#I am sorry if none of this makes sense

[bucket-of-mold]

So I am reading through the mechs fiction, and I read Archive Footage, and now I'm thinking about the difference between Ivy's brain and Brian's brain. Based on the way they talk and act, their brains obviously work very differently. Ivy usually talks in statistics and her fiction shows that she stores memory as data, more like a usual computer would. She shows that dilemma of trying to keep messy human thought inside of a binary computer. Brian on the other hand seems to speak more like someone normally would, and I haven't seen anything about his brain working in a similar way to Ivy's (I haven't read all the fiction yet tho so i might be missing something). He does have the morality switch though, which is something Ivy doesn't have. It makes me wonder about how their mechanisms were made for them to both have such different experiences with having a mechanical brain. Maybe because Brian is mostly mechanical, his brain integrates more smoothly with the rest of him, while Ivy's is more stark of a contrast? Or maybe Brian's was an attempt to have a computer brain be more outwardly human, which caused the bi-product of a morality switch that Ivy didn't need? There is much to think about and this is not even scratching the surface of my thoughts on how the mechanisms function, or how Brian and Ivy work in general.

[andsewingishalfthebattle]

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

[silusvesuius]

testing out drawing maormer 🪸🐚🪸 and a nelvas 🧣📜🩷 i'll ramble about maormer a bit in the tags

[eevanta]

watching tallulah and chayannes conversation about whether to go and help dapper or stay home and be safe and seeing that 'fine have it your way. its always your way anyways' ough... i have said that EXACT sentence before to my sibling. i have had this exact fight and this is SO accurate. it escalates fast, and you both say the exact thing that will hurt each other the most. you poke at each others sore spots until you both have enough and leave in anger.

this situation is so specific, but how this is playing out is so accurate. two kids of a single parent. q!phil is stuck in between a rock and a hard place right now. go after tallulah and hurt chayanne's feelings, or stay with chayanne and risk tallulah getting kidnapped or hurt by q!forever. i have been in this exact moment arguing with my sibling with my mum trying to calm us down without 'taking sides' or 'playing favourites', which i honestly think chayanne is feeling right now.

from the moment tallulah came into their lives, its all been about her. and i am NOT saying this in a negative way. her internet issues make her more vulnerable, she is younger, less experienced. but chayanne still is a kid too. and for all we talk about qphil as a good dad (which he is) he doesnt often let chayanne be a kid. hes always asking him to 'protect tallulah'. and even now. when the kids have an argument, when speaking to chayanne he is still asking for help finding tallulah.

this is a lose lose situation.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

it does something incomprehensible to my little writer’s soul whenever alex articulates a phenomenon of the writing process i’ve always picked up on and then goes on to describe it in exactly the same way

[bloos-bloo]

Remember that mushroom goddess I drew a while back? Yeah- this is her. She’s a moth now :D

MAEVE- MY BABY GIRLLL- I’m sorry if this looks so plain :’D I cannot get myself to draw my own shit lmaoo- BUT my bishop of is finally done!

Maeve is kinda from the idea of the mushroom that controls Sozo being a deity. She’s basically the reason why her followers and potential followers have such dark desires and urges. She uses her crown to empathize and use their urges to aid her. A follower wants to be able to forget their past? She gets rid of it and replaces it with something else. Which is how Sozo (at least in my AU) finds the mushroom. Maeve led him to it, promising his pains away with the shrooms.

Now, the mark on her forehead. A heart, all her followers were stamped with her mark once they joined her cult or were helped by her. (It’s an ego thing with her) My version of Sozo has this mark, and that mark isn’t past down genetically. It could only be given by Maeve.

Those who know my sozura fanchild, Aster. She also bears the heart. Unfortunately, I can’t say why cause of spoils for future fics I have planned. But I’ll leave this crappy doodle I did :D

[theusernameiwantisntavailable]

Persona 5/ Persona 5 royal spoilers ahead!

Okay so I did this WIP a while back that I discontinued but I'm still going insane about the meaning of it and also the symbolism of masks in this game and also akeshu parrallels so I need to Yap abt them

Yap session under the cut!

The symbolism of masks in this game drives my so batshit insane actually. Like. So often we see in media that people are finally free when they take their mask off (both metaphorically and literally) but in this game we see people's true forms when they put one ON.

Like the palaces are where we see people's true faces and desires. It's the place where no one can hide who they are. And yet it's one one place where you wear a physical mask and disguise and have to conceal who you are.

I could (and will at some point) write an entire essay about that but rn it's akeshu hours

Because Joker is arguably the best example of that, he becomes alive in the palaces, where his face his hidden. It's his freedom

Versus Akechi

The first time we see Akechi show his true form to Joker (and the player) is in what is percieved at the time as the real world. The entire time we work together in the palace, the place that shows who you are despite the mask you wear he hides who he is. It's only in the gritty real world that he reveals himself.

Joker in the real world is perceived (at least by people outside of his circle) as closed off and someone to be cautious around, he has a criminal record so he could be dangerous. The exact opposite of how he is in palaces, the centre of the team and a flame people are drawn towards

VERSUS AKECHI

In the real world he is a celebrity, he is loved, people are drawn to him. But in palaces he's cold and heartless, his words are cutting and he cares for no one, not hesitating to kill to achieve his goal

Opposites in every sense

THE ABSOLUTE PARALLELS IT DRIVES ME INSANEASHBANANSJAKSS

They were both ruined by the same man. They both ended up in their current predicament because of said man. They both had the potential to weild multiple personas. They both have the capability to lead. They are the exact same and yet the exact opposite

They don't need to lie awake at night and wonder what would they be like if their life had turned out slightly differently. They don't need to because they have each other. EVERYTIME THEY GO INTO A PALACE THEY SEE WHO THEY COULD'VE BEEN, THEY FIGHT WITH THAT PERSON SIDE BY SIDE EVERY NIGHT I'M GOING MAD

[buzz-cow-man]

This came to me at 3am cause i was listening to the RE FNAF musical and securitywaiter hasn't left my head since I've known about it. (putting it under cut so it's not annoying to scroll past)

Matpat in FNAF the musical is referred to as Mr Afton. So therefore Ness is related to Willy Afton in some way.

Ness is the son of musical Afton (might be willy might no be) but was taken away from him when he was young so didnt really know him but was still aware he had a dad who was an Afton.

Ness went to Freddy's a lot when he was younger and loved the place and always wondered why it shut down and became obsessed with finding out.

Something something Ness hears about what happened at the musical pizzeria and becomes obsessed with the case and likens it to the Freddy's case. (i believe in true crime/theory podcast ness)

Mike and Ness meet when Mike takes Abby to the diner after the events of the movie. something something they end up friends (boyfriends??) and talking about the pizzeria (i also believe in ness breaking in to Freddy's)

Somehow the name afton gets dropped into conversation and Ness realises that his dad was an Afton and very much responsible for the murders hes been obsessed with.

Then either angst where Ness goes insane or hurt/comfort with Mike cause Ness found out these murders are related to him. idk i like both.

Also Ness singing baby i love you from the fnaf musical to Mike. thank you.

[emotional-fandom-soup]

Thinking about the relationship between Tuvok and Vorik, and how despite following the same set of principles, they still have wildly different personalities. And they both know this. They know they're not compatible in that way and that if not for voyager, neither of them would interact with the other at all. But they also know that they're the only two vulcans still left on this ship.

And I know Tuvok might be able to cope with that given his friendship with Janeway and how close he's gotten with Neelix and well... everyone.

But Vorik? (This is all just projection cuz sadly we don't get to know much about him BUT-) imagine that voyager was his first posting, and he's just out here with little to no experience on humans and without having been able to form proper bonds yet or to fully learn to regulate his emotions, and he's trying so very hard to integrate but he doesn't quite know how.

And how Tuvok sees him and thinks 'ah yes, a child in need of guidance' but then notices how incompatible they are and so whenever the two interact it's just this quiet understanding of biologically, culturally- we are the same, but Respectfully I Do Not Like You

[w0niecult]

taking this pic with yours and death magnetic era!james’s baby :(

— mini me ☆彡

soft baby coos fill the room as you both gaze down at your sweet daughter.

Her chubby little fingers peeking out from her blanket, sleepy eyes threatening to fall shut at any moment now.

“She’s incredible,” he whispers.

He leans down to pepper her face with tiny kisses, your little girl rewarding him with an adorable gummy smile.

“She looks like you,” you hum, looking up at him with nothing but love in your eyes.

“Are you kidding? she’s your little mini-me!” James laughs.

Your daughter let out a loud huff, seemingly offended by her dad’s remarks.

“Oh well, excuse me, little lady,” you retaliate playfully.

“See? She has your sass, 100% you right there,” he adds.

You lovingly caress her little hand with your finger, softly gasping when she grabs it with her impressive baby strength.

“James, James, go take a picture, quick!” You whisper.

james pulls his phone out, his hand holding her smaller one, and snaps a quick photo of the adorable scene in front of him.

he moves towards you and softly kisses your forehead, “thank you for giving me our beautiful daughter.”

[demeterdefence]

do you think that the SA with apollo was planned from the start? lots of people seem to think rachel meant it to just be bad sex and then retconned it to be assault

oof, that's a tough one. i have definitely seen that argument / belief in anti lo circles and several other lo critical blogs have discussed this in far more depth with far better understanding than i, so i won't novel spam the dash, but i am honestly and genuinely torn on it tbh.

like it wouldn't surprise me if that's true, because rachel has demonstrated over and over how poorly she understands consent, safe dynamics, and just female agency in the first place. there are definitely some aspects of the initial assault that, looking back on it now, made me wonder. considering how rachel's been trying to retcon some of this out it's difficult looking back at the assault and wonder what exactly rachel's thought process was in the plot as a whole.

that being said, i did not start reading lo until long after rachel was fully fleshed out on webtoons, so i could not even begin to say how she was on tumblr, or anything before the season 2 finale tbqh. and i can give her the credit on this at least, i have always viewed the assault as 1000% no doubt no question assault. genuinely it scares me if rachel wrote and drew that whole thing out and didn't know it was rape, because for many many many people, myself included, it was just so blatantly familiar and clearcut as rape.

it's one of those things that i just can't wrap my head around because it has not been resolved, or really addressed with persephone being in charge of her own healing. it keeps getting thrown in as a kind of hurdle for people to cross, and apollo has never been taken to task for it, punished for it, faced any splash back. even when daphne finds out what he did, she's immediately put into the position of running for her life, and then when she's finally free she just ... doesn't tell anyone?

what's even more concerning is that we see numerous male characters in the text play fast and loose with consent, and rachel really wavers on whether it's bad or not. ares keeps hitting on persephone when she clearly doesn't like it, and he usually ends up getting the narrative coming down on him; zeus lies to demeter to trick her and that gets handwaved away to make room for the bad blood between demeter and hades. hades grooms persephone and then initiates sex when she's in the middle of a bad mental health spiral (obviously just my interpretation of it but i viewed a lot of that scene as persephone having an anxiety attack, and regardless of whether that's canon or not, she's definitely not in the right space for hades to initiate some weird ass daddy dom routine.) so rachel seems to understand what consent is to some degree, but the issue of consent disappears depending on who is asking for it. rachel makes it clear that hades is totally fine and doing the right thing for persephone, whereas if we saw zeus doing that same thing to hera, the narrative would definitively label zeus bad. so whether rachel always intended that scene to be rape, or figured it out later, i think the big question is: why aren't all the characters held to the same standard of consent, and why are so many female characters constantly the victim of men who do not ask?

[toomanylegos]

MAG Episode 200

I decided to write down my thoughts on the final episode in a completely separate post. I felt like I would have lot to say and analyze after the episode was done and it would've been too much for the reblog chain I made.

I was right.

So, I started listening to this podcast ages ago. Like I mean sometime early last year and then stopped; forgot everything that happened and restarted from the beginning then proceeded to take long breaks in-between more upsetting episodes to keep me sane.

I went into this as someone who doesn't really listen to podcasts and doesn't have much interest in tragedies. I'm more likely to pick an animated film or an action anime or a fantasy novel or a short hurt/comfort fic than a 200 episode horror tragedy podcast.

Buuuuuuut my dearest Eggo had introduced me to the characters and the story. They talked about how much they loved the horror elements, the characters, the world; she encouraged me to give it a listen and reassured me that it was completely worth it. Obviously, she convinced me.

Despite the fact that my soul is shattered due to the emotional series finale, I'm so glad I gave this podcast a chance and I'm glad Eggo rambled about it to me. If they didn't, I wouldn't have come to a wonderful realization...

Tragedies are heartbreakingly beautiful.

I loved learning about these characters and seeing how they dealt with these horrible situations and impossible odds; I had to take so many breaks because if I binged MAG for too long I would become completely miserable due to the pure agony that Jon and everyone around him goes through.

However, there were always these little moments in between the agony. These small conversations between characters; a private reflection; a light joke. A pressure release for the audience that reminded me what, I believe, tragedies are meant to do -- highlight the beauty in the painful and be a cathartic outlet as well as a lesson.

I still don't like angst very much. I don't see the appeal of going into a piece of media that has no sense of comfort in it. Funnily enough, despite the genre space it sits in, MAG is comforting to me.

It brought me the love story of Jon and Martin -- together til the very end and learning to communicate and be with each other. Something that came to me at a point where I am considering pursuing a relationship myself and fear the hurdles I may face. Their story put my own worries just a tad at ease. The way I related to them and the way their fears are handled in the story helped -- are still helping me -- handle my own.

It brought me themes of humanity and monstrosity and how thin of line that can be. It brought me into worlds of flesh, and dark, and sky, and twisting corridors that made my head spin and my heart race.

Most of all, it brought me hope -- something I only realized in episode 199. The hope that even when your world is ending there is something that can be done. The faith in a chance that things can be better if you decide to take that leap.

That good old saying...

"It's always darkest before the dawn."

Now, after finishing The Magnus Archives, I can move on.

So, as I type this with teary eyes and a scattered brain, I would like to say that I loved The Magnus Archives; I have a better appreciation for the tragic and horrible.

I can seek out The Mechanisms and experience more of Jonny Sims' wonderful work.

I can start listening to Rusty Quill Gaming and listen to Alex's DM style and all of the team's adventures.

I can seek out more works produced by the wonderful people over at Rusty Quill.

And most of all, I can catch up with The Magnus Protocol and I can finally say...

They put my bois in the fuckin' 'puter

[doesntseeyourbeauty]

personal post but I’ve been mia all day but for anyone wondering - my surgery went well, we just didn’t get the results we were expecting but it’ll take me about a week or two to fully recover. have to keep an eye on my incisions but I’m taking it easy so far.

I’m home and just tired but otherwise doing well!

[cinematicnomad]

it's like a decade+ later but i really am convinced that my queer lit professor had a crush on me in undergrad and really, fuck me for not realizing i was bi earlier bc i would have pounced on that.

[fuwushiguro]

having a breakdown so im thinking im gonna delete all of my socials forever, i absolutely hate myself and found out someone i trusted to be kind and honest to me hasnt been kind or honest at all. ive been betrayed massively and i hate everything i am and everything ive created. im so ashamed of myself and i am genuinely sorry to you all, to any of you who have ever read my fics im so sorry that ive put you through reading literal garbage. ive tried so hard my entire time here to make quality content and things i can be proud of and things i can share with you guys but thanks to my "friend" it has really hit me like a ton of bricks how worthless i am and how horrible my content truly is. im just so sorry i couldnt be better, im so sorry im me and not somebody more talented. i love you all very much and despite my poor writing quality im so genuinely happy to have made some amazing friends and created some great memories. im really sorry for everything.

[moon-blanket]

Two posts in one day !!! And Milo's back !!! :')

Milo's yellow is Such a good shade by the way.

Oh no, is the CloseKnit case not reopening after everything at the Summit ? DUMP come ON dude. LET EM HAVE IT MILO !!

Him reassuring Sweetheart that they are a good person and that his rant wasn't directed towards them. How he's concerned how their job cares so little for them, while they're trying to actually do good with what they have.

Milo worried about Sweetheart, because he saw what that kind of stress did to his dad (though he makes it perfectly clear that his choices in handling that were of his own accord). :(( It's a hard job, on all fronts. With very little reprieve. But Sweetheart wants to help people, not gain power-- but that kindness can be taken advantage of in a million different ways.

And he's right ! It is dangerous ! No access to proper resources when one's life is constantly put on the line is Not very healthy !!

But above all the worry, he still respects their choices-- even if it's to dive into the deep end. He just wants his partner to be Okay. Safe. Supported in what they believe. :((

Their Hug :(( The nervous exhales, ourugh i'm Not okay.

They're not going all-in yet ! Thankfully ! More associates of CloseKnit. These roots are spreading out wide huh.

That "Hey. I love you." RAAAAAH. And he clears up that it isn't a guilt-trip at all, but he wanted to let them know how it affects them-- and he always wants to be Honest with them. :'))) I'm going Nuts. Forever.

And then they go make Dinner together :') what if i just Cry. I love those two so much.