#I also told my landlord I’m moving out in a month and was a weight off my shoulders

[questwithambition]

The Grad Life - Day 11/50 (23/09/23)

Today was a day of museums. Being a lover of museums and living in London is a blessing - so many free ones. I’d only planned the visit to the museum of the order of St John in the morning, which was lovely albeit small (stunning building though), but I walked south a bit and stumbled across the Tate Modern and decided to go in. That’s when my luck hit because a tour was about to start and I had a great guide, and it made me enjoy and understand everything so much more! I’m typing this sat in the museum cafe, very ready for a quiet evening in.

[ronnie-azumane]

Rebound

Kuroo Tetsurou x female reader 18+

NSFW, IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18, PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT

Warning: mentions of breakup, cunnilingus, 1 photo taken (nature of which is slightly nonconsensual), aftercare

A/N: So, uhh, these past few months have been wack in regards to my love life. I went from breaking off an almost 2-year long distance relationship, to proclaiming that I’m gonna have a hoe phase on Tinder, to actually meeting a guy who I actually like (who knew I would have a successful Tinder relationship?!?!)…….. soooooooo

ALSO-- this is my first (serious) smut I've ever written. Please be kind.

ALSO ALSO-- if this gets enough love, I might make this concept into a full-blown fic

You did everything right. You made time for him. You gave him gifts. You sent him both a good morning and a goodnight text every day. You fulfilled his needs, even when it didn't necessarily benefit you.

Or so you thought.

If you didn't answer that butt-dial from him and heard the pants and moans coming from his end, you would have lived happily in ignorant bliss. If you didn't go to check on him to see if he was ok, you wouldn't be in the predicament you found yourself in currently.

Now you find yourself, wrapped in blankets, crying on his neighbor's couch.

Your boyfriend would always complain about his next door neighbor Tetsurou Kuroo, how he would be the reason your boyfriend got in trouble with loud music and smoking with the landlord. However, despite your boyfriend's hatred of him, you grew close to the rooster head, becoming proper friends and not the girl who apologizes after every night she gets a little loud. He didn't approve of this friendship, but there wasn't much he could do about it.

Now that he's your ex, there is absolutely nothing he could do about it.

"So you walked in and saw him banging his coworker?" Tetsurou asked, placing a glass of cold water into your hand. Your body shook as you lifted the glass up to your lips to take a sip. You then set the glass down on the side table.

"Yes, and it was the one he told me not to worry about." you stuttered. You didn't care much for that coworker. She always seemed to weasel her way into your relationship. Date nights were cut short by her calling your [now ex] boyfriend to help her with a problem. He always seemed to be texting or calling her, and when you would ask why, he would just say 'work' and close his phone so you couldn't see. You would express your concern, but he would assure you that he only had eyes for you.

What bullshit.

Your wails of agony have since subsided to small sniffles. Your breathing was still rapid and without control, but for the most part you were calming down.

Then your phone went off, sounding a text tone that you had specifically saved for your now ex boyfriend.

As you reach for your phone, Tetsurou grabs a hold of it.

"Gimmie that," you whine.

"Password," Tetsurou demands.

"W-what? I'm not just gonna give-"

"Password!" Tetsurou demands even louder. Sighing, you tell him your password and he unlocks your phone. He reads over the text your ex sent you, talking about how you didn't know the whole story and scoffs. He taps on your phone a bit and gently tosses it on the couch cushion next to you as she sits himself down.

"Blocked him for you. He was going on about how you don't know the whole story and that this was the first and only time he messed up. Newsflash, I'm his neighbor, and the girl he has been with the last few weeks definitely wasn't you."

"Oh," you sniffle. So your suspicions were correct. This had been going on for quite a bit. "If you knew, why didn't you tell me earlier?" you asked Tetsurou.

"Well, honestly, I just put the pieces together this morning," Tetsurou replies. The walls are thin, so he could hear every gasp and moan that happened on the other side. He figured it was you, since you were his girlfriend after all. He would just turn on a show and watch it to tune out the love making on the other side of the wall. However, when he didn't receive the usual sorry note under the door that you would write, he knew something was up. The amount of times he would have to turn on his show wasn't going down, but the amount of the little notes he received was.

"You know, I don't think he ever loved me," you say, turning away from Tetsurou. "I honestly think he only liked the idea of me." The waterworks started to flow again.

"I tried so hard, you know? I know he didn't treat me the best, but I stuck with it because I thought he truly loved me," you sob into your hands. You smash your palms into your eyes as you cry out, as if you are trying to stop the tears coming out of your eyes. But they don't stop. If anything, they start to flow out faster.

"What did I do wrong?"

As soon as that question escaped your lips, Tetsurou pulled you into his lap and pressed you head against his chest. You cried even harder, balling his tear-soaked t-shirt in your clenched fists. He ran his nails across your scalp, lightly scratching it in an attempt to calm you down. Usually you would tell him to stop so as to not mess up your hair, but hair was the last thing on your mind at the moment. His other hand was rubbing your back, grounding you from the emotions racking your body at the moment.

"You did nothing wrong," he whispered over and over again in your ear, repeating until you calmed back down. He reached across from you and grabbed the glass of cold water and placed you off of his lap.

"Please drink up, I think you cried half of your water weight in the past 30 minutes alone," he joked, earning a small giggle from you. "I hate to leave you alone, but I'm going to change real fast and get you some bubble tea from that place down the street you like. Sound like a plan?" He asked, earning a nod from you.

With that, he stood up and left to go change and get some tea. You sat back on the couch and watched the door close shut. Now you were alone.

You had been in his apartment a couple times before, but now you were truly looking around at his décor. He didn't have much hanging on his walls, but he had a few pictures here and there. One was of his old volleyball team from high school. He stood in the middle with his red number 1 jersey sticking out for all to see that he was the captain.

Another picture he had on the wall was a picture of a small girl in his arms. After recalling a couple of conversations the two of you had, you remembered that he did have an older sister who had a daughter of her own. His niece.

Her short black hair was sticking up into two little pigtails, each decorated with a small pink bow. Her fluffy pink dress contrasted beautifully with the black dress shirt Tetsurou was wearing. Both of their smiles reached their ears.

He looked pretty good.

You sit there thinking, realizing only now that Tetsurou, the 'nasty neighbor' of your ex boyfriend, your friend, was pretty attractive. How come he didn't have a girlfriend of his own? Did he maybe swing the other way? You shook that thought out of your head when you remembered the stories he would tell of his high school sweetheart.

What happened to her?

While you're lost in thought, you don't hear the front door opening up.

"Here!" Tetsurou shouts, scaring the living daylights out of you. In one hand he's holding two cups of tea with the little tapioca balls at the bottom, and in the other are two straws. You sigh in relief as he sits down next to you, handing you your tea and straw.

"Tetsurou, what ever happened to that girl you dated in high school?" you ask as you stab the straw through the plastic.

"Oh, Alisa? It wasn't too brutal. Our futures were going in different directions and we just fell out of love," he shrugged as you sipped some tea and a few balls of tapioca.

The silence is deafening. Every time you glance at him, you shutter. 'How did I not see how hot he is earlier?' you scold to yourself.

The longer you look at him, the more you get worked up. Your eyes travel downwards to his neck. His Adams apple is sticking out, not too much, but just the perfect amount. They continue downward to his arms, which are framed beautifully by the cotton t-shirt he's wearing. His veins twist across his muscular arm and down to his hands.

Oh god his hands! The roughness of the veins popping out contrast with the smooth, even coloring of his skin. light callouses dot his palms, but for the most part, his hands are soft. perfect for caressing-

Not paying attention, you start to choke on a tapioca pearl. Coughing and wheezing, and with a little help from Tetsurou, you get it out of your windpipe. You pull the straw a little higher to avoid any more tapioca at the moment to catch your breath.

"You alright?" Tetsurou asks, and you nod a little too frantically. He squints his eyes and stares at you for a little bit, seeking confirmation that you're actually ok and not lying to him. Pursing your lips together in a sort-of smile, he takes that as the confirmation he needs and moves back to his drink.

The way he sips on the straw, how his soft, supple lips form around the straw and suck. The way the tea he's drinking dribbles down his chin just a little bit. The way he moves his thumb over his chin to wipe it up.

It shouldn't be getting you this worked up.

"So, is there anything you want to do now?" Tetsurou asked, reaching for the remote as if to imply that they should watch something on the TV. The way his arm flexes as he reaches across you.

You can't take it anymore.

"I want you to fuck me!" you blurt. As soon as the words left your lips, your hands shot up to cover your mouth.

Now it is his turn to choke on his tea. He drops the remote and it breaks apart on the wooden floor. Your hands migrate from your mouth to cover your face. This has to be the most embarrassing moment in your life.

"W-what?" Tetsurou asked, finally catching his breath. You keep your hands on your face, as if they are glued in place. The last thing you want is to look at him, much less in the eye.

"Ju-just ignore what I said! It's not important!" you frantically wave your hands around, hoping maybe they can help you fly away from the current situation.

Alas, you are merely human, and must suffer through the consequences of your actions.

Frantically, you shoot up from your seat, mumbling a string of farewells as you walk toward the door. However, you do not make it far, as you find your hand encapsulated in Tetsurou's as he yanks you back onto your spot on the couch.

"You can't just leave after saying something like that," Tetsurou mumbles. His ears are burning bright red while his cheeks are dusting a soft pink.

"Don't worry about it, I'll just download tinder and relive my frustrations there," you stutter, trying to stand up. However, under Tetsurou's grip and stare, your attempts are rendered futile. Fully realizing the situation, you sigh and throw your head back against the back of the couch.

"Fine," you mumble, blushing, "sorry for making you uncomfortable, I definitely did not mean to say that out loud."

Silence.

Unsure of what to do, you start to explain yourself.

"I'm just so frustrated, and I just wanted to... you know... get him back, like an eye for an eye type of deal," yo ramble on.

Tetsurou dropped his head into the palms of his hands, nodding his head left and right.

"And while you were gone, I kinda realized how attractive you were and i-"

"I never said I wouldn't, did I?" Tetsurou asked, not lifting his face out of his hands.

With that statement, the air is sucked out of your lungs. Your heart beats faster in your chest, while simultaneously wrapping itself tight within your body.

"No, uh, you don't have t-"

""Honestly, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to... for a while now," Tetsurou admitted, "So I'll do it, my only rule being that we won't go all the way today."

You press your fists into your plush thighs. "Why not? You literally just admitted that you were attracted to me," you ask.

"Because I don't want to give myself false hope."

"Why would fucking give y-" you tried to ask before Tetsurou interrupted your interruption.

"You just broke up with your long time boyfriend, a messy break-up I may add. Your emotions are all over the place. I really like you, (y/n), I just don't want to be your rebound. I want to be with you because you truly like me, not to get back at your shitty ex next door." He let out, like a breath held underwater.

"Oh," you whisper. He made a great point. What were your intentions right now? Was this all a ploy to get revenge on your ex? Did you actually like Tetsurou that way?

Did it really matter?

"So what?" you ask, stunning Tetsurou into silence.

Tetsurou swallows the lump in his throat and asks you to clarify.

"Well, there is a mutual attraction, and we both clearly want this, why don't we just go for it and see what happens?" you ask.

The pause is long and silent. Tetsurou’s eyes were looking everywhere but at you. Did he actually want this? Yes, but in this way? He took a glance in your direction and saw you still staring down at your tea, swiveling the ice around in circles.

You were definitely a sight for sore eyes in Tetsurou’s ever so humble opinion. The way your face was tinted the slightest red color made his heart melt. He would never forgive his neighbor for what he did to you, making your larger than life personality look small and meek.

Overwhelmed with feelings of both attraction and adoration, he simply couldn’t help himself. He promised himself he wouldn’t do this, but after all this time of him secretly crushing on her from a distance, he just couldn’t hold out anymore.

He grabbed your face and turned it toward him, crashing his lips onto yours.

The kiss became more feverish as the seconds passed. A simple peck turned into moments of locking lips, trying to taste each other.

His lips were thin, however soft, with the slight sting of mint chapstick tingling your tongue. You decided to take initiative and slipped your tongue out to taste his bottom lip. He took the signal and included his tongue in the dance, the two muscles stroking together as he grasped the hair on the back of your head and pulled you closer.

As the make-out session continued, the two of you started to position yourselves on the couch; you lying against the armrest and him balancing himself on top of you. Once in this position, his hands started to wander across your body.

Every curve of yours was not left without attention. His hands traveled from behind your head to your chest, from your chest to down your stomach, from your stomach to your thighs, and finally spread your thighs apart to gain access to your covered core, where you wanted to feel his hands the most.

His kisses started trailing south to the crook of your neck, moving from kissing to sucking as he started to rub your clothed slit. An airy gasp escaped your lips, enjoying all the sensations you were feeling at the moment. Once he was satisfied by the purple bruise left just above your collarbone, he started to sit up, causing you to whine from the loss of contact.

Your whining soon stopped however when you noticed him grabbing at your shorts, working to pull them down. As he started to pull down, your breath got caught in your throat, causing it to be held in. Flinging your shorts and panties behind him, he gently kissed your thigh and asked, “Do you still want this, you seem a little tense?”

“Yes!” you gasp a little too fast. His breath was so warm against your wet pussy, teasing you to the point of no return.

“Ok, you have to let me know if you get too overwhelmed or want to stop at any point,” he says before diving down. You are about to acknowledge him until a heavy gasp escapes your lips before you can give your confirmation.

Tetsurou didn’t hesitate going down on you. He simply couldn’t wait any longer. Simply pumping his fist wasn’t doing it for him anymore.

He started to kiss, flick, and suck at your clit, making you breathe harder with the rising pleasure. His movements were soft and light, but they were shaking your very core. He grabbed your thighs and placed them over his shoulders, giving him more access.

His movement was simple, something you could easily replicate with your fingers and maybe a quality toy, but that didn’t change how it was working on you. Your heavy breaths turned into soft whimpers as the pleasure began to bubble up.

You were progressing nicely, but Kuroo didn’t think it was progressing fast enough. To remedy his frustrations, he rubbed his fingers against your wetness, slicking it up to start thrusting into you.

The anticipation of his fingers slipping into you made your whimpers louder. He switched up his mouth to sucking your clit between his teeth and flicked it with his tongue and slowly inserted a finger. He pressed the pad of his finger against the ceiling and started to thrust in and out, rubbing against the entirety of your g-spot softly.

This new sensation had you bucking your hips and bubbling over with pleasure, pretty much ripping the orgasm out of you. Tetsurou smiled as you rode out your orgasm, moaning and whimpering small vowel sounds.

The orgasm was nice, but Tetsurou knows you can be louder, he's definitely heard you get louder at least.

Before you can fully recover from your high, his lips reattach to your clit and insert two fingers into you. The moan that escaped your lips was loud and almost pornographic. He smirked, knowing your shit ex next store most likely heard it.

Although, he knew that the fun this round was only just beginning.

Instead of thrusting his fingers in and out, he started to press his fingers up against you, as if he was motioning for you to come here.

The new motion of his fingers mixed with his lips sucking and tongue flicking at your clit was causing you to sprint to the edge way too fast. You couldn’t hold back your moans by control alone, so you bit the back of your hand in an attempt to suppress the noise.

Tetsurou was having none of that today. Using his other hand, he rips your arm away from you, silently implying that he wants to hear how loud you were being.

You try to ground yourself by grasping the armrest behind you, although that doesn’t do much to stop yourself from the orgasm that's rising far too quickly.

Your moans are getting louder and louder as you get closer and closer. Tetsurou has you teetering on the edge as his movement gets faster and faster. Soon your coil snaps and you find yourself cumming harder than you ever have before.

You thrash your head side to side as your hips buck up toward his fingers. He removes his lips and fingers and starts to quickly rub his fingers back and forth on your clit as you ride out your orgasm, extending the peak longer than what you're used to.

As you start to once again come down from your high, you hear soft chuckling coming from Tetsurou. You look up to find his shirt soaking wet.

“Di-did i-i do that?” You ask, afraid of the answer.

“If you’re referring to the squirting, yes, you just did. Hard,” Kuroo smirks, causing your already flushed face to burst even more red in embarrassment. Instinctively, you hide your face behind your hands, as if you could magically disappear if you couldn’t see him.

“Pretty hot,” he mutters to himself before beginning to suckle on your inner thigh, allowing you to completely come down before going back at it. Beyond your blissful sighs, Tetsurou heard your phone buzzing in the background.

Blocked Number.

An evil smirk came to his face as a sinister idea popped into his mind. While you were blissfully unaware of your phone buzzing, Tetsurou opened your phone and unblocked your ex, just to see if he was reacting to the pretty sounds you were making.

And reacted, he did.

Countless messages flooded your phone after Tetsurou unblocked his number, with messages ranging from ‘come back, let’s talk baby,’ to ‘you better not be with Kuroo right now.’ The final message read, “I know that’s you at Kuroo’s apartment, you fucking bitch.”

“Tetsurou, what are you doing?” you ask, finally in grip with reality.

“Just giving your ex a bit of a show,” he replied, diving right back in.

Breathlessly, you grasp his bed head, trying to get a grip on your once again slipping reality. In the heat of the moment, he pushed your thighs down to each side, revealing your flushed pussy. While flicking his tongue on your clit once again, he snapped a selfie. In the frame was his face, smirking with his tongue out flicking your clit. To make the picture even better, your manicured hands were in view, gripping his hair in pleasure.

Perfect for a porn twitter account.

Tetsurou typed out ‘your loss, pal,’ and sent the text, blocked your ex’s number once again, and tossed your phone to the side, getting back to work, soon bringing you to your third and final orgasm.

After cleaning you up and bringing you a glass of water, Tetsurou snuggled up to you under a cozy blanket. As your endorphins went down, the pure dread of what your ex did came back.

“What’s wrong, (Y/N), do you regret what we did?” Tetsurou asked, the expression of pure concern expressed on his face.

“No, I’m just angry about this whole thing! Three years gone!” you shutter, trying to hold back tears. Tetsurou held you tighter.

“He doesn’t deserve you,” he whispered, brushing your hair out of your face.

For the next ten minutes, you were crying into his chest as he rubbed you back and whispered soothing words.

As you calm down and sip your water, Tetsurou breaks the silence saying, “We need to talk about what just happened and what we are.”

You don’t reply, instead, you stare off to the side past Tetsurou’s shoulder.

“I kinda like you, but I’m not sure,” you meekly reply.

“Understandable. I want you to sleep on the idea of us. After you think of it, I want you to call me. Then we can get dinner.”

Space is what she needs, and space is what Tetsurou is willing to give her.

“Sounds great, but can I stay a little longer?” you ask, nuzzling seemingly closer into his warmth.

“Stay as long as you need, sweetie.”

[nowandajenn]

Can i ask for a fic wich chris and reader had a fight and broke up and chris really want to take her back but can't find her because she was mad and change her adress and number but he didn't give up and finally find her but also find out that she has their new born Triplet ?!

So I’m finally just now getting around to writing this, and I apologize for it taking so long to get done! I did decide to make it twins instead of triplets, because triplets is a fucking lot lol. I hope you still enjoy it!

Not proofread. All mistakes are my own. 

It had taken months to find you. After the break up, you had essentially become a ghost. You changed your phone number, you moved, and it seemed like nobody knew where you had gone, and the ones that did know sure as hell weren’t about to tell him how to find you. He had been a complete idiot; going to lunch with Jenny and spending time with her while he had a girl that he was slowly falling in love with waiting for him. They had such a strong history together though, and so many memories shared together, that he couldn’t seem to just walk away from it all. 

Of course, they had been snapped out at a restaurant together, talking and laughing, and it wasn’t long until the pictures hit the internet and your friends and family had been blowing up your phone, asking what the hell was going on. Your relationship with Chris was still fairly new, as you’d only been seeing each other for about eight months or so, and you were trying to enjoy just being with Chris and being happy while also worrying that you were a rebound for him after he and his ex had broken up a second time.

Chris had come home later that evening with flowers for you, only to find you going around the house packing up all of the stuff that you had kept there. He had recently been bringing up you moving in with him since you spent most of your time there anyway, but you felt like it was too soon, and you didn’t know if he was quite as ready for that step as he said he was. Now you were really glad that you had held off. 

The two of you had stood there and fought and argued, you telling him that you deserved more than to just be a rebound to try and help him get over the girl who he once claimed was “the love of his life” and you weren’t going to stick around if he was going to go behind your back and spend time with her and try and rekindle things for a third time. You told him that he was an idiot to think that the third time would be the charm when it hadn’t worked out the first two times they’d been together. He tried to explain that even though they had broken up, he still cared about her and just because they spent time together didn’t mean that they were getting back together. He told you that you absolutely were not a rebound, and he was falling in love with you, but you weren’t hearing it. You had picked up your duffel bag, and with a kiss to his cheek and hugging Dodger around the neck and stifling a small sob into his fur, you had walked out of his life. 

It didn’t take long to see what a huge idiot he had been, and how wrong he had been to see Jenny and not tell you about it or have any sort of conversation about it. He hated that you had been blindsided, and he hated that he made you feel like he was using you as a distraction or something to fill the void left after Jenny left. He tried to text you and call you, but all the texts were left on “delivered” and you would reject his calls, until one day he tried calling you and a stranger answered and told Chris that he had the wrong number. He finally psyched himself up enough to try and swing by your apartment to see if you would at least see him and let him try and apologize, but when he showed up, your apartment was empty and the landlord said that you had moved out and hadn’t left a forwarding address. He was heartbroken. He had tried talking to your friends, but they were unfailingly loyal to you, and wouldn’t tell him anything. 

It had taken just over seven months, and a lot of failed tries, but he finally had an address in his hand. It was in Chicago, where you had grown up, and he had booked the first flight that he could. He wasn’t sure if you would slam the door in his face or punch him or even open the door to him, but he had to try. If he didn’t, he knew he’d regret it. 

Chris takes a deep breath and knocks on the door, nerves suddenly overtaking him and making his stomach turn itself into knots. After a few seconds, he knocks again and hears a male voice yell “Coming!” His heart drops, immediately assuming that you had moved on from him and he lost his shot. 

The door swings open, and he’s surprised to see an older man, probably in his mid 50s, standing in the doorway. 

“Can I help you?” 

“Uh.....sorry, I think I have the wrong address. I was looking for y/n y/l/n. I’m Chris.” 

The man steps forward onto the porch, making Chris fall back a couple steps. 

“Oh, I know exactly who you are. You’re the one my daughter wouldn’t shut up about for a few months, and then never wanted to speak about again.”

Chris swallows hard, his mouth dry as the desert and feeling a little scared, because  your dad looks kind of mean and like he could lay him out if he wanted to. Your dad turns around and walks back into the house, slamming the door behind him. 

He exhales hard and turns around to walk back to his rental car. 

“That went about as well as I thought it would.” he mutters to himself. 

He’s halfway back to the car when he hears your front door open. He looks up and his breath catches when he sees you standing there, your arms crossed over your chest. You’re wearing a pair of jean shorts that show off your legs and a baggy Tshirt, your hair thrown up in a messy bun. You look like you’ve gained a little bit of weight since the last time he saw you, but it looks good on you. 

“Hey.” he breathes out. 

Your jaw clenches. “How did you find me?”

“Well, you didn’t make it easy. I had Josh track you down. It took a lot longer than I wanted it to. I would have been here about seven months ago if I had known where you were, but nobody would tell me.” 

You scoff. “Yet here you are. Because Chris Evans just doesn’t know when to give up.” 

He winces slightly, knowing that you’re not just referring to his search for you, but the whole thing with Jenny that caused your breakup. 

You both stand there in silence for a few minutes, unsure what to do next, when you breathe out a heavy sigh and wave your arm towards the house, gesturing for him to come in. 

“Come on. We have a lot to talk about.” you tell him.

Your dad shoots him a glare as you lead him into the house, and he swallows hard and follows you into the kitchen, taking your offer of a bottle of water and sitting at the table with you. He’s so focused on you that he doesn’t really take in his surroundings. If he did, what comes out of your mouth wouldn’t have almost shocked him into a heart attack. 

“I tried calling you a couple times over the past few months, but every time I did, I got your assistant, or a P.A. or someone else. I left a message with my number with someone, but I’m assuming that you never got it, or you just didn’t care.”

He shakes his head almost violently. “I never got it. I don’t know who you gave it to, but it never got back to me.” 

You lean back in your chair and take a deep breath. 

“About a month after we broke up, I found out I was pregnant.”

Chris is pretty sure his heart stops beating for a few seconds, and then he realizes that he’s holding his breath. He lets it out in a deep exhale and his heart starts hammering in his rib cage. 

“You.....we.......what?” he gasps.  

“The doctor said I was 7 or 8 weeks at the time. I......I was due to get another shot but I had been so busy that I forgot about it, and.....well. At first, I wasn’t sure I was even going to keep the baby, honestly. We had just broken up and I didn’t know if you even wanted kids right now, or with me, and it took me a while to come to terms with everything. I tried calling you once I decided that I was going to keep it. I knew you had a right to know, even though I was pissed at you and hurt.”

I look over and Chris is just staring at me, gaping like a fish. 

“So....you had a.....we have a.....” he takes a deep breath. “We have a baby?”

“Uh, well......I guess you must have some really strong sperm because we kind of.....have two.” 

Chris looks like he’s about to pass out, and I shove his bottle of water towards him and he drains the rest of it in one go. 

“Look, I don’t need anything from you. We’ll be okay. We’ve been staying here with my dad and he’s been helping out, and I’m getting help from the state. We never talked about having kids, and I know that this is just being dropped on you out of nowhere. If you want a paternity test, we can go today if you want. I’m not trying to trap you into anything or trick you. You have your own life and you’re.....well, you’re you. And I’m nobody. Nobody outside of your family and close friends even knew we were together.”

I know I’m rambling, but I’m nervous and I know I should just stop and let things sink in. We sit there in silence for a while, and I can tell that Chris’ brain is working to try and digest all of the new information and the fact that he’s a father twice over now. I need to do something to keep myself busy, because I can’t keep just sitting there in silence, so I go over to the sink and start washing dishes. 

Chris gets snapped out of his reverie when he hears a sharp cry ring out. He looks around wildly before realizing that it’s coming from a baby monitor on the kitchen counter. You drop the dish your holding in the soapy water and wipe your hands on a dish towel before turning and running upstairs. 

Chris isn’t even really sure he realizes that his feet are even moving before he finds himself upstairs in the doorway of the nursery. He stands there, feeling like his head is disconnected from the rest of his body, watching as you lean over the crib and lift out an impossibly tiny baby who can’t be more than a month old. 

“Shhh, it’s okay. You’re okay.” you whisper, holding the baby against your chest. You turn around and see Chris standing there in the doorway, still looking shocked out of his skin. 

“Come here.” you say softly, beckoning him over. 

He walks over to the crib slowly, his eyes on the infant in your arms and then on the one still sleeping. 

“This is Steven Lucas Evans” you say softly, kissing the baby you’re holding on the forehead, “and that is Christopher Michael Evans.” 

Tears immediately fill his eyes and he inhales deeply, his breath stuttering. 

“How old are they?” 

“Three weeks and two days.” you tell him. 

Chris can’t keep his eyes from drifting in between his two sons, and not wanting to be left out, his namesake wakes up and starts making soft little noises. 

“Go ahead. Pick him up.” you tell him softly. 

“Yeah?” he asks. 

You nod. 

Chris leans over the crib and gently lifts Christopher out, holding him gently against his chest. He’s soft and perfect and has that amazing baby smell that drives people nuts, and Chris feels like his heart is about to explode. He walks a few steps over to you and gazes down at his other son, taking note of both babies’ bright blue eyes. 

“How can you love someone so much you’ve just met?” he breathes. 

You give a small, watery laugh. “I ask myself that every day.” 

Watching Chris with his baby sons is everything you didn’t know you needed. You told yourself that even if Chris didn’t want to be involved, you would get through it and you would be fine. But seeing him sitting in the cushy armchair in the nursery with a baby in each arm is more than you could have hoped for. 

“Tell me about when they were born.” Chris pleads. 

“I went into labor on the 23rd of last month, but they weren’t born until about 6pm the next night. I was in labor for about 20 hours. The doctor wanted to go in and get them, but I knew they’d come on their own time. Christopher was born first, and then 15 minutes later, Stevie showed up. He was screaming before he was even fully out.” 

He squeezes his eyes shut. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I wish I could have seen it.” 

“You still can.” 

You pull up a few videos on your phone from different stages of your labor, and one of Christopher being born and then Steven coming along. Tears are running down Chris’ face as he watches, and he’s laughing and crying at the same time, completely overwhelmed with emotion. You flip through a ton of pictures on your phone of you through the pregnancy, and then of labor, and the first pictures of you and the babies. 

“Can you sent these to me? Just....everything you have?” he asks. 

“Yeah. Not a problem.” 

After making bottles and feeding one while Chris feeds the other, a double diaper change, and laying them back down in the crib, you both sit back down. 

“You didn’t get two cribs?” Chris asks. 

“No. I couldn’t really afford two, and when we were in the hospital, they would cry if they weren’t near each other, so the nurses just put them both in the same bassinet and they would calm down. So it all worked out.” I tell him. 

“Come back to Massachusetts with me.” he blurts out. 

He says it so suddenly and with such conviction that I’m speechless for a minute. 

“Chris.....” 

“No, just please.....I love you. I love you and I was an idiot and you had every right to leave me. But being without you has been hell, and I don’t want to be without you. And I can’t go back and not have you or them there with me. I want to be there for everything. I want to see everything. I won’t let you do everything on your own. You don’t have to struggle and get state aid. You can move in with me, or I can get you an apartment close by........just......please come home with me.” 

“Chris, slow down. Listen, you’re their father. You can have as much access to them as you want. I’m not going to take them away from you or keep you from seeing them. That’s the last thing I want. But moving back to Boston......I don’t even have a job right now. I’ve been doing freelance articles for the last few months to get by. And we have all this stuff....and there’s furniture and......” 

“You can write from anywhere. You’re so talented; you’ll find a job in no time. I promise. Until then, I can take care of you guys. That’s my job now. As for all the stuff, I can get a UHaul trailer and we can drive back. Or I’ll get a moving company to move it and we can fly back. It doesn’t matter. We can make this work.” 

I can see the desperation in his eyes and how badly he wants this, and it’s enough to break my heart, and I don’t have it in me to tell him no. 

I sigh heavily. “We have a lot to work out and talk about.....but I don’t want you to miss out on anything with the boys. So.......I guess we’re taking a road trip.....with two infants........halfway across the country.” 

Chris grabs me and hugs me to him tightly. 

“It’ll be our first family vacation. I can’t wait for Mom to meet them. She’s going to lose her mind over them. And you.....she’s missed you so much. You have no idea the verbal ass kicking I got from her after you left.”

You smile. “Glad to know that a grown man is still afraid of his mommy.” 

 The Usual Suspects: @averyrogers83 @wordywarriorwrites @imanuglywombat @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @hlkwrites @reminiscingrogers @mom—nicole @jtargaryen18 @alexakeyloveloki @kelbabyblue @sarahp879 @moonlessnight14 @mojean13 @mrskokitztelford @artisticrogers1972 @southerngracela @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @mybesttobobcratchit @gracethegeek9902 @mdemontespan1667 @marvelfansworld @capslut2014 @dispatchvampire @jamielea81 @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety​ @nerdy-bookworm-1998​ @southerngracela​ @what-is-your-plan-today @letsdisneythings​ @theladybiers @lexeeehhh @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ @autumnrose40 @donutloverxo​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @jessaywahh-blog​@smediumsmeatbae @before-we-get-started​ @lizette50 @littlegasps @rageshots @what-is-your-backupplan-today @clairebubbles @patzammit @sweet--catrastophe @pandaxnienke @redhairedfeistynerd @hails270105 @syms-things-5 @chezdricks @denisemarieangelina @christ0pher-evans @supersquirrel1996

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 11]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, dom!seungcheol, daddy kink, fingering, oral(fem receiving), overstimulation, a little angst/mentions of theft, but some soft lovin for the masses after the last chapter 😭😭💕, also i think this goes without saying but just in case! There won’t be any Cherry Bomb chapters going up while Monster Mash is happening(same for the drabble game)! So this is our last chapter until Nov 6th!🥺 HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!!!🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - ?

“Well… Welcome home.”

Seungcheol shoots you a small smile from behind as he watches you trudge past him towards the bed. He toes his shoes off quietly before setting your things down by the sofa, a soft sigh on his lips.

“Seungcheol, are you really sure about this? Really, I can just get a hotel...”

He sits with you on the bed; arm draped around your shoulder as he tucks you into his side. “We’re really going to need to figure things out pretty quickly but… yes. I’m sure. I mean, even if it’s just temporarily until you can find a safer place to live in. Which, by the way, can we talk about that? If you’re okay with it.”

Biting your lip, you slightly pull away as you peer up at Seungcheol. He takes note of your puffy, red eyes; a frown of his own painted on his face. He could hear your sniffles the entire ride back home but he decided to not say anything, in fear of exacerbating the situation.

“I---It happened a couple months ago. Do you remember that week I was doing a stream per day as a thank you gift for my subscribers? Well, I stepped out one afternoon to run some errands and---and when I came back, the door was just ...ajar. But also, nothing was really missing? Just a few things here and there I knew I wouldn’t miss and my filming camera. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal, but the cops came by to take a statement anyway...”

“Didn't you stream that night though?”

You nod shamefully, “I know I shouldn’t have, but I figured since nothing stolen was really irreplaceable. And I had a spare camera I ended up using so I thought it’d be okay.”

The two of you sigh in unison, settling into the quietness of Seungcheol, and now, your apartment. “Well, I’m glad you’re safe. That’s the most important thing, right?”

“Yeah, and I’ll help with the bills and stuff, ‘Cheol! We’ll go halfsies on it, okay? I’ll pull my weight around here.”

You shoot him a shy smile as you wrap your arms around one of his. “Maybe I should take up Jeongguk with that collab stream idea…”

“Speaking of…”

‘Hey, it’s late but I need a favour when you’re free.’

Jeon 🥴: wussup u kno im always awake

‘Are you up for a trade?’

Jeon 🥴: why do u sound like jigsaw 😭😭

Jeon 🥴: also it depends

‘You help me move all of Cherry’s things to my apartment and she agrees to do a livestream with you.’

Jeon 🥴: the--

Jeon 🥴: just tell me when and where baby i got u

Sunday morning is a whirlwind of phone calls and favour-chains, big boxes and Jeongguk knocking early in the morning when he finally shows up.

“I’m ready to go whenever! Seokjin-hyung’s pretty upset he has to take my early shift but I promised him that I’d take his night shift and swore to never mention the time he broke the hot dog machine to Namjoon.”

Seungcheol turns to you, “So, I called the police department and asked if there were any updates and what we can do. All they could really tell me is that we’re free to go back to the apartment since they replaced the door and that they’ve already taken as many fingerprints as they can, so we can go get your things.” He pauses, “We probably shouldn’t try to take everything so quickly so we should go in and get your essential things and then just go back to grab the others later on, if that’s okay?”

You nod in response, making sure you have your things before the three of you head out. “My landlord texted me and told me to tell her when we get there so she can give me the new key.”

Jeongguk pops the gum in his mouth, heavy boots resounding through the apartment as he makes his way to the door.

“Let’s go get some shit!”

“So can we discuss the deal we got going on here?” Jeongguk bounces with giddiness from Seungcheol’s backseat, unable to sit still at the thought.

“Well, we can do two streams.” You take a second to turn around from the front seat, eyes locking onto Jeongguk who immediately leans in towards your face. “One on yours and one on mine. We’ll split whatever money we make and call it a day?”

“Wait a second, two streams? Why would he be on yours?” Seungcheol narrows his eyes at the road in front of him; knuckles tightening around the steering wheel.

He wasn’t even properly in a live cam and now Jeongguk was going to be?

“Oh, I don’t think Seungcheol-hyung would like it very much. Although I will say, my stroke game is preeeeetty good.”

“No, you idiots, not like that!” Seungcheol snorts from the driver’s seat just as you roll your eyes. “On ‘Guk’s channel, we’ll just game. That’s it. Keep it PG, y’know? But on mine… We’ll still game, just… with some added bonuses. I’ve already thought it out, okay? Just trust me. We can do it on Friday night and Saturday night respectively, so we don’t kill our schedules too much.”

The two males nod in return as you turn back around to face forward. “Which, by the way, thank you Jeongguk for agreeing to come and bring the heavy stuff with us. I really appreciate it!”

Jeongguk smiles, although you can’t see it. “Hey, it’s no problem! And anyway, I already might’ve told my viewers that I’d be having a special guest soon so...” He trails off sheepishly; a pale pink blush on his cheeks.

“Wow, well, I guess if there’s anything we should be thankful for… At least they didn’t take the sybian.”

“Ugh, hyung, it’s probably because they couldn’t tell what it was. And they probably didn’t take a lot of the sex toys because they were probably freaked out.”

Jeongguk’s voice gets quieter and quieter as he exits the apartment that you and Seungcheol were still in.

“What’s the damage, baby?”

You sigh as you sit down on the bed, rummaging through a box of personal items. “It seems like they made more of a mess trying to find anything of worth, to be honest. Most of the things taken were gifts and some of my toys but the ones that were still in their packages. Some of my camera and lighting equipment also got taken…  Same goes for some of the lingerie sets you got me that were still in their packaging… ‘m sorry, ‘Cheol.” You pout up at him as he chuckles.

Seungcheol stands in front of you, tilting your head up to meet his warm eyes. “That’s literally fine. You can always get more of those things anyway.”

He kisses you gently on the forehead; fingertips threaded through your hair. “Hey, if you’re still doing a show on Wednesday, I’ve got an idea.” Seungcheol offers.

“You? Have an idea?” You raise a brow at him, unsure whether or not to believe him. But before either of you can speak, Jeongguk comes back, boots stomping loudly on the hardwood.

“Let’s talk about this another time, when we’re alone.”

The two of you take the next couple of days in stride as you settle into your new place; whether it was temporarily or permanently for you.

Seungcheol continues his normal work routine and to some degree, you find yourself even more bored without him. For a while, you contemplate getting a part time job, at least to make up some extra money for rent and so that you weren’t always at home alone. 

“Hey, I’m back!”

Ah, perfect timing.

You meet Seungcheol at the door, already dressed in one of his shirts. “‘Cheollie~ Welcome home!”

“Have a fun day without me?” He asks, shucking off his jacket and shoes before making his way to the sofa.

“Errr, well, I had some thoughts… and some questions.”

“Okay, shoot.”

You sit across from him, eyes blinking in unsureness as he stares at you. “Well… I was thinking… about maybe getting a part time job? I know we kinda made a lot with the last videos but, it’d help me not be so bored when you’re gone and hey, extra money is always good, right? I can replace all the stuff that got stolen too.” Seungcheol nods in thought, “Maybe you can find a place that’ll give you early shifts so I can just swing by and get you after work. I’d say come work at the roller rink but I don’t think that’d be the smartest idea...”

“I’ll find a place! I was going through the job listings earlier and there were some promising places~” A weight feels lifted from your shoulders as you smile back at Seungcheol; glad that he seemed to be willing to work with you and what you wanted. “Oh and… about the show tonight? What was your idea? We totally forgot about it.”

Seungcheol laughs breathily, running a hand through his hair as he gets up from the sofa to head towards the kitchen.

“Let’s let it be a surprise. C’mon, I wanna try a new recipe from our cookbooks.”

You set up the cameras as per Seungcheol’s request, checking the viewfinder. “Are you sure about this, ‘Cheol? You don’t have to be on cam with me if you don’t want to…”

Seungcheol chuckles as he tugs his shirt off, leaving his sweats on as he gets onto the bed with you. He checks the viewfinder with you, making sure the angle cuts off right at his collarbones. “I’m sure, and as long as the cameras don’t shift, we should be fine. I wanted to try this.”

The unknown factor scares you a little bit, but you trust Seungcheol enough to know that he knows what he’s doing.

“Now, c’mere.” He gestures to you as you tilt your head at him. “But there’s still, like, 12 minutes until we need to start…”

“Yeah, but we’re doing things my way tonight, right, sweetheart?”

Nodding slowly, you crawl on your knees towards Seungcheol, stopping right in front of him as he leans in to give you a chaste kiss. You smile into it, melting under his touch before he pulls away. 

“Turn around for me, baby.” 

The mood shifts quickly when he slips into character and you can feel your heart racing in your chest when his arms wrap around your midsection. He tugs you towards himself until your back meets his warm naked chest.

“Daddy just wants to make you feel good, princess. Don’t you want that?”

The warmth blooms inside your chest at Seungcheol’s soft voice, “Mmhmm…”

You check the viewfinder to see half of your face cut off and Seungcheol’s head out of frame. His arms are wrapped firmly around your midsection before his hands start to roam your lingerie-clad body. “My babygirl’s had such a rough week. I think she deserves to be treated like a princess tonight.” You gulp as Seungcheol whispers into your hair; a content sigh on your lips when he cups your breasts in his palms.

“Let me make you feel good, okay?”

You lean your head up against his shoulder as his fingertips continue to roam; letting him take the reins.

He slides your bra straps down your shoulders gently, kissing the skin before he slides the material from you. His hands find their way back to your breasts, squeezing them in his hands as you mewl. “S--Seungcheol…”

His eyes flit to the clock on the wall. “Looks like it’s time, sweetheart.”

Nodding, you lean away from his touch for a second as you click the red button on your laptop screen that indicates you were live. It gives a countdown of three seconds just as you situate yourself back in Seungcheol’s lap.

gentleman_josh95: whoa what

universe_WZ: yo wait

angelhan: ????

kitty_junjun has donated $69

kitty_junjun: for my favorite couple

“H--Hi guys…” You whimper; lips falling into a silent moan when Seungcheol pinches your nipples between his fingers. “I--I, um, a-ah, daddy wanted to s-start early so…”

sleepy_wonu: ….interesting

sleepy_wonu has donated $50

therealchan99: btw u didnt have a show on sat! everything okay?

“Ah, ye---yeah, just, some stuff came u-up, is all. Sorry!” You shoot the camera a sheepish smile, hoping that nobody else presses for more.

Seungcheol notices the way you tense up in his hold as he kisses the crown of your head.

“Daddy’s taking care of it now, isn’t that right, babygirl?” The comments and donations flood the screen as Seungcheol talks; questions of who he was and comments about the previous videos still lingering in your viewers minds as they continue to praise the two of you.

He takes your distraction as an opportunity to ghost his hands down your torso until they flit along the edge of the waistband of your panties.

“Spread your legs a little more, baby. Let them see how wet your panties are getting.”

sleepy_wonu: seems like daddy dom.cheol finally got his hands on you huh lol

sleepy_wonu: somehow i knew you’d make a good pair.

tangerine_kwan: the--------------

hoshi_tiger_xx: wait how r u sure

chwenon: actually.... 🥴🥴🥴

sleepy_wonu: i mean, do u see him in here? Isnt it weird he hasnt donated yet?

alphagyu97: goddamn he rly went from private show to actual fucking?

alphagyu97: … living his best life, i cant even complain

For a second, you want to respond, but you let the comments go on to see what else they had to say before chiming in.

A blush blooms on your cheeks when Seungcheol ghosts his fingers over your panties; hips rising off of the bed when he presses into the growing wet patch on the material. He chuckles lightly as he, too, reads over the comments.

“Guess we’re caught, huh?” You can’t help but giggle at Seungcheol’s lighthearted approach to them finding out; glad that he seemed to be okay with it.

chwenon: bruh he said stroke game on ✨x-games✨

xcaliburDK: wait so r u guys gonna be on cam together regularly now?

artist8hao: damn, shouldve known he was packin

“Erm… we--well, not necessarily! He’ll, maybe, join me for some here and, mmh,  there but… but that’s it for, ah, n-now..”

Seungcheol drags his fingers up and down your folds through your panties as the material starts to stick to you like a second skin. He noticed you’d hit your show minimum where you usually liked to really start your show, moments prior.

“But for today, I thought I’d take it slow with our babygirl. Let her feel nice and good after her long week.” He checks the viewfinder one more time to make sure everything’s okay before he drags his fingers back to the waistband of your panties as he starts to push them down. “Help me get these off of you, sweetheart.”

You replace his hands with yours as you shimmy the soaked material down your legs until you can kick them off.

Spreading your legs, you make sure you’re directly in the camera’s views as Seungcheol brings his fingertips down to your soaking cunt. “Look at her. I’ve only been touching her for a little while and she’s already so fuckin’ wet for me.”

tangerine_kwan: fuck, give her what she wants

artist8hao: sink those fingers into her tight pussy just like what she likes

Seungcheol drags his fingers through your wet folds teasingly slow as you whine. “M-more… daddy…” He hums in response, middle finger on your clit as he rubs slow circles. Your eyes slide close at his gentle touch, body filled with warmth as you rest against him. You even momentarily forget that the two of you were being watched live; if not for the sounds of donations and comments pouring out of your speakers.

“Babygirl, don’t you have an announcement for your viewers?” He grins against your hair just as he runs his fingers through your wetness again; this time, positioning two fingers at your entrance as he slowly sinks them into you.

He starts a slow pace as he pumps them inside of your warm walls, curling and scissoring them as you clench around the digits.

“A-ah, y--yeah, this Friday I--I’m doing a collab stream on--on, ngh, G-Golden Closet Gaming and, fuh--fuck, on Saturday we’ll be doing a collab stream on, hah, my ch--channel!”

xcaliburDK: wait u kno gcg too?

therealchan99: threesome?

angelhan: wow this channel is growing so fast

“N-no, ah, d-daddy wouldn’t like that very m-much but, mmh, it’s---it’s for a good reason! I promise~!” You let out a choked sob just as Seungcheol starts thrusting his fingers faster; heels digging into the sheets as your legs threaten to clamp shut.

“Ah, ah, ah, keep your legs spread, baby. They have to see your pretty ‘lil cunt stretched wide around my fingers.” He kisses your hair once more before he ever so slowly adds a third finger, pumping them into you slowly. Your nails dig into his thighs at the fullness you feel, hips bucking up as you meet his fingers.

“O-oh my god, ‘m suh--so full!” You whimper, eyes clamped shut.

You already feel yourself close to an orgasm as your thighs start to shake. Seungcheol takes notice of the way your pussy gets tighter around his fingers and the way your breath becomes more stuttered as he curls his fingers inside of you.

“Cum for me, sweetheart. Get my fingers nice and wet.” Seungcheol coos.

“D---daddy!”

The donations and comments flood the screen with words of praise as your orgasm washes over you; back bowing away from Seungcheol as your body locks up in his lap. He places the pad of his thumb on your clit as he starts rubbing circles on the swollen nub, laughing lightly when your thighs clamp shut around his arm.

universe_WZ: so fuckin pretty when she cums

alphagyu97: a sweet babygirl getting what she deserves

Small cries fall off your lips as the oversensitivity starts to bite and you bring your hand to Seungcheol’s forearm as you whine and try to push his hand away. “Mmh… ‘m sensitive now…”

He nods gently as he slowly eases his fingers out of your soaking pussy. “Spread your legs.” 

You shakily follow his orders as you catch your breath; shaky legs parting for the camera to see. Seungcheol brings his wet fingers to your lips as you start to lick and clean them of your wetness.

kitty_junjun: fuck and she’s such a good girl too

universe_WZ: a good babygirl who knows how to clean up her messes huh

Seungcheol clears his throat, adrenaline rushing through his veins, “I want you to cum one more time for me, baby. Think you can?” You blink sleepily at the camera, foggy eyes already noticing you’d somehow made twice as much in this show despite Seungcheol not being any of the donators.

“I---I think so, daddy…”

He nods, gulping as he slowly starts to move from behind you. “Good, because you’re gonna cum on my tongue for everyone now.”

Arousal pools in you at Seungcheol’s words and you shoot him a panicked look when he gets up from the bed. He smiles at you softly, rounding the bed and entering the camera’s view with the back of his head showing.

“Lean up against the pillows, sweetheart. Let them see your cute face when you’re cumming on daddy’s tongue.”

angelhan: blue hair huh

sleepy_wonu: lol tryna keep tabs so u kno who to look for?

alphagyu97: maybe

therealchan99: yes but no

Seungcheol takes a deep breath before he lays on his stomach between your legs, hands on your thighs as he places them over his shoulders. He’s slightly nervous; if only because he’s worried he might accidentally show his face. But he steels himself, smiling up at you once before he leans in, tongue already flicking at your sensitive clit before you can even properly get situated.

“Oh, f-fuck!” Your hands immediately tangle into Seungcheol’s hair as you throw your head back against the pillows.

This time, he doesn’t start slow; his plump lips around your clit as he sucks hard. “D--Daddy, please!” You whine as you dig your heels into his back and Seungcheol is quick to laugh against your skin. He kisses your clit; smirking when you jolt under his touch.

“What’s wrong, baby? Too much? Do you want me to stop?” He lets you catch your breath as you slowly bring your head down to look at him; bleary eyes focused on his wet lips and twinkling eyes.

“N-no… jus’ wanna c-cum again…’m really close already ‘cause ‘m sensitive...”

Seungcheol hums, leaning in closer as he drags his tongue from your clit to your entrance, slightly dipping his tongue in as you moan above him. He repeats this process a few times, teasing you as you whine and squirm.

xcaliburDK: goddamn her expressions are so cute

chwenon: she rly does look good like this

hoshi_tiger_xx: better than her toys

universe_WZ has donated $100

angelhan has donated $75

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

You get lost in the pleasure, already on the brink of your second orgasm when Seungcheol sucks your clit back into his mouth. He draws you in closer by your thighs when he feels you shaking under his touch; doubling his efforts when he can already feel your body start to lock up.

Seungcheol flattens his tongue against you, dragging his tongue up and down in hard strokes.

“Fuck, daddy, I’m---I’m c-cumming!”

Tears wet your lashes as you cum hard on his tongue; fingertips locked tight in his hair as your hips cant up into his mouth. He lets you do as you please, letting you ride his tongue as you take your pleasure from him.

The sounds of donations and comments pour in from behind Seungcheol’s back and he has an itching feeling that the shows in which he actually appeared were going to be more popular from now on.

Not that he’d complain.

Your soft cries from above pull Seungcheol from his thoughts as he slowly eases his tongue off of you; kissing your sensitive clit one last time as you squirm.

“Nooooo~” You cry, pushing his head away as he laughs.

“It was nice meeting you all~” Seungcheol comments as he slides out of view of the camera. “I’ll let you take it from here, sweetheart.”

You smile tiredly at Seungcheol, wiping the sweat from your brow as you close your shaky legs.

“Thank you, daddy~”

“Did you still want to get a part time job? I mean… these numbers…”

Muttering, Seungcheol turns off all the lights before he slides under the bedsheets with you, laptop dead-center as the two of you look at the amount of donations you’d made from the single live show.

“Yeah, I think it’d be fun! And anyway, I might’ve already found a place! And with a friend!” You grin at him just as you slam your laptop shut; confusion painted on his features even in the darkness.

“A friend? And where?”

“’Dynamite’! With Jun!”

Seungcheol snorts, flopping into his pillow. “You serious? Why there?”

You snuggle up to his side, resting your head on his arm as you stare up at his side profile. “They’re hiring, Jun would know my schedule the best, and I’d have someone familiar with me.” Pausing, you smirk up at him even if he can’t see it. “And they probably have cute little pastel diner outfits… With a cute ‘lil skirt… And if I bend over enough for you, maybe you’ll see my cute ‘lil panties that are already wet just thinkin’ about you… ‘n maybe you’ll have to take me back to your car and fuck me in your backseat and cum all over my cute outfit.”

Seungcheol nods in though, images of you bent over the hood of his car with your panties pushed to the side as he fucks you in the parking lot; the risk of everyone seeing you making his cock throb in his sweats.

“Hmm... Touché.”

[pocket-clown]

A Place in your Home; A Place in your Heart | Arthur Fleck x reader 

// original request: Hi! I love your writings 💖 and I shyly wanted to request something. ^^ I wonder if you could write about Reader that has a difficult situation and has to find a new place to live, but doesnt have enough money? Arthur wants to help her and offers her that she can live with him. They've not dated for long but it's serious and the're much in love. She wants to move in with him, but she's afraid it wouldn not work out for many reasons, but eventually she agrees and Arthur is immensely happy. ^^

// A/N: This originally was going to be a longer fic, but I’ve been struggling with writing yet again, so I figured breaking it down into headcanons was easier than taking eons longer to write something more detailed.

thanks for the request, @dont-be-alarmed

It had been nearly three weeks since you were given the news, the words barely making their way over the fuzzy phone lines, voice as uncaring as ever.

Due to a better suited tenant making an offer, your lease was not going to be renewed, and you needed to be out by the end of the month - no if, ands, or buts about it.

Your lifestyle was a hand to mouth one; paycheck to paycheck, your weekly earnings were just enough to cover rent and basic necessities with little left over to save, splurges on luxuries being an occasional, very rare treat.

With your rainy day savings, your actual savings, and the total accumulation of the profit you made from selling various items that you could, you barely had enough to cover even a deposit on any of the nearby apartments - let alone deposit, and the first month’s rent. 

In short, you were screwed.

You were screwed, and it was eating at you. Day and night, the thought loomed over you like the piles of trash that littered the city, threatening to topple over on passersby at any moment. 

Had you been given a much more reasonably timed heads up, it wouldn’t have been even half an issue, yet you were left to do nothing but lay in bed, eyes burning as you stared at the television, seeing but not really watching the program on it. You’d been pulled from your restless sleep by the sound of a glass bottle dropping and shattering somewhere outside, and given that it was nearly four in the morning, you were about to give up on sleep. 

Even in your sleepy haze, did the weight of the situation hit you like a truck, your stomach tightening with anxiety, the churning twist of panic, worry, and hopelessness making your eyes blur with tears as you shifted your gaze to the ceiling.

You couldn’t help but almost pitifully chuckle at that - soon, there wouldn’t even be a ceiling for you to cry over.

December was nearly on its last legs with Christmas just around the corner; the days of autumn bleeding into those of winter as you found yourself growing more and more grateful each day that your boyfriend’s apartment was one of the few that had a functioning heating system. Temperatures dipped below freezing more often than not, and you often had to take a moment to brace yourself before you stepped outside as the air’s freeze physically hurt sometimes - your eyes, nose, and fingers on the days you forgot your gloves stinging from the wind, while any exposed skin reddened from the nip of the wind. 

It was thoughts of days like those that made you brief a sigh of relief and sink back into the couch of Arthur’s living room, one of his softest blankets fluffed and draped around your body as you curled your legs under yourself, warm and safe from the harsh weather outside, and the even harsher population of the city.

It was also thoughts of days like those that reminded you that this wasn’t going to last. 

“Love, what’s on your mind?”

As in tune with your emotions as ever, Arthur noticed that you were particularly quiet that evening, lost in your thoughts as you didn’t even pay any mind to the television - set to the weekly airing of The Murray Franklin Show.

You hadn’t even told Arthur what was going on, the fear of stressing your already overworked boyfriend out keeping you from opening your mouth. 

“Huh? Oh - nothing,” You blinked, turning your attention from the carpet to the television. “I’m just tired.” You spoke, fingertips picking at the frayed hem of the blanket currently wrapped around your body.

Another hint for Arthur: no Art, no Artie tacked on the end to your reply. From the corner of your eye could you see him through the passthrough, eyeing you from his spot at the kitchen counter where he was taking the utmost care to not spill the mug of hot chocolate he was making you as he stirred it.

Even though your relationship was hardly out of its infancy, you both knew each other well enough to tell when something was wrong. Arthur was already so very in tune with your emotions, so you knew he wasn’t just going to let your morose mood go without a question or two, and you knew yourself enough to know that something about Arthur’s concern hit a soft spot in your heart, rendering you unable to keep much from him once he managed to get into your head. 

He seemed almost sad as he now stood in the entrance to the living room, his lips settled into a thin line as he kept his eyes trained on you. You felt yourself shrink under his gaze, the guilt from keeping something so major from him eating at you, but the uncertainty and apprehension of not only how you’d bring it up with Arthur, but how he’d react.

One of your worst fears was Arthur jumping on the opportunity to have you live with him. Not because you didn’t want to, not because you didn’t trust him or anything of the sort - but Arthur had a habit of putting the needs of others, especially your own, miles above his own. Money was much tighter for him than it was for you, and hell you had no idea if even combining incomes would be much help. No doubt that it would be some, but whether it would be enough, especially given the uncertain job climate of Gotham, left you scratching your head. 

Arthur took a seat next to you, the drink he brought you placed on the coffee table, and with a deep breath, you let it spill out faster than you really meant for it to.

Your lease was ending in just over a week. Your landlord had no intent of renewing it because someone else was moving in, and you had no money to move elsewhere yet, even after your best efforts at earning enough. You had no where to go, nothing to do, no way to remedy the situation - and time was running out.

Hell, you had no idea if at this point you even could do anything beyond accepting the inevitable.

“Why... don’t you stay here?” 

Arthur’s meek, yet hopeful voice raising such a suggestion made your ears perk up. You hadn’t even thought about that - but immediately did you know that it wouldn’t work. At least not yet.

“Art - I can’t do that, you know I can’t.” You couldn’t look at him as you spoke, the thought of being able to live in with him making your heart skip a beat, but the knowledge that it almost most definitely was not realistic at the moment making it hard to swallow.

“Why can’t you?”

“It won’t work - it’s not going to work.”

Though instantly you regret speaking those words, wincing once you realized what they implied. You knew Arthur and his anxieties well enough to know that it wasn’t improbable that he took “it won’t work” as meaning, you didn’t have enough faith in your relationship for it to work.

“ - Not like that,” You were quick to correct yourself, hoping to save the situation before it became more angst ridden. “I mean, living together. At least right now. Money is already tight for you, isn’t it? And I mean, it’s not like my own job is the most stable right now.”

“Y/N, do you really think that matters?” Arthur looked almost angry as he spoke, as if the fact that you were concerned about finances was ridiculous in such a situation. You knew Arthur enough to know he wasn’t actually mad, at least not at you, but still on edge at the threat of your loss of shelter. “You’ll be homeless, and - and who knows what could happen to you out there -” The hitch in Arthur’s breath as he spoke, coupled with the way his left hand gripped at the fabric of his trousers clued you in that this was something extremely distressing for him. 

You could feel tears welling up in your eyes, yet you refused to let them fall as you blinked them away. “Arthur -”

“Please,” Arthur’s hand shot out for your own, his warm from holding the hot drink previously as he held your hand tight in his own. “Y/N, please.. Don’t worry about money, we’ll figure it out - but it’s dangerous, it’s awful out there and I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you -” 

Had you not stopped him midsentence with a gentle “Hey -”, you’d no doubt Arthur would’ve either succumbed to a fit of laughter, tears, or both.

“ - Arthur, hey,” Your free hand that wasn’t kept in his own reached for his shoulder, tugging gently on the fabric of that brown cardigan you so loved, pulling him closer to you. His forehead came to rest on your shoulder, his breath just barely noticeable against the fabric of your chest. “I dont... I don’t know what I’d do, either - Arthur I just don’t want to add more to your plate, you’re already so overworked, I shouldn’t have even mentioned it.”

You could feel Arthur shake his head at your words, but he didn’t speak - not that you blamed him.

With your lips now pressed to the top of his head, you took a deep breath, breathing in his scent. That comforting scent you’ve come to love and seek out within the few months you’ve been with him - the scent you, really, wouldn’t mind being surrounded by all of the time. 

“We’ll try,” You said finally, not missing how Arthur seemed to tense up at your words. “Arthur I... would love to stay here - I would, love to live with you. It’s going to take some time to adjust - never mind actually making the move - but... I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

You could’ve laughed at how Arthur shot up at this, his eyes wide as he seemed full of disbelief for a moment before your own reassuring smile sparked a growing grin on his face. “Do you really mean it, Y/N?”

“Waking up with, going to bed next to, coming home to you doesn’t sound all too bad, the more I think about it,” You whispered, your body finding its way to Arthur’s as his arms pulled you close. 

Maybe this home wouldn’t be so bad. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------taglist;

@ajokeformur-ray​​​ @theangelmaker  @fleckcmscott   @soulsdontbreaktheybeeend​  @tsukiakarinobara​​ @darknessisafriend​​ @honking4joker  @sgtsavoytruffle​​ @smol-nari

[timelordthirteen]

Desperate Souls 1/?

Mr. Gold/BelleFrench, Explicit

Summary: A broke and heartbroken Belle French comes to an agreement with Mr. Gold to do a little modeling, just for him, in exchange for the money she desperately needs, but it isn't long before they both realize they've made a deal they didn't understand. Based on this prompt.

Chapter Summary: Belle makes a depressing discovery and considers her options.

Notes: OKAY. Here we go. Chapter 2 is almost done, but everything was getting stupid long and in spite of my plan I had to break it up. The entire story is all fully outlined now, but I make zero promises about my ability to keep it updated because I'm the worst. In total it will be anywhere from 10 to 15 chapters.

[AO3]

Belle stared at the paper in her hands.

$37.23

That was all that was left in the account. She staggered and then dropped down onto the old sofa. Her heart was thumping in her chest, her face felt hot, and her vision blurred. The page fluttered away, sliding over the coffee table to fall off the edge and onto the floor on the other side. The corner of the paper fluttered in the air from a heating vent in the floor, and she watched it for a long moment before her head dropped to her hands, palms pressed to her face as tears stung her eyes.

Her heart, her hopes, her money; Garrett Gaston had taken everything.

Well, almost everything. Apparently, she still had thirty-seven fucking dollars and change left. She shook her head and laid back against the cushions, breathing slowly. Calming down was step one, step two was figuring out a logical plan to fix things. Most of the regular monthly bills: car payment, cell phone, and utilities, had already been deducted before Garrett had a chance to clean out their shared account. That left whatever was on the credit card and the rent to pay. She let out a short, humorless laugh, and sat up. There wasn’t much on her Visa, some books she ordered from Amazon last month and her Netflix subscription. Even if there was more she could get away with making minimum payments if she had to and eat the interest until she got back on her feet. The rent was a whole other story.

Mr. Gold didn’t do minimum payments, but he did do late fees and interest.

There was also her promise to her father. Moe French was always just barely making ends meet, and she had agreed to loan him some money to buy extra stock for the flower shop ahead of Valentine’s Day, something she had done last year as well. That holiday always put the shop in the black for a while, and she hadn’t been concerned that she wouldn’t get her money back. Now she was wondering if she would also need a loan of some kind just to keep a roof over her head.

Maybe she’d even have to move back in with her father.

Belle blinked, letting the tears roll down her cheeks, leaving trails through her makeup. Living with Moe was not an option, not if she wanted to maintain any semblance of a relationship with him, which left her with few choices. She pushed to her feet, wiping at her face with her hand as she crossed the small living room to pick up the bank statement. Her eyes immediately went to the top of the page.

Beginning balance…$4,737.23

The statement crumpled in her hand, her fingers squeezing it into a tight ball, digging the sharp edges of the folded paper into her palm before she spun on her heel and threw it across the space. It smacked against the door to the bathroom. She followed it up by yanking the ring off her left hand and flinging it in the same direction. It made a satisfying ping as it careened off the doorknob and rattled to the floor.

Rage fueled her as she stomped through the apartment, snatching up the handful of things her now very ex-fiance had left behind before he fucked off to Mexico with a woman who wasn’t her, taking all of her money with him. She felt like an idiot for agreeing to sign Garrett onto her account before they were married, but in the moment it had made sense to pool their funds. They were starting their new life together, supposedly, and he made a point of saying he wanted to help pay for the wedding.

Belle and her father didn’t have much, and from the outside it seemed like Garrett was far better off financially. He had a decent job selling insurance, a nice car, nice clothes, and his parents were very well off real estate agents in Boston. Or at least that was what he had told her. She had never met them, and that, combined with the fact that he had yet to make any deposits into their now shared account, told her all she needed to know. Garrett Gaston was a lying asshole, and for all she knew his parents could be dead or have disowned him. It was clear he had used her, though she wasn’t sure the year long charade was worth the four thousand-seven hundred dollars he’d stolen from her.

She let out a ragged breath and ran her hands through her hair. A hooded sweatshirt with a rip in the front pocket, a paint splattered t-shirt, a pair of work boots that had seen better days, a phone charger, and a mismatched pair of socks lay in a pile on the sofa. Everything else he’d taken with him, including half the hangers in the closet. He must have crammed it all into the same large suitcase and duffle bag he’d used to move in just three months ago. She wondered if he’d had it all planned before then, or if it was a spur of the moment decision. When had he met this other woman? Had he cared about her at all, ever?

Belle sniffed loudly and rubbed her nose. She refused to shed any more tears over Garrett, and looked around the room for anything she might have missed. A thought hit her then, and she hurried into the kitchen, took one of the chairs from the small table by the window, and used it to reach up on top of the fridge. Her heart sank when she felt nothing but dust. He’d even taken her emergency fund, mostly made up of spare change and small bills shoved into an old jar. She wasn’t sure how much was in it, but it had to be a couple hundred dollars. That brought the total to almost five thousand.

Deflated and exhausted, she climbed down off the chair, and placed it back at the table. Then she walked back into the living room and briefly contemplated setting Garrett’s things on fire. There was a burn barrel in her father’s backyard that he used for yard waste. Maybe she could invite Ruby and Ashely over for a bonfire, and roast marshmallows that they imagined were ex-boyfriends.

That thought made her smile, but a few seconds later, she sighed and reluctantly went to pick up the bank statement and engagement ring. Being angry might make her feel better temporarily, but it wouldn’t solve any of her current problems. Unfortunately, neither would anything Garrett left behind, which were clearly items he no longer cared about and which had no value. At least she’d been wearing the ring when he packed up and left, or he likely would have taken that as well.

She went into the bedroom and sank down on the end of the bed. The mattress dipped and the frame creaked, yet another reminder of her less than stellar financial state. A couple of weeks ago, they’d talked about getting new furniture after they were married, in particular, a bed, and Belle rolled her eyes at the memory. She put the engagement ring back in its box on her dresser, and decided to take a shower. As the hot water ran down over her neck and shoulders, she made a mental list of what she needed to do, and felt calmer after she was done.

After drying off and changing into some comfortable clothes, she shoved Garrett’s belongings into a trash bag and set it by the door to take down to the dumpster in the morning. Then she sat down with the little notebook she kept in her purse and a pen, and started writing out her expenses for the next month. By the time she was done, and after considering the amount of her usual paycheck, the total she would at the end of next month was...fifty four dollars.

She fell back against the sofa and blew out a breath. There was no way to make the math come out any better. Rent included the usual utilities, but there was food, her cellphone, car insurance, and those incidental costs of existing like laundry detergent and toilet paper and probably a hundred things she’d end up running out of next week. It felt like life was out to spite her. The cushion she had worked so hard to build up was gone, as was the paycheck that had just deposited. Garrett probably waited until Thursday just for that reason, to squeeze just a little bit more out of her and make her ruin complete.

She got up and went back into the bedroom. The ring box seemed to be mocking her as she reached for it, and she flipped it open and scowled down at the princess cut diamond. It was about one carat in size, flanked by two smaller diamonds, which gave the ring a total weight of about one and half carats. It was huge as far as engagement rings went, and she supposed that was more of Garrett showing off money he didn’t actually have. The truth was she didn’t care for it at all, the squared off princess cut being her least favorite, and the set of three gems gave it a bulk and gaudiness that wasn’t her style. But it was what he had picked out and proposed with, and because of that she made herself like it. The band was rose gold, her favorite, which was at least one thing he managed to remember about her.

Belle snapped the box shut and shook her head. The ring had to be worth something, and though there was only one place in town she could take it she was confident that Mr. Gold would give her a fair price. He had always been fair, even if he often came off as cold and eccentric. She’d never had a problem with Gold, though she didn’t really know him that well either. A few times she had gone out of her way to try to be nice and talk to him, but he seemed annoyed and eventually she gave up. She was friendly and polite when she saw him, not just because he was her landlord, or because we wielded some strange power over most of the citizens of Storybrooke, but because she sensed he was someone who didn’t have a lot of kindness in his life.

She set the ring down and yanked open the bottom dresser drawer. Inside was a small collection of what could only be described as ugly Christmas sweaters, leftover from the annual holiday parties that Granny would throw at the diner. Those were taken out and set aside. Beneath them was something that made Belle frown all over again, a pile of silk and lace, with a few price tags caught up on each other. It was the pile of lingerie that she’d been reserving for her wedding and honeymoon.

The sting of tears made her blink and she felt her earlier anger bubbling up again. She knelt down in front of the drawer and pulled all of it out, throwing it behind her on the bed. Then she set about separating it, untangling tags and eye hooks, and pairing up the things that went together. She hadn’t worn any of it yet, but the items with tags had been purchased too long ago to return, never mind that she had probably thrown out the receipts weeks ago. It wasn’t designer stuff or anything, but it had to be worth something, so she folded it all into a neat stack and placed it on top of the dresser. Then she set the ring box on top and resolved to take all of it to Gold’s shop tomorrow.

None of it would be missed.

[josiecarioca]

Waiting (one-shot)

Requested by @artisticreptilequeen and @latitsoso

Summary: Soren Snape has chosen a lonely path for himself that not even his closest friend can help him walk. 

(Soren Snape x Audrey Blake, characters mentioned: Severus Snape,Evelyn Black and Eloise Snape)

Also available on Ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010311

Tagging:  @snapescapades  @mafagafobebum  @marvelschriss @codename-thedoctor @zealouspickleeggdragon @green-oasis @drawnfromthedead @snapescapadesafterdark @serosvit @snapecentric @hayalee8 @oliverlandomens @sleepysnapesnake @lily-themadqueen-andpinky @paracosim @the-witches-son @aikersen @violet-knox @viper-official @be-zoar @thepomegranatejuice @alwyssnpe @siriuslysircadogan @hbprincealice

     …

“Soren, are you alive?”

Soren opened his eyes and looked around, searching for that familiar voice. He didn't know the place around him. It looked nice enough, though. A small livingroom, with teal colored walls covered in classic movie posters and a moon themed tapestry hanging next to a tall bookcase, loads of colorful cushions and, in front of him, a square coffe table with food and cooking themed hardcovers and a notebook filled with a round and small handwritting he knew all too well. He found himself laying on a soft white couch, “Golden Girls” was playning on the TV in front of him.

He sat up, feeling as if the room was moving around him like a ship in open sea. His clothes were sticking to him, tight and uncomfortable and his mouth was so dry he felt a bitter taste in his tongue. He didn´t remember drinking any water since right after curtain call.

Soren heard the sound of something frying, before the smell hit him. His stomach growled. He couldn't remember when he had last eaten anything that day.

“You´re getting glitter all over my couch.” that voice...Soren shook his head, suddenly angry at himself. How had he ended up here of all places? Idiot!

“Audrey, I...” he called out but his head felt like it just about split in two when he raised his voice. “I mean...how did I...”

“Here...” the voice approached. He looked up and there she was. Audrey, in a dusty pink turtleneck wool dress that hugged her plump figure, black leggings and boots, her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail, with thick bangs framing her roud, dollish face. She looked like she was either going to a date or  coming back home from one when he, at least he assumed, crashed-landed at her door.

She held a plate in front of his face and it smelled something like heaven is supposed to smell.

“This is what you eat when you're flat on your arse drunk, if I recall correctly. Rashers, eggs benedict and your mother's cheddar, chive and potato pancakes. Right?”

“You...know how to make mam´s pancakes? ” he smiled, hoping foolishly that small talk would delay the earfull he was about to get. “She never gave anybody this recipe. Not even my cousins.”

“I lived with your parents for a whole year remember? I've seen auntie Lyn make this more times than I can count.”

Even though he felt like somebody had taken an axe to his skull and split it clean in two, Soren had to smile.

“Thank you. You didn't have to.”

“I sort of did have to, though” she let out, sounding tired “I found you laying on my doorstep, looking healf dead. Trust me, I was tempted to just walk around you and leave you there, but then what would I say next time I visit your parents? Besides, my landlord and neighbours wouldn't be too happy. Here, you´re going to need this. You must be dehydrated.”

She put a gallon of water on the table in fronto of him. Soren shugged nearly half of it before he could even begin to think about eating.

“Now, pray tell...what has gotten into you?” she crossed her arms and stood before him, looking far taller than her 5 feet, maybe 5'3 including the boots. Soren looked at her, pleased to notice she had put on weight. She looked like her normal self again, he thought. Last time he'd seen her she looked gaunt, almost.

“What do you mean?”

“What do I mean? Is it a normal occurence for you to prance about town drunk off you mind and pass out in front of people´s doors dressed like Beetlejuice and Dr. Frank'n'Furter's lovechild?”

“Oh, this!” Soren looked down at himself, finally remembering...

The effin' costume. Yeah, she was right. Her neighbours wouldn't be none too pleased to see a 6´2  man in full make-up wearing a leather corset-garter combo with stockings and high heels under a stripped trenchcoat passed out drunk in the hallway.

“I was...working.”

“Working? Is this an honest-to-God opera costume, or the Ministry for Magic had you go undercover in a fetish brothel?”

“Costume. The Ministry doesn´t usually have me dress up nice and sexy  when they want to get me fucked. Hardly pay me as well as they should for it either.”

“What opera are you in this time around?”

“Orphée aux enfers...Our director decided to give the  Kosky version a run for its money, so of course genderfuck drag was the way to go. Because why the fuck not? ”

“We're just going to pretend like you didn't love the idea...” she smirked. That was good...he hoped.

“Well, yeah, we decided to have a few drinks after the performance, and Henri thought it would be hilarious to just go out partying in full costume.”

“Who?”

“Henri Fournier...he played Orpheus”

“Of course...” Audrey, sighed, no longer amused.

“He's a riot, you should meet him.” Stop digging, Soren. She´s already mad at you, no need to act like a bufoon.

“And you should shower and change.”

“I´m afraid I don't have anything to change into...Unless, what's his name, your...”

“Ethan, his name is Ethan.”

“Yeah, him, unless he doesn´t mind me borrowing his things...”

“I´ll see if he left something here...”

“Left...I thought you two were...”

“He moved out.”

“When was that? Last we talked you we...”

“Come on, finish eating go have a shower, I'll find something for you to wear.”

“Hey, Shortcake, I...” He let out without even thinking. It had been so long since he last called her that, years maybe, but somehow it just poured from his lips.

“Don't...call me that.”

“I'm sorry...I really am. About this whole thing as well, I really don't know how I ended up at your door, I would never...”

“You don't have to apologize. Just eat, take your shower and...” she sighed “...we´ll see.”

…

Soren was tripping over himself so badly Audrey had half a mind to offer help. But eventually he got himself to the bathroom. She glued her ear to the door, half expecting to hear him collapse inside. The sound of the water running reassured her enough to step away and try to find something for him to wear, hoping Ethan had forgotten at least a pair of shorts or something.

Typical Soren to put her in this situation without even thinking. He never did think, did he?  Just did whatever he wanted to do and everything else be damned. Nevermind that his parents were constantly worried sick about him, that his sister had to keep calling him to remind him he had a family and he should go see them sometime. Audrey was almost sure neither his father nor his mother knew what he was up to.

That he was spying for the. ministry.

His father would never allow it.

Audrey had been only a spectator, entirely foreign to their world of magic and wars no one of her kind was supposed to know, but she knew well enough, apparently even better than Soren, that it was a disastrous idea for the son of Severus Snape to be a spy. To collect inteligence about the very same criminals who still had a reward out for his father's head. Soren was born with a target on his back. Even as a child, Death Eaters had tried to get to him, the same with his sister, Eloise. And why wouldn't they? What better revenge on the man who brought down their leader than to harm his children? Audrey knew from hearing whispers and bits and pieces of conversations when she had lived with his parents in Glencoe, right after deciding to go no contact with her mother. She knew from what Eloise told her, in a vain, desperate attempt to get her to help knock some sense into her brother.

But Audrey also knew there was nobody on earth who could keep Soren from doing what he wanted. Sometimes she was tempted to tell Severus and Evelyn what he was doing behind their back. If they knew...They thought Soren was travelling around the world singing. A successful baritone, touring Salzburg, Paris, New York, Lord knew where else. Surely that shouldn´t prevent him from coming home now and then, however...But he would go months without showing up, so his parents, maybe, just thought that if he didn´t show up for Christmas or Easter it was because he was somewhere in a nightclub or a bar, partying. And sometimes that was true, but not always. At times, she wondered how and when they would find out, and hoped it wasn´t through some tragedy.

But...sometimes she also wondered if they didn't already know. If they were just waiting for him to finally be honest with them. Maybe neither Severus nor Evelyn could bring themselves to believe Soren would do that to them, so they acted like they didn't suspect, when in reality, they knew. Maybe they were just hoping he'd show himself worthy of their trust. Just waiting for him to come around.

So Audrey said nothing. It wasn't her place to, after all. If Eloise hadn´t, then she certainly had no right.

She finally found something. And old t-shirt and some pajama pants. Good thing Ethan was tall, she thought. This would do for Soren to at least make it back home, or wherever he was staying in London. Come to think of it...She shook her head and left the clothes on the bed where he could find once he was done showering.

“Soren?”  She called once the water stopped running and she could hear him in her bedroom.

“Yeah?” he sounded a bit more sober.

“I'll call your sister, do you have her girlfriend's number? Maybe they can pick you up.”

Soren didn't answer answer immediately. Instead he took his time to get dressed and came back to the livingroom, sat on the couch and took another swig of water from the bottle.

“So, should I call her?”

“I would literally rather you hand me over to a dementor.”

“Maybe if I knew how. Eloise is my next best choice.”

“Eloise will never let me hear the end of it.”

“She wouldn'r be wrong, now would she?”

He didn't answer. He just made that face. That face he put on when he knew he was wrong, when he knew he had no good excuse. The corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards in an odd, clumsy smile, and his nostril flared slightly as he breathed out, then he looked away. Thinking of the next joke, of the charming comment that would deflect questioning, the next change of subject.  Had been that way since he was a boy. Soren always knew when to leave an argument well enough alone. This way he wouldn't have to admit he was wrong.

“As soon as my head doesn´t feel like the the 1812 overture is playing on surround sound inside my skull, I can see myself out.” she shrugged with that devil may care grin that could get him whatever he wanted.

Audrey sighed. She didn´t have the energy to argue, And true to be told, if she hadn't found him passed out drunk at her door after nearly a year of no contact whatsoever, she would be happy he was there. Wasn´t this what they used to do, back when things were different? Staying up at night, huddled up on the couch, watching old TV programmes reruns till the wee hours of the night? She missed that. She missed having Soren around, she missed his stupid jokes, his impromptu performances. She missed him singing “Largo al factotum” early in the morning as he shaved, his voice filling her bathroom till the upstairs neighbours complained.

But she didn´t miss what came with it. She didn´t miss the disappearances, the weeks and months without a single phone call, the excuses, the worry, the panic...

“You already ruined my couch with all that sodding makeup” she sighed, sitting next to him “Might as well spend the night. But you´ll have to be out before noon. I´m working the lunch shift this week.”

“How's that going? Mam told me you made it to sous-chef.”

“Yeah, which sounds impressive until you realize it just means I'm the first in line to be verbally abused when Bastianinni wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“I worked with a Bastianinni once...It was for the best sharp knives are not part of our line of work, or the whole cast would have used him for target practice, down to the children's choir. When a tenor decides to be a diva, oof...”

“So, you´ve been talking to your mother?”

“Yeah, I called her and dad last week from Salzburg...to apologize for not showing up for Christmas again. She told me you were there.”

“I was. I assume that's how you got my address...”

“I...I mean...is not like she” Soren stammered like a little boy caught with his hand in the biscuit tin.

“Did you really think your mother would give you my address if I didn't tell her it was ok?” Audrey smiled “I´m just surprised you asked.”

“Why wouldn't I ask?”

“You tell me...For the past four years I´ve seen more of your parents and your sister than I´ve seen you. And you don't call anybody, just go off for months on end...”

“You know why that is...”

“I do. That´s why I don't wait for you anymore. It's pointless. But then when I give up waiting, you decide to show up.”

“Is not like I planned to just...”

“You never do.”

“Audrey, I...”

“I´ll get you a pillow and some covers, it's getting late.” She couldn't let him speak. If he started he'd take her in again. And before she knew it, she would be waiting again...for a phone call, a message, waiting for that moment she'd finally be fully a part of his world. A moment that would never come, no matter how long she waited. Not for her and not for anybody else. Soren had chosen a rocky path that only fit the steps of one person: himself. She couldn´t walk with him, and it would be fooolish to wait for him to come back any time soon.

“You said you were working lunch shift tomorrow.” the sweetness on his voice reached her as she got up from the couch, disarming. “Can´t you stay a little while longer?”

[scapegrace74-blog]

No Light, No Light (Claire’s Anthem)

A/N  To recap where we’re at in the Metric Universe, Jamie and Claire are living separately while their building gets repaired after a fire.  Jamie has confessed to loving Claire, and she hesitantly agreed to give a romantic relationship between them a chance.  The dates have gone well.  Really well.  Maybe a bit too well...  Rated M, because they deserve it after all I’ve put them through.

All other parts of the Metric Universe are available on my AO3 page.

The amazing song by Florence + The Machine (another guest artist!) that inspired the title and features in a few lines can be heard here: https://youtu.be/HGH-4jQZRcc

August 24, 2018, Scottish Highlands, Scotland

Outside the train, the landscape slid by in an emerald smear.  It had been raining earlier, but as the sun dipped westward it broke from beneath the clouds, setting the greens afire.  The view was violently beautiful, but Claire stared instead at her face, pensive and wan, reflected in the smudgy window.  There was an almost laughable lack of connection between herself and the taciturn man to her left.

It hadn’t started out that way.  After a near-idyllic summer dedicated to their mutual enjoyment of each other’s company, this trip to Scotland was meant a culmination of sorts.  A validation that they were moving towards something momentous.  A delineation between their past as friends and their future as... something more.   

Jamie had first mentioned the idea in passing while they waited in line for a gelato in the shadow of the Gherkin on a hot July day.

“T’would be braw tae introduce ye to Lallybroch before ye return tae yer studies, Sassenach,” had been his exact words.  Claire had learned to appreciate Jamie’s deft navigation of the shoals of her caution.  An invitation to meet his family would have garnered an immediate negative response, but an invitation to his family home received an ambiguous hum.

Several weeks later, they were searching Netflix for a movie they could agree on while cat-sitting for Joe and Gayle.  Said cat was lounging on the sofa cushions between them when Jamie casually raised the ante.

“Tomorrow I’ll be buyin’ my ticket home for the August bank holiday.  The trains north will be packed, so I was thinkin’ I’d grab a second seat.  Just in case, ye ken.  T'is refundable, sae there’s no harm.”

By the end of the evening, the cat had fled the room, Claire’s shirt was down to its last button, Jamie’s summer tan couldn’t mask the flush of blood that raced beneath his skin, and the idea of spending a weekend away together sat like an unopened present on the closet shelf of their minds.

Last Monday, between her day shift and his graveyard, they had met for coffee to discuss the details of moving back into their flat.

“Jamie, my name is on this lease.”  Claire set down her cup rather abruptly on the table, spilling a few hot drops over her fingers.

“Aye, tis.  I asked the landlord tae include us both.  Considering all the delays an’ the nuisance, tis the least they could do.”  Pausing to hand her a napkin, he balanced his fingertips over her scalded knuckles.  It’s yer flat too, Sassenach.  No matter what.”

The gravity of the moment hung heavy in the air.  Neither spoke for a while, letting the hum of ambient conversation dull the edges of their nerves.  Claire slid an unsigned copy of the lease into her satchel.

“I, uh, I ken this mayna be the best time tae be bringing this up, but I’ll be away home come Thursday, back on Monday.  There’s still a ticket in yer name, should ye wish tae come wi’ me.”

She looked at him then, so earnest and open and hopeful, the sunlight from the street burnishing his hair coppery-gold.  He’d crept in like a thief, disturbing the tidy boxes of her life and leaving traces of his passage on her heart.  A thief who gave instead of took, and whose only crime was to love without recompense.

“What would it mean, if I went to Scotland with you?” she asked quietly.

“It would mean everything to me,” he admitted.

That hadn’t been what she was asking, but it was her answer all the same.

The day before they were due to depart, Claire had been eating a late afternoon snack in the hospital cafeteria when a familiar tall form in running gear caught her eye.  She couldn’t suppress the frisson of delight she felt as he made his way towards her table, a whiplash of appreciative female gazes following in his wake.

His infectious smile of greeting faltered and then disappeared as he caught sight of what she was reading.

Oh.

The monthly rental property magazine had been left behind on her table, but she’d be lying to say she was browsing it purely out of idle curiosity.  The weight of seeing her name next to Jamie’s on their new lease had been pressing down on her since Monday.  

On the one hand, it was a tremendous relief - no longer could the outcome of their courtship render her homeless - not that she could imagine Jamie ever being as cruel as Frank.  But it also implied a commitment, a state of permanence between them, that quite frankly scared the shit out of her.  And so she had been perusing her options, not with any serious intent, but because it gave her comfort to know they existed.   Jamie had dropped by unannounced at the worst possible time.

A crowded cafeteria wasn’t the place to start making excuses, so after a stilted exchange about meeting the next day at Euston Station, Jamie departed, a small storm cloud of ire floating above his head.  

By the time they met the following morning, that cloud had darkened to a gale, blowing all hope of casual conversation before it.  Jamie’s disposition was generally sanguine, but when he put his mind to it he could glower like the Viking gods he resembled.  It made for a silent journey.

“Ye can just go ahead and say it, Claire.”  When it came, his voice was diminished by resignation.

“I’m curious what it is you want me to say,” she replied.

“That ye willna be moving back inta the flat next month.  If that means we willna be seeing each other at all, well, I’d rather ye tell me before I go introducing ye tae my family as my girlfriend like a fool.”

When she turned to face this accusation, the first thing she noticed was the absence of light behind his typically radiant blue eyes.  It neutralized the acid on her tongue.

“Those are awfully dire conclusions to be drawing from some rental adverts, my lad,” she quipped.  Then, almost begging.  “You promised to be patient with me.”

“Aye, I did.  But ye also promised tae try, Claire.  I canna help but feel that ye’re just marking time, waiting for me to fuck up badly enough that ye can say, well, that’s that then, another disappointment, and retreat tae yer solitude.”

It wasn’t far from the truth, although she’d never have stated it so baldly.  As with every emotional conversation she had with Jamie, his words left her feeling naked and exposed.  He saw her so well.  She didn’t doubt the sincerity of his love for her, because what else kept a man coming back once all the ugliness was on display?

“I hear what you’re saying, Jamie.  I think you know this isn’t easy for me.  Just being here with you on this train, Christ.  I almost called you twice this morning to say I wouldn’t be coming.”

“But ye didna.  Why?”

“Because the only thing that scares me more than being with you,” her voice rose in pitch, “is being without you.  I’m here, but it’s taking bloody everything I have.  So please do not ask me for more,” she pleaded.

A strong arm wrapped around her shoulder and she came to nestle against him willingly.

“I would never ask ye for that, a ghraidh.  I only want ye tae learn tae let go of yer fear, as it serves for nought.  I learned that the hard way with my accident.  T’wasn’t anything I earned nor deserved, but it happened nonetheless.  We canna chose if we win or lose.  We can only chose how we fight.”

She listened to his heart, steadily thumping beneath the muscles of his chest.  To think, he could have been taken away before she came to know the dimensions of its strength.  It sent a chill down her spine.

“I ne’er told ye, that first night we met a’ the pub, how ye reminded me of a fierce lioness.  All golden eyed and imperious.  An’ when I saw those same eyes, peering at me o’er a surgical mask the night of the blast, I understood I would live, because ye did.  Ye’re a fighter, Sassenach.  I kent it from the start.”

“God, Jamie, I was an utter shambles at the time,” she confessed.  His faith in her was overwhelming.

“Aye.  But ye were goin’ down swinging.”

***

Ian Murray, Jamie’s best friend and brother-in-law, met them at the train station in Inverness.  As they navigated the country roads, his conversation with Jamie had the ease and teasing short-hand of timeworn friendship. Claire was content to sit quietly and listen, the inconclusive discussion on the train looming large in her peripheral vision.

It was well past dark as they arrived at Lallybroch, giving the structure an air of timelessness as yellow light bathed the courtyard from windows high above.  The battered wooden entrance swung open to the welcoming chaos of barking dogs, children’s laughter and lilting Gaelic voices spilling into the night.  

Claire hung back, pretending to help Ian with their bags as Jamie jogged forward to embrace a dark-haired woman who barely reached his shoulders, lifting a giggling toddler from her hip and high into the air.  The dogs spun around his legs, practically tripping him as he tried to climb the stairs and answer his sister’s rapid fire questions all at once.  Halting before the door, he handed his nephew over before Jenny disappeared inside, the dogs at her heels.

Feeling absurdly nervous, Claire mounted the stairs and accepted his outstretched hand.

“So, this is it?” she asked inanely.

“Aye, this is it.  Welcome to my home, Sassenach.”

***

They’d eaten on the train, so after a hasty introduction to the rest of the family and a promise to become better acquainted over breakfast, Jamie and Claire headed upstairs.  It occurred to her on the second landing that she had no idea where he expected her to sleep.   Their status as temporary lodgers in other people’s homes back in London had made the question moot.  

Visceral memories of their increasingly heated goodnight kisses caused Claire to trip on braided rug.  Jamie turned as she was righting herself.

“Aye, well, here we are.  The lavatory is jest across the hall.  If ye need anything, the laird’s room is up these stairs.”

“The laird’s room?  Wait, who’s the laird in this story?” she was momentarily distracted from her agitation by this unforeseen detail. 

“Well, me.  But dinna get any grand illusions.  Tis only a leftover title from when Clan Fraser ruled o’er these parts before the Rising.”

Her mouth was moving before she fully considered her next words.

“And does that make me your lady?”

Instead of laughing off her glib comment as she hoped he would, Jamie’s face grew somber.

“Nah.  Tha’ position is presently unfilled.  In this house, the laird sleeps next tae his lady, always.  G’night tae ye, Sassenach.”  And with a soft kiss that barely ghosted her lips, Jamie retired to bed.  Alone.

***

The next two days were a glimpse into a way of living whose existence Claire had previously discredited.  Communal mealtimes, where each family member had an assigned role, from buttering the bread (Jamie’s three-year old nephew and namesake) to clearing the table (Ian, and by their second meal, Claire).  Morning and evening chores that left the adults drowsy and smelling slightly of the chicken coop.  Siblings bickering, slamming doors and then laughing about it by suppertime.  Outings to local landmarks in the rain, a cheerful row of matching Wellingtons and wax cotton jackets tramping along well-worn paths.  Visits to neighbours, carrying a Pyrex dish of some culinary offering and returning four hours later, stuffed to the gills and carrying a different Pyrex dish loaded with leftovers.

Seeing Jamie take his place at the centre of this family dynamic was a shock.  She’d only ever known him in an urban setting, where he was one man among millions; noteworthy for his decency, his peculiar fondness for blood pudding, and because he was hers.  At Lallybroch, he grew before her eyes, taking on new dimensions that challenged and teased her understanding of him.

This was his concept of home.

This was his template for love.

***

On Sunday afternoon, the clouds had lifted to reveal a robin’s egg sky.  Claire accompanied Ian on a circuit of the upper pasture.  A border collie named Jem bounded down the hill ahead of them.  Ian was an easy companion, and they were mid-conversation about the impact of the Scots in the history of medicine when Claire pulled up short, words evaporating in her throat.

There in the hay field just below stood Jamie.  Long rows of golden sheaves that had been cut the past week were now drying in the late summer sun.  Armed with nothing but a pitchfork, Jamie had obviously been working for some time.  He wore boots and loose trousers, but his shirt was long abandoned.  Sweat glistened in the fine russet curls that covered his breastbone and over the sun-kissed curves of his shoulders.  He was so beautiful, it hurt to breathe.

“He’s himself again,” Ian remarked.  “It lightens my heart tae see it.”

Claire tore her eyes away from Jamie.  Ian was watching her with a knowing twinkle in his eye.

“Well, he obviously loves being here, with his family...” she dodged.

Ian shook his head.

“Nah, t’isn’t that.  Since his accident, he’s been... altered.  Jamie was always the golden one, ye ken?  Smart, strong, funny, kind.  He wore it well, but it gives ye a sense of... invincibility, maybe?  Tha’ blast ripped apart more than his back.  I think it made him doubt who he is on the inside.  Ye’ve helped him find tha’ man again, Claire, and for that we are in yer debt.”

She couldn’t look at Ian then, for fear that he would see just how much she wanted what he was saying to be the truth.  To be essential to someone who meant so much to her, to be enough purely by being herself, it was more than her feelings could contain.

It was what Jamie had been trying to tell her all along.

***

The third stair between the guest room and the laird’s bedroom creaked, and Claire froze, eyes darting guiltily down the corridor to where Ian, Jenny and their children slept.   Nothing stirred beyond the drumming of her heartbeat, so she crept the rest of the way, tapping quietly on the solid wood door.

Jamie’s voice was alert as he beckoned, “Come in, Jenny.”  She clutched a thin sheaf of papers to her chest and entered the room.  The only illumination came from the hearth, where a low fire still blazed.  It cast its light on a large, masculine room, with deep blue wallpaper, heavy damask drapes and an immense four poster bed.  Jamie sat up against the headboard, the glow from his iPad echoing in his downcast eyes.

“It’s not Jenny.  It’s me,” she whispered.

With a visible flinch, the iPad fell to his lap.

“Claire...”

He stretched her name out like honey from a jar, trickling sweetly from his mouth.

She wanted to run.  From this plush room, this welcoming home, this uninvited sanctuary of tenderness.  Her legs quivered with the impulse.  Instead, she plunged forward into the room, right to the edge of the bed, and thrust her offering towards Jamie, who followed her movements as though she was defusing a bomb.

“Whas’ this then?” he asked, peering down at the document.

“It’s our lease.  I signed it.  And faxed a copy to the landlord.”

There, she had done it.  The pebble that would start the landslide.  There was no turning back now, and it was pure relief.

Jamie was silent for so long, staring down at her signature, that she began to wonder if he’d fallen asleep.  When he looked up again, his eyes were glassy.

“Are ye sure, Sassenach?”

A drunken encounter in a pub.  Agony radiating from his bright blue eyes on a hospital gurney.  Her rain-soaked salvation.  A roommate.  A friend.  His steady patience as they tentatively grew closer. And now something more, something bigger than she knew how to articulate, sneaking around the margins of her fear.  

She wasn’t sure of much, but she was certain that Jamie’s love could never hurt.  The rest, the panic that she could lose him or disappoint him, that was just the price of paradise.

Instead of answering the question directly, she walked around to the opposite side of the bed and gestured to the empty mattress beside Jamie’s long body.

“Is this place still vacant?”

His smile was radiant.

“For ye, Sassenach, always.”

***

It was like no other sex she’d ever experienced.  Intimacy, up until then, had been a transaction, an exchange of debits.  This was a cancellation of accounts, an obliteration of any mutual debt.  They loved each other with the pure, mindless joy of a wave meeting the shore.

Which isn’t to say that it was perfect.  It felt strange to touch Jamie in more than a friendly way.   Not at all unpleasant, but strange.  Like going to the theatre to see a well-loved play, and suddenly being thrust onto the stage.  The hesitance behind Jamie’s touch told her he felt something similar.  

In a particularly awkward moment, they were jostling and bumping to remove each other’s pajamas when her hair got caught in the buckle of his watch.

“Ouch!” she yelped.  He pulled away, stammering apologies, which only made things worse.  After a few failed attempts on Jamie’s part, she reached up and unclasped the watch band, giving him two hands to work with.  By this point they were both giggling, the gravitas of the moment lost.

“Ye’ve a great deal of hair, mo nighean donn,” Jamie groused as he lay the offending watch on his nightstand.

“Complaining already, Fraser?”

“God, no. Ye’re... would it be sentimental tae say ye’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen?”

She was lying naked, but for a pair of skimpy knickers, the firelight caressing her limbs where they were splayed against the dark sheets.  Jamie’s visual perusal of her body held a potent combination of lust and reverence that warmed her blood.

“I suppose I can tolerate a bit of sentimentality,” she conceded, rolling towards the bulwark of his naked chest.  Her fingers played down the corduroy ripples of his flank.

“You’re beautiful too, Jamie.”

The mood in the room shifted again.  Soon they pitching across the mattress, trying to touch in as many ways possible.  Their skin grew slippery with sweat.  At some point, underwear must have been removed, because she could feel the coarse abrasion of his pubic hair against her thigh, alongside the tensile ridge of his erection.

“Claire,” he gasped as their hips ground together in frenzied pulses. “If ye dinna want me tae go any further, I need ye tae tell me now.”

She reached between them, taking the heft of him in her palm, feeling a spasm of need shudder through his frame.

“There’s nothing about you that I do not want, James Fraser.”

A cavernous groan, a frantic search for a condom in the bedside drawer, the tearing of a foil wrapper, and then a breathless hesitation.  She opened her eyes to see Jamie looking down as though she was the morning sun.  There was nothing left inside her but dazzling hunger, filling the spaces where her fear once resided.

Here was the start.

[mermaidsneedwater]

second chances | chapter one

series page

warnings: mentions of death/loss

The Anniversary

Three years.

It had been three years without Jaebeom’s loud laughter, annoying dad jokes and his frustrating mood swings. You’d give anything to have five more minutes with him though. As Nora jumped up on your bed, she purred. Slinking by the side of your leg, she settled on Jaebeom’s pillow.

“I know,” you turned to her, reaching out to pet her. “I miss him too,”

Checking your messages, you opened to see one from Chaeyoung.

Chaeyoung: Thinking of you today. I’m here for you if you want to talk… or drink.

Sighing, you set the phone back down on your bedside table. Time to get ready for work.

+++

“She was literally the rudest bitch I’ve ever met, I swear. That hoe can shove it the next time her manager wants a feature because I’m not writing it.” Chaeyoung complained.

“I hear you.” You said mindlessly, continuing to write your email. These days it seemed like your brain was on autopilot. To the outside person looking in, you were alright. You did your job well, smiled politely, but if anyone truly looked closer they’d…

“Y/N? Hello? Are you even listening to me?” Chaeyoung waved a hand in front of your face.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you looked up. “I’m sorry Chae, I’m just… distracted.”

Her face softened at your words, reaching out she touched your shoulder. “Of course you are Y/N. I completely understand. Hey, why don’t you come over to my place tonight? I’m having a couple of friends over, I think you’d like them.”

Frowning, you scrunched your nose “I don’t know, I’m not really in the party kind of mood, I wouldn’t want to put a damper on your evening.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! You shouldn’t be alone tonight. And it’s not even a party. You’re coming and that’s final.” She nodded.

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting your little chat session during work hours?” A voice called out.

The two of you turned your heads to see your boss, Susie Park crossing her arms and tapping her foot. As the head of the magazine ICON, she was constantly popping in and out of the office. Wordlessly, Chaeyoung scurried back to her desk. She turned back to mouth, bitch.

Holding back a laugh, you turned to Susie. “I sent out the emails that you had queued up, so that’s done. The cover of next month’s issue is sitting on your desk waiting for approval. Also your husband left another message for you, he wants to settle a time to meet with the divorce lawyers.”

Susie scrolled through her phone as you relayed the information, waving her hand nonchalantly as she headed into her office, “I’m very busy, tell him to call back in a month.”

You followed her into her office and shut the door behind you. ”Yeah, the thing is, this is the third time he’s left a message for you this week. I really think you should–”

“I’m going to stop you right there.” Susie held a finger up “You are an assistant. I pay you to assist me with my tasks, not to tell me your opinion on my life. If I wanted that, I’d call my mother.” She said. Pointing to the door, she motioned for you to leave. “Be a doll and shut the door on the way out.”

Pressing your lips in a line, you complied with her orders. Slinking back to your desk, you sat back in your chair. This was going to be a long day.

+++

Friday night gatherings at Chaeyoung’s had notoriously been known as legendary. Of course you didn’t know that because most of the time you avoided going.

Chaeyoung’s landlord had somewhat of a soft spot for her and had let her use the rooftop space of her apartment complex as the venue for her gatherings. In awe of the view, you were sad it had taken you so long to finally come to one of her parties, clearly you had been missing out. Though, the crowd on the roof was bigger than you’d expected. Of course, being the social butterfly she was, you should’ve known that by ‘a couple of friends’, Chaeyoung meant about thirty people.

Sitting on a lounge chair, you sat back watching people dancing, drinking, laughing. Sometimes it was hard to believe you were only twenty-five. You’d experienced so much life out of college, it felt strange seeing people your age without the weight of the world on their shoulders.

“Y/N! What are you doing sitting down? Come dance!” A tipsy Chaeyoung pulled you up.

Smoothing out your top, you shied away from her, “Oh no, I can’t dance.”

You backed away from her only to bump into someone’s chest. Spinning around, you felt the stranger catch your waist.

“Woah,” He steadied you, “You can’t dance or you won’t?”

He stood tall in dark skinny jeans and a black plaid checked shirt. As he smiled at you, you noticed the moles scattered across his face. They were everywhere, under his eye, across his cheek, above his forehead. You almost caught yourself thinking he was cute, almost.

“I really, really can’t, trust me.” You told him.

“I doubt that.” He scoffed, taking your hand he pulled you to dance. “C’mon, it’s not that hard.”

Raising her eyebrows at you, Chaeyoung giggled before retreating to the group she was previously talking to. The stranger held your hands, pushing you out before pulling you back in. He moved the two of you with such grace, you were shocked you could move like that.

Twirling you around, he cradled the small of your back in his hand and slowly lowered you. You felt your heart slightly flutter. It had been a while since a man had held you there.

Bringing you back up he grinned “See? Not so hard.”

Caged in his arms, you chuckled awkwardly, “That was all you.”

“Nah, you’re a natural.” He complimented. “You just need a partner who can keep up with you.”

He held your gaze for a little bit before his eyes flickered between yours and your lips. You could feel the distance between you closing as he leaned in.

This was all wrong, how could you be doing this? On today of all days…

You pulled away from him, turning around and walking away.

The tall stranger caught up to you, “Woah, wait up! Did I do something wrong?” He asked, clearly concerned. You sighed as he stood in front of you, obstructing any path of escape from this situation.

“No, it’s not you. It’s me. I’m sorry. I just... I shouldn’t be here.” You pushed past him.

Not buying your answer, Yugyeom again stepped and caught you by the wrist. “Please don’t go. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He apologized sincerely. “Can we start over?”

Pausing, you nodded. The tall man sighed with relief, holding out his hand he introduced himself, “I’m Yugyeom.”

Taking his hand, you shook it and gave him a small smile “Y/N.”

“So Y/N... Do you want to get a beer?”

chapter two

So this was the first chapter of my fic! I’m so excited I finally get to put it out into the world. I hope you guys like it! The rest of the fic is going to be 50% fluff and 50% angst. Next chapter comes out December 3rd.

[artificialqueens]

Taste of a Poison Paradise, Chapter 2 (Multi) - Joley

Chapter Summary: Jackie embraces her truth, Crystal and Gigi are deeply in the ‘idiots’ stage of ‘idiots to lovers’, Brooke Lynn and Vanessa take new steps in their relationship, and Priyanka continues her affair with Lemon.

ao3 link

When Lemon entered the dressing room, the other girls looked up, but looked a bit confused. “Jan didn’t come in with you?” Gigi asked.

“Jan didn’t even come home with me last night. She told me and Pri to go on without her. My guess is she pulled a Vanjie and went home with the hot business woman,” Lemon shrugged as she took her seat.

“Hey, don’t drag my name into it,” Vanessa huffed, though she supposed she couldn’t be that mad with that being her claim to fame. She was the first of the girls to date a client, and up until now, she had assumed she would be the only one.

Jan arrived a bit later, only about five minutes late, but took her seat as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “Hey y’all, did I miss anything good?”

The girls giggled. “I don’t think anything here is as good as what you been getting,” Vanessa teased. “You have Brooke’s friend speaking French between your legs all night or what?”

A broad grin spread across Jan’s lips. “Oh, that’s only the start,” she replied. “God, you guys, I couldn’t even walk right this morning. She ruined me – I don’t think I can have sex with anyone else after her.”

“You bottoms are so dramatic,” Gigi remarked, looking at Jan through her reflection in the mirror.

“You’re just jealous you don’t have a bottom to ruin,” Jan retorted as she took her seat.

“One in particular,” Jaida chimed in.

Gigi rolled her eyes, wondering why she bothered saying anything in the first place. It’s not like Jaida or the other girls were wrong – her crush on Crystal was common knowledge among the dancers. She couldn’t help herself – when she had started working there, Crystal was the first to see through her stoic, standoffish front, something that took the average person weeks. The two of them bonded right away.

But To her dismay, Crystal had a girlfriend when her crush first developed. Though even when that relationship ended, she still did her best to use that as an excuse for not saying anything.

“I don’t see why you can’t talk to her. It’s been two months, it wouldn’t be a rebound,” Lemon offered.

“You’re technically correct,” Gigi conceded, “but it’s complicated, we’ve developed such a friendship in that time…”

“Bitch, that is the oldest excuse in the fucking book,” Vanessa retorted as she coated her brunette locks in a layer of hairspray. “Oh, we can’t date, it’ll ruin our friendship,” she mocked in a ‘white’ voice, “such a cop-out.”

Gigi frowned, strumming her nails against the vanity table. “Doesn’t make it untrue…”

Before Vanessa could reply, Jackie was at the door. She led Crystal, Priyanka, and Kameron in, then took a deep breath. “Ladies, I wanted you all in here because I have something to tell you.”

The girls looked at each other, murmuring with confusion and concern. Was something happening to the club? Were they in trouble? But they quickly quieted down and redirected their attention redirected to Jackie, urging her to continue.

Jackie took a deep breath. “Alright, I suspect this might not be the biggest surprise to you, but this is still difficult for me to say because, you know, it’s something I haven’t really said in my whole thirty-five years.” She pressed her lips into a line and swallowed thickly, doing her best to keep it together. “I’ve always felt a strong kinship with you guys, and deep down, I’ve always known it’s… it’s because I’m gay.”

The girls didn’t give Jackie time to brace herself for their reaction. Within seconds they surrounded her, hugging her tight. Sure, they had suspected it for a long time. Some of them had assumed Jackie was out but simply never mentioned it. But regardless of what they’d previously thought, all that mattered now was giving Jackie their complete, unbridled support.

And Jackie couldn’t do anything but sob. It was a sob of relief, of joy, but also of exhaustion – she had carried that weight on her chest for far too long and her lungs were desperate for the air of freedom. She knew this would only be the first time she came out, and she didn’t know when the next would be, but at least she knew she had a group of girls she could be safe with.

“That’s okay, sweetie. Let it out,” Jan soothed as she rubbed her back. “We’re all so proud of you.”

“The first time is always the hardest,” Jaida agreed. “You don’t gotta go tell everyone, just embracing it for yourself is enough.”

Jackie looked up at Jaida, opening her mouth to speak, only for her throat to run dry. Instead, she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. “Thanks, you guys. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”

When the group hug ended, everyone relaxed into their usual spots. “Alright, ladies,” Jackie prompted, “let’s have a great shift.”

As Crystal and Priyanka returned to the bar, they were still processing their bosses’ confession. “I’m fucking proud of Jackie,” Priyanka was saying. “I almost peed myself when I came out to y’all.”

“Weren’t you already sleeping with Lemon when you came out to us?” Crystal asked as she continued getting her station ready.

Despite a tinge of embarrassment, Priyanka laughed. “Only like, three times,” she defended. Even though she hadn’t been out when she started working there, she had quickly found out that Lemon had no idea how not to be out, nor did she know how to be subtle. Priyanka had realized she had to choose between staying closeted at work and pursuing her budding affair, and the choice was obvious to her.

“Three more than some of us,” Crystal murmured under her breath.

Priyanka scoffed. “Bitch, if you’re still carrying a torch for Gigi, why don’t you fucking tell her already? It’s not the world’s biggest secret, you know. We all figured it out,” she said, then paused for a moment, “well, except her.”

“Therein lies the problem,” she lamented. “It’d be easier if I knew that she only saw us as friends, then I could let it go. But there’s always this… underlying sexual tension between us. I don’t know. I’m confused.”

“Underlying sexual tension?” Priyanka’s brows rose. “She’s the only one of the girls that doesn’t put her bra back on when she comes to get a drink from you… well, neither does Vanjie, sometimes, but the bitch is just forgetful.”

Crystal chuckled softly. “Either that or she’s swinging by the security booth. Did you hear her tell Jaida she was gonna broach the ‘open relationship’ subject with Brooke, like, soon?”

“No, but I think it’s a good idea. Nip it in the bud before things get messy, huh?”

“Why, because it’s too late for you?”

Priyanka opened her mouth to speak, then pressed her lips together. “I… yeah, pretty much. I’ve accepted my life’s chaos, though.”

——

When Brooke Lynn wasn’t visiting the club as a client, she was often there as both a supportive girlfriend and pseudo-manager for Vanessa. She held herself in a confident, professional way that allowed her to walk right through the front door and into the back where the dressing room was without anyone looking twice, let alone question it.

Vanessa looked up when Brooke walked in and smiled, ignoring the way her chest tightened. “Hey, boo,” she greeted, getting up to give her a quick hug and kiss. “I’m glad you’re here, I been meaning to talk to you.”

“Oh, good,” Brooke nodded as she sat in one of the empty chairs. “I wanted to talk to you too. Do you want to go first?”

Normally, Vanessa would’ve automatically jumped on the opportunity to go first. But her nerves were still twisting up her insides and she figured she could calm herself down while her girlfriend spoke. “No, it’s fine, go ahead.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and all things considered…” she took a deep breath, “I think it would be a good idea for you to move in with me.”

“Yeah!” Vanessa’s nerves were instantly replaced with excitement – she loved the idea of getting to move in with Brooke, they had gotten so close despite their relatively short relationship. She was there most of the time anyway, and it made her own apartment look like a prison cell in comparison. And it didn’t hurt that she wouldn’t have to deal with rent or a landlord anymore. “I love you, B, I think that’s a great idea.”

Brooke brightened up. “Really? Awesome, we can get started on that whenever, really. Most of your stuff is at my place or here anyway. What did you want to tell me?”

Vanessa deflated a bit, reconsidering the whole idea. Of course she was still attracted to Kameron and didn’t plan on throwing out the ‘open relationship’ idea entirely. The timing, however, felt off. Inappropriate. Cold, even. “You know what? It ain’t nothing important, it can wait.”

“Are you sure? If something’s wrong, you can tell me, I want to know.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Vanessa looked her in the eye so Brooke could tell she was being honest. “It just isn’t worth bringing up right now, I’d rather focus on this moving gig.”

Although Brooke wasn’t entirely convinced, she decided to let it go for the time being. “Alright. I’m gonna go grab a drink and let you finish getting ready,” she got up and kissed her cheek before heading back into the main room.

Vanessa ran her fingers through her hair and exhaled deeply. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. “Well, that got fucked up,” she muttered.

“You good, girl?” Lemon asked as she took her usual seat. “Usually you have a smug grin on when Brooke leaves the dressing room. The open relationship thing didn’t go over well?”

“It didn’t go at all,” she answered. “I was gonna, but then she asked me to move in with her… and I fucking love her, of course I wanna take that next step. But I couldn’t just jump from there to that just ‘cause I can’t stop thinking about getting fucked by Kameron.”

Lemon nodded and listened, fixing her hair and makeup in the mirror as well. “I mean, I can’t exactly be a moral compass here, but I get your concern. You guys haven’t done anything yet, have you?”

“Nothin’, just some flirting and shit. All hands-free. And mouths-free,” she confirmed. “You know I’d never wanna do something to hurt Brooke. Been on the other side of it before, shit sucks.”

“You guys love each other,” Lemon reassured. “I’m sure you’ve built up the trust to have that sort of honest conversation.” Under her breath, she added “must be nice.”

Vanessa didn’t catch it. “Guess you’re right, it’ll work out eventually,” she decided.

“Atta girl,” Lemon patted her shoulder as she got up. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got my nightly home wrecking to do.”

Vanessa looked up as Lemon left, only to make eye contact with Brooke, who was standing in the doorway with a glass in each hand. “How long you been standing there?” she asked hesitantly.

Brooke walked in and sat in the same chair she’d been in before, setting one glass on the counter and holding onto the other one. “So… Kameron, huh? Can’t say I’m surprised. She’s beautiful and you do have a type.”

She furrowed her brows, unsure of how to process Brooke’s reaction. “You’re not mad? You don’t even look pissed or nothing.”

“Well, no offense babe, but with your line of work, I’ve already wrapped my head around the idea of having to share you. Sure, it’s a little different comparing clients to someone you’re actually interested in, but I can’t fathom it being that bad,” she explained. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll pick up a cute little side piece while you two are going at it.”

Even with the explanation, Vanessa was still perplexed. But she was getting her way, so she supposed she couldn’t really complain. “You still want me to move in though, right?”

“Of course I do,” Brooke answered without hesitation. “This doesn’t change how I feel about you or about us. We’ll try the open thing out, see how we feel, and take it from there.”

Vanessa finally allowed herself to relax. “Alright, yeah, sounds good to me.”

“Good,” Brooke hummed and finished her drink off. “I’ll see you later,” she said, giving Vanessa a kiss before she left again. But this time, instead of going back into the main room, she went out the back door. She fished a cigarette and lighter out of her purse and lit it, then leaned against the wall as she took a drag.

“Thought you were trying to quit,” Gigi remarked. She had been outside for a few minutes, wrapped in a long, black robe with a lit joint held between two fingers.

Brooke exhaled, smoke blowing through her mouth. “Well, I just gave my girlfriend permission to fuck the security guard, so I’m having a cheat day.”

Gigi furrowed her brows as she took another drag. “Kameron? Why’d you do that then?”

“Because I love her and trust her but at the same time, I’d rather know what she’s up to instead of her lusting after another woman behind my back. Also we’re moving in together. It’s been an eventful night. So… open relationship it is.”

“Look at it this way, you’ll probably be fucking more once you live together, maybe it’ll wear her out,” Gigi offered.

Brooke laughed softly. “That isn’t as reassuring as you think it is, Geege.”

“At least you’re getting some.”

“No progress with Crystal, I take it?” Brooke asked, then dropped her spent cigarette on the ground and put it out with her shoe.

Gigi shook her head. “And with this gig plus school, I haven’t had time to find some distraction sex. You know how it is, right? When your brain gets stuck on something and the only way to dislodge it is by railing a pretty girl?”

“Yes, I remember being twenty-two. First time I got my heart broken by a straight girl,” she recalled. She looked at Gigi with a fond smile. She saw a lot of herself in the dancer, felt something of a kindred spirit. “Let me get a hit of that, wanna see why Vanjie loves that shit so much.”

Gigi covered her mouth with her free hand to giggle. “Sure, go nuts,” she said and passed the joint to her. She lingered close to Brooke, watching her curiously.

Brooke took a drag the same way she would off a cigarette. While it felt the same physically, she did prefer the way the weed made her feel. “Hm, yeah, I get it,” she said as she passed it back to Gigi. But as she did, there was a moment where their eyes met, where their shared loneliness, with sex on their minds. They started to lean closer, their lips parting…

“Nope,” they said in unison, pulling back and laughing.

——

Once the club had closed for the night, Lemon was sitting up on the bar while Priyanka was cleaning up. “You coming home with me tonight, Pri?” she asked, batting her lashes and swinging her legs.

“Can’t,” Priyanka sighed. “I promised Mark I’d watch some stupid fucking documentary with him when I got home,” she rolled her eyes.

“Who cares about him?” Lemon whined. “We haven’t had sex in like, almost two whole days. I’m literally dying.”

Priyanka finished her task then came around the bar, trapping Lemon between her arms as she held onto the bar. “You are the neediest bitch I have ever met. You know that, right?” Despite her ‘scolding’, she started kissing Lemon’s neck.

And of course, Lemon was happy with any small victory. “I think you like it, though. I think you get off on being needed, on knowing that I’m thinking of you when I need to be sexy on stage.”

“Do you really?” Priyanka asked. “Do you think about how good I fuck you while your shaking your ass for a crowd?” she asked, moving one of her hands between Lemon’s thighs. “Let it get you all worked up and let them think you’re just really into your job?”

Lemon’s legs instantly spread when Priyanka’s hand slipped between her thighs. Even though she didn’t like feeding Priyanka’s ego, she couldn’t pretend the dirty talk didn’t affect her. “Mm, of course I do, easy when no one makes me come like you do.”

“Good girl,” Priyanka praised, then rewarded her by slipping two fingers inside of Lemon’s panties, then slowly easing them into her pussy one after the other. “Look at you, already wet. You really were just thinking about getting fucked, weren’t you?”

“Fuck…” Lemon breathed out, bucking against Priyanka’s fingers, trying to writhe in time with her thrusts. “I was, couldn’t help it.”

Priyanka smirked, kissing up Lemon’s neck, then along her jaw and the shell of her ear. “My needy little whore,” she cooed as she fucked her harder and faster.

Considering most of their coworkers hadn’t left either, Lemon did make an attempt to stay quiet. She bit down on her lip, just whimpering as she rocked against her fingers.

But Priyanka didn’t make it easy on her. He curled and twisted her fingers, knowing every which way to make Lemon squirm and whine. She kept it up, fucking Lemon through her orgasm and even a bit after that. She then eased her fingers out and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Think you’ll make it through the night now, you insufferable baby?”

Lemon rolled her eyes. “I think I’ll survive,” she giggled as she hopped down from the bar. “I’m gonna go get changed, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She wrapped her arms around Priyanka’s waist, gazing up at her and stealing another kiss before leaving.

“You better wipe that bar down thoroughly,” Crystal remarked when she returned from the kitchen.

Priyanka groaned. “Ah, fuck, forgot you were here.”

She shrugged. “Didn’t wanna interrupt. But seriously, clean that shit up.”

[hrina]

And They Were Roommates

A semi-crack fic featuring bi!Reader x female!OC and awkward Harry

Written for #majorharry20k

Disclaimer: I have no idea how washing machines work. I don’t know if this is even plausible. Just go with it. Also, im very bisexual, so I’m not fetishizing it or anything. Just thought I should mention that too. I intended this to be about 1k and it ended up being 

 Prompts:

1 – “that’s by far the dumbest thing you’ve ever done”

3- “our water bill is going to be through the roof after this”

23 – “Great. I’m soaked.”

To Cass: Hi. You don’t know me, and I prefer to stay anonymous (I’m not the butterfly anon I promise). I’ve been following your blog for a while, since you were a 5sos blog, and I love your writing. I do write, but until now I haven’t written for Harry. Your prompts inspired me. I’m so happy you reached 20k, you deserve it. Hope you enjoy <3  

“It’s broken.”

“Wha’d’ya mean it’s broken?”

“I mean broken. Doesn’t work. No longer functions. How many definitions do you want.”

Harry shakes his head in disbelief. “How on Earth do you break a washing machine?”

In his disbelief, he misses your and Val’s faces turning red.

“I guess- maybe- we put too many clothes in?” Val stammers.  “The landlord will fix it though right? Isn’t it in our lease agreement?” 

Harry shakes his head again. “I’m pretty sure we’re responsible for our own broken appliances.”

“That’s a shit deal,” you jump in for the first time. Harry’s eyes land on you. A couple beats pass, enough for it to become almost awkward. His gaze is intense up until the moment he breaks the silence.

“Yeah, well, we weren’t exactly master negotiators when we moved in. The rent was so low we figured it was worth it.” You’ve heard the story of how Val and Harry became roommates many times from her. How they had been put together for a group project at school, but neither had wanted to meet at their own place, so they ended up always meeting at a coffee shop. How they had become fast friends, meeting up for coffee after the project was over, and opening up to one another about how campus housing had screwed them over. Harry had complained about living with boys, how they were messy, never cleaned up after themselves, ate all his food, and most importantly (and disgustingly) left used condoms everywhere. He had basically been the house cook and maid for the majority of the year. 

Val’s roommates, well, they weren’t outwardly homophobic, but it was little jabs at her that added up over time. Cliché comments like ‘you don’t want to date me, do you?’ and things like being okay with being undressed around each other, but getting weird around Val. By midterm first semester, she had been sleeping in your room more times than not. You would have let her move in, but understandably, your roommates weren’t too happy about another body in your already-too-tight room. So, after the first year of housing was over, Val and Harry had pooled funds and with a bit of luck, mixed with the fact that Harry’s stepdad knew a guy, they managed to find a cute little apartment not too far from the school. An apartment that they lived in to this day, three years later. 

Although you were over there quite a lot (who wouldn’t prefer an apartment over campus housing?), you and Harry had never really become close. Sure, you two would be in proximity during group outings, but you spent most of your time there in Val’s room, and whenever you were in the kitchen or living room, Harry seemed to be busy in his room. You originally thought he didn’t like you, but when you asked Val about it, she assured you that he liked you just fine, though she acknowledged that he was a bit weird around you sometimes. It only got worse after the time he had accidentally walked in on you and Val.

You and Val had a very close relationship – but you had both agreed you were better off as friends. But friendships can have benefits, can’t they? Besides, the times you hooked up were scarce – only when you were both in between partners, which, admittedly, wasn’t very often for you. The time Harry had caught you was right after you had broken up with your boyfriend after finding out that he had been seeing another girl. You had been angry and frustrated, and in need of some sort of release. Val, who rarely dated, was willing to help out. 

You don’t think Harry had seen much, but you had only realized that he had seen something when you heard the bedroom door slam. After that, he had had a hard time meeting your eyes. You couldn’t for the life of you understand why though, he certainly wasn’t a blushing virgin himself. You had been there to see off quite a few of his one-night stands trying to sneak out in the morning. 

To be fair, you were also usually there for the same reason, just a different roommate. The difference was instead of sneaking out in the morning, you’d stay for the day. And usually the following night. And sometimes even the night after that. Val had told you that given the amount of times she slept at yours during the first year, you were entitled to stay over whenever you wanted, and Harry didn’t seem to mind. There’d been quite a few times when you’d arrive at their apartment late at night, drunk out of your mind, to borrow some of Val’s clothes while you slept on their couch. The washing machine came in handy, as you could normally throw your clothes from the night before in with one of their loads. That was actually how you and Val discoveredotheruses for the washing machine. 

It really had been a complete accident. You and Val had gone to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer, but there was still two minutes left on the machine. Instead of leaving and coming back, you and Val elected to just wait it out (because if you left there was no question that you’d forget for the next couple of hours). You sat down in the only chair in the room, so Val decided it was a good idea to hop onto the washing machine itself. Turns out it was a good idea. The second her ass landed, the machine started rattling worse than before and her face contorted into pleasure. You jumped up, for a second thinking she might be in pain, before she used an arm to push you away, signaling that she was okay. 

“What’s going on?” The confusion was clear in your voice. In lieu of an answer, Val just looked up at you, her eyes dark. One of her hands came down to rest between her thighs, supporting her body weight as the machine continued to buck. Realization dawned on you as she let out a groan not dissimilar to one she had let out with you a couple hours earlier. Her hand that wasn’t supporting her came around the back of your head, dragging your lips to hers. 

That day had started something for you two. After it, you and Val spent a lot of time in the laundry room. It had become almost a routine, every time a new load went in, you and Val would stay in the room for at least 15 minutes longer than you needed to. If Harry noticed, he didn’t say anything.

In the next couple of months, the routine became more of a tradition. Clothes in the house were cleaner than ever. Loads gradually progress from just lights and darks to six different categories: light delicates, dark delicates, light regulars, dark regulars, denim, and sheets. The more loads, the more time you guys had. Normally you took turns, with one of you lending the other a hand (no pun intended), but this time, Val had gotten so worked up, that she jumped up with you. Apparently, the weight of two girls plus the stress of constantly running had been too much for the old machine. It sputtered, and then shut off. You had glanced over your shoulder, hoping that maybe the cycle had just ended, though you knew it was too early. Your stomach sank as you saw the knobs frozen halfway through the cycle. You and Val stared at each other with wide eyes. And that’s how you came to be where you are right now, trying to find a reasonable explanation for Harry as to why his washing machine is broken.

Which, by the way, is much easier said than done. As his green eyes bore into you, your mind scrambles to think up an explanation, but you’re drawing blanks. You look over at Val for help, but she looks just as lost as you are. She does a better job of putting on a confident mask though. 

“D’you think you can fix it?” She asks Harry. You see it for what it is – an attempt at deflection. 

Harry snorts. “Sure, let me just use my many years of mechanical experience to – oh wait.” 

“Ok wise guy, at least you used to be a baker?”

Harry stares at her. “What does that have anything to do with a washing machine?”

“Because ovens …?”

Harry continues to stare at her. 

“Could you at least take a look at it?” You jump in. His gaze turns to you. For a moment, you worry you’ve offended him, before he bows his head in a slight nod and steps to stand in front of the machine. 

“Ok, well, first off, how much of your laundry do you have left?” 

You think. “Well, I think we were only halfway through the third cycle, so-“  “Woah woah woah wait hold on.” Harry stops you. “Only? Third?How many cycles were you planning on doing?”

“Uh,” You count in your head. “Six?” You look over at Val for confirmation, and she nods. 

“Six?!” You suppose you understand Harry’s incredulity. In hindsight, six might be a bit excessive.  “Why on earth would you need to do six cycles?” This time, he directs it at Val. 

She flounders to come up with an excuse. “Uh, well, gotta sort colors, you know…” She trails off

“Yeah but six loads? What, do you guys get off on doing laundry or something?” He says it sarcastically, but both your and Val’s faces instantaneously turn red. 

“No.” He whispers. Neither of you answer. You start studying the pattern of tiles on the floor. “What, is this like a- a laundry kink? Is that even a thing?” Val’s head snaps up. “No, dumbass. Laundry kink is not a thing.”

“Well sorryfor assuming having sex in a laundry room means- “

“Oh for God’s sake we weren’t even having sex!”

“Ok well getting each other off – “

“We weren’t getting each other off!” That seems to stop Harry short. He gives Val a questioning look, encouraging her to go on. 

“We- the washing machine- it,” she stumbles over her words. “Y’know it- vibrates?”

“No.” Harry drags his hands down over his face. “There’s no way you two have been using our washing machine as a vibrator.” 

You look up, guilty expression all over your face. 

“That’s gross. This is by far the dumbest thing you’ve ever done, and Val, that’s saying a lot for you. Guys, I do my laundry here, I want my clothes to be clean- “

Val tries to defend you two. “We clean up! Also, I thought most straight guys loved the idea of two girls- “

“I’m not most straight guys. Also forgive me if I’m not too keen on the idea of my roommate and her girlfriend in the laundry room – “

“Wait girlfriend?”

“Yes?” “Do- do you think we’re dating?”

“Well, aren’t you?” “Harry no.” The corners of Val’s mouth tug up in a smile, as the tide of embarrassment starts turning in her favor.

“Guys? Maybe focus on one problem at a time? We kind of have a bigger issue.” You step in, gesturing at the washing machine. 

Harry turns to you. “So you’re single? I mean-” He looks back and forth between you and Val. “You both are?” “Yes? But like (Y/N) said, bigger problems.” Val pats the washing machine. “Weren’t you about to take a look?”

Harry takes a couple more seconds to respond. His gaze holds yours once again, before he shakes his head as if to clear off cobwebs and starts examining the washing machine. 

You look over to Val to see her staring back at you. You widen your eyes comically and lift your eyebrows. She shakes her head in a silent laugh. You have a feeling in years to come, you might be able to look back on this and laugh, but for now, the mortification is still strong. 

“Okay,” Your attention snaps back to where Harry’s crouched down at the side of the machine. “I think it might be a problem with the water. It might be blocked or something.” As he talks, his hand comes to rest on a metal tube feeding into the back of the machine that you assume the water runs though. “So if we call a repairman tonight, they should be able to be here by-” And then, the tube slips. You don’t know if it’s due to the pressure of Harry’s hand, or if it was going to happen anyway and he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but whatever the reason, it slips. And a jet of water starts to spray out of where it was. Soaking everything around it. Including Harry. He splutters and stumbles back, but it’s too late. His hair is plastered to his forehead, and his white shirt has become see through. He looks down, assessing the damage, and then stares back at you two helplessly. 

“Great. I’m soaked.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock.” Val tries to stifle her laughter, but doesn’t do a very good job at it. After a few beats, you can’t help but to join in. After everything that’s happened, the emotional rollercoaster you’ve been on of stress and mortification, it feels good just to laugh. 

Harry stares at the two of you for a few more seconds in mock annoyance, before he also can’t help but join in. Soon enough, the three of you are in stitches over just how ridiculous the situation actually is. 

As your laughter dies down, the sound of dripping catches all of your attentions. Your eyes fall to the place that had previously been spraying out water. It had died down so it wasn’t spraying, but there was still a steady, albeit thin stream of water coming out. 

“Our water bill is going to be through the roof after this.” Harry doesn’t sound mad, more like he’s just making commentary, but you feel guilty anyways.

“I’m so sorry guys. I’ll foot half the bill. And I can pay for the repairman-”

 Val cuts you off. “Don’t be stupid. This is just as much my fault as it is yours. More so, even.”

“No but still, I should pay for-”

“(Y/N).” It’s Harry that cuts you off this time. “Seriously. Don’t worry about it. This is our apartment, our bills.” His voice holds a warm tone you’ve never heard from him, and it’s enough to make you pause for a moment. 

“Please guys, let me pay for at least half the water bill and half the repairman. It’s only fair.”

“There’s two of us and one of you. How is that fair?” You throw up your arms in exasperation. You already knew how stubborn Val could be, you just didn’t realize how much Harry shared that trait. “Okay, fine. One third the water bill, one third the repairman. Please guys. I’m literally begging you.”

They glance at each other seeking silent confirmation and share a knowing smirk. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say they were teasing you.

“Okay, fine.” Val relents. “One third the water bill, one third the repairman.”

You heave a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

Val smiles at you. “Ok, I’m going to go find the repairman’s number. There’s one on the fridge, right Harry?” Harry nods in affirmation, and Val heads out the door, pulling out her phone in the process. 

Then it’s just you and Harry. His wet shirt clings to his body, showing off his sculpted figure. You had always noticed he was objectively good looking, but now, with his body practically on display in front of you, you had a newfound appreciation for his looks. 

“If I knew you were that keen on paying, I would have started coming out with you guys a long time ago.” “Hm?” Harry’s voice snaps you out of the trance you didn’t know you were in. He raises his eyebrows at you. Shit. He definitely caught you staring. 

You quickly try to divert the subject. “So the only reason you weren’t coming out with us was because you’re a cheapskate? And here I was thinking you just didn’t like me.” You try to joke, but it falls flat as his expression turns serious. 

“You thought I- Oh God. I’m an idiot.” He shakes his head.

“Well what else was I supposed to think, what with you avoiding me and all.” You try to keep your tone light, but even you can hear the accusatory undertones slipping in. You hadn’t thought you were bitter, but now facing it head on, you realize you might carry a bit of resentment. 

“I never avoided you.” You give him a look. “Okay, maybe I avoided you a little bit. But it wasn’t-” He cuts himself off. “(Y/N), I’m so sorry I gave you that impression. I never meant to make you think I didn’t like you.”

“Well, it’s hard to draw any other conclusions when you get avoided,” you laugh self-deprecatingly. 

“I know. And you’re right. I’m sorry. I never really thought about it that way.” You lift your gaze to hold his steadily. You want an answer, and you intend on getting it. “Then why did you avoid me?”

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I-” He glances at you, and seems at a loss for words. You look at him expectantly, waiting patiently for him to talk. He sighs again. “Look. You deserve an explanation. But it might take a second, and I’m,” he gestures down at himself. “I need a shower. And a change of clothes. And I need to gather my thoughts. Can we talk after?”

It’s not the answer you expected or wanted, but you nod. The disappointment must show on your face though, because Harry grabs you hand before you can turn away. “(Y/N). I promise after I shower I’m all yours.” His eyes meet yours again, but this time there’s a heat behind them that wasn’t there before. You’re pretty sure this is the longest conversation you’ve ever had with him, and the most amount of physical contact as well. All at once, it’s slightly overwhelming. Your voice seems stuck in your throat, so instead of responding you just nod. He gives you a slight smile, and with that, he’s brushing past you, out into the hallway, and you’re left standing in the laundry room, wondering what the hell just happened.

You still feel a bit dazed 15 minutes later, as you’re sitting on the couch in the living room when you hear the shower shut off. You quickly close the app you were playing around with on your phone as you glance up. Harry emerges in only a towel wrapped around his waist. He’s like a vacuum for your eyes, drawing them towards him so you can’t possible look at anything else. He stands there, neither of you saying anything until – 

“You have three nipples?” 

He blinks, seemingly caught off guard, before his brain catches up with what you said. “Huh? Oh, four actually.” 

“What? No way,” you gasp.

“Uh-huh,” he nods. “See look – one, two, three, four,” He counts, pointing them all out individually. 

“I didn’t even know that was a thing people had.” 

“Yeah, well, I’m unique like that.” He grins at you, and you roll your eyes, even as a smile breaks through on your lips. 

“Are you going to get dressed, or are we having the talk like this?” You ask.

“Oh, right. I’m just gonna-” he points vaguely in the direction of his room and stumbles off. He emerges a minute later, in a tee-shirt and sweatpants. It’s an outfit you’ve seen him in a million times before, but this time, it hits different. 

“Ok, ready to talk?” You ask. 

He fidgets with the hem of his shirt. “Um, actually, there’s something I think I need to talk about with Val first.”

You give him a pointed look. “Harry.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. It’s just part of my explanation involves something having to do with her, and it wouldn’t be right of me to tell you without asking her first, and-” You cut him off by holding your hand up. 

“Ok. Fine. Just make it quick, please.” 

He looks relieved. “Yeah, of course. I’m really sorry again.” He turns around as talks, speaking to you over his shoulder, and promptly almost runs into the door frame. He shoots you one last embarrassed look, as he heads out in the direction of Kate’s room. You laugh and shake your head as you pick up your phone to reopen your game.

It’s about half an hour later when Harry comes back into the living room. You glance up at him, unimpressed, and he winces at your expression. “I’m sorry it took so long, I just had to explain some things to her.” “You’ve been apologizing an awful lot lately, Harry.”

“I know. Hopefully I won’t have to after this.” He crosses the room to take as seat next to you on the couch. He tucks one foot under his knee, so he can turn his body to face you. In response, you curl up and face him as well. 

He takes a deep breath. “Okay. There’s a lot I have to say, and quite honestly I’m really nervous about it, so I would really appreciate if you would hear out my whole story before saying anything.” You nod in agreement, and he takes another deep breath before starting.

“I want to start by saying I’m sorry.” “I thought you said you wouldn’t apologize anymore.”

“I thought you said you wouldn’t interrupt me.” He fires back. You blush, and gesture for him to continue.

“I am, sorry, is the thing. I handled the situation entirely wrong. Looking back, it’s super obvious that the way I handled it made me seem like an asshole.”

“I didn’t think you were an asshole.” Harry gives you a look. “Right, sorry, shutting up now.” 

A half smile takes over his face, smoothing out his previously serious features. “I did seem like an asshole. It was only because I didn’t want- No wait. Okay. Let me start from the beginning.

“I knew who you were before we met. Val had told me about you. I met Val about a month after you met her, and at that point, she had a crush on you. That’s what I had to go talk to her about just now. She told me her crush faded right after that, and she thought I knew, but I thought that she liked you all this time. I knew you guys had dated other people, but I guess I thought that she was waiting for you or something? And then that one time I walked in on you guys, I just assumed that you had finally gotten together.”

“Harry.” His eyes snap up to yours. “I’m sorry, I know you said no more interruptions, but Harry, I already knew Val liked me. She told me as soon as she got over it. That’s why we started, y’know.”

He stares at you. “What- you mean- oh come on. Val conveniently forgot to mention that bit. I swear to God, that girl just wants to watch the world burn sometimes.” You stifle a giggle. Sounds like something Val would do. She likes to make Harry squirm.

Harry shakes his head. “Okay. Right. Anyways,” He pauses. “Do you remember the first time we met? When the three of us went for coffee?” You nod your head in affirmation. “The first time I saw you, I thought you were the most gorgeous girl I’d ever seen.” Your eyes widen in surprise, but you don’t say anything. “You made me shy and nervous, which had never happened before, and hasn’t happened since. And then we had that conversation about music – remember you told me you wanted Stevie Nicks to be your sugar mama?” 

You nod, smiling. “You said you wanted her to be yours too.”

“Right yeah. Basically, I was a goner after that. But I thought Val liked you, and me and Val had just started becoming really good friends, and I really liked her, and I didn’t want to do anything to mess up the friendship. I told myself it was just a crush and I’d get over it soon, but well,” He spread his hands. “I never really did. And then I thought if I distanced myself, it would go away. But that didn’t work either. Also, when I like someone, I’m like, really obvious about it. And I didn’t want Val to know, so again, distancing myself seemed like the obvious choice. And in hindsight, it was a really bad idea, because it makes total sense that you’d interpret it as me not liking you. So. Here we are. I don’t not like you. Pretty much the opposite.”

“Sooo,” Your eyes sparkle. “What I’m hearing is. You have a crush on me.” 

Harry groans and drops his face into his hands. “Oh God, I’m seriously starting to regret it. You’re just as bad as Val.”

“We’re best friends for a reason.” You pause. “What does Val think of all this?”

Harry smirks. “I’d say she seems fine with it. If I remember correctly, she said something along the lines of ‘go get that pussy, you oblivious dickhead.’”

You laugh. “Sounds like something she’d say. I hope this doesn’t mean you’re expecting to get in my pants, Styles.” 

He grins. “Wouldn’t dream of it, (Y/L/N). Not yet at least. Was thinking of taking you on a date first.”

That makes you pause. “A date, huh.”

“Yeah,” he says, looking bashful all of a sudden.

You pretend to think about it. “Would you avoid me the whole time?”

He groans as you burst into laughter. “God. You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”

“Probably not,” You agree. 

“Well fine. If it’s like that, maybe the washing machine will take you on a date instead.”

You gasp. “That’s a low blow, Styles.”

He smirks at you, and you reach over to shove at his shoulder. Before you make contact however, he catches your hand, and uses it to pull you closer to him. He glances down at your lips and then tilts his head, a silent question. You answer by leaning in. But before your lips can touch, the sound of the door slamming breaks you two apart. You look over to see Val in the doorway. 

“Well isn’t this awfully cute. Harry, I never thought you’d go for my sloppy seconds,” she laughs. 

Harry stares at her, then looks at you, then back at her, and then back at you. “Please, pleasehold that thought. I’ll be right back; I just have a roommate to kill.”

“Be my guest. She’s most ticklish at her waist.”

Val’s eyes widen. “No Harry, you know I’m too ticklish – ARGH,” she cuts herself of with a scream as she runs off as Harry launches himself off the couch after her. 

~*~

PLEASE i loved this okay 🥺🥺 bi!reader rights babey!!!!!!!!!! we love 2 see it!!!! i think my fav part was val calling harry an oblivious dickhead nsfjdnsjnsn bc honestly he rly is. i think this was very well done and i just wanna say thank u for following me for so long!!! like damn you’ve been here a while huh……………..i luv u. amazing job babes!

[luthien-t]

The Sun Will Shine. (Chapter 5)

Summary: Thanos invaded the asgardians ship & Thor called for back up. Being a liable paramedic, you gather your tools and went to space. You end up being injured during battle but Thanos was defeated, what will you do when you find out your lover, Loki suffered more than just a few battle scars? But then again, no one is ever really gone.

Chapter Summary: You followed the signs to where Loki promised to be there waiting for you, after a month and a half of searching, will you finally reunite with your love?

warning: very sad-ish

wordcount: 2.6+K

A/N: Hellooo, yes I know this story is going way too slow even for my liking, but I just dont know where it will go after a certain scene, but if anyone has any ideas or even how they think it will end, please tell me, I could use some inspiration here, Happy reading!!

You grabbed your laptop to check the current weather for the location Loki wrote for you, to prepare yourself for the trip you’re about to go to. You also stumbled upon your email and it was flooded with messages from Tony, sending you emails for any meeting and any party they were having. It made you frown knowing that he is still trying to include you as if you’re still there around them, you bit your lips and read through every single one of them, in some emails he was just checking up on you and asking about your whereabouts and checking if you’re doing okay and a certain email was talking about Bruces birthday today and they’re having a party to celebrate, you sighed as you started typing about how your last month was like, what you were doing and how difficult it was to decipher the journal. You still left out the details about Dr strange and the answers you found, you decided that you will tell him when you head back at the tower with Loki. 

You sent the email and got out of bed, checking the time, you knew you had an hour to go see Stephen before the time you both agreed on. You got ready and headed towards the Sanctum, you were more than ready for this search to end.

“Are you ready?” Strange stood in front of you, waiting for your respond so he can open a portal for you. 

You sighed softly and nodded, watching him as he moved his hands in a circular motion for a portal to open next to you. You take one last glance at him before smiling and going through. 

“Two hours! You have two hours before I come and get you two!” He smiled while pointing a finger at you. You nodded happily at the mention of ‘you two.’ 

“See you in two hours!” You waved at him before walking forward and away from the portal before he closes it behind you. 

The snow was piling around your feet, it wasn’t deep but it was enough for you to hear the crunch with every step you take, you look around you, it was quite, empty and peaceful, the sun just started rising in Ice Land and the horizon was beyond beautiful, you start to understand why Loki chose this place out of all the places you had on your list, he always talked about how landscapes like this remind him of Jutonheim, and he always fit perfectly around the snow, even sometimes if it was cold enough, his blue would start to show and glow softly under the sunlight, defining every curve on his skin. 

You found a large rock that resembled a chair and sat on it, counting the time in your head. 

55 minutes, 56 minutes, 57… 

Almost an hour past and no sign of Loki, you start to wonder if you misunderstood anything from the journal and cursed yourself for not bringing it with you. Maybe he meant 10AM Ice Land time? Or maybe he meant 10PM? You kept waiting and waiting and your negative thoughts kept growing and growing. Is it possible that Loki wrote that journal and forgot? Or just simply, is it possible that his plan actually failed? Maybe he really is gone? Maybe this was all to distract me and stop me from mourning for him because he always told me to move on if something does happen to him. You shook your head and look around, you heard a rustling sound and turned your head towards it with a smile. 

“Took you long enough” Your smile fell flat when you noticed that it was Stephen looking at you through the portal he just opened from his side of the world. 

“It’s been 2 hours, y/n.” He said with a frown on his face, he must have noticed that you are still sitting alone with no one around you. You shake your head as tears start to threaten to fall. “No, Steph, we have to wait a bit longer, maybe he meant a different time” You look away from him and wipe your face from the cold tears falling down your cheeks. 

“It’s okay, y/n.” He sighs quietly and walked through the portal to you, a blanket in his hands. “It’s time to let go.” He wrapped the blanket around you and helped you get up on your feet, you wanted to protest, to stand your ground and to not leave until Loki decides to stop playing this stupid game. You were starting to get angry. “This is stupid. Why did you agree on doing this with me?” You look up at Stephen and he shrugs. “Because I believed you, but Loki proved us both wrong” He said as he helped you step through the portal before closing it behind him. 

Unbeknownst to you, Loki was there and was waiting for you there, he was beyond happy seeing you again, you still look the same, you still took his breath away, after two months of not seeing you he was ready to run towards you but seeing Dr Strange helping you with his teleporting stopped him from moving from his spot behind the rock. He never wanted to drag any of the Avengers with you, no one was supposed to know about this but you, if anyone knew he was still alive, words will reach Thanos minions and it will backfire at you, they will use you as bait to drag him back to where he was before New York happened. He had to find a way to leave, he never meant for it to be like this, he only wanted to reassure you that he is fine and maybe ask you to leave this planet with him, he misses you and wants you back in his life, but he can’t risk anything when people still want him dead. He decided to teleport back to his hiding place and hope that one day you two will be reunited again.

You feel stupid, you feel like the world was pressing around you and it was getting harder to breath, the reality of Loki being gone was finally starting to hit you and you finally understand that this was always a game to Loki, he never wanted you to mourn, he never wanted you to feel bad about him being gone, he only did this to entertain you. But at what cost? You were ignoring the people who were looking out for you while hiding in some apartment, and you dragged Stephen with you on a ridiculous treasure hunt. 

“I feel like a child.” You say as you sit down on the chair and look up at Stephen. 

“You’re not. He was the God Of Mischief. Of course he would refuse dying without one last game.” He sat on the chair opposite of you and handed you a cup of tea. 

He was the God Of Mischief.

It was all coming down on you, the realisation that he really is gone. All of your hard work is just thrown out of the window. You’ve learnt Juton for nothing and you’ve learnt Asgardian for no reason, and you were going back to the Tower empty handed, defeated. 

You drank your tea in silence as you stared out the window, it was beginning to rain, in the middle of June, how ironic. 

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Stephen interrupted your thoughts, you turn your head towards him and shrug with a weak smile on your face. 

“I can’t really avoid the inevitable, there is nothing left to do but move on.” You sigh and suddenly get up. “I’m gonna head back home to move back to the tower.” You look down at him and he nods. “Thank you, Stephen, for everything. You helped me with more than you can imagine, I learn a new thing every time I come into this Sanctum” and with that he smiled up at you and nodded again. “I’m glad for doing so, now if you are going to the Tower, I guess I will be seeing you tomorrow for Bruces party?” You chuckle softy and nod before walking towards the door. 

“Guess I’ll be seeing you tomorrow” You bow your head and leave to go back to your apartment. 

You unlocked the door and headed to your room, the window was open and there was a crow standing on the edge of the frame, you raise an eyebrow and move your way towards the crow slowly. “Hey there little guy” You said in a singsongy voice, you grab the closest thing to you to shush the crow back out of the window. 

“I am not in the mood.” You say to the crow and wave a book towards it to leave the room but it wont budge, did not even flinch. You sigh and sit on the bed. “Whatever, I am leaving this place so the landlord will have a talk with you.” You say as you shove everything back in your bag, you never unpacked your stuff because you were too busy with the journal you had, so distracted by the game that you forgot about your actual life for a minute. 

You grabbed everything that was yours and left the room, the crow was still standing this with his held tilted at you, watching you as you were watching him. You were confused as to how a crow can be so calm around humans but shrugged it off and left. You have bigger things to focus on than some random crow. You have to head back to the tower and go back to your normal life. You can’t keep getting distracted by every little thing anymore. It is time to move past this. 

Your walk back to The Tower was quite, the rain stopped long before you left the apartment and your shoes were wet from the water on the pavement, you feel defeated and the weight of Loki being gone kept hitting you harder and harder with every step. You reached the tower and went straight to the elevator. You sighed happily when no one entered the elevator with you and pressed on the button to the living area you shared with the team. 

The elevator door opened and you were greeted by Tonys back while he was busy ordering people on where to put the cake and rearranging the furniture. You walked towards him and cleared your throat. “Oh thank goodness Pepper you’re back, can you he-“ His sentence was cut short when he turned around and saw you. 

“Y/n!” He smiled wide and walked towards you. You smiled lightly. 

“We’ve missed you” He wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace and kissed the top of your head. “How have you been?” He mumbled against your head. His question wasn’t supposed to hurt you like this but it did, you tighten your hug and buried your head in his shoulder, you can’t say he was shocked by the sudden tightness but he held you closer and sighed, as if he understood the words you couldn’t say. You wanted to pull away and apologise but you simply couldn’t let go. You needed this.

“You were right.” You mumbled against his shoulder and nodded. “I know, kid. Don’t beat yourself, you needed this to get your closure.” He said as he rubbed your back. You did not notice your tears but the dampness of his shirt under your breath gave it away to you, causing you to pull away and sniff. “Oh god I’m sorry” you say as you pat the wet patch on his shoulder and let out a small chuckle, he just watched you with a smile. “I’m just glad you’re back, y/n.” He said before pulling away from you. “Everyone is currently busy and getting the place ready to party! You don’t have to join if you don’t feel like it” He reassures you and you shake your head. “I’ll be fine, besides, I’ve missed you guys and a party never hurt no one” You say and pull your bag up, waving at him to get back to what he was doing and head back to your previous quarter. 

You can’t say you’re exactly happy to get back to this place, it was still filled with memories of Loki, but you knew that in order to move on you have to face it. Opening the door, you walk into the room and Lokis smell immediately invaded your lungs, everything is exactly where it was since you left a month and a half ago. You sigh deeply and head to the curtains, sliding them for the sun to enter the room, everything had a layer of dust on it and you have a lot of cleaning to do, you look around not sure what to do with Lokis stuff, you know that you are going to keep some of it but you also cant hold on to everything if you want to move on. 

tap, tap, tap. 

You hear a tapping noise on the window and turn your head towards it, there he is again, that crow from the apartment, you raise your eyebrows and walk to the window, approaching the crow slowly. “How-“ you were interrupted by someone opening the door and calling your name, looking back at the door you see Thor and smile widely before glancing quickly back at the window and the crow was gone, you sigh quickly and put your thoughts aside to go greet him. 

“Thor!” you yelped as he gave you one of his famous tight hugs.

“It’s so good to see you, Lady y/n!” He pulled away to look down at you and you smile at him, your smile slowly fading as you notice his beard grew longer than he likes and his eyes were framed with dark circles, you frown and cup his face. “What have you been doing to yourself, Thor?” you say in a soft whisper and he smiles slightly to you. 

“I’m doing fine, you shouldn’t worry, I came from New Asgard as soon as Tony informed me that you’re back in the tower” He pulled away and sat on your bed, avoiding your eyes. 

“That quickly?” You chuckle.

“Well, thanks to Tony and Bruce, we discovered a new way to create a portal similar to the one we had in asgard before, you know…”

You sighed and sat next to him, you start feeling selfish for leaving him to mourn and suffer his brothers loss on his own, you were so busy and distracted by that stupid journal that you forgot that not only did you lose your love, but Thor also lost his brother. You rest a hand on his knee. “I’m sorry for everything, I should’ve checked up on yo-“

“Nonsense! I know you’ve been looking for him, I know how my brother can be sometimes.” He chuckle and looks down at you.

“But I didn’t..” You look up at him with tears in your eyes. “I didn’t find him, Thor. You were right, everyone was right, and I’m sorry.” 

“Lady y/n, It’s all right, what matters is that we’re all here now. We have to celebrate Hulks birthday!!” He tries to change the subject and got off the bed. “We will be seeing you in the party, correct?” He bows his head so he is at eye level with you and smiles, you nod at him and get up. “Yes, I’ll be there, I promise” You smile and watch him leave the room. 

Your eyes couldn’t help but drift back to the window, and as if on time, the crow flew back again, standing on the balconies grill behind the window and it hits you. 

“Loki..?”

[seriouslyhooked]

When We Collide (Part 3)

Emma Swan has always known one thing: trust no one but yourself. Unfortunately she forgot her one rule and now she’s paying for it. One bad decision led her to the monstrous ‘Crocodile’ a mobster in New York who goes by the name Gold. Hope seems lost until she meets another person in this underworld, Killian Jones. Despite the place they find each other, a true love blossoms, and they manage to get away. But what will happen when Emma discovers who Killian really is? Will love prevail? Um, yeah, I’m writing this, so duh – it’s all love all the time. Fic features motorcycles, hot guys in leather cuts, and a bit of action/drama. Will end happily, and despite the first chapter, will be light on angst. Part 1, Part 2. Available on FanFiction Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hey everyone! So we are back again for another installment of this new fic, and I have to admit it’s been so fun to write this. It’s a strange new tone for me, but I’m trying to marry my love for fluff, and the intrigue/peril of this story that my muse dreamed up. There’s much more to come, but I am also trying to keep chapters shorter this go around. I definitely will end up with more than the 12 I was planning originally, but just in terms of pacing, it’s a changeup to have the shorter chapters that I use to have. Anyway, regardless of length, I hope you will enjoy this installment, which shows Emma and Killian post-Gold while also providing a flashback too. Can’t wait to see what you all think, and thank you so much for reading!

Five days into their drive towards destiny, and Emma was really starting to wonder – how far away was home exactly?

Okay to be fair, she knew where they were headed – a tiny town not far from Big Sur, clear across the country from Gold and his crew. Killian had told her as much weeks ago, but only when he was certain they wouldn’t be overheard. She loved the idea of California, never having been there herself, but she didn’t really account for how long it would take to travel that many miles. They rode and rode every day, but they could be traveling further if Killian would let them. She tried to tell him as much, but he disagreed. Responding every time with thoughtful things that made her heart melt a little more:

“I won’t risk you hurting, love. Not when you are everything, my heart and my soul.”

“You may not realize it yet, but the road can be unforgiving. Best to take it easy, especially when the cargo is as precious as you.”

“Please, Swan, let me have this. Let me take care of you. Trust in me, Emma – I promise, I won’t ever let you down.”

At every stage of this journey Killian had put her comfort first, which was wild since they were really on the run. Still Killian treated this like it was a trip to be remembered, instead of one to be rushed through. Emma was amazed at the places they’d been staying, and how each one was out of the way while still being beautiful and well-kept. They never stayed anywhere too populated, always choosing local hideaways over hustle and bustle or household names, but every place had its own organic beauty and charm. They explored these little safe havens, talking and loving and living together, and every stop along the journey, Emma felt the weight of her fear ease away. The further they got from New York the freer she felt that she was. And the thought of her freedom was so perfect, especially if she could spend that freedom with a man she loved as fiercely as Killian.

“What’s put that smile on your face, love?”

Killian’s words washed over her at the same time his arms wrapped around her, hugging her from behind. She closed her eyes and let out a happy sigh, loving the fresh air and the hum of the natural world around them on the balcony at this little bed and breakfast they’d happened upon. They had ‘the best room’ in the house, which was to say a stand-alone cottage at the back of the inn, and it felt private and peaceful and perfect.

“Just this guy,” she teased, loving the growl that Killian released. Leave it to her man to get jealous over nothing. There were no men in her life like him, certainly none that mattered, and he knew that. Still it was fun when he got all worked up, and the vibrations of the grumble he’d let out mixed with his roaming hands made her body tense in the most pleasurable way.

“Ah, anyone I know?” Killian joked, nuzzling into her neck and laying a kiss on her skin that made her shiver. Unable to resist, she spun around in his arms and melted into him, her hands resting on his chest.

“Hmm, it’s hard to say. You see not a lot of people know him – the real him. He’s mysterious that way.”

“And you?” Killian asked, his voice taut with sincerity as he dropped the charade. “Do you feel you know me?”

Looking into his eyes, Emma saw how important this question was to him. After years of hiding himself in darkness, working with Gold and other evil, vile people, Killian was wary of himself and his worth. She saw the doubts that he carried, the worry in his heart, but she knew this man completely. Honestly, she’d known there was more to him from the start. Something honest and real. But if she’d still needed convincing that he was good and true and kind underneath it all, he’d handed it to her in one perfect, thoughtful moment that sealed the deal and stole her heart…

And there it is:  I, Emma Swan, am officially homeless. Again.

The weight of that knowledge cut Emma to her core. For years she had worked day in and day out to claw herself into something resembling stability. After years in her foster homes, and more on the street and living in her car, it meant everything to her to have a place, a real place, to call her own. In fact, it meant so much to her that she’d paid up front to her landlord. She didn’t want to risk him looking for new tenants, so she always paid promptly and in full. This time she’d actually taken it further, giving three whole months rent, just before this all went down. Her landlord was grateful, but still clear with her – just because she paid up front, didn’t mean he’d accept late payments. And now she was late. A full month behind, and just entering the window for eviction. When the clock struck midnight, she’d passed the final day. Her home would now be vacated, cleared out, and everything she owned would be tossed, sold, or stolen.

The reason she knew how this would all go was because she’d seen it many times. Her building was filled with people who for, whatever reason, could not pay the bills. As such, a number of them had been evited, and always with the same cold, calculated precision. The landlord didn’t even show himself. He hired workers to clear it all and used the cops to intimidate people into leaving. It was awful, but it was life. And now it was her life. Damn it, why the hell was this her life?

“Yo, blondie, you gonna get us our beers, or you gonna keep staring at the clock some more?”

The rude call from one of the patrons snapped Emma back into the moment, and she fought tooth and nail to force the tears in her eyes from falling. She had yet to let these men see her pain, and she would die before she ever did. As badly as this hurt, as agonizing as this was, she couldn’t let it show. She had to keep moving, keep going, and just remember that the most important thing was to survive.

The next few hours were all a blur of rowdy miscreants and a lot of ballsy drunks. The worst part, though, was that Killian wouldn’t be by. He mentioned to her the last time he was in that he was going on a run. He’d be out of town for some time, and wasn’t supposed to be back until the end of the week. She’d only known him for a little while now, but it was a disappointment when he didn’t stop in. Seeing him made all the difference in her day. He kept the savages at bay, and though they both did their best to be discrete, she felt his presence, sensed his eyes on her any time they could be, and savored every moment when he came close, asking for a drink or paying his tab at the end of the night.

Thinking of those good moments ultimately got her through the rest of her shift, and through some kind of small mercy, Sydney let her out a half an hour earlier than he normally would. She was excused from after-hours clean up, and for once she took the out, rushing upstairs, hoping to get away from everyone and everything. She reached for her keys, as she came down the hall, but her door was open as she got closer and immediately her guard went up. No way in hell she’d left this door open. She was always meticulous about keeping it shut. Then there were footsteps inside and she looked in to see the one man she’d been missing most of all.

“Killian?” she asked, shocked at seeing him as she raced inside. How was he back so soon? And what was he carrying in that cardboard box? Wait, was that…?

“Emma, love, you’re early,” he said, looking totally caught off guard at her entrance. “You’re shift’s never over at this time. You’ve usually got -,”

“That’s my stuff,” She said interrupting him.

“Aye,” he said, looking defeated. “Well it’s what I could salvage any way.  As soon as I heard, I tried to get back sooner, Emma, I swear I did. But by the time I made it, so much was already gone. This was all I could save.”

Emma reached to the item on the top of the box, the one thing she actually cared about – her blanket, emblazoned with her name, and still bearing the same scent of honeysuckle and an ocean breeze that it always seemed to have. It was like magic, that smell, imprinted on the woven bands that made this knitted shrug as long as she could remember. No matter where it was or what it had seen, the smell always remained, comforting her, and making her believe that it must have been crafted with love. It was a sign to her that there had been people who loved her, for however brief a time, and this was their one precious gift to her.

“I’m so sorry, Emma. If I had known this was happening… I tried to reason with your landlord, to pay off what’s due just to buy you more time but -,”

Dropping the blanket back into the box, gently, Emma pulled the cardboard compartment from his hands and tossed it onto the couch beside them. Then she stepped into Killian’s arms, cupping his face, and kissing him surely. There was no other way for her to make him see how much this meant to her. No words could be uttered, no thanks could be shared. All it took was a single second for him to be there with her, holding her close, wrapping her up in a warm embrace that made her feel whole when for so long she was broken. It was transcendent, so much more than just a kiss, and when they finally broke apart to breathe, Emma looked at him and saw the heat and the care and the goodness in his eyes. She knew then that she trusted him. That he was honorable and true, despite the line of work he was in, and that she was scarily close to falling for him, in a total and irrevocable way.

“I can’t believe you did this. No one’s ever cared, I mean, no one even thought…” Emma felt tears threatening again, and she closed her eyes. Unbidden, they fell, and then she felt Killian’s thumb swipe them away as he came to hold her. She opened her eyes again, and smiled through the little bit of crying. “Thank you, Killian. Thank you so much.”

“You deserve the whole world, Emma,” he said, staring at her so intently, a battle going on in his mind that she couldn’t quite read. “Fuck me, just one more taste.”

He growled out the words and pressed his lips to hers again, this time taking things even further than before. This was a kiss of hunger, of passion, of wanting. It was a spark that flared brightly, a flame catching into a burning fiery force, and she loved it. She needed this, needed him, and didn’t realize how dulled and cut off she’d been. To get through this she’d been numbing herself, surviving but not living, but in his arms and with this kiss, she felt so alive. More so than she ever had in her life.

Too soon the kiss was over, and this time, when they broke away, Killian straightened, putting a bit of distance that she hated between them. “Much as I might like to take this further, Swan, I can’t. You’re vulnerable still. Reeling from the day, and if we continue…”

“When we continue,” she said boldly, causing him to shake his head even as that wicked, sexy wanting sparked back to life in his blue eyes.

“If we continue, I won’t ever stop. One taste could never be enough, and two will damn near kill me. If I taste you a third time, you’ll be mine.”

“Yours?” she asked, her heart thudding in her chest even as the voice in her head pleaded with her to make that jump.

“Aye, mine. Right now, my world is ugly, Emma. Far too ugly a place for a woman like you. I need to make it better. Need to find some light before I let you in. But I’m only so strong. The next time you kiss me, there will be no turning back. You’ll seal our fates. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Emma whispered.

“Good,” he replied, grabbing his leather jacket, his hands curling into fists as he put it on and made for the door. Then he looked at her, a million things left unsaid between them for a beat until he finally nodded at the door. “Lock up behind me.”

She nodded, and was going to ask him to wait, but she was too slow. He raced out of the apartment, like he was scared to make good on his word, and Emma was left stunned. Her lips still tingling from the feel of him, and her whole body buzzing in kind. She made her way to the door, following his order to bolt everything in place and then she leaned against the wood, pressing her back against the cool paint finish. Her hand came up to cover her mouth, and she looked around the room, her eyes catching on the box once more. Then she smiled and closed her eyes, knowing that the next chance she got she was kissing that man. Consequences be damned – she was going to be his, and she sure as hell hoped he’d be hers in return...

“I don’t feel that I know you, I know that I do,” Emma said honestly, coming back from the memory and into this moment with Killian once more.  At her words, he let out a sigh of relief and she ran her hand along his jaw. He leaned into the motion, clearly loving the feel of her soft skin against his rough beard, and she wanted to give him that comfort and certainty. “We may not know every little detail about each other yet, but that doesn’t change the way I feel. There are ghosts in our past, and dreams of the future that we maybe haven’t shared, but I know you, Killian. I know you and I love you.”

“Gods I’ll never get enough of that,” Killian said holding her close, before making a heartfelt confession of his own. “And there will never be another woman I love so much as you, Emma. You were it for me the moment I saw you. You’ll be it for me until my final breath.”

“Only until then?” she teased, trying to lighten the mood and laughing when he growled again and pulled her so close they were centimeters away from a kiss.

“You know what happens when you tease me, love.”

“Mhmm,” she said, breathlessly confirming that she did as she licked her lips. She waited agonizing moments for him to kiss her but then he surprised the shit out of her throwing her up over his shoulder and heading downstairs and out towards the lake. She shook with laughter, confused as to what he was doing until they reached the sand and he put her down.

“Loose the dress, Swan. I make no promises on your salvaging it if you leave it to me.” She shivered at the command in his voice. Damn he was hot. Especially when he went all alpha like this. Luckily, they’d been dressed for a possible swim, so she had a newly purchased swimsuit underneath.

Holding his eyes as much as she could, Emma delighted in how focused Killian was on her. But then he returned the favor, losing his shirt and she was lost. She always got dizzy seeing him like this, and that feeling lingered through their swim and as they sprawled out on the dock some time later. Letting the heat of the fading summer sun dry them off, Emma hummed out a sound of contentment. Okay, honestly, this right here was the life. But as that thought went through her mind she shot up, looking all around them suddenly frantic.

“Emma what is it?” he asked, genuine concern lacing his voice.

“We can’t be like this, can we? I mean we’re on the run,” she whispered. “Gold could find us. He could -,”

Killian silenced her with a kiss, thoroughly distracting her before explaining his seemingly lax behavior. “Gold has been successfully brought into custody and is none the wiser of my involvement in his demise. His lieutenants have also all been charged, and the henchmen have gone to ground. The syndicate is bleeding, Emma. There’s no one around to ask questions, and you and I are not the only ones in Gold’s service who’ve made a run for it.”

“How do you know?” Emma asked.

“I have my ways,” he grinned, and she rolled her eyes but smiled all the same. “And don’t think for a second that I’ve made any compromises on your safety. We’re relaxing as we are because I have complete and total confidence in the safety of our stops.”

“What did you do, set up some trip wires or something?”

“Didn’t have to – the whole place has surveillance capabilities set up already.”

“It does?” Emma asked, shocked and Killian laughed.

“Aye, love. Tiana’s special forces.”

“You’re kidding,” Emma said, looking at him for signs of jest. “Wait, seriously?”

“Seriously. Her mother runs the inn when she’s deployed, but this place is a haven of sorts. Most of the places we’ll land over the next week will be.”

“Wait, so you’re telling me there’s like a secret, high tech, military bed and breakfast system scattered across the country?” Killian laughed heartily at that and shook his head.

“Not quite. As you’ll recall, not every place we’ve stayed has been like this. There are simply many, many favors I had to cash in from my days with the SEALs. This is one of them.”

“You’re incredible, you know that?” Emma asked and Killian’s look softened as he held her close.

“I’d be anything for you, Emma.”

“All you have to do is be yourself,” she promised, kissing him sweetly but pulling back just as the kiss was set to begin. He groaned at her absence, and watched with warry eyes as she stood up, moving away from him. With motions so fast and controlled she marveled at them he got up too, never letting too much space between them.

“Change your mind, on something, love?”

“Hardly,” Emma said grabbing her dress and toying with it, but not putting it back on. “I was just thinking…” she said, letting her gaze run down his body as she licked her lips. God he was gorgeous, and time was doing nothing to dull the effect he had on her.

“What were you thinking?” he ground out, moving forward again, but she put her hand up.

“Trust me, honey,” she said, knowing how much the little pet name riled him up.  “Nothing I’m thinking is fit for this place. Way too public. For what I want, we need a bit more privacy.”

“As you wish,” he promised, once again sweeping her into his arms and making her melt against him. And as he carried her away, no doubt towards a night of steamy passion in his arms, Emma felt what it was to be truly happy. For though the road was still uncertain, and their future might not be totally clear, she had faith it would all work out, as long as they had each other and many more moments like this one.

Post-Note: Okay so some of you are no doubt cursing me for not writing out the smut. I know exactly who you are, and let me just say, I have no intention of defending myself. I was mean like this on purpose, but trust me, I’ll make up for it in this fic many times over. In the meantime, I hope that you guys enjoyed this little glimpse into the present and the past. I want to include some memories from their shared from the dark days as much as I can, and from their lives before Gold too, and the only way I know how to interact with that kind of angst, is to wrap it up in present day fluff. Anyway, hope that you all enjoyed, and I appreciate your cheering me on and letting me know what you think. See you all next time!

[lostinaseaoffictionalbliss]

Gonna be a long post. But need to get this out somehow and this is really the only way I know how. Before you guys come at me for what I say, read the whole thing.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. Reflecting as you will and I’ve come to some realizations. But maybe I should start at the beginning of the story.

I was raised as an only child by my dad because my mom was a drug addict. I was bullied constantly for my weight, dressing in boyish clothes, my mom getting arrested, and so on. I suffered for many years with untreated depression and anxiety. I felt I was doomed to be alone forever. So when I got together with my husband and things were good I didn’t want it to end. I was 19 and he was 17 (3 months from turning 18). His mom threatened to have me arrested for statutory rape if I didn’t marry him. Mind you I was terrified of being alone and even though we’d only been together a little over a month I didn’t want things to end. So we got married. Within a very short time things started to look bad. He wasn’t ready for the commitment and would leave me alone for days on end. It hurt and I screwed up by cheating with the one person that was there. We moved past it and things seemed to get better, but then he started to become more and more controlling over the years.

I can’t cut my hair short, has to be at least shoulder length. I’m not allowed to get anymore tattoos than what I already have, nor piercings outside the normal ear piercings. I worked different jobs and tried to save money, but he would always blow it. Every single penny I saved. Eventually the untreated anxiety and depression got so bad that I couldn’t work. I would have such bad anxiety attacks being around people that I would hyperventilate and pass out. I finally saw a therapist and they took me off work. Tried to get disability and was denied. He quit two different jobs because he couldn’t put up with the bs or something. So he says. Until five years ago we lived with my dad which wasn’t good for my health. We had to stay in the basement and the mold as well as mildew was so bad I was constantly sick. Not to mention my mental health was awful because my husband couldn’t get along with my dad and uncle (he also lives in the house).

Well we got HUD and moved out. They pay all our rent and give us a little money each month which goes toward our bills. Food stamps pays for our food and my dad pays the rest of my bills. Something that greatly bothered me, but my health wasn’t in a good enough place to go back to work. Once it was my husband refused to allow me to get a job.

My husband’s family is all Christian. I have no problem with the religion itself. I tried going to church, tried following the religion, but I was never happy there. Though he believes that I felt something. I’m an empath. I felt people’s emotions. So 3 years ago I began doing research and started practicing Norse paganism. I didn’t tell him because I wasn’t sure about it and I didn’t want to start a fight. I became really sure about it this year and also sure about being a witch. I bought me a tarot deck and my mom (I still believe she’s trying to make up for the past) paid $30 to get me this nice tarot book. My husband while I was gone to church (appeasing him and his family) went looking for stuff to trade for cigarettes. He found the book and my cards. Threw them in the trash.

Because I was finally ready to tell him the truth I admitted that I was bisexual. He claims that’s not true. When I told him women I was attracted to he said they look manly and said that I’m not bisexual at all. He then started going off that he doesn’t want me writing smut (something we’d discussed before) nor does he want me RPing it. He threatened to break my phone if I was doing stuff he doesn’t like.

I want to leave so bad. I love him and a part of me always will, but I’m tired of it. The only problem is I have no money. And before you say well you bought stuff for cosplay, I didn’t technically. My mom sent me money on Amazon and that’s how I bought my cosplay stuff. And because HUD is for both of us if I divorce him I won’t have a way to pay my rent. “Move back in with your dad,” you say. Well my cousin who was completely homeless moved in and is now in my old room. Plus he wouldn’t let me bring my pets. Same with my mom. I can’t have the dog there and to be honest Luna is the only thing that keeps me going most days. Same with Little Fluff. The few friends I have ( @musicalmuffindog1410 @saviorgirlstark @deans-baby-momma) don’t live close to me at all. Even if they did I wouldn’t feel right asking for help. I’m not their responsiblility. Nor is my happiness.

Even if HUD would continue paying our rent the moment my landlord found out the reason I left my husband he would evict me. So I really have nowhere to go and no way out. I’m stuck being miserable and don’t know what to do. Sucks that I came to this conclusion today. I had actually had fun at my dad’s celebrating and being able to buy my gifts. Only for it to go down the drain tonight.

[falling-rivers]

Hello all! Here's hoping the holidays have been treating you well. I know I've been pretty radio silent the last few months, and I have a good reason why. I've been going to therapy. I was debating the idea for the last few years, since growing up I was told that employers would be able to see whether you’ve gone to therapy and would outright deny you a job if you had (spoilers: that’s a lie), but there were somewhat connected incidents at the end of August/beginning of September that really set me on the decision to go.

The first being my current job. Its fantastic and I love it. Sure, I have off days and sometimes people are assholes—but I can’t control other people so I just deal with it. The biggest problem is my feet. I stand on my feet, on concrete, for eight hours a day, or more. And all that standing and walking around on concrete did my feet in. They hurt incredibly bad on a daily basis now. I’m pretty sure its plantar fasciitis, but seen as I'm barely making above minimum wage, I can’t afford to have it diagnosed. But I know that my feet hurt, and I do everything in my power to help alleviate any pain after my shifts are over. I had a phone call with my mother around the end of August, where, after she told me, landlord to tenant basically, that I was no longer allowed to paint my room and I needed to clean all of my things out of the garage (since she needed the space despite not living there), she asked how my day was going. And I was honest with her; I told her my feet hurt. Her response wasn’t to sympathize or show any form of normal human emotion. Instead she told me that it was because I was “carrying too much weight.” As in, I weighed too much. And that really hurt, considering I went back to work for the next three hours, held in tears the whole drive home, and fought the idea of how easy it would be to just drive straight off the road on the way home because it would solve all of my problems, because instead of bending over backwards, trying to please her, trying to fit in the mold she’d created for me, trying to gain her praise instead of constant negativity, I wouldn’t exist anymore, so it wouldn’t matter. Just like that, it would all be over. I didn’t, of course. Instead, when I got home, I had come to the conclusion that she wanted me to hate myself. Why, I wasn’t sure. But it was devastating. The one person I'd thought was supposed to help build me up had taken every single opportunity to tear me down instead.

The next incident, the one that really set in motion my decision to stop putting off therapy, came as the result of the wildfires in the pacific northwest. My parents and my brother were staying with us for about a week while they tried to fight the fires themselves, along with community members in my hometown. Mom stayed at the house with my boyfriend and I, and slowly but surely, she became more and more passive aggressive. Combined with my dazed shock at the possibility that my childhood and everything I labeled “safe" could be gone, I snapped one night at her clear passive aggressiveness. The argument that followed devolved into her telling me I had “bad work ethics" for calling out of work when I was so in shock that I couldn’t even drive, let alone answer questions at work—even though I had sick hours to cover me calling out. It also entailed her telling me things to make me believe my boyfriend, who is one of the sweetest, kindest, most patient, and most helpful people I have ever met, who overwhelms me with such sheer joy that sometimes I tear up, who takes care of me and helps in any way he can around the house—including making food for my family and offering to help unload some of the heavier things from their vehicles when they moved things into the house—who was also dealing with dog allergies from Mom's German shepherd, who had to be in the house since he had incredibly awful separation anxiety—she tried to make me believe that he was a horrible person who was rude and snippy when I wasn’t around. Seen as I was already thinking about it over the last few months, I pieced together that she'd found something wrong with every person I'd ever dated—likely because she wanted me to solely depend on her, and any threat to that immature desire had to be cut down, so that no matter what happened, I would always have to turn to her, to tell her news, to share my woes—so she could always bring me down further and make me feel like a bad person. I realized this, and I told her I was done. She replied that she was done, and I said, “you’re done too? Good. Go home.” And I turned around and walked into my boyfriend’s bedroom and broke down crying for almost twenty minutes.

So the reason I'm in therapy. The reason I've been radio silent the last few months more than normal. Is because I have come to the angered conclusion that I need to heal from the things my mother has said to me over the years—about my weight; about my boyfriend, my exes, my friends; about me. None of it has been healthy, and I refuse to let her hold me down anymore like she has.

A few years ago, when I tried to break from it all, I didn’t have the strong support system I have now to back me. I didn’t have the unconditional love and support of someone who truly wants the best for me—I didn’t have enough friends I trusted enough to talk to about this hidden part of my mother that only seemed to poke her head out when I was alone—because after all, if no one else hears her say the things she's said to me, who will believe me when I try to tell others?

But I'm done with it all, and I'm taking steps to gain my independence from her in ways many people likely never had to when they were growing up. But I am breaking free of the manipulation, the hurt, the lies, the slander, all of it. I’m learning to think independently instead of her telling me what to think, or what to say, or what to do. I’m equal parts pissed and spiteful at this whole situation, but I'm made of fire and you know what happens to people who play with fire? They get burnt.

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Secret baby chapter 4

(I broke my laptop so I'm posting this from mobile and cant hide anything under a cut for a short post, sorry.)

“How did it go?” Fuyumi is waiting for him when she gets home, nearly pouncing on him before the door is fully shut. Touya hesitates and he almost tells her the truth. That he’s taking his baby and running as far as he can, that he's going to build a new life, a safe life. But the more people he tells, the more likely Enji will find out. No. It's safer, for everyone, because if Enji suspects that Fuyumi knows anything he'll hurt her, if he just goes. He’s been planning on running away for a long time, it's time he actually did it. For his safety and his baby’s.

“We decided it was best to abort.” He squares his shoulders and looks her in the eye. The same lie passing his lips for the second time. He wishes it was easier this time.That the thought of abortion didn't make his stomach roll and his eyes water. He already loves this child more than anything. The lie is bitter, but the risk of his child coming to harm because he didn't lie is enough to send panic sparking like fire in his heart. 

“Do you want me to come with?” Fuyumi asks and she, well she sounds half relieved and not at all surprised. Touya knows why. Abortion would be the ‘smart’ thing to do right now. 

He doesn't have an alpha to help him.

Or an understanding mother.

Or a father.

He’s a young omega alone ,with a history of bad parenting and anger issues in his family, about to become a pregnant runaway.

Nothing about this is smart, He doesn't care. He’s going to try his damndest to make this work.

“I don’t want to do it alone and I can’t ask the father.” He nods, because while it would be easier to tell her no, he doesn't want her coming, it would also be too far out of character. She'd suspect something was up.

“I thought you both made the decision is he really going to leave you to do this alone?” Fuyumi sits on the edge of his bed, frowning. She's confused… but there's a hint of anger there too, if his alpha had abandoned him to abort their baby alone. Touya isn’t allowed to make nests so he’d made do with burrowing under his comforter. From what he’s heard a nest is something omega’s make for comfort and stress relief. Most omega’s make one when their instincts tell them they are safe enough. Touya’s never seen Rei have one either. He is going to have to learn for his baby. Maybe there's a library, with those self help books?

“We did. Enji got brought up and he defended him. I don’t want anything to do with him anymore. It was… it was my choice." His voice breaks there, and he doesn't bother trying to hide it.Fuyumi says nothing when he starts crying while cradling his stomach, but her hand rests on his shoulder, and he takes the comfort she offers gratefully. 

She ends up accompanying him to a clinic the next day. He’s told that he’s 4 months along and already has the start of a bump.

He’s got maybe a month before he can’t hide it anymore. He doesn't want to think about what Rei or Enji will say if they notice.

“Has anyone gone over your options with you?” His nurse asks him as she shows him into a private room.

“Kind of and I k-know, that this is dumb,increadibly dumb, but I want to keep them.” He barely gets the words out to the nurse but he does. They sound too quiet. Barely audible. 

“It’s not dumb-” she starts talking in a voice as soft as Touya was using.

“I can’t stay at home and have them, and the father, he thinks I’m getting an abortion.” Touya can’t bring himself to look at the nurse. Staring hard at the floor and trying not to remember the look on Hawks face. 

What if Hawks was here with him instead? He would probably let him hold his hand. Pump out sothing alpha hormones to calm Touya’s fear, like he did after a nightmare. If he wanted to be here at all. If Touya had admitted what he wanted, if Hawks hadn’t told Enji in excitement and gotten him killed or worse at home.

He can’t face Hawks’s anger if he goes back and comes clean. It does no good to wish for something else; he can’t risk his baby now.

“You’ve got a couple weeks until you start showing. We can help you. Does the young lady that came with you know that you're keeping your baby?” The Nurse started looking through some papers on the wall and putting them into a folder. She phrases it like Touya can have anything he wants. Says he’s keeping the baby just because he said he wanted to.

They talk some more about Touya’s options. Adoption is brought up and Touya hesitates but it's not what he truly wants. He turns adoption down and lets himself start believing he can keep his baby. The clinic manages to fit him in for an ultrasound same day and gives him the news that he’s having a baby girl.

Touya cries at the sight of her. He already loves her.

He’s still crying when he meets Fuyumi back out in the waiting room.

“Are you going to be okay,Touya?” she rubs his back.

 Later she helps him dye his hair black.

“I need a change, to keep my mind off her” is what Touya tells her. It’s the first step in his plan to get as far away as he can.

“Her? You got to find out the gender first?” Fuyumi gives Touya a concerned look.

They are alone again. Natsou getting a librarian's help today in filling out applications for highschools far enough away that he has to board.

Rei hasn’t been in the same room as him except for tense ‘family’ dinners since she had found the tests. Touya had tried to pull her aside for a moment when he came back from the clinic and told her that it was taken care of. She hadn’t responded and Touya hadn’t mentioned it again. He hadn’t spoken to her again.

“Yeah, I was far enough along, 4 months so I would have started showing soon. I asked for an ultrasound so I knew first.” He gives his twin a tiny smile. He wishes he could take his sibling’s with him. Raise his baby with free babysitting and her aunts and uncles doting on her every possible minute. Instead he’s dying his hair black while Enji is gone on business. By the time Enji is supposed to be home he’s going to be gone.

Hair dyed and looking nothing like the Touya Todoroki his father last saw,with his new hair and several new piercings and some baby weight, He gets started on finding an apartment close to the clinic.

He could choose one further but he doesn't want to risk finding a different nurse. Or a clinic as willing to hide him as this one has been. His father's influence can spread far and then nowhere will be safe.

He finds a cheap one with a landlord that doesn't ask too many questions.It takes almost a week and he’s anxious about Enji coming home early the entire time.He lies on the application about everything, starting with his name. The landlord must not have ever checked it over because a week later he’s meeting the building manager in person and being given a set of keys.

He buys small things with enji’s credit card and has them sent to the apartment instead of the house. Rei avoids him and he can’t help but be thankful. She would be able to smell the pregnancy and unlike Fuyumi he wouldn't be able to just brush it off as leftover hormones still, almost a full month later.

“You're still getting sick, Touya” Natsou points out one night. He’s rubbing Touya’s back as he gasps in air over the toilet.

“It’s okay Natsou. I promise I'm okay.” He stands up and flushes the mess . rinsing his mouth out for what feels like the 50th time that day.

“You’d tell me if you were sick right? Like sicker than normal?”

“It’s an omega thing Nat, I’m not sick.” he wraps Natsou in a hug. His younger alpha brother quickly outgrowing him doesn't bother him for once.Fuck. his brother thinks he’s dying and he can't reassure him. Can’t risk his baby girl like that. He cries into Natsou’s shoulder and excuses it as his hormones are out of whack.

Everyone piles into his room that night and sleeps on Touya’s bed. It’s his last night at home and he’s so scared that his scent breaks through his blockers. It happens often enough that the Todoroki siblings take it as a sign that they need to be extra close with Touya. He lays awake most of the night trying to control his breathing and watching over his younger siblings for the last time. He truly doesn't want to leave them with enji but he doesn't have a choice if he doesn't want to lose the baby girl growing inside him to a beating or “training”.

The next morning he skips school for the last time and goes home to grab the bag he’s been adding to for years.

Rei is home of course but she stays in her room. She’s never come out to yell at Touya about skipping school.Touya doesn't bother to seek her out now to say goodbye.

He leaves his house key and factory reset cell phone on the table and walks out for the last time. 

He is never coming back. It’s the hardest thing he’s ever done when he leaves but he does.

He’s ready to leave,or as ready as He’s ever going to be. He can’t hide his baby bump much longer.

The morning he moves into his apartment Touya buys himself a bed and the baby a crib. He almost tries to shove up the apartment stairs himself despite being 5 months pregnant now.

“Wait! Where’s your alpha? Can’t you wait until he gets home to get these up the stairs?”

“Don’t have one.” Tou-Dabi mumbles. Dabi is the name on the apartment lease and what he’s been telling everyone to call him. Dabi with no family name and no family.

“Dabi right? What about friends? There's no way I'm letting a pregnant omega carry stuff up by themselves.” The movers looked shocked that he would have them leave the furniture for him to move himself.

“Unless you two want to carry it up for me i'm just going to have to suck it up and do it myself.” Dabi glares at them. Dabi goes to grab a corner of a box and move it up the stairs himself. 5 month baby belly be damend. Its not like anyone is around to help him, he has to do this himself or it won’t get done.

“Penguin, get over here and help me take this upstairs and put it together. Law will understand and I'll tell him when we get back.” The two movers make quick and easy work out of setting the beds up for Dabi. They not only brought it up for Dabi but had put the beds together for him too. Shachi declines payment for the help and tells Dabi to remember to ask for help.The apartment is finally ready to be home.

@ruelukas22