#I am way too aroace for this show really. I just want one single main character to *not* end up in a monogamous heterosexual marriage | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

140smashedguitars · 3 years

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Something that I love about Cherry Magic is the way it ignores a bunch of tired/toxic tropes in stories about queer people. I'm gonna list them under a read more because this is gonna get kinda long.

No homophobia This is the big one, obviously. Every story about queer people involves the main character and/or the love interest fighting homophobia. You have the character(s) dealing with slurs, mockery, being isolated from people who they thought cared about them and potentially violently abused. Instead, the only thing vaguely homophobic thing we hear is episode 7 when Adachi is worried about the fact that they’re both men, but then moves past it and tells Kurosawa that he wants to be with him. The only time anyone is suspected of being homophobic is when Minato thinks Tsuge is being homophobic towards him and Rokkaku, a (presumably) cishet character, stands up for Minato and is ready to throw hands for him, until the mistake is quickly rectified. Homophobia just doesn’t have a place in this story, and I know that homophobia is rampant in the real world, I’m not saying it’s not, it’s just that so many stories are already about that and it’s nice to see a queer story focused on someone learning to love and accept themself and realise and accept that they are allowed to be happy.

No coming out Someone made a post about how mainstream stories about queer people are about coming about because that’s what affects cishet people and mainstream media wants to cater to them. I am so tired of this; cishet people being focused on/pandered to in stories about queer people. Our stories are not about you. The stories don’t need to be for you. You can enjoy them, but you don’t need to be the centre of them for that. Instead of having literally any coming out in this show, whenever anyone is revealed to be queer, it isn’t made to be an emotional, important scene. The revelation happens, and the other character accepts it and doesn’t make a big thing out of it. When Adachi finds out for definite that Kurosawa likes him, he doesn’t think “Wait, Kurosawa likes men?” He thinks “Wait, Kurosawa likes me?” Again, I know in real life that coming out is a big and terrifying thing for queer people, but it’s not the only part of our life.

No one is already in a relationship Films like Imagine Me & You and Free Fall (both of which I like) have one of the characters start the film in an opposite sex relationship which they seem happy in, until the other character of the same sex as them comes along and confuses them and then they either want to or do cheat on their current partner and then they have to choose who they want to be with and it’s just a mess. Queer people aren’t just homewreckers or need a special person to come along and make them realise they were gay all along. Bisexual people do exist and can have happy relationships with people of the opposite sex. Who knew! Instead, all 4 members of the couples are single until they get together. Kurosawa isn’t trying to avoid his feelings by being with someone he doesn’t really like and then breaking their heart. Adachi and Tsuge obviously aren’t in relationships because that’s the point of the plot and Minato is single as well. It all works out nicely. There’s no going behind a partners back or promising to leave the partner, but they don’t want to upset them. Just 4 single people who find each other with some bumps along the way.

No aggression at realising they’re gay Brokeback Mountain, Free Fall and a bunch of other films about queer men will do this and I HATE it. One of the characters will fall in love with the other and accept that part of themself, and the other character will start sleeping with him and then get angry and then potentially physically violent if not just verbally abusive because he can’t deal with being attracted to a man and the other character will just continue to love him and want to be with him despite that. Just. Why? Queer people aren’t just toxic or drawn to toxic relationships. This is an awful narrative, especially when the films are catered towards cishet people. Instead, Kurosawa loves and respect Adachi so much, putting his needs first, going at his pace, letting him make the first moves. In return, Adachi loves and respects Kurosawa even if he is nervous about it. He’s respectful of Kurosawa’s feelings and wants him to be himself around Adachi. They love each other for who they are. We get constant shots of them smiling at/because of each other. After Adachi reveals his magic to Kurosawa, Kurosawa doesn’t get angry or upset and only interupts Adachi after he starts insulting himself. And when they break up, again, Kurosawa isn’t angry (though he’s obviously upset), but doesn’t take that out on Adachi. Instead, he takes him back literally with open arms because he understands that Adachi’s problem is with himself and that he needed time to work on that. Kurosawa wants Adachi to see himself as a good person, and Adachi wants the reverse. And even though we don’t see much of Tsuge and Minato, we know that Tsuge is so happy to be with Minato and Minato is clearly happy with Tsuge even if he has a harder time communicating. They both respect each others boundaries as well and Minato goes slow for Tsuge their first time in case Tsuge wants to stop. The relationships have clearly made all 4 of them happy and it shows the queer audience that they can be in happy, respectful and non toxic realtionships too, as is what we deserve.

No fetishisation The fact that this show is based around the main character and his best friend losing their virginities yet there’s no gratuitous sex scenes or even a kiss from the main couple is quite astonishing. Most films about queer people (especially queer men) will have so much explicit sexual content, which is probably there for the cishet female gaze. All 4 members of the couples are treated with respect within the narractive and when one of them does get overly sexualised (Kurosawa) it’s seen negatively. It forces us to see all the characters as human beings and focus entirely on their stories. What wer get instead of the fetishisation is better as well. The first time Adachi and Kurosawa hold hands makes my heart swell. Kurosawa grabbing Adachi’s hand nervously is an amazing shot and it’s so wonderfully intimate that no kiss or sex scene could’ve beaten that. And when we do get a kiss (from Minato and Tsuge) it’s there to make a point. Like I said before, it shows Minato cares about and respects Tsuge’s feelings. We know they had sex, same with Adachi and Kurosawa in the finale but they don’t show it. They don’t need to. Also, Fujisaki is very intersting this aspect. She’s the only female main character and not only is she not fetishised, she’s aroace and it’s completely accepted by Adachi. She’s treated like a human being, and she doesn’t fetishise Adachi and Kurosawa.

No one dies and both couples get together and stay together Self explanatory, but how many stories about queer people do we know of where after everything, one of the main characters die, or the couple just simply don’t end up together? I’m sick and tired of watching so many stories where queer people fight to be themselves and be with someone they love only for that fight to be futile. What’s the point? So seeing a show with FIVE queer people in the main cast who are happy and 4 of them end up in relationships with someone they love that are not toxic that we know will actually last is so refreshing. The show takes the bury your gays trope and says ‘fuck that, we’re not about that’ and I absolutely love it for it.

This show all in all is quite fascinating. It’s 5 hours long and takes all these tropes and throws them in the bin. It tells a compelling, beautiful story that I and so many other queer people really needed. It gives us hope that maybe one day we can find someone who loves us for who we are, be it a friend or romantic partner. It shows us that there are other people like us and we can find them. We are not alone. It shows us that even if we don’t love ourselves, we are still capable of loving someone else and someone else can still love us.

I love this show, and it means more to me than I can explain. I didn’t expect this to get mushy towards the end, but honestly, I want to say thank you for everyone who made Cherry Magic the way it is. It’s a truly amazing show and it’s sad that more people won’t get to see it, but I’m glad I did. ❤️

#mine #cherry magic #i just have so many feelings about this show ok

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grishaversecommunityyy · 3 years

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The Grishaverse Ship Survey Results

So! After all of that, we finally have the results! What is the general opinion on the ships in the Grishaverse? Well, that’s for you to read below! It’s actually pretty interesting and, while some parts make sense, there were definitely some parts which... surprised me... Anyway, onto the results!

Everything in this post can be split into:

The Grisha Trilogy

Six Of Crows Duology

The Nikolai Series

Shadow and Bone: TV Series

Most Enjoyed Ships

Least Enjoyed Ships

Crack Ships and Shipping Discourse

Notes from the Survey

(note from mod emily: i tried to bold all of fritz’ comments, but i might have missed a few! be aware there are two of us analysing here :))

The Grisha Trilogy

The first book series we asked about was, of course, the first chronologically: the Grisha Trilogy. The most popular ship, with 83% voters for this series selecting this, was Genya/David (Fritz was glad to hear that; Yes I am). This is likely due to the lack of alternate romantic interests in the series, which seems to be a major issue for Alina’s ships. It also seems to be one genuinely enjoyed by most fans, in contrast to Darkling/Alina and Mal/Alina (each around 30%) and Nikolai/Alina (just under 20%), for which I have definitely seen plenty of debate. The second and third most popular ships for this series were Tamar/Nadia (55%) and Nikolai/Zoya (47%). Interestingly, Genya/Alina (43%) and Zoya/Alina (30%) ranked surprisingly high, especially considering how few of my friends and associates I hear talking about them. Good for them!

Honourable mentions:

Alina/Sun (no doubt inspired by that crack fic I wrote a while back) (Still havent read that out of fear)

Alina alone (a common concept among those surveyed, though most mentioned it later)

Zoya/Genya or Alina/Zoya/Genya

Six Of Crows Duology

This series was a little less divided, I would say. Predictably, Kaz/Inej came out on top with a whopping 96% of voters (:relieved:), with Wylan/Jesper next (90%) and Nina/Matthias just after (83%). None of the others really came close, despite Nina/Inej gathering 35% of the votes and Colm/Aditi at 25% (yeah, I’m not sure why that was so popular on AO3 either, but nobody really has objections so I assume that’s why it amassed so many votes). As Six of Crows is decidedly less divisive about ships and doesn’t have such controversial ships (more on that later), it seems the fandom agrees with canon pairings and the votes are... pretty unanimous.

Honourable Mentions:

Jesper/Wylan/Kuwei

Polycrows (platonic or romantic)

Kaz/Inej/Nina

Whoever didn’t read the instruction about this being for only the book series and put Jesper/Milo. I will never escape.

The Nikolai Series

This one is a little harder for me because I actually haven’t read this... so over to Fritz for analysis! But first, the stats. At 85%, the most popular ship is Genya/David, followed by Zoya/Nikolai at 77%. Tamar/Nadia and Nina/Hanne draw at 61.5% and Nina/Matthias has 56% voters onboard. There’s no real honourable mentions for this one, sadly. Hello Fritz here! Read the books and very glad to see Genya/David as the top ship as it damn well should. Although still a bit surprising since its more of a side-arc of the two and only ties in with the importance of the story at a specific chapter that I feel like I don’t need to elaborate about, if you read Rule of Wolves. (I believe the popularity of the ship also sky-rocketed due to ROW) Following of course Zoya/Nikolai, the high ranking makes sense, it is the main ship and lets be honest they deserve it <3

I think the only really surprising thing about this is the high votes for Nina/Matthias since [SPOILERS CROOKED KINGDOM] he’s dead so I feel like people should move on from that. Nina/“Hanne” having not as high a ranking as I would’ve thought, but with Matthias still being in the frame I guess we shouldn’t be surprised either.

Shadow and Bone: TV Series

This one is really interesting, with the exclusive show watchers now taking part! We have 89% voting for Kaz/Inej, 76% for David/Genya, 71% for Matthias/Nina, 67% for Ivan/Fedyor (that’s a thing???-->Yeah they had a few somewhat sweet interactions in the background-->nvm i watched it you’re right fritz) and 62% for Mal/Alina. What’s really surprising is how high Malina is compared to Darklina, with Darkling/Alina at 36%. Who knows, maybe Fritz’ analysis can shed some light on this?

Yes yes Fritz to the rescue: First of all we have to see their interactions a little different from what we already knew of them by the end of episode 8. I still think it is a surprising number, since the Darkling in the show isn’t as nasty as he was in the books BUT over all his actions are now seen on TV. We all thought the deer antlers were a necklace amirite? Well no apparently not, the darkling used the worst kind of small science to fit Alinas collarbone to the bone and out comes a gruesome sight: a reason why many people might have started thinking: Wow what a disgusting person he is. And on the Malina “ship”: Mal finally has personality!! jkjk :eyes: Mals and Alinas friendship has been portrayed way better in the show and I believe that the people noticed more chemistry between them especially by the end of season 1. So I’m still a little surprised Darklina has such a low ranking (what with him being all sweet and cuddly in the middle of the show) but it makes sense and the Malina ship as well. Their vibes are just *chefs kiss* and thats coming from someone who didnt even like any of these “ships” <3

Loving the quotation marks for the word ‘ships’, Fritz. Over to the honourable mentions!

Honourable Mentions:

Jesper and Milo (isn’t milo a goat? guys, why?)

Nadia/Marie (huh that didn’t appear anywhere else)

One person had several - Kaz/Inej/Jesper, Dubrov/Mikhael, Dubrov/Mikhael/Mal - and yeah, you can really see the show differences in these mentions right? (whose dubrov...and whose mikhael...)

16% actually voted for Inej/Alina which is wild to me because of book context (they did have chemistry in the show tho :cowboi_smirk:)

Another person with several! We have Nina/Inej, Genya/Alina, Zoya/Alina, Zoya/Genya/Alina. Very sapphic. Good for you.

Kaz/Jesper and Nina/Inej all in one

That’s a lot of honour and mentions but it’s so interesting to me and I think you should see too

Most Enjoyed Ships

The most enjoyed ship was Kaz/Inej. This had unparalleled support, being at 35%. Jesper/Wylan, which was next on the list (23.5%) and Nina/Matthias (18%) were also pretty popular. Most of the others were quite low, though interestingly Mal/Alina only had 1 vote (plus one for the show version). Overall, the SoC ships were a lot more popular in this section, which makes sense - this part is really about your favourite ship, and those were more unanimous in the last sections.

Least Enjoyed Ships

Most people said Darkling/Alina, which got 47% of the NOTP votes. A lot more people disliked Darkling/Alina than liked Kaz/Inej. Make of that what you will, but I take it as a somewhat general agreement among many of you guys. Mal/Alina was also strongly disliked at 22%, but around a half or more of these were clarified to be about the book version of the ship specifically. They really must’ve upgraded in the show! Jesper/Kuwei and any other Darkling ships were also voted by a few, but all of these pale in comparison to the anti-Darklina votes. Shoutout to the person who said Apparat/Anyone. I agree, though it’s not something I thought of before seeing this response. Also one person said they didn’t like the poly ships, which I hope meant just the ones mentioned earlier and not all poly relationships in general... Another shoutout to whoever said Kaz/Heleen, because why did I have to read that. A fun question, all in all!

Crack Ships and Shipping Discourse

I love talking about crack ships, so let’s start with that! This time, I really don’t want to have to count and list because... well, let me show you:

I think that sums up the sheer variety, to be honest. Then again, it would be rude not to mention that the most popular were Jesper/Milo, Darkling/Nikolai and Alina/Sun. (If you’re still confused about that last one, I take full responsibility.)

YES KAZ/KRUGE I SUPPORT!!!

Honourable mention to this:

which was a lot to take in, and:

Now for the discourse. Yep, the part you probably came for.

Actually... maybe you didn’t? Looking at all of these responses, I see a lot of people genuinely don’t care about ship wars and so on, and often enjoyed the books regardless of the romances involved. Quite a few disapproved of the ongoing (though small) wars between Darklina and Malina, and others had a similar line of thinking, saying we should maybe stop focusing so much on it. You guys are right. I know this is a ship survey, and the conclusions should not include that shipping isn’t as important as we make it (Yes it should), but... that’s where it’s at.

And then again, a lot of you guys expressed disapproval for Darkling/Alina, discussing how it is often one-sided and manipulative and overall unhealthy, so I could be completely off with that last one. Some people mentioned that they ship this but as a slightly different version that the one given to us, recognising the flaws of the canon ship.

Someone said they headcanon Tolya as aroace (OMG YES!!). We need more aroace characters, so thank you for that headcanon :) We also have a few gay ships mentioned here, and one person telling us they love Malina. Yes, you’re right - it’s pretty unpopular, it turns out. Someone else said Alina should’ve been single, and I agree, actually!

One person rickrolled me here. Thankfully, Youtube’s ads saved me. *wipes forehead*

I leave you all with this, in the end:

Notes from the Survey

Statistics Stuff:

The top ships were taken from AO3, so some ships may be more focused on in other books and may not provide accurate statistics for an earlier series.

The main circles this was sent around may have had bias as most people are from the same discord server, which has debated these topics in the past. Hence certain ships may have lower-than-average results. In future, this could be improved upon by sending this to other servers and areas of the fandom.

Personal bias may be present in the analysis, though I have tried to minimise this in the more formal sections.

Observations and Notes from Me:

You guys really don’t like Darklina. Or you love it. Usually one or the other. Wow.

Be glad I didn’t talk about any of the cursed ships in this. The things I have seen... (:cowboi_eyes:)

I thought more people would rickroll me, ngl.

What Surprised You Guys:

Kaz/Inej/Jesper

A few of you guys saw some of those cursed ships, and that surprised you. Well, me too!

Nikolai ships being in the TV Show section at all, what with his character not being in the show (yeah what was up with that huh tztz)

Inej/Alina

The existence of The Severed Moon

Darkling/Nikolai(/Alina)

How fun the quiz was :D

Things You Sent Me:

Bee Movie copypasta

“Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition!”, except via an AO3 link

A fun fact about enzymes! I liked this one

Fic recs for Feriku and Sarai (esp for Wylan/Jesper shippers)

Another rickroll

Nice compliments :) aww you guys

I asked everyone for some kind of placeholder name and never used it. Sorry! But hey, anonymity, right?

Closing Statements

If you got this far (I feel like ive been sitting here for hours), thanks for reading! This was fun to do and I hope you enjoyed all of this too! The survey is still open for anyone who hasn’t done it but wants to. If I get a huge amount of new responses, I might update this post! But for now, adios!

-mod emily (and mod fritz)

#grishaverse #fandom #shipping #shadow and bone #six of crows #nikolai series #king of scars #the grisha trilogy

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jojotichakorn · 3 years

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Don't take this the wrong way but I'm surprised you already posted memes about Light On Me and didn't criticize anything in it once.

kgjkdfjkgkldfjglkfd don't worry, i understand what you mean. i am probably this fandom's loudest critic, which is why interacting with bl content is like playing minesweeper for me at this point, because i keep stumbling upon people who have me blocked.

anyway, i don't think there's anything to criticize. there you go - shocker, right? archer is suddenly not petty OR annoying. /j but seriously, i just loved everything about it, and i don't think any questionable decisions were really that questionable.

are love triangles an overused and kinda stupid trope? yes. is it hella fun and engaging? also yes. listen, i grew up watching twilight, the hunger games, dawson's creek, reign, the vampire diaries, AND im an avid soap watcher. i'm sure you can guess what all these have in common. and the love triangle in light on me is probably the best executed one out of all i've seen.

i wasn't the biggest fan of so hee basically being martin from svha, except not hated by the narrative. but what she did was 110% depicted as wrong, and her storyline is a good lesson about how being obsessed with your crush and entitled about your feelings towards them is not normal, which they have shown very clearly.

don't take any of my little jabs at this drama seriously. like yeah, showing a poly relationship, or having so hee be aroace, or anything more queer would have been great, but that's because things being more queer is always great. except that's basically an eternal pool of wants and wishes because believe me not a single fucking media that exists out there is even remotely as queer as it could be, except for maybe like a few podcasts. and this is a drama from south korea - just a few years ago, they literally only had ONE drama with gay main characters. ONE. they are moving with lightning speed considering the fact that dramas like lom are discussing coming out and bullying of queer kids and saying the word gay out loud. this is fucking HUGE.

people might not realize it because of how much i complain (and in how many words), but i literally have never in my life asked for anything more than the bare minimum, and i'm always the first to praise any sort of progress. my two biggest points of criticism of anything ever are always non-consensual shit and awful fucking parents that aren't held accountable for how awful they are. and i don't think the presence of consent and the lack of constant excusing of abusive parents is too much to ask.

like i'm the last person to sit here and hold queer media to unreasonably high standards, because that's a huge fucking mistake and i don't ever want to make it. so yes everybody, LIGHT ON ME IS GOOD. and it's not just good, it's a good high school queer korean drama. i'm glad it exists, thank u very much.

#archer responds #anon

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schrijverr · 3 years

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'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 7 out of 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: mentions of grief

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 7: Betony Means ‘Surprise’

Alex and Thomas had gone on two more dates together when April rolled around. Nothing had been made official yet, but the kisses had become more heated, their text messages more familiar, with Thomas staying over after movie nights.

However, Alex now had a problem.

He stopped Angelica as she exited her office: “Hey, Angelica, Angie, one of my favorite sisters, how are you?”

“What do you need, Alex?” he wasn’t all that subtle and she saw right through him.

“I am having a minor crisis and I need you to tell me what to do, but I can’t have Thomas overhear. Can we please go into your office?” he pleaded.

“Having love life issues?” her eyes lit up and he felt a small betrayal at her glee about his crisis, but he was also just happy she was listening.

“Yes,” he sighed, “Can we go now?”

“Of course,” she opened the door and ushered him in, asking, “So, what’s up? Tell me everything.”

“Did you know Thomas’s birthday is the 13th??” he whisper yelled at her.

“Yeah, I’ve been friends with him for a while, it’s always been that date,” Angelica shouldn’t sound so amused in Alex’s not so humble opinion.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I don’t know what you’re so upset about, Thomas has been the birthday boy before, ‘Lexi.” she teased him.

“Yeah, but when he was the birthday boy before,we weren’t in this weird limbo where we’re not dating dating, but it’s also not friendship and when it was my birthday we were just beginning to be friends, so I have no clue what he’ll expect from me and I’m really freaking out and you need to help me. Now. Preferably.”

Apparently the panic in his eyes was enough for Angelica to drop the teasing and say: “Hey, no reason to stress, take a breath for a moment,” Alex did so, “Good. So, what is the main stressor right now?”

“I can fulfill expectations except I do not know what the expectations are and I will mess up,” Alex told her.

“That’s valid, but you’re also a dumbass,” this is why he loved Angelica, just because she knew him well enough to call him out on his bullshit, even if the bullshit was coming from his own brain.

“Just tell me what to do,” Alex said tiredly, he had been stressing so much about this that he just wanted to give up at this point.

“Well, me and Thomas are friends, you know this, but his birthday- let’s say he’s not big on it and I never really mentioned it to him, so I don’t really know.”

“Then what-”

She cut him off: “But, he and James are much closer. You can ask him.”

“I don’t want to ask him.”

“Why not, don’t be whiny about this.”

“Because it’s embarrassing,” Alex most definitely whined.

“Then you just have to suck it up or keep stressing,” Angelica shrugged.

Alex bit his lip as he thought about it. He and James had worked together on a project, before James moved to a different branch. It was around the time John had died and Alex wasn’t a pleasant person back then, so when Thomas came back they had definitively grown apart. Alex hadn’t talked to James in forever.

But he also wanted to be a good maybe-boyfriend to Thomas and he didn’t want to disappoint or hurt the other man when it had been going so well so far.

He sighed: “Do you know where his office is?”

Angelica smiled and told him, before giving him a cookie from the jar she had on her desk, because she was ‘a grown woman who could do whatever she wanted, you judgmental asshole.’

“I’ll be off then.”

“Good luck, ‘Lexi,” Angelica waved cheerily as she went the other way to the printer room, while Alex felt as if he approached the doors of the Hell even though it was just the lift.

Getting off two floors below, he walked over to James’ office and knocked, waiting for a beat until the other called out: “Come in.”

He slowly opened the door and in the most awkward way possible he greeted: “Heeey.”

“Alexander, what a pleasant surprise,” he wasn’t sure how much James meant that, but he was hoping for sincerity.

“Yeah, good to see you too, it’s been a while, sorry. I, uhm, I’m not that good with keeping up with people,” he said, before adding, “Especially back then, sorry for that.”

James looked him over carefully, then said: “I understand. You must forgive him, but Thomas gave me some context.”

“Ah, yeah, well, can’t say I didn’t do the same,” Alex replied, “Though, I should have reached out again after I processed a bit more, I kinda took it out on you and that wasn’t okay.”

“No, it wasn’t,” James acknowledged, then the subject was apparently done in his eyes, since he swiftly moved on: “I suppose you have a reason for coming here now.”

“Yeah, can I come in?”

James gestured for him to enter so he closed the door behind him and sat down in one of the chairs across from James as he began: “Now, I know this is not your thing, but I need your advise about something.”

“Is it about Thomas?” James stopped him before he could continue.

“It’s about Thomas,” Alex confirmed.

“What stupid thing are you planning now?” James asked with a sigh.

“Nothing,” James didn’t believe him, so he went on, “Well, nothing yet. It’s- His birthday is coming up – I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you know that – but it’s coming up and I don’t know if I should do something or if he wants to be left alone, just- what are the expectations? Do you know what Thomas expects? From me.”

James paused at the word vomit and mulled over his words, before asking: “You really care about this, don’t you?”

“Yeah, it’s- it’s been really good and I don’t wanna mess it up,” Alex said, he decided to put all cards on the table in the hope that James would see he was honest and help him not fuck up the best thing that had happened to him since Philip was born.

“Hmm,” James hummed thoughtfully for a moment, then slowly and carefully he began, “Thomas does not like his birthday, he’s not a party man. He usually lets the date go by uncelebrated, so that’s something to keep in mind.”

“Okay, okay,” Alex nodded, “Is there anything I could do? Like, would he appreciate me showing up with take out and a movie or something? Like as a surprise? Is that something he would like?”

“I’m sorry, aren’tyou the one texting him every single day?” James said, “I have to listen to Thomas talk about you so much, I almost feel like I know you too well for the amount of interactions we’ve had and you really think me – the aroace – is the one to go for for dating advice?”

“Why is this so hard,” Alex groaned, “Ugh.”

James raised a brow at this.

“You weren’t the first I asked,” Alex told him, “I asked Angelica and she said to go to you. SoI hoped that you, as Thomas’s best friend, would be willing to help little old me.”

After a beat James said: “I think he would appreciate it, but bring a gift as well.”

“Thanks, you’re literally the best. What-”

“No, I’m not giving you gift ideas,” James cut him off, “Thomas is hard enough to buy something for and I came up with one idea and you’re not getting it.”

Alex chuckled at that, deciding that James had done enough for him to stop harassing the man about his own relationship issues. He smiled: “Alright, I’ll go now. Again, thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” James called out to him as he left and Alex did a small lazy salute to him as he left the office feeling a bit better about how to go about it.

As he walked back to his office he mentally made a plan of action, nodding satisfied to himself as he did. It felt good to know what the game was, so that he could find a way to play. Knowing his surroundings had always given him comfort.

It was Wednesday and Laf was picking Philip up from school, claiming the babysitters spot after saying that he hadn’t seen his favorite neveuin forever. This worked in Alex’s favor.

He was let up into the apartment and was immediately greeted by Philip, jumping into his arms as he rambled about cars and a monster and French.

Alex listened and waited until he was done talking, before saying: “Wow, that sounds very cool, buddy. Seems you had a productive afternoon. How was school? Learn anything fun?”

“We talked about shapes!” Philip told him, before explaining why a square was a rectangle, but a rectangle not always a square, “Isn’t that super mega cool?”

“That is super mega cool, buddy,” Alex agreed.

Before he could say more, Laf interrupted: “Wow, just ignored in my own home, I feel personally attacked, mon ami.”

“Ah, sorry,” Alex was the only one of his friends with kids, of course Eliza and Maria had the orphanage, but it wasn’t the same. It was supposed to be him and John together, but now he was mostly on his own and he still felt awkward about it sometimes, like he was too young and had made a mistake, even though Philip was the best thing in his life and completely planned.

“Don’t worry about it, it was a joke,” Laf smiled, easing his anxiety slightly.

Alex smiled back, then asked Philip: “Have you been nice for your Uncle Laf? Didn’t tear the place down, I hope.”

Philip shook his head: “I was very good.”

“We’ll see,” Alex winked, before raised a questioning brow at Laf.

“Mon petit neveustill takes after his best Uncle and is an absolute star,” he said, “You did well with him Alex.”

“Good to hear,” Alex replied, ruffling Philip’s hair, “Maybe you’ll get an extra story tonight, buddy. You can play a little more now, I have to ask your Uncle Laf something for a moment, okay?”

At that Philip cheered as he raced off to his cars, dropping to his knees and getting immersed in his little world once more.

Alex followed him with fond eyes, before Lafayette said: “So, have to ask Uncle Laf something, I am curious.”

“Ah, yeah, uhm, don’t tease me, okay?”

“You’re onlymaking me more curious, Alexandre. What is it?”

“I don’t know what to get Thomas for his birthday.”

Lafayette gasped and jumped a bit, grin splitting his face: “I will help you find the perfect gift!”

“Really?” Alex was relieved, “Thank you so much.”

“It’s not problem, I need this sort of entertainment in my life,” Laf clapped him on the back, “So, what is the vibe?”

“Well, I’m planning to come over to his house with take out and just watching a movie together,” Alex explained, “James said he’s not big on huge birthday parties and we’re not dating dating so I don’t want to make it too big of a deal, but still a deal, if that makes sense?”

“Good insight, I once threw him a huge birthday party and he did not appreciate it.”

“Oof.”

“Yeah, it happens, mon ami, not everyone can see my great party planning skills for what they’re worth,” Laf lamented, “But a gift, he likes books, poetry, music – especially classics – and, uhm, fashion, but I don’t think you’re the man for that.”

“I would protest that, because he literally wears magenta suits, but he also said that I dress – and I quote – ‘like the pits of fashion,’ so he would agree more with you in that,” Alex shrugged.

“Good,” Lafayette nodded, “Now, music, I don’t know how much you overlap in music, so maybe stay out of that one unless you’re sure, so that leaves books and poetry, which you have a lot in common in, so maybe do that.”

Alex nodded, but couldn't say anything before Laf gasped: “Buy him love poetry.”

“That’s kinda corny don’t you think?”Alex asked.

Lafayette thought of that one time Thomas had told him Martha had written him a love song and he had cried, before he shook his head: “No, Thomas loves corny, it’s a good gift.”

“Okay, thank you, you are my knight in shining armor,” Alex told him.

“Live to please,” Lafayette winked, “Hey, do you and Pip want to stay over for dinner, I feel like we hardly get to talk with all the adult responsibilities.”

“Yeah sure, that sounds great actually, though it’s not my fault you’re in France most of the time,” Alex ribbed him slightly.

“Oh please, you would too if you had a real job.”

“How dare you,” they fell into familiar squabbling grown out of many years as young drunk college students making bad choices together.

As they wined and dined Alex mulled over Lafayette’s suggestion. It was a good suggestion, but Alex worried it might be too much, but then again he wasn’t doing much organization-wise, so maybe it would just have to be the gift that was a bit more.

He did want to show up as a surprise, but he didn’t want to be too unexpected or make it seem like he had forgotten or something.

While the night progressed, the idea became more solid in his head and by the time he was tucking Philip in, he knew what he was going to do.

By the time the 13thof April arrived Alex was kinda nervous as he came into the office. He put his stuff down in his office and took a deep breath before going to the break room to make two cups of coffee and wait at Thomas’s office.

He had timed it pretty well and not a minute later Thomas came sauntering over to his office, stopping when he saw Alex. Alex attempted a wave, but was stopped by his full hands, so he just said: “Uhm, happy birthday.”

Thomas blinked for a moment, the smiled and shook his head: “You didn’t have to do that, but thanks.”

“I know you don’t like to celebrate, so I didn’t want to do anything big, but I did want to do something, it would feel weird to just let it go by, so uhm, here,” he held out the flowers he had with him and the coffee, “I checked your office vase yesterday and there was nothing, so I hope that’s still the case.”

“It is. Thank you, they’re beautiful,” Thomas took the purple flowers, “What are they?”

“They’re betonies,” Alex replied, knowing why Thomas was asking. They had been doing this thing with flowers for a while now, both trying to find flowers that suited the occasion or the other person, which was why he had picked them.

“I love them,” Thomas smiled, opening his office and asking, “Wanna drink this coffee in my office before we start?”

“Hell yeah.”

They drank they coffee talking about nothing and everything as they started up slowly. Before Alex and Thomas starting drinking coffee in the morning, Alex would rush through drinking his coffee to get to his office as fast as he could, but he was starting to see the joys of taking his time in the morning.

Thomas loved how he got Alex to calm down a bit. He loved the other’s ambitions and quick wit along with his concentrated face when he was typing a mile a minute, but this more mellow version of Alex was also nice to witness from time to time.

After a whileAlex finally stood up, stretching as he said: “Alright, I should probably go to work now. See you at lunch? I’m buying.”

“I’m not saying no to free food. See ya, then,” Thomas waved as Alex left.

Whenthe door hadclosed, he got out his phone and quickly Googled the meaning of betonies. Frowning when he saw that they meant surprise, was it because the flowers were a surprise or because Alex had something else up his sleeve?

He started on his work as he mulled over the possibilities.

An hour into the day, Angelica knocked on his door and came in with a smile: “Hi, birthday boy, you feeling old yet?”

“And hello to you too, Angie,” Thomas deadpanned.

“Ahw, come on, Tommy, it’s all in good faith,” she smirked, entering his office and handing him a card.

With slight apprehension he took the card and sighed when he saw that it was a black and white picture of an old lady on a skateboard that read ‘OLD BUT STILL COOL!’ He looked at it then up to Angelica tiredly: “Why are you like this?”

“You love it,” she grinned, then added: “Old man.”

“Just because you’re two years younger, doesn’t mean you’re funny,” he told her, “I’m not even forty yet, so fuck off.”

“Well, you live in your world, I’ll live in mine,” she turned and commented, “Nice flowers.”

Thomas blushed and mumbled: “Yeah, Alex got them for me.”

“Ahw, how sweet,” Angelica cooed, “You two are so cute. If I wasn’t so glad being single, I would be jealous.”

“Shut up.”

“Are you blushing?”

“I don’t like how much it sounds like you’re enjoying my pain, Angelica,” he said, “And since it’s my birthday, you’re not allowed to.”

Angelica laughed: “What are you? Five?”

“No, according to this card I’m fifty, thanks for that.”

“You’re not actually hurt, are you, Tommy?”

“Give me a cookie from your cookie stash and I won’t be.”

“Come on, you big loser, it’s coffee break time anyway.”

He happily got up and followed her out of his office to hers, going back to hang out in the break room for a moment afterwards and catch up on life.

Lunch came around and Alex got a small cupcake, which he gave to him with a shrug: “I wanted to put a candle in there, but fire safety AKA Washington, was lame andwouldn’t allow it.”

“Life happens,” Thomas grinned, picturing Alex whining while Washington refused to let him burn the office down by accident.

“Yeah, it does,” Alex grinned back, “Okay day so far?”

Thomas nodded: “Yeah, got a cookie from Angie and been enjoying my flowers.”

“Glad you like them,” and then Alex gave him a mysterious smirk that Thomas couldn't decipher and he wanted to ask what it was about, but he also wanted to figure it out on his own. So, instead he asked about Alex’s work and let the conversation flow easily between them.

When Alex left to go back to work, he planted a peck on Thomas’s forehead then his nose when he saw the blush, commenting that it was still cute, which didn’t help the blush at all.

With Alex’s departure, he was thinking about the flowers again and he had no clue what to think.

He was still intently staring at them when James entered his office. His friend had already called him in the morning, but had come to congratulate him in person as well: “Thomas, congrats on being thirty-eight, almost not a youngling anymore.”

“Ugh, are you and Angelica teaming up?” Thomas asked, “I swear the only whose been nice about the whole age thing is Alex and that’s just cause he wants to be nice on my birthday, he’ll join you tomorrow, probably.”

“You’re being dramatic, Thomas,” James told him, no pity there, “Ah, flowers, how lovely.”

Aha, he could ask James what he thought they meant. He smiled: “They are. They’re betonies, they mean surprise, what do you think he meant with that?”

“I think he thought: ‘Oh purple, Thomas likes purple, these flowers are pretty, I’ll get them,’” James informed him.

“That’s not what he sounds like,” Thomas protested.

“It’s kind of what he sounds like, with the run on sentences. I swear that man doesn’t know a dot when it hits him in the face,” James complained.

“I always forget you two worked together,” Thomas mused, “Anyway, not the point. The point is that the flowers mean surprise and I need to know why.”

“And I already told you.”

“You’re missing the point, Jemmy. Me and Alex do this thing with the flowers,” Thomas explained, “He asked me out with cornflowers, it was fucking cute, alright. The flowers mean surprise for a reason and I need to figure it out. It’s probably a clue.”

“I think you’re blowing this out of proportion,” James said, twisting his handkerchief around his fingers.

“Oh- you- the- I think you’re lying.”

“What?”

“You’re twisting the handkerchief, you do that when you’re lying,” Thomas accused, “You know something.”

“No, I don’t and I don’t twist my handkerchief when I’m lying,” James protested.

“Yes, you do. You did it when Laf threw me the surprise party- oh God, he’s not throwing me a surprise party is he?”

“He’s not, Thomas, calm down.”

“So you do know something?”

“I can’t believe I’m still friends with you,” James avoided the question.

“I can,” Thomas replied, “Now, tell me what you know.”

James sighed and rubbed his forehead: “I’m not telling you anything.”

“Why not, Jemmy, please,” Thomas whined.

“Because the flowers mean surprise,” James told him bluntly, “I thought you were big on their meaning.”

“You’re so mean to me, Jemmy.”

“And you mostly deserve it,” James said, “Now, have your sisters called you, yet? Or your mom?”

“Yeah, I missed Ma and Mary, I think Jane just left a message though. Why can’t they send a text like Randy, that’s at leasteasy.”

“Oh, jikes.”

“I know, I’m gonna hear about that,” Thomas sighed, “But I don’t want to talk to them yet, because this thing with Alex is just really starting and I don’t want them nosing around – and I know they will – and I just don’t want them to ruin it. You know I can’t keep my mouth shut around them.”

“You’re going to have to tell them eventually,” James said kindly.

“I know, I know, but I want to at least know how to describe Alex when I finally do,” Thomas sighed.

James gave him a look: “You can talk to Alex about it.”

Thomas hid under his arms: “Yeah, but that’s scary, cause what if he doesn’t like me that much? What if he thinks it’s too fast?”

“Thomas, you’ve been on four, in your words, amazing dates, you’ve seen him cry in front of his late husband’s grave, you cried in his arms, I don’t think it’s too fast,” James said, “Now, I know, I might not have the best grip on this, but from what I heard from him, you’re good.”

“You talked to him? What did he say?”

“He said it was really good,” James decided it couldn't hurt to boost Thomas’s confidence, “Look, you don’t have to talk about it today or anything, but you’re going to at some point. I think you both want this, so go for it.”

“I hate it when you’re right,” Thomas whined.

“Then you hate me most of the time,” James smirked.

“I hate you.”

“You just said.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’d rather you don’t.”

“James, you assh- you know what? Never mind, that one never gets old.”

“Thank you, I try.”

Thomas stretched, popping his back, before making a face: “God, soon these old man comments are going to be true.”

James just laughed at his pain, then they chatted a bit more, before James bid him farewell and told him to enjoy the rest of his birthday. Thomas rolled his eyes at that, he was just going to sit on his couch with wine or something, James knew that.

He finished up his work early and said goodbye to Alex, who was still typing away on his laptop. He waved back absentmindedly, hair in a messy bun as he mouthed some words. The picture made Thomas pause, smiling softly.

At home, he kicked off his shoes and got dressed in black sweat pants and a tank top. He stopped at the picture of Martha on his bedside table. It was his favorite picture of her, she was wearing a yellow sundress and sitting in a field under a tree, holding her guitar and smiling.

He smiled at it and whispered: “I wish you could see me now, sweetheart. You’d be so proud of me.”

The picture stayed silent, but it’s presence was still comforting, so Thomas picked it up and looked at it for a moment.

Then he went downstairs and put on some classical music with a book, determined to enjoy his birthday surrounded by soft pillows.

His stomach started rumbling about an hour later, but before he could do something about it, his phone started ringing. Glancing at the contact, he saw it was Lafayette. He knew he couldn't just ignore the man, because he would show up at his door, so he picked up: “Hi, Laf.”

“Mon ami, bonjour, bonjour,” Lafayette greeted him excitedly, “Bon anniversaire! How are you on this fine day?”

“Yeah, yeah, you know, the usual,” Thomas said, “Though, Alex got me flowers, that was nice.”

“Ahw, you two are so attachante, I love you two,” Laf cooed.

Thomas just rolled his eyes at the Frenchman’s antics, he had long since gotten used to the unlimited amount of energy he seemed to have. He asked: “So, how has your day been?”

“Ugh, you would not believe, Tommy, what I’ve been through, okay,” Lafayette began, “Sometimes a day is ruined as it starts – it was a day like that. Woke up late, big line at Starbucks, didn’t have oat milk for my latte, was late at work, security were having issues and that was before I had even gotten to my office.”

“Sounds awful, Laf,” Thomas was happy to let Lafayette ramble, he liked listening to others with little expectations of his own involvement in the conversation.

“I know, right?” Lafayette agreed, “So, I get to my desk and I rememberedI left it a mess yesterday. Granted, this was my own fault, but it was another thing that just bogs you down, you know. Anyway, I get to organizing my desk then Janice came up to me.”

“Racist, homophobic Senator Janice?”

“Yes, her, the fucking bitch. And I was feeling myself, I was having my highlighter moment, got these cute dangling earrings in.”

“The ones Eliza got for you? With the little crystals?”

“Yeah, I love them – I should thank her for those again, hmm – anyway, Janice starts going off about them, like she’s not dressed like a Walmart clearance rack. Which, nothing wrong with that, but don’t come after my moment.”

Thomas just hummed, confirming he was still listening.

“I wasn’t having this, but before I could level her to the ground, Nyke saves me from slapping a Senator. I appreciate them so much, the only valid person in the entire White House, I will swear by that.”

That got a huff out of Thomas, who asked: “Not the President, but your intern?”

“Obviously, at least Nyke knows how to dress,” Laf replied, “Ugh, they were wearing a corset by the way and I am really tempted, but I’m not sure. What do you think?”

“I mean, if you want to. Why not?” Thomas shrugged, “It seems like something you could pull off. I don’t know, yolo or something?”

“Did you just say yolo?” there was a weird sort of glee and upset in Lafayette’s voice.

“Yeah, not cool anymore?”

“Not- not cool? Honey that hasn’t been cool in years.”

“It started ironic, okay.”

Lafayette cackled: “God, I know you were becoming old today, but hot damn.”

“Not you too,” Thomas whined.

“Not the first?” Lafayette asked, glee not at all hidden.

“No, James and Angie are mean to me and at this point I’m just waiting for Alex to join, but I think he’s waiting until my actual birthday is over in an attempt to be nice,” Thomas lamented.

“You know him so well.”

“I hate you.”

“Live to please.”

“Can we go back to Janice and Nyke?” Thomas pleaded.

“Of course!” Laf’s cheery voice came through the phone, “So, Nyke saved me from beating a bitch up, we drank coffee together – love having interns, it’s great – boring meetings blah, blah, blah.”

“I love that you describe your important job in the government as ‘blah, blah, blah.’”

“We all have our talents, mon ami.”

“Yeah, mine are getting insulted for being old. I’m not even forty yet, okay, I’m not that old. They’re only a few years younger than me, the assholes. I mean, Alex is thirty-three, he has no rights.”

“He hasn’t even started to, Thomas.”

“But he’s going to,” Thomas moped.

“I mean, true.”

“I hate it here.”

“It can’t have been that bad, tell me something good from today,”

“Well, Alex got me flowers, betonies, actually,” Thomas told him, “They mean surprise, know anything about that?”

“Non,” Laf was lying, Thomas knew it, but didn’t push, “Anything else fun?”

“Angie and James coming by was nice and lunch with Alex was nice too. He got me a muffin and complained Washington wouldn’t let him light a candle within the office,” Thomas smiled, “He’s a little menace.”

“Yes, he is, gave that to another scélérat.”

“Is the scoundrel in question perhaps Philip?”

“Indeed, I hear you’ve been upgraded to Uncle Thomas?” there was a bit of teasing in Lafayette’s voice, but also pride.

Thomas blushed and said: “Yeah, who said? It has to be someone from the movie night you weren’t at. Was it Alex? Or Angie?”

“Oh, non, it was mon petitPip, himself, grand tales of his bestest Uncle Thomas,” Laf most definitely teasing with that, but Thomas just blushed heavier, happy that the kid liked him so much, which had been an insecurity when he and Alex had started.

“When did you speak with him? He doing alright?”

“I would say that you get to see him more often than me, but I have him here,” Lafayette informed him, “We’re watching Beauty and the Beasttonight.”

“What? Where’s Alex?”

“Rude, I can spend time with mon neveu, Thomas,” Lafayette said.

“Lafayette, it’s almost 18:30, if Alex’s still at work I have to go drag him away from his laptop,” Thomas explained, “He should be picking Philip up by now, by a while ago, actually.”

“Non, of course not, me and Pip are having a sleepover,” Laf turned the phone away and Thomas could hear him yell: “Pip, you’re having a sleepover with your favorite Uncle, aren’t you?”

There was a faint, inaudible reply, before Laf returned to the phone and grumbled: “Thomas, you need to upgrade yourself to dad soon, I’m loosing my status.”

“What?” Thomas chocked.

“Nothing,” Laf breezed on, “My point is Alex knows where Pip is and it’s all good.”

“Then he could still be at the office, I should call him,” Thomas worried.

“No, of course not, he’s- uhm,” Laf was searching for words when the doorbell rang.

Thomas looked up and frowned, he wasn’t expecting company and he hadn’t ordered anything yet either. He told Laf: “Sorry, one sec. There’s someone at the door.”

“Oh, that’s my cue to go,” Laf sounded relieved at that. His nonsense babbling supply had run dry by now.

“What?”

“You’ll see,” and with that mysterious message, Lafayette hung up.

Thomas shook his head, before going to the front door, thinking of who the fuck it could be. When he saw the person through the window, it all clicked and he wanted to facepalm for it being so obvious.

He opened the door: “Hey, darlin’.”

Alex was dressed casually with a bag of take out in his one hand, a small present in the other. He smiled nervously: “Uhm, surprise.”

~~~~~~~~

A/N:

Disclaimer: aroace people can give good relationship advise, be in relationships if they so wish and I do not want to invalidate anyone, so sorry if it came across like that. I’m just picturing James as an aroace who doesn’t date and doesn’t want to and is tired of everyone’s allo shit.

I love James as a character, but it’s hard to get him in with so many moving parts and people, so sorry for his small role so far. I’ll see what I can do.

This actually goes for all the characters, I want to give them all the attention they deserve, but keeping the story going is also important, so balance ahhh

#RR writing #tw: grief mention #Hamilton #Hamilton AU #Alexander Hamilton #Thomas Jefferson #Angelica Schuyler #James Maddison #Lafayette #Marquis de Lafayette #Philip Hamilton #Jamilton #'Till Death Do Us Part #'Till Death Do Us Part Part 7 #'Till Death Do Us Part AU

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theradioghost · 5 years

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I don't know if you're still doing podcast recs, but if you are, I really like dramas, horror, sci-fi, honestly anything that gives you the feels (especially if it has lgbtq+ rep). I am not much of a comedy person though unfortunately. The only podcast I finished was tma and I really loved it.

The recommendations are always on tap here, whenever my askbox is open! You might wanna check out:

Archive 81, for a found-footage horror about mysterious archives of tapes full of encounters with otherworldly horror, dark rituals, cults, and a long-suffering archivist with the same name as the show creator who plays him, which despite all that could not possibly be more different from TMA and yet easily matches it as one of the best horror stories I have ever enjoyed. The sound design on this show is basically unparalleled – where TMA has fairly minimalist sound design, A81 goes all out. Quite a few lgbtqa+ folk also.

I Am In Eskew, for a surreal, Lynchian horror about the city of Eskew, where it’s always raining and the streets are never the same twice, as narrated by a man who is trapped there and the woman hired to find him. Take the most viscerally disturbing episodes of TMA as a baseline for how intense this show is, then imagine the Spiral built a city and invited all the other fears over for a party. Also right up there as one of my favorite horror things ever, and recently ended, so you can listen to the whole thing right now.

Within The Wires, for a found-footage scifi dystopia, telling stories from an alternate-history world. Three of the four seasons focus on lgbtqa+ leads, and the first season, a set of instructional meditation tapes provided to a prisoner in a shadowy government institution, is still some of my absolute favorite creative use of medium and framing device ever.

Kane and Feels, for a surreal noir-flavored urban fantasy/horror hybrid, about a magically-inclined academic (and sarcastic little bastard man) named Lucifer Kane and his demon-punching partner with a heart of gold, Brutus Feels. They share a flat in London, they bicker like an old married couple, and they fight supernatural evil. This show WILL confuse the hell out of you and you will enjoy every second of it.

Alice Isn’t Dead, for a weird Americana horror story about a long-distance truck driver, criss-crossing the US in search of her missing wife. Along the way she discovers that both of them have been drawn into a dangerous secret war that seethes in the empty and abandoned expanses of America, and that inhuman hunters have begun to follow her. Also finished! And as the title kind of gives away, the lesbians do not die!

Janus Descending, for a sci-fi horror miniseries about two scientists sent to survey the remains of a dead alien civilization on a distant planet, only to learn all too well why the original inhabitants have disappeared. You hear one character’s story in chronological order and the other in reverse, with their perspectives alternating, which is done in an incredibly clever way so that even technically knowing what will happen it still holds you in suspense right to the end. Also, it made me cry, a lot.

SAYER, for a sci-fi horror with a touch of dark comedy, and probably the single best use of the “evil AI” trope I have ever seen. Tells the story of employees of tech corporation Aerolith Dynamics living on Earth’s artificial second moon, Typhon, in the form of messages from their AI overseer SAYER. The first season is great, the second season is okay, and the third and fourth seasons are fucking amazing.

Tides, for a really interesting sci-fi about a lone biologist trapped on an alien world shaped by deadly tidal forces. It’s different from just about any other sci-fi I know, focusing more on the main character’s interactions with and observations of this strange new world, where she’s very aware that she is the alien invader. (Also I don’t think any of the characters are straight.)

Station to Station, for a thrilling sci-fi mystery where a group of scientists and spies on a research ship (the ocean kind) discover that the time-warping anomaly they’re studying might be causing people to vanish from existence. Corporate espionage and high-stakes heartbreak abound. (And once again I’m not sure anyone is straight.)

The Strange Case of Starship Iris, for Being Gay And Doing Crime IN SPACE! Or, decades after a war with an alien species leaves humanity decimated and under the control of totalitarian leaders, the lone survivor of a research mission joins up with a ragtag crew of rebels and smugglers to figure out why the very government she worked for tried to kill her, and to stop them from inciting a second war. 100% lgbtqa+ found family in space heist action and it’s glorious in every way.

Unwell, for the horror-ish Midwestern gothic story of a young woman who returns to her hometown to help her estranged mother after an injury, and discovers that there is something just a little bit wrong, not just with her mother, but with her mother’s house, and with the whole town. Subtle and creepy. The protagonist is a biracial lesbian, one of the other major characters is nonbinary, the cast in general is super diverse.

The Blood Crow Stories, for an lgbtqa+ focused horror anthology! The four seasons so far have been the stories of an ancient evil stalking the passengers of a WWI-era utopian cruise ship, a dark Western mystery about a group of allies trying to stop the mysterious killer known only as the Savior, a 911 operator in a cyberpunk dystopia who starts getting terrifying phone calls from demons, and strange and deadly goings-on at a film studio in the golden age of Hollywood. Everyone is Very Gay and anyone can die, especially in season 1.

The Tower, for a melancholy experimental miniseries about a young woman who decides she’s going to climb the mysterious Tower, from which no one has ever returned. Quite short and very, very good.

Palimpsest, for a creepy, heartbreakingly sad and yet incredibly beautiful anthology series. Season one is the story of a woman who suspects her new home is haunted, season two is a turn-of-the-century urban fantasy about a girl who falls in love with the imprisoned fae princess she’s been hired to care for, and season three is about a WWII codebreaker who begins seeing ghosts on the streets of London during the Blitz.

Mabel, for a part-horror, part-love story, the kind of faerie tale where you feel obliged to spell it with an E because these are the kind of faeries that are utterly inhuman, and beautiful, and dangerous. Anna, the new caretaker for an elderly woman, leaves messages for her client’s mysteriously absent granddaughter Mabel. An old house in Ireland has a life and desires of its own, few of them friendly. Two women fall in love and set out for vengeance against the King Under The Hill. Creepy, strange, and gorgeously poetic.

Ars Paradoxica, for a sci-fi time travel Cold War espionage thriller. Physicist Dr. Sally Grissom accidentally invents time travel, landing herself – and her invention – in the middle of a classified government experiment during WWII. As the course of history utterly changes around them, she and what friends she can find in this new time must struggle with the ethics of what they’ve done, and the choices they’ll have to make. An aroace protagonist, Black secret agents, time-traveling Latina assassins, Jewish lesbian mathematicians, two men of color whose love changes the course of time itself, this show says a big fuck you to the idea that there’s anything hard about having a diverse cast in a period piece and it will break your heart, multiple times. Also finished!

The Far Meridian, for a genre-bending, poetic, at-times-heartwarming-at-times-heartbreaking story about an agoraphobic woman named Peri who decides to begin a search for her long-missing brother Ace after the lighthouse in which she lives begins mysteriously transporting to different places every day. I can never forget an early review that described this show as “the audio equivalent of a Van Gogh painting.” Suffice to say it is beautiful, and fantastically written and put together.

What’s the Frequency?, for a Surrealist noir horror mystery set in mid-20th-century LA. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I can really explain what goes on in this show, but it features a detective named Walter “Troubles” Mix and his partner Whitney searching for a missing writer. Meanwhile, the only thing that seems to be playing on the radio is that writer’s show Love, Honor, and Decay, which also seems to be driving people to murder. Fantastically weird, deliciously creepy.

Directive, for a short sci-fi miniseries about a man hired to spend a very, very long trip through space alone, which doesn’t seem all that sad until suddenly it hits you with Every Feel You’ve Ever Had, seriously I don’t want to spoil it so I won’t say anything more but listen to this and then never feel the same way about Tuesdays again.

Wolf 359, for honestly one of the best podcasts out there, containing all of the drama and feels, seriously this show ended over two years ago and I still cry literal tears thinking about it sometimes. It has definite comedic leanings, especially in the first season which reads a bit more like a wacky office comedy set in space, but it takes a sharp turn towards high stakes, action, and feelings and that roller coaster never stops. Take four clashing personalities alone on a constantly-malfunctioning space station eight light years from earth, add some mysterious transmissions from the depths of space, toss in some seriously Jonah-Magnus-level manipulative evil bosses, and get ready to cry.

or, may I suggest Midnight Radio? It’s a lesbian-romance-slash-ghost-story completed miniseries about a late-night 1950s radio host in a small town who begins receiving mysterious letters from one of her listeners, and I have been assured by many people and occasionally their all-caps tweets that it provides ample Feelings! (also I wrote it.)

#holy fuck when did this answer get that long?#anyway I uh. hope at least one of these sounds good to you!#podcast recs #bobbie recommends things #Anonymous #asks #my posts

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 5 years

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hey so remember like last year when i was re-reading misadventures and fixing typos? (well, i say that, but it was just an excuse to re-read it and write some absolutely absurd commentary on it...) i found old notes in my phone from january with even more so guess i may as well post it because people seemed to find it funny at the time, it’s basically just The Misadventures of Aish Realizing Things though

[yeah so here’s the original notes i’m not even gonna change anything even though lots of Lore has happened in the show and we Know things now, you just get to see what january aish typed]

ok well let’s go then chapters 31-35 oh god

oh yeah the ML Blackout! I remember that

hm it’s occurring to me maaaaaybe I should post a bit of a warning on this chapter. like “yes this starts off stupid and cracky and fluffy but takes a complete 180 in the middle and you will end up sobbing.”

or maybe I should put that as a disclaimer on the whole fic cause it’s one hell of a ride

THE AROACE SCIENCE JOURNAL YESSSSSSS THAT COMES BACK LATER

yeah the reason why the early parts of this chapter are very lighthearted is honestly because the fic was getting a bit too bleak, I needed something cheerful, so paper planes and arm wrestles it was

wait... isn’t this just that scene from Anansi??? where like Nora challenges Nino to an arm wrestle but then he wins because Someone Else Nearby Did A Thing

also this is Peak characterization, damn Aish, you rly outdone yourself, congration

any time I drop the word “inkling” into a fic it is always 100% a splatoon reference

MAX WOW TONE DOWN THE GAY

heh... BI-ceps...

oh my godddd Max trying to play off his ogling as “ah yes I am scientifically studying Kim’s arm muscles ofc, it’s science I swear” is SO frickin funny I’m already losing it

Alix: “scientifically speaking I’m hot therefore you have to lose this arm wrestle” hshdhdghshskkjkdhshs

^literally the kind of nonsense every single teen I know spouts irl

including me when I was a teen, I just said things

(I still just say things)

you can’t bring up the sports bra thing goddammit, I agree it’s cheating because it has the power to one-hit kill anyone in the vicinity

I love how Max thinks his crush on Kim is “under control” while like. visibly swooning over him

OH MY GOD THE PILLOWS SHHDJDHDHDHSKHS

OKAY SO LIKE I was supposed to put the thing about Kim snogging a pillow in chapter 20 but I forgot or something and then I just had to get it in somehow, oh it kills me dead just thinking about it, I’m dying, I’m dead

and the fact that he admits to it as well, holy moly

KIM

K I M

THAT’S GAY

OH WOW

this is the moment when Alix’s Kimax shipper heart was suddenly feeling validated like “omg wait Kim DOES like Max??? like for real??????”

awwwww Kim, Max doesn’t have those kind of superpowers, you just have a crush on him that’s all <3

THE SKATEBOARDING SNEK!!!!!!!!!!!!

“What the heck is that?” “My snake.” DYINGGGG

Kim trying to figure out if the snake is sitting or standing is a whole mood

ohhhhhhhh my gosh poor Alix trying so damn hard to subtly ask Kim if he likes Max and Kim’s just. so DUMB he doesn’t even get it no matter how obvious she is

she’s even trying to pull out those stupid amatonormative “so is he MORE than a friend???” questions just to get this idiot to figure it out because she knows allo-romos are Like That and he still doesn’t get it,,

[future aish says: the word is alloro, past aish. it’s alloro]

AND SO NOW SHE ASSUMES THEY’RE NOT INTO EACH OTHER BECAUSE SHE THINKS EVEN KIM CAN’T BE THAT STUPID

YOU UNDERESTIMATE HIS STUPIDITY

oh no... oh NO.... the letter.... here we go....

btw yes Gabriel had Kim’s grandad assassinated, it was indeed his doing

...isn’t this lowkey the plot of The Lion King?

or Long Live The Queen

hmmm let’s just say in the sequel poor Kim really will have to deal with the stresses of ruling a country >:D

NO MY POOR SON HAVING A BREAKDOWN, I WANT TO HUG HIM

(also can I just say like... this chapter is actually well-written for the most part? I’m actually kinda impressed)

unfortunately I know the feeling of wanting, needing to return home, but it fills you with dread... *hugs Kim forever*

Kim crying all over Max both hurts me and sort of heals me because Max is so sweet and comforting about it ohhh my heeeaaart

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

THIS IS LOWKEY A LOVE CONFESSION I SWEAR, IT’S SO CUTE

chapter 32 being called “Un chat noir” is kinda dumb af but also it just so happened that I accidentally had the chapter called “Coccinelle” be chapter 64, aka exactly double of 32, so that was kinda neat

Plagggggg!!!!!!!!!!

and Wayhem lol, I think I’ve already mentioned how originally this noble was just some random irrelevant unnamed OC until I decided way later it’s gay stalker fanboy

oh yeah that’s how the nobility recognize the royalty, I forgot lol

(also nobles from countries with widespread newspress or tv will recognize them from news reports and stuff I guess)

the fact that Plagg just hates Wayhem is funny to me for some reason

MISADVENTURES

HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY THREW IN THE ACTUAL WORD

except it was in reference to Adrien... let’s just say that The Misadventures of Imperial Prince Adrien may or may not make an appearance in the sequel >:D

...the Adrienette is literally just in this fic so that people would read it, ngl

hhhhhhhhhhhh okay it’s true Alix is an aro idiot who doesn’t know anything about romance but for once she’s RIGHT, Kim IS in love with Max, but she assumes she’s wrong hshgshdjhdnsnsh

oh my god noooo timeline twin go away and stop giving me nightmares

I still love how they hate each other, that’s some top-notch self-hatred right there and I need to get on their level

[future aish note: no past self!! be nice to yourself!! you are a cool bean!! own it!!]

YOU FOOL... EVERY CLASSMATE WOULD TAKE A SWORD TO THE HAND FOR ALIX, WHY WOULDN’T THEY

ỳïķèš,,,

honestly I probably should stop being lazy and actually go back to like idk chapter 8 and put in an actual monopoly game (it had to have been before the oracle sessions in ch10 at least)

fun fact!! I have indeed very nearly had a fist fight over the last dark blue card in a monopoly game!! also I blatantly cheated, and the main opponent locked someone else (an 8 year old btw) in a cupboard... it was Wild(TM)

me and my irl friend actually came up with the butterfly thing when we were at the cinema once, she made up this random angry gardener OC who stepped on a butterfly after being fired or something lol

I mentioned Rose liking unicorns!!!! before Captain Hardrock!!!!!!!

shdhdhkshs Alix is such a moody emo brat in this fic I adore it

“The only real difference between you and me is one dead butterfly.” goddammit that’s the creepiest fucking thing, I’m genuinely shaking

technically it’s a butterfly’s fault for ALL the timelines which means that we’re all one butterfly away from death at any moment

cheerful stuff

no, no, you’re not trying to block it out on purpose... I’M trying to block it out on purpose bc I’m highkey shamelessly projecting

god I wish my timeline twin would manifest in the astral plane and punch me in the arm too

“Count yourself lucky you’re not a pillow, idiot.” in-context this is contender for Most Cursed Line I Have Ever Written In My Life

and yes Alix was about to straight-up swear

Mylène rollerskating is extremely blessed and good

pfffffffff Max you coward, I stand on swivel chairs all the time

*me, chanting at the spider in my room* KIMAX! KIMAX! KIMAX!

Kim literally making every excuse to not put Max down is amazing honestly

Kim and Max’s origins story is sooooooooooo cute wtf

THIS IS SO BLESSED OH MY HEART

HE’S JUST STANDING THERE CUDDLING HIM I’M

DECEASED

I,,,, swear to god,,,,,,,

so like. I know it’s now canon in the show that Kim really is as oblivious to his feelings as I wrote him in this. but MY GOD. IT’S FRIGGIN PAINFUL

KIM YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH MAX, FULL HOMO, THAT’S WHY YOU’RE FEELING LIKE THIS, IT’S NOT THAT COMPLICATED DAMMIT

oh yeah I wrote the kimax bits rly early and my old url was @queenkubdel haha

aight now a no-kimax chapter, but at least it’s a goodun

there’s that catradora-esque weather girls frenemyship again

Kim having a full-on breakdown when he finds out Alix’s hair isn’t really pink is actually really blessed, no lemme explain

so this universe has magic, right?? so he thinks to himself that the reason his friend has pink hair is because she must be some sort of anime protagonist or Really Important and Cool or something, and it never even occurred to him to doubt her

in other words he’s betrayed because he WANTED HIS FRIEND TO BE A COOL SHONEN HERO

which is both hilarious AND very sweet

...oh wait I’ve scrolled down and it turns out I literally explained all that in the fic itself hhdgjdvzjdjhs

and yeah honestly I can’t blame poor Kim for taking it so badly, he’s still reeling from his grandfather’s assassination so it’s natural his emotions are not exactly Regulated atm

actually when are his emotions ever regulated

1703-1899 hm... might change that since the fic takes place in 1957-1960 so even though it’s a commissioned history of the empire it was before Gabriel was even born so like why would he even care lmao

“Great Western Ocean” so pretentious, just say the Atlantic omg

I’ve been playing way too much civ because the first thing that came to mind was that everyone’s denounced Agreste due to the high warmongering penalties of the industrial/modern eras

Chloé and Kim is one hell of a brotp okay I still firmly believe that

also Chloé still loves her rococo fashion, she’s just toned it down enough that she can fit through doors and it’s not quite as “in your face” towards commoners

listen I know in the show Kim still liked Chloé for a while after Dark Cupid but in this he got over her quicker because his crush on her wasn’t as deep in the first place

Kim literally tells Chloé he gave the brooch to Max and yet STILL doesn’t realize he likes him!!! KIM!!!!!!!!!!

Chlodemption arc yesssssssss

also she’s a lesbeean

(ye Pollen will be in the sequel don’t you worry)

god I’m so proud of her <3

it feels believable too, so I’m proud of myself!! (I’m trying to be nice to myself before next chapter where I will no doubt roast myself so badly I’ll never recover)

outdated laws about marriage... jeez was that cursed foreshadowing or what

YES IT’S IVAN, I LOVE THIS BOY, HE’S SO GRUMPY AND ANGRY ALL THE TIME AND HE HATES KIM

...actually wait this is sibling culture

I literally speak like this to my brother and he’s my best friend so in conclusion Ivan thinks of Kim as an annoying brother

Jalil why are you a historian. just go be a psychologist and stop your sister accidentally hecking up the country

omg the Antarctica thing, I’m just imagining Jalil in the freezing cold with a massive coat on and getting chased by penguins

I love how the timeline twin’s plan was “escape school, force Adrien to get a venomous pet, then abandon him immediately in the middle of nowhere” and later on it turns out she skipped step two and just ditched him lmaoooooo

being so ace that your brain goes straight to “death and murder” before anything else is the biggest mood, I speak from experience

Jalil knows... he had that conversation with Kim in chapter 20... he Knows

“a bit unsupportive” um that is an extreme understatement good grief he was more savage than ME

RISE OF THE KIMAX SHIPPERS

oh don’t worry the venom death still haunts me too

chapter I Hate You... “A rather rotten winter party” well it should have been named A RATHER ROTTEN CHAPTER DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPOSSIBLE THIS ONE WAS TO WRITE OMG I HATE WRITING MYSELF INTO CORNERS

you see I had to have a motive for the timeline twin to explain things properly so that I could put in a really really dumb pun later but that meant I had to unfortunately suffer many allergic reactions again

[future aish note: forgot to mention, i also needed a motive for kim to stop eating chocolate forever, so i had to Curse this chapter as a sacrifice in order to save his life later on]

alright, alright, here we go, I’ll stop procrastinating and just get this over with

oh yeah it’s chapters like these that the fic’s rated T lol

the Adrikim friendship is indeed important... for later... like, plot-relevant levels of important... life-saving levels...

“some event” is the Peace Ball actually and I can’t wait because that chapter’s actually a good one

KIM BRAGGING ABOUT KISSING ADRIEN LAST YEAR IS SO FUCKING FUNNY OH MY GOD I’M LOSING MY MIND???

like last year he was LITERALLY LIKE “oh boo hoo I cannot tell anyone about this because Adrien is Ã Bøyê” and now he’s just like “yeah I kissed a hot boy and what about it???”

to be fair he is on an extreme sugar rush from all the chocolate he ate, which will... be a plot point in just a moment...

PILLOW GIRLFRIEND

I’m the amused nobles, they are me

oh my god Kim we get it you want to kiss someone (Max) and you don’t want to outright say it

holy shit do any of these kids ever think before they speak??? not to sound like the timeline twin or anything but alix... you could have avoided this if you’d bothered to use your one (1) brain cell

[future aish note: bold of me to assume that alix has a brain cell]

Kim wants to now fight his PARALLEL SELF oh my god, get on my level Kim, I want to fight my actual self like right now so there

stfu all of you, this is poisoning my liver

Max is the biggest mood and at least mildly sensible thank god, but he really shouldn’t have left those two alone for even a second

I AGREE PLATONIC LOVE IS UNDERRATED

the chair... the fucking c h a i r... I’m already lying down but I need to lie down harder just to process the absurdity of this

(I think I was gonna have Alix fall off the chair just because that’s hilarious but I forgot)

look I can’t take heartrate seriously but if you ever write it then you are legally required to put in kissing contests or you’re doing it wrong

fudgin Adrienette kiss offscreen and irrelevant

DJWIFI!!! AND ACTUAL PROPER DJWIFI!!!! I was sick of seeing it treated as some kind of pair-the-spares beta couple so I flipped the script and had them literally call out that trope while treating Adrienette as irrelevant instead, which is also why the sequel will be extremely djwifi-centric

“super swanky bae” please stop misusing commoner slang I’m begging you

THERE’S THE PLOT POINT I WAS TALKING ABOUT

Theo was right here, he witnessed with his own eyes how much chocolate Kim ate, so he knows for a fact that if you give Kim chocolate he will scarf it down without a second thought... so hypothetically if one sent him poisoned chocolates... dyou see where I’m going with this...

oh and Theo still has like every job btw

Alya!!!! no!!!!! hire him again!!!!!!!! then he won’t send the chocolates!!!!!!!!!! aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

there goes me hinting how alyadrininette is the ultimate ot4 again

...do I really wanna scroll down and keep going? no I don’t but I guess I gotta, and relive every one of my most embarrassing school sleepovers in the process

full offence to everyone bothering to read this but kissing sounds gross, actually

(for the record it was probably like... 10 seconds or something idk it was Not Long At All)

“probably not more than 5 minutes” omg I just said it was 10 seconds??? hmmm m okay like 20 seconds maaaybe, Kim just has no sense of time perception

neither do I based on my microwaving skills

SHIT THIS IS LITERALLY A SCHOOL SLEEPOVER

INNOCENT DUMBASS AROACE ASKING “what does that mean? what’s this? what’s that? it’s okay you can tell me :-)”

omg I forgot the snake was there ahshdhdkshfs I’m the snake, probably wants to launch itself out of the window so big mood

most of the fic so far had Alix being really aro so I was like damn... gotta make her really ace too

(if I ever bother writing the Kimdine AU then you actually get an aro character who isn’t ace, because we need more of them, but I won’t say who) (okay fine it’s Luka)

I tend not to be too British in my writing so as not to give the Americans heart attacks whenever they see someone referring to their mother as “mum” etc, but like... sometimes you just gotta throw in the word “snogging”

(I’m typing this out on my phone rn and it has exactly 69% battery, I hate this and also hate that I felt the need to mention that)

THE HOCKEY THING MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN BASED OFF A REAL LIFE THING. *SWEATS NERVOUSLY*

honestly I was soooooo tempted to actually write The Talk bit, it would have been the funniest thing ever, but I was also 99% sure I would have to change the rating to M (despite it not even remotely being smut lol, just a regular biology lesson) and there was no way I was doing that, pretty sure I pushed the T rating at some points as it is

[future aish: god i am still so tempted to write it. man, i’m tempted. it would be the funniest thing. but no... i have sworn not to write anything above a T rating so guess i won’t.]

YEAH THE THROWING UP THING TOO WAS DEFINITELY NOT BASED ON REAL LIFE OR ANYTHING *MORE NERVOUS SWEATING*

(it genuinely wasn’t a flowerpot though. it’s my life’s goal to throw up in a flowerpot and I still haven’t achieved it.)

all of this is an Ace Mood(TM)

also I love how elaborately I’ve worded this, like yeah idiot royal teenagers are too royal and posh to ever bother just saying the word “sex” like a normal person

to any 17 year old aces: you aren’t too young to know, I told myself that aggressively when I was 17 but now I’m 22 and I’m still just as ace as I always was sooooo yeah

I also hope I can wake up tomorrow and forget I read this trash

well tbh... it’s not total trash... it highkey reminds me of my school days, like, maybe that was subconscious or something... god who even knows

jeez if timeline twin slapped me in the face I’d just keel over and die from sheer terror, other than that that’s HILARIOUS

timeline twin: “YOU HAVE ONE (1) BRAIN CELL NOW P L E A S E CONSIDER USING IT”

fuckeninf hell listen,,, so when I was writing this chapter I didn’t know I was aro... I mean, I was kinda questioning it?? but all I knew was I was ace, and that me not knowing that as a teenager almost totally screwed me over because like

to be normal or to feel normal there’s things you do or say that you don’t want, and things you know would happen or whether you want something or not you’ll take it because you think you’re expected to, because otherwise you’ll have to confront yourself with the fact that something is wrong with you and you don’t know what or why or how to fix it

and being aro on top of that is misunderstanding how to navigate close friendships because of this fundamental fear that if you want to be close with someone then friendship can’t suffice, that how much you care about them doesn’t matter

and things I did or almost did, or had the chance to do and only stopped because (awfully enough) crippling anxiety which ironically saved me (let’s just say the dude turned out to be a creep)... yeah basically this is all a callback to that aroace teenager feel where you can’t help not being true to yourself because you don’t want to, because you don’t know what’s wrong or right, only what’s “normal” and the ache of knowing that you’re not, no matter how much you try

and I didn’t know I was aro while writing this but in hindsight it’s easy to see how that played into it too, and writing this definitely played a part in me realizing I’m aro and was somehow trying to work through some very pent-up feelings about friendship and closeness with people, as well as pent-up feelings about being ace and how that tied into everything too

...in short, do not phuck the pharaoh or you will get HOUSE ARRESTED and DIE

(jk jk she’ll just be awkward around you forever lol, and then SHE’LL get house arrested and die, because you’re not commoners so your actions actually have consequences you dumb idiots)

this entire thing is just a whole mood and lowkey my teenage years holy fuck holy fuck I hate that I’m only just realizing how bloody hard I was projecting

I literally read a post the other day about how unrequited love is only ever usually explored from the perspective of the person who’s in love, whereas aros are usually on the receiving end of it and it’s a tragedy in its own right that you might do things that wind up driving you apart because you can’t bring yourself to love them back but you can’t tell them because of the fear that it’ll push them away... and I gotta say, I totally nailed it 💪

...you know what I’ve changed my mind, chapter 34 is good actually, and now I need to make a time machine and go and hug my 17 year old self for living this, and then hug my 20 year old self for writing this, I’m sorry I was mean to this chapter it’s very relatable and I shouldn’t keep beating myself up over it

thinking makes me miserable too!! that’s why it’s optimistic nihilism only lads

impulse control, hmmm... someone who’s good for him, hmmmmmm... it’s almost like someone like that is right there and exists and is already in love with him 😏

so apparently timeline twin’s idea of “fixing her life” is burning all her bridges and then hecking off to the Kazakh wilderness for over a year

did Alix just... ask the snake if it’s aroace too???

I mean it definitely is, but...

UGH SNAKES DON’T BLINK, I’M STILL SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS

chapter 35, thank god, the title “Finally!” is very apt

(because I can finally change the music from Death Valley to something else lol)

oh poor Max, his heart goes on a real rollercoaster these few chapters doesn’t it? it’s okay buddy, in like 10 chapters you’ll get your man...

NO BUT SHE H A S FIGURED IT OUT!!! SORT OF!!!

I just misread “despite” as “despacito”, I’m going to bed and continuing this tomorrow dammit

alright I am now funky refreshed and ready to roll, let’s get this kimax party started

Max is angsting internally like “no one’s realized I like Kim :( well except Juleka but she’s a lesbian so she doesn’t count” ashgdjsghskk that mlm/wlw solidarity is holding out I see

YES ALIX YOU DO NEED TO TALK TO NATH MORE, THAT’S YOUR FREAKING BEST BUD IN THE SHOW MAY I REMIND YOU

this is all so Irony it’s murdering me dead

okay yeah I’m gonna be really honest and salty here for a second, this bit where Max is annoyed that Alix takes Nath more seriously as a contender than him was me being a bit salty over the fact that like... kimnath/tomato ketchup is a great rarepair but got so weirdly popular amongst people who didn’t seem to care about Max as a character at all despite how close he is with Kim in canon, and as a Max Stan it made me sad because he’s already not very appreciated in fandom

[future aish note: HE IS NOW BABEY!]

THERE IT IS

I WANT TO HUG MAX TOO, BLESS HIM

I also want to hug Alix because godddds I’ve been in that situation where if you were allowed to just TELL the idiots that they like each other then all their problems would be solved but noooo, you’re sworn to secrecy... *sigh*

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t change, ever...” me: *thinks about the sequel and cackles evilly while cracking my knuckles* well,,

A R O M A N T I C

listen it was VERY IMPORTANT to me that I actually put in all these actual words in the fic and made them relevant, like gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc (I think the only one I didn’t was trans, oops?? gotta remember that for the sequel, at least Nino IS trans in this even though I never said the word)

[future aish note: i feel like i didn’t say pan either, or nonbinary... more stuff for the sequel folks! i can’t put in everything but i may as well try!]

bc you see all these tv shows where a character is bi but they say they “don’t like labels” or a character with no love interest get suddenly paired up with someone random at the end... like NO I wanted to do the OPPOSITE of that bc people’s identities are IMPORTANT so I wanted to MAKE IT RELEVANT 💪

and even though I didn’t yet know here that I was aro and highkey projecting, there’s already a fair few fics dealing with asexuality but not aromanticism?? so I rly wanted to make the aro side of things important

almost relieved??? Max, you buffoon, she IS relieved, extremely

Malix friendship is good and severely underrated and I still haven’t forgiven myself for not putting more of it in this

“He was never eating chocolate again” HO-HO-HOLY SHIT THAT’S SOME FORESHADOWING RIGHT THERE

Rose is a distinguished bi who doesn’t realize Kim is a disaster bi

Kim oh my god you can’t just out Adrien “just about functional bi” Agreste like that

I love that Rose calls Kim a casanova even though he’s very much not... how many people are even into him over the course of the fic? Max, Adrien, it’s implied Marinette used to be, Lila is ambiguous, same with the lacrosse guy later, oh yeah Ondine highkey lmao along with 90% of the teenage population of Saharan Africa, Kim himself in about 2 chapters time...

Rose giving Kim the gay talk is so blessed omg I need more interaction between these two

“If you swung one way you were gay, if you swung the other way you were straight, more than one way made you bisexual, if you didn’t swing any way at all then you were probably just Alix...” I will literally NEVER be able to outdo this line, this is Peak

hmm I don’t think at any point in the fic Max says to Kim that he’s exclusively into boys... I guess he said it offscreen then lol, point is He’s Gay

OMG KIM, YOU FINALLY REALIZED WHAT THE NOSEBLEED SCENE MEANT, GOD BLESS YOU

this is like in Syren when he realizes the mermaid is Ondine and that she was trying to tell him she likes him... except this is the gay version of that

yeah Rose I really do need to get more sleep, that one was directed at me and I know it was

Kim being all like “fellas is it gay if you take off your shirt and a guy swoons at you 🤔🤔🤔”

no, no... Max is definitely a complete trainwreck at romance, just slightly less than you

god freaking dammit not the sports bra again,,, I s2g later in the fic all Ondine would have had to do is to show up in a sports bra and Kim would immediately go full ot3 mode no questions asked,,,,,,,, (I mean he does see her in a swimsuit but that’s not the same??? sports bras are in a different league okay shush)

psssssst!!! you should read heartbroken!!!! it’s a kimax fic and it’s so good!!!!! this was a lowkey shoutout!!!!!!!!

genuinely tho, even if Kim hadn’t liked Max too here, he’s being so sweet about it?? he’s worried about his poor friend’s emotional state and wishes he could have done better to help!! gahhhh their friendship/relationship is just So Blessèd

hsndhkdhdkshdh I only noticed it after finishing the fic and occasionally skimming back through, but so much of the time whenever Alix shows up Kim’s all like *ungrateful* “oh not you again” like WOW that’s one way to greet your friend?? mood tho

[future aish note: i did the exact opposite in No Romo, funnily enough! kim’s not in it much but whenever he sees alix he’s like “friend!!! friend!!!!!” and she’s just like -_- “oh it’s that guy again”]

he’s not even paying attention to her omg she’s trying to save the timeline here you idiot

POOR ALIX how frustrating,,, and also I’ve literally been there,,, the woes of being a wing-girl indeed

and now Kim wants to fight himself, why am I not surprised

aND YES HERE’S WHERE IT HITS HIM, THE EXACT FUCKING MOMENT

WHERE HE’S SUDDENLY LIKE “OH WAIT MAX’S LOVE FOR ME ISN’T UNREQUITED??? I LIKE HIM TOO HOLY SHIT????”

aaaaaaand he immediately asks the aro for love advice, why is he like this omg

gosh this is sooooo sweeeeeet

I did not let up, did I? just went ahead and made this as cheesy and cutesy and over the top as I could because It’s What Kimax Deserves

(there wasn’t rly much Kimax content yet in the fandom at this point so I had total free reign and went all-out with it)

sfjsgskdhs and there goes Alix getting her wing-efforts sidelined again

“I’m never asking out someone on a whim again. Or, uh, confessing that I like someone on a whim either.” so uh... you know how I said I’m considering making the sequel Kimaxdine? well if I do then uh. hm. this might change. because reasons.

I don’t know why I made nothing Alix ever says make sense but I’m glad I did because she’s so freaking funny

I swear I talk about Max’s eyes being “magnified in his glasses” multiple times in this fic, either that or I’m having serious deja vu

Kim’s so cute dammit!!! now that he knows he likes Max he’s just swooning over every little thing and it’s!!!! adorable!!!!!

(I wonder if this is how it was with Kimdine in the show? it does seem like Kim already liked her but just hadn’t noticed...)

huehuehuehue Kim later on you do indeed recklessly propose to Max on the spot... in like 18 chapters or so

also the fact that Kim thinks things through better when he’s around Max is just the total sweetest and also what Alix was basically trying to aim for

I love Kim showing off that he can pack all his stuff in half an hour like buddy, the porters can literally help you with that, you’re royalty remember

omg I’d forgotten I left a note here later for binge-readers!! being all like “drink water and eat food and go to sleep uwu”

lmao guess I’ll take my own advice then and leave it there for now

[future aish note: same, goodnight]

#smalluns proceed with caution. it's T rated remember #it's not dodgy though. just evil and cursed #anyway i'm going to sleep now for like 12 hours #random stuff #misadventures #if you're on the mobile app and the keep reading glitches and you have to scroll then i'm sorry #this is under a cut on desktop i promise

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somuch-4-stardust · 2 years

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🧡🦚🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ for the Queer Asks? :D

🧡- How has the way you presented yourself (ex. Clothing, hairstyle, etc.) changed since you realized you were queer? UMMM i cut my hair i think is the biggest change. over time ive gotten better style too (tho honestly dressing nice takes too much effort most of the time lol) but that doesnt really correlate to me being queer.

🦚 - Are there any queer books/shows/etc. that you would suggest? im going to be honest theres not a single piece of queer media that i would recommend. not that the ones ive seen have been BAD they're just not recommendation worthy. I WILL GIVE U A REVIEW THO the last two pieces of queer media i consumed were heartstopper and aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe. heartstopper was pretty mid tbh i just didnt enjoy it that much. aristotle+dante was meh too it felt like all the characters were pretty like. bland and just there to support and develop the main character. im sure theres great queer media i just. dont watch a lot of new shit haha

🏳️‍🌈 - Do you enjoy the colors of your preferred flag? Do you incorporate it into your outfits, decor, etc.? ummmmm i have lots of flags and i think all of them have pretty ncie color schemes ^-^ i enjoy the aroace flag but i dont think the colors are very aro ace at least not to me. aroace just doesnt feel like an orangeblue word u know? and honestly i think pride flag themed outfits are a fantastic idea and i want to do that now lol

🏳️‍⚧️ - What Flag do you think has the best color scheme? one of the ones i made for my personal xenogenders lmao i dont wanna show them bc i am embarrassed BUT i think the colors are nice (<- i used my fav colors. bc . they're my personal flags LMAO). as for well known flags i really do like the trans flag the colors are really comforting to me

#I DIDNT REREAD THIS IF THERE ARE ERRORS. SHHHHH JUST IGNORE THEM!!#THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE ASK EHEHEHEHEH #i love tlaking abt myself #cyanide answers

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aroworlds · 6 years

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Aro-Spec Artist Profile: Sebastian

Our next aro-spec creator is Sebastian, better known on Tumblr as @gloriousmonsters and @mangledmouth!

Sebastian is a bisexual, autistic, aromantic trans man who is single-handedly covering many literary bases in producing original aro and queer short stories, novels and poetry. Aside from his Tumblr blogs, you can find and support more of his work at his Patreon. If you have a dollar or two you’re wanting to invest in worthy aro-spec talent on a less-regular basis, please take a look at Sebastian’s Ko-Fi!

With us Sebastian talks about identifying with the role of villainy in narrative as an aro creative, aromantic characters and grand emotional gesture, the divide between representation and self-expression, and some spectacular-sounding work-in-progress book titles! His investment in aromantic characters and characterisation shapes every word, so please let’s give him all our love, encouragement, gratitude, kudos and follows for taking the time to explore what it is to be aromantic and creative.

Can you share with us your story in being aro-spec?

It took me a while to realize I was aromantic, but it was one of the things that made me go ‘oh, that makes … a lot of sense’ when I looked back at my childhood. I was a weird, isolated kid, so I didn’t learn from bouncing off other children; I learned through stories.

One of my strongest early memories is of watching a poorly made Red Riding Hood film over and over again, belting out the lyrics to the (poorly written) villain’s song, called ‘Man Without A Heart’. Cut to a year or so later, watching the Rodgers and Hammerstein Cinderella (still the best Cinderella, IMO), I was utterly fascinated by the villainess singing: ‘Falling in love with love is falling for make-believe…’

I didn’t know, that early, that I didn’t feel romantic love. Not consciously. But there was something utterly, obsessively interesting about villains that sneered at love, who were called heartless, who challenged the narrative that there must always be a love story and it must come out right no matter what. I felt, on a deep level, that these people were like me somehow. The additional queercoding and common side-helping of mental illness helped - or didn’t help, depending on your perspective. I grew up knowing, deep down, what my part in life was: I was the villain.

When I hit my rebellious age, it first came out by my saying, ‘But being a villain doesn’t mean you have to be wrong or unhappy’. I began collecting villains like nobody’s business, and writing stories that more and more often centered people whose character types I’d only ever seen as villains. And from there we arrive at today!

Are there any particular ways your aro-spec experience is expressed in your art?

Recently, my brother (who is my sounding board for a lot of stories, as I am for him) looked at my books-to-write list and said, ‘Nearly every idea you have is a deconstructed romance or strong non-romantic relationship.’

I love strong relationships, so I originally thought I needed to write people as love interests to get that; these days I feel more free to focus on whatever the heck I want, and being aro shows in everything. My current WIP centers a poly relationship where two of the partners are aromantic. Two people (often, but not always, a man and a woman due to my frustration with the ‘men and women can’t be friends’ thing) who are the most important people in each others’ lives and are platonic, show up over and over again in my novel ideas; I start with relationships that look like romances and then pull them apart. Part of this, I think, is due to my autistic ‘let’s take this into component parts and see how it works’ tendencies; being autistic and being aro aren’t cause and effect, for me, but they play well together.

When I write poetry, some of it deals explicitly with being aromantic, but all of it is non-romantic. It makes me kind of anxious sometimes to think of people interpreting pieces as being romo because they’re about intense emotions; one of the biggest ways being aro is expressed in my writing is my constant attempts to show other feelings, connections and relationships than romance being worthy of big feelings and gestures. I’ll sometimes refer to myself as ‘aromantic but capital-R Romantic’ (i.e. extremely dramatic) because of that.

What challenges do you face as an aro-spec artist?

I’m sure I’ll run into more problems as I try to take my increasingly aro and queer and ND works to professional markets, but at the moment my biggest problem is self-censoring. I sit at an awkward junction of having multiple identities I want to include in my work, and being … well, someone who grew up obsessed with villains, who later on developed a decade’s interest in slasher horror, and who still tends to write people who are perceived as, or see themselves as, villains. Awkward because I always have that voice in my head (helped along by some of the stuff I see on social media) going ‘that’s not good rep! nobody will want to read this!’

But I know from experience that not writing from the heart (and look at that, I do have one after all!) doesn’t end well, so I’m working on getting good at writing my weird dark stuff and hoping I’ll find the audience for it. And I always leave a little bit of light in it, because I have another voice in my head, still saying, ‘just because you’re a villain doesn’t mean you can’t be happy’.

It’s a weird sort of positivity, but it works for me.

How do you connect to the aro-spec and a-spec communities as an aro-spec person?

Following and submitting to this blog is part of my first attempts to actually join the aro-spec community. I tend to move slowly and be very nervous of talking to new people, but I’ve been trying to be more affirming of my aromantic identity lately, and seeking out other aros is part of that. Hopefully I’ll settle in a little more as time passes.

How can the aro-spec community best help you as a creative?

At the moment, people following and reblogging from my poetry blog @mangledmouth would be much appreciated. It’s hard to get traction with poetry (especially if you don’t write romantic poetry) and I’d love more people to see my work. I’m proud of a lot of what I’ve done, so check it out! Be warned that my love for horror and oddness turns up there as well, but there’s nothing too graphic.

And Ko-Fi donations or small Patreon subscriptions are always appreciated.

Can you share with us something about your current project?

My current WIP (titled either The Night In Wanting or And One of Us Be Happy, depending on whether I go for the one that sounds better or the one that fits best thematically) is about a third done! Praise me, because I’m really bad at finishing things, but I’m still on track to wrap this up at the end of June. It’s about a Weird Small Town and Sarah, a girl with a reputation for breaking hearts, who decides to date one of her best friends and actually try to make it work. Her attempts at being normal quickly get derailed when their town’s general weirdness turns hostile - attacks by creatures from the woods, unsettling amounts of rain, pictures changing when you’re not looking at them and a really pushy forest spirit trying to bargain with people for a heart. Her attempts at normal are further derailed when she figures out that her new boyfriend is also in love with a mutual friend, and that she might not feel love at all.

I love these characters, guys. This story is finally coming together after years and the three main characters - Sarah, Mags and Fred - have always been at the heart of it, no matter what shape it took. (Mags used to be a ghost, and the story went through a phase of being a Band AU of itself. Fred kept getting possessed, and there’s a joke about that in the text now that nobody will get but me. And now you guys!) It’s terrifying to write a YA that’s not only poly, but focuses on an aromantic main character, but I’m determined to make it work.

(This is is one of the most sweet/normal things I’ve worked on, despite the healthy dose of horror. I’ve also been writing snippets of a pet project called How The Child-Eater Became King, to give you an idea of the other end of the spectrum.)

Have you any forthcoming works we should look forward to?

I haven’t got the release date for it yet (it’ll probably be a while yet) but I recently sold a short story, Sabuyashi Flies, to Glittership. The main character, Sabuyashi, was originally aroace but turned out to be a lesbian ace during writing. (Characters often decide to come out while I’m writing, which is always fun to handle. I mean that both sarcastically and genuinely.) I’m already working on and off on the sequel story where she meets her future best friend Nathaniel, who is aro. Working title is Nat Luckless and the Girl Made of Beetles. Look for news about Sabuyashi Flies soonish and Nat Luckless whenever my slow butt manages to finish and (fingers crossed) sell it!

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batuuan-artist · 6 years

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Hey Guys!

If you’ve seen my last post you know that I’m riding home with an old middle school friend who I’m definitely not still close with and definitely doesn’t know about my gender for a 1.5-2.5 hour drive (dependent on traffic)

We leave around 11 AM EST so if anyone wants to send me:

Drawing prompts/requests

Fic prompts/requests

Random messages in my DMs (please I want to talk to y’all dont be shy)

Headcanon prompts/requests

Etc.

Also I’m going to put a quick synopsis of an idea thats 6 years in the making below the cut

It’s a Doctor Who AU that was literally some of the first world building my girlfriend (@somekindaspacecadet) and I ever did so I’ll explain some of the main characters below and don’t worry if you’re interested in learning about it and you haven’t watched the show a lot of it’s pretty different and I’m willing to explain (ie infodump) to anyone who has questions either about the AU itself or the characters specifically (please talk to me about these nerds i would die for every single one of them)

(side note) these are just some of the big players within the universe we’ve “taken” plenty of characters from the show and changed some aspects or just left them the way they were, and we have created dozens of characters that just don’t play as big of a role as these guys do

Theta: this is the main character of the show during his schooling years from about 8-100 (he’s an alien they don’t age the same as us!) he’s kinda goofy and not very academically driven, despite being in his school’s top 10 program, but he’s fiercely loyal to his friends and he’s moralistically driven. He’s also down for a good party with plenty of illegal substances

Kos: Theta’s best friend (also one of the shows reoccurring antagonists, but we dont have to talk about that now) more academically driven than Theta, also in the top 10 club (referred to as “the Deca”) , a little more on the anxious and depressed side (which is a big gen z/millennial mood) he has had 2 pet cats (the former named Carrot and the latter named Vincent), he tries to be an emo boy but he’s really just a big softy and he loves his friends and girlfriend so much its wild. He likes sweaters and can only cook hot coco

side note: Theta and Kos are sometimes romantically involved and they and their SO’s are a-OK with this situation and other than the 2 siblings of the group they work more as a polyamourous relationship than as individual ships!

Ali: Kos’s younger sister and Theta’s girlfriend. Pretty sassy and overall a good time, she’s a musician (yeah she was a self insert when i was 13 sue me) and she doesn’t take anyones crap 10/10 willing to fight at any given moment. Best friends with Katie (see below)

Katie: Kos’s girlfriend (or fiancee depending on the point in the timeline) and Ali’s best friend. She is one of the first people to basically change her status within schools to try and fulfill her dream of one day becoming the president of her people. She’s super ambitious but literally a perfect cinnamon roll too good too pure we love her so much we are all Katie stans here in this house

Note these characters are all 100% precanon the next set all more or less exist during the “canon timeline” and will be listed by relevance rather than appearance chronologically within the timeline

Ali: (So initially this Ali and the other Ali did not coexist in the same universe but things happened and all our headcanons merged so now they do and this Ali is named after the first Ali.) Ali is, more or less, the main character of the universe she is the child of the main character and another powerful character who depending on the timeline, is either a quiet, anxious child that has a lot of crap thrown at her when she’s little (none of it is like familial abuse she is very loved its all unfortuate situations given that the show is a sci-fi drama) or a wonderful teacher and mother as an adult

Lizzie: Ali’s younger sister (thought chronologically would appear first in some instances but time travel man) she has a different second parent than Ali but basically everyone gets along just fine because the main character is just Like That TM. Also there’s like long time gaps in between these relationships because of the long life span and time travel. Lizzie is our aroace queen and we are also all Lizzie stans. She’s very Scottish and takes no one’s shit. She is known for standing up for the kids at her school and beating up bullies, which gets her in some trouble but she keeps doing it anyway. She also plays soccer (football in canon as its based in the UK) her papa is more traditional (not in a bigoted way just likes some gender rolls, he’s trying his best hes from the past) and really isnt sure what to make of his very androgynous daughter but he loves her like so much you guys

Alex: Ali’s husband also Kos’s son but like far into the future. So, with the whole you cant link posts thing right now I’ll just tell you guys when i was 13 I read this fic part of the series “Not the Last” by elisi on AO3 and we like, low key started incorporating this character into our stories so like oops. All thats basically the same are bits of his backstory and his name but I 100% recommend reading the fic because it’s really good! We just altered him to fit into our story so now hes drastically different from the original which is good. Alex is the world’s biggest nerd he loves all things comics and sci-fi, he has his action figures organized by order of appearance in the movies, and he works for space organizations despite being a literal alien (or is that because hes a literal alien who knows) he’s a big dork but we love him anyway

Leo: Ali and Alex’s son. He’s super smart and wants to be a doctor when he grows up. He’s also completely non-verbal and communicates either telepathically (alien tech) or with sign language. Despite the things that happen to make Kos a major antagonist, hes doing his best to reform and Leo is part of that process, he loves this kid (so do we), the two are very close and spend a lot of time together despite Alex’s initial protests

#doctor who #newsies #The Hiraeth Kids au #doctor who au #original character

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1295048306607 · 7 years

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Callout post for Rhiannon / tumblr user irl-harleyquinn / not-yandere-kuudere / otaku-umaru-chan

I have been planning doing this callout for a long time but I haven’t since it’s mostly personal beef between me, my boyfriend and aer. Now I’m at that point I can’t let this pass and I want aer to take responsibility of aer actions. I’m very sorry for this being so long. I’m going to make another post if I recall more.

tw for: abuse, suicide, stalking, pedophilia, incest

EDIT 12/8/2017: This post has been updated, ae has deleted some of the posts mentioned, but theres more evidence on their abusive behavior now.

Summarized version: Rhiannon has been abusing both me and my boyfriend since we met aer. Ae has sexually harassed both of us, sexually abused my boyfriend (the other callout on my byf), been generally unapologetic, copied my whole personality and done lots of bad things in general. For me ae caused episodes regularly; one time ae even ignored when I was this close to killing myself, ignored my triggers, ignored my well being in general, started copying my interests etc.

All in all ae is very abusive and this callout post is mainly made for aer to realize what ae has done wrong and try to change aer behavior in aer future relationships since straight-up telling aer doesn’t seem to help as proven by both my boyfriend’s and my experiences.

EDIT: Ae didn’t admit to any of these and lied about being sorry:

But then on my IMs (censored my irl name for obvious reasons):

NOTE: I have never done a callout post before so I dont know how to structure this well. I also don’t have lots of ‘proof’ or screenshots since I deleted our convos (most of the stuff happened on Skype) and blocked aer everywhere after breaking my ties with aer because at the time I thought ae would learn from aer mistakes, but I was wrong. Most of these are from aer blog or from what I could recover from my old blog.

1. Causing breakdowns on me, not taking me seriously, triggering me

Since I started talking with aer I got this ugly feeling inside my chest to which I probably should have listened. Ae was very clingy toward my boyfriend, ignoring that I had abandonment issues; I am diagnosed with both BPD and DPD and ae knew this. Despite this ae didn’t honestly think about my feelings at all. Below is one example of the gross things ae did to my boyfriend (which caused me to dissociate and have a panic attack) and didn’t change aer behavior even after this.

EDIT 12/8/2017: It has been revealed to me that ae used to sexually abuse my boyfriend which makes this all a lot of worse. Please check the details from my main blogs byf or on his blog.

Rhiannon also ignored me and changed subject when i was clearly in need of help or someone to vent to. This is me talking about my abusive childhood:

And this is me talking about my abusive mom in a middle of episode:

I honestly felt like ae might have been jealous about me because ae obsessed over my boyfriend so much. Me telling about my age regressing and young mental age and aer response is this:

A convo I don’t have screenshots of was me nearly killing myself and ae treated me the same as in previous convos. Ae was the only person online that late so ofc thinking ae was my friend I contacted aer. A mistake. This honestly scarred me a lot because there was a really big chance I had died that night and ae wasn’t helping me at all.

Rhiannon also talked a lot about aer sexual abuse which is kind of a triggering subject to me because of my own experiences. Ae knew this but constantly brought it up. Sometimes ae would talk sexually about my IDs which also made me have break downs. One time ae sent me a picture of aer nsfw art knowing it would make me uncomfortable. According to my boyfriend ae talked a lot about sex to him even though it made him uncomfortable.

Ae also was weirdly coming onto me even though ae knew at the time I identified as aromantic (censored my irl name again):

No Rhiannon it’s called being uncomfortable.

2. Obsessive behavior, stalking, copying, being abusive and manipulation in general, lying

Rhiannon bases all aer abusive behavior to “being mentally ill”. This is complete bullshit since ae does realize ae is being manipulative.

As mentioned before ae was really obsessed with both of us; but mainly with my boyfriend. Ae never stopped talking about my boyfriend when ae talked to me which made me frankly annoyed and triggered my abandonment issues. According to my boyfriend ae spammed him 24/7 and wanted to video chat every single day. Ae got upset if my boyfriend didn’t want to hang out with aer and during group chats commented on every single thing my boyfriend said. Ae spammed me too and after we broke our ties apparently still talked about me a lot as if we still were friends to my boyfriend which I honestly find creepy.

Aes obsessiveness sometimes got very creepy:

Even admits it:

I live in Finland and ae brought up moving here for a few times all over from America after my boyfriend which always turned alarms on inside my head. Here’s one of them and ae is making it seem like ae is half joking; ae isn’t since ae brought it up so many times (censored out my boyfriend irl name just in case):

Ae clearly didn’t notice my discomfort with this or rather didn’t want to notice. Ae also made fun of my grammar even though English isn’t my first language. My boyfriend told me later that ae was in fact a bit racist; ie. making remarks on my boyfriends ethnicity.

Rhiannon has/had?? a fp who ae was even more obsessed about and made a text post (which ae deleted after awhile) where ae wished that this person would break up so ae could be with them. This has also been confirmed by my boyfriend. Ae also admits falling in love yet another friend of aers:

Ae does stalk others too. After cutting with aer, my boyfriend blocked aer on text, facebook, twitter, tumblr, snapchat, skype and youtube, but ae still managed to reach him via pinterest with a long and hateful message.

Rhiannon admits stalking aer ex:

A really minor thing but Rhiannon used to copy my interests a lot. If I were interested in something ae was too overnight. This wouldn’t bother me as much if I didn’t have identity issues such as BPD and DID. My boyfriend noted ae did this to him too.

EDIT 12/8/2017: This wasn’t as minor as I thought it was. As I browsed through my old tumblr convo with ae I noticed that every time I told something about myself, ae seemed to become the same over night. Ae was stealing bits and pieces of my identity. I told ae about my mental health problems, ae had the same ones suddenly. I told about the fashion trend I was into, ae was suddenly into it too. I told about being an age regressor, ae was suddenly too. I id:d as bigender, ae suddenly did too! I told about being aroace at the time, ae became one as well!! My boyfriend noted that at some point suddenly aer blog was pink as was mine and reblogged and posted similar content as I did at the time even though ae had always been stating ae is goth and had dark blog before. Here is about me telling ae about how me and my alter like fairy kei:

Then later:

Ae didn’t bother even use the right terms.

Rhiannon also guilt trips a lot and threatens people with suicide. This is debatable if it’s serious or not, but every time things won’t go aer way, ae will make text posts guilt tripping how ae wants to die and how everyone abandons aer which was one of the reasons I forgave ae tons of times.

Ae also lies regularly. one example is when ae told my boyfriend aer IQ, then later admitted to lying about the number. Then again ae said ae was "lying about lying" about aer IQ. So ae is not a credible source and will likely manipulate the situation as ae sees fit.

3. Guilt tripping both of us while breaking our ties with ae

After I finally broke my ties with aer after withstanding aer behavior for almost a year, ae started guilt tripping me telling I shattered aer sense of self even though only thing I did was stopping being aer friend. I had constantly stated how ae could change aer behavior but ae never listened.

My boyfriend however got it worse. After he got fed up with aer too ae has constantly, I MEAN CONSTANTLY, been vagueing and name dropping him. My boyfriend hinted and tried to set boundaries but this didn’t help. Rhiannon is trying to paint my boyfriend as this awful backstabber even though ae was the one breaking boundaries.

Here is

A Few

Of them

WARNING!! They get really creepy, just showing how obsessed ae was with my boyfriend

Additional stuff:

Rhiannon has reblogged incest: (the characters are sisters in canon)

Rhiannon also approves a pedophilic ship:

AE REBLOGGED LITERALLY SEXUALIZATION OF A MINOR (note that ae is an adult too)

Theres a lot more in aer yoi + aer kin tag.

Ae also obsesses over an underaged character:

Ae talked a lot about this character, sexual stuff too, and it kinda freaked me out since she’s only 14.

Ae did stuff like this without our knowledge which is fucked up (note that my mom is a single parent and this freaked me out even though my responses seem calm):

Admits wanting to commit a crime????

The most recent thing ae has done is claim calling aer out on being manipulative is ableist. However, it is ableist to blame mental health for abusive behavior; this claim demonizes mentally ill people as a whole. (I edited out our names again; I’m black and my boyfriend is blue)

Not 24 hours before stating the above, ae wrote this:

Ae is showing clear hypocrisy here.

Rhiannon, please listen. All you can do now is apologize, try to change your behavior, dont make excuses blaming abusive behavior on you mental illnes. Just write an apology and then we can move on. You can’t get us back, but you still have hope for becoming a better person for your future friends. I will keep this callout up until you make a proper apology.

EDIT 12/8/2017: Since Rhiannon didn’t make an actual apology to me or my boyfriend and with the new information of ae sexually abusing my boyfriend, this post will forever be here.

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