#I feel like i am 15 again derogatory | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-chihayafuru-landslide · 2 years ago

Text

In Defense of the Ending of Chihayafuru [PART 1]

Well I never thought I would be writing something like this because mainly I wanted to use my blog to discuss Taichihaya because that’s all my biased ass is interested in is the romance. I’m a consistent bitch through and through, unlike some of y’all. But I feel this topic is a bit more of a pressing matter since currently people over on twitter have been fist fighting in PQRT over the ending (still lol). Which, you know my ass couldn’t stay out of because I love pissing myself off and being boo boo the fool.

Posting this again just as a petty reminder since I am sore winner.

One of the best tweets in recent memory was someone calling Taichihaya a tacked on wattpadd romance and was Suetsugu selling out to thirsty fans. I truly think it’s lovely people think that Suetsugu had so little integrity and would would spend 15 years on a manga and throw it down the drain in the final chapter! Nah, if that was the case and she genuinely wanted to placate everyone, I think she would have picked the friendship route. (Especially since Arata won the most recent online [ rigged ] popularity poll lmao I’m sure she was nervous as hell when that happened) If there was no romance conclusion then both Taichihayas and Chiharatas alike would be shrugging our shoulders and fighting in the parking lot behind a Burger King till the end times. Honestly, I’m so glad we don’t live in that timeline because I don’t think I could handle being a Taichihaya solider against these absolute units. Their stubborn persistence in their own biased reading of Chihayafuru is truly remarkable despite the thousands of arguments that have been thrown at them. I wish I was so uncritical in my life because my thoughts are constantly oscillating when presented with new information to try and get to the closest version of the “truth”. Which requires you to admit when you are wrong and not be blinded by your own hubris. Heh (I’m realizing now why people don’t like me considering I say shit like this completely straight)

Before we address some of the writing criticisms that have been thrown at the ending, let’s get this obligation out of the way: the ending is not perfect. No singular piece of media is and can ever be. But for what Suetsugu managed to accomplish and (IMO) hitting every necessary story beat in 80 pages is actually very impressive. I’ll be honest, I was at times shaking my head wondering how she could do it.

Suetsugu was writing this manga for 15 years and was trying to get to the ending as quickly as she could (originally she wanted it to end it in 49 volumes but got convinced by her editor to stretch it to 50 volumes which thank god). So using the words of someone else (who every so often says something that I regrettably agree with), I think we can all afford to give this mangaka a bit of grace.

At the same time no matter what the conditions were for the ending’s creation, the ending still is what it is and that doesn’t make it above criticism. But some of the criticisms I’ve had the pleasure to read (derogatory) have made me want to rip out my hair. I can’t even be nice, y’all are just being fuckin purposely obtuse, hypocritical, or partaking in bad faith cinema sins level criticism.

I can understand being frustrated as hell that things didn’t resolve the way you thought they would (trust me I’d still be crying to this day if Taichihaya wasn’t canon) but the actual hoops people have tried to jump through, like criticizing things that UP UNTIL THE LAST CHAPTER DID NOT BOTHER THEM IN THE SLIGHTEST, so they can point to anything other than what they are really mad about: that the ship they wanted to see didn’t end up happening and that Arata and Chihaya’s relationship not being romantical in the end has apparently no merit unless Chihaya told him EXPLICITLY at the end what a special little boy he is. I’d have more respect for some of you if you just came out and said it outright instead of being like every other theme and arc was also ruined by Chihaya’s confession lmao. I guess that’s just Chihaya’s power as a protagonist to ruin her own story by confessing. SHE IS A QUEEN IN EVERY SENSE. But of course people don’t want to say they were upset about the shipping b/c they spent how long (years?) tearing down those dastardly Taichihayas for only caring about that! Oh how the turntables.

Now I’m a chaotic individual and this entire thing is written purely in spite (I’m reading Skip Beat so I’m living my Kyoko fantasy) but before we get into the meat of my arguments; I’m going to break down the criticisms I’ve read about the ending into three categories:

1. Unresolved Plot Points

2. Unsatisfying conclusions to plot points

3. Things we should have seen but didn’t

I’m going to be discussing all three types of criticisms loose and free because thankfully I am not in academia anymore. So it’s going down, I’m yelling timberrrr. I just want to mention, with added emphasis, when I am discussing the criticisms filed under the third point- “things we should have seen but didn’t”, I want to acknowledge that it is ok for people to be sad about not seeing the thing they wanted to see. Even if thing wasn’t that important, and didn’t actually ruin the story.

I too had many things I wanted to see that Suetsugu did not feel necessary to include. Like yeah sure, I got my ship and even my crack ship (Arata x Sumire shippers manifesting their ship out of thin air like they were rubbing a lamp) yet I am greedy as hell. For all of our suffering as Taichihaya shippers (me for like 6 months some people for a literal decade) with Taichi and Chihaya being purposely kept apart in the story for literal years; at the end when they finally are a couple I wanted to see Taichihaya dating fluff and also their wedding (the way I felt so emboldened by reading the spin off for Eden No Hana that I truly believed it could happen). I should mention real quick that I sorta think ending a story with characters getting married is at this point a bit outdated and also kind of idk “tacky” yet the fervour I wanted to see a Taichihaya wedding made the feminism crawl back inside me and die. My life is filled with contradictions.

However, with things we want to see, to judge whether or it was necessary and or good to be included in the story we have to ask ourselves these questions: what does it add to the story? Is it necessary? What themes does it build? Is it redundant? Is it fun? Does it help resolve plot elements? Does it build characters? Etc etc etc

I actually do think some Taichihaya dating fluff would have been a nice way to wrap up the ending on a nice positive outlook for Chihaya and Taichi’s future together and provide a bit of breathing room after all the trauma and depression that’s happened (WE WERE SUFFERING FOR 100 CHAPTERS AND ALMOST 10 YEARS). I WASN’T EVEN ASKING FOR ANYTHING THAT DEEP IT COULD BE TAICHI AND CHIHAYA WALKING SIDE BY SIDE FOR A SINGLE PANEL HOLDING HANDS.

This could have been us and I would have been satisfied BUT NOooooo

IT would have been fkin nice, yet it wasn’t completely necessary. We kind of /got this/ with the slight time skip the end. You just have to squint your eyes and read it through subtext (something apparently Taichihayas are good at lmao).

With the final pages of the story we got: Taichi and Chihaya confirmed to be dating, them wearing tasukis together in the final spread (y’know as they did before as a team lmao), and Chihaya’s random hair change suggesting maybe they went on a date beforehand… Yeah these things suggest that the two of them are doing well despite living in different cities, attending different universities, and not even being able to see each other since they started dating (fk me up). Does it hurt me that’s all we got in the ending? You know it does. Do I completely agree with Yuki Suetsugu’s writing choice? No. I WANT A MORSEL OF FLUFF OF SOMETHING I AM A STARVING VICTORIAN CHILD AND I NEED A SINGLE CRUMB. The way we only got a single panel in the spin off chapter and it Taichi and Chihaya in the same tournament just a different angle… IT IS A CRIME BUT don’t worry about me, I’m completely fine yep CoOl as a cUcumber. We as a fandom expect nothing so we bounce off the walls when we are served air.

Ok what was the point of this rant? Oh, that we all want to see things for fun even when they don’t serve a purpose because it makes us happy and isn’t the point of stories… enjoyment? However, I’m going to be a dick and shit on your dreams because I didn’t get everything I wanted, why should you lmao.

But again, I do understand the lamenting at least.

Alright now I’m done the intro (if you can call all of that nonsense an intro) let’s discuss the actual criticisms. Again this is in no particular order and I won’t be addressing every single criticism I’ve ever read (like not even gonna touch the 2chan comments about Chihaya being a sl*t because I don’t feel like giving misogynists the time of day lmao) just the ones I feel like.

[ 1 ] Taichi’s Arc Was Ruined by Chihaya’s Confession

You know this would be the first thing I would address because I am the number one most die hard annoying Taichi fan (or at least I hope people think of me as so). I actually have an unfinished twitter thread on why Taichi’s arc wasn’t ruined, which will someday see the light of day, so for now I won’t go in as much detail (LMAO unfortunately this isn’t at all concise, the things I do for this fictional man).

Taichi’s character was apparently supposed to be the personification of a loser and Arata a winner. Y’know because Arata was bullied in his childhood and in a stylized reality that means you get everything you have ever wanted and the person who bullied you can never be redeemed instead has to be punished by the universe forever for the crimes of his youth. It’s just and completely fair, yes, if you make one mistake when you are 10 it will define you for the rest of your life.

Ok jokes aside, I think the majority of the fandom /kind of/ understood the vague outline of Taichi’s arc: it was about taking a risk and not being a coward. It actually takes a kind of vulnerability to actually put effort into something: whether that be a relationship or a sport because all of your hard work could literally amount to nothing. Losing only hurts if you care about winning. But winning only feels like a win when it is earned (maybe that’s why nobody cared that Arata got Meijin because his ass was at times too OP lmao). This applies both Karuta (Taichi’s initial belief that there was no point in taking Karuta seriously because he could never beat Arata) and in love (he dated some random girl he didn’t care about b/c it was easy).

So in that sense, I somewhat agree with Taichi’s arc was about appreciating the journey “to love that desperation” to keep trying and not take the easy way out. That getting rejected after you confess your feelings to the girl you’ve been in love since childhood and losing by a huge margin of 18 cards fkin sucks and will hurt so much; but that doesn’t make any of the time spent on it worthless. Not only that, but you can and should still keep trying. (In Karuta I mean. If you get rejected please don’t be like Arata and say lmao I’ll try again because I’m moving to your city to be closer to you)

Even though Taichi had a tenuous love/hate relationship with Karuta, At the end of the day, it still gave Taichi everything that is dear to him: his friends, teachers, and the dream to bet his whole youth. Hence why I will fight to say I that I do like the hug with Arata b/c Taichi finally got acknowledged by his rival (or his core). It just stings after Arata smoked Taichi’s ass with an 18 card victory lmao. Like on the one hand yippee Arata acknowledged him… on the other Arata giving a hug still reads a bit patronizing sorry idc. I love and hate the hug. I look at the panel of them hugging and I’m like aww my babies :) then I read the whole arc and I’m liek TAKE YOUR FKIN HUG ARATA AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. Sorry I got off topic there. (Unfortunately this is neither the first or last time that will happen).

The ending wraps up Taichi’s arc perfectly because he spent the whole manga not really having a firm Karuta “dream” (goal?) of his own (he kind of does but it’s too complex to get into right now so for simplicity’s sake we’ll say this). He watched his friends make a pact to become Meijin and Queen and though he basically facilitated this moment, he was not included. The “outsider”, the one left behind while Chihaya and Arata had bond through their Karuta dream.

No Taichi did not need to be symbolically made the reader at the end of the story- this was the perfect use of the childhood imagery to show how Taichi felt like the worthless one in their friend group.

Taichi had every reason to quit Karuta after he got his single win against Arata (and also because Chihaya had “rejected” him). Instead, seeing his friends accomplish their dreams inspired him to keep trying. (Hence his practice swings in the hallway). Then at the end of it all he challenged Arata that he would come back next year and take the Meijin title, throwing himself back into Karuta after his most devastating 18 card loss. The difference now from before lies in Taichi’s motivations. Before he wanted to win for other people: he wanted Suou to visit his family and he wanted to see Chihaya’s win from the closest spot. Which is not necessarily a bad reason to do things, but a central theme of Chihayafuru from the first chapter is making a dream for YOURSELF. So when he finally challenges Arata at the end it’s the perfect ending to his arc because he’s doing it for nobody else other than himself. He’s already lost the chance to win Chihaya’s love through Karuta and Suou has visited with his family that he’s been avoiding for all these years.

Alright so now that we’ve covered his Karuta arc, so what about the romance arc? Obviously, Taichi was a loser there too because he got rejected after confessing his feelings to Chihaya (until Chihaya pulled an uno reverse at the end).

Immediately after getting rejected, Taichi distanced himself from Chihaya and also the club completely cutting himself off from all of them (mostly). But this action was never narratively treated as Taichi trying to punish Chihaya. SO MANY PEOPLE interpreted this action as emotional manipulation since OOO he hurt her feelings. Yeah, her feelings were hurt and so were his? If he was actually manipulating her, then he’d have to have some underlying goal he was trying to accomplish? Taichi was basically like me very sad and right now I don’t want to be around Chihaya anymore or my friends or the sport I loathe (but love) because I’m not a superhuman robot and I do have feelings and those feelings right now are suffocating me fdkcnkjac. HE NEVER ONCE ACTED LIKE THIS WAS SOME MASTER SCHEME TO GET HER TO LOVE HIM OR TEACH HER A LESSON AS REVENGE FOR HURTING HIM. He just needed space because he wanted to figure out who he was and also at this point his perfect grades were suffering. Chihaya’s rejection wasn’t the only thing that made him quit the club anyways- he was already going through a downwards spiral LONG BEFORE THIS starting with his loss against Chihaya at Yoshino. Chihaya’s rejection was just the final drop in a cup that was already too full. It was going to spill over regardless and Chihaya’s love wouldn’t have saved him.

In fact Taichi never brought up his rejection to her at all. The only scene that we got where Taichi truly acted poorly (and even then it didn’t really affect Chihaya) was when he derived some satisfaction of knowing that Chihaya was hurting because of him. It’s a very real emotion even if it’s an ugly one; which I’m sure we’ve all felt at sometime in our life… But it’s a feeling which he himself feels guilty about having. Because maybe… he doesn’t actually… Want to hurt Chihaya? But because he thinks the worst of himself, the fact he even felt momentarily good that she might be hurting too, makes him not want to ever be apart of Chihaya’s life anymore (he can’t go back). Yes this is all apart of his master scheme where he selfishly thinks that he doesn’t even deserve to be in Chihaya’s life! Taichi the incel or whatever.

Taichi and Chihaya did eventually start mending their relationship slowly and gradually over the course of the last 100 chapters. Taichi came back to watch Chihaya win against Arata, he apologized for ditching the club, they cleaned the clubroom together (things accumulated), and then they played as a team in the Qualifiers and Challengers. Taichi had time to process the rejection but based on the final chapter, and tbh EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER AFTER 205, seeing Chihaya and Arata side by side accomplishing their dreams and looking like an amazing couple (y’know thing he wanted for himself) hurts him even if he is also simultaneously happy for them. Taichi is written like a human being and not a happy go lucky robot that can take every single L in life and be better off for it.

Part of Taichi’s initial motivations for becoming good at Karuta were toxic: he wanted to get good so that Chihaya could notice him and then maybe she would fall in love with him. Since Taichi knew Chihaya was a “Karuta Baka” and seemingly only got flustered when she saw someone with skill (for example her first “crush” was on her married sensei LMAO).

Like was Taichi himself CLEARLY THINKS THAT CHIHAYA NEEDS A KARUTA MAN TO LOVE. Which he’s kinda right about at least initially lol.

So for Taichi actually the most important thing was not to “get over” his love for Chihaya, in fact what Taichi needed to find his own reasons to play Karuta outside of Chihaya’s love. Almost like it might have been linked to a void speech Or sOMething.

In the end, he FINALLY picks himself and his feelings by moving away instead of doing everything in his life for Chihaya’s sake (and lol he was never gonna stay in Tokyo just for Arata be serious). Which to me is not a bad idea, considering how much of his feelings he still carried the distance would help him be able to move on. It would not be good for anyone for him to remain in Tokyo being completely miserable and jaded while your two friends are in the beginning stages of their relationship (cause yeah Taichi the #1 strongest Chiharata believer in the manga). He was stepping away at least partially for their sakes as well.

Nor do I consider his decision to leave Tokyo a “cowardly” move? Taichi is leaving behind his life, his friends, his sensei(s), and his family and moving to someplace completely new. That takes bravery. Arata at least has a support network in Tokyo (outside of Chihaya and Taichi even!) like Hydro, Nishida, and the Shirinami society… who tf does Taichi even know in Kyoto lmao.

Unfortunately Taichi was not completely ok by the end of the manga. Sorry, it didn’t fit into your neat little timeline for when you thought Taichi should be comfortable being the third wheel for his two Karuta baka friends. He has the self esteem of a broken kite. Badum tsssss.

Nor was it like he dropped the news that he was moving away with the intention of hurting Chihaya even more and manipulating her to fall in love with him.

Taichi if he was still in his villain arc: “don’t call me. Don’t come to my house. We’re done.”

In Taichi and Chihaya’s final conversation in the clubroom Taichi doesn’t hide that he’s moving and states he simply needs a change of scenery but assures Chihaya that they will surely see each other again because they will always have Karuta. That is the exact same promise they made to each other as they were kids; a promise of everlasting friendship through their shared passions.

Sure, one could argue, because he wasn’t in Tokyo, they wouldn’t be as close as they before the break up and therefore he “didn’t really give her their friendship back”… BUT TAICHI AND CHIHAYA WOULD NEVER BE AS CLOSE as they were in high school!! In high school they were able to see each other every single day. BUT even if Taichi had stayed in Tokyo, all of them (Arata included) would be going to different universities. They would all be busy with their own studies and would probably only see each other at the Shirinami society (if Taichi and Chihaya only remained friends). So to be honest the distance only really stings if they decided to date (which they did so fk me upppp). Like it’s part of growing up, you don’t get to see your school friends as often anymore. It sucks, but that’s the way life is. But that doesn’t mean your friendship is worthless because you don’t live in the same city anymore? WE HAVE CELLPHONES.

We can debate all we want if Taichi wouldn’t have moved to Kyoto IF Chihaya confessed earlier but ultimately it doesn’t change the fact that in the end he put his feelings first. Which is what he should do!! HE SHOULD NOT ROLL OVER AND GET STEAM ROLLED BY TRYING TO LIVE HIS LIFE SELFLESSLY FOR ARATA AND CHIHAYA FCK YOU.

Off topic rant: but when Arata announced to Taichi that he was moving to Tokyo why did people think that it was something Arata did for Taichi? At that point TAICHI DEADASS THOUGHT TO HIMSELF SCREW YOU ARATA YOU’RE MY ENEMY. Arata did not know how to read the fking room it was lowkey embarrassing for him!! He didn’t ask Taichi if he wanted him there he assumed that they all wanted the trio back together. At this point in time TAICHI DID NOT.

However, the most important reason why it didn’t ruin Taichi’s arc is that Chihaya’s confession is not framed as Taichi’s “reward” for being cool with them being friends. Chihaya’s agency is at the forefront of her confession - it’s absolutely her choice. It’s the culmination of Chihaya’s arc of self discovery and finally being able to express her feelings with the help of her friends and finally knowing what those feelings are. She had been pondering her damn feelings for Taichi for 100 chapters like I’m very sorry that you missed it- but that’s on you

Just because it’s an annoying trope in other media where the rejected boy was the one the protagonist wanted all along does not instantly make it bad when it appears in a story… you have to look at how it’s executed. I know you some of you wanted a “progressive” story where the rejected boy “friend friend” would continue just be your closest friend even after getting rejected. But if that’s what you wanted, we got that with Arata? So like… huh. Why does it NEED to be Taichi? Is the universe who has it out for him or is it you because you hate him.

Chihaya’s confession wasn’t about Taichi’s feelings nor Arata’s but hers and hers alone so stfu about it “ruining Taichi’s arc” bitch ass what? It only ruins his arc if you were grading it under the incorrect assumption that Taichi’s big lesson was that he needed to be a loser in every aspect of life while Arata is a special boy who did nothing wrong ever therefore gets everything <3 IT WAS NEVER IMPLIED THAT SUETSUGU WAS WRITING TAICHI THIS WAY NOR IS THIS THEME THROWN OUT IF TAICHI IS THE ONE WHO GETS LOVED BACK? WHY DOES HE NEEDED TO BE A LOSER IN EVERYTHING?? HE ALREADY LOST IN KARUTA AND MADE PEACE WITH “LOSING” IN LOVE. I think it’s better actually that disappointment in life was split between two characters (Arata and Taichi) because it’s realistic that every character faces some disappointment in their life and has learn to cope?

Which is a perfect Segway to my next point:

[ 2 ] Arata needed to be formally rejected (again but better)

In the hell that is Chihayafuru discourse land where there are clowns on either side of the argument: there are two camps when it comes to Chihaya’s “answer” (or not a reply) to Arata’s confession. There are those who believe that Arata was never rejected that Chihaya instead said “wait until after I am Queen and then I’ll reject you” and there are those who believe Arata had already been soft rejected in ch 173.

It was funny the collective breakdown the other side had when Suetsugu said in a now deleted tweet that Arata had been soft rejected here and he knew it… THIS WAS HIS RESPONSE? SO MUCH FOR THEIR BOUNDARY RESPECTING KING

I was, of course, in the camp that believed that Arata had been soft rejected in this moment because Chihaya said “this is what’s up right right now” and mentioned nothing about having feelings for him. She just wanting to accomplish her dream and be the best in the world at Karuta. Saying “I’m focusing on other things” is actually not an uncommon way to let down people in Japan since it is more polite than saying outright that you’re not interested. Moreover, Chihaya never asks him to wait for a response… You’ll notice he says all of that about “coming closer” to her unprovoked. But I’m not discussing whether or not this was a rejection (this time). For the sake of the argument, let’s say Arata wasn’t rejected here… Then what.

This is apparently what people wanted Chihaya to say to him:

“Arata I realized at chapter 93 that I will always love you and Karuta but I actually lied to myself. You see I wanted to bait the omniscient presence that watches over my life because I like making people look like clowns. But yeah, don’t worry not all is lost I do love you but maybe like a friend though not a lover. Even though your confession was the one I preferred because it was like a marriage proposal. Anyways at least you’re Meijin and I am so utterly grateful for you all you’ve done for me like introducing me to the sport. Thanks so much for being the biggest support of me like when you made a team so I could beat your ass. Anyways learn how to use your phone ok? Love ya but not that way bye!”

Ok sorry LOL moving on. So the camp that thinks Chihaya did not reject Arata in that moment, did everyone think that Chihaya’s answer to his confession was “yes” and that she knew in that moment but she wanted to wait until after she had accomplished her dream to tell him so? GOD IT’S SO HARD TO EVEN ADDRESS CRITICISMS OF THE ENDING WITHOUT HAVING TO BREAK DOWN WHY THESE BELIEFS HAD NO PROPER FOUNDATION TO STAND ON TO BEGIN WITH. Because if Chihaya knew in that moment that she loved Arata back, wouldn’t she have said “this is an answer to your response” or MAYBE she would have said something along what Rion said to Makoto.

LIKE SENSEI DIDN’T PUT THIS IN FOR FUNSIES IT WAS TO TRY AND HELP PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER YOURSELF. “IS IT BETTER NOT TO SAY THIS NOW?”

So anyways, Chihaya did not promise after becoming the best in Japan that she would respond to him with a yes. In fact, she never said she would respond to him at all? So…

With the two added pages off in the Tankobon, it became clear that Chihaya didn’t even have all of her feelings sorted out by the time she became Queen. So we can simply write off Arata needing to be formally rejected directly after he won Meijin because Chihaya did not know yet how she felt. Thank you so much Suetsugu for that.

Which even if she had fully sorted her feelings and decided that she loved Tacihi… I agree with the notion that it would actually be super shitty for Chihaya to ruin probably the best day of Arata’s life with a rejection? Like “congrats on the win buddy, anyways I don’t love you! Ok BYE”

Like why would you think that is a better outcome for him? But I get it, this would be the last moment Chihaya and Arata would see each other before uni because of the simple fact he lived in Fukui so if she was going to say something in person then it would have to be there.

But thankfully Arata gave Chihaya a little more leniency, to you know, let him know how she felt (if it was any different) when he moved to Tokyo. So quite frankly it’s not even like he asked her to respond to him after she became best in the world EITHER.

So then the alternative to telling him in person would be to what… Text Arata the moment Chihaya and Taichi started dating? PLEASE HOW WOULD A TEXT BE BETTER? I don’t know, YOU GUYS ALWAYS SAID Arata was apparently pretty chill waiting too? So it’s not like he was urgently fading away and they were so heartless for not texting him the MOMENT they got together. What is he, the Jesus in their relationship?

I just wanted a reason to put this meme here

So I think honestly the best thing was in fact to tell Arata TOGETHER the next time Taichi and Chihaya saw him in person. Chihaya did not need to pull him aside alone and have a deep conversation and tell him his worth to her as a friend? Their relationship would actually remain the same because the thing Arata did want the most was a future where the three of them (the trio) could be together whereas TAICHI WANTED A FUTURE ALONE WITH CHIHAYA.

Like for example Taichi even though he had more time to process his rejection it’s not like him and Chihaya ever had a heart to heart about what happened either so it’s odd you think Taichi would have not needed one but Arata should have?

I also think Arata probably won’t need as much time to process the rejection because he’s already been established to brush off adversary quickly. Plus let’s give him a little credit he’s been waiting for almost a year for a response for his confession like… The guy should have had time to think perhaps Chihaya’s answer would be no with how long it took to get back to him. Does that make him a bit pathetic? Yeah. And that’s ok because I love a pathetic man.

Taichi’s presence was probably also needed because when you think about it last time Chihaya tried to reject Arata he said “just you wait I’m coming to be closer to you”. SO maybe she thought oh if my boyfriend is here he’ll take it as a clearer no… BUT THEN ARATA STILL MADE THAT JOKE ABOUT WINNING HER AT 28 REGARDLESS. Like Arata my little bi disaster please you’re not helping your own case cdndkncj. But honestly no hate to Arata using comedy to cope. WHY DO YOU THINK I AM SO FUNNY?? I learned at a young age if you make fun of the way people make fun of you that their insults hurt less. Wow I’m dropping my trauma in the essay about the ending of Chihayafuru I’m so classy.

But the biggest thing is CHIHAYA SHOULD NOT HAVE TO REJECT ARATA BEFORE CONFESSING TO THE GUY SHE LIKES. Like you guys are fricking weird placing more importance over Arata’s feelings INSTEAD OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS?? IT’S HER ARC OF SELF DISCOVERY AND I WOULD NOT HAVE EXPECTED HER TO GO BACK AND TALK TO TAICHI BEFORE ACCEPTING ARATA’S CONFESSION EITHER.

It’s funny coming from the people being like “I SHIP THE SHIP WHERE THE GIRL CLEARLY LIKES THE GUY AND YOU LOSERS ARE NOT RESPECTING HER AGENCY CAUSE SHE REJECTED THE OTHER” the way that broke down when the character picked the one you didn’t like or even consider could be still in the running.

So no, the story didn’t need Arata to be re-rejected in a more formal manner in the ways you guys are suggesting. However, I do think some aftermath for Arata’s story was actually necessary as he didn’t feel like he fully “grew up” compared to Taichi and Chihaya. Then my wish was granted because in the spin off chapter we see Arata coping with his heartbreak and moving to a new city without the expectation having his childhood trio back again.

LIKE in the spin off Chihaya, Taichi, and Arata’s relationship is honestly the best it’s ever been? They text each other more frequently (Arata learned how to use his cellphone) and Arata even talks to Chihaya without stumbling over his words and being awkward. It was so refreshing.

Obviously Arata was hurting a bit. After all, it was his first heartbreak and he spent idk 2 years with a crush on Chihaya? Now that he’s in Tokyo he’s feeling… lonely. Which is ironic because when he was in Fukui he felt loneliness because of the distance. Even so, moving to Tokyo was actually good for him because he is making new connections. Now he has a super cute girlfriend named Sumire who finally can appreciate HOW HOT ARATA IS and be the little spoon he has always wanted. The end! <3

I know most people hate the idea of “pair the spares” but Arata and Sumire have the most compatible zodiac signs so it’s not MY fault it’s written in the stars??? But honestly they aren’t “paired” together in the end, just that hey life moves on and Suetsugu is saying there are plenty other opportunities for love (except Suetsugu did confirm to me personally that Arata and Sumire got married so sorry bye).

Unfortunately there is more to say about Arata’s rejection though (which I am breaking up into smaller points).

2.1 - THE TONE OF ARATA’S “REJECTION”

I think one of the biggest problems with Arata’s “rejection” (or simply the confirmation that he didn’t get another shot when he moved to Tokyo) is the tone. I don’t think Suetsugu intentionally meant to make it funny (I can’t say for sure)… However, the abruptness of it IS SO COMEDIC FUNNIEST PART OF THE CHAPTER FR.

Like when I first heard that Arata was rejected by Chihaya and Taichi telling him they were dating, I actually thought this can’t be serious and someone was making a joke. BUT IT WAS REAL. It goes from a beautifully deep line from Chihaya’s confession to Arata saying “WAIT A SECOND YOU TWO ARE DATING??” THE WHIPLASH SDKJNDKJ

Like I’m sorry IT IS SO FUNNYYYYYY the million periods on that one page was for me because I was in disbelief.

I think the problem here is due to the absolute ROCKET SPEED pace of the final chapter. For whatever reason, everything needed to happen in the final chapter with little breathing room. I don’t know if I agree with that writing choice… I think the story could have benefitted from stretching this stuff out over 2-3 chapters.

In my perfect world, there would maybe be a bit of set up and wouldn’t go from profoundly beautiful line that had me wiping my tears to comedy? Maybe have Chihaya and Taichi planning to tell Arata to show that they care about him? (Even though their expressions say that they feel very guilty and awkward about it). So then it feels less like a joke and more like two friends awkwardly trying to explain to their friend that they are dating and break his heart gently.

To be honest who even knows if Taichi and Chihaya walked up with the intention of telling him they were dating (again what is he a parent they need permission from?) Maybe Arata saw something and inquired? Maybe they were caught off guard and were going to tell him after the tournament or something. Again, it’s not clear LMAO. What was important were these two facts: that the story ended with Arata knowing he wouldn’t have a chance with Chihaya and that Chihaya and Taichi did in fact start dating.

So for those who thought Arata’s feelings of love were very serious and profound and deserve to be treated with respect I can understand hell I can even respect why the comedic tone of his “rejection” would upset you. Even I was slightly /expecting/ a private conversation… not whatever this was.

However, again I think people projected that Arata’s feelings for Chihaya were a lot deeper then what they actually were. Perhaps this abrupt reaction is meant to say that his feelings were not as deep as people thought and he is a person who is able to brush it off and be happy for his friends? I guess he has more emotional maturity in that way… But he still has to make his stinky little joke. He’s 18 years old and I forgive him.

It’s his growth!! He looks like he’s about to throw hands with Taichi but instead he sticks with his incel joke!

I do get also why people were led to believe there would be some epic conclusion or at least thoughtful rejection because Arata still confessed to Suou that he was playing alongside the girl he liked. So it’s the result of the love triangle being kept so strictly ambiguous to the bitter end (after 246 you should have known but ok) that really did make some people look like clowns at the end. I admit, it could have easily been me, in your shoes. But I acknowledged my clowndom at every turn, so if it all backfired on me I could have left with a morsel of my pride.

So essentially yeah I think the tone being comedic was /probably/ the wrong choice. (Again what happened wasn’t comedic it was the abruptness which was comedic). However the tone was fine for me though. I liked having a little laugh after all of the trauma this manga put me through. Arata king you’re the funniest little guy fr.

2.2- ARATA’S STINKY JOKE

I don’t hate that Arata made a lighthearted joke and teased Taichi one last time after getting rejected (like the demon of Karuta he is). What I hated is the content of the joke. It felt very “wink wink nudge nudge” to the reader- like haha Taichi and Chihaya are long distance now and their proximity was THE ONLY REASON THEY FELL IN LOVE! (It never was).

You see I am of the belief that Arata blamed things outside of his control (living in Fukui) rather than focusing on the things he could control. Like responding to fking emails or text messages OR GIVING CHIHAYA YOUR NUMBER AND NOT TAICHI, BITCH BOY?? (I’m fine).

Like he is like “I am so lonely because I am not next to my friends” instead of trying to make friends with the people who lived around him too? Like ARATA I really feel for you, because you just like me fr.

So yeah, Arata’s joke did not land for me. It could go, and I would be happier. Also it makes Arata look like he didn’t have his moment of growing up even though his he was managing his negative emotions very well while his heart was being stomped on (those who know, know).

Let me reiterate, I don’t hate the fact that he made a joke, just that particular joke I dislike. My joke of choice: “haha you guys only announced it now because you want the Meijin to fumble in the tournament, nice try I’ll smoke your asses”

2.3 WHAT ABOUT CHIHAYA’S GROWTH?

This is the only argument I can /somewhat/ get behind. That if Chihaya had been able to reject Arata in a more formal manner then it would show how much she has grown. Yes, because one of Chihaya’s central themes is that she doesn’t know how to express herself at least in words and has a difficulty forming connections with people.

That’s why she clings to Karuta because it makes it easier for her to connect. However, I’m not too too mad that Chihaya still continues to have difficulty expressing herself. She told Taichi she loved him with a simple “I love you” and she rejects Arata with “I am dating Taichi”. Though simple, in both cases they clearly express Chihaya’s feelings.

That brings us to the whole thing of people being like “BUT SHE WROTE ARATA POEMS!!!” Like it’s some kind of GOTCHA that Chihaya always loved Arata and the author “forgot” INSTEAD OF IT BEING PURPOSEFUL? The point was her poetry was VERY BAD and that she still even there couldn’t express how she was feeling very well. SHE COULDN’T WRITE A POEM.

So while Chihaya has grown it is not so on the nose that by the time she leaves high school she is a perfectly articulated person with an elegance to with her words… Sometimes that is a struggle you work on for your entire life. The point is she has grown from the start, instead of forgetting Arata’s confession for like what was it 6 months? She makes sure to tell him the minute she sees him in person. Eyyyoo. Also she continued to reflect on her feelings and thought about love not just being the person you want to play in Karuta but something more profound.

I also think the bond that Chihaya and Arata shared was about as clear as the bond Taichi and Chihaya shared. Chihaya never explicitly discussed how important Taichi was to her to him EVEN IN HER CONFESSION… so why should she have to tell Arata that he’s important???

Then there was this idea that Chihaya needed to “earn” back Arata’s friendship after rejecting him (by telling him of his importance). DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN HEAR YOURSELF?? You said Taichi shouldn’t have quit the club, he should have suffered through it and not received a single thing from Chihaya but yeah Chihaya needed to EARN Arata’s friendship. BE SERIOUS LISTEN TO THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND THEN REFLECT ON YOUR OWN SHORTCOMINGS!! I CAN’T DO IT FOR YOU NO MORE.

Like there is just so many double standards for the way people wanted Arata to be treated vs. how they were cool with the way that evil villain Taichi was treated.

TL;DR

Arata did not need a private conversation with Chihaya where she reassured him of his worth as her friend or their platonic love. It parallels the simple way Chihaya communicated her feelings with Taichi. Arata did however need to be given time to “grow up” but it did actually happen in the bonus chapter. We see how the three of them have mended their friendship despite going down different paths- they are united though Karuta. I do think there is some merit to the idea that Arata’s rejection would benefit from a few more pages of set up so the tone wouldn’t be so comedic.

Overall there are some flaws in how Arata’s rejection was executed but nothing that breaks the story. Unless you were very invested in the seriousness of Arata’s feelings of love. You guys said you can’t find your soulmate at 18 you know that applies for Chiharata too right??

I’m crying because I’ve only really broken down two points of criticism and yet I’ve been talking shit for so long. SO unfortunately there will be a part 2 to this discussion that I will write /someday/ because I have only just scratched the surface. Just it probably won’t happen very soon because I AM TIRED GRANDPA.

But if you do want to see it like you’re gonna have to respond to this wall of text otherwise I won’t do it this took me so fking long LMAO.

SPECIAL THANKS TO @/AIMEEEFACE ON TWITTER FOR BOUNCING IDEAS AND I MAY HAVE INCORPORATED SOME OF HER THOUGHTS HERE ON MANY OCCASIONS

Thanks Charles Outty

#chihayafuru #Chihayafuru manga #chihayafuru spoilers #chihaya ayase #taichihaya #chihayafuru thoughts #taichi mashima #Chihayafuru ending #Chihayafuru ch 247 #manga #arata wataya

127 notes · View notes

femmehepbvrn · 1 year ago

Text

Tagged like a month ago by @gilliandersons for 15 questions 15 mutuals game

1. Were you named after anyone?

No lol and I'm annoyed by that.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Literally 5 minutes ago in the shower

3. Do you have kids?

No but I want them in the future

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I feel like I don't use it as much as I used to. Idk why. I think i found a lot of ppl using it maliciously especially with covid pressure and that annoyed me

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their vibe. Which seems dumb as hell but if someone isn't on a neutral to nice ish sliding scale for me then there's some nugget in there i don't like and I won't warm up to them.

6. What's your eye colour?

Blue (derogatory)

7. Scary movies or happy endings

Happy endings

8. Any special talents?

I don't know? I'm still pretty good at remembering lyrics on first pass of a song. I'm also really really good at navigation, like if i haven't been to a place in years I'll still remember which routes to take without a map

9. Where were you born?

Canada

10. What are your hobbies?

I embroider, I play video games, I walk a lot, I'm trying to read 100 books this year

11. Have any pets?

No but I want to get one in November

12. What sports do you/have you played?

I played soccer, I used to figure skate. I want to sign up for soccer at the rec center again

13. How tall are you?

4'11"

14. Favourite subject in school?

History and visual arts

15. Dream job?

travel blogger. I would kill to be able to travel for a living and get paid to do so. Nice camera, following the wildest routes or like, here are the worst tourist attractions per state, lets hit up every catholic church in rome, heres a map of every footpath that cuts through this one provincial park like fuck.

But if we're being somewhat realistic and also not a hack, I'd want to be a professor.

tagging @lets-go-to-lauderdale @sarcasmisalifechoice @myrnaloysnose @oxfordsonnets @billiehollidaze @yeeuurhnghghh and anyone else who wants to do it i am so awkward at tagging other ppl

#tag game

5 notes · View notes

quietwingsinthesky · 2 years ago

Note

Rate your blorbos on how good they are at sex and why

I'm assuming, anon, that in coming to a spn blog, you will not be insulted if the majority of these are spn blorbos. I'll go from best to worst. Also, can't tell if you mean "objectively good at sex" or like "good at sex in my opinion." I'm gonna assume the latter because it's funnier.

Gomez & Morticia Addams - 20/10 - They would both score very high separately, but you cannot separate them. That's illegal. Canonically they are hot and they are fucking. Probably use knives in interesting ways, and that's on vanilla days.

Nick spn - 15/10 - I feel like Nick should not be up this high?? i'm sorry, i'm not immune to sad pathetic wife man. Again, canonically? he fucks. Pros: i could definitely top this man and he would be very into it. Cons: is in love with the devil? I mean, that's not so much a con to me but ymmv.

Kratos (God of War) - 13/10 - Oh! My newest blorbo! Look at him! He's huge! He's got big muscles! He is capable of both cutting someone's head off with a ax and also great gentleness! I REPEAT: CANONICALLY FUCKS! FUCKS SO WELL HE LANDED A HOT GIANT LADY!!!

Agnes Montague - 12/10 - Okay. Here me out. In the thirty seconds before all the flesh melted off your bones, Agnes Montague would blow your mind. And then, yes, literally blow your mind. But it would be so, so, so worth it. To me.

Raphael - 10/10 - I should be clear that I'm not rating Raphael so much on actual skill as on like. Vibes. Did you see that lightning? The drama? Imagine that, but during sex. Would you end up with some weird scars? Maybe. But the experience would be worth it.

Gabriel - 9/10 - Objectively probably pretty good at sex. He's been around a long time. However, it would also be extremely weird. This man thinks lava lamps set the scene. Sex is half a performance and half an experiment. And you know what? I love that. I want in. I wanna see what weird shit he'd get up to trying to be sexy.

Sam Winchester - 9/10 - Ruby/Sam sex scenes awoke something in me and I haven't been the same since. 'Nuff said.

Will Graham - 7/10 - Definitely cries during sex. This is not a con to me. He is weird and feral, and I dig that in a man. Probably gives good head.

Cersei Lannister - 5/10 - She is blonde and scary. Also, has a lot of experience. Canonically fucks? Taking points off for most of that experience being with her other family members, but I Am Not Immune To A Hot Mess On A Throne.

Lucifer - 4/10 - Canonically fucks (derogatory.) You can't tell me that sex with him would not be awkward as all hell. Best case scenario is that he's a bossy pillow princess. Worst case scenario is that you get exploded into very unsexy meat chunks. However... that tongue tho....

Blue Oak - 3/10 - Let's just say, I don't think their sex lives is what's holding the Blue/Red Alola marriage together.

Michael spn - 2/10 - Has the same problems as Lucifer except he's just regular bossy. Will present you with a spreadsheet describing how well you performed afterwards.

GLaDOS - 1/10 - No. No. Absolutely not. Well, maybe- NO.

Jonathan Sims - 0/10 - Canonically does not fuck. Good for him. Probably a terrible cuddler, too.

Michael Afton - -100/10 - That's a corpse, sir.

#there's probably more #and i did Try to limit the amount of spn characters #lmao i could probably make on for spn blorbos alone #but i thought it best to end it there #ask #thank you? i think?

12 notes · View notes

divine-domme · 2 months ago

Note

40. What are you favourite pet names to be called during sex?

I am gonna say, for the sake of not being boring, titles - especially common ones like "Mistress" or "Mommy" - aren't gonna count as "pet names" here. Or else the list would be too long and pretty boring. But there's a few worth mentioning here.

"Angel" is probably the sweetest and most common one, but also the one that I don't want to hear from most people. I've got a solid 15 years of baggage across multiple axes wrapped around that pet name, and the only people I want to hear call me that are the like 1.5 people I have told it all to who haven't (however accidentally) made me feel Unpleasant in some way after sharing. (It is 1.5 because, of the two who "passed" the check, I think only one of them is likely to remember doing so and recognize the significance.)

The other big one is "My [just about anything that isn't derogatory]". Relatedly to the last ask, I like knowing that when you think of me, it is as a part of you. It also doesn't have to necessarily be affectionate or kind to me, it just can't be derogatory. I used to have a brat who genuinely meant the words when it called me things along the lines of, "My Most-Hated Enemy" - always its very specifically. And if I don't get a dynamic like that again sometime, I think the lack of it will stay with me the literal rest of my life. (If by some chance you read this, you know who you are, fuck you coward unblock me, stop being such a prissy weak bitch. You know that if you didn't want me still you would just tell me to fuck off, you are hiding because you know you fucking need me.)

And now I'm all worked up, so I guess the actual answer is, specifically, "My Most-Hated Enemy". Huh. Uh...

Send me a number and I will answer your kinky questions?

#answered asks #Anonymous #answered memes

1 note · View note

angelbluediary · 5 months ago

Text

Crazy how Gen X is almost as bad as boomers when it comes to thinking they know everything there is to know about the world, patting themselves on the backs for any amount of “progressive” traits they have (my family championing gay rights) and then holding conservative-leaning views on just about everything else and shutting down young people from sharing their opinions.

Maybe it’s just because millennials aren’t old yet or maybe it’s because they (we?) ushered in the social media age, but I feel FOR THE MOST PART like there’s an understanding of “we need to have discourse to understand each other’s side better” and “just because that wasn’t my lived experience doesn’t mean that wasn’t yours.” Or maybe I’m wrong, who knows. What I do know is that I can’t bring up any topic about how women are treated in society to my mother when that’s something we should be able to bond over. Doesn’t matter if it’s horrifying healthcare practices, doesn’t matter if our rights are being taken away in real time and I now have less bodily autonomy than she ever did growing up—the facts to her are set according to what she lived through growing up. She doesn’t care to hear anymore. Why should I be surprised when we have to join hands and say a prayer before every meal because SHE is the only believer here and the rest of us not only don’t believe but take issue with the religion? She can’t just say her own prayer oh no, we ALL must be roped into what is correct in her reality.

So if I say anything about anything, I’m a killjoy. I’m a feminist (derogatory). I don’t even have to say anything, don’t even have to react in the slightest way, to be picked on if there’s a joke to be made about crazy feminists. Just because I am halfway tuned into the world around me and don’t think everything is fine and dandy.

All this over PERIOD PANTIES. I just wanted a quick conversation about the new findings of 16 toxic metals found in tampons because hello that’s something that super affects us both and every other person in the world with a bleeding uterus!!! And what does she say? She presses me on what the metals do exactly (and like girl, you’re the one who works in healthcare why are you asking me???) and then immediately “oh well I’M not infertile, I don’t have cancer, so.” So? Okay???? If it didn’t happen to YOU I guess this was all a big fuss about nothing, thank god we solved that!

I just. There’s no winning as the person that I am. I think my parents would like being around me a lot more if I was a guy. I know it’s so, so, SO different it can hardly count as comparison but I can’t HELP but to compare the way they embrace M’s identity versus the way they treat me when I’m vulnerable about who I am and what I’m passionate about. Again: I realize these are not the same things. It’s basically the “gay son thot daughter?” meme but I know exactly what my parents’ choice would be. I had to use my dad’s Amazon account for something recently and before I logged out I saw maybe 15 different trans ally shirts/flags in his cart and browsing history.

I feel like an ugly person for wanting to draw a comparison. OBVIOUSLY I’m so glad it’s a no-brainer in our family to accept that (even though they never everrr call B by the they/them pronouns they said they were most comfortable with lmao!) and it’s not like that’s a part of M that could or should be repressed. And he IS brave and amazing for coming out and openly transitioning and being the incredible guy he is.

I just can’t help but feel the lack of total acceptance when it comes to who I am, my personality, my inner truth. And honestly I’m not sure what I’m even expecting. I’m a kinky girl. I feel most at home in a dungeon with other freaks. It’s not anywhere close to the same thing as being trans in a small-minded town god do I understand that, but it is such an integral part of who I am nevertheless. It drives so much of how I relate to other people, my ability to form healthy intimate relationships, the way I’m treated and talked to by my partners. I’ve been made to feel ashamed all my life by the people who are supposed to accept all sides of me. I’ve been taken advantage of more than once by people I trusted and I know at least one of those situations was directly fueled by the image they had of me once I opened up to them about my kinks. I’ve been kink shamed and made to feel weird by someone who only ever cared about their own pleasure. I see all the time, everywhere, that there is so little place in the world for someone like me—that I’m fucked up and need professional help for the things I like and the way I naturally express myself. That there is something deeply and fundamentally WRONG with me.

I took this deep, deep part of myself I can never remove, and I have nurtured it. It has always brought me joy despite everything I’ve ever heard or been told. I love my wickedness. I love my perversions. I love finally finding that elusive connection between my mind, my body, and my soul, which I can only ever find HERE. And I have carved out space for myself to be who I am, to live happily, even supporting myself on it for a time against all the odds. I fought for this right.

So I just want to know my parents are proud of me for who I am. They don’t have to wear it on their shirts. They don’t have to make a Facebook status saying “we stand with sluts! We love our daughter!” I just need something more than cool approval, the “do what you want it’s your life” after the crying and the pushback and the disappointment and the cold shoulders. I don’t need approval. I’m an adult, I give myself permission, so that’s not what I want.

I just want to feel loved.

#well this certainly went in a direction #mommy issues #also daddy issues here too #July 2024 #family #off my chest

0 notes

shinelikethunder · 2 years ago

Note

You are awakening thoughts and feelings I thought were 5 years dead and buried with your SPN Posting and I just CANNOT with that fact

*pinches bridge of nose and exhales slowly*

I am…going to go read some fanfic, to cope, I think.

(But for real, I’m super fascinated with your posts and am really enjoying them. SPN was my first big tv fandom as a teen and I came in a little late around season 6—so I only flirted with Wincest in favor of Destiel and then, eventually, got disillusioned with and fell away from the show.

In hindsight, you’re reminding me how deliciously fucked up canon was and just how much raw material it gave fandom to work with—and the original reasons I was drawn to it in the first place.

You’re actually actively kind of helping me work through my bitterness of being alienated from my OG fandom and helping me have fun again? In a time where there’s not a lot of fun to be had? So I really, sincerely, appreciate that! Thank you!)

aww, thanks! i think wandering in years after the fact with rock-bottom expectations, and the entire show available for binge-watching, has made this a VERY different experience than it was for anyone who watched in realtime. like yeah in all the usual ways where recurring themes and arc plots hit different when you're shotgunning entire seasons in less than a week... but also, i can only imagine what it's like to watch SPN when you're, like, psychologically capable of experiencing disappointment with it.

i mean, exasperation sure, judginess about wasted potential absolutely, but i went in a hater and emerged with the world's most grudging case of brainrot and had ample forewarning the entire time that It Only Gets Worse From Here. i'm blogging in BLISSFUL ignorance of what it was like for y'all to get strung along. just sitting here on an already-full toxic landfill, merrily picking out the nasty trash (affectionate, horny) from the nasty trash (derogatory) and tossing it in a bag to take home with me. if witnessing that provides anything of value to the people who took actual non-hyperbolic psychic damage from this 15-year hate crime and all the wank it generated, then i am ALL TOO HAPPY to share, lol. because yeah, there is indeed a whole lotta deliciously fucked-up shit in there, and i feel like i get to dig around in it without paying NEARLY the same mental price as the people who were following it as it aired.

#supernatural #king0fcrows #shine watches spn

23 notes · View notes

thefanficmonster · 4 years ago

Text

Corpse’s Girl

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Bullying, Swearing, Derogatory Terms

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Summary: Y/N’s life as a regular college student is forever stripped away from her when her relationship with the famous YouTuber Corpse Husband is accidentally revealed during an online class of hers. How will she cope with the sudden spotlight and the unwanted attention, some of which crosses into bullying?

Requested by my amazing Tumblr friend @itsminniekat 🥰 She’s been reading and liking my works since day one and I honestly couldn’t be more grateful. If you’re reading this, all I can say is thank you, darling. Thank you so much for sticking by my blog even when I posted some crappy fics. I’ll make sure this ain’t one of them. Love you with all my heart. ❤❤❤

P.S. - I named the mean character with my name so I hope no one who reads this has the same name. Wouldn’t want any of you feeling like the villain 😘

Who knew online class would be even more boring than being physically present for a lecture? Seriously, I find myself doing the weirdest of crap to entertain myself - like trying to balance a pen on the tip of my nose for example. I jot down some notes every now and then but that’s basically it. My mind can not fathom the concept on concentrating on whatever my professors are going on and on about. Well, full disclosure, I couldn’t concentrate even if I wanted to, especially with my boyfriend streaming in the other room.

He’s currently playing Among Us with his usual gaming squad. Listening to his input during the discussions, I can always tell when he’s lying. I honestly find it hilarious that his friends can’t pick up when he’s bullshitting them. I sometimes wonder if he has brainwashed them. And that’s one of the main reasons we don’t play Among Us together - he can’t lie to me. Not only do I pick up on his con with ease, but he always says he feels bad when he lies to me which is just the sweetest thing. Also, I refuse to play cause I’m shy. His friends are all well-known content creators and I’m a literal nobody. Every now and then I find myself wondering why Corpse is even with me. He’s always quick to push those thoughts out of my head and make sure they don’t return on a long notice, but they do interrupt my peace from time to time.

“Y/N, do you know?“ The sound of my professor saying my name takes me out of my eavesdropping of Corpse’s stream.

I panic, but quickly improvise, “Sorry, my internet is slow, you cut out for a second. What was the question?” I feel my face heating up, making me glad we are allowed to keep our cameras off.

“Question number 15 on page 82 in your textbook. Do you know the answer to it?“ My professor repeats himself, his tone annoyed.

I look down at the page that’s already opened in front of me. I let out a sigh of relief, seeing that the question is rather easy.

“Yeah, um, it’s...“ Suddenly, Corpse’s laugh reaches my room loud and clear. There’s no doubt my mic picked up the noise, especially since the door to my room is open.

The color drains from my face as I hurry to say the answer and remute myself. My eyes are wide as I stare at my screen, hoping no one will acknowledge that very recognizable laugh.

“OMG Y/N, are you watching a Corpse Husband stream in class?” One of the bitches in my class, Vy, speaks up, “Not a very goody-two-shoe move on your part, dear.”

I purposely unmute my mic to mumble a quick ‘Shut up, bitch’ that somehow manages to fly under my professor’s radar and the class continues. It’s the first time something like this has happened and I’m not sure if I handled it properly or not.

The class ends shortly after, allowing me a sigh of relief as I disconnect from the meeting.

“Fucking finally.“ I mumble to myself, leaning back in my desk chair. Tilting my head backwards, I see Corpse standing in the doorframe. I grin, not only because his presence itself makes me ten times happier, but also because he’s upside down from my viewpoint. “Well, hello there! How long have you been spying on me?“

He struts over to me, leaning his face over mine, “Long enough.” His lips linger above mine without any actual contact before he pulls away, allowing me to sit up straight and proper in the chair. “You still have classes?”

I nod my head while disappointedly rolling my eyes, “Yeah. One more. Shouldn’t be too bad since it’s English Lit. You’re done streaming?”

“Yeah, I just have some other things to do. I haven’t done a narration video in a while, I miss making that type of content.“ He plops down on my bed, running a hand through his messy black curls.

“Weren’t you recording some lines a few days ago?“ I frown as I try to recall if what I’m referring to actually happened or my brain is too fried to decipher reality from my bootleg perception of it. Online class, man - messes with your head like sleeping pills - makes you disoriented and exhausted with barely doing anything other than trying to wrap your brain around a lecture or two.

He hums affirmatively, “It’s not a finished project and I don’t even know if I’ll use those or rerecord them. I’ll have to listen to them again before I make a final decision.“

I tilt his chin upwards with my pointer finger, a gesture he has told me he finds very endearing, “I’m sure they’re great and you just refuse to be satisfied. Everything you do is great.“

He smiles a small, shy smile, his fingers gently wrapping around my wrist, holding my hand in place, “You’re biased. You like me too much to tell me when I do some bullshit.”

I scoff, “You know that isn’t true. If someone’s gonna kick your butt in formation, it’s gonna be me.“ I give him a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away from him, “Go on, now. I have a class to attend. You distract me enough while you’re in the other room, I can only imagine how hard it’d be for me to focus if you were right by my side.“

He smirks, bowing a little as he makes his way out of the room, “You flatter me.”

I playfully roll my eyes, getting my headset back on as I tap the last class for the day. We have an assignment due to the start of the class which we’ll have to present if the professor approved of it. We basically had to write a psychoanalysis of a character from any book of our choice. I chose Heathcliff from ‘Wuthering Heights’ which is one of my favorite books of all time. I’m proud of what I wrote and the way I wrote it, but I’ve always barely scraped by with a B in this class, a B+ if I’m lucky, so I’ve never gotten any major credit, even when I put my 110% in the assignments and projects.

Well, color me surprised when the professor calls on me first to read my work, complimenting it on its detailed and specific nature. I get my printed assignment out in front of me and unmute myself.

“I wrote a psychoanalysis on for Heathcliff, a character from Emily Bronte’s novel ‘Wuthering Heights’.“ Just after I say this line, Corpse’s voice booms throughout the whole apartment, no doubt being picked up by my mic. It doesn’t sound like he’s actually talking, he can’t be that loud. I put two and two together when I recognize the lines he’s saying - the ones he recorded a few days ago. They’re coming from his computer speakers. He probably didn’t check the volume before playing back the recording.

I mute myself as quickly as possible, but it’s too late. The voice dies down as Corpse probably turned down the speakers.

My professor, who is already done with this lecture, just annoyedly remarks, her words overdosed with sarcasm: “Read your assignment and you can go back to whatever it is you are watching.”

“Wow, Y/N! Again?! Are you one of those crazy obsessed fans or something? Is Corpse Husband all you watch?“ This bitch is really poking a stick at me, huh? The only crazy obsessed fan here is her, and my friends but they are allowed. Little do all of them know, I am obsessed but not simply over a YouTuber. I’m obsessed with my boyfriend who just happens to be a YouTuber.

“No commentary, please.“ The professor scolds her, “Go on, Y/N.“

I finish reading without any other disturbances. The professor compliments my essay again when I’m done, the small incident at the beginning forgotten already. Well, not by everyone. One of my friends shot me a quick text to joke about it which only earned an eye roll from me.

My friends don’t know that I’m dating Corpse either. As I said, they are simping HARD over him while I act the most indifferent on the subject. Whenever they ask my opinion on him I either say ‘he’s OK’ or just avoid answering completely. I know saying anything more enthusiastic than that would turn into a snowball rolling down a snowy hill - I’d just keep babbling about how nice, amazing, wonderful and a gift to this world Corpse is, inevitably revealing our relationship in the process.

I’m afraid of revealing my relationship with Corpse in front of these people. They are all run on jealousy and selfishness and I can only imagine how mean they’d be about it. I’m already not too fond of them, it would only be worse if any of my personal life was exposed.

When the class finally ends I remove my headset, putting my forehead down on the desk, barely missing the keyboard. I groan in frustration and anger at myself for not fighting back. I could’ve and should’ve said something - ANYTHING. But what? That’s a question I can’t find the answer to.

“Hey...“ Corpse’s hesitant voice comes from behind me, “You ok?“

I straighten my posture, turning to him with a smile. “Yeah, but these people suck.”

I get up from my chair as he approaches me, basically falling in his arms. The comfort I feel radiating off of him makes me relax, forget the past hour or so. He has always had this effect on me. Like my own personal kryptonite to my anger and anxiety.

“Did I get you in any trouble because of that?“ His voice shows clear concern and guilt.

I wrap my arms around him tighter, burying my head in his chest. “No, don’t worry about it.“

And I really wasn’t in trouble. Not until now that the video is officially posted....

I can call these people dumb all I want but they sure put two and two together awfully fast. They recognized the lines they heard during class as the same ones from his new video that came out almost a week after the incident, aka two days ago. It’s safe to say I haven’t touched my phone or computer since.

“This is all my fault.“

Of all the horrible things I suspected would happen this has to be the worst - Corpse is blaming himself for it. I am prepared to take all the shit these people have to throw at me but seeing Corpse beating himself up over this is killing me. No amount of convincing can change his mind. Nothing I say helps.

“Please, stop doing this to yourself. Non of this is your fault, Corpse.“ I’ve repeated this sentence more than a thousand time these past forty eight hours, each time saying it more and more desperately.

“All of it is my fault, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I hate myself so much.“ Has been his reply single time.

I can’t watch him be so mean to himself. It’s the most conflicting thing when the person you love most is torturing themselves. It’s easy if it’s someone else doing it, you just kick their ass. But what are you supposed to do when the person you want to protect is the same one you need to protect them from.

Corpse has shut himself away in his recording room these past few hours and though he clearly needs to be alone, he still left the door open just a crack cause he knows I’ll be worried sick otherwise.

While I’m alone in the living room, I’ve finally managed to brace myself and build enough courage to power up my laptop. Last time it was on it was going mad with notifications.

“It’s digital. Only digital. It can’t hurt you too badly if it can’t touch you, right?“ I mumble to myself, already frustrated despite not having yet seen all the horrors that await me.

And horrors there were. Everywhere. Twitter. Instagram. Facebook.

My grades. Some pictures of me no one has ever seen. My school files. People from my class tweeting Corpse to ‘expose’ me for the ‘slut’ or ‘bitch’ I really am. Corpse hasn’t touched social media either and I plan on making sure it stays that way. God only knows how much worse he’ll get if he sees these claims.

And then, like a notification sent straight from hell, an email from my professor.

Practical lectures on Friday. Be here at 9 AM. Don’t forget your mask and gloves.

Good thing I opened my laptop when I did. Friday is tomorrow and I need to prepare for this day. Not only do I need to hit the books but I need to toughen up a bit. I can’t go there looking like I feel - like a mess.

Alright, time to put the brave face on. No more wallowing in it, at least not until tomorrow afternoon.

I make a study plan and hop in the shower. I feel the need to apologize to my hair for washing it so roughly, basically yanking at my strands from frustration that has been suppressed for too long.

I get our of the boiling hot shower, red as a lobster, and change into some clean comfortable clothes and put my ass in study mode. I remove all the scary expectations of the morning to come from my mind and let the information the textbooks has to offer seep into my brain.

* * *

I’m about to head out and, despite my put-together composure, I am a wreck inside. I actually put effort into my appearance, I mean - I even styled my hair. A pretty façade to hide a ruin.

I saw my friends’ texts last night, all three of them ending their friendship with me because they felt betrayed. I haven’t yet decided how to feel about that. Doesn’t matter at the moment, there are more important matters at hand, aka surviving the next three hours.

My college is within ten minutes walking distance from our apartment. That ten minute walk has never been so stressful, not even during exam season. The air feels a little harder to breathe, the path a little shorter to walk. And my moment of reckoning a little too close.

I feel eyes on me the second I start walking through the park of our campus. Sure, I could just be paranoid, but the feeling is too real to be just my imagination in overdrive. I’m glad I have my hair down and a mask on so the redness of my cheeks and neck isn’t on display. That’s a sign of weakness right now.

We have two an hour and a half long classes between which we have a snack break that’s half an hour. I usually enjoy that period but I’m dreading it now. These assholes can only be so mean in the presence of a professor, but during lunch break they can increase that tenfold.

“Well if it isn’t Corpse’s girl.“ I hear that a lot. The whispers are not so much whispers as intentionally loud enough for me to hear remarks. I’m not bothered by them, it’s the least they can do. If I let such a simple thing get to me, I’d be crumbling by the end of first period.

I hear some shuffling behind me and out of the corner of my eye I see, yeah you guessed it, THAT bitch. She’s standing as close to me as she can without violating Covid regulations. A mask is covering her face but the menacing look in her eyes tells me all I need to know about the interaction that’s about to go down.

“I’d ask how much he pays you for the hour.....“ her long nails tap the wooden desk, “but that’d be rude. I bet it’s tough being a maid. Do you just clean or are you a multipurpose lap dog? No offense, I’m genuinely curious.“

“Vy, would you be so kind as to give Y/N some room to breathe?“ The professor asks as he nonchalantly walks in.

Vy rolls her eyes, batting her eyelashes at me, “Talk to you later, sweetheart.” With a fake friendly wave she’s out of my hair, at least for now.

Remember what I said about these people not being as dumb as I pegged them to be? Yeah, scratch that. These fuckers actually tried getting away with taking pictures of me with flash in broad daylight. Like, HELLO! I have two functioning eyes and a brain, I’m onto you. Sadly, me having figured out their childish but hurtful methods of humiliating me doesn’t change much. They still posted the pics they took, using the most derogatory terms they could find in the English language, always making sure to tag Corpse and me both.

Needless to say, these were the longest three hours of my life.

* * *

Shutting the door to our apartment behind me causes relief of the highest levels. I feel like I’ve locked out all the bad shit I have had to deal with these past twenty four hours.

I’m tired. I’m fucking exhausted. I feel like a discarded piece of paper.

And it all starts crumbling. A wall is bound to start slowly falling apart after being hit over and over again, each time feeling the blows with a stronger intensity.

I slide down the door sitting down on the floor and slowly taking my shoes off. I put my bag beside me and wrap my arms around my knees, hiding my head in the space between them and my chest.

One tear slides down my cheek.

Another follows.

And another, this time accompanied by a choked sob.

A pair of arms wraps around the ball that my body has been shaped into. One of his hands comes up to stroke my hair gently, feeding me the comfort I have been longing for since I left the apartment this morning.

“I saw it. All of it. All the shit they talk about you. All the names they call you. And I’ve never wanted to beat so many people up simultaneously.“ His words make me raise my head from its low position, giving him a knowing look. “I wish I could. I would, but that would land me in jail. Which doesn’t even sound so bad cause I don’t like going out. Only problem is you wouldn’t be with me. I wouldn’t want you to be there with me, don’t get me wrong, I’d never want you to end up in jail. I-...” I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. A quick kiss that says so much but mainly shows the immeasurable gratitude for his support.

Seeing those awful tweets and comments had the complete opposite effect on him. He no longer blames himself but the people who actually deserve the blame - all those jerks from my college.

I pull away, giving him a small smile. “I would never let you go to jail.”

He smiles back at me, overjoyed that my mood is slowly being lifted, “Come on, I have a nice crowd that would like to meet you.”

I know exactly what he means. Felix, Sean, Rae, Dave, Sykkuno and the rest of his friends. The people I’ve been so shy and afraid to meet since day one. Being shy doesn’t really make sense now, seeing as how they know I exist and that I’m a part of Corpse’s life.

What do I have to lose?

“Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.“ Corpse’s black avatar runs around my cyan one in the Among Us lobby.

I can’t help but giggle when I unmute my mic, “Hi everyone! It’s so nice to finally meet you.“ They each introduce themselves, expressing how happy they are to be meeting me too.

It’s the first time in what feels like a while that I’m truly having fun. These people are wonderful, each so unique and lovely. They never brought up the scandal nor acted as though they knew about it. I know they did and I am beyond grateful that they never mentioned it or treated me any differently because of it. Also, Corpse was streaming the whole time. I had my phone on his stream, my eyes nervously scanning the chat every now and then. I couldn’t believe it. Corpse’s real fans were just as wonderful as his friends - they were nothing but supportive and happy to have met me.

Now, I can either choose to believe these people were being so nice to me out of sympathy or I can believe they really like me and appreciate me for who I am and not for what happened to me.

I choose to believe the latter.

And while I’m still getting accustomed to this whole new spotlight, I know I’ll be able to handle it as long as I’m holding Corpse’s hand in the process. All I need is to have him beside me and I’m prepared to tackle anything.

“They love you.“ Corpse tells me once the stream is done and we’ve hopped out of the Discord call, “But I love you more.“

His arms wrap around my waist while mine instinctively find their way around his neck, “I love them, too. But they’re at the number 2 spot.”

He smirks at me, “I wonder who’s at number 1.”

I push up on my toes, putting my lips an inch away from his, “Hmm, I wonder...”

He doesn’t let me finish, silencing my teasing with a sweet, loving kiss.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @hacker-ghost @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat

3K notes · View notes

supercorp-hosie · 3 years ago

Text

My thoughts for Legacies 316: (here we go again😂)

(I’m combining after thoughts with live thoughts)

1) The soundtracks for this episode are amazing, they fit very well even for Finsie that I heard that a lot of people were complaining on Reddit.

2) I finally get my team Sowanby! I just feel so much from them! They kind of make a great team, but please, do not go on another heist again. You both sucks at that! The holes are, the museum don’t have a fucking alarm for Leonardo DaVinci’s work? Are you kidding me? And Landon beating the shit out of the guard but not putting him out first is so dumb. The worst is Cleo calling Landon’s name so loud, I can’t😂😂😂😂😂😂 you don’t want people to be on your back when you have the Malivore threat going on guys! And ha! You guys are on the headline! That’s why I really feel like these supernaturals are so outdated and solidified from modern technology, even in 2030! Are you going to tell me everything technology will still be the same like now?? Come on, there’ll be cameras watching everywhere. Like they can see Cleo using magic! I need my Trimini (or bridge) coven and Hope starting to integrate the supernatural world with the modern world. About Trimini and Hope future career, click here.

3) the line about “many who shaped it are never acknowledged” I stand! After that, about the key card my random thoughts were about Landon being the one that stole the key card😂 just out of the blue and I’m proven wrong though.

4) Landon bonding with Cleo!!!! They thought the same way, and “I can promise that anyone that have to get to you, they have to get to me” is so strong! But the scene after, is the moment I started really doubting Landon, the look is too alarming. But there are still Sowanby scenes😭😭😭 and the melted heart mud... I mean I genuinely believed that the spell didn’t work because Landon is also mud himself. But in hindsight it is horrific, like the serial killer is just standing next to you but and the signs are right in front of you.

5) Malivore mud being artistically friendly! I can’t haha! Oh and when Holarke walked on Sowanby inspiring moment🤣🤣🤣I can’t, they act like both of them are cheating on one another it’s hilarious. Thank you for acknowledging each other Holarke and Sowanby🤣. By now, I should have known that’s MaliLandon. It’s humiliating because Holarke and Sowanby got me so happy that I didn’t see the clues lmao! Because there’s this line: “Following the footstep of the Renaissance greatest man? ” but this thing, Cleo only did it with Leonardo, with whom she slept with......

6) And damn, after that, I felt like a FOOL, CLOWN, WHATEVER after that! All I have for team Sowanby is fake 🙃🙃🙃🤡🤡🤡 Anyway we still have to admit that the promise still stand true right, cuz it’s literal.🤣🤣🤣 MaliLandon fulfills his promise by eating Cleo. TYPICAL.

7) Holarke! Clarke is still handsome as ever😍. We can see his presence is clearly affecting Josie and making Hope giving him information. Can we talk about how cute is he sleeping soundly here?

8) Lizzie being the only unaffected queen here. AND IT’S FINALLY LIZZIE’S TURN FOR “AD SONNUM” I can totally see her pleasantness in doing that to somebody after being on the receiving end🤣🤣🤣 Josie and Hope had done it before so now we actually see her doing it. I somehow feel completed.

9) The look Hope and Josie shared. Hosie!

10) Josie is going to be the death of me! I like her look. And how the camera moving upward gosh! And I’m totally digressing here, what is a razzleberry? And what is a slush? I have no idea what they are, I just feel like tasting what she tasting now. Lizzie’s line, crashing and splashing😂 Am I colour blind? Cuz I really can’t tell whether Hope is wearing dark blue or dark green 😅 if it’s green, then the traffic lights colour are back again lol. If blue, then Hosie matching clothes! Did Finsie ever have matching colours? I’m just wondering.

11) Hosie scene! They talked about how seeing Clarke traumatised Josie~~ damn and Josie says traumatised is her permanent resting state. I mean even on her birthday she was buried alive lmao. And Hope wants to help Josie stop the traumas by sacrificing herself to defeat Malivore, like by literally dying. Which she didn’t want because she didn’t want to live forever.

12) Holarke scene again! I love all those banters and their dynamics😂😂 how Hope is the only one that trusts Clarke now. The mimic spell! It’s their thing😍😍. Oh it totally surprised me that Clarke isn’t mud man anymore. I’m really happy for him, because he finally break himself out of the abuse! It seems like triad is totally gone?? But I still kind of think that there may be something more? And Clarke’s reaction to Hope opening the artefact! 🤣🤣🤣 and the way that Clarke sensed the familiarity with Cleo! Yea boy, she’s the inspiration to the creation of you.

13) Clarke keeps calling Hope and Landon kids🤣 how’s the feeling of getting kid!Hope kicking your ass and saving you😂😂😂 oh she’s totally your equal. Frenemies at best! YES! I love Holarke bonding. And the fact that Clarke being Hope inspiration to believe in friendship and her family now can help her to defeat Malivore, I Stan! Don’t lose sight of the corner! Josie! Lizzie! Clarke! Yes you have them! I’m glad that Clarke didn’t die, I’ll be so mad because the writer would be bringing him back for nothing. Oh the incendia is painful, affecting me more than the fake looking MaliLandon eating Cleo. The height difference again🤣 with Holarke this time.

14) I love Maleb clothes, not really shipping them just short form for their bromance😂 but I do enjoy if there suggests shipping cuz it’s fun! Love that them being supportive of each other, superheroing, and the hero name🤣🤣they’re clueless too. Poor Kaleb and Cleo. I really need his backstory 😫

15) about hero names, I’m still having playback of “blursome and essential” in my mind. MG is looking at the mask longer than Kaleb, I feel like he’s missing Ethan, like a lot. Another thing is, since we see the effect of someone else being compelled so clearly, but we never seen Ethan’s compelling effects. Or it’s a budget matter? They must be kidding right? So maybe Ethan is really faking it? So that leads us to Lethan....

16) if my suspicion is true, then damn, Ethan is using Lizzie to get into SBS? I’m worried for Lizzie’s wellbeing. Also the look on Josie when Ethan drives near tight after she said like some eligible will fall out of the sky🤣🤣🤣 the timing is impeccable lmao. For real, Lizzie wanting Ethan to be Hope’s rebound after her kiss with him in the trio imagination, is ....so the trio is now sharing guys now? Jandon is still there in the history! It’ll be like a very messing love multi-triangle😌😌😌

17) the way Lizzie talked about how Hope is perfect the whole way and judging by the day when they arrived at SBS? That’s very long! Lmao, Lizzie are you sure you’re not in love with Hope? Hizzie rights! (I don’t even know when I started to ship Hizzie, it’s a mystery🤣) I think I can only talk like that about my love. Why don’t you make you and your sister Hope’s rebound? I’ll be happy with what I get🤣

18) The decision to bring Ethan on a tour, is so bad. What if ethan ended up enrolling SBS and Alaric can’t deny the application? Did she ever think of that?? And Josie and Mg is going to face the consequences in the near future🤣 dreadful! From there I already felt the cliche sweetness that when you’re trying to be a wingwoman and ended up “selling” yourself out🤣🤣 fuck CW for cutting the scenes of Lizzie’s epic facial expression when she was slapped with her own words😂😂😂anyway, it’s no way she can refuse the ask out after 315 where Lizzie still thinks that she can’t be the chosen one when Hope is there, but someone actually chooses her even after all the Hope is perfect speech. As much as I mourn for Methan and Mizzie, I’m happy that she got someone to tell her that. But I think they’re destined to backfire😅

19) so does the Mizzie “will they won’t they?” officially end here? I’m confused. Btw it’s really a way to mention Sebastian’s death being relocated permanently 🤣 oh wait...she knew that that prison world is destroyed forever right????? Someone save me.

20) okay I have to go back before Ethan picked the twins up: while Lizzie is actually worrying about themselves being stranded, Josie is just more concerned about Hope? Hosie! Poor Josie, she never sees that she is Hope soft spot and can totally make Hope happy too. Look at your dumb joke at 103, Hope’s laugh is magnificent too. It’s because of you. And yes I’m with Josie, I just ship Hope with herself and her axe right now, don’t put her with anyone for at least 5 more episode please.

21) The one that doesn’t dissolve into goo! Now is Clarke! And the both of you my dear twins. Btw, the dna thing, where Clarke confirms that dna is still toxic... so it applies to Landon too right? And it’s now just more overwhelmingly apparent that handon sex is without protection. Yea so much for epic love. And this is about the possibility where (hopefully) it’s not MaliLandon when the sex scene happened.

22) Finsie time! I got to say, it’s really improving. Their scene is beautiful, finally. That feeling that they’re nice together is now going on continuous for me. I’m happy for them! They are now stepping up on Hosie, not derogatory, I’m just seeing some parallels from hosie here. The disclose of Ethan broken arm, where Hosie has done, before that there’s Clarke’s traumatising Josie thing with Hosie. Next, the focus on the hand holding, I’m thinking of 207 and others. The “me being here with you”, with hosie 308 “then I’ll be here with you”. The whole thing is very comforting for Josie. The hug is good too. We can see that they finally have some nice scene and the bgm is good for them.

23) I have no idea what is magical agronomy, so I look it up. Again, that shows how Josie love plants, like someone in Reddit said they observed that Josie’s side of room has several plants. And in 307, the herbs, that she remembers. I think it can help a lot if Hope is starting a magical technology company. Josie’s interest in that can come in handy. They’ll make a great team. About TRIMINI INDUSTRIES tap here.

24) we are still missing Jed here. Justice for Jed. We need Jed real first name. Did anyone notice when the super squad faces MaliLandon there’s no werewolf present? They’re really downplaying that huh? But maybe I can be satisfied that they are not making Finch being there but not Jed.

25) We need to address this thing about Handon. It’s like one and a half time that Hope couldn’t recognise that Landon is not Landon right? We still have to give credits to her memories shared with Cleo actually make Cleo kind of recognise the difference? So half a time. I agree with Josie’s words that Landon makes Hope happy. I mean, yes, most of the time they failed in working but there’s still sweet scenes between them. So that’s actually what makes Handon tolerable. They are what makes me only do facepalm rather than skipping them. So yes of course Hope has happy moments with Landon. Just that it doesn’t mean that they’re good together.

26) it’s always Landon’s bros that first find out Landon wasn’t Landon😂 this time is Clarke. It’s Clarke that tell Hope, “Landon will never leave you”. That’s the inconsistency of the writers, not counting MaliLandon’s time, it’s still two times. And there’s time that some will argue that Landon’s feet literally walk away from Hope. So...that’s not true, do not stuff that in our throat anymore. “I always thought you two are destined to be together” is this the writer way of saying they’re not doing Handon anymore or otherwise? Cuz “thought” is past tense and “are” is present tense. I’m tired. It’s normal that Hope still wants Landon to be happy and still love him. But after the breakup, when she still doesn’t know that it’s MaliLandon, the “still dying to get Landon again” is obsession. Girl, it’s derogatory to your self-esteem. “If a mud man like me can beat his fate, maybe you kids can too” yea that’s Handon going on.

27) we shouldn’t need to be told that Handon is epic love multiple times. We should be able to feel them, see them ourselves. Why did I start approving Finsie now, because instead of them being only all talking and no showing, now we see them working well (until now). I have been widely accepting to any other legacies ships and why I never ship Handon? So really these multiple telling us that how good is Landon to Hope, is not working. I’ve never been so frustrated.

28) Let’s appreciate the Handon parallel with 101. It’s interesting that how Landon is inside the cage and Hope is outside the cage again. The meaning of the cage has deep meaning here. Handon first kiss is in the cage, that kind of mean that their love is trapped there. Like how their relationship being so troublesome and bound by these fateful encounters. The lights are quite similar, handon always has this blue lighting for them, which sometimes it’s kind of weird. The first time it is Hope decorating the ceiling with stars for Landon. It’s sweet, but also implying that what Handon has is the false beauty of them and not keeping the cage symbolism in mind. In other way of interpreting it, this is the writer foreshadowing their endgame. Cuz they’re trapped there, no way in no way out.

29) I think I’m not the only one bothered by the mostly lack of real Landon appearance in s3. As we can see how MaliLandon words sits so right about, Landon not belonging to SBS if it weren’t Hope. Then he leaves with Cleo, that’s a thing for Sowanby too, they still don’t have roots with the school, and it’s a great bonding between them, friendship or not. It’s the bond between them that matter. In 314 315, we always see that the students were totally fine without Landon. Like the three trios paralleling? It’s sad that Landon is like bouncing here and there in SBS but never really belong. And now the writers kind of ripped his personal development. So now he has neither his pheonix powers nor fighting skills, great? And even Hope’s growth too. We are seeing her moving to a good direction and the writers have to drag her back in the hell hole. Hope needs to not always looking at Landon for her happiness, it’s not good for the both of them. Like MG said, be your own person.

30) THEORIES regarding Landon: a) It’s MaliLandon all the way? I hope not, it’s reminding me of Lost Girl that one of the characters slept with the father personating the person she loves, and got pregnant. Tell you what was more alarming? When the episode ended, I was recommended to move on to Lost Girl on CW seed. It’s disgusting! Why do you want to help make me hate Handon? I don’t even hate them initially! I’m like struggling to be logical and lean on the positive side here. Why I can’t move on from this possibility: first, I’ve always headcannon that Malivore has partial control over Landon. Like how Landon actually wasn’t lying in 102 103? That’s Malivore. And Handon, as genius as always, doesn’t talk about it. Second, the way that Landon dissolved, he was human back then, but he turns into goo? how does it even work? If he is human, toxic to dna will make him die, not become goo, right? Even if that wasn’t a problem, it can also be MaliLandon trying his luck. Third, Malivore purpose is to make the perfect legacy, he will totally give it a try to make tribrid-Malivore babies. Fourth, during the inspiration from Cleo, MaliLandon has Landon’s memories, enhancing the theories that Malivore has partial control over Landon, so even if it wasn’t MaliLandon, it’s still partial-MaliLandon. Fifth, after the inspiration, MaliLandon said that he doesn’t need Hope to tackle his problem or for his purposes, which means he initially wanted Hope, thinking getting to Hope can help with his purposes. It’s really not a far-fetched.

31) THEORIES regarding Landon: b) it’s real Landon during sex, but Malivore got him in the prison world. While having Landon’s personal growth ripped and Handon still dragging out are not pleasant at all, this is still a more pleasant theory for me. At least Landon did start fighting for himself after sometime, and while the sex is still partial-MaliLandon, at least it’s not MaliLandon. (I’m always using at least for Handon 🙃) maybe we can still have Landon fighting skills? Cuz I was happy for him about this though. But I just don’t think so. The evidence for this theory is, my feeling about Landon in 306 is that it kind of fits Landon personality, but he did start his violence there. Another thing is the letter. There’s care in “to whom it may concern”. However, that can be just me being simp. And there’s also possibilities that the partial control from Malivore is cultivating Landon’s behaviour starting there and slowly taking control. Because making a deal with the devil always has its consequences. It’s either that or Landon was taken after the letter.

32) regarding the picture above, i just want to point out about another interesting point about the structure of the scene, if you scroll back and see sowanby picture with the door and another bonding talk, you can se that there’s always pillar and frames that’s framing or trapping them together. Like Handon. I mean that’s totally MaliLandon, so this pointing out is not mean to be romantic. It’s just a thought about how devastating that Cleo is stuck in something her whole life, especially the picture structure that implies that she’s stuck with MaliLandon again.

33) overall I’m thinking this is a good and disgusting episode. With all the unexpected twist, it’s really good, there’s actually layers in showing us that Landon is not Landon every time. Then those bonding. The soundtrack, the scenes. Disgusting, is about the theory, and how we are all tangled back to Handon again after we finally have some fresh air. Not to mention the always surprisingly convenient that Landon always has an excuse when we see Landon did something bad to Hope. Like he can never be making big mistake while only having little questionable doings that can’t possible tarnish him being the perfect person in the show. The first time he lies, Malivore controlled him. During the pageant competition, he is justified to walk away when he totally chose the wrong timing to ask that question, leaving Hope alone breaking in front of such important event. 207, monsters are coming for him, he’s protecting people by leaving. Musical episode, he needs to cross boundaries because it’s bound to be, without further reasoning it with Hope, when Hope specifically was very respectful of him in 111 about his songs. And now, this. That’s not him, we can’t blame him. He will never be blame for something big because the writers is biased. Very biased in making that Landon is better than anyone else in the show, so he’s the perfect guy for Hope. Like no one can compare with him. He’s almost perfect. Perfect than Hope.

34) Reflect on what Hope did in 308, MG is kind of right, she shouldn’t have touched it without fully prepared. Because it totally let Malivore running out free instead of him being an originally contained problem. It’s for the good view in whole. Heroes make hard decisions. There’s still the hair thing cut from Hope and Golem!Landon.

These pictures is my work, while it’s easy to get it yourself, and not that I’m professional in doing this. But I still did screenshot them one by one and did some editing. So please like or label the sources when you save or use it. ♥️

81 notes · View notes

xmint-conditionx · 4 years ago

Text

《the emperor’s dagger》 ch1 | myg

❦ pairing: emperor!yoongi x concubine!reader ❦ w/c: 4.5k ❦ summary: you recall the first night that you began to love your emperor more than your job required. you find yourself in a dangerous situation that surely means death if mistakes are made. being careful is your first priority, but it’s easy to forget where and who you are when you lock eyes with him. ❦ tags/cw: 18+ please, smut, the tiniest bit of fluff you ever saw, brief blood/gore descriptions, derogatory names but not in the way you think, fingering, slight begging, slight nibbling, “be quiet or people could hear” trope, a little adorable aftercare yoongi is here uwu ❦ a/n: guys get fuckin PUMPED okay. i am so so so excited to bring you this crazy story. as far as i have planned, there are 15 chapters. this has (kind of obviously) been in the works since daechwita dropped, so i’m sure you won’t have any trouble picturing our lovely king. this is a complete fantasy setting, so please do know that i am not trying to emulate any particular culture or time period.

also, please note that this is a repost of my work from a previous blog, so if it looks familiar to you, that’s probably why lmao

anyway, thanks luv, enjoy!

- minty

Blood stains your blade, glistening bright crimson in the hot sun. You’re surrounded by anguish, pain, the sounds of final breaths and final cries. The dead soldier that lies on the dirty brick in front of you, who had been alive and trying to claim your life only moments before is staring lifelessly into the middle distance. You fight the urge to close his eyes; you two could have been friends, after all. You probably have even crossed paths before. A shudder runs through you at the thought. How many of these men that will meet their end at your sword will you have known? How many of your people will have to die? Are they still even your people? You don’t want to know the answer to these questions.

What had he called you? What had he said before his sword clashed with yours?

That’s right.

“Whore.”

You never anticipated being in this situation. You had never wanted to have to fight; you only had wanted to look as beautiful as he had wielding a sword. Fighting was always something that was necessary for your people, but it was never something you would have to be doing yourself. You’d heard palace guards talking about some distant battle and thought it might be a fun adventure-- going off to war. You were wrong. You were naive. About a lot of things, it turns out.

That was a different time, when your only adventure came in the form of a secret romance. When the riskiest thing you did was love an emperor. Your emperor. Your Yoongi.

Where is he?

You look back to where you had last seen him on the battlefield. His long blonde hair shines like gold in the midday sun, only rivaling the sheen of his trusted blade. He cuts down his opponent with a decisive swing, the sick squelching sound of innards falling onto the hot stone as the man cries out. You watch as he expertly scans his surroundings, looking for anyone else that would dare challenge his skill in the chaos. He’s missing an earring, you realize. Both of you are heaving under the stress of battle. This is more than you’d ever prepared for. You don’t know if you’ll make it.

Your hesitant eyes meet his assured ones, and for an instant, sword in hand, it’s like the first night you’d snuck up to meet him in his chambers.

The dark wooden floorboards of the upper palace creaks, and you scold yourself for not being more quiet. Being caught will at the least result in a very long and extensive round of questioning by the royal guard. Trouble is the last thing you want to stir up.

Emperor Min had specifically requested you come to his private room in secret tonight, and that is a little strange to you. He has the power to have any of his women whenever he wishes, and he has asked for you to come to him under the cloak of night. Why must this time be a secret? He has had you many times before, so why must this time be hidden?

In his handwritten note that he had slipped to you earlier in the day, he instructs for you to wait until all the other concubines are asleep before you leave your wing. If you are careful, you can take a shortcut through the North Wing Tearoom and pass the guards who only patrol the center hallway. So that’s what you do.

You see that they’re far enough down the corridor that they won’t be able to detect your movements, and so you silently slip through the large ornate wooden doors. You’ve been in this room many times before, but it feels like your first time here. Everything looks so different without the familiar warm glow of lantern light. The moon’s shadows are cold and sharply cast, and a chill runs up your spine. You don’t have to even look to feel his presence. To feel his eyes on you.

He’s waiting for you, sitting at the bottom edge of his large, low bed, chin perched delicately on his folded hands. The cool metal of his many rings shine in the moonlight, and past those adorned hands, he is staring right at you. His stare is one that is unreadable to most. Nobody is ever really able to know what is going on in his head. Nobody could ever know what emotion lies behind the stare. You wonder how much time he spends in thought.

“Come,” he says, motioning in his direction.

You obey your king, stepping forward a few paces. Something on his bed catches and glints in the moonlight. A sword? You stop, only halfway to him. You could already be in trouble. If he had heard your conversation with another concubine a few days ago, heavy questioning by the easily fooled palace guards will be the least of your worries. They won’t ask questions before they kill you.

“Your Majesty,” you say to the ground, too demure to look him in the eye as you speak, fearing what he might say and do, “why have you invited me here like this?”

Emperor Min stands and almost silently completes the distance over to where you stand. His calloused palm gently grazes your jaw, thumb on your cheekbone as his fingers wind through your hair. His touch calms your racing heart, and fills your belly with strength and boldness. You finally find the courage to look up.

“I have a surprise for you, my dove,” the emperor says, and you think you see a hint of excitement in his dark brown eyes.

He quickly spins around and guides you over to where he had been sitting moments before. He picks up the hilt of the sword that was laying next to him and places it delicately into your palm, enclosing his hand around yours. You had expected him to pick up the sword, but to put it in your hands? Impossible.

“I heard you say you wanted to learn to sword fight,” he says, smiling gently down at you.

Your mouth drops; your worst fear has been realized. He had heard your hushed conversation. Surely, you were about to die. Maybe if you groveled and flattered him enough, he would spare you.

“Your Grace, it was only a passing comment. I was only in awe of how skillfully you were practicing out in the gardens. I did not mean for anyone to hear; I was simply awe-struck by your deftness. I do not truly wish to learn. It was a foolish slip of the tongue. Please, forgive me.”

Please, don’t kill me.

“My dear, are you worried about your life?” he asks.

“Yes, Your Majesty. I am,” you say, looking to the floor again. Hoping to pull out any sympathy he may have.

“I do not want you to lose your life. I want you to learn how to properly wield a sword,” he says so quietly it’s almost silent-- as if he’s afraid to even say it himself, “if that is what you want. And I would like to be the one to teach you.”

Women aren’t supposed to learn anything related to warfare, especially not something as dangerous as sword fighting. A single mistake could mean the loss of a limb, but being discovered in practice could mean the loss of a life. Even teaching was punishable by death, although you’re sure the Emperor himself would be able to keep his life intact if discovered. If anyone else had heard your words to another concubine, even if you were able to convince them it was an innocent mistake, you would likely be thrown out of the palace immediately.

Concubines don’t snitch on the little things, but if any of them had reported you sneaking out tonight, your head would surely be on the chopping block first thing in the morning. You’re all allowed so much. You live in luxury, you’re able to roam most of the palace grounds as you please, you’re dressed in some of the finest fabrics, given plenty to eat, gifted spending money, and on top of it all, you get to lay with the king. Anyone fortunate enough to be chosen for this position doesn’t do anything to risk it.

The emperor must sense your unease, because he puts his hand on your shoulder and gives it a light squeeze.

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” he says quietly.

What has to be hours later, you flop down on his bed; your labored breaths are the only thing that can be heard in the broad expanse of his room. You haven’t even crossed blades with him, and you’re exhausted. He only taught you how to hold it properly, how to angle a strike, and how to move, but your body pounds with soreness. Your arms and your legs are heavy with fatigue, and the cool plush comforter is a welcome sensation to your aching body. As you lay, you look up to the ornate ceiling trimmed with gold and you begin to settle your breathing. You lay the sword down between you and the side of the bed; at the beginning of your lesson it felt light as a feather, but as you were instructed to keep it up, it now feels as if it were made of lead.

He delicately sits down by your side, barely disturbing the fabric; you lock eyes with him and have to hold back a laugh. For some reason, you feel silly. You have never truly imagined that you would be in this place or situation. A woman? Sword fighting? Not just a woman, but a concubine? And with the king himself? If you had been told as a young girl that this would happen, you’d laugh so hard that you’d wet yourself. It was simply impossible! Or so you had thought.

You and many other concubines had watched Emperor Min practice his sword fighting out in the royal gardens countless times, and all of you were consumed with the grace and proficiency he could demonstrate. You were the only one, however, who ever wanted to be down there with him, taking part in the mysterious dance he was so fond of. You were the only one who had dared to speak your hidden desires, and it seems that you lucked out. You certainly served a gracious emperor.

His eyes turn into crescent moons as he beams down at you, showing off his gummy smile. You wonder why he rarely displays it; he’s always so serious when he’s in the public eye. The only other time you’ve seen as much as a smirk is when he bests his opponents in practice, his pretty lips curling into a snarl as he holds them at the point of his blade. You’ve only seen him smile when doing what he loves.

The way you look lying on his sheets, your heaving chest covered in little more than your underclothing and moonlight. Your hair spilling out in shining pools around your delicate face, which is flushed from exertion. The way you look up at him with pure bliss in your eyes. Perhaps he smiles because he likes what he sees, He licks his lips as he lets his hand wander across your decollete, which has collected a thin layer of sweat.

“I hope you haven’t tired yourself out completely,” he says, leaning in closer to you, so close that you can smell his naturally musky scent, “You’re a quick learner. You are quite good with your hands, my dear.” You flush further at his words, deep with insinuation. You would be lying if you weren’t thinking of other activities you could be doing with him, too.

“I am good at a lot of things, My King,” you return, tone laced with venom as you look up at him through heavy lashes. The chemistry between you both had always been electric. What one would put down, the other would pick up. Flirty banter was as easy for you two as breathing. Innate. Inherent. Natural. As if you were born to do it.

His hand travels down your chest and curls around your waist, giving your lax form a gentle tug upwards, so that your lips can meet his. He had only begun to kiss you recently, and as far as you can tell from the stories from the other concubines, you were the only one. You aren’t sure exactly what that means, but you also aren’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Or question why you’re the only one who gets to kiss the Emperor. The way he kisses you is nearly indescribable. He always starts off delicately, as if to test the waters, or as if to tease you. You haven’t decided which one it is yet, so you relish in how his lips play with yours. But you want more.

You push yourself upwards and deepen the kiss, and he responds in kind, sucking in your bottom lip to coax you into opening up for him. He has never been pushy; he has never pressured you - or any other that you knew of - into doing something you didn’t want. He has always been respectful of you and the others, which is the last thing you had expected. After all, you are just a glorified whore. And he is a king.

You part your lips and allow his tongue to dance with yours, each silently fighting for dominance. You let him win, and he takes the opportunity to climb over your frame. Noticing the sword by your side, he tosses it onto the floor. It hits the rug with a soft thud, as it has done many times that night when you had dropped it. He continues to deepen the kiss, and you can feel yourself beginning to get damp. Feeling that familiar tingling sensation run up your spine, you feel the need to reach under his silk robe and run your hands up his chest, which sends him moaning into you. He involuntarily pushes his hips against you, and you can feel how hard he is behind his night robe. It’s not like him to take his time, like this. Usually, he would have already put you in his desired position and… well, gotten on with it already. He might need some inspiration. You break the kiss by tilting your head up, and he begins kissing down your exposed neck, and fuck does that feel good.

“Your Majesty,” you whine, fist full of his soft blonde hair, “How would you like me tonight?”

He speaks in between kisses.

“What… ever could you… mean?” he says warmly against your neck.

“Would you like me on my stomach tonight? I know you’re fond of the view,” you say, playfully wiggling your hips. He pauses for a beat, and pulls back to look at you. He chuckles a little.

“I’m quite fond of this view, too,” he says, showing off his gummy smile again and leaning in to cup your breasts as he trails kisses down into your cleavage. He begins to nibble softly at your flesh as he pulls the fabric down, exposing your nipples to the night. He pinches one roughly, making you pull on his hair a little harder, both of you having to stifle a moan. How dangerous to be doing this at the risk of guards hearing! His hand wanders down your frame and then up into your underskirts, cupping your heat gently as you open your legs for him.

His fingers graze against your clit, and you feel the cool metal of his rings slide against your damp folds as he teases your entrance. You bite your lip and hold back a moan. You wish you could just tell him to hurry.

As if answering a prayer, he slides his finger into your waiting slit, coaxing more of your wetness out of you. He adds another finger, curling them up gently and pushing up against that spongy spot that drives you wild. You buck up your hips in response, and you feel him smirk into your chest. He continues to gently bite around your areolas, never quite reaching your peaks as he sets an agonizingly slow pace with his fingers. The sensations that spark through your body at his ministrations are dizzying, but they’re also incredibly frustrating. He’s keeping you just on the edge of satisfaction. What does he want you to do? Beg? You’ve never felt like you could do such a thing, but this evening has made you bold. And his touch has turned you needy.

“Your Grace, pl-please,” you plead quietly into the night.

He looks up to your face scrunched in desperation. “Oh, are you suggesting your king hurry?” he asks with a smirk, “What if he wishes to take his time?”

“Hi-His Highness may have me any way he wishes, of course,” you reply, biting the inside of your cheek to distract you from the torture, “But are the tales of your generosity false? Are you a merciless ruler, set to torture those who would only want to bring you pleasure?”

His eyes on you darken, and he pokes his tongue in the side of his cheek.

“Hm,” he considers, “I suppose I can afford to be kind tonight. After all, you’ve worked so hard already, haven’t you?”

He wastes no time in pulling his fingers out, and you clench at the loss, another groan almost leaving your lips before you’re able to swallow it. He lines his head up with your aching slit, using your wetness to coat his cock. The delicious friction against your clit makes you whine ever so gently into the space between you both, another small beg for him to fill you. He presses into you, the familiar stretch making you dizzy with lust, and buries himself in your neck once more. He quickly sets a brisk pace knowing that you both are eager, and it’s not long until you can hear how wet he makes you. The obscene wet slaps sound like bombs going off in the quiet, and your cunt drips with your slick. You briefly wonder who is the unfortunate servant who will have to clean these bed linens, because you always leave them completely ruined. The way he fucks into you makes you fall apart every time, fitting together like a lock and key.

The king’s lips find yours again, his kisses hungry and wild. You remove your hands from his hair that’s now cascading around you, falling in golden waves onto your shoulders. He’s more ferocious now, biting your bottom lip and then nibbling up your jaw where he sucks your bejeweled lobe between his lips. His hands grasp tightly around your jaw as you take him, every thrust making you more putty in his hands. His free hand curves around and cups your ass, hoisting you up and changing the angle of your hips. With every thrust, his tip grazes against your sweet spot, causing a loud moan to escape your lips, echoing in the large space. Your moan dies as soon as you register it; you shamefully tighten your mouth so that no more noise may escape, but it’s too late. You’ve already been too loud. He looks back towards his bedroom doors, and then back to you.

Something in his expression changes, and his eyes are churning with something devilish. He swiftly covers your mouth with his palm, making sure it’s firmly fastened there before speaking.

“Scream for me, little dove.”

You try to hold back as best as you can, but a particularly hard thrust breaks your resolve. Once you let out that little yelp, it opens the floodgates. Your voice is muffled by his hand as he fucks into you harder and harder, almost painfully. His tip is pounding against your cervix, and dark spots flash in your vision. You continue to lose yourself in him, eagerly meeting his thrusts with ones of your own. His other hand that was once cupping your ass, now finds your wrist and hoists it above your head, as he continues his unrelenting pace. You scream into his hand, and clench around him to bring you right up to the edge.

He leans down to your freshly-nibbled ear, and in a gravelly voice says, “Come. Come around my cock.”

As soon as his hand lets go of your wrist and makes contact with your sensitive clit, you come undone. You scream completely unhinged into his palm which is placed firmly over your mouth, and he too groans as he finishes inside of you, riding through both orgasms until you’re both exhausted. And you thought you were tired before. His heavy breaths meet yours, and you float back down from your high to find yourself resting on his comforter. He gives your jaw a final nibble, and hoists himself off of you.

You hear his soft footsteps padding on the floor as you look up at the ceiling again. The beautiful gold trim you had noted before is a large dragon, spiraled around an inset in the ceiling. He brings back a damp cloth for you to clean yourself with, and he gathers your night clothes from the floor where you had discarded them some time ago. Sword fighting in a dress is not easy, and besides, you look much better in your undergarments. He starts putting your sleepwear back on you, gingerly helping your arms through the holes. He doesn’t have to be doing this. He has never helped you get dressed before; that was a task left to each woman on their own. They had a separate and luxurious bath suite dedicated to their self-care, so why would he bother?. Sometimes the concubine mother would help if things got… interesting, but you scarcely needed help with this. Tonight was surely a night of firsts.

“Uh, thank you, Your Majesty. You didn’t have to help me dress after you finish,” you say, a little flushed from how delicately he treats you after how thoroughly he had just fucked you.

“Yes, I’m aware,” he says, hoisting you up off the bed and leading you towards his doors, “We can’t have you cleaning yourself in your wing’s washroom. You’d probably be dripping all the way back. We can’t have that now, can we?” he asks as he runs his hand down your arm, smirking lightly and raising his eyebrows, “Especially if you’d like to have another lesson.”

You gasp.

“Another? Your Highness, are you certain? Why do you risk getting caught doing this for me?” you ask, not concerned with your own safety, but of his. Even if his life isn’t at risk, the public humiliation that would surround him would be too great. Especially not now. Not in the middle of a war. The subjects of the kingdom are already on edge as it is. The trust in their Emperor cannot falter. Not now.

“Ah, come now. Don’t worry. As long as you stay light on your feet and I ensure that the worst guards in the command are at my post, we are as safe as my blade is sharp. Plus,” he adds, kissing gently against your fingers, “getting to see your beautiful skin glisten with sweat, and then getting to have you all to myself is reward enough for me. It’s definitely worth the risk.”

“My King, you can always have me all to yourself in whatever way you desire,” you say, “There’s no limit to what I can do for you. You know that.”

“Yes, dove,” he says, “I do know that, but there is one thing your king is not allowed. Something that nobody may know of. Your king is not allowed a favorite.”

You know this already. It is why the concubines exist, why you’re able to be here with him at all. You know that it is dangerous to have a favorite. Emperors in your kingdom are unable to wed, and it has always been that way. Spouses are a vulnerability, something an enemy can easily exploit. The concubines exist, like the guard, to protect the emperor in their own way. By allowing him freedom of sexual expression, he is less likely to feel the need to have a romantic partner. Having a person be treasured by the emperor only makes them a weakness. Especially now.

“Nobody can know that you are important to me. Nobody can know that it is you who holds the king’s favor; that is why we must meet mostly in secret going in forward. You’ll be removed from the palace if the officials get a notion of my fondness for you,” he says, holding both of your hands in his, “and I never want you to be missing from me, my dove.”

You understand. You have to. It’s part of the job. You knew all of this going in and you were okay knowing that you would be one of many. You didn’t come to the palace with only the clothes on your back to find a chance at love. You’re smarter than that. You’d be lying if you said being treasured by the king didn’t light a small fire inside of you, though.

You nod and give his beautiful, calloused hands a squeeze.

“I cannot keep you any longer,” he whispers, “you deserve your beauty sleep, especially after all the… exertion you’ve just done. You think you can keep quiet on your way back?”

“I think I can manage, but,” you say, “if I may be so bold, next time, I don’t want to be able to sneak back to my room. I don’t want to be able to even walk after the next time you’re done with me.”

“You’re going to be the death of me, woman,” he says, hiding a soft smile, “but even then, I would welcome it if it came from you.”

You think of the risk you’re both taking, and the consequences of being found out.

“Let's hope it doesn’t come to that, yeah?” you delicately ask, eyes asking a question you’re afraid to give voice to.

“My dove,” he says, “as long as I can help it, no harm will ever come to you. Now, get on to bed.”

You didn’t want to leave, but you know you needed to. The emperor opens the door a crack and nods at you, a silent confirmation that the guards were at the other end of the hall. A silent nod that said it was time.

You ease yourself through the small crack in the door and slowly pad toward your Northern Tearoom shortcut. You look back once more, and you see him mouth “goodnight” with a smirk before shutting the door.

Your return trip to your wing of the palace is much quieter than your first trip, and for that you are thankful. You sneak back into your room where the rest of the concubines lie fast asleep in their own beds, some of them quietly snoring. As you curl up into your bedsheets, you drift asleep thinking about how sweet his smile is. He never shows it to anyone, so why are you the one who gets to see it? After all, you’re just a whore. The emperor’s favorite whore.

#yoongi smut #bts imagines #yoongi x reader #bts fanfiction #yoongi x you #min yoongi #emperor!yoongi #concubine!reader #bts smut #xmint-conditionx #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi series #series #repost from my old blog

391 notes · View notes