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rafael-silva · 3 years ago

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in the warmth of your embrace: a tarlos fic

TK goes home to Carlos after a hectic shift, and Carlos takes care of TK in the way the paramedic needs, which partly comes in the form of TK cuddling Carlos and running his fingers through the officer’s soft curls.

for good things happen bingo: tarlos + playing with the other’s hair

emotional hurt/comfort, softness, cuddles, kisses, soft boyfriends, tk and carlos are so in love

2.5k | rated T | on ao3

*****

TK stumbles through the door, dropping his keys into the nearby bowl and lowers his duffel bag to the floor. He toes off his shoes near the entrance, stifling a yawn as he makes his way into the kitchen.

It had been a long, hectic shift, especially for the paramedics. Call after call kept them out of the firehouse for hours, barely even giving them enough time to grab a quick bite in between the radio coming to life with a new call.

He downs half of the cold water he pours into a glass, relishing in the cool liquid running down his dry throat. He loved saving lives, had truly found himself in it, but after exhausting shifts as this one, his knees barely able to carry him anymore, he longed for the moment he gets home to the comfort of his bed, to crawl into the loving and warm arms of his boyfriend.

It was Carlos’s day off, and the officer had spent it running errands and then had lunch at his parents’. Days when both of them aren’t working were a little difficult for them, being apart for many hours. Plus, their schedules haven’t been lining up well lately, making the time apart even harder.

At least when they were both working, Carlos would drop TK off at the firehouse, giving him a chaste kiss and a smile, promising to see him at home. TK returns the smile, reciprocating the promise and with one more echoed between them of please stay safe, they part ways, the knowledge that there are chances of them seeing either other sooner than that on calls bubbling in their stomachs.

But on days when one of them is off work, they try to spend as much lazy time in bed before one of them has to get ready to leave, exchanging sleepy smiles and kisses, mumbled good mornings and stealing some more cuddles under the soft sun rays shinning in through the curtains.

Eventually, though, the love spell has to inevitably be broken when the snoozed alarm rings. With a heavy sigh, one of them gets up, the other watching him with half lidded eyes, still sleepy around the edges. With a series of kisses from the forehead down to the lips, a goodbye is said, both already longing for each other after the first moment of separation.

The excitement at seeing Carlos simmers under TK’s skin, overriding his exhaustion as he climbs the stairs to their bedroom. The house is quiet, and he momentarily thinks Carlos might have fallen asleep, but he soon spots the soft yellow glow originating from the room and knows the officer is most likely still awake.

His gut is proven right when he stops in the doorframe, his eyes landing on Carlos. Carlos is sitting up in their bed, back against the headboard, wearing sweats and one of his old police academy t-shirts. His knee is pulled up towards his chest, an open book resting on his thigh, one TK recognizes is always on Carlos’s nightstand.

But that’s not what really captures TK’s attention, it’s Carlos’s eyeglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose and his loose curls hanging over his forehead that catch the paramedic’s eyes and they linger there.

He leans against the doorframe, arms going to cross over his chest as he watches his boyfriend, a smile spreading on his face. And by the way his curls run wild and free, TK can tell Carlos had just gotten out of the shower.

Carlos is so immersed in the reading material, TK can tell by the slight crease in his eyebrows, but he immediately senses TK’s arrival and presence by the door. There’s always been a tug between them, an invisible string connecting them. They always gravitate towards each other, even in their sleep, their connection cosmic and powerful.

Carlos looks up from his book and a blinding smile takes over his face, reaching his glittering brown eyes.

“Hey, babe,” Carlos greets. “How long have you been standing there?”

“A minute or so,” TK replies as he steps into the bedroom, walking over to Carlos. “I love watching you read, you know that.”

“Mhm,” Carlos nods, a light blush painting his cheeks as he gently cups TK’s face and returns the kiss TK leans in for.

TK sighs happily, allowing himself to feel all of Carlos and to melt against him.

“Welcome home,” Carlos whispers into the small space between them when they separate.

“It’s good to be home,” TK whispers back, leaning into Carlos’s touch and goes in for another soft kiss, resting his hands against the mattress on either side of Carlos to balance himself.

“How was your day?” Carlos asks, watching TK move over to the closet to get changed out of his uniform.

“It was alright, hectic and super busy though,” TK replies as he tugs his shirt out of his pants and starts to unbutton it.

Carlos marks the page and closes the book, returning it to the nightstand. He then goes to remove his round eyeglasses but stops when TK speaks.

“Oh, no, that stays on,” TK smirks.

An eyebrow travels up Carlos’s forehead behind his glasses. “Oh?”

TK shrugs and bites down on his lower lip, his cheeks turning pink. “I like it, you should wear it more often.”

Carlos adjusts the transparent frame as he chuckles.

TK gets on the bed, a knee supporting his body as he leans over to plant a kiss to Carlos’s cheek. “It’s sexy,” he whispers. “And cute.”

“As long as it ticks both those boxes,” Carlos winks.

“Oh, it definitely does,” TK confirms with a wiggle of his eyebrows as he continues to change into something more comfortable. “And I see you’ve finally gotten around to continue it,” he gestures to the now closed book.

Carlos nods. “I had to reread a couple of chapters to get back on track but it’s good, and there was some free time after coming home from my parents’ to really get back into it.”

“Yeah, I would imagine you’d have to do that after months of not having time to read. And how was lunch?” TK asks, slipping an old NYFD t-shirt on and then sweats.

“It was lovely,” Carlos smiles. “Mom and dad really missed you there, though. Made me promise to bring you over for another lunch as soon as possible.”

“I really wish I could have been there,” TK sighs, plugging his phone into the charger. “And here’s hoping our schedules line up better next week so we can do that.”

“Amen,” Carlos agrees. “Come here,” he lifts and opens his arm in TK’s direction. “You’re exhausted,” he adds, noticing his boyfriend is mere seconds away from toppling over.

TK nods, going to remove the duvet on his side and flicking it near the foot of the bed and gets in. The feeling of the soft mattress underneath his spent body is heavenly, but it’s nothing compared to the true comfort he feels as he rests in Carlos’s arm and tucks his face into the officer’s neck.

“I got you,” Carlos reassures, his arm going around TK’s shoulder and pulling him against him even more.

“You always do,” TK replies, brushing a kiss to the exposed skin of Carlos’s neck. “I missed you today.”

“I missed you, too, baby,” Carlos responds and presses a kiss to the top of TK’s head. “Texting will never be the same as seeing you on one of those calls.”

“Yeah,” TK agrees. “And we didn’t do much of that either thanks to the never-ending calls we got.”

“You saved lives, and I’m so proud of you, babe,” Carlos expresses, his voice coated with so much love and admiration for the younger man.

TK replies with another kiss to Carlos’s neck. “I never would have been able to make the change to paramedic without you. You guided me and supported me, your words gave me the final push I needed and your encouragement every day means more than words can express.”

“I’ve got your back, Ty, always,” Carlos vows.

“And I’ve got yours,” TK vows back.

“Is there anything you need?” Carlos asks, his hand moving up and down TK’s arms in the way he knows calms TK.

“Just this. Just you, ‘Los, you’re all I need,” TK replies with a smile.

“You’ve got me,” Carlos says and the kiss he gives TK this time is brushed against his temple.

TK nuzzles closer to Carlos, almost like he wants to disappear into his boyfriend and Carlos understands. On days like these, days that take a big toll on TK, TK is often in need of anchoring and grounding, and Carlos has learned over the months of their relationship that taking care of TK in the aftermath of said days takes on many forms. The officer has also gotten pretty good at knowing how to offer the comfort TK needs without TK having to ask for it.

He would have run a bath for TK and guided him to the bathroom when he returned home, knowing that the warm water and feeling Carlos’s touch would help TK, but after seeing just how tired TK was and how TK so eagerly gravitates towards him, Carlos knows exactly what TK needs.

TK needs to feel Carlos under his touch, to hold him close, to melt into him.

Knowing this in his heart, Carlos shifts, and TK lets out a disapproving noise at the movement.

“Trust me,” Carlos says, slightly pulling back from TK.

TK frowns as they separate, not yet catching up to what Carlos is doing. He realizes Carlos’s plan when the cop positions his body in front of TK’s, his back now to TK’s chest and TK wastes no time in wrapping his arms around Carlos and pulling him close. It’s almost an automatic response, TK needing to be close to his boyfriend.

TK, now holding Carlos, drops a kiss to the back of the officer’s head while running the pads of his fingers over Carlos’s clothed stomach.

Their breathing syncs, slow and steady as Carlos’s hand goes to cover TK’s and he intertwines their fingers together.

TK’s other hand then moves to Carlos’s head and he begins carding his fingers through the soft curls there, Carlos humming in approval as TK weaves through the strands.

TK smiles when Carlos leans into his touch, knowing how much Carlos loves this and how it relaxes him. More than once, Carlos had fallen asleep while TK ran his fingers through his hair as they cuddled in front of the television.

“I love your curls like this,” TK’s voice breaks the comfortable silence that had fallen over them.

He twirls a curl around his finger, watching it scrunch back into place when he lets it go.

“I appreciate your days off because you don’t gel up your hair,” TK continues.

“Oh, is that the only reason you appreciate my days off?” Carlos asks, and TK can pretty much hear the smirk in his voice.

TK chuckles, the vibrations reaching Carlos’s body through their connection, making him smile.

“Not the only reason,” TK replies. “Your cooking is another reason I highly appreciate your days off.”

It’s Carlos’s turn to chuckle, nodding.

“But it doesn’t compare to our mutual days off and all the free time we get…” TK trails off, his voice suggestive and low against Carlos’s ear.

“Mhm,” Carlos agrees in a heartbeat. “Can’t wait for more days off together.”

Carlos lifts their connected hands and brushes a kiss to TK’s knuckles, TK squeezing Carlos’s hand in response. The tension eases and seeps from TK’s body and peace falls upon the couple.

“Feeling better, baby?” Carlos asks.

“Yeah,” TK nods, further anchoring himself through holding Carlos.

Carlos smiles and leans back against TK some more, knowing it’s helping TK.

He doesn’t exactly know what had happened during TK’s shift, if he had a rough call or something of the sort, but Carlos doesn’t push, also knowing that TK might shut down if he isn’t ready to talk about it yet.

Over the course of their relationship, Carlos had learned to give TK some space, that that was the best way to get TK to open up. The months of their relationship have helped Carlos know the difference between TK’s silences, being able to differentiate between those moments when TK is spiraling and needs a hand, and the ones where he’s composing his thoughts and processing his emotions.

There’s subtle differences between those silences, in TK’s demeanor and even engraved in his expressions. And Carlos has learned to tell the difference.

It wasn’t easy at first, his instinct to help TK and to be there for him overriding what he knew was true. Time had proven fruitful, though, and TK started to open up to Carlos more easily and more frequently. Of course, Carlos knew it was also thanks to their developing relationship and the trust built between them, but he also knew not pushing TK to talk had something to do with it, too.

So as TK runs his fingers through Carlos’s hair, gently massaging his scalp as he goes, Carlos knows TK is collecting his thoughts, figuring out his feelings, before talking to Carlos about it.

TK’s process happens in one of two ways, either he goes on a full rant, letting everything sink in as he speaks, usually while pacing back and forth or in moments like these, quiet moments, where it all happens inside his head and it’s those moments he needs something or someone to hold on to.

And Carlos trusts that TK will come to him when he’s ready.

“Wanna sleep, babe?” Carlos whispers.

“In a bit,” TK replies. “Just wanna stay like this for a little longer.”

Carlos nods as TK’s arm tightens around him and he wiggles against TK’s chest, getting more comfortable.

Carlos can tell TK also needs some more time for his mind to calm, for the racing thoughts to quiet down and he’s willing to stay like this for as long as TK needs.

“Thank you for this, ‘Los,” TK whispers, fingers still combing through Carlos’s curls, grounding them both.

“Always, baby.”

Eventually, TK’s heart rate starts to decrease, Carlos feeling the tranquility against his back and he knows TK will soon fall asleep.

“Come on,” Carlos says as he begins to shift, realizing how tired TK is at the lack of response from the paramedic at the officer’s movement.

TK nods and lets Carlos maneuver him, but he pauses, looking at TK.

“Okay if I take them off now?” Carlos asks, his tone a little teasing as he takes hold of his glasses.

TK nods. “I’d hate for them to break. But keep them close,” he winks.

Carlos chuckles, taking off his glasses and folding the handles, gently placing them on the nightstand near his phone.

Carlos switches off the light and the soft moonlight glow immediately shines into their bedroom. They shuffle in bed for a few moments before settling down, Carlos now holding TK, the gesture offering wordless comfort.

Carlos drapes his arm over TK’s middle, pulling him closer into his chest and then brushes a soft kiss to the side of TK’s neck.

“Get some rest, baby, we’ll deal with everything tomorrow,” Carlos murmurs.

TK lets out a content sigh and in the safety of Carlos’s hold, engulfed in Carlos’s scent and everything that is Carlos, he drifts off.

And wrapped in Carlos’s arms, TK is truly home.

(Carlos wearing eyeglasses was inspired by the photo Rafa posted on his Instagram story a while back!)

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justapoet · 3 years ago

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Hi mary! Can I request for tarlos: 37 "How weird is it that I just realized I want to marry you?" thank you in advance! xx

Sara!! Thank you so much for sending this ask! I really hope you like it :)

Prompt list: "How weird is it that I just realized I want to marry you?"

Send me a prompt!

2.2k | read it on Ao3

let's have conversations in the dark

Time seems to stand still whenever you need it to rush, and TK had learned it from a young age. The clocks seem to play a trick and decide not to move the way they're supposed to, just to prove whoever was staring that, even if time is merely a human concept, it still holds power over their existence.

It's something he had learned to deal with, only because he really needed to. Since he was a kid, his father would end up in a hospital, and he would be in the waiting room, staring at the clocks and hoping for the moment he would look back and see that it wasn't too bad to wait in there.

Time would pretend not to exist while TK would ask anyone above their heads to bring his father back home.

And, yet as a kid, TK would stare at the clocks and count the seconds until the time he knew both his mother and father would leave work. He would sit by the kitchen counter with his dinner and stare at the pointers, his leg bouncing and his heart racing, expecting the minute they would walk in through the door and look at his new "super-awesome" dinosaur pajama.

Time would go too fast until they would say it was time for him to sleep, and the nights would go too slow just for him to see that none of them were home by the morning.

Growing up, TK would try to fool the clocks, pretending he was having fun when he needed time to go faster and lying about how boring things were whenever he wanted the minutes to freeze for a few hours. It was silly, he could see, but also endearing ― according to Enzo.

He would slowly learn how to deal with it, though, not playing tricks on time anymore ― he would take a deep breath and just accept things as they were, hoping that the waiting would turn out to have a happy ending. TK would go out for a walk, watch a movie or a random show, or start some new book he had left on his shelf for far too long.

He would make peace with time until the moment he began to wish that time didn't even exist at all.

It was funny when he looked back to see how much things changed in a couple of years. The nights he would wish that never came so he could stay awake a bit more would become his only refugee and shelter from his parents' fights or absence, and the hours he spent crying would be just known for him and the walls. The sunny days he loved so deeply would become torture, people asking why he didn't go out or acted like a typical teenager, enjoying life and the young years.

And when he couldn't even remember how the days passed by, TK would wish the clocks to stop moving. Just for a bit ― just so he could rest. Just so he didn't have to cry for one more night.

It was weird just how that time wasn't a long time ago. And even more when, sometimes, those thoughts would take up TK's mind, hours, and seconds.

He was getting better, though, in both time and misery management. Sure, the clocks still stopped whenever he needed or desperately wanted it to go faster and rush whenever he wanted more time, but he was getting better at dealing with his agony and deception.

Especially when, after a shift from hell, even if it was only a twelve-hour one, TK got to get home to Carlos.

It was a Friday, and the both of them had the weekend off. Although they had planned to take a trip to Marble Falls, less than an hour from Austin, so they could relax and have some time to enjoy each other's company, Carlos getting sick had terminated that they wouldn't get too far out of the house.

Carlos got pretty upset over it, apologizing and saying that he didn't mean to ruin their plans ― and TK had only hugged Carlos close to his chest, trying to take the groundless guilt out of the man's mind. He dismissed every apology, saying that the only thing that mattered was that Carlos would get better so they could plan their trip again.

It had happened on a Wednesday, and TK had taken Thursday off after they had to take a ride to the ER within the late hours of the night ― or early ones in the day, for that matter. Carlos was running out of air and vomiting everything he didn't have in his stomach, and his fever was high enough for TK to cry when waiting for the doctor ― and, when she came, he couldn't get himself to pay attention as he should have.

His boyfriend was whimpering, crying, and asking for them to go home, and TK wasn't strong as he needed to be at that moment. The clocks wouldn't tick by, and Carlos would ask how long they've been there every five minutes, and TK would only wish it was nothing, and he only needed some fluids and regular medication.

TK knew it wasn't too serious ― he was experienced enough to know that ― but seeing Carlos in pain was a hell-sent experience. He would get withdrawn and make himself look small, silently begging for it to stop and searching for any contact TK could offer. TK would offer him a smile, some comfort words, and would caress his sweaty, messy curls just to get a shadow-ish grin in response.

It was worthy, though.

When Carlos got discharged, a few hours after he was admitted, TK messaged Grace so she could talk to Tommy and Judd ― who would tell the rest of the team ―, and Andrea and Gabriel, letting them know that he was okay. Both Grace and Carlos' mother had offered to make them some soup, and TK knew better than decline any offer, sending a thumbs up and a heart.

Against his will, he had gone to work Friday morning, his heart getting lighter when Grace knocked on their door minutes before he had to go. Carlos was still sleeping, curled upon himself, and TK pressed a kiss to his forehead before hugging Grace tight and leaving to the fire station.

And no matter how much he trusted Grace or how deeply he loved his job, he had spent the whole shift staring at some clock whenever he could. He wanted to go home, ask how Carlos was doing, and then let the other man curl himself against his side to feel some sense of protection ― he just wanted to see his boyfriend again and make sure he was there.

So, TK had taken a shower at the station before accepting Judd's ride to get Grace and check on Carlos, thanking God when he waited in the car, and Grace was already by the door. He loved them both, he really did ― but he didn't want to be cordial at the moment.

TK walked up the stairs silently, thanking God that their room was further in the hallway than it was in the condo they'd lost to the fire. His bag and shoes were left by the locked door, and he had thrown his hoodie somewhere in the living room.

He stepped lightly inside their bedroom, smiling fondly at the sight of Carlos lying on his back with one of his arms thrown over his face and the other in the vacant space that belongs to TK. His chest was rising and falling more smoothly than it was on the two previous days, and the paramedic couldn't help but sigh in relief at that.

Not wanting to wake his boyfriend up, TK made his way to their bathroom to take his clothes off, except for his boxers, and brush his teeth, stretching his back and letting the day settle behind him. Knowing he wouldn't fall asleep so easily ― worrying was inevitable ― TK walked to the bookshelf they had in their bedroom, taking one of the books he had bought and had yet to read it.

Then, he took his steps to their bed, where Carlos had already moved his arm from, and sat with his back pressed against the headboard, taking one of the blankets and covering his legs. He smiled at the man beside him before making himself comfortable and opening the first pages of the book, sighing in relief to be home.

TK didn't make it to the third page when Carlos groaned and turned his body, stretching his arm and loosening it to fall over the paramedic's lap and the book he was reading. TK blinked in surprise, turning to Carlos and then chuckling softly, his heart swelling with how much he loved that moment.

"Miss'd 'ou," Carlos grumbled, getting closer to TK and making him slip down a little so his boyfriend could hug his waist, at least. The paramedic closed the book, then, putting it over the bedside table, and turned lowered his eyes again, watching Carlos' sleepy face.

"I missed you, too, babe," TK said. "How are you feeling?"

It took Carlos a bit to process the question, his fogged brain still too deep in unconsciousness. When he did, he snuggled even closer, his head almost placed over TK's stomach and his arm not hugging him but still thrown over his frame.

"I'm good," Carlos said. "I missed..." he stopped, almost drifting to sleep again. TK thought he would, but then he took another breath, leaning closer to TK's fingers on his hair. "You," the man completed, and TK smiled fondly.

"Me too, love," TK said. "Are you comfortable like this?"

"Uh-hu," Carlos answered and then frowned. TK watched, his fingers scratching his boyfriend's nape. "Are you― I am not― the door," the man grumbled, and TK noticed he wasn't in their room anymore but somewhere in his sleep-fogged mind.

"What?" TK asked anyway. Carlos groaned, and TK thought he would pull away, but he seemed to think twice and froze in place.

"Did you get the... the rings?" Carlos mumbled, and TK frowned with a smile.

"The rings, sweetheart?" he asked, moving down a bit each second to be lying down like Carlos. His neck would be thankful in the following morning.

"Yeah," Carlos agreed, and TK was more than sure that he didn't know what he was agreeing to.

"Which ones?" TK asked again, watching as Carlos' lips parted so he could breathe better between each sentence.

"The... Uh," Carlos mumbled, now against TK's chest. "Saturn," he completed, and TK held back a chuckle that could wake him up. Instead, he passed his arm around Carlos, hugging him close, and took another of the blankets to cover his boyfriend.

"Saturn? I don't think I have them, love," TK said, an inch of supposed sadness in his voice. When he thought Carlos had fallen asleep once more, his boyfriend snuggled even closer.

"'ts okay," Carlos said. "Love you," he mumbled, and TK's breath got caught in his throat as if it was the first time he had heard Carlos say that he loved him.

He looked down at the man cuddled around him, and his mind settled with the peace he hadn't felt in forever. Time, well-known for its games and tricks, seemed to realize just how wide, gigantic, and precious that moment was, stopping in its tracks and lingering in the air just like those promises TK never dared to break apart.

Suddenly, there was silence and a quiet realization of the loudest of TK's feelings ― suddenly, there was just who they were, in all their greatness and insignificance, and it was enough.

It was enough, and it was real. Unlike the concepts of life, death, time, it was real, tangible, there, and theirs. Unlike the unknown presence of an unexistent villain, the clocks seemed to realize that there was something there that no one could ever put in words. Unlike all the demons, and the waiting rooms, and the sleepless nights and the feeling they hold, there was peace.

And there was a certainty TK could never see coming.

So, he smiled because there was nothing else to summarize what he was feeling.

"How weird is it that I just realized I want to marry you?" he whispered to the silence, Carlos' breaths slow and steady, indicating how he was already deep in his sleep. TK sighed, staring at the man he loved as if he was the most precious thing to be something on Earth, and lifted his head to press a kiss to the messy, brown curls.

He stretched his other arm, then, and took Carlos' hand in his, watching as, unconsciously, his boyfriend's fingers tangled around his own, a sigh escaping from his parted lips.

"I love you," TK confessed, his voice echoing in the room. "And I'll get the rings, too. Soon," he said again, his heart thundering in his chest with how sweet and sure the words sounded out of his lips. Carlos didn't move, and TK closed his eyes so he could join his lover in his sleep. "Promise."

And time didn't dare to rush their beating hearts, lulling them to sleep in peaceful silence and a glowing ticking of frozen clocks.

#tarlos #tarlos fic #carlos reyes #tk strand #prompt fic #my fic #prompts #my writing #my fics

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morganaspendragonss · 3 years ago

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The Broken Soul of TK Strand (1/?)

so, that bonus fic i mentioned. i cannot take credit for it - it is a translation of 'la esencia rota de tk strand' by road1985, which in turn was inspired by my fic, 'out, damned spot'

i am so grateful to the original author for not only taking the time to write something based on one of my works, but also for allowing me to discuss the plot with her and translate it into english, especially when i am still learning her language. the only thing of this that is mine is the translation, and i sincerely apologise for any mistakes on this front 💚

ao3 | 3k | hurt tk, worried carlos, rituals, kidnapping, angst and hurt/comfort

The man leaned out from the alley and watched the scene. He had spent so much time preparing, he had carefully chosen the victim from many candidates weeks ago, and now it had all gone to shit because of a cigarette and some curtains embroidered by an old woman for her grandson.

He liked the fire. It was erratic, unpredictable, and powerful, just like his Lord, just as he himself aspired to be.

He watched the flames and longed to get closer, to touch them and know first hand the home of his master. But he still wasn’t prepared; he was missing one more sacrifice, the last one. He just needed one more soul, and then the doorway to hell would be open for him.

But it wasn’t just any soul he needed; he couldn’t choose the first stranger who crossed his path. That would be too easy - his Lord had told him so in dreams. To open the door to hell, he had to find pure souls which were close to the dark side, good souls that had been through horrible experiences and whose pain could be extracted together with their body’s vital liquid.

With each one of the souls he had already extracted, he had improved the ritual a little more. It was becoming cleaner, more discrete, and it seemed that the police still hadn’t found the other three bodies. With luck, he would finish the ritual before that happened.

But because everything couldn’t be perfect, the fire had ruined his plans.

He had spent days researching the people living in that building. All of them had problems, but David Archings was his target. An orphan and divorced, it was said that his parents died because of him, and this had destroyed his marriage even though the police found no proof. Now he lived alone in a small flat where no-one ever visited him.

He was a sad man, consumed by grief, and few would miss him.

But the fire had taken him before he could do anything, and this delayed his plans.

Or not.

Whilst he watched the flames consuming the building, the firefighters arrived. They worked quickly and in a matter of minutes, the fire was under control and almost extinguished.

He hated these people who always destroyed the work of his Lord. Who were they to put out the flames of the kingdom of darkness?

On more than one occasion, he had thought out teaching the firefighters a lesson, showing that that they weren’t and never would be stronger than the power of his master.

But there were always so many of them, always with police involved. For someone who enjoyed going unseen and carrying out assignments quickly, it would be too complicated and too much work to hurt them.

Despite everything, that night, the cards played a very different hand, one which could solve all his problems.

In that first moment, he didn’t know why he noticed the young paramedic, but there had been something about that that caught his attention. He had a special aura, which changed from dark to light and dark again, depending on the moment.

It was easy to focus on him. If men interested him, he would say that he was truly attractive. If he were searching for a pretty face, there was no doubt that the boy had it. He didn’t know him at all, but he could tell that he had a sad smile which hid fear and regrets - exactly the kind of darkness that he wanted and needed.

“TK,” an older man said, one of the firefighters who, judging by the resemblance, was clearly his father. “We couldn’t have done anything even if we had arrived earlier.”

“I know, but I can’t get the idea out of my head that it was my fault we got here late.”

“It could have happened to anyone.” The older man put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “You are one of the best firefighters I know, and now one of the best paramedics. We all have the right to make mistakes sometimes.”

The man began to see some of the darkness he needed for the ritual, but he needed more.

Another man, a police officer, came closer to the young man and opened his arms. The firefighter buried himself in them and the officer kissed his head. It was obvious that they were a couple; they weren’t hiding that they were together, and there was a great love between them. The officer was worried for the paramedic - it almost seemed like it had been taken from a romantic novel.

“Ty, your father is right. You shouldn’t blame yourself for what happened. Tommy said that the man was dead before you got here.”

“I know, but I always think that it’s not fair, that things could have gone another way.”

The man smiled; the paramedic blamed himself for these two deaths but it was easy to see that he carried more guilt inside him.

“When these things happen, I remember what happened to me. If it hadn’t been for my dad always worrying about me, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

“That’s a thing of the past and, look, thanks to it, you are here. Have you thought about it that way?” The police officer kissed him and they hugged again before leaving.

It was incredible. He had only thought about taking a soul who was close enough to what he needed. But that paramedic who had been a firefighter, that TK, was exactly what he needed. He was a broken soul, an aged vase in danger of shattering into a million pieces. A firefighter, perfect for punishing those meddlers, and, further, in a relationship with a police officer.

But he was surrounded by people and in the middle of a shift; he wouldn’t be able to take him that night. His master had taught him to have patience, so he let him go, taking note of the firefighters’ station number, so he knew where he worked.

The idea that he would have the soul he was sure was the perfect subject excited him greatly. He didn’t want any mistakes or to find him with a perfect family at home, so he decided to wait and do things right.

TK didn’t sleep well that night. They returned to the station after the fire, but he needed time to get to sleep and he woke up many times. When he finally did manage to sleep, he had nightmares about the idea that they could have saved those two strangers.

It wasn’t his fault, not directly at least, but if he had been ready earlier, if he hadn’t forgotten to replace the bandages in the ambulance, they would have arrived on time. Maybe then things would have turned out differently. He couldn’t be sure of course, but the nightmares did nothing but tell him just that.

He got up. Everything was still; with a little bit of luck nothing else would happen and they could finish the shift calmly and go home. But this didn’t make him feel any better, so he made himself a tea - if he had a coffee he wouldn’t be able to sleep a wink - and left the station. There were barely any buildings around it, so there was always a beautiful view of the sky.

A little while ago, they had placed some deck chairs on the small back patio and TK sat on one, with a blanket around his shoulders as it was a cool night. He drank the tea slowly as he watched the stars; they never changed, no matter what happened below. Whether people lived or died, the stars remained unshakeable and, in a certain way, this comforted him.

He liked the idea that there were things that couldn’t be changed, things that always happened in a certain way and, as much as he or anyone tried, it couldn’t change.

He closed his eyes - maybe he would be able to sleep out here, and in the worst case, he would catch a cold and spend a couple of days in bed with Carlos. That didn’t sound bad at all. TK drank the last drop of the tea and tried to relax; he had almost managed it when a noise at his back grabbed his attention.

It sounded like a crack, like branches breaking or something similar. He got up and peered into the darkness but there was no-one there and nothing moved. The sound returned, a little closer; maybe it was a wounded animal or one that was trying to get into the station’s trash in search of food.

“Hello?” TK called, only to feel like an idiot a second later; he already knew that there was no-one there.

He headed towards the trash cans but there was nothing there, and he sighed in relief - he would not have wanted a pissed-off raccoon to throw itself at him. TK turned around, but a dark figure, wearing a large coat or cape that didn’t even show a centimetre of skin, appeared in front of him.

“Who are you?” he asked, taking a step back and throwing two of the dumpsters to the floor.

He received no response other than seeing the gleaming edge of a knife the man had taken from under his clothes as he approached him.

The station lights turned on - throwing the dumpsters had raised the alarm. The stranger turned - he wouldn’t be able to do what he wanted, but before Paul and Judd arrived, he used the knife against him. TK raised his arm in defence and shouted at the sensation of the blade cutting his skin. He stumbled backwards and fell to the floor, but no-one was there save for his friends running towards him.

“TK, are you okay? What happened?”

He looked around him, but the stranger had already managed to disappear. “Where did he go?”

“Who? Hey, that cut looks bad,” Judd said, helping him to his feet.

“There was someone here, he attacked me with a knife.”

Owen and the others arrived a moment later, and searched the station, but found no-one. Judd pushed TK to go back inside so that Tommy could treat his arm.

“It’s not a deep cut, but it has nicked a couple of veins so it looks worse than it is,” his captain said as she finished bandaging his arm. “You said that a hooded stranger did this? It’s possible that you tripped and cut it on glass or a broken bottle.”

“There was someone in front of me, he had a knife.”

“Something tells me that the fire today affected you a lot,” Owen said behind him. “Captain Vega, don’t you think it would be a good idea for him to go home and rest?”

“No! I’m fine, really. That man attacked me and then disappeared.”

But they forced him to go home.

Carlos was waiting for him; he had been asleep but he always left the sound on his phone in case anything happened to TK. Judd had called him and told him what had happened and that TK had been put in a car home.

He met him at the door, barely having time to prepare himself before TK was hugging him.

“I’m not crazy, babe, and the fire didn’t affect me so much that I’m having hallucinations of people attacking me.”

“Shhh, I know. I know you’re not crazy.” Carlos left kisses on TK’s forehead and cheek, and did the same when he took his hands, kissing the palms and the back as he led him to the sofa. “You need to sleep and relax. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

“But…”

“But nothing, baby. Sleep, and I’ll stay awake so no-one else tries to hurt you.”

TK wasn’t sure if Carlos believed him or not, but he always felt safe in his arms. He let go and, without bothering to change his clothes, curled up next to Carlos on the sofa. He sighed, feeling his arms surrounding him, and closed his eyes.

They were all right about something - between the last shift and what had happened by the dumpsters, he was exhausted and needed sleep, so it wouldn’t hurt to do it.

When he woke up, Carlos was still awake, reading. By the yawn he gave, it was clear that he had fulfilled his promise and not slept all night.

“Are you feeling better?”

TK looked at his arm, hoping that what had happened the previous night had been a dream. But the bandage was still there.

He nodded. It was stupid to think that someone wanted to hurt him, or that they’d wait around the station until dawn to do it. Maybe it was true, maybe he had had a nightmare about the fire and ended up cutting himself with glass, like Tommy had said.

The kiss to his cheek brought him back to reality.

“Should I make breakfast?”

“We could do it together?” TK offered, but Carlos clicked his tongue and laughed. “Okay, sorry, what I meant is that you make breakfast and I’ll lend a hand.”

“Perfect.” With another kiss to the forehead, Carlos circled his waist and made him get up. He looked happy, with that warm, perfect smile that made TK feel as if nothing could go wrong. “What’s up? Why are you looking at me like that?” Carlos asked.

TK shook his head and the smile returned. His arm didn’t hurt and the fear of the hooded stranger disappeared all at once. He took Carlos’s hand to go to the kitchen and they spent the next hour making a breakfast that, between laughs, games, caresses, and a round of sex on the kitchen island, ended up more on them instead of being eaten.

“Happy anniversary,” Carlos whispered in TK’s ear, feeling the fast beat of his heart.

“Oh, are you serious? We’ve been together for a year today?”

“You forgot, right?”

“Babe, I’m so sorry, I… No, I did forget, but I’ll make it up to you.”

Carlos took off his flour-covered shirt and gave him a quick kiss. “You don’t have to, don’t worry,” he said, before heading to the bathroom.

“Carlos, babe, wait.” TK tugged at him. “Everything’s been so perfect with you. And it’s gone so fast too. When we started dating for real, I didn’t want to give myself hope that we would last and I decided to take it day by day. I was always scared that…”

Carlos took his face in both hands. “I’m not Alex, nor could I ever be Alex.” He never lost his smile; even now that he was hurt, he kept smiling and kissing TK. “And I’m going to be here, with you, forever. I love you, Ty. I love you so much, so I’m going to carry on as if I hadn’t heard anything, and I’ll wait for you at the precinct at six tonight so we can celebrate our anniversary.”

“Okay, though what we just did…”

“That was just the appetiser. Babe, you have no idea what I have prepared for tonight.”

TK worked that shift like normal, though every once in a while, he looked at his arm. He’d convinced himself that it was impossible that someone would have attacked him. Why go to the station to hurt him? Why him? It didn’t make sense.

Luckily, the shift was quiet and it enabled him to rest; they only went on one call and the rest of the day, Tommy and his father both told him to take it easy. But now that he wasn’t thinking about the fire, he couldn’t get out of his head how bad Carlos must be feeling after TK forgot their anniversary.

He had to do something, to somehow make it up to him.

“Can I leave a little early today?” he asked Captain Vega, before telling her everything that had happened.

“Go, buy him something pretty - forgetting the first anniversary is very serious.”

He had studied the area, parking the car somewhere that wouldn’t appear suspicious, but also a place where he could see the soul he lacked.

His blood was perfect; the ritual he had done last night had been a success, and its taste was exquisite. Now all that was left was to take him and prepare him for the final ritual.

He had decided to wait until his shift was over, but there was no doubt that fate was helping him, as he saw him leave two hours early. He got out of the car, seeing him put in his headphones, and raised his hood to avoid the wind.

“Hey, TK!” a voice behind them said, the only thing that hadn’t gone as he expected, the only thing that made him improvise.

He hid the syringe he carried in his jacket pocket and, gripping tightly to the iron bar he’d found nearby, hit his victim in the head.

TK fell to the floor, sounds reverberating around him, barely able to see anything other than white lights.

“He’s already left,” said another voice inside the station.

“I’m… I’m here. Help,” TK breathed, his voice barely there. Even that was painful as he watched the stranger, the same from the previous night, approached him with an iron bar in his hand. “Dad… Judd… Please.”

“For the return of the Great Dark Lord,” said the other man, closing the gap that separated him from TK. He knelt in front of him and placed the iron on his chest. “For the Lord of the Dark to walk the earth, you will give your life, your blood, and your soul. You are the fourth chosen. The fourth cardinal point to mark his return.”

“Please, you’re wrong… I’m not the one you’re looking for.”

“You are. Soon you will see.”

Before TK could say anything else, a second blow to his head left him sprawled on the ground, like a broken toy.

#911 lone star #911 lone star fic #tarlos #tarlos fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #owen strand #tommy vega #judd ryder #911ls #lone star #fanfiction #my fanfiction #writing #my writing

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bellakitse · 4 years ago

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Love In This Club - part {2/2}

Part One

TK runs into someone familiar on the job.

When I first wrote this story, my partner in crime said that if I wrote it, I would need to write a follow up of Tarlos seeing each other at work. As always, @beka1820 was right.

With this being the last thing I post for the year 2020, I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year and thank each and every one of you who have read my stories, left me messages, reblogged, commented, etc.

You have all been wonderful, and your support not only helped me be more creative, but it helped me survive this hard year. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love, it has meant everything. I hope to continue to bring you all more stories to enjoy in 2021. 💗💗💗

There have been times in TK Strand’s life that have shown him if there is such a thing as a higher power, it’s laughing at his expense. Proposing to the person he once thought was his soulmate only for said person to tell him he was cheating on him with his trainer – yeah, the universe had a good laugh that day.

He imagines, as he stares at the shocked but familiar face of the police officer answering his father’s questions, said higher beings are laughing their mystical asses off right now too.

They get a call to an overturned car on a wet and miserable Thursday night. His team, now fully assembled, is more than eager for some action. TK understands the eagerness. The last few weeks in Austin have been about getting the firehouse to standard and helping his dad with their crew’s recruitment.

In the end, he likes all of them. Mateo is like an excited puppy, invoking all the protective instincts in TK. While Paul is an old soul, mixed with an all-knowing eye that both impresses TK and freaks him out at how easy he reads them all. Finally, there’s Marjan. She is a kindred spirit, he realizes after her smartass answers during the interview. He can recognize a fellow adrenaline junkie when he sees one. Seeing it too, his dad had rolled his eyes and muttered a prayer for patience. It makes him and Marjan share twin grins every time.

There are police and news crews already at the scene when they get there, the heavy rain making it harder to see, but the moment he hears his voice addressing his dad, TK instantly recognizes it. It shocks him still for a moment, flashes of their night together just a few days ago playing at full speed in his mind.

Carlos, the man from the club who used his mouth to make TK see stars. The man who then took him back to his place and showed him for the rest of the night that a talented mouth wasn’t all he had to offer.

TK feels himself go warm despite the intense rain coming down as he remembers how Carlos touched him, with almost reverence as his fingertips danced over TK’s skin. He pulled practically desperate moans and gasps out of him as he pushed deep into TK, his intention clear – he wanted to make sure TK would remember him.

He has, despite trying to focus on his new team, his new firehouse, and still new city, TK has found himself more than once thinking about the handsome man before him, regretting more and more having slipped out of his apartment while the man slept, not even leaving his cell number behind.

He sees the shock in Carlos’ soft brown eyes the moment they land on him. It’s there for a second, and then it’s gone as he jumps back into his police officer role, continuing to explain the situation to his dad.

After the assessment, his team springs into action; he, Paul, and Mateo get the overturned car pried open enough for Marjan to squeeze in and start to work on the victim. TK’s heart drops to his stomach when the woman tells them about her infant son; it falls to his toes when they see where the little boy has landed.

He watches with his team and Carlos as his father climbs up the ladder to get the child out of the tree. A shout rips out of his throat as the car chair comes tumbling back to the earth, and he feels a familiar hand gripping his shoulder when he lets out an exhale at the image of his father climbing back down the ladder with little Henry in his arms, safe and sound.

He feels an immense sense of pride for his dad as he walks away, calling his team to wrap it up.

“He’s an impressive guy.”

TK turns his head at the comment to find Carlos’ curious gaze on him. “He’s my dad,” he answers, causing the corners of Carlos’ mouth to quirk upward. He knows Carlos hears the pride too.

Carlos looks at him up and down, his expression turns reluctantly amused. “I guess we should have done some small-talk about work after all.”

TK feels himself flush at the comment, remembering the almost out of control need he had for Carlos that night, the desire to taste him more powerful than common sense.

“Probably,” he answers with an awkward chuckle. He makes a face in response that causes Carlos to smile tenderly back at him.

“I wished you had stayed,” he says quietly, taking a step closer to TK, using his body to give them a moment of privacy, pressing TK gently into the side of a firetruck. It causes TK’s pulse to uptick at the sudden closeness, and he’s sure he can smell Carlos’ pleasant scent despite the protective gear and rain still coming down around them.

“I would have made you breakfast,” Carlos continues, trying to lighten the mood, making TK wonder what kind of deer caught in the headlights look he has on his face. It’s endearing and reminds TK that while their night together had been hot, it had also been sweet. Fun, as they giggled through kisses when in their rush to get naked, they got tangled in their clothes.

The way Carlos looks at him now tells TK he is thinking about it too, and wouldn’t mind a repeat.

“What would you have made me?” TK asks, surprising himself. What he should be telling Carlos is to forget their night together. That it was fun, but just a one-time thing. He shouldn’t be wondering what breakfast the officer would make him and how nice it would be to wake up to that. He shouldn’t be thinking about taking Carlos’ silent but clear offer.

Carlos grins widely at him, opening his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted as Paul walks up to them.

“Cap says we’re ready to go, TK,” Paul informs him, his eyebrow ticking upward as he looks at them.

TK looks back at Carlos and blushes. In the time they have been speaking, he and Carlos have gravitated closer, almost pressed against the other. It makes their familiarity with each other pretty evident.

“Right,” TK answers, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Give me a sec?”

Paul’s eyebrow raises even further as a hint of a smirk takes over his face. “Sure, Romeo,” he answers with a laughing shake of his head. “But make it quick. Everyone is wet and cranky.”

TK rolls his eyes but nods his agreement anyway. He waits for Paul to leave them alone before turning back towards Carlos. “I gotta go,” he says pointlessly, startled at how disappointed he actually feels at the thought of walking away from Carlos again.

“Michelle is going to invite your crew to a local bar we usually hang out at,” Carlos says in response, surprising TK with the change of conversation.

“You know Captain Blake?” he asks, at a loss for anything else to say. It earns him a grin.

“She’s my best friend,” Carlos informs him. Still smiling, he takes a step closer once more. “I’m going to be there.”

“Oh?” he questions quietly, gasping softly when Carlos reaches out, his index finger running over the back of his hand.

“Will you come?” Carlos asks him hopefully. He turns his hand to lock his pinkie with his. “We could have a dance, maybe have that breakfast afterward.”

“I – “ TK stalls; he knows the answer Carlos wants. It’s one even he wants to give. “I’m a mess,” he says instead, needing Carlos to understand. “Relationship wise, I mean. I had a recent implosion, and I’m still picking up the pieces,” he continues with a meaningful look.

Carlos returns the expression along with a sympathetic one. “Okay,” he says softly, his tone kind. Another smile just as caring takes over his handsome face. “I’ll take the dance then. We can work up to breakfast when you’re ready and only if you want.”

The easy understanding and acceptance warms TK, and he finds himself smiling back. Almost helpless to stop himself in the face of the beautiful man before him. TK can’t deny he wants him, but what’s more, he can’t deny the connection he already feels to Carlos, even if he can’t entirely explain it either.

“Come,” Carlos whispers again, giving his fingers a small squeeze.

TK exhales slowly. The rain is still coming down around them, and his crew is waiting for him, yet for TK, there is nothing but Carlos in front of him asking him for a dance and maybe a chance.

“Okay,” he answers, his heart beating faster at the possibilities being created from the simple word. “I’ll see you there.”

#911 lone star #tarlos #911 lone star fic #tarlos fic #tk x carlos #my writing

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guardian-angle22 · 1 year ago

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Tagged by @beautifulhigh & @welcometololaland to list my top 5 Tarlos scenes.

This is really going to show my Season 3 bias ngl.

#5. 2.12 "Don't make me twist your arm."/"Please do."

Their chemistry is insane when they're teasing each other downstairs and then they kiss each other so softly once they get upstairs. I'm a sucker for a good soundtrack moment and there's something iconic about having their house literally light up on fire under them while obliviously making out as Fever by Elvis Presley plays in the background. Peak cinema tbh.

#4. 3.04 "Hey, baby. Breathe."/"Welcome home, TK."

We can all agree to have these two can count as one scene, right? they go back to back. The way TK reached for Carlos as soon as he woke up and immediately noticed that Carlos wasn't breathing right even though he just woke up from a coma, is still groggy, and barely has his eyes open? soulmate shit right there. If you haven't watched this without the music. my god. do it now. & then add in how happy they both look as Carlos leads TK into the loft with his hands over his eyes, and then when TK looks around and you can see on his face when he realizes he still gets to have this despite everything? Beautiful.

#3. 3.18 "For the first time in my life, the love that I feel is infinitely more powerful than the fear of losing it."/"A thousand times yes."

I mean can I even say more about the proposal that hasn't already been said? the urgency TK felt that prompted him to wake Carlos up in the middle of the night. His speech to Carlos. All the little touches throughout. The way they both were crying by the end. It was beautiful and it was perfect for them. (the only way it could have been better is if they maybe stopped to turn on a fucking lamp)

#2. 3.08 "Hey, look at me."/"I love you."

This was their first mutual "I love you" shown on screen and while the context was heartbreaking, it was still so so sweet. Carlos being the loving caregiver, kissing TK's forehead, rubbing his knee, wanting to make sure he eats. The way Carlos tells TK to look at him and he does immediately, even though TK has been basically avoiding eye contact with everyone the entire scene will live rent free in mind for all of time, I'm sure.

#1. 3.13 "Do you have any idea how proud of you I am?"/"You're just so sweet."

Can I put the entirety of 3.13 on the list at number one? Because it's my favorite episode for them. It has so many things. It has them being domestic and flirtatious. TK being distracted by Carlos in yoga clothes. It has them fighting a bit, overcoming those obstacles, and communicating. It showed Carlos as a multidimensional character with flaws like jealousy and pettiness, but then growing through it to come to the realization that he can't be everything that TK needs at the end of the day.

But if I absolutely had to pick just one scene from it, I would chose the opening scene. TK sharing with Carlos about his meeting, finding a sponsor, & the realization of not having Gwyn around affecting his mindset. Carlos waiting up with his adorable glasses, reading articles to educate himself, telling TK how proud of him he is. TK calling him sweet and flirting with him. I just-- 🥰🥰

----

Because I'm doing this pretty late in the day, this has made it's rounds through a lot of my mutuals already. so I'm just going to tag a few people that I haven't seen do it yet (no pressure though if you're not feelin' it. but also if you have done it and I missed it let me know so I can read yours!): @morganaspendragonss @ourlegendwillbefitforverse @detective-giggles @noxsoulmate @ladytessa74 @autistic-lesbian-story-lover @tkstrandreyes @pragmatic-optimist @reyescarlos @spencessmile @poledancingghostson @sunshinestrand @mandiiigurllll

#tag game #911 lone star discussion & meta #tarlos #tk strand #carlos reyes #my gifs #sorry but i can't make lists like this without gifs added in for visual reference lol #911 lone star

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beeexx · 4 years ago

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Fic: Winter

4 tattoos on TK’s body, 4 stories set over each of the 4 season. Carlos and TK grow closer.

Read part one and two or the whole thing on my ao3 .

---------- When Carlos was younger he used to love Christmas, loved the lights, the food, the music and spending time with his family. He still likes all that but ever since becoming a police officer and seeing how absolutely crackers everyone gets over Christmas he has reassessed that notion thoroughly and decided that he only enjoys Christmas when he can completely shut off the outside world and escape the insane nonsens, then, yes Christmas is lovely. Having been single for the majority of his time on the force always makes him the first pick for working on the 25th, and this year is no different. So, he sees TK on the 24th before Gwyenth flies in and it’s sweet and fun but he feels TK might want to spend it alone with him next year, the seriousness of their relationship starting to require that they create some traditions of their own, and the 25th on a full 24 hour shift and then the 26th he goes home to his parents.

New Years comes along, it’s calm for him, he’s working the next day and he drinks sparkling water and coke for the whole evening they spend at Grace and Judd with the 126, Carlos has become an unofficial member of. He’s grown close with them all since starting dating TK and it’s not unusual for him to get his own invitation to stuff, sometimes even without TK. Mateo sends him texts asking dating advice, Paul will ask questions about cooking and recipes and he and Marjan have taken up playing padel together. So he’s definitely part of the group for sure and it’s lovely being surrounded by people who know each other so well that there are almost more alcohol free options than there are actual alcohol, food from all sorts of different countries and traditions and a warm atmosphere around as they watch the fireworks together out on the deck, celebrating the coming of a new year.

He drives TK home to Owen pretty early and TK gives him sad puppy dog eyes before he drags him into the back of the car for some light fooling around and very heated kissing that would definitely not have been approved of at Judd and Grace’s party before he regretfully has to leave if he wants to be able to work at all come morning. The choice of staying over is so tempting but Carlos knows he would struggle too much the next day when he would be forced to leave a very hot and cute and snuggly boyfriend while he has to work. So he kisses the love of his life passionately on the street, so much so that he looks completely dazed and confused when Carlos pulls away and tells him he loves him and that he promises to make it up to him the next time they are off together and TK, with his stern face on, makes him promise that he will.

But Carlos has been working a lot this winter, he knows, it's a habit, leftover from a long time of being single that he’s had a hard time shaking. He doesn’t like winter, it’s the only time of the year he’s usually always felt lonely, with all the holidays coming up being forced into social gatherings where questions are always asked whether he’s single or not and it used to grate endlessly on his nerves. And if he’s sometimes taken shifts on the days after or on the actual days to avoid the questions, well no one has to know.

Only this year he’s been so distracted that he’s forgotten he’s already accepted all these shifts almost a year before, before he was officially together with TK the way they are now, and the unfortunate result of this is that they have have become completely unmatched in their schedules which makes TK look more and more sad every time he has to leave him to go to work. It’s making Carlos’ sad too but because he’s worked so much recently, he’s made sure to switch his shifts around with a colleague so he’ll get three days off in a row, matching them all up with TK’s, and that’s what he thinks about every time he feels guilty about it.

But growing close with TK’s friends also means that he gets 15 texts in a row from Mateo, and five calls that have him promising to come to his party the Friday after the new year, because that’s his life now. And of course he’s late, because nothing ever goes his way and he’s barely had the time to change and shower when at home, basically just throwing on black jeans and a white t-shirt hoping that it will do and that he won’t be completely underdressed for the occasion. It turns out that isn’t the actual issue.

The issue is that apparently TK has had the time to choose clothes that make him look absolutely sinfully hot in his ridiculously tight jeans and pink button down that has one too many buttons left undone, teasing skin, his chain as always around his neck, part of his flower tattoo on exhibition for too many to see. Not that Carlos is the jealous type, but his boyfriend is attractive as hell and he’s definitely not the only one who has noticed that.

Which introduces the other issue.

“Oh my god babe, I’m so relieved you are here. I feel old.” TK declares absolutely horrified by having spent the majority of the evening in company with people who are probably old enough to drink because Carlos is not looking forward to arresting anyone, but with the majority of them being under 25, maybe?

But he agrees, everyone is so millennial here, like too millennial even for his tastes that they are all feeling much more like zoomers than anything, yes Carlos spends time on the internet. And he does have a younger sister that age and has spent too much time on calls where he’s been forced to talk to people under 20 feeling very much like they are speaking a completely different language to him. But being here Carlos realises that Mateo is actually a few years younger than him which has never even crossed his mind before, but standing here in Mateo’s new apartment he just moved into it’s becoming clear that Carlos with his 27 years is actually old in comparison to this.

Marjan looks to be having the time of her life though, looking slick and cool in her completely black awesome outfit, having a group of people wrapped around her fingers as they seem to hang onto every word, oohing and aaahing at the right places while Paul is playing on the ps5, him, Marjan and TK got Mateo for Christmas slaying everyone who dares playing against him. TK looks absolutely appaled at having been forced into the company of these people for the past few hours that he’s already been here, and it’s hilarious because sometimes riling TK up and annoying him is a little fun, but Carlos is the best thank you very much and he asks if TK wants to go have sex on Mateo’s bed in retaliation and TK’s eyes grow mischevous by the very idea.

“Yes, I love that.” He’s much happier already and he’s positively glowing, his slight addiction to misbehaving becoming evidently clear. Marjan stops both of them, wrapping her arms around their shoulders harshly.

“No screwing in probie’s bed.” She chides and TK’s mood sours immediately.

“Marjan, come on, look at this. I’m too old to be here, I want to have some fun.”

“Perfect, we’re playing truth or dare, you’ll love it.”

TK groans.

But they are forced into the game nonetheless because Paul joins too and when Paul and Marjan’s plans align they are a goddamn unstoppable force and there really isn’t anything you can do to escape it.

So, forced into a game Carlos hasn't played since probably high school is either going to become absolutely disastrous or the most fun he’s had in ages, he hasn’t made up his mind yet. Mateo joins as well and a bunch of other people Carlos is never going to learn the names of join together in the kitchen, TK being well TK sitting on top of the kitchen island, cross legged and leaning against Carlos who is sitting on one of the bar stools, his arms securely around him, sipping a really shitty beer someone gave him before the game started.

When a girl called Emily gets dared to call an ex of hers to tell him the rules of Monopoly even TK can’t help but laugh because she absolutely kills it, finishing the call with all of them applauding her because that was some Boss as shit to do, even Carlos respects it.

Lots of the people around them keep shooting lingering glances at him and TK, not judgeful ones, Carlos would probably fake threaten to arrest them for prejudice and discrimination if he felt any hostility, no, they are curious, kind, a little intruding maybe, but it’s done out of an eagerness, maybe at seeing a gay couple so openly happy and relaxed together that they can’t help themselves. Or maybe they’re checking them out and Carlos will accept that as a compliment without it getting to his head. When he leans forward and kisses the back of TK’s head it's obvious it’s become too much for the people around them and a guy called Fred bursts at the seams.

“TK.” He says. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth I guess.” He says nonchalantly.

“Who tops and who bottoms in the relationship?”

There’s a collective groan in the room and Fred blushes, obviously unaware of his mistake but seems to have enough awareness at least to realise he’s done something stupid. Carlos is just waiting for TK to give the guy a totally inappropriate answer exposing their sex life to a bunch of people who can only dream of ever having as amazing sex as they are having, yeah it’s not nice bragging, but doing it inside of his head where no one can hear isn’t hurting anyone, but it’s not TK who answers, it’s Mateo, beating TK to it.

“That’s a stupid question Fred, rooted in outdated gender roles while it also reinforces false heteronormative ideas of feminintiy and masculinty onto sex. The idea that you have to be dominant or submissive just because you like to give or receive is just ridiculous, because even you should be aware that depending on the mood, the time or whatever you’re not going to just enjoy one single thing, and if you do, then you’ve clearly only had terrible sex.”

The room grows silent, Carlos' eyes widening as TK holds back his laughter.

“Yeah that, what Mateo said Fred.” TK forces out, coughs to hide how he’s close to absolutely losing it while the room erupts into loud cheering and whistling making both Mateo and Fred blush.

“Daaaamn probie, who would have thought you actually listen when we tell you stuff huh? Good job.” Marjan says while Paul looks like a proud father, absolutely beaming. TK takes pity on Fred who is looking a little dejected.

“Just find yourself a partner that you feel safe and loved by and do some experimenting to see what you like, but make sure to set boundaries too, and you’ll be good to go. Also if you’re straight, respect women, they are the best thing we have.” Fred looks a little relieved as someone beside him pulls him into a rough friendly hug and they move on.

The game continues and soon everyone has forgotten Fred’s little mistake and the game grows louder and rowdier, Paul drawing the short straw of getting dared to smell everyone’s feet in the room and rank them.

“Carlos, truth or dare.” These kids are too thrifty for Carlos, he aint getting dared into something stupid.

“Truth.” He settles for. Lily’s eyes land on TK and she smiles sweetly.

“Favourite and least favorite thing about TK.” TK turns his head and grins as Carlos sticks his tongue out.

“Least favorite thing is his messiness and proneness to forgetful spells, you see kids turning 27 can make you a bit forgetful, don't forget to be kind to him tonight.” It sets the whole room off into roaring laughter and Carlos chuckles a little pleased at his own joke as TK glares without any heat, huffs and rolls his eyes. He makes sure to wrap his arms tighter around him.

“My favourite thing about him is his unwavering strength, his big heart and even though he’s struggled and failed and failed again he never gives up on trying to do better. It’s simple, I love him, so it’s easy to love every part of him.”

Loud AAAWWWWs erupts all over the room and TK’s flush is high on his cheeks as he leans towards Carlos, gently kissing him. A girl sends Lily a look of fondness, both him and TK catching it before she averts her eyes.

“I love you.” TK whispers, only meant for Carlos, and his heart swells from hearing the words for the 100th time. It never seizes to stop taking the breath out of him.

The game continues, someone making the mistake of daring Marjan to eat a spoon of hot sauce, her face not moving an inch as she swallows it without trouble, Mateo to tell everyone who he’d like to make out with in the room then being dared to do it by Carlos because she looks to be a little interested in Mateo too, while Carlos gets dared to behave like the person to his right which has the whole room dying and the acting lessons he took in high school coming in handy. It doesn’t surprise Carlos that this happens because these people are relentless but then, TK gets dared to give him a goddamn lap dance, the attention bouncing off TK in waves, his elation and cheekiness making him look way too hot while Carlos tries very hard to think of the pile of dishes at home in his sink to distract from not making good on his earlier promises and dragging TK away to Mateo’s room and get laid immediately. He sends Paul a hateful glare who looks smug.

By the time someone asks the question about TK’s flower tattoo on his chest Carlos has actually gotten a little tipsy, and the youngsters, which most of them aren’t really, because some he’s realised are as old as he is, have grown a lot on him. He’s having a very good time.

“What’s the story behind the flower tattoo, if there is one?” TK leans forward, eyes mischievous.

“It’s funny you should ask.” He begins and Carlos silently groans.

“So, the story begins when I was in Thailand, gap year and all that, I am sure you’ve been at that point in your life?” Some nod, TK has the attention of the whole room and he grows more and more confident, comfortable with everyone’s attention on him.

God, this is going to be funny.

“We were partying at my hostel, we got real drunk and I went home with a dude that I had met who were staying at a different place than I was. We were both really drunk, we fooled around in his room, you know what happened next, no details for you dirty buggers. Anyway, in the middle of the night I want a snack so I leave him sleeping. Only that I am still so drunk that I forget that to be able to get back to his room you have to have a key card to get the elevator to take you to the floors. So, only in boxers I take the elevator to the ground floor and try to get the vending machine to give me some chocolate, without any money. I stand there clicking every button I can find, when there’s suddenly a cat on the lobby desk. So drunk as I am my attention is immediately on the cat who wasn’t as much in a cuddly mood as I was.”

Carlos is not drunk enough to buy a word coming out of TK’s mouth, but he’s telling it with such conviction, hands motioning around, having completely captivated the room’s attention that even Marjan looks unsure whether to believe this or not.

“The cat runs away, I forget my hunger and I start to make my way back up to, Simon, that was the guy’s name. I try to find my way back up there, only the elevator doesn’t work because I don’t have a keycard so I’m screwed but of course too drunk to realise this. The elevator keeps going up and down though as people come and go and I’m there just in my boxers like a total loser. Basically someone must have thought that I was a prostitute because someone called the police who came to get me. They were so friendly by the way and so sweet, and there I am in my boxers out on the street so drunk I can barely remember my own name trying to answer questions about what my phone number is and where I live.”

He pauses for dramatic effect and Carlo bites his lip, hard and discreetly so no one can see how deranged he thinks this story is. Everyone seems to want to know more so TK pushes on.

“I get escorted out, given a jacket by someone to cover up and then they tell me that they will drive me home. While they are driving I see a tattoo shop that’s open 24/7 and I tell them to drop me there and say something like I live upstairs with the owner and show a photo of a friend who definitely isn't Australian or own any goddamn tattoo shop owner but they buy it. Or they were probably just tired of me, so they drop me off there and I insist I will be fine. Outside there’s a group of people, all of them clearly drunk. I join them, you know making friends while drunk it’s like the easiest thing in the world and then we go into the shop together, me in my boxers and Sydney PD jacket to go with and then have the massive flower tattoo made on my chest while my new friends cheer me on, pay for it too because I have no money or phone, drink some more beer inside of the shop and then we all share a cab back to the same hostel we were staying at and the morning after I woke up with the biggest hangover I have ever experienced, no phone, no clothes and a massive tattoo on my chest I barely remember getting.“ He finishes and the room has been rendered speechless.

TK is preening, loving what he’s just done. The whole room erupts into loud chatter soon enough and none of them can really make sense of the story and alternate between completely buying it and not buying it at all.

Carlos leans forward, nipping gently at TK’s ear before he whispers.

“Babe, I want the actual story for the tattoo.”

“What? You don’t believe what I just told you?” He asks, sweetly, innocently and Carlos snorts.

“Sure, and I am related to Lady Gaga.” TK laughs, turns his head and kisses him.

“I’ll tell you later.” He promises and Carlos pecks him gently on the lips. The room’s moved on and the game continues for a while longer before the crowd disrupts, Marjan and TK set on matchmaking Lily together with the same girl that looked at her earlier while Paul and Carlos get roped into an armwrestling contest that he’s going to feel in his muscles tomorrow for sure.

By the time someone decides they’re going out clubbing Carlos is fairly drunk, a comfortable buzzing just underneath his skin and he’s having a good time, he isn’t going to say no to dancing. TK finds him, sneaking an arm around him, refusing to let him go, which makes it much harder to get his jacket and shoes on and get downstairs and out to the uber that’s waiting. They must look slightly ridiculous like this but no one is paying attention to them and Carlos only has eyes for TK anyway, so nothing matters than him.

They share a cab with Paul and two other people Carlos cannot remember the names of but seems to be really engaged with Paul about some book they both love and Carlos tunes them out, nuzzling TK’s hair who is still wrapped around him. TK looks up to meet his eyes, smile soft and eyes alluring and lips plumb and extremely kissable. Carlos licks his lips.

“Can you two at least wait until we’re in the club so I don’t have to watch you suck each other’s faces off right here?” Carlos huffs and TK swats at Paul, not getting too far away from Carlos, his arms still wrapped around him.

What can he say? He’s drunk, in love and he has a stupidly hot boyfriend, he might be losing his grip on appropriate behaviour when TK is this near and this intoxicating. But maybe, just maybe he should stop drinking for the rest of the evening, especially if he wants to get laid when he gets home.

They get to the club and both TK and him lose the rest of their friends. Not that it matters much anyway, all he has eyes for is TK who doesn’t hesitate to take charge, pulling Carlos towards the dancefloor with such ease it’s hard not to be completely enticed by him. The music is loud vibrating through Carlos’ body and TK pulls him close, finally without having to care about other people, letting go of everything that was holding him back before, finally having TK all to himself.

TK looks to be in his right goddamn element, alive, happy, body moving with the freedom of being safe and in love and allowed to exist freely. Carlos barely even grapples with the urge to pull him close, he just does and kisses him, passionately, bruising, messing up his hair and pulling his hips close to his own. TK hisses against his mouth but he gives as good as he gets and he kisses back fervently, intensely with brutal vigor and Carlos loses his footing, it’s so good. They’re being so indecent right now, but there’s something positively addictive being with TK like this, grinding on each other, kissing without holding back, loving each other boldly and loudly.

It’s all Carlos has ever wanted.

TK pulls away, he honestly looks absolutely wrecked, way too good for Carlos to be sane about anything.

“Baby.” He rasps in Carlos’ ear, voice hoarse and broken and it goes straight to Carlos’ dick, he hisses in response. God he’s so gone. TK, the little devil kisses his neck, lips attached to the exposed skin of his t-shirt, licks his skin, pulls it into his mouth and Carlos bites at his lip, hard, pulling TK closer to him.

They are going to have to slow down otherwise they are going to get kicked out.

“Baby.” He says, sees a shiver go through TK as he clutches at Carlos’ hair, messing it up completely. “We’re going to have to slow down.”

“Why?” TK whines.

“Because we’re not having sex in the bathroom…” But even as he says it the image of TK on his knees in front of him is a little too much not to be very tempting. TK bites at his earlobe, the fucking tease and sucks it into his mouth.

“Fine, fine.” He agrees, pulls back and kisses Carlos, still sinfully hot, but a little more controlled and appropriate than before. He pulls back, smiles beautifully and Carlos knows he’s just never ever going to love someone the way he loves TK.

But they slow down a little, and somehow find Paul who points at Mateo making out with the girl from earlier, Marjan is at the bar looking mischievous and Carlos wonders what she has in mind. He finds that out when she walks towards them, glitter in her hands. She blows some onto Paul who swoops her up spinning her around as she laughs delightedly and then smears some onto Carlos’ face. He wipes parts of it off, but it sticks to his face like glue because of the sweat, and wipes it onto TK’s face, pulling him close to kiss him to stop his squeaking and swatting.

Mateo comes and joins them and they spend the rest of the night dancing and shouting and laughing and it’s liberating, a different kind of high to be out with friends who you love, who accept you and who you can be yourself with 100%. They are all going to spend weeks trying to get the glitter out of their hair though, Carlos knows as much.

At 5 in the morning he and TK stumble through his door, both of them unable to keep their hands off each other after behaving for hours. Finally they are completely alone.

…..

Carlos wakes up the next day when TK starts to move around in their bed. He hears him leave the room and Carlos groans, throws an arm across his face, hiding from the light streaming in through the opened curtains. He has a headache, not just due to being hungover, but more because of clubbing for hours with loud music, staying up for most of the night and probably because as much as he doesn’t like to admit it, he’s nearing 30. Being out clubbing all night takes much more of a toll on his body than it used to.

TK comes back, puts down what Carlos thinks is a glass of water on the nightstand before he crawls back into bed, Carlos pulling him close, snuggling up against him as soon as he’s back in bed. TK huffs but doesn’t object as Carlos noses at his neck, feeling TK run a hand through his hair.

He’s sore all over, from the arm wrestling, from the dancing and from the insane sex they had last night. And he’s probably wearing TK’s boxers by mistake, because they feel a little too tight on him so they are definitely not his. It’s not comfortable but he doesn’t have the energy to care.

“Morning.” TK croaks out, voice hoarse from all of the screaming. He hums, not really ready yet to be a human. He’s allowed to lie for a moment in bed, peaceful, but the thing with TK is that sometimes he’s inhumane in the mornings, taking after Owen undoubtedly, with his uncanny ability to just be awake. He can definitely be a sleepy little brat, but when he isn’t, once he’s up, he’s up.

“There’s glitter everywhere.” TK comments, smile evident in his voice. Carlos forces his eyes to open, blinks a few times and looks around the room, sees that there is indeed glitter on the bed, clothes lying all around the bedroom, pillows on the ground, the bottle of lube still open, leaking onto the hardwood floor and the mattress has been moved, lying halfway across the bed.

He groans, shifts onto his back pushing his unruly curls away from his face and rubs at his eyes, trying to feel a little bit more awake.

“Here.” TK says and hands him the glass of water. He thankfully takes a sip, moves the pillow more comfortably behind his head before he closes his eyes again, ready to sleep for a few more hours. TK huffs, shuffles around for a moment, unhappy, before he comes closer to Carlos, nudging his legs apart so he can settle between them. Carlos opens his eyes again and moves to make more room for him. TK immediately stops moving and settles, hands unconsciously stroking across Carlos’ chest.

TK has a pillow streak across his cheek, blue and pink glitter still on his face and his hair really is messy from Carlos pulling on it last night, and yet managing to look way too good for someone who has been up most of the night partying.

“Hi.” He says, voice hoarse too. He coughs to clear his throat a few times and TK’s mouth twitches.

“We broke the room last night.” He comments dryly, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“I’m sure it was mostly you.”

“The mattress was all you.” He smirks and Carlos snorts.

“Yeah I definitely feel that today, and a little like I’ve been hit by a brick…” TK laughs as Carlos struggles with words, not sure how to make his brain work.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“I hate to say this but I am getting too old to party like this.” TK laughs, swats his chest.

“Don’t say that. You’re making me feel ancient.”

“You seem to be handling it a little better than I am.” He mutters and TK snorts.

“Well I didn’t engage in an arm wrestling contest that was just an excuse to flex.”

None of them mention the very obvious reason as to why TK’s is feeling better than Carlos is. Not that they don’t talk about TK’s addiction, they do, sometimes a lot, sometimes less and sometimes not at all. It’s definitely become a fixed point in their relationship, it’s impossible for it to not be one when you are as serious as they are. But they don’t have to tiptoe around the subject anymore either, it’s become as normalised as it can be between them, even getting to the point where TK will sometimes make a crude joke about it that should have Carlos chiding him, that more often than not makes him snort and pull him into a hug instead.

And TK’s whole life, the very core of who he is is not defined by his substance abuse and addiction or his anxiety and issues, so their relationship isn’t either. More often than not they have the exact same problems any couple their age has and it’s nice it has gotten to that point after having had a really rough start to everything.

“What can I say? I’m hot and muscly.” He jokes, flexes his bicep for show as TK snorts, swats him a little harder than before.

“Well you beat everyone in the room who dared to go up against you, that’s not bad.”

“Thank you.” TK rolls his eyes without heat and leans forward to gently peck his lips.

“You have really bad morning breath.” TK observes, pulls back, grimaces in disappointment and Carlos snorts.

“I’m not surprised.” He lifts his head, looks around the room and then changes his mind, lies back down again. TK lifts an eyebrow.

“Just thinking whether I have the energy to get up and clean, I don’t.”

“You’ve earnt a morning in.”

“I think so too.” He agrees and TK huffs.

They’re quiet for a moment, enjoying just being in each other’s company after being apart for a while with their mismatched schedules. It looks like it might be sunny today too and Carlos can probably agree to take a walk, he’s sure TK is going to suggest it.

They’re both extroverts, but only to an extent. TK is learning that he actually likes spending nights in instead of going out to dinner or clubbing while Carlos has learnt the enjoyment of downtime as he can struggle with not knowing when and how to take a break or relax, always feeling like he needs to to do something, to be on his feet, to move, always edging closer to a burnout with the rhythm he’s going in. In that regard they are quite similar and relaxing together, shutting their brains off in a coping mechanism that isn’t sex (yes that works too but it’s not exactly a sustainable option) has become both a challenge and easier with time.

So they have taken to walking on the weekends or the days where they have time off, to talk about the hard stuff, the big life changing stuff or the small and silly things. There’s something with walking in nature that makes all the hard things in life feel easier, easier to detangle the messes and feel like everything will be okay. His ten thousand daily steps shoot in record each weekend when they keep pushing themselves to find new paths, or walk on the old ones, stopping for coffee when the weather allows it, basking in the sun and each other. It’s very old retired couple of them, but even Paul and Mateo’s teasing had come to a stop when Carlos had smacked a massive list of benefits in the group chat to shut them up and asked them to come with them instead. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. But it’s definitely a habit that’s just his and TK’s, carved out from love and finding ways to grow together.

“Sooo…” Carlos says, teasing and TK lifts an eyebrow and leans forward, his elbows resting on Carlos’ chest.

“The tattoo story from yesterday, that was a load of horseshit.” TK grins.

“That was hilarious, I wish someone would have filmed it.”

“I’m sure you would, you sneaky little monster.”

“I think you mean genius.”

“Sure, sure.” TK laughs and there are fewer things Carlos delights in doing more than making him happy. Ever since they got official he’s decided that it’s a daily goal, a promise to keep being happy together, and so far he’s kept it up.

Carlos lifts an eyebrow.

“This tattoo thing is becoming a recurring thing I see?”

“Ah, you’ve seen through my genius plans.” TK snorts.

“This is the first one I ever did.” Carlow grows serious and unconsciously reaches a hand forward, stroking along the tattoo on display.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, my dad wouldn’t let me until I turned 18 and I did some real begging and convincing to try and change his mind but he always said no. He settled for 18 because he has one himself which he did when he was 16 and was a lifeguard. It used to be a koi fish but he’s changed it a lot since then and it’s a bit of a mess. ‘A wonderful blob, just like his mind’ that’s his own words.” Carlos chuckles.

“Ah, so why a flower?”

“I don’t even know if it has a meaning or anything, I've just always associated flowers and plants with life and natural beauty and it gives me a sense of serenity, grounds me a bit more in reality when everything is uncertain. And you know me, a lot of things have been uncertain in my life.”

“Yeah, but considering what you’ve been through it’s amazing how far you’ve come, you know this right?”

“Yeah, I’m starting to learn that.” He smiles, a little shyly. “And life is finally starting to feel good again, like this is how it’s supposed to be and I feel safe with you.”

Carlos feels his eyes soften and his heart beat fiercely in his chest and he loves TK so much.

“I feel safe with you too.” He whispers and TK nods, like he understands, eyes soft and a sweet little smile at the edge of his lips as he melts in Carlos’ arms, like it’s finally clicked for him too that they really do belong together. Carlos isn’t very religious or superstitious but from the moment he met TK, when he was guarded and on edge and only wanted sex, knew that they would be good together, that there was something about TK that would manage to ground all of Carlos’ faults and flaws and that once they would be un equal ground, they would create something good and beautiful and stable out of something momentarily broken.

Because TK isn’t broken or damaged beyond repair, he never was and he isn’t now either.

He is the love of Carlo’s life.

He isn’t superstitious but he knows this.

“For someone claiming to be such a city boy you sure do have a lot of earthy and nature themed tattoos.” He comments, gently caressing TK’s cheek, hoping that all he feels for this man can be read in his face. When TK’s breath hitches he thinks he knows, or that he’s seen something he wasn’t expecting.

Carlos pulls him into a peck and TK whines.

“Don’t you have a breath mint or something so we can kiss properly?” He complains making Carlos chuckle.

He throws a look at the nightstand and TK grumberly climbs over him, poking Carlos hard on the nose which he expects is on purpose before he opens the drawer and pulls out a small box of tic taks. He pops it into his own mouth, climbs back on top of Carlos and reaches down, kissing him salaciously, loudly and gives the breath mint over to Carlos who honestly almost swallows it whole his whole body reacting so instantly to TK it short circuits his brain. TK grinds down and Carlos groans, pushing up for more friction and TK chuckles, pleased by the reaction, against his mouth before he throws the duvet to the side so he can get more access.

Suddenly Carlos doesn’t have a headache anymore.

…..

They do make it out of bed eventually and they clean the mess up together. Then Carlos takes a shower and when he comes back TK has made banana pancakes and Carlos realises just how hungry he is. He definitely does the majority of the cooking in the relationship but TK will surprise him from time to time by making something he knows really well, and he seems to have taken to breakfast wood with an almost natural ease, spending a long time of this relationship trying to perfect his banana pancakes.

And Carlos likes cooking so he really doesn’t mind that he does it a lot. He really was brought up with food being the ingredient that solved things within his family. It could be a forgiving gesture or a loving gesture and it was always a caring gesture, even when fights got big and words were said and Carlos was convinced the family was going to split into sides that would never heal, but food was the one constant. He’s taken that with him and it’s his way of showing TK how much he adores him, hearing him try something of Carlos’ and like it, face lighting up as the spices and flavours mix together perfectly is an incredible feeling.

So instead TK is observant, always makes him tea the way he likes it, comes by the station to give him coffee if he’s nearby, stacks up on the protein powder Carlos uses when he does go grocery shopping for them and buys him lunch when they are out in town, obsessed with trying new places. The best thing though is that Carlos’ kitchen has for months now been stacked up on things he would never buy himself, like the fancy hazelnut coffee syrup that’s now found a permanent place by his coffee maker, one of the empty shelves in his cupboard that he’s never found anything to keep there that TK fills up with sweets and snacks and chocolate. Or the vegan protein bars that are now a permanent fixture in a cupboard beside the oven.

TK hasn’t moved in officially but he barely goes home these days, once or twice every second week and only more often if TK and his schedules don’t align at all.

Carlos should probably ask him about moving in soon.

“Hi baby.” TK says and Carlos steps close, pecks him lovingly on the lips before he steals a piece of the pancake, TK swatting his hand away.

“Hey.” Carlos pecks him again before he goes to get some plates and set the table for them. TK comes carrying the plate with pancakes shortly after and Carlos makes himself a coffee because TK when he does drink it, it’s not usually in the mornings, and sighs happily as he swallows down the first sip and then they sit down and eat together.

Carlos is living on cloud 9 at the moment, he’s spent the majority of last night dancing with the love of his life, the morning was full of even more sex and now they’re having breakfast together, the thrill of it moves through him like a current, enfulging him into a warm blanket of happiness. And Carlos really truly is happy.

TK seems to sense it too, he keeps sending Carlos smiles over the table, hooking his ankle over his underneath it, rarely breaking eye contact. When they’re done TK comes forward, sitting down in Carlos’ lap, wrapping his arms around him.

“Hi you.” Carlos says, putting his arms around TK’s waist, pulling him closer to him.

“Hi.” TK whispers, pushes a hand through Carlos’ damp hair, messing up the curls even worse.

“I really like your hair like this.” TK muses, continues with the action, sending shivers down his spine.

“I’ve noticed.”

“Why don’t you keep your hair like this more often?”

“If you had curly hair you would know.” Carlos snorts. He cuts it regularly, hates it when it gets too long, it’s much harder to style and he wants his hair to be out of his way when he works so he tends to sleep with hair stuff in his hair when he goes to sleep, it takes him much shorter to get ready in the mornings that way.

“Maybe.” TK agrees, pulls at the strands a little, enjoying the sounds he’s bringing out of Carlos.

“This has been nice, I’ve missed you a lot recently.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I’ve missed you too.” He promises.

“Do you really have to work tonight?” TK sighs looking dejected.

“Actually no, not tonight, I switched my shifts around.”

“Really?” He looks so happy right now, eyes alive and sweet.

“Yeah.” He rubs his nose against TK’s who huffs but returns the movement before Carlos kisses his nose lovingly.

“So, what should we do with the rest of the day then?” He wonders. TK shrugs.

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter what, I just want to spend it with you.”

Carlos smiles.

“Me too.”

And so they do, taking advantage of the day fully, Carlos loving every minute of it.

#tarlos #tarlos fic #911 lone star #9-1-1 lone star #tk x carlos #carlos x tk #tattoo fic #911 lone star fic #carlos reyes #tk strand

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kiras-sunshine · 4 years ago

Text

if you would have been the one

Written for day six of Carlos Reyes week: what if/au

Summary:

what if they didn't end up together on the night of the solar flares + the prompt of “look, i know we agreed to be friends and everything but that’s what everyone says when they break up. i can’t take you asking me for advice on how to ask out the new person you’re interested in, okay? it’s killing me” AU

prompt is from this list

read on ao3

The bar is packed and even though there are a lot of people chatting around him and music is playing in the background, Carlos still hears and recognises his laughter immediately.

He leans against the table next to him and takes a long sip of his beer.

It is a beautiful laughter, free and bubbly, and Carlos loves to hear it. He is glad that he is happy, and he would do almost anything to keep it that way. Still, it feels like a sucker-punch to his gut sometimes, and he hates that he feels that way.

TK is surrounded by his teammates, Mateo, Paul and Marjan are explaining something to him with wide movements of hands and he is almost wheezing with laughter. The lights are dim in the bar, but it almost looks like he would be glowing.

He laughs so hard he almost spills water out of his glass and some of it definitely gets onto his patterned light blue shirt and black slacks. Judd calls out him, and it is mostly inaudible to Carlos, but it makes TK shake his head slightly and the smile never leaves his face. Grace soon appears with a bunch of paper towels and helps him to dry his clothes.

He is glad that he is doing okay, and that he seems happy. He looks like he is surrounded by family, and Carlos is definitely happy for him, but it also makes his stomach twist, in a bad way, because once, he was almost a part of that family, too.

He tries to look away because it’s pathetic. It is merely a crush and a ghost of an almost-relationship and he should have gotten over it already. He is being haunted by what ifs. It’s been a few months already since they, mutually, decided that they wanted wildly different things and they would never make it work.

It was a good, clean break-up as far as break-ups go, and they decided it together. There were no dumper and dumpee, it was just a rational decision and their relationship was so vague and undefined that it ended before anything even started.

There is no good reason why he is still hung up on him, but he is, and it is terrible.

TK is still patting his shirt with the paper towels when he looks up and spots him. He definitely recognises him because he smiles at him, warmly and genuinely. Carlos waves at him because it feels like a rational reaction to one’s ex spotting them staring at them.

Besides, they are friends. Sort of. He likes TK and he is pretty sure he likes him back on some level, and he isn’t that immature that he would pass on the opportunity of friendship just because things didn’t work out between them in other ways.

He wants to be his friend, and they would need to get along even if they hated each other’s guts because they keep having to work together. The following day, after they had decided to call it quits, he had seen TK and rest of the 126 five times during one shift and he had been convinced that the universe was out to get him.

So, for everyone’s sake, he has mastered the art of trying to hide that he still has embarrassingly big crush on the man he broke up with months prior.

Carlos turns around to face the table instead of the bar crowd and a certain firefighter, but it doesn’t take long until he feels an arm wrapped around his shoulder. TK lets his hand slide along his back, and it feels like his fingertips would send small electric shocks along his spine.

He is a tactile person, he knows it, and he has realised that TK is always touching the people he cares about. It’s his way of showing affection, and while he is sort of grateful that he still cares about him, the touching is killing him inside a little bit.

Only because it reminds him too much of their almost-relationship and he misses him. He misses the time when things were not awkward between them and the time when he was in the receiving end of other than greeting touches.

“Hey,” TK says, placing his glass on the table, “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Even though they agreed to stay as friends, he hasn’t seen him otherwise except when bumping into each other while on calls or at the bar, but they haven’t really hung out. They have caught up with each other, exchanging a few texts and TK had invited him over for a dinner, but he had refused by coming up with an excuse. He still feels a little bad about that.

“I’ve been busy,” he replies and takes another sip of his beer.

It’s not exactly a lie. He has been busy with work and spent most of his free time with his sisters, but he hasn’t actively tried to make time to meet up with him, either.

He wants him in his life, as a friend, but he still has things he needs to work on before he can genuinely just be his friend, and TK deserves better than his pining.

TK nods knowingly. “Work?”

“Yeah, always busy,” he agrees, and glances at him. He is looking down to his water glass and moving it around on the table, as if he were nervous about something. “Also, my sister gave birth, so babysitting,” he adds with a small smile.

“Congratulations,” he says, sounding sincere, as he clasps his shoulder and holds his gaze maybe a few seconds longer than necessary, but Carlos doesn’t look away either. “You’re gonna be a great uncle.”

“Thanks,” he says, taking yet another sip of his drink. “How’s your dad?”

He has seen captain Strand on calls too, and he hasn’t looked terribly ill, but he still wonders about him, too. It feels too personal to go up to him and outright ask how he is feeling, especially when he doesn’t even know what TK has told about them to him.

“Great,” he replies, and relief is audible in his voice, but he is also flashing him one of his most disarming smiles. It’s bright and warm, and it reaches his eyes, and it is definitely doing unfair things to his heart. “Chemo seems to be working.”

“That’s good,” he says with a half-smile.

TK opens his mouth but closes it abruptly when his gaze drops to his neck. Carlos yanks the collar of his shirt to cover the ugly purple-and-yellow bruise’s edge.

He has his hand raised, and almost instinctively seems to want to touch the bruise, but he yanks his hand back halfway.

“What happened?” TK asks, and his brow is furrowed as his gaze darts between the bruise and his face.

“Crashed into a door when chasing a perp,” he replies, looking at the beer bottle instead of him.

“Ouch,” he says with a frown, “it looks painful.”

Nothing had been dislocated or broken, but the pain had still been agonizing. His shoulder still throbs with pain if he moves it in a bad angle, but it is definitely better than it had been last week.

“It’s getting better,” he reassures, and TK smiles at him, and suddenly everything feels a little better. He likes this, just talking to him and being friends. He can definitely get over his unrequited feelings. “How are you doing?”

“Still sober,” he says, into his glass of water.

“Not what I meant,” he points out softly.

“I know,” he breathes out, and turns around to face the bar crowd, but he still leans against the same table, “but I’m okay.”

He turns around, too, because the shoulder starts to throb if he tries to crane his neck, and he cannot keep his eyes away from him.

“I’m glad,” he tells him, as a man walks past them, glancing up and down. It doesn’t take him long to realise that TK follows him with his gaze and the unpleasant feeling in his stomach returns.

He grins at him. “Have you met anyone?”

He has just taken another gulp of his drink and he almost ends up spitting it out. “Uh, not really,” he manages to mutter, but TK doesn’t seem to pick up on his awkwardness or he bluntly decides to ignore it.

“What about him?” He asks, nodding towards the man who just walked by, “he definitely checked you out.”

He glances back at the man who has sat down in one of the back booths of the bar. He is handsome, there is no denying that. He is tall, lean and it looks like he is in great shape and his brown eyes keep glistering and the mustard-yellow sweater looks great against his dark skin, but TK has his heart still in a chokehold and he cannot bring himself to genuinely get interested in someone else.

Also, the last thing he needs is to bring a third person into this mess he has created for himself. He is aware that the man’s gaze is still on him, but he decidedly decides to look rest of the 126, who have moved on to have a darts competition in the corner.

It’s Mateo’s turn and he does surprisingly well.

“Uh, no,” Carlos eventually says, shaking his head, as he realises that he never replied to TK and he doesn’t want him to interpret his silence as a sign of interest.

“Not your type?” He asks, and his face suddenly breaks into a delighted smirk. “What is your type?”

He wants to scream, a little. He is quite sure he doesn’t even have a type. Appearance-wise there is no common characteristics between his exes, and he usually just goes for guys who he gets along with and who make him laugh. “I don’t know,” he says, shrugging and hoping that TK would just let it drop.

He has no such luck, and he should have guessed it. He might not know TK completely, but he knows he is stubborn and determined, and a little bit of a jerk when he wants to be.

“Am I your type?” He asks, with a wide shit-eating grin.

“I don’t know, maybe,” he mutters as he takes a longer gulp of his drink than necessary, “also, I don’t really need your help with this.”

He just wants them to change the subject, but obviously TK gets it in a wrong way, because he laughs and bites his lower lip as he looks at him. “I’m sure you don’t. You, what, said hello to me and I was gone for.”

Carlos swears his heart jumps into his throat, and he struggles to swallow or even find words for a reply. Luckily, TK is on rambling mood and just continues on without waiting for a reply.

He gets along with all of his exes, and he hasn’t had ugly break ups, but this conversation they are currently having, is on a whole another level and he doesn’t know what to do with it.

“I think I’ve lost all of my game,” TK says, exhaling and scanning the crowd with his gaze, but he settles at looking his crew’s dart match.

“What game?” Carlos asks, with a grin, and the words are out of his mouth before he really even considers them, but it is so easy to fall in the easy-going banter with him, and he wants this conversation to find a new topic.

He loathes that it makes him a little happy that TK hasn’t found anyone else. It is completely selfish and horrible, but he is convinced that pretending to be friends and getting along with TK’s next friends-with-benefits guy would be a whole another circle of hell.

TK lets out a surprised huff, which is followed by a chuckle and gaping at him. “That’s rude,” he deadpans, gently slapping him in his tricep, “you talk to all of your exes like that?”

“Nope. Do you?”

It is completely out of curiosity, he wants to know how much of this convo is just TK being TK and how much can contributed to the fact that neither one of them knows how to act around each other any more.

“You’re literally the only one I talk to,” he retorts, but he shrugs immediately after. “I guess we’re special then,” he says softly, glistering in his eyes, and if Carlos didn’t know any better, he would say he is flirting with him, but he knows better.

“I guess so,” he confirms with a small and dazed smile, and rubs his own neck.

“But seriously I could use some help,” TK continues, softness gone from his voice. He drums the edge of his glass with his fingers.

Carlos briefly wonders what he has ever done to inflict this kind of suffering upon himself. Being in the receiving end of TK’s teasing and soft smiles hurts, but it hurts in a good way. Setting him up with someone else hurts, but not in a good way, it’s killing him.

“What did you like about me?” TK is definitely carrying the conversation on his own, while he wallows in self-pity and misery, but this time he expects an answer, if his expectant look is anything to go by.

He has focused all of his attention him, and there is no escaping of this, and he cannot come up with any ways to distract him. He guesses he could just kiss him and then he probably would stop talking to him, but he still has some self-preservation left in his mind. He guesses he could just admit that he still hasn’t gotten over him, but that doesn’t feel like a good option either currently.

Especially when he was the one who said if it is not meant to be, then it’s not meant to be. His heart hasn’t just caught up with his mind.

Which means his only option is to give him an answer to his horrible question. Besides of all the inner turmoil that his question causes, it is also a really difficult to answer.

It’s hard to break down, objectively, what it was that attracted him to him and what it was that made the spark between them to ignite because knowing that would probably mean he would know why he is still hung up on him.

He cannot explain why he is drawn to him. He just is. It’s that simple, it’s like a magnet pulling him and he cannot fight it.

“You had kind eyes and a nice smile,” he eventually replies, and it is not far from the truth. “And you were hot.”

When they had first met, on that call where the baby had gotten stuck in the tree, he definitely noticed his eyes first. He has always found them beautiful, a particular shade of green, and he had been wearing the whole firefighter gear complete with the helmet, and it had been a little hard to notice anything else except his bright eyes and amused half-smile.

Obviously, later, he had seen him without the gear, and he was, and still is frankly, gorgeous. He still isn’t going to elaborate more or ramble to his ex how hot he found him when they met. He still has some dignity left and he is half-convinced he is going to develop an ulcer if this conversation steers into that direction.

“Were?”

Carlos smirks into his bottle. “Are, whatever.”

He flashes him another smirk, but it seems just slightly meek and it doesn’t linger. “Huh,” TK says, quietly. He looks a little taken a back, but in a good way. “Any tips?”

Carlos is convinced he might be in hell already, but he is already too deep in this conversation to make any sort escaping attempts. “Just, uh, look at them. Make them feel like they are the only person in the world,” he ends up saying, and he just cannot tear his eyes away from his, and TK is making no attempts to do so, either, and they just keep looking at each other.

At that moment, he feels like the only person in the world for TK, and it is definitely becoming too much. He fakes a cough, and the moment passes. He drinks the remaining of his beer. “Worked for me at least,” he murmurs against the bottle.

TK nods, and he is about to say something else, but Marjan and Mateo come to his rescue. They start to talk, rapidly, about their darts game and how TK needs to participate too, and Carlos has never been more grateful that TK’s attention is not on him.

“Carlos,” Marjan says, and gestures towards the scoreboard that she holds in her hands, “tell us TK’s full name for this wonderful scoreboard.”

He skims through the list and it looks like they have written everyone’s first and middle names for good measure there, and he half-suspects the dart game is only a elaborate scheme by the crew to find out his name.

It’s not even that big of a deal and he doesn’t quite get why he is so secretive about his name, but he is sort of impressed that he has managed to keep it under the wraps for so long and watching the team try to figure it out is sort of amusing.

He can see from the corner of his eye that TK is shooting him a pleading look, and he wouldn’t have needed to see that, because he wouldn’t have told them anyway.

“No.”

He guesses TK needs someone on his corner for this ridiculous crusade, too.

“What?”

“Loyalty bounds,” he replies, cocking his head a little.

Marjan groans but TK rises his hand to high five him, and he meets his palm in the middle.

Mateo takes the score board from her. “How are you guys even like that after a break-up,” he mutters as he scribbles just TK on the list.

For a moment, everything feels tense and awkward again, but luckily Marjan starts to talk again.

He listens to his friends intensively, and Carlos gets the faint idea that this might be his only chance to escape this conversation before he has to give him more tips how to hit on guys who are not him, and he feels terrible and selfish and he knows it is completely asshole thing to do and TK doesn’t deserve it, but he walks out of the bar when he doesn’t notice.

He hoped that fresh air would make him feel better and help him to clear his head, but the day has been hot, and the air just feels heavy and thick and does nothing to help the heavy feeling in his chest.

He just breathes, looking at the parking lot that bathes in the last rays of the setting sun. He wants to be alone, but he hears how the door of the bar creaks as someone pushes it open.

“Are you okay? You kinda disappeared,” TK says, and he does sound concerned and weary.

He opens his eyes and turns around to look at him. He looks almost out place, his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants and his eyes keep darting around the parking lot. “Yeah, sorry. I needed to get away.”

He nods solemnly, biting his lower lip. “Was it because of me?”

There is sharpness in his voice that wasn’t there before, and it almost catches him by a surprise.

“What?”

He sighs deeply and runs his hand through his hair. “I know everyone always agrees to be friends after a break-up, and I don’t want to lose you, but you look almost borderline nauseated when you see me and now, you’re literally running away. So, just say the word and I will leave you alone.”

He shakes his head as he looks at the pavement underneath his shoes. There are small cracks on it. He sighs and sits down the edge of the pavement. It’s not the best place to sit down, but TK tentatively follows his lead and sits down next to him.

“I want to be your friend,” he starts, because apparently, he is not as good at hiding his emotions as he hoped, but still, he has understood it all wrong. “And you’ve done nothing wrong.”

It breaks his heart that he thinks he doesn’t want anything to do with him and only pretends to get along with him.

“Okay,” he says, under his breath, but his voice still sounds a little flat and emotionless.

Escaping the conversation had been a desperate attempt at avoiding talking about anything real he still might feel for him, but he knows he deserves to hear the truth, even if he will end up thinking differently of him.

Besides, pretending he doesn’t feel anything more than friendship towards him was always immediately off the table if it hurted him.

“And honestly,” he starts, staring at his own hands, “I cannot give you advice how to hit on other people, it’s killing me.”

It feels good admitting that aloud, but the parking is desolated besides them and the parked cars, and it is so quiet.

“Why?”

At first, he isn’t sure if he heard him correctly. He turns his head around, but it sends a flash of pain in his shoulder, and he ends up turning a bit towards him. TK is slouching and staring at the ground, but Carlos keeps glaring at him, because he figured it would be quite obvious why he has hard time giving him dating advice.

He takes a deep breath. “Because I’m still not over you,” he admits, quietly and it comes out softer than he intended, but honesty feels good.

TK’s head snaps up at that and suddenly his gaze is back on Carlos, and he feels strangely vulnerable, right there and then, underneath his gaze. “Oh.”

Carlos lets out a laugh, but it ends up sounding like a sad attempt of laughter. “I know, pathetic, really.”

“It’s not,” TK says, gently, but his gaze darts back to the cars that keep reflecting the sunlight just slightly, “because if you’re pathetic, then so am I, because I think I haven’t gotten over you, either.”

He blinks at him, taking in his words and now he is sure he didn’t hear him right, but there is no other explanation. TK stays quiet, but he shrugs and flashes him a sheepish smile.

“Aren’t we a pair,” he says with a chuckle.

The heavy feeling in his chest has evaporated into nothing, but the absurdity of this whole conversation is making his mind short-circuit and he is just a little loss for words.

“It’s been two months,” TK complains, attempting to hold back his own laughter, but it erupts a little in the end. “And I’ve tried to get over you, but nothing has worked so far.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he says, gesturing between them, “this was not my best decision.”

In retrospect, maybe if they have never even stared anything, they would happier and not in this situation, but it fills his heart with different kind of heavy sadness that he seems to regret the whole thing.

He guesses he notices his shift in his mood, because TK’s face falls a little and he places his hand on his forearm. “No, that came out wrong. I don’t regret you, I only regret letting you go. Only an idiot does that and I’m like a certified idiot at this point,” he rambles on, ruefully.

“You’re not that bad,” he says, nudging his shoulder with his own, “I should have given you more time.”

He has maybe spent a couple of sleepless nights thinking about various what ifs. Mostly that is just a waste of time, but he knows they could have done some things a little differently. If he could go back in time, he would try to understand him a little more because the timing was truly atrocious.

He squeezes his arm slightly. “Stop it, you didn’t do anything wrong. It would have been unfair to ask you to wait around while I got my shit together.”

“I did end up waiting anyway,” he remarks.

He isn’t convinced if it can be called waiting, because he certainly didn’t wait for him to change his mind. Sure, he had hoped that things would have worked out differently between them, but in reality, he had just waited to get over him and his crush.

He sharply sucks in his breath and looks back at him. His whole face softens and there is a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Is it wrong if I’m kinda glad that you did?”

His heart skips a beat at the implication of his words.

“No.”

His face breaks into a full smile, and it illuminates his face at least as much as the sunbeams of the sunset. He slides a little closer to him on the edge of the pavement and he cups his face with one hand. His movements are tentative, but seemingly thoughtful. He lets his hand slide along his cheek, and he ends up holding his chin with his fingers.

“Can I?” He asks, and his voice is barely a whisper, as he searches something from his eyes.

He has to admit that TK is a little more than good at making him feel that they are the only people in the world. “Yeah.”

His lips meet his in an instant. It’s soft kiss and his lips are warm against his own. He faintly tastes like lime and even though the kiss above all is a comforting one, and it still sends a thrill through his spine. Most of all, it feels like coming home.

“I missed you,” he murmurs when TK only slightly pulls away.

“Me too,” he tells him gently, brushing his cheekbone with his thumb before he pulls further away.

“Turns out you’re very hard to stop thinking about,” he says, in a light tone, almost jokingly, even though it is the truth.

He remembers when he described TK to Michelle all those months ago and said that he cannot get him out of his head. That had been a more accurate description than he would have imagined.

TK laughs so hard he lets his head fall back. “That’s probably first time anyone has said that about me,” he says, flashing a brilliant smile, but his smile fades away and he looks graver. “I know you deserved better than what I did, but I never not wanted you. I was just—in a messy and confusing place in my life and I didn’t want to get hurt again.”

Carlos stays quiet, because he feels like he might not have finished talking and he has heard these things before, and he just wants to give him the space to say what he wants to.

“And I didn’t want to hurt you either, and I thought maybe you would be better off without me,” he says, quietly, but he looks back up to him.

“That’s quite an assumption to make on your own,” he tells him, kindly.

He knows he could have backed off of whatever they had at any point, and usually he doesn’t want to bother with people who have gone through messy break ups because he doesn’t want to end up being the rebound. He could have backed off when he learned about his addiction, but he had not, because he had seen TK as himself and he knew he was worth chasing for.

“I know, I’m good at jumping into conclusions,” he jokes, but sighs deeply. “And as you know, I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but the universe must have been mocking me by throwing you at my way because--,” he lets his voice trail away.

“You’re you and I got a glimpse of what we could be, and it was almost too good to be true, and I got fucking terrified, and it threw me off the loop and I was a coward,” he finishes, and he has been talking rapidly the whole time, and he ends up sounding breathless.

“You were not,” he corrects him. “You were trying to protect yourself and there’s nothing wrong with that,” he adds, softly, and takes his hand into his own. “And I’d have never wanted you to do something you were not ready for.”

TK glances at their hands, almost wistfully, but he doesn’t pull his own away. “I guess. And what I’m trying to say is that I still want you if you will have me.”

A wave of relief goes through him and he lets out a long exhale. He looks at the skyline that has been painted bright orange and golden by the sunset and he feels calm even if his heart keeps fluttering in his chest and he cannot physically fight the smile that tries to form on his lips.

“I’m generally not opposed to second chances,” he says and raises their intertwined hands so that he can kiss his knuckles. “And I wouldn’t want anyone else.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

This time, Carlos is the one who kisses him. The kiss itself is still gentle, but there are stronger emotions humming underneath it, and he is squeezing his hand a little tighter, as if fearing that he would disappear. TK’s hand ends up in his neck and he is stroking his hairline with his fingertips and he parts his lips slightly and TK laughs into the kiss.

“I thought--,” TK tries when they depart to breath, but he is still resting his head against his forehead. “I thought I had messed up any chance with the back and forth,” he admits against his lips.

“This better be the last back-and-forth we do,” he says, with a chuckle. “I only want this if you’re all in, too.”

“I am,” he promises, and he sounds so sure of it, he cannot even doubt his words.

TK kisses him again, and it is the sort of all-consuming kiss they shared in the very beginning, and all of his senses are just full of him. The way he smells the cologne he uses and the way his fingers feel just slightly rough against his cheek and his slight stubble tickles his chin. He is his one and only thought.

“This evening took a turn I wasn’t expecting,” he says, when they pull away from each other once again. He tries to catch his breath, but his stomach keeps somersaulting at just the way TK keeps glancing at him.

“I know,” he laughs.

“You know, we can still take it as slow as you want,” he says, when his mind feels just a bit clearer, because he knows that just because they have decided to give it another go, it doesn’t mean any of the issues that existed already would magically disappear.

“Yeah,” he breathes out, but he grins. “Would you like to go out with me? Honest to god date and all that,” he asks, excitment colouring his voice.

“I’d love that.”

“Great,” he says, planting a kiss on his forehead. “Also unrelated to asking you out because I’m going to plan a proper date and not just some impromptu thing, but do you want something to eat? I’m starving.”

“Sure,” he replies, and stands up. He helps TK up too, even though he doesn’t require help, but he likes to do it, anyway. “Tacos?” He asks, nodding towards a taco cart that is located a couple of blocks away.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

Suddenly, tacos feel like a beginning of something new.

#carlosreyesweek2021 #tarlos #tarlos fic #carlos reyes #tk strand #it's yet another mess i wrote and i'm posting it

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lire-casander · 4 years ago

Text

some things are meant to be

[1,291 words] [teen and up audiences] [beta'ed by @meloingly and @ravens-words. you guys rock!] [title from can’t help falling in love by elvis presley] [tk strand, carlos reyes] [fluff, love declarations, first i love you, good things happen bingo] [written for @immortalstrand as part of my lire’s 20 for the 20th, and also for my good things happen bingo card, first i love you]

[tk goes on a quest to finding out where his boyfriend is after waking up to an empty bed]

[my dear karen, i am so happy to have you in my life. you bring such joy with your mere presence, and you're always supportive and wonderful.I hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it]

some things are meant to be | on ao3

TK wakes up to a cold, empty bed. He frowns when his hand touches the sheets, the fabric mocking him as he tries to get a hold of the warm body that he thought would be lying next to him. There's a second of panic flaring through his veins, the fear of having been left alone creeping up on him. It takes a moment for him to realize that he's not dreaming anymore — that the nightmares that plague his mind haven't followed him to the real world — and he only allows himself to relax when he hears noises downstairs. He checks the clock on the nightstand, the blinking white numbers screaming that it's way too early to be up on his day off, the dusk adding a golden shade to everything in the room.

Clearly he can no longer sleep properly if Carlos isn't in bed with him.

He sits up on the bed, his hands rubbing the remnants of sleep from his eyes. He spots the jeans he wore the night before, haphazardly discarded on the floor, and he thinks his shirt is the one dangling off the loveseat Carlos keeps in his bedroom, but he can't be sure. The previous night is still a blur of lust and need and feelings in his hazy mind.

As if on cue, the noise downstairs becomes louder, the clanking sounds of what seems to be pans and pots reaching his ears. There’s a soft underlying thrumming as well, the tune of a recognizable melody echoing through the house. TK thinks that it must be on purpose, the volume at which the music is playing — there's no way Carlos is listening to music this loud without wanting to wake TK up. He gets off the bed, grabs his jeans and stares at them before discarding them once again, this time on the loveseat. He looks at the shirt there, confirming it's his, and chooses to open the closet opposite the bed in search of something more comfortable to wear.

The drawers and hangers inside the closet greet him silently when he pulls the doors open. TK smiles fondly at the police uniforms and sweaters that Carlos keeps neatly folded, at the dress shirts that hang from the bar. Everything inside this closet smells like Carlos; he could spend his whole life inside just to feel like he's closer to Carlos. He might have done that, a couple of times, when their shifts didn't align and he was missing his boyfriend — he'd used the key Carlos had given him and just sat on the floor, surrounded by Carlos' clothes, breathing him in as a poor substitute of the real man, until they could see each other again.

There are a few of his things in there as well — a couple of his spare polo shirts for work, a pair of sweatpants just in case, a couple of pairs of his sneakers. TK is beginning to realize that there's a bit of himself in every corner of this house, and instead wanting to run away, he finds he’s just willing to take this leap of faith. He isn’t hiding anymore, he isn't scared anymore. It's both terrifying and exhilarating.

Picking up his phone from the nightstand, he puts on the sweatpants and throws a sleeveless t-shirt over his head, fighting his way through the holes as he walks out of the room and climbs down the stairs. He doesn’t go all the way through them, though — he stops dead in his tracks when he hears Carlos' voice singing way out of tune. TK sticks his head surreptitiously over the railing to spy on his boyfriend, and what he sees steals his breath away.

Carlos is preparing breakfast — pancakes and French toast, if the smells are anything to go by, since TK can't see the stove from this angle — and he's wearing boxers and one of TK's old and worn AFD workout t-shirts. There’s a Bluetooth speaker on the counter behind him, and the deep, rich voice of Elvis Presley is filling the air with soft chords. Without thinking it through, TK opens the recording app on his phone and begins catching Carlos singing on tape. It's not a common occurrence, because as much as Carlos loves music he doesn't really sing out loud unless he's all alone. TK knows he won't be sharing this video with anyone, but he might save it for himself — for those days when he can’t see Carlos and these tiny bits of domesticity are the only solace his heart is allowed to have.

Carlos moves around the kitchen with practiced ease, picking up ingredients to add to the mix. TK can see how Carlos grabs the peanut butter and places it on a tray, along with a glass of orange juice and a large cup of what smells like coffee. It takes him a moment to understand the scene unfolding in front of him.

Carlos is preparing breakfast in bed for him.>.

He thinks his heart is going to leap out of his chest. It’s beating so hard, so quick, so in tune with the music and the whole feeling of belonging he suddenly has. He’s never felt like this before — he’s never felt this whole before — not even with Alex. What a fool he’d been, mistaking infatuation and a deep need to be seen with actual love that can move mountains and tear down defense walls around his heart.

Love.

The realization hits him like a freight train with no control derailing against a crowded area. It’s scary, but somehow he understands that it’s also the only thing that makes sense in his life right now. Carlos and the love they share — the love he’s been so terrified of allowing into his life and his heart. But not anymore. Never again.

TK hurries down the stairs two steps at a time, wild with the need to take his boyfriend in his arms and never let go. Carlos looks up in bewilderment when he hears footsteps. He turns to switch off the stove before checking that everything’s fine; his lips curve in a brilliant smile when he sees TK rushing down the stairs. “TK, I thought you were still—”

TK pounces, flinging himself into Carlos’ arms and hugging him tight against his chest, making him huff out a small gasp. “I love you,” he whispers into Carlos’ curls, silky and wild and perfect. He feels the moment Carlos realizes what he’s said — the first time he’s ever said those words to Carlos. TK has always relied on his actions to speak louder than his words — allowing non-verbal love languages to take over his relationship — but right now it seems like a silly thing to do. The words fill up the space, resounding on the walls and echoing in his soul, matching almost perfectly with Elvis’ voice singing some things are meant to be.

“I love you too,” Carlos says back after a beat, burrowing his face deeper into TK’s skin. He wraps his arms around TK’s waist, squeezing tightly.

TK drops a kiss on Carlos’ head, followed by a trail that leads him to lift Carlos’ face and stare into warm, brown eyes. “I love you,” he repeats, more confident now. “I don’t think there’s ever been a moment when I didn’t love you, Carlos.”

TK can see the effect his words have on his boyfriend — how Carlos’ whole face lights up, how his smile broadens, how his eyes shine — and he vows to always make sure that Carlos knows, with both words and actions, that he’s cherished.

Elvis is still singing in the background when he takes Carlos’ hand and leads him upstairs, breakfast long forgotten on the counter.

#you say i'm your hero (but you're the one who saved me)#immortalstrand #fluff #love declarations #first i love you #good things happen bingo #lire's 20 for the 20th #carlos reyes #tk strand #carlos reyes/tk strand #tk strand/carlos reyes #911ls #911ls fic #911 lone star #911 lone star fic #tarlos #tarlos fic

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howtosingit · 4 years ago

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Fic: Sometimes Things Just Fall Apart

TK comes home to a dark, silent house, no dog to greet him at the door, and a husband laying in bed, still dressed in his work uniform; it’s anything but normal.

Written for @tarlosweek2020 - Day 2: “It’s okay to cry” + Comfort

2.1K | Also on AO3.

-----

The house feels cold and empty when TK gets home from work.

It’s unsettlingly, considering the Strand-Reyes household is pretty much always bright and bursting with energy. Usually when he walks through the door, he’s met with the furry hurricane of a golden retriever, who tries to tackle him with kisses before he even slips out of his shoes. When Carlos beats him home, TK usually finds him in the kitchen, music playing and smells permeating the space as his husband prepares dinner for the two of them. He always slips in next to Carlos to claim his customary “thank you for being safe at work and coming home to me” kisses - one pressed to his forehead and one to his lips - before grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and sitting at the island so that they can fill each other in on their workdays.

None of that greets TK when he walks through the door today. There isn’t a single light on, and no Max to greet him with slobbery kisses. He knows Carlos is home, having pulled alongside the Camaro in the garage. He calls out as he slips off his shoes, but no one answers. A chill runs through TK when he spots Max’s leash hanging by the door, a feeling of dread coursing through him as he takes in the stark, uninviting kitchen to his left, and the equally uninhabited living room to his right.

TK cuts through the house, heading for the stairs, his heart beating heavier with each step as he searches for his husband. His mind is spinning with possible explanations, wondering what might have happened at work for Carlos to bring it home with him. TK knows that Carlos does everything he can to not let his job seep into their home, a discipline that TK has also worked to strengthen in himself. It doesn’t mean that they don’t talk about the hard days, but usually when they happen, Carlos will text him when he’s off work and they’ll spend the evening out, either at a park or seeing a movie or getting dinner. Anything to purge the pain of their work before they go to bed for the night. It’s not a perfect system, but they’ve made it work for them, and the fact that Carlos has broken the expected routine shakes TK to his core.

His fear increases when he steps onto the second-floor landing and hears no sounds from the bathroom. He wondered if Carlos may have been in the shower and not heard him when he called, but that idea dies in the continued silence. He continues forward to their bedroom, pushing against the ajar door to peer inside. His breath steals from his chest at what he finds.

Laying on the bed, back-to-back, are his two guys. Max looks up at him from his side of the bed, a concerned look on his face. The fact that he makes no move to greet him tells TK all that he needs to know. His husband lays on the far side of the bed, his back to the door, and TK notices that he’s still fully-dressed in his uniform, shoes and duty belt included. It’s such a jarring sight that TK freezes before he can even take a step into the room.

“Carlos?” he says softly, his voice carrying across the stiff silence in the room like a siren scream. There’s no movement from his husband, and TK wonders if he might be asleep. Max turns his head to nudge against the back of Carlos’s neck, a soft whine escaping him; TK feels his heart break.

He moves quietly, circling around the foot of the bed to stand in front of Carlos. He’s shocked to find his eyes open, the brown irises that are usually filled with love and warmth unnervingly blank as they stare straight ahead at the far corner of the room. His husband makes no indication that he’s even noticed him.

TK slowly sinks to his knees, bringing them face-to-face. Carlos continues to stare through him, his expression an unchanging mask. “Hey, you,” TK whispers, a forced smile forming on his face as he tries to get any sort of reaction out of his husband. It’s not until he brings a hand up to delicately grip Carlos’s wrist that his husband finally notices his presence.

It’s sudden, a visible shiver running down his entire body as his eyes blink warily, his pupils dilating as they shift to focus on TK. The moment their eyes meet, TK watches as Carlos’s eyebrows furrow in distress, the crease between them intensifying dramatically. He feels his heart split open in his chest, Carlos’s obvious pain stabbing him like a dozen knives. They’ve been that way since they first started dating, so completely linked that their emotions sometimes blend together into something they both carry for one another.

TK leans forward, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m right here, okay?” he murmurs, shifting to touch his lips to Carlos’s cheek. He feels his husband shake beneath him as an uneven sigh escapes his lips. “Can we take off your uniform? You can’t be comfortable, babe.”

There’s a pause as TK stays close, waiting for Carlos to respond. When he does, with a silent nod, TK presses another kiss to his skin before pulling back to stand up.

It’s a slow process, but he doesn’t care. He gets Carlos into a sitting position, and item-by-item he undresses his husband, starting with his belt and shoes. He notices that Carlos’s gun is missing and he’s relieved to know that, despite whatever happened today, his husband wasn’t out of it enough to not put his firearm in the safe. As each article of clothing is removed, TK presses a soft kiss to Carlos’s exposed skin.

His husband, usually so large and physically imposing but now so small and reserved, stares up at him as he completes his task. Finally, Carlos is left only in his boxer briefs and undershirt, and TK quickly undresses down to the same before taking his husband’s hand and pulling him to lay back down on the bed, this time the two of them laying face-to-face. He notices that Max has moved to his own bed in the corner, happy to let TK take over as caregiver now that he’s home.

“Thank you,” Carlos breathes out, his first words striking hard after such a heavy absence. They’re close enough that TK can feel his breath on his face, and he takes a moment to rub their noses together, bringing a hand up to run his fingers along Carlos’s jaw.

“Of course,” TK responds just as quietly, a sad smile pulling at his lips. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

TK is relieved when Carlos immediately nods, though he says nothing at first.

“I’m here when you’re ready, okay? Take your time,” he confirms, scooting closer to press their bodies fully together. He stares into Carlos’s eyes, watching as his usually warm brown irises swim with tears that refuse to fall. He’s terrified, having no idea what could’ve happened for Carlos to react like this, his mind supplying the absolute worst-case scenarios. Then, suddenly, as if he’s dragging the words through his throat from his core, Carlos stutters out just two words.

“Maureen called.”

TK’s brain stops short, every explanation that his brain had been expecting vanishing into thin air at Carlos’s response. He feels like he’s been shut inside of a walk-in freezer, every inch of his body erupting in one long, chilled-to-the-bone shiver. Through the roaring in his ears, he hears himself let out a stuttering gasp. He can feel a prickle at the corner of his eyes as his mind pieces together Carlos’s behavior with news from Maureen, and he closes them before a tear can fall, trying to take a deep breath to calm down.

They’ve been struggling through the process of adopting a child for almost a year and a half, cycling through stages of hope and grief almost daily. They were warned, multiple times, that adoption was a complicated and long journey towards starting a family, especially as gay men in Texas with high-risk jobs. Nothing could’ve prepared them for the pain of getting a little closer each time before it all came crashing down with a single call from Maureen, their adoption counselor.

“It’s okay to cry, Ty,” his husband says, a hand coming up to caress his cheek. TK, suddenly overwhelmed, feels his face crumble as a laugh-sob crawls up his throat.

“You stole my line,” he chokes out, opening his eyes again to find Carlos staring at him through his own tear-filled eyes. “Why didn’t you call me, sweetheart?”

“I missed her call,” Carlos explains, his voice thick with emotion, “and couldn’t reach her until I was on my way home. I didn’t want to ruin the end of your day, too.”

This is the third time they’ve actively pursued an adoption opportunity; the previous two times, they did everything they could to remain realistic, reaching a point where they wouldn’t talk to anyone else about it. They’re not superstitious, exactly, it’s just that the more they talk about it, the more they plan and consider what life will be like with a child. They got even further this time, and maybe dared to hope too much. TK watches as Carlos continues to grieve for the lost children they’ll never have, and it breaks his heart every time.

“It kills me to think of you dealing with this alone,” TK worriedly admits, pulling Carlos closer. His husband shifts to press his face in TK’s neck, his favorite place to be, and TK grips him tighter as he feels Carlos shake with new sobs.

“I really thought it was going to happen this time,” he cries softly, TK feeling his tears finally fall onto his neck. He squeezes his own eyes shut, his own tears falling as he presses his face into Carlos’s dark curls.

“Me too, baby. Me too.”

“What if it never does?” Carlos questions after a moment, and TK can tell by the tone of his voice that he’s voicing his greatest fear out-loud for the first time.

“Hey,” TK hedges, pulling back to take his husband’s face in both hands. He stares into those deep brown eyes and knows that he would give anything to bring back their unmatched warmth. “You, Carlos Strand-Reyes, are going to be a dad, okay? Your heart is so big, your love is so strong, and I know that you’re meant to share it with someone who will admire you as much as I do. Someone that you and I will raise and love and adore more than anyone else on this earth. That’s our story, Carlos, that’s what we decided, and just because we haven’t gotten to that chapter, it doesn’t mean we’re going to rewrite it, okay? It’ll happen when it’s meant to happen, I know it will.”

Carlos just stares at him when he goes quiet, his bottom lip quivering as his eyes glisten with fresh tears.

“I love you, Ty,” he gasps, pressing in to claim TK’s lips with his own. It’s a hard, desperate kiss, full of the lingering grief and sudden emptiness that the day has brought, but like every kiss they share, it’s also filled with overwhelming love and comfort, the kind that only they can provide to one another.

When they break apart, Carlos presses their foreheads together. “You’re going to be the best dad in the world, you know that?” he whispers, nudging their noses together.

“I’m not so sure,” TK laughs gently, pressing a quick kiss to his husband’s lips, salty from their tears. “You’ll probably have me beat.”

“I’m serious, Ty,” Carlos presses further, his tone making that clear. “The way you take care of all of us, the way you care for me… I can’t wait to see you with our child. It’s going to be breathtaking.”

“How about a tie then?” TK relents, a smile growing on his lips. “You and me, Best Dads in the World.”

“That’ll be one lucky kid,” Carlos laughs, wrapping his arms around TK’s waist.

TK feels his heart clench in his chest as he watches his husband’s eyes crinkle, their familiar warmth gradually reappearing.

“You have no idea,” TK agrees, tightening his grip on Carlos, their closeness like a salve for their mutually broken hearts.

In each other’s arms, they begin to heal.

#tarlos #tarlos fic #tarlos fanfic #911 lone star #tarlosweek2020 #tk strand #carlos reyes #I wrote a thing

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rafael-silva · 4 years ago

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guide me back (I’m lost without your light): a tarlos fic

“All available units respond to a 10-50 at the intersection of Sixth and North Lamar Boulevard. Multiple vehicle pile up.” “Dispatch, this is 363-H-20 responding. ETA three minutes.”

When Carlos and Mitchell respond to the call, the last thing Carlos expects is to find TK in the middle of the wreck. He races against time to keep TK awake and stable until fire and medical arrive, while sending out prayer after prayer that his time with TK hasn’t been cut short. That they haven’t run out of time.

for bad things happen bingo: tarlos + bloodstained clothes

hurt tk strand, worried carlos reyes, established relationship, whump, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, hurt/comfort, kisses, blood, injury description, major character injury, angst with a happy ending

10.1k | on ao3

*****

“All available units respond to a 10-50 at the intersection of Sixth and North Lamar Boulevard. Multiple vehicle pile up.”

“Dispatch, this is 363-H-20 responding. ETA three minutes.”

The sun sits high in the sky as Carlos grips the steering wheel tightly while Mitchell releases her radio and flicks on the light bar and siren, blaring loudly as they head into the heart of downtown Austin.

It sounded serious, if all available units are being dispatched to the scene, meaning fire engines are being dispatched, too. Carlos fleetly wonders if the 126 will be called to the scene, but he knows he won’t be seeing TK since it’s the paramedic’s day off.

It’s difficult when one of them is working and the other is off; at least if they were both working, there are always chances of them meeting on calls, and if they were both off, well, those days were spent in utter happiness together, either spent in or out, it didn’t matter as long as they were spent together. They make it work, however, spending as much time together before one of them goes to work and then at night, cuddling on the couch or in bed, safe in each other’s arms after a long day.

Carlos hopes the accident isn’t as grave as he’s imagining but his gut is telling him otherwise. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he realizes there’s a big possibility he might be late for the home dinner date he and TK had planned. TK had said he had a surprise for Carlos, and was clearly super excited about it. Carlos was looking forward to it and now…

Carlos’s gut is proven right when they round the corner and he catches sight of the crash from a few blocks away. Dread sets in his stomach the closer they get to the scene, other police cruisers pulling up at the same time.

He might need to tell TK that his shift may run long. He holds back at that, though, first wanting to get a full feel of how the rest of his shift will pan out.

Carlos parks and shares a concerned look with his partner before drawing in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. They hop out of the car and Carlos takes a quick survey of their surroundings, noticing that they had arrived at the scene before fire and medical.

Carlos starts moving towards where the accident is the worst, and well, it’s bad. Four cars seem to have harshly rear ended each other, the crushed metal an indication of how sudden and quick it had happened. He can’t really tell one car from the other, all of them mangled together in a way that tells Carlos there are definitely more than a few injuries sustained to the people who were in these cars.

He doesn’t have much time to draw any more conclusions because he’s frantically being flagged down by a man around his own age, who seems unharmed. Bystander, Carlos’s mind supplies.

Carlos jogs over as the man takes a few steps towards him and starts speaking.

“He’s stuck,” the man starts, leading Carlos to one of the cars, or what’s left of one, in the middle of the wreck. “The door on one side popped open from the force of the crash but the guy inside can’t move. And we didn’t want to move him. He’s on the opposite side of the backseat and he’s in rough shape, seems to be going in and out of consciousness.”

Carlos swallows and follows him, whoever this man is, Carlos is going to do everything he can to help him until fire and medical arrive.

“It’s good you didn’t move him, that might have caused more damage,” Carlos tells him, his legs moving quickly.

The closer he gets, the more Carlos is hit with a sense of familiarity towards the injured man. He frowns, his heart starting to race in his chest as he zeroes in on the figure slumped in the backseat.

And that side profile, Carlos can draw it with his eyes closed.

He freezes when the realization dawns on him. His legs stop moving, his feet nailed to the asphalt. It feels like his heart is about to leap out of his chest while his eyes go impossibly wide.

TK.

And no, no, no. It can’t be TK. He was just texting him less than twenty minutes ago. He’s worried his brain is playing a cruel trick on him, conjuring up this nightmare. Carlos shakes his head, earning himself a confused look from the man leading him, who has also stopped moving.

But Carlos doesn’t spare him a glance, his attention solely held by the man in the crushed car. And when said man weakly opens his eyes and they catch some light, Carlos knows beyond a doubt that this nightmare is in fact reality.

Those green eyes, even seeing them from the side and through an awkward angle, can only belong to the love of his life.

“No,” Carlos whispers as his heart plummets into his knees, his body heating up. “No, no,” he repeats and then his feet are finally moving again, and he’s running around another car, his eyes not leaving TK.

He briefly registers the man’s growing confusion but he just rushes past him, no time for explanation, the only thing mattering to him is getting to TK. Saving TK.

He only slows down when he’s right by TK’s side, with only the smashed door separating them. The window is shattered, the ground littered with broken pieces of glass that crunch underneath Carlos’s boots.

TK’s eyes have closed again, but Carlos can see his chest slowly rising and falling with each shallow breath he sucks in.

“TK?” Carlos speaks, the rest of the accident fading away. The movement around is in slow motion, sounds muted, the world narrowing to just him and TK. “TK, can you hear me?”

Carlos can’t even hear his own voice over the blood rushing in his ears, but by the way TK tilts his head an inch towards him, he heard him.

A beat. And then: “‘Los…”

Carlos lets out a breath he wasn’t fully aware he was holding, his shoulders sagging forward a little. “Hey, babe. I’m here, I’m here.”

Carlos runs his eyes over TK, and his heart breaks a little more at the bloody state the paramedic is in.

“I’m stuck,” TK wheezes. “Can’t move.”

“We’ll get you out, just hang on. Help is on the way,” Carlos replies, hoping his voice is steadier than it sounds to his own ears. He then turns his attention to the older man in the front seat. “Sir, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” the man nods. “I’m fine, nothing hurts too bad. The hit was harder from the back.”

Carlos’s fear increases at that piece of information. “You let me know if your pain changes,” he tells him before his attention is back on TK. “TK, can you tell me what hurts?”

“Head, chest…and side,” TK replies through gritted teeth, squeezing his eyes as a wave of pain shocks his nerves, running through his battered body. Everything feels like it’s on fire, every breath he tries to draw in hurts, and he’s tired, he’s so tired.

But he isn’t alone anymore, Carlos is here now. TK is aware that his odds aren’t good, based on his years of work experience, but he finds himself not panicking at that thought as much anymore. Because Carlos is right here. He would even go as far as saying he feels a little calm now, but what he can’t answer is whether that is due to shock or Carlos’s presence. TK decides to believe it’s courtesy of the latter. Because shock would be very bad.

He isn’t aware his eyes have drifted shut until the officer’s voice filters through, telling him to open them and TK manages to peel his eyelids open and faces Carlos’s worried gaze.

“Stay with me,” Carlos pleads, those brown eyes that TK loves so much filled to the brim with terror. “Don’t close your eyes, look at me. Focus on me.”

TK obliges. He loves looking at Carlos, loves running his hands over his face, his cheekbones, feeling Carlos smile against his touch. TK wants to reach out, to smooth out the worry engraved on Carlos’s forehead, in the creases that sit above his eyebrows, but he can’t move a muscle. He wants to reassure Carlos that he’s okay, but not only does he momentarily lose his voice, he also doesn’t know how true his statement would be. Because he’s now suddenly very much aware of the amount of blood running down his side, sticky and hot. The side glued to the crushed door.

He groans, feeling the panic start to rise again. Being stuck was already bad enough, but being stuck while also bleeding is far worse that TK doesn’t even want to think about it.

“Hey, hey,” Carlos’s voice returns. “Focus on me, it’s okay. I know it’s scary, but I’m right here.”

“Carlos,” TK cries out, a tear rolling down his cheek.

Carlos, very carefully, reaches his arm through the busted window, and with just as much caution, cups TK’s face and wipes the stray tear with the pad of his thumb. He’s aware of everything all at once, the way his hand shook as he moved it towards TK, how clammy TK’s skin feels, the beads of sweat rolling down his own neck and back.

“I’m right here.”

TK sniffs and nods as he leans into Carlos’s touch. It’s warm, and TK gravitates towards that warmth. The warmth that has become his home.

Carlos begins cataloging TK’s injuries: a cut near his temple that looks deep enough to need stitches, possible concussion, chest pain can be a result of the seatbelt tightening when the crash happened, but he can’t assess how badly TK’s side is hurt from his current position.

He doesn’t have much time to dwell on that, though, because TK is speaking a few moments later.

“My side…it’s bleeding…” TK murmurs once he’s gathered his voice, his mind suppling that he needs to tell Carlos. “I think it’s bad.”

The small amount of color remaining in Carlos’s face drains at TK’s words, his heart dropping further and it feels like he’s been drenched with a bucket of ice water. His mind freezes for a second before he’s shaking himself out of it. He needs to act, and quick.

“Can you reach it and apply pressure?” Carlos asks. “Easy though, slow movements.”

TK attempts to move his arm towards the injury but quickly grimaces and drops his arm.

“No,” TK’s voice shakes, the slight movement exhausting him further. “Hurts.”

“Shit,” Carlos’s own panic starts taking hold, evident in the way his hands start to shake again. They have to slow the bleeding if TK has any chance of making it out of this nightmare.

Then Carlos remembers that the other door is practically already ripped off the car. Making up his mind, he gives TK’s hand a squeeze and rushes to the other side of the car.

“Hang on, TK, I’m coming,” Carlos says as he quickly assesses the area where the door was once attached to the car.

It looks stable enough and the car isn’t tilted to either side or unbalanced, so Carlos carefully climbs in and pauses to see if his added weight caused any shift. Once there’s no evidence of that, he moves closer to TK, their thighs side by side.

Carlos reaches around TK with his left arm, eyes glued to his middle and surely enough, TK’s t-shirt is stained with blood. The officer has to swallow against his dry throat at the sight, there’s so much blood already and TK is looking paler by the second.

Carlos’s hand finds its target, and his fingers brush against the tip of the metal lodged into TK’s side. He feels sick to his stomach as he begins to apply as much pressure as he could without causing further damage or sinking the metal deeper into TK’s flesh.

TK whines at the pain jolting through his body, waking him up a little as he squeezing his eyes shut, more tears run freely down his face.

“I know, I know,” Carlos speaks, his tone apologetic.

TK’s eyes start to droop, the momentary adrenaline already wearing off and his head falls backwards against the headrest.

“No, no, TK,” Carlos eyes go wide, his voice strained. “Keep your eyes open, stay with me.”

“Carlos…” TK whispers.

“Right beside you, babe. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re his fiancé,” the older man’s voice reaches Carlos’s ears from the front seat.

Carlos turns to face him with a questioning look, his eyes drawing together at the statement.

“He was,” the driver pauses to breathe. “He was talking about you before the crash.”

Carlos sucks in a deep breath through his nose, nodding as his eyes begin to glisten with unshed tears. “Yeah,” he turns back to look at TK. “He’s the love of my life.”

TK is still clinging to consciousness and Carlos receives a small smile from him at his declaration.

“That’s it, baby. Stay with me,” Carlos pleads once more, closing his eyes and gently resting his forehead against TK’s uninjured temple, melting into him.

He keeps a steady hold on TK’s side, and senses TK weakly gravitating towards him even more, Carlos his lifeline. TK uses all his remaining energy to reach out into the small distance and latches his hand onto Carlos’s arm, wrapping his fingers there.

“I got you, Ty, I got you.”

A few moments later, the air around them fills with the roaring of sirens, getting closer and closer.

“Hear that, TK? Help is here,” Carlos says, instilling hope with every word.

He turns his head in the direction of the incoming fire trucks and ambulances, watching as red and blue color everything around. His eyes immediately find the bold 126 painted on the truck that comes to a halt on the edge of the crash site.

“Hey!” Carlos calls out for the young man who lead him here. “Direct them this way!” He nudges his head towards the team who are disembarking from the truck.

The man nods and starts running towards the firefighters.

“Hang on, TK, hang on,” Carlos whispers.

He looks back into the open and relaxes just a fraction when he spots Judd on the man’s heels, jogging towards him.

Carlos can pinpoint the moment Judd realizes who he’s moving towards, the firefighter’s eyebrow raising a little.

“Reyes?” Judd calls out before he’s reached the car.

“Judd, it’s TK,” Carlos wastes no time in responding.

Those three words have Judd’s eyes going wide, his speed picking up and he runs the remaining distance to the car, coming to a stop on the side TK’s jammed.

“He’s stuck and bleeding badly,” Carlos continues, looking past TK and at Judd through the broken window.

“Shit,” Judd mutters and then louder, in the direction of the rig: “Tommy! Nancy!”

Judd’s eyes roam over TK’s ashen face, the younger man’s eyes barely opened.

“Hey, brother,” Judd speaks, his voice carrying its natural strength but also soft and filled with concern. “You’re gonna be alright, just hang on.”

He gets a half-nod from TK in reply.

Tommy and Nancy approach the car, each of them clutching their equipment and medical bags, ready to get to work.

“It’s TK,” Judd tells them when they’re by his side. They both pause midair as they’re lowering the bags, their eyes going equally wide as they process Judd’s words.

Carlos can see the worry flash over their faces and they share a quick look of concern before they both switch back into paramedic mode. He knows what they’re thinking, that they have to be at the top of their game. TK is family, and he can feel their fear and pain, but they need to focus so they can save TK.

They both meet Carlos’s worried eyes before getting to work.

“Hey, TK,” Tommy gets closer to the crushed door, gloves on and clicks her pen light. Her voice is calm and gentle, her motherly tone helps even Carlos relax a little.

“Cap…” TK whispers.

“Follow the light, TK.”

She shines the pen into TK’s glassy eyes, his pupils responding to the light as they should, albeit a little weaker than she’d like.

“Talk to me, Carlos,” Tommy says while her attention is solely focused on TK. “Tell me everything.”

“He said his head, chest and side hurt, his side is bleeding badly. I have pressure on it and I can feel a piece of metal stuck in there,” he swallows, feeling the blood seeping through his fingers. “The bleeding slowed down a little but he’s already lost so much blood.”

Tommy nods, accepting the c-collar from Nancy and carefully placing it around TK’s neck to stabilize him.

Judd looks up when he hears the rest of the crew approaching, and after a brief glance with Carlos, Judd moves in their direction, seeking out Owen.

“Cap,” Judd shields Owen’s view of the wrecked car.

Owen frowns, but immediately sees through Judd’s worried eyes. “What is it?”

Judd takes a deep breath. He has always been a straightforward guy, he won’t start beating around the bush now. “It’s TK, he’s in that car.”

Carlos’s heart breaks even more at the gasp he hears from Owen, followed by rapid footsteps pounding the gravel as the captain rushes over.

He’s at the car from Carlos’s side and looking past his shoulder a few moments later, Owen’s eyes blown wide as they move from his son to his soon to be son-in-law.

“Carlos.”

“His side is bleeding,” Carlos tells Owen, more tears gathering in his eyes. “He couldn’t reach it to apply pressure and I had to do something.”

Owen nods, his eyes going back to TK, who’s barely moving. “It’s gonna be okay, son. You’re gonna be okay. We’re here.”

TK slowly opens his eyes the rest of the way and looks in Owen’s direction through his blurry vision. He tries to send a wordless message to his father and fiancé of I’m okay.

Owen gives him a smile, but it’s shakier than he intended.

“Here,” Tommy’s voice grabs their attention. She hands Carlos a large piece of gauze as Nancy moves to the front to check the driver.

Carlos begins to move, and TK instantly whimpers and tries to keep his already weak hold on the other man.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, TK,” Carlos is quick to reassure him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He maneuvers his free arm to take the piece of cotton and swiftly lifts his bloodied palm to cover TK’s wound with the gauze and returns the pressure there.

The team has gathered what was happening and crowd the car, Carlos is vaguely aware of Judd telling them they’ve got TK and they should go around the rest of the scene to help.

And then Judd is back, evaluating the situation and weighing their options.

“His breathing is getting worse,” Carlos announces with fright as TK’s hold on him starts to falter. “We need to get him out now.”

“The driver is doing okay, Cap,” Nancy chimes in. “Alert and his numbers are holding.”

Tommy nods. “We get TK out first. Carlos, is the metal connected to the door or is it separated?”

Carlos shakes his head. “Separated.”

“That’s good, makes busting the door open easier,” Judd nods.

“Judd, grab the—” Owen begins.

“Jaws, got them,” Judd finishes for Owen before running in the direction of their truck.

He returns less than a minute later, but it feels like forever for Carlos and Owen as they watch TK struggle to hold on.

“Come on, come on,” Owen whispers, his eyes not leaving his son’s battered form as Judd returns, pushes the piece of equipment into the mangled metal and starts to tear it apart.

Tommy and Nancy get the backboard ready in the meantime, ready to move as soon as it’s clear. A lot of movement erupts when the door is finally ripped open. Judd lowers the jaws to the ground, quickly reaching for the cutters he had also retrieved and cuts the seatbelt off TK. It takes Carlos’s brain a second to catch up with all the action and then his eyes land on Owen now standing on the other side behind Judd as both men make room for Tommy and Nancy.

They carefully place the tip of the backboard against the backseat cushion and Nancy and Judd carefully take hold of TK’s shoulders, moving him sideways and then guiding him to lie on the board. Carlos goes with them, the pressure he’s applying constant and he only lets go once he’s certain Nancy’s taking over, her hand firmly covering his.

He pulls back and watches as Judd and Owen carry TK over to the gurney. He wastes no time in getting out of the car himself, darting to TK’s side.

Once TK is out, Judd starts working on extracting the driver.

Tommy and Nancy work in unison, the Paramedic Captain covering TK’s face with an oxygen mask while Nancy inserts an IV in his arm and runs a line. Carlos then notices that Owen is applying pressure to TK’s side with one hand while the other runs through TK’s hair.

Carlos takes TK’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Let’s move,” Tommy instructs a moment later.

Nancy takes over holding pressure as they push the gurney towards the ambulance, Carlos and Owen trailing behind.

“Carlos?”

Carlos turns at his partner’s voice, coming from a few feet away.

Mitchell is about to ask where he’s been but her eyes go wide instead when they land on TK lying on the gurney.

“I have to—”

She’s nodding before Carlos finishes his sentence. “Go, I’ll sort it out.”

“Thank you,” Carlos gives her the best grateful smile he could muster before hopping in after TK and Tommy.

“I’ll be right behind you,” Owen says once TK is inside the rig.

Carlos nods, taking a seat on the small bench.

Nancy shuts the doors and races to the driver’s seat, climbing in and the sirens wail as they start to move.

Owen watches the ambulance drive away, the hot pit in his stomach growing with each passing second.

Carlos and Tommy don’t exchange words, each of them focusing on TK. Tommy is monitoring his vitals, giving him fluids and administering a local nerve blocker to help with the pain.

Carlos clutches TK’s free hand with both of his own, closing his eyes and willing his racing heart to slow down a beat. He works on his breathing, steading his rhythm but he can’t help the stray tear that falls when he opens his eyes and looks at TK.

Carlos’s chest is in knots, his heart in pieces, TK is too still, too pale.

It’s almost like TK feels his fiancé’s anguish and pain, and on some level, he does because he’s weakly turning in Carlos’s direction. It’s always been a thing TK and Carlos talk about—the way they sense each other and what the other needs and this moment is yet another one to prove that connection true.

“It’s okay, ‘Los,” TK manages, his voice frail and muffled even more by the oxygen mask.

Carlos sniffs, moving closer to TK so he’s in his line of sight and nods. “Yeah, baby. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“I love you,” TK whispers.

“I love you too, baby,” Carlos reciprocates. “Hold on.”

TK nods, a promise Carlos clings onto with everything he’s got. And he prays today isn’t the day he loses TK.

They’ve only just begun.

*****

It’s a short but tense ride to the hospital.

Tommy had examined TK’s chest and Carlos’s assumption that it was the seatbelt that hurt him is proven right by the massive red bruise already formed down the paramedic’s torso. Carlos had drawn in a sharp breath at seeing it, heartbroken that TK has been injured to that extent. Tommy had also told Carlos that TK may have also suffered a bruised lung from the force of the seatbelt against his chest.

A team is already awaiting their arrival, tearing the ambulance doors open as soon as it comes to a halt in front of the Emergency Room entrance. Tommy relays all the information as they push TK inside and through the hallways. They reach a point where Tommy, Carlos and Nancy can’t follow and Carlos has to reluctantly let go of his tight hold on TK’s hand.

His heart shatters as he watches the doctors and nurses wheel TK away, feeling like he’s been ripped away from him.

He stands there for what seems like hours, watching the hallway long after TK was pushed into the elevator, Carlos’s eyes fixed on its closed doors. He feels a hand land on his shoulder, and he doesn’t need to turn to know who it is.

“Come on, Carlos,” Tommy’s soft voice reaches him.

Carlos lets her lead him towards the waiting area and he drops into one of the plastic chairs, hating how familiar they have become.

He shakes his head then drops it slightly and only looks up when a few wet wipes are in his line of sight.

He gratefully accepts them but doesn’t move for a few moments after. His gaze is focused on his own hands, his hands that are covered with TK’s blood. And his ring, his ring is coated in crimson, nearly obscuring the silver underneath and it makes his stomach churn in an unnatural way.

Carlos closes his eyes, going back to the day TK had slid this ring onto his finger, to the joy and contentment they had both felt, they way they basked in each other’s love when Carlos had said yes. A tear rolls down the officer’s cheek, one he doesn’t bother wiping away. He sniffs, opening his eyes and begins cleaning his hands.

Once the evidence of TK’s accident and injury is transferred to the wipes, Nancy takes them from Carlos’s hold and throws them away before sitting down, too.

The silence stretches, the feel and sound of the hospital nearly haunting. Owen’s arrival breaks it, Carlos looking up when he hears his name being called from afar.

“Carlos,” Owen’s eyes are wide and movement quick.

“Owen,” Carlos gets to his feet in time for the Captain to throw his arms around him in a hug, which Carlos returns.

Owen gives Carlos a squeeze before pulling back. “Did they say anything?”

Carlos shakes his head. “They took his straight up, didn’t say much of anything.”

Owen nods and sits on the chair next to Carlos’s as he too returns to it.

Tommy and Nancy’s radios spring to life a little bit later, and they reluctantly leave, promising to be back as soon as they can.

Carlos starts rolling his ringer over his finger, a gesture he does when he’s nervous or anxious. TK would always notice, and he’d reach out, taking Carlos’s hand and holds it tightly; a silent promise that he isn’t alone, and that TK’s got him. Carlos would give anything to feel TK’s tender touch.

He notices that his ring is still speckled with blood.

“I’ll be right back,” Carlos says as he rises from his place. “Just going to the bathroom.”

Owen nods. “Take your time.”

Carlos follows the signs to the nearest bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror as he gets closer to the sinks. The bathroom is empty, his boots echoing in the space, his eyes not leaving his exhausted reflection staring back at him. All the color has been drained from his face, his eyes a stark red against his pale skin and his usually neat curls are out of place. His eyes drift lower until they stop at his waist where there’s a large, dark stain. His uniform is stained with TK’s blood.

He swallows as he turns on the faucet and lets the water run down at the coldest temperature before sticking his hands under it and working the remaining traces of blood off his ring. He momentarily relishes the cool sensation against his skin, but he soon breaks watching the pink-tinted water swirl down the drain.

It feels like TK is getting further and further away from him as each second passes by. He feels like he’s losing TK.

Helplessness settles in his bones, barely turning off the water and he grips the marble to support himself as his entire body starts to shake with the force of his oncoming sobs. A cry rips through his throat and he tightens his hold on the marble, afraid that his knees will no longer hold him up and he’ll crumble to the ground if he lets go.

He feels the fear crawling underneath his skin, the terror ringing through his whole being, the longing, the pain…it all washes over him at the same time, and he almost collapses from the weight of it. But he holds on. TK needs him to hold on. So he draws in a deep breath, stands up straight and splashes icy water over his face a few times.

Carlos returns to the waiting area with swollen eyes and Owen runs a hand up and down his back once he’s seated next to him once again, patting his shoulder before pulling back.

“We…we were planning on going over to my parents’ for dinner this weekend,” Carlos’s shaky voice slices through the silence that settles over them. “Our schedules lined up and TK was so excited. He,” he pauses, a small smile forming on his face. “He was saying how we should bake something to take to dinner. Chocolate chip cookies. They’re his go-to when it comes to baking,” he trails off, his hands connecting and he starts nervously fidgeting, rubbing his hands together. “Chocolate chip cookies,” he whispers.

“They were always his favorite kind of cookies when he was a kid,” Owen says.

Carlos turns to look at Owen, his features broken and eyes filled with fragments of loss and aching. “He’s going to be okay, right? He has to be. He…has to be okay.”

“He’s strong, and he’s in the best of hands. He’s going to fight to come back to us, to come back to you, Carlos. The happiest I’ve ever seen my son was when he was with you, even in the beginning, when you were still figuring things out, there was something different about him, I could see it, I could feel it. He seemed lighter, brighter. His eyes lit up. I didn’t want to pry or push to know more, but when I saw you together, I knew. You were the missing piece he needed, you helped make him better, stronger. He’s going to come back to that.”

“It was the same with me. He saved me, in so many ways,” Carlos expresses.

“You saved each other,” Owen replies with a smile, giving Carlos’s knee a squeeze.

Carlos and Owen move to the waiting room on the surgical floor a little while later. Owen sits down on an identical plastic chair while Carlos paces around the room.

He stops when he looks out into the hallway and sees the rest of the team making their way towards them, all wearing the same concerned look on their faces.

“We got here as fast as we could,” Judd says as they step inside.

“Have you heard anything yet?” Marjan asks, her eyebrows drawn together.

Owen shakes his head. “He’s been in surgery for almost two hours.”

“He’s a strong kid, he’ll make it through,” Judd speaks with a steady voice.

“I should go call my mom, let her know what happened,” Carlos starts walking towards the door.

Paul pats Carlos’s shoulder as he passes him, and Carlos responds with an appreciative nod.

Carlos’s short trip to go outside is a haze, moving robotically until he’s stepping into the open air, the sun still high in the sky. It’s hot, Carlos closes his eyes and tilts his head up in the direction of the sun, letting its warmth seep into his skin. He takes a deep breath as he opens his eyes, pulls out his phone and he notices a few texts from Mitchell. He makes a mental note to reply later and moves to the phone icon, touching his mother’s contact from his favorites list.

One ring, two rings, three rings…

“Carlitos!”

“Mami…”

Andrea immediately picks up on his broken tone. “What’s wrong, mijo?”

“It’s…There was an accident…a car pile up downtown and…TK, he…he was in it,” Carlos’s voice cracks.

“Oh, Dios,” Andrea draws in a sharp breath. “How is he?” She asks and Carlos can hear rustling and movement in the background now.

“He…he lost a lot of blood, Ma. He was stuck in the car and his side was hurt…they took him straight to surgery and we haven’t heard anything yet,” Carlos sniffs.

“Where are you? I’m on my way,” Andrea says.

Carlos can hear the emotion in his mother’s voice and he knows she’s trying to keep her worry and fear for TK from breaking through the phone. She’s always been Carlos’s rock, strong and steady, and he can tell by her tone that she’s keeping it together for him. Still, though, he can hear the slight waver in her voice at the knowledge that her soon to be son-in-law is badly injured, currently undergoing surgery.

Since the moment TK was officially introduced to Carlos’s parents, they welcomed him into their family with wide, open arms. They had immediately liked him and adored him, Andrea happily whispering it into Carlos’s ear at the end of that very night. They saw the love between him and their son, and it had uplifted Andrea and Gabriel’s spirits and filled their own hears with so much love and glee.

And when Carlos had called them one night, voice filled with bliss and excitement, telling them that TK had proposed to him, Andrea and Gabriel wept tears of joy.

Knowing how much Andrea loves TK, telling her that he was hurt is one of the hardest things Carlos has ever had to do.

“We’re at West Park Memorial,” Carlos replies.

With a promise from Andrea to be there shortly, they end the call. He returns to the waiting room a few minutes later, everyone’s eyes landing on him. Carlos feels shrunk, his shoulders drawn in, his body feeling so heavy.

“She’s on her way,” he says before turning to stare into the direction of the operating rooms.

“No news yet,” it’s Judd who speaks next, reading Carlos’s mind.

Carlos nods and returns to his seat next to Owen.

Silence falls onto the room, everyone doing little things to keep themselves busy. Mateo praying, Marjan and Paul standing and pacing, Judd grabbing a couch pillow and holding it against his chest, Owen’s head is thrown back against the wall with his eyes closed and Carlos’s leg starts bouncing up and down while he fidgets with his hands. His fingers gravitate towards his ring, the one tangible piece of TK he has with him in this moment. Carlos always gravitates towards TK.

The team eventually get called away to a rescue with their promises too to return as soon as they can.

Carlos’s phone rings and a glance at his screen tells him it’s his mother.

“Ma,” Carlos answers.

“Hi, mijo. I’m walking in now, where are you?”

“We’re in the waiting room on the surgical floor,” Carlos tells her.

“Okay, I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”

Carlos spots Andrea hurrying through the hall, handbag clutched against her side soon after they hang up.

“Carlitos,” Andrea breaths as she steps into the room.

Carlos walks over to her and falls against her as she wraps him in a tight hug.

“It’s okay, mijo. Va a estar bien,” she whispers reassuringly, holding him in a steady grip. It’s going to be okay.

Carlos returns the embrace, burying his face in his mother’s neck, more tears spring to his eyes at being held by his mother and feeling her safety and comfort.

There’s a considerable height difference between Carlos and Andrea, but right now, Carlos may as well be a little boy and she a giant. Her protective hold on him is steady and grounding.

Once they pull back, Andrea cups Carlos’s face and wipes the fallen tears with the pads of her thumbs.

“Any news?”

Carlos shakes his head.

Andrea walks over to Owen, who gets up and they exchange a quick hug.

“He’s going to be fine,” Andrea says as she takes a seat next to her son.

Carlos nods, his eyes drifting back to his ring.

“There was a missing ingredient,” Andrea says after a while.

Carlos frowns as he turns to look at her.

“I was talking to him this morning, I sent him the family recipe for tamales,” she explains. “He wanted to surprise you but there was one missing thing.”

“Our dinner date tonight…that’s why he was out, he was going to the store,” Carlos connects the dots, eyes filling with tears.

Andrea nods.

“That was his surprise,” the realization dawns on Carlos. “He knows tamales are my favorite,” a small smile forms on his face.

Andrea places her palm on the nape of Carlos’s neck and pulls him gently towards her. He goes easily and rests his forehead against her shoulder. She whispers comforting words in Spanish as she runs her fingers over Carlos’s short hair just above his neck. He closes his eyes, evening out his breathing as he soaks up his mother’s comfort.

*****

Carlos is staring into nothingness almost an hour later, his eyes glued to to the hallway but unseeing. His mind on TK, all figures that pass through and walk the hallway blurred. Until one doctor is walking towards the waiting room, his form getting clearer and clearer as Carlos forces his vision to focus on him.

The doctor is visibly tired, his face crunched up, still wearing his surgical cap as he enters the room. Carlos can’t read him, and that worries him even more. He braces himself, swallowing as the doctor starts speaking.

“Family of Tyler Strand?”

“TK,” Owen corrects as he gets to his feet. “How’s my son?”

Carlos and Andrea follow suit, the tension building in the small space.

The doctor nods at Owen. “TK made it through,” he offers them a kind smile.

The collective breath Owen, Carlos and Andrea were holding is released as they breathe out a sigh of relief. Carlos closes his eyes, letting the doctor’s words sink in, sagging forward a little. He feels Andrea’s hand running up and down his back, grounding him and he leans into her warm touch.

“There were some complications, however,” the doctor continues. “We were mostly concerned about the amount of blood he lost, which caused his blood pressure to drop. His numbers were low during the surgery but we were able to keep him stable and with some blood transfusions, his blood pressure began to improve. The metal shard nicked his kidney but it didn’t cause major damage, we were also able to repair the laceration. Brain scans were all normal, indicating no brain injury. His chest is bruised and he has a minor lung contusion from the force of the seatbelt, but that will heal on its own. He’s young and healthy, I expect him to make a full recovery.”

“Can we see him?” Andrea asks, knowing it’s on Carlos’s mind and also knowing Carlos is still processing the doctor’s prognosis.

The doctor nods. “He’s currently in recovery and he can have visitors once he’s settled in a room after some observation. I’ll make sure a nurse comes to inform you when he’s ready.”

“Thank you so much, doctor,” Owen extends his hand.

The doctor nods once more, shaking Owen’s hand. “He’ll be home in no time.”

Carlos is rolling his ring on his finger and nervously bouncing his leg a while later when a young nurse approaches them.

“TK is ready for visitors,” she announces with a smile.

Owen turns to look at Carlos. “Go,” he urges.

“Are you sure?” Carlos asks.

Owen nods. “I’m sure, I’ll stop by to see him in a while.”

Owen pats Carlos’s shoulder as the officer gets to his feet and follows the nurse towards TK’s room.

“I’ll be back in an hour to check on him,” the nurse says as they come to a halt in front of a closed door. “The nurses’ station is down the hall if you need anything, or you can just press the call button near the bed.”

“Thank you,” Carlos says, taking a deep breath and pushing the door open.

He knew what to expect, he knew what his eyes would land on once he stepped into the room but still, seeing TK looking so small and still in the hospital bed shakes Carlos to his core.

An ache bolts up and down his body as he makes his way towards TK, his footsteps echoing off the walls, the only sound aside from the beeping of the heart monitor. He doesn’t take his eyes off his fiancé as he lowers himself on the chair situated next to the bed, watching as the paramedic’s chest rises and falls with each breath he takes.

Carlos is at least glad to see that TK has regained some color but it’s the stillness that also makes the officer uneasy. TK is always active, even when he’s asleep, twisting and turning in bed every now and then. Carlos would say he’s a light sleeper, he loved when TK started spending the night in the early days of their relationship. Though TK’s restlessness would sometimes wake Carlos from his slumber, he’d wrap an arm around TK’s middle and drift off to sleep again only for it to happen again a few hours later. Carlos never minded that, though, he’d be woken up by many things over the years, and being woken up by TK’s movement is by far his favorite.

Eventually, those movements from the younger man through the night had become a source of comfort for Carlos over the months, a reminder that TK is right next to him, in his bed. It grounded Carlos, and a sleepy smile would spread over his face as he gravitates towards those movements, warmth spreading through his body.

But here, right now, Carlos shivers, an icy sensation darting through his nerves. TK’s stillness is wrong, all wrong and so unlike TK is breaks Carlos’s heart all over again.

Carefully, Carlos reaches out, clasping TK’s hand in his own and prays that he can feel the familiar pressure.

“Hi, baby,” Carlos eventually speaks, his voice hoarser than he expected. “I’m here and you’re okay. They took really good care of you and you’ll be back on your feet in no time. I just…I miss you, Ty.”

The only response Carlos gets is the steady beeping of the heart monitor.

He sighs, running his thumb over TK’s knuckles. “I miss your voice, your smile, those beautiful green eyes of yours…your kiss. Come back to me, babe. This is only our beginning, we still have so much to do together. And I’ll be right here, right by your side, always. I’m not going anywhere,” Carlos vows.

Some time later, Carlos is so focused on TK and watching him, he doesn’t hear the knock on the door or it being pushed open until he senses another presence in the room.

He turns to see Owen stepping in, and stops by the foot of the bed.

“He looks better,” the Captain says, his eyes glued to his son.

Carlos nods, and continues running his fingers through TK’s hair.

“Your mom is heading to your place to pack a bag for you and TK,” Owen adds after a few moments. “She said to tell you to call or text her if there’s anything in specific you’d like her to get. And she’s also getting you some food.”

Carlos nods again. “I don’t think I’ll be able to eat, though.”

Owen’s eyes soften. “I know, but you have to keep your strength up. He’s going to need you when he wakes up. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of him.”

Carlos knows Owen is right, so he doesn’t argue. “Thank you,” he tells Owen.

“Thank you,” Owen reciprocates. “You saved his life.”

“Part of me hopes I could have done more, I felt so helpless just…I wish I could have done more,” Carlos drops his head.

“Hey, Carlos,” Owen walks over so he’s behind the officer. He places a hand on Carlos’s shoulder and gives him a supportive squeeze. “You did everything you could, I know you did. I’ve seen so many accidents to know that in that pile up today, TK’s chances were…” he trails off, shaking his head. “His chances weren’t good. If it wasn’t for you, TK wouldn’t be here right now.”

The mere thought of that brings tears to Carlos’s eyes. “A guy flagged me down and…I followed him and then I realized it was TK and…my whole world stopped.”

Owen nods. “I hate that you had to go through that but…part of me is glad it was you who got to him. Because I know you would have done, and did do, everything you can to keep him alive. You climbed into the wrecked car, and that says everything.”

Carlos moves his hand to cup TK’s face, lightly tracing his cheekbone with the tip of his thumb. “I would do anything to make sure he’s okay.”

A moment of silence washes over them as Owen dips his hand into his pocket and pulls it out, fist closed before opening his palm in front of Carlos.

“Here,” Owen says.

Carlos looks down into Owen’s open hand and a tear rolls down his cheek when he sees TK’s ring there.

“The nurse gave me his stuff after she lead you here. I thought you should hold on to it for him,” Owen explains.

Carlos sniffs, reaches out and takes the ring. He secures it in a fist and brings his hand over his heart, holding it there before leaning forward and brushing a kiss to TK’s temple.

*****

Owen stays until Andrea is knocking on the door, walking into a room carrying a duffel bag and a brown paper bag. The delicious smell immediately hits Carlos and his stomach rumbles. His mother must have heard it because she gives him a knowing smile.

Owen excuses himself a few minutes later, making Carlos promise to call if anything changes. With one final glance at his son, Owen leaves.

Carlos settles on the small table in the corner of the room as he unwraps the food his mom brought him. Andrea stands near the bed and plants a tender kiss to TK’s forehead then sits in the chair previously occupied by Carlos.

Carlos watches the sweet exchange and feels his heart flutter in his chest at the sight. It’s such a simple gesture but it speaks volumes of the way Andrea had come to love TK and happily welcome him into the family. Carlos had witnessed TK and Andrea growing closer and closer over the course of their relationship and it had made him happier than words could express. He’d smile, his heart soaring as he watched them in conversation or watched TK help Andrea in the kitchen, talking about anything and everything, while preparing dinner together at the Reyes ranch.

There’s pain and sadness in his heart at seeing Andrea sit next to TK’s hospital bed. And even more when he hears his mother’s broken whisper of oh, amor, as her eyes roam over TK’s battered face and he can tell she’s imagining the layers of bandages hidden underneath his gown.

Carlos can tell she’s struggling, trying to remain strong for both him and TK. Because not only is Andrea’s Carlos’s rock and support, but she is also TK’s.

“It’s okay, Ma,” Carlos reassures her. There’s so many layers to those three words, and she catches on to each and every one.

She gives him a small, sad smile, her eyes swimming with unshed tears.

“Your dad sends his love, and he said he’ll be by to visit TK soon, once he’s awake and strong,” Andrea says a little while later, after Carlos had finished eating, freshened up, changed into sweats and a hoodie, and returned to TK’s side.

She was about to get up to vacate his seat then, but Carlos shook his head and gestured for her to remain seated there. He dropped into the chair on the other side of the bed, the one Owen had grabbed from near the wall and had been sitting in.

Visiting hours were coming to an end and Andrea was getting ready to leave. With a gentle pat to TK’s cheek, she gets to her feet and clutches her handbag, Carlos following her.

“Carlitos,” she starts but Carlos is quickly shaking his head, knowing what she’s going to say.

“I can’t leave him,” he answers.

Andrea sighs. “It’s going to be busy in here tonight, they’ll be checking on TK every couple of hours and you need to rest, too.”

“I know, but I won’t be able to sleep if I do go home either. I’ll stay wide awake, worrying and wondering and going back home now, going back to our bed, without him or without knowing he’s really okay…I can’t. At least staying, I can grab an hour here and there when they aren’t checking on him.”

Andrea nods after a moment. She knew deep down that Carlos would stay, hence the bag she had packed. She’s cupping Carlos’s face, caressing his cheek before pulling him into a hug.

He goes easily, wrapping his arms around his mother and returning the hug. Her strong hold on him gives him strength himself, almost transferring some of hers to him and he soaks it all up.

“He’s going to be just fine,” Andrea whispers, kissing Carlos’s cheek as they separate.

Carlos nods.

“I love you, mijo,” Andrea expresses. “I love you both.”

“We love you, too, Ma.”

After a similar promise to Andrea like the one made to Owen, she leaves, grabbing the bag sitting next to the door containing Carlos’s bloodstained uniform on her way out.

Carlos returns to his original place next to the bed, his hand going back to TK’s.

“It’s just you and me now, babe.”

*****

It starts with one slow movement. It’s so slow Carlos would have probably missed it if he weren’t watching TK as closely as he is.

The sun has climbed high in the sky, the hours ticked by from the time Carlos had given up on sleep around dawn. It was a night filled with fitful and restless sleep, as he had expected and between the nurse checking on TK and Carlos’s own worry, the officer managed to get three hours of shuteye.

He couldn’t sleep past the moment light cracked through the darkness of the sky above, so he got up, running a hand through his loose curls and stretched his aching muscles. The sun slowly got higher and stronger, painting the sky in streaks of orange, yellow and red, the colors morphing together in a magical way. He watched the process through the thin curtain, getting lost in it for a few moments before directing his attention back to TK.

TK who still hadn’t woken up. Who hasn’t even stirred.

Carlos was awake during the nurse’s more recent visit and she had assured him that it was perfectly normal, that TK’s body still needed some rest and that TK is doing well. He thanked her, giving her a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes followed by a nod when she mentioned there’s a coffee station just down the hall.

He feels TK’s ring sitting in his pocket, and he longs for the moment when he’ll able to slip it back on his finger, where it belongs.

He kept a positive attitude, repeating the nurse’s comforting words in his mind over and over, clinging to them as more minutes passed by with no indication from his fiancé of waking up.

“Come back to me, baby,” Carlos had whispered, giving TK’s hand a light squeeze.

He eventually left the room for a quick trip to the mentioned coffee station, and was back by TK’s side in a matter of minutes.

He kept himself occupied replying to texts he had received—from Mitchell, some of his other colleagues at the precinct, and most recently the 126 group chat, while keeping an eye on TK, as well.

The texts were all replied to and the coffee had long been consumed when the slow movement from the bed catches Carlos’s attention.

A small nudge of TK’s head to side, his eyes still closed. For a second, Carlos thinks his mind is playing a trick on him. But then it happens again, in the other direction and that has Carlos moving forward, heart picking up speed in his chest.

“TK?” Carlos calls. “TK, can you hear me?”

His heart is on its way to sinking from the lack of response from the paramedic, but instead flutters because TK is slowly opening his eyes and finding Carlos through the haze.

Carlos’s face breaks into a smile that does reach his eyes this time, said eyes also filling with tears at the sight of the green irises he has so terribly missed.

“Hi, baby, hi,” Carlos continues, his voice soft.

“‘Los,” TK breaths, his voice scratchy and low but it’s his voice and Carlos can almost weep at his nickname that only TK uses.

“I’m here, I’m here. You’re okay,” Carlos reassures him. “Everything is going to be just fine.”

Carlos’s hand moves to cup TK’s face, caressing his cheek and his heart sings when TK summons all the energy he can and leans into Carlos’s touch.

“Get some more rest, babe, I’m not going anywhere,” Carlos says when he notices TK drifting back to sleep.

Watching TK’s chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm now, TK’s ring in Carlos’s pocket feels lighter.

*****

The sun is getting lower when TK wakes up again. Andrea had passed by and joined Carlos for lunch a couple of hours before, Carlos feeling better and able to eat properly.

He was sitting in his usual spot on the chair next to the bed, mindlessly going through his phone and switching between apps when the same nudge of TK’s head pulls his attention, albeit it’s a little more frantic than the previous ones.

“Hey, hey, baby,” Carlos gets closer to TK, eyes on his face.

TK’s eyes are faster in opening this time, landing on Carlos and then looking around the room.

“Carlos?”

“Right here, I’m right here.”

“What…” TK’s eyebrows draw together, confusion written all over his face.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Carlos takes hold of TK’s hand. “You were in an accident, you were hurt pretty bad but they took care of you and everything’s okay. Do you remember?”

TK nods after a second and swallows against his dry throat.

“Do you want some water?”

TK nods again.

Carlos grabs the plastic cup from the nightstand and guides the straw through TK’s parched lips. “Easy, slow sips.”

“How—how bad is it?” TK asks once he’s done drinking.

Carlos sighs as he returns the cup. “We don’t have to talk about that now.”

“Please…I…I need to know,” TK says with a low tone.

After a moment, Carlos nods. “You were stuck in the backseat, you had some cuts and scraps, a concussion, bruise from the seatbelt and…there was a piece of metal lodged in your side. You lost a lot of blood, and I tried to keep pressure as much as I could but I didn’t want to hurt you more and…” he sucks in a shaky breath.

TK uses his energy to squeeze Carlos’s hand, knowing where the officer’s mind is going, taking him back to the horrific accident scene. TK squeezes Carlos’s hand to ground him and bring him back to the present.

“Never in a million years had I expected to see you in that crash…I was actually thinking the opposite, that I won’t see you because it’s your day off. But then the universe flipped the table on me and there you were…” Carlos trails off and then shakes his head. “I’m sorry, you just woke up, this…this isn’t what you should be hearing.”

It’s TK’s turn to gently shake his head. “Hey, there’s nothing to apologize for. Whatever you need to let out, and everything you’re feeling and thinking…I’m here to listen, no matter what.”

“I don’t want to overwhelm you,” Carlos lowers his gaze.

“Look at me, baby, look at me. You can never overwhelm me…I know how tough this has been, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

Carlos tightens his hold on TK’s hand. “I was…so scared. I felt so helpless and it felt like you were being ripped away from me. And for a moment you were, when they wheeled you away and it broke me, in that moment, I shattered,” the tears get heavier in his eyes and with a blink, a tear falls and streaks down his cheek.

TK’s own eyes well up at seeing the pain and heartbreak drawn on Carlos’s face and coating his voice, wanting nothing more than to take it all away.

“I remember coming to after I blacked out from the initial crash and it was…terrifying. My mind hadn’t completely caught up with what happened and once it did, I was really scared,” TK sniffs. “I felt so alone. But you know what? When I saw you, well, at first I thought I was dreaming but then you reached out to me and touched me and it felt real, you felt real and warm and you were right there…I knew in my heart you were there and I wasn’t scared anymore. I didn’t feel alone anymore. I knew you would save me, like you did so many times before.”

More tears roll down Carlos’s cheeks at TK’s words.

“And you did. You saved me, ‘Los.”

Carlos lunges forward, taking TK’s face gently in his hands and plants a kiss on TK’s forehead.

“You saved me just as much,” Carlos whispers, looking into TK’s eyes where brown meets green, and there’s so much said without needing words, so much love communicated and felt. Carlos leans in, first touching their foreheads together and then brushing a tentative kiss to TK’s lips. And Carlos feels whole again.

“Also,” Carlos starts once he pulls back. “We’re definitely making those tamales once we’re back home.”

“You know?”

Carlos nods. “Ma told me. Missing one ingredient.”

“Yeah…I wanted to surprise you. You’ve been working so hard lately and I wanted to do something for you,” TK expresses.

“That means everything, TK. I just hate that you got hurt, I know neither of us could control what happened but still…I hate that it happened.”

TK nods. “But I’m here and I’m okay.”

“You are,” Carlos drops a kiss to TK’s cheek this time. “And one more thing,” he adds, a hand digging into his pocket.

He opens his palm in front of TK to reveal his ring and TK looks up at him, eyes glistening.

“I believe this belongs to you,” Carlos holds out his free hand to TK.

TK carefully lifts his hand and gives it to Carlos.

He watches as Carlos slides the ring on his finger, the familiar weight of it a comfort. He closes his eyes when Carlos brushes a kiss to the ring now sitting where it belongs, relishing in the touch.

“I love you, Ty, now and forever.”

Carlos's eyes are so soft and filled with love and adoration, it makes TK's heart swell with just as much love. He smiles, knowing he's found a home in Carlos. And he knows with his whole being that Carlos has found one in him, too.

“I love you too, ‘Los, always.”

And when TK gives Carlos the smile that’s reserved for only him, Carlos knows in his heart that they’re going to be just fine.

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hearteyesemergency · 5 years ago

Text

TK Accidentally Takes Carlos Home While His Dad’s There

Request: TK forgets he’s living with his Dad, and takes Carlos home and they get caught?

A/N: This has been on my mind recently. Semi-established Tarlos for this fic. It got a lot longer than I expected, but I really wanted to show some of smitten/pining TK that we haven’t seen much of yet in this canon slow burn. And I really wanted to keep this canon Carlos who gives TK the space to breathe and heal.

Summary: Considering how close TK is to his Dad, it‘s astounding to anyone that he forgot they lived together. After a pretty successful dancing date, TK takes Carlos home with him, and scar’s Owen with the sight of them all over each other once barely inside the door. TK could die of embarrassment, and Carlos just really wants Owen to like him.

Warnings: Course language, Mild sexual themes.

TK stumbled backward into his home, not worried about the key that slipped from his fingertips and landed somewhere on the floor beneath their feet. All he cared about was Carlos’ lips on his, and how somehow they made him feel so incredibly wanted.

They weren’t even together, not officially anyway, they hadn’t had that chat yet, but Tyler didn’t know any word other than ‘loved’ to describe the way Carlos made him feel. TK had rarely felt worthy of anything as powerful as that, and yet here Carlos was, making him feel like he was drowning in it.

It grew this need in Tyler to have Carlos closer. Like, impossibly close, limbs tangled, body to body, even a thin shirt between them was too much. All TK wanted was to get the clothes gone, he just needed to feel Carlos.

He had gotten far too invested lately in the fleeting power trip that came with lost buttons on Carlos’ shirt when he tore it off the man. So far, Carlos had lost four button-ups and counting. TK had only managed the top half of this shirt when someone cleared their throat in the next room.

TK sprung back with a gasp. In the kitchen stood Owen, glass of milk in hand. He looked tired, wrapped in a sweater over his pyjamas and socks on his feet. Another half hour, and he’d probably have been in bed. Just Tyler’s luck that his Dad finds him with kiss swollen lips, trying to rip the shirt off a man who may as well have been their colleague.

“Hi boy’s,”

“Dad,”

“Uh, hi, Mr Strand,”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you can call me Owen,”

“To be honest, Sir, right now, I don’t think that I can,”

Owen shrugged understandingly.

TK couldn’t look at either of them, a blush settled on his cheeks. How the fuck he forgot that he lived with his father, he wasn’t sure.

“So, fun night?” Owen guessed,

“Uh, yeah... I mean, we just went dancing at the bar- TK only drank water,”

“I know,” Owen nodded, “I trust him, and you’re a good influence,”

Carlos sighed in relief through a smile, “thank you, Sir.”

Owen grinned back.

“Well, this has been sufficiently awkward,” TK finally piped up, “good night.”

TK took Carlos by the hand and lead him to the stairs. Now was not the time for his Dad and the guy he was seeing to bond. They were halfway up when he heard his Dad at the bottom.

“TK!”

He sighed, “Yeah, Dad,”

“Door open,”

He whirled around, “You’re joking, right?”

“No, I’m not joking. I’m literally in the bedroom next door. Door open.”

TK pulled a face.

As if your Dad interrupting a hot make out session with the guy you’re seeing wasn’t a turn off enough, him being in the next bedroom, in a house that had possibly the thinnest walls in Texas- THAT was an even bigger turn off.

TK couldn’t lock himself and Carlos behind his bedroom door fast enough after that. He took a moment to rest his head against the wood, composing himself as he left Carlos to make himself comfortable in the room.

At this point, he didn’t care if Carlos looked around, what he’d see was now officially the least embarrassing thing TK could face that night.

He had no reason to be concerned though, the police officer cared more about gently pulling Tyler out of his dramatics, and away from the door. He sat TK down on the bed before he flicked the lock back, and opened up the room once again.

“But-“

“I want your Dad to like me, TK. I don’t want him thinking I’m encouraging you to disobey his rules in his house,”

“Okay, first of all, he loves you. Second of all, I’m a grown man-“

“Who still lives with his Dad, which means we respect his rules. And your Dad loves me as a cop, he doesn’t know me as his sons boyfriend, or whatever this is,”

“...we could call it a boyfriend thing,” TK shrugged, though didn’t meet Carlos’ eyes,

“Yeah?”

TK nodded.

Though he still didn’t look, he felt Carlos come crouch down in front of him, taking the firefighters face in his hands. Reluctantly, TK turned to make eye contact with the man, and found a soft smile waiting just for him. Carlos caressed his cheek for a moment, before he kissed him.

Not like earlier, no, this kiss was soft and sweet, there was no lust in it at all. TK may have literally whimpered into it. Carlos had a way of making TK seem like he was breakable, not in a bad way, in a good way. Like he was precious, and invaluable. Like it would be the worst thing in the world if something were to hurt him.

TK let himself collapse forward against Carlos, foreheads together as he took in the man’s scent. It calmed him, not that he had been nervous or anything, he was just generally a little chaotic, and Carlos had a good affect on him in that respect. He was once again coming to love the super intimate moments in a relationship. The staring, the feeling, the silence, and it was all thanks to the man right in front of him.

“You really think your Dad’s cool if I stay the night?”

“Are you joking?” TK pulled back and looked at his boyfriend, “you’re going to wake up to a cooked three course breakfast,”

Carlos chuckled, “you sound sure,”

“I am sure, I can see it in his eyes- he really likes you,”

“I hope so,” Carlos caressed TK’s cheek,

“I know so... Now get up here and give me cuddles since you’re playing by my fathers boring game of innocence.”

Carlos rolled his eyes, though complied anyway. He borrowed a pair of sweats from TK’s dresser as they both changed out of their date attire, though didn’t bother with a shirt, he didn’t want to stretch anything out. TK watched as the man crawled into his bed for the very first time, and was certain that he could absolutely get used to this.

When Carlos was comfortable, TK sat up and faced him, so that he could look at him and admire the man that had taken things so slow with him to get to this point. He couldn’t help but run a hand through Carlos’ hair, it was usually the other man who was so gentle and understanding with him, somehow able to draw out TK’s most vulnerable side, and help him accept and grow with all his past traumas and flaws.

Carlos grinned up at him, and it was nice there like that. They fell into a soft conversation, talking about nothing and absolutely everything. TK sat against the policeman’s hip, enjoying the warmth that radiated from the bare skin. Their hands tangled or explored the others soft skin, never still. It was very possibly the most intimate situation TK had ever been in. Intimacy far beyond sex, something he was not in the slightest experienced with.

Carlos was certainly his most grown up relationship, and he put every other boyfriend TK had ever had to complete shame. TK understood why his Dad liked Carlos, everyone liked Carlos, but his Dad especially, because he didn’t have to worry as much with Carlos around. He had a strong head on his shoulders, and he wasn’t afraid to pull TK in line when he needed it, but was equally as understanding and there through the hard times as well.

“Good night.”

TK looked back over his shoulder to his father at the door, and smiled, “good night, Dad,”

“How do you like your eggs in the morning, Carlos?”

TK chuckled, and gave his boyfriend one of those ‘I told you so’ looks.

“I’ll cook,” Carlos countered, “my Mum used to make our breakfast every day... you have to try it,”

“I won’t say no to that,” the Cap agreed, “good night, boys.”

Owen switched the light off as he left, and TK couldn’t help but relish in how fucking domestic this was. It was like when you live in a different city, and you and the husband go home to visit the father who calls every other day because he misses you, and would do anything to have you home.

In the darkness, TK laid back down beside Carlos, leg thrown over the other man’s hip, arm around his waist as he nuzzled his face in Carlos’ shoulder.

“Is it weird that I don’t find any of this awkward?” Carlos wondered,

“My Dad has that affect on people.”

TK didn’t elaborate on the fact that he knew his father had never been this relaxed and instantly accepting with any other guy TK had dated. It was too much too soon to say out loud. For now, both Carlos and his Dad knew where his feelings stood, and that was enough.

Carlos made him feel light, and safe, and fuck he hoped this time it worked out.

If Carlos was bothered by how much TK would toss and turn during the night, he didn’t let it on. TK figured he knew the struggles with shift work body clock himself. Despite his inability to stay asleep, TK felt like the hours that he did get in had been the best he’d had in years. He also enjoyed the times when he was awake, when he could stare at how peaceful and perfect Carlos was.

TK couldn’t think of a single thing he had done to deserve the man beside him, but he knew damn well he wouldn’t give up their rollercoaster ride for anything. He’d rather spend one hard day with Carlos than infinite ‘easy’ days with anyone else.

It was around 4am when TK had last laid awake, staring at the back of Carlos, fingers gently trailing absentmindedly up and down the officers back.

“You think awfully loudly,” Carlos whispered, though it was enough to startle TK,

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” TK reclaimed his hands,

“Wanna tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Carlos rolled onto his back and looked across to TK,

“I was just thinking about how happy I am... and I really mean that.”

It was too dark either of them to really see each other, but they stared anyway. A moment later, Carlos grabbed a hold of TK, and drew him into his chest before rolling back to the other side. Now TK was practically cocooned in Carlos’ arms, snuggled in his chest and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Be cute in the morning, I’m trying to sleep,” Carlos’ voice was light,

“You and I both know I’m not this good with feelings in the light of day...“

“You don’t give yourself enough credit... you’ve come so far since I met you. I’m so proud of you.”

To TK, those words meant more than ‘I love you.’ Anyone can love another person, but to make someone proud, especially with the parts of yourself you hate the most... that was something else.

TK closed his eyes and sighed contently, “you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me... thank you. For everything,”

“Ride or die.”

TK couldn’t help but laugh at that, and he didn’t care how loud he was. He wondered who the fuck taught Carlos that, because Lord knew that he didn’t figure out that was a ‘thing’ on his own.

With one last kiss to Carlos’ neck, TK willed himself to go back to sleep, a much easier task when he could count to the beats of Carlos’ heart.

It was morning when he woke up, after eight, and he knew that his Dad would be out on his morning run. His back was to Carlos now, the man’s arm only loosely around TK’s waist. He could tell from the awkward placement that Carlos was still asleep, and if he wasn’t afraid to wake him by moving- probably far too late- he would’ve wrapped the police officer up in his own arms and returned the favour.

A small glimmer caught TK’s eye on the night stand, and he looked over to find three blue buttons sat neatly in a row. TK couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. Sometimes, he was sure he and his father were too close, way too close, though he still wouldn’t change it for the world, and he was so glad that his Dad liked Carlos, because TK was fairly certain one day they’d walk down to isle to Carlos waiting at the end. At least he hoped so.

#Carlos Reyes #Tyler Kennedy Strand #TK Strand #Tyler Strand #911 lone star #lone star #Carlos x TK #TK x Carlos #tarlos #tarlos prompt #tarlos fic #911 lone star fic

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beka1820 · 5 years ago

Text

I Hear The Secrets You Keep

Five Times TK confesses a secret to Carlos when half asleep, and the One Time he's wide awake.

A little while ago, @bellakitse told me she needed more Tarlos and actually believed in me to write for them. And well, several weeks later I have tried to deliver for her. So this is really all her fault. A huge thank you to all of my Junkyard friends for continuing to encourage me and listen to me whine as this took on a life of it's own.

This fic can be canon compliant up until episode 8, because yes I was working on this for that long.

Read on AO3

“You wear really tight pants.”

Carlos was positive TK was asleep moments before this so he jolts a little when he speaks. They’re curled up on Carlos’ couch, having spent the evening watching movies and eating takeout. This type of evening is becoming pretty common for them when their days off line up. Carlos has no idea what they are, or what they’re doing, all he knows is that he enjoys every second that he gets to spend with TK. And now that TK is willing to spend more quality time together with their clothes on, he tries to take advantage of it as much as possible. Carlos can’t deny that he appreciates that it’s also amounted to more quality time with their clothes off as well.

“What did you just say?”

“Your jeans, they’re really tight. Your shirts are too.”

Now that Carlos is paying attention he can tell that TK is mumbling the words. He pulls away a little to look and sees that TK’s eyes are half-closed so maybe he is as close to being asleep as he thought.

TK just moves his head back to bury it further into Carlos’ shoulder. He also puts a hand over his chest and absentmindedly starts playing with one of his accused shirts, which Carlos will admit is maybe a little tight.

“I see. I didn’t realize you had such a problem with my clothes. Is that why you keep ripping all of them?” Carlos can only grin and try to stay focused on the present, even when his own words bring up several distracting memories.

TK snorts at his comment.

“Oh I love that you wear such tight clothes, I love seeing you showing off all your amazing assets.” He can tell that TK wants to grab his ass right now but since they’re sitting he settles for patting his hip and wedging his fingers in between his ass and the couch. He sighs contentedly so this must be a good enough compromise for him for now. “I just don’t know if I love everyone else getting to see your incredible ass on such fine display.”

Carlos can’t help but preen a little at TK’s confession. He knows he’s a decent looking guy and that he gets looks when he’s out, but all he ever notices when they are together is how everyone is checking out TK. And he doesn’t blame them, the man is gorgeous and also a complete hypocrite right now for talking about Carlos being the one who wears tight pants.

He can’t help but be a little hopeful, that maybe he’s not the only one who wants to put up a sign saying “Taken, Get Lost” whenever anyone looks for too long.

“You think I have an incredible ass?”

“With or without clothes it’s probably the best ass I’ve ever seen in my life. I can’t even begin to explain to you what you're missing out on by not getting to look at it like I get to.”

Carlos can’t help the blush that crosses his face and figures maybe it’s time to try and change the subject but the slight pause seems to have spurred TK on.

“I mean, you know I'm a faster runner than you right?”

They’ve started jogging together on the occasion when they are both off work, TK admitted that being active helps clear his mind and Carlos is always looking for ways to help and spend time with him. Plus getting to see TK sweaty and panting is becoming one of Carlos’ favorite pastimes.

But TK falls a little behind several times on their runs and Carlos tries to gently remind him as much.

“Yeah no. When I’m not with you I run that route about 5 minutes faster.”

Carlos scoffs in disbelief because this is definitely news to him.

“I’m not even sorry, and you wouldn’t be either if you got to see what I get to see when I fall behind.”

Carlos can’t help the full-body laugh that bursts out of him and TK makes an annoyed noise at being disrupted by his comfortable position. He burrows in a little further and within minutes Carlos is positive this time he’s fast asleep.

Carlos can’t even be bothered because he’s left with this amazing new bit of knowledge about TK. He’s suspected before that TK is a little more open when he’s tired and his guard is down by some of the comments he’s made or how he seems a little extra affectionate. This conversation all but confirmed it for him.

He loves it and stores it away in the compartment in his mind where he keeps everything he can learn about TK. Carlos finds that he falls for him harder with every new piece of information, but that is something he accepted would be the case almost from the moment he asked TK to line dance with him in a bar.

He hopes there’s genuineness in these moments. He thinks there could be and imagines they could help him as he navigates whatever this thing is between them.

As he starts to drift off himself he smiles when he realizes that TK still has his hand touching his ass like he’s claiming it, so maybe there is some truth to his half-asleep confessions after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It happens again a couple of hours after their first fight. Carlos had barely considered it a fight as it was happening, just something they would move past once they got a few small frustrations out of their system. But the way that TK had become more and more restless as it continued made Carlos sit up and take notice.

They’re lying in bed facing each other, they had talked it out and Carlos is confident they’re better than ever. He’s more worried about TK’s reaction to the fight.

He’s gotten really good at reading TK the more time they have spent together. He recognizes when he starts to go inside his head and when Carlos should try and intervene and pull him back out or step back and let him work through it himself.

He’s at a bit of a loss this time though, TK’s reaction didn’t seem to match with the conversation and the small disagreement they were having.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He knows this may not be fair, TK looks incredibly tired and Carlos doesn’t want to disrupt his peace now that he seems to finally have it, but he’s also worried that if they don’t talk about it now, it might be too late and he wants to understand.

“I thought we did talk,” TK smiles sleepily at him and Carlos tries not to get too distracted by one of his favorite smiles lighting up his face.

“I don’t mean about the disagreement, we’re good there,” he says and gives TK a soft kiss to make sure he’s getting his point across. “I’m talking about your reaction to it.”

TK doesn’t say anything for a minute and Carlos debates whether he should push the subject or back off for the time being.

“The last fight Alex and I had was about how I never loaded the dishwasher correctly,” he starts with a resigned sigh. “I know that wasn’t what broke us, we were broken long before. But I think back on that fight and how small it might have been but how clear it was I couldn’t do anything right by his standards.” He admits with his eyes closed and his head ducked down a little.

Carlos thinks he’s starting to understand, their fight was about something small and inconsequential as well, so it can’t have felt good to remember a similar one he had with his ex.

“I’m sorry this was a painful reminder for you Ty, I—“

“I’m constantly terrified of the day you’re going to realize I’m not worth it.”

Carlos thinks a punch to the face would have hurt less than to hear those words.

TK resignedly continues, “You might be the most amazing man I have ever met. And I know I’m doing better, and I'm healing, but you have always deserved better than me. I’ve just been waiting for you to catch up to that fact.”

Thankfully TK’s eyes are still closed so it gives Carlos a second to reign in his emotions before he says anything.

“Sweetheart.” He’s thankful for his training that’s helped him keep a calm and steady voice despite the fact that he’s breaking inside for the man laying in front of him. When TK doesn’t respond he reaches out to touch his face only to realize that the man is asleep. That heartbreaking statement was his last thought of the day.

Carlos fights back tears as he quietly gets out of bed and heads to his back porch to get some fresh air. When TK doesn’t have to be on alert he sleeps like the dead so Carlos knows he has some time to be alone without him waking up.

Usually if TK’s ex is mentioned in any way Carlos does what he can to put him out of his mind. The worthless piece of shit that he is, who tried to break TK little by little over the course of their relationship, Carlos learned. He does his best not to let himself think too much about the coward, he has more important and worthy people to occupy his thoughts. But tonight he doesn’t even try to deflect.

Carlos isn’t jealous of the man, he’s sick of him. He wants the ghost of him out of their relationship. No, what he really wants is the man and every single memory gone from TK’s mind and heart. He has come so far, Carlos is so proud of him. But his heart breaks a little every time he sees TK, this strong beautiful man, struggling with his self worth because of what that fool of a man did to him.

He knows he can't’ push too hard. He and TK have made great strides in their relationship, they’re officially together and telling people as such.

He knows he just has to be patient. He’s in this for the long haul and he’s willing for it to take however long it’s going to for TK to understand he’s amazing, every messy and beautiful part. And that he’s everything and more that Carlos could ever have hoped to want.

He takes another couple of deep breaths and shakes off the dark thoughts as much as he can. He’d rather focus on what matters, on TK. And making sure that if he wakes up, Carlos is right beside him.

When he gets back in bed, he pulls TK close to him and kisses his forehead while vowing he’ll do whatever he has to do to show him that he is worthy of every good thing he could ever want.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They’re laying in TK’s bed spooning late at the end of the day. It’s TK’s birthday and Carlos and Owen threw him a surprise party with pretty much every first responder they’ve ever worked with. It still managed to be a casual bbq dinner, Judd brought over games like horseshoe and cornhole while the “New York pretty boys” as Judd called them watched with side-eyes and skepticism.

At the end of the night Carlos had planned to leave but TK had pulled him close and asked him to stay while his arms were wrapped around his shoulders and their lips pressed together. They both know that Carlos is unable to say no to him because TK had merely smirked and led him upstairs to his room.

“Did you have a good time today sweetheart?” Carlos asks, kissing him on the shoulder and burying his face in TK’s freshly washed hair and taking a deep breath.

“Yeah I did, thank you babe. It was a lot of fun and probably the most relaxing birthday I’ve ever had.”

“Oh yeah? What did you do in New York for your birthday?”

TK hums a little and Carlos can only smile as he feels TK holding on to his last grip on awareness. He takes a deep breath and launches into all the traditions and events and places he was often taken to for his day, by his friends and his dad. It ends up sounding like it would take more of a week to fit everything in and TK confirms as much with a slightly wistful sound to his voice.

“All of that sounds amazing sweetheart. It’s good you had so many traditions to celebrate.” He suddenly feels woefully lacking and he can’t shake the feeling. He thinks of the casual gathering they just had and realizes how small it must have been compared to one of the fancy restaurants or clubs he used to go to in New York. He knows TK had a good time, but that doesn’t mean he made him feel as special on his day as he deserves. Or that Austin is where he really would have celebrated if he had the choice. “I’m sorry you missed out on all of that this year.”

It seems Carlos didn’t do a good job of reigning in the insecurity in his voice because the next thing he knows a sleepy and confused TK is looking back at him. The expression on his face must be just as bad because TK rolls around till he is facing him.

“Talk to me babe.”

Carlos wants to roll his eyes, that’s his words and the tone he uses when he sees TK going into himself and he wants to lovingly draw him back out. They decided they would do their absolute best to talk and be open about how they were feeling, as hard as it is. Carlos is currently regretting ever making this agreement.

“It just sounds like you always had so many amazing things to do and people to be with back there. Austin falls majorly short when you compare.” He pauses before adding, “So does the party today,” he mumbles knowing TK will hear him but wishing he wouldn’t. It’s not a trait he feels often, but right now he can’t help the insecurity and slight embarrassment that are rearing their ugly heads. He closes his eyes in hopes to reign it back, this isn’t the way he wants to end TK’s birthday.

“My amazing boyfriend threw me an amazing party in the place where I’m happy with my life with all of my favorite people so I’d kindly ask you to not insult him or anything else that way.” TK’s eyes are soft when Carlos looks at him, but his tone is determined.

Carlos has to look at TK for a minute to make sure he heard him right. He knows TK is flourishing here in every way, that he’s enjoying his time with Carlos, and has made his crew into his family. But this is the first time he’s said anything like that in reference to Texas.

“You’re right though, I have been comparing. My old life and new life.”

Carlos can only nod and wait. He knows the party and Austin can’t compete with what TK used to have. He tries and fails not to think about the fact that he may never be able to compete with it either.

“I actually have been thinking about it a lot lately,” TK says steadfastly. “And I think the life I have now is becoming everything I have always wanted.”

Carlos tries to swallow around the lump in his throat, and barely manages to rasp out, “Do you mean that?”

TK takes a second to let out a sigh. “Look I know I didn’t get off to the best start here. I thought I was going to go stir crazy when we first arrived. I cared about my new crew from the start, but everything had changed so quickly. I didn’t really have time to catch my breath and you saw how much of a mess I was at the beginning.”

It’s such a testament to how far TK has come that he can say things like that so easily and without being detrimental to himself. Carlos can’t help but smile and reach out to cup TK’s cheek. TK pauses for a second to turn his head slightly and kiss his palm before continuing.

“But now that I have distance, I can see my life in New York wasn’t what I made it out to be in my mind. I never felt at peace there, I just didn’t realize it at the time. And now that I’m here, with the 126 who are truly my family. And with you... I think I’m finally understanding what true happiness is for me.”

Carlos has to blink rapidly to try to keep away the tears that are threatening to fall. But he sees that TK’s eyes are just as shiny and is thankful he isn’t the only one feeling overwhelmed right now.

When TK senses that Carlos is too emotional to say anything, he grins at him.

“Was that too cheesy?” He jokes even though it’s clear he meant every word.

“Absolutely.” Carlos finally manages to say, “but you shouldn’t let that stop you.”

TK only laughs and leans forward to kiss Carlos on the nose, and Carlos just closes his eyes and revels in the moment.

TK decides to finish him off. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt more at peace than when you’re by my side.”

Carlos gives up completely and lets a couple of tears fall as he pulls TK even closer. “You know I feel the same right? You know I’m not going anywhere?”

TK manages a wobbly smile of his own. “I think I’m starting to get that.”

Carlos briefly thinks back to months before when TK was convinced he didn’t deserve Carlos or anything good in his life. To see him finally realizing that he does might be one of the best moments of his life.

Carlos tilts his head and gives TK a long lingering kiss, both reluctant to pull away.

“Thank you for my amazing party Carlos.”

“Happy birthday Tyler Kennedy”

“Ugh, why did you have to go and ruin the moment?” TK whines as he turns back around, and Carlos can only laugh and pull him close where they fall asleep with their hands entwined over TK’s heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re sure you’re ok?” TK asks for what is probably the tenth time that evening.

“Yes dear, I’m fine” Carlos teases in an overdramatic sigh.

TK reaches forward and hits his chest softly to show he’s not amused with his sass. Carlos just chuckles and grabs the hand that hit him and tangles their fingers together.

They’re settled on Carlos’ couch lengthwise, TK has his legs apart so Carlos can lay in between them with his back to TK’s chest. It’s a role reversal from how they usually like to lounge, but TK insisted so he could rub Carlos’ aching back and shoulders before he laid back to rest.

He got rear-ended while out on a call today. Thankfully no one was injured, but the other car was going fast enough that he’s already sore and knows he’s going to be feeling it for days to come. He still doesn’t even know how TK found out so quickly, it wasn’t a long process, but by the time he was leaving the scene he already had a dozen texts and calls from TK begging to know if he was ok.

He messaged that he was going home and told TK he’d call him and tell him what happened then. But TK was already waiting at his house when he got there, wearing an expression Carlos had never seen before.

Without a word he kissed him hard and led him inside where he could triple-check that Carlos was ok, completely ignoring his protests that Michelle had already looked him over. TK finally accepted that he was just sore and achy. He made Carlos take a hot shower and then told him he wanted to help him with the pain.

Now laying here together on the couch, he knows they should probably get up, this isn’t the position he needs to fall asleep in despite how comfortable he is right now. But he can’t seem to make himself move so he closes his eyes and figures they both can take a small nap before heading to bed.

“I was so scared.”

Carlos’ eyes pop back open when he hears TK speak again. He’s got the thick tone to his voice that Carlos’ associates with exhaustion so he knows this is another of TK’s sleepy confessions. He can also sense something different in the tone than normal, something raw and emotional. He grips TK's hand and brings it to his lips while he lets TK speak his mind.

“All I heard was you had been in an accident, no one could tell me how bad it was, if I needed to find you at a hospital or….” He trails off, unable to finish his dark thought.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, you know I never want to worry you.”

“I know. I just, it’s hard. Being completely helpless and having to wait to get any kind of news. That was the longest hour of my life. I was terrified.” TK takes another deep breath. “And so angry at myself.”

And that, that catches Carlos off guard.

“What do you mean, what could you possibly have to be angry at yourself for?” He grips TK just a little tighter while he waits. He loves when TK opens up but always hates how hard he is on himself.

TK takes so long to answer that Carlos thinks he fell asleep. He loathes to wake him up, but that also wasn’t a comment he can just let go, but before he can sit up and decide, TK speaks again.

“I have a routine.” He mumbles and Carlos’ breathe catches because he thinks he might know where this is going. “Remember that time we were on the phone and you had to go because there was a robbery in progress?”

Carlos can only nod.

“I felt so helpless, sitting at work with nothing to do but wait to hear if you were ok.”

It’s gratifying to hear, Carlos can’t even pretend. He remembers the incident well. It was at the beginning of their relationship, weeks before they even defined what they were doing as more than casual. Carlos’ has no doubt that TK has never wanted harm to come to him, but to hear how worried he got even back then, it’s a pleasant revelation.

“I didn’t have any cleaning or maintenance or paperwork to keep me busy, so I got on the treadmill and ran. I made it to about three and a half miles before I got a text from you that you were ok. I remember the exact number and the speed I was going.” TK absentmindedly starts running his hand through Carlos’ hair and he can tell it’s helping to ground him. “Now whenever I hear that you are heading to any kind of rough or dangerous call, I get on the treadmill and run exactly the same distance and speed. And I didn’t get to do that today.”

Carlos can’t pretend he isn’t a little stunned. TK always seems fairly composed whenever they talk about Carlos having a dangerous call. But then again, he knows he does his best to keep his self-control whenever TK’s safety is on the line.

TK pauses again. “I know it’s stupid—-“

“Every time I hear there’s a fire while you’re on shift I have to immediately leave my desk and walk past the coffee shop across the street and to the one 5 blocks away and get an Americano with cream and two raw sugars. Then I have to take the long way back to work. Even if I just had coffee or even in the pouring rain.”

TK pauses his hand combing through Carlos’ hair for a second. “Really?”

“You aren’t the only one who worries, love.”

TK takes another breath and then admits in a whisper, “I also have routines if I’m on a call or if I’m not at work.”

From almost the beginning he’s known that he and TK just understand each other in a way they never have with anyone else.

Carlos twists a little to look up at him. “Yeah me too.”

“Well ok then.” TK says and kisses the top of his head and Carlos knows he’s not imagining the smile being pressed there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlos realizes he’s going to have to come up with a new ritual because the next time it happens they’re in the hospital.

He’s doing his best to stay calm as he sits by the hospital bed his anxiety-inducing boyfriend is lying in. When he looks over at TK he thinks he’s probably having a harder time than TK even is with all of this.

All in all, he got off lucky. TK had a ceiling collapse on him and only walked away with a mild concussion from it. The doctors did a thorough check and were in the process of releasing him. They had already given Carlos a list of symptoms to look out for and ways to help or ease TK’s pain and discomfort.

“I love you, you know that?”

Carlos smiles at the man, thankful that he managed to break him out of the dark thoughts that were starting up again.

“I do, you say it a lot.” He does. Once TK was able to finally say the words a little while ago, he says them all the time. Carlos could tell he was ready to say them weeks before he finally did and now it’s like he’s making up for lost time. Honestly, Carlos couldn’t be happier.

“I love you so much I would fold your laundry for you.”

That, however, is new and Carlos’ startled laugh seems to only amuse a half-asleep and half out of it TK laying on the hospital bed watching him.

“Ok well, that’s… sweet of you?” He manages to say.

“It is sweet of me. I rarely even fold my own laundry, but I love you so much I’d fold all of yours.”

Carlos can’t do anything but lean over and give TK a soft lingering kiss after something so adorably sweet like that. Sleepy and playful TK is just another sign that he really is feeling ok and the knots in Carlos’ stomach that have taken residence since he heard the shouts about the roof collapsing loosen a tiny bit more. Of course he still had to mess with him a little bit.

“This is amazing news sweetheart, because I just so happen to have some clean clothes in the dryer waiting.”

TK only smiles wider. “You’re just always ruining the moment, aren’t you?”

Carlos can only laugh as a nurse pokes their head in to let them know TK’s discharge papers are ready.

“Finally,” TK sits up and waits for Carlos to help him stand up where he sways into his arms. The concussion along with exhaustion is taking its rapid effect and Carlos just wants to get him in bed as soon as possible where he can hold him and try and forget what a close call he had today.

“You ready handsome?” He asks, as TK cuddles closer in his arms.

“I am. Take me home babe.”

“Oh. I thought I’d take you to my place? So I can keep an eye on you.” Take care of him is really what he means, and he knows TK knows it too. But if he says it out loud TK will try to pretend like he knows how to take care of himself. He doesn’t.

“That’s what I meant. Take me home.”

Carlos gives him a small smile, loving that in TK’s mind, his home is like a home to him too. He gave him a spare key a little while ago, which he uses liberally. Carlos is also pretty sure half of TK’s clothes are in his closet or dresser. He sleeps there pretty much every night they don’t have shifts. Carlos wants him there every night and day but he’s trying to be thankful for what they have for now.

“Is that ok? That I called your house my home? We can just forget it, it doesn’t have to mean anything.” He looks so nervous all of a sudden and Carlos realizes he mistook his expression and silence for something other than happiness.

“Sweetheart stop, of course it’s ok. You know I want you over always. I want you to feel welcome and it means everything to me that you feel comfortable enough to consider it as a home.”

“I think of it as my actual home,” TK responds quietly as if hoping his confession won’t be a big deal if it’s not said too loud. “Wherever my dad is will always be somewhere safe and welcome to me, but when I think of home now, it’s always with you.”

“With me?” Carlos asks him happily, rubbing his hands up and down his arms.

“Mmhmm.”

“With me and our house?”

TK looks up a little surprised but mostly hopeful and Carlos smiles at him.

“It’s always been your home TK. From the moment I gave you a key, and hell even before that. I just never wanted to push or rush you before you were ready.”

“Mmm, yeah you’re good like that,” TK says and leans in to kiss him softly. “Well, I am more than ready now. And I think I have been for a while too. Honestly I’m pretty sure about three-quarters of my wardrobe is already there.”

“Do you mean to tell me you actually have more clothes?” Carlos mostly pretends to be appalled.

“Yep, but I’ve already moved in so no take-backs.”

Carlos laughs. “I love you.”

“Yeah?” TK says with that way he gets where he’s fishing for more. Despite his exhaustion he’s got a smirk on his face.

“Mmhmm.” Carlos leans in to whisper in his ear. “In fact, I'm even willing to fold your insane amount of laundry when you bring the rest over. A handsome smartass once told me that’s true love.”

TK can only laugh at that and let Carlos pull him in for a hug before they leave to head home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They’re laying in bed in what is probably Carlos’ favorite way to fall asleep these days, with TK practically on top of him, with his head on his chest. TK told him once how calming and reassuring it is for him to fall asleep to Carlos’ heartbeat. He is open and free with his love and affections now, but he still manages to catch Carlos off guard sometimes and he couldn’t be more in love if he tried.

He could feel TK fall asleep moments before and he closes his eyes ready to join him.

“I think we should get married.”

He somehow manages to keep his eyes shut, he’s too intent on calming his racing heart and telling himself TK must be talking in his sleep. He won’t, he will not let himself get his hopes up about what that might mean because TK is asleep and it isn’t fair of him to read into it.

He keeps his eyes closed and stays quiet and hopes that if he doesn’t encourage TK to continue talking this will be forgotten and he can go back to trying his best to be patient and wait for the right time to ask that question himself.

He feels TK moving around a little though but before he can really understand what is happening he feels as if something is suddenly right in front of his face. He loses his control and opens his eyes to stare directly at TK’s hand inches from his face. With a beautiful gold band between his fingers.

Carlos would estimate it took him about 3 days to stop staring at the ring before he finally looked at TK’s smiling face, TK will tell him later it was a little shorter than that.

He seems to have lost the ability to speak because all he can do is stare in wonder. He knows his expression must be ridiculous, but it doesn’t even matter because TK is laughing at him and it is the most beautiful sight he has ever seen in his life.

TK must finally pick up on the fact that he’s rendered his boyfriend speechless and decides to take mercy on him and speak first.

“What’s the problem babe, did you think I was asleep?” TK asks with a twinkle in his eye. They’ve talked about it and TK knows all about how he gets when he’s tired and his guard is down. He would never have thought his menace of a love would use that knowledge to his advantage and mess with him like he just did. And honestly, Carlos couldn’t be happier.

“That might have crossed my mind, yeah.” He finally finds his words.

“Oh,” the cheeky asshole replies, “I understand. It’s ok, we can pretend I was really tired just now and put this away…” TK starts to turn away as if to put the ring somewhere, anywhere else but on Carlos’ finger and Carlos has them flipped and is on top of TK before he even realizes he had moved.

“If you think for even a second that that ring is going anywhere else but on my hand right now—”

TK surges up to kiss him but they both can’t stop smiling or laughing for it to last long.

“So is that a yes then babe?”

“You know you technically haven’t asked me a question,” Carlos says, so giddy he can’t help himself from teasing.

“Mmmm. I haven’t, have I?” TK pauses for a moment to stare at Carlos and it takes his breath away to see the overwhelming love and happiness that is on display right now. One that is for Carlos only. It’s an expression he had always hoped to see and it manages to get better every single time.

“Carlos Reyes, love of my life, will you marry me?”

Carlos blinks several times, trying to keep the tears at bay so he can continue to look at TK’s beautiful and hopeful face, but his answer is immediate. “Yes, mi corazon, yes.” He whispers.

He knows TK’s blinding smile is from the answer and the name and he smiles in responses and kisses TK with everything in him. TK pulls back all too quickly and Carlos starts to protest before TK reaches for his left hand and places the ring on his finger. They both stare at it till TK looks up at him and kisses his knuckles.

“I love you.” TK says, his voice rough with emotions.

“Oh, I love you too. So much.” Carlos can only reply as he strokes TK’s face with his new favorite hand. The band compliments TK’s skin so well, Carlos can’t wait to see the two next to each other for the rest of his life.

He leans in again and kisses TK with the full intention of showing him exactly how excited he is about being engaged and smiles when he can feel that TK is determined to do the same.

Later on, when they are both laying on their sides facing each other and catching their breaths, Carlos’ mind wanders to their sock drawer. A cliché hiding place he knows, but TK is incredibly picky about his socks he learned from the beginning. He never needed to worry about him grabbing one of Carlos’ pairs and finding the ring by accident.

“Can I be honest with you about something?”

“I would hope so, fiancé,” TK grins at him.

His insides light up at the title and he swears if they didn’t just finish he’d be rolling TK on his back again in a heartbeat. “You’re going to use that a lot and kill me aren’t you?”

TK full on giggles at him. “Yep. Now that I’ve seen your reaction, I’m gonna use it all the time.”

“I can’t find it in myself to even pretend like I’m upset by that.”

“Good,” TK says as he picks up Carlos’ hand and starts playing with his ring, Carlos is pretty sure he could spend the rest of his life in this moment. “What did you want to be honest with me about?”

He blinks and remembers his early thoughts. “Right yeah, so I might have one small issue with you proposing to me tonight.”

“Oh?” Carlos has TK’s full attention now it seems as he stares at him in expectant confusion.

“I have a ring in the sock drawer. I've been planning to propose for a little while now. I was just waiting for the right time.” He’s not sure why but he’s desperate for TK to understand that this next step was also in his plan too and that somehow for once TK managed to beat him to it. But only barely.

TK’s smile is blinding. He’s never seen him so content in all their time together. “Well, then I’m really glad I got to ask first. I finally beat you to one of our milestones.” He leans over and kisses Carlos for a couple of long seconds. “But I am going to need that ring now.” He holds up his hand expectantly.

But Carlos can’t quite let this go. “I just need for you to understand that this has always been my plan and hope for us, for you.” Now that he has gotten started he realizes why he’s so desperate for TK to understand. “You deserve everything, I wanted to show you that. I wanted you to see that you’re worthy of a moment like this, and—“

“Hey,” TK manages to startle Carlos out of what was absolutely going to turn into a long-winded rant if he wasn’t careful. He pushes Carlos till he lays on his back and then quickly straddles him so he can look down at him and keep his undivided attention.

“I already know I’m deserving, ok? And I wanted to propose to the man who helped me remember that.”

TK seems to have no problem with the fact that he’s rendered Carlos speechless because he keeps going. “From the moment I met you, you started showing me that. You being you, loving and taking care of me and being patient with me. You challenged me and called me out when I needed it. You helped me understand I deserve this, I deserve to be happy. And to be happy with you.” TK has tears falling from his eyes but he’s never looked happier. “And you made me so confident in that and our love so I could do this tonight with no hang-ups. I didn’t have one hesitation or fear and that’s because of you.”

Thankfully TK seems to understand that Carlos needs a few moments to recover. He thinks back over their time together, and how all he’s ever wanted for TK was everything that TK just says he gave him.

“Well, I can’t argue with that can I?” Carlos finally manages to say with his own tears streaming down his face.

“Not so much, no.” TK starts peppering kisses all over his face before he pulls back to glare at him. “But I swear if you don’t go get my ring right now and get it on my finger I will—“

Carlos stops his threat with a kiss and laughs as he moves TK off of him to rush to the dresser. He told himself before that he would be as patient as he needed to be in their relationship. Now as he puts his ring on TK’s hand he finds he’s more than eager to start the rest of their lives together. And by the look on TK’s face, he’s just as ready.

#tarlos #tarlos fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #911 lone star #my writing #i tried friends

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