#I am forever drawn to those hard to ship muses

[zangyo]

[Every day I suffer because Nanami is so difficult to ship on a romantic level which always make me lowkey worried it comes across as me uninterested when in actuality, my muse is just difficult to ship fkjdshfks. He is canonly avoidant of relationships to this extent because he doesn't want anyone to suffer that kind of loss, and getting into a serious relationship like that with someone is setting them up for that when he knows he can die at literally any time. He's strong, but all sorcerers have their limitations and all sorcerers, if they continue their line of work, will eventually encounter a curse or curse user that can counter their abilities either through cunning usage of their own, through a misstep (i.e., arrogance), or just a difference in technique / power. In his mind, it is irresponsible for him to get close to someone to that extent as a result of this; hence why he prefers waiting until he retires to attempt to live some semblance of a normal life. So there is work involved to get him to take that kind of chance even knowing how much it would hurt the other party.]

[tartareus]

Do you condone/ship incest? I was reading your rules and got confused about your sentence where you said if people are uncomfortable with fictional consensual incest this isn’t the blog for you. Except Incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction

hi there, friend, how do you do?

while i'm not particularly fond of anons (nex time you'd like to discuss something regarding my rules and/or character portrayal, i strongly encourage you to do so via ims - i don't bite, and if our points of view don't quite match? that's alright, i promise i'll leave you in peace :) ) for various reasons, i'm so glad you've read my rules (that probably makes you one of the few who follow me - at least i presume you do, idk - who has done so, so thank you so much!), i cannot stress enough how important they are to me. if i happen to follow you, rest assured that i have read yours (unless, ofc, i couldn't find one in your blog - in any case, if i happen to accidentally break one of yours, just hmu or gimme a nudge).

considering that you've asked more than one question, i'll answer to you in separate sections - needless to say that while i break it down your questions, the answer might become a little longer than usual (again, i'm sorry). i'll keep this tagged, in case any of my followers don't feel like reading about this. without further ado, let’s dive in.´

“do you condone/ship incest?”

short answer? nope. but that is not a black or white question i’m afraid. no, i – nox, the human behind this blog of fictional characters – personally do not condone incest , never have and never will, and  don’t ship it. i do, however, ship consanguinamory on rare occasions, and when i do happen to write it i never do it in a good light.

for those who are not familiar with the term, here’s a little bit of info about it x && x. in short, the key difference between them is: incest is usually linked abuse (a fictional example that can be used, taking in consideration one of my very own muses, in this case is margot verger – who was sadly abused by her brother in the hannibal books) while consanguinamory (the lannisters, for example, or even the sharpe siblings from crimson peak are examples of consanguineous relationships) is the consensual romantic and/or sexual relationship between members of the same family who are of consenting age.

[ personally, i find both of them gross as fuuck irl but when it comes to fictional works i may get over this first disgust and ponder more on that && take in consideration the characters arch, plot, thoughts and the whole world they are set in. ]

i suppose the turning point here is the consent. i never, never, condone any sort of abuse – not in fiction and neither in real life – and while it’s a subject that bothers me to no end in real life, when it comes to fiction i am less inclined to project into them. i may write dark and toxic relationships, but i obviously do not condone them. that’s the point here – people on this hellsite usually mix the two together (condoning something and shipping/writing it, that is) when in fact they shouldn’t even be in the same box to begin with.

let’s say you write a fictional serial killer – norman bates, tate langdon, hannibal lecter, catherine tramell (that chick from basic instinct), patrick bateman, mrs lovett and sweeney todd, kai anderson, bellatrix, grindelwald and voldemort (the list of plausible examples could go on forever…) – here and ship with them; does it mean that you, the writer, condone every single action and choice your muse does? if writing something purely fictional equals to condoning it in real life, well… the world is even more fucked up than i first thought.

you see, in this little exercise in imagination, you could’ve easily picked a good guy or gal to write, the hero; the goody two shoes. why didn’t you? well, it’s complicated to pin point why some are drawn to darker works of fiction and characters while others are not, i suppose each individual has their own reasons && i can only speak for myself when i say that i am drawn to these sort of fictional works because they the safest way to explore dark topics that pertain to human society. on my side, it’s nothing but raw curiosity.

there’s also the issue of how different cultures see these relationships. in case you haven’t noticed, i am not from the states but actually from brazil. especially in the rural area, it’s not uncommon for second cousins to date or even marry (ew, i know, pretty gross). that’s something that is luckily falling out of practice, but you can easily find it, more so in the poor rural areas that are really far from the cities.

you may have noticed that most of the sources for the terms come from a blog that advocates real life consanguinamory – but make no mistake, i don’t support it. these were the only places i’ve found as sources in a quick look online. i don’t support it irl, but whatever consenting adults are doing amongst themselves is no concern of mine – i have no say on the matter and all in all, i don’t give a damn. i just don’t like it. everything i’ve discussed here is related to fiction, consent and is only ever related to people of consenting age.

“i was reading your rules and got confused about your sentence where you said if people are uncomfortable with fictional consensual incest this isn’t the blog for you. except incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction”

to be honest with you, anon, i couldn’t possibly see how you’ve got confused with this. i thought i was pretty clear with that, but perhaps not. sorry, my english is not perfect. however, with the risk of sounding like a meme, i said what i said. if you personally feel uncomfortable or even triggered with fictional consensual incest otherwise known as consanguinamory, maybe my blog isn’t for you. not because i – as the mun –  condone it, but because i might mention it or even allude to it when i write certain characters. again, consent is the main thing here – you won’t ever see me writing that awful part of margot’s past, but i might mention it on some threads as it is part of her trauma but i will write jaime’s feelings regarding cersei and joanna’s love for tywin – and that should not be overlooked.

“except incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction” 

so far so good, am i to assume that you also believe that “murder is murder, regardless of if it is fiction or not”? should we call the police on, idk, george rr martin for killing....hell knows how many characters...at this point i’m sure not even he knows. leaving my petty comment aside (it’s the arthritis, i’m always annoyed when in pain), i see where you’re coming from; fair enough.  but you missed a big point here – consensual. i do not write abuse, even to the muses who – in the canon source material – have done so    ( like jaime lannister himself – who’s in a consanguinamorous [therefore, falling under the category of fictional consensual incest] relationship with cersei – who abused his sister next to their son’s dead body [ yeah, jaime apologists, i’m out to get y’all...jokes aside, i do not acknowledge people claiming that cersei manipulated him into going to bed with her, while they are both shitty and toxic as fuck people, their relationship is mutually messed up – gag if you must but jaime lannister is far from innocent angel ] )     in the past. i. don’t. write. it. but i do write jaime’s feelings for cersei because they are canon and are also a big part of the character he became.

all of that, of course, has to do with my own position on the “war” between the people who believe fiction has a great power and influence over reality vs the ones who do not believe in that. personally, i find it hard to believe that fiction is a brainwashing tool rewiring people’s brains  - i find the idea itself ludicrous, the ones who strongly stand for that aren’t that different from flat-earthers and people who believe in reverse racism tbh – but i do acknowledge the influence media has on society. its not nearly enough to turn someone to the “dark side” alone by itself – those who claim that videogames, for example, made them violent most likely already had something different and perhaps wrong with them before the games triggered something. i don’t believe that media creates things on people, but brings buried things (fears, feelings, emotions, hopes) back to the surface. it’s all about the stimulus.

if you wanna be scared, watch an horror movie; if you wanna be happy, a comedy video.  wanna feel warm inside and live unrealistic romantic expectations vicariously through fictional characters? read a 50.000 words slow burn fluffy happy fanfic of your otp at 3 am even though you gotta wake up early in the following morning....

point is, they are not creating things, they are bringing forth responses from you that were already there in your brain (everybody has laughed before and felt fear, it’s part of human development). and how you react to certain content is entirely to you and your past. say, if you drowned as a kid on the sea - and had trauma from that - the idea of watching titanic is not so fun, is it?

it’s not my place to decide what you should do, that is entirely your own choice to make, just be aware that, as i’ve stated before countless times, i may write dark topics that may or may not be triggering to some.  i do so because it is my blog, and i don’t react so harshly to this content (in fact, i love horror, thriller and dark fictional stuff – meanwhile i dread the thought of rom coms, hell knows why??) for i am lucky to be able to separate fiction from reality. basically, whilst writing a villain, i myself do not become one in real life – that part remains in fiction only and doesn’t affect me.

that is not a constant, sure. i don’t just write dark shady stuff – there’s plenty of fluffy shit on my blog, but i like to warn people beforehand to make sure we are all on the same page. it’s for your own comfort, i suppose, because i may not understand certain points of view on fiction but i will always defend your right to be comfortable and safe.

so yes, if you aren’t feeling well at that notion, please unfollow and block me if you must – i never wish to cause any discomfort to anyone – however, before you do so (that is, if you do so) i beg you to just send me an im warning me beforehand, please? that way i can block you – and your other blogs as well – so the chances of me running into you again and causing you discomfort will be minimal. that way we’ll both be on own respective lanes and happy about it. i mass follow very often and don’t usually know which blogs belong to whom (uh, did that make sense? my latina ass is not used to using whom in a sentence....), i may follow another blog (or the revamped blog) of someone who has blocked me and never even realise it – that’s not me following you around and stalking like a total creep, that’s probably me not even remembering who you are. again, sorry – i don’t mean for this to come off rude or anything but???? its the truth? you know the drill, big following list, big followers list (well, big for me tbh, i cannot remember the name or alias of 600 people for the life of me, excuse me if my memory doesn’t serve me right), hard to keep track. there will be no witch hunts, at least on my part, because i deem them to be childish and way too dramatic for my taste. if you’d like to speak in private, adult to adult, i’m always game – i dread vague posting, i personally see it as a pathetic and weak trait. 

as long as you’re civil, so am i.

either way, do whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe on your blog – your  mental health is far more important (to me, and hopefully to you as well) than a hobby, than tumblr, rp or whatever fictional stuff someone’s writing or reading; you are responsible for your own online experience, and i am responsible for mine. that’s an empowering thing that should be reminded more often.

i truly hope i’ve managed to answer whatever doubts or questions you had in mind, if not my ims are always open and so is my discord. once again, thank you for reading my rules and stay safe!

edit; my dumb ass forgot to drop my disco handle, since i change often. it currently is   DOCTOR BITCHCRAFT !!! | 𝒏𝒐𝒙#1398

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.  (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Subversa and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for letting us get to know you a little better.

Many of our members will be familiar with your stories which include This Time, Improbable Felicity and of course, The Love You Take.

Okay, let’s jump right in.

What's the story behind your pen name?

My tagline on LiveJournal was Subversive Subversions, and that kind of says it all about me. I like to stir the pot

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

I identify most with Hermione, the book-loving swot. Oddly enough, on the various Sorting tests I’ve taken, I always Sort into Ravenclaw. (Until I took the Pottermore test, where I Sorted into Slytherin; I blame years of living in Snape’s head).

Do you have a favourite genre to read? 

I grew up reading voraciously. My first genre of choice was romance. As an adult, I began reading thriller/suspense books, and I really didn’t come back to reading romance until I began writing fanfic.

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

It would be a toss-up between Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, and Jane Eyre. I see shades of SSHG in them all.

At what age did you start writing?

I took my first run at writing when I was eight years old. My parents, however, discouraged the idea of me being a writer, and even though I started a number of stories over the years, I never finished one until I began writing fanfic in my forties.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

It was in April 2005, while I was impatiently waiting for HBP to be published. I was noodling around the Internet and I stumbled over Mugglenet. As I was gobbling up all the content, I found a link to their fanfiction.

I perused the genres, and under romance, I found the pairings. When I saw SSHG, I was horrified. So of course, I had to read something.

I read The Long Wait by ancientgirl, and I couldn’t stop. I was completely enchanted, and I thought to myself, “I could do this.” So I started writing Master of Enchantment.

I have to say that Potterverse, and specifically the SSHG fandom, became my obsession and occupied all my thoughts for several years. I pretty much read nothing but fanfic and did continual re-reads of the HP series during that time--this from a woman who previously read 3 novels a week.

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

JKR may not know it, but her greatest creation is Severus Snape, the antagonistic protagonist.

I have always been driven by Snape’s plight. It is the theme I am most drawn to in stories I read. Over and over again through my years of active fanfic writing, I tried to give him redemption and the happiness he deserves.

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

I watched the birth and rise of the Sherlock BBC fandom on LiveJournal, and I saw a number of friends go over to that particular dark side. I read some of the fic, but was never tempted to write it.

As a favour to a friend, I wrote a Twilight fanfic story for a gift exchange on LiveJournal (it was awful).

So, Potterverse is really my only fandom.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

I basically hated book 7. The whole Deathly Hallows thing felt like something JKR introduced out of thin air. I hated the interminable camping trip. I hated the epilogue (except for “and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew”) and the idea that you must marry the person you crushed on in high school.

Mostly, of course, I hated the death of Snape.

So my change would be to have Snape survive, be vindicated in the eyes of the world, and live to earn the happiness he had never known before.

My favourite fanon thing is the myriad ways we have of making Snape survive Nagini’s attack.

Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet?

I always listen to music. Every piece I have ever written has its own soundtrack. I have piles of CDs from the time before I had an iPod, with the name of the current story I was writing scrawled on it in Sharpie. The longer pieces had soundtracks that evolved over the course of the story. There are songs that still pierce me with the memories of what I felt when I wrote. Music is an integral part of my process.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

Wow. This is a hard question. I’m sure that any list I create will be missing an important story. Nevertheless, here are some, in no particular order:

Care of Magical Creatures

She Was Beautiful to Him

Guard... Check... Mate

Second Life

Big Name Death Eater

Marry a Choice

The Absinthe of Reason

I'll Never Take Advantage

Irresistible

The Bookshop

The Price of Madness

King of Swords

Denial

No Loyalty in the Moonlight

You Can't Have One Without The Other

The Language of Flowers

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

I am a total pantser. It means I can write myself into a corner and have to write myself out again.

What is your writing genre of choice?

Forever and always, romance. Often with a side of erotica.

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Transcendent Quality of Remembrance, because there were two timelines running and it was an intricate plot device. It is also one of the most heart-wrenching stories I’ve ever written.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

I have to admit, the unexpected always crops up as I write. I’m one of those people who believe without apology in my Muse.

As for what I learned, I found that writing the entire story before trying to post it meant the story would hang together better without me having to write myself out of a corner. I probably went back and changed the first chapter seven or eight times due to developments in the plot.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

Everything I write is intensely personal to me. I am immersed in my story, and I feel every emotion. It is the only way I have ever written. I don’t think I could write something I didn’t feel. So it’s neither easier nor harder. It is what it is.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

Georgette Heyer, who wrote a large number of Regency romances, was and is a huge influence on my writing. I think I absorbed her turns of phrase and plot devices and romantic hero figures through my skin. It absolutely shows in my writing.

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

Not my coworkers or family outside of my husband and children. My best friend knows I write fanfic.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"?

For me, it’s the only way I can do it. I have to be consumed by the basic idea and let it live in me as I write. I write the stories I want to read about the subjects that fascinate and inspire me.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

During my active fanfic writing years, I was immersed with my audience. At that time, SSHG Fandom pretty much lived in LiveJournal, and I was active there every day. I was not very good at answering reviews, but I tended to put author’s notes before and/or after chapters as a way of engaging with my readers.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

To write the story I want to read. To fall in love with my protagonist.

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

Walk away from the computer and pick up a pen and pad of paper.

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Many, many things about my romance with my husband were fodder for the romances I’ve written.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I am striving to complete my first novel of original fiction. It’s the beginning of a trilogy. All have been written (first draft), and the first has been to a professional editor. I’m striving to complete a draft with her suggestions.

It’s about a swotty girl and her teacher. (shock)

They live in a magical world with conflict. (further shock)

There is lots of sex with a BDSM twist.

The protagonist is (in my heart) Severus Snape in disguise. He has his own brand of physical unattractiveness and a mesmerizing presence.

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Write what’s in your heart. Use a good beta reader. Take constructive criticism in the spirit it is offered. Ignore trolls.

Thanks so much for giving us your time.

[league-of-temptation]

What are your favorite ships for each girl

This question is surprisingly difficult to answer, because there are so many characters in League and other Fandoms i like and would love to try~ I am very open to many, many ships and i do not have just a single favorite ship for either of them, per se (I’m shipping trash) So really all are welcome to message me and plot something out~ (Both canon characters and OCs!) (Just keep in mind i mainly ship them with female muses only) 

But there are some ships i think work especially well with my versions of the temptresses~ (I am assuming you are referring to ships within the league verse) (And a lot more might be added, should i get to RP some different ships and feel that the chemistry is really well~)

————–————–

For Ahri those would be : 

Xayah (Because my Ahri does still care about her heritage as Vastaya and she does feel horrible about what happened to Xayah’s tribe and would wish to show her, that she isn’t alone in this world)

Jinx (I love Jinx to death as a character and i see Ahri having an almost maternal kind of romantic affection towards her. She does feel that Jinx causes so much havoc, because she is actually really lonely and just longs for attention. So Ahri would wish to take her solitude away)

Irelia (Ahri sees the Bladecaller as a very strong and brave woman, admiring her resolve to protect Ionia with everything she has. But she also feels attracted to her beauty and grace, that she so often displays in battle through her mesmerizing dance-like movements)

Sona (Ahri thinks that the Maven of the Strings is fascinating. She loves music and dance, so she admires Sona’s soothing songs and the way she brings healing and solace to those who need it. The fox would love finding herself in her caring embrace any time)

Katarina (Something about the sinister blade has struck a chord with the fox. Beautiful, dangerous and yet passionate..very much like Ahri loves her partners to be)

Lux (The gumiho thinks that the light mage is incredibly endearing and would love sharing her experience as a woman with the young mage~)

Qiyana (The beautiful and prideful, perhaps considered even overly boastful empress of the elements. Ahri would love to show her that there are things worth admiring apart from only herself.)

————–————–

For Elise i have :

Syndra (I absolutely love this ship because ask-syndra’s Syndra is so adorable and absolutely perf *Swoons* And she made me love this ship even more.)

LeBlanc (With both being effectively forever young and Elise once having been a part of the Black Rose, I would see Elise still regarding LeBlanc as a close friend and ally, whom she harbors a lot of feelings for)

Kalista (Elise sees Kalista as one of the only good and redeemable aspect of the Shadow Isles, where everything has otherwise become twisted and cruel. She harbors great interest in the Spirit of Vengeance and would love getting to know about her more)

Soraka (Soraka’s incredible kindness and mercy, willing to help anyone in need, even at the cost of her own well-being; has captivated the spider queen. She would long to protect and preserve someone so benevolent and beautiful. And she would be overjoyed to feel the starchild’s care. )

Cassiopeia (There is something very fascinating about the beautiful Serpent to Elise, having been turned from a human to a more..inhuman form herself. she would be intrigued to enter more intimate relations with her.)

Senna (Another victim of the Shadow Isles, yet her resolve and tenacity brought her back from the abyss. Elise sees her as one of the other few good beings, that was to be found oh those cursed Isles, even though she knows Senna wasn’t there voluntarily. She admires the sentinel of light’s ambition, seeking to end the suffering of the souls trapped in the shadow isles, though Elise would love to mend Senna’s cursed soul..as well.)

————–————–

For Evelynn :

Akali (I love this ship because of proper-balance’s (who sadly does not seem to be around anymore) amazing Infernal Akali~ Evelynn loves spending time with her fiery goddess. Also, KD/A made me like this ship even more.)

Riven (My Evelynn knows about having to travel the world on her own, regretting her past deeds and trying to atone for them by becoming a better soul. So she would feel very empathetic towards the exile and seek out to mend her solitude)

Vi (My Evelynn has found herself fantasizing about being in the strong arms of the pink-haired officer more than she would admit.)

Caitlyn (On the same note, Evelynn has a very great interest in Vi’s partner, the beautiful Piltover sheriff. She certainly does want to know more about those “fuzzy cuffs” the sheriff keeps talking about ;) )

Neeko (Neeko is just so adorable afsahjgfh. And also because her interaction with Evelynn in game clearly indicates mutual interest :3)

Vayne (Evelynn, the shadow walker and vampire. a being of the night. Vayne, the night hunter. It would just be so lovely to see Vayne on a hunt for someone she thinks is a cruel demon, but then finding out, that Evelynn isn’t as cruel as she seems. And perhaps coming to experience herself, that the widowmaker instead is actually very caring and sensual on top.)

————–————–

There also are others,  that i generally would love to try out with either of my muses~

Miss Fortune (What’s not to love about a gorgeous, daredevil bounty hunter? Sarah knows how to have a good time and my ladies would love showing her the same. And a possible Mafia AU? Sign me up)

Lamb/Farya (Kindred) (Lamb is so adorable asdfghasd and her soothing voice makes me melt)

Tristana/Lulu/Poppy (I just think they are soo adorable and i could easily see all of my ladies being drawn to their endearing beauty) 

Ashe (Something about the young princess of the Freljord, who is brave and resolute, yet merciful and just, does fascinate the temptresses and they wouldn’t mind exploring more.)

Camille (I would really enjoy for any of my ladies to warm Camille’s steel heart and make her feel true love once again. Also dem legs)

Diana/Leona (The Chosen of the Moon and the Radiant Dawn would be a very welcome sight, both incredibly strong and yet graceful and gorgeous~) 

Fiora (Beauty, precision, grace. And a sexy french accent. What is there not to admire?)

Kai’Sa (They would deeply admire her will to protect the people of Runeterra from the terrors of the Void, even though most of them would see her as a monster herself. They’d understand and feel for her struggle and wish to mend that solitude with their affection)

Karma (They all think that the enlightened one is very gorgeous and they admire her incredibly wisdom and resolve to guide Ionia to peace. And i also find her aesthetically very pleasing.) 

Lillia (A shy, skittish little faun with scottish accent? Yes.)

Lissandra (I just really love the idea of having one of my Temptresses thawing that frozen heart of the Ice Witch)

Morgana (The fallen angel, who chose mercy and kindness over blind judgement, does resemble the same kind of change-of-heart that the temptresses themselves have had. They would love to take away the loneliness of being banished from her old home)

Sejuani (A beautiful, strong warrior princess with snow white hair and toned abs? Yes please)

Shyvana (A dragon waifu would always be welcome for any of the temptresses~)

Sivir (I would love having any of my Temptresses show her, that there are some things, that might be even more enjoyable than a good pay~)

Zyra (I love the Poison-Ivy-ish vibes she has going~ And all three of them, having been predators in their pasts, would be happy to show the Lady of Thorns, that you can do much more enjoyable things to people, that just feeding off of them)

————–————–

And there also are so many interesting and lovely OCs out there, for example @highseaqueen’s gorgeous and wonderful Hayven, whom my Evelynn has fallen for very hard.

But like i said, i really love to try out many ships, so everyone is welcome to message me and discuss about setting something up~ (Just please make sure to read the rules xP)

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

Get to Know the Writer Tag Thing

idk if that’s the actual name lol, i just copied and pasted the questions and came up with my own title ^_^;

was tagged by @queen-of-ice101, thanks babe. these are always fun to do

1. Pen or Pencil

i don’t think i’ve written fanfic on paper in forever wow, but when i did (or occasionally will do), i always used pen. i hate making mistakes and having to clumsily cross it out, but pens are smoother and don’t make noise. honestly writing with a good pen on a thick pad of paper is a stim for me

2. Have you ever drawn your OC’s?

twice. and of only one of my ocs. both for inktober 2018. other than that, not really. i’d like to get into drawing more, but i’m just really more of a writer at this point in my life. also drawing ppl??? is so hard???

3. Does your writing ever make you cry?

not that i can remember. chapter 49 in i need another story almost made me cry, but mostly when i’m thinking abt painful scenes, my heart aches. even then, once i’ve envisioned it a lot, the ache eventually disappears. unless i forget abt it, then come back to it, or if it’s just a really painful scene, then the ache never really goes away when i’m thinking abt the scene

but no, bc i guess they’re my ideas. i’m expecting them, i’m writing them, and eventually become desensitized to them

4: If your Muse was a person, what would they look like?

okay so i’m confused by the wording of the question. bc at first i thought muses could be anything. then it occurred to me that they might only be ppl??? or at least take human-like shape bc they’re, i’m assuming, based on the nine muses of greek mythology, who take human shape/form.

maybe i’m reading too much into the question. anyway, my muse has never been a person/taken human shape if i’m honest. it’s been more of an amorphous blob that i haven’t really felt the need to give shape/form to. so to tell you what it would look like as a person...don’t know if i can do that lol

my muse is way more abstract, and i’ve never felt the need to make it concrete in any way

5: Which of your pieces would you choose to be remembered for?

like most writers, i’d like to be remembered for a published book of my own work. read riordan gave me an idea to base a book around chinese mythology, and which takes place in china. who knows, i may even write it in chinese first bc i’d like to become that fluent. the trick to this answer is that right now, this idea is also just an amorphous blob rn lol. i don’t have the time to do the research or flesh out the plot/characters (i don’t even really have those two things lmao). much too busy for that i’m afraid ;_; there is a one-act play i wrote for my creative writing class i’m particularly proud of currently

if i were to pick my fanfic i’d prob have to say itps--the oc pjo story. but only bc i’ve worked so long and so hard on it, and on my oc. if you asked me again in five years, i’d probably tell you smth different.

and i mean that’s the thing to this question. i’m still super young, and i have so much time to write more and continue to grow as a writer, so to choose smth to be remembered for so young almost seems unfair, tbh

6: How much have you written or worked on your WIP so far today?

LMAO ZIP, ZLICH, ZERO

my amorphous muse has gone dormant. i wouldn’t say fled if only bc i think i’ve unconsciously made it dormant so i can focus on finishing my master’s thesis

like would i love to write??? YES OF COURSE, I WOULD BE DOWN TO WRITE ANYTHING AT THIS POINT

but when i go to write, i find i physically cannot (bc smth psychologically is going on up there; could be stress, could be writer’s block, it’s probably those two and a multitude of other things). bc part of me knows that i can’t involve myself in such a big project (even small one-shots) bc i need to be completely focused on my thesis. the other part of me feels unable to control this ability to start writing. which is the worst part

schrödinger’s amorphous muse: when will my muse return from war? my muse has already returned from war.

woe is me

7: Have you ever based a piece (or a portion of a piece) on a dream?

don’t think i have. my dreams tend to be too weird to base a piece or portion of a piece on. if i was writing a fantasy story, it may fit in better. but currently, i write stuff that is based in more realistic-fiction worlds so

like i have very weird dreams. also many of them are stress dreams related to bathrooms (ugh) and school (ugh x2). as if i want to base smth that brings me joy on smth that stresses me out

8: Do you prefer silence, a little noise (music, ambient noise, fan etc) or a lot of noise when you’re writing?

it really depends on the mood i’m in

sometimes i’ll want to listen to talking, but it has to be smth i’ve watched a million times or don’t care abt at all if i am to concentrate on writing. they could be tv shows or video essays, etc. but that’s mostly if i’m not writing like fun/fictional stuff with plot and storyline, bc the talking then just interrupts my train of thought. unless i’ve seriously watched it so much/couldn’t care less abt what i’ve put on

mostly i’ll listen to music. i don’t have playlists, as much as i wish i did. my music library just isn’t that big. i’m such a picky person when it comes to music. and also i have so many other things i want to do than make playlists honestly. like i’m envious of ppl who make playlists, and i’m not saying that those who do make playlists have nothing else to do like at all. not my intention at all. however, at the same time, making them isn’t one of my top priorities

anyway, depending on my mood i’ll listen to the same song(s) on repeat again while i write. sometimes the song matches the mood of the scene i write, but it doesn’t always have to

sometimes i’ll start a song but get so into the scene that when the song ends, i don’t turn it back on anymore bc i don’t need it. sometimes some scenes require a lot of concentration that i can’t listen to anything. i actually need/prefer silence

i’ll only listen to ambient noise if i’m trying to drown out other noises, and only when i’m writing academic papers lol

9: Do you have any routines before you sit down to write?

nope lol. some scenes i’ll imagine for weeks before sitting down to write them bc thinking abt how the scene will play out helps me fall asleep, but also helps me figure out exactly how the scene will play out so when i do sit down to write, it flows so easily onto the page

unfortunately this doesn’t happen with everything i write--only the big, emotional scenes. and even then, i imagine these scenes as movies scenes, so when i go to write, there’s a lot more detail i have to think abt and add in ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

other than that, i don’t really have any routines i absolutely need to do before i sit down to write...i mean does opening all the folders i need, including the folders on my flashdrive so i can easily save and then transfer the saved document to my flashdrive count?

10: Have you ever participated in NaNoWrimo or a Camp?

i wish! but no. never had the time. like WHY NOVEMBER DO YOU KNOW HOW BUSY STUDENTS GET DURING NOVEMBER THAT’S LIKE THE ABSOLUTE WORST TIME TO HOLD IT FOR WRITERS WHO ARE STUDENTS

and like i get that the whole point of it is to get ppl who say things like “never had the time” to write. but that’s the thing, it’s not like inktober, where it encourages a very armature artist (i.e., me) to draw at least one thing everyday. i already love to write and i already write when i can if i don’t have writer’s block and my amorphous muse wants to cooperate

so when i say “i don’t have time” it’s bc it’s in the middle of the fucking semester and i’m swamped with midterms and papers and my ga-ship which requires me to help everyone else who are also scrambling on midterm papers like jeezums i’m not bitter or anything

i know that camp tho has other sessions that aren’t in novemeber, so we’ll see if i decide to participate in those. i can really only focus on one story at a time, esp if it’s a big story i’m really invested in. so participating while i’m researching and writing fanfic would be difficult for me. also the pressure to do the research i want to do in such a short amt of time would probably not be conducive for me, just personally. esp on top of another story where i’m researching and writing (even if i do put it aside to focus on camp) but since i’ve never participated, i wouldn’t know if any of that is necessarily true

thanks again for tagging me! i’ll tag two ppl i know who are writers lol; and as always with these things, feel free to fill this out or not: @talking0fmichelangel0 @lucifers-favorite-child

if you follow me or we’re mutuals and i have failed to realize you’re a writer, feel free to fill these out but tag me so i can read your answers

[haikyuutext]

haikyuutext’s fanfic rec (yoi only)

structured as:

title

ship. word count. rating.

summary

italicized fics are my favorites!

Kintsugi

viktuuri. 114k words (INCOMPLETE). explicit.

Yuuri Katsuki is a hitman burdened with a debt he can never repay. His target: Viktor Nikiforov, next Pakhan to one of the most dangerous families in the Russian mafia.

When the two are drawn into a treacherous alliance after a mission gone wrong, the bonds of love and loyalty to family and duty begin to unravel—even as they get more tangled up in each other.

I’ve never read a story quite like Kintsugi.

not gold like in your dreams

viktuuri. 87k words. teen.

“Victor, you could have let some psychopath into your apartment.”

“Oh come on, he’s not a psychopath,” Victor chides. Christophe makes a gesture with his hand that says ‘are you seriously this naïve or are you drunk at work again?’.

“Victor, you don’t know that. You don’t know anything about him. Whose name am I going to give to the police or face I’m going to describe to the sketch artist when they find your body chopped up like Hannibal Lecter’s side dish?”

--

in which Victor and Yuuri are roommates and Yuuri has a secret

Once You Go Greek

viktuuri. 39k words. mature.

Here are three things Viktor Nikiforov's learned as a brother of Mu Sigma Delta:

1) Go for what you want.

2) Make use of what you have.

3) Everyone in Alpha Kappa Omega is an asshole.

And then he meets Yuuri Katsuki. The more he gets to know Yuuri, the more Viktor finds that he's no longer sure what he wants anymore and that might make him lose the best thing he's ever had.

Or:

A fraternity fic wherein Yuuri and Viktor are in rival frats, but they fall in love anyway.

how the mighty fall (in love)

viktuuri. 28k words. teen.

Every Victor Nikiforov fan has three things in common. 1. They have unrealistic expectations for romance. 2. They mark their calendars with the dates of his newest book releases and the premieres of his latest movie adaptations. 3. They either passionately hate or love his greatest rival, a mysterious author whose pseudonym is only two letters: “KY.”

I had a visceral reaction to remembering that this one exists.

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches

viktuuri. 197k words. explicit.

‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries.

Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.

A fucking rollercoaster of emotions from start to end.

like your french girls

viktuuri. 102k words. teen.

"Victor," Yuri begins, lowering the eighteenth sketch of the figure skater Victor drew this week, "you have a fucking problem."

--

in which Victor is an artist, Yuuri is his figure skating muse, and Yuri is so done hearing about their stupid love story through Instagram

centripetal force

viktuuri. 85k words. explicit.

Victor speaks seven languages.

(Physics isn't one of them.)

Luckily, though, he ends up rooming with his antithesis: a shy, black-haired boy who just so happens to be a physics major.

Beside the Dancing Sea

viktuuri. 186k words. explicit.

He’s finally here in this lovely and quiet little beach cottage, and the rest of the year seems to stretch out infinitely before him. Time will pass, though, and it will pass faster than he realises, but in the meantime he will stop worrying about writer’s block and deadlines and not even having the foggiest clue what his next novel’s going to be about, and live.

New York Times-bestselling author Viktor Nikiforov arrives in the sleepy seaside town of Torvill Cove to cure his writer's block. After encountering local wallflower Yuuri Katsuki at a party, he discovers that this mysterious dark-haired man has a couple secrets up his sleeve.

And Viktor will be damned if he doesn't find out just what those secrets are.

This one’s a lot, alright.

Blackbird

viktuuri. 102k words. mature.

The year is 1942, and Europe is at war. Captain Victor Nikiforov, an intelligence operative for the NKVD, has been trapped in Berlin by the German invasion of the USSR. Posing as a Nazi industrialist, his days are spent charming information out of Axis diplomats to try and keep the Red Army fighting another day.

Yuuri Katsuki, a foreign-educated bureaucrat in the Japanese Embassy, has secrets of his own concealed beneath his unremarkable demeanour. When he uncovers Victor’s real identity, it will alter the course of both of their lives forever.

[jundlcndwastes-moved]

†

Send my muse kisses you want to give them! //@bbckeswrctes​

† for a kiss to say good bye forever.

               They were a TEAM. Ever since she had first met him when they were shooting blast fire through the streets as a way of defending themselves from people she, admittedly, had provoked to begin with. They had been by each other’s sides through all of the rough times and had never once turned their backs on one another. Anna hadn’t had anything like that in a very long time, not since she had August around. They had always been by each other’s sides, doing business, traveling on his ship together. Everything had been great until he went into hiding and she was left alone in so many ways. She hadn’t wanted anyone else in her life to be honest, not really. Then Spike came in, turned her world upside down, and she kind of liked it. In fact, she’d rather not go back to the way that things were but follow him into the future.

               Anna had never thought that one day they would end up going their separate ways because of how good things were going now. A long time ago they had opened up about the people that they wanted to find. Hers was August of course, and Spike so badly wanted to find Bebop and rejoin his old crew. There wasn’t much he said about them to begin with but she could always see that they were special to him, and she respected than more than anything. As time went on, she was sure he hadn’t forgotten about them, but that he was content where he was, which was with her. Maybe it would have hurt less if she had always remembered the day might come when he would find them again.

               The day was now, Bepop turning up and wanting to have Spike back with them again. Anna had stared at him for a long time, seeing the expression on his face as he laid eyes on former crew mates…friends…family. She could see how happy he was to see them after being without them for so long. She wondered briefly if she would have that same look upon her face when finding August, if she ever found him. It had to happen to her, too, right? But seeing him like this made her stomach churn because she could see how drawn he was to them, and after talking about how much he wanted to find them and here they finally were…he might just rejoin them. Where would that leave her?

               ❝Go with them. I know you want to.❞ It was the most selfless thing that Anna could ever say to another person. Smugglers often had this bad rap about them, people claiming that they were nothing but selfish, always in the game for themselves and would they could get out of it. Anna had always thought that she was different. She did things because she wanted to, or because she wanted to help someone, because she cared. What kind of human being would she be if she begged Spike not to go with the people he’d been dying to get back to? Something squeezed her heart tightly, and she didn’t know what it was, but it didn’t mean she was going to take back what she had said. No, she didn’t want him to go. More than anything she wanted him to stay with her. He had become so important to her and God, with all of her heart, she loved him. She’d never loved anyone like this before.

               Spike had hesitated at first, because he loved her, too. The life they had began making with each other was something good and leaving it behind like this would make it feel like it never meant anything at all when the opposite was true. But Anna was a stubborn woman, and she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He’d regret it if he didn’t leave with them.❝I’m going to be fine, I promise. There’s a whole universe out there for me to see and experience, Spike,❞ Anna told him, holding back the tears with all of her might and putting on a brave face and smile for him.❝You taught me that. You showed me that I didn’t have to be on a Hutt’s leash and that choosing freedom was the best thing that I could ever do. Because of you I can do that now. I can do anything I want.❞

               Spike took her face in his hands, his eyes taking her in, memorizing everything that he could in these last few minutes that they were going to spend together. His forehead pressed against her own and he asked,❝What am I supposed to do, Ace?❞ How was he going to leave her behind like this?

               Anna’s slender fingers clung to his shirt, not really wanting to let him go at all. There had been so many hard moments in her life but right now, this felt like the hardest one of them all. Oh my God. They were actually saying goodbye, weren’t they? It didn’t feel real, like some dream she’d conjured up. But feeling his thumbs caressing her cheeks which she realized were now wet with tears she didn’t realized she’d cried while being held by him, she knew that this was real, that Spike leaving was actually about to him.❝Don’t say it,❞ she whispered, knowing that he would understand what she meant because the hardest word that they could say right now was on both of their minds.

               Spike nodded his head, not even sure if he had the courage to muster up that one word. He dipped his head down, his lips slowly capturing her own and lingering for as long as he could. He was holding himself together as best as he possibly could, though his hands did tremble somewhat with his restraint. The moment that he felt her lips pull away, even if she was just for a moment to collect herself, he could feel his heart splitting in two. He wrapped his arms around her, not wanting to let her go. Torn up inside, Anna put her arms around him, one hand gliding against his cheek and holding him close to her, kissing him back with more passion, as she knew this was the last time.

               Moments of taking each other in this intimately ceased slowly, and as her lips lingered against his own, her breath shaky and the tears hopelessly falling down her stained cheeks, she whispered,❝I love you,❞ against his lips. It was hard to look up at him after telling him this, after kissing him goodbye, after being together for so long and now having him leave her. And though it tore her to pieces, she wanted him to go with the people he belonged with, that he desperately wanted to find. Not once did she selfishly think he should remain with her because how much they loved each other. Why did being selfless hurt so much?

               ❝I love you, too, Anna,❞ he told her, using her real name instead of one of the quippy nicknames he’d used for her, like Ace, for the longest time now. Her honey brown eyes dared to look up at him at last, staring into his own. A smile tried to find its way on her trembling lips, wanting to tell him that things would be okay, that she would be okay. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but in the long run she would pick up the pieces and be happy again. 

               With those last words dedicated to one another, they finally let each each other. Bebop had plans to leave this planet soon and travel to further destinations that didn’t involve being under Imperial orders. If Spike was going to go with them, he had to leave now. One last kiss was left on Anna’s forehead before he finally turned away while he still had the courage to do so. The young woman watched as he left, seeing the faults in his composure though he did his best as he always did. There might not have been smiles and jokes to pick up the mood now, but Anna knew he’d be okay, too. He was with his crew, and that meant something. Anna, despite the flowing tears and heartache, was happy he was with them again.