#I don't want the newest shit; I don't care about the latest souless cash grab | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

medicinemane · 2 years

Text

The insomnia is honestly a bigger part of why I never managed to get a job than even the depression is

Just don't do well when I haven't slept. Start feeling like I have a cold and just am miserable, can have heart palpitation feeling stuff

Probably could get medication for it, but I don't want that. Don't want to deal with side effects, and... if I'm really honest I'd rather just accommodate it than try to fix it. If I'm working for myself doing something like carvings (if I ever get that set up) I can work at any hour

That's actually how it is with a lot of my problems, I don't really want a cure, I just want to figure out how to do the stuff I want to get done while having them. I don't mind being depressed, I don't mind my insomnia, I mind not getting stuff I care about done and I mind how hard it makes interfacing with society

#if it wasn't clear I've legit largely dropped out of society so that's my solution to it being hard to interface with #I think I technically qualify as at least somewhat feral in that I believe feral is something that's lost it's domestication #and I think with how little I participate in society it kind of qualifies as going feral #and I also think that I really do qualify as having dropped out of a lot of society #it's not that I'm disengaged from the world; I just don't vibe with a lot of stuff that society focuses on #which is a luxury my house affords me; I realize not everyone gets this option #but I think if you asked me whatever questions you needed to in order to figure out if I wasn't really involved in society #I think that most people would be satisfied that I was right once they were done with their questions #and once again; it's not the people who I'm trying to disengage from; in fact I'd like to get more engaged with my local community #it's more systems that I'm trying to break away from... like minimizing the amount of appointments or reasons to leave town I have #or a lot of modern pop culture or other chic things like fashion or that musk style of tech where you wind up with electronic doorbells #and this isn't something that makes me better than other people; it's just what makes me less miserable #cause I find all that stuff miserable #I don't want the newest shit; I don't care about the latest souless cash grab #...sorry; not sleeping makes me ramble even more than usual

1 note · View note