#I I got reaction from goddamn chicken nuggets | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alarawriting · 5 years ago

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52 Project #22: Lynx

Her name is… she’s sure she can remember it, if she tries hard enough. It was something that started with a sound she can’t make any more, which lets out all the vowels, and r, and m and n, and s, so… something else. Was it Lisa? Maybe it was Lisa. Or could it have been Laura? It’s so hard to hold her memories in her head.

The people she’s living with gave her a name, since she couldn’t exactly tell them what her name used to be. They call her Athena. This is awfully ironic. Athena was the goddess of wisdom and craft, she can remember that, even if she can’t remember her own name. And now, with her memories shattered and stuffed into a brain vastly smaller than it once was, and all her dexterity gone forever, she has no wisdom and she cannot do crafts.

One of the people she lives with, a woman named Jane, opens the refrigerator. Athena smells delicious food. Ooh, is that a rotisserie chicken in there? If she times this just right, she might be able to grab the chicken and run off with it. The fridge is one of the kind with a pull-out freezer drawer on the bottom, making a convenient ledge for Athena to sit on. She waits until Jane is busy trying to get milk off of the door, and leaps, standing and stretching to grab the chicken, using the shelves of the fridge to keep her erratic balance.

“Athena, what are you doing? You ridiculous cat. Are you trying to get the chicken again?” Jane asks, in the tone of voice humans use to talk to little children and pets, and it grates on Athena’s nerves fiercely. You don’t have to talk to me like that. I understand you! But of course, she has no way of conveying that. At one point she tried to rip keys off a keyboard so she could spell out the truth of what she was, but her cat brain couldn’t handle making sense of the symbols on the keyboard and she wasn’t sure she still knew how to spell anything. What sound did a D make, again? Was it the buh sound or the duh sound?

Jane’s hands push Athena out of the refrigerator, with no chicken, and Athena screams at her in frustration, but it comes out as a cat’s yowl. She’s so tired of eating cat food. There’s only one kind of cat food she finds even remotely palatable, because it’s so bland, so that’s what they feed her… but eating the most boring food in existence because the taste of everything else she might eat instead is just horrible does not thrill her. She wants chicken. And ham. Not fish, she’s so sick of fish. The smell of fish from the super-concentrated cans of wet catfood made from fish has sickened her to the point where she won’t eat fish on a plate either. Beef smells good, but she can’t easily chew it.

There were foods she used to like, once upon a time, that are lost to her now. She remembers loving cake, but she can’t remember what it tasted like, and when she sniffs at cake now, it smells like cardboard. Cats can’t taste sugar. Or smell it, apparently. Rather, she can smell it – she can smell so much, now – but it doesn’t smell good.

“Come on, kitty. Let’s check your bowl,” Jane says, leaving the milk on the counter. She walks over to the cat feeder, which is half full. Athena hadn’t wanted the chicken because she was hungry, she wanted the chicken because she was so goddamn sick of cat food. “No, see, you’ve got plenty of food!” Jane shakes the feeder, making more crunchy bits fall out of the hopper and into the bowl.

Athena gives up. She stalks over to the door and stands up, trying to reach the doorknob. If she just was a slightly longer cat, she might… just… reach…

Jane approaches, and Athena falls down, the effort of being bipedal even with the door to support her overwhelming her. She meows again for good measure.

“Oh, if you can’t get my chicken you want to get out? Okay, fine,” Jane sighs, and opens the door.

Athena sits at the threshold, breathing through her nose, letting all the scents come to her, checking to make sure there are no enemy cats in the area. Humans plainly do not understand this. “Go on, now, you wanted to go out,” Jane says, and touches Athena’s backside lightly with her foot, signaling that if she doesn’t go on her own power, Jane might scoot her out with a foot. It’s not a kick, it’s not painful, but it’s humiliating.

I had a house once, just like you. I had pets. Dogs, not cats. It isn’t that Athena didn’t love cats in her human incarnation; she didn’t have pet cats precisely because she loves cats, and the idea of risking the destruction of a beloved pet’s mind if something went wrong frightened her. The cat she is now was a stray, and she still feels bad about it. Whoever this cat was before Athena rode her that final time, she’s gone forever now, probably.

Well. Time to go dumpster diving… wait, is that Jay?

The gray tabby male approaches her, the comforting scent of him wafting toward her. Athena waves her tail in excitement, and smells Jay’s happiness at seeing her. They sniff at each other’s breath. Ugh, Jay must have gotten into some fish.

As soon as he smelled her breath, Jay paces away from her, then turns back to see if she’s following. Hopefully he isn’t leading her to fish, but Athena is pretty sure Jay knows she hates fish. It’s hard for her to tell what other cats know – her own mind is a human mind stuffed awkwardly into a cat brain, where it doesn’t fit, her cat instincts often confused and jangled by inappropriate human memories. She has no idea what it’s like to think like a real cat. Do cats have enough theory of mind to be able to tell that another cat has a food preference?

But what Jay leads her to was a fast food bag spilled on the ground, with chicken nuggets inside it.

Yes! Athena tears up the chicken nuggets, removing the unappetizing coating and ravaging the meat inside with her teeth. The bag is probably from… oh, no, she can’t have lost that, that name used to be everywhere, what was it… Mike something? Mike Burger? Maybe. Since getting stuck in a cat, Athena’s lost the ability to read logos; something about her limited color vision and maybe about how the cat brain processes information, she isn’t sure.

Afterward, she and Jay walk down the street, inspecting their territory, checking where other cats put down markers. One good thing about this transformation – cat pee only smells bad close up. At a distance, what she’s picking up are the pheromones, which would tell her a lot about the other cats, if only she knew how to interpret it. So far she’s gotten “male”, “female”, “neutered”, “pregnant” and “kitten” from scent, and that’s about it. Jay is probably getting a lot more, but contrary to children’s books, cats do not have a language; Jay can’t convey any really complex information to her any more than she can to a human. They’re friends, but she can’t talk to him.

The part of her that is human, and expects to be able to talk to her friends, is so goddamn lonely.

“Oh, as I live and breathe. Is that – are you Lynx?”

Athena can’t recognize human faces the way a human can anymore, and when she was human she didn’t have the sense of smell that she has now, but the sound of a human voice sounds the same whether she’s a human or a cat. Cats can hear it further away, but it sounds the same.

Before she can control her reaction, she backs up, fur standing on end, and hisses at the speaker. Jay looks at her, at the human she’s hissing at, and bolts – cats don’t stand their ground to defend other cats very often, aside from mothers with kittens. She doesn’t hold it against him.

“Oh!” The human laughs at her. “You look so ridiculous like that! Calm down, we’re no longer enemies.”

Really? Athena thinks at him. Could have fooled me.

Slither, whose name is in no way an accurate representation of his powers, chortles. “Oh, come on now. When you were with a team, and you had your human body anchoring you, you were a threat, but now? You don’t even remember your name, your mind is in complete disarray, and you have no powers beyond the abilities of any house cat. I have nothing against you, now that you’ve been defeated so thoroughly. Does the Watch even know what happened to you or where you are?”

Athena struggles to remember. The Watch. It sounds so familiar.

“Oh, ha! You don’t even remember your own team! This is too rich!” Slither snickers.

A team… yes. Yes, she distantly remembers. Images of men and women in tightly fitting clothing, or cloaks. Friends. She can’t remember any of their names, but she remembers the feelings. The warmth, the feeling of belonging. The joy of fighting by their side. The despair when she realized they thought she was dead, that they won’t even look for her because her body was leaking blood and brains all over the room she should have been safe in and it will never occur to them that she’d survive that. She didn’t know she’d survive that. She always assumed that if she was riding a cat and her body died, she’d die… not stay behind in the cat, forever.

No, wait, that isn’t true. That’s why she never had pet cats, because she was afraid that when she died, she might accidentally jump into one of her own cats. When she rides an animal – rode an animal, she can’t really call what she’s doing now riding – the animal’s own mind would go dormant until she released it, but she always worried that if her body died while she was riding, the animal’s mind would be suppressed forever, effectively dead. She’s tried to find any evidence of the cat who used to live in this body, to no effect. Whoever she was, whatever family may have loved her once, she’s gone now.

But she never told the Watch about her fear – did she? Maybe she did and she just doesn’t remember.

“No, you never told them,” Slither says, and she remembers why he annoys her beyond all the other villains she’s fought. Slither’s a telepath. In the old days, when she was human, he couldn’t read her mind when she was riding – he complained one time it was something about her mind being in two places at once, executing on two different pieces of wetware. Obviously he doesn’t have that limitation any more, or they couldn’t be having this conversation. It’s not the telepathy that makes him annoying, though; it’s how supercilious he is about it. “Ever since Ms. Anthropy killed your human body, the Watch has practically fallen apart.” He puts his hands together next to his cheek and draws his shoulders in, a parody of a little girl over-emoting. “The poor dears! They never recovered from knowing that someone waltzed in through their defenses and killed the friend they thought they were protecting, while they were occupied elsewhere.”

I don’t even remember them, Athena thinks. They’re broken up over what they think was my death, and I can’t even remember them. She thinks she ought to care about this. She ought to be sad, but her cat brain just can’t muster up sorrow for the abstract concept of “people who cared about me once who I don’t remember”.

Slither squats in front of her, which makes it a lot easier to see him, because cat vision isn’t as acute as human. She stares at him with unblinking eyes, because that’s what cats do when they’re angry and proud and they don’t want to back down, and she memorizes what he looks like to her as a cat. He’s a white man, tall and boney, his skin a kind of pale yellow, which is normal for white people; she has a sneaking feeling that it really isn’t, that her human eyes could see and comprehend an entire color range that cats aren’t capable of, but without a human brain to anchor her she can’t imagine what that color could have been. His hair is long, sort of greasy, and he smells like he doesn’t shower very often, which doesn’t bother her as a cat nearly as much as it would have if she were human… after all, she herself never goes near a tub nowadays if she can help it. She remembers that when they were fighting, he used to wear a snake-themed costume; she remembers being surprised when she found out his powers have nothing to do with snakes, and his obnoxious laughter. (Not that they ever actually fought. Athena was immune to Slither’s power when she was riding, but Slither, like all humans, was entirely too big and powerful for a cat’s tiny claws to do much damage to; Athena was never a fighter. It was her job to gather intelligence, and also… something else? There was… something? It slips away from her and she can’t grasp it.)

“You poor, poor thing,” Slither says. “You were a worthy opponent, Lynx; I hate seeing what’s happened to you. You’re losing your mind, aren’t you?”

Losing? I can’t be more cat than I’ve already become; I think what I’ve lost I’ve lost, and everything else is still here.

“Of course you’d think that,” Slither says. “If you were human, constantly being presented with human tasks to do, and you were losing the ability to do them, you’d notice. But you’re a cat. You’re never asked to remember anything, or to do human tasks, so you have no opportunity to notice that your abilities to do so are slipping away.”

How would you know that?

“I checked up on you after Ms. Anthropy killed you, of course.”

Athena doesn’t remember dying. One moment she was in two places at once, processing through two brains at once, lying down in Watch HQ and riding a little tortoiseshell, and the next, she was disoriented and lost, the connection to her human self just gone. She was –

Wait! A flicker! She remembers just a little bit more about the Watch. She remembers slipping into their headquarters, and none of them were there. She went to where her body was, and found her own face unrecognizable, a hole blasted through her skull. It was unmistakably her, though; she’d smelled herself many times when riding cats, and her cat-memories transferred with her from cat to cat even though she hadn’t easily been able to access them as a human.

Athena remembers running, panicking. She should have stayed. She completely forgot that the Watch would care about her and think she was dead; cats don’t think of such things. She just ran.

You knew I was alive, but you didn’t bother to tell anyone else?

Slither shrugs. “I’m a villain, darling, I have no obligation to tell the heroes anything. And if you couldn’t be bothered to tell them yourself…”

I panicked and then I forgot who they were because I’m a cat!

“Details,” Slither says, waving his hand. “But listen. I’m not here to mock you – well, I’m not here just to mock you.” He laughs. “I wanted to make a deal with you.”

Athena gives Slither her best unimpressed look, which she imagines must look really unimpressed, given that she is a cat and they always look unimpressed. Why would I want to make a deal with you?

“Because someone needs to stop the Executive,” Slither says, quietly, very quietly, as if he’s afraid someone might overhear. She’s not sure she’d even be able to hear him if she was human.

Athena’s eyes widen and her tail twitches, her ears stiffening upright and pointing forward. You’re defecting from the Society?

Slither shakes his head. “Oh, no, no. I’m just like Fagin from that musical. You know, ‘Oliver’?” He breaks into song. “‘I'm reviewing the situation, I'm a bad 'un and a bad 'un I shall stay! You'll be seeing no transformation, but it's wrong to be a rogue in ev'ry way.’” He looks down at her. “Oh, come now. My singing’s not that bad.”

I wouldn’t know. Music’s a human thing. I understand the words you said, but it just sounds like you added some nonsense tones to the words.

“Everyone’s a critic,” Slither grouses. And then he speaks in her mind. Executive Dysfunction is out of control. He’s taken advantage of the Watch’s grief and guilt over losing you, and he’s made it far worse – paralyzing them, essentially. I’m sure you don’t watch the news, being a cat, but villains are running rampant, all over the state, and the Watch is barely able to pull themselves together to do anything about it.

Why do you care? Athena asks.

Because my success is contingent on there being a society for me to exploit, Slither replies with a note of mockery, but also more honesty than she expects from him. If there are no rich people, then there are no people I can steal passwords from and wire money to myself. If there is no stock market, there are no tips I can pick up from reading corporate leaders’ minds to make myself wealthy. If society collapses, I’m not going to get to buy anything with my wealth. He sits on the pavement, criss-cross applesauce. I didn’t know the Executive was an anarchist before this, or I’d never have signed up with the Society of Sin.

Athena gives him the unimpressed look again. How did you not know that when you can read minds?

I can’t read the Executive’s. Never could. Just like his power doesn’t work on me.

Executive Dysfunction’s power is to make people confused. That doesn’t sound like such a dangerous and formidable thing, but Athena knows better. In the heat of battle, confusion kills. Confused superheroes strike each other down with friendly fire, harm civilians, destroy property… or just plain fail. A superhero who loses track of what they’re doing in the middle of doing it is not likely to win the day. The Executive’s power never used to work on Athena when she was riding a cat, so she would yowl at her teammates, or nip them, or climb their legs, to break the fog and let them concentrate again. It’s counter-intuitive – you would think a cat yowling at you would break your concentration – but the confusion the Executive inflicts often manifests as the victim hyper-focusing on something useless, or letting their mind drift and keep shifting gears. She experienced it when she was just a human, one time, when she hadn’t found a cat to ride yet. So a swat with a paw or a well-timed kitty screech could break them out of it.

Without her, there might not be anyone left in the Watch who can fight Executive Dysfunction’s power. She still can’t remember who’s in the Watch. She hadn’t remembered either Ms. Anthropy or Executive Dysfunction until Slither mentioned them.

I don’t see what I can do about any of that. I’m a cat. Like you said, my hero days are over. She’s fairly sure she won’t be able to find Watch headquarters even if she tries.

“But you don’t have to stay a cat,” Slither wheedles, speaking aloud again.

Athena’s ears perk and she lifts her head, the picture of a cat who just heard something that alerted her. What are you saying?

“I’m saying that I could facilitate your transfer to a human body.”

If Athena were human, she might have paced, or fidgeted with her hands. The nervous energy drives her to start grooming herself, instead, because she’s a cat and that’s how cats calm themselves. You never had that ability before… did you? Athena didn’t mean to add the last, questioning part, but her command of her own memories is terrible and she knows it, and it makes her second-guess everything she believes about her past.

“My dear Lynx. I named myself Slither and wore snake costumes so people would make assumptions and never guess my true power. Do you seriously believe I’m incapable of hiding some of my full capacities, to keep them in reserve so no one will expect them when I use them?”

That… certainly sounded in character for Slither. That’s all you want me to do? Get my human body back?

Slither nods. “And then tell the Watch you’re alive, of course, and help them fight back against the Society.” He’s whispering again. “With you back to defend them from the Executive, and the grief that’s been dragging them down released, they’ll be able to beat him – he’ll never see it coming. He thinks you’re dead, too. Only I know the truth.”

Why only you?

“Because you were with your team on the battlefield when I could suddenly read you. The moment you sensed you didn’t have your human body anymore, I read it in your mind. And then you ran, but I’ve known since that moment that you were alive in the cat body.” He sighs. “I did think the deterioration of your mind might go a bit slower, though. The fact that you don’t remember any of your best friends that you fought beside for years… you can’t even read logos anymore, you don’t remember the existence of the color red, and what’s worse, your capacity for human problem-solving is fading. You can’t even grab yourself a rotisserie chicken from a refrigerator.”

Humans are bigger than me and I don’t have thumbs. How am I supposed to open the refrigerator when Jane or someone isn’t there to stop me?

“If you still had a human’s mind, you’d likely be able to come up with six different answers to that question, but cats don’t do very well on problem-solving tasks. Actually, dogs are smarter.”

Athena doesn’t dignify that with an answer.

“How interesting,” Slither murmurs. “You have to actually think in words, like a human, for me to be able to hear you. That’s not your default mode, is it?... Is it getting harder to do?”

Athena has no idea if it’s getting harder to think in words. Did she think in words more when this first happened? Or maybe less? Has she gotten more used to cajoling human patterns out of a cat brain? She hasn’t been paying enough attention to know.

“In any regard,” and now Slither stands up. “I’ve got things to do right now, but I’ll be back tomorrow, around noon. Oh, does noon mean anything to cats? Do you even know what time it is?”

When the sun is in the middle of the sky. I still remember that much.

“Good, then I’m glad I picked noon! I imagine 3 pm would be a lot harder for you to manage.” He chuckles. “We can help each other. You can be human again, I can see a certain colleague taken down before he ruins everything for me, and you’ll be a hero again. Think about it.”

Athena has thought about it and doesn’t see any downside, but there are things Slither probably isn’t telling her, and she can’t get her cat brain to cooperate on imagining what they might be. The emotional punch of you could be human again is overwhelming her limited ability to think, but she has to. Slither always has an angle. His story about wanting Executive Dysfunction defeated makes sense, but she’s a cat. Would she even be able to detect a hole in his story if there was one?

Slither walks away. Athena washes herself for some time, until she’s composed, and heads back to the house, where she meows at the door until Jane’s husband Adam lets her in. Time to eat some shitty cat food and think through… wait, what is she supposed to think through again?

It’s so frustrating to have a cat memory. Things like the location of smells and particularly interesting potential mouseholes and a detailed three-dimensional map of her entire territory stick with her, but sometimes events that happened ten minutes ago fade away and she can only catch them in glimpses.

Racking her brain won’t help. That just makes it worse, most of the time. She eats bland and boring cat food, uses her litter box, and leaps up onto the couch in the living room, stretching out for a nap. It’s then, when her mind is at peace and starting to drop off into sleep, that she remembers. Oh, yeah! Slither! And he said he could get me back into my human body!

Well. Now she can’t afford to go to sleep until she’s mulled the offer over as well as a cat can; if she sleeps before putting in the time to think about Slither’s offer, she’s afraid she’ll forget it completely.

So. Try to use logic. It’s hard, with a cat brain, but she has to try. What could Slither be after, if he’s lying? When she was human, she’d have known, but cats do not have mirror neurons that work to model humans, so she has to drag out memories of being human and cudgel her cat brain into processing them as information.

Slither wants to be rich. He could use his powers to get rich, but he’s a villain. Slither also likes being the smartest guy in the room, but he could get that without being a villain. He likes being secretive and always being one step ahead of everyone else, but he could in theory do that without being a villain, too.

Why is Slither a villain? Why isn’t he a more normal evil person, like a CEO or something, hiding that he has a power rather than letting people think his power is something completely different from what it is? Ms. Anthropy is sadistic and angry and likes to hurt people. Executive Dysfunction is apparently an anarchist. The others in the Society of Sin are all driven by something that makes sense – mad scientists who want to perform unethical experiments and need money and resources to do so; ideologues with bizarre ideologies; there’s the one guy whose name she forgets who just likes to see things burn, metaphorically and literally.

But Slither? Everything she knows he wants is something it would be easier for him to get in some legitimate way. So why is he a villain?

The only answer her cat brain can produce for her is so what?

Okay, try from a different angle. Is there any reason Slither might be lying to her?

Because he thinks it’s fun. Yeah, okay, that could always be Slither’s motive for anything.

Because he doesn’t want to defeat Executive Dysfunction and let the Watch get back together. Okay, but everything he said about why he wants Executive Dysfunction to be defeated makes sense, and if things make sense to a cat, they must be true.

Because… because… oh, this is making her head hurt. She can’t work this out. Why doesn’t she just take the offer, and when she’s in a human body again, then she can figure out what Slither’s real game is?

Making the decision is a relief. Athena stretches, closes her eyes, and relaxes for her nap.

***

At noon the next day, she’s sitting out on the sidewalk, washing her paws to control her nervousness. Cats can’t actually tell time. The sun’s in the top of the sky, but is it really noon, or is it afternoon and she missed the meeting? Or is it an hour or two away from noon, and she’s going to have to wait that long?

“Lynx, such a pleasure to see you!”

Okay. So it really is noon. Nice to know.

I’ll take you up on your offer. You get me back into my body, and I can pull the Watch together and get them to take Executive Dysfunction out.

“Oh, an excellent choice!” Slither claps his hands.

And then he bends down to pick her up. Athena yowls and bolts under a bush. I never said you can touch me!

“Oh, come now. How do you expect us to get to Watch headquarters at the speed a cat can walk?”

I can run a lot faster than you.

“Yes, but I can keep walking when you must stop running. Remember? Humans are persistence predators? Anyway, I’d planned on driving.”

Fine. I’ll go in your car, but you are not to pick me up. I can jump in.

She looks back at the house as she walks after Slither. Jane and her family will never know what happened to their pet cat. Even if the cat body survives and has a cat mind after hers is out of it… the cat won’t know to return to Jane’s house. She’ll become a stray again.

Maybe Athena – no, by then she’ll be Lynx and this cat would be Athena – maybe Lynx will take Athena and bring her back to Jane’s house. She won’t know those people, but she’ll smell her own scent all over the place and recognize this as her home. Jane and the others might perceive her acting strangely, but she’ll be the same cat, physically, and she’ll warm up with the affection they’d give her. And food. Athena would probably like normal cat food, once Lynx isn’t riding her anymore.

Slither opens the passenger door to his car, next to the sidewalk, and Athena jumps up to the seat. Once Slither is in the car’s driver seat, he says mockingly, “Don’t you think you ought to put your seat belt on?”

You’re not funny, Athena thinks at him. Just drive.

***

The Watch HQ is still downtown. Dimly Athena remembers arguments about whether they should move it out of the city – in the city, they could respond to crises more quickly, since those crises almost always happened in the city, but if they were attacked at the HQ there was a high risk of collateral damage and danger to civilians. Looks like they didn’t change it. She can’t remember what her position on it was.

Tell me about the Watch, she thinks to Slither. Remind me who they are.

“Oh, you’ll remember soon enough, don’t you think?” He turns on his cell phone from the hands-free console, and dials a number. A woman’s voice Athena should know, but can’t remember, answers.

“Dr. Awe. What do you want, Slither?”

“It’s go time,” Slither says.

Dr. Awe laughs. “Beautiful. I’ll tell the Executive. You’re on your way?”

“As we speak.”

For a crazed moment Athena considers meowing. Just to hear how Awe reacts, to see what Slither does. Back in the old days, the Society of Sin used to pre-emptively attack cats who were anywhere nearby when they were starting or in the middle of an operation, because no one but Slither could tell if a given cat was her, and Slither, for some reason, never told his fellows. Maybe Slither is a villain because villains get to keep a lot of secrets; it seems to be a thing he does so often, for so little purpose sometimes, that maybe he just really enjoys having information no one else has. Heroes keep secrets also, but she can’t imagine Slither ever wanting to be a hero.

If she meows, Awe’s reaction will tell her if Slither ever told any of his fellows that Lynx was still alive.

On the other hand, it might make it impossible for Slither to do whatever he’s planning that’s going to get her back into her human body. So she doesn’t do it. Slither hangs up the phone.

You’re going to attack the Watch?

“Of course. How else can I put the Executive in a place where the Watch can take him down as soon as they have you to inspire them?” That last bit is definitely mockery. She’s human enough to remember what human vocal tones mean.

I didn’t inspire them. I swatted them with a paw or yowled at them when I could see that Executive Dysfunction was getting to them. Possibly she’ll still be able to do that, even from the cat body; Slither’s power works on her now, without two brains to create too much noise for him to hear her thoughts, but Executive Dysfunction’s power might only work on human brains. She’s never seen him use it on an animal, whereas obviously Slither can.

***

Slither parks the car downtown. This strikes Athena as slightly ridiculous. The Society of Sin has a hovercraft, and a fleet of cargo vans, and a giant robot that can carry them; the fact that Slither drives his own car and parks it some distance from Watch HQ, to rendezvous with his team there, is just silly.

“From this point on you and I have to go our separate ways. I’m sure you remember that most members of the Society will try to kill a cat.”

Athena remembers. Do they know I’m alive?

“They aren’t as certain that you’re dead as the Watch is. I may possibly have dropped some hints, in the past, that shooting you in the head while you were riding a cat wasn’t honestly the most certain means of disposing of you.”

Is there anything you do or say in life that isn’t a mind game?

He flashes a broad, toothy smile at Athena. “I brush my teeth every day. Can’t really see how to turn that into a mind game.”

I’m sure that if you think of it, you will.

“Oh, probably.” He looks down at her. “Do you remember how to get there?”

Athena looks around and realizes, she has no idea. She used to be a cat on the streets near Watch HQ quite often, but cat memories aren’t very good even for cat experiences, and undoubtedly some of the human memories she’s managed to cling to have forced out cat memories that she might have otherwise kept. Not really.

“Keep walking down the street to the traffic light, and turn left. You know which direction is left, don’t you?”

My spatial perception’s probably better than yours.

“A very good point. Well, after you turn left, walk all the way down the street until you see the building that says ‘Watch’ in front of it.”

Cats can’t read, Slither.

“True, but I’m guessing you’ll recognize it. Be careful of my teammates.”

How are we doing this? Do I sneak in and then you… do what? You said you could get me back into my body.

“Yes to the sneaking in. I’ll contact you once we’re both inside, and tell you what you need to do.”

Whatever. She raises her tail and walks away from him.

***

She does recognize Watch HQ. The smells hit her first – she’s been in this general area as a cat so often, she knows the scent of the sewer grate and the hot dog truck and the perfume from the perfume store wafting out every time someone opens the door. And then she’s in sight of the building. She looks up, drinking in the architecture – the shining, reflective windows that cover the entire building. They’re made of some sort of super-science unbreakable plastic, not glass, but her cat eyes can’t tell the difference anyway. Way up there are the balconies, where flying people can just fling themselves out into the air. There are flags on the roof, which if she remembers correctly is spiky, very difficult to maneuver in if you’re a big tall biped, very easy to slink through if you’re a tiny furry quadruped.

Things are coming back to her. People, friends of hers, their names and powers. Ariel, a flying woman with no legs, who wears a fish tail as part of her costume so she looks like a mermaid, swimming through air. Odysseus, the team leader, who was known for his strategies and his cleverness, once upon a time. Man’o’Might, the super-strong, broad-shouldered fellow who loved video games in his downtime, and made the best spaghetti she’d tasted. Were there others? She’s sure there were, but right now, they don’t come to mind.

It’s important not to let anyone from the Society of Sin see her, so she slips through the buildings to the back alleyways where humans keep their dumpsters. Wait, is that chicken she’s smelling? She clamps down on the urge to check. Once she’s human she can eat all the chicken she wants. Tiny yards, usually mostly occupied by dumpsters. This is a commercial district; other areas of the city have tiny yards with little gardens, sometimes, not just dumpsters. There are loading docks and ramps for the stores and the restaurants and the business buildings, but the Watch doesn’t have one aboveground – too easy for someone unauthorized to get in off the street. There’s a parking garage nearby, and if you know the right code, and if the security guards verify you, you can get through the gate on the lowest floor and then drive up into the loading area directly under the building.

But that’s how humans in cars are supposed to get in. Athena has a cat door.

There’s a set of pressure pads. They smell, very faintly, of basil, lavender, and hyacinth. A human would need to be lying on the ground to pick up the smells, and the pressure pads are tiny, not much bigger than a cat’s paw. Athena can’t remember the correct sequence, but there’s a workaround; if ever she lost her memory of the sequence because cat brains are not good at that and her human brain might be doing something else at the time, she was told to just press them in a sequence, any sequence, and repeat it, a lot of times. So she presses basil, hyacinth, lavender, basil, hyacinth, lavender, over and over, until one of the shining, reflective panels near the ground slides open into a dark tunnel. Dark right now, anyway.

As soon as she’s in the tunnel, her eyes adjust and it’s not dark anymore. There are LEDs in the tunnel, very few and very rare. A human who can miniaturize themselves and somehow find a way to sneak in here wouldn’t be able to see, but a cat can see just fine. Athena strolls down the tunnel as if it hasn’t been years since she was last here, memories returning.

Up ahead, she can hear the sounds of a fight. The Society must be attacking.

She runs up the tunnel, to the exit point high above the floor in the atrium. There’s a path down for her, spaced out narrow ledges on the wall the width of a cat that she can use to jump down, jump jump jump, but for right now, she gazes out at the battle in front of her. Yes. Yes, she recognizes all of them. No, wait, not that guy – he must be someone they brought in after she supposedly died. But the rest? She knows them. She’s seen them so many times in cat form, she has clear cat-eye images of them in her memory, unlike with Slither, who she’s seen more often in human form.

And there’s the Society of Sin, all of them, engaged in battle with the Watch. Except for Slither, off to the side, where he’s probably reading the minds of the members of the Watch and transferring that info to his teammates. The Society is running a certain amount of cover for him, as they always used to do – his telepathic range isn’t far enough for him to stay behind in their vehicle.

Executive Dysfunction is standing in the middle of the atrium, doing nothing. He’s not fighting. He’s looking at the battle, smirking. Dr. Ray and Dr. Awe facing off with various super-science inventions. Ariel fighting Fallen Angel in the air. Ms. Anthropy with her trick gun and Lightning Rod trying to zap her without killing her. Man’o’Might against Blockbuster. The Mechanist against the Beautiful Daughter. Odysseus in hand-to-hand combat with Kage, the martial arts expert. The new guy – Athena doesn’t know his name, or his power – helping Odysseus, because there’s no one for him to square off against. It looks like maybe one of the Society is missing – she doesn’t see the firestarter, whose name she can’t remember.

None of them see Slither, which is normal – he projects a sort of “I’m not here” field as long as he doesn’t move – but they also don’t notice the Executive, and that is unusual. Especially since they’re all giving him berth, dodging around him as if they know he’s there, but if they do know he’s there, it would be very strange for them not to be fighting him. Everyone knows how terrible the Executive’s power is, and they usually used to try to take him out as soon as they saw him. Not kill him, but knock him out so he can’t make them fall into confusion.

It looks as if the Executive has learned a new trick. No one but Lynx sees him there – and Slither, most likely – and no one notices that he ought to be there, either.

Lynx jumps down the ledges that were set there for her, so long ago. Okay. How is this going to work?

As soon as the Executive opens up with his power, you let go of the cat as if you’re going to jump back to your own body. You do remember how to do that, right?

Lynx wrinkles her nose slightly, though she’s too far from Slither for him to see it. Of course I do.

Once you do that, I’ll carry you into your new body, and then you’ll help the Watch deal with the Executive.

With a glance at the Executive, who is still not doing anything, Lynx thinks to Slither, It looks like they could deal with him now if I let them know he’s there.

She can hear Slither snicker inside her head. No, you can’t. He’s more powerful now than he’s ever been. Besides, you don’t have the ability to go unnoticed like he does.

Oh. Right. The rest of the Society will kill her if they see her. Particularly Ms. Anthropy, who’s already done it once. What do you mean he’s more powerful? He’s not making anyone confused, he’s just making it so they don’t realize he’s there.

Wait for it, Slither says.

And then the Executive grins, and spreads his arms wide, and everything stops.

The Watch, and the Society of Sin, all seem to lose track of what they’re doing. Ariel, who hovers all the time when she’s awake, remains in the air, looking around her like she’s trying to find car keys or something, but Fallen Angel lands on one of the balconies and leans over it, staring out into nothing. Odysseus scratches his head, clearly aware that something is odd, but not what. Ms. Anthropy starts obsessively checking her ammo. Both of the scientists check their pockets and other places they may have stored things, as if they’re looking for something, though they plainly aren’t sure what. No one is fighting any more, or even paying attention.

Executive Dysfunction walks over to Ms. Anthropy, easily moving out of the way of confused heroes and villains. He puts a hand out to her. She stares at him, clearly baffled, and he takes her gun from her, smiling at her. She seems to forget he’s done it the moment he turns his back to her.

He’s going to shoot your team, Slither informs Lynx helpfully. And it actually is helpful. Even without Executive’s confusion powers working on her, the fact that she’s been stuck in a cat brain all this time makes it hard for her to see human strategies.

Lynx swears. She doesn’t have any idea how much time she’ll have to stop him after she gets into her human body. Do it now! she yells, and releases her hold on the body.

It’s not like that, really. It’s like being an astronaut inside a ship, with a tether that can connect you to the ship, and when you throw yourself out the airlock, the tether spools out behind you, but if you’ve successfully made it to the airlock of the ship across you, then you can release the tether. She still has a connection to Athena the cat, but she’s floating free of the body, and then there’s a dizzy moment and she smells Slither, her mind interpreting his power touching her mind as a scent, and then she blinks her eyes open and she’s standing up with a gun in her hand.

She’s too disoriented to hold the gun. She drops it from nerveless fingers, and stares down at her large, broad hands. They aren’t her hands.

But she’s human. She has a human brain to work with, for the first time in years, and she’s so used to struggling so hard to think against the tiny cat brain she was stuck in, it feels like her mind is moving a mile a minute now. She looks down at Executive Dysfunction’s shoes and she knows where she is – who she is.

Slither is smirking at her. She thinks for a moment that he’s betrayed her, lied to her, and then she realizes… no. No, he never lied. He told her he’d get her into a human body, and she, with the intelligence of a cat, assumed he meant her own… even though she knew her own had been shot in the head.

Everyone is waking up from their confusion, looking around. Slither is strolling over to the cat Athena, who meows weakly, and Lynx realizes she can hear it as if she’s the cat meowing. She’s still tethered to Athena, she’s in Executive Dysfunction’s body, Athena is alive and has a mind but she’s not recovering from Lynx riding her nearly as fast as cats did when Lynx had her own body… because Lynx is still tethered, still using part of Athena’s brain as well as Executive Dysfunction’s.

She doesn’t know how to use the Executive’s power. She tries to speak, saying, “Odysseus?” as Odysseus turns to focus on her/the Executive. At the same time she feels Slither picking Athena up, and then she knows. The whole plan jumps out at her.

Odysseus is saying, “Lightning Rod!” and Slither’s hand is on Athena’s head and she sees the whole plan, now that she’s got a human brain (and half of a cat’s) to do it with. Slither transferred her into Executive Dysfunction. She doesn’t know how to use the Executive’s power. Odysseus is going to want to take the Executive down hard and keep him sedated and unable to use his power, pretty much forever, and she won’t have time to convince anyone she’s Lynx because they think she’s dead and because jumping to a human was never part of her power set. And Slither will kill Athena so she has no cat nearby to ride. She’ll be stuck as Executive Dysfunction and be put on trial for his crimes, or just be kept asleep until she dies.

Nice try, Slither, she thinks, knowing he can’t hear it because she’s got two brains again, and then she shifts back to Athena and bites Slither’s hand, hard. He yells and drops her, even as Odysseus finishes his command, “Take out the Executive!” and Lightning Rod, guessing what Odysseus is about to say, fires his lightning even before the sentence is done. Executive drops, but Lynx can’t feel it, because she’s solidly Athena again.

Athena runs toward Odysseus, yowling. She sees his eyes go wide. “…a cat?”

Ms. Anthropy dives for her gun, which is on the floor next to the unconscious Executive, but Ariel, who’s been floating, bobbing around the room with no apparent sense of why or what she should be doing when Executive’s power was in action, is now awake and no longer confused. She dips down, grabs Ms. Anthropy, and lifts her into the air. Ms. Anthropy curses and struggles, but Ariel has her tightly.

Kage, apparently recognizing when the team is beaten, retreats, and the others do as well. Slither slinks toward the front of the atrium, obviously trying to sneak out before anyone sees him. Athena meows urgently at Odysseus and points her paw at Slither.

“Lynx?” he whispers, and then, “That’s Slither! Take him—”

Dr. Ray fires a paralysis wave at Slither, knocking him down to the floor. The rest of the Society of Sin are gone, but Executive Dysfunction, Ms. Anthropy, and Slither have been captured.

“You were supposed to have let go of the cat!” Slither yells, furiously, at her, as he’s dragged off by Man’o’Might, who is also carrying the unconscious Executive Dysfunction. “You wanted to be human! Why did you jump back to the cat?”

Because I was a lot smarter when I got into a human brain, and I saw what you were going for, Athena tells him, washing her paws as he goes past. It’s not hard to fool a cat, Slither, but when I’m in a human, I’m not stupid.

“Lynx?” Odysseus asks, again, more firmly. “It’s you, isn’t it?”

Athena waves her tail vigorously, before remembering that humans can’t easily read cat body language. She stands up and weaves in and out of Odysseus’ legs, purring.

“I think it’s you, but nod your head if you understand me,” he says, and she looks up at him and bobs her head, twice.

He picks her up and hugs her, and she nuzzles her face against his. “It is you! You’re alive! Lynx, you’re alive!”

And all of the rest of the Watch crowd around her, petting her and hugging her and honestly irritating the shit out of her, because her cat tolerance for being carried and touched by humans has run out several minutes ago, but she puts up with it, because they’re her friends, and she’s finally home.

***

Dr. Ray and Odysseus try to teach her to type. It doesn’t work well, for the same reason she never was able to communicate with Jane that way. They give her a simplified set of communication buttons where she can say about ten different things, which is better than nothing, and they promise her, they’ll keep working to find a way for her to communicate. If she’s lucky, maybe they’ll find a way before she loses the rest of her human mind. Or was that a lie Slither told her to get her to make her more eager to take his offer? She doesn’t have a way to know, because she can’t ask.

Ms. Anthropy goes to jail for her murder. Executive Dysfunction is, as Lynx had suspected, kept in a medically equipped cell in Watch HQ, drugged so that he can’t muster up his powers. It’s cruel, but what else can they do, kill him? He’s too dangerous. Slither escapes, but doesn’t return to the Society of Sin, and word is, they want him dead, so he’s not likely to.

A week after Lynx is back with the Watch, Odysseus brings her a flyer with a picture of a tortoiseshell cat who looks a lot like her on it. “This is a missing cat flyer,” he says. “Says this cat, who looks like you, disappeared the day you returned to us. It says to call someone named Jane if you’re found. Is that who you were staying with?”

Athena meows once and bobs her head. Odysseus asks, “Do you want to go back to her house to say goodbye?”, and she does it again.

And so the next day, she and Odysseus are back at Jane’s house, and Jane is stunned. “Aren’t you – aren’t you Odysseus? The superhero?”

Odysseus nods. “That’s me, ma’am.”

“And you’re bringing me back my cat?” She sounds like she can’t believe it.

“Not… exactly.” Odysseus sets Athena down, where she can’t resist rubbing her face against Jane’s legs. “This cat, who you call Athena, is actually our teammate Lynx. We’ve thought her dead for years, but it turns out, she’s stuck in her cat form.” Lynx wonders why Odysseus is explaining her powers like that, and then she realizes that maybe a cat lover wouldn’t be thrilled with a person who takes over cat minds taking over her pet, even though she’s only been Jane’s pet since she lost her human body.

“Oh my god. My cat is a person? My cat is a superhero?”

“She is, yes. She wanted to come back to say goodbye to you and give you closure.”

Athena rubs against Odysseus’ legs too, trying to send Jane the message that Odysseus is her friend. Jay pokes his head around the corner, and, presumably deciding that if Jane’s so friendly with that man, he’s probably not dangerous to cats, he comes out to smell her breath and rub faces with her. That makes her sad. She can give closure to Jane, but not to Jay; she has no way of telling him that she’s leaving and she’s not coming back.

“Oh, you poor thing… no wonder you always wanted the human food! I’m so sorry.” Jane picks Athena up. “I still have some rotisserie chicken if you’d like?”

Athena nods. Jane’s face lights up. “I had no idea you could do that! Were you deep undercover? Would your enemies have been able to find you if they realized you were a human in a cat body?”

Her enemy had no trouble finding her, and she has no way of explaining to Jane that she’d lost enough of her human memories that she didn’t remember the head-nodding gesture for yes until Odysseus reminded her. It’s all right. Jane brings her some rotisserie chicken, microwaved for 30 seconds to take the refrigerator chill off of it, and Athena tries to eat it slowly, to savor it, but it’s too good. She devours it.

“Thank you for taking such good care of our teammate, ma’am,” Odysseus says.

***

Now that she knows the real Athena is still alive in here, and could be restored to her own cat life if Lynx could just get out of her body, she wants desperately to find a solution. Even a way to jump to a different cat and free Athena, if she can. But she was never able to jump from cat to cat without going through her own body first. Without a human body, she has no way to release Athena short of dying, and she wants to give the cat back her cat life, but not enough to die for it.

Is she losing her mind? Is her intelligence dissolving, crushed under the pressure of being jammed into a tiny cat brain? She doesn’t know, and she has no way to ask the question. Dr. Ray doesn’t seem to have thought it might be an issue – he recognizes that maybe she’s lost some memories, but he doesn’t behave as if Slither’s warning is anything she has to worry about. She wishes she could believe that means he knows about it and doesn’t think it’s a problem, rather than that it’s never occurred to him.

It’s still so lonely living among people she can’t communicate with, but they understand she’s intelligent – mostly anyway – and they’re willing to try to understand her body language. And to make sure she gets chicken dinners, warm ones, whenever she wants. And they’re her friends. They talk about people she knows, situations she was there for, while she sits on their laps and they pet her. It’s better than living entirely as a pet cat, and she knows Ray is trying to find a way to get her into a human body, ethically, and maybe he’ll even do it before she loses her mind or dies of old age.

It’s not really enough. But it’s what she’s got, so she’ll make do.

#52 project #superheroes #cats

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a-milky-strawberry · 6 years ago

Text

Suga x Reader - Cold (2) (Angst/Slight Fluff)

It’s been years since you were discharged from the hospital. The doctor had put you in a therapy program. You were required to meet with a man 3 times a week to discuss your “condition”.Due to the fact you didn’t go to half of them, you now had to have the sessions in your own personal home. Whoopee! At the time your parents were so anxious and frustrated over you that you felt you couldn’t even take a shit without them trying to break down the bathroom door. The last straw was when they told you (not asked you, told you) that they were going to take the hinges off of every door in the house, not including the front or back door. Yep, that meant the bathroom, your room, their room, closets, etc.. You moved out 2 days later. You had found a nice, small apartment that was cheap to the point of being suspicious. There was no kitchen, 1 bathroom, and your living area and bedroom were connected. The only thing you had remotely close to a kitchen was a mini fridge and a hot plate. It was kinda like a studio only smaller.

You weren’t going to do anything stupid with moving out and plus you hadn’t done much of anything since you got discharged. In fact, you had taken temporary leave from school and they understood once word got around about your accident. However, the pity in their eyes made you wanna vomit. You didn’t need their pity, their “how are you feeling today”’s, or the burdensome help. You just wanted to be left the hell alone. Was that really too much to ask? With the money you were saving for grad school you instead used it to get said tiny studio in Jeonju. The tenants were primarily old people but they were nice and it was always quiet. Sometimes you’d joke to yourself if you accidentally rented in a retirement home.

Today the weather was nice and sunny but due to your blackout curtains you could hardly tell. If it weren’t for the small gaps on the side shining a bit of natural light you’d think you lived in eternal darkness. Besides, the T.V. provided enough light for you as you laid on the cool wood floor. You weren’t watching anything in particular, just surfing the channels for anything interesting. A familiar song bombarded your ears and you tune into the screen.

BTS.

If you could’ve rolled your eyes any harder they’d get stuck staring at your brain.

It wasn’t that you despised them now. In fact, you were still on good terms with them. Well, except for that piece of shit moron Suga. You clicked your tongue as that name entered your head as his face shown on your screen. You spit on the name Min Yoongi. Being that you had an extreme allergic reaction to him caused you to miss out on some good songs and concerts. Though you didn;t really care because--

*K-Chlick*

You groaned thinking you had jinxed yourself as your heard your front door being unlocked by a certain spare key.

“HEY!! WAKEY-WAKEY BEST FRIEND!!”

Oh no. Please no.

“WOW! IT’S SUPER DARK IN HERE!”

Your curtains flew upon letting in the blinding rays of death. You curled up in a ball and let of a harsh hiss as you were temporarily blinded.

“THERE! NOW IT’S ALMOST AS BRIGHT AS ME!!”

Sigh. You jinxed it.

J-Hope. Jung Hoseok. Sunshine. Your Hope, Hobi.

Now, you hadn’t given him a spare key specifically. You had given it to Jungkook, your still best friend. He gives it to one of the members in rotation when he doesn’t have enough time to check on you. But now, you have almost every member busting through your day everyday even without warning. However, none of the guys are as loud as J-Hope, but what did you expect?

You felt as if someone was staring at you and it had gotten way too quiet. You peeked open your eyes and saw a smiling Hobi with the sun rays in the background like he was some goddamn angel.

“Hey best friend! Didya miss me? Huh? Huh?! Didya?!”

“As much as I hate to admit it, your presence is very… overpowering.” You sighed.

He dramatically gasped and clutched his heart. “Did I just hear a compliment that wasn’t bitter or sarcastic? Am I dreaming?!”

You groaned at his theatrics. “Don’t push it.”

You then felt some strong back pats and rubs. “Okay, okay. Anyway, I brought you lunch.”

You uncurled and sat up to see a large fast food bag and the smell of salty fries and processed cheese with sweaty meat.

“Lemme guess… McDonald’s? Cheeseburger, medium fries, and a Sprite.”

This man had the nerve to look shocked at your obvious guess. “H-How’d you know?”

“You bring me the same thing every time you come over, Hoseok. At least be original and bring me like a Fillet Fish or something.”

Hoseok chuckled embarrassed and scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

You turned your attention back to your T.V. and changed the channel to a random sitcom that played. “You can have it. I’m not hungry.”

Hoseok frowned. “Are you not eating again?”

You rolled your eyes. “First off, just because I was lazy not to walk alllll the way to the kitchen at my parent’s house doesn’t mean I was unintentionally not eating. Second off, no dummy, I just went out last night and picked up some street food. I had some leftover this morning too, so I’m not all that hungry.”

You side-eyed the greasy food on the floor. “Plus, if I eat another McDonald’s cheeseburger again I’m gonna be sick.”

Hoseok laughed. “Fair enough.” He gathered the fast food bag and put it in your fridge for “that special midnight craving”.

As he was heading towards the door, he stopped and looked back.

“Hey, ummm… (Y/N)?”

“Uh-huh?” I answered still watching the sitcom.

“There’s gonna be a concert tomorrow night. And I was wondering… if you wanted to come this time.”

Here we go again. Anytime the guys would visit they would try to convince you to get out of the house to go to either their concerts, after parties, movie nights, and it didn’t matter where you were, on the toilet, in the shower, night outs, lunch, dinner, brunch, you name it. A tiny part of you wants to go, like it’s still clings to who you once were. But, the rest of you doesn’t want to exist socially and you feel like if you see Suga nothing’s gonna stop your fists from colliding on his cheek.

“Probably not--”

“Please (Y/N). I’m begging you.” He was now fully turned towards you and on his knees. “We haven’t been able to be all together or see you as much since you moved out from your parents and we miss you.”

You stayed silent.

“Everyone is so worried about you. Even Bang PD-nim. Everyone misses you and they want to see how you’re doing. Please (Y/N).”

You felt this weird pain in your chest. Almost like your heart was clenching tight at his plea. Why did you feel pain over this?

“I didn’t ask for ANYONE to be worried about me. I’m FINE!” you snapped. You didn’t mean to snap at him or was it that you didn’t mean to be defensive? Why were you getting so in a knot over this? Just tell him no like you have multiple times. Or was this feeling because you wanted to go? It’s now making your head hurt over how stupidly convoluted your overthinking was.

Hoseok sighed. “If you won’t come for us, then please visit Yeontan.”

Yeontan? V’s puppy?

“I know you saw on Twitter that he got a puppy. Don’t you want Yeontan to meet his auntie?”

Well,... you had been wanting to meet that fluff ball too and the pictures you saw on Twitter made you have a case of FOMO big time. He was the only one that made a small smile appear on your lips and a twinge of happiness in your heart.

You sighed. “Maybe.” you mumbled as you closed your blackout curtains back.

Hoseok was silent for a while before heavy stomps made their way towards you and you were lifted off the ground. “FOR REAL?! OH THANK YOU (Y/N)!!” he screamed as he lunged forward and picked you up in celebration. “YOU WON’T REGRET THIS IS SWEAR!”

“Put. Me. Down. You. ANIMAL!” you yelped. “I’m getting nauseous!”

Hoseok put you down and ran towards the door. “Just wait until I tell the guys about this! They’re gonna be sooo psyched!”

“Dumbass! I said--” the door slammed closed with Hoseok already gone “maybe…”

You clicked your tongue at his brashness. You never fully agreed to go. He was blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Besides, how’d he even think you were going to get it? The concert is tomorrow night. If there is a ticket out there it probably costs an arm and a leg to get it. And that’s not counting if it’s also fake. You groaned in frustration and fell to the floor already tired of the day’s events. You felt your eyelids grow heavy and decided on a cat nap. You crawled over to your mattress and pushed it closer to the T.V. You laid on top and wrapped yourself in a warm weighted blanket and snuggled into your pillow. Before you knew it, you were fast asleep.

---

It was the night of the concert and you were staring at the ceiling in the dark. Why was yesterday’s talk with Hoseok bothering you so much? You hadn’t stopped thinking about it since he left and it was honestly giving you a headache.

*Grooowl*

Your stomach cut through the silence. You lazily crawled over to the fridge and winced at the bright light and shivered from the cool air. There wasn’t much, except the greasy bag of McDonald’s Hoseok had given you yesterday. Sighing, and praying that you don’t get an upset stomach, you took the bag and opened it.

You pulled out some fries and them being illuminated by the fridge light was a ticket and a backstage pass sticking out of it. You automatically groaned and took them both out. What also caught your eye was on the fries bag was written: ‘PLEASE!’ You pulled out the chicken nuggets: ‘PLEASE!’ The cheeseburger: ‘PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!’

Your eye twitched in annoyance. He really was trying here. You looked back at the ticket and then at your phone.

“The concert’s already started… Is there any point in going anymore? Plus, I didn’t even promise that I would even go…”

You looked back at the pleading food and remembered Hoseok’s face when he collapsed on his hands and knees. And even when you told him ‘maybe’ he looked so happy. He would want me to go for even a little while, right? You sighed, got up on your feet, and walked over to your closet.

“Where’d I put that hoodie?”

---

You were now standing outside the stadium already regretting your choices of being outside. You had drove nearly 3 hours from home to this concert and you were already having second thoughts. You suddenly had a stomach-churning flashback as you remembered what they’re concerts are like. It’s hot and loud and sweaty and full of screams; both fanboys and fangirls. You shivered and shrugged it off. You were more than late to the concert. You already knew how this would plan out. They’d tell you it was too late, you’d text Hoseok saying you were late and couldn’t get it, and that you would be the end of it. You’d go back to your bed where things were nice and quiet. At least, that’s what you thought…

“Oh, Miss (Y/N)! You finally arrived! I thought you were having second thoughts!”

A perky woman in the ticket booth greeted you happily and took your ticket. How did she--

“How do you know my name?”

“Oh! From BTS, of course. They told me you’d be arriving and gave me a picture as reference. Though, I must admit you do look a little different. But anyways, they told me to let you in no matter what!”

You internally screamed. Of course. That loud mouth J-Hope must’ve gone and run his mouth to every and anyone. Idiot. What if I hadn’t shown up or threw out that McDonald’s? Wait… does that mean he knows I’m--

“Here you are! Enjoy the show!” the woman said giving me back the ticket stub.

I muttered a thanks and went in. You were more towards the front and that meant you’d be pushed and shoved by the mosh of fangirls. Before opening the concert door, you took a deep breath. You could already hear the soft roar of the fans. Maybe they’ll be singing Heartbeat and it’ll be calm when you walk in.

You opened the door and your ears were immediately assaulted with the unholiest of screeches. They weren’t singing Heartbeat. You slammed closed the door and tried to steady your already hyperventilating breathing. God! Were these concerts always this loud?! How were you not deaf?! Okay, okay, okay… this won’t be that bad. Just go in, stay for about 30 minutes, take a picture, send it to the guys, and get the hell out of here. You breathed in once more ready for the game plan and opened the door once more.

You walked down the stairs and found your row. Being meek and polite, you made your way through the horde and found your spot. You looked up at the bright lights that displayed the dancing group. They were singing Dionysus and of course they were giving it 110% almost matching the same volume as the fans. ‘This song… ah… from the new album…’ You tried your best to endure the loud volume and you bobbed your head to the lyrics. Even if your worst enemy was up there, you should at least enjoy the music. The next song to play was HOME which was your favorite because it was nice and slow. The vocals on Jimin, V, and Namjoon were so beautifully woven that you couldn’t help but sway. You looked at Jimin as he sang. ‘Ah… how cute… oh! I should take a picture…’ You took out your phone and as soon as you were going to press the button someone slammed you from behind causing you to drop it. ‘Shit!’ Not worrying about who pushed you, you bent down and started looking. You were getting glares and whispered comments about your situation during such an emotional and beautiful song. You ignored them and kept looking. It was too dark and you could barely see anything apart from the soft glow of the Army Bombs and shoes.

“Excuse me?” said a male voice.

You looked up to see a nice looking boy holding something. “Are you looking for this?” It was your phone! You quickly stood up and nodded. As he handed you the phone he gave you a wink and a chuckle. “I drop my phone sometimes at so many concerts I’d hate for it to happen to someone else. Hold it tight, kay cutie?”

You felt your face go red and I bowed a quick thanks as you went back to your spot. No way… Did that guy just make you… blush?! You shook your head and went back to the task at hand, taking the picture. As you raised your phone up, you saw that Jimin was making a passionate face. Smirking, you took a pic. ‘I bet if I post this…. That’ll be hilarious!’

As the concert came to an end you had a feeling of slight sadness. You had enjoyed the new songs and the silly antics they did. You also saw how dedicated they had become and how grown and strong they looked. Maybe Jungkook was right. It wouldn’t hurt to pop in every now and again. The stadium was clearing out and you sighed and looked at your backstage pass. Then, you had a question that should’ve been asked before coming: Since when did BTS start doing backstage passes? Where would you even go? As you walked up to the silver gate that protected the security and BTS, a security guard walked up to you.

“Miss (Y/N)?” he asked.

Of course it had something to do with J-Hope. “Let me guess. BTS told you about me?”

He nodded and held out his hand. You gave him the pass and he nodded again. “Please follow me.” You took his hand and he helped you over the gate. Some leftover fans stared in disbelief at the fact you were personally being escorted backstage. Walking back there gave you a since nostalgia. Meeting the guys after the concert, congratulating them, going out to eat as celebration and relaxation. Your heart twinged at the memories, but you tried to shrug it off. You were going to see them after a long time. This is a happy thing, right? Happiness…

“We’re here.” spoke the security guard as he opened the door to the green room. The guys weren’t there yet. “You can wait here.”

I said a polite thank you and walked around the room. It was so much bigger. Your boys were getting so popular… Well, they deserved it. As you looked around the room, a cage caught your eye. Curious, you bent down and looked inside. “Yeontan?” The dog seemed to recognize its name and lifted its head. You opened the cage and Yeontan walked up to you, sniffing. You picked up the tiny fluff ball in awe and held it close to your face. “Aww!” you screamed. “Aren’t you just about the cutest thing ever! Who's a good boy?!”

Your words got Yeontan hyped up and he started licking your face. You smiled brightly at the cutie. This was so much better than looking at his pictures on Twitter. “You’re a good boy! Yes, you are! You look like a tiny chocolate chip cookie! I could just eat you up but I wouldn’t because you’d be too sweet!”

“(Y/N)?” called a voice. You looked towards the door and saw all the members staring. All of them. You felt nervous and your stomach started churning again. It’s been years since you’d seen them all together. You normally saw them one at a time, but that didn’t mean you saw them everyday. You had seen one member every few months if you were lucky. They looked tired and Jungkook looked more like an adult. Those pictures on Twitter don’t do him justice. What would you even say to them? What do you say in a situation like this?

“Didja miss me?” Smooth (Y/N), real smooth.

Suddenly, all at once, the members group hugged you and started talking over each other.

“See I told you she’d come--”

“Of course we missed you idiot--”

“You’ve missed so much--”

“We’ve miss you so much--”

“Have you been eating?”

“You look sooo skinny--”

“You playing with Yeontan was sooooo cuuuuuttteeeee--”

You pushed back from the group hug and grinned. “Yeah, yeah… I missed you guys too. You look so mature now.”

“How was the concert?! Didja like it?! Didja love it?! Oh who am I kidding? Of course, you loved it! You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t love it! Didja like our songs?!” Jungkook rattled off a hundred words a minute.

“Jungkook, calm down. You’re going too fast for her to answer.” said Namjoon. “Did you enjoy the concert (Y/N)? We wanted you to be comfortable but thought putting you in VIP would make you irritated.”

“Well, I only caught the middle of Mikrokosmos and to be honest,” you said as they got nervous, “HOME is now officially my new favorite song.”

“Really? You liked it?”Namjoon asked. You nodded. “My favorite vocals were Jimin, V, and you, Namjoon.”

As the guys talked amongst themselves, you glanced a saw a lone figure standing far from the group. Your grin turned sour as you two made eye contact. “H-Hey (Y/N).” The group turned to see your reaction. You turned your attention back to Yeontan still in your arms and looked at V.

“V, where’d you find this cutie? He’s so adorable!”

Deciding not to make the situation awkward, he answered. “Oh, I got him back in 2017. He is adorable huh?”

“Um… (Y/N)-”

“Where do you find time to take care of him? Ooh! Does he tour with you guys? Like a secret member or something?”

“(Y/N)-”

“Hehe, unfortunately no. He lives with my parents for now because of my busy schedule.”

“Ah, I see. I did see that on Twitter. He lived with you guys at first right?”

V nodded. “Yeah, but when J-Hope told us you’d come to the concert I thought you might want to meet him.”

You smiled and snuggled into Yeontan’s fur. “Well, I’m glad I came. And if you ever need a babysitter for this cutie--”

“You don’t mind?”

“Of course not! From now on, he’s family. Plus, it might liven up my room to have a cute puppy in there before getting one of my own.”

“You’re thinking of getting a puppy?” asked Jimin.

You smiled. “Maybe.”

“You know,” spoke Namjoon, “it’s been forever since I’ve seen that smile.”

You felt your face. You were smiling. Why now? You looked down at Yeontan.

“My dog is magic!!” V shouted, hugging you.

You brushed him off and grinned. “Yeah, maybe he is…”

---

You stayed for a few minutes and talked and played with Yeontan all while avoiding a certain someone. You put Yeontan down and stood up.

“Well, I better get going. It’s pretty late…”

Jungkook shot up. “So soon?”

You nodded. “I’ve done a lot today and I forgot how much a concert takes out of me. I forgot how loud and rowdy they were. I’m exhausted.”

You yawned as you were saying goodbye Jimin caught your hand. “You’ll visit, right? I mean, will you be coming back anymore?”

Then Jungkook grabbed your other hand. “J-Hope hyung told us that maybe you’d open back up and hang out with us and eat dinner with us like you used to? Are you going back to avoiding us? Avoiding me?”

You felt a break in your heart. All those times they invited you out over the years you saw as a burden and troublesome for the awkward tension between you and Min Yoongi. When it fact, you had hurt them. You had moved 2 hours away from them. They wanted you and you were too selfish to even consider that you should just ignore the hatred in your heart for Min Yoongi.

“Well,” you said softly, “being here brought back a lot of memories. Some good, some bad. Listening to your music again, seeing your passionate faces, watching you guys have fun were one of the many enjoyments I had at your concerts. So…”

You let out a sigh and squeezed Jimin and Jungkook’s hand. “I can’t promise I’ll begin saying yes to outings. My anxiety has gotten really bad over the years and like I said, being here brought some bad memories. I also live far away. But… I would like to be here for you guys again…!”

The members consumed you in a group hug and you left saying goodbye to all but one.

---

As you walked down the street, away from the concert you felt a little happy. ‘Maybe the reason I didn’t want to go out was because of my anxiety. Maybe should’ve stayed with that therapist. I think I still have their number somewhere. Maybe I should give them a call for more meetings. No. I will call them. First thing in the morning.’

As you were having these thoughts, you had the feeling you were being watched. You glanced back and didn’t see anyone. ‘I really should head home. There are always creeps at this time of night.’ As you sped up the sound of shoes speeding up caught your attention. ‘It’s just your imagination. Just the dark playing tricks. There’s no one there.’ You glanced back but this time you saw a shadowy figure following right behind. Following your instincts, you immediately booked it. The person had the same idea and ran after you. Breathing heavy and the sound of harsh footsteps sent fear through you. Why?! Why was this person following you?! No-- chasing you?! A sasaeng fan?! The thought sent you running faster. As you made it towards a more populated area with cars, you glanced back. All of of sudden honking. A car’s headlights. You froze.

Suddenly, you pulled back onto the sidewalk as the car zoomed by. You whipped your head back to see Min Yoongi, panting and sweating.

“IDIOT! WHY DID YOU JUST STAND THERE?! DID YOU WANT TO GET HIT AGAIN?!” he shouted.

“IDIOT?! ME?! I WAS RUNNING TO GET AWAY AND I DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO--”

Wait. Panting. Sweating. Stage clothes still on. Hat and face mask sloppily thrown on.

“WHERE YOU FOLLOWING ME?! WHERE YOU THE ONE CHASING ME?!”

He went silent.

“Oh my god! You fucking stalker!”

“I’m not a stalker!”

“Oh really?! Let’s assess the situation. It’s nighttime and extremely dark. The only source of light from the stadium to the this main street is a bunch of street lights. Oh! And when I started running, the first thing out of your mouth wasn’t, “Hey (Y/N)!”. It was to run after me like some deranged psycho! Did I also mention IT’S NIGHTTIME! I bunch of fucking weirdos walk around and you expect me to know it was you!”

Your rant made Min Yoongi’s eyes widen and a few onlookers were staring as they passed by. “I-I didn’t think about that…”

You scoffed. “Oh, just like how you weren’t thinking when you told me to disappear and I got hit by that fucking truck? Or when you had the gall to show to the hospital and proclaim your love for me after all you said to my face?!”

He winced. “I said I was sorry--”

“Sorry doesn’t mean shit when your family thinks you should be on some kind of list and your best friends think that for the past 2 years they were the problem and that I was avoiding them! Don’t you realize what you’ve done?!”

You couldn’t stop them from coming. You had tried avoiding this and still the tears you swore to never show had reared its ugly head.

“D-Don’t you realize what your coldness has done to me…?” you hiccuped and sniffled. “I rarely go outside because I was afraid-- I am afraid that someone is going to hurt me and look down on me the same way you did! And then you have the nerve to save me this time, how dare you! How DARE YOU, MIN YOONGI! WHERE WERE YOU THE FIRST TIME!!”

The street grew quiet. Onlookers were now fully staring and little crowd had gathered. Whispering, pointing, gasping.

“You know… for the first time in years since my accident, I actually had fun today. I heard beautiful music, I got to see my closest friends, and I even smiled.”

You looked him in the eye. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve smiled?”

He didn’t answer.

“A really, really, really, really, long time.”

“(Y/N), I--”

“Save it, okay. I’ve spent way too long hating myself and hating everything because of you. Because of your coldness. I thought that if I behaved as cold as you, nothing would get too close to my heart and I wouldn’t be hurt anymore.”

“(Y/N), please--”

“But after seeing the pain of my friends faces, I’m done being cold. I’m done obsessing over my hatred over you. You’ve eaten up so much of my life before and even after my incident that I need to move on. I guess I never truly moved on, even after all that’s happened. I need to get my life back on track. I need to mend some fences that my coldness have frozen.”

You sighed and wiped your tears. “I’m done with you. Goodbye.”

You walked past the small crowd and made way home. You felt lighter. Better. All those emotions that you shoved and locked deep down came out and you couldn’t help but feel better. You’ve felt so many emotions today. Maybe you can feel something. Maybe it just took one emotion to overpower the others. Hatred. Sadness. Heartbroken. You remember the day of the incident. You felt such sadness and hatred that you didn’t want your tears to flow. Well, now they did. Maybe this is a good thing.

No-- this is a good thing.

- - -

holy shit. has it really been 2 years since the first one. okay! so! I know promised you guys like months ago that this shit would be out by the weekend but college has been absolutely kicking my ass. like holy shit. tbh i didn’t even think you guys liked the first one. but after seeing that people wanted a sequel here you go! i’m sorry that it’s so goddamn long. it’s been a while since i had to write about something else that wasn’t an essay. anyways, here you guys are! i think i might turn this scenario into a multi-part series, who knows. i will try to upload more consistent and give you guys more kpop scenarios and i might start doing reactions too. my ask box is open if you guys have any suggestions. later noonas and oppas. peace out!

#bts scenarios #suga #suga scenarios #suga angst #min yoongi #min yoongi scenarios #min yoongi angst #BTS kpop #bts armys #bts angst #slight fluff #fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #bangtang boys

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purplesurveys · 6 years ago

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494

Do you own a pink toaster? No, I don’t. I probably won’t get one either even though I like the color pink. Do you live by yourself? No. I still live with my family at home and would probably live like this until a couple years into my first job when I can afford to move out. Do you shower everyday? If I have to be in school, yes. But on my off days I let myself skip a day. Is English your native language? No. I was raised in a Filipino-speaking home, so I learned English in school, by reading, or from cartoons. Do you like cleaning? If it doesn’t feel like a chore.

Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? Do you hear any music now? Nope, I just hear my really loud aircon. Do you watch PewDiePie? He’s my go-to channel when I’m upset and need lots of cheering up, but right now I’m not as updated with his material. Are you married? Nope, that’s quite a long way from here my friend hahaha. Do you like Despacito? I never really liked songs I couldn’t understand. Do you drink coffee? As much as I can. It’s my bloodstream. Do you know any Swedish words? Only cuss words because PewDiePie used to swear in Swedish in his old videos lmfao. He did also use to say “sluta,” which I think he translated to “stop” or “stop it.” Maybe @badsurveyshit can help me out! Hahaha. Do you play Pokemon Go? Only when it was like crazy popular three years ago. My phone died soon after that and when I got a new one, I couldn’t be bothered to revisit it. Do you think you're fat? No, but I think I’m too thin. Did you ever color your hair pink? I haven’t and I dunno if I would. Do you press Caps Lock or hold Shift for capital letters? I do Caps Lock. I never did get used to just holding Shift. Do you own any pop figures? Nope. But I’ve given it as a gift. All of the possible spaces in my room are just kinda filled up at the moment and I’m not sure if a Funko will stand out here. Do you like Dr. Phil? I like his show, mostly because PewDiePie will sometimes do reaction videos to ridiculous bratty guests from the show. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Depends on my mood. I can be both, really. Do you drink energy drinks? No. They smell like pure sugar and it’s super sticky and I feel like my body would implode if I drink a bottle lmao. Do you eat meat? Yep. Do you need to do the dishes? Nope. Do you have any posters in your room? I have one. But I also have several frames of Audrey Hepburn and one painting that Gabie bought me me, and another painting that she herself made. How old were you in 2010? I was 12. Are you scared of clowns? I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen one IRL...they always seem to be like a Western media thing. We don’t have circuses or anything like that, and parents don’t usually get clowns for their kids’s parties. Who is your favorite youtuber? Probably Shane Dawson because he’s so goddamn versatile and is great at being it. He’s managed to evolve from comedy skits to watching things explode in the microwave and making giant pumpkin spice milkshakes to explainers for conspiracy theories and alien sightings to casual vlogs to full fucking length documentaries about real-life people and said conspiracies. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? No. I don’t want to have any, I just use my channel so that YouTube knows what material I’m into haha. Do you believe in ghosts? I do. Do you salt your popcorn? Yessssss. The more the better. Do you like McDonalds? I can take it or leave it. They have a really boring menu. Do you have a Steam account? I don’t. Is the sun shining right now? It’s a little cloudy at the moment but I’m sure it’ll peak out in a minute or two. What time is it? 8:59 AM while I’m typing this down. How much battery do you have on your phone? 16%, oops. What device are you using while taking this survey? I’m always on my laptop when taking surveys. Do you brush your teeth everyday? Yes, but I’ll occasionally forget. Do you bite your nails? Only if I’m starting to get increasingly anxious or overwhelmed over something. Do you like gaming? I like *watching* people play (which stems back to my childhood when ALL the boys and men in the house knew how to play video games and it would always be a bonding thing for us), but I can’t figure out video games myself to save my life. What's the first word that comes to your mind if I say: Boop! Hannah Hart. What month is it? It’s already July, what the hell? Do you like reading books? I used to...I think I mostly got disinterested because there was a time when the popular books that kept coming out were all fantasy or dystopian, e.g. Percy Jackson, I Am Number Four, The Hunger Games. By the time the more IRL-based fictional works came out, like the John Green works, reading had already become a little boring for me. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy's? Nope. And I don’t think I would want to lol. Watching people play it is enough. Do you like horror movies? Love them, it used to be my favorite genre until the industry just kept making a bunch of remakes of already-great horror flicks. Is your favorite animal a dog? Yes. Do you have a pet cat? My sister does, but since she’s living in a dorm for college all of us have at home have to take care of her. Do you like chicken nuggets? Meh, I can also take it or leave it. I like chicken fingers better. What color is the ceiling in the room? White. Do you own a car? I drive one, but my parents bought it. What age do you turn on your next birthday? 22. Do you like religion? Not really. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. I used it a whole lot when it was new. Tbh I’d still pass by it sometimes these days if I was in the mood for it to guess what I was thinking. Do you like Grand Theft Auto V? Yes, there’s always something to do on that game haha.

Are you wearing socks right now? I am not, but I probably will later when I head out to school.

Do you have a headache? Not right now. Do you cry a lot? Hahahaha yep, I really do. Can you twerk? I never tried. Do you like dabbing? Nope. Name four things in the room. An electric fan, a pack of microwavable popcorn, a plate of sisig, and a glass of water. Can money buy you happiness? It definitely could. What was the last country you visited? China. Do you like fishing? I’ve never fished before. Do you want to be famous? It’s a nice thought, but I don’t actively want it. Do you have any siblings? Yes. Have you ever been to a funeral? No. I’ve been to wakes though. Do you have a Spotify account? I have my own, but I stopped using the one meant for me because Gabie lets me use her premium account. Have you heard of Blizzard Entertainment? I’ve heard of it, but I don’t know much about them. Do you drink milk? I can’t drink milk. Are you tired? A little bit, yes. Do you like bananas? I don’t like fruits. Are you addicted to anything? Nope. Are you in love? Sure. What's the temperature outside? It looks like it’ll be humid today. Do you like snow? I’ve never seen it. Where are you from? Manila. Would you rather Play, Pause, Rewind, Fast Forward or Stop? Fast forward. Do you know your phone number? ??? Yes I do. What do you think of Fifty Shades of Grey? Never cared for it. Do you swear in front of children? Nope. Is my grammar fine? Sure.

#survey #surveys

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years ago

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Survey #205

forget picking song lyrics, i’m going the hell to bed now.

Do you live by yourself? I live with my mom. Do you like cleaning? Does anyone???? Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I've never watched the series; not even a single movie, actually. So I don't have an opinion. Do you watch PewDiePie? Extremely rarely. He's funny, but I'm not interested in his channel's content anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" My sister showed it to me once when she learned I'd never heard it, and I found zero appeal in it whatsoever. Do you play Pokemon Go? It's a brilliant idea, and I really do wish I could play it, but here where I live, there are like ZERO PokeStops (where you get Pokeballs), even in cities, so it's pretty much impossible. Did you ever color your hair pink? No. Do you like Dr. Phil? I don't watch the show and don't know him as a person. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Inside. Do you eat meat? Sadly. I'm HOPEFULLY quitting when I get to the weight I want; I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed when I was vegetarian to where my body was desperately clinging to what it had or something like that (basically, my weight wouldn't budge in a couple of months), but even still, I don't know if I could do it without depriving myself again. I'm just such a picky eater. Do you need to do the dishes? Yeah. Not desperately, but. Are you scared of clowns? No. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? *checks* A very impressive 66. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you like McDonald's? Don't even lie to me, you'll eat there. I don't mind it at all. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Do you like gaming? Not as much as I used to, but yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. I don't consider jumpscares to be genuinely "scary," but rather a natural reaction to surprise, but FNAF's are intense, and I know they'd have me jumping like crazy. That aside, the games aren't of my personal appeal to actually play (though it's a fun game to watch). Do you like horror movies? Yes. Do you like chicken nuggets? I love me my chicken nuggies hunty. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. Can you twerk? I don't know and don't care to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. The meme of it makes me laugh, though. What was the last country you visited? I've never left the country. Do you know your phone number? No, actually. It is incredibly difficult for me to memorize sequences, and besides, it's not like I give out my number almost ever. Do you swear in front of children? No. What’s your opinion on Brexit? Shit, I don't even remember what it's about. So obviously I can't have an opinion. It doesn't affect me, anyway. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? N/A When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, and you'll never see me willingly eat a bean. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? The two that sharply stand out to me are dissecting an owl pellet in elementary and a frog in middle school. Both were SO cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Excitement. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? Only ever if it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I ate. And even then, only sometimes. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? Nothing severe, besides pollen allergies flaring up. What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Hard. Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? Mom, but she was more than frustrated. We were having a serious fight about her attitude towards Dad and his wife. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Anti-vax shitlords. What’s your phone background? Lock screen is Darkiplier, home screen is Sara kissing my forehead. :'> Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? A billion cats, dogs, snakes, lizards, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, fish, box turtles, hermit crabs... and probably more. How well do you understand economics? Have you ever taken an econ class? Not well at ALL. I had one my senior year. What was the last fruit you ate? I had two bites out of a watermelon 'cuz I was really hungry, but we didn't really have anything as a snack. (I fast daily, so I have to watch when my meals are.) I'm not a big watermelon fan, but I hadn't tried these cubes before, and at least it was something. Can you remember your first day of school? I believe I can very faintly... very faintly. I think I had a complete breakdown because of my insane separation anxiety regarding my mom, or it was the complete opposite... alskdfjaweiajr it's like I can kinda see it in the back of my head, but it's super blurry. What’s your favorite movie? The Lion King. It was my favorite as a kid and became so again as an adult just truly acknowledging how damn good and meaningful it is. Plus the soundtrack was a banger. Would you rather jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving? Scuba diving. Do you get bored looking at other peoples’ holiday pictures? Eh. If it's a whole lot, yes, but as a photographer, I enjoy noting which ones I like and why I favor them. Do you give money to charity? Not currently, no. I have no money to give. When I do have a paying job, I plan on definitely donating any time Mark does a charity stream. Are you more into music or movies? Music, easily. When was the last time you went to a swimming pool? WOW. It's been years. Either when I still lived in the apartment or once at Colleen's in-laws', I can't remember which was last. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet turtle? I have a snake, and I'll take another for sure. Have you ever seen a band live? Who was the last you saw? Just Alice Cooper. Ma and I are seeing Ozzy next year (if the poor man ain't dead), tho!!!! And he's gonna be with Judas Priest and Megadeth. We are NOT going to survive. Do people who use massive amounts of emoticons annoy you? Yes. Emojis, more specifically. If you're writing a sentence and you use an emoji after each and every goddamn word, it drives me up a wall. What was the last clothing item you bought? Underwear, I believe? Or a bra? What does your washing powder smell like? Idk. Normal? Do you have a dishwasher or do you do dishes by hand? By hand, which I cannot explain how much I loathe. It feels disgusting. Are there any cobwebs in your room? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever used a pick-up line and had it work? Ew, I'd never use one to begin with. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No to both. The current modelling industry is so, so harmful. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Like around two years ago, I remember going on a mass destruction episode of those super old things, as they embarrassed me horribly, even though I know it had no real reason. Just everything I create embarrasses me. My mom has old school stuff, though. Who did you last have an argument with? Mom today. When was the last time you cooked for yourself? If you include putting things in the microwave with few steps... not that long ago. Maybe two days back. Do you have a safe? Mom does. When was the last time you saw a relative? Mooonths ago when Grammy and her husband were driving through. My brother and his son are visiting real soon, though!! Do you shout out the answers at quiz shows? Yes, lol. Have you ever been in a TV audience? I've been to like three-four hockey games, so yeah. Have you ever entered the lottery? Won anything? No. Well, Mom or Dad would rarely get those scratch-off tickets at random, but the most we've ever got was just like five bucks or so. Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Have you ever drawn on a wall in your house? No. Do you like making collages? No. Have you ever kept a scrapbook? Yeah. What’s your favorite video-game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Sigh, I want a PS4 SO bad to get the SotC remaster. I actually teared up when I saw the opening cutscene for the first time, and I just marveled through the EEEEEEENNNNtire playthrough I watched. It's unbelievable. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? Not off the top of my head. I'm tired, don't make me think. Have you ever made up a word? Well, as a writer, I've made up names and places. A word itself, I don't think so. Do you get nervous speaking to people you don’t know on the phone? VERY!!!!!!!! Are you scared of anything irrational? You mean like, half my fears? Do you have a passport? What’s the picture like? No. Have you ever had a full fringe? (bangs) As a kid I did. Is there anything you would never admit to liking? Don't think so. What’s the weirdest craze you can remember? Fidget spinners. Do you use bug spray or fly swatters? Fly swatters. Then we also have this hanging cylindrical sticky... thing that flies and gnats are apparently attracted to with the smell, I guess. Works like magic, though I agree it's pretty cruel. Just stuck there until you die. Are you a clumsy person? Boy, am I. Do you have tiled floors in your house? In three rooms. Do you listen to any movie soundtracks regularly? No. Do you bruise easily? Way too easily. Like normally something simple won't leave behind an obvious one, but even a normal poke in the arm hurts a lot and leaves the spot sore for a good while. I was tested for anemia, but apparently, I don't have it. What would you love to learn to do? Play the electric guitar. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Ehhh... lemurs as far as cute goes, monkeys overall. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot. Do you have any phone charms on your mobile? No. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? That's a big 'ole honkin' nope. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar? No. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor? Vanilla. Though sometimes I prefer chocolate. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Only for dinner. I forgot the science behind it, but one of my meds for bipolarity only works to its full effect after ingesting at least 350 calories; I only get about a 20% effectiveness of the medicine when eating less. I know it sounds weird, but my psychiatrist is a goddamn genius, and I trust every word that comes out of his mouth. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Two years ago when I was living with Colleen and I didn't have a blow-up mattress yet. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? When???????????????? do I?????????????? not???????????????????????????????????? Do you wear flip-flops? That's pretty much all I wear just about year-round... I remember in 7th grade, one of my teachers asked me about it a lot and I just told her I didn't mind the cold, which was true. Pretty sure she thought I was lying and was too poor to buy new clothes or something, as she gifted me socks one day, which I thought was incredibly sweet. I miss my 7th grade teachers. Best school year. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Pretty sure my niece Aubree when saying bye. What is your favorite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Normal Prego sauce, I think. Have you ever seen a magic show? A little one as a kid. When was the last time you vomited and why? Months and months ago when I was testing a medication. Quit that shit real fast, as it made me sick so many times. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Uhhh I eat in my bed usually, lmao. We almost never sit at the table. I normally do if Mom's there, though. How often do you get headaches? Ugh, often. Why did you call the last person you called? I was calling back about my job application that I was supposed to hear about yesterday. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Do you have Facebook friends that you’ve never actually met? Yes. When was the last time you had your photo taken professionally? Not since senior pictures, pretty sure. I hated how it came out. I have a lazy eye when I smile, gah. How long does it take you to get to school or work? Currently N/A. Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both female, so. And neither of us want kids anyway. When was the last time you completely broke down? A couple weeks ago in a totally random and severe panic attack. Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Yeah. Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? No. I'm not gonna, say, murder someone just because they want me to. What’s something you really want right now? To go and get my tattoo cleaned up by a more professional artist alsdkjfalwei. I got the approximate cost, I just have to wait until I can afford it. This tattoo is so so so important to me and it needs to be perfect. What is your relationship status? Taken. What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person? Not even two weeks lmao. I said yes to dating mostly out of fear of hurting his feelings, and he QUICKLY proved he was NOT for me. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, my iTunes is on shuffle. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? I wouldn't want to be friends I don't think, but I REALLY want to see Jason one final time to tell him how sorry I am. I recently acknowledged just how fucked up I treated him after the breakup; he wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I sure as hell did. He deserves to hear it badly. I do believe our last talk was a good ending, but I feel me finally admitting that I fucked up would be the perfect one. What was the best thing that happened to you today? Seeing Dad for his birthday. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I talk-talked to some WoW friends a couple days ago, though very very briefly. I couldn't figure Discord push-to-talk out and I ended up panicking lmao. What color are the last new pair of pants that you bought? Black. Is your room clean? I should dust and vacuum, but the latter doesn't currently work. List all the countries you’ve visited. I've never left America. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Shit, whenever they wanted tbh. So long they sounded serious about it and it wasn't just a brief episode of "oh this would be cool." Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Hm. Wendy's or Sonic. When was the last time you weren’t lonely? Jesus fucking Christ, who knows. What kind of movies do you like? Horror, fantasy, Disney/kids' films, comedies, rom coms, and emotionally moving ones. Bats are not spooky or are they? They're adorable, omg. Do you think blue is a gay color? Fuck off. What's your opinion on gays? Fuck off harder. Do you like the song "Womanizer"? Don't even talk to me if you don't. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You can't live your fullest life without having Bojangle's fries at least once. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Idk. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Sara. What was the last fast food item you ate? A hot dog. What is your favorite gaming console? You know PS2 was the best, you know it. What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh, if that even counts. Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? No. Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? I hate everything pumpkin-flavored. Is there an antique store in your town or city? I think so... Have you ever been to a baby shower? My sister's. Maybe others', but idr. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Pretty sure yes. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Genuinely "romantic" ones, two. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am 99% sure I am the pickiest human being to ever live. Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard? Not a built-in one. What color is your toothbrush? Blue. Do you have gluten intolerance or know anyone who does? I know a few people. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? No. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you avoid conflict as much as possible? YUP. Do you like ice cream cake? I'm not a big fan. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Yes. Where is your second home!? The place I'm second-most comfortable is probably Sara's. What song always makes you sad? I avoid listening to "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides unless I just really, really want to hear it. I always tear up due to memories. Have you ever played a game that required removing your clothes? No. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Breasts and neck. Were you mean as a little kid? No. Who was the last person you hung out with? Dad. What is your mother’s name? Donna. What is your favorite song at the moment? I've been in true love with a heavy metal cover of "Invincible" from the WoW soundtrack for like a full month. What day will you never forget? The breakup night. Suicide attempt. My niece and nephew being born. Meeting Sara. Getting Teddy. First time hanging out at Jason's. 16th birthday. Alice Cooper concert. Putting Dale and Cali down. There's a lot. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Some crazy shit on FB to show Sara. Something you're looking forward to? Getting a goddamn job. What is God teaching you right now? Lul. What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? I was devastated to hear about it; it was the one event that actually got me paying attention to the news. It is a monument of incredible art and history, and for Catholics, a house of their god. I am so thankful the damage wasn't too tremendous. What’s the last dumb decision you made that you beat yourself up over? I dunno. Surprisingly. What’s your favorite version of the Bible to read? N/A If applicable, do you underline verses in your Bible? N/A When was the last time you went to church? Not since Colleen had her extreme Christian phase two years ago. What’s the last song you listened to on repeat? "Radio" by Rammstein. That new album's gonna be bangin'. Does your town’s hospital have a good reputation? NOPE. It sure does not. I have no issue with the psychiatric care unit there, though. Every time I went to the ER for suicidal thoughts or the attempt, they were sweethearts to me. But as far as physical health, they do NOT have a good rep. I know someone's grandfather that nearly fucking died thanks to them, and I can't recall what it was exactly, but Mom had some complaints during her kidney cancer treatment. What is your hometown known for? Crime. Are you longing for and missing a toxic person? I honestly miss Colleen sometimes, but I can't go back to her. I can't. I'm done giving her more chances than she deserves. It was nice to actually have someone to hang out with, but she is just overall not a pleasant person. What’s your greatest longing? Financial stability, probably. Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, “this isn’t true”? BOY HOWDY- What are you behind on? Being an adult. I am 23 and a SOOOOOORRYYYYYY excuse for one. Is there someone who’s stolen from you and never got caught? Yes. Someone stole our basketball hoop from my childhood home. Have you been lonely for most of your life? Most of my life, no. What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one. When was the last time you used a sleeping bag, and what for? When I lived with Colleen and slept on the floor for a bit. Do you live near the woods? Yeah, there's woods across the road. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? List 1-3 ideas. I wanna be the dumb blonde witch from Hocus Pocus, lmao. A pastel vampire would be pretty cool. And Rhett from the "Sleep Tight" video has instilled in me the great desire to be a steampunk toothfairy at least once. List five things people have been jealous of you for. Idk. List five things you have felt jealous of other people for. More than anyone, a friend of many friends' photography success when I can genuinely and modestly say I really think I'm better than her. That is easily the worst envy situation I've dealt with (and still do), as this is the one that is actually almost spiteful, wrong as that is. Then I have another friend who is a FANTASTIC photographer as well and is now a professional one in the fashion industry, I believe. Then there was a girl I went to school with called Cailin whose drawing skills were naturally INCREDIBLE since elementary school, and I remember back then, me and her would always get the most attention for our work, but she did moreso, but I wanted to be the "best" artist. Once I hit high school I just had great respect for her talent. Next, one of my former best friends Hannia was a natural GENIUS that got perfect scores on LITERALLY almost anything; she had the highest GPA in the entire school, while I was right behind her. And uhhhh five... I have been and still am jealous of my sisters for being proper, successful adults. What is your favorite shade of brown? Like a caramel tone, I guess? What color is your toilet seat? White. Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? Definitely a house. What’s one thing you had growing up that you miss now? Energy. Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Lettuce. Do you listen to instrumental bands such as Hammock, Trentemoller, etc.? No. Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? Just because my sisters went and Mom wanted me to hang out with them. I may have with my old friend, too. Have you ever self-harmed? Yeah. Never the answer. Do you have any eating disorders? No. I'm afraid of developing one once I (hopefully) get to the weight I want, though. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? I hate energy drinks. They taste like poison. Do you plan on getting married? Yeah. Do you want kids? That's a big fat nope. What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t judge. Bisexual. At what time of day do you normally feel the best? The morning. Name one reason why someone should not commit suicide. YOU. CAN. GET. BETTER. Seek professional help if you feel suicidal, and after what I understand is a serious struggle, you truly can go into the light at the end of the tunnel. You've got, to our understanding, one shot at this. Don't end it when there is a possibility for a beautiful future. If you’re unhappy, what would it take to make you fulfilled? Have a job and be in school. Name someone you know who is a cancer survivor. My mom. Are you friends with any cancer survivors? I don't think so. Do you wish the sunrise and sunset lasted longer? Hm. Sunset, maybe. Idk. Name a country whose history you know nothing about. Lmao most. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topic. Do you have a bed or do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? I have a bed. When was the last time you went for a run? Shit, not since high school gym. Do you keep Christmas lights up year-round? No. What did you win a scholarship for? Nowhere. What type of bug do you see the most often in your home? Flies. Do you put off things until the last minute? I tend to. Is your mom the same size as you? No, I'm smaller. Do you know any Christians who aren’t judgmental? No shit. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell bananas? Ha ha yup. Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? It's fine. But I want it dyed badly. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? Latin and German. How tall is your father? (Estimate?) Idk. Over six feet. Would you meet Miley Cyrus if you had the chance? No. What is your favorite slow song? Oh yeesh. Idk. Maybe "See You On The Other Side" by Ozzy. Do you believe in karma? No. Do you constantly check your cell phone? No. Only Sara or Mom ever text me, and I pick it up just if the green light is blinking (means I have a message). If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? Well yeah. If you could spend 1 hour 20 years in the future, would you? Yes. I want to see where I am, so long as I can change my behavior to improve that future if needed. Otherwise, I don't wanna know. Are your pets asleep? Teddy probably is, Bentley might be, idk where Roman is, but he likely is, I can't see Mitsu from where I am currently, Venus may be (no eyelids, so you never know) as she's in her rock, and Kaiju is awake. Have you ever wished you were an only child? Never. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever gotten hurt while sledding? No. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? It depends on the subject of them and my mental state. Kid pictures I'm always up for, high school ones are okay, though they can make me really upset with how healthy and skinny I was, and I deleted all photos I had on Facebook of Jason and me last year so I couldn't even risk looking at them ever again, as there's a good chance some would trigger my PTSD. Of all your exes, who do you think you had the deepest feelings for? Jason, obviously. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? I have the most uneventful, bland life. No. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? Idk. What song are you listening to right now? Is this one of your favorite songs? "Alone I Break" by Korn. No, but I love it. What is something you have to explain a lot? My sweating issue. Gross to talk about, but I sweat seriously excessively, like you would not believe. It can be 70 degrees and I'll be sweating in seconds. People worry about it, and in VR, I've had to explain it so many times due to it affecting suitable jobs (I think we can all agree being drenched in sweat at work looks extremely bad). Hopefully I won't have to anymore when my doctor decides what to do about it. It's most likely a thyroid issue, which I have no clue about how to subdue symptoms of. There's really a shitload I have to explain lately between doctors and VR... Which compliment do you receive the most? From those that know me/see me, that I'm losing weight. From people in general, "I love your hair" or something like that. Who were you last on the phone with? My sister. What is one thing you have always wondered? Uh. Idk. I'm sure there's a lot, just nothing's coming to me atm... What do your friends think about the music you listen to? Your family? My friends and I like similar stuff, as do my parents, especially Mom. My sisters are the total opposite of me and don't enjoy metal and the like at all. Has anyone ever told you to grow up? Essentially. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Hell no. How many true friends do you have? Excluding family and my girlfriend as they're more than that, like... one or two, it feels like most of the time. Can you honestly say you’re happy right now? No. What is something you are exceptionally bad at? Doing math in my head or spelling up there. AND READING LIPS. Do you have a house phone? No. Who do you love more than anyone right now? Don't make me choose between Mom and Sara. How much money do you have saved up? I literally have $11. Do you like bright/neon colors? Yes, but I prefer pastel. What is your favorite wild animal? Meerkats. Do you ever eat breakfast? I almost always do. Do you remember who your first grade teacher was? Yes. Have you ever won any trophies? What for? Yeah, for A honor roll all through elementary school (save for 5th grade; I got one B and was so upset, lmao), then in all kid sports I played, everyone got lil ones, some from dance I believe, and I think there's one or two others I'm not thinking of...

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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xseaxwitchx · 7 years ago

Text

Pining and Pizza [Part 2]

Fandom: DC Comics

Relationship: One-sided JayTim (technically)

Words: 2,124

Warnings: Implied horrible things for anyone not straight that’s open about it

Summary: The title, I feel, is self-explanatory.

A/N: This is part 2 to what originally was supposed to be a one-shot, but a second part was requested. So, without further ado, here ya go!

Part 1

Tim stood beside Jason, not really looking at the movies but instead trying to catch Jason in his peripheral vision. Why? He wasn’t sure.

“How about this?” Jason asked as he stood straight and held the movie case out to Tim. R.I.P.D he saw on the cover. “Sounds interesting. Any good?”

“Well,” Tim said, “it’s funny. Kinda sad at some point, but overall funny.”

Jason nodded his head definitively, making his way over to the television set that had the DVD player. Tim went to sit on the couch, cross-legged, waiting for Jason. As he bent down to put the DVD in, Tim couldn’t help the thoughts that entered his mind when he saw Jason’s butt. He pulled the hood down to completely cover his face, trying to fight off the thoughts. Stupid, stupid, stupid, thought Tim. There’s no way he’s going to see you romantically. Plus, he’s straight, isn’t he? Wait, you don’t know that for sure. Argh, why me?!

Tim startled out of his thoughts by Jason tugging on his sleeve. “You okay, Timbo?”

He let go of his hood, hands going to his lap, face dusted pink. Jason lifted the hood, peeking at Tim’s face and saw the light blush. “Why are you blushing? Have someone on the mind?” Jason and his goddamn smirk. Jason and his goddamn wiggling eyebrows. Jason and his goddamn...him. Goddamnit.

Jason laughed, yanking down the hood, Tim lurching forward a little with the force. He collapsed next to Tim, feet going up onto the coffee table, hands in his lap. Tim took off his hood, little attention on the TV, most attention on Jason. Why was Tim freaking out tonight? The crush had been blossoming for about five months now, and Tim never became as flustered as tonight. Why? He wished he knew.

Jason pressed play when the menu popped up, then placed the remote on the coffee table. As he reached over, the back of his shirt rode up, revealing part of his lower back as Tim turned his head to ask Jason a question. Tim had to swallow, struggling to control his blush and mind. At this rate, he might become more blush than human. “Hey, Jay? You want some chicken nuggets? I was gonna go make some, and wanted to know if you wanted any.” Tim surprised himself by keeping a steady and unsuspecting tone.

“Timmers, unlike you, I had food today. And just ate pizza. Maybe later, but for now, go take care of yourself and make chicken nuggets before I slap you,” Jason answered. Ah, tough love.

“Okay.” Tim pushed himself off the couch, padded his way to the kitchen, then to the cabinets for a microwavable plate. His mind wandered as his hands did. He debated whether or not to tell Jason his feelings or just wait to see if the crush would go away in time. All his being would love the second option, but his reactions tonight say otherwise. He absentmindedly threw open the freezer for the chicken nuggets, threw them on a plate, and stuck the plate in the microwave.

“What would be the worst that could happen?” Tim started muttering to himself, hoping Jason wouldn’t be able to hear him over the TV. “He says no, then the friendship or whatever the fuck we have is strained, then he runs, never speaks to you again, then you fall into--”

The beep of the microwave interrupted his muttering, indicating his chicken nuggets heated. He opened the microwave and let out a hiss at the hot temperature of the plate as he went to grab it. After a few seconds, he went to reach for the plate again, fingers stinging from the plate, but the temperature bearable.

His feet softly hit the floor as he tried to elongate the journey to the couch. Alas, it only took him all of 15 seconds.

The plate of chicken nuggets he set on the coffee table and returned to his place on the couch. The chicken nuggets slowly disappeared over the course of 20 minutes. Jason side-eyed him a few times, but for what, Jason didn’t know.

Tim started to scooch closer to Jason, seeing how close he could get without Jason saying anything. Soon, their shoulders barely touched, just sweeping by each other. Tim decided to try his luck; he scooched over until they were flushed together and he leaned his head slightly onto Jason’s shoulder. Just his luck that Jason turned to look at him as best he could. Tim’s head shot straight off and he backed up as Jason threw him a questioning look.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d mind...much,” said Tim, an edge of panic in his voice.

“Mmm, I don’t care. Just a little surprised because it’s only nine o’clock; didn’t think you’d be tired already,” Jason responded, hoping to relax the other man.

“So, can I?” Tim asked, referencing to leaning his head on Jason’s shoulder. Jason quirked an eyebrow in a “really?” expression. He happily made his way back to Jason, bodies flush against each other, head on Jason’s shoulders. They continued to watch the movie, neither saying a word to the other. Eventually, Tim’s arms wrapped themselves around the other man’s arm, him snuggling into Jason. Both remained oblivious to this action.

At the end of movie, Tim stretched one of his arms up, yawning. He didn’t remember ever feeling so tired, but safe and warm enough to comfortably let himself be so. His arm returned to its original position.

Jason peered down, now noticing their positions. All of a sudden, Jason felt awkward. He cleared his throat and was just about to ask Tim something when he heard mumbling. “What was that?” he asked.

Tim, mind hazy with exhaustion, repeated his words louder without thinking: “I love you, Jay.” He snuggled deeper into the man, unaware of his predicament until he felt himself being pulled away. His eyes blinked a couple of times before his mind caught up. When it did, his eyes widened in shock as he crab-walked to the other side of the couch to try to get as far away from Jason as possible. His face grew tomato-red and he once again grabbed the hood of his onesie and yanked it down over his face to save himself from seeing Jason’s shocked face.

“Tim?” called Jason. His feet came off the coffee table, one leg folded onto the couch and the other sitting on the floor, facing Tim.

“Tim’s not here right now; this is a hologram,” Tim responded, albeit slightly muffled due to the hood. Jason smiled a small smile to himself as he moved over to Tim. He took Tim’s wrists in his hands, tugging gently to get Tim to lower them and let go of the hood. Reluctantly, Tim let him. As Tim’s hands found his lap, Jason reached up to remove the hood, taking in Tim’s face.

“Tim? Tim, look at me,” Jason told him. He looked up, and their eyes locked. He felt himself shrink under Jason’s intense gaze, crumple and wishing to implode, to disappear; he couldn’t believe he let those words slip from his mouth in his tired state, and using “love” of all words.

Jason’s hands returned his own lap. He sighed, breaking eye contact and sweeping a hand through his hair. He opened his mouth to start, but Tim beat him to the punch. “Look,” started Tim, then drew a shaky breath. Tim took a moment to compose himself and Jason, interested in what Tim had to say, closed his mouth and gave Tim his full attention.

“Jay,” Tim started once again, hands tense as he gripped his legs in anxiety, “I-I, uh, meant it in a brotherly way, like, you’re my big bro. I mean, what other way is there to take it? Romantically? Psshh, that’s...no. What? Ri-ridiculous and--”

“Stop,” Jason interrupted him. “You and I both know that’s rambling bullshit. Tell me what it meant.”

“Fine,” Tim said, utterly defeated and cornered. “I like you. Not in a companionable way, not a brotherly way, not a friendly way. I like you as in, like you like you. I, uh, I have for awhile. I mean, after I go to know the real you. At first, I was attracted to you--your jawline, your arms, your eyes. Ya know, physically. Over time, I came to like your compassion, your heart, your sarcasm, your tough love, your...everything. Before I knew it, I was falling hard. You-You don’t have to do anything, of course, but then again, you were never supposed to know, then it sort of slipped out and now--”

Jason pressed a finger to his lips to silence him, a smile playing at his lips and sadness in his eyes. “Tim, let me tell you a story about me.” He put his hand down.

“I remember when I was a kid on the streets, when I was old enough to understand, I knew I was definitely attracted to girls. But I would occasionally find myself attracted to some male celebrities on the TV when I was allowed to watch with my mom. I remember the first time I told her, she sighed and told me to never tell anyone, to only date girls when I got older. When I was 12, I asked her why. I’m not retelling that part to you. Anyway, I was turned off by men when I heard what she told me and the fact that there was not one boy my age who wasn’t in a gang or violent for the wrong reasons.

“When I was Robin, romance left my mind because I was too excited to finally make more of a difference with Batman. I fell in love with the job and the quality education I was finally able to get. Of course, as soon as I hit puberty I died.

“After coming back from the dead, well, ya know. I didn’t exactly have romance on the brain.” Jason sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. Then he continued.

“Of course, after that fiasco was over, Roy, Kori, and I teamed up for Red Hood and the Outlaws. One night, after Roy and I got piss drunk, we had sex. I don’t remember much, neither does he, about that night. All we know is that it happened and I found myself curious about men again. Not Roy, though. I love him like a brother.”

Tim sat patiently, listening and hanging on to every word. Chalk what he just heard to the list of things he didn’t know about Jason. “So then?” Tim prompted.

Jason continued. “I’ve been too scared, admittedly, to ask any guy out because of the neighborhood I live and work in.”

“But you’re Red Hood. I’ve seen you kick ass!”

“It’s not something you would understand, Tim.” Jason looked on forlornly and Tim felt his heart drop.

“Like I said, you don’t have to do anything,” Tim said dejectedly, sighing.

“No, Tim, you’re right, I don’t,” replied Jason, taking one of Tim’s hands in his. They made eye contact again.

“I can’t say I feel the same way, but, knowing that I wouldn’t have to worry about you too much, I think that maybe I’d like to take a chance,” said Jason.

Tim couldn’t believe what he heard. He must be hallucinating, had too little sleep. Nevertheless, his eyes started to water, lip quivering slightly. He didn’t know whether to cheer or cry.

“I honestly don’t know why you’d genuinely like me because I’m a fucking mess who doesn’t deserve to be loved--”

“Shut the fuck up, Jason,” Tim interjected. He pounced onto Jason, locking his arms around the other man’s neck and they both went tumbling to the floor between the couch and coffee table with an “oof.”

Jason landed on top of Tim, who pulled Jason into a kiss by pulling down on the back of Jason’s neck. What started as a kiss turned into a full make-out session. Jason pulled back, both panting for air. Tim’s hands still found themselves threaded through Jason’s hair, and Tim’s hair a mess from the carpet.

“We...are not...doing anything tonight,” huffed Jason between breaths. Tim whimpered in mock disappointment.

“Movies and cuddles it is, then,” Tim said. “Now get off; you’re becoming too heavy.”

Jason chuckled as he climbed off Tim and settled back on the couch. Tim went to pick the next movie after he adjusted himself. As he passed Jason, Jason smacked his ass playfully.

“Really, Jay? Was that necessary?” Tim said indignantly.

“What? Golden Boy isn’t the only one with a nice ass in this family,” said Jason nonchalantly.

#jaytim #jason todd #tim drake #red robin #red hood #pining and pizza #fyi I don't ship jayroy romantically #or seriously #although I do think a drunken one-night stand would be a plausibility between them #and ofc kori wouldn't be upset #she's just great okay #anyway #here ya go #*throws confetti*#the witch writes

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