#I also think he doesn’t do any of this intentionally. doesn’t change the impact but he doesn’t MEAN to cause harm

[hallwyeoo]

Ramble-y analysis (?)of Joel as a protector, and his relationship to this identity and masculinity.

A scene from tlou pt1 that was always really striking to me is Tommy and Joel’s discussion in the dam.

“this is how you’re gonna repay me huh?” “Repay you?” “For all those goddamn years I took care of us!” “Took care? That’s what you call it? I got nothing but nightmares from those years” “you survived because of me!” “Yeah, and it wasn’t worth it.”

Specifically Tommy’s final response there. Acknowledging that even though he did only survive because of Joel, the price of that survival was too high.

Tommy knows joel kept him alive, but also confronts him with the idea that not everyone wants that protection or the consequences of it. Sometimes, the price and consequences of (immediate, haha) survival are ones that the person would rather not deal with!

Both Tommy and Ellie are people who deeply care for Joel and view him as family (Tommy moreso in a traditional kinship relationship and Ellie In more of a fictive kinship, but family nonetheless). Joel is shown to be incredibly driven to protect both of them, even if they may not ask for it. I’d even go as far as to say that in the process of reinforcing his role as protector, he (to some degree, and not consciously I think) has to degrade/undermine their efficacy and autonomy. If Tommy is a grown man who doesn’t need saving or protection, then to play the protective big brother Joel has to place Tommy back into the role of ‘idealistic little brother who gets himself into shit and needs me to get him out’ (which in the game ultimately lead to their separation, which sounded pretty intense)

And to a larger degree (because of the fact that he’s had a daughter before, and he’s very familiar with the power dynamics of a nuclear family father/daughter relationship. Meanwhile Ellie doesn’t fully agree to that and consistently seeks autonomy, equality, and respect within their relationship [“im not her yknow” “I can take care of myself!” Asking for a gun, running off at the dam, etc.] while also understanding that Joel does have years of experience on her and sometimes it’s best to listen to him.) I think Joel does this to Ellie.

In the hospital, the decision he makes robs Ellie of her autonomy. All the while, he knows what decision she would’ve made and exactly how not okay she’d be with what’s going down. (Using only the first game/season1 as a source, Ellie’s resolve right before the hospital paired with Joel’s lie and the implication of their final convo.) This is the shining example to me of Joel’s tendency to just do shit and make choices for other people because it’s ‘what’s best’ in his eyes, while sorta disregarding or ignoring that they probably have their own opinions on what’s best.

While I understand Joel’s actions, when you look at how his protector role makes him overstep boundaries, make choices and calls for others, etc (we will see more of this in s2/pt2 as well) you begin to see how (despite serving him over the years) it has crippled his relationships with others. to protect, someone has to be protected, and they may not want or need that. Both Tommy and Ellie can handle themselves, and while they appreciate Joel’s protection at times, being constantly protected can feel infantilizing, especially when someone takes actions you don’t agree with to protect you or stops you from defending yourself. It can feel that they view you as incapable or helpless.

Joel placing such heavy importance on being a protector, on taking on all the heavy burden, on being the big tough guy leaves him in a rough place when the people around him need him to rely on them or to be protected by them. I think it’s very tied to his identity as a father, older brother, caretaker, and protector. This identity serves a community role, but ultimately an over-reliance on it means that when your community needs something other than violence or physical resources from you, you can’t deliver. When Ellie needs to talk about Henry, Sam, and Tess, Joel shuts her down. When Tommy says “I have a family now”, Joel brushes past it. Into pt2, we see Joel slowly accept that this urge isn’t the best, although it still happens with Seth etc etc etc.

Imo, his relationship with his identity, masculinity, and emotions end up sometimes creating a resentment or tension between him and the people he cares about.

Tess says in their final conversation,

“Guess what, we’re shitty people, Joel. It’s been that way for a long time.”

And Joel responds,

“No, we are survivors!”

And I think that that is a very good glance into how Joel contextualizes his actions and relates them back to his identity.

I have no idea how to wrap this up but yeah. TLDR: Joel has a habit of forcing his protection onto people, which can put them into situations where they don’t get a say in what goes down. He’s internalized his role as a dad and older brother (but mostly just the “provide physical needs” and “protect” parts, as well as carrying some degree of toxic masculinity with him) and takes pride in it to the point where some of his other skills (like emotional intimacy or vulnerability) have almost atrophied. Both Tommy and Ellie were put in situations where they would have died without Joel, but come out the other side upset that he interfered and removed their say in the matter. What joel views as necessary is not always what others want/need and Joel sorta inserts himself into that equation so that he can protect them (reinforcing his identity) and himself (not lose loved ones).

Also he’s babygirl, thanks for coming to my Ted talk!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Something I’ve noticed across collecting different cards is that Twisted Wonderland seems to have a bit of a skew in which characters get character x player ship bait. Between events and card lines, some characters look like they are getting neglected in the ship teasing category. Is there some kind of popularity bias behind this? Like maximizing profit or game popularity by targeting certain groups of fans among the fandom?

Mmm… I haven’t noticed a skew, personally. If there is one at all, I’d wager it isn’t significant and it’ll probably depend a lot on what point in time you’re evaluating at. Since TWST is consistently releasing new content, the voice lines are sure to “even out” eventually if given enough of a waiting period. For example, you could say that the GloMasq boys have “more” bait lines… until Playful Land boys were released the year after, thus leveling the playing field.

All cards have character x player ship bait to some degree. Most of them will have at least 1-2 lines which involves complimenting you/your look (and if not in the card lines, then directly in the event, especially when Yuu has changed into a new outfit), Yuu touching them in some way (or being invited to), or asking Yuu to hang out or to do an activity with them. Everyone gets these lines because there are fans of every character that have spending power; it doesn't make sense to intentionally devote more lines to one while leaving the others starving for content when there are big spenders for all characters (which will vary widely anyway depending on the server too, so there are very few consistent "favorites"). Devoting time and energy to every character is what makes the most profit in the long run, as you risk losing the fans (and money) of "less popular" characters if they don't get new food too. It doesn’t matter that the high spenders for like… Azul stay because they’d still be losing the revenue coming in from Jack stans who dropped the game due to content drought.

I would say that what is and is not categorized as a "shipping bait" line depends a lot on other factors, the strongest of them all being individual perception. For example, if you ship yourself/your Yuusona with the character, you may be more likely to perceive any line spoken by your favorites as "more romantic" than other characters. This feeds into your preexisting expectations, and is therefore a form of confirmation bias. Meanwhile, if you ship two canon characters with one another, there are many more potential combinations so it's less likely that the particular ship you're into will get "bait". Additionally, some people are more liberal with what they perceive to be romantic or not. For example, Ace inviting you out to do something can be seen as both platonic or romantic, based on who is judging the line because there isn’t anything inherently romantic in spending time together. This is also the case in the main story or events; some players see Yuu giving Malleus the VDC/SDC ticket in book 5 as "a date" while others do not. This brings me to another point: character relationships within the main story and their personalities will also have a drastic impact on what is perceived as romantic or not. Rook, for example, speaks in a very flowery manner. Because of this, a majority of his lines could be seen as "bait". Characters that are gruffer (Jack) or "loner" types (Idia) would naturally have fewer inviting lines due to their characters. And again, with Ace, since he is presented as one of Yuu's closest friends in the main story, it's easy to perceive him as a platonic bestie when reading his lines since your friendship is already established.

Lastly, I think it's worthwhile to consider that there are also nuances that are lost in translation between JP and EN, which may alter which lines are seen as "bait" and which aren't. A really popular one I see floating around is Malleus's vignette level up line, which is translated in EN as "You aren’t afraid of me. But I’m starting to become afraid… of losing you.” Many fans perceive this as romantic and often joke that “Malleus missed the meeting about TWST not being a dating sim!” However, this line has a different context in JP which reads as more platonic.

The original Japanese line is お前は僕を恐れない。そんなお前を失うことが僕は恐ろしくなり始めている。This roughly has the same meaning, but the wording Malleus uses seems to specify that he is afraid of losing the Yuu that is not afraid of him. EN omits the そんな (son na) part, which would refer to a type or kind of person (as in, “son na hito”). In this case, Malleus is afraid of losing “the kind of Yuu that is not afraid of him”. So really, the original meaning of the line is that he is expressing a fear of what would happen if his true identity comes to light (as Yuu is the one person who doesn’t know), not that he is afraid of losing Yuu as a whole.

To summarize: it’s up to individual perception and, given enough time, every boy will get their fair share of fanservice for the player.

[writingwithfolklore]

5 Writing Rules I Like to Break

                Listen, I am firmly of the belief that writing doesn’t have rules. There’s no one way to do it—no one schedule or technique or tip that’s going to work for everyone and produce perfect narratives. Which is a good thing! I think if we all had to write exactly the same way, our stories would end up looking very similar.

                So while in general I tend to say throw out any and all rules (and yes, even including the advice I give on this blog if you so desire), here’s 5 common writing rules I specifically and intentionally break, and why:

1. Write what you know

I already talked all about how I tend to ignore this advice here if you’re interested. The TLDR version of it is that you can absolutely write things beyond your scope of knowledge (in fact, I’d guess that’s where the majority of fiction comes from) as long as you write it genuinely—this rule should be instead ‘write what you feel’.

2. Don’t edit as you write

Booo!! Okay maybe it works for some of you—if so, by all means continue (this applies to all the rules I’m about to mention, so just keep that in mind). Editing as I go is how I get back into the swing of things in a new writing session, and also allows me to try a scene a few different times to get the most I can out of it. I tend to believe that words are words even if they’re edited, rewritten, or even deleted.

If your goal is to finish your project as fast as possible, I imagine going back to edit before you’re finished your draft might slow you down. However, I also imagine editing as you go might save you an entire draft. Whatever works for you here is what you should do, but I personally love to edit as I write.

3. Avoid ‘said’

At least I think a lot of you guys are with me when I say that ‘said’ is sometimes just the best word to use. Using lots of descriptive words like, ‘yelled’, ‘begged’, ‘exclaimed’ can be distracting. When the dialogue speaks for itself, the ‘said’ disappears into the background of the scene, while necessary for grammar, it’s a formality for the actual storytelling. As well, I like to experiment with said by adding a descriptor afterwards. ‘Said quietly’ ‘said through a laugh’ ‘said without taking a breath’ etc.

4. Avoid adverbs

Here’s what I’ll say about word usage in general, as long as you pick your words with thought and care, you may use whatever words you want. Words have different specific connotations, and not always will avoiding the adverb have the same impact. For example, changing “he laughed lightly” to “he giggled.” We may have removed the adverb ‘lightly’, but ‘giggled’ holds a completely different connotation. It evokes a sort of immaturity, not unlike the ‘schoolgirl’ stereotype. If we don’t want that connotation, in this case, laughed lightly may be better.

                So don’t count out adverbs for the sake of it. As long as you’re choosing your words with intention and you understand the meaning behind them, you can experiment with a world of adverbs!

5. Never use passive voice

This one I didn’t realize was important to break until quite recently. We tend to be taught that passive voice automatically equals bad and I’m here to tell you that isn’t true. Passive voice should equal focus on action. Active voice equals focus on character. There may be certain sentences in which focusing on either the character or the action is more beneficial.

For example, “the alarm was pulled by Alice” (passive) kind of sounds clunky and wrong, whereas “Alice pulled the alarm” (active) is much more effective.

BUT “Alice was dragged out of the way” (passive) focuses on the action of Alice being dragged, rather than “Something dragged Alice out of the way” (active) focuses on the something that is doing the dragging, which in a moment of action, may take away from the pacing.

As long as you choose your voice with intention, both passive and active voice can be used to create strong, effective sentences.

                What are some typical writing rules you tend to ignore?

[a-lonely-dunedain]

OC Questions Tag Game

Ty for tagging me @merilles ! How’s this work, you answer the three questions about some OCs then come up with three different ones and tag people right?

(gosh I am so sorry this got so long winded 😭 Meril I guess that's a testament to how great these questions are lol)

1. How does your OC present themselves to the world (i.e. their persona) and does it differ from what they are actually like? If so, who do they feel comfortable taking the “mask” off around and why did that “mask” develop in the first place?

-Ah ok so for Tossdir it’s definitely his tendency to hide any pain he's in, both physical and emotional. I think this came about around the time his parents died. Once it finally sunk in to him that they were gone gone and it was up to Meneldir to take care of him now (something he was woefully unprepared for), little Toss got it into his head that he had to become as self-sufficient as possible as to not be a burden. He learned how to hide/downplay any pain he was in pretty effectively, leading people to think he was taking things pretty well and being very brave! But in reality it was just an unhealthy coping mechanism that no one really saw for what it was, so it persisted into his adulthood.

As for who he can take off the mask around… well not many people. At the point he probably doesn’t even realize he HAS it. He isn’t comfortable showing that kind of vulnerability around many people, especially considering it came about from a desire not to burden his loved ones with his pain. Eventually it did become easier for him to be open with Meneldir about it, and Ethedis too eventually.

- Ethedis has a similar-ish mask to Tossdir, but unlike him she’s very aware it’s there and intentionally maintains it. She uses her bubbly optimism to hide her pain sorrow and weakness, partially because she knows what a powerful weapon despair is to The Enemy, and partially because of the impact seeing her mother succumb to grief had on her. Her mom left because she essentially became too sad to continue living in Middle Earth, so Ethedis decided from a very young age that it is now Her Job to be a beacon of hope, a light in the darkness, a warmth amidst the cold! (All skills/titles she canonically has in game) so she’s not allowed to be sad or hopeless ever. (To her detriment in the long term. Shockingly, this is a bad way of dealing with your emotions)

That’s not to say her optimism is disingenuous or anything, far from it, but she’s just very careful to make sure she never shows it when the darkness begins to wear on her. It’s not really helped by the fact that certain NPCs will stress to her that her ability to inspire hope is one of her most admirable/valuable traits. That’s a lot of pressure, man! I mean thanks, but man!

-Margim's mask is one of solid stone, but she does actually have a sense of humor under there! It's pretty dry and kinda grim, but it is there. She's also just, generally a lot more caring than she lets on, even surprising herself with it. That part of her mask only started to slip for the first time after she met Celeair, and she was actually pretty alarmed by the change and the vulnerability that came with it.

-Celeair is a bit of an outliar in the sense that he really doesn't have as much of a mask as my others. He's a bit of a "wears his big heart on his sleeve" kinda guy, and lying in any form doesn't come naturally to him. This man has like, no filter.

2. What is one thing they could change either about themselves or the past? Why would they make that change? How would that change affect who they are and the world around them in their current timeline?

-Well, for both Toss and Eth the obvious answer is that they wish they hadn't lost their parents.

If Orndir and Elenath were still around would Tossdir have been able to convince Meneldir to come home? Would Meneldir have even left in the first place if he still had a family to vouch for him? Things would have been so different with them still in the picture, and probably for the better as far as Tossdir can imagine.

And Ethedis just wanted the chance to even meet Talagan. Ethuilas spoke very little about him, and when she did her words were always tainted with deep sorrow. Elrond was able to tell her a little more about him, but all the stories in the world could never truly make up for his absence. If her father hadn't died in the attack on Edhellion, her mother never would have had to sail, and they could all be living happily together in Rivendell. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. (it's either that or she wishes she was a half-elf or someone else who could choose a mortal life. *Looking Directly At Corunir*)

-Margim would have some pretty complicated feelings on this question. On the one hand: she wishes she was never born in Mordor, never had a Black Numenorean father, never abandoned by her birth mother, and that she NEVER had to endure ANY of the horrible things her life consisted of before escaping.

...but on the other hand: if things had played out so differently, she never would have met Celeair, and she never would have been there to save him when he was brought to Mordor. He would have died without her ever knowing him. And upon that realization, she decides she doesn't want to think about it anymore. Horrible things happened, but she overcame them and that's that. No sense in thinking about "what if"s because no amount of wishing will ever change the past anyway. And frankly, changing the past would mean changing her present, and despite all the pain that led her here, she wouldn't trade her current life (and by extension Celeair) for anything.

-Celeair he wishes he could have been there for his brother Halhir in the closing days of the War of the Ring. He was stuck in Dunland at the time, and while things were bad there he at least had the comfort of Margim's company, but all Halhir had was... a lot of dead friends. Celeair only learned about it after the war was over and he could finally travel back to Gondor, and the guilt he felt upon learning everything his little brother had to endure without him was... a lot, to say the least.

3. Drawing from the language of flowers, what flower(s) would best symbolize them and why?

Oh I actually already had this one figured out!

-Tossdir is red aster, symbolizing grief and undying devotion. This symbolism actually made it into lotro too canonically, so it seems rather fitting (with red aster being mentioned by name in a quest involving a ritual to honor the dead, and the same red aster model also appearing among the iconic "fields of red where life has fled" in Cardolan). Not to mention red is also His Color so it worked out perfectly.

-Ethedis' flower is either white lilac, symbolizing youthful joy, or snowdrops symbolizing hope, rebirth, and resilience. oh oh oooor possibly yellow tulips, meaning cheerfulness and hopeless love. (the hopeless love part is related to inherent angst of elf/mortal relationships *Looking Directly At Corunir*)

-Celeair and Margim: the humble dandelion! a flower I've always associated with them <3 specifically Margim is tied to the blooming flower, representing growth and resilience, while Celeair is associated with the fluffy seed head, representing hope and healing.

oooh gosh now I need to think of three questions to pass along and people to tag uhhh

What is a trait your OC can't stand in other people vs. a trait that they find themself drawn to

What animal would you associate with your OC? can be for in-character reasons (I.E their favorite animal) or a more symbolic reason

What is their biggest regret? was it truly their fault or some unavoidable tragedy? (and can they tell the difference)

annnd tagging uhh @find-the-path @aurore-parle-de-ses-idees and @rohirric-hunter ! (apologies if the questions are worded funny/unclearly it's 2:30am and I should have been in bed an hour ago lmao)

[mettywiththenotes]

I have not stopped fucking thinking about this one page ever since it came out

Because it’s so emotional to me??

Just. Them looking at each other as they are about to crash. Tomura rejecting Izuku prior to this moment. This moment happening straight after Tsukauchi said “A crime is a crime but maybe there’s more to it”. Izuku still wanting to save Tomura despite the rejection, because all he needs to know is that Tomura is still in there, and Izuku knows what he saw. He knows Tomura is still hurting

(And if Izuku were actually having some doubts here - very likely not but I’m just saying if - then Gentle and Nagant’s reappearance confirms to him that reaching out and connecting with a Villain can have a great impact on not only the Villain but everyone around them. That his attempts are worth something. And if he wasn’t having any doubts at all - the most likely case - then Gentle and Nagant’s reappearances only fuel what he already knows he has/wants to do, and that is saving Tomura)

But it’s not just that that makes me emotional

It’s like... these two are trapped by the world they’ve been brought up in. They’re trapped by the very Hero Villain dichotomy that’s echoed back in these pages. They’re trapped by it because it’s a truth (at the moment) they can’t shake off, that Heroes can’t understand Villains and that Villains can’t understand Heroes

So, logically, by what they’ve been told and what they’ve experienced of the world, is there a reason they keep fighting? Is there a reason Izuku tries to reach out to Tomura while Tomura continues to reject him out loud, despite the fact that he’s thought about Izuku (has never stopped watching him either) and still wishes to be saved anyway?

Is there a reason they keep trying and connecting (whether intentionally or not) when, as two people who oppose each other’s sides, they should be pushing each other away?

Yes, there is. Because as much as fully understanding helps, and it really does, there is also just. accepting that someone needs help. At the moment, Izuku doesn’t have to understand why Tomura does the things he does to see that Tomura is hurting. He doesn’t have to try and logically make sense of the killings and murder when the only thing that does make sense out of Tomura’s existence, maybe the only thing Izuku understands about him, is that there is a crying child inside him. And Izuku can’t just stand by and ignore that child

Likewise, maybe the only thing Tomura understands about Izuku is that he just won’t stop. He’ll always try to help anybody who is suffering, even if it’s his own opponent. Tomura knows from watching Izuku that even if he were to keep rejecting him a thousand times over, Izuku would still get back up and try. There’s no getting rid of him

So, in this moment, it’s like they’re trapped. They’re in a stand-off

Tomura won’t stop fighting even when he wants to be saved and Izuku won’t stop trying to stop Tomura and reach out to him

Their wants and intentions defy the world around them. What Heroes and Villains are supposed to be doing - fighting and winning and walking away from the battle, one of them victorious. But Tomura and Izuku will always come back to each other, always clash in some way, so they’re stuck in a loop

And that loop only ends when they break the Hero Villain dichotomy. When they reach out and finally connect

So this part here? The transition from the story telling you “actually, there is more to a Villain than their crime, there is more in who they are” and then immediately cutting to a page that falsely tells you, the reader, that Heroes and Villains are incapable of understanding each other? To me, it’s tragic. In this moment, even when we know what’s going to happen, it’s like a tragic way of reminding you that though Tsukauchi’s words are very true, there is no escaping what kind of world they’ve been brought up in, that Heroes and Villains will always oppose each other

How difficult this is going to be and what kind of change all this reaching out (from Izuku, Shouto, Ochako, everyone) is going to bring

In conclusion, a single page of interaction broke me

[the-bi-space-ace]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

(for the “directors cut” ask thing lol, any wip ya want :D (although i’m particularly invested in The World Tumbles Down ofc))

OOOOOOH BOY. Thanks for asking 🩶

Okay I have been really excited to share some more stuff about The World Tumbles Down so I’m sorry this is going to be long 😅😅😅

I think the best way to start this is to open it up with dialogue from a later chapter that came to me randomly that I wrote down the other day:

“Has anyone seen Rex?”//“It’s okay. It’s okay to cry, Rex.”

Both said by Echo….have fun deciding when (and why) that’s going to happen!

This fic means a lot to me. For a lot of reasons. Calling Me Home was the first fic of mine that I put any serious planning into. It has a storyline I’m particularly interested in. It’s about a lot of things but at its core it’s about Echo learning to grieve Fives and start sharing his life with the rest of the batch. Yes, it’s an order 66 fix it, but it’s Echo intentionally finishing what Fives started and learning to not let his grief ruin his memory of Fives.

He started opening up, he really has. It really started with Hunter and I spent a lot of time building him up to that. Hunter asks for the first time way back in the third chapter of the first story and Echo doesn’t even give in until chapter 14 of the second one. He puts walls back up pretty fast bc of… well… everything. In the chapter I’m going to post today he’s going to let that wall down a little more with another batch member. It’s a somber moment but it’s also heartfelt and he really needs it. He’s slowly opening up to them. He’s learning. It’s just taking a lot of time. It’ll be worth it, though.

The World Tumbles Down is the struggle era of this fic. Everything they know is getting torn down and typically strong characters are going to be broken down throughout this. everything else has been more or less in their wheelhouse. It’s a mission. They’re used to missions. This is different and they’re struggling to reconcile everything.

Especially after this next chapter. I hate to say that things have been easy so far but… things have been easy. Chapter 7 is when everything falls apart/together so we’re almost to the most intense parts of the fic.

I want to touch on Trick for a moment because he’s going to become important as we move forward and… his life is really irreversible changed after all of this. He’s my sweet, lovely, snarky boy and I love him dearly but oof. He doesn’t come out of this unscathed. I’m not going to kill him don’t worry don’t worry. But he is going to suffer :)

Lastly I think I want to touch on how I go about writing this fic. I have a goal of writing the first draft of two full chapters plus one new fic idea each month. I’m currently up to writing chapter… 12? I think it’s 12. That’s my last writing goal for the month of May. I write veryyyyyy far in advance. Mainly because if I don’t have concrete goals I likely won’t write and I’ll get overwhelmed. It’s also to give my partner time to edit and make suggestions. We’ve changed the timeline of major events in the middle of the fic and we only caught those plot holes from me writing this far ahead. This plot is more complicated than I’ve written before and I was incredibly anxious about it leading up to posting it. Writing ahead like this gives me the time to see how a decision in chapter 3 impacts chapter 13. I am almost constantly writing, along with working on new stuff too. It’s fun, I enjoy doing it like this. It works for me! All of that to say that I’m working very hard to make this fic great for everyone and I am excited that it has been getting so much love <3

Thanks for sending this ask I will never pass up a chance to talk about this fic 🩶🤍🩶🤍

Link for the ask 😊

[moreleafedclovers]

Actually OP I think that this argument unjustly conflates message and experience, and propose that the cause of the issue lies less with the act of summarization than with omission/falsification. I do agree that it is mostly only the speed and conformity demanded by various isms of modern society that make this truly problematic (chiefly capitalism and authoritarianism). Ultimately, if someone is pressuring you to do something, it doesn’t matter what works of media they are citing to try to convince you. You still have to be the one who decides if you like what they’re saying, and whether or not saying it makes them sound uncomfortably authoritarian (remember that while correlation does not equal causation, the two have a very intimate relationship).

Like a strong opinion essay, you can stop reading here without missing any of my message if you don’t want to find out that this post is also about Lord of the Rings and Goncharov, momentarily, Harry Potter :)

Look I don’t need a lot of words to say that I think one of the saddest moments in Lord of the Rings is when Gandalf pressures Frodo (whom he just watched accept death and then almost die several times) into wearing his sword at the after party when literally all he wants is to be Rid of the whole war now that it is supposedly over. Obviously me griping here doesn’t have the same impact as reading it on page 1190 of like 1300, but I promise the message is no less clear in the text.

Of course if someone else comes along and says “Frodo disrespects the people who fought in the War of the Ring by not wanting to wear a sword after it’s over,” you might have to go back and read it to see for yourself. OR you can look at it and figure that if Tolkien wrote 1300 pages about all the pain and anguish this one guy went through while fighting in the war, that one guy can wear whatever the fuck he wants when the war is over. If you go that second route, you might never know for sure if that’s what Tolkien was trying to say, but I honestly think that that is okay. For better or for worse, several things are true: first, that Tolkien is no longer around to verify, second, that even if he were around to verify his Point, sometimes the Point that an author is trying to make is Wrong (intentionally or otherwise), and third, that at some point, you will still have to make your own decision about the most important question here, which is what you believe. Do you think it’s more disrespectful for a tired hero to put down a sword, or to force them to pick it back up? The only person who can answer that for you is you. Or don’t, if you don’t feel like it.

Conversely, spreading a summary that does not accurately describe the work it purports to summarize is not necessarily damaging. To illustrate this point, see the numerous essays, fics, and memes about Goncharov (1973), a movie that does not exist, and which therefore cannot be accurately summarized. If anything, Goncharov has provided strong evidence in favor of people’s ability to meet a writer on their terms, and say “that’s not how I thought that went, but I am willing to imagine the story as you understood it, and understand how you drew these conclusions.” I think that’s wildly powerful, even if it can lead to confusion (the only difference between analyzing the “if you really loved me you would have shot me” scenes from Goncharov and Harry Potter is that it didn’t happen in either).

The two things I hope OP is actually trying to talk about is folks with a lot of influence who inaccurately summarizes a piece of media in ways that cause people to make bad-faith assumptions about that piece’s creator and people who act on those assumptions without question. Both of those things are bad and should be stopped. If someone is asking you to change your opinion about something in ways that materially worsen your behavior towards others, stop and consider if what they’re asking you to do is something that a) is something a kind person will do, or b) will actually help the cause they are alleging to support. Someone who will never see your bookshelf shouldn’t have to care what’s on it.

The only other thing I can think to add is that if someone is saying negative things about works you like and that’s putting people off, write your own reviews. It’s okay if they’re only a sentence or two! You also have the power to spread the works you like and say nice things to authors and artists. There may not always be more of you who do, but folks who love something tend to stick around longer than those who don’t.

Also, as an aside, why would you just tell them to go when you could say “I can read it read it for you, if you want!” instead, Xylo? Reading a book together can be a really fun experience!

at some point you have to realize that you actually have to read to understand the nuance of anything. we as a society are obsessed with summarization, likely as a result of the speed demanded by capital. from headlines to social media (twitter being especially egregious with the character limit), people take in fragments of knowledge and run with them, twisting their meaning into a kaleidoscope that dilutes the message into nothing. yes, brevity is good, but sometimes the message, even when communicated with utmost brevity, requires a 300 page book. sorry.

[wifegideonnav]

saw a post about the fandoms use of the word chussy and how violating and disrespectful it is and it really got me thinking. not going to name the op because I am absolutely not trying to argue with their take which is clearly fueled by very real anger and hurt, and I fully respect their opinion. so please understand that im not trying to start #discourse and anyone who does so on this post will be blocked (eta: please feel free to disagree with this post and let me know that you do/argue your point. by discourse I mean the annoying and pointless brand of internet arguing that we all know and hate). all that being said, here’s my take on the issue:

1. the post raised some excellent points about the desecration of the body and the implications of sexual assault that the nonconsensual alteration of gideons body carries. so first off: this is absolutely an important point and it’s something that needs to be taken into consideration. additionally, the oversexualization of butches is a huge problem and the use of the word chussy undoubtedly plays into this. all of these things must be acknowledged and respected.

2. my analysis of the joking nature the fandom has taken towards gideons chest wound is that this attitude is fueled by grief and discomfort/despair. muir tends to take her characters past their breaking points and explore how that impacts them, and that is a really hard thing to witness as a reader, especially when it’s a character as beloved as gideon, especially when the change from the first book to the third is so stark. imo, people simply don’t know how to handle these feelings, and funnel them into black humor. inappropriate? yeah, probably. but I think what’s crucial here is that this is a coping mechanism for very real feelings that are stirred up by these books. people aren’t being irreverent purely for the sake of it (though there’s definitely some of that too), they’re processing uncomfortable emotions stirred up by this - crucially - fictional character

3. arguably, this reaction was also brought on by muir herself. violence and sex are inextricably tied in this universe. harrow and ianthe have multiple sexually charged scenes that are explicitly violent - the scene where ianthe knifes harrows hand and obviously the bone arm scene. the dios apate scenes are laden with hatred, deception, and a desire to literally murder one of the participants. joli thinks nona and cam are being prostituted. palamedes’s love interest turns out to be murdered, and he tries to kill her killer in return. pyrrha has sex with a corpse. while the sexual aspect of it is never discussed, harrows conception is marked by genocide. even the excerpt of alecto that muir shared earlier this year combines a description of personal struggle and torment with explicit yonic imagery. this is all to say, the concept of gideons wound being partially sexual within the text is not far fetched at all. i would honestly be surprised if alecto doesn’t address this in some way, either in a joking way or a serious way (knowing muir, probably both). for all muir’s faux outrage over the term in the q&a earlier today (technically yesterday), she always knows exactly what she’s doing and dare I say more or less exactly how the fandom is going to react to things. im certain she anticipated that people would draw a connection between the wound and sexuality. now, muir intentionally planting this subtext does not negate any problematic aspects of said implication. but I think it’s important to note that it’s not purely a “fandom joking about serious topics” thing - it also falls on the writer

overall, I think it’s a very nuanced topic, as with pretty much everything pertaining to muirs work. bodily autonomy is a huge theme in tlt and there is a certain flavor of ignoring or defying muirs message in making a joke out of the bodily violation that gideon has suffered. however, again, i a) think the jokes stem from a place of understanding muirs intent and the discomfort that arises due to this and b) maintain that this is not a case of the fandom disrespecting a creators message but rather the fandom running with the context and tone of the source material. and finally, I want to emphasize that this is a fictional character, and while attitudes toward fiction 100% affect reality, I doubt that the people making these jokes would do so if they were aimed at a real person.

i fully invite conversation on this post and I would love to hear what you guys think, particularly butches (I am a lesbian who considers myself gnc but not masc/butch and i would never presume to speak for/over butches, especially on a topic so important). i don’t mean to be a killjoy, but after reading that post and reflecting I do think it’s important to explore the ramifications of these jokes before continuing to make them.

[dutifullynuttywitch]

1... The opening scene was... intense... how do you think it impacted MC? Eli? Their relationship? Would it change the way any others view him? (If this is not your first playthrough... try to remember what you thought the first time.)

I think this really messed with Eli. He already had trauma from having to do what he did re his family (no spoilers), and had been scared to get close to anyone else because of it. I think this was a significant step backwards for him, he’ll deal with self-loathing and Eva and friends will need to rebuild some of the closeness.

Eva didn’t blame him at all for what happened, she was relieved that the drug worked and he was saved. She knew he didn’t do it intentionally and would never hold it against him.

I feel that the others would also not blame him for the attack, I HC they were all stunned/amazed that he was able to beat the parasites. But this positive outcome can also prove dangerous, given the low probabilities for survival. What does it mean for anyone else who gets bitten? Will everyone have the chance to fight it? Will Eva and co. find enough drugs to give others a fighting chance?? This opens a world of possibilities, and with Shannon’s brilliance perhaps eventually a cure…

2... There is much talk about trusting the other groups, particularly the Raiders. Do you/does your MC think they will be loyal, or that they will betray you?

I agree – I think they will be loyal to Eva – she passed the test and got close to Sledge, Knuckles and co. But that doesn’t necessarily transfer onto the rest of the Olympus crew. There will definitely be flare-ups with the more peaceful members… Eva hopes they will be loyal at least until the end of the surge.

3... Each of the LIs... whether you romance none, one, or more than one... tend to bring out something in MC, be it through their friendship or more. How do you think each of the LIs (which now includes Sledge) help make MC better? Do any make him/her worse?

I love how each has such a different personality and brings out different qualities within Eva. I am doing romance for Troy and Eli this time around, platonic with the others.

Troy: Troy my love.. lol he is Eva’s best friend, knows her better than anyone and is her emotional support. He’s much more carefree, which brings out her lighter side – necessary with all the stress and pressures of running a colony during an apocalypse. He’s also a charmer and excellent negotiator, having run a black market business behind Blackstock’s back all these years. He uses these skills to help Eva sharpen her diplomacy chops.

Eli: Eli is a fighter through and through. He is initially withdrawn and standoffish but it’s clear he is a protector and comes through time and again for Eva, their friends and the colony. He is the strong, steadfast presence helping Eva to grow into a fierce fighter and grow confident in herself as a leader.

Shannon: She is a brilliant scientist but sheltered and too soft for this world. She helps Eva and the colony with her research but has put Eva and others at risk a few too many times with her lack of fighting skills.. I HC Eva will eventually ask her to stay behind when they venture out because her need to keep Shannon safe can become too much of a distraction and put others at risk.

Angel: She is a firecracker and Eva adores her like a crazy little sister! She’s wildly inappropriate which annoyed Eva at first, but she soon realized it was Angel’s coping mechanism. Angel’s engineering skills are very useful for Eva and the Colony, and she’s a great fighter – albeit a bit of a wildcard.

Sledge: They have very different worldviews, but Sledge is the only LI who is also a leader of her colony. She teaches Eva that in the harsh world they live in, there will always be difficult choices to make as a leader, and that Eva needs to be strong to make those unpopular choices for the benefit of the colony…

6... The dirty 30's! OK you had a choice of up to five of them... did you take them all - either as platonic or romantic routes? If you've been waiting on this with a particular LI... did your MC walk away content? Any regrets? How did these scenes - romantic or not - change your MCs relationship with the other character(s)?

I did romance for Troy and Eli, platonic for the rest.

Troy: I loved how it naturally evolved from him trying to cheer her up, the flirty banter becoming more… his eyes going wide at her opening *that* door after so many years of platonic friendship and him admitting he’d wanted to do that for so long… I also loved the teasing and banter during, it felt right for them. (I mean those boxer shorts!!) My first playthrough, I was frustrated that there wasn’t a conversation/acknowledgement that things had changed between them. But then I though – these two have had this romantic attraction for sooo long and had never dared to take that step, fearing how that would change their friendship, considering they had only ever had each other (and Brynn and few other close friends) for so many years at the Tower. Putting myself in their shoes, I think both are a little apprehensive of what exactly this entailed – does it make them friends with benefits? More? There’s also the fact that Eva has so much on her mind – Dirk’s revelation, the surge coming up, keeping the peace between all the colonies… I think it makes sense that they mutually think – let’s table figuring out what this means for now…

Eli: This was my first “romantic” play-through and I thought the moment was very emotionally charged. I melted with Eva’s softness, kissing/caressing his scars, breaking down his walls slowly but surely, showing him he is cared for and worthy of love. That opening himself up doesn't mean that he will be hurt again. The moment was lovely. I feel like they progressed in their relationship, but the last convo was a big step back – Eli building his walls right back up...

Feel free to discuss whatever you want, not limited to these questions... but keep in mind that some people have not read the whole book yet, so put any future spoilers below a read more/page break.

Be respectful of all! Different opinions aren't only allowed, they're encouraged! But be polite to others.

Remember, if you post any screenshots, etc., be sure to tag @wakethedead-group-re-read so I can reblog here.

You can discuss all week - it's not limited to just today! Any questions, just shoot me an ask!

If you want to be removed from the tag list, or tagged in future posts, please let me know!

You can find all chapter discussion posts here.

Discussion questions:

Warning: This may be my favorite chapter of the book. Things are about to go feral...

1... The opening scene was... intense... how do you think it impacted MC? Eli? Their relationship? Would it change the way any others view him? (If this is not your first playthrough... try to remember what you thought the first time.) 2... There is much talk about trusting the other groups, particularly the Raiders. Do you/does your MC think they will be loyal, or that they will betray you? 3... Each of the LIs... whether you romance none, one, or more than one... tend to bring out something in MC, be it through their friendship or more. How do you think each of the LIs (which now includes Sledge) help make MC better? Do any make him/her worse? 4... Tell us about your alliance meeting. What choices did you make? What were your takeaways? 5... Let's talk about Dirk... I'm not limiting the conversation, just share your thoughts on him in this chapter. 6... The dirty 30's! OK you had a choice of up to five of them... did you take them all - either as platonic or romantic routes? If you've been waiting on this with a particular LI... did your MC walk away content? Any regrets? How did these scenes - romantic or not - change your MCs relationship with the other character(s)? 7... Normally I'd ask for predictions, but since most of us are re-reading, let's limit that to our newbies. For the rest, share any other thoughts on this chapter.

@oh-so-youre-a-nerd @annoyingmillenialnewbie @missameliep @dutifullynuttywitch @tessa-liam @jerzwriter @aallotarenunelma AGAIN - if you'd like to be added or removed, please let me know!

Chapter 14 will be posted later today or tomorrow!

[duckprintspress]

How to Edit an Over-Length Story Down to a Specific Word Count

One of the most wonderful things about writing as a hobby is that you never have to worry about the length of your story. You can be as self-indulgent as you want, make your prose the royalist of purples, include every single side story and extra thought that strikes your fancy. It’s your story, with no limits, and you can proceed with it as you wish.

When transitioning from casual writing to a more professional writing milieu, this changes. If you want to publish, odds are, you’ll need to write to a word count. If a flash fiction serial says, “1,000 words or less,” your story can’t be 1,025 and still qualify. If a website says, “we accept novellas ranging from 20,000 to 40,000 words,” your story will need to fall into that window. Even when you consider novel-length works, stories are expected to be a certain word count to fit neatly into specific genres - romance is usually around 80,000 words, young adult usually 50,000 to 80,000, debut novels usually have to be 100,000 words or less regardless of genre, etc. If you self-publish or work with a small press, you may be able to get away with breaking these “rules,” but it’s still worthwhile to learn to read your own writing critically with length in mind and learn to recognize what you do and do not need to make your story work - and then, if length isn’t an issue in your publishing setting, you can always decide after figuring out what’s non-essential to just keep everything anyway.

If you’re writing for fun? You literally never have to worry about your word count (well, except for sometimes in specific challenges that have minimum and/or maximum word counts), and as such, this post is probably not for you.

But, if you’re used to writing in the “throw in everything and the kitchen sink” way that’s common in fandom fanfiction circles, and you’re trying to transition only to be suddenly confronted with the reality that you’ve written 6,000 words for a short story project with a maximum word count of 5,000...well, we at Duck Prints Press have been there, we are in fact there right now, as we finish our stories for our upcoming anthology Add Magic to Taste and many of us wrote first drafts that were well over the maximum word count.

So, based on our experiences, here are our suggestions on approaches to help your story shorter...without losing the story you wanted to tell!

Cut weasel words (we wrote a whole post to help you learn how to do that!) such as unnecessary adverbs and adjectives, the “was ~ing” sentence structure, redundant time words such as “a moment later,” and many others.

When reviewing dialog, keep an eye out for “uh,” “er,” “I mean,” “well,” and other casual extra words. A small amount of that kind of language usage can make dialog more realistic, but a little goes a long way, and often a fair number of words can be removed by cutting these words, without negatively impacting your story at all.

Active voice almost always uses fewer words than passive voice, so try to use active voice more (but don’t forget that passive voice is important for varying up your sentence structures and keeping your story interesting, so don’t only write in active voice!).

Look for places where you can replace phrases with single words that mean the same thing. You can often save a lot of words by switching out phrases like “come back” for “return” and seeking out other places where one word can do the work of many.

Cut sentences that add atmosphere but don't forward the plot or grow your characters. (Obviously, use your judgement. Don't cut ALL the flavor, but start by going - I’ve got two sentences that are mostly flavor text - which adds more? And then delete the other, or combine them into one shorter sentence.)

Remove superfluous dialog tags. If it’s clear who’s talking, especially if it’s a conversation between only two people, you can cut all the he saids, she saids.

Look for places where you've written repetitively - at the most basic level, “ ‘hahaha,’ he laughed,” is an example, but repetition is often more subtle, like instances where you give information in once sentence, and then rephrase part or all of that sentence in the next one - it’s better to poke at the two sentences until you think of an effective, and more concise, way to make them into only one sentence. This also goes for scenes - if you’ve got two scenes that tend towards accomplishing the same plot-related goal, consider combining them into one scene.

Have a reason for every sentence, and even every sentence clause (as in, every comma insertion, every part of the sentence, every em dashed inclusion, that kind of thing). Ask yourself - what function does this serve? Have I met that function somewhere else? If it serves no function, or if it’s duplicative, consider cutting it. Or, the answer may be “none,” and you may choose to save it anyway - because it adds flavor, or is very in character for your PoV person, or any of a number of reasons. But if you’re saving it, make sure you’ve done so intentionally. It's important to be aware of what you're trying to do with your words, or else how can you recognize what to cut, and what not to cut?

Likewise, have a reason for every scene. They should all move the story along - whatever the story is, it doesn’t have to be “the end of the world,” your story can be simple and straightforward and sequential...but if you’re working to a word count, your scenes should still forward the story toward that end point. If the scene doesn’t contribute...you may not need them, or you may be able to fold it in with another scene, as suggested in item 6.

Review the worldbuilding you’ve included, and consider what you’re trying to accomplish with your story. A bit of worldbuilding outside of the bare essentials makes a story feel fleshed out, but again, a little can go a long way. If you’ve got lots of “fun” worldbuilding bits that don’t actually forward your plot and aren’t relevant to your characters, cut them. You can always put them as extras in your blog later, but they’ll just make your story clunky if you have a lot of them.

Beware of info-dumps. Often finding a more natural way to integrate that information - showing instead of telling in bits throughout the story - can help reduce word count.

Alternatively - if you over-show, and never tell, this will vastly increase your word count, so consider if there are any places in your story where you can gloss over the details in favor of a shorter more “tell-y” description. You don’t need to go into a minute description of every smile and laugh - sometimes it’s fine to just say, “she was happy” or “she frowned” without going into a long description of their reaction that makes the reader infer that they were happy. (Anyone who unconditionally says “show, don’t tell,” is giving you bad writing advice. It’s much more important to learn to recognize when showing is more appropriate, and when telling is more appropriate, because no story will function as a cohesive whole if it’s all one or all the other.)

If you’ve got long paragraphs, they’re often prime places to look for entire sentences to cut. Read them critically and consider what’s actually helping your story instead of just adding word count chonk.

Try reading some or all of the dialog out loud; if it gets boring, repetitive, or unnecessary, end your scene wherever you start to lose interest, and cut the dialog that came after. If necessary, add a sentence or two of description at the end to make sure the transition is abrupt, but honestly, you often won’t even need to do so - scenes that end at the final punchy point in a discussion often work very well.

Create a specific goal for a scene or chapter. Maybe it’s revealing a specific piece of information, or having a character discover a specific thing, or having a specific unexpected event occur, but, whatever it is, make sure you can say, “this scene/chapter is supposed to accomplish this.” Once you know what you’re trying to do, check if the scene met that goal, make any necessary changes to ensure it does, and cut things that don’t help the scene meet that goal.

Building on the previous one, you can do the same thing, but for your entire story. Starting from the beginning, re-outline the story scene-by-scene and/or chapter-by-chapter, picking out what the main “beats” and most important themes are, and then re-read your draft and make sure you’re hitting those clearly. Consider cutting out the pieces of your story that don’t contribute to those, and definitely cut the pieces that distract from those key moments (unless, of course, the distraction is the point.)

Re-read a section you think could be cut and see if any sentences snag your attention. Poke at that bit until you figure out why - often, it’s because the sentence is unnecessary, poorly worded, unclear, or otherwise superfluous. You can often rewrite the sentence to be clearer, or cut the sentence completely without negatively impacting your work.

Be prepared to cut your darlings; even if you love a sentence or dialog exchange or paragraph, if you are working to a strict word count and it doesn't add anything, it may have to go, and that's okay...even though yes, it will hurt, always, no matter how experienced a writer you are. (Tip? Save your original draft, and/or make a new word doc where you safely tuck your darlings in for the future. Second tip? If you really, really love it...find a way to save it, but understand that to do so, you’ll have to cut something else. It’s often wise to pick one or two favorites and sacrifice the rest to save the best ones. We are not saying “always cut your darlings.” That is terrible writing advice. Don’t always cut your darlings. Writing, and reading your own writing, should bring you joy, even when you’re doing it professionally.)

If you’re having trouble recognizing what in your own work CAN be cut, try implementing the above strategies in different places - cut things, and then re-read, and see how it works, and if it works at all. Sometimes, you’ll realize...you didn’t need any of what you cut. Other times, you’ll realize...it no longer feels like the story you were trying to tell. Fiddle with it until you figure out what you need for it to still feel like your story, and practice that kind of cutting until you get better at recognizing what can and can’t go without having to do as much tweaking.

Lastly...along the lines of the previous...understand that sometimes, cutting your story down to a certain word count will just be impossible. Some stories simply can’t be made very short, and others simply can’t be told at length. If you’re really struggling, it’s important to consider that your story just...isn’t going to work at that word count. And that’s okay. Go back to the drawing board, and try again - you’ll also get better at learning what stories you can tell, in your style, using your own writing voice, at different word counts. It’s not something you’ll just know how to do - that kind of estimating is a skill, just like all other writing abilities.

As with all our writing advice - there’s no one way to tackle cutting stories for length, and also, which of these strategies is most appropriate will depend on what kind of story you’re writing, how much over-length it is, what your target market is, your characters, and your personal writing style. Try different ones, and see which work for you - the most important aspect is to learn to read your own writing critically enough that you are able to recognize what you can cut, and then from that standpoint, use your expertise to decide what you should cut, which is definitely not always the same thing. Lots of details can be cut - but a story with all of the flavor and individuality removed should never be your goal.

Contributions to this post were made by @unforth, @jhoomwrites, @alecjmarsh, @shealynn88, @foxymoley, @willablythe, and @owlishintergalactic, and their input has been used with their knowledge and explicit permission. Thanks, everyone, for helping us consider different ways to shorten stories!

[samstrugglingwithlife]

You Make Him Blush

Genre: Fluff

Characters: Oikawa, Kuroo and Akaashi

Warning: Swearing, sorry

A/N: Ya girl is finally posting. I mean it’s 5 am right now but hey! I did it. V, proud of myself (I should sleep but no). I hope you enjoy it. (It’s not edited, I skimmed over it but I may have missed some mistakes, so sorry about that!!)

OIKAWA

This fucker likes to play games with you. He makes you blush all the goddamn motherfucking time. He'll wink at you before making a killer serve, lift his shirt just enough during practice that you'd see his toned abs, he'll whisper ungodly shit in your ears when you're out in public. And honestly, you're super tired of feeling your cheeks heat up every time this guy so much as breathes in your direction.  

In the start of your relationship when the two of you were still a new couple you had witnessed him blush, but it was a mild flush out of nervousness. You always felt that you never made him as flustered as he made you.

So there you were, on a Saturday evening whining to your best friend that your boyfriend doesn't get nervous around you anymore and that the spark in your relationship was dwindling.

"I don't think that it's getting mundane, your relationship," your BFF started. "He's hella whipped for you, makes me gag."

"Then? How can he make me blush, but I can't even make him mildly flustered?" you asked, your shoulders slumping in a defeated manner. "Why do you even care about that?" 

You stare at your friend, "Because, he does it all the time! I wanna do it too! I wanna see him flustered!" you whine. "I wanna make him speechless!"

 "Oh so it's a game?" your friend asks you blankly. "Listen either help me or don't judge me."

That conversation was a week ago. Today was a rare date where you and Tooru would go out rather than him practising his serves in the gym and you watching him and feeding him snacks in between.

He waited for you outside your house. You paced in your room, checking yourself in the mirror anxiously. Was it too much? Will he laugh at you? Do you look stupid? A million thoughts were rushing through your head as you looked at your appearance in the mirror. With a nervous groan, you exit your room and make your way to the front door.

As soon as he hears the front door open, he turns around with a wide grin, "Finally! What took-" he is stunned as he lays his eyes on you, "you... so long..." his words dying in his throat.

You blink in shock as you witness a deep flush spreading across his cheeks. Your face also felt hot but with embarrassment. "Th-this wasn't a good idea!" you stutter. "I'm gonna go change!" you turn to leave, but you are yanked backwards by your wrist, falling against Tooru's strong chest. "You look great," he mumbles into your shoulder. "So so beautiful..."

You were surprised, you had no idea that wearing his turquoise jersey tucked into your jeans would have this much impact on your boyfriend.

The whole time during your date, Tooru kept stealing glances at you, and every time your eyes would meet, a dark blush would appear across his face. You wanted to grin and say that it serves him right! That it was your revenge. But you couldn't say a single word, your face equally as red as his.

Because the thing is, you never realised that a blushing, flustered Tooru was absolutely way too fucking adorable. 

KUROO

It's not that you never made him flustered or nervous. You were an absolute beauty, and everything you did was enough to bring him to his knees, but he hid it well. He'd hide it behind a facade of a confident tease; when that wouldn't work, he'd strategically turn his face away from you until the redness left his cheeks.

You were under the impression that he was way too suave and that you did not have that sort of power over him. Oooh! And boy, were you wrong!

It happened right before the match between Nekoma and Nohebi. You were hanging out with the team before they went out into the court and you went to the spectator's area. 

Kuroo's team bumped into the opposing team, and obviously, your boyfriend had to shit-talk the other team. You stood to the side rolling your eyes.

Your boyfriend took another jab at Daishou regarding his ex-girlfriend. Irked, the other team's captain attempted to tease him back by saying that Kuroo doesn't even have a girlfriend.

You raised your brow, stepped forward and looped your arm around your boyfriend's and smiled sweetly at Daishou, "Now, now. I'm very offended that you think that I don't exist."

Kuroo smirked as the other guy sputtered an apology towards you. You accepted his sorry. 

You realised that it was soon going to be time for you to find a seat, so you leaned up and placed a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips. You could literally see his head exploding as a deep red blush appeared on his face. 

You almost didn't hear both teams sputtering because your eyes were blinking at your boyfriend's current state.

Yaku and Kai dragged the Nekoma team away, while Nohebi left on their own, Daishou giving Kuroo a hateful glare as he left.

As soon as it was just the two of you, he buried his face in the crook between your neck and shoulder. His knees began to feel weak. He groaned, his voice muffled by your skin.

"Tetsu, are you okay?" you asked, confused. He only shook his head still buried in your neck. "I look so lame right now..." he mumbled into your skin. He felt the vibrations on your throat as you laughed and stroked his hair. "What? You think I think you're lame because you stopped functioning because of a simple kiss?" he nodded again. This caused you to laugh loudly this time.

He pulled back and glared at you weakly, his face still flushed red. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?" he asked. You smiled and flicked his forehead, "Go out there and win, cool guy," you grin. He pouted but left after placing a quick kiss to your forehead, ready for his team to hoot for him teasingly.

As soon as he was out of sight, you placed a hand over your beating heart in your chest and took a deep breath. Did he have any clue what he does to you?

AKAASHI

Right. So I headcanon that this guy is not that difficult to fluster but he, just like Kuroo, tries his best to hide it afraid you'd think that he is unattractive.

It's a difficult task to control his face from getting red because everything you do is so cute he can't help it. One time he had to physically remove himself from your presence before you could see his neck turning red.

This one-time Bokuto found him in the storage room, face buried between all the volleyballs in the basket. He has never been more scared in his life than seeing his teammate, who is the epitome of calm, losing his shit because his S/O decided to be cute that day. 

You weren't unaware of the effect you had on him but you knew that he was embarrassed, whatever his reason was, so you never intentionally did anything that would fluster him.

So imagine your surprise when you suddenly come face to face with a new side of him.

The two of you were hanging out in a cafe, you guys were on a study date. Keiji was immersed in his textbook, his hand holding yours across the table. You noticed that his lips were slightly chapped, thinking that they would hurt if his skin stretches, you call out to him, "Keiji." He looks up from his book at you, "Hmm?" he hums.

Without thinking, you swipe your thumb across your lower lip, gathering up the gloss and then proceed to wipe it on his lips. He couldn't even get up and hide, his entire face flushes a deep red. He buries his face in his folded arms on the table with a loud thud. "K-Keiji?!" you call out startled. "Are you okay?"

"J-just give me a minute, I need to calm down," he says, face still buried in his arms. "Okay?" you sit back, confused, taking a sip from your drink.

After a while, he slowly looks up, his face still slightly flushed. "You good?" you ask. He nods weakly. "Sorry..." he apologises. "You must think I look stupid."

You wrinkle your brows in confusion, "What?"

"I mean, I probably look dumb with my face all red and ugly..."

"Keiji," you begin calmly. "You have this effect on me all the time, do you think I look stupid?" you ask.

"No!" he says quickly. "I think you look adorable."

You smile, "There you go! What makes you think that I don't think that you don’t look adorable?" He looks away, unable to answer. "Sweety, you need to stop overthinking about things like that. I love you no matter what."

He smiles weakly and laces his fingers with your fingers. He didn't say anything after that, but you could feel him relax. He felt giddy in his heart, you said you loved him. He didn't tell you yet but he will soon, in a way you deserve to hear it.

[tobi-smp]

I was thinking about it while I was in the shower, so here’s another Hot Take on the discussion on whether we can (or should) consider technoblade as abusive

a lot of interactions between technoblade and other characters are difficult to gauge because c!techno obviously isn’t honest about his feelings at all times On Top Of cc!techno Very Rarely If Ever being completely in character, including and especially with very serious lore scenes. so how we’re meant to take anything he does or says is hard to parse, especially with the knowledge that other creators can take scenes seriously and incorporate it into their lore even if it wasn’t the intention at the time (like jack’s death at tommy’s hands during exile).

(technoblade has only recently come out to state that he’s intentionally playing his side of the story lighter to give people a break from the heavy angst in the rest of the server, but that’s hardly new. he broke the tension all the time during his partnership with tommy, namely with the confrontation with dream at the portal and tommy and tubbo’s first reunion, but it was even noticeable with doomsday, his perspective is a Palpably different tone from Anyone on the l’manberg side of things. which can make some Very interesting inconsistencies when it’s directly slammed into tommy’s more serious roleplaying style.)

you can Easily read him as Either a purely opportunistic character who uses the guise of being deeply emotionally wounded as a justification for Horrific Violence when he was never that emotionally invested in the first place Or a character that is rarely if ever honest and open with his feelings, who hurts other people by accident by trying to downplay his own vulnerability who is Nevertheless deeply emotionally invested in and impacted by the people around him. both interpretations can be soundly backed up by what we’ve been given and we can’t really discount the other reading because of the semi-canoncity of whatever technoblade does. we aren’t really gonna know unless technoblade himself decides to address it specifically.

so with that in mind, I want to take a second to take a more charitable reading, not as an argument that technoblade’s relationship with tommy Wasn’t unhealthy (because it objectively was no matter the reading of his intentions) but to ground the overall conversation a little bit here.

this, I think, is where the nuance in the intersection between “technoblade didn’t have the full picture of what happened with dream and tommy” and “technoblade knew enough to know that what he did on doomsday was wrong” Matters. 

if we read technoblade as a character that genuinely cares but either chooses not to or doesn’t know How to express those emotions in a healthy productive way (“tsundereblade” ala the scene of ranboo giving techno the axe) Combined With techno’s very dry sense of humor then it Is very possible to read some of the more uh, Unfortunate things that he’s said in a different light. which doesn’t excuse them by any means, people hurting their friends by not being emotionally honest or through jokes that hit harder than intended happens all the time and it’s the responsibility of that friend to apologize and change their behavior. but at the same time, people can’t actually change their behavior if they don’t know that what they’ve done is wrong.

we need to keep in mind that: - both technoblade And tommy express their affection with their friends by ribbing them. making fun of each other Is a sign of affection for them. if we’re meant to read that as part of their characters then it may not be entirely fair to say that technoblade should’ve known that putting tommy down was going to hurt him

- technoblade knows (or assumes) that dream wants to kill tommy and he knows that tommy has trauma. but technoblade Doesn’t know that dream systematically destroyed tommy’s self confidence to the point of being suicidal. he Doesn’t know how fragile tommy is about his own self worth, and he Doesn’t know that that kind of joking would hit tommy differently now than it would’ve back during their pogtopia days.

- technoblade knows that tommy was a child soldier, he knows that he was forced out of his home and isolated by someone that he’d trusted and loved, and he directly relates tommy’s betrayal to his own. he’s more likely to think that tommy’s mental state Now has more to do with l’manberg than dream specifically even if he recognizes dream as a threat to tommy.

none of this makes techno putting down tommy’s self worth Right, it doesn’t mean that we have to look at him charitably when he tells someone to their face that they aren’t equals only to turn around and destroy a country when he thinks he’s being dehumanized. but I also think that we can’t necessarily assume that he 100% devalued tommy both as a person and a friend from that interaction.

moreover, technoblade was For Sure being opportunistic in trying to recruit tommy. I’ve made my own analysis on techno obviously trying to prime tommy for a partnership at the start of tommy’s exile. but at the same time, I don’t think that’s necessarily Solely about taking advantage of what tommy could do for him, especially since he was trying to recruit tommy before he’d had his mind set on actively destroying l’manberg.

assuming that technoblade was as hurt by tommy as he was because he genuinely Cared about tommy, because he and tommy Were friends and he enjoyed his company, then he very well could’ve recognized that tommy being betrayed by the same people he was would open him up to being able to relate to him. techno and tommy have very fun interactions when there’s nothing driving them against each other, but they’re fundamentally incompatible on their morality and philosophies.

so the obvious solution to that would be one showing the other that their way of thinking was wrong, to let their relationship thrive without that barrier between them. and like, obviously technoblade is the extremist of the situation, it’s a little hard to swallow him trying to change tommy when he’s the one that refuses to compromise even when tommy tries to do it for him. but I think it’s worth recognizing when we’re having a conversation about whether or not he Solely saw tommy as an asset to use rather than a companion. if you choose to read techno as someone who refuses to compromise on his ideals but craves that interaction anyways, then the way he scooped tommy up while trying to relate tommy’s situation to his own, trying to convince them that l’manberg was bad for him, etc, can be read in a Much Less overtly malicious light. it’s still not a Healthy one, but at least it’s not Child Labor Meat Shield.

this particular reading Does have the fact that techno didn’t try to recruit anyone else on its side. for the entirety of tommy’s exile up until doomsday he didn’t try to seek out partnerships with anyone, even though there were Several people unaffiliated with l’manberg at the time. he sought tommy out the First Day of his exile, surely the moment he heard of it, and he was Noticeably Eager to partner with him the moment he’d found him in his house. if that was nothing but pure unadulterated ambition and opportunity seeking then you’d think he’d try to make at least One ally in the meantime.

then again, tommy was the most vulnerable person on the server at the time, you don’t have to know about tommy’s abuse to know that. if you choose to read techno as solely opportunistic then it’s easy to dismiss all of that and say that techno went for tommy because he saw it as the safest bet and that he didn’t gun for any other allies before him because he didn’t see it as immediately necessary until he’d been provoked. but on the other hand, it makes a lot of Sense that a character who’d just cut himself off from every ally he could’ve had but One would be kind of desperate for any chance at connection that he could get. that he’d seize the opportunity specifically Because he enjoyed his relationship with tommy before it went south and he wants to have a close partnership like that again.

technoblade’s a highly paranoid character, so you could argue that he’d try to seek out any partnership he could get his hands on if he was truly actively gunning for allies to the point of being willing to overlook his grudge against tommy to scoop him up as soon as possible. but on the other hand, technoblade’s a highly paranoid character, so he might not want to Risk someone ratting him out to the enemy if he can’t trust them or if they aren’t as neutral as they seem to be.

so ! with all that in mind I think that it’s a valid take to argue that technoblade’s actions could’ve been considered abusive whether he realized it or not, but I also think that it’s a valid take to say that it might not’ve been the intention of the roleplayers at the time and that some of the details that can be used to come to the conclusion that technoblade was abusive were tinged by cc!techno’s humor and him not thinking through the implications of tommy’s current arc. both takes make sense within the context of what we’ve been presented, we just need to make the space for both within overall analysis.

[apple-but-sour]

That repost reminded me of a take i am so dead fucking sick of seeing. “C!Dream doesn’t have a perspective because he’s the bad guy hurr durr” actually have you considered that given how majorly which perspective you watch changes how you interact with the story, (proven by the mere existence of everything that is apologist discourse), and how he’s barely even worse than other characters who get mountains of sympathy both narratively and by the fandom, that the message may be that the reason you perceive dream as a villain is not because he’s necessarily worse or “evil” but because you lack his perspective?? Like it would be such a shit message to go “look at all these complicated and morally grey people, and how a change in perspective can change a monster into a human and vice versa, except for this one guy who you’re not even given a chance with because man fuck that”

It directly ties into how c!dream intentionally misrepresents himself to his enemies or barely bothers defending himself in terms of intentions, how he tends to be dehumanized either by others or himself, even the mask thing (since it is canon) is symbolic in how it further dehumanizes dream, because the thing that would most clearly be an indicator of humanity, contact and expression is hidden away. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, it’s just not something we have access to (obviously I doubt the mask thing would have any follow through in terms of symbolism, dream is never gonna change his skin, think of his brand).

In a way I can’t be that angry at people for having that take because it feels a lot like purposeful misdirection. It’s easy to write off dream, and empathizing with him takes leg work, as you’ve clearly demonstrated throughout your whole dreblr career, further encouraged by how he straight up lies about his motivations sometimes. Ideally it could build up to a “reveal” of sorts, that could recontextualize what kind of person c!dream is when/if cc!dream finally releases his lore video, though idk.

Is this intentional? Fuck if i know but it’s more credible than just assuming c!dream is a villain because it just goes against so much of what the dsmp is at this point.

This turned into a rant. Obviously cc!dream’s actual intentions for not streaming aren’t because of story impact or anything, but I do hope it’s something he’s realized so something cool could come of it.

Dude, anon you've put so much into words. With how cc!Dream himself pointed out how the lack of perspective makes his character a great villain that's harder to sympathize with, and how Season 3 seems to be building up to some kind of drastic change in how the narrative frames c!Dream, I do think all of this is intentional.

Just think about it, we've got this guy who's taken on an antagonistic role in Season 2, who did Exile, for Christ's sake, who was described as "reserved", out of all things, by the actor, who at the end of the season was revealed to be scheming basically a takeover of the whole server. I can see how people flatten him into a sort of villain stereotype from all that. And then we've got the Enderwalk Arc that to me seems to be heading in the direction of the Enderwalk's actions being given more context and c!Dream himself being recontextualized in the process. We also have the Prison Arc that's breaking c!Dream down to the point where some people can't help but sympathize with him. We have more and more characters questioning the previously established narrative around c!Dream.

And then to top it all off, as you've said, the creators make it a point to write all characters as morally grey, and it's strange for just the one guy to be the exception to the rule. And a part of me can't be too mad at people who bought into c!Dream's facade, same as I can't be too mad at people who believe c!Ranboo to be manipulated by c!Dream. Being fooled is what makes magic tricks fun, so a part of me is almost envious of the people who haven't clocked on yet because they get to be truly shocked by the eventual reveal.

Then again, we could always be wrong with our predictions of where the story is heading. Only time will tell who is right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[maldito-arbol]

What are your personal favorite CMTO scenes?

HOO boy

Okay so for this one I skimmed through all of what’s out in CMTO jotting down scenes i really liked and then I narrowed them down to a top fifteen. I am physically incapable of narrowing them down any further. This is only where I currently stand, and future events in CMTO that have not yet been posted will not be included on here even tho there are a few I really really wish I could. So let’s do this!

TW for abuse/mentions of abuse because this is CMTO we’re talking about

#15 The Confrontation with Aldo (Chapter 4)

I don’t even understand why I needed to include this one so badly, but I absolutely love all the different layers to the conversation at hand when Aldo and Sasha interact individually for the first time. This is the first scene we meet Aldo separately from the other Toad Lords. This is something he did intentionally, as the motivations he discusses with Sasha aren’t exactly pieces of information he’s comfortable being so open about with his fellow toads. And he is OPEN, to put it mildly. He shares the story behind his blindness as well as worries for his friends, and and most importantly, he tells Sasha WHY he wanted her to take the crown.

One of the mysteries of CMTO is What The Heck Is Up With Aldo, and this scene provides some insight while also making a blatant parallel to Barrel. The line “If Sasha suddenly feels like a puppet on strings, no agency to move an arm or twitch a finger or blink an eyelid without permission from her master…” is simply put into words exactly what she’s become. She may be Queen but she is not the one in control here. Aldo put here there, nudges and pushes her around to suit his own entertainment, and Barrel is using her too, except he’s gonna be inflicting something a little stronger than just a nudge. And godAMN do I love comparing Barrel and Aldo.

#14 Not Qualified To Be Queen (Chapter 1)

CAN YOU TELL THIS SCENE EXISTS SOLELY BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO KILL GRIME ALL ALONG.

I wanted to give Grime and Sasha one of their last moments together, as the good friends they are before Barrel’s influence seeps in and infects any semblance of healthiness in Sasha’s relationships. This scene is absolutely steeped in both Sasha and Grime character developments. Grime WANTED to overthrow the king, to take the throne and claim Amphibia for the toads, but suddenly he’s backpedaling. Why? He has spent so much time with Sasha both in Toad Tower and in Wartwood that he’s noticed the drastic change in her since she started dating Anne and Marcy. She doesn’t care about power anymore, doesn’t care about fighting or being the best, she just wants her and her girlfriends to live together happily, and it’s conflicting with Grime’s motivations for the throne because Sasha is his daughter and he LOVES her and he truly and genuinely doesn’t want her to be forced back into the toxic mindset she just broke free from. Which is exactly where she ends up by the end of chapter 4. This is just the precursor. One last flare of false hope they cling to only to avoid thinking about the inevitable.

#13 Heart admits they love Wit (Chapter 3)

I couldn’t NOT put this one on. I cut a Heandrias scene from the list just for this one.

Losing Andrias—or rather, leaving him behind, was the hardest decision Heart has ever had to make, and said decision impacts every last one of their actions going forward in CMTO. This is a huge turning point—breaking away from Andrias allows Heart to finally admit that they loved more than just him, that they still do, and that they were wrong. They’ve been trapped in one idea of love for a thousand fucking years and suddenly it’s been shattered and now they’re forced to realize they have had exactly what they wanted for all that time and they simply refused to see her. They shout at her in an outburst of anger, because to them, their actions are something that should be punished, that should have been punished, and yet Wit has never once inflicted any kind of harm. So they decide the temple is their punishment, that Wit is forcing them to face their demons as compensation for all the torture they’ve put her through. And the sad part is…it’s not. Wit doesn’t answer. She’s not in control of this dream. It’s become alive, something more than just a test, it’s a living embodiment of the gems’ and the vessels’ fears and failures, and the reality is that now nobody’s around to punish Heart except for Heart themself.

They scold themself one last time for not loving Andrias enough, and then Anne steps in and tells them that leaving him was the right thing to do. This is a turning point not just for Heart’s dynamic with Wit, but also for theirs with Anne.

#12 Polly Yells at Annie-B (Chapter 3)

Idk what it is about Heart and Anne interactions in the context of the dream chapter, but they are SO FUN.

There isn’t even a whole lot of analysis I wanna provide for this one, I just love the drama.

#11 The Harp Scene (Chapter 6)

Okay SOOOOOOOO in my planning stages I had very VERY little actually in mind for the Grime chapter, just a bunch of disjointed ideas of things I needed to setup for the future, and then i had to just come up with stupid or creative ways to implement them as actual scenes in the chapter, and nothing is more of a prime example than the HARP scene.

The idea at its barest of bones was Grime needed to figure out Sasha wasn’t Sasha, which segued into Not-Sasha should break the bond they share in some way, which segued into her finding one of his actions so repulsive that she has no choice but to snap, and that left the question, WHAT the hell could Grime possibly do to piss Barrel off so much that she’d hurt him? Remembering that Grime plays the harp was an absolute stroke of luck, let me tell you, because it’s PERFECT considering Barrel’s strange obsession with music and perfection. I wanted to research how sound can affect ppl and if there are any unsettling sounds that can be played on the harp, and instead I found out that apparently harps can BUZZ if they’re not tuned properly or a string is off, and I went O RLY??? And boom, the harp scene was born.

I wanted to make it clear that Grime, while still somewhat shackled by his upbringing and what it means to be a heartless toad, has talents hidden deep inside him that were simply never appreciated until now, during his last days. He’s not a big dumb boulder as the newts like to stereotype toads, because his intellect lies in his proficiency at his music. He likes playing the harp, he’s GOOD at it, and this talent didn’t just come out of nowhere. He’s had to practice, learn to use his claws gently, he’s had to work so hard at this little side hobby, and it ultimately is what reveals the weak points in Barrel’s foundation. Given the chance at a rematch without all the emotional baggage, Grime could bring this orange bastard down just by playing his fucking harp. Unbelievable. I can’t believe I thought of this guys I’m really not that smart.

#10 Marcy Stands Up To Sasha In Front Of Andrias (Chapter 2)

I had such a TIME with this scene because I fucking hate the trope that you have to be merciful to your enemies and you can’t kill them because it’d make you just as bad as them or whatever as if this fucker didn’t abuse you for as long as you loved him as a father and commit atrocities there’s no coming back from—

The distinction I wanted to make during this scene is that technically it’s more MARCY’S place to torment Andrias here, but she DOESN’T WANT TO. Marcy has hurt people she loves before—I mean what was PMIT all about? But she did it because she believed it was necessary—she didn’t WANT to hurt them. Marcy is not a violent or unkind person by nature, quite the opposite in fact, and she has an emotional attachment to Andrias much as she wishes she didn’t, so of course it’s gonna sicken her to see him a hollow shell of his former self, beaten and broken down and trapped in a tiny cell. That’s enough. And yet Sasha still sees fit to kick him while he’s down. That doesn’t bode well on its own, but what makes it worse is that it’s the first sign of Sasha REGRESSING as a person. She was doing so well in Wartwood, learning to treat her girlfriends better, to be kinder, to be a proper protector instead of a bully, and now she’s acting like a bully again.

Marcy’s been through too much this series to sit by and let this happen, she’s sick and tired of all the pain, and she lashes out. Even despite the fact that it alerts Andrias to her presence, even despite the fact that she has to face him before she’s ready, she still stands up to Sasha. And god I am so proud of her.

#9 The Sasharcy Fight Pt 1 (Chapter 2)

We’re going STRAIGHT into the aftermath of the fight in the dungeon. This entire sequence of events just makes me so hype I had to include both of them.

I absolutely love how my audience responded to this fight. I had previously worried people would be picking sides, but apparently I did a good enough job at making it clear that both sides had fair points. It is TRUE that the toads were watching Sasha and that this was mostly a show for them so they’d learn to respect her a little more, and they ARE dangerous especially if they don’t like her, but it is ALSO true that Sasha went overboard and much of the toying was unnecessary cruelty that Sasha was being encouraged to enact, and this would have a negative impact on her progress on getting better and her relationships. What happens when two parties have two opposing arguments with almost equal merit? Well, they argue. This isn’t just something they can agree to disagree on, this subject has major effects on them both going forward, so they can’t help the little yelling match they get into when all bets are off and it’s just the two of them.

I love this scene because I love the drama, but it has also been a wonderful point of comparison for my character-building on Leif and Barrel. You know I like to parallel, and I LOVE pitting green and pink against each other. First Barrel and Leif, then Wit and Strength, and now we’ve arrived at Marcy and Sasha. People who love each other can fight, it’s normal for them to disagree, but fighting can also make or break a relationship, and it’s really a good indicator of what foot that relationship was on when the effects of a major fight reveal themselves. Barreleif and Wength broke apart, so where will Sasharcy end up?

#8 Marcy Says Goodbye To Andrias (Chapter 6)

It was a little out of left field to write this scene in Grime’s perspective, but I felt like it’d be fitting that Marcy’s father-in-law get to watch the tattered bond of her and her father figure finally be broken.

Anyway this is a BEAUTIFUL development in Marcy’s character, a sign of her finally beginning to move on from the toxicity that was her bond with Andrias. You might think Marcy broke free from Andrias’ grip in PMIT, after betraying him and making amends with her girlfriends, but that cannot be farther from the truth. Going back and revisiting IBYBF 8 reveals Marcy and Yunan’s reaction to a letter from Andrias, and Marcy makes it clear that his words still had an effect on her. But the effect was two-fold—one outspoken, and one invisible. Yeah it made her feel bad, that’s what she complained about, but that feeling sowed even deeper seeds of unrest and guilt and a regression to her former PMIT mindset that by the time they were set to invade Newtopia, Marcy chose to make herself bait knowing full well she was powerless to Andrias. The truth of the matter is she never left his clutches. And it’s too late to go back. IBYBF 11 happened.

I like to make apparent in CMTO that Marcy still holds leftover feelings of love for her former-father-figure, and that it’s complicated. It’s going to take time to move on, but she has to make the choice to do so before she can. That’s what this scene is all about. It’s about Marcy moving on, and it’s about Andrias losing everything too. Everyone he’s ever loved has left him, and here he sits wallowing in his own misery, painfully alone. Marcy was the last one in a long, long line of victims that finally had enough.

#7 The Mansion’s Second Puzzle (Chapter 3)

Oh BOY where to begin with this one?

One of my favorite things about the Wit temple in canon is that every puzzle relies on or impacts the other members of the Wit bearer’s party. The first puzzle kept Marcy safe in a bubble while Anne and her frog family had to fend for themselves as the entire room tried to kill them. The second puzzle required two people to complete, and for Marcy to get the answer RIGHT so she didn’t kill either of them. The third puzzle was a literal Live Chessboard that Marcy had to navigate while protecting her party. And the correct course of action ended up not being to defeat her opponent, but to give up and choose her friends. SO in the Witney temple, I thought it absolutely vital that every test parallel canon in that regard. Tests 1 and 3 required a focus on protecting her sister, but Test 2 is simply impossible unless both are actively working together.

So you get the color rooms. The pair is separated, and to pass each section, they must press the button of the color that the other person’s room is currently glowing. Pretty straightforward right? You might even say it’s EASY. But a Wit bearer would rush in thinking this was too simple for them, and they’d erroneously choose the color of their own room, much like Polly did from the very start. They’d think this challenge was all up to them, that they didn’t need the assistance of their team, and would come to learn that the opposite was true. Thats what makes this particular puzzle easy for ANNE. She already looks out for her friends and values teamwork, so this should be a breeze, right? Okay but this is fucking Heart we’re talking about.

The moment Heart made a mistake and hurt Anne was the moment they decided they needed to be punished. And of course Anne ISN’T going to do that. Why would she? She knows it was just an accident. She’s not like Andrias. But Heart’s mindset has been “I break things, and then you break me” for a thousand fucking years, and they don’t GET why Anne doesn’t want to punish them. So instead they decide to punish themself. And that’s on self-sabotage babeyyyy

I like how Anne teeters closer and closer to losing her fucking shit because Heart keeps trying to be slick and make her hurt them. This test is just perfect for exacerbating that conflict, and I’m so here for it. Also. I love this part.

#6 Andrias Punishes Heart (Chapter 5)

I can’t believe I put this scene on the list.

I had been in a constant back and forth on WHAT exactly I wanted Andrias and Heart’s relationship to be, and I knew I wanted it to be toxic, but I couldn’t pinpoint where that toxicity would come from or how it would manifest itself. I finally started to pick up momentum the first time Andrias hurts Heart, when he squeezes them in his hand, and then this scene really just threw the nail in the coffin. The dynamic I ended up with was a codependent one, but also an abusive one. Heart would act out to seek attention from Andrias, and Andrias would in turn punish and validate them. In an endless cycle. And the awfullest thing about this scene is this is the first instance that Heart tells Andrias something bad they did knowing full well he WILL hurt them over it, and welcoming that outcome with open arms. It’s just so.

Man. I think I’ve analyzed this scene enough in previous posts however, so I’ll shut up about it.

#5 Grime Calls Sasha His Daughter (Chapter 6)

C’mon you knew this was coming. The entirety of Grime’s death scene is something I’m very proud of, but I’m such a sucker for found family, and this line wasn’t even added until I was in the EDITING phase but it hit me like a fucking boulder i almost became the major character death.

C’mon Barrel, give him his daughter back. Please. No don’t fight him no don’t hurt him wait nooo no don’t have him killed why would you do this. I’m gonna go cry again.

#4 Heart Destroys Their Relationship With Their Fellow Gems (Chapter 5)

Ooooooh this one. This is another one where I love the entire sequence of events that snowballs from this one scene. Heart breaks apart their relationship with Leif and the other gems, then Andrias reveals himself and Heart nearly kills Leif, and then Andrias sabotages Barreleif’s relationship, and THEN Andrias tells Heart he loves them in their dreamscape. Like wow. It’s a lot.

The instigator really is just Heart asking the question, the “Do you love me?” one, and then proceeds to enforce Andrias’ rule that one can only love one person on them all, and backs Leif into a corner.

The only reason the relationship between Leif and the gems works is because it’s unspoken. Unofficial. Nobody expects Leif to claim them as her partners, and nobody expects I Love Yous because that would mean making the bond Spoken. Official. So they simply meet, hang out, maybe make out sometimes, but it’s totally just fun, right. No strings attached. Well, now Heart’s sick of no strings attached. They want to KNOW. And who could blame them? They’ve got Andrias jeering at them every turn and they can’t even enjoy these nights anymore because he’s constantly there scrutinizing their every word and their every action, and they need some kind of validation on what exactly is happening here.

Strength answers their question first, an easy declaration that it does indeed love them, and they cling to that and use it against Wit to claim Strength only loves them, and when Strength tries to clarify, it only causes more arguing with Leif and Wit involved. I like to think in this instance, Heart was under the assumption that while it’s wrong for them to love anyone but Andrias, it is NOT necessarily part of the rule that others cannot love Heart, and so this was their way of trying to force everyone else to admit they loved Heart rather than the other way around. Technicalities and all that.

But when Wit instead tries to get Leif to admit she loves her, the situation escalates. Leif has a HARD time saying it because shit, she’s most certainly fallen for the lovable little green gem, and she doesn’t want to hurt Wit by denying it, but this goes against her own principles because she has a FIANCÉ. Seeing this, Heart pushes her further by pointing it out and snapping at her, and by this point she’s had enough of their shit and she so nearly loses it, and everything goes silent for a moment.

She takes a pause. Realizes what she’s so nearly done, and she folds. Restates her love for Barrel and thereby denies her love for the gems, and from there the relationship falls apart at the seams. And from there the chain reaction of horribleness ensues.

#3 Marcy Breaks (Chapter 4)

This one is on here because it makes a callback to PMIT, that is the only reason.

No but I wrote this section before I even finished the scene in the actual Core room itself because I couldn’t get it out of my head and I was going feral because holy shit Barrel actually got Sasha to LET GO of Marcy and she was retraumatized all over again and boy I sure do love traumatizing Marcy. Except, this Marcy has come so far and yet fallen so much that this one just. Breaks her. There’s no hiding her emotion or comfort in her girlfriends or putting the feelings off for later, no, she falls apart right then and there, loses all touch with reality and lets herself shatter to pieces. She’s bitter that Sasha made her promise such a thing only to do this, she’s sad, she’s angry, and she doesn’t want to leave Sasha, but now she’s confronted with the reality that she HAS to. She can’t stay here anymore. All it’s going to do is torture her more. And Marcy cares a little more about herself now than she did in PMIT and IBYBF.

#2 The Sasharcy Fight Pt 2 (Chapter 4)

Marcy admits that she needs space from her girlfriend and I am HERE for it. Of course I don’t want them to permanently break up (or do i) but i have desperately wanted to drive some kind of wedge between the girls, one that’s well-deserved and one that’s SASHA’S fault this time, and most importantly, I needed a way to get Marcy out of Newtopia. Marcy would never willingly leave her girlfriend behind, she just doesn’t have it IN her. But what if I created a scenario so toxic for Marcy that she’d have no choice but to leave to keep their relationship in tact? I knew I wanted to push Sasha over the edge from the very start. From IBYBF 1, even, I wanted sasharcy to get into a fight that was so bad they’d never be the same, and it’s all been building up to this. This fight isn’t even entirely Barrel’s fault—Sasha still has her autonomy in tact, still has enough of her mind that she can’t blame it all on the voice in her head. And she is HURTING Marcy.

The first part of the fight was to introduce the opposing sides, to bring to the table exactly what they conflicted with, but the second part is the tragic conclusion that one side has indeed gone too far. Marcy knew Sasha was in a tough position, but she was holding onto hope that Sasha would be able to overcome the spiraling purely out of love. And sadly, she wasn’t. WJH is a series about each of the girls going through their own self-destruction arc, so it’s not like Sasha’s a lost cause. This has happened before. This is nothing new. What IS different, however, is that they are down one girl. Marcy is by herself facing Sasha, and Sasha is directly harming her over and over again. Things might’ve been very different had Anne been there to help Marcy intervene, but she isn’t awake yet. So instead of making progress with Sasha, Marcy’s turned to avoiding her. She knows staying around Sasha while she’s like this will only speed up the process of ripping them apart, and she can’t bear it. So she spends her time with her Newt moms, spends her time doing side work around the castle instead of doing her Keeper work, because she knows it’s only going to make her spiral. She thinks she’ll catch some kind of a break like this, because she NEEDS space, and instead Sasha takes it as misbehavior, and she takes her anger out on her.

This time, Sasha IS in the wrong. There’s no way to justify her behavior, she’s being unreasonable, and Marcy’s finally had enough. So she snaps. She tells her the truth of her feelings, that she doesn’t LIKE this new Sasha, and that she’s not happy. And it is crushing. Almost as crushing as— Mal shut the fuck up

#1 Marcy Holds Witney (Chapter 2)

WHO HERE IS SURPRISED. NOT ME!!!!

Guys im OBSESSED with Marcy and Witney’s dynamic. I had never intended them to grow so close when I was writing IBYBF, but once I started I couldn’t stop. Both of them are incredibly damaged people, still love those that hurt them, and are in dire need of some therapy.

Obviously I knew Witney’s past was going to be sad, what gem’s isn’t? But Heart was getting a whole chapter dedicated to teasing how horrible their past was before the first backstory chapter, and I wanted to dedicate as much time to Witney as possible before her piece of the backstory comes out. See, Heart was always willing to share, but Witney is VERY closed up about her past, and opening up is going to take time, take her and Marcy getting comfortable enough to share. I’m gonna force Strength to share but you didn’t hear that from me. So how do we get Marcy and Witney closer? They’ve gotta show some vulnerabilities first.

As the author, knowing what Witney’s backstory is makes this scene the ULTIMATE emotional catharsis, because it marks the very first time one of Witney’s vessels has truly and genuinely been kind to her, gentle with her, SEEN her as a person. And that might serve a purpose to make me cry on its own, but the best thing about this scene is that Marcy being allowed to finally get so close to Witney means that she gets to find every crack in her gem form. These are scars from a time long past, one she keeps well-guarded, and now she is allowing Marcy a glimpse into them. I particularly like how Witney reveals their gem forms can only be harmed if the harm is inflicted by their vessel, as they’re only present within said vessel’s dreams. So her claiming Heart is extremely damaged and that Strength isn’t at all implies SO much more about their pasts. And by the time the Heart chapter rolls around, it’s easy to see these implications reinforced further. Strength received a much kinder vessel in Leif while Witney ended up in Barrel’s claws and Heart in Andrias’ cruel, cruel hands.

I also love how this scene demonstrates not only how Witney responds to abuse, but also how she views Heart. She knows the things that happened to her were bad, she knows her vessels were BAD, but she’s grown accustomed to her tendency to get trapped inside greedy and evil people, so she doesn’t even see the tragedy in it like Marcy does. But by the same token, she knows what happened to HEART was also bad, she views it as WORSE than what she’s been through, and it’s a huge piece of the puzzle that is her resilient love for them despite all the terrible things they’ve done. Witney truly feels sorry for them, and has for all these years, and she knows no other way to express her sympathy than to continue to love them while they destroy her over and over again.

She’s used to others not caring about her feelings. Used to suffering alone, in silence, so what makes this scene so poignant is that Marcy CRIES for her. The second she learns just the mere fact that Witney’s been the victim of abuse for those centuries, she falls apart, because she’s been the victim of abuse too, and worse yet, she’s been the CAUSE of some of Witney’s pain, and she didn’t even know it. To know that her gem has suffered so much and that she’s contributed to that suffering is devastating. She thought she’d gotten better since PMIT, but the impacts of her actions continue to ripple through even now, and she can’t do anything but promise to be better. To never treat Witney the way her previous vessels did. She will never be the cause of Witney’s suffering again, she swears it.

And with that one promise, Witney decides it’s time to trust Marcy.

Can you tell I’m about to start crying again because I AM.

anyway that’s the end of the list! Wow! I spent two days on this—

No but genuinely CMTO has been such a treat to write and I am so looking forward to the rest of it, because I love these characters so much. I can’t say I was surprised that I had such a tough time picking favorite scenes, because god do I love rereading CMTO chapters when I’m too tired to do anything else. But revisiting all this stuff was really fun too. I love analyzing all my Too Many Thoughts Brain Full moments that were scattered everywhere in this story. Thank you for the ask! I enjoyed it :3

[bunnys-beetlejuice-blog]

been a while since i posted a fic update! anyone wanna read some cowboy au nonsense? sure you do! well here it is

The blinding, unforgiving midday heat is enough to raise blisters on the skin. Looking out over a crowd of folks booing him, calling for his demise, probably should have had some kind of emotional impact. On the occasion of one’s death, after all, one does expect tears. Flowers, laid out in lace, dark veils and coal black clothes, a few muffled sobs from those further back in the funerary procession, unable to contain themselves. Instead he’s met with the dusty faces of former neighbors and strangers alike, all eagerly waiting to hear the exact tone and pitch that his neck will make when it snaps.

Bored, he turns his attention from the crowd, and watches a lizard scurry across the wooden planks of the gallows, as a man to his right fits a rough bit of rope around his neck. It scratches, but he doesn’t react, not feeling frightened or even especially interested. A similar rough twine is binding his hands together behind his back, keeping him from having any viable way to save himself. The crowd is calling for blood now. Hangings generally are not gorey affairs, but he did once see a drop too sudden and a rope so long that the fella wasn’t just hung, he was decapitated. Beetlejuice glances back down at the crowd, tries to imagine what direction his head would roll if that happened here, and smirks, because it seems to him the last thing he’d see would be the view from inside the skirts of some of the women standing front and center. Not the worst last sight a man could have. “You think you could hurry this along?” he asks the man fitting the noose around his neck. “Sun’s beatin’ down somethin’ fierce an’ I ain’t got my hat.” His personal possessions are back at the sheriff’s office- hat, bandana, silver plated, pearl handled pistol, and his custom belt buckle, just about the nicest, and maybe only, thing he ever paid for. God damn corrupt lawman’s probably gonna pawn his stuff as soon as he’s swinging. Maybe before. Maybe his last worldly possessions are already gone. S’not like he’ll need them, where he’s goin.

A face he recognizes is led up from the crowd, an ancient wizened body tanned for years by the all too eager sunlight and scorching sands. It’s the local preacher, who he remembers from his formative years. The old man used to give him bread and plain, unseasoned chicken in return for listening to him talk about god, and if he hadn’t been nearly starved to death half the time, he might have spat in the old man’s face. Shouldn't charity be done for the sake of charity, not proselytizing? He’d said so once, and that was the last meal the old miser had given him. Jackass.

“Beetlejuice,” the preacher begins. His name is said with disdain and a curled upper lip. It’s one of the reasons he chose it, honestly. “You still have time to repent, young man. I remember you, as a child, bright eyed, curious about the kingdom of heaven.” Well now, that’s the very definition of taking artist liberty. “Now, here, you have one more chance to repent, to accept god’s mercy, and avoid the lake of fire.” The crowd is watching, waiting to see if he will confess his remorse. Beetlejuice hums, rocks on the balls of his feet, and then sighs. “.. C’mere,” He mumbles, jerking his head to indicate the old man should step closer. The holy man does. “I got a lot to confess to, preacher man, an’ not much time.” His voice is soft. The ailing man can’t hear him, steps closer, if only a little. “So much to confess to, in fact, I oughta just… Skip th’ whole thing an’ go straight to hell!” And Beetlejuice reels back, and then slams his forehead into the old man’s face. The sickeningly satisfying crunch of cartilage tells him he’s broken the preacher’s nose, as the elderly man falls back, crying out in pain, blood gushing from his new wound. The crowd roars, furious, and he grins, and laughs. “Ain’t no good extendin’ your pious pity to me!” he calls, gleeful, as he’s pelted with whatever the people watching can get their hands on, and the old man is helped, taken away, led off of the platform. “Enough, enough, we will have order!” a lawman cries, coming up the gallow steps, to stand in front of the outlaw. It’s enough to get the crowd to settle, or at least stop throwing things. There’s still a bad energy in the air, which Beetlejuice can taste on the tip of his tongue. His smile is rictus, he’s delighted to be the cause of it all.

“This man has been tried and found guilty,” the lawman continues. The trial had been very short, and his incarceration shorter. He understands he’s being made an example of to other outlaws, bandits, and trouble makers. They intentionally didn’t give him any time to plan anything, or for any coconspirators to come and assist him. Joke’s on them. They could have taken all the time in the world. Ain’t nobody alive who cares for this outlaw. Not a soul who would dare to come and stage a rescue. He’s utterly alone. “He’s allowed his last words. Clearly,” the lawman turns, eyes Beetlejuice, who smiles flirtatiously. The other man’s expression shifts from annoyance to disgust. “He’s disavowed the advice of Pastor Neighbors.” “M’not so sure you’re usin’ that word right, friend,” Beetlejuice snorts, but he’s ignored. “Any last words?” the hangman to his right asks, his hand itching to grip the lever that will drop the floor and finally, finally, release the outlaw from the confines of mortal life.

Beetlejuice grins.

“If any of you have a message for th’ devil, give it to me!” he shouts, with a cackle, and he watches in rapt and morbid delight at the way the faces in the crowd twist. “I’ll carry it down to hell for you!” The crowd is furious enough it almost seems to him they’re going to storm the platform, and maybe beat him to death. The wave of gasps from the women folk is particularly amusing.

“Enough of this!” He hears the voice of the lawman, disgusted, and the hangman must agree, because the last thing he hears is the lever being thrown, and the floor gives out under him, and he’s falling, falling, falling.

His ass hits a chair.

There’s a moment of blinded confusion, because he's gone from the unbearable dusty sun of midday California, to a cool, dark, musty smelling interior. His eyes need a moment to adjust to the change. He’s sitting in a room he doesn’t recognize. The chair under him is plush, but just thin seated enough to be a tad uncomfortable. He squirms in it, confused, and finds his hands are still tied behind his back. He turns his head. Seated across from him is a young woman.. Well, little girl might be more accurate, she’s maybe fourteen. There’s a wicked looking hoofprint emblazoned on her right temple. The blood that’s leaking from the wound has gone a sickly old color. They stare at each other. “Did that hurt?” she asks, first, and he squints, because he’d been about to ask the same question. Her hand has gone to her throat, as she looks at him, and he looks down, pressing his fat face into his fat neck to create an unflattering double chin as he does so. He can feel the rope around his neck. He follows the line of it with his eyes, and turns to look up. The rope travels up from him, into the ceiling. It’s still taught, like he’s suspended by it, but his ass is touching chair, his boots are on the ground, and he doesn’t feel choked by it’s presence. He tuts. “Didn’t feel a thing. That hurt?” he tries to gesture to her wound, but again, he’s reminded his hands are bound behind him. She stands. “Hurt a bit, but then I got so dizzy I didn’t hardly feel it, after,” she tells him, and then, like the good little frontierswoman she is, she produces a knife from inside some pocket in the volume of her skirts, and gratefully, he leans forward. She rests a knee on one of the chairs, to get a better angle, as she uses her bowie to cut through the rope at his wrists. “Awful kind of you, half pint,” he tells her, and she smiles. “Ain’t nothin.” She settles into the chair next to him, which is a little surprising, but he doesn’t mind, over all. “You’re an outlaw, then?” she asks. He grunts, and then turns to face her, with a grin. “You probably heard of me. They called me Th’ Ghost, on occasion, cause I could slip away without bein’ caught-” he watches her eyes travel up the line of his noose, and then settle back on his face, a little less impressed than she ought to be. He responds by pinching her nose, and she swats at his hand, and laughs. “I do think I heard of you,” she concedes. “I’m Presley.” “Presley, alright. You got a clue where we are, kiddo?” “I just was told to wait.” “Told by who?”

Across the room, a window he hadn’t registered as being there slides open. This place vaguely resembles a bank, he realizes, and so that means that’s the teller’s window. A woman with a tired expression on a pretty face peers out at him. “Hey, dead beat,” she calls, her accent thick around the words. “Juno wants to see you.” He motions to himself, questioningly. She raises an eyebrow in silent confirmation. “Should I care?” he asks, and her upper lip curls in the most beautiful version of a sneer he’s ever seen. “You’re real funny. Get in there before she loses her temper.” And she reaches up, and slams the window shut.

He looks to Presley, and they both share a little shrug, before he stands, and takes a step. The rope going through the ceiling moves with him, not along any visible track, that he can see, but seeming rather more like a toy balloon on a string, bobbing along as though after a child winding their way through the crowd of a state fair. There’s a door by the teller’s window, and he makes for it, only for the window to slide open again, and that beautiful face to reappear. She looks him over, not seeming particularly impressed, but also not outright cruel. “Where’s your handbook?” she asks. Beetlejuice tilts his head. It lolls a little comically to one side, presumably because his neck is broken. She sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose. “You can’t be serious. You didn’t bring your handbook?” “Listen, lady, even if I had whatever book you’re talkin about, I couldn’t read it,” he counters, and she pauses, at that. “Illiterate. Of course. What’s even the point of the handbook when so many folks can’t read it?” she mutters to herself, and then she waives him at the door, the conversation apparently over. Alright.

The door, predictably, leads to a hallway, a bit unlike anything he’s ever seen before, in terms of sheer length of the thing. It twists around like a snake, and the number of doors along the hall leads him to believe wherever he is, it’s massive. The hallway is empty, save for a man at the far end, mopping, and there doesn’t seem to be anything around for him to tuck into his pockets. Too bad, he mopes, as he carries himself down the hall, boots clacking in a way he finds tactile and pleasant. He passes the custodian, who stares at the floor behind him and sighs, and Beetlejuice looks back to see a mess of dusty footprints he’s left on a previously slightly damp but otherwise pristine floor. With a snort, he spits into the bucket of mop water, and the other man jumps back, disgusted, as Beetlejuice cackles, and continues his leisurely walk down the hall.

At a certain point he realizes he’s got no idea where he’s going, but it doesn’t especially matter. Wherever he is now, whatever version of the afterlife this is, because clearly, that’s what this is, it doesn’t seem to be fire and brimstone and all that bullshit, so he takes it easy, opening doors at random and peeking through. The things he sees don’t always make sense to him, feel like they’re out of place from the world as he knows it. He opens one door, and suddenly he’s staring at what must be a city, but the buildings are so tall they’re touching the sky, going up past the clouds, up into the heaven he doesn’t believe can really be up there. The people are dressed strangely, men and women wandering around in little more than underclothes, which he likes, instantly, and the streets are black with painted yellow lines, instead of dust and earth. Some kind of metal.. Something, a trolley without a track, moves on it’s own down the street, and he catches a glimpse of faces inside. He gets lost in the contents of this door, staring for a long time, entranced, and then it’s slammed suddenly. He turns, catches sight of the custodian with his hand on the door, and growls, an animalistic sound he didn’t know he could do. And then he stops, and turns to look, because the custodian is still a ways behind him, mopping with spit water. It’s the same man. “You don’t need to go poking your snout into places it doesn’t belong,” the man says, simply, and then in a blink, both versions of him are gone from the hallway. Maybe that’s just an… afterlife thing.

He reaches, after what feels like a boring and dragging eternity of twenty whole minutes, a set of saloon doors, the swinging kind. There’s a void of blackness behind them, but the draw he feels is unmistakable, and he pushes them open, and walks through. Instead of a room black as ink, he finds himself… standing on the wooden porch of a bar he remembers frequenting fairly often, in his younger days. At least, he has clear memories of walking into the bar. How and when and why he ended up outside of it, well… whiskey has a hell of an effect on a man’s memory. It’s a fairly chilly desert night. The chirping of crickets and the long ways away lonely baying of a dog is a sort of familiar comfort, but god damn it, he’s just left this world. He wasn’t intending on coming back to it, ever. The dusty streets are dim, illuminated only by the moon, the stars, and the few lamps still burning in windows. The town is quiet.

On the dirt road in front of him is a woman, staring at him. She’s small, older, nicely dressed, with hair shorter than he’s ever seen on a lady, and a mouth sort of like a toad, long and downturned. There’s an unlit cigarette between her fingers. She’s watching him, curious and apathetic all at once. He returns the look. “Juno, then?” he grunts, stepping off the porch. No dust lifts when his boots hit the unpaved road, which he notes. Maybe he’s not really here. Maybe he’s a ghost. Fitting.

“Lawrence “Beetlejuice” Shoggoth,” she says, as he comes to stand in front of her. “Took you long enough. You realize I’ve been waiting here for days. You get lost, or something?” Her tone is sharp, like a schoolmarm with too much on her hands and not enough energy for it all. He feels a little sheepish, if only because no, he hadn’t realized that. “Gimme a break,” he says, instead of an apology. “I just died.” “Like that makes you special,” she huffs, and then, waving her unlit cigarette in his face, machine rolled, not hand, he notes, she asks, “Have you got a match?” He produces one from one of the many pockets of his moss green duster, strikes it on his thumb, and holds it up for her. She has the decency to look grateful, as she leans in, cigarette to her lips, and lights it from that little flame. “So,” she exhales smoke, and it curls from the corner of her lips, and out a previously unspotted slash to her throat. No wondering how she died, then. Speaking of, he glances up, to see that his noose is no longer floating above his head, and turning, he catches sight of it dragging on the ground behind him, long and snake-like in the way it’s twisted and coiled. Juno snaps her long red nails in his face, brings his attention back to her. “You weren’t supposed to die, you know. You’ve mucked things up for me.” “Whut?” he grunts, a bit thrown. She rubs her temples. “You were supposed to go in your seventies. Catch tuberculosis and wither away in obscurity. How old are you?” “Thirty four, or abouts,” he croaks, and she takes another drag. “You let yourself be caught,” she accuses. Well.. yeah. But how the hell does she know that? “I got pinned down in a shootout. Lucky they didn’t blow my head off, right then.” “You’ve gotten out of worse.” She looks almost.. Disappointed. “And then you put down your weapons, instead of fighting it out.” “I was surrounded.” “You were sloppy.” “What’s it to you, anyway?” he growls, again low and animalistic, which Juno ignores, as she walks circles around him, studying him. “You let yourself be caught, and you let yourself be hung. You didn’t even try to get away. You might not have killed yourself, but you let them kill you, for you,” she says. “And it’s giving me a hell of a time, both because it’s changed you, and because I have to put you somewhere, Beetlejuice, and now no one knows where you should go.” “So what does that mean?” “It means, my little statistical outlier, that you’re going to be staying up here, probably a lot broader a time than it would have taken you to just live your life and die at seventy,” she sighs, rubbing at her forehead. “Which is a shame. Because.. I was looking forward to.. To you. And now we both have to wait longer,” and here, she finishes her circle of him, to stand face to face with him again, and she flicks his ear, the way he always imagined an frustrated mother might. “Because you gave up. You weren’t supposed to give up.” “Wasn't much worth livin’ for,” he says, and it’s got more emotion behind it than he meant to give it. Juno’s hand goes to her throat, and she looks pained. “I guess that’s an inherited trait,” her voice is soft, and he squints at her, confused. Instead of giving him any context for that, she points down the dusty main road. Shining under the moonlight, he can see, vaguely, a dark shape suspended in air, near the gallows. “Go put your suit back on,” she says dryly. “And try not to cause enough trouble that I have to come up here and get after you, understood?” “What part of outlaw ain’t you gettin?” he snorts, and she responds by giving him an affectionate pat to his scruffy cheek, before she takes another drag, and vanishes inside the swirling smoke. He’s left standing on his own.

His “suit” is still hanging, he notes, looking up at himself. He’s strung up on a tall pole by the platform, leaving it free for more use, if need be, with his body on display as a gruesome reminder for potential criminals that this is a hanging town, and they’ve even hung their most despised son. His neck is bent at an ugly angle, a little bulge at the side betraying how exactly his bones had shattered, and his skin has gone a bad color, gray and foul looking. But aside from that, he’s not rotted the way he would think he ought to be. Juno’d said she’d been waiting for days, presumably meaning it has been days since his death, but his body is looking remarkably unbuzzard pecked and unrotted. He shimmies up the pole he’s hung from, his ghostly noose trailing behind him, and the moment he touches his own boot, the world spins, going upside down and inside out in a way that’s too painful to try and perceive.

“Gahh-” says Beetlejuice, because he’s back in his body, which is still being hung by that god damn noose, and he realizes, annoyed, that he has no way of cutting himself down. He kicks, pointlessly, one hand going to the rope at his neck, to clutch it and try to keep it from choking himself again, and the other grabbing at the rope further up, gripping it to pull himself up, give himself some slack, instead of hanging taught. It’s not the most coordinated he’s ever been. At least there’s no one around to watch him struggle.

“Holy shit, the body’s movin!” he hears someone holler. Oh, come on.

Read the rest, right over HERE

[stellocchia]

Okay, holy crap did we get an interesting stream yesterday! Time for an analysis of it!

So, there is a lot of confusion surrounding the stream and, more importantly, c!Wilbur himself. So I wanted to try and interpret this whole thing at the best of my abilities for my own sanity.

Before that though there are a few things we have to keep in mind: 

For something to be manipulation there needs to be intent on the side of the manipulator, which can be quite hard to establish in some cases

A lot of c!Wilbur’s confusing thoughts and constantly fluctuating opinions come from a general lack of knowledge, his own faulty worldview and his incredible overestimation of his own impact in the world, which I’ll talk about more later, more so then what actually would appear to be an intentionally manipulative behaviour

One more thing to point out is that Wilbur sees his life as a spectacle. To him reaching his “desired conclusion” the first time was a victory and he seems to have started on a sort of scripted “redemption arc”, and I mean scripted within the narrative not meta wise, (in which he’s trying to drag Tommy into as well) after he had his self-proclaimed “villain arc” in Pogtopia, however this view is faulty at best...

We also have to keep in mind that c!Wilbur is truly a relict from the past at this point. He places an incredible amount of value on “factions” and “leadership” and has a very black and white world view, but things have changed a lot since he was around and they’re much more complicated then that now which leaves him with a complete lack of understanding for the world around him and possibly with no tools to correct that lack of understanding

And for last, let’s keep in mind that Wilbur is an INCREDIBLY UNRELIABLE narrator. We cannot trust everything that comes out of his mouth so let’s not take everything blindly as fact

Also, while all I’ve just said is true Tommy is still 100% entitled to not trust him at all and to not be sympathetic towards him, even without considering this stream (and trust me: I’ll get to that one) because their history together is not great. Keep in mind that they were basically alone during Pogtopia and that Wilbur always sorta grouped himself and Tommy together (as in Wilbur considered BOTH of them to be “the bad guys” and BOTH of them to be bad for the server and better off dead) and he was always extremely manipulative in the ways that he used to try and get Tommy to believe his world view as well (and he seemed to adopt a similar behaviour in the stream, but I’ll get to that one later). Sadly that also means that Tommy isn’t a reliable narrator at all for what concerns Wilbur...

Okay, now with all the introduction out of the way the proper analisys will be under the cut! Be advised that it’ll treat some very heavy topics (like abuse, manipulation etc) so, you know, keep that in mind.

The stream I’ll be using for this one is: Meet the latest resurrected gentleman of L'manburg, though I may take some things from: Wilbur Is Revived.

The stream starts with Tommy and Wilbur meating up on the glass covering the L’Manburg crater. Right after we have a bit of banter with Wilbur openly mocking Ghostbur, ignoring Tommy’s discomfort at the subject, like always. I wanna say it right now that the dismissal of whatever Tommy is feeling and whatever he says that does not align with Wilbur’s idea of Tommy is not something new. It’s a behaviour Wilbur developed all throughout the Pogtopia times. He may look like he listens to Tommy a bit more during this stream, but he never takes into account anything he says and constantly dismisses anything he feels, so we know that’s not true. Of course, Wilbur is not the only person who exibited this behaviour (Tommy often gets dismissed when he speaks and if re-watching exile taught me anything is that Dream was also very keen on dismissing all of his emotions). 

Also one of the first things Wilbur asks about is his Chekhov's gun, which Tommy moves on from quickly without answering (propably because it got destroyed by Dream while Tommy had it). 

“Hey pu- Hey! Put Friend down!” “Wh-why? He’s gonna come with us!” “I don’t want you... no he could die!” “And? It’s a sheep Tommy, who cares about-” “Calm down man! I know- I know that you have the power of eternity over him, but just put him down!” “No! I’m just saying: who cares about a sheep man? It’s just a sheep. Just come...” “Oh I fucking...” “What?! It’s just a sheep my man!”

Once again dismissal of Tommy’s emotions, but also an introduction to the theme of attachments that seems like will be important once again. This time the conflict that’s introduced surrounding attachments is not about their intrinsic value (like it was in season 2) but it seems to be that of attachments vs ideals. In this case what we’re presented with is seemingly a detachment from Wilbur (though we can’t say if it’s volountary, like in Dream’s case, or just an effect of his depression yet). 

“Tommy... I’m sorry” “Wait what are you- are you gonna kill me?” “No no sorry” “You’re gonna wack me?” “Ignore the Lore Sword, I’m- I don’t- I’m not good at this man. I need to make some apologies. I told you I needed to have a think and I don’t think an apology would ever sum up... uh... what I did here. I mean look at this mess!” *looking at the crater of L’Manburg* “You did this! Well, not all of it, you did a little bit” “Yeah... I didn’t do the glass. But like I think- I think that I do need to, I need to apologize to some people! You know, I’m gonna- I’m gonna make amends!”

Okay, there are a lot of things to unpack here:

1) Tommy’s immediate reaction to Wilbur apparently softening up while holding a sword is to expect to be hit, probably because of residual trauma from exile where Dream would act in a similar manner

2) Wilbur seems to recognise that he needs to apologize to people, but he doesn’t actually seem to regret anything or doesn’t understand WHAT he needs to apologize for (which is the reason why he only apologizes to people he hasn’t hurt, didn’t know or doesn’t particularly care about). He doesn’t apologize to Tommy for example, his “I’m sorry” at the beginning isn’t directed at Tommy as much as it’s a general statement (this could have something to do with him lumping himself and Tommy together as the bad guys of course). Also, remember that idea about Wilbur seeing his life as a show? Well, he did the villain arc so the only 2 possible ways to go after that are a repeat or a redemtion arc... this is him starting in on the second, while not actually believing in it

3) We already see Wilbur giving himself more importance then he actually did have. Tommy explains that he’s only resposible for a small part of the crater, but Wilbur doesn’t know that Techno, Phil and Dream did exactly what he did but bigger later on and assumes that all of it was done by him (probably making him think that he’s had a decidedly bigger impact then he actually did)

“Well I’m in my forties now Tommy, I counted the years man... how old are you now? You must be what, like, 20? 30?” (Wilbur does not seem to be aware of the time dilatation that occurs in Limbo)

It’s also interesting that Wilbur asks Tommy of all people to give him a tour. I mean, the two were close before and Tommy is the only one who stayed by his side through everything, but Tommy already expressed multiple times a dislike for Wilbur even directly stating to his face in the revival stream that Wilbur should have stayed dead. My best guess is that what brought him to ask Tommy specifically despite that was a mix of being still in a similar mindset to Pogtopia where it was the two of them vs everyone else, Wilbur’s paranoia not having disappeared meaning he doesn’t trust anyone else and a sort of dependency Wilbur has developed on Tommy to avoid loneliness.

“No no! Will, you didn’t get a grave. This is just what you left behind” (destruction and a betrayal of trust are the only remains of who Wilbur used to be it seems)

“Here’s the thing Tommy: I know I was bad and I know I can- I know I can redeem myself but you know there’s- there’s a little bit of fun in being bad, you know, I mean, we’ve spoken about this” (callback to “let’s be the bad guys” and further confirmation that Wilbur isn’t truly interested in redemption as he still sees himself in the role of the villain)

The first person that Wilbur apologizes to is Skeppy who fits the category of “person he more or less knew, but never actually wronged”, meaning that one is a useless apology (and Wilbur seems to recognize that when he asks Skeppy to say one thing he did to him). (Also rip Friend Skeppy doesn’t deserve rights anymore).

“He was Ghostbur’s man! And I wish you’d stop disrespecting him” (technically about Friend but more broadly about Ghostbur as well)

“You see I’ve always seen myself as a bit of an iconoclast so I don’t think I’ll be getting involved in the whoel deity section” (Wilbur is canonically an atheist)

The second person Wilbur apologizes to is Jack Manifold, which is also when Wilbur starts excluding Tommy any time there is someone else there as well. Jack honestly fits in the category of people “Wilbur knew but didn’t really care about”, which is why his apology ends up being quite generic and not very accurate to the historical happenings. He apologized for leaving him behind when he got exiled but, once again, that never actually happened. Jack stayed back of his own volition there. He apologized for not granting Manifold Land independence, which would have been up to Dream. He apologizes for leading him into war which he simply never did, because Jack joined after. All this apologies are what Jack wants to hear, but none of them are true to what happened.

Either way, Tommy brings Wilbur to the roof of the hotel and they have quite the important conversation there. Tommy tries to tell Wilbur about when he decided to go see Dream for the last time, but Wilbur entirely dismisses him.

“I know you’ve had your little strife man” “But I died!” “But I don’t- I don’t care” (full dismissal)

They then end up talking about exile (Wilbur specifically is the one to bring it up).

“Tommy, I’ll tell you what, if I was there and it wasn’t that stupid shell of a ghost instead of me I would have struck down Dream right where he stood. We would have disemboweled him. We would have disemboweled him” “You would have killed Dream?” “Together” “Well Tubbo is the one who sent me off... You would have killed Dream?” “Tommy- Tommy! I wasn’t blind, I saw what he was doing to you Tommy... I saw. I saw what he was doing to Tubbo” “I don’t like thinking about it” “I saw what he did to me”

So talks about Tommy’s exile are always something... Tommy still shows clear hesitance in blaming Dream even after all this time and even more hesitance at the idea of someone killing Dream at the time (probably because he still subconciously bleieves that he was his only friend back then). 

Then there is Wilbur who has admitted to know about Dream’s abuse of Tommy and his manipulation of Tubbo and himself (though to which extent for any of these is unclear) and he seems of the idea that: 1) if he was alive he would have been allowed to go with Tommy, which he wouldn’t have and 2) that if he was there they’d have killed Dream. Though he changes his narrative on the second point right after it’s intersting that he thinks he would have been allowed with Tommy because if he was as aware of the situation as he seems to think he is he’d know that Dream “exiled” Tommy specifically to have him alone and vulnerable where he could mold him as he pleased. It wasn’t a political stance like their previous exile, it was a glorified kidnapping.

“After seeing Ghostbur interact with Dream I realized that, no, Dream is not the enemy, Dream is not the enemy” “He-” “This world was not supposed to be inhabited by people of this caliber. Dream is the hero! Dream needs to be let out of here. Dream’s not in prison because he’s a horrible person, Dream’s in there because he dared to try and stop you all. He dared to try and stop you all from gaining all this power because the minute I was gone there was a vacuum, there was opening and everyone just slicked to get in there and Dream was the only one who stood up to them and told them not to. Dream is the one that held my seat for me”

Again, a few things to unpack here:

1) Wilbur somehow fails to see the contraddiction in his own reasoning. “I know Dream abused you, but he is not being imprison because he is a bad person, he was only doing what is necessary” was what his speach boiled down to which is just bullshit plain and simple. But why does Wilbur get to this conclusion? Well because he has faulty information at best to fill in the blanks from the time he was dead and he has a very simplistic worldview where everything must fit neatly into a small little narrative and where people are either “villains” or “heroes” and since Wilbur thinks of himself as a villain and thinks he corrupted anything he came in contact with it makes sense that he would see Dream, someone who opposed everything and everyone previously associated with Wilbur, as the “hero”.

2) We have Wilbur, once again, giving himself more importance then he did have. Wilbur didn’t leave a power vacuum, L’Manburg was rebuilt pretty quickly and all Wilbur left behind was a bit more trauma and, even then, people have done worse since. Wilbur was, in fact, pretty irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Once his story was over people moved on one way or the other and Wilbur simply cannot accept that because he sees himself as a protagonist, but he simply wasn’t around for a long time. 

(Also I really wanna punch him in the face for this one because f*ck him for calling Tommy’s abuser a “hero” to his face, that’s a HUGE d*ck move)

“If Dream died instead of me, I would be in there right now” (again, fundamental misunderstanding of why Dream’s in prison in the first place)

“I didn’t actually really care about L’Manburg, I just cared about, you know, sticking it to the man. Actually I cared about L’Manburg for the sole reason that I could use it to stick it to the man! You ever sticked it to the man Tommy?” “That’s not true” “L’Manburg was a tool, it was a great tool, it worked! You know? It divided so many people man”

Listen, we can debate all day wether Wilbur actually cared about L’Manburg beyond seeing as a tool to achieve his ends or not, but that’s not really important. The important thing to take away from this is that Tommy, Tubbo, Niki, Fundy, Eret and Quackity believed in L’Manburg. They believed in it enough to fight for it. Others as well. So whatever the answer to “did Wilbur care?” is, their experiences are not invalidated because of it. The other thing is that the whole conversation about L’Manburg fully establishes the theme of ideals vs attachment that may be explored more in the future.

“I’m sorry for a lot of things but, Tommy that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna try again” (and here it is. Wilbur shows Tommy the most awful side of him that hasn’t changed all the while pretending to be a completely new man in front of others so they won’t believe Tommy if he tells them. This one is full on manipulation)

“I did care about L’Manburg. I did, I did, but if L’Manburg- a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, L’Manburg would have still been as loved by me if it was called Bim Bum and it was in the middle of the desert” (once again reiterating that it wasn’t about material attchment, but more so about the purpouse of L’Manburg)

“Stick it to the man Tommy! High five” “No! You just said that you loved 'The Man'” (Tommy pointing out the contraddioctions in Wilbur’s reasoning)

“It was like we were a family, you can’t just say that!” “We were a family Tommy. We were. And you know what I guess you just didn’t- I guess you just didn’t have the balls to follow along with me. When I pressed the button you were always against it-” “You blew up our fucking home!” “We’re leaving it behind Tommy, it’s in the past. We’re friends now, we’re friends”

So, two things here: Wilbur seems to resent Tommy partially for not enabling his destructive tendencies seeing Tommy opposing him destroying L’Manburg as him leaving Wilbur behind. And also Wilbur is, once again, dismissing Tommy’s rightful anger, this time in a way that is very reminiscent of Dream (reinforcing the idea of them being “friends” despite having done something that hurt Tommy a lot).

“You’re following me for quite a while for someone who doesn’t care” “*deep sigh* Where are we going next?” (while Tommy is aware that being with Wilbur is not good for him he also seems to not want to leave him either)

“You know I often give him a lot of shit and pretend I don’t like him, because he has a peculiar relationship with Tubbo, but he is a very good man and I stuck up for him because I see potential in him, alright?” “Yeah? What is he, a strong fighter?” “Yeah, well he is- he is a very strong fighter, he stuck by my side, he visited me in exile, he is a good man and he’s helped me”

It’s interesting to see how their opinions diverge. To Wilbur “strenght” is physical strenght and strong ideals. He respects Tommy to a degree because Tommy is not afraid to stand up for what he believes in for example. For Tommy “strenght” is compassion and loyalty. Tommy considers Ranboo strong because he has the strenght to remain kind in a world like theirs where kindness usually doesn’t take you far. And this is the main reason why Wilbur and Ranboo clash, why they are narrative foils: because Ranboo is extremely well loved and secured himself a relatively peaceful life by going against everything that Wilbur believes in. Ranboo is respected and loved where someone like Dream who, to Wilbur, embodies the ideal of strenght is widely hated and he doesn’t understand why because he’s missing so much information.

Third and final person Wilbur apologizes to is Ranboo who falls into the category of “Wilbur didn’t know him”, meaning the apology is, once again, just performative so that Wilbur can move along his perceived “redemtion arc”. During the whole chat with Ranboo Wilbur, once again, mostly pushes Tommy’s presence to the side in favour of the new person, though Ranboo does actually notice Tommy’s constant worry and tension and reassures him multiple times that everything’s fine.

“Everyone I seem to meet seems to have this deep intrinsic feeling of disgust towards me” (no one actually does, this is just Wilbur’s self deprecation talking. Like, Tommy is the only one who has expressed anger towards him so far and he’s still sticking to Wilbur and trying to talk to him)

“Tommy is very suspicious of me because of who I WAS” (this is, once again, manipulation. Trivializing Tommy’s fear and suspicions in front of others while reinforcing them when they’re alone is a way to isolate him from an eventual support system)

“It was big, it was big effects though right? I mean... let’s be honest here” (Wilbur once again overestimating his impact. He did have a lasting effect on people, but nowhere near as he seems to think)

“Tommy I don’t know who you’re tryng to protect here, me or Ranboo” “Ranboo” (yes yes, Allium Duo moment, but also Wilbur seems sort of jealous of the relationship Ranboo and Tommy have and how obvious it is where Tommy’s loyalty lies now)

“You get into people’s heads Wilbur, alright? You’re like a little caterpillar, you go in through their ear, then you hatch a butterfly, before you know it your brain is all colors and flying...” (Tommy lacking proper terminology to describe Wilbur’s manipulation, but still doing a wonderful job at it)

Wilbur spends quite a while interrogating Ranboo on his beliefs and getting progressively more confused about why people (and Tommy especially as he specifies later) love him so much as Ranboo explains his “pick people not sides” philosophy. He seems particularly annoyed by Ranboo soley defining Dream as “bad”, possibly because in the world view he crafted for himself everyone is so extremely divided and he can’t imagine the existence of someone who tries to actively defy that by trying to side with everyone who hasn’t directly harmed his loved ones or himself. At first Wilbur thinks Ranboo must have some ulterior motive for being kind to everyone and is even more shocked at finding out that that’s not the case.

“There’s been more wars while I’ve been dead then when I was alive Ranboo, that’s- that’s a-” “There’s actually been only one and ever since you died and Dream’s been put in prison the server’s actually been peaceful” “So you’re saying that you don’t like me? In the same way you don’t like Dream you’re against me then?” “I- no! No no no, I don’t not like you Wilbur, I don’t like the person that you were. I’m willing- I’m willing to like you now, if you’ve changed”

And here we have Ranboo standing against Wilbur quite directly. Wilbur seems convinced that, because Ranboo doesn’t dislike most people he stands for nothing which, admittedly, Ranboo is quite hypocritical and weak willed, but he is showing the sort of strenght Tommy admires him for here. Ranboo dislikes who Wilbur used to be because he hurt his family, but he is willing to give him a second chance, which is more then even Wilbur ever did for himself. Also, to be fair, once Dream was locked up the server did become more peaceful and there were less wars. Ranboo was right when pointing that one out and the fact that Wilbur doesn’t seem to know it points to his lack of knowledge that he doesn’t seem willing to fix.

It’s also interesting that Wilbur seems to conclude all this meetings in a hurry by asking Tommy to go on with the tour and basically pulling him along... even if it’s pretty clear by now that Tommy isn’t really needed there. Wilbur remembers how to navigate the server without Tommy thanks to Ghostbur’s memories and he ignores Tommy’s presence whenever someone else is near. The only reason why he is pulling him along is because he can and because he uses him to vent and say all the things he lies to others about... so much for his “no lying” oath...

“He’s a follower Tommy! You’re not a follower man! You stand up for yourself, you fight for what you believe in” (reiteration of Wilbur’s idea of strenght which alsoseems connected to worth for him. For him being a “follower” is inherently negative)

“Tommy he felt like the polar opposite of me” (in case we needed more reasons to consider them foils)

Wilbur and Tommy have a fight right after because Tommy’s upset at Wilbur being an ass to Ranboo and completely ignoring him and about his presence just in general. Wilbur is the one insisting for the fight to be physical in a scene that mirrors the Pogtopia pit scene quite a lot while Tommy would have been contented (and would have actually preferred) with Wilbur admitting to his faults. But so far Wilbur hasn’t apologized for his more grave faults even once and he has yet to apologize to Tommy for anything at all and I honestly doubt he intends to at the moment or that he even feel remorseful for anything... they fight and Tommy wins and takes Wilbur’s sword to avoid a repeat of the situation.

“Look at me. No matter what happens, no matter what goes down, today, tomorrow, next week, the week after, the week after next, the fact that I’m alive means that anything that happens along this line I’ve won. I’ve already won. I won when I pressed that button. You can spar me however many times you want for your own personal victories, but, in the grand scheme of things, I’ve already won. And I think, from your silence, you know that”

This brings us back to Wilbur seeing his life as a show and himself as both the protagonist of the story and the villain. The button scene was the ending of his story and he managed to complete it with what he considers his own victory. Of course it’s also a way to put down Tommy in a similar way to how the “you’re never gonna be president” speach worked. Tommy didn’t want to spar with Wilbur in the first place, but he did win. Tommy didn’t want to be president either because, despite Wilbur being convinced that he has his same idea of power, Tommy is quite content to live a simple life with none of the responsabilities that come from having power. In both cases though, Wilbur takes the chance to use the aspiration of the image of Tommy he’s painted in his mind against the real one, by saying thet it’ll be impossible for him to accomplish what he thinks he wants. Doesn’t work anymore though, Tommy immediately called him out on his bullshit even if he was ignored again. Also what’s with Wilbur and constantly asking Tommy to look at him? Is he afraid to disappear if Tommy’s not looking or something?

“You just stick with me man, stick with me. Stick with the winning side. Stick with the side that stands for something, stick with the side that believes in something” (it’s also interesting to note that Wilbur seems to constantly see his life as a conflict adn, right now, he appears to think that it’s him and Tommy vs the world, similarly to how Dream started thinking in prison)

“I thought he had infinite canon lives” (Wilbur seems to have held at least some of Ghostburs naivete it seems)

“Honestly I wasn’t expecting you to have your shit together like this man, I thought you just came on to kill me” (once again Wilbur thinking he’s the center of the world apparently)

“Thank you for that [killing him] by the way. No no seriously, thank you for that! Because if you hadn’t done that I’d ended up living- I would have been exiled with Tommyinnit and then I would have gotten angry at Dream because Dream can’t go around hurting Tommy like that. I would’ve been angry at Dream. I would have tried to fight Dream, which now I see would’ve been a silly move because Dream’s my hero! Dream’s amazing! So I would’ve ended up fighting Dream and then I would’ve been the one in prison and not Dream”

I was kinda surprised that he said all of this to Phil, but I guess he may remember Phil siding with Dream for Doomsday perhaps, so he thinks he can get understanding on all the Dream stuff. He also prefaced this by bringing up something that Phil still feels immensely guilty about meaning he was more prone to listen. Also, again he seems to have a fundamental misunderstanding of what exile was about or why Dream is in prison in the first place but, aside from that, his opinion on Dream just seems to genuinely fluctuate between despising him for hurting Tommy and considering him a hero because he brought him back to life and because he covers the role of the misunderstood underdog who’s trying to do what’s right in the version of the story that he created in his mind. 

“Well yes, but I wouldn’t have stood for Dream’s shit while Tubbo, well Tubbo did stand for it” (see what I mean? Fluctuating opinions. Pretty sure not even he himself is entirely sure of what he feels or think in this regard)

“Oh, Will?” “Yeah?” “I forgot to mention by the way. I, at one point, griefed George’s house with Ranboo and that caused to a chian of events that lead- that- that was kind of why I got exiled more so...” “Okay and Ranboo managed to not get exiled with you?” “Oh no, it was just me” “That’s pretty uh-” “But I stood up for Ranboo. I made sure he didn’t because he was so new and he was, you know, he was-” “Ah, so you got thrown under the bus. Did he not stand up for you? Did he not offer to go with you?” “No he did stand up for me but to, like, to an extent because he didn’t wanna get exiled and that’s fair” “okay... I’m Sure I’ll Get On With Him!”

Wilbur’s obvious distaste for Ranboo shining through again. Also he was pocking in the right direction, but, sadly, Tommy is not the right person to ask this questions to because he fully believes that he deserved what happened to him still, so he won’t be able to explain that the reson why Ranboo wasn’t exiled was because Dream didn’t care about him and the exile was just about gettng him alone. I don’t think anyone aside from Dream has clocked that in quite yet as a matter of fact. Also this conversation has just proven further to Wilbur that Ranboo is the pushover he though he was after all.

After that Wilbur explains to Phil that the reason he lied was because he didn’t want to let him down. He also tries to convince Phil that he doesn’t lie anymore and that he didn’t lie much in the first place, only to address Tommy and go:

“Old Wilbur did a lot of lying Tommy, old Wilbur did a lot of lying”

“Wait did you say there was a counselor on this server that we could talk to?” (Tommy yet again being the only f*cker in the server that genuinely wants to go to therapy)

Also Phil trusts people way too easily. He just confronted Wilbur about lying in his letters for a long time only to turn around and immediately trust him that he is a changed man, even after Wilbur said straight to his face that Dream is his hero. Like... he is supposed to have lived a long ass time, how did he stay this naive?

Will also mentions that he has plans and intends to have both Phil and Tommy in on them as soon as they’re ready. He also proceeds to make it sound like the only reason why Tommy is upset with him and doesn’t trust him is because he was a bit mean to Ranboo which is him, once again, trivializing Tommy’s fears in front of others so that they are less likely to take him seriously in the future. He then asks for a bed and shower which Phil provides. One other thing to note is that Wilbur seems extremely reluctant any time that it comes to going underground, probably due to trauma from living in a ravine in Pogtopia.

“Do you trust me? Do you believe that I’m turning a new leaf Tommy?” (this is not the first time this stream that Wilbur seems to seek out Tommy’s approval and it’s interesting that he doesn’t seem to do it with anyone else)

Once again Wilbur interrupts the visit in a hurry as soon as Tommy tries to explain his side of the story to Phil telling Tommy repedly to go with him. This really seems to be a pattern since it happened every single time, and I’m guessing that the reason is that, once he has given his pieace, leaving Tommy to speak may be detrimental to the manipulation in the long run. 

“Be nice Tommy, okay? Be nice” “Phil, you murdered him” (Lmao)

“Tommy you’re missing the sunrise! You’re missing the sunrise” (for the sun as a symbol enthusiasts)

The two of them then have a very weird argument about stone that it’s literally just textbook manipulation in action right there. At first Wilbur asks for stone then, after Tommy complains a bit, he concedes and switches to cobblestone just to then comment on the fact that stone looks better, but he’s graciously letting Tommy having a say in it. He then expresses that his request is for Tommy to get “all the stone” but making sure that he doesn’t believe that Tommy will be able to do that. Multiple times in fact. He then tells him to get it with Phil because Phil would be able to do so, unlike him. And all of this is just to split up from him in a way that’ll have Tommy still be too busy to explain to anyone about Wilbur. 

“He’s a good kid, he’s a good kid. I’ll be back on the saddle soon... I mean it’s only a matter of times I’ve done it once I’ll do it again” (I do think that Wilbur does care for Tommy a bit, I’m fairly sure about that, but their relationship really sin’t healthy. Also we’re back with Wilbur immediately assuming the role of “protagonist” in his “story” once more)

“Why does everyone like that Ranboo guy? I don’t understand...” (once again, incapacity to understand someone who is so diametrically opposed to him)

“I’m done apologizing” (he didn’t even start. Not in a way that mattered and not to the people who needed it most)

“I don’t know how I was revived” (Wilbur canonically does not know about the revive book)

Wilbur’s stream ends with him checking out Quackity’s book and Wilbur making a whole speach confirming that his idea of power is tied to physical strenght and feeling self assured in the fact that he was “right all along”. Tommy’s stream however was not over yet. 

“I don’t want to try and save the server, I don’t have that in me”

“We need to get the stone... and then we need to stop Will and he hopefully won’t destroy the server” (Tommy being dragged back in the role of the hero kicking and screaming)

“When we did L’Manburg I was a strong guy, a character that could go around and now it feels different. I feel thinner. I feel... don’t have a choice. I don’t have a choice” (once more he lacks the proper words to describe trauma, but he still does a great job of it. He also feels once again like this role was put on him and he has no choice but to oblige)

Tommy later talks about how he won't let anyone put him "through that shit" (manipulation) but that he’ll still get the stone because it would be nice to have Wiilbur be impressed with him. Which is just a great way to let us know that Wilbur's tactic has indeed worked. 

And this is pretty much it!