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thefirstknife · 4 months ago

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The Infinite Forest

Sighs. This post has been on my mind since we saw the trailer for Echoes, because they showed us the gate to the Infinite Forest and I thought: how many people even recognise that? Let alone have been there? Or know stuff about it? It's not been in the game for over 4 years, outside of a few pvp maps.

The Infinite Forest was a victim of the yoinkening of planets at the end of Arrivals. Unlike Mars and Titan that have since returned, Mercury has not (and neither has Io) so there was really no reason to think about it until they decided to do something with that. And it appears they've decided, something I hoped they might do in Echoes, given that we've speculated from the start that it would be a Vex season.

But now that we did get the proof that we'll be dealing with it somehow, I want to get into it, and mostly because they gave us zero explanation about how is it even possible for us to consider the Forest. I'm going to have a normal time with this one. I know we'll get at least some answers in a few days, but I need to cook in the meantime so I don't descend into madness (too late). Obviously spoilers for this week under the cut, and also a long post:

What is the Infinite Forest?

How does it all work and why?

What happened to it?

Echoes

What is the Infinite Forest?

The best, and arguably only, source for this is unfortunately a vaulted campaign, Curse of Osiris. Here's a link to the campaign from Destiny Lore Vault, but there are also playthroughs around from the time it launched. It's not needed to watch the whole thing, although it is fairly short, but this is where most of the information about it comes from.

There's also the Osiris comics that accompanied the DLC; first two are available on Bungie's site. The third is only in the physical book, helpfully scanned here.

Probably the most concise explanations are from the campaign:

Reflection of Osiris: Behold — the Infinite Forest! A planet sized prediction engine, simulating trillions of realities in parallel, all geared towards a single Vex purpose. Keep going, and you'll see. Sagira: The Vex are simulating reality in here. Brute forcing the future. And before you ask: everything in here IS real enough to kill you.

And this entire lore tab:

Physically, I am beneath the surface of Mercury. That is what Sagira's sensors say. The Vex hollowed out the planet, replaced its molten heart with cold right angles. But that is not what I see. I see infinity. An infinity of possible worlds, so perfectly simulated as to be indistinguishable from the experiences I once called "reality." I can touch them, taste them, pass lifetimes in them! They grow within this machine like fruit upon a tree—no, a forest of trees, its fractal expansion nigh unmeasurable.

Essentially, the Infinite Forest is a simulation engine that the Vex use to make predictions and find possibilities that suit their goals. It's physically located inside of Mercury; the Vex dug into the planet and replaced its insides with the engine. So far it has only been accessible from Mercury, from a single gate. Putting my 7 year old screenshots here like grabbing pictures of loved ones from a photo album:

Ikora noted that Osiris spent a long time studying that gate back in the day, believing it's the entrance. And he was correct.

There is a Vex gateway near your location. Osiris spent years studying it. He was convinced it was the door to the infinite Forest. If it is still possible to find Osiris, we need to open that door.

Osiris, or rather, his reflection, also said:

First, I will show you where it all began. Mercury, untold centuries ago, before the Vex arrived. Here, the Vex planted the seed that became the Infinite Forest, and its Mind, Panoptes. Panoptes has a single purpose — reshape reality for the Vex.

To keep things simple, the campaign revolved around us stopping Panoptes from achieving the Vex' goals by using the Infinite Forest. We ended up killing it, of course. We did so by hopping around through the Forest, going to simulated pasts and futures.

But the Forest largely consists of a really weird constantly shifting space that looks like this:

Thank you past me for this really helpful screenshot. It looks like it's an open sky, but it's not; the ceiling is a solid flat surface. That is the surface of Mercury, seen from the inside of the planet. On the edges of the picture, there's two tall structures; one looks worn down and destroyed, the other looks newly built. These are the gates leading to the actual simulations. The left one leads to a simulated future and the right to a simulated past.

These structures are called "trees" and are the reason why this place is called the Infinite Forest. Each of these "trees" generates a simulation and leads there, but you have to go through this shifting reality with ever-changing platforms to reach them. This is the physical space needed to essentially "run" the Forest.

You can still see this on pvp maps Fragment and Convergence:

A lot of the stuff about how the Vex actually made this was not entirely confirmed at the time; the stuff about Mercury being converted back during the Collapse was something that's been in the lore since literally D1, but not much was known about how true any of that was or how it started and how it was done. This was somewhat cleared up later, in the first page of Trials and Tribulations (from Worthy). I say "somewhat" because like. Reading this page is an exercise for sanity:

Yeah. What this whole thing seems to be implying is a confirmation of Mercury being converted by the Vex during the Collapse. The Vex flooded the planet with radiolaria and drilled into it, changing its terraformed environment into a Vex world. Some of this is shown in Curse when we first visit the simulated past. The Vex appeared and started raising the spires and transforming the surface of Mercury into what we know it as. Its core was eventually fully replaced by the Infinite Forest.

After we killed Panoptes, Osiris essentially claimed the Forest for himself and returned there sort of indefinitely. He would leave years later, when he contacted us in Season of Dawn, though we know that he was periodically leaving anyway, since he was building the Sundial. It's not really been used for anything else, outside of various adventures and the quest for saving Saint which I went into in this post.

How does it all work and why?

It's always been kinda weird that the Forest was not a bigger deal, though it makes sense if we consider the out-of-game factors and the fans' general dislike of Mercury as a whole (which I personally think is a skill issue). The Forest was also difficult to work with so it was difficult to make new content for it which is probably why it was never really done, even though realistically, setting-wise, it should've.

It's mentioned in lore here and there, and Osiris spent his time there a lot up until Dawn. The Infinite Forest also alerted him that our actions drastically changed the Vex predictions which was serious and important enough for him to finally leave. So for all intents and purposes, the Forest was always a big deal, just difficult to implement into gameplay. This is quite unfortunate because it should've reasonably been something to use more, including explaining its danger a bit more in-depth over time. While Osiris did have a major influence over it post-Panoptes, the place was still largely Vex-controlled and they still had access to it.

So why is that dangerous in the first place? After all, it's just a simulation engine. That's true, but the danger is in how the Vex were using those simulations. By having access to a place that generates trillions of situations and possibilities, it allowed them to explore options that would normally be almost impossible to explore in-person, physically. Even the Vex, who can exist outside of time, would need to spend... well... time and resources to explore these options by simply time travelling. With the Forest, they could just generate them all at once, instantly, with no time passing outside of the Forest.

They could use this to simulate anything and then explore what would happen if they followed that possibility, which allowed them to predict more accurately. It allowed them to essentially run a certain scenario through every single possible iteration and see the outcome of all of them, then pick the option that suits them best and act accordingly. It could also let them study their enemies; by simulating many situations and observing how the enemies react in those situations, they could learn about the strategies their enemies use.

This is incredibly powerful and dangerous. But are there limitations to their simulations? Sort of... As we know, the Vex can't simulate Light or any other paracausality, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they can't try. This is where things get complicated because we lack a lot of the details about how this all works.

From what we can tell, the Forest can include simulations that feature paracausality and Guardians; it's seen in the intro cutscene for Curse where Osiris casually wanders into the Guardians raiding the Vault of Glass. It was also briefly mentioned in Lightfall's CE (page 28), where Elsie explores different timelines. In one of them, she finds Osiris wielding Stasis who tells her that he saw her wielding it:

"I saw glimpses of you wielding this power during my time in the Infinite Forest."

This is where things get complicated because we don't truly know if there are meaningful differences between normal simulations and simulations produced by a planet-size machine. The Vex, for all intents and purposes, can't really simulate Light and Guardians, but could they create simulations based on what they've personally experienced? After all, the Vex from the Vault of Glass experienced the Guardians raiding them; can they load up their memories and simply replay it? Would that even count as a simulation or is that simply just a recording that you can access within the Forest?

Is it accessible in other Vex spaces or is the Infinite Forest unique in some way? After all, there is also the Vex network as well as corridors of time. There's also some sort of overlap between them, according to Osiris:

...Vex security measures where the network intersects with the corridors of time.

There's even the implication that a simulation from the Forest could potentially escape the engine and enter the real world.

Sagira: Hey, team! Copies of the Cabal invasion are trapped inside the Infinite Forest. On the, uh, off chance one of them escapes, possibly armed with world-breaking Vex tech… Ghost: Wouldn’t be the first time. We’ll handle this.

There is also the whole question about timelines and realities and how that works in the Forest. Can you use the Forest to look into real timelines and realities, those that might be happening somewhere, or are they just projections and simulations of possibilities? Could you interact with them, and affect other timelines? This is an interesting question now that Echoes is going on with all the stuff about the Conductor and what's happening to Saint, but we currently don't know the answers.

What I think is the most likely is that the Infinite Forest is somehow unique and can offer a lot more than the normal Vex network; its simulation options are so well-developed and so powerful that it can genuinely simulate a lot more than the Vex usually would be able to, including showing glimpses of paracausality, especially glimpses that the Vex have themselves recorded in their interactions with Guardians. Then, they can use the Forest to try and build on that, essentially train the engine by feeding it trillions of data points to attempt to make accurate simulations that lead to good predictions.

And these seem to be the key words: accurate and prediction. The point of simulations is not just to look at things, it's to use them to be able to predict things, giving the Vex an advantage. This is directly referenced and discussed in the lore:

There's just one thing: if Osiris used the Infinite Forest to develop his prophecies, and the Infinite Forest cannot accurately simulate Light, how did Osiris predict the Traveler would wake? The Forest's very inability to predict this very thing is what prevented Panoptes from breaking ground with its apocalyptic calculations.

So what exactly is the Forest capable of? It can definitely show the past even if it involves paracausality. It can also show the future, though the accuracy of any future predictions may be in question, depending on the amount of paracausality involved. It's very much implied that it can also show other timelines and/or realities. And of course, it can simulate future possibilities, as well as show simulations of anything from the past; events or places alike. For example, Osiris simulated the Fundament, apparently:

Ghost: The Forest can generate so many Hive - it might as well be their homeworld. Sagira: We've thought about that. Ghost: Have you simulated the Hive homeworld? Sagira: Didn't go well.

If there are specific limitations, we're not sure what they may be. There probably are, but they're most likely deliberately not spelled out to prevent any kind of conflict with stuff they might want to add to the Forest later; like for example now, with Echoes. Because there's a lot of questions right now about the Forest now that Ikora has so casually told us we're going to be going back in there. So...

What happened to it?

As has been established, the Forest is physically located on Mercury. Or rather, in Mercury. Its one and only entrance is on Mercury as well. And Mercury has been eaten by the Witness over 4 years ago. So that's it then? Well no. Not only is the Forest on an inaccessible planet, it has actually been sealed, from the inside, before the planet was taken.

He struggled with his pack as a tempest beat on his eardrums. He withdrew his Infinite Simulacrum, impossibly small in this immense space, and with trembling fingers synchronized it to the frequency of the crack in the Forest. It ticked like a metronome and then… Silence. The Forest was sealed.

Instead of evacuating, Brother Vance decided to stay on Mercury, go into the Forest, and seal it. I go about it for a long time in this post, but basically he believed that it would be really bad if the Pyramids gained access to the Forest. He also believed that the Sundial did something to the timelines and that the Pyramids could exploit that, as well as the Infinite Forest being somehow "the key to all of this."

He also wanted to use the Forest to... spread hope. Through the timelines?

"I will walk into the Infinite Forest and spread hope, Guardian."

He essentially wanted to do something and prove that even Lightless people can still help. He appeared to be willing to die for this, which is quite strange mostly because this whole idea and endeavour wasn't in the name of Osiris. Hell, in a way, it was about doing something to fix the unknown consequences of Osiris' meddling with the timelines.

You notice Vance's hands are balled tightly at his sides. "The Pyramids draw close. Through this system and beyond, the Lightless are filled with fear. I am no Osiris, true, but in my small way, I will bring light to their darkness." There is clarity in his voice. "I will tell them they must believe."

Since I've gone into it in the other post in a lot more details, I won't go into it here again, although I could. But the point that I want to get across is that the sealing of the Infinite Forest was quite a significant part of Arrivals and the whole plot of the evacuation of Mercury (or rather the non-evacuation of Mercury; the sole reason for Vance staying was to seal the Forest).

In another post (you'll have to scroll through the back-and-forth insanity) I also mentioned how much of Vance's story in Arrivals seemed to be connected to him losing his mind about the effects of the Sundial on the timelines. It also directly links to the Perfect Paradox. All of these things have been quite prominently connected to this episode, especially the stuff with the Sundial and what Osiris has done with it and how it may or may not have affected the timelines and, most of all, Saint and the whole ordeal of saving him.

It's fairly unclear how many characters know what happened to the Forest though. The YW knows obviously because Vance told us directly. I do believe that Zavala would also know as we reported back to him, which also most likely extends to Ikora as well. Another issue is that we don't really have any specific proof that the sealing was successful or permanent. It seems like it was, but a lot of stuff could've happened in the past 4 years of Mercury being in an anomaly.

As I've mentioned many times before, Mercury is the last unsolved plot from Arrivals; as in, we genuinely don't know anything about it. Mars has returned in WQ and Ana's side of the story was concluded in Seraph. While Io is still gone, Asher's story was concluded in Defiance through Avalon. Titan returned in Deep, which solved the story of the planet and also Sloane. We know why these planets were taken (with the exception of Io, though it's fair to assume it had something to do with the Pyramidion because of Asher's story being tied to it), and we know what happened to all of the vendors. Except Mercury and Vance; two things inherently connected to the Infinite Forest.

We don't truly know why Mercury was yoinked, though it's once again fair to assume it was most likely for the Forest. But you know. It got sealed so the Witness couldn't do anything with it and we have no idea what it was doing with Mercury all this time. We also don't know what the hell was Vance on about when he talked about the "anchored timelines" and how the Forest is incredibly important to everything. Due to how unreliable he is, it could just be his usual cringefail. After all, Osiris himself did not have any plans for the Forest himself; he was upset that he'd lose it, but he didn't think anything more about it, even if during Dawn he insisted that the Forest cannot be sealed or destroyed yet.

But also I think dismissing it all is an easy mistake to make, and possibly a deliberate one. Everything with Vance is written to be as easy to dismiss as possible, but he did know certain things that were absolutely correct and real. Not to go on about the tones again, but. Yeah. And given the current situation...

Echoes

Failsafe has come up with a plan for which she needs data from the Vex. She specifically needs data that can be compared to the altered Vex on Nessus, so we need large amounts of information that hasn't been changed or messed with. She concluded that the best source of that data would be Saint's dead body. It exists in a specific space (and time) and would have this information; information that has not been altered or influenced by anything else because that Saint is dead and preserved as is.

Failsafe explained this to Ikora and Ikora agreed that this is the best source, she's just worried about how this will affect Osiris and Saint. She doesn't want us to tell them. So next reset, we're going to the Infinite Forest to find Saint's tomb again. Yay!

But like. How?

They presented this so casually, with Ikora even saying that the best "accessible" source of this data is the Forest and Saint's tomb. And I know that they know that we know that Mercury is gone and that the Forest was sealed. But they've already showed us the gate to the Forest on Nessus, twice: in the mini showcase and then in the intro to the season in-game:

The first picture is showing the gate when it's open. And yes, this specific portal effect has only ever been used for the Forest. The second image shows the gate when it's closed with that impenetrable barrier. The structure itself is different from the original; it's worn down, coloured differently and doesn't have the same tip - instead there's the weird orb and the statue. It looks far more Nessus-like, and closer to present-day Vex, or maybe future Vex. But it's guarded by Precursors, so I don't know. It definitely doesn't look like the original however.

We clearly aren't going to Mercury. And even if we were, how would we enter? Neither Failsafe nor Ikora have mentioned this little problem and it seems as if they already know that the gate is on Nessus; I assume they'll discuss the details of this in the Act 2 finale next week. But the problem is that without all of this context, how do they even explain the issue with the Forest? They can always shorten this to some reasonable quick explanation, but they still have to explain how are we entering the Forest. There's a few key problems.

Obviously, number 1 is that the Forest is on Mercury and as of now Mercury is still in the anomaly.

The Forest itself is sealed from the inside.

So far it has not been possible (or at least not known to us) to enter the Forest from any other location. As we've seen, Osiris spent years looking for the entrance and back in Arrivals he was quite upset about losing the Forest. If he simply had the ability to enter it without being physically on Mercury, then why bother or lament Mercury's loss?

It is, to our knowledge, one of a kind. It took quite a tremendous effort to build it and it requires a lot of power to run; a whole planet.

Possible solutions:

Mercury is back and Ikora hasn't told anyone yet because she doesn't want anyone to go there yet; perhaps it's in quarantine. I don't think this is very likely, but it's possible.

Opening a gate to the Forest from another location IS possible and we just didn't know about it.

Opening a gate to the Forest from another location is possible only because of the situation with the Echo; a powerful source of paracausal power can maybe help us do this remotely. So this simply wasn't an option before the Echo's existence.

The Vex and the Conductor have built or are still building a new Forest inside of Nessus this time. The Vex lost access to the original, either simply because of the anomaly or because it was sealed or both, so now with the Echo they're just doing it again, and better. So the Forest we're going into is not the original, but a new one; the assumption being that the data from the old Forest is accessible to the Vex so the new Forest can essentially run the same code as the old one, allowing us access to Saint's tomb.

The Vex and the Conductor only have to build a new gate that can lead us to the old Forest, despite it being in an anomaly and despite it being sealed. It essentially just brute forced another door.

And the possibilities in regards to it being sealed:

As I mentioned before, maybe the sealing wasn't as successful as we (or Vance) thought.

Vance is somehow still alive and he will open it for us from the inside, essentially concluding his role from Arrivals.

Maybe the sealing wasn't permanent; either the Vex could eventually counteract this, or Vance couldn't hold it closed for very long. He's a Lightless man and it's quite dubious how long he could survive inside. Maybe the seal automatically broke when (if?) he died.

If we're going with the option that this is a new gate to the old Forest, then as I said before, this may simply be able to counteract the seal.

If we're dealing with a completely new Forest, the seal may simply not even be in effect. The old Forest is sealed, but we're not going to the old one so it doesn't matter.

What I'm assuming is that Osiris could open the gate if he saw one again, so if the gate is simply now on Nessus (either to a new Forest or connecting to the old one), Osiris can just use his cubes as he did before and open it again, counteracting the seal. Vance's device used to seal it was made from Osiris' notes anyway, so I'm assuming it's something similar to the cubes. In that case it can just be opened with the same thing.

Ikora will just blast it open like she did back in Curse. Seal or no seal, new or old Forest, she doesn't give a shit,

There's an option for all of these that's basically just they don't mention it all. I don't think this is very likely, but hey. It's possible!

I've been running these scenarios in my head for days. Actually, I've been running them ever since the showcase for Echoes showed us the gate to the Forest, but this significantly increased when this week confirmed that we are indeed heading in there. And it was delivered so matter-of-factly as if there aren't any of these problems and scenarios I listed above. This is baffling me. I know there will be some explanations offered, but the setup completely blindsided me with how it was delivered. Ikora with the simple "Oh yeah the best place to grab data from is the Infinite Forest. Pack it up boys." And I'm standing there with a 8 hours long presentation asking her to explain how. She blocks my number on vannet.

Perhaps the situation is far simpler than I'm making it out to be. It would be really easy to just write the old Forest and Mercury away as being permanently lost. That way you don't have to explain or deal with any of the stuff with the anomaly or the yoinkening or Vance's shenanigans. I will obviously remain forever unhinged about it if that's the case because I simply need to know what happened, but it's the easiest way to deal with this. The Echo allowed the Vex to make a new Forest, they're using massive amounts of radiolaria and the core of Nessus to just recreate it all, then they copied all the data from the old one into it, booted it up and that's it.

But what if the seal is in effect? Or what if we're dealing with the old Forest on Mercury that's still in the anomaly? How do they plan to deal with that in a single mission? Well... We have no clue.

Bungie article lore time, but back last year in the State of the Game article, they said this about the pvp map Multiplex:

Although many of us had been thinking about a lo-fi Vex map for the Crucible, the challenge of this palette was the possible lack of player orientation in the play space. We thought bringing the Mars palette into the Vex Network realm would be a great way to mitigate this while adding an evocative look. Narratively, the space is in the middle of compiling the Infinite Forest, so this is what you’ll see in action.

Yes, while everyone was losing their mind about this article, I was looking for lore about the Infinite Forest. But yeah. It seems like they have information about it in the network and they were using it to compile that information; perhaps preparing to make a new one? Or simply using it for data.

So essentially, the Vex could have enough information about the Forest to recreate it, and better now with the Echo, which would allow us to simply bypass the anomaly and the Forest being locked, while allowing us to enter and still find Saint's tomb. This is by far the easiest solution.

But I want a conclusion on Mercury and Vance. I feel like this episode is the only time to really do that and they've been giving us so many Mercury things already, clearly showing that it was a big inspiration for it all. The music, the assets, the enemies. This includes the stuff about Saint and his grave, as well as the whole thing with the Perfect Paradox. There's still Act 3 of course and some still unknown exotic mission, but I feel like the quest that has us literally going into the Infinite Forest to revisit a place not even from Dawn, but from Curse, is the best spot to also deal with this.

I just have no idea how that's going to happen and I wanted to list out the stuff that would have to be somehow addressed and solved, even if the solution ends up being the simplest one. I also wanted to try and list some information about the Forest itself since this thing has not been in the game for years. I hope this was useful and that it explains things well.

Anyway, I've spent the whole week pacing around my room like a wild animal. Help.

In conclusion:

#destiny 2 #echoes #infinite forest #vex #nessus #osiris #brother vance #long post #lore vibing #i've been having a normal one this week #and yes that's me in the photo. don't even worry about it #needed to get this out to prepare my brain with all scenarios for tuesday #most likely it'll be something wild that i've not considered #but i'm really really interested to see how they'll explain the forest stuff. i'm very excited for tuesday #and scared for my emotions of course

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sarafangirlart · 1 month ago

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I am once again reminded that what ppl want from Medusa and Athena is actually in Io and Hera. Athena and Medusa don’t actually have a meaningful connection in mythology, she helped Perseus kill her then put her head on her aegis, that’s it. She was never a priestess of Athena and she very likely wasn’t cursed by her nor victim blamed, but that’s what happened between Io and Hera.

Like why is Medusa Athena’s “spymaster” in Stray gods? It would make more sense if it was Corone or Nyctaea.

#this isn’t even the first time I’ve seen Medusa being portrayed as Athena’s henchman #a book by Katee Roberts does this #and ships Medusa with Calypso #sure take the character who’s most well known for being assaulted by a male rapist and ship her with a female rapist #greek mythology #ancient greek mythology #greek pantheon #greek goddess #Athena #perseus #goddess athena #athena goddess of wisdom #athena greek mythology #stray gods #stray gods the roleplaying musical #medusa

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olliewrites-stuff · 2 months ago

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An Open Letter to Hera, Queen of the Gods

Hera.

I've re-written this note countless times,

And this is the best I have so far...

I was angry at first -

An uncontrollable rage

Burned its way through my dark veins

At your betrayal.

You were meant to be my hero...

And you were

For a while;

A strong, independent queen of the gods?

The protector of women?

The deity of marriage,

Childbirth,

And fertility?

You were a strong woman

Unafraid of her femininity -

You were my idol.

My younger,

Terrified,

Gay and genderqueer self

Saw you as hope -

That one day I too would be able to

Embrace my femininity,

Despite everything that made me want to

Renounce it

Because I just didn't

'fit in.'

You sit high on that pedestal

Within Greek mythology.

O Queen of the Gods,

O Goddess and protector of women,

Of marriage,

Of childbirth,

Of family,

O how the world sits rapt at your feet...

O Hera,

Doth thine throne of lies

Adequately support such an undeserving,

Holy,

Rear?

You flaunt the title of

'Goddess of Women'

With a sparkling smile,

As a gruesome history

Of unearned punishment and torture -

Cast by you onto those you

Supposedly protect -

Is hidden away.

Out of sight, out of mind,

Right?

O Hera,

O Goddess of ...

Victim Blamers,

Tell me how much longer

You are going to play the facade

Of protector,

When you have such a contrasting history

Painting a gruesome portrait on

The wall behind you?

I will admit that Zeus

Did not treat you fairly as his bride -

Ever the inconsiderate immortal being,

He spat on the marriage you held sacred

And slept with various others

Without your consent.

Having heard the stories of Zeus and his...

Adventures...

I am horrified at his history of

Taking

T a k i n g

T A K I N G

from others -

Rarely seeking their consent -

And acknowledge that,

As his bride,

You faced an unyielding world of hurt

As he broke your trust

Time and time again.

... I do not,

However,

Pardon you for your crimes against those

You supposedly seek to protect.

Io,

Alcmena,

Semele,

Callisto -

A handful of the many innocent women

(and future children)

You tortured mercilessly

For situations in which

They emerged as victims and survivors.

Zeus may have been

The Tyrant

Of Greek mythology,

But you took the crown as

The Brute.

... I realise that my mortal words

Could not possibly impact your ethereal self.

I realise that this message is no more than

Words on a page,

But

You now have one less blind admirer,

And that has to be enough for me.

Sincerely,

Ollie

#ollie writes #olliewrites #poems on tumblr #writers on tumblr #writeblr #my writing #writers and poets #greek mythology #hera #greek gods #open letter #lgbtq

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synnthamonsugar · 5 months ago

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Synnth's Fic Rec Friday . . . #2!

Inspired by the fic rec listed started by @a-driftamongopenstars and the Friday fic rec series by @flowers-of-io. I thought I would throw my hat into the ring with my own weekly(ish) series. (Tag: Synnth Recs)

A Dance for the Ages

By @endivinity

Read on AO3

Fandom: Destiny | Rating: Teen | Characters: Eris Morn, Savathun, Oryx | Word count: 4,188 | Warnings: None

Eris had been warned, as a little girl, not to go down to the marsh alone after dark. There were lights that bobbed enticingly on the horizon, beckoning her with their charming glow that she knew well to ignore and turn away from; grasping claws that look like lakeweed until an unknowing traveler stepped within their drifting clutches

I have a complicated relationship with fantasy/fae/magic AUs. I think it's easy to simply drop existing characters into a stock magical setting and call it a day. But at their best, these sorts of AUs understand the original settings and characters of a work and map them seamlessly onto a unique new world.

This is fae AU at its best, a fic that respects both its source material and offers a compelling recontextualization of its characters & events.

She is returning, the night of a full-moon. Silver horseshoes affix to her boots, making her steps weighty but for all the howling and hungry eyes shining red in between the trees, she is not bothered. Baskets of herbs sway from the heavy bindle over her shoulder. “Traveler,” an unfamiliar voice croons, so close it could almost be at her ear. “Thou'rt far from home, in this place.” It's melodic and beautiful, and immediately Eris's hand goes to the salt-kissed blade at her hip. She turns slowly, letting a silvered shoe dig into the dry dirt of the path, grounding her with intent: she will not be moved. Her eyes meet those of a woman.

One of the first things I noticed about A Dance For The Ages is the way its style pays homage to classic fairytale narration. There's a rhythm to the narration that's immensely compelling — I could not put it down once I started reading.

“Such busy folk,” a familiar oil-slick voice drips into her ears, and she startles, almost dropping her mug. A goat stands beside her, black hair forming a mantle, black raking horns, black eyes. It chews a stalk of wheat thoughtfully. “You are no mere siren,” Eris says. “Indeed I am not.” “What is it you ask of me this time?” It is a bold question, yet nonetheless accurate. A wight such as this would never appear benignly without purpose. The goat chews and chews the wheat until it is all gone, grain-husks crunched beneath teeth that carry glimpses of being razor sharp. “I bear a craving for fruits of the summer. If thou'rt diligent at pastry-craft, a pie upon the sill,” she requests, swapping to the old-speak easy as breathing. “I offer a trinket, in return.”

The dialog between Savathûn and Eris is such a delight to read, and I love the way the story leans in to Savathûn's status as trickster; always shifting shapes, always offering deals and challenges and cryptic wisdom.

The village did not baulk at her eyes, nor did they stop in their care. It is a comfort, to still be so loved, even after her desperate choices. She saved them, they tell her, as she helps deliver a stuck lamb; the season's first, and a sign of the Fell King's touch upon the land and his theft of their blessing of the coming year. It will take work, but they will work through it. She saved them, they say, and so she deserves to choose to save herself in turn. It is hard. But she is not alone.

I adore the characterization of Eris as respected wise-woman and witch, as someone who makes hard decisions but own them, as someone who faces immense hardship without falling victim.

“Sathona,” Eris whispers, and heedless of the stories and truths of the swamp's dangers, of the mud and the water and the startled frogs, she surges forward. Sathona catches her easily, braced as she is on elegantly sweeping legs and cloven hooves. “Hello, darling,” Sathona says, the smile evident in her voice for all that Eris cannot see it with her face buried in Sathona's midriff with the force of her embrace. “Thank you for the gifts.”

The actual Savathûn/Eris aspect of this fic is wonderfully light-touch and tender, walking the line between platonic love, romance, and some secret other thing. I love the blurring of Eris' and Savathûn's identities — shared struggles and vision — in a way that slots perfectly into their canon.

Genuinely, this is one of the most refreshing and bittersweet and beautiful fics I've read in a long while. What are you doing still reading this review! Go read it instead!

#destiny #savathun #eris morn #oryx #synnth recs

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sicparvismorrigan · 6 months ago

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Friendly Fire - Chapter Two: Acting Up

Ellie Thibodeaux holds arguably the worst job in Bridgehead City. She’s not a cook. She’s not even a cleaner. She’s the resident RDA psychiatrist, and her next assignment is helping the formerly deceased Project Phoenix come to terms with being brought back to life as an entirely different species.

Enter Colonel Miles Quaritch, the most reluctant, and most challenging patient she’s ever had the displeasure of treating.

James Cameron’s Avatar - The Way of Water (2022)

Recombinant Quaritch x ofc (currently professional/platonic, enemies/annoyances to friends, could be more & Quaritch x Paz Socorro

Warnings: mild swears

Tagging: @kmc1989 (lmk if you want added to the taglist!)

Read on Ao3

Chapter One | Chapter Three

Acting Up

That’s just the Colonel, sweetheart! Try harder next time, m’kay?

Try harder?

Like he wasn’t some impassable brick wall of a man…alien…whatever…that she had absolutely zero common ground with?

Nope. Just try harder.

Sure thing, boss.

Luckily, her other patients were gradually warming up to her. Wainfleet was surprisingly forthcoming, after he figured out that Tibbs wasn’t the only one who liked comic books. Just a big kid with a gun. Absolutely nothing to dissect there.

Zdinarsk had shyly asked for help managing her braid, then invited Ellie to “come hang” with her and the other recoms sometime, whatever that meant.

It was only Quaritch who was being deliberately obtuse.

But Ellie had another problem. She was the talk of Bridgehead. Sure, for the reason that the Colonel was her new patient. And for the bigger issue that somebody had blabbed about her missing arm. Now there were stares and sly sideways looks wherever she went. She couldn’t stand the whispering. It made her mad as all Hell that she was no longer invisible. That everybody knew her by sight and reputation, for her handicap.

I am not a victim. I am a survivor.

The mantra her very own ‘shrink’ had given her as armour. Over and over and over in her head.

Session Two did not get off to a good start. She’d have bet her next paycheque on Quaritch ditching her couch.

In fact, he’d shown up early. She was the one who was late by being on time.

Jeez, she couldn’t stand him. She was going to be extremely unprofessional in 3…2…1…

“Off the record, before we begin-“ Ellie spoke up as she lowered herself into her human-sized chair. “Can I have a word with you?”

“Sure thing, shrink-wrap.”

”Stop-“ She grumbled and rubbed her temples. “Hm. Kindly refrain from calling me that, please.”

“Since you asked nicely.”

Ellie sighed with relief. “Thank you.”

“I’ll save it for special occasions.”

She groaned out loud.

“And bank holidays.”

“You-…” Ellie faltered before regaining her rhythm and setting her mouth in a firm line. “Ugh, whatever.”

Quaritch was looking at her expectantly.

“So-“ She demanded. “Who’d you tell about my arm?!”

“Say what now?” He seemed genuinely surprised.

“People have been talking about me behind my back, since our last session.” She complained. “I don’t appreciate that. Not one bit.”

“Hey there-“ He held up a hand to hush her. ”I ain’t said shit about your rusty-ass arm!”

She regarded him suspiciously. His expression was genuine enough. ”Really?”

“Not a word.” The Colonel actually looked offended. “What, you think you’re the first handicap I’ve worked with?”

Of course she wasn’t. There was another.

“You ain’t special.” He huffed. “So you done actin’ up? Or what?”

“Well, somebody said something.” Ellie muttered.

“Good thing I’m not paying for your so-called help, ‘cause so far: not impressed. Un-pro-fess-io-nal.” He emphasised each syllable, making her cower down in embarrassment. “Now, where were we?”

Ellie hated it. Couldn't stand how he just took control over anything she tried to do.

”Oh yeah. That’s right…“ He leaned closer to her, fixing her with an intense stare. “What bit ya?”

”Nuh-uh.” Ellie shook her head. “Not doing it.”

“Come on now, Doc. Holding out on me will get you nowhere. I’m a patient man.”

Now she had him.

Ellie cocked an eyebrow, glancing up from her notebook. ”Man?”

A cheap shot. And it clearly stung like a mother. Fight instincts of both human and alien beast kicked in. Fists clenched and fangs bared before the Colonel could collect himself.

She didn’t so much as blink at his intimidation tactic and once again the room was plunged into silence.

“Hey now. Are you done-“ She spoke calmly, mimicking his tone, letting her lips curl upwards into a smirk. “-acting up?”

”Smart mouth.” He nodded slowly, almost appreciatively. “So tell me, what exactly did you plan on doing next?”

“Next?” She was lost.

“I could give you a disciplinary for your attitude towards a superior officer.” Ellie felt the beads of sweat break out on her forehead, even in the air-conned space. “Easily. But I’m interested to see how this plays out, so I’m gonna let that one slide.”

”Why?” She didn’t understand.

“That was a nice little spark.” He grinned. “Took you long enough. But I want to see if I can get you breathing fire.”

Ellie blinked, taken aback. Did he just green-light her to cuss him out?

It would be plumbing the depths of professional conduct for sure, but they didn’t exactly teach you how to deal with the dead resurrected in medical school.

Quaritch rolled his eyes at her, still gawping at him stupidly.

“Listen. Ardmore isn’t the only one around here who can get you the things you need.” He spelled it out for her. “Or want. So play nice.”

“Huh.” She mulled the thought over. Interesting.

“Talk.” He urged her.

Ellie sighed heavily. He really wasn’t going to drop it. May as well put the elephant in the room out of its misery.

Here we go.

”A former patient attacked me. I wanted to refer him to someone else, and he didn’t take it very well at all.” She explained quietly. ”He choked out my receptionist…then came after me.”

Quaritch nodded, his expression neutral. No shock, but no sympathy, no condolence either. “How’d you get away?”

There was a long pause.

”Barely.” She swallowed the bile back down as she finally answered. Trickle-feed the information.

Make the bond.

“I see.” The Colonel remained stony-faced. “Been there, kid.”

“Uh-huh.”

Not a victim not a victim not a victim.

“Listen, you ain’t the only one here got bit by something you staked your trust in.” Ellie’s head jerked, when Colonel spoke again, he sounded surprisingly gentle. “You just have the mighty fine privilege of still being alive in the traditional sense.”

“For the record-“ She admitted “-I spoke out against bringing you back, Quaritch.”

Hoo boy, that might sting too.

“That’s cold, girly.” The snarl was lingering around the corners of his mouth again, fangs glinting with every word. “You wanted me to stay dead, huh?”

“No rest for the wicked.” She answered dryly. “But maybe you deserve that.”

“Pretty sure the entire Na’vi population would agree with you there.” He nodded. “But a philosophiser you ain’t, you’re one of them other p-words that get paid a lot more.”

Ellie frowned, unsure if he was strategically calling her other bad names in lieu of shrink-wrap.

“Project Phoenix is unethical. But since there is no moral legislation for Pandoran natives, or recombinants, my hands are tied. I’ve been told to treat you, so I have to.” It was her turn to spell things out. “But, I’m not sure how much I can help someone who so clearly doesn’t want it.”

”True.” He agreed. “So then just give up.”

“No!” Ellie fired back. “What part don’t you get about I have to?”

“If you’re so convinced I’m beyond saving, Doc-“ He spread his hands out wide for emphasis “-why even bother? Throw in the towel.”

“I’ve been given this assignment by Ardmore.” “I need to see it through.” She insisted. “Even if you don’t get anything out of this…at least I tried.”

“Oh, I’m getting plenty.” The Colonel nodded. “But no job’s worth wasting your life on.”

”That what you tell your troops?” Project Phoenix was potentially a suicide mission.

“They know what’s at stake. And as for you…you ain’t got my respect, yet.” Quaritch smiled grimly. “But you have my attention, for now.”

“Maybe that’s enough.” Ellie suggested. “For us to work together.”

“Symbiosis.” He nodded. “I like a project.”

Ellie wrinkled her nose in indignation. He was supposed to be her project.

“My men tell me you’re alright.” Quaritch mentioned abruptly. “‘Tibbs ain’t as bad as the other science pukes’, that’s what they said.”

“Did they now?” Ellie’s interest was piqued.

“Where I’m from, that’s a hefty compliment.” He cocked his head, ears pricking up. “I heard Z offered you an invitation.”

“She did.”

”I also heard you ain’t taken her up on it yet.”Quaritch tutted and gave her a stern look that made her want to disappear down into her own boots, like a child being scolded. “Bad manners.”

“I, uh-…“ The scientists didn’t socialise with the recom soldiers. It wasn’t a hard-and-fast rule, but it might as well be.

“You’d do well to accept that offer, while it lasts.” He warned her. “Or I’ll go back to callin’ ya shrink-wrap.”

”I’ll think about it, Colonel.” Ellie offered a small smile.

“Good.” Finally, he seemed pleased about something. “Be seein’ ya then, kiddo.”

After he left, she sat for a long time, trying to analyse their session so she could write her report. Trying to analyse him.

Quaritch wasn’t the only one holding one Hell of a grudge. Who would stop at nothing for vengeance against those who had crossed them.

She understood. Because they were the same.

Ellie would have given another of her limbs to avenge the one she’d lost. To make the bastard that took her arm, and very nearly her life, suffer beyond belief.

She and the Colonel had more in common than either of them were willing to admit.

***

Thanks for reading!

#my writing #my fanfiction #james camerons avatar female oc #avatar the way of water #avatar 2022 #james camerons avatar #avatar fanfic #avatar fanfiction #miles quaritch #colonel quaritch #colonel miles quaritch #miles quaritch x paz socorro #oc: tibbs #oc: ijeawele thibodeaux #oc: ellie thibodeux #faceclaim: dewanda wise

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fantastickkay · 7 months ago

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Album Review of the Week: Selena Gomez - Revelación (2021)

In 2021, Selena Gomez released her first prominently Spanish collection - Revelación. If you have heard her contribution to the 2012 remix of Selena (Quintanilla's) Bidi Bidi Bom Bom, you know this is a huge improvement! I am not a native speaker, but fluent enough to know that was pretty bad. Anyway, this time around she sounds much more comfortable with the language!

De Una Vez serves as the opening track as well as the lead single. It is a calm and breezy tune, perfect for a "chill" playlist for a spring day. It makes good use of her laid back vocal styling.

Buscando Amor brings in those reggaeton beats that have been popular the last few years. While this song sounds good, it is a bit trend chasing and lacks its own unique sound to separate it from the crowd and make it memorable. Her vocals are also a bit tight in this one, something about it sounds off although that can happen naturally when using a different language.

Baila Conmigo features Rauw Alejandro whose voice I do not like, although I do enjoy the general melody. It does not have the tempo of your standard dance track, but I like that it seems more slow and deliberate. I can picture two people sparring on the dancefloor, daring the other person to break the tension.

Dámelo To' is probably my favorite song on this EP. Something about this one does stand out from the crowd. It is almost like the previous track was a warm up so that you will be ready to dance to this one! It's still on the slower side but the beats are heavy enough that your hip can't lie - they gotta move!

Vicio is another one where her voice sounds kind of weird, though it may be the mixing this time. Other than that, this one is decent enough but again just doesn't really stand out.

Adiós sounds quite similar to the previous track in terms of production and melody, just more upbeat. I do like the delivery of "Ad-ios" throughout, that puts some more fun and sass into it which I like to see! There are also more interesting things happening with the instrumentation and vocals at the 2 minute mark as we get a hint of a bridge (this whole EP is the victim of the 2020s bridge drought).

The EP closes out with the bilingual track Selfish Love. This one has a really nice beat, with accents that make it sound like this belongs in an H&M - but that's not inherently bad! I enjoy it.

Overall, this is a nice EP and a great milestone for Selena's career and discography, but it seems more doing trendy Spanish songs for the sake of doing trendy Spanish songs since there isn't really anything different or groundbreaking happening if you compare it to what is popular in the genre, more chasing trends than building upon to create something new.

#album review #selena gomez #revelación #2021 #2020s #cd collection

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chim-aera · 10 months ago

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divine rage

gods, it's always the gods, them and their shining helms of sunlight and symphonies, all their glory, all their splendor.

but it's bloody, all of it, marred by echoed screams, by silent pleas for mercy. nails raking down flesh, jaws agape crying torment to the heavens.

why did we ever choose to worship them?

blasphemy? oh I'm good at that.

sometimes I like to pretend my very existence is blasphemous. all gunsmoke mixed with gardenias. something saccharine yet sickening.

but the gods, what am I to even say about it? there's a rot, for someone everlasting, the undying ones have a festering madness.

call me Arachne, let me scream my truth as they drag me under, thrashing and clawing I will tip back my head and laugh like a Fury herself all marred maws and ink stained talons.

there is so much injustice, truly. I could name some.

Daphne, ran on fleet footed legs, swift, and seeking, no, no, no. she fled, past trees, past orchards.

Mother saved her, but was that fate, to eternally be held without movement, bark and branches instead of flesh and bone, is that truly a fate one wishes for?

it's a mercy though, yes. it was kinder then the fate she'd have met at the greedy hands of that glorious, grinning god. but still, why couldn't she have just been free?

Callisto, Io, Ganymede, Europa, Persephone, Leda, Creusa, Danaë. and many, many more. victims. all of them.

I cannot tell their stories, I cannot hear their truths from their very own lips but I can fasten my own from thread and threats, and my own bitter vengeful verbosity.

divine?

what's divine about it?

I feel so much, I am used to nothing, nothing at all.

why am I weeping for beings who may have never existed?

but the gods. oh, the gods, lately I have found far less comfort in them.

It is harder to offer prayer and penance when every story and myth is riddled with grasping, groping hands, and lecherous lustful violence.

what if were to rescind my worships?

would you strike me down where I stand?

I'm so tired but I have this fury, like a mouth full of blood stained bile, I want to bite I want to claw I want to flee.

I want to protect.

I have never been good at self preservation, but I hold empathy in my hand like a wounded, bloody dove, feathers ripped and withered, but still there.

ever persisting.

the humans looked to the heavens in hopes for guidance, for solace, we named the stars and saw patterns within them so we felt less alone. we are lonely, we are searching.

why are we here?

Is it some divine joke?

I fall from the hands of some sick bastard of a god but are my gods any better?

I feel like I'm falling, but not like Icarus, there is no sunlight, no warmth, no golden ichor staining my feathers, the wax burns and I choke on it, I choke on my screams, I choke on my savagery and my pain, and it kills me over and over and over.

oh Echidna, what fate awaits monsters like me?

but then again are we really the monsters when beasts hold thrones and shining goblets.

mortals. that's what we are.

it's cruel, irony really, generally translating to ones who die.

how fitting!

how lovely, how quaint.

oh I believe I must sound so bitter but trust me dear I am.

I am.

even Asceplius son of the golden god, his fate was brutal, met with a swift death for interrupting the order of the ichor-veined ones.

for bringing shades back to life, for saving others.

how horrible a crime.

of course he is fit to die!

humans have no place among your golden chambers!

Elysium is also a lie if it is but a forgotten fate of meandering in meadows with no recollection of who you once were, no love, no memories.

I will shun your asphodel, pitch the blossoms at Charon's feet, I will flee from those meadows you cannot take me.

you cannot touch me.

I will wither and shrink and fold into myself until I have become immortal in my own suffering my madness with make me mythical

no.

I am rambling but I could not care less.

for something that is a god, you can change fate, you can bend rules.

you are immortal, if you have so much power what are you fucking doing with it?

oh I am so, so angry.

for all of them, let me be their rage, their fury

in temples. in fields. in cages. swans with beaks like blades digging into flesh.

a bull's hoof clamped against your chest bruising your ribcage, holding you down.

a lyre and a bow and a god who never tires racing behind you like a hound on the hunt.

gods. kings. men.

It is all the same, the same fucking story, over and over.

a cruel conundrum, an pattern of suffering and greed.

I'm so sick of it!

is there no safety in the ones who are meant to keep us safe?

are there no sanctums, no heroes, no deities, that protect us anymore, did they even ever?

why must I worship, why must I watch my tongue, why must I give respect to beings I cannot even see?

I am here, and breathing, I have lived through every twist and turn, every wound, every arrow life has shot at me!

where is my divinity? where is my justice? Themis, where is my reward? or my judgment?

but call me Atalanta because I will throw back my head as my hands shift to paws, as tawny fur sets in across my pallid skin, I will throw open my jaws, gleaming and sharp toothed and I will bark out a laugh to the heavens.

you cannot judge me.

I judged myself, and at the end of things, I did it well.

but gods.

perhaps I will even cease from saying it.

the word holy sits in my mouth like rancid rot, I am no Demeter, but I will spit it out to the earth, and chase my own silvery sunset.

away.

away from hands that grasp, from arrows, and storms, and crashing tides.

I find no glory in gods.

perhaps I am just getting older, jaded, harsh.

but for once, I see understanding in the mortals, the nymphs, the naiads.

I find a strange sympathy.

I understand. but for now, I'll sit here, seething, simmering in my own fury.

perhaps that makes me a heretic, but something about this feels righteous, perhaps one day, my damnation will be my own divinity. but now, I will hold this divine rage in my palms, and I will protect, I will persist.

I am.

#haha religious trauma #poetry #pagan poetry

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ourlordapollo · 2 years ago

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Graphic design is my passion

I blacked out and made a Krisnix fanmix because I'm a man of wealth and taste

Tracklist & thoughts:

Es lassen Nachtigallen, / Spielt draußen Frühlingsluft, / Der Sehnsucht Lied erschallen /Aus ihres Kerkers Gruft.

Preliminary Notes: the playlist starts with opera and transitions into contemporary rock with "Requiem (The Fifth)" bridging the two sections. While the themes of the songs do not represent any particular order of events, the slide from opera to rock depicts the transition of power from Kristoph to Phoenix

Tracklist:

Liederkreis, Op. 39: IX. Wehmut ("Sadness")

(Nightingales, when spring breezes / Play outside, sing / Their song of longing / From their dungeon cell.)

I had to specifically look up "German operas" to find this after painstakingly sifting through like 2% of The Ring Cycle and a bunch of Italian operas. Nightmare nightmare nightmare nightmare. That being said this one does reference a jail cell so yay me.

Liederkreis, Op. 39: X. Zwielicht ("Twilight")

Hast du einen Freund hienieden, / Trau ihm nicht zu dieser Stunde, / Freundlich wohl mit Aug’ und Munde, / Sinnt er Krieg im tück’schen Frieden.

(If here on earth you have a friend, / Do not trust him at this hour, / Though his eyes and lips be smiling, / In treacherous peace he’s scheming war.)

Lucrezia Borgia: Maffio Orsini, signora, son io ("Madame, I am Orsini")

Io nipote d'Appiano tradito, / da voi spento in infame convito.

(Know Appiano's young nephew! you drew him / to the infamous banquet that slew him)

Full disclosure this is the first song in the libretto I found that mentioned the word "poison" and I was so fucking sick of operas at that point that I went for it without remorse.

Lascia Ch'io Pianga ("Leave Me So that I May Cry")

Lascia ch'io pianga mia cruda sorte / E che sospiri la libertà

(Leave me so that I may cry at my cruel fate / and so that I may sigh at (my lost) liberty)

This was on a playlist called "Angry Opera" and that was false advertising to say the least

Carmen WD 31 / Act I: "L'amour est un oiseau rebelle" (Havanaise)

Si tu ne m'aimes pas, / Si tu ne m'aimes pas, je t'aime ! (Prends garde à toi !) / Mais si je t'aime, si je t'aime, / Prends garde à toi ! (à toi !)

Aria: Der Hölle Rache Kocht in Meinem Herzen ("Hell's Vengeance Boils in my Heart")

(If you don't love me, If you don't love me, then I love you! (Be on your guard!) But if I love you, if I love you, Be on your guard! (Your guard!))

Ngl I just really like this song

Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen, / Tod und Verzweiflung flammet um mich her!

(Hell's vengeance boils in my heart, / Death and despair blaze about me!)

Mephistopheles' Return - Trans-Siberian Orchestra

(I)

Don't need this path before me

Don't need forgotten glory

Don't need these threats of violence

Don't need eternal silence

Don't need these midnight visions

Don't need to make decisions

Don't need to be uncertain

Don't need this final curtain

(II)

Somewhere out there

He still gazes

As I wander through his mazes

Death and life here

Truth or lies

Every thought is well disguised

Okay so this song is undeniably about the fear of mortality, as is the whole source musical, however, if you look at it through my Patented Viewing Device *I shove a pane of frosted glass in front of you* you will see that it is ALSO about⁸ the paranoia of knowing that your enemy is watching you, ever-present, scheming.

The Bitch is Back - Elton John

Requiem (The Fifth) - Trans-Siberian Orchestra

DUN DUN DUN DUUUUNNN

Carry on Wayward Son - Kansas

I entertain by picking brains / Sell my soul by dropping names / I don't like those! My God, what's that! / Oh, it's full of nasty habits when the bitch gets back.

Kristoph thinks he's the Bitch. Phoenix simply is the Bitch.

Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions

Masquerading as a man with a reason / My charade is the event of the season / And if I claim to be a wise man, well / It surely means that I don't know

I am not a Supernatural fan I have no baggage IRT to this song and the idea of a wanderer seeking resolution felt very fitting to me. Also, themes of insanity and (metaphorical) blindness.

The night is calling, I have to go / The wolf is hungry, he runs the show / He's licking his lips, he's ready to win / On the hunt tonight for love at first sting

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing - Set It Off

Eat Your Heart - Steam Powered Giraffe

Tell me how you're sleeping easy / How you're only thinking of yourself / Show me how you justify / Telling all your lies like second nature / Listen, mark my words, one day (one day) / You will pay, you will pay

This is one of two fandomcore/playlist fodder songs I allowed myself because. Like. Come on. Come on now.

Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! at the Disco

Stay with me, you're my four leaf-clover-girl / And you can lock me up in time / And when you wear a grin I'm bored / And then I see you cry

Okay so this one isn't a perfect fit but I do think it's one of the best songs ever written and more people need to be aware of it. Also it is very much about growing attached to the person you're in a toxic relationship with

Some are loyal soldiers, while these other thorns are rosy / And if you never know who you can trust / Then trust me, you'll be lonely, oh

Kangaroo Court - Capital Cities

If I'm Crazy - Amigo the Devil

In a dusty room I come to assume / That I've been doomed to lose my mind tonight / Too weak to fight / So I tried to save face then I rest my case / The judge pulls me aside says "c'est la vie / Let your darker side come out to feed"

Love Love Love - The Mountain Goats

So if I cut my lip when I bite the glass / Tell everyone in the room that I'm fine / It hurt for the first few times but at last / I've learned to love a little blood in my wine

This whole song is just *chef's kiss* but I couldn't resist having this be the highlight lyric, considering Phoenix's past with poison in glass bottles

King Saul fell on his sword when it all went wrong / And Joseph's brothers sold him down the river for a song / And Sonny Liston rubbed some tiger balm into his glove / Some things you do for money and some you do for love, love, love

Raskolnikov felt sick, but he couldn't say why / when he saw his face reflected in his victims' twinkling eye / some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for fun / but the things you do for love are gonna come back to you one by one

#krisnix #apollo justice ace attorney #phoenix wright #kristoph gavin #fanmix #playlist #delphi washington #Spotify

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faggot-billcipher · 5 months ago

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i will truly never get over the fact that even though the main claim about my alter lucifer being a pedophile was based on the word of uwuowoazu. the people who used that as the main claim for that never once called her out for lying blatantly and also suicide baiting people repeatedly to try to make certain fnaf fan antis stop disliking me. (behavior that i clearly could not have forced her to do at the time she chose to do it since i said multiple times to not do it and when it hapened i was either outside or trying to fucking sleep.) nor have they ever once addressed or called out azula's unapologetic transphobic behavior that she doubled down on even when corrected. and one of the people behind that claim in the callout have her BLOCKED now. because theyearmed my system's warnings about azula's abusive and manipulative nature wree fucking right. which i literally warned those people about. ut ig that's what happens when io is stupid enough to think every single person who dislikes my system and i must be a poor wittle victim who did no wrong boohoo. instead of acknowledging bother people in a situaiotn can be assholes. or that sometimes no one in the situation is an inherent black and white victim. this is your brain on anti rhetoric. also should go without saying but i am immediately blocking anyone who still blindly believes the genderfluidlucifer callout post. even if youve left the anti community now. as a general you. that callout is full of tons of disinfo. including claiming i'm a cis male and repeatedly doubling down on misgendering me. and even claiming a close mutual of mine was the one, misgendering me when he fucking wasn't at the time. all the while still misgendering me as they claimed that lie aobut my actually close and trustworthy mutual. if you still believe that callout post you're an idiot and should feel bad for it. i'm through with giving any benefit of the doubt to people who still blindly think it has any merit. and mass blocking anyone supporting it and hatefollowing me over it. and yes btw many people are still hatefollownig me ove rthat.i only know because my tumblr exposes when you hatefollow someone. OOPS.

i also hate how parasocial the people calling out luci cat in general. o for some reason keeps framing everything in the callout as if we knew eachother on a close level. even they they regularly avoided chatting mosrt of the time when i was active in their discord. and would repeatedly ghot me for hours when i asked for clarification one of their very confusingly worded discord rules. like bitch you don't get to claim we were close or that you knew me so well while ghosting me that hard and frequently, get over yourself.

i shouldn't have to say this but hating someone doesn't mean you automatically know everything about their lfie and inner psyche. i really especially hate that aspect of callout culture that's become so normalized in the past few years. parasocial hate is just as bad aand real as being parasocial to a blogger or celebrity you love imo. and both forms of parasocial mentality turn into stalking really fucking fsat.

also you can't really be gaslit by someone you avoided talking to that much. let's get real here. gaslighting literally involves way more direct and intentional interaction than that online or otherwise. thi is why gaslighting needs to be put on the shelf until people who blindly believe every claim about a person being a pedophile in a callout can learn to behave.

also also they left out the fact that the case of child molestation was literally just based on a fnaf au rp that azula and i did. one she pressured me into at the time. and i said i merely wanted to explore an au were my fnaf au oc layla didn't get rapde because ome of her characters saved her in time nefore it happende. so she decided to do that opposite of that. and tried to include a graphic rape scene anyways in a joking manner. (as in she literally amde a joke bragging about how fucked it up was for her to add that so you can't claim she was being ignorant.)i shut it down fast and we did not contionue that particular rp.| but i guess i'm repsonsible for the actions an apaprent minor chose to take at the time. even tohugh i litelaly told her to opt quickly after she pullde that. after she litrelaly ignored my clearly statde boundaries in the topic of that rp. i am not agreeing to the claim that i molested a child. i never met azula irl. and i never would've considered meeting her irl because i would've had to trust her enough to. as she'd shown to me many times what a red flag of a person she was ocnstantly. even buefore another anti helped me realize she might've been lying aobut how young she was when this rp took place. ia m not interested in molesting children anyways.. you can say you hate me and want med ead without making up shit. i barely go out enough to go and molest a child irl you absolute dinguses.

and even when i do go outside i barely deliberately interact with children irl outside of relatives and sometimes forced interactions. forced as in i did not initiate it first and i just have to Endure It until it stops happening. so yeah fuck off with that claim already. and i know the only reason y'all went wild with the callout was the bullshit child molester claim. because you can't just call out someone for one or two things. you have to add like 50 shock value claims because you wanna act like you caught the next yandev or creepshowart even when you didn't. which just further makes it harder for me to believe every callout an anti makes anymore. after that experience and seeing how flimsily made callout posts like that can gain traction so fast with barely anyone quesitioning it.

#i am so done with this man #i just went on a blocking spree to block anyone who rbed that post that i could find #uwuowoazu literally baited me and started drama against me on purpose because i wouldn't flirt back wth her when she tried it #i'm mad that she got away with it and antis enabled it en masse #every day i crave death #i am never rejoining y'all's stupid cult i hope your community's reptuation gets worse and worse with each passing day #no antis hatefolliowing me will get to be The One to make me rejoin fuck off

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