#I am always amased

[hopepaigeturner]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Just wanted to take a moment to raise a glass and wish you all a happy new year.

Thank you for all those who have been so supportive over the last year, and thank you for all the wonderful asks/replies/reblogs--and for reaching 100 followers!!

I hope you can continue enjoying the contents of my brain and heart.

Here's to another year of memories! I raise a glass to you all

Hope xx

[sheddr]

Was hast du getan?

I sit now here — with my fears, with my restrictions, with my pain

and barely breathe

swallowing one by one

pieces

I can hardly digest

Should I be grateful or should I feel damned for ever meeting you?

[thequietkid-moonie]

Ok so I recently found your work and I. Am. In. LOVE. 😍 I was wondering if you could do Karma Akabane with a very cat-like reader? I'm talking someone who isn't fast to trust but clings to the few people they like. Or like constantly taking naps and yet is somehow always on top of their game when it comes to assassination or academics? If not that's cool though.😊😊

Karma with a cat-like crush

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Karma Akane ]

[ Assassination Classroom / Anatsu Kyoshitsu ]

Idk why but I got emotional haha

I ended up loving it, I hope you like it as much as I do

Karma is really smart and observant, is probably that since the start he had noticed you, although since at first he was more prideful and a little arrogant he didn't give you much importance, what could lead you to don't trust him at first neither

But as the classes pass by and the assassin training win more importance is where you get the oportunity to show your skills and true potential, however at first were everyone who where amased by your great reflections and elegant movements

Karma is competitive and rather prideful, specially at first so seeing someone that could be better that him it bother him (but he tries to hide it, he won't let you see him like this), he will try to approach you to challenge you, directly or indirectly, but accept is your choise, at the end he will still really interested on you (if you accepted and win it would be more out of frustration)

And when he start to notice how good you are with academics too your rivality just increase, you are getting in his prideful side and his challenging attitude increase. With this he isn't giving you a really good impresion, and you two probably were only related by the rivality for a while, but after some time he just start to get more curious about you wanting to know more outside of the challenges even when he doesn't express it, now more than a rivality he wants a friendship

He noticed how you seem more relaxed and even cling to the people you trust, contrary of how you act with others being just polite, even with him you just act either defiantly or just ignore him (depending on if you like challenges or not), so he knows that if he wants to approach to relate with you in a more friendly way he needs to win your trust first

The more you are bothered by his challenging and prideful attitude the more difficult will be for him to approach to you, and the more obvious will start to be for others his intention too, although is more probably that the ones who notice will be Nagisa and Koro-sensei, who offers to help him if he fails to get close to you

Although Karma is stubborn and since his personality is pretty charming it won't take much time for him to win your trust and become your friend, and with that he had the opportunity to get to know you better

Karma actually likes that you cling onto him, that means that you trust him the most, that flattered him and make him feel proud, and as the time pass by and he start to fall in love with you he just loves more that you cling onto him, he sometimes needs time for himself or maybe you just go with someone else but in those moments he end up missing your presence, he gets so used to you clinging to him that when you aren't with him he feels like something is missing

Also he can be pretty jealous when you cling to someone else, not matter if is someone of the group or not, he likes that you trust in others too but he can't stop himself from getting jealous, specially if you are affectionate, the first few times he got jealous by it he didn't hide it too well, those who pay close attention or know him well can easily see that something bothers him

He finds pretty funny that you like to take naps so frecuently or that you can fall sleep wherever, at first he just let you be and leave you alone, but after some time when he finds you sleeping he sits beside you and just make you company, he prefers when is just the two of you because that way no one will see how his expression softens, how his smile sweetly at the view of you sleeping peaceful or how he likes to play with your hair and pat your head softly from time to time

He doesn't mind if you wake up and see him there, he can easily came up with an excuse, saying that he is just looking after you since you are being so careless to fall sleep, and if you ever came to him because you wanted to nap beside him he will be so flustered but he hide it and let you do it, he says that he doesn't care but it actually mean a lot for him

He tease you a lot for your cat-like personality, always putting you nicknames that are relate to cats and making jokes like asking you to not purr

The rivality part never really goes away, but it lose importance after a while and just become a thing between you two, just challenging and making bets to each other as friends

With some time his crush become obvious and at first he was annoyed by it (specially when his classmates tease him), but after some time he just don't mind anymore, and even when he doesn't accept directly to others he doesn't deny it neither, and he isn't planning to confess right now mainly because he likes to play around

[megatrons-husband]

Hello, I just saw this in the tags and wanted to add my own input. I am an abuse survivor and also a megastar shipper. Megastar is one of my tops, and that’s because they are both abuse victims and I see myself through both of them. When I ship them, I generally ship them as healing past the abuse and trauma they’ve both been through and make them happy, and able to heal and grow together, I always felt that if I was able to see those two heal and be happy, and being victims of abuse (megatron abused thru slavery, starscream abused thru megatron) then I would be able to heal myself. Being able to portray megatron and starscream break the cycle of abuse makes me happy in a way and even tho we don’t get it canonically, I try and portray it with what I write. 

I do agree a lot of depictions of megastar are extremely abusive, esp tfp depictions. I myself don’t really interact with fandom content that makes them out to be abusive. I do admit that there are a lot of people who glorify the abuse in the ship and that was a reason I just, didn’t interact with the fan version of it. At the end of the day, each to their own but I resonate with this answer. 

I agree with everything you said and I think you offered a very kind and nuanced answer. 

That said, at the end of the day I think that most all transformers ships have the ability to be priorship or abusive and it always irks me or at least, saddens me when people just go after megastar shippers. I mean, despite being an abuse survivor myself and going out of my way to portray the ship in a unique way to me, Ive had people tell me to kill myself. I remember there was a megastar story board artist who worked on Earthspark, and people were telling her to kill herself and to get hit by a bus. Ive realized that in the tf fandom it’s like ‘okay’ to harass megastar shippers even this elf us who don’t ship the ship in an abusive way, but other shippers tend to be exempt from this,.

lIKE I also like MegaOP, but MegaOp also has incredibly abusive foundations too. Especially TFP MegaOP, where Megatron quite literally took advantage of Optimus when he had no memories and just in general, some of the things he’s done to Optimus, short of torturing him and even killing and hurting his friends just o hurt him, are abusive and reminds me of things that happened to me. And people tend to romanticize that, and call them like ‘crazy husbands’ or exes or something like that, and I realize that it’s so common to romanticize the abuse in MegaOP, just like proshippers do, but its’ almost never called out the same way megastar is. Hell, some of the people bashing Megastar are the same people who think it’s romantic when Optimus is gettin beat and nearly killed by Megatron, or when Megatron kills and hurts those close to Optimus.

I don’t mean to rant to you, I just noticed how ship hate and suicide baiting is so acceptable to do to megastar shippers. It’s so common, even if we *don’t* ship the ship in an abusive way. And there aren’t that many megastar shippers compared to others. It’s a very isolating experience because I realize this fandom is ‘friendly’ until people have double standards over a ship you like. Like i said, I'm an actual abuse survivor, and in a place where I still have to live with my abuser, so writing megatron and starscream working thru their own traumas and loving one another is kinda healing to me. BUT being told to kill myself over it, sometimes by popular bloggers in the TF fandom, and then seeing them glorify abuse in other ships is not fun.

SORRY i just wanted to send this to you because i agree with your ask. originally i was gonna respond to your post but i was anxious

Ok first i would like to say your absolutely AMAZING. You are a poet becuse this is the most accurate opinion of transformers ships ive seen in awhile, twitter users a shakering is there boots right know!! And your view of megastar is perfect and the way you described your writings of them sounds amasing and a great and healthy way to potray them, also i very glad that it helps you. : ] And just puting this out there as a abuse survivor to i get you. Id like to touch on megop to since you mentioned it! Iam not going hate anyone fore it because once again to each there own, but i hate the double stander for megstar shipers, when megop is just as bad! People really need to understand that both have the opportunity to be awful horribly portrayed ships, or beautiful heartfelt relationship with great story telling! And one last thing that i would like to add is when you said that ever transformers ship has the opportunity to be proship, and yes i agree strongly with this. the transformers fandom has a very bad problem of fetishizing relationship and just around makeing really bad and gross ships. But something id like to say is some ships will never be heathy, and cant be. There are some ships that are just gross and overall cant be labled as anything other than proship. For instance, somthing that makes me absolutely sick is people who ship overlord and Fortress Maximus, specifically there idw/mtmte portrayals. A little background if some have never read the comics, Fortress Maximus was a warden at this prison basically and overlord came a over ran the place, killing tons of bot and taking many captive. Maximus was one of said bots and overlord wanted some information that only Maximus had and for 3 and a half years torture, abused, and lobotomized him. The amont of trama that Maximus gained from that, form overlord, alone should show how awful of a ship it is to began with. There is no way that it could be written to be heathy for either bot because its shown alot just how much Maximus HATES Overlords guts. But iam a stop there, or iam a write a hole essay. Thank you for shareing your opinion on the matter! It was really well written!! Hope you have a good day or night! :]

[talaofthevalley]

As a fan of horror who is also an absolute wuss when it comes to actually consuming horror, I am so fucking stoked Horikoshi implemented a fuck load of horror imagery and theming with Dabi and his whole story. The Frankenstein resemblance has been mentioned everywhere already so I won't touch on that but be sure I love that too.

With just his looks there's so much. The burnt purple skin. The staples covering him and looking to be holding him together, made even better and gruesome with Horikoshi's detailed artwork. His black clothing and ripped jacket that also has staples on them(gotta follow that theme). The bright blue eyes that you just know would appear to glow in his eyes sockets when framed by the purple scarring under them, like permanent eyebags. That his whole lower jaw is scarred and stapled so you can almost see Dabi unhinging his jaw in your mind. In Japan there's a supernatural creature called Onibi, spirits born from the corpses of humans and animals who take the form of blue fire. Are often also resentful spirits. Blue fire in general seems to be associate with the supernatural and the dead there(anyone who knows more feel free to correct me or add onto that tho).

But even beyond his design, his whole backstory and character is jam-packed with horror imagery. The Todoroki's being the most traditionally japanese in the whole series adds even more(seriously Japan has such amasing horror stories, whether it's movies or games or books, if you're interested pls try and check some stuff out).

Died as a young child, and kids in horror movies are both infamous and a staple, especially when they're wearing white. Touya died wearing his white track suit. His new costume is based on japanese burial clothing. Touya burned to death alone on a mountain, a cremation of his own making. No corpse was ever found except part of his jaw. The horror stories writes itself with just that, like you cannot tell me there's not an urban legend based on Touya's death on that mountain in-universe. Is the ghost of a child said to forever wander the mountain, searching for his lost jaw, or waiting for someone to finally join him in his solitude?

But then he didn't actually die. He was brought to a facility that was actually a front for human experimentation and also works as a supply of spare children in case the plans of the man behind all this don't work out with the child he has already taken. Touya wakes up to find out his body is unfamiliar to him. Three years has passed him by. His body was so far gone parts from other people had to be supplied. Normal in the case of skin grafts, but what else needed to be switched out? And either way Touya was operated on without his knowledge and then watched over and taken care of by people he does not know. And when he wakes up no one refers to him by name and he's told he can't go home.

But he does. And finds a shrine dedicated to him, his existence forgotten and left behind, and the rage and grief this spikes in him is enough for a new entity to be born. Something dark and twisted but stronger than Touya. Someone who can take revenge for the life that was lost in such a cruel way. No one else will, so Touya, Dabi, has to do it himself.

Always the ghost of the Todoroki family, there for others to simper by his shrine and use his memory in any way they please to fit them.

In reality he's been a vengeful spirit for years, finally taking his control and agency back. The sacrifice come back to life to take revenge on those who wronged him. The ghost that escaped the house.

[dark-in-the-rooms]

GULAG history post pt 1

The idea of putting tf2 fucking lore in a historical perspective was slowly growing inside my skull for years. But that amasing post gave me the courage to give a fuck less about actual lore and more about how i feel about it. (That wasn't the intention of the author, i guess, but here i am.)

So, we have a caricature of a slavic (i guess?) man shaped by american propaganda. Propaganda people understand isn't true, but don't understand why exactly. In this post i will write about real historical events i keep in mind when i dream about my one and only comfort character.

Your TW for all things violent. Also i may be cringe in my commentaires. This isn't even a shitpost anymore.

What is GULAG?

GULAG wasn't just one camp or jail. GULAG stands for Main Directorate of Correctional Labor Camps (1930—1959). And you can see how many camps there was. We'll take it easy and name every camp or special prison settlement GULAG, because that's how everyone do it.

Who was sent there?

Everyone, excluding children from 1-1,5 years old and those who got capital punishment (execution by firing squad).

Why they were sent there?

Any ''normal'' crime like murder, racketeering, robbery etc counts. But i will focus on political prisoners. As always, you could do something normal for a citizen (being skeptical about some law or tell a joke about some politician) or you could do nothing at all, or you could be a member of any political movement that wasn't Bolsheviks (even in the past), or you could be just a wife or a mother.

Ditr, why are you so sure political prisoners were innocent?

I'm looking at modern police (some shit isn't changing). I am sure vast majority weren't even terrorists or anti-revolutionary in any way. You know how some politicians suddenly become major drug dealers?

Ditr, are you using official sources?

Mostly. But there is another thing that doesn't change: everything looks minimum ten times better on paper.

Some random detail:

There were quotas for the number of executed, imprisoned, and evicted. Like the production plans.

"According to the records you have provided, I hereby approve you the following number of people to be subjected to repression"

[randomoranges]

whew! somehow or other, i managed to make at least One Art a Month. it always amases me. especially since this is still not my favouristest medium, but i am aware that practice makes perfect. 

i like how i tried some different things and some months were hard to chose an art for! there are some pieces that i really like that didnt even make it on the summary.

here’s to more in 2023!

template from here

[kingofdandelions]

The last thing you saw was a sharp light going towards you, before you got hit by a truck. Your last thought weren't the clearest, but you sligthly remeber thinking "oh shit a truck" before you got distracted by the kind of pain you only can get from a huge truck squishing your face like a bug. You were dead. The end.

Hah! Just kidding, unfortunatly for you, death didn't mean the end of your story.

You woke up to find yourself in a palace. A suprisingly pretty palace. The walls seemed to be made of have dried lava, with pieces of gold and shiny stuff on the cracks.

There were huge windows, just cloudy enough for you to slightly see the outside, but only faint colours and shapes. Curtains flowed down besides every window, and apparently some of them were drawn on?

You stepped closer to the curtain drawn on by an absolute amatour at drawing, serioulsy a 5 year old could have drawn better than that. Something about that sentence seemed familiar, like a deja vu.

The flashback hit you harder than the truck.

You had no idea where you were, but thats okay, you had brought your backpack! And yeah, your plan of finding pirate treasure didn't work, but you could still draw! Mama said that pirates always draw on the places they go.

A biiiiiig, white curtain was rigth there, it could be your pirate flagg! When you had drawn for, a while? Probly a while. When it felt like you had drawn for a while a tall man appeared out of nowhere. You got an idea, you could show him your pirate flag!

"Mr. Tall man?"

"Yes"

"What do you think of my pirate flag?" He looked at your pirate flag for a while. You thought it looked amasing, it had a pirate skull and a hat, just like the strechy dude from the thing Mama watched.

"It lookes terrible, seriously a baby could have drawn better than that." you looked up at the tall man who was in turn looking down at you for a reaction

"Like you could draw better!" Thats what Mama always used to say when you said something bad about her drawings. And the tall guy probably couldn't draw that good.

"Oh really, you are challenging me?" the man said and if you had been older or any smarter you would maybe notice the way he smiled a bit too smugly, but you were two and a half, and smart for your age, yes, but still not smart.

"Yeah I am! Unless you're scared!" You blew raspberry towards him, surely he couldn't be better than you, you were the best pirate-flag-drawer ever, and he could just try!

The man laughted. "I like your attitude, there's a long time since someone dared to talk to me in a tone like that, so how about we make a deal?"

"A deal?"

"Yeah! I give you powers that can make you as good at drawing as I am, and all you have to give is a promise to see me again."

"Are you good at drawing?" you asked, curious about how the deal would work.

"I can show you." He moved his arm in a circle, and suddenly one of the big white paper like things became filled with colours and patterns, you saw lot of people, realistic in an unreal way. As if they would disapear if you blinked.

You stared in awe at the painted thing, could you be able to do that if you made the deal?

"But I don't know the way to get here." you said disapointed.

The man only laughted and said "If you make the deal, then I will make sure get back here soon enough".

"Really, Im gonna draw that good!?" you wondered and pointed at the painting he had demontrated.

"Yes, all you have to do is say "yes""

"Yes!" You beamed with joy, you could make the best pirate flags ever!

"Alright then," the man said "I'll see you in a while, bye".

You don't remeber how you got out.

You had made a deal with the devil and was now in hell, that much was obvious, the problem was how to get out.

You smirked as the idea struck.

If you'd made a deal with the devil once, what was the problem with doing it twice.

After all, what could you lose? You were already in hell.

You die and discover hell exists. Worse yet, you find out that the only reason you’re here is because when you were 2 and a half years old, you accidentally made a deal with the devil.

[tartedepera]

(Vent post)

When I say im obsessed this is what I really mean, and yes i know its super unhealthy, i literally feel like im losing my mind over this stupid boy, and i wanna stop but then i dont wanna stop cus if i stop loving him it will mean that what we had ment nothing.

Sometimes i think im over him, but then the memories of him, of us start coming back. This is geting to a point where i start crying myself to sleep and even cuting myself cus ,idk why, i have this urge to make him know that im sufering so i can make him feel bad about what he did to me ig (even tho he doesn't have the fault for stop loving me)

I remember the way he use to look at me, with that sparkle in his sweet and soft blue eyes that were only sweet and soft for me, the way he use to smile at me like i was his everything, the way i felt so safe in his arms. And that one time when i was laying on his chest, while he was playing with my hair and he looked at me and said "you are amasing, i love you" and then he kissed me. I remember the way i was happy with him, and the day i realised i loved him, the day i realised that he was the one i wanted to spend my life with.

I think i romantized our relatioship, i was delusional, i still am actually, im feeling literally insane. Sometimes i have to contain myself to not send him the most psychotic shit just to show him how ill i can be.

And it hapened, i totally humiliated myself, i literally begged him to come back to me. But i swear that ill never make that mistake again.

I cant take it anymore, i cant stop thinking about him. I miss him so much. I love him.

"I need nobody" is what i tell myself. Everyone always hurt me and i always hurt everyone. Is better if i stay alone. I always ruin everything.

I want him to be happy, but a part of me also wants him to have a miserable life and die alone. Because he never, i repeat, never will find anyone who will love him more than i do.

[mrfoox]

I wish there was some easy/quick way to fix me

[dennas16879]

Im so proud of you maybe one day I will be able to sit down with you with two glasses of red wine 🍷 🍷 & explain how I got here from age 12 years old to now over 40 to have this day to say how proud I am of you .. admiting in a interview color blind and blind in one eye your colors are spot on so vivid you literally have to learn colors and you use them .. and pay attention to specific details ... you pay attention to detail amd color on your movies you & tim pay attention to every detail... in a movie 🎬 .. your humanitarian you go above and beyond what's expected of you as ahumaniyarian how you pay attention to each detail as a humanitarian .. you are amasing after 2 years and over 160000 fake profiles to find you to find myself being your earth angel to say how proud I am of you and what you have accomplished as a actor writer producer artist musician humanitarian everything you doing. Is always award winning... you are amasing... hopefully maybe one day you & I can talk about my journey with you from 12 years of age to now over 40 with a glass of red wine

🍷 🍷 & talk about my journey to you as a stranger to you feeling like I am a earth 🌎 angel watching over you through your journey of life.. from a fan to whatever you decide you want me to be friends or more your choice..

“I can remember when I finished Edward Scissorhands, looking in the mirror as the girl was doing my make-up for the last time and thinking, it was like the 90th or 89th day of shooting and I remember looking and going ‘Wow, this is it. I’m saying goodbye to this guy, I’m saying goodbye to Edward Scissorhands.’ You know, it was kind of sad. But in fact, I think they’re all still somehow in there.” - Johnny Depp

[oddlyhale]

James, James, James, James. My ultimate RWBY bias, my precious sad man. I have so much to discuss about prince charming here.

My Top 3 Ships For James IronQrow IronWatts IronWitch

To easily sum up all 3 ships as a whole, I like a character that directly challenges James’ personality. While James can be direct and cold at times, these 3 have a level of challenge but consideration for him.

Qrow is the rebellious grump that counters James with remarks but can relate to the emotional burdens. Watts is the cynic that still holds James to a higher regard if he had to choose between him and his team. Glynda is stern and insinuates, but she’s also careful and studious.

I think James works well with someone who can relate to the struggles he hides or someone that can shake it out of him. James is a selective guy, so I assume he’s extremely picky with who he’d like to have hanging off his arm. These 3 always gave me such strong personalities that counter James in a productive way, that they have an ingredient that James is missing in his own life that can spice things up or can change the flavour of what he’s used to. I never think James is into people who are just like him.

My Least 3 Favourite Ships For James This is hard for me to say since I’m pretty neutral with ships that include our tin man.

If I had to choose a few, it’d be IronWinter and IronRobyn.

I’ll admit, the only reason why I don’t like IronRobyn is that I fucking hate Robyn. She’s toxic and always has a short temper, and seems to direct it all at James when she could’ve been angry at any other enemy that’s right in front of her (cough Jacques cough.) I think she’d demean him way too much, which is why she’d be the worst girlfriend ever.

I’m still debating with IronWinter. I am falling off the ship due to V8’s ending, and how badly the writing handled their friendship (and possibly budding romance) horribly in the end. I think if only Winter could have tried to be compassionate towards James, and did everything she could to save him - express her anguish over his turmoil, showing how much it’s causing her pain as well, to the point where James has to stop and realize what he’s doing - then maybe I could like this ship. As it stands, it’s a no from me, doc.

My Biggest Criticism Of James Firstly, it’s obvious that I deeply despise what the writers had done to my boy in V8. They accidentally made him such a layered and likable character that they had to damn him straight to Hell, just so that we can like the sociopaths - I mean Team RWBY - again. It was such a sad sight to see, I still feel the string.

But also, I must criticize how James was barely portrayed as a bad guy from the beginning. People point at how cold he acted in the first few volumes, but I personally think that’s just people being too sensitive over such strong personalities. James is very direct and has no time for nonsense - which could make him disliked from the jump.

If he must be seen as such a morally grey person, then I would’ve loved to see that development properly from the beginning. Making him morally grey that teeters into villain status is exciting and tragic, but you knew it was going to happen. His entry into bad guy status would’ve made so much sense if he were quietly cold-hearted, choosing logic over emotion, and wouldn’t bother taking the time to protect people if he only created robots just to protect himself. He is evil, but deep down he finds himself vulnerable, and that would always be his burden that created a villain.

And don’t fucking kill him in the end. With an amasing written villain, you’d be stupid enough to not let him be recruited by Salem. He is a boiling pot of what she needs, and he would oblige if it meant he could ring the necks of our heroes.

My Favourite Thing About James Him. Just him.

Everything can be generalized into one word, which would be strength. Not only is he strong physically, but his heart also showed his truth and his mind was what kept him capable. He was always on top of the game, never asking for help, and would do whatever it took to save those before himself. He truly is a guy that could be the embodiment of true strength. Somebody that I can look up to, and read him for what he stood for, what he thrived on, and what made him move forward. He works so hard and still keeps pushing to do the job right. Your status didn’t matter to him, whether you were rich or poor, or just an adventurer, he would still have his own way of welcoming you as a trusted friend or shun you for being a prick. I think James would be the perfect example of someone who can keep going, and with so much persistence and diligence, you can succeed.

Even when he was a villain in V8, the writers proved to us that he was still the biggest character to always look forward to. Salem was practically a joke compared to our favourite tin man, and that’s sad when even the main villain is nowhere as important as James.

I have been told people did love and look up to James, which is such a major shame that he is gone and gone in such a disrespectful way.

A Headcannon I Have About James My biggest headcannon about James is that he is asexual-biromantic.

James valued anybody who was loyal and worked with him to reach their goals. I like how it doesn’t matter who it may be, whether you are female, male, or something more. James had his heart in his hands, and he would always give it to those he trusted most. Falling in love would be tough, but adorkable to see.

What I Would Change About James If I Was Making A Rewrite To be honest, not much. I adore him as he is.

My biggest change, however, would be his semblance and keeping him morally-grey-to-hero. I think James thrives on such a great story if he had a semblance that mirrored himself, and how he would try to stay on the path of heroics than to steer into the stupid cartoony villain one. Hell, James needs his own show.

I have a variety of ideas as to what his new semblance would be, but I’d be here all day. Instead, I always loved the idea that James has a sentient semblance that corresponds with him. James wants somebody to trust, so what better than your own responsive semblance? Such as barbed-wires, or a familiar, or even the ability to manifest weapons with his aura. How cool!

What I Think Of James’ Character Allusion And What (if anything) I Would Change About It

As much as I like the tin man allusion, I personally would have chosen something much more tragic and detrimental to his character. I get he’s supposed to be in the Oz Faction, but it’s lame at this point.

For me, I would’ve made him the Beast. (No I’m not asking for IronwoodxBlake, I am saying he should’ve been the Beast.) It makes sense if he were the Beast - he is cold, he is intimidating, he is brash, he is distrusting of others until they have his full confidence. Beast was always hiding away, not wanting to go out and expose himself to a world that would hate him or fear him. He masks himself in an authority role, but would likely drop it when he’s alone. He can go into a flurry of rage and is destructive. In the end, however, all he wants is somebody to break his curse - a burden.

You don’t have to change much about his appearance, other than making him a Faunus. Since Beast could have a closer likeness to a werewolf, give James some wolfish characteristics, like a bushy tail, or even some cute ass wolf ears. Even his eyes can shine menacingly in the dark, like a wolf. Or, give him some massive canine teeth, so when he bares them in anger, they’re gleaming sharp and ready to bite.

Yup that’s it. Thanks!

[harleenfleck]

“His darkest day”

Arthur Fleck x Reader Fic

Summary: You are with Arthur in a beauty relationship for a long time, you’re in love with him, remember warmly all those beautiful moments that lived together, until you see in your mailbox a terrible farewell and heartbreaker letter, causing you to run to save your Arthur.

Warning: Angst (looooooots and looooooots of angst), hurt/comfort, mentions of suicide, mentions of self-harm, and a little bit of fluff (Just a little).

Words: 3.4k

Notes: Well my clownies! Last night I had a really angst dream, becoming nightmare. I’m thinking about this strange dream, and my two neurons made synapsis and I said “Why not?”

So, this is my first fic in English for this fandom (And in general, omg). I want to say thank you to my two neurons, my weird mind for having that weird dreams and the Collins Translate for help me to translate some things I don’t how to write in English HAHAHAH

There will be some misspellings on purpose but cause it's something Arthur wrote.

I'm sorry if I make some grammatical, spelling or writing mistakes, English is not my native language, and I may translate this fic into my native language (Omg will be fun to do)

Hope you like!

...

Another long day came to the end.

You’re so tired, really was a long and heavy day in the work. But that does not really matter, because your mind was in another place. A happy place.

You’re in the subway, thinking about in the only human to whom your heart belonged. Arthur and you were dating for 1 year and 2 months, you knew him perfectly, and honestly, was the best year of their’s life’s.

You closed your eyes and your mind traveled to the day you and he met.

It was a little funny because that night you were dating another guy, which you thought might he will be a good couple. But things were not so, that idiot had leave you standing at the place of the date, in Pogo's Club.

Angry and disappointed,you feeling like a fool, the place was full of people, full of couples. You wanted to disappear. The owner of the club announced the list of comedians who would show that night. While you were drinking a glass of wine, you thought it best to leave the place, why keep humiliating yourself like that?

“H-hello” A shy voice you heard, you look up and see an emeralds eyes into a gentle face.

“Hello” You replied his greeting respectfully, and why not? smiled at him too.

The man seemed to be debating to tell something or not. In the end, he did, stuttering by the way. “I-I’m sorry, I-I just arrived here and all the tables are full, and I w-was wondering... I’m asking me if y-you don't mind, if...”

“Sit here? Of course not! you can sit with me”

He, more confident, took one chair and sat next to you. You looked at him well, looked at his curly hair, the shine on his eyes, his blue sweater, his hands, and again, you looked his face. You blushed a little when you realized he is was attractive. “Have you come here before?” You asked to him, and he took a little while to respond, because he didn't think you were really speaking him.

“Eh, yes, once a week” he responded, shy again, you smiled for that.

“Oh, I see. This is my first time here”

“Really? It’s a great place here”

“Well, I hope so, I want to have a good memory from this place. My date never came”

“What? Somebody stood you up?”

“Yes, a stupid idiot, but I don't want to talk about it, it makes me angry, better will be to enjoy the moment” Seeming to understand, he stopped asking questions about it. "My name is y/n" You introduced yourself, and he blinked. His gaze got confused, but in the end, he did what you did." Arthur, my name is Arthur"

You smiled at him again, you looked at a notebook was in his hands. "What is that?"

“Oh, it is, it's a journal, I use to make annotations and observations... It's just..." Grieving, he wasn't so sure to complete the sentence, fearing it would be ridiculous "…I want to be a comedian, and I need to learn things…"

He bowed his head, waiting for a rejection from you.

But that was so interesting to you the fact he studied whatever was necessary for his training. You found it fascinating the way he prepared for his dream.

"Seriously? That's great!”

He raised his head, a little incredulous, were your words really true?

"Do you really think that?"

“Yeah! I mean, there are people who are getting ready, but you're putting dedication! And that must be recognized"

Arthur was surprised, it was the first time he told anyone about his dream and they didn't laugh or mock it. Hours passed, even though the stand-up shows ended, you two kept talking about a lot of things, until almost the owners of Pogo's kicked him and you out there.

Definitely the best thing that could happen to you was to be stood up.

It didn't take long for you two to start dating, you had to be the one on the initiative because you knew Arthur could be very shy, but that something you understood perfectly. He didn't used to relate with others because when he did, he got rejection, taunts and punches.

You learned everything from him, even the smallest details, the little scar on the top of his lips, the scent of his hair, his favorite cigarette brand, his dark yellow jacket, his little cards.

You learned his weaknesses, his strengths. His scars in his soul. You learned his illnesses, his condition, his medication.

Anyone would have advised you "No, with him no y/n, just look at him, he goes to psychiatrist, he was locked on Arkham, he uses seven different medications, that relationship will be difficult and problematic for both, more for you" and you would have completely ignored it.

It was something you already knew, something Arthur actually warned you at the beginning of the relationship "I don't want you to feel obligated to be with me, I know I'm a mess, and I don't want you to carry my demons".

But everyone deserves to be loved, Arthur should not be the exception to that rule.

And you love him, and you were willing to give him all the love he deserved and needed.

You blinked and returned to the present, the subway reached your destination. You went down and walked a couple of blocks to get to your apartment.

While you were arriving in your mailbox, you were thinking of making a call to Arthur, he should have gotten home in that hour. Days earlier, you noticed him down and depressed. You knew that's what he meant when Arthur warned you about him. But you were by his side, supporting him. You couldn't change it, you couldn't fix it, you couldn't do better, it would be amazing if it was that easy, if your love fixed all his problems, but it wasn't so.

When you opened the mailbox there was only one letter. You didn't pay much attention; you took it and closed the mailbox.

Once in your apartment, you dropped your bag on the couch and took off your jacket, you headed to the phone and called Arthur, on the other side he was just on standby. He didn't answer the phone. "Maybe it hasn't home" you thought, and you worried for a moment.

Arthur was so helpless, the wicked people of Gotham used to take advantage of that and attack him. Many times, you've had to heal his lesions. You're afraid that was the case.

You wanted to distract yourself from that terrible thought, so you looked at the white letter and realized that letter was from his. It had your name written, you recognized his handwriting.

You opened it instantly, and you regretted not to open it before.

“My dearest, y/n

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry to hurt you…

You're the most amasing and purest perzon I’ve eber met, I don't know why you were with me, I don't know why you did it, maybe I'll neber know, you're beautiful, you're special

And I’m really sorry to tell you in thiz letter

But I can't do it anymore, my dear, I can't do it anymore. So much darknes inside me, so many negative thoughts. I'm tryin to fight all that awful feelings, I tried to just think of you, cause you're the only one who bringz me peace and love.

You're my one and only one, y/n

But I can't, I can't fight with the pain. My only exit is to give up.

Forgive me for makin you know in this letter, it's so cowardly, but I don't want you to find any other way and hurt you more...

What the fuck am I sayin? Shit, I'm really sorry, my y/n

Please don't stop libing for me, don't let this stop you. I love you, and whereber I am, I'll take care of you, I'll alwayz take care of you. I promise.

Arthur”

You got paralyzed, you were in shock. Tears came out of your eyes and ran down your cheeks.

It couldn't be possible.

"No... Arthur no..."

You ran to the phone back, typed the keys and waited for me to response it. Silence again.

“No, no, no, no, Arthur no, you can’t!”

And to your mind came the worst thought you could have. Maybe he wasn't responding because he wasn't here anymore, maybe he wasn't responding because he was gone.

“NO!”

You took your bag and ran away.

You ran down the stairs and left your building. You got to the bus stop, and fortunately it was coming. You got on the bus and sat down. crying in front of people, and they were staring at you. Judging you. Feel pity for you.

You still had the letter in your hand, you read it, looking for something, anything damned that told you something, that made sense. The pain in your chest is agonizing.

You thought about the last days of him and you together, looking for some sign that would warn you about what he was going to do. Some sign that said “I'm going to commit suicide”.

Crying, you only remembered that he was sad, you remembered that you hugged him for hours, stroking his hair and giving him small kisses on different parts of his face. You remember when he had a laugh attack you took his hand, hugged him again, and told him everything was going to be okay.

Really you wanted to promise.

You thought you should have done more; you should have made him understand that you'd always be with him. You should have told him more you loved him.

"Shit, no, please don't" you cried again on the bus, you were so afraid.

Stay with me Arthur, stay with me, stay with me, stay with me. It was the only thing you could think.

After an eternal trip, the bus arrived at that stop bus you knew so well. "STOP THE BUS! STOP THE BUS!" You screamed hysterically; people turn over to see you again. The bus stopped and you only can say “Thanks” and get off the bus so quickly.

You ran and ran and ran to those that eternal stairs. You remembered how funny It was to Arthur that you couldn't climb them fast, that you always got tired before you got to the top, and how much you envied him for putting up with all that workout.

Every memory was as if a knife stuck your heart in.

This time you had to tell your body that it shouldn't stop, no matter if you hadn’t a physical condition, you shouldn't have stopped. You ran up, with all the energy you had.

Stay with me Artie, don’t leave me, please don’t leave Art, don’t leave

It was the only thing you could think of, the only thing that gave you hope, it must have been alive, it still had to be. You stumbled and fall, hurting your knee. No, it wasn't time to check your own injuries, you had to get to Arthur, you had to save him.

You got up and went back up the stairs until you reached the end. You ran again to the address of his building. You looked at the building from afar, the lights in his apartment were on. Could that mean a good thing?

You walked into his building, and you got the idea again that you had to run into the stairs, you couldn't risk using the junk elevator in his building.

In that elevator that when stopped Arthur and you took advantage to give himself long and charming kisses.

Please Arthur, don’t leave me

You went up the stairs until you got to the eighth floor. You ran to his apartment door.

And you stopped abruptly.

A cold shiver you felt, paralyzed. That torment was so horrible. You were afraid to come in, you were afraid to open the door and find Arthur lifeless.

As soon as you thought about it, you wanted to die with him, you didn't want to see his dead body, you didn't want to be at his funeral, crying in his coffin, you didn't want to bury him in a cemetery.

He are your whole life; he are the love you always dreamed. You didn't want to lose him.

With more fear than you could stand, you took the doorknob and turned it. You pushed the door slowly and you came in the same way, you were so afraid to find his body.

There was nothing in the living room, there was nothing in the kitchen either, or at least what you could get to see from the kitchen. You looked down the hall, empty.

He'd probably be in his room or in the bathroom. And you didn't have the courage to get to the room or the bathroom.

You looked down and, on the floor, you found his jacket. Your feelings were overflowing in your eyes. Seeing his jacket on the floor for you was the meaning he was already gone. You crouched down and took her jacket, hugged it, it had his scent.

Everything was so quiet, everything around you was clouded. Everything stopped makes sense. You cried with sorrow. You felt lonely, so lonely. Your heart broke.

And in the midst of your crying, you moaned his name.

“Arthur”.

You were hoping that just saying his name, give you the strength you needed in that moment.

You hugged his jacket harder. You didn't want to live without him, you didn't want to do all your plans without him. You felted you are nothing without him.

“y/n?”

Your breathing was cut into a deep drowning and you regained the air your lungs needed. And somehow, your soul returned to your body.

He was there. He was still there.

The voice came from the room, without thinking and while hugging his jacket, you went there.

You walked to him, and you saw him.

Arthur was sitting there, sitting on his bed, without his shirt, his eyes were swollen, and you could see a few small cuts on his wrists. Your heart broke again, but you tried to hold on.

“What are you doing here?” He asks so confusedly and fearful.

“What you think?”

And you couldn't hold it anymore. You went to him and you hugged him. He hugged you tight, too. You both cried.

"I’m so sorry, y/n" Arthur cried "It wasn't my intention, it wasn't my intention to worry you"

“Art…”

You couldn't even talk. And as weird as it was heard, you were happy, happy that you could hug him one more time.

You looked at him and without losing the opportunity, you kissed him deeply. He needed love at the time, he really needed it, and you'd give it to him.

“Art, sorry”

“What? Why?”

“I'm sorry if I haven't shown you all my love. Arthur, I was so scared, I was so afraid to lose you…"

You couldn't help crying in front of him. Just moments ago, you thought he wouldn't be with you anymore, that still hurt, even when he was in front of you. And Arthur couldn't help feel so guilty when he saw you cry.

“Please forgive me, y/n, forgive me…” Feeling embarrassed, Arthur tried to explain himself “I couldn't stop feeling bad, I couldn't. I just wanted to stop feeling so bad. I'm sorry if you're worried, y/n, I’m sorry”

And without his body warning him, his condition came afloat. You knew that when those attacks happened, he needed you more than ever. You cuddled his hair, gently put his face between your neck and your shoulder. He laughed for a long time; it was the first time he laughed too long with you. You waited patiently, caressing his back.

“I…I tried" He was finally able to talk "I made me a few cuts... But I thought of you, I thought of us, and I couldn't go on..." You felt his warm tears fall on your neck, and yours came out of your eyes again "I didn't know if I kept going, I couldn't after I thought of you. And you came, y/n. You came here and saved me…”.

He raised his head a little and saw you in your eyes again. "If you're angry with me, I understand. If you want to leave me, that's fine, you don't have to stay with me, not after I put you through on this”

You gasped. You couldn't believe what Arthur was telling you.

“Art, what the fuck are you...? No! I'm not leaving you for this "

“But y/n, I don't... Just look at me, I'm a fucking mess. I worried you, I made you cry, you don't deserve this, I definitely don't deserve you"

You took his face with both hands and looked him in his eyes. "Arthur, I wouldn't be angry with you for this, I'm not going to leave you too. Stop believing in that”

“But y/n”

“But nothing, Arthur… I love you; I really love you…”

“Y-y-you, are you sure y/n? are you sure about…?”

“Yes, Arthur, you know I take love seriously; I'll take ours seriously too"

A couple of tears fell from Arthur's eyes, he looked down again "Do you really love me? Even when I'm a... A freak?”

Arthur looked at the wounds on his wrists. Did you really love him despite that?

“My darling, you’re not a freak. I love every part of you, even those that others consider bad”

Arthur felt he was going to die of love. He hugged you back. "I’m sorry y/n"

"I forgive you, my Arthur. I'll always be with you, never doubt that"

As he hugged you, Arthur felt safe, felt like he was in home. Only you could make him feel that way. He had been so alone in his life that as a result of that attempt to attack his own life he feared losing the only good thing he had left: you.

You went to the bathroom for a medicine cabinet, you healed those cuts that he made himself.

“y/n?” Arthur asked, still embarrassed.

“Yes, darling?” You responded calmly.

“C-can you stay with me tonight?”

You couldn't help smile at him

"Of course I do, my Artie" And you saw him smile. The smile that melted your heart. You took off your shoes and uncomfortable clothes, staying in your underwear. Arthur asked about the injury to your knee, you told him it was an accident at the work, you didn't want to make him feel bad. And oddly enough you started to feel your body tired and hurt after running all over Gotham.

Both went into bed, you hugged him and he hugged you again, and returned to give him little kisses all over his face. “y/n?”

“Yes?”

“I love you too”

Both smiled, you kiss his lips, kissing him deeply again. You still kissing his face until he could sleep.

You knew it was going to be hard, you'd been warned, but with Arthur you weren't going to give up, you weren't going to leave him alone.

You remembered that everyone deserved to be loved, even him. You would love him, despite the difficulties, even though he might fall into pieces from time to time, you would always be there for him, to heal his wounds, to help him get up, to love him in his darkest days.

[zitaar]

Not the first time I sketch LWJ, but well, I like this one, he seems young and pouty :D And it’s a first sketch in this year! x’D

Around 2 years ago or maybe a bit earlier I read Mo Dao Zushi novel and was sososo in love with it, I can’t) And had no one to scream about how it’s so awesome xD That was so sad x’D And now, when CQL is out and I fell for this story all over again, I’m really glad to see so many people liking MDZ across the world<3

Seems like my english became weird again, haven’t used it like forever)

Also I have alot of things to say to my close ones. I have so much gratitude towards them and so much love bottled up in me :D That’s like finally be awake after a long sad dream full of emptiness and numbness. It’s kinda sad to not feel

anything at all and see years pass by, like you are not even alive. But I’m happy seeing all the changes in me. So lucky I met all those wonderful people! Being such unemotional and reserved person stuck in depression for almost half of my life, I now feel like a young kid, that just started exploring this world, taking first cautios steps. Discovering my own emotions, feelings, wants I didn’t even knew existed. If you don’t have such problems, it may sound funny I guess, but for me the issue was almost unbearable :) There was even a time, when I didn’t have any energy nor strength to get out of bed, wishing I was never born to this world or at least that I could never wake up. Since being very young I was searching for an answer of ‘what’s wrong with me?’, trying my best to fit in and failing miserably until that one moment I was gifted with a sunny person that I will never stop loving. Those years were beautiful. I started thinking, maybe there’s nothing wrong with me, maybe I’m just different, like everybody are. When our ways parted, I felt like I’m so dead inside, I could easily be mistook for a real corpse and no one would notice the difference XD Though I was prepared to such events, I was so broken it was no joke. It was so traumatising I even have a memory loss for about a year. I can’t recal what was I doing, with whom was I talking almost everyday during that one year, where was I going...It's a HUGE memory blackout :D I was even expelled from University several times those dark years, but didn’t give a damn, trying to cope through life issues x’D It took me around 7-8 years to come back to my sences and stop that wound from bleeding and hurting. Urgh~ One of my now best friends was given to me just in that right time. Reaching out to me everyday, it could be sooooo annoying if I could feel anything, but I was so amased and also didn’t understand WHY ME of all people, because I was not much funnier than a stone, just WHY :D

It’s been 8 years we know each other and 7 years we are closeclose friends such I consider a part of my family д Also about 20-21 years since my depression started. Around 15 years since I was so done and expirienced my first breakdown, that was powerful enough to make me lose my temper and all my reasons. 13 years since I wanted to feel anything so bad, that I started cutting myself, but being a person with a very high pain tolerance, I again felt nothing at all. That cost me half the year of total ignorance from one of my best friends, that accidently saw the cuts and thought it was their fault and avoided me for a long time. It felt so bad. [Gladly, I managed to clear misunderstanding and it’s almost 20 years now that we are friends Д! ] And it’s been almost 11 years since I had a breakdown losing my soulmate. My depression reached rock-bottom, never was it worse. And also it’s almost 4 years it stopped hurting so bad. For all those years I was smiling and laughing like everyone around me. Was looking like almost a complitely normal person. And I thought it was just something wrong with me, something broken, that I couldn’t fix no matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t voice it out and couldn’t ask for help, because I didn’t think it was a problem worth mentioning. I even didn’t know I was depressed, just accepted the fact that I’m the weirdo one, always wearing masks to please people with my behavior or emotional reactions, to avoid being caled angry, arrogant and cold, because those words hurt me deply before :) So much happend. I realised I have so much regrets, I was trying to block out regretful thoughts in my memory all my life. Felt like I paused my life and waited and waited and waited, thinking over and over again about all the things happend and all the words said, all the things I didn’t do. So much happiness expirienced also just as much sorrow. Time to move forward~

And 2019 is the year I finally felt something. Finally felt I am alive!

And today the past seems like a long-long dream.

I just wanted to say it out loud.

And for al the people, who happen to be stuck in same situation, feeling numb and empty, unworthy, week and fragile, just know, you can do it! There will be a moment, that everything will change! Don’t give up, there are always someone waiting for you in future, just don’t give up!  I believe in you! Just wait and you will see, that you can move mountains!

[followedbyraven]

About 15 years ago, from the very first episode, I got hooked up on a new tv show, “Supernatural”. It was amasing! 

It was a kind of magic that: - grips you and doesn’t let go; - follows you and stays on your mind for hours; - walks side by side through the years, sometimes becoming your shadow, sometimes wandering so far away that what is left is only a glimpse on the horizon of life.

After being for many years a part of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fandom and finding some kind of uneasy closure when Angel: the Series concluded I thought I swore the fandom life for good. I was young and somewhat naive, and didn’t understand the simple truth: once you step into this river - you will keep coming for more. 

Initially following the road that the Winchester brothers took in the first three seasons I was what is called a general audience. Ok, a bit more, cause I’ve long ago lost count how many times I watched each and every episode of seasons 1-3 during just that period. 

It was indeed MAGIC! Then came hellatus between 3rd and 4th seasons and I have to be honest, my interest in SPN was by that time slowly slipping away. I was incredibly busy at work, living life on the road, barely at home, working sometimes 14-16 hours a day, and loving every single moment of that. It was hard but I treasure memories of those times, despite terribly missing my husband, and comfort of home, and loved ones. Also it was almost impossible to keep up with SPN airing schedule. Not to mention that it was already some kind of miracle that I was almost religiously following SPN for three years. I do follow other TV shows but don’t get so attached.  I love parings, OTPs, to write and read fanfiction, to admire the talent of fanart creators and ingeniousness of meta-writers... but it takes two to tango, in other words - I need an OTP to properly function in the fandom. I wasn’t into any of the brothers and was a strictly het!shipper; I used to write slash for friends as a gift or commission but wasn’t really interested in it. Plus I’m One Fandom at a time, one OTP at a time kind of shipper, I don’t multitask when it comes to fandom life.  So yeah, for SPN I was a general audience for 3 years until an ruffled angel broke through the barn doors, got knifed in the heart as some kinky way of thanks for the save from Hell, flashed Dean some shadow wings and... It was amazing and it was awesome, and it was magic. Again. Just like that day I’ve watched SPN 1x01 for the very first time. 

Jack is a baby of the family. I wasn’t sure about this character and was afraid that I wouldn’t like him. So much suspense was build around his first appearance, so much negativity. But I was worried for nothing. He is a sweetheart and a darling, great addition to the story and to the show, he can be soft, naive and uncertain, but also fierce and protective of people he sees as part of a family. I was a complete “feels, feels, so many feels” from the first episode he appeared in. I still have half of season 14 and the rest of season 15 to catch up, but so far I like what I see.  Sam. I like Sam a lot and he means a lot to me and to a relationship I have with my brother. I may not often mention him but I treasure this character and admire him. I look at him for understanding, when me and my little brother, who is a head taller than me by now, can’t find a common ground. Sam taught me when I need to take a step back from heated discussion, evaluate my bro’s side of the argument once more, just simply understand and admit the very fact that some things I will never get, not really, not fully, but if this is his, my little brother’s, thing, I have to respect that and give him a much needed space. In the end it is his business, and his life, and it is he who has to live it and to have a control over it. Dean. I can’t get enough of Dean and I respect him. I’m not attracted to him, never was, just not my type, i guess, but to me he is that dear friend that gets it. Just simply GETS IT! He is an older brother just like I’m an older sister. And through the years, through the moments when I’m again and again completely baffled by my bro’s attics and can’t come with an appropriate response, one thought always comes to my mind:  What would Dean do? So yeah, 15 years of “what would Dean do” and that character feels like one of my best friends and supporters. He gets it - the straggle between the instinct to protect and the need to let go, make own way, through mistakes and hardships. Ready to offer support but not choking my babybro with it.

Cas. I adore Castiel, simply adore him. He is my favourite after all. But what is more important, I get inspiration and that extra infusion of strength from this character. I got a gift of better understanding my brother from Sam, and a possible course of action, a kind of battle plan, from Dean, but Castiel helps me to be myself, to enjoy life even when all I want is to crumble and weep. From him I got: If he could do it, so can I.  This is something unique, what I couldn’t receive from another human being, real or imagined, because I also often feel like an alien being. I don’t have a mental illness but I did experience a trauma when I was but a small child. And this kind of guano never fully goes away, never truly leaves mind. I lack a deeper understanding of a lot of simple things that many people take for granted, there are days when it feels like I don’t have a strength in me to step over the threshold into the street (but I still do it every day), and I still often stumble through the words to make a simple purchase at the supermarket (even after 10 years of going to the same store), and I feel disconnected from the world at large. I’m uncomfortable in the crowd and I’m that awkward weirdo at the party sitting al alone in the corner. 

Don’t get me wrong, I live a normal and fulfilling live, you may meet me on the street, in the crowd, shopping, smiling and chatting with friends (smile on my lips and easy going attitude), driving car, stepping on the train, I may even live next to you or in the same city. And you’ll never guess that despite the fact that smile on my lips is real (I am happy to be in this world, be a part of it), there is pain in my shoulders because I can’t relax them, and I feel lightheaded, and the world is slightly spinning and blurry from an effort to simply do what comes so natural to a lot of others - just walk on the street, just live my life, just be in this world. 

Many years ago I gave myself a promise: to get up everyday with a smile. No matter what, I always start my day with a smile. It’s a first thing I do when I open my eyes. Over the time it became a second nature. That little extra drop of good mood before morning tea comes automatically through no effort at all. During the day that small infusion of happiness may grow into a true joy or it may slowly fade away. And it’s that second scenario when I remember that if an alien being could do it - find inner strength to go on through high and low, to navigate the strange world of human beings... Well, I am human and simply because of my own nature, from the get go, I already have it much easier than him, this fictional character which slowly managed to mean so much to me.

Overshare much? Maybe. Actually, for sure.  My apologies to all who is not comfortable with such kind of openness.  I don’t feel that it is a right time and I am in the right mood to talk about my OTP, so I will leave it for another time when I have an urge to explode into a massive firework of feels and words. 

But this is my tribute to Supernatural and to all people who brought these amazing, wonderful, beloved characters to life, gave them shape and form: the cast, the crew, the team of writers, everyone involved on every step of the road.  15 years, people! This is a big slice of my life, of anyone’s life. This is my thanks, and my love, and my gratitude. I’ve never been to convention, never met anyone of them and most likely never will, but I needed to give form to what I feel. Am I sad that SPN is almost over? Sure, I will cry a river when the final episode arrives! But I understand that everything eventually comes to an end. It was a beautiful run but I respect their decision and stand by it. And I already know what I want for Christmas or as a birthday gift when a full 15 (or is it 16 now with such a long corona-hiatus between already aired and still in production episodes?) season boxset hits the stores (Blue-Ray, pretty please, with as much extras and bonus materials as possible)

P.S. But you know whom I also want to thank and hug, and shower with love? All my fandom mates, known to me and total strangers, all those incredibly talented, wonderful, amazing people who write fanfiction, create art, express their love for the show through any possible creative outlet. No matter the stan, no matter the ship, over the years I’ve met truly great, kind, friendly and positive people in every wing of the fandom. YOU ARE AWESOME!

[og-doubletrouble-kinnie]

SPOP Season 4 notes

Spoilers obvi

Gonna be a bit different from my s3 notes, as I’m p much just gonna liveblog stuff here- Since I dont wanna spoil my friends... Rip 😔

Ep 1:

Mom: Icecream cake :-D me, sobbing: Mom I love you

Every time my mom does something I cry. I love and miss her sm

YALL JUST HURTIN PERFUMA LIKE THIS-

WHY CAN THE SWORD BE A MOP-

Ya know I always thought Hordaks red teeth were fuckin weird af

GRANDMA GRANDMA GRANDMA GRANDMA

GO GET MY GIRLFRIEND YOU UGLY KITTY

EMILYYYYYYYYY AWAAAA

They really out here just reusing the princess prom outfits huh?

Really though I swear if Entrapta doesnt come back I’ll scream. You cant just trade in my beautiful amasing gf for me. I know I’m great but I swear.

Rip Auntie Angella.... 😔

I wasn’t even there for the corrination- I kinda feel bad for that but... I was alittle busy... With somethin- Hell if I know what.

HELL YEAH QUEEN GLIMMERRR

Oh hot diggity Catra-

Look I may not like her but I can really respect her tactics....

EP 2:

Okay what does Perfuma have against the crimson wastes- Hopefully its (Rightful) fear!

Oh nooo the gooooo

One does not simply call Adora soft

Aweeee Perfuma and Bow bonding...

Perfuma is cacti-phobic hahahaha

O.O Wheres the ship

Huntara eats sand and theres nothing you can do about it.

OOOO NEW TOWN NEW TOWN NEW TOWN

MEMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEME

AH YES MY FIRST WORDS ARE BEING SCORPIA AND FLIRTING WITH CATRA. HOW FITTING.

God im so dramatic I love it

Perfuma Im so proud of you bb

Hot take? Perfuma x Huntara

AWEEE IM SO HAPPYYYYYYYY

Honestly being Catra was always fun

Ep 3:

Pajamas Catra? Catra without her headband? Wild shit. Wild shit.

She cute tho ngl

Oh hecc its time to fuck with the rebels-

I s2g its rly lookin like my tl may just be flip flopped on which side I helped- Idk... its only ep 3 jfkbgf

Wittle moth society... so cute...

Flutterina... Adorable

SHE RA CAKE

The moth town leader is adorable. Precious old lady. I love her. her design is amazing. 10/10 I love her

Wait what-

Ohhhh my god what happened-

Catra if you dont start appreciating Scorpia right this second I swear to god I will appreciate her myself.

Flutterina is so precious. All her fangirling...

Are we gonna explorer the whole.. reaction catra has every time someone mentions the Portal??

MAGICAL SACRED BOND TIME

FLUTTERINA IS A PRECIOUS BABY AND I LOVE HERRR

SCORPIAAAA SIS GET OVER HERE LEMME HUG UUUU

Oh....

OH

O H

OKAY

I AM ON BOARD WITH THIS

Ep.4

Spinerella and nettossa are precious 100%

Okay but I’m right. tiny cute and pink. I didnt even catch it. I done fooled myself.

Am cutie

GRANDMAS BA C K BOIISSSSS

god I love shadow weaver. I miss her sm

B O BB N O

OKAY SPOT ON BO IMPRESSION!

IM SO CUUUTTTEEE

Yaaayyyyy Catras having fun!

WEAVER LIKES DAISIES. PRECIOUS. AWA. GWANDMAAAA

She makes great bait and u know it.

Oh no are the gfs fighting-

Catra legit thought glimmer was me I love this-

CATRA WHY DO YOU KNOW WHAT GLITTER TASTES LIKE-

..... Okay literally as I type thet I get mems of her eating glitter okay cool

Ohhh That was cool-

Hey Catra dont hide your grateful attitude you dick

God I love these girlfriends

LET WEAVER BE GOOD ADORA

This is cute

Ep 5

Kyle you precious little boy

Oh are they finally gonna develop these three?

Ditzy light hope is cute light hope

SHES ALL SMILEYYYY

I love Kyle launie and roheleo... Precious

“I made a crystal :-D”

“I know what will help!” “no dont-”

Kyle I love you

“Oh trust me the information is never gonna load for you.”

Lookit these... three siblings.... Blessed babes

COMPUTER MOM HAS EMOTIONS

AWA

KYLE BABY NOOO

HARD SQUINTING AT LIGHT HOPE

EP 6

Oh boi Scoria episode here we go

God I love that she kept Emily....

Scorpia is too bright and cheery for the hoarde. Redeem her damnit

Hecc I hate that Im being so mean to the best friend squad but oooog its so fun to watch

Emily’s personality is so cuuuteee -w-

Emily scared of Catra.. precious

SCORPIA YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER-

I wanna hug her so bad

Hehehehehehe >:)

Damnit Bo, ruining my work-

CRYING

Scorpias entrapta impression tho

SCORPIA YOU TOUCH THAT GARNET GOD DAMNIT

Im gonna cry, emilys recordings....

GOD I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND-

..... Whats goin on with the Garnet...

LET GLIMMER BE DARK

THE GREATEST HUGS, SCORPIA. GREATEST HUGS

Emily youre so smart.

SCORPIA FINALLY KNOWIN SHES WORTH BETTER HELL YEAH YOU GO SISTER

Catra rly needs a hug tbh

OHHHH HELL YESSSSSS

God I wanna know more about the scorpion kingdom....

Ep 7

Mermista you are too happy when holding everyone in a room against their will

OH OKAY THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY

SPOILERS MERMISTA

Ohhh hohoho I am lovin this story~

Shadow weaver bein an embarassing mom to Adora, adorable

Adora was absolutely suspicious of Weaver in my tl 100% Sure I made her more trusted, but Adora is stubborn

BFDJKGBFJKD ENTRAPTAS HELPERS ARE IN THE CASTLE

Ooooooo This is a great ep...

Ohh Im having fun arent I~

Ohhhhhhh Shiiiiiiiiiiit Rip selenious

Ep8

I hope yallre keepin an eye on me, Or I’ll get out >:-)

Awee depressed baby :-(

SHANTYYYY

OH THIS IS PRECIOUS

Seahawk this is a terrible idea....

This better be a musical episode

BDHJFBD WRONG KIDNAPPERS

I love depressed mermista

Return of the she-mop!

Oooo seahawk past....

Awee Catra misses Scorpia

And is finally realizin shes gone

O u c h poor Seahawk

OW GLIMMER

HELL YEAH MERMISTA

“A SEAGULL TOLD ME!”

Oooo Catra, a natural born killer~

I love bein able to finally see Octavia in action

Low key musical Ep, hell yesssss

I already shipped mermista and seahawk but this ep... Is just makin me ship it more....

SCORPIA HAS MOMS

The fact that it took this long for Catra to finally go to scorpias room and check on her

How the fuck do the boats work

Ep 9

OHHHHH Razz gets the sheras mixed up thats honestly so cute-

Razz... I lov u

I love her refrences to the old charas

Razzzz awe precious.. The first time...

Oooo I love seein Mara

AWEE LIGHT HOPE SOFT FOR MARA

Good I feel bad for Razz tbh??? hoppin back and forth between Sheras

MARAS TRANSFORMATIONNNNN

God she looks so much better than Adora holy fuck

NOOO RAZZ DONT CRYYY

HOLY FUCKING SH I WHAT THE F U CFDHFDJBKJGBSKED

Hot fucking damn I didnt expect this what the sh iiiiiii

I STILL WANNA HUG RAZZ-

Ep 10

DAMN IM SO COLD XD

That fuckin POOF

PLEAAASSEE LET ME AND WEAVER BOND PLZ I WANT MY GRANDMAAAAA

Let Frosta nap 2020

SCORPIAAAA

DONT SNEAK UP BEHIND SCORPIA

Daaaamn Catra... Go take a nap hun, you look terrible

Oh sweetie.....

Glimmer please you didn’t see what they saw.

Aaaannnnd Okay the queenliness is goin to her head cool

SCORPIA BABYYYY

Caaaatttrrraaaaa

LOOPY LOOP BETRAYAL

God I love them learning the ship

FBHJSDBFSJHVFD OH MY GOD FAKE TEARS

SHE DID IT IM SO PROUD OF HERRR

Ep11

Eeeeee I hope they find my blessed gorl.....

Whats swifty hearin..

OH SHIT SHERA DOESNT WORK-

I cant believe the first ones just have a fucking dump

MICHA MICHAM ICHA ITS MY UCLE I KNOW IT

HELL YEAH BAEBEEEEEE

I KNEW HE WAS ALIVE

Sweet my uncles just a lil crazy haha

MICHA I LOV YOU

Awaaaaaa

Glimmer loses one parent and gains the other. Girl only gets one parent at a time. Hahahaha

The world has to nerf her lmao

Hell yeah hes cool!

Okay cool proof that Lighthope just wants to activate the weapon

Guys just tell him she’s a teenager omfg

Hoooooly hecc

NOOOOOOOO aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

SHE RAAAAA

MY WIIIFFFEEEE

AAAAAAAA

YAASSSS

EEEEE

Ohhhh Scorpia is the key.....

Interesting.......

Ep 12

EVEN WEAVER IS CONFUSED

You bet you ass Ive escaped bitches >:)

-cries- I’ve missed my wife

Awaaa she never changes!

Someone hug Catra I s2g

DT nooooooo

SHE SHOWS NO CONNECTION BECAUSE YOU TOOK IT WEAVER-

I adore Weaver in this season- Who am I kidding, I adore Weaver in every season

THe hoarde is led by two kids who just need some tender love and care

God Ive missed her...

SWEETIE WHY ARE YOU SO CHEERY ALL THE TIME- AAA I LOVE YOU

squinty

Uhhhggggg I now hate that I remember having a runestone of my own

Tho I DO wanna know what kinda powers Scorpia will get....

Sweetie no non onononononononononononononoono

BABY NOOO NO NO O NONONONONONONONONONO

IM GONNA CRY SHE BETTER BE OKAY-

YESS BABY

AWAAA ENTRAPTA I LOVE YOUUUU

bdhsvfbjskbfd I can only do her hair bjkvfdbgfkd

OWO IM SO SMART YET SO DUMB

HORDAK TEARS?!

Hehehehehe YES I HELPED GLIMMER

Ep 13

Nobodies followin Catra anymore lmao

Ohhhh shit Catras gonna d i e

Rip in pieces Hordak

Ohhh shiiiiiiii

SEAHAWK LIL HEART EYES

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I love callin Catra out ohhhh my g o d

OOoooooo Lightning!

I gotta question that rn Glimmer...

Damnit Hordak aint dead...

Ohhh hecc hecc hecc hecc

OH SHIT THE SWORD-

Ya rly just teleport a whole room like that-

I like horde prime-

His eyes are cool and his palette is so much nicer aaaa

Fffffuck

Fave season so far

And not just cause I’m finally in it xD

Expect more posts when the mems really start pouring... Gotta figure out how all this changed in my TL since it DEFINITELY wasn’t just like this-