#I can't tell my psychologist about this nonsense

[jlbilu]

We will always have the fan fiction

I know I'm mostly alone in this... boat, but I will hold out hope until the end that the forced Sullivan/Devine pairing will disappear.

If it persists, I will go down with the boat.

And it will have been a pleasure to share this vessel with you, comrades.

[sunnyaalisse]

Wanna know how to manage anxiety effectively? (I'm a psychologist) Formulate your anxious thoughts in a form of "What Will I Do if X happens?" and then answer as best as you can. You will find that there are 4 main types of situations your anxiety might be asking about: 1) nonsensical, unlikely, useless (WWID if I get kidnapped by a UFO?) 2) rational, predictable (WWID if I get a bad grade?) 3) rational, unpredictable (WWID if I go to a new job and something bad happens?) 4) unpredictable and uncontrolled (WWID if I get attacked on my way home?) Here's how to deal with each type: 1) unlikely, useless, nonsensical? answer it like the person who's asking you this question is a 13 year old child who's trying to annoy you. "that would suck, Timmy, but it sure would make a cool story that I would tell to anybody who would listen if I survived" 2) rational, predictable? make a date with this question. find time to sit down and legitimately think of a plan on what you're going to do. "I'll go talk to the teacher, ask what I can do to improve my grade, then I'll talk to my friends and ask them to explain the topic to me, then I'll talk to my parents and explain the situation if they're interested in hearing about it" 3) rational, unpredictable? you don't have to answer it in a detailed way, just decide on the first few things you will realistically do in any sort of distressful situation. "I'll call my friend and tell them about my situation, then I'll buy myself some ice-cream and figure out my next steps with the help of relevant people, google and determination." 4) uncontrolled? plan for what happens after the part you can't control, once you're in charge again. "I'll call the police, I know where the nearest hospital is, I have my friend's numbers memorised so I'll call them, either way I'll deal with whatever happens once I'm in control" anxiety related to the events that already happened (I said "you too" to the waiter who said "have a good meal") truly means to ask about either the consequences (what if now they think I'm dumb?) or the repeating of the situation (what if I do it again?). you can still reformulate these questions the same way: "WWID if they treat me like I'm stupid next time I'm there?" and "WWID if I say the same thing again, how can I make it charming?" or "WWID to avoid repeating the same situation again, what can I say instead?" anxiety is a mechanism that means to fill the gaps in a person's perception of their future, it seeks clarity, stability, normalcy and control. It doesn't need to clarify IF the situation will happen, it needs to clarify how the situation will be DEALT WITH if it does happen. unanswered "what will I do if..." questions tend to become a broken record because the need for clarity is not fulfilled. more often than not if the needs for clarity and normalcy are fulfilled, anxiety lets up. even questions like "WWID if I die?" can be answered: "if there's an afterlife I'll try to punch god" or "I'll ask if they have soda here" or "if there's no afterlife I'll do nothing, but the world will go on without me, complex, busy and beautiful" also, since anxiety can be caused by physical factors like exhaustion and overuse of caffeine, dealing with these factors could be very helpful. this type of anxiety doesn't come from the mind, it comes from the body, so grilling yourself with questions won't help in this case. rest, nourishment and sleep will do a lot of good though.

[shibalatte]

whatevr ill post my stupid baby bill poem nonsense on this app

i hold my son close to me. we just went to our first eye doctors appointment. his big round eye is closed as he sleeps. he clings to me as he naps in my arms. i look at the medication they gave me. the bottle doesnt even seem to have proper dosage. i sigh. ever since my son has started his diagnosis journey, i've worried for him. all the doctors flock around him when he starts looking up nobody has ever seen what he calls up, it perplexes the specialists, the teachers at school, his peers. and yet, i feel like there has to be someone who has there has to be more like him, correct? today's my baby billy's first day of second grade hes grown so big from when he was in his baseball sneakers. i measure him from angle to angle, hes grown somewhat taller. he beams. i walk him to school, he tells me about the stars once again. how they glitter and glow. i tell him that even if i can't see what hes talking about, i see him, and always will. he smiles with his eye i tell him he'll have his silly straws clean when he gets home billy has started telling me he can't see. i check his medication. they've upped his dose from 2 sips to 3. i yelled at the doctor for not even giving me a proper dose for him. they told me not to worry, that they know best. i dont believe them. i have stopped giving bill his "eye medication" it turns out that it wasnt helping him at all, the doctor who gave it to us was outed as a fraud he looks at me with that round eye and wonders why ive stopped i tell him he'll be safe this is billy and i's first appointment at a psychologist. billy looks at me with worry in his big round eye. he's never had to have an appointment where he has to talk about himself. i tell him he'll be safe and that i'll hold his hand through the whole thing. they were perplexed to say the least, but they were helpful they told us to come back for an assessment they said they might have the answer the psychologists have a diagnosis its a thing they dont know a lot about, hes the first one to be officially diagnosed the doctors want to name it after him but i insist they don't. i don't need my boy to be the center of his condition he looks at me in the car with fear. i tell him that everyone is still learning, even doctors. he smiles with his eye again . i make him a sandwich with the crust cut off when we come back, he beams years later, the diagnosis has been named silly straw syndrome its considered a neurological conditon that effects the way someone sees the world. people are still scared of my son when he looks up at the stars but we're getting somewhere, the world of shapes is making progress. bill brought home a friend im overjoyed, hes never had a friend over and for once, i see a kid other than my own look up at the stars with him! and i finally see that my son is understood! i tear up, my beautiful boy is finally understood by his peers. i dont have to worry. im at peace. my son will be ok in the world, there IS people like him! i cry, i sob. my son is finally finding a place. hes finally ok.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Personally, I don't think Harry has gone for the spouse visa/green card route yet. Simply because his entitlement, and Meghan's entitlement, about his royal status would not allow them to show Harry as being dependent on Meghan in any way

They would both, much rather prefer to lord it over people, family, governments (both UK and US) that he is royal, the kings son (late queens grandson) and hence very very imp in his own right.

Also, the paperwork and forethought required to submit a greencard application means that both harry and meghan would need to do a lot of work - fill out applications, gather documents, aquire and submit bank data, proof of dates, proof of financials, taxation etc - all of which they are both incapable of doing. Not to mention that their narcissistic discordered tendencies would make them think this is below them.

(I know we can't actually diagnose them, but this is Tumblr, not CNN, and as a psychologist I know that filling out paperwork is the absolutebane of an NPD persons existence. These little quirks of the NPD are not talked about much but they are nearly universally observed.)

Another issue would be hiring an immigration lawyer for the spouse visa. The expenses and the process of actively listening to what the lawyers says is required procedure would put HnM on the backfoot and hate the process.

I have assumed that Harry is either on -

1). A1 Visa - diplomatic/head of state/official representative of a country

Or

2). O1 Visa - specialized skilled worker/Einstein visa given to artists, actors, models, investors in specialized fields, highly skilled academicians, persons contracted by a sponcer for a special skill etc

Now, there is some evidence to support both these. So I'll list those reasons and my conclusions from those below.

Option 1.- A1 visa

Harry moved to US in March 2020, just before pandemic. Most people focus on this, but forget that when the couple moved they both were still, officially, Full Time working royals for the BRF and embarking on the 1 year trial period to see how things pan out for them. This trial period lasted till March 2021, upon the conclusion of which the BRF promptly officially announced there demotions. So, they were working royals when they moved to US, albeit on a leave of absence.

So, what does that mean? That his (and her) diplomatic status was still intact. They did their last royal engagement for the UK in mar 2020, but they hadn't retired. Hadn't resigned. His royal patronages, commonwealth role etc were only taken back in 2021. Both parties had agreed to a separation period till then.

Another factor is that they had already asked Canada to provide him (them) with full time security, ie., treat him like a full fledged royal. But Canada said only till March 2020, and not after that. Trudeau actually released a statement about this.

So this tells me that they (may have). actually asked for full time royal treatment ie., security and diplomatic status for the trial period lasting upto March 2021 and were told no.

(I think that's what Harry means when he says the BRF took away his security, I thiy he means that the BRF pricipals personally prevailed upon Trudeau and made him refuse security)

So Harry's only option was to take his fancy diplomatic status passport, hope on a private jet and fly to LA without telling anyone.

People think this was because the lockdowns were imminent. But I think it was also timed in a way that they were out of Canada before the promised security period expired.

After this, during pandemic, Harry consistently did nonsensical "commonwealth" related zoom calls. Till the president/head/chairperson of the CW youth org (I forgot who exactly but one of main people of the org) publicly distanced themselves in late 2020.

Another thing that was odd was that Trump official said he will not be giving the couple security. Which means that his govt was asked, maybe repeatedly asked and Harry made his case, till the time Trump had to release a statement saying he won't. Makes me think, Harry made his case using his A1 status. Because otherwise, if he was there as a private citizen, this request was absurd and the govt would dismissed this without a second thought. But if they had permitted someone to enter based on their A1 status as representative of a head of state, they had weigh the pros and cons of this request and it could have caused a potential diplomatic incidence. So the president himself had to be face of this decision.

(this is irrespective of anyones thoughts about who the president was, or what kind of person the president may or may not have been. This was an executive decision)

So,

All this leads me to speculate that Harry initially, and until end of 2021 at least, made use of his status as a representative of the head of status, which he already officially had, and was on paper, to enter the US.

The duration of permit of this initial stay could have been 2 or 3 years. So, 2022. Or 2023, when curiosly, Heritage Foundation suddenly took interest in the status of his visa.

Option 2 - O-Visa

This is a bit funny and farfetched, but I think Harry could also have entered on his British passport, which allows a stay upto 6 months (tourist visa). And then applied for O- Visa status a couple of months later.

By June 2020 Harry had forged some sort of investment+partnership with Betterup. This likely involved an initial investment into the company. For enterpreneurs and/investors into a US based company, a minimum investment of 250k or 500k is required to be shown. If he did this, then Betterup could have easily sponcered his application and he could used his very imp, very skilled, very unique position as CHIMPO as a means to get a visa.

A lawyer and the company could have helped him. Plus his high profile status due to his work as a philanthropists, patron of various international organisations etc would definitely be an asset as it is proof and documentation of his years of work.

We may laugh and debate about the "quality" of his work all his life but when it comes to govt paperwork, this is still documented proof. And it's verifiable. So, noone is going to get into the nitty gritty of it, and getting a stamp is easy for him.

Another avenue could have been that he was immediately listed as a high in demand, much sought after international speaker or much renown. He did a couple of onscure, forgettable speaker gigs. But that's all he would need for proof.

He was also listed as the executive producer for oprahs documentary, he was earning his producer certification and the Apple documentary was under production.based on that, he could have applied for an O-visa and it would have been approved.

The duration of stay for O-visa status is 3 years at a time, after which you have to apply again for the visa. It is not eligible for renewal. All paperwork and applications have to be submitted again and will be scrutinized as new.

Let's assume he applied 2/3 months after initial entry, so that's June. His application would have been approved by July end Aug latest. (this is based on my personal experience with the same visa, in this the same time period).

With COVID restrictions, he gets approved but doesn't have to immediately go back to his home country to get it stamped at immigration. I got mine stamped end of 2021 from my country. Till then I stayed in US and worked. So he could have stamped his in April 2021 when he went back for his grandfather's funeral.

If he got his O-visa in 2020, then it would expire in 2023. This is the time heritage foundation started creating a fuss about his visa.

Now, with all of that, an important question we need to ask is- why did the heritage foundation start their crusade in 2023?

This could be because Harry's first visa stay (likely) expired in 2023 and he reapplied for a visa. And was (most likely) approved for the same type of visa again. This process would have gone quite smoothly with Harry's pull. But this second time it is quite clear that he got special treatment. And the heritage foundation wants to expose this special treatment.

Orr more likely, someone in the know tipped them off, and wants this exposed for whatever reason. I DO NOT think the BRf want this exposed, I don't think they care.

I do think someone in the US govt or maybe even a journalist wants to make a big deal out of this. And rightly so.

Anyway, that's my dissertation on Harry's visa. I don't think it matters to anyone outside of Tumblr, but I do feel his entitlement is mind-boggling and he should be held accountable for the person that he is. And if this visa issue is what does it, then so be it.

It is based on my personal experience with these 2 types of visas. And my theoretical and observed knowledge about how entitlement is one of the driving forces for most classical NODs. But the reality for him may be different. And you Rumour, being a fed, would probably know more and know better.

*********

I agree with you. I’ve been reading up about the visa issues (and also spoke to a few other fed friends).

I think Harry is here on an O-1 visa, for extraordinary/outstanding talent. Meghan doesn’t seem invested enough into the marriage to be willing to do the paperwork so if he’s here on a spousal visa, a lawyer would’ve done the paperwork. Additionally, I can see the financial requirements being a major concern for the BRF; the BRF goes to a great length to protect their financial information from other countries and the general public. They’re not going to let the US (no matter how special the relationship) take a peek at their books. So I suspect they squashed the idea of a spousal visa unless it was done *exclusively* on Meghan’s own savings/net worth. Which she balked at doing because it implies she’s financially responsible for Harry and that’s not what she signed up. She signed up to spend Charles’s money. Not her own. So that’s off the table.

Next is the diplomatic visa. Harry doesn’t actually have a diplomatic passport. He has a regular passport. He may have had a second passport for work that he traveled on UK business for, but he never had diplomatic status in the BRF; only The Queen and Charles did.

And that’s something government officials are really strict about, that people travel on official business use official papers. Officials traveling on personal business use personal papers. Or, that’s how it works here in the US. Not sure about the UK.

Now for Harry to have come to the US on a diplomatic passport for a diplomatic visa, he would have had to present his credentials for being here, and those credentials would have explained clearly and succinctly what he was in the US for and what official business he had with us. They would’ve looked into it.

So I don’t think he’s here on a A/diplomatic visa. Or perhaps not anymore, when it was made clear following the one-year Megxit review that he no longer represents the UK or works on behalf of The Queen/BRF.

Which leaves the O visa, for talent. But I don’t think it’s Better Up. I think it’s Invictus Games. Not only would it explain why they still stick with Harry despite all the expenses and criticism they cost the Foundation. And that’s what Harry is known for, outside of the BRF - his military support and support for veterans. It would also explain why Harry continues to try so hard to collaborate with the US military and warfighter community. Because he needs the military to support his visa.

Maybe it’s transferred to Better Up now since he seems to do more work for them.

As to why the government is trying so hard to keep his visa papers buried? I think they know we know Harry isn’t qualified to be here on a diplomatic or an O visa, so the BRF greased the wheels a bit in some way, shape, or form to help him get through the system.

But also if he’s here on a O-1 visa connected to Invictus Games, it could imply government or DOD support; if not DOD directly, then close partners or contractors…aka military lobbyists.

So that’s where I am right now.

And fingers crossed this gets posted in full. 🤞

[pluralfuture]

Happy Pride! To (coincidentally) celebrate, here's the next part in my series inspired by @thisbelongsto-nohbodys 's AU. This time, with a focus on a soft moment between the two new girlfriends and the consequences of their actions when exploring that tomb. Also, please feel free to give constructive criticism.

CW: Just fluffy shipping nonsense in this one

The Consequences of Our Actions

Lily flopped backwards onto her bed, sighing softly. While Mae Anne had been more happy that Lily was alright than angry Lily had gone into an ancient unknown tomb in search of adventure, that hadn't meant Anne hadn't been angry at all. And so, after she and Azura had confessed their feelings for one another, Anne had come in and informed them that any dating would have to wait as Lily was grounded. And so, that led to Lily's current mood. Bored out of her mind.

A knock came from the door, and Lily heard her Mom Sasha's voice. “Lilypad? Mind if I come in?”

“Sure.” Lily said, counting whatever she could find on her ceiling.

Sasha entered the room and sat by her eldest daughter on the bed. “Hey. How are you holding up?”

Lily shrugged. “Fine.” It was a white lie. She had been having the occasional nightmare, but Lily didn't think it was that big a deal. So what if she woke up in a cold sweat, covering her mouth so she didn't scream in the middle of the night? To her, that was nothing compared to nearly dying. Sasha, however, knew something was bothering Lily, and didn't share her opinion.

“Lily,” Sasha spoke carefully, trying not to go full psychologist on her daughter, “look, I can tell something is bugging you. You might see it as minor, but believe me, it's not so minor that I can't notice.”

“Yeah, but it's your job to notice if little things are wrong.” Lily replied with a slight eye roll. “Look, if I think it's a big enough problem to tell you, I will, Mom. I promise.”

Sasha sighed slightly through her nose but nodded. She knew that she had to get Lily to open up, either to her or someone else, before it got that bad. But she also knew better than to push this. “Okay. Just remember, you're never alone.” Sasha gave her daughter a soft kiss on the forehead and got up, leaving the room and closing the door behind her

Taking a deep breath, she went to the kitchen, where Anne was currently deciding what to make for dinner. “Anne, we should invite Azura over.” She spoke bluntly. Anne turned around with a raised eyebrow.

“What? Sash, I get Lily may be bored, but she's grounded. That means no girlfriend. Either going out to see her or her coming over. If she really wants to speak to Azura, she's allowed to call.” Anne said, turning back to the fridge.

“Anne, Lily's going through something. Something bad. But she probably thinks it's not as bad as nearly dying, so she's bottling it. She won't open up to me, and I doubt she'll just open up over the phone.” Sasha sighed. “Look, I just… we need to get on this before it becomes something she tells us about.”

Anne turned around with a frown. “You think the encounter with that armour messed her up that bad?”

“I can tell when someone's not sleeping as much as they should.” Sasha said simply.

Anne sighed. “Alright. I'll invite Luz and Amity over, let them know to bring Azura.”

Sasha pulled her wife into a soft embrace. “Hey. Lily will be fine, okay?” She softly pecked Anne on the lips. “Trust me, it's not always good to be a stern parent.”

Anne nodded and kissed her wife back, stepping out of the embrace and pulling out her phone. “You have a degree in this stuff, so I'll trust your judgment.” She said with a soft smile, dialing Luz's number.

It was only about an hour before the Noceda-Blights arrived, their travel time helped thanks to Mr. X working with Amity to create more portals between dimensions, including more portals to the Isles. Anne answered the door. “Hey, thanks for coming on such short notice. I ordered some pizza, so that should be here soon.”

Luz smiled. “No problem. Always happy to visit.” She said, entering with Amity. 

Azura followed behind them, more nervous than she usually was. This was her first time entering the Boonchuy household as Lily's girlfriend. When her Mama had told her they were headed over for dinner, Azura could only assume Lily's moms wanted to have the “You're dating our daughter” talk.

Sasha approached the witchling as Luz and Amity made their way to the living room. “Azura, thanks for coming with your folks.”

“N-No problem.” Azura stammered, now realizing how muscular Sasha was, hoping she would never anger the older woman enough to know what it felt like to feel how muscular she was.

Sasha placed a hand softly on Azura's shoulder. “Hey, no need to be nervous.” Sasha said softly, with a warm smile. “Trust me, you have nothing to worry about.” Sasha's smile faded. “Though, I did ask for you to come for a serious reason.”

Azura looked up, confused. “A serious reason?”

Sasha took a deep breath. “Something's bothering Lily. She's not sleeping enough, and I think it may be nightmares about that thing you two encountered the other day.”

Azura's eyes widened. “Wh-What? Is she okay?” Worry instantly took over her voice.

“She says she's fine, and she'll tell us if she stops feeling fine, but if she's the way she is right now, I'd rather she not get worse.” Sasha explained. “She won't talk to her moms, so… I figured her girlfriend might be able to help.”

Azura nodded, and went to head to Lily's room, but Sasha gave her a gentle pull. “Let her open up on her own. Don't force it. That could just end up causing you two to fight.” Sasha advised, before heading to the living room.

Azura took a deep breath and headed to Lily's room, knocking on the door. Aftering receiving verbal confirmation from Lily to enter, Azura did just that, closing the door behind her.

Lily shot up into a sitting position with wide eyes and a slight blush on her cheeks. “A-Azura?”

Azura smiled softly, a blush reaching her own cheeks as she sat by Lily. “Your moms invited us over for dinner.” She said, answering Lily's unasked question. Azura gently took Lily's hand in her own, interlocking their fingers.

The two sat there silently, blushes on their faces and barely able to make eye contact for more than a few seconds at a time. Lily was the first to break the silence.

“S-So how's school?” She asked awkwardly.

“Oh, um, good. Good. Keeping me busy.” Azura responded. “You?”

Lily sighed softly. “I'm passing, at least.”

Azura nodded. Another long stretch of silence followed.

“Um… so, this is… a lot different now that we're dating, huh?” Lily asked with an awkward chuckle.

Azura laughed softly. “Yeah. Yeah, it really is.”

“It just feels like-”

“-there's a lot that went unsaid for too long, and now-”

“-we have no idea how to say it all.”

The two looked at each other and laughed softly, falling backwards on the bed and looking at each other.

“Titan, we're just as much of gay disasters as our moms, huh?” Azura chuckled softly.

Lily let herself laugh too. “I guess we are.” Lily moved closer to Azura, closing her eyes and placing her head on Azura's shoulder, causing Azura to blush at the close physical contact. “I'm… I'm glad you're here.” Lily admitted in a whisper.

Azura looked at Lily and gently tilted her head so it was resting on Lily's. “I'll always be there when you need me. I promise.” Azura whispered back. She unwove her hand from Lily's, only to wrap her arm around Lily's torso, gently holding the blonde girl close.

Lily positioned herself so she could wrap her arms around Azura's waist, gently squeezing. “I… I keep having nightmares.” Lily admitted, tears forming at the corners of her eyes, even as they were closed. “That… that thing breaks out, but… but it always ignores me. It goes right for you. I… I try to help you, b-but my body won't move. And… and then… then it… it…” Lily's breaths were shaky, as she tried not to cry. She felt a gentle touch on her chin, and she opened her eyes and looked up, seeing Azura with tears in her own eyes.

“I… I can't promise I'll always be safe. But I promise you, Lily, that it'll never be your fault if I get hurt.” Azura gently touched her forehead to Lily's as the pair closed their eyes, taking comfort in each other's presence. While they couldn't say if they'd always be alright, they knew they could say that they'd always face anything life threw at them together.

On the Isles, the stone door to an ancient tomb was slowly pushed open by the tomb's sole inhabitant…

[kimyoonmiauthor]

How to Diagnose scenes when you're stuck

This is basically one of those, it works for me, may work for you, but maybe not and that's OK. And no, it's not one of those, so you have writer's block, welcome to hell, and here's artificial things that might work like taking a walk, taking a shower, eating something.

It's looking at the story theory and the mechanics of story and saying, you're addicted to this story and really want to get through this, so what tools do you have to get through this before you lament it's not something you can fix and then get fixated on the fact you can't fix it and then spiral into anxiety hell, and believe a homophobic psychologist who used his own trauma to hate on others? (And yes, I wrote about that one too... you'll realize this is a theme of my blog. I find the origin of belief systems you have never questioned).

The order *I* tend to go in is this... This is mostly US, UK, Korean, Japanese and maybe Chinese Storytelling.

Keep in mind these are bending to larger forces, such as theme, tone, and the story driver, such as emotion and conflict.

Also writing this to remind myself not to freak out when I get stuck.

Setting

Setting is a bunch of moving parts, but usually is the easiest thing to change.

Sometimes the smallest thing you need to change is the setting.

Where the hell are your characters in space, time and relation to each other and what are they doing and why?

You should keep in mind things like

Degree of privacy?

Time of Day?

Time of Year?

Are there seasons?

What place or location are they?

Where are they in relation to each other?

What props are in the area that might enhance or take away from their existing mood?

What was the settings you had in your previous scenes?

How are your character's physical needs interacting with this space?

Are they distracted?

What activity are they doing together, not together, alone, well or not well?

What do your characters hope for being there?

Try changing this and the emotions can change and ripple.

I should note that you still should be rewriting everything in the scene as a result of the ripple, but it should be far smaller than before.

2. Characters

Who is there? What are they doing there? Add and subtract characters. Yes, this includes extra and background characters. Sometimes adding one character or deleting can change the pace of the entire scene.

3. Events

This is what save the Cat would call "beats" But there are several types of "Beats" Emotional beats, action beats. And really events include characters and settings. No matter what that whole "plot-driven" vs. "Character-driven" nonsense tells you.

Sometimes the event are going haywire because you dealt these out too fast or not fast enough or, you the author have nothing left after this and are worried what you should do, should you let the plot move on past the will they won't they or not? Timing is in the purview of the author. 2 weeks is too fast. 1 year might be too slow.

4. Research

Yes, rabbit holes are a bane to people's exisence, but sometimes doing fact checks on your existing work can help you out of your hole. Watch a documentary on your time period--maybe one that you already watched or didn't watch. Look up a fact. Do a book or audiobook or articles on a piece that you didn't have time to investigate prior. Sometimes this shakes out ideas.

Also, this is why YOU DO NOT STEAL IDEAS FROM OTHER PEOPLE. Because you will not be passionate enough to connect all of those little threads and the guilt will eat you alive as you work, especially if you do not give credit. A Good book has some semblence of the things you changed from the "real world" or "different from other books" in order. So, you should be passionate about the idea and completing it end to end. If you do not, and do not expound, then you are just a lazy plagiarizer. Develop the themes, further than what you have on paper. 'cause I guarantee you, people can spot when you just took the idea and DID NOTHING WITH IT and then fell back onto tired old tropes. I can name books and places where people universally said they felt this becuse the theming suddenly changed from the hook, or the intial idea changed direction. Don't do this.

Develop your ideas through research. Don't be a lazy writer. What you feel is important, what you feel will work will pan out further and further and gain speed and momentum. So when you are stuck, this is the time to research. You might find some factoid that gets you unstuck.

[iemand2]

Erna-the-Nun

George had a colleague who was a nun. A fairly tall woman, yet quite plump with huge breast, which was of no use to her, considering her age: "Those 'mountains' just get in the way when eating," she commented, "I have to go over them with my arms to get food into my mouth." During conversations, she regularly alternated the biggest nonsense about herself and her figure with quite intelligent observations and analyzes about her profession as child psychologist. Erna "did" children, George "did" adults. There was some common ground because children have parents and parents have children. Not only that, both parents and children can be deranged or become deranged, and parents may drive their children crazy, and children their parents. All of them can be deranged or even criminal, which you could or should prevent. So, conversation topics with Erna-the-Nun were inexhaustible.

George and Erna liked to retire regularly to George's foreign holiday home. Female colleagues didn't like it at all. "George, how can you put up with such a crazy person?" That wasn't a question, it was rather a failed attempt to tell George that they themselves were much smarter and more attractive than Erna-the-Nun. "And she's ugly too," some of them said. Men even called her "hideous." Erna was indeed the complete opposite of "a sultry."

What George and Erna shared was a complete lack of value judgments. He could discuss everything with her, nothing was too crazy for her. Was there such a thing as a gay birthday? Yes, and Erna had been there as the only woman. "How was it?" George asked. "Quite enjoyable," she answered. "Enjoyable" wasn't her word, hers was "affectionate." "What do you mean by "affectionate?", George asked. "The way people interact with each other." Erna answered. "Do you mean 'sweet'? And that at a gay party?" "No, affectionate." "Then tell me what you've been through."

In one room, people had been sitting together chatting and laughing, as was the custom on most birthdays. But there was a dark room in the basement furnished with a sling. Someone could hang in there and then be "taken from behind." And there would also be "fist fucking" as an attraction, but the story didn't end there. So, all was "very affectionate."

Sexuality is a favorite theme among psychiatrists. Among those of the Freudian school, but even more so among those who think of the Freudian school to be obsolete. Both Erna-the-Nun and her colleague An knew how to talk about it. "Sex for psychologists" is not a book on how psychologists should have sex. It means fodder for psychologists, who can never get enough of it. It is also a big deal for female colleagues, as An said. An was the most cordial of all the people George knew, colleague Bé was of a much older date, but talking about sex was a piece of cake for both of them. Sometimes it could be painful in company, as the next chat between two women at a party shows.

"Some people are narrow-minded. I recently got a woman on a therapy setting who didn't want to be taken from behind!" "Yes, there are people who are easily ashamed of such things." "Oh, people can do strange things with themselves… a few days ago, a friend doctor had to help a man brought into the emergency room with his spring mattress where he had put his genitals in. The paramedics, who were alarmed, couldn't help him without damage because his genitals were swollen and bleeding.

The ladies in the party burst out laughing; only the colleagues of course. The gentlemen and ladies non-psychologists deemed such conversations unsuitable in company. They thought "Can't you talk about anything else!" Which is not quite right, because psychologists talk about everything and incessantly.

Yet, there is something special about sex, both in real life and talking about. George was always keen to know all ins and outs about it. What was a better opportunity to talk about it than with a nun. With Loudon's nuns (France, 1634) in mind who were not only fooling around with friars day and night, but also getting hysterical, George asked Erna-the-Nun what it had been like in her convent. In the meantime, she no longer wore a habit, as George had known her from their early student days, lived independently and only came to the monastery on heydays.

Loudon, that was something else. At a time of hysteria and fear of the devil sometime in the seventeenth century, wealthy girls for whom no suitor could be found or no dowry was available, were usually sent to a monastery. Those girls weren't there by vocation. Their sexuality kept bubbling up. The vow of chastity had been forced upon her, and as a result, the monastery garden was full of buried baby corpses. Erna had lived in several monasteries: "No, George, really not, never bothered, no urge, I really don't know anything about lesbian loves or something like that, I think only men are bothered by sex." That is of course not entirely true, because nymphomania does exist. But the novice period in the monastery sifts out such candidates.

George recently heard of a serious scientific study that had shown that sex sometimes hasn't to come out like the air from an over-inflated bicycle tire, as Freud believed. The "safety valve theory" turned out to be incorrect. Sexual urge is not like hunger and thirst, but simply arises during a learning process. George had once heard the same from a Buddhist monk: no lust, no desire, just occasional wet dreams.

The story doesn't end there yet. The fact that the friars did it with the boys and sometimes with girls was not revealed until later, although many had suspected it for a long time, and therapists had to hear harrowing stories. The church is however only a man of his time as well —if we may use the word "man" here to refer to a collective. Catholic nuns believe that humans are of good will, and therefore, they really have to do with people. When the superior of a monastery heard about the safety valve theory in the 1980s, she immediately took action. A therapist was engaged, a man, because unfortunately there was no Catholic woman to be found who was familiar with similar matters. (Catholic psychiatrist Dr. Anna Terruwe was well into her seventies at the time.)

The nuns were given information about sex, as feminists had advocated. And, consequently, masturbation lessons (think of the safety valve theory). Erna-the-Nun couldn't resist talking to George about it. He had to promise strict secrecy, but he refused. Nevertheless, she told her story. She had been given a vibrator from the course to experiment at home herself. That would have been of little help. One day, she went shopping with that thing in her and on-mode. She went to the bakery and as soon as she stood on the doormat, she had an orgasm, the first of her life! At the same time, the store bell was activated, letting staff know that a customer had entered. The orgasm was so intense that the store girls yelled for Erna to get off the mat because the bell kept ringing. When Erna left the store, she was somewhat calm and, like Pavlov's dog, so-called classical conditioning manifested itself. This scene repeated itself every time Erna entered the bakery and stood on the door mat. Erna kept having orgasms despite the screams of the shop girls. That happened more than once a day for a week. "One of the sacred numbers mentioned in the bible is seven," Erna-the-Nun commented.

[gunsli-01]

Milgram Characters Mental Health Headcanons

Haruka: Has gone to therapy a few times. Enjoys it depending on the ammount of attention received. One on one is nice though if there were more people overseeing him he'd probably get excited. Probably believes psychiatric diagnoses can do more harm than good depending on how others respond to the information.

Yuno: Would go to it if she had nothing better to do but takes everything psychiatrists say with a grain of salt. Probably has a bunch of critical things to say about therapists in general or finds that line of work disingenuous. Could totally see her saying "Why would I pay someone to pretend to care about me when I can get paid instead?"

Futa: Probably thinks mental healthcare is nonsense and that real men solve their own problems. While secretly looking into it online and dabbling in self-diagnosing just a little.

Mu: She's probably had a private therapist all her life. This could be because of her acting out when she was a kid. Enjoys therapy but would probably put up a front to her psychiatrist especially if the information in their sessions is told to her parents. I think she'd enjoy it cause they listen to her talk and it's more like a once a week hangout in her home.

Shidou: Has coworkers in the field who try to give helpful advice. He'd like it more if they minded their own business though. Probably hasn't sought out a professional personally.

Mahiru: Gets all information on mental health and wellness online. Closest thing she has to therapy is her chats with her hairdresser.

Kazui: Can't/Won't talk too busy failing to repress all inconvenient emotions. Considers himself too cowardly to admit he has a problem to himself already while fully knowing he does. Literally would not waste another humans time or his money just on the off chance he'll unpack something he packed up to begin with. Could see him saying "There isn't enough money in the world to excuse having someone put up with my feelings/indecisiveness." Totally the type to recommend therapy to others though. Much rather talk about other people's problems than his own. Will play the boring old man card if asked about how things have been on his end.

Amane: Mental healthcare is medical care. Understanding the importance of mental health and the way ones emotions and feelings can be weaponized against them is beneficial to not ending up getting taken advantage of. She is not allowed to go but she likes therapists and would probably enjoy talking to school psychologists. Along with studying the concept in her spare time for personal growth and benefit.

Mikoto: Has never stepped into a therapists office in his life. Closest thing he's gotten to help from a specialist is possibly a guidance counselor in school and managers or hr at any place he may have worked at. Trauma is a five letter word and repression is ten take the difference and you've got enough free letters to spell what Mikoto tells people when they ask how he's doing "Great." Is not neurotypical and probably has more things that have gone undiagnosed outside of the d.i.d. Thinks therapy is nice if a person can afford it but it's not very practical to get unless absolutely necessary.

Kotoko: Would one hundred percent say therapy is a construct. What's therapeutic for one person might not be for another. It's really something a person has to sort out for themselves. Considers what she's doing a form a therapy.

[macgyvermedical]

Hi. I promise I'm not trying to be antagonistic so I apologize if anything in this ask comes off ass aggressive, I really don't intend intend to be.

In 2022, how should one expect to be treated if one goes into the ER feeling suicidal?

Chronic pain nonsense has had me longing for death more days than not. It got to a really bad point where I was strongly considering plans every single day...and the hospital completely blew me off.

Uhm, is this... typical? Should I expect that ER services are no longer able to handle situations where folks are considering suicide?

To be overly frank, I'm not opposed to the idea of suicide but I don't want to hurt others. I went for the sake of concern for those who love me. I'm not afraid to die if there were no consequences of it. Are there still resources for those experiencing feelings like mine, or should I seek anything else?

I don't have any sort of health insurance and I've been denied medicaid despite supposedly qualifying for it. I'm at my wits end and struggling to find what the hell I can even do anymore.

I'm sorry this happened to you, anon.

The ED works on a screening tool- if you score high enough, you should be able to get some level of care, even if it is just speaking with a psychiatrist (in a larger medical center, at least, in a smaller one it's probably going to be whatever doc is there). Typically self harm or suicidal ideation without defined plan or means will not be enough to "count" as needing emergency care (and tbh, if you got sent to the hospital every time you had suicidal ideation, you'd never be able to tell a counselor or work on those things). Just saying "I'm thinking about suicide" will most likely get a "yeah you and everyone else here buddy".

If you know you really need care and can't get it elsewhere- and as a med pro I hate to say this- exaggerate just slightly. Some things that will boost your score include reporting a defined plan with a timeline in the very near future and reporting access to your chosen means of harm. Make the triage nurse feel like you might die right in front of them, because to be perfectly honest, they're completely desensitized to everything else (and honestly probably a little bit desensitized to that too).

The nice thing is, if you do get admitted, the hospital wants to be able to recoup some of the cost and will do everything they can to help to get you on medicaid. This is also not a particularly crazy amount of help because let's face it, the social work department is understaffed too, but hopefully having that leg up with work in your favor.

If you then have medicaid, you'll generally have more options for mental health care. I would recommend starting by getting a primary care doctor instead of trying for a psychiatrist off the bat. It might take a while for a new-patient appointment, but primary care (especially those with a residency- look for offices with a strangely large number of providers or ask if the office is a residency/training clinic) can handle a lot of psych problems internally and can refer you to an outside psychiatrist if they can't help you adequately. Some family med and internal med offices even have their own social workers, psychiatrists and/or psychologists who can help on the spot.

If you do get a bill and don't make more than about 4 times the poverty line, you can call the financial assistance office, report your inability to pay, and ask about how much they can reduce your bill. For a lot of people living around or below the poverty line, they can reduce your bill to zero. For higher amounts of income, you can still expect a substantial reduction and a willingness to work toward a payment plan.

I know none of this is great news, but as far as I am aware this would be a good path forward for someone who needs access to the currently extremely stretched services of the US healthcare system and who doesn't currently have insurance.

[camels-pen]

glue day

Warning: depression mention, self-blame

Summary:

Sometimes there are days when Danny won't—can't—speak and sometimes there are days when he's forced to anyway. He's just glad he has a sister as great as Jazz watching out for him. The knowledge that he has family who cares about him helps with the crushing sadness of the family who don't.

(less fluffy than it sounds)

title is a reference to my other fic, they're siblings, your honor

Ao3 Link

---

“He’s not depressed!” Jack whisper-shouted. As if the floorboards ever muffled any sound in this house, Danny mentally scoffed. “We raised him well. Going to a psychologist or shrink or whatever won’t help him. He just needs to power through this.” Ha. Power through. What does he think Danny’s been doing until now?

“You don’t understand, Danny—”

“Jazzy, we’re doing our best and Danny’s been getting better. He hasn’t come home after curfew in a while and his grades are going up!” Because he’s gotten better at sneaking out. Because his friends and Jazz help him keep up with his classes.

“That’s not the only—”

“I don’t understand why you keep arguing about this.” Yeah, neither does Danny. He thought Jazz had given up by now, same as him. “If Danny was having problems he’d tell me himself or go to your mother. You’re just getting sucked into your psychology books again when you should be focusing on your own homework. How do you expect to go to college if you don’t focus on what’s important?” Ouch. He should text Jazz later, she’s probably not going to have a great night.

“DAD!” She yelled. “Can you just listen?! For once in your fucking life?!” Uh oh, Jazz is bringing out the curses.

“Jasmine Fenton!”

“No! You are going to shut your fucking mouth and listen to me! Danny is hurting. He’s hurting more than you or I will ever really know and he needs help!” Well, she’s not wrong. The ghosts have been giving him a tougher time lately. He’s also running out of concealer for his injuries. Maybe they could go to the store and get him some. And some hot chocolate. Man, what he wouldn’t give for hot chocolate right now.

“Young lady, you know better than—”

“Do you hear him?” She didn’t yell, but Jazz’s quiet voice easily cut off Jack. “Late at night, when he lays awake in his bed do you hear him muffling his sobs and telling himself over and over that you guys love him? That the pain he’s feeling is all in his head and he just needs to do better and be better so that you guys would give him the time of day and not constantly look at him as if his very existence is a disappointment?” Ah, Jazz heard that. Maybe if Danny wasn’t so tired, he would’ve panicked and gone down to complain about their yelling. Reassure his dad that Jazz is talking nonsense and then plan a thoughtful apology for her later. Maybe.

“I don’t—”

“No. You don’t.” Danny would make an ice pun about her cold tone, but he barely had the energy to twitch his fingers right now, much less speak. “You don’t know a thing about him.”

At that, Jack made an indignant noise. “He’s my son! Of course I know things about him!” Wrong answer, Jack.

“What’s his favorite colour?” He’s not gonna know it, Jazz.

“What?”

“What,”—she growled—“is Danny’s favorite color?”

“Yellow. Now don’t change the subject—” Hey, look at that, Danny was right.

“It’s blue.” Ding ding ding. We have a winner.

“Okay, but it was yellow when he was younger.” No, it wasn't. Yellow’s always been Tucker’s favorite color. “Anyway, I don’t see what this has to do with me knowing Danny.”

“Fine. Let me ask you something simple then.” Aw, Jazz, don’t do that. They’re not gonna listen anyway and it’ll just make things harder for Danny.

Gosh, it’s times like this, Danny really wishes he had enough energy to get down the stairs at least. Pass by the kitchen or something so they know he’s around and stop talking about him. He wouldn’t speak, he’s not delusional enough to think he’d feel up to speaking any time soon, but his presence would probably stop them and let him lay on his bed in peace.

“When was the last time you heard Danny speak to you?”

There was a pause. Danny thought that Jack was probably looking either comically confused or extremely indignant.

“I talked to him just this morning!” Not because he wanted to. It wasn’t even a real conversation.

“Exactly, you talked to him. He barely said a few words and then rushed out the door without breakfast. It wasn’t a real conversation.” Honestly, that’s Danny’s fault. He should’ve checked beforehand if anyone was in the lab before sitting at the table. And it was fine anyway. He had a nice invisible flight across town and lay on his favorite roof to watch the clouds. He even texted his friends and Jazz where he was and they joined him. He truly doesn’t get why Jazz was so fed up about this today. It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.

Jack huffed. “Okay, so he didn’t talk much. It was seven in the morning and he probably wanted to get to school early. Besides, what teenager is fully awake before noon?” Danny usually is, unfortunately.

“It’s Saturday.” she hissed. “He planned to play video games and work on one of his homework assignments today. I was going to take him out for dinner too. He told me his plans this morning before you came up the stairs and ruined everything!” That’s not fair, Jazz. Dad didn’t know what forcing Danny to say something would do to him. She shouldn’t keep blaming him when Danny’s the one with the stupid brain.

“You’re saying it’s my fault?” Jack said in an incredulous tone. “All I did was ask what he wanted for breakfast!”

“And then when he texted you the answer and specifically said he wasn’t up to talking, you kept hounding him until he said something!”

“Well yes, obviously. It’s disrespectful to text me when I’m standing right in front of him.” Oh, that stings a little.

“Seeing as you don’t know sign language, how else is he supposed to tell you anything?”

Jack sputtered. “Danny knows sign language? Since when? Do you know it?”

“We’re both basically fluent at this point. Now let me repeat myself. How would he be able to tell you anything if he couldn’t speak?”

“He can speak fine! He just chooses not to!” Huh. Danny expected some kind of response like that. He didn’t expect how much it felt like something was stabbed right through his heart.

Jack took a deep breath. “He’s just getting lazy, Jazzy, and he certainly doesn’t need you to indulge him.”

Jack is right. He might not be right about a lot of things, but he’s right about this. Danny likes to say his brain is stupid and forces him to act this way, but he knows, deep down, that he’s most likely just being lazy. He’s just doing what he wants and procrastinating on all the important stuff. It’s just an excuse to let him avoid his responsibilities.

In his mini spiral, Danny nearly missed the sound of Jack’s surprised ‘oof’ and a weight falling creaking sound of the couch.

Nearly.

Jazz’s voice, much quieter, much colder, and much much angrier than before said, “You better hope Danny is actually asleep and didn’t hear a word you just said because if he did, you will be sorry.”

“Are you—?”

“Yes, I am fucking threatening you.” she hissed. “And I will make good on that threat because this is exactly the kind of shit that sends him spiraling.” A small fuzzy feeling flickered in his chest. He didn’t deserve Jazz.

“Jasmine,” Danny mentally winced. Jack’s disappointed tone was always rough for him to listen to.

She didn’t respond, but Danny could hear some shuffling and heard her move a few steps back.

“Jazz, sit down at the table. We’re going to talk about this and I’m going to explain exactly why you are wrong and why you should never threaten or shove other people for challenging your ideas. Especially your family.” Oof. Dad’s really pushing it. “And I will be telling your mother when she gets back from her trip.”

She scoffed. “You won’t. You won’t even remember this conversation after you go back to the lab.” Wow, Jazz is on fire with the correct answers today. He wonders if she would do just as good on a trivia game show. Like Jeopardy or something.

He’s not sure what happens next. It’s silent for a while. He can imagine Jazz was probably glaring at Jack though.

It takes a few more moments before Jazz speaks up again.

“I’m turning 18 next month.” Woah. Dropping the bomb now? Jazz must be really upset to deviate from her well thought out plans.

Jack huffed. “I know when your birthday is.” Sure he does. “Are you trying to prove I don’t know you either? Or is this some other kind of threat?”

“I’m not trying to prove anything anymore. I’m not trying anymore. This is a warning. A promise.” Her voice dipped lower, but Danny was still just barely able to hear her. “You only have so much time to fix things. And I’m not waiting a second longer.”

“What? What does that even—Jazz. Jasmine! Don’t walk away when I’m talking to you!” He heard the tell tale squeak of the wooden stairs and closed his eyes just before hearing his door crack open.

He knew she was checking in on him. He knew she could tell when he was faking sleep. He knew all that. It didn’t stop him from trying though.

And maybe this time she was too upset to notice, or she didn’t think she’d be able to muster up any words of comfort, or maybe… maybe she wanted comfort instead.

This time, unlike all the others, Jazz simply slipped in without a word, sitting beside him and running a hand through his hair without any indication that she knew he was awake. Her other hand found one of his and intertwined their fingers.

They stayed like that for a while, Jack’s loud lecture and knocking on her bedroom door going ignored as they quietly enjoyed the other’s presence. The man couldn’t even be bothered to check if it was locked. It was pretty funny if you think about it.

Long after Jack had returned to his room in a huff, Jazz still sat next to him, still combed through his messy hair, still didn’t tell him she knew he was awake.

He nearly drifted off for real when he felt a slight pressure on his head and his hair started getting wet. A shaky inhale followed as the pressure left.

“I promise, we’re going to leave as soon as we can.” Her hand tightened around his own. “Just hold out for me a little longer. Please,” she said, the last word breaking on a small sob.

She left after another kiss on his head, slipping off the bed without a sound and opening the door once more. Danny wants to reach out, to drag her back and ask her to stay with him for the night, like when they were kids, but he stays still. She needs time to herself, he can’t be selfish right now, not after all she’s done for him.

When they have their own place, then he’ll ask. They’ll probably have to share a mattress or something the first few nights anyway so he’ll have his chance then. Now though… now he needs to suck it up and hold out. If not for himself, then for Jazz.

She still hasn’t moved from the doorway and the temptation grows, but he stays still. Eventually, the hinges creak and he squashes down the small bit of irrational sadness that flares up as she leaves.

Before the door closes completely, at a volume nearly unintelligible, Jazz whispered, “Just- Just a little longer.”

[greenygreenland]

Friends: Platonic Omega x Mechanic Reader

-sorry, I was supposed to write more, but idk what happened

-requested

-sorry I'm late to finishing this. Hope it's not too disappointing.

-i had MCAS and a lot of other stuff to do, so I got soooo busy

It started out as a one-tine thing. You had gotten hurt on a mission to the Outer Rim, and despite only being a simple mechanic, the 501st had an insane liking to your skills. They were nice boys, and you enjoyed hanging out with them. It wasn't like you minded.

Anything was better than an old, greasy hanger.

But then it wasn't. You had been caught in a stray volley of blasts, and somehow, ended up with a hole in your shoulder. The last thing you remembered was yelling at Kix, then Jesse, and finally a sea of darkness.

This one-time volley of stray shots became another incident. Then another. And another. Sometime during your visits to the med bay, you met a young girl with bright eyes and blonde hair. She had the toothy-est smile, the most enthusiastic words, and the best laugh that made you feel like life wasn't so bad.

"And then I walked past Nala Se. She told me to stay close, but you know me, I can't stay close because what else am I supposed to do?" Omega ranted with a dramatic sigh.

Three months ago, this little girl would have been all smiles and nervous laughs. Now, she talked like she had known you for years.

"The boys always give me these weird looks. I don't really care though. They're all Melanie's because I'm different...!"

Whenever Omega had nothing to do, she came to your room. The girl always said it was to run 'tests', but you knew better. She just needed someone to talk to.

"Hey, (Y/n)?"

You hummed in acknowledgement.

"We're...friends right?"

You raised a curious brow. Omega wasn't one to openly show doubt unless asked about it. Her enthusiasm and natural curiosity always kept that part of her in check. Yet the look in her eyes was different today.

Those orbs swirled with uncertainty, worry, and so much doubt you couldn't understand. You were a simple mechanic, not a top-tier psychologist. "Where is this coming from, Omega?" you inquired.

Omega fiddled with her thumbs. "Well...someone said to me today that I annoy you and that you'd prefer talking to a protocol Droid over me because we're fake friends." That was nonsense. Whoever said that to your dear Omega would have to watch their backs because...

...where in the Universe would you be without little Omega?

"Stop right there." you firmly stated. "Whoever said that is going to have a long talk with my trusty wrench over here. As soon as I can walked again, I'll be sure to make sure everyone knows we're the bestest friends."

A smile rose to your lips but Omega didn't return it. "If I hadn't met you, then I'd be so lonely here every single day. Who else am I supposed to make friendship bracelets for anyway?"

Omega blinked. "Friendship bracelets?" You dug a hand in your pocket and pulled out two braided bracelets. "I worked all night on these." One was a marvelous (colour) while the other a dazzling (colour). You helped put one on Omega's wrist before doing the same with yours.

The frown painted on Omega's lips disappeared in an instant. She beamed, and it was so bright it could have rivaled the sun. "Wow!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet. "You made this? It's so pretty! I love it!" Omega opened her arms and tackled you in the tightest hug she could muster. "Thank you!"

You ruffled her hair with a grin. "Don't go doubting the power of our friendship because one measly kid says it's 'fake'." Omega pulled away and matched your grin. "You're right. I don't know why I listened to that kid anyway. He's always been known for being mean."

"Then why did you listen to him?"

Omega blinked and rubbed the back of her neck nervously. It was as if she debated between telling the truth or making up a white-lie. If there was anything you knew about clones, it was that they were all terrible liars. Omega was no different.

"I...I guess it's because I'm not used to talking to people much. I've never really been lied to, so it's sort of new to me." You nodded thoughtfully. "Because it's not something you'd think of doing."

"Yeah..."

You ruffled her hair again, watching as her eyes darkened and lightened like a passing patch of cloud. "For a mechanic," Omega scratched her cheek sheepishly, "you're really sharp." You shrugged. "Sometimes you have to be in order to guess the parts that need fixing in a pinch. You learn overtime."

"Oh, that makes sense."

A small chuckle left your lips. You planted both hands on Omega's shoulders firmly. "Listen here, no matter what anyone says, we're friends for as long as I'm breathing. Don't listen to the extras, because you're the main character of your own story."

Omega smiled, taking one of your hands and giving it a good squeeze.

It was funny to imagine how these talks remained a one-tine thing. After various other visits, you got to know Omega on a personal level, as well as how she was as a person.

If there was am author writing your book now, you hoped you were a main character too.

[fatui-harbingers]

I'm so sorry about your losses, I can't imagine going through that. I'm no psychologist obvs, but I do know that the human brain is a weird, nonsensical thing, and who knows why it reacts like it does to certain things honestly. Maybe your grief for your mother just manifested differently, in a less outwardly obvious way. As long as you're sure to allow yourself the ability to grieve in whatever form it may take, that's what's important, I think. And you're not weird for it! Best wishes girl 💕

Thank you so much!

I just get annoyed when I don't understand something. I hate not understanding things lol but I guess everyone does. I've been dealing with random waves of emotion these past few weeks but hopefully my brain will chill tf out lol.

My family kept telling me for a few months after my mom died that it would all just hit me out of the blue one day. Guess we’ll see if that happens or it's like you said, and just manifested in a less obvious way, which is probably it.

But anyways, thanks so much! I really appreciate this! 🥰❤️

[niuniente]

(1) Hello Niu! I've been following you for some years now and I don't quite know where I'm going with this message but I know you do readings and... Well I haven't been doing great lately. In fact I've gotten more and more depressed with age (started when I was 15 now I'm 21). Thing is the final thing or well exam that's been a contribution to my depression for years is on Monday (it's oral Japanese) and I'm just feeling so empty about it. Can't bring myself to study even cuz I worked myself to-

(2) the brink then and I don’t have anymore to give. And even then I don’t feel like I know all I should for my oral since that was a month ago and i haven’t studied hardcore all year. I just wish I knew that I’d be okay and that I will get through this and be able to go to university. I don’t think I can go another year not doing anything with my life except for digging myself further down. (Also yes I’ve contacted my doctor about getting a psychologist to help me but no word back yet)

(3) Why I’m telling you all this is because I’ve seen you on all these years giving great advice and doing readings for people (on commission ofc) and I just.. anything would help at this point. Is there some advice you can give me? Or anything my situation tells you? I just want to be able to move on and follow my dreams but I can’t do that before I get a 3 out of 6 on both of these exams *sighs* Sorry for venting. But I’d love to hear what you have to say. Btw you’re awesome. Thx for being you

——————–

A few things I can point out:

a) This is not the end of the world, even if you didn’t pass the exam. What’s the worst that could happen? A year of wait? What’s a one year in a scale of a life time? You think you’d get depressed more but isn’t that only because you’d feel like a failure - which you are not.

b) Your depressions seems to (at least currently) stem from the belief that you should already have your whole life planned in front of you and/or you should have this and that accomplished (including having a specific personality). Nonsense. Your life has barely begun. No one knows what they want to do for the rest of their life - around their next 50-70 years - when they’re just 21. I also promise your life will NOT stay the same as it is now, so nothing you decide now is permanent.

c) You’re just 21. Your life is up ahead. You have 50-70 years of time to live your life and see what you want to do. You will never stop in your life as “Ah, now I don’t want anything more/now I don’t want to improve/now I don’t want to achieve something new/now I’m complete and nothing in me changes/now I don’t want to try new things/now I don’t want to go to new adventures/now I don’t have any troubles or issues I need to address”. That happens only when you die. Otherwise you are a never-ending project of your own, directed by you.

d) Don’t study hardcore. It won’t achieve anything else but a burn-out to you. Study with the energy you’ve got and if you can’t reach to the same levels as others right now (for being sick), that’s just normal. You wouldn’t put a sick horse into a race and except it to run as fast and well as the healthy horses, right? Why are you expecting same from yourself than from those who are healthy? Nothing in this world is worth of your health and well-being. NOTHING.