#I don’t feel as pretty or as feminine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peachyykira · 4 months ago

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#I really miss my long hair #:(((((((((#I wish I hadnt needed to cut it #I know it will (probably) grow back but :((((((#it’s gonna take forever #I don’t feel as pretty or as feminine #even though I kept it up most of the time #blehhhhh #ignore me I’m just feeling feelings #talking peach

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bixels · 11 months ago

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(guy who sent in the original i thought you were a lesbian ask) i just wanted to say i still find you just as attractive with the knowledge that you are a man, apologies if i made you feel uncomfortable or like you're less handsome for not being a hot butch. you're still plenty hot regardless and i'm sorry for inflicting tony hawk's sapphic nightmare on you

Tony Hawk’s Sapphic Nightmare is very funny, I would photoshop something if I could right now. Thank you.

#ask me #anon #rest assured this isn’t bothering me #I’ve gotten replies and asks saying they thought I was trans or enby too #and honestly it’s kinda nice hearing this #I used to be very androgynous and while I’m not anymore #it’s still nice to feel andro. like I’m confident that I’m he/him but being called cute or pretty is nice. that’s why I don’t put pronouns #like it feels nice that I can be masculine and still have people think I’m enby or andro or feminine. it’s good

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itspileofgoodthings · 2 months ago

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I go off about Catholic/christian religious influencers of all kinds and I do so for many reasons but one of the main ones is just. the feeling they’re selling (and it is a feeling and they’re selling it, even if just for views) it doesn’t feel like that for everyone. That whole simplistic set-up of struggle struggle struggle, breakthrough, clarity, emotional peace, tears streaming down the face. That’s not real. Or at least it’s not real much of the time in MANY cases and even when it is real that isn’t the only part or the most important part of having a relationship with God. It’s probably the least important part, the feeling. and so it fills me with RAGE when the emotional part of religion is sold and packaged and paraded and presented on Instagram as “inspiration”! it distorts the whole reality of a relationship with God and puts a literal and figurative Instagram filter over the whole thing.

#I mean. pray in silence where your Father who is in Heaven can see you. like??????#I’m sure I’m getting the direct reference wrong but.#anyways it just bugs me so much because I’m a highly emotional and intense person and religious experiences just aren’t like that for me #and faith isn’t like that for me. and it just isn’t this soft-hearted feel-good thing all the time!!!!!!!! most of the time it isn’t #and it makes me feel sooooooo bad and awful when some Instagram influencer with woman femininity or grace in her handle #shows up in my feed ready to talk about the waters that the Lord has led her through #like I can’t even begin to articulate my own journey with God #nor do I feel compelled to do so. but seeing other people do it makes me feel so instantly awful and alienated #and …. grubby #it makes me feel grubby because I am not seeing the world through soft pastels and lens flares #and because I don’t experience God’s love for me as a feeling #never have probably never WILL #and it’s just upsetting and maddening and I think it’s so bad for the culture #also I’ve started reading a little bit of st. Francis de sales every night #much against my will at first because pretty much all spiritual reading makes me bristle and makes me anxious #but honestly it’s been so good and he finds that kind of insta-influencing DEAD #because it isn’t fake and it isn’t performative and it is practical #and generally it’s realistic and hopeful and simple #anyway just ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have so many feelings about this

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knifesxedge · 1 month ago

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so i can find this again. finally bit the bullet and changed my kjs city names to differentiate them from my ocs so:

party — ash london coleman (ooo lady fagita)

kobra — james “jamie” eric coleman

jet — danielle “dani” camila reyes-yoon

ghoul — edward “eddie” maxwell mochizuki ii

#pi's personal #danger days #hcs #<- so i can find it #erica i literally don’t want to hear anything about it okay.#getting shot and killed for kinnie crimes #damien as a name was derived from father karras from the exorcist so why not give him a different gayboy horror movie name #my backup name for the siblings was blackwell but i prefer being a kinnie thank you #for party it was close between max and ash #max is cuter imo but that would make their deadname MAXINE. sorry to any maxines out there but we #do NOT like it.#thanks #i judged it in part based on what gender neutral names i would change mine to if i didn’t like the associations with my birthname #and i like max better but ALAS #unrelated but my parents already have trouble with my pronouns i feel like their brains would explode if i changed my name also #and yes ghoul is named after his dad. his family buys big into bli’s way of life with conformity and gender roles as a part of it #these names might actually be better than the old ones. with the exception of alex party will always kind of be alex to me #but these have more thought behind them. yippee #party’s struggles with not feeling feminine or pretty enough as a girl thus traumatizing them and feeding into their eating disorder etc etc #and their mother named them ASHLEY LONDON. YIKES GIRL #party seeing who’s first in their class and ooh it’s ‘edward maxwell mochizuki #the SECOND’. oh lah di dah. that might make them hate him even more tbqh. rich boy ass name #jamie is still jamie just a nickname for james instead of jamison #also i think party’s name changes from ashley -> asher when they transition in the city but they go by ash because. gender #if erie finds this post and hunts me down for sport it was nice knowing all of you

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ohsweetflips · 2 months ago

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current predicament im facing is that i am vaguely unhappy/dissatisfied with how i Am Presented or Perceived by people but i also don’t necessarily want to change how i present Myself too much bc i like my style, i just don’t like the. well. *hand waves*

#like that statement of:#i don’t want to be feminine in the way a girl can be feminine #i want to be feminine in the way a guy can be feminine #and here’s the thing. i am never escaping the guilt demon in my brain #bc as much as i am feeling. gender dysphoric. and have been for a couple weeks now #the demon in my brain is like ‘THIS IS TOO SUDDEN!!! YOURE FAKING!!! YOURE LYING!!!!!!’#even though i’m pretty sure i like.#1) either enough shit sorted itself out in my life that suddenly i hit the realization of #‘life is good yet i am deeply unhappy’ and kinda had to think abt. why that is.#or 2) i actually gave myself the space to think abt my gender and not completely panic #and like. the answers i found? wanting!#but anyways now i feel like i’m at a crossroads bc i don’t think there’s much more else i can. do. right now.#thinking abt coming out to more friends but that is also vaguely nauseating and terrifying lmao #but like. i want to wear my makeup and occasional corsets and my typical outfits and be like.#cool androgynous masc in a way that is still like. me.#and then i see myself in the mirror or a photo on instagram and it’s like a jump scare askdkfkskdk

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pixies--dust · 10 months ago

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I wonder if i would be more interested in hormones if i wasn’t autistic…

#my autism is pretty big on the adverse to change aspect #changes can upset or unsettle me even if it’s something small #in fact I feel like the small things are more unsettling #i don’t quite like when my parents get new frames for their glasses #hrt is a bunch of changes and I don’t quite want to go into it without knowing every single detail #i wish I could pick and choose which ones I want #my biggest want is a deeper speaking voice and maybe a more masculine face but sometimes I like my body the way it is #i would be much more comfortable if everyone saw me as male all the time no matter what #like let me be feminine without being misgendered #would be so cool if I could just send brain waves to anyone who sees me that tells them I’m a guy #my rambling #trans #autistic

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emmebearpaw · 3 months ago

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@ my ocs (please imagine in the meme format from Up)

allow me to bestow the highest honor I can give to an OC

*gives them my exact gender*

#my post #Oc tag #congrats to Aki and Molly #Who funny enough both use she/her (at least for a significant amount of the plot) and present feminine #For those who know more of my ocs #Atsuko is pretty close but probably has more active discomfort with gender and is thus a different gender #Egg (who I haven’t really introduced but is a major oc) has so much trauma wrapped up in being gendered female #That their gender is basically “not a woman” and if they had words would probably be somewhere between agender and demiboy #This will change as they get older and process their trauma but I don’t know what they would use #Btw the highest honor I can give a character I didn’t make is Autism headcanon #Which is very strange because I feel like in the trend that would suggest I am Autistic but I am not.#Oh more OCs: olive is a girl and a creature and both are equally important to the gender.#Liana is close enough to woman to not identify as nonbinary (she is trans!). Myris is very cis and not thought about gender.

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lunimy · 4 months ago

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sometimes i’d like to try makeup to do the cute looks i see online but i know i cannot stand the feelings of things in my face and i don’t like the idea of people thinking i’m feminine or expect me to wear makeup for them

#🌙.txt #like in other aspects in fine with being perceived as feminine but with makeup specifically? the idea of people looking at makeup #and thinking that i’m gemine because of it makes me want to vomit #it’s weird i think it’s bc i’ve been pressured to try makeup on i think that’s why i’m so against trying it #idkkkkk feelings are weird and i don’t really understand them #also being non white and having pretty much no eyelids also doesn’t make me particularly excited to try it

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oscargender · 8 months ago

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to knowis to be loved and to be known is to b eloved. I want transgender friends who will know me and love me in a way that cis people usually do not

#getting floored by transgendered feelings tonight. I went full femme last night in a way that I haven’t in a long time and it really made #it clear that what I enjoy about looking feminine is the ATTENTION. PEOPLE PAY SO MUCH GODDAMN ATTENTION TO PRETTY WOMEN #I will fully admit that I love getting positive attention for my looks irl. Like I’m not really pretty unless I #put a lot of effort into makeup and clothes so getting compliments on my clothes/appearance is like crack cocaine #which is not healthy. I don’t WANT to care about what I look like #but tbh one of the reasons I enjoyed cosplaying so much is that I got all that attentiob without the requisite feminity. Hahaha hhhhhhh #Last night as I was putting myself together for the charity dinner I felt like I was dressing up a doll. FULL out-of-body barbie vibes #I’m so disconnected from feminine feelings right now. But at the same time I had so much fun being pretty and getting compliments #idk. I don’t even know how to feel. I’m so goddamned tired of all this #if I could beam a perfect understanding of gender fluidity into the brains of everyone I meet I would have come out YEARS ago #I just don’t want to be alienated any more than I already am from the people around me #living in the us south means suffering alone in transness I guess.#I don’t want to be the first genderfluid/nonbinary person EVERYONE has ever met. I don’r want to have to justify my existence #but this cannot go on. but I’m afraid of T. I don’t want to go bald 😭#and I still want to wear dresses from time to time #maybe the solution is becoming a lolita lifestyler. dress myself up as a doll every day for the fucking compliments #leave no room for dissatisfaction with feminity. FUCK #I NEED A GENDER THERAPIST WORSE THAN ANYTHING #BUT IT’S THE SOUTH AND THE NEAREST ONE TO ME IS OVER AN HOUR AWAY #AND she’s out of network. FUCK #anyway I watched an episode of the new f*llout show and it was pretty good 😊#AND I’m playing st*rdew valley again on the new update and the update IS SO FUN #<-lil media update to lighten up this post.#this post was typed up not from a place of despair but from a place filled with the same emotions that a dog chasingits owntail experiences #I’m doing well enough mentally that I can deal with my transgender feelings again yknow. maslows heirarchy of needs with m #with transgender feelings at the top #weekend whining

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trafficpan-ic · 2 years ago

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You make me do TOO MUCH LABOUR

#feminine rage time #i will never accept what Society and most of all men makes ius do #and think and everithing in Society #im Not okay with it #Its enough #Will forever have rage for this Society #i will never be okay with what Society does with my girlfriends self esteem thoughts life or just what in generaal happens with them #what boys do to them #not one of them deserves it and does anithing to make them happy #and they treat them as shit #im so tired of this Society #and I wil fight forever against the norms the stereotypes and everithing around it #bcs not one girl should feel pain #they are all amazing #labour #labour paris paloma #also if this song doesn’t bring all your intern feminine rage above I don’t know this song just says it all #we all should fight #pretty sure how much we all would win #we woman deserve it

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ajournalingtrex · 2 years ago

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i would love to relate to “all of the girls you loved before” but the only person my boyfriend has kissed other than me was a guy in a game of gay chicken

and if you think i let him live it down, you’re sorely mistaken

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033h · 2 years ago

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being rly real but I have never felt like femininity was sacred or magical to me, the only part that ever resonated with me was the feminization of the pursuit of beauty and ability to use beauty as social leverage as a woman. and honestly that just felt like making the best of the hand I was dealt

#I have such a fraught relationship with femininity but I don’t have dysphoria or necessarily identify more with masculinity #a secret third thing that is also the path of least resistance: presenting (mostly) femininely and using she/her pronouns but I don’t gaf #I want to be a beautiful girl (and I am one) but I don’t care about femininity on a deeper level. if something else was pretty I’d be that.#i feel like that’s why all the tokenism and symbolism and reliance on imagery in white feminism was always stupid to me #like pussy power shit but even the less overtly exclusionary shit. anything you could slap on a button or shirt

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thebeautifulfantastic · 2 years ago

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i really want to be one of those beautiful girls who always have impeccable hair and natural-looking makeup but the truth is most days i truly don’t have the desire to put anything more than the bare minimum into my appearances

#i’m pretty simple tbh #i have great fashion taste (and am willing to admit it hehe) and i like to look good so i put care into choosing what clothes to wear #but i never really cared at all about makeup besides lipstick and eyeliner #(my best friend who is one of the most beautiful people i know would always wear black eyeliner and mascara and i just loved the look)#on a good day i accept myself the way i am but other times it’s hard to feel beautiful #i don’t know why but the thought of having to set aside time to do my makeup every day make me cringe a little bit inside #and then i see my little sister and my cousin and so many other girls and i’m like ‘belle you gotta step it up for people to start seeing yo #you differently and as more attractive.’#i remember when i was Little enough for my mom to do my hair every morning (and i had long hair) she would do all these fancy braids with it #and after a while i’d just… had enough of the fancy hairstyles. no more sitting still while someone braids my hair for me #so i got a shoulder-length haircut and never looked back and i’m FINE with just wearing my hair loose and natural every day now #but it’s quite think & dry & curly so it’s not always that easy #anyway traditional beauty standards SUCK #it shouldn’t be like that but it is. and i think a lot about the notion of ‘femininity’ and especially feminine beauty standards that are pl #placed on hispanic women and wonder just how much of that was passed down to me through my mother #i swear i will get a pixie cut and/or keep my hair short even if it is partially out of spite #belle speaks #this post is sponsored by tiktok LMAO

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stephantom · 1 year ago

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what didn't you like about it, out of curiousity?

Hmm I’m gonna have to think on it it some more and come back to you when I’ve managed to articulate something

#I will try to get back to you later anon #I didn’t hate it. there were scenes that made me laugh and smile #but I think the prevailing feeling it’s left me with is… confusion/frustration/dissatisfaction? about the message insofar as it had one?#hmm and I think also because it made me remember how much I disliked and felt alienated by barbies growing up #not bc of the body image issues which the film makes some effort to engage with #not beauty standards but FEMININITY standards #and the movie doesn’t acknowledge that aspect of barbie as a cultural influence/reflection at all #except for maybe Allen if you squint??#the assumption is that you want to be barbie at least to some extent. you want to be pretty.#but you’re too stressed to accomplish it or you’re too angsty to embrace your desire to be pretty #the angsty teen goes from wearing all black (and pants) to a purple skirt by the end. the girly makeover subtly signifies healing.#(I know that could just be me reading into it… but is it?)#it’s the way it holds up a specific kind of person as Woman and universalizes her struggles and calls them All Women’s Struggles #while conflating them and largely ignoring actual economic/legal/political issues faced by women as a class #and the whole ken storyline… ehh idk I need it to be more internally consistent or something. to have a coherent message and not just #‘it was like I was in a trance where I thought I cared about the Zack Snyder cut of the Justice League’ as a joke about… what?#male-dominant interests being somehow inherently toxic? cool women not being into nerdy boy stuff?#it’s the old men are from mars women are from venus thing #sigh. girl power. lol I don’t know!#sorry this rambling is all I have for you right now #I thought the critique in youtube by verilybitchie touched on a lot of good points tho so maybe that’s somewhere to start #on* youtube #but it’s ok if you liked or loved it. I saw it with my sister who was super psyched for it (which is why I wanted to like it too)#and she’s great so

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genderfreakxx · 1 year ago

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Deeply genuine question, does anyone else feel Insane Crazy Hyper Feminine in presentation specifically on the week that is or would be your typical period week?

#I’ve been on t for a while now and it’s still a pattern I notice #I don’t often genuinely seriously want feedback on my personal posts (although it’s always welcome) but this seriously baffles me #I’m pretty gender queer in my gender in general but the older I get and the more I learn about myself the more I recognize that it’s really #only like a week out of every month or so (give or take a few fruity days here and there) where I really feel super feminine #and I am pretty damn sure it’s synced to my period cycle??? incredibly dysphoria inducing yes but I’m not 100% mad at it?#I have fun with hyper femininity but my baseline is something that can definitely be considered more masculine on average #also related‚ I’ve recently embraced gender fluidity as a part of my over all anti-binary existence #I feel really notable switches that come seemingly randomly outside of the few I feel specifically where I believe my cycle would be #and even when I miss a t dose and I do end up relapsing into having a period it seems to line up #and I don’t think it’s ??? like??? a bio-essentialist thing at all? my body and brain just does this??? and I really really wanna know #if any other gender queer folks have this experience #I don’t trust a google search to give me anything other than gender essentialist bullshit though #would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on this! b #accidental b*#blithering on #gender #gender queer #genderqueer #nonbinary #transmasc #transmasculine #ftm

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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 2 years ago

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Do terfs know it’s possible to be like “I like girls but I’m not into dating someone with a penis regardless of gender. It’s just a personal preference. I can think that without saying that genderqueer people are invalid and dangerous” or do they live like they see with V.A.T.S. and everyone is marked as hostile?

I’m using someone attracted to girls in this example because the last one to show up in my feed was a lesbian who was VERY vocal about girls having a penis, but that can go for any gender and any orientation. You can just, not be attracted to an individual, that is very much a thing. You don’t need to find everyone fuckable. You don’t have to be so weird about it and start to get hostile towards random people for just existing. The stuff I have seen those people say unprompted is insane. They really do see things as “penis bad” and ignore everyone and everything else.

#emma posts #I’ve seen them go on and on about how‘I don’t hate men. I just don’t like them’ and then #they will go like ‘and I think that’s okay because I think all men hate women and want to hurt me’#sorry but I’ve been around and befriended enough guys to know that they aren’t all woman haters. most aren’t #and if anything they are often pretty clueless #because of how society is structured #and I don’t know weither I should feel relieved or mad over the fact that they just kids ignore #genderqueer people who don’t have a penis #like it’s fucked up that they are doing this to anyone but you can really see that it’s just #‘men are inherently bad’ in the nature of what they say. they never say trans men (using the term correctly) are dangerous #it’s only trans women #but they really think that they aren’t just being convinced that men are different and bad #inherently dangerous and are bound to hurt you #like sorry but that’s not feminism #feminism is about going after patriachial systems and all that #things that affect everyone and are what taking action on would actually be good to do #tw terf mention #and then a bunch of them get convinced that gender roles are real and that there is an inherently masculine and feminine energy or something #like girlie you are going full circle. that’s gender roles again.#but they never actually care to engage with THAT fact #before they even start with me I have and was born with a vag and two X chromosomes. which is a thing i only know because I took several #genetic tests for unrelated reasons. that’s because chromosomes don’t always ‘match’ what you developed to have in the womb #it’s actually a very complicated and messy process with a lot of potential results but that’s above middle school science class #and someone was calling people gendies like. if you’re going to try to insult me make up something better #it’s always annoying when bullies can’t even come up with something interesting to harass me with #I’ve been called worse. you can do better than a thirteen year old #or maybe they can’t. they don’t understand science above that grade so how could they come up with something better than the 13 year olds #I’m not making this re-blog able right now because I’m fucking tired of shit #no one pays attention to me normally so it would be super annoying to get noticed over THIS

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