#I finally watched the episode tonight because my internet was out for two days

[shutupineedtothink]

OHHHH... THE green witch, because the Earth is growth and life and flourishing... but it also decay and rot and everything "returning to the earth" in it's time. i like it. i like it a lot.

yeah so that among MANY other references in this episode, Rio is definitely Death.

[danileepearce]

I share a plex server with some friends over where I live now and sometime ago someone requested and added Welcome To The NHK to the list of available shows on it. About a week ago i started to work my way through watching it and just tonight I finally finished it. I didn't really think to expect much from it, but it ended up a show, a world, a set of characters that im really glad i ended up spending my nights with.

Firstly, the show for a good handful of its duration is absolutely laugh out loud funny. I now understand in that way why it seems to have been at least a minor sensation in some corners of late 00s internet(i don't know exactly of the reach it had, but it was probably big). so many easily quotable/jokeable/memeable moments throughout, such a hilarious dissection of otaku culture and also really just like, early 20s life. satou is the most 22 years old any human being has ever been in their entire lives.

the show genuinely takes its sweet time really kind of slowly inching its true message on you; it front-loads itself heavily with its comedy and its stories about satou and yamazaki being complete ridiculous dumbasses over several episodes, with every episode ending with that insane ABABA BABA BA ODORU AKACHAN NINGEN song which, the lyrics are so well written and so relatable for 2006…i was only 11 when this first aired! ********************************************************************* [[MAJOR SPOILERS PAST THIS POINT, DONT READ IF YOU DONT WANT THEM, ALSO CONTENT WARNING FOR SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER]] *********************************************************************

but then you get to that point in the series where satou becomes This Close to committing suicide. its played off in a somewhat over-dramatic way and even that has humorous undertones to it, but the first true colors of the heart behind the show really begin to introduce themselves in a very visible way after that point. the end credits song changes to something a lot more grounded, and little by little from then on, the humor kind of falls away, the characters satou had to bounce off of in these ways depart from the main plot altogether (but they give satou and yamazaki that one last "snowball fight" lmao. how did those two never kiss) until its just him and misaki. i actually was stunned at how totally transformed the tone had become by the last few episodes.

When I finally got to the end, it was one of those endings….one of those resolutions….where i just kind of ended up going out for a night walk at 2 am, walking for almost an hour listening to music, and then sitting out on a lounge chair on my driveway staring up at the stars and just thinking.

The big lore reveal for misaki around the climax of the story made me realise just how much i had in common with her. Basically ever since i first became homeless, and honestly some time before that, I feel like i've basically just always dedicated myself to helping others as best as i can. i used to be pretty bad at it, but i was dedicated enough to making this a fundamental part of who i was it that it became a skill within myself i refined like a sharp blade over the years. i gave myself up to ppl completely, in more ways than one, often just to have a place to stay. to this day, i feel like i give so much to my friends. i try to give so much to whatever community i find myself in. because i think i too share a compulsion to give others the love and the kindness that i was never given when i most needed it. like misaki. i also have worried pretty heavily about if my usefulness would last to the people around me. ive also hinged my entire life purpose on that.

i dont think i have as tragic of a backstory as misaki's is framed to be, but my family life was in many ways as equally fractured as hers. my mom didn't kill herself, but it feels like she might as well have. she always seemed like there once was a human being there that just became completely consumed with hate, with christofascism, with this desire to have me constantly hurt and beaten by not just her but by just about every adult figure that graced my life for many years. my dad was just simply not present, and was consumed by this complete inability to ever have the relationship with me that i so badly needed from him growing up. at times he was an equal participant in the abuse. and additionally at times he was actually scarier and a lot more energetically violent. when satou is on the island and raises his voice and fist to misaki, her reaction was something i felt very deeply. it especially hit with the lore reveal.

additionally, i related to satou in a number of ways too. up until this year i had spent the last 9 years essentially living in this very open-wound self-exploitative way where i essentially kept no secrets and no part of me concealed from people until this spring, around my 29th birthday, and at some point in the following summer, everything just Slammed Shut on my fingers from the inside and has not reopened. i feel like ive radically transformed into being a much more private person. i hardly post anywhere on social media anymore and most times i just outright avoid it. ive unfollowed/disconnected from a lot of the ppl i knew in that time period. ive struggled lately with a very deep fear of the world and of nearly everybody in it, since many of the people i met after escaping home were also people that hurt me in pretty profound ways, both on and offline. i spend a lot of time just in my house, which i try to maintain as low of stimuli within as i can. sometimes i just lie down and i listen to music and get lost in a very deep currant of my own thoughts. sometimes i just spiral. i was spiraling pretty heavily over this last week especially. feeling like the world and everyone in it wants nothing to do but just hurt me. like ITS ALL A CONSPIRACY (OF COURSE! WHY DIDN'T I REALIZE THIS BEFORE!)to keep me always suffering and in pain.

And, like both characters, i have wanted to kill myself. many times over many years. sometimes for extremely silly and impulsive reasons like satou, sometimes for reasons based out of very real deep-seated trauma, fear, and a sense of never-ending heartbreak like misaki. the way she fixates on death and suicide leading up to her own attempts is something i've done more times than i can count. anyone who has known me for any length of time has learned this about me at some point. my most recent plan to do so was made at the end of july this year. its funny in that way how satou catches misaki before she falls, and how satou is caught by the chain link (lol) and misaki then helps him back onto the cliff. that to me very much analogues my friends catching me and me catching myself. maybe im also that chain link; where even in my most brazen and my most far-flung from a grounded feeling that a hard wall will always stop me short from going through with it. who knows!

and i mean, maybe a hikkikimori partially/subliminally fits my description as of present, but maybe without the negative connotations that seem to associate with that term. ive mostly become a lot more hermetic out of necessity. I've Lived So Much Life and a lot of life that no one should ever have to live, and i've finally arrived at a place of stability and support where i can finally just Withdraw from it all. i can live with a quietness and a control over my environment that i've essentially always longed for. i guess that ive lived the reverse life of satou; he seems very comically dedicated to Always Being A Hikkikimori and yet he ends up doing a lot of Living over the course of the series! and in the end it results in him kind of resurfacing properly into the world. thats what the series portrays as a happy ending but i'd like to think that my "reversed" version of that has a happy ending to it in itself. i can finally live how i feel i deserve to. i can finally find and feel my own happiness in the withdrawal from so many elements in my life that were hurting me, burning me, bruising me very terribly.

id like to think also that our overall attitudes towards ppl who quote-on-quote Don't Contribute To Society have vastly improved since 2006; on a few occasions the series seemed very mean spirited in a way that hasn't aged well. The brief focus on kobayashi's brother i thought was really touching though; seemed like a more sympathetic look at complete reclusiveness even though he too has another "happy ending" type resolution. some ppl are just most comfortable shut off and isolated from most things in the world, especially in a covid age.

but anyway, i really like that the way satou and misaki dedicate themselves to self preservation is a(nother) contract that basically binds them them both to stay alive together. neither one of them wants the other to die, so either they both have to or neither of them do. that's really cute and sweet. i think i would get a lot out of having that kind of agreement with someone. like really, the way that this series extrapolates upon what it means to live, what it means to keep going, is done in a way that is surprisingly very well handled and very affecting to someone like me. and i definitely am sure that im not alone in that. these subjects were always the series' secret weapon, they were always the CONSPIRACY. the series just wants us all to live, to take care of ourselves through everything as much as we can.

in all of this, im reminded of a memory of someone who long ago i used to talk to and message every day as an excited 16 year old who barely knew how to be an actual person and was only really just learning how to interact with people online. if memory serves, Welcome To The NHK was a series that was very close and dear to her at that time. i hope she's doing ok.

but yeah. i guess in its own strange way NHK has become one of my unexpectedly favorite anime of all time, something that is no secret to anyone who has reached this same sentiment about it. It was something that found me at the perfect place at the perfect time. i get it now. i feel like i now get so much. a lot of this feels written very messily and disorganized and complicated in my thinking and wording, but if you made it this far, thank you for reading. its been a minute since i felt this inspired to just write

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Current Tag Game

I've been tagged by quite a few people now (thank you @twig-tea @colourme-feral @slayerkitty and @telomeke!) and in the past I've been too busy to complete these kinds of things but even though I'm still busy now, I figured I ought to do it this time...and if I don't do it now it won't get done. So, I'ma do it in 15 mins. Let's go!

Current time: 09:49

Current activity: I've just returned to my hotel room after having had breakfast. Hash Browns and Baked Beans ftw!! (<- How to tell someone you're British without telling them you're British 😂).

Currently thinking about: All the things that need to be done today - I'm away for work and I need to prep some stuff before leaving the hotel to go pick up some food for lunch because I won't have time to pop out later, and then I have to go to the location for today's work event and I basically won't stop until after it finishes tonight at 21:30 ish. (And somehow squeeze in Dangerous Romance somewhere there...maybe during my dinner break...or maybe I'll have to wait until afterwards when I'm back in the hotel again...but the internet is patchy at best - so if you don't hear me posting about it, it's because I won't be watching it until tomorrow evening 😭)

(Come on Lin, you gotta write faster!)

Current favourite song: This is so hard to pick just one! Okay, Until Then by Tilly Birds. I've known of the band since the Bad Buddy days but never really listened to their albums until Only Friends started airing and I discovered I'm Not Boring, You're Just Bored which made me go to their albums and now I'm a fan of more of their work.

Currently reading: I've said it before but I basically live in the Bad Buddy fandom on ao3. All other books are collecting dust on my bedside table, unread and unloved this whole year 😥

Currently watching: Not much actually since a lot finished airing recently. So, Dangerous Romance, Kiseki Dear to Me and You Are Mine. I've been waiting on english subs for the final episode of Love in Translation but it's been so long I might not bother anymore. And I paused I Feel You Linger in the Air before ep 9 and I'm waiting until the last ep has aired before I go back to it. I need to know if it's going to have a happy ending before I continue because it was SO beautiful but also SO heartbreaking and I was just scared all the time for the characters (someone tell me if it ends happily for all our couples!).

Special sub-heading:

Currently NOT watching and Sad About It So I've Had To Block The Tags: Shadow the series, My Gangster Oppa, and I Cannot Reach You (and maybe a few others I can't remember - I might not be able to watch Red Peafowl for the same reason) - all mainly because they're on platforms I don't subscribe to.

Current favourite character: I think Chen Yi and Ai Di (the Taiwanese Pat and Pran basically) - the one who realises his feelings late and goes ALL IN and the the other who has pined FOR YEARS and can't quite believe he finally gets to HAVE HIS DREAM. They own my whole heart.

Current WIP: My Thai Communal Wardrobe Advent Giveaway! Come request for a post about an item of clothing that has appeared in two or more shows to be dedicated to yourself or to someone else. I've only had about 10 requests so far - and I've already found about FIVE more, so the list I have currently stands at 50+!! There are plenty to go around 😁 Ask for more than one as well if you want.

Tagging a few who appeared in my recent notifications (and apologies if you've already been tagged, have already done it, or aren't interested!): @dimplesandfierceeyes @hsfavoriteworlds @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @quodekash and @aprilblossomgirl

[iantimony]

last may tuesdaypost?!

i am going to Terf Island (uk) for the last two weeks of may!! i am very excited! i won't even brush my teeth on the plane and get ill this time! (plane water is not potable! don't ask how i know this!) therefore this is likely going to be the last roundup til june 4, i doubt i will have the time/energy/inclination to be Posting while abroad. might treat it like a vacation from the internet as well, that could be good for me.

listening: i am now halfway through partizan episode 42. i listened to like...four episodes straight on my drive home? i unsurprisingly got stuck in [city] traffic because i did not anticipate mothers day being like, a holiday people would travel for. like a fool. so it took me 2 hours to drive 40 miles. yay. so i will not finish partizan + palisade before the palisade finale (that was always a pipe dream) but such is life. i bet i can finish partizan before the palisade finale though! so that's the goal. also have listened to a shitload of well there's your problem; hyperloop, electric vehicles, howard street tunnel fire, camp fire, among others

reading:"the end of the mrbeast era": i have never been a mrbeast guy. i am baffled by who he seems to be as a person. how miserable. ms-demeanor's new personal wiki: yayyyy posts

watching: dungeon meshi and asobi asobase again BUT WITH MY BOYF IN PERSON THIS TIME .... delightful.

playing: truly fallow. no tabletop, no board or card games, definitely no vidya, just vibes.

making: picked up these last few things from the kiln on my way out of town! the texture bowl came out good!! i made an insane google sheets chart to be able to see all the possible layering combos with the amaco glaze that is floating around in the pottery studio so i could choose the Best Layering for the texture alsfkjldkf. i landed on deep speckle olive over albany slip brown on the inside, and a brown-olive-brown sandwich on the outside. i do not think this made a noticeable difference but i like the general color variation!

little dish that i did some underglaze painting on also came out ... technically from its second glaze firing, the first time 'round it had a bit of frit embedded in it, so i filed it off, dabbed a bit more clear on, and put it back on the shelf.

it got a new bit of frit embedded in it. pain dot jpeg. painting came out cute at least. cherry blossoms!!

eating: went out to eat last night with the boyf to a german pub type restaurant by his place, it was good! schnitzeling for sure. made the brussel sprouts-tofu-hoisin and tahini sauce sheet pan meal for my mom and brother tonight.

misc: i am in Women Be Shoppin mode looking for bridesmaid dress ....... i am very close to just buying a simple floor-length slip pattern and some nice fabric im ngl. on one hand im too fuckin picky and my soul wants to not buy a dress that will only get worn once and being able to make it myself will make it easier to rewear .... on the other, most of these dresses are really reasonably priced ............. i have time to think about it, maybe even try sewing a mockup, so we'll see.

[drewzelle]

“nine mutuals you want to know better” tag game!

Tagged by @sarenhale ! I didn't have access to my computer the past couple days so I'm a bit late, but this was a lot of fun!! Thank you for the tag <3

Last Song: lately I've been relaxing to the Hollow Knight OST (City of Tears best track) but in terms of lyrical music, I recently rewatched the music video for "Little Dark Age" by MGMT because its vibes are fucking impeccable and mesmerizing (I can watch it on repeat for hours)

Favorite Color: purple is my go-to answer (especially blue-ish purples), but I also really love dark greens and desaturated earthy colors so much

Last Movie/TV Show: I feel like I haven't been watching movies lately (I'm more of a show person because I like longer form narratives) but I think the last one I watched was "Better Off Dead" while I was visiting my family for the holidays. It was a weird/surreal but good time! As for shows, I finally got around to watching Scavenger’s Reign!! Every aspect was just amazing, especially the worldbuilding and visuals. 2D animation is probably my favorite medium, so I'm really glad we're seeing more animation for adults that wants to tell a story instead of being a delivery device for lame sex jokes and cringe humor. OH ALSO DUNGEON MESHI!!! For a lot of the same reasons! Excited to watch the new episode tonight :>

Sweet / Spicy / Savory: I have a HUGE sweet tooth, so if I had to pick one, that would be it. Savory foods are great and I love them, I just have a leftover "now's your chance!" impulse from not being allowed much sugar as a kid that I can't seem to get rid of. I'm also weak to the "I deserve a lil treat" trap if I've got a bunch of sweet snacks around, so I have to be careful. As for spicy….I am SO completely unable to handle spicy food it’s almost funny, but really it’s just tragic because I LOVE cuisines known for being spicy, like mexican and thai. If I eat out, I always have to be like “can you please make it mild?” and even then, if it's not seasoned for the babiest of babies, my mouth will burn and my weak, white-person tummy will hurt.

Relationship Status: I keep forgetting I’m getting married in less than six months. My partner and I got engaged like two years ago and have lived together for almost five, so my brain just defaults to "there’s probably a guy nearby" and doesn’t think much deeper on it than that.

Last thing I googled: "morels" because I was discussing mushrooms with my friend and those are some cool lookin' guys! Shaggy ink caps too!

Current Obsession: …….One Piece 😅 I was a big fan as a teen but only got as far as the Skypiea arc before I fell off reading/watching it. The hype over the new live action version reminded me the series existed, so I’ve been not so slowly making my way through again, picking up where I left off. I love how absolutely bonkers, there-are-no-rules, anime-ass-anime it is, but also how genuine and heartfelt it can be. I also enjoy how character-driven so much of the plot is which works because of how interesting the characters are (Chopper, Robin, and Franky are my favs). I just got to the timeskip, so I’m maybe…halfway through? between this and BG3, RIP my free time lol

Last Book: I've been reading through Seiji Yoshida's "Houses with a Story" (slowly, because I want to really take it in and savor it) and it's been a delight. Very relaxing and inspiring :> (up next, I finally got copies of the Locked Tomb series, so soon I will be enjoying The Space Lesbians)

Looking forward to: Being able to organize and enjoy my "new" office space after some hectic days! My partner and I realized we barely spend any time in our bedroom except for sleeping, so we swapped my office into the bigger room in our apartment! There were some complications with getting the internet working on my PC, but we finally got it all smoothed out. Now I finally have all my books and sewing/crafting/creative stuff in one place without it feeling cramped or hiding things away in storage :>

Thank you again for the tag! I'm tagging @justagoos, @icicleteeth, @lunarliart, @saltsparkle, @fael-draws, @juliedillon, @ninamodaffari, @crabdominalpain, and the final slot for anyone else who wants to join in - but please don't feel obligated, this is just for fun! :>

[ratherembarrassing]

2023: week 14

i took the week off work and spent the time alternating between cleaning the explosion of mould in my shower (don't leave your house for the better part of two months, kids) and watching a shitload of tv.

class of '07 (amazon, 2023). i have never once in my life craved representation in fictional narratives, and the experience of watching this show probably explains why. much to unpack. anyway, i find very little in australian popular culture to recommend to the wider world, but this one hits.

grease: rise of the pink ladies (paramount+, 2023). oh boy. the first two episodes dropped the other day and i am still processing to the point where i think i might need to watch them again. it's not like i'm precious about the original, because it's grease 2 that's my very most favourite movie ever made. i have a horse in this race, but it's not the good one! i will say the music is awful, like on a par with the original songs of glee, if you can imagine. it did start to find its feet at the end of the second episode though, and the four leads are infinitely shipable in every combination, so there's that at least.

mae martin's sap (netflix, 2023). i watched because of the post with the caps about printing out buffy the vampire slayer pictures off the internet in the 90s. this was mostly good but watching the final bit flop was rough.

boygenius' the record (2023). i am not immune to the powers of a queer supergroup. this slaps, it's mid 2000s indie rock - a genre of music that should never have gone away.

boygenuis' pitchfork video 'over / under with boygenuis', which honestly made me laugh more than anything has this year. i would die for lucy dacus.

a fucktonne of youtube videos about 3D printing, which lead to a fucktonne of youtube videos about making things in general, and now i'm just obsessed with laura kampf.

potato gems (aka tater tots). they're back, baby! (there has been an extreme potato shortage in australia since the start of the year and it's been impossible to buy frozen potato foods.) when i spotted them in the frozen section at my local woolies i might have woo!'d out loud.

succession, episode 403 (aka tonight's ep). omg.

[lunarsun12]

Confrontation

Masterlist

Previous episodes / Next Episode

After Jay has found Sunoo, he helped Sunoo to get Kai number from his database. As he really hates his child to be upsets plus super proud of his child taking the initiative to take down his competitors.

Once Sunoo got Kai phone number, he immediately texted Kai. Demanding he delete that video. However his plan didn’t go as planned

What happened to Sunoo plan?

Sunoo and Heuningkai Private Chat

Today 18:00

Sunoo☀️: Hello my nemisis

Heuningkai🐧: Beomgyu stop pranking me it’s not funny!!

Sunoo☀️: Who’s Beomgyu?

Heuningkai🐧: Very funny…I know you pretending to be someone who is called Sunoo, just so you can mess with me

Heuningkai🐧: IM NOT FALLING FOR IT

Sunoo☀️: What? You discounted penguin

Sunoo☀️: Are you detective Kai?

Heuningkai🐧: Beomgyu, don’t be silly of course I am detective Kai

Heuningkai🐧: You finally come around and appreciate my detective work

Heuningkai🐧: Also what’s with the name calling, I will use my height to my advantage

Sunoo☀️: Are you threatening me?

Heuningkai🐧: Haha you are so funny Beomgyu

Sunoo☀️: this is not a joke! You stole my viewers! You spotlight hogger

Sunoo☀️: Please disappear from the internet before I make you do it with my ‘special skills’

Heuningkai🐧: 😂😂😂 wow hyung your acting skills is top notch

Heuningkai🐧: You sounded like you are really mad. Wait until I tell Taehyun

Back at TXT children chat

Heuningkai🐧: TAEHYUN GUESS WHAT BEOMGYU DID

Taehyun⭐️: What did he do? Did the super glue trick worked?

Heuningkai🐧: What superglue? Beomgyu was pretending to be called Sunoo and is trying to threatening me

Heuningkai🐧: I see through your pranks Beomgyu!! You can’t fool me

Beomgyu🐻: What? Who’s Sunoo?

Beomgyu🐻: I haven’t set the superglue prank yet

Heuningkai🐧: Huh? Then who got my number

Taehyun⭐️: Kai, did you accidentally give your phone numbers to strangers?

Heuningkai🐧: NO STRANGER IS SCARY

Heuningkai🐧: Hang on…the person is not Beomgyu…then oh no

Heuningkai🐧: Also thanks for telling me about the superglue prank 😇😇

Sunoo and Heuningkai Private Chat

Heuningkai🐧: WHO ARE YOU??

Heuningkai🐧: PLEASE PLEASE DON’T HURT ME

Sunoo☀️: You don’t need to know…you spotlight hogger

Heuningkai🐧: It’s not my fault people love watching crime stuff. It’s super entertaining

Heuningkai🐧: You should come up with better content

Sunoo☀️: HOW DARE YOU! MY CONTENT IS THE GREATEST

Sunoo☀️: YOU JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE OF MY CUTNESS

Heuningkai🐧: Why would I be jealous? I don’t even know who you are?

Sunoo☀️: Ever heard of daily sunshine channel? It’s the greatest

Heuningkai🐧: Oh cool! I check it out!

Heuningkai🐧: I love helping small channels out! Make sure to watch my video tonight

Sunoo☀️: SMALL HOW DARE YOU-

Sunoo☀️: Don’t worry this will be last video you post. After I spread rumour about you :3

Heuningkai🐧: Also how did you get my number?

Sunoo☀️: From my appa 😇

Heuningkai🐧: Must one of Appa weird parents friends kids

Sunoo☀️: Enjoy the peace 👹

The next day

TXT Family Chat

Today 10:00am

Taehyun⭐️: WE HAVE A PROBLEM

Beomgyu🐻: Poor Kai, hasn’t stopped crying non stop

Yeonjun👴: Who made little Kai cry?

Yeonjun👴: Is it one of you two?

Taehyun⭐️: It not us, somone made up a rumour about online saying he bullied somone at school

Beomgyu🐻: People on the internet are attacking him badly

Soobin🍞: Kai? He never bullied anyone. The teacher always says he is the most well behaved child

Yeonjun👴: RIGHT! TELL ME EVERYTHING AND I WILL MAKE SURE TO BEAT THAT PERSON DOWN

Yeonjun👴: No one messes with my children and gets away with it

Yeonjun👴: Who ever is responsible, gonna never wish they have ever set foot on earth

[manekicatwriter]

hellooo! i was wondering if i could make a request for an modern au sbi x gn sibling reader where they’re around 17-19, and they’ve got depression. they’ve had to go away for a few weeks after a bad episode ended in an attempt and they were hospitalized and sent somewhere for rehabilitation and now they’re coming home and they’re all anxious and quiet and stuff- so the boys do their best to like comfort them and reassure them that they’re loved and they belong there? i’m sorry if that’s an awkward request, i was just recently discharged after a similar situation and honestly the comfort would be great. it’s totally your call if you chose to write it tho, i understand that this is a difficult and triggering subject and not everyone is comfortable with writing things like it. if you aren’t comfy please feel free to just ignore my ask! <3

you’re here, and that’s what matters.

TW: mentions of attempted suicide. please proceed with caution.

hey! i just wanted to let you know that i’ve been through a similar situation and understand how you feel (though my case was not as severe). i wish you a safe road to recovery.

note, i think you asked for their characters but it leant itself towards their rl versions. i have a feeling the dsmp versions would be too chaotic for this sensitive subject.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!! please do not be afraid to send in an ask. ANON IS ON!!

Phil:

- phil was very scared about you being so gravely hurt, it kept him up for some nights. thankfully, you pulled through.

- he visited whenever he could. if he couldn’t, he was busy making sure coming home felt as comfortable for you as possible while also educating himself on how to take care of you.

- phil would listen to how you felt, and be understanding of your feelings.

- “You don’t have to tell me why you did it, I’m just glad you’re here,” pulling you in for a warm hug.

- when you got back home, he made sure he and the boys had prepared your favorite dinner and desserts.

It was the day you had just got home from rehabilitation, and you two were sitting on the couch. You hadn’t said much, you felt like you had nothing to say. Phil had asked for you to sit down so you two could talk, one on one.

You couldn’t meet his gaze. “I’m sorry,” your voice started to crack. “For making you guys worry about me.” Tears started to form from your eyes and you wept into your hands.

Phil immediately reached over to you to hug you, letting you cry on his shoulder. “We don’t blame you. We don’t blame anybody. I just want you to be here safe with us. Let it all out.” He pat and rubbed your back soothingly as you kept crying. But it was a good cry. He was just glad you came home.

Tommy:

- even though many see tommy as a loud and obnoxious boy with a general disregard for others, we all know deep down that’s a persona. he will go out of his way to make other comfortable in his presence if he truly cares for them. which he does, for you of course.

- he wants to make you happy! when the time is right, he’ll crack jokes and offer to play minecraft with you.

- would tone down the yelling. not because you asked, but he’s afraid of triggering you. treats you like glass. if you notice he’s being quieter than usual and you don’t care, you tell him you don’t.

- if you’re feeling it, he’ll take you out to fun places and to eat. nothing that’s too outlandish like a theme park, but just enough to have a reason to get out of bed that day instead of sleeping in.

It had been a week since you had gotten home and Phil had instructed you to maintain somewhat of a schedule to upkeep yourself. Right now was your nightly routine, washing yourself, brushing your teeth, and finally sliding under the covers. It felt nice. The blanket of sleep consumes you easily…

…

Until you bedroom door opens you’re being aggressively shaken awake. You groan, shying away, but they’re persistent.

“Ey, wake up, it’s morning!” Tommy shakes you again.

You realize you didn’t dream, but think nothing of it. “Tommy please, what do you want.”

Finally, Tommy pulled your warm sheets from over you, making you flinch. “I wanted to go out to the park today! Feed the ducks! Yeesss!”

You sighed. If you didn’t comply now, Tommy will refuse to stop nagging you for the rest of the day. You rolled out of bed and into the bathroom. You could very clearly hear Tommy’s cheers.

You two had gotten ready, eaten breakfast, and said goodbye to the rest of your family so you could head over to the park. It was close enough that it wasn’t unbearable to walk to. Even if you weren’t completely yourself yet, you were glad Tommy was.

After the short walk you two finally reached the park. Tommy immediately bolted toward the pond and you jogged behind. He had already started throwing the ducks some seeds, and even threw it on a duck. It didn’t seem too pleased.

You two sat at the edge of the pond as you watched the ducks eat. “Hey.” You hear Tommy call to you, and you turn your head to him.

“Can we talk about what happened? With you? Is it okay?” You could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

“Go ahead, what is it?”

“When Techno found out what happened to you, and told us the news, I was scared shitless.” He let out a sad huff. “I thought we were going to lose you.” Tommy kept his eyes fixed at the pond in front of him. “I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t have brought this up. I’m just glad you’re okay.” He sighed.

You put a hand on his shoulder. “Oh Tommy…” You started, “I’m sorry for making you worry. You shouldn’t have to feel like that because of my actions.”

Tommy was lost in thought for a moment, before finally speaking up, “No, please don’t apologize. It’s not anybody’s fault this happened, right?” You nodded.

Tommy stood up, dusting his pants off from the grass. “Come on now, let’s go get some ice cream!” He pulled you up from the ground.

“Last one to get to the shop has to pay!”

Immediately, Tommy bolts in the direction to the ice cream shop, and you catch up to him. No matter the circumstance is, he never seems to fail at putting a smile on your face.

Wilbur:

- i HC wilbur being the oldest, being older than techno by 3 years and older than tommy by 8, like IRL. :]

- i think out of all of your siblings, wilbur exudes the most “protective older brother” energy, yeah?

- remember when tommy lied about his mother being in trouble and how worried and anxious wilbur got? turn that up to 11 with what happened with you.

- with wilbur being the oldest, he of course had the responsibility of taking care of everyone. but somehow you and him didn’t spend as much 1 on 1 time as much as wilbur did with his other siblings

- wilbur definitely was going to change that, realizing that and not wanting to make that mistake again.

- he decided that finding a new hobby with you wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

You were sitting at the dinner table, being the last one there. You were poking at your food for the most part, and Wilbur got home late from… whatever Wilbur thing he was doing. Phil cooked pasta for dinner tonight. Wilbur put down his bags at the door connected to the garage. “I’m home! What’s for dinner?”

“Pasta.”

“Mmm, I love some good ol’ pasta.” He said, already taking a plate out to serve himself. “Also, hey, I bought something I wanted to build with you. Do you mind?”

You finally looked up from your very interesting pasta. “Build..?” You had no idea where this was going.

Wilbur placed his plate on the table and approached the bags of groceries, going through them to find the bag he was looking for. He pulled out a LEGO set. More specifically, a LEGO City set from the looks of the box? “Wilbur, how much was that?”

He blinked at you innocently. “It was only, like, £25. And look! It’s got a little submarine we can make with a rock and ugly sea monster—“

“But why?”

“Why not? It wouldn’t hurt for you to do something new, yeah?” He smiled at you, shaking the LEGO box in front of him to show it off. You sighed, but smiled. “Alright. But maybe you and I should eat this pasta first before we start building.” Wilbur nodded.

“Speaking of water, don’t you think I could teach you how to swim or something?”

“Oh, fuck off with that!”

Technoblade:

- i think out of everyone in the family, he understands you the most in terms of how you feel.

- not suicidal, but just generally having depressive episodes due to his ADHD.

- techno’s generally closed off, but started to really open up to you because he wanted to show he cares, even if it meant going out of his comfort zone.

- techno suggested journaling. once a day or once per week, it didn’t really matter. just as long as you could write down your feelings somewhere.

- he didn’t explicitly say it, but he also bought a book for himself so he could do it along with you. although, he more often than not just forgets to write in it until you mention your own journal.

- if you want to be sad and quiet, you can be sad and quiet with him. his room is a safe space for you if you ever need it and you’re always welcome to come in, just as long as you knock first.

With one hand on your mouse scrolling through the internet, and another resting your head on it, you were safe to admit you were utterly and completely bored. Honestly, you thought about taking another nap after your last one, but a knock on your door stopped you right before you pulled the covers over yourself. “Can I come in?”

You rose from your bed. “Come in. Oh hey Techno.”

He gave a simple wave and his signature “Halloo.” He walked right over to you and handed a journal and a ballpoint pen. “I got this. For you.” His stare was sharp but you could sort of tell he was nervous.

“What for?”

“I dunno. Writin’ your feelings down or drawin’ or somethin’. Whatever helps you vent.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Oh Techno, thank you. That’s very sweet of you.” You gave a slight smile, but saw that he still had another journal in his hand. “You have two journals?”

Techno raised his eyebrow in confusion before looking down at his hand. “Oh this? It’s for me. So we could do it together, I guess.”

You let out a happy hum. “That’s nice. Say, why don’t we go to your room? I want to see your new lava lamp and stuff.”

Techno shrugged. “Sure. I’ve got more stationary too if you want.” He waved his hand before letting himself out the door, with you following not far behind.

hi hope u enjoyed reading as much as i did writing it. this format was new for me but very fun!

[hangovercurse]

Nerd Love

After years of working together, Pete still manages to break you.

Request: “Hi! Can I get a Pete imagine where you guys work on SNL together and you have few skits together and during one of them you can’t stop laughing”

Pete Davidson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 2237

“Live from New York, it’s Saturday night!” You hear Kate and the host of the week announce before Lorne motions that the cameras had cut for commercial break. You and Pete had a sketch together in exactly 12 minutes and 45 seconds, and you were trying to cool your nerves.

You loved your job, writing on SNL was something you had dreamed of since you were in middle school, and now it was your reality. Of course, it was hard, the hours were long and the work was demanding. But having Pete by your side made it all bearable.

You had met on your first day, getting hired one season after him. You two were deemed the “babies” of the cast because you were the youngest, so naturally you got paired up. A lot.

At first it bothered you that you only really ever worked with one person, but after your first few episodes you grew to love Pete. Your energies matched so well, and whenever you wrote together you easily built of each other.

After 6 years of working on the show together, you had become really close friends. You were with him through all of his hard times, and you were one of the few people he let visit him in rehab. In return, he stuck by your side through everything, even when the internet tried to cancel you for an interview that was taken completely out of context.

You couldn’t pinpoint when, but at some point, you had developed real feelings for him. Obviously, you’d never tell him, not wanting to mess up your amazing friendship. But they still flourished, especially when you would be up until 6 am writing sketches and goofing around in the writer’s room. Of course, the comments from fans didn’t help your feelings either. They loved you guys. Anytime you posted Pete on your social media, they were all over it.

But you guys had denied the dating rumors countless times since they’d started 5 years ago. Even though having to hear the words “we’re just friends” over and over killed you.

You were lost in thought when Pete came up behind you, hands grabbing your shoulders and shaking you slightly. “Ready bookworm?” He asked, moving to stand next to you.

“Only if you are, Mr. jock-man.” You laughed, rolling your eyes.

The sketch you and Pete had written was a young couple on a really fancy date to celebrate their 6-month anniversary. Your character was going on the date with Kyle Mooney’s character. Both of you were the stereotypical nerd couple with glasses, suspenders, and everything else. Pete was playing your waiter, who obviously did not give a shit about his job. He was the stereotypical jock character. Your character was super attracted to him and kept paying attention to him. He loved the attention and would do things like show you his (reaaaallllyyy) lame tattoos, tell you about sports, and everything that nerds don’t like. Kyle obviously didn’t like that and kept trying to get your attention in the weirdest of ways.

It was pretty funny in rehearsals, almost too funny. Seeing Pete act so out of character was hilarious to you and having to overdramatically flirt with him felt ridiculous. You barely made it through in rehearsals without laughing, so you had to hope you could do it on stage.

“Y/N, Pete, and Kyle. You’re up.” The stagehand told you, and you grabbed Kyle’s hand, walking to the stage.

The sketch started and you were doing okay. You and Kyle had your conversation about your anniversary and your favorite Star Wars movies. But then Pete walked onto the stage in his ridiculous waiter getup. His white shirt was unbuttoned at the top and wrinkled, his black pants hanging low on his hips, and his apron only half tied. You bit your tongue to keep yourself together.

“Welcome to White Oyster, what do you want?” He said in a very bored voice. You acted interested, eyes raking up and down him. You felt ridiculous and had to swallow a laugh.

Kyle pushed his glasses up on his nose, “me and my girlfriend are here for our six-month anniversary, so we would like the couple’s special.” His nerd voice was incredible.

“Okay. Anything else?” Pete’s voice remained monotone.

You bit your lip, “do you recommend anything else?” You asked, trying to sound nerd-sexy.

You could see Pete struggling to contain a smile. “I mean, whatever. Food here is shitty anyways.”

Kyle’s mouth gaped, “can you not speak like that around my girlfriend, please?”

The sketch continued with you making flirty remarks towards Pete, him being very bored and unaware, and Kyle trying to direct your attention. After your second attempt at flirting with him, you could feel yourself breaking down.

“So, I was wondering. Do you have any tattoos?” You asked him, your elbow on the table, twirling a piece of your hair in your finger.

Pete nodded, pulling up his shirt to show the big MOM tattoo on his side that was drawn on earlier. You felt a giggle slip out, completely out of character.

You tried to cover it up and continue, “wow, you really must love your mom, huh?” Another chuckle leaving your mouth, “that’s kinda hot.”

Kyle looked at you with wide eyes, “Linda!” He screamed the name of your character

Pete shrugged, “Nah, I did it myself. It says WOW, like world of warcraft.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that fell out of your mouth, and one followed from Pete. This was a disaster. You tried to regain your composure, knowing Kyle was probably really frustrated right now. “I just think tattoos are so cool. You don’t have any, do you Darren?” You asked Kyle’s character, eyes narrowing at him. You heard a chuckle from Pete beside you and you bit your cheek.

Kyle faked looking flustered, “N-no. But I have all 7 of the Harry Potter books and 4 collectors wands.”

Pete nodded, “Oh cool, I have a Harry Potter tattoo.” He pulled up his arm to show his real tattoo.

Your eyes went wide, “Wow. That’s way cooler.” You batted your eyes up at Pete, making him break even more. Watching his face go red and his mouth lifting up with laughter made you squeeze your eyes to hide your laughter.

“But babe!” Kyle was starting to break now too. “You love my Harry Potter stuff!”

“It’s cool, I guess.”

The sketch continued with you and Pete laughing anytime you looked at each other, your energies feeding into one another. You both tried really hard to keep it together, but something about flirting with Pete made you so giddy inside that you couldn’t help it.

Eventually the scene ended and the lights went down. You knew the cameras probably caught an extra few seconds after the close of the sketch, meaning they caught you and Pete breaking down into fits of laughter.

You somehow made it offstage, faces red. “We’re so gonna get fired.” He said through giggles.

“I’m so sorry,” You started, trying to take breaths through your laughs. “I don’t know why I couldn’t hold it together.”

“You looked ridiculous.” Pete laughed, pointing at your glasses.

 After the show you made your way back to your dressing room, changing into your day clothes and getting ready to leave. You finally checked your phone, which had been off the duration of the show.

Your twitter feed was filled with clips of you and Pete laughing through the sketch.

They’re so cute together #goals

Love their friendship

Get you someone who looks at you like Pete looks at Y/N

Poor Kyle ☹

The way they can’t get through a skit because they’re too in love

And they say they aren’t dating…

Can’t believe the unprofessionalism

Pete and Y/N are dating… no one can convince me otherwise

The flirting!!! The looks!!!

I would like Pete and Y/N to get married and adopt me please

Your heart melted at all the comments, a sigh leaving your mouth. You watched the video and noticed the way he looked at you anytime you broke character, it was the same way you looked at him all the time.

You shook your head, convincing yourself you were imagining it. You couldn’t afford to think like that, it would ruin your friendship.

A knock at your door pulled you out of your thoughts, “Y/N, wanna go grab a drink with me?” It was Pete.

“You can come in.” You called, and he did so. “I don’t know, I was thinking I might just go home. I’m pretty tired.” You really just wanted to go home and sort through your feelings for the umpteenth time that month.

He nodded, watching as you tossed various items in your bag, “you were great tonight.”

You giggled, “Pete I barely made it through our sketch, it was a disaster.”

He rolled his eyes, walking over to where you were at your vanity. “I messed up too, but it was fine. No one noticed.”

You leaned into the mirror, fixing your makeup slightly. Pete was very close to you, watching you through said mirror. “Trust me, Petey. Everyone noticed.” You laughed, standing up straight again.

Your back was inches from his chest, and you could suddenly feel a different sort of tension in the air. But you didn’t make any move to shift away from him. He gave you a quizzical look through the mirror and you took out your phone, turning to him.

You took in a breath at the proximity. You weren’t close enough to kiss or anything, but his chest was only a few inches away from you. You shook away the thoughts you were having and opened your twitter, letting him scroll through the tweets. He chuckled and shook his head as he read them, eventually handing you your phone back.

“People really like us together.” He said, smiling.

You rolled your eyes, “They have for the past like, 6 years, Petey. We’re funny.” You smiled moving to turn back to grab your bag, but his hand grabbed your hip and made you stay facing him.

Your mind went blank at his touch, trying to figure out if this was real or if you were just really really tired. “That’s not what I meant.” He said, quieter.

You laughed, looking away from his eyes, not really knowing what to say. “I mean, people have always thought… stuff like that.” You mumbled, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

Pete’s eyes were searching your face, taking in every detail. “Have you ever thought about, like, why people think we’re…” He trailed off, but you knew what he was implying.

You blushed, looking down at your toes. “I mean, I guess we’re together a lot and we get on well. People just like to make assumptions, I guess.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure it doesn’t help that I can never keep my eyes off of you, even when the cameras are rolling.” He said, a chuckle following.

You smiled, looking back up at him, your brain trying to process what he just said. After a few moments of silence, you spit out a “why are you bringing this up?” Your voice was soft, almost a whisper.

He sighed, hand moving from your hip and rubbing his face lightly. “I don’t know, I’ve just been thinking a lot.” You gave him a look that told him to continue. “I mean, I think it’s kind of obvious that I like you.”

Your mouth dropped, “obvious? Pete Davidson you have been far from obvious about your feelings.” You really thought you were dreaming, hearing those words from him was just impossible.

“Are you kidding me? How many sketches do I have to write just so I can flirt with you? Have you not picked up on the fact that literally every sketch I write for you to be in we’re playing some sort of couple?” He laughed, stepping towards you, and grabbing your hips again. “Dude, and I thought I was oblivious to this shit.”

“In my defense I’ve spent the past like 6 years trying to convince myself you didn’t feel the same way.” You said, a smile crossing your face.

Pete rolled his eyes, leaning closer to you, “now why would you wanna do that?” There was a playful tone in his voice, but you couldn’t help your serious answer.

“Because I didn’t wanna read the signs wrong and mess up our friendship.” You sighed.

Pete’s smile softened, “Y/N I literally want to kill you right now for making me wait this long.” You giggled, leaning closer to him. “But you’re cute so I guess I can let it slide.”

“If I kiss you will it make up for it?” You asked, batting your eyelashes.

Pete pretended to think about it, “hmmm, maybe. You should definitely give it a shot to see.”

You rolled your eyes, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into you. Your lips touched his and it was like everything in the universe suddenly aligned. His mouth moved against yours in soft, perfect motions. His hands pulled you closer into him, your bodies molding together like it was meant to be.

When you finally pulled away for breath, he pressed his forehead against yours, a wide grin on his face. “So, about those drinks?”

[yn-x-animeboy]

Jungkook x y/n (as a famous artist) Pt.3

sinopsis: You are a popular artist in America, pretty famous, loved and well-known by the general public (actually you were one of the top 10 artists in the world but you are pretty humble and naïve to realize your popularity), one day during one of your fan meets you talk about how much you love BTS, and not only how you wish to meet them and work with them but how Jungkook is one of your celebrity crushes. During the meet you fangirled with other ARMYs in the crowd; video clips of you fangirling and talking about BTS at your meet where posted and reposted all over social media. This obviously broke the internet because you were not only a famous singer but you also were always accepted and loved by ARMY and this made a lot of people happy. Suddenly it felt like everyone wanted you to meet the seven handsome and talented idols and collaborate, but you could only wish, you believed they didn't even know who you were...or so you thought

pairing: reader x Jungkook

genre: fluff, romance, for entertainment purposes

BTS x Fem Reader

Parts: 1 here & 2 here

---

Part: 3 - The Jimmy Fallon Show

A couple of months have passed since your fan meet episode went viral and since BTS saw the video too. A lot has happened since then tbh, you kept working hard, you just put out your 5th studio album which is doing amazing in the charts, it reached no.1 for album of the year and 3 of your songs stand in the first places amongst other artists on the top 100 songs as well. BTS have also been working on music and projects, not a lot of time for you all. 

Even though it has been a long time since your ‘fan meet’ episode was aired  the media still brings up your episode highlights where you talk about BTS, it is not another really, it doesn't seem to affect you. Neither you or BTS have openly spoken about this to the general public, to them, it seemed like a cute exchange between you and your fans where they got ‘close and personal’. The only difference now is that your fans and ARMYs now have a ship name for you and Jungkook, and they still wish their ship could sail someday….

Thanks to the success your album has had in the short time it was published, you have been invited to multiple talk-shows to promote your new music and to basically catch up with the media. As an artist the whole publicity thing is important for your team and company. Even though it can be hard to ‘do press’ as a celebrity, you enjoy it and always do your best for your supporters. Your fans and everyone who became a fan of your infamous episode would troll around twitter writing things like ‘will BTS be on this show appearing with y/n?’ ‘AYe y/n watch out, they are going to surprise you with BTS’; but you didn't really have time to see them, only your team was aware. Your days working + rehearsing + promoting don't really give you time to scoop around your social media.

Today on your schedule: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. Tonight you will be performing and having an interview for the show. You love this show so much, you have been invited before,  and you really feel comfortable on set in the company of Jimmy and his team/staff, they are always super nice and welcoming. You haven’t been there for an interview in a while and you are excited. (Even though it went viral, and it was your fantasy, the whole “I WISH I COULD MEET BTS AT A TONIGHT SHOW” was not really on your mind today, probablly because of how hectic your day was. You woke up super early and took a flight on your jet to New York, then you went to rehearsal to rehearse the song you’ll be performing tonight, went to the hotel and took a shower, went to two important business meetings for your record company, barely had time to eat, then went and had hair and makeup done for an afternoon interview for a radio show and finally some rest before you went to the Jimmy Fallon studio)

The Tonight Show starts at 10:00pm but you have to get there earlier to greet Jimmy and the staff, to quickly rehearse your performance, to go over details about the show, get ready, etc. You arrive on set at around 6:00pm in sweatpants, a baggy Ariana Grande merch T-shirt, sneakers and fresh hair from your second shower today. You walk through the door next to your personal bodyguard Lee and Manager Sam, followed by your stylist Meg behind you, you look around to see if you could recognize any familiar faces, The camera crew were setting up their high budget equipment, staff members cleaning, running around and preparing for tonight's live interview. Jimmy comes out from behind a door with casual clothes and messy hair, nothing like his sleek professional look on TV. Smiling he greets you and your team; he takes a step forward and hugs you tightly “Hi y/n it’s so nice to see you, it has been a while we have missed you, ever since your interview was scheduled for this week the staff has been excited to see you again, including me, you are one of our favorite guests to have over i swear” you look at him sweetly with hands on your chest from his hind words (the reason why they loved you so much was because you were different from other celebrities on the show, you were always super polite and nice to the staff and took time out of your schedule to greet everyone and introduce yourself, even though you were one of the biggest stars in the world you humble personality attracted many). “Omg stop Jimmy you are so sweet, I love your show so much it’s always an honor, thanks again for inviting meI wanna say hi to the staff, can I?” You said; Jimmy has been like a mentor to you when it comes to interviews and press, he was one of the first people to believe in you and interview you when you debuted. “Yes of course you go ahead, I’ll talk with your manager while you do so to catch up.” (They were good friends too)

While Jimmy and Sam catch up, and your stylist and bodyguard follow an assistant to put your stuff in the dressing room; you walk around introducing yourself to the staff; you visit the camera crew, the audio booth, the lighting crew, the producers, the PD, the meeting room, even the cafeteria. This helped you also to loosen up and feel more comfortable and confident for the show. After the greeting you quickly rehearsed with your talented backup dancers for the performance to get used to the ‘stage’ and the spacing.

One of the sweet staff members you just met offered to show you to your dressing room where Lee, Sam and Meg were waiting for you. You entered the spacious dressing room and sat at a small couch next to Lee (he was your bodyguard but sometimes even acted like a father/guardian to you, you were thankful you had a close connection with your team) You treated them all, including your dancers, to a mini banquet of food from the cafeteria and chatted about nothing before you had to start getting ready. Sam started getting constant phone calls, as your manager he was constantly busy on the phone, he ignored a couple of them but the caller seemed insistant, Sam saw the caller ID and shot up and ran outside to answer. “Ey no phones on the table mister” you teased as he was halfway out the door, he flipped you off and you back at him and proceeded to finish your snack; “Who would be so insistent, the company handles the calls when Sam has something to to with y/n… this interview has been scheduled for a month now…” Meg, your stylist commented, but you just just shrugged her shoulders as you swallowed the last bite of your sandwich, not really thinking too much about it. You stood up to brush your teeth after finishing eating. (what you failed to notice was Lee making a face to Meg basically telling her to ‘shut up’.... they knew something you didn’t but you didn’t see said interaction at all)

After 20-30 mins Sam came back as if nothing happened, you were now sitting in front of the large vanity mirror and Meg staring at your hair behind you. “Is everything okay Sammy?” You asked, thinking the call could be from a family member or an emergency, judging on the time it took. “No, yes- um it was just a catch up call, apparently the company did not answer their call in my place so they called me directly ignoring the fact that I was here with you.” he spoke. “Ah yeah, well that's good, well we finished our food and cleaned up so the girls (referring to the 2 backup dancers) and I could start getting ready but I left you and Lee some cookies and coffee on the table” you said pointing to the small coffee table in front of the couch that was previously filled with food, Lee, a 6’5 tall man sitting in a tiny couch with a cookie on his right hand and coffee on his left making space for Sam to sit next to him. cute. 

You finish getting ready, hair done simple and comfortable for your interview and later performance, light natural makeup letting your natural beauty show off and fancy yet comfortable outfit that allows you to sit and dance comfortably. You felt really pretty and powerful. It was 9:30, only 30 mins before The Tonight Show started. before The live audience was allowed inside the studio you went over your dance quickly to make sure your outfit was safe to dance in, to make sure the music was the right one and to let the camera crew plan out their shots for the dance and interview segments. Once again you bought your head towards the staff and wished them good luck and a good show, you introduced yourself to the live band that accomplies Jimmy for the show as well and went backstage again for the final touch ups and waited for your turn to come out.

----

“.... and now here is your host...Jimmy Fallon'' he was introduced as the audience clapped for him and he walked across the set to his desk. “Hi, everyone, and welcome to THE TONIGHT SHOW!!!” The crowd cheered again for Jimmy. “Normally we have multiple guests on this show and from 10:00 pm to 12:00am we talk to multiple guests but today is a little different, today we have a very very special guest who will be with us. the. full. show!!!” The audience was comforted by a lot of your fans since it was announced you would be the guest tonight they prepared, and as soon as they heard this immediately stood up and cheered knowing it was you he was talking about. “She is one of my favorite artists, she is the sweetest, most talented artist today. Everyone welcome…. y/n'' The crowd went crazy as you came out from behind the curtain. Seeing everyone you bowed down to the audience and waved your hands, then you took Jimmy's hand to help you up the steps to the couch next to his talk show desk and sat down again bowing your head and mouthing ‘thank you’ to the still cheering audience.

“Wow the people love you y/n'' Jimmy said. “Hahaha no, stop, Thank you all, I love you so much I don't deserve you all.” you said blushing a little from the overwhelming support. The interview started normally, Jimmy introduced you properly to the camera and audience, you spoke about yourself and answered the general questions (‘What have you been doing these days?’ ‘Tell us about your album’.... blah blah)

After a couple of questions you did a fun activity with Jimmy where you created a funny sketch similar to the ones on SNL, you followed the lines on the promter and it came out to be a really funny and light activity to interlude the show. Then after a small break you went back to your seats and continued the Q&A.

“It's crazy, y/n’s latest album is the number one album in the country and she also holds the first, second and third spots for the billboard top 100 hits. You even broke a record for this, to being the youngest and first woman to ever achieve this.” Jimmy said as you smiled and looked at the cheering crowd. “Its crazy, I never thought one day I could even hold a place in the top 100, and now I actually hold 3 places plus another 1st place for album of the country, Thank you all so much for supporting me, this would've happened if it wasn't for all of the people who supported my music, Thank you for giving my music a chance.”

“So actually the next billboard award show is tomorrow, and y/n, we heard you are going to be performing.. is that so?” Jimmy smoothly transitioned form question to question, topic from topic. “Yeah I was blessed to not only be nominated for an award but to also be invited to perform for the ceremony, I am so excited, It is an honor, it not my first time performing at the billboard’s but I have so much fun every time, hopefully the audience will like my performance and the other guest performers of the night, I can’t wait.

“What are you performing tomorrow y/n?”, “Shhh it’s a surprise Jimmy, I can give you a little spoiler, I am performing one of my new album’s songs, it is one of my favorite songs on it” You smoothly avoided actually answering what song you would be performing tomorrow. “Mhm okay how about you tell me in secret during the commercial break I have to know…” Jimmy insisted “Sure Jimmy I’ll tell you”. “Okay so guys let's go to a short commercial break, but don’t leave cause when we are back y/n will be performing live, don't you miss it!” Jimmy said and waved with you as the producer called for the commercial break. 

After the commercial break you got to perform one of your hit songs next to your back up dancers, you let yourself go to the music and enjoyed the performance; you really got lost in the music and dancing every time you had an audience, you loved this so much. After your performance you received a standing ovation form the people present on set, Jimmy went over from his seat to you, he congratulated and complimented you. He then guided you to your seat and gave you some water; he made some ads/sponsorship bits while you grabbed some air and while Meg retouched your hair and makeup while the cameras weren’t on you.

Jimmy then came back after another small break to proceed with the interview: “So y/n I actually wanted to talk to you about something really big” you made a face at Jimmy’s word choices (you had somewhat of a dirty mind) “Hahahaha, Don't make that face y/n, it's not what you think… God.. what a dirty mind you have; I meant I wanted to talk to you about something that recently happened and I’m sure everyone wants to have an update on'' Jimmy made himself clear. “Hahahaha oh, okay sure, tell me” 

“A couple of months ago you went viral on social media after you talked about BTS on one of your episodes, and your fans and ARMYs went crazy, not gonna lie even I got excited” As soon as you heard Jimmy say “BTS'' your face dropped making the audience giggle at your reaction, you started to get anxious. “Hah-, um yeah that happened, I didn't expect for it to become such a big thing tbh Jimmy” you said.

“So in the episode you got asked by one of your fans something about how you would want to meet them or something and you mentioned how you would like to meet then on a talk show… like this one” Jimmy said with a smug expression taking over his face. You quickly spoke before he could say something else “Omg Jimmy stop, I swear if I look behind this couch and BTS is hiding behind it I will have a heart attack, please don't play with me, I’m not ready, stop that''

 The crowd and Jimmy laughed at your cute panic. “Don’t worry y/n, no, I swear they are not there” Jimmy treasured. “IDK MAN, I’m gonna look behind the couch….” you dared; “Go ahead y/n” Jimmy fired back; this made you more nervous, you made a ‘I’m tough’ face at Jimmy and moved your body sideways, “If there is someone behind here I will run Jimmy, I. WILL. RUN. I don’t know where or how far but I will run out..” Jimmy and the audience laughed again and stopped as you looked behind the couch….. and…… there behind the couch…… there was…….. nothing. You started laughing as you went back to your original sitting position, the audience looking curiously at you. “Hahahaha ahhhh there is nothing there” whipping some laughing tears off the inner corner of your eyes you looked at Jimmy who was too laughing at you. “I told you y/n! ahahahah”

Jimmy looked at the camera and directed to the audience “For the people who don’t know what we are talking about and/or haven't seen y/n’s latest episode we have some clips for you” You looked at Jimmy and at the crew wanting to refuse due to your embarrassment, you felt exposed. The video played on the screen, the screen was split so that while the episode clips showed on screen your reaction could also be seen at the same time. Only a small trailer was played, which made you confused, you thought they would play the clips where you deeply talk about BTS…

The video stopped and the audience clapped, “Well that's just a small trailer of the full episode if anyone would like to go over and watch it it was pretty fun… I really enjoy ‘y/n’s camera roll’ episodes, I highly recommend” you smiled and appreciated the free proportion but you went anxious again as Jimmy spoke, “But y/n I actually have a small surprise for you, actually BTS saw your episode and reacted to it on camera…” You went stiff…. he said what???? BTS saw your video? they learned who your where?.... wait. THEY SAW THE VIDEO????? THEY SAW YOU FANGIRLING OVER THEM AND THIRSTING OVER JK AND HERD YOUR STUPID FANTASY????

 “OMG Jimmy no…. AHHH no….” You said as realization dawned on you and you covered your face with your hands.

“oh y/n yes… and we have the video of their reaction here, for the first time ever, an exclusive for the Tonight Show…. watch the screen y/n'' The screen was again split to show your reaction + the video. You lifted your face from your hands and held on to Jimmy’s hand on the desk, bracing yourself for further embarrassment and probable rejection. The video played: 

(BTS reacting to your episode. {the bullet points are your ‘present day’ reactions to BTS reacting to you})

The video started . “Oi, it’s y/n'' Jin immediately said as soon as your face appeared on their screen, “Is this a new episode?” Jimin asked out loud, “Wait what day is it? they normally go up on Friday, did we miss it?” Taehyung spoke.

“OMG no way, they know who I am, omg I’m crying Jimmy” You actually started tearing up and Jimmy squished your hands tighter as he read the subtitles added (you understood Korean).

“Hello everyone welcome to another episode of…. f** I don't even know what we call these videos, jajajaja” “Wait what?... jajajajaja omg guys thank you, I'm so sorry, yeah you heard them, welcome back to y/n’s camera roll, I can’t believe I forgot that, anyway today’s episode is a little different……” the boys chuckle at your genuine personality “hahaha gwiyeoun” (haha cute) Suga added, J-Hope agreeing with him as he gave Suga a piece of the food he was having. Kookie was currently watching the screen not even blinking, he hadn’t taken a bite out of his noodles or a sip out of his banana milk, Jimin noticed and pointed at him looking back at the guys with a silent laugh.

You kept crying and making faces reacting to them every time they spoke

“Hi, y/n, can I ask you another question?” “I saw that you liked an instagram post about BTS a while back uploaded by a fan account and I also saw that you actually follow their personal twitter account. ALSO in your behind the scenes video for your music video shoot you can be seen in the background dancing the Boy with luv choreo. So I wanted to ask if you were an ARMY and if you know them personally? and like should we be expecting a collaboration soon?”

“No way….Omg what she says she hates us” Jimin said. “Imagine if she said she hates us, is this why you guys are making us watch this?” Suga looked  at the staff.

“OMG I could never, NO omg how could I hate them” you commented wiping away your tears and back to squeezing Jimmy’s stretched hand on the desk

 “Can we keep watching hyungs…” Jungkook said looking around at the others, a bit desperate to find out what you said next. “Oi, wouldn't you want to know guki…” Jin teased him, wiggling his eyebrows and slapping the back of his head playfully. Before Jungkook could fight back RM reached over them and pressed play, preventing a ‘playful’ fight between the youngest and oldest member to take place.

You froze at the interaction between Jungkook and Jin… but kept watching not wanting to overthink it.

“OMG hahaha I love you so much, what an amazing question, Okay so first off no I don’t know them personally and sadly no plans of collaboration are on sight. Oh wow I have never been asked if I liked BTS before, I’m excited hahaha. Yeah I am an ARMY, I love them so much I am one of their biggest fans, and they are also one of my biggest inspirations when it comes to work ethic and professionalism, listening to them or watching them gives me motivation to keep doing what I love, which is this. anyway I am rambling I should stop; you guys can say y/n stop whenever I start rambling okay? hahaha''

RM stood up with hands on his head; Jin and J-Hope held on to each other with their mouths wide open looking at the screen; V was still sitting in the same spot, frozen, as if he was paused in time along with the now paused screen; Suga stood up with his hands on his mouth bouncing his knees lightly; Jimin reached to RM behind him and stretched his arms out with a ‘Did you hear that?’ expression; Jungkook leaned over the table and pulled the screen closer, he was smiling from ear to ear letting out a small “wow” under his breath, then he replayed your answer to listen to it one more time, rereading the subtitles under the video making sure he did not miss any words.

You chuckled at their individual reactions and resumed your crying at their reactions because you couldn’t believe they knew you and could be so cute towards a video of you

 “y/n Okay so, who is your favorite member?” “Well first off, I don't have a favorite member. I really mean it when I say this. I love them all equally and I love them all as a group. I don’t prefer one over the other or like one better.  I really do support them equally. I mean there is nothing wrong with having a bias, as long as you also respect the other members, hope that all made sense lol” Everyone seemed moved by your support towards them and nodded.

Again the boys reacted, they were so surprised they paused again and walked back and forth making sounds of excitement

Jimmy smiled proudly at you and helped you wipe a tear with a tissue 

“Y/n so you don’t have a favorite, but do you have a crush on any of them?, like if you could date one of them right now, which one do you pick?” A fan asked. “okay...well...Like I said just to be clear I don't have favorites amongst the group members, but I do have a type…. I consider one of them to be my celebrity crush”......“So in that case, if I had to pick someone that I would date in real life...i would say…. Jungkook” 

You put your forehead on Jimmy’s desk, you felt embarrassed, you knew what was coming, the audience was also reacting along and they got super excited at this part. You were scared over what BTS would think/say about this.

The. Guys. Went. Nuts. Jungkook immediately stood up and lifted his hands up in the air as if he had won an award, he paused the video and started smiling like crazy; 

A staff member spoke to Jungkook on the video : “How do you feel Jungkook?” He lifted his face from his hands and ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes were glossy and his smile wide. “I-I don't know what to say, I can’t believe it,” he said as he sat down looking  at the pause screen, looking at your still image. His hyungs patted him on the back; Jimin turned his head to the staff as he was rubbing JK’s back with one hand, “You know Jungook has had the biggest crush on y/n for so long now” Jimin told the staff. 

you completely froze, you started shaking, Jimmy was looking at you happily, the audience was going crazy, even the crew was invested in the k-drama worthy content. You went numb, you kept looking at the screen frozen.

Jungkook looked up and spoke to the staff: “Yeah I remember listening to her debut song for the longest time without really thinking about who the artist was. When her first studio album broke records I decided to look her up, I watched a video of her talking about the album and her experience as a new artist and I think ever since then I have had a crush on her; she is my ideal type”

Everyone was going crazy in the Tonight Show studio. EVEN Jimmy let go of you and stood up pacing around his desk, no one was expecting this. You came out of your trance as Jimmy shook you and you wiped more tears clouding your vision.

“Why is she your ideal type?” a staff member in the back asked JK. “Ha. um. well  I think my ideal type of girl is someone who is funny and has a bright and cool personality; someone who as soon as they step into a room they immediately light it up; someone who is goofy and isn't afraid to become a joke or mess up; A confident person; someone who isn't too girly or too boyish; someone who likes to learn new  things and from who I can learn new things too; someone who is younger than me; Someone who loves dancing and singing a lot, etc. And y/n is kinda all that and more tbh; 

You felt like you were dreaming… Totally forgetting you were on live television. The butterflies in your stomach felt more like birds. your heart pounding out of your chest and body glued to your seat.

The video of you time skipped again to the ‘fantasy’ answer’: “Okay so, my literal fantasy is to one day meet them at a talk show, you know how hosts like to surprise their guests with something/someone they like?, I believe Ellen has done it multiple times where she surprised a guest with their idol or celebrity crush, you know?” The group nodded, invested in your fake scenario “Well i would be invited to like the Jimmy Fallon Show, where he would just randomly surprise me with BTS. Then I would be given the opportunity to introduce myself and tell them how much I love and support them. I would also be able to show them my korean speaking skills, I learned Korean and Spanish back in school and I have never been able to actually use either them, lol, anyway...well after that we would all become really good friends, and we would collaborate and put out one or multiple songs for you guys. I mean that's basically it, I wish I could meet them, and become their friend and write songs with them, even produce songs with Suga or RM if I could'' 

you cringed at the sound of your voice, you were so embarrassed. The audience, crew and Jimmy found this and your reaction to be so adorable.

“What???? does she speak korean?” / “OMG Jungkook is she speaks korean marry her” / “OMG I wanna meet her now”  / “That's so cute” / “She is so cool” 

oMg, even after the video stopped you kept crying and sobbing, it almost felt like you had made it in life, you curled into a ball, you didn't care if you were live or not.

(end of video, camera was back to you and Jimmy only)

“y/n this is amazing, this was my first time watching the video too, how do you feel, hahahaha stop crying this is good y/n” He rubbed your hand and passed you a new tissue from his desk. You cleaned yourself up and accepted a new water bottle from a crew assistant.

“I- I’m at a loss for words Jimmy, I cannot even process it; I love them so much hahaha” You sniffed and looked at Jimmy innocently. “By the way I am so sorry for crying like this, ew I’m a mess right now, I so sorry for anyone watching” 

“No no, you are good, your fans love you and love to see the real you; right guys?” Jimmy said looking at the crowd and once again they all cheered for you, this made you happy and you smiled again. “Thank You all so much, thank you to anyone involved in the making of this reaction video and this segment of the show AND FOR WHOEVER ADDED THE SUBTITLES FOR THE STUDIO hahaha, I am so happy, I want to keep crying but I will compose myself for now and once I go home cry some more hahaha” 

“Y/N so obviously you are an ARMY, would you mind playing a small game with me?...” You nodded at Jimmy. “Okay so after the break we will be back  with y/n, and she will prove how big of an ARMY she actually is…”

Another commercial break was called, Meg again came over and cleaned you up, she fixed your hair and makeup and then made you change into some sneakers (you performed in heels), fresh sweatpants and a shirt that compliment your figure. Your manager told you that for the next segment you needed comfy clothes. You had so much in your mind right now you didn’t even question it.

“Okayyy and we are back everybody, so right now as you can see y/n has changed into a more sporty outfit, right y/n?” you looked at him and at the camera and answered back. “Yeah, i’m in my natural form now” you said as you modeled your comfy wear

“So today I will put your BTS knowledge to the test, I will play a snippet of a BTS song, to your right you have two buttons ‘dance button’ or ‘sing’ button; you can either dance to the part being played when you hit the dance button or keep singing the song if your hit the ‘sing’ button.” Jimmy challenged you as he explained the next activity, to the left of you a small table with both buttons and a mic was set up, you accepted and started the challenge; the game went like this; Dynamite, dance; Mic Drop, dance; No more dream, dance; Daechwita, sing/rap; the crowd was super hyped and Jimmy was loving your energy and the way you executed the songs perfectly, suddenly you recognized Euphoria being played, you clicked the sing button and you started to complete the lyrics as the music was switched to ‘karaoke mode’… you started to sing and suddenly you heard a voice behind you singing with you, and you couldn’t even turn around to prove yourself you were not mistaken, you knew that voice too well, the live audience was losing it, the crew looked excited, you went numb, you looked back and it seemed like a joke, a complete dream…..

The seven guys were coming out from behind the curtain, being led by Jungkook, he was singing the bridge of the song, mic in hand and just looking at you. Your knees gave out and you curled on your knees as you cried on your knees, ‘there is no way’, you could even begin to process what was going on, The boys were a little shy and stayed behind you as Jimmy lifted you from the floor and made you look at them.....

----

PART 4 > HERE

AHhhh I love this part hahahhaha

Hope you liked it. PArt 4 is up; please give me a lil <3 if you liked this. :) Xx

[wtfevenismypage]

Boy Band

request: Hi, Would you be able to fic based off Criminal Minds season 5 episode 22 “The Internet is forever” Where the fem reader fights off an unsub and Reid immediately falls for her?

Warnings: Mentions of death, cursing, mentions of fighting

“This is Doris Archer, she’s the third woman to go missing in Boise Idaho this year, along with Paula Renmar and Samantha Rush, they went missing roughly two months apart.”

JJ says, pictures of the disappearing women flashing on the screen at the round table as you look through their files. You hear footsteps enter the room, and spinning around, there’s Spencer, but his long hair has been chopped off and curled, as if he were in one direction or something.

He sits next to Hotch, glancing around at all of the eyes on him before Hotch speaks.

“What, did you join a boy band?”

You stifle a laugh as Spencer stares at him confused, his eyebrows furrowing a bit.

“No.”

God his voice is so adorable. 

You just smile at him as he looks to you for answers.

“Okay, so what are we looking at here, late twenties to early thirties?”

Emily speaks up, dragging the topic back to the missing women.

“All single, though two are in committed relationships, all living on their own.”

“What do we know about his M.O?”

“That’s why we were invited in. The abduction sites are pristine.”

“No DNA besides the victims, and there’s no sign of forced entry or struggle.”

“The question is, what he does while he has them.”

Thirty minutes later, you and the rest of your team (minus Penelope) are on the jet, discussing the case.

“Can someone explain to me, the appeal of using these sites,” Rossi asks, a smile spreading on all of your faces, “Eating sushi tonight. Yum. Boss is keeping me late at work. Grr.”

You laugh, returning to reading a book while the jet flies on.

-

-

-

-

-

You arrive at the police station finally, Walking up to a detective.

“Uh, detective Fordham.”

“Agent Jareau?”

“Yes, these are SSA Hotchner, Rossi, Y/L/N, and Dr. Spencer Reid.”

You wave at the man from the back with Spencer, you never shook hands with people because you started noticing people thinking Spencer was rude, so you did it with him, to make him feel less bad. 

“Have you found anyone willing to talk to us about the victims?”

You ask, standing with your posture straight up, to make you appear more sure of yourself.

“The problem wasn’t who to bring in, it was who not to.”

You look at him, confused, and he gestures to a long line of people outside the door.

“Oh boy. This’ll be fun.”

You say, sighing.

“Yep.”

-

-

-

-

-

We had to watch a woman die. You couldn’t help but clutch onto Spencer’s sleeve while Garcia tied her hardest to find out where it was, but it was worthless, she was gone.

You couldn’t joke after that, couldn’t even crack a smile. But now you, Emily, Spencer, and Morgan are on your way to Lucy Master’s house to protect her.

“Lucy Masters?”

“This is the FBI we’re coming in!”

You shout, walking into the eerily quiet house. You and your team check everywhere for her. 

“Clear.”

You yell out hopelessly. You knew already. You just knew. You were too late.

“She’s not here but her car is.”

“We were too late.”

Your tell Morgan, looking down in shame. The TV turns on to static, making you jump a little.

“Hey, it just went on by itself.”

What it shows you is horrible. Lucy Masters. Tied up by chains with two giant hooks next to her. a gag is tied around her mouth as she wriggles around. You point to a small device mounted on the TV.

“He’s recording us.”

Minutes later you’re back in the car with Morgan and Emily, listening to the directions Hotch has given you.

“1823 Hudson, we’re on our way.”

“Garcia it’s been three minutes since the footage went up live Lucy might not have that much time left.”

“I can buy you some. Now that I’ve got his physical address, I got my business all up in his.”

 After only a few minutes you arrive at the sight and you don’t waste a lick of time moving.

“Y/N wait!”

Spencer shouted. You knew he would be mad for not listening, but there is a woman dying right now and you have no time to wait around.

You storm in head first, barging into a room of freezing cold where two dead bodies hang.

And as soon as you see the unsub on the third woman, red fills your vision and you jump on him, tackling him to the ground.

“Asshole! Dumb fucking prick!”

You kept shouting insults and Spencer froze up.

He wasn’t surprised you got this mad, you always do after witnessing murders and catching the unsub is the only thing that can calm you down. It was one of the many reasons he was in love with you.

Wait. In love with you? Spencer was in love with you? For how long? He thought to himself in that moment, but he didn’t have time to answer. At this point, if you continued to beat the man up, he would die.

Spencer ran up to you with Morgan and yanked you off of the man, holding your wriggling and writhing figure back while Morgan took the man into his custody.

“Y/N! Calm down, it’s over! We got him and he’s going away for a very long time!”

When you finally did calm down, you let yourself relax into Spencer’s chest, his arms supporting you while you walked to the man.

“What do you see when you look at them?”

Emily asked. The man’s eyes dart around the room, staring at the women.

“You’ll never understand what I did. But out there, my followers? They understand.”

You felt your anger build up, and so did Spencer, but he didn’t bother stopping you at this point.

You decked him square in the nose, so strong you heard a crack from a breaking bone.

Spencer held back a smile before placing a hand on your lower back, guiding you out of the building.

When you returned to Quantico, you plopped down at your desk all day. Not really working, more so just thinking.

Spencer walked up to you, sitting on the edge of your desk.

“Hey, how you feeling?”

You sighed, plopping your head onto his lap.

“Ngh. Mad that I didn’t reach Lucy in time.”

“Hey, you saved her life.”

You chuckled, but it was dry, no emotion behind it.

“Physically? Yes, but she’s gonna be ruined emotionally. It isn’t easy to recover from that and she’s going to need years of therapy.”

He picked your head up, hopping off of the table and leaning down in front of you, your noses barely touching.

“Hey, she’ll be alright. Okay? Don’t beat yourself up.”

You nod, but neither of you move. He glances down at your lips, asking permission. And you lean in, pressing your lips on his.

It felt perfect. Your lips were made for his, warm and sweet tasting. And his lips were cool, the taste of coffee right on his tongue.

When you pulled away, you rested your forehead on his.

“Thank you.”

[littlesniggy]

Paranoia

This is a Dabi fanfic and it's way longer than anticipated and I don't know if you guys like it but it was on my mind the whole day and I kinda really wanted to write it. Hope you enjoy it.

Synopsis: Reader plays truth or dare and visits a website on the dark web. It goes all downhill from then on. Non-quirk AU.

Note: I have no idea how this whole thing with the dark web works so don't bother too much if it's wrong. Also, friends' reaction is a little weird but oh well. I'm also reeeeally bad with giving characters names so....yeah...you'll see.

Warning: Anxiety, mental abuse

Word count: 3.8k

It was a silly idea but you and your friends did this stupid truth or dare thing and now it was your turn. Since you’ve chosen truth the last time, now it had to be dare. One of your friends dared you to log into the Dark Web. You were confused since you had no idea on how you were supposed to do this. You were not really tech savvy nor have you been interested in visiting the deep, dark part of the internet before. But your friend assured you that he knew how to get access (how and why, you didn’t want to question) and that it was rather funny to see what kind of thing you could find there.

Reluctantly, you agreed, a mistake you would regret later. You opened your laptop, signed in and let you friend show you how to get access to a website on the Dark Web. Your other friends gathered around the two of you, watching with curiosity. “How do you know how to get in?” one of them wanted to know but he just shrugged, grinning to himself. “I got curious one day. Don’t worry.” He answered and the other cackled, taking another sip from their beer.

You weren’t so sure about this whole situation. Maybe it was because it was your laptop, maybe it was because you didn’t feel too keen on doing something ‘illegal’. Was it even illegal? Or was it just illegal to buy something from there? You had no idea. Nevertheless, was there a heavy lump in your stomach but you didn’t want to back down now.

He opened a link and a website opened. It didn’t look like much but it looked shady anyways. Your friends made wide eyes and pointed at a link and challenged you to open it. Your friend made room for you to sit in front of the screen, a huge grin on his face. “C’mon, Y/n! Open it!” they animated you and you gave in, clicking the link. A dark window opened with a chatroom. Messages popped up, a conversation between strangers.

You read the messages but didn’t do anything beyond it. “You need to say something, too!” your friends told you but you didn’t want to. “I don’t know…” you said but before you could say anything else one of them started typing. “Hey!” you yelled but were too late to push her away and prevent her from sending the short text.

I hope nothing shady’s going on here.

“Are you out of your mind? Why did you send that?” you demanded to know but she simple giggled. “Relax. It’s not like they’re gonna take this seriously.” Another one said but her eyes were glued to the screen, anticipating an answer. But there was none – at least not to your message. Instead, they went on with their conversation which was kind of boring to read. “Maybe this is just a normal website and he is just messing with us.” “Hey! This website is legit! I once saw one asking for child pornography!” he defended himself but the others were not convinced. “Sure. Let’s get goin’. It’s your turn with truth or dare anyways, Dai-chan.”

He mumbled to himself, annoyed that they didn’t believe him that this site was legit but let it go and put an arm around his girlfriend, moving back to the sofa with her, others following. Your eyes were still glued to the screen and you were about to close the window and forget about the who thing, when a small window popped up. It simply read:

Hope you join us again.

It’s been two weeks since you and your friends had this truth or dare night and after you closed the website and shut the laptop close the night went on pleasantly. You forgot about this whole ‘Dark Web’ and moved on with your life, by now also convinced Daisuke was messing with you guys.

You were sitting in class, listening to the professor talk about the history of capitalism, it’s pros and cons but you were barely listening. You were way more interested in this episode of “Haikyuu!!” your friend introduced you to and since then you were hooked. You listened to it with your earphones, not bothering to cover it up. You were emotionally completely invested in the game when a small window popped up, indicating a chat request. You had no idea which website this was coming from and ignored it, clicked the small ‘x’ and kept watching the episode.

A couple minutes later another message; this time you got curious. The website you were watching the episode at was none of those shady websites where half naked women were advertising for some porn website and women who were ‘less than a mile away’. So, this should be something different. A little hesitantly, you opened the chat box and a window opened, revealing a black screen with two bubbles – the two messages that had been sent before.

Hi.

You never came back.

You were confused and locked around the room. Everyone was either looking at their laptops, writing something down or flat out sleeping with their heads on the table. No one was looking your way.

Who are you?

It didn’t take long for the person to answer.

Are you bored?

He completely ignored your question but before you could type in a reply another message popped up.

Or why else would you be watching an anime during class?

You stopped dead in your tracks and stared at the screen. Your eyes darted around the room once again, you even turned around but no one was looking at you, not even a small glance. This must be a joke you thought to yourself and you gave a small huff.

Stop it, Daisuke. You can’t freak me out again.

No reply. Satisfied, you smiled to yourself and closed the window again, making a mental note to slap the shit out of him later.

“Why would you send me those creepy messages?!” you confronted Daisuke and he raised his hands in defense, confusion plastered all over his face. “What’re you talking about?” he wanted to know, his girlfriend holding on to his arm, looking similarly confused. “You sent me those creepy messages during class, didn’t you?” He chuckled nervously but shook his head no. “What messages are you talking about? He was with me the whole time.” She defended him and you huffed, not convinced. “Sure. You had your fun but please, don’t do this again. You almost gave me a heart attack.”

When you got back to your apartment, you took out your keys, unlocked the door, opened it and locked it behind you again. You were a little paranoid since you’ve moved here, a lot of break-ins happened in the neighborhood over the last couple of months. To top it all off, you lived on the first floor, easy access to your apartment from the sidewalk. But it was cheap and one of the few places you could actually afford with your crappy job.

Your shoes flew across the hallway and you made your way over to the small kitchen, checking for anything edible but to no surprised it was empty. A sigh left your mouth, not wanting to go out again and get something to eat. So, pizza delivery should do for tonight, even though it would be the third night in a row.

When the pizza finally arrived you sat yourself in front of your TV and watched some random series, not actually interested in the content itself but you needed the background noise to start your assignment later.

Your phone screen lit up, indicating a new message. You grabbed your phone but dropped it once your read the message. Your heart started racing, threatening to either burst out your chest or stop beating completely. Your body got cold and you started to shiver.

Do you like watching that shit?

You put the piece of pizza away and got up, storming from window to window, looking outside and the closing the curtains once you made sure no one was there. You stalked back to the sofa and picked up your phone from the floor, reading the message again. Surely, this had to be a joke, right? Your friends were just messing with you, right?

You opened the text with trembling fingers. You didn’t know the number that was displayed on top of the message. Maybe Daisuke bought a sim card just to scare you? But why would he do that? He wasn’t the type to do this, especially since his girlfriend would reprimand him for doing that.

Who are you?

Not a minute later you got a reply.

You can call me Dabi.

Dabi? Obviously, a fake name but you wouldn’t ask him for his real name. Hell, you didn’t want to answer him at all again and were tempted to just block this number. But the next message flew right in.

How you doin’?

Did he really try to do small talk?

Stop messaging me!

And that was it. No messages anymore. Maybe it was one of your friends after all. Still, the anxiety still remained.

In the middle of the night you woke up to your phone vibrating, the bright screen blinding you. You pressed your eyes together and opened them again, trying to recognize the number that was calling you at this ungodly hour. When your eyes got used to the brightness you looked at the scree – unknown number. Annoyed, you put the phone aside again and were relieved when it finally stopped ringing. The room turned dark again and you closed your eyes, ready to fall asleep again.

Your phone screen lit up once more, this time another text. You didn’t bother checking it and fell asleep instead, being consumed by complete darkness until the next morning when your alarm went off.

You didn’t check your phone until you sitting in a seat on the bus, surrounded by strangers who were on their ways to work as well. The small red symbol indicated a voice mail. You dialed the number to your voicemail and waited until the automatic announcement signalized the new voice mail. You tried to hear anything but there was just the rush of wind and a faint breathing. Then it was over. Confused, you deleted it, thinking it must’ve been an accident. But your mind wandered back to the night before and the texts. You checked the number from the texts and the one from the voicemail.

You could see the number that was used to text you but not the one from the missed call and the voicemail. So, you had no proof that it was the same number. It made you feel uneasy nevertheless.

What were you looking for?

The message came out of nowhere. The same number as last night. Why? Why was that person texting you? Hadn’t you made it clear that you wanted to be left alone?

Leave me alone.

It’s dangerous on those websites. Ye never know what people you might encounter.

You snorted. Yeah, people like you.

Like you?

It was bold of you to answer but by this point you were more annoyed by that person than scared. How fast your feelings could change…

Like me? I’m pretty harmless.

A short pause before another text came in.

What were you looking for?

He asked again, not leaving it alone. You were about to type in an answer when you stopped. Why didn’t you question it before? Why didn’t you question some stranger suddenly starting to chat you up on the dark web and not long after continued to text you on your phone? It clicked and you chuckled like someone who had just solved a mystery.

Good try but I know it’s you, Daisuke. Quit making up fake names.

You got off the bus and felt your phone vibrate.

What makes you think I’m Daisuke?

You shook your head in disbelief. Why was he keeping this act up? He was there when you entered this website, he was there when your friend sent this message to the group chat and he probably also saw the private message you got before closing the window.

Stop it already. I don’t trust the others doing that shit and you were there when we went on that stupid side. You just want to scare me.

No reply. Now, I’ve got you finally!

Would you believe me if I told you I’m not Daisuke?

This was getting ridiculous.

Please, just leave me alone. I’m about to start work. See you tonight and you better not text me again from this number. It’s getting annoying.

You were invited to a party at night, all of your friends were going as well. You were tired from work but didn’t want to miss out on the fun. You got ready at home. Tight jeans, a cute shirt and pumps – subtle but not too prude. You did your make-up in a cute but sexy way, highlighting your eyes and putting on lipstick. Content with your outfit you left the apartment once your friend’s car showed up, locking the door twice.

“Why would you keep texting me?!” you yelled at Daisuke when you met him at the party. He was making out with his girl, both already drunk. “What?” his eyes were unfocused when you hold your phone screen up in his face. He squinted his eyes to read the texts before he started chuckling. “Why woulddi texxxt you somethn’ like that?” he slurred, a derpy smile on his lips. Frustrated, you threw your hands in the air and stomped off, annoyed by this whole shenanigan. But okay, you would prove that it was him!

You walked off to the side where it was quieter, eyes on Daisuke and his girlfriend, and called the number from the text. It rang twice before someone picked up.

You froze in place. Daisuke was not holding his phone. Rather the opposite; his hands were occupied with moving under his girl’s shirt, groping her breasts shamelessly.

You didn’t dare speak up, a huge lump in your throat. You heard a slow breath from the other side of the phone but nothing more.

“You havin’ fun at the party, Y/n?”

You screamed and dropped your phone, clutching your hands together, bringing them up to your face. Your whole body trembled and you stared at the bright phone screen, the time counting up, indicating the still active call. A few people were looking at you bewildered but didn’t seem to care too much.

Slowly, you picked up the phone again, bringing it back to your ear.

“No need to scream.”

A dark chuckle resonated trough the phone. It sounded amused but it was more than unnerving.

“W-who are you?” You asked with a meek voice. You pressed your back to the wall behind you for support but unable to just hang up the phone.

“Rude to just forget someone’s name. Didn’t take you as this type of girl.”

Dabi, that was his name, you remembered.

“H-how did you get my number?” you demanded to know, insecurity almost oozing out of your voice. Another chuckle, this time a little more sinister.

“You really wanna know?”

Did you? Probably not, but you still answered yes.

“Not gonna tell ya.”

There was another pause before he started speaking again.

“The jeans look good on you. Turn around so I can take a better look.”

Your knees gave in and you started crying, phone clutching in your hand but not able to end the call. The people around you started to look worried and got closer, asking if you were okay.

“You’re usually not supposed to cry when receiving a compliment. You’re supposed to say ‘thank you’. Can you say thank you, Y/n?”

“Leave me alone!” you yelled at the phone and threw it across the room. It smashed against the opposite wall and you saw the screen go black. You pressed your knees against your chest, tears running down your face. Who was this man? Why was he watching you?

Your friends rushed over, worry written all over their faces. “Y/n! Y/n! What’s wrong?” they asked, some of them stroking your back but you couldn’t pull yourself together. The music had stopped and a cluster of people had formed around you.

“Someone is watching me…” you whispered so only your friends could hear. One of them grabbed your phone from the opposite wall and walked over towards you, phone in hand and ready to hand it to you.

“I don’t think it’s broken. You can probably just start it again.” He said and hold it out for you to grab. Hesitantly, you grabbed it but didn’t turn it on.

“C-can you just drive me home, please?” you asked your friend with teary eyes and shaky voice. Concerned, she nodded and helped you up. Some of them insisted on staying with you but you said no. You just wanted to barricade yourself in your apartment and only leave when it was bright outside again.

On your way home you turned on your phone but there were no new messages. But you were far from feeling relieved. Only once you were home and locked every door, every window and hid under your blanket would you feel somewhat safe again. But not right now, not when you were outside and still visible for anyone to see.

“I need to stop at the gas station real quick. You can wait here.” Your friend said and pulled up next to the entrance. She probably wanted to buy some cigarettes. You stayed in the car when your phone vibrated once again. Tears formed in your eyes again; you felt hopeless when you slowly opened the message. There was a picture. It was dark but there was light in the distance. You looked closer and recognized the place.

Without thinking you jumped out the car and started running. You knew you were close to your home, not too far away. You heard your friend call from the distance but you didn’t stop, just ran straight into the forest next to the station which would eventually lead you right to your home. Sticks scratched against your skin, thick roots of trees made you stumble but you always caught yourself.

Your phone started ringing and you could see that it was your friend calling. But you didn’t answer. Instead, you kept on running until you could see houses in the distance. Almost. Just a couple hundred yards.

You crossed the street, fumbling with your keys and needing more than one attempt to unlock the door, looking over your shoulder over and over again to make sure that there wasn’t anyone here.

Tears blurred your vision but finally you managed to unlock your apartment door and closed it right behind you, locking it as often as you could. Before you could feel at least some sort of relief you ran to the windows, checked if they were closed and closed the curtains. Then, and only then did you sink to the floor, starting to sob uncontrollably. Why was this happening? What have you done to deserve this? It was just a stupid dare, why is he targeting me?

A small buzzing sound led your focus to your phone. You didn’t want to look but you had to, regretting it instantaneously. A moan of agony made its way out of the depth of your body. You didn’t want to answer but your hand moved on its own.

“Glad you made it home safely.”

“FUCK OFF! I’M GONNA CALL THE POLICE!!!” you screamed, sure you woke up some of the other residents. Good, you thought. The more people awake the more likely it was that he didn’t do anything funny. His tone changed.

“No, you won’t.” he sounded self-assured, as if he knew exactly how you would behave.

“Cause if you do I have to hurt you.” He said it as if he was talking about the weather, nonchalantly.

“Y-You said you were harmless.” You argued, sounding pathetic. You crawled over the floor to the furthest corner of the room where you could watch the door to your apartment.

“Did I?”

He sounded musing as if he tried to remember.

“Guess it was a lie then.”

“What do you want?” you pleaded but you didn’t get an answer to your question.

“Are you sure you locked the door?”

The sudden question had you widen your eyes. Have you? Of course! It was the first thing you did! But did you really lock it?

“Maybe you should check it.”

You didn’t want to. Maybe he was standing right in front of your door, waiting for you to open it. But what if you didn’t lock the door? Anxiety took over your thinking and you crawled over to the door, checking the handle. Relieve filled your body when you realized it was, indeed, locked.

“Guess you locked it after all. Do you have your keys?”

Keys? You looked up at the small table where you usually kept your keys. No keys. Dread filled you and you wanted to curl up into a ball. Was he in your apartment? Your heard him chuckle again.

“Don’t worry. I don’t have your keys. You probably dropped them somewhere.”

Your eyes wandered over the floor and there they were, next to the bathroom door. How they got there was beyond you but you couldn’t care less. They were there and that was all that mattered.

“Leave me alone. Please!” a high pitched voice you didn’t recognize as your own echoed through the apartment.

“Leave me alone.”

He mocked you.

“But okay. I will leave you alone. If you can tell me where I am right now.”

It clicked and he had hung up. Your head shot up and you looked around. He was in here! You knew it! Or was he messing with you? But how did he know where your keys were? He could’ve guessed. But you should’ve been able to hear him if he actually was in your apartment. He just wanted to make you more and more paranoid.

You got up, knees weak and barely supporting your body weight. Fear clung to your body like a second skin and you tried to keep your mind from racing a thousand miles a minute by telling yourself that he was bluffing. Still, you moved from room to room, turning on the lights and checking every single room.

No one in sight. He’s not here. You felt a burden fall off your back and relief flooded your senses instead. He was just bluffing.

You slowly calmed down but didn’t go to bed until you couldn’t keep your eyes open again. You were almost asleep when your phone vibrated on the night stand. You were too tired to open the message and instead drifted into a dreamless sleep.

You forgot to check the closet.

[calwrites]

The Masked Singer (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Summary: The team has become obsessed with The Masked Singer, an extremely silly singing competition about trying to guess what celebrity is singing behind a mask. Imagine Spencer’s surprise when he hears a familiar voice.

Warnings: none (unless you count bad writing lol)

Word Count: 6.2k

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Spencer wasn’t quite sure how it happened, but it had. The team was obsessed with The Masked Singer. One morning, JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia had been talking about it before they had to brief a new case. Apparently they had found the first season online after they had too many glasses of wine and had made it through half the episodes in one night.

“It’s just trying to guess what famous person is singing while wearing a mask?” Morgan had asked. “That doesn’t sound very hard.”

“Yeah it should be obvious, but it’s not and that’s what makes it so addicting. They disguise their voices when they talk and they give you these cryptic clues about who they are.”

Emily nodded along to Penelope’s point. “Plus the judges’ guesses are everywhere, which doesn’t help.”

“Maybe you should watch, Morgan. Put those profiling skills to use,” JJ teased.

Derek was opening his mouth to respond when Hotch walked into the room. “Unfortunately, we have a case that needs our profiling skills.”

Spencer thought that would be the last of it. They spent the next few days tracking down another serial killer, and he was looking forward to relaxing on the jet on the way home. Maybe he’d read for a bit if no one wanted to play chess with him. What he wanted more than anything, though, was to be able to go home to Y/N. But he couldn’t.

His thoughts of you were interrupted by Penelope popping up on a screen. “I have a wonderful surprise for my favorite crime fighters.”

“Well don’t just tease us, baby girl,” Derek prompted when Garcia paused for dramatic effect. Instead of answering, Garcia started playing something on another screen.

“Oh there was a new episode on last night,” Emily said excitedly. “No one looked up who was unmasked, right?” After getting verbal confirmation that no one had looked up who was unmasked the previous night, Emily and JJ gave the rest of the team a short rundown of who had already been sent home.

“And people actually agree to do this?” Rossi asked in disbelief when they were done. The girls ignored him, focusing instead on the show. Rossi and Morgan shrugged at each other, but Spencer could tell that they were both a little curious about the show.

“I know Donny Osmond, and that is definitely Donny Osmond,” Rossi yelled approximately twenty minutes later. “Just look at how he walks.”

“I think it should be cheating for Rossi to guess when he might actually know some of these people,” Derek complained. Emily and JJ both nodded in agreement, so Derek turned to Hotch. “Hotch?”

“It’s cheating.” Hotch was trying to seem like he wasn’t also paying too much attention to the show, but he wasn’t doing a very good job. Rossi threw his hands up and started arguing his case, but JJ shushed him as the clues for the next performer started.

And just like that, the team had a new tradition. Garcia would play any episodes they missed when they were on the jet on the way home from a case. If they were without a case when there was a new episode, they would get together at someone’s house, usually Rossi’s, to watch it as it aired.

Emily and Derek were probably the best at guessing correctly, but Rossi sometimes had the advantage of actually knowing the celebrity behind the mask. Hotch and JJ blamed their incorrect guesses on not having time to stay up to date on celebrities because of their kids. Most of the time, Spencer didn’t even bother guessing. He had no idea who most of the celebrities were, but he enjoyed watching as the rest of the team got into trying to figure it out. Garcia had been banned from guessing after the team found out she was doing her own research. She had tried to argue that if they could use their super profiling powers, she could use her internet sleuthing powers, but the others weren’t having it.

Spencer had mentioned the show to you when you two were on the phone chatting before he went over to Rossi’s for the season 2 premiere. Curious about the show that managed to captivate and puzzle actual FBI profilers, you had decided to start watching on your own. Now, you and Spencer discussed the show whenever you had both watched the new episodes. It was nice having something new besides work to talk about. Of course, you, like Rossi, had the advantage of actually knowing some of the celebrities.

“How did you know it was Sherri Shepherd?” Spencer asked you after he got back from Rossi’s one night. “You said you knew it was her from the first time you heard her sing.”

You laughed at the frustration in your boyfriend’s voice. More than anything, you wanted to be cuddled up with him on the couch. But you were on opposite coasts, so imagining his furrowed brow would have to do. “I’ve met Sherri Shepherd. I’ve been on The View. Or did you not watch that interview?”

You were just teasing him. You knew that Spencer watched every interview you did. He was the most supportive boyfriend ever, even though you knew that some of the answers you had to give in interviews hurt him. Every time you were asked about dating, you had to give an answer like ‘No one special,’ ‘Not looking for anything right now,’ ‘Too busy to start anything.’ Truthfully, you were too busy to start a new relationship. You were constantly filming a new movie, doing press for a new movie, or getting ready for a new movie. Plus, you already had a boyfriend. Why would you want another one?

It was hard being away from Spencer so much, but you both knew that it was what was best for your career right now. You had met Spencer when you were a struggling actor who had just finished filming your first major movie. Now, you were an Oscar winner who was constantly getting offers. Spencer had told you that you needed to take advantage of those offers to really cement your place in Hollywood. You had both decided that the best way to keep each other safe, from both the media and psychopaths with grudges, was not to go public with your relationship.

----------------

It was over three years ago. You had just finished filming in DC. Most of the cast and crew had already gone back to LA or wherever they called home, but you had decided to stay in DC for a few more days to unwind before going back to your empty apartment in New York. It was probably about time to accept the fact that you should move out to LA, but you preferred the East Coast to the West.

You wandered through a park, when a cluster of chess tables caught your eye. More specifically, one man sitting at the chess tables. He looked to be about your age, but what made you watch him was the way he was playing three games at once. And winning them all. When the games were over, his opponents all grumbled as they walked away, leaving the man looking at the boards almost sadly.

You knew how to play chess, but you wouldn’t say that you were great. Still, you had to talk to this guy. So you sat down across from him, startling him as he replaced all of the pieces to their starting positions. He blinked at you in surprise instead of saying anything, so you took the lead, moving a pawn out first.

The two of you played in silence for a few turns. You smiled every time you caught him looking at you, and he blushed every time he was caught. He was cute. You quickly realized that you had no chance of winning, so you abandoned any sort of strategy and began moving pieces at random. You watched as he became more and more confused at your moves.

“It’s going to be a tie,” he said finally. His voice was lovely. “I mean, I could still win, but looking at our moves throughout the game, it seems most likely that it’s going to be a tie.”

“Is there any way I could win?” Truthfully, you hadn’t even been expecting a tie, but you wanted him to keep talking.

He shook his head. “No. You actually had a decent chance of winning until I took your rook four turns ago. If you had moved your queen instead, then I would have had to move my knight, leaving my king open to check.”

You blinked at the man for a moment. “Do you remember every move we made?”

He nodded shyly. “I have an eidetic memory.” You had no idea what that was, but it sounded impressive. At your blank look, he launched into an explanation of an eidetic memory and how it was different from a photographic memory. You weren’t really sure what he was saying, but you liked listening to him.

“So, it’s probably going to be a draw,” he finished shyly, painfully aware that he had just spent way too long explaining something to you that he hadn’t asked him to explain. To his surprise, you grinned at him, taking his breath away.

“Well, I was going to say that if I win you have to tell me your name, and if you win I have to tell you my name. Since it’s a draw, I guess we’ll both have to tell each other our names. I’m Y/N.” You stuck out your hand, but he looked at it awkwardly.

“Considering how many pathogens are passed during a handshake, it’s actually safer to kiss. I’m Spencer,” he continued quickly as a blush spread across your cheeks.

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Spencer. Honestly, I feel a little bit like I cheated. I started moving pieces randomly after about three turns.” Spencer looked shocked at your admission before he started laughing. “To make it up to you, can I buy you dinner tonight?” You were a little shocked at your own confidence, but thankfully Spencer seemed to like it.

“Only if I can buy you a coffee now.” You had agreed, obviously. The two of you spent the rest of the day together, getting to know each other. By dinner, it was like you had known each other forever. You had stayed in touch when you had to go back to New York. Spencer didn’t have a lot of free time, but you didn’t have any jobs at the moment, so you went down to DC whenever possible.

You and Spencer had only been officially dating for two weeks when your movie premiered. You weren’t ready for the media to scrutinize you two, and Spencer wasn’t ready for his coworkers to profile you, so you had agreed to keep your relationship on the down low.

Then you name blew up. The reviews for your movie, and your performance in particular, were glowing. People started suggesting an Oscar nomination for you. You started getting offers for roles your couldn’t refuse. So you packed up your life in New York and moved out to LA. You and Spencer talked all the time. He had even started texting you. Plus, you flew to DC whenever possible to be with him, even if it was just for a few hours. But it was still hard for you two to be apart for so long.

----------------

The season premiere of Masked Singer is tonight. Maybe you guys can watch it on the plane.

 Spencer read your message and smiled. You knew it had been a tough case without him even having to say it. Sometimes he thought you could read his mind. You had a way of always knowing what he needed, even when he didn’t know.

 A new season of their favorite show was just what the team needed. Spencer sent a quick text to Penelope to ask if it was possible for them to watch the show on the jet as it aired. She had responded not to underestimate her, which worried Spencer slightly.

 The team sat in silence for a few minutes, the engine the only sound, until the screens came to life and the opening for The Masked Singer appeared. “I forgot this was coming back tonight,” JJ sighed in relief as the rest of the team smiled at the show. They settled in, ready to start trying to profile the celebrities in wacky costumes.

“And now, our very own royal contestant: The Queen,” the host said as a new clue package began to play. Spencer stiffened as The Queen began to talk. Despite the voice modification, Spencer could recognize the way you spoke. Your word choice. Your cadence. Even the way you walked onto the stage. Everything screamed Y/N. Spencer couldn’t help but smile at the mask you had chosen. It was like the top of the queen chess piece. Not the mention the tight white costume looked great on you. What would really confirm Spencer’s theory was your singing, so he waited with baited breath and hoped no one on the plane would notice his sudden heightened interest.

“If I should stay, I would only be in your way.” Spencer’s breath caught.

“Aww. Whitney,” Derek exclaimed. The rest of the team joined in with similar comments of surprise and joy as the music joined your voice on screen, but Spencer was too focused on you to notice them.

As he watched, it was like the cape on your shoulders turned into the blanket he kept on his couch that you had wrapped around yourself. The microphone became a spatula that you held to you mouth instead of using it to flip the pancakes, belting this very song much to his neighbors’ annoyance. It was a scene he was used to, having seen it many times.

“That was amazing. There’s no way you’re not winning this season. But I have no idea who you are,” one judge said when you were done. The other judges echoed similar thoughts before they all started throwing around some possible names. Spencer smiled to himself as his teammates were similarly confused. No one mentioned your name. And they probably never would.

You were very insecure about your singing voice, though Spencer often told you that you shouldn’t be. However, you never even mentioned singing in any interviews, and you didn’t sing in front of anyone that wasn’t Spencer.

“So what brought you onto The Masked Singer?” one judge asked.

“I’m actually a big fan of the show, but the real reason was because it’s my boyfriend’s favorite show. I wanted to surprise him.” Your voice shook nervously as you spoke. Spencer couldn’t tell if it was because you had stage fright or because you had publicly announced that you had a boyfriend for the first time. Not that anyone knew it was you. You and Spencer had been talking about going public with your relationship for a few months now, but you had both always found reasons to keep putting it off. Spencer knew what you were doing. Once you were unmasked, you would have to acknowledge that you had a boyfriend.

Of course, some part of Spencer’s mind reminded him that all of this was filmed in advance. There were people somewhere who knew that you were The Queen and that you had a boyfriend. Spencer just hoped that the NDAs that they had signed were enough to keep that from getting out before the episode aired. Not that he had time to worry about that. You were still talking to the judges.

“Do you think he’s going to be surprised when you’re unmasked eventually? Not that that’s going to happen any time soon.”

“Definitely not. He probably knew it was me the minute I walked on the stage. Plus, he has to hear me sing all the time when I’m home.” It made Spencer’s heart soar hearing you refer to his little apartment as home. You spent more time in your Beverly Hills house than his apartment, but whenever you talked about going home, Spencer knew you were talking about getting back to DC. Getting back to him.

As the rest of the team continued to discuss guesses about your identity, Spencer pulled out his phone to text you.

The Queen sounded amazing.

Spencer knew that, wherever you were, you would smile when you read that text.

----------------

Pretty soon, the new episodes of The Masked Singer were the highlight of Spencer’s week. He was always antsy when they couldn’t watch an episode when it aired, desperate to make sure that you hadn’t been eliminated yet. He loved watching as your confidence in your voice and you stage presence grew.

Surprisingly, it was after you did a cover of Heart of Glass by Blondie that the switch flipped. Spencer could pinpoint the moment it happened. Your performance became electric and there seemed to be a pull, even in the jet, that drew everyone to you.

Spencer had seen it happen before. About a year after you had started dating, you and Spencer had met up in New York for a weekend. Spencer was in awe of the way you managed to seem completely normal, allowing the eyes of all the tourists to slide right over you, despite the fact that your face was on a billboard in Times Square.

The two of you were eating lunch in a pizza restaurant. Spencer had wanted to do research to find the best place to eat, but you had pulled him into a random place. Although he hated to admit it, the pizza was really good.

It was easy to hear the conversation of the two girls, high school students if Spencer had to guess, in the nearly empty restaurant. Spencer saw the look of joy on your face when you realized that the girls were talking about your movie. You both had to smile that they were now talking about how obsessed they were with you when they had walked past you a minute ago without even realizing it.

You looked at your boyfriend with an unspoken question in your eye. Spencer nodded his head at the girls, letting you know that he didn’t mind if you went over to talk to them. As you stood up, it was like the air around you changed. There was no difference in the way you held yourself. If Spencer believed in things like vibes, he would have said that you just started giving off a different vibe. Suddenly, everyone’s eyes were on you.

You spoke to the girls for a few minutes before taking some pictures with them and returning to your table. You seemed unaware of the effect you had on everyone, but Spencer couldn’t shake a strange feeling. It was like for the first time he had seen Y/N Y/L/N instead of his girlfriend Y/N. When you finally got Spencer to tell you what was bothering him later that night, you had confided in him that you often felt intimidated when he talked about his job.

The two of you had grown past that as your relationship went on, but it was strange seeing the effect that you had on his friends.

The closest he got to spilling your secret was the next week. As you got closer to the finale, the competition began heating up. In an effort to prove that you were more than just a good voice, you had chosen 1,2 Step, complete with your own twist on the iconic, according to you since Spencer didn’t really know, choreography from the music video.

“She has some serious stamina,” Emily commented as you got through the rap flawlessly despite all of the dancing you were doing. Spencer knew all about your stamina.

“And look at how her body moves. She can dance.” Spencer’s fist clenched at Derek’s comment. He knew that Derek didn’t mean anything by it. Your body moved fluidly through the dance. It was easy to see in the tight costume you wore. But something seemed to burn inside Spencer as he watched Derek watch you. He wanted nothing more than to tell Derek that last weekend he had used his stamina to keep you up until the early hours of the morning.

But Spencer stopped himself. You had said that you had a plan for telling people about your relationship. He just had to wait for you to put that plan into motion.

The judges were still clueless about your true identity, though Spencer still thought that all of the clues should have made it extremely obvious. Still, it was amusing listening to their guesses.

“I think-no, I know who this is.” Spencer settled in, ready to hear Ken Jeong’s latest wild guess. Last week he had been sure that you were Leona Lewis and the week before it was Mariah Carey. “This is Y/N Y/L/N.”

Spencer tried not to react as everyone in the jet, and on the screen, shook their heads at Ken’s guess.

“Y/N doesn’t sing,” one judge told Ken as another said, “Y/N’s not a singer. No way.”

“But Y/N won an Oscar for her role as a queen. Plus, and stay with me here, in the clue package we’ve seen things about agents. She has an agent, who gets her roles and probably got her on this show, so welcome to the show Y/N Y/L/N.”

“The Queen is in a long term relationship, and Y/N isn’t dating anyone,” one judge pointed out. The other two judges nodded along, so Ken gave up his fight. Spencer realized that, if anything, Ken guessing it was you would convince people that it couldn’t possibly be you.

“Hey, Spence, didn’t you have a little celebrity crush on Y/N Y/L/N?” JJ asked as the commercials started. The rest of the team turned to look at him. Spencer tried to hide his blush, but the smirk on Derek’s face told him it wasn’t working.

“Yeah,” Emily continued, “You go to see all of her movies. Multiple times.”

Spencer tried to shrug nonchalantly. “I just think Y/N is a good actor.” Luckily, the team soon lost interest in teasing Spencer, so he could focus on texting you about your performance.

----------------

“Thank goodness we finished in time to catch it.” Everyone nodded in agreement to Emily’s statement. They had just finished another case earlier that day and had made it to the jet in time to watch the finale as it aired. The team settled into their seats and quickly began sorting out their bets about who was who and who would win.

“Reid, you want in?” Rossi asked. So far, Spencer had abstained from all of the betting about the show they did. But now he wanted to have a little fun with his team.

“I think The Queen will win.” Most people nodded. That was a popular opinion. “And I think The Queen is Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Oh c’mon, kid. You’re just as bad as Ken,” Derek complained, but he was smiling. Spencer felt slightly guilty. He knew that he was at least partially right. He had been tempted to ask you whether you win, but held himself back. There was no doubt that you signed some NDAs, so you really weren’t supposed to tell him.

Spencer had a hard time caring about the other performances. He was looking forward to hearing you again and to seeing the faces of his friends when he was right about your identity. Finally, the other two finalists had gone and it was your turn.  Unsurprisingly, your performance was amazing. The best of the night in Spencer’s slightly biased opinion.

Spencer was so relieved when third place was announced and it wasn’t you. Some celebrity he didn’t know took their mask off. There was some exchanging of money among his friends. But then it was time to announce the winner.

“And so, the winner of this season of The Masked Singer, who will go home today with The Golden Mask trophy is,” the host paused for dramatic effect. Spencer had to remind himself to breathe. “The Queen!”

Spencer breathed a sigh of relief as he watched you jump up and down onstage before being ushered to a throne where you would watch the runner up take off their mask. It was another celebrity Spencer didn’t know and didn’t care about.

“I guessed Miley Cyrus when you sang Jolene a few episodes ago. I don’t think that’s right, but it’s the best guess I have, so I’ll go with Miley,” one judge said when it was time for their final guesses. This was it. You were about to be unmasked. Spencer wasn’t quite sure why he was so nervous. You had won! And he already knew that it was you under the mask.

The other three judges threw out their final guesses, but no one was very sure of themselves. Except Ken, who confidently said, “It’s gotta be Michelle Obama,” earning lots of laughs from everyone watching.

“Well, let’s see who it is. Take it off. Take it off.” The host started the chant, which the audience and judges quickly took off as you pretended to struggle to take off your mask. Spencer found himself joining in with the rest of the team as they chanted too.

And finally, you removed your mask and Spencer could see your beautiful face. As great as you looked standing on the stage with your hair and makeup perfectly done, Spencer couldn’t wait until you were back home in a week and he could see you huddled on the couch wearing pajamas.

Chaos erupted, both on the screen and on the plane. It seemed like no one could believe that it was you. The rest of the team was too busy yelling in shock that they didn’t notice the look of absolute adoration Spencer was giving you.

“This might have been the most shocking reveal in Masked Singer history,” the host said into his microphone as the judges and audience began to calm down. “I mean, no one even knew you sing, Y/N. Why did you decide to come on The Masked Singer?”

You laughed uneasily into the microphone. Spencer could tell that you were feeling equal amounts of joy and nervousness. It was understandable, he thought. You had just won a singing competition despite having never sang in public before.

“I’ve always loved to sing, but I’ve never had much confidence in my voice. I’d love more than anything to be in a big movie musical. I guess I was hoping that this would be a good place to build my confidence.”

“You have an absolutely amazing voice,” one judge said. You ducked your head shyly, smiling slightly at the ground before looking back up at the judges. “I think after people see your performances you’ll have no problem doing a musical. I mean, you tackled so many different genres, and you sounded amazing doing all of them.”

You thanked the judge before turning to the others. A smile remained on your lips as they all congratulated you, but Spencer could tell from the way you kept shifting your weight that you were uncomfortable with all of the attention.

“Wait so you said that one reason you did this show was that it’s your boyfriend’s favorite show?” Spencer’s heart fluttered as he watched your smile grow at the mention of him. “That really threw me. I didn’t know you were dating anyone.” The other judges agreed.

“Yeah my boyfriend and I have been together for over two years. We’ve just kept it a secret.”

“Well the secret is out now.”

“You still don’t know who he is though,” you pointed out. The judges laughed and agreed.

“Whoever is dating her is a lucky man,” Rossi commented as the show wrapped up. Spencer tried not to let his heart skip a beat. What would his team think when they found out about you two?

---------------- 

“I still can’t believe that The Queen was Y/N Y/L/N,” JJ sighed. The team was in the elevator on the way up to their floor. They all needed to drop some stuff off, but Hotch had told them that no one was allowed to stay late tonight. They needed to get home and relax.

“I can’t believe she managed to have a secret boyfriend for over two years without the media finding out,” Emily added. “You know Garcia is probably already trying to uncover the mystery man.”

The team laughed as the elevator doors opened. Spencer made a mental note to warn you about Garcia. He had already texted you to congratulate you, but he missed you. You were supposed to finish filming in a few days and then you’d be back home in about a week. Still, Spencer was a little bummed that you would miss your third anniversary, which was actually tomorrow.

“Hey, Pretty Boy, who’s at your desk?” Derek asked.

It took Spencer a moment to really understand what he was seeing. It didn’t quite make sense in his brain. Every time you got home, you would immediately shower (to wash off the airplane germs), throw on one of Spencer’s old sweaters and some leggings, and curl up on the couch with whatever book Spencer had left laying around until he got home. And now here you were, wet hair and all, sitting at his desk. He barely had time to admire the look of concentration on your face as you tapped at your phone, probably texting your agent.

“Wait, is that-” But Spencer didn’t let Emily finish.

“Y/N!” he called as he pushed through the doors into the bullpen.

Your head shot up at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice, a huge smile growing on your face. You dropped your phone onto the desk (your agent could wait) and rushed over to him. Completely ignoring the fact that his team was a few steps behind him, you threw your arms around Spencer, wrapping your legs around him too when he picked you up. He began to spin you around, causing you to shriek in glee.

Finally, he put you down. You started to move away, but he surprised you by putting his hands on either side of your face and connecting your lips. You smiled into the kiss, so happy to finally be back with your boyfriend.

“Does anyone else feel like they’re missing something?” You two broke apart at the sound his coworker’s voice. You smiled shyly at the man who had just spoke, Rossi you assumed, based on Spencer’s stories about his team.

“Everyone, I’d like you meet Y/N. My girlfriend.” The team looked between Spencer, who was looking at you like you were the only thing that mattered, and you. You could feel the blush on your face, but that didn’t stop your own goofy love-struck grin.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you guys,” you finally said. “I’ve heard so much about you all.”

“We can’t say the same,” the blonde, JJ, slowly replied. You could feel Spencer shift uncomfortably beside you, before he pulled you even closer to his side.

“That’s my fault,” you said before Spencer could say anything. “I wanted to keep our relationship a secret so it didn’t get out to the media.”

“That’s not entirely true,” Spencer corrected you quickly. “I wanted to make sure that Y/N didn’t get targeted by anyone because of my job. She didn’t want anyone targeting me because of her job. It was a mutual decision.”

“And you couldn’t even tell us?” JJ asked. You could tell, even without knowing her, that she was hurt. You knew that she was Spencer’s best friend, so it was understandable. In fact, every face was looking at the two of you with some mixture of confusion, surprise, and hurt.

“I didn’t want to risk it,” Spencer said uncomfortably. “I figured that the more people who knew, the more likely it would be to get out. Y/N already had to tell some people, so I didn’t want to add to the list.”

“I only told my agent, my assistant, and my security team. And I only told my security team because they thought they caught Spencer trying to break into my house one day.”

Spencer’s face went bright red as he remembered that failed surprise. “I think we need to hear that story sometime.” The rest of the team quickly agreed with Prentiss. It seemed, for now at least, they would let the whole secret thing go.

“What are you doing here?” Spencer asked suddenly. “Not that I’m not happy to see you. I am. You’re supposed to be in LA filming.”

You grinned mischievously at him. “I managed to get the filming schedule rearranged a bit, so I could finish early. I shot my last scene this morning, then went straight to the airport. I wanted to surprise you, so we could finally spend an anniversary together.”

“When do you leave again?” The softness of Spencer’s voice broke your heart. He was preparing himself for you usual answer. You’d be here for a week or two and then have to leave again. But not this time.

“Not for months.” A smile of disbelief spread across Spencer’s face. “I’ll have to go to LA and New York for a few days here and there, but nothing long term. I want to be here with you.”

The two of you had, once again, forgotten that Spencer’s team was standing in front of you. It was so easy to get wrapped up in one another when you were both used to being alone together.

“Did I hear something about an anniversary?” Rossi asked, shaking the two of you out of your little bubble.

“It’ll be three years tomorrow.” You grinned up at your boyfriend. It was the first anniversary you would get to spend together.

“Let me host a dinner for you,” Rossi offered. “I’ll make one of my famous meals. We can break out some nice wine that I’ve been saving for a special occasion.”

Spencer began to shake his head, but you grabbed his arm and gasped. “Spencer please,” you begged. “You know I’ve always wanted to go to a dinner at Rossi’s place. You only talk about them all the time. Please. Please. Please.” Spencer finally gave in to your pleading, nodding reluctantly.

You hugged him in excitement before moving to properly introduce yourself to his friends. As you chatted with them, you could hear the clicking of approaching heels.

“My favorite crime fighters will be unhappy to know that I haven’t been able to find anything about Y/N Y/L/N’s secret boyfriend.” You looked up at the brightly dressed woman, definitely Garcia, who had just walked into the bullpen.

“Actually, baby girl, I think we figured that one out ourselves.” Garcia looked up from her phone at Derek’s words. Her eyes widened as she saw you standing among her coworkers.

“Wha-? Who? How? What?” she stammered. In response, you grabbed Spencer’s hand, pulling him closer to you. He wrapped an arm around you, grinning apologetically at Garcia. “Spencer Reid, I would be so mad at you if I wasn’t so happy about meeting Y/N.” Without wasting another second, she rushed over and hugged you. You laughed at the look of jealously on Spencer’s face as you were taken from his arms. This would take some getting used to.

---------------- 

You smiled happily, watching Spencer’s friends laugh at a story you had just finished. “I think this was a much better anniversary than burning dinner and then ordering takeout would have been,” you whispered to your boyfriend. Rossi’s food had not disappointed. Nor had his wine. You were feeling comfortably warm as you cuddled up with your boyfriend.

“It’s what we would have done after dinner that I was looking forward to.” You tried not to shiver at Spencer’s words.

“There will be plenty of time for that,” you reminded him. “I’m glad I’m getting to know your friends. They’re so important to you.”

“I’m glad they’re getting to know you. I think you all will be friends. That might not be good for me though.” You laughed at the embarrassed look on your boyfriend’s face. His friends had plenty of embarrassing stories about him, so you had been swapping stories all night.

It was easy for the team to see how absolutely in love the two of you were. Even if they hadn’t been profilers, the looks you two shared were so obvious. What had surprised them was how open Spencer was to your touch. In fact, he was the one initiating most your contact. You had been prepared to control yourself for the sake of Spencer’s professionalism, but he didn’t seem to have the same thought. Any time he could, he would grab your hand or wrap his arms around you.

That was how you had gotten to be cuddled up next to him. After dinner, the party had moved outside. You had been heading for a seat in between Emily and Penelope when Spencer’s hand had reached out and grabbed yours, pulling you onto the outdoor sofa beside him. Not that you were complaining. So you had stayed like that the rest of the night, leaning comfortably into your boyfriend’s side.

A couple weeks later, you posted a picture that Penelope had taken of the two of like that onto your social medias. It was time to introduce the world to your boyfriend.

[nerdyfangirl67]

Everywhere But On - Criminal Minds Reader Insert

Pairing: Spencer x reader

Warning: Angst (so sorry guys but I’ve been riding the angst train lately and this one doesn’t have a fluff ending), language

Word count: 2028

The reader comes to realize that despite the way Spencer acts around her, he doesn’t feel for her any more than as a friend. She can’t move on, so she finds herself traveling, where she realizes that she will always love him.

A/N: Okay you guys, this one just came to me after listening to Everywhere But On by Matt Stell. I am sorry for the angst ending but I just couldn’t bring myself to write another fluff ending because sometimes shit happens and it doesn’t work out the way we want. Also, I did a little crossover, you have to really squint, so I hope ya’ll are okay with it. As always, I love requests and would gladly write something you guys want to see!

“I love you but I’m not in love with you.” The words float around in your head on constant repeat, relentless in their torment, just as they have been for the past three months. Those words would hurt coming from anyone, but they hurt all the more coming from your best friend, with whom you had been quietly in love with for the last year.

It wasn’t something that happened all of a sudden, your love for Spencer. But it was something that you had identified one casual Saturday while binge-watching Doctor Who with Spencer at his apartment. Sure, you knew you loved him as a friend; that much was obvious and had been for quite some time. What you hadn’t realized, at least until that Saturday in February, was that you had gone from loving him to being in love with him.

And if someone had asked you what it was that you loved about him, you would struggle to find specific things you loved about him. Because truthfully, you loved him for all that he was, is, and could be. You loved each part of him separately and you loved him as a whole. You had never loved someone so deeply and wholly before, and despite the fact that this should scare you, you couldn’t find yourself anxious for any reason when you had realized you were in love with Spencer. 

You weren’t scared about being in love with Spencer Reid because you had never once felt as though he didn’t already love you.  Sure the two of you would goofily sign ‘I love you’ to each other at random moments, but neither of you had ever said that you were in love with the other. Everything you did for each other echoed the feelings you shared for the other. Yet, despite knowing all this, you couldn’t be sure if he loved you the same way you loved him. Because of that, and an increasing, irrational fear that you might actually lose Spencer, you decided to tell him, a decision you would come to regret for a long time.

You had naively thought if you told him, he would be excited, maybe even pull you in for a hug (which he never did outside of either your apartment or his) or a kiss (if you were really lucky) and tell you he felt the same way. Instead, he responded with ten little words you would never forget. 

“I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Simple words really. Yet you hadn’t been expecting, nor prepared, for them and they left you reeling. You hadn’t known how to respond so you had nodded your head quickly, already feeling the tears forming in your eyes, and ran. You barely stopped to grab your purse from your desk, completely forgetting about your jacket, before dashing out of the building. You hadn’t gone home, for fear that Spencer might have decided to explain himself, which you were sure he would try to do and was waiting for you at your apartment as a result. So you had waited until you knew Spencer would be at work, having already called Hotch and requested your vacation time, before you returned to your apartment. You didn’t stay long, just long enough to pack a suitcase, before you were back in your car, driving without a destination. 

——-

You hadn’t planned on being gone a long time, just enough to clear your head and figure out how to get over your very unfriendlike feelings for Spencer. But a week quickly turned into two, which soon became three weeks, and then a month which soon became three. 

You spent your time putting space between you and home, or more specifically you and Spencer, going to all the places you had bookmarked on the Internet and pinned on Pinterest as “someday” activities. You saw the Grand Canyon and Niagra Falls. You visited Yellowstone National Park and the Everglades. You stopped on the east coast and the west coast. Yet, anywhere you went, all you could see or think of was Spencer.

You saw him in the enthusiastic way the guide told you about the history of The Alamo. You thought of him when you visited, and viewed impressive books, at the Phillips Exeter Academy Library in New Hampshire. You felt him when an episode of Doctor Who came on TV late one evening in your deteriorated motel room.

It didn’t take you long to realize that no matter where you went, the memory of Spencer and your feelings for him would be close behind. You knew that you could travel anywhere but you couldn’t move on from him. You had never loved someone in the way you loved Spencer and you didn’t know how you would move forward from him, or even if you wanted to.

——

After three months of trying to find an escape from reality, you realize it's time. Time for you to go home and face the music. Time for you to push aside your one-sided feelings and move on. And as much as you recognized this, you knew it was far easier said than done. Because moving on meant leaving him, your best friend and the true love of your life, behind. It meant watching him move on and find that perfect girl, a girl who wasn’t you.

You had come to the realization that you would never be able to work side by side with Spencer, knowing that he didn’t feel for you as you felt for him. With that in mind, you knew the only thing you could do was ask for a transfer. You didn’t want to leave the area, but if it wasn’t possible for you to get placed with another division, like the White-Collar Crime task force, then you would have to. You had texted Hotch earlier in the day, asking if he was available for you to come in to talk to him. He has replied with a simple, “I’m here doing paperwork for the foreseeable future.”

You notice it’s just after five and figure there’s no time like the present to talk to Hotch. It’s a twenty-minute drive to the office from where you are and you spend the entire drive wondering what you’d do if you run into Spencer. 

By the time you park in the garage attached to the FBI building, you still are no closer to knowing how to act if you see Spencer. You choose to take the stairs, to avoid any possible run-ins, and hurriedly make your way to Hotch’s office. A soft knock and a stiff “Come in” later and you are sitting across from Hotch.

In usual Hotch fashion, he is quick to get straight to the point. “Am I correct in assuming this conversation has something to do with your three-month absence?”

His words are like a slap in the face, although you are sure that is not how he meant for them to sound. You hadn’t realized how truly juvenile your disappearing act had been until now. You dip your head as you respond. “I would like to start by apologizing. I let you and the team down and that was never my intention.” Your voice is soft as you feel a wave of guilt wash over you.

His eyes soften as he gives you a tight nod and asks, “And what was your intention?”

You clear your throat as you weigh the negatives of telling Hotch the truth. But in the end, you choose to tell him everything, in hopes that he will be able to better understand your decision to transfer. “As you probably know, Spencer and I are close. But I, uh, came to the realization that I felt for him more than a best friend would. And I wrongly thought that it was two-sided. I poorly decided to tell him, only to have him tell me he didn’t feel that way, and it was devastating. I figured the best way to move on was to be away from him. And three months later, I realize that it will never happen, me moving on.” You pause, taking a deep breath as you feel dejection rise in your chest and tears threatening to fall. “I can’t work beside him knowing that I not only lost my best friend, but I also will never have him in the way I truly want to. So that is why I’m here. I would like to request a transfer, preferably one that takes place immediately. I don’t care about the division I’m put in, I just can’t stay in the BAU Hotch.” You finish brokenly, your heart squeezing at the thought that you would have to leave behind those who you consider family, for a fresh start somewhere else. 

Hotch stares at you for a long time after you finish your improvised speech. You can feel him profiling you, but you don’t say anything because you feel as though you aren’t in the position to. Finally, he nods his head and says, “As much as I hate to lose you from the team, I can understand why you are asking for this request. I will get started on the paperwork tonight and you will hopefully have a new position by tomorrow midday.”

As you stand to leave, Hotch stands as well. You think he is going to shake your hand so you stick yours out. What you didn’t expect was for him to pull you into a gentle hug. After a moment, you hug him back. “It doesn’t get better, but each day makes the pain a little less.” He whispers into your ear. You squeeze him a little tighter in response before pulling back. You give him a sad smile before offering your thanks and leave.

You decide to visit a pub three blocks from your apartment for a much-needed drink. It had been a lot harder than you thought to ask for that transfer and the realization that you were leaving behind your family left you swimming in guilt and sorrow. 

The pub was dark and smelled of stale beer. There were a few people sitting at the bar, but more were spread out at the tables. It was later than when you usually came, as you had stopped at your apartment and unloaded your suitcase, changed, and then walked here.

You choose an empty seat at the less populated side of the bar and order your favorite drink. It went down quickly and before you knew it you were ordering another. By the time you were on your third drink, you were starting to forget why you felt the way you did in the first place. 

A deep, sensual voice sounds next to you. “Hey doll, what’s a pretty little thing like you doing drinking alone?” You turn to see a tall man with smoothed down brown hair and emerald green eyes standing beside you. He had on dress pants and a simple button down that fit him in all the right places, with a brown corduroy suit jacket. You grin stupidly, thanks to the alcohol coursing through your system, at his pick up line before answering, “Drowning my sorrows, I guess.” 

“Well, someone as fine as you shouldn’t have sorrows to drown.” He smoothly answers, causing you to smile again.

“Maybe you can help me then handsome.” You respond, truly shocking yourself with your wonton answer.

He takes a seat beside you, extending a hand. “Tony DiNozzo. What’s your name doll?”

And with that, you find someone who truly helps you forget the lack of one Spencer Reid in your life, at least for the night. Because you knew, no matter how hard you tried, Spencer Reid would always be the one you couldn’t move on from.

[gdwessel]

Rumors About Ospreay + Unrest In The NJPW Locker Room; Government Adds Okinawa to State Of Emergency, Another Extension Possible; Quick Review of DSOTR Collision In Korea; Shota Umino News!; Ren Narita on Dark Elevation; Satoshi Kojima In Impact Next Week

Strap in because this is going to be a long one.

There are rumors and reports coming out now (mostly from one source, the Voices of Wrestling website, from behind a Patreon paywall) that Will Ospreay's injury may not be what it seems, and there is growing discontent to the point of "mutiny" among the non-Japanese wrestlers regarding the state of emergency, the last-minute decision to resume touring when some were already travelling out of Japan, and the constant need for quarantining when coming back into Japan. Unfortunately this is as much as I can say, because this is behind a paywall, so until it gets made for public consumption I’m kinda limited in what I can say.

I can totally buy that all is not well within NJPW, especially after the COVID-19 bubble has burst. I've already discussed the creative malaise happening in the company right now. That there seems to be backstage dissent shows possible signs of trouble ahead for the promotion, and this golden period that we've been accustomed to is well and truly over. (I mean, it already was once lockdown happened, but they did the best they could, in my honest opinion, including a Pretty Good if not great WK15. Right now, creatively, we are below 2nd-half 2018 levels of poor.) But NJPW has weathered these storms before, although not with a global pandemic looming over everything. I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that Ospreay is indeed injured, because a) they haven't exactly been shy about wrestlers being injured and needing to vacate titles before b) if Ospreay is legit injured, he is far more likely to receive treatment as a citizen of the UK from the (somehow still alive if not totally hobbled by Brexit) NHS, as opposed to Japan's healthcare system which is far more like the US model. Some wrestlers are swearing up and down he is injured, from the rumors. Ospreay certainly hasn’t said anything in his own words, beyond RTing NJPW’s announcement of his injury and vacating the title, and posting a pic of himself kissing the belt. RevPro kinda sorta said something but were also pretty vague. But for an injury suffered on 5/4/2021, this pic posted on 5/18 does not look like someone who just had such a severe neck injury they need to fly back to the UK (mind you, it COULD have been taken much earlier than that). Indeed, Ospreay’s still-active Twitter is more focused on Hana Kimura at the moment*. All this said, professional wrestling by it’s very nature has a baked-in amount of bullshit as part of it, so that this injury might be phony is always a distinct possibility.

It is utterly believable there is conflict between wrestlers and management, and communication is piss-poor at best. It is also believable that NJPW and Bushiroad are only taking their cues from a government Hell-bent on holding an Olympics an overwhelming majority of those polled are against, and who are treating the extended state of emergency as a vague suggestion rather than as a, you know, state of emergency. Pretending everything is hunky dory hasn't worked so far, so not sure why NJPW, nor the Japanese government, think eventually it will. (And NOAH is on my shit list right now too.) On that note, the government has now officially added Okinawa to the state of emergency. There is also talk that it will be extended further, as a government subcommittee member is quoted in the article as saying “it is difficult to think” that it will be lifted on 5/31/2021. Among that talk is word that Tokyo particularly will be under a stricter lockdown if this goes on. On a piece of actual GOOD news, it has been announced that the government has approved both the Moderna and AstraZeneca versions of the vaccine, so perhaps the vaccination rates will start to go up at last.

* - The anniversary of Hana Kimura’s tragic death is tomorrow (5/23/2021). I still sometimes struggle with the idea she is gone. Tonight at 10:30pm EDT (which is 5/23/2021 12:30pm in JST), FITE TV will be showing a live Hana Kimura tribute show put on by her mother, Kiyoko Kimura. Have a look in if you can

I was able to watch the Vice Dark Side Of The Ring episode on Collision in Korea, the two-night joint NJPW & WCW show from May Day Stadium in Pyongyang, North Korea, on 4/28 & 4/29/1995, as it aired Thursday. It will hit YouTube here pretty soon. I am working on a podcast project about this documentary, and the (WCW version of the**) show itself, with the good lads at the Days Of Thunder podcast, so I won't talk too much here, but I will say a few things about it:

I did appreciate the detail here, as well as being able to get an interview with Antonio Inoki for this, especially as he was the principal driver of this show happening. I did also like that they took time to detail Inoki's mentor, and the "father of puroresu," Rikidozan, who himself was a North Korean national by birth. I did not appreciate the mythical pathos they added to the death of Rikidozan, which by all accounts was a random street fight with yakuza over a perceived insult (stepping on Rikidozan's shoe). I also felt they could have done a better job explaining the situation between Japan and North Korea at the time. When the event was first proposed to the NJPW roster, Scott Norton recounts Masahiro Chono telling Norton that "they want us dead," but it took until introducing former CNN foreign correspondent Mike Chinoy nearly halfway through the documentary to (briefly) explain the brutal colonialism that Japan wreaked on North Korea in the first part of the 20th century.

Also, as salacious as DSOTR can get, I am very surprised one of the most famous rumors/stories about this show did not get discussed, the internet wrestling legend that Kensuke Sasaki and Akira Hokuto were, erm, Quite Vocal when they were together, which of course did eventually lead to their marriage four months later which continues to this very day. But that was also part of another critique I had, which is, they mainly focused on the WCW part of the events, when this was an NJPW promoted show. The way it was told on DSOTR, the only Japanese wrestlers there were Antonio Inoki, Shinya Hashimoto, Akira Hokuto and Bull Nakano. I'd love to hear more from the NJPW side of things, besides how proud Inoki was of this political stunt that did not get him re-elected to the Diet anyway.

Overall, I do recommend watching this when and how you can, because it is absolutely bonkers. I will definitely keep you posted on when the podcast project for this drops. ** - I've tried looking for the NJPW version and have failed so far. NJPWWorld only has two matches from this, Antonio Inoki v. Ric Flair, and Akira Hokuto v. Bull Nakano. The WCW version is not officially released, even on WWE Network, so yeah search the internet to see it.

We finally have an update on Shooter! That is, Shota Umino. Earlier in the week, RevPro's official Twitter had a tweet saying This Summer, showing Umino in not only his white/pink Tanahashi-esque tights, but holding his Death Riders jacket from Jon Moxley, that Shota retweeted, making this his first tweet since September 2019. Two days later, a hype video appeared with footage of Shooter, including performing Death Rider. Now a Sports Illustrated article is claiming that Shooter was supposed to have reunited with Mox on the NJPW Strong episode that had Mox & Chris Dickinson face Yuji Nagata & Ren Narita, but Umino had an unspecified injury preventing that. (They further say that Mox v. Nagata’s IWGP US title match was originally set for Strong but Tony Khan convinced NJPW to hold it on AEW Dynamite.) Umino's last match listed on Cagematch was on 3/14/2020 in ATTACK! Wrestling in Cardiff, Wales, on the winning side of a 6-man tag match with Kyle Fletcher & Kid Lykos II defeating Shigehiro Irie, Chief Deupty Dunne & Los Federales Santos, Jr. It's great to have him back wrestling again, and I hope we get that reunion with Moxley soon enough too.

As an update to an item from an earlier post, it appears that the Ren Narita v. Royce Isaacs match that was teased but then not aired on AEW Dark this past Tuesday will actually be on AEW Dark: Elevation this coming Monday instead. Also part of that will be approximately 35 other matches (I only slightly kid), one of those being Rocky Romero v. JD Drake. This usually drops on YouTube at 7pm EDT / 6pm CDT Mondays.

This past Thursday on Impact, a video package showed that Satoshi Kojima would be appearing on next week's episode. This will be Kojima's first time ever wrestling in Impact under any name, as the last time NJPW and TNA were working together, Kojima was still away in All Japan Pro Wrestling. No word as to what he will be doing or whom he will be wrestling.

Also on Impact, Juice Robinson & David Finlay Jr. successfully defended the Impact World Tag Team titles against Ace Austin & Madman Fulton... before getting blindsided by two members of the Violent By Design unit (in this case, ECW veteran Rhino and former AJPW Triple Crown champion + cancer beater Joe Doering) with whatever Impact's version of a Anytime Anywhere Challenge is, and took the belts from FinJuice. They claimed FinJuice were going back to Japan, but, erm, who knows if that's the case or if it was for a time period when Wrestle Grand Slam was still a thing that was happening.

Also also, it seems Don Callis is no longer in any executive capacity at Impact. This is a little significant as it seems it was Callis who opened the negotiations back up for Impact to work with NJPW. Of course, lately he's spent more time as an on-screen heel manager for Kenny Omega, the Good Brothers and now the Young Bucks on both AEW and Impact programming. We'll see how much longer Kenny Omega's belt collector shtick goes on for with Callis no longer part of creative or management.

And that is actually it for now! Yipes!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #299

“you look so beautiful tonight  /  reminds me how you laid us down and gently smiled before you destroyed my life.”

Ever done any drugs? Besides alcohol, no. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. What’s your favorite show to binge? I could only ever willingly *binge* Meerkat Manor and not get bored after like, two episodes. Do you watch porn? No, it's never appealed to me. What’s one of your fantasies? Being financially stable. :^) Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? I've lightly considered getting one, but I really doubt I ever will. What’s the most overrated movie? /shrug. Let people like what they like. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. I'd love to get to know my Facebook acquaintance Courtlynn better; I've wanted to for a long time. I think we could be fantastic friends. We'll like each other's stuff regularly and occasionally leave comments, but we don't really talk. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Paper ones, by a long shot. I just really like the feeling of a book and being able to clearly see how far in you are. I enjoy the smell and sound of turning pages. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick? Probably Wonderland, realistically. I would say Azeroth, but too much world-threatening shit goes on every day lol. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? G O T H Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yep. Do you drink? Very, very rarely. Almost exclusively during celebrations or on the once in a blue moon occasion we go to a sit-down restaurant. Do you read erotica? No. It would make me super uncomfortable. What color was the last candle you lit? I don't remember at all. Do you own a treadmill? No, but I want one. Have you ever signed up for a gym membership? Well, not exactly me. Mom and Nicole both had memberships to Planet Fitness, and I was able to come as a guest. It was just cheaper that way. What color was the last fish you had? That I owned or ate? Either way, idr. Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? No. If you play The Sims, do you download custom clothes, hair, etc? I don't play it. Does your animal sleep with you? Roman does, yes. He legitimately spoons with me lmao. Sometimes he'll move to the bottom of the bed, other times he'll sleep through most of the night there. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? Yes. What is your favorite song to play on Guitar Hero or Rock Band? "Hotel California" by The Eagles on expert is so much fun and just feels good. The ending solo is just great. When you drink chocolate milk do you just buy the jug of it or the syrup that you can put into the milk? Almost always just the chocolate syrup. Do you own a robe? What color is it? No. What’s the worst abuse you have done to your phone? I know I've thrown it across the room once. Well, not my current phone, but a really old one. How did you meet your first love? High school. Well, you could maybe say Facebook. He sent me a friend request and I literally only accepted it because I thought it was another Jason. We talked via messenger some and then we ran into each other at school, and tbh I kinda knew I was fucked from there lmao. Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s underwear? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever kissed in a pool? Yeah. Are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others? I absolutely cannot write in front of others, and I HATE drawing when people are watching. What do you do when you simply don’t know what to do? Odds are I'll probably be scraping the bottom of the barrel to find something in WoW that sounds even remotely fun, or I'll browse Facebook. How did you find out about your current favorite band? He's one of my mom's favorite singers/bands, so I grew up with some of his music, and when I was getting into rock and metal, I decided to go through her music case and listen to some of it. Ozzy's Black Rain album set the adoration into motion. Where are you most likely to go when you need clothing? The Internet or Wal-Mart, depending on what kind of clothes I need. When was the last time you tried to do something yet failed? I should have an answer for this very quickly... yet I'm unsure. I don't think anything *major* has happened in a while. Oh, this is a tiny thing, but I did look really hard for the pencil sharpener so my niece could finish coloring her drawing, but I couldn't find the damn thing for anything. Do you think your life is comprised more of success or failure? Lots and lots of failure. What’s one personality trait that’s not strong in you? Uhhh outgoing, ig. Are you a difficult individual to get to know? Considering I hide a lot about myself to try and be accepted, yes. When was the last time you opened up to someone and about what? Literally yesterday to my mom about this unreasonably massive fear I've had lately that she doesn't have much longer in her. I'm terrified she's going to get COVID or her cancer just comes back faster than we hope. To whom do you feel the most important? My mom. Is there something you want but might not ever have? Many things. What’s something you’re working to obtain? Mental stability. Do you tend to enjoy your dreams? No, considering they're usually violent and rarely just psychotic nightmares. Are there any projects or goals you’ve recently abandoned? Hm. What in life serves to keep you going? The hope it'll get better, and I'll reach a point of actually being happy and content with my life. What was the last good news you received? Nicole's trip to Maryland to bring back a baby was successful (if that sounds weird, she's a child social worker). He has a heart condition where if his heartbeat or something like that was irregular, she'd have driven all the way up there for nothing; the baby wouldn't have been able to take the ride. Are you more inclined to appreciate sweet or savory foods? Sweet. Are romantic relationships important to you at this point in your life? I mean I'd like to be in one, but I highly doubt it'd be successful, just given where I am in life. I'd be signing up for heartbreak. Who was the last person to apologize to you for something they did? I don't know. Probably Mom for something minor, like just bumping into me or something. Are you wearing a necklace, and if so, who got it for you? No. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done lately? Lately? Uh. I don't know, but I can guarantee to you it wasn't long ago at all, considering breathing embarrasses me, pretty much. Do you ‘think out loud’? Sometimes. Do you take gummy vitamins? No. How do you know the majority of the people you know? Former schools. Hell, or maybe various online locations. I just might have more online friends and acquaintances than in-person. Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? I've talked about my pebble from my partial hospitalization program enough. Can you play electric guitar? I used to be able to play a little bit; I took guitar lessons for a short while in high school. Best I could do was the intro to "Crazy Train," but I'd still occasionally mess up. Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? Usually. Do you believe in ghosts/supernatural occurrences? Yes. Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? Yeah. Is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger? Yes, usually songs that are also angry. How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? The only case this has ever happened was with Jason and his gf after me. There are no words to describe the fucking hatred I felt. I haven't seen pictures of him with an s/o in a long time, and I absolutely never plan on seeking them out ever again. What song are you listening to right now? "Rest In Pieces" by Saliva. If you’re not in college, why? I couldn't handle the stress anymore. Just couldn't. Do you own a studded belt from Hot Topic? I have a good number of old ones from high school, actually. I wore them all the time. I could never fit into them now. Favorite fictional character? Um, Darkiplier, duh. Most recent thing you are looking forward to? I think it's finally set in stone that I'm getting my tattoo redone soon. Thanks to my laptop saying "ha fuck you," it's not as soon as I originally planned since I had to pay to fix it, but Mom seems fine with helping me pay for my birthday. Not a guarantee that it'll happen on that date of course, given scheduling, but yeah. It should fucking finally be happening. How many stairs can you climb before you wanna pass out? This is too embarrassing to even answer lmao. Have you ever kissed someone with braces? No. Would you ever consider adoption? I don't want kids, and even if I did, I probably wouldn't. I feel like I'd personally need the "wow this is a part of me (and/or my s/o)" connection. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? I would never go hunting, and the only occasion in which I'd fish again is if Dad asked me. I don't like the idea of fishing for fun anymore, but that's like... always been our bonding experience, and I wouldn't tell him no. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Knew. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Who are your godparents? I don't think I have any. Do you have any friends who are famous? I have two friends who are parts of bands, but idk how successful they are. I don't think either are like, huge. Nova Mortis if you're into heavy metal and I think Toukan does rap? When was the last time you stayed at a hotel? Hm. I have no idea. What side of a heart do you draw first? Uhhhh I think the left? What is your mom saved as in your phone? "Mama Bear." Do you want your tongue pierced? I had snake eyes for a while, but I took them out because I kept chipping my teeth. I miss that piercing, it was so cute, but it wasn't worth ruining my teeth. Ever made out in a pool? It's possible very briefly, idr. Do you like to have long hair or short hair? SHORT. SHORT. SHORT. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not really. Would you get back with your last ex if you could? Yeah. Have you ever been strip searched? No. Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? Yes. What is your least favorite type of chocolate? White chocolate is way too sweet. Did anyone see your last kiss? It was at an airport, so probably. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I mean, I do, but I don't really know how smart it would be right now. Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? A few. Who IMed you on Facebook last? My friend Girt. Were you kinda scared of the goths in high school? Hell naw man, I looked up to them lmao. What size is your mattress? (single,twin,double,queen,king) Queen. Do you like spaghetti? Hell yeah. It was my favorite food as a kid. What about lasagna? No; I don't like the cheese at all. Have you ever been stung by anything? What was it? Mosquitoes of course, as well as a bee once. Maybe other things, idk. Have you ever worn contacts? (even just to try them out) Yes, but I changed to glasses because I had too much trouble putting them in and taking them out. Have you ever had any suspicious moles removed? No. Have you ever been screened for STDs? No. Did you have your tonsils taken out? No. Did you have your appendix taken out? No. Do you have any collector’s glasses or cups or mugs? What is a "collector's" glass or mug? Were you your parents’ first born? No; I'm the middle child. Do you have a child? Is the father still with you? No. Were you born perfectly healthy or with some (or a lot) of health issues? I was born healthy. Good 'ole days. Did you ever catch any bugs or insects with your friends as a kid? Ohhhh yes, my neighbor and I loved doing that. My favorite was catching fireflies with my sisters, though. Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? With a friend. I'd get lonely. Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? A whole lot, sadly... I'm despising that disease more and more every day that goes by. I know far too many people who have it or have died at its hands. Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? No. Do you and your boyfriend/girlfriend fight a lot? N/A. Do not stay in a relationship where fighting is common. Would you ever share a site password with a family member or partner? I mean sure, depending on the site and person, and the reason they (may) need it. Has anyone ever told you they couldn't trust you? Hm... I actually don't think so? Who in your family has the prettiest eyes? Idk, I don't see enough of my extended family to know. What is an odd food item you would like to try, or have tried? I'm sure there's something I'd like to try, but nothing I think about with consistency, really... Most "odd" food I find unappealing anyway. When/if you drive, do you go the speedlimit? When I did, I certainly always tried to, but I was bad at maintaining a stable speed. I went up and down too much. Are you an aggressive driver? Or more passive-aggressive? I was dangerously passive at driving. Describe a hairstyle you had as a little kid? Well, I had long hair with bangs. What routine of yours would you most hate to break? Probably stopping getting a soda first thing in the morning... That is like so deeply ingrained into my day and is a motivator to get up in the first place. I want to change this to where I'm not allowed to grab one until I've had a full cup of water, but yeah, that hasn't happened yet. Has jealousy ever ruined one of your friendships/relationships? Honestly? I think it's possible that Jason totally split on me because of it. We were in this very unstable "friends" position after the breakup and hung out very briefly and awkwardly twice (which I'm pretty sure he didn't want), and I think one of our last attempts at conversation was who a girl he was talking to via Messenger was. No, before any assumptions are made, I didn't snoop. He showed me something on his phone and I just inevitably saw the little Facebook chat icon of a girl I didn't recognize. I don't even remember his answer. I just know it wasn't too long later I was blocked and everything. What is one restaurant you would NOT recommend? I personally am not a Chili's fan. What was your last conversation about? Mom and I were just talking about what a mush the cat is, haha. Who is your favorite person to debate or discuss with? Yo fuck debates, I got mad anxiety over that kind of stuff. Are you more likely to praise or insult yourself? Why? Insult. I don't even believe myself when I try praising, so it's not worth the effort. I have a billion and two reasons. Do you enjoy cloudy days? Why or why not? Honestly, not very much anymore. I've found that it actually does affect my mood. I like some cloud coverage, though. Would it bother you to be forgotten after death? Yes, even though when you think about it, most of us will be. I want to do stomething so badly; not even particularly something major, but just contribute to things and causes that matter and slowly change the world for the better. It's especially likely I will be forgotten though at some point because I don't want kids, so my blood isn't carrying on. Do you tend to prefer healthy or unhealthy snacks? Ugh, unhealthy. Has anyone ever asked you for diet advice? I think so, back when I started recovery and lost like 60 lbs fast as fuck. I wasn't even dieting though, just... came off awful meds. What age is your youngest aunt? Ummmm I have no clue. Do you like bowling? Yeah, it's fun, but I'm not good at it. Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? Totally. Do you prefer sweet or sour fruits? Sweet. How're your dancing skills? Rusted to the point of just not functional anymore lmao. What brand of batteries do you usually get? I don't pay attention to the kind Mom gets. Are any of your friends pregnant or have kids? A lot of my FB friends have kids. At least two are pregnant, but I only consider myself remotely close to one. I'm beyond worried about how she's going to be as a mom. Where's the strangest place a fast food restaurant was located? I've certainly seen some questionable placement in busy areas, but none that are super odd. Do you stay up all night on New Years Eve/Day or go to bed after 12am? I don't care nowadays; I just stay up until I'm tired like every other night.