#I clean my house from Opening -> Chant I and then usually get started on something else from Chant I -> ?? and turn it off when I-

[iamthepulta]

Singing Hadestown is still a straight dopamine shot and it makes me so happy. When I'm having trouble getting off the couch, just the first few notes of the horn will drag me up.

[emmyfairy]

The Concert Eddie Munson x Reader

Eddie Munson did not think of you as a friend. 

Not in a bad way, you were always civil to one another and whatnot, but your paths did not often cross socially. 

You had a few shared classes when you were both in high school, but while he stayed after for Hellfire, you had stayed for book club. 

Same solar system, different planets. 

Once he had finally graduated and gotten a job at the new music store in town, he was pleasantly surprised to see you cross his path more often. 

You were a frequent costumer, buying records and tapes, often from the sale bin which he could relate to, and if he snuck in his employee discount what was the hurt? 

Eddie was glad the two of you were growing into acquaintances, having multiple mutual friends helped, and Eddie hoped- into friends. 

He always knew you were the quiet type, rarely raising your hand in class, and even now, shy greetings whenever you see him in the shop or the grocery store, or at the library you worked at when he just had to reread The Silmarillion. 

But, it was getting better. He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face whenever he thought about it, how much more open you were getting with him- and him with you. You never made him feel judged, he really liked spending time with you. More than he let himself admit. 

The blossoming friendship he thought was forming began to cloud with doubt one Wednesday morning as he watched you make your way into the shop, and up to the counter he was leaning behind. 

“Hey sweetheart.”

“Morning Eddie.”

You didn’t look at him when you greeted him, and while it gave him a chance to admire your chosen outfit for the day and the way the sunlight helped you glow, he didn’t like the nervous twirling of your hands. 

Narrowing his eyes at you and pushing himself off of the wall he encroached you, 

“Everything all right sweetheart? We got a new shipment of Queen, you wanna take a look?” 

Your eyes were darting around, weight shifting from one foot to the other, still not looking at him and damn Eddie hated it. A sinking feeling started to pit in his stomach. 

Were you mad at him? Did he do something wrong? Say something wrong? Did he-

You finally spoke up, cutting off his thoughts, 

“I have some tickets to a show…”

Trailing off you seemed to be digging for some courage, 

“They’re to Iron Maiden, I really want to go. I loved that tape you made me but I can’t go on my own. And-and I know you like them so I was wondering if you wanted to go with me? Together? Ya’know if you’re not busy or,”

It was Eddie’s turn to cut you off, 

“Dammit princess you had me scared there.”

He sighs out in overly dramatic relief, leaning back and placing a hand over his chest,

“Of course I’ll go with you, don’t know what you’re so nervous about. I love Iron Maiden and I love y- hanging out with you.”

Good save idiot

The relieved smile that spreads across your face makes his heart skip a few beats, mouth drying, 

“Really? That’s great Eddie! The venue is a bit far, I’ll pay for gas but I was hoping…”

“I’ll drive sweetheart no issue there, and don’t worry your little head about gas.”

He knew you got nervous driving in unfamiliar areas, and he’d drive you to the end of the earth if you asked. 

Afterwards, having given him the needed information and whatnot the two of you had listened to the new records the store had recently gotten in. 

Eddie watched you, head bobbing along, internally cursing every customer that came in and interrupted your time together. 

He couldn’t wait for the concert. 

Eddie Munson didn’t do nervous, at least that’s what he was chanting to himself in his head. In reality the boy had changed outfits all of thirty times, attempted to tame his frazzled hair, and cleaned his boots off to the best of his ability. 

So, not his usual pre-concert routine. 

He was on his way to your house, his stomach threatening to drop out of his ass the entire ride. 

Why the hell am I so fucking nervous? 

Oh, he knew why, he just wouldn’t admit it. 

Eddie was planning on going up to your door all gentlemanly, but as soon as he had pulled up, you were bounding down the pathway towards his van. 

Thankful that he had left the windows open a few hours to get rid of as much of the smoke and fumes as he could, he watched as you paused before the door. Gently tugging it open and peering up at him. 

“Hi.”

God damn it you’re so fucking cute. 

Eddie cleared his throat, cheeks betraying him and pinking,

“Ready sweetheart?”

You climbed into his passenger seat, 

A throne for m’lady, he thought. 

“Yup!”

Here we go.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to reblog and comment! Part 2? 🤔

[denjirv]

დ .•*””*•House Husband•*””*•.დ

Aki Hayakawa gets pegged by his wife throughout the day

⏤͟͟͞͞☆A/N: I DID IT!! AND ON A SCHOOL DAY NO LESS it's some silly thing I wanted to finally write and get my writing skills warmed up again

CW// reader is AFAB but a femdom with sub!Aki, minor spanking and edging with overstimulation at the end Aki knew as soon as he put that ring on your finger you’d be a handful. And even more so he’d notice how unusually horny you’d get whenever you see him take on a more “wifely role” around the house. Doing the laundry, scrubbing the dishes and even making sure you have lunch before heading off to work. He was more of a wife than you were, and even when you try taking on those roles he insists you rest because “you had a long day at work remember?” he says But something came into your mind, it made you giggle to yourself as you clicked on a few links and borrowed Aki’s credit card. And within a few days later it came knocking on your doorstep. “There’s a package at the front, you ordered something dear?” Aki wiping his hands with the soft white towel after making some lunch curry he picks up the brown box and places it on the counter. “Ohhh that must be me!” Heading out from the bedroom you see the brown mystery box as your eyes widen “What did you order?” He tilted his head curiously as you grabbed a pair of scissors from the draw and sliced the line from the tapped entrance. “Oh just something for me to do while you go around the house” You pulled it out in front of him. From confusion to embarrassment Aki’s face grew red once he saw a purple phallic object on the box cover. “A-A…strap…on?” Aki thinks this must be a joke but once he sees you tear open the top part to pull out the 6 inch toy he knew you were serious. “I bought tons of lube too so don’t worry about it hurting” Aki wants to bury the memory but seeing the length brings him back to the time where you two had some “experiments” in the bedroom and for a short period of time butt stuff has been the main subject. “And how is this ‘helping’ you with the chores around the house exactly?” Aki mumbled with a deadpan expression but never once did his red cheeks fade, he’s so cute when he tries to look serious. “It’s so that it won’t be boring! Come on, have you ever thought of me balls deep inside you while you make eggs and bacon?” You teased, he looked away not knowing what to say. Cause even if he didn’t want to say for himself the idea does sound tempting. With a sigh he hangs his head low. “We can try this tomorrow, but that’s all ok?” he grabbed your cheek and pinched it lightly, You yelped a bit but laughed knowing that tomorrow was gonna be an amazing day. Aki’s first morning starts off with him trying to flip the eggs and bacon around making sure they don’t burn, but it’s a challenge when his wife was making him almost squeal like a pig in the morning. “So how’s the eggs and bacon making my love?” You chuckle as the first thing in the morning he has his guts pounded by the strapon, his legs shaking and breathing uneasily he feels his hands losing their grip on the frying pan and spatula. “Ghhh not t-too fast!” He can only make small tired but heavenly noises as the pace got quicker, everything felt too much for him. His dark hair falling over his warm and red face with each hard thrust was given to him unmercifully. “I-I need to cum! Cumming cumming c-cummingggg!!”.He spews his words like a chant before his eyes squeezed shut and let out all of the cum onto his apron. The back is wet and sticky as he catches his breath. “B-Breakfast is….burnt” He’d realized he’d haven’t been paying attention to it when he saw the black marks from the corners of the food. “I-I’ll make toast instead” Aki would usually mop the floor since it’s spring cleaning season and it's easier that way but he went for a more traditional style of cleaning and had his hands and knees on the ground. But as he arches his back to move forward while wiping the wooden floors down he can feel the strapon stretching his poor hole out. “Come on honey, you’re almost done let us finish this so you can finally cum” This time purposely edging him you watched as everytime he pushes himself forward you thrust into him to fill that empty feeling Never failing to leave him gasping you kept on continuing until he had one corner left. His knees getting tired from having to keep his balance for so long as his moaning and panting never leaving his lips he sounded desperate. “A-Almost done…just please let me cum” Aki made sure to scrub thoroughly on the floor to make sure no foot tracks were left behind. “Not clean enough, keep going and maybe I’ll consider” Whining in response he starts putting more elbow grease into wiping down the floor. His arms moving at a much more rushed pace once he could only see his fogged reflection from the floor he looked over at you for approval. “I did it! Now please just let me cum already” His eyes were glossy, frustrated from the teasing you laughed at how pathetic he looked so whiny with his pouting lips as you kissed his cheek. “Fine you can cum now” You could’ve sworn as soon as the words left your mouth he started fucking himself more onto your cock. “But if you cum on the floor then you’ll-” But he didn’t hear, he didn’t even think about the mess you’d leave as he started to feel his poor cock twitching with anticipation for any sense of climax. He cums all over the wooden floor, as his upper half falls flat. Arms giving out and his ass still yet in the air he pants like a dog from the second orgasm of the day. “Aki dear” You sang in a sweet tune but when Aki finally gained consciousness from his orgasm high he’d looked down already and saw yet another mess he made. “I’ll clean that up again…” “Such a cute husband you are, if I could ever call you one” laughing you’d see himself ‘stuck’ inside the laundry machine, more like you placing his upper half in there for him to be back on his knees again. “S-Shut up this time you’re just being too cheesy with all of this” He retorts back this time with attitude. Mainly cause he knew how these porn tropes go he thought you’d been more clever than this  “Oh hush you!” You spank his ass once and left him gasping. His ass cheek slowly bruising more red as you kept on fucking him. “Come on my dear ‘wife’ you have to do the laundry” Aki groans in annoyance as he grabs the pair of dirty clothes but drops them when you spanked him once again. “Faster wife! Let’s get those clothes done” Although you were joking around, Aki couldn’t help but give you a glare. Having way too much power over your situation “So much for having dinner” You smiled at the sight in front of you, Aki legs spread on the table with cum splattered all over his poor tummy as his face was soaked in drool, sweat and tears for the overstimulation. Aki had always had a stern look, a very strong aura about him but having him reduced to a crying and hopeless mess filled your heart with love. “You look so adorable like this, now cum for me one more time” You’d knew just tracing your fingers on his red tip was enough to send him to the edge and exactly what you did, trimmed fingernails tracing itself from his shaft to his twitching tip a few strokes made his body shot up and spew out the last reaming cum left in him before he shoots out blanks. “W-We….We’re gon’ need a break after this” Aki rested his head back down onto the hard surface under him as his chest heaves “I’m sorry dear, here let me go run you a nice warm bath” And for once Aki lets you do something around the house. 

[erodasfishtacos]

Acting Up (mini blurb)

thanks sm to Sarah who generously donated to my ko fi. she requested a blurb about mlbrry going to get ice cream as a family so here you go! with a little harry in DAD mode.

—

It was a hot night and the kids were a bit stir-crazy, so was eight-month pregnant YN in the house while Harry had been traveling to play.

“Mama, what’d y’want?” Harry murmurs, hand rubbing her bump as they wait with one hand as he has Ezra propped on his hip on the other side.

“Everything sounds so good,” She groans as she looks over the menu, pregnancy hunger was a real thing.

Her bump was bigger than any of her other pregnancy and she was quite miserable - though trying to make the best out of it.

“I’ll buy y’the whole menu,” Her husband replies as he reviews the menu board in front of them as well.

“Then I’ll be as big as house,” YN quips, hands running through Cash’s curly locks as he hugs her leg

“Just more f’me to love on,” He hums happily, moving to grope her bum a bit until she smacks his off with an eye roll.

He sees out of the corner of his eye his oldest taunting his middle child with goofy faces.

“Easton, enough,” Harry scolds as he sees Cash’s eyebrows furrow as he gets frustrated with his older brother.

Six and four - what an age.

The oldest stops at the firm tone of his father, huffing and giving his brother a dirty look before moving to stand next to his dad.

When they arrive at the order window, a teenage boy steps over to greet them, his mouth drops open as he sees who it is.

“Y-you’re Harry S-Styles,” The kid stutters, his face flushing red and his eyes wide as he stares at the celebrity.

Harry smiles kindly with a chuckle, “I am. Are you fan? Pleasure to meet you.”

“Daddy, why does he know your name?” Cash asked in confusion as he peeks around his father’s leg.

“‘cause he plays babeball, stupid,” Easton replies with an attitude towards his brother.

“Mama!” Cash shrieks offendly.

YN sighs, cupping Harry’s hand on her belly for moment, “Order me a banana split with peanut butter and extra strawberry. I’m going to go talk to East.”

YN pulls Easton to an empty table with enough room for the five of them and also to accommodate her belly.

“Why are you picking on your brother?” YN uses her mom mode voice as she watches her son pout out his lip.

“He stole my dolphin stuffie earlier!”

Of course.

“Is that the proper way to treat him though?” YN questions directly, tilting his chin up so she can make eye contact.

“No mama,” Easton mumbles, struggling to keep his mother’s gaze.

“Will you say sorry to him when he comes over?” YN encourages.

He agrees, lisps out an apology before Harry hands him a bowl of chocolate ice cream with rainbow sprinkles.

After a few minutes, YN winces and stands from the table, a hand going to rest of her back.

“What’s wrong, mama?” Harry asks with concern laced in his tone. He was currently feeding Ezra little bits of strawberry that was dripping down his chin.

“Just my back is achey, I’m just going to stand and eat,” She grumbles, shifting her weight side-to-side as she takes small bites of her banana split.

“Stop it!” Easton whines when Cash sticks his finger into his older brothers bowl and submerges it in his ice cream.

“Cash,” Harry states, reaching for his middle son’s arm “Get y’hand out of your brother’s food, right now.”

Cash listens but snickers when he realizes he’s managed to annoy Easton.

When Harry looks back to his wife, he then hears Cash shouting, “No!”

The parents look back to see Easton with chocolate ice cream as his nice white shirt and Cash with a sticky hand of melted dessert.

“Cash!” YN scolds on frustration, they were really usually good with each other but today was not their day.

She sits down her food to rustled through the diaper bag for wipes. She cleans off Cash’s hands with a pointed stare as Harry reaches over to clean up Easton.

“You’re done,” Harry tells Cash firmly, picking up his son’s bowl that he hadn’t finished and dumping it in the garbage. “Y’don’t get ice cream if y’just goin’ to throw it.”

That sends the middle one into a meltdown and it makes it even worse when Easton taunts, “No more for you!”

It has Cash standing up and darting around the table but Easton sees him and gets up to bolt away from his grasps.

“Stop running right now,” Harry raises his voice, groaning when Ezra starts to whimper at the chaos and holds on to Harry tighter.

“Boys! Listen to your fa-“

Easton darts around his mother but Cash isn’t as agile yet and knocks right into the front of her calves causing her banana split to drop out of her hands and for her to stumble.

“Baby!” Harry panics, instantly moving forward to grab her arm and pulls her towards him so she tumbles into his chest instead of backwards.

“Oh my god,” YN whimpers, her breathing becoming quicker as her heart rate spikes from the scare, hands coming to her bump.

The boys are frozen still were they’re at. Eyes wide and tears welling at the fear their mother got hurt by them

“Mama, y’alright? Sweetheart, I know Y’got scared. Breathe for me,” Harry soothes more worried about his wife than scolding his kids.

“If I would have fallen,” YN is tearing up, anxiety spiking through her chest at the thought of the baby getting hurt.

Harry is breathing heavier than he’d like to admit too.

“Don’t cry, s’okay. The baby is perfect, y’keeing them so nice and safe, bein’ a perfect mama,” He assures her, kissing her temple and brushing away a tear.

Ezra is distressed too, of course the sensitive little boy is, chanting, “mommy, mommy, mommy.”

She clears her throat, smiling softly at her youngest boy, “M’okay, Ezzie. It’s all okay.”

“Mama, hold me,” Ezra begs, reaching out his arms to be switched to his mother but Harry holds him tight and shakes his head ‘no.’

“Not right now baby. Mommy doesn’t feel very good,” YN tells him, chest still pounding, back still aching.

And when their youngest starts sobbing, screaming that he wants his mother, well...YN starts feel overwhelmed by her two olders ones who are whimpering because they know they’re in trouble and Ezra tantruming.

“Sweetheart,” Harry can tell by the tears bubbling up along her waterline what’s going on, “Baby, y’okay. What do y’need?”

YN sucks in a deep breath, gathering her thoughts for a moment, “I just need a minute alone. You can have Easton and Ezra finish their ice cream. Then come after you’re done.”

“I can do that,” Harry replies sadly, he couldn’t stand seeing his wife upset or scared - it was one of the worst feelings for him.

When YN grabs the car keys and leaves towards the car, Ezra settles as soon as he’s being fed ice cream again. The boys hesitantly go back to their seats across from their dad.

Harry knows they’re young. They don’t understand what it would mean if they knocked their heavily pregnant mother over but it doesn’t mean aggravation isn’t running through him at the two. 

“Daddy...” Easton sniffles cautiously, kicking his feet under the table as his chest shutters.

“Yes?” Harry answers calmly, looking up from Ezra to meet his son’s gaze - the same green eyes staring back at him.

“Do you and mommy hate us?” His oldest asks as he wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand.

“No, mama and I love you two with all our hearts. But daddy is very upset with you two right now, do you understand why?” 

They both nod in agreement that they do.

“Why are we upset?” Harry prompts as he takes a wet wipe to rubs over Ezra’s strawberry stained face.

“Cause we made mommy almost fall,” Cash lisps shamefully.

Harry nods, “And we tell you very often that we have to be careful with mama because she’s got a baby in her belly and we have t’keep the baby safe.”

“Are we in trouble?” Easton voice is still quiver with his guilt.

“I’ll have t’talk to y’mom but if it happens again, y’both are goin’ to be in a lot of trouble and y’gonna get a consequence. Do you understand that too?” 

They nod in unison. Easton hadn’t touched his ice cream again, gets up to throw it away as he loiters - looking towards the car where his mother is sitting away from them.

Cash gets up to but slowly walks around the table to his father. 

“M’sorry daddy,” He squeaks tearfully, moving forward and digging his face into Harry’s bicep.

“Cash,” Harry soothes, grasps his son lightly under the chin, “I love you very much, okay? We just can’t do things like that. Y’need to listen to daddy and mama.”

He nods in understanding before crawling up into his father’s lap, right next to Ezra - who gives him an affronted glare when he realizes he has to share space with him.

When they’re done and Harry has let enough time past, he walks the little group of boys toward their SUV.

He opens the passenger side door where YN is reclined a bit, hand on her stomach and the air-conditioner blasting cold air on her face.

“The boys have somethin’ t’say,” Harry smiles softly, leaning over to give his wife a quick kiss.

“M’sorry mama,” Cash whispers.

“Me too, mommy,” Easton adds on.

“I forgive you both. You just have to be careful with me. You’re sibling is in here and we have to keep them nice and healthy, right? I love you two more than anything.”

-

[notkageyamasprincess]

glad you came | kageyama tobio x reader

request: big brother!kegeyama walking in on the reader touching themselves .. 😁

notes: a huge thank you to jodie (@keijidearest​ ) for being my beta, a hundred kisses fo you, muah muah <33

characters: nii-chan!kageyama tobio x reader

genre/warnings: smut, incest, slight voyeurism, mention of dacryphilia, mutual masturbation, corruption kink, slight degradation, breeding kink

words: 2.2k

summary: tobio-nii finally finds out that his adorable little sister feels the same way

As always, your parents weren’t at home—that much was expected. But today, even Tobio would be out until late. You couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your chest when you walked into your empty husk of a house. It was so lonely ever since your older brother started spending more time on campus, and you had no choice but to comfort yourself the only way you knew how.

The bedroom door didn’t quite close all the way behind you, but you disregarded it, knowing nobody would be home to disrupt you anyways. You flopped onto the bed, and wiggled out of your bottoms, one hand creeping beneath your waistband while the other clutched your phone to browse raunchy sites. Although you took in the obscene videos, racy comics, and filthy erotica, your mind drifted to Tobio, wishing that he’d take the place of the men in all those scenarios, comforting you in person rather than leaving you alone at your time of need. Settling into your blankets, you began taking care of the ache in your core, back arching off the mattress as you slowly worked yourself up to your high. The room gradually filled up with the sounds of your heavy breathing, slick noises of your arousal, and the familiar creak of the bed as you shifted around.

Unbeknownst to you, Tobio was on the other side of the wall, quietly taking care of his own needs, stroking his length to match your rhythm. He seriously lucked out today; he didn’t think he would ever have the opportunity to catch you at a vulnerable moment like this, unsuspectingly letting out your sweet moans for him to hear. When practice got cancelled, he went straight home and took a nap, only to wake up to the sounds of your self-pleasuring. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on his precious little sister, really. Yet, how could he let this chance pass him by?

As he gripped his cock, your brother felt his balls tighten much quicker than usual. He wasn’t expecting his innocent sister to sound so...so lewd. His orgasm was coaxed on by how slutty you sounded as you moaned, how sopping wet he reckoned you were just through the noise of you fucking yourself. Before long, he felt himself shudder as he shot out his load. Never had he cum so early, the embarrassment enveloping him as he realized what had had him so worked up to begin with. Your soft whines remained in the background as Tobio slumped down and began cleaning himself off.

As his post-orgasmic bliss dissipated, a sense of guilt and disgust grew within him, as though he had violated you himself. He laid an arm over his eyes and exhaled deeply.

A few more seconds passed, and he shamefully emerged from his room, intending to wash up in the bathroom when something made him stop in his tracks.

“N-nii-chan…feels good!”

Erotic fantasies of your brother fuelled your lust while you touched yourself. Instead of your own hands, you imagined that it was his large palms caressing your breasts, and his long fingers stretching you out, loosening your entrance for his thick cock. Your gasps and whimpers grew louder as you gave in to the pleasure, but you didn’t care, chanting your brother’s name as you came.

Lost in a euphoric trance, your eyes remained squeezed shut, allowing him to slip into your room unnoticed.. The moment his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, he was captivated by the sight of your limp form splayed out on the bed. His ravenous gaze traveled across the expanses of exposed skin, pausing briefly on the rise and fall of your chest and your spasming pussy. He swallowed before revealing his presence.

“____, was that…my name?”

Upon hearing his voice, your eyes snapped open, and you yelped. Panic welled up inside you as you sprang up and hastily covered yourself.

Thoughts of possible consequences raced through your mind. No more hair ruffles, no more head pats, no more words of praise. He’d no longer swing by your school to treat you to lunch when he was between classes. You could definitely say goodbye to him picking you up from the bus stop after dark.

“Tobio-nii! I- how long have you been standing there?”

Now you’d gone and done it. He must be repulsed by you. No one should have been in the house, nobody should have been there to catch you, so how was this happening?

“Not important. I’d rather talk about how you were just masturbating while thinking about me.”

Blood rushed to his dick as the scene he walked in on replayed in his head, and your cute noises echoed in his mind. His shock quickly shifted into frustration: frustration that he had to conceal his possessiveness when you gave your attention to another boy, frustration that he had to control his urges when you pranced around the house in your ratty drawstring shorts, or that he had to avert his eyes when your nipples poked out from your thin sleepshirt.

Frustration that he had to live through hell hiding his feelings for you when his dear sister was exactly the same way.

“You mean to tell me,” he started, taking calculated steps towards you, “That this entire time we could have been taking care of each other? The fuck did I jerk off in the shower for?”

Huh? You were stunned and relieved, but there was no time for you to hold back your tears. Unable to process what he said, you peered up at him with watery eyes.

Thinking that he frightened you by raising his voice, his eyes widened in alarm. He gathered you into his arms and stroked the back of your head. “Whoa, hey, hey, don’t cry, angel. I didn’t mean to get angry with you; I got too excited back there.”

“No, that’s not it. I-I thought you would hate me, and I didn’t know what to do.”

“I could never hate you, ____. You’re so precious to me that I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else putting their hands on you where mine should be.”

Pulling back, you looked into his eyes for confirmation. “Really? Because I always hated your girlfriends for stealing my place.”

“You’re so cute, but I promise you have nothing to worry about at all. I didn’t want them like I wanted you.” You felt him guide your hands to his groin, where his dick was nearly popping out from his boxers. “Do you feel that? Feel how hard I am? You made me this way.”

Your heart swelled with pride knowing that he loved you more than he did any of those whores, and seeing him so worked up, all for you brought back the familiar tingle between your legs that only your Nii-chan knew how to soothe. Freeing him from his pants, you watched in wonder as his cock stood at attention, leaking precum from the tip. Tobio’s breathing grew heavier from your touch.

“____? Do you think you could do Nii-chan a favour?” His ears reddened in mortification.  Despite the fact that he had cum earlier, all he wanted to do was shove his cock into you and fuck you silly. “I got turned on when you were crying,” he groaned and covered his face. “Sorry, I know I shouldn’t react that way, but you’re just so cute.”

On the contrary, you were really happy that he found you so endearing.. “Don’t be sorry, Tobio-nii,” you reassured, shaking your head. “Just tell me what I need to do.”

Tobio kneeled at the foot of your bed and gripped his length, grateful that you were willing to help him out. “Could you remove the blankets and show me your pretty body?”

The idea of baring yourself to him made you flustered. But if it was your brother, asking you so politely for help, you wouldn’t mind displaying your most vulnerable parts. Glancing at his hopeful expression, you peeled back the covers.

“So good, baby. Now open your legs and touch yourself for me.”

Again, you bashfully complied, spreading yourself and angling your hips to give him a better view. The way he watched you made you searing hot; he gazed at you with lust blown pupils, eyeing you like a starved wolf as he fisted his cock.

You were fixated on his dick, curiously observing the rosy colour of the tip, the slender shaft, the slight curvature upwards, and the vein running down the middle. It was the first time you’d seen one. Heat pooled in your centre when you thought about taking him in your mouth.

“Nii-chan? Can I try sucking you off?”

“What?” he panted. “You don’t—ah, fuck—have to. I can’t make you do that.”

Leaning forward on your hands, you stared at him in earnest. “I want to.”

His face scrunched up as he weighed his options, but a quick glance at your glossy plump lips was all he needed to succumb.

After he agreed, you held him gently, noting how your hand barely wrapped around the girth of it, and how it felt so much thicker and heavier than it looked.Experimentally, you eagerly licked the sides, lapping at the precum that dribbled down his length, then you wrapped your lips around him. Paying close attention to his instructions, you gingerly massaged his balls and inched him further down your throat. “Yes, yes just like that. Now swallow.”

He tugged at your hair, pushing himself deeper, alternating between looking down at you, and closing his eyes in ecstasy. Your jaw was sore, and your throat was starting to burn, but you couldn’t help but moan at the disheveled state he was reduced to. Your cunt clenched around nothing, pulsating with desire.

Tobio’s eyebrows knitted together, loving the sight of you gagging on his dick. He’d always dreamed of defiling you like this; he felt so dirty, but so good.

“Shit, you’re making your Tobio-nii feel so amazing. I’m gonna cum soon.”

You desperately longed for him to cum on your tongue, but even more than that, you wanted him to alleviate your aching core, so you reluctantly pulled your lips off of him. “Mm, wait! Not yet.” You spread your lower lips apart, looking at him with need. “Please. In here.”

Tobio regarded your fucked out expression and your dripping hole, deciding to satisfy you against his better judgement. His cute sister was begging so sweetly for him, so how could he deny your request? Besides, he wanted it just as badly.

“Yeah? You’re gonna give your virginity to Nii-chan? Gonna let your big brother fuck his seed deep into your slutty pussy?”

His filthy words caused you to shiver, yet, he was soothing and gentle as he slipped his cock inside, pushing the head in little by little, pausing until you were ready for more. He moved only the tip back and forth, parting your opening, coating his dick with your juices.

The stretch hurt a little as he inched in deeper, but there was no one other than your beloved Nii-chan you’d rather lose your virginity to. You knew he respected you enough that you could even call it off there, and he would stop without any questions. There was no doubt that he would treat you better than anyone else you could’ve had your first time with.

When you finally nodded to him, he eased in the rest of his length, and he sucked in a breath when your cunt squelched, accepting him in hungrily. He waited a few more seconds before thrusting slowly. Once you gave him the okay, he increased the pace steadily until he was slamming his cock in and out.

His cock reached places inside you that you were never able to reach with your fingers, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head. You felt so full, so complete.

Tobio nearly spilled into you when he directed his gaze to the spot where the two of you were connected. Your cunt squeezed him like it didn’t want him to pull out and painted him in a creamy white substance. He was addicted to seeing you losing yourself on his dick as he split you open.

Pressing on the back of your thighs, he pushed you deeper into the mattress and shoved his length even deeper. Your brother enjoyed the feeling of corrupting you, wiping you clean of every man that came before him and ruining you for every man that would come after him. That is, if you would ever want another man after he’d had his way with you.

Feeling your pussy tighten, he slid a hand between your bodies and grinded the heel of his palm against your nub, forcing an orgasm out of you, and spurted his viscous cum inside. He pumped his cock a few more times before pulling out, admiring his handiwork when his cum leaked out from your convulsing hole. Rather than let it drip onto the sheets, he lifted your pelvis to place a pillow underneath, then collected his release with his fingers, only to push it deep inside you again. Contently, he plugged you back up with his cock, brushed some hair out of your face, and pecked you tenderly on the forehead.

You laid there, basking in each other’s warmth, filling the void in each other’s heart.

Tobio nosed the crook of your neck, breathing in deeply. “Mine.”

a/n: well, well, well... tobio-nii makes a comeback

[bakubub]

In which racer!kuroo is your roommate, and seems to only like it when you treat his wounds... (word count: 1.9k)

Ngl quite proud of this one!!

Warnings: 18+, a whole lot of swearing, a whole lot of blood, innuendos and implied nsfw, reader almost vomits (NOT from pregnancy chill, I know we're all scarred but its going to be just fine) and if you're squeamish perhaps skip the scene where reader stitches his wound?

Also bit of a disclaimer: I am in NO WAY a med student and literally all of my knowledge is from movies and other fics... so if you acc know what to do in this situation this may be a torturous for you :D

All due credits go to @aikk00​ for this AMAZING fanart!!!!

I watch as my roommate enters the penthouse, once again scratched up and bleeding, covered in so much blood there is no possible way that it was all his- if it was he would not be standing.

I launch myself off the couch- where I was sitting for the past hour nervously waiting for his return- and slip my arm under his, supporting him as we inched towards the bathroom.

"I can do this by myself you know," he grumbles, his grimace revealing just how much pain he was actually in.

"Mhm, I'm sure you can. Just like you boiled that poor egg by yourself last week, hmm?" I say sarcastically, trying to keep my mind calm and clear, because oh my god it looks really bad this time...

"Oi, its not my fault it fuckin' exploded," he mutters, voice laden with pain.

"You put it in the microwave because 'the shitty water wasn't doing its job.' Of course it would explode," I say, gently seating him on the closed toilet seat and taking out my supplies that I unfortunately have become rather accustomed to using. He's made it a habit to get himself injured.

"Where's the injury?" I ask, setting down my half-empty bottle of antiseptic and box of bandages. He peels off his shirt, cringing at the pain it brought him as the fabric was stuck to the gash that went from his left pectoral down to the middle of his chest.

"Pissed off a bidder after winning a race, fucker took out a knife once he realised he couldn't beat me up," he huffs out, arrogance still lacing his tone even with sweat dripping down his brow as he leans the back of his head onto the tile wall behind him. His Adam's apple bobs down his bloodstained neck as he speaks, and I quickly look away, focusing on the injury at hand.

Not his blood soaked, but nevertheless well defined pectoral muscles, nor the abs that my hands occasionally brush up against and know how hard they really are, and definitely not the trail of black hairs that lead down, down, down...

"What's wrong, the view too hot to focus on the work at hand?" He asks suggestively, raising his pierced brow, even in this state.

I'm quick to reply, having gotten used to his flirtatious remarks from the second I moved into his penthouse, "nope can't even see the view from that massive head of yours. Not to mention your permanent bed head."

He huffs out a laugh, then proceeds to flinch from the pain it must have caused.

"Stop moving, idiot. You're going to exacerbate the cut!" I say, quickly grabbing a damp towel and beginning to clean up his abdomen, whilst simultaneously pressing another rag to his wound to stop the bleeding.

“At least you admit that there is a hot view,” he says in his low voice, gazing at me from his position.

I simply roll my eyes.

No falling in love. That was the deal we had made on the day he offered me a place to stay in exchange for my services as a maid and apparently, a nurse. I cook, clean and basically keep the house running while this moron goes out and acts like the idiot he is. In my defense, dorms are expensive as hell, and his penthouse is nearby. Plus, I don't have to pay rent. It's a win-win situation.

But the feelings stirring up inside my heart might just ruin the dynamic we have going on and simultaneously take out a whole lot of cash out of my pocket.

At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Once his skin isn't completely saturated in blood, and the wound has (thankfully) stopped bleeding, I add some antiseptic onto a make-up pad and begin to dab at his wound, earning winces and slight grunts from the massive man.

"The cut looks deep, Kuroo. You need to go to the hospital," I say, worry lacing my tone as my eyebrows crease and earn yet another huffing laugh.

"Do you want me to rot in prison for the rest of my life?"

I roll my eyes at his response, deliberately dabbing just a little harder which earns me a yelp and an attempted glare in my direction.

"First off, illegal street racing won't send you to prison for your entire life, just for like, half a year. Second, this wound needs stitches, and believe it or not, I'm not a fucking licensed medic. In fact, the only experience I have is with you!" I say, immediately regretting my choice of words as I wait for his remark.

"That's what she said," He says, chuckling at his own innuendo.

I sigh in frustration, pouring more antiseptic to make sure there was no chance of infection from whatever grimy ass knife stabbed him, and beginning to gently scrub the wound with a soft towel, so as to make sure there was no debris left in there.

"You're gonna have ta do it," he mutters, his hazel eyes boring into mine.

"I- I can't Kuroo, you can't possibly think-"

"Fine. I'll do it. Go get me a needle and thread," he states, struggling but nevertheless, sitting upright on the red stained toilet.

I stare at Kuroo in disbelief as he utters these words. Was he dumber than I thought? Does he have some sort of head injury too?

I examine his face and all I come up with is unnerving determination. I exhale out of my nose sharply, "fine, dammit. I'll sew your fucking wound shut."

I am extremely handy with a sewing needle and thread, used to really be into embroidery back when I had the time so...it should be fine.

He just shrugs, leaning his head back against the tiles and closing his eyes.

"Fucking asshole. Can't believe I'm saving your damn life," I mutter, leaving the bathroom to dig through my wardrobe for my sewing box and taking out a gold silk thread that I was saving for a special project.

Well, I guess that will never happen.

"Hey, I found some silk thread. It's literally known for its strength and durability in high temperatures, so it should work like a charm!" I say, walking back into the blood stained bathroom and trying to psych myself up.

He grunts in response. I sigh as I begin with mopping up the excess blood and sanitising the needle and thread before chucking on gloves.

I wipe the antiseptic over the wound once more, and examine it carefully.

Well, if his condition worsens, I can always knock him out and call an ambulance...

I decide, screw it, and thread the needle, pretending it was just another embroidery project.

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, I chant as I puncture his skin with the thin needle.

Kuroo gasps in pain, and I place a hand on his knee, telling him to suck it up and deal with it, half talking to him but also to myself.

To my surprise, he listens, stretching his head back once more and gritting his teeth.

"Don't do that, here put this in-between your teeth," I say, grabbing yet another towel and shoving it into his mouth.

He obeys as I continue to stitch. I feel my gag reflex kicking in as I think about how stitching skin feels as though I am stitching leather, it feels hard and tough while pushing the thin needle through.

Must hurt like a bitch.

Once I've completed my neat stitches down the wound, without vomiting, I tie it off as I would with any embroidery, and clean the area free of any remaining blood. After rubbing some antibacterial ointment over the gold stitches, I stick on a particularly large bandage over the wound and start tidying up.

"Thank you," Kuroo mutters, still seated on the toilet seat and practically panting for breath.

"Ah, the criminal knows his damn manners!! Now get up and get in the damn shower. You ruined my pristine bathroom!" I complain, putting the last of the materials away before walking to the door.

"Wait, I- I can't get up." I turn around and look at him incredulously as he utters his next few words, "will you... shower me?"

My eyes just about pop out of their sockets at his request. "Are you insane?! I'm not your mother, nor your wife! Call your pudding haired friend and tell him to come shower you!"

He shakes his head, a rare pleading look taking the place of his usual arrogant smirk, "Kenma's too lazy to shower himself, Y/n, please!"

I contemplated it for a moment. Sure, I've seen him naked before, accidentally of course, and so what if I have to scrub him clean. God knows he can't do it himself with that damn injury.

Fuck this shit.

"Fine, get up right now." I bark at him, leaving to change out of my blood soaked pjs into a pair of shorts and a tank.

"...I just said I can't."

---

"Ow, y/n, you're scrubbing too hard!" He complains, his exfoliating glove around my hand as I rub his toned back clean of any dead skin-cells and blood remains.

"But look how much stuff is coming off!" I say gleefully, enjoying this a little too much.

Kuroo, seated on the built-in bench in the open shower with his red boxers on, looks back to see the satisfaction dripping from my features.

"Are you secretly a sadist?" he whispers. In response, I begin to rinse off his raw back with hot water, causing him to screech like a cat.

"It burns, it burns-”

“Shut the fuck up, moron! It's 4 in the morning, you’re going to annoy our neighbours. I tried very hard to get in their good graces, and Mrs. Suzuki still doesn’t like me! She definitely thinks I’m some kind of hooker…” Kuroo laughs at this, and I can’t help but watch as his whole face brightens up from his usual emotionless expression. I find myself smiling in response.

I grab his expensive shampoo and pour some into my hands, beginning to massage it into his scalp. With wet hair, his raven strands are for once flat on his head and reach down to his defined jawline. Kuroo groans under my touch, leaning into my fingers. I snatch my hands back and pour hot water over his head.

"ARGH! Y/N!" He screams, hastily getting up and wetting me in the process.

"Ah- what are you-" I don't get to finish my question as he grabs my arm and yanks me next to him under the hot water, soaking my clothes and my hair.

"You asshole!" I screech as I reach up to pull his hair in defiance, but he only grabs my arm and hooks it around his neck, leaning down to look directly into my eyes.

Our noses brushing against one another, he mutters, "You look pretty with your hair wet and your shirt see through."

It takes me a moment to get past the compliment and to hear the perverted comment that he just uttered.

He sees my look of confusion and laughs, bends over, clutches his stomach and laughs, before bellowing in pain because of his injury.

Smiling smugly down at him as he grimaces, I force him to sit back down and continue massaging the shampoo into his hair, warning him that if he so much as moaned I would leave him in here, dripping wet and in pain.

"That's what he said," is his reply.

I smack his head in response.

Notes, interactions and reblogs are highly appreciated <3

[untaemedqueen]

Red Sus (M)

Idol!Jeongguk x Girlfriend!Reader

WordCount: 3.9k

Genre: Smut, Porn With Little Plot, Fluff, Among Us!Fic, Among Us!Crack?

Warnings: Jeongguk’s Hot Headed Ass, Taehyung LITERALLY THROWING THE GAME, Impreg Kink, Big IQ Brain Power Plays, Fingering, Dirty Talk, Fellatio, Face Fucking, Praise, Edging, Unprotected Sex, Belly Buldge, Cunnilingus, Pussy Slapping, Spitting, Doggy Style, Multiple Orgasms, Cream Pie

A/N: Sooooo I’m too obsessed with Among Us to not make a fic? And even though this is shorter than most that I make I thought it would be fun to whip something up in the spirit of BTS’ competitive games. Do I believe 100% that Kim Taehyung would throw a game? Absolutely. Thank you so much to the forever squad @ppersonna, @ladyartemesia, @xjoonchildx for letting me rant and talk about this insanity of a one shot and reading it! Thank you to baby Bucca @thejooncrew​ for reading it! I hope you enjoy the silly and the smutty! 

The house is filled with loud screams, mainly from your boyfriend as he ties his hair up into a ponytail.

You can see the sweat on his neck beading as he sits in the voting screen.

"Oh yeah?! Then Taehyung hyung, where were you? Because I went to reactor when it was called and you didn't follow me and now Hobi hyung is dead." Jeongguk goes quiet as he waits for his answer and you begin to smirk as the muscles in his back tense up.

"WHAT THE FUCK? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? LAME. LAME. LAME. RED SUS. RED SUS AS FUCK! There is no possible way you were in cafeteria! Because I ran through cafeteria from admin to get to the reactor!" Jeongguk has gotten angry during games before. But, this is the first time you've seen his neck veins bulging.

"Hyungs! It's not me! I didn't kill Hobi hyung!" He whines out before putting his elbows to his computer table and cupping his forehead with his hands.

"You're fucking throwing!" He complains and you watch the screen as his black character racks up smaller bodies beneath his name. He scoffs loudly as he mutes his mic before turning to you.

"I want you to play with us. I can't play with them. It's so frustrating." He whines as he rolls his chair over to you. He throws himself out of the chair and onto your lap as you caress his handsome face.

Guk has always been so competitive, so good with everything that you can understand him being frustrated in a game like this one. Sometimes he needs a little pick me up. A little incentive to get him going again. And you know just the thing.

"Alright, I’ll play. But how about if I win, we make a baby?" You ask and his eyes flash over with mischief.

“Yeah? You want to make a mini crewmate with me?” He asks playfully and you narrow your eyes at him for the bad joke.

“Okay. Okay. Sorry, no bad jokes. Only filling your pussy with my cum.” He says before he chuckles deeply as his hand roams over the curve of your side.

"That sound good? We play and if I win you can fuck a baby into me like you’ve been trying to do?" You ask once more. 

His bottom lip is between his teeth as his fingers drift over the imprint of your puffy nipple through your tank top.

"How about you play with the boys but I have to play with you while you do it? And if you win either Imposter or Crewmate then I'll fuck my baby into you like I've been dying to do since I met you five years ago." His offer is tempting and you begin to smile as he does the same.

His fingers drift over your nipples, watching them strain and become erect against the thin fabric.

“Game on, Jeon Jeongguk.”

With a sharp breath between his teeth, he leans up on his elbows. His tongue peeks out of his mouth to place wet kisses against your clothed chest. His tongue flicks at the stiff peaked bud, enjoying how the lavender shirt becomes darker with his saliva. 

"Guk?" You can hear faintly from the computer and he sits up quickly as he hears them call his name.

The word Defeat flashes on the screen and he sighs loudly as he shuffles back over to the computer desk. Fixing his erection, he puts his headphones back on.

"Y/N is going to play for me. I'm going to take a shower." He says calmly as you open up your laptop. He hands you his mouse as he gives them farewells. Booting up the screen, he reads out the letters of the private server before situating himself behind you.

You take in a sharp breath as he pulls your tank top over your head. Your mind already becoming foggy with thoughts of lust as the server boots up.

"Hey guys." You call out as you join the Discord server. 

"Hey hey!" Taehyung cheers as he runs around your purple character on screen.

You've played Among Us before with your friends but never your boyfriend's group. This will be interesting. You're usually very good and right now you need to be. There's nothing you want more in the world then to start a family with the man you love and adore.

"Start." Jin calls out and Jeongguk mutes your mic for you.

You take in a sharper breath than before as his thumbs swipe across your nipples. His lips trail from one shoulder to the other and you shudder as the Shhhh screen disappears.

"Impostor." You tell him and he chuckles to himself before nodding.

"Better hope you're good if you want me to fuck my cum into you and make this baby." He jeers. 

Faking tasks for you is easy, but it's considerably harder when your smoking hot boyfriend is behind you. He's touching every bit of flesh he can. Rolling and pinching your nipples just perfectly to distract you from the task at hand.

His lips are kissing at the shell of your ear when you get your first kill on Jimin in Navigation before hopping into the vent. 

"Every good kill you get, I'll reward you." Jeongguk whispers before peeking at the muted mic. Drifting his fingers south, he watches you as you jump out of the vent in admin before pretending to stalk the admin screen.

"Clean." Jeongguk whispers as Hoseok runs into the room. 

As you exit the admin screen, the dead body report comes up and Jeongguk holds his breath.

"It's Yoongi hyung! It's Yoongi hyung!" Taehyung chants and Guk laughs as you unmute your mic.

"What?! Why would you say that?!" Yoongi yells as you giggle.

“First of all, where’s Jimin’s body?” Namjoon asks and you hear Taehyung hum.

“He’s in Navigation.” He replies.

"I saw Y/N in admin so she's good." Hoseok calls out and your boyfriend gives a thumbs up.

He shoves his hand in your pants and you squirm nervously.

Parting the now slick folds of your pussy, his middle finger rubs smooth circles onto your clit. Your back falters into his chest at the pleasurable feeling and you find yourself giving the smallest whimper.

"Y/N, what did you do this round?" Namjoon asks and you clear your throat.

Jeongguk pauses to let you collect yourself.

"I did card swipe and wires in admin before staying on the admin screen to see if anyone vented." You say before hearing hums of agreement.

"Yeah. I'll take that. And, I did see her in admin so I believe it." Hoseok says. Jeongguk begins his unrelenting torture to your clit once more as he kisses softly down the back of your neck.

"YOONGI HYUNG IS SUS!" Taehyung screams and you can't help but giggle before gasping gently at the pleasure and muting your mic.

"Shut up Taehyung! You're the worst third impostor I've ever fucking seen. You're throwing, you IDIOT!" Yoongi screams back.

"Skip." Jin mumbles before the screen goes black once more.

"You're doing so well, baby girl." Guk whispers as he trails his slender fingers along your slick folds.

"Fuck. Guk." You whine as you put your head back to his shoulder.

"Better pay attention. If you want me to fuck a baby into you that is." He reminds you.

You were intrigued when you first found out about his kink but after watching some porn videos with him and hearing him talk about it in bed, it's certainly grown on you.

You stopped taking birth control a while ago and have been trying to have a baby for so long now. But, fun games like this couldn't hurt. They're exciting.

Starting the round, you head off towards reactor and pretend to do Simon Says when Namjoon enters to do 1-10.

You can barely focus as your boyfriend pinches and rolls your nipple between his fingertips. 

"Can't wait till you're swollen with my baby. Gonna let everyone know just how much I love on you. I can't wait till these pretty tits fill up with milk just for my child." Jeongguk whispers in your ear and you shiver before killing Namjoon and venting.

You sabotage the doors all around the left side before popping out of the vent in lower engine and running into electrical with Jin.

"Lean back a little bit for me, baby girl." Your boyfriend demands and you do as you're told. He thrusts two fingers deep into your cunt and you moan loudly at the tiny burn.

"You're so excited to have my baby. You hear how wet you are for me? Getting your cute little panties all soaked." He whispers before nipping at your earlobe.

You kill Jin before venting and Namjoon's body is found by Yoongi.

"SELF REPORTED!" Taehyung screams and you moan as Jeongguk curls his fingers to the delicate bundle of nerves inside of you.

"Shut the fuck up Taehyung. My God!" Yoongi whines.

"Where's the body?" Hoseok asks.

"Reactor. Oh shit. Jin is dead too. I think it's Taehyung or he's throwing." Yoongi says matter-of-factly. 

"Y/N, where were you this round?" Hoseok asks.

Jeongguk keeps pressure to your g-spot as you unmute.

"I did gas can top and then gas can bottom. Then went into electrical to do the three spinning things." You say before muting yourself again.

"I trust Y/N." Taehyung says before clearing his throat.

"Fuck Guk, keep going. My pussy is so wet for you." You whine as his large hand spreads your leg wider.

"We have to vote here guys." Hoseok calls out.

"I'm voting for Taehyung. He's putting the blame on me so it's got to be him." Jeongguk laughs behind you as he begins to fuck you with his fingers again.

"I'm going with Taehyung too." Hoseok says and you vote the second youngest out before moaning your boyfriend's name.

"That's it baby. Fuck, you love this." Your boyfriend mumbles as he pulls his cock out of his sweatpants.

"Kill one more and you get a fat load of cum up your needy cunt." He reminds you as Taehyung floats through the air. 

The heel of his palm digs into your clit and you whimper out as you watch Hoseok stay near the emergency meeting button.

You call reactor quickly and run across with both Yoongi and Hoseok as your cooldown meter ticks away to nothing. Finally you kill Yoongi and breathe a sigh of relief as you win the round.

"Damn. It wasn't Yoongi?" Taehyung asks dumbfounded.

"I said it wasn't me like fifty times KIM TAEHYUNG." Yoongi yells.

"Gg fellas. But I gotta go. Bye!" You squeal as you exit the Discord call.

Jeongguk puts your laptop and headphones on the floor before tackling you to the mattress with a sly grin.

He tugs off your sleep shorts and your underwear before taking off his sweatpants and smiling widely. 

You absentmindedly lick your lips as you stare at his rock hard cock. It was a sight you could never get tired of. Slightly curved and beading precum at the tip of his long length, he begins to chuckle as you eye him. The pink rose veins of his cock call out to you and you wrap your hand around the thick base earning a whimper from your boyfriend above you.

“Fuck. Baby.” He whines as you stroke him, feeling the velvety soft skin against your palm.

His cock twitches with need as you sit up.

Looking up at him below your thick lashes, he takes a sharp breath through his teeth anticipating what’s to come next. 

Your tongue swirls around the head of his cock, picking up the beads of precum that linger. Guk moans loudly above you, his hands grasp at your head as you enter him into your mouth. 

“Oh fuck, you’re so good at sucking my cock baby, shit.” He moans out. 

His perfectly manicured nails dig into your scalp and you bob your head. 

“Just like that. Keep going. I love when you slobber on my cock. Shows me how horny you get for me.” His bottom lip tucks between his teeth again as he pushes your head down, losing himself in the pleasure you’re giving him.

Your eyes spring with fresh tears as you gag on his large length and the sound only goads him on to hear more of them. 

Swallowing around his cock, he preens as he goes deeper and deeper within your throat.

“Such a good girl. Fuck.” He praises through gritted teeth. His eyes lock onto yours again as tears stream down your cheeks. 

“Yeah. Fuck you love this, don’t you? Love being a little cocksleeve for me.” His cock begins to throb within your throat and you whine at the feeling before he’s pulling out and sighing loudly.

“Lay down for me, baby girl.” He says as he pulls his hair tie tighter. 

Doing as told you let out a soft moan as his lips encircle your areola. His tongue flicks at your stiff peaked bud as his cock glides through your folds.

The stimulation to your clit is so powerful, you feel almost breathless. Every rut against your core has you losing all semblance of reality. 

“Yes. Yes. In me, please.” You beg as he shows love to your other breast. 

Aligning to your core, his hand cups your cheek. He gives you a small smile before pressing his lips to yours in a passionate kiss.

Gasping as he enters you, his tongue glides over yours as you grip his tattooed arms.

"Oh fuck!" You whine as your head lolls back.

"Oh my God." Guk groans as he buries his face into your neck.

Wrapping your legs around his waist, your nails scrape down the honey toned skin of his arms.

"Fuck, you feel so good baby. So wet and tight for me." He moans against your skin as he begins a relentless pace.

Taking his head away from your neck, he situates his hands on either side of your face before thrusting harder into you.

His eyes drift slowly down your body to where you are joined and he moans loudly before pressing his hand to your womb.

“Fuck, look how big my cock is in your tight little pussy.” He moans and your eyes drift to where he’s looking.

His cock is so long and thick inside of you, you can see the outline as he thrusts in and out of your soppy cunt.

“God, you’re incredible!” He whines as he picks up the pace.

Sitting up on his knees, his hips continue to snap and roll as a thin sheen of sweat graces his body.

Your fingers drift over the hard muscles of his abs as you moan for him. He fucks you so well, muddling your mind and drying your mouth and throat.

“You’re gonna look so good, nice and pregnant with my baby. So fucking perfect carrying my child inside of you. Shit! You’re so fucking wet!” He cries out as he grips your hips.

His perfect nails scrape down the skin of your hips and the slight twinge of pain earning a loud groan from you.

He’s so perfect. So yours. And, so eager to put what’s his inside of you.

“Tell me how much you want my baby inside of you.” Jeongguk demands as his hand reaches for the apex of your thighs. 

Rearing back and spitting on your already soaked pussy, his thumb begins to rub circles onto your clit. Your thighs lock and shake through the intense pleasure and you can barely think before he’s slapping your clit to demand words from your mouth.

“I want you to fuck a baby into me so badly. Want you to cum inside and watch me get all big with your baby.” You whine as you palm your breasts in hand.

“Fuck yes. Can’t wait till you're nice and big. Get to fuck you from behind with your belly in my hands.” He mumbles as his head lolls back.

You could feel yourself starting to reach the height of your pleasure. The pressure within you becomes almost too much to withstand. 

“Guk, please. Please! I want to cum!” You whine and he lets a smirk grace his features before he’s fucking you up the bed.

Your hands grip the sheets, white knuckling them as your eyes flutter shut. 

“Cum on my cock, baby girl. Show me how much you want my baby.” He demands as he pinches your clit.

Behind your eyes, a galaxy explodes and paints the back of your eyelids as you orgasm. Your ears ring and you can barely hear him praising you for all you’re worth.

“Oh fuck! You’re going to make me cum!” He whines as he pulls out of you.

You whimper at the loss. You feel drunk off his pleasure. Sluggishly you watch as his tattooed arms wrap around your thighs. 

Laying down between your thighs, he ruts his cock against the mattress as his face reaches towards your core.

“Guk!” You whine as he wraps his lips against your throbbing bud.

Your body jolts and tingles with overstimulation as you grip his ponytail.

“T-Too much! I can’t!” You cry out but he doesn’t listen. 

He gives soft licks to your clit, pushing you through the overstimulation until you’re preening for him again.

His name tumbles from your lips like a prayer as you begin to grind your spent cunt against his face begging for more.

Leaving your clit, his nose brushes against your nub as his tongue enters you. The muscular organ goes rigid as he fucks you before whirling around inside of you. With a yelp, you grip his hair harder within your grasp. Tugging almost painfully, he groans against you. The vibration seems to course through your body. The noise reinvigorating you for more.

“Oh fuck! Jeongguk!” You cry out as he grips your thighs harder. 

His eyes flutter shut and your breath hitches as he pulls away. 

“You taste so fucking good. So sweet.” He mumbles. 

The image of his handsome face, covered and shining in your slick is almost sensory overload for you. 

He smacks your pussy playfully once more before his hands grip your sides. In an instant you’re on your stomach, face pressed down into a pillow. 

Guk positions you to his liking, his hand roaming over the soft skin of your back before knocking your legs open. 

Grippin the back of your neck, he places soft kisses across your shoulder as he aligns himself back to your entrance.

“Fuck, I love you.” He murmurs into your ear.

“I love you t-” The final word is cut off with a loud moan as he enters you in one swift motion.

You can hear him groan low and deep in your ear, and can feel the rumble of his chest as he presses himself against your back. 

“Your pussy is so fucking sloppy. You’re creaming all over my cock, filthy girl.” He punctuates each word with a harsh thrust and your moans become stunted and muffled into the pillow.

Pulling away from your back, his hand grips your hair into a makeshift ponytail before tugging harshly as he fucks you with everything he has. 

You can hear his ragged breathing and his gentle moans letting you know how good you feel around him. 

“I can’t wait to fuck your pregnant pussy. I read it feels so much warmer and tighter. So much sweeter. You’re going to drive me insane with this pretty little cunt of yours.” He informs you as he hooks his hand around your throat.

Pulling you upright against his chest, he fucks up into you at a speed that should be illegal. Your hands scramble to grab anything as he applies the perfect amount of pressure to the column of your throat. 

Gasping in your pleasure, you grip at his arm feeling his muscles and veins flexing and protruding. His forehead presses against your temple and he curses softly in your ear as his cock thickens and throbs within you.

“Goddamn, baby girl. You’re going to make me cum. Rub your clit for me, cum on my cock first.” With a shaky hand you do as told, rubbing furious circles against your clit as your arousal drips down both his and your legs. 

“Guk! Fuck! I want to get pregnant for you so badly!” You cry out as his teeth gingerly clamp your earlobe.

“I know, baby girl. You want me to cum in your needy little pussy so badly. I can feel it. You want to watch your belly swell with my baby and let everyone know who keeps you so well stuffed.” He whispers in your ear. 

Your eyes roll back in your head as the pressure builds up again within you. Your legs shake and your moans become whimpers as you focus on his throbbing cock inside of you.

“Want to hold your big belly walking down the street letting everyone know Jeon Jeongguk put that baby inside you. That no one gets to have me but you. Fuck!” He curses loudly as his thrusts begin to get sloppy.

“Guk! I’m going to cum!” You whine as you grip his arm harder.

“Good girl, cum on my cock. I’m- Fuck- I’m not going to last.” He cries out as his eyes squeeze shut. 

As you orgasm the second time, he gasps loudly behind you. Letting your throat go, he cups your breasts behind his large hands and squeezes roughly as he begins to cum. You can feel his warm cum painting the walls of your pussy and he whines your name gently as he buries his face into your neck.

With a gentle cry, your orgasm becomes tenfold feeling how warm his cum is inside of you. 

“Oh shit.” He mumbles as he holds you tightly to his chest. 

“Fuck.” You whisper as he presses soft kisses to your heated skin.

You stay like this for a minute before he’s flopping both of your bodies down onto the bed with an exasperated sigh. 

“God, I hope we get pregnant this time.” He whispers and you know he’s praying to God for it to come true.

“I hope so too.” You whisper as your fingers drift over the skin of his arm.

The silence is comfortable for a few minutes and his grip on your tightens as he hugs your body to his.

“Wanna play another round with the boys before we order dinner?” He asks innocently and you begin to smile as you nod.

“If you win again, I’ll fuck more cum into you. Deal?” He asks as he pulls out of you.

His fingers spread your battered pussy lips as he watches your cunt begin to cream with his cum. 

“Deal.” You say with a giggle as he runs his fingers over your womb.

“I think it’s Y/N.” Jeongguk mumbles into the mic before turning his head to you and narrowing his eyes. 

You stay stone faced as you look at him before turning back to the screen, “It’s not me. I did all my tasks. I’m just following people around to make sure they don’t die. I think it’s Taehyung. Red sus.” You say as you lean back against the headboard of the bed cracking your fingers.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes as everyone begins to agree with you.

“Red is always sus. Especially when you’re Kim Taehyung.” You hear Jimin say with a laugh.

You begin to smirk as everyone votes Tae, you can hear him protesting and screaming. With a triumphant laugh the victory screen appears and you fold your arms as you quip an eyebrow at your boyfriend.

He grumbles gently before muting his mic. 

“Fine. Spread those pretty legs for me.” He whispers as he leaves the game. 

[darkgrimoires]

Cleansing ritual ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

A lot of people in my culture practice magic, this is probably one of the most common rituals in my town, and I think it belongs in this blog.

It’s not supposed to be done very often, only once a month or whenever you feel like you really need it, cause it’s powerful and draining, and, if done too often, might unbalance your energy. It’s divided in two parts.

☽ Coarse salt shower (the discharging)

This step will get rid of all the negative energy you might’ve accumulated since your last cleansing. Water is a great energy conductor and, when it’s mixed with salt, a purifying crystal, it discharges all the energies you’re holding onto. That means it’ll wash off the positive energies as well, which is why you need step 2. (Also, this is why we often feel so tired after bathing in the sea!)

Preparation: Boil 2 l of water, turn the heat off and add 7 spoonfuls of coarse sea salt. Put the lid over the pan and let it rest until all the rocks dissolve. You might also want to create an inviting atmosphere where you’ll shower; you can use scented candles, a diffuser with essential oils, or cleansing incenses (not energizing ones). Meanwhile, get rid of any negative thoughts you might be holding onto; meditating briefly should be enough.

Duration: After a regular shower for hygiene, simply pour the water slowly over your body, from the neck down. Meditate while you do it, and manifest your positivity and protection; a lot of people use that moment to chant cleansing spells, but it’s your choice.

☼ Herbal shower (the energizing)

This step will renew your positive energies. You can use any plant you want, and choose depending on what you’re manifesting. Popular choices include rosemary (for prosperity and open paths), lavender (for balance and harmony), basil (for protection and comfort), chamomile (for serenity) and jasmine (to cultivate general pleasure), etc. You can mix various herbs of your choice, if you’re used to working with them, and also flowers.

Preparation with fresh herbs: If you’re using fresh herbs, start by cutting them on an angle to protect the plant. Gather at least 5 handfuls of leaves in a bowl with 1-2 l of water and stir it until the water gains color. To accelerate the process and get more juice from the leaves, I often grind some of them in my pestle: to do that, I add just a little bit of water to the herbs in the pestle so it’s easier to turn to mush. It’s fine if you don’t own a pestle, you’ll just have to stir it for a little longer. When you’re finished, use a strainer/sieve to get the herbs out of the water (if you don’t, some leaves will stick to your skin and you’ll have to get them out one by one since you’re not supposed to wash yourself with regular water after the shower).

Preparation with dry herbs: I’m more experienced with fresh herbs, thanks to my mother’s garden, but dry herbs will work too. You may opt for the same method used in the cleansing shower, replacing the coarse salt with the herbs, and using a strainer to get larger bits out of the water.

Duration: Just like the coarse salt shower!

✩ Tips!

When I can, I like to do a proper cleansing of my house beforehand. Think of it like getting in bed after a bath – you’re all fresh and clean, you want your bed sheets to be too, right?

The best days to perform it are friday, sunday or monday, since they symbolize endings and new beginnings.

I tend to do it at night, after my day is pretty much finished, so I can just relax after. I was dead serious when I said it’s draining!

Some people prefer herbal baths, in which case you wouldn’t have to work on the preparation as much, but I prefer showering so I’m not experienced in that.

The coarse salt can be replaced with a few other ingredients; there’s certain soaps and certain herbs that’ll have the same discharging effects. They’re usually harder to come across, but sometimes nicer to work with.

[infernalrevenge]

The Greatest Show

Fandom: Resident Evil 8: Village

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Rating: G

Summary: Donna and Angie attempt to cheer Reader up after a bad day.

Notes: A little bit of domesticity and comfort from our resident dollmaker. Yes, Reader is still a servant in the house while also being her partner -- because why not HAHAHA. Just thought this would be a fun silly thing to write.

----------

This day was not going the way you thought it would. Well, that was putting it nicely -- this day was going to shit.

It was bad enough that you had a hard time falling asleep last night and woke up in a sour mood, but then you had an argument with a new vendor at the village who not only exclaimed that there was no new shipment of vegetables that morning, but also had the gall to try and throw you out of the store under virtue that they "didn't want the freak servants of one of the freak lords tainting their good establishment." The fucking nerve!

When you got back to the manor empty-handed, fuming but attempting to prepare lunch (sans vegetables), you accidentally burned your hand on the hot stove. As if that wasn't bad enough, when you jumped back in pain, you knocked over a few plates onto the floor and had to clean all that up too. You had to complete all your other chores with just one usable hand, the other one wrapped in a loose bandage. Fantastic.

You wanted to scream. Just let out a long scream to let the frustration out.

But you didn't. You couldn't. You still had other things to do, and you weren't going to let a few setbacks ruin it all. You went about your day as usual -- or at least you tried to, because you didn't quite notice how you would grip onto cups a little tighter, with your jaw set and locked as your grit your teeth, and had a perpetual furrow in your brow that worried Donna and Angie.

"What's up with them?" the doll muttered as she watched you slam a tray down in the kitchen when you thought no one else was around.

Donna didn't reply, only looking at the tension you held in your posture -- like you were set to burst with just one wrong move.

Your thoughts were consumed with tasks to perform for the rest of the day, chanting "Just get through it, you'll be fine" over and over in your head like a mantra. You didn't want to worry Donna over such trivial matters. This was just one bad day. You were better than this! You could do this. Just get through it. Just push! Just do it!

It was close to evening when you found your last task for the day before supper: Tidying up the library. Maybe you'll see Donna and Angie there and they could help lift your spirits. Finally, something to look forward to! Angie would probably make some quip about your bandaged hand, and Donna would be winding down on the couch and picking out a movie to watch after supper while you could talk about something to take your mind off the stress. But when you were greeted with a dark and empty space, neither of them in sight, you only sighed in disappointment.

Just get through it, you'll be fine.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and blinked away the blurriness in your eyes, picking up the duster in the corner.

Just get through it, you'll be fine.

You looked up at the clock. Half an hour until supper. Right on time. You took a deep breath to calm yourself and headed for the kitchen.

You were already going through the menu in your head when you felt an insistent force collide onto your chest, nearly knocking you over.

"Angie?"

Donna wasn't with her, and didn't seem to be anywhere nearby either. She was merely floating on her own. "Y/N, just the person I'm lookin' for! Come on, I gotta show you something!" She seemed rather urgent and excited at the same time. What was she planning now?

She took your uninjured hand and started pulling.

"Wait, but I have to get ready for supper--”

"Supper schmupper, this is way more important!"

"But--”

Angie dragged you by the pant leg to the living room, leaving you no choice but to hop along and follow. There, you saw a table laying on its side covered in a shiny silky cloth, obscuring your view of what or who could be behind it. You could just barely see a familiar veil-clad head crouching underneath. Before you could ask, she yelled at you to sit down on the short stool in front of the set up.

"Angie, what's going on?"

"You'll see, I promise. Now be quiet, the show's about to start!"

With that, she waddled away behind the table, seemingly greeted by a chorus of soft giggles. You tucked your knees close to your chest and waited for the commotion to settle down... whatever this was. You were used to Angie's antics at this point, but what kind of show was she talking--

Suddenly, three puppets dressed like the lords popped up from behind the table, with another one looking like a smaller replica of Angie. They all had cutesy and somewhat exaggerated features, completely made out of felt, cloth, and stuffing. Like plushies.

What the...?

"Don't be sad, Y/N!" they said in unison, their voices remarkably similar to each respective lord, if not much higher in pitch.

"Welcome to the village, we're so glad you're here! Turn that frown upside down and give us a cheer!" they sang, each of the dolls moving along to the beat they made.

"Donna, Angie, w-what..." you started, but they kept singing. You weren't quite sure who exactly might be providing these voices -- the dolls themselves, maybe even Donna -- but you were getting more and more amused by the second.

After their short number, introducing each lord to you (Big Sister Dimi, Mr. Heisenberg, Moreau the Fish Man, and Angie, as you recall), they proceeded with the show proper. Apparently that song wasn't all the two of them had up their sleeves.

"Okay, everyone! We have something very important to do!" the doll that looked like Angie spoke up (probably played by Angie herself) "How do we cheer up a loved one?"

"A loved one?" Doll-Moreau repeated.

"Yes! When someone we care about is sad, we should help in any way we can to cheer them up, right?"

"Right!" Doll-Dimitrescu agreed.

You felt a small smile start to crack your facade. Was this all for you?

"But how do we do that?" Doll-Heisenberg chimed in.

"Well what are things that they like? What makes them happy?" Doll-Moreau asked, who turned to Doll-Angie.

"They like cookies! Chocolate chip are their favorite!"

As if on cue, you felt something tug on your leg, and you looked down to see a porcelain doll in a sailor suit lifting up a plate of cookies to you, littered with chunks of chocolate in the dough. "Thank you," you said softly, giving the little one a gentle pat on the head before they ran off back behind the table. You placed the plate on your lap and started to nibble on one as the show went on.

"What else can we do to make them happy?"

"They also like tea with their cookies!"

You could just barely hear someone whisper "Tea? Ew, why not milk?" before they were swiftly hushed. On cue again, another doll emerged with a cup of hot tea for you. You whispered another thanks before they went back, taking a sip of your drink.

"We can sing their favorite songs!" Doll-Heisenberg started trying to sing before Doll-Dimitrescu interfered with a swift knock to his head. "Not with your voice, you can't."

That was a little mean, but you couldn't help but laugh anyway. You would've choked on your tea if you had been drinking it still.

"Why don't we ask them?" Doll-Angie said, turning to face the audience -- you. "What would make you happy, Y/N?"

The smile on your face only widened, tapping a finger on your chin as you made a show of thinking deeply. Might as well play along if they put in so much effort. "Well, what would make me happy is to have my lovely girlfriend here to share these cookies with."

"You heard 'em, Donna, get over there!" The real Angie peeped from behind the table, with the puppet lords cheering on as well as she emerged from her hiding place. You didn't even need to see under her veil to know she was blushing madly at the attention, even though it was just you and the dolls in her company right now.

You moved the plate of cookies from your lap to make room for her. "Y/N..." she was about to protest, and you pouted in response, giving your best puppy dog impression and opening your arms. "I thought you wanted to cheer me up, love?"

With a sigh and a shake of her head, she settled herself on your lap, your arms wrapped around her waist to keep her steady. You looked up at her fondly and pulled her against you -- it suddenly felt like the day's worries had melted away, and all that mattered was having the woman you loved so close to you. That in itself was a great comfort.

Angie seemed to have taken the reins now, the show getting louder and more chaotic as it went on -- the dialogue was reminiscent of the banter you had with her, and some jokes were made at the expense of the other lords (and sometimes Donna), much to her embarrassment. You rested your chin on her shoulder and couldn't help but laugh along.

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Donna whispered, tilting her head slightly to look at you.

"You... noticed then?" Your shoulders sagged, head weighing heavier onto hers, feeling like you wanted to hide.

"I did. It was a little hard not to." She gently took your bandaged hand in hers, pressing a tender kiss onto it. "But I didn't want to stand by and not do something about it, so... I hope this was okay."

You felt your heart swell with affection for her -- when did you get so lucky to have such a thoughtful woman by your side? "More than okay. This was very sweet of you and Angie."

A moment passed before Donna spoke again, "I just want you to know that... if there's anything you want to talk about, anything at all, know that I'm here for you, love. Always."

You could almost feel a tear come to your eye at that, "I'll keep that in mind."

You caught a glimpse of her smile at this angle, "You know I'd do anything to see you happy."

And she could see yours, "You already do."

.

.

.

(After learning of the existence of these "lord puppets", it became a game between you and Angie to hide them in plain sight whenever each lord would come visit the estate and bet on how long it took for them to notice it.

Lord Heisenberg almost never seemed to see his -- you weren't sure if he just didn't care to look around, or found it once and opted to ignore it, muttering something about it being "creepy".

Lord Moreau took a while to find his too, but when he did, you couldn't forget the look of joy and flattery on his face. It was quite adorable, and it turned to how quickly he could find the doll in a new room instead.

Lady Dimitrescu never visited, but when you and Donna went over to her castle, you always made sure to bring it with you. You would catch her daughters trying to hide their snickers when you would just stand around carrying the doll like Donna did with Angie, but whenever the lady tried to find out why, she never thought to look at you to see the commotion. Your girlfriend sometimes scolded you for it, but Angie always had a high five ready for you at the end of every visit.)

[jisungs-tummy]

Hit or Miss... Or Kiss??

Part 1

Warnings: daddy/puppy kink, slight choking, first time sex, oral (f receiving) Changbin has experience, YN is a virgin, yea that;s all i can think of ANYWAYS here we go

m.list || part 2

Seo Changbin. Your first love. You were close friends before you caught feelings. The closest you got to anything was a kiss… more like making out, but you both played it off as just being “homies that kiss.” You were hanging out together at his house, watching movies and talking about nothing in particular. You wanted to kiss him again. Lucky for you, he felt the same, staring at you and allowing his gaze to fall to your lips. Your cheeks felt hot as he leaned forward. You did the same, allowing your lips to meet his. Changbin lifted a hand up to cup your cheek, slowly moving it down to your throat as your lips move in sync. He squeezed gently, earning a squeak from you. You weren’t complaining, though. You actually liked the feeling of his hand on your throat. It just felt… natural. Comfortable, even.

After a few minutes of making out, you pulled on his shirt and looked at him with puppy eyes. He pulls away to look at you. “YN?”

“Changbin… Uhm…”

He looks at you worriedly. “Are you okay? Did I do anything you didn’t like?”

You shake your head. “N-No, I liked everything… I just… I want more…”

Changbin blinks, processing your request before a smile paints itself on his face. “You do? Are you sure?”

 “I want you to be my first, Binnie....” you nod and mumble. 

He presses a kiss to your cheek, his gaze softening. “Tell me if you want to stop and we’ll stop, okay?”

You swooned at his gentle words, happy he cared so much about your comfort. 

“Okay. But before we do anything… I like you. A lot,” confess. Changbin didn’t say anything besides pressing a kiss to your forehead, a smirk falling upon his lips as he lowers his head to lick your neck, sucking on it lightly, just enough to not leave any visible marks. He trails his hands up your sides, squeezing the flesh softly. You tugged on his shirt and he moved to take it off, helping you out of yours and unclasping your bra. He stares at your exposed chest, which you try to cover up with your arms, but he kisses you, holding your wrists. “It’s okay. Are you okay?” You nod, feeling your cheeks burn. He pulls your arms away, kissing your chest gently, licking and biting here and there before taking your right nipple into his mouth, pinching your left between his thumb and forefinger. You sighed at the sensation. He then switched sides, taking your left nipple into his mouth and biting down softly, causing you to moan. He chuckled, moving back to kiss your neck, trailing kisses up to your lips. “Do you want to continue?” he mumbles against your lips, to which you nod slowly. 

He tugged on your shorts, pulling them off and staring down at you, causing you to squirm under his gaze. His eyes soften. “Are you sure you don’t want to stop? Are you okay?”

You nod, looking away. “I just… I don’t… I don’t like my body… What if you don’t like it either?” 

Changbin takes your face in his hands and places a soft kiss to your lips. “I think you’re so pretty. I think your body is perfect.” He pulls off your panties with your permission, shifting to lay on his tummy in front of your legs, looking up at you and kissing your shins. “Can I?” You hesitantly nod. He gently parts your legs, kissing your inner thighs. You cover your face in embarrassment, feeling shy now that you were completely bare in front of him. You had never been seen like this before and in all honesty, you felt so vulnerable it was embarrassing. You were pulled away from your thoughts when he licks a stripe up your slit, causing you to gasp. You cover your mouth to muffle a moan after he finds your clit. He chuckles and looks up. Your face burned when you look down to see his lips already wet with your arousal when he looks up at you, chuckling. “Nobody’s home. You can be as loud as you want.” He returns to what he was doing once you nod to acknowledge his words, quickly finding your clit once again and sucking on it harshly. You moan softly, bucking your hips up into his mouth subtly.

Changbin keeps up his actions, sticking his tongue in and out of your hole a few times before flicking over your clit. Your hands fly to his hair, running your fingers through his locks and tugging lightly. 

Once he had determined you were wet enough, he gets up and strips himself of his sweats and boxers, moving to lay beside you. “How are you feeling? Do you want to stop?” You look down at his hardened dick, swallowing hard. “I-I’m okay… I don’t want to stop.” He catches you staring and asks quietly, “Do you want to touch it? You can if you want.”

You reach out your hand to grip his length, moving your thumb over his slit in circular motions, spreading his pre-cum around his tip, making him sigh. You tighten your grip and move your hand up and down slightly. He moves his hand on top of yours, guiding your motions. You glance up at him and then back down, hesitantly bringing your lips to his tip, kissing it before taking it into your mouth, flicking your tongue over his slit. You feel him twitch in your hand. It tasted salty, his pre-cum. But not necessarily a bad kind of salty. You look up at him to see his bottom lip caught between his teeth, which brings a smirk to your lips, satisfied that you must be doing something right. You shift a little to lick him again and he asks if you want to suck it. You were a little too nervous, so you shook your head ‘no’, which he said was okay. 

“You don’t have to, that’s okay.”

“Changbin?”

“Yes?”

“Do you… Do you have condoms?”

He smiles at your shyness and gets up to open his bedside drawer, pulling out four stuck together, ripping one off from the rest. “Of course I do. You wanted to be safe, right?”

You nod at his question. 

“Okay, I’ll use one. But it usually feels better raw, so if you want to try that, tell me,” he says with a wink. You blush and lay on your back as he rolls the condom on, coming over to kiss your thighs and lick a stipe up your slit again, slowly pressing a finger into your hole to stretch you out, adding another when you moan and clench around his digits. After pumping them in and out for a few seconds, he crawls over you to kiss you gently. “Are you ready? Anytime you want to stop, just tell me and we’ll stop.”

You smile. “Yeah… I know. Uhm… Please be gentle at first...:”

He kisses you again. “I will, princess, don’t worry.”

He moves back to line himself up to your entrance, slowly pushing himself inside. It hurts, but you still let out a moan. He allows you to adjust before he started to move. “Does it hurt?” he asks softly. You shake your head once the burning sensation stopped. “Y-You can move now.”

He does just that, rocking his hips into you, earning a soft mewl that had slipped past your lips. After a while, you ask for more, “please, please, please.”

“Please what puppy?”

“M-More… please, I want more.”

He leans down to kiss your tummy and does as you ask. “Good girl.” He quickens his pace, gripping your hip with one hand and propping himself up with his other. You move your hand to hold his, moaning his name as he pounds into you. “You’re so tight…” he groans, slipping out of you by mistake, but quickly pushing back in. After a few minutes he slips out of you again, this time to tell you to get on your hands and knees. You obey his orders, turning around to get into the position he told you to get in. He runs his fingers up your slit before leaning down to lick you. You shudder and moan loudly when he pushes into you once more, the new angle feeling oh so good. You wiggle your behind, whining for him to move. He smirks and spanks you, waiting a few seconds before starting to move, hitting your sweet spot with every thrust. “R-Right there- Right there!”

Changbin growls, fucking into you roughly, making you a moaning mess beneath him. God, it felt so good that tears were forming in your eyes, a few falling down your cheeks. You arch your back, pressing your cheek against the sheets. “Fuck- Daddy-”

This sparks something inside of him, as he slaps your ass and growls again. “Fuck, puppy.. So pretty.”

Moaning louder, you bring back your hips to meet his, causing Changbin to tighten his grip on your hip, reaching to tug your hair. You wince, but it was a gentle pull, so it didn’t really hurt. A sharp contrast to how rough he was being as he fucks into you. After a few thrusts, he pulls out. “Can I get rid of the condom?” You nod, not really caring as one, you were on the pill, and two, you just want him back inside of you.. He strips off the rubber and slams back into you, eliciting a drawn out, sob-like moan from your lips as he hits just the right spot. 

“What’s my name?” he groans

“Daddy!”

“Again.”

“Daddy! Daddy- fuck!” you chant the name like a mantra, almost seeing stars as you feel the coil in your stomach to tighten. A few thrusts later the bubble pops and you can feel yourself come undone. He lets out a breathy moan as he pulls out. “C-Can I cum on your back?” “Yes.”

With your permission, he pumps his cock to release several warm spurts onto your lower back. You pant heavily as he leaves to get a towel to clean you up with, being as gentle as he can when he wipes your womanhood. 

“Do you need anything?” he asks. “Water… And my clothes…”

Your mouth has run dry from moaning so much and so loudly. Changbin presses a kiss to your lips and picks your clothes up off the floor, handing them to you before disappearing to get you what you asked for. When he comes back with a bottle of water, already opened for you, you’re already dressed and you thank him as you take the bottle from him. You take a long, refreshing drink of the liquid and sigh. He puts his own clothes on and sat on the bed next to you. “Are you okay? How was it?”

You feel your face flush at the question. “I’m okay… It was good. Thank you…”

“For what?”

“For being my first. And taking good care of me…”

Changbin smiles, cupping your cheek in his hand, bringing your lips to meet his. Your hands move to his chest, bunching up his shirt in your fists, sighing against his lips. When he pulls away, he pulls you into his chest, allowing you to rest your head above his heart. You can feel the vibration of his laughter in this position. “You’re shaking, YN”

“Hush…”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head, running his fingers through your hair. You enjoyed the feeling of being pet, so you hummed happily. You cuddled like that for the rest of the time you were there, enjoying your time together.

[crowned-ivy]

I Died in the End - a short story

A sort of character study in the form of contemporary literature.

Around 2.2k words

Trigger warnings: Death (not suicide, up for interpretation), depressive thoughts, minor drug use, minor mention of an eating disorder

It felt like I had opened my eyes for the first time. I was met with the clear blue sky, a colour that I felt was foreign to me, it made my eyes hurt. It was so bright, and as if it was the only thing around me. It truly felt like it was just me, as blueness engulfed my vision and I could barely keep my eyes open. In moments like these, I felt infinite. There were the shrilling sounds of seagulls around me, and the soft waves glistening in the harbour. The hard, wooden dock had started to pain me as I sat on it. The moment got me to thinking about the people who had spoken of how sitting by water had been calming and peaceful and I think that I was finally understanding it. Whilst contemplating my thoughts and feelings I’m not sure how long it had been, but that didn’t matter for once. I had decided to sit here for once and see what will happen. For once I didn’t care about anything around me. All that mattered was this feeling that I had fallen in love with. No matter how numb my ass was, I didn’t want this moment to end. I felt my humanity. I was conscious of my existence. I felt so small. But I was alive. This bright, blue sky, so high up, grounded me and I felt like I could breathe for the first time. And the air was clean. The tobacco in my lungs had cleared and I could feel the crisp air flowing through me. Clean. I was lightheaded, so high from this feeling. I felt like I could eat the world raw.

I was a new soul dropped into this world and I had no idea what I was doing. I had so many paths to choose from, I went along with whatever I came across. This time, I chose to get up from the hard wood and started along a new path. I needed to start getting home I supposed, as that’s what you’re supposed to do when you’ve finished your errands and had a nice sit-down. Right? So after this reawakening, I put in my earphones and I dreamily made my way home.

I walked over a bridge and smiled at an elderly man who I passed. I don’t usually do that though, I find strangers weird. He smiled back. It felt so strange and I wondered if anyone else had smiled at him today. Certainly, no one had smiled at me today. I continued walking, the sun still high and bright, I lost myself in the music playing through my ears. It was one of my favourites. There’s just something about the harmony that gives me goosebumps. It filled me with this cathartic feeling, letting go of the tensed feelings within me. It also crushed me, my heart clenched along with the melancholic tune. As the melody went on and faded out, so did my thoughts.

Oh, I missed the harmony. So I picked up my phone and restarted the song. I walked across the street, not looking if a car was coming. It was this fun, little game I like to play. I chant “hit me, hit me, hit me,” as I walk across. If I did get hit, I could probably get some money out of it. Drivers are always so reckless around here. There were many times before this when I had almost been hit. Unfortunately, they stopped in time and got angry at me. I don’t know when I started playing this little game, or why. I suppose I just didn’t care enough for myself, or I felt indestructible. Crap, I missed it again. I restarted the song.

I walked down the street and passed one of my friend’s houses. We hadn’t spoken in a while, I wondered how she would react if I just went and knocked for her. It wasn’t so strange to do that, right? Our friendship is quite rocky I must admit, for myself at least. I don’t know how she feels about it, we don’t talk about it. Maybe I should have gone to say hello, or something. But by the time I decided to maybe do so, I had already walked a few steps ahead and I didn’t want to turn back. So maybe next time. I missed my favourite part again...I restarted the song.

The walk home was never pleasant for me. The area always looked unrecognisable to me, even though I had been living here for quite some time. It wasn’t a place that I saw as my home. Also, no matter how I dressed for the weather and accommodated myself, I always ended up sweating through my clothes! I walked slower, I wore less constricting clothing, better fabrics, but no! I don’t know what I was doing wrong. The path was up a hill, and it was exhausting. I wish I had a car. I always get jealous of all the people who drive past me. They don’t know how tired I am. Fuck! Here comes the melody again. I stopped it and skipped to the next song. I was getting sick of it. Then I skipped to the next one, then again, and again...I couldn’t be satisfied. For the lack of my better judgment, I got out a cigarette and lit it. So much for better health, I had thought. The first blow felt good, but the following ones were just unsatisfying. Smoking is gross if I’m honest. It just made me think of all the bad people in my life, and how now we shared a common activity. So I decided to call my dad, it had been a while since we last spoke so I had some things to catch him up on. School, life, plans for the future, etc. It took a few rings but he answered.

“Hey, kiddo, what’s up?” He asked, though his voice sounded rushed,

“Oh, nothing much! Just on my way home, dad. How are you?” I always started my conversations like this. I felt guilty for calling out of the blue, “are you busy?” I added.

“Not really, I’m alright. Just at work. Did you need something?” He always asked.

“No, I just thought I’d call. It had been a while,” again. I inhaled the smoke into my lungs.

“Right okay, what’s on your mind?” Again. Exhaling, I felt like throwing up.

“Well, I was in town today, ran some errands. I finally have some plans for the summer. Will be joining some friends on a camping trip-”

“That’s really nice! Listen, how’s your economy? I’ll see if I can send you some money later this week,” I could hear how he was rushing himself. Again. The smoke danced between my fingers,

“No it’s fine, but thank you. I have-”

“Alright well, I’ll call you later! Gotta get back to work,” he finally said. We said our goodbye’s and he hung up. He never calls me back. Again. I couldn’t talk to him about anything but money anymore. My cigarette had burnt to the filter, so I threw it on the ground and continued walking. My head felt heavy and for the rest of the way home, I just floated.

Once I had finally made it into my apartment, after struggling with not being able to put the key into the lock right, I took off my shoes and sneezed. It was all that dust that had been collecting over the few weeks…I really needed to clean up. But what was the point of that? I was comfortable and there was no one who I was trying to impress. No one had been to my apartment in weeks. I hadn’t really made an effort to speak or keep in-person contact with anyone either. I don’t think anyone noticed though. Nobody notices anything. Yet I notice everything and I hated myself for it. So I wasn’t all too worried about the mess.

It was a simple, one-room apartment with a kitchen. It was pretty small, but enough for me. The walls were too white, I felt like I was in a hospital. The flooring was uneven, and it smelled like wet cardboard. Very unpleasant, but this is where life had led me to in the end. I didn’t deserve any better for now. As for the mess, there were papers on the floor and on the small table. Letters, appointment notices, notes, and pens hiding white marks on the table surface. Clothes that I hadn’t managed to put away littered the floor, so I just kicked them aside as I made my way to my desk. It is where I spent most of my time now. Staring at screens and every now and then watching the people through the window. Nobody noticed the staring though. I lived on the second floor of the building, well-hidden above everyone outside. I sat down and felt my whole body ache, I was exhausted. I supposed that I’d go eat something but honestly, the idea disgusted me. It didn’t satisfy me and all it did was add on unnecessary weight. The act of eating I found gross. The chewing, the food, the textures…I couldn’t handle it. So I just stared outside, as the heaven’s dimmed.

A pull to the outdoors lingered in me, how I hated being in this room. My chest rumbled as I thought of wanting to escape this place. Besides my better judgment, I got up and made new white marks on my small table. A pang jolted my body and I felt like I could finally do it. It all went by so fast and I had mapped out my plan of getting out of here! I needed a new path to walk…but why did I let myself end up so lonesome? I sat still and thought, my mind racing with ideas of where to go and what to do. The idea of starting anew, there was something wretched yet precious about it. Perhaps I needed to slow down. So I went for a cigarette on my balcony, where I watched the smoke fly away and taking my burdens with it. The night sky was as clear as it was during the day. I could see the dark blue and purple hues. The stars shone brightly, and they were loud. I felt so small underneath it all. Has there ever been any significance in my existence? Such a cliche, phony thought. Nothing more than some ponderings throughout teenage blues. I could imagine myself combusting right then and there all of a sudden, as my eyes stung on the brink of tears. You could say I was depressed but it felt way more than that. This burning feeling in my chest, which I mistook for heat melting my heart earlier in the day when really it was ice, ruining everything that I had worked so hard to obtain. Burning me harder, it was aching and I felt like a deer in the headlights. I tried to take a final, deep breath of fresh, night air before I stumbled back inside. My skin felt like it was on fire, it was unbearable but I knew I would face it as I always did.

I couldn’t really feel my arms anymore, but it wasn’t an unusual happening. I walked straight to my bed and laid down and thought that perhaps tomorrow will be the day I do something about it. But time went on and my head kept spinning, I felt so light until I felt my heart start to tighten and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe. I held myself and I couldn’t breathe.

The pain in my chest left me writhing in my bed. It brought me back to the times in which I felt most vulnerable. When my mother would shout at me, when my friends would leave me for others and when every important thing in my life shattered. Is this it? My heart broke as each second passed, and my skin was on fire. I couldn’t feel the tears streaming down my face. Yet the hot, thick tears drenched me. I couldn’t hear my screams of agony. Yet my throat felt like it was burning and my lungs were being torn apart. Is this what it has all been about? My heart felt like it was being squeezed, all the life from it being wrenched out of my body. I clutched my arms around myself, holding myself together. I lay in my bed for what felt like days. The outside light constantly changing in front of my closed eyes. Then it all vanished. My head all of a sudden felt so clear, like a blue, summer’s sky. Relief. I couldn’t feel that pain anymore and I let out a steady breath. Was this what it was all about? The truth of pain, and how even after the worst things happen you can still survive? There must be some pattern here.

I slowly sat up, still in shock from the anguish I had felt. I did not want to trigger anything more. So I took my time. As I lifted myself off my bed, I got out to fetch myself some water. I had a thirst. But once I had gotten my water and drank from the glass, it felt unfulfilling. It was so unsatisfactory that I believe it had put me off water for life. Yet, this unfulfilling feeling felt...familiar. I walked back to my bed, and that’s where I saw myself for the first time. There was nothing left for me. So I left.

[hangovercurse]

I’ll Be Here

Colson tries to take you out for a nice dinner, but things don’t go exactly as planned.

Request: “hey there !! i absolutely love your work and was wondering if you'd consider writing something where the reader struggles with an ED? and Colson finds out? Just an angsty hurt/comfort-y kind of thing maybe? If you aren't comfortable/don't have the time then no worries !! I hope you have a lovely day ♥️🐇”

Colson x reader

Warnings: Eating disorders (explicit), cursing, vomit

A/N: If you are struggling with an eating disorder, there is help. The National Eating Disorders Association Hotline is 1-800-931-2237 and the national hopeline (for any and all crises) 1-800-442-4673. It gets better, I promise.

A/N part 2: This is really personal to me, as I am currently in treatment for an ED and still very much suffer from those impulses. If you are struggling and need to talk to someone who has been where you are, my dms are always open.

Word Count: 3107

Friday nights were always date nights. They had been since you and Colson had gone out on a Friday for your first date, 3 months ago. And tonight was no exception, but you wanted nothing more than to cancel.

Colson had announced he would be taking you to a very fancy restaurant that would be serving you both a five-course meal. “Babe, I won’t be able to eat all of that.” You told him, being completely serious.

He laughed it off, thinking you were just being overdramatic. “Don’t worry, I’ll eat whatever you don’t.” You pretended to laugh along, but in reality, your stomach was churning with the thought of how much food you’d be eating come Friday.

And now it was here, and you felt no more confident in yourself. You hadn’t eaten in almost two days to prepare for this, even though you’d gone longer for less before. You had been trying to eat more whenever Colson was around so he wouldn’t pick up on anything, but he was starting to be around a lot more, and it was getting harder to fake normalcy.

You were getting ready at your house, your hair and makeup done. You pulled the dress you planned on wearing out of your closet, a loose black dress with gold accents on it. You were hoping that it’s flowing would hide your figure. You caught a glimpse of yourself in your mirror, only a bra and underwear covering you. You scowled in disgust at your figure, sucking in your stomach and straightening your posture to try and flatten yourself out, but it didn’t help.

Before you could get more upset with yourself, you turned away from the mirror and put the dress on. “Tonight is going to be a good night.” You chanted to yourself.

Colson picked you up, looking sexy as ever. He was in a pair of blue pants, a plain white t-shirt, and a blue jacket. “You clean up nicely.” You smiled as he pulled you in for a quick kiss.

“You look fuckin’ incredible, babe.” He told you as he separated your lips. “Like, seriously, how did I get so lucky?”

You rolled your eyes, cringing internally but externally walking to the other side of his car. “If anyone here is lucky it’s me.”

The restaurant was, as he promised, hella fancy. The hostess led you both to a table in the far corner of the restaurant, away from peering eyes. You were handed a menu with five course headings on it and 3 options under each.

You looked at Colson with wide eyes, only to find him grinning at the menu. You decided not to say anything, not wanting to ruin his good night with all of your problems. You knew he would find out eventually, but you determined that tonight would not be that time. So, you gave the waitress your orders. Colson ordered a bottle of white wine for you two to sip on.

Before you know it, the first course had arrived. It was small, thank goodness, as it was only hors d’oeuvres, but you usually only ate that much food in a day, you couldn’t imagine how the next courses would go.

You had to admit, despite your hatred for food, the shallot and pancetta tortilla crisps were good. You figured this could be easy if you just let yourself relax. You let yourself fall into easy conversation with your boyfriend.

Then the appetizer came out, stuffed mushrooms. You struggled your way through, eating very slowly so that Colson would hopefully not notice that you were only eating half the amount that he was.

You got about halfway through your salad before your entire body said “stop.” You physically couldn’t eat anymore, the thought of holding your fork made you want to throw up. You got distracted by trying to calm yourself down that you were completely ignoring Colson.

“Y/N, are you listening?”

You snapped your head up from your plate to meet his eyes, a sorry expression coming onto your face. “Yeah, sorry. I just got distracted. I’m good.”

Colson eyed you wearily before continuing whatever he was talking about. The waitress brought out the fourth course in the meantime; your main meal. You had gotten Chicken Francese, hoping it would be the lightest thing on the menu. You were wrong.

The chicken was huge. You tried to smile at the waitress, but you couldn’t even look her in the face, too focused on how the hell you were going to pretend to eat this chicken. Colson sent a look in your direction before giving the waitress a polite, “thank you.”

Once she had left, he glared at you. You looked up once again, “what?” Your voice was quiet.

Colson grumbled, “nothing.” You gave a small pout when he looked away from you, cutting into his food. You decided it was better not to respond to him.

Instead, you returned your attention to the food in front of you. The tossing and turning of your stomach reminded you how disgusting you already felt. You could hear the faintest whispers of the devil in the back of your mind.

You’re gonna eat all that? Think about everything else you’ve consumed already! No wonder you’re so fat.

He’s never gonna stay with someone who eats as much as you do.

You shooed them away, taking your fork and knife in your hand. You cut the chicken into a few small pieces, taking nibbles at them, and pretending to enjoy it. You and Colson had stopped talking, and you could feel his irritation building.

You looked up to see his plate almost half empty, Jesus how could he eat so fast? He met your gaze, glancing down to your plate and scowling. “Why aren’t you eating?”

You looked down, a small sigh escaping your mouth. “I’m just not that hungry, I guess.” You bit your lip, about to continue when he cut you off “I told y-“

“Do you not like it?”

You shook your head, “No, it’s no th-“

Colson let out a frustrated sigh, “well, sorry Y/N. Tried to do something nice for you but apparently even this isn’t good enough for you.”

You wanted to scream at him, “that’s not what this is about you fucking idiot!” But you were in a very nice restaurant and the patrons would not appreciate that at all.

If you kept pushing, it would end up going in that direction, so you decided not to explain yourself. Instead, you forced the food down, showing Colson that you were eating it. He scoffed every time you made a show of putting the fork into your mouth and chewing the chicken.

Every swallow felt like an anchor dropping into your stomach. Your stomach was bubbling like some kind of witch’s brew.

When dessert arrived, you wanted to get up and walk out, but Colson was already on edge and you didn’t want to make it any worse. You both hadn’t spoken much, but you could tell he was getting frustrated with you. It was the worst feeling in the world.

Your stupid insecurities are ruining his life.

You can’t even stop thinking about yourself for one night to let him have a good time?

Talk about selfish.

You pushed the thoughts down, taking a small bite of the apple crème brûlée. It felt like a tipping point, like if you ate anything else you would throw up right then and there.

You placed your spoon down onto your plate, harsher than you had hoped. You mumbled out a quick, “I’ll be right back.” Before standing up and making your way to the restrooms.

Luckily, there was no one inside, though you knew that could change at any moment. You locked yourself in the stall furthest away from the door, crouching down in your heels.

It only took a few moments before the food you had just eaten came up, your vomit filling the toilet bowl. You tried to keep your gags quiet in case anyone were to walk in.

He tries to take you on a nice date and you’re in the bathroom, puking.

Like I said, selfish.

I don’t even know why he stays with you, honestly

You’re not pretty, you’re not very smart, you’re not much of anything at all, really.

You’re a drama queen!

Maybe you should just stop eating for good

Then this wouldn’t be an issue

You don’t know when the tears started, but they were streaming down your face. You grabbed a handful of toilet paper, softly dabbing your face to hopefully clear your skin of any makeup that may have run off.

You flushed the toilet, piecing yourself together haphazardly. You stood up, stumbling out of the stall, and facing yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were slightly puffy, but none of your makeup had smeared, luckily.

Disgusting

You sighed, glancing up to prevent more tears from falling. You put a fake smile on your face, walking out of the restroom and to your table. When Colson saw you, he stood up abruptly. “I already paid, let’s go.” His voice wasn’t loud, but it was harsh enough for you to know he was angry.

He walked in front of you as you made your way to the car. His hand never found yours like it normally would, there was no warmth coming from him, only a cold distance. The car ride to your house was silent. You wanted to say something, but you couldn’t quite find the words. At one point you’d reached out to place your hand on top of his, but he jerked his hand away, his other hand gripping the wheel tighter.

When he finally pulled into your driveway, you sat there for a few moments, studying his face as he looked straight ahead. “Colson,” You whispered.

“Don’t.”

You sighed, your eyes filling with tears again. You hated almost everything about yourself, but you hated when he was mad at you even more.

You don’t deserve him.

You nodded to yourself, opening the door and stepping out of the car. As much as you wanted to explain yourself and beg him to forgive you, you knew what was best for him. If you let him leave now, he wouldn’t have to bear the burden of your problems. He could be free to find something better. Someone better.

So, you went inside, tears falling down your face the entire way in.

Colson almost didn’t catch the glossy look in your eyes, or the red swelling around them. But he did, and it made him feel all sorts of weird inside.

Why did he have to get so mad?

It was just a stupid dinner.

He knew he was being too hard on you, but he was just trying to do something romantic.

Is that too much to ask for?

Apparently so.

But he shook off his thoughts, turning his car off and making his way to your now closed door. Even if he was upset, he needed to make sure you were alright.

When he walked in, the lights were all off, the house very dark and very quiet. You had only gone in a few moments before him, where were you?

His questions were answered by small gasps coming from your guest bathroom, mixed with sobs. He ran to where you were, throwing the door open and turning on the light.

He found you sitting over the toilet, your bile in the bowl. A look of worry immediately flooded his features, and he kneeled down beside you. He wrapped one of his arms around you loosely, his other rubbing your back. You leaned back into his chest, sobs shaking your entire body. “I’m- sorry.” Your words were very choppy, interrupted by your gasps for air.

“It’s okay, baby.” He sighed, resting his chin on the crown of your forehead.

You shook your head, determinately. “I tried,” a sniffle, “really hard.”

His arm on your back joined the one around your waist, rubbing circles into your stomach. You pulled away from the motion, but he kept you firmly in his grasp. “I couldn’t do it.”

Your whispers sounded so weak, so pathetic. Colson wracked his brain for an explanation. This had to be more than just the food not tasting good. Maybe you were sick?

“Shhh, baby. It’s okay. I’m not upset.” He whispered, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your temple. You both sat like that for a while, your chest heaving and his soft words calming you down.

Eventually you were able to collect yourself enough to form coherent thoughts. “I’m sorry I ruined date night.” You mumbled, your hand moving to stop his from their movement.

“It’s okay, babe. You can’t control this shit.” He whispered.

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this shit though!” You shouted as best as you could, your hoarse voice making it sound more like a whine. “If I weren’t so-“ You cut yourself off, wanting to save him the burden of knowledge. If you told him he would either feel disgusted with you and leave or feel sorry for you and stay. You didn’t know which one you were more scared of.

Colson brought his lips to your temple again, “Babe, it’s okay. You should’ve told me you were sick. We could’ve rescheduled.”

His words made you let out a dry laugh, “I’m sick alright.” You mumbled, tears rolling down your eyes again. “But not that kind of sick.” You whispered.

You looked back at your boyfriend, turning so that your entire body was facing him. You could see the confusion in his features. “I want to help you, but I have no idea what’s going on. I can’t read your mind, babe, you gotta tell me.”

You shook your head, looking to the floor. “Trust me, it’s better if you don’t know. You don’t want to know.”

He took your chin in his hand, guiding you up to look at him again, “I do wanna know, Y/N. I wanna help you.”

Your eyes looked everywhere but his, shutting momentarily as more tears fell. You took a deep breath in through your nose, trying to find where to start.

“I have an eating disorder.” You whispered, trying to get the words out as possible so you couldn’t take them back. Colson’s eyes went wide with realization, “I was diagnosed with a purge disorder when I was like, 16. I think it’s morphed into anorexia since then.” Your entire body was shaking with nerves.

He’s gonna hate you now.

You’re disgusting.

Colson grabbed your face with both hands, cradling it gently. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I never should’ve taken you-“

“You didn’t know.” You shut down his thoughts. He shouldn’t blame himself for your problems. “It’s not your fault. I thought I could just suck it up and get through it but, obviously I couldn’t.” You shrugged, letting out a frustrated sigh.

His hands fell from your face, grabbing your hips and lightly dragging you closer to him. He moved your legs to rest on his outstretched ones as he spoke, “I shouldn’t have gotten so mad about it, though. I was so frustrated because I thought you didn’t like it. I was embarrassed because I just wanted to impress you.”

You reached your arms up to wrap around his neck, holding yourself up. “I was very impressed, and it’s not that I didn’t like it. Food is just really hard for me. I’ve gotten so used to eating next to nothing. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to eat like a regular person.” He nodded, a frown on his face. “I’m sorry.” You whispered.

“You don’t have to be sorry; you didn’t do anything wrong. This is just part of who you are.” He looked into your eyes, deeply.

You sighed, “I- I guess. But I didn’t want to have to burden you with all this shit. You shouldn’t have to put up with all this. You deserve better.”

He scrunched his face, “Woah woah woah. Y/N you are not a burden. I told you, this is just part of who you are, and I love who you are. I’m not putting up with anything, I’m accepting you for every part of who you are. I don’t want anyone else; I just need you.”

His words made your heart race. He sure knew how to string lines together. “You love me?” You asked, softly. He’d never said those words to you before. Sure, you had thought them, but you were scared he’d think it was too soon.

He smiled, leaning to kiss your forehead, “yes, you dummy.” He chuckled against your skin.

“I love you.” You whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.” He mumbled and you sniffled.

Your first thought was to apologize, but you knew he’d stop you in your tracks. “I just don’t want you to feel sorry for me or think I’m weak. I’ve been dealing with this shit for years now.” You paused, a thought crossing your head. You whispered it to yourself before you even realized he would hear, “maybe I am weak.”

“Hey,” he kept your head in place when you started to drift towards the floor, “you are not weak. This just proves how strong you are. You’ve lived with this for how long now? And you’re still fighting. That’s not weakness, babe. That’s strength.”

“Sor-“ You cut yourself off, “If I was really strong, I’d be over this shit now.”

“It’s a disease, baby. It’s just like a broken bone. It’s not gonna get better unless you treat it. You’ve been trying to hide it for so long now, let me help. We can get you a nutritionist, and a therapist, and we’ll stock up on whatever food you can eat, and we’ll work on it together. Whatever you need.”

“Are you sure? That’s a lot of work, Cols. I’m not sure if I’m wor-“

He cut you off, blue eyes staring deep into your own. “You are worth all of this and more. Don’t think for a second that you’re not. You deserve to be happy and healthy and I am gonna be here to support you for as long as you want me here.”

You paused for a moment, taking in his words. “Thank you.” You whispered, “For tonight and for all this. Just, thank you. For everything.”

“I love you.” He pulled you closer to him, hugging you tightly. “Thank you for telling me. I know it wasn’t easy.”

“I love you too, Colson.”

[twofrontteethstillcrooked]

1 Oct. Suptober: Harvest

"Going to have a proper harvest for once," she said. The other witch laughed in agreement. "Think of the price we'll fetch for pure angel grace."

post-15x09 au snippetfic; deancas, samwena 

"Get the fuck away from him," Cas rasped, and it was the swear as much as the simple fact of Cas being alive that caused Dean to gasp and open his eyes.

He'd screwed them shut in anticipation of a killing blow that never landed. The witch had reeled around and away from Dean toward Cas, and the dagger in her hand glinted in the one of bar of light that was piercing through the boarded up basement window.

Dungeon window, more like. Cave window. The darkness made it difficult to determine where exactly Cas was in relation to Dean. A few feet away? Way on the other side of the room, maybe still half slumped against the spiderwebbed stone wall? Dean tried, and failed, to stand. Something was oozing into his right eye; his legs wobbled like the floor was made of bouncy house.

"Cas," he said once without the sound reaching his own ears. He fell backwards, wooden slats splintering on his weight.

In the dusty beam, the tip of Cas's angel blade blazed like a falling star that blinked out as the second witch holding it stalked into the dark again. 

Dean heard her guttered low cackle, as though she were a radio station the dial had finally properly tuned. His whole body went cold. 

"Going to have a proper harvest for once," she said. The other witch laughed in agreement. "Think of the price we'll fetch for pure angel grace."

"And feathers," the other crowed, before beginning a frantic chant in a language Dean did not recognize.

"Feathers, yessss." The witch's hiss poured like venom into Dean's veins. 

His eyes had adjusted only enough to see the angel blade raised high, and, somehow, the shadow of Cas's wings spread singed and mangled on the wall.

"Or perhaps both wings."

No, Dean thought. No, no, no, no. Please, no.

"We can hack them off at the--"

She'd stopped talking because her head was whizzing past Dean's own. He might have yelped in the effort to dodge it. Overhead fluorescent light banged into the room. Rowena stood in the door, arm raised like she was hoisting an invisible car over a fence; the witch who still had a head had crumpled to the ground. Sam stood over the beheaded body, breathing heavily and wild eyed as a banshee, small sword still aloft dripping red.

The witch on the floor squeaked once, like a mouse stepped on by a particularly pointed heel, and fell silent. 

From beneath her now unmoving form, what seemed like a mere pool of ink spread and spread until it almost touched Dean's boot.

He couldn't catch his breath. The room was quiet like a roar and he could not stand up. He thought to rub at the wetness in his eye and found the substance was sticky. Pressing harder made fire race into his eye socket and up his temple.

Sam was moving towards him, weapon thrown down with a clatter, but Cas arrived first, his face, wracked with fear and dappled with blood across his cheekbone, swimming into view as he knelt.

If his was the last face Dean was ever to see, Dean could take some comfort in it. He refused to close his eyes again.

"Hey, buddy," Dean said, smiling lopsided and rueful. 

Cas's hand fell to cup Dean's jaw like a blessing; it turned out Dean was lying down, though Dean had no memory of seeking earth. 

Cas's other thumb rubbed across Dean's forehead like he was tracing runes onto Dean's skin. Dean felt something crackle beneath his bones: for a split-second, his heart stopped, suspended in pain. The next second was like being punched out of a cannon -- he sat up and nearly knocked his newly healed skull directly into Cas's.

"Dean," Cas breathed in relief despite the pallor of his complexion and the way his hands shook as they pulled away from Dean. Then: "Thank you," he told Sam, who nodded and hauled him to his feet by the elbows before reaching to do the same for Dean.

Sam patted Dean on the shoulder. Rowena stepped around the puddle of witch and grinned her smug grin. 

Cas looked at Dean like he might vanish and Dean returned the stare until he had to look away or… Or. 

There was crimson on the sleeve of Cas's trench, in a crease.

Rowena and Sam collected the angel blade, the dagger, the gory sword. Dean collected himself. He followed Cas's heavier than usual trudge up the stairs and into the coming dusk. The ache of wanting to gather Cas into his arms followed him all the way back to the motel.

In the other room, Sam was talking to Jack on the phone while Rowena hooted. Well, that's what it sounded like she was doing anyway, and since there was a child in the mix, albeit a twenty-something toddler who was 90 miles away, hooting was by far the least concerning noise she could have been making.

Not that Dean in any way was going to ponder what other sounds she might choose to unleash in a room also containing his brother. He sat on the edge of the bed nearest the bathroom and stared at the three jack o'lantern sized pumpkins that he and Cas had bought at a roadside stand a few hours before the case went witch-shaped. He envisioned the pumpkins with toothy grins and chose not to think about anything else with such effort it was a miracle he wasn't carving the gourds psychically.

Cas came out of the bathroom sans trenchcoat -- which was to say, almost naked -- and with a clean face. He sat down beside Dean carefully. "How are you feeling?" He looked at Dean with soft eyes, like Dean was the only concern worth voicing.

After a moment, Cas sighed into the space Dean was supposed to have filled.

"I guess," Dean started. He gave his own sigh. "We've fixed a lot of things, recently, haven't we?"

Cas tipped his head, waiting for Dean to continue.

"Like. Chuck's out there. But. Jack has his soul. Rowena isn't dead. You don't have a deal with the freakin Empty dogging your heels bad as a pack of hellhounds." Dean curled his fingers like his hands were going to betray him somehow; his throat felt full of glass. "You gotta stop saving me, man."

Cas took a breath like Dean had struck him. A variety of memories of actually hitting Cas -- blood crisscrossing, bruises blooming -- flashed through Dean so quickly he almost retched. 

He was trying to keep his mouth closed and his treacherous stomach obedient when Cas said, "You cannot ask me not to help when I can still help."

"You're the one who said I wasn't listening about your powers--" He held up a hand against the protest he could see Cas about to make. "And you were right. I dunno what to do about it, but I know you havin' to heal my dumb ass nine times a week isn't makin' things better."

Dean could see Cas's eyes were wet.

The shards in Dean's throat made it hard to speak. "You're worth more to us, to me, than just what you can do as a powered-up angel." He nudged Cas's knee with his own. "You know that, right? Not that I'm not grateful as hell for you fixing me up tonight, 'cause I am. Grateful, I mean."

He looked at Cas, whose exhaustion seemed to be draped around him like a cloak. Dean was tired too, and not just from the major brain injury he'd sustained earlier. He’d wasted so much time not saying certain things, not letting certain things happen; he’d protected the wrong things, maybe, or maybe the right thing the wrong ways.

Maybe he could blame lingering effects, illusory or otherwise, on what he chose to do next. 

Cas, he prayed, you might have died tonight. We… I. I almost lost you again. 

A prayer continued, whispered: Please let me hold you.

Beside him, Cas startled, looked over at him. Searched Dean's eyes and shook his head just a little, as though he could not believe what he'd heard -- as though having hoped, but misheard, was too agonizing a possibility to endure.

"Please," Dean said, sliding an arm around Cas's back, sliding himself closer on the mattress until he'd vanished the space between them.

Cas turned into Dean's arms. "I almost lost you again tonight too." His voice brimmed with tears. He hooked his chin over Dean's shoulder and Dean soothed his hands over the blades of Cas's shoulders. He thought of the shadow of those majestic, tattered wings, and held on more tightly. 

He and Cas rested like that, trembling, for what seemed like an hour or more, neither of them willing to let go. When sitting upright became less comfortable, they reclined together on top of the polyester comforter patterned in pinecones. Cas tucked himself into the hollow of Dean's body, as though he had done it before somewhere other than in Dean's imagination. Dean pressed his face into Cas's soft hair and let his eyes burn as they would.

None of it solved anything; it was simply more right than anything Dean had felt in a very long time.

[djmarinizelablog]

angst prompt? sorry, tehee. Levi is getting old and he so anxious about gradually forgetting Hange's face and voice? thanks!

Here's another take of mine on the AOT afterlife, similar to Sycamores:

------------------------

1.

Seances are anything but real, or so he thinks. Gabi and Falco have been talking about the third eye, of people speaking to the dead. Onyankopon calls them spiritual believers. Levi thinks ‘lunatics’ is more appropriate. Nevertheless, his curiosity gets the better of him. They're drinking tea for breakfast when Onyankopon brings it up.

"So how does it work exactly?"

"The séance?" Onyankopon's amused at his interest. "We'll contact the spirit world to ask questions. Seek guidance, maybe."

Levi murmurs into his cup, "What a load of rubbish."

He has never expected Onyankopon to believe in these things. With all the realities of the war that has happened right before their very eyes, it's a challenge to wonder about the supernatural. These things only happen in horror films and haunted places, at least to Levi.

Gabi and Falco had asked him to watch this movie with him before---a ghost able to touch his beloved who remains in the world of the living. It's complete nonsense to him. Even with the power of the Paths, there's no way the dead can come back. Dead people stay dead. And the living should let them be.

Then again, he thinks of the possibilities.

"We should try it, you know?" Onyankopon breaks his train of thought.

"Yeah, maybe." He doesn't meet the man's eyes.

When they're done with their tea, Onyankopon helps him out of his wheelchair, one arm around his shoulder as he hoists Levi up the stairs and into his bedroom. It's been like this the past few years. He doesn't like being taken care of, which makes him feel like he's dead weight to society and to people trying to earn a living. Some days when the weather permits, he's able to walk lengths with a cane, the limp oblivious to anyone who sees him. The memories of the war remain on his face, though, one hand with less fingers running through the length of the scar.

Before Onyankopon heads for the door, he cranes his neck at Levi sitting on the mattress. "Maybe find something that holds some meaning for you? Something that connects you with the departed?"

He doesn't need to think about it, really; he already knows what that something is. There's the unsettling silence, then the seconds that stretch. Levi mutters, "I'll think about it," and then Onyankopon is gone.

2.

Levi would have a field day cleaning up after this so-called séance. The room smells of lavender candles with a hint of cinnamon and lemongrass. The two kids have lit up some incense in addition to that, thin wisps of smoke slowly dissipating into the open space. The scent is overpowering enough for him. Thick curtains replaced his usual ones in the living room, the light now unable to penetrate through the windows. They have also laid out a darker tablecloth on top of his dining table.

Falco is holding a photo of this young man who looks just like him. He's hoping it's enough to allow him to make contact with his deceased brother, Colt. The young girl has another photo, but with two children in it---"Udo and Zofia died during the Raid of Liberio," she explains.

They then look at the captain, their eyes hopeful. Levi takes out his handkerchief from his pocket and lays it out in his palm to reveal a bolo tie. "It's not much," he says.

Gabi gasps before composing herself. She knows what it is, and who it belongs to. Falco's face is still questioning, and so Gabi whispers the name to him before he mouths an "Oh."

So now the boy's in the secret, his little secret. Hange used to wear this as part of their uniform. They had given it to the captain before the blip took off that day, before the Alliance won the war. Levi's not a fan of sentimental objects, but he’s kept the bolo tie tucked in his cravat all these years. He hasn’t really held it since, let alone look at it.

Onyankopon doesn't say anything else like he's been expecting this from Levi. He simply nods and begins the séance. They're all leaning against the table, the tips of their fingers on the crystallized ornament, Gabi's and Falco's other hand on each of the photos they held.

"What do you expect?"

"Bad ghosts ransacking this house." Levi shrugs his shoulders. "Spirits of dead soldiers unable to rest."

"I just want to talk to my brother," Falco says, his voice low.

Onyankopon closes his eyes and chants a few lines. His lips rapidly murmur what seems to be an incantation, and Levi tries his best not to snort ("It will disturb the spirits," Onyankopon warned them about distractions). They let the reverberations linger in the air, all the minute tremors bearing the bass of Onyankopon’s voice. Beside him are Gabi and Falco shivering. If this is excitement or anticipation, the two kids are doing a poor job at hiding it at all. Levi doesn’t know how to take it from here. He can imagine a million things: things moving on their own, voices whispering everywhere, unusual lights, and then---

Nothing happens. Onyankopon finishes calling out to the spirits, but the candlelight is still flickering, no voices, no movements, no lights, no ghosts. Their hands remain immobile atop the table.

Levi clicks his tongue. "We're wasting our time."

The boy sighs. "And to think I was expecting..."

"At least we know we don't have any vile spirits running around here," Gabi consoles Falco.

Onyankopon helps him into their usual routine after the kids leave. Levi’s face remains as stoic as ever as the taller man escorts him into his room. He wasn’t sure what to feel---did he really expect something would happen? That they would come back to life?

"I'm sorry about that," Onyankopon apologizes.

"Don't be," Levi says, his good hand still clutching the cravat with the bolo tie. It's no one's fault, and he knows this. No one can produce ghosts to make the solitude bearable. Instead of returning it to the drawer of his bedside table, he lays the ornament on top of it, right beside the candle. The crystal part has already dulled from the years of weathering. Maybe he should polish it one of these days.

Onyankopon’s about to bid him goodnight when lightning and thunder announce their presence. The lights went out in the instant, leaving them in utter darkness.

“What happened?” Levi asks.

“Electricity’s down.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

There’s some shuffling around the room and Levi can tell that Onyankopon’s trying to find a candle to light up. Levi tells him he keeps one inside the bathroom. It’s dark out, but both of them can hear the start of a downpour, fat droplets of rain hitting the window. The séance is still replaying in his mind. But probably an outage in the area is to blame.

Levi can hear Onyankopon’s footsteps coming near him. It’s as if he’s completely blind, having to feel his way so that he can take the candle from his companion.

“You can stay in the extra room downstairs,” Levi tells him.

“Thank you, Captain.”

Onyankopon leaves him on his own when Levi lights up the small candle and lets it rest near his bedside table, right beside his cravat. Before he finally lies down, he reaches out a hand towards the bolo tie tucked inside, fingertips barely touching it. Still there, he thinks.

3.

He doesn't remember leaving the window open that night. The candlelight is still burning, the wick already nearing the bottom, the flame ready to die. Levi wakes up and the light is already touching his face. Except it isn’t just light. More like a shadow, a figure without a sound.

Upon instinct, he grabs his knife underneath his pillow---a habit he has brought with him since his military days---and palms the hilt. He limps towards the window, dragging his bad leg across the wooden floor. The breeze blows through the curtain and Levi raises his arms and stops.

"Hange."

There's a smile on Hange's face. "Levi."

The knife clunks to the floor.

----------------

to be continued, maybe?

[aquarianwisp]

Cleansing, blessing, and protection basics

If you are new to witchcraft this guide is for you, but even if you are seasoned in the craft I still think it’s a really good idea to read other witches posts for new ideas and inspiration!~ Cleansing is such an important practice for anyone, not just witches. It is very commonly seen in many different cultures and religions worldwide and is practised in many different ways depending on the tools being used. Cleansing can be done with the help of deities or spirits, or it can be done in a secular way as well with reliance on your own energy or tools. Some people have different beliefs around when cleansing should be done and what rituals should be done at different times of the year. My path is one that works with the natural flows of energy around me, and I call upon deities and spirits to help me in my workings. I cleanse as I feel it is needed, and during the new moon period as well. However, you can adjust your practices to suit your own path and what makes you feel happiest.

Reasons to cleanse and when it should be done: Cleansing is so important for many reasons. It gets rid of heavy emotional energy, it prevents us from being influenced by unwanted energies, it gets rid of negative entities, and it helps to protect us in some cases, depending on what you are doing. You might want to cleanse when there has been a fight, or when an activity has been repeated in an area (like stress in a workplace) and a residue of the emotions felt while doing that activity has been left.  Another time to cleanse would be after someone has been sick. It is best to wait until the person has become well again because if you cleanse while they are resting in their sick room and you use smoke you may make them feel more unwell. Once they are better again, it is good to go into the room they were resting in and give it a good cleanse to banish evil spirits and fumigate. Overall though, it is good to give things a cleanse even if nothing negative has happened. Spiritual people don’t always feel wonderful and magical all the time, and we aren’t immune to creating bad energy. Sometimes you come home and you’ve had a bad day, or you might just be tired, or you feel angry, stressed, etc. Maybe you’ve had a party and all your friends left their energy in your house. Even if nothing happened, this everyday stuff just builds up and needs to be removed every now and then. This is why it’s often good to set a regular cleansing time, such as the monthly new moon as well. Things that can be cleansed Pretty much anything can be cleansed. Commonly though, people cleanse their homes, their bodies, other people, objects, spiritual tools, and charms. There is really no end to what can be cleansed, and there is no end to what can pick up negative energy. Even your phone could pick up negative energy, and you then carry that around everywhere and touch it non-stop, allowing it to affect you. Tarot cards and other divination tools I would actually suggest to cleanse more often than other tools because they tend to pick up negative energies faster.  What you can use to cleanse Smoke- This is one of the most common methods for cleansing, and you can use bundles of dried herbs, resins, or incenses to do this. You just need to light them up and waft the smoke around whatever is being cleansed. Cleaning your house- Clutter, dirt, mould, and mess attract bad energy that likes to hang in your laundry pile. Cleaning also helps us feel a lot less stressed, making room inside of you to experience healing energies. Don’t forget that mould and other ugly things can make you sick and affect your mental health as well, so it is very important to keep yourself and your home clean. Water- In some cultures water is considered to be very sacred and purifying, and is utilized by taking cleansing baths and showers, washing the body or objects that are being cleansed, floor washes, and just by sprinkling. Be careful with this one though, because if you do not dry some surfaces they may become mouldy. Some types of crystals and natural materials like bones and wood don’t really like water and may become damaged from it. It is better to cleanse these with salt or smoke. Fire- Again, in some cultures, fire is considered very sacred and holy. You do not need to burn your house down to achieve this. Be careful with this one, because you do not want to become a crispy sausage. But fire can be represented in smoke cleansing, or it can be used to banish things by burning something that represents what it is that you wish to get rid of. I often find that speaking or praying over a flame and asking help from fire to remove something will result in massive energetic changes- especially long term. Please ensure to never leave a fire unattended- this is basic common sense but you’d be surprised how many people don’t follow this!  Air- A cool breeze can work wonders to clear energy! It’s so nice to open your windows and doors and let the cool air flow through the home.  Salt- We all know salt preserves things from bacteria and other nasties, but it also has a very electrical charge almost, it carries a lot of powerful energy. So it is really good for cleansing, especially when entities are around. I like to keep some by my bed to keep entities away from me while sleeping and to prevent bad dreams. Sound- Sound is really powerful, especially because we know that sound carries vibrations and can carry them far. Bells, singing bowls, drums, your voice, clapping, youtube healing frequency videos, chanting, and prayer are all really amazing at cleansing things. Heck, even pots and pans can be bashed together to clear entities. I also sometimes feel like spirits are sleeping, so I usually wake them up with gentle bells. Mists and floor washes- Again, water here, but usually, this is a good option if you can’t burn things. Beware again though, that you don’t leave things wet otherwise they can grow mould and as I said before, some types of crystals and natural materials like bones and wood don’t really like water. Usually, though, these are just water mixed with something such as essential oils, herbs, crystals or salt etc, which have been chosen to imbue the water with a certain element or property. These are then spritzed with a spray bottle around or on whatever you are cleansing. Floor washes can be mopped or thrown over the floor. Oils, alcohols, floral waters, and vinegar- Essential oils such as peppermint, myrrh, frankincense, eucalyptus, and myrtle are really good for cleansing things, especially if you cannot use smoke again. Diffusing essential oils is also a very common practice outside of the spiritual community so this might be a good option if you aren’t able to be so open about your path.  Alcohols such as Florida water are often used in cleansing, but keep in mind that some people consider Florida water to belong to closed cultures. Some people, however, disagree with this. But, you can always make your own floral waters for cleansing or you can buy them from essential oil manufacturers as a byproduct of essential oil production. You do not need to use Florida water if you are concerned about appropriation here. Floral waters are often sold by essential oil wholesalers, as they are usually sold to cosmetic manufacturers for use in moisturizers and balms. You can buy rose water or orange blossom water from Middle Eastern supermarkets, or if you are lucky enough they might be available in your local supermarket as well. Vinegar is really good to cleanse and also for cleaning. You can mix lemon and tea tree essential oil into vinegar, and these together are really good for cleaning and removing unwanted energy around the home. Vinegar is also good for banishments.  Some basic and good ways to cleanse a home: When cleansing a home, pay attention not only to the rooms but especially to the doors, windows and any mirrors. A lot of things are happening energetically in those spaces and they are usually hot spots for activity. Using salt and water: To cleanse a home with these, sprinkle water around the walls, and place a small sprinkle of salt in each corner of every room. You can also place salt along the front of a door, or along a windowsill. Sometimes though, salt can damage paint so don’t leave it on painted surfaces for too long. You can also paint protective symbols over the door and window frames with the water. Using smoke from herbs, resins or incense: To cleanse using these, take the smoke around to each room and move it in an anticlockwise circle three times. Also make sure to waft a lot of smoke around doors, windows and mirrors.  Sound and prayer: You can go around each room with instruments, or you can sing over or speak over your home to cleanse it. If you choose to pray, make sure to state what needs to be removed, and what will happen within that space instead. Eg. “May all anger, hurt, stress, and any other unwanted energies leave this space. May this room be safe, still, and peaceful, and may we experience joy, laughter and happiness in this room.” How do I know if there are entities in the room? If you are practised enough in sensing energies you will know straight away. However, if you are a beginner please keep in mind that your fear of entities alone can mean that you might believe there is an entity in your home even when there isn’t, or your fear might even attract one. Sometimes we can also fall prey to the power of influential words, and a psychic or someone else who senses energies might claim that you have a spirit in your home and then you will start seeing signs for its existence even if nothing is there. Even if the psychic didn’t pick up on a negative entity, but just said the word “spirit”, many people have different interpretations for this word based on religious beliefs, influence from movies and pop culture, etc. You may have misunderstood. In fact, there are a lot of spirits around us all the time, ancestral spirits, household spirits, plant and animal spirits- and not all of them mean harm. But some people interpret the word spirit to instantly mean the worst. Mould can also affect your mental health and if it has made you unwell enough it can make you hallucinate and see entities or experience haunting activity. Check for things like this before worrying and stressing yourself unnecessarily. If you had an entity that meant harm, you would just know. And until you experience the sense of “just knowing” this kind of thing, you probably will not understand what I mean here.  Energy flowering and blessings Once you have cleansed a space and depending on what you used to cleanse, the space or object might feel like a blank canvas. You need to do what is called energy flowering or charging to reconfigure the energy of a space or item. Energy flowering is usually done with floral waters, resins, crystals, or incense sticks. Bundles of herbs are used mostly for cleansing, but depending on the herb they can be used for flowering as well. But in my personal opinion herb bundles are best for cleansing only. Salt or soil can also be used for this- as I said before salt seems to carry a very electrical feeling energy, and soil from the earth can also be used to recharge objects. Resins are really good for raising vibrations and creating healing and beautiful emotional energies.  To recharge with incenses or resins, waft the energy around the home but in clockwise circles and if possible use your dominant hand. You can also hold objects like tarot cards or crystals in the smoke or you can waft the smoke towards yourself or someone else. Cinnamon, sandal, frankincense, myrrh, and dragons blood are really good for this purpose.  To recharge with floral waters, you can wash objects in them, or you can sprinkle them around the walls, doors, and windows. Altar spaces and deity images usually really like this type of cleansing. To recharge objects with soil, bury them until they feel ready. Make sure to leave yourself a marker on the ground so you know where they are buried. If you live in an apartment, you can definitely bury things in a pot of soil. If you cannot get soil you can also leave objects on a bed of salt for as long as needed. To recharge using crystals, place the crystal you want to use over the object or within the space and leave it for as long as needed. Clear quartz is a good energy conductor and will bring intense universal energies down. Copper is also really good for conducting energy, so if you have any copper items they can help recharge an item or space as well. Blessings A blessing ritual is a really lovely way to give a room, a person, or an object your goodwill, and also to call down the highest good upon something. You can make a charm to bless someone, you can pray or speak over someone or something, or you can also anoint objects, places, or people with sacred oils. This is also where some fun stuff like glitter, colourful threads, beads and other cool stuff can work its way into your magic. A basic blessing ritual for a person White, pink, and green candles Rose water Salt Rice Anointing oil Honeysuckle incense A bowl of water, soap and a towel.

Create a small mixture of salt, rice, and your anointing oil. Keep some of these ingredients separate and to the side. Wash the hands of the person you are blessing with the rose water, and rub the salt, rice, and oil mixture into their hands gently. They can rest their hands for a bit until the ritual is done. Sprinkle their head with the rose water, and offer rice and salt to them in the direction of their mouth (they don’t have to eat it so don’t shove it in their mouth lol) and also to the each side of their temples and the top of their head (you just need to hold it in your hand and point it in the directions listed above). Waft the incense around them three times clockwise, and offer the candles to them by moving them in a clockwise circle three times as well around the person. As you are doing this you can say out loud or in your heart “May you be well, may you be protected, and may you be free from suffering.” Think of everything good that you wish for this person as you are doing this ritual.  Anoint their forehead at the hairline with the oil. You can then offer them the soap, water and towel for them to clean their hands once all this is done. The ritual is complete! Making charms for blessing and protection You can make charm bags and fill them with all sorts of fun stuff like colourful glitters, sequins, crytals, herbs, meaningful items, images of deities, or handwritten prayers or sigils. Colourful glitters are cool because glitter is fabulous, and all the colours have meanings associated with them so you can pick the colours based on what you want to achieve. You can also make yourself some jewellery, and if you want to you could use religious icons or images in your jewellery, or choose colourful beads that represent certain ideas, archetypes, or deities.  Other charms can also be candles or herbs for example. You could hang dried herbs around the home, or you can anoint a candle with an oil of choice and it will act as a charm. You can also anoint jewellery with oils. Making a charm from jewellery Select a piece of jewellery. It is better if it is made of something like gold or silver, as fashion jewellery can become damaged from oils of whatever you might use. Beadwork should be fine. You can make this into a ritual if you like, or you can keep it simple. Personally, I like to keep things simple when it comes to making charms, but each to their own. You can remix this however you like to suit your needs.  Before you start, I believe it is respectful to ask the object if it wants to become a charm. Even inanimate objects contain the spirit of the universe or contain a consciousness. You cannot force it to serve you, so please ask respectfully if it is happy to help you. You will sense the answer with your intuition, or you might experience other phenomena such as synchronicities, seeing or sensing colours or energy, or hearing something. Just listen patiently. If it says yes, wash the object in water to purify it and leave it on a bed of salt for a hot minute. Light some candles with the colour that corresponds to your intention, and burns some incense. Anoint the charm in a blessing oil, and ask it to carry this intent for you. You can pray over it or speak over it what you intend for this charm. Give the offerings of candles and incense to the charm and thank it for helping you. It is respectful to bow before the object while giving it thanks.

It is now ready to wear, but you might want to clean it off. I can’t imagine jewellery with caked-on salt looks too nice. Creating protective charms for the home Religious iconography near doorways is a really good option if you are able to openly display these. Some cultures make protective charms from certain objects like horseshoes, chilli peppers, bells, lemons, sigils, or similar items from temples and shrines. In each case, it is again respectful to ask the object if it wants to help you.  You can do a similar ritual to the above, or you can make your own charms for the house. Basil charm to call down holy fire Basil is a herb I use in spiritual healing because I find it often has a very fiery energy that can really intensely open up and allow universal energy to flow. It is very simple to make, all you need to do is dry a bunch of basil. Ask if it is happy to serve as a charm for the home. If it says yes you can hang it in the home up high above the head, and preferably in the main room such as a lounge room so that everyone can be influenced.

Bay leaf doorway charm Sew some dried bay leaves together in a chain, big enough to fit the measurements of the door frame you wish to place it over. Once the length of the chain is big enough for the door, ask the object if it wants to serve you. If the answer is yes, hang it above your door frame. This will protect evil spirits from entering the home and will bring luck and abundance to those inside.  Jar of holy salts for the bedside Combine sea salt in a jar with oils such as peppermint, frankincense, orange and lavender. You can mix in some of the same dried herbs if you like as well. Ask the object if it wishes to serve you, and if yes place it by the bed. This is a protective charm that will ensure a peaceful sleep without being bothered by bad dreams, negative entities, or anything else that you want to keep away. I had a friend who had a terrifying experience of having his name yelled at him by some sort of spirit just as he sat down to sleep. This charm has helped him feel calm and protected and he has not experienced the issue since.

Maintaining charms Charms do not want to be forgotten. They can often become spiritually blank or deadened and will be unable to continue their purpose if they are not cared for. They need love, they are a consciousness that wishes for its own happiness. One of the best ways to keep charms happy I find is to talk to them and build a relationship with them. In the morning when I do my regular incense burning and candle lighting I also give them offerings as well, by going around the house and waving the incense and candles towards them. I might also re-anoint them when needed. I find that if the object is respected as being holy and as being part of the family it will continue to happily serve the home. Don’t forget this step to give your charms love and treat them as if they are alive with consciousness!  ♥ Building a relationship with the spirits of the home and land for protection Just as charms contain a consciousness, so do all inanimate and animate objects in the home and on the land which your home resides. It is good to honour these spirits and energies with offerings, and they can, in turn, be called upon to protect the home. I always leave incense burning in a safe place outside as an offering to the spirits of the land and home, and as I do so I ask for their protection upon the home. Over time, you will be able to sense their energies more and they will begin to surround you and protect you. You do not need to do much here except allow time and routine to do the work for you. 

[cedricslover]

Troubled (final)

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x Fem! Reader

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 

Series summary: A very unfortunate situation happened and it resulted in very unfortunate events. You had everything, a good boyfriend that everyone dreamed of, best friends that you got in a twin pack, and a loving school. It was a calm before a storm and in your sixth year the storm came. You faced the consequences your deceased parents run from, you were only left with your only family, your little brother. What would you do in order to save him? The answer is, everything, even if it means joining a terrorist group of wizards, joining THE DEATH EATERS…

Chapter Summary: Death is inevitable 

Note: there is no specific house:))) I would like to thank everyone that kept waiting and was patient enough, I started this series around March and now it is May. This is my very first series and I hope you all liked it! Again thank you so much❤❤

Warnings: angst, death, little bit of violence

Word Count: 4.2k

You stopped in front of a headstone. Your hair brushing your cheeks as the wind blew it. "Hey" you started talking, through the years the big lump in your throat slowly fades whenever you visit. "It must be nice there" you smiled and placed the flowers that you were holding down to the ground. 

You breathed in the familiar smell of the field. The smell of the countryside was really different from London. Closing your eyes, memories of the past came flooding in. 

[5 years ago]

"WHAT?" Phoebe, one of your roommates looked at you with shock, "what?" You chuckled as you ate a chocolate frog. 

"What do you mean "what"? So we're just going to act like we didn't see Diggory in front of our dorm earlier" Alice rolls her eyes as she brushes her blond hair, "Oh yeah we got back together" you shrugged and sat on your bed. 

"You really won't tell us what happened that broke the two of you?" Phoebe's voice became wary, she was trying not to say something bad. You shake your head and smile apologetically. "I'm sorry girls" you felt bad. You wanted to tell them of course, but even your best friends since first year don't even know. And surprisingly didn't even nag you about it. 

"It's alright doll, we understand. Besides, Diggory is a great guy, you two are both smart enough to know what is right and wrong" Alice looks at you, there is always comfort in her eyes. Like she always knows what is going on even if you don't talk. She was the perfect example of the person that you can vent to and she will just listen. 

"How about you girls, anything going on with your lives? Why is it always mine?" You laid down and stared at the ceiling. Silence filled the room. For about 10 minutes only the brushing of the tip of the quill to a parchment, breathing, and the noise from the common room are the only sounds you heard.

"Nothing much" you heard a bed squeaked, it was probably Phoebe's. "My life is the most boring one yet" Alice mutters and sighed,  you can see her sitting on her bed. "I don't think so. Each of our lives have different stories. I don't think that's boring" you replied before you pulled your blanket and be completely eaten up by darkness. 

Weeks have passed, it seemed to be doing great. Everything was falling back to pieces. After the school found out that you and Cedric got back together, George and the Beauxbaton girl also publicized their relationship, both of them explained that it really wasn't you in the photograph-which you completely didn't want them to do because you didn't owe anyone any explanation- but they still did. 

Fred and Angelina seemed to be also doing great, well, especially how Fred is under Angelina. 

Of course Barty Jr.-that's disguising as Professor Moody was always giving you 'the look'. Everytime and everywhere, even at class, even your classmates find it strange why Professor Moody always calls you, and then gets mad. They feel bad but you just let it all go, because you knew what his true colors are. 

"Fred" she warns

"Frederick Gideon" with her scary tone

"Frederick Gideon Weasley" that's when you all know Fred was in trouble. 

"Hello darling" you smiled and kissed Cedric's lips before you sat beside him at the library. You both have free time, especially him, tomorrow was the final task, he was trying to study spells that he might use.   

"Hey" he stops reading and wraps his arms around your waist, "Tired" he murmurs while he buries his head on your neck. "You want to eat sumthin'?" You asked while playing with his fluffy hair, running your fingers through his scalp. "No" you can feel his breathing on your neck, it sends shivers down your spine. 

After a while of complete silence, Cedric's breathing seemed to follow a pattern, that's when you knew he was asleep, in your arms. 

You started humming a song that your mum used to sing you to sleep. You can't see his face, but felt it instead, his nose, his lips, his forehead, it felt peace. It felt like home. 

And later on, you also found yourself getting sleepy, your eyelids drooping down. And before you give up on the warmth, your eyes found the book-or more like a magazine that Cedric was reading earlier, you didn't notice it earlier until now. You let out a smile before you closed your eyes.

'Real Estate Magazine, Countryside Edition'

You woke up early, dressed up early, showered early, and went to get breakfast early, and you didn't expect that a lot of students were up early too. Earlier than usual.

"Y/N!" You turned your head while you chewed a toast. It was the trio. "Hey" you greeted them as they sat in front of you. "You alright?" You looked at them while your forehead creased, "yeah" they all answered in unison, that caught them off guard. 

"Harry's going to be fine don't worry" you shake your head and smile as you reach for another toast. "It's just that-" Harry stopped and his hand went to his forehead, where the scar is. 

"His scar's been hurting ever since he woke up" Ron told you, his face was screaming with worry, just the same as Hermione. 

"You should take a rest Harry. You still have til before dusk. I think that would be enough time to prepare and rest" you said, trying to cover the worry in your voice, and of course the fear. 

You four continued to eat, the Great Hall was starting to get more crowded, noise, banners, cheers, they were all anticipating who will win the triwizard tournament. Although you should be joining this crowd, wearing shirts with the one they support, cheering, waving the banners at 8 am. You can't. You were filled with worry, Harry's scar was hurting, and it seemed strange that the Dark Lord wasn't doing anything the whole year. 

And as you walked by Moody's office, it seemed like your suspicions were answered. 

"I already handled it, Dark Lord. Yes, yes, but how about the girl?" You heard Moody, he was rather loud, obviously he used the opportunity as most of the students would be either outside or the Great Hall.

"She wouldn't be a nuisance, we have his brother. She will be extremely useful for the next few years. She has much more potential than her parents. Let her bloom Barty" a faint voice answered him, that was the reason Harry's scar was hurting since this morning. Mere communication can still cause it, you knew he couldn't possibly be physically here. 

"What if Harry wouldn't be the one touching the cup?" Moody's voice was filled with excitement but at the same time, fear. 

"I'll kill them. And you next. Better do your job Barty." The voice disappeared. Your eyes widened as you heard footsteps slowly approaching the door. You ran to the closest hiding spot and peeked. 

"Better handle that girl then" Moody looked around before he drank again from his flask. "Polyjuice Potion" you whispered as you observed him. 

He walked away, to the direction you came from, you waited until you made sure he was gone. 

"Mad-Eye Moody!" You started banging the trunk where Moody was prisoned, your hands shaking as you got the key from one of the drawers. 

"Moody!" You banged again, panting, your sweat started dripping. Your heart was beating fast, you have to do something. You sure don't know anything, but Moody surely does. 

You finally opened the last layer of it and saw that he was there, peering back at you, he was thinner than the last time you saw him. And he lost a lot of hair too. 

He seemed mad, of course, you were the only person inside the castle that knew the Professor Moody that was going around the school the whole year was an imposter, well aside from Cedric who was suspicious.

You started explaining to him, now this was the person that deserved your explanation, not the gossip people. 

It took a while before he finally understood. He must be thirsty and hungry, but you didn't bring any food but only your wand. You looked for any container and luckily you saw a flask, it must have been a spare Polyjuice Potion, you threw the insides away.

"Aguamenti" you chanted and the flask started to be filled with clean water. You cleaned the mess you made and returned it from what it was when you entered before you slowly dropped the flask to Moody who was now drinking it like he hadn't drank any water for a whole week.

"I cannot hear clearly, but I heard Little Hangleton. You know that right?" You nodded at his question. "I don't know what and how, but they would try to bring the Dark Lord back. In power" he looks directly at your eyes, his gaze was piercing, he was expecting you to do something. And you will. 

"I'll be back" the last words you said to him before you slowly closed the trunk, he nods slightly for a response, there was also something in his look, the same look you saw with your parents when they were about to die, the same look you saw with the people of the Order, it was a look of hope and pride. 

"Hey hey" you stopped on your tracks and it snapped you back into reality, you didn't know what to do, "Y/N?" Cedric cupped your face, you looked at his eyes, his questioning eyes. "What's wrong, love?" He tucked strands of hair from your face to behind your ear. Your breathing started to calm down. 

"They're moving Ced, I have to do something" you admitted, there was no point in keeping it a secret to him. His jaw dropped, he was now looking everywhere, trying to be cautious. 

"What can I do to help?" He asks, you felt bad, and it seemed like he noticed it. "Don't feel bad, Y/N. You already carried too much burden, at least let me help you carry it" his mouth curves as he assures you. "It will all be okay" he whispers, still not letting go of your face.

You were still doubting, but he was persistent. "Protect Harry. Help me protect Harry, Ced" your eyes darted to him, both of you knew this was a life and death situation. This wasn't just those silly games you played before, you both only had one chance to save a life, and this was it. 

"I will" he nods, there was more than just the tournament in his mind now. And that is to protect Harry. At all costs.

You observed Harry the whole time before the task, ofcourse, not being so obvious. You would join the three of them at some point, or drag Harry with you and the twins as they show the fireworks that they made and plan to light up when he wins or Cedric. 

It was a win-win, Harry forgets that bloody scar while you keep an eye on him. 

And now, it was Cedric's turn. 

He kissed your forehead and gave you a little smile. "You did well. Let me take over" he said before he turned his back and let go of your hand. Amos waited for him and waved in your direction. The corners of your mouth turned up, trying to be nice to him, despite how you somehow despised because of how he always pressures his son, he always has to do this, reach this, be like this. It was not healthy. 

You knew he was trying to be a good parent, but you wished he had taken lessons from your father before he died. Thankfully Mrs. Diggory was nice enough to appreciate Cedric's achievements, small or big. 

"You alright?" Alice asked you as you sat at the bleachers. "Quite" you smiled at her and returned your gaze to the champions. You were with Alice now, well long story short, the twins were with their girlfriends, even Phoebe, and Alice invited you to join her so here you are now. You know Alice is beautiful, she is also great in academics, even she and Luna Lovegood could really pass as siblings, they have the same interest in things that were believed to be not there, and even their way of clothing were the same. But they both confirmed that they were not related. Still, you were still quite confused as to why she was not out there, having a partner. 

"You know that guy?" She pointed to Gregory Goyle's older brother. "Yeah?" There were lines forming between your eyebrows. "He asked me out" she giggled and covered her mouth with her hand, her shoulders started shaking, you also laughed. "What really?" You asked in disbelief, you tried your best not to laugh out loud.

You hated Goyle, he always bullies the ones that he believed was weaker, even Alice. He always made fun of Alice and how she always tries to get people's attention. Now look how the tables have turned.

"He asked me out with those cheesy pick up lines, doll. I tried my best not to laugh and just rejected him immediately" you were both still laughing. She stated some of the pick up lines that made you laugh so much but you still tried not to be loud so in the end, you choked on your own saliva while she stifled a laugh as she pats your back.

The laughter seemed to be a curse, bad luck, or just joy before a disaster. Because right after that you all saw a yellow light sparked to the sky, it was from someone in the maze. 

You were the only one who was not confused, because as that yellow spark flashed, it was a message for you.

'He is safe. Cedric's with him' 

Red sparks were seen earlier, it must have been a marker for the injured ones, but the Yellow ones, the audience and judges didn't know what it meant, only you.

You started praying to the higher ups, if they were ever there, listening to you. You prayed that they would be fine. Only a few scratches, but still good. After just a few minutes another yellow spark was seen, the people decided to shrug it off, but you, you were beyond happy and relieved. The second spark should mean that they got to the cup. They should be arriving any second now. 

You anxiously waited for them, ten seconds, twenty, thirty, and then a minute and they weren't still here. 

'Little Hangleton' 'Back in power' ‘Dark Lord’ 'Coming Back' 'Do your job' 'Kill' 

Voices started to cloud in your mind, Moody, Barty Jr., Voldemort, memories, you patched up the information you got. 

And without even thinking twice you disapparated, thankful that Dumbledore lifted the anti-disapparition charm because there were a lot of outsiders anticipating the third task.

You grunted as you stumbled, you hated how apparition makes your insides like they were being squeezed. It was convenient of course, but you didn't like it. 

"Kill the spare"  you heard, your vision was still dizzy, but you knew that voice. Your vision was blurry, the world was spinning and it felt like your intestines were spinning too. It was the after effect of apparating. 

You stood up, still feeling nauseous, “NOOO!” you shouted as you ran, there were figures and you knew who they were. “Avada Kedavra!” it was definitely Pettigrew, no, not Cedric, not me, not Harry, don’t kill us, please, the words repeated in your mind. The few steps felt like a hundred, you wanted to stop time, and as you rushed towards the figures your vision was slowly being clear. And by the time you can entirely see clearly, you wished, you hoped, that someone blinded you, you wished that this was a dream, hallucination, but as you collapsed on your knees, as the rough ground kissed your legs, it was all real.

“Alice...” tears started to fall from your face as you looked at her face. Her reddish cheeks was now white, her lively eyes was now soulless, her warmth, 

It’s gone, she’s gone. 

“YOU!” You stood up, picking up your wand, Cedric stood beside you, “Free Harry” You commanded him, your nose was now flaring, glaring at the two figures in front of you, Peter Pettigrew carrying the weak Voldemort. 

“Expulso!” you incant, in a snap, Voldemort was now dropped to the ground while Pettigrew was far away, “I’ve had enough of you. You and your values” you stared at Voldemort who was now crawling away, he was so weak, and this was the only time you could do it. The only time you could take revenge from all the lives he took.

“You’re so weak, and you should stay weak” You stepped on his thin legs, he screeched like a creature tortured, “You deserve, every, single, pain” now you stomped on his hand, you felt the bone touch the sole of your feet despite wearing shoes. 

“Sectumsempra!” you cried at his pleading face, you thanked that potions book you saw in the classroom. You watched as so blood just came out from the child like figure in front of you, for a second you thought you were doing something beyond your morals, but you remembered, the images of people that this person-no- monster killed, the mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, and friends, he took away so many lives, he made the world like his playground, killing whoever he felt to kill, and that justified what you did. Regret was not even near. 

“Incarcerous” Cedric’s voice echoed, the tense was back again, Pettigrew was still here, “We’ll take care of him” he told you, giving a second to glance at the lifeless Voldemort that was on the ground, curled, you nodded as an approval. 

And like a vase dropped, or someone threw a big stone to your head, you remember Alice's bleeding body, her opened eyes but why? Why is there a ghost of a smile plastered on that doll-like face?

You slowly walked to her lying body, you never expected that this would happen, that she, she would do something like this. Did she just suddenly hold your arm as you disapparated? Is that why she splinched, her arms, even her legs were bleeding. 

“Dumbass, did you even know where I was going.” you kneeled, reached for her face and removed the strands of hair that were blocking her face. “You’re so dumb. Who’s going to call me doll anymore” you blinked and a tear fell straight to her cheek, you blinked again, another tear fell, you blinked, again and again, and at the same time, tears fell on her pale face, you cried, wailed, even shouted while hugging her body. 

She was there when you needed her, she was there to understand you. She was there when you cried, laughed, even if you were sick, she was there. 

“Doll, come here.” Alice called you while you were packing your things, you were a mess, you just heard that your mother was ill, you have to go home. You sighed and let go of the clothes and walked towards her, she tapped the seat in front of the mirror. 

“You know, you should always look tough in front of the people you have to protect. That’s what my parents told me before. The people that saved them from the Death Eaters, they were tough, I told you about that right?” she started brushing your hair, you examined your reflection, your eyebags were visible, you were also definitely thinner than usual, you felt drained. 

“Before my ma died, she told me information about those who saved them. My ma and pa owe their life to them.” even if you didn’t look at her face, you know she was smiling. “She told me that when they were being saved, the woman was pregnant” you can feel the gentleness from her touch. 

“And?” you asked, she was now tying your hair, “and she told me to protect that child, a token of gratitude for giving my ma and pa another tomorrow” she placed the flower accessories in your hair. 

“Did you protect the child?” you turned to her and saw her eyes twinkled, “I still am doll” she replied to you before she handed your bag. Alice used magic to help you pack, you laughed and hugged her, “Thank you” your mouth curved into a smile. “Aww it’s nothing” she waves her hand and rolls her eyes, acting shy. “Shut up” you chuckle before you turn your back and step outside. 

“You impulsive lady, how about that child you should protect. How can you protect them if you’re dead” You were still crying, thinking about all the memories you had with her, and how you would tell Phoebe, she would be heartbroken. 

Was it really necessary? Are sacrifices really necessary? You just wanted to stop a war, a cycle, you wanted to follow the path your parents took, are deaths really necessary? In exchange for peace, a life should be taken. A meaningful life, someone's daughter, friend, and stranger. 

[present]

“Y/N!” a woman’s voice called you, you turned your head and saw a woman, her hair was now just above her shoulder, brown curls jumping as she walked the hill. “Phoebe” you greeted and opened your arms, she sprinted and hugged you. 

“Oop, be careful with the tummy” you grinned and touched your tummy, there was already a big bump, you were pregnant. “Hello there little one” she lowered herself and talked to your bump. 

“It’s her death anniversary isn’t it” she straightened herself and was now staring at the headstone. 

     Alice Constance O’Brien

March 12, 1978 - June 24, 1995

“Hmm” you answered, peace and silence enveloped the both of you. “It was Alice all along.” sadness took over your face as you remembered what Alice has done for you. 

  Loving daughter and friend

                A hero 

“Ced that night when you saw me following the man. Why were you still roaming?” you asked Cedric as he sat at the library.

“I haven’t told you yet? It was the Head Boy, well technically it was Alice actually, she told me that the head boy couldn’t find me so he asked her to tell me. My schedule changed that time” he muttered as he chewed a pumpkin pasty. Your eyebrows shot up and just shrugged. You owe Alice an acid pop at Hogsmeade.

“She was the one who told me about your situation. She must have known about the dark mark but never told us. She wanted to help you, but in the shadows.” Remus admitted as you talked to him about Alice’s death. He was shocked, the whole society members actually. They are now taking care of his subjects that were lurking around. 

“Hello ladies!” George and Fred suddenly appeared, both of them wrapped their arms around each of your shoulders. “Fred. I prefer women, thank you” Phoebe removed Fred’s arm and even tried to dust it off, “Rude” Fred squinted his eyes at her while she just smirked and flipped her hair.

“Where’s your husband and brother?” George asked and also placed flowers at the ground. Now there were a lot of flowers for Alice. “You’re liking that aren’t you?” you talked to the headstone, you were all just silent. Even the loud twins fell in silence, they liked Alice, not romantically, they admired her, how she was unique, always had a voice, and how she stood up for herself. 

“I love it doll” you heard a whisper as the breeze came by, you knew it was her, it had always been her. She was still there, watching. 

“Oh Alice” Phoebe started crying, the twins tried to offer her a hug but she went to you instead, you sniggered as you saw their offended face. 

They all felt her. 

“Hey!” two voices called all of your attention and there it was, Cedric your husband, and your eight year old brother. Theodore hurried to the twins that immediately picked him up, he liked them. “We bought snacks.” Cedric raised a basket and spreaded out a cloth to the grass. 

“Are you crying?” Cedric inspected Phoebe who still has her nose red from crying. “Yes. What about it” she rolled her eyes and got bread from the basket while Cedric was still arranging the cloth. “I’m just asking.” Cedric chuckled and shook his head. 

You observed each and one of them, they all changed, with their own careers and life, of course they will change. Cedric was now working at the ministry, he did once think about being a professional quidditch player, but he felt like a work at the ministry would be better, and he liked it. The twins and their joke shop was still going, stronger as it was before, they’ve built quite the reputation, and Phoebe, she was now a Herbologist, she always had an interest in plants. 

And you, you also built your career, with your dream job. 

Are you seeing this Alice? I made it. We made it. 

You carefully sat at the cloth and they all asked you what you would name the child inside of you. Your eyes gleamed, you always knew that if you had a chance to name your child it would be…

“Alice”