#I couldn't stop reading this goddamn gay poetry book

[honestlyinnerglitter]

Can we just take a moment to shout out ultimate Heller - my boy Richard Siken?

Have y’all read Crush recently? It’s a book of poems entirely written, inadvertantly, for Dean and Cas and it’s so beautiful. 

Almost every single poem has links to Dean and Cas, and it was published in 2005 - the same year SPN began - so honestly I don’t know who’s imitating who here. 

But like just look at this stuff: 

The poem Dirty Valentine -Castiel’s perspective, My Bloody Valentine

‘There are so many things I’m not allowed to tell you / I swallow your heart and you make me spit it up again / You swallow my heart and flee / Everything eating everything in the end.’ 

Little Beast - Castiel’s perspective, ‘I’ll just wait here then’

‘That’s a nice touch, stains in the night, whiskey and kisses for everyone / Tonight, by the freeway, a man eating fruit pie with a buckknight carves the likeness of his lover’s face into the motel wall / I’m sure you remember, I was on the phone with you, sweetheart / He had green eyes, I wanted to sleep with him / damn if there isn’t anything sexier than a slender boy with a handgun, a fast car, a bottle of pills / all I can do is stand on the curb and say ‘sorry about the blood in your mouth, I wish it was mine.’

Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out - Castiel’s perspective 

(Castiel fighting Dean, trying to speak to Dean as an angel, stopping him from saying yes to Michael)

‘And the part where I push you flush against the wall and every part of your body rubs against the bricks, shut up, I’m getting to it / I make you pancakes, I take you hunting / Inside your head the sound of glass, a car crash as the trucks roll ove and explode in slow motion, Hello darling, sorry about that / I’m not really sure why I do it, but in this version you are not feeding yourself to a bad man / It all falls into frame, close enough to see the blue rings of my eyes.’ 

A Primer for the Small Weird Loves - For Castiel, Despair

‘So you say you want a deathbed scene, the knowledge that comes before knowledge, and you want it dirty and no one can ever figure out what you want and you won’t tell them / And you realise the one person in the world who loves you isn’t the one you thought it would be / And the boy who loves you the wrong way keeps weakening / You thought if you handed over your body, he’d do something interesting.’ 

Planet of Love - For Castiel, Despair

‘Imagine this, you’re driving, the sky’s bright / You’re going to die in your best friend’s arms / Someone’s pulling a gun and you’re jumping into the middle of it. You didn’t think it would feel this way.’ 

Wishbone - Dean & Castiel, Tombstone

‘I’m bleeding, i’m not just making conversation / It’s a Western, it’s a downright shoot-em-up / We made a graveyard out of the bone white afternoon / It’s another wrong-man-dies scenario and we keep doing it / I’m battling monsters, I’m pulling you out of burning buildings and you say ‘I’ll give you everything but you never come through’ / I’ll turn myself into a gun, because I’m hungry and hollow and just want something to call my own / Do you want to go home now? There’s a bottle of whiskey in the trunk of the Chevy and a dead man at our feet’. 

Driving, Not Washing - For Castiel

(Castiel rebelling against the angels, over and over, for Dean)

‘But angels are pouring out of the farmland, angels are swarming over the grassland, angels ripping from their little dens, arms swinging, wings aflutter, dropping their white hot bombs of love / They want you to love the whole damn world but you won’t, you want it all narrowed down to one fleshy man in the bath who knows what to do with his body, with his hands.’ 

You are Jeff - Castiel’s perspective

‘I will come back from the dead for you. This could be a city, this could be a graveyard / You’re in a car with a beautiful boy and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you / he reaches over and touches you and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.’ 

Snow and Dirty Rain - For Cas & Dean

‘My dragonfly, my black-eyed fire, the knives in the kitchen are singing for blood / we’ve read the back of the book, we know what’s going to happen / And then it’s gone. Makes you sad, all your friends are gone. Goodbye. Goodbye. No more tears. I would like to meet you all in Heaven / The way you slam your body into mine reminds me I’m alive, but mosters are always hungry, darling / I was trying to describe the kingdom but the letters kept smudging as I wrote them: the hunter’s heart, the hunter’s mouth, the trees and the trees.’ 

Addiitonal dean/cas coded poems not referenced here: 

The Torn Up Road 

Visible World - Dean’s grief for Cas

Road Music - Driver picks the music 

The Dislocated Room 

Fin.