#I also have a rock that lights up
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Apparently Sacred Ground is a wildly niche cosplay
#I am a grey circle I'm sorry#I also have a rock that lights up#no one was getting it#cosplay updates#sacred ground#star trek voyager
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hhhhidea...,,,, CUTE idea (kinda?) dust reading to phantom papyrus during night to lull him to sleep,,,, but really its just a way for him to pretend that everythings not really that shit (as if phantom paps isn't just dust's denial incarnate) and to help him NOT wake up because of a nightmare again or something
(and just because i can't resist now im imagining this with mtt. not that dust stopped reading to paps in place of killer and horror (because he wouldnt he simply wouldn't) but now the two join them for storytime. horror knocks out pretty damn fast and eventually dust falls asleep too after he makes sure that paps is satisfied with the amount he read and then killer's just left to sit there. maybe he tries to fall asleep maybe he doesn't,,,, maybe he picks up the book and continues reading but EITHERWAY,,,,,, this scene in my head so 💥💥💥😇😇😇)
#sweet soft mtt taking OVER triglycercule's brain has been invaded with them.........#horror probably sleeps like a rock man. dust is a very very very light sleeper. killer doesn't sleep at all and when he does#its just like that half asleep state. better than nothing tho....... those weeks of not sleeping probably leads to the most delicious naps#now in an ideal world killer learns to get a proper sleep schedule even if he can't feel his exhaustion#however in MY mtt dominated world killer doesn't fix his sleep habits and instead just takes a shitton of naps everywhere#they killerfied the house (made everything softer to sleep on) and killer always has 2 walking pillows to sleep on#sure he might not get 8 hours of sleep like during night. but he got that over the day so its ok TRUSY#this surely wont have any bad side effects but whatever its the mtt since when do they care about PROPER habits. if it works it works#ik i aaaaalways say hrkl wouldn't like phantom paps and find it weird but also now im considering#like. them being jealous of dust for always having kinda papyrus with him#like damn..... horror fucked up his brother permanently. he will never get the old paps back#and killer doesnt want to see his papyrus again because then he thinks hell just ruin everything again#but dust gets to talk and laugh and joke with his paps all the time!!! he got it better than them and thats just cus he hallucinates!!!! wt#i mean phantom paps isnt a 1:1 version of papyrus but hes close enough in my eyes#another idea....... horror (and maybe killer if he warms up to it) hanging out with dust JUST to talk to phantom paps#dust could easily just lie about what phantom paps says (although unless he had a reason he wouldnt risk upsetting paps like that methinks)#but theres something there. something something toxic mttpoly dynamic or whatever idc man. im in the mood for FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!#i think it would be funny if phantom paps says dusts deepest thoughts about hrkl. and then if he wants to say it dust has to filter it a LO#they could be sitting near killer and phantom paps would provide a detailed description of why killer has the mannerisms of a cat#and then dust would (hesitantly) agree to everything paps said (he was thinking it too) but when killer looks back at him#(he's been staring at killer for the past 10 minutes to see if what paps said was right) dust just says like. you remind me of a cat#OR BETTER YET he doesn't wanna admit that he thought of that so he just says paps says you remind him of a cat#insert horror version of this moment here. and killer quickly realizes that dust's just using papyrus as an excuse for why he says stuff#like that sometimes. horror just thinks dust's a weirdo freak (but unlike killer he takes the little observations to heart. loser)#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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Doodle dump (except it's Naruto!?)
Art dump! First one after my exams finished! :D
I blame @bakapandy and their art entirely for getting me interested in the sand siblings+Shikamaru (PLS GO FOLLOW THEM THEIR LINEWORK IS SO GOOD AND WHEN THEY COLOUR???? IT'S FUCKING MAJESTIC AND I LOVE THEIR COMICS)
Anyways! I'm rather new to the Naruto fandom so these are all the people in the cast I've adapted to my style so far! Also dear lordsy there is so many people that I have to remember names and faces for in this series T^T
#sabaku no gaara#gaara of the sand#gaara#gaara fanart#kankuro#kankuro fanart#temari#temari no sabaku#kankuro no sabaku#temari fanart#iruka umino#iruka fanart#rock lee#rock lee fanart#shikamaru nara#shikamaru fanart#sand siblings#naruto#You would not BELIEVE the huge urge I have to give all the sand siblings curly hair#Problem is is that Kankuro doesn't look very right? To me? With curly hair?#Also my skin colour marker for Gaara was FIGHTING ME when I was colouring him in#It started to dry up in the fine side so I switched to the broad side and it was DARKER???? IN THE BROAD SIDE????#Also! The lighting on Kankuro's face? You see how it's fucked up?#That's because of the marker I used#And once I noticed it was fucked up I wanted to CRY#I couldn't find out how to fix it either :(#honeys art
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These tags made me laugh because I grew up in Atlanta, GA sorta-suburbia and when I learned Warrior cats kinda also takes place in a similar setting I went "yeah"
#sheb.txt#to be fair I'm sure it was written closer to the neighborhoods in the UK#but my “outdoors” experience was camping with my brother's cub scout troop and not even in the actual nature GA has to offer#I have a FUCKTON of family in Appalachia though (my grandfather has 11 siblings)#and I went there a few times and was FLOORED by how different West Virginia wilderness is to Georgia wilderness#I had woods in my backyard growing up and that was my reference for “forest”#but the forests in the appalachian mountains? Fucking Rock Bottom from Spongebob#ADVANCED darkness#anyway its crazy when you're 12 years old and away from light pollution for the first time#i forget what the reason for this post was#oh yeah its cool to meet other people who have different reference for where WC takes place#also the times ive met internet strangers from WV and it turned out we're distantly related is not 0#if the name Jarrell is familiar to you at all uuuuh we might be cousins
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filler doodles about how i comedically whitewashed myself as a child (despite also being the darkest i had and still have ever been in my entire life) because i cannot wrap my head around it
#filler art#my art#i was also short haired at the time so its odd i drew myself as having very long hair but is it any more weird than me whitwashing myself no#i remember i also imagined myself to grow up as a white girl like#HUH??? like i was so convinced i was going to look like all the white main character girls on television ... i had to look like one#all of this was probably because of the lack of representation in tv i could find at the time tbh#BECAUSE THIS WASNT AN ISSUE OF MY DAY TO DAY LIFE NOOOOOO#in here being... moreno?!?! . brown?!?!! EVEN IF LIGHT IS MILES MORE COMMON THAN BEING WHITE#AND ITS SO MUCH MROE SILLIER BECAUSE I WAS MCUH MORE DARK THAN I CURRENTLY AM BACK THEN#as of now im more so lightskinned . nowhere near white but im not very dark either because i dont see rhe sun often ww so im pale#BACK THEN I GOT BURNT ON THE SUN AS A HOBBY im serious i sat on the hot rock floor with burning sun climate bevause it was nice#NOT EVEN THE CURLS COULD BE SAVED I HAD TO PORTRAY MYSELF AS STRAIGHT HAIRED FOR WHATEVER REASON#like on my defense i did straighten my hair out a lot as a young child but THAT LASTED LIKE 2 DAYS EVERY TIME#so 90% i was curls so its funny#ALSO WHY DID WE CALL THE CREAM COLOR “THE SKIN COLOR” WHAT#like. it wasnt just me . whole elementary school knew if you asked for rhe skin color you talkin about thay#any tone of brown simply did not work I DONT KNOW WHY WE WERE ALL LIKE THIS???#thankfully at the age of 10 i realized i infact had melanin but .. i coudlnt accept i had black hair still💀💀#so my skin and hqir color were always the same in portrayals ITS SO FUNNY IM SORRY#I FIDN THIS INSANELY FUNNY IM SO SORRY#dont feel too concerned i wasnt ashamed of my skin color or anything but i had the warped idea i would look white soon#not if you keep cooking youself in the sun you wont /j#i dont know what to say about how i draw myself now a days i dont draw myself as myself but i know i aint white now its okay 🩷 (/hj)
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shoutout to people with dads who are part of Gen X who introduced them to the best music of their generation when their dads were kids in the 70s-80s (it's me i'm people) (i love my dad <3)
#also shoutout to my 80s mum who has the best taste in metal and rock ever <3#for fun here's a list of artists my dad introduced me to when i was young: queen. the beatles. electric light orchestra. the monkees. acdc.#-jeff wayne and his orchestra. led zepplin. pink floyd. toto. billy joel. europe. guns n roses. weird al. abba. beegees. tom jones.-#-david bowie. michael jackson. king crimson. roar.#my parents have such good music taste#also i love how my dad is mostly 70s 80s rock and stuff and then my mum is just like full on rob zombie#my music taste has basically been inherited from 3 places and 3 places only: my mum my dad and the internet#also fun fact: according to my dad i used to fall asleep to acdc when i was a small child#it was the song ''she's got the jack'' specifically#progressive rock makes me really relaxed to. i have probably been lulled to sleep by pink floyd many times as a tiny child#dude started my music taste young#my dad liking prog rock is probably the reason i like bands like yes and tangerine dream now#also 70s rock is just so. gender?????#maybe the reason 70s-80s music gives me so much gender euphoria is because it reminds me of my dad#anyway yeah shoutout to 70s-80s music#ALSO shoutout to the movies tommy and hairspray and little shop of horrors because my parents showed me them too!!#i really grew up as an 80s-90s kid with 70s music tastes living in the mid 2000s lmao
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Remember that ASL + Uta Band AU I made not long ago? Yeah? Well, here you have a really short playlist about it (Yes, their band is obviously called Drums of Liberation. What did you all expect?)
I am making playlists for the other bands I have in mind because I got too into this AU. I'm not sure if I'll ever write something about this, but damn I have so many ideas already... You'll see... I even have a Google doc with it. And I finally finished making the story about how these four ended up making a band and everything!!
Btw, check out the amazing fanart @elsdreamworld made for this AU that I used for the cover of the playlist.
#if you're curious about the other bands and you want a lil spoiler about it:#nami/vivi (tangerine neon lights) (lesbian musical indie duo)#<- honestly it's the only one with name along with asl+uta bc i haven't come up with the other names yet#kid/killer/hawkins/drake (rock metal band but they're softer than they look)#law/bepo/shachi/penguin (i mean... obviously) (also law tries to be adgy and doesn't work bc the other three are extremely cute)#sanji/usopp/zoro (personal fav) (i'm excited to talk about this one tbh)#perona goes solo#shanks and buggy used to be a duo and then they made their separate bands bc they broke up#<- thing that happens in every band au#and uhhhh you'll see what happens#SHANKS AND UTA HAVE SOOOO MUCH DRAMA IN THIS ONE BTW I AM SO DRAMATIC WITH THEIR STORY HERE WJKEFNJSENFJKRNFK#one piece#portgas d. ace#uta one piece#revolutionary sabo#monkey d. luffy#asl brothers#op band au#Spotify
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I could cry
#was sooo cloudy here#but my girlfriends mom sent me legitimately 14 pictures in a row of her view#she knows I love them and it was really fucking cute#so went to find them#wasn’t as bright as they appear but I was so happy#my dad and I have talked about going to Iceland to see them he loves them too#if it was brighter I would’ve woken him up last night but where I live you couldn’t see em#found this spot and there was a girl by herself watching on a rock with a blanket and her camera#we left when she did no girl left behind#especially not in a pitch black parking lot at 1:30am#some peoples views were nuts! her moms windows were glowing pink I would’ve been actually crying#also always feels good to be thought about and reminded that you are#I’ll see it again someday I wanna see it with my dad#he’s seen it up in the allagash in maine when he was younger#and the full moon up there is insane too he’s talked about it#he has the best stories#anyways I'm so happy so many people got to see it#and I hope if you missed it you get to see it in the future#so special 🖤🖤#northern lights#aurora borealis#mine
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Some builds I've been working on
#sel talks#described#minecraft#I lied; I'm not posting the link to the server#but you can still dm me if you want it ig#or ig u could reply to this post and I can dm u if u want#the snow is doing me no favors#also pointing at my custom player model#made that thang B)#the whiskers and tail are animated but u can't tell cause these sre just screenshots :/#really big fan of the glowing rocks#you only get a close up of the bridge cause I'm embarrassed about my building skills#also a lot of them are wips and not done yet#really glad you can see the little area I have set up for the town square#those yellow trees in the back is where my big ol church is going to go#the server tagline is 'realm of gods' which I am interpreting as the players become/are small deities#and it'd be kinda fun to make a place of worship for all the small gods :3#granted; I am the only active player so it's a bit quiet#there's a couple people in the discord but I've only seen one other person on the server#Amestrise#<- server name#I think it's really funny when I think I might have figured out what I'd want my title to be and it's homestuck#and then I go and make my flag a fucking green sun T^T#Oh! I want my focus to be light based cause I really like these crystals! Oh! My eyes are green so I want that to be a focus in my flag!#This green sun design makes a lot of sense!#it took me a good few hours before I realised u_u
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[HAPPY ROCKMAN DAY!!!]
Based on the Archie Mega Man #55 Rockman Variant Cover by Ryan Jampole!! (And the background's the same, I just used the cover itself for that)
#ITS NEARLY 5 AM AND I DONT EVEN LIKE THIS DRAWING#but rockman day mega man is everything to me so I had to do.somethinggg#also i have to stop using the digital pen its so pixelated and it makes tumblr REALLY fuck up my images#blues' art tag#mega man#megaman#rockman#rock light#roll light#mega man roll#protoman#proto man#I JUST REALIZED I COUKDVE ALSO JUST USED A PIC FROM WHEN ARCHIE ACTUALLY HAD AN ISSUE ABT ROCKS BIRTHDAY. IM GONNA EXPLODE
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these things are always happening to the ones i like :////////
anyways the lighting in this dungeon is so nice
didn't get any good pics bc i was too busy dungeoning but so pretty...best dungeon music so far goes to snowcloak though btw
#ffxivposting#i knew it was coming bc i tried to use the google search bar as a spellcheck for his name (LOL) like a DUMBASS because in the suggestions..#i was like no!! no!! but he's so funny!!!!!! and the second he showed up in game again i started taking screenshots of me n the bestieee#it wouldnt be accurate to say that i am Emotional about this but i am like aw man...but he was so funny...insert montage of All The Memorie#was crazy seeing her looking so distressed in a cutscene. girl me too! he was so funny </3#the loud ass screenshot sound effects throughout the cutscene were funny though.this is who i am#altogether i have like 150+ screenshots of this game thus far.serious shit#IN OTHER NEWS:#- i cant stop laughing at finding out that a.lphinaud is in fact 16 years old. like i was guessing he was 17 or so but man it checks out#so hard. smart fella or not of course the sixteen year old boy naively founded a private army. it checks out so hard. hes cute :)#- since the tail end of arr patch quests ive been checking npc dialogue of relevant characters and thats a bit of a goldmine sometimes#- the first time aymeric(?) (not double checking via google ive learned my lesson) showed up i joked that he was going to be an akc type#and well no. he's really not. but i did cackle when it was revealed that he was a bastard child. clocked him on accident#- addicted to dalamud red dye. was funny when estinien started rocking his blood red armor like omg now we're Extra twinsies!#funny to me when they acknowledge the whole drg class stuff. like ah yes the Other azure drg. sorry estinien this feels like stolen valor#this is just what happens when u play f.fiv multiple times when u are r like 6. and also just think lances are sexy.#- can't wait to find out where tf the rest of the scions went. hi guys. you wont Believe what happened while you were AFK!#that's right! dragons! and then theyre like I Haven't Seen The Light Of The Sun For An Ambiguous Amount Of Time...cowabummer!#i keep joking abt needing to do a wellness check on urianger but honestly hes fine hes living it up in the sand. hes doing fine#- anyway can someone do a wellness check on ysayle(?).#- i've unlocked flight in a couple zones! thankkk god. some of these places are ROUGH to navigate without it sometimes.#- my keybinds are rough. also i have a gauge now. havent gotten to use it bc of level sync but anyway this feels like school#dont worry chat i only do duties with other real players when i Literally Have To Because They Make Me#- anyway. very ? about what theyre going to do with the rest of this story. intrigued. and quite sleepy i must say.
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my (first!!) pc is built 😭 this was a task and a half and also very very scary lmao. I was SO worried I was gonna break shit and even now that its built and very much so up and running and ok im like... worried its about to break lmao (like its unfounded! but im still like. oh god its going to brick itself at any second). I'm yet to properly test it out with bg3, but it is running my silly cozy little mmos wonderfully. I also now feel like I need to sleep forever after getting this done lmao.
bonus:
as you can see I am exclusively using top of the line Pro Gamer peripherals, such as this keeb from 1998. this keyboard is older than me.
#im fucking. sleepy tired man what a day#my monitor is old also. but tbh theyre both pretty good quality its just like. their aesthetic is lacking which#id rather use old free shit that works well yanno? than pay for aesthetic junk idk#thats the same reason theres no lights in my case like. idk i dont care enough to spend money on that#but im. happy. and nervous. about this. if it breaks or if it turns out that i fucked something up... i will have a cat 5 menty b#i can tell u that much#hell today building it i was like. trying so hard to not have a panic attack sjshshdh#but yeah im happy af to have this like... done. ready to rock n roll#my post
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Hello, hey, dropping in with a query.
Since CS has officially concluded (congrats by the way!) I wanna ask about your own interpretation of Mother Nature.
She is absolutely my girl, I adore her, queen, but I wanna know how exactly she fits into the CS world structure. How does she keep looking so young when everyone else ages normally? What was her relationship to Mother Gaia? What kind of magical creature is she and was mother Gaia also the same kind? How does she fit into the government structure? HOW IS SHE SO TALL???
Idk, she's been on my mind a lot and I'm assuming we'll know a bit more about all that at some point but I can't wait that long lol
Thank you!! You know, it's so funny, bc while I was oot and aboot yesterday/Friday I was like "I can take a breather from writing, just focus on other things--" and not 24 hours later I had the Into the Shadows plotting doc open, as I finally figured out what happens in Chapter 7 🫠🫠
I WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE! But what can I say, I love this world and I love writing. Shit's FUN
ANYWAY. YOUR QUERY MY GOOD FRIEND. I COME WITH ANSWERS IN POINT FORM NOTES
It's all kinda rough tbh??? More like scattery thoughts if anything but HERE YOU GO! HAVE SOME CS LORE!
Okay okay so Mother Gaia was essentially the personification of ALL nature, and as such, could wield all Nature :) She looks like a sprite, tho, and for all intents and purposes would call herself a sprite--same with Mother Nature
This also checks out bc in CS, sprites are specifically fae who can control weather/nature/the elements! :)
Gaia was the Goddess's connection to the people, and got a little lonely when the Goddess was like "everyone is safe, things are going well, take it easy, Gaia!" so, she created a companion. A fellow personification of nature that she named Tara, who could do everything she could do
The Goddess gave her a light life, which is like a little ball of life that brings things to life (I am soo creative at naming things I swear) and Gaia used it to give Tara, well. life!
So, Mother Gaia was in all senses of the word, Mother Nature's Mother! Tara called her Mother and meant it in all the ways :)
Gaia trained her, raised her, loved her very very much and eventually started training her to take her own place one day
And that day came faster than expected for Tara when Mother Gaia fucking SNAPPED mid fae war and scorched the land to stop the fighting, in a stretch that has since NEVER GROWN BACK. It's known as the scar. Autumn lives close to it in modern-day CS.
Once that happened, Gaia was like APPALLED. She'd been just as bad as the fae fighting over who was best, using her powers for what she wasn't meant to use her powers for: hurting the Earth
She was beside herself; went to go talk to the Goddess and was gone for DAYS. All the fighting stopped, tho!
Then she and the Goddess came up with Rosehaven and the Call, and Gaia went with the old fae during the Call, leaving Tara to be the Next Mother Gaia
And she chose the title Mother Nature and here we are!
SO. In modern day CS, she is: the connection to the goddess for the magibeans, if they need her to be; guards the magic of creation/life/balance??? (a system I'm still trying to figure out lol, I'll have to dig up those notes at some point), and heads the Council with Father Time.
She's on the Assembly because when it was formed NOBODY felt right not having her on there, so she's kind of like. She's the approver of decisions lol. She lets them do their thing but if they ever come to an impasse they turn to her, and her word is essentially law
That's sort of why when the Twin Princes were born she was called to choose who'd rule next! Well, Gaia was, but Gaia left the decision to Tara as they were at That Point in training: POLITICS. If magibeans had an issue that couldn't be solved amongst themselves OR by the royals, MN/MG would be called upon and what she'd say, GOES
Which left for a lot of last minute swerves bc Gaia was clever and MN is just as clever. See: that story about the two people fighting over the chicken???? I forget what it was, anyway, the person presiding went CUT IT IN HALF and one was like okay cool! And the other was like SOB NO MY CHICKEN and the person deciding was like GOT EM LOL. That sorta shit.
In the event of an emergency, Mother Nature and the CS Governor (so Blaise since this mans just can't seem to lose an election, and he has TRIED some years) become de facto co-rulers and both have to agree on decisions before acting on them. This would be like. In a nasty war or like. end of the world circumstance kinda thing
SO YEAH SHE'S BASICALLY JUST THE HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE. KEEPS MOTHER FUCKERS IN LINE. WILL TELL PEOPLE IF WHAT THEY WANNA DO IS STUPID. ALSO, CONTROLS ALL NATURE AND KEEPS THE SEASONS GOING AND THE LIKE.
Why is she so young looking compared to everyone else? Well, if you asked her, she'd say you're only as old as you feel and offer no explanation. In terms of height, she'd look at you quizzically and go "Why not?" and that'd be her answer
this is Dani for "bc she can choose how to present herself and that's how she chooses too!"
kinda like Steven's gem reacting to his mindset sort of thing.
and also, tall Mother Nature just fucking SLAPS. She SHOULD be tall as FUCK! I subscribe to that! I LOVE tall MN. EVERYONE looks up to her--quite literally!
Except for like giants and trolls and other very tall magibeans and folklore creatures and the like 🤭🤭🤭
Hopefully I got all your questions! Thank you for asking! I LOVE thinking of early CS lore, it's so FUN and Mother Nature is one of my FAVES. I get so ragey in tsc fics where's she's written as a HUGE MEANER, super angry, etc etc and even borderline villain? GOD. I JUST. SHE'S A BADASS AND VERY SWEET AND EVERYONE FORGETS THE SWEET BIT!!! SHE WAS SO KIND TO SANTA AND THE OTHER LEGENDS IN THE MOVIES AND EVEN WHEN JACK WAS JACKING ABOUT, SHE WAS GENTLY CHIDING HIM!!!!!!! FUCK MAN! I'M GONNA EXPLODE JUST THINKING OF BAD MN CHARACTERIZATION! AH!
Please excuse the rant and uh, enjoy the heckin answer 😅😅😅
#dani answers#alpharra#cs lore#ask box shenanigans#crystal springs#and i GUESS i'll tag it as#tsc#as well. but not the full tag; this is way more cs lore than it is fanlore tbh lol#there's also two types of sprites! seasonal sprites and elemental sprites#the seasons and the frosts are all seasonal sprites--they have the whole entire season at their fingertips#elemental sprites are more like benders--can manipulate water or ice or fire or rocks/earth or make plants grow#i've got a lot going on in this big ol world i've found myself in lmao#ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!! I LOVE ASKS! ASKS ARE MY FAVOURITE! ESPECIALLY ONES THAT DETAIL ALL THE LORE FOR CS!!#CS ADJACENT ASKS IN GENERAL! AH!#i actually have a lil story planned that's about half (re) written that introduces the call and light lifes and how the seasons came to be#maybe I'll square it up and post it this summer!! :)#long post#sorry for the lack of read more i didn't know where it would best fit without breaking up the text#APOLOGIES TO YOUR DASHES
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i dunno why im so obsessed now bc it’s the middle of july but they should bring back the fluorescent adolescent/last christmas mashup with matt on lead vocals like they did during the humbug tour
#arctic monkeys#i Wonder when they discovered it had the same I vi ii V chord progression as the verses#anyway i need to hear matts godly voice more not just doing backing vocals#god that was a fucking time#and in one video when matt leaves the drums to come up to the front of the stage he and alex do the cutest head nudge#sorry im having a moment#it just seemed like such a special intimate thing before they blew up out of proportion and they felt like they had to ditch#all the light hearted and silly parts that made them seem human#and instead they’ve been elevated to rock-god status and they’ve had to put distance between them and their audience#because theyve become too huge#and now they’ve got vast expectations to fulfil#i guess it could be both a curse and a blessing bc they’ve obviously massively successful#but also they’ve lost that closeness with their fans due to their insurmountable fame#idk i find it a bit sad#sorry i did not mean to get all sappy and rambly
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not to keep liveblogging the retreat but it’s over now (it has been for most of the day). i cried so much today and it was amazing. im so sad and so happy and so relieved and so tired and so proud
#purrs#retreat tag#i was rly anxious facilitating today and overwhelmed bc we had to pack (i didn’t help at all and felt terrible) and i didn’t finish writing#notes to ppl and i had to facilitate and i was nervous abt the emotions. and then we got there and i said the final words and started crying#and this time EVERYONE was looking at me. but it wasn’t sad tears it was like…. wow. look at this. we made this together. we went through so#much this week and also for three years and we did it and it all mattered so much and we’re here together. and i felt all my past and future#selves and pods and cohorts in that moment and all the ones i didn’t get to see too. and it was so… wow. and then i was bawling when we were#hugging goodbye and someone in my pod hugged me for like a solid 2 minutes it felt like and we were just rocking each other and crying 🥹🥹🥹🥹#it doesn’t even feel real but also it was SO real. i can’t believe it’s over. not to keep talking a but crying but i cried for like an hour#when i got picked up and we went back to the hotel omg.. like this was MONTHS of intensive prep and planning plus 2 years of the heaviest LY#lifts to put on diminished versions of this magical thing and we got to do it this time and everything that led up to that mattered and the#ripples will roll out forever. im a little scared bc part of me feels distant from it bc i know so much now and have a lot of experience w i#it but like.. this program changed my whole life. introduced me to so many of the people i love. exploded my world into light. and i got to#be part of doing that for 43 other people. i feeel so lucky and warm#i feel cringy for talking abt it on here liek it’s disingenuous / just for performance but i rly mean that its just thisis my public diary 🥴#like omg. 5 years ago. and 3 years ago. and last semester. and now it’s over???? but also it’s just beginning. wild#naur also im a staff coach now and it was kinda sad the distance i felt. like they were scared of me / felt like i was untouchable a little#bit but it’s like… im only a couple years older than you. someone in my pod was a year older than me! so that was sad. but it was good
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pissed off at my friend again why do you gotta be such a bitch about what music I like
#when we first became friends she almost exclusively listened to english indie rock. which sure yeah ok#then she starts listening only to old latvian music and starts judging me for mostly listeninf to english music ?#acts like i have never heard a song in latvian in my life despite being a singer for 12 years. singing mostly in latvian#ok whatever. i like a lot of latvian music too but whatever say what you want#start listening to more latvian music find a bunch of artists i really like. tell her about them#she acts like all of those bands are shit and im still uncultured because i dont listen to. fucking choir and folk music#like yes its beautiful but it is not my cup of tea listen to what you want#today i send in the chat that theres a sale on sudden lights tickets because i know a different friends sister likes them a lot#of course she texts immediately 'i dont like them' girl i wrote 'those who need this' for a reason. i know u dont like them. i dont care#and then she has the audacity to call me stupid for not wantinf to watch a choir concert for 4 hours ? girl i do not like choir music#i didnt give you shit because you dont like sudden lights why do you shit on me for not liking choir music#its pretty but i am busy and also dont care that much ???#stop being so pretentious oh my fucking god. i get it your choir girly but shut UP#rant#personal
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