#I feel that fits quite well with the duality of his feelings.

[thepromiseimadetoyou]

These feelings we have for each other, stabbing into one another

A riddlebat playlist from Eddie's point of view

~~~ Link to Spotify version above, but they don't have the English versions of the Vocaloid songs so I'm gonna link the intended versions here:

Not Another Song About Love [Hollywood Ending] // A Born Coward [164 ft. Gumi, English cover by Rachie] // Worship [Amber Run] // Mozaik Role [Deco*27 ft. Gumi, English cover by Mikutan] // Love and War [Fluerie] // Flesh [Simon Curtis] // Reversible Campaign [Deco*27 ft. Miku, English cover by Rachie] // Hibana [Deco*27 ft. Miku, English cover by Rachie] // Time is Running Out [Muse] // Aimai Elegy [Deco*27 ft. Miku, English cover by Neko & Nano] // Haven't Had Enough [Marianas Trench] // Bruises and Bitemarks [Good With Grenades] // True Love [P!NK] // Last of the Real Ones [Fall Out Boy]

~~~ Please do not repost without permission!

[tinystarbites]

accidents | Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: during a long case away, Spencer accidentally sees Reader's nudes on her phone and can't cope because he is a MESS for reader whoops [5.5k]

Warnings: SMUT MDNI, 18+ only, fem!reader, fluff, some angst mainly Spencer doubting himself aww :(, Spencer is PINING for you hard (haha get it), nudes, Spencer loves you so much, pls someone give him a hug, m!masturbation, talk about sex, proofread but prolly not perfect lol, like you aren't probably ready for the amount of longing in this, *slaps Spencer* this bad boy can fit so much pining and yearning

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

Spencer swears it was an accident.

You were all away on a case, somewhere in Florida. And of course, something like that can only happen in Florida, because as much as he dislikes connecting random events with random locations, non-sequitur fallacy and all that, he cannot not say that many of his most embarrassing moments aren’t attributable to the south-eastern state. (He will not elaborate on these moments, he very much likes to keep most of his dignity still intact, thank you very much.)

But his dignity isn’t really the only thing that had been shattered to pieces by… by the accident. Far from it really and it- well, it- God, this really won’t end well for him, will it? He’s well and truly, as Emily likes to say, fucked.

It happened on the fourth day he and the team were cooped up in a small, dingy police station, chasing down an unsub that liked to paint intricate body art on the victim’s corpses as part of his MO. Aside from, y’know, slitting their throats with what seemed to be an old, rusty saw. The paradoxical duality of these two aspects, of the interplay of carefulness and diligence put into the painting process and the absolute careless way the unsub ends his victims was fascinating really – but not as much as it is disturbing, still.

Thus, this case is a very photography-heavy one. Most of the cases they solve involve photographs of some kinds of course, but Spencer has never sat in front of quite as many pictures of art and gore in his life before. It was strange, to say the least, even to him. Strange and annoying, to be honest.

Because Spencer isn’t exactly fond of all things that come with some electrical inner life, i.e. smartphones, his old brick of a phone isn’t exactly helpful for this case. He still feels the need to roll his eyes at Garcia after she, for the umpteenth time, called him an old grandpa and his phone a potato trying to pass as a phone. And failing miserably, especially when looking at the pictures it takes and their quality. Well, Penelope would say “pictures”, because she would also say that a resolution of beneath 60 PPI should be considered a war crime against modern technology, but Spencer doesn’t know and doesn’t want to know what that even means, so. Jokes on her.

Well, actually, the joke is on him. And yes, he knows, the joke is almost always on him, he knows his pipe-cleaner physique and too big eyes and long hair and everything about him really, makes him the perfect target for the occasional bullying he gets still as an adult, but he’s used to that. It’s normal, part of his everyday life. He can deal with that (more or less).

What he so brilliantly cannot deal with however, is having you around him almost 24/7. Because Hotch had had the amazing idea of fixing you to his hip as his personal photographer to circumvent his technological potato-problem. Uh- not that you, that you take pictures of him, why would you ever do that, but more like, taking pictures for him. Of their victims. And the body art.

Spencer was actually waiting for your protest, because there seems to be nothing worse for you than to stay inside the office when you could be out there, on the fields, in midst of all the action. Where Spencer usually isn’t. But that’s fine of course. Completely, absolutely fine. Spencer doesn’t look up every time the door to the tiny room he’s set up his camp in opens to see if it’s you bringing him another coffee just the way he likes, if it’s your smile that will make him feel more energized than any overly sweet coffee ever could. If it’s your voice and smell and aura (Penelope is definitely getting into his head) that for the short while you are there, makes everything seem so much more manageable.

It’s an energy burst unlike any other and Spencer is aware of what that means, so aware his body burns with it sometimes… Often. Okay, fine, most of the time. He just prefers to ignore it and enjoy the precarious friendship he built with you for what it is because he just likes to have you around so very much and – this was so not the point he wanted to make. He’s hopeless, when it comes to you, and it really is kind of embarrassing.

So, this is why the joke is so entirely on him that it’s not even a joke anymore. It’s basically bullying, he feels bullied. Because you actually had beamed the prettiest smile he’s ever seen at him, said ‘Oh finally, I can unpack all the dark hidden talents from within me’ which was so cryptic but so you and then you also winked at him. And well, Spencer has to lie if he were to say that he was being totally normal about this. That you didn’t just upheave his insides like an earthquake of magnitude eight with a single wink. Oh, he’s in so much trouble.

The first two days the two of you work side by side proceed without any unforeseen occurrences. And Spencer is so glad about that he could cry. From the moment you had joined the team two years ago, from the moment he met you, it was an undeniable fact that you were nice. Not only that, but truly, selflessly kind in a way that has left him all too choked up to even speak on multiple occasions now. The team is nice to Spencer, of course they are, they’re his family. But nothing in the entire world could have adequately prepared him to the spring of kindness you so freely distribute to anyone willing to receive it. And god, Spencer is willing. Is it every time you listen to him ramble on and on, unable to really hold his tongue despite the embarrassment clouding his cheeks darker. Is it every time you ask him about the book he’s reading, every time you ask him how his mother is doing and just- all these tiny things that add up and completely smush his brain into a fuzzy mess of warmth that leaks down his body.

He literally could spend every minute of every day just sitting next to you and soak up your presence and he would be the happiest person alive. That’s why he cherishes your friendship to him so strongly, and that’s why it’s the worst thing that Spencer is, well, himself.

He knows that you would probably be too nice to outright state that something he does unsettles you. Changes the way you think about him. Still. There is the worry. Buried so deep in his mind it’s as if he was born with it. And that’s why he’s so relieved that he is keeping the worst of the ‘Reid effect’ at bay while working with you on this twisted painter case.

It all goes well, until it doesn’t. Of course. Good things never seem to last for Spencer.

It’s already later in the afternoon on the fourth day you are working the case, no end in sight, unfortunately. Spencer is bend over the table, hands entwined in front of his mouth as he’s staring down the printed pictures of the unsub’s latest victim from three days ago. The brushstrokes seem remarkably stable, the colours uncannily vibrant. Spencer does not know much about art, but he does recognise talent when he sees it. And this unsub seems to have it in abundance. It’s almost a shame he’s a deranged killer. But oh well.

He jumps in his seat when the door to his room abruptly bangs open and a dishevelled looking you is bustling into the room.

Your expression turns apologetic. “Oh Spencer, shit, sorry. I didn’t wanna startle you, but they just found another victim.”

And oh. Spencer feels his heart sink in his chest. Guilt tugging it further down into the abyss. Why wasn’t he faster with figuring out these paintings?

“Really? Where?”

You immediately launch into a rapid-fire list of details, all in the wrong order because you do tend to be a bit all over the place. Spencer doesn’t mind. Gives him a bit more of a challenge to order the information in his brain the way it works for him. You two work surprisingly well in that regard.

While talking, you round the desk that almost takes up all the little space available in the room. You sit in the chair next to him, so close he can feel the stressed warmth radiating from you and it takes a very good portion of his brain’s capacity to stop his hand from reaching out. Or do something else even stupider. More stupid? Oh hell. It’s a wonder he can talk in complete sentences with you.

He watches you pull out your phone, fingers typing in the passcode he guessed right after two weeks of knowing you. The indignant expression on your face had been adorable. That’s why he still guesses your new passwords weekly, just to mess with you a little bit. Because he’s apparently insane like that.

“Here”, you turn the display of your phone towards him, “Precinct’s out of ink. Do you mind looking at the pictures on my phone until I come back from the store?”

This is where Spencer should have said no. Declined politely, smile on his face. Tell you that sorry, I don’t really get the same detail on screen like on a printed version. Should’ve emigrated to Tristan da Cunha, change his name to Ferdinand. Whatever. Anything, except say, “Oh, of course. That’s no trouble.”

You smile that breathtaking smile of yours, fingers touching his slightly while giving him your phone. Spencer sucks his lower lip between his teeth to keep himself from making any kind of noise at the tingly feeling skittering down his back.

He can’t not smile back at you. It’s one of his many weaknesses. Jello, trying to out-solve himself every day with New York Times’ new crossword puzzles, dairy. Halloween themed socks. Old obscure movies no one has ever heard of. Reading the most difficult books in twenty minutes. You.

Once you left, Spencer starts diligently going through the photographs of their latest victim. Not yet identified white male. Average height, average weight. Short-buzzed sandy brown hair. Striking blue eyes that seem to stare at him accusingly even after death.

He works through approximately forty pictures taken off the intricate and detailed body art. This time, the unsub left many smaller paintings woven in a bigger, overall painting. There’s still one that Spencer hasn’t seen a close up of, that’s kind of hidden behind the victim’s ears. Maybe you saved it to a different folder. He clicks around your gallery for some time, opening and closing folders full of holiday pictures. Pictures of you, smiling, at the beach. A folder full of memes that he doesn’t get but is familiar with because you keep sending them to him anyways. Spencer is aware that he probably shouldn’t have just- perused your gallery like that. But he was in case-mode. Hyper-focused on finding the next clue, on detangling the next hint that would bring them further. That would finally be the key to end this case and bring justice to all the victims.

He isn’t really thinking, when he clicks on a folder titled ‘xxx lol’. Thinks it’s another one full of memes because of the abbreviation, but maybe you accidentally saved pictures of the case in there, wouldn’t be too out of character for you and-

Spencer sucks in a breath.

Drops your phone almost as an afterthought. The noise of it clattering to the table makes him flinch.

It lands display down. Small mercies and all that.

And Spencer is- he is-

… That was not-

Not -

There’s a weird buzzy feeling in his limbs, his chest and head. Like his blood turned into a swarm of bees. He feels like someone dumped a bucket of ice over his head and like he’s on fire simultaneously.

Okay. Okay.

That was not- pictures of the case.

Definitely not.

Oh Jesus Christ.

Spencer was definitely not supposed to see. That. Not supposed to see you- like that. Ever.

His heart is totally beating itself into a frenzy. There are at least two litres of blood rushing to his head. The other four are gathering somewhere down down down and oh. Oh shit.

Spencer is actually fucked. More than that. He wants to get fucked and that’s. Just. Even worse.

He wants to scream.

He ends up biting his knuckles and letting out a frustrated noise against his fingers.

Did he really.

Did he really just see your nudes?

(And yes, he knows that word. Penelope is a bad influence on him.)

His head is kind of a- a mess. More than usual when you are around. And… what. What does he do now? He can’t just- can’t just leave your phone like that. You’d obviously see what he was looking at and that’s just- unacceptable.

But the other option appears just as preposterous. Because, because, he’d have to look at your phone again. At you, like that, again. To get out of ‘xxx lol’. Damn you. Why did you have to be so unserious and name your, uhm, very personal folder like that? And no password-block?

Spencer feels a different kind of warmth enveloping him because it’s just- so you, silly and funny and kind of unbelievable and Spencer is so deeply in love with you that he feels like he’s going crazy with it. Of course, you’d be like that about stuff like that as well. Spencer would give everything to just once experience what it’d feel like to kiss you. To feel your lips twisted in a silly smile against his, flicking a finger at his ear because you would. Do that. When kissing someone. And okay. Okay. Spencer needs to get his shit together, like, yesterday.

You could come back any second now, actually and fuck. He needs to close the gallery app on your phone, asap.

His hands are trembling as they retrieve your phone from the table.

He allows himself a deep breath. And then. With eyes squeezed almost close, he taps the return arrow. Well, tries to. He thinks he managed to escape your nudes-folder without any hiccups but well.

Spencer is freaking inept with technology.

So. He finds himself looking at another picture of you and god, it actually might kill him.

It’s inappropriate. So so so so inappropriate. You would kill him dead if you ever knew Spencer was ogling your pictures like that. Like a perverted stalker.

But. But.

There shouldn’t even be a ‘but’.

But.

You’re just. You’re just- You’re incredible. Not even in a sexual way, just-

You’re so beautiful it hurts.

And call Spencer selfish, a pervert, whatever. Because he knows, okay? But he also knows that he’d never, ever get to see you like that. And it hurts in a different way now, because Spencer just wants. Wants you so much. You and you, just you.

But…he’d never get to have you. Which is fine, of course. Having you as a friend is actually one of the best things that ever happened to him, and he’d never do anything to endanger that-

…Well. He’s not perfect. So, sue him, for only once, giving into his deepest darkest desires. He’s only human. And pathetically in love with you. And attracted to you. Oh, he wants to be with you so badly. Wants to- wants to get kissed and held by you. Wants to make love with you, which just. Sounds so dumb and cliche. But maybe he just is that for you.

Still. He shouldn’t think how absolutely breathtaking you look, sprawled across the white linen of presumably your bed. He knew you worked out regularly, but. Spencer feels hot all over when he thinks how easily you could just. Manhandle him around. To wherever you wanted him. And this is something he apparently likes. (He consciously stores that information away for later. Later.)

He shouldn’t think how you would tease him, how you would make him beg for you before he’d even taken off his clothes. He would. He would beg for you, go on his knees. Everything, everything.

He shouldn’t think how warm and safe you’d make him feel, even after knowing he’s inexperienced in everything. You’d take his face in your hands, smile at him so beautifully he’d cry. Tell that ugly internalized shame to go ‘fuck off to Jupiter’.

Oh, he shouldn’t be looking at you like this. He shouldn’t, shouldn’t, shouldn’t.

But there’s always so much he shouldn’t do. Friends shouldn’t think of other friends like that. Friends don’t imagine how it would feel to be taken apart and put together again by their friend. Friends shouldn’t want to touch, touch, touch-

Maybe, for once, he just. Has enough of that. Maybe, he could just. Indulge. For a minute. To know what it’d be like. Just. A little.

To know what it’d be like if this picture was meant for him. What it’d be like- Be like to see you. And for you to see him. Like that. What it’d feel like to crawl into your lap, bury his face in your neck. Set his teeth on the gentle skin there and hear you gasp for him. How you’d bury your hands in his hair, and he’d make the most miserable noises until you pulled and-

Something in the corner of his eyes catches his attention and- shit.

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.

That’s you. Walking towards the door.

His hands are shaking so badly he has difficulties navigating your phone. But thankfully, this time, he manages to leave ‘xxx lol’ and find his way back to the evidence folder.

Oh god.

Oh god.

Did he actually- He actually-

The door springs open. Spencer startles kind of violently.

(Oh god.)

You have a big grin on your face. Some magenta ink smutched across your left cheek. And Spencer knows what you look like without-

“Heya, Spence, you won’t believe what just happened-“

(Oh god.)

“Uh… you okay there?”

His face feels like it’s on fire. His heartbeat is spiking and, well. He’s never been quite this turned on his entire life. He feels himself hard and aching against his trousers and Spencer wants you to push him down on the table and-

Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god-

He needs to- leave. Right now.

“Fine”, he squeaks, voice all over the place and he cringes, “Just-“

He wags his hands around in a very confusing, general manner. Grabs some photographs.

“I need to- Need to. Bathroom”, is all he somehow manages, photographs surely placed in front of his, ahhhh, problem.

You look at him as if he lost his mind. He probably has.  “Oh-kay? Then… go?”

Spencer goes.

------------------------------

Spencer can’t stop thinking about those pictures.

He’d known it would come to this. Him, lying wide awake on the uncomfortable hotel bed.

Having an eidetic memory has never felt more like a curse to him as now.

He buries his head further into the pillow. Fingers digging into it. Pulling his legs closer to him and, ah. That. Probably wasn’t the greatest idea of his.

He’s still- turned on. Uncomfortably so.But just thinking of taking care of that. Well. He’s 100% sure that that’s not the way to go about forgetting these pictures.

Also, it’s bad enough already that he even saw them. It would be so much creepier to jerk himself off to them. To you. His best friend. But- ugh.

It’s always kind of uncomfy for him to be away on a case. He prefers his own four walls over anything else, kind of, except maybe the university library. And now, being sexually frustrated away on a case that requires even more focus than other cases do?

Oh, Spencer is so fucked.

------------------------------

You notice that something is off with him. It really would have been a miracle if not, because then Spencer would’ve had to question your profiling skills. But even then- he doesn’t think that you’d even need to have these skills to notice him acting off.

Because Spencer is so not the person to play incidents like that cool. He is painfully aware of that, thank you very much.

So, the next day, when you came to say hi to him (“Hey there, Mr. Doctor.”), after he basically ran off the day before, and you, as always, casually put your hand on his shoulder, Spencer, he-

He spit out his coffee.

He could feel you freeze through the hand on his shoulder. Your expression would’ve been comical if Spencer wasn’t dying.

“Uhh… Do you… Do you need a moment?”

Well, that was a freaking understatement. Spencer needs not a moment but all of them to try to get his act together.

…which he didn’t. Not for the rest of that day, and also not for the day after. And the day after. This case apparently will never end. Fucking Florida.

You, of course being the kind soul you are, tried talking to him.

(“Spencer, are you okay? You’ve been acting kinda-“

“What? What do you mean? I’m fine, completely.”

“Uhm… Sure. If you wanna talk about it, you got my number.”)

And well. Spencer feels like he is going insane.

It’s come down to him not being able to spend more than thirty minutes uninterrupted in your vicinity without getting semi-hard, because he knows. Without him almost doing something stupid and drop to his knees then and there and beg you to either forgive him or to please let him eat you out.

Ah, yes, because apart from being so frustrated he could scream, he’s also feeling so guilty it’s slowly killing him.

There you are, still being his absolute favourite person on the planet, unaware of what kind of person you are laughing with. Of what Spencer did. It was an accident yes, but- He should’ve said something. Maybe warned you so that it would not happen again. Ugh, but the more time passes the worse it gets. The more impossible it feels to just- go to you and say ‘ah, uhm, by the way, I saw your nudes and maybe you should put those behind a password block’.

Spencer is just- the worst friend. What friend doesn’t give their friend a heads-up about something like that? He’ so, hopeless, incompetent, and he gets it now why he didn’t have that many friends in school. 

It’s gotten so bad so quickly that the others started noticing too, obviously. It really is a curse working with profilers. Spencer should reconsider his move to Tristan da Cunha.

“What’s got pretty boy so worked up, huh?”, Morgan asked him on the day after the incident.

“Did something happen, Spence?”, JJ pulled him aside on the second day after.

“Are they cancelling Doctor Who?”, Emily, on the first day after.

“Kid, you need to eat something”, as Rossi pressed a protein bar into his hands.

Even Penelope texted him.

is it what i think it is? ;))))))

He did not dignify her with an answer.

When Hotch comes to him on the evening on the second day after, Spencer is a mess. He’s practically spent the entire day in some state of fluster. He noticed he’s trailing off when he’s info-dumping. That he’s just- staring off into space more often than he usually does. That he can’t talk to you properly without stuttering, that he avoids looking you in the eyes. So, it really was only a matter of time until their unit chief would scold him. Or whatever Hotch is here to do.

“Listen, Reid”, he says, tone of voice a little too similar to when he is talking to Jack when he did something mildly inconvenient, “whatever it is, and I don’t want to know unless it’s something bad, deal with it. We need you with a clear head here, okay?”

And well, that could’ve gone a lot worse.

------------------------------

He still thinks so once he falls into bed that evening. But now-

Deal with it.

How? How should he deal with that? It’s not like he can just press the ‘Delete’-button in his memories. Thanks for nothing, Hotch.

His eyes strain from staring at the ceiling in the dark. Closing them doesn’t really help because all he’d see is you. He’s such a mess.

A pining, pathetic loser mess and he’s so hard again he can’t properly think. It’s just- Spencer has had rather inappropriate thoughts about you before. Has actually spent way too many hours in his apartment just lazing around, thoughts occupied on all the countless ways he’d like you to make him lose his goddamn mind. It had been kind of an accident (isn’t that just the story of his life), the first time it happened.

Spencer had almost been finished with his report, he’d just needed an additional detail from you to finish up. He’d asked Morgan where you were, and this is how he found himself walking down the corridor to Penelope’s ‘Dungeon’. Which, he’d never say out loud because that’s just ridiculous, right?

He saw the door to her office was slightly ajar, a mix of yellowish-red light splitting the hallway in half where it spilled out of the open gap.

There’s a giggle coming from inside the room and Spencer smiles- can’t help it really, because your laugh is just so absolutely ridiculous, a kind of high-pitched screech that ends in airy laughter and he’s so obsessed with it he wants to engrave it on a CD to listen to it again and again.

“No way, gorgeous, I don’t believe that”, Penelope whisper-giggled.

Spencer didn’t realize his steps slowed down, too curious by what you two could be talking about. And also, kind of forgetting that you shouldn’t just listen to other people’s conversations like that.

“Oh yes”, your voice was low, and Spencer would be lying if he said it didn’t send a tingle along his spine, “He broke up with me, but he came crawling back to me not even two months later because I apparently ‘ruined him’ for anyone else.”

Ruined him? What did you mean?

Both Penelope and you were laughing now, louder than before.

“You really, really gotta teach me your devious ways, buttercup.”

You snicker. “I guess it all boils down to making them come so hard they cry and forget their own name, really.”

Spencer didn’t get the detail he needed from you that day.

He’d gotten something much worse and that was curious. From the limited sexual encounters he’s had in his life before (a rushed hand-job somewhen in university in a toilet cubicle by that one other student he was into back then) he couldn’t really imagine something like sexual gratification that made one cry. Sure, getting himself off felt good. Sure, that orgasm had been fine. But… it could feel better?

He kind of didn’t think of that before.

So, when flustered-he had returned to his apartment after that overheard conversation, he kind of… thought about what these things could be that you did, to make others feel so good they lose the basic functions of their memory.

And the rest is basically history.

Of course, he’d never touched himself while doing… research about your techniques. It just felt- wrong. You are his friend and despite of his crush on you, it didn’t feel right.

But now…

He really really shouldn’t. But, he’s just so- desperate. For you and for things to go back to how they were. Without him almost bursting at the seams each time you look at him because before, he never had any problems with categorizing his mind like he does now.

So maybe… Maybe he can just… Do it once? Real quick, to get it out of his system?

The longer Spencer turns the thought in his head, the more… it seems like a good idea. You’d never know. Spencer could forget about- about the accident and move on. Solve the case and finally leave cursed Florida behind. If he just does it this one time, it’s not that bad right?

The fuzzy pleasure that shoots up his spine when he finally, finally presses his hand against himself through his pyjama pants answers him. Yes, yes, it says and more more more-

Spencer has never been good in denying himself things that make him feel good, better than good, things that make him forget about any pain that has nestled inside of his body or mind. Right now, that thing is you. Oh, perfect beautiful lovely you. He can’t stop the way his lips twitch into a smile, almost shy, even though he’s alone. But something about you just- 

He gasps, back arching a little when he slides the palm of his hand along himself, still through two layers of fabric.

Something about you just- god, how can he put this into words- something about you just makes him feel- safe. Seen. Taken care of. And it’s just, so foreign to him. Strange. He’s always been looking after himself. After dad left and mom-

He’s kind of addicted to it. To the way you make him feel. Spencer can’t get enough of it, can’t get enough of you. Never never enough.

His fingers trail circles around the head of his cock, light and unhurried, enjoying the shivers of good good amazing it sends through his limbs, to his fingertips. Spencer can feel the tension leaking out of him, can feel his muscles relax and his mind become hazy. He should do this more often, god he always forgets how good it is, it feels.

He almost forgets why he decided to get off right now. It had something to do with you. You. Naked and there, here with Spencer. He whines a little because you aren’t here, why aren’t you here he wants that so badly-

But all he has is the crystal-clear mental snapshot of your nudes. Spencer doesn’t remember ever remembering something with such clarity before. He feels kind of embarrassed by that, how obviously desperate he is for you. How he would do everything for you, with you. But this feels so good that he doesn’t care about any kind of embarrassment or shame that might trigger his self-loathing.

He increases the pressure of his palm slightly, oh god oh oh, it’s so good already and Spencer hasn’t even touched yet, not properly at least, but oh. Oh, he wants moremoremore-

It’s so easy letting his thoughts tangle, mixing old and new. Fantasies and reality. The you from the pictures merges with the you from his daydreams and oh shit. Oh fuck.

Spencer moans, high and needy at the back of his throat and god how are you so beautiful?

Imagined-you has absolutely nothing on the real you. Spencer could have never himself come up with you because he just lacks the imaginative capabilities to conjure the absolute vision you are. The vision you portray on those freaking pictures that have branded themselves into his very neurons. He’s sure, absolutely sure, that he will never get over them. Over you. Doesn’t even really want to.

Because he is quite certain that the sight of you, your stomach your thighs your arms your tits your- oh he forgot where he was going with this.

By now, Spencer’s hand has dipped beneath his pyjamas and beneath his boxers and he moans again, his lips pulled between his teeth and eyes shut because the feeling of good good better more almost peaks when he grabs himself, finally.

His right hand starts an even, slow pace along his cock because if he is only ever doing this once, he is going to make most of it.

It doesn’t take long for him to get close, though. He’s been so wound up the last few days, it really is no surprise. It’s actually more surprising he hasn’t come all over himself already.

Soft, keening noises are continuously spilling from between his lips, hips moving together with his hand because he just can’t help himself. The heat in his abdomen is building and building and he whimpers because he wants it to be you so so badly, his thoughts are a mess, he is a mess and he wishes he could be your mess, yours, yours to make a mess of and oh god he’s going to-

A knock. On his door.

He freezes, blood rushing loud in his ears, heart pounding and his cock hot in his hand and begging him to not stop but-

“Spencer? It’s me, can you let me in?”

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

pt. II? 👀

[resart]

The Inconspicuous Writing Gem: Daeran’s Look-alike Contest Breakdown

The Dance of Masks brought the long-anticipated last hurrah to the Knight Commander’s story. Although it was announced that the DLC would focus on the companions, I wasn’t holding my breath for substantial content that would actually enrich the characters’ plots. The game is already massive and has a ton of variables, so expecting the writers to continue storylines that can have multiple outcomes would be unreasonable. But one scene far exceeded my expectations and set the bar high for the rest of the expansion, rendering me more critical about some of its elements than I would normally be. The event in question may not appear as much, but the true artistry in writing stories driven by the player’s choice fully reveals itself in what we don’t see on the surface. Daeran’s look-alike contest varies greatly, depending on how his personal quest was resolved, and, therefore, serves as a semi-epilogue to his arc. I wanted to post an analysis of his character’s progression for quite some time, and this send-off is a fitting opportunity to delve into this matter. I’ll break down the differences in the new scene as well as in a few others and share my overall thoughts on what this addition brings to the table. Brace yourself because it’s going to be long.

I'll start with a quick reminder of what Daeran’s questline outcomes are, because I'm going to reference them a lot:

Good, in which he’s openly grateful to the Knight Commander despite having to face the tribunal, and Liotr, noticing their bond, intervenes so the Inquisition doesn't lock him up;

Lobotomy, in which Daeran reluctantly accepts his predicament of having to face the trial, Liotr doesn't support him and after the crusade, the Count is sent to the asylum and lobotomized;

HappyEvil, in which the Commander kills Liotr to secure Daeran’s freedom;

ArchEvil, in which Daeran doesn't have any trust in the Commander, feels deserted and murders Liotr to avoid the trial.

At first glance, there's nothing profound about Daeran’s festival quest — it fits his image to indulge in the vain act of self-celebration by choosing the most accurate imitation of himself. However, this simple setup proves itself clever when we realize that, by observing the contestants, he sees himself in a distorting mirror. Coincidentally, each participant appears to represent a different facet of the Count’s character. Therefore, his reactions to them speak volumes of the self-image and mindset he developed during the crusade in each scenario.

Among the doubles, we have an aasimar who mimics Daeran's arrogance and cruelty, and constantly interrupts other participants' speeches with mocking remarks.

A woman who recreates Daeran's sophisticated bon vivant persona.

A drunkard who paints Daeran as a worthless and utterly unapologetic rake.

And finally, an innocent boy who keeps staring at Daeran with admiration and portrays him as a virtuous hero of the crusade.

After the presentation of the contestants is over, Daeran asks the Commander’s opinion. Again, his responses to their verdict vary in each case (unless they choose the cat), but the difference in how he reacts to being compared to the little boy is the most telling.

No matter what the protagonist suggests, the winner of the contest is fixed for each of the outcomes. If the Commander failed to earn Daeran's trust and he murdered Liotr himself, the conceited aasimar is declared the winner.

If the Commander killed Liotr, the Count awards the lady.

If the quest was resolved peacefully (either Good or Lobotomy), Daeran chooses the boy and has a heartwarming exchange with him.

This variety of possible scenarios and the way they are handled encapsulate why I consider Daeran's story so intricately woven and enjoyable to analyze. He's an incredibly flexible and dynamic character whose potential endings range from becoming a saint to a homicidal maniac. But what makes this duality and everything that comes in between so engaging is that all these vastly contradictory conclusions are equally organic and convincing, given his rich characterization and the player’s choices. The subtle yet significant divergences in the narrative paths maintain the integrity of his personality and prevent his evolution from seeming far-fetched while efficiently showcasing his growth or regression.

Regretfully, this attention to detail is missing from the other new scenes, which don't convey a similar sense of progression and can come off as somewhat disconnected from the rest of the playthrough. The rendezvous, for example, avoids references to how the player concluded Daeran's romance and quest. Given these plotlines' non-linearity, it's an understandable approach, but it prevents the scene from exploring deeper themes and hitting more emotional notes. What's particularly detrimental to the its overall intensity is the absence of exclusive dialogue for the True Love outcome. Ironically, it's the two worst endings that get unique and surprisingly heartfelt lines.

The difference is insignificant, however, because the conversation always plays out the same. All in all, the segment is nice and leaves a lot to the imagination, but only partially exploits its potential. Meanwhile, the festival mini-quest embraces the aforementioned strengths of the storyline's writing, giving every iteration of Daeran distinct dialogues that clearly demonstrate the impact the crusade and acquaintance with the Commander had on him.

I won't examine every dialogue branch in detail but will mainly focus on the Good scenario. As someone who likes this ending the best and even advocates the controversial writing in the final confrontation with Liotr, I always thought the narrative failed to properly sell its implied benefits. Apart from the closing conversation in the quest itself, late-game provides little reactivity to differentiate the outcomes, making it hard for the players to fully grasp the internal shift that Daeran undergoes. Comparison of said dialogue in various scenarios reveals his perspective in Good route as the least egocentric and overall most mature. Unfortunately, in an individual playthrough, these qualities can get overshadowed by the Count's dissatisfaction with the inconveniences he will eventually have to endure.

Aside from that, the effects of each resolution manifest only in Daeran's responses to one question in the romantic route and how he expressed his feelings regarding Galfrey’s death.

Even though they show evident contrast and serve as a much-needed emotional pay-off for the moral dilemma the player faced in the storyline finale, both are relatively minor, with the Queen one completely missable in most playthroughs. When combined with the similar omission of negative repercussions for Daeran’s moral condition and emotional maturity in other outcomes, it's not surprising many players believe he doesn’t ever change or that becoming better fundamentally clashes with his nature.

The discussed competition scene remedies the narrative’s deficiencies, ultimately proving this statement untrue. In the Good outcome, Daeran presents a reasonable dose of self-distance. When confronted with the drunk’s insults, he replies with humor and courtesy, which is a stark contrast to his reactions in the Evil outcomes and his past responses to criticism. Despite being hurt by the harsh judgment, he understands such a low opinion of himself is somewhat justified. The Count's mild response and his sensitivity to the suggestion that he's nothing more than an unfeeling scoundrel may even indicate that he has developed some remorse for his past actions. He also dismisses unwarranted flattery and distances himself from the brash egotism. All without falling into a spiral of gloom and self-deprecation that occurs in the Lobotomy scenario. Introspectiveness and vulnerability showcased here are a seamless continuation of the self-evaluation Daeran does in the High Trust version of his quest upon being supposedly betrayed by the Commander.

It's all the more unfortunate that the other interactions in the DLC don’t acknowledge these differences and instead return to the common denominator of all endings. As a result, the player will go from Daeran, who self-reflects and claims the aasimar presents an unfunny caricature of him, to Daeran in the tavern, who puffs himself up exactly like the guy (using even the same words) and seeks more sycophantic praise. While it's expected for him to put on an airy act and tease others, the absolute lack of self-awareness he previously exhibits in the Good route is quite jarring. Considering the complexity of the storyline as well as all sorts of limitations, such inconsistencies are inevitable (the base game already has a fair share of them) and in the end, one can easily reconcile them through their own interpretations. However, after being spoiled by a reactivity treat like the festival mini-quest, it's disappointing that the remaining dialogues lack similar nuance.

In the Good scenario, Daeran's behavior reinforces what we learn in the epilogue — that in this version, he has the most difficulty navigating through his newfound freedom and redefining himself in it. Choosing the winner of a silly contest shouldn't be hard for him, and it isn't in the Evil outcomes. There, the self-satisfied Count (who in both cases already has the blood of at least one innocent man on his hands) picks what he perceives as an idealized version of himself — be it the aestheticized depiction of his self-centredness or the unbridled and unyielding haughtiness. Noteworthily, in the Happy variant, Daeran openly flirts with the lady and, in both Evil paths, if not romanced, attempts to seduce his favored contestant. It’s peak narcissism, given the implications of the scene. In the peaceful outcomes, especially the Good one, the ordeal is a series of unpleasant self-reflections that even causes him to become overwhelmed by sorrow at one point. In the end, Daeran’s choice stems not from an ulterior motive or a desire to boost his ego but from genuine fondness for the boy. The youngster's belief in the Count’s kindness and heroism reminds him of his own innocence that was prematurely and brutally snatched from him. At his core, Daeran is not a self-sufficient master of his own fate but a helpless child thrown by unfortunate circumstances into otherworldly oppression and a vicious cycle of selfishness. In the Evil routes, he successfully deludes himself into believing he’s the former, but here, he realizes he’s the latter.

We're used to seeing Daeran scoffing at saccharine narratives and lofty ideals, and in the Evil versions, he's indeed annoyed with the boy’s portrayal of him. In one of them, he even anticipates him to be disenchanted, finding the prospect amusing. In the campaign's early stages, the Count voices his dissatisfaction with being enrolled in the crusade and laments the tarnishing of his ill reputation. Any suggestions that he may be secretly vulnerable are met with biting retorts. But now, Daeran doesn't disabuse the child and isn’t even bothered by being seen as a heroic figure. There also isn’t any objection when the Commander points out the similarity between him and the boy. He’s shocked they can see through him but decides to be honest and agrees with their assessment. Daeran’s sensitivity and his tendency to be more emotionally transparent with the protagonist is, at this point, a recurring theme in the peaceful outcomes, so it’s a shame that when they later choose to compliment his vulnerable soul, he's always equally dismissive.

Daeran is perfectly aware of how damaging cruel disillusionment can be to one’s psyche. As a child, he witnessed firsthand the powerlessness of good in the face of evil, the suffering adhering to moral principles can bring, and how those who claim to be righteous can turn out to be as callous and uncaring as hardened villains. These experiences left the young Count with a pessimistic view of the world and human nature, making him adopt coping mechanisms that only deepened his melancholy and loneliness. Knowing this, he wishes to spare the boy a similar fate and plays along to preserve his innocence.

In the non-peaceful outcomes, Daeran gives the signet away as if it was an insignificant bauble. But even though we barely ever see this side of him, some dialogues indicate he’s proud of his heritage and his ancestors' role in Mendev’s history. They were valiant defenders of the kingdom, who, for generations, protected its borders from any threat. This is who the Count, as a scion of the Arendae house, was originally destined to be and who, it so happens, the boy sees in him. Perhaps his take on him makes Daeran reflect on how differently things could have turned out had it not been for his family's demise and the Other’s interference. It undoubtedly revokes memories of his roots and deceased kin, since he not only rewards the child with the ring but also educates him on its meaning and sentimental value, expressing unexpected sincerity and kindness. In the Lobotomy scenario, this gesture is particularly bittersweet — with his impeding childless death, Daeran’s lineage is going to expire, making the memento the only way to keep its memory alive.

Finally, the Good version of the scene carries a deep symbolic significance. Daeran rewards one person who doesn't focus on his superficial traits or recreates the mask he hides behind. The image the boy paints of him may not be accurate, but while the other portrayals embody what the Count turned into under the Other's influence, this one shows what he could have been if he hadn’t lost the childish naivety he now longs for. And who he, despite his own skepticism, still can or perhaps even already started to become, thanks to the good protagonist's compassion and support. Just like the Commander, the boy views him as someone better than what his predicament forced him to be. And Daeran, confronted with sincere faith in him, cannot help but answer the call.

[duketectivecomics]

[ID: An edit by @redroseworks advertising Duke Thomas Week 2023. The background consists of two panel edits of Duke in his Signal costume facing outwardly from the left and right side respectively, and a third Duke in the center in his civilian clothes facing the viewer straight on. There is a dot overlay on these panels and they are broken up into triangular comic panels. The dates and themes for Duke Week are listed in text boxes spread throughout, & are listed in further detail in the post below.]

Once again, it’s

Duke Week 2023!

Further info for this year’s Themes, Rules & Guidelines are under the cut! Be sure to spread the word!

Themes for 2023 (Sept 24th-30th):

Day 1 - Rebellion

From his rough start with Dr. Thompkins, to his rocky team-up with Black Lightning & the Outsiders, Duke’s always been quite the Rebel! Here’s a day to commemorate our Rebellious Rockin’ Robin!

Day 2 - Civilian Life

Duke’s time as a vigilante is full of intrigue & adventure, but what about his time outside of the mask? This day is all about exploring Duke’s civilian identity!

Day 3 - Fav Quote

From his introduction in Batman (2011) all the way up through his more recent appearances in Batman: Urban Legends, there’s plenty of quotes to pull from Duke. But which ones stand out among the crowd? Which ones have resonated the most with you? (And here’s a link to our Duke Reading guide in case you want a refresher!)

Day 4 - What is… Normal? (Meme/Free Day)

A free day for folks to share general Duke work, or of course, memes! This past year I’ve seen an influx as well with more general batfam fans questioning just how ‘normal’ or ‘sane’ our favorite bat is. And to that, I want to invite y’all to come on over and find out!

Day 5 - DnD, Wizards & Knights (oh my!)

One of Duke’s oldest special interests! He’s always been a bit of a fantasy nerd. This day is all about celebrating Duke’s hobbies of fantasy gaming and reading!

Day 6 - We Are Robins (Of the Future)

We’ve celebrated the We Are Robins of the Middletown collective before, but this year we’re predicting where they could go! Duke’s first team will always be an important part of his past, but how could they fit into his future?

Day 7 - Sun vs Moon

And to finish out this year’s Duke Week, we end on another note of duality. Duke’s a bat who operates mainly during the day, and occasionally is called upon at night. The bright sunlight of day may reveal something different about our hero compared to the cool moonlight of night.

Rules & Guidelines:

Tag your posts with “#dukeweek2023” &/or “#duke week 2023” for the event. For Best results use it as one of the first five tags & “@” this blog too. If the work is not reblogged here w/in 24 hrs, feel free to send it directly my way by DMing it to me!

Any medium of fanwork is allowed! Whether it’s fic, art, edits, mixes, meta, or more! In this same vein, multiple works for the same day are also allowed, provided they’re on-theme!

HOWEVER, No NSFW! The character is a minor at this point in canon and we want this week to be as inclusive to fans of all ages as possible.

Fics & ficlets that are posted on tumblr will also need a Read More cut to be up for reblogging. Use the : read more : function (no spaces before the colons) & press enter/return to add a cut to your fic! If linked through Ao3 or other fic websites, no cut is needed. Please provide adequate warnings as they apply to your fic, thank you!

Reposted/stolen art or edits will not be accepted or tolerated.

Got any questions about the event? The ask box is always open! (& remember to reblog & spread the word! Let’s have a GREAT DUKE WEEK!)

[luna13e-blog]

Apparently I do recs now: Borrowed Time (Dronarry)

I've never wrote a fic recommendation before but the more I read the more I feel that screaming in the comments and leaving kudos is not enough. So, here's my first rec and it couldn't be more fitting the fact that is from @the-starryknight, the first person that welcomed me into this fandom two years ago and made me feel at home. So here we go:

Borrowed Time || E || 8k || by @the-starryknight

Harry finds himself in quite a dire situation, waking up in the wrong bed and in the arms of his best friend's lover. From there is a wonderful trip and, even when the tag says #PlotWhatPlot, I believe that there is a plot in the way Harry gets from a panic attack to extremely horny to 'I guess I could get used to this'. If you like fun, soft and sexy fanfics, this is your cup of tea.

This fic is part of the @dronarryfest and before it, I didn't know I could like Ron. I'm a Drarry girl, most specifically a Draco girl, but this fest has made me want to jump into Ron's lap and purr like a cat. The established Dron (is it Dron? I'm new here, so I don't know what I'm supposed to be calling RonxDraco, sorry) is something I've realized I enjoy very much and if you read this, you would too. In such a small amount of words, Starry portrays a wholesome, spicy, and tender relationship between those two. The cheeky way in which they drag horny overthinking Harry into their hands is amusing. The way Starry portrays the duality of Draco, soft and caring with Ron, and teasing and bickering with Harry is amazing, giving our beloved slytherin a dimension I always crave in his characterization. Harry is a panicking horny mess and who can blame him for that. And finally, Ron, cheeky bold Ron who's sure about himself and what he wants. I want a Ron, I need a Ron, and the way is written here is spot on. So, folks, go read it and let me know what you think about it. Is a short, well-written piece with amazing witty comments that I assure would leave you with a big smile on your face.

And that's all, here's my first rec. I'll probably continue with a couple more Dronarry fics. Let me know if you liked it, please, and feel free to scream your thoughts about the fanfic in my comments or ask ;)

[kikizoshi]

Hello, Kizo! you've also mentioned some of the interesting aspects of Gogol's personality I haven't thought about before. Like his pessimism. He is so constantly and desperately wants to seem excited, amused, thrilled, that he's managed to fool me. But it makes sense. "The only salvation from emotions is mine or smn else's death". He is quite pessimistic, just like Dost. And he's a perfectionist. He wants an absolute perfect freedom and nothing in between. Why is he like this, maybe trauma?

Thanks for the interesting asks!

It's neat to me that Nikolai manages to fool you. What I love especially there is that, like you said, while putting on that act he's so energetic, vivacious, and drawn very enthusiastic and animated. But when he breaks character, there's a stillness to him. His shrill tone softens into a meditative tenor; his grand gesticulations withdraw into intimate gestures; his stretched mouth and squinted eyes relax into the visage of a quiet, thoughtful, introspective young man. Harukawa expresses all of this beautifully with their drawings, and I just love it so much. The glimpses we see of the Nikolai under his mask are what made me fall in love with him in the first place--it's what makes his character for me.

One thing I really love expressed in characters like Nikolai is the 'sad clown paradox', which I think fits him pretty well. It's the playful jester character who's internally cynical. Nikolai creates a persona of a spontaneous, silly, horrifically brutal psychopath, but the scant few glimpses we get of him, we see a thoughtful and caring person, so much more and so much opposite just under the surface. I absolutely adore that duality.

I'm not gonna talk about potential backstories for Nikolai; I feel like speculation there is kinda pointless for me, since it could be literally anything. But, I can talk about Gogol's influence on him a bit.

Regarding this:

"The only salvation from emotions is mine or smn else's death". He is quite pessimistic, just like Dost. And he's a perfectionist. He wants an absolute perfect freedom and nothing in between. Why is he like this, maybe trauma?

I see a lot of Gogol's influence here. I'm not sure how much you know about Gogol as a person, so sorry if this is reiterative, but it's important context (and please take my cliffs notes version with a teaspoon of salt; I'm by no means a Gogol scholar). Gogol, at the end of his life--though probably during too--was very concerned with the purity of his soul. Why isn't something I can really comment on, but it seems to have culminated in him going to a radical priest, who advised him to undertake an extreme fast (meant for monks, I believe). Gogol then burned his manuscript for the second part of 'Dead Souls', and starved himself to death over the course of about twelve days (whether or not he meant to die isn't agreed-upon as far as I can tell, but that he died as a result of this fast is). All to reach a purity of soul he felt he didn't have, and couldn't get without drastic actions.

I genuinely have no idea if this story inspired Nikolai's, but I wouldn't be surprised if it did. There are a lot of parallels, and if you replace Gogol's 'religious purity' with Nikolai's 'freedom', you get a similar tragedy. Both seem based on the belief "my mortal/inherent failures/limitations are holding me back from what I need". And rather than go inwards and seek clarity through introspection, both externalise their problems and try to "fix" themselves via grand--and painful--proofs of their "faith/conviction".

There's also the parallel with Gogol's priest and Fyodor, though I'm not sure how much it tracks. Fyodor does seem to have some influence on Nikolai, but it sounds like Nikolai was already on his path when they met... that's all backstory stuff though, so who knows.

Then there's still the missing piece of 'why', with Nikolai. Why does he feel he needs to free himself from his emotions? Gogol's motive makes sense several ways: fear of Hell, self-hatred, a deep, spiraling depression. It's understandable, it's human, it's relatable. But Nikolai's freedom?

That Asagiri chose 'freedom from emotions' to be Nikolai's pursuit isn't something I've ever managed to understand. I just don't get it. I can't connect it to anything. You hear about people wanting to be numb, sure, but Nikolai's wants seem more about being capable of doing anything, or proving that he can... And he said (paraphrasing) "in spite of happiness I choose free will," so at the very least Nikolai thinks he's capable of happiness, and it's just not as important to him as his "freedom."

Yeah, idk. There's definitely something interesting there, though, that Nikolai's Ability gives him the freedom to do pretty much whatever (as Atsushi said in Sunday Tragedy), but he's so wrapped up in his own mind that he either can't see the freedom he has, or physical freedom is ultimately meaningless to him--which would make him seeking freedom through external actions an interesting failure to understand himself.

Then again, I don't know how honest Nikolai's being with himself, honestly. His whole "freedom" thing is an ever-moving goalpost. First it was torture people to death and kill himself. Then it was kill his best friend. Then it got so convoluted I won't even try to summarise it. And now he just seems lost. Giving Asagiri the benefit of the doubt and assuming this is intentional characterisation (and not just giving him plot-convenient reasons to take certain actions), Nikolai seems at best very confused (and trying to appear like he very much isn't). And, well, I'm confused too.

So yeah, all that's very interesting. Not sure how much of it was intended. Hard to tell with a character that gets like one scene every two years. And hard to tell where he'll go, considering how rarely BSD characters stay true to who they were past their debut.

Regarding the pessimism thing: ironically, I'd say Fyodor's pessimism is more optimistic in nature than Nikolai's. Because Fyodor believes in a world that can change. Fyodor believes he can make the world a better place, and is doing everything he can to achieve that. Nikolai, however, in his best case scenario, proves that it's technically true that complete freedom exists. But his world is still comprised of people in cages. It's cynical and oppressive, and his grandest hopes don't come close to changing anything for the better. I think that fits mostly very well with some differences I've observed between Dostoyevsky and Gogol.

[venus-is-thinking]

Deciphering the DRDT Character Playlist

Hello DRDT community! @accirax and I took a look at the official character song playlist [remade version bc it got deleted or privated] and decided to take our own shot at figuring out whose is whose and what it means. It's pretty late, but we have at least some sort of a guess with reasoning for every song!

We used a combination of Genius lyrics, the vocaloid lyrics wiki, and google translation of Japanese lyrics in the YouTube description to get a decently functional interpretation of every song. Our theory goes through the songs in the order they show up on the playlist (we're pretty positive it isn't kill order), which means our confidence varies heavily from song to song. With that being said, let's go!

Diamond is Unbreakable by Yunno Kago: Ace Markey

This song does not have many lyrics, so a lot of our guess is based on vibes (though it gives much more than some other songs). The rock instrumental with more yell-based vocals feels like it suits Ace though, and I feel safe to say that Ace has had a breakdown (and may have many more in the future).

Sing Along by Sturgill Simpson: Teruko Tawaki

This song fits Teruko quite well. It has an edgier sound to it, but it isn't completely uncaring if you look at the lyrics.

I can't go on living alone now that you're gone You done me wrong, so here's your song

It reminds me of the scene where she plays with the cacti. She clearly misses Xander (and possibly others in her past), but that obviously doesn't stop her from feeling betrayed by them either.

There are a lot of lyrics about bitterness too (ex. "words can stab as deep as night," "bitter air and the winds of spite"), which reflect how Teruko has been treating the rest of the cast in Chapter 2. It's a duality of caring too much and acknowledging the harshness of the world, which encapsulates Teruko's character quite well.

RUNAWAY by half alive: Hu Jing

Not gonna lie, we were struggling on this one. This song is pretty much entirely predictive of a character arc that Hu might have later on. We're predicting this based on Hu's secret quote, which is basically the only reason we gave this song to her: "I want to pay for what I've done. But even then, I still want to live."

This implies that she has not paid for "what [she's] done," which probably relates to her secret. I know a lot of people think she might be the hopeless child, but I'm far more partial to the theory that Hu is the one who poisoned her competition. If she hasn't paid for it, it's possible she feels like she ran away, from the situation which could open the door for her handling those feelings later on.

cartoons by Louie Zong: Rose Lacroix

This entire song is about drawing and thought processes, which both relate to Rose's character pretty strongly. The recurring lyric of "it's all just cartoons in [her] head" makes me think of her photographic memory, which takes real life and permanently stores it in her mind.

There are also lyrics like "feeling every day the same" and "trying to make that old deadline" that strongly relate to her background with the Spurling Foundation. She feels like she's just watching the rest of her life go by as a corporate slave, and those feelings are wrapped up in a light and airy song, matching Rose's demeanor.

asymptotic by Louie Zong: Charles Cuevas

This is a silly little nerd love song. As a CharWhit shipper, I definitely think that there's a strong chance that this relates to Charles' feelings about Whit, calling him a "cutie face in x-y space" and other such things. It's pretty simple, but it's true that, romantic or not, a lot of Charles' character arc thus far has revolved around his relationship with Whit and realizing that he does enjoy spending time with his classmates.

However, notably, there's also the lyric "I'll forget," which made me start thinking about Charles' past he forgot about.

Asymptotic, obliquely Here's the point of this speech As close as we could ever get, you'll be just out of reach

This reads to me as being about Charles' memories or the older brother he doesn't remember losing. As close as he can get to remembering or understanding what happened through things like the secrets motive, it won't be the same as actually returning to that past or remembering it in full. Maybe that's reading into things a little too hard, but I think the interpretation is there to be read.

A Mistaken Belief of Love by Niru Kajitsu: Eden Tobisa

I'll be direct: this relates to our theories about how Eden is the Chapter 2 killer. I'm a particular proponent of the interpretation that Eden didn't believe Arei when she said she wanted to be friends and decided she wanted to escape back to her old life, to the girl she kissed. I'm not going to go into that Eden theory now, but @/1moreff-creator and @/thebadjoe have a great thread going back and forth which goes over a lot of what I personally believe to be true.

If you assume that Eden is the killer and wanted to be Arei's friend but gave up on the possibility when Arei snapped at her, the lyrics start to make sense. "Then I'll kill you at our rendezvous" would clearly relate to Eden summoning Arei to the playground just to kill her. "I just wanted to mistakenly believe that you loved me" relates to Eden's feelings towards Arei and the rest of the class, but that "mistaken belief" was shattered, causing her to kill.

Shunran by John/TOOBOE: Arei Nageishi

This song chronicles Arei's entire character arc, from prologue to death. It starts out much more aggressive and unfriendly, saying things like "I won't pay attention to small fry" and "I become angry easily." However, there's a recurring lyric that shows how she actually feels.

They say that praying to be loved is a sin. It has such a sweet scent.

Arei desperately wants to be loved, for people to be nice to her, but she's learned over the course of her life that she couldn't have that. Still, she can't help but want to be loved, so even when she knows that David is a manipulator, she still listens to his words. Even when she knows she's been awful to Eden, she swears she'll do anything to prove to Eden that she's serious, that she really does want to be her friend.

I pledged a ceasefire. My personality peeled off and fell because I have the courage to accept disappointment

As the song progresses, that desperate desire to be loved creeps its way into the actions the singer takes as well. Arei was willing to put aside her meanness she learned as a defense and try to stop the fighting, try to become friends, because she's strong enough to try even if she might fail. Through it all, all she wants is to be loved.

Yesman by Niru Kajitsu and Hachiya Nanashi: Nico Hakobyan

This song has a lot of lyrics relating to how the singer expresses scorn or insults. We know that this is a focal point of Nico's struggles with communication: they don't know what comes across as hostile or helpful.

However, as the song progresses, it gets more purposefully aggressive. There's a particular set of lines that seem to relate to how Nico interacts with Ace. They can tell Ace that they hate him, directly, and no one even blames them.

You could say that and you're still just a kid. How amazing!

This, in my mind, relates to Nico saying that they'll kill Ace (and clearly meaning it), but Hu still babies them. They can get away with all kinds of things.

There's no reason for me to turn back now, huh? I was caught in my own trap

Nico then, realizing that they can get away with a lot, goes after Ace, trying to literally kill him. They were caught, though, explaining the second lyric here.

The song also has a prominent lyric: "I'm an introvert, just waiting." There are variations on this, but I think it gets across the core idea: Nico is quiet, but they're still a part of the story the whole time, waiting for an opportunity to get their way.

Undead Enemy by Suzumu and Giga P: David Chiem

This song hinges around David's false persona of smiles and motivation and his true self who hates everything and everyone.

For whatever reason, he put on a mask symbolizing The leading role he had yearned for in the past.

Here, David is choosing to put on that motivational speaker persona.

And, from the next day onward, The unhappy boy's smile did not falter, He was even loved by someone

David then keeps up that happy and inspirational self, without fail, so that the world will love and accept him as the Ultimate they expect him to be.

However, the lyrics are filled with more hateful lines that sound more like him in Episode 11.

Slander and criticize, and then, I won't need anyone else. Just leave me alone

I act spitefully in disgust and force a smile

While he pretends to be happy and good, he knows himself to be much worse. This song focuses on those true colors.

Drawing Pins by Nothing but Thieves: Levi Fontana

Levi is a very pensive character. The main line of the song is "tell me what you did it for, 'cause I can't figure it out." That could relate to Levi's apparent struggles to understand others and what the "correct" thing to do in social situations is, like when he asks others how to handle the situation with Ace. I also like the interpretation that he could be talking to himself, wondering why he did what he did in the past. (Whatever mysterious past Levi has, it's clear that he did some things he's not thrilled about, and he seems to have a lot of feelings surrounding it.)

What do I have to do To be loved, loved by you

I'm personally not an AceVi shipper, but this line would definitely relate to Ace. Levi messed up in the first trial, threatening Ace, but in Chapter 2, he's trying to make up for it. Nothing he seems to do works, though, so he's at a loss as to what he could possibly do to make it up to him.

Hi-Fi Evolution Theory by Keu Studio: Veronika Grebenshchikova

Disclaimer, we had to put this song through google translate, so our lyrics might not be entirely correct.

Given that, though, I'm pretty confident this song must be Veronika's. There are a lot of lyrics that indicate her, but the most important ones surround what we've most recently learned about her: she can't stand boredom and will do just about anything for fun.

But is it selfish to have fun?

The one who laughs last is the winner

Even though Veronika knows that enjoying the killing game or possibly even working against the group's best interests in it is stupid at best and evil at worst, she'll still do it as long as it keeps her entertained. If she's selfish, she's selfish; she'll do it either way.

tip toes by half alive: Min Jeung

This song heavily ties into Min's outlook which she explains in her bonus episode. The lyrics mention a "need to be known," or a "pride" that's "screaming." She internalized a core need to become an Ultimate to keep her going forward and to preserve her hope.

She does want to change her behavior, though.

My future will listen to me, Listen to me, listen to me

Min is trying desperately to find a life for herself now that she's become an Ultimate. She wants to learn how to live after she's achieved the goal that her entire life has centered around. This song is her searching for the life that she wants to live in spite of her previous experience.

The song also sounds sort of desperate with its repetition of "listen to me" and the overall vibe of the instrumental. This fits in with Min's increasing desperation as she realizes, at the end of the first trial, that she won't have a future to figure out anymore.

Polygonal by fallstay (ふぁるすてぃ): Xander Matthews

This one was also put through google translate, so apologies for any mistranslations!

This song makes sense for Xander if you consider his clear survivor's guilt, visible through both his bonus episode and his secret quote, which is, in the most literal way possible, the dictionary definition of survivor's guilt. It mentions a "life full of mistakes" and describes other similar thoughts.

I'm dizzy and it hurts so much that I feel like throwing up

The urge to scream and someone's loud sobbing

That's my pain

These all feel like ways Xander interprets his past, which is his pain. We already know that Teruko accidentally running into him and hitting his eye hurt so badly he passed out, which is a step beyond "dizzy." Someone could be sobbing about his past; maybe it's even him. The things in his past that haunt him are what shape who he is and his actions, and that's what this song is about.

Spitfire (05 Version) by The Prodigy: J Rosales

This one has like one lyric. The vibes fit J though, and I don't really know who else's it would be or what other song would be hers, so it stays.

desk rotation by RQ laji-2: Arturo Giles

I'm not gonna lie. This is an instrumental. We have no idea what it means. This was process of elimination. I don't know what other song Arturo's would be so he gets this one.

(In all seriousness, you COULD give this one to Hu because it's music and she's a musician, give Arei the more hopeful RUNAWAY and give Arturo Shunran. The beginning of Shunran fits him decently, but I think the interpretation sort of falls apart in the middle of the song, at least given what I know about his character, and I think it fits Arei much better.

After we read some other theories, too, we think there's a viable shuffle that goes like this:

desk rotation: Hu (musical connection) tip toes: Arturo (generally prideful, future emphasis contrasting with his secret forcing him to think about the past) asymptotic: Min (abstracted to apply to the life she wants to seek out, math works as Ultimate Student) RUNAWAY: Charles (relating to him "running" from his past memories, positive growth arc)

While I still like our initial interpretations for Charles asymptotic and Min tip toes, I like the handling of RUNAWAY and desk rotation better with this one.)

For whatever it's worth, I also think there's a slight possibility that desk rotation is a placeholder song. It's a complete instrumental (all other songs have at least SOME lyrics), so it wouldn't be too insane to me if they had a song that they decided was just too spoiler-y to be released to the public. In that case, I think it's possible desk rotation will one day be replaced with a different song. Realistically, though, it's probably just here and we have to figure out what the hell it means.

Good Grief by Bastille: Whit Young

Whit obviously lost his mother at some point, who he clearly idolizes. You can see the glowing way he talks about her in the laundry room with Teruko and Charles, and his secret quote is literally "We tend to idolize the dead." He loves his mother, but given his secret, it's clear that she is dead.

This song is about grief. Whit represses a lot of his emotions, so I expect he hasn't yet felt his grief in full and hasn't processed it. He has, however, made it very clear that he struggles with loneliness, and that has a lot to do with his loss. I think that, over the course of the story, he's going to have to actually process grief and experience sadness. While it's possible that'll just be due to the feelings he has surrounding his mother, given that he's in a killing game, I think that he'll have to confront personal loss again to have this arc.

Regrettably, I think that that'll probably come in the form of Charles dying, likely as a Chapter 3 victim. Others have theorized on that, but suffice it to say that, narratively and based on hints they've dropped, I think it's probably true ( :( ). Whit, as he clearly cares about Charles, would then be confronted with grief again. He'd have to endure it and learn to deal with the loss.

On the plus side, I'd expect he'd be likely to survive afterwards.

[beauty-and-passion]

CCCC Vol.1 - Calamity: introducing the chaos

Hello, everyone.

I made my offer, you accepted. And so, here I am, to talk about Chonny’s Charming Chaos Compendium, Vol. 1.

It will be quite a long ride, so let’s not waste more time and let’s start with…

_______________________________

Obligatory premise

I am not an expert on Chonny Jash, Tally Hall's albums, or any other song besides CCCC. All I know about Chonny is this album, the Q&A cj-anon told me about (thank you, bro! You can read it HERE) and that Mr. Jash has some fine curly hair - and, as a possessor of curly hair myself, I find him very stylish.

So my analysis won't be filtered through the lenses of a fan who knows everything about him. This is the perspective of someone outside the CCCC fandom, who focuses mostly on the album, the songs and all the small details an "outsider" like me might find interesting.

That means two things:

I might say things that are already well-known in the fandom. In that case, sorry for the repetition, I hoped to say something new. But also, hey, that means the album's message was so clear, even an outsider could get it.

I might say things that are wrong/have been denied by Chonny Jash himself. It's unlikely, considering that the man welcomed every interpretation and said it's up to us to decide/read the story as we want, but still, it might happen. In that case, please let me know through messages or reblogs, so I can add the correct information and make my analysis more complete.

One last thing, for all the people who have never heard of this album: the themes are mostly centered around tragedy, mental dissonance and suicide, so they’re not the funniest topics to talk about. Still, If they do not trigger you, try and give this album a chance: it'll be worth your time. I even wrote a whole post to explain why.

_______________________________

My sources

The whole album on YouTube (also, subscribe to Chonny Jash's channel and stream CCCC too, because it deserves it)

This blog that gives a wonderful insight into the songs

The great people on Genius.com always pay a lot of attention to every word of the songs

And here's the Q&A once again, because it always comes in handy

_______________________________

Why a “Charming Chaos Compendium”?

I know Chonny wanted to mimic the "Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum" album title, so instead of MMMM, we have CCCC. But also, why "Charming Chaos' Compendium" specifically? Why not "Confused Catastrophic Compilation" or something else?

Maybe it’s just because “Charming Chaos Compendium” sounds better. But if we consider the whole album, I think these words are simply the best-fitting ones to talk about.

* Chaos: That’s a chaotic album indeed: we have dark thoughts, fears, references to death. Heck, the longest, central section is called “Cacophony”, which shows even better the concept of chaos.

* Charming: Chonny said in the Q&A:

"I’ve been somewhat obsessed with the idea of duality and mental dissonance, not just from an artistic standpoint but from a social/moral perspective. The idea that the same brain can produce completely separate and juxtaposed conclusions from a single input is strange, and something I’ve noticed fairly frequently throughout my currently short life. CCCC is a manifestation of those dissonances from an extremely personal and biased perspective, in song form."

These concepts might be dark, but there’s also a charming component of them - if we consider the adjective “charming” with the meaning of “fascinating”. The “duality” of our brain is one of the mysteries of humankind’s nature that we still can’t fully grasp - a lot of people play with it, like Chonny does here. It’s fascinating to see how he does it and what his interpretation is.

* Compendium: a compendium is a "collection of concise but detailed information about a particular subject" and what's more concise and detailed than a two/three minute song that should explain the situation, show the characters and explore their feelings?

Also, it’s a word of Latin origin - and not the last one, considering Chonny will use three more words with Latin origin to title the three acts of his album (Calamity, Cacophony, Concord).

_______________________________

Time Machine Reprise: start of a new loop

What a peculiar choice for an opening song. What kind of album starts with a reprise?

Well, maybe one that is a time loop. And Chonny made it clear two things about it:

he’s stuck inside it because of the constant clash between Heart and Mind

maybe he will get out of said loop by "writing different songs"

Keep both of them in your mind, when we will reach the last songs of Concord.

Also, do not forget why this is the Calamity act: as the name suggests, a calamity is a “disastrous event that leads to tragic, dramatic consequences” - in this case, the split of Chonny’s mind into three parts.

But what is this event? What happened that was so “disastrous” to lead to such a drastic split? And how are the two things connected?

_______________________________

Dream: Soul's introduction

It’s very telling that the first character who appears right after Chonny’s introduction is Soul. And it’s even more interesting, if we remember what Chonny said about Soul in the Q&A:

"The Soul is slightly separated — fittingly — in that I didn’t know exactly what to call the character when I was first bringing them to fruition. ‘Body’ was the original name if I remember correctly, but it felt kind of wrong, as I wanted the character to be a little less concrete/tangible. The third character was always meant to be a sort of husk/shell/veneer, and so it took me a while to settle on ‘Soul’."

So, Soul:

is slightly different/separated from Heart and Mind

was supposed to be the Body

is a sort of husk/shell/veneer

And if we also consider that:

Soul’s introduction comes right after Chonny’s

Soul often refers to Chonny/Whole by using the words “me/myself” (Mucka Blucka, The Soul Eclectic, The Bidding), while Heart and Mind talk about Whole as “their vessel”

I think we can safely assume that Soul is closer to Chonny, compared to the other two sides. And we have a confirmation of that, considering Soul’s nature: since he’s a husk/shell, Soul “contains” Chonny, while Heart and Mind are more like “attributes/aspects” of Chonny.

In addition to that, Dream adds other information about this character:

*Soul is aware of the loop: Soul’s reaction to the start of a new cycle is panic, then tiredness. "I don't know if I can go another round of cacophony", he says and that alone proves he knows what happened and he knows what will happen, because he already experienced all of it.

This point is also fundamental for the worldbuilding, because it implies that Chonny and his sides have the same amount of information and the same level of awareness. Unlike works like Sanders Sides in which the parts hide information from their whole, CCCC does not have this delay. All Chonny knows, his sides know as well.

*Soul is tired of Heart and Mind: "My sympathy's draining me dry" implies that there was a time (maybe in previous loops) in which he was more sympathetic towards them. But after reliving the loop who knows how many times, he’s growing tired of their constant bickering.

*Soul is more powerful than Heart and Mind: this is only the first time he implies they need to “take him over”, but neither of them is strong enough to “control him”.

*Soul is moved by the will to live: for the entire album, Soul has one goal and one goal only. To reunite. To come back into one. And even if he gets tired of Heart and Mind, even if he ponders suicide, to finally get some peace, in the end it’s hope that prevails. Right when it seems the dark thoughts are taking over, Soul finds the strength to try again, one more time. And maybe "when we become whole, it'll hold".

All of this is not motivated by religion or faith in a superior being, but by pure, simple, will to live. Life is short, so it’s better to give it a try anyway, rather than not try at all and regret it.

But that’s not all. This song also introduces names here, so let’s talk a bit about them too:

Apollo - god of the sun, but also of arts, oracles, and knowledge. Wikipedia also adds:

His oracles were often consulted for guidance in various matters. He was in general seen as the god who affords help and wards off evil. 

and

Apollo also encouraged the founding of new towns and the establishment of civil constitutions, is associated with dominion over colonists, and was the giver of laws.

Wow, isn’t that very fitting for Mind? He also wants to become the "giver of laws" and the one who "wards off the evil” aka Heart (The Mind Electric).

Artemis - sister of Apollo, associated with the moon, goddess of nature and animals and:

(she) punishes harshly those who cross her. Artemis' wrath is proverbial, and represents the hostility of wild nature to humans

So Heart isn’t associated with love and kindness as anyone would expect, but with wilderness and instincts.

And wow, isn’t this fitting as well? Heart himself will tell he’s not just the love, but also “the hate” and “the emotional side”. Of course he’s wild and impulsive. And yes, there’s also the Juno incident which is another great proof.

Atlas - a Titan condemned to hold up the sky for eternity. Basically Soul’s job: to keep everything together, while the other two fuckers slowly make their vessel crumble. And he does it in all the time loops. Poor Soul, he definitely needs a vacation.

Harmonia - goddess of harmony and concord. That should represent the union of these three characters into Whole/Chonny. And I love that Wikipedia specifically used the word "concord" - the same Chonny chose for his third act. He was saying from the start that this is the goal to reach.

And they will, but only by going through a long, long round of Cacophony.

Next post ->

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

@royalprinceroman @mudpuddlenl @allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia @whatishappeningrightnow@effortiswhatmatters @bella-in-a-bag @doydoune @forever-third-wheeling @payte @hypnossanders​  @idontreallyknow24​  @imcrushedbyarainbowoffical @patton-cake​  @hereissananxiousmess​  @purplebronzeandblue​  @cynicalandsarcastic​ ​@lost-in-thought-20 @andtheyreonfire​ 

@riseofthewerewolf​ @rosesandlove44​​  @chewy-rubies @groaaaaan​ @arya-skywalker  @csi-baker-street-babes @queen-of-all-things-snuggly @reesiereads @dracayd-universe​ @starlightnyx​ @stubbornness-and-spite​ @averykedavra @joyrose-fandomer @mihaela-tbg @igonnatalknothing

@thatoneloudowl @grayson-22 @softangryfuckingdepressed @theotherella  @boopypastaissalty @nevenastark @varthandiveturinn @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside @coldbookworm @snixxxsmythe @charmingcritter  @analogical-mess @emphasis-on-the-oopsie @selfdestructivecat @yangwalkerao3 @the3rddenialist

[torgawl]

can we talk about sukuna and rika and why the king and queen of curses having a dispute is also narratively fitting? if sukuna is an heian era sorcerer with an antipathy and disregard of human emotions and the weak's will to live, blind to love and unable to comprehend the value of relationships with others then rika, as his counterpart, works especially well. rika is just a kid, or was just a kid. an innocent young girl who ended up dying tragically and saw herself transform into a vengeful spirit after being cursed by love. not only does she represent the weak (remember when sukuna's slaughter of women and children was implied?), she represents love itself. with her feelings lingering after death, she clinged onto her existence with the sole wish of protecting yuuta. it counteracts so well with sukuna's selfish will to kill time before his final breathe, which he admitted to be his will and motivation.

before i move on to my next idea, which let me preface by saying that it might be a little out there and dives into theory territory, i'm going to contextualise it with some information on the symbolism of "king and queen" that might help understand why this thought may make - at least some - sense.

in alchemy the king usually appears in conjunction with the queen, representing the sun-and-moon duality. in accordance with the theory of sulfur and mercury, which together, after alchemist purification, form the philosopher’s stone (also called the elixir of life, associated with rejuvenation and immortality), usually represented by the crowned hermetic androgyne (the union of the complementary male and female, achieving perfection or completion in the human state). according to jung, the king and queen also signify the spiritual conjunction that takes place when the process of individuation is complete, with the harmonious union of the unconscious and consciousness. jungian psychology has subjected the alchemistic tradition to extensive analysis and views the king less as an image of paternal authority and more as an archetype of higher insight and wisdom.

with that in mind, i think it's easy to understand where i'm headed but i want to add something else. remember jjk 0? geto's plan at the time was to obtain rika so he could use her power and move forward with his plan to annihilate all no-sorcerers. he believed her to be the key to achieve his goal and was willing to risk his own life for it. furthermore, the story is highly based on buddhist concepts and one of the core aspects of jujutsu kaisen is the cycles of suffering the characters are subjected to. in buddhism the goal is to become free of the samsara (continuous cycle of life, death and rebirth), eliminate suffering and achieve nirvana (enlightment). this ties withe the name of the series as kaisen is comprised of the kanji 'kai', meaning cycle, and 'sen', meaning battle, which combined with jujutsu (which means magic/sorcery but contains the word curse) describe the story as an endless battle of curses. and in a sense, the story also repeats itself, between generations and storyline-wise with the events circling back to how it all began. yuuta managed to land a fatal strike on geto once again, but now rika is pointed to be in a direct confrontation with sukuna as the queen of curses. now that i went through all the context needed to understand this, is it possible rika is once again in danger of being taken away? the idea of achieving a state of perfection with the unity between king and queen is quite intriguing. sukuna finally addressing yuuji as a worthy rival because of his unshakable resolve and unbreakable soul, is almost directly implying yuuji to be the one with whom sukuna has his last battle. an ultimate power-up (or the equivalent to), would be veyy cathartic before a final fight where yuuji would have the opportunity to finally go all out and have his well awaited and deserved protagonism (in my eyes, at least).

[thelunarfairy]

hi

when I see this picture I sometimes think that Sakura is controlling tsukasa using the radio .well what do you think about this picture

Is it true that tsukasa is getting stronger with the destruction of the yourishiro

Nice day

Funny, I was talking about this with a friend the other day hahaha

Apparently yes, Sakura seems to be wanting to hide her actions from Tsukasa, although this scene is quite controversial because she is with the kokujoudai, and if she is with him, Tsukasa would know what she did.

What it suggests is that Sakura doesn't seem very satisfied that her wish is close to coming true. She doesn't seem happy about it, Tsukasa himself asks her.

He's not the type to leave work half done, how troublesome would it be if she gave up?

At the same time we have the classic duality or counterversion of JSHK, Sakura wants Yashiro to remove the seals and everything to be destroyed.

So how do we fit in the idea that she doesn't want to fulfill her desire and at the same time does?

Maybe she just doesn't want Tsukasa to know something specific or she doesn't want to pay for that wish in the future. Or she wanted to gain Nene's trust.

If Sakura hadn't said that Tsukasa wasn't listening to the conversation, what difference would it have made to Nene? She didn't even know that Sakura couldn't talk about her lifespan, or rather, she didn't even know that Sakura had that knowledge.

Let's remember that Sakura seems to have difficulty relating to humans, she always reads books to try to understand Mitsuba or how to act socially, the moment she meets Nene she becomes confused.

Nene says she was expecting a trap and Sakura apologizes for not setting one. Did you understand?

Sakura's intentions and feelings are still mysterious, she seems to have a secret that not even Tsukasa knows, or that she doesn't want him to know.

Basically she told Nene that if she doesn't remove the seals she will stay alive, but at the same time she wants Nene to remove the seals. She also makes a point of showing Nene what happened to Sumire because she didn't remove the seal.

It could be because Sakura is impatient and doesn't want to wait for Hanako to destroy Tsukasa, which I imagine would take a long time or not actually happen. Yashiro removing the seal would be faster, wouldn't it?

So let's look at one more hypothesis, what if Tsukasa wants Hanako to destroy him? He wanted to see how Amane was going to kill him, so he might want to see if Hanako would have the courage to destroy him or for some other reason.

And that's why he didn't want Yashiro to see how Sumire was devoured, because he wanted it to be just between him and his brother? He specifically wanted Nene to remove the seal, but the one who sent Hakubo back to the boundary was Sakura. Tsukasa sent Yashiro there and Tsukasa asked Sakura if she had found Sumire, that is, Sakura didn't say that she sent Hakubo there.

So Tsukasa imagined that the one who took the seal was Yashiro, because the boundary was destroyed, so hypothetically he wouldn't know that the one who destroyed Sumire was Hakubo and that Yashiro found out what happens when she doesn't take the seal.

If Kokujoudai knew that Hakubo ate Sumire (because Koku was with Sakura and she was on the boundary) then it means that Tsukasa knew too.

Unless Kokujoudai is also against Tsukasa for some reason.

In the arc of the clock, Nene lets slip some information

When Yashiro refuses for the first time to take off his yorishiros, Tsukasa asks why "you were taking them off before, why it's only now a problem?"

Then, little Nene says that she doesn't want to take the yorishiros away because she's going to die, and Tsukasa doesn't react in any way to that, in fact he ignores it, which suggests that he already knew, or that he just found out but didn't showed no reaction to this.

So, all of this is still a bit nebulous to interpret correctly, we need more information before choosing a more suitable hypothesis.

About Tsukasa being stronger with the removal of the seals. We don't know, he doesn't show much of his abilities other than the physical strength and agility that we are used to seeing. But, I noticed that Tsukasa seems to be acting more "human" than he usually does. Especially in the last chapters.

It seems like he's showing the more "Tsukasa" side rather than the "creature" or God side, whatever you prefer to call it.

So far this was one of the only subtle changes I noticed in him. For now

For now, that's what we can speculate. I hope you liked it, thanks for the ask! ♡

[dr0p-dead-gorgeous]

if you're still taking requests, plz a scenario, with Hannibal, with a Fem S/O who is Aspect of Gluttony, usually eating things that are inedible, raw meat or even eating more than their own size, imagine them meeting for the first time in his office for an appointment and she is wearing a muzzle to stop her from eating things, bonus her personality is calm, soft spoken and gentle, the duality of when she is hungry.

Thank you for your attention and time, drink water!

Thanks anon for the great scenario! S/O reminds me a lot of six from little nightmares. I drew inspo from that, I hope you like it, tell me if you do and don't be shy to give me critique! I wrote this as a one shot let me know if you want anything different

Hannibal x Fem!Reader

Jack had called will in on a case. The cold autumn air bit his skin as he was lead through the frigid forest to the crime scene Hannibal following close behind "Victim was found by a hiker, who thought it was a wild animal attack until they saw.. Well the bite marks". Lying on their back laid the victim their face was mauled beyond recognition their shirt was torn exposing their half eaten chest. Their arms were eaten down to the bone stomach ripped open messy unorganized rips and tears littered their body. Hannibal frowned he knew exactly who did this your bite marks were all over the victim your saliva messily strewn about they would surely trace it back to you.He likes encourageing you behavior but it seems like you might not come back from this. Will stood in his usual trance and reconstructed it in his head. He was suddenly running through the forest, it was sunset and his mind was in a manic haze " It's happening again, i grip my stomach falling against a tree." He looked up to the sound of rustling leaves and jogger approached "Hey ma'am are you ok? "they questioned stopping at their side. He looked up Continuing to Narrorate" I so sorry, I don't want to hurt you, but the hunger.. " he stands up straight " I warn the victim, telling them to go away but they do not listen, I can't hold back any longer". "I lunge at the victim biting their neck and ripping out a chunk, they fall back shocked choking on blood I proceed to maul them trying desperately to quench my hunger." " it feels like I think for hours trying and failing to stop,not stopping until I could no longer fit any more in my stomach." He rises " when I finally come back to my senses, I'm horrified of what I've done. I run away. " Will finally snaps out of it. " The victim was eaten alive". So it was some type of sick cannibal, hunting for sport? "." no, this was too desperate, too rushed, they couldn't stop themself, they tried going into the woods so they couldn't hurt anybody, unluckily for them, they ran into this person.

Hannibal remembers the first time you met like it was yesterday, you came to his office for an appointment , as a child you were usually quite well behaved, but as you grew you developed a violent hunger,you ate very large amounts but it was never enough,when hungry you would eat anything you could fit into your mouth. often lashing out at anyone who tried to stop you. Soon enough you began eating everything you could get your hands on frenzied hungers grew worst, your parents were concerned, but finally drew the line when they found you eating the corpse of your beloved childhood hamster. They sent you to multiple facilities, and did many tests to try to figure out was wrong but no one seemed to quite know the reason.You lived most of your adolescence in and out of therapy. You were able to handle it better eventually you were at a place where you were able to suppress the urges,able to move out, get a job and live a relatively normal life. You saw a psychiatrist regularly going to therapy, but you're violent hunger returned, your psychiatrist couldn't handle it anymore and referred you to Hannibal. That's how you ended up sitting in this office.

Hannibal opened the door to you "Ms. L/N I suppose? " he asked glancing down at your muzzle,paying it no mind. You nodded "Come in". You walked as he lead you to his desk " please, sit", he motioned to the chairs next to it" It's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Lecter"."The pleasures all mine, now what brings you here? " " Well other than the referral I come here for my..hunger problems. "I see I infer that's why your wearing a..muzzle of sorts? " "Yes, you see when I get hungry I can't seem to stop myself, I have this intense urge to eat things I shouldn't and I always end up giving in" he tilted his head " what are these things that you 'shouldn't eat " " well, any food I can get my hands on really, trash, small animals bugs, small dogs, Recently what got me here, human flesh.. " this caught his attention "You have eaten.. People? " he said calmly very good at hiding his excitement "Well yes and no.. I had taken a bite out of someone's arm in an episode and I must admit it was quite.. Odd. I've never tasted such a thing" he sat for a second "have you thought a lot of eating another person" "it has crossed my mind" "Do you want to? "

After that first appointment he was instantly taken by you, intrigued. You had an inherently calm and gentle nature, outside of your ravenous spouts you loved animals and were quite polite. But when you're hungry, there's something so different, so passionate, so deliciously violent that drew him in to your sweet perfume. The more he saw you, the more he wanted to see what you are capable of, to push your limits. He wouldn't admit it but he was obsessed with you, he began to act as a friend outside of the office, this turned to him taking you to the opera and even to your protests he took you home to make you dinner.

You sat in his dining room , figeting, nervous.What if you lost your cool? How embarrassing would it be. You didn't have much time until a heavenly smell hit your nose so familiar, yet you couldn't put your finger on it. Your stomach grumbled and you were glad that you still had your muzzle on. You could feel your hunger rising you needed to eat soon or you would break. Luckily for you he soon came out with a beautifully cooked steak, it looked a bit odd and smelled so familiar, but you were so overcome with hunger. You didn't care quickly, taking off your muzzle " I must warn you, doctor Lecter I'm quite a messy eater. " " I assure you with your condition that's perfectly fine and please, call me Hannibal." You gave him a smile before diving in you were done in a flash, but it was weird you were oddly sated usually you be far more hungry but something about that meat...it was all too familiar you looked at him,still eating his food"That was lovely what was that might I ask"."Steak"This was the start to an odd relationship to say the least.He began to fuel your need for human flesh without you knowing but it was only a matter of time until he led you where you were now. Desperate in the woods,shaken and trying to catch your breath running as blood surrounded your mouth. Terrified, but by God you were finally full

Hope you enjoyed! 💗

[sitp-recs]

LIV!! <3 if you still have a spot left for a smutty Kinktuary rec list, I'd love to hear about your favorite *hate sex* fics or art! I feel like it's not as big a trope as it used to, but it fits Drarry so well 🥵🥵 (other ships, too! feel free to rec those as well!) xx

Hello Elise my darling! There’s always a spot for you 💜 especially coming in with those Drarry essentials! I was secretly hoping someone would ask for that one because I agree it feels like this trope is not so popular nowadays but it remains the quintessential Drarry brand imo. You’re probably familiar with these, but I hope you can find some new gems and enjoy! For anyone wondering, this ask/list is related to my Kinkuary game!

Won The Battle by Lokifan (1k)

“Fucking him is like being at war.”

Clean by @shealwaysreads (1k)

Sometimes they fight, sometimes they do the other thing.

Duel and Duality by cryptonym (1.7k)

Apparently Potter and Malfoy don't know the difference between fighting and f***ing.

You Either Fuck or You Get Fucked by @fw00shy (2k)

“Except I'm not getting fucked." “I'm pretty sure we're both going to get fucked."

The Language of Power by Lokifan (2k)

Harry loves talking in Parseltongue to Draco during sex: his response is just delicious. Dark Harry

Alpha by @lqtraintracks (2.6k)

Finding out I’m Malfoy’s Alpha and he’s my Omega might have gone a lot differently had we not still hated each other. But we do, so here’s how it goes:

The Willing Flesh by @corvuscrowned (2.7k)

Draco shows Harry how to do blood magic. Harry shows Draco just how powerful The Chosen One can become.

Mad Blood Stirring by provocative_envy (3k) AU

It's not like they've been angrily hooking up on the sly since meeting at a Juniors skills camp in fucking Manitoba four years ago, except that's exactly what they've been doing.

Sores by mijeli (3.4k)

It's been going on for weeks. They don't talk about it.

Cheaters Prosper by bryoneybrynn (4k)

Draco won the Slytherin-Gryffindor match by cheating. Harry has a problem with that.

Hurt for the Right Reasons by @lqtraintracks (4.5k)

Everything was so cocked up. He just wanted this one thing. He wanted to hurt for the right reasons for once.

Between Two Fires of Beltane by secretsalex (5k)

As the war drags on, Draco becomes a spy for Voldemort and works his way into Harry’s good graces—and his bed. When the Order prepares to invade Malfoy Manor, Draco is forced to examine his loyalties.

Hurt Me, Fuck Me (Just Don’t Hate Me) by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (6k)

Potter is panting moist puffs of air into his face and grinding what is now a full-on erection against Draco’s own, glaring at Draco with the same mixture of confusion-exasperation-helpless-raging want that Draco feels for the git, day after day, coursing through his bloodstream, making him feel at once like he’s flying and drowning.

Checking out the Opposition by birdsofshore (6k)

Harry and Draco seem quite wound up after their latest game of Quidditch.

The Things They Never Say by bixgirl1 (9k)

“Do we always have to fight first?” Harry asks breathlessly, shoving his hips forward in a quick rhythm.

What I Do to You by @gracerene (9k)

These days, apathy fogs Harry's mind. Malfoy's the only one who makes Harry feel anything at all. Harry doesn't really care that the feelings aren't good ones. He deserves it.

Lacking Conviction by fleetofshippyships (10k)

After a mission goes sideways and they're lucky to walk away unscathed, Harry doesn't want to deal with the ensuing argument and floos home mid-angry tirade from his partner. He doesn't count on Malfoy just flooing through right after him to pick up where they left off.

I'll never be your chosen one by @andithiel (15k)

Draco doesn't know what exactly he’s doing with Potter, he doesn't know how their unspoken agreement even started, and doesn't know where it will end. The only thing he knows is: he's not in love.

Burn the Curtains and the Wine by PalenDrome (24k) AU

There are two versions of Harry Potter: the wizard who is the Ministry of Magic's most dangerous and successful assassin, and the husband who leads a staid life of domesticity with a reformed Death Eater. And never the twain shall meet.

Unhook the Stars by jad (70k)

Seventy-thousand words of pornographic discourse between two boys-turned-men that still haven't learned how to communicate like normal people – with words.

That Old Black Magic by bixgirl1 (77k)

Centuries ago, marriage contracts were the norm — ready-made alliances between families, expected and complied with, without complaint. But norms have a way of changing, and when a long-dormant contract flares to life, Harry has to navigate an unexpected splintering of the path he'd thought would be easy after the war... with Draco Malfoy.

[fiona-frauenfell]

MPHFPC character’s godly parents

because the release date for the PJO show was announced yesterday!

Jacob, son of Hermes

I’m going to be honest, I don’t have a real reason as to why I put Jacob here; it just feels right. It might be the fact that Hermes is made to be the catchall cabin, and that for some time, Jacob doesn’t know his peculiarity. I think it’s be cool if he was “unclaimed” until the end of the first book.

Emma, daughter of Ares

Ares is a rather aggressive and rash god, similar to Emma. She is known to snap from time to time and sometimes lets her emotions get the best of her. Where do fire powers come into this? One word; spite. I think I’d be funny if Ares somehow gave a child of his for powers to spite his girlfriend’s husband (though I know this is practically impossible.)

Millard, son of Athena

Millard is very intelligent; he’s the brains of the operation who always has a plan. I think this puts him perfectly in Athena cabin! Also, Annabeth got a hat that makes her invisible from Athena, and Millard is invisible, so…

Bronwyn, daughter of Tyr

Bronwyn feels like the child of a war god to me, but Ares/Mars didn’t feel right, so Tyr is what I decided. One of the things children of Tyr can do (or I guess can’t do) is never refuse a challenge. In book one Emma claims that Bronwyn “could not forgo a competition of any kind,” This makes it seem like Bronwyn would fit in fine with other children of this war god.

Hugh, son of Mars

Mars is a god who will never fight without a reason, and I see a lot of that in Hugh. On numerous occasions he’s seen fighting with people to defend those he cares about. He’s also the god of agriculture, which is quite compatible with Hugh’s peculiarity.

Fiona, daughter of Demeter

Do I really need to explain this one? For those who don’t know, Demeter is the goddess of plants and her children have the ability to manipulate all types of vegetation. That’s also a pretty accurate description of Fiona’s peculiarity.

Horace, son of Somnus

His last name is Somnusson; Somnus son, like son of Somnus, Roman god of sleep. Children of Somnus also have the ability to control dreams (even if they don’t have prophetic ones.)

Enoch, son of Apollo

Yes, Hades is an obvious option for Enoch, but I think Apollo could work, as well. I really like this idea because Enoch’s peculiarity is a lot more anatomical than Hades children, since he physically has to put the hearts in their bodies. And with Apollo being the god of medicine, this could be categorized as healing? Maybe?

Olive, daughter of Frigg

Frigg is the norse sky goddess, and she’s the goddess of family. Similarly, Olive is a very welcoming character who can become friends with almost anyone, and make anyone feel like family. She also can float, which is similar to a power many demigods of the sky gods possess; flying.

Claire, daughter of Freya

Freya is also a Norse goddess; specifically one of love and beauty. Claire is described as being a pretty girl who looks almost doll-like. But just like Freya (who is also the goddess of war), Claire has a vicious side when she uses her back mouth. The duality of this goddess works perfect for this equally dual character.

[period-dramallama]

Review: The Concubine by Christopher Bae Rae

TLDR: The first 3 chapters are great, the last third is great, the middle bit is kinda meh. I want to proofread and tweak this book, but overall I could recommend it to someone really into Anne Boleyn.

Overall this is a good depiction of how events evolve, with the delineation of responsibility between King and Cromwell fuzzy. A lot of factors combine to make this storm of disaster.

For @fideidefenswhore xxx many thanks for buying this and The King's Mind for me, I hope the review entertains.

We begin with Anne waiting impatiently for news of the death of 'Aragon' (Chris, please just call her the Princess Dowager. Aragon is not a surname!)

She has chosen Edward for her unborn son's name. A fitting choice, and chock full of dramatic irony, especially as Anne isn't wrong that a king called Edward will 'cleanse England of popery'. Anne's ambition for her son is sad because we know what will happen, but there is an unpleasant streak to Anne who imagines how "sweet" Princess Mary's death would be.

"All is well and all manner of things will be well." It's nice to see Rae has at least a passing knowledge of the Bible- better than most Tudor novelists.

"Her heart was black!"

Anne:

I'm narrowing my eyes at the characterisation of Janes Seymour and Rochford but it's not TOO bad. Could be worse.

Henry examining the heart was a great touch. The tension, the duality of his response: amazement at the human body but also a Christian revulsion/fear/disappointment at its animalness. The tension felt very Tudor, Christian, and (renaissance) humanist all at once.

Also his suspicion at Katherine's death feeds nicely into his paranoia. Will whoever did it stop at Katherine? It's a good moment for his character arc. Anne's laughing at the heart is also in character in a dark-sense-of-humour kind of way.

"Henry does not care to admit it, even to himself, but he sometimes feels a sensation of being overwhelmed by her energy and confidence, an uncomfortable intimation that she does not always quite remember her place. A feeling that she may in some ways be quicker and cleverer than he is."

It would be nice to have some more dialogue. Anne and Henry spend a happy evening together and the narration tells us about it but it would be nice to hear them banter and bounce off each other, especially given what's going to happen.

Henry doesn't seem that enthusiastic about Katherine in his dream but it IS a dream so I wouldn't be surprised if he's got a case of self-serving memory and his brain has retconned any memories of happiness with Katherine.

"The continuance of your house must be seen to be assured, for without that the continuance of their own is in peril." A good point.

Rae handled the yellow-wearing incident well: Anne doesn't want to, but she didn't persuade Henry in time.

"She waves her hand, as if this might be sufficient to consign Mary to some kind of perpetual limbo."

I am very pleased to see an acknowledgement that Anabaptists exist and are persecuted by Protestants, as they're ignored in 99.9% of Tudor novels especially Protestant-leaning novels: "These are madmen, their views are too extreme for any God-fearing Lutheran and they must be suppressed. But such people are a sign of these times." BUT Protestantism is not about going forward, but BACK- back to an ideal golden age late antiquity Christianity of simple purity. Protestantism in this novel comes across like innovation which is certainly not how Protestants like Anne would have seen it. (yes I know the word Protestant itself is anachronistic because it's a 1550s word but bear with me).

Elizabeth Boleyn is well written: blunt, shrewd, loving but not emotive, but also not judged for having a stiff upper lip. "her mother comes and bustles, exuding a strained air of optimism." I like this portrayal of Elizabeth as being strong for other people, it's a nice bit of characterisation for a minor character. There's a good back and forth between Norfolk, Anne and the Boleyn parents.

Fat Wolsey stereotype...did Anne really hate him? Some historians have questioned that. It would have been interesting to see a fresher interpretation of their interactions.

We're leaning hard into the "Thomas More is a sadist torturing people in his house and he loves burning people" myth BUT I will give it half a pass because it's Anne's perspective and it makes sense she'd unquestioningly absorb Protestant gossip. It also leans hard into Fisher and More being personal enemies of Anne, saying they refused the oath to the succession when it was the supremacy More refused to swear to. More was willing to swear to the succession, and it was Anne's own ally Cranmer who suggested a compromise: More swearing to the succession alone.

Opening a chapter with Henry coming to from the jousting accident was very effective because we are like Henry, we don't have the immediate knowledge of what just happened (in theory anyway lol we know the history.)

'Something very bad must have happened to him.' You don't say.

I think Rae's portrayal of Norfolk is a little OTT. Don't get me wrong, I hate Norfolk, I don't give him a nuanced sympathetic portrayal in my own writing- he's ruthless, condescending, materialistic, greedy, and obsessed with hierarchy to the point of comedy- but I think it's OTT to make him literally stinky. Norfolk was a git but he was an aristocratic git, so there's no reason for him not to cover himself in rosewater or musk or civet or rose oil and chew cloves and mint for fresh breath.

"It's not for the first time that she imagines that the duke's death would not cause her any great or lasting sorrow." Spitting facts.

"These men, with their constant needing, wanting, thrusting- can they not ever leave off?" I can see the real Anne thinking this.

Cromwell is called the chancellor, but that was Audley- as Rae says later in the book. What gives? Is this a different chancellorship? Rae really really really wants to keep reminding us that Cromwell is an efficient fixer who knows 'where everything is and who it belongs to.' He is described as having a 'prodigious capacity for work' and I'm pretty sure I've seen that exact phrase in a history book.

Anne's panic and shock written very well: "She stares at the cloth and the stain, as if it is a trick of the light and gazing at it intently enough might cause it to disappear."

Christopher loves adding in definite articles. "The relief floods through her" "the tears staining her pretty cheeks" "a part of" rather than "part of". "Skill at the jousting" "threatened with the torture".

But he also misses out words and letters. I had to silence my inner editor reading this, I was itching to get my red pen, particularly in the middle third of the book. 'You' where it should be 'your', 'away' when it should be 'way' 'when sings' instead of 'when he sings' 'is wife' instead of 'his wife'. 'He is mind is elsewhere'. Sometimes Rae will say the same thing twice but in different words. I'm itching to tidy up some of these sentences.

"Soon enough they are ensconced together in the study very privately and Cromwell can speak his mind having first taken the precaution of having his guest sign a solemn of secrecy."

"Cromwell asks his guest if he would care to view the current progress of the works he is undertaking on the new accommodation and the splendid garden."

"the style favoured by old Granny Beaufort." I'm wincing.

Hire me as a proofreader, Chris!! Let me tidy your sentences!! My rates are super duper reasonable!! ;) xx

"She must be bright and gay" I was surprised to see such an antiquated use of 'gay' in a book published AFTER 2010.

"she must amuse and entertain him as only she can do, she must have faith in their future and give him confidence in it."

The image of their relationship as a sinking ship works particularly well given that ship-jewel she gave him with the self-insert maiden onboard.

If an old woman is talking shit about you why do you eat her gift of pastries?! She's probably spat in them AT LEAST.

Sir 'Nick''s suggestions to Henry are so heavy-handed that the manipulation is almost darkly comedic.

I am narrowing my eyes at Chapuys contemplating 'the austere beauty' of the chapel at Austin Friars. It's just a little early for Protestant whitewash aesthetics to come in. I'll give it a pass.

"The king's amours are not my affair, my dear Eustace."

"I can see that you are unhappy about these arrangements, and of course I sympathise. I do not much like them myself...Seymour having the king's ear, or to dwell on what nonsense he may be pouring into it. But I do not think we should be unduly alarmed about any of this." Cromwell is very clever here, using 'we' and joining their interests together to convincingly sound like he's Anne's ally.

"The ambassador is more than capable of building towering insubstantial castles of speculation in the air; he is also a master of the direct question." Good! But Chapuys would talk of Christendom, not a brotherhood of Catholic nations.

I do think Chris should have read Macculloch on Cromwell, because this Cromwell is too secular. "Survival is in the end his only goal." As Macculloch showed, Cromwell took risks for the sake of the reformation and he also made political errors because he wanted to found a political dynasty through his son Gregory. So Cromwell has multiple motives: yes he wants money, power, prestige, etc., but he is devout too. "not a wit, a raconteur, a teller of tales." It's unfair on Cromwell to portray him as someone who can't amuse highborn ladies: the real Cromwell was an outgoing, hail fellow well met kind of guy.

The Tudor court does feel rather depopulated, Anne is alone with Nan a lot. Where are her other ladies? they tend to vanish.

The king eating partridge with a cherry sauce, a nice detail as IIRC cherries were a favourite of Henry's. "His smile congeals upon his face into a cold mask of reserve."

The memory of being 6 years old and sheltering in the Tower was a good character moment for Henry, especially him recreating the rebellion with his toys. There's a cold pride to Elizabeth of York as well as the typical motherly tenderness, which I like. She was born a Princess after all.

"Do you follow?" He follows. Cromwell has no trouble following." Double meanings! We love double meanings!

Nan Gainsford trying to help Anne by mentioning Mark Smeaton's crush...oh, Nan. A great moment of tragedy. "Cromwell looks at her, quietly recording every word for a remembrance." Later on "Anne nods, as always Nan's good counsel can be relied upon."

I do think this story is missing some key parts, like the scene where Chapuys around Easter 1536 was forced to publicly acknowledge Anne as queen, suggesting the plot to destroy her was rather last minute. Henry orchestrated that little diplomatic trap, and it doesn't really fit Rae's framing of events. Also the countess of Worcester should have been involved in Anne's downfall, but instead it's Jane Rochford.

The meeting with Lady Rochford is enjoyable as fiction but it seems unclear whether she is on Anne's side or not. The real Jane wouldn't want Anne to fall- her fortunes are tied to Anne as history showed: when the Boleyns fell Jane would never be as rich again.

"[Anne] has thought of Cromwell for so long as an ally." Has she??? At the beginning of the book she didn't trust him in the slightest so why is she so taken aback?

"In these times of division and dissent it is so easy to assume that those who share our opinions on matters of faith and religion are somehow bound to be our friends." But she didn't assume!

I like the description of Cromwell being like a bat, it makes a change from comparing him to a pig, which is lazy and boring and unoriginal and uncreative and unfunny.

"Once a single brick is loose, the wall will be brought down quite easily." "this notion, and the twisting, spiralling curlicues of imagined consequence which may issue from it." "the tower of fantasy spirals upwards, out of control."

Henry goes from 'Smeaton won't confess to something that isn't true' to 'I think I've been deceived' back to awareness alarmingly quickly.

"he has endured this kind of assault before, but it was a long time ago, in a blacksmith's yard in Putney, with another man who had absolute power over him". Someone's read Wolf Hall.

Jane Rochford is more malicious here than the evidence suggests.

"She studies Jane's insolent look, and begins to think she might do well to ask George to keep his wife at home in future. If she is allowed to remain at court she will cause trouble somehow. But what ails her? What does she hope to gain from it?"

"he is still a little puzzled by her motivation, because the naïve and trusting might think that her interest lay with the Boleyns since she is married to George, whereas in fact she seems to be determined to do everything in her power to destroy him."

CHRIS. YOU ARE SO CLOSE TO GETTING IT. It's frustrating because Rae is good enough as a fiction writer to spot the obvious holes, but not knowledgeable enough in this history to fix them. Like yes, Anne and George could have sent Jane away if they didn't like her! That suggests they probably DID LIKE HER!

He tries to fix it by having Jane want Anne "disgraced, brought down a peg two, and abandoned by the King...she has done whatever she could think of to help to bring such a conclusion about" that Jane is "nothing more than Anne's lady in waiting." But it doesn't make sense! If Anne were abandoned by the king, this proud and covetous Jane would see her own position decline. She isn't just Anne's lady in waiting- she's her sister in law! She has a fancy bed with Rochford knots and a fancy counterpane! Under Anne's replacement she would just be...another lady in waiting! Also we have Jane's signature and Jane "scratching out her mark" implies she can't write, which is inaccurate.

Smeaton saying "I have risen by my own talents and found favour" is a nice subtle parallel to Cromwell's own rise, which makes Smeaton's fall all the more tragic, as a foil to Cromwell.

Cromwell using the classic 'sign here without seeing the full document because it's hidden by the document above' from I, Claudius.

At Chateau Vert Jane was Constancy IIRC.

"a galliard she knows very well, so beautiful, sad and stately." I think Rae is thinking of a pavane here, a galliard is an upbeat dance.

"although she must suffer patiently the king's delight in revels and pageants, Katherine of Aragon does not care much for this kind of lewd and brazen display, and thinks privately that dancing is a business best left to whores and drunkards." I think this is an unfair portrayal of Katherine. She was pious, but she wasn't a killjoy.

The juxtaposition between Anne falling down into despair next to Henry's mood 'rising' is very effective, like he's draining her like a vampire. Henry believing his own lies and turning his thoughts to "pleasure and pastime with good company". I saw what you did there, Chris.

There are some excellent moments of extreme black comedy in this. "They must believe that there was a conspiracy against myself, not one that has been crudely fashioned against the Queen.' Cromwell winces. Crudely fashioned?"

"It is simple enough, she is to be burned alive, according to the law. This provokes a murmuring from the Lords, and Norfolk looks puzzled until he remembers to add that the king in his great mercy is expected to commute this to beheading."

[anam-mana]

hello I love that your ts mc is named hero! are there any fun facts abt her that you’d care to share? how does she feel abt the other characters after the prologue?

Hero (she/they) is a character who is very quickly becoming close to my heart.

She is first a foremost, a mystic. With the Unnamed backstory, I have based her very heavily on the High Priestess Arcana, both to fit into the Hero and Leander theme of her name, but also to fit in with the second part of the fool’s journey right alongside Leander with the Magician.

She represents a sort of mystic duality (the masculine and feminine, dark and light, knowledge and secrets) and an acceptance of duality in general. Which I think makes her a very good pair for Leander as the man oozes duality and very human contradictions.

Aside from her traits which are associated with the major Arcana I based her around I think she grew up very sheltered among the cult that used her as an oracle. She has very little experience with people and thus bases her decisions and feelings more on her instincts, and also, more dangerously, based on how they compare to the stories she’s read her whole life as escapism.

I feel, though she has a good instinct for the best qualities of people, she also is about to get a very rude awakening that not all people can be sorted so neatly into the archetypes from her romantic poems.

As for her opinion of folks:

I think she is extremely attracted to Leander (kinda obv) and recognizes his good qualities, but I think she also sees in him a big old gaping need for attention and adoration, and a burning desire to feel “chosen.” She also may be a lil swept up in him by how similar he is to a romantic hero from her stories. Enamoured would be the best word to describe her current feelings on him.

I think she highly respects Kuras, his ability, and senses something deeper and more profound about him than he lets on, although she can’t place quite what it is. Over all, she would like very much to be closer to him, and understand him, but simultaneously she respects his boundaries and his secrets as he respects hers.

Vere scares her, as she has never come across a person so violent and forward as him. But even still, his chains make her want to cry, and she can see in him an honesty and sincerity that’s extremely rare in her view. If she could free him or soothe his pain she would, though she fears it may cost her a hand for getting close even to help.

Ais disturbs her in some ways, and intrigues her in others. She recognizes in him a connection to something greater, and feels that is a kindred trait of theirs. She appreciates how honest he is about the Seaspring, and is equal parts afraid and in awe of its power. After all, she was told once she could accomplish what the Seaspring has made reality. Perhaps, then, it was fate that they meet. She can tell Ais has wisdom earned through experience, and she deeply respects that about him and finds that, perhaps, aspirational as well. She would like very much to be close to him as well.

Mhin is interesting to her, and she can tell there is something inhuman about them. Regardless of that, though, I think she wants very badly to help Mhin, as she feels they are searching for something and that she would be a very capable guide if only they would open up and allow her to see them. Unfortunately, it seems Mhin is disinclined to do that.

[thiscoldheart]

Please LET’S talk about la chimera. idk if you’re Italian but ooh my god did it hit close to home. The misogyny of the robbers vs the gentle feminist haven led by someone who knows & feels deeply how precious local art is. that art being sold off to foreigners who seem to appreciate its value but can only predate upon it. locals who struggle to get by and choose to sell off their heritage to the best bidder. the chtonic references that then become “real” or as real as they can be at the end.

hey omg just seeing this now!! these are all amazing observations and comparisons! no i'm not Italian, so there's a good chance some cultural references went completely over my head but I really enjoyed this movie all the same!

i love that your observations boil down to duality. another observation of duality that I had is the deliberate inclusion of an Englishman in this story who never truly belongs in whatever world he is occupying except for when he is with his lover. he doesn't truly fit in with Italians even though he speaks the language quite often. he doesn't really fit in with the tombaroli because he sees the grave goods as art, not just as something of monetary value. he doesn't fit in with the feminist haven either since he feels that he is beyond saving and has already decided his home isn't on this planet but rather, with his lover. spartacus' comments about how he isn't like the others also emphasizes this theme of duality so well. ugh this movieeeeeee. apologies for the ramble but this movie still has such a grip on me all these weeks later lol. i have no idea if any of that made sense but i would love to keep talking!