#I Want This To End

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i wish i had the energy to end it rn

[poisned]

I hate the war arc

[silverlulus]

A warning to the community with a certain zine and who to trust and not trust when letting people in projects or anything fandom related ⚠️

--

Reminder that I no longer run the zine and I tried to close it down due to a rat in the community who used someone's death as an excuse and wanted me gone as founder due to their petty behaviour.

It has now sadly been hijacked recently by them and two other ex admins of my one.

I had no issues if they made their own zine but that has not happened and they are now running amock and did not contact me prior for my consent in this matter, they just point blank ignored how this can further the damage.

So I have to warn and urge folks is please don't engage at all with users such as leechysmile and the other two who have taken over and claiming it as their own now.

The name they go under for it is "into the depths" on tumblr on the zine.

There is little I can do now as I have been blocked, but I will warn when I can, that I had shut the discord group down and that I wanted to end this zine and again, had no issues if they or others made their own from scratch with a different name.

Whilst they did change the name, they are still running the same zine, which is that part that I did not want to happen.

So due to this all, I am officially warning the ygo community of those mods on the now hijacked zine.

It is not safe and more so with a user called leechysmile and the lies they have created and putting out either false information or not enough to back up their claims with a screenshot from someone who passed away days ago and some issues they had to me prior which I was not aware of and they refused to listen to me when I tried to explain my side.

This led to me force shutting the zine down because I did not feel safe with them around me or others because of the toxic and how leechysmile reacted in the wrong way to a simple matter and the project was severely damaged by them and in the case I had to shut it down to try and stop anything further from happening but in the end it did nothing and now it's become bigger problem if anything else with how they've handled it.

The other mods made no effort to contact me to try and sort this issue out.

I wish this did not have to end like this with the zine, but I have been left no choice and I urge others to abandon it, don't let the folks running this get away with it.

Having something like this ripped away from me has been traumatic a fair amount, it was a love letter to the ygo fandom and it was taken away like this in a blink of an eye.

Folks like that need to be held accountable in fandom spaces and that it's not okay to act like this , it needs to stop.

Don't engage as I said though with these three users, just walk away, let what is left of the zine I made just die and let this one just rest in peace, that's all I want.

Seeing it still run even though with a different way hurts, this is not what I wanted and they need to understand that this is not okay.

Please spread this to warn others and stay safe, more so with the type of people that are in the hijacked one .

I never wanted it to end like this, but after being backstabbed repeatedly by folks there, I thought I could trust, but it was all a lie, and i won't tolerate this nor let them get away with this and neither should anyone else.

And I'm sorry to whoever is left contributing for that hollow project, I never wanted this project to end like this but it has been defaced and poisoned.

I know folks won't like me for calling the ex admins out , but I can't sit here and allow this, it has fcked a bit with my mental health and I'm having to keep certain emergency numbers aside in case during this.

This was a simple matter though, either create a new one from scratch and cut all ties with this or don't bother at all in the zine area.

It's that simple but carrying on like this just makes things worse and more uglier, so just end this like I wanted to, it's not difficult.

[the-moonlight-raven]

I like sharing to tumblr, because I feel like I'm talking to someone, jut no one actually gives a fuck :D unlike real life where you just lose every single person who ever made a mistake of being nice to you

[molinaskies]

I’ve been stuck on Master King’s trial for 9 hours of gameplay

[anaalnathrakhs]

why is this fuckass brain incapable of sustaining five consecutive seconds of happiness

[hyponautica]

i really wanna draw and post like i really really do. i have so many good wips. but my entire life right now is going to school, gaming for 2 hours and then sleeping. im stuck in limbo

[charliethinks]

i am such a messed up person.

[belteppismo]

Me going through all stages of grief in this uni hallway

[charlieworkz]

I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I lowkey dislike my degrees and career choices, that I dislike what I chose to do with my professional career, while having a minor panic attack.

Just the sight of the article i'm writting, my ex-coworkers' messages, my ex-advisor's messages, the publishers' messages, etc, makes me nauseous. Makes me want to bury my face in a pillow and cry. To go to bed and sleep the day away. Like, it's not that I hate my field of study. I love it. I really loved the valuable knowledge I collected and all the amazing things I was learning but, srsly, academia traumatized me. Being through the proccess of acquiring those degrees ruined me. I was already mentally ill when I joined those graduation programs, and they just made it 50x worse. The academic environment is vile, toxic and hostile. The shit I went through, my friends and fellow students went through, the shit I saw... honestly, it screwed me big time, when I was already very much sick. And so, here I am, having anxiety episodes, unemployed and broken. Honestly? I feel like I'm done with it. It's probably a waste, but I'm really considering not going on with an academic career and go do something else. Something very basic, very generic, that gives me money to live, and that's it. Take advantage of my diplomas and get a job through some selective proccess from some government agency that pays well and the end. Fuck, I'm so tired.

[all-things-cringe-worthy]

[sleepydepresso]

Cowardice is the only thing that's keeping me alive right now.

[strawberry-lemonade-kisses]

My third breakdown over chronic illness and the never ending chronic pain at 24 years old. This country is so unforgiving for the disabled and I'll. Why is it so hard to find work or keep a job that works with my limited health? I'm fucking trying. I'm trying my FUCKING best but I've pushed to hard and now I can barely push

[sephfire]

I don't want tomorrow to start

[the-moonlight-raven]

Yay, I made a friend!!!!

Jk, it's just the lady from su1c1de hotline, she remembered me from the last time lol

[helixmersd]

Okay so this may not be bad news to most (:’3)

But today I was SUPPOSED to post something but sadly I’ll have to post it tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.Because I’m extremely sick to my stomach. If there are any questions you are allowed to ask me but I hope all of you gays , gals and pals could understand

I hope all of you have a wonderful day/afternoon/night!!🤎🖤 I wish you all the best ^^!!