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appalachiananarchist · 3 years ago

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1. Vaccine data on preventing disease

I will start this post by summarizing (hopefully as simply as I can) a handful of studies pertaining to how well the vaccines work at preventing disease. I will start by looking at some of the early vaccine studies for the mRNA vaccines (as these are the ones I have researched most heavily). These are older studies done back before vaccine distribution really got big. In fact, I remember doing a journal club meeting on one of these articles sometime late last fall.

The first is one of the Pfizer studies. This one excluded people with compromised immunity which I understand, but angered me greatly when it came out (as a person with compromised immunity). Note that it was designed and funded by Pfizer, though when you look at the protocol and stats it appears well-designed. Like other studies discussed here, infection with COVID-19 used the FDA definition which is a positive test with at least one symptom (which can be basically anything). However, in summary, they found that a 2-dose regimen offered 95% protection against COVID-19 infection per the above definition. (SOURCE)

The second study (on Moderna) was funded by the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority and the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, and the study protocol was designed by Moderna with their assistance. This study also used the FDA definition of COVID-19 as a positive test with a symptom and excluded the immune compromised. However, it found that a vaccination was 94.1% efficacious in preventing COVID-19 infection. (SOURCE)

Now that that part is out of the way I wanted to go over some more real-world data; that is, how are these vaccines actually functioning out there? Are they working on a population level like these studies suggest they ought to? Well...

The Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report from April through July of 2021 shows that vaccination reduces chances of catching COVID 5 fold. This report was important in examining how the vaccines are responding since the delta variant of COVID-19 has started to surge. (SOURCE)

A study out of California found in July of 2021 that COVID-19 infection rates in unvaccinated people are ~5X higher than in vaccinated people. (SOURCE) They do raise the concerns that more studies are needed on how long immunity lasts and whether it will wane.

Another study examined COVID-19 vaccination effectiveness among health care workers, a group that is heavily exposed to COVID-19. They looked at whether the vaccines would prevent disease (in their study, defined as a positive test with at least one symptom). They specifically looked at the mRNA vaccines (Pfizer, Moderna). The study found "a single dose...to be 82% effective against symptomatic COVID-19 and 2 doses to be 94% effective." (SOURCE)

And before you say "but those were only symptomatic cases!" here is another study also looking at health care workers. This study spanning December 2020-March 2021 basically tested all of their enrollees for 13 weeks and found that those who received 1 vaccine dose had 80% lower chances of getting COVID, while those with 2 doses had a 90% lower chance of getting COVID. This testing was done regardless of symptom burden. (SOURCE)

There is ongoing data collection on how long immunity lasts with some new reports (warning - following study is not yet peer reviewed) suggests that vaccine efficacy may drop to ~85% after 6 months in preventing disease, but efficacy in preventing severe disease remains very high, at 97%. Still, though, 85% is pretty good. (SOURCE)

So here are just a TEENY TINY number of the many studies coming out regarding the vaccines. I could sit here and list so many more, but then this post would be way too bloated and repetitive because they all say the same thing: the vaccine works. This conclusion is both consistent and reproducible, which when talking about scientific studies, means there is some good research backing it up. And before anyone says anything--YES, you can still catch COVID after getting a vaccine. Nothing works 100% of the time. Just because my car has an air bag and I use seat belts doesn't mean I won't get injured if I crash my car. But based on the available data, it works well in preventing infection in a lot of people, and furthermore, there is one other MAJOR benefit to the vaccine which I will discuss below.

2. Vaccine data on preventing severe disease:

Probably the most important realization that has come out of the past few months is our understanding of how robustly these vaccines effect disease course and severity. I am from eastern KY so one of the big hospital systems in my area is Appalachian Regional Health, which spans 13 facilities. According to their latest stats, they have 213 patients hospitalized with COVID-19. Of those, 16 are vaccinated. That means a little over 92% of the COVID patients there sick enough to need hospitalized are unvaccinated. For further reference, another major hospital in the region, Pikeville Medical, today reported that 70 of their 88 hospitalized COVID patients (~80%) are unvaccinated, and 20 their 24 (83%) ICU COVID-19 patients are unvaccinated. Another regional hospital, Kings Daughters, had recently reported that 86.5% of those hospitalized with COVID are unvaccinated and 100% of COVID patients in their ICU are unvaccinated. So before I even get to national statistics, you can look at these numbers as already see a trend, and I would hope you can see that these numbers are way too high and too consistent to be coincidence. For sources on these numbers you can visit the ARH, PMC, & KDMC websites or facebook pages where they post their stats (HERE, HERE, and HERE)

Now to post a few studies backing this up:

A recent CDC Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report (we talked about this one earlier) shows that vaccination reduces chances of hospitalization due to COVID-19 by ten fold. (SOURCE) The same report shows that vaccination reduces the risk of death due to COVID-19 by ten fold, as well!

Another recent study that incorporated delta variant data into their research has found that "unvaccinated adults aged ≥18 years are 17 times more likely to be hospitalized compared with vaccinated adults." (SOURCE).

Another study coming out of California, also post-delta surge, showed similar results, with hospitalization rates ~29X higher in unvaccinated people. (SOURCE)

Another study looked at how the vaccine protects adults over age 65, which is going to be a more vulnerable group. It found that adults >65 who received 1 dose of a COVID vaccine saw a 64% reduction in hospitalization if they contracted disease, and those with 2 doses saw a 94% reduction in hospitalization with disease. (SOURCE)

To me, studies like these are really important. What we are seeing over and over again right now is that our health care system is being absolutely flooded by unvaccinated COVID patients who need to be hospitalized. This is stressing the health system in ways it was not built to endure. We do not have enough equipment or staff to manage the volume of patients we are seeing.

Sadly, this does not just affect COVID patients. When a bunch of unvaccinated people get sick and take up ICU beds, that means anyone who gets sick with non-COVID problems, like strokes and heart attacks, also suffer when there aren't beds left for them. For example, your grandmother who developed a bad bacterial pneumonia and is in respiratory distress may die because an unvaccinated COVID-19 patient got there first and took the last vent in the hospital, and there aren’t any ICU beds to transfer her to nearby because the wait lists are all so long because all the ICUs are also filled with unvaccinated COVID patients. I'd argue this is the biggest problem we are facing right now regarding the pandemic even if this problem is invisible to people who don't work in healthcare. Please believe me when I say this: we are drowning, and we are drowning because of unvaccinated COVID patients who are getting severely ill. This is completely unnecessary and avoidable when we are seeing over and over again that vaccination does wonders to prevent you from getting sick enough to need the hospital at all.

Don’t believe me still? I want each of you reading this to visit the webpage for some of your local hospitals. Most of them are posting daily or weekly COVID admission and death statistics. Just take a look at them. Take a look at who is getting admitted and who is dying.

3. Vaccine safety:

Any vaccine, medication, herbal supplement, or what have you that goes into your body carries the risk of an adverse side effect. As a result each of us has to ask ourselves, do the potential benefits outweigh the potential risks? To answer that we need to better understand the risks associated with COVID-19 vaccination, and that means turning back to the data we have available.

According to NYT Vaccine Tracker, there have been 5.73 billion vaccine doses administered worldwide since its release. This generates an abundance of data for us to work with--more than we have for most medications you take every day--in regards to understanding safety profiles of these immunizations. Given that impressive number, we are by no means seeing widespread death or disability popping up due to the vaccine, but let's get more specific. We have seen a couple common possible adverse effects:

Flu-like symptoms: Most common by far is going to be flu-like symptoms or redness/pain at the injection site. This is actually a good side effect because it means that the vaccine is doing what it is meant to do. I won't talk much more about this one because I doubt flu-like symptoms are the reason people are scared of the vaccine. But for most of you, if you have any side effects at all, this will be as bad as it gets. You are more likely to have these symptoms after dose #2.

Anaphylaxis: Anaphylaxis can occur in anyone when you encounter a substance you have a try allergy to. This is going to be a rare side effect (2 to 5 people per million, or 0.00025%), but is also why you are asked to wait 15-30 minutes to be monitored after receiving your vaccine. That way if you show any signs of distress you can be given immediate treatment. Any time you get a vaccine or start a new medicine a severe allergy is a possible reaction, but if you already KNOW that you are highly allergic to something in the vaccine, you should not receive it.

TTP: This is a disorder that causes abnormal clotting or bleeding. It seems to be associated exclusively with the J&J or AstraZeneca adenoviral-vector vaccines based on current data trends. While rare, this is going to be the most serious adverse effect from the immunization. Data suggest the highest risk is for women under 50, but it is still remarkably rare with only 45 confirmed cases of TTP after over 14 million vaccine doses given. This is an incredibly, incredibly low incidence. Of note, however, patients with the actual COVID-19 virus have a SIGNIFICANTLY increased risk of clotting, especially in severe disease. This increased risk may be due to the production of auto-antibodies in response to COVID-19 infection. Summary: your risk of a blood clot is much higher with the actual virus than the vaccine.

Myocarditis/Pericarditis: These are conditions involving inflammation around the heart tissues or heart muscle. There does appear to be an increased rate of myo/pericarditis after vaccination. This is more common in teenaged males who received an mRNA vaccine (such as Moderna or Pfizer). This is also very rare. According to VAERS, 1404 cases of possible myo/pericarditis were reported after vaccination through September of 2021, though only 817 were able to be confirmed. A CDC report from June 2021 estimated about 60 cases of myo/pericarditis may develop per 1 million vaccine series completed (if you are male aged 12-17; otherwise the rate is lower). However, that same report also estimated the prevention of 71 ICU admissions, 2 death, and 215 hospitalizations among that same group per million vaccines given. Again it is a risk-benefit discussion, but here the numbers definitely point to a benefit overall. Vaccine-induced myocarditis and/or pericarditis are generally one-time events with an excellent prognosis, so rarely represent a threat to life. As the authors of the study linked above stated, "The absolute incidence was extremely low, cases were mild, and all patients recovered. Fear of myocarditis or pericarditis should not influence COVID-19 vaccine decisions."

Guillain-Barré Syndrome: This is a disorder of the nervous system that can cause temporary weakness and paralysis. It is commonly seen after immunizations or infections with various pathogens. It has been associated with adenovirus-vector vaccines (J&J, AstraZeneca) at a very low rate (about 0.0008%) with J&J reporting ~100 cases per 12.2 million doses per VAERS data, and 227 cases out of 51.4 million doses given per EU/EEA to the EMA again through June 2021. People with a history of Guillan-barre are more likely to get it again, so your risk is probably slightly higher if you have had issues with this before, so people with this history may want to opt for an mRNA vaccine which has not been associated with this.

4. Addressing Common Concerns

If the vaccine works, why do you feel unsafe if I don't get it? A vaccinated person is more protected from you than if they were not vaccinated, but no vaccine (or medical treatment in general) works 100% of the time, so there is always a risk of spreading disease no matter what. This is true for every single vaccine in history so COVID shots aren't special in this way. The data supports indisputibly that the vaccine reduces the RISK of getting COVID, but does not protect against it perfectly, so people should still use common sense. Also, vaccine works much, much better when everyone gets them, which is why vaccinated people enourage others to get the shot too. Think about it. Most of the studies I linked said the vaccines were in the range of 90-95% effective at preventing disease. If everyone in the room is vaccinated, the chances any of them (with their 90-95% protection) are infected and spreading COVID is going to be lower than a room of unvaccinated people, who have no protection against disease. Think now of yourself as a vaccinated bystander inside each of those rooms. In room 1, there is a low rate of COVID-19 being spread around, so your vaccine-induced immunity is now bolstered by the fact that there is also low spread in the community, making your overall chances of getting sick extremely low. In room 2 there is likely moderate to high spread of COVID-19 virus, meaning that even if you are vaccinated, because your vaccine can never be 100% effective, you sadly still have a chance of getting sick (even if it is lower than it would be if you were not vaccinated). Does that make sense?

If vaccines work, why do I have to wear a mask? Same reason as above. We can get into masks later, but point is, both offer protection against the spread of COVID-19, but neither is 100% surefire perfect immunity. Human bodies just don't work that way, sadly. By using both, you increase your chances of preventing catching or spreading disease more than if you did either one in isolation. Bringing back the car example, a seat belt is good, an air bag is also good, but I'd definitely prefer to get a car that has both a seat belt AND an air bag.

Why is the vaccine not approved for kids? Lacking data on safety and efficacy, as young children were excluded from many of the trials that looked at these vaccines.

We don't have long term safety data. It is unprecedented for an immunization to cause new side effects years later. These shots work by activating your immune system. Any problems they are going to cause will occur surrounding that period of immune activation (meaning, at most a few weeks after you get it). That is why this vaccines typically have any side effects show up within days to weeks of administration. The idea that novel side effects will pop up YEARS later is unlikely. Now, a vaccination may have cause side effect that has long-lasting health implications, such as developing TTP and having a stroke from it, but my point is that will start within weeks of vaccination, not randomly 5 years later after the vaccine has long since left your system. As a result, any side effects from the vaccine are things we will already be seeing right now. The virus, though... I can tell you that scar tissue in lungs doesn't magically vanish, and brain damage from hypoxia doesn't vanish. I can tell you that those who develop a generalized COVID inflammatory response are dealing with symptoms months post-infection. I can tell you that the virus itself is causing irreversible health problems and disability, and we KNOW that right now without waiting another 5 years. And we know that being unvaccinated increases your risk of getting sick enough to have these permanent disabilities. We also don't have time to wait 5-10 years on more data to deal with this problem. Action has to be taken now, or a lot of people won't be alive in 5 years to talk about the long term effects. I wish none of this had ever happened, but it did, and we have to do something or it won't get any better. This is a global pandemic; we have to cooperate with each other to eradicate it.

Vaccines should not be mandated by the state or companies. I don't really disagree. I do not think authority figures should be able to tell any person that they have to put any substance into their body against their will or else face starvation or homelessness, which is a real threat if people get fired over their vaccine status. HOWEVER neither your nor my beliefs on this topic change the fact that the vaccine works and is VITAL to keeping our health system from collapsing, and you really should be choosing to get it on your own based on the available data regardless of what your boss is saying. Please don't refuse to get the vaccine just to "send a message" or take a stand against your boss or whoever, because I promise you they will fire you without a second thought, and the only person you are sending a message to is that little grandma we talked about earlier who needs intubated but can't find a free vent or ICU bed, so dies in the emergency room while unvaccinated people take up all the space in the hospital.

5. In Summary

There are risks associated with COVID-19 vaccination, as with any vaccine or medicine, but they are remarkably, remarkably low. The potential benefits of vaccination are significant, with a decreased risk of infection, hospitalization, and severe disease among those who are vaccinated. This benefit extends to the community as well, in that it means you are less likely to catch (and therefore spread) COVID-19, increase the rate of herd immunity in your area which protects everyone (especially the medically vulnerable), and reduces preventable, unnecessary COVID-19 admissions that are weighing down the health system and clogging up hospital beds. If you look at this purely from a risk-benefit standpoint there is no mathematical reason not to favor getting the vaccine, and I strongly urge everyone who can safely do so to schedule it.

I suppose my take-away statement is this: I am a physician. If you are willing to trust my advice when you show up to the hospital in respiratory distress, trust my advice now in trying to prevent you from getting to that point.

Please.

#covid-19 #pandemic #covid vaccine #covid-19 vaccination #medblr #medical #population health #preventative medicine

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dukeofonions · 4 years ago

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Season Two Episode Ranking

Warning: I get very, very, very, critical in this ranking. Like, angry ranting that’s almost laughable. Should I be getting this worked up over an online series? Eh, probably not. But this is my life and I’ll get outrageously angry over whatever media I want.

Seriously though, this is all just my personal opinion. I’m not saying you have to agree with me and if you like the episodes that I don’t then that’s perfectly fine.

I tend to overthink things a lot and I spend most of my time analyzing every little details of this series because what else am I supposed to do at work?

So yeah, this ranking is definitely less positive than the one I did for the first season. But I hope y’all can still have some fun going over it! And if anyone does their own rankings be sure to tag me because I’d love to see them and see how mine compare!

Anyways, enough of me acting like this is more important than it is, on with the ranking!

I can’t believe season two only has 12 episodes. Now I went ahead and counted Moving On as one episode in this ranking since my opinions on both parts are pretty similar, but sweet cheese and fish this season started on September 1st, 2017 with Fitting in and right now is left on Putting Others First which came out on May 1st, 2020. And as of me writing this it is now May 2nd, 2021. It’s been a whole year since the last episode and we still have no idea when the finale is coming.

Like, bruh.

Also remember how the longest episode in season one was only about 15 minutes long and the shortest one was barely four minutes?

Well the shortest episode in season two is Crofters- The Musical which is 8:42 seconds. The longest episode is Putting Others First which is a whopping 51:09.

And I wish I could say that the writing was on the same level it was in the first season, but there’s a reason I put that warning up there.

Well, enough stalling, let’s get this ball rolling.

#11 Embarrassing Phases

There are no words in the English language that can describe the sheer amount of hatred I have for this episode. If I could rank this any lower, I would, which will happen once we finally get the season finale. I don't know how that episode will go but it'll definitely be better than whatever dumpster fire this was.

Like, okay. I have some positives. Roman, Patton, and Virgil's costumes were cool. I won't lie I live for vampire Virgil. And the message about embracing your past "phases" and exploring how they helped made you who you are. That's neat. I like that.

And that's it.

My biggest gripe with this episode is Virgil. He just acts like a complete bitch in this! And I don't mean that in an endearing way he's literally so mean for no reason!

He's all "You guys are trivializing my past!"

In response to them going "Hey Virgil, we're glad you're part of our group now and are proud of how far you've come!"

Like okay, even if it was insensitive to call it a "phase" literally there was no reason for him to get as angry as he did.

Just a simple; "Hey, I don't like it when you refer to what I went through as a phase because it feels like you're not talking it seriously."

Isnt that what this whole show is about? Communication???

It wasn't fun watching him just insulting the others, it was annoying!

Like poor Patton, just trying to help and be encouraging, only for Virgil to keep treating him like dirt.

What did I miss here? Virgil was fine in the last few episodes, so what the heck happened?

Oh and let's not forget the great advice Thomas offers Patton at the end of the episode in regards to handling Virgil: "Don't do anything to get on his bad side or else he'll do bad things to you!"

Okay I'm paraphrasing here but that's basically what he says! And since Virgil is supposed to be a representation of anxiety, this is a horrible message!!!

What happened to finding healthy ways to cope with your anxiety? What happened to keeping it in check so it didn't take over your life?

Yeah I'm definitely gonna make a full post about this one episode later because there's a whole lot more to unpack here. But yeah -10/10

#10 Putting Others First

There is just way too much going on with this episode. They try cramming so much in here that I don't even remember more than half of it.

I remember the opening song, then the Lilypadton fight and everything that happens from there. That's it.

And those are the best parts of this episode, but even that has problems because everything with Janus feels like a completely different episode.

Also the whole way they try to teach about morality is all over the place. How did we go from choosing a wedding over a callback to deciding whether or not you would die for your friends to self care is important?

And while the video game sequences, while utilized well in some places, were way too distracting and it felt like they were just trying to shove as many video game references in as they could.

You could take out just about all of them and the episode wouldn't change. Everything they were used for could have been done just through having the characters talk to each other, and knowing this makes the fact that this video was delayed for so long because of it just makes the whole thing worse.

Like the animations were well done, and I don't want to downplay the hard work the animator did. They were just doing their job after all.

But the trolley scenes (especially the second one) hurt my eyes with all the flashing (would have been nice to have some kind of warning for that) and some of the voice effects (especially on Logan's) were grating and distracting.

I want to rank this episode higher, but it has almost zero rewatch ability and honestly besides the ending, when I first watched this episode I was just kinda let down.

#9 Crofters- The Musical

Okay look, the song is a bop and I adore the fact that Logan and Roman got two episodes in the spotlight, but it's just kinda "meh" to me. Plus I get just a tinge of second hand embarrassment but that's just me.

And I know this is kinda unfair but another reason why this one isn't higher is because of a couple of things. One is that they set up some angst for Roman, he's clearly not doing well and Thomas thinks the best thing to do is tell him that he might get his own jam flavor.

Then he does, and instead of following up on that little plot point from this video, they just rushed out a commercial and completely ignored and potential story telling or character development for Roman.

So yeah "Return of the Jam" is the main reason why I don't like this one as much as I used to. And I actually just got an idea for a new post comparing these two so add that to my to-do list.

#8 Fitting In

I actually skipped this one during my first official watch through for one reason and one reason alone: I wasn't allowed to watch Harry Potter.

But I realized that my parents wouldn't approve of me of watching a gay man's content either so I just said screw it.

And luckily I understood enough Harry Potter references to get what they were talking about and honestly, this episode is a lot of fun.

It's a good follow up to Accepting Anxiety, and a nice way to kick off season two. Virgil is finding his place among the group and everyone is trying their best to make him feel welcome, it's really sweet.

And of course we get the new costumes (which i hadn't even noticed that they were wearing their old costumes at first) and I dunno it just gives off season one vibes and it makes me happy.

#7 Moving On Part One/Moving On Part Two

Yeah honestly my thoughts on both parts of this episode are the same. What can I say? It's really good.

This definitely one of the more emotionally heavy episodes in the series, and we see the characters at their lowest for really, the first time in this series.

I adore Patton's room and how each side gets their own corners. All the little details they add in, including the changing picture in the background, it really gives off that nostalgia feel they were going for.

What I love most about this episode is how (unlike some other episodes) they actually let the emotional moments sink in and don't throw in a joke immediately after. Like the ending is bittersweet, sad almost, and I love that they stuck with the mood up until the episode ended.

Not to say there weren't some jokes here and there (mostly in the first part) but once the mood shifts and things become more serious they let that mood stay. And when there are jokes they all work really well.

This is one episode I've actually watched the least out of season two, so it'll be interesting when I go watch it again to see if any of this holds up.

#6 Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?

Honestly I only put this one above Moving On because Logan and Roman are my favorites.

This episode is actually one of the weaker ones, which hurts to say because again, favorite characters, but goodness it's all over the place. It feels like a precursor to POF and not in a good way.

Logan and Roman just basically argue back and forth throughout the whole episode, never seeing eye to eye with each other, to the point where I think think the writers realized they couldn't find a way to get these two to agree so they just had Thomas step in and be like, "You guys make a really good team!"

Dude, were you even paying attention? They never even reached a conclusion on their own. And even though they have their little moment at the end, it's all kinda ruined when nothing in their relationship changes.

Yes, in Learning New Things About Ourselves, they acknowledge that there's more work to be done in regards to them, which makes sense. People aren't going to suddenly change overnight.

Yet despite having come to some kind of understanding with each other twice now (both here and LNTAO) in the following episodes they still act like they hate each other! Heck Roman is downright nasty to him for seemingly no reason and I don't really blame him for it.

More like I think the writers just don't know how to develop their relationship and just aren't as interested in them as the others. Logan's been reduced to being Mr. Exposition and apparently Roman's personal issues aren't enough for him to carry a room episode on his own because they felt the need to introduce two new characters before he finally gets it.

Sorry, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the episode.

There's some funny bits here and there and the little animations are cute (even if unnecessary) but really it's only saving grace is being Roman and Logan centered.

Even though they felt the need to include a cameo from literally every other character because apparently no one has any faith that Logan and Roman can carry an episode on their own.

#5 The Sanders Sides 12 Days of Christmas

This episode is just pure fun. Look, I'm not a big fan of Christmas, even less of a fan of Christmas songs, but my gosh this episode almost makes me appreciate the season.

The way they're all just bickering the whole time, being very confused, and how there's just so much personality from each character even when they're not talking/singing and just being in the background is *chef's kiss* perfect.

There's so many fun little details to pick out during the song and it's fun to go back and watch how each side reacts to different things.

#4 Selfishness vs Selflessness

Gonna be real, this used to be my favorite episode. Until my overly critical brain started finding all kinds of problems in the writing department but I think I’ve been negative enough on this post so I’ll save it for another time.

Janus steals the show in this one, it’s his first official appearance since his debut and he just soaks up the spotlight. It’s refreshing to have an antagonist in the show again, and he’s the perfect foil for each of the original Sides.

He knows how to play into Roman’s insecurities, know how to feed into his ego and get him on his side. He’s in direct opposition to Patton, who believes that everything Janus represents is wrong. He’s able to silence Logan and take him out of the conversation, speaking over him most of the time.

And I guess he and Virgil have some beef I dunno.

The courtroom scenario is fun, and I love how Janus is the only one who sees how ridiculous it is (even though it was your idea in the first place, Jan) and everyone else seeing it as perfectly normal is hilarious.

I do like some of the more dramatic moments in this episode, especially that final bit with Janus questioning Thomas until he finally gets him to admit the truth. It was intense and reminded me of the scene where Janus confronts Roman in a similar manner.

While far from perfect this is still a good episode and I can find a lot to love about it, like Janus in a suit.

#3 Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts

This episode scared the shit out of me and I loved it.

Okay it didn’t actually scare me. But I stayed up to wait for it to be posted, which wasn’t until 2 or 3 in the morning. So by the time I finally watched it I was half awake and not expecting anything that I witnessed.

The result was me being terrified of Thomas with a mustache and it prevented me from sleeping. I was over it the next day though and had Forbidden Fruit stuck in my head all day. Which isn’t good when you’re running the register at work and you can’t stop singing it.

There’s a lot of reason why I love this episode, Remus being the primary thing. His entrance is iconic, the first few notes from his theme play as he creeps up behind the TV, him smiling at Roman all creepily until he whacks him over the head and knocks him out for most of the episode.

Then we get the song, Forbidden Fruit, which is just great. Slight secondhand embarrassment but seeing the finished product and all they put into it, I can’t help but love it.

Still miffed that Janus hasn’t gotten a song... specifically a villain song... I won’t ever let that go...

Logan is another highlight in this episode (no surprise) and seeing him go head-to-head against his polar opposite without batting an eye was interesting since I was kinda expecting them to show Logan having trouble dealing with Remus but nope. He handled it like a champ and I love them both.

Now I am kinda wary as to how they’re going to handle Remus in the future, especially with the intrusive thoughts aspect. It’s a sensitive topic and they’re already screwing up anxiety. But Remus has only been in one episode so far which means I can’t make any solid judgments until he’s appeared in more episodes, so I’ll have to wait and see.

All in all, great episode! Definitely deserves to be in my top three.

#2 Learning New Things About Ourselves

This episode made me feel so nostalgic. I freaking love puppets and grew up with Sesame Street and the Muppets, so I’m probably biased towards this episode but to me this is really one of the better written episodes.

Perfect? Heck no. But really, really good.

I love that we get to explore a bit more with Logan and Roman’s characters, in a lot of ways this is kind of a Logan episode which has him standing against the other Sides, and it’s really interesting to see just how different he is compared to the three of them and it could just be me but it seemed like he’s becoming more of an outsider and isn’t as close with the original four as he used to be, and this episode is what really kicks that idea off.

I can also relate to the “Well that’s nice but what do you do for a living?” message, except in my case it’s more like I want to quit my “real job” to pursue what I’m passionate about while people tell me it’ll probably never happen or “Yeah that’s a nice hobby!” So this episode really struck close to home and I just have a lot of sentimental feelings towards this one.

I love all of the designs for the puppets, they all just fit perfectly and I wouldn’t mind seeing them make a comeback one day. I know that’d be difficult since they’d need a professional to puppet them but hey, one can dream right?

And oh my gosh the song, it just gives off the same feel from Sesame Street and Muppet songs with it’s jazzy feel. And I won’t lie I flipped my lid when Logan and Thomas were in the same shot together. We hadn’t seen any of the Sides share the screen with Thomas yet and the fact that it was Logan, and he was arguing with Thomas and they were singing over each other? Ah I love it!

Also don’t get me started on how Logan’s bit in the song sounds more villainous than the others. I’m not saying anything just a neat little observation.

I have a lot of happy feelings attached to this episode, so despite the few problems I have with it I could never bring myself to hate it. The only one that tops it is...

#1 Can Lying Be Good?

The episode that started it all. The one that caught my attention and sparked my new fixation on this little series that I had just glossed over before.

I really don’t know what prompted me to watch this episode, other than I wasn’t in the best place and it just happened to pop into my recommendations one day and I figured, “Huh, haven’t watched this guy for awhile. Let’s see what he’s been up to.”

Once the episode was finished my first thought was “Holy shit when did this series start having lore?!”

This episode is probably the closest thing to perfect out of all the season two episodes so far. The writing is clever, pretty much all of the jokes land, and oh my gosh the editing in this one is phenomenal.

The way they show Roman shifting between himself and Joan throughout the episode is what sticks out the most. Having Roman’s voice coming from Joan, or having them briefly change back to Roman, I love it so much.

Not to mention Thomas’s ever changing shirt that reflects what he’s thinking/feeling is a neat little detail.

Did I mention this episode is hilarious? The ridiculousness of each scenario that they act out, with all the little inputs from Logan and Virgil who are both trying their best to do their jobs besides not even wanting to be part of it in the first place is adorable.

And of course, the man of the hour, Deceit. Or Janus as we now know him as.

Is it weird that I like Deceit more as a name? Probably, but that’s just because I don’t like how early his name was revealed.

Okay that was my last negative comment. Promise.

Now since I hadn’t watched Sanders Sides in a while I didn’t notice anything off about “Patton” during my first watch. But going back after seeing the rest of the series helped me catch all the little hints they added to clue in the audience that something wasn’t right.

A lot of it is really subtle, mostly in the acting department, but once you’ve caught on to everything it makes you wonder how you didn’t notice the first time. You can even see Logan and Virgil throughout the episode, knowing that something is off with “Patton” but holding back their concerns until Virgil finally calls Deceit out.

I’ve rewatched Deceit’s reveal so many times. When he finally drops the act after Thomas makes up his mind not to lie, you can just tell he no longer cares whether Thomas knows or not. Then things get even more tense when Logan is silenced, and everyone knows what’s going on except Thomas.

The music starts to build up, Thomas is flipping out, then after Deceit taunts him again he finally demands to know what’s going on and BAM there he is!

I love everything about this.

Like, what else can I say? This episode is brilliant. It really shows exactly what this team is capable of when they’re at their best. The pacing, the build up, the writing, all of it combined together to make the perfect episode.

Season Two has been, interesting. The long waits have caused some problems with the pacing and characters, not to mention the departure of Joan from the writing team with new writers entering the room, not to mention the first welcome now unwelcome arrival of Asides, and with only the season finale left before season three, it makes me wonder just where this series is headed.

I know this series is capable of doing incredible things, season one is still solid and it really holds up even after all this time. But season two just feels like a jumbled mess. Sure, it’s easy to enjoy the episodes individually, but once you try to fit them all together it’s like trying to jam a puzzle piece into a place where it doesn’t fit.

The best way to describe this season is as an experimental season. Each episode has the team trying something new, sometimes it seems these gimmicks take precedence over the story itself. Of course, some of these can work to the episode’s advantage, while others are just distracting and you’d know you wouldn’t miss them if they were gone.

It’s a mixed bag that’s for sure. One that has me watching in morbid curiosity as I wait to see whether it’ll crash in the end or blow my expectations out of the water. It really is fun to analyze these episodes, and yes I know I can be very harsh but believe it or not this is how I engage with media that I love.

My hope is that team will learn from season two and try to take a more simple approach with their production once season three roles around. Because if they continue at the same pace they are now I doubt there will be many people around to see this series through.

And on that note, that was my ranking of season two! I’m actually kinda excited now to go back and rewatch everything, I hope I don’t have to wait much longer to do so but that all depends on when the season two finale comes. Whether it ends up exceeding my expectations or just being “meh” I know it’ll be interesting regardless and I can’t wait to see just how they plan on wrapping this all up before the final season arrives.

#dukeofrankings #dukeofcritical #this one post spawned so many future posts #i'm gonna be a busy onion

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jedihafren · 3 years ago

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Thoughts on Sylvie & Loki and Ep 4.

Just cutting this whole thing.

I keep seeing these takes on Twitter like 'Loki is a narcissist of course he fell in love with or got a crush on himself' and I feel like they're missing an underlying aspect of disordered Narcissism. Disordered narcissism presents as self-importance and entitlement. It wants to be the best in the room, etc. But that self-importance is built on a foundation of significantly depleted self-esteem. Narcissism has to present as the best in the room because it DOESN'T love itself, or believe itself worthy of love offered. It seeks affirmation constantly, because it doesn't entirely believe that it's earned. Because of this, it cannot create securely attached reciprocal relationships. We see disordered narcissism in Loki from the beginning. In Ep 2. Loki assumes the position of 'best variant'. He constantly tells the TVA minutemen that he's not like those other variants. He's the 'good variant'. When he finally comes face to face with Sylvie he is like: 'me, I presume'. It's all 'I'm going to do this thing and you can help me accomplish my goals'. You're the lower Loki, and I'm the higher one. Ep. 3, Loki accidentally sends them to the worst apocalypse, they bicker like children. He complains in both episode 2 & 3 as I recall, about her being annoying and irritating. But they have to work together, and as a part of that, they start revealing pieces of themselves to each other. Loki and Sylvie have some similarities in personality and interests, sure, but they have very different skill sets and experiences that have developed in different ways, and by the time they're sitting at the beginning of Ep. 4, waiting for the planet to end they've grown to respect each other. Enough so that Loki apologises to Sylvie for the mistake he made - and it's an authentic apology. Sure, it could be the most 'narcisistic thing ever to fall in love with himself', but I think that is a misunderstanding of disordered narcsism which would tend towards what we see in Episode 2 - what Mobius says he thought could be counted on, i.e. 'your desire to be the best Loki'. Narcissism needs to be the best in the room, even among the alternate selves, which is what we see early on between Loki and Sylvie. Loki with unhealthy narcisistic personality disorder must still be the best variant, the good variant, the one that has and executes the plan, and all of the oher variant selves are just there to serve him. There are healthier levels of narcisism though. And while I don't know where they're going with his and Sylvie's relationship longterm (it feels a little masturbatory to do a romance line here Marvel, but I guess stranger things have happened in the name of heteronormativity) but on one level, I'd argue that his genuine concern for, respect of, and yes, even love for Sylvie - is movement away from being a disfunctional narcissist that can check off most of the disordered traits in the DSM diagnosis list, to being one that can function in a healthy way. Loki flips back to playing disordered briefly upon return to the TVA, almost like a script: 'it's insulting that I don't have more security'; but it gets dismantled very quickly in the face of his genuine concern for both Sylvie AND for Mobius. Whatever the type of relationship or love he has with either - it's a genuine connection forged by learning to trust. So yes, maybe it is still the most Loki thing ever to have a crush on themself, but it also creates a very obvious narrative symbolism of Loki learning to accept, well Loki. Note that in episode 4 his definition of what a Loki 'is' even changes from what he gave in episode 3 that very much describes his specific presentation' to something that encompasses him AND Sylvie. Among some of the characteristics of healthy narcisism are self love and respect, authenticity, a solid sense of self-esteem and self-worth, all of which you can see reflected in the relationship with Sylvie, and frankly also with Mobius as they interact in the episode. To me it's clear, however you want to read the writer's intents with Sylvie or Mobius, Loki

has begun to display those characteristics, and begun to create reciprocal relationships with others. I'm NOT a therapist, so like, someone who understands narcissism better might take quibbles with this, but I feel like it's a misunderstanding what Narcisistic Personality Disorder is to say that it would present in him havng a crush on 'himself'. And it didn't occur to me immediately upon watching it last night, but this morning I was definitely thinking that Loki's ability to like, love, and respect Sylvie is also symbolic of his character's growth in this show thus far, as he's been learning to like, love, and respect himself.

#Loki Laufeyson #I am completely 100% stressed out about rl so I will ramble about fictional characters #loki spoilers #Loki (2021)#My Meta #I guess #Sylvie

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shyneanon · 4 years ago

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okay, okay, second time givng a prompt :

*US! Papy and a studying reader*

a friend of mine thinks about this for a long time now XD

Ahhhhh, I see. You’re asking for a friend. Sure.

I’m kidding. This was a really fun prompt, although I guess I changed it to US! Paps and a trying-to-study Reader. I hope you (and your friend) enjoy!

---

“Wow,” was all Papyrus could say as he turned the massive textbook over in his hands. “You’re going to go through all of this?”

You nodded. “Yep. And the first test is Monday.”

“Welp. RIP in pieces.”

He handed you the massive calculus book back and you flopped down on his couch. You’d mentioned the book to him already, but he hadn’t seen it. You’d decided not to take a photo-- he’d needed to see this in person. It was several inches thick.

There was no point in putting it off, you supposed. The test was Monday, and it was the first test. You had no idea what to expect. So you propped yourself up, leaning back against a small pillow, and started to read through the first section the class had gone through. You had already forgotten all of it.

You instantly started to fall asleep.

“What are you doing?”

“Huh? Sorry. I’m trying to study.” You lowered the book a bit to find that Papyrus was now sitting on the couch, leaning back. He raised a brow.

“Study?”

“Yeah.”

He gave you a mock glare, squinting. “You come into my house…”

“Apartment,” you corrected, albeit with a smile.

“C’mon,” he said, “don’t study here.”

“I have to.”

“OK, then let me help.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Wow,” he said, feigning offense. “OK then. Cool to see that you trust me so much.”

“OK,” you said, “you can help.” You looked at the book. “I’m not sure how, though, considering this is math. It isn’t really about memorizing facts.”

He thought a moment. “Mm… Are there new math terms or something? We could start like it’s vocab. Cuz like, what if they ask you to find something and you don’t even know what it is?”

That made sense. “Sure, we can start with that.” You flipped until you found a list of terms and handed them to Paps. “Give me the definitions first.”

“That’s easier though.”

“Yeah, I’m being lazy.” You smiled. “Like you.”

“Studying isn’t lazy,” he argued before giving you another smile. “But you’re trying, so I’m proud of you.”

You smiled. Dork.

He looked at the book, then made a point of clearing his throat.

Oh no.

“What,” he said, in a British accent, with a high-pitched voice that made him sound like an old woman, “is a function that gives the slope of a--”

You snorted and laughed a little. “Paps, stop.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, still in that ridiculous voice.

“I can’t focus if you’re making dumb voices!”

“Young lady, I will have you know that my voice is quite beautiful, and I do not take your insult lightly.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, still grinning. “Just give me the book back if you’re not actually gonna help me.”

His voice returning to normal, he said, “Nah, I don’t think I’m gonna do that.”

He stood up, and so did you. “Hey,” you said, “give me my book back.”

“Nope,” he said, heading for his kitchen. Oh no, what was he doing? You followed after him, but when you tried to grab at the book he just held it high above your head, far higher than you could reach. If you hadn’t already known that he wasn’t ticklish, you would have attempted to weaponize that, but that attempt would be all for naught.

When you arrived, he immediately started putting the book on top of the high cabinets. No, not in the cabinets. On top of them, in that space between them and the ceiling. He didn’t even need a stool for it, he was so tall. “No!” you cried. “I need that! I paid for that book!”

“Relax, you’ll get it back later.”

“But the test is Monday!”

“Yeah, and right now it’s Friday afternoon.”

“That’s only a few days.” You put your hands on your hips. “This is why I didn’t trust you to help me.”

“But you changed your mind.” He grinned smugly, raising his brows. “Your mistake.”

You pouted at him.

“Now you just look like my brother when he’s disappointed in me.”

The pout turned into a smile. That didn’t really surprise you; there was a reason that Sans liked the two of you hanging out so much.

“C’mon, let’s order pizza and watch a movie.”

You needed to be studying.

But that does sound nice…. And I am hungry….

Before you knew it the two of you were on the couch again, this time eating pizza and watching a cheesy rom-com instead of studying, like you were supposed to….

“Watch this,” he said. “He’s going to tell her that he likes her because she’s literally the only woman who’s ever rejected him.”

Sure enough, the love interest said, “You are the only girl who doesn’t fall at my feet.”

“Narcissist alert,” you said, raising your eyebrows.

“I know, right? It’s frustrating.”

“How often do you watch these kinds of movies?”

“Um… I have the right to remain silent.”

You laughed, then realized something. “OK,” you said, “wait.”

“Yeah?”

“So if that’s why he likes her, then once she kisses him, or has sex with him, or whatever… isn’t that it? Like congrats, you got your conquest in. Right?”

“... Huh. I never thought of that. Good point. I always assumed it was that he likes the girl’s stubbornness?” He winked at you. “He’d probably like you, Ms. I-Have-To-Put-Your-Math-Book-In-An-Unreachable-Spot-To-Get-You-To-Hang-Out-With-Me.” He paused, then said, “That was a mouthful.”

“Well, I will pass,” you said. “He seems like a jerk.”

“Wow, girls like guys who are nice? Who knew?”

You laughed, then smiled at him. “I’m surprised you don’t have a lot of girls after you. You’re really nice, and you’re fun.” Seriously, he was… great boyfriend material…. You coughed a little.

“Well, even if I did, there’s only one girl I’m really interested in.”

Whaaaat? “Ooooooh?” you said, looking over at him with a grin. “You like someone? Who?”

He just looked back at you, raising a brow.

Your face got very hot very fast.

“Wait,” you said quietly, “m… me?”

You saw his face turn orange. “Yup.” He made small jazz hands. “Surpriiiise.”

A giggle escaped you, and he grinned.

“Are you really surprised? I thought it was obvious.”

You shrugged. “I just… wouldn’t expect you to like me.”

He blinked, his smile faltering. “What? Why not?”

“I dunno, I’m not super chill all the time, like you.”

“Well yeah….” He grinned again. “But I’m not sure if dating someone as lazy as me would be a good idea. I like that we’re different.”

Your face got hotter at the mention of dating. What he was saying did make sense. “I like it too.”

He didn’t say anything. Not sure what else to do, you avoided eye contact. You didn’t want to look stupid. Did this mean you were dating now? He hadn’t asked. But neither had you. Should you ask? But then if he thought you were that might seem dumb. And if he didn’t think you were, it would be a weird way of--

You started as you felt his teeth tentatively pressing against your lips. Not wanting him to think your flinch was a negative response, you quickly kissed back-- albeit a bit harder than necessary.

He chuckled, looking surprised and amused. “Wow, I didn’t expect you to get that excited.”

You shoved him lightly, smiling. This time, when he brushed some hair out of your face and cupped your cheek, you leaned in with him so that your lips met in the middle. You hummed softly, and so did he. Testing the waters, you started to wrap your arms around him, and he responded by returning the gesture. You lay your head on his ribcage.

“Welp,” he said, “this was a way better reaction than I was expecting.”

“Did you expect me to slap you or something?”

“No, I was just worried I was gonna make things weird between us. Like you were gonna be like ‘Whaaat no you’re like a brother to me but we can still be friends, but now I feel super weird.’” He shrugged. “Sometimes I think me being chill has an adverse effect. Makes me seem like a sibling or something.”

You snorted. “Says the guy with the sibling who’s always worrying about him.”

“Y’know, that’s a good point.” You could hear the grin in his voice.

Then you felt his teeth press against the top of your head and blushed.

“So,” he said, “are we… are we dating now, or…?”

You snickered. “I was wondering the same thing, to be honest.”

He laughed a little.

Right, you still hadn’t answered.

“Um… I’d say yes.”

“Cool,” he said. “I say yes too.”

Both of you snorted.

“Man,” he said, “we’re dorks.”

“We are,” you agreed.

“You’re a cute dork though.”

Hah… Your face was warm now. “You’re cute too.” You looked up at him and pretended not to notice his blush. “Y’know, I would still be mad at you about you taking my book, but… now we’re dating, so I’m not annoyed at you anymore.”

“Nice, I bailed myself out.”

You giggled again, and he gave you another kiss, this time on the cheek.

“C’mon. Let’s take a nap together.”

Together. You felt warm and fuzzy inside.

“OK,” you said.

#It was good practice writing Stretch too #Since I don't write him often #And I've got that longer harem fic going #fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #papyrus x reader #self insert #underswap papyrus #us papyrus #prompt

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b0n-chann · 4 years ago

Text

Ad’ika // Chapter 2

Protector

Warnings: none

Summary: Din, after learning that he’s going to be a father, attempts to adjust to his new role.

Din Djarin has always been a protector, but ever since he’s learned about your pregnancy, he’s been down right overbearing.

Din is like an extension of yourself, a shadow that hovers, always looming over you. And while you love him dearly, it’s absolutely suffocating. In fact, it’s about the sixth time that morning he’s almost run into you as you walk through the market for supplies. The nearly empty market, because Din woke you up at dawn and just about demanded you go early to avoid the crowd.

You look behind your shoulder, trying to be patient. You are unsure, however, if it’s the pregnancy or the metal man wearing you thin.

“Can you stop that?” You snap. Din places his hands up in front of him, a weak attempt at an apology. You give him a huff and continue down your way, looking for the garment vendor you normally frequent here.

“Ah, hello, Miss!” A pleasant voice calls out to you and you smile. Ellie has always been kind to you, putting away things that she thinks you may like. “And your Mandalorian is here too, I see.” She offers you both a sweet smile.

“Hi, Ellie,” you greet in return, your mood lifting as you wander over to her stall. “How have you been?”

“Oh same as always, honey,” she replies. The older woman glances over you briefly before looking at Din standing closely behind you, his hand at the small of your back. “I have something I think you’d like!” Ellie exclaims as she turns to look for the scarf she saved for you from a previous shipment. She yelps in surprise when she turns back around, a blaster in her face.

“Mando!” You yell, placing your hand on his arm in an attempt to temper him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“How do you know we can trust her?” His voice hard and cold, a voice you haven’t heard since you first met him.

“You’re being ridiculous, Ellie is a friend!” Your grip tightens on Din’s arm. A warning for him to back down. Din lowers his aim but does not holster his blaster.

Ellie looks between the two of you and let’s out a light laugh. “My, my. Your Mandalorian is as protective as ever.” She shakes her head as she brings the brilliant burgundy scarf to the counter, as if she wasn’t just at the receiving end of a Mandalorian’s weapon. The woman is unwavering.

“I’m sorry about that,” you sigh. You admire the fabric in front of you, rich in color and silky to touch. “Oh this is beautiful.” The old woman did always have an eye for quality.

“It’s quite alright,” she says. “I remember when I was carrying my firstborn, too. My husband never left me alone.” She gives the both of you a knowing look.

“How did you know?” You ask in surprise.

“Call it a woman’s intuition, but you’re positively glowing, my dear!” She replies before she lets out a chuckle. “That, and Mando hasn’t let you leave his sight. Even more so than usual.”

Heat rises to your cheeks at her observation. “We are expecting,” you whisper to her, not exactly sure why you dropped your voice but you felt like it was too soon for other people to know.

“You’re going to be a wonderful mother,” Ellie remarks with a smile. “You already are! Where is your little one?” Right on cue, the child pops up from the bag you’ve been carrying him in.

“Hi, baby!” Ellie waves at the child as he babbles and waves his small hand back to her. “Such a sweet thing, and looking bigger than last time!”

“He is growing,” you tell the older lady. “Eating more and more every day too.” You bounce the child up a little higher for Ellie to take a look. She reaches over the counter to place her hand on his head but before she can get to close an armored body puts himself between you.

“That’s enough,” he says as he crowds you and the baby further behind him. Ellie shakes her head and laughs before you can chastise him.

“Oh don’t worry, I understand. Just make sure these get to them okay?” She folds up the scarf she had showed you earlier and placed a stuffed toy on top. “A present for the good news. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to celebrate anything.”

“Ellie...” you start, trying to pull out credits to pay her. She raises her hand to stop you.

“Please, dear, it’s fine. Save it for your growing family.” She hands the items over to Din before giving him a pointed look. “Now I expect you to treat her like the princess she is, okay? One bad word about you and I’ll have to teach you a lesson.” She shakes a pointed finger at him.

“Uh...yeah. Of course, okay.” Din manages to rattle out and you can’t tell if he’s nervous or embarrassed.

“We’ll see you soon and thank you for everything!” You call out to the woman as you tug Din’s hand to pull him away.

You place your arm in his as you walk down the market, looking for any last minute wares you may need before returning to the ship.

“You are in so much trouble when we get back,” you tell him through gritted teeth, sending a saccharine smile here and there to other vendors you have befriended over the past months. Din says nothing back in reply, but you can hear something that sounds an awful like a nervous gulp behind his helmet.

You make it back to the Crest late in the morning and Din seems to drag his feet more and more the closer the ship comes into view. He practically crawls up the ramp as you wait for him in the entrance bay.

“Well?” You ask him with a raised eyebrow, knowing you don’t have to explain your question. Din rubs the back of his neck nervously.

“Well, you see...” he starts, not entirely sure what to say. He’s overprotective by nature and he can’t help himself. Not when it comes to protecting you and the kid. And now that he knows your pregnant with his child it has become even worse. He’d keep you locked up in this ship if he could but he knows you’d probably try to light him on fire if he did.

You sigh, knowing you won’t get a response. Din hasn’t let you out of his sight since you told him the news. Just the other day, you accidentally cut your finger preparing a meal for the child and Din nearly had a meltdown. He forced you to lay down for the rest of the day and anything sharp and possibly dangerous to you was stowed away. You had indulged him then because he was such a mess of nerves. But you know now though that Din will probably send himself to an early grave if he keeps this up.

“Hey,” you say as you take a seat on a turned over crate putting the child next to you. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” Your voice now soft, the anger from earlier having disappeared.

Din takes a deep breath, willing himself to share his fears. “I’m...scared,” he says honestly after some time. The look on your face must tell him something because he is quick to add to his words. “Not of being a father, Mesh’la. You have given me something I never thought I could have and I am forever in your debt for it. I’m scared of losing you. Of losing all three of you. I...my parents...” Din starts, trying to form a coherent thought but the lump in his throat only grows bigger; making it more and more difficult to grasp at words.

Realization dawns on your face and you get out of your seat to wrap your arms around him. His parents. While you know he considers his Mandalorian tribe as a family, the way he lost his parents was traumatic, to say the least. You understand now his need to protect.

“Shh,” you soothe and you feel him slump against you as you press him to you. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“You have so many other things to worry about, I didn’t want to add to the list,” he admits. He places his head lightly on top of yours as he heaves a great sigh. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”

“Din, we’re going to be fine. I’m pregnant, not injured or invalid. I’m still just as capable as before,” you argue.

“You deserve to be waited on hand and foot; not living on a ship, jumping from planet to planet. Not having to worry about when our next pay day is or if our lives are in danger. I feel like I’m failing you and our children.”

“Din Djarin, you absolutely are not. You have to trust me when I tell you I’m happy. So happy. I know we’re not exactly leading conventional lives right now but who cares? I’ve got you, the kid, and with another one on the way...isn’t that enough?” Tears prick your eyes and you try to blink them away. Damn hormones.

Din wipes them away quickly. “It’s more than enough, beautiful,” he murmurs softly. Carefully he places a hand on your stomach; still not showing to the world, but you both know. Not to be forgotten, the child walks up to the both of you and attempts to crawl up Din’s leg, a new tactic he’s learned to get your attention. Din laughs as he picks up the child and tucks him in his arm.

“Want to feel ad’ika, too, kid?” Din allows the child to lean forward and he places a small green hand atop his father’s. He coos happily before blinking up at you both in wonder and time seems to stop for a moment.

“What the...” you start. “Did you feel that too?” You ask Din in amazement. He can only nod back to you in response. You look down at the child, his small hand still on Din’s. “Did you do that, little thing?” You ask him and he babbles and smiles in response.

For a moment, when the child connected himself with the both of you, a sense of calm and happiness filled the entire ship. It was so fleeting it was almost missed, but it was definitely there. You place your hand over theirs and smile.

“He’s happy and knows he’s very loved already,” you tell him and Din visibly relaxes as he fully takes in the moment.

“He?” Din questions.

“He.” You affirm. “You already let the kid get away with everything, I can’t even imagine how bad you’ll be with a daughter.” You crack a smile, imagining a small girl with Din wrapped around her tiny finger.

“I do not,” he scoffs but you can tell he’s smiling under his helmet. He pulls you closer again, wrapping his arms around you and the child, still in awe at how lucky he is.

If he had been told when he first became a bounty hunter that this was his future he would have never believed it. He still doesn’t sometimes, when nightmares of the past wake him in such a cold sweat that he almost forgets where he is. It’s on those nights he reaches out for you, to make sure you’re real. But those nights have been coming farther and fewer in between. Another thing to add to the long list of reasons to thank you for.

Your sweet laugh brings him back to the present, and a sense of calm washes over him again.

“Don’t worry, you big softie, your secret is safe with me.”

Tag list:

@momc95 @electricprincess888 @maia-hocane @lamnothome @highonsoundwaves @tedpicklez @renreypoe @mabelleen @cryptkeepersoul @holamor @mando-vibes @lustriix @katialvi @spookyold-saintjm @sarcasm-n-insomnia @awesomefandomsunited @sentimental-ghost @mrsparknuts @oloreaa @sunkissed-winter @tiffdawg @keeper0fthestars @randomness501 @synystersilenceinblacknwhite

Please let me know if you’d like to be added/removed from the tag list!

#the mandalorian #din djarin #star wars #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian x reader #ad’ika #din djarin imagine #star wars fanfiction #star wars imagine

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longitudinalwaveme · 4 years ago

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Nitpicking Articles About Flash Rogues

Here’s some mistakes I found in Internet articles about the Rogues.

Article #1:

1. The Rogues did not make their first appearance in Flash #130.

It’s an understandable mistake, given that five of them are on the cover, but really the only Rogue to do anything of note was the Mirror Master. The other Rogues’ appearances were just Mirror Master’s lawyer (whom he hypnotized) impersonating them. Their actual first appearance as a group was Flash #155.

2. This one is really minor, but it’s Heat Wave, not Heatwave.

3. I think it’s a bit misleading to say that Captain Cold is the most powerful of the Rogues. He is powerful, no doubt, but Mirror Master and Weather Wizard have a considerably broader and more versatile range of powers than he does. Pied Piper and the Top are probably also more powerful than he is.

4. This is another minor mistake, but the party in Flash Vol.2 #19 was celebrating Captain Cold’s release from the Suicide Squad, not really his retirement.

Article #2:

1. I wouldn’t describe the Rainbow Raider as the least powerful of the Rogues. He’s a bit of a doofus, but his ability to manipulate both light and emotions is quite impressive and would be an extremely potent weapon in the hands of someone other than Roy. By the logic this list is using, Weather Wizard should be much lower on the list than he is. While he uses his powers more effectively than Roy usually does, he doesn’t use his powers to nearly the extent that he could if he put more effort into them.

2. There is NO WAY that Roscoe should be listed as the second least powerful Rogue. He’s not just a master inventor who created an atomic bomb all by himself, he’s a telekinetic telepath with super speed who can also return from the dead via possession. Surely he should at least crack the top ten.

3. Being a contortionist is impressive. Not sure how it makes Ragdoll more powerful than Roy or Roscoe, though.

4. Golden Glider is confusing; I’d accept her being ranked fairly low in terms of raw power if we were just looking at her Pre-Flashpoint self. But since the picture of her is from the New 52, when she gained the power of astral projection. With that power, she seems like she should be a bit higher on the list than #17.

5. “Still, she makes the list for being an iconic villain who, when partnered with her protective older brother, turned out to be fairly competent all things considered.” Lisa was competent all on her own, thank you very much.

6. Considering Piper has canonically blown up a planet with his flute, #16 seems quite low. Even if we disregard that feat because it was from Countdown, he’s still pulled off some really impressive feats that makes me feel like he should be a lot further up the list.

7. “His powers are pretty insane considering their potential for assassinations and surprise attacks, but he ranks fairly low on the list because he can’t really stay a villain long enough to be effective.” This list isn’t ranking the most dangerous villains, just the most powerful ones. Reforming doesn’t make him less powerful!

8. I really like James, and his inventing prowess shouldn’t be understated. That being said, there is NO WAY he’s more powerful than post-Flashpoint Lisa, Hartley, or Roscoe. He’s probably not even as powerful as Roy!

9. “After being tricked into helping the demon Neron and smooth talking his way out of hell, the Trickster fully succumbed to psychosis, becoming a goofy, rambling personality, accentuated by being brainwashed by the Top.” ????? When did this happen? What are you talking about, article?

10. “After getting his nose broken three times in the course of a day by Batwoman, Deathstroke, and Batman, Trickster sacrificed himself to save Piper. And how did Piper thank him? By dragging his body through the desert before finally cutting the hand off his corpse.” What was Piper supposed to do? He was on the run from people who wanted to kill him and he almost died!

11. #14 seems like an appropriate slot for Cicada, all things considered. I’m still pretty sure he’s not more powerful than Roscoe or Piper, though.

12. Double Down should not be higher on the list than Roscoe or Roy or Piper (or Trickster or Lisa or Cicada, for that matter.)

13. Capt. Boomerang is a talented, skilled fighter. That being said, he is not more powerful than Roscoe. Or Piper. Or Roy. Or even James and Lisa, really.

14. Heat Wave as number 11 is fine. I still don’ t think he should be higher than Roscoe or Piper, though.

15. “Wow, the character Heat Wave has not aged well. So much so that the CW’s Arrowverse has actively kept the character from having any perceivable depth because the little intrigue there is to mine from him is from a bygone era best left in the past.” ???? Stop being mean to Mick, article. He’s a great character!

16. Magenta as #10 is fine. In fact, I would be okay with her being a little higher, all things considered.

17. “Long after breaking up with Wally West, Frankie Kane developed her magnetic powers quite suddenly and accidentally killed her entire family as a result. Understandably confused and terrified, she was quickly folded into Cicada’s cult where she became a lieutenant with the moniker, Magenta.” Frances’ powers developed before she even started dating Wally, let alone before she broke up with him. Also, it wasn’t like she immediately joined Cicada’s cult after Wally’s broke up with her. There was like a decade that passed between those two events, and Frances made several appearances in the intervening years. She also didn’t get her code name from Cicada.

18. WHY IS ABRA KADABRA ONLY AT #9????

19. “Originally debuting under the moniker of Mister Element, Albert Desmond adopted his better-known name after finding the legendary Philosopher’s Stone and gained the ability to transmute materials. The problem was that Albert Desmond wasn’t actually Doctor Alchemist and never was. Turns out the entire time he was a villain, it was as an alternate personality called Alvin Desmond, who is also his celestial, astral twin. And if the concept of a split-personality metahuman who can turn one substance into another with a fantastic macguffin sounds familiar, it’s because Doctor Alchemy is basically Firestorm except as a disheveled gremlin of a villain.Though that’s fairly impressive in its own right, but his true claim to fame actually comes from the CW Flash show, where he was played by Harry Potter’s Tom Felton and reimagined as psychic entity that remembered the Flashpoint timeline that Barry had accidentally created. His power was updated from simple transmutation to metaphysically crossing timestreams, allowing him to grant super human abilities to people who had them in Flashpoint, including the CW version of Wally West. Though he’s ultimately put down by a coalition of Flash’s crew, the ability to transcend time itself basically made him a veritable god. Pity only the CW could see the character’s potential for it.” No, article. Just no. First, CW Alchemy was considerably more boring than his comic counterpart. And he’s not Dr. Alchemist, he’s Dr. Alchemy! (That being said, Dr. Alchemy deserves to at least be at #8 on the list, so I don’t really have a problem with his ranking.) They also don’t describe the Albert/Alvin situation quite right, but that’s really confusing, so I can’t really blame them for that.

20. “Well part of it is that his main goal hasn’t changed much since his first appearance: to devolve humanity back into apes, no doubt a novelty in the early '60s, but kinda boring today. The other reason? Turns out that Grodd has failed in this endeavor at least 18 times, a failing record among Flash’s villains.” How many comics with Grodd in them has the writer of this article actually read? Because I can think of at least four storylines off the top of my head where Grodd has a goal other than turning people into gorillas. Also, the fact that he’s failed in his attempts to do this doesn’t make him any less powerful; Joker and Lex Luthor also fail in most of their schemes. It’s what comes of being a comic book villains. That being said, Grodd being #7 on the list is appropriate (although I might personally rank him a bit higher.)

21. Captain Cold is cool. I like him a lot. But even if we give him his New 52 ice powers, does he really deserve to be #6 on the list? Also, there’s no way he��s more powerful than Abra Kadabra, Dr. Alchemy, or Grodd. Or the Top.

22. No complaints with the Mirror Masters collectively sharing the #5 spot, or with Shade being at #4.

23. Weather Wizard is really powerful; him being in the #3 slot isn’t too inappropriate. Though I’m not sure if he’s really more powerful than Abra Kadabra (who should really have been much higher than #9).

24. Why is Godspeed specifically at #2? True, he’s a speedster, and speedsters are VERY powerful, but there are a number of other villains with super speed who I think are faster than he is. I also would argue that he might be less powerful than Abra Kadabra, Shade, the Weather Wizard, and the Mirror Masters, given that he’s not really all that experienced with his powers.

25. Eobard Thawne is really, really, REALLY powerful. I would argue that Abra Kadabra might be more powerful than he is, but otherwise he definitely outclasses the other villains on this list.

26. And where’s Hunter Zolomon, anyway? He should definitely be on this list, and no lower than #2.

#flash rogues #dc comics

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twomoonstwosuns · 4 years ago

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sick day.

back to you [series masterlist]

previous part · next part

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warnings: swearing, smut in a dream (18+), heavy amounts of fluff

word count: 4.0k

a/n: i’m sorry for the delay, it’s been a weird week. i hopefully won’t make you wait as long for the next part. this is kind of a filler chapter, but i hope you guys enjoy it still! the poe dameron x reader tag hasn’t been working so if you’re missing updates, blame Tumblr.

also thank you @dameronsgalaxygal for helping me when i was stuck <3

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“Baby, fuck you feel so good.”

Poe gripped your hips, sliding you to the edge of his desk and sliding his cock into you. The hand on the back of his neck tightened, grabbing some of his curls in its grasp at the intrusion. Your mouth was on the base of his neck, decorating it with different sized bruises. One particular bite to his pulse with a tight clench of your pussy made him groan loudly and you quickly pulled his mouth down to yours with a tug of his tie.

“Do we have to worry about you being loud?” You breathed heavily. Poe lifted your legs higher up on his waist, the new angle allowing him to drive deeper into you. A loud gasp left your lips as your eyes fluttered closed and a smirk crossed his face. He leaned down to your ear, taking the shell of hit in his mouth.

“You know what I’ve thought about?” He said lowly, his breath hot against your ear as he slowed his thrusts. You gave a quiet, strangled moan as a response as he bit down on it. “Taking my tie, tying you up. Completely at my mercy.”

His hand was on the side of your neck, his thumb slowly rubbing up and down the front of your throat. You were a trembling mess, the thought of him putting just a little more pressure there enough to make you come hard right on the spot.

“I could—fuck yes, Poe—get into that.” Poe’s mouth covered yours, swallowing the sounds coming from you. You giggled against his lips as an item fell off of his desk from the harsh movement against it.

A knock on his office door made you both freeze, horrified looks on your faces as you looked at each other and then at the door.

“Just a sec!” Poe yelled before dropping his voice to a whisper. “Get under my desk.”

You both scrambled as quietly as you could, pulling your pants up and fixing your shirts. You tucked yourself underneath his desk, feeling very grateful for the backing on the front of the desk. Poe tamed his hair the best he could as he unlocked his door and opened it, immediately greeting the person on the other side.

“Ackbar, how are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good, I just wanted to run something by you.” Ackbar said, nodding towards the door handle. “Who are you trying to keep out, Dameron?”

His tone was suggestive, but Poe shut it down with a shake of his head. “Some of my students like to barge in and hang out in here because of my very lenient open door policy and I have several phone calls I’m taking today. Including one in five minutes, so you have to make it quick.”

Ackbar left the door open as he sat down across from Poe’s desk. Poe sat back in his chair, scooting all the way in so his entire lower half was underneath the desk to shield you.

“So, what’s up?” Poe spoke, providing cover for the movement you were making under his desk to make room for his legs.

“What do you think about forgoing a final exam for anyone who’s averaging a C in the class?” Ackbar asked. “I mean, if they want to take the final to try and raise their overall grade they can, but if they fail it’ll count against them.”

Poe squirmed in his seat as he felt your hands on his thighs, rubbing slowly and traveling higher. His leg hit the underside of his desk when he felt the vibration of his zipper being slowly pulled down, which he told Ackbar was a muscle spasm.

“You’re teaching two hundred freshman over four lectures, you sure you want to do that?” Poe said slowly, the attempt to keep his voice level and controlled extremely difficult.

“It’s definitely less grading for me to do, but I was also thinking that—“

Everything Ackbar was saying was going in Poe’s ear and right out the other as the soft skin of your hand made contact with his cock, applying firm pressure and pumping him. He wasn’t entirely soft yet and a few strokes of your hand brought him back to fully hard. He coughed to cover the groan that almost erupted from him.

“Here’s my opinion,” Poe said, interrupting Ackbar, sucking in a breath as your thumb brushed over the head of his cock. “I’d do it for seniors but freshman? They’ll most likely take the easy way out and skip it. Don’t let them settle for mediocre grades. Not one of them will willingly take the final.”

“Alright, you’re right.” Ackbar put his hands up in surrender. Poe felt his cock start to tighten up, the thought of coming in your hand under the desk with Ackbar just a few feet away stoking a fire inside him. Instead, Poe felt you carefully tuck him back in his pants and skillfully disguised the deep groan he let out as one of agreement. “You catching the game later?”

“I’m going to try.” Poe looked at his watch. “Sorry man, I have to take a call in a minute.”

“No worries,” Ackbar stood up, Poe doing the same and straightening his shirt so it covered more of his groin area as he walked towards the door. “You wanna grab a beer at Maz’s later? Watch the game?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Ackbar shook Poe’s hand and patted him on the back. “Have fun with those calls. Take it easy, Dameron.”

As soon as the door shut and the lock clicked, Poe let out an exasperated laugh. You crawled out from under his desk laughing so hard that you had to lean against his desk to keep yourself from falling over. Poe came around to his desk again, laughing as he plopped back into his chair.

“I can’t believe you did that,” he said in disbelief, though the smile on his face said he wasn’t the least bit upset about it.

“Exhilarating though.” You leaned down and pecked his lips, your hands going back to his pants and unbuckling them for the second time as you got on your knees.

“Let me finish what I started.”

Poe woke with a jolt as a cough rocked through him, groaning at the congested pain it left behind in his chest. His eyes screwed shut and his groan grew louder at how turned on he felt at that moment, knowing he had no energy to take care of it and no energy to enjoy you taking care of it for him. Poe looked up just as you came in, a cup of water in one hand and a sleeve of crackers in the other. You set the items on his nightstand and sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing his back.

“You ok?”

“No,” he said, shoving his head into the pillow. “I was having a good dream about you.”

“Oh yeah?” Poe pushed his hips into the mattress, looking for relief. You stifled a laugh. “Oh, that kind of dream. Do you want me to help you out?”

“No, ‘m too tired.”

You leaned down to his ear, your voice lowering. “You know, I have those dreams about you too.”

Poe reached over and squeezed your thigh. “Y/N…”

“Baby…” you mocked his whine. Poe shivered and you saw goosebumps appear on his skin. You placed your hand against his forehead and then the cheek that wasn’t resting on the pillow. “You might have a fever, do you have a thermometer?”

“I don’t think so.”

You went into his bathroom and looked for anything that would help. You found some ibuprofen and you helped him sit up enough to swallow them. Pulling the blanket up around him, you leaned down and kissed his head.

“Sleep. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

You left the door opened a crack, enough to hear if he needed you and for Beebs to come and go as he pleased. He was already snoring by the time you got to his kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea.

You knew Poe wasn’t feeling great when you talked to him the night before and you were surprised when you got an email saying he was canceling class. In the two semesters worth of classes you’d had with him, he’d never canceled a class without notice. You skipped your last class of the day and went straight to Poe’s. He tried to argue with the very little energy he had that you didn’t have to skip class to take care of him, but the minute you got him to lay in bed, he was completely submissive.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket with an incoming call and you grabbed it to see it was Jessika calling.

“I’m at the grocery store, do you need anything?”

“Actually yeah, do you mind picking up some things to make soup and dropping them off at Poe’s? He’s sick and he has nothing here to help him feel better.”

“Yeah you bet, send me a text?”

“I will. I’ll send you his address too. Text me when you get here.”

“No problem, see you in a bit.”

You tossed your phone onto the table and grabbed your backpack, setting yourself up on his couch. You had a long list of things that needed to get done, midterms coming up quicker than you were prepared for. You also had to order your robe for graduation so you had time to get it hemmed if needed. But an assignment that was due the next day required your immediate attention. You opened your book and you’re notebook and dove right in.

Fifteen minutes later and you’d read the same paragraph four times. You alternated between staring at your book and tapping your pen against the page to staring to scrolling through apps on your phone. There was no motivation to do anything productive. What you really wanted to do was curl up with Poe under his blankets and just sleep, but you were already risking getting sick by being there and cuddling with him would pretty much guarantee it. Throwing your stuff aside, you walked over to the shelves that lined Poe’s living room, seeing if there was maybe a book he had that would be far more interesting than reading about marketing and trade shows. You looked through all the titles of his books, some maybe’s coming to your head when you spotted a picture frame stuck between a book and the back of the shelf. You carefully moved the book, grabbing the picture frame and wiping the dust off of the glass.

He looked just like her. Thick and curly raven-hair sat on top their heads. They shared the same eyes, deep brown like milk chocolate, though hers were just a bit lighter. Their smiles matched, easy and laidback like it took no effort at all. You recognized the ring on her finger as the one worn around Poe’s neck. In the picture, Poe was mid-laugh as his mother carried him on her back, his tiny arms wrapped around her neck and his head against hers. You felt a pang of guilt in your chest. The way Poe talked about her and seeing the picture that you found, they were clearly very close. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how devastated Poe must’ve been when she passed.

Poe had said he’d forgiven you for what you said, but you still hadn’t forgiven yourself. If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know if you’d be able to.

Your phone vibrated in your hand, the message telling you that Jessika had arrived. You told her the code to enter the building and a few minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

“Thank you so much for doing this,” you said as you opened the door, immediately taking the bag from your roommate.

“No problem at all.”

Jessika looked around behind you, her eyes curious. You chuckled and held the door open.

“Come on in.”

“Inside a professor’s apartment,” Jessika said as she stepped in. She looked around the room when Beebs came up and jumped on her. You tried to apologize and tell Beebs to stop but Jessika just leaned down and picked him up.

“Ah, the infamous Beebs,” she laughed as he licked her face. “You really are cute, aren’t you?”

You stepped into the kitchen and put a couple bottles of gatorade in the refrigerator, leaving out the ingredients to start making soup with and digging around the cupboards for the items you’d need to make it.

“So, what’s he sick with?” Jessika asked.

“A cold from what I can tell. He doesn’t have a thermometer so I don’t know if he has a fever.”

“How’s he doing?”

You sighed heavily. “Poe’s amazing and wonderful in many ways, but he is still a man who thinks he’s dying because he has a cold.”

“You hear that, Beebs?” Jessika said in Beebs’ pointed ear. “He’s got a man-cold. And they’re supposed to be the superior sex.”

“Yeah, supposed to be.”

Beebs wiggled in her arms and she let him down, watching him walk off. You watched Jessika laugh quietly at the adorable dog before looking back around the apartment, giving a small nod of approval.

“Hey Jess?” You spoke quietly, your voice hesitant and unsure. You walked over to Jessika, who had been looking at you with a questioning look. “I’m sorry.”

Jessika opened her mouth to speak and you put a hand up. “I’m sorry for being a bitch, for treating you like shit, and taking forever to forgive you. You said things and I said things and even though what you said hurt, it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person and I’ve been treating you like you were. And I’m really sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Jessika replied and you shook your head.

“Yes, I do.”

“Well, I forgive you then. Because I’ve missed you.”

Holding your arms out, Jessika met you in a tight hug. You really had missed her too. She had been there for you when she didn’t have to be, and thinking back you were surprised she was because you felt you had treated her like shit. Beebs jumping up on both your legs trying to be included in the hug tore you apart, Jessika leaning down and scratching his ears.

“When we’re done with school and all that and it’s fine for you guys to be in public together, I’d really love to sit down with Prof—Poe.” Jessika said, the use of his first name foreign on her tongue but the effort graciously appreciated by her friend. “You know, get to know him. As one of your best friends, it is my job to tell him that if he hurts you I’ll destroy him.”

You chuckled. “I’m sure we could arrange that if you really want to. I’ve met his friends, seems only fair that he gets to know mine.”

“Exactly!” Jessika said. “Alright, I have to get going. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, I have class a 7:45a.m and he needs to sleep, so I’ll be back later tonight.”

Jessika squeezed your shoulder as she passed and you thanked her once more before she left. You set to work, setting up everything you’d need and pulling up the recipe saved on your phone.

Chopping vegetables in your boyfriend’s kitchen was oddly domestic, like you were waiting for him to come home from work and you were cooking dinner. You wondered what you would be doing at that very moment had you not pursued your professor that Halloween night. Would you have given Ben another chance? Would you be in a relationship at all? You pondered the what if’s, yet each scenario couldn’t bring you to the level of happiness that was your reality. You really thought you had lost it all during that fight and you would never go another day without being grateful to Poe for forgiving you.

As you added all the ingredients together, your mind went to the dark place you tried so hard to push to the back of your mind. Graduation was just two months away. What was going to happen after your relationship graduated and the lease for your apartment was up and you moved back home? Poe certainly didn’t act like he would dump the relationship just because you were done with school, but you couldn’t help but think that way. You copped it up to having developed a small fear of abandonment, no doubt thanks to the sudden departure of your father.

Slow, heavy footsteps filled the empty silence as you adjusted the temperature on the cooker. Poe slid his arms around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder.

“You didn’t sleep very long,” you said.

“Can’t sleep anymore. Smells good,” Poe mumbled, leaning into you to see what was in the cooker. You gently bumped your head against his.

“I’m glad you can smell,” you said. “It’s my grandma’s recipe. My mom used to make it for Tallie and I when we were sick. It’s done now, eat some. You need to eat.”

You moved around each other, him scooping up soup and you grabbing him something to drink.

“Did I have all of this stuff?” Poe asked, looking at all the ingredients he could see in the soup as he walked to sit on the couch.

“No, Jessika dropped off stuff. You have nothing here,” you teased, taking a seat next to him. Your expression turned a little more serious. “She wants to sit down and talk with you, you know. Get to know you. When the school year’s over. If that’s ok with you.”

“I’d like that,” he said, taking in a spoonful of soup and groaning at how nice it felt against his sore throat. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

“I still have some secrets left,” you smirked. “I’m glad you’re feeling better enough to eat something. I was starting to worry a little bit.”

“I’m hoping I can kick this in a few days. I’d hate to cancel class again.” You assured Poe that no one would be mad if he did, to which he laughed and then immediately coughed. You hoped he’d be able to get rid of it soon, too. “You’re going to Cabo for spring break, right?”

“Yeah, with a few girlfriends from high school. Why?”

“I just forgot.” There was something about the tone of his voice that sounded nervous, but he didn’t say anything else. You and him had discussed your spring break plans and you knew he was going to California for a few days with Finn and Rey.

“So, I’m—“ Poe started, pausing to figure out how he was going to ask what he wanted. You urged him to continue. “After California, I’m spending a few days at my dad’s. If you can make it work, would you want to spend two or three of those days with me?”

Your mouth dropped and a small smile started to form on your face.

“You want me to meet your dad?” Poe shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, but it was to him. And it was to you too.

“Yeah, I do,” he said, putting his near empty bowl on the coffee table. You were happy to see he was able to finish most of it. “I was thinking you could fly out Thursday and we’d get a late flight back here on Saturday night so the chances of running into people from here are slim.”

“That’s very specific, how long have you been thinking about this?”

“Since we last talked about spring break. I just didn’t know how to ask you.”

“Were you scared to ask me?”

“I thought it might be too soon to be meeting family.”

“It might be,” you said softly and Poe nodded in understanding, but his face fell a little. You placed your hand on his leg. “But I still want to.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded and Poe’s face lit up. This was so important to him, like meeting his friends had been. And it stirred something in your chest that he already wanted you to meet his dad. It gave you more hope for your future together. “I’ll call my friends tomorrow and see if we can figure it out.”

Poe put his hand on top of yours and squeezed it, not exactly what he wanted to do but trying not to heighten your chances of getting sick. “I’ll get the soup put away, do you want to watch a movie before you leave?”

You nod and get up at the same time as him, grabbing the blanket from the floor and stretching out on the couch. You opened up Netflix and scrolled through, deciding on a movie that you’d both seen before in case Poe fell asleep. Poe turned a couple lights off as he came back, taking the blanket from you and settling between you and the couch. Half of his body laid on top of yours, legs tangled together and his cheek resting in the middle of your stomach. His arm laid along your other side, hand curved in so his fingers grazed against your side. You were his body pillow and you didn’t mind one bit.

Poe was a physically affectionate person. He loved to be touching you in some way, from something simple like holding your hand or throwing your legs across his lap to wrapping you completely around him while you laid in bed together, limbs so intertwined you wouldn’t know where he started and you ended. You weren’t surprised to find out that Poe was extremely cuddly when he wasn’t feeling well. A lot of people got that way.

You started the movie and brought your hand up to run your fingers through Poe’s hair, gently massaging his scalp as you did. You had learned pretty quick that his hair was a weakness for him, something that both relaxed him and excited him depending on what you were doing with it.

It had only been about a month since your first date but you were so incredibly happy with Poe. You adored everything about him, especially the way he treated you. He didn’t talk to you or see you or treat you like a naive girl in her early twenties. He respected you as an equal, an adult in an adult relationship. It was so early in your relationship, but you couldn’t help but think about a future with him.

This was the real thing for you. You were young and very well aware that a lot of people your age didn’t get into serious relationships. But you really wanted this to turn into something long-term. You hoped he did too.

He had your heart; completely, fully.

“You’re staring,” Poe mumbled. You chuckled.

“I can’t help it.

He looked up at you, his chin on your stomach. “Thanks for taking care of me,” he said quietly, placing a kiss on your stomach over your shirt. You smiled softly down at him.

“Of course,” you said. “If I wasn’t, you’d be curled up in the fetal position starving and dehydrated.”

“I would not.”

“You would too. You’re such a baby when you’re sick.”

Poe nuzzled your stomach, the action making you giggle when his two day old stubble made contact with your skin. You relaxed into him, the hand that was in his hair traveling down to rub soothing circles on his back. Within thirty minutes of the movie starting, you were both fast asleep.

When you were sick with a cold a few days later, Poe was better prepared to tackle the cold. You slept in his bed all day in his bed and he took care of you the same way you did for him.

tag list [open!] - @ah-callie @darksideofclarke @leilei-draws @imaginecrushes @i-ievu @brianamaree @yeeintensifies @spider-starry @krazykatkay456 @fanfiction-trashpile @afootnoteinyourhappiness @easterncryptid @my-child-gaara @myrandom-fandomlife @onebatch--twobatch @the-cry-of-youth @p3nny4urth0ught5 @porgiez @umchrisevans @galaxy-of-stories @seeking-a-great--perhaps @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @dameronsgalaxygal @mserynlarsen @yougottakeeponkeepinon @linibirdimagine @goddamndameron

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron smut #poe dameron #poe dameron x y/n #back to you series #smut #modern au #modern poe dameron

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the-incapable-hero · 4 years ago

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Techno found himself complacent. Now, keep in mind, it's hard for that to even come close to happening. After all, complacency is a recipe for downfall. But he really couldn't help it.

He flicks the blood from his sword and finds that his victory is tainted by monotony. He could hear cheering and awe at yet another victory, though like many other times, the applause became indistinguishable from the other voices in his head that kept his every waking moment permanently barred from even the prospect of silence.

As he continues to clean his blade, he begins to stalk off so that he might wear some nicer clothes. Not that he really needed to change since he hadn't even gotten a speck on his attire. It was flashy, shure, but appearance is important in his line of work. That, and a little extra gold around the wrist never hurt anyone. Just as he was about to leave his audience and former opponent behind, he heard a voice.

"Technoblade." It sounded expectant. He turned at the mention of his alias-turned-name and saw a new arrival standing near. His method of appearance was definitely… unique. Yes, let's put it that way. If there was a way to stray from every single norm, then this guy was it. A porcelain mask decorated his face, pristine as could be and a very simple design of a smile boasted confidence. He had his sword drawn and pointed at Techno. Techno raised an eyebrow as he stared directly into the mask, unimpressed.

"Yeah? You lookin' for a duel?" Techno asked, knowing the answer would be yes. He'd seen it before and had done this whole song and dance. But he didn't want to fight. Not this guy. If he was here, then there was no way he actually had noteworthy skill. He wasn't even in the tournament.

"Of course. Why else would I have a sword?"

"Yer makin' yerself look like a fool. Tournament's over. I'm not fightin' you." Techno could see him tense up and his grip tightened around the sword.

"Yeah? And what's so wrong about an encore?"

"I have a family to feed. I'm not stayin' to fight you. You couldn't even get into a tournament like this. I wiped the floor with the competition here, you really think you'll be any different?"

"I can and will beat you."

"Dream on. I'm goin' home." And so, he left. Back turned and sword sheathed. The masked man he left behind lowered his blade and huffed. This wouldn't be the end.

_____

It had been some time, not enough in Techno's opinion, before he saw that mask again. In his defense, his outfit changed. It looked like he'd put a bit more dignity into choosing how he presented himself. Still though, Techno had refused him. This tournament was higher up in the ranks. More was at stake too. Money. Land. Lives. Illegal? Maybe. But it let Techno really let loose. Though in typical fashion, the masked man had shown up right at the end of the tournament. It was already over but here he was, pointing a sword to Techno and demanding a duel. Techno found himself sighing.

"Listen. You either have no sense of showing up on time, have no guts to be in a tournament like this, or you really just don't have skills to be here. No matter which one it is, it means you'll be like every other contestant I've beaten. So, I'll say it again: dream on. You don't have the skill." Techno didn't even let him reply this time. He didn't give him the chance. Just turned his back and left. He was doing his work and getting his pay, so why was this guy so persistent?

_____

This was where he peaked. Or not. He supposed that the sky was the limit. It probably could be too if he was able to point his blade in all of the right places. A noble's tournament. Felt good. Even, better, these guys actually made Techno pay attention. Not that he'd gotten more than a nick on the sleeve, but hey, it's the thought that counts.

And to be honest, even though he had to hold back from killing anyone, it just made it more difficult. The restrictions made it more interesting. He had to think around them. He decided he liked the noble tournaments.

Though he'd probably like this one in particular significantly more if that mask hadn't interrupted him right before his first duel. Another challenge, another rejection. Techno was starting to catch on to this pattern. If he wasn't in the tournament, then he wasn't going to duel. What could he possibly gain from fighting him? The conversation was going the same as well. Maybe this would become another constant in Techno's life. Or maybe not. Who knows.

_____

"Welcome one and all to the Greater SMP semi-annual tournament. Today, we have some very esteemed guests joining us. To list just a few, Sapnap of the Greater SMP, George of the Greater SMP, Antfrost and Badboyhalo both representing the Badlands, and many more.

"But I know why you're really here, folks. You're here to see the high ranks. The best of the best. Well they're here folks. So get ready." Techno listened to the announcer and couldn't help but smile. He was ready. He'd face off against some real competition. Looking back on it, he felt silly for thinking that he'd peaked already.

There were so many more people he had to beat in combat before he'd be satisfied.

The tournament went about how he'd predicted. The nobles here definitely put up a fight, but not enough to best him. Some came closer than others, but his sword always found its mark eventually. So when the end of the tournament began approaching, he found himself a bit winded. It was him against the other finalist. He was excited, he wouldn't lie about that. But he tried not to get his hopes too high. Best not get too eager and accidentally kill the guy. The announcer came on again.

"Our finalists, everyone. Technoblade, having clawed his way to the top with ease now sits on his fortune, ready to take down challengers.

"And our masked duelist, who until today, has refused to take part in any official tournaments. He faces off Technoblade, eager to add another win to his list." Technoblade found himself pausing at that. Masked duelist? Why was he getting a sense of deja vu?

Well lo and behold. White porcelain emerged to face Techno. He'd stuck with a similar outfit this time, but his body language had changed. He was more confident, if that were even possible.

"Oh. So it's you. You made it into a tournament, huh?" Techno asked, sounding decidedly smug. The man let out a scoff and rolled his shoulders back.

"Yup. You willing to duel me now?"

"Eh. Fine. What's your name? They didn't say it over the mic."

"Yeah, cause I didn't tell them." The masked man thought for a brief moment before his mouth under the mask split into a mischievous grin.

"What have you said every time you turned me down? 'Dream on'? Well,"

He drew his sword and slid his foot back into a ready stance.

"Call me Dream." And he lunged. Techno was quick to parry, but this Dream guy was quicker than he looked. Not to mention calculated. Every single thing he did seemed to have a purpose, and even moments when Techno thought he was about to best him, Dream would seamlessly turn his mistake into an advantage. Techno went laser focused as he found himself struggling to gain and keep a foothold. The sound of swords clashing went on for what felt like an eternity, and even as he was beginning to tire, the sound of his heart thumping in his ears and the voices (audience? He didn't know) yelling for blood put him on top of the world. He hadn't felt like this in a long time.

Though all good things must come to an end, and this good thing ended with Techno's sword frozen by Dream's neck and Dream's sword positioned to plunge into Techno's stomach. Both were heaving for oxygen and frozen in time, even the voices quieted for a handful of seconds before time was set into motion again by the announcer's voice:

"Stalemate!" Dream and Techno dropped their stance, well and truly exhausted. Dream spoke first.

"Okay, not gonna lie, that was awesome. You're a lot better than I thought you'd be."

"Oh don't get all mushy on me. You've earned your duel privileges, but only so I can learn how ta beat you."

"Oh okay, sure. Whatever. I won't let that happen. I'll win, just you wait."

"Ha, like that'd ever happen, Mr. I Refuse to Enter in Tournaments. Dream on."

"I think I will."

_____

"You look like a fish out of water." Techno remarked, looking at Dream's formal attire. Said man was stiff as a board and had his mask, still pristine as the day he met Techno, pulled completely over his face.

"Shut up. Not all of us dress like we just robbed a piglin hoard."

"Excuse me, gold is the best thing to wear and it makes me look fabulous. I'm not the one that looks like he's got glue in his joints."

"Are you two done yet?" A dry voice came from the now cracked open door, revealing the face of one of Dream's closer friends, Sapnap. After Dream's first official tournament, he'd actually found that participating in them was alright. He wouldn't tell you why, but any who knew him knew that it was because he wanted to stick by the friends he'd made at that tournament. He would definitely deny it though.

"Yeah, just waiting on this nerd." Techno said, gesturing to Dream.

"Oh shut up."

"No."

"Okay, just come on. You fought your way to the top so now you have to deal with it. Come on, get a move on." Sapnap consoles while pushing the two out of the room. They'd all seen too much of each other since then, mostly because now that they were of equal standing, they were usually going to be in the same places.

"You two argue too much." Sapnap teased. He playfully nudged Dream to get him to loosen up, but it didn't really do much.

"I mean, Dream is pretty insufferable."

"Wha- hey!"

"He's got a point."

"Oh and that's coming from Panda and Pig."

"Yer not helpin' your case, Dream." Techno pushed. Dream threw his hands in the air.

"I give up. You two are the worst." Techno stifled a laugh, determined to not show how he was warming up to Dream and his friends. He had to make sure he was at the top of his game too. There was going to be a tournament later that day which meant another chance to beat Dream at his own game. Though before another comment could be made, the room they trio was approaching suddenly erupted into shouting. Techno and Dream rushed forward and swung the doors open to find absolute chaos on the other side. Masked people with very off-looking weapons pointed at people there were ransacking the room and all of its occupants for all it was worth.

"Robbery." Sapnap mumbled under his breath. Techno looked over to Dream who looked to already be in a fighting stance. Techno followed suit. With no words exchanged, they leapt into the fray, ready to subdue the thieves. Techno managed to knock a couple out before a blade clipped his ear and he felt a white-hot sting follow it. He quickly flicked it off and slammed the head of the person who'd done that into a nearby table.

"They've got enchanted stuff!" Techno yelled to Dream on the other side of the room.

"Yeah, I got that." Dream shouted back. He was disheveled and Techno wondered why for a brief moment before he spotted that one of the guys he was fighting had donned a dangerously glinting chest plate. Thorns.

"Well, if you can't beat 'em." Techno shouted to the room before wrenching the sword that had clipped him previously from the man's limp hand. Techno would admit that he didn't have much experience with enchanted gear since unless the tournament was underground and very very illegal, enchantments were banned. Not that he ever needed the extra help anyway. Once he had a weapon in his hand though, sweeping the area was easy as pie. Dream had followed suit and grabbed a sword with what looked like sharpness enchanted into the blade. The two eventually found themselves back to back, wiping clean the room of the thieves. The people in attendance had begun to get set free as well and followed the two in clearing the space. Though they weren't able to do much since many of the attackers had already been knocked unconscious by Techno and Dream.

"Well that was fun." Dream remarked. Techno had to agree. Their numbers were indeed impressive and it proved to be an interesting challenge fighting several people at once.

Not to mention, Techno couldn't recall a time he'd fought back to back with someone. It wasn't bad. Maybe he'd try it again.

@1randomperson15 thanks for the idea! I had fun with this one. I hope you don't mind that I took a few liberties with it lol.

And to everyone else, if you have an idea you really want to see written, let me know!

#dream smp au #dream smp fanfiction #dream smp nobles au #technoblade #dreamwastaken #sapnap #dream #fanfic #fanfic request #dream smp

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imaginethathaikyuu · 5 years ago

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kinktober - day 8

akaashi keiji - massage

kinktober faq prompt list

*NSFW warning featuring: honestly just really sweet love from my baby boy keiji... oh also he says kitten a lot cuz... u know... its keiji and i’m me* fem reader

It was as if Keiji had some sort of sixth sense when it came to you.

You weren’t sure how, but any time you needed something, Keiji knew before you could get the chance to tell him. Sometimes you were convinced he could read your mind - that’s how well he knew you.

It goes without saying that when you don't feel well, he knew it. He could so easily tell your mind and body were exhausted that it was as if you were carrying a sign that said, “I feel like shit!” In reality, all you had to do was sit down next to him in order for him to know.

You had your tells that he was always watching out for. If your hair was messier than normal, he knew you’d been running your hand through it more than you needed to - a sign something was stressing you out. If you’d been biting your nails, something was probably upsetting you. And if you changed out of your uncomfortable work clothes before finding him in the living room, you were probably too happy to be away from work.

And today, you were three for three.

He heard you get home before he saw you. As usual, he was waiting for you on the couch, having just arrived home from work himself. He was excited to see you and offer to take you out for dinner - while you immediately went to your shared room.

He decided to follow you there rather than wait for you to come find him, and he stood in the doorway, leaning against the door frame as he watched you unbutton your shirt.

You didn’t look up at him, instead you focused on getting out of your clothes. When you finally stood in your bra and underwear, he spoke up.

“How are you, babe?”

You gave him nothing but a blank stare and a shrug as you pushed your now frizzy - though undeniably cute - hair out of your face.

“Today was a big day, wasn’t it?”

Another shrug. “Just a lot of running errands for everyone. Not much else.”

“What about that promotion?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you said with a deep sigh. Keiji understood. He got the hint. “Have you seen that blue t-shirt I like?”

He pushed off of the wall and approached you. “It’s in the washer.” He took your hand in his, glancing down at your ragged nails. “You don’t need it, though. Lay down, kitten, let me help you relax.”

“Keiji -”

“Kitten.”

There was still work you had to do; it was your turn to make dinner, and your closet needed organizing, and there was still an assignment from work you had to do. But you decided to heed Keiji’s warning, in the hopes of avoiding an argument.

Because Keiji would definitely argue over this.

“I have a lot to do,” you sighed as you sat on the edge of the bed.

He followed you with his hands behind his back. “We’ll order in for dinner. Anything else that has to be done can wait until tomorrow.”

You had nothing to say, so you didn’t reply.

With a kiss on your forehead, Keiji said, “now lay down, kitten. You need to relax.”

You let yourself fall back, your arms landing above your head. Somehow, you felt too stressed out to be laying down - there was just too much to be done for you to be doing nothing.

“On your stomach,” he said with a laugh. “Unless that’s where you want me to give you your massage.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing,” you huffed as you rolled over.

“Stomach massages are definitely a thing,” he told you, his hands hovering over your midsection. “You might be too ticklish for them, though.”

You felt his fingers wiggling towards your waist, and you grabbed for his wrists before he could get any closer to tickling you.

“Keiji, no!”

“I’m just playing, let me go,” he laughed. You huffed and did as he asked, folding your arms and resting your head on them.

Keiji put his large hand flat on the small of your back while listening intently to your breathing.

“Relax, kitten. Deep breaths.”

He breathed with you, slow and deep as both of his hands moved up your back - eventually hitting the road block that was your bra strap.

His voice was quiet when he asked, “Can I take this off?” and when you nodded he helped you remove it.

And then he continued the upward strokes on your back for a few minutes, slowly building up to apply more pressure. His hands were big and warm and familiar, and he caressed you gently as his thumbs worked into your muscles.

He was no professional, so he wasn’t pulling out any tricks or special moves - he has, however, done this for you many times. Because of that he’s done minimal research, and so he understands how to give you a good enough massage.

For you, it was more than good enough. You could have fallen asleep laying there as he did as he pleased to your body, somehow knowing exactly where, how, and when to touch you. The stress of the day was being pulled away by Keiji’s knowing hands.

They moved even lower, gliding over your butt to your thighs, and he treated them the same; gentle, low pressure, tender movements, going from your left leg to your right.

The soft sighs you were letting out were like music to Keiji’s ears; he didn’t have to ask if he was making you feel good because those cute noises were telling him everything he needed to know.

He sat down on the bed next to you and moved his hands back up to your back, gently rubbing your skin while he checked up on you. “Are you relaxed?”

You nodded and gave a quiet hum, making Keiji smile.

Again, his hand slid down and over your ass, resting on your thigh.

“Your muscles are just so stiff,” he said, attempting his best masseuse impersonation. “You should really work on honing your positive energy and embedding it into your stiff muscles -”

“You should work on shutting the hell up,” you replied, to which Keiji laughed much louder than he intended to.

“Okay, you’re right, I’ll hush… you are pretty stiff, though,” he said, sliding his hands back up to your butt and giving it a good squeeze, “especially here -”

“Keiji!”

“I’m kidding! Somewhat...”

Your muscles did feel quite tense - especially in your thighs. He may have to take you to a real masseuse, but until he can make that appointment, he’d have to try his best to relax you himself.

That’s where he focused, his hands going around from your outer thigh to the inside, applying what he thought to be the right amount of pressure. He continued that movement until he got to the top of your leg.

And he noticed that the higher up your leg he got, each time his hands rounded out to your inner thigh, your sighs turned into soft whimpers.

The inside of your legs was sensitive. Keiji was caressing you seemingly innocently, but you knew that he knew what he was doing. He was going just high enough to give you the thought, but didn’t give you anything you were imagining. He focused one hand on the inside of your leg, firmly moving upwards, and he could see your hips jerking.

You were attempting to grind into the bed, though he wasn’t sure how successful the movements were. Either way, he couldn’t have you doing that.

He left one hand lingering on your leg and placed his other on the small of your back. “Kitten… relax. Deep breaths for me.”

As you took your first deep inhale, he trailed up to right between your legs. He pressed his hand flat against you, and your response was a long, quiet whine.

You were so warm, and he could feel you throbbing against is fingers. You were still wearing your cotton underwear - he could tell they were already quite wet.

He wasn’t going to tease you, as much as he wanted to. Keiji only wanted you to relax, to feel good, to be calm after your bad day.

When he didn’t move, you started to get needy. “Keiji, please…”

“Shh, kitten, don’t get antsy - we have all the time in the world.”

You nodded, and tried your best to suppress your desire. He was right. This was calming, and you shouldn’t try to speed things up.

His fingertips pressed firmly against your clit and moved in slow, small circles. “Keep your breathing steady, Y/N,” he told you, watching as you nodded in response. “You’re doing so well.”

You were convinced Keiji had magical hands, and right now he was giving you more pleasure than you could handle. But you still felt like you needed more - you couldn’t stop yourself from whining and moaning and squirming.

But he wasn’t happy with that. The more you moved around, the less relaxed you were.

“Kitten, you’ve got to stay still… You don’t need to move around. I’ll take care of you, baby, just stay still for me. Let me take care of you.”

His fingers sped up after that, and you steadied your breathing again to focus on how amazing you felt because of him. You didn’t have to lift a finger - Keiji was taking care of you, just like he said he would.

“That’s it,” he praised, “just focus on me and your breathing and my fingers, kitten. That’s all you need to do right now.”

A strangled deep breath in, a heavy moan out. Keiji’s fingers slid into your underwear and still didn’t miss a beat. Breathe in deep, hold in your moans, breathe out.

“K-Keiji…”

“I love your moans, but keep breathing -”

“Keiji, I-I think I’m gonna cum…”

He smirked proudly at your words. “That’s okay, kitten, you can cum for me. Whenever you’re ready - don’t hold back.”

He may have sped up just a bit more to get you there faster - but he definitely didn’t do that on purpose. It was effective, though - you came fast, and you had no thoughts that weren’t involving Keiji as you did so.

“That’s it, you’re doing so well,” he said, holding your body in place with a hand on your back as you came for him, your moans long and soft. “You’re perfect, kitten, just keep cumming for me.”

You weren’t sure how long he strung you along with his fingers on your clit; even after your orgasm was over, he didn’t stop. But it felt so good, and you were sure you could lay there forever with his fingers continuing their ministrations on you, his soft voice encouraging you to keep breathing.

“Are you alright?”

“Y-Yeah,” you said.

He slowed down, easing his hand away from you - he didn’t want to end up over-stimulating you too much.

“You did great, kitten - stay there while I go get you a towel.”

He was only gone long enough for you to roll over onto your back, and when he returned he gave you a sigh.

“You weren’t supposed to move.”

You shrugged, looking up at him with a loose grin. You almost looked drunk.

“Can I have that towel?”

He threw it to you and it landed on your face, and then fetched you a change of clothes.

“I’m really living the high life,” you joked. “Can you dress me, too?”

“No can do - I prefer removing your clothes.”

He gave you one of his large t-shirts and watched you put it on, standing patiently with his hands behind his back.

“Do you need anything?”

You shook your head and reached out to him, pulling him down to sit next to you. And then you wrapped your arms around his neck, giving him a tight hug.

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“Thank you, Keiji.”

“You’re welcome, kitten.”

You pulled away and looked at him, brushing a stray curl from his face before giving him the smallest kiss on the lips.

“Lay down, I’ll give you your massage now.”

“I don’t think I need one -”

You cut him off by pushing him down, and then lifting his shirt up, exposing his sculpted muscles underneath.

“I think you need the stomach massage, Keiji. Now relax, you’ve got stiff muscles, too.”

tune in tomorrow for kinktober day 9: toys

#this gave me so much trouble you dont understand #i really hope i did my husband justice #kinktober 2019 #kinktober #akaashi keiji #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi x reader #haikyuu one shot #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu x reader #not family friendly

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spiltscribbles · 5 years ago

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Metamorphosis

Notes: This was written for the most wonderful, gorgeous and sweetheart babe in the history of ever!!! @omgcmere for her birthday! ILYSM sweetheart! Huge thanks to my babes @pastelle-pvnk and @bibliothesophfor reading over this for me!<3<3

~A reblog is worth a thousand stars~

I am free and that is why I am lost

-Franz Kafka

Henry wakes up the day before classes of his junior year exhausted, hung over, and to a positively shit-eating grin that Pez is boasting while he gleefully pushes open the blinds like the sadistic fuck that he is.

“You’ve become a real tosser ever since making out with my sister last Christmas,” Henry informs him bluntly, stretching out slowly while looking around for his shirt until coming to the realization that the bloke from last night must’ve taken it while on the walk of shame.

Henry really tries his damndest not to think of his ass taking that walk.

“Ah Beatrice, my sun and stars.” Pez magnanimously throws Henry an old henley from his still unpacked suitcase. Tosser status withstanding, He’s still Henry’s best friend, has been ever since freshman year when they found solace in each other being the only two Brits in this entire university— well the only ones that matter, anyhow.

“Oy, did you wake me up at this godforsaken hour just to wax poetic about my sister of all people?” Henry grouses, padding over to their joint bathroom to brush his teeth, wincing only slightly at the already raucous chatter going on in the downstairs of their frat house.

“Believe it or not Haz, dealing with your temperamental arse actually wasn’t on my list to do today,” Pez crows, standing there all put together and fresh and well-rested. Like a fucking monster. “But we’ve got that meeting with the Dean of Student Affairs about the room situation for rush week, and we’re still in that debate with Chi Phi’s president over it.”

Henry glares at the reminder, a spark of fury running down his spine, and perhaps an extra thudding to his heart, but Henry’ll studiously ignore that.

“God damn Alex Claremont-Diaz.”

“Only took you around three minutes to mention him today,” Pez perks with a knowing leer. “I reckon that’s a new record..”

“Get the fuck out, Pez.”

Henry was seven years old when he realized that his family were the sort of folks that end up on magazine covers and the headlines of salacious talk shows— that his dad was a renowned movie star and his ma’s the cousin of the queen of England. Henry was fifteen years old when he first started to hate as much. When a nurse assigned to his father's hospital room leaked his death before the doctor even had time to tell them, his damn wife and kids.

Henry was sixteen and lost at sea when Philip and the bloody queen herself sat down with him to tell him that his public presence required a certain sort of image, a discrete sort of image. An image that didn’t condone printed scarves and lingering hands with the son of a Lord who was two years ahead of him in Eton. Henry was eighteen years old when he ran off to America and learned how to keep everything hush, hush, becoming untethered to all the bull shit surrounding him. When he was accepted to Yale, and joined a fraternity and tried his damndest to emulate some douchebag wanker in the likeness of Philip.

And you know what, it was all going as planned until Henry met the infuriatingly arrogant, and downright mesmerizing boy in the rival fraternity. The one with an upturned nose and such big brown eyes and a delicious sort of half grin when Henry challenges him on something, or keeps him on his toes. Though if Henry’s being frank, he likes it most when Alex is keeping him on his knees, when Henry’s mouth is full and Alex’s lips are preening and he’s spouting out a sort of cursed poetry with every flick of Henry’s tongue and bobbing of his head.

Though that’s irrelevant now in the light of day when they’re on opposing sides and Alex is smirking at him from across the way with such irresistible swagger, sporting Henry’s red t-shirt that brings out the specs of golden in his almost molten eyes.

Henry hates him.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he calls out, just because he knows it makes Henry flush.

“The room’s ours, you prick,” Henry retorts, beyond mulish.

“It’s so cute when you get all flustered, Fox.”

“I’m not joking around, Alexander! That room’s been Alpha Delta Phi’s every opening week since the bloody eighties.”

“Don’t you think it’s time for a change in venue then?” Alex asks with an owlish blink, sliding lower in his seat so that his legs spread even further.

Oh fuck him. Fuck Alex Claremont-Diaz’s stupid cocky attitude and his stupid fucking face and so what if Henry just wants to just fuck him stupid. He can’t win just because Henry’s a weak, weak man.

“The room’s ours, Alex,” he warns lowly.

“You wanna prove it, pretty boy?”

Henry’s eyes flicker to the clock over the office door. It doesn’t technically open for another quarter of an hour, and they’ve worked with less time in even more compromising positions, so Henry doesn’t think twice when he tugs a very caught off-guard Alex into the bathroom down the hall, praying to God that there are no cameras around here.

“Woah there cowboy, didn’t get enough last night?” Alex grins, hands already down to unbutton Henry’s jeans.

“You’re fucking infuriating,” is all Henry says in answer, swatting Alex’s hands away before going down on his knees and tugging down the abhorrently orange basketball shorts Alex has on. God, if Henry actually cared he’d pull Alex aside and give him a lesson on what’s actually excusable to wear in public.

“Now why don’t you try to stay quiet for once,” Henry tells him in a hush, biting lightly on the skin of Alex’s inner thigh before kissing the spot in penance.

“Psha, you — erm, you like it when I’m loud.”

Henry doesn’t argue, isn’t in the mood to lie. Instead he takes him in slowly, tongue lapping around Alex’s tip and pushing down with precision.

“Ah, yeah H,” Alex blurts, about two octaves higher than his normal speaking voice, as his head hits the stall, a shaking hand curled in Henry’s hair while the other one is clenched tight around his shoulder.

Henry lets one of his hands wrap around the base of Alex’s cock as the other inches to Alex’s admittedly fantastic ass, wants this done quick and sloppy and to teach Alex a lesson that he can’t just win every argument by sitting around looking like some sort of brought to life Grecian statue.

“Henry— H,” Alex comes too close to whining, tugs harder on his hair and cants his hips forward. He at least has the decency to look sheepish. “You really need to calm down or I’m,” Alex falters right then, eyes going blown when Henry’s first finger dips into his asshole, hooking in deep before Henry takes a mouth full of him again. He repeats the action another two and a half times before Alex has to frantically tap on his head in warning, and Henry gets to stand up — more than a bit smug — smirking down at a boneless Alex who’s using the stall as his only support.

“I reckon while you clean up here, I’ll go speak with the dean on the behalf of Alpha Delta Phi,” Henry tells him, swiping his mouth with the back of his hand to get rid of the pre-cum still found there.

Alex’s brows hike up as he slowly realizes what Henry has done, breathless while he spews out a fuming, “Bastard.”

“Least you got a consolation prize love,” Henry goads, kissing him full on the mouth before adjusting himself and walking back out to the office.

Alpha Delta Phi gets the room just like they have for the past half century, and Alex fucks Henry senseless for the next week. Balance is restored.

Henry thinks it’s important to note that this thing he has with Alex — well, it’s not even a thing, really. They’re fuck buddies, but no. That would imply that there is some sort of camaraderie found between them, when simply there just is not. It’s a thing of convenience, truly.

The fact of the matter is that they find one another ridiculously hot, but also can’t stand a prolonged conversation without feeling the burning need to wring the others neck by the end of it. They realized as much halfway through freshman year when they had the same English lit class and Henry had to be physically restrained by Pez when Alex was arguing against Henry’s point about Hemingway being oversaturated and a blowhard.

“He’s a classic,” Alex had charged, the snow of early February in New England cascading in his dark curls and catching in his long lashes.

“He’s only adored because he’s got a dick! Why don’t you read Austen or at least a man who has something to say!” Henry had fumed.

“Let me guess, you like Metamorphosis?”

“What do you have against Kafka?” Henry gaped, only just beginning to notice the others eyeing the pair of them. And yeah, it might’ve been bewildering how they’re arguing about literaries from centuries passed in the middle of a bonfire party, but people need to learn how to mind their own fucking business.

“Well dude, if we’re speaking about blowhards, he’s definitely the king of them,” Alex had snorted loftily, taking a swig of his spiked hot chocolate.

“Don’t call me dude,” Henry had sniffed, which made Alex squint at him, more than a bit amused.

“Okay, tell me, does Prince Douche do anything for ya, pretty boy?”

That was the first night Henry grabbed Alex by the collar and showed him what it meant to be an actual blow hard. And well….they never stopped. They didn’t stop the sniping at each other or the razor-tipped barbs being volleyed around, and especially not the fucking. Never the fucking.

But yeah, it’s not really anything, especially not the best thing. It could never be that. And not even just because his shitty family basically told him straight up that Henry could never actually come out in the public eye, Henry’s accepted that, has learned how to slink around those rules to live in some sort of happy purgatory. But the thing is, Henry’s just not a good boyfriend. He’s always too in his own head and he’s not really that attentive, and besides all that, Henry didn’t come to university to meet some bloke and live some gay romance story from the 1900s.

Henry’s here at university to get a degree, to become someone. He’s here because his father always told him to reach for the heavens, to do something beyond himself. Henry wants to be the next great literary, wants to write something that matters, that makes a difference. Something that’ll make Beatrice laugh with no more worry eclipsing the sound, and maybe even something that’ll bring the stars back in his mother’s eyes. Henry wants to say something that’s worth being said.

Henry doesn’t want to have anything getting in the way of that, preventing him from becoming someone important. But regardless, it’s not as if Alex has ever seen Henry as more than a good lay, has made it abundantly obvious throughout the year and a half of their sleeping around. Most notably, that three month interlude when Alex began dating that boy from the student government, Liam whoever, at the end of last term. Though to be frank, Alex was always far out of Liam’s league, and the week that followed their breakup included some of the most dynamic and mind-blowing sex Henry’s ever experienced.

But that’s irrelevant.

Alex and Henry are only a last resort to one another, and it doesn’t have to mean anything more, it doesn’t have to be complicated, Henry hates it when things get complicated.

Henry’s in the midst of editing his term paper on the impact that Woolf created in the discussion of gender in Orlando when he gets a text from Pez telling him to “stop being a robot.”

Glaring, Henry ignores the text from Beatrice about David, and the email regarding alpha Delta Phi’s first charity function for this term, and the half dozen snapchat notifications from Alex alone. He instead moves to reply to Pez with a middle finger emoji before he’s accosted by a pair of hands wrapping around his eyes.

“Guess who?” an ever-amused and incredibly buoyant voice asks.

“A prick?” Henry replies in a deadpan, making it so Alex cuffs him on the back of the head.

“Say dick you douche, you’re in America now,” he commands, taking a seat besides him in the almost empty top floor of the silent library.

“Fuck off,” Henry hisses, rubbing the tender spot. “And since when are you in the library this late?”

“You mean at three in the morning?” Alex says pointedly. “Never, because I’m normal and not a school-obsessed freakazoid like you.”

Henry sticks out his tongue in retaliation because he’s too groggy to come up with anything clever.

“And yet?”

“I’m a good person and dropped off a spare key to a brother who’s wigging out about a midterm,” Alex says, studying Henry with a peculiar amount of intensity. “Saw your pale ass haunting this place like a ghost and thought I’d bug you a little.”

“What is it?” Henry asks moodily, surprised at the lapse of silence that follows before Alex shrugs in answer.

“You’ve got some nasty circles under your eyes, white boy,” he says, not quite as crude as usual but Henry still glares in exasperation.

“So what? You got up in the middle of the night just to help a friend and criticize my looks?” Henry says with a huff, rubbing his strained eyes, only just starting to feel the exhaustion weighing heavy on his shoulders.

“I was at Nora’s place, so I was already up,” Alex says, unwittingly making it so Henry stiffens.

It’s not unusual for them to discuss each other's conquests, but it’s different when it comes to Nora. Henry knows that she and Alex had dated for a stint freshman year before the two of them crossed paths. She’s a gorgeous and fierce computer sciences major with a minor in mathematics. There’s no way in hell that Alex isn’t still carrying a torch for her, which is fine and all, it’s not like Henry and Alex are anything beyond occasional hookups, but yeah— it still makes it so something uncomfortable is squirming right beneath the surface of his skin. And God does Henry hate it.

“How is she?” Henry asks evenly, ignores the way Alex is searing a hole into the side of his head while Henry adjusts the syntax of one of his topic sentences.

“Fine,” he says in the same detached sort of inflection. “You’re working on that paper for your gender lit class?”

“It’s due tomorrow morning,” Henry answers.

“Haven’t you been done with it for, like, a week?” Alex asks.

“Haven’t you heard that revising is the only way to get a decent paper?” Henry sniffs.

“Dude, I think you’ve edited enough,” Alex snorts. Everything always coming so fucking easy to him, it’s maddening. He’s gorgeous and charming and brilliant and he doesn’t even have to try. But worst yet, it’s not even a big deal to him. Even if he weren’t all those things he never had a family name to live up to, was never expected to be something he was not. Henry’s so fumingly envious but also so goddamn lost on him and how it is he’s come to be.

“Alexander, is there a purpose for this ridiculous conversation?” Henry lets out a long-suffering sigh. “I really need to get back at this.”

“And what? Not sleep till tomorrow?” Alex snipes.

“If you don’t say anything worth my while in the next five seconds, I'm putting my earbuds back in and ignoring you,” Henry tells him point blank. “Five, four, three—“

Alex’s face goes a furious scarlet, jaw set, before he gets close enough that his breath skirts against Henry’s lips, and his hand finds its way to the front of his trousers.

“I’d really like it if you’d let me jerk you off right now.”

It's Henry’s turn to burn red.

“What?”

“Do I need to repeat myself?”

“We’re in public.”

“We’re in a dark library in the middle of the night and your weird ass always picks the corner surrounded by the shelves.”

“It’s always quietest,” Henry argues weakly.

“Bet we can change that,” Alex counters smugly.

Henry has already admitted that he’s a weak man, so he’s not surprised when Alex’s challenge actually works and he’s led to the most concealed corner with heated kisses and impatient grappling tugging him closer.

“You’re unruly,” Henry whines when Alex bites down at the hinge where the column of his neck meets his shoulder.

“And you’re really sexy when you’re all focused and nibbling down on that pen,” Alex leers, pulling himself and Henry out of their pants. “Really gets a guy imagining things.”

Henry swallows down, hard.

“What sorts of things?” He asks lightly.

“You know H,” Alex croons, gets a hand locked around each of them, knocking the breath out of Henry and making it so he’s gripping at the shelves, bracketing Alex on either side. “You get this little dent between your brows,” he leans forwards and nibbles against Henry’s neck once more. “’S the same one you get right before you cum.”

“Oh yeah?” Henry asks, pleads as he jerks into Alex’s hand, watching the moonlight dancing in his hair and tracing his strong features with a romantic sort of gentleness. Holy fuck, is he beautiful.

Okay, so Henry might’ve said that last part out loud, but he doesn’t even care because Alex’s grin goes lopsided, and he kisses the corner of Henry’s mouth and everything goes a blinding white when Alex strokes him over the edge.

“You are really something, Henry Fox,” Alex says in a voice that’s caught between befuddlement and a sort of wondrous intrigue. Henry can’t really reply though, feels heavy and sated and like he really wants to curl up with Alex. But that’s a ridiculous notion and Henry needs to get those thoughts out his mind or else this’ll all be ruined.

“You’re like an orgasm fairy,” Henry tells him in a yawn.

“I want that for my epithet,” Alex winks, gently pushing Henry’s overstimulated cock back into his briefs and zipping him back up. “I’m calling one of the vans if you want to join, our houses are the same way,”

Henry blinks, confused. “I can’t,” He tells him with a hint of irritation. “I’ve got to finish that paper.”

Alex frowns fully now, pinning him with a one-eyed squint.

“You look like you’re about to drop dead.”

“This’s how I always look after sex,” Henry contends, unconvincing to his own ears.

“You’re gonna run yourself into your own grave if you don’t give yourself a break,” Alex tells him, near fuming.

“Then that’ll be my own doing,” Henry says, steadfast.

“That’s fucking psychotic,” Alex hisses and Henry hates how he can’t understand why this, being here, being worth something greater than just a jumble of letters and familial connection, is so important to Henry.

“’S not your life to live,” he shrugs, turning away from Alex.

“You don’t have to be the best to be worth anything, Henry,” he calls after him, cutting and cruel and careless.

Henry feels like he’s been caught out, like he can’t breathe. And how dare Alex, how dare he pretend that their situations are at all similar. Like there aren’t chasms separating them.

“Fuck you, Alexander.”

“I mean that’s all you ever want, isn’t it?”

There’s a sound like Alex kicking a chair but Henry doesn’t know for sure, refuses to turn around and check.

It’s been two weeks since the library incident.

Neither of them has texted first, not even glancing in the other’s direction in the one class they share. And it’s good, it’s fine, it’s whatever. Henry’s never wanted anything more than a consistent fuck, and Alex has got dozens of options of incredibly pretty and incredibly smart and incredibly affable people just like him. He doesn’t need Henry and Henry doesn’t need him.

It’s fine.

“It doesn’t look fine, mate,” Pez tells Henry that Friday night with knit brows and a worried expression splayed out all over his face. Henry doesn’t answer in so many words, just tosses him the bird instead. “Right, good talk.”

“It’s nothing, Pez,” Henry insists, taking a drag of his joint and pretending that it helps.

“Then come to the party with us tonight, yeah? It’s Spencer’s birthday and I know he’d be a total mess if you actually tagged along to get drunk with us commoners.”

Henry glares with feeling but accepts the offer merely to prove his point that whatever happened between him and Alex means nothing.

Admittedly, that notion might’ve been thrown out the godforsaken window when the party goes into full swing and Henry finally catches sight of Alex near the beer pong table, laughing with Liam of all fucking people.

They look happy, happier than Henry’s ever seen him.

Henry feels cold all over.

He doesn’t know why he’s acting like this, doesn’t understand the reason why his stomach’s twisting into knots and his veins are spiking with a truly awful emotion and why his ribcage has cracked open, screaming at Alex, telling him to notice, to look at Henry, to see that he’s here, dammit. To see that Henry’s here and whole and has so much to give him even if it looks like the contrary.

Henry doesn’t understand any of it, so he ignores the feelings and races up stairs to his room, crossly slamming his door shut and cursing at his own stupidity.

Like he does whenever he’s overwhelmed, Henry grabs for one of the novels lining his shelf and gets lost in the fictitious lives penned in black and white, lives far away from his reach, lives that Henry could get lost in studying and forget his own for only a little while. It’s what he did when Bea and Philip were doing grown up things and he was stuck at home all alone. What he did for days on end in the hospital room, reading to his father while he faded away bit by bit. It’s what he did to forget the fact that his own brother wants him to hide himself in all his varieties of light.

It’s the one constant in Henry’s life and he does it now, gets lost in the words and tries to forget the throbbing to his own heart.

It’s the first time it doesn’t work.

Henry doesn’t know how much time passes when his door creaks open and he looks up to a face he put to memory long ago, even if he pretended otherwise.

“Alexander?”

“Cinderella,” he grins, slow and warm like molasses. “‘How cruel, your veins are made of ice water, and mine are boiling.’”

Henry’s heart feels like it’s just lodged into his throat, his eyes never leaving Alex’s own.

“Excuse me?”

“Wuthering Heights,” he says nonchalantly with a one-armed shrug while stepping closer into the room and pushing the door shut. “It’s your favorite book to read when you’re overwhelmed.”

Henry’s lips pinch, sitting up completely now, regarding Alex fully. “Is that right?”

“Mhmm. You like Sense and Sensibility when you’ve done well on a paper. And you have a secret copy of Little Women stuffed under your bed for whenever Bea messages you and you begin to miss her.”

“Don’t tell me you’re a stalker, Alexander,” Henry says, pretending that the butterflies swarming in his belly are just from nerves of speaking to him after so long and not from the pleasure of him knowing Henry without his evening realizing it.

“You’re not that difficult to figure out, Fox. I’ve told you: you’re just a bimbo with great legs and an accent that makes people think you know two shits about anything.” Alex flops stomach first on Henry’s bed, his head resting up against Henry’s thigh. It’s against Henry’s will when his hand moves forwards to card through Alex’s mussed curls.

“Charming, you’re truly so charming, Alexander. Do you know that?” Henry says blithely.

“The newspapers call me charismatic,” he smirks airily, making it so Henry can’t help but snort.

“Prick.”

“Says the guy who ghosted me,” Alex counters.

“The phone works both ways, love,” he says condescendingly, hating how something golden and splendid is coiling somewhere deep inside of him, merely to due with Alex’s presence.

“Pfft.” Alex gets up now so that they’re face to face, brown eyes boring into blue. “Do you know what you told me after the first night we slept together?”

Henry doesn’t have the slightest clue, so he just shrugs helplessly. “You’ve got a good mouth?”

“Shut the fuck up, you ass. I’m being serious.”

“So am I?”

“You called me a fucking distraction,” Alex hurls, like it’s been something that’s been clawing against him for a while now, itching to be spoken, clacking against his teeth and finally pouring out with vengeance. “You said you had to do well in your studies and you didn’t need a distraction.”

Henry furrows his brows, confused to the point he’s trying to make.

“And you agreed, if memory serves me well,” He says defensively.

“Yeah, because I wasn’t about to be rejected by some rich, pretty boy.”

“I hope you thought a bit more of me than that,” Henry teases, inches closer to him so that the tips of their fingers touch on the bedding.

“You also have a truly remarkable shoulder-to-waist ratio.” Alex shrugs, and Henry knows he’s trying to be a shit, but he still preens. Likes the reminder that Alex is just as much into him as he is Alex.

“I don’t see what’s wrong here.”

Alex shoves at Henry’s forearm, hard.

“The problem, you prick, is that for some fucked-up reason I was actually into you, like a lot.”

Henry’s head swings up from where it was lazily gazing at Alex’s lips, waiting for a chance to kiss them.

“Like truly into me? Like you want to go steady and out on dates and spend the night in my bed?”

“I mean, whatever the non-old man sounding equivalent of that is,” Alex tacitly agrees, head cocked like he’s trying to parse out Henry’s own feelings.

And for his part, Henry can’t believe what he’s hearing, what Alex’s saying, what he’s confirming. This must be a dream, a figment of Henry’s imagination. Stuff like this doesn’t happen to him, they happen to the protagonists of his favorite stories, not real life.

“Wh—What? Why?”

“Dude, that’s what I’ve been asking myself for the past year and a half,” Alex gripes, rocking back; Jesus fuck, he’s nervous. He’s just admitted all his feelings like that and he’s waiting for Henry to either confirm or shoot him down. Henry’s the one with the upper hand here, and it’s awful.

Holy fuck.

“You—you said you liked me,” Henry says tentatively. “But now, do you—erm, ahem,” Henry coughs awkwardly, and Alex is gracious enough to answer the unspoken query.

“I didn’t break up with Liam last semester because he didn’t root for the Cowboys, dumbass.”

“Oh,” Henry blinks, befuddled, which makes Alex roll his head back so fiercely that Henry’s afraid he might strain something.

“I broke up with him because I’ve got this massive, irrecoverable, disgusting thing for this blonde prick. A douche who puts too much on his shoulders and tries to prove something to someone who isn’t even here, and who is so goddamn dense that I have to spell my feelings out to him like he’s actually a frat bro instead of just pretending to be.”

Henry feels himself going scarlet, feels it how his heart blossoms with wanting, unrestrained and painful in its ferocity.

“But Nora?”

Alex’s face goes blank, and then a sickly green color. “Dude, why are you bringing my sister’s girlfriend into this?”

“Wait—You’re not? I thought you still had a, erm—a thing for her?”

“She’s not the one I just gave a Twilight-level cringe speech to, is she?” Alex harrumphs, crossing his arms and scowling at a point over Henry’s shoulder.

“So, you really like me?” Henry asks hopefully.

“I swear to God, Fox: if you don’t tell me how you feel in the next five seconds I’m going to—“

Alex stops speaking right then, is interrupted by Henry’s slamming lips and desperate palming and long limbs tangling into one another.

“You’re a monster,” Alex pants once Henry’s lips finally unlatch from his and Henry’s almost tearing off his shirt.

“I can’t believe you actually want this,” Henry says in contrary. “I’m a mess, you do realize as much, don’t you?”

Alex looks endeared when he smiles, shrugging helplessly. “I like messes.”

Henry can’t help the laugh he lets out, relishes when Alex finally gets a good hold of him and lays him back so that they’re pressed skin to skin and he’s spouting out nonsense about Henry’s eyes and mouth and dick, each point punctuated with a kiss across Henry’s protruding collarbone, helps him shed off the last of his clothing.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,”Alex marvels, making Henry’s cheeks redden and causing him to hide it by kissing along Alex’s jaw.

“I’ve liked you for so long,” Henry can admit in the blanket of night, is soft when he slants their lips back up against each other, back arching when he feels Alex pressing inside of him, stretching him out. He’s always so gentle with Henry, even before this was supposed to mean anything. But, holy fuck, who’s he kidding––this has always meant something, even when Henry pretended otherwise.

“You’re the most stubborn fuck I’ve ever met,” Alex tells him, making it sound like an exaltation. “You always had your mind set, know exactly where you’re gonna go.”

Henry groans when Alex puts in the second slicked up finger, followed quickly by the third.

“Ah-Alex, ‘Lex, please.”

“You’re so smart and beautiful, and you have such a good heart.” Alex just keeps on talking, only stopping occasionally to pepper a kiss on a spot around Henry’s face.

Henry feels his eyes prickle with wetness, knows that it’s a combination of feeling so much and feeling so exposed, so open in Alex’s eyes.

“You’re amazing, sweetheart,” Alex whispers, kisses the tears away before he lines up and thrusts into him, something this side of painful with the first couple canting of the hips, until he hits that miraculous point that makes Henry’s insides go feral and something ferocious unfurl within him.

“Alexander, please. Please, love, please,” Henry pleads, hands scratching against Alex’s back and head tossed with yearning.

“You’re so good, so perfect, Henry,” Alex says like an oath, pushing deeper and harder into him, biting down on Henry and making him shout as he cants his hips up to meet each of Alex’s own.

Alex is spouting out a new round of praises towards Henry’s brilliance and butt and beauty and Henry can hardly handle it, feels the white streaks landing on his belly right before Alex begins speeding up in a graceless round of thrusts, finishing with a blown out expression, slowly pulling out and tossing the condom to the trash bin beside the bed.

He collapses half on top of Henry but he doesn’t mind, moves slightly so that the blanket is covering the both of them and kisses Alex’s shoulder tenderly.

“I think I might love you,” he whispers, snuggling closer to Alex.

“Good,” he yawns, slings an arm around Henry’s torso and curves against him. “Makes us even.”

Next week Henry calls Philip and tells him to kiss his ass, and that he doesn’t have to prove shit to anyone.

“You’re sexy when you’re mad,” Alex tells Henry when he hangs up.

“You always think I’m sexy,” Henry sniffs loftily.

“Guilty as charged.” Alex shrugs, pulls up to kiss him senseless once more, making everything go delirious.

#FIRSTPRINCE #Red white and royal blue #Henry Fox Mountchristen Windsor #Alex Claremont Diaz #RWRB #YAY I FIXED IT #IT WASN'T SHOWING UP ON THE TAG #RIP #BETH BABE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH #!!!#SPILT INK

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you-have-made-a-fatal-error · 4 years ago

Note

Could you rank the Nancy Drew games from your least favorite to favorite?? I’d love to know!

ok! in the form of a tier list bc otherwise i’m sitting around arguing w myself about whether i should rank game x at 22 or 23 or 24 etc etc- and that’s just a mess tbh

untouchable tier: scarlet hand and shadow ranch - tbh i enjoy scarlet hand just a little bit more BUT. on the whole. these two - all the elements that make up these games work together to create a whole greater than the disparate parts. and also having a ‘super extra god-tier’ would be dumb. so we have two.

real güd games: ghost dogs, deception island, blue moon canyon, castle malloy (fight 🔪🔪🔪 me), shadow at the water’s edge, alibi in ashes - all build a strong atmosphere but each for whatever reason doesn’t make me see god. alibi in ashes maybe a touch lower than the rest but only just.

(you might have noticed that i have crystal skull straddling tiers 2&3 - look i know that i like it but it has been a long long time since i’ve gone back to it - for no reason really except that it’s not currently installed on my pc and installing it would involve.. you know.. waiting until it’s installed? anyway it’s there bc i don’t trust my memory on this)

tier 3 games i enjoy but know are flawed: og secrets can kill (self-explanatory really), treasure in a royal tower (because honestly i’ve played it so many times the atmosphere doesn’t really build for me anymore, it’s too automatic and too easy to race through now i know how it’s progression works), blackmoor manor (i just - this game has a lot of elements that don’t quite come together nicely for me. some of them are just a bit too much i think. it’s not even that i don’t enjoy them - but maybe silly ghost hunt AND serious gaslighting AND witchy alchemical shit AND a snarky parrot are too much for just one game?? i understand WHY there are huge tonal shifts bc don’t wanna get too dark n scary in what it ultimately a kids game - but they can be. a bit much.), kapu cave (which i tbh kind of love, but i’m not gonna argue it’s top-teir quality - aside from quigley i mean), and trail of the twister (lot of fucking annoying characters, little to no snooping - but i kind of enjoy just about all of the tasks)

‘meh’ teir: haunted carousel, secret of the old clock, danger by design, phantom of venice, captive curse. captive curse could honestly be lower, but thing is anja is by far the most memorable bit and she’s also far and away the best bit? danger by design could maybe be higher, and then i remember it went ‘nazi romance’ with it’s historical backstory? but jj and the catacombs and honestly the vendors and weird minette- but nazi romance. also every time i play it i’m forced to contend with the fact that i absolutely owned heather’s brown-with-pink-pinstripe pants in ~2006 which is not something i like to revisit. haunted carousel, secret of the old clock, and phantom of venice are the games this tier was made for. there are good elements, sure. but there are also elements that are jarring and/or annoying as fuck.

if this tier list was a pass/fail course, this would be the line separating pass from fail.

‘nah bro’ tier / the ‘i could probably split this into several tiers’ tier: stay tuned for danger, message in a haunted mansion, the final scene - all feel weird to me, they don’t really jibe with the rest of the series. they very much yell “we’re still figuring this shit out”. which is fine and neccessary - but not what i’m looking for most of the time. at the time they were made stay tuned for danger and haunted mansion would pass, but we’re not there anymore. icicle creek is, well. honestly it’s ‘meh’ in it’s truest form, even though i called the last teir meh. the characters all kind of suck, tino the douche shows up again, you have to cook at specific times and that’s a bitch and a half. and there’s no big, stand out element that might bump it up a tier. i don’t actually hate fox and geese though. waverly academy is ass honestly, and if i had added a tier below this waverly would be in it. it’s not quite the worst, but ohmygod it seems to hate teen girls - who are also the target audience for the game, which makes it even worse tbh. and all the puzzles are shit. tomb of the lost queen just kinda sucks. i like it marginally better than waverly, and I do enjoy the hierogylph-decoding puzzles even though they’re absolute NONSENSE bc that type of puzzle appeals to me, but the characters are bad hotchkiss is bad the new interface is bad and i can’t use any of the 800 million oil lamps when nancy needs a light. bad. thornton hall and sea of darkness would be in the waverly tier below this one if i had added that extra tier. thornton hall has atmosphere but absolutely fucking nothing else and the writers straight up did not do their jobs, nothing makes any sense at all. the definition of fake deep tbh. but... atmosphere is enough to save it from the ‘utter shit’ tier below. sea of darkness has nothing going for it and then it had the gall to add chrismas bullshit as though it wasn’t a game released in MAY also I oppose the holidays in general, BUT at least they got a new fucking writer. still not great though.

THROW IT IN THE TRASH tier: secrets can kill: remastered - obvious trash. ransom of the seven ships - no suspects, terrible game mechanics, shittier version of loulou who was honestly already skating on thin ice with me - trash. deadly device - deirdre is shitty, the new interface is still bad, i can BARELY interact with the environment, the characters are nonsense, nothing is appealing, everyone has weird stick-thin gumby arms - TRASH. silent spy - TRASH and also NONSENSE, get your spy/international intruigue/terrorism out of my nancy drew game. alibi in ashes is prime nancy is personally involved in a case material, and spy is the fucking anti-ash. TRASH. labyrinth of lies - TRASH and NONSENSE and peak fake-deep nic-era dialogue - hopelessly up its own ass and doesn’t realise it actually has nothing to say. TRASH. shattered medallion - awful fucking nonsense, somehow nancy cares even less about her friends than she did in ransom, nothing means anything and no one has any clue how tv shows work. also, and i feel like this isn’t stressed enough, turns fuckin nancy into the type of person who would appear on a reality tv show. and why is bess even there? why would she be literally anywhere near this tv show production? it’s bad, it’s nonsensical, and it’s TRASH! throw all of these in the garbage, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

...and i left midnight in salem and the two dossiers out of the ranking bc i haven’t played them. (haven’t actually played secrets can kill 2 either but lbr i don’t need to in order to know it has no redeeming qualities)

erm. ta-daa?

#nancy drew #clue crew #look i'm not gonna tag all of the games #this is very much a ranking of favourites not pretending to adhere to any objective standard #believe it or not this was the concise option #also love anything that lets me ramble on about a tier list #so thank you anon for that #my tastes are objectively good and correct #lmao i really said that mhm is AN ENTIRE TIER WORSE than phantom of venice huh #welp.#i'm pretty sure i misspelled 'tier' every single time i typed it #and had to go back and fix #so hopefully i caught them all because that.. that is very very basic.#anyway #et VOILA!

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miaouerie · 4 years ago

Text

whumptober 2020 ----- day 5. rescue

@whumptober2020 Rebelcaptain Hunger Games AU: Cassian is Jyn’s mentor in the 70th Hunger Games.

content warnings: graphic descriptions of canon-typical violence, minor character deaths (OCs)

previous: day 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

Aside from the clearing that the Cornucopia was in, the 62nd Hunger Games Arena was a huge grassy field, with grass so tall that the tributes who got away from the bloodbath effectively disappeared into it. Spaced far and wide were single-standing pine trees, towering over the grassy sea of green as the only available bastions of shelter. But the grass was so tall that only tributes who had some luck would accidentally stumble upon them.

Cassian wasn’t so lucky. But on the third day he did stumble upon the tributes from District 11 and the tree that they must have been using as a base. They were making far too much noise for what would be prudent, and they definitely didn’t see or hear Cassian observing them from the thicket of grass surrounding the small clearing. As he gets closer, he finds out why.

“Arbor, we have to kill him,” a female voice is saying. Cassian mentally plays back the list of tributes who are still alive. The speaker must be Teak, then. “Why did you even bother to drag him back here? When he wakes up he’s going to kill both of us!”

When Cassian chances a peek through the grass, he’s crouched at the eye level of Teak’s knee, staring from behind her tanned legs at a body on the ground, past which he can see Arbor standing close by. The unconscious heap looks to be the male tribute from District 2, Helix. And Arbor’s hand is gripping the handle of a double-headed axe.

“We don’t have to,” Arbor’s insisting, his voice pitched in a way that indicates how long they’ve been arguing for. “That’s exactly what they want us to do.”

“Yes! That’s why Fauna sent you the axe. Because she and Lobo agree that you can kill with it better than me! Whoever sent it most definitely didn’t mean for me to have it.” A pause. “It’d be a cleaner kill than I could do, that’s for sure. Less… chopping.”

“We shouldn’t have to kill though, Teak. That’s the bloodsport that they want to see. That’s why they sent an axe, out of all the weapons they could’ve. But see, instead of becoming murderers we can lay down low, survive ‘til the end like the smart ones do—”

“And what, getting away with not killing each other?” Teak scoffs. “It’s in the rules. They’ll have only one of us be the victor.”

“We can cross that bridge when we get there. For now, I think we should wait for this guy to wake up and see if he wants to ally.”

“—which I’m saying, isn’t gonna happen. He’s a Career! I still can’t believe that you got the drop on him before he could turn around and kill you. But what I’m saying is, he’s not going to wake up all brand new and say ‘Oh gee, an alliance with District 11 sounds like a fantastic idea!’”

The machete’s handle is sweaty in Cassian’s grip. If he can sneak up on Arbor, he’s pretty sure Teak won’t fight back. She might run, she might not, but from the looks of it she doesn’t have any large weapon to worry about. Now, how to get Arbor closer to the edge of the clearing…

But before Cassian can think of a plan, the Career between the two springs up and bellows bloody murder. Helix is a hulking powerhouse of an 18-year old, and he immediately goes for Teak. Cassian uses the distraction to dash round the edge of the clearing to Arbor’s undefended back and then he leaps out of the tall grass, throwing his arms around the boy’s neck.

Arbor stumbles, but doesn’t fall over, and while he still has the shock of surprise Cassian slashes down at the older boy’s torso with the machete, using the opportunity to kick at Arbor’s griphold on the axe.

It works. He has precious few seconds to finish him off. But Arbor’s neck is slippery with sweat, and Cassian almost slips off his back when the dark-skinned boy reaches around back, gets a grip on Cassian’s left leg, and pulls.

They both end up on the ground, with Cassian getting the wind knocked out of him from the impact. His only saving grace is that when he’s able to roll himself over Arbor’s already on his knees, raising a hand to the deep gash Cassian’s machete tore into his side. Cassian had felt the blade cleave all the way to the bones of his ribcage, cutting through even as they fell to the ground. Cassian forces himself to move past the pain in his diaphragm and staggers forward, pushing at Arbor’s shoulder to turn him just enough so that he can slash his machete into his gut.

Don’t kill quickly, his father’s words come to mind. The longer you let them bleed out, the higher your ratings. Sponsors will see that and want to see more of it. That’s when I can send you supplies.

So once Cassian has assured himself that Arbor is incapacitated he goes for Helix, who is caught up in pummeling Teak against the trunk of the tree. Dropping the machete and snatching up Arbor’s axe, he uses both hands to swing it and drive the blade straight into the Career’s back.

Helix lets out an anguished yell as he falls over; Teak slides down the trunk of the tree, retching out blood. None of them are in any condition to fight Cassian, but he still wants to make this quick.

But should he? Or should he prolong it for the cameras, throw in a taunt or three? Helix is moaning on the ground; he might have fought through a concussion for a last-ditch attempt to kill, but there’s no way he’s moving anywhere with that axe embedded in his spine. Arbor is bleeding out, having rolled onto his back during the fray. And Teak…

Cassian looks at her mangled face where a lot of the Career’s blows landed. When she speaks her words are slurred and blood dribbles out of her bleeding mouth. “Just… jus’ get on with it already.”

In the seconds that follow and for the rest of his life, Cassian will always hate himself for what he says next: “I can’t.”

He moves around to the opposite side of the tree’s trunk and begins to climb up the tree. The roar of blood in his ears has subsided with the slowing of adrenaline, and he feels suddenly hyperaware of the stillness in the clearing. The bark scrapes under his boots as he boosts himself up the trunk, eventually edging himself out over the clearing on one of the pine’s lower branches.

While he’s climbing Teak screams at him between gargles and gasps for breath. “Where the fuck are you going? What the fuck are you doing? Just kill us already! Put us out of this misery!

“What are you waiting for?!”

Hours pass. Cassian keeps wishing for another tribute to come, ideally another bloodthirsty Career who wouldn’t hesitate to finish off three dying tributes and add those kills to their tally; if they spot him, maybe they can kill him, too. But no one else comes.

Teak’s screaming turns into moans and sobbing and eventually hiccups and silence as the artificial sun moves through its path in the artificial sky. A cannon eventually sounds, and before dusk two more follow. Cassian stays hidden in the tree until he remembers that even if he plans to stay in the tree for the night, he’ll have to move away from it first so that the hovercraft can pick up the bodies. So he maneuvers back down the trunk, being careful to avoid the side where Teak’s broken body lay.

He considers Helix’s body lying a short distance away, then decides against trying to yank the axe out. It wasn’t a weapon he could confidently wield, so he instead looks for his machete and finds it near where he grappled with Arbor. Arbor has a near-empty skein of water on him, so he takes that too.

Then he heads into the grass, waiting until he hears the sound of the hovercraft moving in to take away the dead tributes. Then he quietly moves back.

As he hoists himself back up onto the lowest branch of the tree, somehow a silver parachute comes to land gently on the junction of two branches an arm’s length in front of him. He unwraps it. His stomach growls. On a golden platter is a small cake, elegantly frosted and wrapped with tiny silver cutlery, and he’s reminded that in this Arena he hasn’t managed to find much to eat since before the Games.

On the cake are three words written in fancy piped icing. Reading them makes him want to cry.

His real birthday always came during a time of distress in the Andor family; because of the time of year his father was almost guaranteed to be in the Capitol, busy with victor and mentor duties for the Games. Instead, his family would celebrate his birthday on the day of the autumnal equinox, a safe space in between the conclusion of that year’s Games and Victory Tour.

But this year, he’s here in the Arena and his father has to arrange sponsorships for him to outlast killing other children and his mother is watching all of this happen on a nationwide broadcast. So he looks into the blank space of air before him, says “Thank you,” with his best teary-eyed smile, and begins to eat.

#whumptober2020 #no.5 #rescue #rogue one #hunger games #fic #sacchi writes #cassian andor #cassian andor centric #violence #for the prompt: cassian's dad rescues him from hunger #okay next two fills aren't as much of a stretch as this one is i promise!!

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spyroforlife · 5 years ago

Text

Oh no I wrote a full thing based on this post I did a while back haha enjoy some fluff that got more emotional than I expected

- - -

Dib was already ranting as he walked into Zim's base, shrugging out of his coat and tossing it onto a table as he crossed to the couch. “-got like three projects due within the week and end of the year tests coming up and Dad still keeps trying to get me to intern at his lab every weekend...”

“Did I fucking ask?” Zim snapped, looking up from his tablet with a scowl.

Dib just invited himself right onto the couch, flopping down and continuing to complain, “And don't even get me started on Dad nagging me about college...” He pulled his boots off and dropped them carelessly on the floor. Only when he had done that did he finally acknowledge the death glare Zim was giving him. “Call me pathetic if you want, but your place is about the only place I can go to get away from things for a while.”

“It's not my fault you decided to sign up for all AP classes for your last semester of high school,” Zim said, rolling his eyes. “Don't you fledgling humans try to take it easy during your very last year of adolescent schooling?”

“Most people do, yeah. But apparently I'm supposed to have 'higher standards' for myself.” Dib did finger quotes. “Whatever, at least it's almost done.”

“Right. Now if you don't mind, I'm working.”

Dib moved over to try and looked at his tablet, and got a boot in the face for his efforts. Zim hissed at him and Dib grabbed his ankle, shoving his foot aside. “What are you working on, huh? Let me see.”

“Get away from me, hair beast!”

They spent a few seconds wrestling for the tablet, Dib trying to grab for Zim's wrists while Zim kicked at his face and chest. Dib's superior height gave him quite the reach advantage, but Zim wasn't afraid to fight dirty. But Zim quickly noticed that Dib didn't seem to have as much energy as usual, and moments later his suspicions were confirmed as Dib yawned and took a lazy swipe for the tablet that Zim easily avoided.

“Ugh, I don't even care, your plans suck anyway...”

“What? Say that a little louder, you insolent piece of-” Zim's antennae perked as Dib slumped against him, body falling limp. “Eh? Dib-stink?” He prodded Dib's forehead and leaned him back, then realized his eyes were closed. He fell asleep?! That, or passed out. “Dib?”

There was no answer. Zim squinted in confusion, dropping an antenna to hover it next to Dib's nose. He felt air and confirmed that he was still breathing.

“You humans are so weak and pathetic,” Zim sighed, pushing Dib off himself and moving away. He looked back at his tablet, scrolling through the plan he was working on. But he kept stealing glances at his foe, expecting him to wake up any moment now, loudly huffing and making comments about humans having zero energy. And still, Dib slept.

Honestly, it was sad. Zim enjoyed their rivalry, he used to find it annoying but now he looked forward to matching wits and might with the human. He greatly respected him as an enemy and even trusted him as a friend. Well, kind of. It was complicated, but Zim did know he could rely on Dib to help him when he had no other options, and he liked spending time with the other. They've had many deep discussions in recent years and it was pleasant spending time with another intellectual. Not that Zim would ever admit that out loud.

So, rather than feel glad that Dib was quiet and nonthreatening right now, Zim found himself feeling disappointed. That hadn't been much of a fight. Nowhere near as glorious as their battles usually were. They needed to settle it properly. And to do that, Dib would need to be properly rested.

Zim set his tablet aside and picked up the remote to lower the volume on the TV. It was getting dark outside, so he asked Computer to dim the lights in the living room. Once that was done, Zim shifted closer to Dib, examining him curiously. The human looked rather peaceful, his expression calm and without the stress he so often carried these days. Zim carefully took his glasses off and put them aside, then kept gazing at his face. It was strange that Dib would leave himself vulnerable like this. But then, he didn't seem to fall asleep by choice. He really was that exhausted.

Zim's gaze traveled further. The other was laying on his side, curled up a bit, knees pulled up against his chest and head resting on an arm. It was almost... cute.

Zim growled at himself and tore his eyes away. He was not going to entertain that line of thought anymore. Of course Dib wasn't cute. He was a gross, primitive alien that was going to belong to the Irken Empire one day. Zim might even force him to be his personal slave as payback for all the trouble he's caused him. Sure, Dib was tall, and smart, and he had that delightful sharpness to his eyes and a sort of weird quirk to the corner of his lip when he smiled that was positively delightful and-

And Zim forcibly derailed that train of thought and tried to ignore how his face grew warm and tingly.

Dib groaned and shifted around, and Zim saw him shift his head off his arm, though he continued sleeping. He looked uncomfortable though, his head tilted at an odd angle. Humans generally slept with pillows. Perhaps they needed their heads elevated while sleeping, Zim reasoned. He debated over what to do next, he could easily just grab Dib's coat and fold that up to put under his head, or he could let Dib rest against him...

He sighed and added this to the long list of things his enemy would have to suffer for, and moved closer, pulling Dib's head up onto his lap. He looked ahead at the quiet TV, mumbling to himself about all the shortcomings of humanity. His attempt to distract himself from the awkward situation failed. The show was boring and his mind wandered to how nice it was having the other's weight on him, his warmth seeping through Zim's clothes, and when Zim let his right hand rest on Dib's shoulder, he felt the other gently shift in closer to him, body curling up even more.

Zim's face grew warmer and he asked himself why he was doing this. Yes, of course he wanted his enemy well-rested so they could continue fighting, but... why was he doing this specifically? Why was he letting Dib lay on him rather than just walk away and wait? What did he gain?

Comfort, a small voice whispered. This was comforting. It was domestic and tender and... it made his heart ache but felt good at the same time. He shouldn't like this. Invaders worked alone. He was trained to be a single cog in the huge machine of the Irken Empire. His loyalty was to his Tallest alone. Irken soldiers were not supposed to desire companionship. It was an unspoken taboo.

Yet here he was. On a distant, unremarkable planet an entire galaxy away from his own. Sitting on the couch with an alien creature curled up next to him, asleep and trusting. And it was nice. It felt right.

“You're pathetic,” Zim whispered to himself. He could be honest with himself when no one was around to hear. “It was bad enough when you grew attached to GIR, and to Computer and Minimoose... and now you're attached to him? Your enemy? Why? What is it about him? You shouldn't be doing this. You need to shove him off. Tell him to go sleep at home and challenge you in the morning once he's suitably recharged. Just... just push him away. Right now.”

But he didn't. He stayed there, listening to Dib's steady breathing, even starting to rub slowly along the other's shoulder. His hand slipped down past where Dib's sleeve ended, fingers glancing over skin. Dib twitched but didn't wake up, and Zim figured the feel of his glove must have surprised the other. It probably was a little cool.

Zim lifted his hand and tugged the glove off, setting it down and moving his hand back to Dib's arm. He reached out slowly, at first only letting the very pads of his fingers touch the other before pulling away. As soon as he did, he registered the warmth of Dib's skin and the softness of it. Zim moved his hand back, now resting it fully on Dib, and he closed his eyes as he savored the human's body heat. How were they so warm? Of course he had studied human vital signs and knew what their internal temperature was, but to think they were so warm even on their skin like this...

Zim's internal argument continued to rage. This was unacceptable. He was out of uniform for one, but also, his hands were sensitive and he was opening himself up to injury or disease by touching an alien lifeform without a glove!

“Disgusting, putrid, inferior creature,” he murmured as he slowly began petting Dib's arm. “How dare you give me these feelings. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't want to do this. I should throw you out the door right now.”

Dib slept on, peacefully unaware. Zim curiously moved his hand up, drifting his fingers against Dib's hair instead. He covered his mouth to muffle the shocked noise that escaped him. It was even softer than the skin! Well, perhaps it was a little messy, matted in places and definitely could be washed more often... but he still found himself fascinated with the texture, running his fingers through it over and over again. He's grabbed Dib by the hair before, yanked him around, or just ruffled it to tease him. But that was always with his gloves on. He never realized just how soft the other's hair was until now.

He decided to just stop arguing with himself. His feelings right now were new and confusing and he just didn't want to deal with it. He was going to stay in the moment, enjoying the feel of Dib's hair between his fingers and the warmth against his body, and let himself be content.

Several minutes passed. Zim relaxed more and more as he got used to this, leaning back and smiling when he felt Dib move a hand to his leg and just hold onto it, apparently enjoying their newfound peace just as much. Humans sure did move a lot during their sleep cycles, didn't they? But then he felt Dib's breathing slow further, and his antennae picked up the other's heart rate going down. Not by much, but it was notable. These were the signs of deep sleep, Zim had learned back when he first arrived. It was fascinating watching it happen naturally and not due to him drugging a human into sleep to watch the entire process on monitors. Entirely for scientific purposes of course.

This was when humans began dreaming, he knew. He wondered what Dib would dream about. Probably something weird. Dib was very imaginative and his many encounters with the supernatural probably led to some vivid dreams. Maybe Zim will ask him when he wakes up.

To Zim's surprise, Dib thrashed slightly, baring his teeth for a moment and groaning. His fingers dug against Zim's leg.

“What's wrong?” Zim asked.

Dib shook, muttering something that didn't seem to be English. It was just a garbled phrase that likely made sense only in his dream. Zim frowned. Was Dib having a nightmare? Why would he not just wake up from it, then? That's what the humans in the shows seemed to do, they would just scare themselves awake from their nightmares.

Maybe it was more difficult in real life. Should Zim wake him up then? Whatever he was seeing must be really distressing him, based on the tremors going down his back and the way he nervously kneaded at Zim's leg. Then again, if Zim woke him now, he might just get punched in the face. He's woken Dib up a few times before and the reaction was usually violent.

Zim chewed his lip as he tried to decide what to do, and while Dib's movements slowed, he kept shaking, whimpering now. Zim sighed and resumed stroking his hair, using long, slow passes that went partway down his neck before going back up to the top of his head. As he did, he began singing softly. It was an old irken lullaby that never quite went away over the generations, even as natural births declined and test tube smeets became the norm. The comforting melody persisted no matter how society changed and even now was used among friends and loved ones to soothe their worries. Zim had always liked the song but never imagined he would ever use it. But the words came easily to him nonetheless, and though Dib couldn't possibly understand the lyrics, he relaxed in response to the tune, his shaking slowing and then stopping altogether. He stopped whimpering as well, instead seeming to hum for a couple notes before falling silent.

“That's it,” Zim whispered, leaning forward and seeing that Dib's expression was peaceful again. “Those nightmares aren't real. You're safe.” He leaned back and continuing singing, closing his eyes as he did. He felt a little silly, but at least Dib could finish resting. And they could keep fighting. Because that's why he was doing this. To get Dib back into fighting shape. Yep.

It was about thirty minutes later when Dib woke up. He woke up slowly, feeling so warm and comfortable he almost didn't want to get up. Then he felt someone stroking his hair with slender fingers and heard a familiar voice singing above him.

He kept his eyes closed as he rushed to piece together where he was and what was happening. He had gone over to Zim's base to hang out just to get away from his own house for a bit. He had playfully fought with him for a while... he remembered being really tired the whole time. He must have fallen asleep.

He realized those were Zim's fingers running through his hair, unbelievably gentle and comforting. And that was Zim's voice singing in a tone softer than Dib has ever heard him use. He recognized the words as irken, and though he didn't understand them, he somehow just knew it was a lullaby. He's heard Zim swear at him before in irken, or mutter to himself, and it always seemed so harsh, but this was different. The lyrics were pronounced with trills, chirps, and purrs. He never expected to hear something so sweet from Zim. Who knew he could sing like that?

As he woke up more fully, his brain started going a thousand miles an hour. Why was Zim holding him and singing a lullaby to him? Sure, things have been better between them in recent years, but they were still enemies. Zim could have done any number of terrible things as soon as he fell asleep. He could have thrown him outside. He could have attacked him, or taken him into his lab to experiment on, he could even have seized the chance and killed him! But he didn't do any of that. They were still on the couch from what he could feel, his head was in Zim's lap, and the other's bare hand was playing with his hair.

Something about it really got to him and he found himself feeling emotional, chest tightening. He wondered if it was because he liked Zim, or if it was just that he was so lonely he would take any affectionate touch right now. Maybe it was a mix of both. He felt so safe here with the other, Zim's attention was bizarre yet very wanted and Dib found himself thinking that this was what love felt like.

And it was time to nip that in the bud. Ignoring that happy warmth in his chest, Dib opened his eyes and pushed himself up, pulling away from Zim with what he hoped was a convincing scowl. “Oh ew, I fell asleep on you? I'm out of here, I need to make sure you didn't take any of my organs.” He jumped up and Zim growled, getting to his feet as well.

Dib was partway to the door before realizing his glasses were missing and he still needed to put his boots and coat on.

“Forgetting something?” Zim asked, holding the glasses by an earpiece and giving it a wave.

Dib turned and went to grab them from him, sliding them on and then rushing through putting on his boots and coat, all while Zim teased him.

“Haha, so pathetic that you fell asleep mid battle, but now we can continue!”

“We could... or I could just go home, your lullaby really helped get rid of my stress. Thanks for that!” Dib grinned and ran for the door, swinging it open.

“Wha- hey! What lullaby?” Zim shouted. When Dib ran outside, Zim let out an irken swear and chased after him, hastily pulling his glove back on. “Get back here and fight me!”

“You gotta catch me first, bug!” Dib called over his shoulder. He couldn't help but laugh at the way the other glared at him. “And you might wanna put on your disguise if you're going to follow me.”

Zim let out a yelp and quickly ran back into the house to get his disguise. When he ran back after Dib, he was laughing, and Dib laughed too. “You're going to suffer greatly when I catch you, Earth-filth!”

“If you catch me, cicada!”

Dib may not know exactly why Zim chose to hold him throughout his nap and sing to him, but he felt like in some small way, they had bonded just a little more while he slept. And judging from the way Zim was smiling at him, he felt the same.

#invader zim #zadr #zim #dib #writing #my writing #fluff #one-shot #it probably isn't very in character #but i wanted to write something cute and chose the boys #it's MY blog and I get to choose the ships

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scrunchie-face · 4 years ago

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My ranking of TS8 based on absolutely nothing but my personal opinion

From least to most favorite:

peace: this is the only song on the album i really don’t like. her accent/cadence sounds a little affected to me and there aren’t any lyrics or musical moments that really resonate.

invisible string: i feel like i might get some pushback on this since so many people seemed to LOVE this one but hear me out. This one is clearly about Joe and their relationship and for me, there is not a single song about him that she has written that has been as good as “Call It What You Want” and “New Year’s Day.” Every other song she has written since then about being happily in a relationship with Joe has fallen flat for me. Also, I’m not gonna lie, the more cynical and less romantic side of me finds the whole concept of the “invisible string” to be a bit trite and saccharine. “Isn’t it just so pretty?” To me, yes, it is a pretty thought and that’s all it is.

mirrorball: this song is pretty, and reminds me very strongly of the Speak Now era, but with the complexity and maturity that she’s obviously acquired since then. That being said, to me the metaphor feels like it’s trying to go in two different directions at once and neither one quite gets there, leaving a song that feels somewhat unfinished. It’s either a very pretty love song or a darker reflection on identity, but it never feels like it commits to either.

august: this is where we really start to get into “there’s nothing really wrong with it, I just like other tracks better” territory. Lyrically, I think it’s very poignant, with its reflections on love, time, and memory. Unfortunately, I think the whole “Teenage Love Triangle” hint actually does this song a disservice by indicating that the speaker is the “other woman.” Since the bent of the other two songs (”cardigan” and “betty”) seems to indicate that those two singers/speakers are the couple that is “meant to be” it gives the poor unnamed “august” singer a bit of an uphill battle for sympathy in context. That’s not to say I don’t have any sympathy for her; I have by far the least sympathy for James. Unfortunately, James gets a catchier song (more on that when i get to “betty”). Which brings me to the real reason for this low-ish ranking: I just don’t find the song as musically compelling as most of the others on the album.

this is me trying: as I suggested in the previous paragraph, a lot of the way I rank songs personally is by how much the music resonates with me. I can forgive a lot lyrically if the way the music moves gives me goosebumps. With “this is me trying,” there are several lyrics that I love. The repeated “I have a lot of regrets about that”? PERFECTION. Musically, however, the song as a whole doesn’t really impress itself upon me, making all but the couple lyrics I really love forgettable to me.

mad woman: this song, and the two on either side of it, were ranked somewhat arbitrarily. higher than “this is me trying” for having a little more edge and a more engaging tune, lower than “hoax” because I generally prefer sadness and angst to anger. This is by far the most vindictive track on the album, and while I understand it and think it’s executed very well, the tone isn’t totally appealing to me personally.

hoax: this song, to me, has a very strong Hozier vibe that I enjoy very much. As i said in my blurb about “mad woman” I connect more emotionally with the sadness and turmoil here, hence its higher ranking. “stood on the cliffside screaming ‘give me a reason’“?! Gorgeous, and if you’ve ever felt that way, the line resonates in your bones. “the only hoax I believe in” is such a complex line that I could probably write paragraphs about it; it’s got psychological, emotional, and even religious elements to it that I think are part of what makes such a sad and personal song still feel universally relatable. It asks you, what are your hoaxes? Which ones do you believe? Is it because you want to? Because you have to? betty: ranking this song was difficult, because i find the character of James to be incredibly irritating. Unfortunately, the questionable nature of James’ behavior and attitude towards Betty and the unnamed girl is not enough to condemn the song to a lower ranking because the tune is just so catchy and fun. It’s got one of the best hooks on the album: the rhyming of “Inez” and “she says” just delights me every time. The “--most times--” caveat is amusing and very in character for a teenager trying to explain himself. And then “the worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you.” It sounds super trite, yes, but it would’ve probably gotten my forgiveness when I was seventeen. Also I love “will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?” Bold words for someone in James’ position but I love the bravado and the way it pairs with the music. The triumph here may be premature but it’s SUPER contagious. epiphany: so this one is perhaps the most arbitrarily placed because I realized when I got the the end of my list that I had forgotten it.... BUT that being said, I really like this song. It seems to be one of the more divisive on the album; people either love it or think it’s boring. I like it a lot. When we talk about big events--wars, pandemics--it’s very easy to distance ourselves from them and forget that those more affected than we are are people too. This song gently rehumanizes the people we see in books and newspapers and tv reports, reminding us that they are suffering, they are trying, and reminding them that they are seen and loved. It’s extremely beautiful and moving.

the 1: based on my previous claims that the music is my most important factor in song ranking, this one may seem unfairly high. Like with “peace” I find the accent/modulation of her voice in this song to be somewhat affected and irritating. The tune, while fun and catchy, doesn’t really have much power behind it. But I enjoy it just enough that, paired with some absolutely spot-on lyrics, this becomes a song I was deeply attached to from the first listen. Anyone who has ever had an important relationship that came to nothing will recognize the brief emotional rollercoaster of “I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn’t though,” and feel absolutely convicted by the bridge. “persist and resist the temptation to ask you/ if one thing had been different/ would everything be different today?” If you’ve lost a friend or a lover, you’ve tormented yourself with that question, I guarantee it. Even off her musical A-game, she absolutely nails the emotions here, and I love it.

my tears ricochet: this song actually started out pretty close to the bottom and slowly made its way up. Honestly, the reason for its low ranking was that I still can’t quite figure out what it means. Taylor occasionally writes songs that are very hard to tease out into any sort of linear narrative or neat metaphor; you feel them more than you understand them. And for that reason it usually takes me a little more time to get to a point where I appreciate them. The relationship here is tangled; it’s not the simple bad guy/good girl that we would’ve seen in the Speak Now era, and I would argue that at times it’s unclear which party is even the speaker. Once my analytical mind got past that hurdle, I remembered that this is one of the most musically powerful songs on the album. The bridge? GOOSE.BUMPS. The way the music builds and pounds at “just not home... in your bones.” Shivers. Even if I don’t totally understand what the song means, i can feel the conviction and emotion in the words and music and that is what makes it such a pleasure to listen to.

cardigan: this song is simply beautiful. just lovely. sad and nostalgic and hopeful and it just hits on some stuff that is absolutely true. “when you are young they assume you know nothing./ But I knew you.” I recently had a conversation with my husband about this very concept. This idea that adults look down on young people simply because they don’t have “perspective.” But the truth is that young people know something very important: what it is like to be young and to experience things AS A YOUNG PERSON. Not as an adult looking back on being young, but as a person to whom these experiences are fresh and real and important. “cardigan” takes that whole concept: the struggle between youthful experience and adult perspective, and absolutely NAILS IT. Add in a touch of the sentiments from “the 1″: “i knew you’d haunt all of my what ifs.... i knew i’d curse you for the longest time,” and combine it with a melody that rises and falls and slows down and speeds up and you just have this gorgeous tribute to youth and life and love.

illicit affairs: i love this song so so much. I’ve never been in an “illicit affair,” but the regret and the confusion and the attachment and the love and the hate and the feeling of being trapped are all so raw and visceral that even if you’ve never felt anything like this before in your life you can feel it now. Underneath the fairly simple melody of “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby,” you can hear the screaming anger and heartbreak. “look at this idiotic fool that you made me!” Gah. I can’t even. It’s just so real. So there. This is a song that you both understand AND feel and it’s so powerful it’s almost overwhelming. Taylor and her killer bridges absolutely ending me every time.

the last great american dynasty: this song is so fun. The story is funny and sad except the indomitable Rebecca doesn’t for a moment let you feel sorry for her. As soon as you see her pacing the rocks looking out over the ocean--a wistful, often angst-ridden position--the song turns right around and informs you that she stole a neighbor’s dog and dyed it green. And then, “and then it was bought by me.” The story has been so definitively about someone ELSE this time until suddenly SURPRISE! The twist at the end is delightful; every story we tell, every story we love, we tell it and love it because it’s about us too. And like i said, there is a quiet undercurrent of sadness and loneliness that never becomes the focal point of the song but is there giving it depth and something more to think about that facts and funny anecdotes. This song is a unique one in Taylor’s discography, and it stands up very well to that status.

exile: is my love for this song partially colored by the fact that Justin Vernon’s voice makes me swoon? Probably. The duet between him and Taylor is hair-raisingly beautiful and heartachingly melancholy. But that aside, I think the thing that first caught my attention was Taylor’s verse. The “staring honey/understudy/knuckles bloody” rhyme drives me absolutely WILD. It’s SO GOOD. It flows perfectly and poetically and honestly i transcend my body and scream with delight into the ether at those three lines every time. That is not an exaggeration. Also, “I’m not your problem anymore, so who am I offending now?” And of course the juxtaposition between “never gave a warning sign (i gave so many signs)” is this perfect description of how, to quote another, much older, lyric “miscommunication leads to fallout.” This song reminds me very much of “Story of Us.” In case you couldn’t tell from previous comments, this whole album, for me, recalls Speak Now, very strongly in many ways. I see her revisiting a lot of similar themes and stories with a more mature perspective and a different sound. Red as well, actually, but I digress.

seven: i knew from very early on that this would be my favorite song on the album. Taylor’s voice goes places I have NEVER heard before, evoking something elemental and primal. “Before I learned civility/ I used to scream ferociously/ any time I wanted.” Her forays into actual childhood in her songwriting are periodic but relatively rare, and this is unquestionably the best of the lot. Here we see children, almost too young to remember exactly what happened, but marked forever by their experiences of nature and relationships. “I can’t recall your face/ I’ve still got love for you.” This song evokes all the things that dance around the edge of your memory: faces from long ago, the feeling of flying, the fear of falling, the irresistible impulse to plant yourself on the ground and fling your existence out into the world with your voice. The need to feel safe. The references to a friend’s troubled home life are oblique: “your dad is always mad... you won’t have to cry or hide in the closet,” and the solutions are childlike: “come live with me...and be pirates,” “move to India forever.” The song is an immersive experience, charged with feelings you can’t quite express, but that you know and remember, although they are perhaps faded a bit around the edges.

#taylor swift #folklore #ts8 #phew that was way more than i intended it to be #glad i did it tho

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