#I get that heaven isn’t perfect- that’s why I’m going up there to fix it! it just needs a few new rules and regulations & it can be better

[cipher-fresh]

I’ve been trying to find a word that describes what emotion exactly was on Aziraphale’s face after Crowley pulled away from the kiss, because disgust wasn’t quite right and shock doesn’t describe 100% of it- and I think the term I’m looking for is Betrayal

[domreader-headcannon-scenarios]

I’m not sure if you’re into a/b/o but I think you’ve written stuff about heat in the past but if this ask is too much feel free to delete it.

I don’t know much about a/b/o myself but I’m pretty sure there’s this thing where if the omega isn’t in a good environment then their heat will like shut off or something? But imagine that with the angels of WHB. Like they’ve never had a heat before and then after Christmas and after you touch them for the first time their bodies get confused and think “oh is this a good time” and boom it’s their first heat and they need you to deal with it cause I mean it IS your fault.

Yes I love heats! Heat cycles are hot and cute!🖤🤍

Yeah so irl animals (including humans) will stop going into heat/ovulating, if they aren’t in a safe environment, they won’t have a heat/ovulate and it will continue until they are in a ‘safe’ environment!

So it makes sense since they’ve been at war for hundreds of years, they’ve never even experienced an orgasm, and given their forced to wear cock cages and their body wouldn’t understand why, their bodies assumed they simply have chosen not to ‘mate’ since the environment is unsafe. So once we open the flood gates, their unable to stop their heat cycle, they’ve never felt this kind of pleasure and frustration until they met you.

So once their heat starts, they think you can fix it since YOU started it, that’s only fair right?

-

Intro:

After Christmas the angels were returned to Heaven and exhausted, they just want to sleep. They clean themselves off thinking it’s best to just sleep and not think about it, as every time they think about it, they start getting hard and can’t ignore it…

They try their best and come morning, they are more h*rny then they’ve ever been in their entire life. Nothing is going on in their head except for wanting to find you and make you fix this!

They’d just need to isolate you…the thought of waiting sent a heavy ache between their legs.

They’d just have to go to hell and fetch you…

Gabriel

Cw cock cage, heats, slight kidnapping

-

He hated this…he could barely fly, needing to stop every few minutes to catch his breath. It’s infuriating…all the more reason he needs to find you, he can’t take this! He’s struggling to walk, fly and talk! The entire time his damn dick wouldn’t stay down.

It was so hard to avoid demons too, panting and flapping your wings like a flightless bird leaves him easy to spot, which means he needs to use back streets…which leaves it harder for him to spot you…

It took hours and it was agonizing…as soon as he heard your name, he felt his cock straining and it was horrible, he hurried to the demon he heard your name from…two demons were talking to you and his heart skipped a beat realizing this was the perfect opportunity…even as his mind is foggy and all he can think about it dropping to his knees and begging you for help…

He sees Satan, looking away talking to the little red devil and decides to follow through with his first thoughts…he snuck close to you, grabbed you fast pretending to be playing with you can’t see his face, he took into the sky as fast as he could, barely holding the two of you up. The screams you let out almost has him land to check if he somehow hurt you, but seeing Satan is now looking his way, he decides to keep carrying you, he can’t risk losing you when he’s this close to having you!

He’s holding you tightly and goes higher and higher until you can’t even see the demons below. He groans as you struggle against him. “P-put me down!” You scream, while you’re struggling against him, he whines and is forced to land on what honestly looks look a floating platform, leaving you with nowhere to go.

Gabriel collapses beside you, an arm wrapped around you as he smells you, pressing himself against you with a purr. “I-I’m sorry. Y-you started this, f-fix it and I’ll return you, u-unharmed!” He moans out, rubbing against you, his cock cage snagging on his clothes leading to him undressing in front of you. You’re surprised but you imagine whatever mental state he’s in, he’s past being embarrassed.

“W-what did I start?” You ask and in response he gestures to his straining cock, the cage appearing far too tight…looking like it’s crushing his manhood, it’s dripping so much you could easily make a cup of…well angel cum. “Oh, you…got aroused and came here? I suppose Hell is more accepting of a horny angel-“

Gabriel cries out. “N-no! W-well yes but, it’s hard! It ain’t go down! It feels likes…what you did on Christmas…please just, do that again?” Gabriel pleads, looking to you hopefully, you…recognize the look, you’ve seen it in Satan…you blush and smile.

“You’re in heat, y-you…you’ve never experienced it before?” You ask curiously, you guess maybe…you awoken something in him. “I’ll help…but you’re returning me right afterwards.” You demand, the angel quickly nods, guiding your hand to the cage.

Michael

Cw: cock cages, heats

-

Michael was half limping through Hell…his wings were out, trembling, he didn’t bother hiding them, any demon would recognize him why bother hiding?

He attempts to avoid being seen but doesn’t avoid a few fights trying to find you, thigh it did work in his favor when the commotion brought you, along side Mammon to him. His eyes lock on you in a instant. He abandons the fight and launches himself towards you, even in his clumsy state he avoids getting hit aside by Mammon.

By letting himself slam into you, his two other sets of wings appear a moment later and you are both airborne while he tries to adjust you in his grip like your a squirming dog. He tries to shush you, trying to figure out where he’s going to take you for this…

He ends up deciding…you’re coming with him to Heaven, he lands on a quiet area, that seems more like a side street. He collapses as soon as there’s solid ground beneath you both, he’s considerate enough to land next to you with only an arm around you so he doesn’t crush you.

He grabs you as you try to get up. “N-now…you can help me in peace.” He groans out, letting go of you to unzip his pants, letting his caged cock slip into your vision. You pause, it’s…dripping a lot…almost like he’s setting himself in front of you.

“W-wow…” You murmur, enjoying the sight, though you’ve heard enough from the demons to know clear signs of heat. “So…you’re cage…is in the way. I think taking it off will help but…” You trail off. You only got Rapheal’s off because if a Christmas miracle…

Raphael

Cw: heats, spitting on a d!ck

-

He basically crash lands into Hell, he surprising shows up in the same district as you, though it’s likely because he’d had plenty of time to scent you during the kiss you two shared on Christmas. Raphael feels his body heat up at that memory.

‘I want more of that!’ He hissed to himself, he let any devils see him, he knew the more devils that see him, the odds a king would show would get higher, and with the kings there’s a chance you follow!

Not was flawed logic but he only had your phone number, not an address to look for you and he’s certain a call asking to meet up alone isn’t a good idea!

Or maybe it is but that’s awkward…

Raphael was still trying to figure up how to tell you to help him, he was so hard, it’s basically painful! Yet…it’s kinda of good, as much as he hated the constant arousal, in his own masochist way, he wanted more, but he wanted you before he was overwhelmed.

Raphael hears your voice distinctly over the screams of civilians panicking over an angel walking through the streets, he takes odd into the sky and quickly surveys the surrounding area.

He spots you fast, hiding behind one of the kings subjects, Raphael didn’t bother looking at who it could be, or even which king was after him. The King was between him, the subordinate and you. He just needed to…

Raphael snorted in frustration at the predicament and knowing the king can’t fly, he jolts out of the way, wings beating way harder than they should in his arousal driven state. Once he ‘passes’ the king he suddenly dives and swoops past the demon guarding you, when he grabs you and begins taking into the air, he can hear you panting.

He feels a little bad realizing he knocked the wind out of you from the speed he was going. He will make it up to you later, maybe, but for now he just needs you away from the pesky demons!

By the time he actually lands, you have no idea where you are, it’s like a cove by a forest edge, secluded, silent, no way to get here without flying, so you were trapped with him.

Raphael let’s go of you once he’s on solid ground, letting you stumble away from him while he slowly approaches you like you’re a scared dog. “Calm down, Descendant of Adam. If I had wanted to hurt you I would have dropped you or done worse. J-just deal with…this,” He gestures to the tent in his pants. “And we will be done, alright?”

He says with a blush trying to hide his embarrassment while hoping you will agree. You look between him, the surrounding are and his erection. His clothes aren’t helping him, showing off his body and how excited his is, though you doubt he’s practiced controlling when he gets hard, you doubt he even knows he can do that.

“And if I refuse?” You say, grinning as the angel looked shocked, almost like he didn’t consider you’d say no. “What will you do? You think I’m just gonna jerk you off everytime you get hard?” You sneer. “Do it yourself.”

Raphael’s eyes widen.

“W-wait, that pleasure you gave me…I can experience on my own??” Raphael looked so confused. He quickly undressed and threw his clothes aside. “Show me! Now!”

You laughed and blushed, much to the angels confusion, while he was flustered, naked and rock hard, you were fully clothed, blushing a bit and beyond confused. “Geez…what’s gotten into you silly?”

You playfully teased and looking up at Raphael, it hit you.

He was giving you bedroom eyes, his cock is dripping even though it’s untouched, it looks to be pulsing to the beat of his heart, giving you an idea of how aroused he was.

“Oh, you’re in heat! If…you promise to do what as I say and not hurt me, I’ll help, deal?” Raphael nodded to your rules fast. “Alright. Stay still.” You get up and walk over, waning over, you spit on his cock, earning a whorish moan. His cock bounced upwards like it was begging for more.

You grab his cock with your non dominant hand and lazily stroke his cock, he’s instantly whining, bucking his hips and moaning. He is jumping your hand quite roughly, with a mischievous grin, your free hand reaches down and light squeezes his balls and holds them there so he can’t thrust.

Raphael loudly whines, squirming as you slowly stroke his cock. “See what I’m doing? If you gently rub it like this, it’ll help your aching fade.” You say, grinning as the angel trembled in bless and overstimulation. Poor guy’s cock is sk sensitive!

[planet-crait]

Episode 4 has the into again. I’m in heaven. I know I mention the theme song a lot but idk just great the instrumental and singing style. I know it’s probably not technically techno swing but it reminds me of that style and I love that style of music lolz.

Hazel and her dad are so cute goofing off together I love it. It sucks her mom is focused on work and not having fun with her husband and daughter, but again I think it’s part of why Hazel got her fairies having a mom that’s not really present. It’s not as bad as Timmy for sure but it’s still rough on a kid to not have one of their parents be there for them as they should be.

Anyways, Hazel spewing out facts during the tour is so cute, she’s so exited to talk about things she knows about. Lolz the tour guide having a beef with a literal child is just ridiculous and hilarious. Rewatching it’s funny Hazel doesn’t know about the ice cream parade, everyone is talking about it.

Of course Hazel would wish for a dinosaur just it’s so perfect for her lolz. I do love how the pig we saw replaced the Dino in the museum since it wasn’t eaten and instead killed by the meteor.

Also everyone panicking about Barry is funny and makes sense. Oh no Cosmo and Wanda uh oh no Barry knows he’ll die uhh this is going to be messy isn’t it lolz. Do they not care about maintaining the timeline or whatever guys come on lolz. How is a Dino getting a job going to go?

Not well apparently. I do like how Wanda is his agent Wanda is someone who won’t take any nonsense so it works well. Can he not roar because he can speak English now? That would make weird magical sense lolz. WOW uh that’s a rough director lolz. Course I don’t get why he decides he hates the museum job because they have things wrong like wouldn’t that make you want to help teach people about the real history? He sure gives up quick on every job but short run time so I get it.

Lolz I wish we had an ice cream parade lolz that sounds good right about now. I have so many questions though like yes he took down a large chunk of powerline but would it really take out the entire city? And even if it did we clearly see the ice cream trucks and they have their own power to keep their ice cream cool so it would be safe in the trucks?? Why does one assistant have to eat all the ice cream? And did we just…kill someone? Via melted ice cream car crash? Uhh….okay.

Uhh wait wait wait how does the mayor know this was Hazels doing? Wanda was more in conversations about Barry then Hazel so I’m kind of lost on how he knew to blame her besides for the laughs which uh isn’t strictly necessary it just feels their to make Hazel feel even worse then she does.

This Dino electricity scene raises more questions, why didn’t he just pick up the power lines to start? Why wait until now? How long does the stone power last? What happens when the rest of the world learns about Dino electricity?

Umm does the mayor have like security cameras watching everyone at all times? No one was their to see Barry start up the power again. Also if the ice cream melted as quick as the episode said it did, doesn’t make sense but whatever, the power going back on wouldn’t fix that all of the ice cream would be gone so the ice cream electrical parade would still be ruined. Clearly the writers haven’t had to save stuff in freezers when the electricity went out.

So…. Barry’s staying in the present? Thats uh. A choice. Won’t this raise like a thousand questions? Or send people like Crocker into a frenzy thinking magic did this? I don’t get how the shows going to justify this short of pretending it didn’t happen later on and if so why bother with all this?

Episode 4 was weaker than episodes 2 and 3 currently for me. The writing goes all over the place and it’s just kind of a weird one for me. But hey Barry was in the intro so I guess I should have seen some episode like this coming lolz. I think all that’s left in the intro is French fries, a ghost and fish boy. We’ll see which comes up next. Onto episode 5!

[thestalwartheart]

Ahhhh. 21 or 27 for the domestic prompt! Thank you! :)

Hi @theexistencegame! Both of these prompts were wonderful, but I went with 27: fixing their hair/clothes just before they rush out the door.

You can read it below or on AO3.

Enjoy! 💖

tie.

Q looks at himself in the mirror and sighs. It doesn’t matter that he’s verging on running late; he can’t go out looking like this.

Has his hair always…and were those bags under his eyes new, or…and oh, Christ, why on earth had he gone with a red tie? It’s a bit much, surely. Too eccentric for the evening planned. Or is it? Perhaps it might—no. Definitely too eccentric.

With a flick of his wrist and a tut at his watch, where the minute hand of time is flying by far too fast, Q tugs his tie off and frantically searches his already unkempt drawers for an alternative. He’s got an aubergine one somewhere that will pair nicely with his navy suit. It’s a basketweave tie, so not quite as formal as the sleek silk of his red one, but it’s a better colour. Red. For dinner. Honestly, what had he been thinking?

He retrieves the new tie and its accompanying pocket square, nearly shutting his fingers in the drawer in haste to move things along. Those same fingers tremble as he fumbles his way through a four-in-hand knot. He’s got neither the time nor the patience for a Windsor this evening, having spent too much time choosing his shirt and fixing his hair. The latter is utterly unsalvageable. He can only hope it looks deliberate. A ‘bedhead’ look, as Eve might say. He’s tempted to send her a selfie to check, but that would be utter madness.

For heaven’s sake, he thinks. Stop this. You’re going ‘round the bend. It’s not like you’ve never met the man.

But he hasn’t, really. Met him, that is. Not this side of him, the side that sits down for dinner rather than picking at it in Q Branch over paperwork or a mission. Not the Saturday night side that picks Q up at the front door of his house. Not the suave, indulgent side that he usually keeps out of Q’s office; the side that promises pleasure before, during and after dinner.

Q has seen it before, of course, but it’s never been directed at him. He hadn’t even known it could be directed at a man at all, not until Tuesday’s proposition which was as careful and bafflingly self-conscious as it was charming in all the usual ways. It was so irresistible that Q had felt compelled to say yes if only to get to know another facet of the man he wanted to know above all others.

Q fixes his pocket square and takes another good look in the mirror. The overall picture seems much better now, and he hums in satisfaction. Still, it’s not all perfect. There’s simply nothing to be done about the bags under his eyes. Even if he owned concealer, which he doesn’t, he’d probably end up with it all over the place like this, and—

The doorbell rings. Q straightens his tie knot for a final time and brushes at his suit like he still owns cats with hair, then marches to meet his fate.

Bond looks exceptional in his steel grey suit. It’s no surprise that he’d dress himself to the nines for a dinner date, and yet it is still vastly overwhelming to take in. Q is no stranger to good-looking men, but this is…

Well. He’s a very lucky man, isn’t he? Even if his luck might only last an evening.

“James.” The first name slips out more easily than Q thought it might.

“Q.”

“Come in, I’m just—” just nothing, actually. He doesn’t know what the hell he’s on about. “I’ll just be a moment.”

Bond smiles as he enters and clicks the door shut behind him. He looks Q up and down appreciatively before a lopsided smile forms.

“Lovely socks.”

Q looks down, mortified, to see he’s still wearing the pair he’s been wearing all day. They’re all black, save for the pink, yellow-eyed cat face that peeks out from the toes.

“Oh, shit. I’ll—”

His oncoming ramble is silenced by Bond’s warm hand tilting Q’s chin up. They’re of a height, and Q has never been more thankful for that than now. It puts him back on even footing, even as the up-close view of Bond’s eyes threatens to undo him all over again.

“Relax,” murmurs Bond. His hand moves to cup Q’s cheek. “You look incredible. Perfect.”

“Right.” Q is momentarily stunned into speechlessness. He’s never been any good at taking a compliment, least of all one as expertly delivered as that. “As do you. You look…” He lets out a long breath, still unsure that this isn’t a hallucination. “I suppose I don’t need to tell you how you look.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“Very sharp,” rasps Q. Bond huffs an amused little laugh in response.

They seem to stand like that for an age, not that it matters. Q forgets about his watch entirely, happily ignoring the idea of dinner plans for the new thought that he might drag Bond upstairs immediately and strip him of that fine suit. It would mean hours longer in bed tonight. They could go fast, then slow. Then, perhaps, fast again if they can both summon enough zeal to work against their bodies’ limits. At the sight of the man in front of him, Q thinks he might easily go all night.

“Shall we?” Bond asks.

He has a strange look in his eye. Feeling slightly contrite, Q comes back down to earth and reminds himself of the stakes here, and of that cautiousness with which Bond has approached this whole evening. Q likes to think he knows his agents. He certainly knows Bond well enough to know if all he wanted was sex, Q would be sprawled out naked on his own bed already.

Besides, does he really want to miss the opportunity to watch Bond eat and drink in pleasure over candlelight? To tease him? To talk at length in all the small and deep ways one does on a date? To feel the weight of Bond’s eyes fixed solely on Q in a room full of beautiful people?

No, Q doesn’t want to miss any of it.

He smiles and takes Bond’s hand in his own. “Yes, let’s.”

[copper-compact-disc]

OK SO I’m sure someone has talked about this already but the coffee theory?? It doesn’t work!!!! Here’s why. I’m sorry to break your hearts I have reasoning I promise.

Aziraphale’s number one core value at the VERY HEART of his being is to do good. He wants to help the world. He loves the world. He lets off a kind nearby shop owner of rent because he knows how much it means to her. He refuses to harm Job’s children because he knows it’s wrong. He’s trying to morally justify how on earth he can stand complicit in grave robbing by determining whether or not there are net good outcomes for the world. The number one thing Aziraphale wants to do is to do good and betrays heaven to do it, but stays loyal to them for years because they’re the “good guys.”

When he gets the offer from the Metatron, he hears that he can fix a broken system. He’s told he was chosen because of his empathy and human closeness. If Aziraphale was in power, he could have a say in what heaven does and could prevent future instances like Job and Armageddon. (Whether he actually can interfere with “the divine plan” and keep his power remains to be seen in season three and beyond.) Aziraphale isn’t trying to abandon Crowley and go back to toxic heaven, he’s trying to make it so heaven is no longer toxic.

Aziraphale returning to heaven makes perfect sense!!! He wants to help the world. This is how he can do it, and not just from earth, but with heavenly influence! And he wants Crowley by his side while he does it.

And though I’m not an expert on manipulative angelic drugs and how they affect people into making existence altering decisions, and this is much more based on my own opinions than evidence from the show, I can say that Aziraphale definitely seemed himself in the final scene with Crowley. He was thoughtful and tearful and well spoken, not dazed or seeming like his perception was altered.

Aziraphale’s decision was made of his own accord. Will it end up being the wrong decision? Probably!! Because like it or not Aziraphale probably won’t be able to fix heaven in the way he hopes. But Aziraphale questions authority in a way heaven doesn’t like and tries so hard to put good and love and joy and kindness into the world. And this is how he thinks he can do it.

All that said. I’m not Neil Gaiman or one of the writers I just had Thoughts and I needed to express them in a ranty post or else I was going to burst, so I could very well be proven wrong! And that’s ok! But this is my interpretation based on the series as it stands right now and i think people are trying to write off a decision they view as bad (because let’s face it it seriously is) because they, if put in the same situation, would make a different one. But this is the choice Aziraphale made and he’s going to learn from its consequences, good or bad, about how to move forward in his ongoing quest for good.

[tirisghost]

I don’t think I’ve ever really posted my writing on here, or at least not in a while. But I thought I might as well post this because why not?

It doesn’t really have a name or anything yet, it was written in maybe an hour tops because inspiration struck when I was thinking about some stuff in my own life lol.

Tw// abuse/implied abuse

=====================================

Yes, it fucking hurt when I fell from heaven; what did you expect? It’s a really long drop. This place isn’t really that far from hell, and it’s sinking.

I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional family. Just like with humans, angels can have plenty of issues. We aren’t the perfect beings you might think. There’s a lot of really, really bad angels. And I’m probably one of them, at least some of the time. I deserved what happened.

Before I fell, one of my favorite things to do was fly. It was freedom. It was something I could find no other way, with how trapped I felt at home.

I was alone. My home was unsafe and the people didn’t really care about me. I’m sure that was for a reason. I’m sure had I flown away less and done what they wanted more, and better- maybe it would have been okay. I wouldn’t have been so alone.

But flying helped. Sure, it would have been nicer to just have a nice family. Sure, it would have been better to just become a better person. But… I don’t really know. It was nice while I could.

When I was down, I would fly. The wind and the light, so close to the beginning of everything and the furthest I could get from hell far below, where I could almost touch the top of the universe far above it all… it was perfect. It was a refuge.

The one place I could let go of my fears, and the one place I couldn’t go often, because of- things in my family that I won’t go into. I don’t want to add to the pain you must already go through, here on this planet so far from the perfection many strive for.

One day, I couldn’t go anymore at all. My family found out what I had been doing. They discovered how I had been escaping. I was theirs to do with as they wished, I was their offspring. So I did, for a while. They watched me closely, making sure I didn’t leave.

One day I saw a chance again. One day I tried it.

That was the day I lost my wings. Had them ripped from me. They had said I couldn’t. They had already warned me of the consequences. But I didn’t listen. I needed that escape, that moment outside of the pain, too badly.

So I flew. I didn’t even make it out of our home. I didn’t even make it to the door. I didn’t even manage to go even a little way into the sky which I loved so much.

They told me no. I did it anyways. I faced the consequences. I always faced the consequences. Sometimes, for nothing. But they had never hit me where it hurt so much before. They ripped away the part of me that let me be myself.

I couldn’t escape. Now I would have no chance. No choice.

That day, the despair became too much. So I fell. On purpose. I’m here, now. It hurt. To fall. It hurt to see how little they really cared. But now, even so much closer to hell, I have something I didn’t there.

Yes, I miss flying. I miss it like a fish would miss swimming. I miss it like a spider would miss weaving it’s beautiful, delicate web. I miss it like a flower would miss its bright colors. Flight was part of my purpose. A portion of who I am. So yes, I miss it.

But here I have… friends. People who don’t treat me how my family did. How I probably deserved. How I still treat myself. But they care about me.

I don’t know if any of them know I was an angel. I don’t know if any of them have seen the scars on my back, still fresh and painful as if it was yesterday. But they care. Even without the full me. Even with how broken I am. Even though I’ll never fly again. Even though I cannot be fixed. Even though I’m not deserving of any of it. They still are.

I may be so much closer to hell… but it’s almost like I’ve found heaven.

Maybe falling isn’t what hurt so much as giving up on ever receiving love. Maybe flying isn’t what felt good, so much as finding that love for myself. Maybe flying never felt as good as this does. Maybe, finally, I can be happy sometimes. Even if I don’t deserve it.

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Nancy & Teddy & Gia Pt.2

Gia: And let me guess, you haven’t slept with her yet?

Teddy: It’s irrelevant

Gia: No, it’s entirely irrelevant and I’ve hit the nail on the head

Teddy: You don’t know the first thing about this

Gia: Oh, please

Gia: all boys your age are the same

Teddy: I’m surprised you can remember

Gia: Gosh, thanks

Gia: I’m actually thrilled my teenage years are well behind me though

Teddy: I’m not, you used to be somewhat bearable

Gia: If only I could extend the compliment to you, Teds

Teddy: I should insist upon being called Theodore if you’re going to be this rude & boring at the same time

Gia: Now my family has left, you’re free to kick and scream about whatever demands you want

Gia: Heaven knows why dad puts up with it, or how

Teddy: What else is he going to do, take off his [a boujee brand of belt that this dad would wear]? 

Gia: I don’t know, insist you move into accommodation and get a job to cover your bills like everyone else?

Teddy: Ha ha

Gia: Seriously, if you’re that upset, why don’t you talk to mum, seeing as you two love your cosy chats

Teddy: I already know what she would say

Gia: Is she sober for this opinion or

Teddy: Sober or smashed the opinion is no-one is good enough for me & I don’t want to hear it right now

Gia: Hmm, fair point

Gia: Coddling is the last thing you need

Teddy: Nonsense is the last thing I need, she’s perfect for me

Gia: Is she on your course?

Teddy: Don’t be absurd, you’re well aware my course is tedious

Gia: Okay, so you met her in the SU?

Teddy: No, why are you OBSESSED with this being a uni meet cute?

Gia: You’ve just started… where else are you meeting some random girl?

Teddy: Everyone besides you has a life outside the classroom while they’re there

Gia: You go to the same clubs and the same parties, only Uni has changed your social scene

Teddy: It doesn’t matter where or when or how I met her

Teddy: What disorder do you have, seriously?

Gia: Excuse me for taking an interest in your melodrama

Teddy: It’s over, there’s no reason to trouble yourself

Gia: So you had to ruin lunch over nothing, cool

Teddy: Lunch had to be ruined regardless

Gia: Why, and what is wrong with YOU, more to the point

Teddy: How long do you have before you have to take your husband to the bathroom or put him down for his nap?

Gia: You’re seriously unfunny, like anti-funny

Teddy: I’m hilarious, it’s your life choices that aren’t funny

Gia: I fell in love and you’ll have to get over that eventually

Teddy: No you didn’t, be honest with yourself

Gia: It’s so cruel of you to doubt me

Gia: I wouldn’t be married and planning a family if I wasn’t, would I

Teddy: With this family’s track record, it’s a given you would

Gia: They’re in love, and they were

Gia: Whatever inappropriate things mum has told you whilst sloshed is over-emotional exaggeration

Teddy: You should try having some emotions

Gia: I have the normal amount of emotions, thanks

Teddy: An overwhelming amount of pity, for yourself & that old man, is normal, yes, but there are others available

Gia: You’re the one feeling sorry for yourself

Teddy: Yeah because I’ve lost something really important

Gia: Important how?

Teddy: I’ve never felt like this before, I didn’t know I could

Gia: Oh, then that’s tough

Gia: What happened?

Teddy: I don’t want to talk about it, everything has gone wrong

Gia: If you did something wrong, you should fix it

Teddy: I love how you assume it’s my fault

Gia: If it wasn’t, you’d want to complain about it

Teddy: She doesn’t think she’s good enough for me

Gia: Oh, Lord

Teddy: & naturally she didn’t appreciate when I called out her insanity

Gia: It sounds like she has terrible self-esteem, you’re probably better off out of it

Teddy: I just want her to trust me, I’m right, she’s wrong

Gia: That’s not really how that works is it

Teddy: It should, she’s fantastic when she’s not losing it & we could be such an incredible couple

Gia: Have you told her all that?

Teddy: Yeah, but she isn’t convinced, like you, she thinks I only care about sleeping with her & then I’ll leave

Gia: Your reputation must proceed you, then

Teddy: It isn’t my fault, I’m trying extremely hard to be everything she wants

Gia: Some girls are just messed up, you don’t know what she’s been through before, that isn’t your fault and you can’t fix

Teddy: She’s been through a lot, I know that

Gia: There you go, then she’s going to be a lot, sadly

Teddy: Is that how he describes you?

Gia: No

Gia: I haven’t been through a lot

Teddy: Are you sure? It feels like you’re bringing a lot of projection to this instead of focusing on the girl I love

Gia: Wow, love, is it

Teddy: You’re being immediately patronising 

Gia: I’m not, it’s just very unexpected

Gia: and you’re telling me nothing, I can only focus on the little you’re saying

Teddy: Unexpected for you? How do you think I felt when it happened?

Gia: I’m familiar with the feeling

Teddy: She doesn’t want me, she’s too afraid

Gia: You have to prove you’re not scary then

Teddy: I haven’t been, I can’t help it she’s intimidated by the fact I’m the full package

Gia: I doubt that’s what she’s afraid of…

Teddy: & I can’t prove I’m not going anywhere when she’s the one who’s running away from me

Gia: Girls are usually scared for their reputation, how they’ll look

Teddy: You’re mentioning that to have another dig at my reputation

Gia: Well, if she thinks you’re going to treat her however she’s heard, or that she’s the next story

Gia: I’m not surprised 

Teddy: You want to take your turn being cruel, but you’re not very good at it

Gia: I’m trying to point you in the right direction

Teddy: Towards steering clear of her, you aren’t subtle either

Gia: Towards not being such a prick, if you want to start having serious, adult relationships 

Teddy: You’re my sister, our relationship couldn’t be less serious or more childish, it isn’t the benchmark you should be using to try & measure any of my others

Gia: I know what you’re like in general

Teddy: Liar, you barely know who I am

Gia: Sure, I’ll stop trying to help you as it’s clearly not your fault, at all

Teddy: How many times? It isn’t 

Teddy: I went above & beyond

Gia: It isn’t me you need to convince

Teddy: I can’t convince her, I told you

Gia: Then… get over it?

Gia: You can’t take it out on all of us

Teddy: You’re awful at this

Gia: What do you want me to say? I give you advice, you don’t want it

Teddy: Get over it isn’t advice, if I wanted tough love I’d go to my father

Gia: Did you even listen to anything I said before then?

Teddy: No, you aren’t helpful or comforting

Gia: You said you didn’t want to talk to mum right now

Teddy: You’ve got jokes again, neither is she, though it’s true she doesn’t make digs at me constantly like you have

Gia: I’m not going to baby you

Gia: It’s not proper heartbreak

Teddy: How would you know?

Gia: Because you haven’t even gone out with this girl

Teddy: When S dies it still won’t make you the heartbreak expert because everyone knows you won’t actually care

Gia: How dare you

Teddy: As I said before, you are clueless about my life, Gia

Gia: Yes and I’m remembering why I have no desire for it to be any different

Teddy: Please don’t feel the need to attempt change on my behalf, everyone also knows you only have the capacity to pretend you’re invested in one family at a time & his takes precedent while he holds the account details

Gia: Whoever this girl is, she’s made a lucky escape

Gia: Goodbye

Teddy: More projection? We can come up with a hand signal which isn’t a 👋 & free you, the parents will take you back, it’ll be okay

Gia: Grow up, seriously, everyone is tired of your shit

Teddy: I’m tired of yours, commit fully like J, it’s embarrassing he’s got more of a backbone than you

Gia: If you want to whine about your feelings, you’d be better off talking to him, actually

Teddy: Okay, now that comparison landed, finally, you’re getting somewhere 

Gia: I’m not interested in any of this

Teddy: But I so miss the old you 💔

Gia: I have literally no idea what you’re talking about

Teddy: Well, it’s what happens when you’re brainwashed

Gia: By who, and for what?

Gia: If I’m just after his money, it would be a really poor decision from Seb, and that isn’t how he got rich

Teddy: I wasn’t giving him the credit

Teddy: JI started it, father dearest can be relied on for so few other things in this life

Gia: Just handing you a career and thus a living you absolutely will do nothing to deserve, you ungrateful brat

Teddy: Exactly, I can’t wait to squander it, there’ll be almost no greater joy

Gia: Enjoy living in poverty, idiot

Teddy: I can always marry an old man, follow in your footsteps

Gia: Don’t be stupid

Teddy: My point entirely, you have no idea I would

Gia: If you want to use Sunday lunch as an opportunity to come out, just try it

Gia: I’m sure mum will support you

Teddy: Maybe if it’ll guarantee you & your husband’s empty seats

Gia: That remains to be seen, no thanks to you

Teddy: There’s a saying about not being able to handle you at your worst & therefore not deserving your best, you should look it up

Gia: If you have a good side, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it

Teddy: & I don’t doubt the man you married has yet to see one real side of you, but it’s none of my business apparently

Gia: Seb knows me better than anyone, that’s how it is meant to be

Teddy: Yeah, it is meant to be that way, I’m sorry for you it’s not, how terribly sad

Gia: You’re the sad one, go back to getting laid by other mindless idiots so I can talk to my parents in peace

Teddy: No, I’m a reformed character, you’ll have to carry on trying to talk over me

Gia: The adults just ignore you anyway

Teddy: They can’t ignore the elephant in the room, it isn’t the done thing even when he is only an in-law 

Gia: You have no idea how the real world works

Teddy: & you do? 

Teddy: you haven’t fully committed to what a turn on you find poverty, a part time marriage still counts as you staying rich

Gia: I don’t, that’s why I work hard and always have, another thing you have no idea about

Gia: You’re committed to being a waste of space, do it in your own life, I don’t have it in mine

Teddy: The Saint Gia thing is super tired

Gia: I don’t care, Teddy, I literally do not care

Teddy: Are you going to cry now? 🥺 Very grown up

Gia: That’s the opposite of what I just said

Gia: Go away

Teddy: I don’t want to

Gia: Tough

Teddy: You’re absolutely no fun

Gia: I’m not a children’s entertainer

Teddy: But you’ve got the 🐘 already, come on 🎪🤡

Gia: Sort out your own life so you get out of mine, you nuisance 

Teddy: Aside from this romantic blip, the life I lead is charmed

Gia: And we’re all meant to ignore you’re living in denial

Teddy: Address your own denial first

Gia: My life is on the right track, yours isn’t even on the rails

Teddy: Being off the rails is fantastic, I just want you to be happy, G

Gia: I am happy, you need to believe me

Teddy: Say it like you aren’t holding up the Sunday papers with it

Gia: We aren’t all over-emotional like you and mum

Teddy: You mean you & father aren’t 🙄 

Teddy: don’t be trying to embody him, it’s fucked up

Gia: I mean it’s very strange how in-depth you try to force these chats, I am happy, don’t be ridiculous

Teddy: You’re my sister, am I not allowed to care about you?

Gia: We don’t need to do this, on a Sunday afternoon, no, it’s too much

Teddy: You’re too sober

Gia: It’s a Sunday afternoon, I repeat

Teddy: Precisely 🥳

Gia: Some of us have to do more with our Monday than ponce about in some dossy lecture

Teddy: Which is why hair of the dog exists, for people like you

Gia: I’m fine, thank you, I’m not drowning my sorrows

Teddy: I don’t want to think about what she’s doing, that’s all

Gia: I’m sure she didn’t imagine you were having a family dinner so, it’ll probably be mutual

Teddy: What do I say, what do I do?

Gia: I don’t know the girl

Gia: Wait until you’re suitably unsober and tell her what you’ve told me, easing off on the none of it being your fault bit

Teddy: I could lie & tell her it’s all my fault

Gia: You could but that could sound like what it is, a lie

Gia: she might not appreciate that

Teddy: She would see through it, it would be typical her

Gia: Just, try to be honest, if you think something will cause an argument, maybe avoid that part

Teddy: BUT my talent is for causing arguments

Gia: Do you think she wants to have an argument?

Teddy: No

Gia: then try to refrain

Teddy: She’ll want a romantic gesture, she adores those

Gia: Oh good, is she overly emotional too…

Teddy: Nobody wants to date a robot, fuck perhaps

Gia: Yeah, okay, thank you

Teddy: She has the same amount of emotions I have, we have a lot more than that in common, but since you asked

Gia: Then I’m sure you’ll make up

Teddy: We have to, I can’t do this

Gia: You actually like her

Teddy: She’s special, I liked her immediately

Gia: Well, good luck, actually

Teddy: Good luck with your drain of a Monday, you’ll need it

Gia: Don’t concern yourself with my Mondays

Teddy: It’s fine, I won’t remember this convo by then

Gia: Sure 

Teddy: Thanks for still being here

Gia: You’re being that concerning, obviously

Teddy: Love is difficult, that’s seriously not my fault

Gia: It can be

Teddy: I wish I was better at it

Gia: Is it your first time?

Teddy: Phrasing it in that way was utterly unacceptable, but yeah

Gia: Ugh, don’t be gross

Gia: because all I was saying is you can go easy on yourself

Teddy: No, I’ll lose her & I wouldn’t be able to bear it

Gia: It always feels like that

Teddy: She’s gone, it’s more than a feeling, it’s a fact

Gia: Bearing it, but everyone always does

Teddy: Everyone doesn’t love her, I do

Gia: Oh, Teds

Teddy: She is perfect, she literally is

Gia: You really should save all this for your romantic gesture

Teddy: I have to think of one first

Gia: How hard can it be, come on

Gia: You’re meant to be in love

Teddy: You’re marginally less awful at motivational speeches, cool

Gia: It’s more within my wheelhouse

Teddy: I’ll see you next Sunday, Gia

Gia: Laters

Teddy: [Send her the deets of this holiday you’ve literally booked rn immediately for y’all because that’s a good idea honestly, we’ll just have to hope your fam don’t ask questions because it doesn’t fit with the Grace vibe and you’d have to pretend you did it because you’re heartbroken until she’s back lol]

Nancy: [lbr, it’s not as if your fam is ever buying this Grace thing, they just think you’re being a moron, so it’s fine lmao]

Nancy: Are you just telling me how out of town you’ll be or…

Teddy: OR there’s a car waiting to take you to the airport

Nancy: You’re serious

Teddy: You know I am

Nancy: I didn’t put a ?

Nancy: and you’re going to be there, you aren’t sending me away so you get some peace and quiet

Teddy: What happens on this hol stays on this hol, so if you still wish it didn’t & you could throw me out again after, I’m making it super easy for you

Nancy: Of course that’s not what I want

Teddy: No risk to your heart or your new bed whatever you want

Nancy: You know what I want

Nancy: I can’t believe you’ve booked this

Teddy: You can’t believe I seriously need to be with you, but I do

Nancy: I believe you right now

Teddy: Are you going to get in the car & meet me here?

Nancy: Yes

Nancy: I just need to get everyone to leave first

Teddy: Rex will help you

Nancy: Oh, shit, I’ll have to call someone to look after him

Nancy: right, when is the flight?

Teddy: [Tell her, the vibe is clearly that it’s soon in that chaotic way of like you gotta come now, but not like to the level we’re guaranteeing she’ll miss it] & the next one is [whenever, like in case we do miss this because know what y’all are like tbh]

Nancy: That’s okay, it’s meant to be a challenge, I’m not going to turn it down or disappoint you

Teddy: What have you taken? Perhaps it’ll help too

Nancy: I’ll have to counteract [the uppers your vibe has clearly been to be wired and chaotic] so I get through security 😎

Nancy: At least I didn’t go the other way, I could’ve been passed out and missed this 

Teddy: My next move would’ve been to crash the party & wake you

Nancy: The door is open

Nancy: I might just call the feds and leave, it’s only the dregs here at this o’clock, no one important

Teddy: I’ll call them, you get ready

Nancy: I’m gonna make Ava look after the dog, act like it’s for the kids, there’s no one else to call this short notice, I don’t have friends rn

Nancy: What do I pack?

Teddy: I love that, say goodbye to him for me

Teddy: Anything you can’t buy at [whatever shops there are at the airport that are boujee enough for y’all]

Nancy: 🥺🥺🥺 He’ll come next time, when he’s bigger

Nancy: If you don’t like how I look, you can fix it, I don’t care, I’m too excited

Teddy: I adore how you look, but I do need to fix how you feel

Nancy: 💗☀️🌊💗 fixes everything

Nancy: you’re not cross at me?

Teddy: I’m cross at me, I didn’t mean to hurt you

Nancy: I’m stupid, you’re stupid, we’re perfect for each other

Teddy: That’s what I told G

Teddy: we’re perfect & you’re perfect, not you’re stupid

Nancy: you been talking about me? 😁

Teddy: She wasn’t listening, she was far too busy crying about her hubby’s mood swings, but I tried

Nancy: He’s having his end-of-life crisis? Awkward

Teddy: Yeah, all because I refused to be seen but not heard at lunch

Nancy: Okay, you didn’t sign up for him to be your daddy too

Teddy: He’s irrelevant, I missed you

Nancy: I missed you more, my face hurts from clenching my jaw about it

Nancy: my heart hurt in my chest too

Teddy: 🥺 I should’ve booked this sooner, before you had time to feel any pain

Nancy: it’s okay, it’s good, it’s real

Teddy: They wouldn’t leave me alone & I had to think, or it wouldn’t have taken this long, it’s entirely my family’s fault

Nancy: I can’t believe you were having lunch like it’s normal 😂

Nancy: what meat did you have, most importantly

Teddy: [idk what posh people eat but pop off about it, clearly it’s whatever your dad wanted so expensive af steak or lamb is probably the vibe if we posh up my dad and most dads lol]

Nancy: I love you

Nancy: you must’ve been in such a bad mood

Teddy: Hence my sister reaching out to chat, she has to appear to care or commit fully to the evil stepmother role

Nancy: Rih always does that too

Nancy: probably just nosy

Teddy: I can’t blame her, her own life is empty, she literally opened by calling it a nightmare

Nancy: 😬

Nancy: She can’t have my ticket, I’m afraid

Teddy: She has no one else to blame

Teddy: & no, she can’t, it’s yours for a reason, I also told her how special you are

Nancy: 🥺🥺🥺🥺 She must think I’m unbearable 

Teddy: She thinks her husband isn’t unbearable, apparently, her opinion is invalid

Nancy: I don’t care, you think I’m special

Nancy: and you’re telling people

Teddy: I’ll make an on board announcement once we’ve caught the flight, I don’t care

Nancy: 😋 you’re gonna be way too busy

Teddy: I love you

Nancy: [show him your ‘packing’ which is you just throwing things at this suitcase because you’re high, excited and rushing, not that I think you’re any less chaotic ever]

Nancy: I’ve not stopped thinking about you, that’s why I didn’t want to get tranq’d, going up made you buzz around my head harder

Teddy: [tell her what you’ve been on in that hard same way whether you’re just getting drunk af with your mum during this meal or you were also taking something between courses cos both I can imagine]

Nancy: I knew you’d be doing that too, anything else I tried but failed not to think about

Teddy: I was going to show at your place, party or no, but I couldn’t bear you having not even the slightest interest in seeing me

Nancy: That’s never going to be the case

Teddy: Never?

Nancy: I don’t even know how convincingly I could fake it

Teddy: It’s another challenge you aren’t going to turn down or disappoint me with, but not yet

Teddy: this is our time, you & I

Nancy: I’m not even thinking about it, nothing but you

Teddy: I’m thinking we could get married in [wherever y’all are going]

Nancy: Who can stop us, no one

Teddy: G believes I’m incapable of being serious, but you believe me now

Nancy: She wouldn’t think this is serious, everyone has different versions 

Nancy: ours are compatible 

Teddy: Any time spent with my family reinforces how much better ours is

Nancy: I can’t let them have you anymore, I’m not even sorry

Nancy: I need you

Teddy: I’m not sorry I’m yours, not at all

Nancy: Can we really, get married, I mean

Teddy: Of course

Nancy: then it’ll be official

Teddy: You’ll belong to me, you can’t up & leave or throw me out

Nancy: I won’t have any reason to doubt you or your intentions, you’ll have shown me

Teddy: I will

Nancy: Close

Nancy: They’ll let us practice 💘

Teddy: We’re both dyslexic, tell them I need to practise the kiss over & over again as well

Nancy: I need it just as much, maybe more

Teddy: I was scared I would forget what kissing you felt like

Nancy: We’ve not done it enough yet

Nancy: like, it’ll never be enough but not even not close

Teddy: No one can stop us, I’ll do it whenever I want

Nancy: I want it all the time, just so you know there’s no reason to ever stop

Teddy: Well, you’ve given me the best reason to always keep going

Nancy: I’ll give you more, when I can get my hands on you again

Teddy: Are you on your way yet?

Nancy: I don’t trust anyone here to keep Rex from running out the door when they all do

Nancy: Ava is meant to be on her way though 🕛

Teddy: You’re such a fantastic mother, Nance

Nancy: I don’t want to lose either of you

Teddy: It isn’t going to happen, darling

Nancy: and I know you love him too

Teddy: Does he know we were fighting? What did you say about me?

Nancy: [tell him all the mean things you undoubtedly said because you’re crazy and were upset]

Teddy: He must hate me 💔

Nancy: I only told Grace to get real though, that your finger probably slipped, like you said

Nancy: so I haven’t ruined it

Nancy: I didn’t mean any of it

Teddy: We aren’t thinking about her right now, like you said

Nancy: Rex is super forgiving, he’s that loyal

Teddy: [just be buying this dog things rn with no thought to the fact nobody will be there to accept those parcels cos kinda boy you are]

Nancy: See, you’re the best daddy too

Nancy: I’m telling him ALL the nice things now before he leaves

Teddy: [do a voice note apology to this dog despite the fact you haven’t actually given her a verbal one, we stan a toxic king]

Nancy: [this dog doing whining noises probably ‘cos he’s stressed about all these randomers but we’re acting like it’s for you, of course]

Teddy: I knew he’d still love me

Nancy: the most

Nancy: I’m so 🥺 over it

Teddy: If he wasn’t with Ava I’d call him every day we’re away

Nancy: You’d seem like the most doting uncle

Teddy: Which everyone knows I’m not

Nancy: You might have to fake that, when you’re with her

Nancy: not now

Teddy: It’s a holiday from fake

Nancy: everything that’s not us

Teddy: I need it

Nancy: I know, everything else is draining

Nancy: you just give and give to me

Teddy: You’re the most important & I’ll have time to focus on you

Nancy: I need your attention, Teddy, desperately

Teddy: I’m as desperate to give it all to you

Nancy: The way I’m throwing this dog at her and leaving her to deal with the cops too

Nancy: sorry but 😈 I HAVE to go

Teddy: You can’t keep me waiting any longer than traffic in the city dictates, it’s already going to be SO unfair

Nancy: Is there anything I can do for you now? Poor baby

Teddy: I just want to be with you

Nancy: I’ll make everyone move faster, be here so I can not be

Teddy: Please

Nancy: [not you blowing up your sister like you’re not the adult, showing him as much, you mess]

Teddy: [so soz Ava, you literally deserve none of this, but we can all thank god at least java weren’t at the fam sunday roast]

Teddy: She’s still exactly the same as she was in school, priorities all over the place

Nancy: If I didn’t have the dog, she wouldn’t come at all

Nancy: luckily I do 

Teddy: If you didn’t have Rex she’d be useless to you

Nancy: That’s how she sees me, all of them do

Teddy: They’re wrong, I’m right

Nancy: I don’t want to be any use to them, they don’t deserve it

Teddy: You deserve to be appreciated

Nancy: By you, that’s what I want

Teddy: I won’t take you for granted, I can’t, you’re too rare

Nancy: I keep forgetting this is real, my suitcase is right there, you’re waiting for me

Teddy: It’s the [whatever drugs she took], baby

Teddy: but I won’t let you forget

Nancy: I just think you’re unreal

Nancy: it was [some unsavoury character who is available for Sunday morning/afternoon seshes]’s shit, not even that good

Teddy: I’ll remember to have a chat with him when we get back then

Nancy: Hot

Nancy: Can I watch?

Teddy: Yes

Nancy: 🥴 now I’m properly gone

Teddy: I have to protect you, Rex is only a baby

Nancy: You should’ve had a younger sister, you’d be good at it

Teddy: I’ll have a daughter instead, thanks to you

Teddy: which is all the more reason to take nothing but the finest [whatever drug lol]

Nancy: I’ll behave better now I have incentive again 😇

Nancy: and I can come up with any and every excuse to NEED to go on this trip, Ava isn’t putting 2 and 2 together

Teddy: It was thoughtful of J to put her off going to King’s, imagine having to see her whenever I go into uni

Nancy: I definitely couldn’t sleep with your whole rugby team then 🙄🥱

Nancy: It’s weird you didn’t hook up back in the day but I’m the opposite of mad

Teddy: She’s weirdly monogamous, I did try

Nancy: We did have some people like that too, avoiding the whole wifeswap energy that was inevitable once everyone started hooking up

Nancy: her loss

Teddy: You can tell she’s boring in bed anyway

Nancy: I can tell her you’re not

Teddy: Thank you, darling

Nancy: 🤤 THANK YOU

Teddy: Thank me later

Nancy: but I’m thinking about it already

Teddy: Me too

Nancy: Do we have to wait ‘til we’re there? 😨😨

Teddy: No, it’s a [however many hour idk where we’re sending you] flight

Nancy: I cannot do it, I’m dead serious about that

Teddy: I’ll want you the moment I see you

Nancy: We can find somewhere private

Teddy: Immediately

Nancy: Yes please

Teddy: You could stay in the car & I pay the driver to get out?

Nancy: That is a really good idea, do that

Teddy: It’ll be on my mind constantly until I can

Nancy: I’m not going to be able to sit still

Teddy: I like watching you, you can show me

Nancy: I’ll show you what I didn’t bother packing, what my skirt is just long enough to hide

Teddy: Fuck, I won’t be able to sit still either

Nancy: Tell them we only need one seat actually, you’re mine

Teddy: I’ll do that, it’s a really good idea of yours

Nancy: thinking about riding your cock for [however long this flight is] has me ready to come home before we’ve even landed 

Teddy: You didn’t let anyone in our bed, did you?

Nancy: No, I didn’t want to be in my room, see it

Nancy: just got fucked up, I swear

Teddy: I believe you

Nancy: It’s still special, I barely got chance to touch myself in it before we were fighting

Teddy: I’d have to take it apart otherwise & I don’t have the first clue how to do something like that

Nancy: Help me try to break it the fun way instead

Teddy: Are plane seats breakable?

Nancy: Test it, test me

Teddy: Okay, I will

Nancy: see what we can get away with, how far we can take it

Teddy: This is the start of us getting away with anything

Nancy: Everything 

Teddy: Yes, everything

Nancy: Oh, I see her

Nancy: hold on whilst I throw Rex at her, she’s going to try to stop me

Teddy: I’d say give her my love, but now is hardly the appropriate moment

Nancy: I wish I could be that blatant

Teddy: Soon you can be as blatant as you like

Nancy: God, I can’t fucking wait

Teddy: We’re going to have a fantastic time

Nancy: [give you a moment here to clearly beef with your sister but ultimately hand this dog over and your keys to your flat like thank you goodbye, so rude, so immature and crazy]

Nancy: Better than the best week ever

Nancy: and we barely wasted any time

Teddy: I’m very proud of you

Nancy: [send a car selfie like you are correct to be]

Nancy: We’re doing this

Teddy: Were you wearing [a really boujee brand that’s expensive af and she had no business wearing to party on a sunday and be sad and messy is the point lol] at your party?

Nancy: If I’m going to fall apart, I’m still going to dress well doing it

Nancy: I didn’t need to go full trap house 

Teddy: You mustn’t ever stop being this perfect

Nancy: Though you would think I’d been letting people blow crack in Rex’s face, the way Ava just went off 🙄

Nancy: You might have to take your perfect self along and claim him when we get back, James is less stubborn than her

Teddy: I can go off back at her without needing to blow our cover, her lifestyle fully entitles me

Nancy: 😍 Okay, my hero

Teddy: But if she intends to steal Rex, of course I’ll step in physically as well

Nancy: I love you so much

Nancy: She talks to me like I’m a child

Teddy: My sister does the same to me, it makes them feel grown up & obviously because they aren’t actually so few other things do

Nancy: You would feel like a child if you were dating someone so old and boring

Teddy: True & that is the case for them both, J has prematurely turned himself ancient, G’s husband is

Nancy: It’s not fun if it’s not for sex but for all the time

Teddy: I couldn’t bring myself to ask you to sleep with my new brother in law, even for the fun of the divorce

Nancy: Do you think he’s into monogamy?

Teddy: Assumedly, I doubt the bore act is a bluff to hide the fact he’s really a dark horse into all kinds of dark things, we’d be able to tell

Nancy: You definitely would

Nancy: It’s a shame she has to wait for him to die then 😕

Teddy: She’ll go behind his back & cheat, my father is her hero, after all

Nancy: We could help her get caught

Nancy: If he’s truly that boring, he’ll want her gone before she can get her hands on his fortune

Teddy: That could work, well done for being so clever

Nancy: Who does she really like, what type, you’ll have to find out

Nancy: can even engineer the meet cutes to give her the easiest job

Teddy: She isn’t going to open up to me, or my mother who would give the info up to me, you’ll have to befriend her while I’m busy with Grace

Nancy: There’s no better use of my time

Nancy: I’ll do it, and tell you all about it

Teddy: She won’t make it easy, she’s an undiagnosed autistic or something, basically like a robot

Nancy: I don’t mind a challenge

Nancy: People act like that when they need to, it’s not gonna be the whole story

Teddy: It definitely isn’t, she hasn’t always acted how she does now 

Teddy: J left a place for her to be my father’s real II when it became clear he was fit for it in name only & since then her special interest is licking his [a boujee brand of shoe]

Nancy: I’ll refrain from suggesting she just bites the bullet and goes there…

Nancy: I bet her type is someone your father would hate then

Teddy: Yeah, naturally, it makes too much sense to not be accurate

Nancy: So, assuming she’s not secretly queer, what other minorities can we focus in on 🤔

Teddy: She refuses to shut up about work, there’s definitely poverty porn in her history, she’s desperate to be middle class

Nancy: Awh, how predictable

Teddy: If they weren’t too young to pique her interest I’d throw one of the council estate kids from uni at her

Nancy: Someone from Uni IS a good idea though, a professor or someone doing a master's, maybe

Nancy: She’s that sort of girl, right?

Teddy: What a 🥱 prospect, but yeah, absolutely she is

Nancy: Poor AND stupid would really be painting a picture of her I’m sure she’s not interested in being shown

Teddy: [do a kiss and tell about like a boy who cleaned your parents pool or mowed their lawn or some other cliche who was poor and stupid that you hooked up with just cos]

Nancy: No one else is you, unfortunately 😖

Teddy: I need you to start once we get home, she’s planning a family

Nancy: I promise, I’ll get her back for you

Teddy: Viagra will have too much to answer for if she gets pregnant before he gets cheated on 🤢

Nancy: If she’s so like a robot, why does she even want them? 👶👶

Teddy: It’ll please my parents? It means she’s guaranteed more of the fortune? 

Nancy: Yeah, that makes sense

Nancy: Her being a perfectly respectable age to breed and all

Teddy: Maybe he’s disappointed with how the brats he had with the first wife turned out, having met them, I would be

Nancy: Are none of them cute?

Nancy: A wasted opportunity

Teddy: [give her the step kid tea whatever it is]

Nancy: You could take one for the team and do it, that would be maximum chaos

Nancy: doesn’t sound like she’ll commit to the step-mum fantasy for them, they are rich and boring, after-all

Teddy: Would you mind?

Nancy: I don’t think so

Nancy: I don’t know

Teddy: I’d hate to act in a way which would cause problems between us

Nancy: I don’t want you to feel like you can’t do what you want, then you’ll just resent me

Teddy: BUT I’ll be upset if you’re upset

Nancy: I wish I could do it with you, yeah

Nancy: but that’s not always possible

Teddy: 🥺💔

Nancy: Would it make you happy?

Teddy: Causing chaos is my favourite, but so are you

Nancy: Darling

Nancy: I want to know exactly what you want so I can help make it happen, that includes letting you do this

Teddy: Having another pet like Grace would be fun, I’m sure

Nancy: Think about it

Teddy: Who do you think? Pick for me

Nancy: [go through these step kids socials so you can vibe out who you actually think would be the easiest target, telling him why]

Teddy: Okay, I’ll do it

Nancy: I really want you to, the more I think about it

Teddy: Share your thoughts with me

Nancy: I like the idea of you being that satisfied, having someone so willing to do anything for you because you manipulated them into being that way

Teddy: Your explanation is really selling the idea

Nancy: Don’t be afraid to want it

Nancy: I want it for me too

Teddy: I’ll be brave

Nancy: Tell me what worries you about it

Teddy: What if I can’t do as good of a job as you have with Grace?

Nancy: They aren’t as vulnerable

Nancy: You aren’t as lucky

Teddy: I don’t want to fail

Nancy: You’ll have to take it slow, it’s not easy

Nancy: I can coach you

Teddy: I can’t do it without you

Nancy: You’ll have me, I’m yours now, remember

Teddy: Officially

Nancy: No one comes between us, it’s hierarchy, and we’re at the top

Teddy: 👑 & 💍

Nancy: Anyone else is a pet or a toy, just like you said

Nancy: but you’re so real

Teddy: You’re mine the way nobody else is

Nancy: you’re giving me your name, your children

Teddy: As soon as possible

Nancy: I want it all

Teddy: You’re torturing me by not being physically here now

Nancy: and you like how much it hurts

Teddy: Yes, I love it, but knowing that will do the opposite of hurrying you along & I’d also love to have you with me

Nancy: Hey, I’m not driving 😏

Teddy: But you could influence the driver

Nancy: To slow down, maybe

Nancy: don’t want him thinking this is for him

Teddy: Unless his ‘celeb’ lookalike is [someone famous Nancy won’t have heard of possibly in the vein of when Grace said he looked like somebody famous to take the piss out of her for that one], I highly doubt he’s supposing a girl like you could be for him

Teddy: Besides which, I’m not paying him to think

Nancy: No… he looks like [a really old man celeb, not a compliment, not a vibe]

Nancy: 😍 stop being that hot

Teddy: Oh, what a shame, poor you

Teddy: No, I refuse, I’m winning you back

Nancy: Haven’t you already won?

Teddy: You aren’t here yet, you could still demand the driver turns the car around

Nancy: I’ve traumatised you 

Teddy: A little

Nancy: Why didn’t you give up?

Teddy: Because I’d have done the same thing, even if it traumatised you

Nancy: Both times?

Teddy: You’re more or less a female version of who I am

Nancy: I won’t pretend to be offended by that

Teddy: You’re too aware of how much of a compliment it is to be offended

Nancy: The only other comparisons I get have me not measuring up, or looking like my father

Nancy: it isn’t any competition but, yeah

Teddy: You should’ve told me, I’ll happily split your parents up by sleeping with your father if you look that alike

Nancy: 😂 Sorry to dash that dream

Teddy: I’ll eventually get over it, providing you don’t dash any others

Nancy: Keep me making them come true for you fun and I won’t

Teddy: I’ll keep everything fun

Nancy: I can’t be bored, I don’t do it

Teddy: I don’t bore people, they bore me

Nancy: You want me to be happy, don’t you?

Teddy: It’s a priority, obviously

Nancy: Nothing about this is going to be boring then, promise

Teddy: Starting now?

Nancy: Traumatised, fine

Nancy: but don’t act like you’ve been bored

Teddy: Joking, I promise

Nancy: I’ve not asked to turn around, it’s okay

Teddy: I’d track you down, should you be foolish enough

Nancy: Good

Nancy: acting like you don’t care when you do is the most boring thing you could do

Teddy: Lies are for anyone who isn’t us

Nancy: Everyone

Teddy: There are no circumstances in which I’m willing to give up on this

Teddy: not on you, you’re mine

Nancy: None, I’m not allowing it, whatever happens

Nancy: you’re mine

Teddy: We aren’t having any more blips though, they won’t happen

Nancy: I’m sorry

Teddy: It’s behind us now

Nancy: Maybe

Nancy: I’m still crazy

Teddy: You’re my ideal woman

Nancy: You’ll make me crazier, saying things like that when you’re so incredible yourself

Teddy: No one will blame you, going crazy for me

Nancy: No one knows but they could and I wouldn’t care, not if everyone knew

Teddy: It’s okay, you’re allowed to care about the plan too, it’s still a good one & I can’t blame you for wanting to go ahead, we’re both committed to it as well as each other

Nancy: It’s half finished, if anything, she’s just had an ego boost paired with an embarrassment so far

Nancy: it’s not enough

Teddy: & I know the ego boost upsets you the most

Teddy: but we’ll see it through & she won’t have an ego left to speak of

Nancy: 🥰

Nancy: Alright, dirty talk

Teddy: Until you’re here, it’s all I have to content myself with

Nancy: I’m assured we’re going as fast as we can, darling

Teddy: Give him my assurance if he manages to go faster it’ll be extremely worthwhile

Nancy: I suppose he should be let in on that secret

Teddy: My financial generosity is no secret, but everything else can remain so, I’ve already told you I like it that way

Nancy: I meant the general worthwhileness, which for me has little to do with your cash

Nancy: not nothing but 😘

Teddy: You want to tell the driver all about me & the plan I have for you? Well, I suppose I should allow it as I couldn’t keep my mouth shut to my sister

Nancy: I’m sorry she didn’t care, that neither of my siblings would either 😔

Nancy: you deserve excitement 

Teddy: You are exciting

Nancy: That’s a promise 

Nancy: What will she think of Grace?

Teddy: As she’s one of your poor relations, G should be a fan, this is going to test whether her devotion to the working classes is all talk or something she’s actually willing to stand by

Nancy: Good luck to her

Nancy: Grace is entirely mortified by her lack of class, she’ll be doing everything to fit in and failing, as per

Teddy: As Grace should be, I’m truly the lucky one to have you as a palate cleanser for the bad taste your cousin inevitably leaves

Nancy: Being compared to an aperitif is a new one…

Teddy: Maybe, but in this instance, it’s completely fitting

Nancy: You’re such a weirdo 😏

Teddy: Which is equally fitting considering nobody but a weirdo would seduce Grace

Nancy: Her dating history may as well be the sex offenders register, one in the same

Teddy: She does act a lot younger than she is

Nancy: Easiest way to get the easiest men, you can feel desirable if your standards don’t exist 🤷‍♀️

Teddy: G will be delighted at the excuse to shoo us both onto the children’s table with the brats

Nancy: You’re clearly not the company she can keep now she’s a mature sophisticated adult

Nancy: I’ve been there 

Teddy: She’s just jealous I’m not lacking in far superior company

Nancy: I bet she’s missing someone, that’s how I’d act, if one of mine was trying to tell me about their great new relationship 

Teddy: You’ll be able to discover who once you get her to open up to you, we may not need a new romance after all

Nancy: As boring as it’ll be to pretend I’m serious too

Nancy: I’ll suffer it for you 

Teddy: You won’t be as indebted to me for having to suffer Grace, think of it that way

Nancy: Perhaps I like being indebted to you 😋 

Nancy: but really, it’ll be so easy, just like talking to my mother

Teddy: If so, fear not, darling, my workload & struggle is much greater, you’ll still owe me plenty & I intend to collect

Nancy: Jesus Christ, please do

Nancy: don’t let me clear it, ever, pile on the interest

Teddy: It’s a promise

[angeltreasure]

This is quite possibly the dumbest thing I’ve ever asked for prayer for? I don’t spend too much time on certain social media like Instagram, tiktok or other places where people tend to post about their life that make it look like a total dream and probably very fake. Finding the church and faith deffo helped me with not comparing and feeling stressed in this way but out of nowhere I felt very ‘attacked’ by this as one of my friends sent me this page to someone where they look like they’re living the dream, ‘perfect’ body, perfect looks, perfect lifestyle and ‘carefree’ and I immediately felt super sad and like almost depressed and like I forgot everything God has done for me and again I feel like half this stuff I’m looking at and comparing isn’t even my values and what really matters in Gods eyes yet I still get so overwhelmed by this sometimes. Please pray for me!!

The world promises if you have enough followers, subscribers, money, fame, popularity, that you’ll become rich and famous and that’s how you get happy. Well guess what? The world gives broken promises. So many people try to fill the void by using social media but it won’t fix what we really want inside. Every single person was born with a shape that only God can fill. That’s why we get depressed (along with all the other addictions like porn, drugs, alcohol, etc). You must also remember on social media that even though a person’s life looks amazing, they’re not going to post every single moment of their lives especially when they’re trying to reach a certain audience of people to get followers. That’s why you see only good things, the perfect looks, the peaceful vacation pictures, and extravagant food and other luxuries we ourselves probably can’t afford. Try to break away from social media’s treasures and instead, store real treasures up in Heaven. God waits for you so patiently and His mercy is ready to be poured out upon you the moment you pray to Him about all that you told me. He loves you so much, more than mom and dad. He waits for you like the father to the prodigal son, waiting to run out and embrace you in His arms. Jesus even said on the cross “I thirst…” - (John 19:28) not a thirst for a drink but He meant He thirsts for you, your love. I’ll pray for you.

[originemesis]

@cast-you-dxwn from xxx

If there was anything about Adam that was difficult to damage, it was his ego. Not thirty seconds out from being pinned beneath him and already slapping away his hand, his help, and his advice. “I’m not asking for perfection, Adam.” He exhales heavily through his nose as the First Man puffs up. He didn’t understand why this was so difficult, why it was always a massive tug-of-war trying to get the Commander of the Exorcists to do anything. Lute was of no help, despite her competence she was utterly loyal to Adam, what would normally be a commendable trait turned to an irritation. “It isn’t difficult to at least not leave your weaponry in Hell. What happens when some enterprising Sinner gets lucky, when one of your girls is wounded? God forbid, if one of them is killed?” At this, Michaels lip curls, the Archangel seeming to finally descend into irritation with Adam. Perhaps it’s partially from the uncalled-for comparison to Lucifer, something that normally would call for a sharp glare and some punitive measure, but the commanders laissez-faire attitude toward his soldiers immortal mortality was edging perilously close to infuriating. “What then, Adam? Will you look at yourself, look at these soldiers under your command and say ‘Ah, it’s okay. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.’?”

If anything, his ego was far from intact. It was the more shredded aspect of his being, but simply held together and into place very much like the soft and sickly pale visage of humanity locked into an exoskeleton rarely shed for want of it to be his own flesh- a bastion to bear the burden of mankind.

An eye roll accompanied the seraphim's irate snort. "Yeah huh. Absolutely not looking for shit to be perfect in heaven- do you hear yourself right now?" Just the notion that the backbone (and subsequent vertebrae in lieu of the Exorcists-) of heaven's very foundational safety was not expected to remain a permanent 180 degrees was laughable at best. Of course dude wanted perfection- Adam thought within the added plush against judgement added via the puffed feathers- he just knew that was too much to ask a being like him. Created perfect- knew just what it entailed, if only briefly, yet remained utterly unable to replicate it despite the fact. He was always going to be a handicap to this position, and Michael fucking knew it. It was why he wasn't going to let him peck at him with the 'if you only worked harder' shit because he knew it wouldn't be enough to reach whatever vision the seraphim had for a project he couldn't have possibly wanted for himself the way he'd thrust it upon the first mortal-made soul.

And when the other's concerns finally revealed themselves, it was the commander's turn to scoff at the implications, elbow coming to rest in an open talon while the other flexed idly about. "Yeah, 'cause my concern should definitely be playing janitor than getting my girls home after a long day of destroying demon ass? As if." Another thoughtless flick of the wrist had him running a thumb along talon tips. "Plus it's not like angelic weapons do a demonic wielder any good, right? If anything, I'm leaving more shit for them to trip on and slay themselves once we're outtie."

He can't say the thought the other proposes doesn't strike a chord, but he's fairly sure Michael's only desire when striking it is to get under his skin. His eyes narrow to surly slits through the visor's display. What then? "Whatever, Doomsdayer. Never gonna fuckin' happen." A heavy slam of his wings senda a torrent of wind forward in an unspoken (though perhaps a degree more dramatic than need be) salute as he returns them less puffy to his flank. "That all, 'sir'?" He grumbles, his tone a shade of 'mmk can I go now?' "...'cause chickadees are due for their preen puddle and I really can't keep rescheduling like this ~ "

[truearchangel]

   This was becoming a bit too awkward, even for Michael. The tip of his tail  was probably the tipping point in that. It was never unusual for the twins to wrestle in the clouds, he often got tackled by his brother and ended up rolling around, pinning each other. The mudslide incident in Eden being one of those events. They’re boys, they wrestle and hit each other, argue and shove one another, it was just normal. This though, when he involved the tail, was a bit to much even for Michael. 

   It was far too weird. 

   But he waited, let Lucifer get out what he had to get out, and then as he looped around and started arguing about the sinners. Michael could feel his own gaze narrow, the frustration that started to well up in him, the lack of seeing that for all Lucifer felt he was doing–the devil was doing himself. Always quick to defend his realm without attempting to see both sides, and that was perhaps also what Michael himself was doing. Arguing one side without wanting to see the other though at least he had a more valid reason for doing that. He will not let his halo shatter and get himself stuck down here. 

   When Lucifer finished his speech Michael abruptly pulled his magic into himself and teleported out from beneath the other. The blue lights carried him a bit down the hall, put him a good distance from his brother and dropped him onto his feet. Brushing his hands off he adjusted his coat, fixed his vest into place and took a deep breath. Calm, fighting isn’t going to help this as much as he does want to throw harsh words at Lucifer. Make him see and understand just what it was Michael was thinking. Making him hear him. It isn’t going to solve anything if he starts actually shouting at him. 

   But he won’t let this go either. There was a limit to the things that Heaven could willingly accept, to the things that Michael was going to allow himself to hear and believe without throwing words back at the devil. There has to be some level of acceptance to this that Lucifer needs to see. 

   The Heavenly Order does exist for a reason. 

   “They might be adults, but does that really invalidate the fact that they don’t need me or guidance, Lucifer? Does that change the fact that I’m their older brother and that someone has to watch over them? Does that change the fact that I had missed something apparently glaringly obvious in one of them already that it caused an entire shift not only in Heaven  but the universe itself? That one of them fell so if I don’t pay attention now another one might join them?” Michael failed once before, why would he risk that a second time? “I don’t care how old they get, I will not lose another one.” 

   He will keep the other Archangels in the clouds by the skin of his teeth if he has to. 

   “And as for those precious sinners that your daughter wants to perfect and cherish so much. They are only one half to a side. That boy, taken in and abused, forced to do things. Let’s keep going with the story. He breaks into a house, strangles another little boy in his sleep, slaughtered someone’s daughter, kills their wife. The father comes home, sees his family destroyed, his world ended in a single night, his precious daughter dead in her bed. The boy goes to Hell for what he did, the family’s in Heaven. You want me, to allow a sinner in Heaven where the victims of his violent crime reside just because someone made him do that?  Because he was a product of how he was treated?” 

   There is always another side in a violent crime. 

   “There are two halves to a whole. There are victims and there are perpetrators. There are people who have been violently harmed and traumatized from what happened to them when they were alive. There are people who don’t deserve to have to face the person that harmed them when they were alive. And I know what you want to say, you want to throw at me how do you judge one crime more than another. I don’t know. I don’t know and I don’t really care. That is Hell’s problem. You are supposed to decide how to make the crime fit the punishment. That is what Hell is for. A punishment.” 

   The questions that drove him down here, he never said he wanted to find the answer, at least not one that would trap him down here. He wants answers, but he wants the ones that will send him back up to Heaven. 

   He’s the Angel of Faith, he’s meant to have that faith. It’s supposed to be unshakable and the habit he has for always defending Heaven won’t simply go away because a few questions got raised within him. 

   But if he continues to believe what he is meant to believe, that’s how he’ll end up back up there. That’s how he’ll return to the place he’s meant to be, with the answer that God wants, where he can keep watching his siblings and ensure that they’ll always be safe. Always have someone watching over them. 

   He won’t miss the signs of one falling again. 

   He won’t fall himself and leave them all alone. 

   “I’m not leaving you behind. You left me behind the moment you deemed those humans in Eden more important than your own family. When you decided that it was alright to raise your sword against me. When you cut me down and didn’t expect me to return the violence. I hurt and threw you from Heaven, you started that fight. I never wanted to hurt you, but apparently the love of some woman is greater than that of family.”

His brother is so fucking stubborn that Lucifer wanted to smack him upside the for it. While he can remember Michael being stubborn before his fall, he'd somehow become even more so in the last ten thousand years. He could almost rival Lucifer's stubbornness. There was absolutely nothing insane about having doubts and believing it was alright to have them. If anyone was insane, it was Michael for thinking it was insane. Idiot.

At the mention of their brothers, Lucifer sees that for what it is. A shield. An excuse. Then his gaze narrows as Michael informs him that he's only down here to reaffirm to himself that the Sinners that his Charlie cares for so much are precisely where they belong. Too bad there was a Sir Pentious sized hole up in Heaven for that argument of his. Though Lucifer can't tell himself that he didn't feel like his heart was squeezed when Michael said he would go home and it sounded so final. That he would go home and that was it. He wouldn't look back down here, he wouldn't look at Lucifer again.

He didn't want that to be what happens.

When Michael demands that he let him go, Lucifer stubbornly and selfishly doesn't. He only tightens his grip and only grunts when his twin nearly cracks his skull as they fall backwards in a heap on the floor. Thankfully his wings hid themselves or that would've been a bit more painful. Regardless, Lucifer glares up at his twin from his position beneath him and sneers at being called petty before flipping their positions by rolling them over. The devil is quick to grab both of Michael's wrists and pin them to the floor on either side of his head as he glares down at his angelic twin.

          "It's not pettiness, Michael. I'm just selfish," Lucifer corrected as he leaned down a bit so their faces were closer but not too close, he wouldn't put it past Michael to try to purposely headbutt him. "For I would keep you here forever if you told me that you wanted to stay, because I've missed you and I don't want you to leave me."

His tail manifested behind him, lashing back and forth in agitation before it curled around Lucifer and he pressed the wide tip against Michael's mouth to keep him from talking. He hadn't finished just yet and he wasn't going to allow his twin to interrupt him.

          "You bring up the others and say they need you but news flash, Michael, they don't. They are old enough to be able to take care of themselves and make their own choices. You don't need to be shouldering everything up there as I know you do from all the paperwork you get. You don't need to be micromanaging them and I'm sure they would be offended that you think that they can't do things themselves because you have to be the one to make the decisions and be the responsible one for them, taking that option from them. They can take care and be responsible for themselves as they are not children," The fallen angel informed him in a very matter-of-fact tone but his gaze was searing as he stared down at his brother.

          "As for the Sinners that you seem to be so sure about belonging here, you've got Sir Pentious up in Heaven that says otherwise to your little argument. Not all Sinners who are in Hell deserve it. Some of them are here due to the path their life took, bad circumstances and having no other choice. Do you really think that some kid whose parents died and was taken in by abusive family members who forced them to do things and make choices they didn't want to do in order to survive deserves to be here? That Sinner would deserve a shot at redemption and so would others with less severe sins staining their souls... Not all of them can be redeemed and my daughter knows that, but if those who are deserving and truly want it can then it's better than having to watch them be slaughtered by Heaven due to their irrational fear of Hell."

His tail moves away from Michael's mouth and Lucifer's eyes narrow. "Keep making excuses, Michael. Keep telling yourself one thing while shutting your eyes and covering your ears to the answers you have." He sighs softly and pulls his head away a little, his expression becoming resigned. "If you were to leave me behind again by going back to Heaven, know that if you ever change your mind that you have a place here with me. Whether you portal here or Fall. I will catch you."

[castielcommunism]

like it was inevitable that dean was going to have his heart absolutely broken by mary. the pacing of their relationship in s12 is a little goofy and I know there was some behind the scenes/actor availability stuff that played into that, so I wish the fight where mary left happened later even though realistically it couldn’t, but the emotional beat is still correct. which is why I’m generally quick to handwave her decision to leave and work for the bmol, because like even if the literal details of the plot feel kinda absurd and overly dramatic, the emotional landscape makes perfect sense. dean laid himself completely bare at her feet, emotionally responding to her as if he were still a desperate little four year old who needed a hug from his mommy, and that level of emotional intensity from a strange adult man she doesn’t know was always going to eventually drive her away. and like from dean’s perspective, regardless of what she actually ended up doing after she left the bunker, her leaving may as well be her sleeping with the enemy. the betrayal he feels is narratively justified by her doing something legitimately sketchy and wrong, but like dean would feel that way even if mary left to work at a coffee shop.

and like dean has this habit of deifying people he loves and then being fucking crushed when they don’t live up to that expectation. and I don’t blame him for that really, his father did it with mary and it was the foundational logic of his entire life, AND he’s so socially underdeveloped because of how isolated he was growing up that boundary setting and healthy social expectations are things he genuinely needs to build up over time, but that also doesn’t mean mary isn’t allowed to find it overwhelming and exhausting and terrifying. the whole point of their conflict is that they’re two people grieving the 30 years they lost together and the destruction of their family. neither of them are innocent, but that doesn’t mean there’s a correct “side” to the conflict. it’s a situation where the only way forward is for them to both reconfigure their expectations of what life is going to be like. mary does on some level have to accept that it was her decision that ultimately killed her and jumpstarted this entire thing, and she has to accept that her sons are strangers and her husband is dead and take responsibility for the situation in front of her. heaven for her was this escapist fantasy where she could pretend her history as a hunter would never come back to haunt her. and dean needs to realise that mary can’t be a replacement for his father and she can’t be this perfect Mother who will fix all of his emotional problems and rescue him from himself. like mary is not his salvation and he still needs to live with who he is and who they are as a family. but it’s GOING to be messy and fucked up and they’re going to fight and get their feelings hurt. recovering from the trauma that is their own family is going to take time and effort and energy but the point is that it’s worth it!!!!!!!

[pockcock]

No thoughts. Pussy dwelling on Erwin's fingers edging you until you're a begging mess though. (Because let's face it, we all know the calluses on his hands feel like heaven when his tongue eases the feeling soon after-)

"whore mouth" // erwin smith x f!reader

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

word count: 2.4k

a/n: Oh god I'M SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG I'M SORRY I'M SORRYYYY :( This was supposed to be a drabble but I got carried away... Anyways. ENJOY <3

tw// porn with very little plot. impact play. slapping. jealous!erwin. sugardaddy!erwin. dom!erwin. sadist!erwin. edging. cunnilingus. breath play. dumbification. spitting. forced orgasm. slight blood. squirting. clit slapping. slight consensual non-con (reader and erwin have a dom/sub relationship). prey-predator if you squint. usage of "whore, slut, bitch". aftercare.

Erwin isn't the jealous type in your eye. He is a confident man, he is fierce. He is the CEO of the Corps Ltd. after all. He isn't jealous, people are jealous of him.

But the look he gave you at the party made you lose your ability to breathe.

He bought this black silk dress for you a couple of weeks ago. It arrived at your door by his assistant, Armin, a pretty young boy. He reminded you of Erwin, only young and naive. You felt incredible in the fabric, it felt as if the dress was made for you and you only. Everything was right about the dress. But you didn't have any opportunity to wear it. Until tonight.

"Here we are, madam," Armin spoke, his eyes met yours from the rearview mirror. It was obvious that he was having a hard time keeping his eyes away from your beautifully exposed chest and perky nipples showing through the dress. "Mr. Smith is waiting for you inside."

You thanked him and carefully got out of the car not letting your dress go even higher. As you entered the hotel where the party was being hosted, your eyes found your pretty CEO. Surrounded by his close friends Miche and Levi, he was laughing. He was wearing his brand new black Hermes set with a gold detailed Versace tie. Then he saw you, his whole expression changed. The bright, playful eyes turned into loving ones.

"My sunshine," he greeted you with open arms, calling you in. "She is finally here!"

You walked towards him. "Traffic hold me hostage!"

A little laugh escaped his lips as he hugged you. But his words were far far away from his laugh. "Why the fuck are you wearing that?"

You hugged him, hiding your surprised and sad face in his neck. "I-I thought you'd enjoy it..."

He let you go, fixed your hair a bit. Cupping your cheeks, he said: "We'll talk about it when we go home, okay? Now let's enjoy our party." And, uh, what a bastard he is, to put the smile back into your face, he added. "You're looking like a swan."

And the rest of the night was almost perfect. Erwin introduced you as "My cup of sunshine!" to his friends, co-workers, business partners. He complimented you, let others compliment you and he even let Miche steal you for the dance and touch your bareback with his enormous hands. He let Zeke kiss your hand which was decorated by the ring Erwin gave. Everything went smoothly.

And yet, here you were, in front of him. Couldn't even look at his face because of the humiliation and mockery he possessed in his eyes.

"Tell me, princess. Why did you wear that?" he asked, emphasizing the word 'that'.

"I'm sorry-"

Your head went to your right with the impact. Your left cheek was burning and you were in shock. Did he slap you?

"I'm not asking for your apology. I'm asking for the reason."

You lifted your head, eyes filled with fear. "I-"

Another slap. This one hurt more than the other. "Stop this fucking nonsense and answer me." His voice was calm, steady. It contained no anger or fury.

"I thought..." A tear left your eye, you wiped it with the back of your hand. "I thought y-you'd like it."

Another slap. "Did you get the note I sent with the dress? I remember putting it into the box myself. I even attached it to the dress with an anklet. Remember?"

"Yes."

Another slap, you fell onto the ground. "What did it say?"

A sob left your lips. "I-I don't..."

"You don't what, princess?" He kneeled down. He grabbed your chin, lifting it up and looking directly into your teary eyes. "Tell me."

" I don't remember!" You screamed it out. Humiliation now took over your body, making you ache in pain. It was also creating a pool between your legs. "I don't remember, Erwin! I'm so-"

Another slap. "You don't get to say my name tonight." He took his jacket off, then his tie, he threw both across the room. He talked as he rolled his sleeves up. “You don’t deserve to say my name with that whore mouth.”

He yanked your hair making you scream in pain, he slammed you into the wall. The photos fell down, shattered. His rough hands ripped the dress’ straps, making it fall onto the floor, pooling around your feet. “I bought this for my eyes. My pleasure.” He slapped your right breast harshly. “You are mine.” He pinched your cheeks together, making you open your mouth. “That’s what I wrote, stupid whore.” He spitted onto your tongue, it tasted like whiskey and cigar. Then he covered your mouth and your nose, not letting you breathe. “Swallow.”

You did as he said. How couldn’t you?

“Open your mouth, tongue out.” He let go of your mouth, wanted to see your mouth empty. You inhaled in relief, brain too hazy to understand anything. He slapped you again. “Open your fucking mouth.”

“Erwin!” You screamed with pain again.

He laughed and let your hair go, you fell down with the sudden movement. “Your stupid brain can’t understand a word I say, right?” He grabbed you by the neck, lifting your fragile body up. “What are you good for? Oh, right! Being a whore, now I remember.”

You grabbed his forearm, nails digging into his skin. You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything. You tried to push him away but he didn’t budge. The worst part wasn’t him being harsh with you. It was him being calm as usual, never shouting, never talking with clenched teeth. Even his damn expression was calm. His damn eyebrows weren’t furrowed. That scared you.

“Stop,” he said, pushing your hands away with a harsh move. You made his arms bleed a little. He looked at you unimpressed. “You never understand, do you?”

He took you to your shared bedroom, threw you onto the bed. You tried to get away, silly you, where could you go. Your makeup was a mess, mascara running down onto your cheeks as your tears left your eyes, painting your face black. Crying loudly, you screamed once more. “Please! Please don’t!” You tried to stop him. “Daddy please!”

He choked you, again, harsher this time. You held onto his arms, wishing he would let you breathe just once. Slammed your weak body into the mattress, he ripped your panties. “You’re begging me not to do anything, yet you’re soaking like a fucking slut.” Without warning, he pushed his thick middle and ring finger inside you. “See? You take my fingers like a slut too!” Amusement coated his tone. “You either want my fingers or my dick. You just want to be my pocket pussy, right, slut?” He was pounding into you like there was no tomorrow, wet noises filled the room. “Stupid whore.”

Your eyes rolled back. Everything was too much. Too much pleasure, too much pain, too little air. Your brain was shutting down slowly, you couldn’t think straight. You wanted to kiss him, wanted to beg him to fuck you with his huge cock. Wanted him to take you then and there, without preparation. Yet, the only thing you could do was to moan, like a stupid whore. His voice echoed in your brain. You got closer, his fingers curled inside you, finding that pretty spot. It was too much?

“You’re cumming already?” He mocked, his pace quickened. “You won’t. Hold it.”

Your fingernails once again found the little cuts they made previously, digging even harder as the pleasure built up. You were losing consciousness due to the lack of oxygen in your body. You couldn’t do anything. Couldn’t breathe, couldn’t hold your orgasm, couldn’t stop him.

Erwin felt your orgasm before you. He pulled his hands away from you. “Open your legs. Ruin it. Don’t cum.”

You couldn’t.

The pleasure hit you, hit your body like a truck. With the sudden feeling of air coming into your lungs, your legs started trembling. Your whole body clenched, shaking like your vibrator Erwin bought you for your birthday. Your eyes snapped open and you felt something coming out of your cunt, wetting your legs, the bed and Erwin in front of you. You squirted.

“Fuck…” You heard Erwin cursing under his breath. His pants were soaking wet.

“D-Daddy...” You reached out for him, eyes barely functioning after the intense orgasm. “I-I’m sorry, I co-uldn’t hold it… I couldn't ruin it!”

He tsked. “Princess, what have you done?”

Your eyes filled with tears once again. You were slowly regaining your ability to think. “Daddy... I’m sorry…”

He sat next to you, pushed the hair from your face. “Shh, don’t talk…” He cupped your cheeks. “Maybe I was a bit too harsh for you.” He leaned down to kiss your puffy lips. “But you still need to be punished baby.”

Before you could protest, he spanked your clit.

“You were being a whore today.” Spank. “And you were also being a bad girl.” Spank. “You didn’t listen to me.” Spank. “But now,” Spank. “You’ll be cumming from this.”

You did. You didn’t know you could. But you did. And he didn’t stop.

“Daddy! S-Stop! I’ve come already” You tried to close your legs, the pleasure was turning into pain with each slap. “Can’t take it! Daddy I’m cumming!”

“Yes, babygirl,” He whispered. His eyes were locked into your, his pupils had expanded. “You’re cumming again. And you’ll be cumming again. And again. Until I’m done with you.”

“Daddy!”

His spanks became even faster and harder, hitting that sensitive bud throbbing in a mixture of pain and pleasure. When you opened your mouth to moan, he spitted onto your tongue once again. “Don’t swallow. Stick your tongue out, slut,” he said as his other hand caressed your hair. “Let yourself drool like a stupid whore.” His words, his actions… Everything was so complicated. Making you feel even more stupid.

After cumming another four times you were a drooling, dripping mess. You were lost your sight. Everything was spinning, the ceiling, Erwin in front of you, and you. Your breaths were unsteady, you couldn’t even hear your heartbeat because of its speed.

Erwin patted your cheek. “Don’t faint on me now, bitch.”

“D-Daddy…”

He smiled. “Shh, princess. I know.” His hands came down on your face to wipe your tears away. “I’m proud of you.” He kissed your forehead. “Now, I’m going to eat you out, ‘kay? I wanna taste my pretty pocket pussy.”

You squinted your eyes to see him. Your eyes filled with tears once again. Your makeup was already ruined and smudged into the sheets. “Please daddy! I can’t take-”

“Shut up, baby.” He stood up, got between your legs and pulled you towards his face. Erwin loved your pussy so much, he could live in there forever. He inhaled the heavenly scent and licked your slit, drinking everything you offered. “It’s my pussy and I chose to do whatever I want.”

You tried to push him, kick him away. Nothing worked. Erwin Smith, ate your pussy like it was his last day on earth. He ate your cum, drank your juices, sucked on your clit and fucked you with his tongue. His face was sweaty, his perfect hair stuck onto his forehead. His naked chin was now coated with your nectar. He made you cum again, leaving you breathless, sucking your soul out of your body. He made you cum, made you squirt onto his face. He was pussy drunk, couldn’t let you go. Couldn’t stop sucking your clit. He loved the way your legs trembled after each orgasm. He loved the way you screamed “Daddy!” first and when he didn’t stop you screamed “Erwin!”. He loved the way you babble nonsense trying to apologize from him. Stupid slut, he thought. And ate you out until your whole body went numb.

When he was finally done, both of you were panting. You were barely awake, holding onto nothing but trying your best not to lose consciousness. Erwin was tired, tired from eating you out, fingering you and taking your soul away from you. He got up, laid right next to you. He adored this sight; you, completely fucked up and ruined. He did this without putting his cock in you. He was proud.

“Are you with me princess?” He whispered into the night. He was being cautious.

You nodded weakly.

“Good girl,” he said. Kissed your forehead slowly he cupped your cheeks. “Can you give me a color baby?” You were using a color system alongside your safeword. It was for your safety.

“Y-Yellow…” Your voice was hoarse after all the screaming.

He furrowed his brows. He was too harsh on you. “I’m sorry, kitten.” He carefully flipped you onto your side, hugging your back tightly, he kissed your shoulder. “I was too harsh on you. I’m so sorry baby.”

A sob escaped your lips. “But you didn’t cum…”

“It’s okay baby, it’s okay. You’ve done so well. I got pleasure from your pleasure. I'm not important. You are. Your pleasure is. You did so well. So well baby. That’s what is important. I got you now, okay? I’ll never let you go. You’re my everything. I got you. I’ll never leave you.”

You stayed there, tangled together for a long time. Erwin kissed your shoulders, back and hair, his calloused hands caressed your arms. When the extreme pleasure made you clench again, he hugged you tighter, whispering. “Calm down, baby. I got you.” He made sure you were fully okay after your intense session.

“D-Daddy?”

His heart shattered into thousand pieces after hearing that tone in your voice. “You can say my name baby, it’s over now.”

“Erwin,” you said almost hesitantly. “C-Can I go to the bathroom? I need to pee.”

His eyes snapped open. Right, you had to. “Yes baby, let me take you there.” He took you into his arms bridal style. “And we’ll take a bath, I really want to try that lavender bath bomb you bought. Is that okay baby?”

You snuggled into his shirt, it was still wet after your countless orgasms.

After you were done with everything, you were in your marble bathtub with Erwin. A purple color was prominent in the water, making you feel safe. You leaned into his chest filled with little patches of thin gold hair even more. He was your home.

“Erwin?” you asked, melting into his touches.

“Yes, princess?”

“How many times did I cum?” You asked, lifted your head to look at him. You loved that expression. You could see surprise, confusion, calculation and answer in seconds.

“Thirty..” he furrowed his thick brows, he was counting. “Thirty-nine.” Then he realized what he said. His eyes opened up with amazement. “Oh.”

“Yeah..” you said, a chuckle left your chest.

“We broke our record!”

taggings: @maries-gallery @st-arlert (you have to read this baby, no escapes) @azazelles

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

[bastardworthliking]

sparkofgoodness​: 

“It would befit me better if we weren’t down here to begin with,” Crowley grouses, pressing a hand to the hard-packed dirt of the cellar ceiling and crouching under it and into–more tunnel. He aims a kick at the wall before thinking better of it.* “Heaven take this blasted underground cave system! Root cellar! Root cellar on an ego trip, more like. The sunglasses are fine, I can see where I’m–” 

He trips and falls with an undignified screech. His sunglasses do the wise thing and make a break for freedom while he picks himself up from the dirt. He holds up a dusty hand, frowning at the dirt in his nailbeds. Yellow eyes narrow in warning. “Not a word.” 

He’s chipped a nail. He glowers at it and stalks onward, blessing under his breath. 

“Yes, raise the roof. There’s an idea. Not like those farmers up there aren’t depending on the ground soil to stay exactly as it is to feed their crops, which they survive on. No, I don’t think they’ll notice when the tubers come up short in a few months given that all the soil’s been shafted three inches closer to G- to man upstairs and given them less leg room just so we don’t smash our skulls in looking for their bloody ghost!”

He wishes the tunnel were made of anything but hard-packed earth. It just swallows his shout instead of having the grace to echo it back. Perfect. They might discorporate down here and there weren’t even any good acoustics to play them out. 

 His anger goes out of him like a snuffed candle. He stares glumly into the growing tunnel ahead of them, and if he turns his head, he can look back at the growing tunnel behind them. Nothing else in here but him and Aziraphale and thousands of pounds of solid earth. 

He doesn’t need to breathe, but he misses the air all the same. The air and the open space and light from the moon and all the stars. Anything that isn’t this tightly packed little space deep underground that feels discomfittingly the closest he’s been to Hell since he clawed his way back out after Edinburgh. But why not discuss human burial practices. What better topic of conversation than all the ways humans liked to care for themselves after they go. 

“You’d be surprised,” Crowley starts and then stops. His heart’s just not in it. “Listen,” he says instead, taking the angel by the arm to move him–her? he should ask–forward so they’re not just standing around doing bugger all. “If you can find this ghost I’ll get you an Easy Bake™ oven in every color of the rainbow, just let’s get a move on.” 

*The whole thing might collapse on them, and even if they survived it, his shoes certainly wouldn’t. Women’s shoes in 1960s America just weren’t built for impromptu spelunking, and more’s the pity. 

He has opened his mouth to say alright, and he closes it promptly with an audible clack. Crowley said not a word. He won’t say a word. He really won’t. 

Aziraphale keeps that up for about two minutes, and each of those minutes is properly excruciating. 

“At least let me -” he moves up and closes his fingers around Crowley’s wrist, pulling it in to see. He can feel the broken nail from feet away, and he waves the other hand over it. It fixes with a little pop, as if it was never broken at all. “Seeing as it’s my fault we’re down here.” 

It’s as close to an apology as he’s going to get until the moment they find out whether there’s a ghost in here or not. 

“I’m not going to smash my skull,” he says, voice softer than Crowley’s is, ears ringing from the shout, “because I’m willing it not to smash, and I’m three inches shorter than you.” 

He has discovered, over his years on earth, that most people who look like or are man would be upset about this. There’s an entire bit about being tallest, like a competition, but he finds he likes looking up, just a little.* 

“Would you find it easier to -” he moves his hand, sort of like a snake. “I know it’s cold down here, but you needn’t worry about smashing your head, unless you were to start coiling.” 

He grimaces, and brushes dirt off of his hair. If he were able to be a snake, he might have been by now. It’s not very pleasant, though he doesn’t mind the company. It’s dark, and it’s damp, and at least five times a root has touched him that has felt suspiciously like a hand. When they got down here, his hair was soft, and curly, and now it’s a mess. You can only will so many things to be true a once. 

“I wouldn’t be.” He looks down, surprised, at the actual hand on his wrist. The surprise blooms quickly into delight. “Even the ones the shrimps see? I can’t sense anything around us. Evil or good or benign. Or shrimp. I think we’ve got to go further. I imagine it’s somewhere closer to the center of the property.” 

* It’s an analogy, certainly, if you’d like it to be. 

‘  the problem is if there’s something that attacks us down here, i’m going to hit my head on the ceiling and my skull will smash.  ’

"your skull won't smash. you'll ... will it not to smash!"

they would get their heads smashed in in america, wouldn't they? it's not the first time they've been in a cellar, and he refuses to tell crowley he's right. on principle alone.

"the dresses aren't ideal, i'll admit." they don't have the same capacity for crouching that pants do. "nothing will attack us down here. you have my angelic presence to keep us safe." *

*arguably worse, if the thing crowley is imagining to attack the two of them would be attracted to an angelic presence.

[oonajaeadira]

If You Will Let My Heaven Touch Your Stars (Ezra x f!reader)

Rating: Mature. 

Pairing: Ezra (Prospect film) x f!reader

Warnings: FLUFFY SMUT. INSPIRED BY THIS. Non-explicit oral (m and f receiving). Formatting may be strange in certain Tumblr themes due to paragraph spacing with the poetry.

A/N: Okay, y’all. I was looking for another reason to write some Ezra. I got inspired by this naughty confessional post and felt the need to rise to the challenge, but make it a bit soft. You know I’m allergic to writing physical doings without some emotional yearnings. So it has come to this. And I’m not sorry.

Summary: Ezra runs his mouth over some poetry. You run your mouth over some Ezra.

TAGLIST: you can always request to be on the taglist for this or any of my work. If you’d like to be on taglists for upcoming fic, please sign up here –> TAGLIST

MASTERLIST

_______________________________

You know that sigh. It will be shortly followed by a gravelly, dissatisfied “hm.”

“Hm.” 

Next will come the impatient flipping of pages as Ezra learns that the book he’s chosen from the stack he got in trade on the Pug is…”less than literary and more than malignant.”

“What’cha reading, Ez.” The main node on the electropulse generator blew during the last harvest and you’ve been doing your best to repair it for the better part of the scaling period. Better to keep eyes on the electrics than let them wander over to his bedroll where he’s stripped to his skivvies, propped up against a crate, reading.

The rotation of Ranakh-4 is almost sixty hours, and in the north hemisphere there’s always light. Should be perfect for prospectors to take shifts and get things done, but instead, it creates a scaling period--a good fifteen-hour window of intense heat and sunlight that’s too dangerous to be exposed to for long, causing lots of nasty side effects. Including skin scaling. Hence the name. So during that period you and Ezra hide in the cooled tent, sleeping, polishing gems, maintaining equipment, wasting time, and generally trying not to annoy each other too much.

That’s a joke between you. In the years you’ve known him, Ez has yet to get under your skin. Ezra’s usually up for a game of dice or five-stand during scaling period, and if you’ve got gear to clean or inventory to count, he’s good for a story. Or ten.

But after the third rotation he stopped playing games of chance with you and his stories got gradually less... crusty. He still had a lot to say, but he stuck mostly to mining anecdotes, weaving around salacious details and editing himself in the moment.

And you’re pretty sure you know why.

This isn’t the first posting you’ve had with Ezra.

There was the assignment on Phintreas. The job on TG-19. The second assignment on Phintreas--that one it was just the two of you. Just like this one. 

There was a moment near the end of that run when you took a break from digging to stretch, arching your back in the dappled sunlight and pulling your arms up and back toward the thick foliage tops. There were singing insectoid creatures on Phintreas and you’d dropped your wrists to your head to listen to their song a little, closing your eyes and hearing in their hum the chords of a song you used to love.

It was just a few seconds, the warm air on your bare shoulders, the long thin trees--actually large grass--rising and swaying above. A pleasant stretch in your lower back. But there was something off. Your ears were full of insect song but there was something missing. 

The sound of Ezra’s digging had stopped.

You turned to find him taking a break, leaning on his shovel, jumpsuit open and pulled down to a knot at his waist like yours. Dirt-streaked arms and undershirt, looking at you, staring with sad eyes, the long slopes of his mustache running into his patchy beard making him look like he was pouting more than he was. Probably. Totally lost in thought, his eyes slid down your torso. When he woke to the fact that you caught him using you as a backdrop for reverie, he didn’t even have the balls to be embarrassed. Just realigned his focus on his shovel and went back to digging, the veins straining out on his big hands.

“You okay, Ez?”

“As well as one can be, sweetheart. I feel we’re close. It is a fine day full of wonderments.”

You’d thought about that look in the days afterward. Didn’t really know what it meant for you. Until the final sleep cycle on that grass planet, the wind traveling through the fields making the grasses sing hollow and low in the night. 

“What’cha reading, Ez?” You’d come to learn that it was a magic question, one that not only got you an explanation, but perhaps a chapter or two in his baritone twang.

And that night, as you packed your final bag, he swung the spine around to read out, “Papas Cordel, Love Verses.”

He didn’t ask you if you wanted to hear any. He just started to read.

Softly. Slowly. The words were innocuous on their own but their combination was sinful, his voice melting at the back of your brain, lifting the fine hairs of your neck, slithering down your spine before making an orbit to press upon your core and vibrate there. 

He never said goodnight. Just read you a few poems full of worship and yearning in that sonorous voice of his, then rolled over and went to sleep. It left you in a panic, trying to control your breathing, in full understanding of what that look from a few days ago had really meant.

And for the duration of your next couple of jobs you spent some time in regret, wishing you’d decoded your feelings sooner or that he’d made his own clearer. You’d vowed that if you ever had the chance to go back and live that night again you wouldn’t hesitate to….what? To do what? You never got that far. Didn’t matter. Time doesn’t go backwards. After a while, it was easy enough to convince yourself that you’d just read too much into it, that you didn’t really feel anything and neither did Ez. He had just been tired and staring into space that day. And he’d just been aesthetically moved by the song of the grasses in the night wind. It was a trick of the light, and the more you rationalized it, the further the memory slipped into the realm of silly fantasy.

So when this assignment came, you’d had time enough to leave the fantasy behind and met Ezra as you always had--as a friend and a damn talented prospector you were happy to dig with. The man always got his haul and getting paired with him always meant profit.

It only took one scaling period to make you realize you were lying to yourself. 

Scaling period means getting somewhere shaded and cooled and making yourself as comfortable as possible. Which means stripping down to essentials. All those dice games trying not to look at Ezra’s broad, bared chest, looking up from a hand of cards to find his eyes quickly darting away from you…. By the third rotation you’d noticed that neither of you could make eye contact with the other anymore and after that, Ezra generally spent his downtime during scaling periods laying on his bedroll in his skivvs, reading one of the dozen books he’d scavenged back on the station.

You weren’t sure if you were flattered or embarrassed or even injured that he wouldn’t move on whatever he was tense about. But, ultimately, this arrangement was easier.

Or so you lied to yourself.

A “what’cha reading, Ez” got you a few chapters of an old time-travel adventure or a philosophical treatise on the life of some forgotten pioneer while you mended a garment or recounted the supply of viable drill bits or tried to fix the damn faulty electropulse generator for the millionth time. Something rollicking and full of resonance to keep your ears busy and your mind distracted while you focused your eyes on anything but Ezra’s bronze skin and sable eyes and full lips and big hands and thick thighs and--

This time he clicks his tongue and runs a hand through his hair, humming a high note in a kind of frustrated laugh. “I won’t devastate your ears on this one, sweetheart. Not much of interest here but some poor soul ruttin’ and scraping for talent that eludes them. How this found its way into a thing to be bought and sold I will never understand.”

And yet, he keeps reading. Silently.

After a few minutes and another wire successfully cleaned and reconnected, you repeat yourself, taunting him.

“What’cha reading, Ez.”

“Mm.” He just flips through a few more pages, refusing to answer.

“Hey.” You chuckle into your work. “What’cha reading.” 

You hear a huge intake of breath before a hold and a forced release.

“Wow,” you laugh. “Fine. Don’t waste breath on it. Just tell me which one it is so I can avoid it later.”

“Love and other Stars by Aeon Aido Raja.”

“I see. What’s it about?”

“Sadly, it is about a poet who cannot seem to make the match between words and sentiment; a volume of supposed amorous verse.”

“Amorous verse,” your hands stop working on their own. “Love...poetry?” There’s a sudden flashback to the sound of hollow reeds and soothing verses in the night. The words are a program in your brain, overwriting your inhibition and professionalism, pushing you to a deeply-coded goal to calm the flutter in your chest.

“So it claims. Although I fear it lacks full understanding of both--” His voice cuts out as he realizes you’ve stood and you’re moving toward him and his wide eyes lock to yours as you sit beside him on the bedroll. “Now what has gotten into you, sweetheart?”

You know exactly what’s gotten into you. The triggered wish of returning to that night, the built-up tension of dancing around each other in your underwear, trying to deny what’s going on, watching him purposefully respect you when you know he feels something, when he knows you do too--

What was it you were going to do if you had a chance to go back to that last night on the grass planet? Time to find out.

“Read to me.”

Ezra hesitates, unsure. “This?”

“Read it.”

His eyes flick down to follow the quick fold of your lips as you wet them with your tongue, unconsciously mimicking you, before fumbling his gaze back to the book and, with a regretful sigh, begins.

“I have never told you When your lips found my own I have never told you My dearest--

“Walking through the light of a moon in decline-- Can you blame me if I steal your kiss? If I call you to my side before it collides with the ground?”

When he looks for your reaction, you’re not sure if he’s pleading with you for permission to stop or continue.

Shit. He’s right. It isn’t great. But you’re here now, you’re going to make the most of it.

“That’s not...so bad.” And then you find out what you would have done that night--or at least how you’d start--by showing him your raised palm, lowering it slowly toward him. “Tell me if you want me to stop.” Your hand travels down through the air, just to the inch above his skivvs, waiting a moment in the aura of radiated heat there, before settling lightly over him. He never says no, never takes his eyes from yours, the only reaction coming from a small lift in his chest, the corner of his mouth curling just a fraction, and the fabric beneath your hand quickly becoming the only thing there to qualify as soft.

“Sweetheart, what you’re beginning here--”

“The only words I want from you are that poem. I want to hear you read. You stop, I stop.”

The heat hangs heavy between you, burns beneath your hand. And with a huffed exhale, Ezra starts again.

“I have never told you When your lips found my own I have never told you My dearest--

“Walking through the light of a moon in decline-- Can you blame me if I steal your kiss? If I call you to my side before it collides with the ground?”

Supporting him from underneath, you’ve begun running your thumb up and down him, and his breath hitches, bringing him to a stop. So you stop.

“You stop, I stop, Ez.”

“Believe me, gentle one, I do not wish the impediment of your affections--”

“Then don’t stop.”

In a beautiful panic, Ezra looks back to the poem. “You sure you want this one?”

You nod. “I don’t care how good it is. That’s the poem I want. Keep going. I've always liked your voice. I know you can make it pretty.”

He stares at the page a moment, and you push him--literally--gasping into a start.

“If ever I could tell you When my heaven touched your stars If ever I could tell you Beloved--”

You stop palming him when he stops to breathe, and it’s only when you trace his waistband with your fingertips that he swallows and continues, willing you to keep going--

“Waking in the night to the aching void of your embrace-- Can you forgive me if I plead your name? If I summon you to my body from wherever you are?”

Whether it’s the want in his voice or just getting further into the words, the poem is already getting better. His eyebrows begin to push together and arch, as you stretch the top of his underwear down, wrapping your hand around him. His words start riding the occasional groan which just resonate with you more and you rock yourself against the bedroll in time with your gentle, yearning pulls--

“You hold me adroitly With accurate proximity To keep your breath and my breath Two founts and one pool. To swim a in star-reflective stream of our holy recreation--”

He’s doing so well, the words wandering out deep and breathy, so beautifully controlled...until you lower your mouth to him.

Then there’s a strangled staccato grunt as he adjusts, takes a couple of quick breaths and continues--

“But your body is a.....wildfire Your lips a destruction And I give my everything over to your….cleansing devastation.”

Oh, his struggle is glorious. You can feel him trying not to buck, needing to blow out a breath between pursed lips here and there to concentrate on the print. He reads with intent, leaning into context and feeling, making a gift to you of every word.

“I have yearned for you to find me worthy of a spark An ignition... The rebirth of your combustible attentions.”

He pauses again to breathe, and while you allow him a small reprieve, he’s stopped a little too long and you abruptly halt. When you pull back to look up in reprimand, he gives you a soft smile through his panting, shaking his head in wonder. You know he’ll have plenty of praises when this is over, but he doesn’t seem to want to break the spell to say them now. When you return his little smile, he looks back to the page and continues, prompting you to return to your own administrations.

“How you draw from me each sweet effusion-- Every secret vein untapped-- Now yours in expert execution, Now open to your burning maw.”

He pushes through the poetry rather than into you, allowing you to hear him and match him. Your body begins to counter-react as you feel him brimming, turning on more need in you than you’ve felt in a while, and you show him just how well he’s doing by doing well by him. 

There’s a shift in his voice as more breath enters in and nonverbal noises begin to punctuate the words; a shift in his body as his fingers tangle in your hair and grip tightly, suggesting a final rhythm-- 

“But within the fire An aperture of...divine precipitation Where those of us who live untouched Can go to drown To die To howl…..! To see the blessed face of eternity Or the….busting open….of a thousand….wretched….stars-- You-call-me-to-sinful-prayer You-invoke-my-abject-soul I find myself in debt…!...and thrall…!... to your superior…!...divinity--”

When he stops reading this round, you show mercy as he pounds his fist into the bedroll and makes his own additions to the poem, exclamations made up of your name and curses and calls to higher powers. You can only expect a man to expel from himself wondrously one method at a time, and Ezra’s earned his reward so beautifully.

Damn his opinion. The poem was perfect. You chose correctly. Either that, or Ez’s tongue really can spin any old refuse into gold.

But the book is still held high, and as you lift from him and guide him through his aftershocks with your hand, he breathes heavy though the final verse--

“This is how I love you from afar With agony and forlorn words While you hover forever in my purview A shaft of dazzling incandescence Shining down from your sun/star Through the glass of my desire Starts and restarts an everlasting blaze”

Then, setting the book reverently on the bedroll, he takes your face in his hands, dragging his thumbs across your lips, no longer needing the page for the last lines.

“If ever I could tell you And if you will let my heaven touch your stars If ever I could tell you Beloved--”

Ezra’s kiss is achingly grateful. He tries to put into one kiss the loving equivalent of everything you’ve just done for him.

When he pulls back, he gives you the tiniest rough shake, a punctuation of his playful consternation. “Mmm,” he grunts. “While I am glad to know you find my recitals pleasing, you’re about to find out that my talent for oral ministrations do not stop at mere recitation.” With a miner’s strong arms he flips you over him onto the bedroll, making short work of your underwear and pinning your legs around his shoulders in a matter of seconds. “Now, I will not be so cruel as to make you put words to my reciprocation, unless you’d like to fill the silence to direct me to your will. Or say what you please. I will not be able to add to the conversation as I will be otherwise occupied.”

You don’t know if it’s years of running his mouth or wagging his tongue or yapping his jaw, but he’s well practiced in using allllll the muscles therein to help finish what poetry couldn’t quite accomplish.

At one point you think of surprising him and trying your own hand at reading while being entertained. But when you fumble for the book, it opens to the same poem.

But not the same poem.

The opening lines are there: “I have never told you When your lips found my own I have never told you My dearest--Walking through the light of a moon in decline--Can you blame me if I steal your kiss? If I call you to my side before it collides with the ground?”

And that’s it.

That’s where it ends. The whole published poem--a mere seven lines.

Oh, Kevva. That’s...that means….

Damn, Ezra. The mouth on you.

The book drops to the bedroll.

And you break into pieces as his heaven masterfully consumes your stars.

________________

TAGLIST: you can always request to be on the taglist for this or any of my work. If you’d like to be on taglists for upcoming fic, please sign up here –> TAGLIST

Taglist: @melobee @extraterrestrialdork @14mcmd1122 @grogusmum @cannedsoupsucks

[rafescoke]

Crime ; Rafe Cameron

masterlist

Part #1

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Reader would do anything for the boy she loves from a summer ago.

Warnings: Story takes place at the start of season 2 (and some flashbacks from season 1), swearing, angst, death penalty, gaslighting, reader just needing help

A/N: i don’t think this is my best work at all :( but i’ll post the part 2 straight away!! didn’t know tumblr has a word limit now wtf

p.s; tell me what do you think of this fic!!

(Y/N) had begged for somewhere else to spend the Summer. She couldn’t go back to that place, not when there were too many memories that awaited her. No one seemed to listen to her, and her father continued to check something online.

“Rafe Cameron.”

“(Y/N),” she had smiled, and she thought about how gorgeous a boy could be. This man before her; with his hair messily parted and that goddamn blue eyes had her holding her breath, and she wasn’t in her usual demeanour.

“You come down here often?” Rafe asked, raising his eyebrows. (Y/N) watched as he chugged on his beer, and gave her another sly smile again.

“Um, not really. This is my first summer here.”

“That’s nice,” he shrugged, “Welcome to Obx.”

“Thanks,” she nodded, liking how Obx already is. She made a mental note to tell her friends back home about this island, and most importantly; Rafe Cameron.

“Do you wanna take a walk?”

(Y/N) never really accepted any boy’s invitation for a walk, because all the boys in the city never had good intentions with her. She never dated anyone, never bothered to do so.

“Sure,” she smiled, and walked alongside the dirty-blonde boy to the far end of the beach. He sucked in a breath, glancing at her from the corners of his eyes, and laughed.

“You look nervous.”

“You could be a mass murderer.”

“Isn’t that just the perfect person to spend the summer with?”

(Y/N) looked up at him, the moonlight from the sky illuminating his features. God, he really is beautiful. “I guess.”

“So would that be a problem if I killed someone before?”

(Y/N) laughed easily at the joke, bumping her arms against his. She felt a jolt from the touch, and swallowed her saliva. “No.”

Rafe chuckled, “Yeah. That’s more like it.”

(Y/N) had thought of that moment as nothing but a joke. A playful joke, meaning to flirt with her. The next few weeks were spent with only them two, sometimes in his house or (Y/N)’s stay. They were inseparable; always attached by the hips morning and night, and (Y/N) knew about all of his problems.

“Try it.”

“What? Coke?” She asked, bewildered. She looked down to the table, her hands fidgeting, and she quickly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked up to Rafe again, “I don’t know how.”

“Come on, I’ll show you,” he smiled, pulling her by her wrist and seated her beside him. She felt the jolt again, but she had gotten better at ignoring it.

Rafe lowered his hand, a finger placed on his left nostril, and snorted the line of white powder. He grunted, throwing his head back, and after a few seconds, he gave her a smirk.

“Your turn.”

(Y/N) smiled back, reaching for the rolled up bill before lowering his head to the last line. She took a deep breath, still so shaky, and snorted the powder before she could change her mind.

Her heartbeat quickened, and her mind was all over the place. She could feel her forehead getting clammy, and before she could do anything, Rafe cupped her face in his large hands.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” he expressed, looking straight into her eyes. (Y/N) didn’t realise she was starting to cry, and stared back into his eyes.

“You’re so pretty,” he said suddenly, rubbing comforting circles on her temples. (Y/N) relaxed under his touch, “Such a pretty girl.”

“I thought you’re friends with that Cameron boy,” her father suddenly said, shaking her out of her memories. (Y/N) closed her eyes, trying to push away the thoughts, and gave her father a grimace.

“So? I don’t want to see him.”

“What happened between you two? You used to ask me to move to Obx,” her father laughed, still clicking on the mouse to the laptop.

“People change, dad,” she muttered, and made her way back to her bedroom to be alone with her thoughts.

“Rafe! You don’t have to do this,” (Y/N) gasped, her hands around her mouth. She looked around the gazebo by the lake, her eyes brightening against the beautiful fairy lights and veins decorating the railings.

“It’s your last week here,” he shrugged, helping her to her seat before sitting for himself. He pointed to the food displayed before then, “Steak. Your favourite.”

“You are amazing,” she expressed, her eyes suddenly glassy. The lake never looked so calming, and (Y/N) wished she could capture this exact moment in her head.

“Just thought you should see the other side of Rafe Cameron,” he shrugged, his lips forming into a smile. “I’m glad you came down here to Obx.”

“Me too,” she breathed, and went for the food. “I’m so glad to have met you.”

“Yeah?” He chuckled, cutting his steak into small pieces before biting into one. “Didn’t you called me a mass murderer the first time we met?”

“It was a joke,” she rolled her eyes, “But I’ll still like you even if you are.”

She didn’t know the truth behind her words.

“You will?” He looked up to her, grinning. “And just like?”

“Just like. What are you playing at, Rafe?” She faked groan, putting her cutleries down and clasping her hand together. “What? You’re going to propose to me or something?”

Everything happened so fast; Rafe chuckled, awkwardly running his fingers through his fair, messing with his slicked back hair. She liked this messy hair better, but she liked anything about Rafe Cameron, messy hair or not.

“No.”

Rafe held out the tiny velvet box in his hands, and (Y/N) never saw a prettier smile than his.

“No,” she repeated, her breathing heavy. She was too shocked by this, only meaning the proposal part of her speech as a joke, and looked into his sincere eyes again.

“I’m not proposing to you,” he laughed, getting down to one knee and opening the box to a beautiful diamond ring. (Y/N) sucked in a breath, mesmerised. “I will though, in the future.”

“Oh my god, Rafe, I can’t accept this,” she gasped, watching as the diamond glinted under the bright light. “You’re too much.”

“It’s a promise ring,” he smiled, “And a proposal to ask you to become my girlfriend.”

He sucked in a breath, and (Y/N) swore her heart stopped. She never thought of herself worthy as these kind of moments, but here she was; all teary eyed, her hand against her heart to calm her crazy heartbeat.

“Will you be my girlfriend, (Y/N)?”

She laughed, wiping the tears that had rolled down to her cheeks, and cupped his face into her hands. “You’re so fucking dumb. Of course I will, asshole, without this whole dinner thing. You could ask me while we’re in the swimming pool and I’ll say yes.”

Rafe laughed, melting into her hands, before taking out the ring he had saved up for (by not buying anymore coke) and asking for her permission to slide it over her ring finger.

(Y/N) nodded, holding her breath, and the diamond ring slid to her finger, and she gasped at how pretty it looked. She wondered about how much it had cost Rafe to buy the ring for her, but pushed the thought away when Rafe tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“We haven’t even kissed yet.”

(Y/N) laughed, “I told you you’re too fast, Rafe.”

Rafe smiled, inching closer to her, and (Y/N) just instantly stopped thinking. He was so beautiful, so angelic, and she wished she could stay at Obx forever.

“I love you, (Y/L/N).”

“Rafe,” she expressed, placing her forehead against his, “I love you too, okay?”

(Y/N) groaned, deepening her face against the soft pillow. She felt like screaming, but she didn’t have the energy to do so.

She would do anything for Rafe, and the next few days after that proposal went too fast that she felt like God was being unfair to her. He made her feel so good, and no one had made her feel the way he made her feel.

She felt like she was in heaven.

Until that one, certain Friday; the day before she went back to New York.

“Rafe, please,” she cried, pulling him by shirt as he pointed the gun at the sheriff, his eyes flaring up in anger. “Rafe, it doesn’t have to be this way.”

She looked at Ward, who looked afraid as well, and sucked in a breath. “You told me-”

“Shut up!” He grunted, his own fingers trembling on the trigger. “Fuck! Shut up.”

She didn’t know what to do. Sarah was looking at her for help, but she had tried her best to console him. She tried to reach for him again, to which he quickly pushed her away.

“Do that again, and I’ll kill you next.”

“Rafe-”

“Shut up!” He yelled again, and before she could do anything the pulled on the trigger, and the sheriff fell to the ground with widened eyes.

“Hey.”

(Y/N) jolted from her position at the knock, and groaned when her mother came in. She scooted away, giving her some space on the bed, and laid with her face planted against the pillow again.

“You never told us about what happened with you and Rafe,” she sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.”

“Okay, so why don’t you want to go to Obx for the summer?”

“I want new boyfriends.”

Her mother laughed, “Okay. Then find new boyfriends in Obx. The blonde boy who helped us carry our bags the first time we arrived there can be one.”

“JJ?”

“He’s always around the island too, helping people for money,” she shrugged, “That’s a good kid. Doing honest work for honest money.”

“I’m not actually looking for a boyfriend, mom,” she rolled her eyes. “It was a figure of speech.”

“Well,” she stood up, “You better be looking for one. We’re spending the summer in Obx, and that’s final.”

. . .

(Y/N) rubbed her eyes against the glowing sunlight of North Carolina, her body screaming with pain from hours of sitting in the same position. She heard the pilot said something, her mind still woozy from only being caffeinated, and placed her head against the seat again.

“It’s a bright day, like it’s waiting for us,” her mother exclaimed, fixing her sunglasses before walking down the stairs to the road. (Y/N) groaned, still so tired, and she wished for nothing but to stay in her room with Netflix to watch.

“Hey, Mr (Y/L/N),” JJ smiled, and (Y/N) noticed the fake exterior he was trying to portray. “Come down here for another summer again?”

Her mother, who admired JJ’s ‘honest work’ gushed out to beside him, asking about his school and his works. (Y/N) rolled her eyes, not interested in making any new conversation, and she looked back at the area where the incident took place.

JJ caught her looking, and when her parents and the little brother had entered the car, he went to her to help her with her bags.

He crouched down, wrapping his fingers around the handle, and quickly whispered. “You saw, right?”

“Huh?”

“What Rafe did.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she muttered, and went into the car before he could say anything else.

God. Just how she expected her first moments after arriving in Obx.

“Hey! Welcome back!”

“You called the Camerons?” She groaned, looking at her father for some kind of useless explanation. After the brief conversation with JJ, she wanted nothing that could remind her of Rafe and hoped she could stay in her room for the whole 2 months.

“(Y/N), wait-”

She barged into her room for 2 months, noticing the old posters she had put up the year before, and thought about how happy she was at that time. She felt nothing now, and she couldn’t wait until the end of summer.

“Fuck!” She yelled, her head feeling so light, and placed herself before the naked bed. She sighed, trying to calm herself down, and thought of the ways to ignore the certain boy a few miles away.

Maybe he’s in college.

Maybe he’s going to leave her alone.

Maybe he has found someone new.

She felt a tug at the thought of the last sentence, and she couldn’t explain why she would even be devastated over him finding a new girl. That’s good, she guessed, at least she doesn’t have to think about staying away from him again.

Maybe she should spend her time with the pogues; JJ’s friends. They looked fun to hang with.

“Hey, (Y/N).”

“I’m not in the mood,” she grunted, shielding her eyes from the sunlight. “What do you want?”

“Can we go to the beach?”

“The beach?” She huffed, “We just arrived. Shouldn’t you clean your room or something?”

“Okay. But can you bring me to the beach after I’m done?”

“I’ll think about it,” she expressed, but after a few hours of sweeping and mopping the dusty room, placing the new bedsheet over the mattress and taking down her old posters, all she wanted to do was get out for some fresh air. She had slept most of her time in the plane so she wasn’t feeling like taking a nap at all, and she guessed it would be appropriate to bring her little brother to the beach.

She walked to her room, her hands around her waist. “Hey, you’re- where the fuck did you get that?”

“What?” He asked, raising the frame with his sister’s arms around Rafe, smiling happily at the camera. “This? Isn’t he your boyfriend?”

“Throw that away!” she yelled, “I said throw that away!”

“Okay, okay,” he groaned, throwing the frame into the big plastic bag before dusting the dust off of him. “Can we go to the beach now?”

“You’re an asshole, do you know that?” She huffed, watching as he changed into his swimming shorts, “And we’ve been cleaning for 3 hours. You’re not half done yet.”

“Whatever,” he said, and closed the door. “Just wait for me downstairs.”

The ride to the beach didn’t take long, and (Y/N) actually felt peaceful riding the bicycle and letting the breeze hit her square on the face. She had laughed at a stupid joke by her little brother, and she thought about how she could do this for the next 2 months.

“I wanna learn how to surf,” he said, letting the water soaked his feet and dumped his feet into the sand. “Do you?”

“You’ll forget how to when we’re back in New York,” she mumbled, gazing at the sky, “Also your body’s too weak to fight the waves.”

“No, it’s not,” he argued, “What are you going to do for the summer, (Y/N)? Are you going to be with that-”

“No,” she quickly said, curling her toes at the feeling of the water soaking her feet. “I’m not going to be with anyone.”

“Isn’t that your friend?”

“Ha-ha, nice joke,” she laughed falsely, still closing her eyes against the bright sky. “Who’s the friend? Is it Rafe?”

“Hey.”

(Y/N) sat up straight, her heart beating wildly, and what greeted her sight sent shivers down to her spine, and she quickly clutched onto her little brother’s wrist before pulling him away.

“Ow! What are you doing? (Y/N), let me go!” Lucas groaned, looking back at the boy who wanted nothing but to talk to his sister. “Rafe, help!”

“Shut up, you bitch,” she groaned, still pulling on his wrist. She knew about the possibility of leaving a claw mark on his skin, but she wanted nothing to do with the boy.

“Help me, Rafe! She’s going to kill me!”

“I said shut up!” She yelled, her chest heaving now, and she didn’t care about her hair that was hanging loosely from her hairclaw.

She didn’t know if Rafe was chasing after her, and she didn’t dare to look back.

“Ride your bike home,” she fumbled with the handle, “Now. Please, now!”

“Okay,” Lucas groaned, “What’s wrong with you? It’s just Rafe.”

“Go!” She yelled, already set to cycle back home, with her clothes all wet and sticking against her skin. She couldn’t breathe, and she hated the sight of him. She cycled back home hurriedly, tears streaming down her face, and she wished she had stayed home.

The night after the day on the beach she didn’t bother to come down for dinner, only staying in her room and browsing through Netflix. She didn’t feel like doing anything, and she hated how quick her mood was ruined.

She didn’t think about seeing him that quickly, especially after just arriving on the island that morning. This was exactly the problem; she couldn’t face him, not after what he did, but she couldn’t bring herself to turn him to the authorities. She was pushing him away, but at the same time protecting him.

The next morning, she felt shittier than ever. Being in the small island, where everywhere she goes could remind her back to Rafe, she decided to stay in bed and browse through more movies, only going downstairs for a glass of water before going back to her room. She was glad Lucas and her parents were enjoying most of their time here in Obx, and she would do the same if it weren’t for what happened last year.

She was scared. She was mad at herself too, because she couldn’t bring herself to tell anyone about what she saw. As much as she hated him now, a part of her still loved him.

“(Y/N)! Wait!”

“Get the fuck away from me!” She yelled, her eyes red and her cheeks wet. “You’re a fucking psycho.”

“No, no, baby, please-”

“Don’t call me baby, I swear to fucking god!” She yelled again, getting into the car and watched as Rafe desperately banged against the car window, pleading for her to hear him.

“It’s not what you think-”

(Y/N) cried, her head painful, and slowly slid the diamond ring from her finger before lowering the window by a slit and throwing it outside. Rafe watched the ring roll away but didn’t care to fetch it, only trying to speak to her through the tiny slit.

“I had to do it, please,” he begged, “Please. Baby. I can’t do this-”

“Go to hell,” she hissed, and sped away.

That was the last time she had ever seen Rafe, and she knew he tried to contact her with different phone numbers every day, but she had blocked every single number. The trouble stopped after a while, and (Y/N) realised how much she had been missing him.

Who could she confront about this?

Who could she tell?

She couldn’t. She loved him too much.

A week after settling in their summer home, (Y/N) was tired of all the screaming and nudging by her mother for her to get out of the house, and ‘get a life’. She didn’t feel like having a whole summer of just hanging out at the beach, not when the last time she had went there and bumped onto Rafe, so she decided to keep her distance off Figure 8 and made her way to the other side of the island.

She had only been there twice with Rafe before, to pick up something at Barry’s (he told her not to worry about it), so she never really quite get used to the road around here.

She stopped the jeep by the side of the road, glancing at the signboard and the road behind her. Did she go too far? Or was this just the wrong way?

She rested her back against the car door, already tired, and decided to just wait until she was good enough to drive home.

It was half an hour later when she heard the roaring of a motorcycle, and she quickly got to her feet, her chest suddenly heaving.

“Yo? You’re okay?”

“Huh?” She fixed her hair, “Um- yeah. Just resting.”

JJ nodded, “You should turn off your engine. You don’t want to-”

Just right on cue, the engine stopped completely and (Y/N) groaned, getting into the car to turn the engine again. It made some noise, until silence fell between them.

“That’s what I’m saying,” JJ said, “Where are you heading to?”

“Oh, nowhere in particular,” she sighed, getting out of the jeep and shutting the door angrily. Good. Just like how she wanted her day to be.

“Let me send you back home,” he offered, pointing to the black ride behind the jeep. She shook her head, her mouth forming into a tight smile.

“That’s alright, I can-”

“Walk back home? Come on, you’re far from Figure 8, and you’re 50 minutes away from The Cut on foot.”

She didn’t exactly wish for this, but it would help.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, helping her up to the motorcycle and placing her hands on his shoulders for some balance.

“You’ve never ridden a bike before?” JJ asked, half-amused. “No, no, because you look nervous.”

“I’ve just never ridden a bike with you driving,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Can you send me to the taxi stop or anything?”

“Really? Why can’t I just drive you home?”

She groaned, “Just send me to the taxi port, Maybank.”

He laughed, putting his helmet on, and (Y/N) placed her hands against her ears at the loud sound of the engine.

(Y/N) hate to admit it; but the ride to The Cut was the most thrilling thing that she had ever felt in months. She felt a smile slowly forming onto her face, and JJ swore he could see it too from the side mirror, and when they finally stopped at the taxi port, she was so happy she felt like buying a bike for herself.

“Thanks for the ride,” she said. “Minus one point for no helmet.”

“I didn’t know I would see you laying by the side of the road,” he rolled his eyes, a hint of teasing in his tone. “But where’s the fun when you’re all safe?”

She hummed in response, “I’ll see you around then.”

“So you’re just going to get an expensive ride back to Figure 8? Why wouldn’t you let me send you off?”

She knew exactly why, but she didn’t want to admit it. She was scared of Rafe seeing her on JJ’s bike, knowing that he’s not on good terms with the pogues, and the last thing she had ever wanted was to make him feel like he was being replaced.

“Don’t trouble yourself too much, JJ,” she sighed. “Besides, you can see me for the next 2 months everyday if that’s what you want.”

He grinned, “Good offer. Will think about that soon.”

(Y/N) laughed, tilting her head to one side before making a move to reach for her phone. JJ watched as she filled in her passcode, went straight to Contacts, and handed him the phone.

“What’s this?”

“Oh god, you’re annoying,” she rolled her eyes. “Put in your McDonald’s order.”

JJ laughed again, his fingers sliding over her phone screen easily to fill in his number, and he handed her the phone back after saving his name as ‘Handsome pogue’.

“I’ll see you around, (Y/L/N).”

(Y/N) smiled, this time sincerely, and she thought about the possibility of spending her summer in The Cut with JJ where she knew there would be no troubles awaiting her.

It was safe to say that JJ and (Y/N) were inseparable after spending so much time together the next few weeks. Everywhere JJ goes, (Y/N) would be there with him, either by helping him with his work in the restaurant or running for groceries to deliver with him. She liked it with him; he took her mind off Rafe, and that was everything that she needed.

JJ knew about the girl’s relationship with Rafe last year, but he was careful not to cross the invisible line. He was gentle with her, always studying her reactions at certain places (he was sure Rafe had taken her to those places before) and in return, she knew everything about him.

“I’m sorry about your dad,” she bit her lips, letting the water soaked her jeans as they laid on the sand, gazing at the view. She felt sorry for the blonde boy after knowing the truth about his father, and wished she could help him in any way.

“That’s okay,” he replied. “Hey, I’m bringing you to meet my friends. Would you like that?”

“Your friends?” She raised her brows, “Like Kiera and Pope?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, “Would you like to meet them?”

(Y/N) thoughts went back to the many times Rafe had told her about the pogues, but she always saw them as a tight group of friends who always had each other’s backs. She never had that kind of friendship before, especially living in New York where almost everyone is fake, and sometimes wished she could have something like that.

“Okay, yeah,” she nodded, “Would they like me?”

“You’re kidding? You’re amazing!” JJ gushed out, throwing his arms onto the air before slapping the water, resulting in a splash across her face.

She gasped, “Fuck, you’re fucking dead.”

“No, no, I don’t mean it-”

The conversation turned into a water fight, their screams filling the air and attracting everyone’s attention, but (Y/N) didn’t care. She was enjoying the moment, with JJ, and she wished she could do this forever.

“Stop it!” JJ laughed, pushing her down to the sand before pinning her arms on top of her head. He watched as her chest heaved, a smile playing on her lips.

He pulled away, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

(Y/N) pulled him into a kiss, her fingers wrapping themselves around his jawline and allowing the water to completely wet their whole body. JJ softened into the kiss, still so shocked, but he never felt better than ever.

(Y/N) pulled away, giggling. “You’re red in the face, JJ.”

“Huh?” He smiled, and quickly pulled her up with him. “Let’s go to the Chateau. Get you cleaned up.”

“I’m not meeting your friends looking like this, J,” she rolled her eyes, pushing him away slightly. He pulled her close, placing a soft kiss against her forehead that left her all breathless.

“Why not? You’re still pretty.”

She made a face, but let her body be pulled away by JJ to his bike. She was nervous, of course, to see his friends, but she decided it was time anyways.

If she was to date JJ, then she would have to meet his friends and talk to them eventually.

When (Y/N) first entered the chateau, she didn’t know what to expect. Pope and Kiera were friendly to her, but she could feel the strange vibe between her and Kie, but they were both trying to be polite not to mention anything.

(Y/N) knew there was somebody missing from the group, but she didn’t dare mention it to anyone. JJ had hinted about this to her before, something about John B getting convicted, but she had tried her best to stray away from the topic.

“Let’s play truth or dare,” Kie smiled, clasping her hands together and laying her back against the chair. She watched as JJ whispered something to (Y/N), feeling her heart tightened when she laughed, and shook her head. Kie would never let anyone like her trouble her.

“JJ, truth or dare,” Kie said, crossing her arms. Her question was directed to JJ, but she watching (Y/N) intently.

“Dare.”

“Come on, we’re short of one person who could think of the best dares,” she said, and (Y/N) realised the piercing tone and attention towards her. She sucked in a breath, not sure if she was just stating or directing the statement to her in a satirical manner.

“Okay, truth,” JJ rolled his eyes.

“Do you miss John B?”

“Kie-” Pope groaned, “Not the time.”

(Y/N) watched as he glanced at her, but quickly pulled away when he realised she was staring at him too.

“Okay, since you guys wanna be such assholes,” Kie sat up straighter. “(Y/N), truth or dare?”

“I’m not playing.”

“Of course you’re playing,” Kie laughed, “You’re fucking with JJ now right? You gotta show-”

“Shit, Kie, what’s your problem?” JJ sighed, throwing his arms up into the air. “She’s a friend of mine.”

“She’s not your friend!” She suddenly exclaimed, “She fucking saw Rafe shot Sheriff Peterkin but decided to keep her stupid mouth shut because-”

“Stop it!” JJ yelled, pushing her against the seat. “Kie! Not right now!”

“What do you mean not right now?” (Y/N) asked, disbelief lacing in her tone. What was even happening? She was having the best time of her life a few hours ago at the beach, and now this?

“Oh, did your boyfriend not tell you?” Kie laughed. “It’s all an act for you to confess to him that you saw Rafe kill Sheriff Peterkin. Don’t fucking act dumb with me, (Y/N), you saw, and you didn’t tell anyone.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she gritted her teeth, “I never saw him kill anyone.”

“Bullshit!”

“Kie!” JJ yelled, using all of his power to hold off the struggling girl. He motioned for Pope to take over and tried to reach (Y/N), only for her to walk straight towards the exit.

“Wait, wait, I don’t mean it-” he sighed, wrapping his fingers around her wrist before pulling her close. “I don’t-”

“You betrayed me,” she said. “Are you that stupid? So you planned about helping me to the taxi stop so that I can confess whatever it is about Rafe? Is that your fucking plan?”

“No, oh my god, I didn’t mean-”

“Fuck! I know I can never trust you guys,” she hissed, pulling her hand away before walking towards the door. She groaned again when she realised the lack of a vehicle to drive home, but she rather walk back home than be in the same distance as JJ or Kie or anyone else.

She walked alone all the way to the main part of town so that she could hire a cab, and just to make her day any better; the rain suddenly decided it was time to cool the island, and (Y/N) was left to soak.

She put her arms around her, shivering slightly, looking back at her previous way and wondering how much time she had spent walking from the Chateau. If only she had driven all the way from Figure 8 to The Cut, she wouldn’t have had to waste her time walking mindlessly.

A few minutes after, she saw a car pulling up beside her. She decided to ignore the black vehicle in hope for whoever it is to finally give up.

“Get in, (Y/N).”

Part #2