#I LOVE BEING ABLE TO YAP ABOUT THINGS THAT GENUINELY MAKE ME HAPPY!!!!!!!

[msachillelaurosfunnels]

@pranklinfierce Great question/s!

So, for my interest in history, it all started with an assignment in fourth grade. We were told to find a person who had a job that ended in "ologist" and write a document about them. I wanted to do an archaeologist, and when I searched for archaeologists on Google, I saw Thomas Jefferson. I wrote about him, but I only wrote about his political accomplishments, nothing about his interest in archaeology (I misunderstood the assignment 😭😭). The real one is on my school Chromebook, but I copied it onto my personal laptop. I copied EVERY single detail, from capitalization, to punctuation (there are obviously errors, but I was in fourth grade, I didn't know).

Link:

(if this link doesn't work for some reason, let me know).

So basically, Thomas Jefferson was responsible for my interest in history, more specifically U.S history.

and I thank him for that.

As for my encounter of Franklin Pierce, I genuinely forgot when I first discovered him. But I know it was in 2020. When I first saw this portrait:

I thought "He's kinda cute 😳😳😳" (I never had a crush on bro, I just thought he was good looking. I am NOT attracted to Pierce romantically or smeggually, but I understand why others would be). Then I just didn't do any research about him until early-mid 2023 for some odd reason (I only knew that he was the 14th president and that one of his children died in a horrific train accident). And uhhh yeah. Also did you know that I have a WHOLE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IN MY HEAD THAT INVOLVES THE PRESIDENTS THAT I'VE KEPT IN MY MIND SINCE AUGUST OF 2020????? If you wanna know more about that, let me know. 😈😈😈😈

I'm so sorry for the yapping session... 😭

[djevelbl]

I feel like explaining how Branzy's mannerisms look like in my head is SO. HARD bc he feels like SUCH a peculiar and specific type of person, that even if I TRIED there wouldn't be a fully correct way to string words together to paint the picture. But fuck it we ball — lemme try anyway

(ofc, I'm here talking about his character and personality as he portrays himself in his videos; the same goes for any other youtuber I namedrop as I'm yapping. I don't feel like I have to clarify this, but still. covering my own ass out here, media literacy, yadda yadda, you get it)

In the LifeSteal videos I've watched where he participates/is the main focus of (the Heart Factory + Amusement Park saga mostly, so not a lot lol) he has this... This showmanship, this stage presence, like he's standing alone on the stage floor, the spotlight's on him and the little earpiece hung on him has told him "it's showtime." It's like he's the opening number for the Broadway Musical you came to watch, like he's the circus master of the show; he's all you can focus on once he starts talking, really: he's hilarious and charismatic, disarming with that devilish charm of his, that has endeared him to the deadliest player of the server — even if you never see his face, you can hear his smile every time he talks.

For having been on a Minecraft server that prides itself in death, destruction and preying on players' insecurities before shaking hands on a good season played, Branzy wears his emotions very plainly in how he speaks: he doesn't hide his fear, or his amazement, his excitement, his bloodlust. It's how he is, of course — hiding who you are is hard, but Branzy also plays this all up in his favor: faking his reactions when necessary, blatantly able to disregard his current emotional state to match the attitude of those around him (main example being him matching Clown's attitude even through his own fear of the guy), being able to lie through his teeth about pretty important things (like the state of Carnival Mode to Squiddo at the end of season 5), and others.

His poker face is a smile — all crow's feet and charming show of teeth, something happy and elated as he shows his newest killing contraption and explains it out to his soon-to-be victims. And they fall for it hook, line, sinker. A practiced dance everyone follows Branzy's lead in, subconsciously or otherwise. Because how deadly can it be if it's Branzy who made it?

Not just that, but he's very energetic and has a brand of attitude and sass that kinda reminds me of JT Music in The Details in the Devil (stay with me. I SWEAR this makes sense) — it's the over-the-top singing, the way he goes from a higher pitch to a lower one, the way JT Music's voice rasps around the edges; it all has the same vibe and attitude to me as Branzy's showman persona: all glamour for the camera, a big smile to attract new clientele, charm that oozes out of every pore and you don't even notice that it's a deal with the devil you're making. Until he's gone and you're left to pick up the pieces — even then, sometimes you just don't. notice.

A maybe (hopefully) easier to picture example

To me, in a sense, Branzy feels like the in-between missing link of AM from I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream and Caine from The Amazing Digital Circus: all the bloodlust, anger, and sadistic tendencies from AM, and all the genuine, kind, goofy showmaster personality of Caine — a weird combo, for sure, but Caine is already based off of AM so like, thought it was as appropriate of a comparison I could make; especially bc Caine is a ringmaster, and Branzy does give ringmaster vibes to me so idk

Ofc, this is him at his peak, in his element, where he controls the playing chips — he's playing 4D chess and everyone's using checkers pieces. This is him gathering and casually using the power and influence he lords over the server — I mean, have you seen how ppl react to his mere appearance?? People love him, that's where he thrives: where people have an attachment to Branzy, Branzy has power; people kept coming back to the rollercoaster bc it was fun and a challenge and bc it was Branzy who made it — throw the credit onto Clown, ManePear, FlameFrags, any other pvp-skilled player, and watch as people run the other way. Branzy is the perfect combo of charismatic, charming, boyfailure-coded, somehow still competent, and fun to amass server-wide cred that wouldn't be broken no matter how many lives he claims via his machinery.

Clown is dangerous, sure — he's good at pvp and intimidating, he can do his fair share of manipulation when needed, but he's ultimately relatively easy to avoid: he follows a set of rules and while he doesn't vocalize them, if you observe him enough you'll eventually learn them. You'll eventually understand what the triggers are, which convo topics are best to avoid and how to best gain favor with him.

Branzy, though? He's very much a loose canon — beyond keeping his good relationship with Clown for protection (and bc he cares, let's be honest here) and whatever he deems fun today, I doubt he cares about much else; these two things are THE. MOST important to him, and there's little you can personally do to control either, if anything at all.

Branzy is SO interesting to me bc he's outwardly all smiles, happy-go-lucky in a sense and a coward — everyone knows this, it ain't no secret, and if it ever was meant to be we've left that station SEVERAL seasons ago. Yet inside there's a raging beast that begs to be released — the only reason we don't see it too often is LITERALLY bc Branzy is HORRIBLE at pvp; we STILL see it though: in how he encourages people to keep trying his deadly park rides, how he dangles prizes in front of their faces so sweetly and so casually so they keep coming back. In how he doesn't hesitate to betray his team so he can gain favor with Clown, a character he believes will be a bigger protection than his team was beforehand. In how he didn't even bat an eye as he bold-face lied to Squiddo about Carnival Mode being broken when it was most beneficial for Clown for it to "be broken". In how he casually makes a bragging joke about having easily killed two of the strongest players without lifting a finger to battle, because they wanted to play his carnival games.

Branzy has two loyalties: first to Clown and second to himself. Everyone else be damned

So coming back to the mannerisms thing — in my head he's extra extra: I'm talking "dangled upside down from a tree branch to scare someone as he introduced them all to the Chicken Launchers" type of extra, I'm talking "he did a handstand on the rollercoaster cart (with his elytra on, he isn't stupid I swear) as it jumped over the tiny lava pit to introduce people to the attraction" type of extra, I'm talking "he designed a mechanical crossbow he could wear on his arm so he could shoot the door locking mechanism trigger at the bigtop tent the most dramatic way possible" type of extra. He's a theater kid at heart, I just know it — he's dramatic and extra and so fun, so of course he'd have fun with it all! He's an adrenaline junkie (honestly? Why else is he still a sucker for Clown?? Adrenaline junkie + that's his work bf) and he will do a dramatic full split in front of Fleshy's to introduce people to the food stand and you cannot change my mind

So. Yea! In my head Branzy's mannerisms are a combo of showman enthusiasm, theater kid dramatics, acrobatics fueled by his adrenaline junkie ways, and random rubberhose-like body movements that are uncanny on like. an ACTUAL normal human body bc he reminds me of Bendy and I. Don't know. How else. To cope with it, so deal with it.

[hers-underwraps]

AUSTRALIAN OUTBACK ADVENTURE!!

Octoreview time + talk about Koshi!

Watching this episode was awesome, got to see my favourite sisters in action in AUSTRALIA (YEAH)

Like first of all genuinely love the way Octonauts represent the creatures in the countries they visit. I honestly loved seeing all the Australian outback creatures and it wasn't giving the "down under" parody vibe that media usually presents Australia with. So um slay meomi?

I genuinely loved the way these two interacted with each other. They're so expressive and silly throughout the episode.

Dashi getting so excited over the Kangaroo was so funny and a core memory moment. It's such an Australian thing to get overly excited when seeing a kangaroo even though we see them in out backyard like every day. We're always "OMG GUYS LOOK IT'S A KANGAROO" and the Joey excitement is so real.

(Lowkey reminds me of the time our science teacher had a Joey he was fostering and it came into our science class and just chilled the entire time)

ANYWAYS GETTING A LITTLE SIDETRACKED BUT JUST HAD TO GUSH A LITTLE BIT.

I just love to see my girls winning ya'know?

They were pretty independent throughout the episode (apart from when the guys back at the Octopod were checking in) and it's nice to see them being able to use their own skills and knowledge without outside support

*literally, me watching Koshi and Dashi in this episode*

ALSO -> Not Koshi stealing Barncles thunder. Bro was probably like girl, you stole my most iconic line you can't just do that. Like he was so taken aback I just giggled. (Koshi being a little smartass is always so amusing to see though)

Since there was a heavy Koshi focus in this episode I just want to say I adore her as a character (no not just because she's Dashis sister).

I love how overly excited she gets, I love her insights and I love the sibling relationship she has with Dashi.

(Just look at how excited she gets with the octo-watch. The gasp and shaking with excitement oh my gosh it was so cute)

She genuinely admires her sister so much and she constantly shows her admiration and support throughout the whole series. The mystery sisters series she writes is just so adorable, she constantly gushes about how cool her sister's job is and how she aspires to be an Octonaut is so heartwarming. Especially since there are some unhealthy sibling relationships on the show (*coughs* pinto) and since I love the relationship I have with my sisters I really enjoy seeing it in these two!

Also, I appreciate how this Octo-watch was well deserved. Unlike some of the other jnr octoagents Koshi genuinely makes positive and helpful contributions to the team. She's still and child and sometimes gets distracted yapping but she can be a vital part of the team instead of a liability.

(Like just look at how happy everyone is for her!)

Also, the fact the she wanted to make her sister round like *tears in my eyes* gosh I love her.

Gotta love my dawgs <3

Anyways thanks for reading!

[uvonobu]

Some thoughts abt the new chapters cause they come out soon and I’m gonna die

(Not predictions, just me yapping)

okay dawg. So we all know the phantom troupe members are almost DEFINITELY gonna die. So I’m gonna yap abt what I need to see from them before they die bc if they all die stupid anti climatic deaths I’m gonna CRASH OUT

So I’ve known Shizuku and Nobunaga were gonna die from the start. With Shizuku, I’ve prepared myself for her death. So I won’t crash out THAT bad. Though, I really hope we get some dialogue about why she joined the troupe. I’m calling it right now, it’s gonna be that she joined the troupe because she wanted meteor city reforms but the useless fucking village elders don’t do shit so joined the only group that had actually made changes in meteor city. Yes, she knew what she was getting into, and yes, she knows they aren’t heroes. But their influence is super important to meteor city and I think it’d also be a good way to show the troupe’s relationship with the meteorians in a way that doesn’t feel forced. Plus it’d also flesh out Shizuku’s character more. Two birds with one stone pls hear my cries Togashi pleas

With Nobunaga, I’ve also accepted his death. Though there are certain things I need to see before he dies to be fully okay with it. For example, seeing his hatsu. If he dies without us seeing his hatsu, I’m crashing out. Actually, yk what’s worse? If we see his hatsu and it’s FUCKING STUPID. LIKE. DAWG. WE’VE WAITED YEARS TO SEE NOBUNAGA’S HASTU AND UR GONNA TELL ME ITS SRSLY SOME DUMB ASS SHIT. BRO. I KNOW HES AN ENHANCER BUT CMON…. I’ll forgive both of these things if Nobunaga gets to talk or think about Uvo one last time before his death. You guys know how I am…. Rrrrr… uvonaga….. but overall, if he dies in an anticlimactic way at the hands of hisoka I wont crash out THAT bad. I’ll be annoyed, but I could handle it

Now…. There’s a theory going around that Nobunaga might go by himself to fight Kurapika if he learns he’s on the boat. And I’m not here to talk about the logistics of that, but if that DOES happen, ohbmy god. Nobunaga straying from their mission to kill Hisoka so he can kill the chain user would be SO . OH MY GOD. It would be so selfish. But oh my god, it would be so good… it would really show how strong their bond really was. Nobunaga dying for Uvo genuinely might make throw up I’m getting nauseous thinking about it god that would be such a perfect way to end their story imgonnadie

Okay sorry moving on . If Bono’s gonna die PLEASE make it later down the line. Pls . I cannot handle his death vro. I mean, like… I’ll understand if he DOES die but I won’t be happy abt it…. We just need some more time with him pls Togashi pls… let the readers form an attachment to him first…. PLEADHHRHEJKSK all I’m asking for with Bono is more time and more dialogue thats all I want

Machi was already set to die. It’s so crazy, but Togashi wanted to kill her off when Hisoka woke up. She’s basically living on overtime right now, she was NOT meant to live this long. So I can’t really be that mad if she does die cause he was already being generous in giving us more time with her

Okay so I actually will not be crashing out if Phinks dies . Like at all. Sorry Phinks I love you but your death would be SO interesting. God, can you imagine Feitan’s reaction to that? I need to see it so bad. I’ll be super sad if he dies but I’ll also be excited because it’ll open the door to so many interesting paths to take the phantom troupe with

Feitan will probably be one of the last to die so I will probably be numb by then. I’ll probably cry cause he’ll die with all his friends gone and he wasn’t able to protect them and that’s rlly sad to think abt so I won’t be crashing out per say but I’ll definitely be depressed

So. With all the other members, I had been thinking about their deaths since I started rewatching hxh. But. It only recently occurred to me that Franklin might die. And !!! I will be brutally murdering all of you😄😄😁 I will kill everyone on tumblr I will kill everyone on TikTok I will definitely kill everyone on twitter and I will kill everyone I know irl you guys will see me on the news for mass murder I will GENUINELY crash out none of you will be safe from my wrath I will have unprecedented levels of pure rage in my system and I will be doing nothing but screaming in agony for multiple days on end you guys will unfortunately have to deal with my posts about her death for at least two weeks straight I will not be nice about this I will grab a gun and air out this fuckass app in memory of Franklin she means so much to me I will cry so hard I will NOT be okay

And Chrollo’s just not dying. I FULLY believe that Hisoka will just leave Chrollo alone after killing all the spiders. Why? Because it’d be so unspeakably cruel. And it would fit the narrative themes so well. I think Chrollo losing his nen and Kurapika saying he’ll have to understand understand the grief of losing the people he loves was foreshadowing... or maybe I’m delusional… but think about how insane that would be guys I fully believe this I’m sticking with it unless I get proven wrong

And that’s all thanks for my listening to my yap sesh if Franklin dies I will livestream viral rope and chair challenge😁😁😁😁😁😁

[causeimcrayzeebee]

TETRO IS SO AMAZING OMG OMG I NEED TO KNOW ALL YOUR OPINIONSSSSSS

AHHHHH YESSS OFC ANON I LOVE YAPPING ABOUT TETRO… so um SPOILER WARNING UP TO CHAPTER 2 (to date this, the last updated episode was yanagi on thin ice)

okay first of all if it’s not obvious by now i LOVE kamimura and hasegawa. genuinely when i first watched their interviews and their prologue thing they were my favs and then i saw them first interaction in the late night talk episode (pretty sure that’s the one?) and i was absolutely locked in. they are amazing, hasegawa is so pathetic yet so capable, i love a king who has a bunch of useless ass trivia and chemistry knowledge (they’re both chem nerds and that makes me so happy auauahsjsjs). i love kamimura so much ugh his dialogue is the best lmaooo. chapter 1 almost break up arc w them made me so emo don’t even, but it’s okay cause the first episode of chapter 2 made up for it completely!!!

i think a lot of their development is gonna be kamimura learning that some people just want to help out of genuine love and care and not thinking he’s incapable, while hasegawa learns to step back sometimes bc yk boundaries and maybe even make his own??

istg they keep attacking kamimura with these motives im constantly expecting the worse to happen. it hurts having to watch him be so tired n shit and knows he needs help but also doesn’t want to have that help bc it makes him feel weak. it’s completely understandable where he’s coming from, and while i don’t have anything similar to him, i understand the want to not have to depend on help bc it just makes you feel worse. even so, hasegawa-i care about you-ken saying he wants to bc he wants to make it easier is so UAHAHSH he just loves you bro im waiting for him to say it (not) straight up. also the salvation game where they hyped each other up was the best moment in the entire fangan talk to wall.

hiroaki is one of my favs now he’s grown on me so much. the contrast of him essentially giving the closing argument & being all proud and confident about it and then him crying his eyes out talking to ojima. he’s such a good example of what this fangan has been doing great at so far, and that’s making everyone feel so human!!! im excited to see what’s next for him!

chiba’s whole motivation during chapter 2??? im gagged omfg, that fight with hama was insane she feels so much pressure to get them all out and rightfully so! i would too in her place but ugh she’s stressing herself out too much and the gas is making it 10x worse…

i think one of the themes is about strength and how bc of different traits and issues, many people are assumed to be weaker, like ojima’s ptsd and sa history, kamimura’s cataplexy and other health issues, and chiba being a smaller person in general; while all these are going to forever be apart of them, it doesn’t mean that they are incapable or weak, and they should absolutely not be treated as such. these traits bc all others can see of a person rather than seeing them as full fledged people and im so glad that this is a message the developers of tetro have been able to spread.

yeah that got pretty oops hope you were okay with this whole ass wall of yapping (and that’s not even half of my thoughts)!! tysm for the req anon i had so much fun!!!

[littlemisssatanist]

can i ask for a small favor? can you rant about daemon targaryen please? i just re-read your team green 💚 post and i'm reminded of how much ick i feel towards that character, especially in the wake of the team trailers being released.

hiii!!! tysm for this ask i was super happy when i saw it in my inbox i'm flattered people want to hear my opinions lol

my thoughts about daemon are very convoluted. i think he has the potential to be a very interesting character but it's kinda canceled out by the incest and pedophilia thing.

like. i understand it's an incest dragon show but my main issue with team black when it comes to their criticisms. they love to spout endless words about how aegon is a rapist and how alicent is a rape apologist for not... idk slitting his throat i guess.

it's really ironic to me, because these same people will turn around and then yap about how daemyra is the perfect ship. they'll be aghast when you even slightly suggest you enjoy aegon's character in any way but be in an uproar if you dare bash their dashing and roguish prince daemon.

honestly, name one terrible thing aegon did and i'll be able to give you something daemon did that is arguably worse than that.

aegon - raping a servant girl in the show (which honestly i'm treating more as a fanfiction considering how terribly written both the greens and the blacks are).

daemon - uhmmmm probably the whole thing with nettles. you know. the sixteen year old girl he groomed and raped (yes raped because minors aren't able to consent). actually, now that i think of it, he did the exact same thing with rhaenyra too, huh? or does team black find the whole fleabottom episode to be hot and rhaenyra being sexually free? that seems like the sort of thing they'd take from that whole fiasco.

on the topic of blood & cheese: the way some people defend this is honestly sickening.

'but poor luke was killed by his terrible uncle aemond' he was an envoy of war (not to aemond, btw, he owed him no safe haven) and also he kinda. yk. took out his eye. i'm not saying luke deserved to die, but i'm going to be honest this is one of the more mild things that happened during the dance.

whether luke deserved to die (which i'd like to reiterate: i do not think he did. i can understand WHY aemond killed him, but that is not me EXCUSING him. this is for those of you who don't know how to read and will inevitably find a way to start putting words in my mouth) b&c is completely unexcusable.

it's team feminism until its a woman who doesn't fit your little box of badass hottie. it's team feminism until that woman doesn't bow down to rhae-rhae and betray her own family and children in order to join the 'good side.' it's team woman until you point out that rhaenyra was groomed by daemon and continues to make decisions that are decidedly anti-feminist.

this is why i can't stand team black stans who say things like 'i hate the greens except for helaena bc she didn't do anything wrong' because you quite literally cannot do that without admitting that helaena suffered because of the blacks NOT the greens.

helaena suffered bc of DAEMON not because of any actions taken by the greens. DAEMON was the one who orchestrated b&c, the one who sent men to terrorize her and kill her children.

daemon did that.

i have no problem with people who can admit that their faves have flaws. i admit aemond's flaws, daeron's flaws, aegon's flaws. the problem i have with daemon is that his stans are so insufferably annoying and they literally cannot do any of that.

my last thought about daemon (at the moment, at least) is his relationship with strong boys.

lots of tb likes to say that daemon loved those boys like his own and would never do anything to hurt them. and i... honestly find it a little strange, and also a little embarassing, because how am i going to have a better grasp on his character than those that love him most???

i genuinely believe that daemon, had rhaenyra ascended to the throne like viserys planned, he would have caused 'unfortunate accidents' for the strong boys in order to get his blood on the throne. which, btw, was one of the main reasons viserys named rhaenyra heir, to keep daemon from sitting on the throne.

i think it the succession crisis had been between daemon and rhaenyra instead, it would have been a much more interesting storyline.

then again grrm isn't that good at writing interesting storylines when it comes to daemon considering he's a self-insert. honestly i wouldn't be surprised if when he died it was found out that grrm had a fanfiction written somewhere where daemon survived the fight with aemond and got to live out the rest of his boring ass life grooming little girls. who knows.

[usachxxn]

heyy!!! I love your art and literally everything you post :DD wanted to ask, what are some of your favorite Ninjago head cannons and why? (can be anything) I love yaps and am very interested to hear what you have to say!

Tysm for enjoying my art 🥹😭😭

As for some of my favorite headcannons I have a very big list but I’ll try to list one for each character!

Lloyd: as much as he learned about leading from both Wu and Garmadon the first to really teach him the ropes was Cole! Being the previous leader he’s already well aware of each of his teammates strength and weaknesses and what to do in a pinch. So whenever Lloyd’s stumped on a decision he’ll usually turn to him first or think what he might do.

Nya: while Kai has more the reputation for being a hothead I do think Nya’s temper is probably worse. She gets frustrated over small things easily and it doesn’t take much before she blows up. Despite this though she does get over things quicker than Kai does and will begrudgingly apologize.

Kai: compared to the other ninja I do think he didn’t learn to fully read and write until after taken under Wu’s wing. This is mainly because he didn’t have the chance to attend school, having to take over the forge and watch over Nya. While he’s extremely embarrassed about this the others are quick to understand and try not to make him feel bad about it. Nya especially feels guilty about it and apologizes for it a lot, yet Kai assures her being able to raise and take care of her is his greatest accomplishment to date.

Jay: he’s very much the spitting image of both of his parents, he has Libbers smile and Cliff’s eyes. He laughs the same way his mom does and the way he presents his showmanship is exactly like his dad. This is a fact however only Wu really knows.

Cole: one of my absolute fav hcs is he gets his moles from his mom! Something about him growing up to look just like her makes me want to keel over, I don’t talk about it enough but Cole and Lilly are so 😭😭 to me (<— normal about characters with dead moms)

Zane: less of a hc and much more aligned to canon but this robot can fit so much self sacrifice in him. Something about the knowledge that you can be rebuilt over and over again compared to your companions who are made of flesh and blood. There’s probably a ship of Theseus metaphor in here too somewhere.

Thank you so much for the interests in my hcs though 😭😭 I fear that my yapping comes across as annoying but knowing they’re are people out there who enjoy them genuinely makes me so happy 🥹

[yaboirezzy]

Alright, here's an explanation (post version):

So this is something I wouldn't usually say publicly because I don't really like telling and sharing my personal stuff online, especially on social places like tumblr or others because of how people usually react to someone feeling or saying anything about themselves. Also because I rather vent stuff in rather than bothering everyone close to me online about it. But I feel like making an exception just this once because this is actually about my tumblr blog.

So on my blog I've been doing all kinds of stuff over the past few years, artworks (both digital and traditional), text post, memes, incorrect quotes, and so on. And don't get me wrong I enjoyed it, I was happy with it, but in recent times I really feel like I've done nothing but make some low effort garbage that people only viewed or liked out of pity and nothing else. I feel like I've slowly changed from a someone eager to share their love and interest for their favorite fandoms to an annoying little shithead that won't stop yapping about anything (be it headcanons, AUs, ships) regarding their fandoms.

Especially when the stuff they waffle about aren't even as good as to what other people do. Artwork? everyone else had done better artwork of their favorite hyperfixations, character fanart, ship fanart, you name it? then it's guaranteed that everyone else done it better. Text post? everyone has made ones that are much better than mine, some even I based or took inspiration from (which is pretty much stealing I think). Memes or meme redraws? again mine looks like something out of the early 2000s compared to others. Incorrect quotes? god I can't believe that these are what I started with and are what 90% of my blog is about, yet I can't even get them right or being good at least. And those are just the basics, picture this people usually make artwork to show their love towards something they like and usually show others why they like or spread the popularity of their favorite thing, well guess who fucking sucks at that aspect as well? Showing my love towards my favorite fandom though artwork or text or quotes? awful at it, you would think I was young kid who just got introduced to them, trying to increase the popularity of an otherwise underrated or unknown fandom of mine? suck at it, just showing an image of them would've done a better job promoting each series, what about trying to seem like an active fan and participating in trends or events within the fandom? well me not being able to follow an 'art week' thing and being late to a redraw trend should be a clear sign as to how that goes.

And that's the reason why I wanna end myself I've been feeling so terrible about myself lately, I feel like trash about not being able to do the stuff I wanted to do whether it's artwork, text post, or even interacting with others.

In terms of artwork and meme redraws I just wanna see my vision come to life be that in the artstyle, the position/posing, or look/quality, but I can't due to limitations and whatnot. That's why I'm always eager to see art from others, but I know everyone's got other things to worry about, it's also why I feel like an absolute leecher whenever I ask or even request any of my artist mutuals anything their art is so much better than mine and I hate how I couldn't even mimick a fraction of their quality. It just makes me feel sick that I considered myself the same to them, I have done nothing worthy like them yet I always try to fit in as an 'artist' among actual real ones.

In terms of text post and incorrect quotes, I don't even know why any of you liked those, or even reblogging them. I've seen people put genuine care and effort into their headcanons, AUs, fanfics, even incorrect quotes and yet here I am saying the dumbest ideas and thoughts ever. Not only are they so bad, so low effort, and so braindead to read for any rational human being, but they are just so not funny, like at all like please fucking make it stop, I mean from what you'd probably seen on others you'd at least expect me to be another one of those it's so bad it's funny kind of stuff, but no, I just keep making dishwasher slop over and over and people are liking them, why? why are you all doing this to yourselves? you'd have a better time watching the series my stuff is about than liking and reblogging it.

Again, this is really something I've kept hidden and I've only now talked about with one of my mutuals, but I feel the need to make this just so I can say from the bottom of my heart:

I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything I've said. I'm sorry for everything I've done, I don't care if they're good, bad, neutral, or means nothing at all. I'm sorry I couldn't done more or better. I'm sorry to all my mutuals and friends. I'm sorry that I'm broken, I couldn't be fixed. I'm just...I'm sorry that I exist here.

Please just let me be in pain alone...

[pathologicalreid]

„i'm trying to come to terms with the fact that people will not like how this part goes…“

Excuse me? What is there to dislike?

So first of all I‘m so happy that this kind of confrontation finally happened and Reader being able to, rightfully, throw their feelings at Spencer!

Also I really liked Spencer first coming up with JJ being married and her children instead of not wanting someone else than Reader because I do believe that it’s just plain realistic, even if it hurts hearing that as the first reasons to why he wouldn’t go after JJ.

I truly believe him that he doesn‘t want JJ though!

Also really love how considerate Reader is, not using the word crazy, reassuring him he‘s not a violent person, it just makes it all so raw

Now he still hasn’t answered what his truth would have been and I have several ideas but one is more hurtful than the other and I‘m just excited to see what you‘ll make out of it, if it is brought up again ofc!

So he finally proposed and wanted to do so for a year, now I hope that’s true and not some lie, even though I think he wouldn’t lie to Reader especially after that confrontation but you never know.

I dread the confrontation between JJ and Reader a little more, it could end well, it could end bad all I know it‘ll hurt real good!

Anyways sorry for yapping what I wanted to say is that every chapter is truly written so so good and I love this series a lot! Thought about this concept from time to time but never really found it written until you and I love it so so much, thank you for sharing this with us!! <3

i keep getting called out for my author's note on that part and i think my problem was i had just been staring at it for so long that i started to despise it + i genuinely didn't realize that many people actually read my author's notes so thats on me

i'm bored at work so let's break this down!

i'm glad you liked the confrontation! at first, this part wasnt going to even exist! i was going to go straight from "awakenings" to the next part but i knew how i wanted the story to end and i knew i wouldn't get there if i didn't let reader speak her mind

i feel like the first thing people think of when it comes to cheating is the other person, so it's not necessarily a case of that's the first thing he thought of it's more of a case of oh, her poor husband type of thing

it would have been so easy for reader to call spencer crazy/insane and just ignore his feelings after the police showed up but i like to think the fact that she took a step back and made sure he was alright really speaks to the love the two of them have for each other

we'll find out his truth soon! i think a lot of people are leaning toward thinking the worst of him and that's not it. it's more akin to reader's truth and less "yeah actually i am in love with your sister" because 1. i am jeid's biggest hater and 2. you will never catch me breaking up the lamontagne family

the confrontation between the sisters is so good. i'm so excited for people to read it.

don't apologize for yapping!!! i love a good yap sesh, my inbox is always open for a chat!! i <33

[quijabored]

Spoilers for S4 and first 2 episodes of S5

Im gonna try to not make this very long because I'm going through a what the fuck moment and I do not know how to process this :D (Finished the second episode and immediately went to Tumblr)

(Spoilers, this is very long ✌️)

With that being said

WHAT THE FUCK???

OKAY UH, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START CUZ LIKE

AAAAAA????

OKAY

OKAY UH

KENJI

HES BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH, GOT STABBED THROUGH THE STOMACH TWICE AND THEN GOT JUST HORRENDOUSLY HURT

LIKE MY POOR BOY

YOSANOS BACKSTORY?? I LOVE IT SO MUCH HOLY SHIT

I HATE MORI SO MUCH

And with my undying hatred for Mori, I can also say he seems incredibly interesting.

I hate that I want to know more about him and I absolutely will, BUT FUCK

Then there was the Agency being split us and-

AAGGHHH IM CRYINGGGG

Not actually, but God damn it I was on the verge of sobbing so many times-

I love this series so much but how the fuck am I supposed to process this-??

ALSO TACHIHARA BEING THE FIFTH GUY LIKE??? AAAA???

I actually hate Fyodor so much oh my god (I want him)

SPEAKING OF FYODOR

SIGMA????

I MET HIM AND LIKE HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY I LOVE HOW DESPERSTE HE IS AND I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE 3 YEARS OLD THING AND JUST AKSKDHJS

ALSO

ATSUSHI HELPING OUT YET ANOTHER PERSON JS LIKE HE DID TO KYOKA?? LIVE LAUGH ATSUSHI BRO HES SO SILLY

AND THEN WHEN HE WAS FALLING OFF THE SKY CASINO I WAS SITTING THERE LIKE WHAT THE FUCK??

I KNEW HE SHOWED UP LATER CUZ OF CLIPS BUT FOR SOME REASON IT JS DIDNT PROCESS AND I WAS GENUINELY ABOUT TO CRY

And then Nikolai saved him :D

LIVE LAUGH NIKOLAI BRO HES SO SILLY

Hes just like me fr except I'm not a Ukranian terrorist :3

ALSO I LOVE TACHIHARA SO MUCH I JUST AAAGHHHHH

JOUNOS KIND OF A BITCH (Ive already signed the adoption papers, I love him so much he seems really interesting-)

AND MY BBG TETCHOU???

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE SEEMS SO SILLY AND EVEN IF HE HASNT HAD MUCH SCREEN TIME I JUST AAAGHHHH

Also fuck Fukuchi

LIKE I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST A SILLY GUY

"Now I just have to hope no one becomes a character I absolutely despise :3"

YEAH NO I WAS WRONG CUZ WTF

And then during the whole scene where he was talking with Ranpo and he was like "the president trusts you, so do I."

AT THAT POINT IT KINDA CLICKED AND I WAS LIKE "Oh shit its Fukuchi isnt it."

BUT THEN I HAD NOTHING TO GO OFF OF AND I DIDNT WANNA SIT AND THINK IN THE MIDDLE OF A VERY IMPORTANT EPISODE

OH BEFORE I START YAPPING ABOUT THAT

RANPO JUST ABSOLUTELY SAVING EVERYONE??? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOD HE JUST LIKE ME FR

AAAAAA AND THEN THE WAY HE TALKS ABOUT FUKUZAWA LIKE AAGHH THEYRE FAMILY :(

AAAA AND THEN POE BEING THERE LIKE AKSHAKJDS SEEING MY SON IN A SUIT WAS SO SILLY ITS LIKE WATCHING YOUR CHILDREN GO OFF TO PROM OR A WEDDING I THINK-

AND THEN POE BEING SUPER HAPPY ABOUT HELPING AND RANPO PUSHING HIM ASIDE PLEASE I LOVE THEM

ANYWAYS BACK TO FUKUCHI

THEN RANPO STARTED EXPLAINING ALL THE EVIDENCE AND I SAT THERE AND I WAS TRYING SO DAMN HARD TO BE LIKE "Pshhhh- No waayy Fukuchis actually a really really really bad person right??"

AND THEN HE WAS

I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH (I dont I love this show it has been my hyperfixation for so long please help I have dreams about bsd this is just like my Danganronpa phase oh dear god-)

AAAAA NO BUT GOD DAMN IT I NEED TO STAB FUKUCHI

ITS REALLY WEIRD CUZ I LIVE LAUGH FYODOR BUT FUKUCHI JUST MAKES ME UPSET

If he doesnt have a good motive Im actually crying, though I get that not all characters are supposed to be redeemable, I just got really attached to Fukuchi really fast and seeing him yap was super silly :(

Fyodor works a lot differently than Fukuchi and I really really do love Fyodor-

Also Nikolai saying he's gonna kill Fyodor? Genuinely wonder if he's even capable of that cuz his ability is able to catch you off guard, but Fyodors such an incredibly silly guy and I wouldn't be surprised if he was able to stop anything from Nikolai

Not only an assassination attempt (Even though I doubt Nikolai would get very far with that-) legit something as simple as trying to scare him-

Also Fyodor understanding Nikolai? Dear gods I love them so much they make me wanna tear out my soul-

Making a little fanart for them and while I'm not sure if I'm actually gonna share it, they are very adorable in their own odd way

Back to the casino scenes, while I absolutely adore Tetchou and Jouno, TEROKUS JUST SO SILLY

PLEASE I LOVE HER SO MUCH I HOPE WE GET TO SEE MORE OF HER EVWN IF SHE DOESNT SEEM VERY RELIVANT TO THE PLOT WHERE IM AT RN

AAAAAA ALSO, S5 EP2 ENDS WITH AKUTAGAWA BEING ON THE SHIP AND AHDKAHSKS

SHIN SOUKOKU CANON EVERYONE

I HAVE BEEN DESPERATELY STARVED OF AKUTAGAWA CONTENT FOR A LITTLE BIT SO SEEING HIM MAKES ME SO HAPPY

AND SEEING HIM WITH ATSUSHI??? EVEN HAPPIER, I KNOW THEYRE GONNA DO A BIG FIGHT TOGETHER AND ITS LIKE AAAA THEYRE WORKING TOGETHER WILLINGLY NOW!! (Kiiind of)

LIVE LAUGH LOVE BSD BUT DEAR GOD ITS MAKING ME GO INSANE

AND BEFORE I FORGET YET AGAIN, I LOVE SEEING ODASAKU MEAN SO MUCH TO DAZAI AND ANGO LIKE AHHHH THIS SERIES MAKES ME SO UPSET IN A GOOD WAY

AND MUSHITARO MAKES ME GO YIPPEE PLEASE I LOVE HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH

ALSO DAZAI BEING ABLE TO CONTROL HIS HEARTBEAT?? WHAT CAN HE *NOT* DO????

And why the fuck does the sky casino look like a beyblade like I love him but someone's gotta get him into an exterior design class

THE INTERIOR DESIGN THOUGH, PLEASE I LOVE IT ITS SO BRETTY LIKE LET ME GO THERE

Just searched up Beyblade to make sure I got the spelling right and what do you mean there's a hello kitty beyblade give it to me

Also Sigma just panicking for half the episode is so fucking relatable

OH ALSO

THE WAY HOW HE SEEMS SO DEVOTED AND LOYAL TO THE SKY CASINO?? I LOVE HIM HE MAKES ME SO SAD

I can't remember if I already mentioned I have adopted him but I have ✌️

He's so silly after I finish my Akutagawa and Fyodor obsession plus actually finish the story (or at least whats written right now) I'm focusing entirely on him

Okay maybe my Aku and Fyodor obsession won't ever subside but if it doesn't I'm making space for him in there-

Live laugh Nikolai I know I haven't mentioned him too much but he's such a silly character and he makes me happy-

AAAA ALSO FUKUCHI HAVING THE PAGE LIKE IM GONNA EAT THAT DAMN PAPER JUST LET THE ADA LIVE IN PEACE-

ALSO GOT SO SCARED WHEN GIN WAS STABBED, GENUINELY THOUGHT SHE WASNT GONNA MAKE IT

Okay I think that's enough yapping for today, might watch another episode might not, but either ways I'm dreaming about it again ✌️

ALSO WHEN I SWITCH TO THE MANGA SINCE S6 ISNT THERE CUZ YK NOT MUCH CONTENT TO WORK OFF OF YET, IM GONNA BE FROTHING AT THE MOUTH EVERY DAMN MONTH FOR NEW BSD CHAPTERS

AHHH I HEARD THAT THERES A NEW CHAPTER RELEASED AROUND EVERY MONTH AND ITS LIKE YK WHAT GET THAT COIN ASAGIRI, ILL WAIT AS LONG AS I NEED

Okay kinda unrelated but I love lucid dreaming so much like what do you mean I can bend reality at my will to make an episode of bsd that shows Fyolai being canon and adopting 3 cats

GOD I CANT WAIT TO BUY THE MANGA (I have to actually save up tho so I gotta wait a bit longer ✌️)

I know I could just find pdf files online but I js really really like reading physically so uh ill get to pdf reading when I get desperate 😋

[weirdestarrow]

So I thought about what we talked about in my post, and here are some things about the general fandom's interpretation of North Korea that I don't (personally) like... Some of them might fit with the general ~evil NK thing~ but yeah! :3

Sorry if it's a bit messy, its a little bit of word vomit haha.

- Nuke obsession? Just very strange considering that characters like Russia or the USA aren't portrayed as also nuke obsessed as well even though... You know, the number of them they have;

- Angry all the time. It's just strange. Not only that, but also some things that people make him get angry over seem kind of reasonable (hating the country who bombed his own nation to the ground and also strangely a big amount of him in fics and art getting manhandled?);

- Poorly written English to... Denote he is not Anglo. Which a lot of times just comes off as very racist;

- The classic brainwashed by government thing so many countries fall into lol. But knowing how people treat real life N. Koreans as just actors hired by the government to trick the foreihners, it just feels especially dehumanizing with him;

- And if its not that it's "oh I secretly hate my government but they will not let me be happy :'''(". Let countries align with political opinions out of their own free will!;

- "Hermit Kingdom" shit. Is the DPRK kind of isolated from the rest of the world? Yeah. Do you think they'd do that if they didn't have to? Why do we so quickly forget embargos and the whole "the US will topple your government if they can" thing?;

- NK is sometimes depicted as very naive about the outside world, but I personally don't enjoy that characterization much. They treat him like an injured deer who cannot navigate the world by himself, for a lack of better words;

- This is going to be more my own petty grievance but I'm not too big of a fan of "the ussr was the one who took NK's eye". I like the eyepatch thing but like... The USSR and NK had a good relationship it's so unnecessarily made to paint it in as much a horrible light as physically possible;

- In general, people don't really depict him outside of the military man thing or "woe is me stuck in a dictatorship ;(". It does seem as an extension of real world politics were people just don't believe that North Koreans are real breathing human beings with things going on besides their relationship with their country. I made it so that my version of NK really likes literature, even writes a little himself :D.

Honestly I think the way this could be remedied really is looking at sources outside of what the West says and like... Radio Free Asia lmao. You will have to look for the perspective of actual North Koreans. I understand the aversion to seeking their sources, but honestly if you can read a BBC or Washington Post article about NK, you can take a quick glance at like KCNA or Pyongyang Times and judge accordingly.

And, actually media from the DPRK is not that hard to find! There are movies available online, as well as songs and pictures. I do all three, and its very cool stuff :3. I'm very willing to share! ^_^ As always, learn more about the history and culture from a genuinely curious, non-judgemental manner and you will always be able to learn more.

As you can see from my endless yapping, I just really like North Korea and wish people would be less obviously biased when making him (or her or them, depending on the headcanon). Yeah, thank you for your time! :]

Yes this is very good.

My NK is a bit of an introvert. I think he’s interested in geology and volcanology because of Paektu Mountain and that’s something he really loves studying. He’s very gentle and soft spoken and wants to do his best for his people. He cares about them deeply and he would put their wants over his over and over again.

I think he often feels like he is seen as the “extra” Korea that no one likes, but he’s not eager to try and make friends with other countries. I think he also doesn’t like leaving his country cause he’s nervous about being in countries unfriendly to NK, afraid that someone might try and assassinate him to give SK more legitimate claims to his land.

He cares about SK in a weird way, but is also jealous because people like SK and SK got to meet their mother and he didn’t. I think he feels like he was abandoned almost.

[sconeflowers]

Overexplaining my warrior cats ocs post 1 Lavenderstar and Apolloflower

Ok so anybody that knows this woman probably has had their ear yapped off about her lore already but. Let me cook

So Lavenderstar was born in the twolegplace along with her sisters so she could have a better life among her father and her mom and her stepmom!!! But her stepmom (Fern. Her dads name is Spark Her stepmom is Fern and her mom is Bluemoon) didn’t want Bluemoon to be able to chill with her kids because Bluemoon is a notorious bitch and would probably punch one if she got too worked up about a fight. Lavender didn’t comprehend this along with her sister, Orchid, so they kinda just kept on with their mom. This is kinda what saved their lives because Spark took the other three kids to a hole somewhere and they actually just fucking died because he didn’t want Bluemoon to have them and Fern wasn’t walking all that way to tend to them. So Bluemoon comes back with her newly injured kid (Lavender is injured some mfer ran over her tail with their car, her twoleg takes her to the vet during the same appointment she’s spayed at and attempts to fix her tail up it does not work) and realizes her kids are DEAD!!!!!! So she beats the hell out of Spark and Feen shoves them both into a hole and they die so Ferns like shoot. And drops the living kids off in the woods

Lavender riverclanmaxxes and becomes Lavenderkit but she was like five moons at the time so it wasn’t long before she became an apprentice,,,, Lavenderpaw becomes friends with Asrellepaw and Apollopaw and becomes incredibly close with their family who is highly respected in Riverclan for being yknow. Cool and having a lot of cats in it be high ranks in their clan,,,, So yeah the family consists of Asrellepaw and Apollopaw and Astralblaze and Aureliashine and Atlasstar..,, continuing the overall theming of night and flowers that I love so much,,,, So Lavenderpaw is enamored by Asrellepaw and thinks she’s the most gorgeous she-cat she’s ever laid eyes on but Apollopaw is absolutely enamored with HER.,, or would be absolutely enamored with her if she was able to keep up with them trainingwise

So the combination of early spaying and bad metabolism and stress eating and kittypet diet she’s incredibly overweight for a cat her age, idk how many pounds but somewhere around 10 for a 6-7 month old cat is a little bad 😓😓😓😓 There’s a point where she refuses to get up and do anything every other week and it’s frustrating for everyone around her to see her do nothing but mope and eat for a whole day while they work,, so Apollopaw resorts to saying mean things about the lazing around and the weight gain and Lavenderpaw does nothing but cry more about it because she genuinely thinks he feels that way but!!! Asrellepaw decides to take a totally different approach and try to get her up by asking her to go do menial things like go gather moss for nests or pick flowers and that makes her happy so she starts training with Asrellepaw and is making progress until boom mic drop Atlasstar calls them to a whispery special meeting

So they go to talk to the leader and he’s like “Hey. One of the apprentices is special or something and I’m getting old so they gotta take my place and it’s definitely one of you guys” totally disregarding Bubblepaw or Willowpaw bc it’s either one of his kin or nobody. This puts an idea in Apollopaws head so he gets Asrellepaw in on it and he’s like. Let’s cook. Apollopaw listens in on wherever Astralblaze is gonna be that night and he goes out and plants some lavender sprigs right there!! In the shape of a star too! Wow!

Let me explain why he did this so Apollopaw grew up in a family where the whole point of being born is to be great and to provide for your clan. He sees being lazy and unproductive as the ultimate sin because you’re NOT providing for your clan OR yourself so what’s the point… he’s like nine moons old and he’s already being told that he might be the leader like RIGHT THEN??? He considers pawning the position off to Lavender to be the ultimate affection, since it’s basically giving up his usefulness for a chance at her to become the most useful member of the clan. It is not helpful in the slightest

Without her even being notified she is catapulted into a warriors ceremony without even being assessed and barely knowing how to hunt or fight, ushered to the moonstone under the guise of a standard procedure all by Astralblaze because Astralblaze is obsessed with the idea of being shown a prophecy after so long that it must be true and right and totally not faked by a bunch of teenagers,, she visits the dead people and they’re like “Dude. You are NOT supposed to be here. You’re like 14 what are you doing here bro” and she’s like “Whuh why am I supposed to be here” and they take a peeksy like “Atlasnight already gave up his lives to retire so I guess you’re the leader now” and she’s like “IM WHAT!!!!” AND pretty much every member of starclan refuses to give her her lives and she is completely okay with that because WHAT!!!! She returns to camp and everyone’s calling her Lavenderstar like it’s COMPLETELY NORMAL but she doesn’t correct them like “I never got lives” she’s just like “okay. Yeah. I lead these guys now. Great.”

She tries to continue her training with Asrellepaw but now she has to balance that with responsibilities she shouldn’t even have and so she barely knows how to hunt when she attends her first gathering as leader,, when she goes up on the rock the leaders are confused and tell her to get down but Astralblaze lies and says she’s a full grown adult so she can stay up there (she’s clearly not but they aren’t gonna argue with the oldest medicine cat, they just assume starclan said so) and it goes horrible because Lavender doesn’t know what to say and she stutters and can’t tell when they’re trying to insult her clan or not,,, After the gatherings over she’s stopped by Blazingstar like “I can tell you’re like 14… what r u doing up there..” and she starts crying and confessing her sins and misdeeds and he’s like “DUDE CHILL why can’t somebody take over your position” and she’s like “EVERYBODY THINKS STARCLAN SAID SO WHAHHHHUH” and he’s like “okay. I’ll take to my 400 medicine cats and see what I can do just hang tight” and so she goes home and napmaxxes

so when she sleeps that night there’s a terrible horrible dead kitten plaguing her mind and it’s one of her dead ass sisters and it can’t talk for some reason and her mom shows up and is like “ur a leader therefore you’re my favorite daughter now” and she wakes up and is like “Whuh I don’t have mommy issues I hate my mom” and gets up and sees Apollopaw chilling and he asks her if she wants to get married or something and she’s like “ok…” bc lavender and Asrellepaw haven’t spoken in four hundred years and so yeah she has a husband at 10 moons now cool

so she’s hanging out one day and sees a total loser windclan cat hanging out with a kittypet on her border and she throws herself at the windclan cat and cries in its ear for a little while until it goes away and then she goes home and is like. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. And has an existential crisis about having no real friends and then gives herself an apprentice so she’ll have a friend hi Northpaw you make me so joyous

so she’s hanging out with Northpaw and Robynpaw (Northpaws sister) on a patrol so she has an excuse to train and she’s pondering why Blazingstar hasn’t fixed her life problems yet before she runs back up on windclan cat talking to the air and she’s like “hey what’s ur name” “heh hey gorgeous my names Orchiddew” “heh my names Lavenderstar never speak to me again” “ok” “you can visit anytime you want ok” “ok” and then scatters

She eventually gets called to a meet with Blazingstar and Acetalon and Mittenpounce (the two medicine cats of thunderclan) and she comes with Astralblaze and they’re like. “Hey starclan didn’t say make a kid a leader” and Astralblaze is like “YES THEY DID!!!!” And they argue back and forth until Lavender rages and leaves and naps and her moms like “Wanna see your alive sister.” And she’s like “yeah” so Bluemoon takes her to this big dark place in the scary dream woods and there’s a bunch of dead cats and then the strange windclan cat comes out!!!!!! Woah,,,, and her mom starts getting weirdly praisey towards her and her sister (Orchid) tries to murder her and she’s like “Hey! Stop! What is half my clan doing here! Stop!” And so Orchid stops and explains “Hey dude we’re training here” and she’s like “training. Yes pls!” So she joyously prances at the chance to train and wow yeah she’s technically a criminal now

She slips into this routine of doing nothing all day besides eating and sleeping so she can go back there and train that she forgets to give Asrellepaw and Apollopaw their ceremony and Astralblaze has to very gently remind her that her deputy can’t do it for her and she’s like shoot. So she gets up on the rock like “Apolloflower Asrelleblossom see you’re beautiful flowers now let’s go” and she pulls Apolloflower into her den and explains the cool dream place and he’s like “Wow let’s go” so they snuggle and he can’t go and he takes it out on her sleeping weird or snoring or something and she’s like “Sry :(“ So while she’s snoozing he scampers over to Asrelleblossom and is like “Lavenders going to evilland at night” and Asrelleblossom is like “SHIT let’s stage an intervention” and so they do just that

They go wake up Lavenderstar with Astralblaze and they’re like “hey.” And Lavenders like “hey.” And they argue at her about how that’s bad for a cat to train there and she argues back that “hey, you guys didn’t train me so they will,,” and that makes Astralblaze MAD and he’s like “why aren’t you grateful for starclans gift…” and Apolloflowers like “why aren’t u grateful for MY gift” and Astralblaze is like “what…” and then BOOM POW GORE BIG PUFF OF SMOKE WITH FISTS POKING OUT Apolloflower jumps Astralblaze and kills the elderly and Asrelleblossom runs away and he chases after her and Lavender live tweaks out because she literally can’t do anything and the angsty kitten ghost comes back to pester her and this time it brought friends! The friends are Orchiddew

So Orchiddew is like “what the flip happened” and so she explains everything to Orchiddew and cries while doing it so Orchid puts the kitten ghost that was in her back pocket down so it’ll pester the other kitten ghost and is like “wow. Moms been spying on everyone using one of the kitten ghosts” and she’s like “WHAAAAAT “and they nap snoooork mimmiimimimiimimimimimimiimimimimim dreamland time

They arrive at dreamland and their mom is like “hi freaks I saw everything check this kitten ghost out” and it’s another kitten ghost and Lavender chokes it to death and rips its throat out all goreylike and Bluemoons like “I’m so proud of you” and they all hang out as a family until Spark descends down from religiously ambiguous heaven to scream their ear off about killing one of his kids (hypocrite) and Lavenders like “wow! These are all memories I don’t wanna remember” and goes back home like a normie

Apolloflower pulls her aside and is like “Hey. It’s my fault you’re leader.” and she forgives him and he’s like “NO YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GET MAD!!!!!!!!” And tries to kill her so she jumps him and he runs away and she gets terrified and since she doesn’t have her lives to turn in she just. Leaves. That’s actually how her story ends she just. walks off into the woods. She does end up with a yuri wife wherever she ends up though

Soo… what am I yapping about

Lavenders surrounding relationships are parallel to Orchids. Lavenders found family (Asrelleblossom, Apolloflower, Atlasnight, Aureliashine, Astralblaze) is like a way more toxic version of Orchids (Dogbite, Poppytail, Yarrowfur, Violetcloud) and her relationship with Apolloflower is supposed to be a worse version of Orchids relationship with Shrewbracken. Orchid is jealous of her sister’s incredibly worse life just because of her position in her clan. Lavender is incredibly unhappy the entire time she’s in Riverclan due to how much pressure is suddenly thrown onto her so young.

Her relationship with Apolloflower is awful, and I hate how I didn’t write more to show it. Imagine having the most stressful time imaginable and finding comfort in somebody just to find out that person is the catalyst to all your problems! Wow! YEOUCH! Apolloflowers actions were fueled by wanting her to live up to the potential he thought she had. And when she wasn’t grateful like he wanted her to be, he wanted it back. Wow I hate this guy

Lavenders motivations were really just to make people happy. Leader stepping down, well he’s old, why not let him. Take over his position? Wow. I don’t wanna do this. But it makes these people happy. Vent a Windclan cats ear off? Wow! Tell it that it can trespass whenever it wants because you feel bad! The only time she really defended her actions ended up with Astralblaze dead. Who wouldn’t be upset by that???? ☹️☹️☹️☹️

I didn’t mention it much in the summary bc I didn’t want it to seem like her only character trait but the entire time she’s training and pretty much her entire life she’s struggling from weight gain and stuff. Even after she starts physical training n stuff she doesn’t lose much weight :((( A person I’ve explained the story to in the past kinda saw it as meaning she’s a fat pushover and she is NOT A FAT PUSHOVER!!!!! STOP COMPARING HER TO CONSTANCE FROM RTC!!!!!!!!!!!

I REALLY REALLY LIKED UM. I once wrote a prompt when I was bored of Lavenderstar and Blazingstar talking about the brand new leader thing and it made me SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY 😁😁 i really don’t have much to talk about I guess this was just a lore post

sorry for yapping your ear off

[kamiversee]

Yap-sesh incoming:

Okay FIRST OF ALL HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK THAT CHAPTER WAS GOOD😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Love the “consistency” of smut in the second chapter both in tfl and ftl hehehe :3

And he really is crazy crazy like WHAT DO YOU MEEEEAN YOU WROTE DOWN THE AMOUNT OF BREATHS AND BLINKS

Also I appreciate your writing so SO much with how you made clear that Gojo’s behavior is NOT normal/romantic/good/desirable (this typa stuff gets romanized WAY too much)

And why do I kinda like Sukuna again, for calling Gojo out and telling him he’s being disgusting, I did NOT plan to find that man anything close to sympathetic anymore after tfl I’d let him ruin me any day 😭

Like why do I like him for seemingly wanting to punish Gojo for being a creep towards a woman (ik his form if punishment fucks us over literally too, but if I didn’t know that, I’d be like HELL YEAH TELL HIM [also it seems like the fuck list wasn’t his initial plan but what he came up with after Gojo refused to tell reader and Sukuna obviously read more of the diary and therefore found out which person would hurt Gojo most if reader slept with them, maybe to get Gojo off of his obsession])

Also why did I knowwwww that would be how Sukuna gets ahold of the diary the second you mentioned Gojo babysitting??? Your foreshadowing is truly divine 😌

But also WHY does he seem to need/want the money (he stopped questioning why Yuji needed a babysitter after seeing how much he’d get paid + him wanting to make sure he gets the money) I thought he was rich anyways? And why does it seem like only one person lives in the apartment if Geto and Gojo live together??

And Sukuna seeming to understand his obsession to some degree - is that directed towards that first (?) woman he hit (if I remember correctly) after she said something to him? (I think Choso was the one who saw that happen??) Like she’s the “reason” he “changed” and Sukuna only became abusive towards Yuji after that? Cause I feel like I remember him promising Choso he wouldn’t do stuff to Yuji and maybe he actually didn’t but then started after the stuff happened with this Woman? 👀

Idk if I’m super far off but that would maybe also explain why he really doesn’t want Gojo to get his way with reader (like Sukuna apparently succeeded in manipulating that girl, who then maybe found out that he was obsessed or something and that’s what she said to him before things escalated) cause he doesn’t want Gojo to succeed/be happy “where he failed”? Or maybe he wants to protect reader somehow because of underlying self-hatred and projection?

I feel like either I cooked hard or completely burned my kitchen down, along with my whole house with these theories lmao, thanks for listening to my ted talk🙇🏻‍♀️

-🖤

Ah yes, the seasonal yap sesh 🙂‍↕️ lets unpack, shall we?

This is kinda long btw, sorry ><

For one, I actually didnt even notice that I mirrored where smut is until you just pointed it out HELLO? I MIGHT BE A GENUIS? I know I mirrored the first three words of tfl & ftl but I did the smut thing on accident honestly 😅

& Gojo was…coco for cocoa puffs, to say the least. Even in tfl, he explicitly tells the reader that the version of himself who fell in love with her was a bad guy— as we now see!

And I need everyone to be well aware that the acts are not okay. 🙏 Please, even as I wrote it I was genuinely creeped out because imagine if you had someone you didn’t know watching you & even jacking his shit to you… that is WEIRD and NASTY. Gojo being hot does NOT excuse SHIT. ^.^ Happy that I was able to express that through that disturbing chapter. These acts should not be romanticized. & while yes, I love a good dark romance, this is an example of what isn’t romantic but pure dark. It’d be different if he actually knew the reader & talked to her but he didn’t, I hope people keep tht in mind :)

NEXT, liking Sukuna is okay actually 😄 You might even feel stronger about him in those regards after the next chapter! And my foreshadowing with the babysitting was rather obvious I think! Glad you spotted it tho!! ;)

About the whole money thing. It was explained that Gojo enjoyed babysitting in general & it’s clear he loves kids & taking care of them! As such, think of it as a parallel to the reader in tfl. She had no job & was getting no action until Gojo came along w the blackmail. Through him, she saw it as a win win (blackmail aside) as she’d get to fuck hot guys & get paid— solving two of her problems at once. Now with Gojo in ftl, he saw it as him being able to take care of kids like he loves & the amount that Sukuna pays him is like an added bonus! A mere plus side, if you will. Gojo is rich but who doesn’t love extra money? Especially for something he loves doing?

& nono, the part where Sukuna was studying the apartment was to say he could tell two people lived there! It’s simply a nod to how Sukuna & Gojo didn’t know each other well enough for Sukuna to know Gojo had a roomate. :)

With Sukuna’s understanding of Gojo’s obsession…. 🌚 Let’s just say, Sukuna is not a fan of it. More will come in upcoming chapters!

You definitely cooked w ur theories, fret not my love :3 I was happy to read! Ty <3

[dappledpaintbrush]

wow, looks like you can do an essay about Dimentio.

What do you think of the other characters?

For me in "short"

Tippi: The protagonist of the story and got her happy ending, I came to miss her presence after the end.

Count Bleck: Definitely one of Mario's best written villains. I cry.

Nastasia: I was in her place, I empathized a lot with her and sometimes I wish she would return in other stories.

O'chunks: I was surprised by her story, I didn't expect that background, for me he is a himbo in a good way. A good guy.

Mimi: I can't say the same with Mimi, a little disappointed, but at least there are headcanons.

Mr. L: Definitely wasted potential, I would have liked to see more with the other minions. It's weird if I got a penny for every time Luigi is hypnotized into being an enemy I'd have two cents, which isn't much but it's weird that it happens twice.

Dimentio: It's thanks to him that I have an obsession with Jesters, he managed to do what Bowser couldn't with just a snap of his fingers. Terrifying, I hope one day we see it again.

OMG YAYAYAYAYAY IVE BEEN WANTING THIS ASK

Okay so. I’ll try not to make this unbearably long. But this game is my special interest so. I apologize in advance. (I turned off reblogs bc reblogging asks removes the read more) (and it’s gonna clog people’s feed) (this IS unbearably long) (I Failed)

Tippi:

Omg I miss Tippi too :( it feels so weird playing the game without her.

Tippi is so . so interesting. All of the characters are interesting, but I especially love the way she’s written. I love how they were able to nail that she’s gentle and caring, but also firm and not about to put up with anybody’s bullshit. To me, that’s hard to write without it feeling disengenuine, and they pulled it off with Tippi VERY well. A particular line of hers I really like is, “Perhaps...my life would have been more carefree without you, that is true,” in response to Blumiere’s, “But I have caused you so much suffering..." She didn’t immediately console him. She told him the truth, as harsh as it was. Idk, that scene had just always stuck out to me. It’s not a line I expected to be written.

I wish her unexplained teleportation powers were. Explained. But that doesn’t really mess up her character so it’s okay. However. I hate how she developed a crush on Mario. I’ve always hated it. I like to pretend it’s not real LMAO. But then again, it can be interpreted in a deeper way- that she didn’t actually have a crush on Mario and she was merely projecting onto him. Her memory was flooding back to her and she was in a very vulnerable situation after all. Projecting those feelings for an, at the time, unknown individual onto Mario makes sense.

I love Tippi dude she rocks she’s my favorite forever and ever and ever

-

Count Bleck:

where do I even begin on Count Bleck good lord. One of Nintendo’s best villains even outside of the Mario franchise. God he’s so fucking good.

I wish it was more clear whether or not he was planning on erasing Team Bleck from existence as well. Whether or not he was going to do that that impacts his character HEAVILY. Him wanting all worlds to end but sparing the people who cared about him really helps his “redemption” and helps us have more sympathy for him. Unfortunately it’s not directly touched on outside of that one thing Dimentio said, but. It’s Dimentio LMFAOOO we can’t trust him. I personally lean more towards Bleck was going to betray the team just given the evidence about it. I yapped a lot about my reasoning IN A POST I CANT FIND. It had a bunch of screenshots and stuff and I can’t. Fucking. Find it. Oh well I guess that’s just GONE ❤️

Despite this I feel like it’s important to address Bleck with nuance. I don’t think he intentionally planned on betraying his team. I think he genuinely loved them. But he was so caught up in the Dark Prognosticus and the Void and Timpani and ultimately BEING this Count Bleck character the book spoke of that he felt like there was no way out of it anymore. This is supported by the fact he tried to fight Mario in the final battle despite knowing Timpani was still alive. It’s clear Blumiere had completely lost himself, as if he forgot why he was doing this in the first place and let Count Bleck take over (note: I mean this in a symbolic/psychological sense; I don’t believe the book was controlling him). It’s only when he’s on his death bed that he realizes he does not have to do this.

I put redemption in quotation marks because. I don’t think he was redeemed. Granted he didn’t have enough time to do anything, but to be honest, I don’t think he or any other member of Team Bleck is redeemable (before anybody comes at me with the lament au/ajl, THE POINT IS THAT DIMENTIO IS NOT REDEEMABLE NO MATTER HOW HARD HE TRIES!! YOU CANNOT REDEEM THE EXTERMINATION OF LIFE ITSELF!!!)

Also he’s a goofy guy. He’s just a dad

Thoughts thoughts THOUGHTS THOUGHTS THOUGHTS

-

Nastasia:

NASTASIA COME BACK TO ME. God I wish they kept her emo hair strand.

Her character is so. so sad (I feel like I’ve said that sentence forty seven times, this game is MISERABLE). I love her so much. I love her confidence, I love how she doesn’t take bullshit from anyone, I love how much she loves. It makes me so fucking sad how depressed she remains long after Blumiere’s sacrifice. Like, we don’t know how much time passed between the ending of the game and Mario returning (when you boot up the save file again, Merlon states that it has been a while since he’s seen Mario). It explains why Mimi and O’Chunks seem fine (I’m sure they’re not fine, but I mean it explains why they were able to have a “normal” conversation with Mario and co.), but Nastasia is still so heartbroken.

Of course that is to be expected, and I’m glad Nintendo didn’t make everything all sunshine and rainbows ooo we’re all happy now etc, even IF a long time has passed. It makes total sense that there are repercussions to experiencing a traumatic event and Nastasia portrays it well (for a Mario game). In her epilogue dialogue, her hope for better days is shallow. It’s fake. She shows how she truly feels and immediately backtracks (“I guess I should be happy... I mean, I am, but, um...”). She still wants to put on that confident and secure exterior, but it’s not working. She will always love Blumiere, and she will always miss him. I hope she finds happiness one day, too. She deserves to live her own life.

-

O’Chunks:

O’CHUNKS IS SO UNDERRATED. FUCK

I know I’m contributing to this I barely post about him but lord he’s so interesting. I know the Japanese and English translation tell different versions of his backstory, but I really like the English version where Blumiere manipulated him in his extremely depressed state to join him. It gives more layers to Blumiere’s character- the lengths he was willing to go to get this job done, lengths that he would have never gone to before losing Timpani (and himself).

O’Chunks has one of the most unforgiving backstories in the whole games and it’s rarely talked about. He was a fucking COMMANDER OF AN ARMY and the whole game he’s just played off as some dumb brute/comic relief. I actually believe he suffered some kind of brain damage from that final battle, explaining his eyes, his struggle to speak properly, and his overall behavior. Also, the fact one of his most trusted advisors betrayed him mirrors his relationship with Dimentio. JUST. GOD . RIPS HAIR OUT. I wouldn’t blame him if he never trusted anybody again after the events of the game. But he clearly has a heart of gold beneath that rough exterior, so I doubt that mindset would come to pass

Also I know it’s not this deep like at All but . Regarding O’Chunks and his backstory, the last war fought in Scotland was the Battle of Culloden in 1746. The Scots lost that battle too, so it fits O’Chunks backstory. It’s funny to imagine he’s hundreds of years old and he just Stopped Aging once he joined the “Mario Dimension” for lack of a better term LMAO. Side note, I also believe Blumiere lost Timpani centuries ago- especially considering the Ancients are extinct by the time the game takes place (although I’ve heard it’s possible Blumiere murdered the entire Tribe of Darkness? but that’s ambiguous) (and my feelings on it would be another yapping session so I’ll shut up for now). It just took THAT long to get the criteria for the Void met. So it’s interesting to think of the concept that O’Chunks and Blumiere have known each other for THAT long. Probably why he sent O’Chunks out to fight the heroes first. He trusted him the most. But then again, I know the game did not intend for O’Chunks to be born in the 1700s lol. Like I said it’s just interesting for me :3

-

Mimi:

MIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMI!!!! MY GIRL!!!!

I agree with you- her backstory is disappointing compared to characters like O’Chunks and Dimentio. But at the same time I enjoy the unknown. After all, she is the embodiment of mystery. Her whole shtick is mimicking. You never know if a character is truly themselves or it’s a copy (I mean, you do- her mannerisms are obvious- but still lmao)- hell, even SHE canonically loses herself sometimes in her mimics. But even then, I wish we knew more about her. AND I WISH THE CONCEPT OF HER BEING A FAILED PIXL WAS TALKED ABOUT MORE? WHAT??????? HELLO????? REMINDERRRR that you can’t just go about making Pixls. That was a practice for the Ancients, and the ONLY reason Merlon could do it is because he is a descendant of the Ancients with a shit ton of their books. How old is Mimi? How much has she seen? If she’s centuries or even thousands of years old- depending on how long ago you think the Ancients died out- what was she doing this whole time??? LIKE HELLO!!! MIMI!! SPEAK TO ME!!!!

I love love LOVE LOVE LOVE how she can be used as a parallel to the Pixl Queen in regards to Dimentio. Dimentio and Mimi have a sibling dynamic to me, and the story potential considering Dimentio’s biological sister got turned into a Pixl and. Yk. Mimi could possibly be a failed Pixl. Is INSANE and I WISH it was used more because holy shit it has so much potential.

I like to believe the Pixl Creator (aka Dimentio’s father imo) created Mimi even if there’s no evidence JUST LET ME HAVE THIS but I also made a post maybe a year ago that theorized Francis’ ancestors created Mimi. I don’t think it’s really recognized that Francis CREATED A PIXL WITHOUT MAGIC. Yk that spell that requires the magic of the Dark Prognosticus? Yeah just forget that shit I said earlier about Non-Ancients not being able to just go out and make a Pixl, because apparently this fuckass Redditor did it. Anyways. Tipton is a robot. Mimi is a robot. I rest my case (loud applause) (people throw roses at me)

-

I already made posts about Mr. L and Dimentio, so I won’t ramble anymore here :3 But in regards to what you said YEAH . Mr. L could’ve been so much more it’s genuinely painful. And Dimentio is fucking terrifying. I honestly like to believe he did genuinely nuke the protagonists and the game only said he merely teleported them because saying “Mario’s dead like for real” is probably something Nintendo didn’t want to put in their game. I mean come on- he used the explosion attack that causes actual damage in battle. They died LMOAOOAOA. I hope we see both of them again. I was hoping so BADLY for even a glimmer of Mr. L in the Mario movie-like a mask/bandana hanging out of a drawer cameo or something. BUT ITS OKAY GUYS 😁😁😁😁😁😁 (visibly shaking) (teeth chattering) (is missing patches of hair on my head) (rocking back and forth)

[leelesbo]

that helped a lot thank you so much hkjfghdg i definitely wouldnt have thought to do some of that, literally making a list of it to make sure i remember. due to distance reasons, we're currently long distance (but planning to visit soon, so all the stuff for irl is very very helpful), but since you offered to help more, do you have any other things that would be good for over the phone or via texting? some of what youve said ive picked up already and been doing, but just anything that might not be obvious to think of. or any kinds of pics or videos that would be flustering to see? he gets too shy to request for anything but i dont have any problem sending stuff like that, and ideally i'd wanna take more for him that lean into knismo stuff.

and thanks for saying its sweet hdfgjdkfj i wanna do my best for him and thought asking someone else might be the best place to get ideas. dont apologize at all for how much you wrote, it was all genuinely very helpful and insightful

YES OFC!!! im more than happy to yap >:3

okok so over text teasing Is Different but still essentially the same. and having such an easily flustered partner honestly makes it easier

so, if this is the kinda thing yall are into, i like my tickle teases over text to be almost like a play-by-play of how the other person would tickle me if they were there. this might sound weird, but genuinely something that’s really helpful for this is reading tickle fanfic. dead serious. because these authors go into detail of how characters are tickling each other, the extremely specific spots, how characters might react to spots like that, all the methods of how to do it and it’s written so you can take inspo for texting!! for non-knismos i can easily see how it’d be difficult to fully visualize the specifics of how to tickle someone when you’re trying to write it out, so genuinely a helpful tool is taking inspo from good tickle writers!! i’ve found a lot of good fics on ao3 and tumblr from critical role, magnus archives, bungou stray dogs, mha (a lot of the fics with the ADULT CHARACTERS are really good shut up), and many more, but if u want any specific recs lmk!! (im literally not even in those fandoms i just love the way a lot of the tickle fics in those fandoms are written hdjshf)

so, like i said, a play by play. how you’d get them in the position where they’re about to be tickled (maybe you pinned them, maybe you want them tied up). anticipation is a huuuuge factor. the buildup works knismos up like CRAZY, it makes us feel more sensitive and it literally does make us feel shit even over text. tell him how you’d hover your fingers over specific spots, maybe lightly tease his worst/favorite spots with just a single finger until he’s begging you to get it over with. it’ll get him squirming in no time, trust me.

again, being specific it’s important, at least to me 😭😭 talking about the way in which you’d tickle spots is great. pinching ribs (especially if you’re pinching each specific rib and working ur way up or down), scribbling over sides to make him squirm, one finger in each underarm, digging ur thumbs in the pockets of his hips. just saying “i’ll tickle your hips” isn’t really be enough (again, at least for me!! personal preference 😌☝️) so if you’re able to figure out methods he likes best, it’ll work wonders for you.

also!!! sending stuff!!! if you find out spots he really likes, sending gifs or clips of people being tickled in those spots is a great way to get him blushing!! especially if u tell him that’s how ur gonna get him when yall visit :3 pretty much letting him know you’ve been researching and finding videos/clips/gifs so you’ll know how best to tickle him when ur together is Great

if you’re wanting to send something of You to him, i’ve seen a lot of lers make videos of them . tickling pillows? or just like, hand videos in general (wiggling their fingers n shit lol). i think wiggly finger videos are really cute and pretty flustering but the pillow thing isn’t really my cup of tea, just depends on what ur partner would prefer :) idk ive just seen stuff like that floating around here so if u think he’d like it u could try that out lol

alright!!!! again, hope that helped any, and if u need anything else hmu again bc im happy to help!!!! yapping abt tickling is my specialty

[ecofear]

I've been following several of your blogs now over the years, and one of the things I noticed is how good you are at enjoying things unashamed and fully. It's so infectious and genuinely such a joy to see. I've been super depressed for years now and enjoying things can be super hard for me. But the way you talk about the things you are into at the moment somehow spurs me on to get a little silly about the things I like as well. Overall I think you are a kind, thoughtful and very genuine person and I'm very lucky to have stumbled upon you.

dkfgjfdlkgjd over the YEARS.... that means uve been following me since before i even started talking... cuz i was a completely silent blog until like a month after bg3 came out then i started yapping... so u an og...... remarkable u even remember i am the same person............

but thank u this is,, really really nice . i'm glad that i can help you a lil bit in that way, that makes me really happy T_T like i could cry a little JUST A LITTLE...... aaaaa

i often feel like the only things i got going for me in life are the things i really care about, media, games, movies, books, whatever, so i throw myself into them 100% cuz it makes being alive a lil easier, and if i can dominate my thoughts with these things and focus on them fully .. being alive feels really good. i am happy to be alive because i have this thing i love so much that i can't get enough of. but i don't think i experience that emptiness a lot of people who get like i do report? even if i'm not completely consumed anymore i still have the things i love and they keep me going.

i had a really rough childhood, i wont go into it but it was hard and it was video games that kept me alive. like when things were really bad for me my parents would often give me a new video game to focus on instead of the bad thing. and even without those gifts it was like...... i am here today because dynasty warriors exists and they released a new game CONSTANTLY so i always had Something and with how games used to be it took forever to unlock everything and my complete obsession with that series kept me alive.

I COULD GO ON but . tldr . i owe my life to how enthusiastic i am about the media i enjoy, and i'm never gonna stop being this way because i know the good it does for me. and i think maybe if youre struggling if u can just. idk. try really hard to mimic this energy and just be a bit unhinged and open and honest about how much you love and care about . a Video Game . or a Book. or whatever, maybe it'll fill ur brain with that instead of the bad stuff ? idk maybe that's a little too idealistic . i know how bad depression can get and that its not easy to do something like this. esp if it doesn't come naturally. but its really helped me. its kept me alive and kept me finding smth to smile about ..... ANYWAY.

thank you for saying nice things to me i really, really appreciate it. i'm lucky you sent this, that you felt brave enough to be open with me, even on anon, i know even when you hide your face it can be a little difficult you're still opening your heart to someone, you still gotta be strong enough to type it. so thank you. really ^_^ i hope things look up for you, i hope you're able to beat back and defeat your depression. you deserve to live life without depression