#I don’t want to reveal anything

[kissandships]

Reading Bread Givers, and boy does the father make me angry!

[blowingoffsteam2]

Still sitting here stewing in the fact that the manga skipped Riku’s sacrifice

[a-shadowedvales]

so… in the additional media of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.

i genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and brenner is far more intriguing than the show. everything with 9/9.5, ricky, and francine. eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. and they all had such a range of interesting powers. i firmly stand with the idea that jane is the only one who can contact the void.

brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out terry was pregnant. he discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. there would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. because of this, i would not put it past a man like brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” in this case, eleven.

eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.

back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because jane was 011. so there were at least ten kids before her. but i always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. that they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. with flying colours.

i just think the whole rainbow room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. boring and predictable. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth. i thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.

maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this timeline, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.

when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, brenner had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.

when eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with peter. brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a peter, that she must have been dreaming. eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given peter told her of the day terry broke in the lab, but brenner is convincing enough to make eleven believe it was all in her head. say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.

i still do wanna keep the henry creel canon, and keep him as 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.

when eleven is ten years old, henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto hawkins lab. he almost kills brenner by snapping his bones, but eleven manages to stop him. her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends henry to the upside down. she does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. eleven is rewarded for her efforts. although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.

brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. also loved the idea of brenner sending her into the void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.

by the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the upside down is basically what we see in canon. because she passed out the moment after she sent henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. for two years she believed this, until making contact with the demogorgan, and those memories return completely.

due to her saving brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. she happened to be there. saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) brenner constantly thanks her. but in a very condescending way. tells her: “you saved me so i can continue saving you.” aka, harness your abilities and see what else i can achieve from you. despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. that she owes him something further.

i don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. it makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.

it also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. they would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. as far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with benny, i'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. where she followed the boys home without thought.

also it's important to note that after time, jane does understand that peter ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from terry) who wanted the best for her. when she remembers him, knows that brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. he was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. this is another catalyst as to why after season two, jane never refers to brenner as papa. she does not give him that sort of credit.

[stizzysupremacy]

…

[corrodedcoughin]

Fantasy au where a group of travelers are escaping the kingdom of Hawkins. They hear of a hidden city - rumoured to keep all outcasts safe from the king of Hawkins’ tyrannical rule, under the protection of a guild of powerful mages and warriors.

They’re given a link, a super secret contact to meet in an inn the town over that will help them escape and find said city.

They come face to face, Strider in fellowship of the ring - style, with Eddie the Banished - gaze sharp and intimidating. They’ve heard the rumours- Hawkins runs rampant with stories of his alleged crimes - namely involving the missing crown prince. Every layman has their version, but it all chalks up to the same fallen Hero and great Villain story.

It’s clear that he is skeptical and very protective of who he brings with him into the city, but the owners of the inn - a gentle lady by the name of Joyce and her equally intimidating husband, Hopper, vouch for them.

It takes some time to get there, they don’t take a direct route to avoid ambushes and the like.

Eddie neither confirms nor denies the stories, in fact he stokes the flames and plays it up - they act as additional protection and armor, an air of “don’t fuck with us.”

Through the bravado and exaggerated stories, they start to learn bits and pieces about Eddie along the way - things that don’t add up. He wears lots of jewellery - he jingles like a cat with a bell when he struts - but one of the party points out that a lot of them look like protection charms, each handmade, possibly by children judging by the make.

He flirts like nobody’s business, but it never goes past that. They had to flee a tavern one time when Eddie blows up over a patron who couldn’t take a “no” a few times too many.

Among his jewellery, Eddie wears a lot of rings. Stacks of silver, gaudy and eccentric, though they spend enough time traveling together to start noticing the sole gold band on his left ring finger.

They do get ambushed once - but manage to fight it off mostly unscathed. Eddie plays it off as usual, but one of them notices him twisting said gold band, brow pinched at night when no one is looking.

He’s also surprisingly sweet - he’s always nice to the kids he encounters, always treats the waitstaff at taverns and shops with respect, he’s protective over the younger members of the travel party when they encounter someone particularly rowdy. They also notice how he picks up little things along the way - snack cakes, hand carved die. “Little gifts,” he tells one of them, with a lopsided grin.

Maybe Eddie the Banished isn’t the villain of this story after all.

When they reach the city - it’s relief - for once in their lives the air tastes like freedom. A bunch of people are there to welcome them and show them around, but mainly they’re there for Eddie. He’s nearly swallowed by a swarm of children, and catches his arms around a girl with mousey brown, shaggy hair (“Birdie” they hear him call her - they think she’s his betrothed for a hot second) before the small sea of people part, and the group of travelers still.

Because at the center of the crowd, though a few years older and in looser, more comfortable clothing than they’ve ever seen him in before, is Crown Prince Steve Harrington.

And before they can think to do anything, Eddie is dropping all of his weapons, bravado completely dropping, face blown open with relief. Then he’s running, and wrapping the other man so tightly in an embrace that they can’t tell which limb belongs to who. They watch them sway gently in the middle of the city square.

“I kept my promise. I came back to you,” they hear Eddie murmur with such reverence, foreheads touching, hands cupping the other man’s face with such gentleness -

And then they’re being ushered away towards the baths, “Birdie” talking a mile a minute about how they must be tired and how they should give the lovebirds a second.

And maybe the rumours and stories were wrong. Maybe it’s a story about freedom and love instead.

Anon…you don’t underSTAND I’ve been craving a fantasy book for so long and this is exactly what I NEED. please I am begging at your table for any scraps you care to share PLEASE 🙏

[jerichogender]

not answering the ask i got so as not to spread accusations around, but i really would encourage people to think about the potential impact of saying a transfem creator is “problematic,” especially with a vague/out of context/secondhand explanation given as to why & without providing any proof. there are people out there who absolutely have & will run with less to do truly terrible things to transfem people online

[devilsskettle]

don’t worry darling is like. unnecessarily trying to reinvent the stepford wives however it is inch resting to me that this movie got so buried by whatever was going on with the cast drama when it’s a movie that speaks to delusional radicalized incel bullshit + the stake that men have in controlling women’s lives and bodies + power dynamics etc etc which idk i just feel like even otherwise progressive people are so quick to completely shut down media with feminist themes if it’s too in-your-face about it and they’ll come up with a bunch of excuses about why it’s cringe. i’ve seen so many people be like “don’t even bother to watch the film, it probably sucks, the drama during production is way more entertaining” like whatever, it’s not a revolutionary movie, i liked it though and i think we still need explicitly feminist films and i have concerns about dismissing a film without even knowing the basic premise because of (what seem to me to be low stakes) interpersonal issues among the cast

[waywardwindd]

I desperately want to know what Luxu’s relationship with attachment is. Does he still make them? What is his relationship with loss? Does he grieve the generations of friends that have come and gone? Or are the numbers so many that it’s ceased to have meaning? Kingdom Hearts is all about our attachments and the power of them and then we have this character who has lived an untold number of lives, loving and losing and letting go, tasked solely with observation. In observing he puts himself right in the middle of it. Has he grown weary of it?

I think often about his friendship with Eraqus. By the time Birth By Sleep comes around does it mean anything to him, to have played a part in his death?

I think about his relationship with young Xehanort, with apprentice Xehanort, with Xemnas. What does it feel like to have this relationship that spans decades where for once he is not the only one whose form keeps changing?

I think about his relationship with being a nobody. Is it nice, to be separated from a heart that carries generations worth of pain?

I think about Xemnas’ death scene in KH3 a lot. I think about “the emptiness where my companions once stood.” How that loneliness is Xehanort’s losses, Terra’s losses, and Xemnas’ own. I think of “it must take incredible strength”. Everyone who has ever lived knows the truth in the weight of those words. And then I think of how this too reflects on Luxu who has lived so many lives.

What does a heart look like, after all of that?

[oddly-casual]

I’m currently having Spy x Family brain rot, and I want to write something so bad but I’m having trouble coming up with ideas if anyone wants to- I don’t know- give me some so I can sleep easier at night.

[from-ultra-space]

Personal Log

Cassius took me to a Siege-ball game today. When I informed her that the two teams playing were some of my favorites in terms of strategy and technique, she claimed to not have known. Still, her wide smile told me otherwise. After, she took me to one of the research and development districts of the city to check in on some of the projects I’ve been following. It seems that the newest iteration of the artificial tail has been working better than expected, although there are certainly still a few problems to work out.

However, I suppose I have been avoiding the primary subject that has been on my mind as of late. A few memories have been returned to me since my last update. They are strange and vague and overall, not particularly pleasant. I can understand what I was feeling then, but the thought process is so different it feels removed from me somehow. I am not quite sure what exactly I have learned from these memories so I will try to catalog them here.

I was not allowed into busy sectors of the city. I was not taken care of by my parents, but by someone else. Whoever took care of me was very strict and intimidating so I would not look at them and avoid talking to them. My parents were rarely seen but they influenced everything I did. I was very lonely. I had one friend, whose name I do not know. I was to follow orders in a very specific manner and to never disobey them. I am not sure what happened if I did disobey them, but there are many negative emotions associated with it. My strange vision, as far as I can tell, is the same.

These memories are a story that I have to piece together without ever being told what the beginning or the end is. Actually, to continue with this metaphor, I am not sure I have even been told the genre. Regardless, I think all I need is time to think on them. They do not seem to be affecting my judgment or my sense of self but… I want to find some time to talk to Ulva and Osmund about them. I want the story of whoever I was to be told, to not just be held in the pain I keep to myself. I do not want the burden of a vanished child to be mine alone any longer.

[lightninginapuddle]

Welp.

Was doing so well avoiding the leaks but I’ve been spoiled left and right this week. Guess it was only a matter of time.

Fuck, this is too much. A show shouldn’t give me this much anxiety. I feel even worse now that I know some stuff and the wait is even more unbearable.

Ignorance really is bliss, eh?

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I did something completely out of my comfort zone and I lived!

[jynersq]

i beg western liberals to think for a single fucking second before making sweeping statements about how any random israeli citizen deserves to die because of their government’s horrific actions. two seconds, maybe. if you’re a usamerican, maybe reflect on the unspeakable brutality of the bush era a little. you’ll get there.

[quietwingsinthesky]

Have you ever played/watched a playthrough of the game 12 Minutes? I think you'd like one of the reveals in it.

I did watch a full playthrough a while back. Unfortunately for this recommendation, I thought it was <3 stupid <3 No offense to anyone who likes it, I just thought the design of the loop in the first place was a bit clunky, the characters were sort of eh, and then the reveals themselves were, as I remember and as they played out on whatever stream I was watching, just kind of bad? A poorly put together story surrounded by poorly put together gameplay, but. like. willem dafoe was there 👍

[dove-da-birb]

So I may not be super active tomorrow as I have an appointment of sorts.

Hoping for the best, but expecting for the worst.

Edit; it’s not negative or health related

[magnusthepuppet]

hey guys. i’m back. and i’m a changed man. i will never be the same again. words cannot describe how amazing those episodes were to me. the symbolism. the tragedy. the pain. but most importantly, the hope. the hope that people can grow and change and love.

i knew they’d end episode three with some sort of cliffhanger, but jesus christ this was so much better then i could’ve ever imagined.