#I FELT things for these women that a straight girl would have not felt lol

[silvermoon424]

Pictured: my gay awakening at like age 8

[mvltisstuff]

hihi so!! would it be possible for a buck one shot from season 2, ep 4 where the drunk girls are flirting with him and reader is kinda jealousy? like when one girl asked buck to put his number in her phone reader is just giving her the nastiest side eye ever or something?

this honestly just made me giggle and if you don’t do that then that is 100% okay! thank you so so much if you do this or even just for reading it! <3333

outside i keep it quiet - e.b

summary: buck sees y/n’s jealous side for the first time in their relationship.

evan buckley x reader

og gif post

a/n: hello ;)) i love silly little requests like these, and again, im so sorry for how long ago this was requested, but i hope you’ll still enjoy today! also disclaimer, the word bitch is not used in a sexist, derogatory way (at the end at least) don’t get too upset ;) also some things might be a little different from the episode as i haven’t watched in a while lol

the scrunch on y/n’s brows was unfamiliar to buck. she was busy bandaging up one of the girls, who was busy staring at buck. her gentle fingers were more stiff than normal, and buck definitely noticed.

y/n was getting increasingly frustrated with the girl she was working on. her intoxication only making her interested in the firefighters in front of her. buck hated to admit it, but he loved seeing the fiery jealousy coming from his girlfriend. they’ve been dating for quite some time, but she’s never had a good reason to be jealous of him.

she whipped her head around at the words she heard from the other group of women.

“you, like, have really big arms,” one of them mumbled to him.

“oh, thanks,” buck replied, not showing interest and just doing his job.

“like i know it’s a free country, but i don’t know if you can carry those guns around,” the other girl said, giggling to herself and earning cackles from chimney. y/n gave him a death glare, telling him not to entertain them without words.

“why don’t you guys go sit down on the curb, and y/l/n will come check you all?”

“i’d rather stay by you, but, whatever you say,” she winked and walked away. y/n let out a huff as she finished wrapping up her patients arm.

“hey!” she heard a holler from where the group was sitting. “do you have a bitch?”

y/n let out a laugh straight from her chest, not even trying to hide it anymore. the whole team looked at her, seeing a stance in her they didn’t know existed. none of them knew this side of her.

“no, i don’t have a bitch,” buck replied, not even making eye contact with them.

“ooh! did you hear that?” one of the girls further away exclaimed.

y/n was like a ticking time bomb. she was about to slap these girls clean across the face, but it would definitely not end well. so, instead, she gave them picture-perfect smiles that buck could see right through.

buck walked over to y/n, placing his hand on her hip to pass by her. y/n felt chills up her body, loving the fact that the girls were sat completely still at the sight. they were cleaning up some of their tools from the sight and loading them back into the truck, and everyone was fully over this call.

bucks fingers lightly touched her side, making sure she felt him there but also making sure the drunk girls noticed. they surely did, because they couldn’t stay silent if their mouths were sewn. even if they didn’t know they were dating, not a soul on the earth could miss the look in bucks eyes whenever he landed his gaze on y/n. he pecked her cheek rapidly before she ran off to the truck.

“wait, i thought you said you didn’t have one?”

“i did, she’s not my bitch.”

back at the station, buck found y/n standing by her locker, changing into her clothes to head home. she had only gotten to take off her top shirt before buck came in.

buck walked in and couldn’t take his eyes off of her. she’d taken out her braids and let them wave down her back and run her fingers through it. he noticed her waistband landing right on her hips, her undershirt scrunched up to show off her abdomen. he came up behind her, sliding his hands to the front of her, but she stopped him and turned around.

“you should’ve told them i was your bitch.”

“but you’re not-“

“i wanted to see the look on their faces if you had said yes and pointed to me. i wanted them to know you’re mine and only mine, not theirs.”

“o-oh.” buck murmured, as she walked toward him as he backed up.

“call me your bitch, then.”

“no!” buck replied. “i’m not gonna call you that.”

“i just wanna hear it so i can imagine their faces.” she tapped her ear and turned it toward him with her other hand on her hip.

buck sighed and tossed his head back before leaning in closer to her. “you’re my bitch.”

y/n grinned at his hesitation and grabbed the sides of his neck, pulling them chest to chest as her nose pressed against his face. it was almost the most powerful kiss they’ve ever had, other than the first i love you’s.

“don’t make me say that ever again.” buck chuckles.

“i won’t, baby,” she says. “my place tonight?”

“i’ll be there.” buck smiles and she turns to walk out of the locker room. chimney walks in as she leaves.

“oh, bye, bitch!” he waves and smiles at her.

“hey! no.” buck shouts at him and shakes his head urgently.

“sorry,” chim says under his breath.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Jason Dean dating someone who's transmasc

Warnings: brief mentions of transphobia, canon typical stuff such as bullying, swearing, violence, murder, etc, slight suggestive things but nothing that's full on smut (I might make another post with that later), smoking (because we all know our boy JD smokes like a chimney), mentions of dysphoria, mentions of menstrual cycles/periods, some forcemascing by JD (sorry I couldn't resist)

A/N: I did a Veronica version of this like two years ago and since I'm currently obsessed with JD (and it's pride month) I felt the urge to write one for him too (also because I've come to the conclusion that I might just be transmasc and not genderfluid so this is mostly just written for me)

I wanna start off by saying that yes JD is an asshole, but he'd never be (intentionally) transphobic. However, if he thought you were trans then he would push your buttons a little bit to see how long it would take you to admit it, especially if you met before you came out

Let's say you two started dating when you still saw yourself as a girl or something (I know that JD's supposed to be "straight" or whatever but he's bisexual to me okay fight me on it). If he saw you acting a little uncomfortable being referred to as his girlfriend or having to use the women's restroom at school he would 100% call you out on it

Not in a degrading way or anything like that, just to see how you would react to it. The second you start to get defensive or give him the silent treatment he shuts up, not only because he accomplished what he set out to do but also because he feels a little bad

Eventually you just decide to rip off the bandaid and come to terms with the fact that you're actually a trans guy, him being one of the first people you tell. His only real response to this "startling revelation" is to look at you and go "Yeah I kind of figured that one out for myself already, I was just waiting for you to"

Your worries that he'd want to break up with you after telling him disappeared almost immediately as you crossed your arms and rolled your eyes at him. "Ha ha, very funny smartass"

If you decide you want to cut your hair shorter then he will absolutely offer to help you with it, insisting that there's no reason for you to go to a professional with him there (it's totally not just because he's very possessive and would never let anyone else touch your hair other than him, that's crazy)

You may have wore his clothes some before, but he practically begs you to do it after you come out. Why would you ever need to go shopping when you can just raid his closet, y'know? Plus seeing you in them really turns him on

He gets ten times more protective afterwards too, constantly following you around to make sure you're okay. You could have classes that take place at the same time on opposite sides of the school and he'll always skip his to join you. Eventually the teachers just move his class schedule around to match with yours since he never attends his anyway

Always has an arm wrapped around you no matter what, especially if he sees someone like Kurt and Ram passing by. It's best to distract him with kisses or something so he won't hear the things they call you and get mad (he hears them anyway but can't resist making out with you so he lets it slide for the time being)

Speaking of making out, he does it with you everywhere and all the time, whether it's a modern au or the 80s. He's not worried about what people say or do, usually letting his gun do all the talking. He shoots them is what I'm trying to get at here lol

Most people are much too scared to even breath too loud near you because of your attack dog boyfriend but if it ever does happen that you get bullied (whether that be verbally or physically) he will go out of his way to make sure the local morgues, cemeteries, and funeral homes have plenty of business

Feeling anxious or stressed about having to spend time with/be around someone who misgenders/deadnames you? Just let him tag along. He might not say much but what he will do is very passive-aggressively correct said person on their "mistakes". It pretty much always works as no one wants to argue with a guy who frequently carries a gun

It's not the best habit around but he probably gets you hooked on smoking at least occasionally, especially if he hears you complain about your voice being too high. Oh, you're worried that you sound too feminine and "girly"? He has the perfect way to get you that low and gravelly voice that you want! You think he's talking about voice training or something until he hands you a pack of cigarettes and with the most serious expression ever says "these will do wonders"

Even if you don't smoke religiously like he does it's kind of hard to resist it completely given how often he lights up a cigarette (and yes, he will blow smoke into your face, because while he loves you he's also an asshole and thinks it's funny when you wrinkle up your nose in disgust at him)

He's not the best at comforting you when it comes to days where you feel dysphoric. Like, he won't flat out say that he thinks you're acting ridiculous because he knows it would only make things worse, but he's also not great when dealing with emotions, so the most he might do is let you cling to him while he gives you a few awkward pats on the back

If this goes on for days borderlining on weeks, however, that's when he'll start to act less sensitive and give you a bit of tough love. "What are you talking about saying that you 'don't look like a guy'? Are you crazy? You really think life would be better if you were still living as a girl? Do you honestly think that would make you happy?"

It surprisingly works, believe it or not. Even if you know he's purposely trying to rile you up it ends up making you feel better and more confident in yourself. Anytime he notices you starting to slip back into feelings of self doubt or insecurity, he just wraps you up in his arms and whispers soft encouragements in your ear. "You were never a girl, you just need to work a little bit harder than others to grow into the man that you are. If anything, that's a testament to your strength for being able to do that"

This certainly happens whenever you're on your period and feel grouchier or less confident than usual. "You're so strong for being able to endure this every month, did you know that? You're much braver than I am, I doubt I'd be able to get through it as well as you"

Sometimes you almost start crying because of how emotional his words make you feel, and sometimes you roll your eyes with annoyance while muttering "you're a condescending asshole" under your breath. Either way it ends up making you feel better, especially when he offers to rub your lower abdomen when your cramps get too bad

If you decide to start HRT then he wants to be there to help you take the shots, even if you insist you can do it yourself (he likes being part of the process of helping you "turn into" a man). Same thing if you use T gel or whatnot, he gets really pouty if you ever apply it without him

He's not really the best person to do "guy bonding" activities with unless you like making pipe bombs or planning the murders of people you hate (hypothetically speaking, of course) but if there's anything like that you want to try out then he'll definitely be there to support you. Like I don't know, hunting/fishing? Or watching sports games while drinking beer? Or breaking out the toolbox and fixing things around the house? Sorry I don't really know things that guys do despite being one myself 😭

The only exception to that is probably car maintenance. I see him as being very protective over his motorcycle and learning how to take care of it himself so he doesn't have to worry about taking it to the shop and having them screw it up. He'd be happy to teach you about how to change your own oil and might even teach you how to ride it as long as you don't accidentally scratch up his paint job. He might not kill you for it, but he will be very upset and end up ignoring you for a few hours afterwards

Purposely introduces/refers to you as his boyfriend in front of others just to see your face light up with confidence. It's not like JD has a lot of friends or anything but anyone that he does know feels as if they've met you already because of how he much he talks about you (he's totally that one annoying person you know who never shuts up about their partner ever)

All in all, I'd say he's a relatively good boyfriend in general, but especially if you're transmasc. Solid 8/10 (one point was deducted for his slight insensitivity and another was due to his crazy streak. Sorry JD I promise I still love you </3)

Main masterlist | Heathers masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?

End notes: this ended up being much longer than I anticipated but I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever at all

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated | requests are currently open

🏷 taglist: @missmewts @ghot-girl @gilmore-angel @your-next-daydream @the-night-owl-blr @noisy-dumb-piece-of-shit @pregnantmen @theonetruepotato87

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, sorry for dumping a big rant in your askbox but your blog has helped me figure out my identity and I don’t have anyone to talk to about this in real life lol. Feel free to delete if this is too weird.

So I’m a 17 y/o butch, and I have been masculine since I was a little kid. I always felt lucky to have a family that was generally okay with my gender nonconformity. They treated it like a cute quirk of mine, and I never felt like I was being judged or that I should change the way I am around them. My dad got a kick out of it. One summer he let me help him build the deck in our backyard. He always took me to baseball games, he dressed me up in his old clothes, basically treated me like I was his son and I loved it.

I feel like as I get older, my masculinity becomes less acceptable. I went to visit my paternal grandmother for the holidays, hadn’t seen her in a few years, and the first thing she said to me was “I thought you would’ve grown out of all that by now” (in reference to my haircut and outfit, I think.) I just don’t know how to react to the way my extended family treats me now. They used to be totally fine with it, but I spent my entire Christmas feeling like I was being judged for every little thing.

Like, what’s changed? Why is it cute and funny when a little girl wears boy’s clothes and wrestles with her cousins, but disgusting when I grow up and settle into my masculinity?

It’s like I’ve crossed the invisible line between being a tomboy and being a dyke, and now no one wants to entertain it anymore.

Again, sorry for the rant haha, I just feel like I’m going crazy because I tried to talk to my sister about it and she said she didn’t notice them acting any different, but I swear my aunt spent half of our Christmas dinner telling me how pretty I would be if I just wore a bit of makeup lmaoo. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, because I’m feeling pretty lost right now. Thanks, and happy holidays!

It is not weird at all. I hear that young lesbians, particularly butches, do not have older role models to bounce ideas off of or vent or get any perspective on certain experiences. Moms and Dads and straight sisters and cousins, no matter how well meaning, will just not always "get" what is happening. They say things like "we love you no matter what" and "we don't care if you are a lesbian" and they mean it, mostly. But they often don't see the subtle clues (or blatant ones)they toss around that indicates how uncomfortable they are with you being so visible, but just existing as you naturally are.

AND OH MY GOSH yes I have experienced exactly what you are talking about with the deepening judgement as you move from a cute little Tomboy to an adult butch women. It is almost like they hope to "catch it early" when we are in our teens and redirect us away from the "danger" of being a visible lesbian. And a woman who does not, in very overt ways, conform to their idea of how a woman should be and act.

My dad was relatively consistent in treating me pretty much like he would a son and, to his credit, he did so with my straight sister. We were allowed to do just about anything my older brothers did. In part because my sister was pretty strong willed but also a lot like him. I was less strong willed but she had mowed the path.

Mom was the one who was forever concerned about my looks and behavior, both out of worry I would not fit in, and because she had a certain expectation of how her daughter should grow up. Both normal Mom reactions. She understood bullies and knew that sticking out could be difficult. Her solution was not to strengthen my resilience but to attempt to "tone me down". Her efforts increased as I made the jump from kid to teen and into my late teens. She would discourage me from cutting my hair, becoming almost angry when I brought it up. She would tell me how lovely I was in dresses and skirts and say thing like " a little make up would be nice". It got really old. It lead to us not always getting along even though I loved and respected my mom. She was a great mom. But this one thing made us both crazy. She could not cool it and I could not change who I was.

Friends at school saw hints of my liking girls. I stopped wearing cowboy boots and my favorite horse buckle and it their place went with K Mart Tennis shoes and a generic belt that came with my pants, again, from Kmart. I put away the cowboy fringed shirts and flannel and went with simple jeans and sweatshirts, the acceptable attire for boys and girls in my rural high school. I kept my hair long to disguise my "looking like a boy" traits.

I (barf) agreed to date a boy and spent the better part of that time making excuses to not kiss him or spent time with him. I was starting to listen to mom and do my best to hide ME from the world. Anything (with in reason) to throw the world off the scent, the scent of me being a lesbian. Being butch made that one more step difficult.

It is hard to hide the space we take up naturally.

It might seem hard to see it now by your family is slightly well intentioned, knowing that being "seen" easily as a lesbian can be dangerous. But also, they are uncomfortable with your energy and physical presence because it does not coincide with their ideas of what a woman acts, feels and moves like. This is a THEM problem and I can give you words of comfort based on experience.

The more you begin to be you, and dress in what gives you comfort the more your confidence will grow and be evident. People who are emboldened to try and change you for their own comfort tend to back way off when there is no opening for their opinions. They just sort of realize they are wasting time. AND for those that don't, there are always a few, you don't have to give them any air or acknowledgement. You get to let them waste time and energy while you look great in whatever you wish to wear and however you wish to cut your hair. And in a wonderful turn around, you don't have to spend any effort just being you or trying to defend or correct them.

You are fast approaching adulthood and with that will come even more freedom and independence. Don't rush it but also, work towards that.

[simpforrooster]

you don't see it.

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x F!Reader

summary: Jake is sick of you talking about Rooster and takes matters into his own hands.

a/n: i'm sorry y'all. this is straight trash, but i can't go on until its up and posted LOL. i hope y'all are having a great weekend!

t/w: alcohol, some cursing, friend!jake, jealous!rooster

You didn’t like Rooster. Well, let’s back up.

You liked him, you just didn’t like Rooster. You didn’t like those silly Hawaiian shirts. You didn’t like those Ray Bans he wore and would look at you over the frames of them. You didn’t like that sandy hair and tan skin. You definitely didn’t like that 70’s ‘stache. Nor did you wonder what it felt like against your face to kiss him. 

Nope. None of it. Sometimes, it felt like you were the only girl in the word immune to the man called Rooster. 

Of course you never found yourself daydreaming about the man. Or wishing you were wrapped up in those strong arms. You found it easy to ignore watching him flirt with other women. You didn’t need to be jealous. 

No matter how much you wanted those words to be true, they weren’t. 

You are completely in love with the guy, and he only sees you as a friend. He’s even mentioned a time or two what a great person you were to have around. “I couldn’t ask for a better friend,” he’d told you. That comment resulted in throwing back several shots of tequila, and Jake having to bring you home. 

****

“He only sees me as a friend,” you whine to Jake later, hanging all over him, the alcohol making it hard to stand on your own. You hook an arm around Jake’s neck, holding on with all your might. 

“Why doesn’t he like me like that, Jakey?” you asked. You are the only one allowed to call him this. The first time it slipped out, Coyote immediately tried to make it a thing. Jake almost clobbered him over the pool table.

Jake hits you with a deep chuckle. “It’s his loss, babe.” His arm encircles your waist, keeping you upright. 

“Why don’t you just date me, Jakey?” you ask the blonde fighter pilot, your sober thoughts coming out of your drunk mouth. 

Jake chuckles again and the sound does something to you. Despite the man’s animosity and egotistical attitude toward the rest of the crew, he always seemed to have a soft spot for you. 

“You know I’m no good for you, babydoll,” his southern twang stirs emotions deep within you. 

“I’m sure I could handle you,” you quip. The flirting between the two of you is nothing new. It’s pretty much standard practice. Especially after a few drinks. 

But Jake knows Rooster is the one you want to be with. 

Jake grins. “Hmmm, but I don’t think I could handle you.” Jake pulls you closer, moving his mouth close to your ear. His hot breath causes a pink flush to fall across your cheeks. “Don’t look now, but the object of your affections seems to be mighty jealous.” 

You know when someone says, “don’t look now” you immediately look? Naturally, this is your first course of action. Rooster watches the two of you, a sneer on his face. A look you’ve never seen on him before. 

“He does seem jealous, huh?” You turn back to Jake, your eyes wide. 

“Wanna make it worse?” he asks, mischief in those green eyes. 

“What did you have in mind?” 

Jake expertly positions you with your back perfectly to Rooster. “Don’t freak out,” Jake warns. He places a soft hand across your mouth and leans in, placing a kiss against his own hand. 

You know exactly how this looks, and decide to play it up, locking your arms back around his neck. This whole façade has your face burning bright red, only to add to what you want Rooster to think.

“Go get me another drink, darlin’,” Jake winks. Going to get Jake a drink puts you right next to Rooster, and he seems itching to say something to you. 

“So you and Hangman?” his deep voice calls to you. His Hawaiian shirt is hanging off his shoulders, a white tank underneath tight across his chest. 

“We’re just friends,” you say lamely. 

Rooster lets out a whistle. “Yeah, that didn’t look like ‘two friends’.” 

“What’s it to ya, anyway?” you push. The tension between the two of you sucks the alcohol from your system, clearing your head. 

Or maybe it was the fact that Jake cut you off twenty minutes ago. 

“Just be careful is all,” he tells you, bringing his beer to his lips.

“You really don’t see it do you?” you mumble, your annoyance taking over. 

“See what?” 

“Rooster, I practically throw myself at you, and you just remind me of what a great friend I am.” Now that the confession has left your mouth, there is no taking it back now. You hold your breath waiting for his reply.

Rooster looks at you like you just asked him a difficult riddle and he has 2.3 seconds to answer until he’s done for.

“Forget it,” you resign, turning to join Jake at the pool table. Chills run down your body when a strong arm stops you from taking another step. Rooster’s calloused hand grips your wrist like a lifeline. 

Rooster spins you back toward him and crashes his lips against yours. It takes you a moment to fully register what is happening. Getting over the fact that the man of your dreams is kissing you, you grip the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer to you. 

“Get a room!” Jake calls from the back, satisfied Rooster finally came to his senses. 

“I’m sorry I was an idiot,” Rooster smirks. “Let me make it up to you.” 

Rooster slides cash across the bar to Penny, who is rolling her eyes at the two of you. He takes your hand in his, and pulls you from the bar and toward his old Bronco. 

He pins you against the cool metal of the car, trapping you between his body. “I gotta wipe that memory of Hangman’s kiss from your mind.”

You let out a crazed giggle, and pull the man back down to your mouth. 

“I didn’t kiss him, Roos. He was trying to make you jealous so you’d make a move. He’s sick of me gushing over you.” 

Rooster answers you with a kiss that would certainly be enough to make you forget a Jake Seresin kiss.

masterlist

[myouicieloz]

Bittersweet memories

Yoo Jeongyeon x member!reader

Synopsis: Jeongyeon sees you’re feeling down and suggests going to the park, while the other girls are not home.

Warnings: just a lil angsty.

Word count: 1.4k

Notes: a silly prompt I thought abt rn lol

Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3 | Pt.4 | Pt.5 | Pt.6

“Hey, baby maknae,” Jeongyeon calls, smiling. She looks so cute, with her eyes nearly closing as she tops you with her frame. The sensation of her shadows on you is enough to make you open your eyes, sitting on the couch. “Are you okay? Your breathing is kinda erratic.”

It was a slow day at the dorms. Nearly all the girls were busy with either a group or a solo schedule, which left you, Dahyun, and Jeongyeon all alone in the massive apartment. To anyone, it’d be a perfect time to relax, run errands, or work on some hobbies. You were trying to relax, though, but such a thing was still forbidden to your mind — the thoughts started to run at an overwhelming pace as soon as you lay down on the couch, in hopes of destressing.

Thankfully, the women whom you shared your life with were more than attentive to all of your mannerisms. You didn’t even have to say anything, and they’d be by your side, caring, nurturing. Each of them helps in a unique way.

You loved your girls so much it hurt.

“Yes, unnie. Just fine.” The lie flows easily from your mouth, in an automatic response. It’s only when Jeongyeon lifts her brow that you come to realize you don’t have to do that anymore. You don’t have anything to hide — they’ve already seen all of your ugliest parts. Sighing, you add. “Sorry, it’s just, uhm, sorry. I was trying to relax, but I can’t… I still can’t focus on the thoughts too much. I get scared easily.”

Jeongyeong nods, pleased by your efforts to share your feelings with her. You’ve been going to therapy for a couple of months, and it’s been helping you to understand and deal with your feelings better. As a result, you’ve been expressing yourself better, and the girls were able to search for ways of making your routine easier each day. The engines of the big, complex clock that defined your being were slowly getting back into its place. It’s a slow, tiring process, but there’s been progress.

She sits by your side, giving you a reassuring squeeze. You took advantage of her proximity to hold her tight, hugging her even closer. Jeongyeon’s arms have always felt the safest to you. Her embrace sends warmth waves of love straight into your heart, and you smile against the woman’s skin.

“Thank you for telling me, beautiful.” You blossom under her praise, hiding your face in the crook of her neck. Her hands go inside your hoodie to trace slow, delicate circles on your bare skin, exactly how she knows it’ll calm you down. “Perhaps some fresh air will help you feel a bit better? We can go for a walk. The members will take long to come home. How does that sound?”

“Sounds perfect, unnie.” Although there’s hardly anything she suggested you wouldn’t do, simply because it’s her. “Let’s take a walk.”

Jeongyeon’s hands are cozy, and they fit perfectly against yours. You hold her delicately through all the way.

—

The park is the girl’s assigned spot. It’s the place you’ve cried, laughed, and celebrated together ever since your trainee days. Whether it was to go on picnics, hikes, or simply feed the ducks on the lake, you’ve grown used to having such a place as your escape route.

You’re surprised that Jeongyeon led you to the basketball court, instead of the lake. However, what surprises you the most is the ball in her hands, which she shakes side to side in awkward motions.

“What are you doing?” You frown, watching her clumsy moves.

During your trainee days, you, Jeongyeon, and Momo would sneak out of the practice rooms once it all got too much. Your managers would always find the trio here, instead, laughing their hearts out in their own little world. Neither of you knew how to actually play, but being able to move around — wasting some well-needed nerves without the need to be perfect, and just have fun in general was enough. If you concentrated hard enough, you could still hear Momo’s loud laugh, combined with your loud cheers whenever Jeongyeon managed to score a shot.

Reminiscing such memories causes a growing ache in your heart. At the time, it seemed like things were so heavy: the crushing routine of practice, the stress of not knowing whether you’d make it through the next monthly evaluation, the immaturity of being so young… You thought it was the end of the world, back then. Now, looking through the hidden memories behind those feelings is enough for you to realize it wasn’t so bad, after all. Being able to window-shop at the mall without being recognized; the thrill of finally being able to buy that Nintendo you had been saving up for forever; whispering gossip with the girls after the lights were out when you had to be up early for dance lessons, on the next day.

It’s a bittersweet feeling. Something that seemed like a life ago, coming from a version of yourself trapped in another dimension. You felt like that wasn’t yourself anymore. It was impossible to recreate such memories, and even when you managed to do so, it just felt wrong, and weird.

You desperately wanted to go back to being that girl again. And it fucking sucked.

“I thought a little one-on-one could ease up your nerves. You used to love playing before.” Jeongyeon cares about you so much, thinking about the little details of the maknae she loved dearly. Holding on to something that did not exist anymore.

Just like you were. All of them.

Your mouth tastes bitter. Suddenly, you’re no longer interested in being outside — there’s a sudden urge to just go back to your room, curl up and cry.

You used to like going to the park and playing, before.

“So everyone keeps telling me.” You murmur, kicking a rock as your fists close inside your hoodie’s pockets. “About things I liked to do before the— episode.”

Sensing you’re not interested in playing — or maybe she just took a brief look on your face. With a red nose, watery eyes, and a big pout, it wasn’t difficult to tell you were about to burst into tears. Jeongyeon throws the ball away, opening her arms to you.

It’s instant: you run to her, crying as you mutter apologies and empty promises. You wish you still liked to do all of those things. That you weren’t so utterly, completely broken. You want to go back to when you were just a little troubled but fine.

Was it never going to stop hurting? Is this ache going to last forever?

“It’s okay, baby.” Jeongyeon’s calm voice soothes you, as she runs her hands through your hair. Your sobs are loud, probably drawing attention to the little kids playing on the nearby courts, but she doesn’t seem to mind. “It’s okay. Much has changed, and that’s normal. It’s just life, baby. It’s simply life.” Gently grabbing your shoulders, the older woman brushes the tears away from your eyes. Staring at you with a serious face, she adds, “I love you, Y/n. We’re in this together, all of us. That’s what hasn’t changed: our love. Okay?”

You nod, somehow crying even more now that you are surrounded by such a strong love.

“We will make new memories, and find new hobbies. We’ll do whatever it takes. It might not be as fun or shiny as the old ones, but oh, Y/n… they’re going to be even more cherished and precious, I promise.” She promises, resting her forehead against yours. And you truly believe her words.

You love her more than words can say.

“I love you, unnie. Thank you.” You laugh through the tears, glad to have someone like Jeongyeon in your life.

Turning around, you make your way back, in the lake’s direction.

“And I love you more, baby. We’ll find a new hobby, don’t worry.” Her face turns thoughtful, her glasses complimenting her frame well. “Have you tried cooking? We really need another one in the dorms, things are getting unsustainable. I had to eat Nayeon’s food yesterday! Or, well, at least pretend, since it was disgusting. Not even poor Dobby ate it.”

You let out a loud laugh, this time, giving the older girl a playful hit.

Jeongyeon was right: things were not as they once were. The past was in the past, and it might be a good thing. From now on, you’d focus on making new memories, surrounded by the love and support from your family, your friends, and most importantly, from your girls.

[mavrintarou]

[3:45PM] Suna Rintarou (prequel of DD) [3]

I started a part-time job so my writing and posting will slow down tremendously. Hopefully, I'll get inspired lol. If you are new, this is the 3 part, please go back and read the initial post, and prequel - parts 1, and 2. You can find those chapters here

Warning: none, angst/hurt & leading to comfort Note: There is a time jump, hopefully, I don't confuse you guys

Prequel (part 2)

.

Rin realized he found himself watching Y/n sleep more often than usual. He never understood romantic films where the man watches the girl sleep, often thinking how creepy they were.

He didn’t care that at the moment he was doing the same thing, watching Y/n sleep like a little creeper. All that mattered to him was seeing Y/n asleep beside him safe and sound.

Rin still could not believe the wild roller coaster he and about 300 other passengers went through less than 72 hours ago.

It was one thing to be surprised to discover that Y/n was the pilot of the plane he was flying to Thailand for a tournament.

Four months ago, he would have waved at her like a hopeless romance and shown everyone they were lovers.

But it has been four months since Rintarou broke everything off with Y/n.

Everything has been a mess since that day and nothing was going right.

With each ticking second his conscience questions whether he made the right decision. Was it impulsive or was he right?

All he wanted was to make them official, he wanted the right to call her his girlfriend and show her off. He also wanted her to take him home to her place.

He wanted a home with her.

But he got the sense she didn’t want to share much of her life with him. 

He began questioning her about when she would cancel plans or tell him she would no longer be coming home that day and be gone for days on end without communication.

He respected her busy career and work schedule, but he couldn’t help but feel left out of her life.

They had been seeing each other for almost four months, he was ready for the next phase and thought they were both on the same page.

When he initiated and asked her to be his girlfriend, she did not consider his request, immediately turning him down.

“I’m sorry… I can’t… I thought you understood, Rin?”

Like a light switch, anger consumed him. He threw the comforters off and stalked naked around his room to search for his boxers. “Understood?” he mimicked her tone, he wiped towards her with hurt and pain written on his face. “What is there to understand when you don’t tell me anything?”

“What do you mean? I tell you when I’m done with work, I make time on my off days to meet with you. What is it, Rin? What is it that you want?” Y/n kept her voice leveled, not wanting to meet his energy.

“I want you!” he shouted, throwing his hands up, “I want you to be mine, Y/n.” He inhaled sharply, “I want everything there is out there to want. I want to know where you are at all times because I can’t help but be anxious you might be with someone else when you are not with me. I want to know what you are thinking about and if I even cross your mind at all because you are always on mine. I want to tell every damn hot-blooded male out there you are mine, fuck – even the women too because you’re fucken amazing.” His breath shook as he slowly took a deep breath. “I want to not have this terrible feeling that I’m not good enough for you…” he choked, “I feel like I’m being childish, wanting you to only look my way, wanting you to only want me… want you in every way possible. But I feel like it’s one-sided…”

He felt foolish pouring out his childish feelings. He couldn’t even look at her at this point.

To make matters worse, Y/n hadn’t spoken a word. She had not attempted at all to assure him that she too wanted him.

“I think we should end this, it is obvious you do not feel the same way for me,” he muttered, “please see your way out.” He turned his heels and headed straight to his bathroom.

When he came out after a hot bath almost an hour later, she was gone, every trace of her gone.

He stared out the air plane window, zoning out until something was held in front of him, a paper bag.

“Our captain has asked me to deliver this to you.” The young flight attendants informed with a smile.

Rin accepted it and opened the bag.

It was snacks he and Y/n enjoyed eating together. At the bottom of the bag was a piece of paper inside.

I hope you have been well.

He shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

He missed her dearly.

Reaching for his bag, he began searching for stuff he could give back to Y/n. “Excuse me,” he called the flight attendant, “do you have pen and paper?” She returned with the items he requested.

As he was about to signal the flight attendant again, the plane suddenly jerked and trembled violently before it suddenly veering sharply to the left, causing standing passengers to lose their balance.

Y/n’s voice came over the intercom with a vague announcement, immediately ordering all passengers to fasten their seatbelts.

Rin could not mistake the uneasiness in her tone and nor did he miss the looks on the flight attendants' faces as they quickly shuffled around, making sure all passengers followed the announcement.  

Quickly fastening his seatbelt, unknowingly holding his breath.

Talk to me Y/n, Rin silently prayed to himself.

No one could have anticipated encountering a situation typically happening only in films. The lights inside the plane started flickering, and the aircraft continued to sway as if struggling to remain airborne. This prompts passengers to demand an explanation.

Rin looked down at his watch and began counting.

It was the longest five minutes of his life before he heard Y/n’s voice.

“This is your pilot Y/n, we will be making an emergency landing shortly here in Singapore, please remain seated and keep your seat belt fastened until further notice.”

Thirty minutes later, the plane landed on the tarmac and moved towards the many flashing vehicles.

At last, an announcement was made, except this time it was not Y/n’s voice. “This is your co-captain speaking, I sincerely apologize for the sudden change and inconvenience. There has been an emergency medical situation and I ask everyone to please remain seated until further notice. Another announcement will be made as soon as you can exit the aircraft, there will be gate agents ready to assist and get you on the next flight to Thailand.”

Outside of the aircraft ambulances and other medical services were waiting outside.

Rin’s eyes widen as he catches a glimpse of Y/n rushing alongside the stretcher that is being hauled into an ambulance.

.

Rin and his team boarded the next flight to Thailand. His mind remained clouded and hazy as he awaited Y/n’s text response, any response from her. During the game, he found himself sidelined for most of it, as his coached noticed his lack of mental focus. The moment EJP Raijin was declared champions, Rin rushed to the locker room to check his phone.

He has never been so relieved to see her name on his screen.

I’m in Thailand at XXX Hotel. Dinner?

.

“Usually, on long flights lasting 6 hours or more, there are three pilots, but this time, there were four due to the larger aircraft. It was my co-pilot’s and my turn to swap and rest. Thirty minutes after falling asleep, I heard him call my name, gasping that he was experiencing chest pains,” Y/n recounted, rubbing her face with her hand as she relived the moment. “He was having a cardiac arrest,” Y/n pushed the food on her plate around, not having much of an appetite. She described how she administered CPR to her colleague while simultaneously giving commands to the other pilot to request an emergency landing. “An as if that wasn’t challenging enough, we flew into a flock of birds that caused one of our engines to blow out,” Y/n explained, her expression reflecting extreme fatigue as she recount the situation on the plane. “The plane got out of control so I had to quickly switch and gain control in the air until we landed in Singapore.” She smiled tiredly at Rin, “he’s okay if you’re wondering.”

“That’s good, but are you okay?” Rin cared more for her well-being than the others. He too lost his appetite, pushing his food around. He reached for her hand and laced their fingers. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m just… exhausted. It’s been a long four months…” she tightened her fingers around his. “Long four months of training and… without you.”

Rin could only maintain eye contact with her in silence before softly inquiring, “what are you trying to say…?”

“I’m saying that I have missed you, Rintarou. I have missed you every single day,” Y/n answered earnestly.

A deep sigh escaped from his lips, as though he had been holding it in for quite some time before they curved into a smile. “I missed you too,” he admitted.

.

In the brief period he’s known her, she has consistently been a sound sleeper, likely due to her hectic work routine.

But at this moment, he could tell she was deeply asleep as she didn’t stir when he shifted himself so he could hold her. His heart rate eased as she nestled closer into his warmth. The tip of her nose pressed lightly against his nipple, erecting his nub as she unconsciously rubbed against it.

He hist softly, cursing silently in his head. Counting backward from one hundred, he distracts his mind with other thoughts to distract himself.

He found it hard to grasp the reality of her presence beside him. After dinner, there was no way he was going to part from her.

He held on to the end of her shirt like a lost puppy, “stay with me.”

Y/n reached for his hand, holding it tightly, “I’m so tired, I’m ready to fall asleep on my feet.”

“Your place or mine, I don’t care, your call.” Rin stepped closer and cupped her cheek, “I just want to be wherever you are.”

They came back to hers. Rin noticed her small luggage and a handful of her belongings spread out on the desk.

Y/n began stripping her clothes off, leaving only her panties and sports bra on. Rin could feel his face heat up as he turned away.

“I’m just getting comfortable, don’t worry I won’t take advantage of you,” she teased, slipping into the bed. “Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to get in?”

He stripped down to his boxers briefs and slipped in, he might as well get comfortable with her too.

“Are you afraid I’ll bite you? Why are you so far away from me? Are you lying about missing me?”

Y/n was tugged into Rin’s arm as they tightly locked around her. “I would lie about many things but missing you isn’t one of them.” He pressed his lips to her forehead, “sleep, you can barely keep your eyes open.”

“Rin.”

He hummed watching her close her eyes before she whispered, “I like you.”

Minutes later, her breathing steadied, and she relaxed in his embrace. Rin couldn’t pinpoint when he started noticing the small intricacies about her. Like the tiny beauty mark at the outer corner of her left eye, or how her green eyes occasionally shifted to yellow in the sunlight. He observed how her eyes crinkled when she smiled widely and how she would quickly use a hand to cover her smile. He longed to reach out and smooth the wrinkles on her forehead when she was deeply focused on something.

He found himself missing her every second of the day whenever she wasn’t by his side, and every little thing seemed to remind him of her. Whether it was spotting someone with the same shade of green eyes or hearing or seeing an airplane in the sky, thoughts of Y/n would flood his mind.

Every little thing about Y/n came down to one thing, he was hopelessly in love with her.

.

For the past five minutes, Y/n had been observing the man sleeping beside her. She couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under his eyes and how he seemed to have lost weight, his cheeks appearing sunken.

She had noticed her weight loss and general disinterest since their fallout, believing she was the only one suffering. As her fingers lightly brushed his bangs aside, she pondered whether he, too, might have been enduring similar struggles.

After she left his place that day, regret weighed heavily in her heart ever since. She has never felt rejected and hurt as much as Rin telling her to leave his place.

She distracted herself with work, taking on additional shifts until one day she was greeted by someone she least expected, her old boss, the Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Specialty Force.

“We need you to come back,” was the first thing he said. “We have a project and you are the only one who can lead it and carry it out.”

Pursuing aviation had always been Y/n’s passion and dream, so joining the military straight out of school seemed like the optimal choice for her. In a sense, she was achieving two goals at once: pursuing her passion while also upholding the long-standing family tradition of military service spanning decades.  

A year ago, she would have eagerly accepted the mission, always eager for a fresh challenge. But now, she found herself struggling to find her voice. Accepting the mission meant being away for an extended period – ranging from at least six months to two years or more.

Y/n couldn’t understand why she was hesitating.

A part of her was her pride.

She is reminded of a painful past incident that had her dismissed with an uncharacterized discharge. After she returned to the civilian world, she was pulled into commercial aviation to maintain a part of her passion.

But that wasn’t it either.

At last, Rin’s face came to her mind.

Everything has changed since she met Rin.  

He was only meant to be a distraction. Their relationship was never meant to have gone this far or deep.

She wasn’t supposed to care for him, let alone, formed a bond with him.

Her time in the military and her specialized field compelled her to prioritize her duty over settling down, understanding that investing in something that might only lead to heartbreak was not in her best interest. Even in her current time, she was always on the go, never settling in one spot for long, she was convinced a relationship wouldn’t survive if one partner was always gone.

This is why she steered clear of committing to a relationship or remaining attached to someone for an extended duration.

Y/n had refused to acknowledge her feelings for Rintarou. She viewed their interactions as mere entertainment whenever she was back at home. She enjoyed his pursuit and the undivided attention he gave her. She has never had anyone give her as much attention as Rin had. At first, she believed it was because he was younger than her and was infatuated with the thought of chasing and finding interest in an older woman.

However, as they spent more time together, the hours slipping by unnoticed, she gradually found herself caving into him, basking in the warmth of his arms and feeling her heart beat in sync with his.

She had never yearned for someone’s company as intensely as she did for his. Simply being in his presence was sufficient to make her feel at ease and rejuvenate. He filled a void in her life that she hadn’t realized existed.

Her heart and mind started yearning for every detail about him. In a crowded place, she’d catch a glimpse of men similar in height, instantly reminded of him. The sight of the color yellow would remind her of his eyes that glowed whenever they locked with hers. She began following his volleyball team to stay on top of updates about him and his professional life.

She thought she was the only one who was feeling these aftereffects.

Therefore, it was a hasty choice on her part to accept the mission, driven by the desire to distract herself from him and put physical distance between them.

She was simply a coward who was hopelessly in love with him.

. . .

E/n: I'm happy to explain anything you might be confused about, or hopefully my next part will explain/answer it.

>>> @queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

[mayhem-neverending]

The Big Bad Wolf

Part XVIII

Word Count: 2935

Warnings: none

Notes: Okay, it took me a bit to get this one out. I'm like, several scenarios ahead so I kept having to reel my mind back in lol.

Kakashi wasn’t the only one who arrived at Obito's cottage shortly after that call, but he was the first. He came through the door in a flurry of robes, embracing both of you where you were resting in more or less a heap against the cabinets. You hardly had the energy to lift your arms to reciprocate, but Kakashi couldn’t have cared less. His strong arms enveloped you and Obito and squeezed you until you couldn’t breathe. 

“Kakashi!” you got out.

He retracted just enough to look at you fully. His dark brown eyes were only just visible in his crescent-moon-smile, but their depths swallowed you whole nonetheless. They shone brilliantly with his relief and happiness as they flickered back and forth between you two. He pulled your bodies back in and Obito groaned, but you felt him raise the arm behind your back to weakly wrap around you and Kakashi, effectively smooshing you between them. You felt yourself smile, a warmth building in your chest.

Hina stirred at the commotion and heaved herself into a seated position, further dipping into the depths of the worn out couch. You were able to see her over Kakashi’s shoulder, and caught her forlorn eyes watching the three of you. The warmth you were feeling waned, and you immediately, but gently, tried extricating yourself from their grasps. 

Kakashi was reluctant to let go, but did so at the sound of the front door opening again. Pink popped around the heavy door. “Sakura,”

The girl entered fully and beamed at you. Kakashi stood and extended his hand to you. You stood on heavy feet and stumbled a bit to meet her in a hug. “Y/n Sensei, it’s been too long!”

You felt Sakura’s chakra enter your network from her hands on your upper back. The energy was welcome, but you couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped you. “Straight to business, I see,”

You pulled back but allowed her hands to stay on you. She grinned sheepishly. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, Sensei,”

You smiled kindly at her, the way you did when you would guide her through techniques years ago. “Of course… You know, you don’t have to call me ‘Sensei’ anymore, right?”

She removed her hands, satisfied with her scan and the little bit of chakra she left so you could stand steadily on your feet. “You were always my favorite teacher, it would feel wrong to call you anything else,”

You blinked in surprise, tears catching the corners of your eyes. There was a look of pride on her face that took you back to when she was still a little thing, so ready to take on the world. She had really grown up, you realized, and it made the tears harder to hold back. 

You patted her shoulder. “I missed you. Let’s find the time to catch up soon.”

“Let me introduce you to my cousin, Hina,” you gently turned the girl towards the couch.

Hina tried to stand, but you and Sakura both motioned for her to stay seated. Once in front of her, Sakura introduced herself. “Is it okay that I check you over?”

Hina nodded. Sakura held her hands over her and the green light emitting from him captured Hina’s full attention. You almost giggled when it occurred to you that Hina had never actually been healed through chakra. Her wide eyes said everything about the experience. 

“Your baby is quite healthy,” she murmured to her.

A small smile curled her lips and her eyes watered. Her hand pressed against her belly and rubbed small circles against it. You looked past her at the men still standing in the kitchen. They spoke quietly amongst themselves. 

Obito leaned heavily on the counter, nodding along to Kakashi’s words. You sidestepped the women and walked over to them, curiosity overtaking you, even though you assumed they were likely recounting the mission. They noticed you immediately and opened their circle to include you.

“I was just telling Obito that the two of you need to come to my office so that you can give the mission report. The Elders want to be present for it,” 

You nodded to him, though you were less than pleased to see those old geezers while you were so drained. “Wait, Obito, too?”

“Mhm. We’re going to drop Hina off at a safehouse, where a select few shinobi are already stationed, and then we’ll head straight to my office,” 

You and Obito shared a tired look. 

“I guess we should get going then,” Obito said after a moment, apprehension apparent. 

“Let Sakura check you over first,” 

“I’m fine,”

“Obito,” Kakashi chided.

He surrendered just in time for Sakura to make her way over to your trio. She bowed her head in greeting to Obito and held out her hands. “May I?”

He nodded once and she quietly went to work. You walked back over to Hina and helped her stand, even though your muscles were not pleased by your actions. She looked worse for wear on her feet, but didn’t utter a single complaint. She nodded in Sakura’s direction, where she was finishing up. 

“That’s the little kunoichi you told me about, right? The one who studied under the fifth Hokage?”

You smiled. “Yeah, that’s her. She’s grown up quite a bit since I last saw her,”

Hina looked at you, and you detected a small spark. “The chakra in my system felt.. That was really something different. Is that how it always feels? Like when you use it?”

Your smile broadened. “Each person has their own signature, so it feels different coming out of your own hands and there's a difference for each style. The general feel is the same, though,”

She placed a hand on her belly and rubbed back and forth with her thumb. She looked around at the capable people sharing the space with her.

“We’d better get going before the Elders start having another fit,” Kakashi said warily as he approached. 

“It’s not far from here,” he added. 

Everyone filed behind Kakashi and followed him out into the snow. 

It truly wasn’t far. Only fifteen minutes walk, closer to the village but still tucked away from sight. Kakashi and an Anbu agent, who had been waiting in a tree for your approach, stayed outside to create a barrier while the rest of you stepped through the front door. You noticed first that the space was small, but comfortable. It had large windows and was furnished and finished (unlike Obito’s). The second thing you noticed was a man in a bandana, standing up from an armchair that looked out the front window. 

“Genma?”

A wide smile stretched across the man’s face. He flicked the senbon in his mouth. “Glad you made it back in one piece,”

“Sakura,” he nodded. 

“Obito,” he sounded a little strained. 

“And Hina Zen’in, if I’m correct,” he politely stretched his hand out to her. 

She shook his hand and nodded to him. 

“Genma Shiranui, I’m going to be on guard duty for you,” 

You raised a brow and caught his eyes flitting back to your form behind her. He straightened, though he remained open and unassuming with his body language. He extended his hand in the direction of a hallway. “Would you like a tour?”

You and Hina followed him while the other two remained in the front room. He took you first into a bathroom that was actually quite large for the size of the home, then to the master bedroom. It had a large armoire and freshly made bed, with a large window looking out. A doorway in the bedroom led to a smaller bedroom that housed a crib and rocking chair. You appreciated the thought put into it, but Hina looked sadder than ever. 

You caught her eye after a moment. “It’s nice it’s just…”

Her shoulders slumped. “It’s not home,”

You patted her back soothingly. “I know it’s hard right now, but we’ll make it one - over time,”

You took the scroll you brought with you and set it on the floor next to the bed. You unsealed it and her things poofed back into existence. “Starting with these,”

Genma watched from the doorframe, hands lazily thrown in his pockets. When he saw a tear slip from Hina’s cheek, however, he read the room and returned to the others. 

Kakashi had stepped in and was speaking quietly to Obito who was slouched on the large couch while Sakura had found herself in the kitchen, a white, floral kettle set to boil on the stove. He took a place in the doorway of the kitchen so he could get the best of both. 

“Genma,” Kakashi greeted. “Thanks for coming on such short notice,”

He shrugged. “Not a problem. I’m happy to be here,”

The kettle whistled and Sakura took it from the stove. She poured it into a mug for Hina and one for herself. You emerged from the room without Hina, closing the door softly behind yourself. The people there noticed your pinched brows, but no one chose to comment. 

“You guys ready?” you asked Kakashi and Obito. 

They both moved towards the door in response. You paused next to Genma and brushed your hand against his arm, grabbing his full attention. “I’m glad someone I can trust is here with her,”

Surprise flit across his features before he pulled you into a side hug. “Of course. It really is good to see you,”

You looked up at him and his smile. “You too,”

…

It took three whole hours to relay your mission to the village elders. Three whole hours where your only thoughts were how badly you wanted to shower and sleep. They were nasty old geezers who had something to say about Obito every time your mouth stopped moving. They left you with a less than pleasant good-bye. 

“Your terms of imprisonment will be reevaluated based on your performance. Don’t expect much,” they slammed the door behind themselves.

“Y/n,” Kakashi called tiredly from behind his desk. He ran a hand through his hair.

You looked at him expectantly. “You are relieved. Go home and shower. I’ll pick Hikaru up after I escort Obito back home,”

You shot him a grateful, albeit tired, smile. “Thanks,”

You wanted to ask how Hikaru had been, but chose to leave it be. You figured you could easily determine how it had gone when you got to hold him in your tired arms. You left without a single thought in your head and went straight home.

You immediately started the shower and sat under the hot spray, scrubbing yourself thoroughly. The water slowly released the tension in your shoulders and lulled you into a trance. Eventually, when the heat started to lose its bite, you managed to sluggishly shut the water off and find your way to your bedroom. 

At some point you must have fallen asleep, because you woke with a start at a knock on your front door. You heard it open and realized you were still only in your towel. You yanked a robe out of your closet and slipped into it just in time for your cracked door to swing open. 

There in all his two-year-old glory was Hikaru. He screeched, “Mommy!” 

You dropped down and pulled him into a tight hug. His little arms wrapped around the back of your neck and you whispered, “Hi, Love, I missed you,”

You sat like that for a few minutes, your eyes shut and hand rubbing circles on his little back. Eventually, he pulled away, but only enough to reveal your face. He puckered his lips up and placed a sloppy kiss right next to your mouth. 

You laughed and pressed kisses all over his face, making him giggle and squirm in your arms. That’s when you noticed what he was wearing. At some point during your absence, it seemed, Hikaru had been given a robe that matched Kakashi’s. 

You looked around, and from your poor vantage point, spotted the man’s legs peeking out from under the kitchen table. You stood, Hikaru in your arms, and made your way out of the room. Kakashi sat at your table with a book in his hand (surprisingly not Icha Icha) and a bag of takeout in front of him. Behind the bag, closest to Kakashi, there was also a mini version of his hat. 

He put his book down and looked up as you approached. With a grin, you pinched the fabric of Hikaru’s robe between your fingers and asked, “What’s this?”

“He kept putting mine on, but when he ran around he would trip over it, so I had one made in his size,” 

“A logical solution,”

He grinned. “That’s what I was thinking… are you hungry?”

He motioned to the food. You nodded. “Starving,”

You let Kakashi open the containers and get the appropriate utensils while you sat with Hikaru, who was animatedly telling you a story that sounded mostly like gibberish. You relaxed in your chair, happy to be home with your boy, happy to be clean, safe, and fed. 

The steaming food was set down in front of you and Kakashi handed you the chopsticks. It smelled delicious and looked equally so. Taking a bite, you let the warmth and flavor melt over your tongue. You sighed out, your eyelids fluttering. 

“Thank you, ‘Kashi. This is wonderful,”

He settled into the chair across from you at the round table after shrugging his robes off and draping them over the chair. “Of course. Thank you for doing so well on your mission,”

“You say that like you expected it to go south,” you took another bite and raised a brow at him.

“No, no. I knew everything would turn out well with you and Obito as a team. I’m just grateful everything went fairly smoothly, considering all the variables,”

You hummed and he looked at you a second longer before digging into his own food, mask down around his neck. “Your mother wasn’t available over the weekend, so I kept him the whole time. I hope that’s alright,”

Your gaze that had been cast down on your full plate snapped up. Your eyes widened a bit. “I am so sorry, I didn’t realize,”

He chuckled. “It’s okay, I really enjoyed having him after I got the hang of it,”

“It turns out he didn’t like me because of my mask, so once I solved that, it was pretty smooth sailing,” He still looked worn out, even as he said it with a genuine smile.

You looked at Hikaru who had his fingers in a bowl of noodles. A small bit of relief wormed its way into you. “I’m glad. I was a little bit concerned about him not liking you. He’s usually such a good judge of character,”

Kakashi nodded, his fly away hairs from his long day bouncing with the movement. The three of you ate quietly, the earlier exhaustion making a reappearance. It was evident in the way your hands started fumbling with the chopsticks, your coordination losing its edge. 

Kakashi, sharp as ever, noticed. “It’s getting late. Let me put everything away for you, and let you two get some sleep,”

You nodded and took one last bite before letting him take your plate. Hikaru wandered off while you sat still as stone, gazing at Kakashi while he worked. His kindness and generosity had your tired mind wandering into the past on its own accord. 

When you were young and being sent to clean up after Kakashi, you had a crush on him. A massive one at that. You remembered sighing in your twin-sized bed, picturing a similar image of him in your shared kitchen, although you recall your past self imagining a lot less gentleness in his movements. He was always graceful, calculated, but it used to be with detachment, coldness. A coping mechanism, you now understood as an adult. 

It was past naivety on your part to think him incapable of gentleness or even genuine warmth. He was a killer as a child, hardened and sharpened as one of the best tools of the state, so it was easy to think of him as little more than that - a tool - sometimes. Never would your teenage self imagine he could watch a toddler and enjoy it. Or that he would seek you out, bring you a hot meal, tell you, ‘I’ll take care of it,’ in so many ways. 

He had changed so drastically. You watched his hands scrub the dishes clean, unhurried. You glanced at Hikaru, who was pulling on Kakashi’s pant leg, and the way he smiled down at the boy. His extra sharp canines sparkled with the rest of his pretty white teeth. 

You were sure that at one time, they could have bitten through steel; he would have enjoyed it, the pierce of his teeth through an enemy’s thick armor. Now, though? His eyes lightened in color it seemed, when they made eye contact with you, and his smile widened almost imperceptibly. 

No, after everything that has happened, even the flesh of a peach would be safe in the confines of his jaw. 

“What are you thinking about?” he asked you softly, wiping his wet hands on a dish rag.

“You,”

He looked surprised, eyebrows raising slightly. “Me?”

You nodded and let your head tilt to the side, a smile tilting your lips. “You’ve changed. So much,”

He paused, his eyes flicking between yours. After a moment, he decided on a simple, “You have, too,”

Part XIX

Tag List: @mostlyunsure, @humongousdreamlandbear, @ichaichahatake, @mandy-yeager, @detectivestucks

[crguang]

Okay so I know this might not be your usual ask to receive but I kind of wanted to say something here.

To be clear I am straight.... Or so I thought?

A few weeks ago I discovered a post of yours; the post being the love language fic and at that time I had no idea what Honkai star rail is but for some reason I had to read it.

It blew my mind away.

It was like opening a door that was locked deep inside my brain. I quickly became enamored to the character Himeko. So much so I played the game lol. I don’t know how to describe the feeling but it’s like, my stomach turns and my heart clenches just the thought of the red head. There’s more to the feeling but sadly I’m no writer and English is not my first language…. (I had to pull out an English dictionary.)

All my life I’ve been straight. I dated twice and it was all guys. But they were assholes. I remembered the first guy, he was nice at first but after 3 weeks he wanted someone more prettier. I think I felt a twinge of pain but that was just about it. I thought I would be bawling my eyes out like in romance movies. The second was something I don’t remember clearly. I fell out of love for him and he hated me for that. I felt bad but to be fair he was narcissistic.

Anyways, I read more of your fics and everytime I read a Himeko one, my brain turns to mush. She looks and sounds so gentle and at the same time looks so divine! If she offered me her coffee I will gladly accept it and kiss her. Oh to be loved by a sun goddess.

I’m kind of rambling now. I’m sorry it’s so long. I had to get this out of my chest somehow. I don’t know if this is a phase or not. I’ve never experienced something like this before and definitely not for a fictional character.

Can I ask for some advices please? I’m sorry if it’s too much, you can just ignore this.

this is sooo adorable, i’m so flattered that my writing has made you feel something you’ve never experienced before, even more so that it’s something so beautiful. don’t worry about your English, i understand you completely. i love that Himeko can make you a little giddy, she’s definitely a sweetheart!!! i’m also sorry that the men you’ve dated were such assholes, you deserve better and i’m glad that they can no longer affect you.

i can only really speak of my experience here, but i realized i liked women when i read fics as well. i’d read about natasha romanoff and harley quinn (i was a superhero nerd😞) and it’s after the twentieth fic that i went, “wait, why am i reading about dating girls?” it was done very subconsciously because i never approached the matter again, it felt normal and natural to me despite my upbringing and what was hard was figuring out if i liked men at all. i’d have favourite male fictional characters that i’d tell myself i would marry if they were real (not true) or have celebrity “crushes” that i’d tell myself i would date (nuh huh) but the common denominator— except lying to myself— was that these people were all inaccessible to me. when i was faced with men irl, i felt nothing. when i tried dating apps, i’d never swipe right and only feel icky at the thought of a man touching me.

all that to say that if you imagine yourself kissing and dating a woman, it might mean something more. it’s not a definite answer, and honestly it depends how you feel about women in real life too. you can have crushes on fictional characters and feel nothing irl, i have lesbian friends who swoon over some male characters but they’d never be with a man. for me, reading reader insert fics about women meant that i wanted to date them. for you, it might mean something different. i would say not to panic about it, you can find yourself at your own pace and not to judge the questions you ask yourself or the conclusion you come to. whether you just like men, or women, or everyone— it’s a beautiful thing and you shouldn’t feel anxious or nervous about figuring that out. thank you for sharing this with me, i’m really happy that you wanted to talk to me about it and never apologize for rambling, this is a safe space!!!!

wishing you all the best 🫶🏾

[gaypolls]

ok i just said it doesn't really bother me but i do wanna rant a little bc it's SO insane to claim that you're only a real homosexual if you've never felt an ounce of attraction to ANYONE but your own gender... as though True Attraction is easily defined and quantifiable for everyone? as though gendered attraction is in and of itself something that involves some essence of other people's genders or whatever and not just what you percieve???

think of how many twinks have mistaken for butches and vice versa lmao. is everyone involved in those funny little mixups not a real gay anymore? hell, what about gay people in the closet who can't quite accept their attraction to their own gender yet but their "type" of the "appropriate" gender is effeminate guys/tomboys? if someone wants to enter the gay identity do they absolutely HAVE to renounce all past attraction to the "opposite" gender as fake? why? says who? why would it not be enough to say "i'm significantly happier and feel more natural embracing attraction to, and being with, my own gender"?

like yeah, personally, i do deem the attraction that i used to think i had for women as fake. but i'm an incredibly self-aware and self-analytical and generally In My Head person. i can look in there and see the throughline and know the exact reason i thought i liked girls, and hell, i can even remember the conscious thoughts i had where i was forcing myself to feel it. but i do NOT expect everyone to be the same?? like that would be insane. if everyone was as self-aware as me, specifically. that's not healthy lol.

but anyway, on that same vein, repression and the closet are seriously powerful things. there may have been a layer of conscious attempt to be masculine in the mix, but when i was 16 and searching for things to appreciate in girls' appearances and, because i was trying so hard, sometimes finding them, and acheiving that abstract feeling of attraction that i was looking for... would it really be SO insane if i now wanted to say that yes, i have been attracted to women, and i just got over it?

when i say that i'm not attracted to women now, that doesn't even mean that i have never been attracted to a single woman. it means that womanhood and femininity does not inherently appeal to me. that's where "exceptions" come in - it's literally not that deep. it's when you recognize that you're feeling something, and maybe you're unsure but it seems at least attraction-adjacent, but it's not related to the prerequisite of gender that's usually on your capacity for attraction; it's in spite of it. i have to imagine that the majority of the time when this happens, it's because the person is in fact somewhat androgynous, or some part of you percieved this person as the gender you do like when you weren't conscious of it, or there's some aspect of their appearance that has the right gendered "energy" to you. and sometimes people just look really fucking interesting, or people are just excpetionally beautiful, and it hits you so hard that it seems like attraction but you're really just in a brief moment of awe! sometimes you just enter the cosmic soup for a second!

and feeling superior about having never had this happen to you is... well, it's just that, isn't it? it's purely about feeling superior. i honestly don't even believe that it's truly the case for that one person. i feel like the internal need to say shit like that has got to come from an insecurity about the fact that you're not that "true homosexual" that you're claiming deserves to never be implied to have things in common with all other gay people.

furthermore... the notion of it being homophobic to identify as gay when you're "not 100% internally homosexual"? well i mean obviously that's the terf shit. it's the braindead idea that other people's identities take anything away from you. as if anyone actually identifies as gay "when they're actually bi" just for fun and not because their "straight" attraction is extremely incidental and/or just does not preclude actually acting on it... like duh, lol. and even if it was for fun, it literally still takes nothing. it's a completely imaginary danger.

and it's so batshit in particular bc going out of your way to harass other gay people and tell them they're not gay is objectively the fucking homophobic thing??? like how on earth do you see yourself as the better person here. christ lol

[rreskk]

Hiii <3 i love your fics so much, can you do one where a girl who really needs a job ends up getting hired to be trevor’s assistant/ secretary (because tpi is hectic lol) and they start having a sexual relationship where he is the dom? Kinda like the movie secretary ehe please and thank you! 💌

I love this idea sm!

Summary: There was only one way to get a raise.

TW: -Smut

Word count: 2134

Pairings: Fem!reader/Trevor Philips

“You want a fuckin’ raise?”

Now that was a tone of voice you always avoided since working for him.

Desperate, naïve, eager; Trevor was your only saviour when you had trouble getting employment. It wasn’t that hard to convince the man after your totally informal job interview. All you had to wear was a slim, dark dress and he immediately hired you. Not a single question asked.

“I…” You felt ashamed, wishing you hadn’t of mentioned it – “I’m sorry. I just thought I deserved it because I’ve been working overtime… And stuff.”

“Stuff? Define stuff, sugar.”

“Uhh…”

Trevor crossed his arms, “You’re a great gal, but I don’t give raises. Ask Ron. The guy’s been my second-hand man for a few years and hasn’t even gotten enough cash to get himself a fuckin’ threesome down the motel.”

You’d think this was great marketing advertisement, the boss refusing to give his employees enough for personal fun. It made you realise how unfair and cruel he was, as a human, not just boss.

“Right.”

“I’m not sayin’ you don’t deserve a raise, gorgeous, but I gotta keep my folks equal. If I gave you a bonus, I’d have to give the rest some… And they’re thick as fuck,” He scowled, “So it’s settled, babe. No fuckin’ raises.” His tone becoming hostile.

You nodded, “I understand.” Which was a complete lie.

“Good girl… Now get your ass back on the computer or whatever the fuck you do. Trevor Philips Industries ain’t movin’ without my loyal servants, and lady.” Your boss winked before walking off, presumably hitting some meth that had been manufactured earlier that week.

Yet, even when he’s so vividly disgusting and captivating, you couldn’t help but blush when he soloed you in his attempt of a prep talk. There was an odd charisma he had around women. There was no bitterness, no aimed frustrations; he was completely neutral (and occasionally flirty). Remembering that one time he was disrespected by a lady, you were surprised when he was aroused than angry. But if it was all men – they’d be dead. No exaggeration, their bodies would be piled 6ft under, scarred with the message that Trevor Philip’s HATES being disrespected.

It would easily contrast the inequality of his company, an image so against his words that stated; “I gotta keep my folks equal.” Trevor’s ability to treat his employees fairly is impossible. He has a weakness, a soft spot for you. Late for work? You only get yelled at for 2 minutes straight. Made a client angry? He’ll blame it on the client. Disrespect him? Blow job.

That thing you were discussing. That “stuff” you vaguely mentioned when asking for a raise, it referred to the extra-curriculum you had to do after work hours. Blow him, none stop, until he cums at least 5 times. You’d think it would be enough to convince him…

But clearly not.

“[y/n]! I want my coffee!” Trevor’s beaming voice cried from his gutted office.

Playtimes over and you were snapped out of your daydream. It was back to work, and you held a hot mug of pure black coffee into his private room. As the door opened, you saw him slump against his chair, legs heavy on his desk. He made a satisfied grunt when you magically appeared.

“Thanks, gorgeous.” That low grumble forever making your stomach twirl uncontrollably.

“You’re welcome.”

His glass pipe remained tightly around his lips as he’d suck in the intoxicating fumes. You watched him, hoping that the effects of meth would at least make him change his mind about the whole “raise” situation. The money was needed; the economy not helping at all.

“[y/n].” He spoke as the fumes of his pipe evaporated from his nostrils. The impression of his neutral tone had given you hope. Your eyes lit up when he sat forward in his seat, looking like he was about to say something very –

“I’m feelin’ a little tight, if you know what I mean…”

All hope was lost.

Trevor continued to talk, “Could you help good old Trevor out, sugar? You know, the usual.”

You couldn’t show your disappointment as you didn’t want to ruin his mellow mood. Once you nodded, he threw the pipe aside and leaned back, opening up his legs. No words were even said.

You dropped to your knees and pulled out his soft cock. He watched as you began stroking his tip, trying to engage and make him erect enough for you to continue this “side-work.” Your palms groped his sensitive skin roughly. Trevor jumped at your weird aggression, giving you a small glare.

“Careful, sugar. You almost yanked off my fuckin’ dick.”

It seems as though you were bitter about his disapproval of a raise. Your sudden roughhousing with his length was done unconsciously, and you didn’t realise until he spoke up about it.

“Oh, shit – “ You quickly returned to his tip, wanting to keep the tension going, “Sorry, sorry… I didn’t realise.”

Trevor was tempted to backtalk but shook his head and returned his focus upon the hand around his cock. He’d occasional glance up to observe your down-casted frown. He’s been noticing how distant you’ve been in the past week, but he couldn’t understand why.

“What’s up with you, gorgeous? You ain’t been smiling a lot.”

“Oh, I’m okay.”

“Don’t lie. You’re barely touching my penis, you got this depressive ass scowl on your face, you usually sweet-talk me through this and you ain’t sayin’ shit. What’s going on with you?” Trevor frowned.

You took your hands off him and stood up. It was hard to speak up, you had no idea what to do.

“[y/n].” His tone grew more serious.

“I’m just… Stressed.”

“Okay…? About what?”

“I don’t know. I’ve just been thinking about everything and… I’m not where I want to be.” You tried to explain.

“The fuck does that mean?” He pushed his cock back into his underwear and pouted, clearly not impressed at the turn of events.

“I’m not happy.”

Trevor was silent for a minute. You could tell he was considering something.

“What? The job, or like… The pay?” Bingo.

You nodded, “Both.”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His shoulders grew tight and heavy. For once in your life, you finally saw him look… Stressed? He’s usually angry, or super horny, or dramatically depressed. But never stressed. There was a sense of worry in his whole frame.

“You want to… Quit?” His voice trembled a bit.

“I don’t know what else to do. You said you wouldn’t give out rais – “

“Woah, hey, hey!” He snapped, grabbing your arm as if you were trying to leave, but you weren’t. Trevor stared into your eyes with his dark ones, “I-I didn’t mean it like that, gorgeous. I was just… AH! You know what? Fuck that… FUCK THAT!”

You froze at his outburst.

“[y/n], fuck, if you want a raise. I’ll give you a raise, yeah? How much, huh? 20% bonus? 50%? 65%?” It was hard to determine if he was generally scared, or angry.

“I – “

“HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT?”

“Shit, shit. I don’t know, Trevor. Like… 50? Maybe?”

“MAYBE? YES OR NO? C’MON, GIRL!” Now he was angry. No. He was furious.

“Trevor, sorry. I’m sorry!” You blurted out in fear that he was going to throw you out.

Trevor covered his face and lets out a low growl. He does this for a few seconds before he wiped that grim glare off his face and gave you a terrifying smile.

“Ah, sorry about that, sugar. I just don’t like being told what to do. It makes me… annoyed, shall I say.”

“I guess. I’m sorry, Trevor, I really a –“

“Stop apologising,” He scoffed, “Just stop. You want a bonus? I’ll give you one. 50% bonus, there, sorted. Now… Fuck off, [y/n]. No wait, no. Don’t fuck off. Are you finally happy enough to gimme a fuckin’ blowie, or what?”

There was only one way to lighten up his mood, so you nodded.

“Yes.”

“Oh, thank the Lord! Great, ‘cause I’ve been hard ever since you used that tongue of yours to speak. You have such a wet mouth, sugar… GOD! Just… c’mere, now.”

You approached him again but apparently it wasn’t fast enough.

“C’mon [y/n], I ain’t playin’ around. I need you ASAP!” Trevor ordered, pointing to his crotch that had an occurring boner.

At least he wasn’t soft anymore. You hated rubbing it raw until it gets hard, it was just an anti-climax feeling. Luckily he was more than hard. You pulled out his dick and it pulsed the moment you made contact with it. How didn’t you notice this mess of a boner? Being so caught up in the conversation, you had failed to see his bulge grow overtime.

“Fuck, that’s what I’m talking about.” He grinned when you began stroking his tip.

Slowly dropping to your knees again, you found the energy and spirit to massage his tender cock, pestering the tip and exhaling your moist, hot breath upon the skin. Receiving this bonus from a guy who refuses to buy designer clothes despite being a professional criminal had really brightened your mood. Even after his small tantrum, he wanted you back onto his dick, proving how much he’d hate to lose you.

It left you smug.

“Oh, Christ… Yeah, yeah, c’mon… That’s good.” Trevor placed his hands over yours, guiding you through his cock with a smirk. He wanted an excuse to stroke your naked skin.

His fingertips were rough. You shivered knowing he’s killed many people with these hands, yet he’s so gently holding yours while rubbing his dick with love. He didn’t want to let go. Trevor muffled out grunts as you leaned closer, taking him in whole.

“Fuck, fuck! [y/n], you’re so hot…”

You gurgled when his full length had molested your mouth. His hand migrated from yours, to the back of your head, gripping your locks as you rammed his cock in and out of your wet mouth. He’d whisper your name continuously. Trevor would also accidentally whimper whenever you’d lick around his tip, torturing his dick with your filthy mouth.

“Fuck, sugar… Keep going, c’mon. Don’t stop. Don’t stop on me, baby. F-Fuuccckkk…” He groaned.

Gagging and slurping, you picked up the pace and held him so you could easily bop your head repeatedly.

“Keep going. Good girl, faster.”

You whimpered at his commands.

“Faster, [y/n]. C’MON!” His hand gripped your hair harsher. He’d yank you up and down with a smirk, loving how you allowed him to toy your body around so effortlessly.

At this point, you were drooling over his cock. He gave you no time to breathe. You’d hold onto his lap and smother his skin with your hot saliva, letting your eyes roll up as he’d only get rougher.

“You deserve that raise, don’t you? C’mon, girl! [y/n], fuckin’ SUCK! Be a fuckin’ slut for my cock, ay? You looooooove it… You love being my personal whore, yeah? That’s what you’re paid for, [y/n]. You know that? Your pretty little mouth belongs to my dick, baby. NOW SUCK, C’MON!”

“Ohh, yeah – “ You gagged, feeling him throb and twitch against your tongue.

“Mmm… Shit, shit, shit. I’m gonna fuckin’ cum…”

Your tongue mangled his tip, ready for him to shoot. Trevor’s nails were digging into your scalp at this point. He was whining out your name. You were certain the others were hearing this, but who cares? They already knew you were his personal fuck-doll. And you were proud of it.

“[y/n]… I love you, I love you, fuck… Baby, SHIT!” His words slowly descends into a haze of  murmurs. His penis only enlarged at the peek of his climax. You took a deep breath in before –

“FUCK! FUCK, FUCK!”

He jerked his hip up, ramming the cock into your throat as he came. Your eyes were beyond glassy. You held onto his hands for support since he was ejaculating so much fluid. He smothered your tongue and mouth with his semen, the salty taste burning your taste buds.

“Shit… Fuck me, fuck…” His body had calmed down with subtle spasms. He sunk into his chair, hand slowly falling from your hair.

You wiped away the cum from your lips and swallowed, not breaking eye-contact. It was sensual, and he only winked back at you.

“That’s my fuckin’ girl… I love you and your slutty mouth.”

“Thank you… Thank you, Trevor.” You pitifully thanked him even though you were the source of his orgasm. Without meaning to, you treated him God-like.

He grinned – “You better fuckin’ thank me… Now, actually answer calls or I’m gonna cut your bonus by 5%.” His voice so charming and deep.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes sir.”

[jerzwriter]

Contrast

Happy Fandom Love Day @lilyoffandoms! This picks up where your little kidnapping of my girl took off earlier this week! lol I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for being you, Lily! 💜

Book: Open Heart Pairings: Ethan x Merida, Bryce x Olivia, Tobias x Casey Rating: Teen Words: 1,600 Summary: It took a lot to get Casey away from Tobias for a Girl's Weekend Away, but Merida and Olivia had it all under control. Now, let's see what they got into while they were gone and how the guys coped back in Boston. A/N: Merida and Ethan belong to @lilyoffandoms and Bryce and Olivia belong to @storyofmychoices.

Eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, Casey raised the frosty beverage to her lips and let the sweet liquor coat her tongue. She let out a wickedly slow, delightful groan as the cool drink washed over her, directly contrasting with the hot sun pulsating off her skin. She had surrendered. Falling back into her lounge chair with a sigh of satisfaction, everything felt right with the world. Perhaps that’s because she was unaware of two sets of eyes fixed on her from either side as this spectacle unfolded.

Olivia fought back a giggle as her eyes met Merida’s over their satiated friend. Olivia might be willing to let this slide, but that wasn’t Merida’s style.

“Jesus! No wonder Tobias didn’t want to let you go. If that’s your reaction to a frozen margarita... in public... I can only imagine when you’re reacting to... other things... privately.” 

Remaining in her reclined state of ecstasy, a grin crossed Casey’s lips. “Now you understand why it was so difficult for him to part with me.”

She reached for her drink and took another long sip with an equally salacious reaction. As Merida laughed, a blushing Olivia gazed around to ensure no one else was watching.

“It’s good to know that you have a future in adult film voiceovers if medicine doesn’t work out for you, MacTavish,” Merida grinned.

“Wait!” Olivia exclaimed, placing her drink on the table by her side. “That’s a thing?”

Casey tilted her head in her friend’s direction, laying a hand on her thigh.

“Dear, sweet, Olivia... sometimes I almost feel guilty for how much we’re corrupting you.”

“Yeah, I don’t,” Merida snorted.

“It’s not a thing,” Casey smiled. “So if medicine doesn’t work out for me... I guess I’ll have to go all the way.”

“We need to come up with a porn name for you,” Merida insisted after emptying her own drink. “Not that I don’t expect your medical career to work out... just for fun.”

“This is fun,” Casey agreed, flagging down the poolside waiter for another round. 

Merida flashed a snide glance Casey’s way. “And to think, we nearly had to kidnap you to get you out of Boston,” she teased. “Tobias can be quite greedy and selfish.”

“Oh, go easy on him, Mer... you can’t blame him for being a little insecure. He knows damn well if I met you before meeting him or before you met Ethan, he would have some serious competition on his hands.”

“Competition?” Merida barked. “As if. I would have wiped the floor with that cocky bastard.”

As Casey and Merida happily downed their fresh drinks, they noticed Olivia was a s little more reserved.

“Liv, everything OK?” Merida asked.

“Yeah... I’m just wondering... would Bryce have had competition, too?”

“Of course!” Casey insisted. “Liv, you’re stunning! I would have fought the man off with a stick!”

“Mmm,” Merida nodded. “Of course, you’re our token straight friend, which may have given him a bit of an advantage.”

“Meh,” Casey waved dismissively. “I think everyone is a little bit bi. They just haven’t all admitted it yet.”

“It’s OK,” Merida assured. “Oliva, you would have been invited to the party even if you didn’t want to attend.”

The three women fell into a fit of giggles that only worsened as the afternoon progressed and the drinks kept coming. When evening approached, the tipsy trio made their way to their hotel room. Casey dove face-first into her bed, while Olivia collapsed into a chair beside the balcony. Marida poured glasses of water for herself and her friends. 

“What do you think the guys are doing right now?” Olivia asked.

“Downing their sorrows,” Casey mumbled with closed eyes. “They can’t stand being away from us.”

“She’s probably right,” Merida smiled. “They’re probably as inebriated as we are... but not having as much fun doing it.”

~~~~~

Back in Boston.

A forlorn Tobias sat hunched over the bar at Donahues, his usual chipper bravado missing in action. Ethan sat at his side looking... well... the same way he always looks. Nodding toward Reggie, he summoned two more drinks.

“What do you think they’re doing now?” Tobias asked.

“I can’t speak for everyone. But I’m sure Casey’s being approached by a ridiculously tan and toned specimen. They’re bright, attractive, personable, and she’s finally coming to her senses and realizing she  could do so much better than you.”

“You know, you’re an asshole,” Tobias smirked before sipping his Scotch. “I wouldn’t be so confident if I were you, buddy. Everyone knows Mer is so far out of your league. Maybe this is where she has her wake-up call, too.”

Ethan raised his glass with a shrug. “Here’s to our women,” he began. “May they never realize how pathetic we are.”

“Hear, hear,” Tobias laughed as their glasses clinked and they downed their drinks, quickly summonsing Reggie for refills. 

Sometime later, Bryce got off shift and headed directly to meet the guys. He was still in his scrubs, but with his bright smile and not a single hair out of place, he looked like he stepped off the cover of a magazine.

“Hey, Guys!” He said enthusiastically as he slipped onto a stool. “Looks like you’re a little ahead of me.”

“Yep! You have to keep up, young man,” Tobias grinned. “What’s your poison?”

“I need a minute to decide. Have either of you heard from the girls? I hope they’re having a good time.”

“We have not,” Ethan deadpanned. “And I hope they’re having an... adequate... time.”

“Adequate?” Bryce questioned. “Why?” 

Tobias wobbly turned toward his friend, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Bryce, just hope they don’t realize they could do much better than us.”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous,” Bryce laughed. “You’re not really worried, are you?”

Ethan and Tobias exchanged a devious look. “I don’t know,” Ethan sighed. “Our ladies are pretty damn special.”

“Sure as hell are,” Tobias agreed. “Brilliant, beautiful, kindhearted...”

“Witty!” Ethan interjected. “They can strike up a conversation with anyone and leave them spellbound. Merida did it to me.”

“Absolutely!” Tobias nodded. “And their flirtation game... damn, it rivals mine.”

Ethan turned to him with disgust. “Are you kidding me? Theirs is so much better than yours.”

“Yeah,” Bryce laughed nervously, “But they love us. Besides, Olivia is the shy one... she wouldn’t be flirting or anything like that.”

His friends' heads spun his way with incredulous grins on their faces. “Maybe once,” Tobias chuckled. “But she’s friends with our girls now.”

“Yep,” Ethan agreed. “She’s learning at the feet of the masters.”

“Right, right,” Bryce chuckled as images of his sweet Olivia filled his mind... his sweet Olivia, who had become so much more outgoing since...  “But they’re not there to party or anything. Right? By now, they’re probably back in the room, watching a movie or having tea.”

“Tea?” Tobias spat as his phone rang. “Oh, shit, it’s them now. Case is facetiming.” He quickly hit accept, and his face lit up as she appeared. “Hey, baby! Having fun?”

“Hey, T! Sure am, we’re at the pool party... I feel like I’m back in college again!”

“Oh really,” he joked. “Just remember, you’re an old married lady now.”

“What?” Casey giggled, “I don’t see a ring on this finger, bub!”  Her giggles broke into full-blown laughter, and her head tilted forward. Unable to control giggling, Tobias unsuccessfully attempted to get her attention.

“Babe... Babe... Casey... you there, hon?”

Merida picked up the phone instead. “Hey, T.  She’s fine. Maybe one Mai Tai too many, but she’s fine. I’m supervising.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Ethan groaned. “Now I feel better.”

“Is that my grump? Let me see him.”

Ethan took the phone from Tobias’s hands. “You know I’m teasing, darling. Don’t you?”

“Of course I do. But I am cutting these girls off for the rest of the night.”

“Girls?” Bryce asked. “Where is Olivia?”

“Olivia?” Mer laughed, turning the phone toward Olivia. Downing the large mug of beer in her hand, Olivia was eating up the attention of her adoring crowd, yelling, “CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!” She dropped her empty mug to the table, jumped on her chair, and yelled, “Woooooo!”.

Bryce’s eyes went wide. “Olivia?”

“You’re right,” Ethan replied without emotion. “She’s the demure one of the group.”

“Yeah, I better go,” Merida sighed. “I’ve got my hands full here. Remember, guys, we love you.”

Bryce grabbed the phone from Ethan’s hands.

“Merida, can I talk to....” but it went dead. 

Ethan and Tobias fought back smirks as Tobias consoled their friend. “Hey, you OK there, pal?”

“Yeah... I’m,” he faltered. “You’re not really worried .... are you?”

“No!” Tobias chuckled. “We’re just busting balls. I mean, look at the three of us. We’re freaking amazing!” When he turned to Ethan, he backtracked. “Well, two of us are amazing. If I were Ramsey, I would be worried.”

Ignoring him, Ethan turned to Bryce. “It’s fine, they’re just having fun.”

“I know,” Bryce fretted, “but... what have your girls done to Olivia?”

“I don’t know, buddy,” Tobias sneered. “But if Casey teaches her any other tricks while they’re gone... I assure you... you’ll be a very happy man when they return.”

“Hey,” Reggie grinned as he approached the men. “Looks like Lahela has joined the party. What can I get you, man?”

Lost in thought, he didn’t reply.

“Bryce?” Reggie asked as Tobias jumped in.

“You know what... bring him a Blue Hawaiian,” he said, throwing his arm over Bryce’s shoulder.

“Well, that’s fitting,” Ethan laughed.

“Just for the next ten minutes or so,” Tobias grinned. “We’ll get him back on track.”

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[curiousaromantic]

Just finished Ghost of Tsushima main storyline AND Iki Island DLC.

sighs

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, OMG

One of the best games I’ve ever played tbh, it was beautiful, I fell in love with Jin Sakai and his character, like, he is genuinely a beautiful person and omg I felt pretty charmed by his resolve throughout the entire game—more men like Jin Sakai please. (yuna youre so lucky girl…)

I’m not much of a gamer myself, kind of I guess, I play when I have free time in my PS5 and when it comes to action games I’m a coward lol idk why whenever I am pushed into a battlefield I freak out (I almost had a heart attack when I started Ghost of Tsushima and the mothafuckers sent straight to fight at Komoda Beach, HELLO? The intro was so beautiful tho…). But Ghost of Tsushima balanced everything very well, and I enjoyed doing NPCs side missions, I felt powerful and badass.

(The way how the fear that the Ghost inflicts on his enemies is portrayed??? Chef’s kiss honestly. And the Records items, especially Conversations with the Khan, I enjoy the lore with so so so so much glee hehe.)

The characters, I fell in love with the characters. I knew I liked videogames when I first played Far Cry 4 and the characters felt so dear to me, and Ghost of Tsushima brought me back to when I was like 9?? and I was playing FC4 on my dad’s PS3. Jin’s story and the rest of the characters’ Tales hypnotized me, idk. The flashbacks, the foreshadowing, the small conservations within Jin and the others…I was sobbing in the ending and in Masako’s and Yuna’s tales. AND THE LOVELY WAY WE GOT SO MUCH APPROACHES TO IMPORTANT THEMES AS WOMEN EMPOWERING, FAMILY, QUEERNESS, TRADITIONALISM, ETC. jin baby you deserve the world.

Ngl, while I was playing the game not only I cherished every single interaction of Jin and his allies/friends, but I was glad he had the time to talk and rest, yk? And that’s why I love Yuna so much, gods.

From what I’ve seen, many ship Ryuzo and Jin, and while I kind of understand and respect Ryuzo, I don’t personally ship them. I was too excited to duel him the moment he was deemed a traitor lol, this game brought out the worst side of me (i was cackling when i got the ghost stance, run fuckers!). I did cry a lot on Iki Island whenever Jin had Ryuzo’s hallucinations, like, ouch, I would hurt forever if a childhood friendship ended like that.

(Talking about Iki Island, Kenji doing a cameo there LMAO, and Jin teasing him with “so you left Tsushima and you didn’t even bothered to say goodbye?” AJDKAKDKAKS YES YOU TELL HIM JIN)

Now, Jin and Yuna??? Muah muah muah, they are soulmates, romantic or platonically or both. Its the way Jin (throughout the story this loyalty builds up, love that) does everything no questions asked when it comes to Yuna, going with her to her tales? Damn Jin straight went and brought her heads! How romantic. The way Kenji was like “he cannot refuse if I tell him Yuna’s waiting”, AND THE WAY JIN HIMSELF OUTRIGHT SAYS THINGS LIKE ‘I would give my life for you’ OR ‘so you and Takeshi…?’ Hehehe they are so precious. They are definitely in love your honor, at least for me.

Wish I could still find the characters in the map or something after the main story ends, I’m at my new home behind Omi Monastery full of nostalgia because Jin’s home is a mosaic of gifts and remembrances of everyone he has known. Yuna’s gift, Ryuzo’s hat, Taka’s hook, Kenji’s sake, First Horse’s saddle (Nobu precious, I wish you had been there with me 😭) and lots of other stuff from Masako, Ishikawa, Lord Shimura, and many others that I don’t remember rn. Like, it is clear Jin loves his homeland, his people, his friends, I’m sure he would have made a perfect Lord, aw.

Thank you for reading my venting. Now, I need fanfics.

[seoafin]

Not massively into cucking tbh but sumn about ripmc makes her hilarious material for it specifically because she'd rlly just not GAF😭 her ass would straight up see her loved ones getting screwed and just be like :) hehe I am so happy for you shall I watch or can I keep recording this documentary on mummification And it's like ????😭 whatever u want beautiful...????

Like it's partially kinda sad cus it's evident she's like this due to 9th circle of hell levels of shit self esteem; sis has thoroughly internalised the notion of being inherently undesirable to such a degree that OFC to her nobody would think she's enough and OFC she'll always be the worst option and if it's another girl her lover(s) are fucking well OFC she's being straight up replaced; it's only logical and fair given she so cruelly replaced her mother's life when it's her all along that should have died (oh jah es ist over für mich)

I'd say that personally (cannot speak 4 others ofc) I feel as tho ripmc's cuckability kinda depends on how you the writer would frame it. I feel like an actual realistic in depth look into why she's okay with being cucked would actually be one of the worst most depressing and horrible things ever written, low-key nauseating even, as it goes into how fucked and defeated her sense of self-esteem and dignity is and well, if u jerk off to feeling gut-clenching vom inducing angst then yeah that would work lol... but going in the opposite direction you'd have a literal comedy on your hands especially cus my personal theory is that rip!mc is actually the same breed as Yuta in that they are both low-key lady killers, they are both sickly lookin timid milquetoast loser types that are somehow hidden womanisers. Like yes stsg would fuck whichever 4th is in their bed real good but sumn about how earnest ripmc is with people pleasing and administering praise would have her spoiling said hypothetical bedmates, esp if they were a woman, to the point where honestly...? She'd have some one night stands falling in lov w her I think LMAO, like if that broad Meiko ever tried some shit again I wouldn't be surprised if somehow ripmc managed to seduce her like yeah stsg cock and balls shaboing boing but have you ever felt the tender touch of ripmc caressing your ear and gazing at you in the eyes like you're the rarest star in the sky as she murmurs about how precious and not like the other girls and lovely you are and she means it too cus how the fuck else would she remember u wore versace bright crystal the one time u dropped a bobby pin next to her outside the woman's toilets... She would b making the girlies have a Lois running away w the hot girl cashier family guy moment I fear (the Target laser is stsg)... Like pls, w the way these womens trad husbands treat them she'd have the Real Sorceres Wives of Tokyo considering hettie conversion therapy 💯🙏trust

HELP there are so many crazy points of this message but I can't get over the way you described ripmc and yuuta as "sickly looking timid milquetoast loser types" like....that's poetry baybe

[ofmermaidstories]

ur post about oc fic and reader insert fic made me think about how every time i see a post dragging x reader it's kinda just... thinly veiled misogyny.

like i don't wanna get super deep or whatever but a good chunk of x reader writers (myself included) are just women or people socialized as women that have felt unloved or under appreciated in their lives because of their looks or their personality or their skills in things that women/feminine people are expected to excel in and i think that oc/reader insert stories give women a really important space to make themselves (or a version of themselves) the most desired thing which is something that they often don't experience. it's a space where women can feel comfortable and loved in a world where they're under appreciated and tossed aside because of things out of their control and it drives me up a wall when i see people shitting on these spaces and these works because these are just safe spaces for marginalized people PREDOMINATELY CREATED BY MARGINALIZED PEOPLE!!

n e ways this was a long rant oops..

omg see the thing that gets me about the occassional x reader/oc drag is that—the call is coming from inside the house LMAO. like, okay maybe original characters in fics aren’t a niche thing, but x reader sure the hell is, so you have to like, know internet culture/fandom to be aware of it let alone to start using it like an insult, you know? and i would argue that fanfic tends to be a hobby that attracts marginalised identities as you say, so like, why are we clowning on ourselves? LOL. it’s like a mathlete bullying the horse girl of their class, like, buddy—we’re both losers!!! get over yourself LMAO.

i think my favourite dig at x reader (specifically) that i’ve ever seen is some rando on tiktok saying it was fanfic for people who were popular in public school—i think it’s so telling of how other fans might view oc/reader content? like, “oh that’s just some straight girl shit, they’re not putting any effort into it/they’re stealing our precious ship boys for their pORN/they’re ruining the canon story by inserting themselves into it”. and idk—part of it is just human nature (we are always going to shit on things we don’t like, that is a fact) and part of it might be fandom/internet culture at large at the moment (the purity aspect/policing) but at the end of the day all we can do is tell them to eat dog shit when they sprout up in our spaces and ignore ‘em.

idk! it drives me bonkers though, because it does feel like these spaces/niches do get targeted unfairly for it—if it’s not for the simple crime of writing a love story with your favourite character, then it’s like… being old and doing it! because god forbid you be over the age of 18 and still enjoy engaging with fiction! don’t you have a mortgage to go pay? like—i never see that attitude (within a fandom space) directed at the grown-ass men and women and gender neutral pals who play like, Dungeons and Dragons. No one (within a fandom space!) tells them they’re weird for forty-hour long campaigns where they fight and fall in love and idk, put dragons in some dungeons or something. no—it’s the blatant love stories that get picked on. the ones written by girls (gender neutral).

romance—and falling in love—is one of the most universal feelings/acts in the world. we want to fall in love with everything! in every world! we wanna—fall in love and be loved by superheroes and the villains they fight and the monsters in the dark and the good guys that rush in with swords and the cute barista at the coffee shop down the road. if other fans wanna get hung up on the fact that a tiny fraction of others want to insert themselves in these incredible worlds and experience everything they want to (having powers; being saved. saving someone else—saving yourself) then that’s their problem lmaoooo. im sorry you can’t have fun and create whimsy for yourself by drawing an oc who wins the sports festival and saves bakugou from being kidnapped—but im built different. 😌 and im gonna have fun while im here.

[the-owl-tree]

I think Shadowsight’s story was more of a tragedy with him living because he never got actual closure for the shit he went thru. A half-assed “apology” from pretty much the whole damn forest except for his parents who wanted him punished for being manipulated and abused and some (Lionblaze) even wanting him dead iirc?? And he just? Clocked in to work the next day like nothing happened and kept being a medicine cat? He got the bad ending actually imo. I don’t like Shadowsight bc I’m tired of “the most specialist uwu sad softboi #8763” being churned out in the series but at least he’s compelling unlike Alderheart, Rootspring and Nightheart and his story is one most people wanted to see end well after all the horrific abuse he faced. But it didn’t? It felt… empty and mean spirited? Which isn’t new for the Erins but usually they do it to women so nobody gaf. Idk I just felt like especially the other medicine cats should have done more to atone for their cruelty. They’re all comrades under the same oath yet they were so fucking awful and treated him at best like a useless nuisance and at worst an enemy. Shadowsight literally ate deathberries out of desperation for an answer that would appease everyone and it’s so obviously a suicide attempt but brushed out to fit the narrative. He deserved better and it was genuinely disappointing that nothing else was done. “Oh Shadowsight, you ARE useful!! Yes you’re allowed to sit with us again. Huh? Apologize? For what” <- Mothwing probably

I feel like him going onto become a bg character with no baring on the main plot and his only acknowledgements are characters going "there's that dumbass who released cat satan" is just. not the plot I think people would have wanted from the guy who played TBC's punching bag for six books straight lol side note....i miss when side characters/bg characters got to have stories and tidbits. Mousewhisker having a crush on Minnowpaw...Spiderleg and Daisy's whole thing....we used to have interesting casts :(

I quite like Shadowsight, I think he stands out from the other examples by actually being strange and offputting. He does weird things and characters comment on his appearance and intimidating looks, makes me actually understand and empathize with his "outsider" status, ya know? Also thanks to osmosis from my mutuals he's a girl to me so there's that lol I think him being so put down by others (facing actual adversity) makes him interesting and my irritation with that comes from the story trying to "both sides" it rather than acknowledge the wider array of issues at hand. I don't think an apology is necessarily needed, I just kind of like narrative acknowledgement. But I'd need to reread TBC for a more succinct argument (i wanna reread tbc anyways, i just need time lol maybe when im bored on campus i'll do it)

I wouldn't call the deathberry thing a suicide attempt, though you could arguably make the interpretation that it is a cry for help in some regards; I think that just wasn't the authorial intent. I do agree he deserved better, it's a bit disappointing how we haven't gotten to see him more :( where is my Shadow and Frost bonding moments :(