it made me think that he’s like me, someone who can't open up to others at first glance.

When Jaemin knews that Jisung has completed his trailer, Jaemin gave a questioning look towards him. “So how’s my trailer?”

“You’re weird, looked drunk most of the time but i assume its due to the coffee that you consume an unhealthy amount of everyday.”

Jaemin laughs nervously. “But I like you, don't worry.”

I saw Jisung’s smiling. The warm smile I saw in the trailer.

The next trailer he had to watch was mine. For some reason, I felt nervous thinking about all his possible reactions. Would he be fine with it? Would he be disgusted or irritated by the moments in my trailer. Will he not think that I would be able to make good friends with him like how I thought about him?

I guess my nervousness showed through my actions when i felt Jaemin patting the lower part of my back. I turn towards Jaemin who nodded his head to show a sign to reassurance as Jisung extended his hand to play my trailer.

Jisung’s reaction was skeptical. Some parts had him make a soft smile, which was great while other times he had a serious and judgy expression. It looked like reactions that you made while watching other people’s trailers.

30 seconds went by fast and the see through screens above our heads all dissolved into thin air at the same time. “What do you think? Wanna hang out with us more?” I brushed a few strands of hair behind my ear.

Jisung hummed softly. “Sure, looks like i'll have fun with you guys.”

Jaemin and I grin in unison. At least I finally had someone whom I might be able to consider my friend. It was too quick to assume that, but I just have a feeling and Jisung and I would get along pretty well.

As time flew by, Jisung started to get closer and closer to me and Jaemin. More so to me. After a day out where the three of us went to check out a new restaurant that just opened a few blocks away, Jisung started to invite me to go out with him alone. I felt a little bad on our days out since it meant for Jaemin to be excluded, but he was always cool with him, opting to stay in the room or hanging out with his other groups of friends.

Today on a Saturday night was no different.

“You heading out with Jisung again?” I hummed in reply as Jaemin appeared behind me. Only his chest down could be seen in the mirror in front of me as i wore my earrings while sitting down at my dressing table.

“Where to this time? You seem to be dressing up classier than usual.” Jaemin commented, brushing my hair through his hands gently as he took a good look at my outfit and makeup.

I looked at him in the mirror, letting out a soft, “I don't know.” Jaemin’s eyebrow twitches as he looked as me with suspicion. 

Jaemin leaned forward, his face alighting with mine side by side. “He better not do shit to you, or else I’m killing him.” Jaemin’s eyes grew dark and his voice became low and husky. I shivered, not seeing this side of Jaemin often since I was never in a situation where he had to be protective. 

I turned my head to the side and push his face away, earning a frown from Jaemin. “I’m going to fine. He said he wanted to surprise me so...” I shrugged, standing up from the dressing table and packing my essentials up in a small sling bag.

“Got any plans tonight?” I asked Jaemin as I slid my phone into my back pocket.

Jaemin bobbed his shoulders with a slight smile on his face. “I might be going out with someone.” Jaemin whispers softly, looking down and fidgeting with his feet. 

I smirked widely. It was no doubt the suspicion in my mind was right. “Keep me updated on her, alright? Have fun!” I said to Jaemin as I checked the things in my sling bag one last time and winking at Jaemin playfully to which he responded with a chuckle before exiting the room. 

Jisung and I have been walking down a street for awhile now. I was met with unknown shops left and right. Clearly this place was quite secluded and out of public view. Despite me exploring the town near college, it was only now that i found out this place existed thanks to Jisung.

“Just where are you taking me?” I asked with a soft laugh. 

Jisung suddenly stopped in his tracks and swung his body to face me. I tilted my head at his sudden behaviour. Jisung motioned to a shop on the left. I looked towards Jisung’s direction. It didn't have a sign above it nor a window where i could see what was inside. “Come on. I’ll show you.” Jisung interlocked his fingers with mine, something we have grown to do as friends. Our friendship eventually grew to be more physical as time went on. 

Jisung opened the door ahead for me, gesturing me to walk in. As i stepped inside, my mouth gaped open. The shop was filled with books. Book on shelves, on tables for display. It was like I entered paradise made for me. I flashed a wide smile over to Jisung, who tightened his grip on my hand. 

“I knew how much you liked reading. So I did some research and found this place. I heard all the books have been hand picked by the owner.” 

I didnt reply, only laughing in excitement as I looked around the tiny shop, immediately going to a random shelve and picking out a book that had an interesting cover. 

While reading the synopsis behind a book, I whispered softly, “Why bring me here when it’s not your place of interest?” 

Jisung breathed sharply as he let out a quick sigh. “I wanted to do something for you. That’s all.” Jisung replied simply, shrugging as if what he did was just a small gesture. I, however, thought it was a huge gesture. It showed me that he cared. The fact that he went to research for a place I have never heard of and would like.

“Ever heard of The Wrath and the Dawn?,” I asked, pulling it out from the shelve immediately when I recognised its spine. Jisung shook his head. I chuckle, passing the book to Jisung. He took it into his hands, not sure what to do with it. 

“Read it. I know you don't like reading, but this book really changed things for me.” Jisung hummed, holding the book up in the air with a subtle smile. 

I browsed through the store, quickly picking out two books that seemed interesting to me as I didn't want to bore Jisung any longer by having to put up with me checking every book in the store. 

Just as I was about to take out cash from my wallet, Jisung placed a hand on mine that was in my wallet. I looked up to meet Jisung’s eyes.

“I’ll pay.” 

“But you pay for everything on every single outing we went together-”

“You know you cant fight me on this. Put the wallet away.” 

I pouted, making him let out a laugh as I slid my wallet back into my sling bag. He payed for the three books, two of mine and the book I recommended him to read. I took a good look at him while he had a small chat with the cashier and owner. 

The way he smiled and laugh. I started to think about the times I’ve spent with Jisung. The fact that I was able to open up to him quickly and have conversations I never thought i would have after meeting someone after less than a year. The deep conversations we would have, in person or on the phone late at night while Jaemin was asleep. He saw me in states where i felt all the more cautious about. My intense breakdowns due to stress which could only be treated with Jaemin’s comfort as well as kind words that had immense impact from Jisung over the phone. We shared dark secrets as well. Looking back at these moments made me felt something I never did. It was similar to how i felt towards Jaemin, but very different. 

“Quinn?” My thoughts were cut off with Jisung’s voice. I shook my head off the thoughts and proceeded to head out of the shop, offering to carry the books but of course Jisung insisted on holding them. 

We decided to head back to college grounds and hang out in Jisung’s room. The place was secluded and dimly lit, only the library was opened for students who wanted to study there overnight. 

“Can i ask something?” Jisung paused the video about the funny moments of Seventeen on his laptop, turning his is body to face me. “Hm?” I let out, frowning at the fact that he paused the video at my favourite part. 

“Have you ever been in love?” 

A question I have never had a proper encounter of it. I hugged my knees near my chest as I took a sip of iced peach tea in a can that we got from a vending machine near the cafeteria. “I don't think so? I did date Jaemin once, but we were kids and barely knew what love was.”

I let out a soft sigh, “I’m still unsure of it... even now.”

Jisung flashed me a subtle smile. I felt soothed by just that. “Never did I, either.” He pauses for a moment before continuing. 

“But if I had to guess... I’d say that love is a feeling where you feel yourself wanting to be better around that particular person. You start to act so dumb around them to make them laugh and you start finding out what they like and dislike, to make sure all that person could feel were butterflies and rainbows.”

I started to think about his words. Butterflies and rainbows. Something I’ve always felt whenever I’m with Jisung. No matter what state of emotion I was in, it felt as if he knew me well and knew what to do to make me feel better. I started to find myself wanting to look better around him, dressing up to make myself more presentable as usual. I even have his Liho order etched into my mind every time we went to Liho to get milk teas. 

“And you know what’s funny?” 

“What?”

Jisung took in a deep breath before letting out a loud sigh, chuckling to himself as he shook his head, his blonde fringe falling down his forehead to frame his face perfectly. 

“The fact that I feel all those things whenever I’m with you.”

I froze in my spot with my muscles suddenly becoming stiff. My mind went blank as his words were repeated. How do i even react? What do I say? Do i tell him I feel the same? But that would mean he thinks I like him and I should be in a relationship with him but I’m clearly not prepared for that yet.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

My frown deepened. I wanted to say something. I couldn’t just leave his words hanging with no proper conclusion to the conversation. It was sort of my habit to have everything laid on the table so I could get a clear look at the situation.

“I feel the same... but I’m scared of getting involved in a relationship.”

I watched as Jisung forced a smile. I knew it was forced. This smile was different from the one he would have every time he take a bite of his favourite chocolate ice cream. He nodded his head, telling me that he understood my feelings.

“I get it. We’ve only been friends for less than a year. When i watched your trailer, I had a feeling you weren’t one for relationships.”

I was about to open my mouth to speak, but my words were stuck in my throat. A second passed before I could form my sentence properly. “I mean I’m open to it but you’re kind of right. I want to give us more time.”

I heard him sigh. I could tell he was disheartened yet he’s trying his best to stay together. I felt a sharp pain in my heart as he chuckled to himself.

“It’s fine. I can wait. Just as long as I’m not waiting for nothing.”

I could purse my lips into a thin line. Slowly but surely, I brough my hand up to brush away strands of hair that covered his eyes. He lifts his eyes up, but they were unable to meet mine.

“I promise. I see myself with you in the future.”

“Quinn~” Jaemin called out to me while i was playing with my phone while laying down on my bed.

“What?” I asked, my back still facing him.

I heard Jaemin’s bed creak as he stood up to take a seat at the edge of my bed. He gently places a hand on my head and caress my hair. I turned my body and looked up to face him, obviously weirded out by how nice he was being.

“Are you seriously babying me so that I would go to the frat party?” I rolled my eyes. Jaemin’s intentions were always too obvious whenever he gets all soft and sweet with me.

As Jaemin is my best friend, I knew his habits. One of them being that if I didn't agree with him on something, he would pamper me as much as possible as a way to convince me with anything that was on his mind. And with his puppy dog eyes and cuteness, you could imagine how hard it was for me not to fall for his trap.

“Yes, yes I am.” I gave Jaemin a look of disinterest. He knows I dislike going to parties. And he knows how hard it is to persuade me to go. Yet he never gave up. The next thing he said however, intrigued me immediately and started to take his idea into consideration.

“Jisung’s gonna be there.” Jaemin shrugged, trying to act nonchalant but I knew he was thinking about how he’s winning me over. I blinked my eyes once as i gave a blank expression. I then pouted my lips and sat up straight. Jaemin’s eyes literally sparkled the moment I did so. 

“When is it?” I heaved a sigh in defeat, rubbing my face with my right hand. “This Sunday.” Jaemin answered immediately out of excitement. 

Though I had my focus on the conversation with Jaemin, my mind also wondered off to thinking about food. I was seriously craving take out right now. “It’ll be fun! Come on, we’ve just finished out exams. You’ve been stressed enough. You should go out more.” Jaemin added on. 

While listening to Jaemin talk, I opened the app Grab Food on my phone. As i scrolled through the different places near the college and browsing through different menus, Jaemin let out a quick, “Plus, it was Jisung’s idea to invite you.”

“Did he now?” 

Jaemin hummed as he leaned near me to have a peek of my phone. “Take out?” He asked, with his tone was bright and happy. I nodded my head. 

“We seriously think so alike.” I gave Jaemin a subtle smile before Jaemin and I ended up looking through the menus together. While Jaemin decided on what to order, I couldn't help but feel somewhat nervous about the party on Sunday. Would I really be fine? I’ll have Jaemin, though I assume he can't be around me 24/7 due to his social nature. The only hope I had that would best help me get through the night was Jisung. 

Jaemin and I entered the frat party. And I already hate it here. I wasn't even five steps in when a stranger hands me a red plastic cup filled with beer. The huge crowd and very limited space, the loud banging music, though I only appreciate listening to them on my earphones and the amount of talking and screaming that filled the room. Of course it had to be topped off with the reeking smell of alcohol. 

“I’ll find Jisung for you, alright? I’m going to meet my hockey friends after.” Jaemin said, keeping his arm around you shoulder to make sure you were close and protected near him. 

I only nodded nervously. I honestly wished I could just magically vanish myself out of here and in the room with a book. But I never want to disappoint Jaemin by leaving the party that he tried so desperately for me to come, so I made a clear decision in my head to put up with it and prayed that nothing would happen to me.

Jaemin kept me very close as we walked through the crowd, people bumping into at every direction. “Jisung-ah!” Jaemin shouted. Jisung didn’t seem to hear his call. He was about to shout again when out of nowhere, one of Jaemin’s friends pulled him away from me. I opened my mouth, wanting to call out to him but he soon disappeared into the crowd. I did however see his hand waving up high above the crowd and giving me a hand sign of a phone to signal me to call him if anything happened. 

I groaned and rolled my eyes, looking down at the cup of beer in my hands. Shrugging, I took a small sip. I wasn't much of a drinker, but tonight - tonight was the only exception, using alcohol as a way to release the pent up stress that have been bottling up inside me during the exams. 

“Hi!” I suddenly heard. I turned my back to see who it was. Oh no, was all i thought as I stared at the girl whom I dislike. The girl who broke Jaemin’s heart. 

“Hey, Ji A” I mumbled back. I tried to give her a half-smile. I felt myself tensing up at the thought of starting a conversation with someone I held a slight grudge against. 

“What do you think of the party?” I blinked at her. I kept quiet for a moment before answering with a soft. “It’s fine.” 

I was about to burst if she ever think she can hold a conversation with me right now. She knew very well what she did to Jaemin, as well as the fact that I’m his best friend. I couldn't get how she could act as if nothing happened in the past and putting it all behind her like it meant nothing and did not result in a single impact on her. 

“I was thinking about asking you if you wanna-”

“Hey, baby.” I heard the familiar voice that made me let out a quiet sigh of relief.

Baby? That’s definitely a first. 

I felt Jisung’s arm slide around my waist swiftly as he pulled me close. I would be lying if I said that my heart didn’t quickened as butterflies started fluttering in the bottom of my stomach. I only prayed that my cheeks were not blushing a bright pink. To make matters worse, Jisung leaned down to plant a quick kiss on the side of my eye as he fakely smiled towards Ji A.

“You need another drink, don’t you?” I looked up at Jisung, slightly confused. As he raised his eyebrows and jerked his head slightly, I immediately received his signal that told me to play along as he sent some telepathy message that he was trying to save me from my uncomfortable situation with Ji A.  “Uh... y-yeah of course.” 

“Sorry but please excuse us. We’re going to be a little busy upstairs soon.” 

I wasn't sure if this was the real Jisung, or the alcohol that I assumed he has consumed to be talking. I was definitely shocked by how bold he was since he has always seemed to be the shy type to me. 

Ji A looked at us with a smug face, clicking her tongue and huffing in amusement. “Sure, go ahead, Have fun.” She said with annoyance before walking away with her arms folded. Jisung kept his hand on my waist, not to tightly nor loosely either as he led me to a space in the house that was away fro the large crowd that was gathering for who knows what reason. 

“You seem to not like that girl.” Jisung bent down to whispered near my ear in an attempt to overpower the loud music in the background. I pursed my lips into a thin line and hummed. “If there’s anyone I would throw under a bus, it would be her.” 

Jisung replied with a smile and a chuckle. “I know you have plenty of other people you would like to do that to.” And it was true. Due to my judgy nature, I would judge anyone that came into my sight. And if i sensed that I didn’t like their attitude, I would never fail to whisper to Jisung or Jaemin that i dislike them at first glance. 

“Did you drink?” I asked Jisung, noticing how his breath reeked of beer yet he was his usual self. “Yeah. Had a few but I have a high tolerance.” My mouth formed an ‘ah’ as i nodded. 

Out of the blue, Jisung spun my around, this time placing both his hands on my waist as my body was now facing his. Not to mention there wasn't a single inch of space between our chests’. 

“You look cute whenever you’re pissed.”

I rolled my eyes, faking my exasperation. “Ho ho wanna see some real annoyance?” I raised both my eyebrows as I gave Jisung an intimidating smile. Jisung shook his head, looking down before matching my gaze with his again. “Please save that for tomorrow.” 

I laughed softly. Jisung then looked around the house, as if trying to find someone. He lets out a soft “Ah. Found them.” I hummed as I looked around as well, wondering who he found. 

Jisung released on hand from my waist and walked me over to a group of guys. My vision only became clear when the crowd that was blocking my view went away, revealing Jaemin as well as his group of hockey friends. I smiled at the familiar faces before me as they all shouted my name and urged Jisung and I to seat with them.

“You know them?”

Jisung only shrugged, taking a seat beside Mark and gesturing me to sit down next to him. “I met them through Jaemin.” I looked over to Jaemin, who was laughing hysterically and punching Winwin’s arm, who immediately turned to him to fight back. Clearly they were drunk. I wasn’t surprised at all.

I laughed when I turned my attention over to Jaehyun, the guy in my Psychology class. The way he only sat there, unbothered by the chaos surrounding him radiated couldn’t care less energy.

“You guys seem pretty drunk.” I commented.

Jaehyun chuckled lowly and tilted his head to Jaemin and Winwin who were fighting, eventually having Lucas joining in as well, along with Taeyong trying his best to keep the situation at bay but has soon given up. “You think?”

I let out a long sigh as the little sips of alcohol I have been taking from the moment I stepped in until now started to kick in. My head started to get dizzy as my vision became slightly blurred.

I lay my head down on Jisung’s shoulder. I felt Jisung’s eyes on me. “You need to go to a room or something?” Jisung whispered. I frowned.

“You think i should?” I mumbled softly with my head turning in multiple directions to find a comfortable position on the crook of Jisung’s neck. I breathed in his scent. You would think his body smelt like alcohol but his perfume was still standing strong, putting me at ease.

Jisung tightened his grip around ms, pulling me closer so that my body layed comfortably on his.

I could tell that the others, especially Jaemin were worried about me when he shouted a, “Bro she good?” to Jisung.

“She can use my room if you wan-“

“I’ll take her back to her room.” Jisung cut Jaehyun off. My eyes were now half opened as I saw Jaemin tossing the room key to Jisung, who caught it swiftly.

“Take care of her.” Was the last thing I heard before fully closing my eyes and passing out.

I woke up, taking awhile to process my surroundings due to the banging in my head from all the alcohol. As I took into consideration the items and furniture of the room, I quickly concluded that I was in Jisung’s room. Jisung, however, was nowhere to be seen.

I patted my hands at the space around me, desperately trying to find my phone. I eventually found it within the covers, pulling it out and looking at the time on my lockscreen. 4:16 AM. I stared at the time. Where was Jisung at this timing? Could he still be at the party?

I tried recalling what happened before I passed out and remembered that Jisung was about to bring me to his room. So what i remembered was practically useless and didn’t benefit me in knowing Jisung’s current location. Great.

I groaned as I pressed a hand on my head, praying to God that my headache would come to an end soon. Though I highly doubt that as I knew from my past experiences of getting drunk that it takes me a very long time to sober up, meaning that I predicted that I would be in a hangover for quite some time.

I heard the door open. My eyes remained on the bedsheets as I assumed it was Jisung who entered the room. My assumption was soon proven wrong when I heard the sound of high heels clacking against the wooden floor, the sound coming closer and closer to me.

I looked up and tried my best to adjust my vision as I squinted my eyes. The figure, poster and clothes. Without a doubt, it was Ji A.

“So he left you here with the door unlocked and no one protecting you? Not surprised.”

“What?” I whispered, raising an eyebrow at Ji A. Just what was she doing here? How did she know where Jisung’s room was? What does she want from me?

“Hey. Lemme tell you one thing while I can tell you’re still hungover.” Ji A placed her weight on one leg as she puts a hand on her waist. I started feeling irritated again, but I was way too weak to even bother putting up a fight.

Ji A bent down to meet my eye level. The signature smirk that lit a fire in me appeared on her lips as her eyes looking down on me unsympathetically.

“You ever wonder why Jisung has been way too nice to you? How he was been nothing but perfect in the way he treated you and how you two just never seem to have gotten into a fight once in your single year of friendship?”

I used one hand to rub my face. What is Ji A going on about?

I took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry?”

“Buckle up, honey. All the butterflies and rainbows you have been experiencing with him will all be ruined by a storm he’ll be sending in not too long from now.” I heard Ji A chuckle in a devil-like manner.

As I started to process her words, my thoughts became clear and my suspicion started to peak. “The fuck are you talking about, Ji A?” I asked as I cleared my throat. I didn’t get a reply as I watch her laugh and leaving the room.

I scratched my head furiously as I tried digging further into her words to find the true meaning behind it. Was she trying to threaten me? What “storm” was Jisung about to bring upon me? As more questions filled my mind, I found it too much for my hungover state to take in. I ended up falling asleep after looking at my phone meaninglessly.

I felt a finger or two gliding over my jawline. My eyes were closed but I immediately sensed that Jisung was sitting at the edge of the bed. I fluttered my eyes open as Jisung came into my view.

“Sweetheart, how you feeling?” Jisung asked in his gentle, calming voice that always helped to soothe me. Oddly this time, it didn’t. And I knew it was because of the weird encounter I had with Ji A before I went back to sleep.

I sat up from bed weakly, falling back slightly but having Jisung hold me up and I shook my head, placing my hand on the back of my neck.

“Hey, you need to rest.” Jisung said, trying to put my body back down on the bed but I fought back. Ji A’s words about Jisung started to repeat itself in my head. Out of pure distrust that I suddenly developed towards Jisung, I pushed him away and forced myself to stand up.

I saw Jisung standing up and holding his hands out, getting ready to catch me in case I fall while I staggered to the door. “Get back in bed. I bought hangover soup for you-“

“Just...” I placed my hand on the doorknob, turning my head around to face Jisung who had an extremely worried look on his face. “Just get away from me.” I whispered, twisting the doorknob and pushing the door.

I headed out of Jisung’s room and made my way over to mine. Before I could open my door, I heard Jisung’s footsteps coming towards me as he stopped me with a hand on my wrist. “What’s wrong? D-did something happen?” Jisung stuttered, surprised by my sudden attitude towards him.

I yanked his hand off me and opened the door, seeing Jaemin on his bed with widened eyes as he saw my weak body at the door. He rushed over to me. “Quinn? Jisung...”

“Get the hell out of my sight, Jisung.” I raised my voice ever so slightly. Jaemin heard my words and furrowed his eyebrows towards Jisung.

“The fuck did you do to her?” Jaemin asked, his tone growing dark and intimidating.

“I-I dont know she just woke up and told me to back off-“

“I’m finding out what you did to her. And once I do, it’s game over for you.” Jaemin threatened Jisung as he brought me in by supporting my body with his hand around my waist and closing the door quietly in consideration of the state I was in.

Jaemin carried me to my bed and placed me down gently. I rubbed my eyes with my hands as I looked up to Jaemin, who had his arms folded and standing still.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Jaemin asked, his voice becoming soft and gentle as he took a seat on my bed. I sat up from the bed and placed my head on his lap, my head digging into his chest.

“Not now... please.” My voice got muffle as tears started to flow out of my eyes. As much as I want to hide it, my body didn’t let me. Jaemin felt his shirt getting wet and immediately started to caress my head slowly, letting out a soft, “Sh sh..” to calm me down. I continued to sob and cry as I got vulnerable in Jaemin’s embrace, eventually crying myself to sleep, wanting to forget everything that happened before and needing to rest my mind for at least a few hours.

I woke up once again. This time, the sunlight that shined through the thin curtains of the room made me wince as I looked at my surroundings which has now became fully clear.

I realised I was still laying my head on Jaemin’s lap. I noticed how he was in an uncomfortable position with his back against the wall and his head hanging downwards. I sat up and poked his shoulder in an attempt to wake him up. Luckily it worked and Jaemin rubbed his eyes before fully opening them and looking at the side to face me.

“Your eyes are all puffy, love.” Jaemin said with a subtle smile, reaching his hand out and gently brushing his thumb over the bottom of my eyes. I chuckled softly. “Did I cry that much last night?” Jaemin nodded. I let out a long sigh.

“Care to tell me what happened last night with Jisung?” Jaemin motioned me to get close to him. I got near and wrapped my arms around him as I was indulged in his cuddles. “I was at Jisung’s room. I don't know why he wasn’t there, but suddenly Ji A came into the room.”

I could tell Jaemin was taken aback since he didn’t give an immediate reply. “Ji A?” He finally spoke. I hummed in reply. Jaemin clicked his tongue and kept silent. He was thinking about his past relationship with Ji A but still signaled me to continue the story.

“For some reason, she threatened me. She said that my relationship with Jisung is going to get wrecked soon. I don't know what she meant by that.” Jaemin eyes started to fill with anger as I felt him balling his first against my shirt. Though he tried to stay calm and wanting to make me feel better is his top priority , I could tell he was furious. “The bitch really did that?” Jaemin muttered, running a hand through his hair.

“Wait how did she even know where Jisung’s room was?” I suddenly question as I started to get deep in my thoughts. That fact was odd, but the answer was obvious. “Those two probably knew each other.” Jaemin quickly replied. 

Does a 30 second trailer really tell me everything I need to know about a person? That question started to resonate in my head now that I thought of what Jisung could be doing. I started to think whether is actions were pure and sincere. Could there be a hidden agenda as to why he’s been oh so nice to me just like Ji A said? She could have told me that just to make me feel insecure. But at the same time, what if it was true?

“Tell me what to do, Nana. I seriously don't know what to think right now.” I whined to Jaemin, whose face was as still stern and scary after I mentioned Ji A.

“Maybe act normal around him first, like nothing happened. While I go spying on him and Ji A.” Jaemin said with a wide smirk. I immediately laughed, giving him a light smack on his chest. “You can’t be serious.” I said back, shaking my head.

Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows and pouted. “Hello! We can’t ask Jisung straight up. We need to be discreet.” Jaemin jokes. I swear Jaemin could make me laugh at his dorkiness in any situation. 

“I might just ignore him, to be honest. I’ve been hanging out with him too much. I want to spend more time with you.” I said, reaching my hand out to ruffle Jaemin’s perfectly soft hair. 

Jaemin gave me a few pats on my back. “Good that you’ve realised it now. I’ve been lonely without you.” I gave a subtle yet sincere smile. 

-

I cocked an eyebrow at Jaehyun’s words. What is he even thinking?

Jaehyun leaned in close, looking around to check if anyone’s watching. “Jisung keeps pressuring me to tell you to talk to him and I know you’re avoiding him but I can’t take it no more.” He grumbled. I placed a hand on my forehead and let out a long sigh. “Tell him to give up.” was all I said as I heard the professor slamming the door shut and getting everyone’s attention in a matter of seconds. 

A week has passed now without Jisung. And although I have Jaemin with me, it felt like I was missing something. It just didn’t feel right with him around. Being away from him made me look at the big picture. I’m deeply in love with him. I could deny that fact all I want but I’ll never be able to get away from it. I missed every part of him. His scent, laughter, smiles, the way I felt so right with him. But I also thought of my trust towards Jisung that was slowly deteriorating. I’ve been receiving constant texts and calls from Jisung, but I didn't reply, only using my anger as a way to keep myself from replying to his texts or picking up his calls. 

“Yo your guy here is starving and craving Subway.” Jaemin shouted out while laying on his bed. I was in deep concentration while in a PUBG Mobile match. “Order us something, will you? I’m kinda busy.” I muttered. 

“I was thinking of buying it downstairs. I need to walk around a little.” Jaemin stood up from his bed and stretched out his arms, groaning in the process. “Yeah sure, have fun.” 

Jaemin went over to my bed and take a peek of my phone. “Okay firstly, why didn’t you invite me? Secondly, you know I’m not going without you. Come on.” He suddenly said, grabbing onto my arm and dragging me out while I was still concentrated in the match.

As Jaemin and I walked down the halls to get to food area where there were different fast food shops, including Subway, my eyes were kept on the screen as I feel Jaemin’s eyes on me and my phone, watching the match intensively. 

“Oi! Kill him!” Jaemin shouted and constantly tapped my shoulder.

“I’m trying, idiot!” I shouted back. I realised we were already at Subway as Jaemin pushed the door open for me, his eyes still glued on my screen.

I quickly took a random seat that faced the door while Jaemin sat next to me. “Ah fuck!” I screamed, not too loud as I didn’t want the other customers to look at me as I died in the match.

Jaemin and I groaned at the same time as I slammed my phone on the table while Jaemin shaked his head. 

“You can never win without me now can you?” Jaemin said with a cunning smirk. I punched his shoulder. “Shut up.” 

“Alright, hurry up. Invite me.” Jaemin said. I looked down at his phone to see that he was already in the app. “Damn, you’re quick.” Jaemin shrugged nonchalantly. 

While Jaemin and I started the match and were playing together, I heard the door open. I didn’t really thought anything about it until I saw a figure at that was unrecognisable from my point of view. I took a quick look at the person, not thinking who it was and assumed it was a stranger. “Sorry this table’s taken.” I said simply. 

“How long are you going to keep ignoring me, Quinn?”

Jaemin and I shot our heads up at the same time, knowing that familiar voice belonged to Jisung. He had a really concerned look in his eyes with a small frown. Jaemin scoffed, putting his phone down and leaning in with his elbows against the table. “She doesn’t want to see you. I’m sure she’s made that pretty clear.” 

I placed my phone screen faced down on the table, unable to meet Jisung’s eyes. “No. I have to talk to her. Quinn please.” Jisung pleaded with soft eyes. I glanced over to Jaemin who bobbed his shoulders as a way to tell me it was my decision to talk to him or not. I let out a long sigh and nodded reluctantly. 

Jisung placed his hand on my wrist and dragged me out. I took on one last look at Jaemin who mouthed out, “Be careful, love.” i could only take a deep breath as Jisung dragged me to a secluded seating area. 

Jisung sat me down and sat on the opposite side. He had his arms interlocked on the table while i tapped my hands on my thighs. “Please tell me why you’re doing this to me..” Jisung whispered. 

I glanced at another direction before gathering up courage to look at Jisung. Fuck those eyes. The sweet eyes of Jisung that could mesmerise anyone if he wanted to. “What are you and Ji A?” I asked sternly. 

“We’re just friends, mere acquaintances.” Jisung immediately replied with no hesitation.

“Then how did she know where was your room?”

Jisung opened his mouth to reply but not a single sound came out for a moment.

“I’m sorry?”

“I woke up in your room. You were nowhere to be seen. The door was unlocked and Ji A came in. She fucking threatened me saying that my relationship with you would go bad.” 

“I- wait how did she-”

“Please don’t act. Stop all this bullshit you’re trying to pull.” I cut Jisung off. 

I exhaled sharply. “Your 30 second trailer. Was it even real? What are you hiding from me?”

Jisung puffed his chest a little before running a hand down his face. “I...” I waited impatiently for him to gather the words he needed to explain what was about to be said next that completely shocked me. 

“I made a bet with Ji A during a party. She said I have to make you fall for me to prove that I’m capable of being in a relationship.” 

My mouth practically could fit a whole burger at how large it gaped open as I scoffed in astonishment. I slammed both my hands down on the table that was placed on my thighs before. 

“So what? I was just some bet to you? I didn’t mean two fucks to you, huh? I should have known. You were too nice from the start. Fuck you. Gosh I didn’t know it was possible to lie in your trailer.” I said, adding a hint of sarcasm at the end. 

“Wait Quinn please calm down I can explain-”

“You already did. I’ve known enough.” I stood up from my seat and took a full ninety degree turn to find Jaemin right in front of me, looking towards Jisung with angered eyes. 

Jaemin rushed over to Jisung and grabbed him by his collar, lifting him up slightly from his seat. I tried pulling Jaemin away, only wanting to get away from Jisung but Jaemin pushed me back. “A bet? You played my best friend friend just for a bet to keep your pride? God you’re low.” Jaemin pushed Jisung back down on his seat violently. 

Jaemin leaned in, his hands firm on the table as Jisung backed himself away ever so slightly. 

“Stay the fuck away from Quinn here on out. You fucked up, big time. Don’t show up in front of us ever again. You don’t deserve her at all.” Jaemin gave Jisung a clear and taunted warning before grabbing me by the wrist and walking us away. 

Jaemin doesn’t say a word when Jaemin walked us back to our room, immediately closing the door in front of us. “He’s a dickhead for doing that to you.” He muttered and he quickly sat down on his bed. I walked over and sat on mine, heaving out a long sigh. “Are you gonna cry again?” I heard Jaemin ask. I shook my head.

“I’m done crying. I feel pissed. Can I somehow constantly slam his tongue on a car door?” Jaemin couldn’t help but laugh. “It’ll be more fun to slam his head against the wall.” He added. The two of us laughed but the room grew quiet quickly. 

“Wait isn’t our trailer suppose to show our true intentions we have with the person watching it? How did I miss such a huge thing?” I asked Jaemin. 

“I’ve heard a rumour of people altering their trailers. I never thought people actually do it.” Jaemin inhaled and exhaled sharply. 

“Fuck it. I just don’t want to see him anymore. End of year exams are coming. I can’t let shit like this get in the way.” I said with determination. Jaemin nodded. 

-

The end of the year soon came. Our results were handed out this week and we could finally have some break time for Christmas. Students were allowed to leave college and celebrate with their families. However, for me and Jaemin, we decided to stay together this Christmas, opting to video call our loved ones to keep in touch. 

“This place is so creepy with not many people here.” Jaemin spoke as we decided to walk around the college campus for the fun of it. 

I shoved my hands into my padded jacket, letting out a sigh as smoke came out of my mouth. It was very cold this winter, but it seemed that snow has yet to fall. “I’m so glad we’re done for this year.” I whispered.

“Two more years till we graduate.” I added, looking at the shops that were closed and noticed that only the vending machine was working. 

“Please don’t tell me-”

“Let’s go ghost hunting!” I laughed out loudly as I walked over to the vending machine. “Very funny, Jaemin.” I took out a one dollar coin from my wallet and placed in in the slot of the vending machine. Pressing on the drink I wanted, I waited for it to be dispensed. 

I soon heard the canned drink and pick it up from the bottom slot. I looked at Jaemin who was staring at my drink. I shoved it towards his chest. “Open it.” Jaemin smiled and cracked open the top, drinking down a few gulps before handing the drink back to me. 

“When do you think the snow is coming?” I asked Jaemin. I’ve always been fond of snow ever since I was little, playing in the snow by myself was what I did everyday. 

Jaemin only shrugged and looked up into the sky. I did the same as well. “I’ll pray that it’ll come soon for you.” 

I reached my hand out and ruffled his hair. “A thoughtful prince indeed.” I said with a subtle smile. 

“Oh wait! What happened with the girl you were talking to back then?” I asked as the thought suddenly popped up in my mind. In the midst of whatever was happening between Jisung and I as well as the exams, I completely forgot about it.

“Eh I don’t like her. She’s not like you.” Jaemin shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Your girlfriend isn’t suppose to be like me.” I commented. 

“They say your significant other should have the same qualities as your best friend so that you two can click immediately.” 

I shook my head. “Yeah, yeah.” I waved my hand in the air lazily. 

“Hey guys..” I suddenly heard. Jaemin and I turned around, taking in a deep breathe in unison. 

“Jisung.” Jaemin greeted with an uninterested look. Jisung bowed his head slightly at Jaemin before turning to me. “I thought you went out of college.” 

“Oh no my family’s busy this Christmas so I can’t visit them.” I simply nodded my head. “Besides the point so anyways, can I talk to you, alone?” I looked to Jaemin, somewhat wanting to ask for his approval. Jaemin glared at Jisung before letting out a quiet sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Go ahead.” Jaemin said with a tone of defeat. 

Jisung pulled me by my the edge of my padded jacket as Jaemin soon left my view. “What is it that you want, Jisung?” I finally asked. 

Jisung didn’t answer and only stared into my eyes. I raised an eyebrow. “If you aren’t going to say something-”

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you, Quinn. I have been wanting to talk to you but with exams and all I didn’t want to bother you.” I watched as he pursed his lips into a thin line. “So now that exams are over you came to bother me?” I asked with a hint of sarcasm. Jisung shook his head furiously. 

“Have you heard of the rumour about the first snowfall?” I sighed, shaking my head as I start to think about what he’s going on about. 

“They say...” Jisung started as he took out my hands from my pockets and holding them dearly in his hands. I looked up to look at Jisung but found that he was admiring my hands, gently brushing his thumb over the back of my hand. 

“They say that if you’re with the person you like in the first snowfall, it signified love and fate, symbolising that true love will blossom.”

 I bit my bottom lip as my mind slowly went back to the times I’ve spent with Jisung. It would be a understatement to say that I’ve been reminiscing my past when Jisung was a big part of my life. Although my mind back then was concentrated on the exams, Jisung has always been somehow hidden away and never forgotten in the fold of my thoughts. 

“I’ve heard of it.” I whispered, unable to meet Jisung’s eyes when he lifted his head up. 

Jisung took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry for what happened. At first, I only got into your life because of the bet. But I truly did fell in love with you the more I got to know you and spent time with you. And I still am. I’m still in love with you. It pained me everyday when you avoided me and hated my guts. I’m just sorry for everything.” Jisung confessed. I felt a lump in my throat as I couldn’t make up an answer to give right away. “S-so what are you going to do about it?” I asked.

Jisung slowly took a step closer, closing the gap between us as he leaned in towards my face, our noses barely touching and our lips so close. And then, it happened naturally, Jisung connected his lips with mine, pulling me into the softest kiss ever that was filled with passion and care. It took me awhile to process what was happening before moving my lips in sync with his and closing my eyes. 

As if this scene came out of a fairy tale, I felt something falling onto my head. I opened my eyes slightly as I continued to kiss Jisung, realising that snow has fallen onto us. The first snowfall.

Jisung pulled his lips away from mine as we both stared up into the sky, watching as the snow continued to fell. Jisung smiled softly as we both looked down to meet each other’s gaze. 

“I love you, Quinn. Please be mine.” Jisung whispered softly as he got close to lean his forehead against mine. I bite the side of my cheek as I looked into his eyes, taking in the moment of silence to admire the person I dearly missed. “Don’t make me regret it.” I whispered back, taking the initiative to place my lips on Jisung’s to once again feel his sincere love.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Chapter 14 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream?

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox)

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual assault

Important note: the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one.

Chapter fourteen 

~|Charlie Gillespie|~

Life is good on the other side of Hollywood. The song really does stick. Life with Emily has definitely changed me for the better. I feel like I’m soaring on clouds every time I’m around her or even think of her. And my songwriting has gotten better too. “Where have you been?” My mother’s bone-chilling angry voice greets me when I enter the kitchen. “You’ve been out nearly every night of the week, not returning until late.” This is not going to be a fun conversation. “I was rehearsing with the boys, ma,” I say as I grab a bottle of water from the fridge, hoping to escape this talking-to quickly. “Again? What about school, Charlie?!” “I did that before I left for rehearsals,” I lie. Why would anyone work for school when there are no tests this week? That’s just working for nothing. This whole school-thing is a waste of time when you think about it. I want to be a Rockstar, get Sunset Curve famous. “You don’t think I would actually believe that, right?!” Her voice rises with the second. “Believe what you want, mom. There’s nothing going on this week anyway.” I probably should not have said that because mom’s expression changes from angry to furious. “That’s no reason not to work for it, Charles Gillespie!” The full name takes me back to Emily calling me Charles and it’s enough for my brain to give my lips permission to curl up. “You think this is funny, do you?” The smile vanishes as soon as it came. “No, mom! But I got this, okay? This is my life and I’ve got control over it, okay? You have to let me live my life, mom!” The screaming match lures my father into the kitchen as well. “What’s going on here?” he asks, clearly annoyed we’d disturbed his favorite show. “Your son over here thinks he has control over his life and doesn’t need to work for school anymore,” mom explains, the volume of her voice goes down, but the anger’s still there. “I mean, he’s seventeen, honey…” At least dad understands me, “He’s going to learn how to live life by making mistakes, you got to let him make them.” “You’re seriously going to take his side right now?!” The volume raises again. “Mom! This has nothing to do with taking sides! If you didn’t breathe on my neck like you always do, you would know how amazing the band is doing and that I have an amazing girlfriend! But all you care about is controlling my life!” I freeze when I realize what I’d just yelled at my mother. “Just let me live!” “You’re seventeen, Charlie! You don’t know what you’re doing with your life!” At least she’s not reacting to my girlfriend-news I’d just blurted out to them. If she ever talks shit about Emily, I swear to God, it won’t be their finest day. “No, I don’t! But that’s normal, okay?! I want to figure out life by myself, with my band, with my girlfriend. So, stay out of it!” I push past her and dad, grab my backpack and leave the house again, cycling to Jeremy’s garage again. I know I’m always welcome to crash there after a fight with my parents. Owen and Jeremy are both still in the garage, cleaning up, chatting. When they see me, their grinning faces fade into worried glances. They already know what’s going on. I drop my backpack on the floor and plop down next to Owen onto the couch. “You okay, man?” Owen asks. “Yeah, just my parents being controlling again, you know?” He offers me a sympathetic smile. “Hey, Jere, do you mind me crashing here tonight?” “You can stay as long as you want,” he replies with a smile. “Thanks, man.” “I’m staying the night too,” Owen tells me, “Parents still aren’t talking to me.” “How long since you came out to them?” I can feel my heart breaking at the thought of Owen just being himself and completely being obliterated by his parents, the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. “About a year…” Heart shattered. “At least I still got Luka.” I smile as I think about Owen’s sister. In 6th grade, she used to babysit us, even though we thought we were old enough to stay home alone. But Luka actually was the best babysitter ever. And I can’t deny I had a little crush on her at one point. It did blow over when she ditched us one time to go on a date. Besides being the greatest babysitter ever, she’s also been a great sport in Owen’s coming out. She was the first one he told besides us. Not only that, she’s also the biggest Sunset Curve fan. “How is Luka?” I ask, which earns me a sharp glare from Owen. “I’m just curious.” “She’s navigating college, so home isn’t where I want to be at the moment.” “Right, must be tough for her too,” Jeremy chimes in. “Yeah, must be tough having your parents worry about your every move.” I note the sarcasm in his voice and offer him a sympathetic smile, hoping that’ll help somewhat. I also feel slightly attacked by his comment. “Hey, at least we’ve got each other,” I tell him, patting his shoulder.   “And us is all we need,” Owen agrees with a small smile shining through. “And Emily!” Jeremy’s mention of Emily simply makes me smile again. Even the mention of her name makes me smile. I guess that does show how whipped I am for this girl. I wish I could tell her though. “She’s amazing, isn’t she?” Both Owen and Jeremy nod their heads, agreeing with me. “You’re so in love with her, bro,” Owen says. “Have you taken her on a date yet?” Jeremy wants to know. “No, not really. Unless you count sorting invoices at the Music Store or secret make-out sessions on her balcony?” They now shake their heads in response. “Why don’t you take her out on a date? Cute little picknick? Movie?” Owen suggests. “Yeah, if you want, you can take her here, we’ll set up like a projector and a screen, decorate with Christmas lights, and buy some food.” I stare at Jeremy for a little longer than I’d like. Did that really come out of his mouth? That’s a decent idea for once. “I don’t know if she likes romantic gestures like that though?” I manage to bring out once I’ve recomposed myself. “What girl wouldn’t like watching a movie on a big screen with her boyfriend, eating food, surrounded by pretty lights?” Owen reasons. That’s a good point. “Will you guys help me set up though?” They nod in response, and we get to work straight away. Jeremy goes inside to grab the projector and a large white sheet we hang up in the garage while Owen and I go on the hunt for the Christmas lights. According to Jeremy, we’d find in the attic. “Have you told Emily about us yet?” Owen asks me when we’re in the attic by ourselves, searching for the box with the decorations. I look up at him for a second before turning to a cardboard box to my right. “Uhm, no… I’m not sure how to tell her I used to date my bandmate?” “Emily’s cool, man. Her favorite uncle was gay and now she lives with his husband and they both know I’m gay, but she never treated me any differently.” “Yeah, but isn’t there a difference between being friends with a gay person and dating a pansexual person?” Owen shrugs whilst fishing a bundle of fairy lights out of a box. “It’s both very queer. I’m sure she’d be cool with it.” “I’ll see what subjects we’ll talk about tomorrow. Might tell her if it comes up.” “Good call, man.” I take a few more bundles of string lights and join Owen downstairs. While Jeremy hangs the white sheet and installs the projector, Owen and I decorate the place with all the Christmas lights we found. Warm whites, cold whites, and colorful ones. It serves for a fairytale looking glow throughout the entire garage. “Why didn’t we do this earlier?” I ask, admiring our work. “It really does give it a more calming atmosphere, doesn’t it?” Jeremy agrees. “Okay, I set up the projector, you just got to plug in a laptop and you’re good to stream your favorite or most romantic movies.” I pat him on the back, offering him a thankful smile. “Thanks, Jere. This was an amazing idea.” “Emily’s going to love it,” says Owen whilst looking up at the lights surrounding us. “Let’s go to sleep now and after school tomorrow, we’ll go shopping for food and set it all up for both of you to enjoy.” Jeremy’s almost giddy with excitement. It really is adorable. Jeremy hands Owen and I a sleeping bag and takes one for himself too. The three of us are used to sleeping on the floor of the garage. Many nights were spent like this ever since Middle School whether it was for sleepovers or when either Owen or I had problems at home. Jeremy often asked us to come over if he’d had a bad day too. Just fun little sleepovers between three best buddies. And they really are the best.

“Won’t be at the Music Store tonight. Find me at Jeremy’s garage to find out why. Wear something comfortable x” I send Emily the text after school just before the boys and I go grocery shopping in Jeremy’s fridge. He did ask his mom to buy a few extra snacks and things, saying it was for rehearsals. I’m glad he didn’t tell her about Emily and me yet. “Okay, we’re all done here!” Jeremy exclaims excitedly, looking at the finished product. My heart is beating faster and faster, scared Emily won’t like it, scared she doesn’t feel the same. “Hey, guys!” Emily’s voice startles me, and all three of us turn around to see her enter the garage. “What’s going o—” she freezes in place, noticing the fairy lights and the big screen. “Wha—” She looks adorable with her eyes bulging out and her mouth agape. I’m frozen for a moment. My feet don’t want to move even when I tell them to. “Charlie said you guys never had a proper date,” Owen springs into action, stepping forward and taking Emily’s hand, “So, we kind of put something together for you guys.” He leads her towards me. I doubt she’s even listening to what Owen’s saying as she’s still gazing around in surprise. “Hope you guys enjoy!” The two dip out of the garage, leaving Emily and me by ourselves. I let her take in the sight for a moment before grabbing her hand and leading her towards the mountain of pillows and blankets. “Charlie…” she breathes out, “This is beautiful.” She sits down while I go to the laptop to pick out a movie, settling on Aladdin since she made a comment about it the other day. I then hand her a glass of orange juice and place the snack platter between us whilst sitting down. “I wanted to do something special for you,” I tell her and clink my glass against hers. “Do you like it?” She nods her head vigorously. “I love it!” She leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Who’s idea was it to do the cinema and the fairy lights?” “Surprisingly, Jeremy’s,” Emily’s eyes widen in surprise. “Yeah, I was shocked too.” “Such a surprising guy, that one.” I nod in agreement. “Let’s watch the movie, shall we?” Emily nods her head and we settle into the cushions. At first, we just sit shoulder to shoulder until she starts fidgeting. “Not comfortable yet?” “I can’t find the right way,” she chuckles, crossing her legs. “Come here,” I open one arm as I lean into the cushions behind me. Her cheeks flush pink as she leans in and rests her head on my shoulder. “Better?” I drop my arm around her shoulders, pressing her closer to me. “Much better,” she mumbles. I’m pretty sure she can hear my heart beating quicker, especially when she puts her arm across my stomach. “Can I confess something?” she asks around halfway into the movie. I look down at her, finding her staring at me, and nod. “I totally watched Aladdin with Uncle Mitch yesterday because it reminded me of you.” I can’t help the smile on my face at how endearing she sounds right now. “I picked it for today because it reminded me of you too.” Emily chuckles slightly and sits up straight to take another sip of her orange juice. “You want to watch something else?” She shakes her head. “Let’s just talk for a while?” I agree, but I can’t help to feel nervous. “I feel like I don’t know that much about you yet, but I somehow feel like I’ve known you for years, you know?” “Yeah, I totally feel the same,” I confess, “Don’t people play that Twenty-Questions game on the first date?” She takes a piece of cheese and pops it into her mouth. “Yeah,” she says after swallowing, “That’s a good idea! I’ll start!” She presses her lips together and looks up at the ceiling, seemingly thinking of a good question to ask. “A simple one; what’s your favorite color?” The color of your eyes. “Uhm… blue, I think? Yours?” “Yellow! It’s a happy color,” she gives me the cutest smile I ever did see. “Your turn!” “Uhm… Do you have siblings?” “Nope, only child over here.” I raise my hand for a high five, saying, “Same, girl!” and she slaps her hand one mine excitedly. “What’s one secret you’re still keeping from your mom?” Her question stumps me. Not that I don’t know the answer, because I do. The nerves just suddenly settle in. She’ll be cool. “That I dated Owen for about a month last year and that I’m pansexual.” Her eyebrows rise in surprise. “Pansexual is the attraction to people regardless of their gender, right? Just so I got it right.” “Yes, exactly,” I gaze at her, awaiting her response of running out of the garage and never coming back, but she stays put. “How was it dating Owen?” She asks instead. “Not great. I mean, Owen was a great guy and we had good moments together, his parents just… never really accepted his sexuality. They still don’t, so being with him was a little rough. We broke up because we realized it didn’t really fit, I guess? With his parents and the band and stuff…” “How did you start dating?” Our game of twenty questions has become a little one sided and about one topic in particular. “He’d just told his parents and they got into a fight, so he came here. Jeremy wasn’t here yet, but I was since I’d run away from my parents too after a fight. He had a panic attack, so to stop him from panicking, I kind of kissed him?” She smiles an endearing smile. “But it’s my turn to ask a question now!” “Right, sorry!” “If you ever got trapped on a deserted island with one friend, who would you choose?” I ask, hoping to be rid of all the questions about me and Owen. Though I love the fact she didn’t up and run. She stuck around and is actually interested to know more about my past relationships and my sexuality. She would only ask if interested. “Madi, probably. I—” she cuts herself off, her eyes widening as if she’d just remembered something. “Oh my God. Oh. My. God!” She scurries off the ground and grabs her backpack quickly. “Madi asked me to hang out tonight after my shift and I told her it was okay since we didn’t plan any band practices! I totally forgot! She’s going to kill me!” She fishes her phone out of her backpack and quickly types in a message while I get up from my spot. “I’m so sorry, Charlie!” She gives me an apologetic look. “It’s okay! We’ll do this over one day. Go to Madi!” A relieved smile cracks through right before she grabs my face and kisses me on the lips. Just a quick, passionate peck, and off she goes, leaving me a little woozy from the electricity that just zipped from her lips to mine and through my entire body. An amazing girl, that one.

Taglist: @parkeret​​ @lukeys-giggle​ @hannahhistorian92​ @gingerxarmy​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @lovesanimals​ @thequirkybookaholic​ @calamitykaty​ Lemme know if you want to be on my taglist for this story/any of my other works!

[gerberbabey]

debut | one | pope heyward w/ filipina!reader

the idea of the pogues in a high school setting is actual so fun so i kinda got carried away. i rlly hav a thing for writing the character pining for the reader rather than the other way around.

im basing this off of how my high school was cus idk shit about any other high schools lmao. also excuse volleyball terminology, i also very much miss volleyball

masterlist | previous | next

warnings: cursing, like terrible writing, just filler stuff

one - ♫ I THINK by Tyler, The Creator ♫

It was already two weeks into your senior year and you were settling in nicely. At two weeks people were still switching around their classes making sure they wouldn’t regret the class they decided to settle into. You were satisfied with your schedule considering you only had 3 actual academic classes. 

For your last year you’d opted out of taking one least year of math or another year of science. You were a good student sure but you’d never been the best at maths or sciences. To the Pogues’ surprise Pope had a similar schedule, yet the only reason he wasn’t packed with AP classes was because he was signed up for dual enrollment with online college courses. 

“Dual enrollment helps clear GEs better than AP classes. I’m not saying I wouldn’t pass those AP tests but this way is easier,” Pope explained to JJ as they walked through the crowded halls of Kildare County High. Kooks and Pogues alike littered the hallways, separated in their own little groups and yet standing amongst one another. 

“Whatever you say Pope,” JJ shook his head. He and Pope had one class together this year and that was Intro to Drawing in the very beginning of the day.  

“Heeeey guys,” Kie greeted as she walked up to them, hiking her bag up her shoulder. Kie had opted out of a backpack this last year and had instead started using a tote bag which was only filled with her laptop, a single notebook, her pencil case, and other small personal belongings that had nothing to do with school. 

“You guys going to the game on Friday?” Kie questioned and Pope cringed as JJ groaned. 

“No Kie, we are not going to the football game this Friday-”

“Guys come one, first game of the season! Plus the environmental club is planning to work snack bar. All the money goes toward the Turtle Habitats and the Save the Ocean Foundation,” Kie plead. 

“As much as I love the turtles Kie,” the group stopped at Pope’s locker, “Our football team is garbage. Why would I subject myself to that?” 

“Ok I know that, but don’t go for the team,” Kie raised her eyebrows at the two of them, “Go for the turtles!” 

JJ shot her an “eeeh” sort of look and Kie huffed in annoyance. 

“Come on, if you could give me a whole other way to fundraise then please do,” Kie crossed her arms as Pope shuffled around the belongings in his locker. 

“You need help fundraising Kie?” 

The three teens turned in the direction of your voice and you grinned as you walked up to them, your teammate and other best friend Isabelle walking with you. Isabelle was tall, one of the tallest girls at school actually, and though they saw you two together frequently it was still kind of amusing to see one of the tallest people they new walking around with one of the shortest people they knew. 

“Yeah well, my club’s planning to do the football game snack bar but nobody goes to the game’s anyway so,” Kie shrugged. 

“You could fundraise at the volleyball game,” Isabelle suggested giving Kie a smile. Kie smiled back sheepishly as she shifted on her spot. 

“Are you serious?” she questioned, turning to you and you shrugged. 

“Well, why not? Wouldn’t hurt to ask our coach,” you stated and Kie watched as Pope closed his locker and turned as your hands reached up to fix the collar of the button up he’d worn over his t-shirt. 

“We have a game tomorrow, and then there’s a workshop on Saturday. If your club wants to try and fundraise during those, we can try and figure something out,” Isabelle spoke to Kie and Kie flushed for a moment before she nodded frantically and began talking over a few ideas that were already coming to mind. 

“And people are guaranteed to show up to the girls volleyball games,” JJ wiggled his eyebrows at you and Pope and you laughed as Pope reached up to whack JJ in the chest. You couldn’t help but note how weird JJ looked without one of his usual hats on. You figured it was because the teachers lost their minds over hats being worn inside the building. 

“So (Y/N),” Pope started and you and JJ looked at him. 

“So Pope?” you smiled and missed how JJ glanced between the two of you with a knowing look in his eye. 

“Am I gonna see your dress anytime soon?” Pope questioned and you rolled your eyes. 

“Pope I literally already told you that no one’s allowed to see it until my party,” you leaned against Pope as he shook his head.

“But I’m not just anyone,” he insisted and you laughed as the first bell of the day rang overhead. 

“Ok whatever dude,” you shoved at Pope and he playfully slapped at your arms, “Me and Isa have to go, I’ll see you guys later,” you bid and you gave Pope a hug and a kiss on the cheek before you waved goodbye to JJ and Kie. The three of them watched you two join the sea of students and JJ turned to Kie and Pope.

“Was I seriously just fifth wheeling?” he scoffed and Pope glared at him as Kie flushed at his insinuation. 

__________

“Ok can I just get like...the color? Oh my-you never even told me the color!” Pope stared at you with wide eyes and you shook your head as you covered your mouth to try and keep your laugh from coming out. The two of you were in your second to last class of the day (You were both TA’s for the Intro to Film teacher and that usually meant goofing around in the back as the class watched movies all day), and Pope had not let the topic of your dress drop. 

In fact he had asked you about it for the past three weeks. 

“I can’t ruin it,” you whined and Pope leaned forward and groaned into your shoulder. 

“Telling me the color won’t ruin it,” he mumbled and you reached up to rub his back. 

“Yes it will,” you whispered back playfully and Pope groaned again as you laughed, “Oh by the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you...” 

Pope sat up and motioned for you to continue. 

“I don’t need to have an escort or anything, but I was actually wondering if you’d like to be my escort? For my party?” you weren’t sure why you were so nervous but you couldn’t get yourself to look Pope in the eye. You watched as your fingers played with the end of his shirt. 

“(Y/N).”

You looked up at Pope through your lashes and he flashed you a wide grin. 

“I would literally be honored,” Pope pulled you into a tight hug before pulling back, “Also I would’ve been extremely offended if you didn’t ask me and I probably would’ve just been your escort anyway.” 

You laughed and quickly brought a hand up to cover it up as a few of the students in the room shot the two of you looks. 

“I wouldn’t even go through with the party without you,” you told him softly and Pope could feel his heart skip a beat. Sometimes he wondered what it would’ve been like if he had gathered up the courage to ask you out ages ago. Despite the bullshit he told his friends he knew that he was in love with you. He would always love you, but being in love with you was different. It meant so much more. 

“So that means I get to know the color of your dress right?” Pope whispered and your mouth dropped open in shock as a wide grin stretched across his face. You tried to stop yourself from smiling as you reached up to whack him on the shoulder. 

“No!” you whisper-yelled. 

“But how am I gonna coordinate with you-” 

“Drop it Pope,” you laughed as the bell rang to indicate the end of class. 

________

“Where’s Kie?” John B questioned as JJ and Pope walked up to him. Today was the first girl’s volleyball game of the year and they had planned on going to watch together. They only really did it out of support toward you but that obviously didn’t stop JJ from his usual flirting. 

“Her club’s doing snack bar or something, to help fundraise for turtles. Did she not tell you?” Pope asked as they walked into the gym together. There was music playing through the gym’s speakers and there was chatter and noise from every point. There was the sound of shoes squeaking against the gym floor and the sounds of volleyballs coming into contact with the floor, hands, the walls, etc. 

“Nah, I didn’t see her that much yesterday or even today.” 

“Yeah, where the hell were you anyway?” JJ questioned as he led the way up the bleachers. It was definitely crowded but the boys weren’t at all surprised, Kildare County High’s volleyball team was actually good, meaning they usually garnered a large audience of spectators. 

“I was at the counselor’s like all day trying to figure out how I’m gonna get enough credits to graduate,” John B sighed and JJ and Pope cringed. After John B’s dad disappeared in their sophomore year, the boy had taken a half a step back from his academic responsibilities to try and keep himself together and afloat. Then after Big John’s body was found at the beginning of their Junior year, John B had considered dropping out entirely. He missed a majority of that school year as a result of his grief, deciding that he felt there was no point for school any longer.

Yet with the surprising help of Sheriff Peterkin he had pushed himself back into finishing school. The school understood of course, but that didn’t mean it didn’t take a toll on his academic record. 

“I’m sure it’ll work out in the end,” Pope encouraged and JJ nodded, before the blonde clapped and looked around, eager to get John B’s mind off the matter. 

“Oh shit look there’s Quincy,” JJ pointed out and the trio made their way over the where a large group of other Pogues who had gathered up on one side of the bleachers. While some schools may have had senior sections or something of the like, their gym was separated by Kooks, Pogues, parents, and then any visitors from the opposing school. 

“Hey JJ what’s up man?” 

JJ dapped up Quincy and the two of them began talking about something or another as John B and Pope were greeted by the people around them. 

“Yeah (Y/N)!!” someone near them yelled, “You dig those balls!” 

The three boys turned to the court and watched as you shook your head and laughed but kept your focus on the court. You squatted down low once more and they watched as you warmed up, passing dimes for your setter to set. 

“Woooh (Y/N)!” JJ’s hands were cupped around his mouth as he yelled.

“Yeeeahhh!” John B yelled and was followed up by the student section of their gym, Pogues and Kooks alike, cheering for their team despite it only being in warm ups. 

Soon enough people had settled into the bleachers as the Varsity game came to a start. (Pope, JJ, and John B had yelled their hearts out at your introduction - “Number 10, Libero: (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!”. And JJ had pointed out where Kie was bustling over at the snack bar, charming people into buying whatever she pointed out to them). 

“Oh shit hey, I’m gonna go say hi to (Y/N)’s parents. I totally forgot,” Pope told his friends and the two nodded, waving him off. Pope mumbled “excuse me’s” as he maneuvered his way by people’s legs and tried not to knee anybody in the back of the head. He jogged down the steps of the bleacher and made his way to where the parents were all situated, watching the game intently. There was a bout of cheering and Pope glanced over to the court to watch you jump up in excitement as your team scored another point. 

“Hey Pope!” Pope looked up at that and smiled as your mom waved him over to where she was sitting with your dad.

“Hi!” he greeted, and leaned over as your mom stretched her arms up to give him a hug in greeting. 

“Your parents not here tonight?” your dad questioned and Pope shook his head. 

“Nah they couldn’t leave the store. They really wanted to come though. (Y/N)’s last first game and all.” 

“Ah well that’s alright, plenty of games after this one.” 

“Of course. Uh Mrs. (Y/L/N) how’s the party planning?” your mom rolled her eyes though he could tell there was no ill intent. 

“Stressful. All (Y/N) focused on was her dress and her guest list. Finding a place to even have the party was almost impossible,” your mom explained and Pope chuckled. 

“(Y/N) won’t even let me know what the dress looks like,” Pope told them and your mom laughed as your dad nodded. 

“She’s hid it from her dad too.”

“Won’t be able to see it ‘till the party,” your dad shook his head at that as Pope let out a surprised chuckle. 

“You ate that (Y/N)!” someone yelled and Pope and your parents glanced over at the game and watched you get picked up by Isabelle as your team cheered over winning the first set of the match. 

“Well I’m gonna head back to my friends,” Pope pointed over to where John B and JJ were sitting, now with the addition of Kie. 

“Of course, of course. We’ll be seeing you at our house later?” your mom teased and Pope shrugged as he laughed. 

He waved your parents goodbye and by the time he’d gotten back to his friends Kildare was already ahead in the second set. 

“Not working anymore Kie?” Pope questioned as he took a seat beside her leaving her between him and JJ. 

“Yeah we made shifts so it’s Marco’s turn,” Kie explained pointing over to the snack bar. 

“Was our volleyball team always this good?” JJ questioned and Pope scoffed. 

“Yeah you were just too busy staring at their asses to watch them play,” he reached around Kie to shove at the blonde and JJ batted his arms away. 

“Hey, you can’t exactly blame me!” 

“Gross JJ,” Kie rolled her eyes and the boy looked at Kie with an offended look before turning to John B as if to say, ‘are you hearing this?’. John B only shook his head at his best friend. The 3 Pogues chuckled at JJ’s expense before they turned back to the game. It was your turn to serve now and as you waited for the referee to blow his whistle John B reached up and cupped his hands around his mouth. 

“Do it for Pope, (Y/N)!!” 

Pope whipped his head over to John B as the students around them “oooh’d!” some of them shoving at Pope playfully. From the court he missed how you glanced up at where they were sitting, a grin on your face as the referee finally blew the whistle to let you serve. 

“Shut up John B!” Pope hissed and the brunette only laughed it off as Kie mentioned how Pope should’ve been used to this by now and JJ yelled. 

“For Poooope!!!!” JJ yelled as you served the ball. 

The Kildare supporters all cheered as you aced your serve and Pope flushed in embarrassment as you turned and pointed to him, riling up the crowd of students as those closest to him shoved at him once more. 

“Yes King!” someone yelled at Pope and he couldn’t help but grin as he pointed back at you. 

[szopenhauer]

What was your last dream about? pamiętam tylko tyle, że M. powinna uważać na jej byłego

Would you like to build/design your own house? yes

Do you have a cherished childhood teddy bear? it’s not really a teddy but yeah

Are you psychic in any way? it seems

Are you a good dancer? meh

Are you a good singer? nooo

Are you a good cook? not the worst

Are you a good artist? maybe

Are you a good listener? try to be 

Are you a good public speaker? but don’t like to 

Are you a good babysitter? might be but hate that

Are you a good dresser? have my own style

Are you a good comedian? I’m funny :P

Are you a good cleaner? not good enough

Are you a good actor? I am

Are you a good writer? just like to write

Do you ever get chills & goosebumps when you listen to music? tell me about it...

What was the last song that had that effect on you? not sure which was last

Do you know what any of your siblings did over the weekend? I don’t care

Was the last book you read a hardback or paperback? paperback

What was the last thing you required the use of a spoon for? I was eating breakfast

The last time you ate something, was it in a bowl or on a plate? neither XD

Can you recall the last time you held hands with someone? I can

What was the last thing that made your heart melt? hmm...

Can you recall the last time you visited a bookshop? not the exact day but yep

Did you purchase anything? I don’t think so

Have you been wearing homemade masks or store-bought ones? both

Do you call yourself stupid a lot? sometimes

Are you listening to music right now? not rn

What is your newest favorite website? aliexpress?

Do you have a headache right now? had before today

What month is your birthday, and what month would u change it to if you could?  February and would like June, July or August that’s why I will spend my name day during summer instead of spring with my sister

Have you ever had to use an epi pen? not yet

Do you know the names of 3 of your neighbors? (list if you can): personal

What was the last grocery store you shopped at?

Do memories from your past come back to haunt you ? frequently

Have you ever seen an angel? or a ghost

Have you ever seen a demon? that time in a mirror?...

What color was the last sweatshirt you wore? grey

What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Vinnie’s tiny bird next to her signature?

Do you ever find yourself just writing/typing out your feelings? my tumblr is full of this shit

Whose house were you at last, besides your own? my current partner’s

Do you like your teeth? not really

Does piano music tend to calm you down? wouldn’t say so

What’s something you need to get done soon? ugh...

Is your best friend awake right now? they are

If I came to your house, could I find any kind of chocolate? ask my mother

Who was the last person to upload a picture with you in it? M.

Do you ever wear sleep masks when you sleep or shower caps when you shower? neither

Don’t tell me lies, so where’s your man? where’s Nat? XD

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? dad

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? yasss

Have you ever kissed under water? hell no

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with a M? hahaha

Would you kiss the last person who texted you, on the lips? done and I hopefully will

Camping with a ton of friends or hotel with a few friends? hotel 

Could you go the rest of your life without a cigarette? absolutely

Have you ever wanted something you couldn’t have? like health

How is your boyfriend/girlfriend doing and where are they now? she’s angry, has a flu and she’s working

What was the last topic you read about? DID?

Do you prefer Windows or Mac? Windows

What’s the best amusement park ride you’ve ever been on? I’m not a fan of rides tbh

Would you know how to read a house blueprint? partially?

Do you keep notes on your phone? What sort of things do you write? used to on my old cell

Do you remember much from high school? tought so

Has anyone ever come out to you? yup

What was the last album you listened to in full? Red army choir or Anastasis?

Do you have Disney+? we don’t

Have you ever sent a package or letter to a foreign country? postcards

How many jobs do you have on your resume? 0

Are you comfortable with leaving the house without any makeup on?: I don’t wear makeup

Do you have any expensive hobbies?: if I had money...

What length do you like to keep your nails at?: short

Have you ever felt physical pain in a dream?: but not as much as Nat 

Have you ever had Christmas carolers come to your house and sing for you?: when I was a kid

What’s your favorite Studio Ghibli film?: Porco Rosso?

What did you learn from your last failed relationship?: can we not talk about it...

What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done?: I’m a huge procrastinator

Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it?: collages

What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)?: period, being able to get pregnant and have female kinds of cancer etc.

What movie has the best special effects?: I’m into practical special effects more than cgi but... there’s too many to name

When did you last have a vision test?: ages ago 

[marril96]

The Distance Between Us

Chapter 5: Working Girls

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: The time has come for your first tutoring session.

Editor: @cherrypierowena

It was Friday when you next spoke to Rowena.

She seemed intent on avoiding you all week, and you happily returned the favor. The less you saw (and heard) of her, the easier it was to pretend you weren't stuck being tutored by her for the entirety of this semester.

What were you thinking, saying yes to that?

You were an idiot.

Just as the last bell sounded, and you were on your way out, happy to start your weekend, the devil herself had to — just had to — walk up to you and say, "Tomorrow. Quarter past three."

You blinked as if you'd just been maced. "What?"

"The tutoring," she said a tad slower, in an overly exaggerated tone, as if you were dumb. "That thing you're making me do? Remember?"

You rolled your eyes. "You agreed for the same reasons I did. I'm not making you do shit."

She returned the eyeroll, which somehow managed to look even more dramatic, more exaggerated. You wondered if it hurt to twist her eyes like that. And if it did — good.

"Whatever. You coming tomorrow or what?"

Did you even have a choice?

The sooner you got it done, the better.

"Where?"

"My house," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

It kind of was. The way Rowena was, she wouldn't be caught dead with you — alone — in public.

"Sure," you say.

"Need directions?" she asked.

It was your turn to give her the are-you-dumb look. "I've been there countless times."

"Just making sure," she said, shrugging nonchalantly. "Don't want you to get lost."

Olivette, who was standing beside her, snickered.

Rowena smirked.

Nice. Already off to a great start.

"Don't you worry about me, sweetheart," you said condescendingly. Two could play this game. "Just make sure you're home when I get there. Busy girl like you, don't want you to stand me up."

"I won't, darling," she replied in the same tone. "I cleared me schedule just for you."

"How sweet."

"That's me."

Yeah. Sweet as diabetes.

Olivette pulled her arm, heading for the exit.

"Don't be late," Rowena said over her shoulder as she followed her.

"I would never," you shouted after her.

After the way she acted, you were tempted to. Badly.

*****

It was three o'clock sharp when you showed up at the MacLeod residence. Much to your disappointment, Crowley was out, doing whatever it was that he did on his own. Probably something not quite legal. Or moral.

You didn't ask.

You didn't care.

Just before you left the house, he sent you a message giving you his honest, heartfelt condolences. How sweet of him.

You hated to admit it, but it was oddly comforting. If anyone knew what it was like to study with Rowena — to be around Rowena for more than a few minutes, all alone — it was him.

Rowena opened the door dressed in something sparkly you thought she only wore to school to stand out.

Apparently, it was her regular attire.

Who would have guessed?

"You're early," she said in greeting, seemingly surprised.

"Hello to you, too," you said.

She scoffed and moved aside to let you in, then closed the door behind you.

The MacLeod house was small but comfy. The kind of house that made you feel right at home as soon as you walked through the door. Aside from their mother's, the MacLeod kids had two other bedrooms; Rowena had her own, and Crowley and Gavin, their younger brother, shared theirs. Not much space for a four-member family, but they made it work.

"Mother's at work," Rowena said. "Fergus is out. It's just you and me. And Gavin."

"Cool," you said.

Their mother was always working. Two jobs, you thought Crowley once said. Bills needed to be paid, and kids were expensive.

"Gavin won't bother us," Rowena said.

"Whatever."

You didn't mind the kid. From what you saw of him, he was a lovely little boy. A complete contrast to his sister.

She took you to her room. It was small, but somehow felt like home. The bed was by the wall in the middle, surrounded by a desk with a laptop on top, a large closet, a dresser, and, much to your surprise, two big bookshelves filled to the brim with books, hardbacks and paperbacks alike, all in seemingly pristine condition.

You would never admit it out loud, but you were impressed. You'd expected something more… pink. And sparkly. Maybe a few pictures of loser kids like yourself hanging on the wall, with targets painted on their faces in sparkly pink gel pen. The popular girl stuff.

Maybe she had those in her closet.

"It's just a room," Rowena said when she noticed you staring, a touch of smugness, of pride, in her expression.

You blushed. "Your books…"

"Aye, I've my own wee library."

A bit more that wee, it was. There were so many books!

"Don't touch anything," she added. "You can look" — she didn't seem too thrilled with that idea, either, but at the same time, she liked to be the one to impress — "but don't touch. I don't want you to damage the books."

You had to roll your eyes. "That's my sole purpose in life — damaging your books."

"For all I know, I might be," she retorted. "You seem like the type."

You cocked up an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

"We wouldn't be in this mess if not for your damage."

Really?

Really?!

"You could've refused," you reminded her. "We both know why you didn't." Because little miss perfect wasn't so perfect after all. "Don't put your shitty record on me. I'm not the one bitching out the teachers."

At least when you did it, you did it out of earshot, around your friends.

If anything, Rowena could learn a thing or two from you.

Her cheeks flushed as red as her hair. "If you weren't such a failure, Mr. Shurley never would have blackmailed me!"

Maybe so.

But still…

"Maybe he doesn't like you."

God knew you didn't. Half the school didn't. Just because her group let her into their little circle didn't mean the entire popular scene liked her.

You'd heard the things they were saying about her behind her back. All the names they called her. The jokes they made about her.

Everyone knew the only reason she was popular, that she was someone, was that Olivette felt sorry for her. The same reason Lucifer started dating her Junior year.

Hell, you were pretty sure Rowena knew it, too. She couldn't not know.

But she put up with it. Because popularity was everything, even at the cost of dignity.

Being on top mattered more than anything. More than family. More than the people she'd trampled on her way there.

Despicable.

Rowena scoffed, looking at you as if you'd just suggested having live snails for dinner. "He loves me!"

You snorted. "Sure. Everyone loves you."

"People with taste do."

"Yeah, 'cause you're so lovable."

"Totally am."

As lovable as a splinter.

"Now, are you here to be rude or to learn?" she asked, changing the subject. "I've had to cancel plans to meet with you, you know. I don't want to waste my time."

You were the one being rude?

Typical Rowena.

"So sorry you can't make out with your asshole boyfriend for an extra hour this afternoon," you said sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes. "What I do with my time is none of your bloody business! But if you must know, I was supposed to go shopping with Olivette."

So she was in agreement with Lucifer being an asshole.

Interesting.

"My deepest apologies," you said mockingly, earning you another eyeroll.

Books, notebooks, and supplies were on the floor, on a neat pile beside the bed. You lowered your bag containing your own stuff beside them and sat down Indian style. Rowena joined you.

"When's your make up test?" she asked.

"Thursday," you said. You thought Ms. Hanscum would give you more time, but guess not. You had a tutor now. She expected results.

You expected another F.

Rowena sighed. "Well, let's see what it is you're struggling with."

How about everything? you thought sourly.

"This was in the test," she said, opening the textbook and pointing a perfectly manicured fingernail at the pages in question. "What exactly is it you don't get?"

You slid the book over to you, scanned the pages meticulously. So many numbers and formulas. Odd formations of numbers and letters that made no sense. Solved example problems that looked as strange as a foreign language. Questions you didn't — couldn't — understand, let alone solve.

You blushed as if caught doing something awkward.

This was embarrassing.

"Everything," you mumbled under your breath.

Rowena frowned, confused, curious. "What?"

You swallowed. Breathed in deep and hard for courage. "I said everything!" She blinked. You sighed. "None of this makes sense to me. Might as well show me hieroglyphs. I'll understand as much."

As if it wasn't embarrassing enough that a mean girl like her had to tutor you, you had to admit to your ignorance out loud.

This was fine, you told yourself. Totally fine. If she laughed at you, if she told her friends what a complete and utter idiot you were, so what? Wouldn't be the first time you were made fun of.

You could handle a bit of bullying.

You'd handled it before.

Go at it, Rowena, you thought. Do your worst!

Instead, her hard expression softened. No trace of a smile lingered on her mouth. No teasing glint in her eyes.

She looked… concerned.

What was going on?

"You really understand nothing?" she asked. Her tone was genuine, no mockery in sight.

"Yup," you said timidly, face falling to the open book between the two of you.

"Why didn't you ask Ms. Hanscum to explain?"

What was the point? You still wouldn't get it. Also…

"So you and your friends can laugh at me?"

Rowena looked appalled. "I wouldn't laugh at you."

"Sure you wouldn't." Just like she hadn't looked around at people who'd failed with a smug look on her face. Just like she hadn't stood aside as her friends teased and bullied and mocked people, and laughed along with them.

She was about to respond, but shut her mouth just in time. Good. You weren't in the mood for excuses and lies.

"Why don't we start with the first lesson?" she asked, changing the subject back to the topic at hand. "If you get a hang of that one, the other two will be easier to comprehend."

"Sure," you replied. You weren't expecting much; if Ms. Hanscum, who'd spent years earning her degree, couldn't teach you, you doubted a mere high school girl could.

Still, it was worth a try.

You could use the extra credit, and plus, you'd promised Sam you'd cooperate. Rowena had apparently told him she had no patience for slackers. You didn't particularly care what she thought, but at the very least, you could prove her wrong. You could work hard and do your best. Make her earn her extra credit and clean record.

"Okay, so you see this problem?" Rowena asked, pointing to a set of numbers she'd written down on a piece of paper.

"Yeah."

You wished you didn't.

You had a feeling these numbers would show up in your dreams tonight. And every night after that.

Math was a bitch.

"Do you know how we got 3?"

You shrugged. "Nope."

She might as well have asked you to translate lettering from ancient artifacts.

Rowena sighed. Not quite happy, but not exasperated, either. "Let's look at it differently. What's something you like?" She looked around, lost in thought. "Money?"

"Sure."

Everyone liked money, you supposed.

She grinned. "Great!"

Was that genuine joy on her face?

"Say you have one hundred dollars. I borrow you twenty. Sam borrows you five. You want to buy a… DVD."

That was one expensive DVD.

"What kind?" you asked.

She frowned. "What?"

"What kind of DVD? Like, which movie?"

"Gone with the Wind?" she suggested.

You made a face. "I'd never buy that! Especially not for that much money."

"It's a bloody classic!" she exclaimed, outraged.

Well.

Somebody loved old movies.

"Don't care," you said. "It's old, needlessly long, boring, and, uh, did I mention old?"

Rowena looked as if you'd just admitted to murdering her entire family in cold blood.

"Make it Mean Girls. It's symbolic, at least."

She scowled. "Fine. You want to buy Mean Girls."

"Perfect," you said with a sugary-sweet, diabetes-inducing smile on your mouth.

She rolled her eyes dramatically. Her favorite thing to do, it seemed. "You get to the store, and you find out it's on sale."

"I love sales!"

"Everybody loves sales! Anyway, the DVD you want…"

She went on a long, complicated explanation of prices, tax, sales, calculations, and formulas. At first none of it made sense, just as it hadn't back in Ms. Hanscum's class. But the more she explained, the more details she provided to the imaginary scenario with money and DVDs, it started to settle in.

It took a good ten minutes, but by the time she was done, you understood the problem.

And when she gave you a few problems she'd made up herself to solve, same structure with different numbers, you did it.

Correctly.

Soon the two of you moved on to other lessons. Rowena was surprisingly patient. You expected her to scream and shout and call you names. Instead, she explained everything thoroughly, five times if she had to. She didn't talk down to you. Didn't make you feel dumb for not knowing things that came naturally to her. Didn't rush you or chastise you for taking too long to solve the problems she'd given you.

She spoke softly and kindly, and gave you time to think solutions through.

She was, dare you say, better than Ms. Hanscum herself.

"I think that's about enough for today," Rowena said.

You looked at your phone, eyes going wide at seeing the time.

Two hours had gone by in a flash.

"Yeah," you agreed. "That was way too much math for one day."

Rowena giggled.

It was cute, you found yourself thinking. A strangely cute little sound.

"Would you like to come over tomorrow?"

You blinked. "To study?"

"What else?"

"Isn't that a bit… soon?"

"Your make up test is Thursday, right? It's better to prepare really well." She shrugged. "Not saying you have to. It's just a suggestion."

You didn't want to.

You never wanted to see these numbers — any numbers — again.

You especially didn't want to see them that soon.

But…

Rowena was right. The more you prepared, the more you studied, the better.

It wasn't like you had anything planned, anyway. Sunday was a boring day.

"Okay," you said after a moment of thinking it through. "Same time?"

"Aye."

"It's a deal, then."

"Don't be late."

"I'll be here at three again. Three fifteen sounds a bit weird, to be honest."

She made no response to that. Merely shrugged as if it didn't bother her. "Says you."

"I'll be going, then," you said. "Say hi to Crowley for me?"

"Whatever," she replied, annoyed.

You took that as a yes.

The first session went rather well. You hadn't tried to kill each other and you'd managed to learn a thing or two.

Maybe having Rowena MacLeod as a tutor wasn't so bad after all.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @gaysnakess @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @melisandre02 @a-queen-and-her-throne

[lightsburnbrite]

The Devil is in the Details: Part 7

Karina sat in the chair and waited, legs crossed at the knee with one foot bouncing impatiently. Glancing out the window, she was relieved that she decided to take the rest of the afternoon off instead of just slipping away on her lunch break. The sky was absolutely clear and it was relatively warm for mid-January and Karina wanted nothing more than to spend the afternoon outside with Leon and Elsa.

“Karina?”

She looked up to see her doctor standing in the doorway. “Sorry to keep you waiting, my nurse had to leave so I’ve been a bit behind. Come on back.”

“Now, what brings you in today?”

Before beginning to answer, Karina went over what she wanted to say in her head. “Well, it was at my husband’s suggestion but I guess it’s mainly because I keep getting bruises and I don’t always realize it.”

“Ok,” She nodded. “Any other symptoms? Fatigue or dizziness?”

Karina nodded. “Um, yeah. I’ve definitely been feeling drained and I get lightheaded.”

“Is there a possibility you could be pregnant?”

This time she shook her head. “I’m religious about my birth control. I still have my implant.”

“I’m sure you are aware but no form of contraceptive 100% effective and if you are having sex and not using a condom as well there is a minute chance. I’m going to do some bloodwork because I’m leaning towards anemia as a diagnosis but sometimes women who are pregnant also become anemic due to iron deficiency.”

While she was hoping for an answer that day, Karina was sent home with the promise of results in one to two days. As soon as she made it inside, any ambition of doing something went out the window as she plopped herself down on the sofa and fell asleep almost immediately.

Leon tried his best not to let his concern show too much but he was obviously worried about Karina. He didn’t know what might be wrong but she didn’t even look like herself lately. When he made it home, she and Elsa were camped out on the sofa, Karina wrapped in a blanket.

Leaning over the sofa, Leon draped his arm around Karina’s neck while he kissed her cheek. “How’s my Maus been today?”

“Fine.” She put her hand over Leon’s arm, hoping he’d join her. “The doctor didn’t have an answer for me today, she took some blood but she said it’s probable that I’m anemic. She also said that I could be anemic because I may be pregnant.”

“Pregnant?” Leon’s eyes widened as he sat down on the sofa. “Wow…that’s…wow.”

Karina nodded but wouldn’t look at Leon. “She’s going to call me with the results hopefully tomorrow.”

“I…I don’t know what to say, Maus.” Leon rested his hand on Karina’s thigh and to his surprise, he felt her lean into him.

She rested her head against his shoulder and shrugged. “It’s ok. I don’t know what to say either.”

After a long silence, Leon kissed Karina’s temple before he pulled her on to his lap and squeezed her tightly. “I, um, I was definitely worried that it might be cancer or something.”

“Can we just…I don’t really want to talk about this until I know for sure what’s going on. Is that ok?” Karina let out a great sigh but let herself settle, there on Leon’s lap.

“Yeah. Absolutely.” After putting his feet up on the coffee table, he tried to push all thoughts out of his mind. “Whatever you want to do.”

Leon found that he was walking on eggshells for the rest of the evening. They ordered takeout even though Leon offered to fix dinner and Karina took Elsa out for her evening walk by herself. When they went to bed, Leon expected to be given the cold shoulder so he was relieved when Karina nestled in close to him. Her silence over breakfast wasn’t surprising to him, but Leon needed to remind himself not to take it personally. Instead, he kissed her goodbye like he normally did and told her that he loved her.

“Hey,” Leon sat down next to Joshua in the dressing room. “What did you think of kids before you guys found out Lina was pregnant?”

When Joshua looked at him like he had three heads, Leon decided to clarify. “Did you know you wanted to be a father or was it like, oh shit, I’m going to be a parent.”

“Is Karina pregnant?” Joshua got a big grin on his face. “Does Lina know yet, cause she’s gonna be pissed if I found out first.”  

“She’s not pregnant.” Leon felt like he was shouting to calm Joshua down. “It’s just like, I don’t want to think about kids at all and I didn’t know if that was normal or what.”

With a shrug, Joshua sat down and kicked his shoes off. “Dunno. Does Karina want kids?”

“We haven’t really talked about it.” Leon felt stupid saying out loud that he and his wife hadn’t discussed the idea of children before they were married.

“Yeah, I mean, do that first I guess.” Joshua then shouted across the room to Serge and that when Leon stopped paying attention. He decided that no matter what the doctor said, it would be a good idea to bring the ‘family thing’ up with Karina.

After Leon told her that Daniel insinuated they were close, Karina decided to stop even pretending to be nice to him. At this point, she didn’t care if he or anyone else realized she couldn’t stand him.

“Hey, Karina!” Daniel approached her desk on his way to the staff kitchen. “You got your hair cut, it looks great.”

Instead of looking at him, she decided to ever so slightly adjust the picture of Leon and Elsa that now sat proudly atop her desk. “Thank you.”

“You could have just told me you were married.” Daniel cleared his throat as if readying himself for a discussion. “I would have let it go if I had known.”

Only now did Karina turn to address him. “Let what go? Me being married has nothing to do with the fact that I have no interest in getting to know you beyond work. It shouldn’t matter when I told you I wasn’t interested that should have been the end of it.”

“Well, obviously I can’t compete with a professional football player-”

“I’ve known Leon since I was eight years old and have been in love with him since I was 16, his career has nothing to do with why I am married to him.” Karina fired back and immediately stood. “I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop bringing up my personal life.”

Following their confrontation, Karina threw herself into her work for the day and as soon as she had checked off the last item on her list, she left.

When she heard the voicemail from her doctor confirming that her iron-deficient anemia was not due to pregnancy and that she should come in for further tests, Karina thought she would be relieved but instead, she found herself worrying about how Leon would react.

Karina decided to take a few things home to work on, in case she needed a distraction. Sitting down at the table, she opened her laptop with the intention of doing some research but more often than not she just ended up staring off into space.

“There you are.”

She snapped to attention when she heard Leon’s voice. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, what did you say?”

“Nothing, Mausi. I was just wondering where you were.” Leon leaned against the door frame, head tilted slightly. “You ok?”

With a sigh, she closed her eyes before opening them again. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, of course.” He walked closer, sensing the start of a conversation.

Karina waited until Leon was next to her, leaning against the desk. “Why did you ask me to marry you?”

Leon paused for a moment, initially wondering why she had asked him that. When he realized that wasn’t going to be an easily answered question, Leon knew the best thing was going to be straight forward in his response. “I realized that I didn’t want to think about my life without you in it.”

“When I told you I might be pregnant,” She looked at him now and held his gaze. “What was your initial reaction?”

Hesitating for a moment, Leon gave a slight nod as if he was acknowledging she expected complete honesty. “Um…scared and whatever the opposite of excited and happy would be.”

Karina looked at Leon and let a silence develop before she finally let go of the tension she held in her shoulders. “I’m not.”

“I was not at all ready to be a father.” Leon cleared his throat. “I’m not disappointed that you’re not pregnant.”

Karina smiled but immediately started crying. Leon moved closed and encouraged Karina to stand so that he could embrace her.

“Mausi,” Leon gave her a little squeeze as he brushed her hair aside. “You’ve got to talk to me and tell me what’s going on. What are you thinking?”

After a few minutes, Karina gathered herself and nodded her head briefly. “I don’t want to be a mother. I don’t want kids, at all. I’m terrified that you’re going to leave me because of that.”

“Karina, I’m not leaving you.” Leon wiped away a few tears with the pad of his thumb before resting both hands on her cheeks, kissing her forehead. “If you don’t want kids, we’re not having kids.”

Despite herself, Karina yawned. “How can you say that with such certainty? Are you ok with that?”

“I don’t know, it’s not something that I really feel strongly about one way or another.” With a shrug, Leon scratched his eyebrow. “I just want to be with you. That’s how I can be certain.”

“I don’t deserve you.” Karina tipped her body forward, resting her head against Leon’s collarbone. “You but up with so much of my bullshit.”

He shook his head as he wrapped his arm around her waist. “It’s not bullshit, it’s a legitimate discussion that we probably should have had before we got married.”

Finally, Karina laughed at herself. “Yeah, well, I’m sorry. I know I can be exhausting with my constant need for reassurance and you are incredibly patient with me.”

“Ok, not to change the subject but what is wrong with you?” Leon felt the need to clarify himself when he realized it sounded more like he was calling Karina crazy. “Are you anemic or is it something else?”

Karina nodded. “I’m supposed to go back for more diagnostic tests to see why but it is iron-deficient anemia. That’s why I’ve been so tired and dizzy and why I bruise when you look at me longer than a glance.”

“I’m sorry.” Leon smiled. “I can’t help myself sometimes.”

When Karina let out a little laugh, Leon felt himself relax as well. Moving his arms up to her shoulders, he gave her another squeeze before he rested his head on hers. “So what needs to happen to fix this?”

“An iron supplement and making sure I eat enough iron-rich foods, apparently.” Karina slipped her hand under them hemline of Leon’s shirt and rubbed his back. “If that doesn’t work then I don’t know, I guess we’ll find out.”

“Do you think you might be working too much? Between the museum and the gallery, maybe you could cut back some.” Closing his eyes, Leon sighed as Karina knew exactly how to lull him into a state of instant relaxation.

When Karina stopped, Leon opened his eyes in time to see her shake her head. “I’m not doing any more than I had been and I only plan on doing the gallery for a year so it’s fine.”

“I’m just suggesting-”

Karina cleared her throat and looked Leon square in the eye which prompted him to nod. “Yep, ok.”

She responded by beaming a smile at him. “You know I appreciate and value your advice-”

“But sometimes I miss the mark.” Leon offered an apologetic shrug.

This time, she shook her head. “No, it’s not missing the mark it’s just I have other ideas sometimes. Just like you.”

“I don’t know, Mausi.” He kissed her forehead again with a smile. “I think we make a pretty good team.”

Karina rested her head against his shoulder again. “I think you’re right, sir.”  

[purplesurveys]

604

1.) What was the last strong scent you smelled? Kate poured some gin in her cup last night and the smell from the bottle wafted towards my nose. Shit staaaaaaaaank 2.) When was the last time you changed your outfit? 10 minutes ago – I just took a shower. 3.) What did you buy the last time you went shopping for new clothes? I got this cute two-piece ensemble of a bralette top and high-waisted pants. 4.) What is your favorite meal of the day? Dinner. 5.) Do you typically eat breakfast or skip it? I usually kinda have to skip it regardless if I’m full or downright starving. We have godawful traffic and I’d rather make it to school on time than spending +1.5 hours on the road just because I decided to have breakfast at home for 10 minutes.

6.) What was the last thing you took a picture of? I took a selfie of me cooking corned beef yesterday because it was the first time I ever made it hahahaha. 7.) Do you have a collection of anything? Not really. I always say I collect receipts from dates but I honestly haven’t done that or been thorough with my collection for like a year now. 8.) What was the last thing you threw away? My dog did some number 2′s so I cleaned up his mess. 9.) What is the cause of your current emotional state? I’m feeling waves of shame because I’ve already misplaced Gabie’s early Christmas gift to me (Apple earpods that I only got a month ago). Couple that with my usual seasonal Christmas depression, and you would know I’m not doing so well. 10.) What were the last plans you made? How about cancelled? Jum, Aya, Kate and I were making plans to party for New Year’s when I drove them to their dropoff point last night. I don’t think I’ve cancelled any plans, at least in a while. 11.) How did you discover your favorite band? It’s from this girl who discovered them while we were in Grade 4. 12.) Does the weather affect your mood? If so, in what ways? Yeah, I get lethargic being outside when it’s humid. I work okay and am generally in a better mood if it’s chillier or if it’s raining out. 13.) When are you most likely to be bored? If I’m outside and alone. I tried eating dinner alone twice so I can understand what other people mean whenever they say how spoiling yourself while alone is good self-care, but I hated every minute of being by myself cos I just found it boring and a bit sad. 14.) What was the last big decision you made? Haven’t made any big ones in a while. 15.) Where was the last place you traveled to, and what did you do while there? The last far place I drove to was a small community in Bulacan. We held a journalism workshop for their members. 16.) What is your favorite thing to go shopping for? Clothes. <– Yep. 17.) How organized are you? I’ve said this already but I’m messy-organized. My working space is usually a mess, but I know where everything is. I love making to-do lists, categories, tables, and charts though so maybe I lean towards being organized. 18.) What were the positives and negatives of your last week? Huge positive was turning in my last requirement and thus ending my semester; another positive was it was my org’s initiation rites for our newest batch of members AND our Christmas party last weekend. Shittiest negative was misplacing a very valuable gift from Gabie lately. 19.) If applicable, how did you decide what you wanted to study in college/university? I’ve always been good at and loved writing, telling stories, and watching investigative documentaries. I thought I was going to like journalism, but it turns out I’m much more comfortable just reading the news and being on the audience side when I watch investigative joun stuff. 20.) What was the last thing you received in the mail? My online order of three necklaces for Gab. 21.) What is one of your wildest dreams or ambitions? To end up working for WWE, my absolute dream company. 22.) When was the last time you performed in front of a group of people? My org was a participant in last school year’s freshman orientation party and we had to perform this cheesy choreography thing for them (along with other partner orgs) by the end of the day. 23.) Who was the last person to upset you? How about the last person to cheer you up? The answer to the first question is me. As for the second one, it has to be my friends last night. We had our Christmas party and it was nice to be with them where we weren’t fixated on our laptops because we’re working. 24.) Is there anything or anyone you’re trying to get over or let go of? Yes. 25.) What was the subject of your last phone conversation? I just told Gab I was so sorry and that I am very disappointed in and hating myself at the moment and hung up. 26.) What are your plans for tomorrow? How about the weekend? If I remember correctly, we have a test photoshoot with our chosen photo studio for our grad shoot tomorrow but nothing’s been said about it lately so I don’t actually know if that would push through. If it’s a go, I guess I’ll have to go to that. 27.) When was the last time you were sick? Three years ago. 28.) How close do you have to be with someone before you’ll consider them a friend? I dunno, they just shouldn’t annoy me lmao. 29.) What did the last jacket you wore look like? It’s dirty white and it’s got some Japanese print on the left side. 30.) Name five things you can grab from where you’re sitting. A pair of scissors, the keys for our family car, a jar of peanut butter, our dining table decor, and my shoulder bag.

[scribblescrabblebabble]

RoyEd Week 2k19 Day 2!

Title: Seven(?) Days

Rating: T+

Relationships: Roy Mustang/ Edward Elric

Chapter: Day 2- Colorless (Photographers/ wartime Au)

Cross- Posted on AO3 and Fanfic.net links- Fanfic.net   AO3

Best quality reading will be through the links, not on Tumblr itself because I’m too lazy to do italics and shit right now. For @royedweek2019 ‘s RoyEd Week!

......................................................................................................................

Ed sighed in frustration, "Okay, which of you can tell me a single technical aspect of this photo?" He clicked to another picture on the Smartboard, seemingly the hundredth that period. His students' last assignment had gone so poorly he felt that they all needed a class-long review before he could trust them with another.

'11th grade my ass.' He internally seethed. At least his punishment was working- they all looked as miserable as he felt.

His question was met with silence, and Ed wanted to be allowed to punch school property, "Tell me or you all fail the project."

Half of the class readily shouted, "Rule of thirds!" Whilst others guessed very valiantly.

"Good. This one?" He clicked and was met with several "umm"s, but no real answers. Even Chelsea Jones, his star pupil, looked glassy-eyed with boredom! And her project had actually been okay! Apparently, none of these kids were afraid of an F in Photography.

He decided to be generous with this one, as it was a trickier piece, "I see a good use of texture and natural framing with the branches and the model, yeah?"

The class agreed unenthusiastically.

"Listen, if you guys didn't want this, you should have given half of a damn about your work! I know most of you just want the art credit, but you actually have to pass the class to receive the credit, you know.

A few weak, "Yes Sir"s, and Ed forged ahead.

He clicked to the next piece, and almost didn't hear the varied shouts of "diagonal lines" and "shallow depth of field", as the photo in question caught Ed off guard.

It was one of Roy's photos.

An older one, back when he was journaling some strange commune in the Eastern region of Amestris.

Ed must have been silent for longer than he'd have liked, as Ella Swindell in the back of the classroom tentatively asked, "Mr. Elric?"

He snapped his attention back to his class and coughed, "Yes, good answers. Another good element here is the choice of black and white. In this scenario, it really adds some good drama to the piece."

Black and White photography was a favorite of Roy's. Not only because of its homage to printed papers but because of his ever-present flair for the dramatic. Roy left for a month on that job, and right after his return he'd proposed to Ed. At the time it had been their longest work-related time apart. How long had it been since he'd seen Roy? Five months? Or had half a year really already passed? Would he see-

Ed stopped his train of thought right there, violently jabbing his trackpad to move the PowerPoint along. To Ed's dismay, it was another of his husband's works taken of their late cat, kindly named Pissface. This particular shot had been on their cat's supposed birthday, and she wore a little birthday hat and a confused expression.

Roy had cried when Pissface died. She was old, but it had still seemed too sudden the morning they found her. Ed had cried watching Roy cry, and it was all just a big mess of tears. Al had even teared up audibly over the phone when Ed broke the sad news. It was an all-over tear-filled day. If Roy died, Ed didn't know what…

'Nope, stop it!' Ed willed his mind away from death, 'He hasn't called because there is a fucking war falling out around him, idiot brain!'

A few students "aww"ed at Pissface's cuteness, and others scanned the photo quickly for an answer to their teacher's impending question. Ed decided to throw them a curveball, "Improve this photo for me. Tell me where it falls short."

One kid, Ed thought Jason Matthews, but he wasn't paying much attention, suggested, "Maybe make the depth of field shallower so that the cat was more in focus?"

Ed hummed in thought and let a few more students ramble out some stunted ideas. He clicked to the final slide as the classroom door behind him opened. Assuming this to be Mordecai Fitzgerald, who had been out of class finishing a test, as per the teacher's email, Ed didn't bother with a glance.

He droned, "take a seat and don't be a nuisance." And to all, he said, "Well, give me some ways to improve this one!"

They continued, embarrassed silence would have sent Ed up a wall, had a noticeably deep, very Roy voice not interjected, "You could make it black and white. It would take away from the busy background and add a nice bit of drama to the subject.

He whipped his head around to meet the merrily amused gaze of his husband. As per Ed's command upon entering the classroom, Roy had taken a seat in a further back desk. Several students looked between him and their shocked teacher confusedly.

Ed smiled brightly. "What did I say about being a nuisance, you ass!" His reprimand meant little, as he had already stood and hastened to his husband's side. He only just remembered not to pounce him in front of the dozen seventeen-year-olds in the room, so he settled on a tight embrace and a regrettably chaste kiss. The class murmured, and a few let out joking "oooooo"s.

Ed, still with Roy's arm around his middle, turned to his class to snap, "Shut it!" After a short admonishing look from his husband, Ed sighed, "Class, this is Roy, a photojournalist. He's been out of the country for a while doing work journaling the war effort up North."

Eric Headley, the son-of-a-bitch, called out, "D'ya kiss a lot of photojournalists, Mr. Elric?"

"Only the one I'm married to, Eric. Now, everyone, go fix your pathetic excuses of projects until the bell rings. And if I see a phone, we all get to stay in class for fifteen extra minutes after the bell, got it?"

The students, now far more interested in their teacher and his husband than their work, reluctantly slouched to their respective computers to work the class away, keeping a curious eye on the two men now talking quietly together behind Mr. Elric's desk, wide smiles on both of their faces. If Ed discreetly rubbed away some water building in his eye, nobody commented.

Back at home, after their kisses had turned far less chaste and after Roy had barely had the time to set his luggage down properly before Ed practically attacked him, they lay in their bed together, Ed's head on Roy's chest and Roy's laptop on his stomach, clicking through many photographs detailing his journeys with the war effort.

"NatGeo's gonna go fucking ballistic over that one." Ed commented on the current picture on display of a soldier playing some kind of ball game with some civilian children.

Roy laughed, the sound a deep rumble to Ed, pressed against the other man as he was, "Just you wait till I get to the shoot of these kind, elderly weaving-women. It's got dusty lighting and everything."

Ed hummed, "Perfect. I'll have to show 'em to my class the next time I need to re-teach them shit."

"I'm honored my work'll be put to such good use. Did they take well to my others?"

Ed leaned his head back to catch Roy's amused gaze, "I knew you added those! Last time I share a PowerPoint with you."

The photojournalist grinned, "I wanted to give them something other than Ansel Adams to critique."

"Hey, I had more than just Ansel on there! I wouldn't want to make it too easy for them."

Roy smiled and lifted his hand from the trackpad of the laptop to stroke Ed's loose hair, "Of course not."

Before Ed could pick up Roy's job of clicking through the photos, the hand left his hair and closed the laptop. The blonde whines as Roy turned away to set the computer over the side of the bed, "I wanted to see the weaving women!"

Roy turned back, and Ed latched back onto his chest to hear the rumble of his light laughter her again, "We have all the time in the world tomorrow to look at the rest. Let's get some sleep, love."

Ed grumbled about the pet name but settled into Roy's side all the same, not about to let a half year's worth of waiting go to waste.

They slept, and if Ed gripped his husband a little tighter in his sleep, well, Roy definitely wasn't complaining.

~End~

[buscaosotroarbol]

I saw a Reddit thread of teachers sharing fucked up stuff they had learned about kids

And it was full of awful stories about things that should never happen to kids and I felt so glad that, in my short experience, I hadn't encountered anything like that. But it also got me thinking about how much "small" stuff that makes up a big chunk of the base of the piramid I mentally call "EVERYTHING FUCKED UP WITH THE SYSTEM", will never attract attention, or make sentational news while it still manages to fuck up the lives of tons of kids.

Last year I worked on the afternoons on a (I don't know how to say it in English) kind of after-school academy (?) to pay for my degree. Kids went there because they were lagging behind, because of bad behaviour, or they were doing fine but their parents were working. My job was helping them with humanities related subjects. I had two brothers in different classes, and I was warned about the older one (11yo, we'll call him Mike) because he was supposed to be real trouble, academically useless, and even violent. The truth was both kids displayed similar attitudes, which were considered cute in the little brother, while all the staff had come to an agreement that Mike was evil incarnate or something.

Sure enough, he tried to troll me from the begining, lied about homework and tests, refused to work,... I humoured him when he lied or said things to try to shock me, if he said "I can't work because I forgot my English book" I'd be like "oh what a TRAGEDY, but don't worry Mike I'll print out a hand out with exercises for you I literally have 20 English textbooks here" and he'd go "oh woah Miss you're not gonna believe this I just found my book" and I'd be like "spooky". I tried to work as much as possible with him (whithout ignoring the other kids, which, wasn't always easy by the way). He started to behave a lot better in my classes, put effort in his homework... I realized he was actually pretty smart, and also, that he was wildly insecure about it, I guess because everyone around him treated him like he was dumb. Sometimes he would lie about the subjects he had to work on, so my boss (science dude) let him stay two hours in my class instead of one in each, and then he'd just pull out his math homework in my class and dare me to snitch on him.

I won't forget the first day he came through the door and instead of going to his seat he came to my table to show me an Spanish language exam with what would be, in our system an A-. Fuck I would've put that on my fridge.

However, as I was seeing this development, my colegues kept mentioning what a fuck up the kid was and even said goodbye to the little brother but not to him and other very rude stuff.

One day, Mike very politely told me that another kid was making fun of him for being slow, and that if he kept it up, he was going to beat him up after class. He told me so I could, as the adult in charge I was supposed to be, do something to prevent it. But I just told the other kid to stop and kept working, and didn't realize he was serious until the hour was up and, true to his word, Mike picked up his stuff quickly and went behind the other kid. As soon as the glass door closed behind them I saw him grab the kid by his hoodie, yank him back and kick him hard in the back, throwing him to the ground. He was about to hit him again when I got to them and separated them. While I checked if the other kid was alright, Mike made sure I saw him throw his homework in the trashcan in front of the building.

I had to tell my boss about it and I felt awful, because I knew how it would look for Mike, specially since he hit a non-problematic kid who got all straight As. But as complex as you think the situation is, you just... cannot justify violence. Still, I tried to explain that I thought we should work with both kids, because on the one hand, Mike might have anger management issues, and on the other hand, the other kid had a pattern of manipulating the teachers to get them to punish other kids, and in particular, he enjoyed riling Mike up. But I think my boss only heard "evil child confirmed".

The next day, Mike had an hour with my boss and then one with me. I heard my boss's voice rising through the wall during the 1st hour and when his class finished he scorted Mike to my class and said "He's not going to do anything today, ok? He's just going to sit in a corner and not talk". I didn't understand. "But he was an exam tomorrow" I answered, and my boss said "He doesn't care, right Mike?". And I didn't want to agree so I just said "We'll see what we do, if you don't mind..." and kinda (softly, because I am a coward) closed the door on him.

Mike refused to even open his bag. I got the other kids started on their homework and went back to him, asked him if he wanted to tell me what had happened. He said no, but later he was clearly talking to another classmate about it and the kid he hit was behind them and he raised his hand and said "Miss, Mike just said you're an asshole." Suddenly Mike turns to him, and then to me, like, horrified, I shit you not, and he starts getting really worked up, and starts saying "That's not true! I didn't say that!" and other kid goes "You said "asshole", I heard you!", and this goes on back and forth for a minute until Mike just turns to me and says "But I didn't say it about you! I swear, you're not, you're not. He is." And at that every kid in the class goes *surprised Pikachu* because we all know that he means my boss, and they're all looking at me waiting for my reaction. And I don't know what the right thing to do is, because I can't just openly antagonize my boss in front of the class, but the kid is so upset, and I just blurt out a super lame "Mike, we don't say swearwords." And he says again "But it wasn't about you..." like he really needs me to know that, like he doesn't know that I'm on his side, man, I've been on this kids' side for months, and I look at him and I wish I would telepathically convey "I KNOW MY BOSS IS AN ASSHOLE AND YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE SHOUTED AT" while verbally saying "I know. I know. But we don't say swearwords, ok?" and he kinda calmed down and said "Ok", and I think he understood, that I had to scold him about the language, but that I wasn't denying the sentiment behind it. He opened his Spanish book and started to study for his exam.

I had agreed with my boss at the very beginning to end my contract in time for the last part of my school year, so I would be free to study for the exams, and the date was getting close, but as it was going to "interrupt" the kids' routine, and parents might complain, he wanted to make it seem as if something had come up suddenly in my life so I had to leave. So: I was forbidden from saying goodbye to the kids. This was very dramatic™ at the time, and I remember being like "fuck I'm gonna cry. and the children won't even know WHY". But don't worry I did actually get to say goodbye to them, because my boss overshares like hell he told some of the kids in his class that I was leaving (he told them I had to go back to my village or something) and then it was a big mess, because I didn't know any kid knew and suddenly a lil girl in my class goes "Miss, is it true that you're leaving?" and my brain went blank because I wasn't prepared and I CAN'T ACTUALLY LIE so I kinda went "I... might have to?" and annoying kid™ says "Not might, you will, [InsertMyBossName] just told us." And Mike, who had been uncannily well behaved since the incident the week before asks "You're leaving us?" like I have betrayed them or something and. Man. my heart. hurts. ok? I say that I'm staying until the end of the month still and he's like "That's fine" but he was super cold about it, and he ignored me for the most part of my last 2 weeks at the academy, he just read a book he had to read for class, refused to have any of the candy I brought for them the last days and I got the strong impression that I was being punished by someone less than half my age.

On what I thought was my second to last class with him but was actually the last, he came to the teacher table and asked me "Do you want to know something?", and I said "Of course, tell me" and he said "You're leaving on Thursday?" knowing this was a delicate subject, I nodded. He smiled and said "I'm leaving tomorrow... I told my mom. She's taking us out. My brother too."

We spent the last half an hour discussing Shrek, and memes. And I didn't make any effort to make them go back to their homework and I know that wasn't very professional but in my defense they mostly didn't have anything to do either way. When we were closing I asked my boss about the brothers and he said that the mom had come to tell him that she wouldn't be paying for the next month and he added "Hey, don't worry about Mike, he's a lost cause." I said "I really don't think so", and he just shrugged.

I was so glad, that for whatever reason (I like to think that I helped but probably it was the fight with my boss that did it) this kid had gotten serious enough with his mom that she believed him. That she realised that the adults that were supposed to help her kid, though that he was a mess, were actually so sure, so set on believing that he was a mess, that they were actually turning him into one.

I only saw Mike again once. I was running to catch a bus and the three of them (mother and kids) were, I guess, waiting for another bus. I smiled and waved at them while fumbling with my bag, laptop and coat and taking out my bus card and Mike lit up and waved shouting "Bye Miss [My name] :D!". And his mom narrowed her eyes at me and watched me until I got on the bus and disapeared from their lives. And you know what? I'm fucking glad she did. If she doesn't trust anyone who worked at that place? I'm fucking glad, I'm happy as long as she's listening to that kid. Because a bunch of full grown men and women, in charge of a teaching center, had decided that a kid was a lost cause, at the age of fucking 11.

A kid cannot possibly be a lost cause. They just can't. Kids are not a finished product, kids have just started, and if you're a constant presence in their lives you have to know that you're going to be a factor on the development of that finished product. You don't get to, Idk, dump seven spoonfuls of salt into a bowl of cookie doug and say "Pf, it's unedible, we migh as well throw a bunch of nails and a couple flip-flops in there".

I don't know where I'm going with this metaphor okay? but there's tons of Mikes out there. There's a ton of kids who need support, not punishment, not to be treated like potential thugs but like kids, which is what they are. It doesn't matter what you think they'll be in 10 years and it's irrelevant if you end up being right because now, in this moment, they are kids.

I guess, what I'm trying to say is, fucking be kind with children. okay? Please.

[dolanmedown]

Three Reasons (E.D.)

Author’s Note: yayayaya another Ethan imagine! I have a lot of ideas for writing so be on the lookout for more!! 

                                          REQUEST! (LIMITED)

Requested: No

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: Cursing

Prompt: You and Ethan had been English partners all year, yet forgot about one of the biggest projects until last minute. Deciding to pull an all-nighter to finish it, the project brought out the similar beliefs you two had, and similar reasons for one particular thing.

You stopped dead in your tracks. You were making your way around your house as you were talking to your friend. Your friend had just called you to ask a simple question about what you were wearing to school tomorrow. As per usual, your topic of conversation drifted to many subjects, until it came to the one you completely forgot about.

“What?” you asked, unsure if you had heard her correctly. Chances are you did, and you just didn’t want to come to terms with what you just heard.

“Uh, you know, that project Mr. Alcalde gave us last week? About your own thoughts and beliefs of the universe?” your friend told you, asking in a way to see if you remembered. Of course you remembered the project, you just hadn’t remembered to do it.

“The project!” you cried out. You completely forgot about it.

“Did your partner do any? Wasn’t your partner Ethan?” your friend asked you.

Ethan sat next to you in English, so you had been partners for over half the school year now. You had grown a liking to Ethan, maybe more so than a friend. But your cute little thoughts about him were so unrealistic. It wasn’t like you were a complete loser in the school. You were on the soccer team, and many people knew you because of how you were such an excellent soccer player. However, you weren’t at the top most list of popularity. Unlike others, you actually showed respect for those who were considered “below” you. The whole popularity idea was stupid to you, which came into terms as to why your best friend Kait (who was on the phone with you now) was one of the “normals” in the school.

However, Ethan took a liking towards the girls he was always around, which were the more popular girls. It made sense if you thought about it. Him and his twin brother were undoubtedly the most attractive boys at your school, and them playing sports boosted them even further. To put it short, you were ‘out of his league.’

Did you really care though? No. Boys weren’t your main concern, and everyone who knew you had known that. You were so focused on getting scholarships for college in soccer and academics, that boys couldn’t catch up. But you had to focus on this one boy. He was different.

“Yeah, but he probably forgot too. I mean we talked on Friday about sports, the project didn’t even come up. Oh shit what do I do?” you asked Kait.

“I mean, you could miss a day of school tomorrow can’t you?” Kait asked. You shook your head, although she couldn’t see you.

“Oh no no no no no. I have soccer training after school, and coach won’t let me train if I’m not in school. Plus I studied this whole weekend for the stupid physics exam, so there’s no way I’m not taking that.” You were truly stumped. You had no clue what to do.

“Ok well, call Ethan and tell him you guys have to do the project and meet up somewhere.”

You glanced at the clock which displayed 9:58 and groaned. “It’s almost 10! It took you 4 hours to finish it and you’re the smartest person in our class!”

“Well I was working with the dumbest person who had no creativity whatsoever. That’s why it took so long. But you and Ethan won’t take that long, just call him,” your best friend pushed.

“Ugh ok, I’ll talk to you later hopefully,” You hung up the phone and plopped face forward on the couch, your mom coming in a few seconds later.

“What’s wrong? I heard you groan from the bathroom.” she asked. You picked your head up and fixed your body so you were sitting with your legs pushed up against your chest.

“I completely forgot I had an English project due tomorrow and I have to do it with my partner but it’s 10 o’clock at night. And I know you’re going to say how I should be more responsible but I’ve been so focused on soccer and physics that the English project didn’t cross my mind.”

She sat quietly for a minute before speaking.

“I wasn’t going to say that. But why don’t you just stay home?” she asked. You shook your head and explained this for the second time.

“Because Coach Manning wouldn’t let me train, and I have my physics test tomorrow.”

She looked away for a second, defeated, before giving you another answer.

“So tell your partner to come here and you guys can finish the project.” She thought this was the perfect idea, but you sighed. She probably thought your partner was a girl, not a guy. You knew she would change your mind once you told her it was a guy.

“Mom, my partner is a guy. His name is Ethan Dolan.” you explained.

“Oh.” was all she said. You knew it, and your face went in your hands, frustrated as you wanted to cry.

“He can still come over.” she spoke. You whipped your head up and gave her a questioning look.

“I’ve been your mother all throughout your high school experience. And I know that you don’t care about boys the way other girls would if they were in your position. I don’t want you to not get a good grade on this. You can go in the basement with him so you don’t wake up your father and I. Plus, I met Ethan before, very sweet boy.”

You remembered what she was talking about. It was your senior night for soccer, and the whole school came. You remember distinctly telling Ethan in English that if he didn’t go, you wouldn’t be his English partner anymore. He was cheering for you the loudest that whole night, and sat next to your parents, starting a conversation with them. After that night, your parents asked you at every dinner about Ethan. They loved him and only met him once.

You got up and hugged your mother, thanking her 12 times.

“You’re welcome, just make sure the basement isn’t a mess afterwards. I’m going up to bed now anyways.” You wished her good night before clicking on Ethan’s contact and calling him. With every ring the butterflies in your stomach increased. He picked up after the fourth one.

“Y/N! We forgot about the English project!” he said right away. So he did remember, at least last minute. So did you.

“Yeah I know. We have to do it now.”

“Now?” he questioned. “It’s 10:15 at night!”

“And you can’t miss school tomorrow because of lacrosse, and I can’t miss school because of soccer.”

“Fuck, what are we going to do?”he asked.

“Just come over my house. We’ll pull an all-nighter and get this stupid project done.”

“Ok. Wait are your parents home?” he asked.

“Um, yeah. But they’re sleeping.” You wondered why he wanted to know that.

“Damn, I wanted to say hi.” You laughed and he told you he’d be over soon.

Sending him your address, you got your school bag and supplies and brought it downstairs to your basement, along with your laptop, a poster board, blankets, pillows, and few snacks and drinks. Going back up the stairs you looked in the reflection of your cabinets as to what you were wearing. It was a black t-shirt that you won at a soccer tournament and grey sweatpants. Both of them were at least 2 sizes too big on you. At first you wondered of you should change, but you disregarded the thought as you collapsed on your couch.

Quickly texting Kait what was happening, she answered with all sorts of questions, especially what time you planned on going to bed since it was already 11.  

Ethan had then texted you he was here. You wondered why he didn’t ring the doorbell, but then remembered you had told him your parents were sleeping. Such a sweetheart.

You opened the door and came face to face with Ethan. He saw his English partner with her hair tied in a messy bun, parts of her hair falling out. She was wearing glasses and wasn’t wearing any makeup while wearing clothes that made her look like a marshmallow. She looked so adorable and innocent.

Ethan’s hair was somewhat disheveled and although it made him look hotter, you were one to talk. He was wearing a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants as well, however his clothes fit him. He had his bag and laptop in his hands.

“Why does this always happen?” you asked. He laughed softly, still afraid of waking up your parents. You were referring to the fact that you and Ethan always seemed to match, even if it wasn’t planned.

“You just want to be me,” he teased, and he walked into your house. You locked the door and lead him down the stairs to your basement.

“I actually want to be good at sports,” you joked right back at him. He shot you a look and you giggled, taking a seat on loveseat while Ethan opted for the couch to stretch out his long legs. His black North Face bag went on the floor and he got his notes from English class out, as did you.

“What is this stupid project even on?” Ethan asked, and you shook your head.

“Kait told me it was about our own thoughts and beliefs on the universe. She sent me a picture of her project..” you trailed off, looking through your emails on your laptop to find it.

Ethan looked rather confused, and you weren’t sure on what.

“You know the universe? Like Earth, and the different planets-”

“I know what the universe is. Who um, who is Kait?” he asked. You smiled and shook your head softly. Of course he wouldn’t know who Kait is.

“Kait Romano. She’s in our English class. She sits in the front.” you said, hopefully helping him remember who she is. His mouth opened, but then closed it rather quickly. You frowned.

“Say it,” you bugged him.

“I know who she is. I just, I was thinking of a different Kait.”

“Kait Green?” He nodded and you practically vomited.

“What? I thought you guys knew each other?” he asked, defending himself.

Kait Green was one of the people you would never have respect for, and you respected almost everyone. She always tried to make it known that she was the ‘hottest’ girl in the school, and was absolutely horrid to anyone that got in her way, especially with boys. So when one day she accused you of trying to steal the boy she was talking to that week, she tried to make up a rumor that you had sex with the captains of the football team, in a week. Those captains included the twins. Right away everyone knew the rumors were false, mostly because the other 3 captains were complete assholes and you didn’t like them whatsoever. Then when you had the perfect chance, you kicked a soccer ball right at the back of her head in gym. She still doesn’t know it was you, but she was certainly embarrassed.

“You really don’t know me. I have to say I’m offended.” you joked. He laughed, but continued on with his question.

“Wait, so why are you friends with Kait Romano?” he asked. You shrugged as your eyes met, but you quickly turned yours back to the laptop.

“She’s a good person. And really funny. You just wouldn’t know since she isn’t as ‘cool’ as us,” you started, finger quoting cool. “The whole who’s popular and who’s not thing is such a joke to be honest. Like why does it matter? Are you putting on your transcript to college ‘everyone knew who I was’?” Ethan laughed again, and you just shook your head.

“I get it though,” he said, opening his laptop. “We’re all humans. I mean technically we’re all animals. So the whole popularity thing means nothing. If you think about it, money means nothing. Clothes mean nothing. It all means nothing. We’re all animals, except humans are a little more advanced.”

You looked at him and grabbed a notebook out of your bag, flipping to a new page and started writing what he said down.

“This is a good start. We can bounce off of this,” you said, and he nodded.

“So, what do you think about space?” he asked you, and you took a deep breath before giving it your all.

The clock flashed 1:59. You and Ethan has been bouncing off every idea possible about earth, space, planets, life. Everything.

You were on topic at first. You talked about how you knew for a fact there had to be life somewhere else. You talked about how big the galaxy really is, and how it another galaxy, there was probably a life similar to you. It just wasn’t known because of how far away we were.

Ethan rebutted off of this talking about the government. He said how aliens were a thing, and the government tried to hide it so much to the point that they made us believe aliens had to be these green-headed, multiple eyes blob, when really they could be a person passing the street. He also believed in opposite universes, and how we had a bad day because our opposite universe needed to have a good one, and visa versa.

Your ideas went off topic however. Similar to you and Kait, you and Ethan talked about too many different things to keep track of. First you talked about dinosaurs, then religion, then technology, and finally made your way to love.

“Do you believe in love?” he asked you. You two had gotten closer and went on the floor, blankets underneath you had your finished project drying up on the poster board. The ideas came easily to you two, but planning it and figuring out how to convey it was the hard part. It took you almost 3 hours to finish that alone. But you were finally done with the project.

“Yes. I think you know it it’s love though. You feel a certain way that’s different from the other. Love is so much different than infatuation.”

He was quiet for a second before speaking again. “Do you believe in love at first sight.”

You thought for a second. Your mind instantly went to the day you first saw Ethan. Strangely, you hadn’t seen him until this year in English. It was definitely weird, considering many of the athletes always saw each other, especially the more popular ones. Then again, there were way over 200 athletes at your school.

You were relatively the last one to your English class, since your class was on the third floor and you came from the basement. To this day you were late almost every day, but your teacher knew you tried to make it up here as quick as possible.

Ethan has spotted you as soon as you came into the classroom. You were wearing something extremely simple, jeans with a t-shirt. Ethan has the same approach as you, which started off the matching of outfits. He couldn’t help but stare at you, and was in complete disbelief when you started walking over to him. It took him a second to realize that your teacher had seats assigned and you two would have your seats next to you for your entire year. He had never felt the way he felt when he looked at you. Sure he had his fair share of girls that threw themselves at him, but you were different. You couldn’t care less if you looked good for him, and he knew you were the one. That was the first reason he knew.

He knew even later when he spoke to your parents at your senior night. They had your last name on the back of their shirts, so Ethan had purposely sat next to them knowing they were your parents, despite the looks that his teammates gave him. Ethan cheered for you so loud, mainly wanting you to hear him. You did and looked over to smile at him, but he was talking to your parents.. Him and your parents talked and cheered about and for you throughout the whole game. Ethan had given you a hug after your game, and although it was one of the sweatiest hugs he’s ever gotten, it was his first one with you, and he suddenly had butterflies.That was the second reason he knew.

And he really knew 3 weeks ago, when his mom ran into you at her hair salon. You and her talked briefly, since you just ran in to make an appointment, but when Lisa brought you up to Ethan, she noticed the goofy smile that crept onto his face.

“Mom, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. My heart feels like its swelling and about to burst every time I’m around her.” Ethan only ever told his mom about his feelings for you, because she was the only person that would give him what he needed to hear.

“Sweetie, you’re in love with her.” Ethan groaned, not wanting to hear it. He never hung out with you alone once, and the only conversation you guys really had was during third period English. So how the hell could he be in love with you?

“She doesn’t even like me back,” he cried.

“Did she tell you that?” Lisa asked him.

“Well no, but she always talks about how she’d rather be focused on soccer and school than a stupid boy.” Ethan was starting to tear up. He wasn’t with you, yet felt heartbroken. That was the third reason he knew.

“Sometimes girls say things to cover up how they’re actually feeling.” Lisa said. And boy, oh boy, did she describe it perfectly.

You remember when your feelings started to grow for him.

The first was the first day of school. Your teacher had already given out seating charts based on averages from last year. You frowned, knowing you weren’t going to be with Kait since you and her had the highest two averages in the class. Instead Mr. Alcalde called your name with Ethan Dolan. You turned around to see him looking at you already. He wore a similar outfit to you and you laughed to yourself, thinking “it must be the athlete in us.” He was single doubtedly the most attractive guy you were ever faced with. You had always told yourself how boys were so stupid, and not to let them near you because they’re a waste of time. And granted 99% of the boys you came into contact with proved it, but Ethan was so different. That was the first reason.

So throughout the year you had to play it off. You talked and ranted to Ethan countless amount of times about the stupidity and ignorance of guys. You talked about how high school, to you at least, was for preparing for college. Maybe it was to tell Ethan that, but deep down inside you had to say those things to practically remind yourself. Because you would walk into English, see Ethan, and his bright eyes light up, and his lips curve into a smile, and those reminders faded away. You saw someone who made you feel different, even if it was for only 40 minutes. He made you feel special, like you were the only one he wanted, even if that wasn’t what you thought was true. That was the second reason.

And you really knew 3 weeks ago as well, when you were talking to your mom. She talked about how she met a really nice boy named Ethan at your senior night, and involuntarily you cheesily smiled.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” your mom asked you. You looked at her like she was crazy, and she shook her head.

“Sweetie, I see it in your eyes. And I know you want to just focus on soccer and school but-” You cut her off with a groan.

“Mom, I don’t like Ethan. How many times do I have to say it?”

“Well you don’t like him, you love him so I’m glad you admitted that,” she teased and you rolled your eyes. “And secondly honey I don’t understand why you don’t talk to him more?” she questioned. You shook your head and looked away, tears forming but you forced them back.

“Because mom, he doesn’t like people like me. He goes for girls like Rebecca Silverman and Sydney Adams and fucking Kait Greens! Not me,” you cried. That was the third reason you knew. Your mom hugged you for a long time before letting go.

“Boys hide everything. You’ll know when he realizes.”

Did you believe in love at first sight?  And the answer was so easy, you looked right into his eyes, the ones you melted for every third period. You knew it, and he knew it too. You had both realized it. And you were both aware.

“Yes. Since the first time I met you,” you said, letting out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding.

“Me too,” Ethan mumbled. And that was all that was said before warmth met your body and softness met your lips. It was like morphine and heroin. It was something you simply couldn’t get enough of. It was an addiction, to have your lips on his. And he felt the same way.

You had this bursting of your heart happen, the butterflies flew away. The one thing you wanted to happen most had finally happened.

Foreheads resting against each other, you stared at those captivating eyes again before he spoke.

“Be mine,” he said, almost pleading,

“Always.” He answered back with another kiss, and that was good enough for you.

The third period bell rang, and you hurried your way through all the students, yet you still heard the late bell ring as walked up the familiar hallway that lead you to your english class. The usual case of butterflies were still there, and even more present than before.

Ethan had left at around 3, and you barely slept, yet neither did he. You were so happy and giddy that sleep was the last thing on your mind. You got around 2 hours of sleep and that was good enough for you as you skipped up the stairs and into the kitchen, greeted by your mother.

She didn’t have the chance to say anything before you said something.

“He realized. And so did I.” She smiled and gave you a hug.

“I know. I went downstairs to check on you and you were smiling in your sleep.”

You walked into class and saw Ethan and the poster on his desk. You walked over and sat down, a kiss placed on your cheek.

“Good morning,” he said.

“We better get an A on this project,” you said, your hand reaching up to rub your eye. The lack of sleep was starting to catch up to you.

Ethan shrugged. “I already got the best thing possible.” You smiled as he placed a soft kiss on your lips, which missed the feeling.

“Woah woah woah, I called it first with you and Ethan, but how did this happen so quickly?” Kait asked as we were dismissed from third period and walked towards fourth.

You shrugged and looked over at her, smiling.

“I guess I had my three reasons.”

[jinyoung-ssi]

Sniped Pt. 1 - Yugyeom

Type: Mini Series

Genre: Fluff

Length: 2780 words

Summary: In which he’s a spy on a mission and using your flat as a sniper nest to kill a bad guy but you come home a few days early from your vacation.

“No Jenny, I am not home yet,” you tried to balance the phone cradled against your shoulder as you lugged your suitcase up the stairs.

“We really need this fixed before Mr. Rogers finds out and fires the whole department,” the girl on the other line said. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. You would still be in Hawaii right now enjoying a glass of Margarita by the beach if only the company’s intranet wasn’t hacked. The breach of security was clearly a lack of competence in their part. You just started this job a few months ago yet here you are now back four days early to fix their shit.

“Yes yes yes. I’ll go there as soon as I leave my stuff at home.”

“See you soon. Bye.”

As you approached your apartment door, you notice that the lights are on inside.

You began to question yourself if you accidentally left it on but you were pretty sure you checked everything before you left.

Slowly, you inserted your key and entered the apartment. You could hear a faint humming from the kitchen. You quietly set your suitcase and tiptoed towards the kitchen. On the way, you noticed a pillow and blanket set that you’ve never seen before your whole life sprawled over the couch.

Who could it possibly be? You rattled your mind. Last time you checked, your mom and dad were on a cruise and none of your friends or exes have keys to your home. Fuck, is this how you’re gonna die?

You let out a scream as soon as you saw an unfamiliar man using your kitchen.

He was surprised and started screaming as well.

You grabbed the nearest object as a possible weapon - a carrot. It’ll have to do. “What are you doing in my apartment?”

He raised his hands to show that he meant no harm.

“Turn the stove off,” you ordered, the carrot still pointed at him.

He quickly turned it off before raising his hands again. “Miss Y/N,” he said.

“How do you know my name?” You questioned.

“Listen, all my intel said you’re not meant to be back until next week,” the young man tried to explain. He was pale with jet black hair and dressed in all black.

“I wasn’t,” You groaned at the frustration of being back home instead of a holiday. “But that still doesn’t answer my question.”

“It’s gonna sound crazy,” he started off. “Do you mind sitting down?”

You continued to examine him. He was of tall built and could easily take you down. He could be around your age but his facial features make you think he could be much younger.

“I’m fine right here.”

“I can’t tell you much but my name is Kim Yugyeom and I’m a spy.”

You couldn’t help but burst into laughter. A hearty one with tears pooling in your eyes as you clapped like a seal. This guy’s a lunatic.

He stood there unnerved. “You don’t have to believe me but I really need to use your flat as a sniper nest to kill a bad guy.”

“Wai-wai-wait,” you interrupt and try to comprehend the words you just heard. “There will absolute be no killing done in this apartment. You need to get out. NOW.”

“I can’t. I’m on a mission and legally, you can’t kick a spy out of your territory if he’s on a mission. You have a duty, too.”

Laws and Obligations were not your strongest suit. “How do I know you’re not the bad guy?” At this point, he could be anyone.

“I can prove it to you,” he looked really earnest and sincere but still, here in your apartment was a stranger trying to assassinate another stranger. Your train of thought was lost as soon as your phone started ringing.

“I need to take this. You can eat first.” You let him continue cooking and left for the living room.

“Y/N, I know the traffic’s really bad tonight but please tell me you’re near,” it was Jenny from a while ago.

“Yeah, it’s pretty bad but don’t worry I’ll get there,” you play along while rushing to get your stuff.

You go back to find Yugyeom busy slurping on some ramen noodles.

“So you say you’re a spy?” Just making sure.

He nods carefully.

“When’s your mission?”

“Tomorrow. Just please,” he attempts to explain but you just cut him off.

“I need you to get me to 32nd and 5th ASAP,” you wanted to test if this “spy” could get you there pronto.

“Well, come on!” He quickly stood up and grabbed a leather jacket as he lead you out of your own apartment.

You couldn’t help but compare his chic outfit to your mismatched hoodie, sweats, coat, and sneakers. In your defense, you were rushing to get a flight. Man, he was really taking the spy level seriously with the outfit, you thought.

You both walk towards a sleek black motorcycle and he passes you a helmet.

“This..” you point towards the motorcycle, “is your spy mobile?”

He lets out a chuckle. “You want to get there ASAP right?”

“I don’t know, I was thinking of something like a helicopter,” you said as you put on your helmet.

“That wouldn’t be so subtle for a spy on a mission now, would it?”

He had a point. You hold on to him as he started the engine. You can’t believe you’re trusting the stranger that broke into your apartment with your life.

Before you know it, you were speeding across streets and sneaking in between cars to get past the traffic. You felt your insides churn and closed your eyes. Then, he slowed down.

“Which building are you going to?” The helmet muffled his voice a little. You pointed to your office building, full of office workers leaving after a day’s work.

“Thanks,” you said and returned the helmet. You didn’t really want him going back to your apartment again without you so you ask him to wait for you. “There’s a coffee shop in the lobby, wait for me there.”

Surprisingly, he gave you a nod and you rushed towards the elevator.

“Y/N!” Jenny a few others from your department cheered as you arrived at the office.

They gave you a briefing of the breach and you quickly worked on it. The company’s system was so old, it had not been updated since it was installed that’s why it was so easy to tap into.

“We really need to implement a new system,” you suggested while your hands were busy coding away.

“Yeah but they won’t approve the funds for a new one,” someone answered back.

You sighed. *But they can afford to cut your trip short.

“Done!” Everyone started clapping and cheering. They said their thanks and apologized for the inconvenience but your mind was already on Yugyeom.

“Sorry to rush but I have to go guys,” and you were gone before they could say another word.

You sat across Yugyeom, who was busy laughing from whatever he was watching on his phone.

“Yugyeom,” you called out.

Ignored.

You waved your hands in front of his face to get his attention. He looked up at you and removed his earphones.

“Hey,” he gave you a shy smile.

You give back an awkward smile. “Can we talk about this at home?”

“So.. spy?” You opened the subject while giving him a cup of hot chocolate and settled on the couch.

“Thanks and yes,” he was awkwardly sitting on an ottoman too small for his size.

“You can sit here,” you tapped on the couch to invite him. He moved his pillows and now folded sheets.

“We aren’t allowed to use the home owner’s personal stuff except amenities like the kitchen and bathroom,” he says with an awkward chuckle.

You couldn’t help but giggle. Of all the spies around the world, you got a baby giant.

“How long have you been staying here?”

“Since yesterday.”

“How can you prove you’re a spy?” You prodded.

He grabs his laptop from the table and starts typing. “I’m part of Secret Intelligence International or SII. To put it simply, we’re an independent entity that works to kill or catch bad men.”

You nod. You feel like you’ve heard this in a hundred movies before.

“Why don’t you just use some spy invention to knock me out?”

He gave you a weird look. “This isn’t like in the movies and I can’t hurt a civilian.”

You rolled your eyes. That would have made the job easier for the both of you.

“Y/N, you’re a hacker, right?”

You almost nod but quickly shake your head.

“Let me rephrase that, you used to be a hacker right? Before your current job,” he asks again.

“You can say that,” you answer, not quite sure where he was getting at.

“SII has the safest and most secured system in the world. I bet my life you can’t hack into it,” he gave you the laptop with a smug face.

“How do I know you’re not a bad guy wanting to hack into SII?” He may be cute but you were still suspicious.

“Because there’s no use,” he started showing frustration for the first time.

“And how do I get to find out more about SII?” You could ask a hundred questions right now.

“Oh, just google it,” he said casually.

“If I can just google it then why bother with secret in Secret Intelligence International?” You started looking through all the search results in your phone.

“Our organization’s not a secret, but our intel is,” he explained. “The public has no idea who the people behind it are.”

“I know a certain Yugyeom who works for SII,” you teased him.

“How do you know it’s not an alias?” He cocked his eyebrow.

You pointed towards his luggage and metal cases. All of them had an SII tag labeled ‘Yugyeom’.

He closed his eyes in embarrassment. “I would have done the usual safety procedures but I wasn’t expecting you.”

“No, I wasn’t expecting you,” you said, earning a laugh from Yugyeom.

“So who are you trying to kill?”

“Sorry, that’s confidential,” he said.

“Can you tell me why you’re killing him instead of just locking him up?” If you were going to let him stay, you wanted to know a little bit about the mission.

“Some people don’t deserve to rot in jail,” he turned serious. “I’ll give you a hint about the guy, he’s one of the world’s most wanted.”

You didn’t think it would be such a big mission.

“But what is he doing here?”

“Stella’s,” that was all he said but you understood. You couldn’t believe that the quaint bakery near your apartment was actually home to some of the world’s nastiest.

“Okay,” you said. “I’ll let you stay here.”

He gave you a wide grin. “Thank you so much!”

“On one condition,” you added.

“Anything,” he quickly answered.

“You let me try to hack into SII,” you were hopeful.

“All yours,” he said as he stood up. “I’ll make dinner for the both of us.”

Had it been a different situation, you would serve your guest but you’ve never had dinner made by a secret spy before.

You started doing your thing while Yugyeom prepared dinner. It was hard but you expected no less. It took you back to college and your time as a freelance hacker. It helped paid for your tuition and rent but the jobs started to be too much, even for your own ethical standards. That’s how you ended up with a proper IT job in a multinational company. The pay was competitive and at least what you were doing was legal.

You were still studying the system when Yugyeom called you to eat.

“Ooh, italian,” you marveled at the carbonara, garlic bread, and wine at the table.

He helped you to your seat like a gentleman before sitting across you.

“Just a little something I learned while I was in Rome,” he smiled sheepishly as he offered you the food.

“Am I even allowed to know what you were doing in Rome?” You wondered aloud.

He laughed and shook his head. “No, actually.”

“So what can we talk about?” You began to eat and gave him a look of approval.

“I noticed you like old movies,” he started. “You have a whole space dedicated to DVDs and books in your living room.”

“The books are all mine but the DVDs are my ex’s.”

“Oh.”

“Something your intel missed,” you joked. “He’s too lazy to get them but I think he’s just afraid I’ll kick his cheating ass when I see him.”

He had a sorry look on his face but quickly diverted the conversation. “Do you have any hobbies?”

“I like swimming and going to the beach,” you sighed as you imagine the heat of the sun and the sand in your toes. “I was actually in Hawaii for a short vacation but I had to cut it short because of some problems in the company.”

“And you had to catch a stranger living in your apartment. I know it’s hard but thank you for trusting me,” he added.

“It’s alright,” you took a sip of red wine. “At least my weekend won’t be so boring.”

“By the way, it would be better if you don’t see the whole thing tomorrow. You know, safety reasons.”

“Of course, I’ll do my errands tomorrow then.”

“Everything’s gonna go smoothly but just in case something goes wrong, I can’t have you here.”

You nod. You didn’t want to put yourself near any danger either.

The night was filled with conversation and laughter. There was a lot to talk about beyond work.

“I’ll do the dishes,” you said.

“No, I can do it.”

“How about I do it and you help?”

You both worked on the dishes silently. Side by side, arms grazing each other occasionally, it was sad that you’ll probably never see this person again. Although you would like to get to know him better, this was the only chance you had.

He got ready to sleep in your living room while you continued to work on hacking into SII until the sun came up.

You decided to cook some eggs and bacon for breakfast. You were almost done when a half asleep and shirtless Yugyeom catches you off guard.

“Good morning,” he muttered.

“Good morning,” you tried to look up at his face only.

“What time do I need to be out of the apartment?”

“He’ll be at Stella’s at around 10:30 to noon.”

“Okay. I’ll be gone by then.”

“And when you get back, I’ll be gone, too.”

It was weird. The stranger was finally leaving your home but you didn’t feel relieved or happy of any kind.

“Is there a big escape?” You mused.

“The helicopter you’ve been waiting for is going to make an appearance.” He raised his eyebrow and laughed.

“I expect nothing less!”

“I’m gonna grab some iced choco and check the perimeters one last time. Do you want anything?”

“Iced choco?”

“Yeah,” he smiled shyly. “It’s kind of tradition to have it while i’m waiting for my target.”

“In honor of the tradition, I’ll have one iced chocolate too.”

You got ready as soon as he left the apartment. A weird feeling was coming over you, it was a mix of anxiety and calmness.

When you got out of your bedroom, Yugyeom was on the phone talking to someone. A sniper was set up by  the window facing Stella’s. It felt all too real.

“Everything’s set. The helicopter’s already in position.” It was a different side you’ve seen to the one you met yesterday.

“Alright. Bye.”

As soon as he got off the phone, you gave him back the laptop and he handed you your drink.

“Cheers!” He exclaimed as he touched his own drink with yours.

“Goodluck!” You said as you pulled him into a hug. His head resting comfortably on top of yours. It was short but sweet and most definitely sincere.

“Thanks, Y/N. You’ve been so nice. I definitely won’t forget you.”

“I won’t either. You’re the first spy I ever met.” You chuckled.

You left for the mall and tried to tackle on a long list of errands. It was enough to keep you busy for a few hours.

While at the department store, you passed by the appliance section. A few people had gathered to tune in. All of the TVs were broadcasting the death of the leader of a human trafficking syndicate - one of the world’s most wanted.

A/N: How cute is Yugyeom as a spy?! This the first part of a mini series so I hope you guys like it! If you have any requests, just send them in here!

[stufftippywrote]

continental drift

(#21 off the Super Sappy Prompts list: “I’m better when I’m with you.”)

It's an experiment based on a hypothesis based on a coincidence. They're sharing a room on a roadie, and Nursey has been stuck in a dry spell for a week and a half now. The words just haven't been coming the way he wants them to, and he's starting to feel dried out, like all the creative juices have been wrung out of him by school stress and lack of sleep. Maybe it'll never come back. Maybe he's just done. All washed up by the tender age of twenty.

He's not even trying to write as he watches Dex from across the room, tracking his fidgets and expressions as he sits hunched over his laptop frowning at the screen. It's been a while since he and Dex have been in the same room for an extended period of time -- a fortnight, about. Dex has been on a project, and Nursey started isolating himself about when the drought hit. But it was nice to sit with him on the bus today, and it's nice to dump his bag near the bed and just relax, hands behind his head, and drink in his presence. It feels like something he's been missing for far too long.

Nursey's not sure what it is that makes the words start coming back, but it's like a cloudburst on a hot day -- a few lines, scattered drops against a parched sidewalk, then all at once he's drowning.

He writes for four hours that night. His poems are full of microchips and anger, all about the gray morality of man against the rigidity of binary code, and by one a.m., when he should really be getting his beauty rest for tomorrow's game, he's starting to formulate a theory.

The theory is that maybe being in Dex's proximity jumpstarts his creativity. In a phrase, Dex inspires him.

So Nursey resolves to test it.

He brings his notebook to the rink. After practice, he forgoes the showers to write poems about red on white. The metaphors jump onto the page. He looks at what he's done and thinks it needs editing, but it'll work. Then he looks up and realizes everyone's gone. Also, he stinks. He goes in the shower and thinks about Dex racing alongside him, and the words keep on coming.

Near midterms, he follows Dex down an autumn-leaf-lined path to the library. He should ostensibly be studying for his U.S. history exam. Instead, when he gets to Founder's he cracks open the notebook and writes about what it must feel like to be brittle and breakable, like a dried leaf on the sidewalk. It's an interesting exploration.

He and Dex are absolutely crushed at flip cup by Lardo and one of the volleyball girls. It's funny as hell. Dex puts a hand on his shoulder and nearly doubles over with laughter. Nursey then creeps off to a corner, finds a napkin, and jots down thirteen sentences on the nature of failure. For the subject matter, it's a remarkably optimistic poem. He stuffs it in his pocket and finds it two weeks later. It gives him a grin as he copies it carefully into his notebook.

Now it's near finals time, and Nursey's tasked to write a series of poems on a theme. He's having trouble finding one that works. He's jotted a few lines about calm, tried a verse or two on the changing of seasons, but nothing's feeling right. So he finally gives up the ghost and texts Dex.

me: Yo Dex. William J. Poindexter: what's up me: Can I ask you a weird favor? William J. Poindexter: ... William J. Poindexter: does this have anything to do with that drama girl me: No. me: I just need your help with my final. William J. Poindexter: which final me: Poetry and the Creative Process. William J. Poindexter: ...how the hell am i supposed to help YOU with poetry me: This is gonna sound weird... William J. Poindexter: it already sounds weird. me: Well this is gonna be weirder. me: I need to follow you around for a few days. William J. Poindexter: you... what? William J. Poindexter: you need to follow me where? me: Everywhere. I mean, not to class or the bathroom or anything. me: Just... let me be in the same room as you when you're doin shit. William J. Poindexter: why in the hell would i let you stalk me nurse me: how bout just 1 day me: just hang out with me for 1 day me: you won't even know I'm there me: it'll be chill man you'll see me: Will? William J. Poindexter: you're fuckin weird me: I know, I know. William J. Poindexter: ok ONE DAY me: chill. see you at team breakfast tomorrow? William J. Poindexter: ok fine William J. Poindexter: have i mentioned you're fuckin weird

Nursey makes sure he's as subtle as he can be about it. The next day, he doesn't even sit down next to Dex at team breakfast. He's down the table and across the way, trying not to steal little glances at Dex between downing bites of cereal and scrawling heavily inked lines on the nature of breakfast as a symbolic beginning. He feels Dex's gaze on him occasionally, but doesn't return it. There's no reason to. Dex's presence is enough.

After breakfast, Dex heads to class. Nursey walks a few feet behind him for the first quarter of the journey, trying to stay inconspicuous. Already thoughts are percolating in his head about walking behind versus walking next to, how sometimes it's okay to follow. At the corner near the bridge, though, Dex stops and turns back to him, frowning.

"Just fucking walk with me, Nurse," he says. "Stop being a creeper."

Nursey jogs up to his side. They keep walking. A whole new stanza erupts in his mind.

He lets Dex go to class, and then he has a class himself. They meet up at lunchtime. The dining hall is crowded, and Nursey can only find a seat clear across the way from where Dex sits down. He sits down, chomping on chicken tenders and mentally composing words on the nature of distance and separation. A minute later, his phone buzzes angrily on the table.

William J. Poindexter: just fucking come sit with me dude

Nursey scoops up tray and notebook and phone into his arms and does his level best not to lose any of the three as he makes his way across the cafeteria.

"So," Dex says as he sits down. "Is it helping?"

"Wha?"

"The following me around thing. Is it helping with your project?"

Nursey shrugs. "Yeah, kind of."

"I've been trying to figure out what this is all about," Dex says. "I don't really get creative types."

"I don't get them either, and I am one," Nursey says with a laugh.

"No kidding. I feel like I've seen nothing but you scribbling all semester long. You must be damn good at writing."

"I'm not bad," Nursey says. And then, without meaning to, he adds, "I'm better when I'm with you."

The apples of Dex's cheeks pink; he frowns hard, looking down at his plate. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Dude, I don't even know," Nursey says with a shrug. "Words are coming easier when you're around. Something I noticed a couple of months ago, and I've been coasting on it since."

"So I'm, like, your muse or something?"

Dex has a crooked smirk on his face, and Nursey isn't sure if he's getting chirped. But truth is truth. "If the shoe fits, man," he says, suddenly nervous about Dex's response.

But Dex just shrugs. "Oh, okay." He pauses. "Guess you should probably come over then."

Footsteps, thinks Nursey, are the basic beat of human activity. Every human, save those unable, learns to walk. Walking is the most basic form of human movement. Before cars, before bicycles and ice skates, humans moved, and thus lived, through walking.

So he listens to Dex's footfalls now, a few steps ahead of his own, and thinks there might be a poem in that.

(A few moments ago, he had looked at Dex, incredulous. "What?"

"You might as well come over," Dex repeated. "I'm not going anywhere after lunch. Just going home to study."

"Oh." Nursey said. "So wait, you're cool with that?"

"If it's gonna help you with your project. Besides, I already said it was okay. Remember?"

"Oh." Nursey's a little dazed by the easiness, the openness of Dex's invitation. "Right. Of course you did.")

"Hey, Nurse." The footfalls stop.

"Huh?"

Dex glances over his shoulder. "So. Are the words coming now?"

"Um..." Nursey tries to step forward as though untroubled. He nearly trips over his own feet. His hands go out as he tries to regain his balance. Out of the corner of his eye, he thinks he sees Dex smirking. "Yeah. Um. Yeah, they're coming."

"Good," Dex says, and now he's definitely smiling -- his lips curved upward in a thin arc. He waits a second, then keeps walking.

Nursey continues to follow, and it occurs to him that maybe it's no mistake that the basic unit of meter used in poetry is called the foot.

Dex's roommate is there when they arrive. He's a round tub of a guy, and he nods a hello as they enter, then returns to surfing the web. Dex nods back. Nursey gives a cursory "Sup." They stake out spots on opposite ends of Dex's bed. Nursey takes out his notebook, Dex his laptop, and the room falls into silence. Three sets of breath, just out of sync, no other noise.

Nursey listens to it. Wonders about human breath. Togetherness and aloneness. The three of them, separate islands in a small space. Each self-contained. An archipelago of human life. He loves that word -- archipelago. He should really put it in a poem one of these days.

He scrawls the word, in big slanting letters, on a blank page of his notebook.

"What does that mean?"

Nursey jumps. Dex is leaning over, peering at the page.

Shutting the notebook quickly, Nursey frowns. "What are you doing?"

"Just curious," Dex says. "You're not writing much."

Nursey straightens his shoulders, takes in a breath. Tries to make himself big and self-contained, a mountain. "It's a group of islands," he says. "An archipelago."

"That is one long word," Dex says flatly. "I suppose you like that kind of word."

"Yeah, maybe," Nursey says. "I suppose you don't."

"I don't know why you need that many sounds in a word."

"Syllables," Nursey corrects.

"See, that's another one. 'Sounds' works just fine. Why do you need a longer word for it?"

Nursey frowns. "Words should have weight," he says. "Meaning. Resonance, man. Like... they should sound like what they are. This word, archipelago. Ar. Chi. Pe. La. Go. It sounds like a bunch of islands. Islands of sound, you know? Come on, that's pretty dope."

"Too long," Dex says immediately, but then he's silent, and if Nursey looks hard, he thinks he can see the wheels turning.

Dex's roommate leaves for class about 45 minutes later. It's been quiet the whole time, save the chatter of Dex's fingers on the keyboard and the scratches of Nursey's pen. To the tune of Dex's typing, Nursey's been writing -- about feet and footsteps, about islands, about that moment when you're abruptly in someone's space and you never expected to be there. Stanzas curl down the page like creeping ivy.

When Dex leaned over, he'd scooted a few inches toward Nursey to see, and he hasn't returned to his original spot. They're still pretty much at opposite ends of the bed, Dex at the foot and Nursey curled up near the pillows, but they're that much closer. And Dex could banish Nursey to the desk chair, or the floor -- or go there himself -- but he doesn't. Strange, the distances people choose to put between themselves and others. And the people they choose to bridge those distances. Nursey writes two quick lines about it, then turns the page.

"Ugh," Dex says out of nowhere. "This problem set."

Nursey glances at him, but doesn't answer. There's nothing to say.

"Can I see what you're writing?" Dex asks after another minute.

This knocks Nursey for a loop. "What?"

"I just gotta look at something besides this screen." Dex waves a hand at the laptop. "And, you know. It's your poetry. I'm interested."

Nursey has to laugh a little. "Dude, we just had a conversation about how multisyllabic words are too much for you, and now you're interested?"

"Why not?" Dex doesn't take the "multisyllabic" bait. "I've never read your poems."

"Because they're not your thing!" Nursey doesn't mean to discourage him, but he doesn't know what to do with this sudden turnaround. "You've even told me you don't do poetry."

"Yeah, but..." Dex coughs. "I didn't know I inspired them."

Oh. Yeah, of course Dex would be interested in that. "Dude, I don't write odes to your red hair or sonnets about your freckles or anything. The words come when you're around, but that doesn't mean they're about you."

"No?" Is that disappointment in Dex's face? Nah, probably just his usual sour look. "What are they about, then?"

Feet and islands. "I dunno." Nursey flips through his book. "Um, just broad concepts, mostly. Morality, the fragility of life, the nature of failure. Stuff like that?"

Dex wrinkles his nose. "Failure? I make you write about failure?"

Nursey laughs, and he flips to that page. "It's not that kind of poem, dude." Scooting a bit closer, he passes over the notebook. "Here. Look."

Their fingers brush as Dex takes the notebook. Frowning, Dex mumbles the words. Nursey knows them well by now.

Failure is a book I have written many times. I set the type with hands ink-soaked and dark and watch the letters sink, butter-like, into burning parchment. Every year, the pages yellow and their edges curl, but I run my fingers over the words and murmur, smiling, 'I know this now.'

"It needs some editing," Nursey says.

Dex's face is a little pink. "It's good."

"It's... it is?"

"I mean, you said it," Dex says. "Poetry's not my thing. But I like the, I don't know, image? Or metaphor?" Lines crease his brow over the bridge of his nose. "It's just good."

Nursey wants to tell Dex, you're being really nice. He wants to say, thanks for that. He wants to say, if it's good, it's because of you.

He doesn't. He says, "Chill, man."

He takes back the notebook, but he doesn't scoot back against the corner of the bed. They're a few inches closer than they were. Nursey turns again to the blank page and starts to write about shoulders that almost touch and space that almost isn't. It's not a poem about them. There's still a good foot and a half between them. But it could be them, maybe. Someday.

Somewhere around the vicinity of four p.m. the words dry up. Nursey comes to the end of a stanza and abruptly discovers that's the end of the poem; he scowls at the page as though trying to scare the words into appearing. Sighing, he puts down his pen, flexes his writing hand, and glances over at Dex.

Dex is in that glazed-eyes place where it's clear he's only conscious of what's happening on his screen. His fingers move, quick skitters across the keyboard, and he stares, and Nursey marvels at what must be happening in that mind to direct those fingers so quickly and allow no other movement. The brain-to-fingers-to-keyboard-to-computer connection, happening in microseconds, an organic mind and an artificial one in a nearly instantaneous give-and take. What would happen, Nursey thinks, if human beings could access each other's minds through something as simple as the right sequence of touches?

As he watches, the clack of computer keys slows, and Dex slowly blinks his way out of singlemindedness. He turns, and there's something in the tilt of his jaw, the way the light hits the hollow of his cheek, that strikes Nursey. A kind of perfection, revealed for an instant in angle and line. When Dex's lips part, Nursey finds himself frustrated by the lack of clarity of his own vision. He inches closer, trying to get a better look.

"What?" Dex says. Nursey's gaze is on the curl of those lips into the W, their relaxation after the initial sound.

I want to kiss you, Nursey thinks. His heart thumps, and he shakes the thought away.

"Nothing," he says instead. "Looking for words."

Dex frowns. "I thought you said the words weren't about me."

"They're not." Nursey corrects himself. "Some of them are."

But maybe a lot of them are, if he looks at them closely. Dex's footfalls. Dex's shoulders. Dex's lonely perch on the bed, an island unto himself. There's a universe in Dex, somehow, and when he's around, Nursey can glimpse it.

"Well, stop staring," Dex says, but something changes around his eyes and mouth, then. "I mean. If you have to look, I guess it's okay. For your project."

"Yeah, okay." Nursey's still caught on Dex's features, the subtle relaxation when his expression changed. There's a whole poem there, if Nursey wanted to reach out and grab it. But his palm itches. "Can I actually see your hand for a minute?"

"My hand?" Dex lifts his right hand, the closest to Nursey, off the keyboard and draws it back protectively.

"Yeah." Nursey raises his own left arm, palm up. "Type on me."

"What?" Dex wrinkles his nose again.

"Like I'm a keyboard. Just - type on me for a bit. I wanna see if you can program me like a computer." Nursey offers the most winning grin he's got.

Dex says flatly, "You're crazy."

"So what if I am? Just for a second. Pretend I'm a computer. Try and code me."

"You're not a computer." But Dex sets his laptop down beside him and angles his body toward Nursey.

"Humor me, Poindexter. Just for a second. Just until the words come."

"You're crazy," Dex repeats, but he lifts his hands like a maestro sitting at a grand piano and rests his fingertips on Nursey's arm. He thinks for a moment, then begins typing.

His fingers come down on Nursey's arm, here and there, like scattered raindrops. Nursey marvels at the specificity of the sensation. Dex hits one spot and Nursey gets goosebumps. He hits another and a shiver wracks Nursey's spine. His fingers are quick and agile, and his face is stern -- that same singlemindedness, applied now to Nursey's body, fingers finding every button on Nursey's skin and expertly pushing.

"What are you typing?" Nursey asks through a strangely dry mouth.

"I'm writing a program to figure out the reasons you're so weird," Dex says. His mouth quirks. "Is this helping? Are the words coming?"

"Almost," Nursey says. "There's inspiration in this. Not sure how to describe it. It's in the way you're... making contact. The way your fingers feel."

Dex catches his gaze. "Are you sure you don't want a girl doing this to you?"

The answer comes simple as an exhalation. "No. It has to be you."

Dex blinks, gold-flecked eyes momentarily obscured, hidden suns. "Okay." He keeps typing.

Two sets of breath now, instead of three, Nursey thinks. And they're coming in near-unison now, just as Dex's knees are now tucked up close to Nursey's legs, just as they're face to face over the weak barrier of Nursey's outstretched arm. The archipelago, disrupted. Two islands merging into one.

"Continental drift," Nursey murmurs.

"Hm?" Dex doesn't stop typing, but he does look Nursey in the eyes again.

Were their faces this close before? Or is this how it always happens, so slow as to not be noticed, as though in geological time? Nursey could write endless verses on it, on humanity as geography, closeness and contact as features on a map. All he has to do is withdraw his arm and pick up his pen again.

Instead, he lifts his palm and curls his fingers around Dex's left hand.

The typing stops, and Dex's other hand falls, as though in defeat, to Nursey's elbow. "Nurse?"

"Poindexter," Nursey says, and then, "Will," because there's no room for surnames in this small a space.

They draw breaths in unison, exhale in unison. The curl of Nursey's hair brushes Dex's forehead.

Dex licks his lips quickly. "Nurse." His voice quavers. "Your words...?"

"My words can wait," Nursey says, and kisses him.

Dex's hand tightens on his arm. Nursey doesn't know if that's what he expected, or if he expected something different -- for Dex to pull away, maybe, or yell or storm out -- but that's what's happening, and Dex's other hand still curls warm and long-fingered in Nursey's palm. He's not pulling away -- no, he's kissing back -- and his lips are warm, his tongue a flicker of sweet heat as it finds Nursey's lower lip. Nursey thrills. Maybe it's possible, after all, to connect two minds through something as simple as the right touch.

Their lips part. They stare a moment, then find each other again. The second kiss is shorter than the first, but more tender, more searching. Dex's free hand wanders up to his shoulder and holds him there. Nursey's sure he feels Dex shudder. He reaches up with his own free hand, finds that perfect angle of jaw and cheek, and touches it with reverent fingers.

The kiss ends. They blink, stare, squint at each other like they've just been bathed in sudden sunlight.

"Nurse," Dex starts, rough gravel in his voice.

"Shh," Nurse says with a smile. "The words are coming."

Dex's grin is quickly hidden as he turns away. Nursey takes a minute to enjoy the blush that paints a background of pink against Dex's freckles. Then, he reaches for his notebook and starts to write.

[5hfanfiction]

LJ10 - Part 30

[9:10 pm] Camila: Hey, where are you? I can’t wait to see you.

[9:19 pm] Camila: Is your internet not working again?

[9:33 pm] Camila: Babe…it’s been more than thirty minutes. Are you okay?

[9:47 pm] Camila: I assume something has come up. Maybe we can video chat tomorrow.

[9:48 pm] Camila: Text me when you see this.

-

[10:33 pm] 1 missed call from Lauren

[10:35 pm] Lauren: I’m so sorry! I totally forgot about our chat plans…I was working on some construction stuff and didn’t have my phone with me.

[10:36 pm] Lauren: I’ll totally make it up to you! Promise. I love you and we’ll talk tomorrow.

[10:40 pm] Camila: Okay, I was getting worried. We’ll talk details tomorrow. Love you too.

[6:20 am] Camila: Too bad we couldn’t make it. I’m running on a tight schedule today. I don’t think I’ll be able to chat tonight. There’s a PTA meeting.

[6:44 am] Lauren: That sucks but it’s my fault for screwing up our date night. I hope you’re not too mad.

[7:11 am] Camila: No, I was a little upset last night but mostly because I didn’t get to see you. It’s been a while and I miss talking to you.

[7:14 am] Lauren: I miss talking to you too, babe. Next week we’ll make it a video chat twice as long.

[7:16 am] Camila: That sounds like a good idea. I have to get Lara to school now. We’ll text later. Love you.

[7:17 am] Lauren: Love you too and give her a kiss from me.

-

Video chat one week later

Camila: God, we finally made it. I can see your face again.

Lauren: I know. It’s been a crazy few weeks. But I’m so happy to see you…even if it’s just through a screen.

C: Better than nothing.

L: I agree. You look great by the way.

C: You haven’t lost your charm, I see.

L: Never.

C: Thanks. You look cute, too. I love the messy hair.

L: I fell asleep before I called.

C: Really?

L: Yeah, I didn’t want to but whatever. I was tired. Not tired anymore though.

C: How was your week? What have you been up to?

L: Nothing much except practice and being at the construction site.

C: How are things progressing over there?

L: It’s a new catastrophe every day.

C: Like what?

L: Just different stuff. I don’t want to bore you.

C: You’re not boring me with it. I’m curious what you do.

L: It’s architectural stuff. Even I get bored talking about it and it’s too complicated to explain really.

C: Well…okay.

L: How was your week?

C: I’ve had better days. Lara is having a hard time in school again.

L: Why?

C: Apparently some of the kids found out that she will skip a grade next year. A teacher mentioned something and now they’re hounding her for it.

L: That’s horrible. Let me talk to her.

C: She’s already in bed. I don’t think she was in a good mood today anyway. I feel so helpless because I want her to be proud of what she’s achieving. At the same time I understand that she feels like an outsider and has to leave her friends.

L: I get it. But those kids should leave her alone. If I was there, I would give their parents a piece of my mind.

C: I’ve tried that. Believe me, I’ve tried everything you can possible try. It’s frustrating because she doesn’t deserve that. Ugh, let’s change the subject. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

L: Okay, well…I don’t have any interesting stories to be honest.

C: Did your mother call you this week?

L: No. Why?

C: She called me.

L: She did? What did she want from you?

C: She asked me about the wedding.

L: What wedding?

C: Our wedding.

L: Oh…but I don’t understand. There is no wedding yet.

C: That’s why she called. She wanted to know if we had set a date. I told her that we hadn’t discussed details. Obviously we’re going to tell her once we do.

L: Why did she call you instead of me?

C: I don’t know.

L: That’s definitely strange.

C: I mean, if we are talking about it; do you have an idea on when we should get married?

L: I haven’t thought it to be honest.

C: At all?

L: I didn’t think it was something we would have to worry about for now. Do you want it to be soon?

C: I didn’t have something specific in mind either but you’re coming back in August-

L: You want to get married right away?

C: No, that’s not what I mean. But…don’t you have a time frame?

L: Sometimes people are engaged for years before they actually get married.

C: You want to wait a few years?

L: No, like I said. I haven’t thought about it. But I think we should wait until I come back before we make any decisions. Let’s move in together first and see how things work best.

C: I’m trying really hard not to read into things here but you sound very hesitant all of a sudden.

L: Camila, we don’t have to rush things. Let’s take one step at a time.

C: You’re probably right.

L: I’ll move in and then we can discuss everything else.

C: Speaking of. I saw this incredibly cute house this morning that’s for sale. It’s close to Lara’s school and in a great school district in general. The house would need some remodeling but that’s what you wanted anyway so you can give it your own style. I even took some pictures that I can send you.

L: I don’t think that was such a good idea, actually.

C: What do you mean?

L: Your apartment is fine for now. We shouldn’t put this kind of stress on us right away. Now that I’m busy with construction and remodeling here, I don’t think we need that extra strain on us.

C: But…you were so excited about the idea when I was in Orlando?

L: I hadn’t thought it through.

C: The house or something else?

L: What does that mean?

C: I feel like you’re questioning whether we’re going to last or not.

L: Don’t put words in my mouth. I never said that.

C: You never say anything, Lauren. We barely spoke to each other since I came back from Orlando. Whenever we do, you barely talk.

L: Because there’s nothing to tell!

C: Obviously there is if you’ve had all these thoughts about not wanting to buy a bigger house anymore and postponing the wedding indefinitely.

L: You’re seriously overreacting.

C: Am I? You’re pulling away and I don’t understand why.

L: I’m not pulling away! I think it’s reasonable to say that we wait.

C: Wait for what?

L: For things to settle in.

C: So you’re not having doubts?

L: No.

C: Okay…if you say so then I’m going to trust in that. The last thing I want to do is fight.

L: I don’t want to fight either.

C: I’m sorry. The distance is starting to get me, I feel. Missing you makes me a little crazy.

L: That’s okay. I think we’re doing well and if we keep things in perspective, everything will be fine.

C: You’re right.

L: Let’s watch a movie together, alright?

C: Yeah, that’s probably best.

-

Video chat three weeks later

Lauren: Hey you.

Camila: Hola, mi amor. How are you?

Lauren: I’m okay.

Camila: Your text earlier said that you hurt your ankle? Is it better already?

Lauren: I thought I sprained it but it’s just a bruise.

Camila: Good, I’m glad.

Lauren: Hurts like a motherfucker, though.

Lara: That’s a really bad word.

Lauren: Oh shit!

Camila: Lauren!

Lauren: Sorry! I didn’t know Lara was there.

Camila: Lara, come in here. Say hello.

Lara: Hi Lauren.

Lauren: Lauren? What happened to Pancakes?

Lara: I think I’m too old for that.

Lauren: Wow, way to break my heart, little one. Or should I call you big one now?

Lara: I’m still little in comparison to you so it’s okay.

Lauren: You talk like a grown-up already. You’re not supposed to become an adult for another eleven years.

Lara: You just want me to call you Pancakes.

Lauren: Well…yeah.

Lara: What do I get in return?

Lauren: Excuse me? You’ve been hanging around Dinah for too long.

Dinah: I heard that!

Lauren: Jeez, is everyone sitting around the laptop?

Camila: I’m in the kitchen because Dinah and Lara wanted to cook dinner for me. But I wanted to have an eye on them before they burn down the entire place.

Dinah: You’re exaggerating, Mila.

Camila: The last time you did this, I came home to the sound of smoke alarms.

Dinah: That was a test and now I know what to do. Go away. You’re making me nervous when you watch me like that.

Lauren: Man, I miss you. All of you.

Lara: We miss you too, Pancakes.

Lauren: Thanks. That makes me feel better.

Camila: Alright, if you think you have this under control, I’m going to my room to talk to Lauren until dinner is done.

Lara: Bye, Lauren! Love you.

Lauren: Love you too.

Dinah: Twenty minutes and we’re probably done. So don’t do something crazy.

Camila: Dinah!

Dinah: I’m just saying. Bye, Lauren.

Lauren: Have fun cooking you two, bye.

C: Okay, we’re alone now.

L: You really have your hands full with them.

C: Tell me about it. It’s like having two children. And Lara is the better behaved one.

L: Sounds about right. How is everything else going? Have you packed for camp with the national team?

C: Yeah, I’m done. Austin is going to pick up Lara tomorrow morning and then I’m off. I’m still bummed they didn’t invite you. I was hoping they would and we could see each other.

L: There’s no guarantee I’ll get back into the team.

C: Of course you will. You’re the best player out there.

L: Time will tell, I guess. Have you decided if you’re going to see your parents?

C: Not yet. We’re going to be very close to my hometown but I’m not sure I want to see them.

L: But you’re on better terms, right?

C: Better terms, yes. Those aren’t exactly the best terms though. Usually they see Lara and spend time with her. I’m not certain what would happen if it was just the three of us with no distractions. We’d either fight at some point or sit in silence probably.

L: You don’t know that. However, your hesitation is understandable.

C: There is something I’m thinking about doing while I’m out there.

L: What?

C: I’ve never…I’ve never been to Sofi’s grave. And I think it’s time I go.

L: I didn’t know that. Sounds like a big step.

C: It is. Lara is getting older, like she said. And I want her to know everything about me and our family. Before I do that, I have to face it and find some kind of closure. I mean, I don’t think there’s ever closure when it comes to loss but closure to the pain.

L: Absolutely. I’m proud of you because I know how hard that is for you.

C: I’m not sure I’ll be able to go through with it but I want to try.

L: Yeah, and if you can’t handle it then that’s okay too. Don’t put any pressure on yourself. It’ll happen when you’re ready.

C: Thank you. It feels good to talk about it.

L: Any time.

C: There is something else that I wanted to tell you. Don’t freak out.

L: Great introduction.

C: It’s nothing to worry about.

L: That’s what they all say before dropping a bomb on someone.

C: Lauren, please. Have an open mind, okay?

L: Fine, I’m listening.

C: Ariana wrote me.

L: Ariana, as in your ex-girlfriend Ariana?

C: Yes, but it wasn’t like that.

L: Now I’m definitely intrigued.

C: You know she’s doing very well with her music.

L: What does that have to do with you?

C: Well, she said she wanted to talk to me when I was in California. She didn’t want to be too specific in her e-mail but apparently she has an offer she wants to make.

L: An offer?

C: She knows that I write my own music. We used to do it together a lot when we were friends. I think she wants me to work on something for her.

L: Wait, hold on. She wants you to work for her on music?

C: Yeah, I think so.

L: When have you become a musician?

C: What?

L: Don’t get me wrong. I know you love music and you’ve been writing some things but I thought it was just a hobby.

C: It was.

L: And it’s not anymore?

C: I don’t know. This is simply a meeting and I don’t even know what she wants.

L: So you want to see her?

C: I’d like to, yes. But I wanted to talk to you first.

L: Sounds like you made up your mind already.

C: Lauren, there’s nothing going on that shouldn’t be going on. She’s an old friend at this point.

L: Well then maybe I should give Emily a call and ask if she wants to hang out.

C: Are you serious right now?

L: You can’t expect me to be happy about you wanting to see and possibly work with your ex.

C: There was nothing substantial between us. We dated for a short amount of time but we were friends for a long time before that. That was more important than the few months we were together.

L: That’s how you see it but my viewpoint is a little different.

C: It’s nothing like you and Emily. You two lived together and dated for a long time. That’s different.

L: You chose Ariana over me so I don’t think it was as insignificant as you’re making it out to be now.

C: My God, Lauren. That was years ago.

L: You know what, if you want to see her that badly then go ahead.

C: Lauren, come on.

L: Even if it wasn’t Ariana you’re meeting, when did you start thinking about a music career? And shouldn’t you have discussed that with me when you’re always the one telling me to be more vocal.

C: Don’t do that.

L: Do what?

C: Make this about something that it’s not.

L: I think that’s a fair point.

C: You’re being everything but fair.

L: Oh really?

C: Yes, really. You’re being very condescending right now.

L: I’m simply stating facts.

C: You’re doing it again.

L: And you’re deflecting my question. When did all of this happen? I’ve never heard you talk about making music for a living before.

C: Because I haven’t thought about it, Lauren. It’s an idea, an offer that just came up. You’re making it seem like I’m going to run off tomorrow to tour the world.

L: That’s unlikely since you’re too scared to sing in front of anyone let alone an audience.

C: Wow, you’ve upgraded from condescending to full-on insulting.

L: Maybe that was a bit harsh but I’m confused.

C: What’s so confusing about that?

L: How do you plan on doing this? Are you going to move to California then to work with her? I thought we were finally done with the long-distance when I get back to New York.

C: She knows that I’m in New York with Lara so I don’t think that’s what she wants. And it’s definitely not what I want.

L: What is it that you want then?

C: Look, I don’t expect you to understand this but I don’t have a plan for what I do after soccer. Obviously I won’t be able to play forever. And unlike you, I didn’t go to college and have a second leg to stand on as soon as I decide to retire. You have another passion in architecture and I always supported your decisions. Why can’t you support me and my passion when I’m trying to figure out if this is something I could do?

L: I…just think it’s different.

C: You know what, I’m exhausted. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

L: Neither do I. Have a good night and enjoy your time in California. You’re free to do whatever you want with whoever you want there. It’s not like my opinion matters.

C: Really, Lauren?

L: What? Isn’t that what you wanted to hear?

C: No, not at all. But I’m too upset to deal with your attitude right now. Have a good night.

I ended the video chat before Lauren was able to say anything else.

We had had our fair share of fights ever since we had been long-distance but this was by far the worst one. I wasn’t used to my fiancée being so enraged, especially with me. Her reaction was a lot worse than I had anticipated. While I understood her hesitation because of Ariana, I was hurt she couldn’t see any of my points. The meeting wasn’t about rekindling something with my ex-girlfriend but possibly ensuring a new path for my life after soccer. Out of all people, I expected her to understand that at least.

Visibly upset I returned to the kitchen and being around Lara and Dinah was lifting my spirits. I tried to forget about my conversation with Lauren. My focus was on my best friend and my daughter who had done surprisingly well with dinner. There was no fire and the food was actually delicious. Surely I would have been happier without the fight beforehand but that was out of my control for now.

After putting Lara to bed, I found myself sitting in the living room and staring at the TV. Only I wasn’t really watching what was on. My thoughts had gone back to my fiancée in Orlando who was outraged at the idea of me meeting Ariana even if it was a great chance for me to build something substantial.

Dinah walked out of her room and joined me. She grabbed the remote from my hand before taking a seat next to me on the couch. Her glance in my direction was short. Refocusing on the screen, she took another glance and longer this time.

“Are you okay?” she asked clearly unsure.

“Yeah, I’m just thinking,” I replied which wasn’t a lie.

“Are you nervous because of tomorrow?” Dinah wanted to know. “I told you that you can come with me to see my family if you don’t want to see your parents. They’d love to see you.”

“It’s not that,” I sighed quietly.

“What is it then? Camp will be fine,” she said soothingly.

“No, it’s about Lauren,” I revealed hesitatingly. “I told her about Ariana’s e-mail.”

“Ah,” Dinah nodded. “She wasn’t pleased, I assume.”

“She was furious!” I recalled the green-eyed woman’s anger.

“She’s just jealous. Don’t worry, she’ll get over it,” my best friend tried to appease but I shook my head.

“I don’t think so,” I responded. “Lauren was very upset. I don’t think I’ve seen her that angry in a long time.”

“You’ve been fighting a lot lately,” Dinah acknowledged.

“I know,” I sighed louder this time. “Part of it is definitely the distance and the more time passes, the harder it gets. But I almost feel like it’s more than that.”

“Why?”

“I’m going to sound like a pessimist,” I said and met my friend’s gaze. “But I feel like Lauren is pulling away from me.”

“That’s nonsense,” the Polynesian argued. “That woman is crazy about you.”

“Yeah maybe but that doesn’t mean something isn’t bothering her,” I gave back. “She’s more closed off than ever lately. It’s been weeks since I came back from Orlando and I thought our engagement would make things easier. But now she doesn’t talk to me and whenever she does, I feel like it’s not what she’s really feeling.”

“Listen,” Dinah muted the TV so we were able to talk without a distraction. “You’re probably scared because you don’t see each other. I don’t think she’s pulling away. You don’t want to hear this but maybe she’s not telling you stuff because she’s just boring, Mila.”

I laughed gently at her remark because I was aware of her attempt to cheer me up.

“Ugh, I hate this,” I whined and threw my head back.

“Once she sees that you and Ariana are strictly talking business, she’ll come around,” Dinah replied convinced.

“It’s not the fact that she was jealous that shocked me. I understand that part, believe me I do,” I confessed truthfully. “She was not happy about me making music in general it seemed.”

“What?” the taller one looked surprised.

“Obviously she was angry but some of the things she said were really hurtful,” I shrugged mildly.

“Like?” her protective side became more evident.

“She asked when I had decided to become a musician all of a sudden,” I remembered. “And I wouldn’t be able to go on tour because I was too scared.”

“Hold up,” Dinah sat up straight. “You know I love that girl but she’s not going to treat you like that.”

“I don’t think she wanted to hurt me-“

“I don’t care what she wants,” she cut me off and put up her hand to stop me. “She should be happy for you, period. I understand she’s not happy about Ariana but those comments have nothing to do with that. You supported her in everything she wanted to do and you should expect the same.”

“That’s what I said but somehow it’s different when I want to pursue a passion of mine apparently,” I answered.

“She’s lucky she’s not with us tomorrow because I would have beat her ass for those comments,” Dinah obviously joked but I sensed her genuine concern.

“I’m not even sure I’m going to that meeting with Ariana, to be honest,” I said meekly.

“You have to!” she argued. “Don’t do this. Don’t let her take something away from you that you genuinely want. Now I’m getting really upset because you’re entering toxic town.”

“Toxic town?” I asked confused.

“That’s toxic relationship behavior,” Dinah explained her viewpoint. “You two have a long history of toxic stuff but that was behind you. This is about you and you should be able to make decisions for yourself without her making you feel guilty for it. There is nothing wrong with seeing Ariana if it’s about your future and an opportunity that you might not get again. If Lauren’s jealousy is so strong that you’re changing your mind although you don’t want to, that’s not okay. And I’m not going to let it happen.”

Listening to her argument, I had to admit that she was right. I wanted to take the meeting. The only reason I considered not going was Lauren’s reaction. Obviously relationships were about compromise and taking my fiancée’s feelings into account was a given. But her feelings were elusive to me at this point. Her sheer reluctance to listen to my side of the argument and unwillingness to trust my judgment hurt me.

I wasn’t certain what I would do. The only thing I knew was that Lauren and I didn’t communicate in the way we had planned to. That worried me more and more because I didn’t want my love for her to blind me from possible opportunities that I wouldn’t hesitate to take otherwise.

-

Clearly nervous, I felt my leg shaking while sitting at the long table in the office space. For some reason I hadn’t expected such a formal setting for my meeting with Ariana. It was the building of her record label. She had asked me to meet her here since she was busy with other meetings there as well.

I had been in California since yesterday. Camp with the national team was going well and Dinah was with her parents on our evening off whereas I had come to LA. We were going to stay for a few more days but this had been the best time to meet with Ariana whose schedule was packed at all times. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting but didn’t have any more time to analyze before I heard the door opening.

The light-brunette entered and smiled warmly as she approached me. She looked different. Definitely more made-up but that was probably part of what she did. As a performer I assumed she had to present herself in a certain way at all times. I suddenly felt underdressed in a simple shirt and jeans.

“Hey,” she greeted joyfully. “It’s so good to see you.”

“Nice to see you too,” I replied and we exchanged a hug before sitting down.

“I’m sorry for bringing you here but I wasn’t sure how else we would be able to meet,” Ariana explained.

“No, that’s okay,” I said quickly. “I know my way around.”

“Right,” she smiled. “I always forget you grew up here for some reason. What’s it like to be back in Cali?”

“It’s weird,” I admitted. “A part of me doesn’t feel like it’s home anymore, I guess.”

“So New York is treating you well then?” she asked.

“Yeah, I love it. It’s obviously a huge contrast to this but I believe I was meant to be there,” I answered.

“That’s good to hear. I’m glad you’re doing well,” she added genuinely. “How’s Lara?” her smile widened.

“She’s doing great,” I said and couldn’t help but reciprocate her smile in thought of my daughter.

“Is she…like seven now?” the musician wondered.

“Seven, yes,” I concurred.

“That’s crazy,” she shook her head in disbelief.

“I know,” I agreed with a nod. “She’s in school and might skip a grade because the teachers believe she could do it.”

“I’m not surprised,” Ariana grinned. “That kid was always smart beyond her years. I don’t know if she remembers me but give her a hug from me if she does.”

“Of course,” I replied before changing the subject. “But what about you? How are you doing? The music is doing amazing obviously.”

“I’m…busy,” she laughed gently. “It’s been a whirlwind which is why it’s insane to imagine how much time has actually passed. Sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday that we were in Boston.”

“A lot has changed since then,” I remarked.

“It sure has,” the other brunette said. “Everything is wonderful. I’m finally doing what I always wanted to do and I’m so grateful.”

“I’m happy you’re happy,” I spoke sincerely. “Especially because we didn’t end things on good terms and-“

“Camila,” she cut me off. “We don’t have to bring up old stuff. I’m over it, you’re over it and that’s not why I brought you here.”

“Oh sure,” I was slightly caught off guard by her response. “I guess, I was surprised you asked to meet me in the first place.”

“It’s unexpected,” Ariana owned up. “You showing up is just as unexpected though. I didn’t think you would to be honest.”

“I wasn’t sure I would either,” I confessed since there had been some hesitancy on my end.

“Well, I’m glad you did and obviously you’re wondering what sparked this meeting,” she said as I nodded my head in confirmation. “Like I mentioned in the e-mail, I have an offer for you. I don’t know what your response is going to be but here’s the deal. I’m going to be on tour for the next six months. After that I’m coming back to record my first LP.”

“Wow, congratulations,” I smiled lightly at her.

“Thank you,” she took a deep breath. “I’ve been working really hard for this. The touring and putting out EP’s brought me here so I finally feel confident enough to take the next step. And I want it to be the best it could possibly be.”

“I still don’t understand what that has to do with me,” I gave back slowly.

“I want you to write for me,” Ariana finally revealed her intention. “This is not about anything but music. I’ve been working with some incredible people but…you have something special. Those times you would sing to yourself at the diner, making up lyrics and melodies are forever embedded in my brain. I never understood why you didn’t pursue it further. And I know that you’re playing soccer again, successfully. I don’t want to take that away from you. However, I have to at least ask, otherwise I’d never forgive myself.”

“Honestly, I’m flattered-“ I wanted to say but she interrupted me gently.

“Wait, before you say something,” she cleared her throat. “I know you’re happy in New York. Even though it would be more practical for you to be in LA, I have a different proposition for you. I have a few producers in New York that are also working on some things for me. You could arrange everything with them. They can get you in the studio if you have some demos to record, whatever you need. All you have to do is write and compose.”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled.

“We’re going to pay you a shitload of money,” she laughed and I joined in. “For simply working on it during the next six months. I know you’ll be able to write twice as much as others in that time. Whatever you feel best about, send it to me at the end and if we end up using something, you’ll get paid a shitload again.”

“It’s not about the money,” I sighed deeply. “And it’s a very generous offer.”

“You don’t want to make music then?” Ariana asked carefully.

“I do,” I disagreed which added to her confusion. “I’m not sure I can handle everything: soccer, Lara…and other things as well.”

“Other things?” she chuckled. “You don’t think I’ve seen that huge ring on your finger?”

“Right,” I bit my lower lip anxiously.

“And I get it,” she didn’t give up. “You have a profession already and a family to balance. But this is a chance for you to do something new that could possibly open doors.”

“I know,” I whispered clearly deep in thought.

“Is your…soon-to-be spouse against it?” her question was posed cautiously.

“Um…kind of,” I admitted.

“They shouldn’t be,” the performer responded firmly. “You don’t have to tell them about our past. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“That’s not necessary,” I laughed mildly. “She knows all about it. It’s Lauren.”

Ariana was clearly surprised to hear that but didn’t look upset. Her eyes widened for a moment before she inhaled and exhaled loudly.

“Obviously she has nothing to worry concerning me,” her words were spoken genuinely. “I think the three of us know better than anyone else that I was never a real threat to whatever you two have. And I frankly don’t care if you are together, married or whatever. This is about music and therefore business. If you don’t think you can do it, I absolutely respect that. I almost expected it to be honest. But my offer stands.”

“I appreciate that,” I answered quietly. “Can I just have some time to think?”

“Of course,” Ariana agreed. “My manager will send you all the details. Read it, take your time and get back to me within the next two weeks. If you don’t take it, I’ll have to find someone else unfortunately.”

“Alright,” I said and heard her phone ringing.

“That’s my cue,” she got up from her chair. “I have to run but thank you for seeing me.”

“Sure, thank you for the offer,” I replied and we hugged shortly.

“Good luck with everything,” Ariana told me before hastily leaving the room.

She was chasing her goals and dreams, whereas I was left behind wondering what my dreams actually were.

-

As if this trip back home hadn’t been emotionally stirring enough, I found myself at the cemetery. After meeting with Ariana two days ago, I hadn’t found the headspace to focus on anything other than the offer she had made me. I had to take some time to process. That didn’t mean I hadn’t thought about coming here all the time. I had. Even now that I was here, I still felt uncertain of what I wanted to do.

The idea of my sister being buried here was unimaginable to me. There was that childlike hope that Sofi wasn’t gone. She could come back and this had been a mistake. For the longest time, I couldn’t let go of that hope. It had kept me alive alongside Lara. Otherwise I wasn’t sure I could have survived without her. This was a test to see if I had become stable enough to face that pain.

The pain was there. It always had been. Suppressing it for all these years had done nothing really. Perhaps it would never fully subside. What I was more afraid of was letting go. If I accepted her death and went on to live my life, wasn’t that crazy? It felt like a foreign concept. How could anyone do that?

I was afraid of letting go. Even if that meant letting go of the pain. A part of me didn’t want to because the agony had kept her alive inside me. As twisted as it was, I rather felt miserable missing her than feeling good about forgetting her. I knew that I wouldn’t forget her. That was impossible. But I felt guilty for simply contemplating the idea of accepting her death.

Contemplation was a good word. It was all I had done for the past thirty minutes without opening the gate to the cemetery. What if I wasn’t ready? What if going to see her grave would destroy me? What if coming here had been a mistake? What if Sofi didn’t want me to do this? What if-

My thoughts were interrupted by someone tapping on my shoulder. I turned around and saw an elderly woman smiling faintly at me.

“Excuse me,” she whispered and it took me a moment to realize I was blocking her from going inside.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” I said and opened the gate for her.

“Are you okay, my dear?” she asked with the most soothing voice I had ever heard.

“I…don’t know,” I answered truthfully.

“It’s alright,” she gave my shoulder a gentle rub. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to ask,” I suddenly heard a familiar voice, looked to my right and was shocked to the core to see Lauren standing there. The young woman wearing black from head to toe met my gaze and smiled unsurely.

“What…” I whispered in complete disbelief that she was here while the elderly women walked past me and inside.

“…am I doing here?” Lauren finished my sentence and I nodded. “I’m not entirely sure how that happened either.”

“You…I mean…we haven’t spoken since that fight,” I stammered still rattled.

“I know,” she sighed deeply and approached me.

“How did you know I was here?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Dinah told me”, my fiancée explained. “She almost beat me up but after explaining that I came here to support you, she told me where to find you.”

“Support me?” I repeated carefully.

“Yes,” Lauren stepped closer and took both of my hands in hers. “I’m sorry, Camila. You were right about everything. I wasn’t supporting you although that’s what you’ve done for me ever since we got back together. All of my struggles and decisions to find new solutions for myself, you never questioned them. You trusted me enough to know that I wouldn’t do something to jeopardize us. Only that I did by not doing the same for you.”

As I listened to her, I felt my eyes filling with tears. There were so many emotions going on inside me and her heartfelt apology was the tipping point for me. The green eyes looked at me with unmatchable tenderness and remorse.

“Please don’t cry,” she breathed softly, letting go of one hand to stroke my cheek. “You have no idea how sorry I am.”

“I can’t help it,” I replied and felt one tear rolling down my cheek. “It’s been a rough couple of days. And the fact that we didn’t talk was scary. I thought that…you might have pulled away so far that I couldn’t reach you anymore. I was afraid you were going to…end this.”

“No,” she shook her head empathically. “I was an idiot. But I’m not that much of an idiot to let you go again.”

“But you did pull away,” I said quietly.

“I did,” she confirmed slowly.

“Why?” I needed to know.

“I…got scared,” she admitted with a sigh. “When you proposed to me, I was happier than I had ever been. But you left and my old insecurities started coming back. I felt like I wouldn’t be enough for you and what if you left me again…all that horrible stuff that I was working so hard on to overcome. It came back and knocked me out. And I felt like a failure for being so insecure which made me angry. I never should have taken it out on you but I did. My first instinct is to pull away and if that doesn’t work anymore, I hurt you before you hurt me. It’s stupid, I know.”

“No, it’s not,” I whispered. “I never wanted to pressure you.”

“You didn’t,” Lauren insisted and her eyes seemed to plead with me. “This was all me. And I don’t want to keep messing up, Camila. I don’t want to hurt you. Seeing you cry because of me is the worst feeling you can imagine. I don’t expect you to forgive me. If you need some time to think then I understand.”

“I don’t need time,” I gave back quickly. “All I need is your support, or at least an open mind about things before you jump to conclusions.”

“You have my support, I promise,” the dark-haired beauty made sure to look into my eyes while saying it.

“And your willingness to talk to me when it matters,” I added. “I know you don’t feel like talking sometimes and I’ll try to give you that space without taking it personal. But you can’t shut me out when it comes to the important things.”

“I agree and I’ll do better,” she replied without hesitation.

“Okay,” I breathed.

It wasn’t the first time we had discussed this but whenever we did, we took another step forward. The truth was that Lauren had opened up a lot over the course of our relationship. I didn’t want her to change her personality that was obviously prone to keep her emotions to herself until she was ready to share them. It was a part of her. As long as we improved, I was happy. Perhaps we had needed this big fight to finally understand where our limits were. I certainly felt like I had reached mine and apparently so had she. Otherwise she wouldn’t have come to see me all of a sudden.

“I love you,” Lauren whispered lovingly and I detected some insecurity in the emerald orbs.

“I love you too,” I replied with a soft smile to reassure her.

My fiancée pulled me in for a hug and I felt better instantly. Being apart for such long periods of time wasn’t as easy as I had thought. A simple hug like this did wonders to reconcile or simply connect with each other. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of safety as she held on to me. We stayed in our embrace for a few more moments before pulling away.

“So, do you want me to go with you?” she asked carefully. “Or do you need to do this alone?”

It wasn’t even a question to me. I took her hand in mine.

“I’d love some support,” I said in a low voice.

“You got it,” she replied softly and squeezed my hand.

Lauren opened the gate and let me go in first. Following right behind, I felt her hand gently placed on my back to show her genuine care for me. It was a good feeling to have because I noticed myself shutting down as we walked closer to the designated area. The thought of my sister here was unbearable. I had two options: break down or shut off. My way of dealing with pain was clearly the latter.

By the time we arrived at her grave, I had detached myself as far as I possibly could so the anguish wouldn’t crush me. I looked at Sofi’s name on the tombstone. My throat felt as if someone was choking me. I couldn’t breathe for a moment and felt my jaw clenching. Lauren’s hand was still on my back as I shook my head lightly.

“This is so stupid,” I scoffed to cope. “Am I really supposed to believe that she’s here? Like in the movies when people talk to the person as if they are.”

“I don’t know,” Lauren replied softly and I felt her eyes on me.

“I can’t do that,” I said restively.

“That’s okay,” my fiancée spoke gently and exhaled lightly. “How about I try it first?” she suggested and I furrowed my eyebrows. “Then you can judge for yourself and I’m acting as the guinea pig.”

Lauren smiled at me before withdrawing her hand and taking a very deep breath. She took one step forward and faced the black headstone. I was too disconnected to react but simply watched her attempting to help me manage the situation.

“Hi Sofi,” she started and cleared her throat. “I know you don’t know me but I’m Lauren. It’s too bad we didn’t get a chance to meet because I would have loved that. Camila only says good things about you…well, I guess she’s biased but I trust her. She’s having a hard time believing you’re here. To be honest, I agree with her. If you could be anywhere you want, why would you choose this place? You could be at Disney World or something. Wow, I think I’ve been in Orlando for too long.”

I noticed the other brunette beginning to ramble which made me unclench my jaw and almost smile at her adorableness.

“But you know what I mean, right?” she continued. “Anyway, I just thought I’d introduce myself in case you are in fact here and able to hear us. I don’t know how this works, and I don’t even know if I believe in it, but if you see my grandma around, could you tell her that I miss her. How selfish of me to use you as a messenger but perhaps it’s not a big deal to you. And uh…tell her that it was me who broke that vase when I was ten. She thought it was my cousin but it was me and I never owned up to it. I still feel bad about that. Obviously it was an accident and I should have told her the truth. However, the vase was very ugly! I think it was for the best. Don’t tell her that part though.”

“You probably noticed that I’m not good at this. It would be a lot easier if you were able to actually answer and I could just listen,” Lauren’s voice was quieter now. “Anyhow, this is good practice because I should talk more. At least when it’s important. Your sister is teaching me that. I know, the irony. She was the one who barely spoke two words when we first met. Now I understand why and it was because she missed you. She still does. The worst part is, she blames herself for what happened to you.”

“I know you don’t agree with that but that’s the dilemma of you not being able to speak to her again. If there is any way for you to help her with that guilt, that would be great. I know the grief won’t go away that easily. Maybe not ever and I can understand that. There’s a loss that is too painful to fully heal. The guilt however, I don’t want her to feel. And I know you don’t want it either. So please, wherever you are, can you give her that little bit of peace? I don’t know how but I think if anyone can do it, it’s you.”

Lauren suddenly stopped and turned around to face me. She looked concerned and it took me a second to realize why. I had released a loud sob without noticing. There were tears streaming down my face, my body was shaking and I felt close to completely breaking down. I sank to my knees and started crying uncontrollably. The other woman rushed to my side to console me. I heard her apologizing for making me upset but I shook my head. It wasn’t about her.

“She’s dead,” I sobbed and looked into the green eyes filled with tears as well. “Sofi…she’s really gone. I’m never going to see her again,” I cried profusely and barely managed to utter those words.

“I’m sorry,” Lauren simply replied, her voice trembling.

I couldn’t speak any more because my crying was too intense. It was by far the most emotional I had felt in a very long time. Perhaps it was the most I had cried ever. The realization was a hard one to grasp. I had avoided this pain for many years. Still, I had felt it build up inside with every year that passed and me not addressing it. Now it was bursting out of me without holding back.

It was seemingly impossible for me to stop crying. I was sobbing like a little child and while I didn’t want anyone to see me like this, it felt incredibly comforting to have Lauren with me. She let me cry, didn’t urge me to stop and simply sat with me. Her hand was on my back again, rubbing it gently to sustain a connection that I felt physically since everything else was a blur at this point.

I remembered her words: ‘You have my support, I promise.’

If I could have pinpointed one moment where I had needed her support, it was this one. She definitely kept her promise.

—–

A/N: This one is a bit angsty but as you can tell, a lot of the story arcs coming to an end. I’ve said it on my tumblr/twitter before, so this shouldn’t be a big surprise. There are only very few chapters of the story left. With that being said, I’m obviously taking my time with them to make sure I’m happy with the end. Thank you for all the support up until now and this has nothing to do with recent events, I promise. I believe the story is close to coming full circle and I’ve had it planned for a while now.

As always, feedback is appreciated.

Have a lovely Sunday - Jazmin

[marymuft]

Can’t Sleep Survey

Did you cry when you first watched Titanic? I think I teared up.

What was the last thing you did before doing this quiz? Peeing

What would your parents do if you came home with a tattoo? I have four. They just say “Lemme see it” now. 

Ever purposely broken your iPod/phone just for a new one? no.

Ever kissed someone with a tongue piercing? No.

Gotten high in the past 24 hours? :)

Has a friend ever made you extremely angry? Yes.

Are your parents divorced? Nope.

If you got kicked out, where would you go? Uhh. Well, I’d text Liz, Diane, Ashley, maybe Dana, and see if they could house me til Damion realizes he’s stupid.

If any of your friends got kicked out, would your parents let them stay with you? I’m sure they would have when I lived with them. They put up some of my brother’s friends.

You’re locked in a room with the last person who hurt you, what happens? I don’t know who that is right now? Ashley’s parents? It’d be fine, we’d play cards.

Injured someone in the last week? Not to my knowledge

Do you like Pokemon? I like the pokemans.

Would you get your feet tattooed? Did that already.

Have you kissed more than ten people this year? Nope.

Have you told anybody you loved them today and meant it? Yes.

What was the last thing you and your mom talked about? What time Evelynn was coming over tomorrow.

Do you know people that smoke weed? Yep.

What was the most boring thing you did today? Woke up.

Last kiss drunk or sober? Not sober. 

How do you feel right now? I’m a little tired. Lil wired. Dry throat.

What were you doing last night at midnight? In my bed on my laptop.

You think that stars are people we lost? They’re just big balls of gas.

What are your plans for tonight? Go to sleep.

Is there any band/artist you would love to see right now? The Matches would be so cool to see.

What is/was your worst subject in school? I wasn’t really bad at any of the academic ones. But, GYM, if that counts.

When’s the last time you cried? I def cried this week. Probably... Tuesday.

Would it be more likely of you to fail science or math? Science.

Do you find it rude when people text when they’re talking to you? Only if it’s a serious conversation. 

Do you tell your parents everything? Nope.

Do people say you look like a certain celebrity? No, but I have gotten very different ones through the years.

Who do you think you look like? My mom

Name a flaw that you think you have: My teeth.

Name something that you like about yourself: I’m super compassionate.

What’s a word that you overuse? “Okay”

Had a blast from the past recently? I’m in my parents house right now. So yeah.

Ever seen a pregnant woman smoking/drinking? Yes

What’s something you want for your next birthday? Money. Lots of it. And a keyless entry lock.

Do you hate when people talk to you about their relationships? Nah. Unless it’s clear that it’s an inappropriate time or place.

What’s the last thing you said out loud? "Augh.”

Don’t you hate when you get hit on by creepers? Yes.

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? I don’t think I ever close my closet door.

Do your parents use coupons a lot? Not that I know of. I do thought. 

Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Usually on stairs.

What are you doing right now? This. And deciding if I need to pee again.

Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10. 5. Maybe a 6. 

Do you always seem to lose your bobby pins & hair ties? Nah, i’m pretty aware of them.

Have you ever clogged a public toilet? Friend’s place count?

Have you ever been followed by a stranger when walking home? No, cause then they went their own way.

Do you have any jewelry on currently that came from someone special? “You are my sunshine” ring from my mom.

Have you ever saw someone get run over? No.

Is it currently cold where you live? It’s actually like Hell outside.

Do you put pepper on almost everything you eat? I’m not very good at eating. 

Do you own more than 50 different colored eye shadows? I probably do actually... Maybe 30.

Do you always feel like people are staring at you in public places? Yes.

What’s one of your biggest fears? Being thought of as mean and uncaring.

Is there currently any food crumbs on your bed? Maybe.

Have you ever watched the show Bananas in Pajamas when you were young? Yes. It was one my favorite shows!

Do you ever get any compliments on your eye lashes? Yep. I was blessed with perfect ones. 

Do you own a pair of converse? Since middle school.

Would you rather be unhappy being single or unhappy being with someone? I would rather be unhappy being single. 

What is something obvious about you that everyone notices? ... Uhm. My fishnet stockings.

100 Things You May Not Have Known About Me…

or care to know about me, but here ya go anyway…

1. What is the last alcoholic beverage you drank? Lemon vodka press probs. 

2. Do you follow college football? Nope. 

3. Who took this survey before you? ???

4. Who was the last person to send you a text message Damion

5. Last time you went swimming in a pool? ...Uhm. Two weeks ago, if just feet count. 

6. Are you happy? Not usually.

7. Where was the last place you went shopping? I went to Tom Thumb this afternoon.

8. How do you feel about your hair? It feels nice. I just washed it.

9. Where do you live? ATX bby.

10. Last thing you ate? Little Caesar’s cheese pizza.

11. Do you wish you were some place else right now? Yes and no. I want to be back in the morning. But, impossible givne distance of where I’d like to be.

13. Do you have any expensive jewelry? Not really.

14. AIM or MSN? Was def an AIM kid.

15. What classes are you taking? Next semester I’m taking Graph Theory, Cirriculum, and uh... Specialized Content.

16. How many hours on average do you work a week? 30+

17. Who do you like right now? My dog.

18. Do you watch the olympics? Yeah.

19. Last restaurant you went to? Whole foods count?

21. Who was the last person to call you? My roommate.

22. What’s your sign? Sagittarius. 

23. Do you have a favorite number? 16. 

24. Last time you did volunteer work or made any donation? I bought a red nose.

25. What do you spend most of your money on? Food.

26. Where does most of your family live? ... Even spread of extended.

27. Are you an only child or do you have siblings? Sibs.

31. Favorite kind of beer? Don’t dig that shit.  

32. Have you ever experienced true love? Yes.

33. Did you ever collect Beanie Babies? Nah. I mean I had some, but I wasn’t like super into it.

35. Myspace or Facebook? Facebook.

36. Do you have T-Mobile? No.

37. What is your favorite subject? I enjoyed the fuck out of DiffEQ.

38. Do you sometimes wish you were someone else? Yes. Or just a better version of myself.

40. Are you an outcast in school? I felt like I was, but looking back I was not as much as I felt.

41. Last time you saw your parents? Like, 3 hours ago.

42. Do you have any talents? I’m good at teaching mathematics.

43. Ever been in a wedding? Flower Girl.

44. Do you have any godchildren? No.

45. Last movie you watched? I put on The Bucket List. But, I think the dark tower counts.

46. Are you missing anyone at the moment? Yes.

47. Did you take a nap today? I woke up at 2. NO time for a nap.

49. Ever been on a cruise? Nope.

50. Favorite vacation spot? Snow places.

51. Favorite genre of music? Been grooving to indie alt. 

52. Do you have any wealthy friends? Yeah.

53. Ever met anyone famous before? Yes.

54. Would you give your ex a second chance? No, doesn’t seem like a good idea.

55. Are you multi-tasking right now? Nah.

57. Could you handle being in the military? Not at all.

58. Are you hungry or thirsty? I’m thirsty..

59. Favorite fast food restaurant? Panera.

60. Favorite Nightclub? I love Highland. 

62. Do you own a camera phone? Yeppp.

63. Ever had to take a sobriety test? No.

65. Can you speak any other languages? Only a little Spanish. I’m only fluent in English.

66. Last time you went to the gym or worked out? Last month.

67. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Like 20..

68. Do you have a photo hosting site that you use? No, google photos?

69. Last place you were at? Tom Thumb.

70. What is your school mascot? Bobcat.

71. Ever been to Las Vegas Nope.

72. Ever been to Mexico for spring break? Nope.

73. Have you ever bought condoms? Yep.

74. Do you have any regrets? I have some.

75. What do you think is your best feature? My eyelashes.

76. Have you ever been gambling? Yeah, love me some Brittney Slots..

77. How old are your parents? 69 and 56.

79. Do you have your wisdom teeth? Unclear. Never had any removed, but not sure if they were there in the first place.

80. Favorite place to be? My bed.

81. Have you ever been to New York City? Once, I need a redo

82. Favorite sit down restaurant? Idk. I go to a few. I always like Olive Garden breadsticks.

83. Ever been to Disney Land/World? Disneyland... I think. 

84. Do you have a favorite cartoon character? Tina Belcher. 

85. Last thing you cooked? A microwave bowl of soup...

86. How is the weather today? Hot.

87. Do you e-mail? It is how academics communicate. Less awkward.

88. Last letter/piece of mail you received besides junk or a bill? My mom sent me a card. 

89. Favorite store? Target.

90. Are you dating someone right now? Nope.

91. Last voicemail you received. Momma.

92. Do you drunk dial? Nope. 

93. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? Dropped it in the toilet once. 

94. What is the best city in the state that you have lived in? ATX is the best.

95. Favorite band? I’m gonna go with The Matches. Lyrics are perfect.

96. Last time you were sick? Had a sinus infection a few weeks ago.

97. Are you lactose intolerant or do you have IBS? Nope.

98. What’s the last concert you went to? Oh lord... Warped like. 7 years ago? I can’t remember. I haven’t been to one in a while unless you count happening upon ones as SXSW.

99. Ready for the weekend? I’m ready to see my little nugget of a niece.

100. What did you do last night? Got wired and did things.

[wildkidappeared]

Fighting against the wrong.

One of my biggest fears is whether I will be able to fight against the things that I find oppressing, correct who I find wrong, and just generally voice out my opinion.

If I were to give an example, there was a moment in my PE Class. In Korea, we for some reason have written tests for PE. The test was tomorrow, but it personally wasn’t a big deal to me, because:

It was just a tiny test, nothing like a term exam/assessment.

Since I’m not aiming to be an athlete or a PE teacher, PE was absolutely irrelevant to me. I mean, I enjoy sports(as in I find it fun, not that I’m good at it), but I don’t like memorizing the names of different types of badminton swings. 

Our PE teacher gave us a single piece of paper, with badminton rules and swing names written on it, telling us that the test will have questions directly from the paper. I thought to myself, “I could probably memorize this 10 minutes before the test and still get decent marks although they don’t actually matter in my life. Since I have an entire hour to spend, I should go ahead and study Maths instead.” 

I wasn’t the only one thinking this - significant amount of students don’t give a shit about PE. But when we pulled our Maths books out, he walked up to one of us and told him put our books away and study the paper. Not even in a scolding way - he sounded like a bully forcing a kid to follow his order. What I found extremely frustrating was despite the fact that he was just sitting doing his own work on his laptop, not teaching/lecturing the class, he was forcing us in a violent manner to study a subject we didn’t want to and need to. If he was teaching, I would understand that out of respect I should listen to his class. But like I said, he was doing his own thing. Why couldn’t we do so as well? Is it wrong to make my own choices for my own exam marks? Am I being rude by doing what I want to do without hurting others? A teacher exists to show paths, not force one. This wasn’t teaching us morals - he was purely forcing his own will on to us.

I didn’t say anything. I was mad, but to be frank, I was also afraid to speak out to the bald giant who spoke violently towards students. And If I were to argue with him, I needed to be sure that I wasn’t bias and that I was logical. I spend the hour thinking of when I would speak to him, if I should just write it as a letter instead, or just report him to the ministry of education. But after all that thinking, I’m now sitting here having done nothing about what happened weeks ago.

I could say, “It’s something that happened once; I should be sure to say it if it happens again.” “Maybe it’s not a big deal. Just an hour, right? I could just deal with it every PE class.” But that is exactly what I absolutely hate. It is a product of my fear, an attempt to compensate and rationalize my action of doing no action at all. If I can’t do this now, what says I will be able to do anything like it in the future?

My second problem is whether I should even deal with some problems in the first place. To put an example, let me introduce you a classmate I have, ‘Pseofshit’. Pseofshit is a piece of shit in my class sitting at the back making noises with other pieces of shit. She is inconsiderate, selfish, noisy, and rude. One day, I happened to be on the same elevator with her in the school(our school has an elevator. Cool, right?). There were freshmen on it riding it to the third floor, while our destination was the fifth. 

She said, loudly, “How selfish; Kids should be using the fucking stairs if it’s just three floors!”

I immediately thought of telling her off the third floor and make her walk to the fifth. It’s the same three floors, she should be okay with it, right? She referred them as ‘kids’, as if, she’s all grown up after 2 years. Pseofshit, a grown up? Give me a fucking break. Also, how does it not get through her head that she used to do the same when she was a freshmen herself? Why does she care so much?(And why do I care so much) Is it so unbearable to sacrifice a bit of her comfort for comfort of others?

I didn’t say anything. I’m too much of a coward to argue with people offline without shaking. My body just can’t handle arguments against people I’m not close with. All I'm now doing is be a bitch on the internet, writing a pathetic blog about it. Is it something I should have dealt with? I don’t think with Pseofshit’s personality I would’ve heard anything but offensive words without even having a word through her skull, but should I have humiliated her in front of the innocent freshmen? Should I have at least voice my opinion about how wrong her thinking is? Should I even deal with people like her? Is “It’s not worth talking to” an excuse?

I’m worried.