#I guess I just hate people being so cynical with no real reason or explanation

[recusant-s-sigil]

Just watched Aeba’s new video and can I just say I get that she’s worried about the future but like… she didn’t mention anything about the mobile games at all?? Like they didn’t even exist and weren’t contributing to the greater story? ‘Oh we’re immediately getting a new Sora game’ NO WE’RE FUCKING NOT MISSING-LINK IS RIGHT THERE

[rabbiteclair]

actually fuck it, rambling about the plot because it's 1:30 AM and I need to wait for my hair to dry and my head to clear from the MYSTERY FUMES I was exposed to before I try to sleep, so let's fucking go

various unanswered questions as of the start of day 49 (this is gonna be like nothing but late plot spoilers so you've been warned):

what exactly is A trying to do here? You can see the general shape of what this is all about, but it still isn't clear if A is sticking to Carmen's original plan 100%, and if he is, what exact form it takes. got a Seed of Light involved, that's for sure.

even if A is following Carmen's plan to the letter, to what degree is this actually a good or helpful thing? Clearly everybody loved her, but she's mostly just shown to be charismatic and passionate. looking out over a cyberpunk hellscape where starving people are getting dragged off on meathooks for organ-harvesting and going 'what's wrong with the world is..... people don't, like, believe in things anymore, you know?' this might just be me being cynical, but everything about Carmen is filtered through A's memories so I feel a need to compensate. And even then she's shown being cool with human experimentation up until she killed a child.

is Angela in fact planning to sabotage this? I mean, on one hand, I have no reason to believe that Benjamin "If I could suck A's cock I would never brush my teeth again" McHokma was lying to A. On the other hand, it is unclear if B gave his warning at the same time we heard it happen. for all I know Angela recorded it and is playing it every loop days later as a 5D chess move. On the other other hand, at this point I would be surprised if day 50 isn't essentially Angela elbowing her way through a crowd of As like 'OKAY YOU IDIOTS HAD YOUR CHANCE, NOW IT'S MY TURN TO STRANGLE THIS BASTARD, FINALLY.' I don't even need any explanation beyond the fact that he's A

I assume that the voice in the black screens toward the end of morning cutscene times is the Bucket/CARMEN'S DISEMBODIED NERVOUS SYSTEM FLOATING IN A TANK BECAUSE A IS JUST A REAL COOL DUDE WHO MAKES GOOD DECISIONS but, like. Goddamn. okay this one isn't a question.

okay but where did Burrowing Heaven come from. Like Bloodbath and Snow Queen could both come from lots of people who were close to Carmen I guess, but I can't imagine there are many people who are like 'the innermost expression of my spirit is a monster that represents obsession with Carmen and angst over the fact that Carmen is now a DISEMBODIED NERVOUS SYSTEM FLOATING IN A TANK.' I don't actually expect this one to get answered but it's fun to think about. Since all of the weapons Gebura uses in her suppression seem to be callbacks to stuff she had when she was alive, this would also suggest that Burrowing Heaven popped up pretty soon after Carmen's death.

exactly which parts of Angela's behavior come from the Script, which parts are her improvising to fit the Script while going "for fuck's sake A, I'm not a babysitter", and which parts are actually Angela doing the things Angela wants to do? this is another one I expect no answer to but which is fun to think about.

what exactly was the thing that made B finally slink off and leave A alone? It doesn't seem to have been the whole thing with dissecting Garion's brain (while making her watch. as you dissect her brain. because A IS JUST A REAL COOL DUDE WHO MAKES GOOD DECISIONS.) B seemed to be a willing participant in that. The breaking point seems to have happened before the Sephirot were created or the time loop fun times started. but even ruling those out, there are so many cool and ethical options to choose from! Was it the decision to butcher Carmen's corpse into a DISEMBODIED NERVOUS SYSTEM FLOATING IN A TANK? was it creating Angela in Carmen's image while her corpse was still cooling and then immediately turning around and going 'WTF THIS IS JUST A MACHINE, IT'S NOT CARMEN. I HATE HER'? Was it keeping all of their friends' corpses heaped up in a closet somewhere for future use? was it the continued disastrous human experimentation while callously ignoring everyone dying around him? gosh I love A. don't at all wanna see him fall into some kind of industrial grinder.

Angela's whole thing about how A is dead and she's one of the people who killed him--I've been assured this isn't literally true, but I'm also not yet trusting that it's just a high-level 'oh well you're kinda dead because you see this time loop isn't really living' metaphor either. Oops this one also isn't a question

probably more but I should've been in bed 70 minutes ago

[merakiui]

hii could we get an angsty scenario/hcs of xiao and scaramouche/any characters you prefer! who are basically head over heels for someone but that person keeps getting with the wrong people and constantly getting their heart broken? Preferably with a good/fluffy ending but it’s up to you!

cw: angst + heartbreak  note - decided to go for scenarios! (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

[Xiao] 

One Call Away—

The sudden shout of his name had brought him out into the open, where he finds you sitting in a field of wildflowers, your head hung and quiet sobs racking your hunched form.

“You called?” The gruffness in his voice startles you and your head snaps up. He notices your pained expression and the tears that refuse to cease, and it gives birth to a strange feeling within his chest. “What happened? Surely I am not too late.” And then he shakes his head. “No, I’m never late.”

“Ah... I’m sorry.” You sniffle, pitifully rubbing at your eyes. “I guess your name slipped out. I didn’t mean to bother you. I just didn’t mean to call for you either.”

Xiao raises a brow and then surveys the surrounding area. “Well, it doesn’t look like you’re in any mortal peril. In that case, I’ll leave you to—”

“No!”

Your sudden shout startles the both of you, with you drawing back and Xiao’s eyes widening ever so slightly. He wonders why you’re crying when beautiful scenery surrounds you. Are you truly that pathetic? Are mortals usually this weak-hearted? Xiao can’t wrap his head around the idea of grief; he’s an immortal who has seen plenty of hazardous scenarios worth grieving over. Yet with the passage of time he has learned to let such emotions drift away on a wind current. Emotions are useless to an adeptus.

But now he’s stuck with them.

“No?”

“D-Don’t go...” Your voice wobbles and you wipe at your reddened eyes. “I don’t want to bother you, but could you stay here with me? For a little while, at least. It’s all I’ll ask...”

He feels like he should decline your desperate plea before it spreads its perplexing roots throughout his system. The words are practically on the tip of his tongue and he struggles to verbalize them. If he could, he’d shake his head and vanish from your sight. There’s something about your expression that forces him to stay, and he truly detests the way his emotions run wild at the prospect of something he can’t quite comprehend.

“Fine.”

And so Xiao listens to you. It’s something he does best; his eyes and ears are open as he gives you his full, undivided attention. Half of him observes your reactions as you explain what happened and the other half zeros in on the way your subtle hand motions. While he might not be anywhere near a cupid—and he would never be caught giving out relationship advice to mortals, which is something he couldn’t do even if he tried—he is still a being of immense power. From what he’s able to understand from your explanation, your loved one decided to part from you because they believed it just wasn’t working. And you, having been struck with an immense sadness, failed to call out to them to clear up any misunderstandings.

Eventually, after internally wrestling with his own thoughts and feelings, he asks, “Do you want me to teach them a lesson? Should you need them to feel the same amount of despair you’re feeling—”

“Oh, no! No. No. They don’t deserve to be punished for that. I understand now that our feelings weren’t the same. We really weren’t working and that’s okay. It just...hurts.”

Xiao tilts his head, an innocently childish show of confusion. “Where?”

“It’s not a physical pain, Xiao. I mean, it could be. But...this is more emotional.” Your hand reaches out, fingers wrapping around his wrist. He stares down at your hand and he almost pulls away. Before he can even consider what’s happening, you’re guiding his hand to where your heart is. “In here. It hurts now, but I’ll overcome it eventually. I’m used to it anyways...”

The straight-faced adeptus remains still as he feels the fast-paced beat of your heart. Mortals have always been weak in his eyes: feeble beings who break at the slightest inconvenience. Although you don’t seem close to shattering and that confuses him more than he’d like to admit. Perhaps you are one of the more resilient humans he’s come across in recent years. It’s strange when he feels your heartbeat, so very certain and alive with the sour feelings a heartbreak brings. He’s never understood that either. Heartbreaks and relationships. The differences between friendship and romance. Both can be seen through to the very end, if fostered healthily.

So then why are you so sad?

Truthfully, you’ve always seemed sad to Xiao. As an adeptus, he’s never been able to fully grasp the meaning behind human emotions. They’re insignificant in his eyes, mere flashes of feeling that can hurt and blind. They’re troublesome and useless—certainly not something he would ever want to experience. But those emotions can heal and bring cheer. They’re not all entirely bad, nor are they as evil as he seems to think they are.

Xiao realizes his hand has been on your chest for a while now and he’s been staring at you so much that you’ve begun to shrink away, partially embarrassed to have him analyze you with so much scrutiny.

“Is...something wrong?”

He shakes his head slowly at first before retracting his arm. And then he notices you’ve stopped crying. He’s not sure when this happened, but he’s oddly relieved to see your neutral expression. Somehow your crying face is painful and it wounds him in a way he never would have imagined.

“Thank you for listening to my rant. I know this is probably meaningless to you, since you’re an adeptus and all, but it really means a lot. So I’m glad I was able to get these things off my chest. I feel a lot lighter now.”

“You’re not sad?”

“Ah. Well...” Your gaze flickers, eyes darting to and fro while you struggle to look at him. “I’m still sad, but I’ll get over it! Don’t worry! I’m resilient!”

Xiao’s brow furrows in confusion. As he has thought plenty of times before, mortals are far too complex. Eventually he sighs and says, “It’s okay to cry. Don’t keep that inside, okay? You’ll just hurt yourself even more.” Now he’s avoiding your gaze and there’s a barely noticeable tinge of pink dusting his pale cheeks. He’s really not good at consoling humans.

“Oh, Xiao.” You pull him in for a hug and he stiffens, trying to squeeze out of your arms like a cat near water. But then he feels your fingers digging into his arm and he realizes that you might actually need this hug. Despite the fact that he’s not used to freely giving out hugs—or even cheering up mortals, for that matter—he is definitely out of his element. “Really, thank you. I promise to make you an Almond Tofu as thanks.”

“There’s no need for that.” Hesitantly, as if he’s worried he’ll break you, he wraps his arms around your form. “I’m just helping you because you called my name. That’s all.”

But that’s not the full truth. Hidden in those words is the real reason why he even bothered to stay despite the false alarm. And it worries Xiao when he thinks about the implications. He really does like you and this admiration has surpassed platonic love. As long as you’re okay, though, he’ll swallow his feelings in favor of making sure you’re always happy. It’s one of his duties as your friend.

Friend. A word Xiao never thought he’d ever use, but it feels nice. He likes it.

Yet The Distance Remains Harrowing.

[Scaramouche] 

To Mend a Broken Heart—

You’re spilling your emotional guts in front of the Sixth of the Fatui Harbingers, tears freely running down your cheeks like two faulty water faucets. It’s a pathetic sight, really. Scaramouche witnessed this exact show just a few weeks ago when you were so certain that that fisher was the one. Now, after meeting and getting together with someone else for a short time, you’ve come out of yet another relationship, unhappy and unsatisfied.

He’s jealous. There’s no denying the envy he feels when you talk so highly of these people and then wail about them a few days later. It’s a vicious cycle of mending a fragile heart and then breaking it into pieces all over again. With no end in sight, you fall victim to your own demise in the pursuit of love. He wonders if you’ll ever learn to choose your next partner carefully rather than settling for anything with a pulse.

“This is exactly what I said would happen, was it not?” he says with a sigh. “Oh, woe is you. If you were smarter, this last relationship might have lasted longer.”

“That’s rich coming from you. I’ve never seen you in a relationship before,” you mutter, wiping angrily at your eyes. His eyelid twitches at the not-so-subtle jab. “Ugh!I hate being so unlucky! This is the worst.”

“Rather than your foul luck, I think the problem lies within you and your taste in partners.”

Sniffling, you lower your head onto the table, hoping to just melt into the crafted wood before you end up making even more of a fool out of yourself. It’s rare to be in the company of Scaramouche, considering how often he’s assigned missions that require swift travel and a covert profile. But whenever you do find yourself sitting across from him, indulging in light snacks and tea, it’s always because you’ve lost your latest lover; and your own sadness requires the nullifying effects of Scaramouche’s cynicism.

“They’re good people! I just don’t know why it never works out. We’re happy and we both like each other—it doesn’t make any sense. Am I missing something? Is it my fault? They probably got tired of me because I’m not a good person.“

“Perhaps.” He takes a moment to sip his tea and you muster a weak glare. Only Scaramouche can delight in his beverage while you’re holding back another onslaught of tears. “Your crocodile tears are hardly flattering and your apparent need for consistent affection might come off as clingy. And you have a tendency to find flaws within yourself whenever something doesn’t go your way. Adding onto that, you doubt yourself a lot and you’re always quick to take the blame for things that are out of your control. In a way you are partially—”

“I get it. I’m not a good person.”

“I never said anything of that sort. Now you’re just asking for pity.”

Oh, how close you are to punching that smirk off of his face.

“Then since you seem to know everything, my oh so helpful friend, why don’t you tell me what I’m missing?”

“With pleasure.” His cup finds the surface of the table as he ponders your demand for a moment. “You’re missing someone who meshes well with your personality.”

“That’s not true. Everyone I’ve been with so far—“ His skeptical look makes you stop short. “Okay. Maybe we forced it because we thought it was love. But that’s besides the point! There was still an attraction! I think...” You huff and bury your face in your arms, nearly almost sprawling on the table. You’re too depressed to even consider how impolite your actions look, and Scaramouche scoffs at your poor display of manners. “Where am I even going to find someone who ‘meshes well with my personality,’ hm?”

“I’m sure you’ve already found them.” He clears his throat, tracing a finger along a sanded knot in the wooden table. “You’re sitting across from him.”

Whether he intended for you to hear that whispered part, you can’t say for sure. But your head perks up and you fix him with a lopsided grin. “You’re kidding.”

“Hm?”

“Me and you, a couple?” A small giggle escapes your lips and you swipe the remaining tears out of your eyes. “Don’t joke about that. I’m trying to be sad here!”

It wasn’t a joke, he almost says and he catches himself, suddenly self-conscious.

“I don’t think we’d work out,” you continue, motioning between you and him. “We’d hardly see each other and you don’t seem like the type for romance. Besides, I’m not attracted to you in that way. You feel the same, right?”

Scaramouche stares into his cup before he meets your gaze, a tight smile gracing his expression. “Of course. Your inability to settle isn’t all that attractive.”

Your eyes roll and you finally pick up your own cup to take a large gulp of lukewarm tea. The bitter Harbinger observes your actions with narrowed eyes. There’s a distinct pain that taps at his hardened soul, splitting it apart as your words echo within his spinning head. I don’t think we’d work out. I’m not attracted to you in that way. Why is he suddenly feeling...upset? He’s not one for pitiful emotions; he’s a Harbinger, not a lovesick fool! He ought to glare at you and storm off, demanding the two of you never speak again. But he won’t say that because he doesn’t want to hurt you. Because he cares for you. Because he loves you.

You feel the same, right?

No, that’s not right. This is the love he’s been wallowing in since he first got acquainted with you. It’s strange when he remembers every event that has led up to the blossoming feelings that reside deep in the epicenter of his heart, but it’s even more strange that he can’t find the courage to voice his own opinion.

“We wouldn’t mix,” he reaffirms your statement with a cold tone. There is no warmth in his eyes. “After all, your taste in tea is as bad as your taste in partners.”

And even though he wishes you could see through his walls—just this once he’ll allow you to tear them down for the sake of a half-baked confession—you just sit there and grin, no longer teary-eyed and forlorn. How odd. His heart feels far heavier than it’s ever been before. And you’re already scanning your surroundings, hungry for a love that will never keep you sated. Perhaps you weren’t even sad in the first place.

Upon realizing this, Scaramouche wants nothing more than to disappear into the wood like a feeble worm and never come back out.

You Must Break Another.

[laufire]

(CW for mentions of csa)

A lot of Commonly Accepted (Often Through Uncritical Repetition) Wisdom in fandom leaves me baffled, when not straight up ticked off, but one that's been on my mind lately, that never fails to bring a scrunched up expression to my face, is the idea that Bela Talbot's backstory was some last minute add-on to her character.

You might argue that the reveal was rushed since the writers caved in and killed her off against their original plan (or at the very least, earlier than). Or that using abuse is a trite way to raise sympathy for an antagonistic character. You could even say that some of the finer details might’ve not been set in stone until they sat down to write her exist, although that one is dubious. But I’m never really going to buy that Bela’s backstory hadn’t been already planned, likely in big part.

The reason why is Season Three Episode Six, “Red Sky At Morning”, Bela’s second episode, co-written by Eric Kripke himself. As all episodes with Bela were, may I add; which means he had a hand in crafting her story from the beginning, as creator, director, and writer.

There Dean, a character that has been shown as sharp and intuitive (although his success rate ain’t that great when it comes to Bela, admittedly xD), immediately pegs her as someone with Issues TM, asking “how did she get like this”. He even taunts her by referencing her father, showing off his talent to hit where it hurts by asking if he “didn’t give her enough hugs”, ‘cause he’s classy like that. This visibly affects Bela, changing her demeanor in their conversation, from more playful to defensive. Hell, I remember during my first watch in real time this moment, especially paired with the rest of the episode, was when I first thought it was possible she came from an abusive family.

Because, c’mon. This whole episode is about parricide. The monster of the week is a ghost who haunts those that “spilled their own family’s blood”. We get two other examples: a woman whose accidental car crash killed her cousin, and two brothers who killed their father for the inheritance. Clearly, the ghost doesn’t have a narrow criteria when it comes to means or culpability -which makes sense given his particular story: he was tried for treason and his brother, the captain of the ship, issued the sentence.

And just as we find out this information... Bela sees the ghost ship that foretells her death. This, paired with the insinuations about an unsavvory past and her discomfort at the mention of her father, aren’t a wealth of information, but they start to paint a picture. We now know for a fact that Bela caused the death of at least one relative (mom and dad); that she wouldn’t have needed to do it directly (she made a crossroads deal); and that she might’ve had a sympathetic motive (her father sexually abused her and her mother turned a blind eye).

That scene offers some more tidbits of information about her past that seem too in tune with 3x15 to be coincidental, and that absolutely break my heart: Bela’s “You wouldn’t understand. No one did.“ and “I’ll just do what I’ve always done. I’ll deal with it myself”. See, I always thought Bela must’ve told people, when she was a kid. That she reached out for help not just to her mother, but to everyone around her that she thought could’ve help: teachers, maybe even law enforcement; adults that should’ve being worthy of that trust and protected her. Except no one did (and the fact that her family seemed to be not only very rich but influential paints a very bleak picture that surely contributed to her cynic view of the world). So she took matters in her own hands, and sold her soul for ten years of relative safety and freedom from her abusers.

To tie it all up, her final scene in that episode offers some more moments that again, are very in line with her backstory. We see how she treats relationships as transactionals: she pays ten grand to the Winchesters for saving her life, like she paid with her soul. Dean, again, draws attention to her likely messed up past by calling her damaged, and she replies that “takes one to know one”. Terrible childhood, ammirite. The show wasn’t been subtle here: it’s telling us Bela has a terrible past, like the Winchesters do, but of a different kind that has resulted in a different kind of person. So yeah, I think all the facts were hinted at back in 3x06.

We could go even futher back and point out 3x03, Bela’s introduction. One of the very first things she says in the show, during her first face to face with Dean (a character that just condemned his soul to Hell), is “We’re all going to Hell, Dean. Might as well enjoy the ride”. Sure, it could be an incredibly fortuitous coincidence; as a writer, I’ve had those and they’re damn great. But it seems VERY lucky, and more likely to be a case of the kind premeditated, well-placed foreshadowing that Kripke excels at.

So, okay. I’ve established why I think Bela’s backstory wasn’t a spur of the moment decision. But why is there a notable narrative in fandom that it IS?

First thing first, I want to get something out of the way: you don’t have to like it even if it was planned ahead. I understand it’s a very thorny subject, and to make matters worse, it’s inherently tied to her death. You might even be fine with the what, but not with how it was dealt with (although personally, I appreciate that neither the abuse nor her death were shown onscreen. In fact, the worse violence we see Bela on the receiving end of in her run is Dean’s threats and manhandling, which seems like a very purposeful choice ngl. Even Gordon freaking Walker was gentler lmao).

But I do disagree with some extended fandom opinions on the topic, and I guess that’s what the post is about. For one, I don’t see how the show “condemned” or morally judged Bela in this scenario. If anything, they clearly wanted to make her sympathetic, AND they showed Dean as being in the wrong by robbing him of information. Dean’s opinion on Bela couldn’t count for shit, for once, because he didn’t have the full picture; because Bela had deemed him UNWORTHY of the full picture, and thus anything he had to say on her couldn’t be taken at face value (except this is Supernatural, so I guess this was a little too much to ask of some people?). I think saying that just because Bela died and went to Hell as a consequence of her deal, IN THE SAME SEASON the same happened to our co-lead, because the writers deemed her evil and irredeemable is simplistic at best, and the audience projecting their own feelings (or being unable to see past Dean’s) onto the writing.

All that said, to go back to the initial point of all of this xD: WHY does fandom seem to insist on viewing this narrative choice as some cheap last minute addition?

There might not be one explanation that fits all, but I have a few ideas. One is that, if this wasn’t planned for and hinted at from early on, some people might feel as if this “absolves” them of their previous (and disgustingly hateful and misoginistic) reactions to Bela. Others will see this as absolving Dean, and maybe even Sam to a lesser extent, for not helping her and for being callous towards her; if her tragic backstory was this artificial, rushed choice made by Those Writers, then Dean wasn’t responsible for reprehensible attitudes towards someone who deserved his compassion (and it can’t be denied that this fandom loves absolving Dean of responsibility lmao). And a lot people are probably only repeating what they've heard from others as the accepted narrative, especially those that didn't even watch all of s3 if at all (Castiel is my fave too, but seriously, s1-3 are worth it).

It’s like they’re creating this imaginary separation between Bela pre-reveal, and Bela post-reveal, to make the situation easier to themselves. See, Bela pre-reveal was this annoying bitch who inconvenienced and embarrassed our leads (not to mention dared have chemistry with them), and thus deserved to be punished for it; or, if we’re going with more modern fandom sensibilities, she can be made to fit into the shallow #GirlBoss mold, with a side of “Secretly A Lesbian And Therefore Not A Romantic Threat” flavour -the current preferred method to make controversial female characters more palatable.

The reveal throws a wrench into this narrative. “Bitch who deserves her comeuppance” is a hard sell when you’re talking about a character who survived csa. And a shallow #GirlBoss reading doesn’t work if you have to acknowledge that Bela was one of, if not the most tragic characters in the entire run of Supernatural.

She spent over half her life at the mercy of her abuser(s), hurt by those who should’ve loved her and protected her most. The rest of her life was extremely lonely, with seemingly only a cat as company, and a surface-level freedom that hid under the sentence that loomed over her head. She died without a single friend, or a simple show of kindness and compassion, without anyone bothering to fight for her. And then she ended up tortured for who knows how long until she became one of her torturers.

All of that is extremely difficult to digest. And when things are hard to swallow, people do as people do, and they try to simplify them. So, sure. Bela’s reveal wasn’t ever hinted at, it’s completely removed from her character and the person we met, and is not even worth trying to fit into the narrative. Sounds easy.

[finalgirlbuffysummers]

okay here it is. The rest is below the cut.

You would think that living on a Hellmouth made the nightmares worse. That every night would be screaming torment, but really, the hollow earth below never really prowled the dreams of its lesser citizens. Sure, the vampires and their teeth made appearances, dead classmates, the prickling curent of the wind, but waking up and knowing your neighbor heard the same bump in the night, knowing you survived to see the sun: that’s your bitter reward. Your comfort. It’s normal here, perched on the lip above the sharpest tooth.  

No, the nightmares get worse ten years down the line. You’re out of highschool. You wake up alone. You wake up in a city that doesn't understand you, strangers who want to prescribe you medicine or tell you to mediate. So you end up alone, and you know alone is how they like you. You’re not sure if demons lurk in your new city. You thought once that a man standing on the corner lit his cigarette with massive purple claws, and you ran, your feet echoing like gunshots through the streets. 

You never did learn to shoot a gun. You keep it in your nightstand drawer, but you know it wouldn't stop anything that's followed you out of California, out of Sunnydale. Once, you had a girlfriend. Rummaging around for a hair tie she discovered your small handgun, your safety blanket. She picked it up with her forefinger and her thumb, like it was filthy, like she didn't understand. “Why do you keep one of these awful things?” You couldn't answer her.

There's no girlfriend now. No one to make you coffee in the morning, no one to rub your back when you wake up with the feeling of teeth in your throat, tight grips on your ankles. She got tired of you, you poor, novel thing from the west. 

So it's been weeks. So it's been grocery shopping at 3am, staring at the wilting vegetables, trying to stay out of your apartment. It's been staying longer at the museum you work at. No, you don’t work there just to read the old books for some kind of answer, you lie. At your highschool, there was a librarian who kept swords. You think about sending him an email: Hey, Mr. Giles, do you sleep at night? Does it get easier? Where might I acquire a sword such as yours? You draft hundreds before you realize you have no idea where to send them. 

Your classmates don't keep in touch. there is no Facebook group, there is no reunion. There can’t be: Sunnydale is no more. It collapsed in itself. This should be comforting: but all you can think of is the beasts who crawled out of the pit, who remember the stink of your fear. Some folks stayed local, moving just a town over, the low thrum from the throat of hell enough the lull them into a stupid haze of breakfast, lunch, and getting eaten for dinner. The rest left. There are two hundred, give or take, Sunnydale immigrants scattered around the country, waking up alone. Waking up with a gun in their hands. Waking up dead. Your school newspaper had an obituary page. The boy who ran it wrote well, you thought, if cynical. Who the hell can blame him? Mr. Giles, you write. How come it didn't get us? Why are we still left? Mr. Giles, can you tell me if it's following us?

Last week a friend of a friend called you to say Dennis had died. Dennis… you remember now. He was the lead singer in that band, what was it? Something about Dingoes. You ask how he died. Sunnydale habits: You keep an ear out for the signs. The friend says, puncture wounds, on the neck. Police suspect it was inflicted by a barbeque fork. You drop the phone. You sharpen stakes, get splinters in your palms. Buy crucifixes by the dozen. More than once, you’ve slept in a church pew, under the painted ceiling. At work, your boss asks with some concern about the dark circles under your eyes. Long night, you say. You are starting to hate this city. In this city, there’s no hero.

Yes, you remember her. You know everyone else does, too. Buffy. One time, you saw her sparring with the librarian. No swords, just fists. Another time, she crawled out of your biology classroom window at the arrival of a dark haired girl who blew her kisses. One time, she slammed the computer science teacher against her own desk. Wacky shit. You knew, though. That Sunnydale High had to be the safest place in town because of her. She killed things, probably. Definitely. Then she left. Sometimes, there are whispers: “I heard Buffy’s in Rome.” “I heard she lives in a castle.” “I heard she’s dead.” God, please, no. After every long night, you pray she still lives. That she hasn't let her guard down. It's midnight. You draft another email. Mr. Giles. Buffy’s still alive, right? Please tell me she’s okay. People keep dying, Mr. Giles, and we’re not even in Sunnydale anymore. Can you tell me what happened there? Why can't I stop dreaming about the destroyed graves of everyone who died? Can you tell me anything at all? Mr. Giles, Dennis is dead. Oz’s friend. I hope Oz is alive, too. I hope you’re alive. I hope you’re well. Take care. This time, you call a colleague in London. You track down Gile’s email through a stroke of luck, and you hit send. You don’t hear back at all. 

Three months later, you receive a response. You’d almost forgotten about the message you sent. Your museum opened a new and successful gallery You received a promotion. You’ve been successful. (Yes, you’re even sleeping more. Shh, don’t say it too loud). You open the email.

Greetings and glad to hear from you- it’s wonderful to hear from old students. I do hope you’re well.

There is no easy way to answer these emails. Yes, you're not the only one who’s managed to reach me. I won’t disclose my location, or hers, but I can tell you that Buffy is safe, and alive, and I think she’s happy. She’s been happy for a while. I’ll tell her you asked, she likes to know that old classmates are doing well. Yes, Oz is alive. He’s been in Tibet for some time, though we do hear from him on occasion. He heard about Denis’s passing. Truly a tragedy. 

I’m quite pleased to hear you’ve entered museum studies: a deeply satisfying and enriching work. I hope that you are finding enough answers with it. I know that living on- Well, where we lived is disorienting, confusing. I’ll try to answer you as best I can. 

The swords I kept in the library (do never tell anyone I did that) I received as a present form a collector friend, who is long dead and whose collection is long scattered. The rest of the blade I received from my employers. I do not recommend keeping swords in your home as a safety measure. Invest in a good lock. Invest in protection charms found in books of the dark arts. I checked: your museum has some in collection. (Since you are emailing me, I can only guess that you’ve accepted explanations beyond those from the metaphysical realm).

I do sleep at night, thank you for asking.  It gets easier. I don’t say this just because I’ve put an ocean between myself and Sunnydale, no: time does heal. It helps that I’m with people who understand. It helps to name the thing in the dark. I’ll put you in contact with a colleague of mine- he’s in your museum network- and you can begin to build yourself a circle, if you wish. 

There is no reason that we live, my friend. There's no reason why any of our friends died. Your life is not a curse, I can promise you that. This isn’t borrowed time.

If you were being followed it would have gotten you by now. I apologize for my bluntness.

Oh, the ageless question of what happened. All the time in the world and I couldn’t give you a satisfactory answer. What would I say? That vampires haunt the sunniest part of California? That hell is real, and it can speak? I believe you already know the outline. What I can comfort you on is that yes. There are people who find evil, and they stop it. They haven't gone away. But that's not the point: don’t worry about them. Sunnydale is gone, dear student. It’s up to you to name the thing in the dark, keep it at bay. Be watchful, be wise. The world is bigger than most people know. 

Sincerely,

Rupert Giles

You close your laptop. You stretch your legs. You go into the bedroom to retrieve the handgun, then place it on the kitchen counter.  You stare at it. It doesn't move. You stare. The apartment is still, like the city is holding it in its throat. The clock strikes 4 am. It’s just a clock. It's just a gun. In your apartment, you’re just you, waiting for the sun to rise.

END

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Episode 3--Hunted.

 Most of you lovelies already realize this, but my thoughts tend to zig and zag quite a bit, lol.  So.  To save some of you the headache and spare you from seeing spoilers you’d rather not see yet, I’m again placing them behind a cut.  

First things first.  I have totally turned into Yvette Nicole Brown with her TWD notebooks, lol, and I’m not even sorry.  I just felt like it would be fun to go back when the final episode is in the books and see how well my thoughts from these early episodes line up with what I’m feeling when we say our (not-so) final goodbyes.  

But that’s enough about that. Let’s get to this thing.  

It really is insane how very much I love Melissa McBride.  Just hearing her doing the previously on TWD recap voiceover makes me ridiculously happy.  

Cole!  Dude!  We hardly knew ya.  

Not gonna lie.  That first shot of Maggie in all the chaos reminded of a shirt I’ve seen.  It says--”Well, well, well.  If it isn’t the consequences of my actions.”  

I have to hand it to Angela and the rest of her team.  These opening scenes--on all 3 episodes--have been BOMB so far.  They really hook you in right away.  At least IMHO.  

I realize I’m behind the game on this little tidbit, but how much do I adore the fact that Dog is now in the opening credits?  

Okay.  Alexandria might look like it’s been on some kind of post-apocalyptic bender but all our girls are looking beautiful as ever.  Maybe it’s Maybelline, lol.  

I love to see Kelly and Carol still gravitating toward each other.  It really speaks to each woman’s heart.  Carol wants to make amends so badly and Kelly just has the most lovely, warm, forgiving heart.  

Carol’s point about Alexandria still needing the horses to help with the heavy lifting and pointing out the walls and rebuilding won’t matter quite as much if they’re limited by their  hunger and what they can physically lift on their own isn’t wrong.  But I’m sure the same viewers that were okay with Daryl and Co. going out on Maggie’s suicide mission (using the same reasoning) and saying it made sense for the bigger picture will pretend not to recognize that the same element is there in Carol’s desire to go out there and look for the horses.  You know.  Because it was Carol’s idea and not that of their fave(s).  

Aaron, Man.  Or maybe I should say Angela.   You just had to put a pit of dread in my belly mentioning Buttons like that.  RIP, Buttons.  You deserved better.  I’m still traumatized.  

Look at all the babies bonding.  Look at RJ getting to sit at the big kid table.  

“My mom always comes back.”  She damn well better.  Those babies need her.  Until she does, though, Uncle Daryl and Aunt Carol (and Aunt Rosita and everybody else) are going to be there.  

Anyway.  Poor RJ.  He barely ever gets any lines, lol.  

Hershel and Judith are obviously the mini-adults in this group and baby Rhee is already more cynical and jaded than his sweet daddy was until they reached Alexandria and the wheels started to come off.  

So.  Does Maggie just think everybody’s already dead here or what?  Hmm.  

You know.  Any building can be creepy AF when the lights are off and it’s dark, lol.  Any building.  

So much darkness so far this season.  I’m going to have to invest in some blackout curtains.  I just know it.  

Where are all those stairs leading?  Why am I thinking of Hitchcock?  Am I mixing up my scary, suspenseful movies?  Probably.  

Of fucking course, Maggie dropped her flashlight.  Thank goodness she had that lighter at the ready just before Ghost Face Reaper took a swipe at her.  

Is that Father G with a screwdriver impaled in his thigh?  Listen.  These people deserve a Mega Bottle of pain killers and a week just vegging out in a soft, luxurious bed.  

All these horror movie tropes.  Some of them are cheesy, yes.  But I’m totally here for it.  

LMAO.  That’s it, Maggie.  A good old punch in the nuts works every time.  

Alden really is having a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.  

Negan is still Negan.  Self-serving and looking out for number one.  But I believe the man really does feel the group is his group too.  He’s like that long lost, sketchy uncle nobody wants to acknowledge much less invite to the dinner table, but that bond?  However thin?  Is there.  

I am both hating that Maggie is being forced to work with the man that murdered her husband (my baby Glenn) and finding it fascinating the lengths she’s willing to go to survive.  This your plan, Angela?  

Rosita and Carol!  How sad is it that the last really significant scene I can remember the two of these women sharing was way back?  Before Rick and Co. attacked Negan’s outpost and Maggie and Carol were subsequently taken?  If only the show had done more of these kind of scenes.  

How much do I love all the girls working together?  Gimps would never.  They’d all be stuck back at Alexandria minding the kids and the community.  

Shallow aside--Rosita is so pretty in this scene.  

Rosita being worried about Carol honestly makes my heart hurt, because it’s about damn time more of them actually did.  Her saying Abraham is trying to tell her something in her dreams is interesting.  Angela sure loves her dreams, doesn’t she?  

Where are Daryl’s dreams, hmm?  No.  Seriously.  I guess they want to give some viewers plausible deniability until the bitter end.  

“Really?  We’re just gonna go toward the screaming?  Cool.”  Hahaha.  You know.  Even the smart people in horror movies sometimes bite it, Negan.  Just saying.  Maggie really does need to “stop running up the staircase” when she could just run out the front door though, lol.  

Poor Duncan.  I think you could have been another Tyreese, Jerry type for me.  

WTF does this show have against horses?  Those poor creatures.  

Kelly is totally me right now.  I’d be freaking inconsolable.  

Carol needed that hug.  Thank you, Magna.  From the bottom of this tired fangirl’s heart, thank you.  

Why give us that beautiful, golden shot with the horses when you’re planning to stab us through the heart later and twist the knife.  Oh.  Yeah.  That’s exactly why.  

Oh snap!  Father G’s delivery when he tells that Reaper “I’m not.  God isn’t here anymore.”  Cold as ice.  

Judas.  That the Reapers’ work.  Or.  Damn.  Either way, that’s harsh.  

Back to what Alden was saying.  All these oprhaned children.  Who’s going to take on Adam if he dies?  That poor kid has had a rough go of it.  Knowing that, makes you wonder what Alden was thinking volunteering for the suicide mission.  

Omigosh.  There went Agatha.  Terrible way to go.  Right, Beatrice?  

I’m sobbing.  Carol with the horse.  That hurt my baby so much but she hurt herself for her family the same way she has been doing since the Prison.  Melissa Mcbride?  When she cries, I cry.  Every effin’ time.  Aaron being there just made it hurt more.  But at least someone was there to see how and really take in how she continues to break pieces of herself off to keep her family as whole and safe and happy as she can.  

Rewinding a minute--that Magna and Carol conversation.  I get Magna’s reasoning too.  I do.  But Angela is just making everything so dire right now so that the sun when Connie is ultimate found shines a ltitle brighter.  

Those babies know they’re eating horse.  I could never.  

That’s got to be a different Coco.  She’s even smaller.  But she’s gorgeous.  

Fucking finally.  Angela having the other characters notice after an eternity of being blind to it, just how much Carol sacrifices of herself for them.  It’s so long overdue and I imagine Rosita’s even more worried for Carol now.  It’s a shame it’s taken 11 seasons.  My baby’s had blood on her hands trying to keep her family safe and whole and happy and fed for a long damn time.  So heartbreaking watching her try to scrub the blood away.  

Sweet, sweet hug that Kelly gave Magna.  She’s such a sweetheart kid sis to all of them, isn’t she?  

Interesting place of refuge.  A gutted church.  A visual symbol, Angela, of where Maggie and the rest of our people are now perhaps?  

“It’s easy for you, isn’t it?  Being reckless with sombody’s life...”  Maggie.  Maggie.  Those words would have hit so much harder if we hadn’t spent the majority of the last 2.5 episodes watching you ignore sound advice just because it came out of the mouth of somebody you (justifiably) hate.  

But will Alden be there when Maggie and Negan get back?  That is the question.  Or will he eventually Lucille himself?  

That little bit of lineup Negan music to remind the audience of Negan lovers and sympathizers that he once took great pleasure in murderously swinging a bag at people’s heads was a nice, subtle touch there.  Like agree with her or not, Maggie  is literally left to rely  on the hope, however small it is, that Negan has changed just enough that he won’t try to finish a job he taken on years before--killing what’s left of her.  

Oh lawd.  Next episode sees the return of a character literally nobody asked for.  How excited am I not?  

Dog better not be harmed or so help me.  

Now for Angela’s weekly explanations of WTF she/there were thinking because they been doing this plausible deniability thing so long some people out there watching with biased, muddy stan glasses can no longer separate head canon from canon.  

Is Maggie worried at all about Daryl or does she just assume his superhero powers are in full effect in this episode?  

“You can’t really say it wasn’t going to happen anyway.”  Not Angela pointing out that simply laying the blame for literally everything bad that ever happens at Carol’s feet isn’t the answer.  Say it louder for those in the back.  Alpha was going to do what Alpha wanted to do.  

“There is love there.  There is respect there.  However, there’s also frustration...”  You damn skippy.  Friendships and human relationships are complex AF.  Like Carol. She’s honestly one of the most complicated characters on this show and any show, IMHO.  That’s what makes her so memorable and such a lightning rod for discussion.  

I know I might be in a minority, but I really feel like they need more of those little scenes between the kids to keep things real.  

Kang saying she always feels like she’s going to get murdered in a staircase or parking lot is relatable, funny, and sad all at the same time.  It’s a girl thing.  

Why is Carol’s story giving me Dark Knight vibes?  Like I feel like she’ll gladly shoulder the burden of their distrust, their hate, or their judgment as long as the hard choices she makes keeps them safe.  And she’s still ultimately going to come back to save their asses even when they forsake her.  Just like Bruce Wayne/Batman.  Am I reaching too far, lol?  Because sometimes I do that.  

Anyway.  This is the third episode of the season and the third episode in a row that I mostly enjoyed.  I don’t know if I’m just so relieved and happy to have all the characters and my show back or what, but overall?  I’ve been pleased with the episodes and found something to love in all of them.  

There’s a much stronger horror vibe woven throughout Season 11 so far.  I feel like it’s a return to the roots of the show and I like that.  Literally none of the characters are making perfect choices and this viewer is here for it.  My only complaint so far is there hasn’t been enough Carol but what we’ve been given has felt like a gift and significant in a way that Gimps’ version was not.  Also?  I really hope the trend of the ladies working together and supporting each other continues because they rule the TWD world, lol.  

Hope you enjoyed at least some of my TWD word vomit.  

Until next episode.  

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Sorry for bring my comments so late, I have been helping my Mother with her shop and also watching series my friend recommended me, But now I'm here Excited to Read More!

Chapter 18

you know, reading about MC distancing themself from Rowan Never Would not be a total pain for me, Like, The Friendship between MC and Rowan showed in screen was always so wholesome but Yet so sad, because You really don't have an option to keep your Friendship with Them, because The Writing Of The game makes You simply be distant from them. The only thing that makes have a little hope for Rowan It's The Fanfic says loosely follows plot till Year 6 and The Fictober was created I Think Before “that” chapter. God, It's just a paragraph and I'm really thinking in that.

DAMN. For Some reason I never really expected Bellatrix to being mentioned and just gonna Say Poor Tonks, Like in-game She has a Easy going Personality but It's really concerning when You remember What happens and What She dealts with. And can I just Say The Headcannon Of her hating her real face because resembles Bellatrix makes Perfect sense and It's so Beautiful in a really angsty and murky kind Of way? Because It's similar that happens to One Of my Oc's, She has a trauma related to her twin sister that's The reason She has eisotrophobia (Fear to The reflection on The mirror) because She always sees her Twins face and The worst Part Is her Mother stills confusing Them because Never expected The day She Will see The Twins Split up. It's a Story I Thought when I was with my psychologist.

I love The saltiness Of Luca to Dumbledore, It's... actually Pretty Understandable, Dumbledore in The Books was already Shady and The most funny part It's probably Rowling didn't even wanted him to come off as that, Why then make The main Character, One Of The principal victims of Albus, give His name to His son? and in Hphm Albus It's still a manipulator but Like a Dumb manipulator, In The game it's More apparent that He's a Shady person and It's not half as subtle as it Was in The whole series. Having that, I Think It's really satisfying seeing a HP Protagonist actually face him off and see who he actually Is.

Luca is a total softie for Merula, They're really adorable.

OHOH I LITERALLY SCREAMED

Luca Trying so Hard to have a Happy memory for The Patronus It's honestly really... personal to me, like I have Many Intrusive Thoughts when I try to revive a Happy memory because Of my own trauma related Things I Can't even Like things I used to. But I'm really proud Of Them for finally making it, Can't I Even Start to describe how Many soft feelings The memory and The whole “Mitten Is my patronus” give me, Your ideas are so awesome I Can't

Luca comforting Merula It's SO BEAUTIFUL and hits too close to home, I hace Many Friends with low self-esteem believing They're Bad persons and I'm The One who brings Them to earth.

It's Good to see The Racoon Again, I'm already putting On my Inner Sherlock Holmes for knowing Of Who Is The Patronus

This Message really It's too long, I'll keep reading In Other menssage in Other day, I Hope your Mother It's fine and takes care Of herself. Have a Good, Brandon!

— The Remembrance anon

Oh my good friend, I am the last person to complain about late comments right now, believe me. You won’t hear any objections from me because I’ve been responding at a snail’s pace myself (and my beloved anons have been so very patient) and because no matter how long it may take for whatever reason, I am always delighted to hear from you, so thank you for making my day! 

Trust me, the bit about Rowan bothers me as well. I wanted to incorporate the “Rowan is R” theory because it’s almost a little ridiculous that no one in-game brings up the possibility until the middle of Year 5, when MC has known about R since the start of Year 2. Like, I wanted to acknowledge it. Plus I think it can give a good in-universe explanation for the distance between MC and Rowan beyond the horribly cynical idea that MC outgrew them, which I flat out refuse to accept. Luca would never, could never, leave Rowan behind like that for something so shallow. As for what is to come...well, I suppose you’ll just have to see! You are right though, I think we were like, nine or ten chapters into Year 6 at the point I was writing this. 

I have so many headcanons about Tonks and as I went through Luca’s story, I realized that I could absolutely incorporate them. Because she’s canon, she’s one of those characters that it’s easy to forget about or take for granted in the background, but hey - she’s in Luca’s House, part of the best friend squad they formed in Chapter 6, and is one of their roommates on most nights. Plus Luca has a curious tendency to bond with the wildly chaotic types, so of course Tonks would be one of their closest friends. Can I further say that the whole concept you just described about the twins is fantastic and hella chilling? I would read about that. I would read a whole book about that. 

Oh, you like Luca’s displeasure with Dumbledore? Hmm, methinks you’re going to like some of the future chapters then...Truly, I didn’t originally intend for this to be an aspect of their character, but the whole incident with them being punished for dueling Merula in Year 1 really stuck with them somehow. It’s very much something that they inherit from me, the criticisms of Dumbledore, but I never realized that a character this soft would inherit them. Fun fact: I used to have a different MC who basically morphed into my iteration of Jacob that always hated Dumbledore because they were just like him and saw him for what he was, one manipulator to another. In general, I have to applaud what this game has done with him because he’s one hundred percent in character - hence why he enrages me so much. 

See, see now I’m curious what inspired you to scream. Part of me wants to guess, the other half of me doesn’t want to be presumptuous or pompous. Either way, I’m glad to have gotten such reactions! In any case, thank you so much for what you said about Luca and Merula and the Patronus scene. It means a lot to me because with Luca I basically tried my hand at writing a character with a debilitating mental illness, (a fictional one, obviously) and I wasn’t sure if it landed well or not. One thing I feel very strongly about is MC and Merula’s bond, especially this MC. Luca is the one who picked the “We can talk this out” option at the start and never wavered from that. I’m not even gonna lie, I’ve gone back and forth a lot on what Luca’s Patronus would be, but this is a good one for them because it reflects the people in their life that they love. Not just Mitten, but Merula as well. (She’s a cat for sure.) 

Thank you so much once again for sending me these messages and showing me this kindness! I hope that everything is going well for you and that you have a wonderful time! 

[betweenlands]

Hullo, I really don’t mean to come off as validating Doc’s stand so please don’t take it as me doing so if I do! That out of the way, would it be possible to salvage the situation in any way? I know that Doc said some real. Not good. Stuff. Would it be possible to change his stance on the situation if people managed to convey the ways in which his views are wrong collectively? (1/5)

He’s mentioned quite a few times and just recently again that he dislikes racism very much and perhaps showing that his stance is actually racist and explaining why it is will get him to reconsider and realise his wrongs? It may just be that he doesn’t see how what he’s doing is racist because in his eyes he’s making sure to pay due respects while playing the character (2/5)

(thus perhaps to him negating the “wrongness” of his action? Again, just a guess as to why Doc may think the way he does rn, not condoning it at all!!) but not seeing that the action of him playing an indigenous character itself is wrong. (3/5)

Perhaps if the misconception were addressed and the explanation as to why his behavior is wrong was done in a way that caught Doc’s attention in a way that does not appear biased and judgmental his mind may be able to be changed. Perhaps a few native watchers who are not comfortable with Doc’s stance could also explain why they are uncomfortable and prompt Doc into seriously having to reconsider if the very people he wants to portray are not in approval of it? (4/5)

I understand that it might take a lot of effort to compile such a document of such large degree to boot, but perhaps if something is agreed on or something else as unified, something may be able to be done/a possible solution be found to change the outcome of the current situation for the better? Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you guys good luck with the situation at hand -someone who really wants to but can’t support Doc w the stuff going on w him rn (5/5)

hey anon! i think this is genuinely a great idea, and i’d say that doc walking back his actions and admitting that he was mistaken would be one of the best ways this could possibly end up resolving. i’d hate for this to end up going the way of some previous mcyt stuff (yogscast comes to mind, though i was really on the outskirts of that).

organizing and explaining in a reasonable manner why the behavior is wrong and why his actions hurt - holding your heroes accountable, as it were - does the world for people who either can’t speak up or feel like they’re being ignored. so by all means (especially if you are white) please do contact doc! keep your interactions civil - i’m not looking to form a hate brigade or call someone out - but let him know in no uncertain terms that this stuff is unacceptable.

i’ll admit i don’t really have high hopes for the situation at hand - i’m a bit too cynical, i guess - but well thought-out and articulated arguments like yours do the world for people who are being ignored and spoken over. even if doc refuses to change, people standing behind those who were wronged is a very good thing.

(any indigenous/first nations/native followers, please add onto this if need be - i’ll confess we’re not exactly well-versed in this kind of discourse, this comes from a general place of “what to do when someone is being kind of a fuckass”)

[freelancerfeels]

Damn, an original post? On this blog? Is this real life?? Thoughts on Zero below, there are some spoilers so be warned. This was meant to be my attempt at a critique but honestly it just turned into a long winded rant full of stuff other people have probably complained about already. I apologize in advance for the overall negative tone, but after watching the first 2 episodes twice I’m a little disheartened at the moment.

Alright, so I guess the good things first? The warthog racing scene aside, the visuals are pretty good! The fight scenes, especially involving the villains look impressive. The characters movements are smooth, the physics don’t seem too wild (depending on how you feel about teleportation); so overall I like it.  It’s good to see Wash and Lina again, it seems like the former made a full recovery despite his injuries which I’m a big fan of. Shotgun wielding Carolina in Ep 1 is certified BDE, and my boy copped a sweet promotion to Major in the offseason. So far I’m enjoying our antagonists; they look fuggin sweet, the dynamic between Phase and Diesel is amusing, and Zero gives off a mysterious leader vibe I can get behind. I’m sorry to say that’s about where it ends for me though. I have a laundry list of complaints so if you’re not interested in that I would stop reading here.  

I’m fairly indifferent towards Shatter Squad. The rivalry between East and One just feels like Carolina and Tex all over again, only with less animosity. Axel is the cliche team dad, Raymond is the awkward yet-to-prove-himself rookie, and West is the gritty, battle hardened team leader who doesn’t take any lip but cares deep down blah blah blah. It honestly feels like the writers have forgotten what made RvB so good in the first place. The first five seasons were literally just some idiots fucking around in a canyon with the occasionally plot line thrown in. It wasn’t the most visually impressive thing, but the characters were endearing and that made up for it.  The new cast just feels kind of cheesy and stereotypical, maybe that’s just me though.

Some of things I really hate? How about Wash immediately getting fucked up, tortured, and kidnapped. The poor dude literally just got over a TBI from the last season and they’re already using his suffering to advance the plot again. I’m really worried that we’re going to see either him or Lina get killed off and that would just wreck me. How about the complete absence of the Reds and Blues? I understand that some of the VA’s are gone and the others are busy running the company, but at least mention them. They’re the reason the show has made it this far; to just completely ignore them, especially after the character development Donut went through in S17, is mind boggling. There’s also not even a single whisper about Locus, Kimball, Dylan Andrews, Jax, or the cosmic powers we’ve just spent multiple seasons getting to know. They had so many options to bring back characters people really liked and they just dropped the ball. Like where the fuck is Huggins???

 Another thing that bothers me is the seemingly complete departure from the Halo universe. Have we just completely forgotten about the UNSC? You know, that one organization that PFL and Charon Industries were specifically shown as having ties to for like 11 seasons. What the fuck is AOD? At what point were Wash and Lina recruited into this new super secret squirrel program? There’s no continuity from previous seasons, which is fine if you want to take the show in a new direction, but then why use 2 characters who have been around for the past 12 and 9 seasons respectively? There’s armor, monsters, and weapons that have never existed in the Halo universe suddenly appearing from thin air. For some reason Agent East is able to move at inhuman speeds, not from armor enhancements like Carolina, but due to some unspecified experiments performed on her by some unmentioned till now organization only known as Starlight Laboratories. The  disregard for previously established canon details is just aggravating, and the way they just dumped these new things on us without any explanation feels cheap.

My last gripe for today is about the appearance and movements of the characters when they’re not fighting. The head movements when speaking are stilted and jerky, which didn’t seem to be an issue in previous seasons. One would think that with the fluidity of the fight scenes two characters simply chatting wouldn’t look so stiff and unnatural. The shadows and saturation in some scenes (warthog race) just look awful as well. Not to mention the appearance of the regular “soldiers” in the first episode. ACU-esque digital camouflages were out of style in the 2000′s, let alone the 2500′s.The voice acting also doesn’t really do it for me either, especially for Shatter Squad. In their defense, even Shannon and Jen seem a little off this season. The only characters I’ve enjoyed listening to so far have been Phase and Zero, the rest just don’t seem to mesh with their characters. 

To close this massive bitchfest I guess I’d just like to say it doesn’t feel like RvB anymore. Maybe it’s because RT has grown into such a giant soulless shell of what it once was. Maybe it’s because the people in charge of the show have forgotten where it’s come from and what we as fans enjoyed about it. Maybe it’s because all good things must eventually come to an end. Or maybe it’s just because I’m jaded.  What I do know is that I miss the Reds and Blues, I miss the dynamics that have been established over the past 17 seasons, and I miss how Wash and Lina had become members of their fucked up little family. Part of me wishes they had just pulled the plug and given all of them a happy ending in S17. I’d like to believe that the issue here is just me being cynical about the show going a direction I don’t agree with and that things will get better. At the end of the day, I’m just one salty person behind a keyboard and I hope that you guys are enjoying this season more than I am. 

Also, I still miss CT.

[this-is-a-love-story-fleabag]

Fork you, then (1/?)

You asked for this, you degenerates.

Fleabag saves her friend Boo's life and earns a spot in the Good Place, but is everything here really so perfect? And what's up with the hot priest next door? This chapter has 1208 words. Also on ao3.

"Watch out, Boo!" I shriek, throwing myself into the cycle lane to push my best friend out of the path of an approaching phalanx of bicycles and back onto the pavement.

The world goes white for a second.

All at once, I find myself sitting on a comfortable, overstuffed sofa in a bland, warmly-lit room. Blinking my eyes open, I read the bright green text splashed across the opposite wall.

"Welcome! Everything is fine."

"Watch out, Boo!" I shriek, throwing myself into the cycle lane to push my best friend out of the path of an approaching phalanx of bicycles and back onto the pavement.

The world goes white for a second.

All at once, I find myself sitting on a comfortable, overstuffed sofa in a bland, warmly-lit room. Blinking my eyes open, I read the bright green text splashed across the opposite wall.

"Welcome! Everything is fine."

Improbable.

A door in the wall opens, and a petite blonde woman steps out into the room, a tight-lipped but polite smile on her face.

"Hi there," she says. "I'm Eleanor. Come on in."

I follow her into the office, which is classy, in an 80s hotel reception kind of way.

"This is my assistant, Michael," she says, gesturing to a handsome older gent in a sharp suit who's hiding behind a plant. Very relatable.

She picks up a folder and shuffled through some papers, and I slide awkwardly into the chair opposite her, feeling like I'm walking into a job interview.

"You are dead," she says, far too calmly.

"Are you sure? I don't feel dead," I joke. She doesn't laugh.

Oh no, I'm in hell.

"You're in the Good Place," she continues. "Thanks to your selfless and wonderful acts down on earth, you have earned your place here in paradise."

Before I can stop myself, I snort. "Standards are really slipping, then." I am incredibly uncomfortable.

A muscle twitches in the side of her face. "According to your file here, which I can totally read, you've done some amazing things. Michael?"

I look back over my shoulder as he rouses himself a bit, giving his head a shake. "Saving your friend Boo-" he offers.

"Oh right," I say, remembering suddenly. How did I forget my best friend trying to commit suicide via cyclist? I turn back to... Eleanor, was it? "Can I see her? Is she OK? She's not dead, too, is she?"

"Let's see." She makes a sharp gesture, throwing a holographic screen into mid-air, and Boo's face appears, tear-stained but physically unharmed, having a massive panic attack on the pavement. Classic Boo.

"Boo is just fine. Would you like to see how you died?"

No. God no.

"Yes, thank you," I hear myself say.

Oops.

She brings the video up on the floating screen. Ugh, I hate watching videos of myself. Is that really what my nose looks like from the side?

I was expecting to see myself get hit by the first bike. I was not expecting the second or third. Or the bus that liquefied me after I got flipped into the road.

What a waste. My arse was having a real renaissance this month.

I can't tear my eyes away for what feels like an eternity, even when all there is on screen are paramedics attending to the pile of goo and crunchy bits that was formerly my body.

"What happens now?" I ask hoarsely. "Is there some kind of trial or, I don't know, application form?"

"No, your points total has already been calculated. We know for a fact that you belong here in the Good Place."

"That cannot possibly be the case."

She balks a little before plastering another polite smile onto her face. "How about I show you around the neighbourhood?"

"Listen," I say desperately, "I'm a greedy, perverted, selfish, apathetic, cynical, depraved, morally bankrupt woman who can't even call herself a feminist, so this is either an elaborate prank or you've made a terrible mistake."

She's unmoved. Fuck, I only pull out the brutal honesty as a last resort.

"We don't make mistakes," she says, with the firm conviction of someone who definitely makes mistakes.

"Fine," I acquiesce, resolving to drop the matter for the time being. "I'm ready for the tour, I guess."

The neighbourhood is, in a word, heavenly. There's no other way to describe it - everything is clean and beautifully designed, with verdant greenery and a frozen yogurt shop on every corner. All of the people I encounter are blandly, disturbingly cheerful and friendly.

Literally not one single person has laughed at my jokes so far. I might scream.

After a short stroll through the streets, while Eleanor points out the various features and amenities available to me, we arrive at what is apparently my house - which is, I have to say, objectively nice. A red-brick townhouse tucked in a corner of a charming little cobbled street, with climbing roses trailing over the front door and freesias bursting from the window boxes.

Inside is a comfortable-looking, reasonably chic bachelorette pad, featuring a well-stocked wine cellar, a shower big enough to host an entire rugby team (goals), and a living room mantelpiece covered in framed photos of my family and friends.

My gut tightens as I see Boo's smiling face beaming at me from behind the glass, flashes of memory assaulting me. Mum, dad and Claire are watching me from an old family photo, seeing right through me. I squeeze my eyes shut and turn away from their accusing faces.

I want a cigarette. Are you allowed to smoke in heaven?

Eleanor's voice drifts through my panic. "-sometime around seven, just as an informal getting-to-know-you," she's saying.

"Sorry, what?" I have to ask.

"Ugh, I'm sorry, I don't know how to talk to British people," she says. "You probably have different words for stuff. Uh, Tahani would call it a soiree?"

"Tahani?" I ask, clearly having missed a few steps in this explanation.

"It is I!" announces a six foot tall Amazonian goddess, striding dramatically through my front door. "I heard my name and thought it would be a good moment to make an entrance. I am Tahani Al-Jamil. Welcome to the neighbourhood."

"Wow, everyone here is really attractive," I try. Hey, if I can't make them laugh, I can at least flirt a bit, right? "This really must be heaven."

"It really is," says Eleanor with another tight, insincere smile. I look around the room. Seriously, no takers?

"I'm just here to bring you a little welcome basket, with some home-baked scones and clotted cream, and to invite you to tonight's soiree," continues Tahani, as though I hadn't said anything.

"Knew it," whispers Eleanor to Michael.

Tahani air-kisses me on both cheeks and makes her exit, leaving me with a basket of baked goods and an expensive-looking card proclaiming the location, time, and dress code of the party in gold letters. Informal evening wear, apparently.

I hear a knock at my door.

"That should be your next-door neighbour," says Eleanor, unlatching the door as though she owns the place. Which I guess she does? "He said he'd come say hi after he'd settled in."

Thank Christ, maybe he's a normal person. I swear, if someone doesn't either laugh at my jokes or fuck me in the next half hour I'm going to die. Again.

Eleanor ushers him in and he steps through the open door, holding a bottle of wine and waving with his other hand. I take him in, the handsome wave of his hair, the way his shirt strains over his biceps... and the dog collar around his beautiful neck.

Oh fuck. He's a fucking priest.

[sarah1281-takethree]

Maybe i missed a post, but could you explain what you didnt like about the good place?

The finale burned me so bad it ruined the rest of the show. Only the second time that happened (looking at you HIMYM)

For the most part, the things discussed in these two articles. 

https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2020/02/good-places-finale-made-heaven-look-hopeless/606001/

https://nerdist.com/article/the-good-place-finale-why-i-cant-accept/

A few days ago when this came up someone mentioned they hadn’t been able to watch the final season yet because it hadn’t come out on Netflix, I mentioned the finale horrified me so much the whole show was ruined, and a third person said I was being too dramatic using the word ‘horrified’ to describe a half-hour sitcom. Which really irritated me because they didn’t know my reasons and it is condescending as fuck to tell me I’m wrong about my feelings because they don’t think something meant to be a comedy can have such negative associations. 

So I explained my personal issues with it and they said I was being intentionally trying to be a cynical edgelord which would be insulting under any circumstances but it’s not like I enjoyed having a show I loved for four years ruined for me like that. It’s just how I took it and there was no need to be so continually dismissive because they didn’t agree. 

They said I was looking at it from a Christian perspective. Now, while it drives me crazy to be told I’m associated with Christianity since I am not Christian, I did not argue the point because while the fact that the concept of “cultural Christian” is infuriating because I don’t want to be forced into an association with a religion I do not choose (had enough of that growing up thank you very much), it is a valid point in this case. I am looking at it as people ceasing to exist at all being a bad thing that upset me. In the real world, I hate the idea so there being an afterlife and people noping out of that eventually to go not exist? Do not want. 

I know the Good Place, while steering clear of religion specifically, borrowed ideas from lots of religions and cultures. I guess the finale was more Buddhist there. 

But I wasn’t saying the finale was bad (I specifically said a bunch that it was very good quality, just hated the message). I didn’t say ceasing to exist or choosing to cease to exist is objectively bad and people are bad for believing/being okay with it. Just that I find the idea horrifying. So I didn’t understand why it mattered or was a problem for someone raised in a Christian culture to have a rather Christian emotional reaction to a TV show. 

They said it was a problem since I was using it to criticize the show and force my opinion on people. I did not think that was fair and reiterated that I was not trying to change anyone’s mind and had only explained why I did not like it because they had ridiculed my not liking it in the first place. Still trying to be diplomatic while feeling more and more attacked, I said the fact that they did not feel the same way that I did about philosophy and whatnot was likely why we had different reactions to the finale. 

Earlier in the conversation, I mentioned not liking a popular sequel film (which I can never just say without everyone telling me this movie is the best thing ever). And, why don’t my constant attempts to be diplomatic ever seem to work out, I didn’t say anything bad about that movie just that it changed the things I liked about the previous ones. 

So then they made a sarcastic comment about the philosophic masterpiece that was one of the earlier films in the series. Since it was clearly getting all ad hominem and I hadn’t wanted to have this discussion at all, just to try and get them to stop attacking me for not liking something they did (were they Buddhist or practice some other philosophy or religion that is more in line with the Good Place finale and so felt they were under attack? I can’t know), I decided to end it there. I said I looked for different things in my philosophy than I did in my choice of movies and that I was bowing out. 

I blocked this person, have not returned to the place this happened, made a quick post briefly expressing how ridiculous I felt it was that it seemed I was essentially being accused of being anti-non-Christian religions because concepts common to other religions do not appeal to me personally. 

If this explanation, which involved much painstaking reiterating these are all my personal reactions about a show not applied broader to philosophies or religion or people who feel differently and where I even did my best to say ‘it seemed like’ this person did something instead of they did, still somehow manages to offend someone I do not really want to hear it and I’m not going to get into it again. 

[seraph-novak]

Just the Way You Are

Summary ~ When Cyrus writes his number on TJ’s hand, a misunderstanding ensues... 

Also available on AO3 ♥

(Notes at the end)

It wasn’t until the streetlights flickered to life that TJ realised what time it was. He’d been sat on the swings with Cyrus for almost four hours, simply basking in the easy conversation that bounced between them, never once lapsing as they casually drifted from topic to topic. With Cyrus, talking was like breathing; his words never tripped over themselves, and his mind never wandered. His only complaint was that in moments like this, when it was just the two of them enjoying each other’s company, time moved far too quickly.

“It’s getting late,” Cyrus said reluctantly, glancing at the distant glow of the streetlights creeping into the park. “I should probably head home…”

TJ smiled tightly. He knew saying goodbye was inevitable, but it didn’t make it any less hard. Talking to Cyrus on the swings was his favourite part of the day, and the only time he felt truly content. He only wished they could hang out more often.

“Okay,” he said, offering Cyrus his hand as they hopped off the swings together. For a moment, his fingers curled and tightened around Cyrus’ hand, his pinkie shyly brushing the pink of his knuckles. When Cyrus’ pulse jumped beneath his touch, he finally let go. “Sorry,” he muttered, not sure why he was apologising in the first place. “Do you want me to walk with you?”

Cyrus shook his head. “I’ll be fine, but thanks.”

“Okay.”

“Same time tomorrow?”

“Sure,” he said, smiling despite the sting of Cyrus’ rejection. Well, it wasn’t exactly a rejection, but it still hurt. If Cyrus knew how badly he wanted to walk him home, maybe he wouldn’t be so quick to turn him down. Or maybe he’d be creeped out. TJ wouldn’t blame him.

“Are you okay?” Cyrus asked, as if sensing the downward spiral of thoughts wreaking havoc in TJ’s mind. At his answering silence, Cyrus placed a comforting hand on his arm and smiled knowingly. “I hate saying goodbye, too.”

TJ winced, a self-conscious blush pinching his cheeks. Despite Cyrus’ confession, he still itched with the embarrassment of having his feelings exposed. He felt inside out, the evening breeze brushing his beating heart as he stared down at his feet, too overwhelmed to meet Cyrus’ gaze. He wasn’t sure when his harmless crush on the younger boy had developed into something bigger – something real – but he knew for certain that there was no going back now. Ever since Buffy had introduced him to this loveable dork in the cafeteria almost three months ago, TJ had been a goner.   

“I just wish we could talk more,” he said softly, absently kicking at the woodchips beneath his feet. He scratched the back of his neck and sighed, finally daring to peer up at Cyrus through quivering lashes. “I mean, I get it… Your friends hate me. They think I’m a bad influence.” He huffed a humourless laugh. “They’re probably right, but still… I like talking to you.”

Cyrus chewed his bottom lip, visibly moved by TJ’s words. “I like talking to you, too.”

“But only on the swings, right?”

“No,” he said, a deep frown creasing his brow. “You think I like avoiding you in school, pretending I don’t know you? I hate it, Teej. I wish we could be friends without having to hide it. If only Buffy and Andi –”

“I get it, Cy. You don’t need to explain yourself.” TJ gave him a half-shrug and smiled, his jaw trembling with the effort not to cry. Even in the falling darkness, he could see the guilt etched into Cyrus’ expression, and he hated it, hated people feeling sorry for him. “I think I’m gonna head out, too… I’ll see you later.”

As he turned to leave, Cyrus grabbed his arm and held him back, the guilt shimmering in his eyes now shifting into desperation. “Wait!” he cried. “I don’t wanna leave things like this.”

“It’s fine, okay? I’ll talk to you tomorrow –”

“No!” Cyrus’ grip tightened around TJ’s arm, his knuckles turning white as he urged him to stay put. With his other hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen. For some reason, it made TJ chuckle. Of course Cyrus was the kind of person to carry emergency pens in his pocket.

“What are you doing?” he asked, studiously fighting the fond smile curling his lips.

Cyrus removed the pen cap with his teeth, then scribbled something on the back of TJ’s hand. When he moved his head out of the way, TJ could see a string of numbers written across his skin. It looked suspiciously like a phone number, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up.

“What’s this?”

“You know what it is,” Cyrus said, a flirtatious grin brightening his beautiful face. He traced the numbers delicately with the pad of his thumb, and TJ felt his breath hitch. “You’re right,” Cyrus murmured. “We don’t talk nearly enough.”

TJ dared to smile. “Are you asking me to call you, Underdog?”

“Call, text, FaceTime… I don’t care, as long as I get to talk to you as much as possible.”

A warm sense of giddiness pooled in his gut as he stared down at Cyrus, an uncontrollable grin devouring his face. They stood there in silence for a few moments, simply smiling at each other like a couple of idiots, and then Cyrus cleared his throat and took a step back. A light blush was creeping up his neck, and TJ had to look away before the urge to kiss him became unbearable.  

“So… I’ll text you?”

Cyrus nodded, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “Yeah, okay.”

“Night, Cyrus.”

“Night, TJ.”

On his way home, TJ replayed the past few minutes in his head over and over again, his heart fluttering at the memory of Cyrus’ bashful smile after writing the number on his hand. His face was aching from smiling by the time he crawled into bed, and he didn’t waste any time putting Cyrus’ number into his phone and sending him a text.

Hey, Underdog. Guess who?  

A few seconds later, a red exclamation mark popped up beside the message, underlined by the words “failed to send”.  

TJ frowned. That was weird. After resending the text, and getting the same result, he tried calling him instead. There were a few crackling beeps, and then a robotic voice told him the number wasn’t recognised.

“What the hell?”

His throat started to tighten as understanding set in. Cyrus must’ve given him a fake number. It was the only explanation. Yeah, there was a chance he wrote it down wrong, but this was Cyrus; he was meticulous when it came to things like this. And it made sense, didn’t it? Cyrus had clearly chosen Buffy and Andi over him, and now he was delaying telling him. Everything that had happened in the park earlier had been a lie, just a sneaky way to appease his desperation to be liked for a little while longer. He felt like an idiot.  

“Well,” he said to himself, swallowing thickly as silent tears spilled down his cheeks. “I guess that’s the end of that.”

~~~~~

Avoiding Cyrus was more difficult than he’d anticipated. Despite his betrayal, TJ still ached for the other boy, still missed him in a way that tied his stomach into knots whenever he thought about him. He kept searching for him without even meaning to, his heart begging for just a glimpse while his head cursed at him for being so weak. He couldn’t help it; he was a mess.

Even now, when it was growing dark outside and Cyrus was surely at home texting his real friends and forgetting all about him, TJ found himself heading towards the park. Besides a couple of birds picking at the woodchips, it was empty, but TJ had excepted as much. Still, he couldn’t ignore the twinge of disappointment in his chest.

“Damn it,” he muttered to himself, throwing his bag on the ground as he approached the swings. With his hands gripping the cold, metal chains, he hung his head and sighed. “I miss you…”

“I miss you, too.”

TJ flinched, his heart leaping into his mouth as he turned around. Much to his surprise, Cyrus was standing on the edge of the park, a sad smile ghosting his lips. After a moment of simply staring at each other, Cyrus made the first move and walked towards him.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he said.

TJ shrugged. “Well, I’ve been busy.” The lie was heavy on his tongue, like a lead weight slipping down the back of his throat, but he soldiered on. “I’m surprised you noticed.”

“What’s that meant to mean?”

“It’s not like we see each other much, is it?” TJ tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a strangled whimper.

Cyrus frowned. “But, that’s why I gave you my number –”

“Oh, yeah! Your number.” He shook his head slowly, a cynical smile twisting his mouth. “That was a good one. You really got me.”

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb.”

“I’m not!” Cyrus exclaimed, his confusion giving way to anger. “Why are you being like this?”

“How did you expect me to react, Cy?”

“I thought you were happy when I gave you my number? I thought… I thought that we…” For a moment, Cyrus seemed lost, like the world was off-kilter and he couldn’t find his balance, and TJ had to restrain himself from reaching out and offering his support. “I guess I misread the situation,” Cyrus murmured, more to himself than TJ. “I’m sorry.”

At that, TJ deflated, all of his pent-up frustration dissolving into utter, bone-deep sadness. “Why did you do it?” he asked. “That’s all I wanna know.”

“You already know why.”

“I really don’t.”

“Fine.” Cyrus threw his hands in the air, flecks of tearing springing from his eyes as he did so. “I like you!” he cried. “And not just as a friend. Are you satisfied now?”

TJ blinked at him. “Wait… What?”

“Don’t make me say it again.”

“But that makes no sense!”

“Why not? You’re handsome and funny and you listen to me –”

“No, no, no.” TJ waved him off, his head spinning too much to appreciate the compliments spilling out of his crush’s mouth. “I mean, why would you give me a fake number if you liked me? Is that your weird way of playing hard to get or something?”

Cyrus wrinkled his nose. “Fake number?”

“The one you wrote on my hand? It didn’t exist!”

“That can’t be right.”

“I tried texting you and calling you, but the number wasn’t recognised.” He paused to gather his thoughts, internally wading through the confusing mix of emotions buzzing inside his head. “I thought you did it on purpose, so you wouldn’t have to reject me in person.”

Cyrus spluttered a laugh. “Are you serious? You really thought I was trying to reject you?”

“Well…”

“TJ, I gave you my real number. I know I did.”

“You definitely didn’t.” TJ fished his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Cyrus. “Check the messages. They failed to send because the number wasn’t real.”

Cyrus scrolled through the undelivered texts, a brief smile passing his lips, then pointed at the screen. “This isn’t my number,” he said, raising his eyebrows at TJ. “You must’ve copied it off your hand wrong.”

“I didn’t! I checked!”

“Well, I didn’t forget my own number, TJ!”

“Then how do you explain –” He froze mid-sentence, a sudden realisation dawning on him. Within seconds, his cheeks were burning with shame, and his stomach was starting to churn. He clenched his fists and stared down at his feet, a tremor running through his jaw as he forced himself to open his mouth and speak. “Cyrus… What does that number say?”

“What do you mean?”

“Can you please just read it out for me.”

Cyrus furrowed his brow, but did as he was told. “It says 801-460-1254.”

“Oh no…”

“What’s wrong?”

“This is so embarrassing.”

“TJ?”

“I’m an idiot,” he said, his voice cracking as fresh tears sprung to his eyes. With a shaky breath, he took the phone out of Cyrus’ hand and read the number, a sob catching in his throat as his brain refused to focus on what he was seeing. No matter how hard he tried, the numbers felt jumbled and confused in his mind, like the order was lost in translation from the screen to his brain. “I thought I was past this… Guess not.”

Cyrus placed a tentative hand on his shoulder. “Talk to me, TJ.”

“You won’t like me anymore.”

“I seriously doubt that’s going to happen.”

“Even if I’m stupid?”

“You are not stupid,” Cyrus gently scolded him, his hand slipping down TJ’s arm to thread their fingers together. “Please, just tell me what happened.”

Encouraged by the squeeze of Cyrus’ hand, TJ sucked in a deep breath and told him the truth: “A couple years ago, I was diagnosed with a learning disability… Dyscalculia. It’s like dyslexia, but with numbers. Which explains why I suck at math, but… I never thought I had to worry about stuff like this.” He flicked a glance at Cyrus, chewing the inside of his cheek as he tried to gauge his reaction. “Still like me now?”

Cyrus swept a thumb over his knuckles. “I think I like you even more, actually.”

“Because I’m stupid?”

“Because you’re brave.”

TJ snorted. “I’m a coward, Cy. A stupid coward.”

“You just had the guts to confide in me about something you’re clearly uncomfortable about. You don’t think that’s brave?”

“I’ve been avoiding you for days,” TJ countered, finally looking Cyrus in the eye as his embarrassment gave way to frustration. He was overwhelmed with anger and guilt, caught between apologising profusely and punching himself in the face. “Doesn’t that bother you? I was in so much denial over this stupid disability that I blamed you, the only person who’s ever given a damn about me… Why aren’t you more upset right now?”

“I am upset,” Cyrus said, his words achingly soft as he took a step closer to him. “But not because I’m mad at you. I’m upset that you don’t understand how amazing you are.”

TJ winced. “You don’t know me.”

“Of course I do.”

“We hardly talk… Your bodyguards make sure of that.”

“Well, not anymore,” Cyrus said, his eyes twinkling. “I love Buffy and Andi, but I’m not gonna let them control my life. And if they’re really my friends, they’ll understand.” He hooked his pinkie around TJ’s thumb and smiled. “At the end of the day, they want me to be happy. And you’re what makes me happy.”

TJ licked his lips and glanced away. “What about the other thing?” he asked, his eyes glued to the corner of the sky. “I can’t even copy a number off my own hand without screwing up… Why the hell would a straight-A student like you wanna be with an idiot like me?”

Cyrus shrugged. “Why would a perfect athlete like you wanna be with a physically-incompetent nerd like me?”

“That’s different.”

“It really isn’t.”

“But –”

“We all have our own stuff,” Cyrus carefully interjected. “You struggle with numbers, and I struggle with sports. Our brains are just wired differently, okay? That’s not a bad thing.”

“It’s not as black and white as that…”

“Maybe not,” Cyrus conceded. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I still like you. I doubt anything would at his point.”

After a few moments of silence – no longer heavy with tension, but light with the promise of a fresh start – Cyrus took TJ’s other hand and slowly eased the phone from his grip, completely casual as his fingers danced across the screen.

“What are you doing?” TJ asked.

Cyrus waggled his eyebrows. “I’m giving you my number,” he said simply, handing back the phone with a giddy smile that erupted a swarm of butterflies in TJ’s stomach. “I like being with you, and I like talking to you. So, if you feel the same way, give me a call sometime.”

A boyish grin crept across his face. “How about tonight?”

“Okay.” Cyrus bit his lip. “I’ll be waiting.”

And with that, he bounced a few step backwards, his eyes gleaming as he held TJ’s gaze, and walked away. At the edge of the park, he turned around and waved goodbye, his gorgeous smile making TJ lightheaded even from a distance. A dizzying sense of happiness filled his lungs and burst out of him, painting the evening sky yellow with the colour of his laughter. Cyrus had barely been gone for two minutes, but he couldn’t wait any longer; he had a very important call to make.

“Hey,” he said, smiling at the sound of Cyrus’ voice on the other end of the phone. “You free to talk?”

THE END

Hey, guys! I’m taking a little break from writing at the moment to focus on work and school, but last week’s episode inspired me... Plus, I missed writing Tyrus! I’ve still got a few requests to finish (sorry for the delay!) and then I might consider writing a multi-chapter fic. Would anyone be interested in a Prince!Cyrus/Apprentice!TJ AU? I’ve got a story planned out, but I’m not sure if this sort of thing would appeal to anyone. Please let me know!

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

Barbie: Princess and the Popstar REVIEW:

 Hello everybody, my name is JoyofCrimeArt and I hate myself. Barbie.

 The Direct-to-DVD Barbie movies aren't something that I, and I assume many of you reading this, ever really thought about to much. They we're always that movie that you would see in the Wal-mart "five dollar" DVD racks. Or maybe you'd see a snip-it of one airing on Nickelodeon at like, twelve o'clock on a Sunday afternoon. Compared to, say, the direct-to-DVD Scooby-Doo movies the Barbie movies seem to be a lot less attention. Which is why it came to such a shock to me that there are SO MANY!  Thirty-six. As of the time of me writing this review there are thirty-six direct-to-DVD Barbie movies. And not only that, but they are divided into several different continuities and "seasons" as Wikipedia list it. The Barbie movies are a massive franchise! I just can't wait until their next film. Barbie: Infinity War. That one will make all the money!  So in order to honor such a long lasting franchise, I figured it was about time somebody gave Barbie the respect she deserves. The movie we're going to be talking about today, Barbie: Princess and the Popstar is the twenty-third entry in what I have titled the Barbie: Cinematic Universe. I had actually seen this one a couple of years ago on Nickelodeon. And it is, as of the writing of this review, the only Barbie movie that I have seen. Why did I choose to watch this movie oh so many years ago do you ask? Well, it was because of the title. Princess and the Popstar. Most Barbie movies have kinda dumb overly girly titles, but this one takes the cake. Princess and the Popstar! Somebody was PAID to come up with this!  And you wanna know the really crazy thing? This isn't even the first Barbie movie to be an adaptation of Mark Twain's "The Prince and the Pauper." There was another, I'm assuming more straight forward, adaptation in 2004. But I guess marketing decided that Mark Twain's classic novel just...didn't have enough pop stars to meet "Girls between the ages of 2-7" demographic.  But hey, maybe the film won't be so bad. I mean the film is directed by Zeke Norton, who directed both Scary Godmother films. And those films...exist. Anyway, no more stalling. Let's dive head first to Barbie: Princess and the Popstar.

 The movie begins with a pop concert. And honestly, I can't imagine it starting any other way.  Famous pop star Keira (voiced by Ashleigh Ball.) is preforming a music tour in the fictional kingdom of Meribella, in celebration of the 500th anniversary of the countries founding. We see her preform her set. We then cut away the kingdoms princess, Princess Tori (voiced by Kelly Sheridan.) standing outside her castle's balcony, listening to the event from a distance.  And if those voice actresses names sound at all familiar to you that's because our two heroines are voiced by Applejack and Starlight Shimmer, respectively, from My Little Pony.

UGH! As if I didn't already have enough reason to hate Starlight Shimmer! ... Starlight Shimmer is the one that everybody hates, right?  Princess Tori wants to go down to the concert, but she is stopped by her Aunt, Dutchess Amelia. And I want you to guess, purely from her design, what her personality is.

If you said, stuffy old authority figure who's too focused on tradition and doesn't get the joke, than congratulations! You can predict a Barbie movie!  Princess Tori wants to go to the concert, but her Aunt forbids it because Tori has to write and preform a speech for the kingdoms five hundredth anniversary event. And she hasn't even started writing it yet. But Princess Tori isn't one for all this "traditional, princess stuff." She's goofy, mischievous, and a bit of a prankster. She's just too much of a rebellious free spirit for all this noise. Like all princesses in animation she dreams of something more. She dreams of being able to live her own life, free from all the rules and restrictions that being royalty presents. But, y'know, she still wants all the riches and glamour. Cause hey, that shit is sweet!  Meanwhile, Keira is busy dealing with all of her pop star duties. She's headstrong, and a bit of a workaholic. She runs every part of her tour, from lighting, costumes, to TV broadcast all herself. She doesn't even let her manager, Seymour Crider, do any of the work and ignores all of his advice. Keira is under pressure from her record label to write a new album. She says she's working on it, but with all the workload of running the music tour she just isn't feeling very inspired. And Crider is the one who has to deal with all the heat from the higher ups. Keira is just tired of all the pressure from the studio, and wishes she could not have all the responsibility of being a pop star. But, y'know, she still wants all the riches and glamour. Because, as we previously stated, that shit is sweet!  I can relate with Keira. The constant stress of deadlines and work on other projects can make ANYBODY feel uninspired. Sometimes people will become so desperate that they'll be willing to do any half-ass project in order to to stay ahead of deadlines. Like doing a lazy Q&A, or reviewing a Barbie movie.  ...  Wait....  So as you may have noticed by now, none of the characters in this movie are named Barbie! So already, this movie is clickbait. As it turns out, a lot of these Barbie movies don't actually star Barbie. Rather they star "characters portrayed by Barbie" which is all sorts of confusing. But hey, it could be worse I guess. They could be portrayed by Amy Schumer. But luckily we still got a few years before that happens.   Oh, by the way, magic exist in this world. Yeah, I know I bring that up pretty suddenly, but so does the film. Princess Tori has a magic hairbrush that changes her hair, and Keira has a magical microphone that changes her outfit. And nothing is really brought up about this. Like the characters in the film say that it's magic, but nothing else is really elaborated upon. Because outside of the magic, the world the film presents seems to more or less be the same as our world. It's not like it's some fairy tale kingdom or anything, it's set in contemporary times. It's never brought up where the magic comes from, it's just there. And it's even weirder because all they use there magic for is for changing there hair and outfit. Y'know, THINGS YOU CAN DO WITHOUT MAGIC!

Either that dress has a very large pocket, or this scene about to get a lot more uncomfortable.    Anyway, the studio blames Keira's manager Crider for not having the album done already. Because like in the real world, pop stars don't have to suffer any responsibility for there actions. Crider is by far the best character in this movie. He is the most over the top, foppish gay man you've ever did see. We learn a bit about his backstory, as he was once a child star himself on this universes version of Alvin and the Chipmunks. But when puberty hit he fell from the lime light faster than Macaulay Culkin. So naturally he is not only bitter at Keira for having to be blamed for all her actions, but also because he is jealous of her fame. He's a great villain not just because of how over the top flamboyant he is, but also because he gives a refreshing breath of cynicism and bitterness that the movie is otherwise lacking. Also he's voiced by Rolf from Ed Edd'n Eddy. He doesn't sound like Rolf, like at all. But simply knowing that makes the whole film a lot more enjoyable.  He tells his bumbling sidekick Rupert (Because why wouldn't he have a bumbling sidekick? I mean have you seen the type of movie this is?) that he plans on meeting Princess Tori's Aunt Amelia during a PR event, wooing her, and then inheriting all her money when she eventually passes away.

 Crider, Rupert, and Keira arrive at the castle the next day and Crider begins his plot to woo the duchess. Meanwhile, Princess Tori and Keira and immediately hit it off. They are both huge fans of the other, and become fast friends. Tori offers to give Keira a tour of the castle. They begin talking about the problems that they are both going through. This is where they hatch the idea to switch places, and do so using there magic hairbrush and microphone, in order to make themselves look exactly like the other.  Oh, and they also each have a dog. Because hey, little girls like dogs. There are some brief scenes we see between the dogs where they talk to each other in "animal language." but overall they don't contribute much to the plot, other than added marketability. Interesting side note, in the 2004 Barbie: Princess and the Pauper film they both had cats instead. Again, I guess dogs were just deemed more marketable.  Keira and Tori, now disguised as each other, continue there tour of the castle. This is when Tori decides to show Keira, the person she literally just met, the castles most valuable secret. A secret that only members of the royal family are permitted to know about. And this is where the movies gets WEIRD!  Okay, so they activates a secret passage and find a tree. And this tree, which only blooms once every five years, is a magic tree. That is guarded and cared for by a group of magically fairies. And the tree grows diamonds, which Tori says royal family uses the money from these diamonds to help the people! Though the fairies still give a diamond each to our protagonist. Again, it's weird because the world they create in this films universe SEEMS fairly real to our own. But then they just add random magical elements to it with no explanation. They could of at least included some backstory on where this tree came from. It feels like there just trying to check stuff off there "pandering to little girls" bingo sheet.

AH! BINGO! I GOT BINGO!  

Unfortunately for our heroines, Tori FORGOT TO CLOSE THE SECRET DOOR PANEL BEHIND HER and Aunt Amelia ends up finding the two snooping around the secret garden. AND SHE DOESN'T CLOSE THE DOOR EITHER! How the heck has this secret been kept for five hundred years? She get's mad at Keira (Who's still disguised as Tori) and the three leave the chamber. But unbeknownst to them, since Aunt Ameila DIDN'T CLOSE THE FRICKIN' SECRET PASSAGEWAY Crider finds out about the diamond tree. And now he decides to change his plan from marrying into money, to just stealing all the diamonds for himself. But that conflict can wait, because we have pop songs to preform.

 This movie has a lot of pop songs. Like, about a third of the movie is pop songs. And I have to say...there actually really good. If you're into that kinda pop punk type of music that is. The voice actresses each have a separate singing voice in the form of Jennifer Waris (Tori) and Tiffany Giardina (Keira) and both singers really knock it out of the part. Not only that but there is also some really well done choreography. Not only that, but the film also really takes advantage of the CG medium, with some impressive camera angles and panning shots. I mean it's not the greatest thing ever or anything, but for a direct-to-DVD Barbie movie, I was pleasantly surprised. I feel like this is where the passion was when it came to making this movie. Like the story was second to the music.

 However, I would be lying if I said that the music didn't drag on a bit. Just due to how much is in the special. Not only that but several songs are used more than once, which isn't that bad because they sound really good, but it does make it feel a bit repetitive. That said though, I was suppressed by how good this aspect of the film was.

 So Tori and Keira both begin trying to fulfill the role of the others. However, the both seem to have a bit of trouble living up to the expectations of there new roles. Typical stuff you would expect from a

"Prince and the Pauper"

adaptation. Tori, now being disguised as a low class...world famous pop star....decided to take this opportunity to explore her kingdom beyond her castle without escorts.

(Because, yeah, a pop star TOTALLY wouldn't have escorts with her when she's walking through the slums of a foreign nation.)

And Tori ends up coming across something she's never seen before. Poor people!

 More specifically two poor little girls, who are taken a back by "Keira's" presence. We learn that, despite how glamorous the castle life is for the royal family, the kingdom itself is actually suffering. A major drought had occurred in the kingdom the year prior, and while the wealthy nobility we're not effected much the poor people are still suffering, and Princess Tori was completely oblivious to what was going on the entire time.

 So now that Princess Tori has finally

 Checked

 HER

CIS

 WHITE

PRIVILEGE!!!

 -she decides to try to do right for the people by holding a free concert for all the underprivileged children. (Since the kids she met weren't able to afford to go to the concert at the beginning of the movie.) Not only that, but the whole royal family would be in attendance, and the concert would be broadcast live on TV to help raise awareness for the issue. Though Tori and Keira agree that they need to make sure they swap back before the concert starts.

 Keira (disguised as Tori) begins to finally be able to relax without all of her pop star-ly duties. She begins to play and have fun with Tori's two little sisters, (who quickly figures out who she is.) And as it turns out, this break from all the stress of preforming and recording is what Keira needs in order to get re-inspired.

 The day of the concert arrives, and Keira tries to meet up with Tori to swap places before the show begins. But rut-row, Aunt Amelia shows up and finds that "Tori" never ended up writing her speech. And because of this, Amelia refuses to let "Tori" go to the concert and locks her in her room. I do like that Keira actually does try to tell Amelia about the body swap ploy, in order to get her to let her out of the room. But Aunt Amelia doesn't believe her, and heads out for the concert.

 As this is all happening, Crider and Rupert begin there plan to steal the diamond tree. They walk back into the castle claiming that the duchess sent them, and because plot the guards just let them in unsupervised.

 Meanwhile at the concert, the crowd begins to get restless, and Tori is forced to go on stage and preform as Keira. She get's onstage, and is nervous. She begins to preform, badly. But then, with the power of "doing it her way"...whatever the hell that's suppose to mean, she is able to give a performance good enough that nobody is able to tell who she is in a pop song performance that last a total of five minutes straight in this seventy minute film!

 The concert is a success. But wait, Crider and Rupert have successfully broken into the castles secret garden and have to face off against the fairies. Hey look, it's fairy vs fairy!

 ...

 Am I allowed to make that joke?

  Also Rupert brought bug spray to kill the fairies, which is pretty horrific for the villains bumbling side kick. Especially when you realize that this would be a Barbie movie that would have one of the villains using chemical weapons on his opponents. Granted, this doesn't happen, because Rupert accidentally bough hair spray instead, but still. It was his INTENT to use bug spray! Also, of course the villains of a Barbie movies use hair spray as a weapon.  

 Crider cuts the roots of the diamond tree all of the trees in the surrounding area begin to die. To which I have to ask....why? Is it like a redwood thing, where all the trees are actually just a part of this one organism? If that's the case than why don't all the tree's grow diamonds? Or is this a magic thing? Prior to this scene the tree was never implied to have any magical abilities besides growing diamonds. Was a jewel heist just not deemed an exciting enough climax, so they felt the need to raise the stakes here?

 Keira, with the help of Tori's dog, are able to find a secret passage way out of the room and she and Tori both notice the dying trees and run to stop Crider from escaping with the tree. They also switch back into there real identity, and I just now realize as I'm writing this that Crider does not question this very much. HE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE WHOLE IDENTITY SWAPPING THING.

 Also, let me talk about something that bothers me. There was this character earlier named Prince Liam who's "potrayed by Ken." He had a few scenes early on with Keira (who was disguised as Tori at the time.) I didn't bring him up because he honestly didn't really do anything that was important to the plot. But then, suddenly in the climax, he shows up like he was a main character or something. And he's annoying. He feels really tacked on, like the producers realized that there wasn't a romance element to this film and decided at the hour mark that there needed to be one. Except that doesn't even work because he doesn't even end up with either girls. With I admit was a pleasant surprise, that neither girls in the movie end up with a love interest. But it makes Liam's existence even more worthless. Also he's kinda misogynistic, talking about saving the "damsels in distress." even though they save themselves. All Liam does is take down Crider's sidekick.

 Crider runs to his limo, but is blocked by the dogs. Cause y'know, a pug and a King Charles spaniel just COMPLETELY BLOCK THE ENTIRE PATH!  So he ends up be stealing a horse drawn carriage in order to make his escape. Tori get's into Crider's limo and we get a kinda fun car/horse drawn carriage chase striped right out of the end of Ouran High School Host Club.  How is it that I've reviewed two things with that very weird and specific climax?  Anyway, they cut off Crider's carriage, but he has an ace up his sleeve. Turns out his leopard print tuxedo is also a GLIDE SUIT and he jumps off a cliff to make his dramatic escape! And that's why Crider the best character in this movie.  But then Keira just zaps him with her magic microphone and turns his suit into a dress. And Tori zaps his hair to make it look more feminine.    The villain is defeated, but the tree is still dead. But Tori has an idea. They suspect that maybe the diamonds that grew off the tree could act as the trees seeds. They go back to the garden and take the diamonds that the fairies gave them earlier and plant them into the ground. The fairies use there magic and at first it doesn't look like it'll work. But then, the tree begin to regrow and all the life returns to all the other trees all over the castle. This is actually a clever twist, except for the fact that the tree still has diamonds on it, even though they specifically say that it takes five years for the diamond to bloom.  BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THAT, WE HAVE A CONCERT TO FINISH! Yeah, Tori kinda just bailed in the middle of that. Tori and Keira both show up on stage, and preform together. Tori writes her speech and and talks about making changes to the kingdom's irrigation and social serves system to help the people harmed by the drought. Tori learns about responsibility and Keira kinda learns to relax...I guess? And the movie ends on a pop song. Y'know, a good book end.

Puffy Ami Yumi?...  So that was Barbie: Princess and the Popstar! Overall what do I think of it?  Well, to be honest, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't kinda checking the time while watching it. Heck, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't even a little bit tired of thinking about it while writing this review. The main problem is the basic premises. Princess and the pop star. The whole point of "The Prince and the Pauper." is that it's a rich person with a lot of responsibility and a poor person with no responsibility changing places. But here, it's a rich person with some responsibility swapping roles with....another rich person with some responsibility. There's no real contrast, and because of that we only get the bare basics of character development or an actual moral. The overall animation is...okay. You can see there's ambition, but the lack of budget really makes it look like a Sims 3 machinima. The main villain is fun, but the rest of the characters are pretty basic. And the pop songs, while being extremely catchy and well choreographed take up somewhere between a third and a half of the film. And I feel like if the film used more of that time on more important things than maybe it would of been better.  If you want a movie with some so bad it's good elements (some actual good elements worked in) you MIGHT enjoy this film. But you  have to have the patience to get through some of the more tedious bits. Also I feel like a REALLY little girl might like this. I know people say "Kids deserve good things too." and there not wrong. But it's important to remember that kids have different taste than we do. When I was a kid I loved the Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh! anime, so that should be evidence of that. But if you want a GOOD girl power type of show or movie....there's plenty better out there. Steven Universe, My Little Pony, Star vs, Hanizuki, the list goes on and on. Those shows are girly AND can be legitimately enjoyed by anybody, young or old. This really can't.  That was my review of Barbie: Princess and the Popstar. If you've seen the movie by some...odd chance...tell me what you think of it in the comments down bellow. I would love to start a conversation. Anyway, see you next time for hopefully something better. Have a great day. (I do not own any of the images or videos in this review all credit goes to there original owners.)

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/Barbie-Princess-and-the-Popstar-REVIEW-744926224 DA Link

[marika-kurohime]

Tales of Vesperia: “Yuri is The Morning Star “her” self as “she” should be” theory (11/26 complete)

First of all, sorry for BAD English here.

Previously I’ve tried to post this on youtube, but... here is the full version of it. 

 We all are confused at the moment by Tales of the Rays storyline and Vesperia’s postgame situation especially. 

It's crazy for NO JOKE. Let's do this. If you're fine to think of Vesperia as something simple with yaoi/yuri ships - for now you can STILL do so, but 

you have to see optional dungeons of this game: "Labyrinth of Memories" with Kratos Aurion in it and "the Necropolis of Nostalgia" (Patty got the key to start that VERY HARD and annoying dungeon (enter is in Zaude) which explains the whole "Сhildren of the Full Moon" thing and this world's past), open up all the skits and so on... It'll rise A LOT of questions, believe me.

This is where you can read this 

I'm NOT fine with yaoi/yuri ships and there seems to be the one and only RIGHT way to understand all this mess, but it's crazy. 

I don't want to write the theory before we have at least some facts, So, I'll only warn you for now that: 

1)Yuri is with Raven ALL THE TIME in ALL worlds: Link, Asteria (chapter 4), even Rays where we have Estelle with us... you will read something... strange... (yeah... "strange" is a good word for it) between Yuri and RAVEN all the time. 

2) It seems that Yuri and Rita have some sort of connection to Iria's and Luka's (Tales of Innocence) god-powers. 

To sum this up: or this game is just plain and stupid or it has a different gender system. Think about this:

Rita's dresser scene, and also, how Yuri lived his life before and after his attempt to join the knights (some skits hinted this... and we got THIS dirty card of him for New Year)

I can't say any more right now, we all want some facts regarding, well, his gender, current behavior and his postgame relationship with Raven and Estelle,

 BUT one thing for sure. HE IS NOTHING close to what you'll expect of him even if you ship him and Flynn together. 

Maybe, from now on (Tales of The Rays arc 3) this line will be shown for the first time, I don't know... thanks to PXZ2 I'm afraid to know...

There is more to this.  In his True Knight outfit,

 he has pointy ears for some reason. 

And to top it all: so-called fanservice in the Rays' special anime just killed me on the spot.

NO NORMAL explanation for THIS. He is not only nothing even close to a human (half-elves included) and can BE confused with a woman as with Leon (Tales of Destiny) and his sister (Leon is only 16 years old ), ALL NORMAL men see Yuri THIS way at his... well he is 21 at the beginning of the game and 22+ by the end. 

No facts. They've been MESSING with us for two years before DE's worldwide release. And It gets waaaay more serious from now on... 

JUST LOOK at...him(???) from the God Eater collaboration trailer... 

No, no, no, I don’t think that I’m seeing things... 

And so, to make a long story short: 360 version was incomplete (or "censored" by Namco themselves is a better way to say it) to the point when you can't get this story at all. 

Are you sure you want to know more?... for a joke, it went tooooo far somewhere after we left Heracles, 

but what I'm reading now... makes me split my tea and think of dropping it all for good because of Yuri and Yuri alone. 

Tales of Asteria made it even worse. In chapter 4 we have 3 lines about returning memories to a person, who the character holds dear: Jude-Milla, Collette-Lloyd, AND Raven-Yuri... 

guess which one was mature, tragic and romantic the most?

And he wasn't called Yuri in the title of his Chapter. It was something like: "The fate of the Morning Star". Just like in the at least two tracks from OST of the original game. This and that one too. And who the hell is this so-called Morning Star??? 

Well... 

So... basically, the main character here is RAVEN. 

And it's a story how he got himself our dear "hell of a goddess" 

for a... 

sorry... for a friggin substitute of his lost love

 (and Yuri resembles her greatly to make it worse).

Tales of the Rays arc 2 was HELL of a read for me because of Yuri alone... 

He is living with Raven, нe worried sick for Flynn's wellbeing, 

he constantly shakes off Estelle on Rita...

FOR a friggin YEAR! Main Vesperia's story explains NOTHING 

of what you really need to know.

 You need to 100% clear this game only to get some dirty hints and a mind blow trying to put all this mess together.

 If you know Japanese, then Drama CD's help as well.

Update: And yes, THIS was some anniversary to add the fuel to the fire. And as I feared, it is NOT only Asteria’s problem for sure. 

So, we love Tales of Vesperia only because people do not bother to find out, what “VESPERia” means.

 “Vesper” means Venus (or Astar/Astarte, Morning (male form - Anunit)/Evening Star) GODDESS OF LOVE and justice,  yeah, yeah...

... and prostitution,

homosexual relationships and war and a lot more). Goddess, damn it...  

Remember this statue at the Baction Shrine?...

Update: actually all this mess isn’t just about him being who he is, the main problem is THIS map

which is clearly our Mother Earth and not their Terca Lumieres AT ALL! Add to this what The Morning Star himself tried to say in Project X Zone 2:

 Sooo... does it mean, that he got his reputation in our Earthly mythos simply living out his life to the fullest on some sort of “vacation trip” and is remembered by two names

(as Shamash and his twin sister Ishtar)? Daaaamn, 

as if Judith’s novel wasn’t bad (I mean great) enough...

And now goes our final mythos based theory: Yuri isn't exactly a goddess, he is just a very high-ranked and powerful anunnaki. And he has THIS level of mental disorder separating Shamash

( light: True Knight in the heart, kindness (love), and justice) 

“ His friend wasn't a knight, he was part of a guild. His friend didn't believe in "justice" and "virtue" but rather "resolution" and "morality". ” About Yuri from Flynn’s biography in the Tales of the Rays. 

Although often cynical, he has a strong sense of justice and possesses an earnest desire to aid the weak and the powerless. (c) Crosspedia PXZ2 (2015)

and Ishtar... 

sorry, not this one. Ishtar (Anunit, The Morning Star)

(dark: a whore to the bone, love (means sex) & war) parts of his personality. That means that both of "them" aren't whole and... 

well, it’s better to stop here for now and see how bad our Dark Venus with a hero syndrome:

will be from the point when... 

when “She” gets (regains?) “Her” full self-awareness...

*PXZ  Project X Zone (sorry, spelled it wrong, but I’m too furious, you see, to check small details. I hate so much I even had to write all this about MY favorite MALE character I mistook “HER” for... to begin with. Hate the very thought people still didn’t know WHOSE Anniversary it is. If Namco wouldn’t give proper explanations, or they will be worse than what we can assume now... well, I did everything I could for HIM... before all the HELL this body really is for

breaks out. because It’s impossible to continue like this

and Yuri himself already understood that even Flynn saw him in a different light for all his life.

Update:

and with a new skill like that (by-the-books Lightbringer to me), it all will be confirmed/over in a few months at best.

Gods!

...this is not fun even for me anymore. I'm starting to pity "her" for real. DE isn't even a remake, you know... 

It's PS3's remake but PS3 and 360 are NOT one and the same. What did we do to deserve this ten years after? (5 for me) ...Oh, what a mess. 

It can only be compared with Estelle's new dress. 

Screaming "dawn"+"bride" 100% Aya (as a silly child in her dreams to make it the worst situation possible for her for Aya has no info about her in the mythos so you can imagine on whom she is based on personality-wise from now on). 

And the whole Namco's Universe is Unus Mundus based. This much is obvious from Anima&Animus + Ix's-zerom connection thing as they have shown it. 

So... Vesperia's story so far (all with "probably" before every statement):

1) Something horrible happened to right-handed "HER" before he is shown left-handed 7 years old boy. (Luke and Schwann are both left-handed, Damuron, Raven, and Asch aren't).

2) Something horrible happened to HIM after the movie resulting in a second kinda split of what should be The MORNING part 

into what I call Shamash and Anunit "twins". Damn. 

3) Something truly horrible happened to "them" atop of Zaude for he has a blastia and that "survival" of his now....looks really fishy. 

4) And a TOTAL SHIT happened in the end atop of Tarquaron. for "their"'s body is Istar's avatar kinda thing and we got that Brave Vesperia "star" smashed in pieces, so it is a spirit now... and you can imagine what we have in the Rays in addition to “them” (total four of them: Shamash for Estelle, Nergal for Judith, Ishtar for Flynn and Anat for Raven... 

or even more) and “their” problems... This gonna be a once in a lifetime experience if our dear author is bold enough to drag ISTAR (Sirius star WOLF GOD) here to play the Fenrir's part not just our poor Anunit (Nanaiya) "girl" based on goddess Sakuya.

 And what in the world was 360th Yuri then who earned 8.5. years of love, respect and admiration of the fans worldwide before Claw bitch in Asteria ruined EVERYTHING “he” сould for him?  Who suffers so much from the mistreating he gets from everyone at their Dorms? 

Hah... just a half of something really close to Luke's kind of existence 

...without his own body. 

 This whole Rays "story" is a ONE BIG MESS meant to explain THIS. 

AND this gonna hit really hard even those of us who are well prepared because Duke’s event and info from the near future were unexpected and crazy enough for me to get shocked despite all this lore digging. Then I did even more lore digging and dropped it all for good after chapter 9 of FR arc. 

I just want to see how people will react if all the shit you just finished reading here about our favorite world and character

 will be proven as even HALF-right in the near future as the story in the Rays progresses. 

This still looks too simple for me. The real deal SURE is worse. I’m 100% positive only concept-wise mostly because of how he will look in GEREO’S world, 

because he doesn’t look human at all and the symbols on his outfit are clearly Istar’s. I’m not bold enough to write how I think the real story will turn out...

, but our CONCEPT-based theory is enough for me to drop it all until it is over... and remember HIM 

as he was AND by Shamash’s name only.

P.S. translated Rays’ screenshots are from Lol’s Youtube channel

[tumblunni]

hey uhhh YKNO WHATS GOOD brainstorming potential headcanons for a character you know NOTHING ABOUT

i guess its less headcanons and more like.. wishes? hopes? what i think would be cool to do with this dude and like ALL I KNOW is that he is a cool dude and apparantly he doesnt have a backstory or sympatheticness SO consider what if he did and maybe thatd be cooler. like dude he owns THE SINGLE BEST BOSS BATTLE THEME IN ALL VIDEOGAMES EVER and that is ALL I KNOW ABOUT HIM and i just want him to deserve it, yo. also if he turned good i could be his friend and some of the badassness would rub off on me

ANYWAY

COOL SQUID PRESIDENT

i would vote for this man as squesident

seriously the design is SO GOOD!!! how did they manage to get such a cool colourscheme out of his entire Thing being that he has no colours?? like damn i like white being used as an evil colour for once, thanks. it symbolizing emptyness and emotionlessness is like BIG YES and i really hope thats what they were going for cos apparantly the wiki says that all the yokai who join his “we should never be friends with humans” gang turn colourless to match? but like the dude himself is less plain white and more very light shades of blue, grey and gold. MAYBE REFLECTS THAT HE IS A MANIPULATIVE DOUCHE WHO MAYBE DOESNT REALLY CARE ABOUT YOKAI AND JUST WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD PERHAPS dammit why does everything about him scream “great 100% evil guy who is very scary” when man I WANT TO LIKE HIM, DAMMIT!!

ALSO SERIOUSLY the visual effect of the wild spirally red yellow eyes against an otherwise “peaceful” colour whose entire point as an evil is “peaceful” taken to a bad extreme. it REALLY immediately sells that “tries to pretend to be calm, collected and fancy but is actually an angry mofo at heart” vibe i got from his theme song??? I REALLY HOPE THATS ACTUALLY HOW THIS COOL BOSS BATTLE GOES DOWN cos man the best villains are smug asshles who Always Win and then when you FINALLY win you get that much of a better ending!!! but AGH another part of me is like “i hope im wrong because he looks like a Cool Dad and i want him to be good”. Maybe his true design concept was to betray me personality with using all his cool dad power for evil...?

ALSO im not gonna spoil you guys on it cos it is JUST AS AMAZING AS HIS SONG but i was toooootally right that he has some sort of super intimidating second form and its got THE COOLEST DESIGN EVER HOLY SHIT! and also apprantly there’s a recoloured bonus boss called Minister Squisker who’s like a colour swap in a really creative way?? it swaps him being all “blank” themed with scary bright eyes and instead his entire body is a wild ye olde mythological illustration style paint job in every colour ever. okay COOL HEADCANON NUMBER ONE thats actually the regular colour of the species and mckraken is the white sheep of the family lol

also UHHH i dunno it seems kinda weird to me that theyd have this dude running a goddamn political party about humans being bad yet he doesnt seem to have any motivation whatsoever for it? unless it really is just supposed to be ‘he only pretends he wants to protect yokai from humans so he can manipulate and rule the yokai’. but like HYPOTHETICALLY in some universe where he actually lives up to his Grumpy Dad Who Has A Hidden Soft Spot potential, maybe he has an understandable backstory that raises legitimate concerns about how humans are destroying the natural and mythological and forgetting their roots, or other reasonable reasons why yokai could think humans are dangerous and all. i mean we ARE dangerous, we’re just a wide group of people that contain evil bastards and also good people, yknow. And thatd resonate well as a plot probably, cos well the whole point of the series is “in real life ur scared of yokai but theyre actually all goofy pranksters who will be your best friend forever”. Both sides being afraid of each other could lead to some good plotness! and it could be really effective and sad if after hours of joyous childhood wonder the protagonist bumps into the first yokai they couldnt befriend. the first one thats scared of them. the first member of this weird colourless political party who accuses them of committing crimes against yokaikind, of obviously only enslaving these yokai friends cos you have an ulterior motive, just like all humans! it could be effective if its something that shakes up the whole way you saw the world and establishes that hey its not all fun and happiness, and there’s some people you are powerless to convince. maybe even some people you are powerless to save...?

ANYWAY possible idea for ‘what if the dude originally had a sympathetic motive but it got twisted over time and now he’s just a fuck BUT maybe he could still be redeeminated someday ok thanks” What if he’s the spirit of.. like.. ocean pollution? Like there’s some yokai who are ghosts of a mortal person but theres some that are just nature spirits or personifications of concepts. What if he’s the personification of the dying screams of all the wildlife killed in a particular tragic oil spill? hence squid = thematic, and blank white colourscheme = even more thematic reflecting the stain the oil would leave on a pristine ocean and also the blank emotionlessness he was left as after witnessing that tragedy. Cos like his entire Purpose would have been born out of avenging anger but i mean he was just a kid, the only one left alive on a ruined beach and seeing just how powerful humans were and how pointless it would be to try and fight them with his weak power. like he was born to avenge all these souls and he just keeps failing!! his entire reason to live and he’s just too small!! so he ends up becoming bitter and cynical and learning how to use his silver tongue to manipulate others into becoming his weapons, and he vows that someday he’s gonna come back when he has the power he needs to complete his mission. and he’s just forever had this anger seething inside that he’s been unable to get any catharsis from, so when his cold and collected persona cracks he’s really damn scary with all these years of a man who’s grown old fearing he’ll never be able to avenge his ocean friends and just AAAAAA! itd be really good cos itd be a way he could still be intimidating and high stakes as a boss fight but also sympathetic!! also it could make sense why he’d only be redeemable after defeating him? like this entire time he’s been hidden behind a million layers of politics and minions and stuff and its very easy for him to not see the reality of the fact that he’s terrorizing human children just like how humans scarred him as a child. so like his whole big second form transformation super anger mode time would be sort of a last ditch attempt to deny what he already knows, the doubts that have been eating away at his soul now he’s getting close to the end of his life goal. but also like.. he doesnt even know who he IS, under the lies! its been his entire purpose for existing. like he probably uhh.. didnt have much plans after his victory. he probably wouldnt have much will to live left. so yeah you basically beat up this guy’s emotional walls and make him face the face of the people he’s been hurting, when he’s been trying to avoid it for so long. and he gets to see how much all the other yokai genuinely trust you and how much youre personally sacrificing to protect them so maybe you really arent just lying about being a good person...

oh also i was thinking about the inherant hypocrisy present in the fact that this guy is a big spoopy REALLY WELL DESIGNED squid monster that spends all his time in a depowered humansona instead, despite his whole Thing being hating humans. and, yknow, ‘i’ll solve this using a carbon copy of human politics instead of any more traditionally magical way of fighting the humans’. Yeah. So THEORY of SADNESS maybe he like never actually met any other yokai for a long time? I dont think it really makes sense that he’d be hypocritical because he secretly likes humans or something, that wouldnt jive with this backstory idea. So im thinking another explanation could be that he genunely doesnt know much about yokai culture? Like cos of his backstory he just poofed into existance on this destroyed beach in the human world and spent the first few centuries of his life completely alone except for the terrifying monsters that haunted every second of his life, and the knowledge that it was his purpose to defeat them but he didnt know how. And he was a nature spirit of the sea but his sea was empty of everything except death, so he couldnt even hug a cute fish sidekick or something- OH GOD WHAT IF HE DID HAVE A CUTE FISH SIDEKICK AND IT DIED COS OF HUMANS!!! very tiny sad squid monster child holding a dead pet, oh god why did my heart did this to meeee!! so yeah he didnt even know he was a yokai or wtf yokai are, he didnt know anywhere outside the tiny rock pool he would hide in on this barren beach. And then someday he gets found by an older yokai and adopted and like he feels like he owes them so much cos they gave him a reason to live, and a connection to the nature that he was supposed to protect, and.. well.. any companionship at all ever. So thats how his directionless “humans are bad” turned into “yokai are good and i need to protect them from humans like i failed to protect the beach” which turned into “i need to get more power to do this” which turned into manipulating other yokai and seeing them as nothing more than tools to take down the humans, his revenge consuming him until he barely remembered the reasons he originally wanted to do it...

and blablabla thats where we bring in the recolour bonus boss also, and say thats the nice grandpa figure who adopted him when he was all lost and trapped in the human world. and cos he was sorta adopted into nobility thats why he’s so over the top with his pompousness, its like a hint of IM LOVV MY GRANDEPA shining through his grumpface. ALSO maybe a sad situation where the gramps saw his kid growing up into this scary extremist and he tried to reason with him that humans dont need to be destroyed and that led to them fighting and him getting sealed off in recolour bonus boss land. and mckraken sees it as the biggest betrayal of his life and it totally threw him off the slippery slope to feel like the one man he trusted the most was a traitor to yokai all along. but even at his most evil he couldnt bear to actually kill his beloved gramps so he just imprisoned him and tries to stop thinking about it but like THE CONSTANT SPECTRE OF THE GUILT HANGS OVER YOUR HEAD THAT YOU DID YOU GRAMPS WRONGGGG So yehmaybe protag could find the gramps guy and hear about the sad backstory via him and then defeat mckraken and make him realise he was wrong and he apologises to his gramps and atones and all the humans and yokai are friends again and BUNNI CRIES FOREVER the end

cos seriously man this guy’s design is too good to be wasted on a hateable!! srsly he’s like that archetypical goofy big beard chubby pirate dude BUT INTIMIDATING AND BADASS AND COOL FASHION AND DAVY JONES SQUID BEARD SQUEARD I LOVE HIM he is too round to be 100% evil

*slams fists on the table* IF YOU DONT LIVE UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS I AM GONNA CRY

aaa i need to stop just sitting here theorizing about this game and actually friggin play it lolllll

[geminicblue]

20 Galaxies: Legend in the Sky Chapter 12

Colleen had never painted something that wasn't right in front of her, let alone a scene from her prophetic nightmares. The violence in those dreams would send Mother Kendrick into fits if she saw them on paper. Colleen left that part out for this painting, two simple portraits of the dream figures she'd seen. The gray man was decisively not human, that was made apparent in the shape of his body. With the swordsman, however, she could not pinpoint what made him seem so alien. His voice made her certain -- she shuddered as his raspy words cut across her mind for the hundredth time -- but she'd known he was not human before he'd spoken. Perhaps her thoughts had affected the dream and made him sound that way, but she'd never been able to change the dream before. In any case, she had little practice drawing people, and she wasn't sure if she would be able to portray either accurately.

She considered asking Misty about dreams. Misty sat on her own bed, cruising through her homework. A brilliant student, according to her teachers, but Misty apparently had a problem with authority. The first few days, she'd refused to eat anything and stirred the house mothers into a frenzy. Colleen saw her throw her lunch straight in the trash at school, or try to trade it for non-food items, specifically jewelry and makeup. Eventually Misty started eating so fast she finished dinner before Colleen. No wonder, she must have been very hungry.

Unlike Colleen, Misty did not leave the table after she was finished. In spite of how uneasy she made the other girls her first day, she grew to fit in well. Ronnie still avoided her, but the other girls were eager to hear her cynical take on everything from school to the universe in general. Colleen listened in from time to time, from a corner and face hidden behind the cover of a thick book. The others were even a little friendly, now that Misty had assured them Colleen was not some kind of living bad luck charm.

"Time is set," she told them. "It goes in a circle forever, the same things happen over and over. A clock is actually a really good way to show time -- not what time it is, but what time is. If whatever happens in Colleen's dreams happens in real life, she doesn't cause them, she just sees them. Get it?"

While Colleen got it, something about Misty's explanation nagged at her. She glanced up. Misty barely looked at the problems in the book before she wrote the answers. "How do you know that time is set?"

Misty returned a quick, somewhat bored glance. "We don't have free will."

Colleen frowned. She felt hesitant challenging what might be her only friend in the house. It was true the others weren't as cold to her as they used to be, but in no sense could she call them friends. "But how do you know?" she said softly.

Misty didn't even look up this time. "You just have to think about the way things are. Our choices are made by the way we were born or the way we are raised, right? Either by your genetics or by your environment. Whatever you're born with or taught determines how you'll react to every future situation. It's all one big chain reaction that makes up the whole of time." She caught Colleen's blank stare and set down her pencil. "Why do you always leave the dinner table early?"

Colleen was caught offguard by the question, but saw no reason not to answer with the truth. "To protect my things. The other girls stole things from me when they left the table before me."

"Why do you want to protect your things?"

"Because a lot of them came from my parents."

"Why does that mean anything to you?"

Colleen's voice caught and her lips trembled. Misty immediately unlatched her steel gaze. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. But the point is, there's always a reason, isn't there? Even if you don't know what it is." She went back to her homework. "I think the real question is, can we ever break free?"

The direction of conversation made Colleen nervous, and not just because the more religious of the house mothers might get worked up over it. Beyond Misty's cynicism there seemed to be something deeper, something more akin to anger and pain, and the simple changes in Misty's expression and voice made Colleen feel like she was getting closer and closer to the edge of a cliff. Thankfully, Misty changed the subject. "I want to know where more of the others come from. It'd be nice to know I'm not the only one being punished."

"Your parents are alive?" Colleen asked sadly. "So you'll go home for the summer like pretty much everyone else."

"Not if they have anything to say about it." Misty grunted. "It's not like I had much to leave behind though. You're the first friend I've had in a while."

Colleen was not sure she believed that, but she still felt her heart warm.

"You have friends on the outside, right?" Misty asked. "I see you hanging around with Prudence Hadley a lot."

Colleen nodded. "Don't call her Prudence, though, she hates it. She's been my best friend forever. Our parents were friends too."

"Your parents died?" Misty's voice softened.

Colleen's throat constricted again as a cloud of bad memories unearthed, but she made an effort to speak clearly. "No -- they're missing. So is Ru's dad. They disappeared the same night, and the last place anyone saw them was Tanager Park."

Misty looked on with suspicion. Rightfully so, as there was a lot Colleen was holding back. She didn't pry, though. "My parents think I'm a monster. Not in a cute way like some people call Ronnie. They actually think I'm possessed by a demon or something." She gave half a smile. "I guess it isn't all that shocking. They thought everything was demonic. Hey, can I see what you're working on?"

Colleen gingerly propped up the painting. There was a silence.

"What is this?"

"It's from a dream I had. What's wrong?"

Misty stared at the painting oddly. She almost looked alarmed. "They're kind of familiar," she said at last. "Maybe I saw them in a dream too. Wouldn't that be weird?"

"It really would."

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